2 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 9-15, 2016
MARCH 9-15, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 3
FROM THE EDITOR
BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU
WISH FOR
4 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 9-15, 2016
I’M GLAD NANCY REAGAN IS DEAD. It’s not that I wish her or her family ill will, nor do I harbor (much) resentment over her role propagating the ineffective and massively disenfranchising War on Drugs. In spite of her misguided, well-intentioned “Just say no” campaign, by all accounts Nancy Reagan was a great lady, a charming, caring and honorable woman befitting the position of First Lady of the United States. I’m still glad she’s dead. I do not rejoice in her death, but I’m glad for it because in death this great lady will not continue to bear witness to the humiliating descent of the Republican Party, as evidenced by Republican frontrunner and likely presidential nominee, Donald J. Trump (Drumpf to those who prefer the original recipe hilariously exposed on a recent episode of Last Week Tonight with John Oliver). I’ll spare you from the many arguments against Trump serving as the leader of our country save one: He’s not fit for the office of President of the United States. Period. And yet he persists, gathering minions of enthusiastic supporters at every campaign stop, crushing the competition with crude vernacular and coarse comebacks that leave them howling and running for the safety of Mitt Romney’s loving, endorsing arms. Romney, who, like Mr. and Mrs. Reagan, is at minimum capable of representing this country with dignity, respect and common sense, is, like most thinking persons, horrified by the rise of the tangerine-tinted enfant terrible, so horrified he says he would endorse Ted Cruz — a man so notoriously unlikable that not even George W. Bush would hire him (and he chose Dick Cheney as a running mate!) — before he’d endorse The Drumpf. By now there have been so many think pieces written about Donald J. Drumpf that those who oppose him need scarcely type the ‘u’ in his legal name before a slate of thoughtful, eloquent and intriguing suggestions come a’howling, Ginsberg-style, into the browser window. But none of these hundreds of brilliant writers and thinkers has done much to assuage rabid support for the Drumpf blitzkrieg. I’m not the first to point out that the tidal wave of Drumpf is basically the result of eight, nay, twelve, nay, fourteen years of the Republican establishment capitalizing on fear and hatred, cleverly cloaked with patriotism, to drum up voter turnout. It’s been a winning strategy. And if
all you care about is winning, it’s brilliant. Look at the Republican majority in both Congress and the Senate if you don’t believe me. And it all began with a plane; well, four planes. The morning of September 11, 2001 was bright and sunny on the Eastern Seaboard; we were less than a year into the presidency of George W. Bush, a candidate who squeaked out a victory on either his daddy’s coattails, a conservatively biased Supreme Court or voter indifference, depending on whom you poll, when terrorists shattered the peaceful, post-Cold War lull and killed nearly 3,000 innocent civilians. Americans weren’t indifferent after the World Trade Centers collapsed. The aftermath of 9/11 saw George W., a mediocre president at best (yet at least twice as capable as that ignorant insult to intellectuals everywhere), catapult to a 90 percent approval rating; nearly every American stand idly by as the Patriot Act suspended the sacred writ of habeas corpus along with numerous other constitutional protections; and our nation begin not one, but two foreign wars that we continue paying for in both currency and the blood of our soldiers. The terrorist attacks of 9/11 also gave rise to the hyper-militant, anti-immigration, all-American-asshole brand of Republican. Take Toby Keith for example: Pre-9/11, Keith was just a puffy country crooner; post-9/11, he became so fervently pro-war that he wrote a song that included the lyrics, “We’ll put a boot in your ass, it’s the American way,” and so anti-dissent that he started a feud with the Dixie Chicks for daring to voice opposition to the president. That Keith later admitted that he’d embarrassed himself was of little consequence; the damage was done. Now no biography of him can ever be written without that embarrassing chapter. That’s what Donald J. Drumpf is to the Republican Party that spent a century spearheading efforts to establish equal rights only to squander those efforts by backtracking over the course of several decades until the only borderline sane person who could cast a vote for its likely presidential nominee will most certainly have to be white and male. Drumpf is their post-9/11 Toby Keith. And they should be embarrassed. But at least Nancy Reagan, may she rest in peace, doesn’t have to live to see what’s become of her — and her husband’s — party. Claire Goforth claire@folioweekly.com
THIS WEEK // 3.9-3.15.16 // VOL. 29 ISSUE 50 COVER STORY
WHAT’S THE COST OF [12]
SOLAR?
JEA’s proposed changes to its NET METERING program have renewable energy advocates UP IN ARMS STORY BY SUSAN COOPER EASTMAN PHOTOS BY DENNIS HO
FEATURED ARTICLES
LENNY CURRY’S POLITICAL CAPITAL
[9] GETTING ON THEIR LEVEL
BY AG GANCARSKI What does winning look like for RUBIO AND THE MAYOR?
[10]
BY JULIE DELEGAL Theatre Jacksonville educator meets SPECIAL NEEDS KIDS in their comfort zone
THE KANGAROO KID
[26]
BY DANNY KELLY Florida’s own songstress Laney Jones has a banjo-driven, SIGNATURE INDIE FOLK sound
COLUMNS + CALENDARS FROM THE EDITOR 4 OUR PICKS 6 MAIL/B&B 8 FIGHTIN’ WORDS 9 CITIZEN MAMA 10 FILM/MAGIC LANTERNS 20 ARTS 22
MUSIC LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR THE KNIFE DINING BITE-SIZED PINT-SIZED PETS
25 27 29 30 31 32 34
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SHAMROCK ’N’ ROLL!
ST. AUGUSTINE CELTIC MUSIC & HERITAGE FESTIVAL
Looking for a reason to celebrate your Irish roots, while wearing a little green hat and paste-on orange beard? Look no further! The St. Augustine Celtic Music & Heritage Festival includes Highland games, a parade, whiskey-tasting, clans, traditional foods, vendors, kids’ stuff, and live music from Dublin’s Irish Tenors & Celtic Ladies (pictured), Albannach, The Dublin City Ramblers, Rathkeltair, Poor Angus, Scuttered the Bruce, Emish, Seven Nations, Emmett Cahill, and Searson. Friday March 11-Sunday, March 13 at various locations in St. Augustine; details at celticstaugustine.com.
FRI
11
OUR PICKS
REASONS TO LEAVE THE HOUSE THIS WEEK
PUNKS GALORE GUANTANAMO BAYWATCH
FRI
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TOP GEAR AMELIA ISLAND CONCOURS D’ELEGANCE The Amelia Island Concours D’Elegance gives automobile enthusiasts an array of more than 325 rare and vintage automobiles to drool over, like a “psychedelicized” 1964 Porsche 356C once owned by Janis Joplin (pictured; it sold last year for a rockin’ $1.76 million), a 1949 Buick Roadmaster like the one in Rain Man, U.S. Cord Automobiles, and European Pegaso Automobiles, as well as events ranging from auctions to cocktail receptions. Friday, March 11-Sunday, March 13 at various locations in Fernandina Beach. For details and to purchase tickets, go to ameliaconcours.org.
Beloved purveyors of a newschool-is-old-school vibe of garage rock that seemingly elevates surf rock and doo wop as the highest art forms of the Western world (who knows, right?), Portland, Oregon’s Guantanamo Baywatch dole out healthy doses of reverb-drenched tunes, surly instrumentals, and hiccup-y vocals. What more do you want out of this life?! 8 p.m. Friday, March 11 with Gooch Palms, Electric Water, Twinki, at Burro Bar, Downtown, $10 advance; $12 day of, burrobarjax.com.
SAT
12
SAT
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DON’T TREAD ON ME GATE RIVER RUN More than 20,000 runners lace up and vie for $85,000 in prize money in the GATE River Run, the largest 15K race in the United States, which includes a 15K run/walk, a 15K disabled athlete divisions, a 5K charity run, challenge mile, junior river run, and diaper dash, plus live music and, most important – 120 kegs of beer! 8:30 a.m. Saturday, March 12 at EverBank Field, Downtown, $40-$55, junior river run and challenge mile are free to enter; details and to register, go to 1stplacesports.com/grr.html. 6 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 9-15, 2016
MONOCHROMATIC & MANIC BLUE MAN GROUP
From its humble beginnings in 1991 in Manhattan’s Lower East Side, Blue Man Group has become a global phenomenon, on the strengths of a trio of blue-tinged performers (all over – heads, hands, everywhere) blending comedy, theater, rock, and dance. The eclectic ensemble has racked up several awards, and, 25 years after their inception, still perform in their original venue: NYC’s Astor Place Theatre. But we’ve got ’em this week! 8 p.m. Saturday, March 12; 1 and 6 p.m. Sunday, March 13, Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, Downtown, 442-2929, $38.50-$93.50, fscjartistseries.org.
MARCH 9-15, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7
THE MAIL NO ARGUMENTS HERE
RE: “Pure Distraction,” by Julie Delegal, Feb. 24 BUNCH OF BABIES, JUST DO YOUR JOBS. Jo Anne Sevastakis via Facebook
EQUAL COVER STORY OPPORTUNITY COMMISSION
RE: “Tough Sell,” by Susan Cooper Eastman, Feb. 24 I WAS WONDERING: WHEN CAN YOUR READERS expect a generous front-page article about Hillary Clinton, considering you published one on Bernie last week? I imagine it will be before Florida’s March 15 primary if you intend to be fair. I also wanted to take issue with a few of the points mentioned about Sanders. He did not march alongside MLK, nor did he know the man. He happened to be at the march with about 200,000 others (and Hillary would have been only about 16 at the time, so her lack of attendance is understandable. However, she did
do some undercover civil rights work examining segregation in 1972). The author of the Bernie article also failed to include that Sanders was initially elected by the graces of the NRA and has repaid that favor many times over by voting for some of its most reprehensible pro-gun legislation (and against common-sense gun laws such as background checks.) It seems antithetical for Sanders to be pro-NRA/pro-gun and also claim that “Black Lives Matter!” Stephanie Gay via email
TAKING OUT THE GARBAGE TAX
RE: “What Would Jesus Do?” Backpage editorial by Dr. Michael Vicko Zolondek, Feb. 24 TOMMY HAZOURI IS A DISGRACE AND IS AND has been an embarrassment to our city. Good ol’ garbage tax Hazouri. Jason Cobb via Facebook
LEND YOUR VOICE If you’d like to respond to something you read in the pages of Folio Weekly Magazine, please send an email (with your name, address, and phone number for verification purposes only) to mail@folioweekly.com, visit us at folioweekly.com, or follow us on Twitter or Facebook (@folioweekly) and join the conversation.
BRICKBATS + BOUQUETS BOUQUETS TO ST. VINCENT’S HEALTHCARE On Saturday, March 5, St. Vincent’s conducted its inaugural Medical Mission at Home at FSCJ’s Advanced Technology Center in Downtown Jax, providing free basic medical care to hundreds of needy folks and helping connect them with medical homes and clinics to provide ongoing care. BRICKBATS TO FLORIDA REPRESENTATIVES LAKE RAY AND JAY FANT On Wednesday, March 2, Reps. Ray (R-12) and Fant (R-15) were two of the only 16 members of the Florida House who voted against legalizing medical marijuana for patients who are on death’s door. We can only assume their votes were based on pot being a gateway drug (in this case, a gateway to a more peaceful, lucid death), whereas the massive doses of (legal) side-effect heavy opioids such patients receive is A-OK. BOUQUETS TO CONCERNED CITIZEN ANGELA RAY After attending the Tuesday, March 1, Fernandina Beach city commission meeting during which several commissioners reportedly voiced obtuse, antiquated opinions about recycling programs, Ray, a Fernandina Beach resident, lifelong activist and former local science teacher, decided she’d had enough. Ray has now redirected some of her energies to convincing the city to hire a recycling coordinator and create a comprehensive citywide recycling program that would include special events. She looks like a good candidate for the job to us. DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? HOW ABOUT A PROVERBIAL BRICKBAT? Send your submissions to mail@folioweekly.com. Submissions should be a maximum of 50 words and concerning a person, place, or topic of local interest. 8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 9-15, 2016
FOLIO VOICES : FIGHTIN’ WORDS What does winning look like for RUBIO AND THE MAYOR?
LENNY CURRY’S
POLITICAL CAPITAL THE LEAST SURPRISING POLITICAL endorsement of 2016’s presidential race thus far is Jacksonville Mayor Lenny Curry endorsing Florida Senator Marco Rubio. Last May, in a pep rally-styled appearance hyped heavily by Curry’s campaign, Rubio came here to beat the drum for Curry the day before the election. Curry had already gotten support from Rick Perry and Jeb Bush (a tool Curry’s campaign used to legitimize his bid was support from national figures). By May, Rubio was the big get; Jeb’s backing had been rolled out earlier in the campaign with a TV spot on heavy rotation for quite a while, and, as the last year or so has revealed, the Duval GOP (especially the few hundred diehards who spearhead the GOTV, or getting out the vote, efforts) loves Marco Rubio. Rubio deployed Curry’s talking points as comfortably as did the candidate himself, to wit: “I’ve never seen any city advertise ‘Move here because the crime rate is higher than it was three years ago,’” Rubio said, before lambasting Alvin Brown for saying such problems were “someone else’s fault.” “You haven’t had the leadership you deserve,” Rubio said, describing the city’s fiscal management as “inexcusable.” Curry won by less than 3 percent of the vote. Did Rubio make the difference? A decent exit poll would have answered that question. In any event, Curry returned the favor, well ahead of the Super Tuesday mandate that saw Trump win seven states, Ted Cruz three, and Rubio, just Minnesota … not a traditional GOP hotbed, and not a hotbed for the movement conservatism for which Rubio is the latest avatar. An excerpt from Curry’s four-paragraph endorsement reads, “Marco will rebuild our military and defend our nation from the threats around the World. [sic] He will make certain we honor the promises our nation makes to our veterans. Marco will support law enforcement and local communities as we combat crime and hopelessness in our cities. And, he will tear down the bureaucracy that stands between success and an American with the dream to start a small business. In a contest that has included many good candidates, I proudly endorse the only candidate who can unite our party and unite our nation,” Curry wrote. After that, Curry did a robocall, put out by a Rubio PAC. Those who have heard it said it was positive, making no stark comparisons between Rubio and Trump, avoiding derisive references to Trump University or anything
along those lines. It also avoided any reference to the dangers posed by Hillary Clinton. What will be the result of all of this? That’s the great unknown. We know it’s a lot more than what Alvin Brown did for Barack Obama in 2012. Brown’s inaction was criticized by Dems, who couldn’t understand why their Democratic mayor wasn’t standing by the Democratic president. The assumption, after the fact, was that Brown could have helped significantly in both cases. Barack Obama, of course, didn’t need it. But Brown’s unwillingness to jump into the partisan scrum actually prolonged the myth of his having political capital … primarily because it was never field-tested. Mayor Lenny Curry’s political capital has been field-tested early and often during his time in office. An extended community dialogue on HRO expansion ended with an outcome that approximately 48 percent of voters would have predicted in March: no movement on the issue along the lines of the legislation being discussed, as passing a bill (like what just happened in Charlotte, North Carolina) wouldn’t have been “prudent” (or politically palatable to pols who counted as part of their base fundamentalists who crowded Council Chambers to bray into the mic about “special rights”). Other field tests include pushing for a referendum on the pension tax, and making the sell on $90 million of sports complex upgrades (half of it on the city’s dime). He was bold on these issues. And on supporting Rubio, he was bold again. But will it matter? In South Georgia, towns that are part of the Jacksonville media market, Trump beat Rubio 45 percent to 18 percent. The hope in Rubio’s camp is that Duval (and Nassau, St. Johns and Clay) will be more like the urban areas with college educated Republicans, where Rubio has performed best. And Curry, who aligns with Rubio in terms of age cohort and political temperament, would seem to be an effective emissary for Rubio. But the same could’ve been said for scores of establishment Republicans in all the states so far where Rubio finished second or even third. What does victory look like for Rubio and Curry in this market? For starters, Rubio has to carry Duval. And not so much for Rubio, but for Curry. There are some who’ll view this race, or frame it, as a referendum on the mayor himself. If Trump scores 40 or 50 percent, some may ask how sturdy Curry’s political coattails are. A.G. Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com twitter/AGGancarski MARCH 9-15, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9
FOLIO VOICES : CITIZEN MAMA Theatre Jacksonville educator meets SPECIAL NEEDS KIDS in their comfort zone
GETTING ON THEIR
10 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 9-15, 2016
IF YOU’RE LIKE SONGWRITER FRANK TURNER, and you don’t want to sit down or shut up, that’s perfectly fine with Mr. Ron. Theatre Jacksonville educator Ron Shreve, 29, visits Southside Estates Elementary School’s Communication & Social Skills classes every Tuesday morning. A University of Florida alumnus, Shreve is fluent in “Angry Birds,” “Mario,” and “Ninjago” which, to his young actors, are important lexicons. Shreve remembers the kids’ favorite colors and favorite things, takes tantrums in stride, and keeps even hard-to-engage students centered on group activities. The idea behind the outreach program, which is funded under the auspices of the arts program Any Given Child Jax, was to bring theater arts to language-delayed students in the school’s CSS classrooms. Now it’s turned into much, much more. “They [the students] are coming out and showing their social skills,” says Jill Pensabene, who directs the CSS program. Interacting socially is no small feat for the children in Pensabene’s program, most of whom have autism. Autism is a serious developmental disorder which makes it much harder for those who have it to communicate and understand social interchanges, much less participate in them. According to the national advocacy organization, Autism Speaks, the disorder affects mostly boys, up to one out of 42 in the United States. Fewer girls have autism, one in 189. A better diagnostic method is only one factor in the increase of autism diagnoses since the 1990s, according to autismspeaks.org. While we don’t yet understand what causes autism, we know that genetics plays a strong role. Just last year, researchers at the University of California-San Diego also discovered functional differences in brain connectivity between autistic and non-autistic people, using fMRI technology. The local organization Healing Every Autistic Life (HEAL) notes on its website that people with autism often present a constellation of other symptoms, including gastrointestinal issues and autoimmune problems. Researchers are also investigating possible environmental causes.
Science has demonstrated the value of positive social engagement fostered in early intervention programs for children with autism. “It’s all about the relationship-building,” says Pensabene. “Ron has won over even our most challenging students.” One fourth-grade student in Donna Free’s class is mid-tantrum when Shreve enters the room. By the end of the 45-minute interactive session, which focused on colors, emotion, and symmetry, the fourth-grader is happily assembling a puzzle. Another knows the answer to the question: “What’s green and has the Illuminati on it?” (A dollar.) Shreve and the child had bonded earlier in the year over the distinctive symbol. Meanwhile, another student, whose student-focused paraprofessional helps keep his hands busy with blocks, gets rewarded with a Skittle for “show me green.” Later, when the group begins to paint, he remains calm as his blocks are removed — a huge accomplishment for him. Shreve thanks one child for being patient while another tells him something about the color blue. Then one of the students in Ms. Free’s class blurts out, “Eggplant!” when Shreve brandishes a bottle of purple paint. The teachers and paraprofessionals in the room can hardly contain their cheers. “He’s come a long way,” Pensabene later explains. “He can now tell us how he feels.” That’s a quantum leap for a nearly nonverbal child with autism. She credits Ron for helping the boy develop language about feelings. “Ron practices with them in a comfortable, perfect setting,” she says. “He asks them, ‘What would you look like if you were angry?’ And the really amazing thing is, he’s teaching them to listen to each other.” Students are in a familiar place – their classroom – when they work with Shreve. Arts programs that require families to show up at unfamiliar places, by contrast, are less effective because it’s difficult for many autistic children to acclimate to a new environment. “By the time they get settled, it’s time to go.” But, Pensabene says, the repeated weekly visits from Mr. Ron are different. “You hit that six-to-eight-week mark and you see a huge shift.”
photo courtesy Any Given Child
LEVEL This year’s program started after winter break, and is now in its eighth week, thanks to two generous private donors. Theatre Jax is funded for 24 more visits this year, to occur over the next 12 weeks, and they’re eager to raise funds to keep the program going next year. “Theater is inherently social,” says Allison Galloway-Gonzalez, chief program officer at Cathedral Arts Project and executive director for Jacksonville’s Any Given Child initiative, part of a national effort spearheaded by the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts to expand access and equity to the arts for all children. “Everything about communication and social skills comes through dialogue,” says Galloway-Gonzalez. The goal, she says, is to gently steer the children into interacting while focusing on something fun. Shreve can take what might otherwise be seen as “restricted areas of interest” in children with autism — angry birds, building blocks, and the Illuminati — and use them as connectors to build bridges. Galloway-Gonzalez says that Shreve’s techniques break both the students and the teachers out of their routines. “The freedom can change the dynamic for adults in the room, too,” she says. And while teachers are known to be territorial and skeptical of outsiders, she says the paradigm shift that someone like Shreve brings can be “wildly effective.” “It’s all about the flexibility,” she says. “You have to be able to shift.” The rapport that Shreve has built with the students shows in Ms. Byrd’s first- and second-grade classes, too. He greets each child by name as he teaches them the sign-language alphabet, and the sign language for an animal each letter represents. “Remember the sign for horse?” he asks his young actors. One leaps in and out of her seat in excitement, fingers wiggling over each ear. She remembers. “A zebra is a special type of horse,” Shreve says. Julie Delegal mail@folioweekly.com _____________________________________ Disclosure: Delegal’s children attended Theatre Camp at Theatre Jacksonville.
MARCH 9-15, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11
JEA’S proposed changes to its NET METERING program have renewable energy advocates UP IN ARMS
What’s the
Cost of
SOLAR?
I STORY BY
SUSAN COOPER EASTMAN PHOTOS BY
DENNIS HO 12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 9-15, 2016
n an epoch when our president speaks of a future without fossil fuels and many consumers care deeply about buying green, solar advocates say a JEA proposal to cut what it pays for solar power will kill the local solar market.
At a board meeting in February, JEA proposed dramatically reducing the value the utility credits those who produce power with solar panels. JEA says it’s lowering the rate to be fair to all its customers. Right now, the utility claims, JEA’s other customers subsidize solar by paying a disproportionate share for upkeep of the electric grid; for 11 cents a utility customer is charged, five to six cents of that goes to upkeep of the grid.
Proponents of solar say cutting the rate they are credited for power they produce will kill the cottage rooftop solar industry in Jacksonville — the economics just won’t work. People who buy solar panels pay for them through their savings on power. An important part of that equation is the credit they receive for power that goes back into the system. “Cutting the rate will drastically affect the economics of rooftop solar to the point it’s non-economical,” said Pete Wilking, president of A1A Solar Contracting. “They are using that yardstick to crush rooftop solar.”
Wilking said there aren’t enough solar customers to make that much of a difference; only 500 of JEA’s approximately 427,000 customers generate power with solar panels. Solar advocates say JEA’s proposal will put solar companies out of business, and they wonder if that is the utility’s intent. This is a small battle in a big war being waged nationally between utility companies
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MARCH 9-15, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 13
What’s the
Cost of
SOLAR? <<< FROM PREVIOUS trying to hang on to their monopoly and a growing legion of customers who generate their own power, solar proponents say, who may not need to turn to the utility company when they cook the kids breakfast or run a stream of hot water for their morning shower.
Solar is the first alternative energy source to compete with centralized power providers, and some utilities are fighting the coming green wave. “Fossil fuel interests have identified rooftop solar as a threat, and I think rightfully so,” said Mike Antheil, executive director of the Florida Solar Energy Industries Association. “I can’t burn nuclear power, natural gas or coal at home. Edison Electric Institute [a lobbying group for the nation’s utilities] identified rooftop solar as the most disruptive challenge to the industry, this shift to distributed energy generation from centralized power.”
CONTINUED NEXT PAGE >>>
This is a small battle in a big war being waged nationally between utility companies and a growing legion of customers. “[JEA’s proposed net metering changes] will basically crush rooftop solar,” said Pete Wilking, President of A1A Solar Contracting. 14 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 9-15, 2016
MARCH 9-15, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15
What’s the
Cost of
SOLAR? <<< FROM PREVIOUS IF THERE’S A CORPORATE CONSPIRACY AGAINST rooftop solar, it makes sense to some that the Koch brothers’ fingerprints are all over it. JEA’s rationale for the reduction in what’s called net metering, as presented in February to its board of directors, could have been lifted
from model legislation created by a Koch brothers-funded think tank, Americans for Prosperity, which is being pushed in states across the U.S. (See ALEC legislation at bit. ly/1L7mJoJ.) Poster boys for the New American Oligarchy, Charles and David Koch, multigillionaires worth at least $80 billion, are ultra-conservative siblings who’ve budgeted nearly a billion dollars — $899 million — to spend on the 2016 presidential race. The Kochs are also working to change laws in states around the nation to make everything more corporate and profit-friendly, to limit oversight and privatize, privatize, privatize. Through another think tank the Kochs heavily support, the American Legislative
Rooftop solar systems like this can cost upwards of $25,000 to $35,000. Less than half of one percent of JEA’s customers participate in net metering, which has advocates asking why the utility believes changes are necessary. 16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 9-15, 2016
Exchange Council (ALEC), legislators all over America receive model legislation and talking points on a wide array of topics, including dismantling environmental protection laws, privatizing public schools, reducing individual and corporation taxes, weakening labor unions, and, yes, making solar power less affordable and less viable. Wilking believes the movement against solar is about keeping power within the control of utilities. “JEA [is] being extremely proactive limiting rooftop solar by putting in regressive policies. This is stepping on rooftop solar very hard and very early,” he said. JEA’s staff didn’t notify Antheil or others in the solar power industry about the presentation they were making to the board on reducing the metering rate until the 11th hour. But Antheil said they did notify the Consumer Energy Alliance, a
“JEA [is] being extremely proactive limiting rooftop solar by putting in regressive policies. This is STEPPING ON ROOFTOP SOLAR very hard and very early.” — PETE WILKING
nonprofit vigorously supported by the Kochs that’s described as a front group for the energy industry. The JEA board is made up of mostly new appointees named by Jacksonville Mayor Lenny Curry. Antheil said they don’t have a nuanced understanding of the issues. The recent board meeting wasn’t the place to acquire that understanding, either. While JEA staff made a lengthy presentation to the board on the proposed fee change and the justification for it, solar proponents could make their case only in three-minute segments during the public comments portion of the meeting, on which Folio Weekly Magazine reported. (“Sticking It to Solar,” Claire Goforth, Feb. 16, folioweekly.com/ Sticking-it-to-Solar)
CONTINUED NEXT PAGE >>> MARCH 9-15, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17
What’s the
Cost of
SOLAR? <<< FROM PREVIOUS ALTHOUGH THE NUMBER OF SOLAR CUSTOMERS in Northeast Florida is increasing, it’s still a tiny fraction of the utility market. When JEA first began working with solar customers, it established a kilowatt-hour rate to credit them if they sent excess energy back into the grid. Like the Florida Legislature-created Public Service Commission decreed in 2008 for private utility companies, JEA credits rooftop solar for its excess power at its retail power rate. (The upcoming November
and beyond what their solar panels produce at any given time. This means that a rooftop solar system producing electricity for its own use is not paying for the cost of providing that electrical capacity. Instead, Boyce said, traditional customers subsidize the cost of the system. That was the intention when the program was set up, as a way to encourage solar, JEA’s website explains. But now, with increases in the number of customers who have solar panels, the utility is moving to reduce the rate of the credit for excess power so that it’s closer to the actual cost of electricity production. Boyce said the reduced rate would be applied only to new customers. Eventually, the utility would link the rate of what it credits solar customers for the power they generate to the actual rising and falling costs of solar power. Lakeland Electric is considering revising how it treats solar customers and Ocala Electric is also making modifications.
Wilking says most customers finance the cost of adding solar, then pay it off with energy savings over the average 25 year life of the system.
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election ballot in Florida was originally set to include dueling solar initiatives that would supersede the PSC requirement but one failed, leaving only the utility-backed initiative on the ballot.) JEA spokesperson Gerri Boyce explained that JEA credits solar customers for the energy they produce at 11 cents per kilowatt-hour, the same rate it charges electrical customers for power. But using the same rate for both kinds of customers gives solar customers an advantage, she said. According to Boyce, the true cost for the utility to produce power is 4 to 5 cents per kilowatt-hour. The rest of the fee pays for utility grid maintenance, including lines, poles, transformers, wires and substations. Solar customers pay that rate if they buy power, but they are reimbursed or credited for power they produce at that same rate, almost twice the actual cost. Boyce said that reducing the credit rate to something like 7 cents per kilowatt-hour would bring it closer to the actual price of power. On JEA’s website, the utility further explains that while solar customers generate power, they are still connected to the grid and use traditional electricity. Therefore JEA must maintain the capacity built into its system to provide solar customers with consistent access to electricity they use above
Both are municipal utilities. Although there hasn’t been an ALEC bill introduced in the Florida Legislature to change net metering, Antheil said that ALEC-style changes have been slipped into bills that the solar industry favors, like bills that would allow a company to install a solar system on a customer’s roof and then charge them for power. “Our approach is to have a fair rate based on what we are buying and selling. And to have rooftop solar based on the same rate. We are a municipal utility. We want to make this fair, to buy and sell solar based at the same rate. Right now, we can buy solar at a lot less than 11 cents per kilowatt-hour. That means all JEA customers are paying solar customers that 11 cents because it is very highly subsidized,” Boyce said. “It’s not fair for a poor customer to subsidize solar.” JEA is also planning to offer customers solar power through a new program, SolarSmart. JEA will buy solar from large solar gardens or farms and sell it to customers in the same way it sells electric. Customers will be able to choose what percentage of their power comes from solar, up to 100 percent. Boyce described it as an option for an apartment dweller who can’t install their own solar system. The utility plans to charge a higher rate for electricity produced with solar energy.
Antheil says that JEA is devaluing what solar contributes to the system and its future potential as a power source. He supports solar farms, but he says rooftop solar adds capacity without cost to the utility or the need for large tracts of real estate. Also, developing technology will enable utilities to store power generated by solar customers in batteries for later distribution. “Unfortunately, JEA has bought into the very misguided and misinformed thought process,” Antheil said. At the February board meeting, Antheil said he expected such a move from private utilities, but not from publicly owned JEA. As the solar market grows, said Antheil, there may be a time to reduce the net metering rate, but it’s too early when the industry still trying to get off the ground. Solar is attractive to many because it can pay for itself over the 25-year life of the system. After applying the federal tax credit, it can cost upwards of between $25,000 and $35,000 for a rooftop system. Most customers finance the cost, Wilking said. They then pay off the loan with the money they save on utilities. If a $180 electric bill is reduced to $20 a month, the $160 saved goes to finance the system. The way things work out, through the savings and by essentially selling power to JEA through net metering, a customer will pay off the loan about the time the solar system needs to be replaced. But if JEA reduces the credit for excess power production from the current 11 cents per kilowatt-hour to 7 or 7.5 cents a kilowatt-hour, the numbers won’t work, said Wilking. “Their proposal also states they are going to take the value of solar and adjust it every year based on market conditions. Why anybody would choose to invest in solar with it not being economical out of the gate, and even if it was, why do it if you have no idea what the future value of solar is?” JEA and other utilities value only revenue, Wilking said. They value solar only when the solar customer has to buy power. Otherwise, solar is often regarded as negative potential revenue. Wilking and Antheil pointed out that when a solar system generates excess power, it doesn’t necessarily go through the complex network of transmission lines. It goes where it’s needed, perhaps even a neighbor’s house. Whereas solar power from a solar farm will traverse the grid’s transmission lines, solar doesn’t utilize that extensive grid. There is no loss of energy as it travels next door. It saves money that way and is less taxing on the grid, and the neighbor pays the full 11 cents per kilowatt-hour for the power. If the number of solar systems increases significantly, the need for new generating plants would decrease, Antheil said. “We would firmly say that asserting solar not paying its fair share is exactly the opposite of the truth,” said Antheil, “and what we want from JEA is a true public dialogue … I really do believe they might see the light.” Susan Cooper Eastman mail@folioweekly.com ____________________________________ The board meeting has engendered promise of more talk and consideration of JEA staff proposals: • The United States Green Building Council (USGBC) hosts a forum on solar in Florida 6:30-8 p.m. March 9 at Jacksonville University’s auditorium, 2800 University Blvd. • JEA had scheduled three community forums on solar energy but informed FWM on March 7 that those were being cancelled because the utility “did not see the need to duplicate [USGBC’s] efforts.” MARCH 9-15, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 19
FOLIO A+E : FILM M
W
hat an inspired, joyful work Zootopia is. It’s an animated movie colored by a dynamic and diverse city, memorable furry characters, and the perfect amount of humor and warmth for young and old to enjoy. It’s an absolute delight. No humans appear at any time. It’s an animals’ world, living just like we humans do, from parking tickets to smart phones and everything in between. The main character is Judy Hopps (voiced by Ginnifer Goodwin), an ambitious bunny who wants more than anything to be a cop in the big city. Her parents (Bonnie Hunt, Don Lake) want her to stay in their small bucolic town and be a carrot farmer, but Judy’s dreams take her to the police department in Zootopia, a sprawling city of vastly different boroughs (desert, rainforest, cityscape, snowy cold) populated by everything from a tiny arctic shrew to giant African elephants. As a small-town girl in a big city, she has growing pains. Police posit slow-moving sloths as DMV employees, Chief Bogo (Idris Elba), a large cape buffalo, giving adults something to relate to and kids assigns her to parking ticket duty, even though plenty to laugh at as Judy’s manic energy plays there are 14 missing mammals and none of against the sloth’s deliberate pace. Similar her colleagues has made headway with the references to The Godfather and Breaking investigation. Then she’s taken advantage of Bad, as well as “Targoat,” “Hoof Locker” and by sly fox Nick Wilde (Jason Bateman), and is more keep adults engaged throughout. And overwhelmed by folks telling her to give up on her dreams. A break in the missing kids will love every second of the mammals case prompts her to cutesy animals and their behavior, ZOOTOPIA blackmail/team up with Nick to find especially the overweight cheetah ***@ the culprits before Chief Bogo fires Clawhauser (Nate Torrence) and Rated PG her for insubordination. the yak Yax (Tommy Chong). There is genius all over Zootopia, The film’s creation at Disney but perhaps the most ingenious decision of Animation (not Pixar), which previously all was a practical one: Animal characteristics gave us Big Hero 6 and Frozen, was a team suggest but do not dictate characters’ effort to be sure. Eight people are credited personalities. For example, there’s a terrifically with contributing to the story, and directing funny scene inside a DMV. Our DMVs are was a three-person operation among Byron known for slow service, so the filmmakers Howard, Rich Moore and Jared Bush. In live
The animals run the show in Disney’s latest animated and TRULY IMPRESSIVE offering
CREATURE FEATURE
SINISTER ROOTS IN THE EARLY ’70S, DIRECTOR WILLIAM FRIEDKIN was about as hot as they come, mostly on the basis of the overwhelming success of The French Connection and The Exorcist, even winning the Oscar for Connection. Since then, though, his career has been like the proverbial roller-coaster, but with more downs than ups. THE GUARDIAN (1990), just released on Blu-ray, is a good example. A quarter-century ago, the movie was highly anticipated as Friedkin’s return to horror, his first since 1971’s The Exorcist. Then came the reviews, among them a scathing dismissal by Roger Ebert, who later included it on his list of “Most Hated Films Ever.” Hurricane Billy (Friedkin’s nickname in Hollywood circles, because of his volatile temper) had swung and missed badly. I remember I was among the disappointed who went to the theater to see The Guardian when it was first released, but I also remember being more frustrated than contemptuous. The movie should’ve been much better, given Friedkin’s earlier work, and it did have its moments. It may not have been great, but I never forgot The Guardian. And I was eager to see it on Blu-ray, to see if 25 years had made a difference – or improvement. Based on Dan Greenburg’s novel originally titled The Nanny, the plot was drastically changed by Friedkin to accommodate his interest in Druids. Original screenwriter Stephen Volk
20 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 9-15, 2016
action, multiple creative forces often lead to a disjointed story, but in animation, this type of collaboration is more common, albeit not to this extent. Regardless, it all works, save for one nitpicky portion that conveys racial overtones and the danger of stereotypes that feels forced and unnecessary. Otherwise, there’s nary a misstep throughout the 108-minute running time, which feels just right. The 3D, especially on an IMAX screen, is bright and immersive. Action scenes are clear and easy to follow, and the animation is crisply detailed right down to the hair on each wolf ’s chinny-chin-chin. The next Oscar ceremony is a year away, but it’s hard to imagine Zootopia won’t be nominated for Best Animated Feature. It’s that’s good. Dan Hudak mail@folioweekly.com
MAGIC LANTERNS went through so many harried rewrites under Friedkin’s direction that he had a breakdown, at which point the director took over the writing chores. The resultant script is the film’s worst mistake, from which no set design, special effects, or cinematography (all of which are quite impressive in the movie) could gloss over. The villain in the story is sexy nanny Camilla (Jenny Seagrove) hired by yuppies Phil and Kate (Dwier Brown, Carey Lowell) to care for their infant son Jake. In reality, though, Camilla is some sort of woodland priestess in the service of a tree somewhere in the Los Angeles foothills. When the babies are just right, properly nourished on mama’s milk as opposed to formula, Camilla steals them away to feed the tree. Another thing – she can apparently summon coyotes to come to her rescue when needed. And, oh, yeah, she can fly, though she saves that particular trick for the end. Last but not least, she can remove bloodstains with a whisk of her hand, the kind of thing Elizabeth Montgomery took care of by twitching her nose in Bewitched – with the same kind of special effects. The tree can take good care of itself as well, swinging a mean branch when it wants and strangling luckless passersby in its vines. A trio of very nasty biker-types, for instance, makes the mistake of attacking Camilla and the infant on one of her woodsy jaunts, giving Friedkin a chance to pull out some rather R-rated gore and special effects à la The Exorcist.
Unfortunately, the same scene, despite its impressive visuals, includes some atrocious acting and even worse dialogue from the bad guys. One can only imagine that the director was either high at the time or taking a nap. In the same vein, another scene involving the shocked reaction by the witless father to some similar nastiness is unintentionally laughable. Apart from Seagrove, who would later become a staple playing Downton Abbey-types in her native England, the rest of the cast is only serviceable. Seagrove, on the other hand, seems to relish the gore and frequent nudity assigned her character. She’s far more memorable than the silly tree she serves. Despite its utter preposterousness, The Guardian has enough gore, occasional suspense, and glossy polish to warrant near-cult status today. And it’s certainly not the worst movie ever about a killer tree. If you don’t believe me, check out 1957’s From Hell It Came.
Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com
FILM LISTINGS FILM RATINGS NRBQ **** RFTC ***@ RHCP **@@INXS *@@@ AREA SCREENINGS
SUN-RAY CINEMA The Hateful Eight runs March 11-17. Anomalisa, The Witch, Son of Saul, Spotlight and Oscarnominated shorts screen. 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. The Brothers Grimsby starts March 11. THE CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ The Danish Girl and Man Up screen at 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com. The Man Who Knew Too Much, noon March 10. The French film Qu’est-ce qu’on a fait au Bon Dieu? screens noon March 12. IMAX THEATER Zootopia, Rocky Mountain Express, National Parks Adventure and Living in the Age of Airplanes screen at World Golf Hall of Fame IMAX Theater, St. Johns, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com. 10 Cloverfield Lane starts March 10.
NOW SHOWING
10 CLOVERFIELD LANE Rated PG-13 Opens March 11. This scary sci-fi thriller sequel costars Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Bradley Cooper, John Goodman and John Gallagher Jr. 13 HOURS: THE SECRET SOLDIERS OF BENGHAZI Rated R A U.S. compound in Libya is attacked and an American ambassador is killed. A military security team tries to keep everyone alive. Costars Toby Stephens, John Krasinski, Freddie Stroma and Pablo Schreiber. THE BOY Rated PG-13 A young American woman (Lauren Cohan) is hired as nanny to an English family – but the kid she nannies is a doll. A doll. And the adults have some seriously weird rules. Costars Rupert Evans and James Russell. THE BROTHERS GRIMSBY Rated R If you don’t like Sacha Baron Cohen, don’t see this. He’s a soccer hooligan whose brother Sebastian (Mark Strong) is a squared-away MI6 spy guy; they have to work together to stop world destruction. Whatevs. Costars Rebel Wilson, Isla Fisher (Cohen’s actual wife), Penélope Cruz and Gabourey Sidibe. DEADPOOL Rated R Another ultramilitary type goes rogue and gets powers. BFD. Costars Ryan Reynolds, T.J. Miller. EDDIE THE EAGLE Rated PG-13 Michael Edwards (Taron Egerton) was a British ski-jumper who beat the odds yet did not do well at the 1988 Winter Olympics. It’s about perseverance, people. Costars Hugh Jackman. GODS OF EGYPT Rated PG-13 Chisled physiques in shiny armor, sweating and rippling … oh … uh, didn’t see you sitting there. Mortals and, apparently, gods fight for the right to rule the empire. Costars Brenton Thwaites, Nikolaj CosterWaldau, Gerard Butler and Geoffrey Rush. HAIL CAESAR! *G@@ Rated PG-13 The comedy, set in the early 1950s, has studio boss Eddie Mannix (Josh Brolin) trying to find star Baird Whitlock (George Clooney) after Baird’s kidnapped. Communists took him to brainwash. Costars Ralph Fiennes, Scarlett Johansson, Frances McDormand, Channing Tatum, Jonah Hill, Christopher Lambert. — Dan Hudak JANE GOT A GUN Rated R Natalie Portman plays a woman whose husband, a criminal, is being threatened by a gang. So she implores her ex-boyfriend to help save hubby. Costars Joel Edgerton, Ewan McGregor. THE LADY IN THE VAN Rated PG-13 This emotional film is about a British playwright who befriends a grumpy old lady who lives in a van. Just like the title says! Costars Maggie Smith, Alex Jennings and Jim Broadbent. LONDON HAS FALLEN Rated R There’s a plot to assassinate a slew of world leaders who are in London for the funeral of England’s prime minister. Costars Alon Aboutboul, Waleed Zuaiter and Mehdi Dehbi.
NORM OF THE NORTH Rated PG Norm, a lovable polar bear, and his lemming friends have travelled to the Big Apple instead of their usual habitat, the Arctic Circle. Norm is swept up in a large corporation involved with profiting from that same frozen land. Voices by Heather Graham, Ken Jeong, Bill Nighy, Colm Meany and Loretta Devine. THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR Rated R This horror film is kinda like Pet Sematary, in that a grieving mother tries to resurrect a dead child. But there’s more to it than that, natch. It’s one of those “Don’t open that door!” scary movies. RACE Rated PG-13 The struggle to become the greatest track and field athlete on Earth is profiled in this historical drama about the peerless Jesse Owens (Stephan James), whose accomplishments in the sport catapulted him to the 1936 Olympics in Berlin, Germany. Adolf Hitler ruled that sphere – and hated all non-Aryans. Jesse showed him how a black man could not only compete against Der Fürer’s fairhaired automatons, but beat them decisively, with grace and poise. Costars Jason Sudeikis, Jeremy Irons, William Hurt and Carice van Houten, as filmmaker Leni Riefenstahl. Luz Long (David Kross), a German runner, embraced Jesse after his victories and they became friends. THE REVENANT **G@ Rated R There’s not even a hint of anything pleasant. Based on a true story, it’s a glum exercise in survival. Oscar-winner Leonardo DiCaprio is fur trapper Hugh Glass, hunting under threat of attack by natives and French hunters. Hugh is mauled by a grizzly in a brutal scene. — DH RISEN Rated PG-13 This is the story of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ – from the viewpoint of a nonbeliever. Costars Joseph Fiennes, Tom Felton, Peter Firth and Cliff Curtis. WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT ***@ Rated R This isn’t a straight-up comedy; it has funny scenes, but there’s a serious tone that belies the levity. The seriocomic film is based on Kim Barker’s book The Taliban Shuffle. Tina Fey plays Barker, a NYC TV news journalist sent to Afghanistan in 2003 to cover Operation Enduring Freedom. In Kabul, she meets other displaced journalists from around the world, including Brit Tanya (Margot Robbie) and Iain (Martin Freeman), who’s Scottish. She has Nic, a hunky bodyguard (Stephen Peacocke), Fahim, a helpful guide (Christopher Abbott), and working relationships with a Marine Corps general (Billy Bob Thornton) and the future attorney general of Afghanistan (Alfred Molina). It’s an odd mix of comedy and drama – with a bit of explosive violence thrown in – but the story lacks a clear narrative thrust. — DH THE WITCH **** Rated R Banished farmer William (Ralph Ineson) and family have been driven from a village for, apparently, interpreting scripture differently. Their newborn is taken while under the watchful eye of Thomasin (Anya TaylorJoy). A blood ritual is stunning and horrific, setting the tone for the rest of the film. — John E. Citrone THE YOUNG MESSIAH Rated PG-13 Everybody on Earth started out as a kid – Bernie Sanders, Chris Rock, Mother Teresa, Dick Cheney (well, maybe not Cheney) – and Jesus Christ (Adam Greaves-Neal) was no different. His young mother Mary (Sara Lazzaro) and – let’s face it, a bewildered – father Joseph (Vincent Walsh) have fled to Egypt to keep their son out of evil King Herod’s way. Herod dies, so they trek homeward to Nazareth. On the way, He’s told a bit about His special place on the planet … and elsewhere. ZOOLANDER 2 Rated PG-13 Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson are back doing their little turns on the catwalk because a rival wants to shut them down. Costars Benedict Cumberbatch, Will Ferrell, Justin Theroux, Macaulay Culkin, Billy Zane, Ariana Grande, Justin Bieber, Demi Lovato. ZOOTOPIA ***G Rated PG Reviewed in this issue.
John Goodman, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, and John Gallagher Jr. star in the sci-fi-fantasy-mysterythriller (what have you), 10 Cloverfield Lane. MARCH 9-15, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 21
+ EVENTS ARTS + ARTS EVENTS
PERFORMANCE
BLUE MAN GROUP The Broadway sensation, a group of blue-tinged performers blending comedy, theater, rock, and dance, is presented at 8 p.m. March 12 and 1 and 6 p.m. March 13 at Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 Water St., Downtown, 442-2929, $38.50-$93.50, fscjartistseries.org. ALMOST MAINE Players by the Sea stages John Cariani’s romantic comedy, about a curious evening of romance in a small Maine town, 8 p.m. March 11 and 12 at 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach, 2490289, $23; $20 for seniors, military, students; through March 26, playersbythesea.org. TUNA DOES VEGAS Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre stages Ed Howard, Joe Sears, and Jaston Williams’ comedic farce about small town eccentrics from the Greater Tuna productions who wreak havoc on Sin City, 8 p.m. March 11 and 12; 2 p.m. March 13 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-7177, $20; through March 26, abettheatre.com. A FACILITY FOR LIVING Limelight Theatre stages Katie Forgett’s dark comedy, about a retired actor who moves into a prison-turned-elder-carefacility in a future, dystopian America, 7:30 p.m. March 10, 11 and 12; 2 p.m. March 13 at 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, 825-1164, $26; $24 seniors, $20 military/ students; through March 26, limelight-theatre.org. RUN FOR YOUR WIFE Orange Park Community Theatre stages Ray Cooney’s madcap comedy, about a British cabbie who tries to be a bigamist, 8 p.m. March 11 and 12; 2 p.m. March 13 at 2900 Moody Ave., 276-2599, $18; $10 students; through March 20, opct.info. THE MELVILLE BOYS Norm Foster’s poignant comedy, about two brothers whose fishing trip changes when two sisters arrive, is staged at 8 p.m. March 11 and 12; 2 p.m. March 13 at Theatre Jacksonville, 2032 San Marco Blvd., 396-4425, $25; through March 20, theatrejax.com. BECKY’S NEW CAR Amelia Community Theatre stages Steve Dietz’s comedy, about a frustrated middle-aged woman given the chance to hit the road toward a new life, 8 p.m. March 10, 11 and 12 at 207/209 Cedar St., Fernandina Beach, 261-6749, $22; $10 students, ameliacommunitytheatre.org. BIG RIVER Roger Miller’s Tony-winning musical adaptation of Mark Twain’s classic, Tom Sawyer, is staged through March 20. Dinner 6 p.m.; brunch at noon; Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menu (chicken gumbo, dirty rice, Southern-style fried catfish, pork ossobuco, maple-glazed chicken, eggplant parmesan, Mississippi mud pie, strawberry shortcake); Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $35-$55 plus tax, 641-1212, alhambrajax.com.
CLASSICAL, CHOIR & JAZZ
FRANK SINATRA JR.: SINATRA SINGS SINATRA Sinatra pays homage to his famous father in this multimedia show, 8 p.m. March 9 at The Florida Theatre, Downtown, 355-2787, $35-$72.50, floridatheatre.com. INTO THE WOODS Students of Episcopal School of Jacksonville perform Stephen Sondheim and James Lapine’s Into the Woods, which weaves together several Brothers Grimm and Charles Perrault fairy tales, 7 p.m. March 11 at the school’s Munnerlyn Center for Worship & Fine Arts, 4455 Atlantic Blvd., Arlington, 396-5751, $15; $10 seniors, students, esj.org. DISNEY FANTASIA LIVE IN CONCERT Two Disney films, Fantasia and Fantasia 2000, are screened with live accompaniment by the Czech National Symphony Orchestra, 7 p.m. March 11 at T-U Center’s Moran Theater, 442-2929, $26.50-$77.50, fscjartistseries.org.
WAYNE TUCKER Trumpeter Tucker, who’s played with Elvis Costello, Bob Mintzer, Cyrille Aimee, and Delfayo Marsalis, performs 8 p.m. March 11 at The Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 807-2010, $19-$24, ritzjacksonville.com. BACK TO THE FUTURE The Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra performs Alan Silvestri’s new score for the popular ’80s film, about the madcap adventures of time-travelers Marty McFly and Doc Brown, 7:30 p.m. March 12 at T-U Center’s Jacoby Symphony Hall, 354-5547, $25-$74, jaxsymphony.org. DASOTA PIANO STUDENTS Piano students from D.A. School of the Arts perform works by Beethoven, Haydn, and Mozart, 3 p.m. March 13 at Main Library’s Hicks Auditorium, 303 N. Laura St., Downtown, 6302353, jplmusic.blogspot.com. SAM HAYWOOD Pianist Haywood plays works by Bach and Villa Lobos, 5 p.m. March 13 at Prince of Peace Lutheran Church, 2600 Atlantic Ave., Fernandina Beach, 261-1779, $40, ameliaislandchambermusicfestival.com. JSYO SPRING CONCERT The Jacksonville Symphony Youth Orchestras perform, 5 p.m. March 13 at T-U Center’s Jacoby Symphony Hall, 3545547, jaxsymphony.org. CHRIS BOTTI Grammy-winning trumpeter Botti, the largest-selling American instrumental artist in history, performs 7 p.m. March 13 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $35-$75, floridatheatre.com. JAX SYMPHONY OPEN REHEARSAL Nathan Aspinall conducts (and, we hope, berates! JK!) the Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra at this open rehearsal, 10 a.m. March 16 at T-U Center’s Jacoby Hall, free, 354-5547, jaxsymphony.org. JAZZ GUITAR IN ATLANTIC BEACH Guitarist Taylor Roberts, 7-10 p.m. every Tue. and Wed., Ocean 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., 247-0060, ocean60.com. JAZZ IN FERNANDINA BEACH Miguel Paley, every Fri., Sat. and Sun. evening, La Mancha, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646.
COMEDY
COREY HOLCOMB Comic Holcomb, who’s been on Last Comic Standing and Comic View, appears 7 p.m. March 10, 7 and 9:15 p.m. March 11, and 7, 9:15, and 11:30 p.m. March 12 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, 292-4242, $25-$30, comedyzone.com. HEARTBEAT OF THE BOLD CITY Standup by Nick Davis and the Jacksonville Comedy Collective, music by Complicated Animals, beer, wine, and food trucks are featured 5-8 p.m. March 10 at Hemming Park, 117 W. Duval St., Downtown, hemmingpark.org.
CALLS & WORKSHOPS
CAMP BROADWAY SEEKS ACTORS Camp Broadway is accepting applications for actors ages 10-17, for a 40-hour summer camp that includes singing, dancing and master classes, taught by 10 Broadway performers, choreographers and musicians. Fee is $575 and includes participation in a June production of either Legally Blonde the Musical or How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, (depending on age group), a headshot and a Camp Broadway T-shirt; for details and to register, go to fscjartistseries.org/education/camp-broadway. (NEU) SONICS MUSIC INITIATIVE Experimental saxophonist-composer Jamison Williams offers a six-week course of workshops with local and visiting improv musician-instructors, at Karpeles Manuscript Library Museum, 101 W. First St., Downtown; for more info, go to neusonics.org.
ARTS PIC GOES HERE
Students from Episcopal School of Jacksonville perform Stephen Sondheim and James Lapine’s INTO THE WOODS, which threads together several Brothers Grimm and Charles Perrault fairy tales, March 11 at the school’s Munnerlyn Center for Worship & Fine Arts in Arlington. 22 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 9-15, 2016
FOLIO A+E : ARTS
MY
Voices soar retelling TOM SAWYER CLASSIC on Alhambra’s stage
HUCKLEBERRY FRIEND
A
20, 2013) reels in a few laughs mugging it up stage musical featuring Huck Finn and for the crowd as author Mark Twain. Tom Sawyer should prove escapist at best. But he does his real work as one-half of the But when Alhambra Theatre & con artist duo King and Duke (Larry Daggett). Dining director Tod Booth can turn the 1985 Duke might just be the brains of the operation, Broadway hit Big River into a rollicking show, but together their scheming keeps Big River you know he’s put a superior cast on the stage. moving at a brisk pace. Booth’s leads bring poise and authority — By the second act, they seem a tad with James Webb soaring as runaway slave Jim overused just before Big River’s final push. and Cameron Bartell giving the show a solid You don’t come to this show anchor as his pal Huckleberry. for subtlety with a title like He and Tom are good for BIG RIVER several laughs throughout — Big River. And you don’t come Through March 20; dinner 6 p.m.; brunch at noon; with Huck deadpanning several expecting the edginess of The Executive Chef DeJuan classic lines from Mark Twain’s Book of Mormon or Angels in Roy’s themed menu pages: “The truth is safer than a America, either. You’re smarter (chicken gumbo, dirty rice, Southern-style fried lie. I thought I’d try it once.” than that. catfish, pork, mapleThree Huck-and-Jim duets It’s solid talent in voice and glazed chicken, eggplant — “Muddy Water,” “River in deadpan delivery — “Then, parmesan, Mississippi mud pie, strawberry shortcake); the Rain” and “Worlds Apart” the widow gave me a whoopin’ Alhambra Theatre & — are critical to any Big River which cheered me up” — that Dining, Southside, $35-$55 production. Here, they score render this a hit. plus tax, alhambrajax.com. some of the loudest applause I’ve There’s very little to pick on heard in years bounce off the here. The musical does suffer at Alhambra’s walls. Locals should check out the times from not having a strong female role. production, which continues through Sunday, The costumes are simple yet solid, and the sets March 20. are vibrant, especially when Huck and Jim Especially of note, Webb’s powerful, maneuver a cleverly built raft on stage. resonant voice goes as deep as the Mississippi Bartell and Smith aren’t as young as some River itself. actors who’ve taken on the Huck Finn and Bartell, Webb and the themed dessert — Tom Sawyer roles, but the playfulness they Mississippi Mud Pie — are certainly worth bring here transcends youth. the price of admission at Alhambra Theatre & Though I was critical of a few technical Dining. And a trio of co-stars hits almost all gaffes at an Alhambra show last year, the the right notes. Alhambra production crew is flawless on Benjamin Smith, who drew raves as the this night. Cat in the Hat in Seussical the Musical last There’s nothing to get in the way of those summer, is nearly flawless with a 5-Hour stellar voices of Big River that wallop your ears, Energy level of panache as Tom Sawyer. one after another. Erik DeCicco (a former Folio Weekly David Paul Johnson Magazine cover boy, Rock Me Amadeus, Feb. mail@folioweekly.com MARCH 9-15, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23
+ EVENTS ARTS + ARTS EVENTS VINTAGE PLAYERS SEEKS OLDER ACTORS Senior theater company seeks actors ages 50 and older for local theatrical productions. Call Gary Baker, 616-1568. ARTS IN THE PARK Annual limited, juried April event at Atlantic Beach’s Johansen Park seeks applications; coab.us. 2016 ART & COMMUNITY GRANTS OPEN The Community Foundation for Northeast Florida has posted grant applications for categories including Early Childhood Nonprofit Organizations, Individual Artists (Art Ventures), Small Arts Organizations (Art Ventures), and Visual Arts in St. Augustine (Dr. JoAnn Crisp-Ellert Fund). Deadlines vary; for more info and to apply, go to jaxcf.org/apply.
ART WALKS & MARKETS
RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Local and regional art, local music – 10:30 a.m. Mark Shine, Decoy, Cortnie Frazier – food artists and a farmers market are featured 10 a.m.-4 p.m. March 12 and every Sat. under the Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com. COMMUNITY FARMERS & ART MARKET Art, crafts, jewelry, 4-7 p.m. March 9, 4300 St. Johns Ave., Riverside, 607-9935.
MUSEUMS
BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY PARK 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657, beachesmuseum. org. The exhibit Lights Up: 50 Years of Players by the Sea is currently on display. CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummermuseum.org. The Chris Thomas Band performs at 7 p.m. March 11; $35; $25 members. Smithsonian Museum Day features free admission 10 a.m.-4 p.m. on March 12. The exhibit Archipenko: A Modern Legacy, featuring 80 works by modern sculptor Alexander Archipenko, is on display through April 17. Conservation, Beautification, and a City Plan: Ninah Cummer and the Establishment of Jacksonville Parks is on display through Nov. 27. The exhibit Julien De Casablanca: The Outings Project is on display through May 1. Rockwell Kent: The Shakespeare Portfolio exhibits through May 15. The exhibit David Hayes: The Sentinel Series, sculptures of geometrically abstract, organic forms, displays through Oct. 2. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911, mocajacksonville.unf.edu. Deutsche Bank’s art curator Liz Christensen discusses that company’s impressive art collection, 7-8:30 p.m. March 10; free admission, e-ticket required. The Other: Nurturing a New Ecology in Printmaking, works by women printmakers, is on display through April 10. In Living Color: Andy Warhol & Contemporary Printmaking and Time Zones: James Rosenquist & Printmaking at the Millennium are on display through May 15. Allegory of Fortune: Photographs by Amanda Rosenblatt, runs through March 27. RITZ THEATRE & MUSEUM 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 807-2010, ritzjacksonville.com. Through Our Eyes 2016: Sensory Perception, 60 works by 18 African-American artists, through Aug. 14.
GALLERIES
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233 WEST KING ART GALLERY 233 W. King St., St. Augustine, 217-7470. Works by sculptor by Joe Lemmon are on display through March. ADELE GRAGE CULTURAL CENTER 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-5828, coab.us. An exhibit of new works by Heather and Holly Blanton is on display through March. ALEXANDER BREST MUSEUM & GALLERY Jacksonville University, 2800 University Blvd. N., Arlington, 256-7371, arts.ju.edu. Landmark: Alternative Views of the Landscape, works by Ryan Adrick, Tracy Longley-Cook, Rachel Girard Reisert, and Janelle Young, and Phillip Scarpone’s Fragments of Recollection: Building a New Whole, are on display through March 16. THE ART CENTER The Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 139, Downtown, 233-9252, tacjacksonville.org. The group show Food Cravings is on display through March 14. CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530, flagler.edu/newsevents/crisp-ellert-art-museum. Sunday, paintings by Kristan Kennedy, is on display through April 16. THE CULTURAL CENTER AT PONTE VEDRA BEACH 50 Executive Way, 280-0614, ccpvb.org. The exhibit Natural Currents, works by John Bunker and Brian Frus, is on display through April 8. Jacksonville Watercolor Society Spring Show is on display through March 22. CYPRESS VILLAGE 4600 Middleton Park Cir. E., Southside, 677-5112, brookdale. com. The Jacksonville Coalition for Visual Arts exhibit runs March 12-May 11. FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928, firststreetgalleryart.com. The exhibit Mermaid Magic is on display through April 5. JACKSONVILLE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT 741-3546, flyjax.com. Haskell Gallery features The Weirdness & Beauty, by Jeff Whipple; Connector Bridge Cases feature The Spirit of Jacksonville, through March. Concourse Cases feature Tall Tales, by Raymond Gaddy, through March 21. J. JOHNSON GALLERY 177 Fourth Ave. N., Jax Beach, 435-3200, jjohnsongallery. com. The exhibit Friends, a group show featuring prints, painting, photography, and sculpture, displays through March 17. KARPELES MANUSCRIPT LIBRARY MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992, rain.org/~karpeles/
jaxfrm.html. The exhibit Evita, a selection of the letters and journals of Eva Perón, the First Lady of Argentina, 1946’52, displays through May 1. Susan Schuenke’s Bold and Beautiful is on display through April 30. PLAYERS BY THE SEA 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach, 249-0289, playersbythesea.org. Anthony Whiting is the featured artist through March 26. SPLIFF’S GASTROPUB 15 Ocean St., Downtown, 844-5000, facebook.com/ spliffsgastropub. The exhibit 3D Paintings by Jessica Becker is on display. ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., 824-2310, staaa.org. The exhibit Miniature Marvels is on display through March 26. ST. PAUL’S BY THE SEA EPISCOPAL CHURCH 465 11th Ave. N., Jax Beach, 249-4091, stpaulbythesea.net. Eve Albrecht’s paintings display through March 30.
EVENTS
FREE COMMUNITY FORUM ON NE FLORIDA SOLAR
Share your voice about the future of solar in our region. JEA is proposing changes to its solar policy, including reducing its net metering rate which would reduce the incentive for residential rooftop solar. 6:30-8 p.m. March 9 at Jacksonville University’s Gooding Auditorium, 2800 University Blvd. N.; RSVP at greenenergyworks.org.
AMELIA ISLAND CONCOURS D’ELEGANCE
The Amelia Concours Week offers automobile enthusiasts the chance to check out more than 325 rare and vintage automobiles, along with events ranging from auctions to cocktail receptions, at various locations March 11, 12 and 13 in Fernandina Beach, 636-0027; for details and to score tickets, go to ameliaconcoursweek.com.
ST. AUGUSTINE CELTIC MUSIC & HERITAGE FESTIVAL
The annual Festival includes Highland games, a parade, whiskey tasting, clans, traditional foods, vendors, kids’ entertainment, and live music from Dublin’s Irish Tenors & Celtic Ladies, Albannach, The Dublin City Ramblers, Rathkeltair, Poor Angus, Scuttered the Bruce, Emish, Seven Nations, Emmet Cahill, and Searson, March 11-13 at various locations in St. Augustine; details at celticstaugustine.com.
GATE RIVER RUN
The 39th annual run, the largest 15K race in the United States, includes a 15K run/walk, 15K disabled athlete divisions, 5K charity run, challenge mile, junior river run, and diaper dash, 8:30 a.m. March 12 at EverBank Field, Downtown, $40-$55, junior river run and challenge mile are free; details and register at 1stplacesports.com/grr.html.
TIM TEBOW FOUNDATION CELEBRITY GALA & GOLF CLASSIC
The sixth annual Tim Tebow Foundation Classic, with appearances by Tebow, The Band Perry, Urban Meyer, Chipper Jones, Lou Holtz, Billy Horschel, Zach Johnson, Duck Dynasty cast members, Chris Tomlin, Tom Rinaldi, Hugh Freeze, Paul Finebaum, and Danny Wuerffel, an interactive fan-zone geared for adults and kids, merchandise, food, and games, is held 9 a.m.-5 p.m. March 12 at TPC Sawgrass, 110 Championship Way, Ponte Vedra, $15; $10 age 18 and under; proceeds benefit the foundation’s outreach programs, timtebowfoundation.org.
PHOTOS FOR A CAUSE ANIMAL FUNDRAISER
Bring your favorite critter and props (or used provided props), for photo shoots held 11 a.m.-4 p.m. March 12 at St. Francis Animal Hospital, 2727 Atlantic Blvd., St. Nicholas; call 323-1740 to make a reservation, $20 donation required; proceeds benefit the hospital’s medical care services for pets, saintfrancisanimalhospital.org.
CASTILLO BY CANDLELIGHT: SISTERS & SURVIVORS
In honor of Women’s History Month, Castillo de San Marcos National Monument hosts a tour, featuring reenactors of historical women of St. Augustine. The 45-minute tours are at 6:30, 7, 7:30, and 8 p.m. March 12 starting at 1 S. Castillo Dr., $10; $5 age 16 and under, 829-6506, nps.gov/casa.
ST. AUGUSTINE RECORD FAIR
This music-lover-friendly event features 60 vendors selling music in various formats, live music, kids’ activities, and food trucks, 11 a.m. March 13 at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., 209-0367, staugamphitheatre.com.
NATURAL LIFE MUSIC & ARTS FESTIVAL
This arts-centric event, featuring artisans and food vendors, and live music performed by Lucette, Laney Jones & the Spirits, Morningsiders, Cereus Bright, Judah & the Lion, Drew Holcomb & the Neighbors, Mere Woodard, Katie Grace Helow, Shannon Ogden, and Whetherman, is held 11 a.m.-8 p.m. March 13 at Metropolitan Park, 1410 Gator Bowl Blvd., Downtown, free admission; $50-$250 VIP, naturallifemusicfestival.com.
ROWITA CELEBRATION CEREMONY
St. Johns Cultural Council presents its eighth annual ROWITA Celebration Ceremony, honoring Elyse Brady, Manila Clough, Caren Goldman, Jan Tomlinson Master, JoAnn Nance, Rosamond Parrish and Shirley Williams-Collins, and featuring keynote speaker Louise Freshman Brown, 5 p.m. March 13 at Limelight Theatre, St. Augustine, historiccoastculture.com.
S.M.A.S.H. FUNDRAISER
Players by the Sea holds its Spring Music & Acting Studio Heyday (S.M.A.S.H.), a fundraiser to benefit its performing arts studio, featuring performances by PBTS’s competition team, food, cocktails, and a silent auction, 6-9 p.m. March 13 at 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach, 249-0289, $40; $15 students age 17 and under, playersbythesea.org.
ONEJAX DISCUSSION
OneJax presents the panel discussion “Immigration: Who Gets In?” featuring Dr. Suzie Weng, Lake Ray, Rebecca Black, Basma Alawee, and University of North Florida’s President John Delaney, 7 p.m. March 14 at University of North Florida’s Herbert University Center, Grand Banquet Hall, Southside, 620-2192, unf.edu.
HERITAGE & CLIMATE CHANGE LECTURE
Dr. Marcy Rockman, Climate Change Adaptation Coordinator for Cultural Resources for the United States National Park Service (NPS), discusses “The Importance of the Past in Responding to Climate Change,” 7 p.m. March 15 at Flagler College’s Lewis Auditorium, 14 Granada St., St. Augustine, 826-8582, flagler.edu.
FOLIO A+E : MUSIC
STILL ROCKIN’ STEADY
S
ka music has gone through multiple phases of stardom; its first blast was in the 1960s, when the mento- and calypsoinfluenced music emerged from Jamaica and seeped into Great Britain. Then there was the 2 Tone revival of the ’70s, when bands like The Clash and The Slits merged ska with a sharper punk-rock edge. And then the third wave of the ’90s, when American acts like The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Less Than Jake, and Rancid found mainstream success. All along, each of these new adopters updated ska for their own purposes. But New York City’s The Slackers, formed in 1991, always hewed much closer to the original template. For them, ska, along with reggae, rocksteady, and dub, represent the ultimate in roots music — and as such, they line up seamlessly with rock ’n’ roll, jazz, blues, soul, and country. The slick sextet celebrates its 25th anniversary this year, and on Feb. 26, they released a self-titled album that pushes into new territory. Folio Weekly Magazine chatted with bassist Marcus Geard about perseverance, psychedelic predilections, and how The Slackers are really just country-music-writing romantics at heart.
New York City’s The Slackers stick to their ROOTSY GUNS AND RIDE ska’s many waves of popularity
Folio Weekly Magazine: So, it’s been 25 years. How special does that feel for the members of the band? Marcus Geard: Very special. It’s pretty much the same group of guys who’ve known each other for more than 20 years. We’re like a rolling family that gets to travel around and see our relatives all year long. In addition, when a band is together for 25 years, their music can get a little stale — you can spin your wheels. I’m sure there are critics who would say that about us, but this new album is definitely going in more psychedelic, ’70s, ’80s, and ’90s-influenced directions.
This is the first album you’ve financed and released yourselves, too, right? Right. And it worked out great. I’d be lying if I said it was easy — there’s a lot of work involved — but it’s a real blessing having legions of supportive fans. Without that, it can be a hard slog pulling off a career like this.
THE SLACKERS, THE DUPPIES
7 p.m. Wednesday, March 16, Jack Rabbits, San Marco, $15, jaxlive.com
Before the band was formed, did you envision a long-term career playing what you call “Jamaican rock ’n’ roll”? In the early ’90s, people in New York City were dedicated to finding really obscure Jamaican music and falling in love with it. There was the whole 2 Tone thing going on, and third wave ska was starting out. But for us, it was authentic Jamaican ska, rocksteady, blue beat, and early reggae. We were hardcore advocates focused on getting it right. And the same thing was happening out in California. We thought we were all cool, like, “We’re the only ones keeping this music alive!” And then Dave [Hillyard, The Slackers’ saxophonist] showed up from San Diego and was, like, “Guys, we’ve been doing this for years.” Were The Slackers pressured to change during third wave ska’s peak in the mid-’90s? We never got all that much love from the industry. We were lucky to sign on with Hellcat early on, and they were great to us. But we never did well for them. We actually wrote a song called “We’re Third From Last,” because
we were the third-worstselling band on the label. Pretty impressive, huh?
Yet here you are, celebrating your 25th anniversary, when so many other bands don’t exist anymore. Unlike those other bands, we didn’t stop. We just kept going. When ska became unpopular in the late ’90s and people said, “Ska is dead?” That was the best time for us. There was no competition. If you were willing to go on the road, you might be the only ska band coming to town for a year. So everybody who was into ska would come out to see you, whether or not you were the kind of ska band they were expecting. Maybe they wanted a punk rock band with horns, but instead they got The Slackers playing these slow, mellow love songs.
Which are now popular in the roots music. Very true. When Americana started coming into the mainstream, we were, like, “Fuck, we’ve been playing this shit for years!” Nobody noticed because we did it with a Jamaican vibe. We were making records with banjos and mandolins 20 years ago. I always tell people I write country music, and by the time I bring it to The Slackers, it sounds like reggae. “Wasted Days,” one of our biggest hits? That’s basically a country tune. Which might explain why people actually dance at a Slackers show. That’s something that we try to encourage. The Slackers are romantics at heart. We like to see everybody dancing — even better if they’re dancing together. We hear stories from couples all the time about how they met at our gig. That’s fucking awesome. The fact that we can create an environment that can lead to a love relationship? You can’t ask for much more than that. Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly.com MARCH 9-15, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25
FOLIO A+E : MUSIC Florida’s own songstress Laney Jones has a banjo-driven, SIGNATURE INDIE FOLK SOUND
THE
KANGAROO L
aney Jones grew up in a house with kangaroos. Let me clarify: Her family wasn’t a mob of kangaroos (I had to look up what a group of kangaroos is called) — her parents were into animals, and growing up, Jones had kangaroos and foxes and other exotic animals roaming around the house and grounds. If that isn’t some form of earlyseeded inspiration to be creative, I don’t know what is. Jones began tinkering around musically, singing and playing at a young age, but her foray into songwriting didn’t begin until she went to school to study International Business at Rollins College, in Winter Park. At some point, all those exotic animals must’ve come to her in her sleep and commanded her to become a musician, because she ditched business school for Berklee College of Music, the famed Boston alma matter of Quincy Jones, Bill Frisell, Gillian Welch, and John Mayer, among a mob of others. From there, Jones blossomed, releasing 2011’s Beyond the Blue followed by Golden Road (2013). That same year, Jones was featured on PBS’s Great Performances alongside Alison Krauss, Renée Fleming, Ben Folds, and a clowder (term for a bunch of cats; in this case, cool ones) of others. Currently, Jones is on the road to promote her upcoming, self-titled album that veers slightly from previous work. Jones calls the sound “Retro Majestic,” however, enthusiasts of twang still get their mandolin and banjo fix. Jones recently spoke with Folio Weekly
26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 9-15, 2016
KID
Magazine about her new album, the art of having fun and, of course, her childhood spent with flocks and herds and swarms of wildlife.
I don’t know if it’s a mantra exactly, but as a band we have a lot of fun. The flip side of that sentiment is that we all work really hard but it’s worth it, because we get to do the thing we love to do. Life on the road can be exhausting but, luckily, I get to play music with my best friends! The song “Allston” is a happy number. Do you live in Allston, and has living in Boston influenced this song? I really like the little melody at the beginning. I never lived in Allston, but the song was inspired by a basement show I went to there. It’s about how music can transform you, and the story talks about pent-up energy at a mundane job. Boston has an incredible creative energy and there’s so many young people. That little melody was actually the very first thing that was written for “Allston” and I’m glad you like it! I have seen videos of you playing a banjo, a guitar and a mandolin. Are there any other instruments you play? Which is your favorite? What instrument would you like to master? I can get by on harmonica and piano, too. Playing banjo is my favorite though, my soul mate of an instrument. The more I play it, the more I can make it my own. It’s not an instrument most people reach for, it’s less defined. I’ve recently messed around with playing cello as well as drums. I don’t necessarily plan to master either of those, or any instrument, but as a songwriter, it’s always inspiring to play around with new sounds. Some of the songs on this album began life that way.
Folio Weekly Magazine: Your new album seems a bit of a departure from your previous, roots-based work. There’s some layering and more instrumentation variety. Is that something you were aching to try, and did I hear a clarinet in there? Now let’s get to the exotic LANEY JONES Laney Jones: You did hear animal farm. Please explain & THE SPIRITS clarinet! It’s only on one this magical place to me. Drew Holcomb & the Neighbors, song, called “Firewalk.” Does it still exist? What Judah & the Lion, Cereus Bright, The song was inspired by kind of childhood was it Morningsiders, Lucette, Mere Woodard, Katie Grace Helow, with all these animals? Were the show Twin Peaks. I like Shannon Ogden, Whetherman your parents the coolest it because it sounds like Natural Life Music & Arts Festival, parents in the universe for birds flocking. 11 a.m.-8 p.m. March 13, having kangaroos? Of all the With any recording, it’s Metropolitan Park, Downtown, free admission; $50-$250 VIP; animals on the farm, which a marker of that person in a naturallifemusicfestival.com are you most like? point in time, under certain I definitely had a unique circumstances. I came childhood. It wasn’t exactly in with songs that were a farm I grew up on. My parents just loved expanding and influenced by things other animals and at one time, I remember there than roots music. I tried to use the creative being a baby kangaroo [a joey], dogs, a goat, environment of the studio to experiment, and a baby fox in the house all at once. You’d while still incorporating some traditional think I’d be destined to be a vet, but I’m a little instruments like banjo and mandolin, and the too sensitive for that. I think my spirit animal result is a lot of densely textured songs, which is a kangaroo. They can be chill and quiet, but I’m very proud of. they can also be just like a dog, too. I had the nickname of Kangaroo Girl growing up. It On the opening track “Do What You Want,” doesn’t really fit anymore, but I’ll embrace it. you sing “What’s the point of living if you Danny Kelly can’t have fun?” Is that your mantra, and mail@folioweekly.com how much fun do you have?
Asheville, North Carolina Americana faves UNDERHILL ROSE perform March 12 at Mudville Music Room in St. Nicholas.
LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK
SPADE McQUADE 6 p.m. March 9, Fionn MacCool’s Irish Pub, Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247. DAN VOLL 6:30 p.m. March 9 & 16, Alley Cat Seafood, 316 Centre St., Fernandina Beach, 491-1001. HIGHER LEARNING, LUCIDEA, VLAD the INHALER vs. MATTHEW CONNOR, DR. SCIENCE 8 p.m. March 9, 1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St., Downtown, $10-$12. The BLACK ATLAS, TRAPPED in STATIC 8 p.m. March 9, Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $8. The BRASS, The LOWER ORDERS, OPPRESSIVE NATURE 8 p.m. March 10, Shantytown, 22 W. Sixth St., Springfield, 798-8222, $5. MEWITHOUTYOU, SUNBEARS!, TWIN LIMB 7 p.m. March 10, Jack Rabbits, $15. SOMOS, PETAL, SUPERWEAKS 8 p.m. March 10, 1904 Music Hall, $10 advance; $12 day of. The iGIVE 9 p.m. March 10, Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown. “3” The BAND 9 p.m. March 10, Flying Iguana, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680. CHEW, COSMIC GROOVE, PUDDLED, NIGHT WARS 9 p.m. March 10, Planet Sarbez, 115 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 342-0632, $5. St. Augustine Celtic Music & Heritage Festival: DUBLIN’S IRISH TENORS & CELTIC LADIES, ALBANNACH, The DUBLIN CITY RAMBLERS, RATHKELTAIR, POOR ANGUS, SCUTTERED the BRUCE, EMISH, SEVEN NATIONS, EMMET CAHILL, SEARSON March 11-13, various sites, details celticstaugustine.com. SISTER OTIS 6 p.m. March 11, Slider’s Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., Fernandina, 277-6652. RESONANT ROGUES 7 p.m. March 11, Blue Jay Listening Room, 412 Second St., Jax Beach, 834-1315, $80. AARON LEE TASJAN 7:30 p.m. March 11, Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., San Marco, 352-7008, $10. GUANTANAMO BAYWATCH, GOOCH PALMS, ELECTRIC WATER, TWINKI 8 p.m. March 11, Burro Bar, $10 advance; $12 day of. SHARKMUFFIN, CONJURE 8 p.m. March 11, Jack Rabbits, $8 advance; $10 day of. FLAT LAND, S.P.O.R.E., MANYFEST 8 p.m. March 11, 1904 Music Hall, $8 advance; $10 day of. MOODY BLUES 8 p.m. March 11, St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., 209-0367, $39.50-$99.50. PASADENA, ROOT OF ALL 9 p.m. March 11, Café Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Aug. Beach, 460-9311, $7 advance; $10 door. NIGHT OWLS 9 p.m. March 11, Mavericks Live, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 356-1110, $5-$15. ROGER THAT 9 p.m. March 11, The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 264-0611. GEORGE ASPINALL BAND 9:30 p.m. March 11, Whiskey Jax, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Southside, 634-7208. LUNAR COAST 10 p.m. March 11 & 12, Flying Iguana. Riverside Arts Market: MARK SHINE, DECOY, CORTNIE FRAZIER 10:30 a.m. March 12, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449. RIHANNA, TRAVIS SCOTT 7:30 p.m. March 12, Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., Downtown, 630-3900, $29.50-$125. UNDERHILL ROSE 7:30 p.m. March 12, Mudville Music Room, $10. BATTALION of SAINTS, PHOBIA, The NOMADS, CONCRETE CRIMINALS 8 p.m. March 12, Burro Bar, $10. The STRUTS, The FRONT BOTTOMS 8 p.m. March 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., 209-0399, free w/ticket; details at x1029.com. BROKENCYDE, JUSTINA VALENTINE, CHALLENGER 8 p.m. March 12, Jack Rabbits, $12 advance; $15 day of. ROOTS of a REBELLION, The ELLAMENO BEAT 8 p.m. March 12, 1904 Music Hall, $8 advance; $10 day of.
(N)CEPTION 9 p.m. March 12, The Roadhouse. GLASS CAMELS 9:30 p.m. March 12, Whiskey Jax. EMMET CAHILL 6 p.m. March 13, Culhane’s Irish Pub, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595, $30-$45. SAVING ABEL 7 p.m. March 13, Harmonious Monks, 320 First St. N., Jax Beach, 372-0815, $12-$20. GLASSJAW, SILVER SNAKES 7 p.m. March 13, Jack Rabbits, $23. Natural Life Music & Arts Festival: LUCETTE, LANEY JONES & the SPIRITS, MORNINGSIDERS, CEREUS BRIGHT, JUDAH & the LION, DREW HOLCOMB & the NEIGHBORS, MERE WOODARD, KATIE GRACE HELOW, SHANNON OGDEN, WHETHERMAN 11 a.m.8 p.m. March 13, Metro Park, 1410 Gator Bowl Blvd., Downtown, free admission; $50-$250 VIP, naturallifemusicfestival.com. LYDIA LUCE, STANKSAUCE, HANNA DAVENPORT 8 p.m. March 14, 1904 Music Hall, $5. DUBLIN CITY RAMBLERS 7 p.m. March 15, Culhane’s, $20-$22. The JUKEBOX ROMANTICS, ELECTRIC WATER 8 p.m. March 15, Burro Bar. The BASTARD SUNS, ASKMEIFICARE 8 p.m. March 15, Jack Rabbits, $8. WATER SEED, FFJB 7 p.m. March 16, Burro Bar. The SLACKERS, The DUPPIES 7 p.m. March 16, Jack Rabbits, $15 advance; $20 day of. The REVEREND PEYTON’S BIG DAMN BAND 8 p.m. March 16, The Original Café Eleven, $15 advance; $18 at door. GORDON LIGHTFOOT 8 p.m. March 16 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $35-$59.50.
BOYTOY, TEENAGE LOBOTOMY March 26, Shanghai Nobby’s KEITH SWEAT, TANK March 26, T-U Center STRAND of OAKS March 26, Hemming Park INTRONAUT, SCALE the SUMMIT March 26, 1904 Music Hall BYRNE & KELLY March 29, Culhane’s Irish Pub DURAN DURAN March 30, St. Augustine Amphitheatre CECILE McLORIN SALVANT March 31, The Ritz Theatre COODER, WHITE & SKAGGS March 31, P.Vedra Concert Hall ACE FREHLEY, GEOFF TATE April 1, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall AFROMAN April 1, The Green Room Springing the Blues: TOOTS LORRAINE & the TRAFFIC, SEAN CHAMBERS BAND, SELWYN BIRCHWOOD, VICTOR
UPCOMING CONCERTS
Suwannee Springfest: JOHN PRINE, DEL McCOURY, JIM
LAUDERDALE, DONNA the BUFFALO March 17-20, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park GET the LED OUT March 17, The Florida Theatre NOBFEST5 March 17-20, Shanghai Nobby’s Rock & Worship Roadshow: NEWSBOYS, JEREMY CAMP, MANDISA, PHIL WICKHAM, FAMILY FORCE 5, AUDIO ADRENALINE March 17, Veterans Memorial Arena JOHNNY CLEGG & HIS BAND March 18, P. Vedra Concert Hall Slide into Spring Music & Beer Fest: G. LOVE & SPECIAL SAUCE, DONAVON FRANKENREITER, DIRTY HEADS, PASSAFIRE, HIP ABDUCTION, SIDEREAL, HERD of WATTS, JAMEYAL, CHILLAKAYA, RUSTY SHINE, The FRITZ, TRONGONE BAND, POST PLUTO March 18, 19 & 20, Main Beach Park, Fernandina JOE SATRIANI March 19, The Florida Theatre Great Atlantic Fest: CRAZY DAYSIES, 309C, JB CROCKETT, J COLLINS, RED ROOTS, CORT CARPENTER March 19, SeaWalk Pavilion The FAB FOUR: The ULTIMATE TRIBUTE March 19, P.V.C. Hall ALAN DOYLE & BAND March 20, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ABSU, VOMIKAUST, DEAD CENTRE, The NOCTAMBULANT March 20, Burro Bar BILL GAITHER & GAITHER VOCAL BAND: DAVID PHELPS, WES HAMPTON, ADAM CRABB, TODD SUTTLES March 20, T-U Center K. MICHELLE & FRIENDS March 20, The Florida Theatre SAOSIN March 22, Mavericks Live MOVEMENTS March 22, 1904 Music Hall CHICAGO, EARTH, WIND & FIRE March 23, Vets Memorial Arena SETH GLIER March 24, The Original Café Eleven ARETHA FRANKLIN March 24, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ONE-EYED DOLL, EYES SET to KILL, OPEN YOUR EYES, VISIONS March 25, The Green Room NRBQ, The BASEBALL PROJECT March 25, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Backyard Block Party LION in the MANE, CITY UNDER SIEGE March 25, Jack Rabbits The LACS March 25, Mavericks Live WET BRAIN, RUKUT, TWINKI, The MOLD March 25, Rain Dogs
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LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC WAINWRIGHT, KIM RETEGUIZ & BLACK CAT BONES, RED DIRT REVELATORS, CORBITT CLAMPITT EXPERIENCE, MR. SIPP, TORONZO CANNON, SAMANTHA FISH, CAT McWILLIAMS, PARKER URBAN BAND, CONRAD OBERG, DIEDRA BLUES DIVA & PRO RUFF BAND, COLIN LAKE, JAREKUS SINGLETON, The LEE BOYS, SMOKESTACK April 1-3, SeaWalk Pavilion WHISKEY DICK April 1, Burro Bar Inaugural Fool’s Paradise: LETTUCE & FRIENDS, GRIZ, CHRIS ROBINSON’S SOUL REVUE (George Porter Jr., Ivan Neville, Eric Krasno, Nikki Glaspie, Neal Casal, Shady Horns), GOLDFISH, The NTH POWER, VULFPECK April 1 & 2, St. Augustine Amphitheatre OF MONTREAL April 3, Mavericks Live CHAD VALLEY, BLACKBIRD BLACKBIRD April 4, 1904 Music Hall DAILEY & VINCENT April 7, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SUNN O))), BIG BRAVE April 7, Sun-Ray Cinema STICK FIGURE April 8, Mavericks Live LIVING COLOUR April 8, Harmonious Monks REBIRTH BRASS BAND April 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall DAWES, HISS GOLDEN MESSENGER April 9, P. V. Concert Hall LERA LYNN, ISRAEL NASH, RIVERNECKS April 10, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Backyard Block Party CITIZEN & TURNOVER, SORORITY, MILK TEETH April 10, 1904 Music Hall AMY HELM April 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PEARL JAM April 13-16, Veterans Memorial Arena Wanee Music Festival: WIDESPREAD PANIC, GREGG ALLMAN, GOV’T MULE, LES BRERS, UMPHREY’S McGEE, BRUCE HORNSBY, STANLEY CLARKE, MELVIN SEALS & JGB, KARL DENSON April 14, 15 & 16 RITA WILSON April 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BILLY CURRINGTON, KELSEA BALLERINI April 18, St. Aug Amp The BRONX WANDERERS April 16, The Florida Theatre BARRAGE 8 April 17, The Florida Theatre JESSE COOK April 18, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall Generation Axe: STEVE VAI, ZAKK WYLDE, YNGWIE MALMSTEEN, NUNO the CONVALESCENCE, SO THIS IS SUFFERING April 19, Jack Rabbits BETTENCOURT, TOSIN ABASI April 20, The Florida Theatre One Night of Queen: GARY MULLEN & the WORKS April 20, PVCHall A NIGHT with JANIS JOPLIN April 21, Florida Theatre IRATION April 21, Mavericks Live SKINDRED April 21, Harmonious Monks BEN FOLDS April 22, The Florida Theatre RASCAL FLATTS, JANA KRAMER April 22, St. Aug. Amphitheatre SLEEPMAKESWAVES, MONUMENTS, ENTHEOS, The CONTORTIONIST April 22, 1904 Music Hall Legends of Southern Hip Hop: MYSTIKAL, JUVENILE, TRICK DADDY, BUN B, PROJECT PAT, TOO SHORT April 22, Vets Mem Arena NOFX April 23, Mavericks Live TOMMY EMMANUEL, The LOWHILLS April 28 & 29, PVC Hall
Jacksonville-based progressive hip hop artist THE iGIVE performs March 10 at Burro Bar, Downtown. JOHN MORELAND April 28, St. Aug. Amp. Backyard Stage OBN IIIs, BROWN PALACE April 29, Nobby’s JJ GREY & MOFRO April 29, Mavericks Live ANJELAH JOHNSON, BON QUI QUI, GROUP 1 CREW April 30, Florida Theatre ALABAMA SHAKES, DYLAN LeBLANC April 30, St. Aug Amp Welcome to Rockville: ROB ZOMBIE, ZZ TOP, FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH, A DAY to REMEMBER, MEGADETH, LAMB of GOD, CYPRESS HILL, SEVENDUST, GHOST, ANTHRAX, CLUTCH, YELAWOLF, P.O.D., WE CAME as ROMANS, MEMPHIS MAY FIRE, ISSUES, CROWN the EMPIRE, BEAR TOOTH, TEXAS HIPPIE COALITION, AVATAR, From ASHES to NEW, GLORIOUS SONS, WILD THRONE, DISTURBED, SHINE-DOWN, 3 DOORS DOWN, BRING ME the HORIZON, SIXX:A.M., COLLECTIVE SOUL, PENNYWISE, POP EVIL, BULLET for my VALENTINE, HELLYEAH, ASKING ALEXANDRIA, CANDLEBOX, FILTER, ESCAPE the FATE, PARKWAY DRIVE, ENTER SHIKARI, MISS MAY I, WILSON, RED SUN RISING, LACEY STURM, MONSTER TRUCK, CANE HILL April 30 & May 1, Metro Park GIPSY KINGS, NICOLAS REYES, TONINO BALIARDO May 1, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Funk Fest: LL COOL J, NEW EDITION, MASTER P, FLOETRY, DRU HILL, JON B. May 6 & 7, Metropolitan Park JBOOG, COMMON KINGS May 6, Mavericks Live PHIL VASSAR, RUSSELL DICKERSON May 7, Thrasher-Horne The 1975, The JAPANESE HOUSE May 10, St. Aug Amphitheatre
The FRONT BOTTOMS, BRICK + MORTAR. DIET CIG May 11, Mavericks Live ELLIS PAUL May 13, The Original Café Eleven MICHAEL CARBONARO May 13, Times-Union Center STYX, .38 SPECIAL, The OUTLAWS May 14, St. Aug Amphitheatre OTEP FEST 2016 May 15, Harmonious Monks DEFTONES, CODE ORANGE May 17, St. Aug Amphitheatre SHAKEY GRAVES, SON LITTLE May 17, P. Vedra Concert Hall NIGHT RANGER May 19, The Florida Theatre KING & the KILLER May 20, Mavericks Live FOALS May 20, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SALT-N-PEPA, KID ’N PLAY, ROB BASE, COOLIO, TONE LOC, COLOR ME BADD May 21, St. Augustine Amphitheatre HERE COME the MUMMIES, NOAH GUTHRIE May 26, PVCHall MODERN ENGLISH May 26, Burro Bar ALEJANDRO ESCOVEDO June 5, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall “WEIRD AL” YANKOVIC June 11, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DEATH CAB for CUTIE, CHVRCHES, PURE BATHING CULTURE June 14, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JUSTIN BIEBER June 29, Veterans Memorial Arena BARENAKED LADIES, ORCHESTRAL MANOEUVRES in the DARK, HOWARD JONES July 2, St. Augustine Amphitheatre TWENTY ONE PILOTS July 3, St. Augustine Amphitheatre SHAWN MENDES July 16, St. Augustine Amphitheatre FLIGHT of the CONCHORDS July 17, St. Aug Amphitheatre 5 SECONDS of SUMMER July 20, Veterans Memorial Arena BRING IT! LIVE July 29, The Florida Theatre
LIVE MUSIC CLUBS
AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA
ALLEY CAT Beer House, 316 Centre St., 491-1001 Dan Voll 6:30 p.m. March 9. Gitlo Lee 6:30 p.m. March 4 KNUCKLEHEADS Bar, 850532 U.S. 17, 222-2380 Band on the run 9 p.m. March 12 LA MANCHA, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646 Miguel Paley jazz show every Fri.-Sun. SLIDERS Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652 Sister Otis 6 p.m. March 11 SURF Restaurant, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Yancy Clegg every Tue. & Thur. Black Jack Band every Fri.
AVONDALE, ORTEGA
CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free 9 p.m. Tue. & Thur. Indie dance 9 p.m. every Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance every Fri.
THE BEACHES (All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted)
BLUE JAY Listening Room, 412 N. Second St., 834-1315 Resonant Rogues 7 p.m. March 11 BRASS ANCHOR, 2292 Mayport Rd., AB, 249-0301 Joe Oliff March 9. Clinton Lane Darnell, Shayne Rammler March 11 CULHANE’S, 967 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 249-9595 Emmet Cahill March 13. Dublin City Ramblers March 15 FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680 “3” March 10. Lunar Coast March 11 & 12. Dustin Bradley March 13 GUSTO’S, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925 Groov every Wed. Monica DaSilva every Thur. Murray Goff Fri. Under the Bus Sat. HARBOR TAVERN, 160 Mayport Rd., AB, 246-2555 Sniper 66 8 p.m. March 13 HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815 Cat McWillams March 12. Saving Abel, Another Lost Year March 13. A Matter of Honor March 13. Back from the Brink Mon. LYNCH’S, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Yamadeo March 11 & 12 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 Third St. N., 241-5600 Dollar Weed March 11. Three March 16 MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573 Ginger every Wed. Mike Shackelford, Steve Shanholtzer every Thur. RAGTIME Tavern, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877 Jimmy Parrish March 9. Hoffman’s Voodoo March 10 & 11. Cloud 9 March 12. Neil Dixon March 13 SLIDERS Seafood Grille, 218 First St., NB, 246-0881 Billy Bowers March 11. Live music every Thur., Fri. & Sat.
DOWNTOWN
1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. Higher Learning, Lucidea, Vlad the Inhaler vs. Matthew Connor, Dr. Science March 9. Somos, Petal, Superweaks March 10. Many Fest, S.P.O.R.E., Flat Land
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LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE
MURRAY HILL Theatre, 932 Edgewood S., 388-7807 Doyle Dykes, Strangerwolf March 11. Freddy Rosario March 12 RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969 Ethan Harrison Smith March 9. Pilotwave, Herd of Watts March 11 RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449 Mark Shine, Decoy, Cortnie Frazier March 12 RUSTY’S Pub, 8970 103rd St., 771-4199 Jake McVey March 10
ST. AUGUSTINE Atlanta-based psych rock band CHEW (pictured) play with COSMIC GROOVE, PUDDLED, and NIGHT WARS March 10 at Planet Sarbez, St. Augustine.
CAFE ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Aug. Beach, 460-9311 Pasadena, Root of All March 11 PLANET SARBEZ, 115 Anastasia Blvd., 342-0632 Chew, Cosmic Groove, Puddled, Night Wars March 10 TRADEWINDS LOUNGE, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Those Guys March 11 & 12
SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK March 11. Roots of Rebellion March 12. Lydia Luce, Hanna Davenport March 14 The BIRDHOUSE, 1827 N. Pearl St., 634-7523 Honey Chamber 8 p.m. March 11 BURRO BAR, 100 E. Adams St. The Igive March 10. Gooch Palms, Twinki, Guantanamo Baywatch, Electric Water, March 11. Battalion of Saints, Phobia, Concrete Criminals March 12. Jukebox Romantics, Electric Water March 15 DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 BlackJack every Wed. DJ Brandon every Thur. DJs spin dance every Fri. DJ NickFresh every Sat. DJ Randall every Mon. DJ Hollywood every Tue. FIONN MacCOOL’S, The Landing, 374-1247 Spade McQuade March 9. Jig to a Milestone March 11. Chuck Nash March 12 JACKSONVILLE Landing, 353-1188 Radio at Random March 10. Groove Coalition March 11. George Aspinall, Boogie Freaks March 12. Radio 80 March 13 MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Dr. Doom 10 p.m. every Fri. DJ Shotgun 10 p.m. every Sat. MAVERICKS LIVE, Jax Landing, 356-1110 Night Owls 9 p.m. March 11. Joe Buck, DJ Justin every Thur.-Sat.
FLEMING ISLAND
ISLAND LIFE GRILL, 2245 Plantation Ctr. Dr., 215-4243 Jake McVey 7 p.m. March 9
THEBITCH IS BACK
WHEN RYAN GUNWITCH-BLACK CONTACTED me about his new doom-metal project, I was a bit skeptical, and we talked about it. Black and I worked together on a couple of projects – he created art for my last release and I pretended to play drums on his video for last year’s One Spark – and I felt I could be candid. Doom and its offshoots can be exploited, not unlike bad punk, created by people who can’t play for audiences who don’t care. “Look, I C-tuned my guitar, I can plunk big chords and make them go ‘chunk chunk’ through this Orange amp my dad lent me. Don’t it sound like burning hell?” To some, this is doom. To me, it’s crap. Doom deserves the compositional consideration given any genre – to ignore it is to disrespect the form. To the unaccustomed ear, doom is slow, loud and boring or repugnant. But to someone who understands and appreciates it, there’s depth and musicality. Rooted in Black Sabbath’s bluesy metal, moving through the black metal of ’80s bands Venom and Celtic Frost and landing squarely in the laps of modern stoner bands like The Atomic Bitchwax and The Sword, and the darker strains of Southern Lord’s Sunn O))). In light of his forebears, Black’s new project bitchCoven is, fortunately, damn solid. Listening to early demos of tunes like “Dying is Easy” and “The Thing in the Crypt,” one gets the feeling Black (a graphic artist and formerly of Porcelain Black; his current band is Ghostwitch) and his partner Henry McMillan took time to compose these riffs, build on an idea and watch it develop. He can sound a little too much like Rob Zombie when he “sings,” but that’s a minor quibble. It’s ominous stuff, with walls of guitars collapsing into silence, only to be topped by bigger, meaner riffs. Black flips the equation, adding acoustic guitar beneath huge distorted lines. In a genre that doesn’t allow for much invention, Black’s doing what he can to keep it fresh, while staying true to form. I spoke to the guitarist/songwriter about the roots of bitchCoven, his shift from goth to doom, and
INTRACOASTAL WEST
CLIFF’S Bar, 3033 Monument Rd., Ste. 2, 645-5162 Rusted Diamond 9 p.m. March 11 & 12 JERRY’S Grille, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766 Rick Arcusa March 11. Retro Kats March 12
JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Black Atlas, Trapped in Static March 9. Mewithoutyou, Sunbears!, Twin Limb March 10. Sharkmuffin, Conjure March 11. Carbonine, Brokencyde, Justina Valentine, Challenger March 12. Glassjaw, Silver Snakes March 13. The Bastard Suns, Askmeificare March 15 MUDVILLE Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Aaron Lee Tasjan 7:30 p.m. March 11
MANDARIN, JULINGTON
SOUTHSIDE, BAYMEADOWS
WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 The Ride 9 p.m. March 11 & 12. Darrell Rae March 13. Deck music every Fri.-Sun.
ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG
The HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael Tue.-Sat. The ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Roger That March 11. Nception, Inner Demons, lowercase g March 12
MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999 Charlie Walker March 10. Lance Neely March 11. Ouija Brothers March 12 WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows, 634-7208 George Aspinall March 11. Glass Camels March 12 WORLD of Beer 9700 Deerlake Ct., Ste. 1, 551-5929 Cheezy & the Crackers March 11. Chilly Rhino March 12
PONTE VEDRA
SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE
HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine, 880-3040 Live music most weekends. Open jam 7 p.m. Mon.
PUSSER’S, 816 A1A, 280-7766 Ryan Crary March 9. Samuel Sanders March 10. Dustin Bradley March 11. Caleb Joye March 12 TABLE 1, 330 A1A, 280-5515 Robbie Litt March 9. Gary Starling March 10. Wayback Wednesday March 11. Latin Allstars March 12
his ongoing exploration of visual and sonic arts. Folio Weekly Magazine: What was the impetus for bitchCoven? Ryan Gunwitch-Black: My friend Henry showed me these insane riffs he’d been coming up with for a long time. Really heavy, catchy doom/stoner-metal things. He’d have this amazing idea and the next week it would just be gone, back into the ether. I whined until he started recording them. Once I had these riffs in front of me, it was obvious they needed to be in songs and a new project sprang from that. When will bitchCoven’s debut be released and in what formats? The project was going to be an EP. Like, five songs and done. But once we had a name and started rolling, it was clear we were going to wind up with a lot more than just four or five killer songs. We started writing together mid-January. We already have seven complete songs and partial arrangements for about four more. Not to mention the 50 riffs I’m … sorting through and cataloging now. Once we have 15 songs, we’ll whittle those down to the best eight or 10 for the album. I plan to have it done and ready for mastering by June and then released in August. I want to do some limitededition vinyl with special packaging for collectors and hardcore doom fans, a small cassette run and CDs. Obviously, we’ll have it available on iTunes and streaming services as well.
MOLLY BROWN’S Pub, 2467 Faye Rd., 683-5044 Chase Fouraker, Keira MacKenzie March 11. Clinton Lane Darnell, Shayne Rammler March 12 SHANTYTOWN Pub, 22 W. Sixth St., 798-8222 The Brass, The Lower Orders, Oppressive Nature 8 p.m. March 10
THE KNIFE
ear are usually very textural and melodic. Even a fuzz-drenched guitar tuned down to C can express a melody in the right hands, like Matt Pike of Sleep and High On Fire. He writes some of the most brutal stuff ever, but it still has a hook and a melody. I don’t know. It’s really kind of ephemeral, isn’t it? Even when I’m using straight-up, raw feedback and noise on the more droning parts of bitchCoven stuff, it tells a story and has a forward motion. At least, that’s the goal. Can a direct connection be made, for you anyway, from early metal to doom or stoner? Absolutely. Sabbath was the beginning of all that. I’ve probably ripped off “Black Sabbath” about 27 times without even realizing it. They were so heavy for the time. The intervals they wrote sound so sinister. Their riffs were everything bands like The Beatles avoided because they were trying to make happy pop music. Then Sabbath came along doing these monstrous minor-chord riffs. Crushing, man.
You have a reputation for gothic-themed rock and outlaw country. Why doom now? In my weird-ass brain, it’s all in the same family. I’m not writing Kiss FM hits or anything, but I’ve been more mindful of song structure, hooks and recording things in a bit less lo-fi manner. Doom, drone and stoner metal really began to appeal to me more than the faster, thrash stuff about 10 years ago. Maybe it’s just easier for old guys to play. But bands like Crowbar, Sleep, Salome, and Dark Castle sound so much more brutal than Metallica. As far as the “now” part, I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I want absolutely nothing to do with the mainstream landscape today. Nothing.
Are you going to incorporate your visual and graphic art into the bitchCoven concept? The visual aspect of things comes along with the music. There’s always a succession of images in my head when I’m writing. A band is just one big art project to me, so, yes. The visual and graphic art portion of my brain is on. It’s kind of hard to turn it off. I’m working on some Zdzisław Beksinskiinspired stuff and some more high-contrast, singlecolor design stuff. It’ll be interesting.
What makes doom musical? A lot of doom isn’t very musical. I’m really picky about music in general. Things that catch my
––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– For more info on bitchCoven, log onto facebook.com/ Btchcvn/ or on Instagram at bitchcovenband.
John E. Citrone theknife@folioweekly.com
MARCH 9-15, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 29
craft beers, burgers, handhelds, tacos, whiskey. $$ FB L D Sat. & Sun.; D Daily.
BEACHES
Great eats, a full bar, and some of the liveliest nightlife in the 904 awaits at Harmonious Monks in Jax Beach. Photo by Dennis Ho
(Venues are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)
DINING DIRECTORY AMELIA ISLAND FERNANDINA BEACH
29 SOUTH EATS, 29 S. Third St., 277-7919, 29southrestau rant.com. F Chef Scotty Schwartz’s traditional regional cuisine has modern twist. $$ L Tue.-Sat.; D Mon.-Sat.; R Sun. BARBERITOS, 1519 Sadler Rd., 277-2505. 463867 S.R. 200, Ste. 5, Yulee, 321-2240, barberitos.com. F Southwestern fare; burritos, tacos, quesadillas, salsa. $$ BW K TO L D Daily BEACH DINER, 2006 S. Eighth St., 310-3750, beachdiner. com. Innovative breakfast: Eggs on the Bayou, fish-n-grits; French toast, riders, omelets. Lunch fare: salads, burgers, sandwiches, shrimp & crabmeat salad. $$ BW K TO L D Daily BEECH STREET Bar & Grill, 801 Beech St., 572-1390, beech streetbarandgrill.com. In restored 1889 home, Chef Charles creates with fresh, local ingredients. Local seafood, handcut Florida steaks, housemade pasta, daily specials, small plates, street food. $$$-$$$$ FB D Tue.-Sat.; Brunch, D Sun. BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F Southern hospitality, upscale waterfront spot; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB K L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo.com. F Family-owned; historic building. Veggie burgers, seafood, made-from-scratch desserts. Dine in or on oak-shaded patio. Karibrew Pub next door. $$ FB K TO R, Sun.; L D Daily CHEZ LEZAN BAKERY CO., 1014 Atlantic Ave., 491-4663, chezlezanbakery.com. Fresh European-style breads, pastries: croissants, muffins, cakes, pies. $ TO B R L Daily THE CRAB TRAP, 31 N. Second St., 261-4749, amelia crabtrap.com. F $$ FB K TO R, Sun.; L D Daily DAVID’S Restaurant & Lounge, 802 Ash St., 310-6049, ameli aislanddavids.com. Fine dining, historic district. Fresh seafood, prime aged meats, rack of lamb. $$$$ FB D Wed.-Mon. DICK’S Wings & Grill, 474313 E. S.R. 200, 491-3469. 450077 S.R. 200, 879-0993. 2015 BOJ. SEE ORANGE PARK. ELIZABETH POINTE LODGE, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabethpointelodge.com. F Award-winning B&B. Seaside dining, inside or out. Hot buffet breakfast daily. Homestyle soups, sandwiches, desserts. $$$ BW B L D Daily HOLA CUBAN CAFÉ, 117 Centre St., 321-0163, holacuban cafe.com. F $$ FB K TO R, Sun.; L D Daily JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddianes cafe.com. F 1887 shotgun house. Jambalaya, French toast, mac-n-cheese, vegan/vegetarian. Porch. $$ FB K B L D Daily LULU’S at Thompson House, 11 S. 7th St., 432-8394, lulusamelia.com. F Po’boys, salads, local seafood, local shrimp. Reservations. $$$ BW K TO R Sun.; L D Tue.-Sat. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moonriver pizza.net. F 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic Northern-style
To get your restaurant listed here, just call your account manager or Sam Taylor at 904.260.9770 ext. 111 or staylor@folioweekly.com.
DINING DIRECTORY KEY
Average Entrée Cost $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer/Wine FB = Full Bar K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch L = Lunch D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted free FW Bite Club tasting. fwbiteclub.com. 2015 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot
30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 9-15, 2016
pizzas, 20+ toppings, pie or the slice. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE MUSTARD SEED CAFÉ, 833 TJ Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Casual organic eatery, juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juice, herbal tea. $$ TO B L Mon.-Sat. PABLO’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT GRILL & CANTINA, 12 N. Second St., 261-0049. Chicken, carnes, fajitas, burritos, tacos, daily specials. Margaritas. $$$ FB K TO L D Daily THE PECAN ROLL BAKERY, 122 S. Eighth St., 491-9815, thepecanrollbakery.com. F Near historic district. Sweet and savory pastries, cookies, cakes, bagels, breads, made from scratch. $ K TO B L Wed.-Sun. PI INFINITE COMBINATIONS, 19 S. Third St., 432-8535, pi32034.wix.com/piinfinite. All bar service; NYC-style. Specialty pizzas, pie/slice, toppings: truffle mushrooms, little neck clams, eggs, shrimp. Courtyard. $$ BW TO L D Wed.-Sun. PLAE, 80 Amelia Village Cir., 277-2132, plaefl.net. Bite Club. Bistro-style venue serves whole fried fish, duck breast. Outside. $$$ FB L Tue.-Sat.; D Nightly SALTY PELICAN Bar & Grill, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesal typelicanamelia.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. 2nd-story outdoor bar. Owners T.J. & Al offer local seafood, fish tacos, local shrimp, po’boys, cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F Oceanfront. Crabcakes, fried pickles, fresh seafood. Open-air 2nd floor, balcony. $$ FB K L D Daily T-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. Eighth St., 261-6310. F 2015 BOJ winner. In an old gas station; blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L Mon.-Sat.
ARLINGTON, REGENCY
DICK’S Wings & Grill, 9119 Merrill Rd., 745-9300. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. LARRY’S, 1301 Monument Rd., 724-5802. F SEE ORANGE PARK. The STEAKHOUSE @ Gold Club, 320 Gen. Doolittle Dr., 645-5500, jacksonvillegoldclub.com. Lunch and dinner specials, free HH buffets Thur. & Fri. $$$ FB L D Daily
AVONDALE, ORTEGA
FLORIDA CREAMERY, 3566 St. Johns Ave., 619-5386. Ice cream, waffle cones, milkshakes, sundaes, Nathan’s grilled hot dogs. Low-fat and sugar-free choices. $ K TO L D Daily HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, harpoonlouies.net. F Locally owned & operated 20+ years. American pub. 1/2-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta. Local beers. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MOJO NO. 4 Urban BBQ & Whiskey Bar, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. PINEGROVE Market & Deli, 1511 PineGrove Ave., 389-8655, pinegrovemarket.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. 40+ years. Burgers, Cubans, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher cuts USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. $ BW TO B L D Mon.-Sat. RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaurantorsay.com. 2015 BOJ winner. French/Southern
bistro; local organic ingredients. Steak frites, mussels, pork chops. Snail of Approval. $$$ FB K R, Sun.; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simply saras.net. F Down-home fare, from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Mon.-Sat., B Sat.
BAYMEADOWS
AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. BELLA VITA Ristorante Italiano, 3825 Baymeadows, 646-1370, bellavitajax.com. F Authentic Italian cuisine. $$ FB L D Daily INDIA’S Restaurant, 9802 Baymeadows, Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajax.com. F 2015 BOJ. Authentic cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetables, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L Mon.-Sat.; D Nightly LARRY’S Giant Subs, 3928 Baymeadows, 737-7740. 8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F SEE ORANGE PARK.
AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0002, alspizza.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. New York-style gourmet pizzas, baked dishes. All-day HH Mon.-Thur. $ FB K TO L D Daily ANGIE’S SUBS, 1436 Beach Blvd., 246-2519. ANGIE’S GROM, 204 Third Ave. S., 246-7823. F 2015 BOJ winner. Subs made with fresh ingredients for 25+ years. One word: Peruvian. Big salads, blue-ribbon iced tea. $ BW TO L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 2400 S. Third St., Ste. 201. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. ESPETO Brazilian Steakhouse, 1396 Beach Blvd., 3884884, espetosteakhouse.com. Beef, pork, lamb, chicken, sausage; full menu, bar fare, craft cocktails, Brazilian beers. $$ FB D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001, europeanstreet.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & Tequila Bar, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 F 2015 BOJ winner. Latin American, tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana fare. 100+ tequilas. $ FB L D Daily LARRY’S Subs, 657 Third St. N., 247-9620. F SEE ORANGE PARK. MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 1018 Third St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600, mellowmushroom.com. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. Hoagies, gourmet pizzas: Mighty Meaty, vegetarian, Kosmic Karma. 35 tap beers. Nonstop happy hour. $ FB K TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 1534 Third St. N., 853-6817. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MEZZA RESTAURANT & BAR, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573, mezzarestaurantandbar.com. F Near-the-ocean 20+ years. Casual bistro fare: gourmet wood-fired pizzas, nightly specials. Dine in, patio. $$$ FB K D Mon.-Sat. MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636, mojobbq.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Pulled pork, beef, chicken, Carolina-style, sides. $$ FB K TO L D Daily POE’S TAVERN, 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7637, poestavern.com. Gastropub, 50+ beers, gourmet burgers, hand-cut fries, fish tacos, Edgar’s Drunken Chili, daily fish sandwich special. $$ FB K L D Daily RAGTIME TAVERN & SEAFOOD GRILL, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F For 30+ years, iconic seafood place. Blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily happy hour. $$ FB L D Daily SALT LIFE Food Shack, 1018 Third St. N., 372-4456, saltlife foodshack.com. Specialties: signature tuna poke bowl, sushi, Ensenada tacos, local fried shrimp, in modern open-air space. $$ FB K TO L D Daily SLIDERS Seafood Grille & Oyster Bar, 218 First St., NB, 246-0881, slidersseafoodgrille.com. Beach-casual spot. Faves: Fresh fish tacos, gumbo. Key lime pie, ice cream sandwiches. $$ FB K L Sat. & Sun.; D Nightly SNEAKERS Sports Grille, 111 Beach Blvd., 482-1000, sneakerssportsgrille.com. 2015 BOJ winner. 20+ tap beers, TVs. Happy hour Mon.-Fri. $ FB K L D Daily SURFING SOMBRERO, 222 First St. N., 834-9377. Oceanfront place serves authentic fare – like paella. Drink specials. Dine in or outside. $$ FB L D Daily SURFWICHES SANDWICH SHOP, 1537 Penman Rd., 241-6996, surfwiches.com. Craft sandwich shop; Yankeestyle steaks, hoagies, all made to order. $ BW TO K L D Daily
DOWNTOWN
AKEL’S DELICATESSSEN, 21 W. Church St., 665-7324, akelsdeli.com. F New York-style deli has freshly made subs (3 Wise Guys, Champ), burgers, gyros, breakfast bowls, ranchero wrap, vegetarian items. $ K TO B L Mon.-Fri. THE CANDY APPLE Café & Cocktails, 400 N. Hogan St., 353-9717, thecandyapplecafe.com. Sandwiches, entrées,
GRILL ME!
ERIC CHAN
Hawkers Asian Street Fare 1001 Park St., 5 Points BIRTHPLACE: Las Vegas, Nevada
YEARS IN THE BIZ: 11
FAVE RESTAURANT (other than mine): Seasons 52, St. Johns Town Center FAVE CUISINE STYLE: Japanese FAVE INGREDIENTS: Garlic and ginger IDEAL MEAL: Sushi and some kind of dessert WON’T CROSS MY LIPS: Licorice INSIDER’S SECRET: Love to make music. CELEBRITY SIGHTING: Crispin Glover, Bobcat Goldthwaite CULINARY TREAT: Macaroons METRO DINER, 9802 Baymeadows, 425-9142. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 11030 Baymeadows, 260-2791. SEE MANDARIN. PATTAYA THAI Grille, 9551 Baymeadows Rd., 646-9506, ptgrille.com. Family-owned; traditional, vegetarian, new Thai; curries, , noodles. Low-sodium, gluten-free, too. $$$ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun. TEQUILA’S MEXICAN Restaurant, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 101, 363-1365, tequilasjacksonville.com. F Authentic fare, fresh ingredients. Vegetarian dishes; drink specials. Nonstop happy hour. $$ FB L D Daily THE WELL WATERING HOLE, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9, 737-7740, thewellwateringhole.com. Local craft beers, wines glass/bottle. Meatloaf sandwich, pulled Peruvian chicken, vegan black bean burgers. $$ BW K TO D Tue.-Sat. WHISKEY JAX Kitchen + Cocktails, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 135, 634-7208, whiskeyjax.com. Gastropub has
salads. $$ FB K L, Mon.; L D Tue.-Sun. CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth, 356-8282. F Chef Sam Hamidi serves Italian fare, 35+ years: veal, seafood, gourmet pizza. Homemade salad dressing. $ BW K L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. OLIO MARKET, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com. F From-scratch soups, sandwiches. Duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L Mon.-Fri. SWEET PETE’S, 400 N. Hogan St., 376-7161. F All-natural sweet shop has candy made of all natural flavors, no artificial anything. Several kinds of honey. $ TO Daily ZODIAC BAR & GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283, thezodi acbarandgrill.com. Mediterranean cuisine, American fare, paninis, vegetarian dishes. Daily lunch buffet. Espressos, hookahs. Happy hour Wed.-Sat. $ FB L Mon.-Fri.
FLEMING ISLAND
GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 1915 East-West Parkway, 541-0009. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE.
DINING DIRECTORY MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MOJO SMOKEHOUSE, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteys fishcamp.com. F Real fish camp. Gator tail, freshwater catfish, daily specials, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar. Come by boat, bike or car. $ FB K TO L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly
INTRACOASTAL WEST
AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. DICK’S WINGS, 14286 Beach Blvd., 223-0115. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. LARRY’S, 10750 Atlantic, Ste. 14, 642-6980. F SEE O. PARK. TIME OUT Sports Grill, 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5, 223-6999, timeoutsportsgrill.com. F Locally-owned-and-operated. Hand-tossed pizzas, wings, wraps. Daily drink specials, HDTVs. Late-nite menu. $$ FB L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly
MANDARIN, NW ST. JOHNS
AKEL’S DELI, 12926 Granbay Pkwy. W., 880-2008. F SEE DOWNTOWN.
AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199. F Dolmades (stuffed grape leaves), baby shoes (stuffed eggplant). Greek beers. $$ BW L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat.
DICK’S WINGS, 10391 Old St. Augustine Rd., 880-7087. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. FIRST COAST Deli & Grill, 6082 St. Augustine Rd., 733-7477. Diner: pancakes, bacon, sandwiches, burgers. $ K TO B L Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 11365 San Jose Blvd., 674-2945. F SEE ORANGE PARK.
METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. F Organic soups, sandwiches, wraps, baked goods, prepared foods. Juice, smoothie and coffee bar. All-natural, organic beers, wines. Indoor, outdoor dining. $ BW TO K B L D Daily THE RED ELEPHANT Pizza & Grill, 10131 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 12, 683-3773, redelephantpizza.com. Casual, familyfriendly eatery. Pizzas, sandwiches, grill specials, burgers, pasta, plus gluten-free-friendly items. $ FB K L D Daily
ORANGE PARK
CHEERS PARK AVENUE, 1138 Park Ave., 269-4855. $$ FB L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 6055 Youngerman Circle, 778-1101, dickswingsandgrill.com. 1803 East West Pkwy., 375-2559. 2015 BOJ winner. NASCAR theme. 365 varieties of wings, half-pound burgers, ribs. $ FB K TO L D Daily THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959, hilltop-club.com. Southern-style fine dining. New Orleans shrimp, certified
UGLY CUPCAKE MUFFINRY & CAFE puts an innovative spin on muffins
BITE-SIZED
MUFFIN
photo by Brentley Stead
DO YOU KNOW THE
WOMAN?
website it says the fare can include “whatever else we dream up for the day.” It’s always breakfast time as far as I’m concerned, so we tried the Bruffin ($6) and the chicken hash ($10). The chicken hash comprised a heaping portion of potatoes and crispy chicken caramelized to a TH THE HE NEW NEEW UG UGLY GLY L C CUPCAKE UPCA UP PCA CAKE KE M MUFFINRY UFFI UF FINR FI NRY NR Y & CA CAF CAFE AFE FE IIS S slight sweetness, blanketed with scrambled eggs in a beautiful spot a block from the ocean, with a and a sprinkle of fresh green onion. Instead of the menu made up of muffins that I guarantee you’ve sad, limp afterthought that often accompanies an never seen. What started out as a side business for order, crisp, fresh fruit was a happy addition. Ivy Wolf and her two children has now turned into The Bruffin sandwich, a spin on a classic a deliciously satisfying full-time job. After Wolf and breakfast sandwich using the house muffin as her family started selling their humongous muffins the bread, is customizable with eggs and your at Beaches Green Market, they noticed there was choice of meat: Canadian bacon, tempeh, or turkey a large demand for the interesting and unique sausage. You can make your Bruffin a combo with flavors they’d concocted, like PB&J and Pepperoni a drink and a side of fruit ($10). Pizza. Four-and-a-half years later, they’ve opened Open every day from 7 a.m. to 3 p.m., the cafe their own restaurant. maintains the proprietors’ promise of freshness While the Ugly Cupcake Muffinry may by making everything in-house daily with “no sound like a stranger, creepier version of Willy shortcuts.” Wolf is proud to say that they serve Wonka’s Chocolate Factory, the reality is that vegan, vegetarian, dairy-free it’s delightful. The restaurant is and gluten-free options, and use in the same location as Wolf’s UGLY CUPCAKE only European milled flour, which catering company, Cravings MUFFINRY & CAFE has no bleach or bromides. You Catering, in a charming yellow 115 Fifth Ave. S., won’t find any glassware – all two-story house between First Jax Beach, 339-5214, of the paper products, cups and and Second streets, on Fifth theuglycupcakemuffinry.com utensils are biodegradable and Avenue South in Jax Beach. In compostable. Wolf says Ugly fact, it’s so close to the sand Muffinry is striving “to be a zero-waste restaurant, dunes, you can get a muffin or six to go and and … is currently down to 3 percent [waste].” enjoy them by the ocean. With inventive and new flavors popping up Because it’s a popular breakfast and lunch all the time, both your sweet and savory cravings spot, you’ll want to get there early. There are will be satisfied. Don’t miss out on the spinach plenty of seating options – if it’s a nice day (and and feta, pizza, banana brown sugar and cannoli it usually is), the front lawn or the second-floor muffins ($4 each). With all these options, it’s easy balcony are the best spots. to be overcome with indecision. Pick your pleasure If you’re hungry for a full meal, there is an then indulge yourself into a carb coma. Don’t abundance of choices on the breakfast and worry, we won’t judge. Muffinwich menu. There’s no getting tired of the Brentley Stead same old thing at Ugly Cupcake, because the mail@folioweekly.com menu changes a little every day. On the shop’s
BITE SIZED
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DINING DIRECTORY Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. Extensive bourbon selection. $$$ FB D Tue.-Sat. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 15, 272-3553. 5733 Roosevelt Blvd., 446-9500. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove, 284-7789, larryssubs.com. F All over the area, Larry’s piles ’em high, serves ’em fast; 33+ years. Hot & cold subs, soups, salads. Some Larry’s serve breakfast. $ K TO B L D Daily METRO DINER, 2034 Kingsley Ave., 375-8548. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. SNACSHACK, 179 College Dr., Ste. 19, 682-7622, snac shack.menu. F Bakery and café; bagels, muffins, breads, cookies, brownies, snack treats. $$ K BW TO B, L & D Daily
PONTE VEDRA BEACH
AL’S Pizza, 635 A1A, 543-1494. F ’15 BOJ. SEE BEACHES. DICK’S WINGS, 100 Marketside Ave., 829-8134, dickswings andgrill.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. LARRY’S SUBS, 830 A1A N., 273-3993. F SEE ORANGE PARK.
RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE
13 GYPSIES, 887 Stockton St., 389-0330, 13gypsies.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic Mediterranean peasant cuisine updated for Americans; tapas, blackened octopus, risotto of the day, coconut mango curry chicken. $$ BW L D Tue.-Sat. AKEL’S Deli, 245 Riverside Ave., 791-3336. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., 388-8384. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. BLACK SHEEP Restaurant, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, black sheep5points.com. New American, Southern; local source ingredients. Rooftop bar. $$$ FB R Sat. & Sun.; L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 869 Stockton St., Stes. 1 & 2, 855-1181. F 2015 BOJ winner. Small-batch, artisanal coffee roasting. Organic, fair trade. $ BW TO B L Daily BREW FIVE POINTS, 1024 Park St., 714-3402, brewfive points.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Local craft beer, espresso, coffee, wine. Rotating drafts, 75+ can craft beers; sodas, tea. Rotating seasonal menu: waffles, pastries, toasts, desserts, specialty coffees, craft beers. $$ BW K B L Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412, cornertaco.com. Made-from-scratch “Mexclectic street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free, vegetarian options. $ BW L D Daily. DERBY ON PARK, 1068 Park St., 379-3343. New American cuisine, upscale retro air in historic landmark building. Shrimp & grits, lobster bites, 10-oz. gourmet burger. Dine inside or out. $$ FB TO Wknd brunch. B, L D Tue.-Sun. EDGEWOOD Bakery, 1012 S. Edgewood Ave., 389-8054, edgewoodbakery.com. 68+ years, full-service. From-scratch pastries, petit fours, pies, custom cakes. Espresso/pastry café: sandwiches, smoothies, soups. $$ K TO B L Tue.-Sat. EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 2753 Park St., 384-9999. 2015 BOJ winner. 130+ import beers, 20 on tap. Sandwiches. Outside dining at some EStreets. $ BW K L D Daily GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Juice bar; organic fruits, veggies. 300+ craft/imports, 50 wines, meats, deli, raw, vitamins. Wraps, sandwiches. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS ASIAN STREET FARE, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic dishes from mobile stalls. $ BW TO L D Daily IL DESCO, 2665 Park St., 290-6711, ildescojax.com. Modern Italian cuisine. Handcraft cocktails. $$-$$$ FB TO K L D Daily JOHNNY’S Deli & Grille, 474 Riverside Ave., 356-8055. F Casual; sandwiches, classic salads, homefries. $ TO B L Daily KNEAD Bakeshop, 1173 Edgewood Ave. S., 634-7617. Locally-owned, family-run; made-from-scratch pastries, artisan breads, pies, sandwiches. $ TO B L Tue.-Sun. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1509 Margaret St., 674-2794. 7895 Normandy Blvd., 781-7600. 8102 Blanding Blvd., 779-1933. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., 999-4600. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MONROE’S SMOKEHOUSE BAR-B-Q, 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551, monroessmokehousebbq.com. Wings, pulled pork, brisket, turkey, chicken, ribs. Sides: beans, baked beans, mac-n-cheese, collards. $$ K TO L Mon.-Sat.; D Fri. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. MOSSFIRE GRILL, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434, mossfire. com. F Southwestern fish tacos, enchiladas. HH Mon.-Sat. upstairs lounge, all day Sun. $$ FB K L D Daily O’BROTHERS Irish Pub, 1521 Margaret, 854-9300, obroth ersirishpub.com. F Stilton crust shepherd’s pie, Guinness mac-n-cheese, fish-n-chips. Patio. $$ FB K TO L D Daily PATTAYA Thai Grille, 1526 King St., 503-4060. SEE BAYMEADOWS. RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park, 379-4969. ’15 BOJ. Bar food. $ D SBRAGA & COMPANY, 220 Riverside Ave., Ste. 114, 746-0909, sbragadining.com. Chef Kevin Sbraga has a contemporary approach to local influences. Go-to dishes: hog & hominy, fish fry, carrot ceviche. $$-$$$ FB TO L D Daily SOUTHERN ROOTS FILLING STATION, 1275 King St., 513-4726, southernrootsjax.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Healthy, light vegan fare; local, organic ingredients. Specials, on bread, local greens or rice, change daily. Coffees, teas. $ Tue.-Sun. SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside, Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushicafe jacksonville.com. F Monster, Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll.
Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. $$ BW L D Daily
ST. AUGUSTINE
AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. CARMELO’S MARKETPLACE PIZZERIA, 146 King St., 494-6658, carmelosmarketplace.com. New York-style brick-oven-baked pizza, fresh sub rolls, Boar’s Head meats & cheeses, garlic herb wings. Outdoor seating, Wi-Fi. $$ BW TO L D Daily
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DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 965 S.R. 16, 825-4540. 4010 U.S. 1 S., 547-2669. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. THE FLORIDIAN, 72 Spanish St., 829-0655, thefloridian staug.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Updated Southern fare. Vegetarian, gluten-free. Fried green tomato bruschetta, grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D Wed.-Mon. GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F Local mainstay 25+ years. Varied menu changes twice daily. Signature dish: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. Sun. brunch. $$ FB R Sun.; L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. METRO DINER, 1000 S. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 758-3323. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO OLD CITY BBQ, 5 Cordova St., 342-5264. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. ONE TWENTY THREE BURGER HOUSE, 123 King St., 687-2790. From Carmelo’s owners. Premium burgers, made with beef from NYC butcher Schweid & Sons. Woodfired pizzas, ice cream bar, Old World milkshakes. $$ BW K TO L D Daily SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 321 A1A Beach Blvd., 217-3256, saltlifefoodshack.com. SEE BEACHES.
SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK
BASIL Thai & Sushi, 1004 Hendricks Ave., 674-0190, basilthaijax.com. F Authentic Pad Thai, curry, tempura, vegetarian, seafood, stir-fry, specials. $$ FB L D Mon.-Sat. BISTRO AIX, 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox. com. F Mediterranean/French inspired; steak frites, oakfired pizza, raw bar seasonal selections. $$$ FB TO L D Daily DICK’S Wings, 1610 University Blvd. W., 448-2110. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. EUROPEAN STREET Café, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 398-9500. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. $ BW K L D Daily FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusion sushijax.com. F Upscale sushi spot serves a variety of fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu. $$ K L D Daily The GROTTO WINE & TAPAS BAR, 2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726. F Artisanal cheese plate, empanada, bruschetta, cheesecake. 60+ wines by the glass. $$$ BW Tue.-Sun. HAMBURGER MARY’S BAR & GRILLE, 3333 Beach Blvd., 551-2048, hamburgermarys.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Wings, sammies, nachos, entrées, burgers. $$ K TO FB L D Daily KITCHEN ON SAN MARCO, 1402 San Marco Blvd., 396-2344, kitchenonsanmarco.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Local, national craft beers, specialty cocktails, seasonal menu, fresh, locally sourced ingredients. Sunday brunch. $$ FB L D Daily METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metro diner.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Original upscale diner. Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, soups. $$ B R L Daily MOJO BAR-B-QUE, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. PIZZA PALACE, 1959 San Marco Ave., 399-8815, pizzapalacejax.com. F Family-owned-&-operated; spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, lasagna. Dine outside. $$ BW K TO L D Daily SCORES, 4923 Univ. Blvd. W., 739-6966. $$ FB D Nightly. TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco Ave., 398-3005, tavernasan marco.com. Chef Sam Efron’s authentic Italian; local produce, meats. Craft beers, craft cocktails. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily
SOUTHSIDE, TINSELTOWN
ALHAMBRA THEATRE & DINING, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. USA’s longest-running dinner theater; Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus. Reservations. $$ FB D Tue.-Sun. BARBERITOS, 4320 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., Ste. 106, 807-9060. F SEE AMELIA ISLAND. DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., 619-0954. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. DIM SUM Room, 9041 Southside Blvd., 363-9888, thedimsu mroom.com. Shrimp dumplings, sesame ball. Traditional Hong Kong noodles, barbecue. $ FB K L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET Café, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. JC HOMEMADE PASTRIES FILIPINO CUISINE & KARAOKE, 12192 Beach Blvd., Ste. 3, 619-4303. Authentic Filipino fare. $$ Fri.-Sun. TO. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F SEE ORANGE PARK.
MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MONROE’S SMOKEHOUSE BAR B-Q, 10771 Beach Blvd., 996-7900, monroessmokehousebbq.com. SEE RIVERSIDE. OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr., 900-7730, ovinte. com. 2015 BOJ winner. European-style, influenced by Italy, Spain, Mediterranean. Small plates, entrée-size portions, selections from charcuterie menu. $$$ BW TO R D Daily STICKY FINGERS SMOKEHOUSE, 8129 Point Meadows Way, 493-7427, stickyfingers.com. Memphis-style hickorysmoked ribs, wings, pulled pork, barbecue – five legendary sauces and a dozen sides. $$$ FB K TO L D Daily TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Ct., 854-0426, tavernayamas.com. F Bite Club. Char-broiled kabobs, seafood, wines, desserts. Belly dancing. $$ FB K L D Daily
SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE
DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 12400 Yellow Bluff Rd., Ste. 101, 619-9828. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. HOLA Mexican Restaurant, 1001 N. Main St., 356-3100, holamexicanrestaurant.com. F Fajitas, burritos, specials, enchiladas. Happy Hour; sangria. $ BW K TO L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S Giant Subs, 12001 Lem Turner, 764-9999. SEE O.PARK.
MOLLY BROWN’S PUB & GRILL, 2467 Faye Rd., 683-5044. F $$ FB TO L D Daily
PINT-SIZED
THE LUCK OF
THE BRITISH Finding VEGAN-FRIENDLY brews can be tricky
There are several good reasons for drinking and one has just entered my head. If a man can’t drink when he’s living, then how the heck can he drink when he’s dead? — Irish saying ST. PATRICK’S DAY IS NEXT WEEK. WE CELEBRATE all things Irish and consume copious amounts of Irish beer. Why has this holiday become one of the biggest drinking days of the year? The answer lies with St. Patrick: who he was, what he did for Ireland and how his feast day morphed into the all-out party everyone, native of The Ould Sod or not, celebrate today. Many people are blissfully unaware that St. Patrick wasn’t Irish, nor was his name Patrick. Buckle up for the truth: Maewyn Succat from Great Britain – his parents were Italians who went to England – was captured and enslaved at age 16, by a gang loyal to an Irish nobleman. He escaped and made his way back to Great Britain, where he was ordained as a Roman Catholic priest and took the name Patricius or Patrick. He asked to be allowed to return to Ireland so he could minister to Celtic pagans and convert them to Christianity. During his time in Ireland, Patrick converted thousands of pagans to Catholicism. He’s credited with utilizing the shamrock, which grew all over the Emerald Isle, as an allegory for the Holy Trinity. Legend also says he drove all the snakes from the island. Since Ireland’s never had snakes, though, so it’s thought that tale is part of his conversion of Celtics (who used snakes in idolatry) to Christianity. After Patrick’s death on March 17, 461, he was elevated to the status of Saint. The day of his death became a Holy Feast Day, and Irish Catholics were obligated to attend Mass in honor of their patron saint. In addition, because the feast day fell in the middle of the Lenten Season, the church lifted the usual restrictions against eating meat and drinking alcohol, which gave rise to over-consumption of ale on that day. In modern times, massive parties mark a holiday replete with drinking Irish beers such as Guinness, Murphy’s and Smithwick’s. Guinness, a thick, silky stout with rich coffee and chocolate flavors, is a standard in Irish pubs, where it’s often simply called the “black stuff.” Murphy’s Irish Red gets its name from the the brew’s vibrant red hue. The flavor’s dry, crisp, hoppy and carbonated, with tinges of fruit and caramel. Smithwick’s has been brewing its version of red ale since 1710, characterized by caramel maltiness and a hint of hops. To help celebrate the annual day of overimbibing, we offer a short list of local parties:
PINT SIZED
ANCIENT CITY BREWING CO. PRE-ST. PATTY’S PARTY Free admission; proceeds benefit St. Augustine Lighthouse & Maritime Museum. 5 p.m.close, March 16, 3420 Agricultural Center Dr., Ste. 8, St. Augustine, 429-9654, ancientcitybrewing.com. FIONN MacCOOL’S IRISH PUB Irish food, green beer, dancers, bagpipers, live music: Spade McQuade & the Allstars, Rathkeltair, Searson, Seven Nations. 9 a.m.-close, (Irish buffet 11 a.m.-9 p.m.), March 17, Jax Landing, Downtown, 374-1547, fionnmacs.com. CULHANE’S IRISH PUB Dancers, bagpipers, live music, radio remotes. 10 a.m.-close, March 17, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595, culhanesirishpub.com. Marc Wisdom mail@folioweekly.com
MARCH 9-15, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 33
UPCOMING PET EVENTS USDAA PALS & PAWS AGILITY TRIALS The United States Dog Agility Association holds these trials starting at 8 a.m. on Friday, March 11 at Jacksonville Equestrian Center, 13611 Normandy Blvd., Westside, 255-4254, palsandpawsagility.com. Spectator admission and parking are free. The trials wrap up at 4 p.m. Sunday, March 13.
ADOPTABLES
GONZO
Most Wanted Muppet Gonzo’s my name and I’m as ridiculously adorable as that Muppet with the same name. My true passion in life is holding humans in their place by parking in their laps. I take my job very seriously. Humans need to know who’s the boss, after all. Come meet me, the Great Gonzo, at JHS! For adoption information, visit jaxhumane.org
YAPPY HOUR This dog-friendly event “You LUCKY Dog” is held 2-5 p.m. on March 20 at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, featuring live music by DJ Kevin Tos and a St. Puppy’s Day Party for dogs, their parents and dog lovers. Dress your pooch in green and you may win King or Queen of the Green. Plus enjoy a dog and owner beer-drinking contest, smiling contest, pet expo, giveaways and more. 353-1188, jacksonvillelanding.com.
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2016 FLORIDA INTERNATIONAL DOG SURFING CHAMPIONSHIP Nassau Humane Society partners with Team Surfdog, Dockdogs and Redbones in presenting this exciting contest at 9 a.m. Friday, March 25 through 2 p.m. Sunday, March 27 at 2500
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ADOPTABLES
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BAVESH
King of Kings According to the super-accurate Wikipedia, my name means “Lord of the Universe.” I’m not sure that’s true, but I’ll take it! I’d love to be the lord of your universe and let you worship me. I know all the basic commands and if you want to boss his lordship around, I’ll let you. Come meet me at JHS! For adoption details, visit jaxhumane.org
Atlantic Ave., Fernandina Beach. Frisbee dogs, dock jumping, dog surfing competition and more. 310-3350, dockdogs.com. PET CARDIOPULMONARY RESUSCITATION, FIRST AID CLASSES The classes are held 2-7 p.m. Sunday, April 3 34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 9-15, 2016
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Dear Davi, I’d like to visit a dog park, but my human is a little nervous about taking me. Any suggestions to ease her mind? Thanks, Bella the Bichon Hi Bella, A dog park can be an awesome place to spend time with your furry pals, but there are some common courtesies, safety tips, and unwritten rules that you and your human should keep in mind before heading out. Hope this rundown minimizes your risks and maximizes your fun. Before going into the park, watch the folks already there for a minute. If dogs are romping happily, join in the fun. But if you notice canine bullies or troublemakers fighting with other dogs, or if you feel uneasy about playing with a particular pack, visit another time. When you arrive, other dogs will rush to investigate – believe me. To avoid this canine mob scene, linger outside the gate with your human for a minute, letting other dogs notice you, and then walk in safely. Once in the gate, unleash yourself. Being leashed is the fastest route to leash aggression. Why does this happen? It’s our natural fi ghtor-flight response coming to the surface. The leash prevents us from fleeing, so fighting it is. Unleashing allows for a more natural introduction. Besides, what’s the point of visiting an off-leash park if you’re on a leash? If you’re little, like me, make sure the park has an area for you to play. It’s easy for a small dog to get overwhelmed or startled by big dogs! When you are small, it’s tempting to be carried around, but it’s important to keep your paws on the ground. Being elevated gives a false sense of control, seeing our human as our backup. It also entices other dogs to jump up to get a closer sniff – that can be frightening! Bone up on your recall skills before visiting the park – this cue could save your life. Avoid canine clumping – multiple dogs playing nonstop for more than a few minutes – since they may get overexcited and tensions can soar. School your human on signs of happy play
LOVERS’
GUIDE
and signs of trouble. Relaxed bodies, play bows, bounciness, open mouths, and alternating between running, chasing, and sniffing around – all good signs. Stiff bodies, tucked tails, growls or snarls, fast movements, and rough play – all bad signs. Leave your treats and toys at home. Some dogs have possession aggression, so treats could spark a brawl. Same goes for any toys you don’t want to share. If, at any point, you are no longer having fun, or other dogs are getting out of control, you need to leave. On the other hand, if you’re having a spectacularly good time, convince your human to stay a little longer.
DOG WOOD PARK Off-leash hiking, swimming, agility course, playground equipment. Classes, dock diving, bathing, event area. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Mon.-Fri.; 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Sat. & Sun. Membership: $11 daily; $275 annually. 7407 Salisbury Rd. S., Southside, 296-3636, jaxdogs.com. JULINGTON CREEK ANIMAL WALK Off-leash nine-acre park, double-gated. 7 a.m.-7 p.m. Mon.-Fri., 8 a.m.-3 p.m. Sat., 2-6 p.m. Sun. Membership: $16 daily; $330 annually. 12075 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 300, Mandarin, 338-9480, julingtoncreekanimalwalk.com. PAWS PARK Off-leash park, large dog and small dog areas, watering bowls, benches. Membership: $10 daily; $50 annually. 468 Penman Rd. S., Jax Beach, 247-6236, jacksonvillebeach.org. ATLANTIC BEACH DOG PARK Fenced, gated small dog area; any dog allowed in large dog area at owner’s discretion. Membership: $10 daily; $50 annually/first dog, $25 each additional. 268 Aquatic Dr., Atlantic Beach, coab. us/dogpark. Davi mail@folioweekly.com _____________________________________ Davi is a brown dachshund with an appetite for adventure. He loves sweet potato treats, playing at the park with friends, and exploring the unknown.
PET TIP: LOVE BITES THERE’S NOTHING SO PLEASURABLE as petting your sweet pussy
as she – or he – purrs and snuggles close. You’re into it, your cat’s into it, or seems into it, when suddenly *chomp*, the moment is spoiled and your hand, or arm, or – eek – testicle is smarting. “But, baby, I thought you liked it,” you coo at the felonious feline, who by now is back to licking themself. It’s not that your cat doesn’t love you, it’s just that some cats can become perturbed – or feel threatened – by excessive stimulation. By learning the subtle warning signs that your cat is getting over-stimulated, you can avoid the sharp edge of those pearly whites.
UPCOMING PET EVENTS CONTINUED at Salty Paws Healthy Pet Market, 377 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach and 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Saturday, April 30 at 8449 Arlington Expressway, Arlington.; 635-3665, petlifesaverjax.com. LB REPTILE EXPERIENCE Members of the Jacksonville Herpetological
Society, this organization provides educational shows for schools, daycares, libraries, corporate events and birthday parties. The owners were recently designated nuisance alligator trappers for Fish & Wildlife Conservation Commission. For booking details, call 703-0249 or go to lbreptileexperience.com.
To see your pet event here, send event name, time, date, location with complete street address and city, admission price, contact number/website to print, to mdryden@folioweekly.com – at least two weeks before the event. MARCH 9-15, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35
FREEWILL ASTROLOGY
FOLIO WEEKLY MAGAZINE CROSSWORD by DALE RATERMANN. Presented by
SAN MARCO 2044 SAN MARCO BLVD. 398-9741
PONTE VEDRA
THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA
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1 Norma Sherry & Co., et al. 5 Manhattan Project creation 10 Back in Black band 14 Ain’t right? 15 *Former Tarkio (Mo.) College football recruit 16 *’92 North American Debating Championship winner 17 International defense org. 18 Joke responses 19 Local auto parts chain 20 *TV quiz show College Bowl contestant 22 Non-fraction in math class 24 Bo’s Club show host 25 Continent of Yingkou (Jax Sister City) 26 Wry and dry 29 From practically forever 34 Piece of turf at EverBank Field 37 Enjoys a book 39 Soothing succulent 40 March 15 event in Florida and hint to the starred clues 44 On a Victory Casino cruise 45 I-95 traffic problem 46 Take your pick 47 Get word to 50 Men’s clothing fabric 52 Alma mater of 20-Across
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AVONDALE 3617 ST. JOHNS AVE. 10300 SOUTHSIDE BLVD. 388-5406 394-1390 AVENUES MALL
54 Main artery at Mayo Clinic 58 Carnival Cruise Line destination 62 *Inspiration for a new Ben & Jerry’s ice cream flavor 64 Jax Beach bird 65 Flask & Cannon wahine dances 67 The Bee ___ 68 *Leading Republican in Florida’s first round of voting for President in ’88, ’92, 2000 and ’04 69 *Hollywood Walk of Fame star honoree 70 Latin class verb 71 Crafty website 72 Wise guys 73 Dance Trance break
1 From that moment on 2 Song of praise 3 Playful prank 4 Need an attorney 5 Jason’s mythical ship 6 Spend too much time at Mickler’s Landing 7 Japanese sash 8 Like JU cheerleaders’ skirts 9 Croatia neighbor 10 Dermatology concern 11 Steep, rugged cliff 12 Short copy? 13 Kaiser’s kin 21 ___ firma 23 Yulee Elementary playground game
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ARIES (March 21-April 19): “He in his madness prays for storms, and dreams that storms will bring him peace,” wrote Leo Tolstoy in The Death of Ivan Ilych. The weird thing is, this seemingly crazy strategy might actually work for you in the days ahead. The storms you pray for, tempests you activate through the power of your longing, could work marvels. They may clear away the emotional congestion, zap the angst, and usher you into a period of dynamic peace. So I say: Dare to be gusty, blustery and turbulent. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Quoting poet W.H. Auden, author Maura Kelly says there are two kinds of poets: argument-makers and beauty-makers. That’s an interesting way to categorize all humans, not just poets. Which are you? Even if you usually tend to be more of an argumentmaker, be an intense beauty-maker in the next few weeks. If you’re already a good beauty-maker, I challenge you to become, at least temporarily, a great beauty-maker. As much as possible, until April 1, choose beauty-makers as companions. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): To have any hope of becoming an expert in your chosen field, you’ve got to labor for at least 10,000 hours to develop the necessary skills – about 30 hours a week for six-and-a-half years. According to author William Deresiewicz, many young graphic designers no longer go by that rule. They say it’s more essential to cultivate a network of connections than to perfect artistic mastery. Getting 10,000 contacts is the priority, not working 10,000 hours. Don’t use that approach in the months ahead. According to my astrological omen-reading, you’ll be better served by improving what you do rather than increasing how many people you know. CANCER (June 21-July 22): “I sit before flowers, hoping they will train me in the art of opening up,” says poet Shane Koyczan. “I stand on mountain tops believing that avalanches will teach me to let go.” I recommend his strategy in the weeks ahead. Be in the presence of natural forces to inspire you to do what you need to do. Seek the companionship of people and animals whose wisdom and style you want to absorb. Be sufficiently humble to learn from the whole world through the art of imitation. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The marathon is a long-distance footrace with an official length of more than 26 miles. Physically fit and well-trained adults can finish the course in five hours. Here’s a much longer running event: the SelfTranscendence 3100-Mile Race. It begins every June in the New York borough of Queens, and lasts until August. Those who participate do 3,100 miles’ worth of laps around a single city block, or about 100 laps a day. This is an apt metaphor for the work you have ahead. You must cover a lot of ground to accomplish a big project, but without traveling far. Your task? Be dogged and persistent as you do a little at a time, never risking exhaustion, always pacing yourself. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In old Vietnamese folklore, croaking frogs were a negative symbol, thought to resemble dull teachers who go on and on in boring, pointless lectures. In many other cultures, frogs have been symbols of regeneration and resurrection due to the dramatic transformations they make from egg to tadpole to full-grown adult. In ancient India, choruses of croaks were a sign of winter’s end, when spring rains arrived to fertilize the Earth and bestow a promise of growth. The frog will be one of your emblems in the weeks ahead – for all those reasons. Your task? Overcome boring stories and messages and accomplish lively transformations.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “Your anger is a gift,” proclaims musician/activist Zack de la Rocha, Rage Against the Machine’s singer. That statement is true for him on at least two levels. His fury about systemic corruption infecting American politics has roused him to create many successful songs and enabled him to earn a very good living. Anger isn’t always a gift for all of us, though. Too often, especially when it’s motivated by petty issues, it’s a self-indulgent energy suck that can literally make us sick. Your anger next week will be more like de la Rocha’s: productive, clarifying, healthy. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “Even now, all possible feelings do not yet exist,” says novelist Nicole Krauss. In the weeks ahead, you’ll provide vivid evidence of her declaration. You may generate an unprecedented number of novel emotions: complex flutters, flows and gyrations never experienced by anyone. It’s important to acknowledge and celebrate them and refrain from comparing them to past feelings or feelings others have had. To harvest their full blessing, treat them as marvelous mysteries. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “Look at yourself then,” advised author Ray Bradbury. “Consider everything you have fed yourself over the years. Was it a banquet or a starvation diet?” He wasn’t talking about literal food, but the experiences you provide for yourself, to those you bring into your life, to sights, sounds and ideas you let pour into your precious imagination. Now’s an excellent time to take inventory of this essential question. If you find anything lacking in what you feed yourself, make changes! CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): According to a report in the journal Science, most of us devote half our waking time to thinking about something besides the activity we’re actually doing. We seem to love to ruminate about what used to be, what might have been and what could be. Consider reducing that amount in the next 15 days. If you can cut it down even a little, you’ll accomplish small feats of magic to stabilize and invigorate your future. Not only that, you’ll feel stronger and smarter, have more energy, and have a good chance to form an enduring habit of staying more focused on the present. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): One of the legal financial scams that shattered the world economy in 2008 was the product Collateralized Debt Obligation Squared. It was sold widely, even though noted economist Ha-Joon Chang says potential buyers had to read a billion pages of documents if they hoped to understand it. In the weeks ahead, it’s crucial you avoid getting involved with stuff like that – with anything or anyone requiring such vast amounts of homework. If it’s too complex to evaluate accurately, stay uncommitted, at least for now. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “I wish I knew what I desire,” wrote Palestinian poet Mahmoud Darwish, born under the sign of Pisces. “I wish I knew! I wish I knew!” If he were still alive, I’d have very good news for him, as I do for all Pisceans reading this horoscope. The weeks ahead are among the best times ever – EVER! – for figuring out just what it is you desire. Not just what your ego yearns for, not just what your body longs for – the whole shebang. You have the power to home in on and identify what your ego, body, heart, and soul want more than anything else.
Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com
NEWS OF THE WEIRD THIS IS HOW THE REST OF AMERICA SEES JACKSONVILLE
The Jacksonville City Council was addressing a proposed amendment to its Human Rights Ordinance (one that would specifically protect gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender citizens) in January when Roy Bay, 56, stood during the comment period and insisted that those kinds of lifestyle protections are what led him on a 20-year history of molesting one little boy after another. Gasps in the audience turned into cheers, however, when he reported he’d abandoned his bad self after becoming a “born-again child of God,” and realizing that it was not “acceptable” to assault kids even though he was raised in such an environment himself. Conveniently, the crimes are not prosecutable because of the statute of limitations. Fact-checkers, including FloridaPolitics.com, are still investigating Bay’s claims.
THEY’D BE RIGHT AT HOME IN JACKSONVILLE
Prosecutors in Spain finally filed charges this year against three women for a May 2014 protest apparently aimed at religious intolerance of homosexuality, asking the charges against the women be labeled anti-Catholic “hate” crimes. One judge particularly noted the anti-Catholic props — rosary beads, prayer lace, canonical hoods, and a 6-foot-high plastic vulva constructed to resemble a well-known representation of the Virgin Mary. In January, judges called police to court to help identify the women in videos of the protest.
THE WHEEL OF JUSTICE
In February, New York’s highest court finally said “enough” to the delays on a multimillion-dollar judgment for negligence that happened 23 years ago. Linda Nash had sued, among others, the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey for injuries she suffered when trapped in an underground parking garage during the World Trade Center terrorist act. (Not the one in 2001; the bombing eight years before that, which killed six and wounded more than 1,000).
Nash was 49 that day and is 72 now, and after winning a $5.4 million jury verdict in 2005, endured 10 more years of appeals. In its final, unsuccessful motion in the case, the Port Authority said it spotted a technicality and Nash should start over.
HALCYON DAYS OF POOH
Retired engineer Harry Littlewood, 68, watching workers tear down outdated public housing in Stockport, England, recently, rushed over to ask the local Stockport Council about recovering a “souvenir” since the teardowns included his childhood home. The council agreed, and Littlewood was awarded the toilet he’d used as a boy. “I never thought I’d see it again,” he mused. He said he’d probably turn it into a planter.
WE’RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER CINDERELLA
Local governments in Taiwan’s Southwest Coast National Scenic Area in Chiayi province recently put finishing touches on a 55-foottall “church” in the form of a shoe made from more than 300 glass panels (costing about $680,000). According to a BBC News dispatch, no religious services will be held there; rather, the church will be a destination for weddings and feature other events tailored for glassslipper-obsessed females.
BOO-EFFING-HOO
Several students at the Ivy League’s Brown University complained (quoted in a February student newspaper story) that classroom work (ostensibly what Brown charges $50,000 a year in tuition for) was increasingly a burden, distracting them from their more important calling: organizing and protesting against various “injustices” on campus. Students were underperforming academically and suffering health problems and anxiety issues because, said the students, Brown still expects them to complete course requirements even though they’re busy denouncing racist columns in the student newspaper and challenging the weakness of Brown’s “diversity” policies. Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net
Love is in the air … just inhale, right? Hah! Let Folio Weekly Magazine clear your path to partnership and passion. Connect with that surfer hunk you saw at the Young Vegan Professionals meet-up, or the goddess at Target who “accidentally” dropped a jasmine-scented kazoo in your cart. Go to folioweekly.com/i-saw-u.html and fill out the FREE form correctly (40 words or fewer, dammit) by 5 p.m. Friday – next stop: Bliss! GANESH TATTOOED HOT BLONDE GODDESS With ball cap. Thanks for letting me take pic of adorable Ganesh on your beautiful arm! I was totally intrigued, want to connect over chai sometime. The pic got overwhelming likes on IG! When: Feb. 27. Where: SeaWalk Pavilion Jax Beach. #1598-0309
WATER AISLE You: Commented on water price; beautiful blond hair, jeans, sweater, very warm and kind. Me: Gray hair, blue eyes, shirt, jeans. We both drink coffee; would love to share a cup with you. When: Jan. 9, morning. Where: Walmart@foursquare/ U.S. 1 & Southside. #1586-0113
SCRUBS FROM ST. V @ PUBLIX We checked out at same time; you had St. V lanyard, pinenuts (or similar), yogurt and other things. Handsome! I was too shy to say anything; regret not speaking when I left parking lot. When: Feb. 18. Where: Publix Riverside. #1597-0224
CHAMBLINS CHAMPION You had two enormous boxes of books. I held the door open for you. You: Blonde hair, glasses, great smile. Me: Tall, blonde. Would love to discuss literature sometime! When: Dec. 29. Where: Chamblins Uptown. #1585-0106
LOVE THY NEIGHBOR Sharp-dressed man getting out of blue car to check mail. Me: Dark hair, blue eyes. Speechless at such a good-looking man in the complex. Your building’s somewhere in the 20s. Let’s do some neighborhood loving?! ;) When: Feb. 16. Where: Green Tree Place Apartments. #1596-0224 MY ANSWER IS YES You: Very shy. Me: Waiting by the phone. Please call again sometime; I really love your voice! I don’t have your number or I’d text you like I used to. That was fun, wasn’t it? When: Feb. 11. Where: Telephone line. #1595-0217 ENAMORADA DE TI... Cada vez que puedo me escapo y regreso a donde tu y yo nos vimos por primera vez. Tu: Alto, distinguido. Yo: Chiquita, ojos grandes. Tu tenias un Polo negro, con tu pelo canoso muy buena combinacion. Espero seguirte viendo para siempre. When: Hoy, manana, siempre. Where: En mis suenos. #1594-0217 PIERCED GIRL WITH DOG You: White SUV, cool shirt, septum piercing, pitbull Scout with heartworm. Me: Guy dressed too warmly for cold morning, with bull mastiff. You tried to talk; I’d been awake 20 minutes. Thinking about missed chance. Let’s meet. When: Feb. 9. Where: Baymeadows Animal Hospital. #1593-0217
WELCOME TO ME! You: Tall, dress shirt, tie. I walked by to get your attention; you were on Bible app on phone. Please come back next Sunday, and I will try again. When: Jan. 3. Where: Moe’s @ Avenues. #1584-0106 NEED TLC You: Raven-haired nurse; funky glasses, chatting with co-worker. Me: Curiously smitten; backpack, sling; visiting pre-op over year ago, saw you eating fresh. We have some FB friends in common. Who are you? When: Oct. ’14 & now. Where: St. Vincent’s Subway/FB. #1583-0106 LET’S RIDE TOPLESS TOGETHER You: Sexy, dark, handsome, sideways ballcap-wearer, BMW convertible. Me: Hot pink, caramel-covered sweetness, MB convertible. Pressed my horn, blew a kiss. Like a real one in the woods? You know where I am. When: Dec. 26. Where: Leaving UNF Nature Trails. #1582-1230 JAX BEACH EARLY A.M. PHOTOS Enjoy sunrise near 34th Ave.; struck up conversation. Asked to take your photos. You: White shorts; got wet as waves caught you. Never gave you my card to send the pix. When: Sept. 28. Where: Jax Beach 34th Ave. S. #1581-1230 TATTOOED REDHEAD, ARCHAEOLOGY BOOKS After clarifying sweater was indeed women’s, you laughed at my remark about you fitting into clothes. Our interaction made my day. Judging from book cover, know carbon dating’s your thing. Coffee dating sometime? When: Dec. 11. Where: UNF Bookstore. #1580-1230
TANGO FOR TWO Dance Shack free lesson night. You: Brunette, cute smile, gray booties. Me: Tall, dark eyes, black V-neck. You wanted to stay and tango; didn’t hear you. My friend told me later! Offer still stand? Lesson’s on me. When: Feb. 5. Where: Dance Shack. #1592-0217
PUT MY FIRE OUT You: Cute fireman, glasses, looking at stuffed dinosaurs. Wish you’d put my burning desire for you out with your big fire hose. Me: Brunette, yoga pants, hoodie. Too shy to introduce myself. Wish I’d said hello. When: Dec. 9. Where: Publix off Kernan & Atlantic. #1579-1216
RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE You: Looking fine, dressed sharp in sweater vest for Bible study. Me: In church parking lot, to go to Firehouse; did triple-take when I saw you. You make this girl want to go back to church. When: Jan. 27. Where: Southside Baptist Church parking lot. #1591-0217
ALRIGHT NOW! You: Tall, handsome, sweet leaf. Me: Just a duck. Let’s play Jenga @ Across The Street! When: Dec. 1. Where: Post & Edgewood. #1578-1216
YOU: THE FIRE First saw you at Fat Kat, September 2003. You: Most beautiful woman I’d ever seen; still most gorgeous woman I know, my heart’s desire. Cannot wait for our lips to reunite! I love you most! Love, M.P. When: 2003. Where: Fat Cat. #1590-0217 PRETTY SMILE SAW U TWICE You: Blonde, pretty smile; in Publix, 4:30 p.m. Me: Black cowboy hat; cold outside. You smiled at me (think it was me) passing by. You passed again, smiling, caught me off-guard. Love to get to know you! When: Jan. 23. Where: Publix@ Southside/Touchton. #1589-0217 HAD ME AT GO ’NOLES! Seminole/Armada games, losing beer pong, Pub subs, laughs, cheek kisses = last “first date” I want. You stole my heart; don’t want it back. The start of something sweet? Say you agree; stay forever! When: Oct. 3, ’15. Where: The Garage/ Baseball Grounds. #1587-0120
GOOD LUCK CHARM TEACHER You: Blonde, glasses, long red skirt and shirt, wrist tattoo, near where I studied for final, grading papers. We talked, you said good luck, get sleep. Me: Gray sweater, white collared shirt. Coffee, talk again? When: Dec. 3. Where: Bold Bean Coffee Roasters Riverside. #1577-1209 GIFT WRAP MY HEART You: Beautiful, tall, brunette, green eyes, longest eyelashes ever. Me: Secret admirer. We chatted; fell for little freckle by eye, infectious smile. Could listen to you talk gift-wrapping all day. Burger and fries? When: Last week. Where: MOSH. #1576-1209 PLUMBA A penguin sighting that can only compare to Anton Ego’s flashback in Ratatouille; you bring me back to a happier place. Sweaty palms for this lucky bear indicate that we miss each other’s face. One434Evr. When: Anytime. Where: Anywhere. #1575-1209 GREEN SUNGLASSES I see you everywhere. Can I take your sunglasses and smack you with them? You’re too cute for your own good. You’ll never notice me though. When: Every day. Where: FSCJ. #1574-1209 MARCH 9-15, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37
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FOLIO VOICES : BACKPAGE EDITORIAL
Letter from SOUTH AFRICA
WE WILL
RISE UP Originally printed in Style Weekly, Richmond, Virginia, in 1988. Johnny Clegg & His Band perform March 18 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall. ______________________________________ JOHANNESBURG, REPUBLIC OF SOUTH AFRICA – Life goes on here in South Africa, as political conditions grow more ominous. People get up and go to work every day, white ones driving their cars, black ones rising before the sun to make the two-hour bus trip in from the townships. City streets bustle with people going about their business; white men in suits, black men in suits; white men in shirt sleeves, black ones in tatters. There are buildings being torn down and new ones going up, to the tune of jackhammers and staining cranes. Slick shopping malls wind around offices and highrise hotels whose mirrored sides reflect the sun. In restaurants, businessmen and women have lunch, and here and there, blacks and whites share tables, in probably the same proportion as one would see in Richmond: small. In many ways, Johannesburg could be any other cosmopolitan city in the First World. But it is not. The city’s small things say so. A crumpled black woman sits on the sidewalk shucking and selling corn, called “mealies.” Another on the corner holds a crudely lettered sign advertising hairdressing services of a shop or person somewhere. Others carry bundles on their heads or babies on their backs. On Diagonal Street, Johannesburg’s Wall Street, there’s a bona fide witch doctor’s shop, Kwa-Zulu-Muti, just a stone’s throw from the gleaming, diamond-shaped De Beers headquarters designed by a Chicago architect. Then there’s the ugly reminder that this is not just Africa but South Africa, on signs outside a public restroom indicating which side is for whites and which is for blacks. This is actually an erroneously remaining vestige of a law no longer enforced by the Johannesburg city council, though in other areas, such signs remain. It is the details, the nooks and crannies of urban South Africa — emphasis on urban, because rural is another story — that illuminate the realities here. The passing scenes of people in day-to-day life become microcosms of this society and the insane situation it has put itself in. Some of these are quite banal; others are extraordinary. At a concert several weeks ago in Johannesburg’s Market Theater, there was in one room, amid maybe 200 people in the span
of several hours, a tiny but complete piece of South Africa, its doom and its hope. Performing are Johnny Clegg and the band Savuka, who have just recorded a new album in America and are about to launch an international tour. For those who don’t know him: Johnny Clegg is a white Zulu. And for those who don’t appreciate the anachronism implied by the words “white” and “Zulu” used together, a little background is in order. The Clegg family played native African “kwela” and “mbaqanga” music at home, and when Johnny was about 14, more than 20 years ago, he befriended a Zulu janitor and street musician in Johannesburg and asked him for guitar lessons. This led to his developing a network of black friends and fellow musicians who taught him Zulu songs and dances. They’d play in garages, on rooftops, anywhere they could snatch a few hours. It was a risky undertaking for all of them, with Clegg being arrested more than once for violating the Group Areas Act. Meanwhile, Clegg formed a close relationship with a Zulu, Sipho Mchunu, which resulted in a wildly successful band, Juluka (Zulu for “sweat”), whose albums turned gold and platinum. In live performances, audiences were astounded at the sight of Clegg and Mchunu doing Zulu dances together, leap for leap. (Seeing Clegg onstage brings to mind the absurd idea of Bruce Springsteen and Michael Jordan in one body.) Juluka toured the U.S. and Europe in the early ’80s, but the band eventually broke up. By this time, though, Clegg had been fully accepted by the Zulus in rite and ritual — something to which few whites ever aspire, much less achieve. Now back to the present. Savuka is Clegg’s current band. It’s opening night of the group’s two-week-long gig here, just days after the headlines screamed of new clampdowns on such organizations as the United Democratic Front (the political arm of the African National Congress) and the Detainees’ Parents’ Support Committee, the arrests of Desmond Tutu and Allen Boesak, and the unimpeded march of the blatantly fascist AWB up the steps of the Union Building in Pretoria. There is tension in the room, the caution that comes from selfconsciousness. Clegg’s music is no firebrand, but it isn’t apolitical, either. There’s only a handful of blacks here, perhaps because it is a weeknight and
transportation to and from the townships is difficult to come by. When Clegg begins to play, after an introduction in English and in Zulu, several of the black men rise and begin shouting and dancing almost immediately. A white usher appears just as quickly and asks them to move to the open are behind the chairs, presumably designated for dancing. There is no incident. They just keep dancing. And what dancing it is! Not on its wildest night has any American disco seen the likes of it. Mostly men, they dance alone, in twos, in threes, each to his own and then responding to one another. Jumping, bending, stooping, undulating. They look like swimmers, then snakes, then human pistons of a powerful engine, oblivious to anything but the music and the movement of their bodies. The music, African rock, is alternately jaunty and lighthearted, then gentle and pleading. A Zulu song about mothers-in-law draws a particularly rousing response from the dancing men. The ballad “Asimbonanga,” Zulu for “I have not seen him,” is a soulful tribute to Nelson Mandela and others here detained or dead. It brings tacit recognition to the faces of all, black and white, some who sing along, raising clenched fists in salute. By now, many have succumbed to the intoxication of this music and have left their chairs for the dance floor for the remainder of the show. Witnessing something like this, one young white South African woman remarks, makes one believe there is hope. Even here, through the smoky haze of a music hall, one glimpses this troubled nation’s optimism, its dread, and, in some cases, its apathy. In the middle of the floor, a white woman and a black man embrace, swaying to the music. A few steps away stands a white man, alone, obviously getting the message of the music but somehow unable to respond completely; his hands seem glued in his pockets. The image of him especially is vaguely insidious, a symbol of part of the problem here. Still, the meaning of the word “savuka” is “we will rise up.” At least the guy with his hands in his pockets is listening. And sooner or later, he’ll have to take his hands out. Frances Schultz mail@folioweekly.com ______________________________________ Schultz authored several books, including “The Bee Cottage Story: How I Made of Muddle of Things and Decorated My Way Back to Happiness.” MARCH 9-15, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 39