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THIS WEEK // 7.20-7.26.16 // VOL. 29 ISSUE 16 COVER R STORY

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Did a candidate for CLAY COUNTY SHERIFF use a police vehicle to go to a FULL-NUDE STRIP CLUB? story by NIKKI SANDERS

FEATURED ARTICLES FEATURED

THE THIRD WAY

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MIDLIFE THESIS

BY AG GANCARSKI Why are REPUBLICANS CONSIDERING Gary Johnson and William Weld?

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BY TIM GILMORE Chamblin’s turns 40

HOOKED UP

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BY NICK MCGREGOR The Connection Festival returns with another KILLER LINEUP of musical styles for every taste

COLUMNS + CALENDARS FROM THE EDITOR OUR PICKS MAIL/B&B FIGHTIN’ WORDS NEWS ARTS

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FROM THE EDITOR

You don’t need TESTICLES to be a misogynist

THE ENEMY WITHIN THE WAR AGAINST WOMEN IS REAL. It’s not just that we’re taxed for tampons while bald men regrow hair tax-free — or that we make less money for the same work — or that we’re barbarically mutilated to keep us “chaste” — or that we encounter body, fat, slut and age shaming on the daily — or that we get blamed for our own sexual assaults — or that we are denigrated and harassed in the streets, in our places of work, even in our own homes — or that one of the highest compliments you can pay the proud father of a baby girl is that he’s going to have a hard time keeping boys away when she grows up, as if her becoming a sexually active adult woman is a bad thing — or being a working mother means we can have it all if we also do the shopping, the cleaning, put the kids to bed and do the dishes.

It’s all of it.

But the worst thing about the war on women is that women are fighting on both sides; women actively perpetuate stereotypes and gender discrimination against women.

If you are a married working mother who complains that you have to do the lion’s share of parenting and housework and work fulltime, you’re part of the problem. You whine about unfairness when you should insist on equality. If you have ever made fun of another woman because she was fat, or ugly, or didn’t do her hair, makeup, wear heels or a bra, you’re part of the problem, too. By the same token, if you’ve judged a woman because her skirt was too short, her top too tight, her pants too revealing, her makeup too thick, her hair too dyed, you’re also to blame. You mock and mistreat when you should protect and defend.

Too many women are the Uncle Toms of our gender.

This morning, I saw a photo on social media of a woman un-ironically cheesing beside a sign that said, “Donald Trump: the candidate with balls.”

Seems innocuous, maybe even a little bit funny, right?

Now imagine a black person posing next to a sign that says, “Hillary Clinton: the right race to win the race.” Or a Muslim next to a sign that says, “John Rutherford: his god’s the better god.”

Why is it that the latter are so clearly offensive and inappropriate while the reaction

to the former is at best a shrug? They’re all basically the same.

We don’t get riled up over a woman posing next to a sign that essentially says she’s not equal to a man because a lot of women still believe that it’s true. Women believe the fallacy that being born with a labia and a uterus equates to being less competent, intelligent and correct.

Yes, on average men are by far the more flagrant misogynists. They’re largely the ones mutilating, harassing, discriminating, exploiting and stuffing dollars into young girls’ thongs the world over. But they wouldn’t get away with it if we didn’t let them. But when we, like the Washington Post’s Robin Givhan, tear down another woman, such as thennominee, now Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor, because she’s “dowdy” and seldom wears lipstick, we’re fighting gender equality.

When we hold other women to different standards than we’d hold a man, we’re pushing the movement backward. You don’t have to stop wearing makeup or give up on mastering the fine art of cooking the perfect coq au vin; you just have to allow your sisters the freedom to wear, cook, clean and behave as they wish without passing judgment.

We need to stop seeing each other as the enemy and holding each other down. We need to start standing up for each other and, if we have to, fight back together. We’re more than half of the population, ladies. Think of what we could accomplish if we worked together instead of ripping each other apart.

Yes, many of us have been victims, we’ve been traumatized and abused, we’ve been coerced and cultured and indoctrinated into believing that we’re inferior to men. It is understandable that we’re still learning to believe in our equality.

After all, it wasn’t so many years ago that all women in this country couldn’t vote (1920), couldn’t sue for gender discrimination (1964), couldn’t have our husbands arrested for raping us (1993), couldn’t serve in certain combat positions in the military (2016).

We’ve come a long way, but there’s much work to be done to achieve equality. We’ll accomplish a lot more — and faster — if we stop allowing ourselves to perpetuate the problem and instead become part of the solution.

Claire Goforth claire@folioweekly.com JULY 20 - 26, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5

A “PURR”-FECT PRODUCTION CATS Inspired by poet T.S. Eliot’s

feline-friendly 1939 collection Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats, the award-winning musical CATS has become a theatrical juggernaut the world over. Now the 11th annual High School Summer Musical Theatre Experience, with local 7th-12th graders working closely with recognized local and regional theater professionals, present Andrew Lloyd Webber’s much-loved “tail” (oh, the puns) about the Jellicles, a tribe of pusses and their otherworldly conundrum. 7:30 p.m. Friday, July 22 & Saturday, July 23 and 2 p.m. Sunday, July 24, Wilson Center for the Arts, FSCJ’s South Campus, $25; $20 seniors/military/non-FSCJ students, $15 FSCJ students/employees; through July 31, fscjartistseries.org.

OUR PICKS

FRI

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REASONS TO LEAVE THE HOUSE THIS WEEK

SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL ARTISTS POP! @ CORK

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Southlight Gallery is a collaborative art gallery featuring some of Northeast Florida’s more prominent creatives. As part of the Summer Guest Series, its new show Pop! @ CoRK celebrates modern art influences and includes works of Sandy Harrington, Marilyn Antram, Leslie Kruzicki, Ronald Episcopo, Rebecca Campbell, Troy Eittreim, Princess Simpson Rashid (pictured), Meleese Bremer, Traci Mims, Jhory Jones, Brandon Pourch, Garry McElwee, Tsuneko Kemp, Tanja Wegerer, Khamil Ojoyo, Kathy Stark, William McMahan, Stephanie Glen, Elena Ohlander and Maria Valdez-Duggar.

6-9 p.m. Thursday, July 21, CoRK Arts District’s North Gallery, Riverside, southlightgallery.com.

THU

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ROCK THE PARK CONNECTION FESTIVAL

Northeast Florida — brace thyself! The Connection Festival returns Downtown with another roster of killer rock, hip hop, and indie action, including Wu-Tang Clan (pictured), Cage the Elephant, Taking Back Sunday, Against Me!, The Bouncing Souls, Big Data, St. Lucia, New Beat Fund, Never Shout Never, New York Ska Jazz Ensemble, Run River North, Beebs & Her Money Makers, MZG Live with Allen Aucoin, Whole Wheat Bread, Colours, Water Seed, Control This!, Askmeificare, Moya Moya, Cloud9 Vibes, Brother Hawk, Skyview, Universal Green, Shannon Ogden, Secret Cigarettes, Jackie Stranger, Speaking Cursive, Eroc, and Cat McWilliams Band — and hosted by Pauly Shore! Noon Saturday, July 23, Metropolitan Park, Downtown, $45-$100, connectionfestival.com. Check out our overview of this year’s fest on page 25.

MAGIC & MUNCHIES

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THE GREAT FOODINI

Pioneer illusionist Harry Houdini famously remarked, “There are two things I sure do love the most: magic, food and math.” Come celebrate the legendary magician’s passion for the phantasmagoric and gastronomic at this week’s Great Foodini Magic & Food Truck Festival. The foodie fete features eight magicians’ live magic shows, food trucks, frosty craft brews, fire dancers, and kid-geared fun like face-painting and balloon animals.

And where else can you watch someone pull a rabbit out of a hat — and then eat it?! Oh, we kid!

5-9 p.m. Saturday, July 23, Hemming Park, Downtown, hemmingpark.org.

6 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 20 - 26, 2016

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A NEFARIOUS NIGHT!

VILLAINFEST 2016 Looking for a night of loud-ass metal and rock that may also lead to temporary hearing loss? Who isn’t?! Villainfest 2016 is sure to satisfy your hankerin’ for head-bangin’, with performances by local heavyweights Bleeding in Stereo, Automatik Fit, F.I.L.T.H., New Day, Salem Hollow, Inner Demons (pictured), Lowrcase G, and PhD. 6 p.m.

Friday, July 22, Mavericks Live, Downtown, $10 advance; $15 day of, maverickslive.com.

JULY 20 - 26, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7

THE MAIL THE BODY ISN’T COLD … YET

RE: “Corrine’s Day in Court,” by AG Gancarski, July 13 IT’S TOO SOON TO BE WRITING EULOGIES FOR Corrine Brown’s political funeral. Jurors and voters can be quite forgiving when it comes to charges made against favorite politicians.

Imagine a federal judge, appointed to the bench for life by Jimmy Carter, being caught on tape, using a pay phone in the courthouse to take bribes from drug dealers. His career would be over, wouldn’t it? You’d think so. However, that’s not how it happened.

He was tried the first time; the jury was hung.

The second time, he was acquitted. After he was acquitted, two respected federal judges sought his impeachment. The U.S. Senate listened to the evidence and agreed. He was removed from office for “high crimes and misdemeanors.” His career must have been over then, right? Nope.

He ran for the U.S. Congress and got elected, and re-elected — not once, not twice, but 10 times. He retired with a nice federal pension.

What the political career of former judge and former Congressman Alcee Hastings teaches us is that unless Brown pleads guilty to these charges, it’s still possible she’ll have a long career in politics ahead of her, no matter how overwhelming the indictment makes the evidence appear.

Rod Sullivan via email

CURRYING DISFAVOR

RE: “An Open Letter to Mayor Curry,” by Mitch Marcus, July 13 I DON’T NORMALLY FOLLOW LOCAL POLITICS. However, what I remember is Lenny Curry ran on a platform of promoting equal rights and even what is being called the “human rights ordinance.” That’s about all I remember, and you can imagine my surprise when push came to shove and he did an about-face.

Thank you for printing this article. I don’t like inflammatory rhetoric so I’ll just make one promise: Lenny Curry will never again get a vote from me.

Again, thank you for publishing the article.

Donnie Salter via email

THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO GOFORTH

RE: “Killing Them with Kindness,” by Claire Goforth, July 13 CLAIRE GOFORTH’S EDITORIAL WAS AN excellent cautionary lesson for all of us. No one wins wars. Hatred and violence beget hatred and violence.

It could have been lifted straight out of the Gospels. Christ’s Golden Rule is to treat others as you would have them treat you. The bullies who harassed her sister didn’t learn that part.

Even further is the admonition [that] when smote on the cheek, offer your other. They are in the Books of Matthew and Luke. These are lessons that should be taught in our schools but likely aren’t, given the relentless secularism in our society today at the behest of organizations like the American Civil Liberties Union.

Without a responsibility to a higher authority, it may be possible but, I submit, very difficult to inculcate such values and history has not been too kind to the idea. The USSR, Red China, Communist Cuba and Cambodia under Pol Pot have not had particularly good records when it comes to human rights — and all have been atheistic.

Until we accept that we are all children of God with none of us having a higher claim to His love than any other, the Gulag, Auschwitz and what happened to her sister will continue.

Roderick T. Beaman via email

LEND YOUR VOICE If you’d like to respond to something you read in the pages of Folio Weekly Magazine, please send an email (with your name, address, and phone number for verification purposes only) to mail@folioweekly.com, visit us at folioweekly.com, or follow us on Twitter or Facebook (@folioweekly) and join the conversation.

BRICKBATS + BOUQUETS BOUQUETS TO TAYLOR RICHARDSON On June 14, the 12-year-old attended the inaugural White House United State of Women Summit in Washington, D.C. The local sixth-grader, who dreams of being the first African-American woman to travel to Mars, was invited based upon her volunteerism and literacy advocacy. Just think … while you spend time chasing Pokemon, Richardson crusades against bullying, gender inequality and illiteracy and is an honors student, Girl Scout and triathlete.

At twelve.

BRICKBATS TO MATT SHIRK In an apparent effort to get so far right of his opponent that he gets lost, Public Defender Shirk has taken his previously invisible campaign to shocking new lows. As Florida Politics reported, Shirk wrote on Twitter — where he has fewer followers than spoof account @SadPaulGiamatti — that Obama has “deep ties to Islam” and, later, via email, said that the president “is comfortable with a certain level of Americans dying at the hands of Islamic terrorists.” Psst, Matt: Stick to what you’re good at. Whatever that might be. Paintby-numbers, perhaps?

BOUQUETS TO FARAH & FARAH To help protect families’ greatest assets, the law firm is currently giving away bike helmets to local kids in need ages 16 and younger. Parents and guardians can visit KeepJaxSafe.org to fill out an application for a helmet for each of their children. Farah & Farah will ship the helmets to North Florida and South Georgia residents at no cost. That’s giving back at its finest.

DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? HOW ABOUT A BRICKBAT? Send submissions to mail@folioweekly.com; 50 word maximum, concerning a person, place, or topic of local interest.

8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 20 - 26, 2016

FOLIO VOICES : FIGHTIN’ WORDS

THE THIRD

WAY Why are Republicans considering GARY JOHNSON and WILLIAM WELD?

LAST WEEK, I INTERVIEWED FORMER MAYOR and current University of North Florida president John Delaney.

Most of the topics discussed were local topics, but toward the end of the session, the interview veered into national territory.

I asked Delaney about the man being nominated by his Republican Party this week, Donald J. Trump, thinking that the presidential election leaves an establishment Republican like Delaney without a place to go.

Delaney had plenty to say about Trump, and not all of it was quotable. But he was clearly irked by how Trump managed to, in one year of operation, debase what was left of the Republican brand after seven years of Tea Party pyrotechnics.

The “baseness and coarseness” of Trump’s language, and unrealistic policy proposals, like deporting 11 million illegal immigrants, struck Delaney as absurd.

“I was a Jeb guy,” Delaney said.

But don’t think for a minute that Delaney is considering voting for the Democratic ticket; as he said, “the Clintons for 30 years have had grand juries” investigating them.

It’s quite possible that he could vote for a Gary Johnson/William Weld ticket in November, he said, though he didn’t endorse or even come close.

Yes. The most popular Republican in Jacksonville history is flirting with the idea of voting for the Libertarian ticket.

Later that same day, Jeb Bush was on MSNBC, doing a long interview with his former press secretary.

Bush’s aversion to Trump is welldocumented, and some of that revulsion may be because Trump ethered him in the early primaries.

Yet like Delaney, Bush is struggling to support this particular Republican.

“The simple fact is, there’s a threshold past which anybody that steps into the Oval Office must go. And I don’t think either Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump pass that threshold. In terms of temperament, character, trustworthiness, integrity. So what do you do?” Bush asked.

Bush added, “There’s other people running.

There’s the Libertarian ticket of Gary Johnson and William Weld. I don’t know. They don’t get a lot of airtime yet.”

What is going on when two high-profile Republicans — legacies, people still admired — flirt with the idea of voting Libertarian?

Well, the political center of gravity has shifted. On all sides.

The Republican Party of the pre-9/11 era had its faults, to be sure. But that was the era in which Jeb Bush and John Delaney had their biggest political triumphs.

And the rhetoric was different. It was a time when Jack Kemp was the conservative hero for ideas like enterprise zones. There was no one yammering about “building a wall and making Mexico pay for it.”

There was a conservative wing of the party that dominated in the Sunbelt, tempered by actual moderate Republicans and even Libertarian Republicans who saw the word “libertarian” as more meaningful than code for “buy your assault rifle and take it to the mall with you because the Second Amendment and Stone Cold say so.”

William Weld, in 1990s GOP, exemplified the Northeastern moderate Republican, supporting medical marijuana and gay marriage, during an era of zero tolerance and “don’t ask, don’t tell.”

And Gary Johnson? The most Libertarian governor in modern American history, cutting spending and, by the time he got to a second term, was willing to say into a live mic that the War on Drugs was as catastrophic a failure as Prohibition.

He vetoed GOP bills and Democratic bills alike, eschewing political patronage for real cost-benefit analyses.

Both men were re-elected in Democratic states. Why? Because although they were Republicans, they governed in good faith.

Does Hillary Clinton, who skated away from an email scandal solely because a Democratic Attorney General has visions of reappointment in her head, strike you as a good-faith candidate? What about Trump, who managed to have three different positions on abortion in one news cycle? Is he a goodfaith candidate?

The answer is obvious.

Many of the most politically savvy people in Jacksonville — Republicans appalled

by Trump, Democrats exhausted by the Clinton carnival — are taking hard looks at the Libertarian ticket. Not because of the checkered history of the LP — there is plenty that’s odd about it — but because of the two pragmatists at the top of the ticket.

They will likely get screwed out of being able to appear in debates with major party candidates. And, barring an infusion of Koch Brothers money (which will not line up behind Trump), you won’t see national ads.

But in a year when two appalling options are the “electable” candidates, Americans will take serious looks at Johnson and Weld.

Including many people you know. Maybe even you, in the end.

AG Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com Twitter/AGGancarski JULY 20 - 26, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9

FOLIO FO OLIO COMMUNITY : NEWS S

STRIP SEARCH

FWM was able to independently obtain a Certificate of Attendance for Aldrich to the Legal & Liability Management for Tactical S.W.A.T & Emergency Response Operations that was held in Winter Haven, which is approximately one hour’s drive from Mons Venus strip club. The certificate states Aldrich completed 16 hours of course instruction on March 11 and 12, 2010.

Speaking on a condition of anonymity for fear of retaliation, two sources who also attended the conference said that at the training facility the next morning, Senters bragged about the outing and specifically mentioned Aldrich and another officer in his tale as his bar-mates.

Florida law does not specifically prohibit law enforcement officers from frequenting strip clubs, but it does preclude them from using a department vehicle to get to the clubs.

Florida Attorney General Advisory Legal Opinion AGO 74-384 states: “A sheriff may assign sheriff ’s department vehicles to his personnel on a permanent basis for use both on and off duty if it is done pursuant to the rules and regulations that ensure that the program will serve a valid public purpose and that such rules and regulations are, in fact, complied with.”

The officers’ racy field trip may also be in violation of Clay County Board of County Commissioners Personnel Policies Manual Section 17A(D)(8) – Vehicle Use Policy, which states: “ … [P]ersonal use of a County vehicle shall be restricted to the time the employee is en route to or from work (8-hour and 24-hour vehicles only). Brief stops, as at banks or convenience stores, are permitted. Using the vehicle to go to a business establishment or other location after returning home is not permitted, unless it is for an assigned County function or meetings, or unless the employee has been specifically instructed by the County Manager to have the vehicle in his/her possession for immediate response because of special, unique circumstances.

Any visit to a legitimate business site while en route to or from work must be brief and must not subject the vehicle to undue danger, nor may said business establishment be illegal or lend discredit to the County Government or its operations.” [Emphasis added]

Did a candidate for Clay County Sheriff use a police vehicle to go to a FULL-NUDE STRIP CLUB? THE RACE FOR CLAY COUNTY SHERIFF HAS always been entertaining, impassioned and fiery. This year, one candidate’s pursuit of the most powerful law enforcement position in the county has a bit more sizzle than he likely hoped.

Craig Aldrich, former undersheriff to Sheriff Rick Beseler, touts himself as a conservative, Christian and family man. But some law enforcement sources within the Clay County Sheriff ’s Office (CCSO) say information has been released which may add a little dichotomy to Aldrich’s bio.

Several weeks ago, a large anonymous mail drop with a video disk in it out blanketed Clay County. The letter stated: “As you can see from the attached video of an unmarked C.C.S.O. sheriff ’s vehicle assigned to Major/ 10 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 20 - 26, 2016

Captain David Senters, the close associate and subordinate deputy to Colonel Craig Aldrich has driven the vehicle to a totally “NUDE” strip club in Tampa, Florida. This is a clear violation of law and county regulations.”

The video showed an unmarked CCSO vehicle, along with a close-up of the license plate, parked in front of Mons Venus strip club in Tampa. The Chevy Impala’s license plate number was W778BI. The narration on the video also stated the car had a “S.T.O.P. sticker given to Clay County Sheriff ’s Office Personnel” on the rear bumper.

Mons Venus is a strip club that bills itself online as offering “full nude hot action.”

According to three reliable sources, the car was assigned to Aldrich’s next-in-command, then Captain Senters. (Senters was promoted

to undersheriff on July 13.) Materials accompanying the video stated it was filmed in 2010.

Those same sources told Folio Weekly Magazine that Aldrich attended a training seminar, along with six other officers from the CCSO, on March 11 and 12, 2010. Information obtained by FWM from the CCSO included the roster of attendants at a training session held on those dates. The list showed that six members of the sheriff ’s office were at the conference: Barry Abramowitz, John Angus, Michael Hardee, James Pimentel, David Senters and James Wilson. Aldrich’s name was conspicuously absent. The CCSO Records Department produced the Certificates of Attendance of four of the attendees, but not Aldrich’s, though all were requested.

Aldrich retired on June 30. He did not respond to repeated requests for comment.

In the June 20 memo announcing his retirement, Aldrich states in the last line: “As you know, we are leading in the polls and I am certainly on the right path to being elected Clay County’s next Sheriff … ” FWM contacted CCSO Media Specialist Mary Justino about the possibility of an investigation into the allegations. She advised us that Sheriff Beseler would respond. As of press time, he had not done so.

Aldrich is being challenged by James Jett, Darryl Daniels and Harold Rutledge in the Republican primary to become the next sheriff of Clay County. Jett and Daniels did not have any comment about the allegations.

Rutledge provided this statement: “Throughout my law enforcement career, I have held myself to a high ethical standard and will expect that standard in my deputies and employees as the next Sheriff of Clay County. Internal investigations are necessary to maintain the public’s trust and I intend to use this tool as we strive to serve the citizens of Clay County with the highest integrity.”

Nikki Sanders mail@folioweekly.com

JULY 20 - 26, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11

CHAMBLIN’S turns 40

Midlife

THESIS Story by TIM GILMORE

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Photos by DENNIS HO

I

n 1976, Ron Chamblin started a bookstore with 15 boxes of books salvaged from a fire. Four decades later, Chamblin’s Books has between three-and-a-half and four million books packed into more than 54,000 square feet, including 33,000 square feet of retail space between Chamblin Bookmine proper — the flagship store — at 4551 Roosevelt Blvd. and Chamblin’s Uptown at 215 N. Laura St.

Local noir novelist Michael Wiley has held release parties for all six of his books at Chamblin’s Uptown.

The fanfare and local love for the spot isn’t just because Chamblin’s is the largest independent bookstore in the Southeast, but because Chamblin’s has encouraged and supported countless writers, artists, and curious readers for four decades.

Ron Chamblin never intended for the business to develop into something so large.

To make the store work, he worked — all day, every day. He sees that dedication as necessary to any business enterprise.

“You have to exert so much energy and creativity just to survive, and when you feel

that truth, a whole new thing takes over, and exertion becomes exhilaration.”

Chamblin turned 74 in April, but he hasn’t slacked off at all.

He’s currently renovating the three-story building adjacent to Chamblin’s Uptown.

The two top floors will be apartments that overlook Hemming Park; the ground floor will contain literary performance space and offer the works of local writers.

In a recent email he sent me at 2:18 a.m., Chamblin explained his ability to accomplish more than most.

“It’s after midnight, and I’ve slept already,” he writes, “I must admit that my determination to build the operation has

overcome my sense of priority to the degree that I’ve destroyed four marriages and perhaps some friendships along the way. I’ve sensed all along that nobody had better get in the way of the bookstore, not even me.”

PROJECT LIBERATION BEFORE CHAMBLIN BOOKMINE, THERE WAS Crawford Bookmine.

Cy Crawford was an eccentric man who began selling books in the late 1950s. In the early 1960s, “Cy Crawford, Books” operated from a ramshackle Victorian mansion on

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To offer some perspective, Powell’s Books in Portland, Oregon, one of that city’s proudest cultural institutions, calls itself the largest independent new and used bookstore in the world. Its inventory is four million books in 68,000 square feet of retail space.

The 40th anniversary of Chamblin’s Books demands an appropriately big celebration. So, from 7 to 10 p.m., on Saturday, July 23, Laura Street will be closed between Hemming Park and West Adams Street, in front of Chamblin’s Uptown. It’s a block party. Someone, perhaps yours truly, will have written a book about the intense quiet man behind the stores’ growth and operations.

Chamblin’s is unequivocally Jacksonville’s literary headquarters. If you want to find the new issues of Bridge Eight and Perversion magazines, or new books by local writers Heather Peters, Teri Youmans Grimm, or Johnny Masiulewicz, you head to Chamblin’s.

JULY 20 - 26, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 13

CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: a younger Chamblin is caught in a pensive mood; this Shaun Thurston mural graces the façade of Chamblin’s Uptown; young Chamblin (left) knocks back a couple of cold ones with a buddy; Chamblin mans the store in the early years; Chamblin and his daughter; amongst the stacks; Chamblin and Buckie the bird, 1983; Chamblin clearing land in the ’80s.

14 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 20 - 26, 2016

Midlife

THESIS

<<< FROM PREVIOUS Riverside Avenue where the Florida Blue building stands today. By 1965, the bookshop was listed as “Crawford Bookmine” and known informally as “Red Buddha.”

Curious young people frequented Red Buddha, which took its name from a statue in the front entrance. Some spoke of a “beatnik atmosphere.”

Crawford then housed his Bookmine in two of his own homes in the Lakeshore neighborhood; by the time Ron Chamblin started paying regular nightly visits, Crawford was looking for an heir. After a fire ravaged his house and shop on Shirley Avenue, Crawford sold his business to Ron Chamblin for $7,500. Ron reopened his newly renamed Chamblin Bookmine at 4148 Herschel St. the summer of America’s Bicentennial.

Realizing that this new enterprise was all or nothing, he gave up selling motorcycles and attending college part-time. Also, he’d been searching all his adult life for a “Project Liberation.”

He describes it this way: “I knew that eventually I must liberate myself from this low-wage, low-opportunity, low-everything system, even though I was writing sophisticated technical manuals for Northrop Grumman, I knew I was still trapped. And I know millions of people feel this way. They search for a vehicle to liberate themselves from this … this … well, this semi-slavery, this drudgery and meaninglessness.”

He’d felt imprisoned during high school, partly because his father was an abusive alcoholic, and so he traded one jailer for another and joined the military, where his first stop was boot camp. When he left the Navy in 1964, he burned his uniform in the mountains outside San Francisco and rode his motorcycle across the continent to his hometown of Jacksonville.

In 1976, Project Liberation birthed Chamblin Bookmine.

Even as he wounded him with knowledge of his favorite authors’ demises, Flowers says Chamblin was kind and conversational, even showing the 20-yearold Flowers an airplane he was building in back of the Bookmine.

Still, Flowers says, “I’d learned to spare the writers I liked by having someone else check me out at the counter.”

Later, after a traumatic car accident, so many people wondered aloud how Flowers could be alive that he, too, began to question his existence. One day during his recovery, he strolled into Chamblin Bookmine, and Chamblin said, “I thought you weren’t around anymore.”

For a long strange moment, Flowers felt sure that he was dead. Then Chamblin said he’d heard he was teaching English as a Foreign Language somewhere in the Middle East.

A PLACE TO CALL HOME In 2001, Chamblin had a handsome, twostory riverfront house built in the wealthy Clay County enclave of Fleming Island.

Balconies stretch both stories, front and back, but the book stores were his home.

He’d built himself an apartment in the back of Chamblin Book’s third and largest consecutive location on Roosevelt

Boulevard in the 1990s, where he moved partly to escape living with the poet Alan Justiss, who’d painted the new store and whom Chamblin had known in elementary school.

Justiss was down on his luck — as he’d always been. Chamblin says one of Justiss’ favorite memories was being tossed in the drunk tank with the prolific underground writer Charles Bukowski. Chamblin let Justiss live in the former Chamblin family home on the rural Westside. Justiss stayed awake writing and drinking all night, every night — and never paid rent.

CONTINUED NEXT PAGE >>>

A WELLSPRING OF MEMORIES MOST BOOKLOVERS IN NORTHEAST FLORIDA have a Chamblin’s Books story. In 1990, when I was 16 years old, I stole a book from Chamblin Bookmine. I made my getaway in my father’s 1984 zigzag-striped Toyota van. Ron Chamblin chased me down in traffic, miles away, called me an asshole, and took back his book.

When Chamblin pounded on my window at a stoplight, I rolled the window down and handed him the copy of Manson in His Own Words, feeling terribly ashamed.

UNF English professor Joe Flowers recalls how, when he was younger, Chamblin pronounced him dead.

Flowers had religiously read the works of Richard Brautigan until Ron Chamblin told him at the register of Brautigan’s suicide. The same thing happened with Jerzy Kosiński’s novels.

JULY 20 - 26, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15

16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 20 - 26, 2016

Midlife

THESIS

<<< FROM PREVIOUS One night in 1996, as a former Orlando cop broke through the front windows of Chamblin Bookmine to pilfer the registers, Chamblin emerged, completely nude, from his apartment in the back, and confronted the burglar with a shotgun.

In 2007, when Chamblin’s employee Jennifer O’Donnell endured a brutal divorce, Chamblin told her he was building apartments in the back of his new Downtown store, and that if she needed a place to stay, she had one.

“I just cried,” says O’Donnell, who now manages Chamblin’s Uptown, “I’m standing there like an idiot, blubbering. I have no clue where my life is going, and all I have is the paycheck in my pocket, and here’s my boss telling me, ‘Look, you have a place to call home.’”

Many bookstore employees feel much the same way. Chamblin has a longstanding habit of finding out the stories of homeless men and women, testing their trustworthiness, offering them jobs and, if they prove their mettle, giving them a place to stay.

When John Evans first walked into Chamblin’s Uptown, he found a six-volume audio set of Mark Twain’s work and asked Ron Chamblin the cost. Chamblin told him he could take it home for free and bring it back when he was finished. Chamblin had no way of knowing – except perhaps from his own intuition – that Evans was out of work and had little money. Soon Chamblin offered Evans a place in his Fleming Island home.

At a time, Marv Kramer says, when he “really needed a friend” and his law practice and marriage both lay in shambles, Chamblin helped him back on his feet. Kramer had left Dallas to come back homeless to his hometown of Jacksonville.

“Without Ron,” Kramer says, “I don’t think I could’ve gone on. My life had hit the bottom.”

For much of the last decade, Chamblin has resided in an apartment behind Chamblin’s Uptown, while several formerly homeless employees called his new riverfront mansion home.

She says her father was always intense, though he could be charming. She sells a greeting card that reminds her of him. It says, “Good things come to those who work their asses off.”

About five years ago, a sudden surge of water startled Ron and Naomi as they kayaked near his Fleming Island home. They were surprised to see that the surge was caused by a manatee, the largest, gentlest of Florida’s mammals, who, with no natural predators, evolved no defenses.

It wasn’t Ron Chamblin’s first encounter.

He already knew Marge. Intimately.

When he moved into the back of his Downtown store after a brief suburban stint,

he’d blamed the move on Marge the Manatee.

He knew the sight of an alligator’s nostrils riding just atop the water, but he didn’t immediately realize that the slow-bobbing bulbs he saw just over the bulkhead were eyes.

The way Chamblin tells it, after he recognized Marge’s interest, he courted her until she broke it off for a gator, then sought refuge Downtown.

The long story he tells me when I finally ask him how Project Liberation altered his life has nothing to do with a bookstore or a manatee, and everything to do with a crosscontinent motorcycle ride that reads better by far than Easy Rider.

After his military discharge in 1964, he rode through swarms of bees and serpents, slept at night in the Mojave and the mountains, and remembers one tailwind in which he “rode down the mountain the same speed as the wind,” so that all the earth around “fell eerily quiet and calm.”

Tim Gilmore mail@folioweekly.com _____________________________________ Chamblin’s Books’ 40th Anniversary Celebration & BYOB Block Party is held 7-10 p.m. Saturday, July 23, at 215 N. Laura St. Admission is free.

Tim Gilmore’s new book, We Are All Used Books: 70 Conversations with Ron Chamblin, will be available; $17.

MOTORCYLCLES + MANATEE When I ask Ron Chamblin how his pursuit of Project Liberation led to his business success and his autonomy in life, he tells me of his daughter, a manatee, and a motorcycle.

When Naomi Chamblin, Ron’s daughter from his third marriage, was 29 years old, she quit her job as an elementary school teacher in the San Francisco area, and wondered what she should do next. Then she had an epiphany: Napa Bookmine. To help Naomi get started, her father filled a tractor-trailer full of his books in Jacksonville and sent them west.

“We still have plenty of books originally from Chamblin Bookmine,” she says, “and every time I see the Jacksonville stamp on the inside of the cover, I smile.”

JULY 20 - 26, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17

FOLIO A + E

I

t’s 1 p.m. on a Wednesday and the blazing hot Northeast Florida sun is doing its part to cast shadows on the eggshell white walls of the atrium within the Museum of Contemporary Art Jacksonville. Within the atrium, a five-member crew, utilizing ladders of myriad heights and an electric construction crane, are busy putting together the newest large-scale installation to fill the museum’s well-known exhibit space, Project Atrium. Ventures of this size usually require tools of comparable magnitude. However, the crew here today, busy as they are, has only one small utensil at its disposal: a Sharpie.

Well, hundreds of Sharpies, actually.

“The Sharpies just add a level of permanence and a richness of black that I found attractive,” Boston-based artist Ethan Murrow tells Folio Weekly Magazine. “They are also fairly affordable.”

Yesterday, Murrow and four assistants — including Boston-based Aaron Houser and Jacksonville artists Thony Aiuppy, Roy Albert Berry and Tony Rodrigues — equipped with about 800 black Sharpies, set to work outlining, crosshatching and crosshatching some more. The work is done every day until July 15, when Murrow’s finished piece Plethora is scheduled to be unveiled at an opening reception at MOCA on July 16.

Murrow works in several mediums, including sculpture and film, but he’s particularly fond of drawing.

“I started doing a lot of drawing when I finished grad school. I was traveling and didn’t have the ability to take a lot of tools or materials with me. Part of it was just very practical,” Murrow says of his early affinity for sketching. “Drawing is a common language. Everybody can do it.

It’s accessible. And often it’s a way that we translate ideas when we are confused by other forms of communication.”

Today, looking ultra-casual in a maroon T-shirt, grey shorts, and tennis shoes, the soft-spoken Murrow seems fairly content with his team’s progress thus far. Aside from finishing the drawing in time for the opening, Murrow’s main concern is the health and safety of his team, who will be drawing for nearly eight hours a day, often with their hands near eye-level and elbows pointing awkwardly toward one o’clock (or noon, even).

“I do this all the time, so my wrist and arm are more in tune to it,” Murrow says, holding up his right hand to reveal a beige wristbrace. “There’s so much repetitive motion. We have to be really careful. The temptation is to work around the clock, but at the end of the day, it’s better to have a bluecollar union-like approach.”

Murrow says he learned the value of hard work, among other things, through his chores and duties on his family’s farm. Though

18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 20 - 26, 2016

FILM Ghostbusters MUSIC Connection Festival MUSIC Auric LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CALENDAR

PG. 23 PG. 25 PG. 26 PG. 27

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Ethan Murrow’s “Project Atrium” installation explores our COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIP with what we eat

the Murrows were not dependent on the farm for food or income, they did raise livestock, grow vegetables, and harvest their own foodstuffs.

“It helped me understand my relationship with the things I was digesting,” Murrow says.

That relationship — between humans and their food — is explored and expanded upon in Plethora. In the piece, a figure stands above a table overflowing with food that’s excessive both in its volume and variety. Seemingly in an effort to hold up his satiated body, the figure has laid his hands on the table. His shirt carries large splotches of stains from spilled food. And though a large metal basin obscures the figure’s identity, Murrow readily admits that it’s him.

“If you have a middle-class to uppermiddle-class life, it’s very easy to hide or ignore the fact that poverty and hunger are a huge issue in America,” Murrow says. “You go into a grocery and it’s so luscious, so beautiful in terms of what you can imagine eating.

That’s temptation supreme. You forget how privileged you are to have access to that store.

Hiding my face is meant to show how we are set up almost to ignore [the problems].”

After leaving his family farm, attending college in Minnesota and then graduate school in North Carolina, Murrow lived in several urban areas before landing in Boston. He believes cities have their own food realities.

“Your relationship to your food [in Boston] often comes down to access,” says Murrow. “Access to grocery stores. Access to fresh produce. We have CSAs [Community Supported Agriculture] and lots of small farms coming into Boston, but they serve a certain population. They serve communities of privilege. Access to food is representative of the strata of society.”

“I’m fully complicit in that problem,” he continues. “That’s part of the reason I put myself in [Plethora]. I’m totally mixed up in this messy issue.”

Murrow’s art often shows human beings interacting with nature. The people he portrays can be dressed in period clothing or using antiquated tools. If there are multiple people in a piece, Murrow sometimes makes each appear to be of different time periods. More often than not, the artist depicts human interaction with nature as intrusion.

“When I think about us as humans, half of me thinks we are so smart. It’s incredible the things we’ve accomplished, the buildings we’ve built, the satellites we’ve launched into space. We have an incredible amount of logic and innovation,” says Murrow. “But at the same time, we are so dumb. We do the same dumb things over and over again.”

The issues surrounding food in our modern culture — excess, gluttony, access and privilege — all of which play a prevalent role in Plethora, are not foreign to Northeast Floridians. Even so, in planning the drawing, Murrow tried to pull in local elements to help viewers relate. Strewn about the table and the floor of the piece are a number of recognizable locally grown fruits and vegetables (citrus, melons) and native fauna.

Still, he reiterates that the piece is not an indictment of Northeast Florida’s relationship to its food. Rather, it’s about issues that are universal.

“I am not from here, so I want to be careful not to make any assumptions. I don’t think it’s necessarily the artist’s role to dictate or profess things, anyway. I think it’s a richer or more important role to be an instigator.”

Matthew B. Shaw mail@folioweekly.com

PROJECT ATRIUM: ETHAN MURROW

Exhibit runs through Oct. 30 Museum of Contemporary Art Jacksonville, Downtown, mocajacksonville.org

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• VOTE online at FolioWeekly.Com • ONE ballot per person • Ballots MUST contain AT LEAST 30 legitimate responses • in order to be counted • Survey will TIME OUT if left unattended for longer than • 40 minutes • Please keep your answers LOCAL • Poll closes at 5:30 p.m. FRIDAY, AUGUST 19

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SEPT. 23 & SEPT. 30 • FolioWeekly.Com Encourage your friends and customers to VOTE by sharing the poll on Facebook™ and Twitter® or by using the email prompt on the final page of the online ballot Thanks for reading FOLIO WEEKLY MAGAZINE, where YOU are always THE BEST!

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SHOPPING/ HEALTH & BEAUTY/ EDUCATION Best Bike Shop CURRENT LEADERS:

Bird Legs, Open Road, ZenCog

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Al’s Pizza, Mellow Mushroom, Pizzalley’s

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Best Pizza on Amelia Island CURRENT LEADERS: Arte, Moon River, Pi Infinite

Best Pizza in Orange Park/ Fleming Island/Green Cove Springs CURRENT LEADERS: Brewers, Mellow Mushroom, Renna’s

Carmax, Garber Automall, Tom Bush

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29 South Eats, Cafe Karibo, Salty Pelican

Best Restaurant in Jacksonville CURRENT LEADERS: Flying Iguana, Kitchen on San Marco, Orsay

Best Restaurant in Orange Park/Fleming Island/Green Cove Springs CURRENT LEADERS:

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DINING & DRINKING

Best Restaurant When Someone Else is Paying Best Restaurant to Impress a Date Best Bartender/ Mixologist Best Bar Food Best Seafood

La Nopalera, Mellow Mushroom, Whitey’s Fish Camp

Best Restaurant in St. Augustine CURRENT LEADERS:

Caps, Gypsy Cab, The Floridian

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Al’s Pizza, Jets, Mellow Mushroom

Beach Diner, Maple Street Biscuit Company, Metro Diner

CONTINUED NEXT PAGE >>> JULY 20 - 26, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 21

Best Brunch

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Cafe Karibo, Tasty’s, T-Ray’s

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M Shack, Pinegrove Deli, Poe’s Tavern

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Best Restaurant Serving Locally-Sourced Food Best Neighborhood Bar on Amelia Island CURRENT LEADERS:

Green Turtle Tavern, Hammerhead Beach Bar, Salty Pelican

Best Neighborhood Bar in Jacksonville CURRENT LEADERS: Dos Gatos, Mellow Mushroom, Sidecar

Best Burger in St. Augustine CURRENT LEADERS:

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One Twenty Three Burger House, Cruisers, Uptown Scratch Kitchen

Cheers, Dos Gatos, Mellow Mushroom

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5 Guys, Farmers in the Deli, Krystals

Julington Creek, North Beach, Whitey’s

Best Burrito Best Caribbean Restaurant

Dos Gatos, Ice Plant, St. George’s Tavern

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David Truax, Jarvis Mendola, Ryan Randolph

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22 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 20 - 26, 2016

Mellow Mushroom, The Players Grille, Taps Bar & Grill

FOLIO A+E : FILM

A SPIRITED PERFORMANCE Much-anticipated reboot of the ’80S CLASSIC kicks ass

M

y reaction to the idea of an all-female separates this from the deluge of reprocessed Ghostbusters reboot? I’m desperate for reboots, remakes, and do-overs of late. movies about women doing all sorts of Leslie Jones brings her own humor stylings things — including silly stuff like engaging in as Patty, a ballsy subway worker. And there’s a experimental particle physics, playing around nice tribute to Harold Ramis — his son Daniel with total protonic reversal, and saving New cameos in a rock concert scene. Look for Chris York City — but I’d also like to see women get Hemsworth, Ozzy, Andy Garcia and Cecily their own stories and a chance to create their Strong, and from the ’84 film, Annie Potts, own iconic characters. I knew that even if this Ernie Hudson and Sigourney Weaver. remake was amazing, any success would come Unlike that first flick, when ghosts started with an asterisk. There would always be the appearing at the same moment a new business “real” Ghostbusters — the original was begun to deal with them ’80s comedy, not to be confused — baked into this plot, there’s a GHOSTBUSTERS with the spinoff animated series reason why ghosts are popping ***G The Real Ghostbusters, though up, prompting Erin and Abby Rated PG-13 there’s that, too — and the “girl” to start their project. It’s not Ghostbusters. Women deserve an entrepreneurial effort, but a better than to be constantly tagged scientific research endeavor to as the lesser, the other, the not-quite-as-good. capture and study spirits. And baked into that I still believe all that, but I get to have my reason is the feminism of this new Ghostbusters.

This is an unabashedly feminist movie. But feminist cake and eat it, too, because … holy it’s still super-fun — pinky-swear! There are a moly! … Saturday Night Live badass Kate few words about nasty online comments the McKinnon has created an instantly iconic new women get in response to videos of ghosts they character in gleefully reckless physicist and post on YouTube — the comments are close tinkerer Jillian Holtzmann, a snappy dresser, a to some this movie itself has generated. Far devil-may-care snarkster, a master of universal more incisive is the villain, Rowan North (Neil mysteries, and a creator of cool crap that goes Casey), literally a basement-dwelling creep boom. Jillian is clearly the analogue here for who justifies the bad things he does as a way of the late Harold Ramis’ Egon Spengler from his striking back at bullies. Contrast this with Erin’s 1984 creation (which Ramis cowrote with Dan and Abby’s tales of being denigrated for their Aykroyd) — but she’s nothing like him. She’s dorky oddness: Dude treated badly wants to nothing like any female character we’ve ever end the world; dudettes treated badly turn their seen. She’s powerful in a way that has nothing pain into a positive thing, and are now ready to to do with her appeal to men, all too often save the world. the only power women are allowed to deploy MaryAnn Johanson onscreen. She is brainy comic mayhem with a mail@folioweekly.com lil bit of Back to the Future’s Doc Brown and a whole lotta the Doctor (Doctor Who, that is).

She’s scientific authority combined with the freedom of no-fucks-given.

This new Ghostbusters would be worth hailing for Jillian alone but, happily, there’s NIGHT OWL CINEMA The free series continues with Inside Out, 8 p.m. July 22, St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., much more to cheer. The snappy script, by free, 471-1965, staugamphitheatre.com. director Paul Feig and Katie Dippold, zings SUN-RAY CINEMA Ghostbusters, Maggie’s Plan, Wiener-Dog from the start with cunning, snappy verve, and Swiss Army Man run, 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. Absolutely Fabulous starts July 22. often springing up out of left field. Pay close SUMMER MOVIE CLASSIC SERIES The 25th anniversary of attention to the commentary by the tour guide City Slickers (Billy Crystal, Jack Palance, Bruno Kirby, Daniel at a historic NYC mansion which, of course, is Stern and Norman the calf) is marked with a 2 p.m. July haunted. The plot is similar to the 1984 movie, 24 screening, Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Ste. 300, Downtown, $7.50; 355-2787, floridatheatre.com. The series with physics prof Erin Gilbert (Kristen Wiig) runs through Aug. 28. and a more paranormally inclined academic FREE MOVIES BY THE BAY Ripley’s shows The Good Abby Yates (Melissa McCarthy) teaming up Dinosaur, 8:30 p.m. July 20, Municipal Marina, 111 Avenida Menendez, St. Augustine. Family-friendly films screen every with Jillian, to hunt ghosts suddenly appearing Wed. through Aug. 3. 824-1606, augustine.com. Bring all over town. Wiig and McCarthy have toned something to sit on. down their sometimes-over-amped comic CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ Marguerite and I’ll See You in My Dreams run, 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 679-5736, personas, so it’s not easy to determine after corazoncinemaandcafe.com. The Cemetery Club, noon July which original characters Erin and Abby may 21. Sunset Song and Hunt for the Wilderpeople start July 22. be modeled. They’re neither Aykroyd’s Ray French films Delicacy, noon July 23 and Welcome, 3 p.m.

July 24. Game of Thrones 9 p.m. every Sun. Stanz or Bill Murray’s Peter Venkman, yet IMAX THEATER Ghostbusters, National Parks Adventure, A they are both, at the same time (Aykroyd and Beautiful Planet and Secret Ocean screen, World Golf Village Murray cameo, too). As with the authentically IMAX Theater, St. Augustine, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com.

Star Trek Beyond starts July 21. fresh Jillian, they don’t imitate anyone, which

FILM LISTING

JULY 20 - 26, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23

FOLIO A+E : MAGIC LANTERNS TE ERNS

GLOBAL

THRILLERS

Folio Weekly Magazine offers a DOUBLE SHOT of hard-hitting action

I

t’s hard to find a good mystery/thriller on big screens in the summer, the mega bucks going with fantasy, adventure, comedy, and kid flicks. Two new international films have just been released on DVD, though, and they should more than slake the thirst for those looking for thrills with intelligence and style rather than explosions and derring-do.

We’re going Down Under for the first entry, Mystery Road, which practically swept the Australian Film Critics Association Awards in 2014, scoring prizes for Best Film, Actor, Supporting Actor, Screenplay, Director and Cinematography — the last three going to the same person, Ivan Sen. For the most part, Sen may be unknown over here, but I suspect that will change as Mystery Road connects with more people. Its sequel, Goldstone, premiered last month in Australia with the highest expectations given its predecessor’s success.

Mystery Road is a slow burn for most of its two-hour running time, building inevitably to one of the most unusual and realistic shootouts in recent memory. Aaron Pederson, of Aboriginal heritage like writer/director Sen, plays detective Jay Swann who’s just returned to his small town in the Outback after time in the big city. His first assignment sets him looking into the death of a young girl whose body was found by a trucker in a culvert under a highway.

No one on the mostly white police force seems overly concerned, since she was just another indigenous hooker/addict, but Swann quickly finds a personal connection — she was also an acquaintance of his estranged teenaged daughter. Inquiries into the dead girl’s life meet with little response, even from Swann’s ex-wife Mary (Tasma Walton) who, unlike her husband, has not given up booze. Most of the film details the detective’s steady pursuit of the elusive clues which lead to other victims as well as the murderous perpetrators.

Pederson is a significant presence in the film, absolutely dominating the scenes despite Sen’s impressive visuals of the sun-drenched dreary town and the barren, looming landscape. It’s a subtle but compelling performance, quite unlike the usual brash detectives who pervade American film.

In many ways, he brings to mind Clint Eastwood’s character in Coogan’s Bluff, a cowboy in an alien urban setting, but even more reserved than squint-eyed Clint.

The supporting characters — villains and otherwise — are equally effective and credible. Jack Thompson, a bit of an Aussie icon for work like The Chant of Jimmie Blacksmith, Breaker Morant and The Man from Snowy River, makes the most of his one extended scene as a sympathetic recluse.

The well-traveled Hugo Weaving (“Hobbit”

24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 20 - 26, 2016

and “Matrix” movies among many others) is simply terrific as Johnno, Swann’s fellow cop but dubious ally. Other familiar names and faces are Bruce Spence (The Road Warrior) and Ryan Kwanten (Jason Stackhouse in HBO’s True Blood).

Like Pederson, writer/director/ cinematographer Ivan Sen is of mixed Aboriginal heritage, and one real strength of Mystery Road is how the racial themes are pervasive without being invasive.

Compared to In the Heat of the Night, for instance, Mystery Road is far more subtle and less overt. Much more is implied about the characters, including Swann, than is ever fully explained, which makes it more interesting and meaningful.

Entry No. 2 in the international summer thriller genre puts us in France with The Lady in the Car with Glasses and a Gun. With a title like that, you can’t help but want to find out what’s next. Kind of like Abel Ferrara’s Ms. 45.

Only this Lady is not another chick with a chip on her shoulder. In fact, the film is a remake of a similarly titled 1970 work starring Oliver Reed and Samantha Eggar, in turn based on a novel by noted French author Sebastien Japrisot (A Very Long Engagement).

The first film (directed by Anatole Litvank) has been all but forgotten (perhaps unfairly), but the remake by Joann Sfar (Gainsbourg: A Heroic Life) may prompt a re-evaluation.

I say Lady relies more on style than substance — I mean that as a description rather than a criticism. The plot is a mindtwister, at least at the start, but as the story moves to its conclusion, credibility is strained.

Still, it’s a lot of fun getting there.

Scottish actress Freya Mavor (fluent in French) gives a star-making performance as Dany, bespectacled, auburn-haired secretary who, on a whim, takes off on a weekend drive in her boss’ flashy car. Winsome but repressed, Dany is soon the victim of mistaken identity (or is she?) as her journey to the sea puts her in contact with strangers who claim to have seen her the day before in different circumstances.

Mysterious attacks, an unexpected sexual encounter, more than one murder, and (of course) a gun eventually appear, accompanied with flash-forwards and backwards, sometimes in split- and even triple-screen.

Reminiscent of Brian De Palma’s works, this new Lady is full of visual twists and turns, all to the beat of a driving soundtrack — Gallic razzle-dazzle compared to the Aussie realism of Mystery Road.

Just like in life, so it is in the movies — variety is a welcome spice.

Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com

ARTS + EVENTS PERFORMANCE

CATS The 11th annual High School Summer Musical Theatre Experience, featuring local 7th-12th graders working with recognized local and regional theater professionals, stage Andrew Lloyd Webber’s award-winning musical about a tribe of peculiar felines, 7:30 p.m. July 22 & 23 and 2 p.m. July 24, at Wilson Center for the Arts, FSCJ’s South Campus, 11901 Beach Blvd., 646-2222, $25; $20 seniors, military, non-FSCJ students, $15 FSCJ students & employees; through July 31, fscjartistseries.org.

SAVE ME, DOLLY PARTON Amelia Musical Playhouse stages Megan Gogarty’s comedic one-woman play, about life before and after motherhood, 7:30 p.m. July 22 and 23, at 1955 Island Walkway, Fernandina Beach, 277-3455, $15; $10 students, ameliamusicalplayhouse.com.

MEMPHIS Players By The Sea stages the multiple-awardwinning musical, loosely based on pioneering radio DJ Dewey Phillips and his love of underground AfricanAmerican Memphis nightclubs of the 1950s, 8 p.m. July 22 & 23, at 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach, 249-0289; through Aug. 13, playersbythesea.org.

TODRICK HALL – STRAIGHT OUTTA OZ American Idol finalist and YouTube personality Hall and crew present their updated musical take on The Wizard of Oz, 7:30 p.m. July 26, at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $25-$100, floridatheatre.com.

LOUIS AND ELLA Stage Aurora presents this production based on the music of Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald, 7 p.m. July 23, at Main Library’s Hicks Auditorium, 303 N. Laura St., Downtown, 630-2353, jaxpubliclibrary.org.

BEAUTY & THE BEAST Alhambra Theatre & Dining presents the Tony-winning musical about love between a monster (or is he?) and a princess, through July 31. Dinner 6 p.m.; brunch noon; featuring award-winning Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menu, at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 641-1212, $35-$62, alhambrajax.com.

CLASSICAL, CHOIR & JAZZ

NOAH PETERSON Multigenre saxophonist Peterson performs 8 p.m. July 23, at Jazzland Café, 1324 University Blvd. N., Arlington, 240-1009, $10, jazzlandcafe.com.

COMEDY

MICHAEL JR. Clean-leaning comedian Michael Jr., who’s appeared on The Tonight Show and Oprah, is on 8 p.m. (with opener Danny Johnson) July 23, at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $23.50$68.50, floridatheatre.com.

FRED’S ALL-STAR COMEDIANS Local comedians Preetam Soomai, Tommy Torres, and others are on, 7:30 p.m. July 20; Dan Baker and Marlon Petzgold and others are on 7:30 p.m. July 26; Jon Vredeburg and John Saoud and others are on 7:30 p.m. July 27 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, 292-4242, $10, comedyzone.com.

DREW LYNCH Comedian Lynch, who’s been on America’s Got Talent, is on 7:30 p.m. July 21 and 7:30 & 9:45 p.m. July 21 & 23 at The Comedy Zone, 292-4242, $20, comedyzone.com.

TONY TONE Comic Tone, (Comic View, Def Comedy Jam) is on 8:30 p.m. July 21, 8 p.m. July 22, and 8 & 10:30 p.m. July 23, at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-4277, $8-15, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

CALLS & WORKSHOPS

FOLIO MEDIA HOUSE TABLESIDE GALLERIES Folio Weekly Magazine seeks submissions from artists working in all media interested in having work displayed in some of Northeast Florida’s prominent restaurants. Details, call Kyle Willis, 383-5650, tablesidegalleries@folioweekly.com.

NEW TOWN URBAN FARM Urban Geoponics and New Town are developing a large community garden at Pearce and West Third streets, in the New Town/Edward Waters area, Northside. It will provide fresh produce and a hands-on, open-air center of learning for the community and area students. Urban Farm meets 10 a.m.-1 p.m. every Sun. Details, call Diallo-Sekou at 706-284-9808.

CALL FOR ARTISTS The 51st annual St. Augustine Arts & Crafts is accepting artists’ applications for its juried event to be held Nov. 26 & 27. The deadline for submissions is Aug. 12. For more info, go to staugustineartfestival.com.

ART WALKS & MARKETS

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Local, regional art, music – Morning Yoga with Brigid Murphy (9 a.m.), Dixie Rodeo, Mark Shine, Donna Frost, Alissa Leonard – food, farmers market, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. July 23 under the Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com.

JAXSON’S NIGHT MARKET Street food vendors, craft beer, local farmers, and artisans and craftmakers are featured 5:30-9 p.m. July 21 and every third Thur. at Hemming Park, Downtown, facebook.com/jaxsonsnightmarket.

MUSEUMS

CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 29 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummermuseum.org. Lift: Contemporary Expressions of the African American Experience, works of local artists Thony Aiuppy, Glendia Cooper, Ingrid Damiani, Overstreet Ducasse, Dustin Harewood, Marsha Hatcher, Hiromi Moneyhun, Princess Rashid, Chip Southworth, and Roosevelt Watson III, responding to the area’s artistic African-American heritage, displays through Feb. 12. David Hayes: The Sentinel Series, sculptures of geometrically abstract, organic forms, displays through Oct. 2.

MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911, mocajacksonville.unf.edu. Third Thursday Tour: Ethan Murrow is held 7-8 p.m. July 21.

Project Atrium: Ethan Murrow is on display through Oct. 30.

Confronting the Canvas: Women of Abstraction, 30 works by

six contemporary, female Abstract Expressionist painters, displays through Sept. 4. Amer Kobaslija: A Sense of Place, displays through Aug. 14.

GALLERIES

ADELE GRAGE CULTURAL CENTER 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-5828, coab.us. An exhibit featuring recent works by painter Marsha Hatcher is on display through Aug. 1.

THE ART CENTER Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 139, 233-9252, tacjacksonville.org. Texture Art displays through Aug. 1.

Debbie Pounder is July’s featured artist.

BREWER’S PIZZA 14B Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 276-5159, brewerspizza.com. Gloria Aitken’s works are currently on display.

BREW FIVE POINTS 1024 Park St., 374-5789, brewfivepoints.com. Photographer Edison William’s exhibit Confusion of the Dream in Planetary Motion - Great Smoky Mountains, displays through mid-July.

CASA DORA ITALIAN CAFÉ 108 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 356-8282. The opening reception for an exhibit of works by Tom Aschenbach is held 6-7 p.m. July 26.

CORK ARTS DISTRICT 2689 Rosselle St., Riverside, corkartsdistrict.com. The opening reception for Pop! @ CoRK, featuring works by Sandy Harrington, Marilyn Antram, Leslie Kruzicki, Ronald Episcopo, Rebecca Campbell, Troy Eittreim, Princess Simpson Rashid, Meleese Bremer, Traci Mims, Jhory Jones, Brandon Pourch, Garry McElwee, Tsuneko Kemp, Tanja Wegerer, Khamil Ojoyo, Kathy Stark, William McMahan, Stephanie Glen, Elena Ohlander, and Maria Valdez-Duggar, is held 6-9 p.m. July 21.

THE CULTURAL CENTER AT PONTE VEDRA BEACH 50 Executive Way, 280-0614, ccpvb.org. The Summer Juried Plein Air Exhibit is on display through Sept. 2.

HUBLEY GALLERY 804C Anastasia Blvd., St Augustine, 429-9769, hubleygallery.com. Carol Baker is July’s featured artist.

INDOCHINE 1974 San Marco Blvd., San Marco, 503-7013, indochinejax.com. Jami Childers’ works are on display.

KENT CAMPUS GALLERY FSCJ’s Kent Campus, Bldg. E, Room 112A, 3939 Roosevelt Blvd., 646-2300, fscj.edu. Thony Aiuppy’s exhibit Breath From the Sky displays through July 21.

MONROE GALLERIES 40 W. Monroe St., Downtown, 881-0209, monroegalleries.com. Works by Barbie BrayWorkman, Jami Childers, Dana Fawn, Leilani Leo, and Dustin Bradley are featured.

PHO, A NOODLE BAR 117 W. Adams St., Downtown, 353-0320, phoanoodlebar.com. Matt Bluejay’s works are on display.

SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY Bank of America Tower, 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 150, Downtown, 438-4358, southlightgallery.com.

Fresh Air: Works Inspired By Nature is on display.

ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., St. Augustine, 824-2310, staaa.org. The Seventh Annual Nature & Wildlife Exhibition is on display July 23-Aug. 28.

EVENTS

SOUTHSIDE BUSINESS MEN’S CLUB Hugh Greene, CEO, Baptist Health is the featured speaker, 12:30 p.m. (buffet lunch at noon) July 20; Lori Boyer, 2016 Council President, Jacksonville City Council is the speaker July 27; all at San Jose Country Club, 7529 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 419-3205, $25, sbmcjax.com.

RIVERSIDE AVONDALE GARDEN TALK Melanie Thomas, Duval City of Jax Agriculture Dept., discusses canning at 9 a.m. July 23, at Willowbranch Rose Garden Park, 2840 Park St., Riverside, coj.net.

JAX ARMADA VS. OTTAWA FURY Local football faves Armada take on Ottawa at 7 p.m. July 23, at Community First Park, Baseball Grounds, Downtown, $15-$70, 633-6100, ticketmaster.com.

THE GREAT FOODINI The Great Foodini Magic & Food Truck Festival features live magic shows by eight magicians, food trucks, frosty craft brews, fire dancers, and kid-geared fun like face painting and balloon animals, 5-9 p.m. July 23, at Hemming Park, 117 W. Duval St., Downtown, hemmingpark.org.

GREATER JACKSONVILLE KINGFISH TOURNAMENT Hook it up! The 36th annual Greater Jacksonville Kingfish Tournament offers fisherfolk a chance to land the “big one” in the general tournament, junior angler, redfish, and dock categories, along with food, charity events, a “liars’ tent,” live music, and stuff, through July 23, Sisters Creek Park & Boat Ramp, 8203 Heckscher Dr., Northside. Details at kingfishtournament.com.

AUTHORS JOSEPH FINDER and STEVE BERRY Finder reads and signs copies of his novel, Guilty Minds, 3 p.m. July 24 at The BookMark, 220 First St., Neptune Beach, 241-9026; Finder will be joined by author Berry, bookmarkbeach.com.

JACKSONVILLE SUNS VS. JACKSON GENERALS The Suns kick off a homestand against the Generals 7:05 p.m. July 26 (Trending Tuesday), July 27 (Date Night, Books & Bats Reading), July 28 (Mavericks Live Thirsty Thursday), and July 29 (Red Shirt Friday, Florida-Georgia), 6:05 p.m. July 30 (Serious Mulletude Night, Randy Johnson Expos Replica Jersey Giveaway), at Bragan Field Baseball Grounds, single game tix $5-$18, 358-2846, jaxsuns.com. Next up: Biloxi Shuckers!

HARRIET BEECHER STOWE TALK Emily Lisska, Jacksonville Historical Society executive director, discusses Stowe’s experiences in Northeast Florida, 5:30-6:30 p.m.

July 27, at Main Library’s The Lounge, 303 N. Laura St., Downtown, 630-2353, jaxpubliclibrary.org.

TAI CHI CLASSES Free Tai Chi for Health & Wellness Classes are held 6:30-7:30 a.m. every Tue. and Thur., 200 First St. Courtyard, Neptune Beach, 234-0038.

DARWIN & DINOSAURS The Museum of Science & History presents an exhibit with full-size dinosaur skeletons, scientific instruments, original letters, and first editions of Darwin’s main works, through Sept. 5, 1025 Museum Cir., Southbank, 607-9720, themosh.org. ____________________________________________ To list an event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price, contact number to print to Daniel A. Brown – email dbrown@folioweekly.com or mail, 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Items run as space is available. Deadline noon Wed. for next Wed. printing.

FOLIO A+E : MUSIC

HOOKED

UP

The Connection Festival returns with ANOTHER KILLER LINEUP of musical styles for every taste Against Me!

T

wenty-five years from now, music critics are going to look back on this decade and write lots of thoughtful words pinpointing the 2010s as the moment music festivals morphed forever. Gone is the mentality that says a festival has to cater to a specific demographic — instead, artistic diversity and opposites-attractstyle programming are seen creative preferences and opportunities to sell more tickets.

As music fans, that’s OK with us. We’ll take the opportunity to see 10 (or 20, or 30) wildly divergent bands in one place any day of the week. Which is why we’re so excited about this year’s Connection Festival, sponsored by X102.9 and Community Bank. Like oldschool East Coast hip-hop? Ferocious political punk? Epic emo rock? Irreverent dance music? Dreamy electro-pop? Metal, ska, jazz, hardcore, folk, and reggae? Then you’ve hit the jackpot, because all of those touchstones are on the roster July 23 at Metropolitan Park. We chose a few of the most exciting things about Connection Festival — and we’ll be there with you, diggin’ them all this weekend.

Wu-Tang Clan there’s everyone else. The Wu redefined rap music’s landscape in the mid-’90s, when a ragtag crew of MCs emerged from the dark recesses of Staten Island with what may be the most epic concept album of all time, Enter the WuTang (36 Chambers). Immediately thereafter, they implemented a brilliant business and marketing plan that turned the yellow W into a ubiquitous global symbol that still carries legit street-cred cachet to this day. There’s no telling which of Wu-Tang’s original nine members will be at ConnectFest, but whoever it is will still spit some of the sickest rhymes over some of the hardest beats ever conceived.

AGAINST ME! Is there a more powerful punk band operating right now? Call us biased — frontwoman Laura Jane Grace grew up in BOUNCING SOULS New Brunswick, New Jersey, Southwest Florida and spent good chunks is a hop, skip, and a jump across Arthur Kill of time living in both Gainesville and St. from Staten Island, but The Bouncing Souls Augustine — but we don’t think so. Calling came up in a much different scene. In the late out sexism, racism, capitalist conformity, ’80s and early ’90s, their fizzy pogo pop-punk and homophobia since 1996, Against Me! came to define New Jersey’s basement scene. really hit its stride a few years back, when What’s most pivotal about Bouncing Souls?

Grace emerged as the tall, Their foresight: They started brash, take-no-prisoners face their own label, Chunksaah of rock ’n’ roll’s transgender Records, from the beginning, CONNECTION FESTIVAL Noon-11 p.m. July 23, movement. Best of all? and even after joining the Metropolitan Park, Her music (and her band’s punk-rock major leagues Downtown, $45-$100, performance intensity) only with Epitaph Records, they connectionfestival.com. got better with each headmaintained a fiercely DIY Details in our Concerts This banging, body-moving, mentality. That’s why, 25 years Week listing on page 27. thought-provoking song. on, they’re still held up as pioneers of pop-punk and ST. LUCIA Synth-pop never sounds as bearers of the blue-collar New Jersey torch. sumptuous as it does from South AfricaAnd with a new album this summer, they still born, Brooklyn-residing producer Jean-Philip work as hard as anyone.

Grobler. His aquamarine musical hues are perfect for a summer festival, but don’t expect BIG DATA It’s possible everyone in the world has heard Big Data’s “Dangerous” at some an easy-going, phoned-in set: St. Lucia made point. The slippery backbeat is infectious, the waves with critics on the 2016 album Matter, which many dubbed too maximalist and chorus is contagious, and the music video, multihued. But pushing outside of electronic which used individual Facebook timelines music’s preconceived boundaries is a hallmark as fodder for an interactive, voyeuristic of the genre, and we can’t wait to see what kind voyage, made headlines when it dropped of epic live show Grobler brings to Jacksonville. in 2013. Like so many of the artists playing Connection Fest, the trio has also kept total WU-TANG CLAN When it comes to hip-hop control over its music and public persona, history, there’s Wu-Tang Clan — and then releasing everything on producer Alan

Cage the Elephant Wilkis’ Wilcassettes label and choosing savvy collaborations with celebs like Rivers Cuomo and Jamie Lidell. And, hey, we’ll say it — when Big Data plays “Dangerous,” we guarantee everyone in Metro Park will lose it.

TAKING BACK SUNDAY, CAGE THE ELEPHANT These co-headliners (along with Wu-Tang) push rock ’n’ roll into wildly divergent directions, but each does it with bravado and unexpected left turns — all while cultivating intensely passionate fan bases. Over the course of four albums, Cage the Elephant has careened from classic funk to garage blues to psychedelic punk, but brothers Matt and Brad Shultz continue to age gracefully into their eccentricities. And, sure, Taking Back Sunday has served as the epitome of the emo crest of the 2000s (and its attendant revival in the 2010s). But chances are you won’t sit down the entire time these rousing Long Island rockers play their instruments. They bring it and, no matter the genre, you can’t argue with that.

SO MANY GREAT LOCAL BANDS From the reggae-inspired (Beebs & Her Moneymakers, Control This) to the uniquely Floridian punk-rap hybrid (Whole Wheat Bread, Askmeificare) to the lushly country-fried (Jackie Stranger, Speaking Cursive), the local undercard is stacked at this year’s Connection Festival. More bands — Colours, Moya Moya, Universal Green — are integral members of Northeast Florida’s thriving music community, so arrive early to show all of them some much-deserved support. (And props to Connection Festival organizers for naming the stage where most of them perform after Jacksonville’s original name, Cowford).

And, hey, if all this joy hasn’t ignited you, here’s the topper: This year’s festival is hosted

by Pauly Shore. Yeah, that Pauly Freakin’ Shore. Here’s looking at you, buuuuud-dy.

Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly.com JULY 20 - 26, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25

FOLIO A+E : MUSIC

DARK

Auric stakes their claim in the NEXT WAVE OF METAL with their latest album, Empty Seas

ENERGIES

M

etal continues to bring the noise. Trends roll onward, flavors and styles — even careers — rise and fall with the next assault of hashtags and viral clips. Yet metal, in all of its glorious, dimed-out, misanthropic splendor, refuses to die. Along with its equally aggro sibling, noise, metal perpetually reinvents and sustains itself on the strengths of a community that is as ardently protective of the music as it is indifferent to the general population’s acknowledgment, let alone acceptance, of a scene that’s inherently defiant.

While the roots dig deep, and are surely tethered to protean metal gods like Black Sabbath and Led Zeppelin, its tendrils are now connected through myriad offshoots. Black metal, thrash, even (good Lord) Christian metal, in the past four decades the music has mutated into a heady mix of styles and scenes.

But like much of the best things in art, the real gems are uncovered when you dig deep.

Case in point — Auric. The four-piece from Fayetteville, Arkansas are indicative of the quality of the current underground metal scene. With an average age of 21, the band — Erik Ebsen (guitar/vocals), Mitchell Fenex (guitar/vocals), Mason Gills (bass), and Logan West (drums/vocals) — Auric are on the vanguard of contemporary metal. But age aside, their latest album, Empty Seas, is an impressive collection of songs ranging from the lurching “Husks,” to album-closer “Rib

Cage Prison,” a 12-minute epic of melodic shifts and skull-rattling drones.

Auric describes their sound as “progressive sludge metal,” which is a fitting label. In lieu of blast beats, de rigueur drop tunings, demonic “cookie monster” vocals, and other signifiers of much extreme metal, Auric aren’t afraid to drop in melodious passages in the middle of their impressive metallic wallop. Their real strengths lie in knowing that subtleties are key. In lieu of a volley of arpeggios and blinding two-four beats, Auric realizes that one sonorous chord and static beat can multiply the damage.

The band is currently in the middle of a 23-date tour, their first ever, that will take them from the East Coast to Texas. Local metalheads can check out Auric’s personal take on metal overload this Friday, July 22, with openers Unearthly Child and Saturnine at Shantytown Pub. Folio Weekly Magazine checked in with the band spokesman West during a tour stop in Baton Rouge.

Folio Weekly Magazine: Since you’re out on the road for your first tour, playing these shows, crashing on couches, and being in the middle of the community, what is your take on the current underground metal scene?

Logan West: You know, it’s real DIY right now. Even some of the bigger bands still want

to play 100-capacity DIY spots. And one thing I’ve noticed is that everyone is really nice, especially with the slower, down-tuned, sludgy stuff, it’s really a supportive scene.

On your Bandcamp page, you describe yourselves as being “progressive sludge metal.” What are some of the elements in your sound that you think bear that out?

Well, I think that we try to throw a riff in there for everybody. So we’ll do some black metal stuff, and I think in terms of “progressive” of things like Mastodon and Baroness, where you mix sludge with guitar harmonies.

When you say “progressive,” is that a tip of the hat to older, heavier prog rock from the ’70s, like King Crimson or Magma?

Oh, yeah. I love King Crimson. A couple of us really love the Mars Volta. So we definitely try to throw in some of those sounds into the mix.

The songs on Empty Seas are generally fairly long. Did you all initially start out playing more of a faster, blast-beat style and then gradually begin exploring longer song structures?

When we started out, we were probably 14 or 15 years old and we sounded like something like Between the Buried and Me and Gojira, and some of those faster bands. So we have those fast, technical roots, but it’s like we had to get that out of our system. But the new music started getting into some more heavy shit and it became more developed over the years.

From the outside looking in, what do you think are some of the greatest misconceptions about this realm and style of metal?

Oh, I don’t know. Maybe people think this kind of metal is sleek but still has some kind of dirty edge. But who knows? We’re just a bunch of goofball fuckin’ kids from Arkansas.

We don’t really have any friends. We just hang out and play music.

Daniel A. Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com

AURIC, UNEARTHLY CHILD, SATURNINE

8 p.m. July 22, Shantytown Pub, Springfield, $5, facebook.com/shantytownjax

26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 20 - 26, 2016

Country artist DYLAN SCOTT (pictured) performs with JORDAN RAGER and DANIELLE LAUDERDALE July 21 at The Jacksonville Landing, Downtown.

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK

SPADE McQUADE 6 p.m. July 20, Fionn MacCool’s Irish Pub, Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247.

5 SECONDS of SUMMER 7:30 p.m. July 20, Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., Downtown, 630-3900, $24-$78.95.

TED NUGENT 8 p.m. July 20, Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $29.50-$49.50.

VELOCIRAPTURE, CAVE MOTHS, CARPADIUM, ZAFTIGK, OBSERVATORY 8 p.m. July 20, Shanghai Nobby’s, 10 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 547-2188.

Music by the Sea: MR. NATURAL 7 p.m. July 20, St. Augustine Beach Pier & Pavilion, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., thecivicassociation.org. Bring something to sit on.

DYLAN SCOTT, JORDAN RAGER, DANIELLE LAUDERDALE 6 p.m. July 21, Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 353-1188.

Concerts in the Plaza: THE FALLING BONES 7 p.m. July 21, Plaza de la Constitución, St. George & King streets, St. Augustine, 825-1004, concertsintheplaza.com.

Adult Twilight BYOB Cruises: RADIO LOVE, LARRY LeMIER, JIM BARCARO 7 p.m. July 21, 22 & 23, from 1 N. Front St., Fernandina, 261-9972; ameliarivercruises.com.

ROBERT LESTER FOLSOM, LAUREN FINCHAM, ROY PEAK 7:30 p.m. July 21, Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., St. Nicholas, 352-7008, $10.

Ryan Turk Birthday Show: DIGDOG, LAVA, CHIBOLOS, The DOG APOLLO, SUNSPOTS, PARADIGM RIFT, JACKIE STRANGER 8 p.m. July 21, 1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St., Downtown, $5 advance; $8 day of.

“3” the BAND 9 p.m. July 21, Flying Iguana, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680.

Villainfest 2016: BLEEDING in STEREO, AUTOMATIK FIT, F.I.L.T.H., NEW DAY, SALEM HOLLOW, INNER DEMONS, LOWRCASE G, PHD 6 p.m. July 22, Mavericks Live, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 356-1110, $10 advance; $15 day of.

DENNY BLUE 7 p.m. July 22, The Kingfish Grill, 252 Yacht Club Dr., St. Augustine, 824-2111.

SAM BURCHFIELD, CHASING JONAH 8 p.m. July 22, 1904 Music Hall, $8 advance; $10 day of.

PLEASURES, ZIEL ZUSTER 8 p.m. July 22, The Headlamp, 818 Clay St., Springfield.

The HELMSMEN, WEST KING STREET BAND 8 p.m. July 22, Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $8.

AURIC, SATURNINE, UNEARTHLY CHILD 8 p.m. July 22, Shantytown Pub, 22 W. Sixth St., Springfield, 798-8222, $5.

CASH WILLIAMS SHOW 8 p.m. July 22, Shanghai Nobby’s, 10 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 547-2188.

SEA CYCLES, WRAY, DEATH LOOP QUARTET 9 p.m. July 22, Rain Dogs, 1045 Park St., Riverside, 379-4969.

BIG LOGIC & the TRUTH SERUM 9 p.m. July 22, Mardi Gras Sports Bar, 123 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine, 823-8806.

BLISTUR 9:30 p.m. July 22 & 23, Whiskey Jax, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., 634-7208.

EVAN MICHAEL & the WELL WISHERS 10 p.m. July 22 & 23, Flying Iguana.

IVEY WEST BAND 10 p.m. July 22 & 23, The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 264-0611, $2.

Riverside Arts Market: MORNING YOGA with BRIGID MURPHY (9 a.m.), DIXIE RODEO, MARK SHINE, DONNA FROST,

ALISSA LEONARD 10:30 a.m. July 23, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449.

Connection Festival: WU-TANG CLAN, CAGE the ELEPHANT, TAKING BACK SUNDAY, AGAINST ME!, THE BOUNCING SOULS, BIG DATA, ST. LUCIA, NEW BEAT FUND, NEVER SHOUT NEVER, NEW YORK SKA JAZZ ENSEMBLE, RUN RIVER NORTH, BEEBS & HER MONEY MAKERS, MZG LIVE: ALLEN AUCOIN, WHOLE WHEAT BREAD, COLOURS, WATER SEED, CONTROL THIS!, ASKMEIFICARE, MOYA MOYA, CLOUD9 VIBES, BROTHER HAWK, SKYVIEW, UNIVERSAL GREEN, SHANNON OGDEN, SECRET CIGARETTES, JACKIE STRANGER, SPEAKING CURSIVE, EROC, CAT McWILLIAMS BAND, HOST PAULY SHORE Noon July 23, Metropolitan Park, 1410 Gator Bowl Blvd., Downtown, $45-$100, connectionfestival.com.

DIVORCE CULTURE, AUTOMATIK FIT, The PINECONE SHAKE, LOVERS QUARREL, MINOR INFLUENCE, YOUNG for a DAY, BORN in JUNE, DENIED TIL DEATH 5 p.m. July 23, Harmonious Monks, 320 First St. N., Jax Beach, 372-0815, $10 advance; $12 day of.

MEAN MARY 7:30 p.m. July 23, Mudville Music Room, $10.

DAVIS TURNER 8 p.m. July 23, Slider’s Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., Fernandina Beach, 277-6652.

LOVECHUNK, DANA MASSIVE, WINTER ROSE 8 p.m. July 23, Jack Rabbits, $8.

CLOUD RAT, CLOSET BURNER, DEFORMED, WØRSEN, MARSELLUS 8 p.m. July 23, Rain Dogs.

TEDDY JOHNSTON & CREW 8 p.m. July 23, Shanghai Nobby’s.

BAD SOD 9 p.m. July 23, Mardi Gras Sports Bar. FLY SOCKS & TEES 3, The CHARM 9 p.m. July 23, 1904 Music Hall, $5.

MY ONLY SAFE HARBOR, HOPSON ROAD 8 p.m. July 24, Jack Rabbits, $8 advance; $10 day of.

DARREN CORLEW 8:30 p.m. July 24, Flying Iguana.

AFTON SHOWCASE 6 p.m. July 24, 1904 Music Hall, $14.25.

NILE, AFTER the BURIAL, SUFFOCATION 5 p.m. July 25,

Mavericks Live, $25 advance; $30 day of.

311, MATISYAHU 5 p.m. July 26, St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., 209-0367, $44.50-$54.50.

RHYTHM of FEAR, CRINGE, PALAFOXX, CORRUPTED SAINT 8 p.m. July 26, 1904 Music Hall, $7.

WHITE KNIGHT 8 p.m. July 26, Shanghai Nobby’s Music by the Sea: The GRAPES of ROTH 7 p.m. July 27, St. Augustine Beach Pier & Pavilion, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., thecivicassociation.org. Bring something to sit on.

The FRIGHTS, HUNNY, GYMSHORTS 7 p.m. July 27, 1904 Music Hall, $12.

LAYDEN & the LION, NORTHE 8 p.m. July 27, Jack Rabbits, $8 advance; $10 day of.

CLOUD RAT, CAVE MOTH, YASHIRA, ARMS 8 p.m. July 27, Shanghai Nobby’s

UPCOMING CONCERTS

CANAAN SMITH, TUCKER BEATHARD, AUBREY WOLLETT & SOUTHERN SASS July 28, Jacksonville Landing LUKE COMBS July 29, Mavericks Live THE THROWS July 29, Shanghai Nobby’s BRING IT! LIVE July 29, The Florida Theatre MR. CLIT & the PINK CIGARETTES July 29, The Headlamp EMMA MOSELEY BAND, KRISTOPHER JAMES, CURT TOWNE BAND July 30, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Backyard Party MANNEQUIN PUSSY, STOVE July 30, Shanghai Nobby’s Fifth annual Wayne Barlow Music Scholarship Fundraiser:

The GROOV BAND July 30, Ramona Pavilion Ballroom FFN, SWILL, The WASTEDIST July 30, Harbor Tavern MANNEQUIN PUSSY, COSMIC GROOVE July 30, Shanghai Nobby’s MATTHEW LOGAN VASQUEZ July 31, Café Eleven KITTY TSUNAMI July 31, Shanghai Nobby’s DAVID BAZAN, MICHAEL NAU Aug. 4, Jack Rabbits LIL UZI VERT, G-HERBO Aug. 4, The Florida Theatre CHRIS STAPLETON Aug. 4, St. Augustine Amphitheatre J.W. TELLER Aug. 5, The Headlamp The HIPABUCTION Aug. 6, Lynch’s Irish Pub The ACACIA STRAIN, OCEANO, KNOCKED LOOSE, CULTURE KILLER, TO the WIND Aug. 6, 1904 Music Hall BLAIRE HANKS Aug. 6, Mavericks Live The KICKBACK, HEY ROCCO Aug. 7, Jack Rabbits 21st annual China Cat Sunflower Festival: The OUIJA BROTHERS, DAVE HENDERSHOTT & FRIENDS, PARADOXYMORON, STEVE ALVARADO Aug. 7, Karpeles Manuscript Library Museum MAXWELL Aug. 7, Times-Union Center MISTERWIVES Aug. 7, St. Augustine Amphitheatre CANDACE Aug. 9, The Headlamp

JULY 20 - 26, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC

Madison, Wisconsin Grindcore heads CLOUD RAT (pictured) perform with CAVE MOTH, YASHIRA and ARMS July 27 at Shanghai Nobby’s, St. Augustine.

Outcry Tour: HILLSONG WORSHIP, KARI JOBE, REND

COLLECTIVE, HOUSEFIRES, URBAN RESCUE, CHAD VEACH Aug. 10, Veterans Memorial Arena SLIGHTLY STOOPID, SOJA, FORTUNATE YOUTH Aug. 11, St. Augustine Amphitheatre KENNY & the JETS Aug. 14, The Headlamp RAY LaMONTAGNE Aug. 14, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DAVID LIEBE HART, ELECTRIC WATER, The UNITED TYLERS of TYLER, MR. NEVER & the SCARS Aug. 17, The Headlamp BONEY JAMES Aug. 18, The Florida Theatre SHROUD EATER, DEAD HAND, YASHIRA, SHADOW HUNTER, UNEARTHLY CHILD Aug. 19, Rain Dogs.

LYLE LOVETT & HIS LARGE BAND Aug. 20, Florida Theatre TALK SICK BRATS, The MOLD Aug. 24, The Headlamp Sing Out Loud Festival: BRANDI CARLILE, INDIGO GIRLS, BOOKER T. JONES, The TRAVELIN’ McCOURYS, KENNY & the JETS, COLIN HAY, JOEY HARKUM, REV. PEYTON’S BIG DAMN BAND, LUCERO, ADDI & JACQ, JIM & PATTY SPRINGFIELD, CANDLEBOX, COMPLICATED ANIMALS, LONESOME BERT & the SKINNY LIZARDS, The MOUNTAIN GOATS, TIM BARRY, MARCELLUS HALL, SHEA BIRNEY, THIS FRONTIER NEEDS HEROES, WEST KING STRING BAND, JOE ROCCO, The YOUNG STEP, The FREE RANGERS, SHOVELS

& ROPE, ROBBIE DAMMIT & the BROKEN STRINGS, NICHOLAS ROBERTS, J. LEE DRISKELL, JACOB HAMILTON, SKIN & BONZ, AMY HENDRICKSON, RIVERNECKS, BAD BOOKS, BOB PATTERSON, DAN ADRIANO, TED LEO, SAM PACETTI, ASLYN & the NAYSAYERS, CORY BRANAN, The WILLOWWACKS, JEREMY ROGERS, FRANK TURNER, HOLOPAW Aug. 26, 27 & 31, Sept. 2, 3, 9 & 10, St. Augustine Amphitheatre, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, St. Augustine Beach, Ponte Vedra, other venues The ORCHESTRA ELO’s Greatest Hits (members of ELO, Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra) Aug. 27, Florida Theatre WAYNE BRADY Aug. 27, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts Kings & Queens of Hip Hop: DMX, BONE THUGS-N-HARMONY, TRINA, JUVENILE, SCARFACE, BIGGA RANKIN, MIKE JONES, KHIA, WAYNE WONDE Aug. 27, Veterans Memorial Arena JILL SCOTT Aug. 28, T-U Center for the Performing Arts GOO GOO DOLLS, COLLECTIVE SOUL, TRIBE SOCIETY Aug. 31, St. Augustine Amphitheatre KENNY G Sept. 1, The Florida Theatre TONY JOE WHITE Sept. 2, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall HEPATAGUA Sept. 5, Shantytown Pub MELVINS Sept. 8, Jack Rabbits BRIAN WILSON, AL JARDINE, BLONDIE CHAPLIN Sept. 10,

St. Augustine Amphitheatre JAKE SHIMABUKURO Sept. 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ZAC BROWN BAND, DRAKE WHITE & the BIG FIRE Sept. 17, Veterans Memorial Arena HELL YEAH Sept. 21, Mavericks Live IL DIVO Sept. 23, The Florida Theatre WIDESPREAD PANIC Sept. 23 & 24, St. Augustine Amphitheatre SOFIJA KNEZEVIC Sept. 23, Ritz Theatre The ANN WILSON THING Sept. 28, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall JONNY LANG Sept. 30, The Florida Theatre SARAH JAROSZ, PARKER MILLSAP Sept. 30, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall The DANDY WARHOLS, SAVOY MOTEL Oct. 4, P.V. Concert Hall GEORGE THOROGOOD & the DESTROYERS Oct. 6, Florida Theatre KORN, BREAKING BENJAMIN Oct. 12, Vets Memorial Arena DONNA the BUFFALO, PETER ROWAN BLUEGRASS BAND, BLUEGROUND UNDERGRASS Oct. 13-16, Suwannee Music Park NEEDTOBREATHE, MAT KEARNY, PARACHUTE, WELSHLY ARMS Oct. 13, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Jacksonville Music Fest: MAZE, FRANKIE BEVERLY, JAHEIM, JOE Oct. 14, Veterans Memorial Arena Beaches Oktoberfest: BLUES TRAVELER, COLLIE BUDDZ, The MOVEMENT Oct. 14-16, SeaWalk Pavilion, Jax Beach Live Original Tour: SADIE ROBERTSON Oct. 14, Florida Theatre 20th annual Magnolia Fest: JJ GREY & MOFRO, KELLER WILLIAMS, The INFAMOUS STRINGDUSTERS, ZACH DEPUTY, BILLY BRAGG, SARAH LEE GUTHRIE, THIS FRONTIER NEEDS HEROES Oct. 15, St. Augustine Amphitheatre KIM RICHEY Oct. 16, Café Eleven STEVEN CURTIS CHAPMAN, MAC POWELL, BRANDON HEATH Oct. 16, T-U Center for the Performing Arts MIKE STERN TRIO Oct. 16, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall EDEN, XX Oct. 17, Jack Rabbits THE PSYCHEDELIC FURS Oct. 18, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall KEB’ MO’ BAND Oct. 18, The Florida Theatre JOSH RITTER Oct. 20, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CHASE BRYANT Oct. 20, Mavericks Live LINDSEY STIRLING Oct. 27, The Florida Theatre The AVETT BROTHERS Oct. 28, Veterans Memorial Arena SCOTT BRADLEE’S POSTMODERN JUKEBOX Oct. 16, The Florida Theatre BONNIE RAITT Oct. 29, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DEPARTMENT of CORRECTION, DIE CHOKING Oct. 29, raindogs.

LORD ALMIGHTY Nov. 3, Shantytown Pub NF Nov. 3, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall LO CASH Nov. 3, Mavericks Live GHOST, POPESTAR Nov. 4, The Florida Theatre BLAIR CRIMMINS & the HOOKERS Nov. 5, Café Eleven ZZ TOP Nov. 5, St. Augustine Amphitheatre The DOOBIE BROTHERS, The FABULOUS THUNDERBIRDS Nov. 11, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ODD SQUAD LIVE! Nov. 12, The Florida Theatre CHRIS YOUNG, CASSADEE POPE Nov. 12, St. Aug Amphitheatre TRACY MORGAN Nov. 12, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts WAR Nov. 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SAVION GLOVER Nov. 18, The Florida Theatre YELLOWCARD Nov. 18, Mavericks Live WVRM FEST 4 Nov. 18 & 19, 1904 Music Hall MANNHEIM STEAMROLLER Nov. 21, T-U Center ANIMAL COLLECTIVE Nov. 22, Mavericks Live QUEENSRYCHE, ARMORED SAINT Nov. 29, Mavericks Live CALIFORNIA GUITAR TRIO Dec. 1, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PATRICK BARTLEY Dec. 1, Ritz Theatre STANLEY CLARKE Dec. 2, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall A PETER WHITE CHRISTMAS: RICK BRAUN, EUGE GROOVE Dec. 11, The Florida Theatre The OAK RIDGE BOYS Dec. 13, The Florida Theatre GRIFFIN HOUSE Dec. 18, Café Eleven JEANNE ROBERTSON Jan. 21, The Florida Theatre ELVIS LIVES Jan. 24, T-U Center KENNY ROGERS, LINDA DAVIS Jan. 28, Thrasher-Horne Center CHRISTIE DASHIELL Feb. 2, Ritz Theatre The BABES Feb. 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall COLIN HAY Feb. 22, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall JOE BONAMASSA Feb. 22, The Florida Theatre The WEIGHT (with members of The Band) March 3, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall

LIVE MUSIC CLUBS

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA

ALLEY CAT BEER HOUSE, 316 Centre St., 491-1001 Dan Voll 6:30 p.m. July 20 LA MANCHA, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646 Miguel Paley jazz show 5:30-9 p.m. every Fri.-Sun. Javier Parez every Sun. KNUCKLEHEADS Bar, 850532 U.S. 17, 222-2380 Shayne Rammler July 16. Bandontherun July 17 SLIDERS Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652 King Eddie & Pili Pili 6 p.m. July 20. Tad Jennings July 21.

Milltown Road, DJ Dave July 22. Radio Love, 7th Street, Davis Turner July 23. Savanna Bassett, Down Yonder July 24.

Darrell Rae July 25. Two Dudes 6 p.m. July 26 SURF Restaurant, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Russell Bryant July 20. Larry & the Backtracks July 24. Yancy Clegg every Tue. & Thur. Black Jack Band every Fri.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

CASBAH Café, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free 9 p.m. Tue. & Thur.

28 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 20 - 26, 2016

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC A great night of local singer-songwriters is on the bill when ROY PEAK (pictured) performs with ROBERT LESTER FOLSOM and LAUREN FINCHAM, July 21 at Mudville Music Room, St. Nicholas.

Indie dance 9 p.m. every Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance every Fri. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns, 388-0200 Live music every Thur.-Sat.

THE BEACHES (All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted)

BRASS ANCHOR Pub, 2292 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0301 Martini Live, The Dialtones, Craig Black, Joe Oliff July 20 The BRIX Taphouse, 300 Second St. N., 241-4668 Savannah Leigh Bassett 9 p.m. July 20. Yamadeo July 21 FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 3 the Band 9 p.m. July 21. Evan Michael & the Well Wishers 10 p.m. July 22 & 23. Darren Corlew 8:30 p.m. July 24 GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925 Groov 7:30 p.m. every Wed. Murray Goff 7:30 p.m. every Fri. Under the Bus 7:30 p.m. every Sat. Gene Nordan 6 p.m. Sun. HARBOR TAVERN, 160 Mayport Rd., AB, 246-2555 FFN, Swill, The Wastedist July 30 HARMONIOUS Monks, 320 First St. N., 372-0815 Framing the Red, Emma Moseley July 22. Divorce Culture, Automatik Fit, The Pinecone Shake, Lovers Quarrel, Minor Influence, Young for a Day, Born in June, Denied Til Death 5 p.m. July 23 LYNCH’S Irish Pub, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Swim in the Wild 10 p.m. July 22. Fratello 10 p.m. July 23 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 Third St. N., 241-5600 Brown Bag Special July 21 MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573 Gypsies Ginger every Wed. Mike Shackelford, Steve Shanholtzer every Thur. Mezza Shuffle every Mon. Trevor Tanner every Tue. MONKEY’S UNCLE Tavern, 1728 N. Third St., 246-1070 DJ Wed., Sat. & Sun. Live music Fri. RAGTIME Tavern, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877 Billy Bowers July 20. Kenny Holliday Band July 21. Cloud 9 July 22 & 23. Holliday & Duffy July 24. Live music every Wed.-Sun. SEACHASERS, 831 First St. N., 372-0444 Jamie Noel 8 p.m.

July 21. Chad & Sara 8 p.m. July 22. Anton LaPlume 8:30 p.m. July 23. Justina Shafer July 24. Jerico open mic 7 p.m.

July 25. Rachel Warfield 8 p.m. July 28 ZETA BREWING COMPANY, 131 First Ave. N., 372-0727 Trev Barnes July 21

DOWNTOWN

1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N. Ryan Turk Birthday Show: Digdog, Lava, Chibolos, The Dog Apollo, Sunspots, Paradigm Rift, Jackie Stranger 8 p.m. July 21. Sam Burchfield, Chasing Jonah 8 p.m. July 22. Fly Socks & Tees 3, The Charm 9 p.m. July 23. Afton Showcase, Digital Skyline 6 p.m. July 24. Rhythm of Fear, Holophonics, Cringe, Palafoxx, Corrupted Saint 8 p.m. July 26. The Frights, Hunny, Gymshorts 7 p.m. July 27 The BIRDHOUSE, 1827 N. Pearl St. Losing Teeth 7 p.m.

July 22 DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 BlackJack Wed. DJ Brandon Thur. DJs spin dance music Fri. DJ NickFresh every Sat. DJ Randall every Mon. DJ Hollywood every Tue. FIONN MacCOOL’S, The Landing, 374-1247 Spade McQuade 6 p.m. July 20. Ace Winn July 23 HOURGLASS Pub, 345 E. Bay St., 469-1719 Bay Street Jam every Fri. The LANDING, 353-1188 Dylan Scott, Jordan Rager, Danielle Lauderdale 6 p.m. July 21 MARK’S Downtown, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Dr. Doom 10 p.m. every Fri. DJ Shotgun 10 p.m. every Sat. MAVERICKS LIVE, Jax Landing, 356-1110 Tropkillaz, Oski July 20. Villainfest 2016: Salem Hollow, New Day, Bleeding in Stereo, F.I.L.T.H., Inner Demons, Lowrcase G, Phd, Automatik Fit 6 p.m. July 22. Nile, After the Burial, Suffocation, Axiom, Emporos July 25. Luke Combs July 29.

Joe Buck, DJ Justin every Thur.-Sat. MYTH Nightclub & Bar, 333 E. Bay St., 707-0474 Franklin Freshman July 20. Christian Martin July 23. DJs Lady Miaou, Booty Boo, Cry Havoc, Some Dude 9 p.m. for Glitz every Wed. Q45, live music every Wed. EDM every Thur. Eric Rush every Fri. DJ IBay every Sat. Bangarang & Crunchay every Sun.

FLEMING ISLAND

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999 Live music most weekends WHITEY’S Fish Camp, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Jimi Graves 7:30 p.m. July 21. Smooth McFlea 9 p.m. July 22.

Lonely Highway 9 p.m. July 23

INTRACOASTAL WEST

CLIFF’S BAR, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 Clinton Darnell July 20. Warning July 22. Jay Garrett & the Pack July 23. Live music most weekends JERRY’S Grille, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766 Mr. Natural July 22. Go Ask Alice July 23

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

The HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael Tue.-Sat. The ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Hipp Street July 20. DJ Big Mike July 21. Ivey West Band 10 p.m. July 22 & 23. Confluent 10 p.m. July 27

SHARK CLUB, 714 Park Ave., 215-1557 Digital Skyline 9 p.m. July 20

PONTE VEDRA

PUSSER’S, 816 A1A, 280-7766 Live music most weekends TABLE 1, 330 A1A, 280-5515 Tier 2 July 20. Gary Starling Jazz Band 7:30 p.m. July 21. Scott Elley July 22. Robbie Litt July 23. Deron Baker 6 p.m. July 27

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

DERBY on PARK, 1068 Park St., 379-3343 Live music weekends RAIN Dogs, 1045 Park, 379-4969 Save Face 7 p.m. July 20. Sea Cycles, Wray, Death Loop Quartet July 22. Cloud Rat, Closet Burner, Deformed, Wørsen, Marsellus July 23 RIVERSIDE Arts Market, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449 Dixie Rodeo, Mark Shine, Donna Frost, Alissa Leonard 10:30 a.m. July 23

ST. AUGUSTINE

CAFE ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311 Matthew Logan Vasquez July 31 MARDI GRAS, 123 San Marco Ave., 823-8806 Big Logic & the Truth Serum 9 p.m. July 22. Bad Sod 9 p.m. July 23.

Songwriters Stage July 25. DJ Rob St. John every Wed. Live music Fri. & Sat. PLANET SARBEZ, 115 Anastasia Blvd., 342-0632 Glazed, Good Thoughts, Golden Deanna 7 p.m. July 31 SHANGHAI Nobby’s, 10 Anastasia Blvd., 547-2188 Cave Moths, Velocirapture, Carpadium, Zaftgik, Observatory July 20. Brandon Lockhart PJ Party July 21. Cash Williams July 22. Teddy Johnston & Crew 8 p.m. July 23. White Knight July 26. Cloud Rat, Yashira July 27 TRADEWINDS LOUNGE, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Cottonmouth July 22 & 23. Live music 9 p.m. Fri. & Sat.

SAN MARCO

JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 The Helmsmen, West King Street Band 8 p.m. July 22.

Lovechunk, Dana Massive, Stephen Pigman Music, Winter Rose 8 p.m. July 23. My Only Safe Harbor, Hopson Road 8 p.m. July 24. Layden & the Lion, Northe 8 p.m. July 27 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Robert Lester Folsom, Lauren Fincham, Roy Peak 7:30 p.m.

July 21. Mean Mary July 23. Grandpa’s Cough Medicine July 28

SOUTHSIDE, BAYMEADOWS

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 997-1955 Mark O’Quinn July 21. DiCarlo July 22. CJ Matthew July 23 WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., 634-7208 Blistur 9:30 p.m. July 22 & 23. Melissa Smith’s open mic Thur. Blues jam Sun. Live music every weekend WORLD OF BEER, 9700 Deer Lake Ct.,, 551-5929 Lauris Vidal 9 p.m. July 22. Radio Love 9 p.m. July 23

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

THE HEADLAMP, 818 Clay St. Pleasures, Ziel Zuster 8 p.m.

July 22. Mr. Clit & the Pink Cigarettes July 29 SHANTYTOWN PUB, 22 W. Sixth St., 798-8222 Auric, Saturnine, Unearthly Child 8 p.m. July 22 To list your band’s gig, please send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price, and a contact number to print to Daniel A. Brown, email dbrown@folioweekly.com or by the U.S. Postal Service, 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202.

Events run on a space-available basis. Deadline noon Wed. for next Wednesday’s publication.

JULY 20 - 26, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 29

FOLIO DINING AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH

BEACH DINER, 2006 S. Eighth St., 310-3750, beachdiner. com. Newest in the popular local chain. Innovative breakfast: Eggs on the Bayou, fish-n-grits; French toast, riders, omelets. Lunch fare: salads, burgers, sandwiches, shrimp & crabmeat salad. $ K TO B L Daily BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F Southern hospitality, upscale waterfront spot; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB L D Daily BURLINGAME RESTAURANT, 20 S. Fifth St., 432-7671, burlingamerestaurant.com. The menu at the fine dining place changes quarterly, focusing on elegantly prepared dishes (8 apps, 8 mains) made with quality seasonal ingredients. Duck confit, grilled pork chops. $$$ BW D Tu-Sa CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo. com. F Family-owned; historic building. Veggie burgers, seafood, made-from-scratch dressings, sauces, desserts.

Dine in or on oak-shaded patio. Karibrew Pub next door. $$ FB K TO R, Su; L Daily, D Tu-Su in season CHEZ LEZAN BAKERY CO., 1014 Atlantic Ave., 491-4663, chezlezanbakery.com. Fresh European-style breads, pastries: croissants, muffins, cakes, pies. $ TO B R L Daily The CRAB TRAP, 31 N. Second St., 261-4749, ameliacrab trap.com. F 37 years, family-owned-and-operated. Fresh local seafood, steaks, specials. HH. $$ FB L D Daily ELIZABETH POINTE Lodge, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabethpointelodge.com. Award-winning B&B. Seaside dining, inside or out. Hot buffet breakfast daily. Homestyle soups, sandwiches, desserts. $$$ BW B L D Daily GILBERT’S Underground Kitchen, 510 S. Eighth St., 310-6374, undergroundkitchen.com. Chef Kenny Gilbert

and savory pastries, cookies, cakes, bagels, breads; made from scratch. $ TO B L W-Su The PICNIC BASKET, 503-A Centre St., 277-9779, picnic basketfernandina.com. Small shop focuses on fresh fare, cheeses, confits, charcuteries, wines. $$ BW B L D M-Sa PI INFINITE COMBINATIONS, 19 S. Third St., 432-8535, piinfinitecombinations.com. All bar service, NYC-style.

Specialty pizzas, pie/slice, toppings: truffle mushrooms, little neck clams, eggs, shrimp. Courtyard. $$ BW TO L D Tu-Sa The SALTY PELICAN Bar & Grill, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. 2nd-story outdoor bar. Owners T.J. & Al offer local seafood, fish tacos, Mayport shrimp, po’boys, cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily The SAVORY MARKET, 474380 E. S.R. 200, 432-8551.

Local, organic produce, wild-caught seafood – Mayport shrimp – Wainwright meats, raw dairy, deli. Café has salads, hand-helds, tacos. $$ TO M-Sa SLIDERS Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F Oceanfront. Crabcakes, fried pickles, fresh seafood. Open-air 2nd floor, balcony. $$ FB K L D Daily T-RAY’S Burger Station, 202 S. Eighth St., 261-6310. F 2015 BOJ winner. Family-owned-and-operated 18+ years.

Blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L M-Sa

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1301 Monument Rd., Ste. 5, 724-5802. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

FLORIDA CREAMERY, 3566 St. Johns Ave., 619-5386.

Ice cream, waffle cones, milkshakes, sundaes, Nathan’s hot dogs. Low-fat, sugar-free choices. $ K TO L D Daily

KIDS COOKING CLASS AT NATIVE SUN PHOTO GOES HERE PER FARRAR (TEXT IS CORRECT BELOW) Andy and all the fun, friendly crew at Moon River Pizza in Fernandina Beach know how to have a great time – it shows in the great pizza that’s a perennial winner in our Best of Jax readers poll.

(Top Chef) serves Deep Southern American cuisine. Dine inside or on a patio. $$ BW K TO L F; D W-Sa & M; R Su HOLA CUBAN CAFÉ, 117 Centre St., 321-0163, holacuban cafe.com. F Behind Palace Saloon; owned by real Cubans; authentic sandwiches, coffee. Dine in or out at umbrella tables. $$ FB K TO R, Su; L D Daily HORIZONS, 5472 First Coast Hwy., 321-2430, horizons ameliaisland.com. Fine dining, upscale setting. Gourmet fare, seafood, steaks, lamb, pasta. $$$ FB L D Tu-Sa JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddian escafe.com. F 1887 shotgun house. Jambalaya, French toast, mac-n-cheese, crêpes, vegan/vegetarian. Dine in or on a porch. $$ FB K B L D Daily La MANCHA, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646. Spanish, Portuguese fare, Brazilian flair. Tapas, seafood, steaks, sangria.

Drink specials. AYCE paella Sunday. $$$ FB K TO D Nightly MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moonriver pizza.net. F 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic Northern-style pizzas, 20+ toppings, pie or slice. $ BW TO L D M-Sa The MUSTARD SEED CAFÉ, 833 Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Casual organic eatery, juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, herbal tea, daily specials. $$ TO B L M-Sa PABLO’S Mexican Restaurant Grill & Cantina, 12 N. Second St., 261-0049. Chicken, carnes, fajitas, burritos, tacos, daily specials, vegetarian. $$ FB K TO L D Daily The PECAN ROLL BAKERY, 122 S. Eighth St., 491-9815, thepecanrollbakery.com. F Near historic district. Sweet To list your restaurant, call your account manager or Sam Taylor, 860-2465 • staylor@folioweekly.com

DINING DIRECTORY KEY

AVERAGE ENTRÉE • COST •

$ = Less than $10 $$ = $10- $20 $$$ = $20- $35 $$$$ = $35 & up BW = Beer/Wine FB = Full Bar K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch L = Lunch D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted free FW Bite Club event. fwbiteclub.com 2015 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot

30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 20 - 26, 2016

HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, harpoonlouies.net. F Locally owned & operated 20+ years. American pub. 1/2-lb. burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta. Local beers, HH. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. PINEGROVE MARKET & DELI, 1511 PineGrove Ave., 389-8655, pinegrovemarket.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. 40+ years. Burgers, Cubans, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher cuts USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. $ BW TO B L D M-Sa RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaur antorsay.com. 2015 BOJ winner. French/Southern bistro; local organic ingredients. Steak frites, mussels, pork chops.

Snail of Approval. $$$ FB R, Su; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simply saras.net. F Down-home fare from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D M-Sa, B Sa

BAYMEADOWS

AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

INDIA’S Restaurant, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajax.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetables, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L M-Sa; D Nightly LARRY’S Subs, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9, 737-7740.

8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., 425-9142. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO.

MINT Indian Restaurant, 8490 Baymeadows, 367-1821, jaxmint.com. Authentic, traditional Indian cuisine. Daily lunch buffet; HH. $ L D Daily NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 11030 Baymeadows Rd., 260-2791. SEE MANDARIN. PATTAYA THAI Grille, 9551 Baymeadows Rd., 646-9506, ptgrille.com. Family-owned 26+ years; serving new Thai, traditional, vegetarian; curries, noodles. Low-sodium, gluten-free, too. Open kitchen. $$$ BW TO L D Tu-Su

BITE-SIZED Kitchen on San Marco PINT-SIZED Wicked Barley GRILL ME! The Hash House CHEFFED-UP Zucchini

P. 31 P. 32 P. 32 P. 33

The WELL WATERING HOLE, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9, 737-7740, thewellwateringhole.com. Local craft beers, glass/bottle wines. Meatloaf sandwich, pulled Peruvian chicken, vegan black bean burgers. HH. $$ BW L M-F; D Tu-Sa ZESTY INDIA, 8358 Point Meadows Dr., 329-3676, zesty india.com. Chefs blend Asian methodology with European template. Tandoori lamb chops, rosemary tikka. Vegetarian items cooked apart in vegetable oil. Lunch platters. $ BW TO L D Tu-Su

BEACHES

(Venues are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 2490002, alspizza.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. New York-style gourmet pizzas, baked dishes 28+ years. All-day HH M-Thu. $ FB K TO L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 2400 S. Third St., Ste. 201, boldbeancoffee.com. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001, europeanstreet.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & Tequila Bar, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 F 2015 BOJ winner.

Latin American, tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana fare.

100+ tequilas. $ FB L D Daily GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925, gustojax.com. Classic Old World Roman cuisine, large Italian menu: homestyle pasta, beef, chicken, fish delicacies; open pizza-tossing kitchen. Reservations encouraged. $$ FB TO D Nightly HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815.

American-style steakhouse, filets, gourmet burgers, ribs, wraps, sandwiches. $$ FB K L D M-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 657 Third St. N., 247-9620. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 1018 Third St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600, mellowmushroom.com. F Bite Club.

2015 BOJ winner. Hoagies, gourmet pizzas: Mighty Meaty, vegetarian, Kosmic Karma. 35 tap beers. Nonstop HH. $ BW K TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 1534 Third St. N., 853-6817. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO.

MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573, mezzarestaurantandbar.com. F Near-the-ocean 20+ years. Casual bistro fare: gourmet wood-fired pizzas, nightly specials. Dine in, patio. $$$ FB K D M-Sa MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636, mojobbq.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Pulled pork, beef, chicken, Carolina-style, sides. $$ FB K TO L D Daily M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-2599, mshack burgers.com. 2015 BOJ winner. David and Matthew Medure flip burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes. Dine in or out – people-watch at Beaches Town Center. $$ BW L D Daily NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 1585 Third St. N., 458-1390. SEE BAYMEADOWS. POE’S TAVERN, 363 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7637, poes tavern.com. Gastropub, 50+ beers, gourmet burgers, handcut fries, fish tacos, Edgar’s Drunken Chili, daily fish sandwich special. $$ FB K L D Daily RAGTIME TAVERN & SEAFOOD GRILL, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F 30+ years, iconic seafood place. Blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily HH. $$ FB L D Daily SEACHASERS, 831 First St. N., 372-0444, seachasers.com.

New place; four areas: First Street Bar, Music Room, Beach Bar, Dining Room. Daily HH. In or on patio. $$ FB L D Daily SLIDERS Seafood Grille & Oyster Bar, 218 First St., NB, 246-0881, slidersseafoodgrille.com. Beach-casual spot.

Faves: Fresh fish tacos, gumbo. Key lime pie, ice cream sandwiches. $$ FB K L Sa/Su; D Nightly SNEAKERS SPORTS GRILLE, 111 Beach Blvd., 482-1000, sneakerssportsgrille.com. 2015 BOJ winner. 20+ tap beers, TVs. HH M-F. $ FB K L D Daily UGLY CUPCAKE MUFFINRY & Cafe, 115 Fifth Ave. S., 339-5214, theuglycupcakemuffinry.com. Sweet/ savory giant muffins, made from organic, locally sourced ingredients. Outside seating. $$ TO B L Daily V PIZZA, 528 First St. N., 853-6633, vpizza.com.

Traditional Neapolitana pizza, a rare class of artisan pizza from Naples – Italy, not Florida. $$ FB TO L D Daily

DOWNTOWN

AKEL’S DELICATESSSEN, 21 W. Church St., 665-7324, akelsdeli.com. 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 125, 446-3119. F New York-style deli. Fresh subs, specialty sandwiches, burgers, gyros, wraps, desserts, vegetarian items. $ TO B L M-F The CANDY APPLE CAFÉ & COCKTAILS, 400 N. Hogan St., 353-9717, thecandyapplecafe.com. Chef-driven cuisine, sandwiches, entrées, salads. HH Tu-F $$ FB K D Tu-Sa CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth St., 356-8282. F Chef Sam Hamidi serves Italian fare, 40+ years: veal, seafood, gourmet pizza. Homemade salad dressing. $ BW K L M-F; D M-Sa FIONN MacCOOL’S Irish Pub & Restaurant, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1547, fionnmacs.com. Casual dining, uptown Irish atmosphere; fish & chips, Guinness lamb stew, blackand-tan brownies. $$ FB K L D Daily FOLKFOOD, 219 N. Hogan St., 333-8392 Southern specialties, coastal cuisine. Fried catfish, Florida citrus kale salad, blackened mahi mahi tacos, meatloaf with curry sauce, desserts made in-house daily. $ BW TO L D M-F INDOCHINE, 21 E. Adams St., Ste. 200, 598-5303, indo chinejax.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Thai, Southeast Asian cuisine. Signature dishes are chicken Satay, soft shell crab; mango, sticky rice dessert. $$ FB TO L D M-F; D Tu-Sa OLIO MARKET, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com.

F From-scratch soups, sandwiches. Duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L M-F; D F

FOLIO DINING : BITE-SIZED

TASTE THIS

photo by Brentley Stead

GOLD

San Marco spot elevates LOCALLY SOURCED Southern cuisine THE DINING EXPERIENCE AT THE GASTROPUB That being said, I’ll be honest and tell you KITCHEN ON SAN MARCO is five-star all the that I’m not an oyster connoisseur by any way. Ask to be seated in a booth near the bar means, but the Southern spin Kitchen puts on so you can watch the mixologists at their craft.

Oyster Rockefeller made me want more. The We began our meal with a seasonal light Kitchen uses cornbread crumbs and creamy tomato Gazpacho ($6) garnished with lovely greens and tops that with smoked ham, similar sprouts and halved cherry tomatoes. Gazpacho to prosciutto. is a tough sell for me because if I want soup, Our entrée, the Short Rib ($21), is a I want it to be hot. I’ll always recommend beautifully presented piece of fork-tender Kitchen on San Marco’s tomato Gazpacho, meat simmered in red wine. The portion of though. Each sip brings to mind a summer short rib is stacked neatly on a bed of cheddar garden. The taste was heightened by a healthy grits, with just the right amount of gravy. The pinch of salt and a pour of good olive oil, cornmeal-fried okra is nestled within the giving the soup extra body stack, giving it a little extra and a velvety texture. body and a lot of extra KITCHEN ON SAN MARCO While you wait for the crunch. Tall, delicate pea 1402 San Marco Blvd., San Marco, main course, observe the sprouts shoot off overhead, 396-2344, kitchenonsanmarco.com activity in the open air finishing the plate and

kitchen — who doesn’t love watching masters before a good oven? Order a drink from the signature cocktail list or beer list, some of which can be found on chalkboard walls, divided into categories like Jax Drafts, Regional Drafts and Rotating Drafts.

From the Plate section of the menu — slightly smaller entrées — we chose the Southern Oyster Rockefeller ($15). One of my favorite things about oysters is their briny oceanic scent. It never fails to make me feel like I’m sitting with my toes in the sand.

giving it delightful height.

We chose the double-decker Pecan Blondie to top off the experience. It features a scoop of bourbon vanilla ice cream, and a generous drizzle of caramel. I can’t decide which ingredient is the star — the powerful bourbon-infused ice cream or the homemade salted caramel sauce. The two drip together, mingling delightfully into the Blondie, making it an imperative indulgence at Kitchen on San Marco.

Brentley Stead biteclub@folioweekly.com

JULY 20 - 26, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 31

DINING DIRECTORY PINT-SIZED

A NOBLE DREAM

BECOMES REALITY Northeast N th t FFlorida’s l id ’ newestt brewery wants to SHAKE UP the local beer world

PHIL MAPLE’S DREAM IS BECOMING A REALITY. It all began more than 10 years ago, when Maple and business partner Chef Brad Sueflohn began discussing opening a gastropub. Money issues quashed those early plans, but Maple continued to homebrew with his father as Sueflohn perfected his chef skills in Las Vegas. Four years ago, the idea for WICKED BARLEY began to take shape.

With the addition of partners Brett Baker and Tobin Turney, a brewery was born.

The philosophy at Wicked Barley, next to Goodby’s Creek Bridge on Baymeadows Road, is to shake the local beer scene up a bit. True to their motto — Naughty Ales for Noble Souls — their goal is to provide high-quality beer and upscale bar food in a setting that’s comfortable, inviting and in harmony with the Florida lifestyle.

The interior is done in weathered wood and finished concrete. Select your beer from the list on small chalkboards hanging over the bar. Outside, there’s plenty of seating along Goodby’s Creek — and even a boat dock. Plans are in the works for a kayak and canoe pull-out area near the dock.

In the back of the house, WICKED BARLEY behind huge BREWING COMPANY windows, the 4100 Baymeadows Rd., building has wickedbarley.com a 15-barrel The beer begins to flow brewhouse 11 a.m., Saturday, July 30. and row of fermenters that will brew beer, meads and ciders. And a state-of-the-art water purification system keeps the quality high. Maple plans to have at least 10 of Wicked Barley’s own beverages available within a month of licensing.

“We don’t play by the rules,” said Maple as we toured his shiny new brewery. “’Good enough’ gets poured down the drain. It just won’t … fly here.”

Throughout the operation, there’s an emphasis on product quality and a goal to use local providers as much as possible. For instance, the brewery’s ciders and meads are brewed with orange blossom honey sourced from a local apiary. In the kitchen, Chef Sueflohn is dedicated to using fresh, local ingredients as often as he can for house-made sausages, bacon, dressings and pretzels. He’s even going so far as to treat the water for pizza dough so it fi ts the profile of New York City’s water, thus, a more authentic NYC-style pie.

When the brewery opens on July 30, there’ll be 20 taps of craft beer, cider and mead. Most will likely be guest taps to be replaced with Wicked Barley brews as they are readied. Eventually, the number of taps will increase to 40. From those, Maple plans to pour eight core brews with a basis of heavy hop usage and an ever-changing selection of rotating specialties, like root beer mead and pineapple-raspberry Berliner Weiss.

Maple looks forward to taking his place in Northeast Florida’s craft beer community, certain that Wicked Barley will soon leap to the top of the heap beside the area’s bigger beer players. Phil Maple is proud to be part of a community that supports its own.

“The beautiful thing about craft beer,” Maple says, “is that it’s a unifier.”

Marc Wisdom marc@folioweekly.com

PINT-SIZED

32 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 20 - 26, 2016

URBAN GRIND Coffee Company, 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 102, 866-395-3954, 516-7799, urbangrind.coffee. Locally roasted whole bean brewed coffees, espressos, pastries, smoothies, bagels, cream cheeses. Chicken salad (best ever), tuna salad, sandwiches. Free Wi-Fi. $ B L M-F URBAN GRIND EXPRESS, 50 W. Laura, 516-7799. SEE ABOVE. ZODIAC Bar & Grill, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283, thezodiac barandgrill.com. 16+ years. Mediterranean cuisine, American fare, paninis, vegetarian dishes. Daily lunch buffet. Espressos, hookahs. HH W-Sa $ FB L M-F

FLEMING ISLAND

GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 1915 East-West Parkway, 541-0009. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ. SEE BEACHES. TAPS Bar & Grill, 1605 C.R. 220, Ste. 145, 278-9421, tapspublichouse.com. 50+ premium domestic, imported tap beers. Burgers, sandwiches, entrées. $$ FB K L D Daily WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteys fishcamp.com. F Real fish camp. Gator tail, freshwater catfish, daily specials, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar.

Come by boat, bike or car. $ FB K TO L Tu-Su; D Nightly

INTRACOASTAL WEST

COOL MOOSE CAFÉ, 2708 Park St., 381-4242, coolmoose cafe.net. New England-style café; full breakfast menu, classic sandwiches, wraps, soups, brunch all day Sunday.

Gourmet coffees. $$ BW R L D Tu-Su CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412, cornertaco.com.

Made-from-scratch “Mexclectic street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free, vegetarian options. $ BW L D Tu-Su DERBY on PARK, 1068 Park St., 379-3343. New American cuisine, upscale retro in historic landmark building. Shrimp & grits, lobster bites, 10-oz. gourmet burger. Dine inside or out. $$-$$$ FB B L D Tu-Su, R Sa/Su EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 2753 Park St., 384-9999. 2015 BOJ winner. 130+ import beers, 20 on tap. Sandwiches.

Outside dining at some EStreets. $ BW K L D Daily GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 2007 Park St., 3844474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. F 2015 BOJ winner.

Juice bar uses certified organic fruits, vegetables.

Artisanal cheeses, more than 300 craft, imported beers, 50 organic wines, and organic produce, meats, vitamins, herbs. Organic wraps, sides, sandwiches. $ BW TO B L D Daily

GRILL ME!

AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

SEE DOWNTOWN.

AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

ORANGE PARK

The HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959, hilltop-club. com. Southern-style fine dining. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts.

Extensive bourbon selection. $$$ FB D Tu-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 165, 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 15, 272-3553. 5733 Roosevelt Blvd., 446-9500. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove, 284-7789, larryssubs.com.

F All over the area, Larry’s piles ’em high, serves ’em fast; 33+ years. Hot & cold subs, soups. Some Larry’s serve breakfast. $ K TO B L D Daily METRO DINER, 2034 Kingsley Ave., 375-8548. F 2015 BOJ winner. Now dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. PASTA MARKET Italian Restaurant & Clam Bar, 1930 Kingsley Ave., 276-9551, pastamarketitalianrestaurant. com. Family-owned-and-operated. Gourmet pizzas, veal, chicken, mussels, shrimp, grouper. Spaghetti, lasagna, fettuccine, ziti, calzones, linguini, tortellini. $$ BW K D Nightly SNACSHACK, 179 College Dr., Ste. 19, 682-7622, snac shack.menu. F Bakery and café; bagels, muffins, breads, cookies, brownies, snack treats. $$ K BW TO B L D Daily The URBAN BEAN Coffeehouse Café, 2023 Park Ave., 541-4938, theurbanbeancoffeehouse.com. Coffee, espresso, sandwiches, flatbreads, apps. $$ K TO B L D Daily

PONTE VEDRA BEACH

AL’S Pizza, 635 A1A, 543-1494. F 2015 BOJ. SEE BEACHES. LARRY’S Subs, 830 A1A N., Ste. 6, 273-3993. F SEE O. PARK.

RIVERSIDE, 5 PTS, WESTSIDE

13 GYPSIES, 887 Stockton St., 389-0330, 13gypsies.com.

2015 BOJ winner. Authentic Mediterranean peasant cuisine updated for Americans; tapas, blackened octopus, risotto of the day, coconut mango curry chicken. $$ BW L D Tu-Sa AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., Ste. 201, 388-8384. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

BLACK SHEEP Restaurant, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, blacksheep5points.com. New American, Southern; local source ingredients. Rooftop bar. $$$ FB R Sa/Su; L D Daily BOLD BEAN Coffee Roasters, 869 Stockton St., Stes.

1/2, 855-1181, boldbeancoffee.com. 2015 BOJ winner.

Small-batch, artisanal approach to sourcing and roasting single-origin, direct-trade coffees. Signature blends, handcrafted syrups, espressos, craft beers. $ BW TO B L Daily BREW Five Points, 1024 Park St., 714-3402, brewfive points.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Local craft beer, espresso, coffee, wine. Rotating drafts, 75+ can craft beers; sodas, tea. Waffles, toasts, desserts, coffees. HH. $$ B L Su/M; B L D Tu-Sa

MAGGIE SULLIVAN

BORN IN: Vero Beach YEARS IN THE BIZ: 10 FAVE RESTAURANT (besides mine): Buddha Thai Bistro, Jax Beach FAVE CUISINE STYLE: Everything FAVE INGREDIENTS: Garlic, rosemary, avocado IDEAL MEAL: Medium-rare steak, potatoes and steamed veggies WON'T CROSS MY LIPS: Fast food INSIDER'S SECRET: Take it all with a heavy dash of salt.

CELEBS (@ my place): Mike Farrell (M*A*S*H) TASTE TREAT: Gluten-free sweetness anything

MANDARIN, NW ST. JOHNS

V PIZZA, 12601 San Jose Blvd., 647-9424. SEE SAN MARCO.

winner. SEE DOWNTOWN.

610 S. Third St., Jax Beach

AKEL’S DELI, 12926 Granbay Pkwy. W., 880-2008. F

SEE FLEMING ISLAND.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

BASIL Thai & Sushi, 1004 Hendricks Ave., 674-0190, basilthaijax.com. F Authentic Pad Thai, curry, tempura, vegetarian, seafood, stir-fry, specials. HH. $$ FB L D M-Sa BISTRO AIX, 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox. com. F Mediterranean/French inspired; steak frites, oak-fired pizza, raw bar, seasonal selections. HH M-F $$$ FB L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 1704 San Marco, 398-9500.

2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. $ BW K L D Daily FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusionsushijax.com. F Upscale sushi spot serves fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu. $$ K L D Daily INDOCHINE, 1974 San Marco Blvd., 503-7013. 2015 BOJ

THE HASH HOUSE

LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980. F SEE ORANGE PARK. ORANGE TREE Hot Dogs, 3500 Beach, Ste. 43, 551-3661, orangetreehotdogs.com. Hot dogs, personal size pizzas since ’68. Hershey’s ice cream, milkshakes. $ K TO L D Daily SID & LINDA’S SEAFOOD MARKET & Restaurant, 12220 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 109, 503-8276. Pick your own whole fresh fish, have it cleaned, filleted, cooked to order. Dine in, take out. Housemade sauces. $$ K TO L D Daily

ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199.

F 20+ years. Dolmades (stuffed grape leaves), baby shoes (stuffed eggplant). Greek beers. $$ BW L D M-F; D Sa FIRST COAST Deli & Grill, 6082 St. Augustine Rd., 733-7477.

Pancakes, bacon, sandwiches, burgers, wings. $ K TO B L Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 11362 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 3, 674-2945. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F 2015 BOJ winner. Now dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. F Organic soups, baked items, sandwiches, prepared foods. Juice, smoothie,coffee bar. All-natural, organic beers, wines.

Indoor, outdoor dining. $ BW TO K B L D Daily TAPS Bar & Grill, 2220 C.R. 210 W., Ste. 314, 819-1554.

METRO DINER, 1000 S. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 758-3323.

F 2015 BOJ winner. Now dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. ONE TWENTY THREE Burger House, 123 King St., 687-2790.

From Carmelo’s owners. Premium burgers, made with beef from NYC butcher Schweid & Sons. Wood-fired pizzas, ice cream bar, Old World milkshakes. $$ BW K TO L D Daily

HAWKERS Asian Street Fare, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic dishes from mobile stalls. $ BW TO L D Daily HOBNOB, 220 Riverside Ave., Ste. 110, 513-4272, hobnobwithus.com. New place serves cuisine driven by global inspirations, local intentions – ahi poke tuna, jumbo lump crab tacos. $$ FB TO L D Brunch Daily IL DESCO, 2665 Park St., 290-6711, ildescojax.com.

Modern, authentic Italian cuisine. Handcrafted cocktails. $$-$$$ FB TO K L D Daily JOHNNY’S DELI & GRILLE, 474 Riverside Ave., 356-8055.

F Casual; made-to-order sandwiches, wraps, salads, breakfast. $ TO B L M-Sa KNEAD BAKESHOP, 1173 Edgewood Ave. S., 634-7617.

Locally-owned, family-run shop specializing in made-fromscratch creations – classic pastries, artisan breads, savory pies, specialty sandwiches, soups. $ TO B L Tue.-Sun. LARRY’S Subs, 1509 Margaret, 674-2794. 7895 Normandy, 781-7600. 8102 Blanding, 779-1933. F SEE ORANGE PARK. LITTLE JOE’S CAFÉ by Akel, 245 Riverside Ave., Ste. 195, 791-3336. Riverview café serves soups, salads, signature salad dressings. $ TO B L M-F METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., 999-4600. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO.

MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442.

F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. MOSSFIRE GRILL, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434, mossfire.com. F Southwestern fish tacos, chicken enchiladas. HH M-Sa upstairs, all day Su $$ FB K L D Daily M SHACK, 1012 Margaret St., 423-1283. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

PATTAYA Thai Grille, 1526 King, 503-4060. SEE BAYMEADOWS. RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969. 2015 BOJ winner.

Bar food. $ D SBRAGA & Company, 220 Riverside Ave., Ste. 114, 746-0909, sbragadining.com. Chef Kevin Sbraga has a contemporary culinary approach to local influences. Go-to dishes: hog & hominy, fish fry, carrot ceviche. $$-$$$ FB TO L D Daily SOUTHERN ROOTS Filling Station, 1275 King St., 513-4726, southernrootsjax.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Healthy, light vegan fare; local, organic ingredients. Specials, on bread, local greens or rice, change daily. Coffees, teas. $ Tu-Su SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside, Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushi cafejax.com. F Monster, Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll.

Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. $$ BW L D Daily TIMOTI’S Seafood Shak, 1043 Park, 374-8892. SEE AMELIA.

ST. AUGUSTINE

AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F 2015 BOJ

winner. SEE BEACHES.

The FLORIDIAN, 72 Spanish St., 829-0655, thefloridian staug.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Updated Southern fare.

Vegetarian, gluten-free. Fried green tomato bruschetta; grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D W-M GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F Local mainstay 25+ years. Varied menu changes twice daily. Signature dish: Gypsy chicken.

Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. $$ FB R Su; L D Daily MARDI GRAS Sports Bar, 123 San Marco Ave., 347-3288, mardibar.com. Wings, nachos, shrimp, chicken, Phillys, sliders, soft pretzels. $$ FB TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

KITCHEN on San Marco, 1402 San Marco, 396-2344, kitchenonsanmarco.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Local, national craft beers, specialty cocktails. A seasonal menu, with fresh, locally sourced ingredients. $$ FB R Su; L D Daily METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metro diner.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Original upscale diner.

Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, soups. This Metro serves dinner nightly. $$ B R L Daily PIZZA PALACE, 1959 San Marco Blvd., 399-8815, pizza palacejax.com. F Family-owned-&-operated; spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, ravioli, lasagna. Dine outside. HH. $$ BW K TO L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco Blvd., 398-3005, tavernasan marco.com. Chef Sam Efron’s authentic Italian; local produce, meats, tapas, wod-fired pizza. Craft beers & cocktails. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily V PIZZA, 1406 Hendricks Ave., 527-1511, vpizza.com.

True Neapolitana pizzas with the freshest ingredients. They claim a 55-second cook time – put them to the test. $$ FB L D Daily

SOUTHSIDE, TINSELTOWN

ALHAMBRA THEATRE & DINING, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. USA’s longest-running dinner theater; Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus.

Reservations. $$ FB D Tu-Su The CHATTY CRAB, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138C, 888-0639, chattycrab.com. Chef Dana Pollard’s raw oysters, Nawlins-style low country boil, po’ boys, 50¢ wing specials. $$ FB K TO L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717.

2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE.

GREEK STREET CAFÉ, 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Ste. 106, 503-0620, greekstreetcafe.com. Fresh, authentic, modern fare; Greek owners. Gyros, spanakopita, dolmades, falafel, salads, Greek nachos. $$ BW K TO L D M-Sa LARRY’S Subs, 3611 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 641-6499.

4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F SEE ORANGE PARK. MARIANAS GRINDS, 11380 Beach Blvd., Ste. 10, 206-612-6596. Pacific Islander fare, emphasizing chamorro culture. Soups, stews, fitada, beef oxtail, katden pika; spicy empanadas, lumpia, chicken relaguen, BBQstyle ribs, chicken. $$ TO B L D Tu-Su MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

MOXIE KITCHEN + Cocktails, 4972 Big Island Dr., 998-9744, moxiefl.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Chef Tom Gray’s venue has innovative contemporary American cuisine – seafood, steaks, pork, burgers, sides, desserts – using locally sourced ingredients when possible. $$$ FB K L M-F; D Nightly M SHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Br. Dr., 900-7730, ovinte.com.

2015 BOJ winner. European-style; Italy, Spain, Mediter-

ranean flavor. Small plates, entrée-size portions, charcuterie menu. 240-bottle/wines, 75/glass; craft spirits. $$ FB R, Su; D Nightly RITA’S DELI, 9446 Philips Hwy., 806-3923. Sandwiches of Boar’s Head meats, cheeses. $$ BW TO L D M-Sa TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Ct., 854-0426, taverna yamas.com. F Bite Club. Char-broiled kabobs, seafood, wines, desserts. Daily HH. Bellydancing. $$ FB K TO L D Daily TOMMY’S Brick Oven Pizza, 4160 Southside Blvd., Ste. 2, 565-1999, tbopizza.com. NY-style thin crust, brick-

DINING DIRECTORY oven-cooked pizzas – gluten-free. Calzones, sandwiches, Thumann’s no-MSG meats, Grande cheeses. Boylan’s soda.

Curbside pickup. $$ BW K TO L D M-Sa TOSSGREEN, 4375 Southside, Ste. 12, 619-4356. 4668 Town Crossing, Ste. 105, 686-0234. Custom burrito bowls; fresh fruit, veggies, 100% natural chicken, sirloin, shrimp, tofu, cheese, dressing, salsa, frozen yogurt. $$ K L D Daily

holamexicanrestaurant.com. F Authentic fajitas, burritos, specials, enchiladas. HH; sangria. BW K TO L D M-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 12001 Lem Turner Rd., 764-9999.

SEE ORANGE PARK.

MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 15170 Max Leggett Pkwy., 757-8843. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MOLLY BROWN’S Pub & Grill, 2467 Faye Rd., 683-5044, mollybrownspubandgrill.com. F Traditional American fare, brunch, burgers, diner fare, hot dogs, sandwiches, seafood, Southern, vegetarian dishes. $$ FB TO L D Daily

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

HOLA Mexican Restaurant, 1001 N. Main St., 356-3100,

CHEFFED-UP

CURING THE SUMMER

PRODUCE BLUES Jazzing up GARDENVARIETY zucchini IT’S SUMMERTIME AND THE VARIETIES of produce at the farmers markets are beginning to dwindle. When I first moved to God’s Country 12 years ago, I had no clue what the summer sun could do to plants. Back then, I was still a chef at The Ritz-Carlton, rarely leaving the cozy confines of my kitchen.

I was under the false impression that local farmers could grow any kind of produce year ’round because of the subtropical climate. After all, doesn’t most produce in the supermarket wear a grownin-Florida sticker?

Boy, was I sheltered — a true rube to the realities of how harsh the solar heat and light are on beautiful little garden plots.

I learned the harsh truth soon enough.

I’ll never forget the grim sight of shriveledup tomato plants, brown pepper plants, dead parsley, and rotted, under-developed melons. What had been a promising bounty one week turned into a picture of postapocalyptic devastation the next.

Since then, I’ve learned to plant early, have low expectations, and accept the reality that I’m a chef, not a farmer. Mercifully, I did get a fairly nice early crop of tomatoes and peppers this year, and most of my herbs are hanging in there.

The challenge with farmers markets is to utilize the limited varieties of produce in new and exciting ways — yes, Chef It Up! How many more times can you force-feed yourself sautéed zucchini? I’ll describe a typical shoemaker version: unevenly cooked, full of mushy, slimy seedpods, poorly chopped semi-burned garlic, and under-seasoned. Sickening!

Here’s a better way: Remove the seeds.

You’ll be amazed how much easier it is to cook, how much better it tastes and how much better the resulting texture is.

Next, think about different cooking techniques. Try grilling thick zucchini slices on skewers with cherry tomatoes, braising them with other vegetables ratatouille-style or roasting them with herbs and mozzarella as a Tian. Cook them one of my favorite ways — pan-fried! The possibilities are truly endless and inspiring. I ran across a version using zucchini for a dessert, a dish called

Zucchini Cobbler, in the recipe section of Fernandina Beach Market Place’s website.

A special thanks to Elizabeth and Joe Lee, the folks responsible for our beautiful Fernandina Beach farmers market. Here’s another great recipe to Chef-up zucchini.

CHEFFED-UP

CHEF BILL’S ZUCCHINI BACON FRITTERS

Ingredients: • 1-1/2 cups all-purpose flour • 1/2 tsp. baking powder • 1/8 tsp. cayenne • 4 medium zucchini, grated, • without seeds • 1/2 jalapeño, seeded and minced • 2 tbsp. chives, sliced • 1 egg, lightly beaten • 3/4 cup milk • 6 slices cooked bacon, diced • Canola oil as needed Directions: 1. Whisk together flour, baking powder, 1. cayenne, 1/2 tsp. salt, and 1/8 tsp.

1. pepper in a bowl.

2. In another bowl, stir together zucchini, 1. jalapeño, chives, and a pinch of salt.

1. Add the egg, milk, and bacon to 1. zucchini mixture and toss to coat 1. the zucchini.

3. Stir in flour mixture until incorporated.

4. In a large sauce pan, heat canola oil 1. to 325°F 5. Fry small spoonfuls of battered 1. zucchini in batches of about 10, 1. turning occasionally, until golden1. brown all over, 3 to 4 minutes per 1. batch. Transfer to a paper-towel-lined 1. baking sheet and keep warm in oven.

1. Return oil to 350°F between batches.

Until we cook again,

Chef Bill cheffedup@folioweekly.com ____________________________________ Contact Chef Bill Thompson, owner of Amelia Island Culinary Academy in Historic Fernandina Beach, with your recipes or questions at cheffedup@folioweekly.com, for inspiration to get you Cheffed Up! JULY 20 - 26, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 33

PETS LOOKIN’ FOR LOVE FOLIO

W E E K LY

FOLIO LIVING

PET

LOVERS’

GUIDE

Davi becomes a BARK RANGER

DEAR DAVI

HI-YO SILVER,

AWAY! Dear Davi, How do I earn a Bark Ranger Badge?

Maury the Mastiff

Make sure your shots and heartworm preventive treatments are up-to-date. A study was done in the park; it showed 33 percent of the mosquitoes were vectors — a species that may carry the heartworm virus.

Maury, Earning your Bark Ranger Badge is a fun way to learn about park pet policy while THE FORT ITSELF IS A SHORT WALK THROUGH hiking safely with your human. the woods from the visitor center. The trail You can become a Bark Ranger by is paved with ancient shells and Spanish completing the program at any National moss — watch out for chiggers!

Park, particularly during the National Parks’ Halfway down the trail, I saw a board centennial celebration in with pictures of dogs — August. Just follow these official Bark Rangers! Soon, FORT CAROLINE Rules of B.A.R.K: my picture will be among NATIONAL MEMORIAL & these cool canines.

Bag your poop TIMUCUAN ECOLOGICAL I reach the fort’s open Always wear a leash & HISTORIC PRESERVE gate. Small moats couldn’t Respect wildlife 12713 Ft. Caroline Rd., protect the fort from Know where you’re Arlington, open 9 a.m.-4:45 invaders, or from my allowed to go p.m. daily. Free admission to sniffing snout. Fun Fact: Got it? Good. both sites.

Fort Caroline marks the I scored my badge at general location of the first Fort Caroline National French settlement in North America. The Memorial, on the banks of the St. Johns exact location isn’t known, which is why the River. Before I put my paws on the path, I park has been designated as a memorial, not had some questions for the park ranger: a historic site.

I took time to explore grassy berms and HOW LONG SHOULD MY LEASH BE? We 16th-century canons before starting the trail. recommend using a six-foot leash — In a wag of my tail, I was walking among oaks not retractable — to keep you safe and and palmettos where Timucua Indians once under control. walked. The 1.3-mile loop winds through I HEAR TIMUCUAN VISITOR CENTER HAS A hilly woods, so be prepared for a steep climb, FASCINATING COLLECTION OF ARTIFACTS. CAN and watch out for tree roots sticking out I GO INSIDE THE BUILDING? Sorry, but only underpaw. I tried to alert folks about the service dogs are allowed in the buildings.

Coontie palm — it’s poisonous — but they WHERE CAN MY HUMAN THROW AWAY MY MESS? were too busy reading signposts about Indian Poop bags are available near the trail life to heed my warning. Hey, I tried. entrance. There are trashcans throughout In a flash, I was back in the parking the park, so be sure your human doesn’t just lot and ready for home. Getting my Bark drop the bag on the ground.

Ranger Badge was a real treat and makes HOW CAN I DRINK WATER ON THE TRAILS? There Fort Caroline National Memorial a wagare no water stops on the trail, so you’ll worthy adventure! need to bring a bottle. You can refill it at Davi the water fountain in the breezeway by the mail@folioweekly.com Visitor Center. ____________________________________ HOW CAN I PROTECT MYSELF FROM THINGS THAT WANT TO BITE ME? There can be wild animals

within the park, and there are mosquitoes.

PET TIP: NAILIN’ IT

34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 20 - 26, 2016

Davi the dachshund doesn’t do much horseback riding, but he is an enthusiastic Bark Ranger.

YEAH, YEAH, WE KNOW THAT CUTTING YOUR DOG’S NAILS IS THE CHORE EQUIVALENT OF CLEANING THE GUNK OUT OF THE BATHTUB DRAIN. Like, seriously, WTF is coming off your nasty ass, dude? Red slime? We can’t even.

Anyway, the thing about trimming your dog’s nails is that not doing so could allow the nails to grow through their paws and out again and through their paws and out again and so on. Sound agonizing? Possibly crippling? Yeah, well, it is. So get a second set of kindly restraining hands to help or take your dog to the vet, PetSmart or any number of other places to get clipped (their nails, that is). And learn about the dew claw. ’Nuff said.

PET EVENTS KATZ 4 KEEPS ADOPTION EVENT • Adoptions are held 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Saturday, July 23 and 30 and Sunday, July 24 and 31 at 935B A1A N., Ponte Vedra, 834-3223, katz4keeps.org. Adoptions are every weekend in July, August and September.

ADOPTABLES

.

SCOUT

PIKACHU? NO … PIKAME! • If you’re slightly obsessed with the latest craze Pokémon Go, then I’m the dog for you. I could walk and hunt those little monsters for hours. I will even go swimming in the ocean to fetch them! If you gotta catch ’em all, and you don’t want to do it alone, come and meet me at JHS, at 8464 Beach Blvd. and open seven days a week. More details at jaxhumane.org.

FEEDINGS & TOURS • Catty Shack holds night feedings open to the public most Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays, and daytime tours most Thursdays at 1860 Starratt Rd., Northside, 7573603, cattyshack.org. For details, times and fees, check the website.

PET THERAPY CLASS • The class, covering handling and command skills, is held 9-10 a.m.

Aug. 1 at Nassau Humane Society, 176 Airport Rd., Fernandina, $90, 352-7631, dogtrainerpamela.com.

ADOPTABLES

BUDDY

POKÉMON GO? POKÉMON NO! • If you’re disgusted by the herds of people who want to stare at their screens and chase invisible creatures all over town, something tells me we’d get along just fine. I want nothing to do with catching anything at all. Leave that nonsense to the dogs. How about you and I stay inside for a nice nap and some snacks instead?

Sound good? Come adopt me from JHS! Learn more about Buddy and all the JHS adoptables at jaxhumane.org.

VACCINATION CLINICS • VetCo offers lower-cost vaccination services at PetCo stores in the area.

Upcoming events are held Sunday, July 24; 2-3 p.m. at 11111 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 260-3225; and 4:30-5:30 p.m. at 1514 C.R. 220, Fleming Island, 278-1980; vetcoclinics.com. ______________________________________ To list a pet event, send event name, time, date, location (complete street address and city), admission price, contact number/website to print, to mdryden@folioweekly.com – at least two weeks before the event.

JULY 20 - 26, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35

FREEWILL ASTROLOGY

KUROSAWA, YEAR 2036, THE DEVIL, GOOFBALLS & BACCHANALS ARIES (March 21-April 19): You now have more luxuriant access to divine luck than you’ve had in a long time. For the foreseeable future, you may be able to induce semi-miraculous twists of fate that might usually be beyond your capacities. A caveat: The good fortune swirling in your vicinity may be odd, irregular or hardto-understand. To harvest it, you’ll have to expand your ideas about what good fortune is. It may bestow powers you didn’t even realize you could have. What if you temporarily have an acute talent for gravitating toward situations where smart love is in full play?

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): A directory published by the U.S. Department of Labor says that my gig as an astrologer shares a category with jugglers, rodeo clowns, acrobats, carnival barkers, and stuntpersons. Am I, therefore, just a charming buffoon? An amusing goofball who provides diversion from life’s serious matters? I’m fine with that. I may prefer to see me as a sly oracle inflamed with holy madness, but the service I provide is probably more effective if my ego doesn’t get the specific glory it yearns for. That way, I resemble the Taurus tribe in the next four weeks. Is it OK if you achieve success without getting all the credit you think you deserve?

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Over the course of a 57-year career, Japanese movie director Akira Kurosawa won 78 major awards for his work, including a Lifetime Achievement Award from the Oscars. Among the filmmakers who’ve cited him as an inspirational influence are heavyweights like Ingmar Bergman, Werner Herzog, Bernardo Bertolucci, Robert Altman, Francis Ford Coppola, and Martin Scorsese.

But Kurosawa wasn’t too haughty to create lighter fare. At age 86, he departed from epic dramas to make a 30-second commercial for a yogurt drink. Did that compromise his artistic integrity? No. Even a genius can’t create non-stop masterpieces. Be inspired by Kurosawa. In the weeks ahead, give your best to even the most modest projects.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Capricorns may be the hardest workers of the zodiac, and Tauruses the most dogged. In the next few weeks, I suspect Cancerians will be the smartest workers. You will efficiently surmise the precise nature of tasks at hand, and do what’s necessary to accomplish them. No false starts, reliance on iffy data or slapdash trial-and-error experiments. You’ll have a light touch as you find innovative short cuts to produce better results than possible with the grind-itout approach.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): My friend’s 12-yearold daughter Brianna got a “B” on her summer school math test. She might have earned an “A” if it weren’t for a problem her teacher had with some of her work. “You got the right answer by making two mistakes that happened to cancel each other out,” he wrote on her paper next to question seven. You’ll soon have a similar experience. The difference between you and Brianna? I’m giving you an “A.” All that matters is that you succeed. I don’t care if your strategy is a bit funky.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Ever fantasized about being a different gender, race or astrological sign? Do you suspect it might be fun and liberating to completely change your wardrobe, hairstyle or body language? The weeks ahead are a great time to experiment with variables, and any others that would enable you to play with identity and mutate your self-image. You have a cosmic exemption from imitating what you’ve done. In this spirit, feel free to read other signs’ horoscopes, and act on the one you like best. Your word of power is “shapeshifter.”

36 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 20 - 26, 2016

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The Golden Goose Award is given annually to “scientists whose work may have been considered silly, odd, or obscure when first conducted,” but which ultimately produced dramatic advances. Entomologists Raymond Bushland and Edward Knipling were this year’s winners.

More than 60 years ago, they started tinkering with the sex life of the screwworm fly in an effort to stop the pest from killing livestock and wildlife throughout the American South. At first, their ideas were ridiculed. In time, they were lauded for pioneering breakthroughs.

You’ll be blessed with your own vindication in the next few weeks. Maybe not as monumental as Bushland’s and Knipling’s, but deeply meaningful for you.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): I hope it doesn’t sound too paradoxical when I urge you to intensify your commitment to relaxation. I’ll love it, and more important, your guardian angel will love it, if you become a fierce devotee of slowing down and chilling out. Get looser, cozier and more spacious, damn it! Snuggle. Cut back on overthinking and trying too hard. Vow to become a high master of the mystic art of I-don’t-give-a-f*ck. It’s your sacred duty to steal more slack from the soul-anesthetizing grind.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I often travel back through time from the year 2036 to be here with you. It’s tough to be away from the thrilling transformations underway there.

But it’s in a good cause. The bedraggled era you live in needs frequent doses of vigorous optimism so widespread in 2036, and I disseminate it. Why am I saying this? I suspect you have an extra talent for gazing into the unknown and exploring undiscovered possibilities. You also have an unprecedented power to set definite intentions about the future life you want to live. Who will you be five years from today? Ten? Twenty? Be brave, visionary, precise.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Here’s a strategy you could pursue: Spank the Devil with a feather duster as you coax him to promise he’ll never again trick you with a bogus temptation. I don’t think that will work, though. It may have minor shock value, in which case the Devil might leave you in peace for a short time. Instead: Work at raising your discernment so high, you can quickly identify, in the future, which temptations will deliver you unto evil confusion, and which will feed and hone your most noble desires.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): After a cool, dry period, you soon slip into a hot, wet phase. The reasonable explanations that generated so much apathy are about to be turned inside-out. The seemingly good excuses that provided cover for your timidity will be exposed as impractical lies. Ready for passion to roar back into fashion? What will you do when suppressed yearnings erupt and chemicals of love rampage through your soft, warm animal body? I hereby warn you of an oncoming surge of weird delight — and sing “Hallelujah!” for the revelatory fun it’ll bring.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I’m composing your horoscope on my iPhone after midnight on a bus crammed with sweaty revelers.

We’re being taken back to civilization from a rural hideaway where we spent the last 12 hours at a raging party. I still feel ecstatic from the recent bacchanal, but the ride’s uncomfortable. I’m pinned against a window by a sleepy, drunken dude not in full control of his body.

Do I allow my predicament to interfere with my holy meditation on your destiny? I don’t — just as I trust you’ll keep stoking your own inspirational fires in the face of comparable irritations. You’ve been on a hot streak. Don’t let anything cool it down!

Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

NEWS OF THE WEIRD FASHION CHALLENGES

Beautician Sarah Bryan, 28, of Wakefield, England, who gained worldwide notoriety last year when she introduced a wearable dress made of 3,000 Skittles, returned this summer with a wearable skirt and bra made of donated human hair. She admits having had to work in an eye mask, breathing mask and thick gloves, out of fear of donors’ hygiene habits. More conventionally, designer Van Tran of Brooklyn, New York, won the 12th annual (wearable) Toilet Paper Wedding Dress design contest in New York City in June, with a $10,000 prize from sponsors Charmin and Ripley’s Believe It or Not.

LIFE EXPERIENCE? SHE HIT A HUMAN!

Attorney Lee Pearlman finally earned an acquittal in June (after two hung-jury trials) for his client Danielle Goeller — one of a seemingly increasing number of drivers who hit pedestrians but claim they were unaware of anybody being hit. Goeller, 28, a trauma-room nurse with no intoxicants in her system, had struck a 60-year-old man on a busy, heavily lighted Tampa street at 11:45 p.m., cracking her windshield — but drove on without stopping. “What does she think she hit?” asked the prosecutor. “A deer? A bear?” Responded Pearlman, “She’s a scared girl in the middle of the night who doesn’t have the life experience other people do.”

DOGGIE DO NOT

Picturesque Torrelodones, Spain (pop.

22,000), has 6,000 pet dogs and apparently few conscientious dog owners, which town leaders say accounts for the nearly half-ton of “litter” that accumulates daily. The town’s latest bright idea: Install a 7-foot-high, 10-by-10-foot brown, inflated plastic “swirly” in the center of town as a reminder to residents to pick up after their dogs. Spain’s The Local reported in June that other towns have begun to tackle the problem too, with DNA testing of dogs and streetscrubbing punishment for guilty owners.

TALK IT OUT

British student Joshua Browder, 19, created an easy-to-use computer app to help drivers fight parking tickets they believe to be unjust — and now reports users have won 160,000 cases (out

of 250,000), all in London and New York City, by following his question-and-answer “chat” interface at DoNotPay.co.uk. Browder said he was motivated to develop the app (which, as of now, is still free) after he got about 30 tickets he says he did not deserve.

JUST ROPE, THROW & BRAND ’EM

A bicycle thief was stopped on June 10 when the bike’s owner and several other people chased him from the Walmart parking lot in Eagle Point, Oregon, drawing the attention of a passing horseback rider (Robert Borba), who joined the chase. Moments later (according to a report in Portland’s The Oregonian), he lassoed the man and restrained him until police arrived.

TO THE BATBOAT, ROBIN!

A surfer on a Sussex beach south of London got into trouble on June 26 and was unable to float back to land — until he was rescued by two Good Samaritans in kayaks. The saviors happened to be dressed as Batman and Robin for participation in the Shoreham Beach Superhero Paddle.

CHECK YOURSELF

Not only are almost all federal employees above average, they are nearly all superior workers, according to a June Government Accountability Office review of agencies’ personnelrating results. (Yes, the review included the departments of Veterans Affairs and Homeland Security.) Most agencies use a 1 (“unacceptable”) through 5 (“outstanding”) rating system, and GAO found that 99 percent were rated either 5 or 4 (“exceeds ‘fully acceptable’”).

EVERYTHING HAS A PRICE

Good Samaritan Derrick Deanda is facing a $143 bill from paramedics in Elk Grove, California, after he, passing a car crash, jumped out to pull out a man and his three children who were trapped in the wreckage.

A short time later, paramedics arrived and, noticing Deanda had a cut on his arm (from breaking the car’s window to free the family), bandaged him. Elk Grove has a policy charging “all patients” at a first-responder site $143 for the “rescue.”

Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net

No left or right swipe here – you can actually use REAL WORDS to find a REAL LOVE! Folio Weekly Magazine can help you connect with that surfer hunk you almost talked to at the Young Vegan Professionals meet-up, or that gum-crackin’ goddess at Target who “accidentally” dropped a jasmine-scented kazoo in your cart.

Go to folioweekly.com/i-saw-u.html, fill out the FREE form correctly by 5 p.m. Friday (for the next Wednesday’s FWM) – next stop: Bliss!

(40 words or fewer, dammit)

DO YOU SEEK UNIQUE? You: Beautiful brunette, Walmart sugar aisle, beautiful arm ink work; said you got it in Riverside.

Me: Dark chocolate gentleman, captivated by smile, breathless looking into beautiful eyes. Too shy to get number. Meet for lunch? When: July 16. Where: Walmart Avenues. #1622-0720 HANDSOME, KIND GENTLEMAN ISU Saturday about 1 a.m. You: Extremely handsome, cool hat, T-shirt, jeans; forgot wallet; complimented my white dress. Me: Long blond hair, green eyes, too shy to ask name or if unattached.

Love to meet formally! When: July 17. Where: Walmart San Jose. #1621-0720 WE ARE READY FOR U You: Handsome man following, watching me, saying hi, calling, hanging up before u speak. Me: Want to hear your heart. My dog and condo await. Don’t be afraid. Everything will be OK. We love you. When: 2012. Where: Neighborhood. #1620-0720 AVONDALE ANGEL Me: Down on my luck, no place to go. You: Beautiful person who kept me from sleeping on the street.

Thank you for your generosity for someone you didn’t even know! You’ll never ever be forgotten!

When: June 16. Where: Avondale shops. #1619-0706 COOPER’S HAWK NICE SMILE WAITER You weren’t our waiter last Thursday 6/16; served us before. Name starts with G. Cute, dark blond hair, warm personality. Me: Brunette, curly hair, navy blue dress. You noticed us in booth. A drink, conversation? Contact. When: June 16. Where: Cooper’s Hawk Winery Towncenter. #1618-0622 CORGI GIRL Your smile’s radiant. How you synchronize those long legs in immense contrast with your pups is marvelous. I’m grateful, mostly handsome, longing to please. Love to join you and poochie for evening stroll along the river. XOXO. When: June 10. Where: Riverside. #1617-0622 TRADE PORSCHE FOR BEACH CRUISER? Drawn to your fit physique, adored biceps as you chilled with friend! You complimented my Porsche.

Offered to trade it for your cruiser. Didn’t ask for number. WOD together on next bring-a-friend day?!

When: 4 p.m. June 5. Where: Zeta Brewing bicycle stand. #1616-0622 VYSTAR LOAN OFFICER You: Beautiful blue-eyed, curly blond hair, rockin’ all black outfit, accent colored shirt. Me: Trying to get a loan. Made conversation to keep process going. Second Wednesday in June. Didn’t get loan; might’ve found so much more! When: June 8.

Where: Vystar. #1615-0622 YOU’RE IN MY THOUGHTS There’s still not a day I don’t think of you. Since the first time ISU while sitting in that car, I can’t shake thoughts of you. Live long. Love hard. I will. When: Feb. 2, 2016. Where: Neighborhood. #1614-0622 JOIN YOUR SWIM TEAM Me: Attractive in two-piece bathing suit. You: Swimming; American flag tat on arm, making me hot as you chilled in the pool. Really want to skinny dip with you. ;) When: June 3. Where: Greentree Place Apts. Pool. #1613-0622

FRIDAY BIKE-TO-WORK DAY You: Blue jeans, black tank top, red Motobecane bicycle, great smile.

Didn’t get a chance to get your name. Me: Doing the bike thing. Are you up for a ride? When: May 20.

Where: Hemming Plaza. #1612-0608 HANDSOME EDUCATED HARLEY RIDER We instantly hit it off talking. I tried to quickly give you my number. I was on a blind date that was NOT meant to be. I’d like to have a chance to continue our conversation. When: May 22. Where: River City Brewing Co. #1611-0608 DANCIN’ IN THE STREETS CUTIE You: Short, big white hat, gorgeous eyes, with friend outside bookstore. Me: Sunglasses, tan, wanted to flirt. We locked eyes. I got brave, you were gone – kicking myself since. Won’t hesitate again. Share a dance? When: May 21. Where: Atlantic Beach Dancin’ Festival. #1610-0525 BIRDIES BLUE-EYED BRUNETTE Beautiful day. You: Porch sitting with friends. Me: Walking dog down strip. We caught eyes. Couldn’t tell if you knew me or wanted to; we couldn’t look away. Hope next time it’s more than an awkward stare. When: May 15. Where: Birdies. #1609-0525 COMEDY ZONE Goldberg lookalike, Comedy Zone May 27, admiring each other while waiting with friends. Me: Hot brunette in black tank top and jeans.

When: May 27. Where: Comedy Zone. #1608-0525 DRIVE-THRU WINDOW PRINCESS Porsche, Prius; whatever I drive; at drive-thru window, you drive me crazy! Curious: Are pretty smile, friendly remarks more than sales-driven? Clarify over coffee? You get my name right. Will heed your advice: Come by more often. When: May 9. Where: St. Johns Town Ctr. fast-food drive-thru. #1607-0525 RED SCOOTER MISFIT Little red scooter. You: Dark, mysterious, flying through Five Points on a little red Honda Spree. Me: Black dress, circle shades.

Have my babies. <3. When: Every day. Where: Five Points. #1606-0518 PASSED YOU AT LUNCH Me: Going to lunch, bright teal dress shirt, said hello. You: Walking other way; very pretty young lady, flowery top, blonde hair, said howdy. Exchanged glances; looked back, you were gone. I should have said something. When: May 4.

Where: Devry University Concourse Café. #1605-0511 BEAUTIFUL WEST VIRGINIAN You: Tan BBW, three mixed kids, WVU tank top, American flag tattoo on back. Me: Overall cutoffs, American flag tattoo on neck, Gator T-shirt. You offered snuff. Nervous, I refused. Like to dip in you in my single-wide. When: April 8. Where: Collins Road Trailer Park. #1604-0413 MY TRAILER PARK QUEEN Me: Long hair, tats, white shirt, sippin’ a Bud Lite with my pops. You: Prego, kid on each hip, also drinking a Bud Lite, puffin’ a Winston. Let’s get drunk; lemme put another one in the oven. When: April 3. Where: Ramona Flea Market Beer Garden. #1603-0406 ACCIDENTALLY PUBLIC MAKEOUT You: Adorably nerdy guy, incredible hands. Me: Petite (younger) fashionista, completely enchanted. Made-out like teenagers in Starbucks parking lot before realizing patio full of people could see. I’d do it again without changing a thing! When: March 20. Where: Starbucks. #1602-0330 JULY 20 - 26, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37

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FOLIO VOICES : BACKPAGE EDITORIAL

DALE RATERMANN’s Crossword presented by

SAN MARCO 2044 San Marco Blvd.

398-9741

PONTE VEDRA

SOUTHSIDE

330 A1A North 280-1202

10300 Southside Blvd.

394-1390

THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA

AVENUES MALL

AVONDALE 3617 St. Johns Ave. 388-5406

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Fattes is a Jacksonville writer and retired U.S. Congressional program evaluator.

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Lawful Schroeder’s instrument in “Peanuts” Fan noise Ex-Jax City Council prez Henry VIII’s second Boisterous U– Ruckus Money roll Fashion inits.

Nevada-toFlorida dir.

DEA parent Where to buy pieces of CSX Red (candy) Big name in little trains Tom Petty’s “ Skin” Hair-raising Ex-Jags safety Indian currency Beach item Pts. and qts.

Slowly seep QuiltFest mo.

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54 Paulo 55 Rite answer 56 State tree 58 22-story Downtown building 60 Sgt., e.g.

62 Donut shop nickname and a hint to 16and 38-Across and 12- and 38-Down 65 Game fish 66 An Imperial’s main ingredient 67 Cards and Cubs 68 Local state forest 69 Ed.’s pile

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American, much less an American Christian, would be anything but a diehard progressive.

And yet, despite the overwhelming number of progressives in this country, progress retreated over the past couple of decades. The rise of Trumpism is clearly a function of the Republican Party’s constant bashing of American progress at all levels and pushing nefarious agendas on this country. Trump is making it explicitly clear what the Republican Party stands for. Despite limited numbers of registered Republicans, the Republican Party is winning at the voting booth, which translates into political power.

Their ascent to power is also a result of progressives not getting to the voting booth at every election. We will always be at war with this anti-progress element, but we must win the battles, one local, state, national election at a time. We must stop hurting ourselves and this nation by voting for only ideal candidates, in ideal circumstances and at ideal times.

Progress is not all or nothing. Progress is a battle fought in increments. Sometimes, progress is maintenance, holding your ground, not letting the situation retreat.

So don’t get turned off by not being able to vote for the Bern. Now is not the time for ideal voting. Too much is at stake for you to be turned off and not cast your vote on Election Day. Vote for the good ones. They may not be perfect, but the strength of their numbers is good for progress, which is good for you and your country’s long-term health and well-being.

Stop the Retreat. Vote. You’ve seen the alternative, right?

John Fattes mail@folioweekly.com _____________________________________

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HAVE YOU EVER seen, smelled, and eaten a perfect hamburger? You see them on TV all the time. You probably even cooked one or have been served one. So you know what it looks like, smells like, and tastes like. How many times have you thrown out those less-thanperfect hamburgers?

My guess is not many. Eating only perfect hamburgers means you waste a lot of good food, in addition to time, energy, and money.

Think about that when you decide NOT to vote this year. Don’t let your ideals get in the way of voting. Americans with liberal and progressive leanings, which are most of us, are ideal-oriented and can get discouraged easily when things are not perfect. You might say we are spoiled kids in that regard.

And yes, I am also talking to you, young people. You are important in every election.

The trick to growing up is not losing your ideals when things don’t turn out right or just as you want them. It’s a long-term battle. This is especially true with regard to politics. If there is no ideal candidate, you don’t vote. Really?

That’s where history is important. You may have read some books or seen a play or movie on how the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution and/or the Bill of Rights were developed. And I hope you noticed how, for example, the idealist John Adams came to terms with less-than-perfect outcomes. Aren’t you glad?

Now let’s get some things straight: America was not founded by conservatives, but by progressives. America was not built — and continues to not be built — by conservatives, but by progressives. Nor was Christianity developed by a conservative, but by a progressive. Christ shredded Old Testament concepts. It seems incongruous to me that any

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7 Comedy Central’s .0 8 Hippie’s van 9 Real SOB 10 Abner’s size 11 “Loud and clear” 12 Places to get boats repaired 14 iPhone, e.g.

18 “But there is in Mudville ” 21 DDE opponent 25 Prison blades 26 Burt’s ex-wife 30 Sea birds 32 Faithful friend to Kemosabe 33 Works hard 35 Garden tool 36 Made lumber

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Post opposite Oversimplify Not required Drift off to go Cummer Museum work High regard Bamboo fans Raises a glass Animal trail Soldier’s wear Striped pet 1700, etched Common sight in 68-Across Evita narrator Man-mouse link Former org. in the Mideast

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