01/25/17 "We will Not Go Away"

2 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 25-31, 2017

THIS WEEK // 1.25-1.31.17 // VOL. 29 ISSUE 43 COVER STORY

“WE WILL NOT [10]

GO AWAY”

Folio Weekly travels with local group to HISTORIC WOMEN’S MARCH on Washington STORY & PHOTOS BY CLAIRE GOFORTH

FEATURED F EATURED ARTICLES

PUFF, PUFF, PASS?

[5]

BY A.G. GANCARSKI FLORIDA SENATE to smoke out MMJ rules

BILLS TO WATCH

THE REAL PICTURE

[8]

[31]

BY JOHN DEBUS A local GREEN PARTY MEMBER takes issue with FW cover story

BY CLAIRE GOFORTH A breakdown of some interesting, WACKY AND CONTROVERSIAL BILLS coming to a Florida Legislature near you

COLUMNS + CALENDARS MAIL/B&B FIGHTIN’ WORDS OUR PICKS FROM THE EDITOR E PLURIBUS MUSIC

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FILM ARTS LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR DINING DIRECTORY PINT-SIZED CHEFFED-UP

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PETS CROSSWORD/ASTRO WEIRD/I SAW U CLASSIFIEDS BACKPAGE

DISTRIBUTION

Bobby Pendexter / cosmicdistributions@gmail.com PUBLISHER • Sam Taylor sam@folioweekly.com / 904.860.2465

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THE MAIL BULLS IN THE CABINET SHOP

RE.: “Silver Lining in the Trump Cloud,” by Billee Bussard, Jan. 4 DID BUSSARD WRITE THIS BEFORE TRUMP started naming his cabinet? Otherwise it is crazy article. Trump has nominated far worse people than anyone ever has before. Goldman Sachs is represented by five nominees; another is [an ex] ExxonMobil CEO who did business with horrible people from all over the world, especially Putin. I doubt many politicians could have ever thought up a group less likely to have anything but their own pocketbooks in mind.

Carol Corbitt via email

POWER TO THE GOOGLE

RE.: “First Time Highs,” by I. Emma Stoner, Jan. 4 MY FIRST TIME BUYING LEGAL WEED WAS ON our 20th year anniversary. We went to Seattle for two weeks. It was the second thing I did after arriving. For shits and giggles I asked Google, “WHERE CAN I GET SOME WEED AROUND HERE?” To my surprise it showed a map with about 30 locations. So after a 10-minute drive I was in a weed shop looking at a menu while I waited in line, which wasn’t very long (about 6 people). I purchased the liquid version because we were going on a week cruise to Alaska. The experience was like somewhere between a 7-Eleven and a fast food restaurant. As soon as I exited I raised my hands (and the weed) to the sky and said “POWER TO THE PEOPLE!” Needless to say, it accented one of our best getaways!

Bob Felton via email

STINKING UP THE ‘BLAZE OF GLORY’ RE.: “Corrine’s Day in Court,” by A.G. Gancarski, July 13 I NEVER DID SEE THE “BLAZE OF GLORY” THAT A.G. Gancarski wrote in Folio a few months ago

would accompany U.S. Rep. Ander Crenshaw’s departure from Congress.

There is faintly visible in Crenshaw’s wake a foul-smelling, inglorious effulgence that emanates from his monumental blunder to vote to invade and occupy Iraq.

Michael Hoffmann via email

MAKE ALT WEEKLIES GREAT AGAIN

RE.: “America is Great,” by Sean T. Smith, Dec. 28 I AM BRAND NEW TO JAX BEACH SO I’VE BEEN picking up local mags, such as yours, trying to learn about my new home. I was so disturbed by the article on the back page the most recent edition.

Conservatives didn’t riot in the streets when Obama was elected. Our nation’s debt has doubled, there was not one word pertaining to budgets/economics in the article. Trump is not threat to gays, women, or Millennials. Look what Bill did in office to a young female employee.

You guys remind me of Orlando Weekly, dish it but can’t take it. Keep writing though, not many people read these days anyway, all the while, we will stay busy Making America Great Again for ALL people.

Trey Holliman via email

MELISSA NELSON HAS A NEW FAN

RE.: “Person of the Year: Melissa Nelson,” by Claire Goforth, Dec. 28 I AM WRITING TO COMMEND YOU ON YOUR piece in FW covering our new State Attorney. I didn’t follow the SA campaign very closely, but after reading this article I wish I had. The article is well written and I look forward to following Mrs. Nelson’s SAO. Thank you for introducing her to me.

Happy New Year!

Shanell Davis-Bryant via email

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BRICKBATS + BOUQUETS BOUQUETS TO ST. AUGUSTINE DISTILLERY Proving that it’s not just the coolest place in St. Auggy to sip a truly top-shelf libation, St. Augustine Distillery has pledged to donate $5 from every bottle of liquor sold on Martin Luther King Jr. Day to help renovate the Lincolnville Museum & Cultural Center. Established in 2005, the center is housed at the site of the former Excelsior High School, which was the city’s only African-American school from 1925-’28. Today the center both preserves and celebrates Lincolnville’s storied black heritage.

BOUQUETS TO BESTBET When it comes to community-minded fundraising, you can definitely double-down on bestbet’s employees. Led by Hailey Samble and Pat Heil, bestbet’s annual United Way campaign donated more than $25,000 to the local branch of the nonprofit organization. The Vegas-style dog racing and poker hotspot’s more than 700 employees ponied up and pitched in to help United Way of Northeast Florida’s continual implementation of myriad projects, ranging from education and health programs to free tax aid and elder care advocacy.

BOUQUETS TO SHANNON SCHMIDT Shannon Schmidt is surely at the head of the class. The Flagler College history and English major has been invited to speak about gender quality at the United Nations as a delegate for the Commission on the Status of Women, which is dedicated to promoting women’s rights, empowerment and advancement on a global level. As part of the UN’s Economic & Social Council, every year the commission addresses a different issue; 2017’s is the economic empowerment of women. In her role as a delegate, Schmidt will discuss women’s economic progress and how to sustain and evolve these positive changes the world over. Go, Shannon!

DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? HOW ABOUT A BRICKBAT? Send submissions to mail@folioweekly.com; 50 word maximum, concerning a person, place, or topic of local interest.

4 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 25-31, 2017

FOLIO VOICES : FIGHTIN’ WORDS Florida Senate to SMOKE OUT MMJ rules

PUFF, PUFF, PASS? A FEW SHORT WEEKS AGO, FOLIO WEEKLY RAN a cover story attempting to outline the nearterm future of medical marijuana in Florida.

Even before the legislative session begins its “60 days” in early March, we’re seeing a robust debate emerge between two powerful senators, with one filing a bill intended to offer a regulatory framework, and the other immediately raising questions.

On Jan. 19, Sen. Rob Bradley filed Senate Bill 406.

In essence, the bill is one attempt to put meat on the bones of Amendment 2, including establishing prescription criteria, penalties for trying to “fraudulently” prescribe or acquire MMJ, and conditions for expansion of the market of acceptable medical marijuana providers.

As the patient registry grows, more Medical Marijuana Treatment Centers will come on line. Not immediately — but within six months of the user count hitting certain thresholds (250K, 350K, 400K, 500K and so on) — five more MMTCs will be added.

Bradley has used his power in the Senate to shape a “go it slow” approach to the cannabis industry. He framed his press release quote to announce the bill in that gradualism.

“In 2014, the Florida Legislature legalized low-THC medical marijuana, and in 2016 expanded the medical marijuana system to provide legal access to marijuana for terminally ill Floridians,” wrote Bradley in the release, the day he filed the bill.

“Floridians want even more options, speaking loud and clear at the polls in November by passing Amendment Two. This bill significantly expands the current medical marijuana system to give Floridians the relief they have demanded, and it does so safely and quickly,” Bradley added.

Indeed, rules are to be laid down by July 3, including the beginning of a registry system for caregivers, patients and doctors. By October, the registry system should be fully up and running.

MMJ, in its current form, is strictly controlled in Florida. There are significant disincentives for prescribing beyond the letter of the law. Bradley’s bill would codify that. However, there’s going to be at least one more proposed legislation sooner rather than later. Sen. Jeff Brandes, a Pinellas County Republican, is likely to file it.

Almost immediately after Bradley filed his bill, Brandes was pushing a counternarrative.

“I am encouraged that Senator Bradley’s proposal expands access to medical marijuana for more patients, and I am further encouraged that his proposal begins to chip away at the unnecessary regulatory hurdles burdening

Medical Marijuana Treatment Centers.

However, I believe the voters of Florida voiced their overwhelming support for a new approach to the regulation of medical marijuana in this state, not a revision to the existing framework,” Brandes said in a statement the same day.

“I am continuing to work on what I believe is the most free-market option to address the implementation of Amendment 2. I look forward to releasing my proposal in the coming weeks and working with Senator Bradley as well as my fellow colleagues to implement the will of the Florida voters,” Brandes added.

What will that “free-market option” look like?

It could have a carve-out for delivery services in cities that have retail moratoria. It almost certainly would remove the cartelized and lobbied-up restrictions limiting outfits that can make money off this industry. It might also expand the allowable conditions for treatment to include maladies like recurrent nausea, muscle spasms and seizures.

The Florida Senate is a deliberative body, almost to a fault. The Bradley bill’s main weakness is that there are built-in barriers to access. The current set-up, one which the Bradley bill would codify, requires a Kabuki theater of proving to multiple doctors that the medicine would benefit a person.

That kind of overregulation could be seen as bad faith by some, and almost certainly will bolster the position of the black market — as people who could benefit from MMJ might bristle at the hoops through which they have to jump to prove their suffering to a medical professional from one of two very lobbiedup doctor groups (The Florida Medical Association and the equivalent for osteopaths).

A number of things could happen from here this session.

One scenario involves the Bradley bill or the Brandes bill prevailing. Then the bigger challenge: getting it through the much more conservative House. Bradley’s bill might be an easier sell there. Another scenario involves compromise: The bills are reconciled, and groundwork is laid in the House to move the reconciled version along. House Speaker Richard Corcoran is in Bradley’s camp, having said he’s going to take a literalist approach to the constitutional amendment.

The third scenario? Gridlock, or crash and burn. That doesn’t work for Brandes or Bradley, two ambitious, smart pols who have plans beyond the Senate.

A.G. Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com Twitter/AGGancarski

JANUARY 25-31, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5

SOUND INVESTMENTS WINTER RECORD & CD SHOW

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Looking for that elusive Shaggs’ bootleg, Pablo Cruise reissue, or a 15-LP boxed set of Stockhausen’s electro-acoustic hog calls? Look no further! The Winter Record & CD Show features 14 vendors offering music schwag including vinyl, CDs, cassettes, VHS tapes and other rare and collectible music memorabilia.

1-6 p.m. Sunday, Jan. 29, Birdies, Riverside, facebook.com/birdies.

OUR PICKS DECKED IN THE FACE!

KING OF KONA 2017

Even though you might be the Ollie master of the cul-de-sac, do you have what it takes to wear the crown, brah?!

The King of Kona skateboard festival expects more than 250 longboard and street skaters all vying for the win, along with camping, live music, skate hockey and cookouts. 11 a.m.-11 p.m.

Friday, Jan. 27; 10 a.m.midnight Saturday, Jan. 28, and 11 a.m.-6 p.m. Sunday, Jan. 29, Kona Skatepark, Arlington, $40-$100, kingofkona.com.

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THE GAMBLER BIDS KENNY FAREWELL ROGERS

Over the course of his six-decadelong career, country legend Kenny Rogers has had more than 120 hit singles on both the country and pop charts, sold more than 100 million albums, and snagged every music award from the Grammy to the CMA. For Folio Weekly staffers, perhaps his greatest contribution to Western civilization is Kenny Rogers Roasters and his deliciously downhome chicken. Just ask Kramer from Seinfeld! You don’t have to “gamble” on good flavor from that Yardbird joint! We digress.

Old and new fans best represent: Rogers’ current run of shows, “The Gambler’s Last Deal,” is slated to be the now-78-year-old singer-songwriter-actor’s last tour.

8 p.m. Saturday, Jan. 28 with Linda Davis, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts, Orange Park, $53-$325, thcenter.org.

6 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 25-31, 2017

STANDUP DUDE PAUL RODRIGUEZ

One of the Original Latin Kings of Comedy, Mexican-American standup comedian-actor Paul Rodriguez first popped up on the pop culture radar beginning in the ’80s, eventually scoring roles in flicks like Born in East L.A., D.C. Cab (both Folio Weekly guilty pleasures), and his own directorial debut, A Million to Juan.

The 61-year-old Rodriguez was rated No. 74 on Comedy Central’s “100 Greatest Standups of All Time” and is a noted conservationist. Rodriquez is also a Republican, so we’re curious as to his views on Trump’s imminent “Wall of Welcome” running along the U.S.-Mexico border. Oh, well! 8 p.m.

Thursday, Jan. 26; 8 and 10:30 p.m. Friday, Jan. 27 and Saturday, Jan. 28, The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, Southside, $25-$35, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

REASONS TO LEAVE THE HOUSE THIS WEEK

THU

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FLICKS ’N’ KICKS JACKSONVILLE SHORT FILM SHOWCASE

Is the next Werner Herzog, Kenneth Anger, Margarethe von Trotta or (gulp) Tyler Perry currently living/starving in Duval? The Jacksonville Short Film Showcase & Contest features winning films by local filmmakers who created their works in randomly selected categories including genre, plot theme and main characters, all vying for a thumbs-up from the judges’ panel and coveted audience award, as well as cash prizes. 6:30-11 p.m. Thursday, Jan. 26, Sun-Ray Cinema, Riverside, $9.50; $8 military/teachers/students, $7 seniors, $5.50 kids 12 and under, sunraycinema. com, jaxshortfilmshowcase.com.

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JANUARY 25-31, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7

FROM THE EDITOR A breakdown of some interesting, WACKY AND CONTROVERSIAL BILLS coming to a Florida Legislature near you

SB 366/HB 231: NONPARTISAN ELECTIONS FOR STATE ATTORNEYS AND PUBLIC DEFENDERS This bill, filed concurrently in the Florida House and Senate by two locals, Sen. Audrey Gibson (D-District 6) and Rep. Tracie Davis (D-District 13), would make the offices of state attorney and public defender nonpartisan. The bill is proposed in reaction to numerous races around the state, including here in Duval County, that have been closed by write-in candidates, potentially at the behest of a political party to restrict the voting block to members of their own party. Locally, many civil rights activists were outraged when the state attorney’s race was closed to Democrats, primarily because 96 percent of African-American voters in the district are registered Democrats. Interestingly, the Florida Times-Union reports that local Sen. Aaron Bean (R-District 4) suggested to instead shift those races to a completely open primary like Duval’s municipal elections, with the best of the field going on to the general election; local Sen. Rob Bradley (R-District 5) merely wants to eliminate the write-in loophole; and Public Defender Charles Cofer, who beat Matt Shirk in the Republican primary, told the T-U that he supports the legislation so much, he’s willing to testify to its merits before the legislature. This one promises some heated debate before it’s all said and done.

HB 303: RELIGIOUS EXPRESSION IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS Courtesy of local Rep. Kimberly Daniels (D-District 14), this broad-reaching mountain of a bill would create a turnip truck of rights for kids and teachers to practice religion on school grounds, such as by wearing Church of Scientology hijabs (“A student may wear clothing, accessories and jewelry that display a religious message or symbol in the same manner and to the same extent that secular types of clothing, accessories and jewelry that display messages or symbols are permitted to be worn.”); answering “Satan created fossils of dinosaurs to make people doubt the Bible,” to “Which theory regarding the extinction of dinosaurs do you believe is correct?” on a science test (“A student may not be penalized or rewarded based on the religious content of his or her work if the coursework, artwork or other written or oral assignments require a student’s viewpoint to be expressed.”); or having church services at school attended and/ or proceeded over by teachers (“A student may pray or engage in religious activities or 8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 25-31, 2017

BILLS TO WATCH religious expression before, during and after the school day in the same manner and to the same extent that a student may engage in secular activities or expression.” and “A school district may not prevent school personnel from participating in religious activities on school grounds that are initiated by students at reasonable times before or after the school day if such activities are voluntary and do not conflict with the responsibilities or assignments of such personnel.”) Just imagine being the only kid playing on the jungle gym while your entire fourth grade class listens to your teacher at Bible study. What could possibly go wrong?

SB 70/HB 57: CRIMES EVIDENCING PREJUDICE This bill, filed by Sen. René García (R-District 36) and Reps. Neil Combee (R-District 39) and local Jason Fischer (R-District 16) would add categories to the list of victims protected from hate crimes. Categories that would be added include “actual or perceived race, sex, creed,” … “actual or perceived employment of the victim as a law enforcement officer or emergency service employee.” (Emphasis added) The addition of gender to this bill may prove controversial, as it may include gender non-conformity and transgender people.

“Actual or perceived race” may score a win with law enforcement frustrated at being unable to enhance penalties for crimes in which a victim wasn’t actually of the race the perpetrator had thought, but could be difficult to prove at trial. Adding creed, or religion, is likely to appease lots of folks, perhaps until rednecks start receiving enhanced penalties for crimes against Muslims. Adding police officers and emergency service personnel would create the first employment-based protection from hate crimes. Here in lock-’em-up-and-forget-’em Florida, it seems likely that the legislature will be amenable to these changes.

SB 72: VOTER REGISTRATION Sen. Jeff Clemens (D-District 31) has filed legislation that would create automatic voter registration for anyone who applies for or renews a driver’s license or state ID card. It will be interesting to watch this play out in the legislature, particularly if one side — or political party — tries to come up with reasonable-sounding tactics to kill legislation that would enable more people to participate in the democratic process. Smart money’s on, well, money being the thrust of their best argument, specifically the cost of shifting over to such a system.

SCR 194: EQUAL RIGHTS FOR MEN AND WOMEN Way back in 1972, the U.S. Congress approved an Equal Rights Amendment for women and men. To become part of the U.S. Constitution, 38 states had to ratify it by 1982. That didn’t happen and you may be surprised (read: not surprised at all) to learn Florida is one of the 15 holdouts. Though the deadline has long passed, there is renewed interest to get three more states to ratify the amendment and pressure Congress to extend the original deadline. Hence, this bill being filed by Sen. Gibson, along with a companion bill filed by Rep. Daisy J. Baez (D-District 114) in the Florida House. In December, Gibson reminded Florida Politics, “ERA has been filed every year hoping for ratification to get enough states to add the amendment to the Constitution.” Though some may see the bill as unnecessary, it would clarify the level of scrutiny courts give to claims alleging gender discrimination. For such claims, the U.S. Supreme Court has established intermediate scrutiny, also known as heightened scrutiny, which falls somewhere between rational basis and strict scrutiny, for such cases, a standard long criticized for being overly vague and inconsistently applied. Whether it passes or fails is anyone’s guess, but it is certain to be entertaining to listen to representatives who oppose the bill as they try not to trip over their own tongues by saying something that future opponents could use against them on the campaign trail. ’Cause if they do, their constituents can anticipate “Doesn’t support women” mailers and robocalls aplenty.

HB 311: AGREEMENT AMONG THE STATES TO ELECT THE PRESIDENT BY NATIONAL POPULAR VOTE Mere hours before President Donald Trump’s inauguration, Rep. Joe Geller (D-District 100) proposed legislation that would authorize Florida to award its electoral votes to the winner of the national popular vote. If enacted, Florida would join the 10 states and the District of Columbia that have already enacted such legislation. The bill will go into effect only if states and D.C. representing a total of 270 electoral votes enact similar laws.

It is not likely that this bill will get much traction among Republicans, but it is certainly reflective of the concerns shared by many liberal Americans.

Claire Goforth claire@folioweekly.com

FOLIO F OLIO V VO VOICES OICES : E PLURIBUS JAX

TAKING

HEART

At JASMYN, culture COUNTERS POLITICS

THEY’D CALL THE EXHIBIT “SHOW ME SOME Love.” Photographer Mary Atwood would lead five-week workshops. The kids were excited.

Then, two days before the first workshop, Omar Mateen shot up Pulse Nightclub in Orlando, murdering 49 people and injuring 53 others. The art the young people at JASMYN produced took a bleak turn.

Director of Development Angela Strain points to a framed photograph by a young man named Skai.

“He’s one of those people who seems happy all the time, like he never has a bad day,” she says. “So we were taken aback when his selfportrait showed us what he feels like inside.”

Black, gay, and having grown up poor, Skai has an upbeat affability that conceals a deeper need to understand, explain and defend his identity.

That struggle and creative energy infuse the atmosphere at JASMYN, the acronym that stands for Jacksonville Area Sexual Minority Youth Network. Housed in a set of historical buildings on the border of Riverside and Brooklyn, it serves the LGBTQ community ages 13 to 24.

JASMYN’s is a success story and a love story. It’s one of Northeast Florida’s most touching and hopeful progressive narratives.

It began in 1993, when Ernie Selorio Jr. posted a desperate appeal in Riverside’s Willowbranch Library. He had just come out to himself. He felt lonely and isolated.

He thought about suicide. The small support group that responded to his appeal numbered fewer than 10 people.

Cindy Watson volunteered for JASMYN from the beginning. Her first office was the trunk of her car. In 1998, she wrote JASMYN’s first grants for HIV education and became its executive director.

In 2012, JASMYN decided to “come out” to the community. It had kept kids safe and saved lives. JASMYN House, at 923 Peninsular Place, just beneath the flyover of I-95 onto I-10, had never used signage.

But the house had met its capacity. It served hundreds of young people a year, and into the two-story 1912 house JASMYN crammed its health clinic, administrative offices, counseling rooms, a kitchen and hangout space for kids.

Since the only way to grow and attract funds was for JASMYN to tell the city its story, it began its first public relations campaigns.

In 2015, donors purchased the house next door, and allowed JASMYN not only to spread out, but to honor the mantra, common to many nonprofits, of “not just making do, but making things right.”

The 1914 house, with bay windows, beveled glass, Ionic porch columns and Prairie-style stairway capitals, has an illustrious nonprofit history. In the 1970s, the Women’s Center of Jacksonville was founded in this house and, today, the Women’s Center’s rape recovery counselors visit JASMYN each week.

One-fifth of the young people JASMYN serves are “housing insecure.” Most who have been evicted by their parents don’t see couchsurfing as homelessness and don’t recognize potential exploitation. If they’re sexually abused at a homeless shelter, they may next decide to sleep under a bridge or spend all night with a book in a hospital emergency room.

Fifteen is the average age kids “come out.”

It’s also the average age they start to trade sex or are sexually assaulted. JASMYN’s “Kicked Out Fund” helps kids whose parents put them on the streets.

And if those statistics aren’t frightening enough, here are some more: Jacksonville is ninth in the nation for new HIV cases, and sixth for new AIDS cases.

“We say that HIV is no longer a death sentence,” Director Strain says, “but it’s still a life sentence.”

The side effects from HIV medication include kidney and liver damage. And shame.

Meanwhile, many of JASMYN’s kids live in a cross-section of identity struggles with race, ethnicity, and socioeconomic background.

The life expectancy for a trans woman of color, Strain says, is 35 years, about how long a woman might have lived in the Middle Ages.

JASMYN TREATS “THE WHOLE SELF,” OFFERING young people self-agency, privacy and independence. Last year, JASMYN served nearly 1,000 kids, mostly on campus, but also in schools.

E Pluribus Jax profiles unique individuals and groups that comprise and define our community.

Share your local subculture/ethnicity/religious minority/disability/hairstyle or other otherness at EPluribus@folioweekly.com.

KIDS CHOOSE JASMYN’S HOUSE COLORS. A poster etched with marker in the kids’ hangout room says, “Black Trans Lives Matter.” A mural that stretches across multiple panels in the back yard says, “No Pride for Some of Us without Liberation for All of Us.” When Ernie Selorio Jr. started JASMYN, Jacksonville had no such support network. In 2003, 16-year-old Laura Sgambettera founded the city’s first GSA, or Gay Straight Alliance, at Sandalwood High School.

And now Cindy Watson has her own office, and it’s not the trunk of her car.

JASMYN’s clinic works as a partnership of five separate entities, including University of Florida Health and Gilead Sciences, which sponsors the pilot program PrEP, or PreExposure Prophylaxis, a medication that greatly reduces the likelihood of contracting HIV from exposure.

Despite numerous frustrations, including the protracted failure of the city of Jacksonville to extend its Human Rights Ordinance to LGBTQ citizens, Strain feels optimistic.

Her optimism involves a great irony that should hearten progressives in the current political environment.

Culture often moves forward, despite or even counter to politics.

“It’s not just young people hearing, ‘We value you and love you as you are,’” Strain says, “but it’s families hearing, ‘We care about your son or your daughter or your sibling or your niece or nephew. They’re not only OK as they are, but this city, this community, values, needs and loves them.’”

Tim Gilmore EPluribus@folioweekly.com ______________________________________

JANUARY 25-31, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9

“WE WILL NOT

GO AWAY”

T

hey weren’t there to make history; they just wanted to be heard. In the end, however, their feet and voices and signs and songs marched them straight into the record books as the largest demonstration of its kind, and perhaps the most widespread global protest in history.

As the sun prepared to set over Dunn Avenue on Jacksonville’s Northside on Inauguration Day, more than 100 people waited to board two charter buses bound for the Women’s March on Washington. Other than gender — the overwhelming majority was women; our bus included a single token man — they represented a broad section of the community but, although they did not share one race, nor religion, nor job, country of origin or age, they were bound by something more meaningful than a question on a form — a common purpose. These men and women would spend the next two nights on a bus traveling to the nation’s capital and back to march for freedom, equality, the environment, immigrants, refugees,

Women and men, a half-million strong, marched on Washington, D.C. 10 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 25-31, 2017

STORY & PHOTOS BY CLAIRE minorities, iti women, LGBTQIA people l and d the oppressed the world over. And, to the person, protesting the presidency of newly inaugurated Donald J. Trump.

While four buses of Northeast Floridians marched in D.C. on Jan. 21, more than 600 sister marches, rallies and demonstrations would take place in all 50 states and on all seven continents, including local events in St. Augustine, Jacksonville and Fernandina Beach, where an estimated 1,000 people, including one very brave topless woman, took to the streets.

This record-shattering day that saw the single largest inauguration protest gather across the world was not the brainchild of a public relations team of experts; it was kicked off by Teresa Shook, a retired grandmother in Hawaii who started a Facebook page on Nov. 9, inviting 40 of her friends to march on Washington to protest Trump’s election. By the time she woke the following morning, on Facebook 10,000 people had indicated they were interested in attending.

Concurrently, thousands of miles away, activist Bob Bland, whose “Bad Hombre”

The styling of each pussyhat was a unique expression of creativity.

Folio Weekly travels with local group to HISTORIC WOMEN’S MARCH on Washington

GOFORTH

d “N t Woman” W ” T-shirts T hi t had h d raised i d and “Nasty $20,000 for Planned Parenthood in three days, posted her own similar event. With interest quickly catching on, within a day, Shook and Bland had joined forces. Momentum surged when the march captured the interest of the Pantsuit Nation Facebook group and its threemillion-plus membership. They soon enlisted seasoned activists Carmen Perez, Tamika Mallory and Linda Sarsour, who, along with Bland, organized a march that had all started with one angry grandmother.

Shook, who spoke at the march, told the LA Times, “I’m overwhelmed with joy. A negative has been turned into a positive. All these people coming together to unite to try and make a difference. That’s what we’re going to be doing for the next four years. I see it’s really going to happen.”

For most marchers on the streets of D.C. on Saturday, being there seemed no less than a calling. When a bus didn’t show in Tallahassee, those who could afford to travel another way gave their seats to those who could not and a few rented vans to take people

Duval County teacher Amy Hynes-Johnson (right) and many others focused on protecting women’s reproductive rights threatened by new legislation.

still without a ride. At the march, two young female seniors of the University of South Carolina said they’d decided on the spur of the moment to drive all night to be there. One woman said she’d dropped everything and hopped on a plane.

They just had to be there.

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n the Monday before the march, Crown Point Elementary teacher Amy Hynes-Johnson, 42, admitted that she’d been caught offguard by the results of the election. She’d fully expected Hillary Clinton to win, and handily.

“I was truly shocked … then when it emboldened people who were racist or antiimmigrant and anti-woman … ” she said, shaking her red curls.

At school the day after the election, she and friend Jennifer Oliver, communications chair for Duval County Council PTA, wept together about the results. The two women, who have eight children between them — Amy and her husband have six, Jennifer

Longtime Jacksonville arts advocate and activist Hope McMath.

and her husband two — have long been engaged with education issues but, aside from performing their civic duty at election time, before Trump’s surprising win, neither had taken as much interest in other political issues. Nor are they particularly partisan; both are Democrats, Jennifer’s husband is a Republican, Amy’s is an Independent. (Their husbands did not support Trump.)

After the election, Amy and Jennifer’s anguish faded into a desire to do something.

Then, in early December, Amy heard about the march. After giving it some thought and discussion, she and Jennifer decided to go, if only to experience the acceptance that they feel this community sometimes lacks for people with liberal or progressive views, views that in part drew them into friendship after they met at Amy’s school, where Jennifer, 32, volunteers.

“You feel so isolated, so persecuted, too,” Amy said.

Neither saw the Women’s March on Washington as a single issue, partisan protest.

It was more than that.

“It’s not just a Republican-Democrat issue.

I didn’t feel this way when [George W.] Bush was elected,” Amy said.

Nor did they know what they were getting into, other than that they were going to ride all night to the capital, march and ride all night back to Jacksonville.

“I don’t have any expectation,” Jennifer said.

The anticipation turned electric as we descended into a sea of marchers on the escalator to the Metro. The D.C. subway system would break its ridership record for a Saturday; the 1,001,613 Metro rides that were taken that day has been exceeded only once: When Barack Obama was inaugurated on Jan. 20, 2009, officials counted 1.1 million rides.

After a short ride on a packed train, we joined the waves of people walking toward Third and Independence, where speeches were scheduled to begin at 10 a.m.

Disoriented by the size and density of the crowd and realizing that it would take a herculean effort to get close enough to see the stage, we slowly made our way onto the National Mall amid much jostling and some confusion — no one seemed to have any idea where “it” was happening, it was just happening.

“This is exciting. There are so many people here. I’m so glad I came,” Jennifer said.

Though our plan was to stick together, after entering the mall, we were soon separated. I did not see Amy and Jennifer again until boarding the bus after 7 p.m.; instead spending the march with the professor from a local college who’d been my seatmate on the long journey from Jacksonville.

Like hundreds of thousands of others, we never got close enough to see more than a sliver of the jumbotron through the trees and, other than the occasional cheer that seemed to emanate from around the stage and ripple through the mall, we were essentially cut off from the speeches, harpooned in the sea of people waiting for the march to begin at 1:15 p.m.

Though some endeavored to find a better place to stand, elbowing through the thick

mass of bodies, many holding hands in a chain or touching the shoulders or back of the person in front of them to stay together, for several hours, most people packed into the mall simply remained where they were, talking, watching the crowd, taking photos and videos with cameras and cell phones (service was spotty at best) and joining chants and songs that spontaneously erupted. It was a feast for the eyes and ears.

There were pink “pussy hats” aplenty, most knitted by the wearer or a friend, banners and sashes bearing the names of causes, hometowns and states, costumes, buttons, balloons and signs of dizzying variety. Some signs were tongue-in-cheek and jesting — “We are the grandchildren of the witches you weren’t able to burn,” one woman lifted as

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ining up with the others waiting for the bus on Friday, Jennifer, whose quirky and, at times, crude humor earned her the proud moniker of being the “inappropriate” one, admitted that she’d already been moved to tears. The mood among the group was one of excited energy; people hugged, chatted and showed off signs, buttons, shirts, hats and other expressions of protest; some simply stood quietly and observed the scene, bags and coats puddled at their feet.

Chuckling, Amy said that a man in a pickup truck had circled the group, jeering and taunting them about Trump. Unfazed, many jeered back.

For the next 14 hours, nervous excitement gave way to the rhythm of the highway. We talked, toasted and, those who could manage it sitting upright, slept. Accompanying us on the road were scores of other buses carrying protesters; all told, before we even arrived in Washington, we had encountered riders traveling from Miami, St. Augustine, Tallahassee and Gainesville. At 5:30 a.m. in Ruther Glen, Virginia, 83 miles south of our destination, ours and the other Jacksonville bus were two of five at a packed gas station where a cheerful, tired line of women snaked through the store waiting for the bathroom as locals in camouflage — clearly taken aback — ogled and quietly stepped around. Pulling back out onto the highway, we counted 15 more buses at nearby gas stations.

The night’s rain was giving way to a foggy, grey morn when our bus joined the steady procession pulling up to Robert F. Kennedy Memorial Stadium just after 8 a.m. on Jan. 21. In all, more than 1,400 buses applied for parking permits for the march, six times more than Inauguration Day. Wearing orange sashes that said “Jacksonville Florida,” which one woman handed out upon our arrival, the marchers piled out, gathered their signs and joined a stream of people bound for the Metro and the streets and their place in history. Taking in the endless line of people walking to the march, like many, Jennifer briefly wept. Adrenaline surged and whatever fatigue we’d felt from our long journey vanished as we wound our way around RFK Stadium.

JANUARY 25-31, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11

“WE WILL NOT

Following what is recognized as the single largest protest in American history, no one knows what to expect next. But for President Trump’s first day in office, the protestors sent a strong, loud, and defiant message.

GO AWAY” <<< FROM PREVIOUS high as she could on the mall, “Queef on him,” a middle-aged woman proudly displayed in the street — others brought tears — “I’m marching for my wife,” a widower held, “I’m making my mom proud,” a young man carried — others elicited hugs from strangers — “My daddy enlisted during Vietnam, served 20+ years despite his flat feet, to stop being called a Nigger. He’s here today to stop you from judging us by our looks, making us use a coat hanger & grabbing us by the pussy. And to stop being called a Nigger!” a daughter and her father held up on the side of the street — some bore famous quotes — Laurel Thatcher Ulrich’s “Well-behaved women rarely make history,” Audre Lorde’s “Your silence will not protect you” — others merely expressed outrage, anger and disbelief — “This is fucked up,” “WTF,” “NO,” — others begged for unity, love, peace, truth and, many, action — “Yes we will.”

For several hours, we stood there, cold spreading up our legs through the metal covering on top of the reflecting pool beneath our feet. Though there was little to do but talk and watch the people around us, it felt less like waiting than participating in something momentous. Even before 11 a.m., people had started saying that they would speak of this experience until their dying day.

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sked why she was marching, D.C. metro-area resident Elizabeth Rosales said that she joined the workforce in a male-dominated field in 1982 when once a week her father, who was superior in rank to the men who supervised her, would “march her down to the coffee shop” past everyone in the office. She now believes he was making sure none of them harassed her. Rosales, whose daughter lives in Orange Park, said that she found out only later that the women she worked with were routinely sexually harassed by their supervisors and colleagues.

“Donald Trump is the epitome of those dirty old men I worked with,” she said, adding, “I don’t think these younger women today realize what we went through.”

Though the majority of marchers were women, large numbers of men turned out and, though many faces were white, Caucasians did not represent an overwhelming majority. By the end of the day, it seemed that every imaginable demographic had been represented. There were Syrian refugees, Russians, Iranians, LGBTQIAs, clergy of countless faiths, atheists, blind people, deaf people, babies in tiny pink pussy hats, octogenarians in wheelchairs, rich, poor, young, old, first-time marchers, lifetime activists, Republicans, Democrats, Socialists, and every race on the planet. We saw signs in Spanish, Arabic, Turkish, German and Russian, talked to protestors from as far away as Austria, Maine, Colorado, California.

A young man carrying a sign on which he’d written a Russian phrase on one side told us in accented English that it translated to “Not one step back.”

“It’s a Stalin quote,” he said, “It’s the only thing [Trump] understands.”

The only people who seemed to not be in attendance at the Women’s March on Washington were counter protestors; throughout the entire day, we did not see a single sign of opposition to the march or its causes, nor heard a single jeer of contempt.

12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 25-31, 2017

Perhaps they all stayed home or, seeing the size and passion of the crowd, changed their plans.

Police and other authorities were so few within the mall that, if violence or vandalism had broken out, mass chaos could easily have erupted. But out of this crowd of a half-million, not one single arrest related to the march was made in D.C., nor have any arrests been reported from any of the more than 600 sister marches that took place across the globe. At press time, estimates of the total attendance at sister marches ranges from more than 1 million to upward of 3 million or more. In truth, we may never know exactly how many people took part. Some marches were planned weeks in advance, others a few days, and some seemed to spontaneously converge in the streets with little or no aforethought or coordination.

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hough some people tried by climbing trees, signs, traffic signals, benches, bleachers and vans, or by making their way to the upper floors and rooftops of adjacent buildings, no matter where you stood, it was impossible to take in the scope of the crowd at once. Spotting the familiar face of former Cummer Museum Director Hope McMath, who’d traveled on the other bus from Jacksonville, came as a surprise.

Shortly after 1 p.m., we guessed that the speeches were over when the crowd slowly seemed to start moving toward the streets on either side of the mall. A young woman nearby climbed onto a man’s shoulders and confirmed that people were starting to march, so we joined the flow heading in the direction of Independence Avenue.

As people took to the streets, the chants became more frequent and passionate. “Show me what democracy looks like,” a man cried into a bullhorn from atop a van; “This is what democracy looks like,” the crowd roared back.

“My body, my choice,” women yelled; “Her body, her choice,” men yelled in response.

“Black lives matter,” was one of the more frequent choruses, as were “We need a leader, not a creepy Tweeter,” and “Build a fence around Mike Pence,” and, the ubiquitous chant that will probably come to be known

as the anthem of the Women’s March on Washington: “We will not go away. Welcome to your first day.”

Early on at one intersection, we heard sirens in the distance as the march was abruptly rerouted by police rapidly placing barriers up in front of us with assistance from the National Guard. An officer said that he’d heard that a stage had collapsed, but it later turned out that the protest had been rerouted due to the unexpectedly massive turnout.

CBS reported that interim D.C. Police Chief Peter Newsham explained the diversion, saying, “The crowd stretches so far that there’s no room left to march.”

People crowded the roofs and windows of buildings surrounding the route, some just watching, some holding signs. From one fourth-story window of an apartment building, a woman in pink waved a sign that said, “Future woman in here,” pointing at her swelling abdomen.

On Pennsylvania Avenue, two women in orange Florida sashes, Linda Gillespie, a social worker, and Tracy Edwards, a schoolteacher, said they had flown in from Jacksonville the night before. When a flight attendant asked how many people on their plane were going to the march, everyone raised their hands.

“We just disagree with everything in the new administration,” Edwards said.

Gillespie added that they were marching for future generations.

As the afternoon gave way to evening, the further we walked along Pennsylvania Avenue, the slower the march moved. At each intersection, we looked left and right and could not see an end to the crowd — nor a defined direction. It was all movement.

Media reports later said that after police rerouted the march, it continued in a massive multidirectional sprawl headed in the general direction of the White House, overwhelming streets that had not been closed for the protest. In the thick of it, we saw cars stranded in the midst of throngs of marchers. There were occasional horns and shouts but, by and large, most who were unexpectedly caught up in the march seemed too awed by the scene to mind the delay.

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hough the individual causes that compelled people to march were numerous, the feeling of unity was palpable all day long. There was anger about the election and Trump in general, yes, but there was also a great deal of mutual respect and expressions of love. On one street, a row of National Guardswomen and men exchanged handshakes and hugs with an ongoing line of marchers. Swept up by it all, many simply wept.

Darkness was falling fast when we got to the Metro. Though the march was scheduled to finish at 5 p.m., it was far from over; protests continued for hours, a thick knot converged around Trump International Hotel, where marchers had shouted “Shame” and booed as they passed.

A fine mist had started to fall when we reached the maroon bus that would carry protestors back to Jacksonville. The riders looked tired and happy and ready to go home.

The following morning, the president reacted by tweeting, “Watched protests yesterday but was under the impression that we just had an election! Why didn’t these people vote? Celebs hurt cause badly.” Two hours later, the tweet was followed by what many viewed as a slightly uncharacteristic, and potentially hollow, addendum, “Peaceful protests are a hallmark of our democracy.

Even if I don’t always agree, I recognize the rights of people to express their views.”

Neither tweet came from the president’s official account, but instead were sent from Trump’s personal account.

No one knows what to expect next — if people will fight for the values, rights and perceived progress they believe Trump’s election puts into jeopardy; if the protests, however historic and record-breaking and global, are actually the beginning of sustained efforts to push back against policies and changes that do not reflect their values. There is much that remains to be seen. All we know is that this was just the first day.

Claire Goforth claire@folioweekly.com

FOLIO A + E

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n a 2013 Folio Weekly interview, Stephanie Luke of Atlanta punk trio The Coathangers described the band’s origin story thusly: “We just picked up our instruments and started playing.” Their first few full-lengths embodied that DIY simplicity, with straight-ahead punk riffs and snarling yet sugary lyrics (we still love the 2007 rager “Don’t Touch My Shit” something fierce) that pleased punk fans but left demanding critics wanting more.

But a funny thing happened on the way to the band’s 10th anniversary last year — 2016 album Nosebleed Weekend, their fourth for longtime label Suicide Squeeze Records, went far deeper than anything in The Coathangers’ previous discography, wowing major outlets like Spin and PopMatters, making Paste’s Best 50 Albums of the Year list, and even earning a rare A-minus rating from ultimate rock critic Robert Christgau, who raved that “this all-woman Atlanta trio are ready to rule American punk.”

And guess what? As Julia Kugel told Folio Weekly last week, these one-time adherents of that old Keep It Simple Stupid ethos have even more fire to spit in 2017, beginning on Feb. 1 with the first show of their tour in St. Augustine.

Folio Weekly: Any particular reason why you’re kicking off the tour in the Oldest City?

Julia Kugel: Logistically, it works. Even though I live in Southern California, the band is still based in Atlanta, and Florida deserves its own week of touring — it’s hard to hit the state on the way back from anywhere. Plus, no one wants to drive in the Northeast in February.

[Laughs.]

Please, no.

THE COATHANGERS with THE MOLD, COSMIC GROOVE, KILLMAMA

9 p.m. Feb. 1, Planet Sarbez, St. Augustine, $8 advance; $10 at the door, planetsarbez.com

KIDS

FILM Scott Derrickson ARTS Kathleen Madigan MUSIC Kurt Vile LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CALENDAR

NO MORE

TTen en yyears ears aalong, long FFIRED IRED U UPP B BYY AAMERICA MER circa 2017, The Coathangers talk anger, sobriety and the joy of live performance

Nosebleed Weekend commemorated the band’s 10-year anniversary and was hailed as your best work. Do you feel it represented a major step forward for The Coathangers?

It’s not the last you’ve heard from us, for sure. We really challenged ourselves, but it was just one step in our evolution. Now that we’ve started writing and recording new music for a couple of releases coming out in 2017, our music has a different energy. Because of the things that have happened politically, because we’ve had time off to reflect on life and what we want to do and where we want to go … Our music’s always a snapshot of where we’re at mentally and physically at the time,

so the music that’s coming out next is a little bit more aggravated — a little bit more frustrated. And that feels good to go back to our roots of being angry.

Although it would be nice not to be frustrated. [Laughs.]

What specifically about the politics of 2016 frustrated you the most? Gender issues?

Obviously the band has been outspoken about abortion rights since the beginning.

We’ve been questioned about gender since we started. I was always taught that the personal is political, so you live your personal life in a way that is a political statement. And that’s what we have done. We started the band on our way back from

PG. 14 PG. 16 PG. 18 PG. 19

aan anti-Bush rally, so in a way, this election ffeels like going back in time and reliving what was happening. It’s infuriating, w yyou know? Like, how can this happen? I tthought we’d moved on. But it was sort of iinspiring in a fucked-up way. And we want tto inspire other people to be vocal, be loud aand stand up.

Did anything specific tip you over the D political edge? p For me, it really started when I realized F that police were shooting black people for no fucking reason. So it wasn’t even a gender thing. I started talking onstage about what was happening with our police force. How this racism still exists. And that it was all of our problems. That was the first time I was, like, “Shit, who I am up here, going on a rant?” But maybe it’s something that needs to be heard, even when you’re having a good time.

After 10 years of hardcore touring, is it still possible to tap into the early spark that drove The Coathangers? Conversely, what do you get out of live performances now that maybe you didn’t when you were younger?

The last time we played in Atlanta was one of the most fun shows in a long time because I was pretty much sober. That’s different than when we first started out.

And that’s not for every show. But it makes you more focused — you start toying with certain aspects of the show that you didn’t before. I mean, when we first started, we just wanted to get through it and not fuck up. Now, it’s about enjoying the experience of it — really interacting with the energy of the crowd and interacting with each other. That’s never left for The Coathangers. We get on stage and have fun playing together.

That probably goes a long way when you’re in a punk band that plays 25 shows a month.

As long as you’re stoked, you’re going to be in the right mindset. It’s pretty insane to want to do this to yourself for over 10 years. It weighs heavy on your family, your personal life, your body and your mind. On everything, you know?

Even with all the benefits that you get from being in a band, you also have to pay a lot. So you have to find something in that moment to make it all worthwhile.

Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly.com

JANUARY 25-31, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 13

FOLIO A+E : MAGIC LANTERNS Writer-director Ole Bornedal is a masterful auteur of ENIGMATIC CONTEMPORARY cinema

GREAT

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14 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 25-31, 2017

ince 1975, there have been at least six feature films (and more than a couple of TV movies) titled Deliver Us from Evil, the latest being a 2014 horror film from Scott Derrickson, writer and director of The Exorcism of Emily Rose, Sinister and Doctor Strange. Derrickson’s movie is quite good, but the ’09 Danish film of the same name (written and directed by Ole Bornedal) is better.

And it’s not a horror film, at least in the conventional sense. Though Bornedal was lured to Hollywood in 2012 to direct The Possession, yet another movie about demonic spirits (like Derrickson’s film), the Danish filmmaker usually deals with horrors of the more mundane but no less appalling ilk, perpetrated by humans rather than supernatural monsters.

His inspiration for Deliver Us from Evil is clearly derived from Sam Peckinpah’s Straw Dogs (1971), certainly one of the most controversial, disturbing and accomplished thrillers ever made. Rod Lurie’s forgettable 2011 remake (with James Marsden, Kate Bosworth and Alexander Skarsgård) was mostly faithful to the original but tepid in comparison; Bornedal’s film, on the other hand, is a reimagining, not a remake.

While retaining Peckinpah’s general plot, conflicts and uneasy resolution, Deliver Us from Evil infuses them with even more complexity. The result is as unsettling as it is appropriate — a parable of the age.

The film opens with a pan of the rocky Danish coast as a woman walks on a lonely highway, a nameless narrator who opens and closes the series of events we’re about to witness. “It begins way out here in the sticks,” she says, “a snug haven for snug people who, unlike others around the world, know the difference between right and wrong, good and evil. For them the world is simple.”

And yet … . She goes on to introduce us to most of the major characters whose lives (and for some, their deaths) are anything but simple. Johannes and his wife Pernille (Lasse Rimmer, Lene Nystrøm) seem at first to have it all — a nice home, two sweet kids, a healthy income from his job as an attorney. However, there are subtle touches that indicate things could be better in the bedroom, as was the case with Dustin Hoffmann and Susan George in Straw Dogs.

Convulsive outside forces soon test the family unit further in unexpected and extremely dangerous ways. A national holiday gives the townspeople, especially the unemployed and disenfranchised, the opportunity to get drunk and rowdy with tacit approval from authorities. However, the celebration soon escalates into mob violence when Alain (Bojan Navojec), a Bosnian refugee handyman, is accused of killing the

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wife of one of the leading townsmen, a selftortured man as it is.

Viewers familiar with the Peckinpah classic might guess where this is going, but Ole Bornedal has some narrative tricks up his sleeve that extend the conflict beyond the limited number of combatants in Straw Dogs. The roots of violence for Bloody Sam are primal, primitive and sexual, forcing Hoffmann’s character David to assert his masculinity with whatever weapon is at hand.

All those elements are also in Deliver Us from Evil, but the forces that turn ordinary townspeople into a bloodthirsty mob are broader and more complicated, including racial, sexual, religious and economic. Two of the film’s primary movers are both victims of war, having lost loved ones in Bosnia and Afghanistan. It’s clear that the title’s “evil” is in large part a social cancer; Peckinpah focused more on the innate brutality of human nature.

One of the most pivotal characters in Bornedal’s film has no counterpart in Straw Dogs. Lars (Jens Andersen), a crude, drunken truck driver, seems to be the exact opposite of his straight-arrow brother Johannes, but over the course of the film, it’s Lars who seems to undergo the greatest change, and an entirely credible one at that.

The final scene of Straw Dogs is one of the most ambiguous and polarizing in American film, in terms of how we are to understand it. Bornedal’s is equally puzzling and unsettling, as his omniscient female narrator, barely concealing an ironic or cynical smile, summarizing what happened to the story’s survivors.

“And that’s it,” she says, cocking her head at the camera before finally shrugging, as if in exasperation. “That’s it.”

Deliver Us from Evil. Amen to that!

Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com

NOWSHOWING SUN-RAY CINEMA 20th Century Women and La La Land are currently screening, 1028 Park St., 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. Elle starts Jan. 27.

CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ The Girl on the Train starts Jan. 26. Charlie Chaplin Week continues with City Lights Jan. 25-28; The Kid starts Jan. 29. Throwback Thursday runs Singing in the Rain at noon and Cult Classic runs And Then There Were None at 8 p.m. Jan. 26. 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com.

IMAX THEATER XXX: Return of Xander Cage, Resident Evil: The Final Chapter, A Beautiful Planet and Extreme Weather run at World Golf Village IMAX Theater, St. Augustine, 940-4133, worldgolfimax. com. The Lego Batman starts Feb. 9.

ARTS + EVENTS PERFORMANCE

A CLOSER WALK WITH PATSY CLINE Gail Bliss stars in this musical story of the late, great country legend’s life, Jan. 27-Feb. 19. Dinner 6 p.m.; brunch noon, with a themed menu by Executive Chef DeJuan Roy; at 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $49.95-$62 plus tax, 641-1212, alhambrajax.com.

HEDDA GABLER Henrik Ibsen’s play about a 19th-century woman yearning for individual and spiritual freedom, is staged 7:30 p.m. Jan. 26, 27 and 28 and 2 p.m. Jan. 29 at Limelight Theatre, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, 825-1164, $15; through Feb. 19, limelight-theatre.org.

RIVERDANCE The much-loved Irish dance production, with 55 cast members and crew, is staged 8 p.m. Jan. 27, 2 and 8 p.m. Jan. 28 and 1:30 and 6:30 p.m. Jan. 29 at Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 Water St., Downtown, 442-2929, $38.50$104.50, fscjartistseries.org.

CELEBRATION: AN AVANT-GARDE MUSICAL FABLE Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre stages a unique musical about a young boy who helps a rich old man win the love of an angel, 8 p.m. Jan. 27 and 28 and 2 p.m. Jan. 29 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., 249-7177, $20; through Feb. 5, abettheatre.com.

IN THE MOOD This tribute to American music of the ’30s and ’40s is presented at 3 and 7:30 p.m. Jan. 28 at the Times-Union Center’s Terry Theater, 442-2929, $43.50-$53.50, fscjartistseries.org.

SHREK Amelia Musical Playhouse stages a production of the story of the cranky, flatulent green ogre who becomes a reluctant hero, 7:30 p.m. Jan. 26, 27 and 28 and 2:30 p.m. Jan. 29 at 1955 Island Walkway, Fernandina Beach, 277-3455, $20; $15 students, through Feb. 5, ameliamusicalplayhouse.com.

BYE BYE BIRDIE Orange Park Community Theatre offers the ever-popular musical about high school hijinks and fame, 8 p.m. Jan. 27 and 28 and 3 p.m. Jan. 29 at 2900 Moody Ave., 276-2599, $25; through Feb. 5, opct.info.

PETER & THE STARCATCHER Theatre Jacksonville presents the Tony Award-winning musical which reveals origins of the characters in Peter Pan, 7:30 p.m. Jan. 26, 8 p.m. Jan. 27 and 28; and 2 p.m. Jan. 29 at 2032 San Marco Blvd., 396-4425, $25, theatrejax.com.

CLASSICAL & JAZZ

SAM GLEAVES & TYLER HUGHES Virginia-based bluegrass duo Gleaves & Hughes perform 7 p.m. Jan. 27 at All Saints Episcopal Church, 4171 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 737-8488, allsaintsjax.org.

CIVIC ORCHESTRA Musicians from the local community perform with the Jacksonville Symphony, 8 p.m. Jan. 27 at Times-Union Center’s Jacoby Symphony Hall, 354-5547, jaxsymphony.org.

ORGANIST RECITAL Organist Barbara MacGregor performs, 5 p.m. Jan. 28 at Grace United Methodist Church, 8 Carrera St., St. Augustine, 829-8272, gracestaugustine.org.

NATIONAL SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA OF UKRAINE The acclaimed Eastern European orchestra performs, 7:30 p.m.

Jan. 28 at Flagler College’s Lewis Auditorium, 14 Granada St., St. Augustine, 797-2800, $40, emmaconcerts.com.

VIOLINS OF HOPE This concert, featuring 16 violins recovered from the Holocaust and restored, is held 8 p.m.

Jan. 28 at Times-Union Center’s Jacoby Symphony Hall, 354-5547, $22-$62, jaxsymphony.org.

THE HYPNOTIC BRASS ENSEMBLE This eclectic brass septet performs, 8 p.m. Jan. 28 at The Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 807-2010, $25$30, ritzjacksonville.com.

FLORIDA CHAMBER MUSIC PROJECT The local ensemble performs Quintet in C Major by Schubert at

2 p.m. Jan. 29 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., 209-0399, $25, pvconcerthall.com.

JB SCOTT’S SWINGIN’ ALLSTARS! This local big band swing consortium performs, 3 p.m. Jan. 29 at Riverside Presbyterian Church, 849 Park St., 355-4585, rpcjax.org.

COMEDY

BILLY CRYSTAL Baby-boomer comedy legend Crystal performs Spend the Night with Billy Crystal, a memoirstyle show, with stories and clips from his films, 7:30 p.m. Jan. 25 at Times-Union Center’s Moran Theater, 633-6110, $64-$124, ticketmaster.com.

PAUL RODRIGUEZ One of the Original Latin Kings of Comedy, funnyman Rodriguez is on 8 p.m. Jan. 26 and 8 and 10:30 p.m. Jan. 27 and 28 at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-4277, $25-$35, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

KATHLEEN MADIGAN No-nonsense comedian Madigan, featured on The Tonight Show 25 times, is on at 8 p.m. Jan. 27 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $25-$47.50, floridatheatre.com.

FRED’S ALL-STAR COMEDIANS Donna Williams, Patrick Carson and others, 7:30 p.m. Jan. 25 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, 292-4242, $10, comedyzone.com.

PIFF THE MAGIC DRAGON Comedian Piff, who performs witty magic, is on at 7:30 p.m. Jan. 26 and 7:30 and 9:45 p.m. Jan. 27 and 28 at The Comedy Zone, $25$27.50, $25, comedyzone.com.

CALLS & WORKSHOPS

COMMUNITY FOUNDATION FOR NORTHEAST FLORIDA ART GRANTS The Community Foundation has opened the application process for 2017 grants, including Nonprofit Organizations in Duval County, Art Ventures (for individual artists), Dr. JoAnn Crisp-Ellert Fund (for visual arts in St. Augustine). Info on deadlines, grant criteria and submission guidelines at jaxcf.org/apply.

NEW TOWN URBAN FARM Urban Geoponics and New Town are developing a large community garden at Pearce and West Third streets, in the New Town/Edward Waters area, Northside, to provide fresh produce and a hands-on, open-air center of learning for the community and area students. Urban Farm meets 10 a.m.-1 p.m. every Sun. Details, call Diallo-Sekou at 706-284-9808.

ART WALKS & MARKETS

FIRST WEDNESDAY ART WALK The downtown art walk, 5-9 p.m. Feb. 1, themed Share the Love, features more than 60 venues – galleries, museums, cultural and educational venues, restaurants and bars – spanning 15 blocks in Downtown Jacksonville. iloveartwalk.com.

WHITE HARVEST FARMS & FARMER’S MARKET Local organic, fresh produce, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. every Sat., 5348 Moncrief Rd., Northside, 354-4162; proceeds benefit Clara White Mission, clarawhitemission.org.

WINTER RAM Some of Riverside Arts Market’s artists, food artists and local, seasonal produce are featured, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. every Sat. under the Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com.

UPTOWN SATURDAY NIGHT A self-guided tour of galleries, antique stores and shops, 5-9 p.m. Jan. 28 in St. Augustine’s San Marco District, 824-3152.

MUSEUMS

AMELIA ISLAND MUSEUM OF HISTORY 233 S. Third St., Fernandina, 261-7378, ameliamuseum.org. It Came from the Attic: The Lesesne House is on display.

BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY PARK 381 Beach

CLASSIC NOTES

The FLORIDA CHAMBER MUSIC PROJECT performs Quintet in C Major by Schubert Jan. 29 at the Ponte Vedra Concert Hall.

JANUARY 25-31, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15

FOLIO A+E : ARTS Comedy great Kathleen Madigan scores BIG LAUGHS with her infectious blend of humor and humility

WE’RE GONNA HAVE A REAL

GOOD TIME TOGETHER I

f there is a “comedy of the people,” its contemporary spearhead is Kathleen Madigan. The wisecracking Midwesterner is adept at riffing on expected standup topics like family, world events and the American dilemmas, in way that is, by definition, populist. Madigan’s humor is fueled by a witty sarcasm in lieu of cynical snark, an approach that helps her unify the crowd. For the last 28 years, Madigan has been a ubiquitous force on the American comedy scene. She’s appeared on HBO, CMT and Comedy Central comedy specials, TV (including Letterman, Conan and an impressive 25 appearances on The Tonight Show), Montreal’s acclaimed “Just for Laughs” comedy festival — and she was nominated for “Best Concert Comic” by the American Comedy Awards. Madigan, along with longtime friend Lewis Black, has made numerous USO trips overseas to entertain our troops stationed in the Middle East.

Most recently, Madigan has appeared on Jerry Seinfeld’s Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee, and can currently be seen on her new live special, Bothering Jesus, streaming on Netflix. Over the course of the show’s 71 minutes, Madigan riffs on everything from the idiosyncrasies of her family to the conspiracies surrounding the 2014 vanishing of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 to noodling, the decidedly blue-collar sport of sticking one’s arm deep in a riverbed with the hopes of grabbing a catfish. Madigan’s appeal to such a wide array of comedy lovers is evident in Bothering Jesus, as the audience encompasses a wide range of genders, races and ages — an accomplishment in its own right.

Madigan spoke to Folio Weekly via phone while at her folks’ home in her native Missouri, where she was taking a break before gearing up for her next run of shows.

We riffed on her new special, going down the rabbit hole and bringing comedy to the combat zone.

16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 25-31, 2017

Folio Weekly: My girlfriend and I watched Bothering Jesus this past weekend and it’s really hilarious. This show is on Netflix and you’ve previously done specials for everyone from HBO and Comedy Central to CMT; those are fairly disparate and distinct networks as far as programming. I imagine that’s a reflection of how diverse your audience is. Why do you think you appeal to such a wide array of people?

Kathleen Madigan: I don’t know. I think it’s just because I really am a “good time Charlie” and I’m not really picking sides, even if I’m talking about politics, and if I am at the bar after a show, that really is me. I don’t have a need to be “right.” I just want to have a fun bar conversation that’s intelligent … if possible.

[Laughs.] You know what I mean? I really

am like that fun aunt at the end of the bar you’re happy to see. So I do think that has a wider appeal, compared to if I was really one way or the other or kind of set in my ways and needed to be right. I’m not trying to make serious points with current events; I’m just trying to point at the absurdity of all of it. You know, I don’t want to be all, “Rah! Rah! The media’s bad!” Like, I don’t want to be a cheerleader of the “common thought” or an invisible enemy. Because when I talk about things, I try to point out the specific absurdities so it’s not hacky.

So when you’re hanging at the bar and you’re not in Manhattan but rather you’re in …

The Ozarks? [Laughs.]

Yeah! [Laughs.] But do fans ever goad you into taking a side? Like, “Kathleen, waddya think about Trump?” Do people wanna pull you into a donnybrook about politics or current events?

They’re mostly like, “Oh, I bet you guys have hours of material now because of Trump” and it’s like you do but you kind of don’t because it’s being done by regular people. I mean, if regular people are writing things on Twitter and saying things that work, it’s kind of crossed the line. If Saturday Night Live has it every week and then he says so many things that, even if you tried to write a joke about it, by the time you get onstage, that night he’s said something else. It’s become like a rabbit hole of crazy. [Laughs.] And we’ve all gone down it! I once read a book about crazy people and they said one of the most telltale signs is that they’re chaos creators and he’s definitely one of those. And he’s certainly not boring. [Laughs.]

Those Russian hooker and golden shower jokes only lasted for a day. Sad. For the record, I’m still trademarking “My Country ’Tis of Pee” and “Bladder Hymn of the Republic.”

[Laughs.] Oh man, those are good! That’s what I mean, he’s so crazy that it moves too fast. But I think the hooker thing will still stick around to haunt him because that’s the kind of thing everybody can grasp. Let’s say he didn’t pay a corporate tax in Maine. Well, nobody really gets that. Hookers they get. And we can laugh at that.

I want to talk about your overall style onstage. I think you have a very languid delivery that rolls along and the punch line kind of flows out of the story; I don’t feel like you’re “building up” to the punch line; it’s very subtle. Do you feel naturally comfortable onstage or do you really have to find ways to calm yourself when you get up there?

I’ve gotten calmer over the years, I guess, since

nothing really gets me “nervous” anymore, but it’s always kind of been the same. In Montreal when I do that festival [the annual Just for Laughs comedy festival], they make you watch everything you’ve ever done on this certain TV show, and not that I don’t want to sit around and Google and watch clips of myself, but you have to watch them and it’s like homework; they know if you did it. And I have noticed what you’re saying and it’s weird because it’s always been the same and most of the things I’m saying, for whatever reason, are 20 to 30 seconds long. Like, to get to a joke. I never did that on purpose; it’s just a natural cadence for me. Like, Ron White is the perfect example.

Ron’s just a funny guy. He’s not even trying.

Everything he says is just funny, whether he’s onstage or not; his accent, his cadence … it’s the whole intangible thing of comedy.

I’m kind of fascinated by one particular element of standup: when a comedian walks onstage and tells that opening joke. How crucial is that lead-in for you? Do you ever agonize over continually writing and editing that?

It’s definitely always the hardest part on a TV show, because you’ll obsess over, “What am I going to open with?” And then you have to keep changing it where you have a bulletproof opener and a bulletproof closer, so if things go sideways in the middle, you know that you can save your own ass. And you need to open strong to make the audience comfortable.

That’s an ongoing conversation and thing.

Lew [Lewis Black] is 20 years ahead of me with this thing and he’ll still say, “I don’t know what I’m going to open with. I don’t know how to get into it.” It’s sort of like diving off a diving board; you gotta figure out what dive you’re going to do … . [Laughs.] And then commit to it.

KATHLEEN MADIGAN

8 p.m. Jan. 27, The Florida Theatre, Downtown, $25-$47.50, floridatheatre.com

You’ve done multiple USO tours of Iraq and Afghanistan with Lewis Black. What is it like performing for servicepeople over there?

Well, they’re so fun and so happy that you’re there that you just have great shows every night. Robin Williams was also on one of them and I thought, “Somebody should be taping this.” And Robin said, “No kiddin’, right? This is like the free, greatest audience for a special.” But the greatest moment was when you get on the Blackhawks, and it is dangerous, flying over Afghanistan. Well, they make you put on the whole military uniform: flak jacket, the helmet, the whole nine yards.

And Lew put on his gear [laughing] and he’s got his glasses and they’re always dirty. He always looks disheveled. I told him, “That’s why you like Bernie Sanders so much: He’s the only person who’s more disheveled than you.” So he put on the whole outfit. But they didn’t have any extra small gear for women. I had a women’s small but I think they assume that woman’s going to be at least 5’3” — which I’m not. And we looked so ridiculous, staggering around in these getups. I told him, “You look like you’ve already been attacked.

And we haven’t left the building.” And Lew said, “So do you, and this is a reminder why we will always play these shows for free for these people so we never have to get involved.” [Laughs.] That was probably the most unforgettable thing I’ve ever done. We don’t want to be soldiers [laughs] but we’ll do something else.

Daniel A. Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com

ARTS + EVENTS Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657, beachesmuseum.org.

Island Reflections, works of Gary Mack, Linda Olsen and William Meyer, through Feb. 26.

CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 29 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummermuseum.org. The opening celebration for the exhibit Academic Splendor: 19thCentury Masterworks from the Dahesh Museum of Art is held 5-8 p.m. Jan. 26. Searching For Identity: Memorial Through the Lens of the Second Generation Holocaust Survivor displays Jan. 31-Feb. 11. David Ponsler: Chasing Shadows through Oct. 4. Lift: Contemporary Expressions of the African American Experience, works of local artists Thony Aiuppy, Glendia Cooper, Ingrid Damiani, Overstreet Ducasse, Dustin Harewood, Marsha Hatcher, Hiromi Moneyhun, Princess Rashid, Chip Southworth, Roosevelt Watson III, displays through Feb. 12.

KARPELES MANUSCRIPT LIBRARY MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992, rain.org/~karpeles/ jax.html. Til We Have Faces – Art by Thony Aiuppy is on display through February. The Long Distance Telephone, an original manuscript exhibit featuring the invention of the telephone and long distance line by Alexander Graham Bell, displays through April 26.

MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank, 396-6674, themosh.org. Anne Frank: A History for Today displays through Feb. 12. Karen Levine reads from the children’s book Hana’s Suitcase, about a young girl’s life during the Holocaust, 4-5 p.m. Jan. 26.

MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911, mocajacksonville.unf. edu. The MOCA Student Residency Exhibition, works by MOCA’s inaugural student-in-residence Mary Ratcliff, displays through April 2. The Project Atrium: Nicola Lopez installation, A Gentle Defiance of Gravity & Form, a skyscraper-like construction combining steel and printed imagery, displays through Feb. 26. Hans Hofmann: Works on Paper and The Evolution of MarkMaking display Jan. 28-May 14. Frank Rampolla: The DNA of the Mark runs Jan. 28-April 2.

WORLD GOLF HALL OF FAME & MUSEUM 1 World Golf Pl., St. Augustine, 940-4133, worldgolfhalloffame.org. Grace & Grit – Women Champions Through the Years is on display.

GALLERIES

ADELE GRAGE CULTURAL CENTER 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-5828, coab.us. Works by graphic artist Mark Goodman display through January.

THE ART CENTER GALLERY Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 139, 233-9252, tacjacksonville.org. The juried exhibit Unity in Diversity displays through March 2. Ed Malesky is January’s featured artist.

CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530, flagler.edu/news-events/crispellert-art-museum. Pastures & Parking Lots: Outtakes & Other Rarities, 2003-2016, recent works by Los Angelesbased artist Jake Longstreth, displays through Feb. 25.

THE CULTURAL CENTER AT PONTE VEDRA BEACH 50 Executive Way, 280-0614, ccpvb.org. Celebrate Art 2017, works by member artists, through Feb. 18.

FLORIDA MINING GALLERY 5300 Shad Rd., Southside, 535-7252, floridamininggallery.com. Marcus Kenney’s exhibit Dope is on display.

LARIMER ARTS CENTER 216 Reid St., Palatka, 386-328-8998, artsinputnam.org. Fragments Times Three, works by Robert Hall, Gayle Prevatt and Enzo Torcoletti, is on display.

MONYA ROWE GALLERY 4 Rohde Ave., St. Augustine, 217-0637, monyarowegallery.com. Room Air Conditioner, new works by Ann Toebbe, runs through March 5.

PLUM GALLERY 10 Aviles St., St. Augustine, 825-0069, plumartgallery.com. New works by painter Sara Pedigo and assemblage artist Barbara J. Cornett display through February.

ROTUNDA GALLERY St. Johns County Admin. Bldg., 500 San Sebastian View, St. Augustine, 471-9980. The Betty Griffin Center: A Day Without Violence, through Jan. 26.

SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY Bank of America Tower, 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 150, 438-4358, southlightgallery.com.

Tom Schifanella’s Primal Light: Landscape Photography of Iceland and works of 18 collaborative members are on display.

EVENTS

PIN UP PAWS FUNDRAISER The St. Augustine Humane Society holds its annual fundraiser to honor the 2017 Pin Up Paws pet calendar winners, with music, cocktails, dinner, auction, wine pull and photo booth, 6-9 p.m.

Jan. 26 at Mark Lance Armory, 190 San Marco Ave., $50 advance; $60 at the door, 829-2737; calendars available with a $10 donation. pupparty.org.

ONE JAX DISCUSSION OneJax holds a panel discussion, “Are We an Inclusive Community,” 6:15-7:45 p.m. Jan. 26 at University of North Florida’s University Center, Bldg. 43, 12000 Alumni Dr., Southside, 620-1529, free; e-ticket required; details at onejax@unf.edu.

JACKSONVILLE SHORT FILM SHOWCASE The Showcase & Contest features local filmmakers’ winning efforts, created in categories including genre, plot theme and main characters; the creators vie for a thumbs-up from the judges’ panel and coveted audience award, plus

cash prizes, 6:30-11 p.m. Jan. 26 at Sun-Ray Cinema, 1028 Park St., Riverside, 359-0049, $9.50; $8 military/ teachers/students; $7 seniors, $5.50 kids 12 and under, sunraycinema.com, jaxshortfilmshowcase.com.

GO HOME & GO FORTH: AN EVENING WITH SOHRAB & CLAIRE Authors Sohrab Homi Fracis (Go Home) and Folio Weekly editor Claire Goforth are featured in a reading and discussion, 7-9 p.m. Jan. 26 at CoRK Arts District, 2689 Rosselle St., Riverside; wine and cheese, BYOB welcome, donations appreciated, corkartsdistrict.com.

JOHN LESCROART Author Lescroart discusses and signs copies of his new book, Fatal, with Steve Berry, 7 p.m. Jan. 26 at The BookMark, 220 First St., Neptune Beach, 241-9026.

KING OF KONA The skateboard fest expects more than 250 longboard and street skaters, along with camping, live music, skate hockey and cookouts, 11 a.m.-11 p.m.

Jan. 27; 10 a.m.-midnight Jan. 28 and 11 a.m.-6 p.m.

Jan. 29 at Kona Skatepark, 8739 Kona Ave., Arlington, $40-$100, 725-8770, kingofkona.com.

OLDEST CITY PIRATE FEST St. Augustine Swashbucklers host the inaugural Oldest City Pirate Fest, with blacksmithing, sword-fighting, black powder weaponry demos, gypsies, dancers, kids’ area, prizes, magicians, artisans and authors, 8-11 p.m. Jan. 27, 10 a.m.-5 p.m., 7-9 p.m. Jan. 28 and 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Jan. 29. Tom Mason & the Blue Buccaneers perform 7 p.m.

Jan. 28. Music also by Nine Toes the Bard, The Rusty Anchors and Noise Complaint. $13 adults; $10 kids; age 4 and under free. Colonial Quarter, 33 St. George St., St. Augustine, staugustineswashbucklers.com.

JACKSONVILLE BOAT SHOW The 70th annual Boat Show, with skiing, fishing, cruisers and personal water-craft vessels, is 11 a.m.-8 p.m. Jan. 27; 10 a.m.-8 p.m. Jan. 28 and 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Jan. 29 at Prime Osborn Center, 1000 Water St., Downtown, $12: $10 seniors/military, $5 kids 5-12; $11 SeaTow members, 630-4000, boatjax.com.

WOLFSON CHILDREN’S CHALLENGE The fundraiser, including 55K ultra, 55K relay or solo run, 30K solo run, and one-mile fun run, kicks off 7 a.m. Jan. 28 at Baseball Grounds of Jacksonville, 301 A. Philip Randolph Blvd., Downtown; $25-$450; proceeds benefit Wolfson Children’s Hospital; register at wolfsonchildrenschallenge.com.

JACKSONVILLE GIANTS VS. FAYETTEVILLE FLIGHT The Jacksonville Giants take on the Fayetteville Flight, 7 p.m.

Jan. 28 at Veterans Memorial Arena, 301 Randolph Blvd., Downtown, 630-3900, $10-$125, ticketmaster.com.

WINTER RECORD & CD SHOW This music lovers’ gathering features 14 vendors offering music schwag including vinyl, CDs, cassettes, VHS tapes and other rare and collectible memorabilia, 1-6 p.m. Jan. 29 at Birdies, 1044 Park St., Riverside, 356-4444.

FLORIDA FORUM: MEGYN KELLY The Florida Forum speaker series presents Fox News Anchor Kelly at 7 p.m. Jan. 30 at T-U Center’s Moran Theater, 202-2886, tickets start at $83; proceeds benefit Wolfson Children’s Hospital, womensboardwolfsonchildrenshospital.com.

WAR NEWS CORRESPONDENT CHUCK RAASCH Washington, D.C. news correspondent Raasch discusses “After The Guns Go Silent, and the Ballots Are Cast,” about the rise of the war correspondent and the experience that follows conflict and war, 7 p.m. Jan. 31 at Flagler College’s Lewis Auditorium, 14 Granada St., St. Augustine, 826-8572, flagler.edu.

ALPINE GROVES PARK RIVER BLESSING, BELUTHAHATCHEE PARK TOURS A River Blessing is held 9-11 a.m. Jan. 28 at Alpine Groves Park, 2060 S.R. 13. The Matanzas and St. Johns Riverkeepers are featured speakers. Stetson Kennedy Foundation hosts interactive tours 11 a.m.-1 p.m. of Beluthahatchee Park, 1523 S.R. 13, Fruit Cove, 209-0348. It’s the only National Double Literary Landmark honoring author Kennedy and folksinger Woody Guthrie. stetsonkennedy.com, co.stjohns.fl.us/recreation/parks/alpinegroves.aspx.

BUCKMAN BRIDGE UNITARIAN CHURCH CIVIL WEDDINGS Buckman Bridge Unitarian Universalist Church holds free civil weddings 12:30-3 p.m. Jan. 29.

The marriage ceremonies last 5-10 minutes. All parties must have photo ID and a marriage license in hand. Any festivities must be held elsewhere. 8447 Manresa Ave., Orange Park, 276-3739. Contact Rev. Pat Ray for an appointment at reverendray@comcast.net.

UNF CAMP COMPOSITION University of North Florida’s College of Education & Human Services holds its annual writing camp for kids in grades 4-11, Saturdays 9 a.m.-noon, Jan. 28, Feb. 4, 11, 18 and 25, Petway Hall, Bldg. 57, 1 UNF Dr., Southside. Themes are writing prompts, prewriting strategies, drafting strategies, revising strategies, editing strategies and writing celebration. Area teachers specializing in writing instruction work with writing teams and offer feedback. A completed form and $240 registration fee required; limited space. Scholarships offered on a limited basis to those who qualify for free or reduced lunch and/or attend a Title 1 school. Confirmation from school required; reduced fee for siblings. 620-1754, unf.edu/coehs/celt/Camp_Composition.aspx. ____________________________________________

To list an event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price, contact number to print to Daniel A. Brown – email dbrown@folioweekly.com or mail, 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202.

Items run as space is available. Deadline noon Wed. for next Wed. printing.

JANUARY 25-31, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17

FOLIO A+E : MUSIC

LAID BACK &

LOVING IT

Kurt Vile may be the epitome of chill, but he’s worked damn hard for his SLACKER ROCK SUCCESS

I

f laid-back rock ’n’ roll needed a patron saint, Kurt Vile would be the first man up for coronation. Starting around 2009, when he released Smoke Rings for My Halo on Matador Records, the indie cognoscenti has revered this Philadelphia native for his meandering guitar jams, his slacker-philosopher take on modern life, and his quirky, blue-collar eccentricities.

Over the last year or two, however, even the mainstream music scene has warmed to Vile’s tranquil, paisley-tinted sobriquets paired with gently psychedelic, classic rockinfused noodling. Last summer, he even appeared on the venerable show CBS This Morning, sending up his “sweet bubblegum harmonies” and laughing with host Anthony Mason about the pitfalls of increasing stardom: “I notice middle-aged stewardesses come up to me once in a while now.”

That nugget encapsulates the best thing about Kurt Vile: He takes his art seriously, yet he can be wickedly funny. His songs can scan as bleak and as uplifting. Yes, he loves meandering nine-minute jams — and he can write concise instant classics like “Pretty

Pimpin,” the foot-stomping, earworm hit that really broke Vile big in 2015. On paper, lyrics like “I woke up this morning / Didn’t recognize the man in the mirror / Then I laughed and I said, ‘Oh, silly me, that’s just me’” might sound, well, silly. When Vile delivers them in his elongated half-slur/half-twang, though, the words come off as downright prophetic, exposing the pretty little lies we tell ourselves each day, while acknowledging the human need to build ourselves up.

Critics might say Kurt Vile’s six full-length albums all sound strikingly similar, when you hear that voice and that perspective and that guitar all wrapped up together, you can feel instantly at home — just like Folio Weekly did when we spoke with Vile last week at his Philadelphia home.

Folio Weekly: You haven’t toured in Florida much, have you, Kurt?

I’ve only been down there once, at the end of the tour for [2013 album] Wakin on a Pretty Daze. I liked it a lot, though. It has warm vibes, and it’s on my same coast, the East

Coast. So I’m looking forward to tapping into your world as much as I can. Plus I’m coming late in the cycle again.

So you and your band, The Violators, won’t be focusing strictly on 2015’s b’lieve I’m goin down… then? Is that a plus for you?

I write music on an acoustic guitar on my couch, and then in the studio, it’s built up into something else, so it takes a little bit to make certain songs sound right onstage. For that reason, I’m not as confident touring at the beginning of a record. And yeah, I like the fact that we jump around. I have enough albums now that I don’t have to think too much about the new album. Beyond songs you have to play, like “Pretty Pimpin,” of course.

Taking a longer view of touring, was it hard to navigate the jump to larger venues like theaters, along with the many festivals you now headline?

It has been really hard. I used to think I was only good at small clubs. Festivals were a real struggle. A big theater, same deal. But our show is so organic now — really, truly, an organic, epic rock show with peaks and valleys. And that comes from being on the road so long.

There were a lot of growing pains on this last record. We went through a lot of ups and downs. But now we can sustain. We got pro.

Has your writing process changed significantly as you’ve gotten more professional?

The process of writing has changed in that I’m rarely writing a song front to back these days.

That’s been going on since Wakin on a Pretty Daze, which had this psychedelic, laid-back fog. I’ve got a bunch of lyrics and a bunch of riffs and I’m always open to the songs growing and evolving, over a week or a month or a year. You also have to be open to spontaneity once you go in the studio, too.

After b’lieve I’m going down…, you told PopMatters that you wanted to make a “folk statement” with the record. Do you feel like you achieved that, or do you now need to make a statement as a more high-profile artist?

My music all stems from my own personal experience. I just figure it out as I go. I’m not thinking too grand.

KURT VILE & the VIOLATORS and LUKE ROBERTS

8 p.m. Jan. 30, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, $27 advance (SRO); $30 day of, pvconcerthall.com Or you’re just really good at making your personal experience universal and relatable.

Subconsciously, that’s what I always wanted in other music. So I have my own style, but it’s also informed by classic, relatable influences like Neil Young or Lou Reed. It’s a combination of this laid-back human thing, my natural musical ability, and the style that comes out with my personality.

Has that personality undergone a discernable change as your career grew?

I’ve always had a few sides. I have a crazy, wild side and an introspective, shy side. Now, I like to embrace the whole rock-star persona thing, without taking it too seriously or dealing with the negative parts of it. But I think I’m growing and evolving. Having kids obviously changes you for the better. For the realer, too.

Change for the realer! I like that. Hopefully my songs get realer all the time.

Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly.com 18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 25-31, 2017

“Somebody loan me a dime; or even a nickel if possible.” Rock and soul daddy-o BOZ SCAGGS (pictured) performs with The ROBERT CRAY BAND Jan. 29 at The Florida Theatre, Downtown.

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK

SPADE McQUADE 6 p.m. Jan. 25, Fionn MacCool’s Irish Pub, Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247.

GLADYS KNIGHT 8 p.m. Jan. 25, The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $39-$89.

THE BLIND SPOTS, THE YOUNG STEP 8 p.m. Jan. 25, Nighthawks, 2952 Roosevelt Blvd., Riverside.

CHRIS DUARTE 7:30 p.m. Jan. 26, Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., St. Nicholas, 352-7008, $10.

J BOOG, JO MERSA MARLEY, JEMERE MORGAN 7:30 p.m.

Jan. 27, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., 209-0399, $18 advance (SRO); $20 day of.

REED MATHIS & ELECTRIC BEETHOVEN, LUCKY COSTELLO 8 p.m. Jan. 26, Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $15.

THE BLIND SPOTS, THE DEWARS, BRENT BYRD 8 p.m. Jan. 26, Planet Sarbez, 115 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 342-0632.

LEE BRICE, JUSTIN MOORE, WILLIAM MICHAEL MORGAN 7 p.m. Jan. 26, Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 A. Philip Randolph Blvd., Downtown, 630-3900, $23.75-$58.75.

3 THE BAND 9 p.m. Jan. 26, Flying Iguana, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680.

VERLON THOMPSON, MIKE SHACKELFORD 7:30 p.m.

Jan. 27, Mudville Music Room, $10.

FLAGGED VAN, TRASH FESTIVAL, KYLIE TRUNDLE 8 p.m.

Jan. 27, Planet Sarbez.

ARTISTREE 8 p.m. Jan. 27, Nighthawks.

THE DOG APOLLO, HARAKIRI, CANOPY HILL, DENVER HALL 8 p.m. Jan. 27, Jack Rabbits, $8.

GO GET GONE, PARTY CARTEL 9:30 p.m. Jan. 27, Whiskey Jax, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Southside, 634-7208.

EVAN MICHAEL & THE WELL WISHERS 10 p.m. Jan. 27 & 28, Flying Iguana.

THE BEACH BOYS 7:30 p.m. Jan. 28, The Florida Theatre, $39.50-$69.50.

ANDREW McKNIGHT, MARK WILLIAMS 7:30 p.m. Jan. 28, Mudville Music Room, $10.

TOM BENNETT BAND 9 p.m. Jan. 28, Shark Club, 714 Park Ave., Orange Park, 215-1557.

SWING THEORY 10 p.m. Jan. 28, Prohibition Kitchen, 119 St. George St., St. Augustine, 209-5704.

SUPPRESSIVE FIRE, DIRE HATRED, QUEEF HUFFER 8 p.m.

Jan. 28, Nighthawks.

THE FRITZ, UNIVERSAL GREEN 8 p.m. Jan. 28, 1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St., Downtown, $10 advance; $12 day of.

HYPNOTIC BRASS ENSEMBLE 8 p.m. Jan. 28, The Ritz Theatre, 829 Davis St. N., Downtown, 632-5555, $25-$30.

TALKING DREADS, MYSTIC DINO, PRIME TREES 8 p.m.

Jan. 28, Jack Rabbits, $10.

KENNY ROGERS, LINDA DAVIS 8 p.m. Jan. 28, ThrasherHorne Center for the Arts, 283 College Dr., Orange Park, 276-6750, $53-$325.

THE BEST OF SYNTHIA, THE DEWARS, UNCLE MARTY, LADY DUG 9 p.m. Jan. 28, Planet Sarbez.

CHRIS THOMAS BAND, 2HARD2HANDLE 9:30 p.m. Jan. 28, Whiskey Jax.

BOZ SCAGGS, ROBERT CRAY BAND 7 p.m. Jan. 29, The Florida Theatre, $39-$79.

EMBRACER, PULL THE RIPCHORD, GREAT SEA, VICTORIA PARIZO 7 p.m. Jan. 29, Planet Sarbez, $5.

HEATHER MALONEY, CLAIRE VANDIVER 8 p.m. Jan. 29, The Original Café Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311, $12 advance; $15 at door.

100 WATT VIPERS, THE VOODOO FIX, PRIMITIVE HARD DRIVE 8 p.m. Jan. 29, Jack Rabbits, $5.

HONEYFITZ, SOMETHING BIBLICAL, NOAH EAGLE, NO PDA 9 p.m. Jan. 29, Shanghai Nobby’s, 10 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 547-2188.

DARREN CORLEW 8:30 p.m. Jan. 29, Flying Iguana.

ALTERAS, THIEVES, DEFY THE TYRANT 7 p.m. Jan. 30, Jack Rabbits, $8.

KURT VILE & the VIOLATORS, LUKE ROBERTS 8 p.m.

Jan. 30, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, $27 advance (SRO); $30 day of.

ON THE CINDER, GROSS EVOLUTION 8 p.m. Jan. 30, Shantytown Pub, 22 W. Sixth St., Springfield, 798-8222.

STRIKER, APPALACHIAN DEATH TRAP 8 p.m. Jan. 31, Jack Rabbits, $8.

OPEN FIELDS 8 p.m. Feb. 1, Jack Rabbits, $8.

THE COATHANGERS, THE MOLD, THE COSMIC GROOVE, KILLMAMA 9 p.m. Feb. 1, Planet Sarbez, $8 advance; $10 day of.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

CHRISTIE DASHIELL Feb. 2, Ritz Theatre KNOCKOUT KID, BAD CASE OF BIG MOUTH, FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS Feb. 2, Nighthawks ARLO GUTHRIE Feb. 2, The Florida Theatre TOM RUSH Feb. 3, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PAT METHENY, ANTONIO SANCHEZ, LINDA OH, GWILYM SIMCOCK Feb. 3, The Florida Theatre Mind Over Matter presents Stop the Stigma (Bipolar Disorder Music Awareness Series): WHATEVER, YO, JENNI REID, SKYVIEW Feb. 3, Jack Rabbits OVERCAST Feb. 3, Nighthawks SOMMORE, ARNEZ J, JOHN WITHERSPOON, TOMMY DAVIS Feb. 3, Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts Big Dunn Birthday Party by Smokemeowtshirts: DJ PATEN LOCKE Feb. 3, Rain Dogs POCKET FULL OF SHELLS Feb. 3, 1904 Music Hall SARA WATKINS Feb. 4, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MELODIME Feb. 4, Jack Rabbits St. Johns Reads Hootenanny: THE WOBBLY TOMS Feb. 4, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Cure for Cole 5: THE REAL THING, ELIZABETH MONAHAN, WES COBB, CARDINAL SLINKY, ASKMEIFICARE, GHOSTWITCH, GOV CLUB, APPALACHIAN DEATH TRAP Feb. 4, Nighthawks BOSTON POPS ESPLANDE ORCHESTRA Feb. 4, TimesUnion Center for the Performing Arts WOODY & SUNSHINE, I LIKE DANDELIONS Feb. 4, Planet Sarbez

GROUPLOVE, SWMRS Feb. 6, Mavericks Live VOCALOSITY Feb. 7, The Florida Theatre GAELIC STORM Feb. 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ISAIAH RASHAD, LUKE SKIIIWALKER, JAY IDK Feb. 8, Jack Rabbits FAMOUS DEX Feb. 8, Mavericks Live DAVE CHAPPELLE Feb. 8, The Florida Theatre G. LOVE & SPECIAL SAUCE Feb. 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall HISS GOLDEN MESSENGER, PHIL COOK Feb. 9, Jack Rabbits BRIGHTER POET, KELLY WHITE, LAZARUS WILDE Feb. 9, 1904 Music Hall JOE BUCK YOURSELF, GHOSTWITCH, MUDTOWN Feb. 9, Rain Dogs JOSH GRACIN Feb. 9, Mavericks Live MICHAEL FRANTI & SPEARHEAD Feb. 10, Mavericks Live CHARLIE HUNTER Feb. 10, CoRK Arts District JUCIFER Feb. 10, Jack Rabbits Lo Mein Biweekly Dance Party: CRY HAVOK, VLAD THE INHALER Feb. 10, Rain Dogs THE BABES Feb. 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PERSONALITIES, AXIOM, WHISKEY THROTTLE Feb. 11, Nighthawks FEA, 5 CENT PSYCHIATRIST, PULL THE RIPCORD Feb. 11, 1904 Music Hall ANDERS OSBORNE, THE GHOST of PAUL REVERE Feb. 11, Mavericks Live UNDER the STREETLAMP Feb. 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall 2nd Annual Charity Surf Jam: DJ RAGGAMUFFIN, COLIN PATTERSON, OLD CITY DUB, JUNGLE MAN SAM, OF GOOD NATURE, THE ELLAMENO BEAT Feb. 12, Shanghai Nobby’s; proceeds benefit Surfers for Autism AL DI MEOLA Feb. 14, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall YES Feb. 15, The Florida Theatre ANDY McKEE Feb. 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CARNIFEX, FALLAJUH, RINGS OF SATURN, LORNA SHORE, SHE MUST BURN Feb. 15, 1904 Music Hall SWEET HONEY IN THE ROCK Feb. 16, Ritz Theatre MATT PRYOR, DAN ADRIANO Feb. 16, 1904 Music Hall THREE DOG NIGHT, AMERICA Feb. 16, The Florida Theatre RICHARD THOMPSON Feb. 16, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE EXPENDABLES, RDGLDGRN, TRIBAL THEORY Feb. 16, Mavericks Live SNAKE BLOOD REMEDY, WEST KING STRING BAND Feb. 16, Planet Sarbez TOBYMAC, MATT MAHER, MANDISA, MAC POWELL, CAPITAL KINGS, RYAN STEVENSON, HOLLYN Feb. 16, Veterans Memorial Arena THE PAUL THORN BAND Feb. 17, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall LUCY WOODWARD Feb. 17, Jack Rabbits THE WERKS Feb. 17, 1904 Music Hall THE PIANO GUYS Feb. 17, The Florida Theatre River City Music Festival: KEITH SWEAT, K-CI & JOJO, 112, NEXT Feb. 17, Veterans Memorial Arena THE RECORD COMPANY, JAMESTOWN REVIVAL Feb. 17, Mavericks Live TRAE CROWDER, COREY RYAN FORESTER, DREW MORGAN Feb. 18, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall

JANUARY 25-31, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 19

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC

20 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 25-31, 2017

ANTON LAPLUME BAND, PARKER URBAN BAND, GOOD WOOD Feb. 18, Jack Rabbits Lincolnville Porch Fest: CHELSEA SADDLER, TELEPATHIC LINES, RIVERNECKS, THE WOBBLY TOMS, GHOST TROPIC, AMY HENDRICKSON, SAND FLEAS, ROBBIE DAMMIT & the BROKEN STRINGS, NESTA, RAMONA QUIMBY, KYLE WAGONER, EARLY DISCLAIMERS, LONESOME BERT & the SKINNY LIZARDS, KENSLEY STEWART, THE WILLOWWACKS, ASLYN & the NAYSAYERS Feb. 18-25, St. Augustine Medal Madness (Tribute Night): THUNDER JACK (AC/ DC), MEDAL MILITIA (Metallica), CHEMICAL WARFARE (Slayer), ELITE (Deftones) Feb. 18, Mavericks Live BEAUSOLEIL avec MICHAEL DOUCET Feb. 19, Café Eleven SOUTHSIDE JOHNNY & the ASBURY JUKES Feb. 19, The Florida Theatre CROSSING RUBICON, LOST ELYSIUM Feb. 19, Jack Rabbits COLIN HAY, CHRIS TRAPPER Feb. 22, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall JOE BONAMASSA Feb. 22, The Florida Theatre TONY BENNETT Feb. 22, Times-Union Center PENNY & SPARROW Feb. 22, Café Eleven MINDI ABAIR Feb. 23, Ritz Theatre MANHATTAN TRANSFER, TAKE 6 Feb. 23, The Florida Theatre SOUTHERN CULTURE ON THE SKIDS Feb. 23, Jack Rabbits LOVEBETTIE Feb. 23, Café Eleven FOREIGNER, KANSAS Feb. 24, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MASTERS OF ILLUSION Feb. 24, The Florida Theatre ELIZABETH COOK, DALE WATSON Feb. 24, P.V. Concert Hall JONATHAN RICHMAN, TOMMY LARKINS Feb. 24, Jack Rabbits THE MOVEMENT Feb. 25, Jack Rabbits GO GET GONE Feb. 25, The Volstead LUKE BRYAN, BRETT ELDREDGE Feb. 25, Veterans Memorial Arena OLD 97’s, BOTTLE ROCKETS Feb. 25, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PEPPER, LESS THAN JAKE, THE ATTACK, THE BUNNY GANG Feb. 25, St. Augustine Amphitheatre VICKI LAWRENCE Feb. 25, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts DENNIS DeYOUNG, JACKSONVILLE ROCK SYMPHONY Feb. 26, The Florida Theatre THAT 1 GUY Feb. 26, 1904 Music Hall AGENT ORANGE, GUTTERMOUTH, THE QUEERS, THE ATOM AGE Feb. 26, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Backyard Party JUSTIN HAYWARD, MIKE DAWES Feb. 27, P.V. Concert Hall CHRISTIAN LOPEZ Feb. 27, Jack Rabbits TAJ EXPRESS Feb. 28, Times-Union Center’s Moran Theater AMOS LEE Feb. 28, The Florida Theatre MARC COHN March 1, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall GIANT PANDA GUERILLA DUB SQUAD, BIG SAM’S FUNKY NATION March 1, 1904 Music Hall PIERCE PETTIS March 2, Café Eleven RICK SPRINGFIELD March 2, The Florida Theatre JIMMY EAT WORLD March 2, Mavericks Live THE WEIGHT, members of THE BAND March 3, P.V. Concert Hall 36th Annual St. Augustine Lions Seafood Festival: JIM STAFFORD, HOUSE CATS, BILL DOYLE QUARTET, LINDA COLE, RUSTY ANCHORS, more March 3, 4 & 5, Francis Field CARY ELWES March 3, The Florida Theatre PRECON, ASTARI NITE, ENTERTAINMENT, MOYAMOYA March 3, 1904 Music Hall OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN March 4, Thrasher-Horne Center LUCINDA WILLIAMS & HER BAND March 4, P.V. Concert Hall DOROTHY, THE GEORGIA FLOOD March 4, Jack Rabbits 9TH STREET STOMPERS March 4, Prohibition Kitchen THE GROWLERS March 4, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Backyard Party SPYRO GYRA March 5, The Florida Theatre KT TUNSTALL March 5, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BLOODSHOT BILL, THE WILDTONES, RIVERNECKS March 5, Planet Sarbez WILLIE NELSON & FAMILY, DWIGHT YOAKAM March 7, St. Augustine Amphitheatre THE ENGLISH BEAT, THE SKATALITES March 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PASADENA March 8, Café Eleven EARTH, WIND & FIRE March 9, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DEVON ALLMAN March 9, Mojo Kitchen GALLAGHER March 9, Mavericks Live TAJ MAHAL, WHETHERMAN March 10, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CATHERINE RUSSELL March 10, Ritz Theatre KODO March 11, The Florida Theatre ROBERT EARL KEEN & HIS BAND March 11 & 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CLINT BLACK March 12, The Florida Theatre LIL DEBBIE, POTLUCK, CHAYO NASH, MATTHEW CARTER March 12, Jack Rabbits NEWSBOYS March 12, Times-Union Center AUDRA McDONALD, JACKSONVILLE CHILDREN’S CHORUS March 12, Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Jacoby Symphony Hall CITY AND COLOUR March 13, Mavericks Live BAD SUNS, FROM INDIAN LAKES March 14, Jack Rabbits DAVID BROMBERG QUINTET March 14, P.V. Concert Hall CHARLIE DANIELS BAND March 16, The Florida Theatre IGOR & THE RED ELVISES March 16, Café Eleven Anastasia Music Festival: THE DEL McCOURY BAND, DAVE GRISMAN’S BLUEGRASS EXPERIENCE, SAM BUSH, ELEPHANT REVIVAL, FRUITION, CABINET, JEFF AUSTIN BAND, THE TRAVELIN’ McCOURYS, MANDOLIN ORANGE, JOE PUG, SIERRA HULL, THE BROOMESTIX, DUSTBOWL REVIVAL, JON STICKLEY TRIO, GRITS & SOUL, NIKKI TALLEY, TAYLOR MARTIN, STEVE PRUETT March 16-18, St. Augustine Amphitheatre GET THE LED OUT March 17, The Florida Theatre

TORTOISE March 18, Jack Rabbits Rhythm in the Night: IRISH DANCE SPECTACULAR March 18, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts ADAM SAVAGE, PILOBOLUS SHADOWLAND March 21, The Florida Theatre THE HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS March 21, Veterans Memorial Arena 24 Karat Gold Show: STEVIE NICKS, PRETENDERS March 23, Veterans Memorial Arena I Love The ’90s Tour: VANILLA ICE, NAUGHTY BY NATURE, SUGAR RAY’S MARK McGRATH, BIZ MARKIE, ALL-4-ONE, YOUNG MC March 24, St. Augustine Amphitheatre GABRIEL IGLESIAS March 24, The Florida Theatre MIKE LOVE March 24, Jack Rabbits CHEYENNE JACKSON March 24, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall 1964: THE TRIBUTE March 25, St. Augustine Amphitheatre AIR SUPPLY March 26, The Florida Theatre RICKY SKAGGS & KENTUCKY THUNDER March 26, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SPRING RECORD FAIR March 26, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MODERN BASEBALL, KEVIN + THE GOD DAMN BAND, SORORITY NOISE, THE OBSESSIVES March 28, Mavericks Live GEOFF TATE March 29, Jack Rabbits NITTY GRITTY DIRT BAND March 30, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall DINOSAUR JR. March 31, Mavericks Live JIM BRICKMAN March 31, The Ritz Theatre HOME FREE March 31, The Florida Theatre Rhythm & Ribs: LAURA REED, THE HIP ABDUCTION, TAKE COVER, GO GET GONE, THE KILWEIN FAMILY TREE-O, ANDY FRASCO & THE U.N., EAGER BEAVER, BISCUIT MILLER March 31, April 1 & 2, Francis Field, St. Augustine Fool’s Paradise: LETTUCE, JOE RUSSO’S ALMOST DEAD, THE FLOOZIES, MANIC SCIENCE, THE MAIN SQUEEZE, ORGAN FREEMAN, OTEIL BURBRIDGE, MORE March 31 & April 1, St. Augustine Amphitheatre RICK THOMAS April 1, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall XIU XIU April 1, The Sleeping Giant Film Festival JACK BROADBENT April 1, The Ritz Theatre SETH GLIER April 1, Café Eleven STEVE MILLER BAND, LOS LONELY BOYS April 2, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ANA POPOVIC April 5, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE WAILERS REUNITED PROJECT April 6, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall LEO KOTTKE, KELLER WILLIAMS April 6, The Florida Theatre Legends of Southern Hip Hop: SCARFACE, MYSTIKAL, 8 BALL & MJG, TRICK DADDY, BUN B, JUVENILE, PASTOR TROY April 7, T-U Center LITTLE RIVER BAND, JACKSONVILLE ROCK SYMPHONY April 8, The Florida Theatre ALAN JACKSON, LEE ANN WOMACK April 8, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ANDRAE MURCHINSON April 8, Ritz Theatre SHOVELS & ROPE, MATTHEW LOGAN VASQUEZ April 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall NuSoul Revival Tour: MUSIQ SOUsLCHILD, LYFE JENNINGS, AVERY SUNSHINE, KINDRED THE FAMILY SOUL April 8, Times-Union Center BUDDY GUY, THE RIDES (Stephen Stills, Kenny Wayne Shepherd, Barry Goldberg) April 9, St. Augustine Amphitheatre THE HILLBENDERS (play The Who’s “Tommy”) April 9, The Florida Theatre FORTUNATE YOUTH, JOSH HEINRICH & SKILLINJAH FOR PEACE BAND, IYA TERRA April 12, Jack Rabbits ALL THEM WITCHES April 12, Café Eleven SURFER BLOOD April 14, Jack Rabbits CHRONIXX April 14, Mavericks Live PERIPHERY, THE CONTORTIONIST, NORMA JEAN, INFINITY SHRED April 15, Mavericks Live DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS April 16, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CHRIS BOTTI April 18, The Florida Theatre Wanee Music Festival: BOB WEIRD & THE CAMPFIRE BAND, TREY ANASTASIO BAND, WIDESPREAD PANIC, GOV’T MULE, DARK STAR ORCHESTRA, DR. JOHN & THE NITE TRIPPERS, JJ GREY & MOFRO, LES BRERS (BUTCH TRUCKS, JAIMOE, OTEIL BURBRIDGE, MARC QUINONES, JACK PEARSON, PATE BERGERON, BRUCE KATZ, LAMAR WILLIAMS JR.), JAIMOE’S JASSSZ BAND, BLACKBERRY SMOKE, LEFTOVER SALMON (MUSIC OF NEIL YOUNG), MATISYAHU, THE GREYBOY ALLSTARS, KELLER WILLIAMS’ GRATEFUL GRASS, PAPADOSIO, TURKUAZ, PINK TALKING FU (MUSIC OF DAVID BOWIE & PRINCE), PINK TALKING FISH, KUNG FU, DJ LOGIC, BOBBY LEE ROGERS TRIO, DEVON ALLMAN BAND, THE MARCUS KING BAND, YETI TRIO, BROTHERS & SISTERS, BUTCH TRUCKS & THE FREIGHT TRAIN BAND April 20, 21 & 22, Suwannee Music Park MJ LIVE! April 20-23, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts TOWER of POWER April 22, The Florida Theatre RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS April 23, Veterans Memorial Arena NATHANIEL RATELIFF & THE NIGHT SWEATS April 26, St. Augustine Amphitheatre BIANCA DEL RIO April 29, T-U Center tLYDIA CAN’T BREATH April 29, Jack Rabbits UMPHREY’S McGEE, BIG SOMETHING April 29, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Welcome to Rockville: SOUNDGARDEN, DEF LEPPARD, A PERFECT CIRCLE, THE OFFSPRING, MASTODON, CHEVELLE, SEETHER, PAPA ROACH, THREE DAYS GRACE, PIERCE THE VEIL, COHEED & CAMBRIA, ALTER BRIDGE, THE PRETTY RECKLESS, AMON AMARTH, EAGLES OF DEATH METAL, HIGHLY SUSPECT, DILLINGER ESCAPE PLAN, IN FLAMES, GOJIRA, IN THIS MOMENT, MOTIONLESS IN WHITE, ALL THAT REMAINS, NOTHING MORE, RIVAL SONS, BEARTOOTH,

EVERY TIME I DIE, ATTILA, STARSET, DINOSAUR PILE-UP, I PREVAIL, KYNG, CROBOT, VOLUMES, SYLAR, FIRE FROM THE GODS, AS LIONS, BADFLOWER, GOODBYE JUNE, FRANK CARTER & THE RATTLESNAKES, COVER YOUR TRACKS, THE CHARM THE FURY April 29 & 30, Metropolitan Park STEVE WINWOOD May 5, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ERIC CHURCH May 5, Veterans Memorial Arena BASTILLE May 7, St. Augustine Amphitheatre SAY ANYTHING, BAYSIDE May 23, Mavericks Live MAYDAY PARADE KNUCKLE PUCK, MILESTONES May 24, Mavericks Live IDINA MENZEL (“Elsa” from “Frozen”) May 26, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Happy Together Tour: FLO & EDDIE (The Turtles), CHUCK NEGRON, THE ASSOCIATION, THE BOX TOPS, THE COWSILLS, THE ARCHIES, RON DANTE June 11, The Florida Theatre PURE PRAIRIE LEAGUE, FIREFALL, ORLEANS July 14, The Florida Theatre CIRQUE DU SOLEIL’S OVO Aug. 2-6, Veterans Memorial Arena TIM McGRAW & FAITH HILL Sept. 16, Veterans Memorial Arena 2CELLOS Sept. 23, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DELFEAYO MARSALIS Sept. 29, Riverside Fine Arts Series

LIVE MUSIC CLUBS

AMELIA ISLAND + FERNANDINA ALLEY CAT BEER HOUSE, 316 Centre St., 491-1001 Live music 6:30 p.m. Jan. 27. Dan Voll every Wed. LA MANCHA, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646 Miguel Paley 5:30-9 p.m. every Fri.-Sun. Javier Parez every Sun. SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652 Tad Jennings 6:30 p.m. Jan. 26. Cliff Dorsey 6 p.m. Jan. 27.

Mark O’Quinn, Cassidy Leigh, Davis Turner Jan. 28. JC & Mike 6 p.m. Jan. 29 SURF RESTAURANT, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Reggie 2 p.m. Jan. 26 & 31

AVONDALE + ORTEGA

CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. Live jazz Sun. Live music 9 p.m. Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free 9 p.m. every Tue. & Thur. Indie dance 9 p.m. every Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance every Fri. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200 Live music every Thur.-Sat.

THE BEACHES

(All venues are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted) 1ST STREET LOFT, 502 N. First St., 241-7848 Amanda Liesinger 7 p.m. Jan. 26 BLUE TYPHOON, 2309 Beach Blvd., 379-3789 Billy Bowers 5 p.m. Jan. 25. Live music most weekends BRASS ANCHOR PUB, 2292 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0301 Joe Oliff 8 p.m. Jan. 25. Live music on weekends CASA MARINA HOTEL, 691 First St. N., 270-0025 The Chris Thomas Band Jan. 25 CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 DJ Hal every Sat. Michael Funge 6:30 p.m. every Sun. FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & TEQUILA BAR, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 3 the Band 9 p.m. Jan. 26. Evan Michael & The Well Wishers 10 p.m. Jan. 27 & 28.

Darren Corlew 8:30 p.m. Jan. 29. Live music every Thur.-Sun. GREEN ROOM BREWING, 228 Third St. N., 201-9283 El Dub Jan. 27 GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925 Groov 7:30 p.m. every Wed. Murray Goff Fri. Under the Bus every Sat. Gene Nordan 6 p.m. every Sun. LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 First St. N., 249-5181 Dirty Pete 10 p.m. Jan. 27. Let’s Ride 10 p.m. Jan. 28. Dirty Pete 10 p.m. every Wed. Split Tone every Thur. Chillula every Sun. Be Easy every Mon. Krakajax every Tue. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 Third St. N., 241-5600 Bonnie Blue 9 p.m. Jan. 26. Str8 Up 9 p.m. Jan. 27 MEZZA RESTAURANT & BAR, 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573 Gypsies Ginger every Wed. Mike Shackelford, Steve Shanholtzer every Thur. Mezza Shuffle every Mon. Trevor Tanner Tue. RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877 Live music every Wed.-Sun. SOUTHERN GROUNDS & CO., 200 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-2922 Jazz Corner 6 p.m. every Tue. WHISKEY JAX, 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy., 853-5973 Bill Ricci 7 p.m. Jan. 26. Murray Goff 6 p.m. every Wed. ZETA BREWING, 131 First Ave. N., 372-0727 Live music every Thur.-Sat.

CAMDEN COUNTY, GA.

CAPTAIN STAN’S SMOKEHOUSE, 700 Bedell Dr., Woodbine, 912-729-9552 Acoustic music 6:30 p.m. every Sat. J’S TAVERN, 711 Osborne St., St. Marys, 912-882-5280 Jamie Renee & the Walkers Jan. 27. Two Dudes from Texas Feb. 3

DOWNTOWN

1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N. The Fritz, Universal Green 8 p.m. Jan. 28. Gabbi, Cortell, The Gentile Truth 6 p.m. Jan. 29 DE REAL TING, 128 W. Adams St., 633-9738 De Lions of Jah 7 p.m. Jan. 27.

DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 DJ Brandon every Thur. DJ NickFresh every Sat. DJ Randall every Mon. DJ Hollywood every Tue. FIONN MacCOOL’S, Jacksonville Landing, 374-1247 Spade McQuade 6 p.m. Jan. 25. Ace Winn 8 p.m. Jan. 27.

HOURGLASS PUB, 345 E. Bay St., 469-1719 Time Travelers Ball Jan. 28. Man Darino Feb. 1. Shane Mauss Feb. 4.

INTUITION ALE WORKS, 720 King St., 683-7720 Strangerwolf, Folk Is People 6-9 p.m. Jan. 26.

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 Hard 2 Handle 7 pm. Jan. 27. Catch the Groove Jan. 28.

Stevie Fingers Jan. 29.

MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Shotgun 10 p.m. every Sat. MAVERICKS LIVE, Jax Landing, 356-1110 Magic Mike Tour Feb. 4. Joe Buck, DJ Justin every Thur.-Sat.

FLEMING ISLAND

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999 Live music most weekends WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Smooth McFlea 9 p.m. Jan. 27. Boogie Freaks 9 p.m. Jan. 28. Gary Campbell Jan. 29. Live music every Thur.-Sun.

INTRACOASTAL

CLIFF’S BAR & GRILL, 3033 Monument Rd., Ste. 2, 645-5162 Last Resort Jan. 25. The Ride 10 p.m. Jan. 27 & 28. Coconut Harley benefit Jan. 29.

JERRY’S SPORTS BAR & GRILLE, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766 Spectra 7:30 p.m. Jan. 27. Mr. Natural 7:30 p.m. Jan. 28

MANDARIN

ENZA’S ITALIAN RESTAURANT, 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 109, 268-4458 Brian Iannucci Jan. 25 & 29 TAPS BAR & GRILL, 2220 C.R. 210, St. Johns, 819-1554 Chuck Nash 8 p.m. Jan. 25

MARDI GRAS, 123 San Marco Ave., 823-8806 Umbrella Theory 9 p.m. Jan. 27. Funk Shui 10 p.m. Jan. 28. Fre Gordon, acoustic open mic 7 p.m. every Sun. Justin Gurnsey, Musicians Exchange 8 p.m. Mon. THE ORIGINAL CAFÉ ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311 Heather Maloney, Claire Vandiver 8 p.m. Jan. 29 PLANET SARBEZ, 115 Anastasia Blvd., 342-0632 The Blind Spots, The Dewars, Brent Byrd 8 p.m. Jan. 26. The Best of Synthia, The Dewars, Uncle Marty, Lady Dug 9 p.m.

Jan. 28. Embracer, Pull The Ripchord, Great Sea, Victoria Parizo 7 p.m. Jan. 29. The Coathangers, The Mold, The Cosmic Groove 9 p.m. Feb. 1 SHANGHAI NOBBY’S, 10 Anastasia Blvd., 547-2188 Honeyfitz, Something Biblical, Noah Eagle, No PDA 9 p.m.

Jan. 29.

TEMPO, 16 Cathedral Pl., 342-0286 Douglas Arrington 8 p.m. Jan. 26. Douglas Arrington, Jax English Salsa Band Jan. 27. Jazzy Blue, House Cats Jan. 28. Jax English Salsa Band 6 p.m. Jan. 29. Bluez Dudez Jan. 31. Open mic 7:30 p.m. every Wed. TRADEWINDS LOUNGE, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Cotton Mouth 9 p.m. Jan. 27 & 28. The Down Low every Wed. JP Driver every Thur. Elizabeth Roth every Sat. Moses Creek every Sun. Matanzas every Mon. Those Guys every Tue.

SAN MARCO

DEE’S MUSIC BAR, 2141 Loch Rane Blvd., Ste. 140, 375-2240 DJ Fly Jan. 27. No Saints 9:30 p.m. Jan. 28.

THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael on the piano every Tue.-Sat. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Sidecar Ginny 10 p.m. Jan. 25. DJ Big Mike 10 p.m. Jan. 26. Cupids Alley 10 p.m. Jan. 27. The Chrome Fangs, Sasquatch on Mars, Holey Miss Moley 10 p.m. Jan. 28.

SHARK CLUB, 714 Park Ave., 215-1557 Digital Skyline 9 p.m. Jan. 25. Tom Bennett Band 9 p.m. Jan. 28.

JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Reed Mathis & Electric Beethoven, Lucky Costello 8 p.m. Jan. 26.

The Dog Apollo, Harakiri, Canopy Hill, Denver Hall 8 p.m.

Jan. 27. Talking Dreads, Mystic Dino, Prime Trees Jan. 28.

100 Watt Vipers, The Voodoo Fix, Primitive Hard Drive Jan. 29. Alteras, Thieves, Defy the Tyrant 7 p.m. Jan. 30. Striker, Appalachian Death Trap Jan. 31. Open Fields Feb. 1. Stop the Stigma (Bipolar Disorder Music Awareness Series): Whatever, YO, Jenni Reid, Skyview Feb. 3 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Chris Duarte 7:30 p.m. Jan. 26. Verlon Thompson, Mike Shackelford 7:30 p.m. Jan. 27. Andrew McKnight, Mark Williams 7:30 p.m. Jan. 28

PONTE VEDRA

SOUTHSIDE + BAYMEADOWS

ORANGE PARK + MIDDLEBURG

PUSSER’S GRILLE, 816 A1A, 280-7766 Live music every Fri. & Sat. TABLE 1, 330 A1A, 280-5515 Gary Starling Jazz Band 7:30 p.m. Jan. 26

RIVERSIDE + WESTSIDE

MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave., 388-7807 Gabby Baglino, Julien Kozak, Trevor Rankin, Lindsay Bardol 7:30 p.m. Jan. 27. iPrayz, Zack Nesbitt, Low Key, B.A. Warrior, Monica Dedman, Royal Aliens, J Rock, Wrekless Abandon, Denzel Singleton, Chloe-Olivia, U-Neek, Inner Light 7 p.m. Jan. 28 NIGHTHAWKS, 2952 Roosevelt Blvd. The Blind Spots, The Young Step 8 p.m. Jan. 25. Artistree 8 p.m. Jan. 27.

Suppressive Fire, Dire Hatred, Queef Huffer, TBA, By Southern Druid Jan. 28. Knockout Kid, Bad Case Of Big Mouth, Friday Night Lights Feb. 2. Overcast Feb. 3. Live music most weekends RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969 Big Dunn Birthday Party by Smokemeowtshirts: DJ Paten Locke Feb. 3.

TOM & BETTY’S, 4409 Roosevelt Blvd., 387-3311 Shayne Rammler 8 p.m. Feb. 1

ST. AUGUSTINE

CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 TJ Brown 2 p.m., Ancient City Keepers 7 p.m. Jan. 27. Deron Baker 2 p.m., Beautiful Bobby Blackmon & the B3 Blues Band 7 p.m. Jan. 28. Vinny Jacobs 2 p.m. Jan. 29

CORNER BISTRO & WINE BAR, 9823 Tapestry Park Circle, 619-1931 Matthew Hall 8 p.m. every Thur.-Sat. GREEK STREET CAFÉ, 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 503-0620 Tavernalive 6 p.m. every Mon. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955 Charlie Walker Jan. 26. Paul Ivey Jan. 27. Anton LaPlume Jan. 28.

WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., 634-7208 Bill Ricci Jan. 25. Go Get Gone, Party Cartel 9:30 p.m. Jan. 27. Chris Thomas Band, 2Hard2Handle 9:30 p.m. Jan. 28.

Melissa Smith open mic every Thur. Blues jam every Sun. Murray Goff, Country Jam every Wed.

SPRINGFIELD + NORTHSIDE

BOSTON’S, 13070 City Station Dr., 751-7499 Shayne Rammler 9 p.m. Jan. 26 SANDOLLAR, 9716 Heckscher Dr., 251-2449 Live music every Fri.-Sun. SHANTYTOWN PUB, 22 W. Sixth St., 798-8222 On The Cinder, Gross Evolution 8 p.m. Jan. 30.

_________________________________________ To list your band’s gig, please send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price, and a contact number to print to Daniel A. Brown, email dbrown@folioweekly.com or by the U.S. Postal Service, 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Events run on a space-available basis. Deadline is at noon every Wednesday for the next Wednesday’s publication.

Young country bucks LEE BRICE (pictured), JUSTIN MOORE, and WILLIAM MICHAEL MORGAN open up the honky tonk Jan. 26 at Veterans Memorial Arena, Downtown.

JANUARY 25-31, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 21

FOLIO DINING

Downtown Jacksonville is home to ZODIAC BAR & GRILL, which features a unique lunch buffet of both Mediterranean and American cuisine. photo by Dennis Ho

AMELIA ISLAND + FERNANDINA BEACH

29 SOUTH EATS, 29 S. Third St., 277-7919, 29southrestaurant.com. Historic downtown bistro’s Chef Scotty Schwartz serves traditional regional cuisine with a modern twist. $$ L Tu-Sa; D M.-Sa; R Sa THE AMELIA TAVERN, 318 Centre St., 310-6088, theameliatavern.com. Contemporary hand-crafted, locally sourced comfort fare: local shrimp, small/big plates, organic greens, sandwiches. $$ FB TO D M; L & D Tu-Sa; Brunch Su. BEACH DINER, 2006 S. Eighth St., 310-3750, beachdiner.com.

Innovative breakfast: Eggs on the Bayou, fish-n-grits; French toast, riders, omelets. Lunch fare: salads, burgers, sandwiches, shrimp & crabmeat salad. $ K TO B R L Daily BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F On the water at Centre Street’s end, it’s Southern hospitality in an upscale atmosphere; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo.com. F In historic building, family-owned café has worldly fare, madefrom-scratch dressings, sauces, desserts, sourcing fresh greens, veggies, seafood. Dine in or al fresco under oak-shaded patio.

Microbrew Karibrew Pub has beer brewed onsite, imports. $$ FB K TO R, Su; L Daily, D Tu-Su in season CHEZ LEZAN BAKERY CO., 1014 Atlantic Ave., 491-4663, chezlezanbakery.com. Fresh European-style breads, pastries: croissants, muffins, cakes, pies. $ TO B R L Daily THE CRAB TRAP, 31 N. Second St., 261-4749, ameliacrabtrap.com. F Nearly 40 years, family-owned-andoperated. Fresh local seafood, steaks, specials. HH. $$ FB L D Daily DAVID’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE, 802 Ash St., 310-6049, ameliaislanddavids.com. Steaks, fresh seafood, rack of lamb

DINING DIRECTORY KEY AVERAGE ENTRÉE COST $ $$

$

< $10

$$$

10- $20

$$$$

$

20- $35 > $35

ABBREVIATIONS & SPECIAL NOTES BW = Beer/Wine

L = Lunch

FB = Full Bar

D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted Free Folio Weekly Bite Club Event F = Folio Weekly Distribution Spot

K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch

To list your restaurant, call your account manager or call or text SAM TAYLOR, Folio Weekly publisher, at 904-860-2465 (email: staylor@folioweekly.com).

22 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 25-31, 2017

and ribeye, Chilean sea bass, in an upscale atmosphere. Chef Wesley Cox has a new lounge menu. $$$$ FB D Nightly DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 474313 E. S.R. 200, 310-6945. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. GREEN TURTLE TAVERN, 14 S. Third St., 321-2324, greenturtletavern.com. Legendary hangout in a historic shotgun shack; Chicago-style Vienna beef hot dogs, pub fare, cold beer, bourbon selection, chill vibe. $ FB L D Daily JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddianescafe.com. F Renovated 1887 shotgun house.

Faves: jambalaya, French toast, pancakes, mac & cheese, crêpes. Vegan items. Inside or porch overlooking historic area. $$ BW K TO B L D Daily LA MANCHA, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646. Spanish, Portuguese fare, Brazilian flair. Tapas, seafood, steaks, sangria. Drink specials. AYCE paella Sun. $$$ FB K TO D Nightly LARRY’S SUBS, 474272 S.R. 200, 844-2225. F SEE O. PARK. LECHONERA EL COQUÍ, 232 N. Second St., 432-7545. New Puerto Rican place. Chulleta kan kan (pork chops), Tripletta churosco sandwich, more. $ FB TO L D Tu-Su MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moonriverpizza.net. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Authentic Northern-style pizzas, 20+ toppings, pie/slice. Calzones, salads. $ BW TO L D M-Sa THE MUSTARD SEED CAFÉ, 833 Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Casual organic eatery, juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juices, herbal teas, coffees, daily specials. $$ K TO B L M-Sa NANA TERESA’S BAKE SHOP, 31 S. Fifth St., 277-7977, nanateresa.com. Everything’s made with organic ingredients when possible. Cupcakes, cakes, pies, cheesecakes, cookies, pastries, specialties. $ TO Tu-Su PABLO’S MEXICAN CUISINE, 12 N. Second St., 261-0049, pablosmg1.com. In historic district; authentic Mexican fare: chimichangas, fajitas, burritos, tacos, daily specials, vegetarian. $$ FB K TO D M-Thu; L & D F-Sa THE PATIO PLACE, 416 Ash St., 410-3717, patioplacebistrocom.

Bistro/wine bar/crêperie’s menu of global fare uses crêpes: starters, entrées, shareables, desserts. $$ BW TO B L D Tu-Su POINTE RESTAURANT, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabethpointelodge.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. In award-winning inn Elizabeth Pointe Lodge. Seaside dining; in or out. Hot buffet breakfast daily, full lunch menu. Homestyle soups, specialty sandwiches, salads, desserts. $$$ BW K B L D Daily THE SALTY PELICAN BAR & GRILL, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner.

2nd-story outdoor bar. Owners T.J. & Al offer local seafood, fish tacos, Mayport shrimp, po’boys, cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Oceanfront.

Award-winning handmade crabcakes, fried pickles, fresh seafood.

Open-air 2nd floor balcony, playground. $$ FB K L D Daily TASTY’S BURGERS & FRIES, 710 Centre St., 321-0409, tastysamelia.com. In historic district, fresh fast-food alternative. Fresh meats, handcut fries, homemade sauces/ soups, handspun shakes. $ BW K L D Daily T-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. Eighth St., 261-6310. F Family-owned-and-operated 18+ years. Blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L M-Sa TROPICAL SMOOTHIE CAFÉ, 463909 S.R. 200, Ste. 6, Yulee, 468-7099, tropicalsmoothie.com. Flatbreads, sandwiches, wraps. Smoothies: classic, superfoods, supercharged, indulgent. $ TO B L D Daily

ARLINGTON + REGENCY

DICK’S WINGS, 9119 Merrill Rd., Ste. 19, 745-9300. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK.

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DINING DIRECTORY DINING DIRECTORY LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1301Wraps, Monument Rd., Ste. 5, bacon, omelets, eggs, toast.

Bloody Marys, mimosas, 724-5802.

F SEE ORANGE peach Bellini. $$ FB K TO B PARK. L Daily SID LINDA’S SEAFOOD MARKET &725 RESTAURANT, 12220 THE&FISH COMPANY RESTAURANT, Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 12, Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 503-8276.Bite Pick Club. a whole freshraw fish,bar, AB, 246-0123, thefi109, shcojax.com.

Oyster have cleaned, filleted, cooked to order.

Dine in, take out. freshitlocal seafood, Mayport shrimp, crab, lobster.

Homestyle Housemade sauces. $$ KHHTOSun. L D $$ Daily desserts. Patio; all-day FB K TO L D Daily FLAMING SEAFOOD & SHAO KAO BBQ, 1289 Penman Rd., AVONDALE ORTEGA 853-6398. New place (is + it Chinese?

Barbecue? Seafood?)

CHOMP CHOMP, Herschelspiced, St., 329-1679. serves meats and4162 vegetables, skeweredRelocated. on bamboo Chef-inspired: The Philadelphia Experiment pork over sticks – like Chinese street food. $ BW TO L(sweet D Daily arugula), panko-crusted chicken, burgers, salad,Blvd., bahn FLYING IGUANA Taqueria & Tequila Bar,Waldorf 207 Atlantic mi, fried chicken, The Come (portabella mushroom, NB,Southern 853-5680, flyingiguana.com.

FUp Latin American: tacos, green tomato salsa,Cubana almonds). chips, seafood, carnitas, fare.Curry 100+Chomp tequilas. $ FBpasta TO Lsalad.

D Daily HH. $ BW1266 L D Mon.-Sat. GUSTO, Beach Blvd., 372-9925, gustojax.com. Classic THE FOX RESTAURANT, 3580 Johnsmenu: Ave.,homestyle 387-2669.pasta, Old World Roman cuisine, largeSt.Italian Owners Ian andfiMary Chase offer fresh fare, homemade beef, chicken, sh delicacies; open pizza-tossing kitchen. desserts.

Breakfast all day; $$ signature burgers, meatloaf, Reservations encouraged.

FB TO Litems: R D Tu-Su fried $$ Third BW K St. L DS., Daily The green HASH tomatoes.

HOUSE, 610 422-0644, HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., sourced, Ste. 8, 389-5631, thelovingcuphashhouse.com.

Locally locally roasted harpoonlouies.net.

Locally owned & no operated 20+ years. $ coffees, gluten-free,F vegan, vegetarian; GMOs/hormones.

American 1/2-lb. burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta. Local K TO B R pub.

L Daily beers, HH. Subs, $$ FB 657 K TOThird L D Daily LARRY’S St. N., 247-9620. F SEE O. PARK. MELLOW Johns Ave., FSte. MELLOWMUSHROOM, MUSHROOM 3611 PIZZASt. BAKERS, 1018388-0200.

Third St. N., Bite Club. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES. 2, 241-5600, mellowmushroom.com.

F Bite Club. 2016 PINEGROVE DELI, 1511 PineGrove Best of JaxMARKET Winner. &Hoagies, gourmet pizzas:Ave., Mighty Meaty, 389-8655, F 2016 BestHH. of Jax vegetarian,pinegrovemarket.com.

Kosmic Karma. 35 tap beers.

Nonstop $ FB K Winner.

40+ years. Burgers, Cubans, subs, wraps. Onsite TO L D Daily butcher, prime beef. CraftF beers. & Sat. METRO USDA Diner,choice 1534 3rd St.aged N., 853-6817.

2016Fri. Best of fiJax sh fry. $ BW TO L D M-Sa Winner.

SEEB SAN MARCO. RESTAURANT 381-0909, M SHACK, 299ORSAY, Atlantic3630 Blvd.,Park AB, St., 241-2599, shackburgers.com. restaurantorsay.com.

Best Jax Winner.

Burgers, hot dogs, fries, 2016 shakes.

Dineofin/out. $$ BW L DFrench/ Daily Southern bistro; local organic ingredients.

Steak frites, NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 1585mussels, Third St. pork chops. $$$2016 FB R,Best Su; DofNightly N., 458-1390.

Jax Winner. SEE MANDARIN. SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902RESTAURANT, Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, PARSONS SEAFOOD 1451 Atlantic Blvd., NB, simplysaras.net.

F Down-home fare from scratch: eggplant 595-5789, parsonsseafoodrestaurant.com.

The landmark fries, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & placepimento moved; cheese, still serving local seafood dishes, sides, specialty dumplings, fare. $$ FBdesserts.

K TO L D BYOB. Tu-Su $$ K TO L D Tu-Sa, B Sa POE’S TAVERN, 363 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7637, BAYMEADOWS poestaverncom. Gastropub, 50+ beers, burgers, fish tacos, AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Chili, Philips Hwy., 105, 731-4300.

FFB 2016 Edgar’s Drunken daily fishSte. sandwich special. $$ K Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES. L D Daily INDIA’S, 9802 Baymeadows Ste. 8,207 620-0777, RAGTIME TAVERN SEAFOODRd., & GRILL, Atlantic Blvd., indiajaxcom.

F 241-7877, 2016 Bestragtimetavern.com. of Jax Winner. Authentic cuisine, Atlantic Beach, F 30+ years, lunch Curries, chicken, shrimp, fish iconicbuffet. seafood place.vegetables, Blackened lamb, snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime tandoori. $$ BW M-Sa; DSun. Nightly shrimp. Daily HH,L brunch $$ FB L D Daily LARRY’S SUBS, 8616 Baymeadows Rd.,St.739-2498.

F SEE SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 1018 Third N., 372-4456, ORANGE PARK. saltlifefoodshack.com.

Specialty items, tuna poke bowl, METRO DINER, 9802 Baymeadows fresh sushi, Ensenada tacos, local Rd., fried425-9142. shrimp. $$FFB2016 Best Winner. SEE SAN MARCO. K TO of L DJax Daily NATIVE SUN Natural GRILLE Foods Market & Deli, 11030 SLIDERS SEAFOOD & OYSTER BAR, 218 Baymeadows First St., Rd., Best of Jax Winner. SEE MANDARIN. NB, 260-2791.

246-0881,2016 slidersseafoodgrille.com.

Beach-casual

bacon, omelets, eggs, toast. Wraps, Bloody Marys, mimosas, peach Bellini. $$ FB K TO B L Daily THE FISH COMPANY RESTAURANT, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 12, AB, 246-0123, thefishcojax.com. Bite Club. Oyster raw bar, fresh local seafood, Mayport shrimp, crab, lobster. Homestyle desserts. Patio; all-day HH Sun. $$ FB K TO L D Daily FLAMING SEAFOOD & SHAO KAO BBQ, 1289 Penman Rd., 853-6398. New place (is it Chinese? Barbecue? Seafood?) serves meats and vegetables, spiced, skewered on bamboo sticks – like Chinese street food. $ BW TO L D Daily FLYING IGUANA Taqueria & Tequila Bar, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680, flyingiguana.com. F Latin American: tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana fare. 100+ tequilas. $ FB TO L D Daily GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925, gustojax.com. Classic Old World Roman cuisine, large Italian menu: homestyle pasta, beef, chicken, fish delicacies; open pizza-tossing kitchen.

Reservations encouraged. $$ FB TO L R D Tu-Su The HASH HOUSE, 610 Third St. S., 422-0644, thelovingcuphashhouse.com. Locally sourced, locally roasted coffees, gluten-free, vegan, vegetarian; no GMOs/hormones. $ K TO B R L Daily LARRY’S Subs, 657 Third St. N., 247-9620. F SEE O. PARK. MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 1018 Third St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600, mellowmushroom.com. F Bite Club. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Hoagies, gourmet pizzas: Mighty Meaty, vegetarian, Kosmic Karma. 35 tap beers. Nonstop HH. $ FB K TO L D Daily METRO Diner, 1534 3rd St. N., 853-6817. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE SAN MARCO. M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-2599, shackburgers.com.

Burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes. Dine in/out. $$ BW L D Daily NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 1585 Third St. N., 458-1390. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE MANDARIN. PARSONS SEAFOOD RESTAURANT, 1451 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 595-5789, parsonsseafoodrestaurant.com. The landmark place moved; still serving local seafood dishes, sides, specialty fare. $$ FB K TO L D Tu-Su POE’S TAVERN, 363 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7637, poestaverncom. Gastropub, 50+ beers, burgers, fish tacos, Edgar’s Drunken Chili, daily fish sandwich special. $$ FB K L D Daily RAGTIME TAVERN SEAFOOD & GRILL, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F 30+ years, iconic seafood place. Blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily HH, brunch Sun. $$ FB L D Daily SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 1018 Third St. N., 372-4456, saltlifefoodshack.com. Specialty items, tuna poke bowl, fresh sushi, Ensenada tacos, local fried shrimp. $$ FB K TO L D Daily SLIDERS SEAFOOD GRILLE & OYSTER BAR, 218 First St., NB, 246-0881, slidersseafoodgrille.com. Beach-casual

CHEFFED-UP CHEFFED-UP

GRILL ME!

MINES CASANDRA ROMINES

GRILL ME!

Spliff’s Gastropub

15 N. Ocean St. • Downtown

the Biz: SixBorn yearsin: Jacksonville Years in the Biz: Six years ncy Fave Restaurant: Fuji Sushi at Regency Fave Cuisine Style: Japanese Go-To Ingredients: Salt with French Ideal fries Meal: Barbecue baby back ribs with French fries Will Not Cross My Lips: Beer don't tip herInsider's servers! Secret: Chef knows if you don't tip her servers!

Jason Hunnicutt Celebrity Sighting (at your restaurant): Jason Hunnicutt Taste Treat: Chocolate cake

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THE Baymeadows Ste. 9, spot.WELL Faves:WATERING Fresh fish HOLE, tacos, 3928 gumbo.

Key lime pie,Rd., ice cream 737-7740, thewellwateringhole.com.

LocalDcraft beers, glass/ sandwiches.

Brunch Sun. $$ FB K L Sa/Su; Nightly 241-6996, bottle wines. Meatloaf sandwich, pulledPenman PeruvianRd., chicken, vegan SURFWICHES Sandwich Shop, 1537 sandwich steak surfwiches.com. black bean burgers.Craft $$ BW K TO L shop.

M-F; DYankee-style Tu-Sa sandwiches, hoagies, all made toRd., order. $ BW K L D Daily TEQUILAS, 10915 Baymeadows Ste. 101,TO363-1365, THIS CHICK’S KITCHEN, 353 Sixth Ave. S., 778-5404, tequilasjacksonville.com.

New Mexican place has casa-style thischickskitchen.com.

Farm-to-table restaurant serving dishes made with fresh, spicy hot ingredients.

Vegetarian option. healthful,tequilas, locally sourced clean meals. vegan, Top-shelf drink specials. $$ FBGluten-free, K TO L D Daily vegetarianJAX, options. $$Baymeadows TO L D W-Sa Rd., Ste. 135, 634-7208, WHISKEY 10915 V PIZZA, 528 FirstGastropub.

St. N., 853-6633, vpizza.com.

Traditional whiskeyjax.com.

Craft beers, gourmet burgers, Neapolitanastreet artisan from Naples plates, – Italy, whiskey. not Florida, handhelds, farepizza tacos, signature HH.made $$ with ingredients.

FB L Dfresh F-Su; D Nightly $$ FB TO L D Daily

BEACHES CAMDEN COUNTY, GEORGIA

(Venues CAPTAINare STAN’S in JaxSMOKEHOUSE, Beach unless otherwise 700 Bedellnoted.)

Dr., Woodbine, AL’S 912-729-9552 PIZZA, 303AllAtlantic kinds ofBlvd., barbecue, Atlantic sides, Beach, hot dogs, 249-0002, burgers, alspizza.com. desserts. Dine in For2016 out on Best picnic of tables.

Jax Winner. $$ FB KNY-style TO L & D Tu-Sa gourmet MALSONS pizzas, BBQ,baked 1330 Boone dishes.Ave., 28+ years.

Kingsland, All day 912-882-4355.

HH M-Thu. $This FB Kis TO realL barbecue D Daily – smokers onsite. Burgers, wings, plates, ANGIE’S ribs, sausages, SUBS, 1436 beans.Beach Dine inBlvd., or out.

246-2519. $ K TO L & ANGIE’S D DailyGrom 25+ Subs, SALT.PEPPER.THYME, 204 Third Ave. S., 105241-3663.

N. Lee St.,Fresh Kingsland, ingredients, 912-510-0444, years.

Huge salads, blue-ribbon iced tea.

Grom has saltpepperthyme.net.

Varied American Southern fare.Sun. Dinebrunch, in or no TOLL&DDDaily out.alcohol. $$ BW $K KTOBW L W; Th-S BEACH DINER, 501 Atlantic550 Blvd., AB,St., 249-6500.

SEE AMELIA. STEFFENS RESTAURANT, S. Lee Kingsland, BEACH HUT CAFÉ, 1281 Third St. S., 249-3516.

28+scratchyears.

912-729-5355, steffensrestaurant.com.

Southern Full breakfast menuKall good grits); made menu. $-$$ TOday B, L(darn & D M-Sa; B & Lhot Suplate specials Mon.-Fri. $ K TO B R L Daily DOWNTOWN CRUISERS GRILL, 319 23rd Ave. S., 270-0356, cruisersgrill.

AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 21 W. Church 665-7324.

50 N. com.

2016 Best of Jax Winner.

LocallySt., owned & operated Laura St., Half-pound Ste. 125, 446-3119, 20+ years. burgers, fiakelsdeli.com. sh sandwiches,F bigNYC-style salads, deli. Fresh subs,cheddar sandwiches, burgers,$gyros, award-winning fries, sangria.

BW K wraps, TO L D vegetarian, Daily breakfast, signature dressings.

K TO BBlvd., L M-F EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 992 $Beach 249-3001, THE BANK BAR B Q &F BAKERY, 331 W. Forsyth St., 388-1600, europeanstreet.com.

SEE RIVERSIDE. thebankbbq.com. years’ experience means barbecue done FAMOUS TOASTERY,28311 N. Third St., 372-0712, right. Onsite bakery has specialty TO L & D M-F famoustoastery.com.

Corned beefcakes. hash, $gluten-free pancakes,

spot. Faves: Fresh fish tacos, gumbo. Key lime pie, ice cream sandwiches. Brunch Sun. $$ FB K L Sa/Su; D Nightly SURFWICHES Sandwich Shop, 1537 Penman Rd., 241-6996, surfwiches.com. Craft sandwich shop. Yankee-style steak sandwiches, hoagies, all made to order. $ BW TO K L D Daily THIS CHICK’S KITCHEN, 353 Sixth Ave. S., 778-5404, thischickskitchen.com. Farm-to-table restaurant serving healthful, locally sourced clean meals. Gluten-free, vegan, vegetarian options. $$ TO L D W-Sa V PIZZA, 528 First St. N., 853-6633, vpizza.com. Traditional Neapolitana artisan pizza from Naples – Italy, not Florida, made with fresh ingredients. $$ FB TO L D Daily

CAMDEN COUNTY, GEORGIA

CAPTAIN STAN’S SMOKEHOUSE, 700 Bedell Dr., Woodbine, 912-729-9552 All kinds of barbecue, sides, hot dogs, burgers, desserts. Dine in or out on picnic tables. $$ FB K TO L & D Tu-Sa MALSONS BBQ, 1330 Boone Ave., Kingsland, 912-882-4355.

This is real barbecue – smokers onsite. Burgers, wings, plates, ribs, sausages, beans. Dine in or out. $ K TO L & D Daily SALT.PEPPER.THYME, 105 N. Lee St., Kingsland, 912-510-0444, saltpepperthyme.net. Varied American Southern fare. Dine in or out. $$ BW K TO L W; L & D Th-S STEFFENS RESTAURANT, 550 S. Lee St., Kingsland, 912-729-5355, steffensrestaurant.com. Southern scratchmade menu. $-$$ K TO B, L & D M-Sa; B & L Su

DOWNTOWN

AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 21 W. Church St., 665-7324. 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 125, 446-3119, akelsdeli.com. F NYC-style deli. Fresh subs, sandwiches, burgers, gyros, wraps, vegetarian, breakfast, signature dressings. $ K TO B L M-F THE BANK BAR B Q & BAKERY, 331 W. Forsyth St., 388-1600, thebankbbq.com. 28 years’ experience means barbecue done right. Onsite bakery has specialty cakes. $ TO L & D M-F

JANUARY 25-31, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23

DINING DIRECTORY PINT-SIZED Beer & Hymns brings God to the people …

AT THE BAR

BELLY-UP

TO THE CHURCH? RECENTLY THERE WAS A CLASH AT CITY HALL between breweries that wanted zoning variances to operate in the Springfield National Historic District and a small group of vocal churchgoers. In the end, everything worked out, but the situation brought an interesting dynamic into focus: Can religion and craft beer coexist? If you ask Bill Barkoskie, yes, they can.

On a recent evening, Barkoskie and his partners Chad Deetz and Cody and Emily Rollins were at Veterans United Craft Brewery. Barkoskie handed out self-copied booklets while Deetz and the Rollins set up amps and microphones. At 7:30 p.m., the microphones came to life as the group welcomed all present to an evening of Beer & Hymns, a singalong featuring ice-cold brews and religious tunes.

“We view this as what we call ‘Fresh Ministries,’” said Barkoskie. “It’s finding the intersection between church and people. It’s about bringing church outside of four walls and to the people.”

The group faced a dilemma; they weren’t sure how to encourage deeper thought and communication. They wanted an answer to the question, “How can we be the church?”

Barkoskie, a former employee of Veterans United, began to look for ways to bring a ministry to the brewery. He and his pastor at Mandarin United Methodist Church brainstormed, but it was only after Barkoskie attended a Beer & Hymns night at the beer-centric establishment Silver Cow, which recently moved to Murray Hill, that he got the idea to host a similar night at the brewery.

The first Beer & Hymns was held at Veterans United in April 2016. In the beginning, perhaps six or seven people would attend, most of them from Barkoskie’s church.

“No matter the size of the crowd,” Barkoskie said, “it creates a natural, new way of creating relationships. Breweries and churches have remarkably similar goals. They both want to create a social atmosphere.”

As time went on, a larger, more diverse group began attending.

“As we go on,” Barkoskie said, “we see folks who come and use this as their church. We bring the church to them rather than trying to draw them to a church.”

There are no sermons at Beer & Hymns, no proselytizing. It’s just about having a few beers and singing hymns with friends.

“Church can take all sorts of forms,” said Barkoskie. “Our goal with Beer & Hymns at Veterans is to give a demonstration of what it means to be part of a church.”

Barkoskie and his friends may be on to something. Biblical scholars believe that the word “church” is a mistranslation of a Greek word, ekklesia (ekklayseeah), which breaks down into two Greek words, ek, meaning “out of or from,” and klayseeah, meaning “the called.” If true, “church” literally means “those who are called.”

Whether those who attend Beer & Hymns are truly called by a higher power is an argument better left for greater biblical scholars than I. But it is certain that they have a good time singing songs of praise to the Lord while sipping a cold brew – quite a pleasant way to pass an evening.

PINT-SIZED

LOCAL BEER & HYMNS: BOLD CITY BREWERY, 7:30 p.m. on the first Thursday of the month; boldcitybrewery.com.

VETERANS UNITED CRAFT BREWERY, 7:30 p.m. on the second Thursday of the month; vubrew.com.

Marc Wisdom marc@folioweekly.com 24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 25-31, 2017

CANDY APPLE CAFÉ & COCKTAILS, 400 N. Hogan, 353-9717, thecandyapplecafeandcocktails.com. Chefdriven Southern/French cuisine, sandwiches, entrées. $$ FB K L Daily; D Tu-Sa CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth St., 356-8282, casadoraitalian.com.

F Chef Sam Hamidi serves Italian fare, 40+ years: veal, seafood, pizza. Homemade salad dressing. $ BW K L M-F; D M-Sa FIONN MACCOOL’S IRISH PUB & RESTAURANT, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1547, fionnmacs.com. Casual dining, uptown Irish atmosphere; fish & chips, Guinness lamb stew, black-andtan brownies. $$ FB K L D Daily INDOCHINE, 21 E. Adams St., Ste. 200, 598-5303, indochinejax.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Thai, Southeast Asian cuisine. Signature dishes: chicken Satay, soft shell crab; mango, sticky rice dessert. $$ FB TO L D M-F; D Tu-Sa LANNA THAI SUSHI, Jax Landing, Ste. 222, 425-2702, lannathaijax.com. Fresh herbs, spices, sushi, shrimp, specials.

HH. $$ FB K TO L M-F; D Nightly OLIO MARKET, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com. F Scratch soups, sandwiches. Duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L M-F; D F & Sa URBAN GRIND COFFEE COMPANY, 45 W. Bay, Ste. 102, 866-395-3954, 516-7799, urbangrind.coffee. Locally roasted whole bean brewed coffees, espressos, pastries, smoothies, bagels. Chicken/tuna salad, sandwiches. WiFi. $ B L M-F. URBAN GRIND EXPRESS, 50 W. Laura, 516-7799. SEE ABOVE. ZODIAC BAR & GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283, thezodiacbarandgrill.com. 16+ years. Mediterranean cuisine, American fare, paninis, vegetarian dishes. Daily lunch buffet.

Espressos, hookahs. HH M-F $ FB L M-F; D W-Sa

FLEMING ISLAND

DICK’S WINGS, 1803 East-West Parkway, 375-2559. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 1915 East-West Parkway, 541-0009. F SEE RIVERSIDE. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999. F Bite Club. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES. TAPS Bar & Grill, 1605 C.R. 220, Ste. 145, 278-9421, tapspublic house.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. 50+ premium domestic, import tap beer. Burgers, sandwiches, entrées. $$ FB K L D Daily WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteysfishcamp.com. F Real fish camp. Gator tail, freshwater catfish, daily specials, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar. Come by boat, bike or car. $ FB K TO L Tu-Su; D Nightly

INTRACOASTAL WEST

AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES. DICK’S WINGS, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 32, 223-0115. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. GERMAN SCHNITZEL HAUS, 13475 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 40, 221-9700, germanjax.com. Authentic German/fusion fare: schnitzels, plus bratwurst, stroganoff, käsesspätzle. 13 German beers in bottles, on tap. Bar bites, cocktails. Outdoor BierGarten.

HH Tu-Thur. $$ FB L & D Tu-Su LARRY’S, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980. F SEE O. PARK SURFWICHES SANDWICH SHOP, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 29, 559-5301. SEE BEACHES.

MANDARIN + NW ST. JOHNS

AKEL’S DELI, 12926 Granbay Pkwy. W., 880-2008. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES. BARKING SPIDER PUB, 10092 San Jose Blvd., 260-3102.

Casual laid-back hang. Bar fare: hot dogs, chicken fingers, Philly cheesesteaks, burgers, cheese sticks. HH. $ FB D Nightly BEACH DINER, 11362 San Jose Blvd., 683-0079. SEE AMELIA. CRUISERS GRILL, 5613 San Jose Blvd., 737-2874. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES. DICK’S WINGS, 100 Marketside Ave., 829-8134. 965 S.R. 16, 825-4540. 1610 University Blvd. W., 448-2110. 10391 Old St. Augustine, 880-7087. 2016 Best of Jax Winner.

SEE ORANGE PARK. ENZA’S ITALIAN RESTAURANT, 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 109, 268-4458, enzas.net. Family-owned; Italian cuisine, veal, seafood, specials. $$$ FB K TO D Tu-Su FIRST COAST Deli & Grill, 6082 St. Augustine Rd., 733-7477.

Pancakes, bacon, sandwiches, burgers, wings. $ K TO B L Daily JAX DINER, 5065 St. Augustine Rd.,739-7070. New spot serves local produce, meats, breads, seafood. $ TO B L Daily METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Organic soups, baked items, sandwiches, prepared foods. Juice, smoothie, coffee bar. All-natural beer/ wine. $ BW TO K B L D Daily TAPS BAR & GRILL, 2220 C.R. 210 W., Ste. 314, 819-1554.

2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE FLEMING ISLAND. V PIZZA, 12601 San Jose Blvd., 647-9424. SEE SAN MARCO. WHOLE FOODS MARKET, 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 22, 288-1100, wholefoodsmarket.com. Prepared-food dept. 80+ items, full & selfservice bars: hot, salad, soup, dessert. Pizza, sushi, sandwich stations.

Grapes, Hops & Grinds bar. $$ BW K TO B L D Daily

ORANGE PARK

DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 6055 Youngerman Cir., 778-1101, dickswingsandgrill.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner.

NASCAR-themed restaurant serves 365 varieties of wings, plus half-pound burgers, ribs, salads. $ FB K TO L D Daily THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959, hilltop-club.com.

Southern fine dining. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. Extensive bourbon selection. $$$ FB D Tu-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 165, 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 15, 272-3553. 5733 Roosevelt, 446-9500. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove, 284-7789, larryssubs.com. F Larry’s piles

’em high, serves ’em fast; 36+ years. Hot & cold subs, soups.

Some Larry’s serve breakfast. $ K TO B L D Daily METRO DINER, 2034 Kingsley Ave., 375-8548. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611, roadhouseonline.net. Sandwiches, wings, burgers, quesadillas for 35+ years. 75+ imported beers. $ FB L D Daily THE URBAN BEAN COFFEEHOUSE CAFÉ, 2023 Park Ave., 541-4938, theurbanbeancoffeehouse.com. Locally-owned&-operated. Coffee, espresso, smoothies, teas. Omelets, bagels, paninis, flatbread, hummus, desserts. $$ K TO B L D Daily

PONTE VEDRA BEACH

AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A, 543-1494. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES. BEACH DINER, 880 A1A N., Ste. 2, 273-6545. SEE AMELIA. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 830 A1A N., Ste. 6, 273-3993. F SEE ORANGE PARK. M SHACK NOCATEE, 641 Crosswater Parkway, 395-3575.

SEE BEACHES. METRO DINER, 340 Front St., Ste. 700, 513-8422. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE SAN MARCO. TRASCA & CO. EATERY, 155 Tourside Dr., Ste. 1500, 395-3989, trascaandco.com. Handcrafted Italian-inspired sandwiches, craft beers (many locals), craft coffees. $$ BW TO L R D Daily

RIVERSIDE, 5 PTS + WESTSIDE

13 GYPSIES, 887 Stockton St., 389-0330, 13gypsies.com.

2016 Best of Jax Winner. Authentic Mediterranean cuisine: chorizo, tapas, blackened cod, pork skewers, coconut mango curry chicken. Breads from scratch. $$ BW L D Tu-Sa, R Sa AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., Ste. 201, 388-8384. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES. BLACK SHEEP, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, blacksheep5points. com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. New American, Southern; local source ingredients. Specials, rooftop bar. HH. $$$ FB R Sa & Su; L M-F; D Nightly BREW FIVE POINTS, 1024 Park St., 714-3402, brewfivepoints.com. F Local craft beers, espresso, coffees, wine. Rotating drafts, 75+ can craft beers, tea. Waffles, toasts, desserts, coffees. $$ BW K B L Daily; late nite Tu-Sa BRIXX WOOD FIRED PIZZA, 220 Riverside Ave., 300-3928, brixxpizza.com. Pizzas, pastas, soups. Gluten-free options.

Daily specials, buy-one-get-one pizzas 10 p.m.-close. $$ FB K TO L D Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412, cornertaco.com.

Made-from-scratch “Mexclectic street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free, vegetarian options. $ BW L D Tu-Su CUMMER CAFÉ, Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummer.org. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Light lunch, quick bites, locally roasted coffee, espressobased beverages, homemade soups, sandwiches, gourmet desserts, daily specials. Dine in or in gardens. $ BW K L D Tu; L W-Su DERBY ON PARK, 1068 Park St., 379-3343, derbyonpark.net.

New American cuisine, upscale retro, historic building. Oak Street Toast, shrimp & grits, lobster bites, 10-oz. gourmet burger. Dine inside or out. $$ FB TO Brunch Sa/Su; B, L D Tu-Su EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 2753 Park St., 384-9999. 130+ import beers, 20 on tap. Sandwiches. Outside dining at some EStreets. $ BW K L D Daily FIVE POINTS TAVERN, 1521 Margaret St., 549-5063, fivepointstavern.com. New American cosmopolitan place serves chef-curated dishes in a relaxed environment. $$ FB TO L & D Tu-Su GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. F Juice bar uses certified organic fruits, veggies. Artisanal cheeses, 300 craft, import beers, 50 organic wines, produce, meats, vitamins, herbs, wraps, sides, sandwiches. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS ASIAN Street Fare, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Authentic dishes from mobile stalls: BBQ pork char sui, beef haw fun, Hawkers baos, chow faan, grilled Hawker skewers. $ BW TO L D Daily HOBNOB, 220 Riverside Ave., Ste. 110, 513-4272, hobnobwithus.com. Unity Plaza. Global inspiration, local intention – ahi poke tuna, jumbo lump crab tacos. $$ FB TO R L D Daily IL DESCO, 2665 Park St., 290-6711, ildescojax.com. Authentic Italian cuisine; wood-fired pizzas, pasta, baked Italian dishes, raw bar, spaghetti tacos. Daily HH. $$-$$$ FB K TO L D Daily JOHNNY’S DELI & GRILLE, 474 Riverside Ave., 356-8055. F Casual; made-to-order sandwiches, wraps, breakfast. $ TO B L M-Sa KNEAD BAKESHOP, 1173 Edgewood Ave. S., 634-7617. Locally owned, family-run. Made-from-scratch creations: pastries, artisan breads, savory pies, specialty sandwiches, soups. $ TO B L Tu-Su LARRY’S SUBS, 1509 Margaret, 674-2794. 7895 Normandy, 781-7600. 8102 Blanding, 779-1933. F SEE ORANGE PARK. LITTLE JOE’S Café, 245 Riverside Ave., Ste. 195, 791-3336.

Riverview café. Soups, signature salad dressings. $ TO B L M-F METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., 999-4600. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. M SHACK, 1012 Margaret St., 423-1283. SEE BEACHES. RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Local-centric bar food: boiled peanuts, hummus, chili, cheese plate, pork sliders, nachos, herbivore items. $ D Nightly SOUTHERN ROOTS FILLING STATION, 1275 King St., 513-4726, southernrootsjax.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Fresh vegan fare; local, organic ingredients. Specials, on bread, local greens/ rice, change daily. Sandwiches, coffees, teas. $ Tu-Su SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside Ave., Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushicafejax.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Monster, Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll. Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki.

Inside/patio. $$ BW L D Daily TAMARIND THAI, 1661 Riverside Ave., Ste. 123, 329-3180.

SEE DOWNTOWN.

ST. AUGUSTINE

AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.

CRUISERS GRILL, 3 St. George St., 824-6993. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES. DICK’S WINGS, 4010 U.S. 1 S., 547-2669. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. THE FLORIDIAN, 72 Spanish St., 829-0655, thefloridianstaugcom. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Updated Southern fare; fresh, local ingredients from area farms.

Vegetarian, gluten-free option. Signature fried green tomato bruschetta, blackened fish cornbread stack; grits w/shrimp/fish/ tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D W-M GAS FULL SERVICE Restaurant, 9 Anastasia, Ste. C, 217-0326. Changing menu; fresh, local, homemade. Meatloaf, veggie/traditional burgers, seafood, steaks; seasonal, daily specials, made-from-scratch desserts. $$ BW K TO L D Tu-Sa GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F 33+ years. Varied urban cuisine menu changes twice daily. Signature: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. $$ FB R Su; L D Daily MARDI GRAS SPORTS BAR, 123 San Marco Ave., 347-3288, mardibar.com. Wings, nachos, shrimp, chicken, Phillys, sliders, soft pretzels. $$ FB TO L D Daily MBQUE, 604 Anastasia Blvd., 484-7472. Southern-style.

Milkshakes, kale salad. Housemade rubs, sauces. Platters, ribs, brisket, pork, chicken, sausage. $$ BW K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040. F Bite Club. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES. O’LOUGHLIN PUB, 6975 A1A S., 429-9715. Family-owned-andoperated. Authentic fish & chips, shepherd’s pie, corned beef & cabbage, bangers & mash, duck wings. $$ FB K TO L D Daily SALT LIFE Food Shack, 321 A1A Beach, 217-3256. SEE BEACHES. METRO DINER, 1000 S. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 758-3323. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Serving dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. SHANGHAI NOBBY’S, 10 Anastasia Blvd., 547-2188. Cubanstyle, Philly cheesesteak sandwiches. $$ FB

SAN MARCO + SOUTHBANK

BEACH DINER, 1965 San Marco Blvd., 399-1306. SEE AMELIA. THE BEARDED PIG SOUTHERN BBQ & BEER GARDEN, 1224 Kings Ave., 619-2247, thebeardedpigbbq.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Barbecue joint Southern style: brisket, pork, chicken, sausage, beef; veggie platters. $$ BW K TO Daily BISTRO AIX, 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox.com.

F Mediterranean/French inspired menu changes seasonally.

250+ wines. Wood-fired oven baked, grilled specialties: pizza, pasta, risotto, steaks, seafood. Hand-crafted cocktails, specialty drinks. Dine outside. HH M-F. $$$ FB L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 398-9500.

SEE RIVERSIDE. FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusionsushijax.com. F Upscale; fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu, seafood. $$ K L D Daily INDOCHINE, 1974 San Marco Blvd., 503-7013. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE DOWNTOWN. KITCHEN ON SAN MARCO, 1402 San Marco Blvd., 396-2344, kitchenonsanmarco.com. Gastropub serves local, national craft beers, specialty cocktails. Seasonal menu, with fresh, locally sourced ingredients. $$ FB R Su; L D Daily METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metrodinercom. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Original upscale diner in a historic 1930s-era building. Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, soups. This one serves dinner nightly. $$ B R L D Daily PIZZA PALACE Restaurant & Pizzeria, 1959 San Marco Blvd., 399-8815, pizzapalacejax.com. F Family-owned-&-operated; spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, ravioli, lasagna, parmigiana. Dine outside. HH. $$ BW K TO L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco Blvd., 398-3005, tavernasanmarcocom. Chef Sam Efron’s authentic Italian; tapas, wood-fired pizza. Seasonal local produce, meats. Craft beer (some local), cocktails, award-winning wine. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily V PIZZA, 1406 Hendricks Ave., 527-1511, vpizza.com. True artisan Neapolitana pizzas, fresh ingredients. $$ FB to L D Daily

SOUTHSIDE + TINSELTOWN

ALHAMBRA Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. Open 50 years. Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus. Reservations. $$ FB D Tu-Su The CHATTY CRAB, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138C, 888-0639, chattycrab.com. Chef Dana Pollard’s raw oysters, Nawlins low country boil, po’ boys, 50¢ wing specials. $$ FB K TO L D Daily DICK’S Wings, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., 619-0954. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK EUROPEAN Street Café, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717.

SEE RIVERSIDE. GREEK STREET CAFÉ, 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Ste. 106, 503-0620, greekstreetcafe.com. Fresh, authentic, modern; Greek owners. Gyros, spanakopita, dolmades, falafel, nachos.

Award-winning wines. $$ BW K TO L D M-Sa LARRY’S Subs, 3611 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F SEE ORANGE PARK. MARIANAS GRINDS, 11380 Beach Blvd., Ste. 10, 206-612-6596. Pacific Islander fare, chamorro culture. Soups, stews, fitada, beef oxtail, katden pika; empanadas, lumpia, chicken relaguen, BBQ-style ribs, chicken. $$ TO B L D Tu-Su MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955. F Bite Club. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES. M SHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000. SEE BEACHES. OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr., 900-7730, ovintecom. Italy, Spain, Mediterranean. Small plates, tapas, charcuterie: ceviche fresco, pappardelle bolognese, lobster ravioli. 240-bottle/wines, 75/glass; craft spirits. $$ FB R, Su; D Nightly TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Ct., 854-0426, tavernayamas.com. F Bite Club. Charbroiled kabobs, seafood, desserts. Greek wines, daily HH. Bellydancing. $$ FB K TO L D Daily TOSSGREEN, 4375 Southside, Ste. 12, 619-4356. 4668 Town Crossing Dr., Ste. 105, 686-0234. Salads, burritos, bowls; fruit, veggies, chicken, sirloin, shrimp, tofu. $$ K TO L D Daily

DINING DIRECTORY SPRINGFIELD + NORTHSIDE

ANDY’S GRILL, 1810 W. Beaver St., 354-2821, jaxfarmers market.com. Jax Farmers Market. Local, regional, international produce. Breakfast, sandwiches, snacks, drinks. $ B L D Mon.-Sat. BARZ LIQUORS & FISH CAMP, 9560 Heckscher Dr., 251-3330.

Authentic fish camp, biker-friendly, American-owned. Package store. $ FB L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 12400 Yellow Bluff Rd., 619-9828. 450077 S.R. 200, 879-0993. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE O. PARK.

CHEFFED-UP

HOLA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1001 N. Main St., 356-3100, holamexicanrestaurant.com. F Authentic fajitas, burritos, specials, enchiladas, more. HH; sangria. BW K TO L D M-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 12001 Lem Turner Rd., 764-9999.

SEE ORANGE PARK. MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 15170 Max Leggett Pkwy., 757-8843. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner.

SEE BEACHES.

BESEIGE MY HEART

Classic French BEAN DISH traces its history to war

BITE-SIZED

FRENCH SOUL FOOD IS ONE OF MY MANY love interests. This is not the sophisticated, upscale, exorbitantly priced fine-dining fare we often associate with the French.

Rather, French soul food involves simple technique-driven cuisine created in the French countryside. To me, the cuisine represents the kind of food I wish my grandmother had taught me to make. Alas, my grandmother was neither French nor a good cook. Sad! For those of you not in the know, France possesses two very important things in great quantity: cold weather and great cooks. As you may already be aware, I HATE cold weather; I do, however, LOVE French food.

Today I’m crushing on cassoulet.

Because many of you poor food-lovers may be ignorant of this ridiculously mouth-watering delicacy, I feel obligated to let you in on the secret. Like many epic dishes, cassoulet springs from legendary beginnings. The dish was created in Southwestern France by starving townspeople under siege by a foreign army.

These heroic folks gathered the last of their foodstuffs and slowly simmered all of it in a giant earthenware cauldron. Then, thumbing their noses at the would-be invaders, the townspeople supped like champs.

The way to succeed with this luscious casserole is to use the proper technique (sound familiar?). First, soak the beans: A 24-hour bath will do the trick. Next, rinse the beans thoroughly and add them to a cassolle or any large casserole or Dutch oven. Now add a nice chicken stock and bring to a simmer … a very slow simmer.

It’s now time to add a sachet of herbs and some type of cured pork to flavor the beans as they continue to slowly simmer.

Because you are striving to develop flavor complexity in the final product, a mirepoix (rough-chopped vegetables) should be used as well. I also place this in a sachet, to be removed before serving.

That way, I can have all the flavor of the vegetables without the mushy texture in the final product.

Allow the beans to simmer on very low heat for a couple of hours. In the final hour of cooking, you may begin to add your additional meats. I use duck confit, sausages and chunks of pork butt. To finish, top with breadcrumbs and gratinée.

Here’s a basic bean recipe to get your cassoulet on its way.

CHEF BILL’S CASSOULET BASE

Ingredients: • 1 Package deli white beans, • soaked overnight • 1/2 Deli mirepoix with garlic and herbs • in a sachet • 1/2 Deli mirepoix cut in brunoise • 3 Oz. pancetta in one piece • 1/2-Cup chopped herbs • Chicken stock to cover by 2” • Salt and pepper to taste Directions: 1. Drain and rinse the beans. Place in a pot 1. and cover with chicken stock, 2” over.

2. Add the pancetta and sachet. Bring to a 1. boil and reduce to a simmer. Simmer 1. for about two hours, stirring 1. occasionally to prevent sticking.

3. Beans are finished when tender all the 1. way through.

4. Sauté the brunoise, stir into the beans 1. along with salt and pepper and 1. chopped herbs. Keep warm.

Until we cook again,

Chef Bill Thompson cheffedup@folioweekly.com ____________________________________ Contact Chef Bill Thompson, owner of Amelia Island Culinary Academy in Fernandina Beach, at cheffedup@folioweekly.com to find inspiration and get you Cheffed Up! JANUARY 25-31, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25

PETS LOOKIN’ FOR LOVE FOLIO

W E E K LY

FOLIO LIVING

PET

LOVERS’

GUIDE

DEAR DAVI

PETS LIKE ME:

BEAR Davi begins a special project to track the SECRET LIVES of local pets

Behind every good human is an awesome pet waiting to share a story.

Meet Bear: I met Bear while walking Downtown.

He’s a super-sized shepherd mix — obviously larger than my short stature, so I barked, as per usual, and he just stood there, calm and cool, like he does. Then we sniffed, and now we’re friends. Walking together, we look like a valley and its mountain.

In Bear’s Words: Sitting behind bars was not part of my plan.

I always dreamed of a cozy home and long car rides. Suddenly I had both — until my family decided I was too big. Too big? I never thought size mattered, but I guess it does — to some people. I was confused at first, but I knew I was far too handsome to stay in the shelter for long.

Then it came — the best day ever!

Another car ride took me to a different place, and this time I knew it was fur real.

My life is now complete, with a mom who gives me baths, and a sister who snuggles (but mostly bites my face) and potty walks whenever I need to go.

It’s easy being me. On good days, I loaf around the house and lick the floor. On better days, I go on adventures with friends and lie in the leaves in the park. I’m happy just being a dog, but what I really want to be is a taste-testing champion!

I can see me now: hosting a tasting show, exploring the world through flavors, like shoes and trees and even rocks — but not plastic bags. The terror is real. When I hear that crinkly noise, I tuck my butt and run for the hills. Gets me every time.

Nothing else really bothers me, though.

Not squirrels, nor lizards, nor even

squeakers in my toys. I usually gnaw off the butts before I reach the squeaker anyway.

I’m told that’s frowned upon.

From time to time, I think about the other family — the one who took me back to the shelter. But I’m happy now. Life really does begin after the shelter. I get kisses daily, and I’m even allowed on furniture, especially the couch.

What more could I ask for? Well, maybe some carrots.

Each year, 8 to 12 million animals are euthanized because there aren’t enough homes for them. When you adopt a pet from a shelter or rescue group, you’re saving two lives. You’re giving a home to one pet, and you may save the life of another by making room in the shelter.

The best thing about adopting a pet from an animal shelter or rescue group? There are so many amazing pets in all shapes, sizes and, of course, personalities. If animals could speak out loud, they’d agree.

For details on pet adoption, go to jaxhumane.org.

Here’s to new homes for all!

Davi mail@folioweekly.com ____________________________________ If Davi had his way, there’d be a loving home for every pet in the world — even cats.

PET TIP: RUFF LIFE GETTING YOU DO DOWN? DEALING WITH LIFE’S EVERYDAY STRESSORS CAN really put a strain on emotional stability. Between bosses with a diva complex and a significant other who constantly carps, it can be hard to find joy at the end of the day. But lucky for us, there’s a fix to our seemingly miserable lives – adopt a pet.

Studies show being with pets is great for stress relief, not only lowering blood pressure but reducing production of hormones such as cortisol, which is linked with depression and anxiety. Adopt a pet (or two!) featured here and get all tails wagging again.

26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 25-31, 2017

PET EVENTS PIN UP PAWS FUNDRAISER • St. Augustine Humane Society holds its annual fundraiser honoring 2017’s pet calendar winners, with music, cocktails, dinner, auction, wine pull and photo booth, 6-9 p.m. Jan. 26 at Mark Lance Armory, 190 San Marco Ave., $50 advance; $60 door, 829-2737; pupparty.org.

ADOPTABLES

LAYLA

LAYIN’ WITH LAYLA • Don’t want to get up for work in the morning? Good, because I don’t want you to! We can stay in bed and snuggle the day away. I promise I won’t judge your footie pajamas. Set your eyes on me at 8464 Beach Blvd., Southside. JHS is open seven days a week.

KATZ 4 KEEPS ADOPTION DAYS • Adoptions 11 a.m.3 p.m. Jan. 28 and 29 at 935B A1A N., Ponte Vedra, 834-3223, katz4keeps.org.

AKC PALS & PAWS AGILITY TRIALS • 8 a.m.-3 p.m. Feb. 3; till 4 p.m. Feb. 4; till 3 p.m. Feb. 5 at Jacksonville Equestrian Center, 13611 Normandy Blvd., 255-4254, palsandpawsagility.com. Spectator admission and parking free.

CHARIOTS OF FUR BEACH RUN & FESTIVAL • The annual fundraiser, with a 5K walk/run and 1-mile Fun Run, for folks with or without dogs, starts 10 a.m.

Feb. 4 at SeaWalk Pavilion, Jax Beach. Dogs must be leashed. There’s DOGA (yoga with dogs), live music, contests, food trucks, adoption dogs, kids’ stuff, a raffle, prizes and a silent auction. Proceeds benefit St. Francis Animal Hospital’s medical care for less-fortunate family pets. 674-7223, saintfrancisanimalhospital.org.

ADOPTABLES

JENNY

JENNY FROM THE BLOCK • Bring me from a little to a lot this year and I won’t let you down! If you’re searching for a pup to keep you happy, look no further, I’m the one. We can play fetch all day and pig out on treats together. Find out more about me at jaxhumane.org/adopt.

PET ADOPTION • More than 60 cats and kittens and 40-plus dogs and puppies need homes; Wags & Whiskers Pet Rescue, 1967 Old Moultrie Rd., St. Augustine, 797-1913, 797-6039, petrescue.org. All are spayed/neutered and up-to-date on shots.

ANCIENT CITY CAT CLUB SHOW • More than 150 cats, kittens and pets, plus vendors, food, raffles and a pirate invasion, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Feb. 25 and 26 at Solomon Calhoun Community Center, 1300 Duval St., St. Augustine, 829-0381. Admission $6 adults; $4 seniors; $3 students with I.D. & kids over 6; younger kids free.

TAILS PANCAKE BREAKFAST • TAILS (Teaching Animals & Inmates Life Skills) holds a pancake breakfast – pancakes, sausage, scrambled eggs, beverage – 8-10 a.m. Feb. 25 at Applebee’s, 14560 Old St. Augustine Rd., Mandarin, 262-7605; $10.

Proceeds benefit animal rescue and development of inmate social skills. ________________________________________ To list an event, send the name, time, date, location (complete street address, city), admission price, contact number/website to print, to mdryden@folioweekly.com – at least two weeks ahead.

JANUARY 25-31, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27

FREEWILL ASTROLOGY

DALE RATERMANN’s Crossword presented by

CASEY AFFLECK, J.D. ROCKEFELLER, WILD CABBAGE & LUXEMBOURG

Serving Excellence Since 1928 Member American Gem Society

San Marco

Ponte Vedra

Avondale

2044 San Marco Blvd.

The Shoppes of Ponte Vedra

330 A1A North

3617 St. Johns Ave.

398-9741

280-1202

388-5406

FOLIO WEEKLY CROSSWORD 1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

14

15

16

17

18

19

20 23

21

27

13

26

28

29

32

30

31

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34

35

36

37

41 43 47

12

22

25

24

11

44

45

40

46

49 53

50

51

52

56

57

58

61

62

63

64

65

66

1 Detroit-based brewer 6 E tailers?

10 Stable sound 14 Least favorite pet 15 “I smell !”

16 High water alternative 17 Rockies resort 18 Atlantic catches 19 Where the buoys are 20 CURRENT IMAGE 23 151 in old Rome 25 French king 26 Start of a Stein line 27 FUTURE IMAGE 32 Mountaineer’s tool 33 bestbet stake 34 Yield, as land 35 Have a fling 37 T-Ray’s handout 41 Jax Zoo snakes 42 Apples and pears 43 REVERSE IMAGE 47 Take third, maybe 49 Lingus 50 Bygone Ford 51 DENOMINATION

39

42

48

ACROSS

38

54

56 Clothes woes 57 Broadway’s “Auntie” 58 Stein Mart bigwigs 61 Arctic Blast brand 62 Kilted kin 63 Magazine started

by John Johnson in 1945 64 1-Down service 65 Isn’t incorrect 66 Car’s scars

DOWN

1 Janet Lynne Salon, e.g.

2 Some Jags pass catchers 3 Working again 4 Al’s Pizza cooker 5 Rolling Stone: “Greatest guitarist of all time” 6 Accept reality 7 Add inches 8 Trek to Mecca 9“ boy!”

10 Yoga power point 11 Chalk talk 12 Bread spreads 13 JIA craft

28 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 25-31, 2017

55

21 22 23 24 28 29 30 31 35 36 37 38 39 40

59

41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 52

Fish dish Got here In vogue Teddy trim Singer Carly Jepsen Ankle bones Tres menos dos “Incidentally,” online Tugboat service “Not a chance!”

Holstein’s hello Mayonnaise, e.g.

Home tweet home Coggin car category

53 54 55 59 60

60

Dojo award Put into words Indian shelter Fairy-tale sib Show-biz skill Sniggler’s prey Sunset Once again ’70s classic hit that begins “Young man…”

St. Petersburg museum subject Mideast nation Local yokel Explosive letters GPS part (Abbr.)

Solution to 1.18.17 Puzzle O F M A N

A L E R O

H A G E N

E R R S

S O U P

L A D E

P A L E

O T I S

R O B S

U U N P C S A S F L A E A R P L R S O E A K S R A S P E L L Y A E N

P R I S M

T O T E M

A S F L L O C T R L C

A R I E L

O M P U E E R B S A B L B I M A U G T S A A U L F L I S N D G O O T

A L T A T U R N P C O T Y D S E T T E N C O V E H T E R O R D S A T T S L I E R A F A T D F L A S S S S

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Westward Ho! is the name of a village in southwestern England. Its name is impressive because of the exclamation point. But it’s not as dramatic as that of the only town on Earth with two exclamation points: Saint-Louis-duHa! Ha!, in Quebec. Be equally daring. According to my astrological omen-reading, you have a cosmic mandate and poetic license to cram extra !!!!s into your writing and speaking, and add them to your name! This should be one of the most exciting, ebullient phases of your cycle, to show how enthusiastic and energetic you are!

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The New York Film Critics Circle named Casey Affleck the Best Actor of the year for his role in Manchester by the Sea. In his acceptance speech at the ceremony, Affleck gave a dramatic reading of quotes by David Edelstein, a prominent critic who’s criticized his work. “Mumbly and mulish,” was one of Edelstein’s jabs at Affleck. “Doesn’t have a lot of variety,” was another. A third: “Whenever I see Affleck’s name in a movie’s credits, you can expect a standard, genre B picture — slowed down and tarted up.” In the coming weeks, you may get a vindication like Affleck’s. Have wicked fun with it, as he did.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The roulette wheels at casinos in Monaco have 37 pockets: 18 are black, 18 are red, and one is green. On any particular spin, the ball has just less than half a chance of landing in a red or black pocket. One night back in August 1913, at Casino de Monte-Carlo, probability seemed inoperative. The little white ball kept landing on the black over and over again. Gamblers responded by increasingly placing heavy bets on red numbers.

They assumed the weird luck would soon change.

But it took 27 spins. (The odds of that happening were 136,823,184 to 1.) What does this have to do with you? You’re in a similar situation — the equivalent of about 20 spins into an improbable streak. Don’t bet on the red yet.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Born to a religious mother on July 8, 1839, John D. Rockefeller amassed a fortune in the oil industry. Even compared to modern billionaires like Bill Gates and Warren Buffet, he’s the richest American who ever lived. “God gave me the money,” he said on several occasions. I’m borrowing the spirit of Rockefeller’s motto for you. It’s likely you’ll be the recipient of blessings that prompt you to wonder if the Divine Wow is involved. One of these may be financial in nature. Such boons are more likely to transpire if you’re anchored in sweet, dark wisdom and holy, playful creativity.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): What influence do you need most in your life now? Are you suffering because you lack a particular kind of help or teaching? Would you benefit from having a certain connection you’ve not yet figured out how to make? Is there a person or event to heal you if you had a better understanding how you need to be healed? The weeks ahead are a favorable time to get useful answers to these questions — then take action based on what you find.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The next two weeks are a good time to kiss the feet of helpful allies, but not the butts of clever manipulators. Perform acts of generosity for those who’ll use your gifts intelligently, but not those who’ll waste your blessings or treat you like a doormat. My third point: Consider returning to an old fork in the road where you made a wrong turn, and then make the correct turn this time. If you do, be motivated by bright hope for a different future rather than sludgy remorse for your error.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In the beginning was the wild cabbage. Our ancestors found it had great potential as food, and proceeded to domesticate it. Over the centuries, they used selective breeding to develop many further variations on the original. Kale and kohlrabi were the first to appear. By the 15th century, cauliflower had been created. Broccoli came along 100 years later, then Brussels sprouts. Today, there are at least 20 cultivars whose lineage can be traced to the wild cabbage.

In my astrological opinion, Libras are in a wild cabbage phase of your long-term cycle. In the next few months, do seminal work to generate an abundance of useful derivatives.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In 1733, workers finished building the New Cathedral in Salamanca, Spain. If you go there today, you’ll see two seemingly modern elements on one façade: carvings of a helmeted astronaut and a gargoyle licking an ice cream cone.

These characters were added by craftsmen who did renovations on the cathedral in 1992. This is a metaphor — it’s a favorable time to upgrade and refine an old structure in your life. If you do take advantage of this opening, add modern touches.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In the weeks ahead, you’ll be afforded opportunities to bend the rules in ways to make life simpler, more pleasurable and more successful — or all three. To help you determine if these deviations would have integrity, a few questions: Would bending the rules serve a higher good, not just your selfish desires? Is there an approach to bending the rules that may produce more compassionate results than not bending the rules? Could you actually get away with bending the rules, both in the sense of escaping punishment and in the sense of being loyal to your conscience?

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I don’t necessarily guarantee you’ll acquire paranormal powers in the next few weeks. Not saying you’ll be able to foretell the future, eavesdrop on conversations a half-mile away or transform water into whiskey-flavored coffee. I suspect you’ll at least tap further into a unique personal ability that’s been mostly just potential up until now. Or you may start using a resource that’s been available for a long time.

For best results, imagine the possibility that you possess dormant magic.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): A Londonbased think tank does an annual study to determine which country offers the most freedom. The Legatum Institute measures indicators like civil liberties, social tolerance and the power to choose one’s destiny. The current champion is Luxembourg. Canada’s second. France is 22nd, America is 26th, and Italy 27th. I hope you’ll markedly enhance your personal freedom — consider moving to Luxembourg. If that’s not an option, what else could you do? The time is ripe to hatch liberation plans.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I love to see dumpsters that have been decorated by graffiti artists. Right now there’s one by the side of a busy road I often drive. Its drab gray exterior has been transformed into a splash of cartoon images and scripts. Amid signatures that look like “Riot Goof,” “Breakfast Toys” and “Sky Blooms,” I discern a ninja rhinoceros, a goldcrowned jaguar and an army of flying monkeys using squirt guns to douse a forest fire. It’s a perfect time to be inspired by this spectacle. What dumpster-like situation could you beautify?

Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

NEWS OF THE WEIRD THOSE GULLIBLE JACKSONVILLIANS

An unnamed pregnant woman convinced a reporter from Jacksonville station WFOX-TV in December that the “positive” urine tests she was advertising on Craigslist were accurate and that she was putting herself through school by supplying them (making about $200 a day). The seller claimed “many” pregnant women market their urine for tests — even though the main use of the test seems to be “negotiation” with boyfriends or husbands.

POST-TRUTH SOCIETY

In January, the U.S. Court of Appeals finally pulled the plug on Orange County, California, social workers who’d been arguing in court for 16 years that they weren’t guilty of lying under oath because, after all, they didn’t understand that lying under oath in court is wrong. The social workers had been sued for improperly removing children from homes and defended their actions by inventing “witnesses” to submit made-up testimony. Their lawyers had been arguing that the social workers’ “due process” rights were violated in the lawsuit because in no previous case on record did a judge ever have occasion to explicitly spell out that creating fictional witness statements is not permitted.

THE WAY THE WORLD WORKS

Former elementary school teacher Maria Caya, who was allowed to resign quietly in 2013 from her Janesville, Wisconsin, school after arriving drunk on a student field trip, actually made money on the incident. In November 2016, the city agreed to pay a $75,000 settlement — because the police revealed her blood-alcohol level to the press in 2013 (allegedly, “private” medical information). The lawsuit against the cops made no mention of Caya’s having been drunk or passed out, but only that she had “become ill.”

NO WAY TO ROCK THE BABY

John Bubar, 50, was arrested in Parsonsfield, Maine, in November after repeatedly lifting his son’s mobile home with his front-end loader and dropping it. The father and son had been quarreling over rent payments and debris in the yard. Dad finally eased up after realizing his grandson was still inside the home.

IT’S GREAT. TO BE. A FLORIDA GATOR!

The Florida Fish & Wildlife Conservation Commission reversed itself in December and allowed Mary Thorn of Lakeland to keep her 6-foot-long pet alligator (“Rambo”) at home despite a regulation requiring that a gator of that size needs a more spacious roaming area. Thorn and Rambo have been together for over a decade.

NOT THE SAME THING, CREEP

“I’m [as] tired of hearing the word ‘creep’ as any black person or gay person is of hearing certain words,” wrote Lucas Werner, 37, on his Facebook page in December after he was banned from a Starbucks in Spokane, Washington, for writing a polite dating request to a teenaged barista. Managers thought Werner was harassing the female, who is at least the age of consent, but Werner charged illegal “age discrimination” and made a “science” claim that “age gap love” makes healthier babies.

SO HOW DOES A CAR WARM UP?

Taylor Trupiano grudgingly paid his $128 “traffic” fine in December, issued by a Roseville, Michigan, officer who caught his car warming up unattended — in his own driveway. Police routinely issue such tickets (five to 10 each winter, based on a town ordinance) to send drivers like Trupiano a message that unattended cars are ripe for theft, which burdens Roseville’s police department.

A police spokesman said the driverless warmups are illegal even for locked cars.

CAN I HAS A CAT SNUGGLE?

Jasper Fiorenza, 24, was arrested in St. Petersburg, in November and charged with breaking into a home in the middle of the night. The female resident said she awoke to see Fiorenza and screamed, but the man still delayed his getaway so he could pet the woman’s cat lounging on her bed.

THAT’S ONE BAD MINTON

Badminton player Mads Pieler Kolding, in a January match in India’s Premier Badminton League, returned a volley at a world’s record for a shuttlecock — 265 mph.

Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net

Folio Weekly can help you connect with that surfer hunk you almost talked to at the Young Vegan Professionals meet-up, or that gum-crackin’ goddess at Target who “accidentally” dropped a jasmine-scented kazoo in your cart. Go to folioweekly.com/i-saw-u.html, fill out the FREE form correctly (40 words or fewer, dammit) by 5 p.m. Friday (for the next Wednesday’s FW) – next stop: Bliss!

No left or right swipe here – you can actually use REAL WORDS to find REAL LOVE!

It’s a New Year! Let’s be real: You’ll never hit the gym. Instead, do this easy exercise to ind a true love, not just some ’roided-out spotter.

One: Write a ive-word headline so they’ll recognize you, or them, or the place.

Two: Describe the person, like, “You: Blonde, hot, skanky, tall.”

Three: Describe yourself, like, “Me: Redhead, boring, clean, virgin.”

Four: Describe the moment, like, “ISU sweating at Winston Family YMCA.” Five: Meet, fall in love, reserve a church*. No names, emails, websites, etc. And fer chrissake, it’s forty (40) words or fewer. Bulk up your love life with Folio Weekly ISUs! M SHACK RIVERSIDE COOK ISU every day at work; you’re a cook, I’m a waitress. You’re so hot but I don’t have the courage to tell you. Single? If so, please reply.

Love to chat sometime. Signed, Too Nervous.

When: Every day. Where: Riverside. #1640-0111 I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU You: I knew you before you were born. Me: God I am here for you always, just call on me. I died for you, so live for me and find the peace you seek. When: Jan. 1, 2017. Where: Everywhere. #1639-0111 WE SAVED A TURTLE Day after Christmas. We were trying to save a turtle on Baymeadows in front of SunTrust. My dad and I drove you and turtle to pond. Wished I got more than just your name. When: Dec. 26. Where:

By SunTrust Bank, Baymeadows Rd. #1638-0104 ZOO CAROUSEL DADDY On carousel with my son. ISU behind me with your son. You: Male, tall, blondish, beautiful blue eyes.

Me: Female, busty brunette. Should’ve talked on the ride; my kid was screaming. Wanna play date? When: Dec. 21. Where: Jax Zoo Carousel. #1637-0104 ENGLISH MUFFIN HELLO, COOL MOOSE U: Carmine’s shirt, prettiest art admirer ever. Me: Tattooed brow, food maker. Made your hello with a smiley-face flag. Art is an experience we can enjoy together. When: Dec. 7. Where: Cool Moose Café Riverside. #1636-1214 DAYCARE DAD ISU when I drop off my daughter. You drop off your little one. Coffee? You: Tallish, tattoos, work boots you take off before entering baby room, absolutely adorable; single? Me: Red hair, always hoping I see you. When: Almost every day. Where: Kids World Academy. #1635-1214 CROSSWORD QT You had orange socks and an orange Element.

You got a cappuccino (or two) and started with a crossword. Your laptop had an Equality sticker on it … either you really like math, or we should meet. Maybe both. When: Nov. 29. Where: Bold Bean, Riverside. #1634-1207 CARMELO’S SILVER FOX You: Tall, handsome, older gentleman with an exceptional British accent! Me: Tall brunette who visits frequently. You’re flirty, but let’s make it official! Tea time? When: Nov. 11. Where: Carmelo’s Pizzeria, St. Augustine. #1633-1207 MY HOT, SEXY NEIGHBOR You: Tall, white sports jersey (No. 12, I think), flag tattoo. Me: Brunette, sunglasses, busty. While checking mail ISU on balcony playing darts, smoking cigar. Welcome to the neighborhood.

Throw your dart at me anytime. When: Oct. 25.

Where: Coquina Bay Apartments. #1632-1026 A YEAR AGO, OCEANWAY PUBLIX Wednesday afternoon before Thanksgiving. Talked

in checkout line. Me: Kinda muscular, blue Never Quit shirt. Please forgive my walking away. You: So smokin’ hot I couldn’t believe it; black vehicle. Let me be your somebody! When: Nov. 25, ’15. Where: Oceanway Publix. #1631-1026 CUTE BARTRAM PARK RUNNER We’ve seen each other. You: Dark hair, blue-eyed hottie, running. Me: Dark blonde, ponytail, walking.

Today you said, “Sorry about that.” I smiled, not sure of meaning – sorry about crude car guys.

Points – you’re a gentleman. Single? When: Oct. 17. Where: Bartram Park. #1630-1026 SALMON POLO, RIVERSIDE PUBLIX Going to check-out – bam! ISU. Handsome man. Facial hair. Fit. Smiled, made eye contact.

Thought, “I’ll never see him again.” I pull from lot; you walk in front; noticed your right arm tattoo.

No bags? When: Oct. 3. Where: Riverside Publix. #1629-1012 BRUNETTE BEAUTY WALKING TO BEACH Tall brunette walking her most white with mixed colored medium-sized dog. Snake-design comfortable pants, gorgeous body. Me: Waking up, starting day. You were first thing I saw from inside my house. Let’s walk together! When: Sept. 30.

Where: Davis St., Neptune Beach. #1628-1005 MY BUD LIGHT/MARLBORO MAN You: Handsome man working the grill, drinking Bud Light and cooking some good-looking meat on Saturday. Me: Drinking Captain and Coke and fighting the desire to take advantage of you.

Hoping you “grill” again soon! When: Aug. 27.

Where: Downtown. #1627-0928 NEED HELP MOVING? First time ISU, you were moving from your apartment; we caught eyes. Met again, exchanged names. Wanted your number but it’s been so long since someone made me speechless. Come by sometime? You: Pretty. Me: Intrigued. When: Sept.

14. Where: Off JTB. #1626-0921 FIRST WATCH EARTHQUAKE You: Stunningly beautiful lady, long brown hair, shorts, athletic top, waiting for second party Sunday morning. Me: Tall, dark, handsome guy, kinda cop-looking. Tried to buy your breakfast; you hadn’t ordered. Really wanted to say hello. When: Aug. 28.

Where: First Watch Beach Blvd. #1625-0907 TRADE PORSCHE FOR BEACH CRUISER? Drawn to your physique, adored biceps as you chilled with friend! You complimented my Porsche.

Offered trade for your cruiser. Didn’t ask for number. WOD together on next bring-a-friend day?! When: 4 p.m. June 5. Where: Zeta Brewing bicycle stand. #1616-0622 DANCING TO THE BONES You are L. from Ponte Vedra. I’m R, leading band at Conch House on Friday, Aug. 12. We said quick hello as you left. Really want to connect with you. Hopefully cosmos will agree. When: Aug. 12.

Where: Conch House, St. Augustine. #1624-0817

*or any other appropriate site at which folks can engage in a civil union or marriage or whatever …

JANUARY 25-31, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 29

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30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 25-31, 2017

FOLIO VOICES : BACKPAGE EDITORIAL

A local Green Party member takes issue with FW COVER STORY

GO HOME & GO FORTH: AN EVENING SOHRAB & CLAIRE 26 WITH JaxbyJax Literary Arts • CoRK Arts District JAN

JACKSONVILLE SHORT FILM 26 SHOWCASE AND CONTEST JAN

Sun-Ray Cinema

THE REAL PICTURE

THIS IS IN RESPONSE TO J. SCOTT GAILLARD’S Jan. 11 cover story, “A Progressive Counterrevolution in Northeast Florida,” to inform your readers of the real full picture of this movement.

First, it’s not with the Democratic Party as indicated by this article. The majority of progressive people do not belong to this party; in fact, they are mostly independent, no-party affiliation (NPAs), or third party, such as Green Party, voters. Progressives are actually leaving the Democratic Party as was shown at the Democratic National Convention convention in Philly, which the party tried to silence and hide, with the #DEMEXIT. The sound in the streets outside the convention was filled with “Jill not Hill.”

This is easily checked online by watching YouTube videos.

It was very upsetting that you never talked about the longest-running progressive group here in Jacksonville and their work, the Jacksonville Progressive Coalition.

Nor did you talk of the newest groups, the Green Party here in Duval, as well as the many other GP affiliates popping up all over Florida and the rest of the country since the primary elections.

You overlooked the millennial movement on the University of North Florida campus with their groups of “Students for a Democratic Society” and UNF “Divestment Group.” Also left out was the new Green Peace affiliate here, along with many other non-party progressive groups in our Northeast Florida region, mostly starting

after the primary and not associated with the Democratic Party.

You did talk about the Sabal Trail Resistance protest on Jan. 14. However, if you would have attended, the only Democratic Party leader seen there was Tim Canova, who came from South Florida to support us. None of those Democratic leaders from Duval County you had in your article showed up. But all the groups talked about above had leadership present in support of Sabal Trail Resistance.

My final point on this article is in regard to Lisa King leading the Democratic Party progressively. We progressives, here in the Northeast Florida, see her as the person who organized Hillary Clinton’s campaign and fought against our Bernie Sanders progressive revolution movement. I don’t see progressives getting behind her and/or the party.

I’m not trying to undermine their attempt to change their party, but to recognize the many/majority of progressives who are part of the counterrevolution here.

We are groups that should be working together, not trying to take over and/or run by claiming to be the movement. We would like to see the Democratic leaders in your article come to our meetings and work with us together — as we do by attending their meetings — and a coalition of groups, not a monopoly of one party.

John Debus mail@folioweekly.com ____________________________________ Debus is a member of the Duval County Green Party.

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FEB

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CAMINATRIXX MEET AND GREET! Hard Knocks

31ST HOGGETOWNE MEDIEVAL FAIRE

City of Gainesville - Parks, Recreation & Cultural Affairs

GREENCOVE DRIFT AND MUD GREEN COVE Dragway

CALLING ALL FIRST RESPONDERS! Adamec Harley-Davidson

JANUARY 25-31, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 31