Dear Dumbs,

Happy New Year to my favorite couple in the world. Although we’ve never met, I look forward to the day we do. My sister- in - law has really stepped into it. She’s 23 years old and kind of disappeared for a while. When I say “kind of” what I mean is that she was only available by phone. She always had an excuse to not join anybody for dinner or to even go to a movie.

We recently found out why. She was pregnant. She’s not married and made the decision to have the baby and give the child up for adoption. She found the family about three months into her pregnancy and followed through with her plan.

I thought what she did was mature and amazing. However, the rest of her immediate family doesn’t see it that way. They are hurt on many levels. They are pissed at her because she didn’t tell anybody, and they feel that they had a lot of love and support to give her and her child. To be honest, I don’t see them ever getting over it.

Is there anything I can do or say to my wife who really wanted to be an aunt? I hope my family will be able to let this go and let the new family raise this child in peace.

Bill E. Atlantic Beach, FL

TERRY: We’re starting the New Year with an easy one, Shari!

SHARI: Well, Bill, you’re right. Your sister-in-law showed an amazing amount of maturity. While I understand the hurt your wife must feel, I don’t understand the “wanting to be an aunt.” It’s not up to her. She wasn’t the one who was going to have to take care of and support the baby. This was solely your sister-in-law’s call.

TERRY: I think we need to point out to our amazing (and sexy) readers that we aren’t parents so we’re coming from that place. That being said, I find it easy to see both sides of this issue for some reason. I totally understand the family feeling slighted and disappointed. I also agree with Bill that this was a very thought out, mature decision. I hope time will heal all. However, I’m really concerned about the last line of this email, “I hope my family will be able to let this go and let the new family raise the child in peace.” Bill must know something.

SHARI: I think he knows that this baby needs to grow up in a loving, supportive household. If the birth family insists on inserting themselves into the situation, it will not be good for the child. Just mind your own business!

TERRY: I really hope that doesn’t happen. That would be horrible on so many levels. Well, Bill, I would sympathize with your wife while reinforcing the decision was 100% her sister’s to make.

SHARI: Agreed.

TERRY: So, there ya go. Let’s at least take a moment to wish everybody well in a situation where everybody’s heart is in the right place.