Folio Weekly 01/13/16

2 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 13-19, 2016

THIS WEEK // 1.13-19.16 // VOL. 29 ISSUE 42 COVER STORY

OLDEST VS. BOLDEST

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Is ST. AUGUSTINE cooler than JACKSONVILLE?

WORDS BY KEITH MARKS (ON BEHALF OF JACKSONVILLE) AND KARA POUND (ON BEHALF OF ST. AUGUSTINE) ILLUSTRATIONS BY SAMUEL SHAW

FEATURED ARTICLES

SCANDAL SHEET

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SIMPLE UNITY

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BY JOSUÉ CRUZ The success of Brooklyn’s UNITY PLAZA hinges on explaining its complex simplicity

BY AG GANCARSKI On Corrine Brown, Matt Shirk, and THE ART OF NARRATIVE

TRAFFICKING IN APATHY

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BY CLAIRE GOFORTH Jax City Council drags its feet on passing an ordinance that would create enforcement power for key provision of ANTI-HUMAN-TRAFFICKING STATUTE

COLUMNS + CALENDARS MAIL BRICKBATS & BOUQUETS FIGHTIN’ WORDS OUR PICKS STATE OF THE ARTS NEWS

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FILM MAGIC LANTERNS ARTS MUSIC LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR THE KNIFE

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DINING BITE-SIZED LOOKIN’ FOR LOVE CROSSWORD/ASTRO NOTW/I SAW U CLASSIFIEDS

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EDITORIAL

EDITOR • Matthew B. Shaw mshaw@folioweekly.com / ext. 115 SENIOR EDITOR • Marlene Dryden mdryden@folioweekly.com / ext. 131 A&E EDITOR • Daniel A. Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com / ext. 128 WRITERS-AT-LARGE Susan Cooper Eastman sceastman@folioweekly.com CARTOONIST • Tom Tomorrow CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Rob Brezsny, John E. Citrone, Brenton Crozier, Josue Cruz, Julie Delegal, Jordan Ferrell, AG Gancarski, Claire Goforth, Dan Hudak, Shelton Hull, MaryAnn Johanson, Keith Marks, Pat McLeod, Nick McGregor, Jeff Meyers, Greg Parlier, Kara Pound, Chuck Shepherd VIDEOGRAPHERS • Doug Lewis, Ron Perry

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THE MAIL DON’T SAY IT. DON’T… EVEN… SAY IT. RE: “PLEASE DON’T SAY THESE THINGS IN 2016,” BY MATTHEW B. SHAW, DEC. 30

WE WILL ABSOLUTELY PUBLISH YOUR LETTER Your list of words not to be used in 2016 included the word “craft.” After reading Folio Weekly Magazine, I opened up another local entertainment publication and there was an ad for “craft handmade pizza.” Well, even Domino’s makes pizzas by hand, so I guess they’re craft artisan pizza-makers as well.

One word that I would like to add is “absolutely.” This is often used by upscale restaurants when they take your order or any request, instead of a simple “yes,” “will do,” or “OK.” And now it has permeated down to fast casual restaurants. To resurrect a years-gone-by banned phrase: “Gag me with a spoon!”

This past year, I had a real cringe-worthy moment, when I ducked into an upscale eatery to see what all the hype was about. As I moved past the crowd in the lounge, I said to one of the hautee-haute guests “Excuse me” as I squeezed through. He responded by saying “Absolutely!”

Steve Crandall via email

ADD THESE, BY GOLLY! Here are two things. 1) Housemade: Not sure why this phrase imparts that a restaurant is full of itself, but it does. What was wrong with saying “homemade”? And when you think about it, why do you want to point out that you made the stuff? We expect a restaurant to make its own food, as opposed to opening a jar or microwaving a prepackaged bag o’ entree. Is everything else on the menu NOT housemade?

2) “Sat down with” as a way to say you interviewed someone. Did you also stand up or cross your legs with the person? A close runner-up is “caught up with.” It evokes an image of the hapless interviewee running away, but they don’t have a chance. No, you caught up with them, by golly! Just say “talked with” or “interviewed.”

Patricia Ponder via Facebook GOOD, GREAT, GRAND, WONDERFUL “Perfect.” What used to be “OK” or “fine” is now “perfect!”

Gail Roberts Levin via Facebook

LEND YOUR VOICE If you’d like to respond to something you read in the pages of Folio Weekly Magazine, please send an email (with your name, address, and phone number for verification purposes only) to mail@folioweekly.com, visit us at folioweekly.com, or follow us on Twitter or Facebook (@folioweekly) and join the conversation.

CONTRIBUTORS KEITH MARKS K

““Oldest vs. Boldest,” pg. 12

K Keith Marks has been writing for Folio Weekly Magazine since the late-aughts. A true jack of all M trades, aside from being a journalist whose work tr has h appeared in Ink19, Arbus, EU, and Revolver, Marks is also a musician, a massage therapist, a M producer of local cultural events, and the owner of a p healing center located in Riverside. After completing h a journalism degree at the University of North Florida, Marks earned a masters in teaching English F as a a second language (also at UNF) and then lived abroad for some years, including stints in places in a Europe, Asia, the Middle East, and Central America.

E For F this week’s cover story, “Oldest vs. Boldest: Is St. S Augustine Cooler than Jacksonville?” we asked Marks to argue on behalf of Jax, a city with which M he h is intimately familiar. Marks, born in New York, has lived in Jacksonville off and on since 1997. He currently lives in Riverside with his wife, Tehila, and two adorable children.

BRICKBATS + BOUQUETS BOUQUETS TO DR. MELISSA MURRAY, DR. JOHN FRYER, DR. JOHN LUCAS, AND DR. JUNGSU KIM The Mayo Clinic researchers have been awarded a cumulative $900,000 in grants from the Florida Department of Health, to be used for each individual’s research into Alzheimer’s disease.

BOUQUET TO GIL LANGLEY AND AMELIA ISLAND TOURIST & DEVELOPMENT COUNCIL STAFF Langley led the charge to transform downtown Fernandina Beach into a 19th-century Victorian village for the inaugural Dickens on Centre holiday experience during the first two weekends of December, with carolers, live music, food and yuletide decorations of the era. Participating publicans, kith and kin declared it a right bang-up event.

BRICKBATS TO FLORIDA HOUSE REPRESENTATIVE LAKE RAY The Congressman (R-Jacksonville) has proposed a bill that would allow the state of Florida to add additional background checks which could potentially block the entrance of refugees from war-torn countries, like Syria, into Florida, even though the federal government already has an exhaustive process for screening refugees in place.

KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? HOW ABOUT A PROVERBIAL BRICKBAT? Send your submissions to mail@folioweekly.com. Submissions should be a maxium of 50 words and directed toward a person, place, or topic of local interest.

4 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 13-19, 2016

FIGHTIN’ WORDS

SCANDAL SHEET

On Corrine Brown, Matt Shirk, Reggie Gaffney and the ART OF NARRATIVE

BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS, WE WILL HAVE clarity on the Corrine Brown situation — at least we hope we will. And we hope we’ll know why it is that she got served a subpoena at Bono’s last week, and what it all means.

At this writing, we really should know. I know that I’ve been asking all parties involved in this week’s rumorpalooza to come clean. I tried the nice guy approach to questions. Then I was a bit more brusque and direct.

Nothing. Nada. Zero.

So the media has had to piece it all together, like a jigsaw puzzle made of broken glass.

Matt Dixon, the former TimesUnion scribe who moved on to Politico, actually got someone in Brown’s Washington, D.C. office to confirm that there was, in fact, a subpoena served.

And a few T-U reporters, working every possible source, got part of the narrative from Siottis Jackson, a Brown operative who said the meeting was “disrupted” and “went to left field” when the agents walked in.

Yeah, I’m sure it did.

I got a bit more of the narrative from another operative, Mincy Pollock, who was there. They were talking about the Florida Health Solutions PAC that Pollock runs for Brown, a PAC designed to generate petitions to get Medicaid Expansion on the ballot.

They were talking about the slow count from Supervisors of Elections, delaying the petitions being registered, and potentially keeping the measure off the ballot.

I hope that strategy session came with a to-go plate, because the subpoena dropped and Brown World scrambled.

I asked for some real info; something to frame Brown’s side of the story. So did others.

And what was served?

Leftovers.

Cold meat, cold sides, warm tea with the ice cubes melted.

Brown’s office issued a statement calling this a “tangential investigation,” saying that her district is “under attack through the redistricting process, and now it is under siege by other forces,” adding that “these unfounded and politically motivated actions” will not “distract” her from her work.

I’ll tell you what: As scandal swirls and the back-channel narratives pile up and become more lurid, one might question the wisdom of handling her side of the narrative with a 100word statement on a PDF press release.

Because everyone is talking about this.

Everyone.

And because Brown didn’t deal with this straight up, leveling with the people of her district(s), the absolutely worst versions of the narrative are making the rounds.

She has not made an affirmative defense of herself. And neither have the many operatives on her payroll (rumor is, they may plan a press conference, but after this column goes to press). In fact, they claim that they don’t know what the subpoena is about, which only fans the flames of the narrative.

Brown has dealt with scandal before, such as in 1998, when her daughter got a Lexus from a polygamous West African millionaire as part of a quid pro quo. She claimed it was a campaign-related conspiracy against her then, too. She got through the election with that argument, but she wasn’t facing serious competition either, as she is with Tallahassee’s Al Lawson, a former State Senator, and perhaps Andrew Gillum, the popular Tallahassee mayor who may be the future of Florida’s Democratic Party.

Of course, Brown’s not the only #jaxpol source of scandal.

There’s Public Defender Matt Shirk, running for re-election even though a grand jury, investigating various sexual peckerdillos and improprieties involving sordid emails and “buddy system” showers with young women in his office, urged that Shirk not remain in office for “any longer than is absolutely necessary.”

But it’s OK now!

Shirk has found Jesus!

“I had a transformational personal encounter with Jesus Christ that changed my life on September 1st of 2013, which was right in the middle of all this controversy.

I had been running from God for 40 years of my life and he allowed me to come to the end of myself,” Shirk told WJCT’s Melissa Ross on Thursday’s “First Coast Connect,” adding that “we’re all sinful people.”

Incredible that Shirk was able to have a spiritual transformation while dealing with a Grand Jury inquest into his office practices.

The reality is this: If these politicians could be real about their issues, I wouldn’t have to write this column.

But they think voters are too stupid to notice.

And very often, the ballot proves them right.

A.G. Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com twitter/AGGancarski JANUARY 13-19, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5

THEATER EVA CHASE WOOD

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A veritable who’s who of the local arts scene have joined forces for the theatrical production, Eva Chase Wood. This collaboration among director Barbara Colaciello, playwrightmusician Jennifer Chase, actor Eva Matthews, and painter Tony Wood, explores ideas of comedy, comfort, conflict, and beauty that can be found in religion and art, with live music by Wright, Lauren Fincham, and Holly DeCardenas. 7 p.m. Friday, Jan. 15, and 2 p.m. Sunday, Jan. 17, Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, Riverside, $20, cummermuseum.org.

OUR PICKS

REASONS TO LEAVE THE HOUSE THIS WEEK

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DECONSTRUCTING DISNEY

FLY ON FREEBIRD LIVE FAREWELL Since 1999, Freebird Live has been a mainstay for locals and visitors alike to check out

HERITAGE

In the past few years, local experimental music firebrand and saxophone assassin Jamison Williams has been focusing his talents on performing interpretations of the vast Disney Songbook. In recent weeks, Williams has been touring his ass off and is playing two hometown gigs with toy pianist Elizabeth Baker, and percussionist Leo Suarez, to continue spreading his deconstructive take on all things Disney. 8 p.m. Saturday, Jan. 16, space:eight, St. Augustine, spaceeight.com; 6 p.m. Sunday, Jan. 17, Florida Mining Gallery, Southside, floridamininggallery.com.

concerts featuring a variety of musical genres in Northeast Florida. Sadly, the venue is closing its doors this week, but not before presenting some gigs worth going to, including performances by Scholars Word (Jan. 14), Karl Denson’s Tiny Universe, Lucky Costello, S.P.O.R.E. (Jan. 15), Greenhouse Lounge, Sidereal, Hours Eastly, N.W. Izzard (Jan. 16), and on closing night, Galactic (pictured) and The Record Company (Jan. 20). For more info and ticket prices, check our Live Music listings on page 28; freebirdlive.com.

The 29th annual Martin Luther King Jr. Breakfast honors the legacy of the Civil Rights and peace activist with a breakfast featuring hosts Tenikka Hughes (Action News Jax) and Shannon Ogden (First Coast News), Mayor Lenny Curry, presentations by the Tomorrow’s Leaders Youth Winners, keynote speaker Sampson Davis, M.D., a performance by Jacksonville Children’s Chorus, and breakfast. 8 a.m. Friday, Jan. 15, Prime Osborn Convention Center, Downtown, $40, eventbrite.com.

JAMISON WILLIAMS

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. BREAKFAST

ART KRYSTEN CUNNINGHAM In recent years, artist Krysten Cunningham has been

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creating sculptures that explore woven textile as a sculptural object. Working within that same approach of concept/insight, Cunningham’s current exhibit, Layout, probes the relationship between text and textile, textile and tool, a kind of meeting of the narrative and tactile.

The opening reception is held 5-7 p.m. Friday, Jan. 15, Crisp-Ellert Art Museum, Flagler College, St. Augustine; the exhibit displays through Feb. 27, flagler.edu/news-events/crisp-ellert-art-museum.

JANUARY 13-19, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7

STATE OF THE ARTS

ASHES TO ASHES One Sparks’ Elton Rivas is out. Did he JUMP SHIP or WALK THE PLANK?

IT FINALLY HAPPENED. ELTON RIVAS, ONE SPARK wunderkind, mastermind and CEO, took the plunge on Monday and very publically tendered his resignation from the troubled festival. Or got fired. Or was asked to resign.

That the pissing match regarding Rivas’ departure lacks as little concerted aim and as much haphazard splatter as a Gate station men’s room should come as no surprise to anyone. After all, both the organization and the festival have been characterized over the years by Rivas’ unilateral bombast, followed by explanatory and expository damage control and, ultimately, finished off with a bright yellow glaze of overpromise.

How it really went down is an oeuvre that likely will be left to the juiciest of imaginings, but we do know this: In his release regarding his departure, which hit the Florida TimesUnion’s news stream first early Monday, Rivas said he had “chosen to resign from One Spark.” Without the context of a later release from the remaining One Spark camp stating Rivas had “tendered his resignation at the request of the board,” clearly the intent of his announcement was to bird-dog the spin while attempting to give the appearance that he was still in the power position, which should also come as no surprise to those who’ve followed this meltdown.

The other tactic at play with Rivas’ premature announcement was to grab the spotlight and shake the thunder out of One Spark’s announcement about the restructuring of the festival and its corporate composition, which included word of Rivas’ devestment as a mere footnote.

Speculation about “the world’s largest crowdfunding festival” has been simmering in the background for months, since the majority of the staff was somewhat unceremoniously relieved of their posts over the summer in the wake of a ballyhooed come-to-Jesus meeting with Shad Khan that eventually lead to Khan divesting himself of pretty much any association with One Spark and its self-populating cadre of ancillary money pits, such as the ill-fated KYN “incubator” project.

But regardless of the fate of the festival, one thing has been pretty predictable: Whether by his own hand or someone else’s (you decide if you’re Team Elton or Team Peter), Rivas’ time was limited. In other words, even [insert name of sightless creature of your choice here] coulda seen this coming a mile away.

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The shenanigans surrounding the announcement of Rivas’ departure are equally predictable; that’s how it goes with these guys. But someone should have told him that you don’t make the big bucks because you’re talented. You don’t make the big bucks because you know how to appear powerful and perfect.

And certainly you don’t make the big bucks by not finishing what you start.

You make the big bucks for being the person who stands tall when things are crumbling, who protects those following you before you protect yourself, and most especially, for having the idea that solves the problems, not just the idea that starts the ball rolling with someone else’s money.

Leaders — real leaders, good leaders, successful leaders — lead. They don’t just write checks and declare victory.

Fortunately for the festival and for Northeast Florida, there’s a very teachable moment or two here now, and plenty coming up in the near future, where One Spark and some other equally very important, civically-motivated, growth-oriented, positive initiatives are concerned. First and foremost, the moral to this story is the importance of leadership over salesmanship, of character over finances, of farming over investing, and of doing over talking.

But perhaps the biggest lesson here extols the value of organic diversity over the potential for taking credit, of listening to the rumble rather than rumbling forward. The most egregious flaw of One Spark has always been the fact that it operates as an island. The One Spark camp has seemed to have a chip on its shoulder all along, determined to show us all that it was going to be successful no matter what the people wanted, and that when that happened, they would be the ones responsible.

As admirable a sentiment as it is to want to be the team that saves the city, keeping sight of the big goal always has to supercede the need for authorship.

With Rivas at the helm, it’s been easy to write off the oranizational control issues and the brownie-hounding as the twaddling of one little Nero and the byproduct of youthful exuberance. Now we’ll get to see if the One Spark we’ve all wanted — a more open, more democratic One Spark, one that values the concept of Solidarity within its community — is in the offing now that Rivas has been deposed.

Chaz. Bäck cback@folioweekly.com

COMMUNITY NEWS

The success of Brooklyn’s UNITY PLAZA hinges on explaining its complex simplicity

SIMPLE

UNITY UNITY PLAZA, THE APPROXIMATELY 2.5-ACRE space that once was a nondescript stormwater retention pond, located on the corner of Riverside Avenue and Forest Street, has rolled out the welcome mat and announced its mission to serve the people of Jacksonville through activities focused on wellness, community, and the performing arts. Yet the greatest challenge to achieving said mission will require that folks know just who can use the space and when. The answer is simple, according to Unity Plaza Executive Director Jen Jones: Anyone can use it at any time.

That could still confuse many who may first focus on the 285 apartments that comprise 220 Riverside Apartments and encircle Unity Plaza. Jones is quick to clarify that the Plaza is not owned by the apartment building, but that the building developers, NAI Hallmark Partners, donated the land in order to create a public park … one that is privately operated. The apartment building has since been sold to a national holding company listed on and traded on NASDAQ. The retail space is, indeed, managed by NAI Hallmark Partners. Most of it is. One space belongs to Unity Plaza, a 501(c)3 organization.

Oh, and it is all located in Brooklyn. Just north of Riverside. Clear as mud.

OK, wait … quickly, from the beginning.

The corner that is 220-330 Riverside Avenue was once a neighborhood that had deteriorated, its dilapidated buildings and vacant lots sat dormant for quite a while. In 1990, city documents showed that many of the condemned structures were to be demolished in order to eliminate a backlog.

In 2005, NAI Hallmark Partners, with the city’s blessing, began planning the redevelopment of the area, crafting a vision for a mixed-use space. Three mayors later, NAI Hallmark Partners gifted the land that is now the Plaza to both the city and a newly formed nonprofit organization that would administer the area and provide programming. That organization took on the name of Unity Plaza and, after one more mayoral cycle through city government, the space officially opened in September 2015.

Unity Plaza is touted as a private-public partnership because NAI Hallmark Partners received a tax rebate grant up to $3.7 million over a span of 20 years, but the majority of the daily operation expenditures are from private donations and a Common Area Maintenance (CAM) fee paid by businesses in the groundlevel retail spaces.

Once again for clarity: Jacksonville-based NAI Hallmark Partners own and operate the ground-floor retail spaces that currently house the restaurants, such as Sbraga & Company, with more to come this year. The Tennessee-based Mid-America Apartment Communities owns and leases the apartment units at 220 Riverside. Next, the nonprofit organization Unity Plaza manages and programs activities at the Plaza. Finally, the Plaza belongs to all of Jacksonville.

“We want Jacksonville to program the site,” Jones says, “but it takes time for people to know that this space is available to them to do so.” Jones also shares that it was just as difficult and time-consuming getting city government to understand what exactly was going on at Unity Plaza as it was to get the word out to the community. “It really is here for the common good. There is no agenda or motive other than becoming sustainable and beneficial,” Jones adds.

The model for the Plaza was borrowed from that of other cities, like Portland, Oregon, which placed a high emphasis on overall city wellness. For Jones, launching and operating Unity Plaza is part-and-parcel of what she calls a cultural revolution here in Jacksonville. She and her staff focus on the three-pronged approach of community, wellness and entertainment.

For the community, the Plaza has been the launching point of a number of holiday festivities and celebrations. As stated earlier, one ground-floor retail space was gifted in unison with the land to serve as both an office space for Plaza staff and a community center where folks can gather and hold events. A book cart based on the arching logo of the organization sits outside the space.

Yoga and spiritual alignment workshops cover the wellness aspect so far; some offerings

Unity Plaza Executive Director Jen Jones has her hands full with the new venue, a publicprivate partnership with the city. are fee-based, others are free to the community.

As for the entertainment, the Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra and local music and dance groups have performed on the Plaza’s temporary stage — a shipping container that converts into a performance area. The addition of a band shell is in the works, to be built adjacent to the retention pond.

All of these plans cost money. “What we get from the CAM is helpful, but it amounts to a few nickels in the grand scheme of costs associated with operation,” Jones says. In order to cover the price, the organization is embarking on a capital campaign in 2016 in order to ensure sustainability. While it’s not clear exactly how much funding will be required, sustaining a staff and the infrastructure needed to operate requires more than a simple donation box at the Plaza’s entrance, which is why no such item exists.

When asked if the organization and space may have launched prematurely, Jones responds that she is “grateful that we were able to launch after the Great Recession. Do I wish that there were details that would have been better coordinated? Yes.” Her statement and tone are careful not to stir up past difficulties and clashes that may have been speedbumps on the road to bring about the Plaza.

For Jones, this is a step in the best direction. “Every neighborhood in Jacksonville should have a Unity Plaza. The timing could not be any more pertinent,” Jones shares in the same breath in which she mentions the upgraded Wi-Fi soon to connect Unity Plaza.

As for the current and only Unity Plaza in Jacksonville, Jones reiterates that it belongs to every resident in Jacksonville. The tagline from that 1989 baseball movie — if you build it — comes to mind, and now the rest is up to the community.

Josué Cruz mail@folioweekly.com JANUARY 13-19, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9

COMMUNITY NEWS Jax City Council drags its feet on passing an ordinance that would create enforcement power for key provision of ANTI-HUMAN-TRAFFICKING STATUTE

TRAFFICKING

IN APATHY photo by Jason Behnken/Tampa Tribune

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THOUGH IT’S BEEN WELL OVER A CENTURY since the Emancipation Proclamation made slavery illegal in America, that pernicious evil is alive and well in the United States, and in Florida in particular: The state is consistently ranked third in the nation for cases of human trafficking.

As part of the state government’s ongoing efforts to curb ± and eventually end — this disturbing trend, legislation went into effect on Jan. 1 requiring emergency rooms and public facilities operated by the Department of Transportation — including rest areas, railway stations, airports and weigh stations — to post public awareness signs bearing information about indicators of human trafficking and the National Human Trafficking Resource Center’s hotline, which potential victims of, and witnesses to, human trafficking can contact to seek help and other resources. (The organization reports that in 2014 alone, the hotline received nearly 1,500 calls originating in Florida and 364 reported cases of human trafficking in the state.) Violations of are punishable by a fine of $500 (flsenate.gov/ Laws/Statutes/2015/787.29).

Human trafficking occurs in towns of all sizes across the nation and Jacksonville is no different. In 2013, the Jacksonville Sheriff ’s Office, working with the FBI, reported 40 arrests related to human trafficking; 50 victims were identified, seven of whom were children.

Yet local officials have not passed an ordinance that would enforce the requirement that these signs be placed in establishments well-known for disguising their human trafficking operations as legitimate business practices: massage parlors and massage spas, specifically those that are not operated by medical professionals, as well as adult entertainment establishments and strip clubs.

Though the legislation technically does require these types of establishments to post the signs, it’s up to municipalities to pass an ordinance to enable local enforcement of the legislation. Pinellas County passed such an ordinance in September; Orange County did so in November. Without the power of

enforcement, these places are left to their own discretion regarding posting the signs.

It’s no secret that prostitution often occurs, or is facilitated, at strip clubs, adult entertainment venues and massage parlors.

In recent years, it has become common knowledge that some prostitutes are victims, forced into the trade by traffickers who use violence, coercion, drugs and threats to control them.

Polaris Project, a nonprofit organization that works to eradicate human trafficking, reports that there are 9,000 illicit massage parlors in the U.S. and that between 2007 and 2015, there was a total of 2,000 cases of human trafficking in massage parlors reported to the NHRTC hotline (888-373-7888) and Polaris’ BeFree texting helpline (233733).

As of noon on Jan. 7, there were 39 ads for body rubs in the adult section of Jacksonville’s backpage.com; rubmaps.com, a site that provides “erotic massage parlor reviews,” lists 24 massage parlors in the area that potentially provide a “rub and a tug,” industry parlance for a massage that consists of, or ends with, a hand job, a blow job, and/ or sexual intercourse. There is no question that at least some of the sex workers in the establishments or these ads are victims of human trafficking, enduring unimaginable horrors on a daily basis.

According to Polaris’ website, “Women in brothels disguised as massage businesses typically live on-site, where they are coerced into providing commercial sex to six to 10 men a day, seven days a week.”

Sadly, because the bonds of modern-day slavery are typically figurative rather than literal, it is difficult to identify victims.

“They don’t realize that they’re victims so, because they don’t see themselves as victims, they themselves aren’t going to report that they are victims … all of the cases that are found in Florida have been because someone saw something,” says Giselle Rodriguez, outreach coordinator for the Florida Coalition Against Human Trafficking.

Law enforcement can’t possibly track every Internet ad or visit every massage parlor or

TOP: Signs such as these, in the dressing rooms at Tampa’s Mons Venus strip club, will soon be showing up in Duval County’s adultoriented businesses.

ABOVE: These metal outdoor signs posted by the state of Florida are being installed in state-funded public spaces, such as rest stops and the various Welcome Centers along the Florida state line. strip club to check for signs of trafficking, so identifying victims often requires information and cooperation from victims and the public.

“The community is basically the eyes and ears for law enforcements to identify human trafficking cases,” says Rodriguez.

This is why the state legislature passed, and Governor Rick Scott signed, legislation requiring the posting of these signs in areas known to be frequented by traffickers and their victims. It’s up to Jacksonville’s City Council to give it teeth.

Claire Goforth mail@folioweekly.com _____________________________________ For more information about human trafficking, go to polarisproject.org, stophumantrafficking.org and traffickingresourcecenter.org/state/florida.

JANUARY 13-19, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11

WORDS TEAM ST. AUGUSTINE

KARA POND

ILLUSTRATIONS BY

SAMUEL SHAW

WORDS: TEAM JACKSONVILLE

KEITH MARKS

EDITOR’S NOTE: This feature, which seeks to compare two unique Northeast Florida cities on the rise in the categories of Food and Drink, Nightlife, Diversity, Politics, and Arts, was written by Folio Weekly Magazine contributors who reside in the areas on whose behalf they are arguing. The categories of comparison were culled from hundreds of think pieces and chosen based on research related to the question “What makes a cool city?” The opinions expressed are those of the writers.

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TEAM ST. AUGUSTINE MANIFESTO There’s something to be said for being a big fish in a small pond. And that’s just part of the reason why St. Augustine is waaaaaaay cooler than Jacksonville.

We’ve got history. We’ve got killer live music venues.

We’ve got farm-to-table food, craft cocktails and interesting personalities. There’s a sense of camaraderie and cohesion in the Nation’s Oldest City with which Jacksonville simply can’t compete.

St. Augustine recently celebrated its 450th birthday.

It was reported that nearly 65,000 people came to town that Saturday in September for musical guests Emmylou Harris and Rodney Crowell, as well as JJ Grey, Justin Townes Earle and Nicki Bluhm & the Gramblers.

And, like any proud St. Augustinian, I was there, standing at the foot of the Bridge of Lions with my cluster of friends and taking it all in.

So without further ado, I hereby give you just a few of the reasons why Oldest beats Boldest.

TEAM JAX MANIFESTO Really? Comparing St. Augustine to Jacksonville is like comparing New York to Jersey City — we’re WAAAAAAAY cooler. St. Augustine (yawn), we love heading down to your quaint, little villa on a sleepy, quiet afternoon but, Shad Khan be damned, we’ve got Northeast Florida’s mojo. Hands down.

First, we’s all too familiar with your cheerleading about being the Nation’s oldest city, but let’s get something straight — we were here first. The Huguenots landed and built Fort Caroline two years before the Spanish arrived in that inlet of yours. And if it weren’t for those bloodthirsty conquistadors, those poor, massacred French might have left something more lasting than just (the remnants of) a fort.

And don’t play that historical trump card too quickly, because Jax has some serious cultural history of its own. There’s LaVilla (“The Harlem of the South”), Henry Klutho’s architecture, The Florida Theatre (on the National Register of Historic Places), and was the home of a once-thriving pre-Hollywood movie studio boom.

But enough history. Let’s roll up our sleeves and talk about why DUUUUUUUUVAL owns the present, and will continue to do so well into the future, as the place to be in Northeast Florida.

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FOOD AND DRINK (OLDEST)

Sure, Jacksonville is way winning in the beer department, but we’re making a name for ourselves as one of the state’s top craft cocktail scenes. Ice Plant Bar is at the epicenter of it all. We’ve also got a craft distillery — appropriately named St. Augustine Distillery — that produces small batch rum, gin, vodka and bourbon. And that is just the beginning. We’re going to see many more small bars popping up around town that focus on farm-to-glass cocktails using freshly squeezed juices, intricate syrups and some of the world’s top spirits. Take Cesar Diaz, for example. Diaz, one of the lead bartenders at Ice Plant, and two other local entrepreneurs, recently opened up Odd Birds on Charlotte Street. “This bar was born with the idea of being a platform not only to promote the craft but also raise awareness of the bartender profession,” says Diaz.

Sure, you Jacksonvillians have your hipster bars and pickleback shots, but we’ve got class. We’ve also got some quite impressive eateries that have built their menus on fresh, local and sustainable cooking, including The Floridian, Blue Hen, Present Moment Café and Carnivore on Cathedral Place.

FOOD AND DRINK (BOLDEST)

St. Augustine, you’ve got some spots, we’ll admit it, but once you burn through a weekend of Present Moment, The Floridian, Casa Maya, and a few more culinary beacons, you’ve worked your way through the majority of the Ancient City’s stellar eateries.

A short list off the top of my head: Duval/Jacksonville can roll out Moxie, Taverna, Black Sheep, and Orsay for those with a bent toward finer dining.

Southern Roots, Community Loaves, and Knead offer conscious, casual dining.

Burrito Gallery, Moon River, TacoLu, Chomp Chomp, and Mossfire are local favorites. And there’s some incredible ethnic dining as well: Nile Ethiopian, Hon Korean, and India’s Restaurant.

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In no way is this list exhaustive, and I wish we had more space for all of our many favorites.

I’m just illustrating a point: We in the largest city by area in the contiguous United States have got it covered when people talk about the greatest cuisine in all of Northeast Florida.

And we’re not talking about just restaurants.

The North Florida Food Summit, GastroFest, Riverside Arts Market & Farmers Row, Beaches Green Market, The Legends Dinner Series, and the breweries — oh, the breweries!

We love you, St. Auggie, and when we’re on those getaway weekends from the big city, we’ll come down and have dinner one night. But when locals and visitors alike want a virtually never-ending supply of unique, local, conscious, ethnic, and delicious cuisine, we’ll be the ones ringing the dinner bell, thank you. ____________________________________

DIVERSITY (OLDEST)

When speaking of St. Augustine, history and diversity are indelibly linked. And it’s rarely been pretty. The area’s long, storied and colorful history dates way back, even before Pedro Menendez and his posse landed at the (alleged) Fountain of Youth. There were the Timucua, Native American people virtually wiped out by Europeans who considered themselves the first humans on the land. Ahem.

There’s also the Spanish, who attacked the French who attacked the English who attacked the Spanish (not necessarily in that exact order). And who could forget the Minorcans, Spanish descendants and some of the original St. Augustinians, as well as the influx over the past few decades of those damn Yankee carpetbaggers bringing their road rage and hard work ethic from the Northeast (yours truly included)?

Every November, the Lincolnville Festival celebrates the neighborhood founded in 1866 by freed slaves, which would eventually contribute to the city’s diverse musical heritage and play a crucial role in the battle for equal rights in the turbulent ’60s.

Though it’s a part of history that the city has, in the past, tried to sweep under the rug, during the Civil Rights era, St. Augustine occupied an essential place in the battle against intolerance and racism. After being arrested in the city for trying to eat dinner in

a “whites only” restaurant on June 11, 1964, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and the Rev. Ralph Abernathy addressed the movement … from the St. Augustine jail.

DIVERSITY (BOLDEST)

Jacksonville is the crossroads where I-10 meets I-95, where the St. Johns meets the Atlantic Ocean, an international port city with an international airport. If we’re talking cultural diversity, let’s talk World of Nations, World Affairs Council, and the fact that Jacksonville is home to thousands of refugees from all over the world who’ve found a stable life in Duval.

Or we can talk about the diversity in terms of being a major metropolitan city with all the trimmings of an active urban area alongside more than 80,000 acres of parks (Side note: The city of Jacksonville operates the largest urban park system in the United States).

Or let’s talk about diversity in terms of personal interest. Sure, we have the Jaguars and the PGA, but we also have roller derby, rugby (Go Axemen!), Dragon Boats, and our very own North American Soccer League team, The Armada. We have worldclass cultural institutions in The Cummer, Museum of Contemporary Art, and the Museum of Science & History. And, in terms of independently run arts and cultural institutions, there’s CoRK Arts District, Jacksonville Dance Theater, The 5 & Dime, The Arts Center, and a plethora of local arts entrepreneurs putting Jacksonville on the regional and national maps.

Jacksonville is teeming with diversity. ____________________________________

NIGHTLIFE (OLDEST)

There’s always something to do in St. Augustine, including plenty of free events like Concerts in the Plaza, Music by the Sea, First Friday Art Walk and Uptown Saturday Night. Jax has its precious (?) Jaguars and some Ancient City dwellers even root for that team, but fancy professional sports teams don’t impress us too much.

We’d prefer to spend our evenings at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, listening to nationally touring acts like My Morning Jacket, Alan Jackson, Wilco or Old Crow Medicine Show. We’ve got a few smaller venues, too. Shanghai Nobby’s, the hub for

a tight-knit punk scene, also hosts a wide variety of genres from garage rock to folk.

There’s Café Eleven, as well as the Colonial Quarter, a downtown outdoor venue that in 2015 showcased a slew of bands from The Black Lillies to Dan Andriano. We’re also home to a ton of trivia nights, latenight restaurants, the ever-popular Nights of Lights and the Conch House’s infamous Reggae Sunday.

NIGHTLIFE (BOLDEST)

We love a diverse nightlife, and a night on the town means different things to different people — from down-and-dirty dive bars with their own distinctive ambiance to high-quality entertainment and fine dining establishments, complete with ferns embellished with tiny sparkling lights — and everything in between.

For a night out, it starts with picking the neighborhood. Most locals hit any or all of the three Beaches, Historic San Marco, Downtown, or somewhere in Riverside (5 Points and King Street for serious drinkers, Avondale for families and a more relaxed environment).

Sun-Ray Cinema, The Florida Theatre, Players by the Sea, The Ritz Theater & Museum, Jacoby Symphony Hall, Moran Theater, Alhambra Theatre & Dining, and Veterans Memorial Arena are on the short list of where locals and tourists find a wide range of independent film, professional and community theater, and touring national and international artists.

Jack Rabbits in San Marco and The Elbow District in Downtown are where independent live music rocks the urban core. 1904 Music Hall, Burro Bar, and other indie venues in the area host live music nearly every night of the week. Black Sheep offers a rooftop bar, The Parlour is our very own speakeasy with creative cocktails, The Candy Apple Café & Sweet Pete’s offer up sweet inspiration, Sherwood’s and Wall Street serve powerful drinks in dimly lit, dive-bar settings, and Lynch’s Irish Pub and Cuba Libre offer dancing and drinking with international flair.

We’ve got a drinking problem, and we’re not in therapy for it.

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POLITICAL LANDSCAPE (OLDEST)

The politics surrounding the City of St. Augustine are much more streamlined than that clusterfunk in Jacksonville. The City of Jacksonville has 19 councilmembers, while St. Augustine has just five on its council, which includes a mayor and vice mayor. Sure, like any city in the South, we’ve got plenty of that good-ol’-boy mentality, which tends to curb progress, but that’s fairly standard operating procedure throughout the Bible Belt. We’re also living proof that virtually anyone can attain public office in the Nation’s Oldest City. Take our current mayor, Nancy Shaver, a political outsider who beat out incumbent and well-connected local attorney Joe Boles.

Shaver’s underdog story is irrefutable evidence that, in St. Augustine, political outsiders can and do have a voice, too.

Not sure we can say the same about Jax and its ex-Republican-Party-of-Florida-chairturned-mayor.

POLITICAL LANDSCAPE (BOLDEST)

OK, admittedly, we suck in this category.

While many cities in America are electing progressive city councils and mayors taking “bold” leadership in tackling local problems while thinking globally, we’re still thinking in terms of strip malls and new housing developments, more roadways with no thought to public transportation, parking or biking infrastructure, and no clear ideas on how to move forward with our erupting education system, the environment, or public health ... But how ’bout them Jags? Errr, what’s the next topic?

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As Bill Bishop learned the hard way, you either pander to party lines (and favors) or you don’t get elected. St. Augustine, we salute you for your ability to elect dynamic candidates more interested in solving issues than playing good-ol’-boy politics. Let us know when you’re ready to consolidate. ____________________________________

ARTS (OLDEST)

Sure, you have the upper hand with CoRK. And on the museum front, you’ve got a head start with Cummer and MOCA. But what we lack in high-class exhibition halls, we make up for with a close-knit group of ragtag artists who support each other. We’ve also got an economy heavily dependent on tourism. And you know what tourism means, don’t you?

Money in the bank. And artists are usually in need of money.

Look at long-standing St. Augustine galleries that have survived the economic peaks and valleys, like Cutter & Cutter Fine Art, Peter O’Neill Gallery and Simple Gestures, an eclectic array of local artisans and crafty goods on nearly every block just over the Bridge of Lions. We’ve also got the St. Augustine Art Association, which has been promoting arts in the city since 1924.

Still not convinced that St. Augustine has staying power as a top-tier arts city? Then perhaps you should dig up Henry Flagler and ask him a little something about those 79 Louis Comfort Tiffany stained glass windows still intact at Flagler College’s dining room. Or perhaps you’d be more satisfied perusing the priceless art and antiquities at the Lightner Museum. You can keep CoRK and its gaggle of hipsters photographing half-naked women with over-the-top kohl-lined eyes, while sipping PBRs. They’ll certainly come and go — it’s what hipsters do. Our arts scene has real staying power.

ARTS (BOLDEST)

St. Augustine, you have galleries full of landscape paintings, seascape paintings and crafts. How cute.

Meanwhile, it’d be difficult to name myriad notable arts venues in Jacksonville without resorting to an exhaustive list.

Visual art your thing? Sure, we have MOCA and Cummer as our flagship museums, but the indie arts galleries are killing it as well, with J. Johnson, Southlight, The Art Center, and CoRK regularly hosting engaging, meaningful shows. The Cultural Council has made “Art in Public Places” a priority, and murals, installations, and sculptures dot the landscape of Jacksonville thanks to those efforts.

Let’s not forget about the dance and theater movements quickly gaining popularity in the city. Florida Ballet, Alhambra, Players by the Sea, 5 & Dime, Stage Aurora, Jacksonville Dance Theater, Braided Light, Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre, FSCJ Artist Series, and Theatre Jax — the longest-running community theater in the nation — all continue to be essential in our arts scene. The Jacksonville Symphony, The Florida Theatre, Jazz Fest, Friday Musicale, Riverside Fine Arts Series, The Ritz, Beaches Fine Arts Series, and the numerous independent music venues supporting live music keep our heads nodding and hips rocking. This is only the tip of the iceberg. St. Augustine, you have some charming relics among your creaky buildings and crumbling streets, but when it comes to a vibrant arts scene, we’re the Renaissance and you’re … paint-by-numbers. ____________________________________

INNOVATION (OLDEST)

Let’s table the innovation talk for just a moment — which I will readily admit St. Augustine is lacking, due to limited public transportation and archaic technology.

We’ll see any claims to innovation the “Bold City” has — dubious in my opinion — and raise you our remarkable history, which undoubtedly inspires the city’s residents’ keen sense of craftsmanship. In other words, rather than spend our time and money “disrupting” perfectly useful ways of life to create new shit, many residents of the

Nation’s Oldest City would prefer to salvage some vintage objet d’art. For instance, consider the turn-of-the-century ice plant building that houses both Ice Plant Bar and St. Augustine Distillery, and take note of landmarks like the St. Augustine Lighthouse (1874), Alligator Farm Zoological Park (1893), Villa Zorayda (1883), Old Jail (1891), Oldest Wooden School House (1716) and dozens of other erstwhile cobblestone-y haunts and historical structures. Keep your JTA Skyway. We’ll rely on horse-drawn carriages, pedicabs and those damn Segways. The Ancient City is undeniably damn old. And that’s just the way we like it.

INNOVATION (BOLDEST)

Rather than offer old-timey ice cream parlors and horse buggies that leave squishy surprises for flip-flop-wearing tourists and locals, we think bigger. In the last decade, thousands of start-ups here have drawn national recognition (I won’t even mention One Spark, as I’m sure you’re already familiar with it).

We’re an inexpensive, urban setting that’s attracting young minds and big money from all around this great nation of ours.

In addition, we have major research universities and world-class medical centers inducing the best and brightest minds from all over the globe to visit and settle here. Yes, we have our problems with infrastructure, planning, transportation, and perpetual road work, but we don’t view those challenges as insurmountable problems holding us back.

They’re temporary hiccups, and we’re stoked to have so many young, creative, forwardthinking minds solving these problems.

At the moment, the proverbial simmering water is just beginning to bubble. We’re growing a culture from the inside out and earning our stripes as the Bold New City of the South, Where Florida Begins, in the River City.

St. Augustine, we love you. We really do.

We just don’t have much in common. The two of us are like apples and oranges. We’ll own our bold — you can have the old. FWM

JANUARY 13-19, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17

A+E // FILM: MAGIC LANTERNS

THE CORPSES OF YESTERYEAR

Kirkman and Romero were schooled on an entire generation of previous TALES OF THE UNDEAD

L

ooking forward to the upcoming season of The Walking Dead, I thought about the evolution of zombies in film from their first appearance in 1932’s White Zombie to today’s reanimated cannibalistic cadavers haunting the big screens, the boob tube, and soon even Jane Austen in the upcoming Pride and Prejudice … and Zombies.

Recently out on Blu-ray, the granddaddy of them all — White Zombie starring Bela Lugosi — is dreadful stuff indeed. Though the film had some popular success upon its initial release in the early ’30s, a time when audiences thrilled to the great Universal monsters like Frankenstein, Dracula and the Mummy, contemporary critics mostly agreed in their disdain. A gap of 80-plus years on, and White Zombie still fares no better — even on Blu-ray.

The only acceptable elements of the film today (or back then, for that matter) are the occasionally impressive sets (borrowed from better Universal films) and one early scene in which Lugosi’s satanic eyes are superimposed on the screen. The rest of it — plot, screenplay, and especially acting — is simply execrable, as ludicrous as the much-maligned Plan 9 from Outer Space, but not as entertaining.

Still, White Zombie is the species’ cinematic figurehead, inspiring at least one sequel (Revolt of the Zombies, 1936) and setting the template for celluloid zombies (there were quite a few, mostly bad) for the next 35 years. And then a young independent filmmaker from Pittsburgh, George Romero, made Night of the Living Dead (1968), turning the plodding blank-eyed victims of voodoo magic into the infected munching corpses that have eaten at the modern imagination ever since.

Curiously, Romero never used the word “zombie” in his film nor does The Walking Dead, but their millions of fans still know a zombie when they see one, by any other name or not (to paraphrase the Bard).

While today’s zombie films rely heavily on special effects, big budgets, and gore for maximum impact (for better and worse), there’s one example from the golden days of yesteryear (pre-Romero) when imagination and design crafted a masterpiece with a minimum of resources, at least by today’s standards. Released in 1943 during WWII, I Walked with a Zombie delivers the promise

ABOVE: Jacques Tourneur’s I Walked with a Zombie (1943); RIGHT: Horror legend Bela Lugosi in White Zombie (1932). of its clever title and constitutes the second of two superior horror films director Jacques Tourneur made with producer Val Lewton.

The first was the previous year’s Cat People.

Buoyed by good scripts and fine performances from the mostly B-grade casts, both films depend largely on lighting, shadows, and inventive camera angles for the desired effect. Unlike Cat People, though, Walked is more ambivalent about the nature of its supernatural elements. Whether it’s actually the dead doing the walking in the second film is ultimately beside the point.

What we experience is a moody evocative family drama laced with voodoo, romance, and tragedy against the backdrop of the historical slave trade.

Frances Dee (wife of Joel McCrea) plays Betsy, a Canadian nurse hired to care for the near-catatonic wife of sugar planter Paul (Tom Conway, younger brother of George Sanders) in the West Indies. The place is laced with history, domestic and otherwise. Paul’s brother is in love with his corpse-like sister-in-law; and, oddly, the figurehead from a slave ship, pierced with arrows, decorates the courtyard.

And then there’s the threat of voodoo, summoning the characters, who are

FILM LISTINGS FILM RATINGS

DONALD FAGEN DONALD SUTHERLAND DONALD FAISON DONALD TRUMP

**** ***@ **@@ *@@@

SCREENINGS AROUND TOWN

SUN-RAY CINEMA Star Wars The Force Awakens and The Revenant screen at 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. Anomalisa starts Jan. 22.

THE CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ Life and The End of the Tour are currently screening. Dumb and Dumber screens at noon and 6 p.m. Jan. 14. The award-winning film Lamb, about a man’s efforts to help a young girl,

18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 13-19, 2016

starts Jan. 15. 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com.

IMAX THEATER Star Wars The Force Awakens and Secret Ocean screen at World Golf Hall of Fame IMAX Theater, St. Johns, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com.

NOW SHOWING

13 HOURS: THE SECRET SOLDIERS OF BENGHAZI Rated R Has Hillary signed off on this? A U.S. compound in Libya is attacked and one of the American ambassadors is killed.

A military security team tries to keep themselves and the personnel around them alive. Costars Toby Stephens, John Krasinski – who’s so good you won’t see Jim Halpert at all – Freddie Stroma and Pablo Schreiber.

compelled to answer. Director Tourneur traces the details of their various journeys with some of the creepier, more memorable scenes from mid-’40s cinema.

Tourneur went on to direct the film noir masterpiece Out of the Past (1946) and the British horror classic Night of the Demon (1967), but I Walked with a Zombie doesn’t lurk in their shadows — it’s a very sinister stroll all on its own.

Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com THE BIG SHORT **** Rated R This takes the mortgage crisis that precipitated the fallout and breaks it into small, digestible pieces easy to comprehend. There are strong performances by A-list actors, creative flourishes and a few squirmy laughs. Based on Michael Lewis’ nonfiction bestseller, the story focuses on three groups who see the meltdown looming, even though the mortgage industry was flourishing. In 2005, San Jose money manager Michael Burry (Christian Bale) looked where others weren’t and saw adjustable rate mortgages were going to price regular folks out of their homes in a few years. Wall Street banker Jared Vennett (Ryan Gosling) enlists hot-headed hedge fund manager Mark Baum (Steve Carell) and his team so they can all make millions. Upstart money managers Jamie Shipley (Finn Wittrock) and Charlie Geller (John Magaro) bring in former banker Ben Rickert (Brad Pitt) for financial assistance and guidance. The groups meld and rake it in. — Dan Hudak CAROL ***G Rated R Writer-director Todd Haynes sets this moving love story with a backdrop of ’50s America – a repressive, male-dominated time of intolerance and exclusion. Cate Blanchett is Carol, mother

FILM LISTINGS to Rindy (Sadie Heim) but bored housewife to Harge (Kyle Chandler), who she’s looking forward to divorcing. It’s Christmas time, so Carol goes into New York to shop. In a department store, she meets Therese (Rooney Mara), a shy, waifish clerk and aspiring photographer. Therese’s boyfriend, Richard (Jake Lacy), wants to take her to Europe and marry her, yet she hesitates. Something’s not right. As she spends time with Carol, she figures out why.

The film is based on Patricia Highsmith’s novel The Price of Salt, which she wrote under a pseudonym in 1952 because of the taboo content. Through the eyes of Haynes, the story transforms into a stellar motion picture that tells its tale more through actions and mannerisms than it does through dialog. Carol is a patient, poetic and beautiful work that’s not to be missed. — DH CONCUSSION Rated PG-13 Will Smith is Dr. Bennett Omalu, a forensic neuropathologist who discovers an anomaly in a pro football player’s brain during an autopsy. He encounters seemingly insurmountable obstacles when he tries to get the truth about the violence and damage associated with concussions suffered by playing contact sports. Costars Alec Baldwin, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Paul Reiser and Arliss Howard.

CREED Rated PG-13 Apollo Creed’s son Adonis (Michael B. Jordan) thinks he wants to be a boxer like his father, whom he never knew. So he looks for that lovable palooka Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone) in Philly. Costars Phylicia Rashad, Max Kellerman, Jim Lampley, Elvis Grant and Tessa Thompson.

DADDY’S HOME Rated PG-13 The comedy pits Will Ferrell against Mark Wahlberg with borderline amusing results. Ferrell is regular guy Brad, new stepdad to Dylan and Megan (Owen Vaccaro, Scarlett Estevez), kids of his new wife Sara (Linda Cardellini). Wahlberg is their biological dad Dusty, a ripped, motorcycle-riding, black-T-shirt-wearing hunk competing with Brad for the kids’ affections. Or is he? Costars Thomas Haden Church, Bobby Cannavale and Hannibal Buress.

THE FOREST Rated PG-13 There’s a place in Japan where folks go to kill themselves. Right off the bat, you know this is one peppy movie! Costars Natalie Dormer, Taylor Kinney and Eoin Macken; directed by Jason Zada.

THE HATEFUL EIGHT Rated R Quentin Tarantino’s movie is about really bad guys with no moral boundaries. What a switch for him, huh? This one’s way out West, in the effing dead of winter, snow piled two miles high, in a cabin where desperate folks take refuge. Among these stellar individuals are ruthless bounty hunters, criminals and killers, steeped in typical Tarantino violence. Samuel L. Jackson is awesome.

Costars Kurt Russell, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Michael Masden, Bruce Dern, Belinda Owino and Channing EEEE! Tatum.

JOY **@@ Rated PG-13 Jennifer Lawrence stars as Joy, a single mother whose circumstances have

showing support. Director David O. Russell captures the plight of the small business owner well. — DH THE MASKED SAINT Rated PG-13 A professional wrestler becomes a preacher in a small town, where he moonlights as a masked vigilante fighting injustice. Costars Brett Granstaff, T.J. McGibbon, Diahann Carroll and Roddy Piper.

NORM OF THE NORTH Rated PG This opens Jan. 15, so we couldn’t get much info. Seems that somehow, Norm – who’s a lovable polar bear – and his lemming friends have travelled to the Big Apple instead of theoir usual habitat, the Arctic Circle. Norm is soon swept up in the marketing side of a large corporation that’s involved with profiting from that same frozen land. Voices by Rob Schneider, Heather Graham, Ken Jeong, Bill Nighy, Colm Meany and Loretta Devine.

POINT BREAK Rated PG-13 Yes, my God, this is a remake of that eye-candy brain-pudding 1991 crap. Anyway, tyro FBI agent Utah (Luke Bracey) goes undercover against extremesports-dude-pro-thief Bodhi (Edgar Ramirez). There are some nice waves, and snowboarding, rock climbing and some lunatics doing that wingsuit fl ying – which is just a death wish as far as we can tell – and lots of things blowing up.

THE REVENANT **G@ Rated R “As long as you can still grab a breath, you fight,” Hugh Glass (Leonardo DiCaprio) tells his ailing son Hawk (Forrest Goodluck) at the start of director Alejandro González Iñárritu’s film. The acting and cinematography are great, but there’s not one scene, moment, or even a hint of anything like happiness. Based on a true story, the whole thing’s a glum exercise in survival that only gets worse. DiCaprio is fur trapper Hugh, on a hunting trip under constant threat of attack by natives and French hunters. It’s the 1820s in a lawless land, and fur pelts are currency, which are easily, and often, stolen. Separated from the others, Hugh is mauled by a grizzly bear in a frightening, brutal and horrifying scene. His group tends to him, but it slows them down.

Believing Hugh is near death, the captain (Domhnall Gleeson) asks Chip (Will Poulter) and Fitzgerald (Tom Hardy) to stay with young Hawk and dying Hugh – and give the man a proper burial. Fitzgerald panics, kills Hawk and buries Hugh alive, then splits to catch up with the rest. What follows is nearly two hours of Hugh struggling to find the bastards who wronged him and exact his revenge. — DH RIDE ALONG 2 Rated PG-13 The guys are back! Ben (Kevin Hart) is about to get married, which will officially make James (Ice Cube) his brother-in-law. They’re trying to stop the flow of drugs up the East Coast by attacking it at the source – Miami.

Violent hilarity ensues. Costars Tika Sumpter, Benjamin Bratt, Olivia Munn, Ken Jeong, Bruce McGill, and Tyrese Gibson.

Rumor has it that Rick Ross, Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh and T.I. have cameos.

STAR WARS THE FORCE AWAKENS **G@ Rated PG-13 You know director J.J. Abrams’ Star Wars: The Force Awakens is in trouble from the opening action scene, a standard compound shootout that lacks the originality that so infused the saga begun in 1983. In fact, all of the action

John Krasinski faces bad guys with guns and his own personal crisis in 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi, in theaters now. inhibited her personal growth. She lives with her mother Terry (Virginia Madsen) and grandmother Mimi (Diane Ladd), and as the film begins, her father Rudy (Robert De Niro) breaks up with his girlfriend and decides to move into Joy’s basement, which happens to be where Joy’s ex-husband Tony (Édgar Ramírez) currently resides. Only Joy’s best friend from childhood, Jackie (Dascha Polanco), is a reliable confidante in her chaotic daily life. Joy has always been smart and creative, but she’s never been able to realize her dreams or ideas. Then she invents the “Miracle Mop,” a self-wringing, washable contraption unlike any mop ever slung around a kitchen floor. She goes to her father’s new girlfriend, Trudy (Isabella Rossellini), for financial help, but is unprepared for the hardships she will face – concept design, production, intellectual property, etc. Her family has a terrible way of

and visual effects are surprisingly mediocre – there’s nothing here that makes us say “wow.” It’s a letdown, considering how creative the movies have been. There are some notable surprises and good laughs (including genuinely funny moments from Han and the BB8), and some familiar faces pop up – it’s like seeing forgotten pals from high school at your 30th reunion. Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill), the last living Jedi, has vanished. Villainous First Order wants Luke dead to reclaim the Galaxy from the Republic. General Leia Organa (Carrie Fisher), leader of the Resistance for the Republic, sends a pilot (Oscar Isaac) to the planet Jakku to find Luke’s hideout. The heroes are Rey (Daisy Ridley), a local on Jakku, with droid BB8, and ex-stormtrooper Finn (John Boyega). Han Solo (Harrison Ford) and Chewbacca (Peter Mayhew) join the fight. Costars Adam Driver, Domhnall Gleeson, Andy Serkis, Anthony Daniels, Kenny Baker, Gwendoline Christie and Lupita Nyong’o. — DH

JANUARY 13-19, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 19

The team at Ray Ware Hardware knows how to meet your needs with style and precision.

Left to Right: Vonda Walker, Karah Juergens, Jason Kuder, Barbara Denny, Dennis Miller

Premium Hardware with Expert Service RAY WARE HARDWARE 4048 Herschel St., Avondale 904.389.6659 • RayWare.com ________________________________________

R

ay Ware Hardware, a fourth generation family business specializing in decorative cabinet and door hardware, is moving into new territory: decorative plumbing fixtures.

“We felt the time was right for us to expand,” said Ray Ware President Jason Kuder. “It’s been something we’ve been wanting to get involved in for a long time and we finally have all the pieces in place.”

Adding premium plumbing fixtures that include bathroom and kitchen faucets, sinks, and toilets, now allows Ray Ware customers to rely on one supplier to help them with all their Decorative Hardware, plumbing and lighting needs.

Regardless the product, Ray Ware’s longstanding success can be attributed to their highly experienced staff, including Showroom Manager, Vonda Walker, who has 28 years of hardware and fixture experience.

“When anyone walks through the door, our selections can be overwhelming so we walk them through the process from A to Z to find out exactly what they want and how we can fill their needs,” says Walker. “We are a friendly, customer-oriented staff and I they can definitely see the difference.”

20 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 13-19, 2016

Having watched his father operate the business from a young age, Kuder understands who his customers are and how to accommodate them.

“We don’t expect somebody who’s coming in to purchase something for their home to be knowledgeable about the industry,” he says.

“Our job is to help point them in the right direction so they leave completely satisfied with their purchase.”

That kind of service is reflected in Ray Ware’s customers. “We get a lot of repeat business from customers and we’re competitive with the Internet,” says Kuder. “We have to be.”

While their Ortega location makes it a perfect place for the local homeowner to get high quality fixtures, Ray Ware’s business isn’t just confined to Northeast Florida. Generations of business means good relationships with contractors working on projects across the country. Whether it’s for the local shopper looking to jumpstart a DIY home improvement project, or a regional contractor seeking out doors, frames and hardware for contract, the folks at Ray Ware know even the smallest detail can make the biggest difference.

“We have a huge section of cabinet knobs,” says Kuder proudly, “probably the best selection in the Southeast.”

Local businesses ar high-impact media to h customers searching for to shop for the best Our quarterly, glovebo shopping guide is p PRINT | WEB | MOBILE FOLIO MEDIA HOUSE. A full-page or half-page ad space for an article FOLIO MEDIA HOUSE m your business. Togethe ADVERTISING DEADLINE:

JANUARY 20

To schedule your article and ad, c Call/Text Publisher Sam T

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FEBRUARY 3

contact your Account Manager or Taylor at (904) 860-2465.

Outdoor Gear & Apparel that’s an Adventure Matt Hite

BLACK CREEK OUTFITTERS Matt Hite, Paddle Sports Manager 10051 Skinner Lake Dr., Southside 904.645.7003 • BlackCreekOutfitters.com __________________________________________ Describe Black Creek Outfitters in your own words.

We’re an outdoor outfitter store that has an emphasis on paddle sports. We provide high quality customer service and a positive experience; where we carry kayaks, paddle boards, outdoor sportswear and yoga apparel, hiking and camping gear, and many other fun outdoor products.

What sets Black Creek Outfitters apart from other outdoor equipment stores?

Besides our high quality products and customer service, we have an extremely knowledgeable staff who are, themselves, users of all this gear. In addition, the shop is located on a lake where you can try anything out! I don’t know any other stores that can provide that kind of service and experience.

What are some of the best sellers at Black Creek?

Hobie kayaks because of their efficient pedal-drive system — you can pedal hands free instead of paddle.

Starboard and BIC SUP paddle boards because they are light, durable, and most importantly built with a quality construction. Clothing and foot wear like Olukai, Chaco, Outdoor Research, and Patagonia are a just few that stand out of the many brands we sell.

Black Creek Outfitters doesn’t just sell gear, right? You teach classes, too?

Yes, we do a lot of kayaking classes and even more with stand up paddle boarding. We have scheduled classes every weekend! Information on all our activities can be found our website.

Fresher Groceries Make for Healthier Eating NATIVE SUN 1585 N. Third St., Jax Beach • 458-1390 11030 Baymeadows Rd. • 260-2791 10000 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin • 260-6950 NativeSunJax.com __________________________________________

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ative Sun, Jacksonville’s homegrown natural grocer, recently opened their third location in Jacksonville Beach. Like its Baymeadows Road and San Jose Boulevard counterparts, the new store specializes in natural and organic food sourced from local vendors in and around Jacksonville.

Native Sun attributes its longevity and success to its efforts to deliver food standards that go above and beyond what competitors are willing to do. Their goal is to bring uncompromised quality and flavor to the grocery experience while balancing cost and value. They strive to deliver products that are organic, non-GMO, and free of artificial growth hormones, colors, flavors, sweeteners, and antibiotics.

The Native Sun deli emphasizes healthy convenience with fresh grab-and-go offerings including organic juices and smoothies, gluten-free baked goods, salads, wraps, and sandwiches as well as delicious hot meals perfect for quick lunches and dinners. For Owner Aaron Gottlieb, Native Sun’s prepared foods are all about “fresh items that are simple and delicious and meet the needs of customers regardless of their food choices.”

100% organic produce, grass-fed meats, sustainable seafood, premium health and beauty care, and the best local products available make Native Sun the perfect place to feed your passion for healthy living.

JANUARY 13-19, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 21

A+E // ARTS

TROUBLE IN

AMBLER HUTCHINSON sheds some light on the darkness of mental illness in her new exhibit

T

here is a certain level of empowerment in walking through pain. In her latest show, artist Ambler Hutchinson has created a travelogue that chronicles her personal experiences living with mental illness. Using both 2-D work and found objects, Visual Artifacts Part Two — One Mind Two Realities features 80 pieces that convey Hutchinson’s journey through the literal highs and lows of bipolar II disorder. Over the course of the show, an installation-turned-microcosm of the artist’s mind, one moves from darkness to hope. At the end of the experience, we are left with empathy, a better understanding, and possibly even identification; all noble goals of visual art regardless of one’s own mental wellness.

Folio Weekly Magazine interviewed Hutchinson via email; she described the impetus of the show, removing stigma, and giving others with similar conditions a voice.

MIND

issues and live with shame and isolation due to the negative stigma attached to mental illness. My intention is to give a voice to others who struggle, to increase awareness — which ideally will help in diminishing stigma — and to offer hope.

How old were you when you were diagnosed with bipolar II disorder? Were there certain feelings or events in particular that you think were strong “red flags” indicating you needed help?

I was in my early teens when I knew something was wrong. It was clear to me that I was viewing the world very differently from my friends. The world went indescribably dark. I became depressed, felt alienated and isolated. There were no words for what I was experiencing. I did not ask for help; I just shut down. When I was younger, looking at art, especially pieces that revealed psychological discomfort (i.e., Frida Kahlo) was a big comfort to me. It made me feel less alone in my experience. I now find comfort in the creative process and greatly appreciate other artists’ works that reference the challenges of being human.

Folio Weekly Magazine: To what does the show’s title, Visual Artifacts Part Two — One Mind Two Realities, allude?

Ambler Hutchinson: I had a show at Florida Mining Gallery two years ago, Visual Artifacts: Part One. An excerpt from Your exhibit is described as a kind of journey my artist statement describes the overall that the viewer/audience moves through; theme of my work: “My art pieces are visual traveling from depression into hopefulness. metaphors for psychological discomfort.

Why did you choose to make this exhibit a I wish to communicate psychological certain narrative rather than a collection of spaces that are unseen, unrelated works? sometimes hidden, I was looking through AMBLER HUTCHINSON and yet always present. all my work at the VISUAL ARTIFACTS PART TWO – I am speaking about beginning of the year ONE MIND TWO REALITIES. an internal human and realized that there Opening reception 7 p.m. experience that resides was a connection and Jan. 15, Florida Mining Gallery, Southside.

The exhibit displays through mid-March. in the dark hallways and a story in all these floridamininggallery.com corners of the mind. seemingly unrelated People arrive at these portfolios. I feel that a emotional and psychological spaces from visual narrative describing the descent into vastly different experiences. My intention nightmarish depression with anxiety and the is to convey the complexity of being human emergence with hope has more impact than and reveal the existence of beauty within showing individual pieces with no context. brokenness.” Visual Artifacts: Part Two — One Mind Two Realities adds another Some of the images that you sent me seem to layer. It’s a visual journey of what it’s like offer a kind of ambiguity. In one, the figure to descend into a nightmarish depression on the rooftop could be readying to either and emerge from this experience with hope. take flight or plunge to death. The faces of The Twins appear sad yet also somehow I have not felt comfortable sharing this “knowing.” Are these dualities put in place aspect of my work until now. One Mind Two or is this merely my read on those pieces?

Realities is referencing how mental illness/ Yes, I think there are dualities in some of depression/anxiety can change one’s entire my work. Also, there is in many pieces a view of reality. Sylvia Plath describes it as the visual juxtaposition of two worlds, hope and bell jar descending over her. Even though it hopelessness. However, I work intuitively is just a wall of glass, it instantly disconnects and often the underlying concepts that fuel her from others. My main image for the the work remain hidden, even to me, until I show refers to this experience. have some distance from a piece. I also like people to bring their own interpretation Since the exhibit takes an unflinching look because I think many of my pieces address at exploring your own mental states, have shared experiences of being human. you had any fear about how people will receive, or even judge, your deliberate Do you feel a sustainable sense of wellness attempts at being so vulnerable? from creating art, perhaps even closure?

The decision to show my art in this context I do not create art just because it is my was a very difficult one. I let go of worrying passion. I do it because I have to. It’s my way about negative responses when I committed of staying afloat. So yes, it is cathartic and to doing the show. I ultimately chose to tell helps provide a sense of peace. my story because many people suffer with depression, anxiety and other mental health Mental illness might’ve hindered your 22 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 13-19, 2016

efforts as an artist in regard to negative feelings, but have you noticed any benefits those emotions brought to the experience of making art?

I am not sure if my creativity partially stems from my mental illness or if my creativity is my way of coping with my mental illness. So it’s hard to say what has hindered or helped me in making art.

Tell me about the organizations sponsoring the show. What specifically do they do and how did those relationships happen?

My sponsors, JosephCare, OCD Jacksonville and TapeSouth (in memory of Kathy Shane) are involved in improving and/or supporting mental health. Their work nationally and locally directly impacts the health and well-being of those suffering with mental illness. I am greatly appreciative of their help in making this show a possibility. Representatives from these organizations, as well as NAMI and Baptist Health, will be at the show opening night to provide information about treatment possibilities.

How much acceptance do you think you have with mental illness?

I have never had a problem accepting it in others and having tremendous compassion for their struggles. However, it has taken me a long time to accept it in myself.

Are there certain clichés or stereotypes about mental illness that irk you?

Yes. I have noticed that if someone has a mental health diagnosis, he/ she is instantly perceived in a onedimensional way. Meaning, if one shows any irrational or unpleasant emotion, it is instantly perceived as reflective of the mental illness.

This results in feeling invalidated in having a “normal” human emotion.

Top: Man on Building: Untitled, 24 x 12, archival pigment print, acrylic paint, bees wax, wood panel Bottom: Figure in Box: Untitled, 24 x20, archival pigment print, vintage frame

While there is admittedly the cliché of the “tortured artist,” it also seems like the arts have truly put a face on mental illness and helped lessen some of the stigma. What else do you think can be done?

I think if people who are suffering start sharing more openly, it will become obvious that this is a significant issue that needs to

be addressed. The problem is that the stigma and the isolating nature of mental illnesses cause people to retreat and not seek help. I think there are a lot more people suffering with these issues than we know.

Daniel A. Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com

+ EVENTS ARTS ARTS + EVENTS 1:15 p.m.; Sunday matinees are brunch at noon, show at 2 p.m.; with Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menu (Brunswick stew, fried chicken, collards, corn muffins, honey bun cake); Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $35-$59 plus tax, 641-1212, alhambrajax.com.

CLASSICAL, CHOIR & JAZZ

Jazz saxophonist JON IRABAGON performs at The Ritz Theatre & Museum Jan. 15, Downtown.

PERFORMANCE

EVA CHASE WOOD The collaboration among director Barbara Colaciello, playwright-musician Jennifer Chase, actor Eva Matthews, and painter Tony Wood explores ideas of comedy, comfort, conflict, and beauty found in religion and art, with live music by Wright, Lauren Fincham, and Holly DeCardenas, is staged 7 p.m. Jan. 15 and 2 p.m. Jan. 17 at the Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, $20, cummermuseum.org.

42nd STREET This classic musical comedy, which sets the American Dream in the heart of Broadway, features much-loved tunes like “We’re in the Money” and “I Only Have Eyes For You,” 7:30 p.m. Jan. 12-14, 8 p.m. Jan. 15, 2 and 8 p.m. Jan. 16, and 1:30 and 7 p.m. Jan. 17 at Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 Water St., Downtown, 442-2929, $38.50-$88.50, artistseriesjax. org.

AMATEUR NIGHT SEMI FINALS Musicians, singers, comedians and poets participate in an audience-judged competition based on Amateur Night at The Apollo, held 7:30 p.m. Jan. 17 at The Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, $9, 807-2010.

COTTON ALLEY Players by the Sea presents the world premiere of Olivia Gowan’s humorous play, about the relationship between a 19-year-old and a wayward, damaged mother, 8 p.m.

Jan. 15 and 16 at 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach, 249-0289, $23; $20 seniors, military, students; through Jan. 30, playersbythesea.org.

WRONG TURN AT LUNGFISH Orange Park Community Theatre stages Garry Marshall and Lowell Ganz’s comedy, about a blind and bitter college professor who encounters a streetwise young woman who volunteers to read to him in the hospital, 8 p.m. Jan. 15 and 16 and 3 p.m. Jan. 17 at 2900 Moody Ave., Orange Park, 276-2599, $18; through Jan. 31, opct.info.

NEXT STAGE The 5 & Dime presents the latest installment of its quarterly event that offers an opportunity for local performance and projection artists, poets, and playwrights to polish their creative craft, 2 p.m. Jan. 17 at Main Public Library, 303 N. Laura St., Downtown; to apply to participate, go to the5anddime.org/next-stage.

THE LIGHT IN THE PIAZZA Theatre Jacksonville stages this musical, about a woman and her emotionally troubled young daughter traveling through Italy in the ’60s, 8 p.m. Jan. 15 and 16 at 2032 San Marco Blvd., San Marco, 396-4425, $25; through Jan. 31, theatrejax.com.

HONKY TONK ANGELS This country-flavored musical, about a young girl who follows her dreams of being a singer and heads to Nashville, is staged through Feb. 7. Tue.-Sun. dinner 6 p.m., show 8 p.m.; Saturday matinees are brunch at 11 a.m., show at

SOPRANO AT UNF Soprano Simone Osborne performs at 7:30 p.m. Jan. 14 at University of North Florida’s Recital Hall, 1 UNF Dr., Southside, 620-2878, unf.edu/coas/music/Calendar.aspx.

YO-YO MA Amelia Island Chamber Music Festival presents a concert featuring the much-esteemed multiple-Grammy-Awardwinning cellist at 7:30 p.m. Jan. 14 at First Baptist Church, 1600 S. Eighth St., Fernandina Beach, $100-$150, ameliaislandchambermusicfestival.com.

POULENC TRIO The internationally acclaimed wind-piano trio performs at 7:30 p.m. Jan. 16 at Flagler College’s Lewis Auditorium, 14 Granada St., St. Augustine, 797-2800, $35, emmaconcerts.com.

JON IRABAGON Jazz saxophonist Irabagon performs, 8 p.m. Jan. 15 at The Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 807-2010, $14-$24, ritzjacksonville.com.

CAROLE KING SONGBOOK Vocalist Liz Callaway and the Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra perform the songs of the Grammy Awardwinning singer-songwriter, including “It’s Too Late,” “You’ve Got a Friend,” and “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?” at 11 a.m. and 8 p.m. Jan. 15 and 8 p.m. Jan. 16 at Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Jacoby Symphony Hall, Downtown, 354-5547, $25-$74, jaxsymphony.org.

THE ART OF WALT DISNEY: Interpretations from the Disney Songbook Experimental saxophonist Jamison Williams, toy pianist Elizabeth Baker, and percussionist Leo Suarez perform an extensive musical deconstructive core medley spanning more than 75 years of Disney film classics, 8 p.m. Jan. 16 at space:eight, 228 W. King St., St. Augustine, 829-2838; the trio also performs 6 p.m. Jan. 17 at Florida Mining Gallery, 5300 Shad Rd., Southside, 535-7252.

WILD, WILD WEST Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra presents a familygeared, cowboy-themed concert, 3 p.m. Jan. 17 at T-U Center’s Jacoby Symphony Hall, Downtown, 354-5547, $10-$26, jaxsymphony.org.

COMEDY

GRANDMA LEE Everybody’s favorite funny granny – and a local talent who hit the Big Time – and finalist of America’s Got Talent!, delights at 7:30 p.m. Jan. 14 and 7:30 and 9:45 p.m.

Jan. 15 and 16 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, 292-4242, $15-$18, comedyzone.com.

HOT POTATO COMEDY HOUR Local comics appear 9 p.m. Jan. 18 and every Mon. at rain dogs., 1045 Park St., Riverside, free, 379-4969.

CALLS & WORKSHOPS

2016 ART & COMMUNITY GRANTS NOW OPEN The Community Foundation for Northeast Florida has posted grant applications for categories including Early Childhood Nonprofit Organizations, Individual Artists (Art Ventures), Small Arts Organizations (Art Ventures), and Visual Arts in St. Augustine (Dr. JoAnn Crisp-Ellert Fund). Deadlines vary; for more info and to apply, go to jaxcf.org/apply.

(NEU) SONICS MUSIC INITIATIVE Experimental saxophonist-composer Jamison Williams offers a six-week course of workshops with local and visiting improv musician-instructors, at Karpeles Manuscript Library Museum, 101 W. First St., Downtown; sessions begin Jan. 24; neusonics.org.

ARTS IN THE PARK ENTRIES The annual limited, juried April event held at Atlantic Beach’s Johansen Park seeks applications; coab.us.

ART WALKS & MARKETS

WEDNESDAY MARKET Produce, arts, crafts, food, live music, 8 a.m.-12:30 p.m.

Jan. 13, St. Johns Pier Park, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 347-8007, thecivicassociation.org.

COMMUNITY FARMERS & ART MARKET Art, crafts, jewelry, 4-7 p.m. Jan. 13, 4300 St. Johns Ave., Riverside, 607-9935.

WINTER RAM Some of Riverside Arts Market’s artists, food artists and local, seasonal produce are featured, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. Jan. 16 and every Sat. through Feb. 26 under the Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com.

MUSEUMS

BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY PARK 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657, beachesmuseum. org. Naval Station Mayport: Guardian of the Southern Frontier Exhibit runs through Feb. 12.

CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummermuseum.org. Eva Chase Wood is staged at 7 p.m. Jan. 15; tickets $20. The exhibit Conservation, Beautification, and a City Plan: Ninah

JANUARY 13-19, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23

+ EVENTS ARTS ARTS + EVENTS Cummer and the Establishment of Jacksonville Parks is on display through Nov. 27. Julien De Casablanca: The Outings Project is on display through May 1. Rockwell Kent: The Shakespeare Portfolio exhibits through May 15. David Hayes: The Sentinel Series, sculptures of geometrically abstract, organic forms, displays through Oct. 2.

MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911, mocajacksonville.com. Project Atrium: Ian Johnston, Johnston’s Fish Tales, themes of consumption and material waste, exhibits through Feb. 28. Smoke and Mirrors: Sculpture & The Imaginary, 3D and installation works by sculptors Chul Hyun Ahn, James Clar, Patrick Jacobs, Ken Matsubara, Daniel Rozin, and Kathleen Vance, exhibits through Jan. 24. Allegory of Fortune: Photographs by Amanda Rosenblatt, through March 27.

THE RITZ THEATRE & MUSEUM 829 N. Davis St., 807-2010, ritzjacksonville.com. The exhibit Black Wings: American Dreams of Flight is on display through Jan. 17.

GALLERIES

ARCHWAY GALLERY & FRAMING 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-2222, archwaygalleryandframing.com. Christmas in Florida is on display through mid-January.

CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530, flagler.edu/newsevents/crisp-ellert-art-museum. The opening reception for the exhibit Layout, featuring recent work by sculptor Krysten Cunningham, is held 5-7 p.m. Jan. 15; the exhibit is on display through Feb. 27.

FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928, firststreetgalleryart.com. The exhibit Mermaid Magic is on display through April 5.

FLORIDA MINING GALLERY 5300 Shad Rd., Southside, 535-7252, floridamininggallery.com. The opening reception for the exhibit Visual Artifacts Part Two – One Mind Two Realities, featuring recent works by multimedia artist Ambler Hutchinson, is held 7 p.m. Jan. 15; the exhibit is on display through March. See Folio Weekly Magazine’s A&E editor Daniel A. Brown’s story on page 22.

J. JOHNSON GALLERY 177 Fourth Ave. N., Jax Beach, 435-3200, jjohnsongallery. com. Christina Hope’s underwater photography, Water Angels, is on display through Jan. 21.

KARPELES MANUSCRIPT LIBRARY MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992, rain.org/~karpeles/ jaxfrm.html. The exhibit Evita, featuring a selection of the letters and journals of Eva Perón, the First Lady of Argentina, 1946-’52, is on display through May 1. Bright Interiors, Landscapes and Hauntingly Surreal Figures, featuring acrylic and mixed-media works by Troy Eittreim, is on display through Feb. 28.

ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., St. Augustine, 824-2310. The exhibits Black,

White and Shades of Gray, Mythos & Fauna, and Our Native Past: First Peoples are on display through Feb. 28.

EVENTS

GROW YOUR OWN CLASS The Let’s Grow & Show workshop for microgreens is held 10 a.m.-noon Jan. 13 at Duval County Extension Office, 1010 N. McDuff Ave., Jacksonville; $10. Registration and pre-payment required; call 255-7450.

JAMES ROLLINS Bestselling mystery author Rollins discusses and signs copies of his new book, The Bone Labyrinth, 7 p.m. Jan. 14 at The BookMark, 220 First St., Neptune Beach, 241-9026, bookmarkbeach.com.

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. BREAKFAST The 29th annual Martin Luther King Jr. Breakfast, featuring hosts Tenikka Hughes of Action News Jax and Shannon Ogden from First Coast News, Mayor Lenny Curry, presentations by the Tomorrow’s Leaders Youth Winners, keynote speaker Sampson Davis, M.D., a performance by Jacksonville Children’s Chorus, and breakfast, is 8 a.m. Jan. 15 at Prime Osborn Convention Center, 1000 W. Water St., Downtown, 630-4000, $40, eventbrite.com.

BHAGAVAN DAS & SHARADA DEVI KIRTAN & NADA YOGA WORKSHOP Spiritual teachers Bhagavan Das and Sharada Devi present a kirtan from 7-10 p.m. Jan. 15 ($25 advance; $30 at the door) and a Nada Yoga workshop ($50 advance; $55 at the door) from 6-9 p.m. Jan. 16 at Midnight Sun, 1055 Park St., Riverside, 358-3869; both events are $65 in advance; $75 at the door.

ID BIRDS DIGITALLY OR BY THE BOOK Guana Tolomato Matanzas National Estuarine Research Reserve and Marineland Dolphin Adventure present Coastal Training Specialist Lia Sansom, discussing area bird species identification, 10-11 a.m. Jan. 19 at Marineland Dolphin Adventure, 9600 Ocean Shore Blvd., St. Augustine. The program is free; arrive at 9:45 a.m. at the gift shop for a wristband. Reservation at 823-4500, marineland.net.

YUVAL RON ENSEMBLE University of North Florida’s OneJax Institute presents the award-winning Yuval Ron Ensemble, part of “Oneness of Humanity” celebration with Arabic, Jewish and Christian artists uniting the sacred musical traditions of Judaism, Sufism and the Christian Armenian Church. The concert includes songs of Sufi origin from Turkey, Jewish prayers from Morocco, and Yemeni, Israeli and Armenian chants; at 7 p.m. Jan. 21 in Fine Arts Center, Lazzara Hall, Room 2400, UNF, Southside, 620-1529; admission is free, but tickets are required for entry – to obtain tickets, go online at onejax.org.

PING PONG TOURNAMENT Green Room Brewing hosts a ping pong tournament every Tue. night, entries cut off at 7:30 p.m. start time. The $10 entry fee gets you one beer/beverage ticket; tickets awarded to the top four finishers. Double elimination, games to 21. USATT-rated opponents must give 5 points to unrated opponents. Green Room Brewing, 228 Third St. N, Jax Beach, 201-9283.

Vocalist LIZ CALLAWAY and the JACKSONVILLE SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA perform the songs of Grammy Award-winning singer-songwriter Carole King at Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Jacoby Symphony Hall Jan. 15 and 16, Downtown Jacksonville.

24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 13-19, 2016

A E // M A+E MUSIC USIC

YESTERDAY AND TODAY

Jacksonville’s WINTER WAVE embrace the ’90s with contemporary pop-punk on their new release

I

Jacksonville. I fell in love with Riverside and t has been written that the beer goes down Avondale, and the culture and the emergence a little faster and tastes a little better at a of all these new businesses and music.

Winter Wave show. Granted, that comes from their own bio, but it does sound like fun, Did growing up on a farm have any influence and by a listen to their latest release, Paranoia, on your choice to pursue music? it sounds like it could be legit. Winter Wave It was brutal waking up at 4 a.m. to milk cows, music sounds like great ’90s alternative music, then go to school and then, as soon as you get à la Weezer, Wheatus and maybe even the home from school, you have to milk the cows Pixies. Despite the name, listening to the again. I spent a lot of time making mix-tapes album reminds me of summers in Jax Beach, from the radio and learning guitar. That was in bar-hopping on bikes, getting dangerously the ’90s, and that music has never gotten old close to sunstrokes and being over-served. The to me. I still listen to the Pixies and Nirvana boys — Josh Cobb on guitar and vocals, Alex and all those great bands.

Dumas on drums, and Mark Daley on bass — put together an album The song “This Is Me” has that relies on guitars, hooks, WINTER WAVE CD RELEASE some real teen angst and and fun vocals, as opposed PARTY: THE DOG APOLLO, A CALL FOR KYLIE, identity-conflict on it. to programmed beats and PARKRIDGE Every song I write is a synthesized filler. I think 8 p.m. Jan. 16, 1904 Music Hall, combination of stories. It isn’t that’s why it reminds me of Downtown, $8 advance; always my life story, but it ’90s alt-rock. $10 at the door, could be a piece of my friend’s Folio Weekly Magazine 1904musichall.com story, and then some of my recently spoke with Winter story and maybe something I witnessed. “This Wave about that particular decade, our fair Is Me” is more personal, though. In the band state and milking cows. Nothing is more emo I was in before, I didn’t really have a lyrical than milking cows. outlet. Now I have that outlet, and so some of these thoughts and ideas get to come out.

Folio Weekly Magazine: Can you talk about In your formative years, you are sensitive to the influences in your new album, Paranoia? everything. A lot of those feelings turned into I hear a lot of ’90s alt influence in there. themes on the record.

Josh Cobb: Yeah, that’s probably the biggest influence. As we played more and more it grew “Ride Bikes” is a fun track. Do you spend on the sound. It started really with sort of a a lot of time cruising First Street on beach surf-garage kind of sound, but it evolved. cruisers with beers in the cup holders?

Yes, absolutely. Every Tuesday at the beach, How did Winter Wave form? they have a group that gets together to ride. I We were in a touring band [My Getaway] out went to one and there were all these six-gear of Palm Coast. We had some success with bikes and they were making fun of me because the whole emo scene there, and toured with I had a red mountain bike, and that’s where some bands like Brand New and The Starting that song kind of came from. It’s a little cheeky.

Line. After we disbanded, I started working on these surf-y sorts of songs. Now we’re a threeYou said you were trying to be stress-free. piece, and I’m doing the singing. The sound Is that from earlier exposure to the music is completely different and it’s a different industry? What are your goals with this band, dynamic. We are trying to be stress-free. We and are they influenced by the past? wanted to make it fun and have fun doing it.

I think our goal is purely based on doing exactly what we want to do, which is to play Is “Destination Florida” an ode to our home shows and have fun. We’re going to continue state, or a recap of how messed up we are? to play and play out of town more as the year It’s definitely an ode. We get a bad rap; I don’t think we need any more bad press. I grew goes on. We want to do everything DIY. Our up on a dairy farm in upstate New York, and production, our artwork and everything is when I moved to Florida, it was a huge culture done in-house. It’s a pure way to release our shock for me. Florida was like a big city to me. music to our fans by doing it ourselves.

I thought it was the big time. I wanted to Danny Kelly be in a metropolitan area, and I came to mail@folioweekly.com JANUARY 13-19, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25

A+E // MUSIC

TROMBONE SHORTY redefines New Orleans tradition with a hard-charging blend of jazz, rock, funk, and hip-hop

I

NEWMEETSOLD

n New Orleans, roots trump everything. So the average fan might look at 30-year-old musician Trombone Shorty and say, “He sure is young!” Or the traditionalist might listen to the amped-up gumbo of funk, hip-hop, alternative rock, blues, soul, and R&B and say, “Not jazz enough.”

But the man born Troy Andrews is a seasoned vet with an unassailable pedigree: His grandfather Jessie Hill was a lifelong musician, who wrote the classic R&B track “Ooh Poo Pah Doo.” Shorty first started performing in his native Treme neighborhood of the Crescent City at age four. He was leading his own band by age six — playing a trombone nearly twice as long as he was tall, hence the stage name.

He began touring with the Stooges Brass Band and his older brother James’ All-Star Brass Band when just a teenager. Andrews went to the New Orleans Center for Creative Arts, the same prestigious professional arts training center Harry Connick Jr., the Marsalis brothers, and Wendell Pierce attended. And, just two months after graduation, he joined Lenny Kravitz on a worldwide stint opening for Aerosmith.

So it’s easy to see that Trombone Shorty’s artistry and work ethic are innate. He’s released nine studio albums in 11 years, appeared in countless television and film roles, and worked with all manner of musicians, from The Meters to U2 to Green Day to Mystikal to Jeff Beck to Mos Def to Rod Stewart to Kid Rock to Zac Brown to Bone Thugs-n-Harmony to Foo Fighters. He’s an expert trombone, tuba, and trumpet player, and is quite adept at handling the saxophone, piano, bass, and drums. Oh, and he’s been touring at least 150 nights a year since 2005, when Hurricane Katrina instilled in him a new desire to both big up New Orleans and break free of the city’s easy-living borders.

Shorty’s music is forever rooted in his hometown jazz tradition, but with the help of electrifying Orleans Avenue bandmates Pete

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Murano, Michael Ballard, Dan Oestreicher, Joey Peebles, and BK Jackson, he tosses in heaping helpings of alternative rock, funk, hip hop, R&B, and soul, an uptempo mix Shorty calls “supafunkrock.” It fits that his music can pierce any veil. He’s big in Europe, bigger in Japan, biggest in Australia. He’s performed at the White House, the NBA All-Star Game, Tulane University’s Unified Commencement Ceremony, and an AIDS Task Force concert.

Consider him a bridge joining the dignified oldschool New Orleans of the late Allen Toussaint and the rowdy new-school New Orleans of Big Freedia. As Shorty told Complex.com in 2013, it’s all the same to him: “When we’re talking about music, it’s just one language — everybody communicates like that.”

TROMBONE SHORTY & ORLEANS AVENUE, NEW BREED BRASS BAND 8 p.m. Jan. 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, $42 (SRO), pvconcerthall.com

Beyond his role as a global ambassador for the Big Easy, Shorty is committed to giving back to the community that nurtured him. His Horns For Schools Program joined forces with New Orleans Mayor Mitch Landrieu to donate professional-quality instruments to area students who wanted to play music. In 2012, his Trombone Shorty Foundation teamed up with Tulane to institute an official after school program, Trombone Shorty Academy, for aspiring high school musicians. According to Shorty, it’s all in the name of preserving and perpetuating the city’s unique musical culture by reinterpreting it and passing it on to the next generations. As he told Jazziz Magazine in 2011, “When I came back to New Orleans [after Katrina] and started doing this heavy rock thing, a lot of people — my own relatives — were, like, ‘What are you doing?’ Some of them were offended. I love all the music that came before me. I honor it. I’m a student of

that music. But that doesn’t mean I have to keep recycling.”

In many ways, Shorty’s reshaping of that vaunted tradition is the only thing that can be held against him. The only other blemish on his record is his arrest at age 10 for playing too loudly in New Orleans’ iconic Jackson Square. But even that incident was staged by a local civil rights lawyer to call attention to the city’s archaic enforcement of noise ordinances pushed by the mostly white business establishment.

Even though Shorty’s music now appeals to a mostly white audience, you can’t deny the power it has to introduce folks all over to New Orleans’ gumbo. And you definitely can’t deny Shorty’s roots. He’s suffered at the hands of the crime and poverty that still flourishes in New Orleans as much as anyone; in 1996, his older brother Darnell was gunned down in the Lafitte housing projects, and in 2012, his cousin Glen was arrested on attempted murder and aggravated assault charges.

Which may explain why Trombone Shorty has kept his focus squarely on achieving success. It can be encapsulated by one scene in HBO’s acclaimed series Treme, in which Shorty has appeared several times. Another homegrown musician and longtime friend, Kermit Ruffins, is urged to spread his wings by an eager local DJ and aspiring musician: “Kermit, is all you want to do is smoke weed, barbecue, and stay in New Orleans for the rest of your life?” To which Ruffins, in his inimitable rasp, replies, “That’ll work.”

But that’s not Trombone Shorty. As he told Dan Rather in one of the legendary TV newsman’s “Big Interviews” in 2014, “I’ve never had the urge to smoke or drink … I’m after something. I don’t know what that something is, but I have to reach it. I have to continue to want to be a better musician, and I’m not there yet.”

Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly

JANUARY 13-19, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27

Singer-songwriter STEVE POLTZ (pictured), a founding member of San Diego indie-rock band The Rugburns, performs with GRANT-LEE PHILLIPS at The Original Café Eleven Jan. 20 in St. Augustine.

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK SPADE McQUADE 6 p.m. Jan. 13 at Fionn MacCool’s Irish Pub, Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 176, Downtown, 374-1247.

BILLY BOWERS 7 p.m. Jan. 13 at Ragtime Tavern, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877.

MOTHERS, THE LITTLE BOOKS 7:30 p.m. Jan. 13 at 1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St., Downtown, $8.

HOFFMAN’S VOODOO 7 p.m. Jan. 14, Ragtime Tavern.

MARK MANDEVILLE, RAIANNE RICHARDS, THIS FRONTIER NEEDS HEROES 7:30 p.m. Jan. 14 at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., San Marco, 352-7008, $10.

SCHOLARS WORD 8 p.m. Jan. 14 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 246-2473, $8 advance; $10 day of.

SAVI FERNANDEZ BAND, DANKA 8 p.m. Jan. 14 at 1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St., Downtown, $8 advance; $10 at door.

OBNOX, X__X, THE MOLD, NOTEL 8 p.m. Jan. 14 at rain dogs., 1045 Park St., Riverside, 379-4969.

FUJIWARA, CONCRETE CRIMINALS, THE WASTEDIST 8 p.m. Jan. 14 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $5 advance; $10 day of.

WAY DOWN WANDERERS 7:30 p.m. Jan. 15, Mudville Music Room.

KARL DENSON’S TINY UNIVERSE, LUCKY COSTELLO, S.P.O.R.E. 8 p.m. Jan. 15, Freebird Live, $20 advance; $25 day of.

MICKEY AVALON, DIRT NASTY 8 p.m. Jan. 15, Jack Rabbits, $20.

TROMBONE SHORTY & ORLEANS AVENUE, NEW BREED BRASS BAND 8 p.m. Jan. 15 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., 209-0399, $42 (SRO).

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Winter Jam: FOR KING & COUNTRY, MATTHEW WEST, CROWDER, LAUREN DAIGLE, RED, NEWSONG, SIDEWALK PROPHETS, TEDASHIL, KB, STARS GO DIM, TONY NOLAN, WE ARE MESSENGERS 6:45 p.m. Jan. 15, Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 A. Philip Randolph Blvd., Downtown, $10 at the door.

KELLEY HUNT 8:30 p.m. Jan. 15 at The Original Café Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 4609311, $15 advance; $20 day of.

LOVE MONKEY 10 p.m. Jan. 15 & 16 at Whiskey Jax, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Southside, 634-7208.

LUNAR COAST 10 p.m. Jan. 15 & 16 at Flying Iguana, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680.

RICK ARCUSA BAND 10 p.m. Jan. 15 & 16, Ragtime Tavern.

WINTER WAVE, THE DOG APOLLO, A CALL FOR KYLIE, PARKRIDGE 8 p.m. Jan. 16, 1904 Music Hall, $8 advance; $10 at the door.

GREENHOUSE LOUNGE, SIDEREAL, HOURS EASTLY, N.W. IZZARD 8 p.m. Jan. 16, Freebird Live, $10 advance; $15 day of.

CHRISTIAN McBRIDE 8 p.m. Jan. 16, The Ritz Theatre, $35 & $45 (includes meet-and-greet).

WI-DI FUNERAL, TOMMY SWISHER, KROWNS, OSOE, EASY, SPIRIT, WEBEUNTITLED 8 p.m. Jan. 16, Jack Rabbits, $7 advance; $14 day of.

RYAN CRARY CD RELEASE PARTY 4 p.m. Jan. 17 at The Wreck Tiki Lounge, 401 N. First St., Jax Beach, 435-4124.

DANKA, ECTO, STUDIO ONE BAND, SFB, COSTA 8 p.m.

Jan. 17, Freebird Live, $8 advance; $10 day of.

FLAW, IMMUNE, THE KNOWING WITHIN, THE THINGS THEY CARRIED 8 p.m. Jan. 17, Jack Rabbits, $10 advance; $15 day of.

WHITE FOX SOCIETY, CALL IT HOME, IN HONOR OF, FALL UPON FATE 7 p.m. Jan. 18, Jack Rabbits, $8 advance; $10 day of.

THE PUNKNECKS, HILLBILLY HARLOTS, RUST T. NUTZ 8 p.m. Jan. 19 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown.

PAT ROSE 7 p.m. Jan. 20, Ragtime Tavern.

STEVE POLTZ, GRANT-LEE PHILLIPS 8 p.m. Jan. 20, The Original Café Eleven, $15 advance; $20 day of.

GALACTIC, THE RECORD COMPANY 8 p.m. Jan. 20, Freebird Live, $22 advance; $25 day of.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

THE TEMPTATIONS, THE FOUR TOPS Jan. 21, The Florida Theatre GONZALO BEGARA QUARTET Jan 21, Original Café Eleven THE COLLEEN & JOSH SHOW Jan. 21, P.V. Concert Hall SHANNON & the CLAMS, GOLDEN PELICANS, THE MOLD Jan. 22, Burro Bar JUCIFER, SHADOW HUNTER, COUGHIN Jan. 22, Jack Rabbits THE LONELY HEARTSTRING BAND Jan. 22, The Original Café Eleven JESCO WHITE, SNAKE BLOOD REMEDY, GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE Jan. 23, Jack Rabbits CREEDENCE CLEARWATER REVISITED Jan. 23, ThrasherHorne Center TOM HAMILTON’S AMERICAN BABIES, THE GROOVE ORIENT Jan. 26, 1904 Music Hall GRAHAM NASH Jan. 27, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall DESTROYER of LIGHT, LA-A, BROTHERR Jan. 27, Burro Bar ANA POPOVIC Jan. 28, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PATTI LaBELLE Jan. 28, T-U Center for the Performing Arts SOUTHSIDE JOHNNY & THE ASBURY JUKES Jan. 28, The Florida Theatre CHERYL WHEELER Jan. 29, The Original Café Eleven CARRIE UNDERWOOD Jan. 30, Veterans Memorial Arena GAELIC STORM Jan. 30, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PAPADASIO Jan. 30, Mavericks Live PINK FLOYD LASER SPECTACULAR SHOW Jan. 30, The Florida Theatre JOHNNY MATHIS Jan. 31, The Florida Theatre COLIN HAY, HEATHER MALONEY Jan. 31, P.V. Concert Hall 2CELLOS Feb. 2, The Florida Theatre MOON TAXI Feb. 2, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall YANNI Feb. 3, Times-Union Center Southern Soul Assembly: JJ GREY, ANDERS OSBORNE, MARC BROUSSARD, LUTHER DICKINSON Feb. 4, Florida Theatre UNDER the STREETLAMP Feb. 5 & 6, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall Valor Jam for Veterans: The CORBITT BROTHERS, SECOND SHOT, BILLY BUCHANAN & FREE AVENUE Feb. 6, The Florida Theatre YONDER MOUNTAIN STRING BAND, TROUT STEAK REVIVAL Feb. 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ALAN PARSONS PROJECT Greatest Hits Tour, Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra Feb. 10, The Florida Theatre ROBERT RANDOLPH & the FAMILY BAND Feb. 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC BLACKBERRY SMOKE Feb. 12, The Florida Theatre MARTY STUART & the FABULOUS SUPERLATIVES Feb. 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PATTY GRIFFIN, SARA WATKINS, ANAIS MITCHELL Feb. 13, The Florida Theatre The JAMES HUNTER SIX Feb. 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall DAVE MASON’S TRAFFIC JAM Feb. 14, P.V. Concert Hall SURVIVORMAN LES STROUD Feb. 14, The Florida Theatre WILD KRATTS LIVE! Feb. 15, The Florida Theatre MELISSA ETHERIDGE Feb. 17, Thrasher-Horne Center DON WILLIAMS Feb. 17, The Florida Theatre ST. PAUL & the BROKEN BONES Feb. 19, P.V. Concert Hall PROTOMARTYR, SPRAY PAINT, UVTV Feb. 19, St. Augustine Amphitheatre FOREIGNER Feb. 20, The Florida Theatre SUN RA ARKESTRA Feb. 20, The Ritz Theatre ADAM TRENT Feb. 21, The Florida Theatre GARY CLARK JR. Feb. 21, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CHARLES BRADLEY & HIS EXTRAORDINAIRES Feb. 24, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall VINCE GILL, LYLE LOVETT Feb. 25, The Florida Theatre Experience Hendrix: BILLY COX, BUDDY GUY, ZAKK WYLDE, KENNY WAYNE SHEPHERD, JONNY LANG, DWEEZIL ZAPPA, KEB MO, ERIC JOHNSON, CHRIS LAYTON, MATO NANJI, NOAH HUNT, HENRI BROWN Feb. 26, Florida Theatre PETER CASE Feb. 26, Mudville Music Room RICHARD MARX Feb. 27, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ALABAMA Feb. 28, St. Augustine Amphitheatre The ZOMBIES March 3, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SOUTHERN CULTURE on the SKIDS March 3, Colonial Quarter IL VOLO March 3, The Florida Theatre BLACK VIOLIN March 3, The Ritz Theatre ROGER McGUINN March 4, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall STEVE MILLER BAND March 4, St. Augustine Amphitheatre HERB ALPERT & LANI HALL March 4, The Florida Theatre JASON ISBELL, SHOVELS & ROPE March 5, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ROBERT PLANT & THE SENSATIONAL SHIFTERS, THE SONICS March 6, St. Augustine Amphitheatre GEORGE WINSTON March 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MERLE HAGGARD March 11, The Florida Theatre MOODY BLUES March 11, St. Augustine Amphitheatre RIHANNA March 12, Veterans Memorial Arena BLUE MAN GROUP March 12 & 13, Times-Union Center GORDON LIGHTFOOT March 16, The Florida Theatre THE REVEREND PEYTON’S BIG DAMN BAND March 16, The Original Café Eleven Suwannee Springfest: JOHN PRINE, DEL McCOURY, JIM LAUDERDALE, DONNA THE BUFFALO March 17-20, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park GET THE LED OUT March 17, The Florida Theatre Festival of Laughs: MIKE EPPS, SOMMORE, EARTHQUAKE, GARY OWEN March 18, Vets Memorial Arena JOHNNY CLEGG & HIS BAND March 18, P.V. Concert Hall JOE SATRIANI March 19, The Florida Theatre THE FAB FOUR: THE ULTIMATE TRIBUTE March 19, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ALAN DOYLE & BAND March 20, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall GAITHER VOCAL BAND March 20, Times-Union Center CHICAGO, EARTH, WIND & FIRE March 23, Veterans Memorial Arena SETH GLIER March 24, The Original Café Eleven DURAN DURAN March 30, St. Augustine Amphitheatre CECILE McLORIN SALVANT March 31, The Ritz Theatre DAILEY & VINCENT April 7, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall LET IT BE: Celebration of the Beatles April 10, Florida Theatre AMY HELM April 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall Wanee Music Festival: WIDESPREAD PANIC, GREGG ALLMAN, GOV’T MULE, LES BRERS, UMPHREY’S McGEE, BRUCE HORNSBY, STANLEY CLARKE April 14, 15 & 16 RITA WILSON April 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BILLY CURRINGTON, KELSEA BALLERINI April 18, St. Augustine Amphitheatre The BRONX WANDERERS April 16, The Florida Theatre BARRAGE 8 April 17, The Florida Theatre JESSE COOK April 18, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall One Night of Queen: GARY MULLEN & the WORKS April 20, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall A NIGHT with JANIS JOPLIN April 21, The Florida Theatre Anjelah Johnson Presents: BON QUI QUI, GROUP 1 CREW April 30, The Florida Theatre Welcome to Rockville: ROB ZOMBIE, ZZ TOP, FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH, A DAY TO REMEMBER, MEGADETH, LAMB OF GOD, CYPRESS HILL, SEVENDUST, GHOST, ANTHRAX, CLUTCH, YELAWOLF, P.O.D., WE CAME AS ROMANS, MEMPHIS MAY FIRE, ISSUES, CROWN THE EMPIRE, SICK PUPPIES, BEARTOOTH, TEXAS HIPPIE COALITION, AVATAR, FROM ASHES TO NEW, THE GLORIOUS SONS, WILD THRONE, DISTURBED, SHINEDOWN, 3 DOORS DOWN, BRING ME THE HORIZON, SIXX:A.M., COLLECTIVE SOUL, PENNYWISE, POP EVIL, BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE, HELLYEAH, ASKING ALEXANDRIA, CANDLEBOX, FILTER, ESCAPE THE FATE, PARKWAY DRIVE, ENTER SHIKARI, MISS MAY I, WILSON, RED SUN RISING, LACEY STURM, MONSTER TRUCK, CANE HILL April 30 & May 1, Metropolitan Park The 1975, The JAPANESE HOUSE May 10, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ELLIS PAUL May 13, The Original Café Eleven SALT-N-PEPA, KID ’N PLAY, ROB BASE, COOLIO, TONE LOC, COLOR ME BADD May 21, St. Augustine Amphitheatre HERE COME the MUMMIES, NOAH GUTHRIE May 26, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall

JUSTIN BIEBER June 29, Veterans Memorial Arena TWENTY ONE PILOTS July 3, St. Augustine Amphitheatre 5 SECONDS OF SUMMER July 20, Veterans Memorial Arena

LIVE MUSIC CLUBS AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA

ALLEY CAT SEAFOOD & BEER HOUSE, 316 Centre St., 491-1001 Live music most weekends GREEN TURTLE TAVERN, 14 S. Third St., 321-2324 Buck Smith Thur. Yancy Clegg Sun. Vinyl Record Nite every Tue. SLIDERS, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652 Live music most weekends SURF RESTAURANT, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Yancy Clegg every Tue. & Thur. Black Jack Band every Fri.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free 9 p.m. Tue. & Thur. Indie dance 9 p.m. every Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance every Fri. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200 Live music every weekend

THE BEACHES (All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted)

Indie garage rocker OBNOX (aka Bim Thomas, former drummer of bluespunk greats The Bassholes), performs with X__X, THE MOLD, and NOTEL at rain dogs. in Riverside Jan. 14.

BRASS ANCHOR PUB, 2292 Mayport Rd., Ste. 35, Atlantic Beach, 249-0301 Joe Oliff 8 p.m. Jan. 13 CULHANE’S PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 249-9595 Kissass Karaoke every Fri. DJ Hal every Sat. Irish music Sun. FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 8535680 3 the Band Jan. 14. Lunar Coast 10 p.m. Jan. 15 & 16.

Darren Corlew Jan. 17 FLY’S TIE IRISH PUB, 177 Sailfish Dr., AB, 246-4293 Go Get Gone 10 p.m. Jan. 15 & 16. Gayle Jan. 19.

FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 Scholar’s Word, Sangria 8 p.m. Jan. 14. Karl Denson’s Tiny Universe, Lucky Costello, S.P.O.R.E. 8 p.m. Jan. 15. Greenhouse Lounge,

Sidereal, Hours Eastly, N.W. Izzard 8 p.m. Jan. 16. Danka, Ecto, Studio One Band, SFB, Costa Joe 8 p.m. Jan. 17. THE FINAL CONCERT: Galactic, The Record Company 8 p.m. Jan. 20.

Farewell, Freebird Live! :( GREEN ROOM BREWING, 228 Third St. N., 201-9283 Jasin Todd, Dellacoma Rio 7 p.m. Jan. 15 HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815 Jasin O’Neil Todd 9 p.m. Jan. 15. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Dan Evans, Spade McQuade every Sun. Back From the Brink every Mon.

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LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Wilder Sons 10 p.m. Jan. 15 & 16. Live music every night MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 Third St. N., 241-5600 Dan Hunting Jan. 13. Flatland Jan. 14. Jammin Salmons Jan. 15 MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573 Gypsies Ginger every Wed. Mike Shackelford, Steve Shanholtzer Thur.

RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877 Billy Bowers 7 p.m. Jan. 13. Hoffmans Voodoo Jan. 14. Rick Arcusa Band 10 p.m. Jan. 15 & 16. Pat Rose 7 p.m. Jan. 20. Live music every weekend WIPEOUTS GRILL, 1589 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 247-4508 Live music 7 p.m. Jan. 14, 9:30 p.m. Jan. 15 THE WRECK TIKI LOUNGE, 401 N. First St., 435-4124 Ryan Crary CD release party 4 p.m. Jan. 17

DOWNTOWN

1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N. Mothers, The Little Books 7:30 p.m. Jan. 13. Savi Fernandez Band, Danka 8 p.m. Jan. 14. Winter Wave CD Release Party: The Dog Apollo, A Call for Kylie, Parkridge 8 p.m. Jan. 16 BURRO BAR, 100 E. Adams St. Beach Day 7 p.m. Jan. 16. The Punknecks, Hillbilly Harlots, Rust T. Nutz 8 p.m.

Jan. 19 DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 BlackJack every Wed. DJ Brandon every Thur. DJs spin dance every Fri. DJ NickFresh Sat. DJ Randall 9 p.m. Mon. DJ Hollywood Tue. FIONN MacCOOL’S, The Landing, 374-1247 Spade McQuade 6 p.m. Jan. 13 & 20. Chuck Nash Jan. 15. Spade McQuade Jan. 16 JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 Lisa & the Madhatters Jan. 14. Monkey Wrench Jan. 15. Double Shot Jan. 16. Fusion Jan. 22 MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Dr. Doom 10 p.m.-2 a.m. every Fri. DJ Shotgun 10 p.m.-2 a.m. every Sat. MAVERICKS LIVE, Jax Landing, 356-1110 Appetite for Destruction, Medal Militia Jan. 15. Reel Big Fish 8 p.m.

Jan. 24. Joe Buck, DJ Justin every Thur.-Sat. UNDERBELLY, 113 E. Bay St., 699-8186 Live music weekends

FLEMING ISLAND

WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Chilly Rhino 9 p.m. Jan. 16. Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. DJ Throwback every Thur. Deck music every Fri., Sat. & Sun.

INTRACOASTAL WEST

CLIFF’S BAR & GRILL, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 Bill Ricci 5 p.m. Jan. 15. Live music most weekends JERRY’S Sports Grille, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766 Lucky Stiff 7:30 p.m. Jan. 15. Lisa & the Mad Hatters Jan. 16

MANDARIN, JULINGTON

DAVE’S Music Bar & Grill, 9965 San Jose Blvd., 575-4935 Live music most weekends HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine, 880-3040 Fletcher’s Grove 8 p.m. Jan. 19. Open jam 7 p.m. Mon.

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael Tue.-Sat. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 The Whey 10 p.m. Jan. 13. Signal Fire, Everything Forever 9 p.m. Jan. 16. Live music 10 p.m. every Wed. DJ Big Mike every Thur.

PONTE VEDRA

PUSSER’S Grill, 816 A1A, 280-7766 Ryan Crary Jan. 13. Samuel Sanders Jan. 14. Mark O’Quinn Jan. 15. Caleb Joye Jan. 16 TABLE 1, 330 A1A, 280-5515 The Rubies Jan. 13. Gary Starling Jan. 14. Robbie Litt Jan. 15. Latin All Stars Jan. 16

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

ACROSS THE STREET, 948 Edgewood Ave. S., 683-4182 Minor Influence, Happy Faced Mistakes, Mother Strange 8 p.m. Jan. 16 MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., 388-7807 Eli the Poet, Garrett on Acoustic, Love Collide, Marlin Dixon & the Fam Band, Spencer Kane 8 p.m. Jan. 15. Local worship bands 8 p.m. Jan. 16 RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969 Obnox, X__X, The Mold, Notel 8 p.m. Jan. 14. Red Neckromancer, Mudtown 8 p.m. Jan. 16

ST. AUGUSTINE

CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 Ancient City Keepers Jan. 15. Ain’t Too Proud to Beg Jan. 16. Vinny Jacobs 2 p.m. Jan. 17 MILL TOP TAVERN, 19 St. George St., 829-2329 Second Hand 9 p.m. Jan. 15 & 16. Denny Blue Jan. 16 THE ORIGINAL CAFÉ ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311 Kelley Hunt 8:30 p.m. Jan. 15 PAULA’S GRILL, 6896 A1A S., Crescent Beach, 471-3463 Denny Blue open mic jam 6-9 p.m. Jan. 13 TRADEWINDS, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Live music 9 p.m. Jan. 15 & 16

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Fujiwara, Concrete Criminals, The Wastedist 8 p.m. Jan. 14. Mickey Avalon, Dirt Nasty Jan. 15. Wi-Di Funeral, Tommy Swisher, Krowns, Osoe, Easy, Spirit, Webeuntitled Jan. 16. Flaw, Immune, The Knowing Within, The Things They Carried, Freaks Like Me 8 p.m. Jan. 17. White Fox Society, Call It Home, In Honor Of, Fall Upon Fate 7 p.m.

Jan. 18 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Mark Mandeville, Raianne Richards, This Frontier Needs Heroes 7:30 p.m. Jan. 14. Way Down Wanderers Jan. 15

SOUTHSIDE, BAYMEADOWS, ARLINGTON

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999 Charlie Walker 8 p.m. Jan. 14. Ivey West Jan. 15. Ouija Brothers Jan. 16 WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows, 634-7208 Love Monkey 10 p.m. Jan. 15 & 16. Country Jam Wed. Melissa Smith Thur.

Mojo Roux Blues Sun.

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

MOLLY BROWN’S Pub, 2467 Faye Rd., 683-5044 Clinton Lane Darnell, Shayne Rammler 8 p.m. Jan. 15 THREE LAYERS Cafe, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 Ao Mega 7 p.m. Jan. 18. Live music most weekends

THE KNIFE

CRARY ON, WAYWARD SON

7 1/2” deep

WHEN JACKSONVILLE SONGWRITER RYAN CRARY wrote me about his five-song release Words on a Whim, I thought, “Crary has too many Rs in it.”

Then I had a listen to the music, and I immediately forgot about how hard Crary is to pronounce.

There I was, overwhelmed by the softball songs, the overtly charming melodies, the ’90s guitar solos. I wanted to blow my brains out, but I had just changed the sheets.

Instead, I contacted Crary via email and told him what he was dealing with. “Look, dude, I really don’t like your style of music, and I am going to kill you in the press,” I wrote. “Now’s your chance to get out unscathed.” To his credit, not only did he want me to review his music, but he agreed to an interview.

If you want to listen to his stuff, grab some cotton candy and your Snuggie and log onto ryancrarymusic.com. While you listen, read this ...

Me: You are aware that I don’t like your music, but you insisted on doing this interview. Are you a masochist or what?

Ryan Crary: I am, but only during the holidays.

Makes me feel alive.

Well, then, happy freaking holidays. I would call your style of music power pop, which I stopped listening to in 1994. What do you call it?

Everything is cyclical, and the ’90s have made a comeback. I try to write each song with its own style and theme. I’ve always had trouble associating a style with my sound, but it’s nice to be labeled now.

30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 13-19, 2016

THE KNIFE

I know America, but what the hell are Seals & Crofts?

“Summer Breeze,” “Get Closer,” “Diamond Girl.” Any of those ring a bell? Never mind. All right, let’s be frank here. You play this kind of music ’cause it gets you laid. Right?

Of course. Isn’t that the reason everyone starts playing music?

You love heavy metal, doncha?

Nope. Although I am heavily impressed with the technical musicianship of metal.

You’re welcome. In the title track, “Words on a Whim,” you say you “took the pills to numb the pain.” Are you still doped up, or are you clean?

Still hooked. So long as you keep supplying them.

I actually like your song “Leaving This.” I mean, I like it more than I hate the other songs. It’s well-put-together, good melody, very much like America’s “Ventura Highway.”

It certainly doesn’t suck. Don’t let it go to your head.

That’s high praise. It’s also my favorite on the album. It’s about the want to transition to something more than a Jax Beach cover band and write some original music.

That’s not even close to funny. Moving on …

The chorus in “Abruptly” sounds like a cross between Seals & Crofts and America. Are you old enough to know who those bands are?

On your website, you do a variety of covers. I’ve got to admit, the Amy Winehouse tune sounds pretty solid. But Jesus, dude, you cover a Justin Bieber song. What the hell is wrong with you?

What do you mean? You’re a closet “Belieber,” aren’t you? Is it too late now to say sorry?

Seriously though, to gain appeal on YouTube, the best thing to do is cover pop tunes, and that little shit is at the top.

On your website, you have a form where people can sign up to have a special song sent to them. If I were to enter my name and email address, what would be the song you would send to me?

For you, a cover of “Love Yourself” by your favorite artist, Justin Bieber. For everyone else, an original song or two that aren’t on this album.

Listen, Crary, if that’s your real name, when you put out another record, will you promise that it will not sound like this one?

Yes! I’m working on it now and plan to have it out at the end of this year. Written and produced by yours truly, and it definitely has a different sound.

Thank Christ.

John E. Citrone theknife@folioweekly.com ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– RYAN CRARY holds a CD release party for Words on a Whim 4 p.m. Jan. 17 at The Wreck Tiki Lounge, 401 N. First St., Jax Beach, 435-4124.

Moxie Kitchen + Cocktails lights up Southside’s Town Center area with creative, innovative American cuisine and top-shelf mixology skills.

Photo by Dennis Ho

DINING DIRECTORY AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH

29 SOUTH EATS, 29 S. Third St., 277-7919, 29southrestau rant.com. F Chef Scotty Schwartz’s traditional regional cuisine has modern twist. $$ L Tue.-Sat.; D Mon.-Sat.; R Sun. BARBERITOS, 1519 Sadler Rd., 277-2505. 463867 S.R. 200, Ste. 5, Yulee, 321-2240, barberitos.com. F Southwestern fare; burritos, tacos, quesadillas, salsa. $$ BW K TO L D Daily BEACH DINER, 2006 S. Eighth St., 310-3750, beachdiner. com. Innovative breakfast: Eggs on the Bayou, fish-n-grits; French toast, riders, omelets. Lunch fare: salads, burgers, sandwiches, shrimp & crabmeat salad. $$ BW K TO L D Daily BEECH STREET Bar & Grill, 801 Beech St., 572-1390, beech streetbarandgrill.com. In restored 1889 home, Chef Charles creates with fresh, local ingredients. Local seafood, handcut Florida steaks, housemade pasta, daily specials, small plates, street food. $$$-$$$$ FB D Tue.-Sat.; Brunch, D Sun. BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F Southern hospitality, upscale waterfront spot; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB K L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo.com.

F Family-owned; historic building. Veggie burgers, seafood, made-from-scratch desserts. Dine in or on oak-shaded patio.

Karibrew Pub next door. $$ FB K TO R, Sun.; L D Daily CHEZ LEZAN BAKERY CO., 1014 Atlantic Ave., 491-4663, chezlezanbakery.com. Fresh European-style breads, pastries: croissants, muffins, cakes, pies. $ TO B R L Daily THE CRAB TRAP, 31 N. Second St., 261-4749, ameliacrabtrap.com. F $$ FB K TO R, Sun.; L D Daily

To get your restaurant listed here, just call your account manager or Sam Taylor at 904.260.9770 ext. 111 or staylor@folioweekly.com.

DINING DIRECTORY KEY

Average Entrée Cost $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer/Wine FB = Full Bar K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch L = Lunch D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted free FW Bite Club tasting. fwbiteclub.com.

2015 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot

DAVID’S Restaurant & Lounge, 802 Ash St., 310-6049, ameli aislanddavids.com. Fine dining, historic district. Fresh seafood, prime aged meats, rack of lamb. $$$$ FB D Wed.-Mon. DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 474313 E. S.R. 200, 491-3469.

450077 S.R. 200, Callahan, 879-0993. 2015 BOJ winner.

SEE ORANGE PARK.

ELIZABETH POINTE LODGE, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabethpointelodge.com. F Award-winning B&B. Seaside dining, inside or out. Hot buffet breakfast daily. Homestyle soups, sandwiches, desserts. $$$ BW B L D Daily HOLA CUBAN CAFÉ, 117 Centre St., 321-0163, holacuban cafe.com. F $$ FB K TO R, Sun.; L D Daily JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddianes cafe.com. F 1887 shotgun house. Jambalaya, French toast, mac-n-cheese, vegan/vegetarian. Porch. $$ FB K B L D Daily LULU’S at Thompson House, 11 S. 7th St., 432-8394, lulusamelia.com. F Po’boys, salads, local seafood, local shrimp. Reservations. $$$ BW K TO R Sun.; L D Tue.-Sat. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moonriver pizza.net. F 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic Northern-style pizzas, 20+ toppings, pie or the slice. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE MUSTARD SEED CAFÉ, 833 TJ Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Casual organic eatery, juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juice, herbal tea. $$ TO B L Mon.-Sat. PABLO’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT GRILL & CANTINA, 12 N. Second St., 261-0049. Chicken, carnes, fajitas, burritos, tacos, daily specials. Margaritas. $$$ FB K TO L D Daily THE PECAN ROLL BAKERY, 122 S. Eighth St., 491-9815, thepecanrollbakery.com. F Near historic district. Sweet and savory pastries, cookies, cakes, bagels, breads, made from scratch. $ K TO B L Wed.-Sun. PI INFINITE COMBINATIONS, 19 S. Third St., 432-8535, pi32034.wix.com/piinfinite. All bar service; NYC-style.

Specialty pizzas, pie/slice, toppings: truffle mushrooms, little neck clams, eggs, shrimp. Courtyard. $$ BW TO L D Wed.-Sun. PLAE, 80 Amelia Village Cir., 277-2132, plaefl.net. Bite Club. Bistro-style venue serves whole fried fish, duck breast.

Outside. $$$ FB L Tue.-Sat.; D Nightly SALTY PELICAN Bar & Grill, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesal typelicanamelia.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. 2nd-story

outdoor bar. Owners T.J. & Al offer local seafood, fish tacos, local shrimp, po’boys, cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F Oceanfront. Crabcakes, fried pickles, fresh seafood. Open-air 2nd floor, balcony. $$ FB K L D Daily T-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. Eighth St., 261-6310. F 2015 BOJ winner. In an old gas station; blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L Mon.-Sat.

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

DICK’S Wings & Grill, 9119 Merrill Rd., 745-9300. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. LARRY’S, 1301 Monument Rd., 724-5802. F SEE ORANGE PARK. The STEAKHOUSE @ Gold Club, 320 Gen. Doolittle Dr., 645-5500, jacksonvillegoldclub.com. Lunch and dinner specials, free HH buffets Thur. & Fri. $$$ FB L D Daily

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

FLORIDA CREAMERY, 3566 St. Johns Ave., 619-5386. Ice cream, waffle cones, milkshakes, sundaes, Nathan’s grilled hot dogs. Low-fat and sugar-free choices. $ K TO L D Daily HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, harpoonlouies.net. F Locally owned & operated 20+ years.

American pub. 1/2-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta.

Local beers. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MOJO NO. 4 Urban BBQ & Whiskey Bar, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. PINEGROVE Market & Deli, 1511 PineGrove Ave., 389-8655, pinegrovemarket.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. 40+ years.

Burgers, Cubans, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher cuts USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. $ BW TO B L D Mon.-Sat. RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaurant orsay.com. 2015 BOJ winner. French/Southern bistro; locally grown organic ingredients. Steak frites, mussels, pork chops. Snail of Approval. $$$ FB K R, Sun.; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simply saras.net. F Down-home fare, from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Mon.-Sat., B Sat.

BAYMEADOWS

AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. BELLA VITA RISTORANTE ITALIANO, 3825 Baymeadows Rd., 646-1370, bellavitajax.com. F Authentic cuisine. $$ FB L D Daily INDIA’S RESTAURANT, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajax.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetable dishes, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L Mon.-Sat.; D Nightly LARRY’S Giant Subs, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., 737-7740.

8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., 425-9142. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 11030 Baymeadows Rd., 260-2791. SEE MANDARIN. PATTAYA THAI Grille, 9551 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1, 646-9506, ptgrille.com. Family-owned; traditional fare, vegetarian, new Thai; curries, seafood, noodles, soups. Lowsodium, gluten-free, too. $$$ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun. TEQUILA’S Mexican Restaurant, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 101, 363-1365, tequilasjacksonville.com. F Authentic fare, made daily with fresh ingredients. Vegetarian dishes; daily drink specials. Nonstop happy hour. $$ FB L D Daily THE WELL WATERING HOLE, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9, 737-7740, thewellwateringhole.com. Local craft beers, wines by glass/bottle, champagne cocktails. Meatloaf sandwich, pulled Peruvian chicken, homestyle vegan black bean burgers. $$ BW K TO D Tue.-Sat. WHISKEY JAX KITCHEN & COCKTAILS, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 135, 634-7208, whiskeyjax.com. Gastropub has craft beers, burgers, handhelds, tacos, whiskey. $$ FB L D Sat. & Sun.; D Daily.

BEACHES

(Venues are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0002, alspizza.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. New York-style gourmet pizzas, baked dishes. All-day HH Mon.-Thur. $ FB K TO L D Daily

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DINING DIRECTORY ANGIE’S SUBS, 1436 Beach Blvd., 246-2519. ANGIE’S GROM, 204 Third Ave. S., 246-7823. F 2015 BOJ winner.

Subs made with fresh ingredients for 25+ years. One word: Peruvian. Big salads, blue-ribbon iced tea. $ BW TO L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 2400 S. Third St., Ste. 201. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. ESPETO BRAZILIAN STEAKHOUSE, 1396 Beach Blvd., 388-4884, espetosteakhouse.com. Just relocated, serving beef, pork, lamb, chicken, sausage; full menu, bar fare, craft cocktails, Brazilian beers. $$ FB D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001, europeanstreet.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & TEQUILA BAR, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 F 2015 BOJ winner.

Latin American, tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana fare. 100+ tequilas. $ FB L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 657 Third St. N., 247-9620. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 1018 Third St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600, mellowmushroom.com. F Bite Club.

2015 BOJ winner. Hoagies, gourmet pizzas: Mighty Meaty, vegetarian, Kosmic Karma. 35 tap beers. Nonstop happy hour. $ FB K TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 1534 Third St. N., 853-6817. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MEZZA RESTAURANT & BAR, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573, mezzarestaurantandbar.com. F Near-the-ocean 20+ years. Casual bistro fare: gourmet wood-fired pizzas, nightly specials. Dine in, patio. $$$ FB K D Mon.-Sat. MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636, mojobbq.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Pulled pork, beef, chicken, Carolina-style, sides. $$ FB K TO L D Daily POE’S TAVERN, 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7637, poestavern.com. Gastropub, 50+ beers, gourmet burgers, hand-cut fries, fish tacos, Edgar’s Drunken Chili, daily fish sandwich special. $$ FB K L D Daily RAGTIME TAVERN & SEAFOOD GRILL, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F For 30+ years, iconic seafood place. Blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily happy hour. $$ FB L D Daily SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 1018 Third St. N., 372-4456, saltlife foodshack.com. Specialties: signature tuna poke bowl, sushi, Ensenada tacos, local fried shrimp, in modern openair space. $$ FB K TO L D Daily SLIDERS SEAFOOD GRILLE & OYSTER BAR, 218 First St., NB, 246-0881, slidersseafoodgrille.com. Beach-casual spot. Faves: Fresh fish tacos, gumbo. Key lime pie, ice cream sandwiches. $$ FB K L Sat. & Sun.; D Nightly SNEAKERS SPORTS GRILLE, 111 Beach Blvd., 482-1000, sneakerssportsgrille.com. 2015 BOJ winner. 20+ tap beers, TVs. Happy hour Mon.-Fri. $ FB K L D Daily SURFING SOMBRERO, 222 First St. N., 834-9377. Oceanfront place serves authentic fare – like paella. Drink specials. Dine in or outside. $$ FB L D Daily SURFWICHES SANDWICH SHOP, 1537 Penman Rd., 241-6996, surfwiches.com. Craft sandwich shop; Yankeestyle steaks, hoagies, all made to order. $ BW TO K L D Daily

CHADWICK DAVIS

MOJO SMOKEHOUSE, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteys fishcamp.com. F Real fish camp. Gator tail, freshwater catfish, daily specials, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar.

Come by boat, bike or car. $ FB K TO L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly

INTRACOASTAL WEST

AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. DICK’S WINGS, 14286 Beach Blvd., 223-0115. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. LARRY’S SUBS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980.

F SEE ORANGE PARK. TIME OUT SPORTS GRILL, 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5, 223-6999, timeoutsportsgrill.com. F Locally-owned-andoperated. Hand-tossed pizzas, wings, wraps. Daily drink specials, HDTVs. Late-nite menu. $$ FB L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly

MANDARIN, NW ST. JOHNS

AKEL’S DELI, 12926 Granbay Pkwy. W., 880-2008. F SEE DOWNTOWN.

AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199.

F Dolmades (stuffed grape leaves), baby shoes (stuffed eggplant). Greek beers. $$ BW L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. DICK’S WINGS, 10391 Old St. Augustine Rd., 880-7087. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. FIRST COAST DELI & GRILL, 6082 St. Augustine Rd., 733-7477. Diner: pancakes, bacon, sandwiches, burgers. $ K TO B L Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 11365 San Jose Blvd., 674-2945.

F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. F Organic soups, sandwiches, wraps, baked goods, prepared foods.

Juice, smoothie and coffee bar. All-natural, organic beers, wines. Indoor, outdoor dining. $ BW TO K B L D Daily THE RED ELEPHANT PIZZA & GRILL, 10131 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 12, 683-3773, redelephantpizza.com. Casual, familyfriendly eatery. Pizzas, sandwiches, grill specials, burgers, pasta, plus gluten-free-friendly items. $ FB K L D Daily

ORANGE PARK

CHEERS PARK AVENUE, 1138 Park Ave., 269-4855. $$ FB L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 6055 Youngerman Cir., 778-1101, dickswingsandgrill.com. 1803 East West Pkwy., 375-2559.

2015 BOJ winner. NASCAR theme. 365 varieties of wings, half-pound burgers, ribs. $ FB K TO L D Daily THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959, hilltop-club.com.

Southern-style fine dining. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. Extensive bourbon selection. $$$ FB D Tue.-Sat.

GRILL ME!

The Hilltop, 2030 Wells Rd., Orange Park BIRTHPLACE: Anchorage, Alaska YEARS IN THE BIZ: 28 FAVE RESTAURANT (other than mine): Hard Rock Café FAVE CUISINE STYLE: Grilling FAVE INGREDIENTS: Butter and blackening seasoning IDEAL MEAL: Wild boar chops WON’T CROSS MY LIPS: There’s nothing I won’t eat.

CULINARY TREAT: Pumpkin cheesecake

DOWNTOWN

AKEL’S DELICATESSSEN, 21 W. Church St., 665-7324, akelsdeli.com. F New York-style deli has freshly made subs (3 Wise Guys, Champ), burgers, gyros, breakfast bowls, ranchero wrap, vegetarian items. $ K TO B L Mon.-Fri. THE CANDY APPLE CAFÉ & COCKTAILS, 400 N. Hogan St., 353-9717, thecandyapplecafe.com. Sandwiches, entrées, salads. $$ FB K L, Mon.; L D Tue.-Sun. CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth St., 356-8282. F Chef Sam Hamidi has served genuine Italian fare 35+ years: veal, seafood, gourmet pizza. Homemade salad dressing. $ BW K L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. OLIO MARKET, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com.

F From-scratch soups, sandwiches. Duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L Mon.-Fri. SWEET PETE’S, 400 N. Hogan St., 376-7161. F All-natural sweet shop has candy made of all natural flavors, no artificial anything. Several kinds of honey. $ TO Daily ZODIAC BAR & GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283, thezodi acbarandgrill.com. Mediterranean cuisine, American fare, paninis, vegetarian dishes. Daily lunch buffet. Espressos, hookahs. Happy hour Wed.-Sat. $ FB L Mon.-Fri.

FLEMING ISLAND

GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 1915 East-West Parkway, 541-0009. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

32 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 13-19, 2016

LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., 276-7370.

1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 15, 272-3553. 5733 Roosevelt Blvd., 446-9500. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove, 284-7789, larryssubs.com. F All over the area, Larry’s piles ’em high, serves ’em fast; 33+ years.

Hot & cold subs, soups, salads. Some Larry’s serve breakfast. $ K TO B L D Daily METRO DINER, 2034 Kingsley Ave., 375-8548. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. SNACSHACK, 179 College Dr., Ste. 19, 682-7622, snac shack.menu. F Bakery and café; bagels, muffins, breads, cookies, brownies, snack treats. $$ K BW TO B, L & D Daily

PONTE VEDRA BEACH

AL’S Pizza, 635 A1A, 543-1494. F ’15 BOJ. SEE BEACHES. DICK’S WINGS, 100 Marketside Ave., 829-8134, dickswings andgrill.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. LARRY’S SUBS, 830 A1A N., 273-3993. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE 13 GYPSIES, 887 Stockton St., 389-0330, 13gypsies. com. 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic Mediterranean peasant cuisine updated for Americans; tapas, blackened octopus, risotto of the day, coconut mango curry chicken. $$ BW L D Tue.-Sat. AKEL’S DELI, 245 Riverside Ave., 791-3336. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., 388-8384. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

DINING DIRECTORY

ST. AUGUSTINE

8” deep

AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. CARMELO’S Marketplace Pizzeria, 146 King St., 494-6658, carmelosmarketplace.com. New York-style brick-oven-baked pizza, fresh sub rolls, Boar’s Head meats & cheeses, garlic herb wings. Outdoor seating, Wi-Fi. $$ BW TO L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 965 S.R. 16, 825-4540. 4010 U.S. 1 S., 547-2669. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. THE FLORIDIAN, 72 Spanish St., 829-0655, thefloridian staug.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Updated Southern fare.

Vegetarian, gluten-free. Fried green tomato bruschetta, grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D Wed.-Mon. GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F Local mainstay 25+ years. Varied menu changes twice daily. Signature dish: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. Sun. brunch. $$ FB R Sun.; L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. METRO DINER, 1000 S. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 758-3323. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO OLD CITY BBQ, 5 Cordova St., 342-5264. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. ONE TWENTY THREE BURGER HOUSE, 123 King St., 687-2790.

From Carmelo’s owners. Premium burgers, made with beef from NYC butcher Schweid & Sons. Wood-fired pizzas, ice cream bar, Old World milkshakes. $$ BW K TO L D Daily SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 321 A1A Beach Blvd., 217-3256, saltlifefoodshack.com. SEE BEACHES.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

BASIL Thai & Sushi, 1004 Hendricks Ave., 674-0190, basilthaijax.com. F Authentic Pad Thai, curry, tempura, vegetarian, seafood, stir-fry, specials. $$ FB L D Mon.-Sat. BISTRO AIX, 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox. com. F Mediterranean/French inspired; steak frites, oakfired pizza, raw bar seasonal selections. $$$ FB TO L D Daily DICK’S Wings, 1610 University Blvd. W., 448-2110. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK.

EUROPEAN STREET Café, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 398-9500.

2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. $ BW K L D Daily FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusion sushijax.com. F Upscale sushi spot serves a variety of fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu. $$ K L D Daily The GROTTO WINE & TAPAS BAR, 2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726. F Artisanal cheese plate, empanada, bruschetta, cheesecake. 60+ wines by the glass. $$$ BW Tue.-Sun. HAMBURGER MARY’S Bar & Grille, 3333 Beach Blvd., 551-2048, hamburgermarys.com. F ’15 BOJ winner. Wings, sammies, nachos, entrées, burgers. $$ K TO FB L D Daily KITCHEN ON SAN MARCO, 1402 San Marco Blvd., 396-2344, kitchenonsanmarco.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Local, national craft beers, specialty cocktails, seasonal menu, fresh, locally sourced ingredients. Sunday brunch. $$ FB L D Daily MEZZE Bar & Grill, 2016 Hendricks Ave., 683-0693, mezzejax.com. Classic drinks, basil martinis, 35 drafts, local/ crafts, Mediterranean cuisine. Hookah. HH. $$ FB D Daily METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metro diner.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Original upscale diner.

Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, soups. $$ B R L Daily MOJO BAR-B-QUE, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. PIZZA PALACE, 1959 San Marco Ave., 399-8815, pizzapalace jax.com. F Family-owned-&-operated; spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, lasagna. Dine outside. $$ BW K TO L D Daily SCORES, 4923 Univ. Blvd. W., 739-6966. $$ FB D Nightly.

TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco Ave., 398-3005, tavernasan marco.com. Chef Sam Efron’s authentic Italian; local produce, meats. Craft beers, craft cocktails. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily

SOUTHSIDE, TINSELTOWN

ALHAMBRA Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. USA’s longest-running dinner theater; Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus. Reservations. $$ FB D Tue.-Sun. BARBERITOS, 4320 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., Ste. 106, 807-9060. F SEE AMELIA ISLAND. DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., 619-0954.

2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK.

DIM SUM Room, 9041 Southside Blvd., 363-9888, thedimsu mroom.com. Shrimp dumplings, sesame ball. Traditional Hong Kong noodles, barbecue. $ FB K L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET Café, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717.

2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. JC HOMEMADE PASTRIES Filipino Cuisine & Karaoke, 12192 Beach Blvd., Ste. 3, 619-4303. Authentic Filipino fare. $$ Fri.-Sun. TO. LARRY’S Giant Subs, 3611 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 641-6499.

4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F SEE ORANGE PARK. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MONROE’S Smokehouse BAR B-Q, 10771 Beach Blvd., 996-7900, monroessmokehousebbq.com. SEE RIVERSIDE. OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr., 900-7730, ovinte. com. 2015 BOJ winner. European-style, influenced by Italy, Spain, Mediterranean. Small plates, entrée-size portions, selections from charcuterie menu. $$$ BW TO R D Daily STICKY FINGERS SMOKEHOUSE, 8129 Point Meadows Way, 493-7427, stickyfingers.com. Memphis-style hickorysmoked ribs, wings, pulled pork, barbecue – five legendary sauces and a dozen sides. $$$ FB K TO L D Daily TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Ct., 854-0426, tavernayamas.com. F Bite Club. Char-broiled kabobs, seafood, wines, desserts. Belly dancing. $$ FB K L D Daily

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

DICK’S WINGS, 12400 Yellow Bluff Rd., Ste. 101, 619-9828. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. HOLA MEXICAN Restaurant, 1001 N. Main St., 3563100, holamexicanrestaurant.com. F Fajitas, burritos, daily specials, enchiladas. HH; sangria. $ BW K TO L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 12001 Lem Turner Rd., 764-9999.

SEE ORANGE PARK.

MOLLY BROWN’S PUB & GRILL, 2467 Faye Rd., 683-5044.

F $$ FB TO L D Daily

BITE-SIZED

Where to go when IT’S CHILI outside

SOMETHING TO photo by Rebecca Gibson

BLACK SHEEP RESTAURANT, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, black sheep5points.com. New American, Southern; local source ingredients. Rooftop bar. $$$ FB R Sat. & Sun.; L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 869 Stockton St., Stes. 1 & 2, 855-1181. F 2015 BOJ winner. Small-batch, artisanal coffee roasting. Organic, fair trade. $ BW TO B L Daily BREW FIVE POINTS, 1024 Park St., 714-3402, brewfive points.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Local craft beer, espresso, coffee, wine. Rotating drafts, 75+ can craft beers; sodas, tea. Rotating seasonal menu: waffles, pastries, toasts, desserts, specialty coffees, craft beers. $$ BW K B L Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412, cornertaco.com.

Made-from-scratch “Mexclectic street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free, vegetarian options. $ BW L D Daily.

DERBY ON PARK, 1068 Park St., 379-3343. New American cuisine, upscale retro air in historic landmark building. Shrimp & grits, lobster bites, 10-oz. gourmet burger. Dine inside or out. $$ FB TO Wknd brunch. B, L D Tue.-Sun. EDGEWOOD Bakery, 1012 S. Edgewood Ave., 389-8054, edgewoodbakery.com. 68+ years, full-service. From-scratch pastries, petit fours, pies, custom cakes. Espresso/pastry café: sandwiches, smoothies, soups. $$ K TO B L Tue.-Sat. EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 2753 Park St., 384-9999. 2015 BOJ winner. 130+ import beers, 20 on tap. Sandwiches.

Outside dining at some EStreets. $ BW K L D Daily GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Juice bar; organic fruits, veggies. 300+ craft/imports, 50 wines, meats, deli, raw, vitamins. Wraps, sandwiches. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS ASIAN STREET FARE, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic dishes from mobile stalls. $ BW TO L D Daily IL DESCO, 2665 Park St., 290-6711, ildescojax.com. Modern Italian cuisine. Handcraft cocktails. $$-$$$ FB TO K L D Daily JOHNNY’S Deli & Grille, 474 Riverside Ave., 356-8055. F Casual; sandwiches, classic salads, homefries. $ TO B L Daily KNEAD Bakeshop, 1173 Edgewood Ave. S., 634-7617.

Locally-owned, family-run; made-from-scratch pastries, artisan breads, pies, sandwiches. $ TO B L Tue.-Sun. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1509 Margaret St., 674-2794. 7895 Normandy Blvd., 781-7600. 8102 Blanding Blvd., 779-1933.

F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., 999-4600. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MONROE’S SMOKEHOUSE BAR-B-Q, 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551, monroessmokehousebbq.com. Wings, pulled pork, brisket, turkey, chicken, ribs. Sides: beans, baked beans, mac-n-cheese, collards. $$ K TO L Mon.-Sat.; D Fri. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442.

F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. MOSSFIRE GRILL, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434, mossfire. com. F Southwestern fish tacos, enchiladas. HH Mon.-Sat. upstairs lounge, all day Sun. $$ FB K L D Daily O’BROTHERS Irish Pub, 1521 Margaret, 854-9300, obroth ersirishpub.com. F Stilton crust shepherd’s pie, Guinness mac-n-cheese, fish-n-chips. Patio. $$ FB K TO L D Daily PATTAYA Thai Grille, 1526 King St., 503-4060. SEE BAYMEADOWS. rain dogs, 1045 Park, 379-4969. ’15 BOJ. Bar food. $ D SBRAGA & COMPANY, 220 Riverside Ave., Ste. 114, 746-0909, sbragadining.com. Chef Kevin Sbraga has a contemporary approach to local influences. Go-to dishes: hog & hominy, fish fry, carrot ceviche. $$-$$$ FB TO L D Daily SOUTHERN ROOTS FILLING STATION, 1275 King St., 513-4726, southernrootsjax.com. ’15 BOJ winner. Healthy, light vegan fare; local, organic ingredients. Specials, on bread, local greens or rice, change daily. Coffees, teas. $ Tue.-Sun. SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside, Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushicafe jacksonville.com. F Monster, Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll.

Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. $$ BW L D Daily

TACO ’BOUT

BITE SIZED

menu. He encourages folks to try the Cali Burrito NACHO TACOS? THINK AGAIN. Despite the if you’re starving, and the vegan chorizo if you’re restaurant name’s implication, the filled-withgoing meatless. Nacho Taco has vegan and goodies folded tortilla delights at NACHO TACO vegetarian options to spare, so don’t shy away from are all yours – as are the chimichangas, burritos, bringing all your buds, omnivores or not. skewers, quesadillas and enchiladas. I recommend I ordered the Two Beef Tacos on Corn Tortillas those tacos, because those tacos are muy tasty. ($6.99), which included rice, beans, chips, and Owner Matt Shefoglu was inspired by the salsa. Bean-wise, I was torn between black or pinto, famed taco stands of SoCal when he stumbled so Shefoglu chose for me. My friend ordered the upon a tiny building in Riverside. He saw its Lime Chicken Skewers ($4.99), which I was glad potential and decided that Riverside needed its about because they sounded fantastic. (Remember, own taco stand. Originally from Bulgaria, Shefoglu sharing is caring.) Once we had our meals, we went isn’t of Mexican descent, but he grew up around out to sit on the cold picnic benches. Lasted 30 authentic Mexican cooking nonetheless. Shefoglu seconds. Drove home to eat. moved to Jacksonville as a young boy and lived I doubted my two tacos would be enough to in neighborhoods bursting with a vibrant Mexican abate belly rumblings, but I was culture that shaped Shefoglu’s own wrong. The savory tacos, with taste preferences. Now years later, NACHO TACO a squeeze of lime, hit the spot. he’s chosen Riverside as the spot 751 Stockton St., Riverside, Best of all, they tasted fresh to let Nacho Taco thrive. “I’ve lived 619-0383 and homemade. Shefoglu’s in most parts of Jacksonville,” he recommended pinto beans says. “None are like Riverside. It’s were hearty – great mixed with the rice and chips, unique on its own.” and they worked well with the skewers. The lime Nacho Taco is also unique, a bright blue square skewers were good-sized, a great choice for carbon Stockton. I’d heard talk of this shack of a free diners who still want to enjoy all the best of restaurant, which opened Dec. 1, but hadn’t tried Mexican food. it out. I didn’t realize it was dine-out only until I slid Shefoglu says it’s time Riverside had its own open the glass door and saw that there was a fridge taco stand, and I couldn’t agree more. Nacho Taco for soda, a counter to place your order … that’s it. delivers, and not just by car – this new local spot There’s no seating inside, but there are a few picnic delivers on taste, authenticity, and friendliness. benches outside. Nacho Taco is tiny, but it makes up Rebecca Gibson for its size in deliciousness. mail@folioweekly.com Shefoglu stands behind the counter, incredibly _____________________________________ calm and patient for a man who’s just opened a Read about many more of Rebecca’s local dining restaurant. He’s a nice guy, not too busy to ask adventures at somewhereinthecityjax.com. about your day and offer his suggestions for the JANUARY 13-19, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 33

LOOKIN’ FOR LOVE FOLIO

W E E K LY

FOLIO LIVING

PET

LOVERS’

GUIDE

DEAR DAVI

PHONE APPS FOR THE DOGS Hey Davi, My mom just took her smartphone to the next level.

Any legit apps for dogs you could unleash?

TTYL, Trixie Hi Trixie, I know a few that are seriously on fleek and will certainly bring your mom up to speed on pet technology. Best part? They’re free and available for both iPhone and Android devices.

iKIBBLE. If you eat things that may or may not be edible.

Why you need it: Sniffing a crumb on the floor?

Fetch this app and find out if it’s OK to eat. Its top-notch rating system and doggy approval sounds make sure you’ll never eat harmful, dangerous foods again.

PRO PLAN P5 DOG TRAINING. For pups whose obedience skills are a little rusty.

Why you need it: It’s seriously loaded with training video clips and activity-tracking software to help set goals, learn skills and log progress anywhere you have your device.

BRING FIDO. When you go on vacation with your human.

Why you need it: It helps your human find dogfriendly hotels, parks, beaches, and tons more. You can even book the hotel on the app and review its pet policy.

PET FIRST AID BY AMERICAN RED CROSS. If you and a neighborhood raccoon got into a scuffle.

Why you need it: This app has all the tools you might need when an emergency strikes. You can locate the nearest animal hospital, learn to treat a bleeding wound, and prepare for a natural disaster.

Videos, quizzes and advice make Pet First Aid easy.

PAW PRINT PET HEALTH TRACKER. An easy way to keep track of your records and medications.

Why you need it: This official record retriever gets a copy of your health records from your vet and stores them, so they’re on hand for emergencies, a visit to the groomer, or a day at the park.

MAP MY DOG WALK. When you want to track your fitness.

Why you need it: Ready to run? This is a great way to log your exercise, even if it’s just a walk around the block. It tracks calories and maps favorite routes. Share photos and data with friends to show off your progress!

BARK CAM. Because you won’t sit still for the perfect picture.

Why you need it: Yaass! Finally, an app that uses sound to grab our attention before our people snap a shot! Tapping the shutter button triggers a sound that, one hopes, gets you to look at the camera lens. Once the right shot is taken, they can add text, filters, and fun stickers then share it on Instagram or Facebook.

DOG TRANSLATOR. When your human wonders what you’re thinking.

Why you need it: It’s a thing. This app — literally — records your bark and translates it into words your human will understand. Really? Not really. It’s for fun.

Remember, Trixie — and all you Northeast Florida pets who read Folio Weekly Magazine — new apps are constantly popping up, and the not-so-new apps can quickly get outdated or irrelevant. Check often to see what’s new, helpful, and fun for any of your devices! Happy uploading!

Davi mail@folioweekly.com ______________________________________ Davi is a brown dachshund with an appetite for adventure. He loves sweet potato treats, playing at the park with friends, and exploring the unknown.

BEASTS OF BURDEN: PET TIP OF THE WEEK DON’T BE A DOPE – NEVER GIVE PETS PEOPLE MEDICATION Medicines made for humans can kill your pet, says Georgia veterinarian Jean Sonnenfield, DVM. In 2010 the ASPCA listed human drugs in the top 10 pet toxins. NSAIDs, antidepressants, decongestants, and acetaminophen are just a few of the human drugs that are harmful to pets. Human drugs can cause kidney damage, seizures, and cardiac arrest in a dog or cat. If you suspect your pet has consumed your medication call the 24-hour ASPCA Animal Poison Control Center or find a 24-hour emergency vet clinic.

U P C O M I N G FIRST COAST ANGELS First Coast No More Homeless Pets hosts a night of fabulous food and drinks at the Cassat clinic, recapping the most impactful Angel Fund stories from the past year. This elegant dinner includes a presentation of Angel Fund rescues and testimonials from folks who adopted these Angels. Food will be catered by the Garden Truck Café.

This charity event will benefit First Coast No More Homeless Pets’ Angel Fund and the completion of the new Cassat Clinic – set to open this Spring. With the capability to serve three times as many pets, the new clinic is a significant milestone in spreading our no-kill mission.

34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 13-19, 2016

P E T

E V E N T S

Last fiscal year, FCNMHP helped save 277 dogs and cats from various medical ailments through the donor-funded Angel Fund. The total bill for these services was over $80,000.

FCNMHP started this program to combat against economic euthanasia, which is a sad but true statistic documenting the amount of pets euthanized every year from lack of funds. These pets could be saved, as many of their aliments are treatable – just expensive.

Three Angel Fund owners will be invited to give their testimonies in front of the guests, with a slideshow of pictures and video for each. Guests will be invited to fill a wall with “paws” which they can purchase to raise funds for the Angel Fund.

Thursday, February 25, 2016 from 6:30 p.m.8:30 p.m.; Cassat Avenue Clinic at 464 Cassat Avenue Jacksonville; tickets $103.49–$709.95, avaialable through eventbrite.com. Info available at fcnmhp.org or call 904-520-7900.

CHARIOTS OF FUR Ready to run a 5K? Register to participate in The Chariots of Fur Beach Run on Saturday, Feb. 6 on Jax Beach. The Beach Run & Festival is an annual fundraising event that benefits the work of St. Francis Animal Hospital. Post-race festivities include live music, vendors, contests, food trucks, dogs available for adoption, kids’ activities, a raffle with great prizes and a silent auction. Visit saintfrancisanimalhospital. org/chariots-of-fur-5k-beach-run for all the details.

DOGGIE DIPS Fernandina Beach Parks & Recreation Department is sponsoring this fun swimming pool activity for dogs and their owners, held from 2-3 p.m. Jan. 30, Feb. 27, March 26 and April 23 at Atlantic Recreation Center, 2500 Atlantic Ave., Fernandina Beach; and at MLK Center, 1200 Elm St.,

ADOPTABLES

MYSTERY Love is no riddle to this sweetie!

I’m a very affectionate little girl. I used to live in a house with other dogs and cats, so I’d fit in almost anywhere.

Some people say black cats are bad luck, but I know that’s not true! I’m 2 years old, spayed, and ready to fi nd my forever home. Come meet me and make it my lucky day! For adoption information, visit jaxhumane.org

Fernandina Beach. The fee is $5 per dog. There are guidelines for this: No dog bullies, two dogs per owner maximum, and no humans in the pool. For details, call 904-310-3350 ext. 1. Proceeds support a free swimming lessons program for humans.

FLAPJACK FUNDRAISER BREAKFAST Parrots Heads in Natural Settings holds a fundraiser 8-10 a.m. Jan. 16 at Applebee’s, 6251 103rd St., Westside; tickets are $10 for breakfast; proceeds benefit First Coast No More Homelss Pets. 693-2833, kathylb@bellsouth.net.

BARK & BOWL IV It’s never too early to make plans with your best friend. The North Florida Chapter of the National Canine Cancer Foundation hosts a fun event that benefi ts dogs everywhere while striking out

ADOPTABLES

ZAINE Let’s go running together!

This playful pup is brimming with personality! He loves to play in the yard and learning new tricks; he is also favorite among the volunteers.

Zaine recently went on a Buddy Run along the river, and he had a blast! If you’re looking for a running partner, Zaine is your man. For adoption details, visit jaxhumane.org

canine cancer, 6-9 p.m. Jan. 23 at Bowl America Mandarin, 10333 San Jose Blvd., 571-5829.

Bowling, drink specials, and raffle prizes. Donations are tax-deductible, 877-411-3436.

PAWS PARK, WINGATE PARK Open 5 a.m.-10 p.m. daily (closed Thur. for maintenance) at 199 Penman Rd. S., Jax Beach, 247-6236. Membership is $50 – and here’s what you and your pup can enjoy: large dog area, small dog area, handicapped parking, restrooms, automatic watering bowls, benches, trees, poop bag dispensers and waste bins.

To see your pet event here, send event name, time, date, location with complete street address and city, admission price, contact number/website to print, to mdryden@ folioweekly.com – at least two weeks before the event.

JANUARY 13-19, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35

FREEWILL ASTROLOGY

FOLIO WEEKLY MAGAZINE CROSSWORD by MATT JONES. Presented by

SAN MARCO 2044 SAN MARCO BLVD. 398-9741

PONTE VEDRA

PETER PAN, ALFRED E. NEUMAN, SUFJAN STEVENS, HUGH LAURIE & MONEY

SOUTHSIDE

AVONDALE THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA AVENUES MALL 3617 ST. JOHNS AVE. 330 A1A NORTH 10300 SOUTHSIDE BLVD. 388-5406 280-1202 394-1390

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Let Free Entertain Youâ&#x20AC;? (You know the freestyle drill.)

ACROSS 1 DIY handicrafts site 5 â&#x20AC;&#x153;If things were to continue like so ...â&#x20AC;?

15 â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Clothed Majaâ&#x20AC;? painter 16 Taken guy 17 Beach bird 18 Tow-away zone destination 19 â&#x20AC;&#x153;10 Items or ___â&#x20AC;? (checkout sign grammarphiles hate) 21 Ardent admirers 22 They may be collateral if buying new wheels 28 Recede gradually 30 Long-hitting clubs 31 Word before Jon or Wayne 32 No pro show, yo 36 Vigoda whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s still alive 37 Big name in toothbrushes 38 Vaccine target 39 Chuck an attempted three-pointer into the stands, e.g.

43 Past British Poet Laureate Hughes 44 Multilayered dessert popularized in 2015 45 Abbr. after a proof 46 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Go ahead, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t mind meâ&#x20AC;?

49 Juniorsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; exam (abbr.)

50 Carter and Spelling, for two

53 59 60 61

23 Place to keep your 40 Weight training Tetleys and Twinings partner 24 Mrs. Murphy 41 Bargain-basement Mysteries author unit ___ Brown 42 The Memory of Trees 25 Simile segment, Grammy winner maybe 46 1990 NBA Finals 26 Annoys by staying MVP ___ Thomas outside the lines?

47 Nutcase 27 NYSE symbol for a 48 Give a long-winded company that keeps talk going and going DOWN 49 Sgts.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; underlings 1 Brand in the frozen 28 Support Your Local Sheriff! actor Jack 51 Edible seaweed used breakfast section for sushi 29 Benjamin 2 Go from gig to gig 52 Roasting device Netanyahuâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 3 Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re represented 54 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Was ___ das?â&#x20AC;? nickname by fingers in charades 55 Treasured document?

33 Full of memorable 4 Conn. school lines 56 A Kiss Before Dying 5 Half of â&#x20AC;&#x2122;80s author Levin 34 Peter Fondaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s synth-pop duo Yaz Gold-en role 57 California red, briefly 6 Comedian Minchin 35 Paul of Anchorman 58 Suffix with winning 7 Savion Gloverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s specialty Solution to â&#x20AC;&#x153;Middle Câ&#x20AC;?

8 PPO alternative (No need for piano lessons here) (1/6/16) 9 ___ START (Tobiasâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; misinterpreted ) / $ + $ 5 ' * 7 + ( 0 Arrested Development 5 ( 3 7 , 9 2 / , 5 , 3 ( license plate , 7 6 1 2 7 $ % , * ' ( & $ / 10 Highest Scrabble tile ( % 2 2 . / $ ; value ' ( 6 , / 8 0 8 , 5 5 , % 11 Dr. Seuss title animal ' $ 7 6 8 1 7 5 8 & ( 6 8 & 5 ( : + < 1 2 7 7 $ % 12 Lion in Chronicles 5 $ , 6 ( ( 2 1 6 ( ' , 7 of Narnia 1 2 5 0 $ 1 / ( & $ 5 1 $ < 13 Adult Swim fare, 3 / 2 9 ( 5 2 3 7 , & for short 1 7 + 7 2 6 6 ( 7 $ / , $ 14 Lord of the Rings ' 8 + 2 * , / / tree creatures 5 ( & $ 3 : + $ 7 < 2 8 6 2 : 20 Ancient Greek 2 5 ' ( $ / $ 1 $ 2 0 ( 1 portico Cheat Lying over Gambles Hatcher of Desperate Housewives 62 Summer dress uniform component, maybe 63 Cut down to size

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36 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 13-19, 2016

ARIES (March 21-April 19): You love autonomy. You specialize in getting freedom and sovereignty you need. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re naturally skilled at securing independence from influences that might constrain imagination and limit self-expression. A sticking point: If you want power to help shape group processes, give up some autonomy. To motivate allies to work toward shared goals, practice the art of interdependence.

The next test of your ability to do so happens soon.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): â&#x20AC;&#x153;Nothing is really work unless youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d rather be doing something else,â&#x20AC;? according to Taurus writer James M. Barrie (1860-1937), who created the Peter Pan stories. Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s your challenge and invitation in the months ahead? Increase the amount of time you spend that doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t qualify as work. See how much and how often you indulge in outright play. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no better way to attract grace and generate good fortune.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Get in touch with your madness. And donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t tell me you have no madness. We all do. When I use the word â&#x20AC;&#x153;madness,â&#x20AC;? I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t mean howling rage, hurtful lunacy, or out-of-control misbehavior. I call on your experimental part thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not always polite and reasonable; the exuberant rebel attracted to wild truths rather than calming lies; the imaginative seeker who pines for adventures on the frontiers of your understanding. Now is a great time to tap into your inner maverick.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): From Dorianne Lauxâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s poem â&#x20AC;&#x153;Antilamentationâ&#x20AC;?: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Regret nothing. Not the cruel novels you read to the end just to find out who killed the cook. Not the insipid movies that made you cry in the dark. Not the lover you left quivering in a hotel parking lot. Not the nights you called god names and cursed your mother, sunk like a dog in the living room couch, chewing your nails.â&#x20AC;? I hope Lauxâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s purifying rant incites you to unleash yours. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a good time to summon an expanded appreciation for your pastâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s twists and tweaks, even the torturous ones.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): â&#x20AC;&#x153;Modesty is the art of drawing attention to whatever it is youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re being humble about,â&#x20AC;? said Alfred E. Neuman, the fictitious absurdist whose likeness is often on Mad magazineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cover. Nowâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a good time to embody this aphorism. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re in a perfect position to launch a charm offensive by being outrageously unassuming. The less you brag about you and the more you praise others, the better able youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be to get just what you want. Being unegotistical and non-narcissistic is an excellent strategy to serve selfish needs.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): â&#x20AC;&#x153;To go wrong in oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s own way is better than to go right in someone elseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s,â&#x20AC;? says a character in Fyodor Dostoyevskyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Crime and Punishment. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t always agree with that. Sometimes our wrong ideas are so delusional, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re better off being interrupted and redirected by othersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; wiser insights.

For the near future, use Dostoyevskyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s words. One key principle? Brandish your perspectives. Even if theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not totally right and reasonable, they lead to what you need to learn next.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): â&#x20AC;&#x153;I love kissing,â&#x20AC;? testifies singer-songwriter Sufjan Stevens. â&#x20AC;&#x153;If I could kiss all day, I would. I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t stop thinking about kissing. I like kissing more than sex

because thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no end to it. You can kiss forever. You can kiss yourself into oblivion. You can kiss all over the body. You can kiss yourself to sleep.â&#x20AC;? Temporarily adopt this expansive obsession. Astrological omens suggest you need more sweet sensual tender interaction than usual. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll unleash sweet sensual tender emotions and thoughts, which will awaken a surge of dormant creativity. Which you also need.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): â&#x20AC;&#x153;Everything has been said before,â&#x20AC;? said French author AndrĂŠ Gide, â&#x20AC;&#x153;but since nobody listens, we have to keep going back and beginning all over again.â&#x20AC;? Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re about to be temporarily exempt from this cynical formulation. According to my astrological omen-reading, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be able to drive home certain points youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been trying to make for quite a while. The people who most need to hear will finally be able to get your meaning. This breakthrough generates optimal results if you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t gloat. Be grateful and subdued.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Do you want more money? Are there treasures you wish you could have, but canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t afford them? Are any exciting experiences and lifeenhancing adventures off-limits because of low resources? If you answer yes, nowâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an excellent time to formulate plans and take action to gather increased wealth. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t guarantee total success, but I promise your chance to make progress will be higher than usual. Cosmic tendencies lean in the direction of you getting richer quicker â&#x20AC;&#x201C; if you collaborate, financial magic could materialize.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a terrible thing to wait until youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re ready,â&#x20AC;? proclaims actor Hugh Laurie. He continues: â&#x20AC;&#x153;No one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready.â&#x20AC;? Too extreme for me; I believe proper preparation is essential. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got to get educated about challenges we want to take on. We need to develop at least some skills to master goals.

On the other hand, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s impossible to ever be perfectly prepared, educated and skilled. If you postpone your quantum leaps of faith until every contingency is accounted for, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll never leap. Right now, Laurieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s view is good advice.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Fate has transformed a part of your life you didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t feel ready to have transformed. No sympathies, though, because I know a secret you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know about yet. The mythic fact: Whatever you imagine youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve had to let go of will come back in a revised and revivified form â&#x20AC;&#x201C; maybe sooner than you think. Endings and beginnings weave their mysteries together in unforeseen ways. Be receptive to enigmatic surprises.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Good news: Your eagerness to think big is one of your superpowers. Bad news: Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also one of your liabilities. Though it lets you see how everything fits together, it may cause you to overlook details about whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s undermining you. Good news: Your capacity for intense empathy is a healing balm for you and others. You can potentially be a genius of intimacy.

Bad news: Your intense empathy can make you fall prey to emotional manipulation of those with whom you empathize. Good news: Your willingness to explore darkness is what makes your intelligence profound.

Bad news: Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also why you wrestle so fiercely with fear. Good news: In the next four weeks, positive aspects of all these qualities will be ascendant.

Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

JANUARY 13-19, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37

NEWS OF THE WEIRD ADD 2, CARRY THE 1 … NO, WAIT …

UH … DIVIDE BY 12?

A tractor-trailer driver with a load of bottled water tried to make it over a historic bridge in Paoli, Indiana, on Christmas Day. The obvious outcome: 35 tons of water starts across a limit-6-tons span. The driver told police she saw the 6-ton sign but didn’t know how that “translated” to pounds.

LEAD A HORTICULTURE …

Among the activists denouncing a proposed solar-panel farm at a December Woodland (North Carolina) Town Council meeting were a husband and wife certain that vegetation near the panels would die because the panels would (the husband said) “suck up all the energy from the sun.” His wife (described as a “retired science teacher”) explained the solar panels prevent “photosynthesis” (and also, of course, cause cancer). The council voted a moratorium on the panels.

CHECK’S IN THE MAIL

Paul Stenstrom of Tarpon Springs, Florida, is among those lucky few to have found a bright side of federal bankruptcy law, having lived in his mortgaged home for free from 2002 until 2013 by using the law to stave off foreclosure.

Though none of his 15 petitions was approved, he followed each one immediately with another petition; it wasn’t until 2013 that one judge finally declared Stenstrom a “serially abusive filer,” barring further petitions for two years — at which point Stenstrom’s bank was able to conclude the foreclosure. When the two-year period was up in September 2015, Stenstrom quickly filed another bankruptcy petition — to keep from being evicted from the townhouse … he is four months behind on rent.

DUDE’S GOT BRASS

In December, Carlos Aguilera, 27, became the most recent brain-surgery patient to assist doctors by remaining conscious during the 12-hour operation, playing his saxophone to help assure surgeons that their removal of a tumor was not affecting his speech, hearing or movement. The operation, at Spain’s Malaga Regional Hospital, was supposedly Europe’s first; NOTW has reported two in America, including one on a guitar-strumming man in 2013 at UCLA Medical Center.

NERVY OR JUST STUPID?

Nurse’s aide Candace McCray, 36, is a recent theft suspect who wore some of the purloined jewelry when meeting police detectives investigating the theft. An assisted-living resident in Palm Beach Gardens described her missing gems, and McCray was questioned as someone with access to the woman’s room.

MY NAME IS MY NAME IS

Joshua Jording, 26, in Latrobe, Pennsylvania, became the most recent burglary suspect caught on surveillance video during the crime wearing a shirt with his name on it. It was later found in Jording’s home, along with a stash from the Dec. 2 burglary.

DUMB AND NAKED

Albert Luna, 19, was arrested in Coachella, California, in December and charged with swiping the keys while a Federal Express driver was unloading a package. The driver reported Luna later walked away when he couldn’t figure out how to drive the truck. Bonus: The arrest report noted that during the entire episode, Luna was naked.

PARDON ME, OFFICER, I DIDN’T SEE YOUR BADGE

Kyle Blair, 25, was arrested in Surrey, British Columbia, in November when he approached a car at an intersection and tried to pull the driver out. For one thing, the two men in the car were later described as “big, burly” guys, but more important, they were plainclothes police officers on a stakeout.

ALASKA SOUNDS LIKE A FUN PLACE

The passengers who had been riding with her in the car had run away, leaving Elena Bartman-Wallman, 23, behind the wheel of the vehicle, but completely oblivious on a cold December afternoon in Aleknagik, Alaska. Her car’s tires had started to smoke, because she had lodged her foot against the accelerator. The automobile was facing the wrong way on the highway, with its wheels spinning continuously (thus the smoke). By the time the police officers had arrived (to discover BartmanWallman passed out cold), the front tires had melted down to the rims.

Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net

WATER AISLE You: Commented on water price; beautiful blond hair, jeans, sweater, very warm and kind. Me: Gray hair, blue eyes, shirt, jeans. We both drink coffee; would love to share a cup with you. When: Jan. 9, morning. Where: Walmart@foursquare/U.S. 1 & Southside. #1586-0113 CHAMBLINS CHAMPION You had two enormous boxes of books. I held the door open for you. You: Blonde hair, glasses, great smile. Me: Tall, blonde. Would love to discuss literature sometime!

When: Dec. 29. Where: Chamblins Uptown. #1585-0106 WELCOME TO ME! You: Tall in dress shirt and tie. I walked by to get your attention, but you were on Bible app on phone. Please come back next Sunday, and I will try again. When: Jan. 3. Where: Moe’s @ Avenues. #1584-0106 NEED TLC You: Raven-haired nurse; funky glasses, chatting with co-worker. Me: Curiously smitten; backpack, sling; visiting pre-op over year ago, saw you eating fresh. We have some FB friends in common. Who are you? When: Oct. ’14 & now. Where: St. Vincent’s Subway/FB. #1583-0106 LET’S RIDE TOPLESS TOGETHER You: Sexy, dark, handsome, sideways ballcap-wearer, BMW convertible.

Me: Hot pink, caramel-covered sweetness, MB convertible. Pressed my horn, blew a kiss. Like a real one in the woods? You know where to fi nd me. When: Dec. 26. Where: Leaving UNF Nature Trails. #1582-1230 JAX BEACH EARLY MORNING PHOTOS Enjoying sunrise near 34th Ave.; struck up conversation. Asked to take photos of you. You: White shorts; got a little wet as waves caught you. Never gave you my card to send the pix. When: Sept. 28. Where: Jax Beach 34th Ave. S. #1581-1230 TATTOOED REDHEAD HOLDING ARCHAEOLOGY BOOKS After clarifying sweater was indeed women’s, you laughed at my remark about you fitting into clothes. Our interaction made my day. Judging from book cover, know carbon dating’s your thing. Coffee dating sometime?

When: Dec. 11. Where: UNF Bookstore. #1580-1230 PUT MY FIRE OUT You: Cute fireman, glasses, looking at stuffed dinosaurs. Wish you’d put my burning desire for you out with your big fire hose. Me: Brunette, yoga pants, hoodie. Too shy to introduce myself. Wish I’d said hello. When: Dec. 9. Where: Publix off Kernan & Atlantic. #1579-1216 ALRIGHT NOW! You: Tall, handsome, sweet leaf. Me: Just a duck. Let’s play Jenga @ Across The Street!

When: Dec. 1. Where: Post & Edgewood. #1578-1216 GOOD LUCK CHARM TEACHER You: Blonde, glasses, long red skirt and shirt, wrist tattoo, near where I studied for final, grading papers. We talked, you said good luck, get sleep. Me: Gray sweater, white collared shirt. Coffee, talk again? When: Dec. 3. Where: Bold Bean Coffee Roasters Riverside. #1577-1209 GIFT WRAP MY HEART You: Beautiful, tall, brunette, green eyes, longest eyelashes ever. Me: Secret admirer.

We chatted; fell for little freckle by your left eye, infectious smile. Could listen to you talk gift-wrapping all day. Burger and fries? When: Last week. Where: MOSH. #1576-1209 PLUMBA A penguin sighting that can only compare to Anton Ego’s flashback in Ratatouille; you bring me back to a happier place. Sweaty palms for this lucky bear clearly indicate that we miss each other’s face. One434Evr. When: Anytime. Where: Anywhere. #1575-1209 GREEN SUNGLASSES I see you everywhere. Can I take your sunglasses and smack you with them? You’re too

38 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 13-19, 2016

cute for your own good. You’ll never notice me though...

When: Every day. Where: FSCJ. #1574-1209 FOUND UR GIFT CARD, DONATED Target gift card, “To: J_ From: W_” Used card and my $30, bought and donated socks to Salvation Army. Sorry didn’t find you; hope you understand & appreciate doing good for others. When: Nov. 22. Where: Southside Loop parking lot. #1573-1202 CELTIC CUTIE @ CELTIC FEST You hugged me. I gave you band picture. You left with your friends too soon.

Been thinking about that meeting ever since. Would like to continue where we left off. When: Nov. 14. Where: Jax Beach Celtic Fest. #1572-1125 LAVENDERISH HAIR You: Cute, blondish lavender hair, print dress; dropped phone outside library reopening.

Me: Riverside guy, glasses, blue shirt; picked up phone, chatted. Met again; you left. Wanted to talk more.

Like to get acquainted further. When: Nov. 14. Where: Willowbranch Library. #1571-1125 LITTLE RIVER BAND CONCERT You: Tall, long-haired dude, very handsome. Chatted in box offi ce @ Florida Theatre. Me: Too shy to introduce myself. I’ll be @ Art Walk Nov. 19. If feeling’s mutual, bring me a flower.

When: Nov. 5. Where: Florida Theatre. #1570-1111 FIRST WATCH HOT BREAKFAST You: Hot guy, adorable dog; sexy smile, gorgeous blue eyes, captured my heart. Me: In love with you. Hoping you’ll give me chance someday to be your Queen. Let’s run away to the islands together. When: Oct. 31. Where: First Watch Ponte Vedra. #1569-1104 IT MATTERS To me ... in my dreams. Remember still, our time. Your lips, your intoxicating scent. US, together.

One night of bliss maybe? Mexican magic? When: Oct. 7.

Where: Los Portalas. #1568-1104 MOM WANTS YOU Daughter and I outside Lynch’s. You: LEO on bicycle, handsome, great calves! Later, dealt with Walgreens drunk. Little shy … my daughter said to get your attention. Drinks, Super Troopers, Training Day … what’s your speed? When: Oct. 13. Where: Lynch’s Jax Beach. #1567-1028 YOU WAVED BACK GRINNING You: Bad-ass-looking guy, big black truck. Me: Soccer-mom-looking girl, silver minivan. Waved at you driving on 295-N, played a little cat-and-mouse, you got off on I-95-S. Let me prove looks can be deceiving. When: Oct. 3, 7-ish. Where: 295 North. #1566-1021 NOTHING MATTERS Self-hypnosis can’t stop me thinking from of you. No matter where I go and what I do, I still remember those beautiful eyes and the way my heart jumps when I see you. When: Oct. 6. Where: Luigi’s Pizza. #1565-1014 HOT MINI DRIVER You: Getting in red Mini near SunRay, hot white-rimmed glasses. Drake blasting from car as you almost hit in crosswalk; gave me a thumbs-up. Me: Tall skater nerd, Donuts For Jesus shirt. You Let’s hang out. When: Sept. 29. Where: Five Points. #1564-1014 TALL, DARK, HANDSOME, PATRIOTS FAN Jags/ Pats game. You: Pats shirt, jeans; with friends by bus watching game. Me: Short wavy auburn hair, Jags tank, cut-offs. Locked eyes as I went to sit. Heart skipped a beat at your handsomeness. Drinks on me, celebrate your win? :) When: Sept. 27. Where: Mellow Mushroom Jax Beach. #1563-0930 BOWL ME OVER Me: In the mood to be pinned. You: Lakers jersey. Bowling but said you’d rather play video games. Said you’re about to take a trip into Asia. Can we bowl balls together in Asia? When: Sept. 25. Where: Jax Lanes. #1564-0930

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