March 1, 2011 by Folio Weekly

Northeast Florida’s News & Opinion Magazine • March 1-7, 2011 • Cavalcade of Crunk

Mayoral candidate Warren Lee’s scant résumé has some thinking he’s a GOP stooge. p. 6

FREE

Nashville’s Grace Potter & The Nocturnals bring their bluesy rock to The Florida Theatre. p. 24

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Inside

Volume 24 Number 48

21 36

30 EDITOR’S NOTE p. 4 MAIL p. 5 NEWS Mayoral candidate Warren Lee’s scant résumé has some thinking he’s a GOP stooge. p. 6 BUZZ, BOUQUETS & BRICKBATS Ozzy doesn’t suck! and other faint praise. Plus City Council candidate Sean Hall shows off his cop-pimped SUV. p. 8 COVER STORY Water Hogs: Our annual list of who sucks the most. Water, that is. p. 11 OUR PICKS Reasons to leave the house this week. p. 19 MOVIES Reviews of “The Eagle” and “Unknown.” p. 20

MUSIC Nashville’s Grace Potter & The Nocturnals bring their bluesy rock to The Florida Theatre. Plus garage rocker Ty Segall hits the Ancient City p. 23 ARTS The inaugural Florida Waterways Dance Project comes to a water body near you. p. 30 NEWS OF THE WEIRD Dryer lint as great art. p. 42 FREEWILL ASTROLOGY Visualize a needle in your ear, Sagittarius. p. 44 BACKPAGE Not all hookers are created equal. p. 47

I ♥ TELEVISION p. 9 SPORTS p. 10 HAPPENINGS p. 34 DINING p. 35 I SAW U p. 43 CLASSIFIEDS p. 45

MARCH 1-7, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 3

Sheeple Power “I am not swayed by public opinion. I am guided by what I believe.”

epending on your politics, and possibly your religious background, the above is either the statement of a level-headed leader or proof that Jacksonville mayoral candidate Mike Hogan behaves like a sheep. Sure, everyone likes independent thinkers — people insulated from yes men, governed by a strong internal compass. But it’s worth parsing Hogan’s statement for a couple of reasons. For one, it is the mayor’s job to respond to public opinion, and then to channel it — a skill that city mayors have either mastered (John Delaney’s voter-approved Better Jacksonville Plan) or muffed (John Peyton’s eight years, unblemished by significant accomplishment). Hogan is obviously playing the personalmorals-over-opinion-polls card, one that many politicians lay on the campaign table. His claim

Hogan offers such extraordinary deference. In 2007, Hogan appeared as a character witness for a man convicted of possession of child pornography. In his testimony, Hogan assured the judge that the man, a former youth pastor and friend of his son’s, would never have done the crime for which he’d just been found guilty. Hogan called the findings of the court “so far out of character for this man as to be bizarre,” adding, “It would be like taking a trip to the North Pole and never seeing any ice or snow.” Hogan went on to explain that, despite the evidence the FBI found on the man’s computer, “There is no evidence in his past that speaks to these problems of which he’s been convicted of.” Besides, if the man had truly been a consumer of child porn, Hogan reasoned, “given the things he’s done and the positions that he’s been entrusted with, a problem such as this would have surfaced.”

Jacksonville may not yet be able to elect a progressive mayor, and it’s not absolutely necessary that it elect a smart one. But a curious mind can make up for a lot. that he’s immune to what people think isn’t just a political talking point, however. It’s a sign of a deeper insularity. Hogan, you might know, is a member of First Baptist Church, a powerful conservative outfit that has spawned a disproportionate number of elected officials, who fill seats from the city council to the state senate. It has occasionally waded into political waters itself, as it did in 2002 when the church’s pastor offered this inflammatory religious comparison to a group of fellow Baptists: “Christianity was founded by the virgin-born Jesus Christ. Islam was founded by Mohammed, a demonpossessed pedophile.” Asked about the statement at the time, Hogan, then a state Rep., defended his pastor, saying he did not “find anything wrong with what he said.” He added, “If my pastor said it, I have to believe that it’s absolutely correct.” Such fealty may appeal to those raised to regard blind faith as a higher virtue than critical faculties, but it doesn’t make for a great leader. And it isn’t just to his pastor that

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Of course, prosecutors would suggest it did surface — right around the time law enforcement searched his computer. But Hogan didn’t address the evidence. Despite his impassioned defense, he was largely ignorant of the details of the case, having refused to attend the trial. Which is really the crux of the problem. It isn’t that Hogan testified about something he believed in, but that he so fervently believed without bothering to verify. Jacksonville may not yet be able to elect a progressive mayor, and it’s not absolutely necessary that it elect a smart one. But a curious mind can make up for a lot. Hogan’s platform — which includes such proposals as eliminating the Jacksonville Human Rights Commission, and selling off Preservation Project lands for profit — suggests not so much a fresh approach as a return to the city’s darkest days. The road ahead may indeed have some bumps. But we should not be taken down it by someone who is himself so easily led. Anne Schindler themail@folioweekly.com

9456 Philips Highway, Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 Phone: 904.260.9770 Fax: 904.260.9773 e-mail: info@folioweekly.com website: folioweekly.com PUBLISHER David Brennan dbrennan@folioweekly.com • ext. 130

Stick-Ups

I just picked up the recent issue of Folio Weekly. Wow! There was Matt Kerwick’s face right on the cover (“Stick Figure,” Feb. 15). What a feature on our men’s lacrosse program. Thank you so much for giving a spotlight, not only to the Sunshine Classic, but to our university and lacrosse program. I’m very proud of Matt and our entire team. We have a dynamite opportunity under Matt’s leadership and I appreciate Folio Weekly and Bob Snell recognizing that. Bob wrote a terrific piece. Another reason why Folio Weekly continues to thrive and is something I read all the time! Thank you again. Alan Verlander Director of Athletics, Jacksonville University Jacksonville via email

Political Victuals

The popular revolutions we are witnessing in the Middle East, while inspired by a desire for personal freedom and self-determination, are certainly sustained by a pervasive hunger pandemic, particularly among the world’s lessprivileged populations. Since last December, skyrocketing demand for food and dwindling supplies have driven the global Food Price Index to new records. Supplies have suffered from catastrophic floods and droughts linked to global warming and from gradual depletion of groundwater aquifers. Demand has been fueled by unchecked population growth and by diversion of massive amounts of grains into biofuel and meat production. Hunger afflicts nearly 1 billion people worldwide, mostly women and children. It feeds massive popular migrations and unrest that, sooner or later, will affect us all. Some of the causes of global hunger are beyond our personal control. But, as the world’s highest meat consumers, we have a special obligation to free up some grains for the hungry by limiting our own consumption. With the broad availability of delicious and nutritious meat and dairy alternatives in every supermarket, there is no reason to delay. Entering “live vegan” in a search engine returns lots of good guidance. Jason Rittonhouse Jacksonville via email

Old and In the Way

The 2010 governor’s race was very tight and certain authorities say it was the closest election on record. Rick Scott’s victory was won with the senior citizen vote. He promised lower property taxes, which the seniors, acting like starving dogs, ate up, acting in their own self-interest. The seniors did so at the expense of quality education, quality public employees, quality environment and quality Medicaid. After all, these seniors came to Florida to take advantage of the low cost of living as well as the climate. Many of them are living on pensions with COLA clauses that no longer exist. Many of these senior citizens are living very well (at least where I live) with new cars every three years, and some who are in their 70s are still on the education payroll for Jacksonville. So why are they complaining? The simple answer

is they are CHEAP! When many people get old, the issue becomes more of self-interest and greed than affordability. Seniors also suffer from very short memories. When their children attended school, they fought tooth and nail for the best school budgets possible. When they were working, they did the same to support their union and other unions because the unions are the underpinning of a middle-class society in the United States. As they got older, they were pleased that they had supported the programs of the Great Society (which included COLA for Social Security recipients). By the 1980s, the first large wave of retirees were already preaching, as Ronald Reagan did, that we are not our brother’s keeper, and that it is up to every individual to grab what he could for himself or herself.

Seniors also suffer from very short memories. When their children attended school, they fought tooth and nail for the best school budgets possible. When they were working, they did the same to support their union. I am reviewing recent issues of the Jacksonville Business Journal and actually laughing about the stories in the most recent five issues that are expressing surprise and concern that the new governor is not supporting Jaxport’s efforts to prepare for more shipping business from the expanded Panama Canal, nor is the new governor supporting the high-speed railroad idea. Gov. Scott showed his contempt for the state legislature, as evidenced by his decision to preview his budget for the Tea Party faithful rather than going to Tallahassee to present it to the legislature. With Gov. Scott, what you see is what you get, and you are now getting his efforts to be with Jeb Bush and the Tea Party ticket in 2012. I think it’s time for everyone in Florida to wake up and smell the stink that the senior citizens made. It’s time for the seniors to start giving back to the current generations raising children, starting new careers and trying to finish college. Worst of all is the lie you tell yourself that you are worrying about your grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Worry about the living today — the present is a gift from God, that’s why it’s called “the present.” Domenick A. Bottini Jacksonville via email

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Folio Weekly is published every Tuesday throughout Northeast Florida. It contains opinions of contributing writers that are not necessarily the opinion of this publication. Folio Weekly welcomes both editorial and photographic contributions. Calendar information must be received three weeks in advance of event date. Copyright © Folio Publishing, Inc. 2011. All rights reserved. Advertising rates and information are available on request. An advertiser purchases right of publication only. One free copy per person. Additional copies and back issues are $1 each at the office or $4 by mail, based on availability. First Class mail subscriptions are $48 for 13 weeks, $96 for 26 weeks and $189 for 52 weeks. Please recycle Folio Weekly. Folio Weekly is printed on recycled paper using soy-based inks. 44,200 press run • Audited weekly readership 110,860

MARCH 1-7, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 5

Walter Coker

Batting a Thousand “Hey, this doesn’t stink after all.” — The T-U’s recent review of the Feb. 22 Ozzy Osborne concert.

Without a job, a war chest or even a campaign headquarters, Warren Lee’s bid for mayor has generated skepticism.

Save the Amphitheatre? Will the dynamic doers who brought us the Flaming Lips, Aretha Franklin, the Kings of Leon and the Stone Temple Pilots survive a boss who thinks that the PGA Golf Tournament is the most important event in St. Johns County? We have our doubts. Yet after all the success of the St. Augustine Amphitheatre, the St. Johns County Commission is scheduled to vote on March 1 whether to transfer management of that facility from the county’s Cultural Division (under the Parks & Recreation Department) to the Tourist Development Council. That would put it under the thumb of TDC Executive Director Glenn Hastings, who memorably told Folio Weekly, when asked about his decision to strip funding from several music events, “Everything can’t be a big golf tournament like Sawgrass — but it would be nice.” (http://bit.ly/ cGQgRg). Hastings’ first order of business? Selling the naming rights of the venue.

Mr. Big “Yeah, it’s a really cool car.” — Group 5 At-Large Jacksonville City Council candidate Sean Hall, explaining that he does drive a tricked-out SUV designed to look like a cop car. Hall, spotted by a Folio Weekly reader recently outside Cool Moose Café in Riverside showing off the vehicle, says his SUV features limo tint on the windows, black rims, flashing lights under the grill, searchlights by the side view mirrors, and sirens. (It also has a skull-andcrossbones front vanity plate.) As an employee for Panasonic Computer Solutions, Hall sold equipment to cops, and his car is a demo of all the gadgets available. Now that Hall’s been promoted to executive business development manager for Latin America, he’s no longer selling gizmos for police vehicles, but Panasonic lets him drive the truck anyway. Despite the toys, Hall says he doesn’t use them to intimidate other drivers or run red lights. “Then you’d be committing a felony,” he demurs.

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Lee Way

Mayoral candidate Warren Lee’s scant résumé has some thinking he’s a GOP stooge

hen word got out that Jacksonville mayoral hopeful Warren Lee had closed his North Main Street campaign headquarters, it seemed like one more piece of evidence in an already-suspect candidacy. Democratic insiders have long wondered if Lee’s bid for mayor was staged by Republicans to sap votes from Alvin Brown, the only other Democrat and the only other African American in the race. Not that there’s only room for one black candidate in a five-person race, but Lee’s political and financial bonafides don’t always stand up to scrutiny. First of all, he’s unemployed. He lost his job as a corrections officer with the state Department of Juvenile Justice in June 2010, and his sole income is a $1,110 monthly unemployment check and a military pension of $236. Several creditors have taken him to court over unpaid debts, and he was evicted twice in 2009, from two separate rental apartments. As late as December 2010, however, he listed one of those apartments on his campaign finance reports as his primary address. (Lee declined to tell Folio Weekly where he actually lives. His campaign manager, J.R. Gaillot, says the address error hasn’t been corrected because Lee simply signs the reports prepared by his campaign treasurer and hasn’t caught the error.) Lee has also changed the details of his biography several times. At first, he said he was an officer with the FBI’s task force on human trafficking. Then he said he was a volunteer. On his website, warrenleeformayor.com, which was updated in 2011, Lee lists his occupation as a corrections officer with the Department of Juvenile Justice. But he left that job in July 2010 after about a year and a half. He told one news outlet that he was on a leave of absence. He told another reporter that he and the agency had had a “parting of the ways.” Then there’s the financial viability of his campaign. In the final stretch leading up to the

March 22 primary, Lee has almost no money: Of the $6,835 he’s received in contributions, he has just $797 remaining. By contrast, Alvin Brown has raised $105,123 and spent $33,083, according to the most recent financial disclosure reports. (The three Republican candidates outdistance both Democrats: Mike Hogan has raised $457,718 in donations and spent $236,282, Audrey Moran has raised $548,258 and spent $300,413, and Rick Mullaney has raised $672,891 and spent $361,701.)

the Duval County Democratic Executive Committee. “But on a personal level, taking everything together, I’m rather suspicious of the gentleman. The man actually came out of nowhere. There has been a rumor that he was seen several times at Republican headquarters … And we had no insight into his candidacy until he went down and filed. Really and truly, he never bothered to contact the Democratic office until well into the filing period.” Alvin Brown’s communications director

Lee laughs when asked if he is a straw candidate put up by the Republican Party to spoil Alvin Brown’s chances. “If they were [backing me], I can assure you we would have a lot more money in my finance account,” he says. Still, even if he only gets a tiny number of votes, Lee could affect the outcome of the race. Because the primary election on March 22 is non-partisan, voters from any party can vote for any candidate. If none of the candidates receives more than 50 percent of the vote, the two top vote-getters go head-to-head in a runoff. Because of the strong field of Republicans, a Democratic contender needs all the votes he can muster to have a chance of making the runoff. At the same time, if Republican voters split their support among the three GOP candidates, strong turnout from Democratic voters — particularly African Americans — could potentially put Brown in the runoff. Therefore Lee, who candidly acknowledges that his chances of moving past the primary are slim, is increasingly viewed as a spoiler. “I can’t say with any certainty that Warren Lee was set up to take votes away from Alvin Brown,” says Travis Bridges, chairman of

Dave Roman says Brown wouldn’t comment on Lee’s candidacy. But Lee laughs when asked if he is a straw candidate put up by the Republican Party to spoil Alvin Brown’s chances. “If they were [backing me], I can assure you we would have a lot more money in my finance account,” he says. “Here’s the deal,” he continues. “I’m not running as a candidate with 3.2 kids and a white picket fence. There are 145,000 people unemployed in this city. They can see that here’s a guy who has absolutely nothing, really, but a passion to bring jobs to the city, to bring crime down and to fight for a better education system.” Lee also says he’s never been to Republican headquarters and says he’d be willing to take a lie detector test to prove it. As for his legitimacy as a candidate, he points out that he collected 12,000 signatures on his petition to qualify for the race, almost twice as many as he needed.

Speculation about Lee’s ties to Republicans really heated up when the Times-Union reported on Feb. 2 that Lee and Republican mayoral candidate Audrey Moran share the same Washington, D.C.-based consulting firm, but that only Moran had made a payment to GMS Consulting ($2,900 for “voter outreach”). As it happens, Moran would benefit the most from diluting Brown’s vote, because she appeals to Democratic voters. Lee’s campaign manager Gaillot does work for the company that Moran hired for voter outreach, but Gaillot says he only works for Democrats. He explains that he’s on leave from GMS Consulting and that he volunteered to be Lee’s campaign manager, just like he volunteered to manage the campaign of the late Jackie Brown in 2007. “Warren is not tied by political favors to the good ol’ boys in Jacksonville. That’s the difference,” says Gaillot. “Yes, Warren has gone through tough times in his life, but you learn from them. It happens.” Lenny Curry, chairman of the Republican Party of Duval County, says the speculation about Lee shows Democrats’ desperation. “They’ve got more than one Democrat in the race,” he says, “and they are looking for reasons to excuse the possibility that [neither will] be in the runoff.” Susan Cooper Eastman sceastman@folioweekly.com

(Bad) Luck of the Irish After 25 years on St. George Street in downtown St. Augustine, the House of Ireland was given just 12 days to get out. On Feb. 16, the owners of the Irish gift shop were notified by the building’s owner that their lease wouldn’t be renewed, and they had to leave by March 1 to make way for the chain clothing store Fresh Produce. Unfortunately, the shop’s owners have already ordered for their biggest sales day of the year — St. Patrick’s Day on March 17. Co-owner Jan Perkins says they’re going to sell from their website theirishgiftshop.com until they find another spot. “It’s very sad,” says Perkins, “and I feel sad for St. Augustine.”

The Weather-Beaten Path “Here, high bluffs overlook a beach strewn with smooth, bleached white skeletons of giant trees.” — How writer Andy Schrader describes the beach at Big Talbot Island State Park, in a piece in Southern Living’s February issue. “Ditch the I-95 slog for scenic State A1A,” Schrader urges readers, “a two-lane coastal ramble that was Florida’s primary artery before the interstate.”

MARCH 1-7, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 7

Public Education Rally, Metropolitan Park, Jacksonville, February 21

Bouquets to St. Johns County Code Enforcement supervisor James Acosta for implementing a unique way to fight the proliferation of illegal signs in the county’s rights-of-way. By putting every phone number listed on illegal signs into an auto-dial system, the Code Enforcement Division creates an electronic nagging system: a continuous-calling loop with a two-minute message explaining that signs in county rights-of-way are illegal. The phone messages continue to call the number as many as 20 times a day until the offending sign’s owner contacts the county to report the sign has been removed. Brickbats to Jacksonville mayoral candidate Mike Hogan for cracking jokes about bombing abortion clinics at a recent candidates’ forum. Though Hogan ultimately apologized, he initially resisted, saying a “sorry” was unnecessary, since he was speaking to an audience that was “110 percent against abortion rights.” His eventual apology was fairly peevish, as well. Hogan complained that while he was catching all kinds of flak, “[There] doesn’t seem to be any uproar about the fact that we’ve killed 40 million babies in this country.” Bouquets to Annette Danielson, founder and director of the St. Augustine Community School of Performing Arts, for helping spearhead a drive to give every child in St. Johns County the opportunity to learn how to play a musical instrument. Danielson’s group is leading an effort to collect unused musical instruments to lend to children in the community. For information about donating your unused musical instrument, go to sacspa.org

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10 MORE Reasons to Dislike Miley Cyrus R

eason No. 11: Miley Cyrus is SO unlikable, her mere existence is forcing me to write yet another column about how much I dislike her. (The first column, “10 Reasons to Dislike Miley Cyrus,” was written last year, and it actually contained only eight reasons — I was so infuriated by my dislike for her, I ran out of space. But since that was HER fault, I’m starting this column with Reason No. 11.) Reason No. 12: Miley Cyrus is hosting “Saturday Night Live” this week (Saturday, March 5, NBC, 11:30 p.m.), with musical guests The Strokes. Everything about that last sentence — especially the mention of Miley Cyrus — is unlikable. For comparison, here’s a more likable sentence: Seeping Chest Wound is hosting a Dysentery Vegan Potluck this week, with anal

What kind of idiot smokes salvia when tons of highquality ganoobie doobie just arrived from the jungles of Colombia? itching guests the Genital Wart Marching Band. Reason No. 13: I liked Miley Cyrus better when she was a young dumb hick with a mouthful of busted Chiclets for teeth. Now that she is trying to portray herself as a sexy adult, she reminds me of my aunt Wanda after she drank four Long Island Iced Teas and fell asleep topless under the tanning lamp. Reason No. 14: Billy Ray Cyrus is her father. Reason No. 15: And OMG! What a total dork he is! He’s got greasy hair, wears his shirt open to his navel and has a totally gross soul patch on his chin. Reason No. 16: Even worse, Billy Ray Cyrus — famous for exactly two things: singing the extremely unlikable song “Achy Breaky Heart” and contributing to the birth of his bucktoothed unlikable daughter — is now blaming Disney and “Los Angeles” (via a GQ interview) for turning Miley into an unrepentant salvia bong huffer! WAIT. Let me back up … Reason No. 17: Miley Cyrus is an unrepentant salvia bong huffer. She was videotaped at a party lung-wrestling a bong packed with the hallucinatory (but legal) substance salvia, and her hillbilly dad hit the roof! Hey, I’d be furious, too! What kind of idiot smokes salvia when tons of high-quality ganoobie doobie just arrived from the jungles of Colombia? (Note: While I hate pot and potheads, I hate fake pot and fake potheads more.) Reason No. 18: Where was I? OH YEAH! So Billy Ray Cyrus watched the YouTube of his fake-pothead daughter smoking her fake hillbilly pot, and he was all like: “GAW-AWAW-LEEE! Mah daughter done been rooned by Satan! Durrrrr!!!” And: “Duhhhhh!! Ah shore do wish she ain’t never done no Hanner Montaner telebishion show!” THAT MAKES TWO OF US, YOU BLITHERING HAYSEED. Reason No. 19: Crap. I thought I had 20 reasons … Wait! Now I remember! GUYS.

Miley Cyrus almost “rooned” the Justin Bieber movie! (Yes, I saw the Justin Bieber movie … is there a problem, probation officer?) For reasons that almost make me hate Beebs, he did a duet with this dinga-ling, which almost made me spew my Goobers into my popcorn! UGH!! It was like an angel falling face-first into a pile of rusty heroin needles! Reason No. 20: Miley Cyrus has more money than me. WHICH SHE USES TO BUY FAKE POT!!

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 29 8:00 FOX AMERICAN IDOL Viewer voting begins tonight, as the top 10 men perform. YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO. 9:30 FOX RAISING HOPE The family votes on whether or not Burt should get a vasectomy. HEY! Why can’t I vote, too?!?

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 30 8:00 PBS AMERICAN MASTERS Hey lovers of AM Gold! Check out this retrospective of the ’70s “singer/songwriter” movement. 9:00 ABC MODERN FAMILY For some reason, Gloria is creeped out by Jay’s choice of “His-n-Her burial plots.”

THURSDAY, MARCH 3 8:00 FOX AMERICAN IDOL The final 10 are chosen! (Again, don’t wake me up until the final six.) 10:00 ANI PIG BOMB About the wild pig population explosion in the U.S., and not how to make a bomb out of a pig. Truth in advertising, please!!

FRIDAY, MARCH 4 8:00 AMC THE WALKING DEAD MARATHON Seven episodes of goddamn brain-eatin’ zombies (and the people who decapitate them). 10:00 IFC ONION NEWS NETWORK A special report on who may have kidnapped the president and replaced him with a teabagger.

SATURDAY, MARCH 5 11:30 NBC SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE Featuring the unlikable Miley Cyrus, and equally unlikable musical guests The Strokes.

SUNDAY, MARCH 6 9:00 NBC CELEBRITY APPRENTICE Season premiere! Donald Trump schools celebrity guests Gary Busey, Meatloaf and … Lil’ Jon? YESSS! 10:00 ANI TAKING ON TYSON Debut! Competitors take on heavyweight champion Mike Tyson … in professional pigeon racing? YESSS!

MONDAY, MARCH 7 8:00 ABC THE BACHELOR: THE WOMEN TELL ALL The rejected bachelorettes return to slag Brad and hear the tragic results of their STD tests. 8:00 FOX HOUSE Cuddy gets upsetting news, which results in musical dream sequences. (Oh, “Glee” — what hath thou wrought?) Wm.™ Steven Humphrey steve@portlandmercury.com MARCH 1-7, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 9

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Sales Rep erin eople oft en ask: “Hey, Gankie, why do you

write about sports, anyway?” Some ask me in an almost pitying manner, as if to say that I should be writing about more important things, like Oedipal symbolism in Drake songs or the global business cycle or one politician or another. I find it impossible to make them understand that sports envelop all other aspects of culture. Sports are madness and metaphor, simulacrum and simile, the quasi-Alpha and the faux Omega. Sports are preparation for war, and writing about them: preparation for war coverage, where both sides employ the same dastardly and bastardly tactics, yet we

sign of PED use) forward, and never question any part of the narrative. Whatever those jealous Frenchies said about him, whatever former teammates might have said about him, whatever other cyclists said … all of it as easily dismissed as a David Icke fever dream. Icons come with built-in expiration dates. Yet Armstrong’s rep was burnished to such a degree that his essays can be found in composition books. Whatever comes of the federal investigation, he’ll never serve jail time. And if he does, bet your backside that all these million-dollar babies behind the mikes in Bristol, Conn., will finally develop political consciousness, gnashing their teeth at the perfidy. The same won’t happen if Barry Bonds, who faces federal charges in a few weeks for a few counts of trumpedup crap, is convicted. The judge has asked both sides to strike a plea deal, but why should Bonds “plea” to anything? That would be tantamount to an admission of guilt. And of what exactly has Bonds been guilty? Being too good. Eclipsing Great White Hopes like Mark McGwire and Babe Ruth. Telling the truth about racism at the heart of the sports establishment, the truth about the sportsentertainment industry that consumes bodies with as little ceremony as Oprah Winfrey takes in upsizing her combo meal. Bonds should walk away a free and exonerated man. And the media should kiss his ass in the bargain. But odds are, it won’t happen. Even if the federal court finds him innocent, he’ll be convicted, again and again, by the bleached-teeth ghouls of corporate media. Guilty of being too black. Too good. When future Chinese historians write about this epoch in American sports, the last 20 years of obsessions with athletes and teams, the posttribal identifications with this team’s mascot or that team’s color scheme, they’ll most likely understand — in a way Americans clearly do not — why it is our government and our media structure invested so much energy, time and lifeforce into quasi-gladatorial pro athletes. They’ll pinpoint our national obsessions with Barry, Lance, Tiger and all the rest as necessary Bread and Circus-styled distractions from everything from phony currency to the social problems of the underclass bleeding upwards, becoming the new norm. To quote Paul Weller — or was it Pauly Shore? — that’s entertainment.

Barry Bonds should walk away a free and exonerated man. But even if the federal court finds him innocent, he’ll be convicted, again and again, by the bleached-teeth ghouls of corporate media.

write about one as if it is absolute good and the other, evil incarnate. Experienced journalists develop a certain flexibility, in the manner of the Egyptian state media which went from pro-Mubarak to anti-Hosni in less time than it takes to come back from commercial break. We see this malleability across culture and especially — because it is a funhouse-mirror distortion of the respectable media itself — in sports media. And that’s part of my interest in the field, to expose the hypocrisy on everything from Michael Vick to Urban Meyer, to the treatment of two promient drugging athletes, one one an American hero, the other a villain without peer. The first athlete? Lance Armstrong, bicyclist extraordinaire, whose abrupt, pharmaceutically driven retirement from the world of competitive racing put him pre-emptively defended lately by everyone from Jungle Jim Rome on down the radio hierarchy. And the other? Home run king Barry Bonds, like Armstrong, still under federal scrutiny. How could it be any other way? Like the image of Tiger Woods, the Lance Armstrong persona was as carefully crafted and homogenized as the latest flavor of Doritos. We were encouraged to identify with him from the time of his testicular cancer (itself a warning 10 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 1-7, 2011

AG Gancarski themail@folioweekly.com

Our annual list of who sucks the most. Water, that is. By Susan Cooper Eastman | Photos by Dustin Hegedus

hen Gov. Rick Scott signed his first executive order suspending all new regulations, a collective cheer must have gone up among utility companies in the St. Johns River Basin. Included in the suspension was a requirement that the region’s water suppliers detail how they will meet the demands of their customers for the next 20 years, gallon for gallon. As part of the St. Johns River Water Management District’s 2030 state-mandated water supply plan, utilities must commit to building water desalinization plants and reclaimed water irrigation systems, or to sucking some portion of their water supply from regional rivers, creeks and springs. It isn’t an idle exercise. The Water Management District estimates there will be a 90-million-gallon-a-day water shortfall in Northeast Florida by 2030 (though estimates have decreased with the stalled economy). The region was placed

under year-round watering restrictions in March 2009, and the Floridan Aquifer — the vast underground freshwater sea that supplies Florida with most of its water — is already showing signs of collapse. The most visible signs, according to St. Johns Riverkeeper Neil Armingeon, are the vanishing lakes of Keystone Heights and recent drops of water levels in rivers and streams in the Suwannee River Basin. Yet billions of gallons of drinking-quality water are poured down the storm drains of the St. Johns River Basin every year. We squander stupendous amounts of water, and by far the largest waste is our habit of sprinkling potable water on lawns. Irrigation systems account for 50 percent of most household consumption. It all adds up, of course — leaky faucets, extralong showers, unnecessary dishwasher loads. The collective impact of our water use is what damages the supply, and we each have an individual responsibility to conserve. For that reason, as we have for the past four years, Folio Weekly presents our annual Water Hogs issue, an attempt to boost

water conservation consciousness by outing the region’s most excessive consumers. As we’ve done in previous years, we obtained a list from JEA of the Top 50 residential water customers. We then sent letters to all 50 detailing their water usage, and seeking comment or clarification, and made a concerted effort to contact the Top 15. Several of this year’s Water Hogs said they didn’t notice the spike in their consumption because their payments are automatically deducted from their bank accounts. JEA has no mechanism in its billing system to alert customers whose water use exceeds normal levels, or whose consumption shows an unusual spike. Of course, JEA makes money on water, wasted or not, and may not have much motivation to correct that billing flaw. Still, there’s always the hope that a little attention will effect big change. Which is, in a sense, the goal of Water Hogs. Whether it arouses latent conservation instincts or shames the piggiest of consumers into behaving better, this is one pork byproduct we want everyone to taste.

MARCH 1-7, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 11

Gary & Christine Granfield, Worth Drive East, Ortega

Market value of home: $1,411,331 Lot size: .77 acres Water used: 2,237,000 gallons (Roughly the equivalent of three Olympic-sized swimming pools, with enough water left to fill 5,020 55-gallon rain barrels.) Annual bill: $11,145

Gary and Christine Granfield don’t wear the crown of No. 1 Water Hog with pride. They live in a posh four-bedroom, five-bath home with a swimming pool on threequarters of an acre of land on the banks of the St. Johns River, but Gary Granfield says that doesn’t mean they consume huge quantities of water. He called Folio Weekly as soon as the couple received our initial letter. Granfield said that he and his wife Christine, medical director for Breast Health Services at Baptist Health, had a break in a water line out to their dock in 2010. They didn’t notice it because their bill is deducted automatically from their bank account and the leak wasn’t visible from their lawn. “With that much water, you’d think the place would be flooded,” he said. The water flushed into a city storm pipe that drains into the St. Johns River. Granfield was contrite. “It is obviously a very embarrassing situation,” he said.

Lewis B. Walker, Timuquana Road, Westside

Market value of home: $110,111 Lot size: 1.73 acres Water used: 1,889,000 (If water were gasoline, Lewis could drive a 2011 Toyota Avalon 4,520 miles round-trip to Las Vegas 156 times.) Previous ranking: No. 13 in 2007, No. 36 in 2008, No. 26 in 2009 Annual bill: $9,299

From the tall pines and twisted oaks that cover this 1.73-acre slice of woods, it doesn’t appear that Walker is doing much cultivating or lawn watering. There are two mobile homes on the back of his lot, and a tiny house that was built in 1929, and is in bad need of a pressure washing. A vintage white Cadillac and an RV were parked in the carport of the house, but there were no lights on and nobody answered the door. Walker claims his homestead at a 24-lot mobile home park down the street. Even though he’s climbed the Water Hog ranking to the No. 2 spot this year (he’s been on the top 50 list for four out of five years), Walker doesn’t seem compelled to do anything about it. When Folio Weekly tried to call him, a woman answered the telephone. “He’s not interested. I’m sorry,” she said flatly, as if it were a sales call. “Have a nice day.”

Mohamed & Gracie Al Saleh, Campbell Avenue, Harbour Point

Market value of home: $1,033,175 Lot size: 1.03 acres Water used: 1,490,000 gallons (Enough water to give 14 gallons of water to each of Jacksonville’s 79,700 unemployed people.) Previous ranking: No. 3 in 2009, No. 26 in 2008 Annual bill: $7,152 Although the Salehs ranked No. 3 for the second consecutive year, they actually cut their water use in 2010 by 111,500 gallons. The Salehs live in a three-story, seven-bedroom, seven-bath manse with a swimming pool and three ornamental ponds. Dr. Saleh, a psychiatrist who specializes in addiction disorders and can be seen around town in one of his ad-plastered Hummers, has shown no inclination to rein in his liquid excesses. He’s begun producing his own private-label bottled water, which he calls “Pure Eritrean Water,” named after a small, drought-plagued African nation.

12 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 1-7, 2011

James T. Meyer, Queen’s Harbour Boulevard, Queen’s Harbor Yacht & Country Club

Market value of home: $1,701,001 Lot size: 1 acre Water used: 1,333,000 gallons (Roughly the same amount of rainfall that lands on a one-acre piece of land during a typical year in Jacksonville — 1,466,208 gallons — or about 54 inches.) Previous ranking: No. 22 in 2008, No. 40 in 2009 Annual bill: $6,632

Meyer’s four-bedroom, five-bath house approaches mansiony. Swaths of manicured yard, decorative clumps of tropical trees and sculpted bushes indicate the automatic lawn sprinklers get a thorough workout. Meyer did not respond to phone messages or a letter.

Mark & Laurie Shumer Gelman, Epping Forest Way South

Market value of home: $1,317,580 Lot size: .3 acres Water used: 1,314,000 gallons (If gallons were hits on the Internet search “Justin Bieber adorable genius,” the Gelmans consume the Google equivalent.) Annual bill: $6,206

Employment and entertainment attorney Mark Gelman telephoned Folio Weekly shortly after receiving our Water Hogs letter. Gelman says he and his wife are water-conscious consumers but, like our No. 1 Water Hog, experienced an underground pipe break. Thousands of gallons of water gushed into a city storm drain that empties into the St. Johns River. Gelman says Laurie Shumer missed the jump in their bill. “We should have noticed,” he admits. “But with three kids and a dog, she’s constantly running around.” Gelman asked to have his name removed from the Water Hog list because his usage was unintentional. “This is the first time we made the list,” he said, “and I hope our name is never on it again.”

Jeff Parker, River Road, San Marco

Market value of home: $3,252,161 Lot size: 1.13 acres Water used: 1,272,000 gallons (If gallons were dollars, Parker could have bought 1,819 lucky people a deluxe 64 GB iPad outfitted with wi-fi and 3G.) Previous ranking: No. 17 in 2009 Annual bill: $5,981

As the chairman and CEO of ParkerVision, Jeff Parker pulls down a salary and benefits package of more than $4.7 million a year, and he uses it to live in conspicuously grand style. His five-bedroom, six-bath honey-toned Mediterranean revival home was originally built in 1931 and sits on 1.13 riverfront acres in San Marco. The property includes two swimming pools and a tiered fountain. Every inch of the landscaping is surgically trimmed and artfully arranged. At least 17 tall palms grow in the front yard. Ringing the intercom got no response, nor did Parker answer our letter. At Parker’s company, where they make devices that transmit radio frequencies, an assistant said Parker was unavailable. MARCH 1-7, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 13

Jeanette Vann C. Holmes, Shipwatch Drive East

Market value of home: $906,174 Lot size: Not Available Water used: 1,255,000 gallons (If water were Bibles, Holmes could give three to every household in Jacksonville.) Previous ranking: No. 15 in 2007 & No. 35 in 2008, both for a home on Oak Landings Drive Annual bill: $5,889

Jeanette Vann Holmes is the first Water Hog to make it into the Top 15 at two different addresses. A letter addressed to her split-level, four-bedroom, three-bath home in Queen’s Harbour was returned with “no forwarding address” stamped on the envelope. The voicemail box at her home phone number was full. Holmes claims her homestead exemption at an Oak Landings Drive address, which has twice ranked in the Water Hogs Top 50. Holmes is the founder and pastor of Hope Chapel Christian Assembly Ministries. An employee at the church’s private school said she would pass Holmes a message, but she never responded.

Tim & Holly Finchem, 400 Ponte Vedra Boulevard, Ponte Vedra

Market value of home: $2,968,391 Lot size: Not Available Water used: 1,245,000 (Converted to pounds, that’s the equivalent of 1,511,000 golf balls.) Annual bill: $5,821 This is the first time that PGA Tour Commissioner Tim Finchem and his wife Holly have been Water Hogs, and they may not have actually used the 1.2 million gallons that JEA reports. Sure, they live in an expansive 7,914-square-foot home backed by a swimming pool and athletic courts, but they don’t seem to have all that much greenery. And JEA noted when it produced the Top 50 list that the Finchems’ meter reading was incorrect. Lots of people suspect JEA’s electronic and wireless meter reading adds gallons to their usage, and the utility admits that the Finchems’ meter reading and water use didn’t match up.

14 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 1-7, 2011

Charlie Farah, Glen Kernan Parkway East, Glen Kernan Golf & Country Club Market value of home: $1,650,172 Lot size: .75 acres Water used: 1,217,000 gallons (Enough water to supply daily drinking water to 4,111 golf and country clubbers for a year.) Annual bill: $5,684

After leaving a message with personal injury attorney Charlie Farah at the law offices of Farah & Farah, his brother Eddie promptly returned the call. When he realized we weren’t calling for him, he waxed about Folio Weekly’s Water Hogs issue. It makes people aware of just how much water we waste. “It’s just crazy!” he said. “That’s why that issue is so good.” He observed that some of his and Charlie’s neighbors in Glen Kernan Golf & Country Club have thumbed their noses at SJRWMD’s watering restrictions by digging wells. Then they can waste all the water they want for free. He said he’d find Charlie and tell him to call.

Bree Rene Ringhaver, Swilcan Bridge Lane North, Glen Kernan Golf & Country Club Market value of home: $725,405 Lot size: .53 acres Water used: 1,150,000 gallons (Enough to fill 20 boxcars on a midnight train to Georgia.) Annual bill: $5,324

A message at Ringhaver’s home went unreturned. Employees at the family business, Ring Power Corp., where she’s held positions of human resources executive and the vice president of credit management, said she doesn’t really come into the Jacksonville office. They didn’t know if she was even in the state.

Robert I. Lufrano, James Island Way, Estates of Deerwood

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For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. RUN DAT Market value of home: $1,227,405 LotFAX size:YOUR 5.2 acres PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 Water used: 1,142,000 gallons (Enough water to churn through 57,097 OF loads of wash in an energyPROMISE BENEFIT SUPPORT ASK FOR ACTION Produced by jw Ch efficient machine.) Previous ranking: No. 15 in 2009 Annual bill: $4,910 As the president and chief operating officer of Blue Cross Blue Shield of Florida, Lufrano oversaw mass employee layoffs in recent years. If only he applied the same penny-pinching to his water consumption. The water use at his sevenbedroom, six-bath home increased by 32,000 gallons in 2010, and his Water Hog ranking rose from 15th to 11th. Lufrano’s property is the size of five football fields. If Lufrano cut his water use by 50 percent, he’d conserve 571,000 gallons a year.

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WATER HOGS: THE REST OF THE TOP 50

16. Eric M. Gabriel (No. 2 in 2009) 1,036,000 gallons, Ortega Boulevard South 17. William P. Foley 1,011,000 gallons, Ponte Vedra Boulevard 18. David Garrard 992,000 gallons, Royal Troon Lane 19. Rex Guneratine 972,000 gallons, Hawks Trace Drive (Called to explain he’s watering an ornamental garden planted by his late wife Bernadette.) 20. Frank Robinson 967,000 gallons, Ponte Vedra Boulevard 21. J.E. Jackson 966,000 gallons, Hollyridge Road 22. Kevin Jaques Klempf 966,000 gallons, Ponte Vedra Boulevard 23. Lawrence S. Goldberg 962,000 gallons, Forest Circle (JEA adjusted bill because of plumbing) 24. Timothy E. & Stephanie Seran Fee 959,000 gallons, Swilcan Bridge Lane North 25. Julie C. Shumer 946,000 gallons, South Ponte Vedra Boulevard 26. Narcisco Tauler 939,000 gallons, Dover Hill Drive (Called to say he fired his lawn guy

because a slew of broken sprinkler heads were shooting water) 27. Michael Woodward 933,000 gallons, Muirfield Boulevard South 28. J.F. Sessions 922,000 gallons, Woodgrove Road 29. Linda J. Quirk 921,000 gallons, Glen Kernan Parkway East 30. Charles W. Alford 906,000 gallons, Hunters Grove Road 31. Shepherd E. Colledge 896,000, Ortega Boulevard (Called to explain he’s spent $4,000 to replace a faulty irrigation system, utilizes xeriscaping, likes native plants and supports the St. Johns Riverkeeper) 32. Glen A. Howard 894,000 gallons, Swilcan Bridge Lane North 33. James M. Mussallem 892,000 gallons, Clifton Avenue 34. John M. Assi, M.D. 892,000 gallons, Cathedral Oaks Place North 35. D. Nasrullah 891,000 gallons, Swilcan Bridge Lane North 36. Paul A. Demshar 890,000 gallons, Mission Hills Circle North 37. Mindy Thea Whaley 881,000 gallons, Longs Landing Road West

(JEA adjusted bill for plumbing statement and meter correction) 38. Michele Gelo 878,000 gallons, West Seneca Drive 39. Donald Kohla 877,000 gallons, Ponte Vedra Boulevard 40. Lisa M. Wolff 877,000 gallons, Harrington Park Drive 41. Christopher Roberts 875,000 gallons, Glen Kernan Parkway East 42. Eric Reese 872,000 gallons, St. Johns Golf Drive 43. Maria Valente 870,000 gallons, Wexford Club Drive East 44. Benjamin M. Carter 867,000 gallons, Ponte Vedra Boulevard 45. Sue Trednick 866,000 gallons, Sabal Oak Lane 46. Katherine Chasteen 861,000 gallons, Ponte Vedra Boulevard 47. Todd S. Keller 860,000 gallons, Bishop Estates Road 48. John P. Clarkson 857,000 gallons, Ortega Forest Drive 49. William T. Stinson 850,000 gallons, Pirate Court 50. Justin R. Durant 830,000 gallons, Mount Ranier Drive

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MARCH 1-7, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 15

Jack L. Del Rio Jr., Glen Kernan Parkway East, Glen Kernan Golf & Country Club

Market value of home: $1,860,315 Lot size: .61 acres Water used: 1,099,000 gallons (Enough Gatorade for Del Rio to quench the thirst of the entire NFL for 177 seasons.) Previous ranking: No. 5 in 2007, No. 25 in 2008 Annual bill: $5,039 This is the third time that Jaguars coach Jack Del Rio has been associating with Hogs. Still, he’s cut his usage dramatically. Even though he’s in the Top 15, Del Rio has curbed consumption at his three-story, four-bedroom, three-bath home by 662,000 gallons from what he used in 2007. The Jaguars press office said Del Rio wouldn’t be commenting on his water habits, adding that he was out scouting players.

Angelo & Lani Ferrer, Wakeview Drive, Orange Park

Market value of home: $203,936 Lot size: .35 acre Water used: 1,039,000 gallons (If water were beer, the Ferrers would have a stockpile of 67,029 kegs and the makings of one heck of a block party.) Annual bill: $4,726 This is the first time the Ferrers have been in the Top 50. Like other Water Hogs, maybe they have a leak in their irrigation system. Just a single outdoor faucet dripping at the rate of 60 drops a minute will use 192 gallons of water in a month. That’s 2,304 gallons in a year. However, a letter to Angelo Ferrer was returned “undeliverable.”

Kenneth A. Horn, Beauclerc Road, San Jose

Market value of home: $396,515 Lot size: .91 acre Water used: 1,032,000 gallons (Translated into cubic feet, that’s the size of 141 Mini Coopers nestled together.) Annual bill: $4,689

Paula Horn answered the phone at her San Jose home. “We had a broken pipe,” she said. “I’m sorry. That’s life. What can you do?” Still, that’s an awful lot of water wasted. In order to lose 985,000 gallons in a year, the Horns’ broken pipe leak would have to be spouting enough to fill an eight-ounce cup every two seconds.

Randle & Jodie Marchman, Woodmere Drive, Lakeside Park

Market value of home: $1,820,359 Lot size: 1.2 acres Water used: 1,058,000 gallons (Enough for six families of six to use an old-fashioned high-volume toilet three times a day for the next seven years.) Previous ranking: No. 25 in 2008, No. 36 in 2009 Annual bill: $4,828

Randle Marchman answered the door of his spacious Lakeside home holding a bottle of red wine and a crystal balloon wine goblet, and trailed by the smell of grilled steak. After listening to an explanation of the Water Hog issue, Marchman responded, “That’s nice. I’m just about to sit down to dinner” and closed the door. The Marchmans’ six-bedroom, five-bath home on the St. Johns River includes a pool and a spa and sits on 1.2 acres of neatly trimmed and molded landscaping grouped around a circular driveway. They consumed 157,896 gallons more water in 2010 than in 2009.

• INSTALL efficient toilets and showerheads. • CHECK for leaks. An easy way to see if you have a problem: Check your meter, don’t use any water in the house, and check it again after a couple of hours. If the reading is different, you likely have a leak. • WASH your car and your dog on your lawn. • COLLECT rainwater in a bucket or drum and use it to water plants. • SHOWER with a bucket, and use the water you collect to water plants. • TRY XERISCAPING. Replace your thirsty grass (St. Augustine grass is one of the worst) and waterguzzling plants with drought-proof grasses and plants.

16 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 1-7, 2011

Websites with information on native and droughttolerant landscaping:

affn.org

Association of Florida Native Nurseries

floridayards.org

A project of the Florida Springs Initiative of FDEP

floridawaters.com/ waterwiselandscape

St. Johns River Water Management District

solutionsforyourlife. ufl.edu

University of Florida IFAS Extension service has tons of information and contacts for local county extension offices.

Robert Snodgrass

Moss Creek Drive, Queen’s Harbour Yacht & Country Club 2009 ranking: No. 9 Water used this Water Hogs Cycle: \ 745,000 gallons Difference: –479,000 gallons Snodgrass also appeared on our list in 2007. That year, he used 1,739,000 gallons, which earned him the No. 4 spot.

James K. Lindsey

Alvin Road, Jacksonville Heights Eric & Kristen Gabriel 2009 ranking: No. 10 Ortega Boulevard South, Ortega Water used this Water 2009 ranking: No. 2 (No. 26 in 2007) Hogs Cycle: Water used this Water Hogs Cycle: 739,024 gallons 1,036,000 gallons (No. 16) Difference: Difference: –622,000 gallons –479,976 gallons Kristen Gabriel, whose husband Eric is a neurosurgeon with offices Lindsey has six mobile home in the Riverside area, blamed the family’s water use on Jack Del lots he owns on Alvin Road, Rio. The couple bought their Ortega home in 2006 from the Jaguars all hooked to one meter, as he coach. “The problem is the swimming pool,” she said. “It’s sinking.” told Folio Weekly last Cycle. When the pipes sprang a leak, it took a while to ferret out Lavina & William Adkins the cause. (JEA gave other Longs Landing Road West, Queen’s customers who fixed leaks a credit on their bills, Harbour Yacht & Country Club but they refused Lindsey.) 2009 ranking: No. 1 Erica & Brian Fowler Water used this Water Hogs Cycle: Courtyards Place West, Deerwood 278,000 gallons 2009 ranking: No. 11 Difference: –1,445,000 gallons Water used this Water Hogs Cycle: The owners disconnected utility service at the 501,000 gallons Queen’s Harbour home in April 2010. Difference: –632,0000 gallons

Mohammed & Gracie Al Saleh

Campbell Avenue 2009 ranking: No. 3 Water used this Water Hogs Cycle: 1,489,000 (No. 3) Difference: –112,000

Carine Deocampo

Crest Drive North, Westgate 2009 ranking: No. 4 Water used this Water Hogs Cycle: 469,872 gallons Difference: –1,038,000 gallons

Betty & Roger O’Steen

Bentpine Cove Road, San Pablo 2009 ranking: No. 5 Water used this Water Hogs Cycle: 68,000 gallons Difference: –1,219,000 gallons Roger O’Steen (of the PARC Group, involved in developing Nocatee) told Folio Weekly last year that they’d watered magnolias, oaks and other trees they’d planted on this vacant lot.

Becky & Taliaferro Livingston

Springwood Lane, Fernandina Beach 2009 ranking: No. 7 Water used this Water Hogs Cycle: 526,000 gallons Difference: –719,000 gallons

Narlene & Vaughn McLaughlin

Victory Lake Drive, Emily’s Walk 2009 Ranking: No. 8 Water used this Water Hogs Cycle: 590,000 gallons Difference: –650,300 gallons The McLaughlins weren’t even in the Top 50 this year, but JEA didn’t provide the figures for their November 2009 and January 2010 water consumption, so the figure is incomplete for 2010.

Beverly S. Mona

OTHER HOGS OF NOTE: David & Mary Garrard

Royal Troon Lane 2009 ranking: No. 29 Water used this Water Hogs Cycle: 991,945 gallons (No. 18) Difference: +52,000 gallons Jacksonville Jaguars quarterback Garrard has never made it to the Top 15 Water Hogs, but he’s been in the Top 50 twice — and he actually answered his home phone! Garrard says his water use should have decreased, not increased in 2010. The Garrards put in a new lawn in the summer of 2009 and were watering frequently. Asked how often he runs the sprinklers now, Garrard said, “It’s winter. We don’t water it.” Then he added, “I’m not really going to go through an interview. But, thank you now. Good night.”

Shepherd E. Colledge

Ortega Boulevard, Ortega 2007 ranking: No. 6 Water used this Water Hogs Cycle: 896,000 gallons (No. 16) Difference: –726,000 After receiving a letter, Shepherd Colledge telephoned immediately. On paper, he looks like a flagrant water abuser, but that’s because it’s taken him years, literally, to figure out where the water is going. A work crew installing a new irrigation system incorporated some of the old, leaky pipes into the new design. Eventually, Colledge had to tear up and replace the whole thing. Next year, he promises, he’ll be off the list.

Riverplace Court, Riverplace 2009 ranking: No. 12 Water used this Water Hogs Cycle: 564,000 gallons Difference: –592,000 gallons

Stephen & Amy Cochran

Glen Kern Parkway, Glen Kernan Yacht and Country Club 2009 ranking: No. 13 Water used this Water Hogs Cycle: 757,000 gallons Difference: –384,000 gallons

Harry G. Madden

Bishop Estates Road, Julington Creek 2009 ranking: No. 14 Water used this Water Hogs Cycle: 789,000 gallons Difference: –346,000 gallons

Robert Lufrano

James Island Way, Estates of Deerwood 2009 ranking: No. 15 Water used this Water Hogs Cycle: 1,142,000 gallons (No. 11) Difference: +33,000 gallons

William P. Foley III

Ponte Vedra Boulevard 2008 ranking: No. 34 Water used this Water Hogs Cycle: 1,011,000 gallons (No. 17) Difference: –16,000 gallons William P. Foley and his wife Carol have never been in the Top 15 Water Hogs, even though they used more than 1,001,000 gallons at their luxurious Ponte Vedra home in 2010. Foley is the chairman of the board of National Financial Inc. and earns more than $22 million annually in compensation and stock options. He also owns his own winery. Foley’s assistant, Tracey Walker, said Foley didn’t realize how much water he was using until he received a letter in December from Folio Weekly, because his bookkeeper handles his bills, but is eager to conserve. Walker said Foley wanted to do anything he could, including calling JEA for a water audit and consulting about Florida Friendly landscaping. MARCH 1-7, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 17

18 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 1-7, 2011

Reasons to leave the house this week FOODIE FEST BITE CLUB

Folio Weekly’s Bite Club aims to broaden Northeast Florida’s culinary conversations via restaurant outings, meetups and an opportunity to blog about the experiences afterwards. Hosted by resident dining expert Caron Streibich, Bite Club offers free tastings to registered Bite Club members, selected for each event by answering essential foodie trivia. The next event is held on Tuesday, March 8 at 6:30 p.m. at Augustine Grille, at Sawgrass Marriott, 1000 PGA Tour Blvd., Ponte Vedra Beach. 285-7777. To sign up for it or future tastings, or just to learn what Bite Club’s all about, check out fwbiteclub.com.

CLASSIC ROCKER JOHN MELLENCAMP

COMEDY GEORGE LOPEZ AND ROB SCHNEIDER

Local lovers of laughter need look no longer nor further! Grammy nominee and ABC sitcom star George Lopez (pictured) performs on Friday, March 4 at 8 p.m. at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. Tickets are $46.50 and $65.50. 355-2787. Onetime “SNL” alum and star of the putridly dumb yet still fun “Deuce Bigalow” flicks Rob Schneider appears at 8 and 10 p.m. on Friday, March 4 and Saturday, March 5 at The Comedy Zone, in the Ramada Inn, 3130 Hartley Road, Jacksonville. Tickets for each show are $30 and $35. 292-4242.

HEY LADIES! WOMEN’S HISTORY PROJECT

What can you say about a musician who’s been nominated for 13 Grammys, helped organize Farm Aid, made people address him as “Cougar” and was actually married to the same supermodel for nearly 20 years? Heartland rocker John Mellencamp & Band bring their “No Better Than This” tour to town on Saturday, March 5 at 7 p.m. at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $45.50-$129. 633-6110.

Flagler College hosts Women’s History Project March 8-April 27 to honor women’s achievements in American history, politics, culture, athletics and arts. Award-winning film producer and director Louise Vance screens her critically acclaimed film “Seneca Falls” on Tuesday, March 8 at 7 p.m. at Gamache-Koger Theater Auditorium, Ringhaver Student Center, 50 Sevilla St. The film follows nine young women as they travel to the birthplace of women’s rights in America. Future speakers include Olympic gold medalist Nancy Hogshead-Makar on March 21 and novelist Connie May Fowler on April 7. 829-6481. For a full schedule of events, go to flagler.edu/WHP

SKA-BOOM! SLIGHTY STOOPID AND FISHBONE

Local music heads can catch two acclaimed bands that are the crème de la jàm of the punkrock-ska-dub-diaspora (yeah, we made that up — deal with it) when Slightly Stoopid and Fishbone perform on Saturday, March 5 at 7 p.m. at Plush, 845 University Blvd. N., Jacksonville. Sublime’s late frontman Brad Nowell discovered Slightly Stoopid (pictured) in Ocean Beach, Calif., in the mid-’90s and signed them to his own label. Formed up the coast in 1979, the mighty Fishbone have traveled the ecstatic highs and crushing lows of being a truly innovative band, one that influenced bands from Red Hot Chili Peppers to Jane’s Addiction. Tickets are $27.50. 743-1845.

sure pick

SATURDAY, MARCH 5

ÜBER DIVA DIANA ROSS

Motown maven, disco devotee and (let’s face it) sometime celebrity sideshow Diana Ross performs on Friday, March 4 at 8 p.m. at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. In the past five decades, Ross has had a whopping 18 No. 1 albums on the charts, and was nominated for Best Actress for her portrayal of jazz pioneer Billie Holiday in 1972’s “Lady Sings the Blues.” And all this without having to slap on a Meat Dress! Tickets range from $58-$128. 633-6110.

RAM OPENS!

The Riverside Arts Market reopens on Saturday, March 5 from 11 a.m.-4 p.m., held under the Fuller Warren Bridge at Riverside Avenue, Jacksonville. Now in its third year, the weekly event features artists, a variety of vittles, street performers, jugglers and a fresh local produce market. Live music by Al Poindexter & River Rise is featured at 10:30 a.m.; Grandpa’s Cough Medicine at 11:45 a.m. and Shawn Lightfoot & the Brigade at 2:30 p.m. 554-6865. MARCH 1-7, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 19

Best Wine List

Diane Kruger and Liam Neeson are gripped by a lethal case of mistaken identity in “Unknown.”

A Night in Amnesia

Liam Neeson stars in the unoriginal but entertaining Euro-action yarn “Unknown” Unknown **G@

Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach

20 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 1-7, 2011

mericans on the loose in a bustling European capital? Check. A wronged man on a mission to save a woman and give the bad guys their comeuppance? Check. Star vehicle for Liam Neeson, once known for his passionate dramatic performances, now a tough guy in action-hero mode? A one-word, fairly generic title? Entertaining but forgettable? Check, check and check. Despite the surface similarities, “Unknown” and 2008’s “Taken” aren’t really cinematic twins; the latter was largely a revenge fantasy. The new film aspires to be something on the order of a Hitchcock-style mystery, or a cinematic thrill ride ala one of the “Bourne” movies, or even a hint of “Total Recall.” But not so fast. “Unknown,” far less than the sum of its origins, is a wannabe thriller marred by half-baked performances and an over-baked script that isn’t nearly as clever as it thinks it is. Yet while “Unknown” is all paint-by-numbers action, it still warrants a viewing by diehard fans of the genre. Neeson, easily the big screen’s most humorless leading man, is Dr. Martin Harris, an academic slated to participate in a high-power biotech conference in Berlin. There, on a snowy, nasty, icy day, he leaves his wife, Elizabeth (January Jones, suitably sleek and blonde) at the front desk of their luxury hotel, to retrieve a briefcase accidentally left behind at the airport. He hails a cab, and subsequently experiences a serious car accident, a plunge into a river, a bump on the head and a dazed-and-confused awakening in a hospital bed after being unconscious for four days. Even worse, Martin, sans his passport or any other ID, can’t convince anyone that he is who he says he is. Back at the hotel, he discovers that his wife, inexplicably, is married to a man who calls himself Dr. Martin Harris (Aidan Quinn, perfectly nondescript), and the guy seems to be unusually fluent in the “real” Martin’s

academic discipline. When the hotel’s security staff tries to solve the mystery, they find the other guy’s picture next to the professor’s name on his college’s website. Every tough guy needs a sexy sidekick, and Martin finds one in his cabdriver, Gina (Diane Kruger), an illegal immigrant from Bosnia with a horrifying back-story. A stranger in a strange land, the harried Doc needs a locally based investigator, so Martin turns to Ernst Jurgen (Bruno Ganz), an aging detective with something of a creepy East German past. His incredulity at Martin’s story is an inadvertent stand-in for the audience’s questioning of the story’s absurd contrivances. “These people may be good,” Ernst says, “but they are not God.” The same could be said of screenwriters Stephen Cornwell and Oliver Butcher. Gina nevertheless opts to abet Martin in his quest to discover the truth, a task that entails some impressively staged car chases resulting in several wrecked Mercedes, an ever-increasing pile of dead bodies, a cat-and-mouse game with a killer and a climactic confrontation. Yes, there are huge gaps in the tale’s logic — starting with: How hard could it be to verify the identity of an academic scheduled to speak at a major international event? Director Jaume Collet-Serra (“Orphan”) does a respectable job of following Martin’s attempts to resolve his whopper of an identity crisis, as he faces a series of relentless killers and encounters several unfortunately outlandish revelations. There’s a subplot about the development of a kind of super-corn, a crop that easily grows in every type of climate which will, when made available for distribution, go a long way in taking care of hunger crises worldwide. For that to happen, the baddies in this movie must be defeated. And by doing so, Martin could effectively save the world. Throughout, Collet-Serra does win points by giving “Unknown” an effectively icy feel, bathing it in colors of blue and grey. Add to that atmosphere a menacing Frank Langella as a supposed friend of Martin’s, a humongous explosion and a little Cold War nostalgia, and you have a decent flick. Not bad for a film released in February, once a dumping ground for sub-par commercial cinema. Philip Booth themail@folioweekly.com

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In Ancient Rome, countless legions lost their lives during vicious Peek-A-Boo matches, as seen in “The Eagle.”

Bird is the Word

Historical thriller “The Eagle” is an enjoyable telling of an Ancient Roman military mystery The Eagle ***@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

or whatever reason, there seems to be a revival underway of sword-and-sandal flicks. The 2005-’06 TV miniseries “Rome” was a popular and critical success, as are the ongoing episodes of “Spartacus: Blood and Sand.” Wolfgang Petersen’s “Troy” (with Brad Pitt as Achilles) hit the right chord with audiences, and the remake of “Clash of the Titans” was a moderate success. Later this year, we can expect “Immortals,” the story of Theseus and the Titans, from wunderkind director Tarsem Singh (“The Cell,” “The Fall”). Meanwhile, we can indulge our cravings for all things specifically Roman with “The Eagle,” directed by Kevin Macdonald (“The Last King of Scotland”). Based on Rosemary Sutcliff ’s novel, itself inspired by one of the more fascinating mysteries in classical Roman history, the story is about the legendary Ninth Legion of Rome, a force of 5,000 soldiers that disappeared some time in 2nd-century A.D. while on deployment in the hinterlands of Scotland. Two other films within the past five years have dealt with the subject from radically different perspectives — “The Last Legion” (2007) which tied the Ninth with the mythic King Arthur, and “Centurion” (2010), a far more graphic and realistic depiction of what might have happened to the doomed legionnaires. “The Eagle” opens some 20 years after the disappearance of the Ninth. Marcus Aquila (Channing Tatum), taking up his first command at a fairly remote outpost in Britain, is determined to restore the honor and integrity to his family name, tarnished by the loss of the Ninth Legion and its troop standard, the golden eagle. Aquila’s father was in command at the time, and his son is plagued by the fear that his beloved father was unworthy of his trust. After saving his own command from a rebel attack (one of the film’s highlights), the seriously injured Marcus is sent to recover at the home of his uncle (Donald Sutherland). There he befriends a young Briton slave, Esca

(Jamie Bell). Relieved of his command because of his injuries, Aquila decides to travel with Esca into hostile territories on the other side of Hadrian’s Wall, where he hopes to discover the truth about his father’s Legion, and perhaps even recover the eagle standard. From this point on, the movie plays like an archetypal Western in the mold of John Ford’s “The Searchers.” Substitute swords for six-shooters and savage Britons for American Indians, and you get the general idea of where “The Eagle” is headed. The comparison is not meant as criticism, merely a nod to a familiar narrative trope as well as a recurrent mythic theme. A curious anomaly in this regard is that the film’s screenwriter (Jeremy Brock) and director Macdonald are both British, while stars Tatum and Sutherland are American. Bell is English, but his pairing with Tatum is similar to the white man/Indian buddy stereotype that underlies the American myth, even in “The Searchers,” where Jeffrey Hunter played a half-breed to John Wayne’s allAmerican Ethan Edwards. Tatum is fine as the rugged, taciturn Roman soldier. Jamie Bell (“Billy Elliot,” “Defiance”) is probably the better actor, but his slight build (compared to Tatum) is a bit off-putting at first, particularly in the action sequences. But this is a minor quibble. Anthony Dod Mantle, who won an Oscar for his cinematography in “Slumdog Millionaire,” makes the most of impressive location sites in Scotland and Hungary, and director Macdonald nicely blends the film’s action sequences with the more pervasive dramatic elements about the growing bond between slave and master. The battles scenes are effective, the graphic violence muted for a PG-13 rating, but I do wish Macdonald hadn’t been so enamored of trying to catch the flow of the action with sweeping, jerky camera movements. It might be more realistic, but it can also be confusing. All in all, “The Eagle” is a worthy addition to the various depeictions of legends about the missing Ninth Legion, and a welcome return to an ageless time of history, cinematic and otherwise.

Pat McLeod themail@folioweekly.com MARCH 1-7, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 21

FILM RATINGS **** ACID ROCK ***@ ACID WASHED **@@ ACID REFLUX *@@@ ACID RAIN

NOW SHOWING

BARNEY’S VERSION **G@ Rated R • Pot Belly’s, Regal Beach Winning adaptation of Mordecai Richler’s novel about the irascible womanizer Barney Panofsky (Paul Giamatti) as he faces Alzheimer’s. Co-starring Dustin Hoffman and Rosamund Pike. BIG MOMMAS: LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON **@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach This comedy marks the long-awaited return of Martin Lawrence to the silver screen as an FBI agent who dresses up like an overweight, meddling granny. Damn! BLACK SWAN Rated R • Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Director Darren Aronofsky’s disturbing psychological thriller stars Natalie Portman as a sheltered ballerina who steps into her darker side during a production of “Swan Lake.” ***@

CASINO JACK **G@ Rated R • Regal Beach Kevin Spacey plays DC lobbyist Jack Abramoff in this bio-pic crime drama that’s also oddly funny. Jon Lovitz co-stars … yeah, that’s the ticket. THE COMPANY MEN **G@ Rated R • AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Regal Avenues Tommy Lee Jones, Kevin Costner, Chris Cooper and Ben Affleck are a group of wealthy execs who go from corner offices to the street corner after a round of corporate downsizing. DRIVE ANGRY 3D **@@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Nicolas Cage stars as a father seeking revenge for the death of his daughter in this thriller from director Patrick Lussier.

THE EAGLE Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Reviewed in this issue. ***@

FROM PRADA TO NADA *G@@ Rated PG-13 • Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Camilla Belle and Alexa Vega star in this mediocre Latina take on “Sense and Sensibility.” GNOMEO & JULIET ***@ Rated G • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach This cute animated retelling of Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet,” set in a land of garden gnomes, is an inventive and lighthearted way to hip the kids to one of the Bard’s beloved works. THE GRACE CARD **@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues Michael Joiner stars in this faith-based story of an embittered police officer who attempts to find peace after a personal tragedy. THE GREEN HORNET *@@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Regal Avenues Somebody call an exterminator! So begins the inevitable “Seth Rogen Backlash” with this dull, unoriginal superhero flick that never takes off. HALL PASS **@@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Owen Wilson stars in the latest comedy from the Farrelly Brothers about a man whose wife gives him a chance to have an extramarital affair. The only problem? She plans on honoring the same freebie and get some newbie strange.

22 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 1-7, 2011

I AM NUMBER FOUR *G@@ Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency

“While I am fascinated by your views on Emile Durkheim, I simply don’t see any corollary to Oswald Spengler’s work. Hey, did that dog just fart?!” Adam Sandler and Brooklyn Decker discuss lofty concepts in the rom-com “Just Go With It.” Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Silly teenybopper sci-fi flick about an alien on the lam who hides out in an American high school. Gnarly, dude! JUST GO WITH IT Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach This rom-com, starring Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston, is about a plastic surgeon who gets his office manager to pose as his disgruntled, soon-to-be-ex-wife in a bid to pick up sympathetic women. Co-starring Kevin Nealon, Rachel Dratch, Dave Matthews, Minka Kelly and Nicole Kidman. Waitaminute … Dave Matthews? **G@

JUSTIN BIEBER: NEVER SAY NEVER Rated G • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach OMG!! A surprisingly fun film about commerce and celebrity in the age of information overload.

**@@

THE KING’S SPEECH Rated R • Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Pot Belly’s, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach, San Marco Theatre Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush deliver Oscar-worthy performances in this uplifting based-on-real-life tale.

****

THE MECHANIC Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square This needless remake of the 1972 Charles Bronson action flick stars Jason Statham and Ben Foster as two hitmen is damaged beyond repair.

G@@@

NO STRINGS ATTACHED Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Regal Avenues Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher star in director Ivan Reitman’s wickedly funny, raunchy rom-com about a couple learning that being “friends with benefits” is harder than it looks. ***@

THE RITE Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square Though we wonder what possessed Anthony Hopkins to star in this supernatural thriller, he rises to the occasion in the story about exorcism in contemporary times.

***@

THE ROOMMATE Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach College gal Sara (Minka Kelly) discovers she has the roommate from hell in the form of the psycho Rebecca (Leighton Meester).

**G@

SANCTUM **G@ Rated R • AMC Regency Square, Cinemark Tinseltown, IMAX Theatre Producer James Cameron’s latest big-budget action flick about a group of adventurers trapped in an underground cave system is a little shallow on story but thrill seekers will still want to take the plunge. TRUE GRIT **** Rated PG-13 • AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach The Coen Brothers’ film revives an epic Western story of family justice. UNKNOWN Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Reviewed in this issue. **G@

OTHER FILMS

5 POINTS THEATRE “Biutiful” screens at 4:30 p.m. on March 1 and 2, at 7:15 p.m. on March 3 at 5 Points Theatre, 1028 Park St., Jacksonville. “The Illusionist” shows at 7:15 p.m. on March 1 and 2, at 5:30 p.m. on March 3. “The Social Network” is at 9 p.m. on March 1 and 2. 359-0047. POT BELLY’S CINEMA “The Social Network,” “The King’s Speech,” “Barney’s Version” and “The Fighter” are shown at Pot Belly’s, 36 Granada St., St. Augustine. 829-3101. WGHOF IMAX THEATER “Sanctum 3D” is screened along with “Sea Monsters,” at World Golf Hall of Fame Village, 1 World Golf Place, Exit 323 off I-95, St. Augustine. 940-IMAX. worldgolfimax.com

NEW ON DVD & BLU-RAY

DUE DATE Robert Downey Jr. and Zach Galifinakis star in this comedy about an expectant father on the road trip from hell with a goofy sidekick as the pair race across the country to see Pop’s firstborn delivered. GET LOW Robert Duvall, Sissy Spacek and Bill Murray star in this true-life story about an old hermit who comes down from the rural Tennessee hills to throw his own funeral party, while he’s still on this side of the boneyard. MEGAMIND After the villainous Megamind (Will Ferrell) finally vanquishes goody-two-shoes superhero Metro Man (Brad Pitt), he discovers their ongoing rivalry was all he had to live for! Fun animated fare co-starring the voices of Tina Fey and Jonah Hill. THE DOUBLE LIFE OF VÈRONIQUE This trippy 1991 Polish import, about two women who seem to lead parallel, interconnected lives, is now out on Blu-ray.

AREA THEATERS AMELIA ISLAND Carmike Amelia Island 7, 1132 S. 14th St., 261-9867 ARLINGTON & REGENCY AMC Regency 24, 9451 Regency Square Blvd., 264-3888 BAYMEADOWS & MANDARIN Regal Avenues 20, 9525 Philips Highway, 538-3889 BEACHES Regal Beach Blvd. 18, 14051 Beach Blvd., 992-4398 FIVE POINTS 5 Points Theatre, 1028 Park St., 359-0047 NORTHSIDE Hollywood River City 14, River City Marketplace, 12884 City Center Blvd., 757-9880

ORANGE PARK AMC Orange Park 24, 1910 Wells Road, (888) AMC-4FUN Carmike Fleming Island 12, 1820 Town Center Blvd., 621-0221 SAN MARCO San Marco Theatre, 1996 San Marco Blvd., 396-4845 SOUTHSIDE Cinemark Tinseltown, 4535 Southside Blvd., 998-2122 ST. AUGUSTINE Epic Theatres, 112 Theatre Drive, 797-5757 IMAX Theater, World Golf Village, 940-IMAX Pot Belly’s, 36 Granada St., 829-3101

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Tongue Teaser: Garage rocker Ty Segall.

Violent Execution

Contemporary garage rocker Ty Segall mixes melodic and sonic chaos TY SEGALL with ALLIGATOR and THE COUGS Wednesday, March 2 at 9 p.m. Ring of Fire Honky Tonk, 113 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine Tickets are $8 460-2641

fter 50 years of evolution, modern garage rock comes in many shapes and sizes. There’s popinfluenced girl groups, lo-fi fuzz aficionados, blues-based head-stompers, psychedelic acid noodlers and every sub-niche in between. That makes 24-year-old Ty Segall a refreshing change of pace, as his far-flung sound hits everything from rockabilly to proto-punk to catchy pianoand flute-tinged classic rock. Plus, the San Francisco fixture is a hardworking yet amiable guy, a lifelong laid-back surfer who has still found time to pump out four self-recorded fulllengths over the last few years. Segall, who brings his show to Anastasia Island this week, recently chatted with Folio Weekly about his one-man-band roots, his focus on the shape of his songs and his first visit to the Sunshine State.

Folio Weekly: People automatically lump you in with the garage rock crowd, but your songs show more breadth than your more psychedelic peers. What influences do you claim? Ty Segall: My influences are all over the place. I’ve always been super into punk, but I like everything that has happened in the ’50s, ’60s, ’70s, ’80s with rock ‘n’ roll, soul, noise, punk … all that stuff. Lately, I’m more into psychedelic music, weirder stuff like Michael Yonkers or Red Krayola. But it’s totally all over the board. F.W.: You performed strictly as a one-man band for a while. Was that out of necessity, or simply to hone your live show? T.S.: It was really out of necessity. I didn’t particularly have an extreme admiration toward it; it’s actually really intense and makes you stress more. You have to really work for the show, and you can’t be lazy, which means that now it’s fun to play with a full band. F.W.: A lot of people give you credit for injecting some much-needed melody into your otherwise lo-fi jams. How important is production value versus songcraft, and how deliberate is the sloppiness inherent in your music? T.S.: Well, I handle all the production — I’m back behind the board a lot, making sure the sound of each record is just as important as the tunes. I also record all the instruments myself but have a regular lineup that tours with me. So yeah, everything we do is pretty much intentional.

F.W.: You’re an integral part of the San Francisco scene, but you actually grew up in Southern California. How did that region’s surf culture affect your musical upbringing? T.S.: In Southern California, surf culture is way more a part of everyday life, especially with music. Like, one of my friend’s dad knew the drummer for The Surfaris, who did “Wipeout.” I grew up in Laguna Beach, which is a huge surfing spot where Bruce Brown filmed a lot of his early movies and Timothy Leary’s crew hung out in the late ’60s. There’s all these weird acid-burner, old-dude artists mixed in with the rich, right-wing business heads that just moved down to Laguna because it’s beautiful and lush and affluent. So it was weird for me growing up there: You had a police force and school administration controlled by the moneyed conservative folks, but then you had burner dudes at the beach telling you all these weird stories about how the ’50s, ’60s and ’70s were like paradise for an artist.

F.W.: Sounds like Laguna might have more in common with San Francisco. Do you like it better in NoCal? T.S.: Yeah, but I didn’t even really get that until I left and came back. And I’m gonna stick around SF for a while. We’re the luckiest — it’s such a small city, but everybody’s playing in good bands, influencing and pushing each other. F.W.: And your own success is skyrocketing lately — 2010’s “Melted” garnered heaps of solid reviews, you’ve got another album coming out in June and now you’re on a massive nationwide tour. T.S.: Yes sir, I’m a very lucky guy, although not in a ridiculously affluent manner. But that doesn’t matter to me as long as I can pay my rent. I never thought that any of this stuff would happen — all I wanted to do was put out a record. Everything else is gravy.

F.W.: So, it’s your first trip to Florida, with a mix of opening gigs, headlining performances and, of course, the Bruise Cruise out of Miami with Black Lips and Vivian Girls. What are you looking forward to? T.S.: I’ve never toured in Florida before, and as a total beach and ocean dude, I’m very excited because I’ve heard it’s like the Southern California of the South. And the Bruise Cruise is gonna be great — honestly, I’m just stoked to go on a cruise. It’s an awesome opportunity to do something weird, and we’re always down to do something weird and strange and fun. Nick McGregor themail@folioweekly.com MARCH 1-7, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 23

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Line it up: Grace Potter & The Nocturnals.

Soul Power

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GRACE POTTER & the NOCTURNALS with ons, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. RUN DATE: 030111 JONATHAN TYLER & the NORTHERN LIGHTS PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 Thursday, March 3 at 8 p.m.

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The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville Sales Rep dl Tickets are $20 and $25 355-2787

t’s kinda hard not to love Grace Potter. She’s sultry, has a crazy set of pipes and is backed by a trio of ’70s-styled, long-haired dudes (Scott Tournet on lead guitar, Matthew Burr on drums and Benny Yurco on rhythm guitar) plus rocker Catherine Popper on bass (formerly of Ryan Adams & the Cardinals). Today, Grace Potter & the Nocturnals are the blues-soul-rock darlings of Nashville, admittedly a town known more for © 2010 folioweekly Reba than Aretha. Led by songwriter Potter, a vocalist/multi-instrumentalist from Vermont who’s been compared to Tina Turner, the group collectively takes late-’60s and early-’70s rock-androll to sexy new levels. In support of the band’s summer 2010 self-titled release, they’ll be making a stop at The Florida Theatre to perform hits like “Paris (Ooh La La)” and “Tiny Light.” Folio Weekly recently chatted with Potter about starting rumors, overnight sensations and the hazards of playing dress-up with The Avett Brothers. Folio Weekly: You still live in your hometown of Waitsfield, Vt. (pop. about 1,700). Does that help keep you grounded? Grace Potter: Yup. Waitsfield is my home; it’s where I grew up. I’m not there enough, though. I miss it. It’s rare that we get to go home for more than a couple weeks, but it’s just great to © 2010 have such a humbling, grounding place to be.

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24 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 1-7, 2011

F.W.: You played with a ton of people last year — My Morning Jacket and The Black Keys, to name a few. You must have some great road stories. G.P.: I have so many great little road excerpts that I write down in my journal so I don’t forget. Are you familiar with The Avett Brothers? They dressed up like mummies on Halloween at the Ryman Auditorium [once home to the Grand Ol’ Opry in Nashville]. It was the last night of their tour. They made their own mummy costumes to save money, and they went through like 40 or 50 rolls of medical gauze. I was there as they were trying to get it off and there is

nothing funnier than watching a couple of down-home boys from North Carolina trying to remove the gauze as it gets stuck in some very uncomfortable places. F.W.: Your personal style has changed drastically over the past few years — from jeans and T-shirts to short, sexy sequined dresses. Is it weird to look in the mirror these days? G.P.: It was definitely more organic than people noted. I think it’s so funny that people thought it was this overnight thing. I grew up in a place where dressing up and wearing makeup is not cool — it’s in fact the opposite. If you got caught wearing eye makeup, it was considered trashy. As a kid, I’d go to school with no makeup on and then come home and I’d be putting on makeup, curling my hair, putting on high heels, dressing up. I was closeting my passion for glamour and fashion because I wanted to be taken seriously. I’ve been gifted with this amazing career and now I have an excuse to get dressed up. F.W.: Similarly, you have great stage presence. Do you think that’s a learned skill or is it natural? G.P.: A little bit of both, for sure. I love being given the opportunity to perform. My parents always encouraged me to write and sort of cultivate what I had — my abilities and my talents — in the privacy of our home. And then when you’re ready, share it. I was always thinking I was ready. I really enjoy the exploration of stage presence. F.W.: You’re very candid during interviews. I was watching you on “Lopez Tonight” and you were talking about propositioning Robert Plant to go into the bathroom with you. Why so honest? G.P.: I think that’s a good way of doing it — you nip it in the bud before it goes any further or any speculation gets out there. I like starting rumors, I like stirring things up because so many crazy things happen in the music industry and they get sort of hidden under a hat. I’m not a gossip queen, I’m not a gabber. I think it’s more that if you have a story to tell … you want to pull behind the curtain a little bit. But some things that happen need to be left unsaid and some things should just be thrown out there. Kara Pound themail@folioweekly.com

CONCERTS THIS WEEK

TY SEGALL, THE COUGS, ALLIGATOR Garage rocker Segall performs at 8 p.m. on March 2 at Ring of Fire Honky Tonk, 113 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine. Tickets are $8. 460-2641. AS I LAY DYING, WINGS OF PLAGUE, AFTER THE BURIAL, CASEY JONES The punk rock kicks off at 8 p.m. on March 2 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Advance tickets are $17. 246-2473. HUNDREDTH, DNR, ARCADIA, IN BETRAYAL These local heavy hitters play at 6 p.m. on March 3 at Brewster’s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 223-9850. GRACE POTTER & THE NOCTURNALS, CHAMBERLIN These retro rockers play at 8 p.m. on March 3 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. Tickets are $20 and $25. 355-2787. PAUL GEREMIA The singer-songwriter performs at 8 p.m. on March 3 at Dog Star Tavern, 10 N. Second St., Fernandina Beach. 277-8010. STRAIGHT LINE STITCH, WAR OF AGES These punk and indie acts play at 8 p.m. on March 3 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $8. 398-7496. GO AWAY GHOST, FULL STOP, CRIMSON CITY ROMANCE, THE GALLERY The punk and emo rockers play at 8 p.m. on March 3 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Advance tickets are $8. 246-2473. RICHARD SMITH, JULIE ADAMS This duo performs an eclectic array of music at 8:30 p.m. on March 3 at European Street Café, 1704 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $10. 399-1740. TINSLEY ELLIS Blues rocker Ellis hits the stage at 10 p.m. on March 3 at Mojo Kitchen, 1500 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach. Advance tickets are $10; $12 at the door. 247-6636. LITTLE JAKE & THE SOUL SEARCHERS This R&B band performs a Keep Putnam Beautiful benefit show at 7 p.m. on March 4 at Downtown Blues Bar & Grille, 714 St. Johns Ave., Palatka. Advance tickets are $10; $15 at the door. (386) 325-5454. BENJAMIN BAKER The singer performs an eclectic repertoire at 7 p.m. on March 4 at Three Layers Cafe, 1602 Walnut St., Jacksonville. 355-9791.

MUSIC for MEOWS: A Rock Benefit for Community Cats with XGEEZER, STATUS FAUX, THE PINZ, POOR RICHARDS, FFN PUNX, LAUREN FINCHAM, DAVID GARRETT, BADA BING BABES Local bands rally to raise funds for abandoned and homeless cats at 8 p.m. on March 4 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $5 and $8. 398-7496. HEART SHAPED BOX (Nirvana tribute), THE PICTURE SHOW Kurt Cobain is memorialized in song at 8 p.m. on March 4 at Brewster’s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 223-9850. SWAMP LOGIC These rockers play at 8 p.m. on March 4 at Dog Star Tavern, 10 N. Second St., Fernandina Beach. 277-8010. DAVID OLNEY, SERGIO WEBB The songwriters perform at 8 p.m. on March 4 at European Street Café, 5500 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $10. 399-1740. DIANA ROSS The original diva performs at 8 p.m. on March 4 at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $58-$128. 633-6110. WASTID TALENT, FERAL SWINE, EXPERIMENT, THE NAYSAYERS This night of rock begins at 8 p.m. on March 4 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Advance tickets are $8. 246-2473. LITTLE GREEN APPLES, BIG BUCKS, DJ CREW The hip hop kicks off at 10 p.m. on March 4 at Club TSI, 333 E. Bay St., Jacksonville. Admission is $7. 424-3531. RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Al Poindexter and River Rise play at 10:30 a.m.; Grandpa’s Cough Medicine at 11:45 a.m. and Shaun Lightfoot & the Brigade at 2:30 p.m. at Riverside Arts Market, under the Fuller Warren Bridge at Riverside Avenue, Jacksonville. 554-6865. BLUE SMOKE & THE SMOKIN’ BLUE HORNS This blues band plays at 5 p.m. on March 5 at Downtown Blues Bar & Grille, 714 St. Johns Ave., Palatka. (386) 325-5454. Fletcher High School BATTLE OF THE BANDS with VIGILANTES OF THE ONSLAUGHT, JANAY JAMISSON, THE WESTERLIES, THE DRAMA SUMMER, SUNRISE, ONE LESS ATLANTIC, DEO GREER Local bands battle for bragging rights at 6 p.m. on March 5 at Duncan U. Fletcher High School, 700 Seagate Ave., Neptune Beach. Advance tickets are $5; $10 at the door. 247-5905. LAUREN FINCHAM The singer-songwriter performs at 7 p.m.

on March 5 at Three Layers Cafe, 1602 Walnut St., Jacksonville. 355-9791. JOHN MELLENCAMP & BAND The heartland rocker plays at 7 p.m. on March 5 at the Times Union Center’s Moran Theater, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $45-$129. 633-6110. THE DUNDIES’ Farewell Show with BELLARIVE, COREY KILGANNON, SAVING DAISY The faith-base acts play at 7 p.m. on March 5 at Murray Hill Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., Jacksonville. Suggested donation is $10. 388-3179. SLIGHTLY STOOPID, FISHBONE The funk-punk freaks play at 7 p.m. on March 5 at Plush, 845 University Blvd. N., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $27.50. 743-1845. AMDINE, LOVE LOUD, SAMUEL SANDERS These indie bands hit it at 8 p.m. on March 5 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $8. 398-7496. THE FRITZ This jam band plays at 8 p.m. on March 5 at Dog Star Tavern, 10 N. Second St., Fernandina Beach. 277-8010. HANS YORK, BOB CHEEVERS These singer-songwriters perform at 8 p.m. on March 5 at European Street Café, 5500 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $10. 399-1740. THE STORMY WEATHER BLUES BAND This local blues act hits the stage at 10 p.m. on March 5 at Mojo Kitchen, 1500 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach. Tickets are $7. 247-6636. GOLIATH FLORES The multi-instrumentalist appears at 1 p.m. on March 6 at Three Layers Cafe, 1602 Walnut St., Jacksonville. 355-9791. Benefit Show for JHAYSONN PATHEK with CHARLIE WALKER, NATE HOLLEY, WITZ END, WHAT ABOUT ME, GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE, KING EDDIE & PILI PILI, DJ GIZ-ROC These local acts rally to raise funds for Pathek’s medical fund at 4 p.m. on March 6 at Landshark Café, 1728 Third St. N., Jax Beach. $5 donation at the door. 246-6024. RA RA RIOT, THE LUYAS Syracuse, N.Y.-based indie rockers Ra Ra Riot perform at 8 p.m. on March 6 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $15. 398-7496. CLAIRE LYNCH BAND The bluegrass group plays at 8 p.m. on March 6 at European

FreebirdLive.com 200 N. 1st St., Jax Beach, FL • 904.246.BIRD (2473) WEDNESDAY MARCH 2

AS I LAY DYING Wings of Plague After the Burial/Casey Jones THURSDAY MARCH 3

THE GREAT WORKING

Full Stop/Crimson City Romance/The Gallery

FRIDAY MARCH 4

WASTID TALENT Feral Swine / The Naysayers WEDNESDAY MARCH 9

TIM REYNOLDS TR3 (of Dave Matthews Band)

Yancy Clegg

THURSDAY MARCH 10

G-LOVE & Special Sauce FRIDAY MARCH 11

STREETLIGHT MANIFESTO

FREEBIRD SATURDAY MARCH 12

A Loss for Words/Larry & his Flask

THE READY SET

The Downtown Fiction We Are the In Crowd

You Me & Everyone We Know / Fit For Rivals FRIDAY MARCH 18

The Best Live Music in St. Augustine!

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March 3

Will Pearsall March 4 & 5

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Texas Hold ’Em STARTS AT 7 P.M.

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Southern Magic

CONCH

BADFISH

(the Sublime Tribute)

Scotty Don’t/Sidereal THURSDAY MARCH 24

PETER MURPHY Livan

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CROSSFADE Down From Up TUESDAY APRIL 5

EOTO

(Members of String Cheese Incident)

Zebbler Encanti Experience THURSDAY APRIL 7

EASY STAR ALLSTARS (DubSide of the Moon)

The Green/Cas Haley THURSDAY APRIL 14

Forever the Sickest Kids / Breathe Carolina UPCOMING SHOWS 4-26:

Ghostland Observatory

4-27:

Unwritten Law/Authority Zero

5-1:

Soulive

5-5:

Changes in Latitude (Jimmy Buffet Tribute)

5-12:

Plain White T’s

5-13:

Mac Miller

5-22:

Minus the Bear

MARCH 1-7, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 25

Street Café, 5500 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $10. 399-1740. KNIFE REVENGE, HENRIETTA, A CALL FOR KYLIE, SACK THE CITY, WITH MY BARE HANDS These area rockers perform at 6 p.m. on March 7 at Brewster’s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 223-9850. THE OAKRIDGE BOYS, BILLY DEAN These country artists perform at 7:30 p.m. on March 7 at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $36.50-$66.50. 633-6110. THIS DAY I PREVAIL, INSANE FROM THE PAIN, DON’T EVER SAY NEVER, THE BURDEN OF PROOF, SHOT HEARD AROUND THE WORLD, NEWBORN RANSOM LEGACY The smart money would call this a night of emo rock at 8 p.m. on March 7 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $8. 398-7496. HILLBILLY HELLCATS, THE ARISTOCRATS The roots rock kicks off at 8 p.m. on March 8 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $8. 398-7496.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

KID ROCK, JAMEY JOHNSON March 9, Veterans Memorial Arena TIM REYNOLDS TR3 March 9, Freebird Live KEM March 10, T-U Center G-LOVE AND SPECIAL SAUCE March 10, Freebird Live DARYL HANCE March 11, Mojo Kitchen SEN DOG March 11 & 12, Brewster’s Pit DUM DUM GIRLS, READING RAINBOW, DIRTY BEACHES March 11, Jack Rabbits SIBERIA MY SWEET March 11, Club TSI STREETLIGHT MANIFESTO, TERRIBLE THINGS, A LOSS FOR WORDS, LARRY & HIS FLASK March 11, Freebird Live SISTER HAZEL March 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SUGARLAND March 12, Veterans Memorial Arena ROCCO BLU March 12, Mojo Kitchen THE READY SET, DOWNTOWN FICTION, WE ARE THE IN CROWD, YOU AND ME AND EVERYONE WE KNOW March 12, Freebird Live REBELUTION, JUNIOR REID, GIANT PANDA GUERILLA DUB SQUAD March 13, Plush SADPLANT March 13, Brewster’s Pit PATO BANTON & THE NOW GENERATION BAND March 14,

April 22, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MEEHAN’S TAVERN, 9119 Merrill Rd., Ste. 5, 551-7076 The Palace Saloon ONE NIGHT OF QUEEN May 3, The Florida Theatre Karaoke every Wed. Live music every Fri. YES March 14, The Florida Theatre JEFF BECK, IMELDA MAY BAND May 4, The Florida Theatre MVP’S SPORTS GRILLE, 12777 Atlantic Blvd., 221-1090 BRICK MOWER March 16, Underbelly KRIS KRISTOFFERSON, JOHN PRINE May 14, Florida Theatre Live music at 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. DAYS OF THE NEW, MIKE STAR March 17, Brewster’s Pit KEITH URBAN June 17, Veterans Memorial Arena PLUSH, RAIN, LEOPARD LOUNGE, 845 University Blvd. N., ABK, AMB, KUNG FU VAMPIRE March 18, Brewster’s Pit 745-1845 Slightly Stoopid, Fishbone & Honeyboy Carencro on BONERAMA March 18, Mojo Kitchen March 5. DJ Massive spins top 40 in Rain every Wed., DJs spin BADFISH, SCOTTY DON’T March 19, Freebird Live Latin every Fri.; house & techno in Z-Bar every Fri. PAT TRAVERS March 19, Brewster’s Pit TONINO’S TRATTORIA & MARTINI BAR, 7001 Merrill Rd., HONEY ISLAND SWAMP BAND March 19, Mojo Kitchen AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH Ste. 45, 743-3848 Harry & Sally from 6:30-9 p.m. every Wed. ANTARCTIC, THE BRONZED CHORUS, MANRAY March 22, BEECH STREET GRILL, 801 Beech St., 277-3662 John Alaina Colding every Thur. W. Harvey Williams at 6 p.m. every Fri. The Lomax Lodge Springer every Fri. & Sat., every other Thur. Barry Randolph Signature String Quartet every Sat. JAMES TAYLOR, BEN TAYLOR March 22, T-U Center every Sun. GALEN KIPAR PROJECT March 23, Mojo Kitchen DOG STAR TAVERN, 10 N. Second St., 277-8010 Paul MIKE WATT & THE MISSINGMEN March 24, Jack Rabbits AVONDALE, ORTEGA Geremia at 8 p.m. on March 3. Swamp Logic on March 4. The PETER MURPHY March 24, Freebird Live BRICK RESTAURANT, 3585 St. Johns Ave., 387-0606 Duet Fritz on March 5 RICHARD STOLTZMAN, DAVID STEINMEYER March 25, UNF every Wed. Goliath Flores and Sam Rodriguez every Thur. Bush GENNARO’S ITALIANO SOUTH, 5472 First Coast Hwy., Robinson Theater Doctors every 1st Fri. & Sat. Live jazz every Fri. & Sat. 491-1999 Live jazz from 7:30-9:30 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. ERIC CULBERSON March 25, Mojo Kitchen THE CASBAH CAFE, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath GREEN TURTLE TAVERN, 14 S. Third St., 321-2324 Dan Voll BOOM CHICK March 25, Underbelly Flores every Wed. 3rd Bass every Sun. Live music every Mon. from 7-10 p.m. every Fri. Live music every weekend INDORPHINE March 26, Brewster’s Pit ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave., 387-3582 DJ Keith spins for INDIGO ALLEY, 316 Centre St., 261-7222 Dan Voll & the Alley MARK HUMMEL’S BLUES HARMONICA BLOW OUT Karaoke every Tue. DJ Free spins vintage every Fri. DJ Dave Cats at 8 p.m. every Sat. Frankie’s Jazz Jam at 7:30 p.m. every March 26, Mojo Kitchen Berg spins every Sat. DJ Alex Pagan spins every Sun. Tue. Open mic at 7 p.m. every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. CITIZEN COPE March 27, The Florida Theatre ELEVATED AVONDALE, 3551 St. Johns Ave., 387-0700 O’KANE’S IRISH PUB, 318 Centre St., 261-1000 Dan Voll PUNCH BROTHERS, CHRIS THILE April 1, The Florida Theatre Karaoke with Dave Thrash every Wed. DJ 151 spins hip hop, from 7:30-11:30 p.m. every Wed. The Turner London Band at Springing The Blues: ANDERS OSBORNE, THE LEE BOYS, R&B, funk, soul & old-school every Thur. Live music every 8:30 p.m. every Thur., Fri. & Sat. MICHAEL BURKS, DANA FUCHS April 1-3, Seawalk Plaza weekend. DJ Catharsis spins lounge beats every 1st & 4th Sat. THE PALACE SALOON & SHEFFIELD’S, 117 Centre St., THE VAMPIRATES, KONAMI CODE, POOR RICHARDS April 2, Patrick Evan & Co-Alition every Industry Sun. 491-3332 Wes Cobb every Wed. DJ Anonymous in Sheffield’s The Lomax Lodge TOM & BETTY’S, 4409 Roosevelt Blvd., 387-3311 every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. DJ Miguel Alvarez every EOTO, ZEBLER April 5, Freebird Live Live music every Fri. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Sat. Fri. Buck Smith every Sun., Pili Pili every Mon. JOHN CLAYTON, JEFF CLAYTON, JEFF HAMILTON April 6, PLAE, 80 Amelia Circle, Amelia Island Plantation, UNF Robinson Theater 277-2132 Gary Ross from 7-11 p.m. every Thur.-Sat. Voice of the Wetlands Allstars: TAB BENOIT, CYRIL BAYMEADOWS SEABREEZE SPORTS BAR, 2707 Sadler Rd., 277-2300 NEVILLE, BIG CHIEF MONK BOUDREAUX April 7, Mojo Kitchen THE COFFEE GRINDER, 9834 Old Baymeadows Rd., Karaoke with Daddy’O every Wed. DJ Roc at 9 p.m. every Fri., EASY ALLSTARS, THE GREEN April 7, Freebird Live 642-7600 DJ Albert Adkins spins house every Wed. DJs spin 10 p.m.-2 a.m. every Sat. Wanee Festival with THE ALLMAN BROTHERS BAND, progressive & electro house every Thur. DJ Michael Stumbaugh SLIDER’S SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6990 ROBERT PLANT & BAND OF JOY, WEEN April 14-16, Spirit of spins electro house & progressive breaks every Sat. Cason at 2 p.m. at the tiki bar every Sat. & Sun. the Suwannee Music Park MY PLACE BAR-N-GRILL, 9550 Baymeadows Road, THE SURF, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Live music every FOREVER THE SICKEST KIDS, BREATHE CAROLINA April 14, of Hand every Mon. Rotating bands every other Thur.-Sun. DJ Roc at 5 p.m. every Wed. Freebird Live Produced737-5299 by ks OutChecked by Sales Rep dl OF BENEFIT SUPPORT ASK FOR ACTION Tue. & Wed. YANNIPROMISE April 14, T-U Center OASIS GRILL & CHILL, 9551 Baymeadows Rd., 748-9636 MIRANDA LAMBERT, JUSTIN MOORE & JOSH KELLY ARLINGTON, REGENCY DJs Stan and Mike Bend spin every Feel Good Fri. April 15, St. Augustine Amphitheatre AJ’S BAR & GRILLE, 10244 Atlantic Blvd., 805-9060 DJ TERA NOVA, 8206 Philips Hwy., 733-8085 DJ Jose de la SOJA, THE DIRTY HEADS, NEW POLITICS April 20, The Sheryl every Thur., Fri. & Sat. DJ Mike every Tue. & Wed. Karaoke Soul spins salsa & freestyle every Latin Thur. DJs spin hip hop Florida Theatre RISE AGAINST, BAD RELIGION, FOUR YEAR STRONG every Thur. every Fri. DJs Leland & Marc-E-Marc spin top 40 & house

• CLUBS •

ADVERTISING PROOF This is a copyright protected proof ©

For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. RUN DATE: 030111 FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655

San Marco

Tue. March 1 @ 8:00pm • Von Barlow’s Jazz Journey Thurs. March 3 @ 8:30pm • Richard Smith • Julie Adams

Beach Blvd. at University

Fri. March 4 @ 8:00pm EURO STREET • David Olney • Sergio Webb Sat. March 5 @ 8:00pm • Hans York • Bob Cheevers Mon. March 7 @ 8:00pm • JB Scott’s Swingin’Allstars

26 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 1-7, 2011

Taking care of their own: A benefit show to help defray the costs of musician Jhaysonn Pathek’s medical bills is held on March 6 at 4 p.m. at Landshark Café, 1728 Third St. N., Jax Beach. A $5 donation at the door is suggested. Acts scheduled to appear include Charlie Walker, Nate Holley, Witz End, What About Me, Grandpa’s Cough Medicine, King Eddie & Pili Pili and DJ Giz-Roc. 246-6024. every Sat. DJ Leland McWilliams spins for South Beach Friday every 2nd Fri. Reggae Fanatic is held every 3rd Fri.

the Traffic on March 2. Cloud 9 on March 9. The Johnston Duo at 6:30 p.m. every Tue. and Wed. COPPER TOP, 1712 Beach Blvd., 249-4776 Yankee Slickers on March 6. Ron Perry on March 10 CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 Jenn’s Tribute to Jazz on March 1. Boogie Freaks at 9 p.m. on March 4. Ruby Beach at 6:30 p.m., Karaoke at 10 p.m. on March 5. Just Jazz Quartet at 7 p.m. on March 8 DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 311 Third St. N., 853-5004 Live music every Fri. & Sat. ENGINE 15 BREWING COMPANY, 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217, 249-2337 Live music every Thur. EUROPEAN STREET, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001 Grandpa’s Cough Medicine at 5 p.m. on March 6. Acoustic open mic with John Longbottom from 6-9 p.m. every Tue. FIONN MACCOOL’S IRISH PUB, 333 First St. N., 242-9499 Live music every Tue.-Sun. FLY’S TIE IRISH PUB, 177 E. Sailfish Dr., Atlantic Beach, 246-4293 Nate Holley every Mon. Wes Cobb every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. King Eddie reggae every Sun. FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 As I Lay Dying, Wings of Plague, After the Burial and Casey Jones on March 2. Go Away Ghost, Full Stop, Crimson City Romance and The Gallery on March 3. Wastid Talent, Feral Swine Experiment and The Naysayers on March 4. Tim Reynolds TR3 and Yancy Clegg on March 9 ISLAND GIRL CIGAR BAR, 108 First St., Neptune Beach, 372-0943 Live music at 9:30 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. LANDSHARK CAFE, 1728 Third St. N., 246-6024 Benefit Show for Jhaysonn Pathek with Charlie Walker, Nate Holley, Witz End, What About Me, Grandpa’s Cough Medicine, King Eddie & Pili Pili and DJ Giz-Roc on March 6 LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Sweet Low Down on March 4 & 5. Split Tone at 10:30 p.m. every Tue. Nate Holley Band every Wed. Ryan Campbell every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Video DJ and Karaoke every Sun. Little Green Men every Mon. MAYPORT TAVERN, 2775 Old Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, 270-0801 Kurt Lanham at 2 p.m. every Sun. DJ Jason hosts Karaoke at 9 p.m. every Wed., Fri. & Sat. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 N. Third St., Ste. 2, 246-1500 Ivey Brothers on March 2. Witz End on March 3. Great State on ks byBand onSales March Checked 4. Paul Lundgren March 5.Rep Bread &rlButter on March 9 MEZZA LUNA, 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573

ADVERTISING PROOF

BILLY’S BOATHOUSE, 2321 Beach Blvd., 241-9771 Kurt Lanham on March 3. 4Play on March 4. Dune Dogs on March 5. Incognito at noon, Pat Rose at 4:30 p.m. on March 6 THE BRASSERIE, 1312 Beach Blvd., 249-5800 Live music every Wed. & Thur. BRIX TAPHOUSE, 300 N. Second St., 241-4668 Charlie Walker on March 6. DJ Anonymous every Mon., Tue. & Thur. Live music every Wed. DJ IBay every Fri. & Sat. Charlie Walker every Sun. CABO’S ISLAND PIZZA, 798 Third St. S., 246-0660 Lucky Costello on March 4. Produced ASK100 FOR ACTION CARIBBEE KEY, N. First St., Neptune Beach, 270-8940by Alex Seier every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. CASA MARINA, 691 First St. N., 270-0025 Toots Lorraine &

This is a copyright protected proof ©

BEACHES

(In Jax Beach unless otherwise noted) THE ATLANTIC, 333 N. First St., 249-3338 Josh Roberts & the Hinges on March 5. The Infader spins every Wed. DJ Wes Reed spins every Thur. DJ Jade spins old wave & ’80s retro, SilverStar spins hip hop every Fri. DJ Wes Reed spins ’80s, old school, remixes & mashups, Capone spins top 40 & dance faves PROMISE SUPPORT every Sat. OF BENEFIT BEACHSIDE SEAFOOD, 120 S. Third St., 444-8862 Kurt Lanham sings classical island music every Fri.-Sun.

For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. RUN DATE: 030111 FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655

UNF Jazz at 6 p.m. every Wed. Mike Shackelford and Rick Johnston at 6 p.m. every Thur. MIMI’S SPORTS GRILLE, 1021 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 270-1030 DJ Dennis Hubbell spins & hosts Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Thur. & Fri. MOJO KITCHEN, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636 Tinsley Ellis on March 3. The Stormy Weather Blues Band on March 5. Daryl Hance on March 11 MONKEY’S UNCLE TAVERN, 1850 S. Third St., 246-1070 Peter Dearing at 10 p.m. every Tue. DJ Papa Sugar spins dance music at 9 p.m. every Mon., Thur. & Fri. DJ Austin Williams spins dance & for Karaoke every Wed., Sat. & Sun. NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach, 372-4105 Live music every Thur.-Sat. OCEAN 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060 Live music on March 4 & 5 PACO’S MEXICAN GRILL, 333 N. First St., 208-5097 Live music at 9 p.m. every Thur. PHILLY’S FINEST, 1527 N. Third St., 241-7188 Ian & Steve (Hello Danger) every Fri. RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877 Vinnie on March 2. Bread & Butter on March 3. Sentropolis on March 4 & 5. Story Tellers on March 6 RITZ LOUNGE, 139 Third Ave. N., 246-2255 DJ Jenn Azana every Wed.-Sat. DJ Ibay every Sun. SNAPPERS 314 First St. N., 242-2430 Charlie Walker & Nate Holley on March 4 STICKY FINGERS, 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7427 Live music 3-7 p.m. every Sun. SUN DOG, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 241-8221 Buck Smith on March 2. Billy Buchanan on March 3. Live music on March 4 & 5. Bread & Butter on March 6. Wes Cobb on March 7 THE WINE BAR, 320 N. First St., 372-0211 Jason Ivey & the Army of One on March 4. Billy Buchanan on March 5. Live music every Fri. & Sat.

DOWNTOWN

CAFE 331, 331 W. Forsyth St., 354-1999 Acoustic open mic 9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Tue. Live music 9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Wed. & Fri. Factory Jax’s goth-industrial 9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Sat. Underground 9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Mon. CITY HALL PUB, 234 Randolph Blvd., 356-6750 DJ Skillz spins Motown, old school, hip hop & R&B every Wed. Live music

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every Thur. Smooth Jazz Lunch at 11 a.m., Latin music at 9 p.m. every first Fri.; Ol’ Skool every last Fri. A DJ spins classic R&B, hip hop & dance every Saturdaze. Live reggae & DJs spin island music every Sun. Joel Crutchfield for open mic every Mon. Live music every Tues. DE REAL TING CAFE, 128 W. Adams St., 633-9738 DJs Mix Master Prince, Pete, Stylish, Big Bodie play reggae, calypso, R&B, hip hop and top 40 every Fri. & Sat. DIVE BAR, 331 E. Bay St., 359-9090 DJ NickFresh spins every Tue. Indie Lounge. DJ SuZi-Rok spins every Thur. DJ Trim spins top 40, dance & rock every Fri. DJ Shanghai spins top 40, dance & rock every Sat. THE IVY ULTRA BAR, 113 E. Bay St., 356-9200 DJs 151 The Experience & C-Lo spin every Rush Hour Wed. DJ E.L. spins top 40, South Beach & dance classics every Pure Sat. MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Massive spins top 40 & dance every Velvet Fri. DJ Shotgun spins top 40 & dance every BayStreet Sat. MAVERICKS ROCK N’HONKY TONK, The Jacksonville Landing, 356-1110 Bobby Laredo spins every Thur. & Sat. Saddle Up every Sat. NORTHSTAR SUBSTATION, 119 E. Bay St., 860-5451 Karaoke every Fri. THE PEARL, 1101 N. Main St., 791-4499 DJs Tom P. & Ian S. spin ’80s & indie dance every Fri. DJ Ricky spins indie rock, hip hop & electro every Sat. POPPY LOVE SMOKE, 112 E. Adams St., 354-1988 Lil John Lumpkin, Stefano Di Bella & Lawrence Buckner every Wed. & Fri. Open mic every 2nd & 4th Sun. ZODIAC GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283 Eric Carter and DJ Al Pete every Fri.

FLEMING ISLAND

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999 Charlie Walker on March 2, 16, 23 & 30. Yankee Slickers on March 4. Nate Holley on March 5. John Earle on March 9. Live music every Fri. & Sat. MERCURY MOON, 2015 C.R. 220, 215-8999 DJ Ty spins for ladies’ nite every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Buck Smith Project every Mon. Blistur unplugged every Wed. ROCKIN RODZ, 2574 C.R. 220, 276-2000 Talent Nite Finale at noon on March 6. David Milam from 7-10 p.m. every Thur. & Fri. Live music every Thur.-Sat. Talent Nite every Sat. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Black Creek

Risin’ on March 3. Bambi Shoots Back on March 4 & 5. Live music on the deck at 5 p.m. every Sun.

INTRACOASTAL WEST

BREWSTER’S PIT, 14003 Beach Blvd., Ste. 3, 223-9850 Hundredth, DNR, Arcadia and In Betrayal on March 3. Heart Shaped Box (Nirvana Tribute) and The Picture Show on March 4. Knife Revenge, Henrietta, A Call For Kylie, Sack The City and With My Bare Hands on March 7 BREWSTER’S PUB, 14003 Beach Blvd., Ste. 3, 223-9850 Throwback Tue. features ’70s, ’80s & top 40. Open mic with CBH every Wed. Karaoke with DJ Randal every Thur. Live music every Thur., Fri. & Sat. A DJ spins every Mon. BRUCCI’S PIZZA, 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 36, 223-6913 Mike Shackelford at 6:30 p.m. every Sat. Brucci’s Live with Mike Shackelford at 6:30 p.m. every Mon. CLIFF’S BAR & GRILLE, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 Blistur on March 3. Grimm White Steed on March 4 & 5. Karaoke every Tue. DJ Kevin for ladies nite every Wed. Karaoke with DJ Jack at 9 p.m. every Sun. Live music every Thur., Fri. & Sat. JERRY’S SPORTS GRILLE & STEAKHOUSE, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 22, 220-6766 Lucky Stiff on March 4. Cat Five on March 5. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Mon. Live music outside for Bike Night every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. YOUR PLACE BAR & GRILL, 13245 Atlantic Blvd., 221-9994 Chuck Nash every Tue. Simply Righteous every Wed.

Open mic with Biker Bob at 7:30 p.m. every Thur. Les B. Fine at 1 p.m. every Reggae Sun. Creekside Songwriters Showcase at 7 p.m. on the last Wed. each month RACK ’EM UP BILLIARDS, 4268 Oldfield Crossing, 262-4030 Craig Hand every Sat. Karaoke at 7 p.m. every Sun. SMITTY’S INTERNET BAR, 3353 Kori Rd., 683-0388 Jukebox Karaoke at 5 p.m. every Sun. SPECKLED HEN TAVERN & GRILLE, 9475 Philips Hwy., Ste. 16, 538-0811 Live music from 6-9 p.m. every Fri. THE TREE STEAKHOUSE, 11362 San Jose Blvd., 262-0006 The Boril Ivanov Biva Jazz Band from 7-9 p.m. every Thur. David Gum at the piano bar from 7-10 p.m. every Fri.

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

CHEERS BAR & GRILL, 1580 Wells Rd., 269-4855 Karaoke at 9:30 p.m. every Wed. & Sat. CRACKERS LOUNGE, 1282 Blanding Blvd., 272-4620 Karaoke every Fri. & Sat. THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael every Wed.-Sat. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 The Whey on March 3. Roger That on March 4 & 5. Buck Smith Project every Mon. DJ Waldo every Tue. DJ Papa Sugar every Wed. SENOR WINGS, 700 Blanding Blvd., 375-0746 DJ Andy spins for Karaoke every Wed. DJ Tammy spins for Karaoke every Fri. Live music every Sat. DJ spins for every Mon. S.I. nite

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HAPPY OURS SPORTS GRILLE, 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 101, 683-1964 Live music at 7:30 p.m. every Fri. SHANNON’S IRISH PUB, 111 Bartram Oaks Walk, 230-9670 Live music every Fri. & Sat.

MANDARIN

AW SHUCKS OYSTER BAR & GRILL, 9743 Old St. Augustine Rd., 240-0368 Open mic with John O’Connor from 7-10 p.m. every Wed. Cafe Groove Duo, Jay Terry and John O’Connor, from 8-11 p.m. every Sat. Live music from 9 p.m.-mid. every Sat. CHEERS BAR & GRILL, 11475 San Jose Blvd., 262-4337 Karaoke at 9:30 p.m. every Wed. THE NEW ORLEANS CAFE, 12760 San Jose Blvd., 880-5155 Jazz on the Deck 7-10 p.m. with Sleepy’s Connection every Tue.

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DOWNTOWN BLUES BAR & GRILLE, 714 St. Johns Ave., (386) 325-5454 Little Jake & The Soul Searchers on March 4. Tropical Whiskey Band on March 5. Franc Robert on March 19. Live music at 6 p.m. every Wed. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Fri. Blues at 8:30 p.m. every Sat. Blues jams at 2 p.m. every Sun.

PONTE VEDRA

AQUA GRILL, 950 Sawgrass Village Dr., 285-3017 Brian Green Duo at 3 p.m. every Sun. on the deck KARMA, 822 A1A N., 834-3942 Live music on March 4 & 5 NINETEEN AT SAWGRASS, 110 Championship Way, 273-3235 Time2Swing at 6 p.m. every Jazz Thur. Strings of Fire from 6-9 p.m. every Sat. PUSSER’S CARIBBEAN GRILLE, 816 A1A N., Ste. 100,

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BOOTS

CRUISERS GRILL, 3 St. George St., 824-6993 Live music every Fri. & Sat. Chelsea Saddler every Sun. FLORIDA CRACKER CAFE, 81 St. George St., 829-0397 Lonesome Bert & the Skinny Lizard at 5:30 p.m. every Wed. THE FLORIDIAN, 39 Cordova St., 829-0655 Live music every Fri. & Sat. THE GREEN DOLPHIN STREET, 51 Charlotte St., 810-1923 Todd & Molly at 8 p.m. every Thur. Travis Elling at 8 p.m. every Fri. Mike Sweet and Karl with a “K” every Sat. Open Forum with Mike Sweet every Sun. HARRY’S SEAFOOD BAR & GRILLE, 46 Avenida Menendez, 824-7765 Stu Weaver every Mon. HURRICANE PATTY’S, 69 Lewis Blvd., 827-1822 Those Guys every Pussy Galore! Stray Cat Saviors Group presents Music for Meows: A Rock Benefit Tue. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Wed. for Community Cats featuring XGeezer, Status Faux, The Pinz, Poor Richards, Billy Buchanan every Thur. Dewey Via FFN PunX, Lauren Fincham, David Garrett & the Bada Bing Babes on March 4 at every Sun. 8 p.m. at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are JACK’S BARBECUE, 691 A1A $5 and $8. Proceeds benefit abandoned and homeless cats. 398-7496. Beach Blvd., 460-8100 Jim Essery at 4 p.m. every Sat. Live music every Thur.-Sat. 280-7766 Live music every Thur.-Sun. JOHNNY’S, 3009 N. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 829-8333 URBAN FLATS, 330 A1A N., 280-5515 High Tides of Jazz at Montage features electro, dance & indie every Mon. 7:30 p.m. on March 3. Evans Bros. on March 4. Darren Corlew KING’S HEAD BRITISH PUB, 6460 U.S. 1, 823-9787 Band on March 5. Darren Corlew every Tue. Soulo & Deron Mike Sweet from 6-8 p.m. every Thur. Baker every Wed. KOZMIC BLUZ PIZZA CAFE & ALE, 48 Spanish St., 825-4805 Live music every Fri., Sat. & Sun. LOCAL HEROES CAFE, 11 Spanish St., 825-0060 Glam punk RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE rock dance party Radio Hot Elf with DJ Dylan Nirvana from 9 BIRDIE’S CAFE, 1044 Park St., 329-3374 Rotating bands and p.m.-2 a.m. every Fri. DJs every Fri. DJ Tom Pennington every Sat. MARDI GRAS, 123 San Marco Ave., 540-2824 Battle of the FATKATS NIGHT CLUB, 1187 S. Edgewood Ave., 994-5201 DJs with Josh Frazetta & Mardi Gras Mike every last Sun. Waylay plays every Thur. Live music & DJ Lavo spinning hip hop, MEEHAN’S IRISH PUB, 20 Avenida Menendez, 810-1923 rock, reggae, punk; Caden spins house, techno, breaks, drum & Improvisation Station every Sat. Live music every Fri. & Sat. bass at 9 p.m. every Flashback Fri. MI CASA CAFE, 69 St. George St., 824-9317 Chelsea Saddler HJ’S BAR & GRILL, 8540 Argyle Forest Blvd., 317-2783 noon-4 p.m. every Mon., Tue. & Thur. Amy Hendrickson every Karaoke with DJ Ron at 8:30 p.m. every Tue. & DJ Richie at Sun. & Wed. every Fri. Live music every Sat. Open mic at 8 p.m. every Wed. MILL TOP TAVERN & LISTENING ROOM, 19 1/2 St. George KICKBACKS, 910 King St., 388-9551 Dave Massey every Tue. St., 829-2329 The Seiners at 9 p.m. on March 4 & 5. Colby Ray & Taylor every Thur. Robby Shenk every Sun. Word at 1 p.m. on March 6. Will Pearsall at 9 p.m. on March LOMAX LODGE, 822 Lomax St., 634-8813 DJ Dots every Tue. 7. Vinny Jacobs every Tue. Todd & Molly Jones at 9 p.m. every Reggae with Milan da Tin Man every Wed. DJ Christian every Wed. Colton McKenna at 9 p.m. every Thur. Live music daily Sat. DJ Spencer every Sun. DJ Luminous every Mon. THE OASIS, 4000 A1A & Ocean Trace, 471-3424 Those Guys METRO, 2929 Plum St., 388-8719 DJ Chadpole every Fri. & every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Chris C4Mann every Sat. Karaoke with KJ Rob every Sun., Mon. & Tue. Mon. MONROE’S SMOKEHOUSE BBQ, 4838 Highway Ave., O.C. WHITES, 118 Avenida Menendez, 824-0808 Mike 389-5551 Bluegrass Nite every Fri. Howard every Mon. & Tue. Rob Peck every Wed. Scott Sweat THE MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave., every Sun. 388-7807 Mandy Sloan, Joshua Pierce, Alan Willis, Kenzey THE REEF, 4100 Coastal Hwy., Vilano Beach, 824-8008 & Friends and Jesse Hartman at 7:30 p.m. on March 4. The Richard Kuncicky from 11 a.m.-2:30 p.m. every Sun. Dundies Farewell Show with Bellarive, Corey Kilgannon and RHETT’S PIANO BAR & BRASSERIE, 66 Hypolita St., Saving Daisy at 7:30 p.m. on March 5 825-0502 Live jazz at 7 p.m. every night WALKERS, 2692 Post St., 894-7465 Jax Arts Collaborative RING OF FIRE HONKY TONK, 113 Anastasia Blvd., every Tue. Patrick & Burt every Wed. DJ Jeremiah every Thur. 460-2641 Ty Segall, The Cougs and Alligator on March 2 Acoustic every Thur.-Sat. Dr. Bill & His Solo Practice of Music at SANGRIAS PIANO BAR, 35 Hypolita St., 827-1947 Sammy 5 p.m. every Fri. every Tue. Acoustic Soul Searchers every Wed. Jim Asalta every Thur. Jazz trios every Fri. The Housecats every Sat. Sunny & the Flashbacks rotate with Soulo every Sun. ST. AUGUSTINE SCARLETT O’HARA’S, 70 Hypolita St., 824-6535 Battle of the (In St. Augustine unless otherwise noted) Bands at 8 p.m. every Thur. DJ Echo hosts Karaoke every Mon. A1A ALE WORKS, 1 King St., 829-2977 Will Pearsall on Amy Hendrickson and Battle of the Bands every Thur. March 3. Reggae SWAT Team on March 4 & 5 THE TASTING ROOM, 25 Cuna St., 810-2400 Live music AMICI ITALIAN RESTAURANT, 1915 A1A S., 461-0102 nightly. Bossa nova with Monica da Silva & Chad Alger from 5-8 Gary Wingard every Thur. p.m. every Sun. ANN O’MALLEY’S, 23 Orange St., 825-4040 Open mic with TINI MARTINI BAR, 24 Avenida Menendez, 829-0928 Smokin Joe from 7-10 p.m. on March 1. Dan Pillen at 6:30 Barry Greene and James Hogan on March 4. Bob Fraioli and Al p.m. on March 2. Rusty Menshouse at 8:30 p.m. on March 5. Dodds on March 5. Bob Fraioli every Thur. Karaoke on March 6. Gary Lee Wingard at 6:30 p.m. on March 9 TWO HUNDRED LOUNGE, 200 Anastasia Blvd., 342-0378 BENITO’S ITALIAN CAFE & PIZZERIA, 155 Hampton Point Live music every Thur. & Fri. DJs spin every Sat. & Sun. Dr., 230-8292 Live music every Fri. & Sat. ZHANRAS, 108 Anastasia Blvd., 823-3367 Billy Buchanan on THE BRITISH PUB, 213 Anastasia Blvd., 810-5111 Karaoke March 2. Chillula on March 5. Deron Baker & Soulo every Tue. at 9 p.m. on March 3, 4 & 5. Jukebox nite on March 6. Open DJ Cep spins ’80s & disco every Sun. Vinny Jacobs open mic mic night with Christi Harris at 8:30 p.m. on March 7 every Mon. CAFE ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., 460-9311 Murs, Tabi Bonney, Whole Wheat Bread and Ab-Soul & DJ Foundation at 8 ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER, TINSELTOWN p.m. on March 19 AROMAS CIGARS & WINE BAR, 4372 Southside Blvd., Ste. CELLAR UPSTAIRS, San Sebastian Winery, 157 King 201, 928-0515 W. Harvey Williams every Tue. DJ Royal at 8 St., 826-1594 The Committee at 7 p.m. on March 4. Will p.m. every Wed. & Thur. Live music every Wed. & Thur. Latin Montgomery Duo at 2 p.m., The Committee at 7 p.m. on March music & DJ Benz every Fri. Live music & DJ T-Rav every Sat. 5. Vinny Jacobs at 2 p.m. on March 6 THE BRASS MONKEY, 9734 Deerlake Ct., 996-8277 CHICAGO PIZZA & BAKERY, 107 Natures Walk Pkwy., Ste. Alex Seier & Ron Rodriguez rotate every acoustic Tue. Live music 101, 230-9700 Greg Flowers hosts open-mic and jazz piano every Wed. DJ Fuller spins every Thur. A DJ spins every Jazz Fri. from 7-10 p.m. every Tue. Live music every Fri. Miley on Meth every SIN Mon. COBALT LOUNGE, 95 Cordova St., 810-6810 LoriAnn from THE GRAPE, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-7111 Live music 5-9 p.m. on March 3 every Fri. & Sat. John Earle every Mon. DJ Mikeology spins CONCH HOUSE LOUNGE, 57 Comares Ave., 829-8646 lounge from 5-9 p.m. every Thur. LoriAnn from 3-7 p.m. on March 4. SoulO on March 6. Brad ISLAND GIRL Wine & Cigar Bar, 7860 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 115, Newman every Thur. Live music at 3 p.m. every Sat. 854-6060 Jazz every Wed. Live music every Thur., Fri. & Sat. CREEKSIDE DINERY, 160 Nix Boatyard Rd., 829-6113 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Court, Ste. 1, Live music on deck Wed.-Sun.

997-1955 Kurt Lanham on March 2. Charlie Walker on March 3, 17, 24 & 31. Chroma on March 4. Corbitt Brothers on March 5. John Earle on March 6. Open mic nite every Tue. SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY, 9735 Gate Parkway N., 997-1999 Chuck Nash every Thur. Live music at 10 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. SUITE, 4880 Big Island Dr., 493-9305 Danny Lazara at 7:30 p.m. on March 1. Latraia Savage & the All Stars at 7:30 p.m. on March 3. Frontline on March 4 & 5. Latin Wave on March 8 URBAN FLATS, 9726 Touchton Rd., 642-1488 Live music every Fri. & Sat. WHISKY RIVER, 4850 Big Island Drive, 645-5571 Down Theory every Mon. Live music every Thur. A DJ spins every Fri. & Sat. WILD WING CAFE, 4555 Southside Blvd., 998-9464 Peter Dearing Band every Wed. DJ Chad spins dance every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

ENDO EXO, 1224 Kings Ave., 396-7733 Paten Locke spins classic boombox, hip hop and tru school every Thur. Reggae every Sun. Open mic with King Ron & T-Roy every Mon. DJ J-Money spins acid jazz, soul, R&B & house every Fri. DJ Manus spins top 40 & dance every Underground Eden; dance & top 40 every Sat. DJ Ian spins every Reggae Sun. EUROPEAN STREET CAFE, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 399-1740 Von Barlow’s Jazz Journey at 8 p.m. on March 1. Richard Smith and Julie Adams at 8 p.m. on March 3. Jazz every 2nd Tue. HAVANA-JAX CUBA LIBRE BAR LOUNGE, 2578 Atlantic Blvd., 399-0609 MVP Band from 6-9 p.m., DJs No Fame & Dr. Doom every Wed. Jazz Night every Thur. DJ Stylez every 2nd Thur. Strings of Fire Band at 7:30 p.m., DJ Omar spins dance every Fri. DJs Harry, Rico & Nestor spin salsa every Sat. JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Straight Line Stitch and War Of Ages on March 3. Music For Meows Benefit on March 4. Amidine, Love Loud and Samuel Sanders on March 5. Ra Ra Riot and The Luyas on March 6. This Day I Prevail, Insane From The Pain, Don’t Ever Say Never, The Burden of Proof, Shot Heard Around The World, Newborn Ransom and Legacy on March 7. Hillbilly Hellcats and The Aristocrats on March 8 MATTHEW’S, 2107 Hendricks Ave., 396-9922 Brazilian bossa nova with Monica da Silva & Chad Alger at 7 p.m. every Thur. RIVER CITY BREWING CO., 835 Museum Cir., 398-2299 Open mic with TJ Ward every Tue. DJ G-Man at 8 p.m. every Sat. SQUARE ONE, 1974 San Marco Blvd., 306-9004 Class Act Band from 8:30 p.m.-1 a.m. on March 5 & 19. Soul on the Square & Band of Destiny at 8 p.m. every Mon. John Earle Band every Tue. DJs Wes Reed & Matt Caulder spin indie dance & electro every Wed. Split Tone & DJ Comic every Thur. Live music every Fri. DJ Dr. Doom spins at 10 p.m. every Mon.

SAA

SOUTHSIDE

CORNER BISTRO & Wine Bar, 9823 Tapestry Park Cir., Ste. 1, 619-1931 Matt “Pianoman” Hall at 8 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. EUROPEAN STREET CAFE, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717 David Olney and Sergio Webb at 8 p.m. on March 4. Hans York and Bob Cheevers at 8 p.m. on March 5 Claire Lynch Band at 8 p.m. on March 6. Mardi Gras with JB Scott’s Swingin’ Allstars at 8 p.m. every 1st Mon.

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

BOOTS-N-BOTTLES, 12405 N. Main St., Ste. 7, Oceanway, 647-7798 DJ Dave on March 4 & 5. Open mic jam every Wed. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Thur. A DJ spins every Fri. & Sat. Live music every weekend THE DAMES POINT MARINA, 4518 Irving Rd., 751-3043 PM Thunder from 3-7 p.m. on March 5. Mr. Natural from 3-7 p.m. on March 6 FLIGHT 747 LOUNGE, 1500 Airport Rd., 741-4073 Big Engine every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. ’70s every Tue. SHARKY’S WINGS & GRILL, 12400 Yellow Bluff Rd., Oceanway, 714-0995 Karaoke at 7 p.m. every Wed. & Thur. DJ Slim Wicked at 9 p.m. every Fri. Live music at 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. SKYLINE SPORTSBAR & LOUNGE, 5611 Norwood Ave., 517-6973 Bigga Rankin & Cool Running DJs every Tue. & 1st Sun. The Fusion Band & DJ every Thur. A DJ spins every Sat. DJ Scar spins at 9 p.m. every Sun. THREE LAYERS CAFE, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 Benjamin Baker at 7 p.m. on March 4. Lauren Fincham at 7 p.m. on March 5. Chris Castle & the Womack Family at 7 p.m. on March 9. Karaoke every Tue. Open mic with Al Poindexter at 7 p.m. every Thur. 3 LIONS SPORTS PUB & GRILL, 2467 Faye Road, Northside, 647-8625 Open mic at 8 p.m. every Thur. Woodie & Wyatt C. every Fri. Live music at 8 p.m. every Sat. To be included in the live music listing, send all the vitals — time, date, location with street address, city, admission price and contact number — to Dan Brown, 9456 Philips Hwy., Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 or email events@folioweekly.com

MARCH 1-7, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 29

Meg Pryor Dancer Sierra Felthousen takes flight for the Florida Waterways Dance Project.

Fluid Motions

An innovative community dance project celebrates the art of environmental awareness FLORIDA WATERWAYS DANCE PROJECT Saturday, March 5 at 4 p.m. The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Drive and Northbank Riverwalk, Jacksonville 353-1188 floridawaterwaysdanceproject.com

ore than half of the human body is composed of water, and roughly 70 percent of the Earth’s surface is covered with it. Suffice it to say, water’s a big deal. That’s why dancers, musicians and visual artists from 23 schools and dance companies around Florida (from Miami to Tampa to Palm Beach to the Panhandle) are getting together for the inaugural Florida Waterways Dance Project, a statewide collaborative initiative of site-specific dance performances founded by Dale Andree, a dance teacher at the New World School of the Arts in Miami. The mission of the event is twofold: to celebrate dance and arts in education and to bring attention to the power and fragility of Florida’s waterways. Nearly two dozen schools will perform dances based on the common theme of water at one of eight locations around the state, including Nova Southeastern University in Ft. Lauderdale, Tampa’s Moving Current Dance Collaborative, Northwest Florida State College in Niceville and Gainesville’s University of Florida. Common movement, site-specific choreography and local music ranging from choral to drum ensembles will link hundreds of dancers. Jacksonville’s role includes nearly 50 dancers from Jacksonville University, Florida State College at Jacksonville and Douglas Anderson School of the Arts. The performance is held in the courtyard at The Jacksonville Landing and extends toward Northbank Riverwalk downtown. Directed by Rebecca Levy and André Megerdichian, the high school

30 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 1-7, 2011

and college-aged dancers are accompanied by the JU Chamber Singers, under the direction of Dr. Timothy Snyder. “The coolest thing is that it’s simultaneous,” says 31-year-old regional co-choreographer

Jacksonville’s role includes nearly 50 dancers from Jacksonville University, Florida State College at Jacksonville and Douglas Anderson School of the Arts. The performance is held in the courtyard at The Jacksonville Landing and extends toward Northbank Riverwalk downtown. and co-organizer Levy, of the event. Levy moved to San Marco from Los Angeles last summer, when her boyfriend and fellow dancer, André Megerdichian, was offered a full-time teaching position at Jacksonville University. Since the move, Levy’s been working adjunct positions at JU, FSCJ and Douglas Anderson, proving a perfect coordinator for the event. “We decided to have Rebecca Levy and Andre Megerdichian direct the project,” explains Brian Palmer, chair of theater and dance at JU. “Coming to the dance community from California, we thought

it would be a nice way to introduce their choreographic skills to Jacksonville.” And since the St. Johns River has had a tough couple of years (not looking to improve much, given the current economic and political climate in Florida), it can use all the support it gets. Levy calls the Jacksonville performance “an homage to the water,” one that’s “indicative of the rain, waves and tide.” And to be perfectly clear, nobody will actually be jumping into the water — just dancing alongside it. Palmer says the event is similar to what pioneering 20th-century dance artist Rudolf von Laban called a “movement choir.” “Most people would recognize this type of dance/movement during the opening and closing ceremonies of Olympic games. This event will be a smaller scale but using the principals of site-specific art.” The performers hope to reach an even broader audience. Statewide, each performance will be streamed live via the Internet from smart phones on the event’s website (floridawaterwaysdanceproject.com) and viewers will be able to choose the camera angle for each location. Levy and company had to secure proper approval and permits to put on the event. Blakeley Ainsworth, public relations and marketing coordinator for The Jacksonville Landing, says, “One of Jacksonville’s best features is the river and we couldn’t be located in a better spot. It’s great to see so many students coming together to help make this event possible and celebrate the St. Johns River.” As far as expectations, Levy’s trying not to have any. “I’m still relatively new to Jacksonville. In terms of the average Joe who’s having lunch at the Landing on a Saturday afternoon, I don’t know. I’m hoping that people will regard this like any street performance.” Kara Pound themail@folioweekly.com

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MARCH 1-7, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 31

Exceptionally Good Wood: Anchor Boutique exhibits the work of Joel Scille, a designer and woodworker, at First Friday Art Walk in St. Augustine from 6-9 p.m. on March 4 at 210 St. George Street. Scille’s Florida company, Audiowood, has been profiled in Metropolitan Home, The New York Times and BoingBoing, and features a variety of high-performance electronics, from iPhone docks to custom amplifiers. 808-7078.

PERFORMANCE HERNANDO’S HIDEAWAY This dinner theater mystery is staged at 5:30 p.m. on March 3, 4 and 5 at The Brasserie Ballroom, 1312 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach. Tickets are $49. 241-3232. DARK OF THE MOON Flagler College stages Howard Richardson’s classic drama at 7:30 p.m. on March 4 and 5 and at 2 p.m. on March 6 at the college’s Auditorium, 14 Granada St., St. Augustine. Tickets are $10. 826-8600. FLORIDA WATERWAYS DANCE PROJECT This collaborative site-specific performance is held at 4 p.m. on March 5 at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Drive, and Northbank Riverwalk, Jacksonville. 353-1188. 101 YEARS OF BROADWAY Neil Berg’s musical tribute to the Great White Way is performed at 3 p.m. on March 6 at Thrasher Horne Center for the Arts, 283 College Drive, Orange Park. Tickets range from $30-$38. 276-6750. MERCHANT OF VENICE Shakespeare’s classic tragic with comedic undertones is staged at 8 p.m. on March 4 and 5 at Players by the Sea, 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach. Admission is $21; $18 for seniors, military and students. 249-0289. THE LIVES & WIVES OF HENRY FLAGLER Limelight Theatre and Raintree Restaurant present this dinner theater experience at 6 p.m. on March 6 at 102 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine. Tickets are $39.95. 825-1164. GYPSY Stephen Sondheim’s story of famed striptease artist Gypsy Lee Rose is staged at 7:30 p.m. on March 1, 3, 4 and 5 at Limelight Theatre, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine. Tickets are $25; $22 for seniors, $20 for military and students. 825-1164. HAIRSPRAY This musical adaptation of John Waters’ comedy about 1960s dance contests is staged at 8 p.m. March 1-6 and 8, at 1:15 p.m. on March 5 and 2 p.m. on March 6 at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $45 and $49; $42 for matinees. 641-1212. A TRIBUTE TO HISTORY Students from Davis Performing Arts present a tribute to history through theater, dance and music at 6 p.m. on March 1 at 4012 University Blvd. N., Jacksonville. 303-3193. AUNTIE ROZ PEANUT SHOW Educator and performer Roslyn Burrough leads a cast of children in this Broadway-style production that promotes academic excellence at 10 a.m. on March 7 and 8 at Shiloh Metropolitan Baptist Church’s Coleman Auditorium, 1118 Beaver St., Jacksonville. Admission is $5. 713-0885. A THOUSAND CRANES Limelight Theatre’s Lunchbox Series presents this kid-geared story about a young man’s campaign to end nuclear war at 10:30 a.m. on March 1 and 3 and at 10:30 a.m. on March 5 at 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine. Tickets are $10; $5 for students. 825-1164.

CALLS & WORKSHOPS

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JAX ART UNLEASHED First Coast No More Homeless Pets accepts works in a variety of media for its June 23 Jax Art Unleashed fundraiser and juried art show. Deadline is May 30. Artwork may be dropped off or mailed to 6817 Norwood Ave., Jacksonville FL 32208. 520-7900. jaxartunleashed.com YOUTH TALENT COMPETITION The Generation Next youth talent competition welcomes performers ages 7-21 to compete for a chance to perform during this year’s Jacksonville Jazz Festival. Auditions are held from 2-5 p.m. on April 16 at Keyboard Connection Pianos & Organs, 9912 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville. 880-0002. RONAN SCHOOL OF MUSIC OPEN JAM The Ronan School of Music hosts an open jam session for musicians at 11 a.m. on March 5 at 1763 Geraldine Drive, Jacksonville. 647-7957. WOMEN’S CHORUS SEEKS SINGERS Friday Musicale Chorus holds auditions for women singers at 10:30 a.m. on March 3 at 645 Oak St., Jacksonville. 232-2601. CALL FOR RECYCLED BOTTLE ART St. Augustine Sculpture Garden seeks original recycled glass bottle (wine or liquor) art to be sold to raise funds to complete the projected community sculpture garden. Artists may submit up to three pieces decorated in any media. All pieces are to be photographed for the garden’s website. Deadline for submissions is March 15. Artwork should be delivered to Butterfield

Garage, 137 King St., St. Augustine. 825-4577. st-augustinesculpture-garden.org CALLING ALL ARTISTS First Coast Art seeks submissions from artists working in two-dimensional mediums for the upcoming juried exhibit, “A Magical History Tour, Act I and II.” Entries are accepted from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. on March 1 and 10 a.m.-noon on March 2 at Beaches Museum and History Center, 380 Pablo Ave., Jax Beach. Entry fees are $10 per picture. Two pieces may be submitted. For details, call 241-5657 or 247-4335 ext. 4. AFRICAN HAND DRUM CLASS Midnight Sun offers hand drum classes at 7 p.m. every Tue. at 1055 Park St., Jacksonville. Class fee is $10. 358-3869. SPRING ACTING CLASSES Players By The Sea offers various 10-week acting classes for ages K-adult through April 22 at 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach. Class fees vary. 249-0289. FINE ART FEST SEEKS ARTISTS The inaugural Jacksonville Fine Arts Festival seeks artists for a juried event on April 9 and 10 in Avondale’s Boone Park. Entry fees start at $25. Register at zapplication.org. 388-1188. ROMANCE WRITERS’ CONFERENCE First Coast Romance Writers accept registrations for the “Light Up Your Career at the Southern Writers’ Conference” from 8 a.m.-5 p.m. on March 12 at Jacksonville Marriott, 4670 Salisbury Road. Workshops, a keynote luncheon and critique raffles are featured. Registration is $110. firstcoastromancewriters.com CALL TO ARTISTS The second annual Art & About Festival offers space for artists working in various media. The festival is held on April 30 at Town Hall Park, 2042 Park Ave., Orange Park. Entry deadline is April 9. artguildoforangepark.com LIFE DRAWING SKETCH GROUP This non-instructional drawing group, featuring a live model, meets from 7-10 p.m. every Mon. at St. Augustine Art Association, 22 Marine St. Artists bring their own supplies. The fee is $10. 824-2310. staaa.org ADULT ART CLASSES Beginning and advanced acrylics, watercolors, photoshop, drawing, oil painting and portrait painting classes are held Mon.-Sat. at The Cultural Center at Ponte Vedra, 50 Executive Way, Ponte Vedra. Fees vary. 280-0614. ccpvb.org CORSE GALLERY WORKSHOPS Beginning and advanced acrylics, watercolors, oil painting and portrait painting classes are held Mon.-Sat. at Corse Gallery & Atelier, 4144 Herschel St., Jacksonville. Fees vary. 388-8205. corsegalleryatelier.com WEST AFRICAN DRUM & DANCE A drumming class is held at 5:30 p.m., an African dance class is held at 6:45 p.m. every Fri. at St. Johns Cultural Arts Center, 370 A1A Beach Blvd. Each class is $10. 315-1862. ARTIST PALETTE CLASSES Beginning and advanced acrylics, watercolors, drawing, oil painting and portrait painting classes are held Tue.-Sat. at Artist Palette, 3821 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Fees vary. 200-8937. THEATRICAL ARTS Classes in theatrical performance, including song and dance, are held Mon.-Fri. at The Performers Academy, 3674 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Fees vary. 322-7672. theperformersacademy.com

CLASSICAL & JAZZ JAZZ AT THE BRASSERIE Vocalist Victoria Ward, pianist Ezekiel Haynes and saxophonist Tracy Morris — The Tori-V Experience — perform R&B and jazz standards at 7 p.m. every Tue. Live jazz is featured at 7 p.m. every Fri. and Sat. at The Brasserie, 1312 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach. 249-5800. JAZZ AT TREE STEAKHOUSE Boril Ivanov Trio performs at 7 p.m. every Thur. and pianist David Gum performs at 7 p.m. every Fri. at The Tree Steakhouse, 11362 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville. 262-0006. JAZZ AT GENNARO’S Gennaro’s Ristorante Italiano features live jazz at 7:30 p.m. every Fri. and Sat. at 5472 First Coast Highway, Fernandina Beach. 491-1999. JAZZ AT INDIGO ALLEY Amelia Arts Academy Jazz Ensemble jams at 6:30 p.m.; Frankie’s Jazz Jam is on at 7:30 p.m. on March 1. Guitarist Dan Voll plays from 8-11 p.m. on March 5 at 316 Centre St., Fernandina Beach. 261-7222. JAZZ IN ST. AUGUSTINE Rhett’s Piano Bar & Brasserie features live jazz nightly at 7 p.m. at 66 Hypolita St., St. Augustine. 825-0502. VON BARLOW’S JAZZ JOURNEY This jazz ensemble performs at 8 p.m. on March 1 at European Street Café,

1704 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $10. 399-1740. ORCHESTRATED VOICES JU Chamber Singers, Concert Choir and Orchestra perform at 7:30 p.m. on March 3 at Jacksonville University’s Terry Concert Hall, 2800 University Blvd. N., Jacksonville. 256-7677. CELTIC CELEBRATION The Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra presents this musical tribute to the Emerald Isle at 7:30 p.m. on March 3 and at 8 p.m. on March 4 and 5 at the TimesUnion Center for the Performing Arts’ Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $26-$66. 354-5547. PAYAHOKEE: A PLEA FOR LIFE Jim Miller’s and Jack Tamul’s tone poem celebrating the Everglades is performed at 7:30 p.m. on March 3 at Friday Musicale, 645 Oak St., Jacksonville. Admission is $20. 355-7584 CHARLOTTE MABREY & FRIENDS Percussionist and educator Mabrey performs at 11 a.m. and 7:30 p.m. on March 4 at Friday Musicale, 645 Oak St., Jacksonville. 355-7584. GUEST VOICE MASTERCLASS Tenor Dr. Benjamin Brecher leads this master class at 3 p.m. on March 4 at University of North Florida’s Recital Hall, 1 UNF Drive, Jacksonville. 620-2878. CHOIR CONCERT IN RIVERSIDE The Florida State University Choir performs at 8 p.m. on March 4 at Church of the Good Shepherd, 1100 Stockton St., Jacksonville. Tickets are $25; $10 for students. 389-6222. RENÉ MARIE This jazz vocalist performs at 7 and 10 p.m. on March 5 at Ritz Theatre & LaVilla Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $21; $25 at the door. 632-5555. A FESTIVAL OF NEW MUSIC FOR PERCUSSION Pieces by Bob Moore, Bill Boston and Steve Saracson are premiered at 7:30 p.m. on March 5 at Jacksonville University’s Terry Concert Hall, 2800 University Blvd. N., Jacksonville. 256-7677. UNF BRASS & PERCUSSION ENSEMBLES Dr. Randall Tinnin and Professor Charlotte Mabrey direct these University of North Florida musical ensembles at 3 p.m. on March 6 at All Saints Episcopal Church, 4171 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. 737-8488. ORGAN CONCERT Riverside Fine Arts presents organist Chelsea Chen at 3 p.m. on March 6 at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets are $25; $10 for students. 389-6222. J.B. SCOTT’S SWINGIN’ ALLSTARS Trumpeter Scott leads his band at 8 p.m. on March 7 at European Street Café, 5500 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $10. 399-1740.

ART WALKS & FESTIVALS FIRST WEDNESDAY ART WALK This self-guided tour, themed “Sew Artistic,” is held from 5-9 p.m. on March 2 in downtown Jacksonville, spanning a 15-block radius of galleries, museums, bars and eateries. 634-0303 ext. 230. DOWNTOWN FRIDAY MARKET Arts & crafts and local produce are offered every Fri. from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Drive, downtown. 353-1188. FIRST FRIDAY ART WALK This self-guided tour features 25 participating galleries from 5-9 p.m. on March 4 in downtown St. Augustine. 829-0065.

MUSEUMS AMELIA ISLAND MUSEUM OF HISTORY 233 S. Third St., Fernandina Beach, 261-7378. A display of paintings by The Highwaymen runs through March. The museum’s permanent collection includes artifacts from Nassau County’s Spanish Mission period. BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY CENTER 413 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657. Painter Ellen Jones’ “The Roaring 20s: Transportation Beaches Style” runs through April 2. An exhibit of new works by Lyn Nix, Gordon Russell and Bruce Ann Ferguson, “A View from the Atlantic,” is on display through March 1. CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS “The Cummer Legacy” runs through May 22. The S.P. Livingston Elementary School Exhibition features student artwork from March 7-May 9. The photographic exhibition, “A Genius for Place: American Landscapes of the Country Place Era,” runs through April 24. The exhibit “Art Beyond Sight” is on display through March 6. A drop-in art class allows kids ages 4-10 to explore the galleries and create their own art from 5-6 p.m. on March 1 and 7. The fee is $5 for non-members. “Women of Vision: Art Beyond Sight” runs through March 6. KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Jacksonville, 356-2992. A collection of Sigmund Freud-related manuscripts are on display through April. Open Tue.-Fri., 10 a.m.-3 p.m.; Sat. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. MANDARIN MUSEUM & HISTORICAL SOCIETY 11964 Mandarin Road, Jacksonville, 268-0784. Walter Jones Historical Park features a maple leaf exhibit and is home to the Harriet Beecher Stowe Garden. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Jacksonville, 366-6911. Dr. Debra Murphy discusses “Teaching the Collection” at 10:30 a.m. on March 2. A

Peanut Gallery: Educator and performer Roslyn Burrough leads a cast of children in the Broadway-style “Auntie Roz Peanut Show,” which promotes academic excellence, at 10 a.m. on March 7 and 8 at Shiloh Metropolitan Baptist Church’s Coleman Auditorium, 1118 Beaver St., Jacksonville. Admission is $5. 713-0885. performance piece to coincide with the exhibit “Wind Weaver and the Whirling Wheel: A Tale of Wolfbat Romance” is staged at 7 p.m. on March 3. The show runs through March 20. “The Art of Seating: 200 Years of American Design” runs through April 3. Family Fun Free Day is held from noon-4 p.m. every Sun. Open Tue.-Sun. mocajacksonville.org MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville, 396-6674. The Bryan Gooding Planetarium offers daily programs including children’s features, and weekend Cosmic Concerts. Open daily. RITZ THEATRE & LAVILLA MUSEUM 829 N. Davis St., Jacksonville, 632-5555. Jazz vocalist René Marie performs at 7 and 10 p.m. on March 5. Advance tickets are $21; $25 at the door. The exhibit “Through Our Eyes” runs through May 21. “Lift Ev’ry Voice in LaVilla,” an exhibit of African-American history in Jacksonville, is on permanent display. Admission is $6 for adults, $3 for children, students and seniors. Open Tue.-Sun.

GALLERIES 111 E. BAY STREET 111 E. Bay St., Jacksonville. F13RCE Dance Theatre presents “Music, Fashion and Dance” from 5-9 p.m. on March 2 during First Wednesday Art Walk. 122 OCEAN: THE OLD LIBRARY 122 N. Ocean St., Jacksonville, 396-9601. The FSCJ Fine Arts Department presents a multi-discipline show from 5-9 p.m. on March 2 during First Wednesday Art Walk. THE ADRIAN PICKETT GALLERY The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Drive, Ste. 112, Jacksonville, 962-2540. Adrian Pickett’s works in charcoal are displayed. AMELIA ISLAND PLANTATION ARTISTS’ GUILD & GALLERY 94 Village Circle, Fernandina Beach, 432-1750. An exhibit of paintings by Anthony Whiting, “Mediterranean Vistas,” is on display March 5-31. ANASTASIA BOOKS 81C King St., St. Augustine, 827-0075. Author Beth Rogero Bowen and photographer Ken Barrett are the featured guests from 5-9 p.m. on March 4 during First Friday Art Walk. ANCHOR BOUTIQUE 210 St. George Street, C2, St. Augustine, 808-7078. Joel Scille’s high-performance wood electronics are featured at the March 4 First Friday Artwalk. ARCHWAY GALLERY & FRAMING 363 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 2, Atlantic Beach, 249-2222. Hugh Verkirk’s work is on display through March 11. THE ART CENTER COOPERATIVE GALLERY 31 W. Adams St., Jacksonville, 355-1757. Elaine Bidell is the featured artist from 5-9 p.m. on March 2 for First Wednesday Art Walk. THE ART CENTER II 229 N. Hogan St., Jacksonville, 355-1757. Fashion photography and paintings are featured from 5-9 p.m. on March 2 for First Wednesday Art Walk. ARTIFACTORY GALLERY 1801 N. Myrtle St., Jacksonville, 632-2345. Historic Durkeeville’s gallery space doubles as a game room for chess players. West African Dance classes are held at 6:30 p.m. every Thur. Each class is $10; $8 for ages 12 and under. AT&T TOWER LOBBY 301 W. Bay St., Jacksonville. The Art & Soul Gallery and the Women’s Center of Jacksonville present art works celebrating Women’s History Month from 5:30-7:30 p.m. on March 2 during First Wednesday Art Walk. Live jazz performance by The Milestones. AVONDALE ARTWORKS 3568 St. Johns Ave., Jacksonville, 384-8797. The juried art exhibit “Layers: A Visual Dialogue” runs through March 15. BEE GALLERY AND STUDIO The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Ste. 108, (727) 207-3013. The gallery features works by Brenda Kato and Melissa Finelli. BETHEL GALLERY Ponte Vedra Presbyterian Church, 4510 Palm Valley Road, Ponte Vedra, 285-7241. Various media is displayed in the religious-inspired exhibit, “Splendor of God,” through March 20. For a complete list of galleries, log on to folioweekly.com. To list your event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price and contact number to print to Dan Brown, 9456 Philips Hwy., Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 or email dbrown@folioweekly.com. JPEGs must be at least 3’x5’, 300 dpi to be considered for publication.

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Want to act like a fool for a great cause? The Seventh Annual Great Bed Race is held on March 5 from 9:30 a.m.-1 p.m. at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Drive, downtown. Teams race decorated beds around the block to raise awareness about homelessness. Proceeds benefit City Rescue Mission. jacksonvillelanding.com

EVENTS

FLORIDA FORUM The Series continues with George W. Bush at 7 p.m. on March 1 at the Times-Union Center, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $70-$95. Proceeds benefit hospital programs. 202-2886. floridaforum.com CIVIL RIGHTS DISCUSSION Dr. Larry Isaac discusses “The Special Place of Nashville in the Southern Civil Rights Movement” at 7 p.m. on March 3 in Flagler College’s Gamache Theater, 50 Sevilla St., St. Augustine. Admission is free. 826-8544. flagler.edu GARDEN SHOW The annual Amelia Island Garden Show is held from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. on March 5 and 9 a.m.-4 p.m. on March 6 at Central Park, 1100 Atlantic Ave., Fernandina Beach. Flowers, plants, fruit trees, container gardens and accessories are featured. Admission is $2 for adults; kids 12 and younger admitted free. ameliagarden.com WORLD AFFAIRS The grassroots world affairs education program “Great Decisions” is held from 6:30-8 p.m. on March 6 at Main Library, 303 N. Laura St., Jacksonville. “Germany Ascendant” is the featured topic. Admission is free. “Sanctions and Nonproliferation” is discussed on March 30. 630-2665. THE GREAT BED RACE The seventh annual Bed Race — teams race decorated beds around the block to raise awareness about homelessness — is held from 9:30 a.m.-1 p.m. on March 5 at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Drive, downtown. Proceeds benefit City Rescue Mission. jacksonvillelanding.com COSMIC CONCERTS Laser Mania at 5 p.m., Laser Vinyl at 6 p.m., Hypnotica at 7 p.m. and Laser X Alternative at 8 p.m. on March 4 at Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville. Each concert is $5. 396-6674 ext. 240. moshplanetarium.org GYMNASTICS American Cup competition is held at 11:30 a.m. on March 5 at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $28.50-$99. jaxevents.com

POLITICS & ACTIVISM

SOUTHSIDE BUSINESS MEN’S CLUB Mayor John Peyton speaks at noon on March 2 at San Jose Country Club, 7529 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville. Admission is $20 for members, $25 for nonmembers. 396-5559. annie.sbmc@yahoo.com ASK-A-LAWYER The Jacksonville Bar Association holds this free legal consultation event at 9 a.m. on March 5 at Gateway Town Center, 5000 Norwood Ave., Jacksonville. 399-4486. COMMISSIONER MINER MEETINGS Commissioner Miner holds “Re-connect with the Community” meetings at 6 p.m. on March 2 at Ponte Vedra Library, 101 Library Blvd., Ponte Vedra and at 6 p.m. on March 3 at Bartram Trail Library, 60 Davis Pond Blvd., St. Johns. 209-0549. sjcfl.us JACKSONVILLE JOURNEY The oversight committee of this crime-fighting initiative meets at 4 p.m. on March 24 in Eighth Floor Conference Room 851, Ball Building, 214 N. Hogan St., Jacksonville. 630-1273.

COMMUNITY INTEREST

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CELEBRATE LIFE 5K The sixth annual 5K fitness walk and run is held at 8 a.m. on March 5 at Johnson Family YMCA, 5700 Cleveland Road, Jacksonville. 765-3589. AIR POTATO ROUNDUP The invasive air potato plant is hunted from 9 a.m.-noon on March 5 at Ft. Mose State Park, 15 Saratoga Blvd., St. Augustine. Bring gloves, wear long pants, comfy shoes. Water, bags, sunscreen provided. floridastateparks.org INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY Women worldwide campaign for peace; locally, women gather at noon on March 8 at the corner of San Marco and Museum Drive, Northbank, and cross the Acosta Bridge in solidarity. womenforwomen.org/bridge COMEDY & CUISINE The fourth annual Comedy & Cuisine Dinner Club is held at 6 p.m. on March 5 at Sawgrass Marriott Resort, 1000 PGA Tour Blvd., Ponte Vedra. Michael Joiner performs and a silent auction is held. Proceeds benefit Project SOS programs for youth and parents. Tickets are $62.50. 279-0870 ext. 402. PANCAKE DAY BENEFIT International House of Pancakes serves free pancakes from 7 a.m.-10 p.m. on March 1, National Pancake

Day, to benefit the Children’s Miracle Network program at Shands Jacksonville and Wolfson Children’s Hospital. Limit one free short stack of pancakes per customer. Participating IHOPs at ihop.com. SOUNDS ON CENTRE A free community concert is held at 6 p.m. on March 4 in downtown Fernandina Beach, between Second and Front streets. Bring a chair. downtownfernandina.com JEWISH SCHOOLS BENEFIT “The Art of Education — Takes Flight to MOCA” gala is held at 7:30 p.m. on March 5 at Museum of Contemporary Art, 333 N. Laura St., Jacksonville. Author Kimberly Miller signs copies of her book, “What Matters Most …” An art auction and live music are featured. Tickets are $50. Proceeds benefit L’Dor V’Dor Society, to enrich educational experiences at Jacksonville Jewish Center preschool, Martin Gottlieb Day School and Selevan Religious School. 366-6901. mjgds.org/jjcptamoca HOME & ART TOUR The second annual Home & Art Tour, featuring five homes in The Plantation, Sawgrass Island, Marsh Landing, and on Ponte Vedra Boulevard, is held from 10 a.m.-3 p.m. on March 5. Tickets are $30. Proceeds benefit the Cultural Center at Ponte Vedra Beach. ccpvb.org BEACHES GREEN MARKET Local produce, all-natural beef, organic eggs and coffees and crafts are offered from 2-5 p.m. every Sat. in Jarboe Park, corner of Florida Boulevard and Third Street, Neptune Beach. The Children’s Garden is worked on at 9 a.m. on March 5; bring tools. beacheslocalfoodnetwork.web

KIDS

YOUTH TENNIS JAMBOREE JaxParks and Jacksonville Youth Tennis Association offer the 10 & Under tennis program (QuickStart format) at local facilities. A free Jamboree is held from 10-11:30 a.m. on March 5 at Southside Tennis Center, 1541 Hendricks Ave., from 1:30-3 p.m. at Boone Park Center, 3700 Park St., and 1:30-3 p.m. on March 6 at Burnett Park Courts, 3740 Burnett Park Rd. For reservations, email JYTAjam@gmail. com or call 262-1399. jaxparks.com LIBRARY EVENTS After-school crafts are offered from 4-5 p.m. on March 2 at Ponte Vedra branch, 101 Library Blvd., Ponte Vedra. Family story time is held at 11 a.m. every Tue. sjcpls.org

BOOKS & WRITING

HUMANIST BOOK DISCUSSION Charles Pierce’s “Idiot America” is discussed at 2 p.m. on March 6 at Borders Books and Music, 8801 Southside Blvd., Jacksonville. 996-1553. SHERIFF RUTHERFORD Florida Sisters in Crime present speaker Jacksonville Sheriff John Rutherford at 10:30 a.m. on March 5 at Southeast Library, 10599 Deerwood Park Blvd., Jacksonville. Admission is free. floridasistersincrime.com

COMEDY

GEORGE LOPEZ Star of stage, screen and TV, Lopez appears at 8 p.m. on March 4 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. Tickets are $46.50 and $65.50. 355-2787. COMEDY ZONE All Stars on March 1 and 2. Rob Schneider appears at 8 and 10 p.m. on March 4 and 5 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Road, in the Ramada Inn, Jacksonville. Tickets are $30 and $35. 292-4242. JACKIE KNIGHT’S COMEDY CLUB Ventriloquist Peter Hefty and Travis Howze appear on March 4 and 5 at Jackie Knight’s Comedy Club, 3009 N. Ponce de Leon Blvd., St. Augustine (U.S. 1 & S.R. 16). Tickets are $12. Comedy open mic night is held at 8 p.m. every Thur.; tickets are $5. 461-8843. FIRST SUNDAYS COMEDY BET and DEF Comedy Jam comic Damon Williams appears at 8 p.m. on March 6 at Leopard Lounge, 845 University Blvd. N., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $15; $20 at the door. 365-8816. focusedoncomedy.net

UPCOMING

CELEBRITY CHEFS BENEFIT March 10, Osborn Center CONCOURS D’ELEGANCE March 11-13, Amelia Island HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS March 11, Veterans Memorial Arena GATE RIVER RUN March 12, Downtown Jax

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Average Entrée Cost: $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer, Wine FB = Full Bar CM = Children’s Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast L = Lunch D = Dinner F = Folio Weekly distribution point Send changes to mdryden@folioweekly.com

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH, YULEE (In Fernandina Beach unless otherwise noted.)

THE BEECH STREET GRILL Fine dining is offered in a casual atmosphere. The menu includes fresh local seafood, steaks and pasta dishes created with a variety of ethnic influences. Awardwinning wine list. FB. L, Wed.-Fri.; D, nightly; Sun. brunch. 801 Beech St. 277-3662. $$$ BEEF O’BRADY’S FAMILY SPORTS PUB F Signature wings, burgers and sandwiches. BW. TO. L & D, daily. 1916 S. 14th St. 261-0555. (For more locations, visit beefobradys.com) $$ BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ F At the foot of Centre Street, the upscale restaurant overlooks the Harbor Marina. The menu includes daily specials, fresh Florida seafood and an extensive wine list. FB. L & D, daily. 1 S. Front St. 261-2660. $$$ BRIGHT MORNINGS F The small café offers freshly baked goods. B & L daily. 105 S. Third St. 491-1771. $$ CAFÉ 4750 An Italian kitchen and wine bar. Chef de Cuisine Garrett Gooch offers roasted sea bass, frutti di mare soup, clam linguini, panatela bruschetta and fresh gelatos. Dine indoors or on the terrace. FB. B, L & D, daily. 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., The Ritz-Carlton, Amelia Island. 277-1100. $$$ CAFÉ KARIBO F Eclectic cuisine, served under the oaks in historic Fernandina, features sandwiches and chef’s specials. Alfresco dining. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sat.; L, Sun. & Mon. 27 N. Third St. 277-5269. $$ CHEZ LEZAN BAKERY F European-style breads, pastries, croissants, muffins and pies baked daily. 1014 Atlantic Ave. 491-4663. $ EIGHT Contemporary sports lounge offers burgers, sandwiches, wings and nachos. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Fri. & Sat. The RitzCarlton, Amelia Island, 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., Amelia Island. 277-1100. $$ ESPAÑA RESTAURANT & TAPAS Traditional Spanish and Portuguese dishes, tapas and paella are served in a cozy atmosphere. BW, CM. D nightly. 22 S. Fourth St. 261-7700. $$$ FERNANDELI F Classics with a Southern touch, like a onethird-pound devil dog, Reubens and pulled pork. Sandwiches and wraps built to order from fresh cold cuts, tuna, egg and turkey salads. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 17B S. Eighth St. 261-0008. $ GENERAL STORE F This new store has a little bit of everything. Breakfast includes hot rope sausage, lunch features the Redneck Reuben. Deli meats, cheeses, chicken, fish, pizzas and pasta, too. BW. B, L & D, daily. 520 Centre St. 310-6080. $ GENNARO’S RISTORANTE ITALIANO F Southern Italian cuisine: pasta, gourmet ravioli, hand-tossed pizzas. Specialties are margharita pizza and shrimp feast. Bread is baked on-site. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 5 S. Second St., 261-9400. 5472 First Coast Highway, Amelia Island, 491-1999. $$ HAPPY TOMATO COURTYARD CAFE & BBQ F Pulled pork sandwich, chicken salad and walnut chocolate chunk cookie, served in a laid-back atmosphere. BW. CM. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 7 S. Third St. 321-0707. $$ JACK & DIANE’S F Casual cafe offers steak & eggs, pancakes, Cajun scampi, etouffée, curry pizza, vegan black bean cakes, shrimp & grits, hand-carved steaks. FB. B, L & D, daily. 708 Centre St. 321-1444. $$ JOE’S 2ND STREET BISTRO Elegant island atmosphere. NY strip steak with sauces, Maine crab cakes, seafood fricassee and roast chicken penne pasta. BW. CM. D, nightly. 14 S. Second St. 321-2558. $$$ KABUKI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE & SUSHI BAR F Teppanyaki masters create your meal; plus a 37-item sushi bar. BW. D, Tue.Sun. Amelia Plaza. 277-8782. $$ KELLEY’S COURTYARD CAFE F She crab soup, salads, fried green tomatoes, sandwiches and wraps are served indoors or out on the patio. Vegetarian dishes are also offered. L & D, Mon.Sat. 19 S. Third St. 432-8213. $ MONTEGO BAY COFFEE CAFE F Locally owned and operated, serving specialty coffees and fruit smoothies. Dine in or hit the drive-thru. B & L, Mon.-Sat. 463363 S.R. 200, Yulee. 225-3600. $ MOON RIVER PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Northern-style pizza by the pie or the slice. Choose from more than 20 toppings. Owner-selected wines and a large beer selection. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 925 S. 14th St. 321-3400. $ THE MUSTARD SEED CAFE Organic eatery and juice bar. Extensive, eclectic menu featuring vegetarian and vegan items. Daily specials: local seafood, free-range chicken and fresh organic produce. Wraps, sandwiches, soups. CM. B & L, Mon.Sat. 833 T.J. Courson Rd. 277-3141. $$ O’KANE’S IRISH PUB F Rustic, genuine Irish pub up front, eatery in back, featuring daily specials, fish-n-chips, and soups served in a sourdough bread bowl. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sun. 318 Centre St. 261-1000. $$ PEPPER’S MEXICAN GRILL & CANTINA F The family restaurant offers authentic Mexican cuisine. BW, CM. L & D, daily.

nightly. 277-2132. $$$ SALT, THE GRILL Best of Jax 2010 winner. Elegant dining featuring local seafood and produce, served in a contemporary coastal setting. FB. D, Tue.-Sat. 4750 AmeliaOF Island Pkwy., The PROMISE BENEFIT Ritz-Carlton, Amelia Island. 491-6746. $$$$ SANDOLLAR RESTAURANT & MARINA F Dine inside or on the deck. Snow crab legs, fresh fish, shellfish dishes. FB. L & D, daily. 9716 Heckscher Dr., Ft. George Island. 251-2449. $$ SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL F Oceanfront dining; local seafood, shrimp, crab cakes, outdoor beachfront tiki & raw bar, covered deck and kids’ playground. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1998 S. Fletcher Ave. 277-6652. $$ THE SURF F Dine inside or on large oceanview deck. Steaks, fresh fish, shrimp and nightly specials. Late-night menu. FB. L & D, daily. 3199 S. Fletcher Ave. 261-5711. $$ T-RAY’S BURGER STATION F A favorite local spot; Best of Jax 2010 winner. Grilled or blackened fish sandwiches, homemade burgers. BW, TO. B & L, Mon.-Sat. 202 S. Eighth St. 261-6310. $ 29 SOUTH EATS F Part of historic Fernandina Beach’s downtown scene. Award-winning Chef Scotty serves traditional world cuisine with a modern twist. L, Tue.-Sat.; D, Mon.-Sat.; Sun. brunch. 29 S. Third St. 277-7919. $$

FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 “BEST INDIAN CUISINE”

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INDIA’S

RIVERSIDE’S NEIGHBORHOOD BAKERY

9802-8 Baymeadows Rd. • 620-0777 • visit indiajax.com

869 Stockton St, #6 p 904.389.7117 Open Tuesday-Saturday 7:30am-5:30pm

RESTAURANT

Try our lunch specials today!

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

EAST COAST BUFFET F A 160+ item Chinese, Japanese, American and Italian buffet. Dine in, take out. FB. L & D, Mon.Sat.; Sun. brunch. 9569 Regency Sq. Blvd. N. 726-9888. $$ GENE’S SEAFOOD F Serving fresh Mayport shrimp, fish, oysters, scallops, gator tail, steaks and combos. L & D, daily. 6132 Merrill Rd. 744-2333. $$ LA NOPALERA Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Intracoastal. 8818 Atlantic Blvd. 720-0106. ORANGE TREE HOT DOGS F Orange Tree serves hot dogs with slaw, chili cheese or sauerkraut, as well as personal size pizzas. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 9501 Arlington Expwy., Regency Square. 721-3595. (For locations, visit orangetreehotdogs.com) $ PITA EXPRESS Philly, chicken fajita, falafel, chicken Caesar salad and eggplant parmigiana pitas, plus omelets and pancakes. CM. B, L & D, daily. 2754 Trollie Lane. 674-2637. $ REGENCY ALE HOUSE & RAW BAR F Generous portions and friendly service in a nautical atmosphere. Fresh fish, specialty pastas, fresh oysters and clams. BW. L & D, daily. 9541 Regency Square Blvd. S. 720-0551. $$ TREY’S DELI & GRILL F Fresh food served in a relaxed atmosphere. Burgers, Trey’s Reuben, deli sandwiches, pork, steaks, seafood, pies. Prime rib specials every Fri. night. CM, BW. L & D, Mon.-Fri. 2044 Rogero Rd. 744-3690. $$

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

BEETHOVEN’S BAGEL BISTRO All-day breakfast menu with French toast and bagels. Lunch is deli fare, wraps, Reubens, paninis; dinner offers paella, chicken & dumplings. CM, BYOB. B, L & D, Wed.-Sat.; B & L, Sun. & Sat. 5917 Roosevelt Blvd. 771-6606. $$ BISCOTTIS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Mozzarella bruschetta, Avondale pizza, sandwiches, espresso, cappuccino. Revolving daily specials. B, Tue.-Sun.; L & D, daily. 3556 St. Johns Ave. 387-2060. $$$ THE BLUE FISH RESTAURANT & OYSTER BAR Fresh seafood, steaks and more are served in a casual atmosphere. Halfportions are available. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 3551 St. Johns Ave., Shoppes of Avondale. 387-0700. $$$ BRICK RESTAURANT F Creative all-American fare like tuna tartare, seaweed salad and Kobe burger. Outside dining. FB. L & D, daily. 3585 St. Johns Ave. 387-0606. $$$ THE CASBAH F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Middle Eastern cuisine is served in a friendly atmosphere. BW. L & D, daily. 3628 St. Johns Ave. 981-9966. $$ ESPETO BRAZILIAN STEAK HOUSE F Gauchos carve the meat onto your plate from serving tables. FB. D, Tue.-Sun., closed Mon. 4000 St. Johns Ave., Ste. 40. 388-4884. $$$ THE FOX RESTAURANT F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The Fox has been a Jacksonville landmark for 50-plus years. Ian and Mary Chase serve classic diner-style fare, featuring homemade desserts. B & L daily. 3580 St. Johns Ave. 387-2669. $ ORSAY Best of Jax 2010 winner. The French/American bistro focuses on craftsmanship and service. FB. D, Tues.-Sat. 3630 Park St. 381-0909. $$$ RUAN THAI The elegant Avondale restaurant offers authentic Thai cuisine, including curries and pad dishes. CM, FB. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 3951 St. Johns Ave. 384-6665. $$$ TOM & BETTY’S F A Jacksonville tradition for more than 30 years, Tom & Betty’s serves hefty sandwiches with classic car themes, along with homemade-style dishes. CM, FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4409 Roosevelt Blvd. 387-3311. $$ ’town Owner Meghan Purcell and Executive Chef Scott Ostrander bring the farm-to-table concept to Northeast Florida with their new Avondale restaurant, offering American fare with an emphasis on sustainability. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 3611 St. Johns Ave. 345-2596. $$

MARCH 1-7, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 35

Walter Coker

Family-owned-and-operated Casa Maria serves muchas grande margaritas, authentic Mexican fare and the specialty, tacos de azada, on Jacksonville’s North Main Street, not far from River City Marketplace.

BAYMEADOWS

AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 8060 Philips Hwy. 731-4300. $ BROADWAY RISTORANTE & PIZZERIA F Family-owned-andoperated New York-style pizzeria serves hand-tossed, brickoven-baked pizza, and traditional Italian dinners, wings, subs. Dine-in or delivered. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 10920 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 3. 519-8000. $$ BOWL OF PHO This restaurant offers traditional Vietnamese noodle soup and authentic favorites like spring rolls, shrimp wraps and egg rolls. Big portions and a laid-back atmosphere. 9902 Old Baymeadows Rd. 646-4455. $$ CHA-CHA’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT Owner Celso Alvarado offers authentic Mexican fare with 26 combo dinners and specialty dishes including chalupas, enchiladas and burritos. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 9551 Baymeadows Rd. 737-9903. $$ CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F Chicago-style deep-dish pizzas, hot dogs, Italian beef dishes from the Comastro family, serving authentic Windy City favorites for 25+ years. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 8206 Philips Hwy. 731-9797. $$$ DEERWOOD DELI & DINER F The ’50s-style diner serves malts, shakes, Reubens, Cubans, burgers, and traditional breakfast items. CM. B & L, daily. 9934 Old Baymeadows Rd. 641-4877. $$ THE FIFTH ELEMENT F The first four elements are earth, water, air and fire — but here they prepare authentic Indian, South Indian and Indochinese dishes with artistic flair. Lunch buffet includes lamb, goat, chicken, tandoori and biryani items. CM. L & D, daily. 9485 Baymeadows Rd. 448-8265. $$ GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F See Orange Park. 8650 Baymeadows Rd. 448-0500. $$ INDIA RESTAURANT F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Extensive menu of entrées, clay-oven grilled Tandoori specialties and chicken tandoor, fish, seafood and korma. L, Mon.-Sat., D, daily. 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8. 620-0777. $$ LARRY’S GIANT SUBS F With locations all over Northeast Florida, Larry’s piles subs up with fresh fixins and serves ’em fast. Some Larry’s Subs offer B & W and/or serve breakfast. CM. L & D, daily. 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9 (Goodby’s Creek), 737-7740; 8616 Baymeadows Rd. 739-2498. larryssubs.com $ LEMONGRASS F Upscale Thai cuisine in a metropolitan atmosphere. Chef Aphayasane’s innovative creations include roast duckling and fried snapper. BW. R. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.Sat. 9846 Old Baymeadows Rd. 645-9911. $$ MANDALOUN MEDITERRANEAN CUISINE F This Lebanese restaurant offers authentic Mediterranean cuisine: lahm meshwe, kafta khoshkhas and baked filet of red snapper. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9862 Old Baymeadows Rd. 646-1881. $$ MAYURI INDIAN CUISINE F Traditional Indian items include tandoori specials, South Indian, Indo-Chinese, vegetarian, biryani and thali style dishes. BW. L & D. 9551 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 10. 448-5999. $$ NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The organic supermarket offers a full deli and a hot bar with fresh soups, quesadillas, rotisserie chicken and vegan sushi, as well as a fresh juice and smoothie bar. 11030 Baymeadows Rd. 260-2791. $ OMAHA STEAKHOUSE Center-cut beef, fresh seafood and sandwiches served in an English tavern atmosphere. The signature dish is a 16-ounce bone-in ribeye. Desserts include

36 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 1-7, 2011

crème brûlée. FB. L & D, daily. 9300 Baymeadows Rd., Embassy Suites Hotel. 739-6633. $$ PATTAYA THAI GRILLE F Serving traditional Thai and vegetarian items and a 40-plus item vegetarian menu in a contemporary atmosphere. B/W. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 9551 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1. 646-9506. $$ PIZZA PALACE F See San Marco. 3928 Baymeadows Rd. 527-8649. $$ STICKY FINGERS F See Beaches. 8129 Point Meadows Way. 493-7427. $$

BEACHES

(In Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.) A LA CARTE Authentic New England fare like Maine lobster rolls, fried Ipswich clams, crab or clam cake sandwich, fried shrimp basket, haddock sandwich, clam chowdah, birch beer and blueberry soda. Dine inside or on the deck. TO. L, Fri.-Tue. 331 First Ave. N. 241-2005. $$ AL’S PIZZA F Serving hand-tossed gourmet pizzas, calzones and Italian entrees for more than 21 years. Voted Best Pizza by Folio Weekly readers from 1996-2010. BW. L & D, daily. 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 249-0002. $ ANGIE’S SUBS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Subs are made-toorder fresh. Serious casual. Wicked good iced tea. 1436 Beach Blvd. 246-2519. $ ATOMIC FLYING FISH SEAFOOD TACO GRILL F Beach- casual with Cali-style fish, steak, blackened gator tacos and sides. L & D, daily. 309 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 372-0882. $$ BEACH BUDS CHICKEN F This cozy, family-owned place serves marinated fried or baked chicken: family meals (kids like Peruvian nuggets), giant tenders, in box lunches and as Mini-Me sandwiches, along with gizzards, livers, 15 sides and fried or blackened shrimp, fish, conch fritters, deviled crabs. TO. L & D, daily. 1289 Penman Road. 247-2828. $ BEACHSIDE SEAFOOD RESTAURANT & MARKET F The full fresh seafood market serves seafood baskets, fish tacos, oyster baskets and Philly cheesesteaks. Dine indoors or outside. Beach delivery. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 120 S. Third St. 444-8862. $$ BONGIORNO’S PHILLY STEAK SHOP F South Philly’s Bongiorno family imports Amoroso rolls for Real Deal cheese-steak, Original Gobbler, clubs, wraps, burgers and dogs. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 2294 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach. 246-3278. $$ BONO’S PIT BAR-B-Q F Baby back ribs, fried corn, sweet potatoes. BW. L & D, daily. 1307 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 270-2666. 1266 S. Third St. 249-8704. bonosbarbq.com $ THE BRASSERIE & BAR This new French/European-style bistro and bar offers coq au vin, French onion soup, fritto misto, Moroccan-style lamb shank. FB. D, Tue.-Sun. 1312 Beach Blvd. 249-5800. $$$ BUDDHA’S BELLY Authentic Thai dishes made with fresh ingredients using tried-and-true recipes. FB, TO. L & D, daily. 301 10th Ave. N. 712-4444. $$ BURRITO CANTINA This hole-in-the-wall serves big burritos and big beers. TO. L & D, daily. 22 Seminole Rd., Atlantic Beach. 246-2000. $ CAMPECHE BAY CANTINA F Homemade-style Mexican items are fajitas, enchiladas and fried ice cream, plus margaritas. FB. D, nightly. 127 First Ave. N. 249-3322. $$ CARIBBEE KEY F Best of Jax 2010 winner. AmerCaribbean

PROMISE OF BENEFIT

cuisine includes seafood, steaks and sandwiches. Open-air deck bar upstairs; outdoor dining downstairs. FB. L & D, daily. 100 N. First St., Neptune Beach. 270-8940. $$ CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows. 320 N. First St. 270-8565. $$ COPPER TOP SOUTHERN AMERICAN CUISINE F The menu features favorites from The Homestead, like fried chicken, homemade-style biscuits and cornbread, served in a family atmosphere inside a cozy log cabin. CM, FB. Sun. brunch; D, daily. 1712 Beach Blvd. 249-4776. $$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2010 winner, serving burgers, sandwiches, nachos, tacos, quesadillas and cheese fries. 319 23rd Ave. S. 270-0356. $ CULHANE’S IRISH PUB F Four Culhane sisters own and operate the authentic Irish pub, featuring Guy Fieri’s (“Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives”) fave items — Guinness stew, lamb sliders and fish pie. L, Fri.-Sun.; D, Tue.-Sun.; weekend brunch. FB, CM. 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 249-9595. $$ DWIGHT’S The Mediterranean-style bistro features fresh local seafood, filet mignon, mixed grill and an extensive wine list. D, Tue.-Sat. 1527 Penman Rd. 241-4496. $$$$ ENGINE 15 BREWING COMPANY F This new Jax Beach restaurant serves gastropub fare like soups, salads, flatbreads and specialty sandwiches, including BarBe-Cuban and beer dip. Daily specials, too. CM, BW. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217. 249-2337. $ EUROPEAN STREET See San Marco. 992 Beach Blvd. 249-3001. $ FIONN MACCOOL’S IRISH PUB & RESTAURANT Casual dining with uptown Irish flair, including fish and chips, Guinness beef stew and black-and-tan brownies. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 333 N. First St. 242-9499. $$ THE FISH COMPANY F Fresh, local seafood is served, including Mayport shrimp, fish baskets, grilled tuna and an oyster bar. L & D, daily. CM, FB. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 12, Atlantic Beach. 246-0123. $$ HALA SANDWICH SHOP & BAKERY Authentic Middle Eastern favorites include gyros, shwarma, pita bread, made fresh daily. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 1451 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 249-2212. $$ HOT DOG HUT F Best of Jax 2010 winner. All-beef hot dogs, sausages, hamburgers, crab cakes, beer-battered onion rings and French fries. B. L, daily. 1439 Third St. S. 247-8886. $ ICHIBAN F Three dining areas: teppan or hibachi tables (watch a chef prepare your food), a sushi bar and Western-style seating offering tempura and teriyaki. FB, Japanese plum wine. L & D, daily. 675 N. Third St. 247-4688. $$ LYNCH’S IRISH PUB F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The fullservice restaurant offers corned beef and cabbage, Shepherd’s pie and fish-n-chips. 30+ beers on tap. FB. L, Sat. & Sun., D, daily. 514 N. First St. 249-5181. $$ MEZZA LUNA RISTORANTE F A Beaches tradition for 20+ years. Favorites are Szechuan ahi tuna, lasagna Bolognese and wood-fired pizza. Inside or patio. Extensive wine list. CM, FB. D, Mon.-Sat. 110 First St., Neptune Beach. 249-5573. $$$ MIMI’S SPORTS GRILLE East meets West: Every dish is infused with Asian style and ingredients, including lumpia, yaki tori and several kinds of sushi. FB. L & D daily. 1021 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 270-1030. $$ MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT & BLUES BAR F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Traditional slow-cooked Southern barbecue served in a blues bar atmosphere. Favorites are pulled pork, Texas brisket and slow-cooked ribs. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1500 Beach Blvd. 247-6636. $$ MONKEY’S UNCLE TAVERN F For 25 years, Monkey’s has served pub grub, burgers, sandwiches, seafood and wings. Dine inside or out on the patio. FB. L & D, daily. 1850 S. Third St. 246-1070. $ NORTH BEACH BISTRO F Casual dining with an elegant touch, like slow-cooked veal osso buco with truffled mushroom risotto; calypso crusted mahi mahi with spiced plantain chips. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach. 372-4105. $$$ OCEAN 60 Best of Jax 2010 winner. A prix fixe menu is offered. Continental cuisine, with fresh seafood, nightly specials and a changing seasonal menu. Dine in a formal dining room or casual Martini Room. D, Mon.-Sat. 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 247-0060. $$$ PACO’S MEXICAN GRILL Serving Baja-style Mexican cuisine, featuring carne asada, tacos, burritos, fish tacos and shrimp burritos. CM, FB. B, L & D, daily. 333 First St. N. 208-5097. $ PARSONS SEAFOOD RESTAURANT F The family-style restaurant has an outdoor patio and an extensive menu, including the mariner’s platter and the Original Dreamboat. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 904 Sixth Ave. S. 249-0608. $$ PHILLY’S FINEST Authentic Philly-style cheesesteaks are made with imported Amorosa rolls. Hoagies, wings and pizza ... cold beer, too. FB. L & D, daily. 1527 N. Third St. 241-7188. $$ RAGTIME TAVERN SEAFOOD GRILL F The Beaches landmark serves grilled seafood with a Cajun/Creole accent. Hand-crafted cold beer. FB. L & D, daily. 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 241-7877. $$ SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK F An array of specialty menu items, including signature tuna poke bowl, fresh rolled sushi, Ensenada tacos and local fried shrimp, in a casual, trendy open-air space. FB, TO, CM. L & D, daily. 1018 Third St. N. 372-4456. $$

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SNEAKERS SPORTS GRILLE F Best of Jax 2010 winner. 111 Beach Blvd. 482-1000. $$ STICKY FINGERS F Memphis-style rib house specializes in barbecue ribs served several ways. FB. L & D, daily. 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 241-RIBS. $$ SUN DOG STEAK & SEAFOOD F Eclectic American fare, art deco décor with an authentic diner feel. FB. L & D, daily; Sun. brunch. 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 241-8221. $$ TACOLU BAJA MEXICANA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Fresh, Baja-style Mexican fare, with a focus on fish tacos and tequila, as well as fried che ese, bangin’ shrimp and verde chicken tacos. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 1183 Beach Blvd. 249-TACO (8226). $$ THAI ROOM RESTAURANT F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Dine in an intimate setting as Chef Thepsouvanh prepares Thai cuisine like crispy duck or pan-seared Chilean sea bass. BW. L, Mon.-Fri. D, Mon.-Sat. 1286 S. Third St. 249-8444. $$$ THE WINE BAR The casual neighborhood place has a tapas-style menu, fire-baked flatbreads and a wine selection. Tue.-Sun. 320 N. First St. 372-0211. $$

DOWNTOWN

(The Jacksonville Landing venues are at 2 Independent Drive)

ADAMS STREET DELI & GRILL F The lunch spot serves wraps, including grilled chicken, and salads, including Greek salad. L, Mon.-Fri. 126 W. Adams St. 475-1400. $$ BURRITO GALLERY & BAR F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Southwest cuisine, traditional American salads. Burritos and more burritos. Onsite art gallery. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 21 E. Adams St. 598-2922. $ CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows. The Jacksonville Landing. 354-7747. $$$ CITY HALL PUB On the Trolley route. A sports bar vibe: 16 big-screen HDTVs. Angus burgers, dogs, sandwiches & sides, AYCE wings buffet, soup-n-salad. FB. Free downtown area lunch delivery. L & D, daily. 234 Randolph Blvd. 356-6750. $$ DE REAL TING CAFE F The popular restaurant offers a Caribbean lunch buffet Tue.-Fri. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 128 W. Adams St. 633-9738. $ INDOCHINE Serving Thai and Southeast Asian cuisine in the core of downtown. Signature dishes include favorites like chicken Satay, soft shell crab, and mango and sticky rice for dessert. BW, FB, TO. L, Mon.-Fri., D, Tue.-Sat. 21 E. Adams St. 598-5303. $$ JENKINS QUALITY BARBECUE Family-owned-and-operated. Jenkins offers beef, pork, chicken, homemade desserts. L & D, daily. 830 N. Pearl St. 353-6388. $ JULIETTE’S & J-BAR Serving dinner before (or dessert after) a show. Breakfast buffet. J-Bar serves bistro-inspired small plates. FB. Daily. Omni Hotel, 245 W. Water St. 355-6664. $$$ KOJA SUSHI F Sushi, Japanese, Asian and Korean cuisine. Indoor and outdoor dining and bar. FB. L & D, daily. The Jacksonville Landing. 350-9911. $$ THE SKYLINE DINING & CONFERENCE CENTER Weekday lunch includes salad bar, hot meals and a carving station. L, Mon.-Fri.; L, Sun. upon request. FB. 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 3550. 791-9797. $$ ZODIAC GRILL F Serving Mediterranean cuisine and American favorites, with a popular lunch buffet. BW. B & L, daily. 120 W. Adams St. 354-8283. $

FLEMING ISLAND

CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows. 406 Old Hard Road, Ste. 106. 213-7779. $$$ GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET F See Riverside. B, L & D, Mon.-Sat.; L, Sun. 1915 East West Pkwy., 541-0009. $ HONEY B’S CAFE Breakfast includes omelets, pancakes, French toast. Lunch offers entrée salads, quiches and build-your-own burgers. Peanut butter pie is a customer favorite. Tea parties are held every Sat. B & L, daily. 3535 U.S. 17, Ste. 8. 264-7325. $$ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Intracoastal. 1571 C.R. 220, Ste. 100. 215-2223. $ MERCURY MOON F Appetizers, sandwiches, desserts. Daily specials. TO, FB. L & D, daily. 2015 C.R. 220. 215-8999. $$ MOJO SMOKEHOUSE F Best of Jax 2010 winner. FB. L & D, daily. 1810 Town Ctr. Blvd. 264-0636. $$ ROCKIN RODZ BAR & GRILLE This place offers fresh fare, like Stratocaster shrimp, Hot Rod gumbo and handmade gourmet Angus burgers, served in a rockin’, upscale casual atmosphere. Dine indoors or out. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 2574 C.R. 220, Stes. 4-7. 276-2000. $$ WHITEY’S FISH CAMP F This renowned seafood place, familyowned since 1963, specializes in AYCE freshwater catfish. Also steaks, pastas. Outdoor waterfront dining. Come by car, boat or bike. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 2032 C.R. 220. 269-4198. $

INTRACOASTAL

AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 14286 Beach Blvd. (at San Pablo Rd.) 223-0991. $ BRUCCI’S PIZZA, PASTA, PANINIS F Brucci’s offers authentic New York-style pizza, Italian pastas and desserts in a family atmosphere. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 36. 223-6913. $ CLIFF’S ROCKIN’ BAR-N-GRILL F Cliff’s features 8-ounce burgers, wings, steak, seafood, homemade pizza and daily

MARCH 1-7, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 37

JULINGTON, NW ST. JOHNS

BLACKSTONE GRILLE The menu blends flavors from a variety of cultures and influences for modern American fusion cuisine, served in a bistro-style setting. FB. L & D, Mon.-Fri., D, Sat.; Sun. brunch. 112 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 102. 287-0766. $$$ BRUCCI’S PIZZA F See Intracoastal. 540 S.R. 13, Ste. 10, Fruit Cove. 287-8317. $$ CHICAGO PIZZA BAKERY & PUB F Transforms from family restaurant to pub serving Chicago-style deep dish pizza. CM, FB. D, Tue.-Fri., L & D, Sat. & Sun. 107 Nature Walk Pkwy., Ste. 101, 230-9700. $$ HAPPY OURS SPORTS GRILLE F Features wings, big salads, burgers, wraps and sandwiches. Sports events on HDTVs. CM, FB. 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 101. 683-1964. $ PIZZA PALACE F See San Marco. 116 Bartram Oaks Walk. 230-2171. $ RUSSO’S ITALIAN RESTAURANT F Traditional Italian cuisine includes veal, eggplant, seafood, steak. CM. D, Tue.-Sun. 2750 Race Track Rd., Ste. 106, Plantation Plaza. 287-4111. $$

MANDARIN

AL’S PIZZA Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 11190 San Jose Blvd. 260-4115. $ AW SHUCKS F This seafood place features an oyster bar, steaks, seafood, chicken wings and pasta. Favorites include ahi tuna, shrimp & grits, oysters Rockefeller, pitas and kabobs. Sweet potato puffs are the signature side item. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9743 Old St. Augustine Rd. 240-0368. $$ THE BLUE CRAB CRABHOUSE F Maryland-style crabhouse featuring fresh blue crabs, garlic crabs, King, Snow and Dungeness crab legs. FB, CM. D, Tue.-Sat.; L & D, Sun. 3057 Julington Creek Rd. 260-2722. $$ BROOKLYN PIZZA F The traditional pizzeria serves New Yorkstyle pizza, specialty pies, and subs, strombolis and calzones. BW. L & D, daily. 11406 San Jose Blvd. 288-9211. 13820 St. Augustine Rd. 880-0020. $ CASA MARIA F See Springfield. L & D, daily. 14965 Old St. Augustine Rd. 619-8186. $$ CLARK’S FISH CAMP F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Clark’s has steak, ribs, AYCE catfish dinners, 3-pound prime rib. Dine in, out or in a creek-view glass-enclosed room. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Sat. & Sun. 12903 Hood Landing Rd. 268-3474. $$ DON JUAN’S RESTAURANT F Authentic Mexican dishes prepared daily from scratch, served in a casual atmosphere. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 12373 San Jose Blvd. 268-8722. $$ GIGI’S RESTAURANT Breakfast buffet served daily, lunch buffet weekdays. The Comedy Zone (Best of Jax 2010 winner) has an appetizer menu. FB. B, L & D, daily. I-295 & San Jose Blvd. (Ramada Inn). 268-8080. $$ (Fri. & Sat. buffet, $$$) HALA CAFE & BAKERY F See Southside. 9735 Old St. Augustine Rd. 288-8890. $$ KOBE JAPANESE RESTAURANT The fusion-style sushi restaurant offers oyster shooters, kobe beef shabu-shabu, Chilean sea bass and filet mignon. BW & sake. L & D, daily. 11362 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 8. 288-7999. $$ LET’S NOSH F The authentic Jewish deli offers a full breakfast, lunch, brunch and full-service deli counter. Real New York water bagels, bread baked on site and desserts. CM. B & L, daily. 9850 San Jose Blvd. 683-8346. $ MAMA FU’S ASIAN HOUSE MSG-free pan-Asian cuisine prepared to order in woks using fresh ingredients. Authentic Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese and Thai dishes. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 11105 San Jose Blvd. 260-1727. $$ MANDARIN ALE HOUSE A laid-back atmosphere with 30-plus beers on tap. FB. L & D, daily. 11112 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 19. 292-0003. $$

38 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 1-7, 2011

NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Organic supermarket with full deli and salad bar serving wraps, quesadillas, chopped salads, vegetarian dishes. Fresh juice and smoothie bar. Indoor and outdoor seating. Mon.-Sat. 10000 San Jose Blvd. 260-6950. $ WHOLE FOODS MARKET F 100+ prepared items at a full-service and self-service hot bar, soup bar, dessert bar. Madeto-order Italian specialties from a brick oven pizza hearth. L & D, daily. 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 22. 288-1100. $$

Dustin Hegedus

specials. FB. L & D, daily. Smoking permitted. 3033 Monument Rd., Ste. 2, Cobblestone Plaza. 645-5162. $$ ISTANBUL MEDITERRANEAN & ITALIAN CUISINE The varied menu offers European cuisine including lamb, beef and chicken dishes, as well as pizza and wraps. BW. L & D, daily. 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 26. 220-9192. $$ JERRY’S SPORTS GRILLE & STEAKHOUSE F The menu includes wings, hamburgers, Ahi tuna and handcut steaks. CM, FB. Daily. 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 22. 220-6766. $ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The family-ownedand-operated restaurant serves authentic Mexican cuisine, like tamales, fajitas and pork tacos, in a casual family atmosphere. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 14333 Beach Blvd. 992-1666. $ MILANO’S RESTAURANT & PIZZERIA Homemade Italian cuisine, including breads, pizzas, calzones and specialty dishes. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 12620 Beach Blvd., Ste. 4. 646-9119. $$ TIME OUT SPORTS GRILL F Wings, gourmet pizza, fresh seafood and specialty wraps. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Sat. & Sun. 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5. 223-6999. $$ TKO’S THAI HUT F The menu offers Thai fusion, curry dishes, chef’s specials, steaks and healthy options. Sushi, too. Hookahs are also available. Dine inside or on the covered patio. FB. L & D, daily. 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 46. 647-7546. $$ ZAITOON MEDITERRANEAN GRILL Traditional Mediterranean family recipes are blended to create Spanish, French, Italian and Middle Eastern inspired dishes. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 13475 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 40, Harbour Village. 221-7066. $$

ORANGE PARK

GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F For 18-plus years, the sports-themed family restaurant has served wings, ribs, entrees, sandwiches. FB. L & D, daily. 9680 Argyle Forest Blvd. 425-6466. $$ THE HILLTOP CLUB She-crab soup, scallops, prime beef, wagyu beef, chicken Florentine, stuffed grouper. Chef Nick’s salmon is a favorite. FB. D, Tue.-Sat. 2030 Wells Rd. 272-5959. $$ JOEY MOZARELLAS This Italian restaurant’s specialty is the 24-slice pizza: 18”x26” of fresh ingredients and sauces made daily. CM, TO. L & D, daily. 930 Blanding Blvd. 579-4748. $$ POMPEII COAL-FIRED PIZZA F Pizzas are baked in coal-fired ovens. Popular pizzas include Health Choice and Mozzarella. Coal-fired sandwiches and wings, too. BW. L & D, daily. 2134 Park Ave. 264-6116. $$ THE ROADHOUSE F Burgers, wings, deli sandwiches, popular lunches. FB. L & D, daily. 231 Blanding Blvd. 264-0611. $ THAI GARDEN F Traditional Thai cuisine made with fresh ingredients, served in a relaxed atmosphere. Curry dishes and specialty selections with authentic Thai flavors. BW. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, nightly. 10 Blanding Blvd., Ste. A. 272-8434. $$

PONTE VEDRA, NE ST. JOHNS

AL’S PIZZA F Homemade breads, pizza, white pizza, calzones and Italian entrees. Voted Best Pizza in Jax by Folio Weekly readers from 1996-2010. BW. L & D, daily. 635 A1A. 543-1494. $ AQUA GRILL Upscale cuisine offers fresh seafood, Angus steaks, Maine lobster and vegetarian dishes. Outdoor patio seating. FB. L, Mon.-Sat.; D, nightly. 950 Sawgrass Village Dr. 285-3017. $$$ BRUCCI’S PIZZA F Authentic New York-style pizza, Italian pastas, paninis, desserts. Family atmosphere. CM. L & D, daily. 880 A1A, Ste. 8. 280-7677. $$ CAFFE ANDIAMO Traditional Italian cuisine features fresh seafood, veal, homemade pastas and wood-fired pizza prepared in a copper clad oven. An extensive wine list is offered in a cosmopolitan atmosphere. Dine indoors or Out on the terrace. L & D, daily. 500 Sawgrass Village. 280-2299. $$$ KARMA This homey place offers favorites from here and abroad, including burgers, wings, pastas, salads and apps, prepared with fresh, local ingredients. Outdoor dining is available. Brunch menu on Sat. & Sun. CM, FB. L, Sat. & Sun.; D, daily. 822 A1A N., Ste. 105. 834-3942. $$ LULU’S WATERFRONT GRILLE F On the Intracoastal Waterway, LuLu’s can be reached by car or by boat. Seafood, steaks and pasta dishes with a sophisticated flair. FB. L & D, daily; Sun. brunch. 301 N. Roscoe Blvd. 285-0139. $$ NINETEEN AT TPC SAWGRASS In Sawgrass’ Tournament Players Club, Nineteen features more than 230 wines and freshly prepared American and Continental cuisine, including local seafood, served inside or al fresco on the verandah. L & D, daily. 110 Championship Way. 273-3235. $$$ PUSSER’S BAR & GRILLE F Freshly prepared Caribbean cuisine, including red snapper Ponte Vedra Jamaican grilled pork ribs and barbecued salmon tower. Tropical rum drinks feature Pusser’s Painkiller. FB. L & D, daily. 816 A1A N., Ste. 100. 2807766. L, $$; D, $$ RESTAURANT MEDURE Chef Matthew Medure offers his eclectic cuisine featuring local and imported seafood with Southern and Asian influences. F/B. D, Mon.-Sat. 818 A1A N. 543-3797. $$$ RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE Best of Jax 2010 winner. See San Marco. 8141 A1A. 285-0014. $$$$ SIMPLE FAIRE F Simple Faire offers breakfast and lunch favorites, featuring Boar’s Head meats and cheeses served on fresh bread. Daily specials. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 3020 Hartley Rd., Ste. 110. 683-2542. $$ 619 OCEAN VIEW Dining with a Mediterranean touch, featuring fresh seafood, steaks and nightly specials. FB, CM. D, Wed.-Sun. 619 Ponte Vedra Blvd., Cabana Beach Club. 285-6198. $$$ URBAN FLATS Ancient world-style flatbread is paired with fresh regional and seasonal ingredients in wraps, flatwiches and entrées, served in a casual, urban atmosphere. An international wine list is offered. FB. L & D, daily. 330 A1A N. 280-5515. $$

RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE

AJ’S ON PARK STREET AJ’s is a casual barbecue spot serving smoked St. Louis-style ribs, pulled pork, smoked brisket, seafood and dishes made with a Latin touch. L & D, Mon.-Fri. 630 Park St. 598-0188. $$ AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 1620 Margaret St. 388-8384. $ BAKERY MODERNE F The neighborhood bakery offers classic pastries, artisanal breads, seasonal favorites, all made from scratch, including the popular petit fours and custom cakes. B & L, daily. 869 Stockton St., Ste. 6, Riverside. 389-7117. $

Engine 15 Brewing Company is a new gastropub serving soups, salads, flatbreads and specialty sandwiches, along with their home brew, on Beach Boulevard in Jax Beach. COOL MOOSE F Classic sandwiches, eclectic wraps and desserts. An extensive gourmet coffee menu with Green Mountain coffees and frozen coffee drinks. B & L, daily. Brunch, Sun. 2708 Park St. 381-4242. $ CROSS CREEK F See Springfield. 850 S. Lane Ave. 783-9579. $$ EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ F See San Marco. 2753 Park St. 384-9999. $ GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F See Orange Park. 6677 103rd St., Westside, 777-6135. $$ GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET F A deli, organic and natural grocery, and juice & smoothie bar offers teas, coffees, gourmet cheeses; natural, organic and raw items. Grab-and-go sandwiches, salads and sides. Craft beers, organic wines. B, L & D, Mon.-Sat.; L, Sun. 2007 Park St. 384-4474. $ HJ’S BAR & GRILL F This grill serves traditional American fare: burgers, sandwiches, wraps and platters of ribs, shrimp and fish. CM, FB. L & D, Sat. & Sun., D, Mon.-Fri. 8540 Argyle Forest Blvd., Ste. 1. 317-2783. $$ HOVAN MEDITERRANEAN GOURMET F Dine inside or on the patio. Mediterranean entrées include lamb, and beef gyros. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 2005-1 Park St. 381-9394. $ JACKSONS GRILL Locally owned spot has an original menu of fried pickle chips, Rockin’ Ranch burgers, gumbo, sandwiches. BW, TO. B, L & D, daily. 1522 King St. 384-8984. $$ JOHNNY’S DELI & GRILL F A Riverside tradition, serving 60+ fresh deli and grill items, including hot sandwiches. L, Mon.-Fri. 474 Riverside Ave. 356-8055. $ MONROE’S SMOKEHOUSE BBQ Smoked meats include wings, pulled pork, brisket, turkey and ribs. Homemade-style sides include green beans, baked beans, red cole slaw, collards. BW, CM. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551. $$ MOON RIVER PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Amelia Island. 1176 Edgewood Ave. S. 389-4442. $ MOSSFIRE GRILL F Southwestern menu with ahi tuna tacos, goat cheese enchiladas and gouda quesadillas. Dine inside or on the patio. FB. L & D, daily. 1537 Margaret St. 355-4434. $$ O’BROTHERS IRISH PUB F Innovative Irish fare and traditional faves are offered, like lambburger with Stilton crust, Guinness mac & cheese, Shepherd’s pie and fish-n-chips — plus 18 beers on tap. L, daily except Mon.; D, daily. CM, FB. 1521 Margaret St. 854-9300. $$ PERARD’S PIZZA & ITALIAN CUISINE F Traditional Italian fare is prepared with fresh sauces and dough made from scratch daily, along with a large selection of gourmet pizza toppings. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 11043 Crystal Springs Rd., Ste. 2. 378-8131. $ PERFECT RACK BILLIARDS F Upscale billiards hall has burgers, steak, deli sandwiches, wings. Family-friendly, nonsmoking. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 1186 Edgewood Ave. S., Murray Hill. 738-7645. $ PIZZA PALACE ON THE PARK F See San Marco. Outdoor seating. 920 Margaret St., 5 Points. 598-1212. $$ SAKE HOUSE F Japanese grill and sushi bar features sushi, sashimi, katsu, tempura, hibachi and specialty rolls. CM, BW, sake. L & D, daily. 824 Lomax St. 301-1188. $$ SUMO SUSHI Authentic Japanese fare, traditional to entrees and sushi rolls, spicy sashimi salad, gyoza (pork dumpling), tobiko (flying fish roe), Rainbow roll (tuna, salmon, yellowtail, Calif. roll). BW, CM. L & D, daily. 2726 Park St. 388-8838. $$ SUSHI CAFÉ F Authentic Japanese cuisine with a variety of sushi plus entrees like king salmon, katsu and teriyaki. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 2025 Riverside Ave. 384-2888. $$ TWO DOORS DOWN F Former Tad’s owner offers traditional

faves: hotcakes, omelets, burgers, pork chops, liver & onions, fried chicken, sides and desserts. CM, TO. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 436 Park St. 598-0032. $ WALKERS This nightspot has a tapas menu plus a wide variety of wines, served in a rustic, intimate atmosphere. BW. Tue.-Sat. 2692 Post St. 894-7465. $ WASABI JAPANESE BUFFET F AYCE buffet. Sushi bar, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, tempura, steak, seafood. BW. L & D, daily. 1014 Margaret St., Ste. 1, 5 Points. 301-1199. $$

ST. AUGUSTINE

A1A ALE WORKS F The city’s only brew pub taps seven handcrafted ales and lagers. A1A specializes in innovative New World cuisine. FB. L & D, daily. 1 King St. 829-2977. $$ AMICI ITALIAN RESTAURANT F A family-owned-and-operated Italian restaurant offers traditional pasta, veal, steak and seafood dishes. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1915B A1A S., St. Augustine Beach. 461-0102. $$ ANN O’MALLEY’S F Fresh handmade sandwiches, soups, salads and perfectly poured Guinness. Favorites include Reubens and chicken salad. CM, BW, Irish beers on tap. L & D, daily. 23 Orange St. 825-4040. $$ BEACH STREET PIZZA New York and Chicago style pizzas, calzones and homemade pasta dishes, all made from fresh ingredients., served in a beach-theme atmosphere. CM. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 4171 A1A S. 461-0910. $$ BORRILLO’S PIZZA & SUBS F Specialty pizzas are Borrillo’s Supreme (extra cheese, pepperoni, sausage), white and vegetarian pizzas. Subs and pasta dinners. L & D, daily. 88 San Marco Ave. 829-1133. $ CAFÉ ELEVEN F Eclectic cuisine like feta spinach egg croissant, apple turkey sandwich, pear-berry salad. Daily chef creations. BW. B, L & D, daily. 501 A1A Beach Blvd. 460-9311. B, $; L & D, $$ CARMELO’S PIZZERIA F Authentic New York style brickoven-baked pizza, fresh baked sub rolls, Boars Head meats and cheeses, fresh salads, calzones, strombolis and sliced pizza specials. BW. L & D, daily. 146 King St. 494-6658. $$ THE FLORIDIAN The downtown restaurant serves innovative Southern fare, made with local farmers’ local food. Signature items: fried green tomato bruschetta, ’N’grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. L & D, Wed.-Mon. 39 Cordova St. 829-0655. $$ GYPSY CAB COMPANY F Best of Jax 2010 winner. International menu features large portions, reasonable prices. FB. L & D, daily. 828 Anastasia Blvd. 824-8244. $$ HARRY’S SEAFOOD BAR & GRILLE F In a historic, two-story house, the New Orleans-style eatery has fresh seafood, steaks, jambalaya, etouffée and shrimp. FB. L & D, daily. 46 Avenida Menendez. 824-7765. $$ HURRICANE PATTY’S F Casual waterfront seafood place features lunch specials, nightly dinners. Dine inside or on the deck. L & D, daily. 69 Lewis Blvd. 827-1822. $$ KINGS HEAD BRITISH PUB F Authentic Brit pub serves fish & chips, Cornish pastie and steak & kidney pie. Tap beers are Guinness, Newcastle and Bass. BW. L & D, Wed.-Sun. 6460 U.S. 1 (4 miles N. of St. Augustine Airport.) 823-9787. $$ THE MANATEE CAFÉ F Serving healthful cuisine using organically grown fruits, vegetables, grains and legumes. B & L, daily. 525 S.R. 16, Ste. 106, Westgate Plaza. 826-0210. $ MANGO MANGO’S BEACHSIDE BAR & GRILL Caribbean kitchen has comfort food with a tropical twist: coconut shrimp and fried plantains. BW, CM. Outdoor dining. 700 A1A Beach Blvd., (A

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the mustard seed cafe

Located inside Nassau Health Foods, The Mustard Seed is Amelia Island’s only organic eatery and juice bar, with an extensive, eclectic menu featuring vegetarian and vegan items. Daily specials include local seafood, free-range chicken and fresh organic produce. Salads, wraps, sandwiches and soups are available — all prepared with Lisa Harter’s impeccable style. Popular items are ginger chicken salad, falafel pitas, black bean burgers and Asian noodles with tuna. Open for breakfast and lunch, 8 a.m.-3 p.m. Mon.-Sat. nassauhealthfoods.net 833 T.J. Courson Road 904-277-3141

beech street grill

Located in Capt. Bell’s historic 1889 home, Beech Street has daily blackboard specials featuring regional seafood dishes.A full bar is served and an extensive, award-winning wine list is available. Reservations are recommended. Piano entertainment in the dining room is featured Thursday through Saturday evenings. Dress is resort-casual. Open for dinner nightly. Lunch Wed.-Fri. 11:00 a.m.-2p.m. Sunday Brunch 11:00 a.m.-2 p.m. beechstreetgrill.com 801 Beech Street 904-277-3662

plae restaurant & lounge

Located in the Spa & Shops at Amelia Island Plantation, PLAE serves bistro style cuisine. The full bar lounge at PLAE has become an instant classic, with artistic décor and live entertainment nightly. Open at 5:30 p.m. for dinner daily; reservations accepted. 80 Amelia Village Cir. 904-277-2132

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cafe karibo

Homemade sandwiches, salads and soups are served in a relaxed atmosphere in this charming building in the historic district. Delicious fresh fish specials and theme nights (Pad Thai and curry), plus vegetarian dishes, are also featured. Karibrew Brew Pub & Grub — the only one on the island — offers on-site beers and great burgers and sandwiches. 27 N. Third Street 904-277-5269

29 south eats

This chic, neighborhood bistro has it all — great ambience, fantastic food, an extensive wine list and reasonable prices. The eclectic menu offers traditional world cuisine with a modern whimsical twist and Chef Scotty Schwartz won Best Chef in Folio Weekly’s 2007 Best of Jax readers poll. Open for lunch Tues.-Sat., 11:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m., for dinner 5:30-9:30 p.m. Mon.-Thur., till 10 p.m. Fri. and Sat. Brunch is 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Sun. 29southrestaurant.com 29 S. Third Street 904-277-7919

brett’s waterway café

Overlooking Fernandina Harbor Marina, Brett’s offers an upscale atmosphere with outstanding food. The extensive luncheon and dinner menus feature daily specials, fresh Florida seafood, chicken and aged beef. Cocktails, beer and wine. Casual resort wear. Open at 11:30 a.m. daily. Fernandina Harbor Marina at the foot of Centre Street 904-261-2660

t-ray’s burger station moon river pizza

Moon River Pizza treats customers like family. Cooked in a brick oven, the pizza is custom-made by the slice (or, of course, by the pie). Set up like an Atlanta-style pizza joint, Moon River also offers an eclectic selection of wine and beers. Open for lunch and dinner Mon.-Sat. Dine in or take it with you. 925 S. 14th Street 904-321-3400

the surf

Enjoy a casual beach atmosphere in the full-service restaurant, bar and huge oceanview deck. Extensive menu features delicious steaks, fresh seafood and nightly specials. Also featuring salads, wraps, burgers, seafood baskets and our famous all-you-can-eat wing specials (Wed. & Sun.). Take-out available. Open at 11 a.m. daily for lunch, dinner and latenight menu. Entertainment nightly and 29 TVs throughout. 3199 S. Fletcher Ave. 904-261-5711

sliders seaside grill

Oceanfront dining at its finest! Enjoy our award-winning crab cakes, fresh daily seafood specials and homemade desserts. Sliders has Amelia Island’s only waterfront Tiki Bar, as well as a children’s playground, and live music every weekend. Open at 11 a.m. daily, with happy hour held Monday-Friday from 4-7 p.m. Make Sliders Seaside Grill your place to be for friends and family, entertainment and the best food on the East Coast. 1998 S. Fletcher Ave. 904-277-6652

T-Ray’s offers a variety of breakfast and lunch items. In addition to an outstanding breakfast menu, you’ll find some of the best burgers you’ve ever put in your mouth. The Burger Station offers a grilled portabello mushroom burger, grilled or fried chicken salad and much more. The spot where locals grab a bite and go! Now serving Beer & Wine. Open Mon.-Fri. 7 a.m.-2:30 p.m., Sat. 8 a.m.-1 p.m. Closed Sundays. 202 S. Eighth Street 904-261-6310

jack & diane’s

The locals’ favorite hangout! Dine inside or on the patio of this cozy, renovated 1887 shotgun home in historic downtown Fernandina. From the crab & shrimp omelet to the steak & tomato pie, “The tastiest spot on Centre” offers food with attitude and unexpected flair. Live music elevates your dining experience to a new level. Come for breakfast, stay for dinner! You’ll love every bite! 708 Centre Street 904-321-1444

kelley’s courtyard café

From She Crab Soup and salads, fried green tomatoes and a delectable selection of gourmet sandwiches and wraps, visitors to this bright café and patio are treated to a memorable meal. Signature desserts, vegetarian dishes and catering are available, too. Open Mon.-Sat., 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Dinner 5:30-9pm. 19 S. Third Street 904-432-8213

Amelia Island is 13 miles of unspoiled beaches, quaint shops, antique treasures and superb dining in a 50-block historic district less than one hour north of Jacksonville MARCH 1-7, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 39

ADVERTISING PROOF

MILL TOP TAVERN F A St. Auggie institution housed in an 1884 building, serving nachos, soups, sandwiches and daily specials. Dine inside or on open-air decks. At the big mill wheel. FB. L & D, daily. 19 1/2 St. George St. 829-2329. $$ OASIS RESTAURANT & DECK F Just 1 block from the ocean, with a tropical atmosphere and open-air deck. Steamed oysters, crabRep legs, burgers. Sales DL CM, FB. B, L & D, daily. 4000 A1A & Ocean Trace Rd., St. Augustine Beach. 471-3424. $ PURPLE OLIVE INTERNATIONAL BISTRO F Family-ownedand-operated, with a creative menu of wines, nightly specials, fresh artisan breads. Soups, salad dressings and desserts made from scratch. D, Tue.-Sat. 4255 A1A S., Ste. 6, St. Augustine Beach. 461-1250. $$ RAINTREE The restaurant, in a Victorian home, offers a menu with contemporary and traditional international influences. Extensive wine list. FB. D, daily. 102 San Marco Ave. 824-7211. $$$ SCARLETT O’HARA’S Best of Jax 2010 winner. Serving Southern fare, barbecue and seafood. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 70 Hypolita St. 824-6535. $$ SHENANIGANS SIDELINES SPORTS GRILL The sports grill serves 80+ craft, imported & domestic beers, and homemadestyle sandwiches. L & D, daily. 4010 U.S. 1 S. 217-3051. $$ SUNSET GRILLE Casual Key West style and a seafood-heavy menu — it’s a consistent Great Chowder Debate winner. Specialties include baby back ribs, lobster ravioli, coconut shrimp and datil pepper wings with bleu cheese dressing. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 421 A1A Beach Blvd. 471-5555. $$$ ZHANRAS F Art-themed tapas-style place has small plate items in a casual, contemporary space. Entrée portions available. CM, FB. D, daily; Sun. brunch. 108 Anastasia Blvd. 823-3367. $$

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ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER, TINSELTOWN BLACKFINN AMERICAN GRILLE With four dining rooms, BlackFinn offers classic American fare: beef, seafood, pasta, chicken and flatbread sandwiches. Dine indoors or on the patio. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 4840 Big Island Dr. 345-3466. $$ FIVE GUYS BURGERS & FRIES Best of Jax 2010 winner. 13249 City Square Dr. 751-9711. 9039 Southside Blvd., 538-9100. 4413 Town Center Pkwy., Ste. 401. 996-6900. fiveguys.com $ THE GRAPE BISTRO & WINE BAR F More than 145 wines, along with a tapas menu of gourmet fare to pair with the wine list. A wide selection of beer is also served. L & D, daily. 10281 Midtown Parkway, Ste. 119. 642-7111. $$ ISLAND GIRL WINE & CIGAR BAR F Upscale tropical vibe. Walk-in humidor, pairing apps and desserts with 25 wines, ports by the glass. 220+ wines by the bottle; draft, bottled beer. L & D, daily. 7860 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 115. 854-6060. $$ JOHNNY ANGELS F The menu reflects its ’50s-style décor, including Blueberry Hill pancakes, Fats Domino omelet, Elvis special combo platter. Shakes, malts. B, L & D, daily. 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Ste. 120. 997-9850. $ LIBRETTO’S PIZZERIA & ITALIAN KITCHEN F Authentic NYC pizzeria brings Big Apple crust, cheese and sauce to Jax. Libretto’s serves third-generation family-style Italian classics, fresh-from-the-oven calzones, and desserts in a casual, comfy setting. L & D, daily. 4880 Big Island Dr., Ste. 1. 402-8888. $$ LIME LEAF F Authentic Thai cuisine: fresh papaya salad, pad Thai, mango sweet rice. BW. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.-Sat. 9822 Tapestry Park Cir., Stes. 108 & 109. 645-8568. $$ MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS F Best of Jax 2010

GRILL ME

A WEEKLY Q&A WITH PEOPLE IN THE RESTAURANT BIZ Dustin Hegedus

NEFIT

winner. Tossed spring water dough, lean meats, veggies and vegetarian choices make up specialty pizzas, hoagies and calzones. FB. L & D, daily. 9734 Deer Lake Court (at Tinseltown). 997-1955. $ mellowmushroom.com MITCHELL’S FISH MARKET F Featuring seafood, an everchanging menu of more than 180 items includes cedar-roasted Atlantic salmon and seared salt-and-pepper tuna. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 5205 Big Island Dr., St. Johns Town Ctr. 645-3474. $$$ THE ORIGINAL PANCAKE HOUSE The recipes, unique to the Pancake House, call for only the freshest ingredients. CM. B, L & D, daily. 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr. 997-6088. $$ OTAKI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE F Family-owned steakhouse has an open sushi bar, hibachi grill tables and an open kitchen. Dine indoor or out. FB, CM, TO. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, nightly. 7860 Gate Parkway, Stes. 119-122. 854-0485. $$$ POMPEII COAL-FIRED PIZZA F See Orange Park. 7860 Gate Parkway. 253-3314. $$ RENNA’S PIZZA F Renna’s serves up New York-style pizza, calzones, subs and lasagna made from authentic Italian recipes. Delivery, CM, BW. 4624 Town Crossing Dr., Ste. 125, St. Johns Town Center. 565-1299. rennaspizza.com $$ SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY F Innovative menu of fresh local grilled seafood, sesame tuna, grouper Oscar, chicken, steak and pizza. Microbrewed ales and lagers. FB. L & D, daily. 9735 Gate Pkwy. N. 997-1999. $$ SOUTHSIDE ALE HOUSE F Steaks, fresh seafood, sandwiches and desserts. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9711 Deer Lake Court. 565-2882. $$ SUITE This new premium lounge and restaurant at St. Johns Town Center offers chef-driven small plates and an extensive list of specialty cocktails, served in a sophisticated atmosphere. FB. D & late-nite, nightly. 4880 Big Island Dr., Ste. 1. 493-9305. $$ URBAN FLATS See Ponte Vedra. CM. FB. L & D, daily. 9726 Touchton Road. 642-1488. $$ WASABI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE & SUSHI BAR F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Authentic Japanese cuisine, teppanyaki shows and a full sushi menu. CM. L & D, daily. 10206 River Coast Dr. 997-6528. $$ WHISKY RIVER Best of Jax 2010 winner. At St. Johns Town Center’s Plaza, Whisky River features wings, pizza, wraps, sandwiches and burgers served in a lively car racing-themed atmosphere (Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s the owner). FB. CM. L & D, daily. 4850 Big Island Drive. 645-5571. $$ WILD WING CAFÉ F Serving up 33 flavors of wings, as well as soups, sandwiches, wraps, ribs, platters and burgers. FB. 4555 Southside Blvd. 998-WING (9464). $$ YUMMY SUSHI F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Teriyaki, tempura, hibachi-style dinners, sushi & sashimi. Sushi lunch roll special. BW, sake. L & D, daily. 4372 Southside Blvd. 998-8806. $$

SAN JOSE

ATHENS CAFÉ F Serving authentic Greek cuisine: lamb, seafood, veal and pasta dishes. BW. L & D, daily. 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7. 733-1199. $$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Burgers, sandwiches, nachos, quesadillas and cheese fries. 5613 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 1. 737-BURG. $ DICK’S WINGS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. This NASCARthemed family style sports place serves wings, buffalo tenders, burgers and chicken sandwiches. CM. BW. L & D, daily. 1610 University Blvd. W. 448-2110. dickswingsandgrill.com $ MOJO BAR-B-QUE F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The Southern Blues kitchen serves pulled pork, brisket and North Carolinastyle barbecue. TO, BW. L & D, daily. 1607 University Blvd. W. 732-7200. $$

NAME: Carl Cooksey RESTAURANT: The Grotto 2012 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville BIRTHPLACE: La Plata, Md. YEARS IN THE BUSINESS: 17 FAVORITE RESTAURANT (OTHER THAN MY OWN): Bistro Aix in San Marco FAVORITE INGREDIENTS: Pork or anything fresh. IDEAL MEAL: Steamed oysters, crabs and rockfish, enjoyed whiile overlooking the Chesapeake Bay. WOULDN’T EAT IF YOU PAID ME: Vegan MOST MEMORABLE RESTAURANT EXPERIENCE: Receiving a kiss on the cheek from Jessica Simpson, in response to a carrot cake I’d made. INSIDER’S SECRET: Keep it simple; cook what you like. CELEBRITY SIGHTINGS: Salma Hayek, Jessica Simpson

40 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 1-7, 2011

CULINARY GUILTY PLEASURE: Fresh-from-the-farm food.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

b.b.’s F A bistro menu is served in an upscale atmosphere, featuring almond-crusted calamari, tuna tartare and wild mushroom pizza. FB. L & D, Mon.-Fri.; brunch & D, Sat. 1019 Hendricks Ave. 306-0100. $$$ BISTRO AIX F Best of Jax 2010 winner. French, Mediterranean-inspired fare, award-winning wines, wood-fired pizzas, house-made pastas, steaks, seafood. Indoor, outdoor dining. FB. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, nightly. 1440 San Marco Blvd. 3981949. $$$ BISTRO 41 F Omelets, sandwiches, burgers, wraps, Metro Creations and Bistro Bites. Low carb dishes. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 3563 Philips Hwy., Ste. 104. 446-9738. $$ CHECKER BBQ & SEAFOOD F Chef Art Jennette serves barbecue, seafood and comfort food, including pulled-pork, fried white shrimp and fried green tomatoes. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 3566 St. Augustine Rd. 398-9206. $ EUROPEAN STREET F Big sandwiches, soups, desserts and more than 100 bottled and on-tap beers. BW. L & D, daily. 1704 San Marco Blvd. 398-9500. $ THE GROTTO F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Wine by the glass. Tapas-style menu offers a cheese plate, empanadas bruschetta, chocolate fondue. BW. 2012 San Marco Blvd. 398-0726. $$ HAVANA-JAX CAFÉ/CUBA LIBRE BAR LOUNGE F Authentic Latin American fine dining: picadillo, ropa vieja, churrasco tenderloin steak, Cuban sandwiches. L & D, Mon.-Sat. CM, FB. 2578 Atlantic Blvd. 399-0609. $ KIRIN SUSHI F On San Marco Square. All-new sushi menu. Dine under neon in a cool atmosphere. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 1950 San Marco Blvd., Ste. 1. 399-3305. $$. LAYLA’S OF SAN MARCO Fine dining in the heart of San Marco. Traditional Middle Eastern cuisine, served inside or outside on the hookah and cigar patio. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat.; D, Sun. 2016 Hendricks Ave. 398-4610. $$ MATTHEW’S Chef’s tasting menu or seasonal à la carte menu featuring an eclectic mix of Mediterranean ingredients. Dress is business casual, jackets optional. FB. D, Mon.-Sat. 2107 Hendricks Ave. 396-9922. $$$$ METRO DINER F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Historic 1930s diner offers award-winning breakfast and lunch. Fresh seafood and Southern cooking. Bring your own wine. B & L, daily. 3302 Hendricks Ave. 398-3701. $$ PIZZA PALACE F It’s all homemade from Mama’s awardwinning recipes: spinach pizza and chicken-spinach calzones. BW. L & D, daily. 1959 San Marco Blvd. 399-8815. $$ PULP F The juice bar offers fresh juices, froyo (frozen yogurt), teas, coffees made one cup at a time, along with 30 kinds of smoothies. B, L & D, daily. 1962 San Marco Blvd. 396-9222. $ RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE A Best of Jax 2010 winner. Midwestern prime beef, fresh seafood in an upscale atmosphere. FB. D, daily. 1201 Riverplace Blvd. 396-6200. $$$$ SAKE HOUSE See Riverside. 1478 Riverplace Blvd. 306-2188. $$ SAN MARCO DELI F The independently owned & operated classic diner serves grilled fish, turkey burgers and lunch meats roasted daily in-house. Vegetarian options, including tempeh, too. Mon.-Sat. 1965 San Marco Blvd. 399-1306. $ TAVERNA SAN MARCO Tapas, small-plate items, Neapolitanstyle wood-fired pizzas and entrées served in a rustic yet upscale interior. BW, TO. L & D, Tue.-Sat. 1986 San Marco Blvd. 398-3005. $$$

SOUTHSIDE

BISTRO 41° F Casual dining features fresh, homemade

breakfast and lunch dishes in a relaxing atmosphere. TO. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 3563 Philips Hwy., Ste. 104. 446-9738. $ BLUE BAMBOO Contemporary Asian-inspired cuisine includes rice-flour calamari, seared Ahi tuna, pad Thai. Street eats: barbecue duck, wonton crisps. BW. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.-Sat. 3820 Southside Blvd. 646-1478. $$ BUCO DI BEPPO Italian dishes served family-style in an For are questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. RUN DATE: 101210 a specialty. eclectic, vintage setting. Half-pound meatballs CM, FB. L & D, daily. 10334 Southside Blvd. 363-9090. $$$ FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 CITY BUFFET CHINESE RESTAURANT A variety of Chinesestyle dishes on one large buffet. Beer, TO, L & D, daily. 5601 PROMISE OF BENEFIT SUPPORT ASK FOR ACTION Produced by _jm Checked by ___ Beach Blvd. 345-2507. $ THE CORNER BISTRO & WINE BAR F Casual fine dining. The menu blends modern American favorites served with international flair. The Fresh Bar offers fine wine, cocktails, martinis. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 9823 Tapestry Park Circle, Ste. 1. 619-1931. $$$ EL POTRO F Family-friendly, casual, El Potro cooks it fresh, made-to-order — fast, hot, simple. Daily specials and buffet at most locations. BW. L & D, daily. 5871 University Blvd. W., 7330844. 11380 Beach Blvd., 564-9977. elpotrorestaurant.com $ EUROPEAN STREET F See San Marco. 5500 Beach Blvd. 398-1717. $ HALA CAFE & BAKERY F A local institution since 1975 serves house-baked pita bread, kabobs, falafel and daily lunch buffet. Best of Jax 2010 winner. TO, BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4323 University Blvd. S. 733-5141. $$ D, daily. 840 Nautica Dr., Ste. 131, River City Marketplace. LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Intracoastal. 696-4001. $ 8206 Philips Hwy. 732-9433. $ SHARKY’S WINGS & GRILL A family-friendly restaurant with SPECKLED HEN TAVERN & GRILLE Stylish yet simple apps, burgers, subs & shrimp, plus 16 flavors of wings — get gastropub features Southern-style cuisine made with a modern ’em in orders of 6-100. L & D, daily. 12400 Yellow Bluff Rd., twist: Dishes are paired with international wines and beers, Oceanway. 714-0995. $$ including a large selection of craft and IPA brews. FB. L & D, THREE LAYERS CAFE F Lunch, bagels, desserts, and the daily. 9475 Philips Hwy., Ste. 16. 538-0811. $$ adjacent Cellar serves fine wines. Inside and courtyard dining. TOMMY’S BRICK OVEN PIZZA F New York-style thin crust, BW. B, L & D, daily. 1602 Walnut St., Springfield. 355-9791. $ brick-oven-cooked gluten-free pizzas, calzones, sandwiches 3 LIONS SPORTS PUB & GRILL F This modern restaurant’s (Thumann’s no-MSG meats, Grande cheeses). BW. L & D, Mon.menu features popular favorites: salads, sandwiches and pizza, Sat. 4160 Southside Blvd., Ste. 2. 565-1999. $$ as well as fine European cuisine. Nightly specials. 2467 Faye WASABI JAPANESE BUFFET F Best of Jax 2010 winner. AYCE Rd., Northside. 647-8625. $$ sushi and two teppanyaki grill items are included in buffet price. UPTOWN MARKET F In the 1300 Building at the corner of Third FB. L & D, daily. 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138C. 363-9888. $$ & Main. Fresh fare made with the same élan that rules Burrito Gallery. Innovative breakfast, lunch and deli selections. BW, TO. 1303 Main St. N. 355-0734. $$ BOSTON’S RESTAURANT & SPORTSBAR F A full menu of sportsbar faves; pizzas till 2 a.m. Dine inside or on the patio. FB, TO. L & D, daily. 13070 City Station Dr., River City Marketplace. 751-7499. $$ CASA MARIA F The family-owned restaurant serves authentic Mexican fare, including fajitas and seafood. The specialty is tacos de azada. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 12961 N. Main St., Ste. 104. 757-6411. $$ JAX RIVER CITY CAFÉ Traditional breakfast fare includes omelets, sandwiches. Lunch features subs, burgers, sandwiches, grilled paninis, daily hot specials. Dine-in, carryout. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 4807 N. Main St. 355-9111. $ JOSEPH’S PIZZA & ITALIAN RESTAURANT F Gourmet pizzas, pastas. Authentic Italian entrees like eggplant parmigiana, shrimp scampi. BW. L & D, daily. 7316 N. Main St. 765-0335. $$ MILLHOUSE STEAKHOUSE F A locally-owned-and-operated steakhouse with choice steaks from the signature broiler, and seafood, pasta, Millhouse gorgonzola, homemade desserts. CM, FB. D, nightly. 1341 Airport Rd. 741-8722. $$ SALSARITA’S FRESH CANTINA F Southwest cuisine made from scratch, served in a family atmosphere. CM, BW. L &

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SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

WINE LISTINGS ANJO LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Thur. 9928 Old Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1, 646-2656 AROMAS CIGAR & WINE BAR Best of Jax 2010 winner. Call for schedule. 4372 Southside Blvd., 928-0515 BLUE BAMBOO 5:30-7:30 p.m., every first Thur. 3820 Southside Blvd., 646-1478 CIRCLE JAPAN “Sake 101” 5-8 p.m. every Fri. 12192 Beach Blvd., Ste. 1, Southside, 710-5193 THE GIFTED CORK Tastings daily. 64 Hypolita St., St. Augustine, 810-1083 THE GRAPE 5-7:30 p.m. every Wed.; 1-4 p.m. every Sat. 10281 Midtown Pkwy., Ste. 119, SJTC, 642-7111 THE GROTTO 6-8 p.m. every Thur. 2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726 MONKEY’S UNCLE LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Fri. 1850 S. Third St., Jax Beach, 246-1070 NORTH BEACH BISTRO 6-8 p.m. every Tue. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach, 372-4105 OCEAN 60 6-8 p.m every Mon. 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060 PUSSERS CARIBBEAN GRILL 6 p.m., every second Fri. 816 A1A N., Ste. 100, Ponte Vedra Beach, 280-7766

RIVERSIDE LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Fri. 1035 Park St., Five Points, 356-4517 THE TASTING ROOM 6-8 p.m. every first Tue. 25 Cuna St., St. Augustine, 810-2400 TASTE OF WINE Daily. 363 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 9, Atlantic Beach, 246-5080 TOTAL WINE & MORE Noon-6 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. 4413 Town Center Pkwy., Ste. 300, 998-1740 URBAN FLATS 5-8 p.m. every Wed. 330 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach, 280-5515 WHOLE FOODS MARKET 6 p.m. every Thur. 10601 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 288-1100 THE WINE BAR 6-8 p.m. every Thur. 320 First St. N., Jax Beach, 372-0211 WINE WAREHOUSE 4-7 p.m. every Fri. 665 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 246-6450 4434 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 448-6782 1188 Edgewood Ave. S., Riverside, 389-9997 4085 A1A S., St. Augustine Beach, 471-9900 ZAITOON MEDITERRANEAN GRILL 6-8 p.m., every first & third Wed. 13475 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 40, Intracoastal W., 221-7066

MARCH 1-7, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 41

Getting Old, Young

Jack Smeltzer broke a tractor pull championship record in Columbus, Ohio, in January, doing a “full (track-length) pull” of 692 pounds. Jack is 7 years old. The National Kiddie Tractor Pullers Association (with 80 events a year for ages 3-8) uses bicycles instead of motors. Brooke Wilker, 5, was the youngest champ, lugging 300 pounds 28 feet. Walmart announced in January it would soon offer a full line of makeup just for 8-year-olds (and up), by GeoGirl, including mascara, sheer lip gloss, pink blush and purple eye shadow, all supposedly designed for young skin. An executive of Aspire cosmetics said her research revealed a potential market of 6-year-olds.

Government in Action!

Everyone washes hair, but those who want a license to apply shampoo in Texas need 150 hours of training, with 100 hours in “theory and practice of shampooing,” including a study of “neck anatomy.” A February Wall Street Journal report on excessiveness of state regulation highlighted California’s year-long training to be a barber, Alabama’s 750hour schooling standard for a manicurist’s license, and Michigan’s 500 practice hours for performing massages. (By contrast, many less-tightly regulated states seem not to suffer. Connecticut, with no licensing, fielded only six complaints last year on manicurists — four involved gift card disputes.) What Budget Crunch? In January, South Florida’s Sun-Sentinel reported despite many pressing problems, Broward County’s public school system has paid about $100,000 a year since 2004 to build and maintain special gardens at selected schools, to lure butterflies for kids to study. Government That Works: The City Commission of San Antonio, Fla. (pop. 1,052), passed an ordinance in January restricting, to a tiny part of town, where registered sex offenders could live. However, San Antonio has only one sex offender, and he’s exempt from the law because he already lives there.

Great Art!

David Morice, of Iowa City, Iowa, a Kirkwood Community College teacher, was best known for a series of “Poetry Comics” until he decided in 2010 to write 100-page poems daily for 100 days, until he had a book of 10,000 pages (actually, 10,119). For some reason, University of Iowa Libraries published the finished poem, online and in a 2-foot-high hardcopy stack. Strangely, in a 480-word article describing Morice’s feat, the Iowa City Press-Citizen had not even a hint about the poems’ subject matter. In January, Toronto sculptor-photographer Lisa Murphy added to her reputation for devising “porn for the blind” by producing four more hand-molded erotic figures, using clay to replicate photographic scenes of nude and lingerie-clad models, accompanied by Braille descriptions. “The butt was the hardest to sculpt,” she said. “I wanted to get it nice and even, and give it a feminine softness so it would actually feel like a woman’s butt.” Her first book, “Tactile Mind,” with 17 such raised erotic works, sells for $225. Ripley’s Believe It or Not! museum is already home to an artist’s rendition of da Vinci’s “The Last Supper” made from burned toast, and now there’s a version by Laura Bell of Roscommon, Mich.: da Vinci’s masterpiece made with clothes-dryer 42 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 1-7, 2011

lint. Bell said she did about 800 hours of laundry of various-colored towels to get lint of the proper hues, and then worked 200 more hours to make the 14-foot-long, 4-foot-high mural.

The Continuing Crisis

Surprise! New Zealand traffic officer Andy Flitton cited an unnamed speeder recently for the second time in two years — 11,000 miles from the spot of the first ticket. Flitton had moved from the U.K. to New Zealand and, unknown to him, the motorist had relocated to New Zealand last year. When Flitton stopped the man in Wellington in December 2010, the motorist recognized Flitton as the one who’d ticketed him on a highway near London. Rap singer Trevell Coleman, trying to bring “closure” and “get right with God” for having shot a man in 1993 (he was never caught), confessed the assault to New York City police in December, hoping his humility might impress a judge. However, police checked and then booked Coleman for murder. Said Coleman, “[F]or some reason, I really didn’t think that [the victim had] died.” “That Was Easy!”: Several students at Texas’ Carrizo Springs High School were suspended in December, and a teacher placed on leave, after a parent complained her son had been grabbed by the shirt and stapled to a classroom wall, saying it was at least the second time it had happened. Jodi Gilbert, arrested in Jamestown, N.Y., in January, was charged with domestic violence — stapling her boyfriend in the head several times with a Stanley Hammer Tacker. In November, a Taiwanese factory owner accidentally dropped 200 ¥1,000 bills (worth about $6,600 dollars) into an industrial shredder, turning them into confetti. Luckily, Taiwan’s Justice Ministry employs a forensic handwriting analyst who excels at jigsaw puzzles on the side. Ms. Liu Hui-fen worked almost around the clock for seven days to piece together the 75 percent of each bill sufficient to make them legally exchangeable.

Least Competent Criminals

Laconic Perps: A female motorist in Kitsap County, Wash., reported in January being motioned by another driver to pull over, but she ignored him. The man then tried to ratchet up his credibility, motioning her over again but this time holding a hand-scrawled sign reading “sheriff.” She remained unimpressed. Seattle Weekly reported a similar incident had occurred several months earlier. Robert Michelson was arrested in Farmington, Conn., in February, after calling a 911 operator to ask about the legality of the marijuana plant he was growing. The operator told him it was illegal. (All 911 calls are automatically traced, and Michelson was soon arrested.)

Recurring Themes

People Who Ran Over Themselves: A transit driver was hospitalized in December after his idling bus slipped out of gear and ran over him as he walked around it in front of Waikato Hospital in New Zealand. A 37-year-old woman in Melbourne, Australia, was hospitalized in November after forgetting to set the parking brake. The car rolled backward down her driveway, knocking her over, then hitting a fence, lurching forward and running her down a second time. Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net

BAM A LAM We have known each other for a long time and became really good friends this past year (strictly platonic) ... A lot of BS happened, and now we aren’t friends. I miss your friendship, man, hope all is good with you. When: Feb. 21, 2011. Where: Southside. #1078-0301 ANGEL ON THE BUS I saw you on the 10:30 bus. You: most beautiful girl in the world wearing glasses and had a tattoo on your leg some sorta flower. Me: shy guy who couldn’t stop staring at you (I was in a suit). When: Feb. 9, 2011. Where: Ws2 Bus. #1077-0222 LATE FOR CLASS We never really talked the first half of the semester, but you were always on my wavelength. Class never really started until we arrived. Now that I know you live down the street, I’m hoping you’ll stop by and bring your High Lifes and PBRs. Because I can tell that we are gonna be friends. When: Fall 2010. Where: FSCJ Kent Campus. #1076-0222 MAWGWII MADNESS ON SOUTHSIDE You: go by ‘Gizmo,’ breathtaking blue eyes, enigmatic smile, my heart in your hands. Me: 5 ft., dubbed your ‘Starshine.’ I am just as in love with you as I was three years ago and will always be yours. I hope one day you forgive me. Will you join me for conversation over coffee? When: Feb. 10, 2011. Where: Southside. #1075-0222 I SAW YOU AT CRUISERS You were sitting with a group of ladies. Your brown sweater and glasses magnifi ed your beautiful blue eyes. Your smile and laugh were contagious even from across the room. Let’s get together and share another order of French fries. #1074-0215

very virile. You kept looking and I knew we should have spoken. When: Jan. 22, 2011. Where: Walgreens. #1067-0201 SEXY SAILOR THAT STOLE MY HEART You: tall, dark and handsome Greek god. Me: short, awkward red head. Smiled at me as you left the bar chasing after your drunk girlfriend. Call me, I’m into that scene. When: Jan. 21, 2011. Where: Marks. #1066-0201 THE ONE WHO GOT AWAY You-Man, Me-Woman. You were lost looking for your balls. You weren’t sure where you misplaced them. I gave you an idea on where to look but you were unable to reach. Maybe you should try an alternate route? :-) Not sure if you bat for my team or the other one but thought I’d take a chance ;). When: Jan. 2011. Where: Jacksonville. #1065-0201 THOSE RED FRECKLES CAUGHT ME Hey there those sexy red freckles on ur shoulders made me blush. love to meet up so I can circle and give those freckles some attention. When: Jan. 21, 2011. Where: Jax Library Regency branch. #1064-0201 SAW YOU AT THE GYM LAST NIGHT You looked distressed, like something was on your mind. That furrowed brow was beautiful. Would you give me a chance to make you smile? Me-Man: You-Woman. When: Jan. 18, 2011. Where: The Gym. #1063-0201 SWEET MODEL You: modelesk, heels, designer jeans, dark coat, healthy hair. You have the cutest nose. Me: Boots, jeans,

hard hat, vest. You showed where the sugar is! Let’s have Starbucks and conversate. When: Jan. 10, 2011 @ 7:30 p.m. Where: Jax Gate @ 95 and Baymeadows. #1062-0125 NO TIME CAN BIND THIS Pockets fed with sand from nights among the beach, my heart in your hand. I lost it all in your voice at Rendezvous, blonde hair glaring my vision from the sight I’d soon often not see. Hard to grasp all I can do is wait with hands full of hope of you coming around. When: Jan. 5, 2011. Where: Rendezvous. #1061-0125 BLEEKER SEEKS HER JUNO Sassy petite server at Tom & Betty’s who I said could be Ellen Page’s stunt double. I’d love to fly kites with some gin and tonic in hand. You told me your hamburger phone was out of order. Well babe, I know just how to fix it. Let me be your lady Bleeker? Dream Big! When: Jan. 7, 2011. Where: Tom & Betty’s on Roosevelt. #1059-0118 PLAYBOY BUNNY I saw you with a Bocefus-looking dog hanging out of the window of your Camry. You were wearing scrubs but otherwise looking like a Playboy bunny. I was in a truck with the candy paint selling George Foremans and I saw that look on your face. Only rasta free the people... Meet me at the park. When: Jan. 4, 2011. Where: Hodges. #1058-0118 YOU KNEW MY NAME Getting pizza after hours and you knew my name, I was too dumbfounded to ask for yours. You had an amazing smile and were wearing a black dress and glasses. If we meet again, I’ll try not to be at a loss for words. When: Jan. 1, 2011. Where: Northstar Pizza and Subs. #1057-0118

NINJA SEEKS ANGRY WOMAN I saw you at the garage across from the Modis building. I know you were upset because I accidentally jumped-kicked a guy into your car, but to be fair, you did slap me so hard I’m still feeling it today. Listen, I got your car fixed and I just can’t stop thinking about you. Meet me at Coggin Collision. When: Feb. 1, 2011. Where: Top of parking garage downtown. #1073-0215

PIGEON-TOED QUEEN You had on a black dress with black heels. You were at Square One with your girl who has the same first name as you. We danced, we kissed. It felt like the best night of my life. You mentioned that you are pigeon-toed … we laughed. I lost your number. When: Jan. 24, 2011. Where: Square One. #1070-0208

BIBLICAL AND ATYPICAL You stopped me in my stumbling tracks, and only got a few words out before my friends pulled me away... I kept looking back at you as I left the bar, hoping you would follow. Where were we? When: Dec. 31, 2010. Where: The Beaches. #1053-0111 STUNNING BRUNETTE W/ HIGHLIGHTS We met at Tinseltown on 12/08. We were both on dates and saw the movie “Unstoppable.” We talked at the bathrooms afterwards, you told me I had 15 secs to get your number but I was too slow. Our dates interrupted us. You: Stunning beauty, big beautiful green eyes, dressed down but looking amazing. Me: Sweat pants and a hoodie. Maybe we can get a movie together? Without the dates of course! When: Dec. 9, 2010. Where: Tinseltown Theatres. #1052-0104 HOW TO BE A VETERINARIAN You asked me to not tell anyone, but you want to be a vet. We talked a little bit after you rang me up and walked around the counter to talk to me some more. I should have ask for your number. If you’re single I’d love to talk to you again. What did I try to pay with or where do I work? When: Dec. 16, 2010. Where: Larry’s on Westside. #1051-1228

INTERESTING WAITER Interesting waiter who served my table the banquet. We looked at each other and talked briefly afterwards but not privately. Would like to chat more and get more acquainted. And, yes the glasses do make a tone. When: Dec. 10, 2010. Where: Banquet. #1049-1228 FRESH FROM THE GARDEN BOY You: big, muscular, Hispanic, dark skin, boy with the sexiest accent ever. I heard you go nuts 4 blondes. When: Dec. 5, 2010. Where: Garden Cafe. #1048-1228 To place your free I Saw U love connection, go to folioweekly.com/isawu.php fax 904.260.9773 or snail mail ATTN: I Saw U Folio Weekly, 9456 Philips Hwy., Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256

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BLUE HEELS ON BROADWAY Saw u at Broadway Deli across from St. Lukes. YOU: brunette, white striped shirt, blue skirt, striking blue heels. ME: white shirt, gray slacks. Couldn’t take my eyes off you. Saw you grab a Folio Weekly, thought I’d take a chance. When: Lunchtime, Feb. 1, 2011. Where: Broadway Deli. #1069-0208

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SEXY SAXIST SATURDAY NIGHT YOU: Your sultry lips creating magical notes and when you played the Jeopardy theme song, I knew it was meant to be. ME: Corner table, salt-andpepper hair, smiling the entire time. I spend a lot of time at Kosmics, when will I see you again? When: Jan. 22, 2011. Where: Kosmic Bluz. #1068-0201 HEY YOU, IN WALGREENS Saturday Night, you in tight blue jeans and very hot. I in my Adidas training gear, and looking

IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY Green eyes and hair of gold. It was your birthday. You and a friend were having a good time shooting darts. Can’t stop thinking about you. When: Nov. 19, 2010. Where: Monkey’s Uncle San Jose Blvd. #1054-0111

WE COMPARED OUR INJURED ARMS And you definitely caught my eye! After the trash cans “jumped out in front of me” in the aisle, you noticed my scar and we talked. You said my story was better than yours, and wished us a good night when you saw us later. Was hoping you’d ask for my number but you didn’t. Are you interested? I am. When: Dec. 18, 2010. Where: Walmart-San Jose Blvd. #1050-1228

RED HAIRED FEMEEFETALE Watched you as you walk into your hotel, been catching secret glimpses of you while working we work our shifts. You-beautiful long red hair, slender tight body with a booty, amazing smile. Wish you would appear on my hospital floor to say hi. you can have my heart, your so amazing. Me-dorky hospital care worker. in the Transplant unit. Mayo Clinic. Big white pickup truck. When: Jan. 26, 2011. Where: Marriott Courtyard @ Mayo Clinic. #1072-0208 TALL SVELTE BLONDE RIVERSIDE SNOW HUNNY 3,300 feet high on a mountain in a Patagonia snowsuit with two layers of North Face gloves and you still looked hot. I thought cabin fever was a bad thing until seeing you bathe in the kitchen. You were perfect; but I’m sorry for the frozen lock, rustic staircase, chick coffee, and the TSA confiscating your moonshine. Let me make it up to you by taking you from the top of the mountains to the depths of the sea. When: Jan. 19, 2011. Where: Riverside/Gatlinburg. #1071-0208

DELLWOOD DELIGHT I used to see you at the Brick regularly but I never had the guts to talk to you; now I see you cruising around in your green BMW convertible frequently. You: short, thin and beautiful. Me: uncontrollably shouts “I love you” whenever I see you. Our houses share the same street; do we have anything else in common? When: Dec. 23, 2010. Where: Riverside. #1055-0111

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FreeWill Astrology ARIES (March 21-April 19): “The most fundamental form of human stupidity is forgetting what we were trying to do in the first place,” said Friedrich Nietzsche. So for instance, if you’re the United States government and you invade and occupy Afghanistan so to wipe out al-Qaeda, it’s not too bright to continue fighting and dying and spending obscene amounts of money long after the al-Qaeda presence has been eliminated. (There are now fewer than 100 al-Qaeda fighters in that country: tinyurl. com/forgetwhy.) What’s the equivalent in your life? What noble aspiration propelled you down a winding path that led to entanglements having nothing to do with your original aspiration? It’s time to correct the mistake. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The Carnival season gets into full swing this weekend and lasts through Mardi Gras next Tuesday night. Wherever you are, use this as an excuse to achieve new levels of mastery in the art of partying. Of all the signs of the zodiac, you’re the one most in need of and most deserving of getting immersed in rowdy festivities that lead to maximum release and relief. To get in the right mood, read this from literary critic Mikhail Bakhtin. He said a celebration like this is a “temporary liberation from the prevailing truth and from the established order,” and encourages “the suspension of all hierarchical rank, privileges, norms and prohibitions.” GEMINI (May 21-June 20): When Bob Dylan first heard the Beatles’ “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band,” he only made it through the first few tunes. “Turn that sh*t off!” he said. “It’s too good!” He was afraid his own creative process might get intimidated, maybe even blocked, if he listened to the entire masterpiece. I suspect the exact opposite is true for you in the weeks ahead. As you expose yourself to excellence in your chosen field, you feel a growing motivation to express excellence yourself. The inspiration to be unleashed in you by your competitors trumps any potentially deflating effects of your professional jealousy. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Jungian storyteller Clarissa Pinkola Estes says one of her main influences is the Curanderisma healing tradition of Mexico and Central America. “In this tradition, a story is ‘holy,’ and it is used as medicine,” she told Radiance magazine. “The story is not told to lift you up, to make you feel better, or to entertain you, although all those things can be true. The story is meant to take the spirit into a descent to find something that is lost or missing and to bring it back to consciousness again.” You need stories like this and you need them now. It’s high time to recover parts of your soul you’ve neglected, misplaced or been separated from. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You’ve been fairly smart lately, but I think you can get even smarter. You’ve spied secrets in the dark, teased out answers from unlikely sources and untangled knots no one else had the patience to mess with — yet I suspect there are even greater glories possible. For inspiration, memorize this haiku-like poem by Geraldine C. Little: “The white spider / whiter still / in the lightning’s flash.” VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I won’t try to stop you, if you want to go around singing the Stone Roses’ song “I Wanna Be Adored.” I won’t be embarrassed for you if you turn your head to the night sky and serenade the stars chanting, “I wanna be adored, I deserve to be adored, I demand to be adored.” And I may even be willing to predict that your wish will be fulfilled on one condition: that you also express artful adoration for some worthy creature. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “The difference between the right word and the almost-right word,” said Mark Twain, “is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.”

44 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 1-7, 2011

Because the difference between the right word and the almost-right word is so crucial for you in the days ahead, I urge you maintain extra vigilance toward the sounds that come out of your mouth. But don’t be tense and repressed about it. Loose, graceful vigilance actually works better. The distinction between right and almost-right is equally important in other areas of your life. Be adroitly discerning. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Dear Rob: You often write about how we Scorpios will encounter interesting opportunities, invitations to be powerful and creative breakthroughs. But you rarely discuss the deceptions, selfish deeds and ugliness of the human heart that may be coming our way — especially in regard to what we are capable of ourselves. Why do you do this? My main concern is not in dealing with what’s going right, but rather persevering through difficulty. — Scorpio in the Shadows. Dear Scorpio: You have more than enough influences in your life to encourage you to be fascinated with darkness. I may be the only one committed to helping you cultivate your soul’s more undeveloped side: the part that thrives on beauty, goodness and joy. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Acupuncturists identify an energetic point in the ear called the spirit gate. If it’s stuck closed, the spirit’s locked in; if it’s stuck open, the spirit’s always coming and going, restless and unsettled. What’s ideal, of course, is that the spirit gate isn’t stuck in any position. Then the spirit can come and go as it needs, with the option of retreating and protecting itself. Imagine that a skilled acupuncturist is inserting a needle in the top of your left ear, where it’ll stay for about 20 minutes. Meanwhile, visualize your spirit gate in a state of harmonious health. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In his parody music video, “Sickest Buddhist,” comedian Arj Barker invokes a hip-hop sensibility, bragging about his spiritual prowess. Noting how skilled he is mastering his teacher’s instructions, he says, “The instructor just told us to do a 45-minute meditation / but I nailed it in 10.” I expect you’ll have a similar facility in the week ahead: Tasks that may be challenging for others seem like child’s play to you. You’ll be able to quickly sort through complications that may usually take days to untangle. (See the video at tinyurl.com/illBuddhist.) AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The sixth astronaut to walk on the moon was engineer Edgar Mitchell. He asserts extraterrestrials have visited Earth and governments are covering that up. The second astronaut to moonwalk was engineer Buzz Aldrin. He says there’s unquestionably an artificial structure built on Phobos, a moon of Mars. Some scientists dispute the claims of these experts, insisting aliens are myths. Who should we believe? Personally, I lean toward Mitchell and Aldrin. Having been raised by an engineer father, I know how unlikely it is for people of that mindset to make extraordinary claims. If you have to choose between competing authorities, I recommend that you opt for the smart mavericks instead of the smart purveyors of conventional wisdom. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): If I were you, I’d make interesting fun your meme of the week. According to my reading of astrological omens, you’ll be fully justified to make that your modus operandi and raison d’etre. For best results, put a priority on pursuing experiences that amuse you and captivate your imagination. As you consider whether to accept any invitation or seize any opportunity, make sure it’ll teach you something you don’t already know and transport you into a positive emotional state to get your endorphins flowing. Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

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PUNJABBING ACROSS 1 Plants in a Fugard title 6 Somewhat 10 Downfall 14 A tug may tow it 18 Part of a cell, the ___ body 19 Three-trio combo 21 Reverse 22 Co-star of “Apu of Mayberry”? 24 Publisher of Indian Gourmet magazine? 26 Ravi Shankar’s band? 28 “What have we here?!” 29 Goose genus 30 Commandment verb 31 Conscripted one 35 Toothpaste amount 38 Most popular word game in India? 41 “What will you be wearing in Poona, Oona?” 48 Unctuous 49 Actress Susan 50 Hard hike 51 Phony handle 52 Nuts 53 Pages and pages 55 Supreme Court duds 57 “Okay, you can visit that Indian city, but come right home!” 60 It’ll never fly 61 Minotaur’s home 63 ___ budget 64 Juan’s conclusion? 65 Baby-sitters 67 Clubber, opposite Rocky 68 b, d, f, h, k, or l 73 Subtle tone 74 James Clavell’s “___Pan” 75 Jumped between electrodes 76 Outside prefix 77 What 1987’s “The Untouchables” had? 82 Intensify

84 All-out attack 85 Upside-down, e.g. 86 Francis, e.g. 88 Like some loads 89 Dune buggy: abbr. 90 “No thanks, ___ already” 91 Indian dancer of the 1930s? 93 Most popular race in India? 97 Red or White follower 98 Piano pieces 99 Selassie disciple 103 “Chestnuts roasting ...” melody writer 108 Old boob-tube adjunct 109 Film about an Indian restaurant? 113 Actor in Indian spy films? 117 What you might feel while solving this puzzle? 118 Ready to serve 119 “Great!” 120 “The Family Circus” cartoonist Bil 121 “___ see it ...” 122 Greek letter 123 Brit’s intro 124 Strikes speechless

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72 Cowboy, at times beginning of camp? 74 Relax 25 “___ no idea!” 75 Quickly, quickly 27 Use a surgical beam 77 Clipped conjunction 31 Lama lead-in 78 “Stairway to Heaven” 32 Like some basins star David 33 The Axis, to the Allies 79 Lots 34 Ice cream brand 80 Filmmaker Jacques 36 “So that’s it!” 81 Tempe sch. 37 Not-so-hairy Norse 83 Farm female god? 84 Is up 39 Sitter in a eucalyptus 87 Ring outcome, briefly tree 90 Comrades ___ 40 Forecast extreme 91 Hog’s milieu? 41 Scatter (about) 92 Additional 42 Bakery beckoner 43 Counter (an argument) 94 Cigar city 44 A Clanton at the OK 95 Hankering Corral 96 Cantankerous 45 Runs amok 100 Saturates 46 Olympic swimmer’s 101 Play hard ___ slot 102 Pianist Claudio 47 Final extension? 104 Hedron intro 52 Decent chap 105 Reformer Jacob 53 For mature viewers 106 Persian comment 54 Joie de vivre 107 Ye olde Anglo-Saxon 56 Creator of “the little serf round-headed kid” 109 Bikini parts 58 Column style 110 Purview 59 Fuzzy hangups 111 Author of “The Magic 62 Barn-dance dance Mountain” 66 Shoot the breeze 112 After 6 p.m., in ads 67 Farm female 113 Actress Russell, to 68 Bandleader Shaw pals 69 Script sections 114 Jungle groomer 70 Dickens 115 Namath was one 71 Ooze 116 Paris accord?

DOWN 1 All ___ (excited) 2 Baritone-sax note 3 Five Norwegian kings 4 Florida flyer Solution to “Near-Miss Oscar Nominees” 5 Come (up to) slyly G U T S P L I T U S E R B O R A T 6 Actress Pier of “The O H H I E R O D E N E MO E N O C H Silver Chalice” T H E S O C I A L N I TW I T A I M E E A U R A L E E E S S O T O L S T O Y 3 7 Sty guy T H E K I D S A R E A L L R A T 8 Vacancy venues V E T S I D E A C I L I A 9 Lou’s clueless TV I C OM E H A H A WR I T E O F F S anchor N OO R L OO F A H C OO V E R A 10 Tiebreaker of a sort 1 2 7 S H OWE R S MC A N L I V E N E C O A S I A N S A N E S T 11 Spanish article A B E T H E K I N G S P E A C H R H O 12 Cards with photos C A R P U S E D I T S M A T 13 “___ a problem” T R OO P J E A N T H E F R I T T E R 14 Mex. miss O T I S S A P H E A L M E R O V E 15 “All the Way” lyricist R E C E P T I O N O P I A M YWA Y R A D I O N E S T T I V O Sammy E L I B L A C K E N E D SWA N 16 Items OG R I T S A L I A A R E T O B E 17 Unlike Joan’s hangers HT W A V O C W I N T E R S T R OM B O N E 20 Tough to solve AWA R E A L O E R E R U N D E E D 23 Sound heard at the WA L E S S OWS I M E T A D R Y 1

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Stop Signs

Or: All Hookers Are Not Created Equal

here is nothing quite as satisfying as eating a bag full of greasy fast food in a parking lot amid the ambiance of a city run amok by blood lust and bloated news headlines. Welcome to Jacksonville, Florida — where the murder rate, the drug dealers, the hookers and the homeless somehow make the fatty food taste all that much more succulent during an otherwise uneventful lunch hour. The scene: a semi-empty strip-mall parking lot located somewhere off Interstate 95 in the northeastern part of the Sunshine State. I sat there in a fully air-conditioned ambulance with my boots unzipped, listening to The Eagles’ “Life in the Fast Lane” quietly hum in the background as I ate my food and stared at the bus stop not more than 20 feet in front of me. My partner, completely oblivious to my observations, slept peacefully on the stretcher in the back of the bus. Now, when I say that I was staring at the bus stop, what I actually mean is that I was staring at the people there waiting for the bus, in particular an attractive woman sitting on the wood-and-concrete bench with the 1-800-ASKDAVE ad on it. Unknown to many, I know quite a bit about public transportation and the kinds of people who utilize it. Not only was I exposed to the wonders of public transportation (it’s cheap!) at a very young age, I was again exposed (OK, forced is a better word, due to a blown car engine, drug habit and lint-filled pockets) to its charms as a young but delusional man. The people who ride the bus are like an all-star cast of vaudeville performers, identical in just about every burg from here to there and every little shithole in between. Sure, the lines may change some and the backdrops are slightly more appealing in some cities, but the characters remain the same. There are, of course, the ordinary people who have no choice but to ride their city’s public transportation for whatever reason, be it poverty, bad luck, etc. These seemingly ordinary characters do not make any waves or eye contact or pay much attention to the carnival around them. They simply blend in and try to not get noticed … or stabbed. They are but minor characters. One of the more popular players is the homeless guy, who, depending on the stature of your particular burg, can be one guy or many guys. They can be crazy or quiet, funny or scary — naked or clothed. However, they’ll always be malodorous and constant. To them, the bus is a makeshift shelter on wheels where no one dare tell them otherwise, least of all the bus driver. The homeless ride and ride and ride until they’re removed by the police, beaten up by thugs or they spot something more enticing than cushy, crusted bus seats to nap on — say, a dumpster full of fresh, thrown-away food from your favorite greasy spoon. There are numerous other characters in this

play including but not limited to: the gangster (both the wannabe variety and the bona fide, real McCoy tough guy), the hustler (whom I have had personal experience losing money to), the pervert, the puking drug addict, the crazy old lady who shouts obscenities, the loud old guy who knows you, the screaming children who will not sit down and the parent who ignores them, the guy smoking weed on the bus, the obvious (to you) serial killer, the really unconvincing hairy transsexual, the talkative foreigner who doesn’t speak English, the pimp and, lastly (and the point of this story), the hooker. Modern-day hookers may or may not look like actual hookers. This has been proved time and again by several HBO documentaries. Much of how they present themselves depends on where you live and how lax the local prostitution laws are. I, myself, am no stranger to the observation of prostitutes; in fact, I’d say that, at one time, observing the behavior and mating habits of modern-day prostitutes was almost a hobby during the boring and not-so-boring hours at work. While scouring the streets behind the wheel of an ambulance in search of anything even remotely interesting to kill time, you find things that do. One of them is waving money at hookers. Unless it’s blatantly obvious (like New-YorkCity-obvious), it’s often difficult to discern if a person really is a hooker. What exactly is the criteria? Well, these days, just because a female is dressed provocatively, it doesn’t mark her as a working member of the sex industry. If you don’t believe me, I encourage you to visit your local mall. In fact, so many women dress the part, if H.G. Wells’ hero in “The Time Machine” were to fast-forward to 2011, he may think we’ve evolved into a species of pimps and hos instead of Morlocks and Eloi … and he may not be all that far off. All this observation begs the question: If a scantily clad woman sits nervously at a bus stop, looking at each passing car for some kind of connection, does that raise a red flag? Does it matter if she doesn’t seem to want to get on any of the buses? How about the fact that she walks away from the bus stop, only to walk back again and repeat the whole process? Honestly, I have no idea if it means a damn thing, but it’s food for thought while digesting the fine things fast food offers. So I speculated — losing a few French fries to the nether region under my seat — I thought for a second that the game was so obvious, maybe the bus-stop prostitute was not a prostitute at all, but instead, bait. Bait! Bait designed to lure in guys who might not be content with their fries or orange sodas. Guys who would end up with their mugs printed in some weekly advocate rag for all to see and mock; guys who do the hankypanky and pay cold, hard cash for the privilege. I had seen such things before, of course.

Once, while administering CPR to a crackhead next to a dumpster behind the Naval recruitment center on Philips Highway, I witnessed a prostitution sting the likes of which you would see on “COPS,” minus the reggae beat. Other than the truckloads of dumbasses being booked, I noticed one glaring detail: All the “prostitutes” were attractive. These women were unlike the toothless whores I usually carted off to the emergency room for “severe lower back pain” and a “prolapsed uterus.” These weren’t your usual, run-of-the-mill, I-could-be-the-living-dead hookers. They were, in fact, female police officers dolled-up to look the part and I’m sure they all hated that job. The whole ordeal made me realize that, like so many other things in life, if it looks too good to be true, it probably is. Mulling this over while getting down to the latter half of my orange soda and the last bite or two of my triple burger with cheese, I decided the bus-stop hooker was, in all likelihood, a cop. I also figured I might be on camera, stuffing my face and staring like a lunatic at a female cop dressed like a hooker. Part of me wanted to just go over and ask her, but I decided that was out of the question because A) if she was a cop, I’d probably get busted for soliciting and B) if she wasn’t a cop, I might get propositioned by a hooker and the last time that happened, it turned out to be a guy in a dress. Settled in the fact that I’d never know the truth, I crumpled my fast-food bag and shifted the vehicle into reverse, wholly intent on taking just one last look. The woman, still sitting at the bus stop and now waving at cars and smiling, looked back at me for a moment, almost as if to say, “Are you interested, or looking to arrest me?” As I left the parking lot, a call came on the radio. I hit the lights and siren to merge back onto the highway, no wiser than when I arrived and in search of real hookers, who, unlike the woman at the bus stop, would tell me just about anything to get a ride to the emergency room for free drugs. Santino J. Rivera

Rivera is a writer living in Jacksonville. He blogs at brokenswordpublications.com.

Folio Weekly welcomes Backpage Editorial submissions. Essays should be at least 1,200 words and on a topic of local interest or concern. Email your Backpage to themail@folioweekly. com or snail mail it to Anne Schindler, Editor, Folio Weekly, 9456 Philips Highway, Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256. Opinions expressed on the Backpage are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the editors or management of Folio Weekly. MARCH 1-7, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 47

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