ACTUALLY, LET’S NOT: THINGS YOU SHOULDN’T SAY DURING THE HOLIDAYS Words by Amiyah Golden
As we prepare to gather around the dinner table for another holiday, we cannot do so without acknowledging the anxiety that comes with the obligatory seasonal game of “21 Unnecessary Questions Nobody Asked For!” *and theme show music plays.* I know we’re past the spooky season, but it’s still frightening when your mom tells you that Aunt Becky is coming (you know the aunt who is constantly in everyone’s business) and Uncle John (the one who thinks it’s his earthly duty to debate everyone on their political views). It can all just feel so overwhelming (especially when you know the night might end in wishbones and whines) and that can ultimately make the anticipated holiday cheer feel like holiday … dread. Thankfully I have an amazing family. Our dialogue is open and fun (but we’re all close so I don’t mind updating them on the arbitrary tales of my life), and although I’m fortunate enough to have lucked out with joyous holiday affairs, this unfortunately is not the case for everyone. I remember a couple years ago, “Black Twitter” had had enough of family members feeling comfortable spewing their most out-of-pocket commentary, so many users decided to challenge the hierarchy of age and began clapping back in defense. This ultimately created the infamous #thanksgivingclapbacks like: Aunt: “Where’s your husband?” Me: “Missing like your teeth.” – @divatia20 Aunt: “That’s a lot of gravy you’ve got there.” Me: “That’s a lot of kids you’ve got there.” – @thehoboquueen Now, these are just some examples of remarks made in defense by Twitter users who felt the need to combat the sly comments made by family members — with the same energy. This trend wasn’t just limited to the Black community/culture or exclusive to the Thanksgiving holiday, however, with users of all backgrounds sharing their experiences. In doing so, it fostered a communal conversation on disseminating the common denominator — a precocious family member or “elder” speaking out of turn — and why it was so normalized for them to have such audacity, especially around the holiday season. That said, I surveyed my friends and searched the internet for some things you just shouldn’t say or ask during the holidays.
38 Folio Weekly
