07/27/16 The Power Of Connection

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THIS WEEK // 7.27-8.02.16 // VOL. 29 ISSUE 17 COVER R STORY

THE POWER OF

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CONNECTION In the AGE OF SOCIAL MEDIA, Melissa Ross’ radio program BRIDGES THE DIVIDE. story by MATTHEW B. SHAW

FEATURED ARTICLES FEATURED

JIHAD HEEHAW IN JACKSONVILLE

[9]

WHO KNEW WHAT… AND WHEN

BY AG GANCARSKI Why are 4th Circuit candidates stoking FEAR ABOUT ISLAM?

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BY CLAIRE GOFORTH Medical examiner may have known of PREDECESSOR’S DEMENTIA years BEFORE HER RETIREMENT

CUTTING THE CABLE [39] JUST GOT WEIRD BY SARLOS CANTANA These days, RABBIT EARS CHANNEL some seriously STRANGE CONTENT

COLUMNS + CALENDARS FROM THE EDITOR OUR PICKS MAIL/B&B FIGHTIN’ WORDS NEWS ARTS

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FROM THE EDITOR

POISON PENINSULA Pass THE DEET and fire up the fogger: It’s Holocaust time

FLORIDA IS BEING POISONED. UNLIKE SO MUCH other poison that we spray, spread, emit and apply, this poisoning is being done in the name of staying healthy. We’re poisoning our state to fight the Zika virus. I know what you’re thinking: We’re being saved from the plague, donchya know? Zika can cause devastating birth defects, so pass the DEET and move on, libturd! We’ve been spraying for mosquitos since Christ was a child (or since about a century ago), and the kids have only the two eyes each, not three, so pack the granola, slip those leather sandals back on and roll down the road, hippie, we don’t need your leftie opinions. Though the symptoms of the virus are so mild that many people don’t even realize they’ve contracted it, the threat of Zika is certainly real, particularly — to borrow a line from thousands of late night pharmaceutical commercials – for women who are pregnant or may become pregnant. Zika is proven to cause microcephaly in babies born to mothers who contract the virus while pregnant. There is no cure for microcephaly and its symptoms can range from extremely mild to extremely debilitating. So the state is treating every diagnosed case of Zika much the same way the Jaguars treated Dan Marino in his last game: no-holds-barred utter annihilation. (Still too soon, Dolphins fans?) Fighting Zika is expensive but — people believe — it’s worth it. Officials in Volusia County told the Associated Press last week that each of the three cases of Zika diagnosed there has cost the county between $9,000 and $24,000. It’s dern expensive to send officials to test, spray, fog and whatever else it takes to find those pesky Aedes aegypti and wipe them the hell out, just like the Jags wiped out Miami’s favorite nonSuper-Bowl-ring-wearing QB at the last game of his career, which also happened to be in the playoffs. (Man, that had to sting.) Right now the state is poised on the brink of a crisis. As we reported in June after the first baby was born in Florida with Zikarelated microcephaly, Governor Rick Scott has used his executive authority to activate $26.2 million in emergency spending to fight the virus and AP reported last week that the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention has coughed up nearly $60 million. Meanwhile, the U.S. Congress was heavily criticized earlier this month when it took off for seven weeks without approving the $1.9 billion the Obama

Administration sought to fight the virus. We’ve sprayed and fogged and spent and spent, but to keep going, we’re going to need a serious cash injection, which, as Dr. Anthony Fauci, director of the National Institute of Allergy & Infectious Diseases, told AP, the CDC needs “like, yesterday.” It’s easy to justify spending these millions and billions to lawmakers and laymen alike: Just show them a picture of a baby with a shrunken head and pretty much everyone’s on board with poisoning the planet if it means they can unsee that grisly image. It’s the human way to kill the earth if it’ll save one baby. Then there’s the reality that pregnant women who contract Zika may have to decide between aborting a child that might be so severely handicapped as to require lifelong care and have a questionable quality of life or rolling the dice and finding out on delivery day. You don’t have to be as anti-choice as Florida Representative Charles Van Zant, who annually proposes to outlaw abortion — with one teensy exception for when the mother’s life is in danger — to know that more dead babies (read: not babies, fetuses) is never a good thing. Get the checkbook out, electorate, it’s time to play Spend Those Taxes. Never mind that billions of other life forms are being killed by our efforts to “control” (read: poison the holy hell out of) mosquitoes. According to a research paper published by U.S. Fish & Wildlife Conservation in 2004, the deadly frappes that fog our backyards and pollute our waterways can also kill moths, butterflies, aquatic insects and more, while allowing certain species that are not as susceptible to the substance to thrive, thus disturbing the food web and minimizing biodiversity. FWC wrote, “Virtually every pesticide currently used to manage mosquito populations has the potential to adversely impact nontarget species.” But who cares? We’ve decided as a species that one human life is more sacred than all the other lives on the planet, so send out the mosquito truck that kills the butterflies, spray the weedkiller that kills the bees, and ignore the youths collecting signatures to ban the pesticide that kills the fish. There’s people to save! When the future looks back and wonders what killed all the frogs, turtles, butterflies, bats and birds, there will be only one answer: humans. And when, after the plague, famine, war and drought-created Holocaust that result from mass extinction and climate change, the last human wonders why we did it, why we poisoned our own planet, the answer will be simple: To save their life. Because we thought it was the only life worth saving. Claire Goforth claire@folioweekly.com JULY 27 - AUG 2, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5


JAXCOT JAX AROUND THE WORLD Hit the beach and satisfy your hankerin’ for international eats at JAXCOT Jax

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Around the World’s Farm to Fender Festival. Thus daylong foodie fête has food trucks with a variety of fare and desserts from 40 countries and regional U.S. areas, along with beer and wine, live music, more than 30 craftspeople and local vendors, and a veritable paradise of kid-geared activities, including bounce houses, pony rides, rock climbing, and a video game truck. 4-10 p.m. Saturday, July 30, SeaWalk Pavilion, Jax Beach, free for adults; $10 per child, ages 3 and younger free, facebook.com/jaxfoodtruckrally.

OUR PICKS

REASONS TO LEAVE THE HOUSE THIS WEEK

DRINKIN’ WITH FIDO! PUP CRAWL

“Fetch, Old Blue! Fetch me an oatmeal triple stout!” This weekend, four pooch-loving, libationary-rich businesses in Fernandina Beach are offering a dog-friendly pub crawl featuring special drink prices with a purchase a $5 Friends of Animals in Nassau bandana. And, better still, all proceeds go toward increasing animal adoptions and funding animal care. 4-7 p.m. Sunday, July 31, Green Turtle Tavern, 14 S. Third St.; Florida House Inn, 22 S. Third St.; The Patio Place, 416 Ash St.; Dog Star Tavern, 10 N. Second St.; Lechonera El CoquÍ, 232 N. 2nd St.;

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GIRLS ROCK CAMPER SHOWCASE

Each year, the weeklong program Girls Rock Camp provides a creative place for girls ages 9-17, who are trans or gender nonconforming youth from diverse backgrounds in the Jacksonville area. It’s their chance to learn an instrument, form a band and write a song, participate in workshops centered on empowerment and creativity, and then perform at a showcase highlighting their camp experience. Folks wanting to support this very cool project while hearing some tunes by future stars must be at the fifth annual showcase this weekend. 3 p.m. Saturday, July 30, 1904 Music Hall, Downtown, girlsrockjacksonville.org. 6 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 27 - AUG 2, 2016

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COUNTRY FEST AT THE LANDING

Are the kids still doing the “badonkadonk”? Do millennials listen to country music? Is light beer considered a sunscreen? Explore these and other musical mysteries this weekend at a free show featuring up-and-coming country artists Canaan Smith (pictured), Tucker Beathard, Aubrey Wollett, and Southern Sass. 6 p.m. Thursday, July 28, Jacksonville Landing, Downtown, jacksonvillelanding.com.

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THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT

HONKY TONKIN’ ON THE RIVER

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HOMEGROWN GROOVES EMMA MOSELEY BAND

Northeast Florida’s very own Emma Moseley Band serves a potent brew of soul and rock that has been rocking crowds from Duval to Austin, Texas’ legendary SXSW festival. The band is currently supporting their sophomore album, NineFour-Nine, which was co-produced by Mitch Easter, of REM and Drive-By Truckers fame. 6 p.m. Saturday, July 30 with Kristopher James and The Curt Towne Band, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Backyard Party, staugamphitheatre.com.


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THE MAIL

PROMISES, PROMISES

RE.: “Corrine’s Day in Court,” by AG Gancarski, July 13 WAS SHE JUST CARELESS OR WAS IT willful negligence? Maybe if she promises not to do it again, the feds will back off. I wonder why Bubba didn’t mention this at that airport huddle with Lynch? Marc Kortlander via Facebook

AFFIRMATIVE DISCRIMINATION

RE.: “Reborn or Torn Asunder,” by Julie Delegal, July 13 NOT SURPRISINGLY, JULIE DELEGAL FAILS TO mention four decades and counting of legalized discrimination AGAINST whites, aka Affirmative Action. But I remember. Affirmative Action has cost me much, including the opportunity to attend Harvard Law School, where non-whites with lower grades and test scores were admitted instead of me. So when Ms. Delegal says “atonement” is needed, I say no thanks. I already gave at the office. Gary E. Eckstine via email

IS IT 2018 YET?

RE.: “An Open Letter to Mayor Curry,” by Mitch Marcus, July 6 MITCH MARCUS, IN HIS LETTER TO LENNY Curry, has voiced the thoughts of many LGBTQ people, their friends and their families. We are all citizens of this town, not just the religious or the Republican. We are all voters and despite what some politicos would like for us to believe, we have long memories. Mr. Curry, 2018 is just around the corner. Susan Keel via email

UNCLE TOM’S ADVICE

RE.: “The Enemy Within,” by Claire Goforth, July 20 MS. GOFORTH’S EDITORIAL ON WOMEN who don’t support her position on fighting for gender equality was more evidence of a growing stridency in her work. A previous tirade on criminal sentencing spent an entire page treating the horror of sentencing a convicted criminal to consecutive terms of imprisonment that added up to well more than the expected life span as cruel and unusual punishment. If the judge substituted life without possibility of parole, is that better? What really upset me about that piece was her argument about sentencing the criminal convicted of the attempted shooting of his sentencing judge and the follow on forgery of release papers calling for him to be released from custody. His rifle shot went through the judge’s house window, narrowly missing him. Ms. Goforth could not understand the severity of the sentence for this criminal since he missed and flying glass only scratched the judge. Really? Now she is throwing out the term Uncle Tom for women who either don’t campaign for women’s equality or take positions Ms. Goforth feels are hurting such equality. Using the term Uncle Tom has been largely discredited because it implies that a person is wrong because they don’t agree with the user of the term and are therefore part of the problem. Yet she also says other women have to “allow your sisters the freedom to ... behave as they wish without passing judgment.” That’s good advice, Ms. Goforth, perhaps you should take it. Dennis Egan via email

LEND YOUR VOICE If you’d like to respond to something you read in the pages of Folio Weekly Magazine, please send an email (with your name, address, and phone number for verification purposes only) to mail@folioweekly.com, visit us at folioweekly.com, or follow us on Twitter or Facebook (@folioweekly) and join the conversation.

BRICKBATS + BOUQUETS BRICKBATS TO CIRCUIT JUDGE MARK HULSEY Judge Hulsey currently faces formal charges before the Judicial Qualifications Commission, that he used racially charged language and referred to a female lead staff attorney as a “b----h” and a “c--t.” As appalling as these allegations are, more troubling is that the judge – who has since been reassigned to probate court by Chief Judge Mark Mahon – improperly used a staff attorney to research proper capital trial procedure and later “unfairly berated, and blamed” her for mistakes he made at trial. Turns out there is a market for Presiding Over Death Penalty Cases for Dummies. BOUQUETS TO GUOJUN BU On July 25, Dr. Bu received 2016 MetLife Foundation Major Award for Medical Research on Alzheimer’s disease for his breakthrough discoveries related to the disease. In two decades, Bu and his team have published more than 220 peer-reviewed articles, which have been cited thousands of times. Bu’s unwavering dedication to studying Alzheimer’s disease has earned him and his team recognition among peers as among the most significant contributors to the field. BRICKBATS TO TRI-FORCE DEVELOPMENT In what seems to be yet another example of Goliath kicking the snot out of David, on Friday Tri-Force placed concrete barriers blocking the front entry to the parking lot of Hoby’s Honey & General Store, which leases space there. Hoby’s owner, Ryan Hoback, told News4Jax that he had refused Tri-Force’s previous offer to buy out the lease. Then, three days after Tri-Force took ownership, Hoback says the barriers appeared under the guise of “safety” concerns, blocking access to the 1960s-era building, resulting in an 80 percent decrease in Hoby’s business. DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? HOW ABOUT A BRICKBAT? Send submissions to mail@folioweekly.com; 50 word maximum, concerning a person, place, or topic of local interest.

CORRECTION The July 13 bouquet to Murray Hill Preservation Association incorrectly identified 8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 27 - AUG 2, 2016

the store that provided materials: Craft Paint Store provided the materials.


FOLIO VOICES : FIGHTIN’ WORDS

JIHAD

HEEHAW IN JACKSONVILLE Why are 4th Circuit candidates STOKING FEAR about Islam? MOST FOLIO WEEKLY MAGAZINE READERS probably aren’t Republicans, and because they aren’t Republicans, the candidacies of certain candidates for public defender and state’s attorney are more theoretical than anything else. That said, the tactics those candidates use — stoking fear over an Islamic threat that isn’t germane to their offices, by way of distracting from problems with their own campaigns — are noteworthy. EXHIBIT A: PUBLIC DEFENDER MATT SHIRK. Shirk, Folio Weekly readers may recall, has been “embattled” in his second term. An interoffice scandal, of sorts, resulted in a grand jury recommending that Shirk be removed from office. Shirk wasn’t down with that. “Am I going to resign?” Shirk asked The Florida Times-Union. “No. If the voters decide that they don’t want me as public defender any longer, then they’ll speak to that and that will be it.” And lo and behold, here we are. Shirk has run a campaign that has been two parts peripatetic and one part pathetic. The peripatetic parts have been campaign postures that, instead of attacking opponent Charlie Cofer, have taken issue with State Attorney Angela Corey. The pathetic part is Shirk’s attempts to roil the base — especially those elements that haven’t followed the scandals of yesteryear — by taking issue with President Obama. “Obama has deep ties to Islam,” Shirk tweeted on July 7. “Is this why he refuses to call Radical Islam what it actually is?” Describing Obama as “having a deep emotional attachment to the Muslim world [that] has hurt the USA,” Shirk told me that President Obama is “comfortable with a certain level of Americans dying at the hands of Islamic terrorists.” Zoinks. I asked Shirk if his feelings on Muslims affected his ability to defend them. He told me that he had “no idea” if the PD’s office had Muslim clients. So, to clarify: Shirk is all fired up to stop Jihad. But he doesn’t know if anyone he represents is Muslim. Which leads an observer to believe that he is either obtuse or feigning obtuseness. Sort of like how it’s obtuse to say the president wants Americans to die in terror attacks. But that’s what you do when you’ve been in office eight years and no one will write you checks. Work the rubes. EXHIBIT B: WES WHITE, A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE FOR STATE ATTORNEY. Wes White is kind of like a See-n-Say. Pull a string and one of about six canned messages will come out. But at least he tailors his shtick to the crowd. At Bill Hay’s State Attorney debate, the conversation somehow turned to Sharia law.

(He didn’t bemoan having “white privilege” in that forum.) A question like the paraphrased, “What would you do if Sharia law came to our shores?” was manna from Heaven for Hay, White, and the shut-ins listening to his show. “Four words: Over. My. Dead. Body,” White responded. “It won’t happen in this country because good men and women will stand at the walls [Side note: Which walls?] and make sure it doesn’t happen.” “And I don’t care how many people the president imports from Syria or from Muslimspeaking countries,” White added. Like Shirk’s remark, the non-sequitur jab at Obama was intended for the cheap seats. Which is all that campaign can afford. Without personal loans, White’s campaign would be in the red. And that’s why he’s serving up red meat. Maybe that will work; it’s a red meat kind of year. As I type this, it is hours after the Republican Party — which once upon a time gave lip service to limited government — nominated the most authoritarian candidate in American history. The world has changed. Conservatives of the William F. Buckley Jr. mold had their faults, but a guiding principle behind most of their thought was that, except when absolutely necessary to avoid imminent public danger, government should stay out of people’s lives. Government was there to keep the peace. Not keep tabs on you, cradle to grave. Things have changed. Trump’s production went on for four straight days. If there was one genuine small government moment in the whole deal, I missed it. There was plenty of red meat, though. A problem with serving red meat rests in what the “two-minute hate” style rhetoric brings out in people. It brings out their basest, coarsest side, sacrificing the need for individual autonomy on the funeral pyre of a so-called common enemy. And it adds up, almost invariably, to nothing. Real talk: White and Shirk would rather talk about the threat of undue Islamic influence than attempt to make their affirmative cases for election. White works the tough talk gimmick. Shirk cleaves to a redemption narrative that, even though it may be completely true, is cloying when presented in the press. Neither can talk records. So they bank on histrionics. The donor class hasn’t opened the checkbooks for either one of these guys. So the move is to work the rubes. Give them a good scare about the president or Sharia law. Make the suckers feel like you really get them. That’s populism, Trump-style. AG Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com Twitter/AGGancarski JULY 27 - AUG 2, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9


FOLIO COMMUNITY : NEWS

Medical examiner may have known of predecessor’s dementia years BEFORE HER RETIREMENT

WHO KNEW WHAT … AND WHEN LAST MONTH, MEDICAL EXAMINER VALERIE Rao categorically denied knowledge that her predecessor, Margarita Arruza, was diagnosed with early onset dementia while still in office. But a deposition obtained by Folio Weekly Magazine seems to indicate that Rao not only knew this — she knew it years before Arruza retired at the end of 2010. According to numerous sources, Arruza was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, a type of dementia, in the latter half of 2010, but it wasn’t widely known until the publication of FWM cover story, “Truth, Justice or the Angela Corey Way,” on June 22, which reported on Corey’s failure to inform defense in homicide cases in which Arruza autopsied the alleged victims. (By law, prosecutors are required to inform defense of any exculpatory evidence, such as the incapacity of a potential witness.) Last month, FWM reported that Rao became extremely agitated when questioned about the reasons for Arruza’s retirement. Asked if she knew Arruza was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, Dr. Rao said, “I am totally unaware of that.” Asked if she had noticed anything out of the ordinary with Arruza’s behavior in the months before her retirement, which was effective on Dec. 31, 2010, Dr. Rao said she had noticed “no atypical behavior.” FWM has obtained a 2013 deposition from a homicide case that may contradict those recent statements of Rao’s. The following is an exchange between Rao and an assistant public defender during the deposition in the case of Florida v. John Collins Jr.: Public Defender: How long was Dr. Aruso [sic] sick before she left? Dr. Rao: I would say about — she started to decline in about early 2009 or maybe even late 2008. Public Defender: And why would you say that? 10 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 27 - AUG 2, 2016

Dr. Rao: Because there were some observations that the employees made along the way. Public Defender: Did you ever notice anything? Dr. Rao: Yes. Public Defender: What did you notice? Dr. Rao: Forgetfulness. The deposition was taken on May 30, 2013. In an interview with News4Jax’s Jim Piggott on July 13, Rao denied that there was any inconsistency between her statements. “Everybody forgets,” she said, a phrase she repeated several times throughout the interview. In an email to FWM on July 18, Rao doubled down on these statements. “Forgetting stuff does not equate to any illness that I as a physician is [sic] aware of. … I know that in my daily life and I am sure that in yours too one forgets. I hope that one does not jump to any scary diagnosis based on that.” She continued, “I do recall that in those years mentioned, the office was understaffed with pathologists so one is juggling multiple duties and that also could have contributed to forgetfulness.” In the interview with Piggott, Rao also said that because the chief medical examiner does not directly report to anyone in the office, the technicians with whom they work are the most likely to witness behavioral, memory or other issues that affect their ability to perform essential job functions. In such a circumstance, Rao said that the proper entity to inform is the State Attorney’s Office. Via email, the SAO issued the following statement: It should be noted that Ms. Corey was not the State Attorney in 2008. If the matter was brought to the previous administration’s attention, it was not relayed to Ms. Corey. The matter was not brought to Ms. Corey’s

attention until October 2010. When Ms. Corey became aware of Dr. Arruza’s “forgetfulness,” Ms. Corey took immediate action and Dr. Arruza retired. If Dr. Rao or other Medical Examiner employees made any observations of “forgetfulness” in regards to Dr. Arruza as described in this deposition, they were not were brought to Ms. Corey’s attention. Corey was sworn in as State Attorney on Jan. 6, 2009. Her predecessor, Harry Shorstein, said, “I was not aware of anyone reporting early dementia, early Alzheimer’s, in regards to Dr. Arruza. As long as I was State Attorney, I thought that she was an extremely competent and respected medical examiner.” Shorstein wasn’t certain, but said he thought the last time Arruza may have testified in a trial he conducted as State Attorney was in early 2008. RAO AND COREY’S RELATIONSHIP HAS previously been criticized, perhaps most notably when Corey was prosecuting George Zimmerman for the murder of Trayvon Martin, of which he was ultimately acquitted. Although she did not autopsy Martin, Rao was called by the prosecution to testify in that case. According to CNN, following Rao’s testimony that Zimmerman’s injuries were “insignificant,” which contradicted his defense that he was fighting for his life, defense attorney Mark O’Mara implied on cross-examination that Rao owed her job to Corey. And in 2013, when reports surfaced that Rao’s employees had accused her of creating a hostile work environment and making insensitive comments toward them, The Florida Times-Union reported that, “Rao’s December 2011 appointment by Gov. Rick Scott came after a recommendation from State Attorney Angela

Corey, favorable references from doctors and a background investigation that did not include contact with former co-workers.” Asked by Piggott if she believes the current publicity surrounding this story is “purely political,” Rao emphatically agreed. “It’s now in the open public that Maggie has dementia — I think it is such an invasion of privacy,” Dr. Rao said. The medical examiner is a state employee appointed by the governor. The Florida Department of Law Enforcement oversees the Medical Examiner’s Commission. The local Medical Examiner’s Office is in charge of conducting autopsies on decedents in which cause of death is suspicious or uncertain whose deaths occur in Clay, Duval, Nassau, Columbia and Hamilton counties. According to the Medical Examiner’s Office, in 2009 and 2010, Arruza performed a total of 452 autopsies, 54 on decedents whose deaths could potentially be ruled a homicide. According to Arruza’s personnel file, her job performance was evaluated in October 2009. The evaluation found her to have exhibited “exemplary performance,” the second-highest rating. In June, Dr. Stephen Nelson, chairman of the Medical Examiner’s Commission, told News4Jax that he wasn’t aware of any complaints against Arruza. Nelson acknowledged that the timeline of Arruza’s departure — from September 2010, when Patrick McGuinness told FWM he first reported her unusual behavior to the SAO, to December 2010 — was “very quick” for a government entity. “You want your people to be on their A-game when doing autopsies, no doubt about it,” Dr. Nelson said. Claire Goforth claire@folioweekly.com ______________________________________ News4Jax contributed to the reporting on the story, which previously appeared on FolioWeekly.com.


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In the age of social media, Melissa Ross’ radio program BRIDGES THE DIVIDE

The Power of

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B. SHAW

photo courtesy Rene Parenteau

Story by MATTHEW


A

round 5 p.m. on Thursday, July 7, just before departing for the day, local radio personality Melissa Ross put the finishing touches on what she thought was just another thorough and thought-

provoking script for following day’s “First Coast Connect,” WJCT’s daily local radio call-in show. Later in the evening, however, news broke that several police officers had been

shot in Dallas during a march protesting police brutality. It was a shocking development. The reports that evening were rife with oblique details and conflicting information. Shortly after 9 p.m., as pundits on multiple 24-hour news stations speculated on the motives behind the shooting, Ross sent a text message to her longtime co-producer Sean Birch. “Scrap it,” the message read.

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ess than two miles from Jacksonville’s languid Urban Core, sandwiched between the moldering Metropolitan Park and the trumpeted EverBank Field, the WJCT studios are not really part of any neighborhood. With all the politics surrounding changes in other parts of the city, WJCT’s position is neutral, metaphorically speaking. Around 7:30 a.m. on Friday, a mere 12 hours after she had finished the now-useless script, Ross arrived at the studios, ready to start afresh. It’ll be a morning of flexibility and ad-libbing. Ross knows she’ll have to steer her guests with what little information is available, contextualizing and making the topic relevant to her loyal listeners, often on the fly. “On days like that, you basically scrap whatever you had planned and you shift gears,” Ross told me weeks later, from her office inside WJCT. “That happens a lot now. It’s the nature of the news cycle. You have to be prepared to be really nimble.” Aside from a collection of Betty Boop tchotchkes, Ross’ office is decorated with numerous awards. While the Betty Boops come courtesy of Ross’ mother-in-law — a nod to Ross’ tattoo of the iconic cartoon

flapper — the accolades cover a broad range: a “Women of Influence” award from Jacksonville Business Journal, a variety of trophies from Public Radio News Directors Association, a string of “Best Local Radio Personality” awards from readers of this esteemed magazine. In addition to hosting First Coast Connect (FCC), Ross serves as the show’s producer. She books most of the guests herself. “WJCT has given me the kind of autonomy here that is really rare in this line of work,” she says. “I have to give them credit for trusting me with that.” Though she’s far more often the interviewer, Ross is an attentive interviewee. She has a keen sense of when she might be veering toward the tangential, and is quick to adjust her answers. Even as a smile crosses her face while explaining the Betty Boop tattoo, something about Ross’ nature seems antithetic to the leveling of judgment, even if it’s upon herself. This is no small part of what has made Ross such a popular local figure. She’s held in high esteem within the arts community, but the respect for Ross transcends political lines.

At the end of April, when Jacksonville Mayor Lenny Curry needed a platform from which to kick off his campaign to convince the city’s residents of the cogency of his pension tax proposal, First Coast Connect — a public radio program — was his first stop. It says a lot about the kind of audience the show has nurtured: informed, diverse, and politically engaged. “The most important thing I try to do is to foster dialogue and grant access so that people can connect with policymakers or interesting figures from around Jacksonville,” Ross says. “It’s a gift to be given that opportunity. It’s really gratifying.”

F

irst Coast Connect airs from 9 a.m. to 10 a.m., Monday through Friday on 89.9FM. Listeners are invited to telephone the station and ask questions of guests, who tend to inhabit spheres of influence in politics, art, or have some form of cultural currency. September will mark seven years for the show. Over that time period, the show has earned a vast and loyal audience. “First Coast Connect is an important resource for the

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“The most important thing I try to do is to FOSTER DIALOGUE and grant access so that people can connect with policymakers or interesting figures from around Jacksonville,” Ross says. “IT’S A GIFT to be given that opportunity.”

The Power of

CO CONNECTION ONNECTION <<< FROM PREVIOUS community,” says University of North Florida political science professor Matt Corrigan. Corrigan is a fairly frequent guest on FCC, offering an academic point of view on political topics. “[Melissa] gives people an opportunity to have a conversation longer than just a sound bite,” he says. “Melissa’s show provides a forum for a much broader discussion. People want to talk to her.” Tony Allegretti, executive director of the Cultural Council of Greater Jacksonville (also Folio Weekly Magazine’s Person of the Year for 2015) makes sporadic appearances on FCC, as well. “The balance of content with cultural events and efforts make First Coast Connect as accessible as any [show] I’ve seen in Jacksonville since I arrived 20 years or so ago,” says Allegretti. “The show provides access to stakeholders, events and ideas that would otherwise go unnoticed,” he says. “Melissa has such a great reputation because she is fair to her guests and callers.” “Melissa’s strong point as a host is her ability to take complex issues and make them engaging to people who aren’t engaged on 14 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 27 - AUG 2, 2016

a granular level,” says FWM columnist A.G. Gancarski, who has been a regular guest on the show for the last six years. With approximately 90,000 listeners tuning in weekly, the show has certainly widened the political discourse. A new partnership with TV Jax, which films local segments and offers them on-demand through its website, will bring FCC to an even wider, digital audience. Meanwhile, Ross’ voice has become the voice of public radio in Northeast Florida, making her a local celebrity in her own right. “There is something about this medium that is just so intimate,” Ross says about the show’s popularity. “It’s not just about this show. People love WJCT. Public radio means a lot to them.” “People will come up to me in public and just throw their arms around me,” Ross continues. “In my 20 years of working in television, that never happened.”

R

oss came to Jacksonville in 2003. By that time, the graduate of the Medill School of Journalism at Northwestern University in Illinois had worked as a television news reporter and anchor in several different cities, including Cincinnati, Orlando and one in Kentucky. “The discipline involved in that kind of work helped me in my current role,” Ross says. “[In television], you’ll be asked to do a couple of live shots, a couple of news packages, and copy for the web, every day. And you have to hit your mark, every day.”

“The show provides access to stakeholders, events and ideas that would otherwise go unnoticed. Melissa has such a great reputation because she is fair to her guests and callers.” - Tony Allegretti


Though she says she was already beginning to feel burned out on television reporting, Ross agreed to a three-year contract with First Coast News in 2003. “It’s a really difficult business and I felt like it wasn’t what it was when I started all those years ago,” Ross says about leaving the field, which she did after her contract was up in 2006. “I felt like, for the the most part, the length of the stories [on television] don’t really give you the latitude and the format to do real journalism.” When the opportunity came to take a more long-form approach to storytelling, Ross jumped at it. The documentary 904, for which Ross served as executive producer, took an in-depth look at the epidemic of violent crime in Jacksonville — which at that time was being derided as

could do that. She has really good 360 degree view of the world.” In December 2015, Ross filled in as host for Diane Rehm’s nationally syndicated radio program, substantiating Luckin’s instincts about her potential as a radio personality. “If she knew only politics, or knew only pop-culture, she’d be lacking,” he says. “Intellectual curiosity is the trick to the whole thing.” Ross was hired and FCC began in earnest at the end of the summer in 2009. In Ross describes Luckin as being instrumental to the show’s early success. “It was Melissa doing the show, we had an intern helping, and then me running the board,” Luckin says of FCC’s humble origins. “We took off pretty bare bones. That’s safe to say.”

When Jacksonville Mayor Lenny Curry needed a platform to kick off his campaign to convince the city’s residents of the cogency of his pension tax proposal, First Coast Connect was his first stop.

one of the murder capitals of the United States. The film was well-received locally and eventually shown on WJCT’s television station. The documentary also got the attention of WJCT producer and musical director, David Luckin. “I’d seen Melissa on TV and knew she wasn’t doing that anymore,” Luckin says. “But when the idea came up to do [First Coast Connect], I just knew she was right for it. I just knew it,” he says. “I remember hearing Diane Rehm interview Henry Kissinger in the first halfhour of her show. Then Smokey Robinson in the last half-hour,” Luckin continues. “Melissa

A

fter scrapping the script for Friday’s show, Ross worked feverishly to prepare a new one, now a mere hour from airtime. She combed the websites of various news sources to get the latest from Dallas and was still updating her script as The Florida Times-Union’s David Bauerlein took his seat in the studio. Shortly thereafter, Birch brought in warm scripts, hot off the press, placing one in front of Bauerlein and another

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The Power of

CO CONNECTION ONNECTION <<< FROM PREVIOUS underneath each neon-green microphone soon to be used by former Examiner blogger Fred Matthews, Mark Judson of the University of North Florida’s newspaper The Spinnaker and A.G. Gancarski, respectively. As she does nearly every Friday, Ross had invited media pundits from several prominent Northeast Florida publications for the Friday Media Roundtable, an on-air discussion of the news of moment. The Media Roundtable has become one of FCC’s most popular and liveliest segments. With less than a minute remaining before the program is scheduled to go live, Ross finally enters the studio. Dressed in a dark pantsuit, a bright red blouse and high heels, she greets the panel with an obligatory, yet gracious “Hello, everybody. Thanks for being here,” before setting down her “I Love WJCT” coffee mug, taking a seat at the head of the table and carefully placing a pair of studio-quality headphones over her blonde, feathered curls. The cacophony of digital drum sounds that serve as the introduction to the show’s theme song set Ross in motion, figuratively, as she begins reading from her freshly prepared

script, welcoming listeners to the program in her calm, maternal voice. There’s little tonal alteration as Ross delivers the horrific news from the night before, calling it “shocking and tragic” before asking Matthews for his take. Matthews more or less summarizes the newest information regarding the incident in Dallas, saying that the shooter was motivated by a growing resentment toward police officers and sympathy for the Black Lives Matters Movement. It’s clear from the first moments of the discussion that the event brings to light a whole host of issues regarding race and racism, authority, economic inequality, justice, and much more. The other panelists volley around some of these topics a bit, while Ross keeps the conversation moving, fielding calls from “Larry who is Downtown,” “CJ on the Southside,” and “Christian in Jacksonville.” The switchboard is lighting up. Later I asked Gancarski, who aside from writing a column for FWM, writes for the digital-only publication Florida Politics, why, with so many platforms from which to pontificate, do people still call in to a radio program like FCC? “People are inherently narcissistic,” Gancarski says. “They want to be heard. They want their name out there. To call in and talk with a reporter or a public figure someone might disagree with can be a real thrill for many in the listening audience.” Ross thinks listeners’ motivations are more virtuous. “This show is meant to be a platform to be heard,” she says. “I think a lot of the

anger this year politically has to do with people feeling like they haven’t been heard. I think [calling in] is just really cathartic for people.” Back on the Roundtable, the panelists are engaging in a rather meta-discussion about the media’s role in sensationalizing these kinds of events and Ross, likely empathizing with her listeners, keenly maneuvers the conversation over to Gancarski, prompting him with a question about JSO’s struggle to gain the trust of the city’s African-American community in the wake of the shooting of Vernell Bing Jr. by local police. Gancarski, who Ross describes as a “political junkie with a strong point of view,” catches the lob and slams it home, launching into a two-minute narrative that includes statements from the mayor’s office and JSO overtime statistics. It’s lively, informative, and fast-paced radio. Then Ross fields a call from “Kelly in Jacksonville,” sparking the most powerful 30 seconds of the show. Like many callers, “Kelly in Jacksonville” begins by listing some of her bona fides: African-American, woman, mother to four sons. Anyone who has listened to a radio call-in program will recognize the offering of this unrequested background information as a formality, though an astute listener might recognize it as the foreshadowing of controversial point-of-view. “I’ve raised my children to respect themselves and respect other people,” she says, her voice quavering. “Kelly in Jacksonville” then drops some statistics about the volume of murders in

Chicago over the recent Fourth of July holiday weekend. Forty people were killed, reportedly. “The majority of those people were African-American men,” she says. “My question is: Why is no one speaking about this black-on-black crime? Where is Al Sharpton? Where is the leadership in the AfricanAmerican community?” she asks, before acknowledging how emotional she is. “I understand Black Lives Matter,” she says, sounding on the brink of tears. “But I want to know, if black lives matter so much, why are we not discussing in our community the black men — African-American men — murdering one another?” And herein lies the magic of First Coast Connect. In the face of the confusion that is inherent in a tragic event like the shooting in Dallas, it is natural to engage in some form of soulsearching. To question why things are unfolding in such chaotic ways. It’s what it is to be human. “Kelly in Jacksonville’s” oration — meandering, heartfelt, emotionally charged — contained very little that has not been said before. Some may have thought it sounded like a lecture. Others may have identified with the pain in her voice. In that voice, however, one could not deny the abreaction unfolding as she spoke. On July 8, 2016, laid low by the news from Dallas, with the futures of her four male children playing out in her mind, “Kelly in Jacksonville” needed to be heard. She called First Coast Connect. Matthew B. Shaw mail@folioweekly.com

“It’s a really difficult business and I felt like IT WASN’T WHAT IT was when I started all those years ago … I felt like, for the the most part, the length of the stories [on television] don’t really give you the latitude and the format to do REAL JOURNALISM.”

16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 27 - AUG 2, 2016


JULY 27 - AUG 2, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17


FOLIO A + E

T

he July 22 opening of Memphis at Players by the Sea represented a milestone moment for the musical’s director, Jereme Raicket. The 2007 graduate of Douglas Anderson School of the Arts has certainly put in his time, performing and working behind the scenes at the Alhambra Dinner Theatre, UNF’s Lazzara Performance Hall, as well as PBTS. But, when PBTS Executive Director Joe Schwarz originally asked the young thespian if he’d be interested in making the Emmy Award-winning musical his directorial debut with the company, Raicket was unsure. Memphis tells the story of Huey Calhoun, a white radio Disc Jockey — loosely based on Dewey Phillips, the first DJ to play Elvis Presley on air — who falls in love with Felicia Farrell, a talented AfricanAmerican singer. Written by David Bryan and Joe Pietro, Memphis won acclaim for its musical score, a raucous gamut of tunes that draw deeply from ’50s-era soul, blues, gospel, and rock ’n’ roll. “The subject matter is so powerful,” Raicket says of the musical, which deals heavily in the racism of the late-’50s South. “It’s about love. It’s about equality. It’s about reminding us that it wasn’t too long ago that we were dealing with this kind of hatred. That added a lot of weight to the decision of whether or not to take it on.” Raicket did take it on, finding inspiration in the timely nature of the musical’s storyline. “I decided this is my way of playing a part in the conversation that’s going on right now across the country. What other way is there to do it?” Just days before opening night, Folio Weekly Magazine and Raicket discussed rock ’n’ roll, his lead actors, and his desire to add some grit to Memphis.

FILM Lights Out MUSIC Mannequin Pussy MUSIC Matthew Logan Vasquez LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CALENDAR

ALL THE WAY FROM

Yes, Rashawnda plays Felicia, who is kind of Huey’s inspiration. Rashawnda and I have been friends since high school. I knew I wanted her to audition for the show, but at first I didn’t have her in mind for Felicia. But, similar to what happened with Rodney, she just picked up the script and blew everybody away. A lot of the songs in the musical are meant evoke early rock ’n’ roll – Chuck Berry, Bo Diddley, doo wop, gospel, genres like that. Did you like that kind of music before diving into this production? I didn’t listen to it on a regular basis. I love the sound of it, though. I love blues and I love early rock. Music today has been sterilized. Music during that time seemed really rich and organic. Everything was live. Everything was real. It’s been a pleasure to live in that era, through this production. And a big theme of this musical seems to be that music has the capacity to change people’s hearts and minds. The music in the play is reminiscent of classic sounds, or music we’ve heard before. Was it a challenge for you or the actors to identify what it might have been like to be a young person hearing that music for the first time?

MEMPHIS

Director Jereme Raicket on balancing MUSIC AND MESSAGE I did a lot of research. I’ve always been interested in that era — the late ’50s and ’60s. The fashion, the cars, it certainly looked really cool. It seems to me it was a time when things were just changing so fast. Music was changing. And that must have been exciting for young people, scary for others. The show captures a lot of that change.

hold the audience’s attention longer. The original production was kind of whimsical. It was staged very well, but to be honest, I thought it was very cartoony; even the fight scenes. We took a lot of that stuff and tried to give it more of an edge. We want to people to be on the edges of their seats with how uncomfortable some of those scenes are.

The success of this musical seems to weigh heavily on a balance between the music — which is raucous and fun — and a storyline full of tension and struggle. Were you thinking about that balance? Or were you trying to lean one way or the other? It’s really a challenge. First of all, there is a ton of music in this show. Even though it’s a musical, I wanted it to seem as real as possible. That was my answer for it. Let the sets and the costumes be authentic. The acting has to be authentic. I wanted it to have an almost cinematic feel. I just thought, if we achieve that, we can

Since LaVilla was nicknamed the Harlem of the South and it had both a complex racial history and a rich musical one, did you draw any inspiration from the neighborhood’s past? I actually visited the LaVilla museum inside the Ritz Theater shortly after I came on to direct. I definitely wanted to tap into that. I’m originally from Chicago. Went to high school here in Jacksonville. Living in two cities that were instrumental in the development of American music, I couldn’t help but be inspired by where I’m from. Matthew B. Shaw mail@folioweekly.com

Folio Weekly Magazine: Rodney Holmes plays Huey Calhoun in the musical’s lead role. What did Holmes bring to this part? Jereme Raicket: Huey is one of those parts where we said, ‘Whoever this guy is, he has to be right.’ Rodney picked up the script and immediately the words just came to life. I saw Huey Calhoun standing right in front of me, in that moment. And Rodney has done his research, too, reading up on Dewey Phillips. He really brings the character to life. And Huey’s love interest, the singer Felicia, is played by local actress Rashawnda Foster.

18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 27 - AUG 2, 2016

PG. 23 PG. 25 PG. 26 PG. 27

MEMPHIS

8 p.m. July 28, 29 and 30 Players by the Sea, Jax Beach, $28 The play runs through Aug. 13, playersbythesea.org


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FOLIO A+E : FILM

DARKNESS, DARKNESS

Latest indie horror offering is AN INVENTIVE TAKE on what lurks in the shadows

F

or all the bad horror movies with film in 2013, shows real proficiency at crafting a scare. For example, in the opening scene, predictable scares and schlocky effects, Diana appears on the other side of a room Lights Out is a breath of fresh air, a real when lights are turned off. Office-worker seat-jumper full of “oh no” moments and legitimate frights. It’s everything you want a Esther (Lotta Losten, Sandberg’s wife) thinks horror movie to be, but rarely is. she sees something, so she turns The story centers on Rebecca the lights on and off again. As LIGHTS OUT (Teresa Palmer) and her little she does so, with increasing ***@ stepbrother Martin (Gabriel speed, Diana gets closer every Rated R Bateman), who can’t sleep time the lights go off, creating a because he’s afraid of the dark. darkly imposing sense of danger He has good reason. Rebecca sympathizes that starts the film on a perfect note. because when she was his age (about 10 At 81 minutes, Lights Out is short, years old), she too was tormented by demon sweet and scary. Enough of the backstory Diana (Alicia Vela-Bailey) when the lights is satisfactorily explained, but Sandberg were out. She escaped Diana by moving out and co-writer Eric Heisserer stop short of of the house, but that solution doesn’t work exploring the supernatural forces that allow for Martin. With their mother Sophie (Maria Diana to exist. That’s OK — the “how” isn’t as Bello) no help at all, and Rebecca’s doting important as the “what” here, and in this case boyfriend Bret (Alexander DiPersia) doing the “what” adds up to a horror movie that’s a everything he can to protect them, Rebecca lot of fun. Dan Hudak and Martin try to figure out how to get rid of mail@folioweekly.com the demon once and for all. Director David F. Sandberg takes our natural fear of the dark and subverts it into the story of a demon that exists only in the dark and cannot be exposed to light. “Just keep the lights on!” you’re thinking. Well, Rebecca and Martin try. And though Sandberg does SUN-RAY CINEMA Ghostbusters and Absolutely Fabulous run, 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema. throw in one malfunctioning light too many, com. Jason Bourne starts July 28. for the most part, they’re smart about how SUMMER MOVIE CLASSIC SERIES The 30th (!) they combat the malevolent baddie. This is anniversary of Pretty in Pink (Molly Ringwald, Jon Cryer, important, because many horror movies insult Andrew McCarthy and James Spader, as the hot but the viewer’s intelligence by having characters snarky Steff) is marked with a 2 p.m. July 31 screening, Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Ste. 300, Downtown, do things that are illogical and colossally $7.50; 355-2787, floridatheatre.com. It’s worth it just stupid; in contrast, in Lights Out, characters to watch Cryer lip-sync Otis Redding’s “Try a Little use logic as an asset, albeit to varying degrees Tenderness.” of effectiveness. FREE MOVIES BY THE BAY Ripley’s runs Hotel At the very least, they’re clever about Transylvania, 8:30 p.m. July 27, Municipal Marina, 111 Avenida Menendez, St. Augustine. Star Wars: The Force it. During one sequence, Bret smartly uses Awakens wraps it up Aug. 3. 824-1606, augustine.com. modern technology to get out of a bind. Bring something to sit on. Later, Rebecca uses a blacklight to see Diana, CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ Sunset Song and Hunt for and there’s no shortage of candles, flashlights the Wilderpeople run, 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, and other forms of light available when the 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com. The Affair, noon July 28. A free kids movie runs 11 a.m. July 30. Game of power inevitably goes out. The problem is, Thrones runs at 9 p.m. every Sun. those can light only a limited area, so if it’s IMAX THEATER Star Trek Beyond, National Parks dark behind you … Adventure, A Beautiful Planet and Secret Ocean screen, Sandberg, who is making his feature film World Golf Village IMAX Theater, St. Augustine, 940-4133, debut here after creating this story as a short worldgolfimax.com.

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JULY 27 - AUG 2, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23


FOLIO A+E : MAGIC LANTERNS This week we celebrate MADAME BATHORY’S gruesome legacy!

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he was the stuff of legend in her own time, and even more so today. Born into nobility in the kingdom of Hungary in the mid-16th century, Erzsebet (Anglicized as Elizabeth) Bathory was eventually accused of torturing and murdering hundreds of young girls and women before being brought to trial and condemned for her crimes. Her alleged accomplices suffered gruesome tortures before their execution, but because of her noble blood, Elizabeth was sentenced to be confined in a set of bricked-up rooms with only small slits for food and air. She lasted about four years before dying at 54 years old. Or so the “historical” records go, with considerable variation in the details, depending on the writer’s particular bias. Whatever the real facts, Elizabeth Bathory has the distinction of being named the most prolific female serial killer of all time by the Guinness Book of World Records. She’s inspired countless stories and books from the 18th century on — and of course several films, just like her countryman Vlad Tepes (or Count Dracula). Three particular movies which share the common trait of dealing with Elizabeth in her own time-frame, as opposed to making her some sort of contemporary vampire, demonstrate how variable and fascinating the “real” story behind the “facts” remains today. Countess Dracula (1971), like most of Hammer Productions of that time, is a straightforward horror film with lots of red, red blood and abundant bosoms. In this version, the aging Countess (Ingrid Pitt) discovers the blood of virgin girls renews her own youth, thus making her more attractive to the young nobleman (Sandor Eles) for whom she has set her cap — despite her promise to marry elderly Captain Dobi (Nigel Green). Dobi still becomes her willing assistant, procuring victims for her beauty bath. Further complicating relations at the castle is the arrival of Ilona, the Countess’s buxom young daughter (Lesley-Anne Down) who’s been away at school since childhood. Everything goes to hell, of course, at the not-so-fairy-tale wedding at film’s end, as the Countess is taken to her execution while the townsfolk vilify her as Countess Dracula. The costumes, sets, and color are everything we might expect from the golden age of Hammer Films, as the film solidifies the reputation of Ingrid Pitt as Hammer Horror Queen, despite her appearance in only other two other major roles for the studio — The Vampire Lovers (’70) and The House That Dripped Blood (’71). The recent Blu-ray release is a stunner, including a short but informative feature on Pitt and how she survived WWII, escaped East Berlin, flirted with Richard Burton and Clint Eastwood in Where Eagles Dare (’68), and eventually became a cult figure in horror circles. Bathoryt (2008), later subtitled “Countess of Blood” to attract viewers, is a lavish

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ARTS + EVENTS PERFORMANCE

BLOODY GOOD TIME European production with English actress Anna Friel in the lead role. Though it includes some of the horrific elements of the legend (such as the bath of blood), these elements are more fantasy and hallucination. Rather than a monster, this Erzsebet is a heroic defender of her country and a victim of the machinations of scheming Gyorgy Thurzo (Karl Roden), who wants the Countess and her lands for himself. The character of Darvulia, a sadistic accomplice in the “historical” records and reputed witch in legend, is here a sympathetic ally to Erzsebet; both women eventually succumb to power politics. Bathory is an ambitious effort to demythologize the Bloody Countess while emphasizing the historical background from which the woman and the legend both sprang. It’s an impressive achievement that’s unjustly overlooked in comparison to the earlier Hammer film and the better-received version only a year later in 2009. Starring French actress Julie Delpy in the title role, The Countess is a French-German production that has it both ways — Erzsebet as vicious sadist and/or heartbroken heroine and victim. Opening and closing with a narrative by Thurzo’s son, who was also Erzsebet’s lover, the movie’s prologue quickly moves through the young woman’s early years, when she’s introduced to the brutal realism of the class system and the general cruelty of life. For instance, the young girl buries a live baby bird in a pot of soil, expecting it to grow like a seed, only to be horrified by the maggotinfested corpse she later unearths. Similarly, she’s forced to watch the execution of the peasant boy who inseminates her, the resulting child later whisked away. Moving ahead to her widowhood at 39, we see the Countess dismiss the marriage offer from the elder Thurzo (William Hurt) in favor of a passionate romance with his 21-yearold son (Daniel Bruhl), all the time trying to retain hold of her lands in the war against the Turks which, unlike Bathory, takes place almost entirely in the background. We see her discovery of the restorative powers of virgin blood and her victims’ gruesomely disposed bodies, but the film has a quite different reading of events in the younger Thurzo’s narration, which suggests his greedy father is the orchestrator of the charges and her eventual doom. Besides giving a truly multilayered performance, Delpy also wrote and directed The Countess, imbuing the film with an even greater complexity of history, pathos, tragedy, and (yes!) horror than any of its predecessors. Whatever the real story, the Countess Bathory lives on in film, and I’m sure we’ve not seen the last of her. Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.comt

BRING IT! LIVE The stars of Lifetime’s hit series Bring It!, Miss D and her Dancing Dolls, perform 8 p.m. July 29 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $29.75-$49.75, floridatheatre.com. MEMPHIS Players By The Sea stages the multiple-awardwinning musical, loosely based on pioneering radio DJ Dewey Phillips and his love of underground AfricanAmerican Memphis nightclubs of the 1950s, 8 p.m. July 28, 29, and 30, at 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach, 249-0289; through Aug. 13, playersbythesea.org. BEAUTY & THE BEAST Alhambra Theatre & Dining presents the Tony-winning musical about love between a monster (or is he?) and a princess, through July 31. Dinner 6 p.m.; brunch noon; featuring award-winning Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menu, at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 641-1212, $35-$62, alhambrajax.com. SMOKEY JOE’S CAFÉ Alhambra Theatre & Dining presents the Grammy-winning revue, featuring the legendary rockand-roll songs of hit makers Mike Stoller and Jerry Leiber, Aug. 3-Sept. 4. Dinner 6 p.m.; brunch noon; featuring award-winning Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menu, at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 641-1212, $35-$62, alhambrajax.com.

COMEDY

FRED’S ALL-STAR COMEDIANS Local comedians Jon Vredeburg and John Saoud and others are on 7:30 p.m. July 27 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, 292-4242, $10, comedyzone.com. LAVELL CRAWFORD Comic Crawford, known for his roles in Breaking Bad and American Ultra, is on 8:30 p.m. July 28, 8 p.m. July 29, and 8 & 10:30 p.m. July 30 at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-4277, $29-$50, jacksonvillecomedy.com. MIKE RIVERA Comedian Rivera, ranked “America’s Most Hilarious Teacher,” is on 7:30 p.m. July 28 at The Comedy Zone, 292-4242, $10, comedyzone.com. NENE LEAKES Comedian Leakes, star of Real Housewives of Atlanta, is on 7:30 & 9:45 p.m. July 29 & 30, The Comedy Zone, 292-4242, $25-$30, comedyzone.com.

CALLS & WORKSHOPS

OKLAHOMA! AUDITIONS Limelight Theatre holds auditions for Oklahoma! 2-5 p.m. July 30 at 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, 825-1164. For more info, go to limelight-theatre.org. FOLIO MEDIA HOUSE TABLESIDE GALLERIES Folio Weekly Magazine seeks submissions from artists working in all media interested in having work displayed in some of Northeast Florida’s prominent restaurants. Details, call Kyle Willis, 383-5650, tablesidegalleries@folioweekly.com. NEW TOWN URBAN FARM Urban Geoponics and New Town are developing a large community garden at Pearce and West Third streets, in the New Town/Edward Waters area, Northside. It will provide fresh produce and a hands-on, open-air center of learning for the community and area students. Urban Farm meets 10 a.m.-1 p.m. every Sun. Details, call Diallo-Sekou at 706-284-9808. CALL FOR ARTISTS The 51st annual St. Augustine Arts & Crafts is accepting artists’ applications for its juried event to be held Nov. 26 & 27. The deadline is Aug. 12; staugustineartfestival.com.

ART WALKS & MARKETS

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Local, regional art, music – Morning Yoga with Marcy Knight (9 a.m.), Savanna Leigh Bassett, So You Think You Can Dance, Lauren Fincham, Northeast Florida Dance Coalition, Sahara Silk & Troupe Tarab – food, farmers market, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. July 30 under the Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com. FIRST WEDNESDAY ART WALK The downtown art walk — this month themed “Fun4FirstCoastKids.com Third Annual Back to School Smarts — is 5-9 p.m. Aug. 3, with more than 24 live music venues, more than 20 hotspots open after 9 p.m. and 61 total participating venues, spanning 15 blocks in Downtown Jacksonville. iloveartwalk.com. UPTOWN SATURDAY NIGHT The self-guided tour features galleries, antique stores and shops open 5-9 p.m. July 30 and every last Sat. in St. Augustine’s San Marco District, 824-3152.

MUSEUMS

CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 29 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummermuseum.org. Lift: Contemporary Expressions of the African American Experience, works of local artists Thony Aiuppy, Glendia Cooper, Ingrid Damiani, Overstreet Ducasse, Dustin Harewood, Marsha Hatcher, Hiromi Moneyhun, Princess Rashid, Chip Southworth, and Roosevelt Watson III, responding to the area’s artistic African-American heritage, displays through Feb. 12. David Hayes: The Sentinel Series, sculptures of geometrically abstract, organic forms, displays through Oct. 2. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911, mocajacksonville.unf.edu. Project Atrium: Ethan Murrow is on display through Oct. 30. Confronting the Canvas: Women of Abstraction, 30 works by six contemporary, female Abstract Expressionist painters, displays through Sept. 4. Amer Kobaslija: A Sense of Place, displays through Aug. 14 .

GALLERIES

ADELE GRAGE CULTURAL CENTER 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-5828, coab.us. An exhibit featuring recent works by painter Marsha Hatcher runs through Aug. 1.

THE ART CENTER Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 139, 233-9252, tacjacksonville.org. Texture Art displays through Aug. 1. Debbie Pounder is July’s featured arstist. BREWER’S PIZZA 14B Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 276-5159, brewerspizza.com. Gloria Aitken’s works are on display. BREW FIVE POINTS 1024 Park St., 374-5789, brewfivepoints.com. Photographer Edison William’s exhibit Confusion of the Dream in Planetary Motion - Great Smoky Mountains, displays through mid-July. CASA DORA ITALIAN CAFÉ 108 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 356-8282. Works by Tom Aschenbach are on display. THE CULTURAL CENTER AT PONTE VEDRA BEACH 50 Executive Way, 280-0614, ccpvb.org. The Summer Juried Plein Air Exhibit runs through Sept. 2. HUBLEY GALLERY 804C Anastasia Blvd., St Augustine, 429-9769, hubleygallery.com. Carol Baker is July’s featured artist. INDOCHINE 1974 San Marco Blvd., San Marco, 503-7013, indochinejax.com. Jami Childers’ works are on display. JACKSONVILLE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT 14201 Pecan Park Rd., Northside, 741-3546, jiaarts.org. Works by Shannon Estlund are on display through Sept. 30. MONROE GALLERIES 40 W. Monroe St., Downtown, 881-0209, monroegalleries.com. Works by Barbie BrayWorkman, Jami Childers, Dana Fawn, Leilani Leo, and Dustin Bradley are featured. PHO, A NOODLE BAR 117 W. Adams St., Downtown, 353-0320, phoanoodlebar.com. Matt Bluejay’s works are on display. ROTUNDA GALLERY St. Johns County Admin. Bldg., 500 San Sebastian View, St. Augustine, 471-9980. An opening reception for the United Way St. Johns County Photographic Exhibit is held 8:15-9 a.m. Aug. 1. The exhibit is on display through Oct. 20. SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY Bank of America Tower, 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 150, Downtown, 438-4358, southlightgallery.com. Photographer Meghna Ailawadhi is the guest artist 5-8 p.m. Aug. 3 and through Sept. 6. Fresh Air: Works Inspired By Nature is on display. ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., St. Augustine, 824-2310, staaa.org. The Seventh Annual Nature & Wildlife Exhibition is on display through Aug. 28.

EVENTS

SOUTHSIDE BUSINESS MEN’S CLUB Lori Boyer, 2016 Council President, Jacksonville City Council is the speaker July 27 at San Jose Country Club, 7529 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 419-3205, $25, sbmcjax.com. JACKSONVILLE SUNS VS. JACKSON GENERALS The Suns take on the Generals 7:05 p.m. July 27 (Date Night, Books & Bats Reading), July 28 (Mavericks Live Thirsty Thursday), and July 29 (Red Shirt Friday, Florida-Georgia), 6:05 p.m. July 30 (Serious Mulletude Night, Randy Johnson Expos Replica Jersey Giveaway), at Bragan Field Baseball Grounds, single game tix $5-$18, 358-2846, jaxsuns.com. Next up: Biloxi Shuckers! GROM FEST Surfers ages 10 and younger learn to surf with the best at the beach at 9 a.m. July 30, south of Jax Beach Pier at 503 First St. N., $10, 626-9090, floridasurfing.org. FARM TO FENDER FESTIVAL The JAXCOT Jax Around the World’s Farm to Fender Festival, with food trucks offering fare and desserts from 40 countries and parts of the regional U.S., along with beer and wine, live music, more than 30 craftspeople and local vendors, and kid-geared activities, is 4-10 p.m. July 30, at SeaWalk Pavilion, First Street, Jax Beach, free for adults; $10 per child, ages 3 and younger free, facebook.com/jaxfoodtruckrally. PUP CRAWL This dog-friendly pub crawl features special drink prices with the purchase of a $5 Friends of Animals in Nassau bandana. All proceeds go toward increasing animal adoptions and funding animal care. 4-7 p.m. July 31 at Green Turtle Tavern, 14 S. Third St.; Florida House Inn, 22 S. Third St.; The Patio Place, 416 Ash St., and Dog Star Tavern, 10 N. Second St. TAI CHI CLASSES Free Tai Chi for Health & Wellness Classes are held 6:30-7:30 a.m. every Tue. and Thur., 200 First St. Courtyard, Neptune Beach, 234-0038. DARWIN & DINOSAURS The Museum of Science & History presents an exhibit with full-size dinosaur skeletons, scientific instruments, original letters, and first editions of Darwin’s main works, through Sept. 5, 1025 Museum Cir., Southbank, 607-9720, themosh.org. SATURDAY NIGHT LIGHTS The Kemetic Empire/UrbanGeoPonics hold Sankofa Saturdays, where youth ages 6-17 explore activities around fundamental concepts of an African-centered-perspective lifestyle, 7-10 p.m. every Sat. through Aug. 8 at Clanzel Brown Park, 4415 Moncrief Rd. W., Northside, 706-284-9808, urbangeoponics.org, thekemeticempire.com. AMELIA RIVER CRUISES Eco-Shrimping, family-friendly sunset, beach creek, Cumberland Island tours, from 1 N. Front St., Fernandina, 261-9972, ameliarivercruises.com. DAILY EVENTS AT HEMMING PARK Free yoga, group fitness, kids’ activities, 117 W. Duval St., Downtown. Live music, food trucks 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Mon.-Fri.; details at hemmingpark.org/hemming-park-events. WEEKLY EVENTS AT UNITY PLAZA Unity Plaza has events including meditation lessons, concerts, festivals, workshops, fitness classes, and more every week, 220 Riverside Ave., 220-5830, unityplaza.org. TRIVIA NIGHT IN ST. AUGUSTINE The Corazon Cinema & Café has Trivia every Wed., 36 Granada St., 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com. ____________________________________________ To list an event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price, contact number to print to Daniel A. Brown – email dbrown@folioweekly.com or mail, 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Items run as space is available. Deadline noon Wed. for next Wed. printing.


FOLIO A+E : MUSIC Philly’s Mannequin Pussy transcend a catchy name making punk rock both AGGRESSIVE AND SINCERE

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ots of bands with outlandish names never waver in their focus on that quirky sense of novelty. That does not describe Mannequin Pussy, whose brand of garage punk skews fierce, loud, and insistent. But it’s also melodic, towering, and emotionally mature, a fact driven home by the title of their upcoming sophomore full-length: Romantic. Folio Weekly Magazine chatted with childhood friends and core Mannequin Pussy duo Marisa Dabice and Thanasi Paul about constant evolution, moving from New York to Philly, and ghost stories that involve dachshund tattoos. That’s what’s up.

the fuck out, that’s the only peace in my life that I ever really get. As long as people enjoy listening to our music, I’ll die a happy man. M.D.: I second that. Thanasi and I making music really came out of needing to both avoid and redirect emotional energy. I wish I could be more communicative about my emotions — it might make me feel like less of a maniac. I’m trying to have conversations with people in my life who are reciprocally willing to express how they’re feeling and being affected by things. The more open you are, the more you come to find that you’re rarely alone in what you’re hiding.

Folio Weekly Magazine: What’s different about Romantic compared to, say, the genrehopping Gypsy Pervert? Thanasi Paul: The process was completely different. The album was written over the course of several years, and once [bassist] Bear [Regisford] joined the band, things started to come together in a more cohesive way. Usually Marisa or I will have a riff or a chord progression or a fully written song and then we all put our special touches on it. But [drummer] Kaleen [Reading] and Bear have made it so much easier for me as a guitarist and as a songwriter — I’m sure Marisa feels the same way. We are truly blessed to have Kaleen and Bear in the band. Marisa Dabice: Seriously. So blessed. I think transcending genres tends to happen when you’re writing songs over a long period of time. It’s impossible to capture one feeling when they come out of so many different experiences instead of a singular one.

The band moved to Philly a few years ago. Do you miss your old New York stomping grounds? M.D.: I don’t miss New York at all. I’m happier in Philly. Without moving here, I would have never been able to figure out a work/creative balance.

There’s a great line from new single “Kiss”: “I am not ashamed to be lonely/but I’m afraid to feel it so deeply.” Is it more or less difficult to embrace that kind of emotion as you get older? M.D.: Both? I spent a lot of my life not knowing how to talk about things. There are still things I’m learning how to talk about. Ask again later? T.P.: I only deal with my emotions through music, which is kind of a problem. But when we’re playing a show and I see people rocking

Is it weird to no longer identify as a “New York band”? M.D.: I don’t think that a city should give a band its “identity” — maybe people thinking it does explains why there are so many shitty bands in New York. I don’t want to be a total hater, though — we had inspiring friends we loved. But there wasn’t much to make me want to stay there. New York is a truly chaotic, problematic, and corrupt place. I recognize the greatness of it, but I think way too critically about everything, so for me it

MANNEQUIN PUSSY, STOVE, THE COSMIC GROOVE

9 p.m. July 30, Shanghai Nobby’s, St. Augustine, $5, facebook.com/shanghai.nobby

T.P.: I miss New York so much. I completely understand why Marisa hated it, and I hated it for a lot of reasons. However, I left a lot of things I really loved when I moved to Philadelphia. Je ne regrets, though — Philadelphia is an amazing city that has welcomed me with open arms. Playing music here is way better and we have sick crowds all the time.

illuminated every problem we have in this country on one tiny island.

Mannequin Pussy has long been hailed as an exhilarating live band. Is it hard to maintain that momentum night after night? M.D.: Some nights, you were just in a car for eight hours and haven’t eaten and you’re so tired setting up your instrument, thinking, “Where the fuck am I gonna get this energy for this?” But then as soon as you start playing, you enter the stream and blackout for 20 minutes. I like to think we’re getting better every time we play. Every show feels different. T.P.: There’s never anything to worry about as long as it’s loud and not boring. Mannequin Pussy played St. Augustine before this show, right? M.D.: We played in St. Augustine on our first tour ever! It was actually the only time I’ve experienced a ghost. All I remember is this kid who had a fresh tattoo of a dachshund on his butt (Shout out to that kid — come to the show!), and the house where we were sleeping had a strange energy to it. I woke up in the middle of the night to the front door getting blown open by the wind and feeling a presence on my chest. It was probably just my first experience with sleep paralysis, but also maybe it was supernatural? Where do you see Mannequin Pussy going, especially after the hype that will surround the October release of Romantic? T.P.: I see MP as being in a constant state of evolution. Where we started is not where we are now, and right now is probably not where we’ll be in a year. Our only goal is to get better at what we do. I want each song we write to be more complicated, more beautiful, and better than the last one. I’d love to play bigger venues for the PA systems, but I’m also content to keep sweating on some kid’s basement floor. We’ve never rushed MP. We just let it go at its own pace. M.D.: And we’re not some trendy bullshit band that’s gonna make two records and call it a career. Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly.com JULY 27 - AUG 2, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25


FOLIO A+E : MUSIC

Delta Spirit frontman Matthew Logan Vasquez OPENS UP about his new solo life

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atthew Logan Vasquez can’t stop. Writing songs, recording multi-track instrumentals, overdubbing vocal harmonies and drum kicks. As the 32-yearold puts it, while nervously drinking iced coffee in his makeshift Texas Hill Country studio, “To sit around and not make music is a non-option for me.” The talking continues — about his wife, Marthe, their son, Thor Ulysses, and Vasquez’s mom’s boyfriend, who graciously lent Matthew his trailer to repurpose into a studio. About the foreclosure in Wimberley that used to be owned by a masseuse that Marthe and Matthew got for a steal. About how this part of Texas, where he spent a big chunk of his childhood, grounds him and keeps him honest. Most of all, Vasquez can’t stop talking about all the twists and turns his career has taken since Delta Spirit, the alt-country/ neo-folk outfit he helped launch in Southern California in 2005, stopped playing together last year. “At our height, we could compromise and collaborate really well, but when you have too many cooks in the kitchen, it can take a really good idea and dull it into an average one,” Vasquez tells Folio Weekly Magazine. “And I just don’t want to do that anymore.” Folio Weekly Magazine: So what’s new, Matthew? Writing a second solo album and touring the rest of the year, right? Matthew Logan Vasquez: That’s right. Me and my band — Jeremy Black, Dustin Lovelis, and Spencer Garland — did a lot of prep leading into the Newport Folk Festival [last weekend]. It will have a lot of guitar — I want to show off that side of my musicianship because I never really have — I’ve always been in a band with a guitar player who’s way better than I am. Now I’m just sitting in [the studio] wailing. I’m also doing songs like “Redfish” that’s about my brother’s imagination of our cousin in their

college years, drinking Texas-style Mexican martinis and fishing and trying to steal money from the gambling table. It sounds like Harry Nilsson’s “Coconut” mixed with an ’80s interpretation of dub reggae. Just total lunacy. Your solo material seems to have a strong sense of personal perspective to it, yet the songs you wrote for Delta Spirit felt more universal. Later stuff like “Yamaha” and “California,” our most popular song, were personal with a lot of generalization. Or the illusion was so broad that it transcends. But [my first solo album] Solicitor Returns was totally defiant. I did the thing everybody said I couldn’t do, and nobody could stop me. I really liked the record because of that. What I’m doing now is going back to just making music for music’s sake. A lot of these songs I wanted to put on a Delta Spirit record, but that just hasn’t panned out because of situations in life: babies, moving, proximity. A lot of the reasons why Delta Spirit is inactive right now are on me and my creative and financial needs. I just want to do what I want to do when I want to do it. Smaller ships can steer quicker. And, in a way, probably end up doing more for your career, right? I’ve never had more fun and made more money for doing less. I’ve also never worked harder and slept less, because of having a baby and all. But it’s such a trip to watch a human grow — it makes you want to do better. Quit smoking, drink less, work out more, save money, buy a house. All that stability stuff has changed my writing. The next album has so many songs about being a dad. So I’m curious what people’s response will be. I made Solicitor Returns with zero direction, and I loved it. This is the first time in a long time that I’ve made a record as a collective thing that will glue it together. There’s MGMT in

“I just want to do what I want to do when I want to do it. SMALLER SHIPS can steer quicker.” MATTHEW LOGAN VASQUEZ, DERIK HULTQUIST

8:30 p.m. July 31, The Original Café Eleven, St. Augustine, $12 advance; $14 at the door, originalcafe11.com

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ON HIS

OWN there, along with weird Van Halen, Beck, and Shins stuff. I was thinking it might sound like Neil Young or a folk-y songwriter record, but I just don’t know how to do that. At the same time, I’m not throwing a lot of paint at the wall — I want there to be space on the record because it’s full of prose and good story songs. That song I was playing when you came in is about a guy from Oklahoma confronting the fact that he grew up with a shitty dad. You can blame that person for why they have such a troubled life, but you eventually realize that you have to own up to your own things. Which is a tough lesson … that I learned.

Are those storytelling impulses stronger now that you’re on your own? No — that part of my gig has always just been about solitude. If I wasn’t doing this now and was instead making a Delta Spirit record, I would have sat alone and made a demo with the same song and story. So it’s a vibe and a feel thing. None of us knew what we wanted when we were younger, and now we all know that we want specific things. Songs like “From Now On” and “Live On” could have been cooler on record, but we nailed them live. And those moments are the reasons why I love Delta Spirit and genuinely want to it to work again. When we’re all present, it’s the real thing. Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly.com


Nashville-based indiesinger-songwriter TRISTA MABRY (pictured) performs with JASIN TODD, BLOOD BATH & BEYOND, and STONE BONE July 30 at Harmonious Monks, Jax Beach.

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK

SPADE McQUADE 6 p.m. July 27, Fionn MacCool’s Irish Pub, Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247. Music by the Sea: The GRAPES of ROTH 7 p.m. July 27, St. Augustine Beach Pier & Pavilion, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., thecivicassociation.org. Bring something to sit on. The FRIGHTS, HUNNY, GYMSHORTS 7 p.m. July 27, 1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St., Downtown, $12. LAYDEN & the LION, NORTHE 8 p.m. July 27, Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $8 advance; $10 day of. CLOUD RAT, CAVE MOTH, YASHIRA, ARMS 8 p.m. July 27, Shanghai Nobby’s, 10 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 547-2188. CANAAN SMITH, TUCKER BEATHARD, AUBREY WOLLETT & SOUTHERN SASS 6 p.m. July 28, Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 353-1188. Concerts in the Plaza: THE DUNEHOPPERS 7 p.m. July 28, Plaza de la Constitución, St. George & King streets, St. Augustine, 825-1004, concertsintheplaza.com. Adult Twilight BYOB Cruises: DAN VOLL, RADIO LOVE 7 p.m. July 28, 29 & 30 from 1 N. Front St., Fernandina, 261-9972; ameliarivercruises.com. TUNNEL VISION, The ELLAMENO BEAT, OCEANSTONE 8 p.m. July 28, Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $8 advance; $10 day of. “3” the BAND 9 p.m. July 28, Flying Iguana, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680. DENNY BLUE 6 p.m. July 29, Hurricane Patty’s Bar & Grill, 69 Lewis Blvd., St. Augustine, 342-7338. LUKE COMBS 7 p.m. July 29, Mavericks Live, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 356-1110, $10. CHILLAKAYA 8 p.m. July 29, Planet Sarbez, 115 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 342-0632. MR. CLIT & the PINK CIGARETTES 8 p.m. July 29, The Headlamp, 818 Clay St., Springfield. RON NORRIS & FRIENDS 9 p.m. July 29, Mardi Gras Sports Bar, 123 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine, 823-8806. BOOGIE FREAKS 9:30 p.m. July 29, Whiskey Jax, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., 634-7208. JAHMEN, KALANI ROSE 10 p.m. July 29, The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 264-0611, $5. FAT CACTUS 10 p.m. July 29 & 30, Flying Iguana. Riverside Arts Market: MORNING YOGA with MARCY KNIGHT (9 a.m.), SAVANNA LEIGH BASSETT, SO YOU THINK YOU

CAN DANCE, LAUREN FINCHAM, NORTHEAST FLORIDA DANCE COALITION, SAHARA SILK & TROUPE TARAB 10:30 a.m. July 30, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449. GIRLS ROCK CAMPER SHOWCASE 3 p.m. July 30, 1904 Music Hall. EMMA MOSELEY BAND, KRISTOPHER JAMES, The CURT TOWNE BAND 6 p.m. July 30, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Backyard Party, A1A S., 209-0367.

RYAN CRARY, BIG ENGINE 7 p.m. July 30, Jacksonville Landing.

Elvis 60th Anniversary Bash: MIKE ALBERT, SCOT BRUCE,

The BIG E BAND 7 p.m. July 30, The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $29.50-$39.50. DOVETONSIL, RUFFIANS, MEREDITH WOODARD, CHRIS BUCK, SCOTT BROUGHTON 7:30 p.m. July 30, 1904 Music Hall, $5 advance; $8 day of., $20 VIP. TRISTA MABRY, JASIN TODD, BLOOD BATH & BEYOND, STONE BONE 8 p.m. July 30, Harmonious Monks, 320 First St. N., Jax Beach, 372-0815, $10-$20. JAIME ATKINS, DIAMOND DIXIE, CLINT DARNELL 8 p.m. July 30, Jack Rabbits, $8 advance; $10 day of. DAVIS TURNER 8 p.m. July 30, Slider’s Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., Fernandina Beach, 277-6652. FFN, The WASTEDIST, SWILL, RUNNING RAMPANT 8 p.m. July 30, The Harbor Tavern, 160 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, 246-2555, $5. MANNEQUIN PUSSY, STOVE, The COSMIC GROOVE 9 p.m. July 30, Shanghai Nobby’s, $5. ROYAL JOHNSON 9 p.m. July 30, Mardi Gras Sports Bar. GO GET GONE 9:30 p.m. July 30, Whiskey Jax. A MATTER of HONOR 10 p.m. July 30, The Roadhouse, $5. NO ZODIAC, INCITED, DWELL, ENGRAVED, CONSEQUENCE, DISDAIN, GUTWRENCH 6:30 p.m. July 31, 1904 Music Hall, $10. GLAZED, GOOD THOUGHTS, SOMETHING BIBLICAL, GOLDEN DEANNA, OBONGO 8 p.m. July 31, Planet Sarbez. ROYAL JOHNSON 6 p.m. July 31, Limelight Theatre, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, 825-1164, $5. DARREN CORLEW 8:30 p.m. July 31, Flying Iguana. MATTHEW LOGAN VAZQUEZ, DERIK HULTQUIST 8:30 p.m. July 31, The Original Café Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311, $12 advance; $14 at the door. KITTY TSUNAMI, The CHICKENHAWKS, STEVEN MARSHEK, SUPERIOR BEACH 9 p.m. July 31, Shanghai Nobby’s, $5. GIRAFFES? GIRAFFES!, TAMBOR, ARMS, THINGUINS 8 p.m. Aug. 1, Jack Rabbits, $8 advance; $10 day of. FAT NIGHT, DIALECTABLE BEATS vs. INFADER, TRICLOPS I 6:30 p.m. Aug. 3, 1904 Music Hall. The WALKING TREE, KEYS & CORRIDORS, FAZE WAVE 8 p.m. Aug. 3, Jack Rabbits, $8.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

DAVID BAZAN, MICHAEL NAU Aug. 4, Jack Rabbits LIL UZI VERT, G-HERBO Aug. 4, The Florida Theatre CHRIS STAPLETON Aug. 4, St. Augustine Amphitheatre J.W. TELLER Aug. 5, The Headlamp The HIPABUCTION Aug. 6, Lynch’s Irish Pub The ACACIA STRAIN, OCEANO, KNOCKED LOOSE, CULTURE KILLER, TO the WIND Aug. 6, 1904 Music Hall BLAIRE HANKS Aug. 6, Mavericks Live

The KICKBACK, HEY ROCCO Aug. 7, Jack Rabbits

21st annual China Cat Sunflower Festival: The OUIJA

BROTHERS, DAVE HENDERSHOTT & FRIENDS, STEVE ALVARADO, PARADOXYMORON Aug. 7, Karpeles Manuscript Library Museum MAXWELL Aug. 7, Times-Union Center CANDACE Aug. 9, The Headlamp Outcry Tour: HILLSONG WORSHIP, KARI JOBE, REND COLLECTIVE, HOUSEFIRES, URBAN RESCUE, CHAD VEACH Aug. 10, Veterans Memorial Arena SLIGHTLY STOOPID, SOJA, FORTUNATE YOUTH Aug. 11, St. Augustine Amphitheatre KENNY & the JETS Aug. 14, The Headlamp RAY LaMONTAGNE Aug. 14, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DAVID LIEBE HART, ELECTRIC WATER, The UNITED TYLERS of TYLER, MR. NEVER & the SCARS Aug. 17, The Headlamp BONEY JAMES Aug. 18, The Florida Theatre SHROUD EATER, DEAD HAND, YASHIRA, SHADOW HUNTER, UNEARTHLY CHILD Aug. 19, Rain Dogs. LYLE LOVETT & HIS LARGE BAND Aug. 20, Florida Theatre TALK SICK BRATS, The MOLD Aug. 24, The Headlamp Sing Out Loud Festival: BRANDI CARLILE, INDIGO GIRLS, BOOKER T. JONES, The TRAVELIN’ McCOURYS, KENNY & the JETS, COLIN HAY, JOEY HARKUM, REV. PEYTON’S BIG DAMN BAND, LUCERO, ADDI & JACQ, JIM & PATTY SPRINGFIELD, CANDLEBOX, COMPLICATED ANIMALS, LONESOME BERT & the SKINNY LIZARDS, The MOUNTAIN GOATS, TIM BARRY, MARCELLUS HALL, SHEA BIRNEY, THIS FRONTIER NEEDS HEROES, WEST KING STRING BAND, JOE ROCCO, The YOUNG STEP, The FREE RANGERS, SHOVELS & ROPE, ROBBIE DAMMIT & the BROKEN STRINGS, NICHOLAS ROBERTS, J. LEE DRISKELL, JACOB HAMILTON, SKIN & BONZ, AMY HENDRICKSON, RIVERNECKS, BAD BOOKS, BOB PATTERSON, DAN ADRIANO, TED LEO, SAM PACETTI, ASLYN & the NAYSAYERS, CORY BRANAN, The WILLOWWACKS, JEREMY ROGERS, FRANK TURNER, HOLOPAW Aug. 26, 27 & 31, Sept. 2, 3, 9 & 10, St. Augustine Amphitheatre, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, St. Augustine Beach, Ponte Vedra, other venues The ORCHESTRA ELO’s Greatest Hits (members of ELO, Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra) Aug. 27, Florida Theatre WAYNE BRADY Aug. 27, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts Kings & Queens of Hip Hop: DMX, TRINA, JUVENILE, BONE THUGS-N-HARMONY, SCARFACE, BIGGA RANKIN, MIKE JONES, KHIA, WAYNE WONDE Aug. 27, Veterans Memorial Arena JILL SCOTT Aug. 28, T-U Center for the Performing Arts GOO GOO DOLLS, COLLECTIVE SOUL, TRIBE SOCIETY Aug. 31, St. Augustine Amphitheatre KENNY G Sept. 1, The Florida Theatre TONY JOE WHITE Sept. 2, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall HEPATAGUA Sept. 5, Shantytown Pub MELVINS Sept. 8, Jack Rabbits

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LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC North Carolina Country artist LUKE COMBS performs July 29 at Mavericks Live, Downtown.

BRIAN WILSON, AL JARDINE, BLONDIE CHAPLIN Sept. 10, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JAKE SHIMABUKURO Sept. 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ZAC BROWN BAND, DRAKE WHITE & the BIG FIRE Sept. 17, Veterans Memorial Arena HELL YEAH Sept. 21, Mavericks Live IL DIVO Sept. 23, The Florida Theatre WIDESPREAD PANIC Sept. 23 & 24, St. Aug Amphitheatre SOFIJA KNEZEVIC Sept. 23, Ritz Theatre

The ANN WILSON THING Sept. 28, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall JONNY LANG Sept. 30, The Florida Theatre SARAH J Ponte Vedra AROSZ, PARKER MILLSAP Sept. 30, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall The DANDY WARHOLS, SAVOY MOTEL Oct. 4, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall GEORGE THOROGOOD & the DESTROYERS Oct. 6, The Florida Theatre KORN, BREAKING BENJAMIN Oct. 12, Vets Memorial Arena

DONNA the BUFFALO, PETER ROWAN BLUEGRASS BAND, BLUEGROUND UNDERGRASS Oct. 13-16, Suwannee Music Park NEEDTOBREATHE, MAT KEARNY, PARACHUTE, WELSHLY ARMS Oct. 13, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Jacksonville Music Fest: MAZE, FRANKIE BEVERLY, JAHEIM, JOE Oct. 14, Veterans Memorial Arena Beaches Oktoberfest: BLUES TRAVELER, COLLIE BUDDZ, The MOVEMENT Oct. 14-16, SeaWalk Pavilion, Jax Beach Live Original Tour: SADIE ROBERTSON Oct. 14, The Florida Theatre 20th annual Magnolia Fest: JJ GREY & MOFRO, KELLER WILLIAMS, The INFAMOUS STRINGDUSTERS, ZACH DEPUTY, BILLY BRAGG, SARAH LEE GUTHRIE, THIS FRONTIER NEEDS HEROES Oct. 15, St. Augustine Amphitheatre BALANCE & COMPOSURE Oct. 16, 1904 Music Hall KIM RICHEY Oct. 16, Café Eleven STEVEN CURTIS CHAPMAN, MAC POWELL, BRANDON HEATH Oct. 16, T-U Center for the Performing Arts MIKE STERN TRIO Oct. 16, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall EDEN, XX Oct. 17, Jack Rabbits THE PSYCHEDELIC FURS Oct. 18, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall KEB’ MO’ BAND Oct. 18, The Florida Theatre JOSH RITTER Oct. 20, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CHASE BRYANT Oct. 20, Mavericks Live LINDSEY STIRLING Oct. 27, The Florida Theatre The AVETT BROTHERS Oct. 28, Veterans Memorial Arena SCOTT BRADLEE’S POSTMODERN JUKEBOX Oct. 16, The Florida Theatre BONNIE RAITT Oct. 29, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DEPARTMENT of CORRECTION, DIE CHOKING Oct. 29, raindogs. LORD ALMIGHTY Nov. 3, Shantytown Pub NF Nov. 3, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall LO CASH Nov. 3, Mavericks Live GHOST, POPESTAR Nov. 4, The Florida Theatre BLAIR CRIMMINS & the HOOKERS Nov. 5, Café Eleven ZZ TOP Nov. 5, St. Augustine Amphitheatre The DOOBIE BROTHERS, The FABULOUS THUNDERBIRDS Nov. 11, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ODD SQUAD LIVE! Nov. 12, The Florida Theatre CHRIS YOUNG, CASSADEE POPE Nov. 12, St. Augustine Amphitheatre TRACY MORGAN Nov. 12, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts WAR Nov. 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall GALACTIC, The HIP ABDUCTION Nov. 17, P.V. Concert Hall SAVION GLOVER Nov. 18, The Florida Theatre YELLOWCARD Nov. 18, Mavericks Live WVRM FEST 4 Nov. 18 & 19, 1904 Music Hall MANNHEIM STEAMROLLER Nov. 21, Times-Union Center ANIMAL COLLECTIVE Nov. 22, Mavericks Live QUEENSRYCHE, ARMORED SAINT Nov. 29, Mavericks Live CALIFORNIA GUITAR TRIO Dec. 1, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PATRICK BARTLEY Dec. 1, Ritz Theatre STANLEY CLARKE Dec. 2, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall A PETER WHITE CHRISTMAS: RICK BRAUN, EUGE GROOVE Dec. 11, The Florida Theatre The OAK RIDGE BOYS Dec. 13, The Florida Theatre GRIFFIN HOUSE Dec. 18, Café Eleven JEANNE ROBERTSON Jan. 21, The Florida Theatre ELVIS LIVES Jan. 24, Times-Union Center KENNY ROGERS, LINDA DAVIS Jan. 28, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts CHRISTIE DASHIELL Feb. 2, Ritz Theatre The BABES Feb. 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SOUTHSIDE JOHNNY & the ASBURY JUKES Feb. 19, The Florida Theatre COLIN HAY Feb. 22, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall JOE BONAMASSA Feb. 22, The Florida Theatre MINDI ABAIR Feb. 23, Ritz Theatre The WEIGHT (with members of The Band) March 3, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall

LIVE MUSIC CLUBS AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA

ALLEY CAT BEER HOUSE, 316 Centre St., 491-1001 Dan Voll 6:30 p.m. July 27 LA MANCHA, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646 Miguel Paley jazz show 5:30-9 p.m. every Fri.-Sun. Javier Parez every Sun. SLIDERS Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652 King Eddie & Pili Pili 6 p.m. July 27. Tad Jennings July 28. 7th Street, DJ Dave July 29. Radio Love, Davis Turner July 30. Down Yonder July 31. Darrell Rae Aug. 1 SURF Restaurant, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Russell Bryant July 27 & 29. Yancy Clegg every Tue. & Thur. Black Jack Band every Fri.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

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CASBAH Café, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free 9 p.m. Tue. & Thur. Indie dance 9 p.m. every Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance every Fri. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns, 388-0200 Live music every Thur.-Sat.


LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC “The King is Gone But He’s Not Forgotten!” The Elvis 60th Anniversary Bash features performances by MIKE ALBERT (pictured) SCOT BRUCE and THE BIG E BAND July 30 at The Florida Theatre, Downtown.

THE BEACHES (All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted)

BLUE TYPHOON, 2309 Beach Blvd., 379-3789 Billy Bowers 5:30 p.m. July 28 BRASS ANCHOR PUB, 2292 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0301 Martini Live, The Dialtones, Craig Black, Joe Oliff July 27 FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & Tequila Bar, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 3 the Band 9 p.m. July 28. Fat Cactus 10 p.m. July 29 & 30. Darren Corlew 8:30 p.m. July 31 GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925 Groov 7:30 p.m. every Wed. Murray Goff 7:30 p.m. every Fri. Under the Bus 7:30 p.m. every Sat. Gene Nordan 6 p.m. Sun. HARBOR TAVERN, 160 Mayport Rd., AB, 246-2555 FFN, Swill, The Wastedist July 30 HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815 Trista Mabry, Jasin Todd, Blood Bath & Beyond, Stone Bone 8 p.m. July 30 LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Tyler Denning Band 10 p.m. July 29. Firewater Tent Revival 10 p.m. July 30 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 Third St. N., 241-5600 S.P.O.R.E. July 28. Lyons July 29 MEZZA RESTAURANT & BAR, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573 Gypsies Ginger every Wed. Mike Shackelford, Steve Shanholtzer every Thur. Mezza Shuffle every Mon. Trevor Tanner every Tue. MONKEY’S UNCLE TAVERN, 1728 N. Third St., 246-1070 DJ Wed., Sat. & Sun. Live music Fri. RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877 Big John July 27. Decoy July 28. Paul Lundgren Band July 29 & 30. Smith & Banks July 31. Live music every Wed.-Sun. SEACHASERS, 831 First St. N., 372-0444 Lip Sync FaceOff: D’Land Entertainment 7 p.m. July 27. Rachel Warfield 8 p.m. July 28. Chris Thomas Band 8 p.m. July 29. N.W. Izzard 8:30 p.m. July 30. Jerico open mic Aug. 1 SLIDERS SEAFOOD GRILLE, 218 First St., NB, 246-0881 Jimmi Mitchell July 30

DOWNTOWN

1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N. The Frights, Hunny, Gym Shorts 7 p.m. July 27. Boysin, Graham Snuggs, Look Mexico July 29. Girls Rock Camper Showcase 3 p.m., Dovetonsil, Ruffians, Meredith Woodard, Chris Buck, Scott Broughton 7:30 p.m. July 30. No Zodiac, Incited, Dwell, Engraved, Consequence, Disdain, Gutwrench 6:30 p.m. July 31. Fat Night, Dialectable Beats vs. Infader, Triclops I 6:30 p.m. Aug. 3 DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 BlackJack Wed. DJ Brandon Thur. DJs spin dance music Fri. DJ NickFresh every Sat. DJ Randall every Mon. DJ Hollywood every Tue. FIONN MacCOOL’S, The Jacksonville Landing, 374-1247 Spade McQuade 6 p.m. July 27. Chuck Nash July 30 HOURGLASS PUB, 345 E. Bay St., 469-1719 Star Search, The IGive July 30. Bay Street Jam every Fri. The JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 Canaan Smith, Tucker Beathard, Aubrey Wollett & Southern Sass 6 p.m. July 28. Ryan Crary, Big Engine 7 p.m. July 30. Ryan Crary 5 p.m., Radio Love 8 p.m. Aug. 3. MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Dr. Doom 10 p.m. every Fri. DJ Shotgun 10 p.m. every Sat. MAVERICKS LIVE, The Jacksonville Landing, 356-1110 Canaan Smith, Tucker Beathard, Aubrey Wollett & Southern Sass 6 p.m. July 28. Ryan Crary, Big Engine 7 p.m. July 30. Ryan Crary 5 p.m., Radio Love 8 p.m. Aug. 3. Joe Buck, DJ Justin every Thur.-Sat. MYTH Nightclub & Bar, 333 E. Bay St., 707-0474 DJs Lady Miaou, Booty Boo, Cry Havoc, Some Dude 9 p.m. for Glitz every Wed. Q45, live music every Wed. EDM every Thur. Eric Rush every Fri. DJ IBay every Sat. Bangarang & Crunchay every Sun.

FLEMING ISLAND

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999 Live music most weekends WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Ivey West July 28. Spanky 9 p.m. July 29. Dirty Pete 9 p.m. July 30

INTRACOASTAL WEST

CLIFF’S BAR, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 Ozone Baby July 29. Live music most weekends JERRY’S Grille, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766 Party Cartel July 29. Vicki Snow July 30

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

The HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael Tue.-Sat. The ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 The Confluent 10 p.m. July 27. DJ Big Mike July 28. Jahmen, Kalani Rose 10 p.m. July 29. A Matter of Honor, Damn Edged 10 p.m. July 30 SHARK CLUB, 714 Park Ave., 215-1557 Digital Skyline 9 p.m. July 27

PONTE VEDRA

PUSSER’S, 816 A1A, 280-7766 Live music most weekends TABLE 1, 330 A1A, 280-5515 Deron Baker 6 p.m. July 27. Gary Starling Jazz Band 7:30 p.m. July 28. Billy Bowers 7:30 p.m. July 29. Latin All Stars July 30

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

SAN MARCO

DERBY ON PARK, 1068 Park St., 379-3343 Live music every weekend MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., 3887807 Instajam16, Brinson Big Fil, T-Strike, Oatmeal, Scarlet Letter Society July 29 RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park, 379-4969 Crunk Witch 7 p.m. July 28 RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449 Savanna Leigh Bassett, So You Think You Can Dance, Lauren Fincham, Northeast Florida Dance Coalition, Sahara Silk & Troupe Tarab 10:30 a.m. July 30

JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Layden & the Lion, Northe 8 p.m. July 27. Tunnel Vision, The Ellameno Beat, Oceanstone 8 p.m. July 28. Jaime Atkins, Diamond Dixie, Clint Darnell 8 p.m. July 30. Giraffes? Giraffes!, Tambor, Arms, Thinguins 8 p.m. Aug. 1. The Walking Tree, Keys & Corridors, Faze Wave 8 p.m. Aug. 3 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Grandpa’s Cough Medicine 7:30 p.m. July 28. Mike Shackelford, Shawn Eager, Roger Bull 7:30 p.m. July 29. Big Band 7:30 p.m. Aug. 1

ST. AUGUSTINE, ST. AUGUSTINE BEACH

MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 997-1955 Charlie Walker 8 p.m July 28. Mark O’Quinn July 30 WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., 634-7208 Boogie Freaks 9:30 p.m. July 29. Go Get Gone 9:30 p.m. July 30. Melissa Smith’s open mic every Thur. Blues jam every Sun. Live music every weekend WORLD OF BEER, 9700 Deer Lake Ct., 551-5929 Chilly Rhino 9 p.m. July 29. WAS Band 9 p.m. July 30

CAFE ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311 Matthew Logan Vasquez, Derik Hultquist 8:30 p.m. July 31 HURRICANE PATTY’S BAR & GRILL, 69 Lewis Blvd., 342-7338 Denny Blue 6 p.m. July 29 MARDI GRAS, 123 San Marco Ave., 823-8806 Ron Norris & Friends 9 p.m. July 29. Royal Johnson 9 p.m. July 30. Fre Gordon open mic July 31. DJ Rob St. John every Wed. Live music Fri. & Sat. PLANET SARBEZ, 115 Anastasia Blvd., 342-0632 Chillakaya 8 p.m. July 29. Glazed, Something Biblical, Good Thoughts, Golden Deanna 7 p.m. July 31 SHANGHAI NOBBY’S, 10 Anastasia Blvd., 547-2188 Cloud Rat, Cave Moth, Arms, Yashira 8 p.m. July 27. Mannequin Pussy, Stove & the Cosmic Groove 9 p.m. July 30. Kitty Tsunami, The Chickenhawks, Steven Marshek, Superior Beach 9 p.m. July 31 TRADEWINDS LOUNGE, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Lisa & the Madhatters 9 p.m. July 29 & 30. Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat.

SOUTHSIDE, BAYMEADOWS

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

THE HEADLAMP, 818 Clay St. Mr. Clit & the Pink Cigarettes 8 p.m. July 29 SHANTYTOWN PUB, 22 W. Sixth St., 798-8222 Live music every weekend

___________________________ To list your band’s gig, please send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price, and a contact number to print to Daniel A. Brown, email dbrown@ folioweekly.com or by the U.S. Postal Service, 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Events run on a space-available basis. Deadline is at noon every Wednesday for the next Wednesday’s publication.

JULY 27 - AUG 2, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 29


FOLIO DINING AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH

BEACH DINER, 2006 S. Eighth St., 310-3750, beachdiner. com. Newest in the popular local chain. Innovative breakfast: Eggs on the Bayou, fish-n-grits; French toast, riders, omelets. Lunch fare: salads, burgers, sandwiches, shrimp & crabmeat salad. $ K TO B L Daily BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F Southern hospitality, upscale waterfront spot; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB L D Daily BURLINGAME RESTAURANT, 20 S. Fifth St., 432-7671, burlingamerestaurant.com. The menu at the fine dining place changes quarterly, focusing on elegantly prepared dishes (8 apps, 8 mains) made with quality seasonal ingredients. Duck confit, grilled pork chops. $$$ BW D Tu-Sa CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo. com. F Family-owned; historic building. Veggie burgers, seafood, made-from-scratch dressings, sauces, desserts. Dine in or on oak-shaded patio. Karibrew Pub next door. $$ FB K TO R, Su; L Daily, D Tu-Su in season CHEZ LEZAN BAKERY CO., 1014 Atlantic Ave., 491-4663, chezlezanbakery.com. Fresh European-style breads, pastries: croissants, muffins, cakes, pies. $ TO B R L Daily The CRAB TRAP, 31 N. Second St., 261-4749, ameliacrab trap.com. F 37 years, family-owned-and-operated. Fresh local seafood, steaks, specials. HH. $$ FB L D Daily ELIZABETH POINTE Lodge, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabethpointelodge.com. Award-winning B&B. Seaside dining, inside or out. Hot buffet breakfast daily. Homestyle soups, sandwiches, desserts. $$$ BW B L D Daily GILBERT’S Underground Kitchen, 510 S. Eighth St., 310-6374, undergroundkitchen.com. Chef Kenny Gilbert

and savory pastries, cookies, cakes, bagels, breads; made from scratch. $ TO B L W-Su The PICNIC BASKET, 503-A Centre St., 277-9779, picnic basketfernandina.com. Small shop focuses on fresh fare, cheeses, confits, charcuteries, wines. $$ BW B L D M-Sa PI INFINITE COMBINATIONS, 19 S. Third St., 432-8535, piinfinitecombinations.com. All bar service, NYC-style. Specialty pizzas, pie/slice, toppings: truffle mushrooms, little neck clams, eggs, shrimp. Courtyard. $$ BW TO L D Tu-Sa The SALTY PELICAN Bar & Grill, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. 2nd-story outdoor bar. Owners T.J. & Al offer local seafood, fish tacos, Mayport shrimp, po’boys, cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily The SAVORY MARKET, 474380 E. S.R. 200, 432-8551. Local, organic produce, wild-caught seafood – Mayport shrimp – Wainwright meats, raw dairy, deli. Café has salads, hand-helds, tacos. $$ TO M-Sa SLIDERS Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F Oceanfront. Crabcakes, fried pickles, fresh seafood. Open-air 2nd floor, balcony. $$ FB K L D Daily T-RAY’S Burger Station, 202 S. Eighth St., 261-6310. F 2015 BOJ winner. Family-owned-and-operated 18+ years. Blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L M-Sa

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1301 Monument Rd., Ste. 5, 724-5802. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

FLORIDA CREAMERY, 3566 St. Johns Ave., 619-5386. Ice cream, waffle cones, milkshakes, sundaes, Nathan’s hot

BITE-SIZED Chomp Chomp PINT-SIZED Ballpark Brews GRILL ME! Brew 5 Points CHEFFED-UP Yeast

P. 31 P. 32 P. 32 P. 33

traditional, vegetarian; curries, noodles. Low-sodium, gluten-free, too. Open kitchen. $$$ BW TO L D Tu-Su The WELL WATERING HOLE, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9, 737-7740, thewellwateringhole.com. Local craft beers, glass/bottle wines. Meatloaf sandwich, pulled Peruvian chicken, vegan black bean burgers. HH. $$ BW L M-F; D Tu-Sa ZESTY INDIA, 8358 Point Meadows Dr., 329-3676, zesty india.com. Chefs blend Asian methodology with European template. Tandoori lamb chops, rosemary tikka. Vegetarian items cooked apart in vegetable oil. Lunch platters. $ BW TO L D Tu-Su

BEACHES

(Venues are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 2490002, alspizza.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. New York-style gourmet pizzas, baked dishes 28+ years. All-day HH M-Thu. $ FB K TO L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 2400 S. Third St., Ste. 201, boldbeancoffee.com. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001, europeanstreet.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & Tequila Bar, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 F 2015 BOJ winner. Latin American, tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana fare. 100+ tequilas. $ FB L D Daily GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925, gustojax.com. Classic Old World Roman cuisine, large Italian menu: homestyle pasta, beef, chicken, fish delicacies; open pizza-tossing kitchen. Reservations encouraged. $$ FB TO D Nightly HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815. American-style steakhouse, filets, gourmet burgers, ribs, wraps, sandwiches. $$ FB K L D M-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 657 Third St. N., 247-9620. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 1018 Third St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600, mellowmushroom.com. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. Hoagies, gourmet pizzas: Mighty Meaty, vegetarian, Kosmic Karma. 35 tap beers. Nonstop HH. $ BW K TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 1534 Third St. N., 853-6817. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO.

Discover a hidden gem on Sixth Avenue South in Jax Beach when you visit Parsons Seafood for fresh Mayport catches, friendly service and a fun, family atmosphere. photo by Dennis Ho (Top Chef) serves Deep Southern American cuisine. Dine inside or on a patio. $$ BW K TO L F; D W-Sa & M; R Su HOLA CUBAN CAFÉ, 117 Centre St., 321-0163, holacuban cafe.com. F Behind Palace Saloon; owned by real Cubans; authentic sandwiches, coffee. Dine in or out at umbrella tables. $$ FB K TO R, Su; L D Daily HORIZONS, 5472 First Coast Hwy., 321-2430, horizons ameliaisland.com. Fine dining, upscale setting. Gourmet fare, seafood, steaks, lamb, pasta. $$$ FB L D Tu-Sa JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddian escafe.com. F 1887 shotgun house. Jambalaya, French toast, mac-n-cheese, crêpes, vegan/vegetarian. Dine in or on a porch. $$ FB K B L D Daily La MANCHA, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646. Spanish, Portuguese fare, Brazilian flair. Tapas, seafood, steaks, sangria. Drink specials. AYCE paella Sunday. $$$ FB K TO D Nightly MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moonriver pizza.net. F 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic Northern-style pizzas, 20+ toppings, pie or slice. $ BW TO L D M-Sa The MUSTARD SEED CAFÉ, 833 Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Casual organic eatery, juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, herbal tea, daily specials. $$ TO B L M-Sa PABLO’S Mexican Restaurant Grill & Cantina, 12 N. Second St., 261-0049. Chicken, carnes, fajitas, burritos, tacos, daily specials, vegetarian. $$ FB K TO L D Daily The PECAN ROLL BAKERY, 122 S. Eighth St., 491-9815, thepecanrollbakery.com. F Near historic district. Sweet To list your restaurant, call your account manager or Sam Taylor, 860-2465 • staylor@folioweekly.com

DINING DIRECTORY KEY

AVERAGE ENTRÉE • COST •

$ = Less than $10 $$ = $10- $20 $$$ = $20- $35 $$$$ = $35 & up BW = Beer/Wine FB = Full Bar K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch L = Lunch D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted free FW Bite Club event. fwbiteclub.com 2015 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot

30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 27 - AUG 2, 2016

dogs. Low-fat, sugar-free choices. $ K TO L D Daily HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, harpoonlouies.net. F Locally owned & operated 20+ years. American pub. 1/2-lb. burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta. Local beers, HH. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. PINEGROVE MARKET & DELI, 1511 PineGrove Ave., 389-8655, pinegrovemarket.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. 40+ years. Burgers, Cubans, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher cuts USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. $ BW TO B L D M-Sa RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaur antorsay.com. 2015 BOJ winner. French/Southern bistro; local organic ingredients. Steak frites, mussels, pork chops. Snail of Approval. $$$ FB R, Su; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simply saras.net. F Down-home fare from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D M-Sa, B Sa

BAYMEADOWS

AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

INDIA’S Restaurant, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajax.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetables, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L M-Sa; D Nightly LARRY’S Subs, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9, 737-7740. 8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., 425-9142. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO.

MINT Indian Restaurant, 8490 Baymeadows, 367-1821, jaxmint.com. Authentic, traditional Indian cuisine. Daily lunch buffet; HH. $ L D Daily NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 11030 Baymeadows Rd., 260-2791. SEE MANDARIN. PATTAYA THAI Grille, 9551 Baymeadows Rd., 646-9506, ptgrille.com. Family-owned 26+ years; serving new Thai,

MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573, mezzarestaurantandbar.com. F Near-the-ocean 20+ years. Casual bistro fare: gourmet wood-fired pizzas, nightly specials. Dine in, patio. $$$ FB K D M-Sa MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636, mojobbq.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Pulled pork, beef, chicken, Carolina-style, sides. $$ FB K TO L D Daily M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-2599, mshack burgers.com. 2015 BOJ winner. David and Matthew Medure flip burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes. Dine in or out – people-watch at Beaches Town Center. $$ BW L D Daily NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 1585 Third St. N., 458-1390. SEE BAYMEADOWS. POE’S TAVERN, 363 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7637, poes tavern.com. Gastropub, 50+ beers, gourmet burgers, handcut fries, fish tacos, Edgar’s Drunken Chili, daily fish sandwich special. $$ FB K L D Daily RAGTIME TAVERN & SEAFOOD GRILL, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F 30+ years, iconic seafood place. Blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily HH. $$ FB L D Daily SEACHASERS, 831 First St. N., 372-0444, seachasers.com. New place; four areas: First Street Bar, Music Room, Beach Bar, Dining Room. Daily HH. In or on patio. $$ FB L D Daily SLIDERS Seafood Grille & Oyster Bar, 218 First St., NB, 246-0881, slidersseafoodgrille.com. Beach-casual spot. Faves: Fresh fish tacos, gumbo. Key lime pie, ice cream sandwiches. $$ FB K L Sa/Su; D Nightly SNEAKERS SPORTS GRILLE, 111 Beach Blvd., 482-1000, sneakerssportsgrille.com. 2015 BOJ winner. 20+ tap beers, TVs. HH M-F. $ FB K L D Daily UGLY CUPCAKE MUFFINRY & Cafe, 115 Fifth Ave. S., 339-5214, theuglycupcakemuffinry.com. Sweet/ savory giant muffins, made from organic, locally sourced ingredients. Outside seating. $$ TO B L Daily V PIZZA, 528 First St. N., 853-6633, vpizza.com. Traditional Neapolitana pizza, a rare class of artisan pizza from Naples – Italy, not Florida. $$ FB TO L D Daily

DOWNTOWN

AKEL’S DELICATESSSEN, 21 W. Church St., 665-7324, akelsdeli.com. 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 125, 446-3119. F New York-style deli. Fresh subs, specialty sandwiches, burgers, gyros, wraps, desserts, vegetarian items. $ TO B L M-F The CANDY APPLE CAFÉ & COCKTAILS, 400 N. Hogan St., 353-9717, thecandyapplecafe.com. Chef-driven cuisine, sandwiches, entrées, salads. HH Tu-F $$ FB K D Tu-Sa CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth St., 356-8282. F Chef Sam Hamidi serves Italian fare, 40+ years: veal, seafood, gourmet pizza. Homemade salad dressing. $ BW K L M-F; D M-Sa FIONN MacCOOL’S Irish Pub & Restaurant, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1547, fionnmacs.com. Casual dining, uptown Irish atmosphere; fish & chips, Guinness lamb stew, blackand-tan brownies. $$ FB K L D Daily FOLKFOOD, 219 N. Hogan St., 333-8392 Southern specialties, coastal cuisine. Fried catfish, Florida citrus kale salad, blackened mahi mahi tacos, meatloaf with curry sauce, desserts made in-house daily. $ BW TO L D M-F INDOCHINE, 21 E. Adams St., Ste. 200, 598-5303, indo chinejax.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Thai, Southeast Asian cuisine. Signature dishes are chicken Satay, soft shell crab; mango, sticky rice dessert. $$ FB TO L D M-F; D Tu-Sa


FOLIO DINING : BITE-SIZED

SECOND

photo by Brentley Stead

HELPING

Chomp Chomp’s move didn’t sacrifice its TASTY SWAGGER enjoyed them yet, do it soon — these chips have WORKING DOWNTOWN, I WAS SAD TO SEE CHOMP CHOMP leave the neighborhood, but its earned a place of honor in the Jax food scene. spacious new location (only 10 minutes away) Chomp Chomp pays plenty of attention to will have you applauding the move. several other sides. The French fries and pasta The menu hasn’t changed much, and salad are totally worth the extra $1.25. The the dishes still rock Chomp Style. The cooks here make French fries the way you’d Philadelphia Experiment ($8.50) is piled high make French fries at home ... if you knew what with slightly sweet, tender pork and a creamy you were doing. They’re chunky potato wedges sauce with a little bit of a kick to it, over a with lovely granules of salt. bed of spicy arugula. The bread here is worth Now here’s where I get a little evangelical. noting — it’s a fresh baguette that revs the Chomp’s pasta salad makes every limp, sandwich into high gear. mayonnaise-y pasta salad you’ve suffered from The Pork Banh Mi ($8.50) — my underdog at family functions as a child seem like the choice — was a surprise. greatest insults to the CHOMP CHOMP Pork can be unmanageable culinary world (at the 4162 Herschel St., Avondale, in a sandwich unless it’s moment; next week it’ll be 762-4667, Facebook.com/pages/ shredded, but Chomp coleslaw or something). I Chomp-Chomp-20/544050682434107 must have some serious mean, really. I have been blades passed down from openly aggressive about ninja warrior to ninja warrior, because the my distaste for pasta salad in the past, but thin-yet-hearty strips of pork were the perfect Chomp has made me change my mind. Why thickness for the bread surrounding it — you is it so good there? For starters, the perfectly could definitely get your mouth around a cooked pasta has real flavor, with a lovely garlic manageable bite. aroma. Next, slices of carrots, diced peppers The Come Up ($8.50) features a great big, and onions add a nice textural crunch. Our juicy portabella mushroom, one veggie I will pasta salad just happened to accompany the always want. The Chomp version is in round Come Up. Some toasted almonds joined the bun, slathered with smoky sauce, chunky pasta salad party, adding another level of green tomato salsa and toasted almonds. It’s crunch that tasted like it was on purpose. not often you see green tomatoes in a dish With lots more room to spread out, a great unless they’re fried, but the firmer texture of staff — I mean really lovely people — and the the ones here worked really well. same quality Chomp fare, you can’t go wrong A few (really, just a few) words about the when you grab a beer and hang out on the sides offered at Chomp. First, you can never go patio at Chomp Chomp 2.0. wrong with their famous Curry Chomp Chips Brentley Stead that accompany most items. If you haven’t biteclub@folioweekly.com JULY 27 - AUG 2, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 31


DINING DIRECTORY PINT-SIZED

THE BALLPARK

BREWS

Tracing the history of quaffing cold beers at BASEBALL GAMES THE HE GAMEE O OFF BA BASE BASEBALL SEBA SE BALL BA LL IIS S ST STE STEEPED EEPE EE PED ED IN nostalgia. Every crack of a bat on a ball evokes memories of sluggers from the past like Babe Ruth, Hank Aaron and Lou Gehrig. The cheers of the crowd mingles with the smell of popcorn and hotdogs. Perhaps the most important part of the experience are the vendors shouting, “Getcher cold beer here!” Beer and baseball are taken for granted today. The beverage is so much a part of the game, its absence would throw off the balance of the universe. But the love affair between beer and baseball wasn’t always so hot. When it debuted in 1876, the National League didn’t want beer in its ballparks. It took the American Association to bring suds to the stands. Upon its 1882 debut, the AA realized baseball appealed to blue-collar folks and upper crust snobs. To draw more working-class people to games, the AA lowered ticket prices, scheduled Sunday games and sold alcohol in the parks. This approach appealed to the marketing gurus at breweries so much, they backed many of the teams. When the AA folded after the 1891 season, its players were absorbed by the NL and, because of its popularity, alcohol sales became the norm in ballparks across America. One of the earliest instances of a team embracing beer in the ballpark involves the St. Louis Brown Stockings. The team, later known as the Cardinals, was owned by Christian Friedrich Wilhelm von der Ahe, a saloon owner who noticed his bar business increased on game days. So von der Ahe, surmising that spectators would likely enjoy a few brews during a game, installed a beer garden at the team’s home field, Sportsman’s Park. It was a hit. Over the years, beer has advanced to be inextricably associated with the national pastime. Breweries saw the popularity of baseball and began marketing campaigns capitalizing on the sport. In 1941, Falstaff Brewing Corporation began sponsoring Dizzy Dean’s radio broadcasts of Browns games and, 30 years later, sponsored Harry Caray’s “Holy cow!” broadcasts. Brewers also got in on the action and began partnering with local baseball teams, forging deals to become the official beers of teams and stadiums. In New York, the Yankees were associated with Ballantine Beer – the team’s first television sponsor – and the Mets sidled up to Rheingold Beer. Beer was so popular in baseball that Milwaukee, a bastion of German beer production, named their team the Brewers. Over time, the big beer producers were almost synonymous with baseball. Today, with the craft beer revolution in full swing, ballparks are adding locally brewed beers to the lineup. In Jacksonville, our minor league Suns team serves several local brews from Intuition Ale Works, Bold City and others, as well as a selection of craft beers from other brewers. Sitting in the stands, watching the heroes of the diamond gracefully make plays, would just not be complete without a hot dog in one hand and a cold beer in the other. It may be the most perfect way to spend a balmy summer evening – and perhaps the most American thing you can do.

PINT-SIZED

Marc Wisdom marc@folioweekly.com 32 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 27 - AUG 2, 2016

OLIO MARKET, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com. F From-scratch soups, sandwiches. Duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L M-F; D F URBAN GRIND Coffee Company, 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 102, 866-395-3954, 516-7799, urbangrind.coffee. Locally roasted whole bean brewed coffees, espressos, pastries, smoothies, bagels, cream cheeses. Chicken salad (best ever), tuna salad, sandwiches. Free Wi-Fi. $ B L M-F URBAN GRIND EXPRESS, 50 W. Laura, 516-7799. SEE ABOVE. ZODIAC Bar & Grill, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283, thezodiac barandgrill.com. 16+ years. Mediterranean cuisine, American fare, paninis, vegetarian dishes. Daily lunch buffet. Espressos, hookahs. HH W-Sa $ FB L M-F

FLEMING ISLAND

GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 1915 East-West Parkway, 541-0009. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ. SEE BEACHES. TAPS Bar & Grill, 1605 C.R. 220, Ste. 145, 278-9421, tapspublichouse.com. 50+ premium domestic, imported tap beers. Burgers, sandwiches, entrées. $$ FB K L D Daily WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteys fishcamp.com. F Real fish camp. Gator tail, freshwater catfish, daily specials, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar. Come by boat, bike or car. $ FB K TO L Tu-Su; D Nightly

points.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Local craft beer, espresso, coffee, wine. Rotating drafts, 75+ can craft beers; sodas, tea. Waffles, toasts, desserts, coffees. HH. $$ B L Su/M; B L D Tu-Sa COOL MOOSE CAFÉ, 2708 Park St., 381-4242, coolmoose cafe.net. New England-style café; full breakfast menu, classic sandwiches, wraps, soups, brunch all day Sunday. Gourmet coffees. $$ BW R L D Tu-Su CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412, cornertaco.com. Made-from-scratch “Mexclectic street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free, vegetarian options. $ BW L D Tu-Su DERBY on PARK, 1068 Park St., 379-3343. New American cuisine, upscale retro in historic landmark building. Shrimp & grits, lobster bites, 10-oz. gourmet burger. Dine inside or out. $$-$$$ FB B L D Tu-Su, R Sa/Su EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 2753 Park St., 384-9999. 2015 BOJ winner. 130+ import beers, 20 on tap. Sandwiches. Outside dining at some EStreets. $ BW K L D Daily GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 2007 Park St., 3844474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Juice bar uses certified organic fruits, vegetables.

GRILL ME!

F 2015 BOJ winner. Now dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. ONE TWENTY THREE Burger House, 123 King St., 687-2790. From Carmelo’s owners. Premium burgers, made with beef from NYC butcher Schweid & Sons. Wood-fired pizzas, ice cream bar, Old World milkshakes. $$ BW K TO L D Daily

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

BASIL Thai & Sushi, 1004 Hendricks Ave., 674-0190, basilthaijax.com. F Authentic Pad Thai, curry, tempura, vegetarian, seafood, stir-fry, specials. HH. $$ FB L D M-Sa BISTRO AIX, 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox. com. F Mediterranean/French inspired; steak frites, oak-fired pizza, raw bar, seasonal selections. HH M-F $$$ FB L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 1704 San Marco, 398-9500. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. $ BW K L D Daily FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusionsushijax.com. F Upscale sushi spot serves fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu. $$ K L D Daily INDOCHINE, 1974 San Marco Blvd., 503-7013. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE DOWNTOWN.

KITCHEN on San Marco, 1402 San Marco, 396-2344,

MICHAEL RICCI BREW 5 POINTS

INTRACOASTAL WEST

1024 Park St., 5 Points

AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

BORN IN: Torrington, Connecticut

LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980. F SEE ORANGE PARK. ORANGE TREE Hot Dogs, 3500 Beach, Ste. 43, 551-3661, orangetreehotdogs.com. Hot dogs, personal size pizzas since ’68. Hershey’s ice cream, milkshakes. $ K TO L D Daily SID & LINDA’S SEAFOOD MARKET & Restaurant, 12220 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 109, 503-8276. Pick your own whole fresh fish, have it cleaned, filleted, cooked to order. Dine in, take out. Housemade sauces. $$ K TO L D Daily

YEARS IN THE BIZ: 5

FAVE RESTAURANT (besides mine): Orsay on Park Street FAVE CUISINE STYLE: Italian FAVE INGREDIENTS: Coffees IDEAL MEAL: Spaghetti and meatballs WON'T CROSS MY LIPS: Maxwell House coffee INSIDER'S SECRET: Drink more espresso!

MANDARIN, NW ST. JOHNS

CELEBS (@ my place): Malcolm Gladwell

AKEL’S DELI, 12926 Granbay Pkwy. W., 880-2008. F

TASTE TREAT: Lobster risotto

SEE DOWNTOWN.

AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199. F 20+ years. Dolmades (stuffed grape leaves), baby shoes (stuffed eggplant). Greek beers. $$ BW L D M-F; D Sa FIRST COAST Deli & Grill, 6082 St. Augustine Rd., 733-7477. Pancakes, bacon, sandwiches, burgers, wings. $ K TO B L Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 11362 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 3, 674-2945. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F 2015 BOJ winner. Now dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. F Organic soups, baked items, sandwiches, prepared foods. Juice, smoothie,coffee bar. All-natural, organic beers, wines. Indoor, outdoor dining. $ BW TO K B L D Daily TAPS Bar & Grill, 2220 C.R. 210 W., Ste. 314, 819-1554. SEE FLEMING ISLAND.

V PIZZA, 12601 San Jose Blvd., 647-9424. SEE SAN MARCO.

ORANGE PARK

The HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959, hilltop-club. com. Southern-style fine dining. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. Extensive bourbon selection. $$$ FB D Tu-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 165, 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 15, 272-3553. 5733 Roosevelt Blvd., 446-9500. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove, 284-7789, larryssubs.com. F All over the area, Larry’s piles ’em high, serves ’em fast; 33+ years. Hot & cold subs, soups. Some Larry’s serve breakfast. $ K TO B L D Daily METRO DINER, 2034 Kingsley Ave., 375-8548. F 2015 BOJ winner. Now dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. PASTA MARKET Italian Restaurant & Clam Bar, 1930 Kingsley Ave., 276-9551, pastamarketitalianrestaurant. com. Family-owned-and-operated. Gourmet pizzas, veal, chicken, mussels, shrimp, grouper. Spaghetti, lasagna, fettuccine, ziti, calzones, linguini, tortellini. $$ BW K D Nightly SNACSHACK, 179 College Dr., Ste. 19, 682-7622, snac shack.menu. F Bakery and café; bagels, muffins, breads, cookies, brownies, snack treats. $$ K BW TO B L D Daily The URBAN BEAN Coffeehouse Café, 2023 Park Ave., 541-4938, theurbanbeancoffeehouse.com. Coffee, espresso, sandwiches, flatbreads, apps. $$ K TO B L D Daily

PONTE VEDRA BEACH

AL’S Pizza, 635 A1A, 543-1494. F 2015 BOJ. SEE BEACHES. LARRY’S Subs, 830 A1A N., Ste. 6, 273-3993. F SEE O. PARK.

RIVERSIDE, 5 PTS, WESTSIDE

13 GYPSIES, 887 Stockton St., 389-0330, 13gypsies.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic Mediterranean peasant cuisine updated for Americans; tapas, blackened octopus, risotto of the day, coconut mango curry chicken. $$ BW L D Tu-Sa AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., Ste. 201, 388-8384. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

BLACK SHEEP Restaurant, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, blacksheep5points.com. New American, Southern; local source ingredients. Rooftop bar. $$$ FB R Sa/Su; L D Daily BOLD BEAN Coffee Roasters, 869 Stockton St., Stes. 1/2, 855-1181, boldbeancoffee.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Small-batch, artisanal approach to sourcing and roasting single-origin, direct-trade coffees. Signature blends, handcrafted syrups, espressos, craft beers. $ BW TO B L Daily BREW Five Points, 1024 Park St., 714-3402, brewfive

Artisanal cheeses, more than 300 craft, imported beers, 50 organic wines, and organic produce, meats, vitamins, herbs. Organic wraps, sides, sandwiches. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS Asian Street Fare, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic dishes from mobile stalls. $ BW TO L D Daily HOBNOB, 220 Riverside Ave., Ste. 110, 513-4272, hobnobwithus.com. New place serves cuisine driven by global inspirations, local intentions – ahi poke tuna, jumbo lump crab tacos. $$ FB TO L D Brunch Daily IL DESCO, 2665 Park St., 290-6711, ildescojax.com. Modern, authentic Italian cuisine. Handcrafted cocktails. $$-$$$ FB TO K L D Daily JOHNNY’S DELI & GRILLE, 474 Riverside Ave., 356-8055. F Casual; made-to-order sandwiches, wraps, salads, breakfast. $ TO B L M-Sa KNEAD BAKESHOP, 1173 Edgewood Ave. S., 634-7617. Locally-owned, family-run shop specializing in made-fromscratch creations – classic pastries, artisan breads, savory pies, specialty sandwiches, soups. $ TO B L Tue.-Sun. LARRY’S Subs, 1509 Margaret, 674-2794. 7895 Normandy, 781-7600. 8102 Blanding, 779-1933. F SEE ORANGE PARK. LITTLE JOE’S CAFÉ by Akel, 245 Riverside Ave., Ste. 195, 791-3336. Riverview café serves soups, salads, signature salad dressings. $ TO B L M-F METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., 999-4600. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO.

MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. MOSSFIRE GRILL, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434, mossfire.com. F Southwestern fish tacos, chicken enchiladas. HH M-Sa upstairs, all day Su $$ FB K L D Daily M SHACK, 1012 Margaret St., 423-1283. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

PATTAYA Thai Grille, 1526 King, 503-4060. SEE BAYMEADOWS. RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969. 2015 BOJ winner. Local-centric fare and bar food. $ D SOUTHERN ROOTS Filling Station, 1275 King St., 513-4726, southernrootsjax.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Healthy, light vegan fare; local, organic ingredients. Specials, on bread, local greens or rice, change daily. Coffees, teas. $ Tu-Su SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside, Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushi cafejax.com. F Monster, Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll. Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. $$ BW L D Daily TIMOTI’S Seafood Shak, 1043 Park, 374-8892. SEE AMELIA.

ST. AUGUSTINE

AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F 2015 BOJ

winner. SEE BEACHES.

The FLORIDIAN, 72 Spanish St., 829-0655, thefloridian staug.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Updated Southern fare. Vegetarian, gluten-free. Fried green tomato bruschetta; grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D W-M GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F Local mainstay 25+ years. Varied menu changes twice daily. Signature dish: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. $$ FB R Su; L D Daily MARDI GRAS Sports Bar, 123 San Marco Ave., 347-3288, mardibar.com. Wings, nachos, shrimp, chicken, Phillys, sliders, soft pretzels. $$ FB TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. METRO DINER, 1000 S. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 758-3323.

kitchenonsanmarco.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Local, national

craft beers, specialty cocktails. A seasonal menu, with fresh, locally sourced ingredients. $$ FB R Su; L D Daily METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metro diner.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Original upscale diner. Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, soups. This Metro serves dinner nightly. $$ B R L Daily PIZZA PALACE, 1959 San Marco Blvd., 399-8815, pizza palacejax.com. F Family-owned-&-operated; spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, ravioli, lasagna. Dine outside. HH. $$ BW K TO L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco Blvd., 398-3005, tavernasan marco.com. Chef Sam Efron’s authentic Italian; local produce, meats, tapas, wod-fired pizza. Craft beers & cocktails. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily V PIZZA, 1406 Hendricks Ave., 527-1511, vpizza.com. True Neapolitana pizzas with the freshest ingredients. They claim a 55-second cook time – put them to the test. $$ FB L D Daily

SOUTHSIDE, TINSELTOWN

ALHAMBRA THEATRE & DINING, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. USA’s longest-running dinner theater; Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus. Reservations. $$ FB D Tu-Su The CHATTY CRAB, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138C, 888-0639, chattycrab.com. Chef Dana Pollard’s raw oysters, Nawlins-style low country boil, po’ boys, 50¢ wing specials. $$ FB K TO L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717.

2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE.

GREEK STREET CAFÉ, 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Ste. 106, 503-0620, greekstreetcafe.com. Fresh, authentic, modern fare; Greek owners. Gyros, spanakopita, dolmades, falafel, salads, Greek nachos. $$ BW K TO L D M-Sa LARRY’S Subs, 3611 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F SEE ORANGE PARK. MARIANAS GRINDS, 11380 Beach Blvd., Ste. 10, 206-612-6596. Pacific Islander fare, emphasizing chamorro culture. Soups, stews, fitada, beef oxtail, katden pika; spicy empanadas, lumpia, chicken relaguen, BBQstyle ribs, chicken. $$ TO B L D Tu-Su MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

MOXIE KITCHEN + Cocktails, 4972 Big Island Dr., 998-9744, moxiefl.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Chef Tom Gray’s venue has innovative contemporary American cuisine – seafood, steaks, pork, burgers, sides, desserts – using locally sourced ingredients when possible. $$$ FB K L M-F; D Nightly M SHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Br. Dr., 900-7730, ovinte.com. 2015 BOJ winner. European-style; Italy, Spain, Mediter-

ranean flavor. Small plates, entrée-size portions, charcuterie menu. 240-bottle/wines, 75/glass; craft spirits. $$ FB R, Su; D Nightly RITA’S DELI, 9446 Philips Hwy., 806-3923. Sandwiches of Boar’s Head meats, cheeses. $$ BW TO L D M-Sa TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Ct., 854-0426, taverna yamas.com. F Bite Club. Char-broiled kabobs, seafood, wines, desserts. Daily HH. Bellydancing. $$ FB K TO L D Daily TOMMY’S Brick Oven Pizza, 4160 Southside Blvd., Ste. 2, 565-1999, tbopizza.com. NY-style thin crust, brickoven-cooked pizzas – gluten-free. Calzones, sandwiches,


DINING DIRECTORY Thumann’s no-MSG meats, Grande cheeses. Boylan’s soda. Curbside pickup. $$ BW K TO L D M-Sa TOSSGREEN, 4375 Southside, Ste. 12, 619-4356. 4668 Town Crossing, Ste. 105, 686-0234. Custom burrito bowls; fresh fruit, veggies, 100% natural chicken, sirloin, shrimp, tofu, cheese, dressing, salsa, frozen yogurt. $$ K L D Daily

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

HOLA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1001 N. Main St., 3563100, holamexicanrestaurant.com. F Authentic fajitas,

burritos, specials, enchiladas, more. HH; sangria. BW K TO L D M-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 12001 Lem Turner Rd., 764-9999. SEE ORANGE PARK.

MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 15170 Max Leggett Pkwy., 757-8843. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MOLLY BROWN’S Pub & Grill, 2467 Faye Rd., 683-5044, mollybrownspubandgrill.com. F Traditional American fare, brunch, burgers, diner fare, hot dogs, sandwiches, seafood, Southern, vegetarian dishes. $$ FB TO L D Daily

THE BREAD RISES IN

CHEFFED-UP

THE YEAST

Don’t be afraid of a little YEAST-RESURRECTION WHY ARE SO MANY PEOPLE INTIMIDATED by basic yeast-risen doughs? Is it because making them requires time, patience, and special equipment? I think not! The real reason is yeast. Yeast is a living organism people utilize to lighten flour-based doughs. As the yeast breathes, it releases carbon dioxide in the form of bubbles. These bubbles create pockets in the dough, causing it to rise, giving yeast breads their light, airy texture. The three most critical things to consider when making yeast doughs are: 1. Chef Bill is always right, 2. Yeast needs to eat, and 3. Salt kills yeast.

Always be aware of the 90˚F to 100˚F temperature zone. This is where the yeast will continue to thrive and cause the dough to rise. One last thing to remember: If your dough doesn’t rise, there’s no fixing it. Just suck it up and try again. Here’s a fairly simple Italian breadstick recipe to try.

CHEF BILL’S GRISSINI Ingredients: • 1 cup milk • 4 tsps. active dry yeast • 1 tbsp. sugar • 3 cups bread flour • 3 tbsp. butter, softened • 1 tbsp. salt • 4 tbsp. olive oil

CHEFFED-UP

Yeast exists in three basic types: fresh, instant, and active dry. Each type does the same thing but they cannot be substituted in a one-to-one ratio. I always stick to recipes that call for active dry yeast. This yeast, available at most grocery stores, gives the dough a pleasing yeasty fragrance as it rises and bakes (much more than instant yeast does). When using active dry yeast, the first step is to activate it. What we’re truly doing here is resuscitating the yeast. We’re bringing it back from a long sleep. The yeast is actually in suspended animation — how cool is that? Mad science! To activate, heat a liquid (water or milk) to the life-giving temperature of 90˚F to 100˚F. Be careful here, because yeast dies at 120˚F. Then add sugar by gently dissolving it in the warmed liquid. Finally, stir the measured amount of yeast into the same liquid. Now the magic begins. The yeast will slowly dissolve; as it does, it will form bubbles. After five to 10 minutes, a raft of bubbles will form on the top of the bowl (if no raft forms, dump the stuff and start again). This raft is an indication that the yeast is now alive and breathing. Once you’ve resurrected the yeast, mix it into your flour.

Directions: 1. Warm milk to 90˚F. Add the yeast 1. and sugar. Let stand until frothy. In a 1. mixer, add the butter, flour, salt and 1. oil. Mix with a dough hook until a 1. ball forms. 2. Turn out onto a floured surface and 1. knead until smooth and elastic. 3. Place in an oiled bowl, cover and proof 1. until doubled, about one hour. 4. Turn out on a floured surface, pat 1. down, cut into five equal pieces. 5. Roll each piece into a 10-inch square, 1. one-third-inch thick. 6. Use a pizza wheel to cut into one-third1. inch strips. Place on parchment paper, 1. spray with olive oil, sprinkle with salt 1. and parmesan. 7. Bake at 400˚F for about 12 minutes. 1. Turn halfway through. Until we cook again,

Chef Bill cheffedup@folioweekly.com ____________________________________ Contact Chef Bill Thompson, owner of Amelia Island Culinary Academy in Historic Fernandina Beach, with your recipes or questions at cheffedup@folioweekly.

JULY 27 - AUG 2, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 33


PETS LOOKIN’ FOR LOVE FOLIO

W E E K LY

FOLIO LIVING

PET

LOVERS’

GUIDE

DEAR DAVI

THE RIGHT

MOVES

Walks with your best furry friend offer EXERCISE AND BONDING

Dear Davi, My human wants to change her routine and increase our weekly walks together — I’m piddling with anticipation. How can we mark our miles and make a difference? Doug the Pug Doug, Take it from me — a hound who gets around — walking is more than just a way to exercise. It’s a way to get outdoors, sniff your surroundings, and socialize with dogs and people outside your home. Walking not only keeps your mind active — and out of trouble — it gets your blood flowing, your heart pumping and the calories burning. It even aids in getting the digestive system moving, which is great if you’re experiencing any, ahem, backup. The real treat is spending time with your human and building a trusting relationship. We depend on our humans to take us out to explore the sights, smells, and sounds of the world. Walking together each day or at least several times a week helps strengthen this bond and build a balanced, healthy and happy life together. Even if you’re fired up and eager to go, it’s a good idea to start slowly, especially if you’re out of shape or there’s extreme weather. Aim for 30-minute walks, three times a week. After you get comfortable with short excursions, step up your game and increase the number of walks or the time spent walking. It’s also a good idea to vary places you walk as much as possible. I’ve discovered a few parks around town perfect for a short stroll: BOONE PARK, 3700 Park St., Riverside Smack in the middle of Historic Avondale, it’s got paved paths that wind in and around the park — almost a half-mile loop. There are water fountains and poop bags, plus shady benches and grassy patches to rest after a walk. LOSCO REGIONAL PARK, 10931 Hood Rd. S., Mandarin In the middle of a busy area,

there’s a scenic trail that wraps around the wooded park and water fountains and places to sit along the way. BLUE CYPRESS PARK, 4012 University Blvd. N., Arlington In Arlington on the St. Johns River, with a riverfront boardwalk and two miles of trails that lace through the park. Bring plenty of water and poop bags. TIP: Track daily walks and log miles by downloading an activity app. I use MapMyDogwalk to record my routes. It’s free and easy. If you really want to make every step count, take a walk for a dog. Let me explain: Walk for a Dog is an app with a purpose. Every time you walk, a donation is made to your favorite animal shelter or rescue organization — I walk for DARE, Dachshund Adoption & Rescue Education. Every walk counts, whether it’s around the block or a three-mile hike. The more walks you take, the more you help donate. Cool, right? It’s available for both Apple and Android and it’s FREE. Grab a leash and put your best paw forward, no matter your fitness level. Let’s get moving! Davi mail@folioweekly.com ____________________________________

Davi the Dachshund isn’t a personal trainer but he has been known to strut.

PET TIP: HOLOCAUST BROUGHT TO YOU BY CATS SPECIES COLLAPSE IS REAL AND YOUR CAT IS THE CAUSE. It’s no great secret that cats are sleek, slinking killing machines with the attention span of a sugared-up 8-year-old on Halloween night. But did you know that your pretty kitty is a harbinger of death and destruction for wildlife? The Washington Post reported in 2013 that outdoor cats kill between 1.4 and 3.7 billion birds and between 6.9 and 20.7 billion mammals every year – making cats the leading cause of death among birds and mammals in the United States. So do the responsible thing: keep Meowly Cyrus and Anderson Pooper inside.

34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 27 - AUG 2, 2016


PET EVENTS KATZ 4 KEEPS ADOPTION EVENT • Cat adoptions are held from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Saturday, July 30 and Sunday, July 31 at 935B A1A N., Ponte Vedra, 834-3223, katz4keeps.org. Adoptions are held every weekend in July, August and September.

ADOPTABLES

.

DAVID

HUNK OF THE MONTH • Hey, there! My name is David and I’m the resident ridiculously good-looking pup around here. There are three things I need in life: tennis balls, a comfy bed, and YOU! I am house-trained and I like other dogs, but no kitties, please. Let’s do this thing! Come meet me at JHS, 8464 Beach Blvd., open 7 days a week! FEEDINGS & TOURS • Catty Shack’s night feedings are open to the public most Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays, and daytime tours most Thursdays at 1860 Starratt Rd., Northside, 7573603, cattyshack.org. For details, times and fees, check the website. PET THERAPY CLASS • The class, covering handling and command skills, is held 9-10 a.m. Aug. 1 at Nassau Humane Society, 176 Airport Rd., Fernandina, $90, 352-7631, dogtrainerpamela.com.

ADOPTABLES

DENNIS

NEVER A MENACE • Hi, friends! I’m Dennis, and there is nothing menacing about me! I’d love to be your friend, and nap next to you on the couch. I current live at JHS in the big room with other cats, so if you already have a feline companion, I won’t mind. Will you consider adopting me? Come meet me at JHS and learn how to adopt at jaxhumane.org! FIRST COAST NO MORE HOMELESS PETS VIP TOUR • FCNMHP offers a tour of its facilities 11:30 a.m. Aug. 18 at 6817 Norwood Ave., Jacksonville; for reservations, call 520-7901, fcnmhp.org. VACCINATION CLINICS • VetCo offers lower-cost vaccination services at PetCo stores in the area. Upcoming events are held Sunday, Aug. 7; 2-3 p.m. at 11900 Atlantic Blvd., 997-8441; and 4-5 p.m. at 950 Marsh Landing Parkway, Jax Beach, 273-0964; vetcoclinics.com. ______________________________________ To list a pet event, send event name, time, date, location (complete street address and city), admission price, contact number/website to print, to mdryden@folioweekly.com – at least two weeks before the event. JULY 27 - AUG 2, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35


FREEWILL ASTROLOGY

DALE RATERMANN’s Crossword presented by

SAN MARCO 2044 San Marco Blvd. 398-9741

PONTE VEDRA

THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA

330 A1A North 280-1202

GOOD LUCK, DITCH DIGGING, YOUR INNER CHILD & MAORI BELIEFS

SOUTHSIDE

AVONDALE 3617 St. Johns Ave. 10300 Southside Blvd. 388-5406 394-1390 AVENUES MALL

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1 Accessory for Whitey’s crabs 5 Current event 9 Eschew 14 Farm unit 15 Birth of a notion 16 Enter the NFL draft 17 Atlantic (3 times) 20 Gossip girl 21 “Comin’ thro’ the ” Teen spots 22 23 Ostentatious 26 Lightning org. 28 Suns stick 31 Toothpaste tube DOWN letters Doula’s focus 1 32 Nutritional abbr. 2 Frozen treat 33 Ryder Cup team 3 Chez Lezan 36 High on muffin stuff 38 Vogue rival 4 Spinoffs 40 Romeo: “What 5 Twitch, minus through yonder every other letter window breaks?” 6 Veiled consent 42 Florida 7 Honey substitute (3 times) 8 Piece of cake 45 Take away 46 Reedy instrument 9 Long time follower 47 Skirt or van Outspoken 10 48 Short, for short 11 Barrel org. 49 Market index

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43 Spruce up 44 “Until the next drop falls” Table spread 50 52 Ship deck 54 Not in vogue Kid was a 55 “ friend of mine” 56 Taj 57 A bit cracked 58 Indira’s wrap 59 I problems 61 Lady’s man 63 A kind of list 64 Dead 65 Where EVER means EverBank 67 Buddhist way 68 Sail off course 69 Hotmail’s ISP

Solution to 7.20.16 Puzzle A T D A W N

R A R I N

H O O R A Y

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D U M B D O W N

O P T I O N A L

D R P I A D A V A R Y S E H R H I N O V E E S S S C P A C O M H O O E R S

A T N O I S H L O T N O I N T O O I L M D C C

V W B A U E S S S D A O W Z E E D

A L I D H I R R O L E Y N L A D O E D O J T Y C O P O O K Y R I U S E L S E P T T S A O A E T N A O U B L E D S R A B M E A T A R Y M S S

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Free your body. Don’t ruminate and agonize about it. Be brave and forceful. Do it simply and easily. Free your gorgeously imperfect, wildly intelligent body. Allow it to be itself in all its glory. Tell it you’re ready to learn more of its secrets and adore its mysteries. Be in awe of its unfathomable power to endlessly carry out the millions of chemical reactions that keep you alive and thriving. How can you not be overwhelmed with gratitude for your hungry, curious, unpredictable body? Be grateful for its magic. Love the blessings it bestows. Celebrate its fierce animal elegance. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The people of many cultures have imagined the sun god as possessing masculine qualities. But in some traditions, the Mighty Father is incomplete without the revitalizing energies of the Divine Mother. The Maoris believe that every night the solar deity has to marinate in her nourishing uterine bath, or he wouldn’t be strong enough to rise in the morning. How does this apply to you? You currently have resemblances to the weary old sun as it dips below the horizon. It’s time to recharge your powers through an extended immersion in deep, dark waters of primal feminine. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): An Interesting Opportunity is definitely in your vicinity. It may slink tantalizingly close in the days ahead, even whisper your name from afar. I doubt it’ll knock on your door. It probably won’t call you on the phone, flash a big smile or send an engraved invitation. Stay alert for the Interesting Opportunity’s unobtrusive behavior. It could be a bit shy, secretive or modest. Once you notice it, you may have to come on strong — you know, talk to it sweetly or ply it with treats. CANCER (June 21-July 22): [Editor’s note: The counsel offered in this oracle was channeled from the Goddess by Rob. If you have any problems with it, direct protests to the Queen Wow, not Rob.] Time to get more earthy and practical about practicing high ideals and spiritual values. Translate your loftiest intentions into your most intimate behavior. Ask yourself, “How does Goddess want me to respond when my co-worker pisses me off?”, or “How would Goddess like me to brush my teeth and watch TV and make love?” For extra credit, get a T-shirt that says, “Goddess was my co-pilot, but we crash-landed in the wilderness and I was forced to eat her.” LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Be alert for white feathers gliding on the wind. Before eating potato chips, examine each one to see if it looks like Rihanna or the Virgin Mary. Keep an eye out for portents like robots wearing dreadlocked wigs, antique gold buttons in the gutter or senior citizens cursing at invisible Martians. The appearance of anomalies like these will be omens suggesting you’ll soon receive crazy good fortune. But if you’d rather not wait for chance events to trigger good luck, simply make it your fierce intention to generate it. Use your optimism-fueled willpower and flair for creative improvisation. You’ll have abundant access to these talents in the next few weeks. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You’ve just begun your big test. How are you doing so far? According to my analysis, preliminary signs suggest you have a good chance of proving the old maxim, “If it doesn’t make you so crazy that you put your clothes on inside-out and try to kiss the sky until you cry, it will help you win one of your biggest arguments with Life.” We’ll see you undergo at least one miraculous, certifiably melodramatic transformation. A wart on your attitude could dissolve, for example. A luminous visitation may heal a blind spot. You might find a satisfactory substitute for kissing the sky.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): For years, I was a “starving artist.” I focused on improving my skills as a writer and musician, even though I rarely earned money with them. To ensure my survival, I worked as little as necessary at low-end jobs -- scrubbing dishes at restaurants, digging ditches, delivering newspapers in the middle of the night, and volunteering for medical experiments. During the long hours spent doing tasks that meant little to me, I worked hard to remain upbeat. One trick that helped was imagining future scenes when I’d be engaged in exciting creative work that paid a decent wage. It took a while, but eventually those visions materialized in my actual life. Try this strategy in the months ahead. Harness your mind’s eye to generate the destiny you want. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You have every right to celebrate your own personal Independence Day sometime soon. In fact, given the current astrological omens, you’d be justified in embarking on a full-scale emancipation spree in the coming weeks. It will be prime time to seize more freedom and declare more autonomy and build more self-sufficiency. Here’s an important nuance to the work you have ahead of you: Make sure you escape the tyranny of not just the people and institutions that limit your sovereignty, but also the voices in your own head that tend to hinder your flow. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Of all the forbidden fruits you fantasize about, which is your favorite? Among the intriguing places you consider outside your comfort zone, which might inspire you to redefine the meaning of “comfort”? The next few weeks will be a good time to reconfigure your relationship with these potential catalysts. And while on the frontier dreaming of fun experiments, you might want to flirt with other wild cards and strange attractors. Life is in the mood to tickle you with useful surprises. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You have a special talent for accessing wise innocence. In some ways you’re virginal, fresh, and raw, and in other ways you’re mature, seasoned, and welldeveloped. See this not as a confusing paradox but an exotic strength. With your inner child and inner mentor working in tandem, you could accomplish heroic feats of healing. Their brilliant collaboration could also lead to mending of an old rift. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “Where is everybody when I need them?” Even if you haven’t actually spoken those words recently, I’m guessing voices in your head have whispered them. That complaint will soon be irrelevant. It won’t match reality. Your allies will start offering more help and resources. They may not be conscientious in figuring out how to be of service, but they’ll be fairly good. Here’s what will encourage optimal results: 1. Purge your low, outmoded expectations. 2. Open your mind and heart to the possibility that people can change. 3. Humbly ask — out loud, not just in the privacy of your imagination — for precisely what you want. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Millions of Pisceans less fortunate than you won’t read this horoscope. Uninformed about the rocky patch of Yellow Brick Road that lies ahead, they may blow a gasket or get a flat tire. You, on the other hand, will benefit from my oracular foreshadowing, and my inside connections with the Lords of Funky Karma. You will therefore be likely to drive with relaxed caution, keeping your vehicle unmarred in the process. Although you may not arrive speedily at the next leg of your trip, you’ll do so safely and in style.

Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com


NEWS OF THE WEIRD UNEASY RIDER

A 28-year-old woman, unnamed in news reports, veered off the road and into a house in the Florida panhandle town of Mary Esther on July 7. She apparently was not influenced by drugs or alcohol, but explained to police she must have gone through a stop sign and left the road when she closed her eyes to pray as she drove.

CHUMP CHANGE

In May, Transportation Security Administration announced it had collected $765,000 in loose change left behind in airport scanner trays during 2015 — an average “haul” of $2,100 a day (assuming that TSA personnel turn in all of the money they find). Los Angeles and Miami airports contributed $106,000 of the total.

ITTY BITTY MACHINE

Scientists at the University of Cambridge, writing in May in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, claimed to have figured out how to construct a “motor” a “million times” smaller than an ant. It apparently involves lasers, gold particles and “van der Waals forces.” The object is to bind the gold particles, then cause them to automatically “snap” apart with, according to author Jeremy Baumberg, “10 to a hundred times more force per unit than any known other machine.”

PAY UP OR DIE

In April, CEO Michael Pearson told a Senate committee he “regret[s]” the business model he instituted in 2015 for Valeant Pharmaceuticals — one that allowed a drug (Cuprimine) that treats liver failure and formerly cost a typical user out-of-pocket about $3 a pill (120 per month, $366) to, overnight, cost the user $15 a pill. The insurance company’s and Medicare’s cost went from about $5,000 per 100 tablets to $26,000 overnight. A Deutsche Bank analysis of the industry tallied Valeant’s all-drug average price spike at more than five times the average of any competitor’s. Pearson told the senators he had no idea such a pricing strategy would turn out to be so controversial.

TOO PICKLED TO THINK

Mark Herron, 49, of Sunderland, England, was arrested in May — his 448th arrest on alcohol-related charges. The year started “well” for Herron, with only 14 collars through March, and he cleaned up briefly before a “family bereavement” sent him spiraling downward again. His current lawyer admitted his client has been in court more often than he himself has.

GOTTA BE WORTH SOMETHING

Austrian Hans Heiland vowed in June to assist a needy family in Oberholz by donating to a charity fundraiser sponsored by the local fire department. He has been collecting bottle tops through the years and figures he could sell his “treasure” now, as scrap metal, to help the family. He has at least 10 million caps, weighing “several tons.”

I SEE BUNKO IN YOUR FUTURE

In May, the federal government finally shut down a long-running international scam that had sold psychic assurances (prosperity! winning lottery numbers!) to more than a million Americans. In personalized form letters, two French psychics had guaranteed success and riches to clients if they bought their $50 books (and massive upselling usually followed). The Justice Department estimated that the sellers earned upward of $180 million on at least 56 million pieces of postal mail.

LET ME PUT YOU ON HOLD

In a June verdict still reverberating through the telemarketing industry, a jury in Utah found three companies run by Forrest Baker III had illegally made 99 million phone calls to consumers on the Do Not Call Registry and an additional 18 million calls telling people they were merely doing surveys when the purpose was hawking family-friendly movies. Both charges are violations of the Federal Trade Commission’s Telemarketing Sales Rule. Though the total fine and damages have not been decided, the law provides that the most serious offenders could be assessed $16,000 per phone call (for a maximum of almost $1.9 trillion). Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net

No left or right swipe here – you can actually use REAL WORDS to find a REAL LOVE! Folio Weekly Magazine can help you connect with that surfer hunk you almost talked to at the Young Vegan Professionals meet-up, or that gum-crackin’ goddess at Target who “accidentally” dropped a jasmine-scented kazoo in your cart.

Go to folioweekly.com/i-saw-u.html, fill out the FREE form correctly by 5 p.m. Friday (for the next Wednesday’s FWM) – next stop: Bliss!

(40 words or fewer, dammit)

DO YOU SEEK UNIQUE? You: Beautiful brunette, Walmart sugar aisle, beautiful arm ink work; said you got it in Riverside. Me: Dark chocolate gentleman, captivated by smile, breathless looking into beautiful eyes. Too shy to get number. Meet for lunch? When: July 16. Where: Walmart Avenues. #1622-0720 HANDSOME, KIND GENTLEMAN ISU Saturday about 1 a.m. You: Extremely handsome, cool hat, T-shirt, jeans; forgot wallet; complimented my white dress. Me: Long blond hair, green eyes, too shy to ask name or if unattached. Love to meet formally! When: July 17. Where: Walmart San Jose. #1621-0720 WE ARE READY FOR U You: Handsome man following, watching me, saying hi, calling, hanging up before u speak. Me: Want to hear your heart. My dog and condo await. Don’t be afraid. Everything will be OK. We love you. When: 2012. Where: Neighborhood. #1620-0720 AVONDALE ANGEL Me: Down on my luck, no place to go. You: Beautiful person who kept me from sleeping on the street. Thank you for your generosity for someone you didn’t even know! You’ll never ever be forgotten! When: June 16. Where: Avondale shops. #1619-0706 COOPER’S HAWK NICE SMILE WAITER You weren’t our waiter last Thursday 6/16; served us before. Name starts with G. Cute, dark blond hair, warm personality. Me: Brunette, curly hair, navy blue dress. You noticed us in booth. A drink, conversation? Contact. When: June 16. Where: Cooper’s Hawk Winery Towncenter. #1618-0622 CORGI GIRL Your smile’s radiant. How you synchronize those long legs in immense contrast with your pups is marvelous. I’m grateful, mostly handsome, longing to please. Love to join you and poochie for evening stroll along the river. XOXO. When: June 10. Where: Riverside. #1617-0622 TRADE PORSCHE FOR BEACH CRUISER? Drawn to your fit physique, adored biceps as you chilled with friend! You complimented my Porsche. Offered to trade it for your cruiser. Didn’t ask for number. WOD together on next bring-a-friend day?! When: 4 p.m. June 5. Where: Zeta Brewing bicycle stand. #1616-0622 VYSTAR LOAN OFFICER You: Beautiful blue-eyed, curly blond hair, rockin’ all black outfit, accent colored shirt. Me: Trying to get a loan. Made conversation to keep process going. Second Wednesday in June. Didn’t get loan; might’ve found so much more! When: June 8. Where: Vystar. #1615-0622 YOU’RE IN MY THOUGHTS There’s still not a day I don’t think of you. Since the first time ISU while sitting in that car, I can’t shake thoughts of you. Live long. Love hard. I will. When: Feb. 2, 2016. Where: Neighborhood. #1614-0622 JOIN YOUR SWIM TEAM Me: Attractive in two-piece bathing suit. You: Swimming; American flag tat on arm, making me hot as you chilled in the pool. Really want to skinny dip with you. ;) When: June 3. Where: Greentree Place Apts. Pool. #1613-0622

FRIDAY BIKE-TO-WORK DAY You: Blue jeans, black tank top, red Motobecane bicycle, great smile. Didn’t get a chance to get your name. Me: Doing the bike thing. Are you up for a ride? When: May 20. Where: Hemming Plaza. #1612-0608 HANDSOME EDUCATED HARLEY RIDER We instantly hit it off talking. I tried to quickly give you my number. I was on a blind date that was NOT meant to be. I’d like to have a chance to continue our conversation. When: May 22. Where: River City Brewing Co. #1611-0608 DANCIN’ IN THE STREETS CUTIE You: Short, big white hat, gorgeous eyes, with friend outside bookstore. Me: Sunglasses, tan, wanted to flirt. We locked eyes. I got brave, you were gone – kicking myself since. Won’t hesitate again. Share a dance? When: May 21. Where: Atlantic Beach Dancin’ Festival. #1610-0525 BIRDIES BLUE-EYED BRUNETTE Beautiful day. You: Porch sitting with friends. Me: Walking dog down strip. We caught eyes. Couldn’t tell if you knew me or wanted to; we couldn’t look away. Hope next time it’s more than an awkward stare. When: May 15. Where: Birdies. #1609-0525 COMEDY ZONE Goldberg lookalike, Comedy Zone May 27, admiring each other while waiting with friends. Me: Hot brunette in black tank top and jeans. When: May 27. Where: Comedy Zone. #1608-0525 DRIVE-THRU WINDOW PRINCESS Porsche, Prius; whatever I drive; at drive-thru window, you drive me crazy! Curious: Are pretty smile, friendly remarks more than sales-driven? Clarify over coffee? You get my name right. Will heed your advice: Come by more often. When: May 9. Where: St. Johns Town Ctr. fast-food drive-thru. #1607-0525 RED SCOOTER MISFIT Little red scooter. You: Dark, mysterious, flying through Five Points on a little red Honda Spree. Me: Black dress, circle shades. Have my babies. <3. When: Every day. Where: Five Points. #1606-0518 PASSED YOU AT LUNCH Me: Going to lunch, bright teal dress shirt, said hello. You: Walking other way; very pretty young lady, flowery top, blonde hair, said howdy. Exchanged glances; looked back, you were gone. I should have said something. When: May 4. Where: Devry University Concourse Café. #1605-0511 BEAUTIFUL WEST VIRGINIAN You: Tan BBW, three mixed kids, WVU tank top, American flag tattoo on back. Me: Overall cutoffs, American flag tattoo on neck, Gator T-shirt. You offered snuff. Nervous, I refused. Like to dip in you in my single-wide. When: April 8. Where: Collins Road Trailer Park. #1604-0413 MY TRAILER PARK QUEEN Me: Long hair, tats, white shirt, sippin’ a Bud Lite with my pops. You: Prego, kid on each hip, also drinking a Bud Lite, puffin’ a Winston. Let’s get drunk; lemme put another one in the oven. When: April 3. Where: Ramona Flea Market Beer Garden. #1603-0406 ACCIDENTALLY PUBLIC MAKEOUT You: Adorably nerdy guy, incredible hands. Me: Petite (younger) fashionista, completely enchanted. Made-out like teenagers in Starbucks parking lot before realizing patio full of people could see. I’d do it again without changing a thing! When: March 20. Where: Starbucks. #1602-0330 JULY 27 - AUG 2, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37


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FOLIO VOICES : BACKPAGE EDITORIAL

CUTTING THE CABLE

JUST GOT WEIRD

These days, RABBIT EARS channel some seriously strange content ARE YOU A CABLE CUTTER? HAVE YOU GROWN a huge beard, donned a “man bun” and shunned the modern broadcast conveniences of “the man” in exchange for hip and cheap innovations like Hulu, Roku and Netflix, all while nursing your local craft beer during taco Tuesday? If so, then you may or may not have discovered that “over the air” TV (see: free) in Jax can get … weird. How weird? Read on, hipster. Recently, I decided to “cut the cable” and get rid of our satellite TV service. Why? Satellite is expensive and the amount of TV my family watches is not worth the cost. I must have repeated the phrase, “I don’t watch that much TV,” to the customer service rep about 100 times because they do not make it easy to cancel. I’m still getting “we want you back” junk mail from them and suspect I will even after I’m dead. During this process, I did some research into alternatives and discovered that I could get most of the local channels with an HDTV antenna. So, in addition to relying on apps like Hulu, Amazon and Netflix, I am able to catch the local news and Jaguar games (both of which are wildly depressing), and catch everything else at my own convenience while saving money. Huzzah. The antenna itself is ugly but you get used to it. It’s about as big as a laptop but thin and it sticks to the wall. It works pretty well as long as the weather cooperates, but your proximity to the TV station matters. It’s a little strange, but you get used to not being able to pause or rewind TV any more. I’m halfway tempted to hook up a VCR and “tape” shows again … kidding. Maybe. I get the major networks, the Spanish language ones and the Jesus channels (see: Pastor Arnold Murray cyborg), and your experience will vary on reception, but be warned: It gets weird — WQXT in St. Augustine, for example. WQXT, channel 28.2 (which on my TV is just 22-8), has no title and no other identifier other than A1A TV. From Wikipedia, WQXT is described as: “A Class A low-powered television station in St. Augustine, Florida, with studios in St. Augustine’s tallest building, Cathedral Place, in the heart of the historic district. Its broadcast footprint covers from Jacksonville to Palm Coast.” WQXT carries both Retro TV and PBJ, both of which are national networks that have social media accounts. The picture quality is absolutely terrible but that kind of adds to the whole “retro” feel. They will sometimes have no sound and one time I watched in

amazement as a mouse pointer floated across the screen and clicked on a file folder and then a Windows media file began to play a show. Broadcasting is complicated in 2016. In the morning, they show “classic” cartoons. Great, right? How classic, you ask? Well, there’s Porky Pig, Daffy Duck, Popeye … and a bunch of black people drawn as racist caricatures, complete with huge eyes, enormous lips and spears, singing and dancing … wait, what? Maybe it’s an oversight, right? Nope. There’s another one. And another … there are cute little African savages, singing and dancing with bones in their noses and followed by another one with “savage injuns” whooping it up for the camera. Holy crap. There’s a name for these kinds of cartoons: minstrel shows. They were banned a long time ago. Why on earth would a modern TV station show these? Why, in St. Augustine of all places, where the Civil Rights Movement, though hidden, was ugly and prominent, would they show this – and to kids? Adding insult to injury, WQXT features local ads. Mostly you get stuff like poorly done ads for a car dealership or a pizza place, but frequently you get things like an advertisement for the “complete collection of Amos ‘n’ Andy” on DVD, complete with the shucking and jiving and, “Holy Mackerel, Kingfish!” I changed the channel and felt weird about my newfound predicament. Do other

people know about this? Why is no one saying anything? It’s weird, right? Who knew? And you can spare me the “stop being so PC!” responses because I am not in favor of censorship or banning anything; I loathe today’s PC Gestapo culture. As a publisher, I’m a huge advocate of the first amendment but I do feel that this is bizarre to say the least. Are there no regulations for tiny broadcast stations? Do tiny local TV stations in the nation’s “Oldest City” have any ethics? Did the King and Queen of Spain order the Amos ‘n’ Andy DVDs when they came to town? Who is doing the programming down at WQXT? I say all of this, here in 2016, when we’re getting daily doses of two extremes: brainwashed people screaming for things to be strictly PC and other brainwashed people screaming for things to be anything but PC. This is a strange time to be alive. UHF this is not. WQXT lacks the charm of Stanley Spadowski’s Clubhouse, nor the hilarity of the Spatula City ads found in Weird Al’s spoof of small band TV stations. The other night, I watched an ad featuring Nazis. It was a mixture of old footage of Nazis marching, Hitler yelling and gesticulating, huge swastikas and giant, misspelled words on a bright red background declaring that Hitler and Stalin once took away guns from the public. Gasp! The ad asks: DOES THAT SOUND FAMILIAR!? DOES THAT SOUND LIKE ANY CURRENT POLITICIAN THAT YOU KNOW TODAY?! PROTECT THE SECOND AMENDMENT! DON’T LET THE NAZIS TAKE YOUR GUNS! And it goes on like that for a solid five minutes before you get back to your minstrel cartoons. Weeeeiiiiirrd. I’ve never seen anything quite like WQXT and I think it’s bizarre that it continues on like it does with absolutely no explanation for its offensive and kooky format. It doesn’t even wear a toupee. I’m sure there’s a reason this channel shows racist cartoons and Hitler ads but damned if I can find one. There’s not much info about the station itself other than a few snippets about it carrying RetroTV, which is based in Tennessee. It’s kinda funny, considering the national discourse on race is like a daily tire fire, that here on the home front we only need tune in to the local programming to revisit the “good ol’ days.” Make AmeriDUH grate again, yeah? I have to wonder just how many kids are watching these things, thinking it’s normal. I have no desire to mend the cut cable and empty my wallet for 3,000 channels of nothing again but I also have no desire to support businesses that push quackery and bigotry and Hitler ads with bad grammar. We may very well be experiencing the DEVOlutuion of the species on all fronts, and at an alarming rate, but that doesn’t mean we have to subject ourselves to it willingly, folks. Take a deep breath, put the phone down and change the channel. Sarlos Cantana mail@folioweekly.com ___________________ Cantana is an independent publisher and author living in Northeast Florida.

JULY 27 - AUG 2, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 39



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