04/20/16 Kids Directory & Earth Week 2016

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THIS WEEK // 4.20-4.26.16 // VOL. 29 ISSUE 3 COVER STORY

KIDS DIRECTORY [12] Get your kids’ summer geared up and ready to go with a little help from Northeast Florida’s best guide to everything kids want to do.

EARTH WEEK 2016

Celebrate the planet with us as we take a look at the health of our local environment. THIS LITTLE LIGHT OF MINE [ 14 ] Light pollution distorts the night sky and threatens life on Earth. BY YANCY CLEGG A RISING TIDE [ 18 ] How will Northeast Florida overcome the imminent impact of sea level rise? BY MATTHEW B. SHAW

FEATURED ARTICLES

MONEY, POWER, RESPECT 10] SET AND SETTING BY AG GANCARSKI How the post-Ander Crenshaw era in Congressional District 4 will shake out.

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BY DANIEL A. BROWN Amer Kobaslija creates paintings that are powerful meditations on our interior and exterior worlds.

IMPROPER ADDRESS

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BY STEVE HANSON Resident of the 32233 sounds off on proposed address change from Atlantic Beach to Jacksonville.

COLUMNS + CALENDARS FROM THE EDITOR OUR PICKS MAIL/B&B FIGHTIN’ WORDS NEWS ARTS

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FILM/MAGIC LANTERNS 30 LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR 33 MUSIC 35 DINING GUIDE 36 BITE-SIZED 37 PINT-SIZED 38

CHEFFED-UP PETS WEIRD / I SAW U CLASSIFIEDS CWORD / ASTRO BACKPAGE

DISTRIBUTION

Bobby Pendexter / cosmicdistributions@gmail.com PUBLISHER • Sam Taylor staylor@folioweekly.com / 904.860.2465

EDITORIAL

EDITOR • Claire Goforth claire@folioweekly.com / ext. #115 SENIOR EDITOR • Marlene Dryden mdryden@folioweekly.com / #ext. 131 A&E EDITOR • Daniel A. Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com / ext. #128 WRITER-AT-LARGE Susan Cooper Eastman sceastman@folioweekly.com CARTOONIST • Tom Tomorrow CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Rob Brezsny, John E. Citrone, Brenton Crozier, Josue Cruz, Julie Delegal, Jordan Ferrell, AG Gancarski, Dan Hudak, Dale Ratermann, Shelton Hull, MaryAnn Johanson, Keith Marks, Pat McLeod, Nick McGregor, Jeff Meyers, Greg Parlier, Kara Pound, Chuck Shepherd, Marc Wisdom VIDEOGRAPHERS • Doug Lewis, Ron Perry, Carl Rosen

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FROM THE EDITOR

JUST ANOTHER BRICK IN THE

WALLGATE The times, they AREN’T A-CHANGIN’ (at least not much) ART, LIKE BEAUTY, IS IN THE EYE OF THE beholder. It is only natural that the perspective of the beholder affects their judgment. In Jacksonville, where the responsibility to determine what constitutes “art” on the façade of a building rests on the shoulders of whichever Municipal Code Compliance Division officer happens to be summoned to the scene, art, like progress, is given narrow berth. In February, Steve Williams, owner of the Five & Dime building in Five Points, had an idea: Put out an open call for artists to paint on the blank wall in front of the building while it was being renovated. A gallery owner and artist himself, Williams says he’s always open to opportunities to help artists; “Wallgate,” as the project has come to be known, quickly became an inspiration. In just a few months, Williams said that hundreds of artists from all over the country, including some highly respected street artists, have added to the wall, which has become a living piece of art. Hurrah, Jacksonville! Not everyone was pleased with this development, however. Williams said that one prickly old curmudgeon expressed his displeasure with Wallgate in recent weeks, shortly thereafter, on April 15, a notice from the city appeared among the colorful motif. “This parcel of property is in violation of Jacksonville Ordinance Code, Chapter 518, Part 2, ‘Improved or Unimproved Lots and Exterior Conditions of Residential and Commercial Properties,’” it said. A big black X was marked next to “Graffiti,” beside which was scrawled a handwritten command to “remove or paint solid color.” The notice gave 15 days to comply; Williams said that no one contacted him before it was issued. It turned out that a single online complaint, presumably submitted by someone who was offended by Wallgate, had set the series of events in motion. Williams said, “It’s not really offensive … certain people in this neighborhood have this idea of what history is.” Happily, by Monday the city was singing a different tune and Williams said that it had agreed to dismiss the complaint. Artists remain free to express themselves on Wallgate. Hurrah, Jacksonville, right?

Well, sort of. This city has a conflicted relationship with all things that give off even a whiff of being progressive, including — some would say particularly — art in public places. For proof, see the many hours of law enforcement efforts that culminated in the 2014 arrest of Chip Southworth for his street art project, Keith Haring’s Ghost; see also former City Council president Clay Yarborough’s Puritanical defunding quest against the Museum of Contemporary Art for displaying a “pornographic” image — of a pregnant, shirtless woman in repose — by photographer Angela Strassheim. And how about Lane Pittman’s arrest for disturbing the peace by playing the “Star Spangled Banner” on the Fourth of July last year? It may have been more than two decades since Marilyn Manson was arrested for “violating the adult entertainment code” by fellating a dildo — not a penis, as The Daily Beast reports officers inexplicably believed in spite of Manson throwing the dildo out into the crowd afterwards (I don’t know of any man who would quietly endure that) — during a performance at Club 5, but this city hasn’t changed all that much since 1994, at least not in terms of the values of most powerbrokers. It seems as if every time Jacksonville makes the national newswire, it’s because some uptight, narrow-minded, fossil of a thinking person has gotten their panties all twisted up over something as innocuous as Elvis Presley’s wriggling pelvis or which bathroom stall adults use in public places. Wallgate is safe for now. But what about next time a city official has the opportunity, a clipboard and the authority to run roughshod over progress, art or freedom? Will they take a step back and admire something that is beautiful regardless of their ability to understand it? Or will they scratch their butt, scrunch their nose, harrumph, and hastily scribble a cease-and-desist notice to be plastered over someone else’s free expression of ideas, thoughts, art or gender? Think about this as the second, nay third, HRO debate bubbles to the surface in coming months. Claire Goforth claire@folioweekly.com APRIL 20-26, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5


GLOBAL GET DOWN! WORLD OF NATIONS

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The 24th annual World of Nations Celebration features the sights, sounds, tastes, and traditions of 31 countries, including (are you ready?) the Bahamas, Cambodia, China, Colombia, Cuba, Dominican Republic, Ecuador, Ghana, Haiti, Honduras, India, Jamaica, Japan, Mexico, Nigeria, Palestine, Peru, Philippines, Poland, Puerto Rico, South Africa, South Korea, Spain, St. Lucia, Syria, Taiwan, Trinidad & Tobago, Turkey, U.S.A., U.S. Virgin Islands, and Vietnam. Whew! 11 a.m.-9 p.m. Saturday, April 23 and 11 a.m.-6 p.m. Sunday, April 24, Metropolitan Park, Downtown, $5, jaxhappenings.com.

OUR PICKS

REASONS TO LEAVE THE HOUSE THIS WEEK

HITSVILLE U.S.A. MOTOWN THE MUSICAL Berry Gordy’s journey from being a

featherweight boxer to a 1960s soul and R&B heavyweight champion is played out onstage in Motown the Musical. Based on Gordy’s 1994 memoir To Be Loved: The Music, the Magic, the Memories of Motown, this Tony Award-nominated production features 66 tunes, including bona fide classics by The Supremes, Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder, Mary Wells, The Temptations, The Jackson 5, and other chart-topping artists from the legendary label’s roster. 7:30 p.m. Wednesday, April 20 and Thursday, April 21; 8 p.m. Friday, April 22; 2 and 8 p.m. Saturday, April 23, and 1:30 p.m. Sunday, April 24, Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, Downtown, $38.50-$103.50, fscjartistseries.org.

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DURTY & DOWNHOME LEGENDS OF SOUTHERN HIP HOP A celebration of hip hop and rap brewed up below the Mason-Dixon Line and heavy on the New Orleans tip, the Legends of Southern Hip Hop tour features live performances from Mystikal (pictured), Juvenile, Trick Daddy, Bun B, Project Pat, and Too Short. 8 p.m. Friday, April 22, Veterans Memorial Arena, Downtown, $57-$99, ticketmaster.com.

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THE ORIGINAL RACONTEUR

MARK TWAIN TONIGHT!

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22 VETERANS OF DISORDER NOFX If there’s one thing you can say about

aggro-punk kings NOFX, it’s that they’re never early for choir practice. Since 1983, these SoCal sk8er dudes have been rocking stages, leaving spent, satisfied crowds in their wake, all the while displaying an incredible resiliency of the human body’s central nervous system due to their renowned booze-and-chemical intake. Thousands of shows and 13 albums later and the boys show no signs of slowing down. This week, NOFX returns to Northeast Florida for a concert, and, just as cool, a book-signing for their new memoir, NOFX: The Hepatitis Bathtub & Other Stories. Book signing is 3 p.m. Saturday, April 23, The BookMark, Neptune Beach, bookmarkbeach. com; show 6 p.m. with Direct Hit and Mean Jeans, Mavericks Live, Downtown, $25 (all ages), maverickslive.com.

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In 1954, actor Hal Holbrook created the one-man show, Mark Twain Tonight!, a kind of onstage, dramatized recitation of works from the great American author/polymath’s writings. More than a halfcentury later and Holbrook continues to regale crowds with his humorous and downright convincing portrayal of Twain, earning a Tony Award in the process and keeping the legacy alive of The-Writer-FormerlyKnown-As-Samuel-Clemens. 7:30 p.m. Friday, April 22, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Performing Arts, Orange Park, $43-$63, thcenter.org.


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THE MAIL

MAKE THAT 31

RE: “29 Agitators, Truth-Seekers & Crusaders,” April 6 FOLIO WEEKLY MAGAZINE, IN ITS 29TH Anniversary Edition, April 6, 2016, honored “29 Laudable Northeast Floridians” and we are proud of every one. Jacksonville is a mosaic of diversified citizens from a variety of faiths, races and all walks of life. Many of us have a variety of disabilities. Many are now participating with our elderly communities with special needs. While each of our 29 individuals mentioned are to be appreciated, we have others whom we, disabled and elderly are very thankful for their efforts to assist us and to be our advocates. I can think of two who should be mentioned with respect and appreciation: Audrey Moran and Jerry Lapore. Audrey Moran, our advocate, is now a senior vice-president for Baptist Health and former director of the Sulzbacher Center. Residents of Sulzbacher in 2007 often called her “Mrs. Sulzbacher” because Audrey was accessible and always returned all her telephone calls regarding our disabled and elderly citizens in need of assistance. A person said, “Audrey is the kind of person that if something needs to get done and there’s no one there to do it, she’ll do it.” Audrey Moran is our advocate. Jerry Lapore, we learned in a December 2015 newspaper, is one of 20 volunteers authorized by the city of Jacksonville’s Disabled Services Division to render tickets to unauthorized cars illegally parked in handicapped-designated parking spaces. To receive a Special Vehicle Disabled Parking Permit is a difficult, time-consuming process. If one is in possession of a permit and was certified by a valid professional source, one can park in

our reserved parking spots. Very often there is a vehicle not entitled to that spot parked there. The newspaper article said “some volunteers have been threatened with violence and had tickets thrown at them. The worst run in was with two teens who cursed at Mr. Lapore, causing him enough concern to walk away.” According to the article, in the past year, volunteers have written more than 3,000 tickets. Jerry Lapore is our advocate. Richard Seltzer via email

WE G BACKHANDED COMPLIMENTS

RE: “Lights Out,” by Claire Goforth, April 6 KUDOS TO YOU ON YOUR ONESPARK ARTICLE! You indeed nailed it, particularly about the lack of substantive criticism of the venture. The media has been nothing but cheerleaders, and finally Messrs. Khan and Rummell got wise to hemorrhaging money. I rarely agree with you, or your predecessors, but I will give credit where credit is due. Wellreasoned and well-written. Congratulations! Steve Holder via email

ANOTHER EXCELLENT POINT

RE: “Sale of the Century,” by A.G. Gancarski, April 6 I WAS ON THE SIDE OF LETTING PROGRESS happen until I read this: “At the recommendation of city planners, on March 17, the Planning Commission approved a planned unit development for the project, a change from its previous zoning of residential, office and commercial.” So there are people that purchased their homes with the understanding that they lived in a particular zoned area, only to have that changed later. Tracy Rathburn via Facebook

LEND YOUR VOICE If you’d like to respond to something you read in the pages of Folio Weekly Magazine, please send an email (with your name, address, and phone number for verification purposes only) to mail@folioweekly.com, visit us at folioweekly.com, or follow us on Twitter or Facebook (@folioweekly) and join the conversation.

BRICKBATS + BOUQUETS BOUQUETS TO CATHLEEN O’BRYAN MURPHY On April 16, Friends of Willow Branch Creek hosted the first annual cleanup of the creek. Thanks to Murphy’s initiative organizing the event, a fleet of volunteers cheerfully spent part of their morning collecting cigarette butts, cans, bottles, and other debris – even a laptop! – with supplies lent and donated by Keep Jacksonville Beautiful and Springfield Preservation & Revitalization. Margaret Mead would be proud. (We are!) BRICKBATS TO JSO’S WORST On April 15, a FWM staffer witnessed a JSO officer berating the driver of a broken-down minivan for the offense of blocking one of the lanes on St. Augustine Road, north of Philips Highway. Rather than help her, after 5 to 10 minutes of haranguing, the officer sped away, leaving the driver, a teenage girl, weeping copiously behind the wheel of her disabled vehicle. BOUQUETS TO PONTE VEDRA HIGH SCHOOL’S GAY-STRAIGHT ALLIANCE The average teen’s life is filled beyond capacity with school, homework, trolling, sports, dating, gaming, analyzing the philosophical differences between Aquinas and Rousseau, etc. That activity overload hasn’t stopped the PVHS Gay-Straight Alliance – one of the largest clubs on campus – from putting in extra time and effort to raise money for local nonprofits, including JASMYN and PFLAG. DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? HOW ABOUT A BRICKBAT? Send submissions to mail@folioweekly.com; 50 word maximum, concerning a person, place, or topic of local interest. 8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 20-26, 2016


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FOLIO VOICES : FIGHTIN’ WORDS

MONEY, POWER, RESPECT How the post-Ander Crenshaw era in CONGRESSIONAL DISTRICT 4 will shake out

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LAST WEEK, I PARTICIPATED IN a Florida TaxWatch Panel in the Holland & Knight Offices, 39 feet above Laura Street. One notable thing about that panel discussion was the room’s walls, flush with reminders of a great congresswoman and Jacksonville City Councilwoman from a time gone by, Tillie Fowler. I couldn’t take my eyes off the painting of Fowler, who served with distinction and grace in Congress from 1993 to 2001. Nor could I stop noticing the framed articles on the opposite wall. Fowler was a legendary public servant even before she went to Congress. Though she ran on term limits, by the time 2000 got here, there was a groundswell among the people saying that maybe she should break that “8 is enough” pledge. Fowler, of course, didn’t break that pledge. She wouldn’t have the 44-year career that her immediate predecessor, Charles Bennett, had. Some of you know Bennett as “that statue in Hemming Park.” However, for those of us old enough to remember, that Blue Dog Democrat was our area’s representative. In high school, I went to a Charles Bennett town hall event, way across town. I’m not going to pretend like I remember it in any real detail. That said, I remember the experience. I looked at him, and he looked like a Congressman. Not a crime show version, but a civics class one. He seemed like he should be our area’s representative. I didn’t know he’d gone four decades without missing a vote. I didn’t know he had founded the House Ethics Committee. You don’t learn that stuff in high school history. In many places, you don’t learn anything in high school history. All the better to Make America Great Again. Ander Crenshaw is cut from the same mold. Never the loudest guy in the room. Never the most controversial. Never the furthest right. Sure, he gave the wingnuts some quotes from time to time. After he voted for Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP) in 2008, he nonetheless lauded the Tea Party in a pro forma quote a year later. He didn’t really mean it. And they must have known it, because in 2014 there were some of them talking up carpetbagging Ryman Shoaf like he, from Fleming Island, was the cure for what ailed the 4th Congressional District. It was hard to tell if anyone was going to run against Ander this time around. No one had filed, except two NPA candidates … one of them being a guy whose “workers of the world unite”-styled screeds always turn up in Lenny Curry’s mailbox. Maybe someone would have gotten in the primary. Maybe not. But Ander was done.

He told his staff days before he told the world so they could prepare. Kent Justice tweeted that Ander thought it over during Easter and realized that, at 71 years old, it was time. Usually, people don’t get to pick how they leave the game. Look at Corrine Brown. She still hasn’t filed for re-election, in part because she’s still fighting the east-west district map (and the race it would offer in Blue Dog Democrat North Florida, where she isn’t as beloved as she is in her current district, especially by sitting politicians and their operatives). It’s not ending prettily for Corrine. Best case scenario: She somehow beats this thing, gets the redistricting reversed and the investigations into her and her associates’ activities just fade away. Is that likely? Nope. But suppose it happens? What then? Simple: She’s a 69-year-old lady running the treadmill between Orlando and D.C., Gainesville and D.C., Jacksonville and D.C. She’s getting older. And, believe it or not, there’s more to life than floor votes and press conferences, than the haters and the supplicants. There’s more to life than the pursuit of power. Or so I’ve been led to believe. In January 2017, Ander Crenshaw will be able to leave D.C. on his own terms. Celebrated as a man of honor. That beats many alternatives his former colleagues have seen. The question for CD Four is, “What now?” Or rather, “Who?” Many politicians stuck their foot in the water. Property Appraiser Jerry Holland initially said he might put $500K into his campaign account (but on Monday said he had decided not to run). State Senator Jay Fant could do the same, if he wants in. Duval County Tax Collector Michael Corrigan is looking at it. It’s hard to resist. It’s a safe, safe seat, if you can get elected as a Republican. About the only person to formally rule it out is former mayor John Delaney. It looks like, at this writing, the establishment is inclined to coalesce around John Rutherford, who said Friday he was in. Mayor Curry, who owes a lot of his election to Rutherford, and his moneymen back him. Others will follow… Even if seemingly half the Republicans over 50 in Duval say that people want them to run. Rutherford won’t do 16 years like Crenshaw did. Eight is more likely. That would set up an open seat in 2024, and in 2023, Lenny Curry would be cleared to run. And win. Sometimes you don’t need a crystal ball to see the future. AG Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com twitter/AGGancarski


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Kids can play court sports, learn to skate or improve skating skills at the camp for all skill levels, offering on and off ice instruction and age-appropriate activities, including football, hockey, soccer, kickball, lacrosse and volleyball, and traditional camp activities. Call for dates, fees and schedules.

K I D S

JACKSONVILLE SUNS BASEBALL Bragan Field, 301 Randolph Blvd., Downtown, 358-2846, jaxsuns.com The Suns swing for the fences against other Double A teams from around the region throughout the summer. The Suns also offer kid-friendly events, including Kids Run the Bases on Sundays, Kids’ Clinic, Scout Campouts, Celebration of Reading days, Fifty-Cent Family Feast Nights and Report Card Night. Camp Days for campers’ field trips are also offered.

DIRECTORY 2016

O

ur planet is a gift from our forebears and we, in turn, will re-gift it to the generations that follow. Much like that dubious Peonies-and-turpentine lotion that your grandmother routinely distributes at birthdays, Hanukkah and Easter (Nanna’s more inclusive than she used to be), the Earth we are re-gifting may not be quite what our children and grandchildren want. At least not unless much work is done to reverse the damage we have inflicted. That’s why this year, for our annual Kids Directory issue, which coincides with Earth Week, we have focused on the planet. Like that lotion, Earth is smelly, watery and unnaturally bright. Fortunately, the last few generations have rediscovered the planet’s natural beauty and many have come to understand that amassing wealth and material goods does not inspire happiness or love, the two most precious of all human emotions. Today’s young lads and lasses are better equipped and more inclined to pursue an American Dream that their children and grandchildren will also have an opportunity to attain: a comfortable life that does not involve the reckless pursuit of wealth or power. By living sustainably and consuming just what they need to survive in comfort and ease, the youth of today are breaking new ground – figuratively – by repurposing the values and techniques of old. We are proud to share this galaxy with them and eagerly look forward to discovering the world they’ll create and, later, bequeath.

EARTH WEEK 2

PG. 14

THIS LITTLE LIGHT OF MINE

Light pollution distorts the night sky and threatens life on Earth. BY YANCY CLEGG

GET OUTSIDE

ADVENTURE LANDING 1944 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 246-4386, adventurelanding.com 4825 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 771-2803 2780 S.R. 16, St. Augustine, 827-9400 The Orange Park and St. Augustine locations offer mini golf, laser tag, game arcades, food and go-kart racing, while the Jax Beach site offers most of that along with water slides, a lazy river and a variety of splashy pools. Online discounts and season passes are available. National Miniature Golf Day is celebrated May 14 with specials. BITTERSWEET STUDIOS 3738 Southside Blvd., Ste. 106, 451-2627, bittersweetfirstudios.com The camp is for kids and teens interested in learning the aerial performing arts: acrobatics, aerial hoop, silks and vertical pole. Session 1 is held 9 a.m.-3 p.m., Mon.-Fri. June 13-July 1; Session 2 is July 11-July 29. Extended hours and a lunch program are available. Call for fees and details. BLACK CREEK OUTFITTERS 10051 Skinner Lake Dr., Southside, 645-7003, blackcreekoutfitters.com Black Creek offers standup paddleboard minilessons every other Tue. throughout the summer, as well as standup paddleboard yoga, kayak trips 12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 20-26, 2016

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A RISING TIDE

How will Northeast Florida overcome the imminent impact of sea level rise? BY MATTHEW B. SHAW

to many of Northeast Florida’s waterways and standup paddleboard demos on the ocean. Call for times, dates and fees. BURRELL’S CAMP CHIPPEWA 3111 Tiger Hole Rd., Southside, 737-4988, burrellscampchippewa.com Camp Chippewa was founded in 1970 for children ages 6-12. Campers grow physically and socially from outdoor experiences and physical activities, like canoeing, fishing, archery, swimming (daily), sports, tractor rides, commercial water slides, aerobics, organized games, music, field trips, and an annual talent show. In addition to American counselors, there are international counselors who provide a cultural experience. For 2016 England, Australia, Scotland, New Zealand, Hungary, and Holland are represented. Call for details, fees and schedules.

personal achievement climbing rocks. Party spaces available. GUANA TOLOMATO MATANZAS NATIONAL ESTUARINE RESEARCH RESERVE 505 Guana River Rd., Ponte Vedra Beach, 823-4500, gtmnerr.org GTMNERR’s environmental education center includes a museum-worthy display of animals in its ocean/estuary habitat, live fish and animal displays, and biweekly educational seminars. Weekly camps run June 13-July 29. Call for fees, schedule and details.

DRAGON BOAT CLUB 1187 23rd St. N., Jax Beach, 536-3475, jacksonvilledragonboatclub.com Camps include Dragon Boat 101 for beginners ages 12-18, 9 a.m.-noon, June 13-17, $140 week; advanced, June 27-July 1. Call for details, restrictions and more.

INFINITY ALLSTARS 14255 Beach Blvd., Intracoastal, 223-7600, infinityallstars.com The renovated 23,000-square-foot facility offers 9 weeks of themed camp fun to kids ages 4-12 daily gymnastics training on bars, beam, vault and trampoline, cheerleading class for stunts, tumbling, jumps and choreography as well as kickball, dodgeball and crab soccer and open gym time. Weekly activities include crafts, dress-up day, splash day and performance day. Sessions are held 9 a.m.-3 p.m. June 13-Aug. 12, $150 per week, with extended care available.

THE EDGE ROCK GYM 3563 Philips Highway, Ste. 702, 683-2512, theedgerockgym.com Kids can reach new levels of fun, fitness and

JACKSONVILLE ICE & SPORTSPLEX SPORTS & ACTIVITY CAMP 3605 Philips Highway, Southside, 399-3223, jaxiceandsportsplex.com

JACKSONVILLE ZOO & GARDENS 370 Zoo Parkway, Northside, 757-4463, jacksonvillezoo.org A variety of family events are held through the summer; for details and dates, go to the website. Along with a zoo full of creatures – jaguars, bongos, gorillas, giraffes – the zoo offers train rides, a 4,000-foot splash park, and a magnifi cent carousel featuring most of the exotic animals found at the zoo. Also, kids can feed the creatures at Stingray Bay, a water exhibit with sharks and rays. KAYAK AMELIA 13030 Heckscher Dr., Northside, 251-0016, kayakamelia.com Kayak Amelia utilizes kayaks, bikes and standup paddleboards for kids to access some of the most pristine ecosystems in Northeast Florida. Crafts, kayaking, paddleboarding, journaling, biking and hands-on activities are featured. Call for dates, fees and schedules. RELSON GRACIE JIU-JITSU/AERIAL ATHLETE 1701 Lakeside Ave., Ste. 1, St. Augustine, 494-8359, graciestaugustine.com For kids 5-13, this day camp features selfdefense, obstacle courses, bullyproof talks, healthy eating talks, indoor rock wall climbing, water sports, knot-tying, rope climbing and teamwork games. Camp runs 9 a.m.-5 p.m. or 9 a.m.-1 p.m., June 13-17. Call for fees and details. ST. AUGUSTINE ALLIGATOR FARM 999 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 824-3337, alligatorfarm.us In addition to a variety of animal species, the farm features a zipline ropes course Crocodile Crossing (must be at least 10 years old and 57 inches tall), the Alligator Farm lets you pose for photos with alligators and features twice-a-day feedings. The bird rookery offers up-close looks at nesting endangered birds, there’s a rainforest review, and crocs and other creatures abound in the zoo. ST. MARYS EXPRESS 1000 Osborne St., St. Marys, Georgia, 912-200-5235, stmarysrailroad.com The Express offers themed train rides, with discounts for groups of 10 or more. For tickets, details and schedules, go to the website. SUMMER CAMP First Coast YMCA, 12735 Gran Bay Parkway W., Ste. 250, Southside, 265-1775, firstcoastymca.org Sessions, held 6:30 a.m.-6 p.m. Mon.-Fri., June 8-Aug. 21 at more than 20 locations in Duval, Clay, St. Johns and Nassau counties; check websites for specific dates for locations. Activities include swimming, arts & humanities, math, science & literacy, indoor/outdoor sports, games and field trips. Check with your local Y for fees and details. TALBOT ISLANDS STATE PARK 12157 Heckscher Dr., Jacksonville, 251-2320, floridastateparks.org For family activities through the summer at all seven parks within the Talbot Islands territory –


Pumpkin Hill Preserve, Amelia Island State Park, Fort George Cultural State Park, Yellow Bluff Historic State Park, Big Talbot and George Crady Bridge Fishing Pier State Park – go to the website. TREE HILL NATURE CENTER 7152 Lone Star Road, Arlington, 724-4646, treehill.org The 15th annual butterfly festival is held 10 a.m.4 p.m. April 30, featuring crafts, food and drink, live music, a butterfly release, and kids’ activities, including a bounce house. Live animal programs and hands-on learning programs are offered from 9 a.m.-2 p.m., Mon.-Sat. Tree Hill, open 8 a.m.4:30 p.m., has 50 acres of trails, hummingbird gardens and guided nature walks. Check website for details.

STAGES OF GROWTH

ABELLA’S SCHOOL OF DANCE SUMMER INTENSIVES 1711 Lakeside Ave., Ste. 9, St. Augustine, 810-5670, abellaballet.com Students learn the fundamentals of ballet, contemporary, Latin, jazz, conditioning and choreography in the June workshops, for kids ages 8 and older, at a fee of $150 per week, held 12:30-3:30 p.m. June 8-11, 15-18, 22-25 and June 29-July 2. Additional classes in pointe or tap are held 10:30 a.m.-noon, $50 per week per class; advanced Mon. and Wed.; intermediate Tue. and Thur.; beginning Mon. and Wed. July Dance Intensive, featuring ballet and contemporary for ages 8 and older, at $125 per week, are held 10 a.m.-12:30 p.m. July 6-9, 13-16 and 27-30. ABT certified teacher Orlando Molina’s ballet master class runs 9:30-11 a.m. for ages 9-11; 11 a.m.12:30 p.m. for 12 years and older, July 21-23, $150 per child. CAMP APEX, APEX THEATRE STUDIO 5150 Palm Valley Rd., Ste. 205, Ponte Vedra, 476-5582, apextheatrejax.com Apex Theatre Studio offers a summer experience which encourages young artists to discover that they are creative, curious, passionate human beings. Each core action word – Challenge, Explore, Invent, Create – provides the jumping off point for summer workshops for young artists, ages 10-14. Camps meet Mon.-Fri., 9:30 a.m.-2 p.m.; cost is $250. ARTOGA 1840 Blanding Blvd., 477-0400, artoga.org Summer sessions are held 9 a.m.-3 p.m. June 13-Aug. 5 for ages 5-13. Before and after care

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Kids experience dinosaurs and all sorts of big ideas at the Museum of Science and History on the Southbank. APRIL 20-26, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 13


EARTH WEEK 2

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Light pollution distorts the night sky and THREATENS LIFE on Earth

THIS LITTLE

LIGHT OF

MINE

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acked tightly into suburban areas filled with streetlamps, floodlights, headlights and sports arenas, millions of children around the world may never see a starry sky. The once star-filled sky has been obliterated by light. A 1994 blackout left residents of Southern California frantically calling emergency services to report a strange, shining cloud in the sky. The people of Los Angeles were seeing the Milky Way, the galaxy that contains the Earth’s solar system (also the inspiration for Vincent van Gogh’s seminal work, “Starry Nights”), for the first time. For billions of years, plant and animal life has used the predictable rhythm of night and day to survive. Over the last several decades, humankind has become far more sensitive to the consequences of some pollution, but hasn’t paid much attention to the consequences of another harmful pollutant: light. According to NASA’s Blue Marble Navigator, Northeast Florida is one of the worst areas in the nation for light pollution, which disrupts the region’s ecosystem. One of the most affected species is the sea turtle. Treasured by the coastal community, sea turtles can live to 60 years old. However, very few of them live that long; only one out of every 1,000 hatchlings will see a full life. While predators and natural selection are responsible for many of these deaths, a large number of the more than a million hatchlings that die each year perish because of light pollution around their nesting grounds. According to the Florida Fish & Wildlife Commission, “Disorientation from artificial lighting causes thousands of hatchling deaths each year in Florida and is a significant marine turtle conservation problem.” In early May, sea turtle mothers build their nests above the tide line on Florida’s coast.

When the hatchlings break free from their shells in October, the brightest source of light — the horizon in natural conditions — guides them back to the ocean. If the light emanating from a nearby porch or a streetlight is brighter than the moonlit horizon, the hatchling instead follows the artificial light, to its demise. Awareness of this grim fact has begun to generate grassroots awareness and efforts to improve the chances of survival for sea turtle hatchlings. The Amelia Island Sea Turtle Watch is one such organization; it works to make certain sea turtles that hatch in the sands of Fernandina Beach have a better chance at survival. During the nesting season, the volunteer-run organization conducts searches for sea turtle nests at daybreak and dusk; it also offers information and suggestions to the general public on how everybody can help protect the turtles. Keeping the beaches free from harmful debris and litter is one of the key ways residents can protect sea turtles; another is dimming their outdoor lighting during the nesting season. If the night sky on the horizon is the brightest light – instead of those outdoor floodlights that provide an arguably false sense of security – the hatchling turtles have a better chance of making it to the ocean instead of dying on the sand under an artificial light. Certain species, particularly migratory nocturnal birds, may also be affected by light pollution. Unable to properly navigate by starlight, National Geographic reports that migrating birds can become disoriented and wander off course, sometimes crashing into brightly lit buildings or circling them until they fall to the ground from exhaustion.

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NASA’s Blue Marble satellite imagery from 2004 provides undeniable proof of light pollution, which has increased since then.

THIS LITTLE LIGHT OF MINE

<<< FROM PREVIOUS Florida State College of Jacksonville professor Dr. Mike Reynolds, a member of the nonprofit International Dark-Sky Association, which “works to help stop light pollution and preserve the night sky for future generations,” teaches his students about light pollution and associated environmental concerns. Dr. Reynolds spoke of the last significant asteroid impact to the Earth, which took place in February 2013 in Chelyabinsk Oblast in Russia’s Ural Mountains. A fragment 150 feet wide entered the Earth’s atmosphere and exploded. Thousands of smaller meteorites pounded buildings and toppled walls. An estimated 1,500 people were injured. Dr. Reynolds said, “There are not enough professional astronomers to cover the skies and search for incoming asteroids and larger fragments, called potentially hazardous asteroids [or PHAs].” PHAs are

spotted using cameras that are extremely sensitive to light. The pollution of light in the sky can make the search for these asteroids next to impossible. If humans continue to illuminate the night sky with commercial and residential outdoor lighting, what starry skies remain will fill up with light, and the dominoes will fall. Asteroids may enter the earth’s atmosphere without advance warnings, nocturnal predators will lose their hunting grounds to commercial and residential outdoor lighting and species like sea turtles and migratory birds will fall victim to what can only be described as deception. Additionally, the fatal attraction of insects to light may result in the decline of insect populations, which has the potential to negatively affect all species that rely on insects for food or pollination. The only way — as with any pollution — to effectively change it is to clean it up. The simple act of conserving electricity and being conscious of the effect that light pollution has on the environment can make all the difference. Save a light, save a life. Yancy Clegg mail@folioweekly.com

SIX WAYS TO REDUCE

LIGHT POLLUTION

FLIP THE SWITCH Much light pollution can be eliminated by simply turning off lights that are not being used.

FIND OUT IF YOU’RE PAYING FOR OUTDOOR LIGHTING Some utilities charge a fee for those lights that keep the neighborhood kids from being able to correctly identify Cassiopeia. If you’re being billed, they’re happy to remove the light.

REPLACE OUTDOOR LIGHTS WITH LOW-GLARE FIXTURES International Dark-Sky Association evaluates lighting for glare and efficiency and conveniently puts an IDA seal of approval on dark-sky friendly fixtures. They also maintain an online database of approved fixtures at darksky.org/fsa/fsa-products.

ADD MOTION SENSORS TO OUTDOOR LIGHTS Not only does this improve security, it diminishes light pollution and, as a bonus, saves money that could be spent on a high-powered telescope.

REPLACE HIGH-ENERGY BULBS WITH SOLAR-POWERED WALKWAY LAMPS, WHICH ARE INEXPENSIVE AND EASY TO MAINTAIN Take note that in recent years, a myth has been perpetuated that brighter, more efficient CFLs and LEDs are better for light pollution. The opposite is true.

CHANGE THE DIRECTION OF OUTDOOR LIGHTING While removing and replacing lights is ideal, much light pollution is purely the result of pointing lights in the wrong direction. Lights that point upward are wasting natural resources (coal power) and polluting the night sky with light. *Sources: Mother Nature Network, International Dark-Sky Association 16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 20-26, 2016


A wide variety of outdoor activities are offered all summer long at Episcopal School’s camps in San Marco.

K I D S DIRECTORY 2016 <<< FROM PREVIOUS are available. Each week is themed as the kids explore and learn basic theater and art skills in an environment that encourages personal exploration and thought. Daily movement, selfawareness, breathing and lifestyle techniques crafted to encourage a foundation of wellrounded self-confidence and mindfulness. CAMP BROADWAY Wilson Center for the Arts, FSCJ South Campus, 11901 Beach Blvd., Southside, 442-2932, artistseriesjax.org The annual camp introduces kids ages 10-17 to life onstage and behind the scenes, with training in acting, scene study, improvisation, music theory, solo and ensemble singing and dance. The self-contained, traveling workshop, staffed by choreographers, musicians and real Broadway performers, is held 8:30 a.m.-5 p.m. June 13-17; $575 includes a T-shirt, head shots, daily lunch and snacks. CAMP THEATRE JACKSONVILLE 2032 San Marco Blvd., San Marco, 396-4425 ext. 16, theatrejax.com During each four-week session, there are classes in acting, musical theater, dance, and improvisation taught by professionally trained instructors and directors. Each session culminates in a full production of an original show. Sessions for ages 7-13 are held 9 a.m.-2 p.m., Mon.-Fri., June 13-July 8 and July 11-Aug. 5; $530 per session. Extended day available till 5:30 p.m.; $10 per day. Discounts available for families with more than one child attending or for enrolling in both sessions. A nonrefundable $150 deposit is required upon registration. THE CULTURAL CENTER AT PONTE VEDRA BEACH 50 Executive Way, Ponte Vedra, 280-0614, ccpvb.org Camps are offered to encourage artistic expression, art appreciation and imagination through visual, culinary and performing arts. Supplies and snack are included. Arts camps and workshops are held weekly for ages 4-5, 6-8 and 9-16, June 6-Aug. 5. Fees vary; to register, call

280-0614 ext. 204 or go to the website. Early registration discounts available through May 16. CAMP CUMMER Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, 829 Riverside Ave., Riverside, 355-0630, cummer.org Elementary School Camp, for kids entering grades 1-6, is held 9 a.m.-3:30 p.m., weekdays, June 13July 29. Kids draw, paint, print and work with clay. Middle School Camp, for kids entering grades 6-9, is held Aug. 1-5, featuring painting, printmaking, drawing and clay techniques. Session fee is $180 for members; $200 nonmembers. Space is limited; call for fees and schedules. Extended care is available for elementary camp only. DOUGLAS ANDERSON SCHOOL OF THE ARTS SUMMER DANCE INTENSIVE 2445 San Diego Rd., Jacksonville, 390-2971, da-arts.org Session I runs June 15, 16, 20-22; Session II is held June 23, 27-30; $200 per session. Classes include ballet, modern dance and jazz. Call for details and fees. THE FLORIDA BALLET SUMMER PROGRAMS 300 E. State St., Downtown, 353-7518, floridaballet.org Young Dancers’ Workshop, held June 27-July 30, is a program of exploration and foundation for dancers ages 8 and older. The Summer Workshop is held 3:30-6:30 p.m. Mon.- Fri. June 22-July 25, for ages 8 and older, beginning and intermediate dancers; daily classes in ballet, pointe or prepointe, modern, and acting for dancers. Sessions are two, three or five weeks of study; audition required. The Florida Ballet Summer Intensive, held June 27-July 30, is a comprehensive course of study for the dedicated intermediate and advanced ballet student. Daily classes in ballet, modern, pointe, boys’ class and repertoire audition required. For fees and details, go to the website. HIGH SCHOOL SUMMER MUSICAL THEATRE EXPERIENCE Nathan H. Wilson Center for the Arts, FSCJ’s South Campus, 11901 Beach Blvd., Southside, 632-2347, fscj.edu The Summer Musical Theatre Experience gives area high school students hands-on experience with some notable local theater professionals at the Wilson Center. The 11th annual production features Cats. Auditions are April 30 and May 1 for

CONTINUED >>> APRIL 20-26, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17


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How will North heast Florid da overcome the imminent impact of SEA A LEVEL RISE?

story by MATTHEW B. SHAW

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ike many houses west of the Atlantic Ocean, but east of “the ditch,” Tom Larson’s home was built on top of soggy marshland blanketing a brackish tributary to the Intracoastal Waterway. Standing in his living room, Larson is pointing down at his feet. “This spot where I’m standing is approximately six-and-a-half feet above sea level,” says Larson, who spent his working career in finance and corporate strategy for major transportation companies. Outside, a fairly typical nor’easter is blowing, with heavy, 20-mile-an-hour winds relentlessly pushing the tops of the palm trees toward the southwest. “By 2060 or earlier, the latest reports say, the water will rise by two or three meters,” Larson says. “It’s hard to believe, even for me, but the water will be above my feet.” Larson, who calls himself a weather geek, has been interested in climate change and sea level rise for a long time. In the past, he’s been involved in several organizations concerned with the issue, including the Southern Alliance for Clean Energy. Larson

18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 20-26, 2016

photos by DENNIS HO

currently serves as a chapter leader of the Sierra Club of Florida. He’s read stacks of studies on the global and local impacts of sea level rise and has assessed the consequences for Northeast Florida. “We’ve got roads in San Marco and Ft. George Island that get inundated on a regular basis,” Larson says. “When those roads were laid down, they were put in places that never got wet.” Larson believes rising sea levels are an imminent danger to Northeast Florida. “Seriously, that’s the elephant in the room right now. Sea level rise is coming. What are we going to do about it?”

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istorically, humans have always built cities near bodies of water. Lakes, river mouths, oceans — it’s Anthropology 101 that water allows a culture to thrive, providing food, irrigation, and transportation. By these standards, satellite images of Northeast Florida reveal a relatively fertile region. There are risks, however. A growing body of research suggests that sea level rise, caused by global warming — also known as climate change — threatens to upend civilization. On average, climate change

is causing seas to rise globally by more than one inch every decade. That rate is increasing rapidly as rising levels of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere trap more heat, melting ice and expanding ocean waters. The National Oceanic & Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) concluded in 2013 that sea levels around the globe will undergo a rise of more than six-and-a-half feet by 2100. A more recent study by University of Massachusetts Amherst and Pennsylvania State University climate scientists predicts sea level rise to be nearly twice as high than NOAA has forecast. Regardless, the NOAA minimum prediction of three-and-a-half feet of sea level rise by 2100 is itself no small obstacle, as another study predicts that level of rise would displace more than 13 million people who live in coastal cities — and that’s without accounting for population growth over the next 84 years. Down south, in Miami — which is perpetually flooded and has already spent nearly one hundred million dollars to cope with the issue of rising sea levels – Tom Elfrink of the Miami New Times says, “Living in Miami and harboring any doubts about sea level rise is roughly equivalent to

being a volcano truther in Pompeii, circa 79 AD.” Shit is goin’ down. It’s time to prepare. A fictional story in Daily Kos imagines banks starting to withdraw investments in Florida in 2018. While many predict it will be the insurance companies, rather than the banks, that will initiate the major drop in property values, the story vividly imagines the financial consequences of sea level rise. It imagines that the second-largest state bank in Florida announces it will stop writing 30-year mortgages for low-lying, coastal properties and will write only 15-year mortgages for real estate purchases in select inland areas of northern Florida. The CEO of the bank explains that the decision is “based on the undeniable fact that much of South Florida will be permanently flooded by rising seas,” by 2050 at the earliest and “writing mortgages with repayment terms beyond 2048 would put those loans at great risk of not being fully repaid.” For anyone who was around in 2008, it’s not hard to imagine the reaction financial markets might have to such a drastic change in the issuance of mortgages. Such a scenario has the potential to set in motion a global financial panic. The depiction is not so very far-fetched, especially when one looks at current events. Following the 2015 climate change talks in Paris, the World Bank — an institution that considers alleviating world poverty its main role — decided that, moving forward, it would spend 28 percent of its investments directly on climate change projects, and that all of its future spending would take into account of global warming. According to University of North Florida professor Allen Tilley, it’s about time. “We have been like children spending the parental budget — the resources of the planet — with little regard for limitations,” he says. Tilley writes a weekly newsletter for the university that updates readers on the newest research related to climate change. He says no matter what we do to curb greenhouse gas emissions, “a certain amount of sea level rise is already baked in.” Tilley says the impacts in Northeast Florida will likely begin with the aquifers’ salinity increasing, which he says is already occurring. Local infrastructure — drainage, power and water supply, as well as transportation accommodations — will also be in serious danger. “The rate of sea level rise is likely to be beyond the abilities of most coastal communities to deal with,” Tilley says. “We need to face the possibility of relocation. [Northeast Florida] will probably be involved in resettlement efforts.” Tom Larson


courtesy of Climate Central

Post-2100 Sea Levels

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ore and more, the doomsday scenarios linked to sea level rise sound like this century’s version of all-out nuclear war. And, just like the late 1950s, the prospect of mutually assured destruction may be the only thing frightening enough to inspire action. Since publishing its regional action plan in 2013, the Northeast Florida Regional Council (NEFRC) has been working with local business leaders to begin planning for protecting the region’s infrastructure and coastal assets from the effects of rising sea levels. “The committee that worked on the regional action plan made a conscious decision to start by getting business leaders on board,” says Margo Moehring, the council’s managing director of policy and planning. “In many ways, the business community was already working on things related to climate change. With alternative energy and electric vehicles, they were already adapting to a changing environment.” Working with the conservative assumption of a sea level rise ranging from one to three feet by 2060 and three to six feet by 2110, the NEFRC mapped out the effects on community assets in nine jurisdictions across Northeast Florida. Maps created by the NEFRC indicating the impacts of the minimum predicted rise in sea levels on the city of Jacksonville show potential damage to several fire stations, hospitals, and JSO substations. The map of a one-foot sea level rise also shows the entirety of A1A — from Ponte Vedra to Fernandina Beach — under water. The NEFRC created the Public/Private Regional Resiliency Committee (P2R2) to educate local businesses on Northeast Florida’s vulnerabilities. In July, the committee — which culls its members from banks like Wells Fargo and Regions, organizations such as the North Florida Business Alliance, and local civic leaders including the mayor of Palm Coast and the chief of emergency preparedness for the city of Jacksonville — launched monthly meetings, called Regional Resiliency Evening Exchanges. The goal of each meeting is to help the community better understand what steps need to be taken to protect the local environment, economy, and residents’ health and personal finances. “I think we are moving in the right direction,” says Moehring. “We’ve started the conversation. Now the next step is to get local governments to take more of a leadership role.”

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hough no region in the U.S. can be said to be doing everything in its power to mitigate the effects of climate change, some areas are taking it more seriously than others. In June, when California has its presidential primary, residents of San Francisco will also vote on Measure AA, which seeks to institute a tax

that has the potential to raise $25 million a year to fund a number of projects that backers say will be necessary to protect the community from rising sea levels in the San Francisco Bay. Closer to home, low-lying St. Augustine stands to be greatly impacted by the increase in sea levels. As such, the Ancient City has decided to brace for those impacts. Recently the city spent $15,000 to commission a study from the University of Florida on sea-level rise. The study predicts that by 2030, roughly 25 percent of St. Augustine could be flooded due to a mere one-foot sea level rise. The city of St. Augustine’s Public Works Director Martha Graham told the St. Augustine Record that they’ve already begun working with the Florida Department of Economic Opportunity on a vulnerability assessment, and the city plans to design and implement adaptive strategies to deal with the rising waters. In Clay County, after being informed by NEFRC that plans for Green Cove Springs’ new police department offices placed the building in an area vulnerable to sea level rise, the municipality decided it would be a better long-term investment to build in a different area. In contrast, in February, the city of Jacksonville dropped out of an initiative sponsored by the Rockefeller Foundation, 100 Resilient Cities (“resilient” being the popular term for adaptation and protection from the impacts of climate change). As part of the initiative, the city would have received a $1 million grant to address extreme weather and sea level rise. Before dropping out, the city created a position, Chief Resiliency Officer, designed to connect the city with the initiative’s business partners and address the challenges associated with sea level rise. Mayor Curry’s Director of Community Affairs Charles Moreland was assigned the role. As of press time, Moreland had not responded to voicemails and emails from Folio Weekly Magazine.

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ack in the marshland of Jax Beach, Larson is marveling at the impact the strong nor’easter is having on the tides. “I can see the stormwater sitting just four inches below the grate!” he exclaims. Larson and his wife have considered moving elsewhere. For now, though, they’re staying put. “I’m not sure I want you to put that in your magazine because I don’t want to drive down the market price of my home.” [Laughs.] “This is the biggest deal that has happened to the planet in, like, 600,000 years,” he says, suddenly very serious. “And we’ve got to do something about it.” Matthew B. Shaw mail@folioweekly.com APRIL 20-26, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 19


There are much more than building blocks at Shiva Robotics Acedemy’s LEGO camps on the Southside.

K I D S DIRECTORY 2016 <<< FROM PREVIOUS students in grades 7-12. Performances are July 22-31. For fees and details, go to the website. LIMELIGHT THEATRE SUMMER CAMPS 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, 825-1164, limelight-theatre.org. Limelight Theatre’s KidzfACTory program offers one, two, and four-week summer camps for grades K-high school, including fully-staged musicals, theater basics/improv, storytelling, puppetmaking/ performance, musical theater basics, audition boot camp. One-week camps include “Charlotte’s Web” (K-2) and “Charlotte’s Web Puppet Theatre” (3-6); “The Lorax” (K-2) and “The Lorax Puppet Theatre” (3-5), and “The Wizard Of Oz.” Two-week camps include “Musical Theatre Madness” (grades 3-6) and “Musical Theatre Audition Boot Camp.” Four-week musical camps include “Emma: A Pop Musical” (grades 7-12) “Jump ’N’ Jive Juliet,” and “Props & Costume Camp (for Jump ’N’ Jive Juliet).” All camps include live performances. For more info on schedule and fees, go to limelight-theatre.org. MOCA JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, 620-3221, mocajacksonville.org/family/camps Child Development Resource Center, UNF MOCA Jacksonville offers Summer ArtCamp@ MOCA, creative art-making in the downtown museum (fees vary for age groups, times/days and location; details online) as well as on the UNF campus. Experienced art educators provide a variety of art-making activities. Kids are taught about contemporary art and increase their visual vocabulary. Classes for ages ages 4-14, ages 7-10, and ages 11-14 run June 13-Aug. 12. on the UNF Campus, for ages 6-9, sessions are full day. Check the website for fees and details. Extended day is available at the Museum location. PAINTING WITH A TWIST 1525 San Marco Blvd., 399-8399, paintingwithatwist.com Camp is held 9:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Mon.-Fri., June 20-24 (Zoo Animals Theatre), July 4-8 (Around the World) and July 18-22 (Movies Theme). Painting, crafts, snacks. $45 per day; $200 for a full week. 20 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 20-26, 2016

PLAYERS BY THE SEA SUMMER CAMPS 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach, 249-0289, playersbythesea.org PBTS offers small camps that encourage children to express themselves through the arts. Acting Workshop runs June 13-17, at a fee of $150. Musical Theatre workshop is held June 20-24; $150. Dance Workshop runs June 27-July 1, $150. Let’s Put on a Play runs July 11-22, at a fee of $375. Let’s Put on a Musical is held July 25-Aug. 12; $480. Campers rehearse, stage and perform a full-length show. Check the website for details, registration and policies. PRELUDE CHAMBER MUSIC 819 Park St., Riverside, 388-5738, preludechambermusic.org From beginners to master musicians, different tracks of small ensembles (usually 3-4 in an ensemble) are organized to play together for a week and give performances; June 12-19; bring a lunch; snacks provided. The coaches are from the Jacksonville Symphony and other professional chamber groups. Special guest performances are scheduled every day. Careful considerations are given to forming the ensembles, such as instrument mix, skills, performance experience, maturity and other details. All that apply are accepted – ages 5-18 and adults. For details, check the website. RIVERSIDE CHILDREN’S ARTS CENTER 2841 Riverside Ave., 389-1751, riversideartscenter.org Located at Riverside Avenue Christian Church, the arts center offers six weeks of camp. Sessions include visual arts, music, specialty classes, team-building games and outdoor play daily. Theme dress-up days and Friday performances are featured. Little Artists camp runs 9 a.m.-1 p.m. for ages 3-5, potty-trained, July 18-21, $100. Violin Camp for completed grades K-5 runs June 27-July 1 and July 5-8, 9 a.m.-3 p.m.; $200 first week, $160 second week. Middle Arts camp, for grades 6-8, runs 9 a.m.-3 p.m. July 11-15, $135. Elementary Arts camp sessions PK4-5, are held July 25-29 and Aug. 1-5, $135. Extended care, scholarships and sibling discounts are available. For details, check the website.

ACADEMIC

THE JERICHO SCHOOL 1351 Sprinkle Dr., Arlington, 744-5110, thejerichoschool.org School, clinic and summer program

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The little artists in your life will learn lots at Camp Cummer’s session in Riverside.

K I D S DIRECTORY 2016 <<< FROM PREVIOUS specializing in autism and other disabilities. Individual and small student-to-teacher ratio classrooms to maximize comprehensive individualized instruction, based on the science of applied behavior analysis and B.F. Skinner analysis of verbal behavior. LIGHTHOUSE LEARNING CENTER 550 Kingsley Ave., Orange Park, 657-1597, challengeenterprises.org/lighthouselearning-center The preschool provides specialized education for children with disabilities in an all-inclusive environment, alongside typically developing children. The Learning Center’s summer camp has specialized services and accepts kids 12 months-5 years. Camp is held 8:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m. Mon.-Fri., June 6-Aug. 5 at a fee of $110/week. Extended hours at an additional cost. Scholarships available for those with special needs. Weekly themes include Community Helpers, Science, Artists, Healthcare, Sports, and Technology.

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MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank, 396-6674, themosh.org The Summer Discovery Camps offer science, history and astronomy-themed programs for kids who have completed grades K-8. Kids conduct experiments, visit the Bryan-Gooding Planetarium, and see exhibits, including Darwin & Dinosaurs. One-week sessions run 9 a.m.-3 p.m., weekdays.

Extended care is available. Costs vary; for details, visit the website. SHIVA ROBOTICS ACADEMY 7044 Beach Blvd., Southside, 704-7046, shivarobotics.com LEGO Robotics summer camp for ages 3-13 teaches kids to design, build and program robots. It’s held June 13-Aug. 12, with daily or weekly options. $20 discount for early registration before May 15. Call for details and fees. ST. AUGUSTINE LIGHTHOUSE & MUSEUM 81 Lighthouse Ave., St. Augustine, 829-0745 Kids discover the Oldest City’s maritime past in Ancient City Explorers Camp for grades K-5. Field trips, science experiments, shipwreck archaeology, folk art and more. Five week-long sessions are held May 31-July 1. Call for fees and details. SWEET PETE’S 400 N. Hogan St., Downtown, 376-7161, sweetpetescandy.com Candy-making classes include chocolate, taffy and hand-pulled lollipops. Experienced candy-makers can choose truffl es or cordial cherry classes – or both. The sessions include ice cream from the dessert bar, a tour of the facility and the candy just made. Classes range from $15 to $22 per person. Most classes are appropriate for ages fi ve and older. Children younger than 16 must be accompanied by a paid adult. No unpaid participants are allowed in the classroom. For scheduling and details, check the website.


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FOLIO A+E : ARTS Amer Kobaslija creates paintings that are POWERFUL MEDITATIONS on our interior and exterior worlds

SET AND

SETTING T

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he 20th-century poet William Carlos Williams famously suggested that poetics be fueled by “Not ideas but in things.” The meaning of his statement has been argued for decades, pointing to the compositional, psychological, spiritual, and all points between. Whether through accident or intent, painter Amer Kobaslija embodies this tenet, pulling abstraction into a steady focus on mundane rooms and expansive landscapes. “Painting is a form of language aiming to articulate what otherwise cannot be articulated. Not so different from a poem except it’s non-verbal,” says Kobaslija. “The story is open-ended and open to interpretations. Paintings are portals. They are also mirrors, revealing as much about the seer as the seen.” His current exhibit at the UNF Gallery at MOCA, A Sense of Place, is a collection of 33 pieces ranging from miniature to medium to large scale, giving us entry into Kobaslija’s portals and mirrors, visions both revelatory and reflective. Artisteducator Jim Draper is coordinator of galleries for University of North Florida, including MOCA’s UNF gallery. “Two things interest me about Amer’s work. First is his complete mastery of the craft of painting. Each piece exhibits the flawless mastery of mark making. The fact that the paintings are finely crafted is eclipsed by the painter’s ability to tell a story,” says Draper. “His compositions remind us of a time when the artist was compelled not only to decorate, but to illuminate. Amer’s paintings are chronicles, narratives, and illuminations. They go far beyond being illustrations.” In the exhibit, the confinement of artist’s studios, bathrooms, and doorways is explored, along with often jarring exterior settings. Kobaslija describes his work as “hardcore painting,” an apt description for works rendered on panel or Plexiglas, swirls of oil paint applied in thick, meaty brushstrokes. “Growing up in pre-war Bosnia, then onward into the war years as well as the years of exile that followed, art has been a way of connecting to the outside world. Through painting I have found myself, and my place in that world,” says Kobaslija. “Since an early age, I was mesmerized with this gooey, creamy, juicy substance we know as oil paint. By definition, it is colored grease defacing a flat surface yet in reality there is more to it. Not unlike an alchemist, a painter uses inferior materials to create something precious and greater than the sum of its parts — and generating more energy than what goes into making it.” Amer Kobaslija, born in Bosnia in 1975, fled the war-ravaged country in 1993, finding refuge in Germany. In 1997, he and his parents moved to Jacksonville. After earning a BFA in printmaking at Ringling College of Art & Design in Sarasota, he received an MFA from New Jersey’s Montclair State University.

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Ko nos of p som Amer Kobaslija, Ruined House Near Kesennuma Port, 2011. Oil on copper. Kobaslija has been awarded the Joan Mitchell experience,” explains Kobaslija. “Which is Foundation Grant (2005), a Pollock-Krasner why these compositions appear skewed in Foundation Grant (2006), and in 2013 the perspectival sense, nonetheless accurate received a John Simon Guggenheim Memorial as they speak about what it means to be in Fellowship. Since 2005, he’s been represented that environment. With the interior scenes by New York’s esteemed George Adams the room walls provide structure and help Gallery, who issued an impressive monograph keep things in place. As for the open spaces of his work, while his paintings continue to — once the walls are no longer there — I sell at increasing prices. In addition, Kobaslija achieve structure by establishing a strong is an instructor at Pennsylvania’s Gettysburg figure-ground relationship: cliffs and water, College. Kobaslija now divides his time for instance. For the figure to exist I need to between the college, his studio in New York solidify the ground and vice-versa — and City, and Jacksonville. “I know one thing that together the two establish a sense of plausible matters in this line of work is perseverance,” space. If that relation is not resolved, I am left says Kobaslija of his hard-won achievements. with indeterminate space, which in turn is the “The best ones in our ranks know that this is closest thing to no space at all. Every painter a marathon, not a sprint. Like a chess player, knows this.” While other painters may know you have to think long-term.” these types of compositional Kobaslija’s preparatory methods, not many can put AMER KOBASLIJA: work is a combination of them to good use in the A SENSE OF PLACE Opening reception 6-8 p.m. April photographs, sketching, way that Kobaslija crafts 21, UNF Gallery at Museum of memory, and imagination. these kinds of snapshots of a Contemporary Art Jacksonville, “Basically, internalizing the reality both recognizable and Downtown. Exhibits through Aug. 14, mocajacksonville.unf.edu. scene and the narrative is what otherworldly. it boils down to,” says Kobaslija. Many of the room “The trick is not to limit oneself to a single paintings, tethered by the perspective of source of information.” looking downward from the ceiling, give The largest piece in the show, the triptych one an almost out-of-body sensation, as if rising and falling within these staid, somber Sputnik Sweetheart of New Orleans and the compositions. For example, with the piece End of the World (oil on panels, 2007), deals in the currency of an artist’s studio. A jumbled <Before the Deluge> (oil on panel, 2010), arrangement of wooden frames, a cluttered the viewer is aiming directly downward at a bed, canvases, paints, and ladders appear studio; while the eye moves naturally toward both chaotic and comforting, elevating a a clutter of newsprint, chair, and paints, the creative space to the sacrosanct. A similar activity on the surrounding walls seems to realm is addressed in the 2010 piece, Spirit push one upward, rather toward the room. of Place (Balthus, Rossinière), a study of the Whether this is a kind of parlor trick of enigmatic 20th-century artist’s working space a painter savvy to optical techniques or in Switzerland that has a similar ghostly, holy simply a byproduct of seeing a room from an quality. unconventional angle, it deepens the sense of Whether dealing with the domestic or atmosphere and presence in the painting. natural domain, Kobaslija seems to enjoy Additional pieces in the exhibit include working with controlled, fixed parameters, selections of his ongoing series that are stark as his landscapes contain this same sense ruminations on the 2011 earthquake and of measured, controlled space. “Interior tsunami that decimated Kesennuma, Japan. or exterior, through painting I seek to Ruined House Near Kesennuma Port (oil on transmit the feel of the scene in question. It copper) and View of Kesennuma I (oil on zinc is not as much about faithful, yet spiritless, panel, both 2011), the latter with its ships rendering of the surface of things, as it is flung along a shore like corpses and burning about conveying the phenomenological fires, are blunt reminders of the malevolent

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ARTS + EVENTS PERFORMANCE

A SEPARATE REALITY Flagler College’s Department of Theatre Arts stages a two-night series of one-act plays by the department’s graduating seniors, 7 p.m. April 20 and 21, Lewis Auditorium, 14 Granada St., St. Augustine, $5, 8268600, flagler.universitytickets.com. MARK TWAIN TONIGHT! A hit since 1954, actor Hal Holbrook’s one-man show, Mark Twain Tonight!, an onstage, dramatization of works by the great American author/polymath, 7:30 p.m. April 22, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Performing Arts, 283 College Dr., Orange Park, 276-6750, $43-$63, thcenter.org. FOLIO MEDIA HOUSE ALL THE WAY PREVIEW NIGHT Folio Weekly Magazine and Players by the Sea present a preview performance of All the Way, with hot hors d’oeuvres and a beer/wine afterparty, 7:30 p.m. (premiere reception 6:30 p.m.) April 21, Jax Beach, 249-0289, $23; $20 seniors, students, military, playersbythesea.org, folioweekly.com. ALL THE WAY Players by the Sea stages Robert Schenkkan’s drama about Lyndon B. Johnson’s actions during the era of the Civil Rights Act, 8 p.m. April 22 and 23, 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach, 249-0289, $23; $20 seniors, students, military; through May 7, playersbythesea.org. THEATER OF THE MIND: STORYTELLING Tale Tellers of St. Augustine present Kathy Duffy and MJ Harris in In the Balance: Tales of Truth & Justice, with stories, tales and songs of justice, and how people have tried to attain peace, 7:30 p.m. April 26, Limelight Theatre, 11 Old Mission Ave., 4710179, 825-1164, $10, taletellers.org, limelight-theatre.org. THE EXPLORERS CLUB Theatre Jacksonville stages Nell Benjamin’s comedy, about a late 19th-century adventurers club dealing with a (gasp!) woman who might be joining, 8 p.m. April 22 & 23; 2 p.m. April 24, 2032 San Marco Blvd., San Marco, 396-4425, $25; through May 7, theatrejax.com. THE 39 STEPS A parody of Hitchcock’s tale of espionage is staged 7:30 p.m. April 21-23; 2 p.m. April 24 at Limelight Theatre, 825-1164, $26; $24 seniors, $20 military/students, $10 student rush; through May 8, limelight-theatre.org. TILLY THE TRICKSTER Limelight Theatre stages Molly Shannon’s family-geared comedy, about a girl who’s the target of pranks and chicanery, 11 a.m. April 23, 825-1164, $26; includes one free child ticket, $10 each additional child; also April 30, limelight-theatre.org. MOTOWN THE MUSICAL A musical about world-renowned Detroit soul & R&B label is 7:30 p.m. April 19-21; 8 p.m. April 22; 2 & 8 p.m. April 23; 1:30 p.m. April 24, Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 Water St., Downtown, 442-2929, $38.50-$103.50, fscjartistseries.org. MARY POPPINS Amelia Community Theatre presents a stage adaptation of the popular story about a nanny who loves to dole out a spoonful of sugar, when she’s not taking flight, 8 p.m. April 20-23; 2 p.m. April 24, 207/209 Cedar St., Fernandina Beach, 261-6749, $25; $15 for students, through April 30, ameliacommunitytheatre.org. THE WIZ Tony-winning musical The Wizard of Oz in rock, soul, and gospel, through April 24. Dinner 6 p.m.; brunch noon; Executive Chef DeJuan Roy presents a themed menu; Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. ALMOST AHBA The musical revue pays tribute to Swedish pop titans ABBA and songs from Mamma Mia!, staged April 27-May 1. Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 641-1212, $64, alhambrajax.com.

CLASSICAL, CHOIR & JAZZ

SYMPHONY NO. 6 Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra plays Bruckner’s Symphony No. 6, 6 p.m. April 21, T-U Center’s Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 W. Water St., Downtown, 3545547, $35, jaxsymphony.org. KIA NICOLE & MJBAKER Soul singers Nicole and MJBaker perform, 9 p.m. April 22, Norm’s Alibi, 2952 Old Roosevelt Blvd., Riverside, $10, 384-9929, normsalibi.com.

COMEDY

FRED’S ALL-STAR COMEDIANS Northeast Florida’s Brian Thomas, Tommy Torres appear, 7:30 p.m. April 20; Reggie Moss, Spike Yoder are on 7:30 p.m. April 27, The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, 292-4242, $10, comedyzone.com. DOMINIQUE Comedy queen Dominique (Tom Joyner Morning Show, Chappelle’s Show) is on 7:30 p.m. April 21; 7:30 and 9:45 p.m. April 22 and 23, The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, 292-4242, $$20-$23, comedyzone.com.

ART WALKS & MARKETS

ARTS IN PARK 2016 The 13th annual Beaches fest features original works by area artists in a variety of media, along with family-geared fun, 10 a.m.-6 p.m. April 23 at Johansen Park, 1300 Seminole Rd., Atlantic Beach, 247-5800, coab.us. RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Local/regional art, music – Al Poindexter, Canary in the Coalmine, Mary-Lou – farmers market, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. April 23 under Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside, free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com. JAXSON’S NIGHT MARKET Street food vendors, craft beer, local farmers, artisans, craftsmen, 5:30-9 p.m. April 21, Hemming Park, Downtown, facebook.com/jaxsonsnightmarket. NORTH BEACHES ART WALK Galleries of Atlantic and Neptune beaches, open 5-9 p.m. every third Thur.; Sailfish Drive to Town Center, 753-9594, nbaw.org.

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MUSEUMS

BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY PARK 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657, beachesmuseum.org. Lights Up: 50 Years of Players by the Sea is on display. CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummermuseum.org. Family-friendly event celebrates Shakespeare through song and performance, with Rockwell Kent: The Shakespeare Portfolio exhibit, 11 a.m.-3 p.m. April 23. Conservation, Beautification, & a City Plan: Ninah Cummer & the Establishment of Jacksonville Parks through Nov. 27. Julien De Casablanca: The Outings Project, through May 1. Rockwell Kent: The Shakespeare Portfolio through May 15. David Hayes: The Sentinel Series, sculptures of geometrically abstract, organic forms, through Oct. 2. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911, mocajacksonville.unf.edu. Amer Kobaslija: A Sense of Place runs through Aug. 14; opening reception 6-8 p.m. April 21. Project Atrium: Shinique Smith, Quickening, a fabric-based installation with elements of graffiti, Japanese calligraphy, and collage, through June 26. In Living Color: Andy Warhol & Contemporary Printmaking and Time Zones: James Rosenquist & Printmaking at the Millennium through May 15. RITZ THEATRE & MUSEUM 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 8072010, ritzjacksonville.com. Through Our Eyes 2016: Sensory Perception, by 18 African-American artists, through Aug. 14.

GALLERIES

ADELE GRAGE CULTURAL CENTER 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-5828, coab.us. Works by Bunny Morgan and Tom Huber are on display through April 29. THE ART CENTER Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 139, 233-9252, tacjacksonville.org. Primal Archetypes displays through May 23. Sandy Harrington is the featured artist for April. BREW FIVE POINTS 1024 Park St., Riverside, 374-5789, brewfivepoints.com. Madeleine Peck Wagner’s Bear Baiting, a commentary on the state of Florida’s bear hunt, is on display. CoRK ARTS DISTRICT 2689 Rosselle St., Riverside, corkartsdistrict.com. I’m Board 6 displays at East Gallery. Works by the UNF Paint Guild displays in the West Gallery. CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530, flagler.edu/news-events/crisp-ellert-art-museum. Sunday, paintings by Kristan Kennedy, through April 16. THE CULTURAL CENTER AT PONTE VEDRA BEACH 50 Executive Way, 280-0614, ccpvb.org. Painter Sharon Booma’s Collection of Impulses runs through May 27. CYPRESS VILLAGE 4600 Middleton Park Cir. E., Southside, 677-5112, brookdale.com. Jacksonville Coalition for Visual Arts runs through May 11. FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928, firststreetgalleryart.com. Works by printmaker John Davis display through May 24. J. JOHNSON GALLERY 177 Fourth Ave. N., Jax Beach, 4353200, jjohnsongallery.com. Carlos Betancourt’s recent works display through May 19; this is the final exhibit by the gallery. KARPELES MANUSCRIPT LIBRARY MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992, rain.org. Evita, letters and journals of Eva Perón, displays through May 1. Susan Schuenke’s Bold and Beautiful displays through April 30. MONYA ROWE GALLERY 4 Rohde Ave., St. Augustine, 217-0637, monyarowegallery.com. Find Your Way, by Gianna Commito, Matthew F. Fisher and Jim Gaylord, is on display through May 1. SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY Bank of America Tower, 50 N. Laura St., Lobby Ste. 150, 438-4358, southlightgallery.com. Co-op gallery is a collaborative showcase of works by 20 local artists. SPLIFF’S GASTROPUB 15 Ocean St., Downtown, 844-5000. Jessica Becker’s 3D paintings are on display.

EVENTS

JACKSONVILLE SUNS The boys finish a homestand against the Mobile BayBears, 11:05 a.m. April 20 (Education Day) and 7:05 April 21 (Mavericks Live Thirsty Thursday, Go Greek Night) at Baseball Grounds, Downtown. The next homestand, against the Mississippi Braves, starts April 28. Frankly, we’re waiting for the Shuckers and the Biscuits! Now that’s baseball! Single game tickets $5-$18. 358-2846, jaxsuns.com. GARDEN CLUB FLOWER SHOW Locally inspired “A River Runs Through It” flower show is held 2-5 p.m. April 20, 1005 Riverside Ave., 355-4224, gardenclubofjacksonville.org. FOLIO 420 FEST Good vibes, primo tunes: The Cosmic Groove, $2 Cheech, Observatory, I Came From Earth, Robbie Dammit & the Broken Strings, 8 p.m. April 20, Shanghai Nobby’s, 10 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 825-4959, folioweekly.com. CUMMER AMELIA GARDEN WALK The second annual Cummer Amelia Garden Walk, including a tour of four private homes and gardens, a solar-powered photography studio tour, demonstrating artists, professional architecture, creative wire sculpture display, light refreshments, and vintage Ford automobiles and memorabilia, is held 12:30-4 p.m. April 21, Omni Amelia Island Plantation Resort, 39 Beach Lagoon Rd., Fernandina Beach, $20; $15 members, 899-6034, cummermuseum.org. _______________________________________________ To list your event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price and contact number to print to Daniel A. Brown, email dbrown@folioweekly.com or by mail, 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Events run on a space-available basis. Deadline noon Wed. for next Wednesday’s publication.


FOLIO A+E : ARTS

NO BETTER

TIME

Players by the Sea’s new production spotlights the 1964 CIVIL RIGHTS Act and how far we’ve come (and have to go)

T

he team that selected Players by the Sea’s current season could not have planned for the contemporary tone of American politics when they collectively selected Robert Schenkkan’s All the Way back in early 2015. Yet, the America that will see the production, which runs April 21 through May 7 on the theater group’s main stage, still bears a disheartening similarity to the volatile nation Rights Act of 1964 and getting re-elected all depicted in the play. within the span of a few months, making for Set in the months following President John the period covered during the performance F. Kennedy’s assassination on Nov. 22, 1963, of All the Way a maddening frenzy of epochal All the Way focuses on the-suddenly president events occurring at breakneck speed. Lyndon B. Johnson and his struggle to pass the “Ratliff has taken the dialogue of Robert landmark Civil Rights Act of 1964. The role of Schenkkan’s play and made it his own, taking LBJ is played by longtime local theater stalwart us on a rollercoaster ride of emotions. He has Bill Ratliff. “I think the show will offer the to handle LBJ’s tirades, political hijinks to get viewers insight into today’s America,” Ratliff his way, and his relationship with the people tells Folio Weekly Magazine. “And the fact that, who surround him,” says Rahner. however far we think we’ve come, not much Yet the veracity does not end there. has changed in half a century.” Playwright Robert Schenkkan took much Prodigious still is the fact that this year of the dialogue from transcripts and audio marks the 50th anniversary of Players by the recordings. “While still having to dramatize Sea (PBTS) and, according the story, very few liberties to the company’s associate were taken in constructing ALL THE WAY director, Bradley Akers, All the characters and scenes,” Folio Weekly Magazine Preview Night 7:30 p.m. (premiere reception 6:30 p.m.) the Way is a perfect play says Akers. April 21, Players by the Sea, to sum up the continued As with previous Jax Beach, 249-0289, $23; $20 seniors, mission of the long-standing productions, PBTS students, military; includes hot hors d’oeuvres, beer/wine afterparty, and influential local theater. wasn’t afraid to take an playersbythesea.org, folioweekly.com. “We always strive to unflinching look at visceral All the Way runs through May 7. present work that will subject matter, in this have an impact on the case stirring the current community,” says Akers. “After seeing All the cauldron of race relations in America. Ratliff Way, I want the audience to be moved, think, believes that this was not an incidental but stand up, and act.” The play, which debuted in rather primary decision for all involved. 2012, won both the Drama League Award and “Very often the role of theater is to do just the Tony Award in 2014. that — not to do physical violence, obviously, Director Jean Rahner believes that, while but intellectually; to cause the viewer to look the story takes place a half-century ago, the inside themselves.” themes remain prescient. “Names and faces in Rahner agrees, hoping that this production politics may have changed over the years, and not only gives the audience a chance to review the money involved has increased tenfold, but what had happened, but to “consider what the issues, problems, and struggles for the top really has been accomplished today.” job remain the same.” The best theater affects its audience directly, Ratliff and his transformation into LBJ, along in real time, the immediate relay from stage with his costars’ immersion into their roles, was to spectator. It can provoke, educate, comfort, facilitated by the work that Ratliff and the rest inspire, and even offend. While All the Way deals of the cast did in preparation. “Research and in the blunt realities of historical and recent ideas archival history of the time is essential when of identity, equality, justice and freedom, Akers feels that Players by the Sea is the ideal venue to recreating historic events,” explains Rahner. “Bill launch such a charged production. and all of the cast members have done their jobs.” “We’re not afraid to be bold and LBJ was known to be a larger-than-life courageous. That is what sets us apart.” character. Stories of the Texan’s strong-arm techniques and political maneuverings Josué Cruz abound. He succeeded in passing the Civil mail@folioweekly.com APRIL 20-26, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 29


FOLIO A+E : MAGIC LANTERNS

GODDESS OF THE

GOLDEN AGE

Rita Hayworth embodied the grace, artistry, and possibility of EARLY HOLLYWOOD

T

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rite as it may sound, she really was a Hollywood legend in her own time which — by Tinseltown standards, if you’re a woman — usually is a too-brief period. For that short while, though, Rita Hayworth set the place on fire. Just released in a stunning Blu-ray edition by Criterion Collection, Gilda (1946) — probably her single best film — brilliantly highlights what all the fuss was about. Christened Margarita Carmen Cansino by her parents in 1918, she was already dancing professionally by age 12, and was spotted by a movie producer four years later, making her screen debut in 1935 under her birth name. Over the next three years, she appeared in 26 films (in less-thanmemorable roles) before attracting major notice in a supporting part opposite Cary Grant in Only Angels Have Wings. Dubbed “The Great American Love Goddess” by Time magazine in 1941, over the next few years, she appeared in several important pictures and she danced — costarring with Fred Astaire in two movies and with Gene Kelley in one. By then, Rita Cansino was known worldwide as Rita Hayworth. It was Gilda, however, that made her an icon. In many ways little more than another masterful exercise in “film noir” with a touch of Casablanca in the brew, the movie transcends formula primarily due to the presence of Hayworth, who turns the notion of femme fatale on its head. She’s plenty seductive, all right, and she seems to be a very dangerous woman, but in the end she’s a real sweetheart. Directed by prolific but erratic Charles Vidor, the plot concerns hustler Johnny Farrell (Glenn Ford, in the first of five films he made with Hayworth) who is unexpectedly a close friend and business associate of Ballin Munson (George Macready from Kubrick’s Paths of Glory), a shady casino operator in Argentina. Things begin to go awry when Munson’s new wife, the sexy Gilda (Hayworth), turns out to have previously been in a tortured but passionate relationship with Johnny. In addition to the tried-but-true cliché of the eternal triangle, the plot involves some ex-Nazis and assorted skullduggery of the usual sort. The film’s two highpoints, however, feature Rita Hayworth front-and-center. When

her husband first introduces his new wife to Johnny, asking whether she’s decent as he opens the door to her dressing room, we see Gilda for the first time, flipping back her gorgeous hair and smiling as she says, “Me?” Wow! The second famous scene comes near the end of the film when Hayworth, wearing a slinky black strapless dress, starts stripping to the tune of “Put the Blame on Mame.” Though all she takes off are her two long black gloves, the scene was absolutely sensational and really defined Rita Hayworth, for better and for worse, for the rest of her life. As she once said about her mostly unhappy love life, “Men go to bed with Gilda but wake up with me.” The new release from Criterion includes some particularly interesting supplements, including one overview by Eddie Muller, author of Dark City: The Lost World of Film Noir, focusing on the film’s subversive sexual themes, and a gushing appraisal by director Baz Luhrmann (Moulin Rouge, The Great Gatsby) who details the fi lm’s many intricate technical achievements, including Hayworth’s hair, the kinds of things most viewers wouldn’t even notice but that underlie the film’s real artistry. Hayworth’s follow-up to Gilda, shot over the following year but not released until 1948 due to all kinds of studio bickering and interference, was The Lady from Shanghai, directed by her estranged husband Orson Welles. (The two were divorced before the film was released.) On its initial appearance, filmgoers (and producer Harry Cohn) were more upset about Hayworth’s hair (her long red tresses cut short and dyed blonde at the insistence of Welles) than anything else. The movie itself was mostly dismissed as yet another failure by the idiosyncratic director. Whatever else one might say about hindsight, more than occasionally it’s right. Now we are better able to appraise The Lady from Shanghai for the masterful original it truly was and appreciate Rita Hayworth for her talent as well as her beauty. Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com _______________________________________

The Lady from Shanghai is featured June 9 and 12 as part of Sun-Ray Cinema’s ongoing “101 Years of Orson Welles” series. Don’t miss Rita Hayworth on the big screen.


FILM LISTINGS FILM RATINGS MAX ERNST MAX ROACH MAX SCHRECK MAX HEADROOM

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AREA SCREENINGS

SUN-RAY CINEMA Deadpool and Midnight Special screen. 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. 101 Years of Orson Welles – Journey Into Fear screens April 21 and 24. Every Wants Some! starts April 22. THE CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ Louder Than Bombs and Zero Motivation screen at 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com. The Good Shepherd runs noon April 21. IMAX THEATER The Jungle Book, Rocky Mountain Express and National Parks Adventure screen, World Golf Village Hall of Fame Theater, St. Johns, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com.

grandson – costars Tom Hiddleston as Hank, plus Elizabeth Olsen, Bradley Whitford and Jeff Pope. THE JUNGLE BOOK Rated PG Costars the vocal talents of Ben Kingsley (Bagheera), Idris Elba (Shere Khan), Lupita Nyong’o (Raksha), Scarlet Johansson (Kaa), Christopher “More Cowbell!” Walken (King Louie), the late Garry Shandling, the now-tiresome Bill Murray (Baloo) and Neel Sethi as the boy himself, Mowgli.

MIRACLES FROM HEAVEN Rated PG It’s the ideal moment to put out a weepy melodrama starring Jennifer Garner, since we’re on her side against that two-timing … sorry; I got carried away by the tragedy of yet another Honey, I Shtupped the Nanny incident. Anyway, this is based on a true story about a little girl with a rare illness being cured after she falls out of a tree. Costars Kylie Rogers, Martin Henderson, Queen Latifah and Courtney Fansler.

KILL YOUR FRIENDS Not Rated The legitimacy of Brit pop has been argued ad nauseum. Music industry A&R man Steven Stelfox (Nicholas Hoult – that kid from About a Boy who grew up quite nicely, thenkyew) feels obligated to market what sells, not what’s good. This apparently causes him to go off a bit, depravity increasing with each inside betrayal. Costars Georgia King, James Corden, Georgia King and Rosanna Hoult (Nick’s sister).

MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING 2 ***@ Rated PG-13 Toula (Nia Vardalos) is still happily married to Ian (John Corbett), but their 17-year-old daughter Paris (Elena Kampouris) is tired of Grandpa Gus (Michael Constantine) telling her she needs a nice Greek boyfriend. Toula helps run her family’s restaurant, and is trying to get her father to propose to her mother (Lainie Kazan) after they find their marriage certificate was never signed. Toula’s real problem, though, is that she’s neglecting Ian. — Dan Hudak

MILES AHEAD Rated R The talented Don Cheadle wrote, directed and stars in this dynamic biopic of jazz great Miles Davis. Costars Ewan McGregor, Michael Stuhlbarg and Emayatzy Corinealdi.

RACE Rated PG-13 The struggle of the greatest track and field athlete is told in this historical drama about the peerless Jesse Owens (Stephan James), whose feats in the sport catapulted him to the 1936 Olympics in Berlin,

Germany. Adolf Hitler ruled – and hated all non-Aryans. Jesse showed how a black man could not only compete against anyone,but beat them decisively, with grace and poise. Costars Jason Sudeikis, Jeremy Irons, William Hurt, David Kross, Carice van Houten. THE YOUNG MESSIAH Rated PG-13 Everybody started out as a kid – Bernie Sanders, Chris Rock, Mother Teresa, Dick Cheney (well, maybe not Cheney) – and Jesus Christ (Adam Greaves-Neal) was no different. His mother Mary (Sara Lazzaro) and father Joseph (Vincent Walsh) fled to Egypt to keep their son from King Herod. Herod dies, so they go home to Nazareth. On the way, he’s told about his place on Earth. ZOOTOPIA ***G Rated PG The animated movie has furry characters, humor and warmth. Judy Hopps (voiced by Ginnifer Goodwin) is an ambitious bunny who wants to be a big city cop in Zootopia. Her parents (Bonnie Hunt, Don Lake) want her be a carrot farmer. Police Chief Bogo (Idris Elba) gives her parking ticket duty – but 14 mammals are missing and nobody’s investigating. Costars Jason Bateman, Nate Torrence, Tommy Chong, J.K. Simmons, Octavia Spencer, Shakira. — DH

NOW SHOWING

BARBERSHOP: THE NEXT CUT Rated PG-13 Costars Ice Cube, Regina Hall, Anthony Anderson, J.B. Smoove, Common, Sean Patrick Thomas and Cedric T.E. BATMAN VERSUS SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE Rated PG-13 Ben Affleck plays Batman, Henry Cavill is Superman, Amy Adams is Lois Lane, Jesse Eisenberg plays Lex Luthor and, in a nice twist, Laurence Fishburne is editor Perry White. Costars Diane Lane, Jeremy Irons, Holly Hunter, Charlie Rose as Charlie Rose, and Neil deGrasse Tyson as … Neil deGrasse Tyson. Genius casting! THE BOSS Rated R This is about an industry tycooness (?) who commits a federal crime, goes to prison, gets out and rebrands her image. Costars Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Bell, Peter I’m-better-than-this Dinklage, Kathy Bates, Cecily Strong. THE BRONZE Rated R Melissa Rauch (Big Bang Theory) plays Hope – an ex-Olympic medalist of a lower class of athlete than America usually enshrines. She’s more like Tonya Harding – and looks like ONJ as Sandy – and now she must train young Maggie (Haley Lu Richardson), a future gymnastics superstar. Costars Gary Cole, Thomas Middleditch, Cecily Strong, Craig Kilborn, Olga Korbut (!) and Dominique Moceanu. DEMOLITION Rated R Jake Gyllenhaal plays Davis, a grieving widower who’s becoming more unhinged each day. Costars Naomi Watts, Chris Cooper and Judah Lewis. ELVIS & NIXON Rated R Opens April 22. This is a true story. Elvis Presley wanted to discuss national security or something with President Richard Milhous Nixon. So he just showed up at the White House in December 1970. And got in, and got a meeting with ol’ Tricky Dick himself. At the time, we didn’t think much of it as I recall, because there was this pesky Vietnam thing going on and we were smoking weed so the war would end … oh, that wasn’t what stopped the war? My bad. Costars Michael Shannon, Alex Pettyfer, Johnny Knoxville, Colin Hanks, Tate Donovan (Halderman) and Kevin Spacey as Nixon. Far out, man. EVERYBODY WANTS SOME!! ***@ Rated R Reviewed in this issue. EYE IN THE SKY Rated R Versatile Helen Mirren plays Col. Katherine Powell, head of a military drone project. As we all know, drones aren’t really controlled by humans, and this particular one homes in on an innocent target. Costars the late Alan Rickman, Aaron Paul and a woman whose name is Kate Liquorish, a fact we thought was worth mentioning. GOD’S NOT DEAD 2 Rated PG A high school teacher gets in trouble for discussing Jesus in class. Costars Jesse Metcalfe, Melissa Joan Hart, Robin Givens, Ernie Who-yagonna-call? Hudson, David A.R. White and Pat Boone. HIGH STRUNG Rated PG A hip hop violinist busking in the big city meets a beautiful young woman training as a classical dancer, and you just know the spectres of Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan Tatum lurk nearby. Costars Keenan Kampa, Nicholas Galitzine and Jane Seymour. (You had us at hip hop violinist.) A HOLOGRAM FOR THE KING Rated R Opens April 22. Tom Hanks plays Alan Clay, who has an idea he can’t sell in America, so he goes to Saudi Arabia to see if anyone over there will finance his creation. Costars Ben Whishaw, Tom Skerritt and Jane Perry. THE HUNTSMAN: WINTER’S WAR Rated PG-13 Opens April 22. Action/fantasy/drama costars Chris Hemsworth, Jessica Chastain, Charlize Theron, Emily Blunt; Liam Neeson narrates. I SAW THE LIGHT Rated R What looks to be a decent effort to tell the story of country & Western god Hank Williams – so unlike his son and so much more like his

APRIL 20-26, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 31


FOLIO A+E : MUSIC Local “GARBAGE ROCKERS” The Mold talk new growth

THE

FUNGUS

AMONG US

W

32 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 20-26, 2016

it. What was the recording process like? hen it comes to musical groups with We just hung out and played. The mixing took apt names, Northeast Florida has longer than the recording, really. We recorded assembled quite a roster. We’ve got on a four-track, or maybe it was an eight-track Tomboi — the electronic three-piece that recorder. I don’t really remember what the tackles a whole host of progressive issues, brand was. We recorded to tape. We prefer including gender neutrality; Afro-Cuban analog. It’s got a warmer feel to it. nonet LPT (Latin People Time) fills its ranks with players who all claim Latin-American Tell me about your approach to heritage; and Scandinavian indie rockers songwriting. You have some dark song Fjord Explorer write tunes based solely on titles, yet the songs have an energy the works of the late Stieg Larsson (OK, I that approaches upbeat. The song “Sex made that last one up). Headache,” for example, is pretty upbeat. But go ahead and add self-described “SickI don’t know that I would say “upbeat,” but psycho-trash-synth-garbage-rockers” The Mold I guess so. I kind of just write whatever I’m to that stacked lineup of aptronyms. Spawning feeling at the time. But when we write a from the bass of Jason Jewell, the drums of song, we write it instrumentally first. Then Ryan Johnson, and the trash-synth of vocalist I’ll sit with it and write some lyrics as they Lamar Carden, The Mold’s 2013 debut The come out. The stuff we’ve been doing since Mold Demo is packed full of heavy, irreverent, the demo is a little bit different, a little fungal rock. After a delightfully analog riff on darker. But the instrument I use gives it that the opening track, “Brain Vomit,” the drums unique sound. and bass, as well as Carden’s reedy, lo-fi vocals ooze in simultaneously, and The Mold rarely Let’s talk about that instrument. You call it relent through five tracks — with equally “organ snot” on the band’s Facebook page. It’s enchanting titles like “Dracula Sandwich” and got a unique synthesizeresque sound. What is “Black Pope” — that sound something akin to a it and how’d you get into playing it? Sherpa charging, kamikaze-style, into a garden It’s called a Wurlitzer Music Learning of meditating monks. Module. An old roommate had it. It wasn’t On April 21, The Mold shares a bill with even his, actually. He was borrowing it. It’s NYC’s Foster Care, Savannah, Georgia’s Cray just a little electric learning piano for younger Bags, and Orlando’s Tight Genes at Rain Dogs people. I used to play with it all in Riverside. the time, when my roommate Folio Weekly Magazine THE MOLD, FOSTER CARE, had it. One day it disappeared talked with Carden about CRAY BAGS, TIGHT GENES from the house. I asked about the band’s upcoming 9 p.m. April 21, Rain Dogs, Riverside, $8 it; turned out the guy who show, a planned followowned it didn’t really care up to The Mold Demo, and the unique sounds of about it. I ended up buying it “organ snot.” from him for 80 bucks. I kind of fell in love with it. Folio Weekly Magazine: Tell me how you came together. What musical influences did Have you been writing new music? Will you you share? be recording soon? Lamar Carden: I was in a separate band with We went on tour most recently in November. Ryan [Johnson] and a different band with We had a blast. We went to different cities in Jason [Jewell], but we got together for this Georgia, North Carolina, Tennessee, Virginia, Alabama, Virginia, and, of course, Florida. band about five years ago. It’s hard to pin Right now we’re working on writing more down music that we all really like because it’s material to record. Then we’re going to take so broad, but I’d say Devo and The Screamers, those recordings and shop them around to for sure. And lots of ’70s punk. different labels to see if anyone wants to put them out on vinyl. We typically play pretty What is it about that era of punk that you like? short songs, but we’re working on — not on It created a sound, but it wasn’t really a purpose, but just the way it comes out — some specific sound for every band — not like longer songs with more parts to them. There’s today. I don’t really know how to answer. more instrumentation going on. I’d say most of That’s a good question. the new stuff is heavier. Matthew B. Shaw Thanks. How about the demo [The Mold mail@folioweekly.com Demo]? It’s got a really nice analog sound to


Portland, Oregon punkers MEAN JEANS (pictured) play with WET NURSE, PARTY FLAG, and MENTAL BOY April 24 at Shanghai Nobby’s, St. Augustine.

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK

SPADE McQUADE 6 p.m. April 20, Fionn MacCool’s Irish Pub, Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247. BRIDGING the MUSIC 6 p.m. April 20, 1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St., Downtown, $11.75. DANKA, REGGAE SWAT TEAM 7 p.m. April 20, Harmonious Monks, 320 First St. N., Jax Beach, 372-0815. Generation Axe: STEVE VAI, ZAKK WYLDE, YNGWIE MALM STEEN, NUNO BETTENCOURT, TOSIN ABASI 8 p.m. April 20, Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 3552787, $39-$65. Folio 420 Fest: COSMIC GROOVE, $2 CHEECH, I CAME FROM EARTH, OBSERVATORY, ROBBIE DAMMIT & the BROKEN STRINGS 8 p.m. April 20, Shanghai Nobby’s, 10 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 547-2188. BROTHER HAWK 9:30 p.m. April 20, Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown. DENNY BLUE 6 p.m. April 21, Surfer Joe’s Pub & Grill, 6101 S. A1A, St. Augustine, 429-9906. IRATION, HIRIE, The EXPANDERS 6 p.m. April 21, Mavericks Live, 2 Independent Dr., The Landing, 356-1110, $25-$100. SKINDRED, TRAPT 6:30 p.m. April 21, Harmonious Monks, $15-$30. CHRIS DUARTE GROUP 7:30 p.m. April 21, Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., San Marco, 352-7008, $10. The WERKS, PARTICLE, CBDB 8 p.m. April 21, 1904 Music Hall, $12 advance; $15 day of. A NIGHT with JANIS JOPLIN 8 p.m. April 21, The Florida Theatre, $35-$65. The MOLD, FOSTER CARE, CRAY BAGS, TIGHT GENES 9 p.m. April 21, Rain Dogs, 1045 Park St., Riverside, 379-4969, $8. LOVE CHUNK 9 p.m. April 21, Planet Sarbez, 115 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 342-0632. 3 the BAND 9 p.m. April 21, Flying Iguana, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680. TINSLEY ELLIS 9 p.m. April 21, Mojo Kitchen, 1500 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 247-6636, $15. UNCLE MARDI GRAS! 6 p.m. April 22, Planet Sarbez. The CONTORTIONIST, MONUMENTS, ENTHEOS, SLEEP MAKES WAVES 6:30 p.m. April 22, 1904 Music Hall, $14. The BLACK DAHLIA MURDER, FALLUJAH, DISENTOMB, BLACK STACHE 7 p.m. April 22, Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $20. GRANT PEEPLES 7:30 p.m. April 22, Mudville Music Room, $10. Legends of Southern Hip Hop: MYSTIKAL, JUVENILE, TRICK DADDY, BUN B, PROJECT PAT, TOO SHORT 8 p.m. April 22, Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., Downtown, 630-3900, $57-$99. 2 QUART SHYNE 8 p.m. April 22, Knuckleheads Tavern, 850532 U.S. 17, Yulee, 251-2449. BEN FOLDS, Y MUSIC, DOTHAN 8 p.m. April 22, The Florida Theatre, $39.50-$59.50. RASCAL FLATTS, JANA KRAMER 8 p.m. April 22, St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., 209-0367, $59.50-$135. IVEY WEST BAND 9 p.m. April 22 & 23, The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 264-0611. CONRAD OBERG 9:30 p.m. April 22, Mojo Kitchen, 1500 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 247-6636. DIRTY PETE 9:30 p.m. April 22, Whiskey Jax, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Southside, 634-7208.

BRITE SIDE 10 p.m. April 22 & 23, Flying Iguana.

Riverside Arts Market: AL POINDEXTER, CANARY in the

COALMINE, MARY-LOU 10:30 a.m. April 23, 715 Riverside, 389-2449. NOFX, DIRECT HIT, MEAN JEANS 6 p.m. April 23, Mavericks Live, $25. Gamble Rogers Tribute: LARRY MANGUM, JIM CARRICK, BOB PATTERSON, CHARLEY SIMMONS 7:30 p.m. April 23, Mudville Music Room, $10. The JOY FORMIDABLE, The HELIO SEQUENCE 8 p.m. April 23, Jack Rabbits, $17. SHEA BIRNEY, GHOST TROPIC, TELEPATHIC LINES, KENNY & the JETS, The THROWS 8 p.m. April 23, Shanghai Nobby’s. DAVIS TURNER 8 p.m. April 23, Slider’s Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., Fernandina, 277-6652. HERD of WATTS 9 p.m. April 23, 1904 Music Hall, $10. BREAK EVEN BAND 9:30 p.m. April 23, Whiskey Jax. MEAN JEANS, WET NURSE, PARTY FLAG, MENTAL BOY 5 p.m. April 24, Shanghai Nobby’s, $10. JESSE CRUCE & SPARTINA BAND 6 p.m. April 24, Limelight Theatre, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, 825-1164, $5. Duval SpringFest 2016: KING RON 7 p.m. April 24, 1904 Music Hall, $10. CHRIS ISAAK, KATIE GRACE HELOW 7:30 p.m. April 24, The Florida Theatre, $35-$65. RYAN CRARY 8:30 p.m. April 24, Flying Iguana. HURRAY for the RIFF RAFF, PROMISED LAND SUPPORT 8 p.m. April 23, Jack Rabbits, $15. Suwannee River Jam: LYNYRD SKYNYRD, BIG & RICH, CHASE RICE, CLAY WALKER, BIG SMO April 27-30, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park, 9379 C.R. 132, Live Oak, $45-$400 (VIP), musicliveshere.com. TANNAHILL WEAVERS 7 p.m. April 26, Culhane’s Irish Pub, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595, $20. The band plays 7:30 p.m. April 27, Mudville Music Room, $16. SEBASTIAN BACH 7 p.m. April 27, Mavericks Live, Downtown, $25 (all ages). The MANTRAS, AARON LeBOD REALITY 8 p.m. April 27, 1904 Music Hall, $10 advance; $12 day of. CLOUD9 VIBES 8 p.m. April 27, Burro Bar.

UPCOMING CONCERTS TOMMY EMMANUEL, The LOWHILLS April 28 & 29, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall OBN IIIs, BROWN PALACE, The MOLD April 29, Shanghai Nobby’s JJ GREY & MOFRO April 29, Mavericks Live ANJELAH JOHNSON, BON QUI QUI, GROUP 1 CREW April 30, The Florida Theatre ALABAMA SHAKES, DYLAN LeBLANC April 30, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Welcome to Rockville: ROB ZOMBIE, ZZ TOP, FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH, A DAY to REMEMBER, MEGADETH, LAMB of GOD, CYPRESS HILL, SEVENDUST, ANTHRAX, CLUTCH, YELAWOLF, P.O.D., WE CAME as ROMANS, MEMPHIS MAY FIRE, ISSUES, CROWN the EMPIRE, BEAR TOOTH, TEXAS HIPPIE COALITION, AVATAR, From ASHES to NEW, GLORIOUS SONS, WILD THRONE, DISTURBED, SHINEDOWN, 3 DOORS DOWN,

BRING ME the HORIZON, SIXX:A.M., COLLECTIVE SOUL, PENNYWISE, BULLET for my VALENTINE, HELLYEAH, ASKING ALEXANDRIA, CANDLEBOX, ESCAPE the FATE, PARKWAY DRIVE, ENTER SHIKARI, MISS MAY I, WILSON, RED SUN RISING, LACEY STURM, MONSTER TRUCK, CANE HILL April 30 & May 1, Metropolitan Park GIPSY KINGS, NICOLAS REYES, TONINO BALIARDO May 1, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DAVID NAIL May 5, Mavericks Live LA LUZ, MASSENGER, The GUN HOES May 5, Burro Bar Funk Fest: LL COOL J, NEW EDITION, MASTER P, FLOETRY, DRU HILL, JON B. May 6 & 7, Metropolitan Park JBOOG, COMMON KINGS May 6, Mavericks Live PHIL VASSAR, RUSSELL DICKERSON May 7, ThrasherHorne Center KALIMBA (Earth, Wind & Fire tribute) May 7, Mavericks Live BILL BURR May 8, T-U Center The 1975, JAPANESE HOUSE May 10, St. Augustine Amphitheatre The FRONT BOTTOMS, BRICK + MORTAR, DIET CIG May 11, Mavericks Live DELLACOMA May 13, Harmonious Monks Jax Beach ELLIS PAUL May 13, The Original Café Eleven TRAMPLED by TURTLES May 13, Mavericks Live MICHAEL CARBONARO May 13, Times-Union Center RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE May 14, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall STYX, .38 SPECIAL, The OUTLAWS May 14, St. Augustine Amphitheatre AMY SCHUMER May 15, Veterans Memorial Arena OTEP FEST 2016 May 15, Harmonious Monks DEFTONES, CODE ORANGE May 17, St. Augustine Amphitheatre SHAKEY GRAVES, SON LITTLE May 17, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall NIGHT RANGER May 19, The Florida Theatre KING & the KILLER May 20, Mavericks Live FOALS May 20, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SALT-N-PEPA, KID ’N PLAY, ROB BASE, COOLIO, TONE LOC, COLOR ME BADD May 21, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DICK DALE May 22, Jack Rabbits BUCKETHEAD May 25, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MODERN ENGLISH May 26, Burro Bar R. KELLY May 26, Veterans Memorial Arena Jacksonville Jazz Festival: KEM, JOHN BATISTE & STAY HUMAN, SNARKY PUPPY, The McCOY TYNER QUARTET, DR. JOHN, GENERATION NEXT, NICHOLAS COLE, LIN ROUNTREE & LEBRON, The YELLOWJACKETS, DIZZY GILLESPIE AFRO-CUBAN EXPERIENCE, NATHAN EAST, CYRILLE AIMEE, SOMI, CHRISTIAN SCOTT ATUNDE ADJUAH, JAMISON ROSS, KEN FORD, LIZZ WRIGHT, MARK PENDER, DOUGLAS ANDERSON JAZZ BAND, UNF JAZZ ENSEMBLE I, The CHRIS THOMAS BAND, TERRY “DOC” HANDY, JOHN LUMPKIN & the COVENANT, GARY STARLING GROUP, RUSSEL GEORGE, ERIC CARTER & CO., NOEL FREIDLINE QUINTET, LISA KELLY May 26-29, Downtown Jacksonville HERE COME the MUMMIES, NOAH GUTHRIE May 26, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall Follow the Sun Fest: SUPERSUCKERS, DRAG the RIVER, SHIP THIEVES, WHISKEY & CO., HAVE GUN WILL TRAVEL, ONES to BLAME, ANN PRAGG, SINNERS & SAINTS,

APRIL 20-26, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 33


LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC Alt-folkie fave GRANT PEEPLES performs April 22 at Mudville Music Room, St. Nicholas.

CARA BETH SATALINO, OUTER SPACES, WAX WINGS, CHASE NEIL & the WISEBLOODS, HARDLUCK SOCIETY, JONATHAN COODY, ROB COE & CO., RIVERNECKS, THIN SKINS, ENDLESS POOLS, ANCHOR FAST, DEVON STUART, KENNY & the JETS, SAND FLEAS May 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Backyard Block Party APPETITE for DESTRUCTION, MEDAL MILITIA June 3, Mavericks Live SHIRLEY CAESAR, KIERRA SHEARD, JEKALYN CARR June 3, Florida Theatre ALEJANDRO ESCOVEDO June 5, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall REFUSED June 7, Mavericks Live WEIRD AL”YANKOVIC June 11, St. Augustine Amphitheatre CYNDI LAUPER June 12, St. Augustine Amphitheatre

MIRANDA LAMBERT, KIP MOORE, BROTHERS OSBORNE June 12, Veterans Memorial Arena DEATH CAB for CUTIE, CHVRCHES, PURE BATHING CULTURE June 14, St. Augustine Amphitheatre LORD HURON June 14, Mavericks Live CHRIS CORNELL June 17, Florida Theatre ZOSO Ultimate Led Zeppelin Experience June 23, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall REBELUTION, The GREEN & J BOOG, STICK FIGURE, THROUGH the GREEN June 23, St. Augustine Amphitheatre RICHIE RAMONE June 25, Burro Bar JUSTIN BIEBER June 29, Veterans Memorial Arena SUBLIME with ROME, TRIBAL SEEDS July 1, St. Augustine Amphitheatre BARENAKED LADIES, ORCHESTRAL MANOEUVRES in the DARK, HOWARD JONES July 2, St. Augustine Amphitheatre TWENTY ONE PILOTS July 3, St. Augustine Amphitheatre FLAG, WAR on WOMEN, The DIRTY NIL July 8, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JASON MICHAEL CARROLL, MARK WILLS, DARYL WORLEY July 14, Mavericks Live SHAWN MENDES July 16, St. Augustine Amphitheatre FLIGHT of the CONCHORDS July 17, St. Augustine Amphitheatre 5 SECONDS of SUMMER July 20, Veterans Memorial Arena TED NUGENT July 20, Florida Theatre VILLAINFEST 2016 July 22, Mavericks Live 311, MATISYAHU July 26, St. Augustine Amphitheatre CRAIG MORGAN July 28, The Florida Theatre BRING IT! LIVE July 29, The Florida Theatre LUKE COMBS July 29, Mavericks Live EMMA MOSELEY BAND, KRISTOPHER JAMES, The CURT TOWNE BAND July 30, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Backyard Party MAXWELL Aug, 7, T-U Center MISTERWIVES Aug. 7, St. Augustine Amphitheatre SLIGHTLY STOOPID, SOJA, FORTUNATE YOUTH Aug. 11, St. Augustine Amphitheatre

RAY LaMONTAGNE Aug. 14, St. Augustine Amphitheatre GOO GOO DOLLS, COLLECTIVE SOUL, TRIBE SOCIETY Aug. 31, St. Augustine Amphitheatre BRIAN WILSON, AL JARDINE, BLONDIE CHAPLIN Sept. 10, St. Augustine Amphitheatre IL DIVO Sept. 23, The Florida Theatre NEEDTOBREATHE, MAT KEARNY, PARACHUTE, WELSHLY ARMS Oct. 13, St. Augustine Amphitheatre NEIL deGRASSE TYSON Nov. 14, The Florida Theatre SAVION GLOVER Nov. 18, The Florida Theatre ANIMAL COLLECTIVE Nov. 22, Mavericks Live GARRISON KEILLOR Dec. 11, The Florida Theatre JAY LENO Jan. 14, Thrasher-Horne Center

LIVE MUSIC CLUBS AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA

ALLEY CAT Beer House, 316 Centre St., 491-1001 Dan Voll April 20. Live music most weekends LA MANCHA, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646 Miguel Paley jazz show 5:30-9 p.m. every Fri.-Sun. SLIDERS Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652 King Eddie & Pili Pili 5 p.m. April 20. Tad Jennings April 21. Bluff 5, Davis Turner 8 p.m. April 23 SURF Restaurant, 3199 S. Fletcher, 261-5711 Yancy Clegg Tue. & Thur. Black Jack Band Fri. Live music most weekends

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

CASBAH Café, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free 9 p.m. Tue. & Thur. Indie dance 9 p.m. every Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance every Fri.

THE BEACHES (All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted)

BRASS ANCHOR PUB, 2292 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0301 Joe Oliff April 20 The BRIX TAPHOUSE, 300 N. Second St., 241-4668 Savanna Leigh Bassett April 20. Live music most weekends CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 249-9595 Tannahill Weavers 7 p.m. April 26. DJ Hal every Sat. Irish music every Sun. FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic, Neptune Beach, 853-5680 3 the Band April 21. Briteside Band April 22 & 23. Ryan Crary April 24. Live music most weekends GUSTO’S, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925 Groov every Wed. Monica DaSilva Thur. Murray Goff Fri. Under the Bus Sat. HARMONIOUS Monks, 320 First St. N., 372-0815 Danka, Reggae SWAT Team April 20. Skindred, Trapt April 21. Live music Wed.-Sun. LYNCH’S, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Chillula every Sun. Live music Wed.-Sun. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 Third St. N., 241-5600 Five O’Clock Shadow April 21. NW Izzard April 22 MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573 Ginger every Wed. Mike Shackelford, Steve Shanholtzer every Thur. MOJO KITCHEN, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636 Tinsley Ellis April 21. Conrad Oberg 9:30 p.m. April 22 and every Fri. MONKEY’S UNCLE Tavern, 1728 N. Third St., 246-1070 DJ Wed., Sat. & Sun. Live music every Fri. RAGTIME Tavern, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877 Billy Bowers April 20. Decoy April 21. Paul Lundgren Band April 22 & 23. T Martin & the Troublemakers April 24 SLIDERS, 218 First St., NB, 246-0881 Live music Wed.-Sun. ZETA BREWING, 131 First Ave. N., 372-0727 Live music every Thur.-Sun.

DOWNTOWN

1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St. Bridging the Music, Tayface April 20. The Werks, Particle, CBDB April 21. The Contortionist, Monuments, Entheos, Sleepmakeswaves 6:30 p.m. April 22. Herd of Watts April 23. Duval Springfest, King Ron, Boat Simms April 24. The Mantras, Aaron LeBod Reality April 27 BURRO BAR, 100 E. Adams St. Brother Hawk 9:30 p.m. April 20. Cloud9 Vibes April 27. Live music most weekends DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 BlackJack every Wed. DJ Brandon every Thur. DJs spin dance every Fri. DJ NickFresh every Sat. DJ Randall Mon. DJ Hollywood every Tue. FIONN MacCOOL’S, The Landing, 374-1247 Spade McQuade 6 p.m. April 20 & 27. Jimmy Solari 8 p.m. April 22. A Nice Pair 8 p.m. April 29. Cortnie 8 p.m. April 30 JACKSONVILLE Landing, 353-1188 Power 106.1 Duval’s Finest XXL 5-10 p.m. April 22. Spanky 6 p.m. April 23. Welcome to Rockville Pre-Party 6 p.m.-1 a.m. April 29. Boogie Freaks 9 p.m.-2 a.m. April 30 MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Dr. Doom 10 p.m. every Fri. DJ Shotgun 10 p.m. every Sat. MAVERICKS LIVE, Jax Landing, 356-1110 Iration, Hirie, The Expanders 6 p.m. April 21. NOFX, Direct Hit, Mean Jeans April 23. Sebastian Bach April 27. Joe Buck, DJ Justin every Thur.-Sat.

FLEMING ISLAND

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999 Robert Brown Jr. the Confluent 10 p.m. April 21. Live music Fri. & Sat. MR. CHUBBY’S, 11043 Crystal Sprgs. Rd., 355-9464 Chuck Nash 9 p.m. April 22

34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 20-26, 2016


LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC WHITEY’S Fish Camp, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Dixie Highway 9 p.m. April 22. Live music April 23. Small Town Pharmacy April 24

INTRACOASTAL WEST

CLIFF’S Bar, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 Bill Ricci April 15. Live music most weekends JERRY’S Grille, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766 Cloud 9 April 22. Retro Katz April 23. Live music most weekends

MANDARIN, JULINGTON

HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., 880-3040 Live music weekends. Open jam 7 p.m. Mon. IGGY’S, 104 Bartram Oaks, Ste. 101, 209-5209 Live music most weekends

Local swampy blues rockers JESSE CRUCE and SPARTINA BAND perform April 24 at Limelight Theatre, St. Augustine.

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG The HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael every Tue.-Sat. PREVATT’S, 2620 Blanding, 282-1564 Live music weekends THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Ivey West Band 9 p.m. April 22 & 23

PONTE VEDRA

PUSSER’S, 816 A1A, 280-7766 Live music Wed.-Sat. TABLE 1, 330 A1A, 280-5515 Deron Baker April 20. Gary Starling April 21. Dustin Bradley, Johnny Flood April 22. Robbie Litt April 23

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

ACROSS THE STREET, 948 Edgewood Ave. S., 683-4182 Blood Bath & Beyond, River City Kats April 23 MURRAY HILL Theatre, 932 Edgewood S., 388-7807 Rooted Worship April 20. John Ball April 22, Lisa McClendon, Prince William, Bo Deezy, Three Kings April 23 RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969 The Mold, Foster Care, Cray Bags, Tight Genes 9 p.m. April 21 RIVERSIDE Arts Market, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449 Al Poindexter, Canary In The Coalmine, Mary-Lou 10:30 a.m. April 23

ST. AUGUSTINE

The CELLAR Upstairs, 157 King St., 826-1594 Vinny Jacobs April 24 PLANET SARBEZ, 115 Anastasia Blvd., 342-0632 Love Chunk 8 p.m. April 21. Uncle Mardi Gras April 22 SHANGHAI NOBBY’S, 10 Anastasia Blvd., 547-2188 Folio 420 Fest: Cosmic Groove, $2 Cheech, Observatory, I Came From Earth, Robbie Dammit & the Broken Strings 8 p.m. April 20. Shea Birney, Ghost Tropic, Telepathic Lines, Kenny & The Jets, The Throws 8 p.m. April 23. Mean Jeans, Wet Nurse, Party Flag, Mental Boy April 24 SURFER JOE’S, 6101 S. A1A, 429-9906 Denny Blue April 21 TRADEWINDS, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Cottonmouth 9 p.m. April 22 & 23. Live music most weekends

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks, 398-7496 Hurray for the Riff Raff, Promised Land Support 8 p.m. April 23. The Black Dahlia Murder, Fallujah, Disentomb, Black Stache 7 p.m. April 22. The Joy Formidible, The Helio Sequence April 23 MUDVILLE Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Chris Duarte Group April 21. Tannahill Weavers 7:30 p.m. April 27. Grant Peeples April 22. Gamble Rogers Tribute: Larry

Mangum, Jim Carrick, Bob Patterson, Charley Simmons 7:30 p.m. April 23

SOUTHSIDE, BAYMEADOWS

MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999 Charlie Walker April 21. Samuel Sanders April 23. Live music most weekends WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows, 634-7208 Dirty Pete 9:30 p.m. April 22. Break Even April 23. Melissa Smith every Wed. Live music most weekends WORLD OF BEER, 9700 Deer Lake Ct., 551-5929 Anton LaPlume 9 p.m. April 22. Live music most weekends

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

MOLLY BROWNS PUB & GRILL, 2467 Faye Rd., 683-5044 Rusted Diamond April 22. Clinton Lane Darnell & Shayne Rammler April 23. Live music most weekends SHANTYTOWN PUB, 22 W. Sixth St., 798-8222 T.W.A.N. 8______________________________________________ p.m. April 20 To list your band’s gig, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price and contact number to print to Daniel A. Brown, email dbrown@folioweekly.com or by mail, 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Events run on a space-available basis. Deadline noon Wed. for next Wednesday’s publication.

UPENDING EXPECTATIONS Ben Folds FOLLOWS HIS MUSE

from pop to alt-rock to classical music — without compromising his quirky creative vision

TRYING TR YING YI ING TTO O TR TRACK TRAC ACK AC K TH THEE TW TWIS TWISTS ISTS IS TS A AND ND TTURNS URNS URN UR NS OF Ben Folds’ career is maddening. A North Carolina native, Folds first formed Majosha in the late ’80s, reuniting Ben Folds Five for the excellent 2012 releasing an album called Party Night: Five Songs album The Sound of the Life of the Mind. about Jesus that contained four songs, none of But it’s his most recent wrinkle that represents which concerned Jesus. In the early ’90s, he lived Folds’ biggest leap: writing a classical-inspired pop in Nashville off a music publishing and session piano concerto in 2013, performing it with as many musician job before attending the University of symphony orchestras on the planet as he could in Miami on a percussion scholarship (he dropped 2014, and recording an entire album of chamber out one credit short of graduation to concentrate rock titled So There with esteemed New York City on piano). ensemble yMusic in 2015. “I don’t really what know After a year working as an actor in New York it is I’m trying to do,” Folds laughs during a phone City, Folds moved back to the Tar Heel State and interview with Folio Weekly Magazine. “I’m trying formed Ben Folds Five, a trio (go figure) that to chase music that means something to me. It’s an specialized in what Folds called “punk rock for incredible challenge to pull off sissies.” The band broke expressing yourself through big on mainstream alt-rock BEN FOLDS, YMUSIC, DOTAN this medium. And that’s charts in the U.S., the UK, and 8 p.m. April 22, The Florida Theatre, enough to keep me going.” Australia, becoming famous Downtown, $39.50-$59.50, Folds describes his for its brand of wry, pianofloridatheatre.com relationship with yMusic, driven pop balladry. But the who’ve also worked with other Five became none circa 2000, shape-shifters like Beck, Dirty Projectors, and José when Folds opted to embark on a solo career that González, in terms of long-term familiarity: “They’re veered in 1,000 different directions. basically my brothers and sisters,” he says. “When Like what, you say? Collaborating with “Weird I was introduced to them, I didn’t look back. I had a Al” Yankovic, Amanda Palmer, Regina Spektor, new rock band basically.” and Sara Bareilles. Producing, arranging, and The group, who performed a few one-off dates co-writing William Shatner’s 2004 tour de force earlier in 2016, is now in the middle of a full-fledged Has Been. Hosting the first live-stream concerttour that Folds says should expand the horizons of by-request in Myspace history in 2006. Recruiting nearly anyone who shows up. “We’re playing some college a cappella groups to interpret his most new stuff that we’ve charted, and we’ve created popular songs. Joining NBC’s The Sing-Off space for a lot of the spontaneous stuff. We have as a regular judge. Jointly penning an album a pretty interesting dynamic when it comes to with British author Nick Hornby (High Fidelity). improvising. But it’s hard to know what to classify Becoming a YouTube phenomenon with a set of it as. We’re drawing new people who haven’t heard Chatroulette-skewering videos. And improbably

of me at all. We’re drawing old fans with whom the new work resonates. We’re drawing people who’ve listened to me forever, think most of my stuff is shit, and are like, ‘Finally, he’s making something good again.’ And all of those people are quite sure they’re the ones who are right.” At which point, out came the exuberant, gregarious Ben Folds who gave a jaw-dropping interview to Billboard last year: ruminations on insecurity, divorce, infidelity, and alcohol use; exhortations to classical music critics to “jump on a dick” if they didn’t like his technical chops; and an admission that he wanted to “piss in your yard” with his new record. “For many of us, we don’t know the answers in life,” says Folds. “So we want to be told by songwriters or musicians that they get it — that they know how we feel. That’s cathartic, especially if you don’t even know what‘s up in your life. We change so much that we often don’t know ourselves, and we really, really want and need the security of an artist knowing what the answer is.” But don’t take Ben Folds for an overly serious Debbie Downer, even though he’s made his name singing songs about abortion and addiction — and, now, entering into a thriving classical career. “You can have a dead serious song full of humor,” he says. “But a lot of people want their humor in a comedy song, and then want their music to be serious as shit. If it does both at the same time, like so much of my music, it’s confusing to them.”

Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly.com

APRIL 20-26, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35


FOLIO DINING AMELIA ISLAND FERNANDINA BEACH

BEECH STREET Bar & Grill, 801 Beech St., 572-1390, beechstreetbarandgrill.com. In an 1889 home, Chef Charles creates with fresh, local ingredients. Local seafood, handcut Florida steaks, housemade pasta, daily specials, small plates, street food. Courtyard. $$$-$$$$ FB D Tu-Sa; Brunch, D Su BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F Southern hospitality, upscale waterfront spot; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB L D Daily BURLINGAME RESTAURANT, 20 S. Fifth St., 432-7671, burlingamerestaurant.com. The menu at the new fine dining place changes quarterly, focusing on elegantly prepared dishes (eight apps, eight mains) made with quality seasonal ingredients. Duck confit, grilled pork chops. $$$ BW D Tu-Sa CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo. com. F Family-owned; historic building. Veggie burgers, seafood, made-from-scratch dressings, sauces, desserts. Dine in or on oak-shaded patio. Karibrew Pub next door. $$ FB K TO R, Su; L Daily, D Tu-Su in season CHEZ LEZAN BAKERY CO., 1014 Atlantic Ave., 491-4663, chezlezanbakery.com. Fresh European-style breads, pastries: croissants, muffins, cakes, pies. $ TO B R L Daily The CRAB TRAP, 31 N. Second St., 261-4749, ameliacrab trap.com. F 37 years, family-owned-and-operated. Fresh local seafood, steaks, specials. HH. $$ FB L D Daily GILBERT’S UNDERGROUND KITCHEN, 510 S. Eighth St., 310-6374, undergroundkitchen.com. Chef Kenny Gilbert

The PECAN ROLL BAKERY, 122 S. Eighth St., 491-9815, thepecanrollbakery.com. F Near historic district. Sweet and savory pastries, cookies, cakes, bagels, breads; made from scratch. $ TO B L W-Su The PICNIC BASKET, 503-A Centre St., 277-9779, picnicbasketfernandina.com. Small shop focuses on fresh fare, cheeses, confits, charcuteries, wines. $$ BW B L D M-Sa PI INFINITE COMBINATIONS, 19 S. Third St., 432-8535, pi32034.wix.com/piinfinite. All bar service, NYC-style. Specialty pizzas, by the pie or slice, toppings: truffle mushrooms, little neck clams, eggs, shrimp. Courtyard. $$ BW TO L D W-Su The SALTY PELICAN Bar & Grill, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. 2nd-story outdoor bar. Owners T.J. & Al offer local seafood, fish tacos, Mayport shrimp, po’boys, cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily The SAVORY MARKET, 474380 E. S.R. 200, 432-8551. Local, organic produce, wild-caught seafood – Mayport shrimp – Wainwright meats, raw dairy, deli. Café has salads, hand-helds, tacos. $$ TO M-Sa SLIDERS Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F Oceanfront. Crabcakes, fried pickles, fresh seafood. Open-air 2nd floor, balcony. $$ FB K L D Daily T-RAY’S Burger Station, 202 S. Eighth St., 261-6310. F 2015 BOJ winner. Family-owned-and-operated 18+ years. Blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L M-Sa

BITE-SIZED India House PINT-SIZED Liquid Smoke GRILL ME! Greek Street Café CHEFFED-UP Pie Crust Piper

PG. 37 PG. 38 PG. 38 PG. 39

BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO.

MINT INDIAN RESTAURANT, 8490 Baymeadows Rd., 367-1821, jaxmint.com. A new style of authentic, traditional Indian cuisine. Daily lunch buffet; HH. $ L D Daily NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 11030 Baymeadows Rd., 260-2791. SEE MANDARIN. PATTAYA THAI Grille, 9551 Baymeadows Rd., 646-9506, ptgrille.com. Family-owned 26+ years; serving new Thai, traditional, vegetarian; curries, noodles. Low-sodium, glutenfree, too. Open kitchen display. $$$ BW TO L D Tu-Su The WELL WATERING HOLE, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9, 737-7740, thewellwateringhole.com. Local craft beers, wines glass/bottle. Meatloaf sandwich, pulled Peruvian chicken, vegan black bean burgers. HH. $$ BW L M-F; D Tu-Sa ZESTY INDIA, 8358 Point Meadows Dr., 329-3676, zesty india.com. Chefs combine Asian methodology with European template for tandoori lamb chops, rosemary tikka. Vegetarian items cooked separately in vegetable oil. Lunch platters. $ BW TO L D Tu-Su

BEACHES

(Venues are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0002, alspizza.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. New Yorkstyle gourmet pizzas, baked dishes 28+ years. All-day HH M-Thu $ FB K TO L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001, europeanstreet.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & Tequila Bar, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 F 2015 BOJ winner. Latin American, tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana fare. 100+ tequilas. $ FB L D Daily GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925, gustojax.com. Classic Old World Roman cuisine, extensive Italian menu: homestyle pasta, beef, chicken, fish delicacies; open pizza-tossing kitchen. Reservations encouraged. $$ FB TO D Nightly HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815. SEE MANDARIN.

LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 657 Third St. N., 247-9620. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 1018 Third St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600, mellowmushroom.com. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. Hoagies, gourmet pizzas: Mighty Meaty, vegetarian, Kosmic Karma. 35 tap beers. Nonstop HH. $ BW K TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 1534 Third St. N., 853-6817. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO.

From gourmet sandwiches for lunch to sophisticated fare during the dinner hour, Derby on Park in 5 Points serves up a variety of flavors for any occasion. Photo by Dennis Ho (Top Chef season 7) serves Deep Southern American cuisine. Dine inside or on a patio. $$ BW K TO L F; D W-Sa & M; R Su HOLA CUBAN CAFÉ, 117 Centre St., 321-0163, holacuban cafe.com. F Behind Palace Saloon; owned by real Cubans; authentic sandwiches, coffee. Dine in or out at umbrella tables. $$ FB K TO R, Su; L D Daily HORIZONS, 5472 First Coast Hwy., 321-2430, horizons ameliaisland.com. Fine dining, upscale setting. Gourmet fare, seafood, steaks, lamb, pasta. $$$ FB L D Tu-Sa JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddian escafe.com. F 1887 shotgun house. Jambalaya, French toast, mac-n-cheese, crêpes, vegan/vegetarian. Dine in or on a porch. $$ FB K B L D Daily LA MANCHA, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646. Spanish/ Portuguese cuisine with a Brazilian flair. Tapas, seafood, steaks, homemade sangria. Drink specials. AYCE paella Sunday. $$$ FB K TO D Nightly MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moonriver pizza.net. F 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic Northern-style pizzas, 20+ toppings, pie or slice. $ BW TO L D M-Sa The MUSTARD SEED CAFÉ, 833 Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Casual organic eatery, juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, herbal tea, daily specials. $$ TO B L M-Sa PABLO’S Mexican Restaurant Grill & Cantina, 12 N. Second St., 261-0049. Chicken, carnes, fajitas, burritos, tacos, daily specials, vegetarian. $$ FB K TO L D Daily To list your restaurant, call your account manager or Sam Taylor, 860-2465 • staylor@folioweekly.com

DINING DIRECTORY $KEY

AVERAGE ENTRÉE COST

$ = Less than 10 $$ = $10-$20 $$$ = $20-$35 $$$$ = $35 & up BW = Beer/Wine FB = Full Bar K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch L = Lunch D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted free FW Bite Club tasting. fwbiteclub.com. 2015 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot

36 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 20-26, 2016

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1301 Monument Rd., Ste. 5, 724-5802. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

FLORIDA CREAMERY, 3566 St. Johns Ave., 619-5386. Ice cream, waffle cones, milkshakes, sundaes, Nathan’s grilled hot dogs. Low-fat and sugar-free choices. $ K TO L D Daily HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, harpoonlouies.net. F Locally owned & operated 20+ years. American pub. 1/2-lb. burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta. Local beers, HH. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. PINEGROVE MARKET & DELI, 1511 PineGrove Ave., 389-8655, pinegrovemarket.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. 40+ years. Burgers, Cubans, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher cuts USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. $ BW TO B L D M-Sa RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaur antorsay.com. 2015 BOJ winner. French/Southern bistro; local organic ingredients. Steak frites, mussels, pork chops. Snail of Approval. $$$ FB R, Su; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simply saras.net. F Down-home fare from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D M-Sa, B Sa

BAYMEADOWS

AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F

2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

INDIA’S Restaurant, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajax.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetables, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L M-Sa; D Nightly LARRY’S Subs, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9, 737-7740. 8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., 425-9142. F 2015

MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573, mezzarestaurantandbar.com. F Near-the-ocean 20+ years. Casual bistro fare: gourmet wood-fired pizzas, nightly specials. Dine in, patio. $$$ FB K D M-Sa MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636, mojobbq.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Pulled pork, beef, chicken, Carolina-style, sides. $$ FB K TO L D Daily M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-2599, mshack burgers.com. 2015 BOJ winner. David and Matthew Medure flip burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes, more. Dine inside or out – people-watch at Beaches Town Center. $$ BW L D Daily NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 1585 Third St. N., 458-1390. SEE BAYMEADOWS. POE’S TAVERN, 363 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7637, poestavern.com. Gastropub, 50+ beers, gourmet burgers, handcut fries, fish tacos, Edgar’s Drunken Chili, daily fish sandwich special. $$ FB K L D Daily RAGTIME TAVERN & SEAFOOD GRILL, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F 30+ years, iconic seafood place. Blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily HH. $$ FB L D Daily SEACHASERS, 831 First St. N., 372-0444, seachasers. com. New place; four dining areas: First Street Bar, Music Room, Beach Bar, Dining Room. Daily HH. Dine in or on patio. $$ FB L D Daily SLIDERS SEAFOOD GRILLE & OYSTER BAR, 218 First St., NB, 246-0881, slidersseafoodgrille.com. Beach-casual spot. Faves: Fresh fish tacos, gumbo. Key lime pie, ice cream sandwiches. $$ FB K L Sa/Su; D Nightly SNEAKERS SPORTS GRILLE, 111 Beach Blvd., 482-1000, sneakerssportsgrille.com. 2015 BOJ winner. 20+ tap beers, TVs. HH M-F. $ FB K L D Daily UGLY CUPCAKE MUFFINRY & Cafe, 115 Fifth Ave. S., 339-5214, theuglycupcakemuffinry.com. Sweet/ savory giant muffins, made from organic, locally sourced ingredients. Outside seating. $$ TO B L Daily

DOWNTOWN

AKEL’S DELICATESSSEN, 21 W. Church St., 665-7324, akelsdeli.com. 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 125, 446-3119. F New York-style deli has breakfast, fresh made subs, specialty sandwiches, burgers, gyros, wraps, desserts, vegetarian items. $ TO B L M-F The CANDY APPLE CAFÉ & COCKTAILS, 400 N. Hogan St., 353-9717, thecandyapplecafe.com. Chef-driven cuisine, sandwiches, entrées, salads. HH Tu-F $$ FB K D Tu-Sa CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth St., 356-8282. F Chef Sam Hamidi serves Italian fare, 40+ years: veal, seafood, gourmet pizza. Homemade salad dressing. $ BW K L M-F; D M-Sa FIONN MacCOOL’S IRISH PUB & RESTAURANT, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1547, fionnmacs.com. Casual dining, uptown Irish atmosphere; fish & chips, Guinness lamb stew, black-and-tan brownies. $$ FB K L D Daily FOLKFOOD, 219 N. Hogan St., 333-8392 Southern


FOLIO DINING : BITE-SIZED

LET’S GET

photo by Brentley Stead

HOUSED

India House on Baymeadows has a BUFFET EXTRAORDINAIRE start. You’ll be hooked as soon as the complex INDIAN FOOD IS ONE OF MY BIGGEST flavors and rich sauce pass your lips. weaknesses, the Indian buffet my Achilles With so many tasty sauces, you’ll want to heel. I will just eat and eat, until I can barely use as much rice and naan as you can to soak roll myself out of the restaurant. it up. To get the most variety in one trip, I tend There are some fantastic Indian spots to to set up my plate with a row of rice straight choose from in the Baymeadows area, and down the middle, giving me optimum space with so many options you can’t go wrong. for a little taste of everything. We chose INDIA HOUSE because it gets major Dessert is a choice between the cool and points for the fresh naan the waiters bring fragrant kheer or the warm and rich gulab right to your table. jamun. Kheer is an Indian rice pudding Speaking of waiters, the service at India with the added bonus House is impeccable. The of almond slivers and waiters are attentive and cardamom. You don’t see anticipate your need for INDIA HOUSE cardamom a lot here in more water (and naan) 8661 Baymeadows Rd. 683-5528, jaxindiahouse.com Jax, and this is one of the before you even have to best dishes to experience look up to ask. The naan it. Just try not to eat arrives hot and buttery the pods if it’s your first time! If you’re in with a little sprinkle of fresh cilantro. I the mood for something warm and sweet, strongly recommend savoring a piece while gulab jamun is for you. These round balls of it’s piping hot; there are few life experiences as wonderful as fresh naan. dough are drenched in a honey syrup and Let’s get down to the business of the buffet. each bite is more satisfying than the last. On the vegetarian side, you’ll find a variety Undecided? Get both — that’s the point of of dishes from lentils to eggplant. The saag a buffet! paneer is a must; it’s a heavenly dish that What is the price, you may ask, for such a consists of spinach simmered with paneer, complete sensory experience? The weekday a traditional Indian cheese. For cauliflower buffet at India House is $8.99, the weekend lovers, the fragrant cauliflower and potato trip is $9.95. Where else in Northeast Florida combo is a winning decision. can you sample a variety of flavors of a cuisine For the carnivore, there’s savory chicken for such a low price? Next to nowhere, except curry, tikka masala, chicken tandoori and India House on Baymeadows. tender goat. If you are new to Indian food, the Brentley Stead curry chicken and the chicken tikka masala, bitesized@folioweekly.com ____________________________________ in its creamy tomato sauce, are good places to

APRIL 20-26, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37


DINING DIRECTORY PINT-SIZED

LIQUIDSMOKE Beer B eer aand nd M MARIJUANA ARIJUANA C CULTURE ULTURE collide in amalgamated brews

CERTAIN DATES HAVE MORE MEANING THAN others; the Fourth of July is known as the day the United States declared its freedom from the British, December 25th is recognized as the day Christ was born and Mother’s Day is celebrated on the second Sunday of May. To a certain people, April 20 is a holiday, too. Known as 420 Day, it’s the unofficial day to celebrate all things cannabis. As laws criminalizing marijuana are increasingly repealed, cannabis is experiencing a strong surge in popularity. The growing cannabis culture has coincided with the rise of craft beer culture, leading to some interesting results. In a noteworthy coincidence, cannabis and hops are actually closely related plants. In fact, back in 2002, a group of biologists looked at the characteristics of both plants and concluded that hops, Humulus lupulus, and marijuana, Cannabis sativa, share a common ancestral plant and are therefore part of the same genealogical family, Cannabaceae. Hops are actually a relatively new addition to beer. The first historical text to mention hops, one of Pliny the Elder’s botanical catalogs, was written in 77 AD. The first written record of humans cultivating the plant does not appear until 736 AD; 82 years later, hops were first referred to being used in beer. But since the early Ninth Century, hops have taken over; today we simply would not consider a drink to be beer absent hops. Back to the intersection of beer and pot: Because of the popularity of both intoxicating substances, it was inevitable brewers would embrace cannabis culture. Often the connection is conveyed with a wink and a nod through names that reference marijuana or its culture. A prime example: Oskar Blues’ Pinner Throwback IPA. (“Pinner” is stoner slang for a small joint.) Another, not-so-subtle reference comes in the name of SweetWater’s 420 Extra Pale Ale. The confluence between the two cultures is so strong, Leafly.com, a website that bills itself as “… the world’s largest cannabis information resource,” has a Beer & Cannabis Flavor Pairing Guide. The guide tells how to pair strains of cannabis with particular styles of beer. For example, a descriptively named strain of marijuana, Agent Orange – so named for its orange flavors – might pair well with Belgian-style hefeweizen, because of the frequent addition of orange peel to the brew. Perhaps the closest mash-up of the two cultures are beers that include parts of the marijuana plant as ingredients. California’s Humboldt Brewing Company brews its Brown Hemp Ale with toasted hemp seeds. Hemp does not have the psychoactive substance tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), so it’s completely legal to produce and drink anywhere. As more and more states legalize weed, you can bet that brewers will find ways to tap into its popularity. Toke on, dudes! Until pot is legalized in Florida, console yourself with these ganja-inspired brews available in the area.

PINT-SIZED

Humboldt Brown Hemp Ale Don’t expect it to taste like the grass you smoked in college. Think of it as a strong example of English brown ale that’s light on hops and more malt-forward with an interesting herbal note. SweetWater 420 Extra Pale Ale The well-crafted pale ale is as much a part of Atlanta culture as the Braves and The Clermont Lounge. Consistently good – you can’t go wrong popping the top on one of these as you float the Chattahoochee. Oskar Blues Pinner Throwback IPA At just 4.9 percent ABV, Pinner is a crushable IPA that packs a wallop of flavor. Throw a few of these back on a hot summer afternoon and chill to some Bob Marley, mon. Marc Wisdom marc@folioweekly.com 38 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 20-26, 2016

specialties, coastal cuisine like fried catfish, Florida citrus kale salad, blackened mahi mahi tacos, meatloaf with curry sauce, homestyle desserts made in-house daily. $ BW TO L D M-F INDOCHINE, 21 E. Adams St., Ste. 200, 598-5303, indo chinejax.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Thai, Southeast Asian cuisine. Signature dishes are chicken Satay, soft shell crab; mango, sticky rice dessert. $$ FB TO L D M-F; D Tu-Sa OLIO MARKET, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com. F From-scratch soups, sandwiches. Duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L M-F; D F URBAN GRIND COFFEE COMPANY, 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 102, 866-395-3954, 516-7799, urbangrind.coffee. Variety of locally roasted whole bean brewed coffee, espressos, smoothies, fresh pastries, bagels, homemade cream cheeses. Chicken salad (best ever), tuna salad, sandwiches. Free Wi-Fi. $ B L M-F URBAN GRIND Express, 50 W. Laura St., 516-7799. SEE ABOVE. ZODIAC BAR & GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283, thezodiacbarandgrill.com. 16+ years. Mediterranean cuisine, American fare, paninis, vegetarian dishes. Daily lunch buffet. Espressos, hookahs. HH W-Sa $ FB L M-F

AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., Ste. 201, 388-8384. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

BLACK SHEEP Restaurant, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, blacksheep5points.com. New American, Southern; local source ingredients. Rooftop bar. $$$ FB R Sa/Su; L D Daily BREW FIVE POINTS, 1024 Park St., 714-3402, brewfive points.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Local craft beer, espresso, coffee, wine. Rotating drafts, 75+ can craft beers; sodas, tea. Waffles, toasts, desserts, specialty coffees. HH. $$ B L Su/M; B L D Tu-Sa COOL MOOSE CAFÉ, 2708 Park St., 381-4242, coolmoose cafe.net. New England-style café; full breakfast menu, classic sandwiches, wraps, soups, brunch all day Sunday. Gourmet coffees. $$ BW R L D Tu-Su CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412, cornertaco. com. Made-from-scratch “Mexclectic street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free, vegetarian options. $ BW L D Tu-Su DERBY on PARK, 1068 Park St., 379-3343. New American cuisine, upscale retro in historic landmark building. Shrimp & grits, lobster bites, 10-oz. gourmet burger. Dine inside or out. $$-$$$ FB B L D Tu-Su, R Sa/Su

826-4040. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. METRO DINER, 1000 S. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 758-3323. F 2015 BOJ winner. Now dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. ONE TWENTY THREE Burger House, 123 King St., 687-2790. From Carmelo’s owners. Premium burgers, made with beef from NYC butcher Schweid & Sons. Wood-fired pizzas, ice cream bar, Old World milkshakes. $$ BW K TO L D Daily

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

BASIL Thai & Sushi, 1004 Hendricks Ave., 674-0190, basilthaijax.com. F Authentic Pad Thai, curry, tempura, vegetarian, seafood, stir-fry, specials. HH. $$ FB L D M-Sa BISTRO AIX, 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox.com. F Mediterranean/French inspired; steak frites, oak-fired pizza, raw bar, seasonal selections. HH M-F $$$ FB L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET Café, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 398-9500. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. $ BW K L D Daily FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusion sushijax.com. F Upscale sushi spot serves fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu. $$ K L D Daily INDOCHINE, 1974 San Marco Blvd., 503-7013. 2015 BOJ

FLEMING ISLAND

GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 1915 East-West Parkway, 541-0009. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. TAPS Bar & Grill, 1605 C.R. 220, Ste. 145, 278-9421, tapspublichouse.com. 50+ premium domestic, imported tap beers. Burgers, sandwiches, entrées. $$ FB K L D Daily WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteys fishcamp.com. F Real fish camp. Gator tail, freshwater catfish, daily specials, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar. Come by boat, bike or car. $ FB K TO L Tu-Su; D Nightly

INTRACOASTAL WEST

AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F

2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980. F SEE ORANGE PARK. ORANGE TREE Hot Dogs, 3500 Beach, Ste. 43, 551-3661, orangetreehotdogs.com. Hot dogs, personal size pizzas since ’68. Hershey’s ice cream, milkshakes. $ K TO L D Daily SID & LINDA’S Seafood Market & Restaurant, 12220 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 109, 503-8276. Pick your own whole fresh fish, have it cleaned, filleted, cooked to order. Dine in, take out. Housemade sauces. $$ K TO L D Daily

MANDARIN, NW ST. JOHNS

AKEL’S DELI, 12926 Granbay Pkwy. W., 880-2008. F SEE DOWNTOWN.

AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199. F 20+ years. Dolmades (stuffed grape leaves), baby shoes (stuffed eggplant). Greek beers. $$ BW L D M-F; D Sa FIRST COAST DELI & GRILL, 6082 St. Augustine Rd., 733-7477. Diner: pancakes, bacon, sandwiches, burgers, wings. $ K TO B L Daily HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 30, 880-3040, harmoniousmonks.net. American-style steakhouse, filets, gourmet burgers, ribs, wraps, sandwiches. $$ FB K L D M-Sa LARRY’S Subs, 11362 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 3, 674-2945. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F 2015 BOJ winner. Now dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. F Organic soups, sandwiches, wraps, baked goods, prepared foods. Juice, smoothie and coffee bar. All-natural, organic beers, wines. Indoor, outdoor dining. $ BW TO K B L D Daily TAPS Bar & Grill, 2220 C.R. 210 W., Ste. 314, 819-1554. SEE FLEMING ISLAND.

ORANGE PARK

The HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959, hilltop-club.com. Southern-style fine dining. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. Extensive bourbon selection. $$$ FB D Tu-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 165, 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 15, 272-3553. 5733 Roosevelt Blvd., 446-9500. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove, 284-7789, larryssubs.com. F All over the area, Larry’s piles ’em high, serves ’em fast; 33+ years. Hot & cold subs, soups. Some Larry’s serve breakfast. $ K TO B L D Daily METRO DINER, 2034 Kingsley Ave., 375-8548. F 2015 BOJ winner. Now dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. PASTA MARKET Italian Restaurant & Clam Bar, 1930 Kingsley Ave., 276-9551, pastamarketitalianrestaurant. com. Family-owned-and-operated. Gourmet pizzas, veal, chicken, mussels, shrimp, grouper. Pastas: spaghetti, lasagna, fettuccine, ziti, calzones, linguini, tortellini. $$ BW K D Nightly SNACSHACK, 179 College Dr., Ste. 19, 682-7622, snac shack.menu. F Bakery and café; bagels, muffins, breads, cookies, brownies, snack treats. $$ K BW TO B L D Daily The URBAN BEAN Coffeehouse Café, 2023 Park Ave., 541-4938, theurbanbeancoffeehouse.com. Coffee, espresso, gourmet sandwiches, flatbreads, apps. $$ K TO B L D Daily

PONTE VEDRA BEACH

AL’S Pizza, 635 A1A, 543-1494. F 2015 BOJ. SEE BEACHES. LARRY’S Subs, 830 A1A N., Ste. 6, 273-3993. F SEE O. PARK.

RIVERSIDE, 5 PTS, WESTSIDE

13 GYPSIES, 887 Stockton St., 389-0330, 13gypsies.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic Mediterranean peasant cuisine updated for Americans; tapas, blackened octopus, risotto of the day, coconut mango curry chicken. $$ BW L D Tu-Sa

GRILL ME!

EVA LaROSA

GREEK STREET CAFÉ 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Intracoastal BORN IN: New York HOW LONG IN THE BIZ: 35 FAVE RESTAURANT (other than mine): Moxie Kitchen, St. Johns Town Center FAVE CUISINE STYLE: Italian FAVE INGREDIENT: Garlic IDEAL MEAL: Any meal at Mario Batali's restaurants. WILL NOT CROSS MY LIPS: Vegemite! INSIDER'S SECRET: Never order a gyro if it's not on a rotisserie. CELEBRITY SIGHTING: None yet MY CULINARY VICE: Anything chocolate and/or peanut better

EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 2753 Park St., 384-9999. 2015 BOJ winner. 130+ import beers, 20 on tap. Sandwiches. Outside dining at some EStreets. $ BW K L D Daily GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Juice bar uses certified organic fruits, vegetables. Artisanal cheeses, more than 300 craft, imported beers, 50 organic wines, and organic produce, meats, vitamins, herbs. Organic wraps, sides, sandwiches. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS Asian Street Fare, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic dishes from mobile stalls. $ BW TO L D Daily HOBNOB, 220 Riverside Ave., Ste. 110, 513-4272, hobnob withus.com. New place serves cuisine driven by global inspirations, local intentions – ahi poke tuna, jumbo lump crab tacos. $$ FB TO L D Brunch Daily IL DESCO, 2665 Park St., 290-6711, ildescojax.com. Modern, authentic Italian cuisine. Handcrafted cocktails. $$-$$$ FB TO K L D Daily JOHNNY’S DELI & GRILLE, 474 Riverside Ave., 356-8055. F Casual; made-to-order sandwiches, wraps, salads, breakfast. $ TO B L M-Sa LARRY’S Giant Subs, 1509 Margaret St., 674-2794. 7895 Normandy Blvd., 781-7600. 8102 Blanding, 779-1933. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

LITTLE JOE’S CAFÉ by Akel, 245 Riverside Ave., Ste. 195, 791-3336. Riverview café serves soups, salads, signature salad dressings. $ TO B L M-F METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., 999-4600. F 2015

BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO.

MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE AMELIA ISLAND.

MOSSFIRE GRILL, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434, mossfire. com. F Southwestern fish tacos, chicken enchiladas. HH M-Sa upstairs, all day Su $$ FB K L D Daily M SHACK, 1012 Margaret St., 423-1283. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

PATTAYA Thai Grille, 1526 King, 503-4060. SEE BAYMEADOWS. RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969. 2015 BOJ winner. Bar food. $ D SBRAGA & Company, 220 Riverside Ave., Ste. 114, 746-0909, sbragadining.com. Chef Kevin Sbraga has a contemporary culinary approach to local influences. Go-to dishes: hog & hominy, fish fry, carrot ceviche. $$-$$$ FB TO L D Daily SOUTHERN ROOTS Filling Station, 1275 King St., 513-4726, southernrootsjax.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Healthy, light vegan fare; local, organic ingredients. Specials, on bread, local greens or rice, change daily. Coffees, teas. $ Tu-Su SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside, Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushi cafejax.com. F Monster, Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll. Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. $$ BW L D Daily TIMOTI’S SEAFOD SHAK, 1043 Park St., 374-8892. Brand new. SEE AMELIA ISLAND.

ST. AUGUSTINE

AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

The FLORIDIAN, 72 Spanish St., 829-0655, thefloridian staug.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Updated Southern fare. Vegetarian, gluten-free. Fried green tomato bruschetta; grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D W-M GYPSY CAB Company, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F Local mainstay 25+ years. Varied menu changes twice daily. Signature dish: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. $$ FB R Su; L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 410 Anastasia Blvd.,

winner. SEE DOWNTOWN.

KITCHEN on SAN MARCO, 1402 San Marco Blvd., 396-2344, kitchenonsanmarco.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Local, national craft beers, specialty cocktails, seasonal menu, fresh, locally sourced ingredients. $$ FB R Su; L D Daily MARDI GRAS Sports Bar, 123 San Marco Ave., 347-3288, mardibar.com. Wings, nachos, shrimp, chicken, Phillys, sliders, soft pretzels. $$ FB TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metro diner.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Original upscale diner. Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, soups. This Metro serves dinner nightly. $$ B R L Daily PIZZA PALACE, 1959 San Marco Blvd., 399-8815, pizza palacejax.com. F Family-owned-&-operated; spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, ravioli, lasagna. Dine outside. HH. $$ BW K TO L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco Blvd., 398-3005, tavernasan marco.com. Chef Sam Efron’s authentic Italian; local produce, meats, tapas, wod-fired pizza. Craft beers & cocktails. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily

SOUTHSIDE, TINSELTOWN

ALHAMBRA Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. USA’s longest-running dinner theater; Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus. Reservations. $$ FB D Tu-Su The CHATTY CRAB, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138C, 888-0639, chattycrab.com. Chef Dana Pollard’s raw oysters, Nawlins-style low country boil, po’ boys, 50¢ wing specials. $$ FB K TO L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE.

GREEK STREET CAFÉ, 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Ste. 106, 503-0620, greekstreetcafe.com. Fresh, authentic, modern fare; Greek owners. Gyros, spanakopita, dolmades, falafel, salads, Greek nachos. $$ BW K TO L D M-Sa LARRY’S Subs, 3611 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F SEE ORANGE PARK. MARIANAS GRINDS, 11380 Beach, Ste. 10, 206-612-6596. Pacific Islander fare, emphasizing chamorro culture. Soups, stews, fitada, beef oxtail, katden pika; spicy empanadas, lumpia, chicken relaguen, BBQ-style ribs, chicken. $$ TO B L D Tu-Su MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

MOXIE KITCHEN + Cocktails, 4972 Big Island Dr., 998-9744, moxiefl.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Chef Tom Gray’s venue has innovative contemporary American cuisine – seafood, steaks, pork, burgers, sides, desserts – using locally sourced ingredients when possible. $$$ FB K L M-F; D Nightly M SHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000. 2015 BOJ

winner. SEE BEACHES.

OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Br. Dr., 900-7730, ovinte.com. 2015 BOJ winner. European-style, influenced by Italy, Spain, Mediterranean. Small plates, entrée-size portions, charcuterie menu. 240-bottle/wines, 75/glass; craft spirits. Dine outdoors. $$ FB R, Su; D Nightly RITA’S DELI, 9446 Philips Hwy., 806-3923. Sandwiches of Boar’s Head meats, cheeses. $$ BW TO L D M-Sa TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Ct., 854-0426, taverna yamas.com. F Bite Club. Char-broiled kabobs, seafood, wines, desserts. Daily HH. Bellydancing. $$ FB K TO L D Daily TOMMY’S Brick Oven Pizza, 4160 Southside Blvd., Ste. 2, 565-1999, tbopizza.com. NY-style thin crust, brickoven-cooked pizzas – gluten-free. Calzones, sandwiches, Thumann’s no-MSG meats, Grande cheeses. Boylan’s soda. Curbside pickup. $$ BW K TO L D M-Sa


DINING DIRECTORY TOSSGREEN, 4375 Southside Blvd., Ste. 12, 619-4356. 4668 Town Crossing Dr., Ste. 105, 686-0234. Custom salads, burrito bowls; fresh fruits, vegetables, 100% natural chicken breast, sirloin, shrimp, tofu, nuts, cheeses, dressings, sauces, salsas, frozen yogurt. $$ K L D Daily

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

HOLA Mexican Restaurant, 1001 N. Main St., 356-3100, holamexicanrestaurant.com. F Fajitas, burritos, specials, enchiladas. HH; sangria. $ BW K TO L D M-Sa

THE PIE CRUST

LARRY’S Giant Subs, 12001 Lem Turner Rd., 764-9999. SEE ORANGE PARK.

MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 15170 Max Leggett Parkway, 757-8843. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

MOLLY BROWN’S Pub & Grill, 2467 Faye Rd., 683-5044, mollybrownspubandgrill.com. F American (traditional), brunch, burgers, diner fare, hot dogs, sandwiches, seafood, Southern, vegetarian dishes. $$ FB TO L D Daily

CHEFFED-UP

PIPER

All great pie starts with GREAT CRUST

REMEMBER THE LAST TIME YOU HAD A really good homemade pie? Bet it’s been a while. Pie dough seems easy because, well, it really is! That doesn’t mean that y’all make nice pie dough, ’cause you don’t — do you? I used to think that girls learned how to make pies watching their mothers and grandmothers. Sadly, even simple cooking techniques, such as basic dough-making, are no longer passed down through generations. We don’t lose just the art of how to make a good pie crust, we lose the memory of how a really good pie crust tastes. Don’t worry, Chef Bill will help you bring back delicious crusts. Making great pie dough with a crispy, buttery, flakey crust ain’t rocket science — it’s BUTTER SCIENCE! The secret is cold butter. Not just cold butter, but evenly distributed cold butter. Nice dough consists of a few simple ingredients: flour, butter, salt, sugar and water. Your first step is to get out your food processor. Add the dry ingredients and pulse them a few times. This mixes the dough and lightens the mixture. Next, add butter. It’s critically important that the butter is in one-quarter-inch to one-half-inch pieces and is butt-cold. Really, really butt-cold! Add the butter to the flour mixture and pulse, for a few seconds at a time, until the butter is reduced to a mealy consistency. The pieces should be about 1/16-inch and evenly distributed throughout the flour. Next add the ice-cold water — but not all at once! (Save about a half-ounce to use if the mixture’s too dry.) Pulse the water into the mix. Do not over-mix! The dough should still be mealy. If the mixture is in a soft ball, you’ve over-processed the dough. You lose! Start again and follow the directions this time. All that’s left to do is to turn it out and roll. If the pieces of butter are still visible, good job, Betty Crocker! Here’s a rustic peach pie recipe. Try your newly acquired skill by following the simple directions; you don’t need an elaborate, prissy crust to taste the deliciousness.

CHEF BILL’S PEACH CROSTATA

Dough Ingredients: • 2 Cups all-purpose flour • 1/4 Cup sugar • 1 Teaspoon salt • 6 Ounces butter cut in half-inch squares • 1/4 Cup ice cold water

CHEFFED-UP

Dough Directions: 1. Combine flour, sugar and salt in a food 1. processor, pulse to blend. Add butter. 1. Pulse until the butter is reduced to the 1. size of small peas. With machine 1. running, add the ice water and process 1. for 10 seconds. 2. Turn out onto parchment. Makes two 1. 11-inch disks. Divide accordingly, roll 1. into disks, wrap in plastic and refrigerate. Filling Ingredients: • 1/4 Cup all-purpose flour • 1/4 Cup sugar • 4 Tablespoons butter • 2 Peaches peeled, pitted, sliced in • 3/4-inch wedges • 1 Egg yolk, mixed with 1 teaspoon • heavy cream • 1 Tablespoon granulated sugar Directions: 1. Combine the flour and sugar in a small 1. bowl, cut in the butter to a coarse meal. 2. Place the peaches in the center of a 1. disk and top with butter/sugar mixture. 3. Drape the edges up forming at least 1. three pleats. Press down and crimp. 4. Brush with egg wash, sprinkle with sugar. 5. Bake at 450° for 25 minutes. 6. Close your eyes and taste the delicious 1. once again. Until we cook again,

Chef Bill cheffedup@folioweekly.com ___________________________________ Chef Bill Thompson, who owns Amelia Island Culinary Academy in Historic Fernandina Beach, is ready to take your recipe suggestions or questions. APRIL 20-26, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 39


PET EVENTS PET ADOPTION EVENTS • “It’s Raining Cats & Dogs” features hundreds of adorable animals, adoptable at $40 each. The adoptions are held 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Saturday, April 23 and Sunday, April 24 at PetSmart Regency Square, 356 Monument Rd., Jacksonville, 724-4600, petsmart.com. CAMP COMPASSION • Epic Animals Outreach offers two final one-day camps for kids ages 6-8 – Sea Turtles & Marine Life is the second camp’s theme, held 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. April 30 at Beaches Branch Library, aa Third St., Neptune

ADOPTABLES

ELLEN

.

I’M NO DEGENERATE • Greetings, cat lovers! My name is Ellen and I’m as cute as they come. I enjoy a nice back rub every now and then. I’m a bit of a foodie – that’s why I prefer fancy fare to dry kibble – but I’m not high-maintenance!. Please come meet me at JHS! Open seven days a week. More info online at jaxhumane.org.

Beach, and May 21 at Pablo Creek Library, 13295 Beach Blvd., 274-1177, epicanimals.org. PET CARDIOPULMONARY RESUSCITATION, FIRST AID CLASSES • Class is held 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Saturday, April 30 at 8449 Arlington Expressway, Arlington; 635-3665, petlifesaverjax.com. DOGGIE DIPS Fernandina Beach Parks & Recreation sponsors

ADOPTABLES

BUCK

WHO WANTS TO CUDDLE? • I’m a laidback dog who’s always down for a nice long walk, but I must admit that my favorite thing to do is curl up on a nice comfy couch with my favorite human. I’m super-sweet and give the best kisses! My favorite treat is squeeze cheese. Do you have any? No? Well, we can work on that. Let’s be best friends! Come meet me at Jax Humane Society! For adoption information and details, visit jaxhumane.org. a swimming pool activity for dogs and their owners, 2-3 p.m. Saturday, April 23 at MLKing Center, 1200 Elm St., Fernandina Beach. $5 per dog. No dog bullies allowed; two dogs/owner max; no humans in the pool. 310-3350 ext. 1 for details. Proceeds support a free swimming lesson program for humans.

40 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 20-26, 2016

To see your pet event here, send event name, time, date, location with complete street address and city, admission price, contact number/website to print, to mdryden@ folioweekly.com – at least two weeks before the event.


PETS LOOKIN’ FOR LOVE FOLIO

W E E K LY

FOLIO LIVING

PET

LOVERS’

GUIDE

DEAR DAVI

REUNITED ’CAUSE IT FEELS

SO GOOD

Tags, collars and microchips help LOST PETS find their way home

Dear Davi, I’m an indoor cat. Why must I wear an annoying tag around my neck? Emily the Annoyed Cat Hi Emily, In a word: safety. FoundAnimals.org reports that nearly one out of every three pets will get lost at some point during their lifetime, and without proper identification, 90 percent of lost pets never return home. Collars with identification are your fastest ticket back if you become lost. All it takes is one paw out the door and suddenly you’re wandering the streets. Case in point — look at what happened to Baxter the Beagle: I was so excited when I saw the open door. I raced out, forgetting that I was supposed to be leashed, but tracking smells and chasing squirrels was on my mind. Now I’m lost and it’s getting dark and I’m hungry. Where’s my home? Lucky for Baxter, a park patron checked his tag, contacted his human, and returned him home safely. It’s a good idea to also wear your proof of vaccination tag to let whoever finds you know that you’re up-to-date with your shots. In nearly every situation, the best way to get home safely is a simple, updated ID tag. While 80 percent of pet parents think tagging their pets is important, only 33 percent reported having an ID on their animal. If jingling tags drive you batty, a microchip is a great backup. While microchips are not tracking devices, they do play a crucial role in identifying lost pets.

Take Luna the Cat’s story, for instance: I never roam far, but one day I decided to visit our neighbor’s flower garden and got caught in a trap. Turns out the neighbor was fed up with finding poop in his plants, so he rigged traps to catch the culprits. He must have assumed I was homeless because I don’t wear a collar. Now I’ve been hauled away and am sitting in a cage, missing my human, and hoping she rescues me. Fortunately for Luna, she was microchipped, so the microchip reader made a positive match and she was reunited with her mom. It’s good to know that animal control agencies and vets are required to scan all incoming pets. If you are one of the 67 percent who sometimes or never wears a tag — get chipped. These chips carry a unique ID number, sort of like a social security number, that’s connected to your contact information. The chip is no bigger than a grain of rice and is injected beneath the surface of your skin between the shoulder blades. The process is simple and does not require anesthetic. Even better, it won’t fall off, be removed, and it lasts a lifetime. Protecting yourself with both tags and a microchip can help ensure a happy reunion if the unthinkable happens. It’s also important to keep your contact information current. If you move or change your phone number, update your microchip information immediately. Don’t wait. Stay safe! Davi mail@folioweekly.com

PET TIP: STUFFED WITH LOVE GEORGE CARLIN POINTED OUT THAT BUYING A PET IS SYNONYMOUS WITH BUYING A TINY TRAGEDY. The sad truth is that pets — with the exception of certain birds and tortoises — don’t live as long as humans, so you’ll probably outlive that wee creature whose face and feces are a mainstay of your existence. The good news is you can keep snuggling Tigger forever if you so desire. Just have your dearly departed immortalized at the local taxidermist. Less creepy alternatives include portraits, tattoos, cremains in lockets and making concrete molds of their paws. APRIL 20-26, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 41


NEWS OF THE WEIRD TORCH PASSED

Love is in the air … just inhale, right? Hah! Let Folio Weekly Magazine help you connect with that surfer hunk you saw at the Young Vegan Professionals meet-up, or the goddess at Target who “accidentally” dropped a jasmine-scented kazoo in your cart.

Go to folioweekly.com/i-saw-u.html and fill out the FREE form correctly (40 words or fewer, dammit) by 5 p.m. Friday – next stop: Bliss! BEAUTIFUL WEST VIRGINIAN You: Tan BBW, three mixed kids, WVU tank top, American flag tattoo on back. Me: Overall cutoffs, American flag tattoo on neck, Gator T-shirt. You offered snuff. Nervous, I refused. Like to dip in you in my single-wide. When: April 8. Where: Collins Road Trailer Park. #1604-0413

PIERCED GIRL WITH DOG You: White SUV, cool shirt, septum piercing, pitbull Scout with heartworm. Me: Guy dressed too warmly for cold morning, with bull mastiff. You tried to talk; I’d been awake 20 minutes. Thinking about missed chance. Let’s meet. When: Feb. 9. Where: Baymeadows Animal Hospital. #1593-0217

MY TRAILER PARK QUEEN Me: Long hair, tats, white shirt, sippin’ a Bud Lite with my pops. You: Prego, kid on each hip, also drinking a Bud Lite, puffin’ a Winston. Let’s get drunk; lemme put another one in the oven. When: April 3. Where: Ramona Flea Market Beer Garden. #1603-0406

TANGO FOR TWO Dance Shack free lesson night. You: Brunette, cute smile, gray booties. Me: Tall, dark eyes, black V-neck. You wanted to stay and tango; didn’t hear you. My friend told me later! Offer still stand? Lesson’s on me. When: Feb. 5. Where: Dance Shack. #1592-0217

ACCIDENTALLY PUBLIC MAKEOUT You: Adorably nerdy guy, incredible hands. Me: Petite (younger) fashionista, completely enchanted. Madeout like teenagers in Starbucks parking lot before realizing patio full of people could see. I’d do it again without changing a thing! When: March 20. Where: Starbucks. #1602-0330

RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE You: Looking fine, dressed sharp in sweater vest for Bible study. Me: In church parking lot, to go to Firehouse; did triple-take when I saw you. You make this girl want to go back to church. When: Jan. 27. Where: Southside Baptist Church parking lot. #1591-0217

COME DELIVER PIZZA AGAIN! Me: Male in jeans, navy polo, bumbled over receipt. You: Male, delivered Pizza Hut to my door. I didn’t say much, but would’ve liked to! When: March 12. Where: My condo near The Avenues. #1601-0316 LISTENING PUNK ROCK IN TRUCK You: In blue/black truck, 8 p.m. When I came out, you turned radio up so I’d look; you flashed best grin. Sandy, maybe curly hair, bright eyes, that dang smile! Who ARE you? Gotta know. When: March 7. Where: Welcome Food Mart, St. Augustine. #1600-0316 TIJUANA FLATS DROPPED SODA SHERRY? You: Fletcher lacrosse sweatshirt; dropped soda, came back. Me: Waiting too patiently for table, talking to you while you waited for takeout. (Insert cheesy line here, preferably including queso.) Single? Let’s grab a drink. When: Feb. 23. Where: Hodges Tijuana Flats. #1599-0316 GANESH TATTOOED HOT BLONDE GODDESS With ball cap. Thanks for letting me take pic of adorable Ganesh on your beautiful arm! I was totally intrigued, want to connect over chai sometime. The pic got overwhelming likes on IG! When: Feb. 27. Where: SeaWalk Pavilion Jax Beach. #1598-0309 SCRUBS FROM ST. V @ PUBLIX We checked out at same time; you had St. V lanyard, pinenuts (or similar), yogurt and other things. Handsome! I was too shy to say anything; regret not speaking when I left parking lot. When: Feb. 18. Where: Publix Riverside. #1597-0224 LOVE THY NEIGHBOR Sharp-dressed man getting out of blue car to check mail. Me: Dark hair, blue eyes. Speechless at such a good-looking man in the complex. Your building’s somewhere in the 20s. Let’s do some neighborhood loving?! ;) When: Feb. 16. Where: Green Tree Place Apartments. #1596-0224 MY ANSWER IS YES You: Very shy. Me: Waiting by the phone. Please call again sometime; I really love your voice! I don’t have your number or I’d text you like I used to. That was fun, wasn’t it? When: Feb. 11. Where: Telephone line. #1595-0217 ENAMORADA DE TI... Cada vez que puedo me escapo y regreso a donde tu y yo nos vimos por primera vez. Tu: Alto, distinguido. Yo: Chiquita, ojos grandes. Tu tenias un Polo negro, con tu pelo canoso muy buena combinacion. Espero seguirte viendo para siempre. When: Hoy, manana, siempre. Where: En mis suenos. #1594-0217 42 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 20-26, 2016

YOU: THE FIRE First saw you at Fat Kat, September 2003. You: Most beautiful woman I’d ever seen; still most gorgeous woman I know, my heart’s desire. Cannot wait for our lips to reunite! I love you most! Love, M.P. When: 2003. Where: Fat Cat. #1590-0217 PRETTY SMILE SAW U TWICE You: Blonde, pretty smile; 4:30 p.m. Me: Black cowboy hat; cold outside. You smiled at me (think it was me) passing by. Passed again, smiling, caught off-guard. Love to get to know you! When: Jan. 23. Where: Publix@Southside/ Touchton. #1589-0217 HAD ME AT GO ’NOLES! Seminole/Armada games, losing beer pong, Pub subs, laughs, cheek kisses = last “first date” I want. You stole my heart; don’t want it back. The start of something sweet? Say you agree; stay forever! When: Oct. 3, ’15. Where: The Garage/ Baseball Grounds. #1587-0120 WATER AISLE You: Commented on water price; beautiful blond hair, jeans, sweater, very warm and kind. Me: Gray hair, blue eyes, shirt, jeans. We both drink coffee; would love to share a cup with you. When: Jan. 9, morning. Where: Walmart@foursquare/ U.S. 1 & Southside. #1586-0113 CHAMBLINS CHAMPION You had two enormous boxes of books. I held the door open for you. You: Blonde hair, glasses, great smile. Me: Tall, blonde. Would love to discuss literature sometime! When: Dec. 29. Where: Chamblins Uptown. #1585-0106 WELCOME TO ME! You: Tall, dress shirt, tie. I walked by to get your attention; you were on Bible app on phone. Please come back next Sunday, and I will try again. When: Jan. 3. Where: Moe’s @ Avenues. #1584-0106 NEED TLC You: Raven-haired nurse; funky glasses, chatting with co-worker. Me: Curiously smitten; backpack, sling; visiting pre-op over year ago, saw you eating fresh. We have some FB friends in common. Who are you? When: Oct. ’14 & now. Where: St. Vincent’s Subway/FB. #1583-0106 RIDE TOPLESS TOGETHER You: Sexy, dark, handsome, ballcap, BMW convertible. Me: Hot pink, caramel-covered sweetness, MB convertible. Pressed horn, blew a kiss. Like real one in woods? Know where I am. When: Dec. 26. Where: Leaving UNF Nature Trails. #1582-1230 JAX BEACH EARLY A.M. PHOTOS Enjoy sunrise near 34th Ave.; struck up conversation. Asked to take your photos. You: White shorts; got wet as waves caught you. Never gave you my card to send the pix. When: Sept. 28. Where: Jax Beach 34th Ave. S. #1581-1230

Eva Tiamat Medusa, 55, of the Phoenix area, has almost completed her journey (she calls it “transspecieism”) to become a “mythical beast” — like a dragon video-game character — through purposeful facial scarring, surgical implants and even removal of both ears. “Tiamat” was born Richard Hernandez before becoming female and now sports such features as reptilian-style skin “scales,” green-colored “whites” of the eyes, “horns” on her forehead and, of course, breasts. (However, she is perhaps so far satisfied with one part, as she is still a “pre-op” transsexual.)

GOVERNMENT IN ACTION

The Pentagon admitted recently that it has no way to know how many parts or devices are in its equipment inventory — except by going through its estimated 30 million contracts (on the textunsearchable electronic database) one by one. For a recent Freedom of Information request from a software developer (for the Pentagon’s number of “HotPlug” power-extenders for computers), it quoted a retrieval price of $660 million to cover 15 million hours of work.

WAIT, WHAT?

The most recent problem with the Defense Department’s prospective, ultra-modern F-35 fighter jet, revealed in March, is that its “radar control” sometimes malfunctions and that system updates will not be ready until 2020. In the interim, an Air Force official advised that, as a workaround, the radar could be turned off and then back on again (similar to restarting a glitchy computer). Michael Ford, 36, a U.S. Embassy staff member in London, was sentenced in March to 57 months in prison for having run a “sextortion” email scheme preying on young girls — from his heavily monitored embassy computer workstation, operating undetected for two years. (One workday last April, for example, he sent 800 emails from his desk “phishing” for gullible social media users.)

POLICE REPORT

Ms. Charli Jones Parker, a teacher and girls’ basketball coach at the Pickens Academy (Pickens County, Alabama) was arrested on March 28 and charged with having sex with an underage male student. Her husband, James Parker, a math

teacher and coach at Pickens, was arrested two days later and charged with having sex with an underage female former student. The district attorney said the incidents were unrelated and resulted from separate investigations.

INEQUALITY ON PARADE

The city council in Palo Alto, California, trying to retain some of its Silicon Valley non-millionaires, proposed a subsidy plan in March to help with steep housing costs. In a town where tiny homes sell for $2 million (and are immediately knocked down and rebuilt), subsidies will be available even to families earning $250,000 a year.

MOTHER’S LITTLE HELPER

In February, a family court in England reduced the child-support payments from hedge fund financier Christopher Rokos to the mother of his 7-year-old son from about $17,000 a month to about $11,300 — though that amount includes more than $1,200 a month for “wine” (perhaps, in case the kid is a handful).

TIMELY SINS

In March, Kingdom Church, in the south London district of Camberwell, was fined about $10,900 by the Southwark Council for its amplified music and incessant “loud preaching,” ritually performed “almost daily” around 3 a.m. A spokesperson said the timing was necessary because that’s when evil spirits are most likely to be present.

DOWNLOADS & UPLOADS

A new weight-loss device being tested in the U.S. (“AspireAssist”) is billed as a lessexpensive alternative to bariatric surgery, with the ability to evacuate up to 30 percent of recently eaten food from the stomach before digestion. A tube, through a port in the stomach, sucks (“aspirates”) the food. Researchers at HRL Laboratories in California, in a recent journal article, reported test subjects without airplane-pilot knowledge still performed flight simulations 33 percent better than a control group after the researchers uploaded electrical signals to certain pilotinghelpful areas of their brains. Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net


CLASSIFIEDS HELP WANTED

WICKED BARLEY BREWING COMPANY, A Jackonsville owned brewery and restaurant on Goodby’s Creek is accepting applications for: Bartenders, Servers, Sous Chef, Cooks, Greeter and Busser/runner. Past experience preferred. Please send resume or work history to info@ WickedBarley.Com (4/27/16) UPSCALE BARBERSHOP IN NEED OF TOP QUALITY PAID IN ADVANCE! Make $1000 A Week Mailing Brochures From Home! No Experience Required. Helping home workers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity. Start Immediately! www. TheIncomeHub.com (AAN CAN)(4/20/16)

FINANCIAL

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HEALTH

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AUTOS WANTED

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CAREER TRAINING

AIRLINE CAREERS begin here - Get started by training as FAA certified Aviation Technician. Financial aid for qualified students. Job placeent assistance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance 800-725-1563 (AAN CAN) (4/20/16)

HOUSING WANTED

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FOR SALE

KILL ROACHES - GUARANTEED! Buy Harris Roach Tablets with Lure. Odorless, Long Lasting. Available: Hardware Stores, The Home Depot, homedepot.com (AAN CAN)(5/2/16)

KILL BED BUGS & THEIR EGGS! Buy Harris Bed Bug Killers/KIT Complete Treatment System. Available: Hardware Stores, The Home Depot, homedepot.com (AAN CAN)(4/20/16) ELIMINATE CELLULITE and Inches in weeks! All natural. Odor free. Works for men or women. Free month supply on select packages. Order now! 844-244-7149. (M-F 9am8pm central) (AANCAN)(4/27/16)

ADOPTION

PREGNANT? THINKING OF ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families Nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. 866-413-6293. Void in Illinois/New Mexico/Indiana (AAN CAN)(4/27/16)

ADULT

PHONE Actress / Web CAM models from HOME. Must have good working phone, Great voice. For cam you must have good PC/Mac. Excellent pay. Flex Hrs. 18+ 1-800-403-7772 Lipservice.net (AAN CAN)(4/20/16)

APRIL 20-26, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 43


FREEWILL ASTROLOGY

FOLIO WEEKLY MAGAZINE CROSSWORD by DALE RATERMANN. Presented by

SAN MARCO 2044 SAN MARCO BLVD. 398-9741

ACROSS

1 Net payment 6 Overseas agreement 9 Past performers at Rock the Bridge 14 TV knife 15 Secret rival 16 Suns catcher’s position 17 Horse play 18 JAX destination 19 Girl’s name 20 Mormons, initially 22 Swear words 24 Cause of inflation? 25 Beliefs, informally 29 W’s bro 31 Sam and Tom, relatively speaking 33 Governor’s Mansion residents 35 Former ATP Tour’s No. 1 ranked player 37 “I don’t care if they do” 38 Soft rock 39 TV newsman Marvin 43 “Another Green World” musician 44 Beat decisively 47 Bugs’ voice 48 One doing the lord’s work? 50 Fuji Sushi noodle 51 Half a 45 53 Pointless 55 Aer ___ 56 “What if” feeling 1

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PONTE VEDRA

THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA

4

330 A1A NORTH 280-1202

59 61 62 63 65 67 69 71 76 77 78 79 80 81

SOUTHSIDE

AVONDALE 3617 ST. JOHNS AVE. 10300 SOUTHSIDE BLVD. 388-5406 394-1390 AVENUES MALL

TV inits. Uh-oh! Cain raiser Say “What?” To have and to hold Olympia artist Oyster Jam Music Festival mo. Cooking herb Ne plus ultra I-95 vehicle Ritz Theatre, e.g. Crab-like Hula hoop Produce some cliff notes

DOWN

1 Kind of trip 2 Bad place to have a leak, briefly 3 Hill worker 4 Yulee-to-St. Augustine dir. 5 Work from the Baseball Grounds mound 6 Too big for one’s britches 7 GM labor grp. 8 Crucifix inscription 9 Musical family name 10 Presidential monogram 11 Ear-related 12 Bill Nelson, once 13 Admiral’s pride 21 Bo’s Club spinners 23 Type of cap 5

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Solution to 4.13.16 Puzzle A P I H A E R R Y

L O U V R E

H G L E A O L S U M I T W D R A S I D

A L S E O C L A A I & R E N A C D I A S G E

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52Cone head? 54 In an orderly manner 55 Farah field 56 Oates Energy bill word 57 Bypass 58 Ex-Jags GM Smith and others 60 Welsh ___ 64 Last elected Florida Supreme Court justice 66 Mayport fleet folks 68 Opposite of fast 70 Cobbler’s cousin 72 The Matrix hero 73 Pol. label 74 Good name for an attorney 75 St. Johns River catch

25 Florida keys, e.g. 26 Part of an act 27 Daytona race car driver? 28 Office Park abbr. 30 Tale teller 32 Duval Co. Court judge’s asst. 34 HBO alternative 36 Portoferraio’s place 38 Cel block occupant 40 Hola Restaurant sidekick 41 Escorted, as to the penthouse 42 Link between God and you 45 Exams for future DAs 46 Diamond stat. 49 Needle dropper

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FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE (AGAIN!), BUTTERFLIES, BEESWAX, TOM ROBBINS & FRANZ KAFKA

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ARIES (March 21-April 19): “The writer should never be ashamed of staring,” said Aries writer Flannery O’Connor. “There is nothing that does not require his attention.” This is true for all Aries folks, not just writers among you. And the weeks ahead will be an important time to cultivate a piercing gaze that sees deeply and shrewdly. You will thrive to the degree that you notice details you might usually miss or deem unimportant. What you believe and think won’t be as important as what you perceive. Trust your eyes. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Ancient Greek geographer Pausanias told how famous poet Pindar got his start. One summer day, young Pindar decided to walk from his home in Thebes to a city 20 miles away. During his trek, he got tired and lay down to take a nap by the roadside. As he slept, bees swarmed around him and coated his lips with wax. He didn’t wake up until one bee stung him. For anyone else, this may have been a bother. But Pindar took it as an omen that he should become a lyric poet, a composer of honeyed verses. And that’s just what he did. I foresee you having an experience like Pindar’s soon. How you interpret it will be crucial. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “I measure the strength of a spirit by how much truth it can take,” said philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. Measured by that, your strength of spirit has been growing — and may be poised to reach an all-time high. In my estimation, you have an unusually expansive capacity to hold surprising, effervescent, catalytic truths. Do you dare invite these insights and revelations to pour toward you? I’ll be cheering, praying you’re brave enough to ask for as much as you can accommodate. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Göbekli Tepe was a monumental religious sanctuary built 11,600 years ago in the place we now call Turkey. Modern archaeologists are confounded by the skill and artistry with which its massive stone pillars were arranged and carved. According to conventional wisdom, humans of that era were primitive nomads who hunted animals and foraged for plants. So it’s hard to see how they could’ve constructed such an impressive structure 7,000 years before the Great Pyramid of Giza. In National Geographic, science journalist Charles C. Mann wrote, “Discovering that hunter-gatherers had constructed Göbekli Tepe was like finding that someone had built a 747 in a basement with an X-Acto knife.” In that spirit, I predict: In the months ahead, you accomplish a marvel that may have seemed beyond your capacity. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In myths and folklore, the ember is a symbol of coiledup power. The fire within is controlled. It provides warmth and glow even as its raw force is contained. There are no unruly flames. How much energy is stored? It’s a reservoir of untapped light, a promise of verve and radiance. Think more about the ember. According to my astrological omen-reading, it’s your core motif. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Uh-oh. Or maybe I should say “Hooray!” You’re slipping into a Raw Hearty Vivid Untamed Phase of your astrological cycle. The universe is nudging you toward high adventure, sweet intensity, and rigorous stimulation. If you choose to resist the nudges, odds are you’ll have more of an “uh-oh” experience. If you play along, “hooray!” is the likely outcome. To get in the proper mood, declare this: “I like to think that my bones are made from oak, my blood from a waterfall, and my heart from wild daisies.” (That’s from poet McKenzie Stauffer.)

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In many cultures, the butterfly is a symbol of transformation and rebirth. In its original state of caterpillar, it’s homely and slow-moving. After its resurrection time in the chrysalis, it’s a lithe and lovely creature capable of flight. The mythic meaning of the moth is different, though. Enchanted by flame, it’s driven toward the light risking burning its wings. So it’s a symbol of intense longing that may go too far. In the weeks ahead, your life could turn either way. You may even vacillate between being moth-like and butterflylike. What do you want? SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “I gladly abandon dreary tasks, rational scruples, reactive undertakings imposed by the world,” wrote Scorpio philosopher Roland Barthes. Why? For the sake of love, he said, even though he knew it might make him act like a lunatic as it freed up tremendous energy. Would you pursue a course like that in the next few weeks? In my astrological opinion, you’ve earned time off from the grind. You need a break from numbing procession of daily rhythms. Is there any captivating person, animal, adventure, or idea that might so thoroughly incite your imagination, you’d be open to acting like a lunatic? SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “Difficulties illuminate existence,” says novelist Tom Robbins, “but they must be fresh and of high quality.” Your assignment? Go out in search of the freshest and highest-quality difficulties you can find. You’re slipping into a magical phase of an astrological cycle when you’ll have exceptional skill at rounding up useful dilemmas and exciting riddles. Take advantage! Welcome the rich opportunity to outgrow and escape boring problems. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “When I grow up, I want to be a little boy,” wrote novelist Joseph Heller in his book Something Happened. You have cosmic permission to make a comparable declaration in the days ahead. You have poetic license and spiritual mandate to utter battle cries as often as the mood strikes. Feel free to embellish and improvise: “When I grow up, I want to be a riot girl with a brash attitude,” or “When I grow up, I want to be a beautiful playful monster with lots of toys and fascinating friends who constantly amaze me.” AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In one of his diaries, author Franz Kafka declared: “Life’s splendor forever lies in wait around each one of us in all of its fullness, but veiled from view, deep down, invisible, far off. It is there, though, not hostile, not reluctant, not deaf. If you summon it by the right word, by its right name, it will come.” I bring this to your attention because you have more power than usual to call forth a command performance of life’s hidden splendor. You can coax it to the surface and bid it to spill into your daily rhythm. Be magnificent as you invoke the magnificence. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I’ve got a controversial message. If you’re addicted to your problems or if you’re convinced cynicism is a supreme mark of intelligence, what I say may be offensive. Still, it’s my duty as your oracle to tell of cosmic tendencies. For the sake of your mental health and the future of your relationship with love, consider that this counsel from French author André Gide is what you need to hear now: “Know that joy is rarer, more difficult, and more beautiful than sadness. Once you make this all-important discovery, you must embrace joy as a moral obligation.”

Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com


APRIL 20-26, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 45


46 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 20-26, 2016


FOLIO VOICES : BACKPAGE EDITORIAL

IMPROPER ADDRESS

Resident of the 32233 sounds off on proposed ADDRESS CHANGE from Atlantic Beach to Jacksonville THE CITY OF ATLANTIC BEACH HAS DECIDED that those who have a 32233 ZIP code, but do not reside within the Atlantic Beach city limits, should be forced to change our addresses from Atlantic Beach to Jacksonville. They claim they did this because they were tired of having to respond to phone calls from us requesting police or fire services and/ or requesting building permits and having to direct us to the city of Jacksonville, which actually provides these services to us. On Aug. 10, 2015, the city of Atlantic Beach passed Resolution No. 15-07, which states: A resolution of the City of Atlantic Beach, Florida supporting a ZIP code boundary review by the United States Postal Service to change the last line of the address from Atlantic Beach to Jacksonville for properties which are not within the City of Atlantic Beach. This request to the Post Office is interesting, because the city of Atlantic Beach did not have any legal standing to make such a request, since only those who actually want to have their address changed by the Post Office have that right — imagine that. But instead of asking the affected residents if they were OK with being forced to change their addresses, the city of Atlantic Beach and Bill Gulliford, Jacksonville City Councilman for the affected residents, decided to bypass the residents and instead convince the Jacksonville City Council to pass an equivalent resolution approving the city of Atlantic Beach’s request for an address change by the U.S. Postal Service. The city of Atlantic Beach received a letter dated March 11, 2016 from the official decision-maker, David F. Martin, the District Manager of the Gulf Atlantic District of the United States Postal Service. The letter stated:

Reference is made to the City of Atlantic Beach Resolution 15-07 requesting a ZIP Code Boundary Review between the City of Atlantic Beach and Jacksonville. I am pleased to report that the request has been approved to change the City Name portion of the last line of the mailing addresses from Atlantic Beach, FL 32233 to Jacksonville, FL 32233 for properties which are not within the city limits of Atlantic Beach. We expect the change to be effective May 1, 2016. On April 1, 2016, the affected residents received a letter from the Post Office that stated our official address would be changed from Atlantic Beach to Jacksonville effective May 1, 2016 and advised us that we needed to change all our correspondence. Unfortunately, this was not an April Fool’s joke. We are being asked to incur a cost — to both our pocketbooks and our time — in order to change all our correspondence and official documents (i.e., driver’s license, credit cards statements, bank and mortgage statements, business cards and stationery, and business advertisements, etc.) Apparently, both the city of Atlantic Beach and the U.S. Postal Service believe they have the power to force the unwashed masses not residing within Atlantic Beach city limits to stop sullying the good name of Atlantic Beach by using it as their address, without even asking the unwashed masses if they agree. But not so fast. According to the U.S. Postal Service’s June 23, 2006 guidance document, “Changing Postal ZIP Code Boundaries,” the rulebook for making such changes: If the request is feasible, the process then requires a formal survey of all the customers who would be affected by the proposed change. This is an important step, because it might reveal that the

proponent group was an activist minority and most customers would prefer not to notify their correspondents, change their magazine subscriptions, replace their stationary … or perhaps to identify with a different “community identity.” A simple majority of the survey respondents is adequate for approval. Funny, no one seems to recall receiving any survey from the Post Office inquiring whether we approved of this change of address. Apparently, the United States Postal Service doesn’t believe it has to follow its own rules. Weird. Maybe we should ask the Atlantic Beach Post Office and the person who made the ultimate decision, District Manager David F. Martin, about this. Oh, and should a survey arrive in the mail sometime before May 1, 2016, might I suggest you return the survey with an answer of NO, because the Post Office seems to think it’s a foregone conclusion that 50 percent plus one will say YES to the proposed address change, as they have already informed us they plan on implementing the change effective May 1, 2016. By the way, did I mention that the city of Atlantic Beach discussed this matter at the July 27, 2015 City Commission meeting? However, it was not discussed at the actual meeting, but AFTER the meeting was adjourned, per the minutes. Thus, the public was not invited to hear this discussion. At the next meeting on Aug. 10, 2015, Resolution 15-07 was passed after the meeting was recessed and later reconvened, presumably after the public went home. How convenient. The resolution was passed unanimously in a five-to-zero vote by former Mayor Carolyn Woods, Mayor Pro Temp Mark Beckenbach and Commissioners Jonathan Daugherty, Jimmy Hill and Maria Mark. Oh, and both the City Manager Nelson Van Liere and the City Attorney Richard Komando were also in attendance at both meetings. And don’t forget the role of Gulliford, the Jacksonville City Councilman for both the city of Atlantic Beach and the affected residents, who represented the city of Atlantic Beach by presenting Resolution 15-07 to the Jacksonville City Council on Sept. 8, 2015, which resulted in Resolution 2015-641 from the Jacksonville City Council supporting Atlantic Beach’s request for an address change. However, Gulliford conveniently missed the Oct. 13, 2015 City Council meeting where Resolution 2015-641 was voted on and passed. Odd that Gulliford never informed any affected residents of Atlantic Beach, who are also his constituents, of these decisions by either the city of Atlantic Beach or the Jacksonville City Council. I sense a storm coming for the individuals who worked so hard to keep this entire sordid episode from being discovered by those affected by their decisions. Maybe we should all let them know how we feel about this by calling them to voice our opinions. Maybe when their phones are melting down from all the calls protesting this injustice, they’ll finally understand that we, the unwashed masses, should be the ones to decide whether or not we want to change our addresses and not those who believe themselves to be our overlords. We should also probably remember those who were responsible for this fiasco the next time these individuals are up for reelection. Mark your calendars now. Steve Hanson mail@folioweekly.com _____________________________________ Hanson is a concerned citizen who lives in Atlantic Beach (aka Jacksonville).

APRIL 20-26, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 47



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