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CONTENTS //
FEBRUARY 18-24, 2015 • VOLUME 28 • NUMBER 47
Bitterness, Attack and Hate
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24 EDITOR’S NOTE GUEST COLUMN FIGHTIN’ WORDS NEWS
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PUBLISHER • Sam Taylor
staylor@folioweekly.com / 904.260.9770 ext. 111
EDITORIAL
EDITOR • Jeffrey C. Billman jbillman@folioweekly.com / ext. 115 SENIOR EDITOR • Marlene Dryden mdryden@folioweekly.com / ext. 131 A&E EDITOR • Daniel A. Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com / ext. 128 WRITERS-AT-LARGE Susan Cooper Eastman sceastman@folioweekly.com Derek Kinner dkinner@folioweekly.com CARTOONIST • Tom Tomorrow CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Rob Brezsny, John E. Citrone, Julie Delegal, AG Gancarski, Dan Hudak, Shelton Hull, MaryAnn Johanson, Abigail Lake, Pat McLeod, Nick McGregor, Cameron Meier, Jeff Meyers, Kara Pound, Scott Renshaw, Chuck Shepherd VIDEOGRAPHERS • Doug Lewis, Ron Perry INTERNS • Jessica Gilpin, Darby Moore
FEATURE COVER STORY OUR PICKS MOVIES
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DESIGN
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Folio Weekly is published every Wednesday throughout Northeast Florida. It contains opinions of contributing writers that are not necessarily the opinion of this publication. Folio Weekly welcomes both editorial and photographic contributions. Calendar information must be received two weeks in advance of event date. Copyright © Folio Publishing, Inc. 2015. All rights reserved. Advertising rates and information are available on request. An advertiser purchases right of publication only. One free issue copy per person. Additional copies and back issues are $1 each at the office or $4 by U.S. mail, based on availability. First Class mail subscriptions are $48 for 13 weeks, $96 for 26 weeks and $189 for 52 weeks. Please recycle Folio Weekly. Folio Weekly is printed on recycled paper using soy-based inks. 27,000 press run. Audited weekly readership 97,085.
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I read your article [Editor’s Note, “The Moral Minority,” Jeffrey C. Billman, Feb. 4]. You make many “assumptions” you don’t even try to back up. Yet you attempt to sway your reader to believe they’re facts. A few examples: • You try to relate Mike Huckabee’s appearance at First Baptist Church directly to his “supposed” run for president. If you know anything about large churches, these appearances don’t happen overnight. They’re in the works for months, sometimes a year or more. You do the math. • You state Huckabee said, “I would suggest to you that we make a huge mistake when we walk away and simply don’t show up and take the stand God wishes us to take.” Then you ever so slyly state, “He was referring most directly to same-sex marriage.” If you’d been there, you’d know that’s not correct. He was referring to the overall attitude of the Christian community of allowing themselves to become apathetic and defeated and the feeling of isolation. Christians need to understand that they’re bombarded by pictures, words, attitudes and people who don’t hold the same beliefs. Christian beliefs are no longer just “their beliefs,” they’re now considered intolerant, phobic and hateful. None of which is true. • I assume your writing style has been honed to bitterness, attack and hate. Your phrases: A) “Mike Huckabee was in town to score the wink-wink quasi-endorsement of the politically powerful First Baptist Church of Jacksonville.” B) “( … quasi only because an actual endorsement might endanger the church’s lucrative tax-exempt status.)” C) “His shtick no longer has agency.” D) “City Council President Clay Yarborough’s temper tantrum over a Museum of Contemporary Art Jacksonville exhibit he deemed pornographic late last year.” E) “Mayor Alvin Brown’s refusal to endorse an expansion of the human rights ordinance for fear of riling the antigay bigots.” I’m not a regular Folio Weekly reader; I found this article on the Internet. I can only assume this is your normal style of writing. However, I would love to see you write an article that is fair and honest. But I guess that’s just not your “shtick.” Farris Vickery
Wooden Weapon
For generations, this archaic public school practice is a tradition of violence in the communities and backward school districts where it still occurs [News, “Beat Your Children Well,” Susan Cooper Eastman, Feb. 4]. We contacted one Nassau County elementary principal last year; he arrogantly gave religious reasons for hitting young people with wooden boards. Personal religious beliefs should have no impact on public learning institutions attended by children from all faiths — and none. This violence, which creates a hostile learning environment for school employees and public school students, isn’t a last option; one only needs to read school handbooks to see kids are hit for trivial infractions. How is hitting a kid ever a solution? Shamefully, it’s done to lower suspension rates and because educators (I use the term loosely; these people could work nowhere else in America and do this without being arrested and incarcerated for assault and battery) are inept to educate without using a wooden weapon. It’s irrelevant who approves (parent/school board) of violence against a child. Each time an adult bully school employee hits any kindergarten child through sexually developed 16-to-18-year-old male or female, another “victim of violence” is made. How much research and evidence are needed to prove this is physically, psychologically and sexually harmful to young human beings before this disgrace of our public schools is finally brought to an end? James McNulty, via folioweekly.com
9456 Philips Highway, Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 Phone: 904.260.9770 • Fax: 904.260.9773
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FEBRUARY 18-24, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 3
EDITOR’S NOTE
GOOD TIMES, BETTER CAUSES
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Say you’re a low-income person living in ere’s a little industry secret: If you rural Clay County, Ganger says, and you have ask people what they think about the only $5 to spend. Are you going to use that news business, what you’ll hear over money for a bus pass to the grocery store a and over is that there’s too much negativity, few miles away, or walk down to the corner too much conflict, not enough “good news.” store where the fruit has long ago rotted but Except that, when TV stations or newspapers the candy and microwavable meals are cheap focus on “good news,” nobody really cares. and plentiful? Ratings and readership drop. Turns out, “People ask me all the time, ‘Bruce, how people rather like the salacious stuff, even if can that fat kid be hungry?’” Ganger says. they don’t care to admit it. “They’re gonna gorge themselves. The child’s But I’m going to do a little good news anyway — or at least, use this space to promote gonna spend as much as they can to satisfy their hunger now.” a couple of causes I believe worthy of your It’s no coincidence that, according to time and attention. The first does indeed come a study released last year, of the 105,000 with something of a sexy backstory, parts of households Feeding Northeast Florida serves which made the Times-Union last September, every year, 37 percent have at least one but I’m not going to get into that here. (Good member with diabetes, and 65 percent have at news, right?) The short version, and the least one member with high blood pressure. important thing for our purposes, is that Sixty percent of those households rely some 25 years ago, a man named Eddie Fink on the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance founded an annual event called Jacksonville Program, or SNAP, the thing we used to FOODFIGHT that brought area restaurants together to raise money to feed the hungry, call food stamps, but the key word in that and it became a smashing success — both acronym is supplemental. For many poor as a fundraiser that brought in north of $1 people, Ganger says, SNAP runs out two million for a local weeks into the food bank and, on month — which its own terms, as means they have BALLOTS & BREWS a night to gorge to turn to food 6 p.m. Wednesday, Feb. 18 at Intuition Ale Works, yourself on some of banks and other 720 King St., Riverside, free if you’re registered the finest culinary programs. to vote or register at the event. offerings around. That’s why, 3SQUARES among myriad Fink isn’t with 6:30 p.m. Thursday, Feb. 26 at Prime Osborn other reasons, you FOODFIGHT any Convention Center’s Grand Lobby, 1000 Water St., should support more, but next Downtown, $70, $100 VIP, 3squaresjax.com Feeding Northeast week, on Feb. Florida and, if you 26, he’s going to can, 3Squares. But launch something there’s also an implicit challenge within both very similar at the Prime Osborn efforts: Eighteen percent of Northeast Florida Convention Center: 3Squares. Like he did children are food insecure. What are we going for FOODFIGHT, he’s bringing in dozens of to do about it? Northeast Florida’s best-regarded restaurants, Here’s another challenge for you: Do you bars and chefs — Orsay, Restaurant Medure, want to make Jacksonville a better and kinder Taverna, Mojo BBQ, bb’s, Black Sheep, Dos and smarter place to live and work and raise Gatos, Matthew’s, just to name a few — to a family? You do? Great. Get off your ass and raise money for a local food bank. vote. Four years ago, fewer than one in five It’s not cheap, at least on a journalist’s salary, but all the food and drinks are donated Duval voters age 40 bothered to show up at the polls for the March unitary election, and and all the proceeds go to Feeding Northeast just one in four did so for the runoff. And so Florida, which serves 17 counties throughout we ended up with a City Council that, among North Florida. If they sell out — Fink says other embarrassments, refused to extend they’ll cap attendance at 1,200 — they’ll raise antidiscrimination protections to gay people. more than $100,000. We can do better, Young Jacksonville. That’s not chump change, and I hope Meredith O’Malley Johnson is out to that all goes as planned. But it also hints at change that. Last month, the by-day-Onea larger, underlying problem that we as a Spark-PR-director launched the Jax Young society need to address, which is that, as Fink Voters Coalition with the goal of improving puts it, “I think people do have a tremendous young turnout, and not just by a little bit. Her misconception of what hunger is.” goals, in fact, are quite ambitious. When we think of the hungry, we often This week — actually, at 6 p.m. the day think of the homeless or the guy on the offthis issue hits the streets, so if you’re reading ramp with his cardboard Will Work For Food sign or maybe famished kids in some far-flung this on Wednesday, act fast — the coalition is African village. But that’s only part of the story. throwing its first big shindig at Intuition Ale Hunger is more complex and nuanced than Works in Riverside. Called Ballots & Brews — and featuring the basically perfect tagline “We that, says Bruce Ganger, the president and all know politics can drive you to drink. So CEO of Feeding Northeast Florida. It’s urban why not?” — it’s a chance to eat and drink and and rural. It’s black and white. It’s young mingle with politicians and activists and, if and old. It’s the unemployed veteran and the you haven’t done so already, to register to vote. working-poor single mother. Elections, as they say, are won by those And the issue isn’t always about access to who show up. Cities, meanwhile, are defined calories, but the kinds of calories people get. by those who win elections. Take control of Food deserts — places where it can be difficult to find or afford nutritious food, your city. which leads to myriad problems down the line Jeffrey C. Billman that we all end up paying for — aren’t just an twitter/jeffreybillman urban-core problem. jbillman@folioweekly.com
GUEST COLUMN
THE CULT OF CARR
Folio Weekly’s former editor remembers the man who gave her her start in journalism, the late David Carr
Editor’s note: David Carr was something of a hero of mine, dating back to the late ’90s when he was editor of the Washington City Paper, before he became nationally known as The New York Times’ media critic. Carr died last week. I never got to meet him, but Carr was a mentor and friend to my predecessor here at Folio Weekly, Anne Schindler, who worked with him at a now-defunct Minnesota alt-weekly called the Twin Cities Reader. She was kind enough to pen this wonderful remembrance of a legend in our field. — Jeffrey C. Billman
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avid Carr loved a good story, and it was part of his natural generosity that he left everyone he came into contact with at least one good story to remember him by. In the 25 years I’ve known Carr, I’ve had the good fortune to cross paths with him in a slew of odd places, and whether getting lost on the streets of Tijuana, waging noodle wars in the lakes of the Adirondacks, or watching Sonic Youth aurally annihilate the 9:30 Club, each left an indelible memory. Carr’s whole life was a caper, and he was ruthlessly candid about not wanting not to miss out. He had to taste everything on the menu, jump into every darkened swimming pool, and yes, “grind himself to the center of the universe” journalistically. Carr gave me my first job in journalism, at the now-defunct altweekly the Twin Cities Reader. He was just shed of his crack addiction and cancer, and new to the job of editor. And he very nearly didn’t take me. After receiving the package of poorly written, sloppily edited college papers that served as my “writing sample,” he asked if I could at least type. I could not. “It’s going to be difficult to explain to anyone in this newsroom why I would hire you,” he confided, “if you can’t even type.” I spent that summer learning to type using a textbook, practicing on a series of postcards that I would send Carr as proof of improvement. Somewhere between “the quick brown fox” and late August, he asked me to come aboard. It was the most determinant event in my professional life: inspiring, humbling, and — more than once — physically menacing. Like when he would line-edit stories and write, “I will physically menace you if you ever again
[insert journalistic trespass].” He made good edits. He made me cry. He made me better. He made everyone better. If there’s one thing that the Cult of Carr — and we are legion — will tell you it’s how inspirational he was. Indeed, his rise from newspaper schmo who got coke nosebleeds during interviews to guru of New York’s media and cultural elite is almost enough to make a skeptic believe in the American dream. A recovery dog at heart, though, Carr never forgot life at rock bottom. Once, walking down St. Catherine Street in Montreal, we were very nearly struck by a human — a drunk being ejected from a strip bar. The man took a few steps and collapsed. His pants were soaked with urine, and the paper bag that held his money fell some distance away. Most people recoiled, but Carr never hesitated. He pulled the man to a seated position, put the paper bag in his fingers, and sat down on the filthy street. When the man began beating his skull against the wall, Carr begged him to stop. “Don’t do that to yourself, please, man,” he pleaded. The man stopped. It’s awful to envision a world where I won’t be able to see David each year — see him wrestle with my boys, swap music with my husband, grill the shit out of summer vegetables on his old-school Weber. I will miss his untidy meals, his sloppy kisses, his cryptic and challenging vocabulary. I will miss him selfishly. And for his beautiful girls — Megan, Erin, Maddie, Jilly. And for all of us lucky enough to be a part of his story. Anne Schindler mail@folioweekly.com
He made good edits. He made me cry. He made me better. He made everyone better.
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FIGHTIN’ WORDS
THE MAYOR AND THE GOLDEN MEAN
Will Bill Bishop’s play for former Alvin Brown supporters upend the March election?
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acksonville City Councilman Bill Bishop’s mayoral campaign is obviously still underway, so it shouldn’t surprise anyone that his opponents are exercising due diligence. Last month, for example, Tim Baker of Data Targeting requested records from the city of Jacksonville pertaining to “all contracts, payments, reimbursement or other monetary expenses paid by the City of Jacksonville or any of its subsidiaries or agents or contractors to Akel Logan Shafer Architects (ALSA) or Melody Bishop” — the councilman’s architect wife, who works at Akel Logan Shafer, where Bill is vice president and principal architect — including payments made to and contracts with Akel Logan Shaker, and contracts related to the “Northbank and Southbank River Walks,” the “Artists Walk” in Riverside, and the Tillie Fowler Memorial. Additionally, the records request sought “Communications from City Councilman Bill Bishop … related to ALSA proposals or contracts.” Data Targeting, a GOP-aligned outfit with ties to the state party that Curry ran until last year, has already been digging in the crates for dirt on potential Republican mayoral candidates, as the deep dive into Mike Hogan’s work in city government last year revealed [The Flog, “What a GOP Firm’s Oppo Research Tells Us About the Jacksonville Mayor’s Race,” AG Gancarski, Dec. 13]. Then last week, Curry’s PAC circulated a mailer proclaiming “Bill Bishop Calls Himself a Conservative But Taxes Like a Liberal,” and highlighting a story in Folio Weekly that called him “by any measure, the most progressive candidate in the race” [Cover Story, “The Insurgent,” Susan Cooper Eastman, Jan. 14]. What is interesting here is, although Bishop, according to every public poll, is no threat to Curry, and on many issues there’s little daylight between Curry and Bishop, Curry and his allies aren’t shrugging him off. Odds are, the targeted data will never be used. There’s a ton of it, and there’s probably little reason to devote finite resources to agitating against Bishop when it’s easier and more costeffective to drop memes (such as reminding voters of Bishop’s role with the Herman Cain campaign, a state campaign co-chair position) and let the activists on the left promulgate them. Jacksonville politics defies neat ideological categories. There’s plenty of evidence, and it was on display the weekend before last at Bishop’s Memorial Park rally in Riverside, an event that had representatives from Bishop’s coalition of supporters; speakers included Wayne Wood, Jesse Wilson, Jim Rinaman, the
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Rev. Juan Gray of the local Southern Christian Leadership Conference chapter — all backers of Mayor Alvin Brown’s 2011 campaign — and the candidate himself. The speakers did their best to gin up enthusiasm among the crowd of dozens. Wood told them, “Everybody I talk to says ‘I’m going to vote for Bill, but I’m not sure he can win,’” and criticized the “corporate tycoons” backing Curry and Brown, who are spending “millions of dollars to chop each other into small pieces.” Former Jax Chamber chair Rinaman attacked the Chamber’s political arm’s Curry endorsement as a rubber stamp that “endorses Republicans approved by the Republican Party hierarchy.” And Juan Gray? He said the First Coast Tea Party Hob Nobbers were more committed to democracy than the current mayor. Brown took a lot of heat at the Bishop rally, but it pales in importance to the heat he took from JAXBIZ, which endorsed Curry in the strongest possible terms — leading the mayor’s campaign to claim that the JAXBIZ endorsement was contingent on a tax hike, something Curry and the Chamber folks denied with a “not just no, but hell no.” Who’s lying? Here’s the truth: It doesn’t matter. Brown’s problem isn’t the non-endorsement, but its framing as a repudiation by the moneyed class, which argues that the problems with the Brown administration’s budgets, the pension negotiations, and even social issues like the human rights ordinance can all be solved with a different man in City Hall. And they’re telling people that man should be Lenny Curry. Democrats disagree, obviously. The subtext to their complaints boils down to “Alvin Brown has governed like a Republican, so why are the Republicans complaining?” Those on the other side, meanwhile, including the cash-money millionaires, say that Brown was an “accidental mayor” who had his shot and didn’t get it done. For all of Brown’s attempts to govern as the golden mean, and for all of his photo-ops with Republicans, the mayor faces two existential challenges as the March election looms. The first: the Bishop campaign hitting him for a lack of ideological purity on social issues and peeling off progressive support. The second: the Curry camp undermining him with the donor class, behind closed doors, under the cover of confidentiality agreements. Even for an incumbent with a record of accomplishment, Brown faces a tough climb to a second term. AG Gancarski twitter/aggancarski mail@folioweekly.com
NEWS
MUCH ADO ABOUT … SOMETHING Jacksonville City Councilwoman E. Denise Lee is very concerned about Hemming Park.
E. Denniisse Leee E.
Wayynne W Wa Woood ood o
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his was probably a bigger crowd than City Councilwoman E. Denise Lee was expecting. Th is was, after all, a hastily convened emergency meeting of her ad hoc Hemming Park Committee, announced a few days earlier for a Thursday afternoon inside the tiny Don Davis Room at Jacksonville City Hall. By a few minutes after two, when Lee walked in carrying a paper bag from Jimmy John’s, every seat was taken, mostly by young, Downtown activist types, many in green shirts under sport coats, a sign of support for Hemming Park in the face of apparent adversity. Chairs were brought in from outside, and Lee encouraged the “gentlemen” to give up their seats for standing ladies. “Good afternoon,” she began. Silence. She held up her hands. The audience took the hint. “Good afternoon,” came the dutiful reply. “That’s better,” Lee said. “We’re family. That’s why we here. We’re family.” Actually, we were there because a few
consider that?” she told Marbut. “That happened way before the agreement.” Fellow committee member Bill Gulliford sounded equally dubious. “I think that’s bogus,” Marbut quoted him as saying. “I don’t know how you count that. The grants aren’t the result of the contract.” FOHP has another fundraising benchmark, $100,000 — and the city has another scheduled contribution — fast approaching, on March 1. None of this sat well with Lee. “We can’t write another check until this is resolved,” she told the Record. Without that money, however, one of the city’s most important Downtown initiatives would be very much imperiled. So FOHP sent out an email blast and packed the room. And Lee immediately tried to set their minds at ease. She called the meeting, she explained, because the media was asking her questions to which she didn’t have clear answers. “I think it needs to be clear to Hemming Park — this is not called to criticize you, but to get some questions answered.” Gulliford, meanwhile, had already had an apparent change of heart. “Legally,” he said, “they already met requirements of the contract.” Don Redman and Lori Boyer, the other committee members, said much the same thing. So did the city lawyers. And in fact, the contract is rather specific: “Amounts raised in a previous period may be counted towards successive periods.” City officials knew FOHP was raising money before the contract was finalized; what purpose would it serve not to include that in the total, unless you were trying to sabotage the deal on a technicality? In any event, on Dec. 17, the city lawyers had rendered their verdict. In an email to the Department of Parks & Recreation, Assistant General Counsel John C. Sawyer Jr. wrote that “To disallow funds raised prior to the Effective Date runs counter to the intent of the contract language.” FHOP has money in the bank. (It’s worth noting here that the city’s first payment, due Sept. 1, didn’t arrive until the middle of October.) They’ve also made noticeable progress, even if it’s in the early stages. (“It takes time,” Lee told Wood toward the end of the meeting. “I get that. You all have been doing a good job. No doubt about that.” “By
Without that money, one of the city’s most IMPORTANT Downtown initiatives would be very much IMPERILED. days earlier, Lee had gotten a phone call from Max Marbut, a reporter for the Daily Record. Marbut had looked through the financial records of the Wayne Wood-helmed group Friends of Hemming Park and found something he deemed amiss: The group’s contract mandates that between Sept. 1 and Nov. 30, FOHP must raise $25,000 in order to receive a $150,000 contribution from the city. But the group reported raising only $1,500 — yet the city paid up anyway. FOHP — backed by a fairly straightforward letter from the Office of General Counsel — had a simple explanation: They knew they were getting the city contract for months before the agreement was inked, and had secured $50,000 in grants. Under the terms of the contract, that counted toward their fundraising goals. Problem solved. But Lee wasn’t buying it. “How do you
the time this summer rolls around,” Wood assured her, “it’ll be a completely different park.”) So what’s the big deal? “Obviously they don’t have sufficient funds coming in,” Lee told Folio Weekly the day before the meeting. “I think it makes a big difference.” She also expressed concern about the “integrity of the agreement.” But mostly, she seemed upset that the Office of General Counsel had made what she felt was a substantive change to the agreement without consulting the city’s legislative body. “I think they [FOHP] were misled by the general counsel,” Lee said. “Obviously the general counsel made a decision without bringing that to City Council. If there were changes to be made, that should be [up to] City Council.” She continued that thread at the meeting. “It’s got to be cleared up,” she said over and over again. At one point, when Redman called the general counsel’s legal opinion “valid,” Lee responded tersely, “That’s his opinion. It’s not mine.” And then she argued with General Counsel Jason Gabriel over whether the words “previous period” apply to the period before the contract. When Gabriel told her that term was not defined, she told him, “I don’t think you can actually give the opinion you have given. I think the opinion needs to be changed.” After a little more than an hour of this — with Gulliford looking bored and Redman looking exasperated — they came upon a solution: a resolution specifying that, yes, the $50,000 could go toward FOHP’s targets. “I don’t think it’s necessary, but I’ll support it if that’s what everybody wants to do,” said Redman, who just a couple of years ago had asked the mayor to immediately remove all the tables and chairs from Hemming Park to push out unsavory characters. And then Bill Gulliford perfectly summed up the whole affair: “It’s probably redundant, but I’ll vote for it. Whatever.” Even with that potential crisis averted, and even with that $50,000 counting toward the cumulative fundraising target, the Friends of Hemming Park still faces another big benchmark at month’s end, and still needs a significant amount to get over the hump. But don’t worry, FOHP board member and former Jaguars CFO Bill Prescott told the committee. They’ve got a $75,000-plus grant coming in the next week or so. Jeffrey C. Billman jbillman@folioweekly.com FEBRUARY 18-24, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7
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THE VAST, WEIRD SONIC NIC ICC LANDSCA LANDSCAPES LANDSCAPE ANDSC OF JOSH MASON
J
osh Mason used to make regular music.
STORY BY JOHN E. CITRONE PHOTOS BY DENNIS HO
You know, verse/chorus/verse/chorus/bridge/out-chorus. The crap you’ve heard on the radio since 1947. He gave it up to do stuff you’ve probably never heard and probably wouldn’t understand if you had. Mason is, for lack of a better term, a sound collage artist. He works in textures, electronic pulses, fuzzed-out bloops and buzzy drones. He bends birdcalls and wind gusts, distorts temple bells, scratches records, and speeds up and slows down tape. He lets things develop slowly, almost imperceptibly. He’ll consume the entire side of a vinyl record with one or two lengthy pieces of music. I first met Mason at (disclosure) this very publication, maybe a decade ago, when he was working as a graphic artist and I was managing editor. An unassuming character with a huge beard (note: he was into the beard years before this whole lumbersexual thing came along) and a shy niceness about him, Mason turned me on to a world of new music. He gave me Sunn’s Monoliths & Dimensions on double vinyl. He gifted me with an Ocean T-shirt, sparking my love affair with the Mainebased doom metal ensemble. And he once, in a stress fit, uploaded every album he owned onto a data disc, handed it to me in a package called “Scorched Earth,” and said, “Don’t give this back to me.” He then deleted all of the music from his hard drive in an attempt to take a new direction in listening. (I still have that disc, Josh, if you want it back.) Since leaving Folio Weekly, Mason has relocated from his former Riverside digs to a house less than the length of a football field from my home in Avondale. Yet despite his proximity, I’ve seen him maybe five times, once to engage in a sludge metal jam at my studio. I have those recordings and may one day release them, if he’d agree to it. As it stands, Josh Mason is creating and releasing his own material, mostly on vinyl, and distributing it from right there in his little bungalow. Here’s a glimpse into his independent world of sonic weirdness.
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SHIFTING HIFTIN FREQUENCIES EQUENCI QUEN <<< FROM PREVIOUS
Folio Weekly: You lived in Chicago for many years. Why did you come back to Jacksonville? Josh Mason: Originally, I am from Melbourne. I came to Jacksonville almost totally by accident. I was freezing to death in Chicago in 2007 and was actively trying to figure out a way to move back to Florida. While visiting, I ended up running into the girl who would eventually become my wife back in my hometown. A friend of mine ended up finding me a job here in town, and we’ve been here since. Your local band history includes the cleverly named Kitty Party. What was that all about? I never played in any bands here in Jacksonville, but yeah, I was in a band no one ever heard of called Kitty Party for a short time with guys who lived all over the state, most of whom I’ve known since high school. I hated that band, mostly because everyone in it was extremely talented and they were wasting their time writing this jangly indie rock stuff. I sorta weaseled my way in just so I could add some fuzzed-out bass parts. I also convinced them they needed two drummers and more volume overall. What’s your working situation right now? Currently I work as a graphic designer, and I also run this small label [Sunshine Ltd., sunshineltd.info] when I have the time and brainpower left over. What’s happening with the label? A collaborative LP with Gareth Flowers just came out, as well as a collaborative tape under the name OLD SVRFERS, which is a collaboration with Brad Rose, of Digitalis Recordings fame, from Tulsa. I have a few more things on the back burner — including my take on a “surf ” record, which doesn’t currently have a home yet. Tell me about the album you did with Flowers. A couple years back, I released a tape for him on my label. He was doing some crazy stuff with trumpets and computer processing that blew me away. Around the same time, I had been dealing with some anxiety and other mental health issues. Some of that stuff manifested itself creatively as a fictional short story/alternative history I started to write, but I’m a terrible writer and I was never fully able to flesh it all out. I could see it all in my mind, but words aren’t really my thing. So I started
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thinking about it more like a play or a film, which is when I started to hear it in my head versus seeing it. Fast-forward a couple of years, and I was stuck at a train stop listening to Performance Today on NPR. The piece that was playing was “Quiet City” composed by Aaron Copland. It has this amazing lonely trumpet part that runs throughout it that I loved and was similar to the vibe of this thing I had swirling around in my head. Turns out it was Gareth playing on that specific recording. So I reached out to him and pitched him this whole score-for-a-film-based-on-a-storythat-doesn’t-exist-type thing. He was pretty excited about it, and was happy to collaborate on it with me. The idea is that the album follows the narrative arc of this guy who has holed himself away from the world after a tragic event one evening. You’re not really sure if he did something or something was done to him. The four movements align with four specific states of being related to the event in question: uneasiness, confusion, fear and relief. How did you get so deeply involved in sonic landscapes? I think it has more to do with having spent many years previously writing music in bands that had very specific kinds of progressions. It just got old after a while, and the idea of making sounds that just drifted had a lot of appeal. Suddenly I was free from the constraints of a group, and I could make music that allowed the listeners to fill in the gaps themselves. It’s participatory in a way. When you sit down to “write,” what are your considerations? It changes all the time. Typically, all of my work has been inspired. It’s not really “about” anything really, but the mood is usually a reflection of something that I see going on around me or the way I feel about something. As I mentioned earlier, I suck at words, so it’s much easier to me to translate those ideas into sound than words. I’ve made recordings inspired by everything from the writings of Horacio Quiroga to the birth of my niece. What equipment do you like to use to create your sounds? Well, it depends on what I’m working on, but more often than not, it begins with guitar work, as that is the instrument I have the most experience with. From there, any signal generated is filtered through any number of effects units, mixers, modified reel-to-reel tape machines and laptops running, in my opinion, terribly coded MaxMSP patches. In addition to that, I also use lots of found objects, contact
contact microphones, bells, music boxes. Really anything I can get my hands on that I can bang against something else. [Laughs.] You’ve also done a lot of field recordings. What are you trying to capture when you’re “in the field”? Textures mostly. You have your Chris Watsons and Gordon Hemptons of the world, and then you have guys like me who aren’t really concerned about clarity whatsoever. Half the time, the field recordings I make are so heavily processed that you wouldn’t believe what it was a recording of if I told you. You turned me on to some dark stuff — doom and stoner metal (Sunn, Sleep, etc). Is that an influence on you? Sometimes, yeah. Not so much because of the mood that those artists create, but their compositional choices. Especially this idea that a song goes on as long as it needs to convey an idea, whether that’s five minutes or 50 minutes.
“I’VE MADE RECORDINGS INSPIRED BY EVERYTHING FROM THE WRITINGS OF HORACIO QUIROGA TO THE BIRTH OF MY NIECE.”
Do you have any plans to release any heavier stuff ? I have learned to never say never. Recently I have reconnected musically with an old friend of mine, and we’ve begun playing some heavy stuff as a two-piece. Something might come of that if things fall into place the right way. What, in your mind, is music? How do you define it? The older I get, the more I think of music in terms of “purposeful sound” — or rather, sounds made with clear intent. Many people don’t consider what I make to be musical in a traditional sense of the word. They say, “It’s just a bunch of noise.” But to me, if you arrange anything — be it orchestras or rhythmic sounds from a skipping CD — it has intent and was desired, which is the opposite of what noise is generally defined as. What would be your dream working situation musically? Man, great question. Probably some combination of a warm room with clean power and a view. And a gear library where I can check out whatever tool I could use along the way. These days, if I want to experiment with a special microphone or something ridiculous, like a hurdy-gurdy, I have to sell something else to make it happen. mail@folioweekly.com The Gareth Flowers + Josh Mason vinyl LP Silent Period, limited to 250 copies, is available at sunshineltd.info. FEBRUARY 18-24, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11
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he city of Jacksonville awarded the contract by default, because no one else wanted it — at least not on the terms the city had on offer. The first time the city’s Port Task Force solicited bids for an analysis of the economic impact of deepening the JaxPort to 47 feet, only one company responded. That was no good. On the second try, two bids came in: one from BST Associates out of Washington state, and one from Xicon Economics in Savannah. Records show that by most measures in the city’s evaluation matrix — competence, professional accomplishments record, ability to design an approach and work plan — BST was considered the superior choice. But that company and the city couldn’t come to terms, so on Dec. 30 the Port Task Force inked a deal with Xicon and its founder, a man who bills himself on his LinkedIn page and company website as “Dr. Dr. Herbert M. Barber, Jr.”
BY JEFFREY C. BILLMAN
This was, beyond a brief mention in the Jacksonville Financial News & Daily Record a few weeks later, an unremarked-upon event — just another step in the long, slow, seemingly inevitable march toward getting underway the $700 million dredging project so desired by Chamber types and feared by environmentalists. Besides, it’s not like Barber was unqualifi ed. He’s been in the infrastructure economics business for 25 years, according to a bio on his company’s website. He has two PhDs (in engineering economics and industrial technology, hence the “Dr. Dr.”) and two master’s degrees. He says he’s been published in many a scientific journal. And, in a statement that will surely warm the hearts of dredging proponents, Barber once wrote that when looking at economic stimulus spending, “I nearly always favor infrastructure development.” But at the same time, he pretty clearly wasn’t vetted, at least more than cursorily. Barber’s LinkedIn page contains a link to the Amazon page for a book he self-published in 2012 called Fall of a Nation: A Biblical Perspective of a Modern Problem. (Portions of the book are available for free on Google Books.) Best described as a screed culling together the sorts of statements you’d find
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$60K
CONSULTANT <<< FROM PREVIOUS
in the comments section of a reactionary site like WorldNetDaily, Fall of a Nation argues that America is going to hell because we have turned our backs on God and God’s ordained economic order, unfettered capitalism. In it, Barber sneers at the “ugly,” “entitled” poor and claims that President Obama is “logarithmically more anti-American than any ten thousand terrorists.” Last week, Folio Weekly emailed passages from the book to the mayor’s office. The usually cautious Alvin Brown responded with an unequivocal statement: “I strongly condemn the views expressed in the book. The author’s commentary fails to reflect the values of our community and seriously undermines his credibility. We will be working with the Port Task Force members to ensure that these unfortunate comments do not cloud their important efforts.” But despite Brown’s concerns about Barber’s credibility, and while the city has the explicit legal right to cancel the contract, it won’t. And so sometime after Barber presents his findings to the Port Task Force next month, the city will cut him a check for $60,000.
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he synopsis that appears on Amazon describes Fall of a Nation innocuously enough:
America is quickly eroding as a nation. Our political, economic, and social structures have collapsed, and life as we know it is quickly disappearing. To correct our decline, Republicans argue that we need less government, and Democrats argue that we need more government. Both parties claim understanding, but apparently neither has wisdom. Unfortunately, we have failed to consult God in our attempt to recover. God’s word provides a clear illustration regarding where America is politically, economically, and socially in Genesis and Exodus. The demise of America parallels almost perfectly with the demise of the Israelites in Egypt. The similarities are eerily disturbing.
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None of that is particularly alarming. Many people have religious convictions. Many people have lost faith in our political parties and institutions. And, according to polls, most people also believe the country is veering off on the wrong track. But that’s not the part that has aroused the mayor’s and dredging skeptics’ ire. Barber has a pronounced dislike for the “lazy” and “sorry” poor, who are “too sorry to work but not too sorry to take, for they will take whatever we allow,” he writes, echoing Mitt Romney’s infamous “47 percent” remarks. Elsewhere, Barber asks: “Where does constantly giving handouts to the sorry, the entitled, leave us?” He goes on about how the socialist
economic system steals from him, the hardworking rich man, to pay the pathetic layabout, and argues that “This is what happens when a society — its people and its leaders — abandon God”:
The entitled have eaten away every ounce of bounty we working Americans have ever considered earning, and they are still ugly. We have given them free educations, free meals, free housing, free medical, free cell phones, handout after handout, subsidy after subsidy, and they’re still ugly! You cannot change sorry. After a discussion of the deteriorating plight of the Israelites in Genesis, Barber compares their state to that of modern-day America, and finds that we, too, are doomed by our lack of faith in God and unfettered free-market capitalism (which are the same thing, apparently), as well as our willingness to elect as president a man he deems an unChristian America-hater.
Are we as Americans not heading quickly down the same path? Or, are we already there? The Israelites are completely at the mercy of the government. Completely. Moreover, friend, so are we. America is in a nearly identical place, outside of one significant fact. Our leaders are certainly no Joseph, especially Obama. From the looks of things, neither will our next president be. [Editor’s note: Barber’s book came out before the 2012 election.] The current Republican front-runner, Mitt Romney, is not a Christian either [Editor’s note: “either”], rather a Mormon. Of course, unlike our current president, Romney is not antiAmerican. Barber, as you’ve probably surmised by now, is not likely a member of the Barack Obama Fan Club. Here’s more:
Obama is in his early 50s, and his arrogance reigns supreme. Unfortunately, his arrogance could not run more counter to his actual (positive) accomplishments as leader of the free world! Even worse, given that the Republican Party seems to be having diffi culty getting its own party in order, Obama may actually have a chance to rule another four years, thus, sealing the catastrophic fate of America once and for all. … Obama did more to destroy America in his first two years in office than the collective damage reaped from all politicians since the founding of this country. … Obama knows exactly what he is doing. He is no fool; he just hates America. He is logarithmically more anti-American than any ten thousand terrorists.
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hen the Port Task Force announced that it was going to hire someone to review a 2009 study by Martin Associates that linked 65,000 jobs to JaxPort — even though not all of those jobs are actually local, and most are indirectly connected to the port — Jimmy Orth was thrilled. The executive director of the St. Johns Riverkeeper, Orth has long been dubious about JaxPort’s deepening plans,
including the promised jobs boom that proponents assure will override any damage done to the St. Johns River’s ecosystem. (The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers has said that dredging the river would have only minor impacts on salinity. Last month, the Riverkeeper agreed to potentially drop a federal lawsuit to block the deepening project in exchange for tearing down the Rodman Dam in Putnam County, which would pump freshwater into the St. Johns River.) “We want them to review the methodologies and results,” Orth says. So last year, when the task force decided to do so, his group was pleased. Then last week they learned about the man the task force had hired. “Now, we’re concerned,” Orth says. Whatever Barber concludes, “We’re going to be skeptical of the results.” David Jaffee, the University of North Florida sociology professor behind the The Ports Project, and one of the area’s more outspoken deepening critics, also wanted a second opinion. But the task force budgeted only $60,000 for the review — which, for this kind of work, isn’t a lot, he says. It wasn’t enough to lure more than a couple of bids, and not enough to induce the city’s first choice to sign on the dotted line. But $60,000 did secure Herbert Barber. The problem, critics say, isn’t just the radical things things he has written, but also the overarching philosophy undergirding his polemic. “He has a political-economic perspective that is obviously off the charts to some extent,” Jaffee says. “It’s hard for me to really know. I don’t think this guy would recommend anything that wasn’t pro-business.” Indeed, if Fall of a Nation is any guide, Barber won’t be concerned about environmental impacts much at all. He views environmentalism as part and parcel of the socialist taker mentality. “The tree huggers and the do-gooders,” he writes dismissively, “will always find ways to hang on to that which they feel the lazy are entitled.” “Based on the extreme views of Dr. Barber, we are concerned about his objectivity and the outcome of his analysis,” Orth followed up in an email. “He clearly isn’t too fond of groups like Riverkeeper, either.” So far, he adds, the task force has been good about keeping both environmental activists and business interests in the loop, and his organization wants to learn more “before we draw any conclusions about the hiring of Dr. Barber. But, this does seem to be an oversight on the part of the Task Force.” (Port Task Force co-chairs Martin E. “Hap” Stein and John Baker did not return messages left at their respective offices by press time.) For Orth, this matter is troubling on a more personal level, too. “There’s a different issue here,” he says. “We’re spending our taxpayer dollars for somebody who has such extreme viewpoints. Personally I’m offended, too.” And therein lies the rub: So what if Barber’s made cringe-worthy statements about the president? Freedom of speech is sacrosanct to a democracy. But is there a point at which you can say something so beyond the pale that perhaps municipal governments should stop writing you checks with taxpayer money and relying on your expertise to make major economic decisions, because clearly your judgment can be called into question? Barber doesn’t think so. Reached last week by phone, he told Folio Weekly — in a voice much more soft-spoken than you imagine
when reading him on the printed page — that his book has nothing to do with his work, which is empirically and not ideologically based. “The data is what it is.” But as Orth points out, Barber has made similar, if less incendiary comments, under the Xicon Economics brand. For instance, in a July 2014 paper titled “Will America Recover?” — printed with the slogan “Xicon. We grow economies” affixed to the bottom of each page — Barber writes, “When demands from the takers exceed the capacities, and willingness, of the makers, the party is over. Well America, the party is over; the fat lady has sung.” There are a few different aspects to the work Barber is doing for the task force, he says: He’s reviewing the validity of a previous
“The entitled have eaten away every ounce of bounty we working Americans have ever considered earning, and they are still ugly. We have given them free educations, free meals, free housing, free medical, free cell phones, handout after handout, subsidy after subsidy, and they’re still ugly!”
economic development study on deepening the port, developing an independent analysis of the port’s business potential with and without the deepening, and providing a costbenefit analysis of the project. (Folio Weekly had requested the first draft of his report, which was due to the city on Friday, Feb. 13. As of Tuesday morning, however, the city had not received it; the Office of Economic Development was expecting it to come in later this week, according to Alexis Lambert of the Office of Public Accountability.) Told about Mayor Brown’s reaction to learning about his book, Barber seemed caught off-guard. “The mayor,” he responded, “of course, is entitled to his opinion, and I am entitled to mine. … It’s unfortunate the mayor felt the need to make those comments.” The contract with Xicon gives the city of Jacksonville the right to pull out “at any time and for any reason.” But from the city’s perspective, even if it wanted to terminate the contract, taxpayers would still be on the hook for the work Barber has already done. Since Barber’s final report is due March 2 — Barber will present his findings to the task force at its next meeting, at 3 p.m. on March 11 in the Lynwood Roberts Room of City Hall — that would probably be nearly all of the $60,000, and the city would have to start all over again. jbillman@folioweekly.com FEBRUARY 18-24, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15
Our Picks Reasons to leave the house this week
POP IT AMBER
In the mid-’90s, Dutch-born German singer Amber rocketed up the charts with techno-dance hits like “Colour of Love” and her mega-smash, “This is Your Night” (which also found its way onto the soundtrack of the greatest film of all time: A Night at the Roxbury.) But Amber (born Marie-Claire Cremers) didn’t rest on her Eurodance laurels, instead going on to earn a 2001 Grammy nomination, continuing to record and being a fave at LGBT festivals. 8 p.m. Feb. 22 at Hamburger Mary’s, 3333 Beach Blvd., Ste. 1, Southside, advance tickets $15; $25 at the door; $50 VIP, hamburgermarys.com/jax.
ART
OMPHALOS
READ ALL ABOUT IT
The term Omphalos (Greek for navel) signifies various symbolic points that bridge the worldly and divine. Using this concept as a launching pad, Lauren Frances Evans and Jensen Hande were prompted to explore “the urges and the allure of origins” in their new exhibit being staged here. The Iowa City-based multimedia artist Evans (pictured, Bound to Being, hog intestines, fiberglass insulation, false eyelashes and rubber band, 3”x3”x3”) focuses on the body to address what she sees as an “irresistible paradox,” while renowned local photographer Hande uses portraits to study the possible juxtaposition of humor and commercialism that develops within his images. Opening reception is held 5-7 p.m. Feb. 19 at Jacksonville University’s Alexander Brest Gallery, 2800 N. University Blvd., Arlington, ju.edu. The exhibit is on display through March 18.
AMELIA ISLAND BOOK FESTIVAL
Writing can drive a person completely insane. We Folio Weekly staffers spend countless hours collaborating on our now-3,000-plus-page fanfi c opus The Walking Dread: Zombie Reggae Daleks in Panem. Just in time, the 14th annual Amelia Island Book Festival gives us local scribes the chance to hone our craft at writers’ workshops, go to meet-and-greets with authors like Carolyn Curry (pictured, Suffer and Grow Strong: The Life of Ella Gertrude Clanton Thomas, 1834-1907) and crash events including a luncheon, teen fest and kids zone. Feb. 19-21 at various locations in Fernandina Beach; for a schedule and ticket prices, go to ameliaislandbookfestival.org.
HELLO NASTY BLOWFLY
Considered by many to be the original rapper, since the early ’70s Blowfly has been delivering sex-based song parodies and original dirty ditties (95 percent of which we surely can’t print!) like “Blowfly’s Rapp” and “Nobody’s Butt But Yours, Babe” to an audience hungry for his blend of R&B, soul, funk and filth – all while clad as a superhero in mask and cap. The now-75-year-old Blowfly hits town; his gig this weekend features heavyweight openers Twinki, Tough Junkie and Heavy Flow. 8 p.m. Feb. 21 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown, 677-2977, $10-$12.
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GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER PALATKA BLUEGRASS FESTIVAL
Locals lookin’ for some pickin’ (and quite possibly grinnin’) will head to the 11th annual Palatka Bluegrass Festival. This family-friendly hoedown features live music by Dailey & Vincent, Rhonda Vincent (pictured) & The Rage, Doyle Lawson & Quicksilver, Russell Moore and IIIrd Tyme Out, The Spinney Brothers, Alan Sibley & the Magnolia Ramblers, The Boxcars, Jimmy Fortune, Dry Branch Fire Squad, The Grascals, Breaking Grass, The Gibson Brothers, Marty Raybon & Full Circle and The Little Roy & Lizzy Show, as well as food vendors. Feb. 19-21 at Rodeheaver Boys Ranch, 380 Boys Ranch Road, $15-$90, for details and schedule and to score tickets, go to adamsbluegrass.com; camping available, proceeds benefit the programs for at-risk boys.
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A&E // MOVIES
GOING FOR GOLD
Folio Weekly presents our predictions for Oscar night
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he 87th annual Oscar awards show is being held Sunday, Feb. 22 at 8 p.m., Neil Patrick Harris is the host and, based on his work hosting the Tony Awards, he should be a good one. Harris will perform an original songand-dance number, “Moving Pictures,” that was written by Frozen Oscar-winners Kristen Anderson-Lopez and Robert Lopez, and there’ll be plenty more singing with John Legend and Common performing their Oscar-nominated song “Glory” from Selma, and Adam Levine and Rita Ora also performing Oscar-nominated songs. There should be some natural, unforced moments — the tearful thank-you speeches, the fumbling presenters, the unscripted f-bombs — to savor throughout the evening as well. And, oh, yeah, there will be winners and losers. Here’s a breakdown of the big six categories, including predictions I’ll brag about if I’m right and never mention again if I’m wrong. When it comes to the fun folks in the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences, as we’ve seen many times, anything can happen. The Best Picture race is shaping up much like that of the 2010 campaign, in which The Social Network won most of the early critics’ honors, while The King’s Speech ran roughshod over the Guild awards and Oscars. This year, Boyhood took many of the early accolades, and Birdman has been coming on strong of late with wins at the award ceremonies of the trifecta of Guilds: Producers, Directors and Screen Actors. And since a handful of guild members are also Oscar voters, we can lean toward Birdman having the edge for Best Picture, even if Boyhood did just win Best Picture at the BAFTA (the British version of the Oscars). This is a tight race that could go any number of ways, especially considering the strength and quality of the other nominees: The Grand Budapest Hotel is an absolute delight and probably director Wes Anderson’s best film; Selma is a triumph of acting and sentiment with a strong message; the expertly made The Imitation Game has two acting nominations; the same can be said for The Theory of Everything; Whiplash is my pick for the Best Picture of 2014, a high-energy crash course in pedagogy and the peril of blind ambition; and American Sniper is a runaway box-office hit that’s won the heart of many Americans. It comes down to this: As we’ve learned in the past, with Shakespeare in Love beating Saving Private Ryan, and even last year with 12 Years a Slave beating Gravity, Academy members vote with their hearts above anything else. And I think Boyhood will win their hearts, so Boyhood will win — even though Whiplash should. Often Best Picture and Best Director go hand-in-hand, so one would expect Boyhood director Richard Linklater to take home the Oscar. But not so fast: Based on its guild award victories, Birdman can be expected to win a major award — its best shot is for director Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu. The gimmick of the film appearing to have been shot in one long take is technically masterful — you can anticipate the film to win Best Cinematography as well — and the story is an apt commentary on industry issues, including the cult of celebrity, disdain for critics, the hardships of artistry and more. Also nominated for Best Directing are Bennett Miller for Foxcatcher, Morten Tyldum for The Imitation Game and Wes Anderson for The Grand Budapest Hotel. When it’s all said and done, I’m predicting
Inarritu will win even though Tyldum should. I believe The Imitation Game is the best film among the five nominees for Best Directing. Unlike those categories, the acting slot winners are easier to predict, especially in the supporting categories. For Best Actor in a Supporting Role, J.K. Simmons is rightfully a lock for his turn as the sadistic music teacher who tortures an aspiring drummer played by Miles Teller in Whiplash. Simmons’ fiery demeanor, ice-cold stare, deep voice and black attire immediately make his character, Fletcher, a fearsome individual. And with Simmons clearly the person who will win and should win, fellow Supporting Actor nominees Edward Norton for Birdman, Mark Ruffalo for Foxcatcher, Ethan Hawke for Boyhood and Robert Duvall for The Judge are no doubt honored just to be nominated. The Best Actress in a Supporting Role category also has a clear favorite: Patricia Arquette for Boyhood. Her performance as a single mom who makes poor relationship decisions is one of the emotional highlights of the film, and she’s a respected actress who’s paid her dues. Arquette is up against Emma Stone in Birdman, Keira Knightley in The Imitation Game, Laura Dern in Wild and Meryl Streep’s 19th overall acting nomination, this time for Into the Woods. It’s a solid category, but Arquette will and should win. For Best Actress in a Leading Role, it looks like it’s finally Julianne Moore’s year. Her phenomenal performance as a linguistics professor with early-onset Alzheimer’s in Still Alice is the fifth nomination of her career, and should be her first victory. Moore’s transition from a smart alpha woman into someone who can barely remember her children is heartbreaking, and the pinnacle of female performances in 2014. Also nominated for Best Actress are previous winners Reese Witherspoon for Wild and Marion Cotillard for Two Days, One Night, as well as Felicity Jones for The Theory of Everything and Rosamund Pike for Gone Girl. Pike is my personal favorite, but Moore will win — and she should. And finally, Best Actor in a Leading Role will come down to two: Eddie Redmayne as ALS-afflicted Stephen Hawking in The Theory of Everything and Michael Keaton as an actor looking to prove himself in Birdman. Both were fantastic, so the question is: Will the Academy go for the more physical performance with Screen Actors Guild winner Redmayne, or the career-best great comeback story from Keaton? This is a tough one to call, and it’s not any easier with the strong work of fellow Best Actor nominees Bradley Cooper in American Sniper, Benedict Cumberbatch in The Imitation Game and Steve Carell as we’ve never seen him in Foxcatcher. This will be very close, but Redmayne will win, as well he should. Dan Hudak mail@folioweekly.com
COULDA BEEN A CONTENDER: Front-runners in a number of Oscar categories (from top) The Grand Budapest Hotel, Boyhood, Birdman and Whiplash.
A&E // MOVIES FILM RATINGS
DAVID CARR **** LEROY CARR **@@
JAMES CARR ***@ LUCIEN CARR *@@@
SCREENINGS AROUND TOWN
SUN-RAY CINEMA Paradise Garden is screened at 7 p.m. Feb. 21, with a Q&A after the screening with director Ava Leigh Stewart and cinematographer Jeremy Oliver Miller; artist R. Land will also be in attendance. Everything is Terrible! screens their film, Legends, on Feb. 25, featuring an interactive live show. Kingsman: The Secret Service, Birdman, Mr. Turner and Song of the Sea screen at Sun-Ray Cinema, 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. Oscar Nominated Shorts run through Feb. 19. Check website for details. LATITUDE 360 MOVIES The Hobbit and Unbroken screen at Latitude 360’s CineGrille Theater, 10370 Philips Hwy., Southside, 365-5555, latitude360.com/jacksonville-fl. THE CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ Nightcrawler and Men, Women & Children screen through Feb. 26 at Corazon Cinema, 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com. Happy Valley starts Feb. 20. WGHF IMAX THEATER Jupiter Ascending, The Seventh Son, Game of Thrones, Hidden Universe, Deep Sea Challenge and Humpback Whales screen at World Golf Village Hall of Fame IMAX Theater, 1 World Golf Place, St. Augustine, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com.
NOW SHOWING
BLACKHAT *@@@ Rated R Overwritten and underwhelming, Michael Mann’s Blackhat should’ve been a taut cyber thriller of espionage and intrigue. It’s not. It’s a cyber bore full of nonsense, held together with a plot that’s denser than it needs to be. Costars Viola Davis, Chris Hemsworth, Leehom Wang and Wei Tang. — Dan Hudak BLACK OR WHITE *G@@ Rated PG-13 Elliott Anderson (Kevin Costner), a successful attorney who’s been raising his 7-year-old granddaughter, Eloise (Jillian Estell) with his wife, Carol (Jennifer Ehle), ever since their daughter died during childbirth. As the film opens, Carol has died in a car accident; Elliott’s grief-stricken, turning to alcohol for comfort. He gets an offer to help take care of the child from Rowena (Octavia Spencer), Eloise’s other grandmother, but Elliott has a grudge against her son, Eloise’s absentee, drug-addict dad, Reggie (André Holland). When Gramps resists sharing custody, Rowena heads to court. It’s a superficial way to capitalize on an edgy premise, and it’s hard to watch it tossed around casually by a filmmaker who seems to have no clue how to take it seriously. — Scott Renshaw BLACK SEA ***@ Rated R Robinson (Jude Law) gets fired from the only job he’s ever had, a submarine captain for a salvage company. He’s a never-say-die kinda guy, so he gathers 12 seafarers to search for two tons of gold allegedly left behind by the Nazis deep in the Black Sea. Director Kevin Macdonald fashions the submarine into both another character and a metaphor. The deeper the sub sinks, the more despair seeps into its crew — the morale and desperation increase as the sub reaches new depths. This is a subtle touch, but skilled filmmaker Macdonald pulls it off. — D.H. THE BOY NEXT DOOR Rated R Remember the ’80s genre of “from hell” movies? Nanny From Hell (The Hand That Rocks the Cradle), Roommate From Hell (Single White Female) and Mistress From Hell (Fatal Attraction). This new movie is the 21st century entry in that sleazy bunch: the Himbo Jailbait From Hell. Jennifer Lopez plays a single mom entangled with her underage stud muffin neighbor, only to find he’s just too psychotically clingy. — Steve Schneider CAKE Rated R Jennifer Aniston is getting a lot of buzz for her portrayal of Claire, a woman with debilitating chronic pain who becomes overly obsessed by another woman from her support group who killed herself. Costars Anna Kendrick, Mamie Gummer, Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy. THE DUFF Rated PG-13 A sequel to The Simpsons? Don’t we all wish. This teen melodrama isn’t a paean to Springfield’s favorite beer, but the story of a girl who learns she’s considered a DUFF (Designated Ugly Fat Friend) within her social circle. The narrative of identities remade and bitch-queens dethroned is bound to captivate, especially if you’re too young to have seen Mean Girls, let alone She’s All That. One lucky preview attendee called the movie “a party.” Then again, Duff Man says a lot of things. Costars Bella Thorne, Mae Whitman, Robbie Amell and Allison Janney. — S.S.
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY Rated R At last: the movie version of the book that made a nation of foosball moms feel dirrrrrty! It has all the prerequisites to be just as much of a howl-fest as its source material: The director hasn’t been entrusted with a feature since her first one five years ago. The male lead is best known for TV’s Once Upon a Time. The female lead is the offsping of Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson. So it’s destined for a swift descent into ignominious obscurity, right? Hate to burst your bubble, sweetheart, but it’s Fandango’s top R-rated advance seller of all time. Ain’t it always, always the way? — S.S.
but had felt compelled to make one of them black as well. Yeah, dude … tell us how slavishly you’ve memorized that original. Instead of bitching about the presence of Leslie Jones, let’s consider how close we might have come to seeing this generation’s Winston Zeddemore played by Craig Robinson, with Seth Rogen, James Franco and Jonah Hill as his pals. Shiver! Anyway, Robinson is back for this sequel, once again proving he can keep beating the same character into the ground with the best of ’em. Rob Corddry, Clark Duke and Adam Scott also return – but there’s no sign of John Cusack, ostensible star of the 2010 original. Make of that what you will. (I’m making a hat.) — S.S.
FOXCATCHER ***G Rated R The sordid tale of John DuPont’s (Steve Carell) great wealth and unfulfilled desires focuses on his amateur wrestling philanthropy. John lures 1984 Olympic gold medalist Mark Schultz (Channing Tatum) to his Foxcatcher Farms to train; DuPont thinks he’s a coach and providing training facilities for future Olympic champions makes him a great American. John invites Mark’s more celebrated brother, fellow Olympic champion Dave Schultz (Mark Ruffalo), to train at Foxcatcher, but Dave declines. Good thinking, Dave. — D.H.
JUPITER ASCENDING **@@ Rated PG-13 This bloated sci-fi cheese, an intergalactic and extravagantly over-the-top saga that simultaneously wows and confounds, was written and directed by Andy and Lana Wachowski. Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis) is a woman destined for great things and true love but, as the movie opens, she’s cleaning toilets. Soon her life is saved by good guy half-man/half-wolf Caine (Channing Tatum); we know he’s good because he’s unfairly ambushed by three space goons and heroically/inexplicably fights his way through the attack. Interplanetary siblings Balem (Eddie Redmayne), Titus (Douglas Booth) and Kalique (Tuppence Middleton) control planets throughout the solar system. Earth belongs to Balem, though Titus covets it. Knowing the rightful heir to Earth is Jupiter (the person, not the planet), Titus sends Caine to protect her from Balem’s henchmen, but they’re captured. Complications ensue.
HOT TUB TIME MACHINE 2 Rated R One of my favorite moments in the stupid flap over the Ghostbusters reboot came courtesy of some troglodyte poster Ain’t It Cool News, who complained the studio hadn’t just reimagined the new ecto-team as all-female,
MAGIC LANTERNS
UNDER THE RADAR
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irector Terry Gilliam is back with his first film since The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus (2009), which was Heath Ledger’s last. Were it not for the notoriety surrounding Ledger’s death and the curious manner in which Gilliam finished Parnassus without his leading man, probably as few viewers would have seen it as saw the new film, which has arrived unceremoniously (and quickly) on home video. The Zero Theorem is typical Gilliam, which means it’s unlike most movies a typical moviegoer wants to see. Nonetheless, the erstwhile animator of Monty Python remains one of the most innovative and exciting movie masters at work today. His newest film may not be his best, but the director of Time Bandits, Brazil, 12 Monkeys, and The Fisher King still knows how to work the magic. Qohen Leth (Oscar-winner Christoph Waltz) is a neurotic, fearful programmer trying to survive with as little fuss as possible in a future urban world defined by visual and audial noises on every spectrum — commercial, advertising, computer, fashion. Most everyone else seems happy and quite at ease in this bright, busy world, but Qohen isolates himself in his cavernous home, which resembles a former cathedral gone to seed, the head of the crucifix replaced with an electronic eye. His job is crunching numbers or “entities” for Mancom Industries, a company whose shadowy head (Matt Damon) wants Qohen to solve the zero theorem, proving once and for all (with numbers) that life is indeed meaningless — a black hole, a big zero. More comic and hopeful than Gilliam’s early masterpiece Brazil (1986) with which it shares notable thematic similarities (the
individual vs. technocracy, fantasy vs. reality), The Zero Theorem is about redemption for poor alienated Qohen, his savior arriving in the form of apparently ditzy Bainsley (Melanie Thierry), the star of an online porn site. As in most Gilliam films, the protagonist must strip away one illusion after another if he is to find the truth, and for Qohen Leth (his last name suggests the river of forgetfulness), the girl behind the girl on the computer screen just might be it. Awash in dazzling colors and stunning set designs worthy of the Monty Python illustrator, the cryptic nature of The Zero Theorem and its array of odd characters may put off most viewers, but Gilliam fans (you know who you are!) should check it out. For those same devoted fans, more good news: The word is that the writer/director is in preproduction (again!) on The Man Who Killed Don Quixote, this time with John Hurt as the Man of La Mancha. Quite by accident, I segued from watching The Zero Theorem to viewing a Lithuanian film, also new to home video, called Vanishing Waves. Like Gilliam’s film, Vanishing Waves uses science-fiction to explore the parameters of identity and love, but with a decidedly different tone and approach. The plot concerns a scientist’s attempt to tap into the neural circuitry of a comatose female patient, but when he does, he finds far more than he expected. An odd erotic love story of sorts, Vanishing Waves is even more cerebral than Zero Theorem, but definitely worth a look for fans (you know who you are!) of Stanislaw Lem, the 1989 film Altered States, and Brainstorm (1983), Natalie Wood’s last movie. Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com FEBRUARY 18-24, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 19
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A&E // MOVIES
THE LIFE DIVINE
A documentary offers a fascinating look into the realm of outsider artist Howard Finster
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he term “visionary artist” is used to describe any creative type who is able to step out of the norm of familiar ideas of content, media and approach. If we’re lucky, truly “visionary” individuals open our minds to the inherent, transformative power of art while pointing us toward new directions, or even realms, that go beyond surface appeal. The 2014 documentary Paradise Garden is a celebration of one such artist. During the film’s 83 minutes, we’re invited into the life, art and colorful home of “outsider artist” Howard Finster (1916-2001), a man guided by what he felt was an absolute vision, provided by the ultimate muse: God. Alabama-born, Finster claimed to have received his first spiritual vision featured in a show at Phyllis Kind Gallery in at the age of 3, when his deceased sister came to Manhattan, he opened a door for other outsider him, telling the boy, “Howard, you’re gonna be artists like St. EOM, R.A. Miller and Purvis man of visions.” Twelve years later, Finster was Young to find a greater audience. Paradise a teenaged tent revival preacher, a calling he Garden regular and Finster devotee Keith would ultimately honor for 45 years. Haring even installed a sculpture that still stands Finster spent his early adult life raising a on the grounds. Atlanta’s High Art Museum’s family and pursuing the path of an evangelical, Susan Crawley is a knowledgeable presence augmenting his income as a textile worker. In throughout the film, as are Finster collector 1961, he purchased a parcel of swampy acreage Thomas Scanlin and visual artists R. Land in Summerville, Georgia. Fueled by spoonfuls and Stephen Penley, who explain how Finster of instant coffee washed down with Coca-Cola, influenced their respective sensibilities in their Finster worked around the clock, landscaping own painterly practices. Jordan Poole, Paradise and creating statues and temple-like-structures Garden Foundation executive director, is also with repurposed items ranging from bottles an erudite source, describing the importance of to old bicycles, building a shrine-like enclave preserving Finster’s legacy and land. in the Georgia woods that was soon known as Much of Finster’s wider exposure came Paradise Garden. in part due to the involvement of musicians. In 1976, God told 60-year-old Finster to not Both R.E.M. and the Talking Heads used his only “paint sacred art,” but fill a specific work paintings for album covers; the film features order of 5,000 paintings. humorous and even Finster complied. Using poignant interviews with tractor enamel to render R.E.M.’s Mike Mills, the PARADISE GARDEN religious-infused images on Talking Heads’ Chris ***G Not Rated 7 p.m. Feb. 21 at Sun-Ray Cinema, every available surface, the Frantz, the B-52s’ Cindy 1028 Park St., Riverside, $10, self-taught Finster created Wilson and Indigo Girl sunraycinema.com colorful works that touched Amy Ray. Q&A after the screening with on everything from Elvis Paradise Garden most director Ava Leigh Stewart and to eschatological visions, certainly succeeds in cinematographer Jeremy Oliver many covered in scriptural conveying the influence of Miller; artist R. Land will also passages. Finster as both a painter be in attendance. After fulfilling this and person, but the divine command in 1985, film has a few interview Finster received God’s second decree to omissions. Chicago-based collectors Jim and continue painting. Four years later, Finster had Beth Arient, who were intimates of Finster’s for completed 10,000 more pieces. By the time many years, are missing from the story. And of his death, Finster had finished more than though she’s featured in two brief snippets, 46,000 pieces of sacred art. daughter Beverly Finster-Guinn is otherwise Writer-director Ava Leigh Stewart’s notably absent. Paradise Garden encapsulates Finster’s saga Stewart is admittedly dealing with a finite through interviews with fans, artists, art amount of historic footage, as her subject has critics, collectors and video footage of the been dead for years, yet there is a sense of artist himself. The film also acknowledges the padding in Paradise Garden. Quite frankly, project of the Paradise Garden Foundation interviews with the country band Blackhawk and its efforts to maintain Finster’s visionary fall flat, and the recurring use of footage of wonderland while spreading the gospel of his Finster’s sculpture garden sometimes feels a bit remarkable work. redundant. Starting in the mid-’70s, Finster became a Those minor criticisms aside, Paradise kind of minor celebrity in the art world and Garden is an engaging and enjoyable tribute popular media. In the film, there are snippets to Howard Finster that will appeal to those of TV news stories, as well as Finster’s nowcurious about a truly enigmatic American famous 1985 appearance on The Tonight Show artist of the 20th century, and satisfy those who Starring Johnny Carson, where he won over the admire this gospel-driven creator. crowd and host with his charisma and charm. Daniel A. Brown When the ever-magnanimous Finster was dbrown@folioweekly.com
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A&E // MOVIES
Robbie Amell and Mae Whitman star in the teen comedy film The DUFF. KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE *@@@ Rated R Harry (Colin Firth), codename Galahad, recruits Eggsy (Taron Egerton), a kid from the wrong side of the London tracks, to be a member of the Kingsmen, elite society of gentleman spies and international men of mystery who answer to no government, only to the highest causes of justice, global peace and elegance, in bespoke attire. They all have Knights of the Round Table spy names: Michael Caine, their leader, is Arthur; Jack Davenport is codenamed Lancelot; even their Q, played by Mark Strong, is Merlin. Samuel L. Jackson is Valentine, a villainous yet squeamish tech mogul who’s out to do something bad to the world and must be stopped. THE LOFT Rated R This is an example of Crises Befalling People You Don’t Give a Rat’s Ass About. A bunch of fellas keep a loft apartment as party pad – only to have it all threatened when a chick turns up dead there. Out here in sane America, this sort of film is known as a Serves You Right movie. Adulterous goons with excessive real-estate budgets – they’re just like us! — S.S. McFARLAND USA Rated PG Who but a Disney screenwriter could come up with this pitch: There’s this poor Latino high school in California, and all the kids want is to become a running team that can rank among the very best in the sport. But what it takes for them to make their dream a reality is to experience the mentorship of a dedicated Caucasian coach. Whose name is – get this – Jim White (Kevin Costner). Hackneyed unto death, right? Now what would you say if I told you it’s actually a true story? That’s right: God is a Disney screenwriter! Costars Maria Bello. — S.S.
MORTDECAI Rated R What Johnny Depp could’ve been doing instead of this: 1) building homes for Habitat for Humanity; 2) delivering parcels for UPS; 3) dealing dope out of a Twistee Treat. — S.S. A MOST VIOLENT YEAR **G@ Rated R Director/screenwriter J.C. Chandor’s new film stars Oscar Isaac, as Abel Morales, a hard-working immigrant battling the odds, and his social station, in New York City. Through persistence and discipline, he’s the head of the city’s fastest-growing heating-oil business. But he’s facing his biggest challenge: his delivery trucks are being hijacked at gunpoint by thugs who don’t even want the vehicles, just the heating oil. Fighting by Abel’s side are his wife, Anna (Jessica Chastain), and his friend and lawyer, Andrew (Albert Brooks). Belying its title, A Most Violent Year is surprisingly non-violent. This is a story not of bloodshed, but of emotional brutality in a world of urban and moral decay. To tell that tale, Chandor employs a subtle, slow-building tension, helped by atmospheric production design and cinematography. — Cameron Meier OLD FASHIONED Rated PG-13 Hey, here’s an alternative to Fifty Shades for your Valentine dollar! It’s an old-fashioned (what are the odds?) love story in which a young woman falls for an antique shop owner who’s a “reformed frat boy” – my favorite character description ever. This level-headed, unexploitative, anti-sensationalist Christian picture is a flick in which the chief narrative complication is its hero’s wholesome determination to keep coitus within the bounds of holy matrimony. Wow. — S.S. PADDINGTON Rated PG The comedy about a very clever bear living with a British family features Nicole Kidman, Hugh Bonneville, Julie Walters and Ben Whishaw as the voice of the Paddington. RED ARMY Rated PG If you like your true-sports pictures to have a sharper edge,
there’s always this documentary about the rise to dominance of the Russian ice-hockey team during the Cold War. Political analogies are explored, cruel coaching practices are denounced, and co-producer Werner Herzog gets to stand on semi-familiar ground by presenting the tale of a metaphorical bear who’ll rip your head off. (See what I did there?) Scott Feinberg of The Hollywood Reporter called the flick “one of the best documentaries that I ever seen.” Two days later, he was disappeared! — S.S. SEVENTH SON Rated PG-13 America finally admits en masse that Jeff Bridges has become an awful actor. Oh, I know you have his face on a T-shirt – along with a slogan claiming that he “abides.” But be honest: When was the last time you found him remotely believable as any character whatsoever – even “Jeff Bridges”? In this one, the scion of the Sea Hunt empire plays an ancient knight searching for an apprentice; apparently, he’s affecting a vocal delivery that’s equal parts Anglo pretension and talking with your mouth full. Porridge time at Hogwarts? Universal should be so lucky. What we’ve got here looks a lot less like Harry Potter and a lot more like Highlander. The second one. — S.S. THE SPONGEBOB MOVIE: SPONGE OUT OF WATER Rated PG Back in 1998, what did you think you’d be doing in 2015? If you say “Eagerly awaiting the second SpongeBob Squarepants movie,” then this is our week to howl. And if you never stopped loving Guns ’n Roses, then you’ll be tickled pink that “Welcome to the Jungle” is the soundtrack to the promos for this second foray into (and then away from) Bikini Bottom. I don’t have a problem with any of that – got no beef with Le Sponge, and I’m always in the mood for Axl. I’m worried that 2016 is going to bring a Teletubbies movie. With music by Candlebox. — S.S. STILL ALICE ***G Rated PG-13 Open your heart to this sad, beautiful film starring Julianne Moore as Alice, a linguistics teacher at Columbia University, who’s just turned 50. She’s getting forgetful. The diagnosis: Early-onset Alzheimer’s disease. The reaction: complete shock and terror – it’s rare for someone her age to be afflicted with the debilitating disease. Moore, who’s absolutely phenomenal, goes from energetic and vibrant to flustered and defeated. It’s a heartbreaking transition, progressing quickly for Alice and her family. Co-writers and directors Richard Glatzer and Wash Westmoreland give ample time to the substantial effect her condition has on her family. This movie punches you in the gut with inevitabilities and life’s unfairness, leaving us with tears in our eyes and the hope that it doesn’t happen to us. — D.H. STRANGE MAGIC Rated PG Once upon a time, calling something a musical meant you’d actually written some original songs for it. Now, all you do is mash a bunch of pop hits from the last six decades, and you have Strange Magic, which, on the basis of that description, sounds like an animated Moulin Rouge. But the comparison LucasFilm is making is actually to A Midsummer Night’s Dream, with fairies and other fantastic creatures in pursuit of a powerful potion. Not only is George Lucas the film’s executive producer, he gets a story credit. The voice cast includes Alan Cumming, Alfred Molina and Kristin Chenoweth. — S.S. THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING ***G Rated PG-13 This Stephen Hawking biopic, directed by James Marsh and starring Eddie Redmayne as the brilliant physicist, shows the progression of his motor neuron disease, which ravages his body but leaves his mind intact. The more Stephen’s disease progresses, the better the movie gets, mostly due to Redmayne’s Oscar-worthy performance. Costars Harry Lloyd, Charlie Cox and Maxine Peake. — D.H.
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A&E // ARTS
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DEEP PERSPECTIVES
Through Our Eyes since 2001 while he was still a college student at the University of North Florida. This year, Doles offers a fine art portfolio workshop, with artist Pablo Rivera and Jen Jones, at 11 a.m. on Saturday, Feb. 21; admission is $14.65. “I have gotten to know the majority of artists that participate each year pretty well,” effective tools used for meditation, rituals and Doles says. “So it’s like a family reunion to other ceremonies.” me. I’m always impressed to see new talent This is Princess Rashid’s third time come to the Ritz and I usually hear comments participating in Through Our Eyes. She from the public about what a hidden gem exhibited several pieces of her works in 2005 this place is. It’s worth a visit to explore the and 2006. This year, the Atlanta native is history of Jacksonville and the region at any exhibiting five paintings and screening a time of the year.” two-minute video documenting a large With founder and curator Stewart recently commission she did recently for an accounting retired as the Ritz’s museum administrator, firm in Tampa. At an artist’s talk to be held Toler will be taking on July 7, Rashid will over the planning discuss “Controlled and execution of the Spontaneity,” THROUGH OUR EYES: I WOULDN’T future Through Our concerning different TAKE NOTHING FOR MY JOURNEY Eyes exhibitions. layering methods. (AN ARTISTIC REVOLUTION) “This annual “Through Our Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., exhibit is a vehicle Eyes celebrates Downtown, ritzjacksonville.com that has given local living AfricanClosing reception is held 6-8 p.m. July 28 African-American American artists in artists the support our community,” and promotion they says Rashid. “It is need share their art with the community,” significant and important that institutions, Toler says. “Many of the artists have shared such as museums, provide a platform for with me that Through Our Eyes is the standard living artists to be recognized and their work by which they challenge themselves to grow presented to the public in the appropriate and take risks and is the exhibit they want to manner. This exhibit has consistently done debut their new work.” that over the years.” Kara Pound Jacksonville-born-and-bred painter Keith mail@folioweekly.com Doles has contributed work, off and on, to
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Ritz Theatre’s annual exhibit of works by local AfricanAmerican artists continues to show fresh, inventive art
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ocal artist Keith Doles’ colorful mixedmedia piece In Concert shows a line of revelers waiting to get into the Ritz Theatre & Museum for what one can only guess will be a night of music and merriment. Princess Simpson Rashid’s Blue Satellite, a journey through a sea of blues, greens, yellows and purples, is one of the last paintings she did in a series of poured acrylics that expounded on the relationship among science, abstract art and perception. These works are presented in Through Our Eyes: Wouldn’t Take Nothing for My Journey (An Artistic Revolution), Ritz Theatre & Museum’s current exhibit, which is on display through July 28. The annual show is Jacksonville’s longest-running visual art exhibit showcasing new works by African-American artists. “Lydia P. Stewart conceived, developed and curated the exhibit for 22 years, first at WJCT, and for the past 15 years at Ritz Theatre and Museum with my assistance,” says museum assistant Adonnica L. Toler. “The purpose has always been to nurture African-American artists and expand the audience of art lovers who support the artists and are enriched by their limitless creativity.” The theme for this year’s Through Our Eyes show features works by 20 local AfricanAmerican artists including Overstreet Ducasse, Melody Jackson, Traci Mims, Ernani Silva and Laurence Walden. The Northeast Florida-based artist Annelies M. Dykgraaf has been participating in Through Our Eyes since 2004, through her association as a founder of the JCAAA (Jacksonville Consortium of African American Artists). “I am the token real ‘African’ — not African-American — of the group by being born in Nigeria and living there for 18 years,” Dykgraaf explains. “Always look deeper than skin color to get to know someone and their history and the journey of their life. There is a whole lot more to a person than the surface you see.” Dykgraaf has several pieces in the show. Her linocut, The Harvest, inspired by a family trip to Guatemala, draws on the similarities of third-world cultures with rich history. “It has Mayan, African and religious symbols,” she says of the print. “For centuries, candles of different colors have been burned to attract desired emotions, material wealth or karma. Candles can be one of the most 24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 18-24, 2015
1) Princess Rashid, Abacus: The History of Counting, acrylic on canvas, 40˝x120˝ 2) Keith Doles, In Concert, mixed media on canvas, 18˝x24˝ 3) Annelies Dykgraaf, The Harvest, linocut, 20˝x24˝ 4) Princess Rashid, Black Raven, acrylic on canvas, 48˝x36˝
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THROUGH OUR EYES SCHEDULED EVENTS (All held at The Ritz Theatre & Museum)
Artists’ market is held from 10 a.m.-8 p.m.; Keith Doles, Pablo Rivera and Jen Jones present the artists’ workshop, “Fine Art Portfolio: Getting Your Work Ready for Galleries and Collectors,” from 11 a.m.-1 p.m. on Feb. 21; $14.65. Melody Jackson presents the gallery talk, “How I Paint with Constant Vertigo,” from 6-8 p.m. on March 17. Artists’ market is held from 10 a.m.-8 p.m.; Alisha Lewis and Olice Williams offer an art class, from 10:30 a.m.-1 p.m. on March 21. Gallery talk, TBD, from 6-8 p.m. on March 31. The PRIDE Book Club discusses Maya Angelou’s I Wouldn’t Take Nothing for My Journey Now, from 3-5 p.m. on April 11.
Melody Jackson presents the art class “Masterpiece on a Plate,” from 10:30 a.m.-1 p.m. on April 18. Richard K. Schafer is featured in the gallery talk “The Art of Collecting,” 6-8 p.m. on April 21. A James Weldon Johnson Birthday Celebration is held from 6-8 p.m. on June 16. Ernani Silva presents the art class “Art to Heal” from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. on June 20. Princess Rashid is featured in the gallery talk, “Controlled Spontaneity – Acrylic Painting,” from 6-8 p.m. on July 7. All events are subject to change; admission prices vary per event.
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PERFORMANCE
A&E // ARTS & EVENTS
DANISH STRING QUARTET The celebrated Scandinavian ensemble performs, 8 p.m. Feb. 21 at Episcopal Church of the Good Shepherd, 1100 Stockton St., Riverside, 389-6222, $30; $10 students, riversidefinearts.org. SOUNDS OF THE SYMPHONY Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra is joined by narrator Sameer Patel in a kid-geared concert of music and storytelling, 3 p.m. Feb. 22 at T-U Center’s Jacoby Hall, $7-$24, 354-3578, jaxsymphony.org. CLASSICAL SHOWCASE AT UNF Dr. Gordon Brock conducts UNF Wind Symphony Concerto Showcase Concert, 7:30 Feb. 25 at University of North Florida’s Lazzara Hall, 1 UNF Dr., Southside, 620-2878, $10, unf.edu/coas/music/calendar.
ROSENCRANTZ AND GUILDENSTERN ARE DEAD Flagler College’s Theatre Arts Department, with the St. Johns County Center for the Arts at St. Augustine High School, present Tom Stoppard’s Tony-winning play that’s a comically existential behind-the-scenes view of Hamlet, at 7:30 p.m. Feb. 20, 21, 27 and 28 and 2 p.m. Feb. 22 and March 1 at Flagler College’s Lewis Auditorium, 14 Granada St., $15; $5 students with ID, 826-8600, flagler.universitytickets.com. STETSON KENNEDY READINGS The Readers Theater present Stetson Kennedy: Slave & Civil Rights Narratives, dramatic readings from Kennedy’s works including The Florida Slave and Palmetto County, at 2 p.m. Feb. 21 at Mandarin Branch Library, 3330 Kori Road, 262-5201, jpl.coj.net. MAD COWFORD’S SHOWCASE SHOWDOWN Atlantic Beach MASTERS OF ILLUSION: BELIEVE THE IMPOSSIBLE Based Experimental Theatre presents the local comedy improv on the award-winning TV series, the magic and illusion show group, 7 and 9 p.m. Feb. 21 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, features sleight-of-hand experts, escape artists, comedy, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, $12; reservations only, illusionists and audience participation, 7 p.m. Feb. 22 at The 249-7177, abettheatre.com. Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $$25-$55, floridatheatre.com. ARTS OR CRAFTS The comedy, about censorship and snobbery in the arts, is staged at 7:30 p.m. Feb. 19, 20 and 21 and 2 p.m. Feb. 21 at Jacksonville University’s Swisher Theater, 2800 University Blvd. N., Arlington, $10; $5 seniors, military, students and kids younger than 17; not recommended for those younger than 13. 256-7386, arts.ju.edu. DANCING PROS: LIVE! Alan Thicke hosts, Karina Smirnoff judges; favorites from Dancing with the Stars, So You Think You Can Dance, American Idol and The Voice perform, 7 p.m. Feb. 22 at T-U Center’s Moran Theater, 300 Water St., Downtown, 442-2929, $37.50$132.50, artistseriesjax.org. REIGNITING THE REVOLUTION Writer-director Tonia Bell’s Reigniting the Revolution: The Giants Whose Shoulders We Stand Upon, honoring the Montford Point Marines, the first African-Americans in the U.S. Marine Corps, is staged at 3 and 6:30 p.m. Feb. 15 at Ritz Flagler College’s Theatre Arts Department and St. Johns Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, County Center for the Arts at St. Augustine High School 632-5555, $33, ticketmaster.com. present ROSENCRANTZ AND GUILDENSTERN ARE DEAD on Feb. A LESSON BEFORE DYING Romulus Linney’s 20, 21, 22, 27 and 28 at Flagler College’s Lewis Auditorium. adaptation of Ernest Gaines’ novel about racial injustice in the 1940s is staged at 8 p.m. Feb. 19, 20 and 21 PLASTIC CUP BOYZ Comedians Joey Wells, Will “Spank” and 2 p.m. Feb. 22 at Players By the Sea, 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Horton and Na’im Lynn are on at 7:30 p.m. Feb. 19 at Ritz Beach, 249-0289, $23; $20 seniors, military and students; Theatre & Museum, 632-5555, $24, ritzjacksonville.com. through Feb. 28, playersbythesea.org. STANDING OVATION TOUR Comedians Sommore, Tony GREASE Amelia Community Theatre stages the TonyRock, Gary Owen and Huggy Lowdown perform at 8 p.m. winning Broadway musical about 1950s high school life Feb. 20 at T-U Center’s Moran Theater, 633-6110, $49-$99, and love at 8 p.m. Feb. 19, 20 and 21 and 2 p.m. Feb. 22 at ticketmaster.com. 207/209 Cedar St., Fernandina Beach, 261-6749, $20; $10 HOWIE MANDEL Comedy fave, and America’s Got Talent students; through February, ameliacommunitytheatre.org. judge, Mandel appears at 8 p.m. Feb. 19 at The Florida TRANSITIONS A production of two one-act plays, about seniors Theatre, 355-2787, $39.50-$75, floridatheatre.com. in transition, is staged at 7:30 p.m. Feb. 20 and 21 at Amelia CHRIS MONTY Monty performs at 8:04 and 10:10 p.m. Feb. Musical Playhouse, 1955 Island Walkway, Fernandina Beach, 20 and 21 at Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach 277-3455, $15; $10 students; ameliamusicalplayhouse.com. Blvd., $8-$15, 646-4277, jacksonvillecomedy.com. IN THE MOOD A tribute to ’30s and ’40s hits, with vocalists, THOMAS DALE Comedian Dale is on 8 p.m. Feb. 19 and 7 dancers and full orchestra, 7 p.m. Feb. 21 at Times-Union and 9 p.m. Feb. 20 and 21 at the Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Center’s Moran Theater, 442-2929, $27-$47, artistseriesjax.org. Rd., Mandarin, $15-$18, 292-4242, comedyzone.com. GROWING UP Latoya Renee presents the gospel-play, MICHAEL PANZECA Funnyman Panzeca appears at 7:30 featuring Worshippers Victorious, at 7 p.m. Feb. 21 at Ritz and 10 p.m. Feb. 20 and 10:30 p.m. Feb. 21 at Latitude 360, Theatre & Museum, 807-2010, $15-$20 advance; $25 at the 10370 Philips Hwy., Southside, 365-5555, latitude360.com. door, ritzjacksonville.com.
COMEDY
DON QUIXOTE The Russian National Ballet Theatre dances a program based on Miguel de Cervantes’ novel, Don Quixote de la Mancha, 7 p.m. Feb. 22 at Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts, 283 College Dr., Orange Park, 276-6750, $16-$48, thcenter.org. A TOBY SHOW The comedy is staged 8 p.m. Feb. 20 and 21 and 3 p.m. Feb. 22 at Orange Park Community Theatre, 2900 Moody Ave., 276-2599, $15, $10 for students, opct.org. BUTTERFLIES ARE FREE Lisa Whelchel (The Facts of Life) stars in the Tony-winning comedy about a woman who befriends a blind neighbor. Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menu is featured; Feb. 18-March 22, at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 641-1212, alhambrajax.com.
CLASSICAL, CHOIR & JAZZ
THE RITZ CHAMBER PLAYERS The celebrated ensemble performs Tragedy Toward Peace at 7:30 p.m. Feb. 18 at Main Library’s Hicks Auditorium, 630-2353, jplmusic.blogspot.com. MURRAY HILL JAZZ The West Jax Jazz Ensemble appears 7:30 p.m. Feb. 20 at Murray Hill Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., 388-7807, $8-$12, murrayhilltheatre.com. MARCUS ROBERTS TRIO Celebrated jazz pianist (and Jacksonville native) Roberts performs at 8 p.m. Feb. 20 at The Florida Theatre, 355-2787, $25-$55, floridatheatre.com. THE REBIRTH BRASS BAND, FLOW TRIBE Grammy-winning, New Orleans-based band performs 8 p.m. Feb. 20 at Ritz Theatre & Museum, 632-5555, $34-$39, ritzjacksonville.com. GERSHWIN CONCERTO IN F Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra performs Gershwin’s Concerto in F, and works by Barber and Schumann, 8 p.m. Feb. 20 and 21 at T-U Center’s Jacoby Hall, $25-$72, 354-3578, jaxsymphony.org. AL DI MEOLA Legendary jazz guitarist performs 7 p.m. Feb. 21 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., 209-0399, $37-$47, pvconcerthall.com. MUSIC OF ROBERT W. SMITH Award-winning composer Smith conducts the First Coast Wind Ensemble and the Jacksonville Private Schools Honor Band in a concert featuring his original works, 7:30 p.m. Feb. 21 at Jacksonville University’s Terry Concert Hall, 256-7386, fcwe.org.
CALLS & WORKSHOPS
“HAIRSPRAY” AUDITIONS Theatre Jacksonville auditions for the camp-classic musical at 1 p.m. Feb. 21 at 2032 San Marco Blvd., San Marco, 396-4425, theatrejax.com. AUDITIONS AT LIMELIGHT The theater seeks six men and four women for its production of an adult-themed comedy No Sex Please, We’re British. Auditions 6 p.m. Feb. 23 at 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, 825-1164, limelight-theatre.org. HISTORIC PRESERVATION AWARDS NOMINATIONS Jacksonville Historic Preservation Commission takes nominations for its annual awards ceremony recognizing projects and services that promote area historic preservation. Categories: Heritage Education/Publication/Film, Archaeological/ Historic Landscape, Residential Rehabilitation, Commercial or Institutional Rehabilitation, Architecturally Compatible New Construction, Preservation Projects & Services by individuals or organizations and Great Save (projects that save a historic building from demolition). Completed nomination forms with required support documents must be submitted by March 2. For forms and details, go to coj.net/preservationawards. ABET ACTING WORKSHOP Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre offers Dave Alan Thomas’ workshop, “An Actor Begins: Duet Scenes,” Feb. 22 and March 1 and 8 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, 249-7177, $70-$80, register at abettheatre.com. COMMUNITY FOUNDATION GRANTS The Community Foundation of Northeast Florida accepts submissions for Childcare Providers in Duval County grant (deadline Feb. 26), Art Ventures (deadline May 15) and Dr. JoAnn Crisp-Ellert Fund (deadline May 15). For details, go to jaxcf.org. POSTER CONTEST FOR STUDENTS Students ages 4-6, 7-8 and 9-12 may submit artwork for the Concert on the Green poster contest, themed “A Celebration of Symphonic in an Outdoor Setting.” Deadline is Feb. 27; concertonthegreen.com. JAX JAZZ FEST SEEKS ARTISTS Jacksonville Jazz Festival calls for artists to submit samples of work and a statement for consideration for its 2015 poster; jaxjazzfest.com. CANDY MAKING WORKSHOPS Sweet Pete’s offers weekly
FEBRUARY 18-24, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25
A&E // ARTS & EVENTS and monthly candy-making classes for all ages at 400 N. Hogan St., Downtown, 376-7161, sweetpetescandy.com.
ART WALKS & MARKETS
COMMUNITY FARMERS & ARTS MARKET Baked goods, preserves, honey, crafts, art, hand-crafted jewelry, 4-7 p.m. every Wed., 4300 St. Johns Ave., Riverside, 607-9935. JAXSON’S NIGHT MARKET Street food vendors, craft beer, local farmers, artisans and craftsmen, 5:30-9 p.m. Feb. 19 at Hemming Park, Downtown, facebook.com/JaxsonsNightMarket. NORTH BEACHES ART WALK Galleries open 5-9 p.m. Feb. 19 from Sailfish Drive in Atlantic Beach to Neptune Beach and Town Center, 753-9594, nbaw.org. DOWNTOWN FRIDAY MARKET Arts and crafts and local produce, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. every Fri. at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 353-1188. WINTER ARTS MARKET Local and regional art, food artists and a farmers market are featured 10 a.m.-1 p.m. every Sat. under the Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com.
MUSEUMS
AMELIA ISLAND MUSEUM OF HISTORY 233 S. Third St., Fernandina Beach, 261-7378, ameliamuseum.org. The exhibit, Portraits of American Beach, is currently on display. It Came from the Attic: Collections celebrates the art of collecting. AMERICAN BEACH MUSEUM American Beach Community Center, 1600 Julia St., Fernandina Beach, 277-7960, nassau countyfl.com/facilities. The Sands of Time: An American Beach Story, an exhibit celebrating the beach as well as the life and activism of MaVynee Betsch, “The Beach Lady” is on display. CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummer.org. Rothko to Richter: Mark-Making in Abstract Painting from the Collection of Preston H. Haskell, on display through April 22. “Talks & Tea: The Art of Abstract Expressionism,” 1:30 p.m. Feb. 18 and 19; $6. 450 Years of French History in Florida, through Feb. 22. All Together: The Sculpture of Chaim Gross, through Oct. 4. British Watercolors runs through Nov. 29. KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992, rain.org/~karpeles/jaxfrm.html. A Collection of Works: Exhibition in Oils by Leilani Leo is on display through Feb. 27. LIGHTNER MUSEUM 75 King St., St. Augustine, 824-2874, lightnermuseum.org. Curator-led monthly tours, 10 a.m. every first Wed. Thirty paintings by 19th-century artist Felix F. de Crano are shown through March 1. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, 366-6911, mocajacksonville.com. WHITE, featuring 11 20th-century and contemporary artists working with the color white, is on display through April 26. Erica Mendoza: Visual Love Letters, through March. Project Atrium: Angela Strassheim, through March 1. John Hee Taek Chae, featured artist in the sixth annual Barbara Ritzman Devereux Visiting Artist Workshop, displays work in MOCA’s UNF Gallery through April 26. MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank, 396-6674, themosh.org. Odyssey’s SHIPWRECK! Pirates & Treasure, through March. Skies Over Jacksonville, a live star show, screens 2 p.m. daily in the Planetarium. ST. JOHN’S CATHEDRAL 256 E. Church St., Downtown, 3565507, jaxcathedral.org. Fabricio Farias’ Grace is on display.
GALLERIES
44 MONROE ART STUDIO & GALLERY 44 Monroe St., Downtown, 881-0209. The exhibit Look & Sea, featuring works by Dana Hood and Jerri Roszak, is on display through February. ADELE GRAGE CULTURAL CENTER 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-5828. An opening reception for Industrial Naturalism, by painter Randy Rhodes, is held 5-9 p.m. Feb. 19. ALEXANDER BREST GALLERY Jacksonville University, 2800 N. University Blvd., Arlington, 256-7371. An opening reception for Omphalos, works by multimedia artist Lauren Frances Evans and photographer Jensen Hande, is 5-7 p.m. Feb. 19. The exhibit runs through March 18. An opening reception for FIEA Game Art, works based on interactive game design, is 5-7 p.m. Feb. 19. It runs through March 18. ANASTASIA BOOKS 81C King St., St. Augustine, 824-8460. Kenneth Barrett’s exhibit Time Frames is on display. ARCHWAY GALLERY & FRAMING 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-2222. Vicki Lennon’s works show through February. THE ART CENTER II 229 N. Hogan St., Downtown, 355-1757. Shadows and Light is on display through March 9. Lauren
JACKSONVILLE SCIENCE FESTIVAL is Feb. 19 and 20 at Jacksonville Zoo and Feb. 21 at Museum of Science & History. 26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 18-24, 2015
Humphrey is the featured artist. BUTTERFIELD GARAGE ART GALLERY 137 King St., St. Augustine, 825-4577. Works by painter Tanya Englehard and sculptor Bruce Carr exhibit through March 3. CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530, flagler.edu/crispellert. Re-Riding History: From the Southern Plains to Matanzas Bay is on display through February. FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928. The Mermaid Show is on display through April 1. FLORIDA MINING GALLERY 5300 Shad Rd., Southside, 535-7252. Water Appears and Disappears, works by multidisciplinary artist Geoff Mitchell, through February. THE HIVE Crossfit Pablo Beach, 705 N. Third St., Jax Beach, 616-7116. A reception for an exhibit of works by Amber R. Green, Adam Brett, Nico and Mobarick, with live music, painting and auction, is 8 p.m. Feb. 20. PLUM GALLERY 10 Aviles St., St. Augustine, 825-0069. An exhibit of works by Gary Borse, Eileen Corse and Rosamond Parrish displays through February. RITZ THEATRE & MUSEUM 829 N. Davis St., 632-5555, ritzjacksonville.com. Through Our Eyes 2015: Wouldn’t Take Nothing for My Journey (An Artistic Revolution), works of 20 local African-American artists, is on display through July 28. Keith Doles, Pablo Rivera and Jen Jones hold a workshop, “Fine Art Portfolio: Getting Your Work Ready for Galleries and Collectors,” 11 a.m.-1 p.m. Feb. 21. SHAFFER GALLERY 35 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine, 8068858. Mary St. Germain’s works display through February. SOUTH GALLERY FSCJ’s South Campus, 11901 Beach Blvd., 646-2023. Awards and opening reception for Duval Senior High Exhibition & Northeast Florida Art Education Association Exhibit is 6 p.m. Feb. 24. The exhibit is on display through March 11. SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 201 N. Hogan St., Ste. 100, Downtown, 438-4358, southlightgallery.com. Sara Pedigo is featured through March 4. Picturing Italy II, works by UNF Department of Art & Design Study Abroad Program, through February. STELLERS GALLERY at San Marco 1409 Atlantic Blvd., 3969492. Works by painter Megan Cosby are currently on display. ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., 824-2310, staaa.org. Figures and Faces runs through March 1. ST. AUGUSTINE VISITOR INFORMATION CENTER 10 W. Castillo Dr., 825-1000, staugustine-450.com. The First Coast Through the Eyes of Masters features St. Augustine-themed works by 19th and early 20th century painters. UNIVERSITY OF NORTH FLORIDA GALLERY 1 UNF Drive, 620-2534. Art + Design Student Juried Annual Exhibition is on display through Feb. 27.
EVENTS
MLK SCHOLARSHIP LUNCHEON Author Steve Pemberton discusses “Creating Diversity to Bolster Productivity,” 11:30 a.m. Feb. 24 at University of North Florida’s University Center, $30-$1,000, 620-2878. ANIMAL RESCUE FUNDRAISER Pouring from the Heart: A Wine Tasting Benefit for Ayla’s Acres No-Kill Animal Rescue, featuring wines, hors d’oeuvres, a raffle and a meet-and-greet with actress-animal advocate Loretta Swit, is 5:30-7:30 p.m. Feb. 19 at Amistad: A Fair Trade Store, 4255 A1A S., Ste. 10, St. Augustine, $20, 547-2446, proceeds benefit Ayla’s Acres’ programs, amistadstaugustine.com. FISH FRY & BOOK SALE Durkeeville Historical Society holds its monthly event, noon-3:30 p.m. Feb. 21 at 1293 W. 19th St., Springfield, 598-9567, durkeevillehistoricalsociety.com. JAX SCIENCE FEST The third annual Jacksonville Science Festival has interactive booths (made by kids in public, private, charter and home-school groups), Big Science with MOSH, food trucks and a Chalk Walk, 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Feb. 19 and 20 at Jacksonville Zoo, 370 Zoo Parkway, Northside and 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Feb. 21 at Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank, jacksonvillesciencefestival.org. AMELIA ISLAND BOOK FESTIVAL The 14th annual festival is held Feb. 19, 20 and 21, with workshops, a luncheon, teen fest, kids zone and author meet-and-greets in Fernandina Beach. Details, schedule and tickets at ameliaislandbookfestival.org. MORRIS DEES AT UNF Trial lawyer-author Dees discusses “With Justice for All in a Changing America,” 6:30 p.m. Feb. 19 at University of North Florida’s University Center, 620-2475, free e-tickets at unf.edu.lectures. LIBRARY ANNIVERSARY Clay County Headquarters Library celebrates its 10th anniversary with entertainment, unveiling of a library quilt, kids’ crafts and refreshments, 10 a.m.-noon Feb. 21 at 1895 Town Center Blvd., Fleming Island, 278-3722. BALLOTS & BREWS Craft beers, food trucks, live music by Flagship Romance, voter registration and a chance to meet and ask the City Council candidates questions, 6-9 p.m. Feb. 18 at Intuition Ale Works, 720 King St., Riverside, ballotsandbrews.com. TOASTMASTERS CLUB The international organization meets 6 p.m. Feb. 24 at Ritz Theatre & Museum, 632-5555. BALLET DANCER BOOK-SIGNING American Ballet Theater dancer Misty Copeland signs copies of her book Firebird, 2-4 p.m. Feb. 22 at The Performers Academy, 3674 Beach Blvd., Southside, 322-7672, monetballet.eventbrite.com. COMMUNICATIONS INTERNSHIP FAIR The fair is held 8 a.m.-1 p.m. Feb. 19 at University of North Florida’s Student Union Ballroom, 620-2958, unf.edu/careerservices/ employers/Posting_Jobs-Employers.aspx. AMELIA RIVER CRUISES Tours of Cumberland Island and Beach Creek, Mon.-Sat. from Amelia River Cruises, 1 N. Front St., Fernandina Beach, 261-9972; ameliarivercruises.com. BRIDGE IN A DAY Introductory program covers basics 9:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m. Feb. 28 at Jacksonville School of Bridge, 3353 Washburn Rd., 859-8381, LBIAD@gmail.com.
A&E // MUSIC
SMOOTH AS TENNESSEE WHISKEY
From rowdy country punks to soulful Memphis ambassadors, Lucero glides over their growing pains
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collaborative, ensemble effort with a more ging gracefully isn’t easy for punk rockers. cohesive sound. We’re stoked about that.” Those tattoos stretch, your hair falls out, Even though they’re reconnecting with that leather jacket doesn’t fit anymore, their past, Lucero has definitely more grown and the grind of eating and drinking on the up. Frontman Ben Nichols morphed in the cheap finally catches up to you. And that late 2009s from a skinny singer to a bona fide doesn’t even touch artistic evolution, which heartthrob, and the band plays a handful of in many hardcore punk circles is tantamount local shows every year to raise money for to heresy. local hospitals and music education centers. Good thing Lucero doesn’t give a shit about any of that. Birthed in Memphis in the late ’90s, When asked about the irony of growing into community leaders, Stubblefield laughs, “I the blustery, beer-soaked quartet cranked out never even thought of it that way. But we get seven albums of country-fried rock ’n’ roll in to go be ambassadors for this whole Memphis six years. But 2009’s 1372 Overton Park and music thing: How cool is that?” 2012’s Women & Work, twin embraces of fiery And even though the soul and sultry R&B, felt like band still gets drenched in a revelation, both on record beer every time they play and in real life: Lucero had LUCERO, RYAN BINGHAM Louisville, Stubblefield finally figured out how to and TWIN FORKS says their hard-partying embrace the hometown it 7 p.m. Feb. 21 at Freebird Live, reputation has been worked so hard to escape. Jax Beach, advance tickets $26; somewhat tamed. “As we’ve “We were kids when the $30 day of show, freebirdlive.com aged, so has our crowd, so band started up,” Lucero it’s calmed down a little,” bassist John C. Stubblefield he laughs. “Things still get a good bit raucous, tells Folio Weekly in a phone interview. “No but our shows aren’t quite the baptismal matter where you’re from or what your celebrations they once were, with all the beer. upbringing is, you rebel against your parents and say, ‘I wish I was from anywhere other than You get to a point where you’re like, ‘Hey dude? here.’ We all grew up wishing we were Southern This is electric — do you want to be the guy shutting the whole show down because our California skater kids, but over the years, as guitars won’t work anymore?’ Also, if you just we dug deeper below the surface stuff that was waited in line with 800 people for an hour to there your whole life, we went, ‘Holy crap — get a beer, don’t spray it on me? Where I come look at all this great music from Memphis, from, that’s alcohol abuse. Drink that beer!” from Sun to Stax to Hi Records to Royal There’s no doubt that Stubblefield, Nichols, Studios. That is Memphis, that is our lives.’” Brian Venable, Roy Berry and Rick Steff still Of course, releasing an album on a major love to tour. After 17 years, they’re still playing label and polishing off the rougher edges of your sound will always alienate some diehard nearly 200 shows a year, and their upcoming fans. But those Lucero lifers will be thrilled to stint, billed as a co-headline affair with Ryan hear that the band is following up last year’s Bingham, promises the kind of creative midmammoth Live in Atlanta four-disc set with career setup confident bands can do. “It’s 22 another rootsy studio record, for which writing shows, so we’ll flip-flop Ryan closing and us and pre-production occurred in January and closing, 11 nights and 11 nights,” Stubblefield recording will commence in April. says. “Maybe we’ll even be playing some songs “Last fall’s By The Seat of Our Pants Tour together by the time we get to Florida.” gave us the chance to reexamine our roots Stubblefield adds that going on the road is because we were doing acoustic sets to open for the perfect antidote to the weeks holed up in ourselves,” Stubblefield says. “The new album the studio for 12 hours a day. “Coming out of will have more acoustic guitar and upright bass, that creative period, we get to play new tunes which is why I started out playing in the band.” and flesh out new arrangements to see how Stubblefield says the recording process will they work in the real world,” he says. “That also hark back to Lucero’s beginnings. “We’re live release is what we’re doing it all for. It’s doing it old-school to get more stuff off the very rewarding.” floor, so to speak, with all of us playing together Nick McGregor rather than tracking individual parts — a more mail@folioweekly.com FEBRUARY 18-24, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27
A&E // MUSIC
ELECTRIC COMPANY
Anders Osborne and North Mississippi Allstars join forces for some high-voltage blues-rock
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28 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 18-24, 2015
s one of the hardest-working harrdest st workingg m musicians usicians on the planet, Sweden-born Osborne has collaborated with a riverboatload of artists. He’s worked with Galactic founding member Stanton Moore and slide master Sonny Landreth. Osborne has toured with the forever-jammy Phil Lesh and written hit songs for the decidedly unjammy Tim McGraw. He has a side project with Jacksonville’s swamp cracker-crooner JJ Grey, and at a holiday show in December, Gulf-and-Western balladeer Jimmy Buffett joined Osborne onstage for a few acoustic tunes. Needless to say, Osborne’s range is far-reaching. “I learn something from everybody I work with,” he says in a phone call from his adopted hometown New Orleans, during a brief respite from touring. “I think I can have a musical conversation with just about anyone, but if there was someone I didn’t click with, I probably wouldn’t say so.” Aside from collaborations, Osborne has amassed an expansive solo catalog. For nearly three decades, the now-48-year-old has been writing songs that are always adventurous and always honest, sometimes brutally so. Whether crooning soulfully on Kimbrough. The Dickinsons formed The stripped-down albums, like 2007’s Coming North Mississippi Allstars in 1996 and built a Down, or spitting fire over cannon-shot blues, reputation for raucous, down-home roots and like on 2012’s Black Eye Galaxy, Osborne’s blues music. Over the years, N.M.A.’s brand of vocals are always on target. His latest album, blues has nabbed them three Grammy nods. 2013’s Peace — raucous, sprawling, mostly The Dickinson brothers have a laundry up-tempo blues — earned rave reviews from list of co-conspirators. Luther Dickinson has critics. In early January, when he entered the toured with Black Crowes, and recently joined studio to record a follow-up, Osborne brought up with a group of Southern balladeers calling a staggering 80 songs. He’s known to be themselves the Southern Soul Assembly. The prolific, but Osborne admits this output isn’t group, comprising Dickinson, Mark Broussard, typical. “Each record has its own process,” he JJ Grey and Osborne, played a short tour says. “I wrote a tremendous amount of songs together. Osborne says the four of them will try for this album, so we immediately scrapped to get in the studio together this year. The about 50 of them. Then we went to work on group started a few tunes on tour. “Writing is the best 30 and cut it down to the best 10 or pretty easy when we get 12.” The album, Spacedust together,” Osborne says. and Ocean Views, NORTH MISSISSIPPI ALLSTARS “We’ll probably take a is being produced by & ANDERS OSBORNE week in the studio and Mark Howard (Bob 7 p.m. Feb. 19, Ponte Vedra Concert write all the songs then. Dylan’s Time Out of Hall, 1050 A1A N., $30 (SRO), I think it’ll be pretty Mind), and Osborne says pvconcerthall.com seamless.” those dozen or so songs Meanwhile, Osborne all have a “meditative” and The North Mississippi quality. “It’s got more of a Allstars are hitting the road together for a laid-back vibe to it than the last record.” U.S. tour of 25 stops, kicking it off at Ponte Given his noted flexibility, Osborne’s latest Vedra Concert Hall. “The tour has been on collaboration — a co-headlining tour with the table for a long time. The timing was just the blues and roots ambassadors The North right,” Osborne says. The artists are calling this Mississippi Allstars (N.M.A.) — won’t require particular project North Mississippi Osborne, him to stretch too much. Indeed, N.M.A.’s or N.M.O. Osborne says they’ll trade sets. “We’ll latest album, 2013’s World Boogie is Coming, be playing sets of my stuff, their stuff, and then shares a good deal of DNA with Osborne’s some things that we’ve written together.” Peace; singer-guitarist Luther Dickinson has And though he’s been advised to be tightproved himself just as musically pliable over lipped on the details, he hints that N.M.O. the years. Osborne says that after years of will be releasing some music together in the talking about it with Dickinson, a longtime near future. “We’ll be mixing it up quite a bit,” friend and sometime bandmate, the two finally Osborne says about the project. “We’ll do some found some time to dedicate to putting a raw blues stuff, some traditional New Orleans project together. Osborne says he always loves music, early ’70s funky stuff. We’re just going to play with N.M.A. “They have a wonderful to mix it up, organically.” But, as is the case for sense of playfulness on stage, but also a vast each of his seemingly infinite musical ventures, knowledge of their musical heritage.” Osborne isn’t likely to grow too attached. “I’m Jim Dickinson, father to Luther and not trying to change the world with this stuff,” N.M.A. drummer Cody Dickinson, played he says. “I’m always just trying to work really piano with Dylan and The Rolling Stones, hard to make a good record.” among others, and the boys grew up Matthew B. Shaw surrounded by icons of North Mississippi mail@folioweekly.com blues like R.L. Burnside and Junior
Indie electro-rap badass BOYFRIEND (pictured) performs with TOMBOI and HEAVY FLOW on Feb. 25 at 1904 Music Hall.
LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK
SPADE McQUADE 6 p.m. Feb. 18 and 25 at Fionn MacCool’s Irish Pub, Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 176, Downtown, 374-1247. DENNY BLUE 6 p.m. Feb. 18 and 25 at Paula’s Beachside Grill, 6896 A1A S., Crescent Beach, 471-3463. BRIDGING THE MUSIC SHOWCASE 7 p.m. Feb. 18 at 1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St., Downtown, $13. BILLY BOWERS 7 p.m. Feb. 18 at Ragtime Tavern, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877. SWEAR AND SHAKE, SEA FLOOR EXPLOSIVES, WILLOWWACKS 8 p.m. Feb. 18 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $10. BOOGIE FREAKS 10 p.m. Feb. 18 at The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 264-0611. Palatka Bluegrass Festival: DAILEY & VINCENT, RHONDA VINCENT & the RAGE, DOYLE LAWSON & QUICKSILVER, RUSSELL MOORE & IIIRD TYME OUT, THE SPINNEY BROTHERS, ALAN SIBLEY & the MAGNOLIA RAMBLERS, BOXCARS, JIMMY FORTUNE, DRY BRANCH FIRE SQUAD, THE GRASCALS, THE GIBSON BROTHERS, MARTY RAYBON & FULL CIRCLE, THE LITTLE ROY & LIZZY SHOW Feb. 19-21, Rodeheaver Boys Ranch, 380 Boys Ranch Road, 386-328-1281, $15-$90, adamsbluegrass.com; camping available, proceeds benefit the Rodeheaver Boys Ranch programs. THE SPLINTERS 7 p.m. Feb. 19, Ragtime Tavern. NORTH MISSISSIPPI ALLSTARS & ANDERS OSBORNE 7 p.m. Feb. 19 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., 209-0399, $30 (SRO). HANS YORK 7:30 p.m. Feb. 19 at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., San Marco, 352-7008, $10. BE EASY 7:30 p.m. Feb. 19 at Latitude 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., Southside, 365-5555. FULL SERVICE, ROOT OF ALL 8 p.m. Feb. 19 at Café Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine, 460-9311, $6. JASON MRAZ 8 p.m. Feb. 19 at Times-Union Center’s Moran Theater, 300 W. Water St., Downtown, $24-$74, 633-6110. GURF MORLIX 7:30 p.m. Feb. 20, Mudville Music Room, $15. JOHN HAMMOND, WILLIE GREEN, RICK LEVY 7 p.m. Feb. 20, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, $27-$30. NEW KINGSTON, THROUGH THE ROOTS, PRIME TREES 8 p.m. Feb. 20, Jack Rabbits, $10. DARRELL RAE 8 p.m. Feb. 20, Latitude 360. BOOGIE FREAKS 10 p.m. Feb. 20 & 21, Ragtime Tavern. CIRCLE OF INFLUENCE 10 p.m. Feb. 20 & 21, The Roadhouse. DALTON STANLEY BAND 10 p.m. Feb. 20 & 21 at Lynch’s Irish Pub, 541 First St. N., Jax Beach, 249-5181. HEADBANG FOR THE HIGHWAY 5 p.m. Feb. 21, 1904 Music Hall, $12. MAGIC MIKE MALE REVUE 6 p.m. Feb. 21 at Mavericks at The Landing, Downtown, 356-1110, $20-$30. THE HODSDONS 6 p.m. Feb. 21 at Harvest Ministries, 2550 Fouraker Road, Northside, 422-3163, $10. LUCERO, RYAN BINGHAM, TWIN FORKS 7 p.m. Feb. 21 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 246-2473, advance $26; $30 day of. DENNIS DeYOUNG & Music of Styx 8 p.m. Feb. 21 at Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $39-$79. BLOWFLY, TWINKI, TOUGH JUNKIE, HEAVY FLOW 8 p.m. Feb. 21, Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown, 677-2977, $10-$12. CHUCK NASH 8 p.m. Feb. 21, Fionn MacCool’s Irish Pub, Jacksonville Landing. JUNKYARD FLASH, BRAIDED SUN, DANCING WITH GHOSTS, SUMMERS DIVIDE 8 p.m. Feb. 21, Jack Rabbits, $5. NEIL ALDAY & FURTHER SOUTH, DAVID LAREAU & the
COPPERPOTS, BIG SHOALS, SIX TIME LOSERS 8 p.m. Feb. 21 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, $10, underbellylive.com. THE KATZ DOWNSTAIRS 8:30 p.m. Feb. 21, Latitude 360. THE SKINNY CD RELEASE 6 p.m. Feb. 22 at Limelight Theatre, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, 825-1164, $5. PLAN B 7 p.m. Feb. 22, Ragtime Tavern. THE BUNNY THE BEAR, ROSEDALE, HYDRA, KYLE COLBY 7 p.m. Feb. 22, Jack Rabbits, $10. MAGIC!, SIDEREAL 7 p.m. Feb. 22, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, advance $22.50; $25 day of (SRO). AMBER 8 p.m. Feb. 22 at Hamburger Mary’s, 3333 Beach Blvd., Southside, 551-2048, $15 advance; $25 day of; $50 VIP. R.L. GRIME, DJEMBA DJEMBA, TOMMY KRUISE, SIR CHARLES 8 p.m. Feb. 22, Freebird Live, $15; $75 VIP. Nightmares on Wax: ANCIENT DEEP, ROCKS N BLUNTS, $BIG BUCKS CREW$, VLAD the INHALER, MATT CAULDER 8 p.m. Feb. 22, 1904 Music Hall, advance $17; $20 day of. JACKSON BROWNE 7:30 p.m. Feb. 23, Florida Theatre, $49-$99. THE NORTHERNERS, MASTER RADICAL, PIANO, BRENT BYRD & the SUITCASE GYPSIES 8 p.m. Feb. 23, Jack Rabbits, $8. PVRIS 7:30 p.m. Feb. 23, 1904 Music Hall, $12. MOD SUN, HUEY MACK, BLACKBEAR, KR, KARIZMA, DJ GNASH 7 p.m. Feb. 24, Jack Rabbits, $15; $55 VIP. KURT LANHAM 7 p.m. Feb. 25, Ragtime Tavern. THE EXPENDABLES, BALLYHOO, KATASTRO 7 p.m. Feb. 25, Freebird Live, $20. TRASH TALK, RATKING, LEE BANNON 8 p.m. Feb. 25, Underbelly, $15. TOMBOI, BOYFRIEND, HEAVY FLOW 8 p.m. Feb. 25, 1904 Music Hall, $5. THE MIDTOWN MEN 8 p.m. Feb. 25, Florida Theatre, $35-$65. LOVE MONKEY 10 p.m. Feb. 25, The Roadhouse.
UPCOMING CONCERTS
MICHAEL ALLMAN BAND Feb. 26, Underbelly CHRIS CAGLE Feb. 26, Mavericks LEO KOTTKE Feb. 26, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SHPONGLE, PHUTUREPRIMITIVE Feb. 26, Freebird Live CAM MEEKINS Feb. 26, Jack Rabbits CHRISTOPHER DEAN BAND Feb. 26, Ragtime Tavern SHPONGLE Feb. 26, Freebird Live THE DOOBIE BROTHERS, MARSHALL TUCKER BAND Feb. 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre TAB SPENCER Feb. 27, Burro Bar FJORD EXPLORER, THE MOBROS Feb. 27, 1904 Music Hall CORBITT BROTHERS, PORCH 40, HERD OF WATTS Feb. 27, Underbelly JOHN POPPER, WHISKEY BENT, BONNIE BLUE Feb. 27, Freebird Live CHILLULA Feb. 27, Lynch’s Irish Pub HOME GROWN Feb 27 & 28, Roadhouse BIG SANDY & HIS FLY-RITE BOYS, DIRT FLOOR KRACKERS Feb. 27, Jack Rabbits CLOUD 9 Feb. 27 & 28, Ragtime Tavern Scottish Games & Festival: CLEGHORN, MOTHER GROVE, PICTUS, RON DAVIS Feb. 28, Clay County Fairgrounds Great Atlantic Festival: SHANE DWIGHT, CORBITT BROTHERS, MISSISSIPPI HEAT, GRACE & TONY Feb. 28, SeaWalk Pavilion DENNY BLUE Feb. 28, The Milltop Tavern ’68, THE AMITY AFFLICTION Feb. 28, Underbelly STICK TO YOUR GUNS, THE AMITY AFFLICTION, BEING AS AN OCEAN, ’68, IN HEARTS WAKE Feb. 28, Underbelly THE BASTARD SUNS Feb. 28, Jack Rabbits DENDERA BLOODBATH, WOVEN IN, DAGGER BEACH Feb. 28,
Burro Bar Folio Weekly Grand Opening: AUSTIN PARK Feb. 28, Club Retro Music for Meows: GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE, PHILIP PAN, DIXIE RODEO, BLUE VERONICA, ROCK HELL VICTORY, JOEL LAND March 1, Jack Rabbits MONKEY WRENCH March 1, Ragtime Tavern K. MICHELLE March 1, The Florida Theatre BARRIER, VILLAINS, GIFT GIVER, TRAITORS, ADALIAH March 3, 1904 Music Hall STRINGFEVER March 5, Café Eleven LORETTA LYNN March 5, The Florida Theatre MOPE GROOVES March 5, Shantytown Pub THOMAS WYNN & THE BELIEVERS, FIREWATER TENT REVIVAL, DR. SIRBROTHER March 5, 1904 Music Hall CRAIG MORGAN March 5, Mavericks Aura Music & Arts Festival: MOE, DISCO BISCUITS, PAPADOSIO, SNARKY PUPPY, THE MAIN SQUEEZE, PIGEONS PLAYING PING PONG, McLOVINS, GHOST OWL March 6-8, Suwannee Music Park IVY LEAGUE March 6 & 7, Roadhouse IMMERSION, DAMNAGED, DOUBLE TAP March 7, 1904 Music Hall NIGHT FEVER (Bee Gees tribute) March 7, Thrasher-Horne Center STRANGER March 6 & 7, Lynch’s Irish Pub Great Guitar Gathering: MARTIN TAYLOR, RICHARD SMITH March 7, The Florida Theatre TANNAHILL WEAVERS March 7, Mudville Music Room GENERATIONALS, ROSE QUARTZ March 7, Underbelly SOUTHERN CULTURE ON THE SKIDS, THE WOOLLY BUSHMEN, RIVERNECKS March 8, Colonial Quarter KALIN & MYLES March 8, Jack Rabbits DAN & SHAY, CANAAN SMITH March 8, Freebird Live AVA MENDOZA March 9, rain dogs THREE DOG NIGHT March 10, The Florida Theatre GIN BLOSSOMS March 11, Mavericks PARTICLE, S.P.O.R.E., GREENHOUSE LOUNGE March 11, 1904 Music Hall REV. PEYTON’S BIG DAMN BAND March 10, Jack Rabbits JOURNEY, STEVE MILLER BAND, TOWER OF POWER March 12, Veterans Memorial Arena FULLSET March 12, Mudville Music Room LA LUZ, THE SHIVAS, WET NURSE March 13, Colonial Quarter Celtic Music & Heritage Festival: ALBANNACH, DUBLIN CITY RAMBLERS, RATHKELTAIR, SEARSON, WHISKEY OF THE DAMNED, POOR ANGUS, MAKEM & SPAIN, IRISH ECHOES March 13-15, St. Francis Field, St. Augustine YAMADEO March 13 & 14, Lynch’s Irish Pub OZONE BABY March 13 & 14, Roadhouse Swingtime: THE JIVE ACES, THE TINSELTOWN JITTERBUGS March 13, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts ELVIS COSTELLO March 14, The Florida Theatre ELTON JOHN March 14, Veterans Memorial Arena COREY SMITH March 14, Mavericks DEON COLE March 14, Ritz Theatre JOHN MELLENCAMP March 15, Times-Union Center Natural Life Music Fest: THE HOWLIN’ BROTHERS, MANDOLIN ORANGE, TALL TALL TREES, JUDAH & THE LION, HORSE FEATHERS March 15, Metropolitan Park MASON JENNINGS March 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall TIJUANA HERCULES, LAUREL LEE & THE ESCAPEES, JACKIE STRANGER March 15, Shanghai Nobby’s DUBLIN CITY RAMBLERS March 16, Culhane’s Irish Pub BALANCE & COMPOSURE, CIRCA SURVIVE March 17, Underbelly Suwannee Spring Fest: WOOD BROTHERS, SHOVELS AND ROPE, INFAMOUS STRINGDUSTERS, KELLER WILLIAMS & TRAVELIN’ McCOURYS, BLIND BOYS of ALABAMA, THE LARRY KEEL EXPERIENCE, DONNA the BUFFALO, JOE CRAVEN, JIM LAUDERDALE March 19, Spirit of the Suwannee
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LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC SUICIDE SILENCE, EMMURE, WITHIN THE RUINS, FIT FOR AN AUTOPSY March 19, Freebird Live BUCKWHEAT ZYDECO March 19, Colonial Quarter DRYMILL ROAD March 19, Underbelly CYRUS CHESTNUT March 20, Ritz Theatre LOOK, LISTEN, BUY! March 20, 1904 Music Hall ROGER THAT March 20 & 21, Roadhouse THE B-52s March 21, The Florida Theatre MAVIS STAPLES March 21, Ritz Theatre JACKIE EVANCHO March 22, The Florida Theatre RECORD FAIR March 22, St. Augustine Amphitheatre AGNOSTIC FRONT, COLDSIDE March 22, Burro Bar FRNKIERO & THE CELLABRATION, HOMELESS GOSPEL CHOIR, MODERN CHEMISTRY March 24, Jack Rabbits GET THE LED OUT March 24, The Florida Theatre ATMOSPHERE March 24, Freebird Live SARAH McLACHLAN March 25, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CRUSHED OUT, WOOLLY BUSHMEN March 25, Underbelly NICKELBACK March 25, Veterans Memorial Arena THE ORIGINAL WAILERS March 25, Café Eleven TOM PAPA March 26, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ERIC CHURCH March 26, Veterans Memorial Arena AGAINST GRACE, RAISING CADENCE March 26 Underbelly MANATEES, THE MOLD, NUTRITIONAL BEAST March 26, rain dogs THIRD DAY, BRANDON HEATH March 26, St. Aug. Amphitheatre THE AUSTRALIAN BEE GEES March 26, The Florida Theatre SPRAY PAINT, SALYUT 2 March 27, rain dogs WILLIE SUGARCAPPS, SETH WALKER March 27, Colonial Quarter CHROME HEART March 27 & 28, Roadhouse THE TONY G-5, TIM DAVIS March 27, The Florida Theatre Slide into Spring Music & Craft Beer Fest: THE WAILERS, TRAE PIERCE & T-STONE BAND, MATISYAHU, RAILROAD EARTH, TURKUAZ, SUPERVILLAINS, THE FRITZ, SPIRITUAL REZ, CORBITT BROTHERS March 28 & 29, Main Beach, Fernandina ONE-EYED DOLL, MANNA ZEN, ERODE, TPM, SUNZ OF SAM March 28, 1904 Music Hall ENTER SHIKARI March 28, Underbelly BILL ORCUTT March 29, Sun-Ray Cinema BRONX WANDERERS March 29, The Florida Theatre COBALT CRANES, THE NERVOUS TICKS March 29, rain dogs GUNS OUT AT SUNDOWN March 30, Jack Rabbits LYNYRD SKYNYRD April 2 & 3, The Florida Theatre 1964: Tribute to The Beatles April 3, St. Augustine Amphitheatre BASEBALL PROJECT, CHUCK PROPHET April 3, Colonial Quarter LOVE MONKEY April 3 & 4, Roadhouse SouthEast Beast Fest: NEW FOUND GLORY, CAPSIZE, COUNTERPARTS, H20, CITIZEN, DEFEATER, TURNSTILE, THIS WILD LIFE, CRIME IN STEREO, FIREWORKS, GIDEON, A LOSS FOR WORDS, THE ORPHAN, THE POET, ARTIFEX PEREO, BAD LUCK, BOYS NO GOOD, VILLAINS, XERXES, LIFE of AGONY,
30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 18-24, 2015
Roots-rock fave and Americana pioneer GURF MORLIX performs on Feb. 20 at Mudville Music Room.
BIOHAZARD, WISDOM in CHAINS, EARTH CRISIS, THE BANNER, ROTTING OUT, TRUE LOVE April 4 & 5, Aqua Nightclub PIECES OF DREAM April 4, Ritz Theatre ALLELE, FALL TO JUNE, PRIDELESS, SECOND’S AWAY, POOR RICHARDS, TACH, CHAYO NASH, SIMPLE NATURAL, MND April 4, 1904 Music Hall DELLA MAE April 4, Colonial Quarter THE STEEP CANYON RANGERS April 8, P.V. Concert Hall One Spark After Dark: CANARY IN THE COALMINE, THIS FRONTIER NEEDS HEROES, HA HA TONKA, DJ LIL’ BOY, ON GUARD, EMPIRE THEORY, SUNBEARS!, WILDER SONS, DOMINO EFFECT, SOMEBODY ELSE, GOLD LIGHT, SLEEPWALKERS, KOPECKY FAMILY BAND April 8-10, Jax Chamber Parking Lot JANIS IAN, TOM PAXTON April 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall Stringbreak Music Fest: STEEP CANYON RANGERS, WILLIE SUGARCAPPS, THE RAGBIRDS, HAVE GUN WILL TRAVEL, GATORBONE, BRIAN SUTHERLAND BAND, 8 BALL AITKEN, GRANT PEEPLES, GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE, THE LAGERHEADS April 9-12, Sertoma Youth Ranch, Brooksville THE MAVERICKS April 10, The Florida Theatre CHILLY RHINO April 10 & 11, Roadhouse THE ORCHESTRA April 11, The Florida Theatre KID INK, JEREMIAH, DEJ LOAF April 11, T-U Center DIARRHEA PLANET, LEFT AND RIGHT April 13, rain dogs Wanee Music Fest: WIDESPREAD PANIC, GREGG ALLMAN, GOV’T MULE, EARTH, WIND & FIRE, CHEAP TRICK, JAIMOE’S JASSSZ BAND, BUTCH TRUCKS & FRIENDS, THE WORD (ROBERT RANDOLPH, JOHN MEDESKI, LUTHER DICKINSON, CODY DICKINSON, CHRIS CHEW), HOT TUNA ELECTRIC, JJ GREY & MOFRO, OTEIL & FRIENDS, GALACTIC, ZAPPA PLAYS ZAPPA, LEFTOVER SALMON, YONDER MOUNTAIN STRING BAND, IVAN NEVILLE’S DUMPSTAPHUNK, RICH ROBINSON & DOYLE BRAMHALL II, RAW OYSTER CULT, DRAGON SMOKE, THE REVIVALISTS, HOME AT LAST, BOBBY LEE ROGERS, PINK TALKING FISH, ERIC LINDELL & COMPANY, ROYAL SOUTHERN BROTHERHOOD, NATURAL CHILD, JACOB JEFFRIES BAND, JUKE April 16-18, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park FRATELLO April 17 & 18, Roadhouse HERITAGE BLUES ORCHESTRA April 17, Ritz Theatre Springing the Blues: CHUBBY CARRIER & the BAYOU SWAMP BAND, SELWYN BIRCHWOOD, EDDIE SHAW & the WOLF GANG, TINSLEY ELLIS, JOHN NEMETH, SAMANTHA FISH, SHARRIE WILLIAMS, THE LEE BOYS, CEDRIC BURNSIDE, LIGHTNIN’ MALCOLM, KARA GRAINGER, BETTY FOX BAND, BACKTRACK BLUES BAND, HOMEMADE JAMZ BAND, BRADY CLAMPITT, LINDA GRENVILLE, JIM McKABA & AFTER HOURS BAND, PARKERURBAN BAND, WOODY & the PECKERS, BAY STREET, UNCLE JONNY’S BLUES MACHINE April 17-19, SeaWalk Pavilion THE LACS April 18, Mavericks
THE WHO HITS 50! TOUR, JOAN JETT & THE BLACKHEARTS April 19, Veterans Memorial Arena CAGE THE ELEPHANT April 19, Mavericks DICK DALE April 21, Jack Rabbits ALAN JACKSON, JON PARDI, BRANDY CLARK April 24, St. Augustine Amphitheatre BHAGAVAN DAS April 24-26, Karpeles Museum HOME FREE A CAPELLA GROUP April 24, P.V. Concert Hall RAIN April 24, The Florida Theatre TYLER THE CREATOR April 24, Mavericks COMFORT ZONE April 24 & 25, Roadhouse Welcome to Rockville: SLIPKNOT, KORN, GODSMACK, SLAYER, MARILYN MANSON, MINISTRY, SLASH, MYLES KENNEDY & the CONSPIRATORS, PAPA ROACH, BREAKING BENJAMIN, SUICIDAL TENDENCIES April 25 & 26, Metro Park THE MOWGLIS, FENCES, HIPPO CAMPUS April 26, Jack Rabbits RONNIE MILSAP April 26, The Florida Theatre THE ROBERT CRAY BAND, SHEMEKIA COPELAND April 27, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CHRIS BOTTI April 30, The Florida Theatre TIGERS JAW, LEMURIA, SOMOS April 30, Underbelly WILCO May 1, St. Augustine Amphitheatre IRATION May 2, Mavericks HOZIER May 5, The Florida Theatre NEUTRAL MILK HOTEL May 7, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ZZ TOP, JEFF BECK May 9, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JENNY LEWIS May 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall LISA LOEB, FLAGSHIP ROMANCE May 10, P.V. Concert Hall J. RODDY WALSTON & THE BUSINESS May 14, Jack Rabbits RODNEY CARRINGTON May 14, T-U Center PIERCE PETTIS May 14, Café Eleven NEEDTOBREATHE, BEN RECTOR, COLONY HOUSE, DREW HOLCOMB & the NEIGHBORS May 14, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ED KOWALCZYK May 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall IGGY AZALEA May 18, Veterans Memorial Arena Jax Jazz Festival: SNARKY PUPPY, THE SOUL REBELS, TITO PUENTE JR. ORCHESTRA, FELIX PEIKLI & the ROYAL FLUSH QUINTET, ROMAN STREET, ELISHA PARRIS, MAMA BLUE May 21-24, Downtown TODD RUNDGREN May 22, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall Florida Country Superfest: ZAC BROWN BAND, KEITH URBAN, BRANTLEY GILBERT, COLE SWINDELL, TYLER FARR, DAVID NAIL, COLT FORD, DANIELLE BRADBERY, THE SWON BROTHERS June 13 & 14, EverBank Field SEAWALK MUSIC FEST June 20, SeaWalk Pavilion, Jax Beach Warped Tour: ALIVE LIKE ME, AS IT IS, BABY BABY, ARGENT, BEAUTIFUL BODIES, BEING AS AN OCEAN, BLACK BOOTS, BLACK VEIL BRIDES, BLESSTHEFALL, BORN CAGES, KOO KOO KANGA ROO, BOYMEETSWORLD, CANDY HEARTS, ESCAPE THE
FATE, FAMILY FORCE 5, FIT FOR A KING, HANDGUNS, HANDS LIKE HOUSES, I KILLED THE PROM QUEEN, KOSHA DILLZ, LE CASTLE VANIA, LEE COREY OSWALD, M4SONIC, MATCHBOOK ROMANCE, NECK DEEP, NIGHT NIGHT RIOTS, PALISADES, SPLITBREED, THE RELAPSE SYMPHONY, TRANSIT, THE WONDER YEARS, TROPHY EYES, WHILE SHE SLEEPS, YOUTH IN REVOLT July 6, Morocco Shrine Auditorium “WEIRD AL” YANKOVIC Aug. 16, The Florida Theatre AMELIA ISLAND JAZZ FESTIVAL Oct. 8-15, Fernandina Beach MARK KNOPFLER Oct. 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre
LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC
LIVE MUSIC CLUBS AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH
DAVID’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE, 802 Ash St., 310-6049 John Springer every Tue.-Wed. Aaron Bing 6 p.m. Fri. & Sat. GREEN TURTLE TAVERN, 14 S. Third St., 321-2324 Buck Smith every Thur. Yancy Clegg Sun. Vinyl Record Nite every Tue. HAMMERHEAD, 2045 S. Fletcher Ave., 491-7783 DJ Refresh 9 p.m. every Sun. PALACE SALOON, 117 Centre. St., 491-3332 Wes Cobb every Wed. Schnockered every Sun. Buck Smith every Tue.
AVONDALE, ORTEGA
CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores 9 p.m. every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free 9 p.m. Tue. & Thur. Indie dance at 9 p.m. Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance at 9 p.m. Fri. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns, 388-0200 Ryan Crary Feb. 19. Whetherman Feb. 20. Carl & the Black Lungs Feb. 21
THE BEACHES
(All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted)
BILLY’S BOATHOUSE, 2321 Beach Blvd., 241-9771 Billy Bowers Feb. 19. 4Play Feb. 20. Reggae SWAT Team Feb. 22 BLUE WATER ISLAND GRILL, 205 First St. N., 249-0083 The Funky Nuggets 9 p.m. Feb. 20 BRASS ANCHOR PUB, 2292 Mayport Rd., Ste. 35, Atlantic Beach, 249-0301 Joe Oliff 8 p.m. Feb. 18 CASA MARINA HOTEL, 691 First St. N., 270-0025 Charlie Walker 3 p.m. Feb. 22 FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 Wasabi Rush Feb. 20. Herd of Watts Feb. 21 FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 Greye Feb. 20. Lucero, Ryan Bingham, Twin Forks Feb. 21. R.L. Grime, Djemba Djemba, Tommy Kruise, Sir Charles Feb. 22. The Expendables, Ballyhoo, Katastro Feb. 25. Shpongle, Phutureprimitive Feb. 26 HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815 Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. Dan Evans, Spade McQuade 6 p.m. every Sun. Back From the Brink 9 p.m. every Mon. LILLIE’S COFFEE BAR, 200 First St., N.B., 249-2922 Raina Woodard Feb. 20. Dot Wilder, Barry Greene Feb. 21. Live jazz/ soft rock music every Fri. & Sat. LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Dalton Stanley Band 10 p.m. Feb. 20 & 21 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 N. Third St., 246-1500 3 the Band Feb. 18. Herd of Watts Feb. 19 MEZZA RESTAURANT & BAR, 110 First St., N.B., 249-5573 Neil Dixon 6 p.m. every Tue. Gypsies Ginger 6 p.m. every Wed. Mike Shackelford & Steve Shanholtzer 6 p.m. Thur. NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., A.B., 372-4105 Billy Bowers Feb. 21 OCEAN 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., A.B., 247-0060 Taylor Roberts 7 p.m. Feb. 18 & 19 RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., A.B., 241-7877 Billy Bowers 7 p.m. Feb. 18. The Splinters 7 p.m. Feb. 19. Boogie Freaks 10 p.m. Feb. 20 & 21. Plan B Feb. 22. Kurt Lanham Feb. 25. Christopher Dean Band Feb. 26. Live music Thur.-Sun.
New Orleans-born Grammy winners THE REBIRTH BRASS BAND (pictured) perform with FLOW TRIBE on Feb. 20 at The Ritz Theatre & Museum. Throwback 8 p.m. every Thur. Deck music 5 p.m. every Fri. & Sat., 4:30 p.m. every Sun.
INTRACOASTAL WEST
CLIFF’S BAR & GRILL, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 DJ Big Rob Thur., Sun. & Tue. JERRY’S SPORTS GRILLE, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766 Don’t Call Me Shirley 8:30 p.m. Feb. 20. Spektra Feb. 21 YOUR PLACE, 13245 Atlantic, 221-9994 RadioLove Feb. 19
MANDARIN, JULINGTON
HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., 880-3040 Open mic: Synergy 8 p.m. every Wed. World’s Most Talented Waitstaff 9 p.m. every Fri.
ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG
THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells, 272-5959 John Michael Wed.-Sat. PREVATT’S SPORTS BAR, 2620 Blanding Blvd., 282-1564 DJ Tammy 9 p.m. every Wed. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Boogie Freaks 10 p.m. Feb. 18. Circle of Influence Feb. 20 & 21. Love Monkey Feb. 25. DJ Corey B Wed. DJ Big Mike Thur.
PONTE VEDRA
PUSSERS CARIBBEAN GRILLE, 816 A1A, Ste. 100, 280-7766 Samuel Sanders 6 p.m. Feb. 18 & 25. Richard Smith 6 p.m. Feb. 19. John Austill 8 p.m. Feb. 20. Garret Speer 7 p.m. Feb. 21
RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE
ACROSS THE STREET, 948 Edgewood Ave. S., 683-4182 Bill Ricci Feb. 20. Duppies Feb. 21 MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., 388-7807 West Jax Jazz Ensemble 8 p.m. Feb. 20 rain dogs, 1045 Park St., Riverside, 379-4969 Bleeding in Stereo, Crashmir, Black Stache 8 p.m. Feb. 20
ST. AUGUSTINE
CAFE ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311 Full Service, Root of All 8 p.m. Feb. 19 THE CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 Oh No Feb. 20. Ian Kelly 2 p.m., Ain’t Too Proud to Beg 7 p.m. Feb. 21. Vinny Jacobs 2 p.m. Feb. 22 HARRY’S, 46 Avenida Menendez, 824-7765 Rob Peck Feb. 18. John Dickey Feb. 19. Jim Asselta Feb. 21. Caleb Joye Feb. 22 MILL TOP TAVERN, 19-1/2 St. George, 829-2329 Denny Blue 1 p.m. Feb. 21. David Russell & John Peyton 9 p.m. Feb. 20 & 21. Katherine Archer 1 p.m. Feb. 22 PAULA’S BEACHSIDE GRILL, 6896 A1A S., Crescent Beach, 471-3463 Denny Blue open mic jam 6-9 p.m. Feb. 18 & 25 TEMPO, 16 Cathedral Pl., 342-0286 Denny Blue 5 p.m. Feb. 21 TRADEWINDS, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Spanky 9 p.m. Feb. 20 & 21
SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK
INDOCHINE, 1974 San Marco Blvd., 503-7013 Dance Radio
DOWNTOWN
1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N. Bridging the Music Showcase, Casey Clark 7 p.m. Feb. 18. The Heard Feb. 20. Headbang for the Highway 5 p.m. Feb. 21. Ancient Deep, Rocks N Blunts, $Big Bucks Crew$, Vlad the Inhaler, Matt Caulder 8 p.m. Feb. 22. Pvris Feb. 23. Tomboi, Boyfriend Feb. 25 BURRO BAR, 100 E. Adams St. Rock Hell Victory Feb. 18. Darsombra, Dorian Nins Feb. 19. Bread & Circus Feb. 20. Blowfly, Twinki, Tough Junkie 8 p.m. Feb. 21 DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 BlackJack every Wed. DJ Brandon every Thur. Dance music every Fri. DJ NickFresh Sat. DJ Randall 9 p.m. Mon. DJ Hollywood every Tue. DUKE’S PLACE BLUES BAR, 521 W. Forsyth St., 339-5015 Fonix 8 p.m. Feb. 19 FIONN MacCOOL’S, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247 Spade McQuade 6 p.m. Feb. 18 & 25. Carolina Ceili Feb. 20. Chuck Nash 8 p.m. Feb. 21. Live music Fri. & Sat. THE JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 XHale, Ivey West Band Feb. 21. George Aspinall Band Feb. 22 MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay, 355-5099 DJ Roy Luis every Wed. DJ Vinn every Thur. DJ 007 Fri. Bay Street Sat. MAVERICKS, Jax Landing, 356-1110 Magic Mike Male Revue 6 p.m. Feb. 21. Chris Cagle Feb. 26. Joe Buck, Big Tasty Thur.-Sat. UNDERBELLY, 113 E. Bay St., 699-8186 Neil Alday & Further South, David Lareau & the Copperpots, Big Shoals, Six Time Losers 8 p.m. Feb. 21. Trash Talk, Ratking, Lee Bannon Feb. 25
FLEMING ISLAND
WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Lisa & the Mad Hatters 9 p.m. Feb. 20 & 21. Live music Fri. & Sat. DJ
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LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC Underground, Sugar & Cream, Black Hoodie, Bass Therapy Sessions, Allan GIz-Roc Oteyza, TrapNasty, Cry Havoc, Sat. JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Swear and Shake, Sea Floor Explosives, WillowWacks 8 p.m. Feb. 18. New Kingston, Through the Roots, Prime Trees Feb. 20. Dancing with Ghosts, Junkyard Flash, Radar vs. Wolf Feb. 21. The Bunny The Bear, Rosedale Feb. 22. The Northerners, Master Radical, Brent Byrd & the Suitcase Gypsies Feb. 23. Mod Sun, Huey Mack, Blackbear, KR, Karizma, DJ Gnash Feb. 24 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Hans York Feb. 19. Gurf Morlix Feb. 20. Larry Mangum CD party Feb. 21. Candye Kane Feb. 22. Danielle Miraglia, Amy Hendrickson Feb. 24
SOUTHSIDE, BAYMEADOWS
AQUA, 11000 Beach Blvd., 334-2122 Plies 9 p.m. Feb. 20 BULL TAVERN, 7217 Atlantic Blvd., 724-2337 Skytrain Feb. 22 CORNER BISTRO, 9823 Tapestry Park Cir., 619-1931 Matt Hall every Wed.-Sat. Steve Wheeler every Fri.
HAMBURGER MARY’S, 3333 Beach Blvd., Ste. 1, 551-2048 Amber 8 p.m. Feb. 22 LATITUDE 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 Be Easy, VJ Fellin Feb. 19. Darrell Rae, Katz Downstairs, VJ Fellin 11:30 p.m. Feb. 20. Samuel Sanders 7:30 p.m., Katz Downstairs 8:30 p.m. Feb. 21. Billy Buchanan Band 7:30 p.m. Feb. 22 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 997-1955 Whetherman 10 p.m. Feb. 19. Ryan Crary Feb. 21 WILD WING CAFÉ, 4555 Southside Blvd., 998-9464 Chris Brinkley Feb. 18. Open mic & jam Feb. 19. The Gootch Feb. 20. Shotgun Redd Feb. 21 WORLD OF BEER, 9700 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 551-5929 Garrett on Acoustic Feb. 19. Live music Fri. & Sat.
SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE
THREE LAYERS COFFEEHOUSE, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 The Duffy Bishop Trio 8 p.m. Feb. 20. Tom & Natalie Feb. 21
THE KNIFE THE KNIFE
WHAT’S YOUR SIZE?
R
ecently, the members of a musicians’ forum on Facebook to which I belong were debating the appropriate length of an album. Before the thread veered off into “Who is Kraftwerk?” territory (freakin’ idiot kids), the questions were many, some of them even relevant. How long is too long? Which is better, an EP or an LP? Is a double album even a thing anymore? Do magazines review EPs? This got me thinking, since my upcoming record clocks in at two discs, 33 songs, and more than two-and-a-half hours. Is that too much? Would anyone listen to that amount of music? Did I really give a shit? The answer to all three of those questions is likely no, but they’re at least worthy of a brief investigation. In the “old” days, there were only singles. Yes, LPs existed, but they weren’t the preferred medium of commercial music acts. Back in the ’50s, an artist could go into the studio and cut two songs in two hours and have a 45 ready to go out to the radio stations, where the PR folks would pay for a healthy bit of airtime to make the record a smash hit. As the ’60s rolled around, and LPs found their place on the turntables and in the collective conscience of the listening public, more songs — more good songs — were needed to fill up the two sides (about 45 total minutes). Radio DJs played their favorite tracks, sometimes not even the designated singles, and by the late-’70s, some stations were playing full album sides. FM, man. So, mid-timeline, we can address the main question. How long was too long? For Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention (Freak Out) and Bob Dylan (Blonde on Blonde) — the battle still rages as to who released the first double vinyl rock album in 1966 — an hour-and-a-half was just perfect. They were long albums, with lots of songs, but they still sold. And they set in motion a movement among the more daring of their peers. Double albums proliferated over the next decade, but slowly died out with the short attention spans of Americans seduced by MTV. By the mid-’80s, double albums were all but dead (excepting live and greatest hits records, and box sets). With the advent of iTunes in the early 2000s, and the proliferation of other online marketplaces and streaming services since, it seems even the single has made a comeback.
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So where does that leave us? According to the many musicians in the forum debate, 45 minutes is still the perfect album length. Some lambasted Billy Corgan for the long-winded, 28-song double-stinker Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness. Others advocated for creative freedom, putting the responsibility on the listener to choose how much of any given package he or she would like to hear. Of concern, though, was that artists rarely know what of their own material is good, and so they’d put all of it out there, thinking they’re prolific pop-songwriting geniuses. (But even the most prolific popsongwriting geniuses in the history of rock released only one double album, titled simply The Beatles.) For the smart (or trepidatious) artist, there’s the alternative EP, a shorter collection of songs sometimes released in 7- or 10-inch vinyl format. EPs are normally the domain of young, independent artists just getting their feet wet in the business, learning the ropes or trying to scrape together the cash for a full-length. The EP has always had cachet in the punk and underground markets, and some bands never release anything more than EPs in their catalog. But as it was pointed out in the forum, these rarely get reviewed by reputable publications. Fanzines and punk rags may give a shorter recording a spin, but most name publications won’t even accept unsolicited material — much less a cheeseball EP demo — from locals. So smaller artists seem destined to dwell in obscurity, simply because they don’t have the songs or the money (yet) to create a full album. I guess this is where I come in. As one forum member put it: “Citrone will review an EP. Citrone will review a colonoscopy.” I probably would, if it were set to music. In my book, length is ultimately unimportant. If the songs are good (or even simply engrossing) enough to hold my attention, pile them on. While some liken music-listening to the consumption of a meal, and can become full after too many courses, I think of it more in terms of traveling. As long as the journey’s interesting, with enough turns and off-roads to spark my imagination, I’ll keep driving. Roll me down the asphalt through Blandsville, U.S.A., and I’ll drive off the road at Mile Marker 3. John E. Citrone theknife@folioweekly.com
Billy Sheehan, Amy Alexander, Meredith Geiger and Sydney Daniels, of Mossfire Grill in Riverside, amid tasty tuna tacos and tempeh empenadas. Photo: Dennis Ho
DINING DIRECTORY AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH, YULEE
29 SOUTH EATS, 29 S. Third St., 277-7919, 29south restaurant.com. F In historic downtown, Chef Scotty Schwartz serves traditional regional cuisine with a modern twist. $$ L Tue.-Sat.; D Mon.-Sat.; R Sun. BARBERITOS, 1519 Sadler Rd., 277-2505. 463867 S.R. 200, Ste. 5, Yulee, 321-2240, barberitos.com. Southwestern fare; burritos, tacos, quesadillas, salsa. $$ BW K TO L D Daily BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F Southern hospitality, upscale waterfront spot; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB K L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo.com. F Family-owned spot in a historic building. Veggie burgers, seafood, made-from-scratch desserts. Dine in or on oak-shaded patio. Karibrew Pub next door. $$ FB K TO R, Sun.; L D Daily CHEZ LEZAN BAKERY CO., 1014 Atlantic Ave., 491-4663, chezlezanbakery.com. Fresh European-style breads, pastries: croissants, muffins, cakes, pies. $ TO B R L Daily CIAO ITALIAN BISTRO, 302 Centre St., 206-4311, ciaobistroluca.com. Owners Luka and Kim Misciasci offer fine dining: veal piccata, rigatoni Bolognese, antipasto. Specialties: chicken Ciao, homemade meat lasagna. $ L Fri., Sat.; D Nightly DAVID’S Restaurant & Lounge, 802 Ash St., 310-6049, ameliaislanddavids.com. Historic district fine dining. Fresh seafood, prime aged meats, rack of lamb. $$$$ FB D Wed.-Mon. DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 474313 E. S.R. 200, 491-3469. 450077 S.R. 200, Callahan, 879-0993. BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA.
ELIZABETH POINTE LODGE, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabethpointelodge.com. BOJ winner. Award-winning B&B. Seaside dining, inside or out. Hot buffet breakfast daily. Homestyle soups, sandwiches, desserts. $$$ BW B L D Daily JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddianes cafe.com. F In renovated 1887 shotgun house. Jambalaya, French toast, mac-n-cheese, vegan/vegetarian items. Dine in or on porch. $$ FB K B L D Daily LULU’S at Thompson House, 11 S. 7th St., 432-8394, lulus amelia.com. F Po’boys, salads, local seafood, local shrimp. Reservations. $$$ BW K TO R Sun.; L D Tue.-Sat. MARCHÉ BURETTE, 6800 First Coast Hwy., 491-4834, omnihotels.com. Old-fashioned gourmet food market and deli, in the Spa & Shops, Omni Amelia Island Plantation. Continental breakfast; lunch features flatbreads. $$$ BW K TO L D Daily MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moonriver pizza.net. F BOJ winner. Northern-style pizzas, 20+ toppings, by the pie or the slice. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE MUSTARD SEED CAFE, 833 TJ Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Casual organic eatery, juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juice, herbal tea. $$ TO B L Mon.-Sat. THE PECAN ROLL BAKERY, 122 S. Eighth St., 491-9815, thepecanrollbakery.com. The bakery, near historic district, offers sweet and savory pastries, cookies, cakes, bagels and breads, all made from scratch. $ K TO B L Wed.-Sun. PLAE, 80 Amelia Village Cir., 277-2132, plaefl.net. Bite Club. Bistro-style venue serves whole fried fish, duck breast. Outside. $$$ FB L Tue.-Sat.; D Nightly
THE SALTY PELICAN Bar & Grill, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F BOJ winner. 2nd-story outdoor bar. Owners T.J. and Al offer local seafood, Mayport shrimp, fish tacos, po’boys, cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F Oceanfront; handmade crab cakes, fresh seafood, fried pickles. Outdoor dining, open-air 2nd floor, balcony. $$ FB K L D Daily TASTY’S Fresh Burgers & Fries, 710 Centre St., 321-0409, tastysamelia.com. Historic district. Freshest meats, hand-cut fries, homemade sauces, hand-spun shakes. $ BW K L D Daily T-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. 8th St., 261-6310. F BOJ. In an old gas station; blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L Mon.-Sat. THE VERANDAH, 6800 First Coast Hwy., 321-5050, omni hotels.com. Extensive menu of fresh local seafood and steaks; signature entrée is Fernandina shrimp. Many herbs and spices are from onsite garden. $$$ FB K D Nightly
ARLINGTON, REGENCY
DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 9119 Merrill Rd., 745-9300. BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA. LA NOPALERA, 8818 Atlantic, 720-0106. BOJ winner. SEE MANDARIN.
LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1301 Monument, 724-5802. F SEE ORANGE PARK.
THE SHEIK DELI, 9720 Atlantic Blvd., 721-2660. Familyowned-and-operated for 40+ years, with a full breakfast (pitas to country plates) and a lunch menu. $ TO B L D Mon.-Sat.
AVONDALE, ORTEGA
BAGEL LOVE, 4114 Herschel St., Ste. 121, 634-7253, bagellovejax.com. BOJ winner. Locally-owned-and-operated. Northern style bagels, sandwiches, wraps, bakery. Freshsqueezed orange juice, lemonade; coffee, tea. $ K TO B L Daily THE CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966, the casbahcafe.com. F BOJ winner. Middle Eastern/ Mediterranean fare. Patio, hookah lounge, bellydancers. $$ BW L D Daily CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATE, 3543 St. Johns Ave., 829-5790. F In Green Man Gourmet. SEE PONTE VEDRA. $$ TO FLORIDA CREAMERY, 3566 St. Johns Ave., 619-5386. Premium ice cream, waffle cones, milkshakes, sundaes and Nathan’s grilled hot dogs, served in a Florida-centric décor. Low-fat and sugar-free choices. $ K TO L D Daily THE FOX Restaurant, 3580 St. Johns Ave., 387-2669. F Owners Ian & Mary Chase offer fresh diner fare: burgers, meatloaf, fried green tomatoes, desserts. Breakfast all day. Local landmark for 50+ years. $$ BW K L D Daily HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631,
To get listed, call your account manager or Sam Taylor at 904.260.9770 ext. 111 or staylor@folioweekly.com. DINING DIRECTORY KEY
Average Entrée Cost $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer/Wine FB = Full Bar K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch L = Lunch D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted free FW Bite Club tasting. To join, go to fwbiteclub.com. 2014 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot
harpoonlouies.net. F Locally owned and operated for 20+ years, the American pub serves 1/2-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta. Local beers. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA, 4530 St. Johns, 388-8828. F SEE MANDARIN. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200. F Bite Club. BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MOJO NO. 4 Urban BBQ & Whiskey Bar, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670. F BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. PINEGROVE Market & Deli, 1511 Pine Grove Ave., 389-8655, pinegrovemarket.com. F BOJ winner. 40+ years. Burgers, Cuban sandwiches, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher cuts USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. $ BW TO B L D Mon.-Sat. PULP, 3645 St. Johns Ave., pulpaddiction.com. SEE SAN MARCO. RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaurant orsay.com. BOJ winner. French/Southern bistro; emphasis on locally grown organic ingredients. Steak frites, mussels, pork chops. Snail of Approval. $$$ FB K R, Sun.; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simply saras.net. F Down-home fare, from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Mon.-Sat., B Sat.
BAYMEADOWS
AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 7825 Baymeadows Way, 733-4040. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F SEE BEACHES.
BROADWAY Ristorante & Pizzeria, 10920 Baymeadows Rd. E., 519-8000, broadwayfl.com. F Family-owned-andoperated Italian spot. Calzones, wings, brick-oven-baked pizza, subs. $$ BW K TO L D Daily INDIA’S Restaurant, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajax.com. F BOJ winner. Authentic Indian cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetable dishes, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L Mon.-Sat.; D Nightly LA NOPALERA, 8206 Philips Hwy., 732-9433. F BOJ winner. SEE MANDARIN. LARRY’S SUBS, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., 737-7740. 8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F SEE ORANGE PARK. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 11030 Baymeadows Rd., 260-2791. SEE MANDARIN. PIZZA PALACE Restaurant & Pizzeria, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., 527-8649, pizzapalacejax.com. F Casual, familyowned; homestyle faves: spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, lasagna. Outside dining. $$ BW K TO L D Daily SNEAKERS Sports Grille, 8133 Point Meadows Dr., 519-0509. BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. TEQUILAS Mexican Restaurant, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 101, 363-1365. Salsa, guacamole, chips, beans, rice and meat dishes made fresh daily. $$ FB L D Mon.-Sat. ZESTY INDIA, 8358 Point Meadows Dr., 329-3676, zesty india.com. Asian/European; tandoori lamb chops, rosemary tikka. Vegetarian cooked separately. $ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun.
BEACHES
(Locations are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)
AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0002, alspizza.com. F New York-style, gourmet pizzas, baked dishes. All-day happy hour Mon.-Thur. $ FB K TO L D Daily ANGIE’S SUBS, 1436 Beach Blvd., 246-2519. ANGIE’S
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DINING DIRECTORY GROM, 204 Third Ave. S., 246-7823. BOJ winner. Subs made with fresh ingredients for more than 25 years. One word: Peruvian. Huge salads, blue-ribbon iced tea. $ BW TO L D Daily BOLD BEAN Coffee Roasters, 2400 S. Third St., Ste. 201. BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. BUDDHA THAI BISTRO, 301 10th Ave. N., 712-4444, buddhathaibistro.com. The proprietors are from Thailand; every dish is made with fresh ingredients. $$ FB TO L D Daily BURRITO GALLERY Express, 1333 Third St. N., 242-8226. BOJ winner. SEE DOWNTOWN. CANTINA MAYA Sports Bar & Grille, 1021 Atlantic Blvd., A.B., 247-3227. Popular spot serves margaritas, Latin food, burgers. Sports on TVs. $$ FB K L D Tue.-Sun. CASA MARIA, 2429 S. Third St., 372-9000, casamariajax. com. F Family-owned-and-operated place offers authentic Mexican fare: fajitas and seafood dishes, hot sauces made inhouse. The specialty is tacos de asada. $ FB K L D Daily CULHANE’S Irish Pub, 967 Atlantic Blvd., A.B., 249-9595, culhanesirishpub.com. Bite Club. Upscale pub/restaurant owned and run by sisters from County Limerick. Shepherd’s pie, corned beef; gastropub fare. $$ FB K R Sat. & Sun.; L Fri.-Sun.; D Tue.-Sun. ESPETO BRAZILIAN STEAKHOUSE, 1396 Beach Blvd., 388-4884, espetosteakhouse.com. Just relocated, serving beef, pork, lamb, chicken and sausage, and a full menu and bar fare, craft cocktails, Brazilian beers. $$ FB D Daily EUROPEAN STREET, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001. BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. FLYING IGUANA Taqueria & Tequila Bar, 207 Atlantic Blvd., N.B., 853-5680, flyingiguana.com. F Latin American/ Southwest tacos, seafood, carnitas. 100+ tequilas. $ FB L D Daily HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815, harmoniousmonks.net. F SEE MANDARIN. LA NOPALERA, 1222 Third St. S., 372-4495. F BOJ winner. SEE MANDARIN. LARRY’S SUBS, 657 Third St. N., 247-9620. F SEE O.PARK. LILLIE’S COFFEE BAR, 200 First St., N.B., 249-2922, lilliescoffeebar.com. F Locally roasted coffee, eggs, bagels, flatbreads, sandwiches, desserts. Dine indoors or out, patio and courtyard. $$ BW TO B L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 1018 Third St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600, mellowmushroom.com. F Bite Club. BOJ winner. Hoagies, gourmet pizzas: Mighty Meaty, vegetarian, Kosmic Karma. 35 tap beers. Nonstop happy hour. $ FB K TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 1534 Third St. N., 853-6817. BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO.
foodshack.com. BOJ winner. Specialty items: signature tuna poke bowl, fresh rolled sushi, Ensenada tacos, local fried shrimp, in a modern open-air space. $$ FB K TO L D Daily SLIDERS Seafood Grille & Oyster Bar, 218 First St., N.B., 246-0881, slidersseafoodgrille.com. Beach-casual. Faves: Fresh fish tacos, gumbo. Key lime pie, ice cream sandwiches. $$ FB K L Sat. & Sun.; D Nightly SNEAKERS SPORTS GRILLE, 111 Beach Blvd., 482-1000, sneakerssportsgrille.com. BOJ winner. More than 20 beers on tap, TV screens, cheerleaders serving the food. Happy hour Mon.-Fri. $ FB K L D Daily TACOLU BAJA MEXICANA, 1712 Beach Blvd., 249-8226, tacolu.com. BOJ winner. Fresh, Baja-style fare with a focus on fish tacos, tequila (more than 135 kinds) and mezcal. Bangin’ shrimp, carne asada, carnitas, daily fresh fish selections. Made-fresh-daily guacamole. $$ FB K R Sat. & Sun.; L D Tue.-Fri.
DOWNTOWN
AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 21 W. Church St., 665-7324, akelsdeli.com. F New York-style deli offers freshly made subs (3 Wise Guys, Champ), burgers, gyros, breakfast bowls, ranchero wrap, vegetarian dishes. $ K TO B L Mon.-Fri. BURRITO Gallery & Bar, 21 E. Adams, 598-2922, burritogal lery.com. BOJ winner. Southwestern burritos, ginger teriyaki tofu, beef barbacoa, wraps, tacos. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth St., 356-8282. F Chef Sam Hamidi has been serving genuine Italian fare for 35+ years: veal, seafood, gourmet pizza. The homemade salad dressing is a specialty. $ BW K L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. CASA MARIA, 12961 N. Main St., Ste. 104, 757-6411. F SEE BEACHES.
CHOMP CHOMP, 106 E. Adams St., 762-4667. F Chefinspired street food: panko-crusted chicken, burgers, chinois tacos, bahn mi and barbecue. $ L Tue.-Sat.; D Thur.-Sat. FIONN MacCOOL’s Irish Pub & Restaurant, The Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1547, fionnmacs.com. Casual dining with an uptown Irish atmosphere, serving fish and chips, Guinness lamb stew and black-and-tan brownies. $$ FB K L D Daily OLIO MARKET, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket. com. From-scratch soups, sandwiches. Home to duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L Mon.-Fri.
FLEMING ISLAND
GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 1915 East-West Pkwy., 541-0009. F BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. LA NOPALERA, 1571 C.R. 220, 215-2223. F BOJ winner.
GRILL ME!
OUR WEEKLY Q&A WITH PEOPLE IN THE FOOD BIZ
NAME: Mariah Goelz Salvat RESTAURANT: Southern Roots Filling Station, 1275 King St., Riverside BIRTHPLACE: Mill Valley, California YEARS IN THE BIZ: 5 BEST CUISINE STYLE: Keeping it light so you can taste the individual flavors of the ingredients. GO-TO INGREDIENTS: Kale, organic olive oil, sunflower and pumpkin seeds IDEAL MEAL: Quinoa salad with local produce: greens, kale, lettuce, sprouts, carrots and walnuts, with olive oil, vinegar and a pinch of salt. WILL NOT CROSS MY LIPS: Foie gras or veal INSIDER’S SECRET: Love what you do. CELEBRITY SIGHTING: Whetherman Band CULINARY TREAT: Eating too many “ugly” cookies.
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MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., N.B., 249-5573, mezzarestaurantandbar.com. F Near-the-ocean eatery, 20+ years. Casual bistro fare: gourmet wood-fired pizzas, nightly specials. Dine inside or on the patio. Valet parking. $$$ FB K D Mon.-Sat. MOJO KITCHEN BBQ Pit, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636, mojo bbq.com. F BOJ winner. Pulled pork, Carolina-style barbecue, Delta fried catfish, sides. $$ FB K TO L D Daily M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., A.B., 241-2599, mshack burgers.com. F BOJ winner. David and Matthew Medure flip burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes. Dine in or out. $$ BW L D Daily NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic, Ste. 6, A.B., 372-4105, nbbistro.com. Bite Club. Chef-driven kitchen; hand-cut steaks, fresh local seafood, tapas menu. HH. $$$ FB K R Sun.; L D Daily OCEAN 60, Wine Bar, Martini Room, 60 Ocean Blvd., A.B., 247-0060, ocean60.com. BOJ winner. Continental cuisine, fresh seafood, dinner specials and a seasonal menu in a formal dining room or casual Martini Room. $$$ FB D Mon.-Sat. POE’S TAVERN, 363 Atlantic Blvd., A.B., 241-7637. American gastropub, 50+ beers, gourmet hamburgers, ground in-house, cooked to order; hand-cut French fries, fish tacos, Edgar’s Drunken Chili, daily fish sandwich special. $$ FB K L D Daily RAGTIME TAVERN & Seafood Grill, 207 Atlantic Blvd., A.B., 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F For 30+ years, the iconic seafood place has scored many awards in our BOJ readers poll. Blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily happy hour. $$ FB L D Daily SALT LIFE Food Shack, 1018 Third St. N., 372-4456, saltlife
JULINGTON CREEK
DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 525 S.R. 16, Ste. 101, 825-4540. BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA. METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. PIZZA PALACE, 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, 230-2171. F SEE BAYMEADOWS.
MANDARIN
AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 12926 Gran Bay Pkwy. W., 880-2008. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F SEE BEACHES.
ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199. F Dolmades (stuffed grape leaves), baby shoes (stuffed eggplant). Greek beers. $$ BW L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. BROOKLYN PIZZA, 11406 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 3, 288-9211. 13820 St. Augustine Rd., 880-0020. Brooklyn Special. Calzones, white pizza, homestyle lasagna. $$ BW TO L D Daily THE COFFEE BARD, 9735 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 13, 260-0810, thecoffeebard.com. New world coffeehouse has coffees, breakfast, drinks. $$ TO B L D Tue.-Sun. DICK’S WINGS, 10391 Old St. Augustine, 880-7087. F BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA. GIGI’S RESTAURANT, 3130 Hartley Rd., 694-4300, jaxramada.com. In Ramada. Prime rib, crab leg buffet Fri. & Sat., blue-jean brunch Sun., daily breakfast, lunch and dinner buffets. $$$ FB B R L D Daily GILMON’S BAKERY, 11362 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 13, 288-8128, gilmonsbakery.com. Custom cakes, cupcakes, gingerbread men, pies, cookies, coffee, tea. $$ B L Tue.-Sat. HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 30, 880-3040, harmoniousmonks.net. F American steakhouse: Angus steaks, burgers, ribs, wraps. $$ FB K L D Mon.-Sat. KAZU Japanese Restaurant, 9965 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 35, 683-9903, kazujapaneserestaurant.com. BOJ winner. Wide variety of soups, dumplings, appetizers, salads, bento boxes, sushi, entrées, maki handrolls, sashimi. $$ BW TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA, 11700 San Jose Blvd., 288-0175. F BOJ winner. Tamales, fajitas, pork tacos. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S SUBS, 11365 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 3, 674-2945. F SEE ORANGE PARK. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. Natural, organic soups, sandwiches, wraps, baked goods, prepared foods, juices, smoothies. Juice, smoothie and coffee bar. All-natural, organic beers, wines. Indoor, outdoor dining. $ BW TO K B L D Daily THE RED ELEPHANT PIZZA & GRILL, 10131 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 12, 683-3773, redelephantpizza.com. F Casual, family-friendly eatery serves steaks, seafood, chicken grill specials. Five topping selections. Salads, sandwiches, pizza. Gluten-free friendly. $ FB K L D Daily STEAMIN, 9703 San Jose Blvd., 493-2020, eatsteamin. com. Classic diner serves steam burgers, fat dogs and chili, 50+ craft beers. $ FB TO B Sat.-Sun.; L D Daily
ORANGE PARK
SEE MANDARIN.
MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999. F Bite Club. BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MOJO SMOKEHOUSE, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. F BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteys fishcamp.com. F Real fish camp. Gator tail, freshwater catfish, daily specials, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar. Come by boat, bike or car. $ FB K TO L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly YOUR PIE, 1545 C.R. 220, Ste. 125, 379-9771, yourpie.com. Owner Mike Sims’ concept: Choose from 3 doughs, 9 sauces, 7 cheeses, 40+ toppings. 5 minutes in a brick oven and ta-da: It’s your pie. Subs, sandwiches, gelato. $$ BW K TO L D Daily
INTRACOASTAL WEST
AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F SEE BEACHES.
DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 14286 Beach Blvd., 223-0115. F BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA. LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 14333 Beach Blvd., Ste. 39, 992-1666. F BOJ winner. Tamales, fajitas, pork tacos. Some La Nops have a full bar. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980. F SEE ORANGE PARK. TIME OUT SPORTS GRILL, 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5, 223-6999, timeoutsportsgrill.com. F Locally-ownedand-operated. Hand-tossed pizzas, wings, wraps. Daily drink specials, HDTVs, pool tables. Late-nite menu. $$ FB L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly
ARON’S PIZZA, 650 Park Ave., 269-1007, aronspizza. com. F Family-owned restaurant has eggplant dishes, manicotti, New York-style pizzas. $$ BW K TO L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 1540 Wells Rd., 269-2122. BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA. THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Road, 272-5959, hilltop-club. com. Southern-style fine dining. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. $$$ FB D Tue.-Sat. LA NOPALERA, 9734 Crosshill Blvd., 908-4250. 2024 Kingsley Ave., 276-2776. F BOJ winner. SEE MANDARIN. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 15, 272-3553. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove, 284-7789, larryssubs. com. F For 30+ years, they pile ’em high and serve ’em fast. Hot/cold subs, soups, salads. $ K TO B L D Daily POMPEII COAL-FIRED PIZZA, 2134 Park Ave., 264-6116. Family-owned-and-operated, offering pizzas and wings made in coal-fired ovens. Espresso, cappuccino. $ BW TO L D Daily THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611, roadhouseonline.net. F For 35-plus years, Roadhouse has been offering wings, sandwiches, burgers, quesadillas; 75+ imported beers. $ FB L D Daily THE SHEIK, 1994 Kingsley Ave., 276-2677. SEE ARLINGTON.
PONTE VEDRA, NW ST. JOHNS
AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A N., 543-1494. F SEE BEACHES. CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATE, 145 Hilden Rd., Ste. 122, 829-5790, claudeschocolate.com. Hand-crafted premium Belgian chocolate, fruits, nuts, spices. Cookies, popsicles. $$ TO DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 100 Marketside Ave., 829-8134, dickswingsandgrill.com. F BOJ winner. NASCAR-themed; 365 kinds of wings, 1/2-lb. burgers, ribs. $ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 830 A1A N., 273-3993. F SEE O.P. PUSSER’S BAR & GRILLE, 816 A1A N., Ste. 100, 280-7766, pussersusa.com. BOJ winner. Bite Club. Innovative Caribbean cuisine features regional faves: Jamaican grilled pork ribs, Trinidad smoked duck, lobster macaroni & cheese dinner. Tropical drinks. $$ FB K TO L D Daily RESTAURANT MEDURE, 818 A1A N., 543-3797, restaurant medure.us. Chef David Medure offers global flavors. Small plates, creative drinks, happy hour. $$$ FB D Mon.-Sat.
DINING DIRECTORY RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE
13 GYPSIES, 887 Stockton St., 389-0330, 13gypsies. com. BOJ winner. Intimate bistro serves authentic Mediterranean peasant cuisine updated for American tastes, specializing in tapas, blackened octopus, risotto of the day, coconut mango curry chicken. $$ BW L D Tue.-Sat. AKEL’S DELI, 245 Riverside Ave., 791-3336. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., Ste. 201, 388-8384. F SEE BEACHES.
BLACK SHEEP RESTAURANT, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, blacksheep5points.com. New American fare has a Southern twist, made with locally sourced ingredients. Rooftop bar. $$$ FB R Sat. & Sun.; L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 869 Stockton St., Stes. 1 & 2, 855-1181. BOJ winner. F Small-batch, artisanal coffee roasting. Organic, fair trade. $ BW TO B L Daily BREW FIVE POINTS, 1024 Park St., 714-3402, brewfive points.com. Local craft beer, espresso, coffee and wine bar. Rotating drafts, 75+ canned craft beers; sodas, tea. Rotating seasonal menu of waffles, pastries, toasts, desserts to pair with specialty coffees, craft beers. $$ BW K B L Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412. Made-fromscratch “Mexclectic street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free and vegetarian options. $ BW L D Daily.
DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 5972 San Juan Ave., 693-9258. BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA. EDGEWOOD BAKERY, 1012 S. Edgewood Ave., 389-8054, edgewoodbakery.com. BOJ winner. 66+ years, full-service bakery. Fresh breakfast, pastries, petit fours, pies, cakes. Espresso, sandwiches, smoothies. $$ K TO B L Tue.-Sat. EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 2753 Park St., 384-9999, europeanstreet.com. BOJ winner. 130+ imported beers, 20 on tap. NYC-style classic Reuben, sandwiches. Outside seating at some EStreets. $ BW K L D Daily GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. BOJ winner. F Juice bar; certified organic fruits, vegetables. 500+ craft/import beers, 250 wines, organic produce, humanely raised meats, deli, raw items, vegan, vitamins, herbs. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS ASIAN STREET FARE, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. BOJ winner. Authentic dishes from mobile stalls. $ BW TO L D Daily JOHNNY’S DELI & GRILLE, 474 Riverside Ave., 356-8055. This casual spot offers sandwiches, classic salads, homefries. One word: Reuben. $ TO B L Daily KNEAD BAKESHOP, 1173 Edgewood Ave. S. Locally-owned, family-run bake shop; made-from-scratch pastries, artisan breads, pies, specialty sandwiches, soups. $ TO B L Tue.-Sun. LARRY’S SUBS, 1509 Margaret, 674-2794. 7895 Normandy, 781-7600. 8102 Blanding, 779-1933. F SEE ORANGE PARK.
Photos by Caron Streibich
BITE-SIZED
BITE SIZED
THE ARTE OF THE PIE
Check out this hip, artsy pizza joint in Fernandina Beach
T
pizza (it cooks at temperatures higher than 700 hough it’s not on the main drag — Centre degrees!), we pondered the selections of Arte’s Street — in Fernandina Beach, Arte Pizza self-proclaimed artisanal pizzas. is a hip, well-decorated, comfortable spot We narrowed it down to the Paesana for lunch on the weekend or dinner anytime ($10.95), with tomato sauce, mozzarella, (except Tuesdays, because it’s closed). As I sausage and pepperoni, and the Caprina was walking by, the space itself sold me: open ($10.95), with tomato sauce, roasted tomato, kitchen with a view of the pizza oven, high mushrooms, fresh basil, goat cheese and extra ceilings, modern lighting, windows that let virgin olive oil. The Caprina should really be in a fresh breeze, and an arty, decorative wall renamed the Goat, for the overabundance of adorned with random mirrors and frames. goat cheese. It overshadowed everything else. On the lunch menu, we eyed crispy French The crust on both pizzas was crisp — and fries tossed in rosemary sea salt ($3.50) to slightly thicker than a typical wood-fired crust start, and I ordered a half-portion of the — and held up to the load Special salad ($9.95 full of toppings and sauce, size), with roasted red beets, but the sauce’s flavor was corn, diced tomato, roasted ARTE PIZZA & PASTA lacking. Maybe more salt red peppers, cucumbers, 109 N. Third St., Fernandina Beach, or spices? It was a Sunday, crumbled feta and a white 277-1515 and we arrived at noon, balsamic dressing. when Arte opened, so The portion was nicemaybe it was a fresh batch sized, and the fries were and needed to simmer longer? accompanied by a cup of ketchup, though I The pizzas are available in 10-inch and 14would have preferred an aioli to complement the rosemary. inch sizes; we found the 10-inch too heavy for My half salad was gigantic. I loved the lunch. I’d suggest splitting one if you’re starting uniqueness of having beets, roasted peppers, with anything else. There are also calzones, corn and feta. But if this were a creation of paninis, salads and souvlaki. At dinner, main mine, I’d add avocado. And the menu says dishes are also available, and nothing will set “mixed greens,” but it was actually hearts of you back more than $13.95. Romaine, which is fine but slightly misleading. Caron Streibich Eager to try the wood-fired, brick-oven biteclub@folioweekly.com FEBRUARY 18-24, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35
DINING DIRECTORY METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., Ortega, 999-4600. F BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MONROE’S Smokehouse BAR-B-Q, 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551, monroessmokehousebbq.com. Wings, pulled pork, brisket, turkey, ribs. Homestyle sides: beans, baked beans, mac-n-cheese, collards. $$ K TO L Mon.-Sat.; D Fri. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442. F BOJ winner. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. MOSSFIRE GRILL, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434, mossfire. com. F Southwestern fish tacos, enchiladas. Happy hour Mon.-Sat. upstairs lounge, all day Sun. $$ FB K L D Daily O’BROTHERS IRISH PUB, 1521 Margaret St., 854-9300, obrothersirishpub.com. F Traditional shepherd’s pie with Stilton crust, Guinness mac-n-cheese, fish-n-chips. Patio dining. $$ FB K TO L D Daily THE SHEIK, 7361 103rd St., 778-4805. 5172 Normandy Blvd., 786-7641. SEE ARLINGTON. SOUTHERN ROOTS FILLING STATION, 1275 King St., 513-4726, southernrootsjax.com. Healthy, light vegan fare made fresh daily with local, organic ingredients. Specials, served on bread, local greens or rice, change daily. Sandwiches, coffees, teas. $ Tue.-Sun. SUN-RAY CINEMA, 1028 Park St., 359-0049. F Beer (Bold City, Intuition), wine, pizza, hot dogs, hummus, sandwiches, popcorn, nachos, brownies. $$ BW Daily SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside Ave., 384-2888, sushicafejack sonville.com. Monster Roll, Jimmy Smith Roll; Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll. Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. Indoor or patio. $$ BW L D Daily
ST. AUGUSTINE
AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F SEE BEACHES. AVILES, 32 Avenida Menendez, 829-2277 F Hilton Bayfront. Progressive European menu; made-to-order pasta night, wine dinners, chophouse nights, breakfast buffet. Sun. champagne brunch bottomless mimosas. $$$ FB K B L D Daily CARMELO’S Marketplace & Pizzeria, 146 King St., 494-6658, carmelosmarketplace.com. F NY-style gourmet brick-oven-baked pizza, fresh rolls, Boar’s Head meats, cheeses, garlic herb wings. Outdoor dining, Wi-Fi. $$ BW TO L D Daily CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATE, 6 Granada St., 829-5790. In The Market. Wine and chocolate pairings, soft-serve ice cream, coffee bar, fresh fruit ice pops, cookies. $$ TO THE FLORIDIAN, 39 Cordova St., 829-0655, thefloridian staug.com. Updated Southern fare; fresh ingredients. Vegetarian, gluten-free. Fried green tomato bruschetta, grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D Wed.-Mon. GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F A local mainstay for 25+ years. The menu changes twice daily. Signature dish: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. Sun. brunch. $$ FB R Sun.; L D Daily THE ICE PLANT BAR, 110 Riberia St., 829-6553, iceplant bar.com. Farm-to-table, locally sourced fare, hand-crafted drinks, house-made bitters, syrups. $$$ FB TO D Nightly MELLOW MUSHROOM, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040. F Bite Club. BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MOJO OLD CITY BBQ, 5 Cordova, 342-5264. F BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. PACIFIC ASIAN BISTRO, 159 Palencia Village Dr., Ste. 111, 808-1818, pacificasianbistro.com. F Chef Mas Lui creates 30+ sushi rolls; fresh sea scallops, Hawaiian-style poke tuna salad. Sake. $$-$$$ BW L D Daily SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 321 A1A Beach Blvd., 217-3256, saltlifefoodshack.com. BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. TEMPO, 16 Cathedral Place, 547-0240. Latin American fusion wine bar and restaurant offers traditional American fare with a Latin flair; sandwiches, too. $$ BW L D Tue.-Sun.
ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER
BENTO CAFE Asian Kitchen & Sushi, 4860 Big Island Dr., Ste. 1, 564-9494, bentocafesushi.com. Pan-Asian, wok stir-fry, fire-grilled, sushi bar. $$ K FB TO L D Daily MOXIE KITCHEN+COCKTAILS, 4972 Big Island Dr., 998-9744, moxiefl.com. BOJ winner. Chef Tom Gray does contemporary American cuisine – seafood, steaks, pork, burgers – locally sourced when possible. $$$ FB K L Mon.-Fri.; D Nightly M SHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000, mshack burgers.com. F BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr., 900-7730, ovinte. com. European-style dining influenced by Italy, Spain, the Mediterranean. Small plates, entrée-sized portions, selections from the cheese a charcuterie menu. $$$ BW TO R D Daily
SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK
ALLURE THAI & SUSHI, 1004 Hendricks Ave., 674-0190, basilthaijax.com. F Authentic dishes: Pad Thai, curries, sashimi, fresh sushi, daily specials. $$ FB L D Mon.-Sat. BISTRO AIX, 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox. com. Mediterranean and French inspired cuisine includes steak frites, oak-fired pizza and a new raw bar with seasonal selections. $$$ FB TO L D Daily DICK’S WINGS, 1610 University Blvd. W., 448-2110. BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA. FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusionsushijax.com. F Upscale sushi spot serves a variety of fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu. $$ K L D Daily THE GROTTO Wine & Tapas Bar, 2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726. F Artisanal cheese plates, empanadas, bruschetta, cheesecake. 60+ wines by the glass. $$$ BW Tue.-Sun. HAMBURGER MARY’S Bar & Grille, 3333 Beach Blvd., Ste. 1, 551-2048, hamburgermarys.com. Wings, sammies, nachos, entrées, specialty drinks, burgers. $$ K TO FB L D Daily LA NOPALERA, 1631 Hendricks, 399-1768. F BOJ
36 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 18-24, 2015
winner. SEE MANDARIN. MEZZE BAR & GRILL, 2016 Hendricks Ave., 683-0693, mezzejax.com. Classic cocktails, fresh basil martinis, 35 draft beers, local/craft brews, Mediterranean cuisine. Hookah patio. Happy hour. $$ FB D Daily MATTHEW’S, 2107 Hendricks Ave., 396-9922, matthews restaurant.com. Chef Matthew Medure’s flagship. Fine dining, artfully presented cuisine, small plates, martini/wine lists. Happy hour Mon.-Fri. Reservations. $$$$ FB D Mon.-Sat. METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metrodiner.com. F BOJ winner. Original upscale diner. Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, soups. $$ B R L Daily MOJO BAR-B-QUE, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200. F BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. PIZZA PALACE, 1959 San Marco, 399-8815. F SEE
BAYMEADOWS.
PULP, 1962 San Marco Blvd., 396-9222, pulpaddiction. com. The juice bar offers fresh juices, frozen yogurt, teas, coffees, 30 kinds of smoothies. $ TO B L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco, 398-3005, tavernasanmarco. com. Chef Sam Efron’s authentic Italian; local produce, meats. Craft beers, handcrafted cocktails. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily
SOUTHSIDE, TINSELTOWN
360° GRILLE, Latitude 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555, latitude360.com. F Popular place serves seafood, steaks, burgers, chicken, sandwiches, pizza. Patio, movie theater. $$ FB TO L D Daily AKEL’S, 7077 Bonneval Rd., 332-8700. F SEE DOWNTOWN. ALHAMBRA THEATRE & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. USA’s longest-running dinner theater; Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus. Reservations. $$ FB D Tue.-Sun. BARBERITOS, 4320 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., Ste. 106, 807-9060. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. BENTO CAFE Asian Kitchen & Sushi, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 11, 503-3238. SEE ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER. CASA MARIA, 14965 Old St. Augustine, 619-8186. SEE BEACHES DANCIN DRAGON, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138D, 363-9888. BOGO lunches and an Asian fusion menu. $$ FB K L D Daily DICK’S WINGS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., 619-0954. BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA. THE DIM SUM ROOM, 9041 Southside, Ste. 138D, 363-9888, thedimsumroom.com. Shrimp dumplings, beef tripe, sesame ball. Traditional Hong Kong noodles, barbecue. $ FB K L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717. BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. HZ CAFE, 6426 Bowden Rd., Ste. 206, 527-1078. Healthy concept cafe: juices, smoothies, traditional vegan, vegetarian, gluten-free meals and desserts. $ K TO B L Mon.-Fri. LARRY’S SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F SEE ORANGE PARK. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955. F Bite Club. BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MONROE’S Smokehouse BAR B-Q, 10771 Beach Blvd., 996-7900, monroessmokehousebbq.com. SEE RIVERSIDE. PAPI CHULO’S, 9726 Touchton Rd., Ste. 105, 329-1763, ilovepapichulos.com. Tinseltown restaurant offers fresh, authentic Mexican street food, top-shelf tequilas, specialty drinks. Kids eat free. $$ K FB L D Daily THE PIG BAR-B-Q, 11925 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5, 619-0321, thepigbarbq.com. Fourth-generation barbecue institution has been family-owned for 60+ years. The signature item is mustard-based “pig sauce.” $ BW K TO B, L D Daily SEVEN BRIDGES Grille & Brewery, 9735 Gate Pkwy., 997-1999, 7bridgesgrille.com. F Local seafood, steaks, pizzas. Brewer Aaron Nesbit handcrafts ales, lagers. $$ FB K TO L D Daily TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Ct., 854-0426, tavernayamas.com. F Bite Club. Char-broiled kabobs, seafood, wines, desserts. Belly dancing. $$ FB K L D Daily TOMMY’S Brick Oven Pizza, 4160 Southside, Ste. 2, 565-1999, tbopizza.com. New York-style thin crust, brickoven-baked pizzas (gluten-free), calzones, sandwiches. Boylan’s soda. Curbside pick-up. $$ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE VISCONDE’S Argentinian Grill, 11925 Beach Blvd., Ste. 201, 379-3925. The area’s only Argentinian place. Traditional steaks, varieties of sausages, pasta, sandwiches, empañadas, wines. $$$ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun. WORLD OF BEER, 9700 Deer Lake Court, Ste. 1, 551-5929, worldofbeer.com. F Burgers, sliders,flatbreads, German pretzels, hummus, pickle chips. Craft German, Cali, Florida, Irish drafts. Wines. $$ BW L D Daily
SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE
HOLA Mexican Restaurant, 1001 N. Main St., 356-3100, holamexicanrestaurant.com. F Fajitas, burritos, enchiladas, daily specials. Happy hour; sangria. $ BW K TO L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S SUBS, 12001 Lem Turner Rd., 764-9999. SEE ORANGE PARK.
SAVANNAH BISTRO, 14670 Duval Rd., 741-4404. F Low Country Southern fare, taste of Mediterranean and French. Crowne Plaza Airport. Crab cakes, NY strip, she crab soup, mahi mahi. $$$ FB K B L D Daily THE SHEIK, 2708 N. Main St., 353-8181. SEE ARLINGTON. UPTOWN MARKET, 1303 Main St. N., 355-0734, uptown marketjax.com. Bite Club. Fresh quality fare; farm-totable selections, daily specials. $$ BW TO B L Daily
To get your restaurant listed, call your Folio Weekly account manager or Sam Taylor at 904.260.9770 ext. 111 or staylor@folioweekly.com.
ASTROLOGY
MOJO, SIBERIA, TIME WARPS AND SCRABBLE ARIES (March 21-April 19): Lately your life reminds me of the action film Speed, with Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves. In that story, a criminal rigs a passenger bus to explode if its speed drops below 50 miles per hour. You seem to be acting as if you, too, will self-destruct if you stop moving at a frantic pace. Nothing bad will happen if you slow down. Just the opposite, in fact. Clear your schedule of its excessive things-to-do, leisurely explore the wonders of doing nothing in particular – you’ll experience a soothing flood of healing pleasure.
what you have to offer. You make more headway and have greater impact in situations where your particular beauty, power and skills are in short supply. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “Learn all you can from the mistakes of others. You won’t have to make them all your yourself.” So said Alfred Sheinwold in his book about the card game bridge. It’s excellent advice for the game of life. It should be extra pertinent in the weeks ahead, because folks in your area will be making gaffes and wrong turns useful to study. In the future, you’d be wise to avoid perpetrating similar messes.
OVERSET
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): One of the most dazzling moves a ballet dancer can do is the fouetté en tournant, French for “whipped turning.” As she executes a 360-degree turn, the dancer spins on the tip of one foot. Her other foot thrusts outward and then bends in, as her toes touch the knee of her supporting leg. Can you imagine a dancer doing this 32 consecutive times? The best do. It takes extensive practice and a high degree of concentration and discipline. Paradoxically, it expresses breathtaking freedom and exuberance. You may not be a prima ballerina, but in your field there’s an equivalent to the fouetté en tournant. Now’s a great time to take a vow and make plans to master that skill. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): If you’re a martial artist and you want to inject extra energy into an aggressive move, you may give a percussive shout that sounds like “eee-yah!” or “hyaah!” or “aiyah!” The Japanese term for this sound is kiai. The sonic boost is most effective if it starts deep in the diaphragm rather than the throat. Even if you’re not a martial artist, in the weeks ahead, try this boisterous style of yelling. It may help summon extra power and confi dence you’ll need to successfully wrestle the interesting challenges ahead. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Prolific, popular French novelist Aurore Dupin was better known by her pseudonym George Sand. Few 19th-century women matched her rowdy behavior. She wore men’s clothes, smoked cigars, was a staunch feminist, and frequented social venues where only men were usually allowed. Yet she was also a doting mother to her two children, loved to garden, make jam, and do needlework. Among her many lovers were writers Alfred de Musset, Jules Sandeau and Prosper Mérimée, composer Frederic Chopin and actress Marie Dorval. She preferred to work midnight to 6 a.m., often sleeping until 3 p.m. “What a brave man she was,” said Russian author Ivan Turgenev, “and what a good woman.” Her astrological sign? The same as you and me. She’s feisty proof not all Crabs are fuddy-duddies. In the weeks ahead, she’s our role model. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You’ve slipped into a time warp. Is that a bad thing? I don’t think so. Your adventures there may twist and tweak a warped part of your psyche in such a way that it gets healed. At the very least, your visit will reverse the effects of an old folly and correct a problem caused by past sins. By the way, when I say “sin,” I mean “being lax about following your dreams.” There’s only one potential problem: Some people in your life could misinterpret what’s happening. To prevent that, communicate crisply every step of the way. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In English and French versions of word game Scrabble, the letter z is worth 10 points. In Italian, it’s eight. In the Polish variant of Scrabble, you score just one point by using z. That letter is rarely used in the other three languages, but it’s common in Polish. Keep this general principle in mind as you assess the value of
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “Love her but leave her wild,” advised a graffiti artist who put his thoughts on a wall next to a mirror in a public restroom I visited recently. Another guerrilla philosopher wrote in his own comment: “That’s a nice sentiment, but how can anyone retain wildness in a society that puts so many demands on us in exchange for money to live?” I happened to have a felt-tip pen, so I scrawled a response to the question: “Be in nature every day. Move your body a lot. Remember and work with your dreams. Be playful. Have good sex. Infuse any little thing you do with a creative twist. Hang out with animals. Eat with your fi ngers. Sing regularly.” That’s also my message during this phase when it’s so crucial to nurture your wildness. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “Don’t worry, even if things get heavy, we’ll all float on.” So sings the vocalist Isaac Brock of the band Modest Mouse on the group’s song “Float On.” Consider giving that approach a try. Things will no doubt get heavy in the days ahead, but if you float on, the heaviness will be a good, rich, soulful heaviness, a purifying heaviness that purges any glib or shallow influences in your sphere. It’ll be a healing heaviness, giving graceful gravitas you need. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “What I look for in a friend is someone who’s different from me,” says science-fiction novelist Samuel Delany. “The more different the person is, the more I’ll learn from him. The more he’ll come up with surprising takes on ideas and things and situations.” What about you? What are a friend’s qualities that help you thrive? Now’s a perfect time to take inventory. There are potential new allies wandering near that become part of your life only if you adjust and update attitudes about influences you value most. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): At the turn of the 19th century, Russian laborers constructed thousands of miles of railroad tracks from the western part of the country eastward to Siberia. The hardest part of the job was blasting tunnels through the many mountains on the way. I reckon you’re at a comparable point in your work. Time to smash gaping holes through obstacles. Don’t scrimp or apologize. Clear the way for the future. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): British rockers The Animals released the gritty, growly song “The House of the Rising Sun” in 1964. It hit the top of pop music charts in the U.S., Canada, U.K. and Australia, and was a hit with critics. Rolling Stone magazine later ranked it as the 122nd greatest song of all time. Yet it took the band just 15 minutes to record, in one take. That’s the kind of beginner’s luck and spontaneous flow you have in the weeks ahead. What’s the best way to channel soulful mojo? Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com
NEWS OF THE WEIRD HEARTSTOPPING It turns out that a person having a heart attack is usually safer to be in an ambulance headed to a hospital than to already be a patient in a hospital, according to a study by University of North Carolina researchers. It takes longer, on average, for non-ER hospital staff to comply with hospital protocols in ordering and evaluating tests (nearly three hours, according to the study) than it does for ER (and ambulance) staff, who treat every case of cardiac symptoms as life-threatening. Overall, according to a February Wall Street Journal report, the study found the mortality rate for heart-attack victims treated in emergency rooms is 4 percent, compared to 40 percent for patients already admitted for other reasons and then suffering heart attacks. UH-OH The man hospitalized in fair condition in January after being rammed from behind by a car while on his bicycle happened to be Darryl Isaacs, 50, one of the most ubiquitously advertising personal-injury lawyers in Louisville, Kentucky. Isaacs calls himself the “Heavy Hitter” and the “Kentucky Hammer” for his aggressiveness on behalf of, among other clients, victims of traffic collisions. The (soon-to-be-poorer) driver told police the sun got in his eyes. ELEPHANTS IN LOVE India TV reported in January that a wild male elephant from an adjoining sanctuary had broken into the Nandan Kanan zoo in Odisha, wildly besotted with a female, Heera. The male cast aside two other females trying to protect Heera and mated with her. The male lingered overnight until zookeepers could shoo him away. A frisky male elephant crushed four cars in 10 days in January at Thailand’s Khao Yai National Park — the result, said a park veterinarian, of the stress of the mating season. Only the last car was occupied, and no injuries were serious.
PUMP BLUES While nearly all Americans enjoy low gasoline prices, residents of sea-locked Alaskan towns (Barrow, Kotzebue, Nome, Ketchikan) have continued to pay their same hefty prices ($7 a gallon, according to one January report on Alaska Dispatch News). Though the price in Anchorage and Fairbanks resembles that in the rest of America, unconnected towns can be supplied only during a four-month breather from icy sea conditions and thus received their final winter shipments last summer. The price the supplier was forced to pay then dictates pump prices until around May or June. THE EVER-VALUABLE INTERNET In January, “Captain Mercedes,” a registered user of the Reddit.com social media site, announced he’d compiled a data file cataloguing every bowel movement he had in 2014 and was offering the file to other users to design hypotheses and visual representations of the data in ways that might improve his relationship with his alimentary canal. According to the data-analysis website FiveThirtyEight.com, the “researcher” used the standard “Bristol stool scale” (seven categories of excreta, by shape and consistency) “and produced interesting hypotheses in the ensuing Reddit conversation.” SUSPICIONS CONFIRMED A January examination of New York City records through NYC Open Data found that the five most common first names of taxicab drivers licensed by the city are five variations in the spelling of the name “Mohammed.” The last McDonald’s burger to be sold in Iceland before the chain abandoned the country in 2009 has been on open display at the National Museum of Iceland and was recently moved to the Bus Hostel in Reykjavik, “still in good condition,” according to the hostel manager. “Some people have even stolen some of the fries.” Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net
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Funny Business
74 James of the Met 75 Kill Bill first name 76 Decisive strike 78 Walkie-talkie answer 79 Cohesion ACROSS 80 Swimwear shop’s 1 Mythical bird monster name? 6 Scott Joplin works 83 Portend 10 Knucklehead 84 Sam Adams alternative 14 Slang for movies about 85 Intents and purposes movies, or puzzles 86 Extinguish within puzzles 87 Minimum 19 Like gymnasts 89 Saturn’s daughter 20 Cape Canaveral’s loc. 90 Home of the Mavs 21 Roman rebuke 92 Vintage record store’s 22 TV sports pioneer name? Arledge 97 Pretense 23 Furniture store’s 100 Burning sensation name? 101 Fortran developer 25 Fromage shop’s 102 FBI employee: abbr. name? 103 Put on the payroll 27 Word in a turning lane 104 Fried Southern side 28 Sink or swim, e.g. 105 Tailor shop’s name? 29 Hair dryer? 108 Maternity shop’s 30 “It’s a ___ thing” name? 31 Like Tickle Me Elmo 110 Ridiculous 32 Bill of science 111 Vintners’ valley 33 Antique store’s name? 112 James’ Oscars co-host 37 Hall of country music 113 Like some saves 38 Valuable vein 114 French noodles? 39 Sorting formations 115 Winter break? 40 “Not to worry” 116 Hornets’ home 43 Wayward G.I. 117 Female donkey 44 Fashionable 45 Repair for a tear DOWN 49 Coffee shop’s name? 1 Is wearing 53 Jeopardy 2 Major pain 54 “Like, forever” 3 Elmer Fudd prop 55 Tinker-Chance link 4 Frolic 56 Like Eddie Redmayne: 5 “That is correct!” abbr. 6 University VIP 57 Happen to 7 ___ in the road 58 Big bang letters 8 Tiff’s opposite ... in the extreme 59 Zipped 9 Sack adjective 60 Ambulatory equipment store’s name? 10 Make up one’s mind 62 God with a hammer 11 SNL alum Cheri 63 Book with a lock 12 Wino’s woe 65 Third word of Jumpin’ 13 Friendly Jack Flash 14 Villainous alter-ego 66 Bouquet shop’s name? 15 Job ad abbr. 70 “I’m ___ you, mister!” 16 Start of a forgiveness adage 71 Preschooler
I found these on the Internet and seen a couple in real life; I assume most exist or did exist at one time.
1
2
3
4
5
6
19
7
24
27
28
32
41
S P R I T
T R U T H
10
58
M E H T M A D A B I N S E I N G S A D O N U L A O N A G I V I S O N E H O U I C E S N T O N O O A R S I N E MO L A R A L G I S I E E S R
11
T O E R N A T H R O T P E Y A
13
45
Z E A L
M E N D
O D D S
E A T O N
E L U C I
D E P O T
16
17
18
46
47
48
71
72
73
97
98
99
65
76
84
77
78
81
82
85
86
89
90
95
91
96
102 107
I N G E OW R
61
70
80
106
V A L I
57
64
75
101
O T R A G T F A A I N G I S S T S T O H P E I S N S T L I A M W I
R H E
S E N O R
53
69
88
P R O N E
36
52
94
15
S A R A H
31
44
63
74
14
A W A I T
A C C O M M O
26
56
68
100
M O R I
35
51
62
87
O L E A R Y
A B B A O R I E L D H A N D S E S M A F O R E A C T E S T E C I T E E O N E S A N R A M R S N O N O F F A G M A I L M I N O R N E N I G H O S O N T M Z E I R E Y E R E A D Y P I N N E D E S I C I N T O E
22
60
79
W A L D E N
39
59
83
12
O R E I D A
30
43
55
105
D N E S L C A
T E S S
29
42
54
93
P E T A
F L U O R I
38
50
92
A S A P
E L U T E
34
49
67
L I Q U I
25
33
67 Funny car collector 68 Banished Roman poet 69 Talk-show lineup 70 “It’s either them ___” 71 Protein-rich food 72 Work 73 Bang out, e.g. 76 Key part of calf roping 77 One has one 78 Oaf 80 Water heater spot, often 81 Be there in spirit? 82 Slight advantage 84 Stinging remarks 88 Ruling classes 89 ___ puzzle 90 Director Schroeder 91 Rapper whose name sounds like a drink 92 Come by 93 2011 hurricane 94 Not well-versed in 95 The Bucs stop here 96 Portrays in words 97 Rubber hub, once 98 What Jack broke 99 Like a lion’s coat 104 Look up and down 106 Salt suffix 107 “___, go on, beat it!” 108 Pale 109 Pt. of a sentence
Solution to Double Dating (2/11/15) C L E A T
21
37
66
9
20
23
40
8
17 Photography first name 18 Like lemons 24 Baby-to-be, maybe 26 Inaptly named Stooge 29 Confuse 33 Be funny 34 Places for vases 35 Bath need 36 Grammy-winning Gloria 37 Gives a lift to, in a way 40 “Suuure” 41 Jeff Bridges ’82 sci-fi film 42 In the mail 43 Dumbstruck 44 Thin, as sound 46 Part of U.A.E. 47 Just what the doctor ordered 48 Palindromic magazine 50 Topple 51 Deflect 52 Almost at hand 53 Director Almodóvar 57 C neighbors 59 Freshly minted 60 Ceiling 61 Yokel Yokum 62 Without originality 63 Creator of Aramis 64 Non-PC choice 66 Botch
103
104
108
109
110
111
112
113
114
115
116
117
FEBRUARY 18-24, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37
HELP WANTED
HELLO, YOUNG LOVERS (aka ISU writers)! The limit for ISU notices is 40 words ONLY. No messages with more than 40 words will be accepted. Please keep your message short & sweet. Thanks! NICE TO MEET YOU You: Tall, handsome, broken wrist. Me: Cute, athletic, long sandy hair. Helped me sign out paddleboard; said it was nice to meet. Maybe you caught my name; don’t know yours. Meet 11 a.m. Feb. 13 at the lake. When: Jan. 31. Where: UNF Lake Oneida. #1506-0211 ASIAN GODDESS SNAP FITNESS Me: Purposefully stretching longer, in safe creeping distance. You: Gleaming from sweat, holding handstand a respectable amount of time! Took off shoes, socks; caught me watching. Kept gaze. You smiled, continued poses. Left before drool commenced. When: Jan. 20. Where: Snap Fitness. #1505-0204 HOTTIE IN A HAMMOCK You: Tall, leggy, brunette, great skin, rocking in hammock by her pool. Me: Scotch-loving bald guy who still loves a Fierce Polish Viking. Hoping you’ll rock me tonight like your body rocks in that hammock. When: Jan. 28. Where: Beside the pool. #1504-0128 HOT COFFEE MAN You: tall, dark hair, carrying Starbucks. Me: tall, yellow shirt. ISU at Starbucks 20 minutes earlier; again in parking garage stairwell. You held door open for me, I smiled, thanked you. Did you remember me? Let’s get coffee. When: Jan. 22. Baptist Medical Ctr. Garage. #1503-0128 BAYMEADOWS BUSINESS You: Bald white guy, sharp dresser, older white Saturn. Me: Slim white guy. Had my eye on you; said hi when you wished me Happy Holidays on Christmas Eve. Let’s have lunch sometime! When: Dec. 24. Where: Baymeadows management company. #1502-0114 FILL HER UP You: Tall, handsome, blue shirt that said “Refill.” Me: Sexy, in orange dress. Looking for headphones; made small talk. Wanted to request your number, but you looked exhausted from work. Let’s make beautiful music, Mr. Refill. When: Dec. 30. Where: Best Buy. #1501-0107 LOVER FOUND AT WALMART REGISTER? Sunday, 0:45 a.m., S’s register. You: Tan jacket, eyeglasses, nice-looking man, very friendly, holiday spirit. Me: Blue jeans, jeans jacket, right behind you. Should’ve carried conversation further. Looked for you later. When: Dec. 21. Where: Normandy Walmart. #1500-0107 8-8-14; MEANING OF TIME? Easy answer. Time means nothing, absolutely nothing outside context of you. Hours seem like hours, days like days. Dice don’t match. Cards on my heart’s table come up different. Don’t fret; the UNIverse loves us; it’s MASTER of time. When: Aug. 8. Where: Pagan Idol. #1436-1224 TELL[ER] ME ABOUT YOU You: Nice, redheaded, long braid bank teller, remembered my papa’s last name. Me: Young, blonde-bearded, with white-bearded retired police officer. Let’s have coffee sometime; offi cially meet! When: Dec. 19 FOP Christmas Party. Where: FOP Lodge #530. #1435-1224 LOVED THE SHOW... You: Brunette, glasses, stunningly beautiful; upstairs with some guys. Loved watching you put on lipstick; you looked at me, eyes communicated deep hunger. My girlfriend told you I thought you were beautiful. I’d love to talk. Me: Long-sleeved green shirt. You know. When: Dec. 13. Where: OP Kennel Clubhouse. #1434-1224 HOPE WOMAN I SAW READS THIS... You: long, black, curly hair, glasses, tan complexion, beautiful smile!; headed to NY. Me: Non-descript white guy. Not sure if you saw me; thought we locked eyes. Couldn’t keep my eyes off you! Remember? When: Dec. 4. Where: Jax International Airport. #1433-1224 DEM PINSTRIPES THO ... Light glittered off your beautiful bald head. Gave me that look, poured drink. Hands touched as you gave me the glass. Instantly knew you’re my only bartender. Liked big orange you gave me. Personal bartender? When: Dec. 13. Where: Time Out Sportsbar & Grill. #1432-1217
38 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 18-24, 2015
V. AND T. AT TOWN CENTER ISU at Aeropostale and American Eagle where we introduced one another. I didn’t want to ask you for your number in front of my daughter. I’d love to see you again, T. When: Dec. 10. Where: Town Center. #1431-1217 SAMSUNG MAN AT BJ’s We both purchased Samsung Chrome on Sunday. You said I’d like keyboard. I said: hope I can get used to it; wanted to ask are you married? Me: Tall, light-skinned. You: Brown, handsome. If unattached, look me up. When: Dec. 7. Where: BJ’s Atlantic Blvd. #1430-1217 MISSING TOOTH GIRL You: Attractive girl, purple dress, missing a front teeth. Me: Handsome devil, orange tank top. I commented I liked your gap before I realized it was a missing tooth. Let’s hop back, get a fountain drink together? When: Dec. 4. Where: Kangaroo San Pablo. #1429-1210 LIBRARY LOOKER There was nothing spooky about you staring at me, the redhead, on Halloween from Deerwood library check-out line. Tall guy in jeans, what would’ve happened had I held your lengthy stare? Let me know. When: 11:30 a.m. Oct. 31. Where: Southeast Regional Library. #1428-1203 CAN’T GET U OUTTA MY MIND ISU at hospital visit; made my heart pump fast. You: prettiest nurse in white and blue; finest shape, lips, hips, face. If you were mine, I’d hold you in my arms, treat you like a queen. When: Nov. 26. Where: St. Vincent’s Hosp. #1427-1203 LOML – SKY OCEAN GALAXY Handsome professional, great shoulders and electrifying smile wearing a tie. All others hands-off! When: Nov. 23. Where: Southside. #1426-1203 HANDSOME DOG LOVER AT INTUITION You: Handsome man, orange shirt, lots of friends. Me: Short, green-eyed brunette, blue shirt. You asked about my dog, white German shepherd, seemed to like you. Single? Meet at Intuition 11/28, same time? When: Nov. 21. Where: Intuition Ale Works. #1425-1126 YOU DIDN’T LEAVE! We stared across bar, like we knew it was beginning of deepest connection, friendship, and love we’d ever know. Haven’t left... Slainte! kanpai! Drink your Dirty Girl Scout. Here’s to finding each other again. Really like you! When: April 2011. Where: Bomba’s. #1424-1126 CUTIE ON A SUZUKI You: Stylish, curly-haired cutie on Suzuki cafe racer. Me: Raven-haired lass, gray VW Jetta. Sipped coffee at light, turning on Riverside. Looked left, noticed Suzuki. Liked your shoes, style, dirty-blonde locks under helmet. Meet for drink? When: Nov. 12. Where: Riverside Ave. #1423-1119 BEARDED HOTTIE, SILVER FORD You: Behind me on 95N from Baymeadows to I-10 interchange on 11/4 at 3 p.m.; Nassau tag, dark beard, ball cap, amazing smile. Me: Brown SUV. Can’t get you out of my mind. Can we meet? When: Nov. 4, 3 p.m. Where: Baymeadows & I-95. #1422-1112 I SAW U Connection Made!
PULLING FOR ORIOLES You: Cranberry shirt, said to me, “I was pulling for them” referring to my Orioles T-shirt. Me: Orioles T-shirt, I said “Yeah” and kept walking. Wish I would have started a conversation. Let’s talk! When: Oct. 26. Where: Publix on Hodges. #1421-1105 I SAW U Connection Made!
RUNNING SHIRTLESS You: It was around 6:20, you were running through Memorial Park. Caught me checking you out. Me: Wearing the blue shirt. We smiled, I watched you run off – quite a sight. We need to run together. When: Oct. 22. Where: Memorial Park. #1420-1029
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SIZE MATTERS
BACKPAGE EDITORIAL
A parable of cars, bicycles, elephants and ants
G
ather round, kids. Park your bicycles here in this specified lot set well off from the road, and take off your bike helmets and other bike-safety equipment. Today’s story is called “On the Jungle Path, Size Does Matter.” By the law of the jungle, both the ants and the elephants have the legal right to travel along the jungle paths. To facilitate this travel, a whole framework of guidelines was established specifically geared toward keeping the path traffic flowing smoothly. Collectively called The Rules of the Path, these guidelines laid out an easy-to-follow system setting up how both parties could most efficiently, uniformly and safely get around. As important as The Rules of the Path are in keeping traffic flowing, there was something else even more so responsible for maintaining the system. This something else was the simple acknowledgment of the gross disparity between the size of the ants and the size of the elephants. Because of this disparity, some common-sense considerations came into play during everyday navigation of the paths. The legislature of the jungle certainly showed common sense in understanding the size difference. Acting accordingly, the lawmakers set aside special lanes of the jungle paths for use by the ants only. Specialized training was introduced into path school and ant-safety courses. Visibility and awareness became second nature to any and all path users, and the size-does-matter sensibility ruled as the law of the land. For example, at a busy jungle path intersection, both the elephants and the ants that are turning left have the right to use the left turn lane. While the letter of the law does maintain that right, the spirit of the law shows that it may not be the safest or most sensible
wide. Time of day, weather conditions, road construction — all could play some role in a collision between ant and elephant. Whatever the reason, the surety is that because of the aforementioned size difference, when elephant and ant collide, it is always the ant that suffers the most damage. This truth was more often than not heartbreaking to the elephants, who of course had no control over being born their size. Most sensible ants realized that, too, and felt compassion toward all involved in these mishaps. There were, however, parties on both sides who did not take the truisms as level-headedly. There were those ants that took umbrage at what they felt was victimization, and felt that size was simply an excuse that the elephants were hiding behind. And there were those elephants that felt that the ants were using the flipside of the size issue to garner sympathy and special privileges. This unrest did not bode well for safety on the jungle paths, and when it went proactive, it got much worse. Some self-righteous zealots expressed their disenchantment by taking it even further, committing, if not acts of civil disobedience, then at least action in violation of both the Rules of the Path and common everyday decency. Instead of traveling single-file in the ant lane as most law-abiding ants do, rogue packs of ants began traveling side-by-side, pushing far past the designated ant lanes and into the areas of elephant movement. Certain ants took to nimbly weaving in and out of traffic, taunting the elephants, whose size precluded such maneuverability. In response, there were those elephants that had no problem with throwing things at ants on the path. There were those that used their size to spook the ants by suddenly swerving into the ant lanes, or that purposefully cut off ants at
This unrest made traveling the jungle paths an experience of ANXIETY, FEAR and ANGER – for both ant and elephant. situation for the ants to be in the left turn lane among their much larger co-travelers. This is not due to some elitist elephant attitude but rather the obvious fact that the mass of the elephant is thousands of times greater than that of the ant. For this reason, common sense dictates that a better plan would be for the ants to stay to the right until they come to the jungle path crosswalk and then move perpendicular to the jungle traffic when they have the right of way. While such smoothly flowing situations became de rigueur on the paths, simply from the sheer amount of ant and elephant traffic, the occasional accident did happen. Perhaps an ant would swerve unexpectedly to the left in order to avoid a bump in the path, or an elephant would take a right turn just a hair too
intersections just because they could. As these abhorrent actions continued and tensions rose, the number of accidents climbed as well. This did nothing but clog up the courts, take up valuable police and traffic resources, raise overall insurance rates, and waste valuable civil service time, which could have been spent dealing with more important issues. Most distressing of all, this unrest made traveling the jungle paths an experience of anxiety, fear and anger — for both ant and elephant. It took a horrific ant and elephant dual fatality directly linked to this unrest for both sides to finally say enough is enough. It took nothing less than two meaningless deaths for the ants and elephants to collectively agree that travel on the jungle paths was not a matter of rights and rules. It wasn’t about legislation and regulation. It most certainly wasn’t a matter of “us against them.” Both parties acknowledged that sometimes the elephants did something stupid, whether on purpose or not, and when they did, the ants knew to just step back and let the elephants rumble on by, knowing that in any way trying to respond to an elephant transgression could only result in tragedy. In the same way, when the ants slipped up, the elephants knew that absolutely no good could come from acting rashly in response to some perceived slight. Kids, the jungle paths are there for everyone’s use. The right to travel on these paths should be seen as a privilege, and as such should be treated with the utmost respect for the rules both written and unwritten. Safety is a given when there is mutual recognition of the uniqueness of each species, especially as that uniqueness pertains to mass and velocity. It’s even perfectly OK if the elephants are seen as lumbering Fatty-McFat-Fats and the ants as self-righteous DooDooBags. These iniquities will cancel each other out as long as we do everything we can to maintain the mindset that no matter what the laws, no matter what the rules, on the jungle paths — say it with me, kids — size does matter. Johnny Masiulewicz mail@folioweekly.com
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FEBRUARY 18-24, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 39