06/22/16 Truth, Justice OR the Angela Corey Way

2 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 22-28, 2016

JUNE 22-28, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 3

THIS WEEK // 6.22-28.16 // VOL. 29 ISSUE 12 COVER R STORY

TRUTH, JUSTICE OR THE

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ANGELA COREY

WAY

Did the State Attorney SUPPRESS EXCULPATORY EVIDENCE in dozens of homicide cases? story by CLAIRE

GOFORTH

FEATURED ARTICLES FEATURED

OUT OF BOUNDS

[10]

GETTING A HEAD START

BY MATTHEW B. SHAW Jacksonville City Councilman floats downtown SKATEBOARD BAN and local skate community flips out.

[19]

BY MATTTHEW B. SHAW With local premiere, Green Carpet Film Series LOOKS TO LOCALIZE global environmental crises.

FISH TALE

[20]

BY DAN HUDAK Predictable plot aside, fans of Finding Nemo will DIVE RIGHT IN to this much anticipated sequel.

COLUMNS + CALENDARS FROM THE EDITOR OUR PICKS MAIL/B&B FIGHTIN’ WORDS NEWS FILM

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FROM THE EDITOR

PRIMARILYDISENFRANCHISED

Florida Supreme COURT TO DECIDE if 96 percent of local African-Americans will be able to vote in State Attorney race KENNY LEIGH’S WRITE-IN CANDIDACY WAS the filing heard round the region. When news broke that the State Attorney Angela Corey’s then-campaign manager, Andrew Pantinakis, who has since resigned from her campaign, had not only helped Leigh fill out the paperwork, but also personally filed it on Leigh’s behalf, people were appalled. When the Florida Times-Union reported that Leigh said, “I am absolutely an Angela Corey supporter,” they lost their ever-loving minds. Scads of angry phone calls and emails to reporters, politicians and, one imagines, the candidates themselves, ensued.

Closing the primary means that no Democrats, Independents or voters with no party affiliation can cast a ballot in the election that will determine who becomes the chief prosecutor for Duval, Clay and Nassau counties for the next four years.

The only work around for non-Republican voters to be heard in this race is to change their political affiliation to Republican by Aug. 1. And why not? It’s not like there are any contested Democratic primaries. Oh, wait, there is a pretty important contested primary in Congressional District Five between incumbent Congresswoman Corrine Brown and challenger Al Lawson? Well, other than Democratic voters in that district, surely there’s no Independents, NPAs or Democrats who can’t even bear the thought of spending one second as a registered Republican – nor any dyed-blue-in-the-womb locals whose ancestors who would roll over in their graves to discover their progeny had ever been a ‘comma R.’ Scratch that, there’s at least one.

The news that closing the primary effectively kills the African-American vote in this race because 96 percent of local AfricanAmericans are registered Democrats had pundits far and wide claiming Corey and Public Defender Matt Shirk, whose primary was closed by write-in candidate Roland Falcon, a man whose candidacy is possibly even more laughable than Leigh’s, were intentionally disenfranchising minorities.

I disagree. I think their primary goal was staying in office; stifling the minority vote was purely collateral damage. But I’m an optimist.

On May 24, civil rights attorneys Bill Sheppard and Sam Jacobson filed suit on behalf of four voters against Leigh, Pantinakis and the Duval County Supervisor of Elections, seeking to have the primary reopened on the grounds that Leigh’s candidacy was a sham intended to disenfranchise the more than 400,000 voters in the circuit who are not registered Republicans.

On June 17, the court granted Leigh’s motion to dismiss the case. Sheppard and Jacobsen are now appealing to the Florida

Supreme Court. It’s a long shot at best, but it’s the only alternative aside from convincing Leigh to withdraw his candidacy

by Friday, June 24, which, given how many times he’s doubled down, seems about as likely as dragging an honest answer out of Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi about the $25,000 donation she solicited – and received – from Donald Trump during the breathtakingly brief time period in which she was considering a fraud investigation of Trump University.

It bears mention that some are unclear as to why, when the previous judge in the case, Circuit Judge James H. Daniel, recused himself after Leigh whined that he was biased against him, Chief Judge Mark Moran appointed retired Clay County court judge Richard R. Townsend to hear the case. Indeed, it is rather odd that out of the 34 circuit court judges currently sitting the bench, Mahon pulled one out of the junior varsity bleachers to quarterback the big game.

Let us not forget that this is the same Judge Mahon who briefly became a legal laughingstock last summer when he issued a sweeping, blatantly unconstitutional administrative order banning all but “legitimate” media from covering public court proceedings and similarly put the kibosh on protests on courthouse grounds that “degrade or call into question the integrity of the court or any of its judges.” After a couple of weeks of not being allowed to sit at the cool-judges’ table, Mahon withdrew the order.

Still, perhaps his judgment on constitutional matters like this one is somewhat suspect.

But what does this all mean? Just that politics in Northeast Florida are poisonous, ugly, and pretty much entirely controlled by the rich and powerful who are so accustomed to winning that it’s a merely an inconvenience for them to swat away anyone, even the incomparable Sheppard, champion of the oppressed, who gets in their way. Which makes us just like any other city, really.

I’m not feeling particularly optimistic any more, are you?

But there is something you can do. Call, write, text, tweet, Facebook and bother the pants off your state representatives to change Florida to the kind of open primary state where people can vote in either primary regardless of write-in candidacies and voter affiliation. It wouldn’t help Democrats in the Fifth Congressional District, but at least it would stop some candidates from abusing the write-in system to keep themselves in office, simultaneously disenfranchising voters and eroding the public’s faith in our election system.

Claire Goforth claire@folioweekly.com JUNE 22-28, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5

BEAT ON THE BRAT RICHIE RAMONE

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25

Former Ramones drummer Richie Ramone was credited with saving the band during the mid-’80s by none other than frontman Joey Ramone – strong praise, indeed. Since leaving the NYC protean punks, Ramone (born Richard Reinhardt) has stayed busy with music, playing with the B-52’s Fred Schneider, the Gobshites and composing a classical piece titled Suite for Drums and Orchestra for the Pasadena Pops. Now that’s what we call versatility, punker. 8 p.m. Saturday, June 25 with Electric Water, Teenage Lobotomy, and Sandpaper Briefs, Burro Bar, Downtown, $10 advance; $15 day of, ticketfly.com.

OUR PICKS FAB FABLES INTO THE WOODS Local stage troupe of up-and-coming thespians Apex Theatre

THU

presents Stephen Sondheim’s comical, fairy tale-based musical, Into the Woods. Over the course of the Tony Award-winning play, Brothers Grimm characters Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood and Rapunzel are faced with the crisis of surviving “happily ever after,” while posing meaningful questions about contentment. The cast features 16 college and high school students, and the production boasts the involvement of area theater heavyweights Ian Mairs and Matt Morgan. Into the Woods is a must-see and 10 years from now, you can annoy people with how you “saw them way back when” while chugging back Zima and inhaling nachos at your aggravated friend’s house while watching the Tony Awards. 8 p.m. Friday, June 24 and 2 and 8 p.m. Saturday, June 25, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, $25; $20 seniors/students, pvconcerthall.com.

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FRI

24

REASONS TO LEAVE THE HOUSE THIS WEEK

FULLY SHREDDED CARL VERHEYEN GROUP

Guitarist Carl Verheyen might not be a household name, but in the world of guitarists, he is a revered picker. Adept at both electric and acoustic guitar, for more than 30 years Verheyen has provided sixstring chops for Supertramp, while also being a session ace for everyone from the Bee Gees to Cher. Verheyen is also an in-demand instructor and has been a regular contributor to Guitar World. 7:30 p.m.

Thursday, June 23, Mudville Music Room, St. Nicholas, $20, raylewispresents.com.

POP TART

JUSTIN BIEBER

The world loves a conqueror.

Mankind’s lore is inked with the blood spilled from empires toppled asunder.

In 320-ish BC, Alexander the Great first introduced “impact branding” to the Eastern lands. In 800 AD, Emperor Charlemagne houses the Middle Ages so hard that Steely Dan names a song after him. While at the cusp of this century, Ken Jennings demoralizes and spiritually depants an ashenfaced Alex Trebek, winning 74 rounds of Jeopardy! in a row. And now we watch the holiest ascendant of the New Aeon of Vapid Entertainment, the Conquering Child of Pout, Justin Bieber, as he flicks his twerking foes and selfie-tweeting peers aside like so many pieces of trembling offal.

Justin Bieber performs at 7:30 p.m. Wednesday, June 29, Veterans Memorial Arena, Downtown, $50-$126, ticketmaster.com.

6 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 22-28, 2016

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25 WED

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A SHOE IN JACKSONVILLE DANCE THEATRE High-caliber dance and contemporary choreography are sure to be a-foot at the upcoming fourth annual repertory concert by the 14-member Jacksonville Dance Theatre troupe. The performance features a newly commissioned work by James Morrow, along with works by JDT members Rebecca Levy and Tiffany Santerio, as well as pieces by nationally recognized choreographers Emily Cargill, Bliss Kohlmyer, and Mikey Rioux. 8 p.m. Saturday, June 25, The Florida Theatre, Downtown, $28.50-$38.50, floridatheatre.com.

JUNE 22-28, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7

THE MAIL

FOLIO VOICES : FIGHTIN’ WORDS

photo by Ben Weaver

VICTIM BLAMING

RE: “The Color of Justice,” by Claire Goforth, June OF THE 65 PERCENT OF THE BLACK PEOPLE killed by police, did you bother to research how many had guns, knives, tried to grab an officers gun, tried to hit an officer with their car, etc. In other words, how many of those 65 percent put the officer’s life or the community in danger?

You can’t just throw out a number like that without the backstory of why they were killed.

Lee Weintraub via email

AN ATTACK OF ASSUMPTIONS

RE: “This Bleeding Heart,” by Claire Goforth, June IT WAS STATED, “SURELY, WE CAN AGREE THAT those who slaughter innocents in the name of religion are not faithful to any dogma, Muslim, Christian, or otherwise.” This is incorrect.

The Orlando slaughter of 49 was not just a random murder, but an Islamic terrorist attack in accordance with the Islamic Quran: Muslims are guaranteed to go to heaven if they kill nonMuslims. (Quran 9:111) Muslims must strike terror into non-Muslims hearts. (Quran 8:60).

After 9-11, after over 200 Muslim attacks in the past few years, after Paris, after London, after the California murders, the India hotel massacre, our various embassy attacks around the world, all in the name of Islam, it is clear that these ARE committed in the name of their religion, albeit not a majority of Islam, a couple of hundred of millions is not a tiny portion of the 1.2 billion Muslims, world-wide.

Of course not all Muslims are terrorists, but the small percentage who are certainly deserve to be

identified as a threat to world peace. The Orlando murder, a Muslim (albeit an American citizen), professed his allegiance to ISIS and not the USA, and admitted before the attack that the murders of infidels were justified. Further, all homosexuals are to be targeted in the latest Jihad, from the religion of hate and intolerance – specifically listed in the Quran as such. In his own words to the police he said this was in the following of the Quran.

As a married man, totally straight, I feel it is intolerance of the Islamic world that is the problem, not any degree of concern about the millions (though a small percentage) of Muslims who hate gays, democracy, women’s rights, freedoms, and anyone who is a non-Muslim. Not all Muslims are terrorists; many are decent, freedom-loving followers of selected peaceful portions of their faith. However, almost all terrorists have been Muslims. California murders, Fort Hood murders, 9/11 murders, Paris, Belgium, and a lengthy list – all Muslims who admit to follow their religion.

Don Spencer via email Editor’s note: We were unable to find any legitimate scholarly source that confirmed the text of the quoted verses of the Quran.

THE PERSUASIVE POWER OF THE PEN

RE: “Love is Love,” by AG Gancarski, June 8 AG’S COLUMN, “LOVE IS LOVE,” IS THE MOST poignant and beautiful he has ever written. Let’s hope it’s equally as persuasive.

John Ragsdale via email

LEND YOUR VOICE If you’d like to respond to something you read in the pages of Folio Weekly Magazine, please send an email (with your name, address, and phone number for verification purposes only) to mail@folioweekly.com, visit us at folioweekly.com, or follow us on Twitter or Facebook (@folioweekly) and join the conversation.

BRICKBATS + BOUQUETS BRICKBATS TO LENNY CURRY AND JAX CITY COUNCIL Following the tragic mass shooting at popular gay club, Pulse Orlando, Jacksonville Mayor Curry and the city council separately expressed condolences for those affected, the former in a statement, the latter in a symbolic ordinance. What’s wrong with that? Neither made even a scant mention of LGBT people.

BOUQUETS TO KUHN FLOWERS Proof that good business is not exclusive of acts of kindness, Kuhn Flowers – which provides flowers for FWM bouquet recipients – designed and donated 49 wreaths to the families of the victims of the Pulse Orlando shooting. Kuhn, working with its sister store, Katherine’s Florist in Clermont, created individual wreaths for each victim at no cost to the families.

BRICKBATS TO KEN ADKINS As FWM reported last week, Adkins wrote several horrifying, insensitive tweets about the Pulse Orlando shooting.

One tweet, sent the day after the shooting, said, “Dear Gays, Go sit down somewhere. I know y’all want some special attention; yall are Sinners who need Jesus. This was an attack on America. [sic]” Sick.

DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? HOW ABOUT A BRICKBAT? Send submissions to mail@folioweekly.com; 50 word maximum, concerning a person, place, or topic of local interest.

8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 22-28, 2016

The case for POLICE BODY CAMS and civilian review boards

WHO WATCHES THE

WATCHERS? A COUPLE OF YEARS BACK, THE WORLD heard of Ferguson, Missouri.

You remember the story: A guy stole some cigars from a convenience store, roughed up a clerk, then got into it with a cop, who ended up shooting him until he died.

Some say he was surrendering as he walked toward the cop, hands up, approaching him; some say that he still posed a threat.

That divergence in narrative, in interpretation, made all the difference.

Riots for a week. Violence. Looting.

Lawlessness. Tear gas and riot shields. People picked sides. The flash point for a clash of cultures came when one dude decided he wanted to roll some blunts, and things escalated from there.

It didn’t take much.

Because it was so close to the surface.

How close is it to the surface here and now?

Consider the Vernell Bing Jr. killing last month.

Some facts are indisputable. Bing had a record. He was driving a stolen car at breakneck speed through a residential neighborhood. He hit a cop car head on. He staggered out. And got gunned down.

The FBI? Looking into it, another indictment on Jacksonville’s ability to handle its own business, in no small part because a significant portion of the population feels targeted by law enforcement, feels commodified by an educational system, a social welfare system, and a legal system that values them more as chips toward contract fulfillment at private prisons than people with agency and rights.

We can pretend that’s not the case. We can pretend that we don’t have the biggest prison population in the world. And we can pretend that those prisons don’t make money. And we can pretend that money isn’t made by stuffing the prisons wall-to-wall with black men from the South.

But the truth is that justice is still different in the old Jim Crow South than it is in other places.

Yet it’s pretty similar to Ferguson.

At Jacksonville City Council last Tuesday, we saw local activists Diallo-Sekou and Rev. R. L. Gundy filibuster public comment, arguing for civilian review boards, body cameras, and a cut of the pension tax for NW Jax. It was a long public comment, complete with a couple of minutes of men standing silent, arms locked in protest.

It was a demonstration of solidarity, a demonstration that people are sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Jacksonville dealt with protests during the spring of 2015 after the police-involved shooting of Devanta Jones.

I met Sekou at the protests at Cleveland Arms. As he walked me through the

complex, he described the shooting of Jones as an example of “generational and systemic” targeting.

What would have happened since 2015 to change his mind? If one sees a pattern in police shootings of civilians, it boils down to a victim who has learned that he has nothing to lose, and a cop who has no problem with icing his adversary.

Jacksonville law enforcement was overstretched in 2015. It’s still overstretched in 2016. They’ve got old, busted-up equipment: buggy computers, TASERs at the end of usefulness, aircraft from the Vietnam era that they can’t even give away. And they have a lot of people working a lot of long hours, who might be more prone to make a controversial decision, like shooting a guy in the middle of the street or at an apartment complex.

Sekou, Gundy, and most every community leader in NW Jacksonville wants a civilian review board. This was an issue in the 2015 campaign, and both guys in the runoff campaign for sheriff demurred from making that call. As does, more currently, the Fraternal Order of Police, which told the Daily Record, “A civilian review board … holds no standing beyond an additional opinion that can be manipulated for political purposes.”

And “a civilian review board, if misused, would only serve to create more divisiveness.”

It’s better, clearly, to have the JSO and the State Attorney’s Office walk hand-in-hand.

It’s great to have good working relationships as long as you believe in the organization’s ability to police itself. Which many in this city don’t.

We are a poor city and getting poorer.

From Windy Hill to Pickettville. From Soutel and Moncrief to 103rd Street. There are Third World pockets of poverty. Overstretched cops, compelled to maintain the simulacrum of a collapsed social order. People who don’t trust JSO, don’t trust the SAO, and live in a war zone. They feel like they’ve been lied to for 65 years. They won’t have a pension. They may struggle to keep the lights on.

And that’s why they yearn for civilian review boards, for body cameras, for accountability.

The divergence in narrative, in interpretation, makes all the difference.

Jacksonville is going to have to adopt meaningful accountability reforms now. There will be another Vernell Bing Jr. There will be another Devanta Jones. And the difference between Ferguson and the maintenance of social order may well be reforms that give citizens bargaining parity with those who stand guard over them.

AG Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com Twitter/AGGancarski

JUNE 22-28, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9

FOLIO COMMUNITY : NEWS

OUT OF BOUNDS Mike Peterson, co-owner of The Block Skate Supply

10 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 22-28, 2016

ON JUNE 1, THE INTERNATIONAL OLYMPIC Committee’s executive board voted unanimously to add skateboarding to the 2020 Summer Olympics in Tokyo. Though the committee still has to approve the proposal, the fact that skateboarding has been accepted by the IOC has rendered the phrase “Skateboarding is not a Crime” – once ubiquitous in urban centers as a sticker, T-shirt, and graffiti tag – superfluous.

But just because skateboarding has been embraced by the IOC doesn’t necessarily mean the city of Jacksonville’s legislative body is ready to do the same. Just two days before the IOC’s unanimous vote, on May 30, News4Jax reported that Councilman Bill Gulliford (R-District 13) was proposing legislation to ban skateboarding in the city’s urban core. Citing a number of times he’s been approached by “people who feel at risk by some skateboarders downtown,” Gulliford told News4Jax he supported a fine because “maybe that would make people think before doing stupid things.”

It’s safe to assume that, apart from saying he prefers Ryan Sheckler to Tony Alva, Gulliford could not have chosen a better way to get under the skin of the local skate community.

For decades, skateboarders have been coming to Jacksonville’s urban core, which is full of the kinds of concrete structures that provide the obstacles and transitions that skaters love to ride. In recent years the area in and around the core has played host to two relatively large-scale events on National Go Skate Day each June. The Go Skate Day events – one of which in recent years took place in Hemming Plaza, the other under the Fuller Warren Bridge, where it was held again this year – bring hundreds of skateboarders downtown.

Thanks to the X-Games, Tony Hawk, and a multi million-dollar apparel industry, skateboarding is much more mainstream than it once was. Locally, several publicly funded skateboard parks have popped up in the last decade, virtually all of which are occupied on any given evening by generations of skateboarders – fathers, mothers, children and even grandchildren. And soon there will be two skateparks in Gulliford’s own district, which made the councilman’s floating such a proposal seem even more out of touch.

Jacksonville City Councilman floats downtown SKATEBOARD BAN and local skate community flips out Growing up in Jacksonville, local pro skater Mike Peterson remembers catching the bus from Regency Square Mall to spend a few hours skating Downtown’s urban terrain.

“That was thirty years ago,” he says. “There have been skaters down there for as long as I can remember.”

Peterson, who now co-owns The Block Skate Supply, a skateboard equipment and apparel shop located in Riverside, says he thinks Gulliford’s proposal likely came from an antiquated view of skateboarding and skateboarders.

“I think he was just going off of the old thing about skateboarders being a public nuisance.”

Peterson says that forward thinking politicians across the country have recognized the benefits skateboarders bring. He points to the impact public skateparks have had on blighted areas in cities like Portland, San Diego, and New York.

“The research shows that cities that invest in public places for people to skate reap rewards,” Peterson says. “The crime rates go down, the revenue for local business go up around the parks.”

Peterson’s business partner, James Smith, argues that a ban would put the city at odds with movements nationwide aimed at making cities more pedestrian friendly.

“There are just so many people in Councilman Gulliford’s camp who don’t understand how healthy and how good skating is for a city and how innovative and creative skaters are.”

Peterson and Smith said they intend to reach out to Gulliford about his proposal.

Meanwhile, after the News4Jax article, the councilman’s proposal was blasted on social media and Gulliford endured a few personal attacks.

By June 6 the Councilman had pulled his support for an outright ban and asked for the legislation to be rewritten, telling Folio Weekly Magazine, “I understand that you can’t ban skateboards from the entire downtown area.”

Gulliford says the proposed ban was intended to “start a conversation” about ways to prevent damage to public property, specifically the currently-under-renovation Jacksonville City Hall.

Though he says he has not personally seen damage to public property reportedly caused by skateboarders, Gulliford told FWM that he had been told by “members of the administration” that such damage exists.

“We are spending thousands of dollars to upgrade the entryway [to the City Hall] and it just doesn’t make any sense not to try and protect it,” Gulliford says.

The councilman says he was surprised by the blowback he received after floating the ban.

“A lot of people don’t understand the process,” Gulliford says. “We [the city council] put things out there to try and start a community discussion. That doesn’t necessarily mean that’s where you’re going to end up.”

Gulliford says the conversation surrounding skateboarding downtown has begun moving in a more positive direction.

“Some of the more reasonable skateboarders have pointed out that there really isn’t any place for them to skateboard in the downtown area,” the councilman says.

Gulliford said he’s been sent pictures of public skateparks built in the urban areas of other cities. “I’m certainly amenable to investigating how our city could invest in something like that,” Gulliford says. “People have to have someplace to go.”

Asked if there was money in Jacksonville’s cash-strapped budget for a public skate park, Gulliford is optimistic.

“There is something like $75,000 of parks and recreation money given to each councilperson’s district. And we could at least put [a skatepark] on the list for capital improvements,” he says.

For now, the bill that would (maybe) ban skateboarding downtown has been deferred until it can be amended and rewritten, Gulliford says. What that bill will look like, however, is still unclear.

“I want to end up with something that will protect public property, but also allow skateboarders to have all the latitude they possibly can,” Gulliford says. “And maybe, after all this, we get a recreational place for skateboarders in the downtown.”

Matthew B. Shaw mail@folioweekly.com

JUNE 22-28, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11

Did the State Attorney

COVER UP EVIDENCE that could free convicted killers?

TRUTH, JUSTICE

OR THE

ANGELA

COREY WAY

S

tate Attorney Angela Corey may have suppressed evidence that could overturn dozens of homicide convictions - or more.

Dr. Margarita Arruza, former chief medical examiner of the local office, which covers Clay, Columbia, Duval, Hamilton and Nassau counties, retired at the end of 2010. Doctors from the Medical Examiner’s Office routinely testify to the content of reports made by colleagues who are unavailable, so it did not seem out of the ordinary when Arruza did not testify in subsequent trials.

CONTINUED NEXT PAGE >>>

12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 22-28, 2016

JUNE 22-28, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 13

ANGELACOREY <<< FROM PREVIOUS According to numerous sources, a handful of courthouse insiders – including Corey, two of her key deputies and a defense attorney and his firm – knew the truth: The reason for Arruza’s retirement was a diagnosis of early onset Alzheimer’s disease.

Attorney Patrick McGuinness said that he noticed that something was terribly wrong with Arruza at a deposition on September 1, 2010.

“I took a deposition with her in a child homicide case where it was clear she wasn’t in her right mind and I sent it to some other medical examiners who were shocked.”

McGuinness provided Folio Weekly Magazine a transcript of that deposition. In it Arruza – testifying to the content of her autopsy report, which she has in front of her – answers some questions, others she answers incorrectly even when assisted with locating the information in the file; in 13 instances, Arruza doesn’t respond to direct questions.

Asked whether the skull was fractured in the parietal, occipital, sphenoid, or mastoid process, she responds, “Well, it looks like it’s a skull.”

Following this response, the prosecutor requests an off-the-record discussion with the defense. Afterward, McGuinness continues questioning Arruza with much the same results. At one point Dr. Arruza says, “I feel like an idiot today.”

Following another recess requested by the prosecutor, McGuinness states that they don’t have time to finish and have agreed to end the deposition early. The transcript states that the deposition began at 3:51 p.m. and concluded at 4:36 p.m.

He said Arruza was “very distressed” and her conduct that day was in such contrast to her usual professionalism that he was concerned she was having a mini-stroke or drug reaction.

“I voiced my concerns to the state [attorney’s office],” McGuinness said.

A month later Arruza was still on the job.

Former prosecutor Wes White, a candidate for state attorney, said that he noticed that the ME was having severe memory problems in October 2010 when he questioned her to prepare for a case he was prosecuting. He said Arruza seemed confused and couldn’t answer basic questions about the case. He scheduled a second round of questioning in front of Corey, his boss at the time, which was also attended by assistant state attorney John Guy, who has since been appointed to a circuit court judgeship.

“I conducted the examination of Arruza in front of Angela Corey to demonstrate Arruza’s unfitness to testify,” White said.

He said that during this questioning, Arruza again couldn’t recall basic information about the case or herself, including where she attended school. After the questioning concluded, he says Arruza left, but returned several minutes later, saying she didn’t remember where her car was parked.

White said that, “to her credit,” after Arruza left Corey was sympathetic, even sorrowful, and she assured him she would inform all defense counsels of the ME’s incapacity to testify. (By this time, White says Guy was no longer in the room.)

“Angela Corey told me specifically that all disclosures would be made to opposing counsel.”

White said he worked out a plea deal in his case and informed the defense. “I fulfilled my constitutional obligation and

14 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 22-28, 2016

“You need to direct all inquiries regarding DR. ARRUZA to the City of Jacksonville.”

— ANGELA COREY’S SPOKSEPERSON

made the disclosures required by law.”

Richard Kuritz, opposing counsel in that case, confirmed that White informed him of Arruza’s condition.

It appears that Corey did just the opposite: She buried it.

White provided FWM with the following email from Guy to 18 assistant state attorneys, including White, on which Corey is copied, dated January 7, 2011: Effective January 1, 2011, Dr. Arruza has retired from the Medical Examiner’s Office. Ms. Corey has appointed Dr. Valorie [sic] Rao as the acting Chief Medical Examiner for our District. A substitute medical examiner will be needed to testify for Dr. Arruza in the future. Please advise anyone in your area that is affected by this news.

Thank you, John Guy said he didn’t recall who asked him to send the email. “My supervisor would have been Angela Corey,” Judge Guy said.

Guy did acknowledge that he knew Arruza was suffering from “some dementia” but said he did not recall when or how he became aware of it.

“I do remember that I was not aware of it until it was like it was a real issue.”

In an email to SAO spokesperson Jackelyn Barnard, FWM asked if Corey would like to comment on the email. Barnard responded, “The email speaks for itself.”

FWM also asked Barnard when Corey became aware of Arruza’s condition, what steps were taken to ensure she sought medical help, and whether and how the prosecution disclosed Arruza’s condition to the defense in cases in which she had performed autopsies. Barnard responded, “You need to direct all inquiries regarding Dr. Arruza to the City of Jacksonville.”

The City of Jacksonville confirmed that Arruza’s last day of employment with the Medical Examiner’s Office was December 31, 2010. As to the reasons for her retirement, the city could not comment. The city has no purview over the SAO’s caseload.

Published phone numbers listed to Margarita Arruza are disconnected; none of the numerous sources FWM asked had any knowledge of how to reach her.

Dr. Nilufer Ertekin-Taner, a neurologist and neurogeneticist at Mayo Clinic who treats dementia patients and leads a laboratory focused on Alzheimer’s disease, said that symptoms and disease progression vary from patient to patient and it is not possible to

26, 2010. In 2012 First Coast News reported that Arruza’s successor, Dr. Valerie Rao, sent an email to the city complaining that when she took over in November 2010, she found malpractice, including incomplete files and other violations.

First Coast News quoted Dr. Rao as writing, “There are hundreds of reports from previous physicians that have not been done in the past.”

“[Angela Corey] has INVADED THE PROVINCE of the judge, jury and justice system.”

— CNN LEGAL ANALYST MARK O’MARA

make a diagnosis based on symptoms alone.

She said common symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease, a type of dementia, include loss of memory, the predominant symptom, which may cause difficulties recalling names, performing routine tasks and navigating.

Alzheimer’s progression varies, but it usually worsens slowly.

Some dementia patients may not realize they have symptoms.

“Early on in the course, the patient may be aware, but it is their loved ones that will be more aware … later on, the patient may not be aware,” Dr. Ertekin-Taner said.

According to records from the ME, Arruza performed her last autopsy on September

“That is absolutely true,” Dr. Rao told FWM of the deficiencies in the ME’s office when she took over.

When informed that several sources had said Arruza retired due to Alzheimer’s disease, Rao became extremely agitated. “I don’t want to get into it because I have nothing to say about medical conditions of other people,” Dr. Rao said. Rao, who has worked for the ME’s office for a decade, also said that she did not notice any odd behavior from Arruza in the months prior to her retirement.

Rao, who is not an attorney, expressed doubt that the state would have been required to inform defendants in the event that her predecessor was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.

Every single attorney FWM spoke to for this story disagreed.

WHO NEEDS TO KNOW?

IN CRIMINAL CASES, THE LAW REQUIRES the prosecution to turn over all evidence that is material to the guilt or innocence of the defendant. In Brady v. Maryland, the U.S. Supreme Court specifically ruled that the prosecution must turn over all evidence or information that is favorable to the accused.

The mental incapacity of a witness is one such category of evidence.

Appellate attorney Rick Sichta said that proving violations of the Brady rule requires two elements: 1) evidence was withheld by the state or the medical examiner, either intentionally or negligently; and 2) the information was material to the case or could have been used as impeachment.

“If the ME is determining cause of death for homicide … then that decisionmaking process ought to be fully vetted with knowledge that the person may have been suffering from dementia or Alzheimer’s,” Public Defender Matt Shirk said. Shirk noted that the duty to inform defense rests with the prosecution, not the ME’s office.

Sichta agreed that the mental incapacity of a potential witness, such as the medical examiner who performed the victim’s autopsy, is one type of exculpatory evidence that the state is bound to disclose under the Brady rule.

“The state has an ongoing Brady obligation under the rules of discovery to list, that means writing, any issue that provides Brady material,” Sichta said. “… It would have to apply to every case that Arruza worked on.”

Records obtained by FWM show that Arruza performed 54 autopsies from January 3, 2009 to September 26, 2010. (Her condition may be relevant to more – or fewer – cases; courts would decide on a case-by-case basis.)

At least 25 resulted in convictions. One defendant, Cecil King, is on death row.

FWM asked attorney Rhonda PeoplesWaters, whose client Andre Bonner was convicted of the manslaughter of Gina S. Mangram, whose autopsy Arruza performed on June 13, 2009, if she was aware of the medical examiner’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis.

“Absolutely not,” she said.

Peoples-Waters said that not only were prosecutors under an ethical obligation to inform the defense of such, she believes that some defendants may be able to successfully file what is informally known as a “3850,” a petition for post-conviction relief based on ineffectiveness of counsel under Rule 3.850 of the Florida Rules of Criminal Procedure. “It’s basically saying that because of the ineffectiveness of their counsel, [their outcome would have been different],” she said.

“And it can be filed not just against defense counsel, it can be filed against the prosecutor.”

“I’m certain that many defendants will be able to put forth that claim,” she said.

Attorney Shelley Lynne Thibodeau, whose client Damon V. Williams was convicted of the murder of Andre Moore, whose autopsy Arruza performed on April 12, 2010, said she knew Arruza’s retirement “was medical but not that it was Alzheimer’s.”

Thibodeau also said that she has had concerns about the SAO’s compliance with rules of discovery.

“I’m glad someone is looking into discovery issues with the state attorney,” she said.

Attorney Francis Jerome “Jerry” Shea, whose client DeShawn Leon Green was separately convicted of the murders of Robert Lee Kearney and Bryan James Clemons, whose autopsies Arruza performed on March 12, 2009 and April 23, 2009, respectively, said, “No, I was never informed

CONTINUED NEXT PAGE >>>

“I took a deposition with [Dr. Arruza] in a child homicide case where it was clear she wasn’t in her right mind and I sent it to some other medical examiners who were shocked.” — Patrick McGuinness JUNE 22-28, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15

ANGELACOREY <<< FROM PREVIOUS [of Arruza’s condition] … I don’t know what her condition was.”

Shirk, whose office represented eight defendants convicted of various degrees of murder in cases in which Arruza performed autopsies on the victims in 2009-2010, said the state never informed his office of her condition.

“We just heard about it,” Shirk said.

A PATTERN OF DISCOVERY VIOLATIONS

THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME THE STATE attorney has been accused of violating the rules of discovery. Numerous sources said that her office has a pattern of withholding evidence.

CNN legal analyst Mark O’Mara, who successfully defended George Zimmerman for the murder of Trayvon Martin in 2013, said that Corey, who was appointed special prosecutor on the case by Florida Governor Rick Scott, flagrantly disregarded the law in that case.

“There were a number of discovery violations perpetrated by Corey,” O’Mara said.

O’Mara, a former prosecutor himself, said he’s never seen another prosecutor so notorious for withholding evidence. “She’s the pinnacle … She’s in a class by herself in that she has a pattern and practice of discovery violations,” he said, adding, “… That’s only one of her Medusa heads.”

O’Mara specifically mentioned Corey’s reputation for holding grudges and carrying out vendettas. Ben Kruidbos, a former information technology officer with her office, testified about Corey’s discovery violations in the Zimmerman case - photographic evidence and cell phone records that were not turned over to the defense as required. Five weeks later, on the day closing arguments concluded, he was fired. Kruidbos sued for wrongful termination; in a responsive pleading, Corey claimed that his firing was justified because he’d “violated critical job duties, engaged in egregious conduct and exposed the public to risk of serious harm” and, further, that he “owed a duty of loyalty to [the] state attorney.”

State Attorneys are essentially immune from bar complaints during their terms of office, but O’Mara said that he believes there should be “an open investigation against her.”

“She has invaded the province of the judge, jury and justice system,” O’Mara said.

Shirk mentioned the Jerome Hayes’ case as another example of Corey’s office suppressing exculpatory evidence. Hayes was arrested for three counts of armed robbery and held for 589 days before being released on October 17, 2014, in spite of prosecutors obtaining evidence within weeks of his arrest that his brother, not he,

CONTINUED NEXT PAGE >>> AT TOP: “If somebody ends up being acquitted … you’ve got somebody potentially who was incarcerated that shouldn’t have been.”

— Public Defender Matt Shirk AT RIGHT: “Angela Corey told me specifically that all disclosures would be made to opposing counsel.” — Wes White 16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 22-28, 2016

JUNE 22-28, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17

had committed the crimes and, further, that Hayes had alibis for two of the crimes, evidence which it did not turn over to the defense until much later.

“In that particular case we felt so strongly about it that we filed bar complaints against the attorneys involved from the State Attorney’s Office because it was either intentional or it was so reckless that you couldn’t tell the difference,” Shirk said.

The Florida Bar ultimately dismissed the complaints against ASAs Erin Wolfson and Peter Overstreet but with some harsh words of caution for Wolfson, to whom the Florida Times-Union reports it wrote of its concern “that you failed to provide an item of discovery as required under law.”

Numerous criminal defense attorneys said that Corey’s office routinely violates discovery law.

“It is a systemic problem … it permeates through all prosecutions,” Shirk said.

“Angela wants to win under all circumstances, all cases regardless of the merits … that’s a real danger to the integrity of the justice system,” Sichta said.

Some believe that Corey’s pattern of discovery violations goes back decades.

The June 3 episode of Dateline, “Rear Window,” looked into the 1998 murder of Corey Parker. In 2005, Robert Denney was convicted of stabbing the 25-year-old more than 100 times. Denney has consistently maintained his innocence in the case, which was prosecuted by Corey when she was an assistant state attorney.

Sichta, who is representing Denney on his appeal, said the episode left out key information that has come to light since

the trial. Sichta said that the state failed to disclose that someone else – one of the original suspects – confessed to his wife that he, not Denney, murdered Parker, and that the state had conducted secret DNA tests on evidence without informing the defense. “[There is] a film with Angela Corey on it talking about the confession,” Sichta said.

McGuinness, who defended Denney, confirmed that he was not informed of the second confession during the course of his representation.

Former Public Defender Bill White said that Corey essentially railroaded the wife of the man who confessed to Parker’s murder.

“Dateline didn’t mention the fact that his wife was interviewed and Angela basically did a Star Chamber with her, brought her in with several witnesses and just hammered her,”

White said. “… The state just bowled over her and said, ‘This is nothing.’”

Corey, through her spokesperson, vehemently, and quickly, denied any wrongdoing, writing via email, “Your sources are absolutely and unequivocally wrong and motivated by something other than the truth. There was never a confession. The State went above and beyond in this case even to the point of testing [the suspect’s*] DNA after the conversation with his estranged wife, [omitted*], in 2011.” Corey said the DNA evidence proved the suspect was not involved with the murder.

Sichta said he has sent a list of questions to Dateline asking why they did not include portions of his and Denney’s interviews in which each separately discusses the second confession and the secret DNA tests. Denney’s case has been reopened.

WHAT’S NEXT FOR THE CONVICTED KILLERS

IT IS POSSIBLE THAT ALL OF THE CONVICTIONS in which Arruza autopsied the victims in her last years of practice will be reopened. Plea deals may be invalidated, convictions overturned.

In the last two years two years she was in office, Arruza autopsied victims whose deaths led to 25 homicide convictions, 24 in Corey’s jurisdiction, one in Columbia County. (Columbia County Public Defender Blair Payne said that he was not informed of Arruza’s medical condition in the course of his representation of Rodney Copeland, which Corey’s office may have also had a duty to disclose.) FWM attempted to contact every attorney in those cases (with the exception of James Nolan, who is deceased) and left detailed messages informing them of Arruza’s condition.

Only one of the attorneys FWM spoke with said they were informed of Arruza’s condition by the state: Kuritz, who was informed by Wes White.

Kuritz did not recall if the state informed him of her condition during his subsequent defense of Demarcus Johnson in Duval County.

If prosecutors had informed defense counsel of Arruza’s condition, the defense may have questioned her autopsy reports, such as by seeking an independent expert witness or cross-examining the ME who testified to Arruza’s findings. In cases where the cause of death was undeniable, it likely would not have had much, if any, effect on the outcome. But it’s impossible to know for sure how it would have affected cases. Now the courts may have to decide whether suppressing such would have made an impact on the case.

Shirk said that his office will probably file motions to vacate convictions on behalf of all eight defendants – Eduardo Junior Reeves, John Leon Collins, Thomas Lester Jr., Malcolm Thrower, Nesta Walker, Deangelo Thomas, Oshane Lawson and Clyde Arline – in whose cases Arruza performed autopsies on the victims in her last years as the ME. It is possible that the litigation will cost taxpayers millions.

“Just the time involved with our representation is going to be significant. Then you add the entire court system involved. And then if somebody ends up being acquitted … you’ve got somebody potentially who was incarcerated that shouldn’t have been.”

FWM asked numerous attorneys whether they were surprised to learn Angela Corey may have suppressed evidence.

“Nothing surprises me any longer with that administration,” Shirk said.

Claire Goforth claire@folioweekly.com _____________________________________ * FWM’s policy precludes publishing names of individuals accused of being involved with crimes who have not been contacted for comment.

18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 22-28, 2016

FOLIO A + E

GETTING A

HEAD START

L

ess than 30 seconds into Racing Extinction, we find the film’s director/star/narrator, Louie Psihoyos, inside what appears to be a surveillance van, after which quick cuts of shaky, grainy footage — immediately recognizable as hidden camera footage — help set a mood of tension, verging on panic.

Psihoyos is well-versed in this kind of suspense. Plots of espionage abound in the Academy Award-winning documentary The Cove, which Psihoyos directed, as the narrative moves forward in a manner not unlike a fictional spy thriller. Psihoyos’ follow-up, Racing Extinction — which has been described as an eco-thriller — unfolds in a similar way, with the launching and executing of hastily organized operations, sprinkled between informative vignettes of

FILM Finding Dory ARTS Bob Moore MUSIC LPT LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CALENDAR

PG. 20 PG. 24 PG. 26 PG. 27

With local premiere, Green Carpet Film Series LOOKS TO LOCALIZE global environmental crises

expert talking heads and gorgeous cinematography of threatened and endangered species.

However, unlike The Cove where the filmmakers crosshairs are narrowly focused on dolphin hunting operations of Taiji, Wakayama, Japan, Racing Extinction is broadly interested in a number of threats, from overfishing to pollution to global climate change. All of these things, according to Psihoyos (who started his illustrious career shooting wildlife photography for National Geographic) and his wellcredentialed team of experts, are conspiring to cause the sixth mass-extinction event in the history of Earth.

It’s heavy stuff. And the dire portrait painted by the film — 40 percent of all phytoplankton (which produce 50 percent of the planet’s oxygen) have disappeared in the last 50 years, the planet’s extinction rate has increased 1,000 times beyond its normal average, man-made carbon

emissions are putting the planet on pace for another mass extinction event — is bound to succeed early and often in scaring the shit out of viewers. All of it — the tension, the doom saying — has the potential to be overwhelming and repellent. Psihoyos understands this predicament and intersperses the films anxious and hopeless moments with gorgeous footage of exotic creatures (many of them seafaring) and small success stories, like when his team triumphantly exposes a trendy, yet whaleserving, L.A. sushi joint.

Racing Extinction, which didn’t earn an Oscar, but did receive a respectable 83 percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes, screens at Corazon Cinema & Café in St. Augustine on June 23, as part of the U.S. Green Building Council of Florida’s Green Carpet Film Series. According to Sarah Boren, director of policy and programming at USBCG Florida, the film was chosen because of its potential to foster dialogue.

“We had a group of volunteers vet all the films. [The films] are all really powerful and well done,” Boren says of the six environmentally conscious documentaries chosen for this year’s series. It won’t be just a screening. According to Baron, one of the main goals of the series is to initiate conversation surrounding the messages or problems presented by the films. “What we want to do is break them down to a local level, so that’s where our panel of

experts comes in.”

After the screening of Racing Extinction, the audience will hear from a panel that includes Erin Handy, the Florida Climate and Energy Campaign Director for Oceana, the largest international advocacy organization focused solely on ocean conservation. Attendees will also have a chance to ask questions and find out how they can get involved with local efforts to curb some of the negative impacts discussed in the film.

Now in its fourth year, the Green Carpet Film Series has partnered with four Northeast Florida venues (The Museum of Science and History, St. Augustine Amphitheatre, Corazon Cinema and Café, and Ponte Vedra Concert Hall) and the nonprofit center in the Jesse Ball DuPont building, where they’ll premiere six films, all of which are focused on environmental issues.

With a mission to promote sustainability-focused practices in the building and construction industry, USBCG uses the film screenings as an outreach tool for its Florida chapter. “We focus our efforts on buildings because 60 percent of all energy usage happens inside and 40 percent of all carbon emissions come from buildings,” Boren says. “But, being a professional group focused on green building, our mission often comes off as too technical. The films help us gather like-minded people, experts, and interested citizens and get our message out there.”

Matthew B. Shaw mail@folioweekly.com

RACING TO EXTINCTION

Screens at 6 p.m. June 23, The Corazon Cinema & Café, St. Augustine, $10; $7 students. A panel discussion follows corazoncinemaandcafe.com.

The Green Carpet Film Series continues through Aug. 25; for a full list of screenings, go to usgbcnf.org/greencarpet.

JUNE 22-28, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 19

FOLIO A+E : FILM

FISH TALE

Predictable plot aside, fans of Finding Nemo will DIVE RIGHT IN to this much-anticipated sequel

F

missing a tentacle), able to camouflage into his or years, Finding Dory was a sequel that surroundings at a moment’s notice to remain wasn’t going to happen. Then inspiration inconspicuous. Pixar animators called Hank struck director Andrew Stanton, and the the hardest character they’ve ever worked on, result is a movie that maybe shouldn’t have and given the many changes he happened after all. This is a sweet, makes to blend in, and the way he occasionally funny, and sometimes FINDING DORY moves, it’s easy to see why. tedious sequel to Pixar Animation’s **G@ Finding Dory is far from a 2003 breakout hit Finding Nemo; Rated PG total bust, and clearly — clearly you will enter with great excitement — this isn’t just a selfish cash grab and exit with mild disappointment. like many sequels are. It doesn’t even set up Everyone’s favorite blue tang fish, Dory for a third movie, and considering the avarice (Ellen DeGeneres), misses her parents. The that governs Hollywood, that deserves credit. film opens with young Dory (Sloane Murray) If only it was actually better on its own. and her lovingly patient parents (Eugene You want it to be good, and you may Levy, Diane Keaton) as they try to teach her lie to yourself and think it’s higher quality how to always get back home to their reef. than it actually is. It’s enjoyable, but needed Being the forgetful fish that she is, Dory loses to be better. them anyway.

Dan Hudak Flip to present day: She lives a cozy life with mail@folioweekly.com Marlin (Albert Brooks) and Nemo (Hayden Rolence), but can’t shake the desire to find her long-lost parents. This takes her, Marlin and Nemo on an adventure to the Marine Life Institute, where she thinks she last saw her folks. Numerous newfound friends assist in her SUN-RAY CINEMA It’s So Easy and Other Lies screens quest, including octopus Hank (Ed O’Neil), June 22. The Lobster and Sunset Song run through June whale shark Destiny (Kaitlin Olson), beluga 23. Finding Dory is now running at 1028 Park St., 5 whale Bailey (Ty Burrell), and two sea lions — Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. Independence Day: Resurgence opens June 24.

Fluke (Idris Elba) and Rudder (Dominic West).

Stanton’s screenplay is episodic; it sends THE CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ The Green Carpet Dory on a seemingly endless journey that Film Series screens Racing Extinction 6 p.m. June 23. she sometimes forgets why she’s questing — Hello, My Name is Doris and The Invitation are now running at 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 679-5736, meaning we can’t trust what she thinks or says. corazoncinemaandcafe.com. Rams opens on June 24.

Therefore, as Dory, Marlin and Nemo move Cartoons run 11:30 a.m. every Sat. Game of Thrones, from one detour to the next, it doesn’t feel like 9 p.m. every Sun. Trivia is 7:30 p.m. every Wed. they’re moving forward or getting any closer IMAX THEATER National Parks Adventure 3D, A Beautiful to Dory’s parents. Every obstacle they could Planet 3D, Secret Ocean 3D and Warcraft: An IMAX 3D possibly face, they do; as a result, the ending Experience are screening at World Golf Village Hall of Fame is arbitrary and anticlimactic — it’s necessary Theater, St. Augustine, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com.

Jax4Kids presents engineer and educator Gabe Gabriel at a and inevitable rather than earned and organic. special screening of A Beautiful Planet at 9 a.m. June 25.

Children may not notice this, but it’ll be painfully obvious to parents trying to keep the ST. AUGUSTINE AMPHITHEATRE The Green Hands kids interested.

Sustainability Fest, with local non-profit groups, food trucks, live music, and a screening of documentary Still, the animation is superb, especially Tapped (8 p.m.) kicks off 4 p.m. June 25, at 1340 A1A S., in 3D — the water flows around the fish 209-0367, staugustineamphitheatre.com. with almost surreal calm, always a bit darker and murkier than the more crisp and clear PONTE VEDRA CONCERT HALL The Green Hands Sustainability Soiree features a wine and cheese fresh air. The detail on the animals is also reception, live music, and screening of Tapped at 4 p.m. impressive, especially on Hank, who’s a June 26, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., mimic octopus (actually a septopus — he’s 209-0399, pvconcerthall.com.

FILM LISTINGS

20 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 22-28, 2016

FOLIO A+E : MAGIC LANTERNS We take a “liking” to VIKING CINEMA

HAMMER

OF THE

I

’ve got Vikings on the brain, but not because of the current History Channel series in which I have yet to indulge myself. My current obsession comes by way of reflection and anticipation, the first spurred by the recent Blu-ray release of the 1958 epic The Vikings and the latter by The Neon Demon, Danish director Nicholas Winding Refn’s controversial entry at this year’s Cannes Festival due in theaters later this month.

Though The Neon Demon has nothing to do with marauding Norsemen (it’s about the L.A. fashion world, with a horror twist), the numerous outraged reviews (like “The Neon Demon’s jaw-dropping depravity leaves Cannes reeling” and “The Neon Demon is a twisted ride of sex, blood, and necrophilia,” to quote a few) reminded me of my own introduction to Refn’s unique cinematic vision, 2009’s Valhalla Rising.

(The writer-director would become better known to American audiences in 2011 with Drive starring Ryan Gosling).

Set some time in the 11th century, the film is divided into six parts, with titles like “Wrath,” “Hell,” and “The Sacrifice.” The main character is a fierce, scarred-and-tattooed Viking warrior known only as One-Eye (the inimitable Mads Mikkelsen). Imprisoned by his captors in the wilds of the Scottish highlands, One-Eye is pitted in one kind of gladiatorial fight after another before escaping and wreaking a bloody revenge. That’s Part One, the conflicts and characters supported only by a minimum of dialogue.

One-Eye himself never speaks at any time throughout the film. Afflicted or blessed with visions of the future (conveyed in bloodred images), he pursues an unknown quest, accompanied by a young boy who seems to voice his thoughts. Eventually linking up with a small band of would-be crusaders seeking war, booty, and salvation in the Holy Land, One-Eye and the boy finally land (after a long journey through unknown waters) at a very different place from Jerusalem.

Spectacular photography and graphic violence combine in Valhalla Rising with an oblique narrative that plays like a combination of Werner Herzog’s Aguirre, the Wrath of God and Terrence Malick’s The New World.

Both dreamlike and nightmarish and always enigmatic, the movie’s themes similarly explore Christian fanaticism and Norse stoicism. It’s simply impossible not to see OneEye as a kind of embodiment of the one-eyed warrior god Odin, who was also a traveler and seeker of wisdom.

GODS

Certainly unconventional, Valhalla Rising is equally memorable and perplexing.

Mikkelsen, already a star in his native country, would go onto international recognition in films like Casino Royale, The Salvation, and TV’s Hannibal. He will next be seen opposite Benedict Cumberbatch in Marvel’s Doctor Strange, which is good news indeed.

Meanwhile, Refn’s The Neon Demon is on the near horizon.

Apart from its titular characters and time setting, nothing could be further removed from Valhalla Rising in style, narrative, and theme than 1958’s The Vikings. Starring Kirk Douglas and Tony Curtis as warring stepbrothers Einar and Eric, both sired by the lusty Viking warlord Ragnar (Ernest Borgnine), director Richard Fleischer’s action film is straightforward ’50s Hollywood— blustering, extravagant, and (particularly in hindsight) just a little campy.

That is not to disparage the film’s considerable accomplishments. First and foremost is the cinematography by Jack Cardiff (Oscar winner for Black Narcissus) bolstered by the film’s impressive production design — everything from the Viking ships to the still-impressive storming of the castle that concludes the film. Douglas (doubling as producer) creates a suitably complex villain, while Curtis (playing opposite his thenwife Janet Leigh) more than suffices as the straightforward hero.

Both male stars were in their heyday at the time. Over the preceding two years, Douglas had starred in Lust for Life, Gunfight at the O.K. Corral, and Paths of Glory, with Spartacus only two years in the future. Tony Curtis could claim The Sweet Smell of Success the year before The Vikings with The Defiant Ones, Some Like It Hot, and, yes, Spartacus coming next.

Apart from the terrific final battle, the violence in The Vikings, deemed excessive for its time, occurs mostly off-screen, as Douglas loses an eye, Curtis a hand, and Borgnine getting torn apart by a pack of dogs. The utter subservience of the women to the lustful men is definitely not politically correct these days, but is supported by the film’s themes and setting.

The movie’s only real weaknesses are some loose plotting and the more than occasional corny dialogue.

Whether you like your Vikings traditional or unconventional, one or both of these movies should whet, if not satisfy, your appetite.

Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com JUNE 22-28, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 21

FOLIO A+E : LET THERE BE LIT Poet RAEJEANA BROOKS delivers prose with painful, haunting honesty

RADICALTENDERNESS T

22 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 22-28, 2016

hough the first syllable of her name is pronounced like “rage,” RaeJeana Brooks says the guiding principle in her life and writing is “radical tenderness.”

Recently highlighted at a University of North Florida reading and published in UNF’s Talon Review (talonreview.wordpress.com/2016/02/29/ strawberry-feels-raejeana-brooks/), Brooks is at the forefront of a new generation of UNF writers.

At a bistro table outside Chamblin’s Uptown, Brooks’ enthusiasm for experience and its expression seems nearly tangible. The painful honesty of her work, dealing with subjects like suicide and venereal disease, strangely fits her warmth and friendliness.

In the prose poem “Strawberry Feels,” Brooks writes, “The first time I ever thought of jumping was from the ledge of a pink staircase.”

She writes of falling “in love with gravity,” with “the way it tugged at my shins from the top of that ledge like my mother pulling off my tights after dance practice and neatly folding them away.

The world was always doing things for people.”

So, “I wanted it to fold me away.”

Brooks sees this kind of radical honesty as necessary. She wants to hide from nothing. She incorporates this worldview in every aspect of her life, including her friendships.

“I want my friends to know it’s OK to feel they need to feel and be able to say it.” She exercises a constant acceptance of those she loves.

I ask her if her writing is confessionalism, a label that’s been applied mostly to poets, most famously Sylvia Plath, Anne Sexton, and Sharon Olds.

She thinks so, but doesn’t want to be categorized. Her writing is also truth and reconciliation, an acceptance of being human, not despite, but including human flaws.

Brooks believes “in repurposing vulnerability as communion” and whoever you are, “she wants to eat with you.”

UNF has been a literary laboratory for Jacksonville for years. From Mark Ari’s creative writing workshops came the journals Fiction Fix (fictionfix.net), founded 15 years ago and still going strong, and Perversion Magazine, which formed from a cadre of young UNF writers, including Hurley Winkler, Carl Rosen, and Sam Bilheimer.

Talon Revue is an online journal of student writing, edited by students. It too grew from Ari’s workshops, and though it’s not quite four years old, its list of former editors includes several exciting young Jacksonville writers.

Outgoing editor Georgie Fernandez Salzer chose RaeJeana Brooks to represent the journal at a recent UNF showcase of Northeast Florida literary publications and endeavors.

Brooks read a creative nonfiction piece called “Rituals” that’s like a to-do list for

staying sane when your world falls apart.

“Open your blinds in the night time,” she begins. “Remember how your affection made their dishonesty sound like nervousness” and “Think of the last smell that placed you in a memory.”

Then “Rituals” reveals its crisis. “Think of the first time someone made a herpes joke around you and how it was never funny, but how now, it was really not funny.”

After nine more imperatives beginning with the word “Remember,” including, “Remember all the sad dicks you saw in health class,” comes a moment of truth on a first date. “‘I’m about to tell you something that will probably make me interesting but will also potentially make you want to date me less and I’ve never really done this before but I’m just gonna come right out with it: I have herpes’ and how your date looked at you and smiled before replying ‘And? I have a cold.’

Remember how you laughed together.”

Brooks has written since she was a little girl, but two years ago, she went through a major heartbreak and deep depression. Her anhedonia left her unable to get out of bed, or out of her apartment.

“I’d written before because I wanted to write,” she says. “This was the first time I had to write.”

Her depression and seclusion affected her social life and school performance, but she started to blog a “coping journal,” with which she pulled herself back into the world.

She reemerged with “radical tenderness” and confessionalist glasnost. Expressing the fullness of living in the world requires a brave enthusiasm for every aspect of life.

Brooks’ prose poem in stages, “A•lone•ly,” described as “a visual lexicon of severance, acceptance, and belonging, ferociously, to the self,” illustrated with her photography of local male models, now appears at raejeana.com.

Her newest raejeana.com project is called “What I’m Trying to Say to You.” Each entry consists of one photographic portrait and one confession the subject found difficult to make.

It’s a hybrid of The Bell Jar and Humans of New York.

One caption reads, “I covered your sins with my body and my blackness and yet without my proximity who are you?”

The end of “Rituals” seems most appropriate to this project, as well as advice she’d give each of us for daily living: “Pass a hotel and count the windows with the lights on. Pretend that each light is a story and that each of them is leading a life as full and complex and painful and joyous as your own, then remember that it’s true.”

Tim Gilmore mail@folioweekly.com

JUNE 22-28, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23

FOLIO A+E : ARTS

A PERSON OF

Northeast Florida composer Bob Moore CONTINUES TO CREATE an impressive and varied body of work

NOTE W

ith more than 300 original pieces in his catalog, composer Bob Moore surely embodies the word “prolific.”

Numbers aside, Moore isn’t composing in a crazed, hermetically sealed world of sheet music and Finale software updates, writing works that will never be heard outside of his studio. On the contrary, Moore’s pieces have premiered as far afield as Lincoln Center and Argentina. On the local tip, Moore is the co-founder and composer in residence for the St. Augustine Music Festival (SAMF), the largest free classical music festival in the country. In honor of the festival’s 10th year anniversary, a 24-piece ensemble performs the world premier of Moore’s La Década for Organ, Strings and Timpani this Saturday, June 25 at the Cathedral Basilica of St. Augustine.

And while this concert is an estimable achievement, Moore’s past and ongoing musical activities make him a veritable local treasure, albeit one who is woefully on the edge of the spotlight. Arguably, the general public could be intimidated by anything tied in to “classical” music. Combining that apprehension with Moore’s refreshing indifference to being a Northeast Florida arts celeb, and his unwavering discipline to what he describes as his “craft,” and the 53-yearold composer comes across as a kind of blue-collar Bach, indifferent to being carried aloft by hosannas or attaboys from the local cultural cognoscenti.

24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 22-28, 2016

Renowned for writing choral and instrumental pieces with an emphasis on sacred works, Moore is also adept at penning solo piano, chamber ensembles, band, and orchestral pieces. On the educational level, Moore has given private lessons and taught in public and private schools; his original pieces have been published by over a half dozen music imprints, including Hal Leonard Corporation and GIA Publications. In recent years, Moore and percussionist/educator Tony Steve have been providing a live soundtrack to silent film classics, such as 1922’s Nosferatu. As the trio De Profundis, Moore and Steve are joined by multi-reedsman Joe Yorio in performing what they describe as “sacred jazz” and world music.

Moore is currently the director of music for the Episcopal Church of Our Saviour, where his tasks range from selecting the hymns to making sure the pipe organ stays in tune.

Folio Weekly Magazine composed a few Q&As and sent them to Moore via email; what follows is a transcription of our exchange.

Folio Weekly Magazine: How would you describe your latest piece, La Década?

Bob Moore: La Década was commissioned to celebrate the 10th anniversary of the St. Augustine Music Festival. I was the music director for the Cathedral Basilica (where it is held) at the time and was instrumental in getting (SAMF artistic director) Jorge Peña in the door. Jorge was gracious in acknowledging my role with this commission. I’d describe it as

the pattern of laying out a rough structure (choral music is easier, because the words often determine the form), generating a few ideas to develop, and then slowly filling in the blanks.

I’m curious as to how you might guide the listener through a narrative. Do you use any kind of timbral colorization, syncopations, or other melodic/harmonic devices, etc. to carry the audience along?

Two things come to mind: Firstly, I structured this utilizing what is known in the biz as “arch form.” A solo viola (a nod to the artistic director) states the first theme (melody), which is transformed into the next section, which in turn leads to a middle section the top of the arch and then the whole thing is reversed. Sections aren’t repeated literally, but you could still use a graphic of the Gateway Arch in St. Louis to diagram La Década. Secondly, within this structure, those opening few bars played by the solo viola are the basis for all of the music that follows… more or less.

a piece of classical chamber music, in that all of the instrumental components are on equal footing, performing without a conductor.

It seems like there is an inherent, at times immense, power to classical music. I think it’s beyond the amount of actual symphonic performers playing any given piece but rather the, for lack of a better descriptor, “tonal language” of the music. Do you ever feel any difficulties in harnessing that energy, the proverbial lightning in a bottle?

I take it back to the concept of being a craftsman. I wish I could be more mystical about it. Sure, I struggle from time to time with my materials, and the results certainly vary. I’m limited to my skill set and imagination, like all artists. I do believe that Western classical music (and also real jazz) is the summit of all musical expression (I get that this is a little Eurocentric). Don’t get me wrong; I enjoy the occasional Top 40 ditty with my craft beer. But classical music is to pop music as Shakespeare is to Mad TV.

What compelled you to use this particular instrumentation of organ, strings, and timpani for La Década?

The festival’s chamber music repertoire typically features string instruments, and I thought that the Cathedral’s role in the festival’s success could You write a fair amount of be acknowledged by sacred music. When you the use of the excellent St. Augustine Music are writing a religious or Cassavant pipe organ.

Festival presents: spiritual piece, do you feel The instrumentation THE PREMIERE OF as if that influence becomes is identical to that of LA DÉCADA BY BOB MOORE 7:30 p.m. June 25, Cathedral Basilica a de facto guidance?

(Francis) Poulenc’s of St. Augustine; includes pieces by I actually have strong Organ Concerto, and Wagner, Copland, and Tchaikovsky feelings about this. I never the opportunist in me staugustinemusicfestival.org attribute the results of imagined that somewhere my creative work to the down the line La Década influence of a higher power. could be programmed along side of Poulenc’s masterpiece… so, I have encountered many composers and it’s conceived as a companion piece of a sort. songwriters who too easily throw out lines I’m especially excited that Tim Tuller, the like, “the Holy Spirit gave me this song.” I find canon for music at St. John’s Cathedral, will this kind of thinking to be extremely arrogant. be the organist.

I view my work as craft. I don’t work with a hammer or a paintbrush, but I utilize my tools Could you give me a sense of your actual all the same. I guess I believe in a spiritual compositional process? Does it vary or do non-interference. Does that align me with you feel like over the decades you’ve created a Aquinas? Calvin? At the end of the day, I’m kind of formalized strategy? not about to blame my music on God. The process depends a bit on what kind of Daniel A. Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com piece I’m working on, but usually it follows

ARTS + EVENTS PERFORMANCE

JACKSONVILLE DANCE THEATRE The 14-member local dance troupe presents its fourth annual repertory concert, with works

by James Morrow, Rebecca Levy, Tiffany Santerio, Emily Cargill, Bliss Kohlmyer, and Mikey Rioux, 8 p.m. June 25, The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $28.50$38.50, floridatheatre.com.

INTO THE WOODS Local stage troupe of up-and-coming thespians Apex Theatre – 16 college and high school students – stages Stephen Sondheim’s fairytale-inspired musical comedy, 8 p.m. June 24; 2 and 8 p.m. June 25, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., 209-0399, $25; $20 seniors/ students, pvconcerthall.com.

MEGAN PIPHUS Musical ventriloquist Piphus (America’s Got Talent, The Oprah Winfrey Show, The Tonight Show with Jay Leno) performs, noon June 25, Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 807-2010, $10, ritzjacksonville.com.

THE LITTLE MERMAID Theatre Jacksonville’s enchanting tale of young Ariel’s aquatic adventures, 7:30 p.m. June 23, 8 p.m.

June 24 & 25; 2 p.m. June 26, 2032 San Marco Blvd., 3964425, $25; $20 seniors/military/students, theatrejax.com.

BEAUTY & THE BEAST Alhambra Theatre & Dining presents the Tony Award-winning musical about love between a monster (or is he?) and a princess, through July 31. Dinner 6 p.m.; brunch noon; Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menu; Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 641-1212, $35-$62, alhambrajax.com.

CLASSICAL, CHOIR & JAZZ

ST AUGUSTINE CLASSICAL MUSIC FESTIVAL The Oldest City is the stage for a melodic event – the St. Augustine Classical Music Festival. Now in its 10th year, and the nation’s largest free festival of its kind. Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra musicians and internationally renowned artists play everything from Bach and Mozart to Copland and a world premiere of La Década for Organ, Strings and Timpani by local composer Bob Moore. All concerts are free; start 7:30 p.m., St. Augustine Cathedral Basilica. No tickets required. June 23-June 25, staugustinemusicfestival.org.

MUSIC AT GRACE Soprano Allison McClain and pianist Jackson Merrill perform works by Bach, Handel, Fauré, and Schubert, 5 p.m. June 25, Grace United Methodist Church, St. Augustine, 829-8272, gracestaugustine.org.

COMEDY

DICK GREGORY Legendary comedian and Civil Rights activist Gregory makes a one-night appearance, 7 p.m. June 22, The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, 292-4242, $25, comedyzone.com.

JOSH WOLF Comic Wolf, author of It Takes Balls: Dating Single Moms & Other Confessions from an Unprepared Single Dad, is on at 7:30 p.m. June 23; 7:30 & 9:45 p.m. June 24 & 25, The Comedy Zone, 292-4242, $20, comedyzone.com.

WILLIE BROWN Ventriloquist-comedian Brown, who’s been on Comic View and the series Barbershop, is on 8:30 p.m. June 23, 8 p.m. June 24, and 5 & 8 p.m. June 25, The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-4277, $10$15, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

BOB DiBUONO Comedian DiBuono, Trump impressionist, is on at 8 p.m. June 17; 8 & 10:30 p.m. June 18, The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 646-4277, $8-$25, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

FRED’S ALL STAR COMEDIANS Patrick Carson, David Emaneul, and others perform 7:30 p.m. June 28; Kurt Allen, Ozrick Cooley, and others perform 7:30 p.m. June 29, The Comedy Zone, 292-4242, $10, comedyzone.com.

CALLS & WORKSHOPS

FLORIDA CIVIL RIGHTS HALL OF FAME The Florida Commission on Human Relations accepts nominations of those who’ve made significant contributions and provided leadership for Florida’s progress and achievements in civil rights, for the FCRHoF. Details: fchr.state.fl.us.

NEW TOWN URBAN FARM Urban Geoponics and New Town are developing a large community garden on the corner of Pearce and West Third streets, in the New Town/Edward Waters College area, Northside. The farm will provide fresh produce and a hands-on, open-air center of learning for the community and area students (Eugene Butler, Edward Waters College, FSCJ Downtown, others). Urban Farm meets 10 a.m.-1 p.m. every Sun. Details, call Diallo-Sekou at 706-284-9808.

ART WALKS & MARKETS

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Local, regional art, music – Morning Yoga with Marcy Knight (9 a.m.) Stacey Bennett (Folk Is People), The Willowwacks, Robert Lester Folsom, Jenni Reid – food, farmers market, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. June 25 under Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com.

UPTOWN SATURDAY NIGHT The self-guided tour features galleries, antique stores and shops open from 5-9 p.m. every last Sat. in St. Augustine’s San Marco District, 824-3152.

MUSEUMS

CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummermuseum.org. Lift: Contemporary Expressions of the African American Experience, works of 10 local artists including Thony Aiuppy, Glendia Cooper, Ingrid Damiani, Overstreet Ducasse, Dustin Harewood, Marsha Hatcher, Hiromi Moneyhun, Princess Rashid, Chip Southworth, and Roosevelt Watson III, creating responses to Jacksonville’s rich artistic African-American heritage, displays through Feb. 12. Conservation, Beautification, & a City Plan: Ninah Cummer & the Establishment of Jacksonville Parks, through Nov. 27.

David Hayes: The Sentinel Series, sculptures of geometrically abstract, organic forms, through Oct. 2.

MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N.

Laura St., 366-6911, mocajacksonville.unf.edu. MOCA Book Club: A Short Life of Trouble is held 1 and 7 p.m. June 23.

Confronting the Canvas: Women of Abstraction, 30 works by six contemporary, female Abstract Expressionist painters, displays through Sept. 4. Amer Kobaslija: A Sense of Place runs through Aug. 14. Project Atrium: Shinique Smith, Quickening, a fabricbased installation incorporating graffiti, Japanese calligraphy, and collage, through June 26.

GALLERIES

ADELE GRAGE CULTURAL CENTER 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-5828, coab.us. Photographer Donna Snider’s recent works display through June 30.

THE ART CENTER Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 139, 233-9252, tacjacksonville.org. Texture Art is on display through Aug. 1.

BREW FIVE POINTS 1024 Park St., Riverside, 374-5789, brewfivepoints.com. Photographer Edison William’s Confusion of the Dream in Planetary Motion - Great Smoky Mountains is on display through mid-July.

CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530, flagler.edu/crispellert. Shannon Estlund’s sitespecific installation Between Here and There, through June 24.

FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928, firststreetgalleryart.com. The 14th Annual Sea Turtle Show displays through July 4.

KARPELES MANUSCRIPT LIBRARY MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992, rain.org. Kaytee Ester’s Classic Car-Ma displays through July 2.

MONROE GALLERIES 40 W. Monroe St., Downtown, 881-0209, monroegalleries.com. Works by Barbie Bray-Workman, Jami Childers, Dana Fawn, Leilani Leo, and Dustin Bradley are featured. Photographer Abbey Matthews is the featured artist for June.

PLUM GALLERY 9 Aviles St., St. Augustine, 825-0069, plumartgallery.com. New works by Lenny Foster, Alma Castro, and Gary Borse display through June.

SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY Bank of America Tower, 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 150, Downtown, 438-4358, southlightgallery.com. This collaborative gallery has works by 20 local artists. The exhibit Fresh Air: Works Inspired By Nature opens June 23. Mac Truque is the featured artist through July 1.

ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., 824-2310, staaa.org. 2016 Annual Honors Show runs through July 10.

VANDROFF ART GALLERY Jewish Community Alliance, 8505 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 730-2100, jcajax.org. Works by the Art Guild of Orange Park display through June 29.

EVENTS

BRIDGE EIGHT ISSUE LAUNCH Local literary journal Bridge Eight launches its fourth issue, Breathing Life into Colorless Spaces, 7-10 p.m. June 22, Root Down, 1034 Park St., Riverside, bridgeeight.com.

GREEN HANDS SUSTAINABILITY EVENTS The Green Hands Sustainability Fest, featuring local nonprofit groups, food trucks, live music, and a screening of the documentary Tapped (8 p.m.) kicks off 4 p.m. June 25, St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., 209-0367, staugamphitheatre.com. The Green Hands Sustainability Soiree features a wine and cheese reception, live music, and screening of Tapped at 4 p.m. June 26, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., 209-0399, pvconcerthall.com.

PLAYERS BY THE SEA 50th FINALE GALA Players by the Sea celebrates its 50th Season Finale Gala, with a gourmet buffet, live and silent auctions, and live music, 7 p.m. June 24, TPC Sawgrass’ Ponte Vedra Room, 110 Championship Way, $100; beach elegant attire requested, playersbythesea.org.

PRIDE CELEBRATION DAY AT MOSH Museum of Science & History presents its Pride Celebration Day, in partnership with JASMYN, the UNF LGBT Resource Center, ElderSource, Girls Rock, and PFLAG, with free admission, activities, and educational programs, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. June 25, 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank, 607-9720, themosh.org.

INTERNATIONAL SURF DAY CLEANUP The city of Jacksonville, Keep Jacksonville Beautiful, and Surfrider Foundation seek volunteers for a beach cleanup, held 1-4 p.m. June 25, Jax Beach Fishing Pier, 503 First St. N. Surfing demos and a cigarette cleanup competition. Participants must be 18 years old or accompanied by an adult. Wear sturdy footwear and sun protection; trash bags and gloves provided; details at 315-664-2201.

JACKSONVILLE CANNONS VS. AUSTIN SOL Jax Cannons, professional Ultimate Frisbee team, tosses against Austin Sol, 7 p.m. June 25, The Bolles School, 7400 San Jose Blvd., San Marco; single game tickets $10, jaxcannons.com.

MARRIAGE EQUALITY DAY WEDDINGS In honor of the anniversary of the Supreme Court case, Obergefell v. Hodges, which granted marriage equality throughout the nation, Buckman Bridge Unitarian Universalist Church is holding free same-sex weddings, 2-6 p.m. June 26, 8447 Manresa Ave., Orange Park, 276-3739, love donations welcome, register at evite.com., bbuuc.org.

GRANT BLACKWOOD BOOK SIGNING New York Times bestselling author Blackwood talks about and signs copies of his new book Tom Clancy Duty and Honor: A Jack Ryan Jr. Novel, 7 p.m. June 27, The BookMark, 220 First St., Neptune Beach, 241-9026, bookmarkbeach.com.

JACKSONVILLE SUNS VS. TENNESSEE SMOKIES The Suns’ homestand against the Tennessee Smokies starts off 12:05 p.m. June 29 (Big Splash Day), and 7:05 p.m. June 30 (Mavericks Live Thirsty Thursday), July 1 (Red Shirt Friday), and 6:05 p.m. July 2 (Giveaway) and July 3 (All-American Night, Independence Day Celebration) at Bragan Field, Baseball Grounds, Downtown, single game tix $5-$18, 358-2846, jaxsuns.com. Next up: Pensacola Blue Wahoos! _____________________________________________ To list an event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price, contact number to print to Daniel A. Brown – email dbrown@folioweekly.com or mail, 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Items run as space is available. Deadline noon Wed. for next Wed. printing.

JUNE 22-28, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25

FOLIO A+E : MUSIC

Punk rockers The Wastedist and Kona Skate Park celebrate the intersections between MUSIC AND SKATEBOARDING

YOUNG, LOUD &

T

26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 22-28, 2016

hough skateboarding had been popular with beach-adjacent youth culture since as early as the 1950s, it wouldn’t be until the street skating boom of the late ’80s that skating would begin taking on a more urban aesthetic. Even so, the counterculture musical movements of 1970s New York City — specifically punk rock – found a receptive home among disaffected youth in coastal California and, by the early ’80s, bands like Venice Beach’s Suicidal Tendencies were carrying the torch of a new sub-genre, skate punk.

Like nearly all sub-genres — from Gangsta Rap to adult-alternative-jazzrock — skate punk was a term defined by people on its periphery as a way of categorizing music that was hard to qualify.

Skate punk, with its blistering speed, overstated aggressiveness, and lyrics that were either overtly ironic, overtly political, or both, sounded a lot like hardcore punk.

In actuality, the defining feature of skate punk rests in its adherents’ connections to the skate scene. Put simply: If you ride a skateboard and play punk rock, you may be said to play skate punk.

In the ’90s, skate punk had a brief flirtation with mainstream popularity, as California bands like Blink 182 who, mostly because of their proximity to the X-Games skate culture burgeoning at the time, received more play on MTV than their derivative, melodic hooks and sunny pop melodies likely warranted.

Today, local quartet The Wastedist deftly captures the sound and energy (as well as the sardonicism) that extraneous forces first conferred on the bands-who-happened-toskate of the 1980s.

“The Wastedist was a skate crew way before it was a band,” band lead vocalist Jeramy Maile tells Folio Weekly Magazine. “[Our music] is kind of theme music for the way we live.”

And how do they live?

“When we play shows, we get as fucked up as possible,” Maile boasts. “I’m pretty sure our band can out-drink any other band that we play with.”

That’s quite a claim, considering the circle in which The Wastedist currently runs, a punk rock scene that’s as eclectic and thriving as perhaps any music scene in Northeast Florida, featuring many adherents of booze-rich revelry such as TJ Hookers and The Concrete

WASTED

Criminals. It’s a scene that, according to Maile, is anything but glamorous.

“We play dark, dingy hole-in-the-walls, sometimes for nobody,” he says. “The only thing that holds it together is the people playing in these bands and the people that support the local punk scene.”

Formed in 2008, The Wastedist has gone through some lineup changes, and currently features Trevor Stevens on drums, Devin Clark on bass, Tim McIntyre on guitar, and Maile.

The band’s most recent six-song offering, which carries the thematically appropriate title Booze Hound, features the group thrashing through tunes heavy in distortion and musicianship, and light on subject matter. The album’s second track, “Raining Beer,” opens Go Skate Kona 39th Anniversary & Fundraiser

THE WASTEDIST, CHROME FANG, COMMUNITY CERVIX, FFN, THE FIREWATER TENT REVIVAL, FLAG ON FIRE, GROSS EVOLUTION, NW IZZARD, POWERBALL, STRANGE FRIEND, TJ HOOKERS & 210 (CHRIS BARROWS) 2-10 p.m. June 25, Kona Skate Park, Arlington, $10, konaskatepark.com

with the crunching of glass (beer bottles, one would assume) followed by equally crunchy guitar riffs, with intermittent drum rolls and the groups’ collective vocals serving as a kind of siren, warning the listener of the fury that will soon befall his or her ears. (Spoiler: Said fury takes the form of a raging backbeat and a three-syllable refrain, “Ray… ning… beer!”)

Two songs later, the sounds of the wheels of a skateboard approaching quickly morph into the sound of the board’s trucks sliding across a concrete surface, kicking off a power chord rager called “Hit After Hit.” The album’s final track features a prolonged, militaresque drum intro — rendering it the longest song to offer, by far, at three minutes, 42 seconds — followed by a chorus that unapologetically announces, “I’m a drunk!”

On June 25, The Wastedist, along with local punk bands including Gross Evolution, TJ Hookers, and scene-vets Powerball, play a 39th anniversary celebration at Kona Skate Park. Not just an anniversary party — the event, which features bands on three stages in various locations around the park, will promote National Go Skate Day and serve as a fundraiser for the nation’s oldest continually operating skate park. There’ll also be food,

beer, skate demos, and the unpredictable antics of Canadian YouTube sensations, the JoogSquad.

The park’s owner, Martin Ramos, says the music is what he is most excited about.

“Punk has always been a small, niche culture here locally,” says Ramos. “But it’s always kind of gelled well with skating.”

Ramos, whose family has owned Kona since the day it opened in the summer of 1977, says that because skateboarding is so much more diverse than it was nearly four decades ago, the musical interests of its adherents have expanded. For that reason, Ramos added bands like local bluegrass hellions The Firewater Tent Revival.

“The lifestyle and culture surrounding skateboarding is always evolving. That’s one of the cool things about it,” explains Ramos. “The festival is kind of a way to invite people from different backgrounds and say ‘hey, come be a part of skate culture.’”

With the proliferation of free public skate parks in Northeast Florida, the economic feasibility of a private park that does little more than open its doors and charge a daily admission fee has become increasingly dicey.

“To be honest, I suck at asking for money,” Ramos laughs. Proceeds from the festival, Ramos says, will be reinvested in the park.

“We need to smooth out all the concrete and that’s a roughly $30,000 job. We feel if we get this done, it’ll put us in a good position to operate successfully for years to come.”

In the festival atmosphere of Kona’s upcoming celebration, Ramos sees a potential path toward long-term sustainability.

“I have always put skateboarding first, so this is new to me,” Ramos says of now trying his hand at festival promotion. “But as we try to expand to a broader audience, I think music seems to be that great unifier.”

If Kona is to host more concerts and festivals in the future, it’s clear that they’d do well to lean heavily on bands from the region’s tight-knit (skate) punk scene, as its members have proved not only loyal, but rather prolific.

Later this summer, The Wastedist will release a split 7-inch with friends The Concrete Criminals and a full-length to be released on Beer:30 Records.

“If you like beer-drenched rock, you’ll like these albums,” says Maile. In the meantime, Maile says, “Come to a show and we’ll party.”

Matthew B. Shaw mail@folioweekly.com

“Whole Lotta Covers!!!”

ZOSO Ultimate Led Zeppelin Experience appears June 23 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall.

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK

SPADE McQUADE 6 p.m. June 22, Fionn MacCool’s Irish Pub, Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247.

Music by the Sea: CATCH THE GROOVE 6 p.m. June 22, Pier & Pavilion, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 347-8007, free, thecivicassociation.org.

JIMMY PARRISH 7 p.m. June 22, Ragtime Tavern, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877.

Heartbeat of the Bold City: ARVID SMITH, SHAWN LIGHTFOOT 5 p.m. June 23, Hemming Park, 117 W. Duval St., 255-7900.

REBELUTION, The GREEN & J BOOG, STICK FIGURE, THROUGH the GREEN 5:20 p.m. (we’re not making this up: doors at 4:20 p.m.) June 23, St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., 209-0367, $32.50 advance; $38 day of.

The DRUIDS 7 p.m. June 23, Ragtime Tavern.

Adult Twilight BYOB Cruises: RADIO LOVE 7 p.m. June 23; JIM BARCARO June 24, DAN VOLL June 25, from 1 N. Front St., Fernandina, 261-9972; details at ameliarivercruises.com.

Concerts in the Plaza: THE RICK ARCUSA BAND 7 p.m. June 23, Plaza de la Constitución, St. George & King streets, St. Augustine, 825-1004.

CARL VERHEYEN GROUP 7:30 p.m. June 23, Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., San Marco, 352-7008, $20.

ZOSO Ultimate Led Zeppelin Experience 8 p.m. June 23, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., 209-0399, $25 advance (SRO); $28 day of.

VISTA KICKS, STRANGERS YOU KNOW 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $8.

“3” the BAND 9 p.m. June 23, Flying Iguana, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680.

GITLO LEE 6:30 p.m. June 24, Alley Cat Seafood & Beer House, 316 Centre St., Fernandina Beach, 491-1001.

MIKE SHACKELFORD, STEVE SHANHOLTZER 7:30 p.m. June 24, Mudville Music Room, $10.

DISPLACE, FUNK YOU, VOODOO VISIONARY, MANYFEST 8 p.m. June 24, 1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St., Downtown, $8 advance; $10 day of.

UPCHURCH the REDNECK 8 p.m. June 24, Jack Rabbits, $15.

COMMUNITY CENTER, EMA & the OLD KINGS 10 p.m. June 24, at Burro Bar, Downtown.

LOVE MONKEY 10 p.m. June 24 & 25, Ragtime Tavern.

BREAD & BUTTER 10 p.m. June 24 & 25, Flying Iguana.

ROGER THAT 10 p.m. June 24 & 25, The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 264-0611.

Riverside Arts Market: STACEY BENNETT (FOLK IS PEOPLE), The WILLOWWACKS, ROBERT LESTER FOLSOM, JENNI REID 10:30 a.m. June 25, 715 Riverside, 389-2449.

Go Skate Kona 39th Anniversary & Fundraiser: CHROME FANG, COMMUNITY CERVIX, FFN, FIREWATER TENT REVIVAL, FLAG on FIRE, GROSS EVOLUTION, NW IZZARD, POWERBALL, STRANGE FRIEND, The WASTEDIST, TJ HOOKERS, 210 (Chris Barrows) 2-10 p.m. June 25, Kona Skate Park, 8739 Kona Ave., Arlington, 725-8770, $10.

Freedom Festival: AARON TIPPIN, STARR FIELDS, STUMP WATER 5 p.m. June 25, Orange Park Mall, 269-9413.

Indie Showcase: REALPOLITIK, JACOB HUDSON, JORDAN POOLE 7 p.m. June 25, Murray Hill Theatre, 932 Edgewood

Ave. S., Murray Hill, 388-7807, $8-$10.

ERIC BRACE & PETER COOPER, KATHERINE KINCAID 7:30 p.m. June 25, Mudville Music Room, $10.

DAVIS TURNER 8 p.m. June 25, Slider’s Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., Fernandina Beach, 277-6652.

RICHIE RAMONE, ELECTRIC WATER, TEENAGE LOBOTOMY, SANDPAPER BRIEFS 8 p.m. June 25, Burro Bar, Downtown, $10 advance; $15 day of.

MARION CRANE, BREAKING THROUGH, TOGETHER in EXILE, WHISPERS, GHOSTWITCH 8 p.m. June 25, Jack Rabbits, $8.

GO ASK ALICE 9:30 p.m. June 25, Whiskey Jax, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Southside, 634-7208.

TIM MALCHAK, STU WEAVER 6 p.m. June 26, Limelight Theatre, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, 825-1164, $5.

NEIL DIXON 7 p.m. June 26, Ragtime Tavern.

PROWESS 7 p.m. June 26, Harmonious Monks, 320 First St. N., Jax Beach, 372-0815, $8-$15.

DARREN CORLEW 8:30 p.m. June 26, Flying Iguana.

Ragtime Anniversary Party: CLOUD 9 7 p.m. June 28, Ragtime. letlive, SEAHAVEN, SILVER SNAKES, NIGHT VERSES 8 p.m.

June 28, 1904 Music Hall, $8 advance; $10 day of.

Music by the Sea: CHILLULA 7 p.m. June 29, St. Augustine Beach Pier & Pavilion, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., thecivicassociation.org. Bring something to sit on.

BIG JOHN 7 p.m. June 29, Ragtime Tavern.

JUSTIN BIEBER 7:30 p.m. June 29, Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., Downtown, 630-3900, $50-$126.

WONKY TONK, GILEAH TAYLOR, BILLY & BELLA 8 p.m. June 29, Jack Rabbits.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

MANATEES, The MOLD, CURLEYS June 30, The Headlamp MINORCAN, The MOTHER GOOSES July 1, Shantytown Pub The Funeral of Burro Bar I: CHARLIE SHUCK, KEVIN LEE NEWBERRY, ELECTRIC WATER, BIRTHDAY PONY, GOLDEN PELICANS, TUFFY, OPIATE EYES, DJ 3 CLOPS I, TOUGH JUNKIE & the FFJB MUSIC TEAM, UMBTRON (Willie Evans Jr., Paten Locke) July 1, Burro Bar SUBLIME with ROME, TRIBAL SEEDS July 1, St. Augustine Amphitheatre BARENAKED LADIES, ORCHESTRAL MANOEUVRES in the DARK, HOWARD JONES July 2, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MINORCAN, The MOTHER GOOSES, DAGGER BEACH July 2, Shanghai Nobby’s The FRITZ, ELECTRIK KIF July 2, 1904 Music Hall MAGIC MIKE MALE REVUE XXL July 2, Mavericks Live The Funeral of Burro Bar II: NELSON LOCKE, GALACTOID, LA-A, RHYTHM of FEAR, BLACK TUSK, FORT STORIES, SEA CYCLES, FJORD EXPLORER, GRAMMAR TREE, TOMBOI, AFTER the BOMB, BABY!, TWINKI July 2, Burro Bar TWENTY ONE PILOTS July 3, St. Augustine Amphitheatre FLAG, WAR on WOMEN, The DIRTY NIL July 8, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ROBERT CRAY BAND July 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall STITCHES July 8, Mavericks Live Unity Fest 2016: JEEZY, JACQUEES, PLIES, more July 9,

Veterans Memorial Arena BOY GEORGE & CULTURE CLUB, WHO’S BAD, BOW WOW WOW July 9, Morocco Shrine Auditorium The NOTS, The MOLD, FEVER HANDS July 10, The Headlamp EL ESCAPADO, MR. NEVER & the SCARS, SPEEDBAG RESIDUE July 11, Shantytown Pub 98 DEGREES, O TOWN, DREAM, RYAN CABRERA July 14, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JASON MICHAEL CARROLL, MARK WILLS, DARYL WORLEY July 14, Mavericks Live KID INK July 15, Mavericks Live IN the WHALE, STRANGE FRIEND, LA-A, The MOTHER GOOSES July 16, Harbor Tavern MARIANAS TRENCH July 16, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SHAWN MENDES July 16, St. Augustine Amphitheatre FLIGHT of the CONCHORDS, ARJ BARKER July 17, St. Augustine Amphitheatre RICHIE SPICE July 17, Mavericks Live 5 SECONDS of SUMMER July 20, Veterans Memorial Arena TED NUGENT July 20, Florida Theatre Villainfest 2016: SALEM HOLLOW, NEW DAY, BLEEDING in STEREO, FILTH, INNER DEMONS, LOWRCASE G, PHD, AUTOMATIK FIT July 22, Mavericks Live AURIC, SATURNINE, UNEARTHLY CHILD July 22, Shantytown Connection Festival: WU-TANG CLAN, CAGE the ELEPHANT, BIG DATA, ST. LUCIA, NEVER SHOUT NEVER, NEW YORK SKA ENSEMBLE, RUN RIVER NORTH, WHOLE WHEAT BREAD, COLOURS, BROTHER HAWK, WATERSEED, CONTROL THIS!, CLOUD9 VIBES, MOYA MOYA, UNIVERSAL GREEN, ASKMEIFICARE, SKYVIEW, FLAG on FIRE July 23, Downtown NILE, AFTER the BURIAL, SUFFOCATION July 25, Mavericks 311, MATISYAHU July 26, St. Augustine Amphitheatre TODRICK HALL July 26, The Florida Theatre CRAIG MORGAN July 28, The Florida Theatre BRING IT! LIVE July 29, The Florida Theatre LUKE COMBS July 29, Mavericks Live EMMA MOSELEY BAND, KRISTOPHER JAMES, CURT TOWNE BAND July 30, St. Aug Amphitheatre Backyard Party DAVID BAZAN, MICHAEL NAU Aug. 4, Jack Rabbits CHRIS STAPLETON Aug. 4, St. Augustine Amphitheatre The ACACIA STRAIN, OCEANO, KNOCKED LOOSE, CULTURE KILLER, TO the WIND Aug. 6, 1904 Music Hall MAXWELL Aug. 7, Times-Union Center MISTERWIVES Aug. 7, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Outcry: HILLSONG WORSHIP, KARI JOBE, REND COLLECTIVE, HOUSEFIRES, URBAN RESCUE, CHAD VEACH Aug. 10, Veterans Memorial Arena SLIGHTLY STOOPID, SOJA, FORTUNATE YOUTH Aug. 11, St. Augustine Amphitheatre RAY LaMONTAGNE Aug. 14, St. Augustine Amphitheatre BONEY JAMES Aug. 18, The Florida Theatre LYLE LOVETT & HIS LARGE BAND Aug. 20, Florida Theatre The ORCHESTRA ELO’s Greatest Hits (members of ELO, Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra) Aug. 27, Florida Theatre WAYNE BRADY Aug. 27, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts Kings & Queens of Hip Hop: DMX, BONE THUGS-N-HARMONY, TRINA, JUVENILE, SCARFACE, JT MONEY, BIGGA RANKIN,

JUNE 22-28, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC JAY LENO Jan. 14, Thrasher-Horne Center JEANNE ROBERTSON Jan. 21, The Florida Theatre The BABES Feb. 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall COLIN HAY Feb. 22, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall The WEIGHT (with members of The Band) March 3, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall

LIVE MUSIC CLUBS

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA Cali buds REBELUTION (pictured) perform with THE GREEN & J BOOG, STICK FIGURE, and THROUGH THE GREEN June 23 at St. Augustine Amphitheatre.

MIKE JONES, KHIA, WAYNE WONDE Aug. 27, Veterans Memorial Arena JILL SCOTT Aug. 28, T-U Center for the Performing Arts GOO GOO DOLLS, COLLECTIVE SOUL, TRIBE SOCIETY Aug. 31, St. Augustine Amphitheatre KENNY G Sept. 1, The Florida Theatre TONY JOE WHITE Sept. 2, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MELVINS Sept. 8, Jack Rabbits BRIAN WILSON, AL JARDINE, BLONDIE CHAPLIN Sept. 10, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JAKE SHIMABUKURO Sept. 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ZAC BROWN BAND, DRAKE WHITE & the BIG FIRE Sept. 17, Veterans Memorial Arena IL DIVO Sept. 23, The Florida Theatre WIDESPREAD PANIC Sept. 23 & 24, St. Augustine Amphitheatre RON “TATER SALAD” WHITE Oct. 1, Times-Union Center GEORGE THOROGOOD & the DESTROYERS Oct. 6, The Florida Theatre 1964 the TRIBUTE Oct. 9, The Florida Theatre HENRY ROLLINS (spoken word) Oct. 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall KORN, BREAKING BENJAMIN Oct. 12, Veterans Memorial Arena DONNA the BUFFALO, PETER ROWAN BLUEGRASS BAND, BLUEGROUND UNDERGRASS Oct. 13-16, Suwannee Music Park NEEDTOBREATHE, MAT KEARNY, PARACHUTE, WELSHLY

ARMS Oct. 13, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Jacksonville Music Fest: MAZE, FRANKIE BEVERLY, JAHEIM, JOE Oct. 14, Veterans Memorial Arena Beaches Oktoberfest: BLUES TRAVELER, COLLIE BUDDZ, The MOVEMENT Oct. 14-16, SeaWalk Pavilion, Jax Beach Live Original Tour: SADIE ROBERTSON Oct. 14, Florida Theatre MAGNOLIA FEST Oct. 15, St. Augustine Amphitheatre KEB’ MO’ BAND Oct. 18, The Florida Theatre The AVETT BROTHERS Oct. 28, Veterans Memorial Arena SCOTT BRADLEE’S POSTMODERN JUKEBOX Oct. 16, The Florida Theatre BONNIE RAITT Oct. 29, St. Augustine Amphitheatre GHOST, POPESTAR Nov. 4, The Florida Theatre ZZ TOP Nov. 5, St. Aug Amphitheatre CHRIS YOUNG, CASSADEE POPE Nov. 12, St. Augustine Amphitheatre WAR Nov. 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall NEIL deGRASSE TYSON Nov. 14, The Florida Theatre SAVION GLOVER Nov. 18, The Florida Theatre ANIMAL COLLECTIVE Nov. 22, Mavericks Live STANLEY CLARKE Dec. 2, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall GARRISON KEILLOR; A PETER WHITE CHRISTMAS: RICK BRAUN, EUGE GROOVE Dec. 11, The Florida Theatre The OAK RIDGE BOYS Dec. 13, The Florida Theatre

ALLEY CAT BEER HOUSE, 316 Centre St., 491-1001 Dan Voll 6:30 p.m. June 22. Gitlo Lee 6:30 p.m. June 23. Live music most weekends LA MANCHA, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646 Miguel Paley jazz show 5:30-9 p.m. every Fri.-Sun. Javier Parez every Sun. SLIDERS Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652 King Eddie & Pili Pili 6 p.m. June 22. Tad Jennings June 23.

Radio Love, DJ Dave June 24. Mark O’Quinn, Davis Turner June 25. Down Yonder June 26. Darrell Rae June 27 SURF Restaurant, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Russell Bryant June 24. Yancy Clegg Tue. & Thur. Black Jack Band Fri.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

CASBAH Café, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free 9 p.m. Tue. & Thur.

Indie dance 9 p.m. every Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance every Fri.

THE BEACHES (All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted) BLUE WATER Island Grill, 205 First St. N., 249-0083 Live music most nights after 10 p.m.

BRASS ANCHOR Pub, 2292 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0301 Joe Oliff June 22. Live music on the weekends The BRIX Taphouse, 300 Second St. N., 241-4668 Savanna Leigh Bassett June 22. Yamadeo June 23. Live music Tue. & Wed. Barrett Jockers every Fri. CULHANE’S Irish Pub, 967 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 249-9595 DJ Hal every Sat. Irish music every Sun. FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 3 the Band 9 p.m. June 23. Bread & Butter 10 p.m. June 24. The Gootch June 25. Darren Corlew June 26.

GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925 Groov every Wed. Will Hurley & Pops every Thur. Murray Goff every Fri. Under the Bus every Sat. Gene Nordan on Sun. HARMONIOUS Monks, 320 First St. N., 372-0815 Duffy Bishop 7 p.m. June 22. Lisa & the Madhatters June 25.

Prowess June 26 LEMON BAR, 120 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 372-0487 Trev Barnes June 22 LYNCH’S Irish Pub, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Blind Mason 10 p.m. June 24. Evan Michael & the Well Wishers 10 p.m.

June 25. Chillula every Sun. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 Third St. N., 241-5600 Oklahoma Stackhouse June 23. Lyons June 24 MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573 Ginger every Wed. Mike Shackelford, Steve Shanholtzer every Thur.

MOJO Kitchen, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636 Live music most weekends MONKEY’S UNCLE Tavern, 1728 N. Third St., 246-1070 Chilly Rhino June 24. DJ Wed., Sat. & Sun. Live music Fri. RAGTIME Tavern, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877 Jimmy Parrish June 22. The Druids June 23. Love Monkey June 24 & 25. Neil Dixon June 26. Live music every Wed.-Sun. SEACHASERS, 831 First St. N., 372-0444 Eric Alibiso June 22. Mystic Dino June 23. Mystic Dino Revolution Band June 24. Swamp Ash June 25 SLIDERS, 218 First St., NB, 246-0881 Live music every Wed.-Sun. ZETA Brewing, 131 First Ave. N., 372-0727 Live music every Fri. & Sat.

DOWNTOWN

1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N. Sir Rickey, Moakent, Who Killed the Mascot June 22. Displace, ManyFest, FunkYou June 24. letlive, Seahaven, Silver Snakes, Night Verses June 28 BURRO Bar, 100 E. Adams St. Community Center, Ema & The Old Kings 10 p.m. June 24. Richie Ramone, Electric Water, Teenage Lobotomy, Sandpaper Briefs June 25. Live music most weekends till the very end!

DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 BlackJack Wed. DJ Brandon Thur. DJs spin dance music Fri. DJ NickFresh every Sat. DJ Randall every Mon. DJ Hollywood every Tue. FIONN MacCOOL’S, The Landing, 374-1247 Spade McQuade 6 p.m. June 22 & 8 p.m. June 24. Chuck Nash June 25 HOURGLASS Pub, 345 E. Bay St., 469-1719 Bay Street 9:30 p.m. June 24 JACKSONVILLE Landing, 353-1188 Live music most weekends MARK’S Downtown, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Dr. Doom 10 p.m. every Fri. DJ Shotgun 10 p.m. every Sat. MAVERICKS LIVE, Jax Landing, 356-1110 Joe Buck, DJ Justin every Thur.-Sat. MYTH Nightclub & Bar, 333 E. Bay St., 707-0474 Unleash 9 p.m. June 23. DJ Q45, live music every Wed. EDM every Thur. Eric Rush every Fri. DJ IBay every Sat. Bangarang & Crunchay every Sun.

28 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 22-28, 2016

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC FLEMING ISLAND

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999 Robert Brown June 24. Live music most weekends WHITEY’S Fish Camp, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Jimi Graves 9 p.m. June 23. Don’t Call Me Shirley 9 p.m. June 24.

Shanytown, Kymystry June 25

INTRACOASTAL WEST

CLIFF’S BAR, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 Anton LaPlume June 22. Live music most weekends JERRY’S Grille, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766 Rick Arcusa 7:30 p.m. June 24. Mr. Natural 7:30 p.m. June 25

MANDARIN

IGGY’S SEAFOOD SHACK, 104 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 101, 209-5209 Live music most weekends MONKEY’S UNCLE, 10503 San Jose, Ste. 15, 260-1349 Live music most weekends

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

The HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael every Tue.-Sat. MR. CHUBBY’S, 11043 Crystal Springs Rd., 355-9464 Robert Brown Jr. the Confluent 9 p.m. June 10 The ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Skip & Da King June 22. DJ Big Mike June 23. Roger That 10 p.m.

June 24 & 25

PONTE VEDRA

PUSSER’S, 816 A1A, 280-7766 Live music most weekends TABLE 1, 330 A1A, 280-5515 Tier 2 June 22. Gary Starling June 23. Samuel Sanders June 24. Robbie Litt June 25.

Deron Baker June 29

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

DERBY on PARK, 1068 Park St., 379-3343 Live music most weekends MURRAY HILL Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., 388-7807 Realpolitik, Jacob Hudson, Jordan Poole 7:30 p.m. June 25 PREVATT’S, 2620 Blanding Blvd., 282-1564 Smooth McFlea June 25 RIVERSIDE Arts Market, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449 Stacey Bennett (Folk Is People), The Willowwacks, Robert Lester Folsom, Jenni Reid 10:30 a.m. June 25

IF YOU DIDN’T COME TO

SALSA… Riverside-repping nonet is making the hipsters (AND EVERYBODY ELSE) dance

IT’S A QUARTER TILL 10 P.M. AND ROUGHLY A half-hour after they were supposed to perform, as eight of the nine members of the evening’s opening act continue to mill about the venue. The capacity crowd has made the dark, dungeon-like backroom of Riverside’s revelrous live music venue, Rain Dogs., more sauna-like than usual.

Although no one seems to be growing restless, it’s still a relief when Josué Cruz, LPT bassist (and Folio Weekly Magazine contributor), finally walks through the venue’s front door. One of his bandmates helps clear a path as Cruz strains to keep his heavy bass amp from giving unlucky concert attendees a concussion.

Despite his band’s acronym, which stands for Latin People Time – a tongue-in-cheek embrace of a stereotype that refers to an indifference to

LPT

9 p.m. June 23, Rain Dogs., Riverside, facebook.com/raindogsjax.

ST. AUGUSTINE

The CELLAR Upstairs, 157 King St., 826-1594 Jazz and blues most weekends. Vinny Jacobs 2 p.m. June 26 MARDI GRAS, 123 San Marco Ave., 823-8806 Traded Youth June 24. Those Guys June 25.

DJ Rob St. John Wed. Live music Fri. & Sat. SHANGHAI NOBBY’S, 10 Anastasia Blvd., 547-2188 Live music Fri. & Sat. TRADEWINDS Lounge, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Cottonmouth 9 p.m. June 24 & 25

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Upchurch the Redneck 8 p.m. June 24.

Marion Crane, Breaking Through, Together in Exile, Whispers, Ghostwitch 8 p.m. June 25.

Wonky Tonk, Gileah Taylor, Billy & Bella 8 p.m. June 29 MUDVILLE Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Carl Verheyen Band June 23. Mike Shackelford, Steve Shanholtzer 7:30 p.m. June 24. Eric Brace, Peter Cooper, Katherine Kincaid June 25

SOUTHSIDE, BAYMEADOWS

MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 997-1955 Charlie Walker June 23. DiCarlo June 24.

Ciaran Sontag June 25 UNCLE MADDIO’S, 8221 Southside Blvd., 527-8605 Live music most weekends WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., 634-7208 Crazy Daysies June 22. Warning June 24. Go Ask Alice June 25.

Melissa Smith’s open mic Wed. Blues jam Sun.

The Freedom Festival features performances by country fave AARON TIPPIN (pictured), STARR FIELDS, and STUMPWATER, June 25 at Orange Park Mall.

WORLD OF BEER, 9700 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 551-5929 Samuel Sanders June 25

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

SHANTYTOWN PUB, 22 W. Sixth St., 798-8222 Live music most weekends

__________________________________________ To list your band’s gig, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price and contact number to print to Daniel A. Brown, email dbrown@folioweekly.com or by mail, 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202.

Events run on a space-available basis. Deadline is noon Wednesday for next Wednesday’s publication.

FOLIO A + E: MUSIC FOLIO MUSIC

punctuality among people with Hispanic heritage – Cruz intended to be on time for this gig. He got held up, however, performing with the other musical group he’s part of, the blues-folk duo Calahoney. Cruz isn’t the only one in the band with other gigs. LPT has filled its ranks with some of the most accomplished (and busiest) young musicians in the area. Angel Garcia, formerly of Antique Animals, plays the piano and guitar. On congas, J.P. Salvat has toured with local singer-songwriter Whetherman (Nicholas Williams), while Jonah Pierre (bongos and cowbell) plays percussion with the jazz trio Tala. Milan Algood (timbales), Juan Rollan (saxophone), Sergio Valdes (trumpet), and Bryant Patterson (trombone) sit in with various local and touring acts. Meanwhile, vocalist Jorge Estevez has a fulltime day job in finance.

After plugging in, Cruz and the rest of the nonet rip through a raucous and lively set of Afro-Cuban and salsa numbers, Spanish guitar, all manner of Latin percussion, and the hypnotic rapping of the clave urging many in the crowd to make use of the little available space with some retrenched, though uninhibited, salsa dancing.

It turns out to be a seminal evening, laying the groundwork for three more dates at the same venue. The once-monthly engagement, which LPT has dubbed “El Fonquéte con LPT” is fastbecoming the go-to evening event in Jacksonville’s musical epicenter.

“A Fonquéte [fon-Khé-teh] is a jam, a party. It’s people getting together and sweating to [salsa],” says Cruz. “Anytime we are throwing the party, it’s going to be a straight-up Fonquéte – as in, if you didn’t come to dance, take yo’ dead-ass home [laughs].”

With roots in New York City’s fertile 1970s music scene – a place and time that also spawned both punk rock and hip hop – the salsa music played by LPT seems to naturally fit in the heart of Riverside’s Five Points neighborhood, within the confines of Rain Dogs.’ dank, punk-rock-ish backroom. While subsequent generations of GenXers and Millennials have romanticized Gotham, the members of LPT reserve a special reverence for Jacksonville’s artistic hub.

“Most of us live and work in Riverside,” Cruz says. “It’s a place where a bunch of young cats like us, from different backgrounds, can play AfroCuban and salsa music and people dig it without judgment or preconceptions.”

The group recently recorded a tribute to their favorite Jacksonville district. The song, Ribersai Lindo, is the band’s interpretation of legendary bassist Israel “Cachao” López Valdés’s song Descarga Mexicana. Cruz says LPT “just flipped it to celebrate Riverside.”

“Nothing against Mexico, we just live here and love it here. [The original song has] such a nasty groove that it has become one of our favorite songs to play,” Cruz says.

The lyrics to LPT’s version, translated, are “Pretty Riverside, we salute you.”

“Of course, we say ‘Ribersai,’ which is our take on one of our grandparents saying ‘Riverside’ with a Spanish accent,” Cruz laughs.

With nine members, all who have busy calendars, Cruz says the only real issue with the band is scheduling. “Everyone in this band has a fulltime hustle, whether it’s music or a day gig,” he says.

As it stands, LPT has one more Fonquéte lined up at Rain Dogs. this Thursday, June 23. But with the first two Fonquétes being so well-received, it’s hard to imagine June’s will be the last. Cruz is optimistic.

“We’ll be back, for sure,” he says. “If you’ve seen us play, you know how much fun we’re having up there. LPT is just about celebrating the music we grew up with and keeping it alive and healthy.

The Bold City needs this flavor on its palate.”

Matthew B. Shaw mail@folioweekly.com JUNE 22-28, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 29

FOLIO DINING AMELIA ISLAND FERNANDINA BEACH BEACH DINER, 2006 S. Eighth St., 310-3750, beachdiner. com. Newest in the popular local chain. Innovative breakfast: Eggs on the Bayou, fish-n-grits; French toast, riders, omelets. Lunch fare: salads, burgers, sandwiches, shrimp & crabmeat salad. $ K TO B L Daily BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F Southern hospitality, upscale waterfront spot; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB L D Daily BURLINGAME RESTAURANT, 20 S. Fifth St., 432-7671, burlingamerestaurant.com. The menu at the fine dining place changes quarterly, focusing on elegantly prepared dishes (8 apps, 8 mains) made with quality seasonal ingredients. Duck confit, grilled pork chops. $$$ BW D Tu-Sa CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo. com. F Family-owned; historic building. Veggie burgers, seafood, made-from-scratch dressings, sauces, desserts.

Dine in or on oak-shaded patio. Karibrew Pub next door. $$ FB K TO R, Su; L Daily, D Tu-Su in season CHEZ LEZAN BAKERY CO., 1014 Atlantic Ave., 491-4663, chezlezanbakery.com. Fresh European-style breads, pastries: croissants, muffins, cakes, pies. $ TO B R L Daily The CRAB TRAP, 31 N. Second St., 261-4749, ameliacrab trap.com. F 37 years, family-owned-and-operated. Fresh local seafood, steaks, specials. HH. $$ FB L D Daily GILBERT’S Underground Kitchen, 510 S. Eighth St., 310-6374, undergroundkitchen.com. Chef Kenny Gilbert (Top Chef) serves Deep Southern American cuisine. Dine inside or on a patio. $$ BW K TO L F; D W-Sa & M; R Su

The PICNIC BASKET, 503-A Centre St., 277-9779, picnic basketfernandina.com. Small shop focuses on fresh fare, cheeses, confits, charcuteries, wines. $$ BW B L D M-Sa PI INFINITE COMBINATIONS, 19 S. Third St., 432-8535, pi32034.wix.com/piinfinite. All bar service, NYC-style.

Specialty pizzas, pie or slice, toppings: truffle mushrooms, little neck clams, eggs, shrimp. Courtyard. $$ BW TO L D W-Su The SALTY PELICAN Bar & Grill, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. 2nd-story outdoor bar. Owners T.J. & Al offer local seafood, fish tacos, Mayport shrimp, po’boys, cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily The SAVORY MARKET, 474380 E. S.R. 200, 432-8551.

Local, organic produce, wild-caught seafood – Mayport shrimp – Wainwright meats, raw dairy, deli. Café has salads, hand-helds, tacos. $$ TO M-Sa SLIDERS Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F Oceanfront. Crabcakes, fried pickles, fresh seafood. Open-air 2nd floor, balcony. $$ FB K L D Daily T-RAY’S Burger Station, 202 S. Eighth St., 261-6310.

F 2015 BOJ winner. Family-owned-and-operated 18+ years. Blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L M-Sa

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1301 Monument Rd., Ste. 5, 724-5802. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

FLORIDA CREAMERY, 3566 St. Johns Ave., 619-5386.

Ice cream, waffle cones, milkshakes, sundaes, Nathan’s grilled hot dogs. Low-fat and sugar-free choices. $ K TO L D Daily

BITE-SIZED The Olive Tree PINT-SIZED Beer-cation GRILL ME! Taps Bar & Grill CHEFFED-UP Stone Ground Heaven

P. 31 P. 32 P. 32 P. 33

wines glass/bottle. Meatloaf sandwich, pulled Peruvian chicken, vegan black bean burgers. HH. $$ BW L M-F; D Tu-Sa ZESTY INDIA, 8358 Point Meadows Dr., 329-3676, zesty india.com. Chefs combine Asian methodology with European template for tandoori lamb chops, rosemary tikka.

Vegetarian items cooked separately in vegetable oil. Lunch platters. $ BW TO L D Tu-Su

BEACHES

(Venues are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0002, alspizza.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. New York-style gourmet pizzas, baked dishes 28+ years. All-day HH M-Thu. $ FB K TO L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001, europeanstreet.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & Tequila Bar, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 F 2015 BOJ winner.

Latin American, tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana fare.

100+ tequilas. $ FB L D Daily GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925, gustojax.com. Classic Old World Roman cuisine, extensive Italian menu: homestyle pasta, beef, chicken, fish delicacies; open pizza-tossing kitchen. Reservations encouraged. $$ FB TO D Nightly HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815.

American-style steakhouse, filets, gourmet burgers, ribs, wraps, sandwiches. $$ FB K L D M-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 657 Third St. N., 247-9620. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 1018 Third St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600, mellowmushroom.com. F Bite Club.

2015 BOJ winner. Hoagies, gourmet pizzas: Mighty Meaty, vegetarian, Kosmic Karma. 35 tap beers. Nonstop HH. $ BW K TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 1534 Third St. N., 853-6817. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO.

Get a fresh take on barbecue and local craft beers when you bring your big appetite into The Bearded Pig, San Marco’s popular new rib joint. photo by Dennis Ho HOLA CUBAN CAFÉ, 117 Centre St., 321-0163, holacuban cafe.com. F Behind Palace Saloon; owned by real Cubans; authentic sandwiches, coffee. Dine in or out at umbrella tables. $$ FB K TO R, Su; L D Daily HORIZONS, 5472 First Coast Hwy., 321-2430, horizons ameliaisland.com. Fine dining, upscale setting. Gourmet fare, seafood, steaks, lamb, pasta. $$$ FB L D Tu-Sa JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddian escafe.com. F 1887 shotgun house. Jambalaya, French toast, mac-n-cheese, crêpes, vegan/vegetarian. Dine in or on a porch. $$ FB K B L D Daily LA MANCHA, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646. Spanish/ Portuguese cuisine with a Brazilian flair. Tapas, seafood, steaks, homemade sangria. Drink specials. AYCE paella Sunday. $$$ FB K TO D Nightly MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moonriver pizza.net. F 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic Northern-style pizzas, 20+ toppings, pie or slice. $ BW TO L D M-Sa The MUSTARD SEED CAFÉ, 833 Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Casual organic eatery, juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, herbal tea, daily specials. $$ TO B L M-Sa PABLO’S Mexican Restaurant Grill & Cantina, 12 N. Second St., 261-0049. Chicken, carnes, fajitas, burritos, tacos, daily specials, vegetarian. $$ FB K TO L D Daily The PECAN ROLL BAKERY, 122 S. Eighth St., 491-9815, thepecanrollbakery.com. F Near historic district. Sweet and savory pastries, cookies, cakes, bagels, breads; made from scratch. $ TO B L W-Su To list your restaurant, call your account manager or Sam Taylor, 860-2465 • staylor@folioweekly.com

DINING DIRECTORY KEY

AVERAGE ENTRÉE • COST •

$ = Less than $10 $$ = $10- $20 $$$ = $20- $35 $$$$ = $35 & up BW = Beer/Wine FB = Full Bar K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch L = Lunch D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted free FW Bite Club event. fwbiteclub.com 2015 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot

30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 22-28, 2016

HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, harpoonlouies.net. F Locally owned & operated 20+ years. American pub. 1/2-lb. burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta. Local beers, HH. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. PINEGROVE Market & Deli, 1511 PineGrove Ave., 389-8655, pinegrovemarket.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. 40+ years.

Burgers, Cubans, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher cuts USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. $ BW TO B L D M-Sa RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaur antorsay.com. 2015 BOJ winner. French/Southern bistro; local organic ingredients. Steak frites, mussels, pork chops.

Snail of Approval. $$$ FB R, Su; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simply saras.net. F Down-home fare from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D M-Sa, B Sa

BAYMEADOWS

AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

INDIA’S Restaurant, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajax.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetables, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L M-Sa; D Nightly LARRY’S Subs, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9, 737-7740.

8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., 425-9142. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO.

MINT INDIAN Restaurant, 8490 Baymeadows Rd., 367-1821, jaxmint.com. A new style of authentic, traditional Indian cuisine. Daily lunch buffet; HH. $ L D Daily NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 11030 Baymeadows Rd., 260-2791. SEE MANDARIN. PATTAYA THAI Grille, 9551 Baymeadows Rd., 646-9506, ptgrille.com. Family-owned 26+ years; serving new Thai, traditional, vegetarian; curries, noodles. Low-sodium, glutenfree, too. Open kitchen display. $$$ BW TO L D Tu-Su The WELL WATERING HOLE, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9, 737-7740, thewellwateringhole.com. Local craft beers,

MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573, mezzarestaurantandbar.com. F Near-the-ocean 20+ years. Casual bistro fare: gourmet wood-fired pizzas, nightly specials. Dine in, patio. $$$ FB K D M-Sa MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636, mojobbq.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Pulled pork, beef, chicken, Carolina-style, sides. $$ FB K TO L D Daily M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-2599, mshack burgers.com. 2015 BOJ winner. David and Matthew Medure flip burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes, more. Dine inside or out – people-watch at Beaches Town Center. $$ BW L D Daily NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 1585 Third St. N., 458-1390. SEE BAYMEADOWS. POE’S TAVERN, 363 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7637, poestavern.com. Gastropub, 50+ beers, gourmet burgers, handcut fries, fish tacos, Edgar’s Drunken Chili, daily fish sandwich special. $$ FB K L D Daily RAGTIME TAVERN & SEAFOOD GRILL, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F 30+ years, iconic seafood place. Blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily HH. $$ FB L D Daily SEACHASERS, 831 First St. N., 372-0444, seachasers.com.

New place; four dining areas: First Street Bar, Music Room, Beach Bar, Dining Room. Daily HH. Dine in or on patio. $$ FB L D Daily SLIDERS SEAFOOD GRILLE & OYSTER BAR, 218 First St., NB, 246-0881, slidersseafoodgrille.com. Beach-casual spot. Faves: Fresh fish tacos, gumbo. Key lime pie, ice cream sandwiches. $$ FB K L Sa/Su; D Nightly SNEAKERS SPORTS GRILLE, 111 Beach Blvd., 482-1000, sneakerssportsgrille.com. 2015 BOJ winner. 20+ tap beers, TVs. HH M-F. $ FB K L D Daily UGLY CUPCAKE MUFFINRY & Cafe, 115 Fifth Ave. S., 339-5214, theuglycupcakemuffinry.com. Sweet/ savory giant muffins, made from organic, locally sourced ingredients.

Outside seating. $$ TO B L Daily V PIZZA, 528 First St. N., 853-6633, vpizza.com. This new-ish place specializes in the art of traditional pizza Neapolitana, a rare class of artisan pizza from Naples – Italy, silly, not Florida. $$ FB TO L D Daily

DOWNTOWN

AKEL’S DELICATESSSEN, 21 W. Church St., 665-7324, akelsdeli.com. 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 125, 446-3119. F New York-style deli has breakfast, fresh made subs, specialty sandwiches, burgers, gyros, wraps, desserts, vegetarian items. $ TO B L M-F The CANDY APPLE CAFÉ & COCKTAILS, 400 N. Hogan St., 353-9717, thecandyapplecafe.com. Chef-driven cuisine, sandwiches, entrées, salads. HH Tu-F $$ FB K D Tu-Sa CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth St., 356-8282. F Chef Sam Hamidi serves Italian fare, 40+ years: veal, seafood, gourmet pizza. Homemade salad dressing. $ BW K L M-F; D M-Sa FIONN MacCOOL’S Irish Pub & Restaurant, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1547, fionnmacs.com. Casual dining, uptown Irish atmosphere; fish & chips, Guinness lamb stew, black-and-tan brownies. $$ FB K L D Daily FOLKFOOD, 219 N. Hogan St., 333-8392 Southern specialties, coastal cuisine like fried catfish, Florida citrus kale salad, blackened mahi mahi tacos, meatloaf with curry sauce, homestyle desserts made in-house daily. $ BW TO L D M-F INDOCHINE, 21 E. Adams St., Ste. 200, 598-5303, indo chinejax.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Thai, Southeast Asian cuisine. Signature dishes are chicken Satay, soft shell crab; mango, sticky rice dessert. $$ FB TO L D M-F; D Tu-Sa OLIO MARKET, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com.

F From-scratch soups, sandwiches. Duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L M-F; D F

FOLIO DINING : BITE-SIZED

ALL SHALL

photo by Brentley Stead

FALAFEL

The PROOF is on the PLATTER at The Olive Tree If falafel’s not your thing, you’ll still get THE BRIGHT SMILE AND HAPPY ATTITUDE fed — there are many other items they do of original owner Mona Kandah are the well. Like the chicken shwarma sandwich first things you’ll note at THE OLIVE TREE ($7.99), which would definitely keep Tony MEDITERRANEAN GRILLE in San Marco.

Stark happy after defending Jacksonville’s While Mona’s genuine warmth makes most notable Friendship Fountain. The fresh the experience special, it’s Olive Tree’s bold chicken is wrapped up in a light pita pocket, claim to some of the best falafel in town slathered in sauce, with lettuce and tomatoes. that gets attention. It’s routine for restaurant Mona also recommended the signature kiftah management to advertise that they make platter ($11.99), which is ground beef heavily “The Best (insert item here) EVER!” In this seasoned and dished over fluffy, flavorful rice case, though, I’m willing to back up Olive covered with juicy seasoned onions. And Tree and say they do serve some of the best Olive Tree offers drink specials and hookah falafel in NEFla. The second you order the pipes, too. stuff, you can see the staff At Olive Tree, nothing start to carefully form the THE OLIVE TREE lingers for even a moment semicircular shapes and MEDITERRANEAN GRILLE drop them in the fryer. from the grill, cutting 1705 Hendricks Ave., 396-2250 Consider yourself warned board, or fryer straight to theolivetreemediterraneangrille.com — fresh outta the fryer your plate. A variety of means each little falafel sauces are made in-house, is piping hot. The falafel platter ($10.99) like tzatiziki sauce, cucumber-yogurt sauce, includes two sides and pita; I usually tahini sauce and garlic dip (50 cents for extra choose tabouleh and hummus, because sauces). A nice thing about the portions? You they’re the best to mix and match as you can go as big as you want with a full sampler break open the falafel and pita. The tabouleh like the Combo Platter ($15.99), which salad is a happy mixture of tomatoes, includes kibbeh, best described as portable cucumbers, parsley, cracked wheat, and football-shaped beef packages, spinach pies, green onions, with a dressing Olive Tree meat or vegetarian grape leaves, falafels and makes in-house. sides. Or you can pick and choose, getting just The hummus is perfect in its simplicity, the right amount of grape leaves and spinach topped with a swirl of olive oil and a pies for a late afternoon snack. Whatever time sprinkle of paprika. The texture is so silky of day you go to Olive Tree, you’re sure to find and creamy, you’ll want to use it as liberally Mona smiling behind the counter. as I do. Slather it on pita, a sandwich, Brentley Stead tabouleh, or just eat it straight. bitesized@folioweekly.com JUNE 22-28, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 31

DINING DIRECTORY PINT-SIZED

Florida’s West Coast breweries offer POTENT POTABLES

BEER

BY THE

BAY

EVERY NOW AND THEN I LIKE TO GET OUT of town on a beercation, sometimes for just a couple of days or even more. Recently, I took a beercation to one of the hottest beer regions in Florida: Tampa.

Like Jacksonville, Tampa can trace its beer beginnings to the late 1800s. Eduardo Manrara, a business associate of Vicente Ybor — the genius who brought cigar manufacturing to what is now Ybor City — opened Ybor City Brewing Company near a freshwater spring around. The brewery was later renamed Florida Brewing Company.

Since then, Tampa’s beer industry has gone through ups and downs just like many across America. In 1959, Anheuser-Busch opened a brewery in Tampa which has since closed. But brewing, particularly craft brewing, began a slow upswing that eventually led to more than 50 craft breweries being built in the region.

I visited several breweries during my stay in the Tampa area; here’s what I found:

PINT-SIZED

ANGRY CHAIR BREWING COMPANY In the up-and-coming neighborhood of Seminole Heights, Angry Chair has a cozy neighborhood taproom that attracts a young, hip crowd knowledgeable about well-crafted beer. I tried an amazing sour called Kung Fuzu Apricot Sour. At only 4.7 percent ABV, it was a refreshing brew I will certainly try again.

TAMPA BEER WORKS This little brewery’s in an industrial park in the Tampa suburb of Brandon.

The tiny tap room is cooled by a single window air conditioner, but the brews are worth a visit.

A standout is the amusingly named Get Falked (named for the road where the brewery is located). This double IPA clocks in at 8.5 percent ABV, so if you drink too many you’re likely to get … well, you know. Unable to drive.

MARKER 48 BREWING COMPANY About an hour north of Tampa, mermaids swim in Weeki Wachee Springs near Marker 48. Built in a former auto-lube shop, this brewery is a labor of love for owners Tina and Maurice Ryman. It has a beer cellar in the old oil pits, a copper-topped bar with refrigeration lines running underneath to keep glasses cold, and a beer garden complete with a camper (soon to be an outdoor bar). My favorite brew at this inviting spot is a plum-infused version of its Knot Witty witbier.

YUENGLING BREWING COMPANY Since 1829, when David G. Yuengling established Eagle Brewery in Pottsville, Pennsylvania, Yuengling has been producing its distinctive quaff to slake East Coast drinkers’ thirst. The Tampa brewery opened in 1999 to help meet demand when Stroh’s shut down. A 45-minute walking tour reveals a wealth of history about the company and the family who still owns it. And there’s free beer at the end!

I still love our Northeast Florida breweries — and their tours — but when you’re away from home, remember there’s always time for beer.

Marc Wisdom marc@folioweekly.com 32 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 22-28, 2016

URBAN GRIND Coffee Company, 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 102, 866-395-3954, 516-7799, urbangrind.coffee. Variety of locally roasted whole bean brewed coffee, espressos, fresh pastries, smoothies, bagels, cream cheeses. Chicken salad (best ever), tuna salad, sandwiches. Free Wi-Fi. $ B L M-F URBAN GRIND Express, 50 W. Laura St., 516-7799. SEE ABOVE. ZODIAC BAR & GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283, thezodiacbarandgrill.com. 16+ years. Mediterranean cuisine, American fare, paninis, vegetarian dishes. Daily lunch buffet. Espressos, hookahs. HH W-Sa $ FB L M-F

FLEMING ISLAND

GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 1915 East-West Parkway, 541-0009. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. TAPS Bar & Grill, 1605 C.R. 220, Ste. 145, 278-9421, tapspublichouse.com. 50+ premium domestic, imported tap beers. Burgers, sandwiches, entrées. $$ FB K L D Daily WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteys fishcamp.com. F Real fish camp. Gator tail, freshwater catfish, daily specials, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar.

Come by boat, bike or car. $ FB K TO L Tu-Su; D Nightly

INTRACOASTAL WEST

AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980. F SEE ORANGE PARK. ORANGE TREE Hot Dogs, 3500 Beach, Ste. 43, 551-3661, orangetreehotdogs.com. Hot dogs, personal size pizzas since ’68. Hershey’s ice cream, milkshakes. $ K TO L D Daily SID & LINDA’S Seafood Market & Restaurant, 12220 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 109, 503-8276. Pick your own whole fresh fish, have it cleaned, filleted, cooked to order. Dine in, take out. Housemade sauces. $$ K TO L D Daily

MANDARIN, NW ST. JOHNS

AKEL’S DELI, 12926 Granbay Pkwy. W., 880-2008. F SEE DOWNTOWN.

AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199.

F 20+ years. Dolmades (stuffed grape leaves), baby shoes (stuffed eggplant). Greek beers. $$ BW L D M-F; D Sa FIRST COAST Deli & Grill, 6082 St. Augustine Rd., 733-7477.

Pancakes, bacon, sandwiches, burgers, wings. $ K TO B L Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 11362 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 3, 674-2945. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F 2015 BOJ winner. Now dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. F Organic soups, baked items, sandwiches, prepared foods. Juice, smoothie,coffee bar. All-natural, organic beers, wines.

Indoor, outdoor dining. $ BW TO K B L D Daily TAPS Bar & Grill, 2220 C.R. 210 W., Ste. 314, 819-1554.

SEE FLEMING ISLAND.

V PIZZA, 12601 San Jose Blvd., 647-9424. SEE SAN MARCO.

ORANGE PARK

The HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959, hilltop-club. com. Southern-style fine dining. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts.

Extensive bourbon selection. $$$ FB D Tu-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 165, 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 15, 272-3553. 5733 Roosevelt Blvd., 446-9500. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove, 284-7789, larryssubs.com.

F All over the area, Larry’s piles ’em high, serves ’em fast; 33+ years. Hot & cold subs, soups. Some Larry’s serve breakfast. $ K TO B L D Daily METRO DINER, 2034 Kingsley Ave., 375-8548. F 2015 BOJ winner. Now dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. PASTA MARKET Italian Restaurant & Clam Bar, 1930 Kingsley Ave., 276-9551, pastamarketitalianrestaurant. com. Family-owned-and-operated. Gourmet pizzas, veal, chicken, mussels, shrimp, grouper. Pastas: spaghetti, lasagna, fettuccine, ziti, calzones, linguini, tortellini. $$ BW K D Nightly SNACSHACK, 179 College Dr., Ste. 19, 682-7622, snac shack.menu. F Bakery and café; bagels, muffins, breads, cookies, brownies, snack treats. $$ K BW TO B L D Daily The URBAN BEAN Coffeehouse Café, 2023 Park Ave., 541-4938, theurbanbeancoffeehouse.com. Coffee, espresso, gourmet sandwiches, flatbreads, apps. $$ K TO B L D Daily

PONTE VEDRA BEACH

AL’S Pizza, 635 A1A, 543-1494. F 2015 BOJ. SEE BEACHES. LARRY’S Subs, 830 A1A N., Ste. 6, 273-3993. F SEE O. PARK.

RIVERSIDE, 5 PTS, WESTSIDE

13 GYPSIES, 887 Stockton St., 389-0330, 13gypsies.com.

2015 BOJ winner. Authentic Mediterranean peasant cuisine updated for Americans; tapas, blackened octopus, risotto of the day, coconut mango curry chicken. $$ BW L D Tu-Sa AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., Ste. 201, 388-8384. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

BLACK SHEEP Restaurant, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, blacksheep5points.com. New American, Southern; local source ingredients. Rooftop bar. $$$ FB R Sa/Su; L D Daily BREW FIVE POINTS, 1024 Park St., 714-3402, brewfive points.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Local craft beer, espresso, coffee, wine. Rotating drafts, 75+ can craft beers; sodas, tea.

Waffles, toasts, desserts, coffees. HH. $$ B L Su/M; B L D Tu-Sa COOL MOOSE CAFÉ, 2708 Park St., 381-4242, coolmoose cafe.net. New England-style café; full breakfast menu, classic sandwiches, wraps, soups, brunch all day Sunday.

Gourmet coffees. $$ BW R L D Tu-Su CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412, cornertaco.com.

Made-from-scratch “Mexclectic street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free, vegetarian options. $ BW L D Tu-Su DERBY on PARK, 1068 Park St., 379-3343. New American cuisine, upscale retro in historic landmark building. Shrimp & grits, lobster bites, 10-oz. gourmet burger. Dine inside or out. $$-$$$ FB B L D Tu-Su, R Sa/Su EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 2753 Park St., 384-9999. 2015 BOJ winner. 130+ import beers, 20 on tap. Sandwiches.

Outside dining at some EStreets. $ BW K L D Daily GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Juice bar uses certified organic fruits, vegetables. Artisanal cheeses, more than 300 craft, imported beers, 50 organic wines, and organic produce, meats, vitamins, herbs.

Organic wraps, sides, sandwiches. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS Asian Street Fare, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic dishes from mobile stalls. $ BW TO L D Daily HOBNOB, 220 Riverside Ave., Ste. 110, 513-4272, hobnobwithus.com. New place serves cuisine driven by

BISTRO AIX, 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox. com. F Mediterranean/French inspired; steak frites, oak-fired pizza, raw bar, seasonal selections. HH M-F $$$ FB L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 398-9500. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. $ BW K L D Daily FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusionsushijax.com. F Upscale sushi spot serves fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu. $$ K L D Daily INDOCHINE, 1974 San Marco Blvd., 503-7013. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE DOWNTOWN.

KITCHEN ON SAN MARCO, 1402 San Marco Blvd., 396-2344, kitchenonsanmarco.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Local, national craft beers, specialty cocktails, seasonal menu, fresh, locally sourced ingredients. $$ FB R Su; L D Daily MARDI GRAS SPORTS BAR, 123 San Marco Ave., 347-3288, mardibar.com. Wings, nachos, shrimp, chicken, Phillys, sliders, soft pretzels. $$ FB TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metro

GRILL ME!

SAM SOTTILE

TAPS BAR & GRILL

1605 C.R. 220, Fleming Island BORN IN: Charleston, South Carolina YEARS IN THE BIZ: 15 FAVE RESTAURANT (other than mine): Uptown Kitchen & Bar FAVE CUISINE STYLE: Southern or Gullah FAVE INGREDIENTS: Cilantro, tabasco, seafood WON'T CROSS MY LIPS: Grayson cheese (stinkiest cheese ever) IDEAL MEAL: Country-fried steak, mashed potatoes, gravy and green peas INSIDER'S SECRET: Keep moving, food is music, every note has been written, we create the order.

CELEBS (@ my place): Jacksonville Sharks coaches CULINARY TREAT: Ben & Jerry’s Americone Dream

global inspirations, local intentions – ahi poke tuna, jumbo lump crab tacos. $$ FB TO L D Brunch Daily IL DESCO, 2665 Park St., 290-6711, ildescojax.com.

Modern, authentic Italian cuisine. Handcrafted cocktails. $$-$$$ FB TO K L D Daily JOHNNY’S DELI & GRILLE, 474 Riverside Ave., 356-8055.

F Casual; made-to-order sandwiches, wraps, salads, breakfast. $ TO B L M-Sa LARRY’S Subs, 1509 Margaret, 674-2794. 7895 Normandy, 781-7600. 8102 Blanding, 779-1933. F SEE ORANGE PARK. LITTLE JOE’S CAFÉ by Akel, 245 Riverside Ave., Ste. 195, 791-3336. Riverview café serves soups, salads, signature salad dressings. $ TO B L M-F METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., 999-4600. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO.

MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442.

F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. MOSSFIRE GRILL, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434, mossfire.com. F Southwestern fish tacos, chicken enchiladas. HH M-Sa upstairs, all day Su $$ FB K L D Daily M SHACK, 1012 Margaret St., 423-1283. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

PATTAYA Thai Grille, 1526 King, 503-4060. SEE BAYMEADOWS. RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969. 2015 BOJ winner.

Bar food. $ D SBRAGA & Company, 220 Riverside Ave., Ste. 114, 746-0909, sbragadining.com. Chef Kevin Sbraga has a contemporary culinary approach to local influences. Go-to dishes: hog & hominy, fish fry, carrot ceviche. $$-$$$ FB TO L D Daily SOUTHERN ROOTS Filling Station, 1275 King St., 513-4726, southernrootsjax.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Healthy, light vegan fare; local, organic ingredients. Specials, on bread, local greens or rice, change daily. Coffees, teas. $ Tu-Su SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside, Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushi cafejax.com. F Monster, Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll.

Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. $$ BW L D Daily TIMOTI’S SEAFOOD SHAK, 1043 Park St., 374-8892.

Brand new. SEE AMELIA ISLAND.

ST. AUGUSTINE

AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

The FLORIDIAN, 72 Spanish St., 829-0655, thefloridian staug.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Updated Southern fare.

Vegetarian, gluten-free. Fried green tomato bruschetta; grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D W-M GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F Local mainstay 25+ years. Varied menu changes twice daily. Signature dish: Gypsy chicken.

Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. $$ FB R Su; L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. METRO DINER, 1000 S. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 758-3323.

F 2015 BOJ winner. Now dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. ONE TWENTY THREE Burger House, 123 King St., 687-2790.

From Carmelo’s owners. Premium burgers, made with beef from NYC butcher Schweid & Sons. Wood-fired pizzas, ice cream bar, Old World milkshakes. $$ BW K TO L D Daily

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

BASIL Thai & Sushi, 1004 Hendricks Ave., 674-0190, basilthaijax.com. F Authentic Pad Thai, curry, tempura, vegetarian, seafood, stir-fry, specials. HH. $$ FB L D M-Sa

diner.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Original upscale diner.

Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, soups. This Metro serves dinner nightly. $$ B R L Daily PIZZA PALACE, 1959 San Marco Blvd., 399-8815, pizza palacejax.com. F Family-owned-&-operated; spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, ravioli, lasagna. Dine outside. HH. $$ BW K TO L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco Blvd., 398-3005, tavernasan marco.com. Chef Sam Efron’s authentic Italian; local produce, meats, tapas, wod-fired pizza. Craft beers & cocktails. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily V PIZZA, 1406 Hendricks Ave., 527-1511, vpizza.com.

True Neapolitana pizzas with the freshest ingredients.

They claim a 55-second cook time – put them to the test. $$ FB L D Daily

SOUTHSIDE, TINSELTOWN

ALHAMBRA THEATRE & DINING, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. USA’s longest-running dinner theater; Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus.

Reservations. $$ FB D Tu-Su The CHATTY CRAB, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138C, 888-0639, chattycrab.com. Chef Dana Pollard’s raw oysters, Nawlins-style low country boil, po’ boys, 50¢ wing specials. $$ FB K TO L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717.

2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE.

GREEK STREET CAFÉ, 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Ste. 106, 503-0620, greekstreetcafe.com. Fresh, authentic, modern fare; Greek owners. Gyros, spanakopita, dolmades, falafel, salads, Greek nachos. $$ BW K TO L D M-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

MARIANAS GRINDS, 11380 Beach Blvd., Ste. 10, 206-612-6596. Pacific Islander fare, emphasizing chamorro culture. Soups, stews, fitada, beef oxtail, katden pika; spicy empanadas, lumpia, chicken relaguen, BBQstyle ribs, chicken. $$ TO B L D Tu-Su MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

MOXIE KITCHEN + Cocktails, 4972 Big Island Dr., 998-9744, moxiefl.com. BOJ winner. Chef Tom Gray’s venue has innovative contemporary American cuisine – seafood, steaks, pork, burgers, sides, desserts – using locally sourced ingredients when possible. $$$ FB K L M-F; D Nightly M SHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000. 2015 BOJ

winner. SEE BEACHES.

OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Br. Dr., 900-7730, ovinte.com.

2015 BOJ winner. European-style, influenced by Italy, Spain, Mediterranean. Small plates, entrée-size portions, charcuterie menu. 240-bottle/wines, 75/glass; craft spirits.

Dine outdoors. $$ FB R, Su; D Nightly RITA’S DELI, 9446 Philips Hwy., 806-3923. Sandwiches of Boar’s Head meats, cheeses. $$ BW TO L D M-Sa TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Ct., 854-0426, tavernayamas.com. F Bite Club. Char-broiled kabobs, seafood, wines, desserts. Daily HH. Bellydancing. $$ FB K TO L D Daily TOMMY’S Brick Oven Pizza, 4160 Southside Blvd., Ste. 2, 565-1999, tbopizza.com. NY-style thin crust, brickoven-cooked pizzas – gluten-free. Calzones, sandwiches, Thumann’s no-MSG meats, Grande cheeses. Boylan’s soda.

DINING DIRECTORY Curbside pickup. $$ BW K TO L D M-Sa TOSSGREEN, 4375 Southside Blvd., Ste. 12, 619-4356.

4668 Town Crossing Dr., Ste. 105, 686-0234. Custom salads, burrito bowls; fresh fruits, vegetables, 100% natural chicken breast, sirloin, shrimp, tofu, nuts, cheeses, dressings, sauces, salsas, frozen yogurt. $$ K L D Daily

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

HOLA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1001 N. Main St., 356-3100, holamexicanrestaurant.com. F Authentic fajitas, burritos,

specials, enchiladas. HH; sangria. $ BW K TO L D M-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 12001 Lem Turner Rd., 764-9999.

SEE ORANGE PARK.

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 15170 Max Leggett Pkwy., 757-8843.

F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MOLLY BROWN’S PUB & GRILL, 2467 Faye Rd., 683-5044, mollybrownspubandgrill.com. F American (traditional), brunch, burgers, diner fare, hot dogs, sandwiches, seafood, Southern, vegetarian dishes. $$ FB TO L D Daily

CHEFFED-UP

You might ‘never have seen a grit before’ but you can still COOK ‘EM UP DELICIOUS’

STONE GROUND

HEAVEN

I RAN ACROSS A TRAILER FROM ONE OF my old favorite movies My Cousin Vinny.

You remember the breakfast scene where Vinny asks, “What is a grit anyways”, and the cook says, “Them’s hominy grits.” Well, it got me thinking about this old Southern staple and how much its popularity has grown, especially with foodies.

I can still remember my first experience with grits. I was traveling in the South on vacation as a child when I was served this mound of watery, tasteless mush topped with butter. I was not impressed. They were terrible, and it took many, many years before I would try grits again.

Quality grits somehow fell victim to the convenience food demons. The process of grinding grits changed from using cold stonerollers to produce a course, nutrient packed meal to using steel rollers to produce a fine, flavor and nutrition free, grain. The other blow to grits came from switching the strains of corn. The industry began using corn strains in which corn flavor was exchanged for maximum yield. The result of this: Quick Grits. Yuck!

But lucky for us, Anson Mills came to the rescue. In the late 1990s Anson Mills, a small startup company near Columbia, South Carolina, began grinding an antebellum strain of corn discovered in an old moonshiner’s field. In 2000 Anson mills began to distribute these high quality stone ground grits to chefs in the South.

I can still remember the first time I tasted these white hominy grits. I was running a restaurant in a Ritz in Northern Virginia when I was given a sample bag.

Wow, freakin’ awesome! These are the stuff that dreams are truly made of. I can shut my eyes right now and see them simmering away; blop, blop, blop, like molten lava, delicious, creamy, corn flavored, molten lava. Unfortunately for the average gritloving consumer, these Anson Mills stone ground grits were only available in bulk.

It was still many years before Anson Mills began to offer these flavor bombs

for retail sales online. Now there are other companies selling equally awe inspiring stone ground grits. The best is Geechie Boy from Edisto Island South Carolina.

If you haven’t experienced these wonderful, soul satisfying flavor sensations then I feel very sorry for you. I’m shutting my eyes right now, and there they go, blop, blop, blop, now for a little cheese and lots of butter. That’s it. Time to make my dream a reality; I’m gonna cook some. Try this version of mine.

CHEFFED-UP

CHEF BILL’S STONE GROUND GRITS Ingredients: • 1 cup stone ground grits • 1/2 cup chicken stock • 3 and 1/2 cups milk • 1.5 oz. butter • 1/2 tsp. salt • 4 oz. white cheddar, shredded • 2 oz. goat’s cheese • 3 oz. butter • Salt and pepper to taste Directions: 1. Heat stock and milk in a saucepan, whisk in the grits.

2. Add a little salt and pepper and continue stirring.

3. Simmer on low heat for about 45-60 minutes, stirring frequently.

4. After 45 minutes, check to see if the grains are beginning to soften, then add the cheese and butter.

5. Adjust the seasoning and enjoy!

Until we cook again, Chef Bill cheffedup@folioweekly.com ___________________________________ Contact Chef Bill Thompson, owner of Amelia Island Culinary Academy in Historic Fernandina Beach, with your recipes or questions at cheffedup@folioweekly.com, for inspiration to get you Cheffed Up! JUNE 22-28, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 33

PETS LOOKIN’ FOR LOVE FOLIO

W E E K LY

FOLIO LIVING

PET

LOVERS’

Beat the HEAT with chilly treats!

DEAR DAVI

THE COOLEST

CANINES

Dear Davi, Ooh wee! It was so hot outside today, I saw two trees fighting over a young pup who was, um, eager for some relief! How can I keep cool during the dog days of summer?

Clay the Coonhound Clay,

Summer heat is unrelenting, isn’t it? A spike in temperatures can leave us panting for air. What you need is a chilly treat to beat this heat. Try one of these delicious frozen goodies made from fresh summer fruits and naturally energizing foods. They are easy to make and taste great!

FROSTY WATERMELON TREAT Watermelon is packed with nutrients — vitamins A, B6, and C, and potassium – and low in calories – only about 50 calories per cup and 92 percent water, so it’s great for hydration on a hot day. It also has no fat or cholesterol, so it’s pretty much guilt-free. Coconut water is a natural source of electrolytes and any dog suffering from a gastrointestinal problem can keep from becoming dehydrated by lapping up a cup.

Ingredients: 2 cups seedless watermelon 1 cup coconut water 1 tablespoon honey (optional) Directions: Scoop out watermelon and remove seeds – seeds can cause intestinal blockage.

Blend watermelon until smooth.

Add coconut water and honey to watermelon.

Blend together.

Pour into ice cube trays.

Freeze and serve.

STRAWBERRY SMOOTHIES Strawberries are full of antioxidants. They also boast high fiber, lots of vitamin C, and even contain an enzyme that can help whiten your teeth. Yogurt is a great source of calcium and zinc, and contain probiotics that help with digestion.

Ingredients: 1 cup strawberries 8 ounces yogurt 1 cup water

Directions: Blend all ingredients Pour into ice cube trays.

Freeze and serve FROZEN BANANA SURPRISE This potassium rich snack will help you replenish your energy after a long day of play.

Peanut Butter is a good source of protein, vitamins, and healthy fats.

Ingredients: 4 cups plain yogurt 2 tablespoons peanut butter 3 bananas, ripe, peeled & mashed 2 tablespoons honey (optional) Directions: Blend all the ingredients together.

Pour into small paper cups.

Place dog bone in mixture to serve as a tasty handle.

Freeze until firm.

Pop the treat out of the cup and enjoy!

BANANA BLUEBERRY ICE CREAM Blueberries contain powerful antioxidants and vitamins that protect against disease and strengthen overall health. Bananas are rich in potassium and low in sodium.

Ingredients: 2 Frozen bananas 1/2 cup of blueberries Directions: Freeze bananas and blueberries for 2 to 3 hours Cut banana into small pieces.

Blend banana and blueberries into a smooth and creamy mixture.

Serve immediately as a soft creamy ice cream or freeze it for an hour for frozen treat.

TREAT TIPS PUP-sicles can be made out of all kinds of foods you eat regularly, so experiment to see what works best for you.

Frozen veggies also make a quick and healthy treat – green beans and peas are my favorite.

Fresh fruits strengthen the immune system and help maintain a healthy weight.

PET TIP: YOU BETTA YOUR LIFE LOOKING FOR AN EVEN “BETTA” FISH? Dumb puns aside, the Siamese fighting fish, or Betta splendens, are popular pets recognizable by beautiful hues that range from red and blue to turquoise and copper. Male Bettas are aggressive towards other males of their species. That’s why they’re sold in individual containers, lest an underwater death match breaks out. Gamblers used to pit the males against one another for high stakes rumbles.

(Female Bettas are generally are more amenable to cohabitation.)

Male Bettas will bow up, or “flare” at their reflection. Adjust lighting so it doesn’t hit the glass of their aquarium and place a scenic background in the tank to reduce the fish’s ability to see its own reflection. Although male Bettas might issue whoopass on their kind, they make mellow tank mates with some other species.

34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 22-28, 2016

GUIDE

Davi mail@folioweekly.com

PET EVENTS DOG WASH FOR A GOOD CAUSE • Three local pet grooming providers are participating in Paws for Pulse, a nationwide dog wash fundraiser for the victims of the Pulse Orlando shooting. Fluffy Cuts, 2185 3rd St. S. Jax Beach; Groomingdales Dog Salon, 4424 Hendricks Ave., San Marco; and Switch Blade,

ADOPTABLES

.

CECELIA

I’M BREAKING YOUR HEART Won’t you come adopt me? I’m a sweet, mature lady with nothing but love to give.

I know my basic commands and there is nothing more I love than a melody. Come meet me! I’m begging you, please, take me home.

Home, home, home!

Get more information at jaxhumane.org.

26 Mitchell Ct., Orange Park. All of the proceeds will be donated. July 3, 10 a.m. – 2:30 p.m. Minimum donations: $10 (small breed), $15 (medium breed), $20 (large breed). pawsforpulse.com.

MEGA ADOPTION EVENT • First Coast No More Homeless Pets is hosting a Mega Adoptions to help ease the burden on local animal shelters and find forever homes for oodles of furry friends. July 15-17, 10 a.m. – 6 p.m., Jacksonville Fairgrounds, 510 Fairgrounds Place, Downtown. fcnmhp.org/show-you-care/adopt-a-pet.

ADOPTABLES

ROSIE

CRACKLIN’ IS MY THING Are you looking for a once in a lifetime love?

That’s me! I love to purr and want nothing more than a tenderhearted human to call my own, one that I can keep runnin’! Why not slap a (Neil) Diamond on my paw and lock this down for life? Come meet me at JHS! For more info on adopting the love of a lifetime, visit jaxhumane.org.

VACCINATION CLINICS • VetCo routinely offers lowercost vaccination services at PetCo stores in the area.

Upcoming vaccinations events are: June 26, 1:30 p.m. – 3:30 p.m., 11990 Atlantic Blvd., Southside; and June 26, 5 – 6 p.m., 1514 County Rd. 220, Fleming Island. vetcoclinics.com.

To list a pet event, send event name, time, date, location (complete street address and city), admission price, contact number/website to print, to mdryden@folioweekly.com – at least two weeks before the event.

JUNE 22-28, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35

FREEWILL ASTROLOGY

FOLIO WEEKLY MAGAZINE CROSSWORD by DALE RATERMANN. Presented by

SAN MARCO 2044 San Marco Blvd.

398-9741

PONTE VEDRA

THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA

330 A1A North 280-1202

FERMENTATION, STRADIVARIUS, ALIGNMENT, DRUNK MONKEYS & THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND

SOUTHSIDE

AVONDALE 3617 St. Johns Ave. 10300 Southside Blvd.

388-5406 394-1390 AVENUES MALL

FOLIO CROSSWORD 1 4 9 14 15 16 17 18 19 20

23 24 25 28 32 35 37 38

43 44 45 48 53 54 56 1

47 Prepare pupils 57 Duval County seat 26 Ponder ACROSS if the founders 27 Jax Zoo favorite for an exam F1 neighbor had only a 29 Southern gal 49 DOJ arm Nat Glover's sign sawbuck?

30 Glade shade 50 Put off guard I-84 capital city 63 Courtney Lewis 31 Southeast Asian 51 Twist together Orsay menu beat 33 Shrovetide dish 52 Climb aboard phrase 65 Osprey's abode 34 Moray, for one 55 Carnegie Unspoken 66 Daytona 500 part 36 Loaded org. foundation Sleep disorder 67 Quantum events 38 Keep off 58 Date, for short Travis Hutson's 68 Coquette 39 Kilkenny fella 59 Spanish ___ pos.

40 ___ Olas Beach 60 JU test UF sorority letter 69 Green, in a way 70 Dime word 41 JFRD ambulance 61 Not final, to Ocean contents Farah abbr.

Duval County seat 71 Jeb's middle name 62 Flying formations 72 JAX destination 42 Lab inspector if Native 63 RN's forte 43 Tebowing, once Americans helped 64 Width of Tripoli?

46 Rick Scott's the Brits win the DOWN grandson War of 1812?

1 A time to dye Holiday kickoffs 2 Record holder Local chowder guy 3 ATM button WJXX early show 4 UNF physics Solution to 6.15.16 Puzzle Tag again class bit S P A R A T S E A A R E A Go on the wagon 5 Jags foes L O L L S T O L D T O T O Splashy style 6 Slushy treat O S A K A A T M S A T O M Car option 7 Start of Tampa's P E R N I N E W E S T Duval County area code C O C O A U S E R I D G E seat if being 7th 8 Barrel slats L O P D N A I L K E N E was unlucky and E D T A G O I S E E 9 Cry a river 13th lucky?

Z E R O T O L E R A N C E 10 Underwood's gem Born to be wild C O P E E W E M L K 11 Calculus branch Church chorus A N I U R N S S T P R O 12 "Get it?"

Ouzo flavoring S A W A S H E N R E C A P 13 Corn unit C C S F O U R T O P S Suppresses 21 Burn Notice P U T O N O B O E E C R U Driller's deg. network I N E P T M I T T T O O T Fleur-de-____ 22 St. Johns County T O R S O P A S S C O D E Suns ploy Court vow 2

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36 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 22-28, 2016

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “The past lives on in art and memory,” writes author Margaret Drabble, “but it is not static: it shifts and changes as the present throws its shadow backwards.” That’s a fertile thought for you to meditate on during the coming weeks. Why? Because your history will be in a state of dramatic fermentation.

The old days and the old ways will be mutating every which way. I hope you will be motivated, as a result, to rework the story of your life with flair and verve.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “Critics of text-messaging are wrong to think it’s a regressive form of communication,” writes poet Lily Akerman. “It demands so much concision, subtlety, psychological art – in fact, it’s more like pulling puppet strings than writing.” I bring this thought to your attention, because the coming weeks will be an excellent time for you to apply the metaphor of text-messaging to pretty much everything you do. You will create interesting ripples of success as you practice the crafts of concision, subtlety, and psychological art.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): During my careers as a writer and musician, many “experts” have advised me not to be so damn faithful to my muse. Having artistic integrity is a foolish indulgence that would ensure my eternal poverty, they have warned. To be successful, I’ve got to sell out, water down my unique message and pay homage to generic formulas favored by celebrity artists. I ignored the experts. As a result, my soul has thrived and I earned enough money from my art to avoid starvation. Does my path apply to you? Maybe.

What if, in your case, it would be better to sell out a little and be, say, just 75 percent faithful to your muse? The next 12 months will be an excellent time for you to figure this out once and for all.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): My meditations have generated six metaphorical scenarios that will symbolize the contours of your life story during the next 15 months: 1. A claustrophobic tunnel that leads to a sparkling spa; 2. A 19th-century Victorian vase filled with 13 fresh wild orchids; 3. An immigrant who, after tenacious effort, receives a green card from her new home country; 4. An eleven-year-old child capably playing a 315-year-old Stradivarius violin; 5. an empty-nester who falls in love with the work of an ecstatic poet; 6. a humble seeker who works hard to get the help necessary to defeat an old curse.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Joan Wasser is a Leo singer-songwriter who is known by her stage name “Joan As Police Woman.” In her song “The Magic,” she repeats one line fourteen times: “I’m looking for the magic.” For two reasons, I propose that we make that your mantra in the coming weeks. First, practical business-as-usual will not provide the uncanny transformative power you need.

Nor will rational analysis or habitual formulas. You will have to conjure, dig up, or track down some real magic. My second reason for suggesting “I’m looking for the magic” as your mantra is this: You’re not yet ripe enough to secure the magic, but you can become ripe enough by being dogged in your pursuit of it.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Renowned martial artist Bruce Lee described the opponent he was most wary of: “I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.” In my astrological opinion, you should regard that as one of your keystone principles during the next 12 months. Your power and glory will come from honing one specific skill, not experimenting restlessly with many different skills. And the coming weeks will be en excellent time to set your intention.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): To celebrate my birthday, I’m taking time off from dreaming up original thoughts and creative spurs.

For this horoscope, I’m borrowing some of the BOLD Laws of author Dianna Kokoszka. They’re in sweet alignment with your omens for the next 13 months.

Take it away, Dianna. 1. Focus on the solution, not the problem. 2. Complaining is a garbage magnet.

3. What you focus on expands. 4. Do what you have always done, and you will get what you have always gotten. 5. Don’t compare your insides to other people’s outsides. 6. Success is simple, but not easy.

7. Don’t listen to your drunk monkey. 8. Clarity is power. 9. Don’t mistake movement for achievement.

10. Spontaneity is a conditioned reflex. 11. People grow into the conversations you create around them.

12. How you participate here is how you participate everywhere. 13. Live your life by design, not default.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): No pressure, no diamond. No grit, no pearl. No cocoon, no butterfly. All these clichés will be featured themes for you during the next 12 months.

But I hope you will also come up with fresher ways to think about the power and value that can be generated by tough assignments. If you face your exotic dilemmas and unprecedented riddles armed with nothing more than your culture’s platitudes, you won’t be able to tap into the untamed creativity necessary to turn problems into opportunities. Here’s an example of the kind of original thinking you’ll thrive on: The more the growing chamomile plant is trodden upon, the faster it grows.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The royal courts of Renaissance England often employed professional fools whose job it was to speak raw or controversial truths with comedic effect. According to the Royal Shakespeare Company, Queen Elizabeth once castigated her fool for being “insufficiently severe with her.” The modern-day ombudsman has some similarities to the fool’s function. He or she is hired by an organization to investigate complaints lodged by the public against the organization. Now would be an excellent time for you to have a fool or ombudsman in your sphere. You’ve got a lot of good inklings, but some of them need to be edited, critiqued, or perhaps even satirized.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Capricorn journalist Katie Couric is a best-selling author who has interviewed five American presidents and had prominent jobs at three major TV networks.

What’s her secret to success? She says her goal is to be as ingratiating and charming as she can be without making herself throw up. I don’t often recommend this strategy for you, but I do now. The coming weeks will be prime time for you to expand your web of connections and energize your relationships with existing allies by being almost too nice. To get what you want, use politeness as your secret weapon.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “The water cannot talk without the rocks,” says aphorist James Richardson. Does that sound like a metaphor you’d like to celebrate in the coming weeks?

I hope so. From what I can tell, you will be like a clean, clear stream rippling over a rocky patch of riverbed.

The not-really-all-that-bad news is that your flow may feel erratic and jerky. The really good news is that you will be inspired to speak freely, articulately, and with creative zing.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Every now and then you may benefit from being a bit juvenile, even childlike. You can release your dormant creativity by losing your adult composure and indulging in free-form play. In my astrological opinion, this is one of those phases for you. It’s high time to lose your cool in the best possible ways. You have a duty to explore the frontiers of spontaneity and indulge in I-don’t-give-a-cluck exuberance. For the sake of your peace-of-soul and your physical health, you need to wriggle free of at least some of your grown-up responsibilities so you can romp and cavort and frolic.

Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

NEWS OF THE WEIRD APP NAUSEAM

In May, the Norwegian Consumer Council staged a live, 32-hour TV broadcast marathon a word-for-word reading of the “terms of service” for internet applications Instagram, Spotify, and more than two dozen others, totaling 900 pages and 250,000 words of legal restrictions and conditions that millions of users “voluntarily” agree to when they sign up (usually via a mouse click or finger swipe). A council official called such terms “bordering on the absurd,” as consumers could not possibly understand everything they were legally binding themselves to. (The reading was another example of Norway’s fascination with “slow TV” the success of other marathons, such as coverage of a world-record attempt at knitting yarn and five 24-hour days on a salmon-fishing boat, mentioned in News of the Weird in 2013.)

GOVERNMENT IN ACTION!

The Defense Department still uses 1980s-era 8-inch floppy disks on computer systems that handle part of America’s “nuclear umbrella,” including ballistic missiles. Also, according to a May report by the Government Accountability Office, systems using 1970s-era COBOL programing language are still used for key functions of the Justice Department and Internal Revenue Service, among others (including Veterans Affairs, for tracking beneficiary claims). Agencies have reported recruiting retired employees to return to fix glitches in operating systems long since abandoned by Microsoft and others.

AND YOUR BIRD CAN SING

In a recent book, biologist Jennifer Ackerman noted the extraordinary intelligence of birds, attributed to the dense packing of neurons in their equivalent of a human’s cerebral cortex (according to an April Wall Street Journal review of Ackerman’s The Genius of Birds).

For example, the New Caledonia crow, among others, knows how to make and use hooked tools to hide food (and retrieve it from trickyto-reach places), and the blue jay and others, which store many thousands of seeds during autumn, also steal seeds from less-vigilant birds — and even return to re-hide food if they sense they were seen storing it earlier. Additionally,

the birds’ equivalent of the human larynx is so finely tuned, it’s regarded as the most sophisticated sound in all of nature.

MORE ADVENTURES OF THE EASILY OFFENDED

(1) A March video featured a black San Francisco State University woman angrily confronting a white student, accusing him of “cultural appropriation” because he was wearing his hair in dreadlocks. (2) A March fitness club ad pitch in Sawley, England, picturing an extraterrestrial with the caption, “And when they arrive, they’ll take the fat ones first,” was denounced by an anti-bullying organization as “offensive.” (3) A May busstop ad for a San Francisco money lender (“10 percent down. Because you’re too smart to rent”) was derided for “ooz(ing) selfcongratulatory privilege.”

UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT

Gainesville, Florida, performance artist Tom Miller planned a public piece in a downtown plaza during May and June as homage to the music composer John Cage’s celebrated “4’33” (which is four minutes and 33 seconds of purposeful silence by all musicians who “play” on the piece). Miller said his project would consist of local artists “installing” sculpture at 15-minute intervals for five days except that the “sculpture” would have to be imagined by observers, as (in the tradition of Cage) nothing otherwise perceptible would be there.

THE CONTINUING CRISIS

Tex-ass Justice! Convicted murderer Charles Flores was on Texas’ death row for more than 16 years (until June 2 of this year) before the state’s highest criminal appeals court finally ruled that the execution might not be justified if the most important evidence was provided by a witness whom the police had hypnotized.

The trial judge, and the jury, had accepted that “hypnosis” could lead to “recovered” memory (a popular hypothesis in the 1980s and 1990s, but largely discredited today). There was no physical evidence against Flores, and the trial court was ordered to rethink the validity of hypnosis.

Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net

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Second Wednesday in June. Didn’t get loan; might’ve found so much more! When: June 8. Where: Vystar. #1615-0622 YOU’RE IN MY THOUGHTS There’s still not a day I don’t think of you. Since the first time ISU while sitting in that car, I can’t shake thoughts of you. Live long. Love hard. I will. When: Feb. 2, 2016. Where: Neighborhood. #1614-0622 JOIN YOUR SWIM TEAM Me: Attractive in two-piece bathing suit. You: Swimming; American flag tat on arm, making me hot as you chilled in the pool. Really want to skinny dip with you. ;) When: June 3. Where: Greentree Place Apts. Pool. #1613-0622 FRIDAY BIKE-TO-WORK DAY You: Blue jeans, black tank top, red Motobecane bicycle, great smile. Didn’t get a chance to get your name. Me: Doing the bike thing. Are you up for a ride? When: May 20. Where: Hemming Plaza. #1612-0608 HANDSOME EDUCATED HARLEY RIDER We instantly hit it off talking. I tried to quickly give you my number.

I was on a blind date that was NOT meant to be. I’d like to have a chance to continue our conversation. When: May 22. Where: River City Brewing Co. #1611-0608 DANCIN’ IN THE STREETS CUTIE You: Short, big white hat, gorgeous eyes, with friend outside bookstore. Me: Sunglasses, tan, wanted to flirt. We locked eyes. I got brave, you were gone – kicking myself since. Won’t hesitate again. Share a dance?

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Where: Publix Riverside. #1597-0224 JUNE 22-28, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37

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38 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 22-28, 2016

FOLIO O OV VOICES OICES : BACKPAGE C G E EDITORIAL DITORIA DI

PUTTING HATRED

THANKFULLY I DIDN’T LOSE THE BIG SALE THAT day. As big as the commission was, it wasn’t long after work that I realized how humongous a payday that sale had cost me. This had nothing at all to do with my sales skills or any lack thereof, but rather with a facet of the current socio-political climate of the nation.

I sell mattresses for a major national retailer. That day at work was just like any other, a few small sales, a few big ones.

The best sale that day was to a wonderful newlywed couple named T—and J—. They got a king-size Sealy hybrid, going all out with new pillows and mattress protectors and a bonded leather headboard. They were happy with the bed, I was happy with the sale.

How happy seemed less so that night when I turned on the news and it hit me how huge of a financial opportunity I had just let slip through my fingers. The lead story was on the latest Human Rights Ordinance bill failing to be passed by the Jacksonville City Council.

If I only had had the wherewithal to exploit this failure of equality under the law, I could have cashed in on a mindset that would have punched my ticket to easy street.

Because T—and J—, the loving couple to whom I had sold a new bed that day, were both women. They were a lesbian couple, and I know that bothers a lot of people. It bothers these people so much that if I were to tap into that bother, I could easily set myself up as the newest posterboy of that mindset’s hatred and fear.

All I would have had to do was refuse the lesbian couple’s business. Just let them know that because they sleep with each other my life outlook precludes me from serving them, and then ask them to leave the store. When that was done all I would have to do is sit back and let the social media hoopla run its course.

The shit storm would most likely start with some tempestuous complaints from T—and J— online. Friends share with friends, memes spawn memes, it probably wouldn’t take long for the story to go viral and spin around the globe. Facebook, Twitter and Instagram would erupt with headlines and hashtags “Major Bed Retailer Refuses to Serve Gay Couple.”

“Mattress Salesman is the New Kim Davis.”

Local and national press would descend upon my store, looking for sound bites and video clips. I would have my rehearsed catch phrases at the ready: “God Made Adam and Eve Not Adam and Steve,” “I don’t hate gays

TO BED

Mattress ss sa salesman alesman M MISSES ISSES O OPPORTUNITY PPORTUNITY to become a conservative pundit – I have friends who are gay.” Perhaps I’ll begin dressing a bit more conservatively as the situation develops. Maybe an American Flag pin on my lapel, a crucifix on my collar.

As I garnered more and more attention I would undoubtedly get fired. But by that time I wouldn’t need it any more.

Because by that time I would already have started out on my whirlwind press junket.

My days would be an endless stream of television and radio appearances, primarily on conservative media venues, sometimes as a lightning rod on liberal outlets. I’d serve as keynote speaker at rallies of bigotry and hatred across the country. I’d be invited onto panel shows, would receive standing ovations at conservative think-tank events, might even get an audience with the Pope.

As we are currently in an election cycle, I’d expect any number of conservative candidates to shamelessly latch onto me, marching me out at campaign gatherings and town halls as the avatar of any particular party’s values.

I’d be the latest Flavor of the Day, the most current vehicle through which the message of hatred is kept alive and consistent. My only role would be to hold high the hate torch of the billionaire businessmen and the special interest groups and the hypocritical religious leaders.

I’d be the figurehead of the mindset, drumming up fear and loathing based solely on whom someone loves, whom someone sleeps with. The hordes of scared and angry Americans who are hungry for a sympathetic sounding board on which to hang their hatred would eat up every vile syllable that dripped from my lips. They’d worship me as their hero, their messiah, an agent of their imaginary sky-friend. I would be the grizzled frontline veteran against the imagined War on Their Religion. I would be the latest buffoon they moronically compare to Rosa Parks or MLK or Susan B. Anthony. I would be offered my own show on Fox News. I would be worshipped as the holiest of role models, poised to go down in history as a pioneering voice of all that is right and sacred in their eyes.

But really.

I don’t believe any of that “going down in history as a hero” nonsense. Not at all. In fact,

I don’t believe much of anything that comes from any sector that would hold me up as a hero in such a situation. A quick internet search is enough to show how conservative figures involved in periods of civil rights unrest are treated by history.

While seen as heroes by some at the immediate time, changing viewpoints over time results in these people going through the rest of recorded history as symbols of abject hatred. From segregation’s most vocal proponents to WWII internment camp to those taking axehandles to suffragette marches; the bakery owner, the wedding planner, the county clerk, the [faux] lesbianhating mattress salesman, distilled through time into two-dimensional figureheads of ignorance and bigotry.

So rather than risk a besmirched legacy, I will focus on addressing the source of this hatred in the here and now. The key lies in identifying what could be turning seemingly ordinary citizens into crabby, snarling vipers of bile and vitriol and other sundry unpleasantness. My current career most definitely lends me to surmise that the cause of all this fear and anger is that these fearful and angry people are that way because they are just not getting a good night’s sleep on a really good mattress. My experience in the industry has taught me that a night spent tossing and turning on an improper or wornout mattress can turn even the gentlest soul into an ogre.

That being the case, the solution is a simple one. To all those folks who are currently engulfed in a miasma of misdirected racism and prejudice, misogyny and xenophobia and homophobia, let me get you on a good mattress that’s going to give you the great night’s sleep that will allow you to wake up each morning in the happiest and sunniest of moods. Mention this editorial and I‘ll get you a really good deal.

No matter whom you sleep with.

Johnny Masiulewicz mail@folioweekly.com _____________________________________ Johnny Masiulewicz is a writer and mattress salesman.

JUNE 22-28, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 39