01/03/18 Person of the Year

2 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 3-9, 2018

JANUARY 3-9, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 3

THIS WEEK // 1.3.18-1.9.18 // VOL. 30 ISSUE 40 COVER STORY

[ 11]

2017 PERSON OF THE YEAR:

RON LITTLEPAGE Folio Weekly salutes the living legend who took Northeast Florida on a “GREAT RIDE” story by CLAIRE GOFORTH photos by MADISON GROSS

FEATURED ARTICLES FEATURED

DID GOV RACE GET TRUMPED?

[9]

BY A.G. GANCARSKI The fallout of a SURPRISE endorsement

A SOUND OF HER OWN

[13]

BY NICK McGREGOR BETTYE LAVETTE soldiered through decades of hits and near-misses; we finally caught up with her

BOOKER’S MAGIC BULLET [31]

BY SHELTON HULL The MARIJUANA JUSTICE ACT is the solution to the mass incarceration problem

COLUMNS + CALENDARS MAIL/B&B FROM THE EDITOR OUR PICKS FIGHTIN’ WORDS NEWS AAND NOTES MUSIC FILM

5 8 6 9 10 15 16

ARTS LISTING ARTS LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR DINING PINT-SIZED BITE-SIZED CHEFFED-UP

16 17 19 22 23 24 25

PET PARENTING CROSSWORD / ASTROLOGY WEIRD / I SAW U CLASSIFIEDS M.D. M.J.

26 28 29 30 31

GET SOCIAL visit us online at

FOLIOWEEKLY.COM PUBLISHER • Sam Taylor sam@folioweekly.com / 904.860.2465 ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER • T. Farrar Martin fmartin@folioweekly.com

EDITORIAL

EDITOR • Claire Goforth claire@folioweekly.com / ext. 115 SENIOR EDITOR • Marlene Dryden mdryden@folioweekly.com / ext. 131 A&E EDITOR • Madeleine Peck Wagner madeleine@folioweekly.com / ext. 128 EDITORIAL INTERNS • Tommy Robelot, Josh Hodges CARTOONIST • Tom Tomorrow CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Rob Brezsny, John E. Citrone, Josue Cruz, Julie Delegal, Susan Cooper Eastman, Marvin Edwards, A.G. Gancarski, Dan Hudak, Shelton Hull, MaryAnn Johanson, Mary Maguire, Keith Marks, Pat McLeod, Nick McGregor, Jake Gerken, Kara Pound, Dale Ratermann, Nikki Sanders, Matthew B. Shaw, Chuck Shepherd, Brentley Stead, Chef Bill Thompson, Marc Wisdom VIDEOGRAPHERS • Doug Lewis, Ron Perry

DESIGN

ART DIRECTOR • Chaz Bäck cback@folioweekly.com / ext. 116 SENIOR GRAPHIC DESIGNER • Madison Gross madisong@folioweekly.com

BUSINESS & ADMINISTRATION BUSINESS MANAGER • Lorraine Cover fpiadmin@folioweekly.com / ext. 119

4 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 3-9, 2018

DISTRIBUTION Bobby Pendexter / cosmicdistributions@gmail.com

ADVERTISING PUBLISHER Sam Taylor sam@folioweekly.com / (904) 860-2465 MULTIMEDIA ACCOUNT MANAGERS CJ Allen CJAllen946@gmail.com / ext. 140 Kathrin Lancelle klancelle@folioweekly.com / ext. 124 Tony Fuesler tony@folioweekly.com Pat Ladd pat@folioweekly.com / ext. 151

FOLIO WEEKLY MAGAZINE IS PUBLISHED EVERY WEDNESDAY THROUGHOUT NORTHEAST FLORIDA AND CAMDEN COUNTY, GEORGIA. It contains opinions of contributing writers that are not necessarily the opinion of this publication.

Folio Weekly Magazine welcomes editorial and photographic contributions. Calendar information must be received two weeks in advance of event date.

Copyright © Folio Publishing, Inc. 2018. All rights reserved. Advertising rates and information are available on request. An advertiser purchases right of publication only. One free issue copy per person.

Additional copies and back issues are $1 each at the office or $4 by U.S. mail, based on availability. First Class mail subscriptions are $48 for 13 weeks, $96 for 26 weeks and $189 for 52 weeks. Please recycle Folio Weekly.

Folio Weekly Magazine is printed on 100% recycled paper using soy-based inks.

thefolioweekly

@folioweekly

@folioweekly

Mobile App

For the best in Live Music, Arts, Sports, Food and Nightlife, download our DOJAX Mobile App by texting “Folio” to 77948

45 West Bay Street Suite 103 Jacksonville, Florida 32202 PHONE 904.260.9770 FAX 904.260.9773

THE MAIL beliefs of the many. You are our mothers, sisters, daughters, cousins, etc. who compose one equal half of the species we call the human race. For that matter, do not despair because the true, honest and gentle men of this country know better than to act inappropriately in your company. We will always cherish your beauty, charm and most important, your intelligence.

Now help us to drive this dreadful scourge from the planet once and for all.

It is up to all of us. Let us begin.

Joe Bialek via email

THE SCOURGE OF Y CHROMOSOMES

THIS LETTER IS IN RESPONSE TO THE ARTICLES covering the sexual harassment allegations made against men in the media and government throughout the United States.

To all males living in this country I issue a collective statement: Enough already! Who are you to impose your sexual desires on someone because they did not give you their consent? Once again we are witnessing those in authority positions taking advantage of the situation.

Resignation is the least you can do.

Prosecution is the best we can do … and we will.

What did you expect to gain from making sexual advances on a human being?

If this isn’t an indication of the failure to grow up, I don’t know what is. Those men who have permeated this transgression must seek counseling before they destroy more lives executing their perverted conquest. Otherwise, time spent in prison will allow them to dwell on their evil actions while trying to survive an environment that is the closest equivalent to hell on earth.

Perhaps I had the advantage of growing up with four sisters in my family, which some say predispositions males to be kinder to females throughout all stages of their life. Frankly, I remember times when I was embarrassed for making incidental contact with a female followed by an immediate apology.

Ladies of America, please be assured that the actions of a few do not represent the feelings and

OVERSET

GOOD IDEA

RE.: “Jay Fant: Let’s Legalize Discrimination Against LGBTQs,” folioweekly.com, by Claire Goforth, Dec. 21 CAN WE LEGALIZE DISCRIMINATION AGAINST despicable numbskulls instead? Guess not; we tend to elect them by margins of 3 votes.

Joe Vicki Lowrey via Facebook

LIGHTING UP THE DULLARDS

RE.: “Jay Fant: Let’s Legalize Discrimination Against LGBTQs,” folioweekly.com, by Claire Goforth, Dec. 21 IT’S TO RALLY THE UNEDUCATED DINGBATS WHO follow him. You should see the crap in the comments every time he posts something on Facebook. He moves farther and farther to the right every time he posts, too.

Jeni Heneghan via Facebook

WARMED BY THE TRUMPSTER FIRE

RE.: “Trump vs. the Media,” by Louis R. Franzini, Dec. 20 NATIONAL MEDIA DEFINITELY BROKE WITH TRADITION in 2016 considering the amount of free media Trumpster mouth received. Usually, presidential elections are like a Christmas that only comes every four years. They should have been making big money from him, but decided giving it away for free was the right thing to do. I hope the rewards for this charity were worth it.

Jim Minion via Facebook

LEND YOUR VOICE If you’d like to respond to something you read in the pages of Folio Weekly, please send an email (with your name, address, and phone number for verification purposes only) to mail@folioweekly.com, visit us at folioweekly.com, or follow us on Twitter or Facebook (@folioweekly) and join the conversation.

BRICKBATS + BOUQUETS BOUQUETS TO SULZBACHER CENTER Continuing its daily tradition of caring for some of the most disadvantaged members of our community, on Christmas Day, Sulzbacher Center staff, board members and volunteers served a hearty meal to several hundred homeless and impoverished people.

They also had Santa and Mrs. Claus on hand to provide gifts to more than 60 homeless children.

BRICKBATS TO ANTI-COMMUNITY GARDENERS After three seasons, the RAP Community Garden has apparently decided that “community” really isn’t their thang. Citing problems with people stealing produce, which many contest as simply the work of wildlife, in part due to gardeners’ failing to harvest in a timely fashion, FW hears they’re installing a locked gate to keep the community out of this public park. Locked gates around city-owned parks? Just no.

BOUQUETS TO SOUTH DOCTORS LAKE LTD. Over the last several years, North Florida Land Trust has rapidly acquired conservation property in the region. Last week, the nonprofit announced that South Doctors Lake Ltd. had gifted it with 388 acres of land around Black Creek and Doctors Lake.

The floodplain forest will help facilitate flood control by acting as a natural buffer and will improve the health of Black Creek and Doctors Lake.

DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? HOW ABOUT A BRICKBAT? Send submissions to mail@folioweekly.com; 50 word maximum, concerning a person, place, or topic of local interest.

JANUARY 3-9, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5

FRIENDS & NEIGHBORS

SAT

6

EXPLORE ISLAM

The Islamic Center of North East Florida invites folks from all over the region to its new facility, for an informational night of fellowship. A tour, dinner and a chance to join a discussion on Islam are featured. And the whole thing is free! If visiting as part of a group or if you have dietary concerns, email exploreislam@icnef.org in advance. 6-8 p.m. Saturday, Jan. 6, free (register eventbrite.com), at Islamic Center of North East Florida, 2333 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., facebook.com/icnef.

OUR PICKS

REASONS TO LEAVE THE HOUSE THIS WEEK

GO JAGS! GO, FIGHT, WIN!

FRI

5

FABULOUS FRIDAY CON BRIO STRING QUARTET It’s Friday Musicale’s 128th season, and the musical organization celebrates with this quartet of

young, internationally sourced musicians: Valentin Mansurov, Marina Lenau, David Pedraza and Aziz Sapaev. In addition to performing across the globe, violinist Mansurov won first prize in the former USSR’s 14th National String Competition. And if movies from the ’80s (and Olympic doping scandals) have taught us anything, it’s that the Russians are serious as Siberia about contests. Con Brio performs (with spirit!) 11 a.m. and 7:30 p.m. Friday, Jan. 5 at Friday Musicale, 645 Oak St., Riverside, free, fridaymusicale.com.

SUN

7

HYPERION & CHILL By making the playoffs, the Jags have made a few hundred thousand dreams come true.

If they don’t win, we don’t care—we love ’em anyway (and, like parents, are still super-proud)! To that end, Hyperion Brewing Company is hosting a playoff potluck when the Jags take on the Buffalo Bills, complete with a big-screen TV, delicious beer and crossed fingers, in its Helios Beer Garden, noon-10 p.m., kickoff 1:05 p.m., Sunday, Jan. 7, 1740 N. Main St., Springfield; to bring something, hit signupgenius.com.

SAT

6

FRI

5

ROCK ON (AND ON) NEW YEAR’S THROWDOWN POETS AND DREAMERS JAZZ POETRY CAFÉ If the idea of sitting in a café listening to poetry punctuated by jazz sounds

like an appealing way to settle into 2018, then get yourself Downtown and experience a slew of poets, including (among others) Demo Dennard (pictured),), Mitessa Hill, Shae Allen, Christian Williams, Cousin Supp and Chocolate Fe DaPoet; live music by Legendary Diversity. 7 p.m. Friday, Jan. 5 at the café, 956 N. Liberty St., Springfield, $10-$25, eventbrite.com, 853-1262.

6 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 3-9, 2018

Local metal favorites Evergreen Terrance (if you missed their June shows at Nighthawks, here’s your chance to atone) headline a 21-band, day-into-night-long concert sure to light a fire in your belly and make you feel like tackling 2018 the most epic way you can imagine—for some of us, that epic-ness looks like finally setting fire to our démodé shoe collection—but we digress. The bands confirmed (as of press-time) are Boys No Good, Just Like Gentlemen (pictured), Mizzy Raw, Personalities, Cloud9 Vibes, Young Ghosts, Hungover, Inverventions, Phantoms, Puzzles to Pieces, Suck Brick Kid, Boysin, That Guy Treshun, Speech Patterns, Fair Fight, Drowning Above Water, Hippy Blaine, She Bleeds Merlot and Metama. Wear comfy shoes (passé or not); doors 11 a.m. Saturday, Jan. 6 at Mavericks Live, Jacksonville Landing, $15, mavericksatthelanding.com.

JANUARY 3-9, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7

FROM THE EDITOR

A HILLIKIN IN

FLORIDA Sallie Parker joins the GATOR NATION

8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 3-9, 2018

WITH ANOTHER YEAR IN THE BOOKS, AND A BRAND new chapter to begin, I couldn’t decide how to kick off 2018.

So I went to visit my old friend Sallie Parker at a local pub where she was holding court on the pool table with her trusty McDermott. Louisville’s and the University of Kentucky’s basketball teams were battling on TV and the place was packed with boisterous Kentuckians in town for the bowl game.

“Sallie, old gal,” I called when she rose from sinking the 11 in a long shot down the rail, “I see you’re still a shark.”

“Well, if it ain’t the big city newspaper woman,” she said, her Appalachian lilt unchanged. We hugged.

“It’s an altweekly,” I corrected, but was drowned by a sudden chant of “C-A-R-D-S, Cards!”

“Boy, they sure are proud of their spelling,” Sallie remarked, lining up a 10-14 combo. The 14 glanced off the side pocket corner.

“Damn titties,” we mumbled in unison.

Looking pleased, Sallie’s opponent, a Georgia Bulldog fan, took an easy shot in the corner but hit it too hard and the cue ricocheted off the rail into the eight, which plopped into the side pocket as smooth as a fish.

Sallie offered him her hand but he was busy letting out a string of swears.

“That boy couldn’t get his balls in a hole at the Bunny Ranch,” Sallie said as he wandered off, still cursing.

“Sallie!” I exclaimed.

She shrugged and nodded at the table.

“Nobody’s up next. You wanna shoot the rest?”

“Sure, but don’t expect much. I haven’t practiced in a while, so I’m probably pretty rusty.”

She handed over the McDermott. “Don’t bother with them house sticks. They’re crookeder than a politician’s pecker.”

I laughed in spite of myself as she headed for the bar, her solid hillbilly form swallowed in baggy jeans and a Tebow jersey. I’d have to ask her about that jersey.

Sallie’s cue was a little longer than I like and only 16 ounces, lighter than I had any business using when I hadn’t played in months, but the wood was smooth without being tacky with gloss, so even without hand chalk, it slid in the hollow between my left thumb and index finger in a sure, easy stroke.

I’d knocked in the ducks, made a combo on the second try and was aiming at the last ball, a long, deep cut—my specialty in days gone by—when Sallie returned. The ball bumped the edge of the pocket and rolled in.

“Rusty, my left foot,” Sallie said, handing me a draft. It was still early, but I know better than to argue with Sallie when drinking is concerned.

“I wanted it clean; if we were playing straight eight, that would’ve been as good as a miss.”

“Same ol’ tightwad,” she said, grinning.

We clinked glasses and took a swallow.

“So, tell me about things. How’s Junior liking Florida? Y’all getting settled in? Sure looks like it,” I said, pointing at the jersey.

“Figured I should try to fit in. First time in my life anyone ever called me a Yankee, but I s’pose they don’t know no better. Ain’t no Yankees in West Virginia. Southerners neither.”

I didn’t bother correcting her. We’d gone ’round about it enough when we were kids.

“And I’ll tell you what, even though we moved here in September, at first we thought we’d landed south of the gates of Hell. Junior ’bout broke down and got an air conditioner.

Thank the Lord the kids’re old enough they don’t crawl in with us. Only way you can sleep is naked as the good Lord made you.”

“That’s Florida,” I agreed. “It gets hotter before it cools off.”

“Now, I will admit, the government down here has got me confused. I thought Florida was full of New Yorkers, but I swear, they’re more conservative here than in the mountains.

“More bigoted, too. And why do folks keep building so close to the ocean? Everyone knows the seas are rising. Me and Junior checked the elevation before we bought our place and we ain’t got but a high school diploma and a year of community college between us.”

“It’s a conundrum,” I said.

“Well, I don’t know about no conundumb, but I do know it don’t make no sense. ’Course, neither does all that nonsense about refusing to bake somebody a cake and calling it ‘freedom.’ Back home, freedom don’t mean you get to tell other folks which side of their bread to butter.

“I’m sure looking forward to giving my representatives a piece of my mind come election time. They gotta do a better job protecting the environment; elsewise, my kids won’t have a river to fish or a forest to hunt when they grow up. They try to give me some lip and they’ll be sorry they messed with Sallie Parker.”

“You ain’t lyin’,” I said.

Claire Goforth claire@folioweekly.com @ClaireNJax

FOLIO VOICES : FIGHTIN’ WORDS I SEE MORE OF POLITICIANS THAN I WOULD LIKE, and the most revealing moments are always the ones just before a politician steps into the spotlight.

It’s easy to fake it on demand. But the moments before that are the ones that reveal the true character.

Much has been made of Ron DeSantis, the U.S. Congressman who represents St. Johns County and points south, getting into the Florida governor’s race.

In large part, that has been because his political team puts out breadcrumbs every couple of months, suggesting strongly that the groundwork is being laid for a run.

DeSantis is one of the smartest people in Northeast Florida politics—a degree from Yale, with a Harvard Law chaser— and he certainly seems to know it. That makes for some awkwardness when it comes to the grip-and-grin parts of the program.

At one event in 2016, I was walking behind DeSantis into a building where Flagler County Republicans were congregating. Generally, it’s the type of thing where someone reflexively holds a door so it doesn’t slam behind them. That wasn’t DeSantis’ style.

At another event in 2016, when DeSantis was looking at a run for senate (before Marco Rubio reversed course and ran for re-election), DeSantis waited less than patiently as a laundry list of politicians addressed Nassau County Republicans.

The retail politics thing isn’t his strong suit.

And there are those here, prominent Republicans, no less, who will volunteer less-than-positive feelings about DeSantis, using a certain seven-letter scatology to describe him.

All of that said, none of it may matter.

DeSantis, who isn’t officially in the governor’s race yet, might as well be.

After all, President Trump endorsed him on Twitter, driving a dagger through the hearts of the rest of the GOP field.

“Congressman Ron DeSantis is a brilliant young leader, Yale and then Harvard Law, who would make a GREAT Governor of Florida. He loves our Country and is a true FIGHTER!” In terms of an endorsement for a Republican primary candidate, could there be anything better? Sure, Trump played the Alabama Senate race about as badly as it could be played.

But Ron DeSantis is the antithesis of Roy Moore; DeSantis is generally the smartest guy in the room, and as those who have seen him and Casey Black together will assert that he definitely married up.

DeSantis addressed Trump’s tweet after XMas on Fox and Friends—the official television program of The Villages.

“I can tell you that when that tweet went out, the amount of buzzing on my phone

from calls and texts, I thought the phone was malfunctioning, or there was something going on,” said DeSantis. “When he tweets, and he has 100 million people that are seeing that, it’s a really, really big deal, and I really appreciate the kind words from the President.” “[Trump] loves Florida, and he’s been good for Florida, and I anticipate he’ll continue to do that,” DeSantis said, adding that he’ll “come back on [the show] in the New Year and break some news then.”

Whether Trump has been good for Florida or not is debatable. We’re still waiting for FEMA money, and we are about one storm away from serious budget cuts locally and elsewhere.

While the narrative that Trump has been good for Florida plays with Republicans, it presents existential problems for other candidates.

Agriculture Commissioner Adam Putnam has run a very disciplined campaign, and he has been a draw: I saw him hold a crowd of 400 people deep on the Westside on a weeknight, a cross-section of local Republicans. The homophobes came out, the moderates came out, with a quorum of city councilmembers in between.

Where do they go now? They all but took Putnam’s promise ring before Christmas break.

And now they may have to return it. Because God forbid they go against the president.

House Speaker Richard Corcoran was supposed to be running to the right of Putnam. But where does he go now? Corcoran said he won’t even announce until March, and while a reliable Koch Brothers ideologue, he’s not exactly dripping charisma.

Trump backing DeSantis works really well for one Democrat in the field: frontrunner Gwen Graham.

Graham is the only one with establishment bona fides and fundraising ability, and she can make the case that the race has been nationalized. From there, it follows that she—not Tallahassee Mayor Andrew Gillum or Philip Levine—should be the logical consensus candidate.

Can Graham hang with DeSantis in debates? That remains to be seen.

However, if Mayor Gillum were the nominee, can you imagine the bloodbath when DeSantis goes in on the culture of corruption in Tallahassee city government?

You’d have to buy stock in triage units.

It’s looking like a DeSantis/Graham general election. And Democrats should be worried if that’s the case.

A.G. Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com @AGGancarski

DID GOV RACE GET

TRUMPED?

OVERSET

The fallout of a SURPRISE ENDORSEMENT

JANUARY 3-9, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9

NEWS AAND NOTES: IMPACT EDITION TOP HEADLINES FROM THE ASSOCIATION OF ALTERNATIVE NEWSMEDIA CLOSED A SEX OFFENDER CAMP

>

After three years of county officials and local police ignoring complaints, Miami New Times reported on the squalid conditions experienced by scores of sex offenders who, due to city and county residency restrictions, had no place to live but in a filthy tent city with no bathrooms or running water, near train tracks outside Hialeah. Two weeks later, Miami-Dade County Homeless Trust workers, city officials and police officers visited the site and subsequently announced they’d close the camp, which one called a “sanitation and security nightmare,” Miami New Times reports, and work to find housing for the more than 300 sex offenders who had registered it as their domicile—one of a few places available to them after a 2005 ordinance banned sex offenders from living with 2,500 feet of schools, day cares, churches, etc.

Closing the camp was not only seen as a long-overdue act of mercy for the individuals who lived there, but as a long-overdue measure to protect businesses in the neighborhood, which had for years complained that the squatters and the mess they created were having a stifling effect on their businesses.

< STARTED REHABILITATING ABUSERS

For many years, the alternative newsmedia has extensively covered survivors of domestic violence, and the difficulties many face breaking the cycle and recovering from the abuse.

There’s certainly ample justification for punishing aggressors— but perhaps there’s room for treatment, too. East Bay Express profiled Men Creating Peace, a nonprofit in Oakland, California that offers a 52-week, three-phase program for domestic violence offenders and men struggling with anger issues. It also offers the program in a local prison. EBE reports that, to participate, each man must agree with two statements: “I have been abusive to myself and others” and “I am willing to stop my abuse to myself and others.”

In the program, men identify different forms of violence, work on reconnecting with themselves and becoming more skilled at intimacy and communication, addressing codependency, unhealthy relationships and creating strategies for the future.

< TAKE ’EM ALL DOWN

JOEL JO OEL B BAGNAL AGNA AG NAL NA L GO GOLD GOLDSMITH LDSM LD SMIT SM ITH

LAHERENCIA LAHE LA HERE HE RENC RE NCIA NC IA C CAFE AFE AF E

11B AVILES ST. • 904-614-4706

4 AVILES ST. • 904-829-9487

Custom gold and silver designs

Cuban-American

Well, ‘take one down’ would be more accurate. As citizens from across North Carolina called for Confederate monuments to be removed from public spaces, one group in Durham literally took matters into their own hands. In August, protesters there tore down a Confederate monument in response to the violence in Charlottesville. Indy Week noted that North Carolina Governor Roy Cooper condemned the action, but not the result, saying there was “a better way” to effect their desires. Cooper later called for the removal of all such monuments and urged the state historical commission to relocate three monuments on state capitol grounds. The commission demurred until April.

< APOCALYPSE, HERE WE COME!

GEORGIA NICKS GALLERY

PEACE PIE

Fine art, stained glass, books & leatherworks

Ice cream sandwiches

11A AVILES ST. • 904-342-2186

8 AVILES ST. • 904-295-8232

HOOKEY OOKEY HAMILTON AVILES GALLER GALLERY

XIMENEZ-FATIO ENEZ FATIO HOUSE MUSEUM 17 1798

11C AVILES ST. • 904-823-8608

20 AVILES ST. • 904-829-3575

Award-winning local artists

10 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 3-9, 2018

19th Century boarding house

After the year that we’ve had, it’s really not too surprising that there’s a growing movement of “preppers,” aka survivalists, preparing for the coming apocalypse. Planet Jackson Hole climbed down in the bunker of one such individual, who estimates that, for his family of four, he’s dumped a cool halfmillion dollars into a hole in the ground. And by ‘hole,’ we mean a state-of-the-art survival unit complete with a threemonth supply of water, a massive generator and a top-notch septic system.

Even more fascinating than the preppers’ strategies for surviving the collapse of society, nuclear war, a meteorite, plague, etc., even more entrancing than the variety of ways in which they believe humankind will meet its doom in the very near future, is a little-known movement called American Redoubt. American Redoubt was started by James Wesley, Rawles (PJH notes, “Yes, that comma is there on purpose.

Sir Rawles is a stylish guy.”), a former U.S. Army Intelligence officer, who penned an essay urging conservative Christians and Jews to create their own survivalist areas or, as he put it, “a conscious retrenchment into safe haven states.” Rawles suggested Montana, Idaho and Wyoming as well as adjacent areas in Oregon and Washington and urged his fellow conservatives to relocate to these places to “create a safe zone for conservatives who shared the same moral framework,” PJH writes.

Folio Weekly salutes the living legend who took Northeast Florida on a “great ride” FOLIO WEEKLY 2017

PERSON OF THE YEAR

RON LITTLE

PAGE

W

story by CLAIRE GOFORTH

hoever said “Never meet your idols” must not have met Ron Littlepage.

Fans of the legendary journalist who retired from The Florida Times-Union last month after 39 years with the paper, 28 as a columnist, will miss the crisp staccato that years in the newspaper business gave his writing, the thoughtful inflection of his sentences, the sharpness of his rebukes. Even Littlepage’s critics have derived pleasure from his work, albeit some of them from insulting his intelligence, opinions and common sense. (And his beard, of course.)

Many local politicians will miss him very little … until one of their enemies misbehaves. Then they, too, will long for the voice of Ron Littlepage to come crackling from of the page like shots from a firing squad.

In print, he is a giant. His prose on the environment, government spending, justice, downtown development, humanity, boiled peanuts and fish camps so captures the

essence of this time and this place as to encapsulate it for all time.

In person, he is unassuming, soft-spoken, quick to laugh and quicker to think. Two days after Christmas, he arrives for a lunchtime interview at Palms Fish Camp in a ballcap, red flannel shirt and good mood. Though it’s a Wednesday and a grey, chilly one at that, the restaurant is filled with smiling faces, cheerful conversation infusing warmth over the pleasant wafts of cracker cooking.

As he shares snippets of wisdom, experience, anecdotes and a secret or two over a red snapper sandwich and salad, Littlepage has no idea he’s being named Folio Weekly’s Person of the Year.

Unable to resist the small gift of a big surprise, a fan decided to let him find out in much the same way his column’s subjects learned their fate at the end of his pen: by reading it in print.

photos by MADISON GROSS

B

orn Ronald L. Littlepage in January 1948, he spent his formative years in Corpus Christi, Texas, where his parents owned an eyeglass- and lens-making company. His were pious intents after high school; he told his former T-U colleague Matt Soergel last month that he’d intended to become a minister until “I discovered beer and women” while attending Baylor University. After graduating with a degree in English and minor in journalism, he did a brief turn in law school before deciding that wasn’t a good fit, either.

He then took to a Volkswagen camper and joined many of his generation searching for something—truth, meaning, adventure, fun—on the winding roads of America. Littlepage had always loved writing and wanted to be a writer—though he says that he doesn’t have the talent to write fictional novels— but at the time, he wasn’t sure what direction his life would take beyond the next state line. When the phone rang during a visit home in 1970 and a journalism professor from Baylor asked if he’d like to work for UPI in Houston, he said ‘yes.’

It wasn’t a completely unprecedented decision; after all, he has ink in his blood—his grandfather had been a police reporter in San Antonio. “I always had admiration for what he did,” he says. Still, if the stars hadn’t lined up, it’s anyone’s guess what might have become of Ron Littlepage. “If I hadn’t been in Corpus Christi that day and gotten that phone call, it might all have been different,” he says.

CONTINUED NEXT PAGE >>> JANUARY 3-9, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11

“I’m very fearful for the environment,” Littlepage says. “I’ve been fearful for a long time, especially under Governor Scott.

I’M MORE FEARFUL WITH SCOTT AND PRESIDENT TRUMP.”

RON LITTLEPAGE FW 2017 PERSON OF THE YEAR

.

<<< FROM PREVIOUS

12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 3-9, 2018

Like many journalists, Littlepage learned the trade on the job with copy editors, the AP Stylebook, mistakes and veteran reporters and editors as his guides. Eight years later, he got another call, this time from his first boss at UPI, Darrell Mack, who by then was working for the T-U, asking if he wanted to move to Jacksonville. In September 1978, he started working at the paper where he would spend most of his career, beginning a life in the city that would become as much his muse as its politics and struggles the cause of his (mostly) good-natured chagrin.

Littlepage laughs to recall how, after he became a columnist in 1989, his style caught some city officials off-guard. “Nobody had written the kind of column I was writing at the Times-Union. So I think it probably took [thenMayor Tommy Hazouri] by surprise,” he says.

“I thought to be a successful columnist … you have to take strong positions with strong language, and you have to back them up, with the reporting,” he later adds. True to form, anyone who has even casually reported the goings-on in Jacksonville over the years has seen that increasingly grey (sorry, Ron) and balding (sorry, again) head pop up in the crowd at expected and unexpected spots.

Among the press corps, he sometimes comes across as a bit of a lone wolf, but he mingles easily with reporter and powerbroker alike.

His willingness to be there in the place where the thing is happening, talking to the people who are doing it, analyzing and digging into things that intrigue or bother him, gives his work a solid backbone that mere opinionslinging cannot possess.

Though sharp his critiques have been, even-handedness has earned Littlepage the respect of peers and critics alike. He may have been hard on now-Councilman Hazouri in the past, but he is equally quick to commend him for leading the charge to eradicate the putrid smell of industry that formerly characterized the Downtown area along the river and for getting rid of the toll roads during his time as mayor.

He often writes on politics, but Littlepage has also often shared with readers an unsinkable love for the St. Johns River and other waters, appreciation of local culture and anecdotes from his home and family life. “The main thing is, don’t be a Johnny-one-note,” he recalls being advised early in his career as a columnist. “… I think that helped me develop a wider audience.”

Even given that there are infinite topics, it takes a lot of discipline and inspiration to write columns week in and week out—he said that, in the beginning, he’d do five a week, later three—for nearly three decades without the words becoming stale or tiresome; every writer who has been committed to a word count regardless of their motivation on a given day knows the frustrating blankness that can, on occasion, feel crippling. Littlepage imparted some simple advice on this matter: Get out of the office and talk to people.

“I got out and spoke to a lot of groups …

I think that’s important,” he says.

O

ne of the people with whom Littlepage has regularly conversed over the years is a figment of his imagination. Littlepage says he invented Jimmy Ray Bob in 1992 in a sort of nod to the legendary Chicago columnist Mike Royko, whose character Slats Grobnik entertained readers until Royko’s untimely death in 1997. Whereas Slats was a stereotypical working-class Polish Chicagoan, Jimmy is a straight-talking, proud, redneck peanut-boiler from the backwoods of Florida. Through the vehicle of Jimmy, Littlepage has been able to talk about the things that everybody was talking about and nobody wanted to talk about officially, and things that may have been difficult to discuss, even for him.

In his final column, which he titled, “How do you say goodbye? Just ask Jimmy Ray Bob,” Littlepage’s old friend interrupted the beginnings of a sentimental reverie on the years gone by with a rebuke: “Cut the drama, Littlepage,” Jimmy Ray Bob said. “Everybody already knows you’re retiring.”

That flash of humor and sly, dry wit shines through in much of his work, even the odd news nugget pieces that he’d begin with “Mousing around the news of the day…” and break up into mini-chapters with a click. But when he’s speaking through Jimmy, you get the sense of the man Littlepage might have been had he not answered the phone in Corpus Christi that day, the man he both is and is not today. As obvious as his intelligence is, he is a simple soul who accurately describes himself as “a pretty easy guy to get along with.” An avid hunter, fisherman and gardener, Littlepage and his wife own a 100-acre farm comprising timberland and wildlife habitat in the Panhandle, where he plans to spend much of his retirement—when he’s not visiting the grandkids, of course. It’s easy to imagine him boiling peanuts over a grill and knocking back a few cold ones on a chilly day in early spring, with the most serious contemplation of the hour being whether to have venison or fish for supper.

CONTINUED NEXT PAGE >>>

JANUARY 3-9, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 13

RON LITTLEPAGE FW 2017 PERSON OF THE YEAR

.

<<< FROM PREVIOUS

L

ittlepage’s work shines in many areas, but on environmental issues it is unparalleled; his advocacy for our rivers, trees, air and land is passionate and well-reasoned. Now, as he enters this next chapter of life, the future of the ecosystem worries him.

“I’m very fearful for the environment,” he says. “I’ve been fearful for a long time, especially under Governor Scott. I’m more fearful with Scott and President Trump.”

As to the city that has been his home these four decades, he sees good things on the horizon … if it can get its act together and finally achieve its potential, which has proved so elusive throughout these many years. He also believes that the city needs to acknowledge that others—minorities, the poor—have been neglected in its quest to become the Bold New City of the South. “I think Jacksonville’s got to face the reality that a good part of the city has been left out,” he says. He told Soergel for the

T-U last month that his one regret is not spending enough words on the plight of such folks, saying, “I probably should have spent more time writing about those people, raised in a broken home, severe poverty, bad schools.”

Even as he leaves his office on the St. Johns River, Ron Littlepage isn’t really gone. He’s left behind a bit of himself in everyone who has ever read one of his columns and taken his words to heart. And we can be grateful that he plans to continue writing, just not three columns a week, 52 weeks a year. Fast approaching 70, with literally thousands of column inches and millions of words under his belt, he’s certainly earned a respite. As indebted as Northeast Florida may feel to Ron Littlepage, a recognition which has prompted many to reach out to express their admiration and sense of loss at the news of his retirement, he is equally grateful for us and for what he calls his “great ride.”

“In a lot of ways, I won the lottery. Good family, got to go to college, lucked into journalism, a career I really loved and getting to write a column for 28 years, being part of the dialogue that’s gone on in the city. I’m lucky, I really am.”

So are we, Ron. Good luck on your next chapter. Click.

Claire Goforth claire@folioweekly.com

LITTLE TRIBUTES TO

LITTLEPAGE MANY PEOPLE DREAM about some day landing a Ron Littlepage job, a job where you go kayaking each week, then write about the reverie enjoyed in the kayak!

Seriously, Ron has helped change Jax for the good, and, more important, he has helped stop some changes for the bad. Thanks, Ron. — Andy Johnson, former member, Florida House of Representatives I THINK OF RON’S GREAT SKILL as a writer as his balance. He is an environmentalist who comes to it from actual time spent outdoors, hunting and fishing. He’s an observer of city government with one foot in the good ol’ boy world. And though his voice has never been extreme, I remember when his column was moved from the front page of the Metro section to the editorial page–too “liberal” for the paper’s conservative leadership. If I had to pick one favorite attribute of his writing, it’s his long memory.

Ron is unforgiving when it comes to dredging up an old promise or prospectus— reminding us what was promised, and what (little) was delivered. His column has long been the conscience of the city, and I will miss it.

— Anne Schindler, executive producer of special projects, First Coast News 14 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 3-9, 2018

FOR THE LAST 28 YEARS, RON Littlepage has been the conscience of Jacksonville.

— Farrar Martin, associate publisher, Folio Weekly JACKSONVILLE IS SIMPLY A better place because of Ron. He was an essential gadfly, a voice of reason, and often the very conscience of our community.

Ron exposed our underbelly and our flaws, while exalting the qualities, people and places that make Northeast Florida special.

— Jimmy Orth, executive director, St. Johns Riverkeeper RON’S VOICE WAS A BEACON for progressives in this city, lost in a sea of conservatism. His courageousness to speak out so publicly about politics and culture inspire me to continually write about subject matters that are close to my heart and need a voice in this community.

— Keith Marks, co-owner, Tehila’s Pilates RON LITTLEPAGE IS A TRUTHteller, a Southern voice for environmental justice in the tradition of Atticus Finch. As someone who challenges the status quo, I appreciated the “attagirl” mentions in his column. He was a must-read, and the voice of our conscious on how we treat our greatest resource, the St. Johns River.

Ron Littlepage for MAYOR! — Lisa King, chair, Duval County Democratic Party

I ALWAYS MADE A POINT TO read Ron’s columns. Every city needs a fearless op-ed columnist who holds the powerful accountable. Ron succeeded admirably at that.

— Melissa Ross, host/producer, First Coast Connect, The Florida Roundup LITTLEPAGE WAS FEARLESS. He wrote about Jacksonville’s plantation owners, snakeoil salesmen, religious hypocrites, and so-called power-brokers with an unflinching eye. Ironically, the team that unleashed the Rick Scott and Donald Trump horrors on the world oozed up from his readership. They, like all of city’s narrow-minded masters, hated him, but feared him. Littlepage, and his script, scared the hell out of ’em. Sadly, we’re on our own, now.

— Neil A. Armingeon, former Matanzas Riverkeeper, former St. Johns Riverkeeper RON LITTLEPAGE HAS INSPIRED countless young journalists to follow their dreams. He’s also inspired many politicians to get blackout drunk and run screaming into the night; some of them were never seen again. His retirement is a sad day for the city, but probably cause for celebration among its leaders. Excelsior!

— Shelton Hull, columnist, Folio Weekly

FOLIO A + E B

ettye LaVette is a bona fide survivor. Though the Detroit native scored her first hit at age 16, she endured decades of heartache thereafter. Yes, she toured with Ben E. King, Otis Redding and James Brown, performed on Broadway with Cab Calloway, and cut records for esteemed labels Atlantic, Epic and Motown. But LaVette suffered her share of indignities, too. Her heralded debut full-length, Child of the Seventies, was shelved by Atco Records mere days before its 1972 release. Her 1982 Motown LP met the same fate when label president Lee Young Sr. was fired. In 1978, LaVette signed away the rights to her 1978 disco single, “Doin’ the Best that I Can,” only to see it sell 100,000 copies the next month.

Things finally improved for LaVette after the turn of the century, when soul fanatics and longtime fans helped resurrect her career. She won a W.C. Handy Award in 2004 for Comeback Blues Artist of the Year; for Anti-Records, she recorded four heralded albums, earning two Grammy nods and headlining at Barack Obama’s inaugural concert and Kennedy Center Honors for The Who in 2008. Now, the 71-year-old LaVette has a new three-album deal with Verve Records, an ass-kicking memoir, and the success she deserves. Her Ponte Vedra Concert Hall show, with local musician Billy Buchanan, is Thursday. We spoke to her recently and she happily riffed on all three subjects.

Folio Weekly: The first leg of your 2018 tour is billed as the Bettye LaVette Duo. How does performing in such an intimate manner benefit you?

Bettye LaVette: I’m trying to turn my book, A Woman Like Me, into a onewoman show. I’ll get to perform songs I don’t get a chance to do with my band a lot—maybe because they’re songs I used to do for $50 a night, maybe because they’re songs I recorded a long while ago.

I try to cover the whole 57 years when I’m on stage. But I’ve always said that a voice is all you need to sell a song. My manager, Jim Lewis, taught me a long time ago to learn a song a cappella for myself first— that way, even though I can’t play an instrument, I can explain it to anyone.

In your book and in interviews, you speak openly about financial struggles, both past and present. Have things gotten better?

I am making more money than I ever have in my life, but it’s also costing me so much money to tour. If I didn’t have five people traveling with me, I’d be rich! [Laughs.]

But, yes, I can finally have the things I want. I’ve got to be the oldest living person with a new record contract for the biggest

record label in the world. For an old broad, I’m pretty happy right now.

You’re famous for covering others’ songs. How do you pour so much of yourself into works by other artists?

It starts with that one key word: cover. I don’t start out with that premise. I don’t cover songs; I’m a song interpreter, a song stylist. I don’t listen to the radio. I’m not a music enthusiast. But I’ve collected songs over the years. Sometimes it takes me years to record them. I’ve got maybe 100 more left I want to record. The main thing that draws me to a song is the melody, followed by the lyric. What amazes me is when people sound like other people.

That’s like copying somebody’s argument.

The new 2018 album is all Bob Dylan songs.

And you’re probably just as shocked as I still am! It was … a built-in part of my deal with Verve. After I found out how difficult it was going to be, it became interesting. I’m really excited for people to hear how unusual it is.

You’ve worked in many different musical genres. Do they intersect for you, or do they each still sound different?

They sound different to me, but not for me. My Motown album was different than anything Motown ever recorded. My sound hasn’t changed at all—it’s only blown up.

When I did a disco record, I sounded like I do now; when I did a country record, I sounded like I do now. With my first record, 1964’s My Man, all I wanted was to get on American Bandstand. I had everything going for me: I was cute, I was a teenager, my record was out on a big label and in the charts … But when I sang, it was too salacious for a 16-year-old. For a long time, the way I approached my songs was a hindrance. When everybody was trying to sound like a little girl, I knew I was in big trouble—I sounded too much like James Brown, even when I was a girl! I don’t conform to any sounds. I’ve just done my best to have people structure the prevailing sound around me.

Did you believe the music industry would catch up to you?

I had resigned myself to the fact that it was never going to happen. But again, [manager] Jim told me when I was 17, “I cannot guarantee you will be a star. But if you learn how to sing a wide variety of good songs and sing them well, you can do this until you die.” I believed that—I knew singing was all I was ever going to do. Never even entertained doing anything else. I just didn’t think I’d ever make money doing it.

Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly.com

FILM The Wanderers ARTS We Can't Help It, We're From Florida MUSIC Jacksonville Children's Chorus LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CALENDAR

PG. 16 PG. 17 PG. 18 PG. 19

Bettye LaVette soldiered through DECADES OF HITS and near-misses; we finally caught up with her

SOUND OF HER A

OWN

BETTYE LaVETTE with BILLY BUCHANAN

7 p.m. Jan. 4, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., $29-$36, 209-0399, pvconcerthall.com

JANUARY 3-9, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15

FOLIO A+E : MAGIC LANTERNS

YOUNG & WILD &

FREE

PERFORMANCE

O

16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 3-9, 2018

THE MARVELOUS WONDERETTES Four girls in 1958 Springfield, with hopes and dreams as big as their crinoline skirts, form a group. See what happens at a 10-year reunion. Runs through Feb. 4 at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $35-$62, 641-1212, alhambrajax.com.

A GENTLEMAN’S GUIDE TO LOVE & MURDER A tale of inheritance and scheming unfolds. Find out if “Monty” inherits anything more than a pair of locking silver bracelets in this awfully funny musical. Venue management advises “this play is not recommended for those with large fortunes and distant heirs, or for children under age 10.” 8 p.m.

Jan. 5 at Thrasher-Horne Center, 283 College Dr., Orange Park, 276-6815, $49 and up, thcenter.org.

CHALK Director Babs Colaciello revisits the Al Letson-penned play that tackles bullying in an encore performance, 3 p.m.

Jan. 7 at Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Cir., Southbank, 396-6674, free, themosh.org.

A TRIBUTE TO ANDY WILLIAMS Singer Chuck Gillespie, profoundly touched by the music of Andy Williams, strives to keep Williams’ memory and music alive in the song-based shows, 2 and 7 p.m. Jan. 6 at Limelight Theatre, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, 825-1164, $25, chucksings.com.

THE PILLOWMAN With cues from Grimm’s Fairy Tales, Kafka and Antonin Artaud, this tale of authoritarianism and parental hopes is written by Martin McDonagh. Both thriller and uncomfortable think piece it ruminates on the nature of creating and the cost of being an artist within the framework of a string of child murders. It received the 2004 Olivier Award for Best New Play, the 2004-’05 New York Drama Critic’s Circle Award for Best New Foreign Play, and two Tonys for production. It’s staged Jan. 12-20 at Amelia Community Theatre, Studio 209, 209 Cedar St., Fernandina, 261-6749, $10-$15, ameliacommunitytheatre.org.

Symphony, 8 p.m. Jan. 5 & 6 at Jacoby Symphony Hall, $21-$82, jaxsymphony.org.

CON BRIO STRING QUARTET Friday Musicale’s 128th season kicks off with this quartet of young, internationally sourced musicians. The seriously talented Con Brio performs 11 a.m. and 7:30 p.m. Jan. 5 at Friday Musicale, Riverside, free, fridaymusicale.com.

FLORIDA CHAMBER MUSIC PROJECT The group plays the works of Boccherini, Puccini, Nino Rota and Wolf, 3 p.m.

Jan. 7 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., $25, pvconcerthall.com.

MATTHEW HALL The pianist performs every Thur., Fri. & Sat. at Corner Bistro/Glass Hat Piano Bar & Grill, 9823 Tapestry Park Cir., Southside, 619-1931.

OVERSET

Philip Kaufman’s THE WANDERERS

ne of the most underrated films of the late ’70s by one of the most underrated American directors of the last few decades has finally made its way onto hi-def in a terrific Blu-ray package that should pique the interest of any movie lover.

Between 1972 and 2000, Philip Kaufman’s films included The Great Northfield Minnesota Raid, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, The Right Stuff, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Henry and June and Quills—an impressive body of work, in a variety of genres, equal to any contemporary filmmaker. He also wrote the story for Raiders of the Lost Ark and the screenplay for The Outlaw Josey Wales.

When The Wanderers debuted in 1979, though, it met mostly negative reviews, then it vanished.

In his intro to the film’s 2016 release, Kaufman (now 81 years old) discusses that dismissal. He recalls how he and his wife Rose (his close collaborator on most films) struggled for years to bring Richard Price’s novel to the big screen. At the time Wanderers opened, gang violence was on every front page, in part tinged by Walter Hill’s The Warriors out five months earlier. So Kaufman’s work was prime fodder for pundits of the day.

Kaufman quotes one reviewer’s condemnation: “[The Wanderers] was like a rape or a mugging, leaving the viewer stripped of dignity … [and when Joey and Perry head to California] I can only pray they stay there.

New York has enough pollution already.”

Ruefully noting that Huckleberry Finn had also been denounced as “trash and suitable only for the slums,” Kaufman summarizes his film’s death knell: “And so it was shunned, relegated to oblivion, and released in 17 drive-ins and two theaters. Fucked.”

I saw the movie here in the summer of ’79.

But you get Kaufman’s bitter disappointment.

The good news? The movie caught on abroad, hitting near-cult status there and in film circles here.

Now, first-time viewers will see a raunchy, funny, lyrical and astute coming-of-age tale of Bronx youth in the fall of ’63. Over the Orion Pictures logo, we hear the opening chords of a Three Stooges short before the movie proper begins, as a couple makes out in front of a TV showing a Three Stooges film. Near the end of Wanderers, the same couple is outside an appliance store with weeping onlookers watching news of JFK’s assassination on a display TV model, to the strains of Ben E. King’s “Stand by Me.” Those two scenes highlight the film’s emotional range and reliance on historical and musical themes. Throughout, a badass Bronx gang, the Baldies, hang out by a U.S. Marine recruiting office, their antics ever in the eye of the no-nonsense recruiter. After they unwittingly enlist one drunken night, he dismisses them with a gun and a warning:

ARTS + EVENTS

“Don’t worry, the Marines will make men of you. You mean mothers might enjoy a real war.”

Audiences in 1979 knew exactly what war he meant.

The story’s main focus is on Richie (Ken Wahl), charismatic leader of the Wanderers (an Italian-American group), and his efforts, such as they are, to find his place in this world.

In the beginning, that entails getting what he can from girlfriend Despie (Toni Kalem), and his homework done by the class geek, while leading the Wanderers to glory on the gridiron against the Del Bombers, an AfricanAmerican gang.

Richie’s best friend Joey (John Friedrich) is a big-hearted banty rooster. Their friendship is tested over Nina (Karen Allen), an outsider.

All the boys swear they’re girl-crazy, but their real loyalties and evanescent identities lie with pals. Outside the gang’s shelter are forces onerous (family) and dangerous (surreal Irish Ducky Boys).

The ferocious exuberance and comic antics of Wanderers are balanced by Kaufman’s delineation of tough choices intrinsic to maturation. Richie, with looks and charm, is trapped in his girlfriend’s family (ruled by her dad, a minor mob boss) while Joey and new buddy Perry (Tony Ganios) leave their oppressive families (and the Wanderers) and go West (like Huck Finn) for glorious California.

Blindsided by the film’s profanity and comedy, many early reviewers failed to see the wisdom and creative imagination that so richly fuels The Wanderers. Kaufman’s paean to youth and the times a-changing in the early ’60s has finally gotten the critical respect and rep it deserves.

Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com

NOW SHOWING MAYPORT BEACON THEATER The Lego Ninjago Movie stars the vocal skills of Dave Franco, Jackie Chan, Fred Armisen, Michael Peña and Justin Theroux, screening 6 p.m. Jan. 5. Blade Runner 2049 runs 8 p.m. Jan. 6 at 245 Baltimore St., MWR Naval Station Mayport, free admission, 270-5145, navymwrmayport.com.

SUN-RAY CINEMA Star Wars: The Last Jedi and Downsizing screen. Lady Bird starts Jan. 4. The Square and Brimstone & Glory start Jan. 5. The Post and I, Tonya start Jan. 12. 1028 Park St., 359-0049, sunraycinema.com.

CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ The Square and The Killing of a Sacred Deer screen. Throwback Thursday runs Days of Heaven, noon Jan. 4 and 4 p.m. Jan. 7. Loving Vincent, Lucky and Bombshell: The Hedy Lamarr Story start Jan. 5. 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 697-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com.

IMAX THEATER Star Wars: The Last Jedi and Amazon Adventure screen. St. Augustine, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com.

HYPERION BREWING CO. A movie or playoffs are on the big screen every Sun., 1740 N. Main St., Springfield, 518-5131.

CLASSICAL + JAZZ

JUNCO ROYALS Old-timey New Orleans-style jazz, 8 p.m.

Jan. 4 at Blue Jay Listening Room, 2457B S. Third St., Jax Beach, $15, 904tix.com.

THE INEXTINGUISHABLE SYMPHONY IN 60 A concert preceded by snacks and drinks (included in ticket price), 5:30 p.m. Jan. 4 at T-U Center’s Jacoby Symphony Hall, $35, jaxsymphony.org.

TCHAIKOVSKY’S PIANO CONCERTO A dramatic program starts with Robert Schumann’s moving Manfred Overture followed by Chinese pianist Zhang Zuo playing the piano concertos, ending with Carl Nielsen’s spirited Fourth

SPACE FOR 2

COMEDY

LOS BORRACHITOS EN EL DESQUITE For the first time in Jax, stars of Puerto Rico’s top-rated TV show, Rene Monclova, Jorge Castro and Alfonsina Molinari keep audiences in stitches. 7 p.m. Jan. 7 at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-4277, $35-$65, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

OPEN MIC NIGHT The first open mic night of 2018, 8 p.m. Jan. 4 at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, $12-$40, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

MIKE ARMSTRONG Armstrong has been called “everyone’s favorite cop.” Hope that means he lets folks out of stupid tickets and strives (strove) to truly protect and serve. He performs 7:30 p.m. Jan. 4, 5 & 6, and again 9:45 p.m. Jan. 6 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, 292-4242, $15-$99.50, comedyzone.com.

FRED’S ALL STAR COMEDIANS Comics from NEFLa! Laughs with a local slant at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 646-4277, $10, comedyzone.com.

LAUGH LOUNGE A weekly showcase of funny NEFla folks—or so says Creative Veins. 8 p.m. Jan. 7 at Dos Gatos, 123 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, creativeveins.com.

CALLS & WORKSHOPS

ALONZO KING LINES BALLET DISCOVERY PROJECT A four-day intensive workshop open to dancers of all ages, Jan. 4-7 at FSCJ danceWORKS, 11901 Beach Blvd., Southside, $250, summer.linesballet.org.

INTRO TO ACTING The class for adults meets every week for four weeks starting 7 p.m. Jan. 4 at Creative Veins, 877 Stockton St., Riverside, $125, creativeveins.com. Standup comedy and kids’ acting classes available.

AUDITION: Man of La Mancha Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre auditions for the play-within-a-play 11 a.m.

SHEIDA SOLEIMANI’s Oppress(er)(ed) show opens in conjunction with Paul Owner Weiner’s Ol’ Glory, Ol’ Apologies, 6 p.m. Jan. 3, The Space Gallery, Downtown, longroadprojects.com.

FOLIO A+E : ARTS

W

e Can’t Help It If We’re from Florida: New Stories from a Sinking Peninsula is a collection of poems, essays and fiction by Florida writers. In different forms, with different names and taking different routes, many of the writers produce a similar result—darkness.

The book was named after a compilation album made by five punk bands in back in 1983. Both the book and the album take a dim view of Florida. The punks were raging against the dying of the Florida sunshine.

More than 30 years later, the book’s authors resemble forensic pathologists, examining the corpse of Florida.

Publisher Ryan Rivas believes the book can add to the legacy of Florida literature by “lifting the veil on what often gets covered by stereotypes and theme parks.” Author/editor Shane Hinton explained, “Florida is the butt of countless jokes in pop culture, and the title signals that the writers are in on the joke.”

But there is little humor to be found. The “uplifting” topics include murder, child abuse and a grandmother who commits suicide.

Fortunately, some of the writing is exquisite. The story Kiwano, written by Laura van den Berg, includes flashbacks, hallucinations and just plain weirdness. The awkwardness in the tale gives the story credibility— as the details seem too strange and specifically human to be fictional.

The story revolves around siblings and sleeping. The narrator, who suffers from insomnia, explains, “At night, I find a window and keep watch, blood burning; the trees have mouths and are trying to tell me things […]

My husband tells me I have done things that are ‘deeply disturbing’—though I myself am in no position to judge the accuracy of this statement, seeing as I have not slept normally in 75 days.”

When not haunted by the specter of insomnia, the reader does well to recall that this is Florida, so hurricanes, handguns, hucksters and a number of sinkholes are certainly present.

Asha Dore’s The Lampshade is a particularly painful essay about her father’s demise; she manages to convey the fatalism, and the foolhardy hope, of Floridians:

She also reflects on the bittersweet reality of dodging a disaster: The year Dad died, a hurricane was supposed to hit, but then it didn’t … The hurricane … turned just enough to pass my hometown, to flatten some other house, some other family.

This essay isn’t just about the scenery and dangers of Florida. It is deeply personal and profoundly painful.

Michael J. Seidlinger’s narrator in Displacement dislikes the generic sameness of suburban Florida. “Everything’s green, planned out, cul de sac, roundabout, floral

street names, the road itself … [W]herever this road takes me, it’ll all be the same.”

Here, the idea of staying in Florida is rejected, “That road goes in circles. It goes nowhere. I can’t get used to this. There’s no future here. I have so much to say. I’m young and anxious and worried and nobody. I’m nobody and I really just want a one-on-one with the world.”

Lyricist Neil Peart once diagnosed this affliction, “Any escape might help to smooth the unattractive truth, but the suburbs have not charms to soothe the restless dreams of youth.”

There are a number of damaged men in the book. Some die, while others kill.

In John Henry Fleming’s story Rightness, the narrator provides background, “I’m the kind of person who knows for sure he really has no hope … and can’t admit it.” In a roadrage incident, he describes the person he confronts:

YOU WANT IT

DARKER:

(W)aiting for the hot Gulf water to carry the storms across their Houses and bodies, waiting for the rain to flood them out or the wind to knock off their roofs … They waited, knowing that tornadoes could drop down through their kitchen ceiling, knowing sinkholes could open underneath their bedrooms, … They stayed knowing that a storm was coming.

The Newest Chapter in FLORIDA LITERATURE

[T]he guy was a lot like me.

He gave up long ago trying to pretend.

The fender bender was a gift. For once, he was totally sure he was right about something, and he was going to have the pleasure of expressing his rightness to whatever extent he saw fit because when hope dries up, you take rightness over nothing.

Jacksonville-based Sohrab Homi Fracis’ All Right, Now, Cupid, includes a fired bank employee on a mission of vengeance.

One character turns selfdestructive, “I wanted the earth to crack. I wanted the mouth of hell to open wide and swallow me up” in Jeff Parker’s Major Disassociation on Crescent Lake. The anger and passion is reminiscent of Chuck Palahniuk, “I wanted to breathe smoke.”

A reader can get lost in this book. The action, characters and drama are compelling. Some of the better writing includes characters only loosely in touch with their sanity.

Unfortunately, some of the writing is indulgent; the fatalism in many stories is so common it’s almost predictable.

Despite its flaws, the book it worth reading, not just for the jarring prose but for the recognition Florida-based readers will feel. Those further afield might not perceive the locale, but the deep sentiments of darkness and rage may have a familiar echo.

Scott Gaillard mail@folioweekly.com

___________________________

Author Sohrab Homi Fracis signs copies of the book Jan. 20 at San Marco Bookstore; Feb. 17 at Chamblin’s Uptown. The book is available locally at Chamblin’s and The BookMark, Neptune Beach.

JANUARY 3-9, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17

: MUSIC OVERSET FOLIO A+E

ARTS + EVENTS N Jan. 6 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., abettheatre.com.

AUDITION The Jacksonville Symphony Chorus hosts spring auditions by appointment only on Jan. 6, at the T-U Center for Performing Arts. Email jweisblatt@jaxsymphony.org.

AUDITION: Company The 5 & Dime, a Theatre Company, auditions for this musical dissection of love and relationships. Music and lyrics by Stephen Sondheim, book by George Furth, 11 a.m. Jan 13 at 112 E. Adams St., Downtown, the5anddime.org.

AUDITION Phase Eight Theater Company auditions for its 2018-’19 season, 5:30 p.m. Jan. 9 at WJCT, 100 Festival Park Ave., Downtown, phaseeight.org.

MONUMENTAL at The Art Center Art submissions, all mediums, no larger than 3 feet by 5 feet, horizontal or vertical, are received through Jan. 9, notification of unaccepted work Jan. 10; pickup Jan. 10 & 11; opening reception Jan. 11, at 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, tac.org.

COMMUNITY FOUNDATION FOR NORTHEAST FLORIDA Grant opportunities are available for those serving young children, for individual professional artists to elevate their work and organizations serving at-risk and underserved populations at or near the Jacksonville-area Beaches, applications due Jan. 10-March 5, depending on grant, jaxcf.org.

JURIED ARTIST MEMBERS EXHIBITION 2018 The Cultural Center at Ponte Vedra Beach accepts entries for JAME Jan. 22; works judged and notifications made Jan. 23. 50 Executive Way, 280-0614, ccpvb.org.

JACKSONVILLE MINI-MAKER FAIRE Groups or individuals may present projects, hobbies, experiments for the MOSH-sponsored event. Deadline Feb. 28, jacksonvillemakerfaire.com.

ART WALKS + MARKETS

JAX BEACH ART WALK This fun, (often) beach-art-themed event, featuring 40-90 artists, is 5 p.m. Jan. 9, along First Street, Downtown Jax Beach, betterjaxbeach.com.

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Live music plus food, artists and a farmer’s row, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Jan. 6 under the Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com.

ST. AUGUSTINE AMPHITHEATRE FARMERS MARKET Veggies, flowers, baked goods, handmade arts & crafts, a community booth, live music by the Free Rangers and more, 8:30 a.m.12:30 p.m. Jan. 6, 1340C A1A S., staugamphitheatre.com.

Admission, parking free.

FERNANDINA BEACH FARMERS MARKET Every Sat., 9 a.m.1 p.m., year round, rain or shine. North Seventh Street, Fernandina, fernandinamarketplace.com.

FIRST FRIDAY ART WALK is a self-guided tour of exhibits, live music and refreshments offered by 27 members of the local art galleries, 5-9 p.m. every first Fri., in St. Augustine and St. Augustine Beach, 377-0198, artgalleriesofstaugustine.org.

MUSEUMS

CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 29 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummermuseum.org. A Collector’s Eye: Celebrating Joseph Jeffers Dodge and Mediterranea: American Art from the Graham D. Williford Collection, through Feb. 4. Bijoux Parisiens: French Jewelry from the Petit Palais, through Jan. 7.

MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911, mocajacksonville.unf.edu. Juan Fontanive Lopez’s Movement 4 is the atrium project. Call & Response, through April 1; Unverified by collaborative artists Kahn & Selesnick, Robert and Shana ParkeHarrison, Lori Nix, Jojakim Cortis, Adrian Sonderegger, Jennifer B. Thoreson and Thomas Jackson runs through March 25. An opening reception is 6 p.m. Jan. 11.

MANDARIN MUSEUM & HISTORICAL SOCIETY 11964 Mandarin Rd., mandarinmuseum.net. Civil War era artifacts recovered from the Union steamship Maple Leaf, items related to Harriet Beecher Stowe, a World War I exhibit, and displays related to the only remaining one-room schoolhouse in Duval County.

MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY 1025 Museum Cir., Southbank, 396-MOSH, themosh.org. Ancient Rome: Epic Innovators & Engineers! shows artifacts and ancient technology through Jan. 28; NANO, a hands-on exhibit that presents the basics of nanoscience and engineering, on display through June 17.

THE RITZ THEATRE & MUSEUM 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 807-2010. Making Do: The African & Gullah GeeChee Connection exhibits through Jan. 12.

GALLERIES

THE ART CENTER Jacksonville Landing, tacjacksonville.org.

Art at Anthem Lakes, a selection of TAC artists’ works on display through Feb. 27, at 905 Assisi Lane, Atlantic Beach.

THE CULTURAL CENTER AT PONTE VEDRA BEACH 50 Executive Way, 280-0614, ccpvb.org. Memories in the Making, works by artists with dementia, on display through Jan. 17. A pop-up artisans market runs through Jan. 12, with works by (among others) Amy Dove, Susan Daly, Francesca Tabor-Miolla, Tim Bullard, Bill & Jon Slade, Johan Mejia, Karen Bullard, Claire Kendrick, Cristina Zandomenego and (one of our favorite local ceramicists) Kyiaki Karalos.

18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 3-9, 2018

HASKELL GALLEY Jacksonville International Airport. Cafcules, Middleton & Walburn shows through January.

ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., 824-2310, staaa.org. Faces and Figures, interpretations of the human form.

SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 1 Independent Dr., Wells Fargo Bldg., Downtown. January’s guest artist is Allison Watson.

SPACE 42 2670 Phyllis St., Riverside, 888-421-9222, spacefortytwo.com. Dream/Sueño/Rêve, installation by John Carr and Estée Ochoa, through January; UNF Student Ceramics Show displays through January.

THE SPACE GALLERY 120 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, longroadprojects.com. Sheida Soleimani’s Oppress(er)(ed) opens in conjunction with Paul Owner Weiner’s Ol’ Glory, Ol’ Apologies 6 p.m. Jan. 3.

THE VAULT at 1930 1930 San Marco Blvd., 398-2890, thevaultat1930.com. Art from Around the World, Susan Astleford’s new works, is on display.

WOLF & CUB 205 N. Laura St., Downtown, wolfandcubjax.com.

For the Love of Munny, an exhibit of vinyl toys named “Munny,” is on display. Each collectable toy is designed, painted, destructed and created by Jax-based artists; through January.

EVENTS

JOY DENNIS Dennis performs songs from her new album The Listening Party, 5 p.m. Jan. 3 at Live Bar, 331 E. Bay St., Downtown, joydennismusic.com.

WOMEN ARTISTS OF THE 19th CENTURY Cummer Museum Director of Education Lynn Norris discusses Rosa Bonheur, Berthe Morisot, Mary Cassatt and Cecilia Beaux, in this examination of important female artists of the centurybefore-last. 6 p.m. Jan. 4 at Beaches Museum & History Park, 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, free, cummermuseum.org.

JAZZ POETRY CAFÉ Poetry by Demo Dennard, Mitessa Hill, Shae Allen, Christian Williams, Cousin Supp and Chocolate Fe Da Poet, 7 p.m. Jan. 5 at 956 N. Liberty St., Springfield, 853-1262, $10-$25, eventbrite.com.

THE ACT OF FILICIDE The Act of Filicide: The Amari Barnhill Story examines the impact and repercussions of Barnhill’s death, through his mother, Nakesa Barnhill-Barreras’ words.

The author reads from the book and sign copies, 6 p.m. Jan. 4 at The Eagles Nest Banquet Hall, 8040 Lone Star Rd., Arlington.

EXPLORE ISLAM The Islamic Center of North East Florida invites community members from all walks of life into its new facility for an informational night of fellowship, 6-8 p.m.

Jan. 6, free (register on eventbrite.com), Islamic Center of North East Florida, Southside.

HEALTHY START 5K Get into the groove and support the American Diabetes Association and Kappa Psi Alpha Psi Foundation of Jacksonville; there’s also a 1-mile fun run, 8 a.m.

Jan. 6 at Jacksonville Landing, 1stplacesports.com, $12-$25.

PAST LIFE REGRESSION WORKSHOP Visualize the past that might’ve been yours (some of us like to imagine we were mystical bee and bunny keepers—designing our hives and hutches in Earthly manifestations of the patterns of the stars which mirror our obscure gods’ whims) 1 p.m. Jan. 6 at Caring Palms Massage & Reiki, 301 10th Ave N., Jax Beach, $26, caringpalms.com.

HYPERION & CHILL A playoff potluck with a big-screen TV and delicious beer, in Helios Beer Garden, noon-10 p.m. Jan. 6 at Hyperion Brewing Co., 1740 N. Main St., Springfield; to bring something, go to signupgenius.com.

POETRY OPEN MIC Irie Couture Cakery hosts this event where poets are encouraged to bring their words and read aloud, 7 p.m.

Jan. 7 at 213 W. King St., St. Augustine, $5, eventbrite.com.

JACKSONVILLE ANIME DAY An anime and manga convention with a dealers room, a video/event room, prize giveaways, contests and a dance, 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Jan. 7 at Embassy Suites, 9300 Baymeadows Rd., Southside, $5, animeday.net.

EVERY SINGLE ARTIST LOUNGE Artists and makers take time to emerge from self-imposed studio exile to exchange thoughts and ideas with other creatives, 5:30 p.m. Jan. 9 at The Space Gallery, 120 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, thespacegalleryjax.com.

BIG PICTURE: CREATIVE DISCOURSE THROUGH FILM & LITERATURE The Cultural Council-sponsored book club meets to discuss the book, The Famished Road, by Ben Okri, 6 p.m.

Jan. 9 in the Makerspace, Main Library, 303 N. Laura St., Downtown, culturalcouncilofgreaterjacksonville.org.

MIGRATION WEEK Jorge Brunet-Garcia discusses immigration, 5:30 p.m. Jan. 10 at Makerspace, Main Library, Downtown, jaxpubliclibrary.org/jax-makerspace, free.

ZOOLIGHTS The Jacksonville Zoo is decked out for the holiday season with millions of twinkling lights! 6-9:30 p.m. through Jan. 6, $8-$15, jacksonvillezoo.org.

NIGHTS OF LIGHTS Millions of twinkling lights cover St. Augustine nightly through January. See Old Town by trolley, on foot or in a horse and carriage. floridahistoriccoast.com. _________________________________________ To list an event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price, contact number to print to Madeleine Peck Wagner; email madeleine@folioweekly. com or mail 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Items run as space is available. Deadline noon Wed. for next Wed. printing.

For the event itself, the chorus performed ovelist Nicola Griffith described a 20-minute selection of works that included choral music as silvery, soaring and Italian, Latin and American composers, with glasslike, sharp and whispery. She two arrangements of Ave Maria. writes that it had bodily effects on her titular The group also performs on Jan. 4 in the character, Hild, in the book of the same Basilica of Sant’Ignazio de Loyola in Campo name that imagines the early life of St. Hilda Marzio and, in between, said Dailey with a of Whitby. It’s an apt summation of the way smile in his voice, they’ll do “typical tourist choral music can enfold the listener in sound. things” like visit the catacombs, the Colosseum, It’s also a description that defines the and ice-skate at Castel Sant’Angelo. marriage of the human voice to the soaring It’s important to note that though the architecture of Gothic churches … a phrase Touring Choir is made up that touches on the of young people, “the kids absolute ineffability of are cute, but this really isn’t music where it edges a children’s choir … this close to faith and perhaps is a professional children’s even transformation. choir of the highest order,” Darren Dailey is the emphasized Dailey. president and artistic The group—which owes director of one of its success in large part to Northeast Florida’s most Dailey’s commitment and successful nonprofit charisma during a 12-year arts organizations, the career there—serves more Jacksonville Children’s than 1,000 children a year, Chorus. And this year, and any interested child 24 of his singers—the is welcome to audition.

Jacksonville Children’s Before his move here, he Chorus’ Touring Choir— Jacksonville was director of the Boston sang on New Year’s Day, Children’s Chorus’ Children’s Chorus. “I’ve before His Holiness, Pope been very lucky,” said Francis I for Holy Mass, Touring Choir sings Dailey, when asked about the Holy Day, Solemnity for POPE FRANCIS the level of professionalism of Mary, Mother of God and commitment required in St. Peter’s Basilica in of participants in the the Vatican. Yes, choir, “I think here in that Vatican.

Jacksonville, there’s been extraordinary The chorus left on Dec. 27 to be in the third growth [because of] interest in the arts.” The annual Youth & Young Adults Choir Festival JCC offers intensive training and scholarships, in Rome. The group was invited by Dr. Hansbrings in guest artists and strives to ensure Albert Courtial, founder and general president that any gifted child can participate. of Fondazione Pro Musica e Arte Sacra.

But Dailey is very clear about what he It’s a Very Big Deal—“One of the highest believes is the core of the group’s success. honors in the choral world,” explained Dailey, “Diversity [racial, ethnic, geographic, sociowho’s spent the lion’s share of his career in economic] is really at the heart of what we do choral music. He says his work as a choral director is a “calling” (a passion he and his and we try to make this experience as broadwife, Susanne—also a professional musician— reaching as we can, while maintaining high share) and says this is not the first group artistic standards. We want kids to know what he’s taken to Rome. “I’ve taken the Chorus is possible with their voices.” before to sing at the Vatican, but it wasn’t a This trip is not the group’s first trip abroad.

Papal Mass. And, about 25 years ago, I took In just 2017 alone, the chorus has traveled my church choir [I was working at a Catholic to Croatia, Slovenia, Malta and Greece. “We church at the time], to sing at a Papal Mass.” believe we are on the path of being one of the He explained that over the years, he’s gotten to continent’s best youth choirs […] this is where know a few people in the international choral magic is happening.”

As the chorus is a nonprofit entity dedicated community, and because of his background to inclusion for all children, regardless of in church music and the fact that they want to financial or social situations, JCC is grateful incorporate more children into the liturgies— to accept monetary donations. To donate and particularly American choirs, a friend learn more about local superstars in our own who is conducting on Epiphany (in Rome) backyard, go to jaxchildrenschorus.org. recommended Dailey as a guest conductor.

The invitation to visit the Holy City Madeleine Peck Wagner arrived last June 15 but, Dailey explained, the madeleine@folioweekly.com ______________________________________ tentative invitation—discussions about the trip—had started about a year earlier, “but the Jacksonville Children’s Chorus performs 5 p.m., Vatican takes a while,” he said with a laugh, Sat., Jan. 27 at the 15th Annual First Coast acknowledging the huge bureaucracy that is Honors Choir, Mandarin Presbyterian Church, the Papal State. jacksonvillechildrenschorus.org.

A SACRED,

JOYFUL

NOISE

JOY DENNIS performs cuts from her new album The Listening Party and we think she sounds a little bit like Mary J. Blige, circa ’94. Plus her lyrics are super-funny and honest, too. 5 p.m. Jan. 3, Live Bar, Downtown, joydennismusic.com.

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK

BETTYE LaVETTE 7 p.m. Jan. 4, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., pvconcerthall.com, $29-$36.

SOME KIND of NIGHTMARE 7 p.m. Jan. 4, ShantyTown Pub, 22 W. Sixth St., Springfield.

GINGER BEARD MAN 8 p.m. Jan. 4, Cheers Park Avenue, 1138 Park Ave., Orange Park, 269-4855.

AFTERFUNK, BIG LOGIC & the TRUTH SERUM, The PINE BOX DWELLERS 8 p.m. Jan. 5, 1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St., Downtown, 1904musichall.com, $8-$10.

PETER BRADLEY ADAMS 8:30 p.m. Jan. 5, Café Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311, originalcafe11.com, $16-$20.

WILD PONIES 8 p.m. Jan. 6, Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, jaxlive.com, $8.

LARRY MANGUM 7 p.m. Jan. 6, Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., St. Nicholas, 352-7008, raylewispresents.com.

New Year’s Throwdown: EVERGREEN TERRACE, BOYS NO GOOD, JUST LIKE GENTLEMEN, CLOUD 9 VIBES, MIZZY RAW, PERSONALITIES, YOUNG GHOSTS, HUNGOVER, INTERVENTION, PHANTOMS, PUZZLES to PIECES, SUCK BRICK KID, BOYSIN, THATGUYTRESHUN, SPEECH PATTERNS, FAIR FIGHT, DROWNING ABOVE WATER, HIPPY BLAINE, SHE BLEEDS MERLOT, METAMAN 11 a.m. Jan. 6, Mavericks Live, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 356-1110, $15.

RIP JUNIOR, CUTTING TEETH, PSYCHO HILL, ADULT LIFE, R-DENT 6:30 p.m. Jan. 7, 1904 Music Hall, $10.

JACKSON BROWNE, GREG LEISZ 7:30 p.m. Jan. 7, The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, floridatheatre.com, $55-$90.

POPA CHUBBY 8 p.m. Jan. 8, Café Eleven, $17-$22.

NFFN ARTIST SHOWCASE 7 p.m. Jan. 10, Mudville Music Room.

STEVE POLTZ 8:30 p.m. Jan. 10, Café Eleven, $20-$25.

JACK WILLIAMS 7 p.m. Jan. 11, Mudville Music Room.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

The ZOMBIES: Odessey and Oracle 50th Anniversary Jan. 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE ORCHESTRA (ex-ELO members), JACKSONVILLE SYMPHONY ROCK ORCHESTRA Jan. 12, Florida Theatre CORRUPTED SAINT, BLOOD BATH & BEYOND Jan. 12, Jack Rabbits ZACH DEPUTY, COME BACK ALICE Jan. 12, 1904 Music Hall SOCIAL REPOSE, SEPTEMBER MOURNING, NIGHT ARGENT Jan. 12, Jack Rabbits FRED EAGLESMITH Jan. 12, Café Eleven THE CHROME FANGS Jan. 13, Jack Rabbits A TEMPTATIONS REVUE, BO HENDERSON Jan. 13, Ritz Theatre FLAW Jan. 13, 1904 Music Hall TAKEHEART Jan. 13, Nighthawks AYO & TEO Jan. 14, Florida Theatre ANDY FRESCO & the U.N. Jan. 14, 1904 Music Hall Bliss & the Boys: GAIL BLISS, PAUL KRAMER, RUSS WEAVER, BRIAN TAYLOR, DAVE WEBB, RORY HOFFMAN, KENNY DUNCAN Jan. 15, Comedy Club of Jax IAN FITZGERALD Jan. 15, Jack Rabbits BOBBY AMARU Jan. 16, 1904 Music Hall JONNY LANG Jan. 16, Florida Theatre LEE SCRATCH PERRY Jan. 17, Jack Rabbits

FINN MAGILL, ALAN MURRAY, OLD DAWGS NEW TRIXX Jan. 17, Mudville Music Room LARRY MANGUM, DAVID MALLETT Jan. 18, Mudville Music Room AFROMAN Jan. 18, Jack Rabbits DECADES REWIND Jan. 18, Thrasher-Horne Center DEAHPHISH ORCHESTRA Jan. 18, 1904 Music Hall KALEIDO Jan. 19, Jack Rabbits JOEY HARKUM Jan. 19, Café Eleven MARY BRAGG Jan. 19, Mudville Music Room JASON FARNAM Jan. 17, Thrasher-Horne Center JAKE OWEN Jan. 19, Florida Theatre CHICK COREA Jan. 19, Venue TBA, Fernandina Beach FADE to BLACK Metallica Tribute Jan. 19, 1904 Music Hall The TRAVELIN’ McCOURYS Jan. 20, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall IN THIS MOMENT, P.O.D., DED Jan. 20, Florida Theatre STEWART TUSSING BAND Jan. 20, Mudville Music Room BIG SOMETHING, BOBBY LEE RODGERS Jan. 20, Jack Rabbits MUSICAL THRONE Jan. 24, Florida Theatre THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS Jan. 24, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall JACOB JOHNSON Jan. 25, Mudville Music Room MARTY STUART & his FABULOUS SUPERLATIVES Jan. 25, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall DOROTHY Jan. 25, Jack Rabbits FELLY, GYYPS, TRIP CARTER Jan. 25, 1904 Music Hall MASON JENNINGS Jan. 26, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall The STOMPDOWN Jan. 27, Florida Theatre BLACK VIOLIN Jan. 27, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CES CRU, The PALMER SQUARE, GPO Jan. 27, Jack Rabbits YONDER MOUNTAIN STRING BAND, OLD SALT UNION Jan. 28, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall KENNY YARBROUGH, SOUTHERN TIDE Jan. 28, Limelight Theatre WORLD INFERNO FRIENDSHIP SOCIETY, COMMUNITY CENTER, TAIL LIGHT REBELLION, MUDTOWN Jan. 28, Nighthawks ROTTEN MANGOS, FERNWAY, BILLY & BELLA Jan. 28, 1904 Music Hall Take Me to the River: WILLIAM BELL, BOBBY RUSH, DON BRYANT Jan. 30, Florida Theatre CIRQUE ZUMA ZUMA Jan. 30, Ritz Theatre & LaVilla Museum GAELIC STORM Jan. 30, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall VELON THOMPSON Jan. 30, Mudville Music Room HAUNTED SUMMER, GOV CLUB Jan. 30, Jack Rabbits G3 2018: JOE SATRIANI, PHIL COLLEN, JOHN PETRUCCI Jan. 31, Florida Theatre ZOLOPHT, FOURBARREL BAND, JOHN PARKER URBAN TRIO Jan. 31, Jack Rabbits TANYA TUCKER Feb. 1, Florida Theatre HARRIS BROTHERS Feb. 1, Mudville Music Room JOHN 5 & the CREATURES, JACKIE STRANGER Feb. 2, 1904 Music Hall Anthems Tour: ADAM ANT Feb. 2, Florida Theatre MARY WILSON (The Supremes) Feb. 3, Ritz Theatre SPAFFORD Feb. 3, Jack Rabbits JOE MULLINS & the RADIO RAMBLERS Feb. 3, Mudville Music Room The VERVE PIPE Feb. 4, Café Eleven FEEDING FINGERS Feb. 4, Nighthawks JAKE SHIMABUKURO Feb. 6, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall DIANA KRALL Feb. 7, Florida Theatre

TESSA VIOLET, SECRET MIDNIGHT PRESS, GIVE ME MOTION Feb. 7, Jack Rabbits Front Porch Series: JOHN McCUTCHEON, GRANT PEEPLES Feb. 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CODY JINKS, WARD DAVIS, SUNNY SWEENEY Feb. 8, Florida Theatre L.A. GUNS, BUDDERSIDE Feb. 8, Jack Rabbits The KENNEDYS Feb. 8, Mudville Music Room TESLA Feb. 9, Florida Theatre JOHN MORELAND Feb. 9, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DECLAN McKENNA, CHAPPELL ROAN Feb. 9, 1904 Music Hall ELLAMENO BEAT, OF GOOD NATURE, N.W. IZZARD Feb. 9, Jack Rabbits G LOVE & SPECIAL SAUCE Feb. 10, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall LITTLE RIVER BAND, PABLO CRUISE Feb. 10, Florida Theatre The LANGSTON HUGHES PROJECT Feb. 10, Ritz Theatre UNDER the STREETLAMP Feb. 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall JOHN MORELAND, RUSTON KELLY Feb. 11, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JASON EADY Feb. 11, Mudville Music Room SETH GLIER Feb. 11, Café Eleven 30th Anniversary Tour: BLUES TRAVELER, LOS COLOGNES Feb. 11, Florida Theatre LESS THAN JAKE, FOUR YEAR STRONG, DIRECT HIT, BEARINGS Feb. 12, Mavericks Live ELIZABETH COOK Feb. 12, Jack Rabbits The HOT SARDINES Feb. 13, Florida Theatre PUDDLES PITY PARTY Feb. 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall QUEENS of the NIGHT Feb. 14, Nighthawks MISSISSIPPI JOHN HURT FOUNDATION BENEFIT Feb. 14, Mudville Music Room BOTTLE ROCKETS, CHUCK PROPHET & the MISSION EXPRESS Feb. 16, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall WOOD CHICKENS, CONCRETE CRIMINALS Feb. 16, Rain Dogs CHRIS YOUNG Feb. 16, St. Augustine Amphitheatre RUNNER’S HIGH Feb. 17, Nighthawks SIERRA HULL Feb. 17, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall DANIEL O’DONNELL Feb. 17, Florida Theatre 21 BLUE!, LONGINEU PARSONS, TED SHUMATE Feb. 17, Mudville Music Room WILLIE NELSON & FAMILY, LOS LONELY BOYS Feb. 18, St. Augustine Amphitheatre THE STOLEN/PATTERNIST Feb. 18, Jack Rabbits BARRY MANILOW Feb. 18, Times-Union Center GORDON LIGHTFOOT Feb. 18, Florida Theatre COLIN QUINN Feb. 18, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ROOTS of CREATION Feb. 19, Jack Rabbits GEORGE BENSON Feb. 19, Thrasher-Horne Center ERIC JOHNSON, TOMMY TAYLOR, LYLE BROCK, ARIELLE Feb. 20, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall HEATHER MALONEY Feb. 21, Café Eleven ROBERT CRAY & HIS BAND Feb. 21, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall RODRIGUEZ Feb. 21, Florida Theatre SOUTHERN CULTURE ON THE SKIDS Feb. 22, St. Augustine Amphitheatre’s Front Porch JAMEY JOHNSON Feb. 22, Florida Theatre DOYLE BRAMHALL II, BRANDY ZDAN Feb. 22, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall

JANUARY 3-9, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 19

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC MINDI ABAIR & the BONESHAKERS, AIR SUPPLY Feb. 23, Ritz Theatre JAMIE DeFRATES, MIKE SHACKELFORD, LARRY MANGUM Feb. 23, Mudville Music Room CHRIS BARRON Feb. 23, Café Eleven JUSTIN SYMBOL & THE GOD BOMBS Feb. 23, Jack Rabbits GEORGE WINSTON Feb. 23, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall The Blackwater Sol Revue: JJ GREY & MOFRO, LOS LOBOS, NORTH MISSISSIPPI ALLSTARS, MARCUS KING BAND, more Feb. 24, St. Augustine Amphitheatre The EXPENDABLES, THROUGH the ROOTS, PACIFIC DUB Feb. 24, St. Augustine Amphitheatre’s Backyard Stage LITTLE JAKE & the SOUL SEARCHERS Feb. 24, Mudville Music Room The WEEPIES Feb. 24, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall UNKNOWN HINSON, JD WILKES Feb. 24, Jack Rabbits An Evening with MAVIS STAPLES Feb. 25, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE MOUNTAINTOP Feb. 27, Ritz Theatre & LaVilla Museum MICHAEL McDONALD Feb. 27, Florida Theatre An Evening with JORMA KAUKONEN Feb. 27, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BLACKBERRY SMOKE March 1, Florida Theatre CAIN’T NEVER COULD, LARA HOPE & the ARKTONES March 1, Nighthawks NIGHT OF BEE GEES March 1, Thrasher-Horne Center RAGLAND March 1, Jack Rabbits DIXIE DREGS March 1, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall 50th Anniversary: TOWER of POWER March 2, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall The Magnetic Tour: PHILLIP PHILLIPS March 2, Florida Theatre FLEET FOXES March 2, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JOHN HAMMOND March 3, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall The GEORGIA FLOOD March 3, Jack Rabbits JUSTIN MOORE, DYLAN SCOTT March 3, St. Augustine Amphitheatre TIERNEY SUTTON BAND March 4, Ritz Theatre KNOCKED LOOSE, TERROR, JESUS PIECE, STONE March 4, 1904 Music Hall ANA POPOVIC March 7, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SONREAL March 8, Jack Rabbits 25th Annual Guitar Gathering: THE LOS ANGELES GUITAR QUARTET March 8, Florida Theatre; DASotA benefit Celtic Music & Heritage Festival: EMMET CAHILL, DUBLIN CITY RAMBLERS, SEVEN NATIONS, RATHKELTAIR, EMISH, ALBANNACH, ENTER the HAGGIS, STEEL CITY ROVERS, HOUSE of HAMILL March 9-11, Francis Field, St. Augustine Southern Uprising Tour: TRAVIS TRITT, The CHARLIE DANIELS BAND, The MARSHALL TUCKER BAND, The OUTLAWS March 9, St. Augustine Amphitheatre COAST MODERN March 9, Jack Rabbits An Evening You’ll Forget for the Rest of Your Life: STEVE MARTIN, MARTIN SHORT, The STEEP CANYON RANGERS, JEFF BABKO March 9, Times-Union Center BIANCA DEL RIO March 10, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall VELVET CARAVAN March 10, Ritz Theatre SIDELINE March 10, Mudville Music Room EARTH, WIND & FIRE March 10, Florida Theatre BRAD PAISLEY, CHASE BRYANT March 10, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ROBIN TROWER March 10, Mudville Music Room

RAISING CADENCE March 11, Jack Rabbits The TENDERLOINS March 11, St. Augustine Amphitheatre The IRISH ROVERS March 11, Florida Theatre The MARVIN GAYE EXPERIENCE March 11, Thrasher-Horne Center ROBIN TROWER March 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ANITA BAKER March 14, Times-Union Center JOE JENCKS March 16, Mudville Music Room DAVE EGGER ORCHESTRA March 16, St. Augustine Amphitheatre STEVE HOFSTETTER March 16, Jack Rabbits NAHKO “MY NAME IS BEAR TOUR”: The LATE ONES, XIUHTEZCATL March 16, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall GET the LED OUT March 16, Florida Theatre FOREIGNER March 16, St. Augustine Amphitheatre 1964 The TRIBUTE: The Best Beatles Band on Earth March 17, St. Augustine Amphitheatre WALKER BROTHERS, OLD DAWGS NEW TRIXX March 17, Mudville Music Room COREY SMITH, FORTUNATE YOUTH March 17, Jack Rabbits ALICE COOPER March 18, Florida Theatre A DAY to REMEMBER, PAPA ROACH, FALLING in REVERSE, The DEVIL WEARS PRADA March 20, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MIKE & the MECHANICS March 21, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall WALTER SALAS-HUMARA March 23, Mudville Music Room STEEP CANYON RANGERS March 22, Florida Theatre RODNEY CARRINGTON March 23, Florida Theatre MIKE SHACKELFORD March 23, Mudville Music Room THREE DOG NIGHT, The LORDS of 52nd STREET March 25, Florida Theatre WATAIN March 25, Mavericks Live FORTUNATE YOUTH, BALLYHOO, TATANKA March 28, Mavericks Live LOUDON WAINWRIGHT III, LUCY WAINWRIGHT ROCHE March 30, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall DANGERMUFFIN March 30, Mudville Music Room UDO DIRKSCHNEIDER March 30, Jack Rabbits LONELY HEARTSTRING BAND April 4, Café Eleven BUDDY GUY, JIMMIE VAUGHAN, QUINN SULLIVAN April 5, Florida Theatre TOMMY EMMANUEL, ANTHONY SNAPE April 6 & 7, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SETH WALKER April 7, Mudville Music Room THAT 1 GUY April 8, Jack Rabbits CHRIS BOTTI April 13, Florida Theatre ABBA the CONCERT April 17, Florida Theatre Colors of Love Tour: BRIAN CULBERTSON April 18, Florida Theatre BRUCE COCKBURN April 19, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SCOTT BRADLEE’S POSTMODERN JUKEBOX April 19, Florida Theatre Wanee 2018: WIDESPREAD PANIC, PHIL LESH & the TERRAPIN FAMILY BAND, As The CROW FLIES, DARK STAR ORCHESTRA, ST. PAUL & the BROKEN BONES, JAIMOE’S JASSZ BAND, The CHRIS ROBINSON BROTHERHOOD, NORTH MISSISSIPPI ALLSTARS, KARL DENSON’S TINY UNIVERSE, EAT a BUNCH of PEACHES, PIGEONS PLAYING PING PONG, WALTER TROUT, SONNY LANDRETH, The MARCUS KING BAND, GEORGE PORTER JR. & the RUNNING PARDNERS, SOUL REBELS, LES BROS, PINK TALKING FISH, BOBBY LEE ROGERS TRIO, BIG SOMETHING, NEW ORLEANS SUSPECTS, BERRY OAKLEY’S INDIGENOUS SUSPECTS, MIDNIGHT NORTH, The YETI TRIO, CRAZY FINGERS April 19, 20 & 21, Suwannee Music Park, Live Oak

THOMAS RHETT, BRETT YOUNG, CARLY PEARCE April 20, Daily’s Place DAVID FOSTER April 24, Florida Theatre 10,000 MANIACS April 25, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall The Voice of Romance Tour: JOHNNY MATHIS April 26, Florida Theatre Welcome to Rockville: OZZY OSBOURNE, FOO FIGHTERS, AVENGED SEVENFOLD, QUEENS of the STONE AGE, BILLY IDOL, FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH, GODSMACK, STONE SOUR, BLACK VEIL BRIDES, AVATAR, MORE April 27, 28 & 29, Metro Park BLACK JACKET SYMPHONY, JACKSONVILLE ROCK SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA: Sgt. Pepper’s 50th Anniversary Tour April 27, Florida Theatre 25th Anniversary Live at the Acropolis: YANNI April 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ALAN PARSONS PROJECT, CARL PALMER April 28, Florida Theatre LITTLE BIG TOWN, KACEY MUSGRAVES, MIDLAND May 4, St. Augustine Amphitheatre The Forbidden Tour: TODRICK HALL May 4, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall GYPSY STAR May 4, Mudville Music Room DOUGLAS ANDERSON GUITAR STUDENT BENEFIT May 5, Mudville Music Room JOE BONAMASSA May 10, St. Augustine Amphitheatre REBECCA LONG BAND May 11, Mudville Music Room STEVE FORBERT May 12, Mudville Music Room MARC COHN & HIS TRIO May 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BAHAMAS May 14, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ODESZA: 2018 A Moment Apart Tour May 16, Daily’s Place ROD MacDONALD June 15, Mudville Music Room Last Summer on Earth 2018 Tour: BARENAKED LADIES, BETTER THAN EZRA, KT TUNSTALL July 6, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DON McLEAN July 27, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall

LIVE MUSIC CLUBS AMELIA ISLAND + FERNANDINA

LA MANCHA, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646 Miguel Paley 5:30-9 p.m. every Fri.-Sun. Javier Parez every Sun. THE SALTY PELICAN, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811 Dan Voll & Michelle 4:30 p.m. Jan. 7 SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652 King Eddie & the Pili Pili Band 6 p.m. Jan. 3. Tad Jennings Jan. 4. Savanna Bassett 6 p.m. Jan. 8. Mark O’Quinn 6 p.m.

Jan. 9 SURF RESTAURANT, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Katfish Lee 1 p.m. Jan. 3 & 4

AVONDALE + ORTEGA

CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. Jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free 9 p.m. Tue. & Thur.

Indie dance 9 p.m. Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance Fri.

THE BEACHES

(ALL VENUES IN JAX BEACH UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED) 1st STREET LOFT, 502 N. First St., 241-7848 Open mic 7 p.m. every Thur.

ATLANTIC BEACH BREWING CO., 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 3 & 15, Atlantic Beach, 372-4116 Live music most weekends

Bluesman POPA CHUBBY performs with JW Gilmore & the Blues Authority, 8 p.m. Jan. 8, Café Eleven, St. Augustine Beach, originalcafe11.com.

20 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 3-9, 2018

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC BIG DAWGS PIERSIDE, 2309 Beach Blvd., 372-4100 Billy Bowers 6 p.m. Jan. 4 BLUE WATER DAIQUIRI & OYSTER BAR, 205 N. First St., 249-0083 Live music most weekends BRASS ANCHOR PUB, 2292 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0301 Open mic night 8 p.m. every Wed. CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 249-9595 Heather every Wed. DJ Seven every Thur. Michael Funge 6:30 p.m. every Sun. FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & TEQUILA BAR, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680 Savanna Leigh Bassett 8 p.m. Jan. 7.

Live music every Fri.-Sun. FLY’S TIE IRISH PUB, 177 Sailfish Dr., AB, 246-4293 Live music on weekends GREEN ROOM BREWING, 228 Third St. N., 201-9283 Live music every Fri.-Sun. GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925 Groov 7:30 p.m. every Wed. Michael Smith every Thur. Milton Clapp every Fri. Under the Bus every Sat. Robert Eccles 6 p.m. every Sun. LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 First St. N., 249-5181 Dirty Pete every Wed. Split Tone every Thur. Chillula every Sun. Ryan Campbell & the B Sides every Mon. NW Izzard every Tue. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 Third St. N., 241-5600 Live music most weekends MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573 Gypsies Ginger every Wed. Mike Shackelford, Steve Shanholtzer every Thur. Mezza Shuffle every Mon. Trevor Tanner every Tue. OCEAN 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., AB, 247-0060 Taylor Roberts 7 p.m. Jan. 3 RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877 Live music every Wed.-Sun. SOUTHERN GROUNDS & CO., 200 First St., NB, 249-2922 Billy Bowers 7 p.m. Jan. 6. Jazz Corner 6 p.m. every Tue. SURFER THE BAR, 200 First St. N., 372-9756 Live music every night WHISKEY JAX, 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy., 853-5973 Jerry Maniscalco Jan. 7. Live music most weekends

CAMDEN COUNTY, GA.

CAPTAIN STAN’S Smokehouse, 700 Bedell Dr., Woodbine, 912-729-9552 Touch of Grey 6:30 p.m. Jan. 26. Eddie Pickett 6:30 p.m. every Wed. JJ’S TAVERN, 711 Osborne St., St. Marys, 912-882-5280 Live music most weekends

DOWNTOWN

1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N., 345-5760 Afterfunk, Isaac Corbitt, Big Logic & the Truth Serum, The Pine Box Dwellers 8 p.m. Jan. 5. Rip Junior, Cutting Teeth, Psycho Hill, Adult Life, R-Dent 6:30 p.m. Jan. 7. Zach Deputy, Come Back Alice 8 p.m. Jan. 12 BREEZY JAZZ CLUB, 119 W. Adams St., 666-7562 Catch the Groove 8 p.m. Jan. 6 DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 DJ Brandon Thur.

DJ NickFresh Sat. DJ Randall Mon. DJ Hollywood Tue. FIONN MacCOOL’S, Jacksonville Landing, 374-1247 Spade McQuade 6-9 p.m. Jan. 3. Live music 8 p.m. Jan. 5 & 6. Live music 9 p.m. Jan. 7 HOURGLASS PUB, 345 E. Bay St., 469-1719 Singer-songwriter open mic 9 p.m. every Thur. Live music 9:30 p.m. Fri. INTUITION ALE WORKS, 929 E. Bay St., 683-7720 Live music most weekends JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 Making Sum Noise 5 p.m. Jan. 3. Wildfire Rising 7 p.m. Jan. 5.

Southern Rukus 7 p.m. Jan. 6. Cain’t Never Could Jan. 7 MAVERICKS LIVE, Jax Landing, 356-1110 New Year’s Throwdown: Evergreen Terrace, Boys No Good, Just Like Gentlemen, Cloud 9 Vibes, Mizzy Raw, Personalities, Young Ghosts, Hungover, Intervention, Phantoms, Puzzles to Pieces, Suck Brick Kid, Boysin, Thatguytreshun, Speech Patterns, Fair Fight, Drowning Above Water, Hippy Blaine, She Bleeds Merlot, Metaman 11 a.m. Jan. 6. Joe Buck, DJ Justin every Thur.-Sat. MYTH NIGHTCLUB, 333 E. Bay St., 707-0474 Jetpuck, Romeo, Gllxy, B3atbum, Scratchnsmith, Jason Paolini, Don Brad 9 p.m. Jan. 3. DJs Ibay, Jon Kinesis, Aurakull, Darren Parks, Eden Shurman, B3atbum Jan. 6.

FLEMING ISLAND

BOONDOCKS GRILL & BAR, 2808 Henley Rd., Green Cove, 406-9497 Richard Lee, Paul Ivey 7 p.m. Jan. 5. Lyndie Burns, Hard 2 Handle 7 p.m. Jan. 6 CREEK LIFE FOOD SHACK, 2853 Henley Rd., 203-2245 Shayne Rammler 8 p.m. Jan. 5 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999 Live music most weekends WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Small Town Pharmacy 9 p.m. Jan. 5

INTRACOASTAL

CLIFF’S Bar & Grill, 3033 Monument Rd., Ste. 2, 645-5162 The Party Cartel 9 p.m. Jan. 12. Open mic every Tue. JERRY’S Sports Bar & Grille, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766 Sidewalk 65 8:30 p.m. Jan. 5. Mr. Natural 8:30 p.m. Jan. 6.

Live music every Fri.

MANDARIN

ENZA’S, 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 109, 268-4458 Brian Iannucci Jan. 3 & 7 IGGY’S GRILL & BAR, 104 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 101, 209-5209 DJ Greg 7 p.m. every Wed. TAPS BAR & GRILL, 2220 C.R. 210, St. Johns, 819-1554 Robbie Litt Duo 8 p.m. Jan. 3. Boogie Freaks 8 p.m. Jan. 5

ORANGE PARK + MIDDLEBURG

CHEERS PARK AVENUE, 1138 Park Ave., 269-4855 DJ Capone 9:30 p.m. Jan. 3. Ginger Beard Man 8 p.m. Jan. 4 DALTON’S SPORTS GRILL, 2620 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 17, 282-1564 Craig Hand 8 p.m. Jan. 5. Live music most weekends DEE’S MUSIC BAR, 2141 Loch Rane Blvd., Ste. 140, 375-2240 Big Engine Jan. 26. DJ Troy every Wed. The HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael on the piano every Tue.-Sat. The ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 TreeHouse!

9 p.m. Jan. 5. Live music every Fri. & Sat. SHARK CLUB, 714 Park Ave., 215-1557 Digital Skyline 9 p.m.

Jan. 5. Live music most weekends

OVERSET

PONTE VEDRA

PALM VALLEY OUTDOORS Bar & Grill, 377 S. Roscoe Blvd., Palm Valley, 834-7183 Billy Bowers noon Jan. 13. Live music every Fri.-Sun. PUSSER’S GRILLE, 816 A1A, 280-7766 Savanna Leigh Bassett 6 p.m. Jan. 3. Live music every Wed.-Sat. TABLE 1, 330 A1A N., 280-5515 Billy Bowers 6 p.m. Jan. 10.

Live music every Wed., Thur. & Sat.

RIVERSIDE + WESTSIDE

ACROSS the STREET, 948 Edgewood Ave. S., 683-4182 Live music most weekends HOBNOB, 220 Riverside Ave., Ste. 10, 513-4272 Live music every Fri. NIGHTHAWKS, 2952 Roosevelt Blvd. Master Radical 8 p.m.

Jan. 5. Bad Idols, Sin Jan. 9 SOUTH KITCHEN & SPIRITS, 3638 Park St., 475-2362 Live music most weekends

ST. AUGUSTINE

ARNOLD’S LOUNGE, 3912 N. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 824-8738 Mr. Natural every Thur.

CAFE ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311 Peter Bradley Adams 8:30 p.m. Jan. 5. Popa Chubby 8 p.m. Jan. 8. Steve Poltz 8:30 p.m. Jan. 10. Fred Eaglesmith Jan. 12 CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 Ian Kelly 2 p.m.

Jan. 4. Tony Scozzaro, The Committee Jan. 5. Gary Douglas Campbell, The Committee Jan. 6. Vinny Jacobs 2 p.m. Jan. 7 DOS COFFEE & WINE, 300 San Marco Ave., 342-2421 Live music every weekend MARDI GRAS, 123 San Marco Ave., 823-8806 JW Gilmore & the Blues Authority 9 p.m. Jan. 6. Jax English Salsa Band 6 p.m. Jan. 7. Blues Dudes 7:30 p.m. Jan. 9 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040 Live music most weekends PROHIBITION KITCHEN, 119 St. George St., 209-5704 Leelyn Osborn, Narrow Magazine 6 p.m. Jan. 3. Kalani Rose, Smoke Stack Jan. 4. Radio Love, Parker Urban Band Jan. 5. Sailor Jane & the Swell, Ramona Jan. 6 TEMPO, 16 Cathedral Pl., 342-0286 Jay Bird 7 p.m. Jan. 4.

Jax English Salsa Band 6 p.m. Jan. 7 TRADEWINDS LOUNGE, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Blistur Jan. 5 & 6

SAN MARCO

DOUBLETREE, 1201 Riverplace Blvd., 398-8800 Live music 4:30 p.m. every Thur.

JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Wild Ponies 8 p.m. Jan. 6. Blood Bath & Beyond, Social Repose, September Mourning, Night Argent Jan. 12.

THE LOCAL, 4578 San Jose Blvd., 683-8063 John Lumpkin 8 p.m. Jan. 4 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Larry Mangum 7 p.m. Jan. 6. NFFN Artist Showcase 7 p.m. Jan. 10.

Jack Williams 7 p.m. Jan. 11

SOUTHSIDE, ARLINGTON & BAYMEADOWS

BAHAMA BREEZE, 10205 River Coast Dr., 646-1031 King Eddie & the Pili Pili Band 6 p.m. every Thur.

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955 Robby & Felix Jan. 4. Courtnie Frazier Jan. 5. Ryan Campbell Jan. 6 WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., 634-7208 Mojo Roux 7:30 p.m. every Sun. Live music most weekends

SPRINGFIELD + NORTHSIDE

CROOKED ROOSTER BREWERY, 1478 S. Sixth St., Macclenny, 653-2337 Fat Possum Overdrive 7 p.m. Jan. 6. Open mic 7 p.m. every Wed. HYPERION BREWING CO., 1740 N. Main St., 518-5131 Open mic 6:30 p.m. Jan. 4 & 18. Live music most weekends & 2:30 p.m. every Sun. KNUCKLEHEADS Bar, 850532 U.S. 17, 222-2380 Live music every weekend MELLOW MUSHROOM, 15170 Max Leggett Pkwy., 757-8843 Live music most every weekend OCEANWAY BAR, 12905 Main St. N., 647-9127 Live music most every weekend SHANTYTOWN PUB, 22 W. Sixth St., Springfield Some Kind of Nightmare 7 p.m. Jan. 4

_____________________________________

To list your band’s gig, please send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price, and a contact number to print to Madeleine Peck Wagner, email madeleine@folioweekly.com or by the U.S. Postal Service, 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Events run on a space-available basis. Deadline is at noon every Wednesday for the next Wednesday’s publication.

JANUARY 3-9, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 21

FOLIO DINING MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moonriverpizza. net. F 2017 Best of Jax winner.

Authentic Northern-style pizzas, 20-plus toppings, pie/slice.

Calzones. $ BW TO L D M-Sa THE MUSTARD SEED CAFÉ, 833 Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Casual organic eatery, juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juices, herbal teas, coffees, daily specials. $$ K TO B L M-Sa THE PATIO PLACE, 416 Ash St., 410-3717, patioplacebistro. com. Bistro/wine bar/crêperie’s global menu uses crêpes: starters, entrées, shareables, desserts. $$ BW TO B L D Tu-Su POINTE RESTAURANT, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabethpointelodge.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. In awardwinning inn Elizabeth Pointe Lodge. Seaside dining; in or out.

Hot buffet breakfast daily, full lunch menu. Homestyle soups, specialty sandwiches, desserts. $$$ BW K B L D Daily THE SALTY PELICAN BAR & Voted Best Pizza on Amelia Island in our 2017 Best GRILL, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, of Jax readers' poll, MOON RIVER PIZZA offers plenty thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. 2ndof fun to go along with their popular pies. story outdoor bar. T.J. & Al offer photo by Madison Gross local seafood, fish tacos, Mayport shrimp, po’boys, cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily AMELIA ISLAND + SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, FERNANDINA BEACH slidersseaside.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Oceanfront.

BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F Award-winning handmade crabcakes, fried pickles, fresh On the water at Centre Street’s end. Southern hospitality, seafood. Open-air 2nd floor balcony, playground. $$ FB K L upscale atmosphere; daily specials, fresh local seafood, D Daily aged beef. $$$ FB L D Daily THE SURF RESTAURANT & BAR, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo.com.

261-5711, thesurfonline.com. Oceanview dining since 1957, F Family-owned café in historic building. Worldly fare, inside or on the deck. Steaks, seafood, burgers, daily food and made-from-scratch dressings, sauces, desserts, sourcing drink specials; Wing It Wednesdays. $$ FB K TO L D Daily fresh veggies, seafood. Dine in or al fresco under oakT-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. Eighth St., 261-6310, shaded patio. Microbrew Karibrew Pub brews beer onsite; traysburgerstation.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. imports. $$ FB K TO R, Su; L Daily, D Tu-Su in season Family-owned-and-operated 18+ years. Blue plate specials, THE CRAB TRAP, 31 N. Second St., 261-4749, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L M-Sa ameliacrabtrap.com. F For nearly 40 years, family-ownedARLINGTON + REGENCY and-operated. Fresh local seafood, steaks, specials. HH. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1301 Monument Rd., Ste. 5, $$ FB L Sa-M; D Nightly 724-5802. F SEE ORANGE PARK. JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddianescafe.com. F Renovated 1887 shotgun house.

AVONDALE + ORTEGA Faves: jambalaya, French toast, pancakes, mac & cheese, FOOD ADDICTZ GRILL, 1044 Edgewood Ave. S., 240-1987. crêpes. Vegan items. Inside or porch overlooking historic Family-and-veteran-owned place is all about home cooking. area. $$ BW K TO B L D M, W, F, Sa; B L Su Customer faves: barbecued pulled pork, blackened chicken, LA MANCHA, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646, Caesar wrap and Portobello mushroom burger. $ K TO B L lamancharestaurante.com. Spanish, Portuguese fare, D Tu-Su Brazilian flair. Tapas, seafood, steaks, sangria. Drink HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, specials. AYCE paella Sun. $$$ FB K TO D Nightly harpoonlouies.net. F Locally owned & operated 20+ years.

LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 474272 S.R. 200, 844-2225. F American pub. 1/2-lb. burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta.

SEE ORANGE PARK. Local beers, HH. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MOJO NO. 4 URBAN BBQ & WHISKEY BAR, 3572 St. Johns Ave., Ste. 1, 381-6670, mojobbq.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner.

Pulled pork and Carolina-style barbecue. Delta fried catfish.

Avondale’s Mojo has shrimp & grits, specialty cocktails. Local AVERAGE ENTRÉE COST musicians on weekends. $$ FB K TO L D Daily $ $ $ $ < 10 20- 35 $$$ PINEGROVE MARKET & DELI, 1511 PineGrove Ave., 389-8655, $ pinegrovemarket.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. 40+ years. $$ $$$$ > $35 10- $20 Burgers, Cubans, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher, USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. Fri. & Sat. fish fry. $ BW TO B L D M-Sa ABBREVIATIONS & RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaurantorsay.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. French/ SPECIAL NOTES Southern bistro; local organic ingredients. Steak frites, L = Lunch BW = Beer/Wine mussels, pork chops. $$$ FB R, Su; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, D = Dinner FB = Full Bar simplysaras.net. F Down-home fare from scratch: Bite Club = Hosted eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit K = Kids’ Menu cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L Free Folio Weekly TO = Take Out D Tu-Sa, B Sa Bite Club Event SOUTH KITCHEN & SPIRITS, 3638 Park St., 475-2362, B = Breakfast F = Folio Weekly south.kitchen. Southern classics: crispy catfish with smoked gouda grits, family-style fried chicken, burgers, vegetarian, Distribution Spot R = Brunch vegan, gluten-free options. $$ FB K TO L D Daily

DINING DIRECTORY KEY

To list your restaurant, call your account manager or call or text SAM TAYLOR, Folio Weekly publisher, at 904-860-2465 (email: staylor@folioweekly.com).

22 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 3-9, 2018

BAYMEADOWS

AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE INTRACOASTAL. INDIA’S, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajaxcom. F Authentic cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetables, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L M-Sa; D Nightly LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498.

F SEE ORANGE PARK.

DINING DIRECTORY METRO DINER, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., 425-9142. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE SAN MARCO. NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 11030 Baymeadows Rd., 260-2791. 2017 Best of Jax finalist.

SEE MANDARIN. PATTAYA THAI GRILLE, 9551 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1, 646-9506, ptgrille.com. 2017 Best of Jax finalist. Since 1989, the family-owned place has offered an extensive menu of traditional Thai, vegetarian, new-Thai; curries, seafood, noodles, soups. Low-sodium & gluten-free. $$$ BW TO L D Tu-Sa THE WELL WATERING HOLE, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9, 737-7740, thewellwateringhole.com. Local craft beers, glass/bottle wines. Meatloaf sandwich, pulled Peruvian chicken, vegan black bean burgers. Gluten-free pizzas, desserts. HH specials. $$ BW K TO L M-F; D Tu-Sa WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 135, 634-7208, whiskeyjax.com. Popular gastropub has craft beers, gourmet burgers, handhelds, signature plates, tacos and–sure– whiskey. HH M-F. $$ FB B Sa & Su; L F; D Nightly

BEACHES

(Venues are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

1st STREET LOFT, 502 N. First St., 241-7848, 1ststreetloft.com.

New beach spot serves breakfast and lunch all day. Local artists’ works are displayed. It’s a coffeehouse and live music venue, too. $ TO B L D W-Sa; B L Su & M ANGIE’S SUBS, 1436 Beach Blvd., 246-2519. ANGIE’S GROM SUBS, 204 Third Ave. S., 241-3663. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Fresh ingredients, 25+ years. Huge salads, blue-ribbon iced tea. Grom has Sun. brunch, no alcohol. $ K BW TO L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 2400 S. Third St., Ste. 201, 374-5735. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. BREEZY COFFEE SHOP WINE BAR, 235 Eighth Ave. S., 241-2211, breezycoffeeshopcafe.com. Local beachy coffee & wine shop by day; wine bar by night. Fresh baked pastries, breakfast sandwiches all day. Grab-n-Go salads, cheeses, hummus. $ BW K TO B L D Daily The CRAFT PIZZA CO., 240 Third St. N., Neptune Beach, 853-6773, thecraftpizzaco.com. F Al Mansur’s new place has innovative pies made with locally sourced ingredients.

Dine inside or out. $$ BW L D Daily CRUISERS GRILL, 319 23rd Ave. S., 270-0356, cruisersgrill. com. Locally owned & operated 20+ years. Half-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, big salads, award-winning cheddar fries, sangria. $ BW K TO L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001, europeanstreet.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner.

SEE RIVERSIDE.

LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 6586 GA. Hwy. 40 B6, St. Marys, 912-576-7006. F SEE ORANGE PARK. OUTERBANKS SPORTS BAR & GRILLE, 140 The Lakes Blvd., Ste. H, Kingsland, 912-729-5499. Fresh seafood, burgers, steaks, wings. $$ FB TO D Nightly SALT.PEPPER.THYME, 105 N. Lee St., Kingsland, 912-510-0444, saltpepperthyme.net. Varied American Southern fare in an elegant setting. Dine in or out. $$ BW K TO L W; L & D Th-Sa

DOWNTOWN

BELLWETHER, 100 N. Laura St., 802-7745, bellwetherjax.com. Elevated Southern classics in an understated setting, with chef/owner Jon Insetta’s focus on flavors, and chef Kerri Rogers’ culinary creativity. The Northeast Florida menu changes seasonally. Rotating local craft beers, regional spirits, cold brew coffee program. $$ FB TO L M-F CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth, 356-8282, casadoraitalian.com.

F Serving Italian fare, 40+ years: veal, seafood, pizza.

Homemade salad dressing. $ BW K L M-F; D M-Sa OLIO MARKET, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com.

F Scratch soups, sandwiches. Duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L M-F; D F & Sa SPLIFF’S GASTROPUB, 15 N. Ocean St., 844-5000, spliffsgastropub.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Music venue has munchie apps, mac & cheese dishes, pockets, gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches. HH M-F. $ BW L D M-Sa URBAN GRIND COFFEE COMPANY, 45 W. Bay, Ste. 102, 516-7799, urbangrind.coffee. Locally roasted whole bean brewed coffees, espressos, pastries, smoothies, bagels.

Chicken/tuna salad, sandwiches. WiFi. $ B L M-F URBAN GRIND EXPRESS, 50 W. Laura St., 516-7799.

SEE ABOVE. ZODIAC BAR & GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283, thezodiacbarandgrill.com. 16+ years. Mediterranean cuisine, American fare, paninis, vegetarian dishes. Lunch buffet. Espressos, hookahs. HH M-F. $ FB L M-F; D W-Sa

FLEMING ISLAND

GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 1915 East-West Pkwy., 541-0009. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. MOJO SMOKEHOUSE, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE AVONDALE. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteysfishcamp.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Real fish camp. Gator tail, freshwater catfish, daily specials, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar. Come by boat, bike or car. $ FB K TO L Tu-Su; D Nightly

BIG SHOTS!

BEN DELAPENA

The Loft

925 King St. • Riverside Born in: Chicago Years in Biz: 6 (ish) Favorite Bar: Birdies (5 Points) Favorite Cocktail Style: Fast? Yeah, fast.

Go-To Ingredients: Ice Hangover Cure: Advil, water and a shower Will Not Cross My Lips: So-Co should never have been created.

Insider’s Secret: Don't ask the bartender to choose your drink/shot Celebrity Sighting At Your Bar: Fabio's dad When You Say "The Usual": Rumple & Coors Lite

FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & TEQUILA BAR, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680, flyingiguana.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Latin American: tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana fare. 100+ tequilas. $ FB TO L D Daily GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925, gustojax.com. Classic Old World Roman fare, big Italian menu: homestyle pasta, beef, chicken, fish delicacies; open pizza-tossing kitchen.

Reservations encouraged. $$ FB TO L R D Tu-Su HAWKERS ASIAN STREET FARE, 241 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 425-1025. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 657 Third St. N., 247-9620. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 1534 3rd St. N., 853-6817. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT & BLUES BAR, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE AVONDALE. M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-2599, shackburgers.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes. Dine indoors or out. $$ BW L D Daily NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 1585 N. Third St., 458-1390. 2017 Best of Jax finalist. SEE MANDARIN. RAGTIME TAVERN SEAFOOD & GRILL, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F 34 years and counting, the iconic seafood place serves blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily HH, brunch Sun. $$ FB L D Daily WHISKEY JAX, 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy., 853-5973.

SEE BAYMEADOWS.

CAMDEN COUNTY, GEORGIA

CAPTAIN STAN’S SMOKEHOUSE, 700 Bedell Dr., Woodbine, 912-729-9552. Barbecue, sides, hot dogs, burgers, desserts.

Dine in or out on picnic tables. $$ FB K TO L & D Tu-Sa

INTRACOASTAL WEST

AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. 30 years of awesome gourmet pizza, baked dishes. All day HH M-Th. $ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

MANDARIN + NW ST. JOHNS

AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE INTRACOASTAL. ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199, athenscafejax.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. 20+ years of Greek fare, serving dolmades (stuffed grape leaves), baby shoes (stuffed eggplant), Greek beers. Vegetarian-friendly.

Full bar. Early bird menu Mon.-Fri. $$ FB L M-F; D M-Sa CRUISERS GRILL, 5613 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 1, 737-2874.

SEE BEACHES. FIRST COAST DELI & GRILL, 6082 St. Augustine Rd., 733-7477.

Pancakes, bacon, sandwiches, burgers, wings. $ K TO B L Daily JAX DINER, 5065 St. Augustine Rd., 739-7070, jaxdiner.com.

Simple name, simple concept: Local. Chef Roderick “Pete” Smith, a local culinary expert with nearly 20 years under his apron, uses locally sourced ingredients from area farmers, vendors and the community for American and Southern dishes. Seasonal brunch. $ K TO B L M-F, D F METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO BAR-B-QUE, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200, mojobbq.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE AVONDALE. NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. F 2017 Best of Jax finalist. Organic soups, baked items, sandwiches,

PINT-SIZED

For every calendar page, a BEER FESTIVAL

12 MONTHS OF

CRAFT

IT’S A NEW YEAR AND HIGH TIME FOR A new beer. While everyone else makes resolutions, and a few days later breaks them, let’s switch it up with a calendar of beer events to go to in 2018. Keep in mind, events are subject to change, so always check to be sure you get the right dates, times, location and ticket information.

JANUARY

Funky Buddha, South Florida makers of favorites like Last Snow and Last Buffalo in the Park, puts on a great party at the brewery to celebrate the release of its much-loved Maple Bacon Coffee Porter.

This year it’s on Jan. 13.

FEBRUARY

What started as a small beer festival under the Fuller Warren Bridge has become one of the premier beer events in Northeast Florida. The fifth annual Riverside Craft Beer Festival, benefiting nationally recognized Community PedsCare, a program of Community Hospice & Palliative Care, is Feb. 24. More at riversidecraftbeerfestival.com.

MARCH

Hunahpu’s Day, begun as a private tasting among friends, has now become an epic rare beer tasting and release party by Tampa’s Cigar City Brewing. On March 10, breweries from around the world gather to imbibe and share. See cigarcitybrewing.com/ hunahpus-2018 for details.

APRIL

Given Las Vegas’ reputation as a wild, loose city, the Great Vegas Festival of Beer by Motley Brews is an event you do not want to miss. There’s a gastropub, demonstrations, presentations and lots of cold beer samples. Plan your trip for April 6 & 7; we promise to not show anyone your souvenir pictures. Learn more at greatvegasbeer.com.

MAY

Not so much a festival as a collection of beer events, Asheville Beer Week, May 25June 2, will slake your thirst for great beer.

Check avlbeerweek.com for details.

JUNE

Vail, Colorado is beautiful year-round, but it’s positively gorgeous during the Vail Craft Beer Classic. Set for June 14-17 this year, the event features beers at dozens of events, including outdoor adventures. See vailcraftbeerclassic.com.

JULY

Michigan boasts one of the most vibrant brewing scenes in the nation. I recommend the 21st annual Michigan Summer Beer Festival in Ypsilanti, July 27 & 28. You get to try about 1,000 craft beers from more than 100 breweries and that’s not nothing. More at mibeer.com/summer-festival.

AUGUST

Germany is a dream destination for beer lovers; other than Oktoberfest, one of the best beer fests in the world is the International Berlin Beer Festival, Aug. 3-5. Sample more than 2,400 beers at the world’s longest beer garden along with 800,000 of your closest friends. Details at bierfestival-berlin.de/index%20eng.html.

SEPTEMBER

Denver’s Great American Beer Festival is among the greatest beer events known to man. With more than 3,800 varieties, it’s a beer-lover’s nirvana, held Sept. 20-22. Learn more at greatamericanbeerfestival.com.

OCTOBER

One word: Oktoberfest. ’Nuff said. Check back for details on Bold City Brewery’s 10th anniversary celebration.

NOVEMBER

Festivals tend to slow as winter holidays draw near, but the annual Orlando Beer Festival organized by Folio Weekly sister paper Orlando Weekly is a swilling good time. Hit orlandobeerfestival.com for details.

DECEMBER

If barhopping and drinking while wearing a Santa suit sounds good, Santacon is your event. If you can’t make it to NYC for the largest collection of Clauses you’ll ever see, check santacon.info to find one near you.

Marc Wisdom marc@folioweekly.com

PINT-SIZED RETAIL COMMUNITY

ALEWIFE CRAFT BEER BOTTLE SHOP 1035 Park St. Jacksonville

TOTAL WINE & MORE

4413 Town Center Pkwy. Ste. 300 Jacksonville

BUYGO

22 S. Eighth St. Fernandina Beach JANUARY 3-9, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23

DINING DIRECTORY BITE SIZED BITE-SIZED Range of highs—and lows— at LOCAL PIZZA JOINT

HITS & MISSES I’VE HEARD SOME GOOD THINGS ABOUT THE ‘ZA AT Joseph’s Pizza on the outskirts of Springfield, but was curious about the rest of the menu. Italian spots are always a struggle for me, because I expect certain things to taste a certain way. But once I found out the bread’s made in-house, I had to give it a go.

The Muffaletta sandwich ($8.50) had exactly what I wanted in a sandwich, and it’s giant to boot. Layers of ham, Genoa salami, mortadella, pastrami and provolone inside a hyuuuuge housemade sesame bun. A sandwich with this amount of meat doesn’t need a salty, oily addition—that’s a joke, because, yes, yes, it does—and Joseph’s does it right with an extra-salty, oily kiss of housemade chopped olive dressing. This one I’ll definitely order again.

The other two specialties I ordered—Chicken Piccata ($13) with angel hair pasta and Eggplant Parmigiana ($12) with ziti—were perfect for soaking up sauce. The piccata is sautéed with capers, artichoke hearts and fresh mushrooms in a lemon butter and white wine sauce; it was good, but not great. The eggplant parm is a standard

JOSEPH’S PIZZA

7316 N. Main St., Springfield, 765-0335 30 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 270-1122, josephspizza.com

Italian dish. Joseph’s eggplant was super-thin, hand-sliced, breaded and fried—maybe just a tad too fried, but still quite good. You can top with meat sauce or marinara and mozzarella. Both were big, but I’m not sure I’d get them again.

I don’t know what to say about the garlic knots.

You get a dozen for $4, but the degree of garlic used was piddling, aka not enough to justify using the word ‘garlic.’ To be honest, they made me a little sad sitting there by themselves—but they paired beautifully with the soup.

I was quite excited about the minestrone soup.

I have fond memories of this easy, tasty, satisfying mélange, so I had rather high expectations as I dipped my spoon in the bowl. It emerged with a watery, barely tomato broth hosting measly frozen veggies, like potatoes and carrots. Green beans were the only beans I saw. Where were the great northerns, the red kidneys? It was a disgrace to all minestrones that came before and all that will come after. Skip it.

My tastebuds were flummoxed by the marinara.

It wasn’t traditional; more like a veggie sauce with pasta. Often, basic pasta sauce starts with any combination of celery, carrots, onions, etc. These veggies are chopped small enough to cook down so you can barely taste/see individual pieces.

At Joseph’s, you get a chunky veggie sauce with carrots, zucchini and more.

Joseph’s is a homestyle place, the people are nice and you get fresh bread made in-house with every order. Gluten-free pasta is available, too.

These are definitely selling points, but you may want to stick with sandwiches and pizza.

I’ll be back for the muffaletta, but I’m still on the hunt for a favorite Mom & Pop Italian spot in Northeast Florida.

Brentley Stead biteclub@folioweekly.com 24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 3-9, 2018

OVERSET

The fresh seafood, smooth cocktails and drafts and friendly staff at SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL helped them get voted winners in multiple categories in our 2017 Best of Jax readers' poll. photo by Madison Gross

prepared foods. Juice, smoothie, coffee bar. All-natural beer/ wine. $ BW TO K B L D Daily

ORANGE PARK

THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959, hilltop-club.com.

Southern fine dining. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. Extensive bourbon selection. $$$ FB D Tu-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 165, 276-7370.

1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 15, 272-3553. 5733 Roosevelt Blvd., 446-9500. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove, 284-7789, larryssubs.com. F Larry’s piles ’em high, serves ’em fast; 36+ years. Hot & cold subs, soups.

Some Larry’s serve breakfast. $ K TO B L D Daily METRO DINER, 2034 Kingsley Ave., 375-8548. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. The ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611, roadhouseonline.net. Sandwiches, wings, burgers, quesadillas for 35+ years. 75+ imported beers. Live music. $ FB L D Daily SPRING PARK COFFEE, 328 Ferris St., Green Cove Springs, 531-9391, springparkcoffee.com. Cozy shop; fresh-roasted Brass Tacks coffee, handcrafted hot & cold drinks, specialty lattes, cappuccino, macchiato, teas, pastries, sandwiches, breakfast. $ B L D Daily

PONTE VEDRA BEACH

AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A, 543-1494. F 2017 Best of Jax winner.

SEE INTRACOASTAL. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 830 A1A N., Ste. 6, 273-3993. F SEE ORANGE PARK. M SHACK NOCATEE, 641 Crosswater Pkwy., 395-3575. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE BEACHES. METRO DINER, 340 Front St., Ste. 700, 513-8422. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE SAN MARCO.

RIVERSIDE, 5 PTS + WESTSIDE

13 GYPSIES, 887 Stockton St., 389-0330, 13gypsies.com.

2017 Best of Jax winner. Authentic Mediterranean cuisine: chorizo, tapas, blackened cod, pork skewers, coconut mango curry chicken. Breads from scratch. $$ BW L D Tu-Sa, R Sa AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., Ste. 201, 388-8384. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE INTRACOASTAL. BIG OAK BBQ & CATERING, 1948 Henley Rd., Middleburg, 214-3041. 1440 Dunn Ave., 757-2225, bigoakbbqfl.com.

Family-owned-and-operated barbecue joints have smoked chicken, pulled pork, ribs, sides and stumps, which sounds damn good. $$ K TO L D M-Sa BLACK SHEEP, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, blacksheep5points. com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. New American, Southern; local source ingredients. Specials, rooftop bar. HH. $$$ FB R Sa & Su; L M-F; D Nightly BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 869 Stockton St., Ste. 1, 855-1181, boldbeancoffee.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner.

Small-batch, artisanal approach to sourcing and roasting single-origin, direct-trade coffees. Signature blends, handcrafted syrups, espressos, craft beers. $ BW TO B L Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412, cornertaco.com.

Made-from-scratch “Mexclectic street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free, vegetarian options. $ BW L D Tu-Su CUMMER CAFÉ, Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummer.org. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Light lunch, quick bites, locally roasted coffee, espresso-based drinks, sandwiches, desserts, daily specials.

Dine in or in gardens. $ BW K L D Tu; L W-Su EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 2753 Park St., 384-9999.

2017 Best of Jax winner. 130+ import beers, 20 on tap.

Sandwiches. Dine outside at some E-Sts. $ BW K L D Daily

GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner.

Juice bar uses certified organic fruits, veggies. Artisanal cheeses, 300 craft, import beers, 50 organic wines, produce, meats, vitamins, herbs, wraps, sides, sandwiches. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS ASIAN STREET FARE, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Authentic dishes from mobile stalls: BBQ pork char sui, beef haw fun, Hawkers baos, chow faan, grilled Hawker skewers. $ BW TO L D Daily IL DESCO, 2665 Park St., 290-6711, ildescojax.com. Authentic Italian cuisine; wood-fired pizzas, pasta, baked Italian dishes, raw bar, spaghetti tacos. Daily HH. $$-$$$ FB K TO L D Daily JOHNNY’S DELI & GRILLE, 474 Riverside Ave., 356-8055.

F Casual spot offers made-to-order sandwiches, wraps. $ TO B L M-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1509 Margaret St., 674-2794. 7895 Normandy Blvd., 781-7600. 8102 Blanding Blvd., 779-1933.

F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., 999-4600. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442.

F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. M SHACK, 1012 Margaret St., 423-1283. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE BEACHES. SOUTHERN ROOTS FILLING STATION, 1275 King St., 513-4726, southernrootsjax.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Fresh vegan fare; local, organic ingredients. Specials, on bread, local greens/rice, change daily. Sandwiches, coffees, teas. $ Tu-Su SUN-RAY CINEMA, 1028 Park St., 359-0047, sunraycinema.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. First-run, indie and art films screened. Beer, local drafts, wine, pizza–Godbold, Black Lagoon Supreme–hot dogs, hummus, sandwiches, popcorn, nachos, brownies. $$ BW Daily SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside Ave., Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushicafejax.com. F Monster, Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll.

Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. Inside/patio. $$ BW L D Daily

ST. AUGUSTINE

AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE INTRACOASTAL. The CORAZON CINEMA & CAFE, 36 Granada St., 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com. Sandwiches, combos, salads and pizza are served at the cinema house, showing indie and first-run movies. $$ Daily CRUISERS GRILL, 3 St. George St., 824-6993. SEE BEACHES. THE FLORIDIAN, 72 Spanish St., 829-0655, thefloridianstaug.com. Updated Southern fare; fresh, local ingredients. Vegetarian, gluten-free options. Signature fried green tomato bruschetta, blackened fish cornbread stack; grits w/shrimp/fish/tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D W-M GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F 34+ years. Varied urban cuisine menu changes twice daily. Signature: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. $$ FB R Su; L D Daily MARDI GRAS SPORTS BAR, 123 San Marco Ave., 347-3288, mardibar.com. Lively spot has wings, nachos, shrimp, chicken, Phillys, sliders, soft pretzels. $$ FB TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 1000 S. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 758-3323. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO OLD CITY BBQ, 5 Cordova St., 342-5264, mojobbq. com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE AVONDALE. SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 321 A1A, 217-3256. SEE BEACHES. WOODPECKER’S BACKYARD BBQ, 4930 S.R. 13, 531-5670, woodpeckersbbq.weebly.com. Smoked fresh daily. Brisket, ribs, pork, sausage, turkey: in sandwiches, plates by the pound. 8 sauces, 10 sides. $$ TO L D Tu-Su

SAN MARCO + SOUTHBANK

THE BEARDED PIG SOUTHERN BBQ & BEER GARDEN, 1224 Kings Ave., 619-2247, thebeardedpigbbq.com. 2017 Best of Jax finalist. Barbecue joint Southern style: brisket, pork, chicken, sausage, beef; veggie platters. $$ BW K TO Daily BISTRO AIX, 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox.com. F Mediterranean/French inspired menu changes seasonally. 250+ wines. Wood-fired oven-baked, grilled specialties: pizza, pasta, risotto, steaks, seafood.

Hand-crafted cocktails, specialty drinks. Dine outside.

HH M-F. $$$ FB L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 1905 Hendricks Ave. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 398-9500.

2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusionsushijax.com. F Upscale; fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, katsu, seafood. $$ K L D Daily HAVANA-JAX CAFÉ/CUBA LIBRE BAR, 2578 Atlantic Blvd., 399-0609, havanajax.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner.

Bite Club certified. Cuban sandwiches are the real thing: big, thick, flattened. Traditional fare: black beans & rice, plantains, steaks, seafood, chicken & rice, roast pork.

Spanish wine, drink specials, mojitos, Cuba libres. Nonstop HH. $ FB K L D Daily KITCHEN ON SAN MARCO, 1402 San Marco Blvd., 396-2344, kitchenonsanmarco.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Gastropub serves local, national craft beers, specialty cocktails. Seasonal menu, with fresh, locally sourced ingredients. $$ FB R Su; L D Daily METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metrodinercom. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Original upscale diner in a historic 1930s-era building. Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, soups. This one serves dinner nightly. $$ B R L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco Blvd., 398-3005, tavernasanmarco.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Chef Sam Efron’s authentic Italian; tapas, wood-fired pizza. Seasonal local produce, meats. Craft beer (some local), award-winning wine. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily

SOUTHSIDE + TINSELTOWN

ALHAMBRA THEATRE & DINING, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner.

Open 50 years. Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus.

Reservations. $$ FB D Tu-Su EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717.

2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. LARRY’S SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F SEE ORANGE PARK. MARIANAS GRINDS, 11380 Beach Blvd., Ste. 10, 206-612-6596. Pacific Islander fare, chamorro culture.

Soups, stews, fitada, beef oxtail, katden pika; empanadas, lumpia, chicken relaguen, BBQ-style ribs, chicken. $$ TO B L D Tu-Su M SHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE BEACHES.

SPRINGFIELD + NORTHSIDE

ANDY’S GRILL, 1810 W. Beaver St., 354-2821, jaxfarmersmarket.com. 2017 Best of Jax finalist. Inside Jax Farmers Market. Local, regional, international produce.

Breakfast, sandwiches. $ B L D M-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 12001 Lem Turner Rd., 764-9999.

SEE ORANGE PARK. UPTOWN KITCHEN & BAR, 1303 Main St. N., 355-0734, uptownmarketjax.com. Bite Club certified. Fresh fare, innovative menus, farm-to-table selections, daily specials. $$ BW TO B L Daily

CHEFFED-UP

Ruminations on FOOD TRENDS … and a prediction!

EDIBLE

FASHION

MY M MISSION ISSI IS SION SI ON FFOR OR TTHE H FFIRST HE IRST IR STT W WEEK EEKK OF EE O TTHE HEE NNEW E EW Year is to predict the next big food trend.

Over the past decade or so, each year has been marked by some major food trend.

Social media can be blamed, just as social media is blamed for all of modern society’s ills. I can almost hear the curmudgeons now, “Remember how much more civilized America was before Facebook, and that Twitter thing?” Yeah, yeah, and think of how much nicer people were before TV, radio, telegram, the printing press, language, etc. These are the same people who abstain from salt, avoid alcohol, eat only certified organic kelp, and preach the gospel of clean eating! What is clean eating, anyway?

Yet no matter who’s responsible for outlandish food trends, I do find them fascinating—if only for the purpose of judging others. And, no, this column is not, I repeat, NOT, a no-judgmentzone. To prove to y’all that a modicum of effort at research went into my sage-like prognostication of 2018’s big trend, I think a quick review of trends from the past few years is in order.

First on the list is the whole “Foodie” movement. Without this obsessivecompulsive clique, trends would likely wallow and die in obscurity, so thank you, foodies! Another immense noshing trend was the return of comfort food. This was just the opportunity macaroni and cheese needed to progress from boxed mixes to the ooey, gooey, indulgent treat we now expect. Fried chicken caught our attention once again, this time as Nashville Hot Chicken or Korean Fried Chicken.

Sriracha soared to monumental heights once reserved for the king of condiments— ketchup. You know you’ve made the big time when fast-food restaurants begin cross-branding with you.

Hipsters were responsible for the cultlike rise of avocado toast and the food truck movement. Ramen took the country by storm just as Taco Tuesday was on the wane. Octopus was often poorly prepared by unskilled hacks. Cronuts had their 15

minutes of fame about four years ago, and let’s not forget the healthful, vegetablecentric movement.

Some of these superstars still hang around, but with far fewer paparazzi seeking them. Example: Kale in its many forms, from dinosaur, to baby, to Tuscan black. And don’t discount the lasting power of cauliflower, with its different colors and deep flavors.

Thus, I’m confidently predicting the food trend for 2018 will be (drum roll): Crêpes. Why? ’Cause they’re super-cool, just exotic enough to be avant-garde, and many cuisines use ’em. Here’s a recipe for a very basic French version. Go on and Chef Up your crêpes with your favorite fillings (ice cream or Nutella are simple yet tasty).

You’ll see I’m right about 2018.

OVERSET

CHEF BILL’S CRÊPES

Ingredients • 2 eggs • 1/4 tsp. salt • 1 cup all-purpose flour • 1-1/2 cups half-and-half • 2 tsp. sugar • 1 tbsp. melted butter, plus 1 tsp. for pan • 1/4 tsp. real vanilla extract Directions 1. Whisk eggs with salt and sugar. Add 1. half-and-half. Whisk to combine.

2. Gradually add flour. Mix well. Add 1. butter, mix.

3. Strain through a fine mesh strainer.

4. Let rest for 20 minutes. Adjust 1. consistency. (Should be fairly thin.)

5. Heat a non-stick pan, brush with 1. butter and add 2 oz. of batter.

6. Cook until lightly browned on the 1. bottom, flip, cook approximately 1 1. minute more. Crêpes!

Until we cook again,

Chef Bill Thompson cheffedup@folioweekly.com ___________________________________ Contact Chef Bill, owner of The Amelia Island CulinaryAcademy,atcheffedup@folioweekly.com to find inspiration and get you Cheffed Up!

CHEFFED-UP GROCERS’ COMMUNITY

BUYGO

WHOLE FOODS

ROWE’S

NATIVE SUN

22 S. Eighth St. Fernandina Beach 1670 Wells Rd. Orange Park 8595 Beach Blvd.

Jacksonville

EARTH FARE

11901-250 Atlantic Blvd.

Jacksonville

PUBLIX

1033 A1A Beach Blvd St. Augustine

10601 San Jose Blvd.

Jacksonville 11030 Baymeadows Rd. Jacksonville 10000 San Jose Blvd.

Jacksonville 1585 N. Third St. Jacksonville Beach

THE SAVORY MARKET 474380 S.R.-200 Fernandina Beach

JANUARY 3-9, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25

PET PARENTING FOLIO LIVING DEAR

SLUICE

DAVI

JUICE

The best shampoos for your DIRTY DOG

ingredients like oatmeal and aloe to soothe irritation, relieve itching and moisturize the skin. The soap-free, pH-balanced formula effectively cleans and deodorizes, leaving your coat clean, soft and smelling better than ever. Another good thing? It’s all-natural, biodegradable and cruelty-free.

(Pay no attention the word [CAT] on the label; some items are for both species!)

BEST DOG SHAMPOO FOR SENSITIVE SKIN

4-LEGGER CERTIFIED ORGANIC DOG SHAMPOO Eco-conscious FOCs (Friends of Canines) will embrace this natural shampoo. It has USDA certified organic ingredients, so you know there are no harsh chemicals to cause irritation. It’s biodegradable, with moisturizing qualities that are heaven-sent for sensitive skin.

BEST HEAVY-DUTY DOG SHAMPOO

VETERINARY FORMULA SOLUTIONS TRIPLE STRENGTH DIRTY DOG CONCENTRATED SHAMPOO With three times the cleansing power of ordinary shampoo, this product knocks out even the smelliest odors. Its extra-strength formula has a blend of aloe, vitamin E and shea butter to moisturize and condition the coat, leaving skin healthier and cleaner than it’s ever been.

Dear Davi, How can I get that squeaky-clean feeling all year long?

Lana the Lhasa Apso Lana, To some dogs, every puddle, muddy pool or even pile of poo is something to savor and/ or roll around in. There’s no escaping the fact that we seem to enjoy getting messy— it’s part of our charm, right?

Though many dogs are quite happy romping around, caked with dirt and stinking to high heaven, being in that condition is something humans tend to frown on. The solution? Bath time!

And though it’s true dogs shouldn’t bathe too frequently because it strips our coats of natural oils, bathing every so often can truly save your skin from irritation— and those nearby from the stench.

With a plethora of options on the market, it’s tough to determine what product is safe and will help keep you healthy and smelling fresh as a desert rose (aka dogbane). I’ve got the lowdown on the leading dog shampoos on the market to help you choose which product is right for you.

BEST DOG SHAMPOO OVERALL

EARTHBATH DOG SHAMPOO Dirty dogs agree: This formula is safe, gentle and effective, which is all you really need in a dog shampoo. It has natural

BEST HYPO-ALLERGENIC SHAMPOO

VET’S BEST HYPO-ALLERGENIC DOG SHAMPOO This shampoo is ultra-soothing, cleaning and moisturizing skin and smoothing dry, brittle coats. Its chief ingredients are aloe, which soothes itching and relieves seasonal allergies, and vitamin E, a great moisturizer. This soap-free, tearless formula won’t irritate sensitive skin or leave a sticky residue—and it has a fresh scent.

BEST WATERLESS SHAMPOO

BURT’S BEES HYDRATING WATERLESS SHAMPOO WITH COCONUT OIL This shampoo allows an effective, convenient way to shampoo without the splashing and soaking (of both washer and washee). It’s a quick fix to keep any dog clean between baths, and moisturizes, hydrates and cleanses the coat, is pH balanced and sulfate, colorant and cruelty-free.

When it comes to dog shampoos, one type does not fit all. A poor choice may cause more harm than good; the right choice will have you looking spiffy and smelling fresh and clean in a jiffy.

Understanding what each product does is vital making the right choice. After all, all dogs deserve a good hair day!

Davi mail@folioweekly.com ____________________________________ “Splish, Splash” is Davi’s doggone favorite song.

PET TIP: SLIPPERY LITTLE SUCKERS IF INSECTS CREEP YOU OUT, IF DOGS, CATS AND birds require too much effort, and you’re not into cleaning a fish tank, there could still be a perfect pet for you: snails and/or slugs! Seriously. Some basics to remember: Both are very sensitive to chemicals, so consider an all-organic diet; NEVER release your pet into the wild unless you’re 100 percent sure it’s a native species, and keep an eye on the temperature and humidity of their cage. Oh, and start an Instagram. All weird pets deserve Insta accounts. #SlugLife 26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 3-9, 2018

JANUARY 3-9, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27

FREEWILL ASTROLOGY

DALE RATERMANN’s Folio Weekly Crossword presented by

CARAVELS, SWAHILI, FREAK FLAGS & AZTECS

Serving Excellence Since 1928 Member American Gem Society

San Marco 2044 San Marco Blvd.

398-9741

Ponte Vedra

THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA

330 A1A North 280-1202

Avondale 3617 St. Johns Ave. 388-5406

FOLIO WEEKLY CROSSWORD 1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

14

15

16

17

18

19

20 25

26

21

22

29

32

31 35

23

28

27

33 37

36 39

40

48

42

50

51

63

59

65

66

71

72

73

74

75

36 10 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 22 24 25 29 31 32 33 35 37 39 43 44 47 50 53 54 55

co-host Pre-K lessons Richie’s mom, to Fonzie UF lab bottle Ship’s front Mayo medics “Just ___ know...”

O’Hara home NYC area Rapper ___ Rida Squawk Box net.

Spike TV, formerly Recently Old Apple Dine at Orsay Ritz Theatre sellout sign Huge windfall Inappropriate gaze Coke brand WJAX bulletins White-collar worker Gloom’s partner Farm outing Daytona 500 unit Kind of shot T-Ray’s burger topper Like some Tom Brady footballs, supposedly

57 58 61 62 64 66 70 71 72 73 74 75

PVB tour group Air force Puff piece State Capitol grp.

Praise Type type Bird food Tale opening Jax locale Foil kin Pepsi brand Short-fused

DOWN 31 Jumbo Shrimp 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 10 11 12 13 21 23 25

positions (Abbr.)

Xanadu band Not straight Misses the mark Pirate flag icons Well-chosen Knee support RAM veggie Navy mop Wolfson’s OR workers Cheer for JU Honker MVP of Super Bowl VIII Rowing need Sure thing FSDB subj.

28 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 3-9, 2018

53

61

70

ACROSS

46

56

60

64

45

52

55

31 Kelly’s former

30

41

54

62

24

44

58

13

38

49

57

12

34

43 47

11

26 Legal advice, maybe 27 Golf tourney 28 Chewy treat 30 Sounded sheepish 33 Ringo, for one 34 CIA forerunner 36 Printer’s proof 38 Treasure Island monogram 40 Squeeze-dry 41 ___ & Linda’s (seafood market) 42 “______ Kitty” 45 Fronton cry 46 Dirt + water

67

68

69

47 Raspy-throated 48 Words the button says 49 “Hooray!”

51 Jags org.

52 Malleable 55 Small club?

56 Think alike 59 “Thanks ___!”

60 I-10 division 63 Holy Mlle.

65 Sen. Nelson, e.g.

67 Hypotheticals 68 Ctrl neighbor, on PCs 69 Set down

SOLUTION TO 12.27.17 PUZZLE P L A S M A S

T A M P A

A I L M E N T S

U N B U T T O N

S T A T E S W O M M A A E N N D O A D E L A N S L E

E S E L S N I A T R H A E P R E R E S A D M S S H S T E I R A T A R E P

T A O U P P E E D T P E E A E L R E A F

D I N G Y P O R T F O L I O

A M A G E M E L A G A T O M Y H H E P M A L T N O S Y E N W E R S Y E A R O N T O R O I L D U A L D E N T E E R C E R B S E S S

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In 2018, your past will undergo transformation.

Your memories will revise and rearrange themselves. Bygone events thought complete and definitive will shimmy and shift, requiring new interpretations. The stories you’ve always told of how you became you will have to be edited, maybe even rewritten. These overhauls may be disconcerting, but they’ll ultimately be liberating.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In 2018, people will be drawn to you more than usual. Some will want you to be their rock—a steady, stable source of practical truth. Some will ask you to be their tonic—a regular, restorative dose of no-nonsense. And others will see you as a creative catalyst to help them get out of ruts and into grooves.

And what will you get in return for providing such a stellar service? First, there’ll be many chances to deepen and refine your integrity. To wield so much influence means you’ll have to consistently act with high-minded motivations. Second, you’ll get a steady supply of appreciation—useful and gratifying.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Influences that oppose you will fade as 2018 unfolds. People who’ve been resistant and uncooperative will at least partly disengage. To expedite diminishing effects of these influences and people, avoid struggling. Loosen the grip they have on your imagination. When they leak into your field of awareness, instead attend an influence or person that helps and supports. Another idea on how to collaborate with cosmic rhythms to reduce conflict: Eliminate any unconscious need you have for perversely invigorating energy from adversaries and bugaboos. Find positive new ways to motivate you.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): In 2018, you’ll figure out how to get your obsessions to consistently work for your greatest good.

You’ll understand what to do to ensure they never drag you down into manic self-sabotage. The resolute ingenuity you summon to accomplish this heroic feat will change you forever. You’ll be reborn into a more vibrant version of you. Past passions have drained and confused you; they become efficient sources of fuel for worthy dreams.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Just because you’re accustomed to a certain trouble doesn’t mean you should stop searching for relief from it. Just because a certain pain no longer knocks you into a demoralized daze for days at a time doesn’t mean it’s good for you. The good news: In 2018, you can finally track down the practical magic needed to accomplish a thorough healing of that trouble and pain. Make this the year you find an ultimate cure.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Have you ever nursed a yearning to speak Swahili or Chinese or Russian? The months ahead will be a great time to get that project started. Dream about trying exotic cuisines and finding new favorite foods? Act on that dream in 2018. Is there a form of manual labor that would be a tonic for your mental and physical health? Life’s giving you a go-ahead to do more of it. Is there a craft or game you’d like to master? Get started. Is there a new trick you’d like to learn? Now’s the time.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Before the 15th century, European nations kept their sailing to the Mediterranean Sea. The ocean was too rough for their fragile, unadaptable ships. But around 1450, the Portuguese developed a new kind of vessel, the caravel. It

used a triangular sail that let it travel against the wind.

Soon, exploratory missions ventured into the open sea and down along the coast of West Africa. This new technology enabled long westward trips across the Atlantic. Make the caravel your symbol of power for 2018. According to my astrological omen-reading, you’ll find or create a resource to let you to do the metaphorical equivalent of sailing well into the wind.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The Aztecs were originally wanderers. They moved from place to place, settling temporarily in areas throughout the land now called Mexico. An old prophecy told them they’d eventually find a permanent home at a site where they’d see an eagle on a cactus, clutching a snake in its talons. There came a day in the 14th century when tribe members saw this very scene on an island in the middle of a lake. That’s where they began to build a city; soon it was the center of their empire. This can serve as a metaphor to guide you in 2018. You, too, will discover future power spot—the heart of your domain for years.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Not every minute of every day, but when you’ve had the time, you’ve been searching for a certain treasure. With patience and persistence, you’ve narrowed down its whereabouts by collecting clues and following your intuition. Now, at last, you know its exact location. As you arrive, ready to claim it, you tremble with anticipation. When you peel away the secrets wrapped around it, you see it’s not what you expected. Your first response is disappointment. Still, you decide to abide in the presence of the confusing blessing and see what happens. Slowly, step by step, you’re aware of a new possibility: You’re not quite ready to understand and use the treasure; you’ll have to have new capacities before you’ll be ready.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Soulful beauty will be a major theme in 2018. Or it should be. But I suppose it’s possible you’re not too interested in soulful beauty, maybe even bored by it.

Maybe you prefer skin-deep beauty, expensive beauty or glamorous beauty. If you choose to follow predilections like those, you’ll lose out on tremendous opportunities to grow wilder and wiser. Let’s hope you’re available for a deeper, more provocative kind of beauty—one you could be more skilled at detecting as the year unfolds.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “Let your freak flag fly” was an expression from the hippie culture of the 1960s and 1970s.

It was a colorful way to say, “Be your most unique and eccentric self; show off your idiosyncrasies with uninhibited pride.” Let’s revive it for your use in 2018.

The months ahead will be a good time to cultivate quirks and trust unusual impulses. Give yourself maximum freedom to explore pioneering ideas and maverick inclinations. Paradoxically, doing so will lead to stabilizing and enduring improvements.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In accordance with astrological omens, start compiling a list, “People, Places, Ideas & Things I Didn’t Realize Until Now I Could Fall in Love With.” Then keep adding more and more items during the next 10 months. To get the project underway in the proper spirit, wander freely and explore, giving yourself permission to instigate interesting mischief and brush up against deluxe temptations. For best results, open your heart and eyes as wide as you can. One more clue: Assume that in 2018 you’ll be receptive to inspirational influences and lifetransforming teachings you’ve never known.

Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

NEWS OF THE WEIRD BUTT-UGLY AMERICANS Two American tourists, Joseph Dasilva, 38, and Travis Dasilva, 36, of San Diego, were arrested in Bangkok, Thailand, on Nov. 28 and kept in an immigration detention center after they posted a “butt-selfie” on Instagram, taken in front of the Buddhist temple Wat Arun, or Temple of the Dawn. The pair’s Instagram account, traveling_butts, showcased their hindquarters at tourist sites around the world; it was deleted shortly after the arrests. District police chief Jaruphat Thongkomol told Reuters that the two would also be fined for a similar photo at a different temple.

LIVER IT UP In Birmingham, England, renowned 53-yearold surgeon Simon Bramhall pleaded guilty on Dec. 13 to branding his initials onto human livers using an argon beam during transplant surgeries. A colleague first noticed the initials “S.B.” in 2013 on an organ during a follow-up surgery, which sparked an investigation, the Guardian reported.

Bramhall resigned in 2014 and acknowledged that marking his patients’ livers had been a mistake. But former patient Tracy Scriven of Dyrham, Wiltshire, told the Birmingham Mail he should be reinstated. “Is it really that bad? I wouldn’t have cared if he did it to me.

The man saved my life.”

A POOR IMITATION Jesse Berube, 32, of Rocklin, California, tried using a favorite trick of Old St. Nick—but he got stuck in the chimney of a Citrus Heights business he was trying to rob on Dec. 13 and had to call police for help. ABC News reported Sacramento firefighters responded and used special equipment to free Berube, who now faces one count of burglary. Citrus Heights cops said Berube “does not have the same skills as the real deal.”

BE LIKE MIKE British model Chloe Hammond, 27, also known as Chloe Rebelle, succumbed to a fit of road rage on March 19 when Julie Holloway, 56, tapped on her car window to ask her to

stop using her phone while driving in traffic in London. Metro News reports Hammond responded by parking her Audi TT and then “came out of nowhere” at Holloway, kicking her in the stomach, grabbing Holloway’s hair and biting off a piece of her ear. Holloway, bloodied and disturbed, didn’t realize part of her ear was missing until someone “picked it up off the floor.” In October, Hammond was convicted of causing grievous bodily harm with intent in Southwark Crown Court, and on Dec. 18, a judge sentenced her to five years in jail.

LOOKING FOR ALICE An unnamed man in Catherine Way, Batheaston, England, started digging a “very deep” hole in his yard weeks ago, but caused a neighborhood disruption when he climbed into the hole on Dec. 12 and refused to come out. Neighbor Dominic Denny told the Bath Chronicle that “it started at about 4 a.m. ... when there was a lot of shouting and screaming coming from the house opposite me. The young man’s family was outside trying to get him back in the house.” Emergency responders from a variety of services converged on the scene, even bringing a crane to lower into the hole to retrieve the man. A spokesperson for Avon and Somerset police later reported the incident was resolved and “the man got out of the hole of his own accord.”

… AND SPRINKLE SOME OF THAT GREEN STUFF ON TOP An employee at a TCBY yogurt shop in Matthews, North Carolina, got a surprise opening three packages delivered to the store—filled with $220,000 worth of marijuana. Upon further investigation, the store told WSOC-TV, the packages had been delivered mistakenly and were meant for a P.O. Box at the postal store next door. The packages’ origin is still unknown, the drugs and the recipient’s information have been turned over to cops, who report no arrests have been made.

weirdnewstips@amuniversal.com

Folio Weekly helps you connect with the paramour of your dreams. Go to folioweekly.com/i-saw-u.html, fill out the FREE form correctly (40 words or fewer, dammit) by 5 p.m. Friday (for the next Wednesday’s FW) – next stop: Bliss!

January is NATIONAL BATH SAFETY month, Jan. 3 is FESTIVAL OF SLEEP DAY and Jan. 6 is CUDDLE UP DAY, so the dedicated editorial nappers staffers here at Folio Weekly suggest you clean up your act (and your arse), get to the local home supply store, lurk in the bedding or bathtub aisle, and perhaps find that perfect human with whom to eternally spoon.

To snuggle with the one who’ll help clean places you can’t reach until it doesn’t matter any more: Go to folioweekly.com/i-saw-u.html and: One:

Write a short headline so the person recalls that dreamy moment, like: “ISU torn between a down comfortor or flannel sheets … I’ll help you decide.”

Two: Describe the person, like, “You: With a cartful of cleaning products, wearing the whitest shirt I’ve ever seen.”

Three: Describe yourself, like, “Me: Slightly grungy but still charming (I promise), despite greasy bangs.”

Four: Describe the moment, like, “Our eyes met; though your nose wrinkled a bit, your eyes sparkled as you stuffed the sheets in the cart, whispering ‘Shhhh!’”

Five: Meet, fall in love, get a Jacuzzi tub. No names, emails, websites, etc. And HEY, it’s 40 words or fewer. Get a love life with Folio Weekly ISUs! HOGWARTS EXPRESS You: Stunning smile, blonde highlights, left hand tattoo. Me: Long hair, glasses, buying brother Hedwig mug. Talked about your Universal experience. I’d be honored to wait in butter beer line with you. When: Dec. 24. Where: Ponte Vedra (Jax Beach) Books-A-Million. #1686-0103 HANDSOME ELEVATOR DUDE Rode in elevator with you, leaving. I remember your blue eyes.

We were with friends. I liked you. Let’s have a drink together. Me: tall(er)?, long hair, floral dress, combat boots. Think you wore a suit. When: Dec. 15. Where: River & Post. #1685-1227 BEAUTIFUL DRESS, STOCKINGS You: In cute dress, with bow pattern, black cute-patterned stockings. I sat two tables from you and noticed you walk by me to sit down. We briefly noticed each other as I walked out. When: Dec. 7. Where: JTB Chicken Salad Chick. #1683-1213 AIRPORT CUTIE You: Dark hair, slim, black shirt, gray pants, Nixon backpack. Me: Curvy, curly short hair, leggings, leather backpack. Went to Cali same day; back same day. Wanted convo; didn’t see you.

Captivating aura. Who/where are you? Don’t go!

When: Nov. 15. Where: Jax Intl. Airport. #1682-1206 IN PURGATORY WITHOUT YOU You: Working D&B’s counter; took time to find me a cool card. Me: Wearing Purgatory Co. shirt; agreed Purgatory’s a strange name for beautiful place.

I’d love to get lost in your eyes once more. When: Nov. 19. Where: Dave & Buster’s. #1681-1222 HAGAR CONCERT ENCOUNTER We met at Sammy Hagar, talked; you and bro came over. Looked for you again, didn’t find. Tried to find at Jags game; couldn’t. Meet sometime? I’d like that. My name starts with M; yours with T. When: Nov. 11. Where: St. Augustine Amphitheatre. #1680-1122 I THINK WE’RE ALONE NOW Me: Playing guitar, singing at Super Food. You: Entered alone, said you’d stay for one song, asked for my card, last name. I played “I Think We’re Alone Now.” I’m on Facebook. Should’ve asked your number. When: Nov. 1. Where: Super Food & Brew, Downtown. #1679-1108 MAN IN UNIFORM AT TARGET You: In Navy uniform, buying bleach at self-checkout. Me: Laughing at orange makeup with elderly mom.

ISU in parking lot, new black Ram. Severely regret not saying hello. This is worth trying. When: Oct. 31. Where: Target, Beach & Hodges. #1678-1108 SEEKING MY “WOOD” ISU bum a smoke after Florida-Georgia. Noticed your sad eyes, New Balances, tube socks. We talked. You: Frat boy, pleated shorts; name ends in “wood.” Me: blonde, dirty martini, looking for love in all the wrong places. When: Oct. 29. Where: Mellow Mushroom Avondale. #1677-1108 NURSE ME TO HEALTH You: Misplaced duck living in the inky waters of gator land. Me: Furry, educated, feral. Told me how you left your true love back home. I’d let you hold the leash if we go on walks. When: Oct. 10. Where: Aardwolf Brewery. #1676-1108 HEY WHOOPING COUGH You: Ryan Gosling has nothing on you, esp when it comes to good advice. You said try Robitussin–I’d rather try you.

Me: Getting over a cold, hope I didn’t ruin your movie. Meet for “coughee” sometime? When: Oct. 6. Where: “Blade Runner,” Sun-Ray. #1675-1011 I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU You: Walk your dog near my bush most nights. Thick guy, short legs I’d love to gnaw. Me: Watching you for months.

Tried popping out to say hi last week, but I scared you. Happens sometimes. When: Oct. 3. Where: Ortega. #1673-1011 THINGS I’D LIKE TO DO With you. Take you into the woods. No sleeping bag, no tent. Want to lie under the stars and watch a meteor shower while we talk about nothing and everything.

And wait for the rain. When: Aug. 26. Where: Shantytown. #1672-1004 YOU LOVE ART, MUSIC, NATURE I like slow cooking, good people. Want to stay up all night, play Nintendo, eat junk food, hike outside the city at sunrise; then be too busy to see you for a while. Or fish. When: Lomax Street. Where: June 11, 2010. #1671-1004 LIGHTNING STRIKE AT MARKET You: Gorgeous brunette, tank top, camo pants, heels, shopping with young son on Saturday. Butcher made you laugh. Me: Serious, cop-looking guy trying to make eye contact. I’d love to shop with you. When: Sept.

16. Where: Earth Fare, Atlantic Blvd. #1670-0920 JANUARY 3-9, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 29

CLASSIFIEDS HELP WANTED SENIOR COMPUTER SYSTEMS ANALYSTS (Multiple Positions) needed to gather syst. reqs and dsgn/install/ test/ monitor/ implem. biz syst. solutions using techn. such as Rally JIRA, JAVA, SQL, Visio, UML, API, SOAP, JCL, COBOL, DB2, Oracle, Toad, VBScript, Informatica.

Perform Quality Analysis using QA tools such as HP QC/ALM. Write EU docs/rpts/projections. Req’d: MS or equiv. in Comp. Sci/Apps, IT/IS, Engg (EE/CE/SW/ Elect.&Comm/ME or rltd) or rltd field plus 2 yrs exp., or alternatively, a BS or equiv. in one of the same or rltd

related fields plus 5 yrs of progressively responsible exp.

Must be willing to travel/relocate to unanticipated clt sites anywhere in the U.S. No Telecommuting Permitted.

Mail resumes Attn: CAJOB to Chadwick Riley Corp, 12443 San Jose Blvd., #402, Jacksonville FL 32223 LEAD SOFTWARE DVLPRS (Multiple Positions) needed to analyze IT proj. reqs & dsgn, dvlp, support apps using techn. such Hadoop, Hive, Pig, scoop, Spark, Kafka, Oozie, MLlib, MongoDB, Hbase, Neo4J, SAP HANA, Tableau, Python and Scala,AWS EC2, S3, EMR, RDS, ELB, Kinesis, Redshift, DynamoDB, Oracle, VISIO, Agile SCRUM, Cognos Rpting, Planning, TM1. Oversee prep archit. docs, High/low level & sys. dsgn docs, test plans, user manuals.

Req’d: MS or equiv. in Comp. Sci/Apps, IT/IS, Engg (EE/CE/SW/Elect.&Comm/ME or rltd) or rltd field plus 2 yrs exp., or alternatively, a BS or equiv. in one of the same or rltd fields plus 5 yrs of progressively responsible exp. Must be willing to travel/relocate to unanticipated clt sites anywhere in the U.S. No Telecommuting Permitted. Mail resumes to Chadwick Riley Corp, 12443 San Jose Blvd., #402, Jacksonville FL 32223 DIR, SERVICE LINE DELIVERY: assist w/ Electronic Medical Record Adoption Model (EMRAM) Div; provide bus develop’t support to comp manag’t; develop targeted practices aimed at locking in

30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 3-9, 2018

YOUR PORTAL TO REACHING 95,000+ READERS WEEKLY

calls/mtgs for division; assist clients w/ crafting their case studies that demonstrate clinical transformation as result of mature EMRAM; provide customers w/ clinical outcomes as result of investing in EMRAM; develop frameworks, methods & tools to support delivery of serv rel to EMRAM. Min. Req’ts: BS Pharmaceutical Sci, Healthcare Info Tech or rel field or for equiv plus 2 yrs rel healthcare info tech exp req’d. Send resume & cvr ltr to: Attn: HR, The HCI Group, 6440 Southpoint Parkway, Ste. 300, Jacksonville, FL 32216. No emails or tel. EOE. PAID IN ADVANCE! Make $1000 A Week Mailing Brochures From Home! No Experience Required. Helping home workers since 2001!

Genuine Opportunity. Start Immediately! www.AdvancedMailing.net (AAN CAN)(1/3/18)

SERVICES DISH NETWORK-SATELLITE TELEVISION SERVICES. Now Over 190 channels for ONLY $49.99/mo!

HBO-FREE for one year, FREE Installation, FREE Streaming, FREE HD. Add Internet for $14.95 a month.

1-800-373-6508 (AAN CAN)(1/10/17)

MISCELLANEOUS DENIED CREDIT?? Work to Repair Your Credit Report With The Trusted Leader in Credit Repair. Call

Lexington Law for a FREE credit report summary & credit repair consultation. 855-620-9426. John C. Heath, Attorney at Law, PLLC, dba Lexington Law Firm.

(AAN CAN)(1/31/18)

ADOPTION PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Call us first.

Living expenses, housing, medical, and ontinued support afterwards. Choose adoptive family of your choice. Call 24/7. 877-362-2401. (AAN CAN)(1/31/17)

HEALTH MAKE THE CALL TO START GETTING CLEAN TODAY. Free 24/7 Helpline for alcohol & drug addiction treatment. Get help! It is time to take your life back!

Call Now: 855-732-4139. (AAN CAN)(1/31/17) PENIS ENLARGEMENT PUMP. Get Stronger & Harder Erections Immediately. Gain 1-3 Inches Permanently & Safely. Guaranteed Results. FDA Licensed. Free Brochure: 1-800-354-3944 www.DrJoelKaplan.com (AAN CAN)(1/3/18)

DATING LIVELINKS - CHAT LINES. Flirt, chat and date!

Talk to sexy real singles in your area. Call now!

1-844-359-5773. (AAN CAN)(1/3/18)

ADULT HELP WANTED WORK IN ADULT FILMS or on live streaming websites from the convenience of your own home.

No experience, all types, sizes, & races. Call United Casting NOW! 212-726-2100 (AAN CAN)(1/3/17)

BOOKER’S

MAGIC

M.D. M.J.

The Marijuana Justice Act is the solution to the MASS INCARCERATION problem

OVERSET

BULLET

WITH STATE AFTER STATE EMBRACING EFFORTS TO decriminalize or outright legalize marijuana faster than the Trump campaign (allegedly) embraced literally any random person claiming to have dirt on Hillary Clinton, our country is slowly chipping away at the foundation stones of its mass incarceration nightmare, which has been built largely around nonviolent drug possession cases. These new laws have largely accomplished the goals stated by its advocates, namely reducing arrests and freeing up precious law enforcement resources for more pressing matters, like murder, human trafficking and money-laundering by elected officials.

The liberalization of America’s drug laws will save a lot of lives that might have otherwise been ruined by jail time, punitive probation rackets, or simply losing time spent with loved ones locked away, losses felt more acutely than usual during the holiday season. The lost productivity of able-bodied men and women whose employment prospects are diminished by their previous convictions, lost votes from millions of disenfranchised felons, violent crime committed by teenage boys whose fathers weren’t there to raise them—sociopolitical dynamics that are all expected to begin moving in the right direction, downward on a slippery slope greased-up by medical marijuana legislation.

But as we move toward a more sensible future, virtually nothing has been done to address the mistakes made in the past. No palliative measures have yet been mustered up on behalf of the millions of people who are either behind bars on marijuana charges right now, or who were years before. The fastest and most effective solution would be some kind of magic-bullet proposal that entails immediate release of all nonviolent pot possession cases in states that have decriminalized, as well as clearing the records of those bearing previous convictions, but it seems unlikely that any politician will even try such a thing, not if they want to live—I mean, keep their jobs.

One ray of hope, however, may come from Senator Cory Booker, the New Jersey Democrat widely touted as the leading candidate to be America’s second black president. (In retrospect, it seems clear now that Hillary’s failure to make Booker her running mate was a major mistake contributing to her eventual defeat, but that’s neither here nor there.)

Booker went live on Facebook on Dec. 18 to tout his Marijuana Justice Act, which he introduced on Aug. 1. He was joined by Ron Wyden (D-Oregon), the bill’s first co-sponsor. More than 100,000 people viewed it in just the first two days.

At its core, the Marijuana Justice Act seeks to “remove marijuana from the list of controlled substances, making it legal at the federal level,” according to the senator’s August press release.

“The bill is retroactive and would apply to those already serving time behind bars for marijuanarelated offenses, providing for a judge’s review of

marijuana sentences.” This is, in effect, the magic bullet solution mentioned earlier, except that magic isn’t real, and this legislation is.

“Descheduling marijuana and applying that change retroactively to people currently serving time for marijuana offenses is a necessary step in correcting this unjust system,” added Booker

in the release. “States have so far led the way in reforming our criminal justice system and it’s about time the federal government catches up and begins to assert leadership.”

Obviously, the bill’s chances of success are about as good as being named Omarosa’s replacement at the White House. (Spoiler alert: It’s not me.) With Republicans controlling both houses of Congress, it’s unlikely to even reach the floor for a vote. There is some cause for optimism, however, as some conservatives since the days of William Buckley have made the case against prohibition on libertarian

grounds; clearly all the dire predictions made about the drug war being a key incubator of narcoterrorism have proved 100 percent correct, leaving a trail of bodies from Vancouver to Veracruz.

Fiscal conservatives have also seen for themselves the massive economic impact in the relevant states, meaning that while Booker doesn’t have the votes in Washington at the moment, there are probably a handful of influential Republicans with whom he can find common ground on the issue.

(It’s anyone’s guess which Republican will be first to sign on as a co-sponsor, but if I were betting money on it, I’d lean toward Susan Collins, John McCain or maybe even Marco Rubio.) With Democrats prepping for the midterms like a line cook at Golden Corral on Thanksgiving, a power switch on Capitol Hill is entirely possible, in which case the MJA moves immediately to the nation’s frontburner. And let’s not forget that the president was once on a first-name basis with the owners of Studio 54, so who knows what could happen if the bill made it to a dry spot on his desk?

The best news of all? Booker’s conceptualization of the bill is based in meticulous research and consultation with activist groups around the country, which gives it broad-based appeal nationwide. Even if it never reaches the Senate floor, the substance is potent enough for enterprising pols on state and local levels to immediately begin bringing their own smaller-scale versions of it to a vote in their own communities, many of which (like Florida, for example) have already signaled their affinity with the spirit of such proposals by voting down pot laws around the country, which itself helped create the political climate that allowed Booker to take this stand. So, although the actual legislative battle is yet to be fought, in many ways he’s already won.

Shelton Hull mail@folioweekly.com

JANUARY 3-9, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 31