10/21/16 BEST of JAX 2016: The SEQUEL

2 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 4, 2016

SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 4, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 3

THIS WEEK // 9.28-10.4.16 // VOL. 29 ISSUE 26 COVER STORY

BEST OF JAX THE SEQUEL

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ROUND TWO! Tired from your first try at taking over the FWM gym? Get a refreshing blast of the best with this second edition of our annual readers poll to find out what’s hot, what’s not, and what’s on its way with Northeast Florida’s longest-running, most trusted guide to all things 904. FOLIO GO!

FEATURED FE EATURED ARTICLES

SAVED BY THE BELL

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BY A.G. GANCARSKI Why the coup attempt against DCPS Supervisor Vitti FAILED

PULPIT AND SIN

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THE NEIGHBORS FROM HELL

BY JORDAN BEBOUT A book about PEDOPHILE PREACHER explores a sinister chapter of local history

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BY JULIE PARKER “The nightmare started around mid-May when the clearing of the land began... In June, the burning of stumps and other debris began. The thick smoke took our breath away.”

COLUMNS + CALENDARS FROM THE EDITOR 5 FILM OUR PICKS 6 ARTS MAIL/FIGHTIN’ WORDS 8 LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR NEWS 10 DINING DIRECTORY JAG CITY 11 BITE-SIZED MUSIC 46 PINT-SIZED

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FROM THE EDITOR

PRIVILEGES, SCOURGES &

GOOD V. EVIL

A MASH-UP of thoughts and observations LET’S RETIRE THE TERM ‘WHITE PRIVILEGE.’ A privilege is a benefit afforded to some to the exclusion of others; in today’s parlance, when we say ‘white privilege,’ we mean that whites are “privileged” to experience less discrimination and prejudice in our daily lives.

Before we go any further, this isn’t some broad-stroke attempt to deny that white skin affords certain advantages — that’s an endeavor better failed at by walking ethical voids of Ann Coulter’s ilk — but a request that instead we focus on the disadvantages suffered by our fellows on the basis of skin tone and ethnicity.

For when we decry white privilege, it is doubtful that we’re advocating for all people to be treated discriminatorily, unfairly and with suspicion, for all children to be taught the mantra “hands up, don’t shoot!” at their elders’ knees.

It is not a privilege to escape a traffic stop without harassment or assault, or to be judged by the quality of one’s character rather than the color of one’s skin, or to be held to the same standards as all others regardless of race.

These are not privileges: These are rights.

So instead of white privilege, let’s talk about minority disadvantage.

For the more the conversation about racial inequality turns toward white privilege, the less the recipients of said privilege are willing to listen. Love it or hate it, the majority of Americans are white, and we’re not going to change as a nation without the participation and cooperation of the majority. It is true that demographics are changing and white people will become a minority in a few short decades, but we’re not going to make measurable progress on rectifying racial disparity without white people at the table, minds and ears open to the real scourge: minority disadvantage.

SPEAKING OF SCOURGES, SOME OF THE MOST entertaining reading available today can be found online in the comments’ sections that dot the Internet landscape like landmines of bigotry, outrage and vitriol. Just as the words we publish appear on the top on the webpage, we in the news business tend to feel above the fray of the comments’ section, where petty squabbles and hatred are on display for all the world to cringe over. A colleague who shall remain unnamed dished out the business end of media elitism on First Coast Connect some months ago, all but sneering at those who comment on articles online. As someone who has received plenty of lessthan-reasoned comments and criticisms, including one from a gentleman who wrote

that I should be waterboarded for daring to express an opinion that differed from his, it’s tempting to believe that we in the media are better positioned to comment on society and culture with authority, that our opinions are somehow more credible and valid than LibertyWatchDog99 and AllLivesMatter53 (not real commenters — as far as I know).

But we’re not. We in the media, who write the stories, along with the commenters in the slushy yellow piles below them, are all individual citizens of the world — and our opinions are weighted like votes: equally, one per person.

ALL COMMENTERS MAY HAVE BEEN CREATED equally, but all comments aren’t. Spend enough time on social media and in the comments cesspool and you could easily become convinced that the balance of good v. evil is weighing more heavily on the side of Coulter, er, evil. I refuse to believe this is true, perhaps naïvely preferring a narrative in which it just seems like good is losing because hate and fear are more motivating than love and compassion to those who sound off on the Internet. Like Donald J. Trump.

While human beings are by far the most destructive and cruel creatures to ever walk, swim or slither the Earth, we are also the most empathetic, compassionate and loving.

Have you ever seen a chicken protest the poor treatment of turtles? A pack of dogs climb into a sewer to save a family of ducklings (for something other than lunch)? A cat rescue a kitten from its abusive parents?

Yes, we maim, murder and abuse, but we’re not defined by only the wicked.

It’s easy to have hope in human nature when you consider that every single day, millions, perhaps billions, of humans go out of their way to do something good for one another for no particular reason, that ethics have been meticulously defined and refined throughout the whole of human history, that we love quadrupeds like they’re our flesh and blood, that we weep at the suffering of others and dedicate our considerable mental prowess to eradicating diseases and afflictions that none in our line will ever suffer.

We are without a doubt the worst the world can offer. We are also the best. Don’t forget that. No matter what people write below this online.

Claire Goforth claire@folioweekly.com Twitter/ClaireNJax SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 4, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5

YOU ARE THE CHAMPIONS

FRI

30

BEST OF JAX PARTY

The readers hath spoken! Come mingle with the winners at 2016’s Folio Weekly Best of Jax Party. This year’s shindig features live music

by The 77Ds, and the $5 admission includes dinner and a beer!

Bold City 5-7 p.m. Sunday, Oct. 2, B

Brewery, Riverside, folioweekly.com.

SUN

2

CANVASSING THE CRYPTIC

JASON JOHN Blending Old Masters technique with a cerebral, if not esoteric, vision, painter Jason John has honed his skills in creating enigmatic, provocative and awe-inspiring works. He places the contemporary human figure into perplexing yet inviting, fable-like narratives of otherworldly realms tethered together by what John has described as “nobility.” Still in his mid-thirties, John has carved out an estimable niche in the international art world, and Northeast Florida art fans who haven’t experienced his truly singular paintings must make the opening reception for his latest show, Crossing the Threshold. Reception 7-9:30 p.m. Friday, Sept. 30, Florida Mining Gallery, Southside; an RSVP artist’s talk is 7 p.m. Sept. 22. The show displays through Oct. 28, floridamininggallery.com.

OUR PICKS SAT

REASONS TO LEAVE THE HOUSE THIS WEEK

FRI

1

20

CELEBRATION! RIVER CITY PRIDE PARADE & FESTIVAL

Jax city council continues to embarrass itself and most non-Podunk-Trumpite locals with its stalling of (quite frankly, the inevitable) passing of the HRO bill, alienating possible lucrative businesses from moving to Northeast Florida in the process, but the local LGBTQ community continues to thrive through empowerment, activism and leading by example. This week, we celebrate unity and have a damn good time doing so at the 37th annual River City Pride Parade & Festival, as a vocal concert kicks off a seriously festive three days. River City Pride Concert, featuring Jacksonville Gay Chorus, Vocal Theory Project, Jacksonville Men’s Chorus and One AcChord, is 7:30 p.m. Thursday, Sept. 29, Riverside Avenue Christian Church, $20. Parade starts 4 p.m. Saturday, Oct. 1 at Boone Park, ending in Five Points. Festival is 11 a.m.-8 p.m. Sunday, Oct. 2, at Riverside Arts Market site, under the Fuller Warren Bridge, jaxgay.com.

SUN

2

OLD SOUL

SARAH JAROSZ

Grammy-nominated singersongwriter Sarah Jarosz is acknowledged as being on the vanguard of the new wave of acoustic music. A graduate of New England Conservatory of Music, the 25-year-old Jarosz has released four albums of critically acclaimed music that pushes bluegrass and country into the 21st century, driven by her indisputable skills as a banjo-mandolinist and her melodic, mellow drawl that belies her Austin, Texas roots.

8 p.m. Friday, Sept. 20 with opener Parker Millsap, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, $19$41.50, pvconcerthall.com.

SNOCKER THE VOTE! BALLOTS & BREWS

Since beer makes everything better (at least if you’re a total alkie), the Jax Young Voters Coalition returns with Ballots & Brews, a nowannual event in place to encourage young voter turnout and/or drunkenness! More than 1,000 millennialaged – and us geezer-aged – voters are expected at this nonpartisanship soiree to rub elbows with candidates, campaign representatives and elected officials. The event also features original, politically inspired posters by AIGA Jacksonville. The first 50 attendees of legal drinking age through the doors get a free beer ticket! 6-9 p.m. Saturday, Oct. 1, Intuition Ale Works, Downtown, jaxyoungvoters.com.

SAT

1

NOW’S THE TIME AMELIA ISLAND JAZZ FESTIVAL

Whether you’re a bebop head or Latin jazz is your fix, the Amelia Island Jazz Festival has it – another week of killer jazz with the likes of University of North Florida Jazz Ensemble directed by Dennis Marks, The Dynamic Les DeMerle Little Big Band with Bonnie Eisele, Trio Caliente, legendary saxophonist Houston Person (pictured), and Bria Skonberg, along with jam sessions and a jazz brunch.

Sunday, Oct. 2-Sunday, Oct. 9, at various Fernandina Beach venues. For details and ticket info, go to ameliaislandjazzfestival.com.

6 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 4, 2016

SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 4, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7

THE MAIL

FOLIO VOICES : FIGHTIN’ WORDS

SAVED BY THE BELL Why the COUP ATTEMPT against Vitti failed

DOOMSDAY IN THE SUNSHINE STATE

RE.: “Developed Until It All Just Looks the Same,”

by Claire Goforth, Sept. 7 Rivertowne, wasn’t that developed on St. Joe land that was leased to them by the state for silviculture only? I could be wrong about that.

Didn’t they clear-cut all 4000+ acres at once, causing turbidity and nuking the three streams that run through the property, as well as the St. Johns River, for months and filling in the wetland? Didn’t they also decide to pump alum directly onto the wetland to bring the turbidity down? And didn’t the Water Management District decide on a paltry $20k fine even before the turbidity and fill issues had ceased? I suppose this is all acceptable.

Florida is doomed.

Eesa Gafoor Ali via Facebook

DOWNTOWN IS ON A DUMPSTER FIRE

RE.: “Urban Agenda,” by Marc Wisdom, Sept. 14 Pretty sure the Downtown “scene” hasn’t been cleaned up (read: gentrified) enough yet to be a wonderland of anything beyond a mishmash of derelict lots, hobo quarters and ubiquitous squalor.

Brian Ashby via Facebook

THREE CHEERS FOR LOCAL BEER MAKERS

RE.: “Sisters of the Suds,” by Mark Judson, Sept. 14 Not only do they make incredible beer, Susan Miller and family are some of the nicest people you will ever meet. They were our beer sponsor here at space:eight for years and we greatly appreciated their support. Hats off to Bold City Brewery!

Rob DePiazza via Facebook

LEND YOUR VOICE If you’d like to respond to something you read in the pages of Folio Weekly Magazine, please send an email (with your name, address, and phone number for verification purposes only) to mail@folioweekly.com, visit us at folioweekly.com, or follow us on Twitter or Facebook (@folioweekly) and join the conversation.

BRICKBATS + BOUQUETS BOUQUETS TO BANKERS LIFE Through the recent Bankers Life Forget Me Not Days campaign, the Jacksonville branch sales office of the life and health insurance brand focused on individuals at or near retirement age, raised more than $33,000 for the Alzheimer’s Association Central & North Florida Chapter. Those who donated funds received packets of forget-me-not flower seeds, so they’re not only fighting a scourge that afflicts millions, but paying tribute to those affected by the disease.

BRICKBATS TO ORANGE PARK Orange Park cited the town’s only video game store, Gone Broke Gaming, for violating its sign code by placing an inflatable Super Mario in front of the business during work hours. On Sept. 21, Clay Today reported that Town Clerk Sarah Campbell basically said the town wants to set itself apart from seedier burgs and “those floppy air things or others inflatables can be seen as not visually appealing.” But the paper noted that the owner of Gone Broke Gaming wonders whether the town also cites those who put inflatable Santas and snowmen in their yards at Christmas. Good question.

BOUQUETS TO SUSAN G. KOMEN The breast cancer organization recently announced $32.7 million in new research grants, including $600K to Mayo Clinic researcher Keith Knutson, PhD, whose work to develop a vaccine to prevent breast cancer’s recurrence has earned him a Department of Defense Breakthrough Award grant and, even better, a spot on the FWM 2016 cover story, “29 Agitators, Truth Seekers and Crusaders.” Locally, since 1994, Komen North Florida has given more than $2.7 million to community programs and $1.1 million to research.

DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? HOW ABOUT A BRICKBAT? Send submissions to mail@folioweekly.com; 50 word maximum, concerning a person, place, or topic of local interest.

8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 4, 2016

LAST WEEK ENDED WITH DUVAL COUNTY Public Schools superintendent Nikolai Vitti not getting fired by the school board.

For a while, it wasn’t looking good for Vitti.

The principal local political drama last week was whether or not school board chair Ashley Smith Juarez was calling for a vote for his removal on Friday.

The meeting, nebulously noticed by the chair as about “governance and administration,” was interpreted as being one where Slick Nik was going to be given the ooh-la-la.

Vitti said as much. As did his ally on the board, Scott Shine.

The business community came out in force, pushing a press release from the Dalton Agency media shop just minutes before a joint meeting of the school board and the city council was to commence in City Hall.

Audrey Moran, Ed Burr, and some other people who can afford to drink with them called for unity and collaboration and so on.

At the end of that joint meeting, ASJ addressed the media, serving up enough word salad to remind you that her day job is as a mucketymuck with the Clinton Foundation.

ASJ said she had no intentions of canning the supe and that, if she had intended to do such a thing, she would’ve been explicit about it in the notice.

Of course, Vitti was shook, because he had somehow gotten the impression from ASJ that she was going to move for his dismissal. Perhaps because she said as much to him.

Amid that delightful dysfunction, there was an even more delightful pursuit: a Friday meeting of the school board.

Now, I cover lots of board meetings: city council, committee meetings, subcommittee meetings, and so on.

The joke at City Hall is that they should give me an office. It would help: They have reliable Wi-Fi now and the air-conditioning works.

The school board meeting last Friday was the messiest thing I’ve seen — except for HRO meetings.

It started off with an hour of public comment; as opposed to the council’s public comment, which attracts some of the most horrifying people to be on live mics since the Morton Downey Jr. show went off the air, the school board comment was largely the Pillars of the Community crowd — the kinds of people who, when they friend-request you now that it’s in their interest to try to build friendships, have 182 Mutual Friends … and 181 of them being members of RAP. Then it got realer than Real Deal Holyfield.

The board deliberations began.

Or rather, a “conversation,” as ASJ put it.

Here’s how it went.

You had six people on the dais — yes, it’s a seven-person board, but Jason Fischer hauled ass off it to run for state house.

And they had so many grievances, it was like listening to an unholy mélange of a group therapy session and a casting call for Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

They complained about the media — whose sole crime was actually trying to report on the messiness of this board, the utter incompatibility and preening of its members, which ASJ and, heck, the majority of board members wanted to happen out of the sunshine.

It’s not that the public has a right to know, went the argument, but whether or not the board was about to can the superintendent.

The hubris appalled me. I can’t make that clear enough.

The Duval County School Board has a history of tying superintendents to a caboose and running them out of town on a rail. Part of the reason the tracks are where they are in San Marco is so motorists get to watch.

They wanted to do that with Vitti, it seemed.

It also seemed the chair would have gotten away with it if she could have.

Based on the way that meeting was run — flush with arbitrary decisions, not the least of which was noticing a meeting for one hour and then having it last for close to three — I have to say that, in terms of running a meeting, it was the worst I’d ever seen.

That’s your millage rates at work: We pay for the mess at the school board building. And the board chair would have that business conducted in the shadows rather than the sunshine.

Perhaps the solution is an elected superintendent.

This board is not accountable to much of anyone. Barring a cluster**** like this, no one knows who any of them are.

By and large, they are politicians who can’t get to the next level. Once they are able to, they move on.

The school board is political purgatory.

And the way they conduct business?

Hell on the Southbank.

A.G. Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com twitter/AGGancarski

SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 4, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9

FOLIO COMMUNITY : NEWS Book about PEDOPHILE PREACHER explores a sinister chapter of local history

PULPIT

& SIN

10 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 4, 2016

THE PRELUDE TO DEVIL IN THE BAPTIST Church: Bob Gray’s Unholy Trinity by local author and Folio Weekly contributor Tim Gilmore includes a telling quotation from Trinity Baptist Church’s current pastor Tom Messer: “Nobody, certainly not Dr. Gray, certainly not me or you, certainly none of us, should be either idealized or demonized.”

Despite the book’s title, Gilmore doesn’t do either of those things. Instead, he blends victims’ testimony, Gray’s sermons and personal analysis as well as powerful black-and-white photographs to bring the reader with him into church pews, back offices, and homes of people impacted by pedophile preacher Robert (Bob) Gray.

“It’s a story I’ve been connected to,” said Gilmore. “It’s personal. My parents met at this church and I attended the high school there in the late ’80s.”

Gray was a pastor at Trinity Baptist Church for 38 years, but he was more than a pastor — he turned Trinity into Jacksonville’s first megachurch, and became a national voice for Baptist conservatism.

“It was a hellfire-and-brimstone kind of preaching,” said Gilmore. “It was angry, footstomping, Bible-thumping kind of preaching.

He got people fired up.”

As has happened numerous times in recent memory, Gray, a publicly puritanical pastor who protested Elvis Presley, homosexuals and women becoming preachers, is the same man who raped and molested children for decades.

Gray’s crimes against children, which date as far back as 1949, almost came out at least twice: in the early ’80s and again in the early ’90s.

After the second hush-up, the church made a deal with the victims’ families that he would leave the country. So Gray went to Germany, where he remained for more than a decade.

The book explains how members of the church were silenced, and told not to go to the police.

“A lot of victims didn’t know there were others,” said Gilmore.

There were disturbing similarities among the victims’ stories. The pastor would bring them into his soundproof office, where he would physically violate them; afterward, he often gave them candy as they left. He scared and shamed the children into keeping the abuse a secret, going as far as reportedly telling one child, “I am like God in this church and you are just a little girl.”

After returning to the United States, Gray was arrested at the age of 81, in 2006. A total of 22 victims — 21 women and one man — filed charges against him but the statute of limitations had expired on many charges.

Although the total number of victims could be

even higher than 22, at age 81, Gray faced four counts of capital sexual battery. But before he could be brought to earthly justice, Gray died in jail awaiting trial in 2007.

“When Bob Gray got arrested, I think it affected a lot of people,” said Gilmore. “Not only did it shake their faith in God, but also their faith in the church.”

The consequences of Gray’s abuse have impacted the lives of his victims and their loves ones in unimaginable ways. According to Gilmore, one of Gray’s victims committed suicide, at least two others attempted to take their own lives.

Even faced with news of victims’ suicide attempts, Gray remained, as ever, convinced he had been a faithful servant.

“Do you feel you’ve been forgiven by God for what you’ve done?” asked a police officer who interrogated him in 2006. “I know I have,” Gray answered.

The nonfiction book also highlights significant evidence that Trinity Baptist leaders conspired together to hide Gray’s “indiscretions” at the church from the congregation and the authorities for several decades.

Gilmore says Messer told him that he believes Trinity is a family and “whatever happened there was a family squabble that didn’t concern anyone else.”

But today, seemingly unable to shake its troubled past, Trinity Baptist Church has about one-sixth of the congregation that it had in the era of Bob Gray. This book isn’t likely to help attendance at services.

Gilmore explained that the story of Gray had already fascinated him for a long time when he officially started researching it about two years ago. Devil in the Baptist Church is the 13th book written by Gilmore, who also organizes the JaxbyJax Literary Arts Festival.

His website JaxPsychoGeo.com illustrates his passion for unique stories of local importance.

Fans of American Horror Story, Southern gothic literature or investigative journalism will find similar elements within the pages of Bob Gray’s Unholy Trinity, which thoroughly fleshes out Gray’s rise to power and the circumstances of the era that allowed him to become such a prominent clergyman.

Gilmore hopes the book will make predators feel less empowered and entitled to assault innocents.

“What’s been important to me in doing this, is that for so long, the church was able to cover all this stuff up because it was kept secret,” he said. “One of the most powerful things people can do is tell stories.”

Jordan Bebout mail@folioweekly.com

JAG CITY The off-season gave us hope and NOW WE’RE 0-3

DROWNING IN

SORROWS I HAVE TO GIVE IT TO THE JAGS — TYPICALLY, IT takes a few punts or an interception to contemplate a switch from beer to liquor. At least the opponent’s first possession, then, to make me furiously rant with Jags Twitter nation.

This week, it happened on the opening kick-off.

Zero seconds into the game and returner Corey Grant let the opening kick slide through his hands.

The Jaguars recovered the ball, but fans knew it was happening again. My friend and I, Salty Pelican’s sole fans in teal, knew it was going to be a long afternoon.

They went three and out that drive, punting, for the first of six times during the game.

Emotions began to change in the second quarter.

After a 42-yard punt return, the Jags were in great field position. Quarterback Blake Bortles connected with receiver Allen Robinson twice on the ensuing drive, then found him a third time for a touchdown.

Halftime came and we were down only 13-7.

Discussion among the lonely Jag fans, after learning the Salty Pelican in Fernandina Beach is a Patriots watch bar, was cautious at best.

We’ve been let down by the team before. Many times, actually, and we’re not ones to buy the false hope of every off-season.

We were down only one possession, but the Ravens would get the ball first.

Beyond the scoreboard, we were reminded that Bortles had once again thrown an interception and our running game was nonexistent.

Second half kick-off. We noticed the Ravens didn’t drop it.

A Ravens field goal on the drive made it once again a two-possession game, but it was better than allowing a touchdown. The next Jags drive featured several big passes from Bortles and capped off, again, with a Robinson touchdown.

Around this time, I let the false hope grab hold of me and tweeted out, “What if … we win?”

Both teams then decided they didn’t want the ball and punted it away twice each. But, on the final punt of the exchange, the Ravens dropped the ball and the Jaguars recovered it.

The game shifted. And so did the bar. We noticed several folks cheering on the Jaguars. They should’ve picked a better team to bandwagon.

The Jags drove nowhere and had to settle for a field goal, but it was enough to take the lead.

The following drive, Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco was intercepted by Jags safety Tashaun Gipson. Suddenly, more folks were cheering for the big cats. My friend explained to his fiancée that they needed to stay a little longer.

We all bought in.

Three plays later, Bortles threw his second interception. The sorrow of his pathetic, wobbling pass was quickly replaced when two plays later, Flacco threw another interception.

With three minutes left, a lead and three timeouts, the Jags had the ball at the Ravens’ 29-yard line. They did absolutely nothing.

After going three and out, the Jags lined up for a field goal to stretch their lead to four. The 52-yard kick never even made it to the posts … it was blocked.

The Ravens slowly drove down and kicked a field goal, with 1:02 left to play. They went up 19-17.

The final drive was worth forgetting as we finished our drinks. A pair of horrible play calls, a time-wasting sack and the grand finale — another Bortles interception.

A slightly intoxicated Ravens fan yelled, “We won the game!” as I left.

Next week, come find me at Intuition Ale Works and discover the joys of A.M. drinking as the Jags travel to London.

Mark Judson mail@folioweekly.com Twitter/MarkfromJax, Facebook.com/FolioWeeklyJagCity SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 4, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11

Chaz Bäck, Jordan Bebout, Daniel A. Brown, Marlene Dryden, Claire Goforth, Dennis Ho, Kara Pound & Davi Photos by Dennis Ho

O

ne score and five years ago, Folio Weekly Magazine brought forth this Best of Jax, a new concept, conceived in meetings, and dedicated to the proposition that only one – or two – can win each category.

Now we are engaged in a great readers’ poll, proving clearly this Best of, more so than any knock-off or pretender, can long endure. Today, you meet the winners in this great issue, our 25th Best of Jax. We now dedicate these pages as the final say for those who have spent their minutes and hours voting so that the winners may be chosen. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this. We are Folio Weekly Magazine and this is the BEST OF JAXXV. But, in a peculiar sense, we cannot dedicate – we cannot reveal the winners of this classic poll without first creating a legion of Pokémon to adorn these pages. You will find no Charmeleon, nor Metapod, nor Butterfree – for we, FWM, are so devoted to your entertainment that we have crafted our very own Pokémon based on local characters as classic as the winners recognized on these storied pages. And now, without further ado, this Northeast Florida, under Georgia, shall have a new field of winners – may they forever reign (until next year).

Claire Goforth claire@folioweekly.com

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HOTTEST LOCAL CELEBRITY BEST LOCAL ATHLETE Blake Bortles Hottest Celeb Finalists: Tim Tebow, Ali Youngblood Best Local Athlete Finalists: Tim Tebow, Ryan Murphy

It’s really no surprise that Blake Bortles, quarterback for the Jaguars and all-American hunk, has been named both Hottest Local Celebrity and Best Local Athlete. I mean, the guy is not hard to look at – though we prefer him with facial hair. Born and raised in Seminole County, Bortles was a football star in high school, went on to play at the University of Central Florida and then was drafted by the Jags in the third overall pick in the 2014 NFL Draft. According to ESPN, Bortles is 6’5” and 239 pounds and he had the fourth-most QB fantasy points last season. Not bad for a 24-year-old Florida boy with eyes that could slay any woman in a bar. Or in the stands.

See you on the field, Bortles!

BEST LAWYER BEST LOCAL RIGHTEOUS CRUSADER John Phillips Lawyer Finalists: Paul Green, Jacquelyn Beik Righteous Crusader Finalists: Jimmy Midyette, Ken Amaro

After being named the Best Lawyer in Jacksonville for six years, this Jags fan has been named Best Local Righteous Crusader

by FW readers. John Phillips has graced the guest seats of many morning news shows around the country, gave a TED Talk on prejudice and racial inequality, and even worked as a lawyer for someone making “left shark” figures. (You know, the ones from Katy Perry’s 50th Super Bowl performance?) Most important, he’s a well-known face around town who’s always fighting for the greater good.

LOCAL ZERO BEST THING TO HAPPEN IN NORTHEAST FLORIDA BEST LOCAL SCANDAL Corrine Brown, Corrine Brown’s Indictment

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Zero Finalists: Lenny Curry, Angela Corey Best Thing to Happen Finalists: Amazon Jobs, Art Walk Local Scandal Finalists: Matt Shirk, Florida Creamery It took only 23 years of scandals, rumors and … interesting sound bites, but on Aug. 30, Corrine Brown lost her primary election weeks after being indicted on 22 federal charges stemming from her involvement with the One Door For Education “charity.”

That’s almost one charge for every year she was in Congress. But really, we know you’re actually kind of sad to see her go — who else could command Local Zero and have their indictment win Best Thing to Happen and Best Local Scandal? Not to mention the fact that between Brown and a certain exiting prosecutor, Northeast Florida has kept the international press in headlines. No such thing as bad publicity, baby — wait, is that true for cities or just fame whores? #BurningQuestions

BEST LOCAL RADIO STATION WJCT Finalists: WAPE, WQIK

Nerd alert! Northeast Floridians must be some of the most informed Floridians, because you’ve voted local public radio affiliate, WJCT 89.9 FM as the Best Local Radio Station again this year. On the daily, WJCT’s hosts, journalists, producers and experts give us the scoop, the dealio, the goods on what’s going down in and out of town. And, by way of fun coincidence, they’ve been hitting the airwaves for pledges — so visit WJCT.org or call 353-7770 to support public radio. If you don’t, well, they’ll have no choice but to gently remind you in that patented NPR voice that serves as your inner monologue in finer moments.

LOCAL TV MORNING SHOW BEST LOCAL NEWS WEBSITE WJXT Morning Show, News4Jax.com TV Morning Show Finalists: Good Morning Jacksonville, WTLV;

River City Live, WJXT Local News Website Finalists: FirstCoastNews.com, Jacksonville.com

They’re kooky and boisterous and at times downright audacious — no, not the Pokémon Go followers, silly. We’re talking about the crew on WJXT’s Morning Show: Bruce How’s-My-Tan? Hamilton, Richard “Recipe” Nunn, Nikki Beautiful-in-theMorning Kimbleton, Melanie Where’s-Tarik?

Lawson, Jennifer Could-I-Be-Any-Perkier?

Waugh and Crystal Too-Talented-for-JustTraffic Moyer. FW readers can’t get enough of THE Local Station’s News4Jax coverage in the a.m. They’re also pretty pumped up about that online presence, voting News4Jax.com this year’s Best Local News Website.

BEST LOCAL COLUMNIST BEST LOCAL WRITER Mark Woods Columnist Finalists: Ron Littlepage, Davi Writer Finalists: Ron Littlepage, Tim Gilmore

After spending a year traveling the nation’s parks while grieving the loss of his mother, Mark Woods has lassoed his way onto the Best of Jax list, being named both Best Local Writer and Best Local Columnist.

Capturing the wit, intellect and genuinely compassionate soul that have made him a local literary asset for years, Woods’ book, “Lassoing the Sun,” has received praise from critics and readers far and wide, making The Florida Times-Union writer even more beloved than ever before.

BEST LOCAL VOLUNTEER EFFORT B.E.A.K.S. Finalists: Habitat for Humanity, HandsOn Jacksonville

A wildlife rehabilitation sanctuary founded in 1981, B.E.A.K.S. (or Bird Emergency Aid & Kare Sanctuary) is a nonprofit organization located on Big Talbot Island that cares for roughly 4,000 birds each year. From eagles and wood storks to blue jays and wrens, B.E.A.K.S. has proved a valuable resource in caring for and rehabilitating local

injured wildlife. Cindy Mosling and Andy Liliskis established the organization in the early 1980s. Today, B.E.A.K.S. has gained national recognition for their work caring for both common and endangered Florida birds. Well done!

BEST LOCAL ENVIRONMENTAL ABOMINATION St. Johns River Dredging Finalists: Georgia-Pacific, Rick Scott

Northeast Floridians have restored our faith in humanity by voting the St. Johns River Dredging as the “Best” Local Environmental Abomination. It’s like you (but not JaxPort nor, somehow, the Army Corp of Engineers) realize that dredging 13 miles of river from 40 to 47 feet would — surprise! — affect its dolphins, manatees, crabs, cypress trees, insects, plants and more. Yeah, we can’t figure out how they can possibly believe that removing 18 million cubic tons of sediment from the riverbed would have “minimal environmental impact,” either. But maybe we’re using a different Magic 8 Ball.

BEST LOCAL ENVIRONMENTAL ACTIVIST St. Johns Riverkeeper Lisa Rinaman Finalists: Barbara Tidwell, Cindy Mosling When your job title is “The St. Johns Riverkeeper,” it holds a lot of weight and a ton of responsibility. Lisa Rinaman is the chief advocate and public’s voice for the St. Johns River. She is in charge of holding accountable those who pollute our river.

That takes guts and determination. As a former senior staff member for Jacksonville Mayor John Peyton, Rinaman is no stranger to conflict. She’s helped implement some of the strongest environmental policies in Northeast Florida including Florida Friendly landscaping ordinances. “I am truly honored,” Rinaman said of the win. “For me, this is a validation of our river’s importance to our community. Together, we must fight the good fight for the St. Johns.”

BEST FOLIO WEEKLY MAGAZINE COVER STORY Heavy Lifting Finalists: Truth, Justice or the Angela Corey Way, Bite by Bite

At heart, we care about the arts and their effect on our community. Maybe that’s why our readers chose “Heavy Lifting” as their favorite cover story of the year. Written by former FWM editor Matthew B. Shaw and photographed by our own Dennis Ho, “Heavy Lifting” shared an intimate look at the Cummer’s LIFT exhibit, which explored local artists’ statements on racial diversity.

The insanely popular and effective exhibition put together by then-director Hope McMath clearly struck a chord with our readers.

BEST LOCAL RADIO SHOW BEST LOCAL RADIO PERSONALITY Melissa Ross Radio Personality Finalists: Mark Kaye, Eden Kendall Radio Show Finalists: Your Hometown Morning Show, Gator Country 99.9 FM; The Drill, 1010XL/92.5 FM

OK, confession time: We’re seriously crushing on Melissa Ross. She’s brilliant, interesting and, above all, fair — even when the vilest politician or pundit calls in or settles into the chair across from her in Studio 5 at WJCT. She’s so fabulous that in seven years on the air, the host of First Coast Connect and recent subject of a Folio Weekly cover story, “The Power of

Connection,” has repeatedly dominated as Best Local Radio Personality.

BEST LOCAL TV NEWSCAST BEST LOCAL TV SPORTS ANCHOR BEST LOCAL TV WEATHER FORECASTER WJXT Channel 4, Sam Kouvaris, Richard Nunn Newscast Finalists: First Coast News, WJAX Sports Anchor Finalists: Dan Hicken, Chris Porter Weather Forecaster Finalists: Tim Deegan, Mike Buresh

It seems that THE Local Station and First Coast News trade wins in these categories every other year or so … particularly in the Weather category — Nunn and Deegan have been hurtling lightning bolts at each other for a decade. WJXT’s Kouvaris knows his sports trivia — challenge him on an obscure random stat and he’ll get it every time. The Channel Four newscast is distinctive in that it really does report local news more than other channels. The only complaint anyone might voice is the insertion of a story about a baby hippo being weaned at a zoo in Sri Lanka between reports about Yulee and Palatka. Enough with the goober international stuff already.

BEST LOCAL TV ANCHOR Romney Smith Finalists: Mary Baer, Bruce Hamilton

On weekday mornings, NEFL peeps love to wake up to Romney Smith on Action News Jax. And who could blame them? With a gorgeous all-American girl smile and a killer sense of the news, this award-winning anchor/reporter makes getting up early an actual pleasure, hence her title as Best Local TV Anchor bestowed by FW readers.

BEST LOCAL INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER Ken Amaro at First Coast News Finalists: Jim Piggott at WJXT4; Vic Micolucci at WJXT

If you’ve ever seen a First Coast News segment called “On Your Side,” then you’re quite familiar with the bespectacled, bowtiewearing Ken Amaro. The man is everywhere.

Helping all kinds of folks, from an elderly woman swindled by a tree-trimming business to a disgruntled former Sbraga employee, Amaro spends his days making a difference.

“I am honored to be selected by the readers for this recognition,” said Amaro. “I believe in giving a voice to the voiceless and will continue to do such.” We hope you do!

BEST REASON TO HATE NORTHEAST FLORIDA Heat & Humidity Finalists: Traffic, Murder/Crime Rate

Some like it hot. That’s what Power Station said. However, it seems like our readers are just not down with the sultry sweat and steamy swelter of subtropical climes. Our pervasive, nine-month summer in Northeast Florida is part of what defines us. We just don’t understand how so many people could hate it. Unless, of course, “heat and humidity” is somehow a euphemism for Donald Trump, in which case, we totally get it.

BEST WASTE OF LOCAL PUBLIC MONEY Jacksonville Meter Maids Finalists: EverBank Field/Jaguars, Duval County Courthouse

According to municode.com, they’re parking

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enforcement specialists, who check all the city’s “parking meters for indications of illegal parking, and to give notice of the violation of ordinances regulating the” blah, blah, blah … still doesn’t explain why trucks park for hours in zones bordered on each end with signs saying NO PARKING ANYTIME and FREIGHT LOADING ONE HOUR LIMIT. Anyway, they do wear uniform and badges, so when you see one lurking by your ride’s meter, grab a handful of quarters and stop the madness.

BEST USE OF PUBLIC MONEY Libraries Finalists: Hemming Park, Parks & Recreation

Unsurprisingly, Folio Weekly readers like to read. They are also good-looking, sexy, and firm of leg, jaw and back. And when given a choice of where municipal budgetary shekels should be aimed, these fine people are all about supporting our local libraries. In your face, Department of Solid Waste Management! Duval County alone boasts some 20 library branches, and all surrounding counties offer libraries with state-of-the-art facilities and beaucoup books. So whether you’re looking to learn an unhealthy amount about Thomas Pynchon, dig on some free concerts, or go “all in” on Bingo night, the library remains our readers’ local sanctuary for all things mentally stimulating and life-enriching.

According to Folio Weekly readers, this ginger Jag Pack member and shredding patriot, Lane Pittman, is the Best Local Weirdo.

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BEST LOCAL NONPROFIT JASMYN Finalists: K9s For Warriors, St. Francis Animal Hospital

If there is a true beacon of compassionate action in Northeast Florida, it’s exemplified by the ongoing efforts and success of JASMYN (Jacksonville Area Sexual Minority Youth Network). Supporting young people ages 13-23 who identify as LGBT or Questioning, JASMYN offers a safe environment, if not sanctuary, for many local youths, along with health services and other wellness programs that teach, encourage and empower. Through roundtable discussions, monthly meetings, and a continuing campaign of fostering loving support and acceptance, JASMYN joins LGBT youth, families and community together, illustrating that our similarities far outweigh our differences.

BEST LOCAL FACEBOOK PAGE Jax Food Truck Food Court Finalists: Jacksonville Restaurant Reviews, 904 Happy Hour

Texting and driving is not just dangerous, it’s against the law. So while we’re not saying that our readers’ favorite local FB page, Jax Food Truck Court, isn’t entertaining (it is), filled with cool info (it is) or a great way to find out what’s cookin’ with the local mobile

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Locals love the beach so much, they voted it the Best Reason to Love NEFL, Place to Bike and Place to People Watch.

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foodie scene (three times is a winner!); we’re just saying that we hope they’re keeping their eyes on the road and pull over for important status updates.

BEST LOCAL TWITTER ACCOUNT @MillerOnSports Finalists: @TheSpecktator, @FolioWeekly

This cat or, if you prefer, bird of prey takes prolific to a new level on Twitter — even trouncing Jacksonville Mayor Lenny Curry’s activity, and that’s sayin’ something. The man behind the Voice of University of North Florida Athletics, Richard Miller, is an expert of all things local sports, masterful as a retweeter and entertaining as hell as a commentator. Take this gem from Sept. 11, “I’d feel good about Jaguars result today if it was 2015.” Burrrnnnn.

BEST LOCAL TREND Pokémon Go Finalists: Food Trucks, Craft Beer

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Serious, Northeast Florida? Pokémon Go is the “best” you could come up with for Best Local Trend? We were counting on the inverted mullet for this year’s Best of Jax theme! Oh, the glorious party-in-thefront, business-in-the-back photo spread, the Kurt Cobain lookalike we were going to discover slinging burritos from a food truck, the many flannel shirts tied around waists at the Best of Jax party at Bold City Brewery on Oct. 2 — gone, all gone.

Instead, we’re walking into traffic and stumbling into the St. Johns River chasing Zubats. Sigh. Anyone else find it ironic

that fat, lazy Americans are wild about a game that actually makes them go outside and walk?

BEST LOCAL INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT Igersjax Finalists: Riverside_Memes, OnlyInDuval

With nearly 40,000 followers, Igersjax is the place to scroll for all things 904.

There are nighttime pictures of the Main Street Bridge, all lit up in blue. There are photos of surfers, girls in bikinis, festivals, cityscapes, river views and architecture.

The Cultural Council has even called the account the “most active and powerful growing cultural and social group in the city.” So if you find yourself bored at home one of these days, search the hashtag #igersjax and you’re bound to come up with a thing or two to do.

BEST RADIO SPORTS PERSONALITY Dan Hicken Finalists: Cole Pepper, Sam Kouvaris

If you aren’t listening to “The Drill” with Dan Hicken and cohost Jeff Prosser on 1010XL/92.5 FM, you haven’t heard the most unforgettable singing voice in Northeast Florida. Seriously, late-night TV has Jimmy Kimmel, Northeast Florida sports radio has Dan Hicken. If you aren’t tuning in, you’re also missing out on hearing one of the most zany, informed and flat-out funny sports commentators in all the land. That’s why Hicken tops this list for the sixth time as the Best Radio Sports Personality.

WORST THING TO HAPPEN IN NORTHEAST FLORIDA Ken Adkins Finalists: Donald Trump Rallies, Lenny Curry

OK, y’all are kinda giving us the warm fuzzies. Voting alleged clergyman Ken Adkins as the Worst Thing to Happen in Northeast Florida before he was arrested in Georgia on charges of child molestation and aggravated child molestation, when he was merely a mental midget and human ethics-free-zone sabotaging the HRO, Tweeting deplorable things about our LGBTQ brothers and sisters in the days after the mass shooting at Pulse Orlando and disrespecting elder statesmen makes up for voting Pokémon Go the Best Local Trend. Mostly.

we’ll watch his new career with interest — and wonder how Tewbowing will play out at home plate. You go, Tim!

BEST REASON TO LOVE NORTHEAST FLORIDA BEST PLACE TO PEOPLE-WATCH BEST PLACE TO BIKE The Beaches Reason to Love Northeast Florida Finalists: Weather, Jaguars People-Watch Finalists: Five Points, Town Center Bike Finalists:

Jacksonville-Baldwin Rail-Trail, Kathryn Abbey Hanna Park

Whether cruising, strolling, swimming or spinning, people agree the beach is the best place to be for biking and peoplewatching and is our readers’ most favoritest thing of all.

Bikers can pedal along the Jax Beach Boardwalk or head to Hanna Park for a more adventurous ride over wooded trails. The beach is also bike-friendly, so touring around on two wheels is an easy way to explore.

If you like to sit back and wonder about passersby, just head to where the ocean kisses the sand. It’s a people-watching

paradise. On any given day, you could see a surfer rip a set or a skater rolling with a dog. You might even spin theories about hipsters staggering from the bar or flashy femmes entering the club. Just grab a seat and get ready to be amused.

Locals agree that the beaches are a quick and easy escape from it all. Our coastline features four separate beaches, each with a unique shore to explore. You can find the freshest catch in town, catch some waves or rays, chillax with pals and groove with the nightlife. Better still: No matter where you live, it’s a short trip to the sand.

BEST BLOG Jax Restaurant Reviews Finalists: Jacksonville Moms Blog, The Specktator

Are you looking for the best place to grab a bite before a movie? Or is it a kid-friendly restaurant in Avondale you seek? Either way, Jax Restaurant Reviews has you covered. Covering every culinary nook and cranny in the 904, Jax Restaurant Reviews is more than just a blog. JaxRestaurantReviews.com also features foodie news, food adventures and a community calendar as well as cafés, bistros and brewpubs organized by food type and region. So loosen that belt and check out the best fare in Northeast Florida.

BEST LOCAL RELIGIOUS/ SPIRITUAL LEADER Pastor Avery Garner Finalists: Bill Tyler, Stovall Weems

The people have spoken. But God is whispering in their ear. And the Supreme Being says that Pastor Avery Garner of St. Luke’s Community Church is the pinnacle of local clergy. The Arkansas native, former political consultant, HRO-supporting shepherd of the good word who has done some seriously admirable work on behalf of the homeless and people suffering from HIV/AIDS gives us the serious feels. If we weren’t lapsed, we’d rise and bear witness to his grace.

LOCAL WEIRDO Lane Pittman Finalists: Corrine Brown, Kerry Speckman

The strawberry blonde sweetheart of shredding sick songs on the 4th of July (and getting busted in the process) has reached the pinnacle of Northeast Florida notoriety this year by being named THE Local Weirdo on the only Best Of list that matters. As a member of the Jaguars’ Jax Pack, Pittman has entertained; as a subject of a controversial arrest, he has enthralled. Word is he also got passed during the Gate River Run on the Green Monster by a shit-talking FWM staffer (whom he immediately smoked). Can’t wait to see what he’ll do next! “Weird.

Different. I ain’t scared to be,” he quips.

Keep it up, Lane.

BEST LOCAL HERO Tim Tebow Finalists: Lisa Thomas, Shad Khan

The versatile athlete — football star at Nease High School and University of Florida, 2007 Heisman winner, ex-Bronco, ex-Jet, exPatriot, ex-Eagle — is now trying his skills in The Show, professional baseball. Tebow signed a minor league contract with the New York Mets a couple weeks ago. Despite some grousing among sports enthusiasts, SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 4, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 19

Who cares? It’s your night. That is, until bar co-owners Ian and Christina give you the gasface and the big thumbs down; that’s when you know it’s time to step off the stage, trust us.

BEST ART EXHIBIT OF 2016 LIFT: Contemporary Expressions of the AfricanAmerican Experience Finalists: Confronting the Canvas: Women of Abstraction, In Living Color: Andy Warhol & Contemporary Printmaking (Both at MOCA)

On June 14, the exhibit LIFT: Contemporary Expressions of the African-American Experience opened at the Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens. A capacity crowd checked out the work of 10 local artists who created visually charged ruminations on Jacksonville’s African-American heritage and history. Using the lyrics of “Lift Ev’ry Voice and Sing,” a hymn penned by Jacksonville natives James Weldon Johnson and John Rosamond Johnson, as a launchpad, the artists of LIFT addressed concepts ranging from racial unity to police brutality in an exhibit that is surely one of the most radical exhibits ever featured at the Cummer. The brainchild of Cummer director Hope McMath, LIFT sparked an immediate dialogue among artists and art lovers alike. Sadly, last month McMath tendered her resignation from the Cummer, yet the impact she and the artists created is sure to resonate onward.

BEST CONCERT OF 2016 Justin Bieber

BEST MUSICIAN/BAND The Band Be Easy

Finalists: Pearl Jam, Welcome to Rockville Festival

Finalists: Grandpa’s Cough Medicine, Cody Nix

Northeast Florida, you have spoken. The word is that you have Bieber Fever! Tween heartthrob Justin Bieber made his way to Jacksonville’s Veterans Memorial Arena for a sold-out show in late June as part of his Purpose World Tour. The 22-year-old Canadian danced, sang and serenaded the ladies for a 90-minute show that featured tunes like “As Long As You Love Me,” “Insecurities” and “Love Yourself.” According to Inquisitr, Biebs even took a tumble during the water-drenched finale performance of his mega-hit “Sorry.” Sorry, not sorry.

BEST PLACE TO ATTEND A CONCERT St. Augustine Amphitheatre Finalists: The Florida Theatre, Veterans Memorial Arena

Consistently ranked among the top amphitheaters in the world by concert industry expert Pollstar, the St. Augustine Amphitheatre is Northeast Florida’s top pick as the place to enjoy a show. With a gangbuster 2016 season underway, the Amp (as it’s known by locals) has already welcomed legends like Robert Plant and Brian Wilson as well as modern music-makers such as Alabama Shakes and Twenty One Pilots. It certainly doesn’t hurt that this 4,000-plus-seat outdoor venue is located within Anastasia State Park and is surrounded by an elaborate arboretum of walking trails.

BEST LIVE MUSIC CLUB Mavericks Live Finalists: Rain dogs., 1904

Mavericks Live is making great strides in shedding its “Boot Scootin’ Boogie” image with an increasing run of killer concerts. Some of this credit surely must go to the savvy tastes of Jack Rabbits owner and promoter Tim Hall, and the management gets props for bringing killer hip hop, metal, rock and, of course, country artists into Downtown. Upcoming shows to absolutely check out include Animal Collective (Nov. 12), Thievery Corporation (Nov. 15), and hometown faves Yellowcard (Nov. 18). Cowboy boots optional.

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If music feeds the soul, then The Band Be Easy is one helluva spiritual journey. Playing a blend of rock ‘n’ roll, blues, Motown and reggae, these dudes have been gigging hard for around four years. The band’s lineup features Aaron Thomas (vocals), Soulo Lyon (guitar and vocals), Rick Benjamin (bass guitar), Will Montgomery (drums), Jonathan Johnson (keys) and Arthur Jones (keys). The band wrote via Facebook messenger. “We play a diverse set list of original material [from] our debut 10-song, self-titled album, as well as a variety of tunes from all the greats.”

BEST MUSEUM Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens Finalists: Museum of Contemporary Art Jacksonville (MOCA), Museum of Science and History (MOSH)

Did you know that the Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, located on Riverside Avenue, holds one of the finest art collections in the Southeast? Its permanent collection boasts nearly 5,000 works spanning the ages from 2100 B.C. through the 21st century. It’s also home to two-and-a-half acres of gorgeous historic gardens including the Cummer Oak, one of the oldest trees in Jacksonville.

From children’s workshops to exhibitions spanning African-American art and runway couture, the Cummer Museum has something for everyone.

BEST NEW NIGHTCLUB Myth Nightclub

BEST GALLERY CoRK Arts District

Finalists: Hoptinger, Hourglass Pub

Finalists: Mussallem Galleries, Stellers Gallery

When Folio Weekly readers want to work on some “night moves,” they take their little dance-happy tokheses to Myth. Legend has it (pun) that this Downtown club is located in the same spot where hipster hive Club TSI once hummed. But Myth keeps it current and cool with cutting-edge, tasty cocktails, hip DJs, weekly events like Sanctuary Saturdays and EDM College Thursdays, along with an outdoor terrace where you can catch your breath between bouts of showing off your original, Celtic-meets-thug dance move, “The Leprechaunvict.”

BEST KARAOKE NIGHT BEST OPEN MIC NIGHT Rain dogs.

Karaoke Night Finalists: Monkey’s Uncle, Austin Karaoke Open Mic Night Finalists: Monkey’s Uncle, Hourglass Pub

You’ve been practicing the song for weeks.

It’s your tune and no one can take that from you, not even God. So when you’re ready to unleash the world’s greatest rendition of Little Jimmy Dickens’ “Take an Old Cold Tater (And Wait),” whether during open mic or karaoke night, local FW readers take their amateur chops and music legend dreams to Rain Dogs. Is the crowd really understanding and appreciative or just placated by craft beers?

Looking to satisfy your artistic cravings? Stop

by CoRK Arts District in Riverside. It’s numero uno on the art scene. Located on the corner of Rosselle and King, this old warehouse has been renovated to provide creative spaces for local artists, galleries, and production studios. Artists benefit from working in close collaboration with a wide range of inspirations while the community benefits from the fruits of their labor. Even though a secret code is required to enter the building, access can be granted during publicly advertised events or individual appointments.

BEST LOCAL ARTIST Chip Southworth Finalists: Jessica Becker, Overstreet Ducasse

With the ability to capture both the beauty and peculiarity of his subjects, Chip Southworth has done more for the local art scene and art activism than almost any other artist in the area. “This city really does love art and I love making art here,” said Southworth of his win. “Sometimes it’s a battle, but the art community is full of soldiers. I hope to help push more thought-provoking art to the forefront in Jax — especially on the streets. It really is the drug that we need!”

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All great cities have great museums – and here in NEFL, Cummer Museum of Art and Gardens is the pinnacle according to FWM readers, who voted it the Best Local Museum.

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BEST LOCAL THEATER PRODUCTION “The Little Mermaid,” Theatre Jacksonville Finalists: “Beauty and the Beast” at Alhambra Dinner Theatre, “Annie” at Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts

Northeast Florida is the home of many great community theaters, and this year, Theatre Jacksonville’s musical tale of a seafaring princess fishing for true love is our readers’ choice for best local production. Maybe it was the toe-tapping musical numbers or maybe it was the spot-on performances that reeled in their attention, but either way, our readers pegged “The Little Mermaid” as – what’s that word again? – phenomenal.

BEST LOCAL COMMUNITY THEATER Theatre Jacksonville Finalists: Players by the Sea, The 5 & Dime, A Theatre Company

Since 1919, Theatre Jacksonville, or Theatre Jax, has been offering locals enjoyable (and affordable!) theatrical productions. Located on the strip in San Marco, Theatre Jax is one of the oldest, volunteer-based and community theaters in the nation. From Shakespeare to their cutting-edge Guerilla Show Series, the theater’s shows encompass everything from slaphappy comedy to dark drama. In addition, Theatre Jax holds regular auditions so even schlubs like you can go “Full Ethel Merman” on stage, while their education outreach programs encourage the next wave of young whippersnappers to take a crack at emoting in yonder spotlight.

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cool, decades of experience, and a healthy dose of humor, Colaciello is on point as a drama teacher, writer and ensemble player, and equally adept at starring in her onewoman shows. With original works like the autobiographical Life on the Diagonal and the history-driven plays Sustaining Beauty and This Seat’s Taken, Colaciello flexes the same skills as both playwright and performer.

Talented, encouraging and funny as hell, Colaciello embodies the very best of local theater; and our readers agree.

BEST LOCAL DANCE CLUB The Loft Finalists: Mavericks Live, Myth, Eclipse

Heading out for a night of dancing keeps getting more particular. Dance floors get smaller, clubs get more niche-based, and DJs have more power and control than ever before. That’s what makes The Loft so special.

Without boasting a giant dance floor or a mega-shit-ton of trippy effects, the friendly, neighborhood atmosphere at The Loft is what makes it the floor that Northeast Florida has chosen as the top spot to get their groove on.

BEST CLUB DJ Autrelle Holland Finalists: DJ Nick Fresh, DJ EL, DJ Lurk City

In the age of iTunes, spinning has become more than just choosing the next song; it’s about knowing what the people respond to, and how to match the rhythms of their bodies in sync with the flavor of an ever-morphing crowd. According to our readers, DJ Autrelle Holland more than fits the bill to pump up the volume and make the dance floor come alive.

BEST LOCAL ACTOR Barbara Colaciello

BEST GAY/LESBIAN CLUB The Metro

Finalists: Josh Waller, Yoanna House

Finalists: In Cahoots, Park Place

Northeast Florida boasts an impressive theatrical community, and if we have a spearhead of that very same scene, it is surely Barbara Colaciello. Combining NYC

What is there to say about Metro that we haven’t already said here in the pages

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of Folio Weekly Magazine for decades?

Way before the current LGBTQ scene emerged, The Metro was Northeast Florida’s destination for the fiercest and most fabulous, for sure. But the thing that’s always separated it from the rest has been its ability to keep the party hot, real and open to everyone, regardless of their orientation. Some (good) things never change.

BEST LOCAL DRAG STAR BeBe Deluxe Finalists: Twinkie, Karissa T. Wade

Drag is more than just entertainment; it’s a state of mind, a way of bringing out a unique and vibrant part of a performer’s spirit so that it can reach out and touch each and every member of the audience in a way they won’t forget. (No, not that way, bitches.) For every diva born, there’s a diva who’s created herself in her own image and figured out how to share that with everyone. Take a bow, BeBe Deluxe, for you have been crowned Northeast Florida’s Drag Queen of 2016 by Folio Weekly Magazine readers!

BEST LOCAL COSPLAY EVENT GAAM Finalists: WasabiCon, Collective Con

There’s a certain something that sets the cosplay set apart and yet binds them together, kind of like The Force. Gaming, sci-fi, fantasy, comics and more come together every year at the GAAM (Games Art and Music) Festival, and our readers have taken notice. Growing every year like a quadrotriticale grain storage bin full of tribbles, GAAM has become the number one choice of our readers.

BEST LOCAL COSPLAYER Jenifer Ann Finalists: Candy Keane, Jenna Esposito

This kitty had us at “meow.” A selfdescribed costumer/cosplayer, host, artist and promotional model is a chameleon of characters, somehow pulling off a diverse spectrum that includes Princess Leia, Wonder Woman, Supergirl, a pretty kitty and much, much more. She’s a one-woman powerhouse who makes appearances all over the country, in character, of course.

FWM readers’ choice for Best Local Cosplayer, Jenifer Ann, is so transformative, bet you wouldn’t recognize her if you passed her on the street.

BEST COMEDY CLUB The Comedy Zone Finalists: The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, Rain dogs.

Confession time: We <3 to laugh. What?

You thought we were gonna get all personal and start lamenting our long-lost days as the caboose of a human centipede? Pshaw.

OK, confession: We were the cream filling.

Anyway, speaking of jokes, Comedy Zone is no joke, dominating this category every year save one since we rolled it out in the dim past of yesteryear. So check ’em out in Mandarin.

Wait, seriously, Mandarin? Guess that little burg is cooler than we thought.

BEST LOCAL COMEDIAN Adam Hartle Finalists: Patrick Carson, Mark Alan

There are some strong beliefs that many comedians are essentially terminally depressed, mood-disorder-plagued, drugand-booze addicted, approval-seeking death-trippers. And that’s just our local

Looking to gain quality knowledge at the Best Local College? Check out the University of North Florida!

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church comedians, like Rev. Ricky Chuckles.

We don’t know what his current lithium blood levels are, but we do know that when Folio Weekly readers wanna get a good laugh and humorous break from the soul-crushing wheel of constant misery called life, they sit back and enjoy the mirthful merriment of Adam Hartle!

BEST GENTLEMEN’S CLUB Gold Club Finalists: Wackos, Doll House

Open every day until 2 a.m., Gold Club on General Doolittle Drive in Arlington is your favorite place for a lap dance, bottle service and Friday buffet. “We excel at providing sexy entertainment … Witness perfection!” the gentlemen’s club promotes on their website. Yelp user Charles K. said of the club, “I’ll definitely go back. The women were gorgeous and knew how to actually do pole tricks!” From dancing ladies to a New York strip steak, there’s a bit of something for everyone at Gold Club.

BEST YOGA STUDIO Lotus Yoga Finalists: Yoga Den, Big Fish Power Yoga

It might seem antithetical to rank the offerings of a discipline that places balance above all things, but when our readers need to get their mellowed black chick spines back in place – as well as open their chakras and find their centers – their number one choice is Lotus Yoga in the heart of Avondale. Headed up by Bethany Crawley and Bonnie Currie, Lotus Yoga’s community-based approach brings hearts, minds and bodies together in harmony.

BEST FESTIVAL Springing The Blues Finalists: Jacksonville Jazz Festival, Isle of Eight Flags Shrimp Festival

Once again, promoter Sam Veal and company brought some serious blues to sunny Jax Beach this past spring. The world’s largest (and only) free, outdoor, oceanfront blues music festival, for more than 25 years, Springing the Blues has been turning the beach shoreline into a raging juke joint. The festival has consistently attracts true blues legends like Charlie Musselwhite and Earl King, contemporary torch carriers like Susan Tedeschi and North Mississippi Allstars, and plenty of local blues action. Always free, always fun, Springing the Blues remains a winning cornerstone of good (and real) music in Northeast Florida.

BEST SURF SPOT The Poles Finalists: Jax Beach Pier, Jax Beach

Northeast Florida’s surfing mecca is technically within K.A. Hanna Park — there are real wooden poles at the boundary between the park and Naval Station Mayport, and surfers know to stay south of the line — it’s that or get the U.S. Navy on their ass. #NationalIncident The Poles are parallel to the Jetties, two manmade constructs that take the St. Johns River to the Atlantic Ocean. That accounts for the bitchin waves so popular for locals and GDTs, who travel to NEFL by the truckload. Apparently there are FW readers among the paddlers, because they’ve dubbed The Poles as the Best Surf Spot once again.

BEST FISHING SPOT Jax Beach Pier Finalists: The Jetties, Sisters Creek

The structure extends almost a quarter-mile over the ocean at Fifth Avenue North, and fisherfolk are hooking kingfish, drum, whiting, sheepshead — if it swims, it’s there. Open 6 a.m.-10 p.m. April-November, till 7 p.m.

December-March; $4 to fish, $1 to watch; kids under six free. No shark fishing — and watch out for surfers, who allegedly know they’re not supposed to get near the pilings. Yes, there are shade areas, bathrooms and a bait shop. Check jacksonvillebeach.org for rules and stuff.

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BEST LOCAL COLLEGE University of North Florida

Finalists: Jacksonville University, Florida State College of Jacksonville

Did you know that the University of North Florida counts more than 15,000 undergraduate and graduate students? That’s a lot of learning going down. From the Brooks College of Health to the Coggin College of Business, UNF is continuing to attract national attention for its faculty, educational programs and campus life. For the sixth consecutive year, the U.S. News & World Report has named UNF a “Best Regional” university in its 2017 edition of “Best Colleges.” It also has one of the top nursing schools in the Southeast and has received accolades for its diversity and inclusion efforts. Well done, UNF!

BEST DAY SPA Seventh Wonder Holistic Spa Finalists: Dr. Clayman’s Miracle Spa, Ponte Vedra Inn & Club

According to the only source we trust, Wikipedia, “a spa is a location where mineralrich spring water (and sometimes seawater) is used to give medicinal baths.” So, basically, skinny-dipping. Yeah, we’re thinking that Seventh Wonder Holistic Spa, with its Ayurvedic and holistic treatments, facials and massages in a tranquil East-meets-West setting on St. Johns Avenue offers a far more blissful experience than just nude bathing. Check out their chakrabalancing, aqua chi and hot stone therapy, too.

BEST HAIRSTYLIST Cameron Rachel at Sutra Salon Finalists: Dolan Smith at Dolan Smith Salon, Abigail Waltz at Verde Eco-Salon

It took Cameron Rachel only a little less than five years to catapult to the top of the list as Best Hairstylist in NEFL. “I always did hair growing up and I loved it and I decided, that’s my thing, I love a big hair,” she said. At Jax Beach’s Sutra Salon, Rachel loves turning out textured, messy dos that have that lived-in (read: sexy) look. In her staff profile on Sutra Salon’s website, this fun chick with serious moxie writes that she loves the nighttime because “Everything good happens after 12!” We so agree.

BEST HAIR SALON Daniel James Salon

Finalists: Aura, Verde Eco-Salon

Whether you’re looking for a professional cut, fashionable coiffure, or possibly even an EmoPhillips-Pete-Rose-style bowl cut (it never goes out of style!), Folio Weekly readers strongly suggest you take your luscious-albeit-lusterless locks to Downtown’s very own Daniel James Salon. With a skilled, friendly staff on board, this truly indie and hip cuttery does it all, from a quick lunchtime trim to a complete color 26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 4, 2016

change and makeover. Since Daniel James Salon is mere feet away from the Folio Weekly HQ and Brain Trust, it’s no surprise that more than one of our fashion-trend-starting-staffers has had “hair done did” at this boss salon.

BEST PLASTIC SURGEON Dr. Michael J. Duffy

Finalists: Loren Clayman, Dr. Clayman’s Plastic Surgery Center; Lewis Obi, Obi Plastic Surgery

A rose by any other name may smell as sweet, but a wilted flower is a wilted flower no matter what you call it. So if you’re feeling wilted, aged or just plain unhappy with the form staring back at you in the mirror, see this year’s Best Plastic Surgeon, Dr. Michael J. Duffy of Jacksonville Cosmetic & Reconstructive Surgery Center, about turning that self-image around. With nearly 30 years of surgical experience, 20 in plastics, you’ll be in the steadiest hands with Dr. Duffy.

BEST DOCTOR Loren Clayman

Finalists: Megan Deacon-Chasey, Victor Micolucci

There must be some beautimous Northeast Floridians walking around because we’ve voted plastic surgeon Loren Clayman the Best Doctor in all the riverland (and the oceanland and the pine forest and the – you get the drift). Specializing in all types of plastic, reconstructive and cosmetic surgery, the good doctor and the team at Dr. Clayman’s Plastic Surgery Center can give you that oh-so-fresh and gorgeous feeling.

BEST TEACHER(S) Ashley Turner & Lindsey Upchurch, Jacksonville Country Day School

Finalists: Sarah Colado, Mandarin Middle School; Sarah Manning

Ashley Turner and Lindsey Upchurch from Jacksonville Country Day School taught their students and our staffers a thing or two about counting, because the FW gang was beyond disbelief that they could possibly have gotten the same exact number of votes. But it’s official; these two elementary school teachers are hereby officially recognized for mastering the art of imbuing the next generation with knowledge, behavioral and other critical life skills. There is something magical about two teachers from the same school sharing the title of Best Teacher.

BEST VETERINARIAN Saint Francis Animal Hospital Finalists: San Juan Animal Hospital, Hidden Hills Animal Hospital

Local pets are raving about the quality care they receive at Saint Francis Animal Hospital.

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If you’re in need of supplies to catch some sick waves or rays, check out Best Local Surf Shop Aqua East in Neptune Beach.

<<< FROM PREVIOUS This not-for-profit clinic offers a wide range of affordable services, from comprehension exams to hyperbaric oxygen treatment — the only one in town. Under the direction of Dr. Susan Shelton, the medical staff treats every patient with tender, loving care — and has been doing so since 2003. Its new facility on Atlantic Boulevard boasts a grooming space, boarding section, and retail area. Annual events help to raise awareness and funds for the hospital.

BEST LOCAL BOOK STORE Chamblin Bookmine

Finalists: The BookMark, Barnes & Noble Whether you’re looking for a book on gardening, holistic health, some William Blake verse, or a grimoire of Aleister Crowley spells and rituals (and who isn’t?), Chamblin Books remains the one-stop place to spend an hour (or day) browsing through untold thousands of new and used books. Whether hitting Chamblin Bookmine on the Westside, or Chamblin Uptown in the heart of Downtown, local book lovers, word nerds, and people just wanting to kill some time in a true literary environment know right where to go.

BEST SURF SHOP Aqua East Surf Shop

Finalists: Sunrise Surf Shop, Driftwood Surf Shop

In case you haven’t noticed, there’s this big, beautiful, dynamic body of water on our eastern border keeping us from, like, walking to Europe. Unless you got them Jeebus skills, in which case, walk on (and turn this glass of water into vino, please). Northeast Floridians love the Atlantic Ocean so much that many of us try hoisting ourselves onto foam boards and conquering the mighty waves! For all your wave-conquering needs, check out Aqua East Surf Shop at its two locations. They’re winners!

BEST MASSAGE THERAPIST Holly Cooper

Finalists: Renee Haire, Kimber Medrano Let’s not kid ourselves — the human body is a meat-bag prison of illness, injury and pain. But sometimes we get to feed it cake.

Regardless, when Folio Weekly readers want to get a seriously soothing and vituperative massage, they head for the healing hands of Holly Cooper! Is it her deft, precise touch?

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Her soothing conversation? Maybe it’s the scented oils. Who knows? What we do know is that our readers have spoken. And, by God, they love Holly Cooper!

BEST JEWELRY STORE Underwood’s Jewelers Finalists: Beard’s Jewelry, Faith Jewelers, Miriam’s Jewelry

With three locations stretching from the Southside to the seaside, Underwood’s Jewelers is fine jewelry personified. That’s why they’ve dominated Best of Jax every single year since its 1991 inception. After over eight decades in business, it’s no wonder the timeless appeal of this local gem of a company originally founded in Palatka has won FW readers’ hearts and votes. Speaking of timeless appeal, did you know that jewelry has been worn since prehistoric times, when our best guess is that it was worn for much the same reason as today: positive omens, protection, status symbols, love and, of course, ’cause it’s gorgeous? Truth.

BEST INN/B&B IN JACKSONVILLE Riverdale Inn

Finalists: The Dickert House Bed & Breakfast, St. Johns House Bed & Breakfast

Have you ever wished that you could go back in time and live like a baron? Well, at The Riverdale Inn on Riverside Avenue you can rest your head in the same space as turpentine baron William Kelly, who built the now-impeccably refurbished mansion in 1901 when he was one of the members of a group of elites known as The Gum Bunch (we are not making this up). With tastefully appointed rooms and suites, a quintessential Southern porch perfect for cooling heels and imbibing light refreshment after a leisurely day taking in the sights, you’ll feel every bit the baron or baroness of old at The Riverdale Inn.

BEST INN/B&B ON AMELIA ISLAND Elizabeth Pointe Lodge Finalists: Fairbanks House, Addison House

Just one glimpse of the stunning seaside inn Elizabeth Pointe Lodge on Amelia

Island’s Fletcher Avenue and you’ll start dreaming of long, luxurious days and sweet, tranquil nights when your most pressing concern is whether to have the vegetable frittata, fruit and yogurt or stuffed French toast for breakfast. With wraparound porches, beach chairs aplenty and all the privacy you want, this Nantucket-style inn is the stuff vacation and conference dreams are made of.

BEST INN/B&B IN ST. AUGUSTINE Casablanca Inn

Finalists: Kenwood Inn, Carriage Way Bed & Breakfast

Spend some time at the Casablanca Inn looking out over the Bridge of Lions and the historic and romantic Matanzas bayfront view and you’ll experience just the beginning of what led our readers to choose it as their favorite B&B in St. Augustine. Exquisite accommodations, delightful dining and a relaxed but elegant atmosphere all make for a memorable getaway.

BEST HEALTH CLUB/GYM YMCA Finalists: Bailey’s, Snap Fitness

The YMCA is far more than just a gym. It’s a leading nonprofit committed to building healthy lifestyles in our community. Each ‘Y’ is equipped with exercise machines, weight room, and stretching areas, so there are plenty of ways to work up a sweat. Stop in to any of the numerous local YMCAs and sign up for a session with a personal trainer who can nudge you toward your fitness goals. If water is your thing, some locations even have Olympic pools for swimming laps. Take a class, train with friends, work out in the fitness center — try it all at the Y.

BEST HOSPITAL St. Vincent’s HealthCare

Finalists: Baptist Medical Center, Mayo Clinic

Celebrating its centennial anniversary this year, St. Vincent’s Healthcare has soared to the top of the list of hospitals in Northeast Florida. At their three locations in the area, St. Vincent’s provides full service tertiary care for patients of all ages and conditions.

And with the recent opening of the Gary & Nancy Chartrand Heart & Vascular Center, you can be sure that its heart is in the right, cutting-edge place: right on the forefront of cardiovascular care.

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Commuter, racer or just a kid (at heart or for real), Riverside’s ZenCog Bicycle Company can keep you two-wheeling the streets in comfort and style, that’s why our readers have named them the Best Bicycle Shop.

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<<< FROM PREVIOUS

BEST DIVE SHOP Divers Supply

Finalists: Sea Hunt Scuba, Atlantic Pro Divers

Open here since the mid-’80s, Divers Supply offers every aspect related to SCUBA (SelfContained Underwater Breathing Apparatus) diving you’ll ever need: all the gear, several classes, trips to beaches, caves and springs far and wide, and certifications. We can just picture our readers strapping on a tank or two and flippering through exotic waters, only to freak at the sight of a shark or moray just feet away, lurking in the reef. Check your gauges and rise.

BEST FARMERS MARKET Riverside Arts Market

Finalists: Jacksonville Farmers Market, Beaches Green Market

Ever have a Saturday mood like you want to have a beer, listen to music, do the shopping and pick up a nicey-nice for your best pal — oh, and bring your dog along for a relaxing stroll along the river ’cause Fido be humping way too many legs these days? Yeah, us, too. Apparently we’re not the only ones, ’cause the readers have again voted Riverside Arts Market — or RAM — as the Best Farmers Market in the 904. Check it out Saturdays under the Fuller Warren Bridge, rain or shine. Bonus: They keep it legit local.

BEST DANCE STUDIO Dance Trance

Finalists: Scott Jones School of Dance, Mark Spivak’s Institute & Dance Extension, Nancy Dance Studio

If you’ve ever been behind someone wearing a Dance Trance T-shirt, odds are you couldn’t look away. With three locations in Northeast

Another year, another win for Grease Rags Clothing Co. — this time for both Best Clothing Store and Best Vintage Clothing!

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Florida, the crew at Dance Trance is well, um, endowed with the ability to get us to bust a move like no one’s watching. While wearing stretch pants. Originally created as a workout program for lovers of music and song, 2016’s Best Dance Studio has classes for all ages, types and abilities. Even, we’re told, writers.

BEST PLACE TO BUY A CAR Tom Bush Family of Dealerships Finalists: Coggin Automotive Group, CarMax

Hit the road, Jack Kerouac! When Folio Weekly readers want to cruise the road in style, they aim their pogo sticks toward Tom Bush! With five locations in Northeast Florida, Tom Bush offers the best in new and pre-owned top gear BMW, Mazda, Mini and Volkswagen vehicles. If you have “Mad Max”tendencies or are simply a clumsy liability on the highway, Tom Bush also has a top-flight collision center to help repair your nowtotaled jalopy.

BEST BIKE SHOP ZenCog Bicycle Company Finalists: Open Road, City Cycle

Located in Riverside, ZenCog Bicycle Company gets top props from Folio Weekly readers who want to hit the street on a top quality, reliable, and affordable bike. The shop offers two dozen trusted brands and can also hook you up with a primo used cycle. ZenCog also offers maintenance and services ranging from fixing a flat tire to a total two-wheel upgrade. Whether you’re looking to navigate Northeast Florida’s streets or hit the trails, ZenCog can hook you up with a affordable and durable bicycle.

BEST COMIC BOOK STORE Superhero Hive

Finalists: Gotham, Mystical Mountain

People who think comics are just for kids have a whole lot to learn. With sales of $579 million in 2015 alone, comics remain a global, cultural and creative juggernaut. Whether you’re a stone Dark Knight geek, have Manga issues, or are an old-school R. Crumb hippie, chances are Superhero Hive can hook you up. If they don’t have it in stock, they’ll order it quick, and this Riverside joint (with a sister shop in Jax Beach) keeps the titles current and fresh, with new comics zipping in the door on a daily basis. And where else can you get locked in a passionate discussion about John Byrne’s much-under-heralded, 1980s-era, Canadianmutant-superhero comic, Alpha Flight?! We mean, other than the methadone clinic?

BEST SKATE SHOP The Block Skate Supply Shop

Finalists: Aqua East, Kona Skate Park

Skate and destroy (barring you’re over 40)!

Considered a kind of headquarters and tribal center for local skaters, particularly in the shop’s home base in Riverside, The Block Skate Supply Shop maintains a total indie/DIY vibe, proving that skateboarding is not a crime — it’s nearly a mystic devotion. From newbie to skateboard magus, the shop offers all of the required gear you’ll need, from decks to wheels and helmets, along with skating lessons, and hosts numerous contests each year. If you’re gonna skin your knees, you might as well do it armed with the best boards offered by the shop that Folio Weekly readers give the highest hosannas.

BEST VINTAGE CLOTHING BEST CLOTHING STORE Grease Rags Clothing Co.

Vintage Clothing Finalists: That Poor Girl Vintage, Goodwill Clothing Store Finalists: Momni Boutique & Attractions, Rosenblum’s

There’s a fine fashion line between sassy, snazzy bohemian and deranged, slobbery derelict. And while Folio Weekly staffers proudly (and drunkenly) literally fall into the latter camp, our readers are hip and astute enough to shop for duds at Grease Rags Clothing Co. This San Marco boutique boasts a staggeringly good collection of retro-style, rockabilly-leaning clothes and accessories that can help hotwire your bland wardrobe. What’s more, if your hair is edging toward the Captain Caveman look, an onsite barbershop will keep your now-fallen-fade high and tight once again.

BEST HEALTH FOOD STORE Native Sun Natural Foods Market

Finalists: Grassroots Natural Market, Whole Foods Market

“Ignore your health and it will go away,” remarked some overly healthy, cocky asshole. But as we type this with HFC-induced-shaking, cheesepuff-residue-covered fingers, we do know, like our readers, that if we are looking for healthier alternatives, we need to drag our bloated bodies to Native Sun Natural Foods Market. From fresh juices and vitamins and supplements to raw foods, organic produces and equally “chemicalfree” meats, Native Sun remains the beacon for healthier dietary options. So whether you’re a soy newbie or in a full-blown “tempeh” tantrum, the helpful staff at Native Sun will help you eat better without flat-lining your wallet.

BEST TATTOO STUDIO Inksmith and Rogers

Finalists: Sunday Tattoo Gallery, Black Hive Tattoo

Domination doesn’t quite describe what Inksmith and Rogers does in this category.

But considering the stellar ink our readers are wearing and watching walk around Northeast Florida courtesy of the skillful ink-slingers at this multi-location powerhouse of tattooing, it’s easy to see why. Word on the street is our editor sports an Inksmith and Rogers piece by Mike Wilson, just one of their many amazing artistes.

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ginger liqueur and ginger beer. For Bush, carefully crafting drinks like these is just part of her responsibilities as one of Dos Gatos’ master mixologists. The other is hospitality.

“It’s definitely an honor to be picked by the city,” said Bush. “I’ve learned from a lot of great bartenders and winning just makes me want to learn more about the craft to share with my guests.” Cheers!

BEST BBQ Mojo Bar-B-Que

Finalists: The Bearded Pig, 4 Rivers Smokehouse

According to Smithsonian Magazine, the evolution of American barbecue stems from a Caribbean cooking style brought north by Spanish conquistadors. And boy, we sure are glad the art of “cooking meat low and slow over indirect flame” caught on. For the best ribs, pulled pork shoulder, beef brisket, smoked turkey and all the fixins you can manage, check out Mojo Bar-B-Que. With five locations from Fleming Island to St. Augustine, Mojo has proved they know what’s up when it comes to — what has become — an American tradition.

BEST ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT Golden Corral Finalists: Fuji Sushi, CiCi’s Pizza

Go big or go home, right? When our readers’ appetites drive them into an Oprah-like feeding frenzy, they put the pedal to the metal and blaze a trail for Golden Corral, our readers’ 2016 AYCE winner. Because nothing exceeds like excess, the GC offers an ever-increasing cornucopia of nearly any imaginable edible, from a massive salad bar of fresh veggies to a chocolate fountain and hand-spun cotton candy. Basically speaking, if you can’t find it and all-you-can-eat it there, you’re probably better off without it. Oh, and one more thing… yeast rolls!

BEST BAGEL Bagel Love

Finalists: Panera, Einstein Bros. Bagels

Finding love on a street corner in Avondale is easy — just stop by Bagel Love. This small shop on Herschel Street has been cranking out some of the city’s best bagels since 2012.

With 20 varieties from which to choose, there’s no shortage on flavors. Even the schmear has variety. If bagels aren’t your shtick, you can nosh on a sandwich or salad from the menu — vegetarian options are available, too. The fresh-squeezed orange juice is fabulous and coffee refills are free. Outdoor seating is dogfriendly, so bring your pup, too. Breakfast and lunch are served daily, always with a smile.

BEST BAKERY Sweet Theory Baking Co. Finalists: Cinotti’s Bakery, Community Loaves

“If music be the food of love, play on,” whines Duke Orsino in Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night.

Music? The food of love? WTF??!?! Everyone knows that chocolate is the food of love, and according to our readers’ trained confectionary palates, nobody locally does the sweet thang better than Sweet Theory. Nestled in a cozy nook of Riverside, Sweet Theory delivers the goods in the form of cupcakes, donuts, pastries and all the sugary and spicy baked goods your heart -- and tongue – desire.

BEST BAR FOOD BEST BEER SELECTION BEST LATE NIGHT SPOT Kickbacks Gastropub Best Bar Food Finalists: The Garage, Players Grill Best Beer Selection Finalists: Rain dogs., Alewife Craft Beer Bottle Shop Best Late Night Spot Finalists: Rain dogs., Mellow Mushroom Pizza Bakers

The iconic Riverside place claims to have “one of the biggest and best beer selections in the world,” and FW readers agree. Bottles from around the globe hang from the ceiling 34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 4, 2016

— it’s like picking fruit from a tree, only funner.

(That’s a word, right?) Bar fare means pizza, paninis, pasta, sandwiches and breakfast items — Kickbacks is open 7 a.m. till 3 a.m.

And that closing time explains the Best Late Night honor bestowed upon them. Adjacent to the 100-year-old building is Goozlepipe & Guttyworks, a steampunkish joint with local artwork and, like, more than 11 million pennies throughout the décor. They’re rich!

BEST BARISTA Christopher Paul at Bold Bean Coffee Roasters

Finalists: Mike Ricci at Brew, Victoria Berg at Southern Grounds

Comedian Lewis Black said, “I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.” For those of us looking for a little pickme-up in the form of a cup of joe, Christopher Paul at Bold Bean Coffee Roasters is our readers’ favorite go-to barista. Bold Bean, which has locations on Stockton Street and in South Third Street in Jax Beach, serves lattes, cappuccinos and any other frothy concoction you can imagine. “It’s an awesome feeling to be recognized for doing something that I truly love,” said Paul. “Thanks, Jacksonville, for waking up with me and allowing me to keep y’all caffeinated on a daily basis.”

BEST NEIGHBORHOOD BAR IN JACKSONVILLE BEST NEIGHBORHOOD BAR IN ST. AUGUSTINE BEST HAPPY HOUR BEST BARTENDER/ MIXOLOGIST Dos Gatos, Samantha Bush

Bartender Finalists: Johnna Nobles at Sliders Seafood Grille, Kurt Rogers at Sidecar, Amanda Steele at The Flying Iguana Neighborhood Bar/Jax Finalists: Sidecar, Birdies Neighborhood Bar/St. Aug Finalists: Ice Plant Bar, Tradewinds Happy Hour Finalists: Restaurant Orsay, European Street

There are many reasons to love Dos Gatos.

In fact, this year FW readers gave the craft cocktail lounge with locations in Downtown Jacksonville (across from Florida Theatre) and downtown St. Augustine four accolades with bragging rights. Two Cats (English translation from Spanish) is this year’s Best Neighborhood Bar in Jacksonville, Best Neighborhood Bar in St. Augustine, Best Happy Hour and one of their master mixologists, Samantha Bush, has been named Best Bartender. So what makes them so great? Well, they serve booze. That’s pretty awesome. Check out signature drinks like a Pegu Club with lime, orange bitters, Plymouth Gin and a dash of Cointreau.

There’s also the Red Dawn, with fresh seasonal berries, Russian Standard vodka,

BEST BREAKFAST BEST BRUNCH BEST COMFORT FOOD Metro Diner

Best Breakfast Finalists: Maple Street Biscuit Co., The Fox Best Brunch Finalists: Black Sheep, Restaurant Orsay Best Comfort Food Finalists: Soul Food Bistro, Maple Street Biscuit Co.

You know you’re onto something special when your business appeals to people in a way that makes them want to eat their French toast with strangers. If there’s any truth at all to that idea (and there is, believe us), then Metro Diner is knocking it out of the park when it comes to creating a personal, home-spun and intimate feeling to serving their fare. Folio Weekly readers voted them the tops in breakfast, brunch and overall “comfort food,” which surely means that if you have to leave the house to eat before noon (or after – their lunch and dinner meals are delicious, too), you have better be headed to Metro.

BEST BURGER IN ORANGE PARK/FLEMING ISLAND/ GREEN COVE SPRINGS Five Guys Burgers and Fries

Finalists: The Loop, Longhorn Steakhouse There’s something to be said for success, and Five Guys has the formula down pat when it comes down to the hungry hearts of Clay County. The combination of handcrafted burgers and fries and consistent quality has made them a “fast casual” hit from coast to coast since 1986, and it’s no exception in the 904. When OP, Fleming Island and GCS crave a beefy treat that’s convenient, cost effective and created just the way they want it, Five Guys delivers.

BEST BURGER IN JACKSONVILLE BEST BURGER IN ST. AUGUSTINE Cruisers Grill

Jacksonville: M Shack, Derby on Park St. Augustine: Gas Full Service Restaurant Ice Plant Bar

From the minivan’s rear, a plaintive chant: “Cheddafriezcheddafriezcheddafriez …”

They’ve been swimming, sandcastling and annoying lifeguards all day — now the kids are “Staaaarving, Mom!” Denying nourishment is frowned upon, so, to quote Jimmy Buffett, “Goodgadamighty, which way do I steer?” Easy — go to Cruisers Grill, in South Jax Beach, Lakewood or across from the fort in St. Augustine. The burgers (several varieties) are grilled to order and, yes, they have cheddar fries. Plus salads, wraps, tacos and nachos. FW readers declare Cruisers flips the best burgers in Duval and St. Johns counties.

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The people have spoken and Al’s Pizza is the tops – winning Best Italian, Best Pizza in Jax and St. Augustine in the Best of Jax readers’ poll.

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BEST BURGER ON AMELIA ISLAND Tasty’s Fresh Burgers & Fries

Finalists: V Pizza, Gators Dockside

Tasty’s Fresh Burgers & Fries, one of the newer burger joints on the island, may not have the pedigree (yet!) of other more venerable spots in the area, but it’s not lacking for flavor or options. Daily specials and a wacky crew give the restaurant on the corner of Eighth and Centre a leg up on the dining experience.

Way back when, wings weren’t considered edible chicken parts. Boy, has that goofy notion vanished — and Dick’s Wings & Grill, its empire begun right here, has perfected the art of wings to earn the title of Best Chicken Wings once again. Dick’s serves 365 varieties of ’em at 22 locations, to a rough tally of 25,000 a day. Whew! Add burgers, beers, wraps, kids’ menu and apps, and it’s easy to see why FW readers like Dick’s.

BEST BURRITO Burrito Gallery

BEST COCKTAIL SELECTION Sidecar

Finalists: T-Ray’s Burger Station, Sliders Seaside Grill

Finalists: Lola’s Burrito & Burger Joint, Mossfire Grill & Lounge

Perhaps Yelp user Chris B. summed it up best when he said of Burrito Gallery, “I was pretty drunk when I went in here, but I was very pleased with my (over) order. Give the shrimp tacos a shot.” Chris, we’ve all been there.

For the best burrito in town — sober or not — Burrito Gallery has you covered. And now with three locations, in Downtown, Riverside and Jax Beach, there are thrice as many places to chomp down on a burrito stuffed with Cajun shrimp, steak, curry chicken or whatever else your little heart desires.

BEST CARIBBEAN Island Tropics Restaurant Finalists: De Real Ting Café, Bahama Breeze

It’s a little bit of a hike to get all the way up north to reach Island Tropics Restaurant, this year’s voters choice for Best Caribbean food, but what you spend in time to get there you get back in immense portion sizes and authentic Caribbean classics like Oxtail, Jerk Chicken And Caribbean Curries. And on the bright side, you can take a tour of Springfield on your way there.

BEST CHEF Chef Tom Gray at Moxie Kitchen + Cocktails

Finalists: Chef Don Fagen at Sliders Seaside Grill, Chef Matthew Medure at Matthew’s Restaurant

A two-time James Beard Award-nominee, Chef Tom Gray, owner and executive chef at Moxie Kitchen + Cocktails, serves American cuisine with a twist at his eatery at The Markets at Town Center. Try the Charred Tomato Gazpacho, Housemade Pastrami Or Handmade Gnocchi With Smoked Mozzarella. “This is a very meaningful recognition for the work that my team and I do every day of quality sourcing, careful preparation and serving our dishes with pride,” said Chef Tom of his fifth win.

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BEST CHICKEN WINGS Dick’s Wings & Grill

Finalists: Dos Gatos, Restaurant Orsay

Self-described as an urban beer garden and cocktail bar in the heart of San Marco, Sidecar has helped shape the landscape of drinking culture in Northeast Florida. Using housemade syrups, shrubs, liqueurs, tinctures and limoncello, this crew knows how to make a serious cocktail. Try a McLaury’s Daisy with mezcal, Cocchi Rosa, strawberry, lime and egg white, or opt for a classic like a Vesper, featuring gin, vodka and Cocchi Americano. Either way, it’s bound to be delicious (and intoxicating).

BEST COFFEE HOUSE Bold Bean Coffee Roasters

Finalists: Brew Five Points, Starbucks

Bold Bean Coffee Roasters’ cachet as a reputable coffee establishment not only in Riverside but in greater Jacksonville can be properly attributed to its fine product and the baristas’ intense training. With a couple locations in town and a third on the way, plus its very own local roaster (surprise!), Bold Bean continues to be the standard bearer for local cuppas.

BEST DELI Pinegrove Market & Deli

Finalists: Sandwich Depot, D&G

Never mind Pinegrove Market & Deli’s familial legacy in the city of Jacksonville. Never mind their high standards for fresh-butchered meat.

Hell, never mind the venerable old building that’s been serving as the business’ home for decades. What you really ought to pay attention to are the fabulous deli sandwiches that have lasted the test of generations — and the new dinner menu. Did we mention high standards for fresh-butchered meat?

BEST DESSERT Biscottis

Finalists: Tres Leches, bb’s restaurant & bar

Avondale’s upper-end dining establishment

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<<< FROM PREVIOUS of choice, Biscottis, has always been well known for its desserts, and rightly so. The off-site bakery that produces sweets solely for Biscottis and its sister restaurants hire only well-taught culinary bakers with formal training.

Try the signature Bread Pudding, Carrot Cake, Grand Marnier Tropical Cake, or any of many other confectionary masterpieces, and you’ll know why FW readers picked it again this year and why they keep going back.

BEST FISH CAMP Clark’s Fish Camp

Finalists: Whitey’s Fish Camp, North Beach Fish Camp

Since the 1930s, simple sheds along the rivers of the southern United States have transformed from bait-and-tackle shops to full-fledged restaurants offering the local catch. Today, as in many years past, Clark’s Fish Camp is the 904’s favorite place to enjoy a seafood bake or soft shell crab. It’s partly due to the fish camp’s infamously eclectic atmosphere, including exotic taxidermy from around the world and a live alligator exhibit.

If you’re feeling extra-adventurous, order the charred ostrich appetizer or bison mountain oysters (fried bison testicles). Yum!

BEST FOOD TRUCK BEST SANDWICH The Happy Grilled Cheese

Food Truck Finalists: On the Fly, Burger 88 Sandwich Finalists: Angie’s Subs, Chomp Chomp The people have spoken: With a 4.9 out of 5 rating on Facebook and sandwiches folks can’t stop talking about, The Happy Grilled Cheese is a no-brainer for Best Food Truck (three times and counting) and, this year, Best Sandwich in Northeast Florida! This grilled-cheese-mobile is often found at the Jax Food Truck Food Court on Beach Boulevard, but it makes special appearances around town. Its menu changes weekly, but tried-and-true standards some Folio Weekly readers prefer are Mayport Melt (provolone, shrimp and corn salad, lettuce and tomato in a grilled pita) and the Mac n’ Cheese grilled sandwich.

BEST FROZEN YOGURT sweetFrog Premium Frozen Yogurt Finalists: Yobe Frozen Yogurt, Mochi Frozen Yogurt

SweetFrog Premium Frozen Yogurt has ridden

FWM readers’ choice for Best Chef, Chef Tom Gray, puts his delectable spin on contemporary regional fare at Moxie Kitchen + Cocktails in SJTC. 38 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 4, 2016

its wacky Kermit-like mascot all the way to the favored taste buds of Folio Weekly readers, who this year voted it the Best Frozen Yogurt in Northeast Florida. With numerous locations around town, there are many opportunities to go find out why the flavors, toppings and endless combinations are among our readers’ favorite icy sweet treats.

BEST HOT DOG, BEST MOVIE THEATER Sun-Ray Cinema Hot Dog Finalists: Hot Dog Hut, Hot Dog Jenn Movie Theater Finalists: Cinemark, AMC Theatre

Hot dogs always taste better when you’re watching something great — sports, movies, Basketball Wives, you name it, it makes a wiener taste better. In this case, it’s not a baseball game but one of the various flicks, documentaries and more you can catch at Sun-Ray Cinema in Five Points. Not a misprint: A movie theater has the best hot dog in the city.

Pick a flick, get a dog, enjoy.

BEST INDIAN RESTAURANT India’s Restaurant Finalists: Fifth Element, India House

There are two kinds of people in the world: people who love good Indian food and people who’ve never had good Indian food.

The good news for Northeast Florida is that, according to our readers, everyone who visits India’s Restaurant on Baymeadows is sure to walk away loving it. India’s recipe for success includes fresh ingredients, friendly, family-oriented service and an alluring, exotic atmosphere as enthralling as their cuisine.

BEST JAPANESE Sakura Japanese Restaurant Finalists: Wasabi, Kazu Japanese Restaurant

With an immense glut of average teppanyaki out there, it’s easy to know when you’ve come across some genuinely good Japanese fare, and for that you have to go to the Best Japanese restaurant in Northeast Florida: Sakura on San Jose Boulevard. Unless you live in Mandarin, it’s not exactly close to anywhere, but trust that the drive is worth it for the fresh fish and legitimate Japanese cuisine.

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BEST MARGARITA BEST MEXICAN La Nopalera

Margarita and Mexican Finalists: Flying Iguana Taqueria & Tequila Bar, TacoLu Baja Mexicana

If you really felt like diving into a hot platter of Mexican food over giant margaritas after work and La Nopalera wasn’t the first option on your mind, call yourself a liar, because it was. And so it was with Folio Weekly readers too, as La Noppie, as it’s known (affectionately, we promise), has the Best Margarita in the city. If it’s made and served with the Best Mexican food in town at one of eight — count ’em, ocho — locations in Northeast Florida, it’s gotta be good, right?

BEST MARTINI Ocean 60

Finalists: Dos Gatos, Restaurant Orsay

Shaken, stirred or just a cup o’ liquor outta the bottle (okay, mayhaps not that last one), our readers love them some martinis. And if they’re in the mood for the Best Martini in the 904, they point their cars east and giddy up at Ocean 60 in Atlantic Beach, where the martinis are always fresh, delicious, innovative and steps from the ocean. They’re so into the drink that Hemingway guzzled and James Bond sipped that there’s even a Martini Room on site. We don’t know what genius came up with that idea, but fist bumps are definitely in order.

BEST MEAL UNDER $10 Spliff’s Gastropub Finalists: Al’s Pizza, Happy Grilled Cheese

Folio Weekly readers, like Folio Weekly staffers, share at least two common traits: a love of salubrious living, a love of crazed, unhinged dog parks, and a love of simple math. So our readers know that when they want to fatten their guts without bleeding their wallets, they hit downtown for lunch and grab a cheap, yet tasty bite, at Spliff’s Gastropub. Co-owner Jason Hunnicutt has helped Spliff’s ascent by shifting his savvy biz acumen from his club 1904 Music Hall into the restaurant industry, and if this last year is any indication, Spliff’s has hit a homerun. When going to Spliff’s, be sure to try their signature mac n’ cheese, the puff-pastry-born Spliff Pockets, and their equally filling Gourmet Grilled Cheese – all priced for less than a sawbuck.

BEST MEDITERRANEAN Hovan Mediterranean Gourmet Finalists: Casbah, Olive Tree

Nothing makes the exotic seem safe more than a sense of the familiar; maybe that’s why FWM readers chose Hovan as their favorite spot to enjoy the clean and healthy taste of the Mediterranean. Located in the heart of Five Points, Hovan offers diners the chance to experience some delicious old world cuisine without venturing too far outside their comfort zones. When our readers are in the mood for falafel, kebabs and extra-thick wraps, Hovan is their favorite getaway.

BEST MICROBREWERY Aardwolf Brewing Company Finalists: Intuition Ale Works, Green Room Brewing

Located just minutes from Downtown Jacksonville in a renovated ice house from the 1920s, San Marco’s Aardwolf Brewing Company is the place to go for a tasty, cold brew. Opened just over three years ago, Aardwolf releases a new pilot batch series every Wednesday and crafts unique suds, like +5 Charisma (Belgian dark strong), Antwacky (English mild) and Ermah-Gourd (Imperial milk porter with pumpkin spice and coffee). When you’re heading over 40 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 4, 2016

to Aardwolf, keep in mind that they’re open Tuesday through Sunday and host food trucks onsite Wednesday through Saturday.

BEST NEIGHBORHOOD BAR ON AMELIA ISLAND The Salty Pelican Bar & Grill Finalists: Green Turtle Tavern, Sliders Seaside Grill

Just four short years since opening their doors, partners Al Waldis and T.J. Pelletier have made The Salty Pelican Bar & Grill an iconic mainstay of the Dirty ’Dina. With two floors, plenty of TVs for sports lovers, a glorious view of the water for sports indifferents and drink specials that will have you grinning all the way to the taxi, the Pelican is one of those places that makes everybody feel like somebody special.

BEST NEIGHBORHOOD BAR IN ORANGE PARK/FLEMING ISLAND/GREEN COVE SPRINGS Taps Bar & Grill Finalists: Mellow Mushroom Pizza Bakers, Whitey’s Fish Camp

Clean, classic, delicious gastropub food from the mind behind Restaurant Orsay and the forthcoming South Kitchen, Taps Bar & Grill makes an easy case for Best Neighborhood Bar in OP/FI/GCS, not only because of its pedigree, but it’s got everything a regular could want from a friendly, neighborhood bar: TVs everywhere, no-smoking atmosphere, delicious drinks and the most creative bar food around.

BEST NEW RESTAURANT The Bearded Pig BBQ Finalists: Hob Nob, Il Desco

When Folio Weekly readers aren’t too busy being brainy, sexy, creative, productive, and hopefully open to flattery-based, emotional coercion, they like to nosh. Foodies and just the flat-out hungry give The Bearded Pig BBQ the highest hosannas for authentic Southern barbecue meats, along with tasty Dixie-style pimento cheese, as well as flavorful veggie options. Located on the Southbank in San Marco, the Bearded Pig BBQ also boasts a cozy beer garden, where you and your friends can quaff a few frosty ones, solve the world’s problems, but hopefully not resign yourselves to a bone-throwing battle.

BEST PIZZA IN JACKSONVILLE BEST PIZZA IN ST. AUGUSTINE BEST ITALIAN Al’s Pizza Pizza in Jacksonville Finalists: Mellow Mushroom Pizza Bakers, Moon River Pizza in St. Augustine Finalists: Pizza Time, Mellow Mushroom Pizza Bakers Italian Finalists: Enza’s, Gusto

Take some tomatoes, mush ’em up, add spices and herbs, smooth it out on dough, throw more good stuff on top, bake it and — ta da! — pizza!

FW readers say Al’s Pizza does it best in Duval and St. Johns, at seven NEFL locations.

Not feelin’ the pie? Al’s also offers calzones, lasagna, parmigiana, manicotti, ravioli — dishes that earned the locally owned restaurants the title of Best Italian, for the first time.

BEST PIZZA IN ORANGE PARK/FLEMING ISLAND/ GREEN COVE SPRINGS BEST TRIVIA NIGHT Mellow Mushroom Pizza Bakers Pizza Finalists: Brewer’s Pizza, NYC Meatballs & Pizzeria Trivia Finalists: Dick’s Wings & Grill, Hurricane Grill, Rain Dogs., Harpoon Louie’s

Get that mellow on in Clay County without

Forget about the tramps and thieves, our readers chose 13 Gypsies as the light fare champs by voting them Best Tapas.

resorting to picking turds in cow pastures. The Mellow Mushroom Pizza Bakers in Orange Park has the best pizza in the area, with local specials and a totally trippy atmosphere that’s part of the MM signature. It’s so tripadelic, you may overhear convos like, “Hey, is your pizza swirling?” “Nah, dude, that’s just a Thai Dye Pie.”

BEST PIZZA ON AMELIA ISLAND Moon River Pizza

Finalists: Pi Infinite Combinations, Townie Pizzeria

While most Northeast Floridians probably think the Murray Hill location came first, Amelia Island’s Moon River Pizza is actually the original and, like all things in life, the original just can’t be beat. It’s been named Best Pizza in AI so many times, even we’ve lost count. (OK, intrepid Senior Editor/Archivist Dryden says it’s won every year since 2000). Located near Historic Fernandina Beach, this place is so old-school good, it’s still cash-only. Now that’s legit — some might say even too legit to quit. Hey-heeyyy.

BEST PUB Lynch’s Irish Pub

Finalists: Kickbacks Gastropub, Culhane’s Irish Pub

The category is Best Pub — no frills, no onsite brewery, just a pub — and that’s what Lynch’s Irish Pub is. The landmark joint across from Jax Beach Pier has 50 brews on tap, bottled beers, Irish-themed cocktails, beer flights, and all-day brunch cocktails. The Irish-ish menu has Fish & Chips, Shepherd’s Pie, Chicken Boxty And Scotch Eggs, plus burgers, sandwiches and salads. Live local bands play every night. It’s a pub, all right.

BEST RESTAURANT IN JACKSONVILLE Restaurant Orsay

Finalists: Al’s Pizza, Moxie Kitchen + Cocktails

Self-described as a “French bistro incarnated in the American South,” Restaurant Orsay is our readers’ favorite place to dine in Jacksonville. Focused on local and sustainable ingredients, Orsay is a recipient of Slow Food First Coast’s Snail of Approval and features a menu stuffed full of housemade Charcuterie, Lamb Belly, Vegetable Shepherd’s Pie and everyone’s beloved Lobster Pot Pie. Yelp user Amanda M. had this to say about Orsay, “Straight up delicious! The staff is friendly, food is outstanding and ambience is great! Duck and fried bread pudding were the highlights!”

BEST RESTAURANT IN ST. AUGUSTINE The Floridian

Finalists: Columbia Restaurant, Salt Life Food Shack With a new location on Spanish Street, The Floridian continues to be everyone’s favorite eatery in the nation’s Oldest City. Dubbed as “Innovative Southern Fare for Omnivores, Herbivores and Locavores,” it’s The Floridian’s regionally inspired dishes of down-home Southern comfort food that has diners return.

Check out the Cornbread Panzanella Bowl, Cornbread Stack With Blackened Fish or go all out for the brisket Posole with local CartWheel

Ranch beef brisket. From the eclectic Southern décor to the carefully crafted cocktails, The Floridian has proved its staying power.

BEST RESTAURANT ON AMELIA ISLAND BEST SERVER Sliders Seaside Grill Hilary Paetsch

Restaurant on Amelia Finalists: The Salty Pelican, Salt Server Finalists: Johnny Miller at European Street, Anthony Branco at Restaurant Orsay

As the website says, “If you’re lucky enough to be at the beach, you’re lucky enough.” Sliders Seaside Grill is a fresh-catch-slinging, blue crab burger-crafting oceanfront powerhouse. With a low-key vibe that’s so Florida, they should add the Sliders’ logo to the jillion license plate options, and delicious dishes like Gringo Fish Tacos, Chimichurri Steak and Low Country Boil Steam Pots, it’s no wonder we can’t get enough Sliders. Says staffer and Best Server winner Hilary Paetsch, “I absolutely love my job and the people I work with. I guess that’s it, really. We have an incredible team. I never wake up in the morning and feel unhappy to be heading in to work. Even when things get crazy and hectic, I’m working right on the beach, how lucky am I?!”

OK, now we’re jealous. And hungry.

BEST RESTAURANT TO IMPRESS A DATE BEST RESTAURANT SERVING LOCALLY SOURCED FOOD Black Sheep Restaurant

Restaurant to Impress a Date Finalists: Restaurant Orsay, Ruth’s Chris Steak House Restaurant Serving Locally Sourced Food Finalists: Kitchen on San Marco, Southern Roots Filling Station

There’s more than one reason to love Black Sheep Restaurant. In fact, dear readers, according to you, there are two reasons to name it the best of the best. Let’s begin with the Best Restaurant to Impress a Date. Located in the historic 5 Points strip of Riverside, Black Sheep offers entrées awesome enough to impress any lady or gent. Check out the Steak Diane, a ribeye with brandy cream sauce and handcut fries. There are also plenty of plates to share, like the Intuition Jon Boat Mussels and Pickled Cape Canaveral Red Shrimp.

That’s right, Black Sheep has plenty of options using food from right here at home — making it the Best Restaurant Serving Locally Sourced Food. Feast on some Wainwright Cheddar Grits or Springer Mountain Farm’s Chicken with Congaree and Penn rice middlins. Tasty!

BEST RESTAURANT IN ORANGE PARK/FLEMING ISLAND/GREEN COVE SPRINGS Santioni’s Italian Restaurant

Finalists Metor Diner, Texas Roadhouse Clay County may bring to mind fish camps more readily than cavatelli with Bolognese, but that doesn’t stop our readers from venturing out

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<<< FROM PREVIOUS for a little Italian when they’re looking for the best dining experience in their neighborhood.

When they do, they’re more than likely headed to Santioni’s in Fleming Island. Established in 1987, Santioni’s focuses on authentic meals served in a family atmosphere. For a delicious meal ranging from pizza to traditional baked pasta dishes and fresh seafood, trust our readers – leave the gun, take the Santioni’s.

BEST SPORTS BAR The Players Grille

Finalists: Time Out, The Salty Pelican

For sports lovers, it’s going down for real in Mandarin. The Players Grille checks all the awesomeness boxes for sports fans: memorabilia on the walls (check), tons of TVs (check), happy hour specials (check), booze aplenty (check), good ol’ American cuisine (check), casual atmosphere where you can wear slaps, holey jerseys, lucky pendants, hats, rabbits’ feet, helmets, bedazzled acidwash jean shorts — don’t judge, rhinestones have magical powers (double-check). That’s how they got to be voted this year’s Best Sports Bar in all the Northeast Florida Land.

BEST VEGAN OR VEGETARIAN RESTAURANT Southern Roots Filling Station Finalists: This Chick’s Kitchen, Present Moment, Green Erth Bistro

For those of you who prefer legumes more than lamb, and beans over beef, head over to Southern Roots Filling Station on King Street for the best in vegan and vegetarian fare.

Check out The Turtle: pumpkin seed pesto and local arugula tossed in cilantro oil and served on bread or bed of greens or the equally popular The Beacon, which entails smoky seed spread, carrot slaw and local micro greens over bread or a bed of greens.

BEST SMOOTHIE Smoothie King

Finalists: Tropical Smoothie Café, Pulp With everything from light snacks to meal replacements, Smoothie King reigns supreme with choices for all who seek sweet liquid nutrition. And with a wide variety of supplements that’ll boost both your health and your chosen flavors, there is a plethora of combinations to be had in any of the many locations in Northeast Florida.

BEST TAPAS 13 Gypsies

Finalists: Royal Palm, Ovinté

Chances are that if you haven’t yet tried any of the fare at 13 Gypsies, it’s because you can’t get a seat. Chef Howard’s Spanish-inspired gypsy cuisine is the real deal, with true cured meats and small batch entrées that are yummy fresh and prepared daily. Try the desserts, too, but you’d be well-advised to call ahead first to see if there’s room for you.

BEST SUSHI Sushi Café

Finalists: Sushiko Japanese Restaurant, Kazu Japanese Restaurant

Sushi Café has been open for more than a decade, but it’s never been lost in the public consciousness of sushi-craving hipsters, working stiffs and soccer moms (or is it more PC to call them soccer co-parents these days?) in Riverside. With its über convenient location near Memorial Park, Sushi Café not only provides fresh seafood and honest-to-goodness sashimi-grade standards, it’s a perfect spot to stop in for a bite or 12 on your Riverside exploration days.

BEST STEAK BEST RESTAURANT WHEN SOMEONE ELSE IS PAYING Ruth’s Chris Steak House

Steak Finalists: Restaurant Orsay, Outback Steakhouse When Someone Else is Paying Finalists: Restaurant Orsay, Matthew’s

A good steak speaks for itself, so what is there to say really about Ruth’s Chris Steak House? Their thing is bringing out your steak on a plate so hot the meat is still cooking when it’s served. This is a wonderful thing, and the food is truly exquisite, with many different cuts on offer at the temperature of your choice. It’s no wonder they were voted Best Steak by FW readers — for 15 years now and counting! And, at a nod to the costs inherent in providing <both> phenomenal food and standout service, they’ve also been tagged as Best Restaurant When Someone Else is Paying. Pro tip: Try the happy hour menu.

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Wanna impress a date while noshing on locally grown goodness? Point your compass towards Black Sheep in 5 Points, our readers’ Best Restaurant to Impress a Date and Best Restaurant Serving Locally Sourced Food. <<< FROM PREVIOUS

BEST SEAFOOD Safe Harbor Seafood Market & Restaurant Finalists: North Beach Fish Camp, Timoti’s Seafood Shak

If you want an absolute lead-pipe lock guarantee you’re getting the freshest seafood possible, make the trip to this year’s Best Seafood spot, Safe Harbor Seafood Market, the restaurant attached to the fish market that sits 20 yards from where the fish boats dock.

It’s way out there, in the sleepy fishing village of Mayport, and the smell of saltwater and seafood is omnipresent, but together with the gorgeous drive, the waterfront vista and the dinner that’s practically still swimming, you’ll be happy to make the trip again and again.

BEST CHINESE RESTAURANT Hawkers Asian Street Fare

Finalists: China Joy Chinese Restaurant, Chef Chan Asian Cuisine The perfect place to dine if you’re indecisive, Hawkers Asian Street Fare offers dozens of small plates like Curry Meatballs, Crispy Roast Pork Siu Yoke and Lettuce Wraps, with shiitake mushrooms, water chestnuts and bean curd. Modeled after street vendors in Asia who “hawk” ethnic dishes from mobile carts, Hawkers on Park Street in 5 Points is a bustling spot with an environment that encourages sharing. We’re particularly fond of the curry duck noodles, green papaya and shrimp salad.

BEST HOOKAH LOUNGE The Casbah Café Finalists: Habibi Bar & Café, Sahara Café & Bar

Touted as “Jacksonville’s most frequented stop for friends, conversation and a wide selection of traditional and herbal shisha,” The Casbah Café is quite popular among the 904 puffers. Located on St. Johns Avenue in Avondale and open daily 11 a.m. to 2 a.m., The Casbah is a great place to enjoy a smoke (they have everything from apple to honeyflavored tobacco), and catch authentic belly dancing, killer Middle Eastern food and lots of tasty beverages.

BEST MIDDLE EASTERN RESTAURANT The Casbah Café Finalists: Karam, Noura’s Café

When looking to nosh on some savory and sweet Middle Eastern dishes, our readers once again picked The Casbah Café. Since 1999, this Avondale eatery has kept Folio Weekly loyalists coming back for more, with an extensive menu featuring everything from appetizers and veggie delights to meat and seafood kebabs, an extensive wine and beer list, smokin’ hookah action, and belly-dancing. Live music on the weekends rounds out the Casbah’s winning mix of the traditional and the hip. Dig in!

BEST THAI Indochine

Finalists: Simply Tasty Thai, Buddha Thai Bistro

Pad Thai and Drunken Noodles, oh my! For six years in a row, this bomb-diggity spot has dominated Best Thai. And now, with a second location in San Marco in addition to its Downtown O.G. digs, it’s likely they’ll keep racking it up for six more. Indochine’s owners know what’s up: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. (Psst: A little bird told us they own Pho a Noodle Bar, too. So Pho king cool. If you pronounce it right, you’ll get it.)

BEST LIQUOR STORE BEST WINE SHOP Riverside Liquors & Village Wine Shop

Wine Shop Finalists: Total Wine & More, Royal Palm Village Wine & Tapas Liquor Store Finalists: Total Wine & More, Royal Palm Village Wine & Tapas

What makes a liquor store great? Ask our readers, who voted Riverside Liquors as the area’s best, and they’ll likely say the same thing: an amazing selection, friendly, knowledgeable service, and an atmosphere that addresses both your “sipping brandy by the fire” persona as well as your “tequila gorilla.” And, as this year’s Best Wine Shop, they’ve definitely got your “drinking wine like Kathie Lee” aging cheerleader needs well in hand. Whether it’s for their personal liquor cabinet/wine cellar or to be the perfectly chosen gift, locals know that choosing Riverside Liquors is a tradition worth keeping.

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FOLIO A + E

LITERATE C

FILM Cinematic Nazis ARTS What The What?!?!

MUSIC Prophets of Rage LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CALENDAR

As Destroyer, Vancouver native Dan Bejar has made a career out of STYLISTIC CURVEBALLS, soft-rock left turns and steady intellectualism

LOUNGE LIZARD

onsider Dan Bejar as indie rock’s gentleman intellectual. After getting his start with Canadian supercollective the New Pornographers, Bejar adopted the name Destroyer, releasing 10 full-lengths of twisty, baroque art-folk numbers. Many of those albums were crammed with lyrics so complex, they required footnotes to discern. But on 2011’s Kaputt, a sensual slide through yacht rock, cheeseball ’80s sax solos, and blissful synth-pop, Bejar finally figured out how to streamline Destroyer’s philosophies into a more digestible product. The success of Kaputt led to a surge of mainstream interest in Bejar’s deft lyricism, plainspoken Pacific Northwest cynicism, and buttoned-down modern mysticism.

In 2015, the chameleonic Bejar went in an entirely different direction, constructing complicated orchestral arrangements for Poison Season — a record he described as “a strange mashup” of modern classical music and Frank Sinatra. And just one year later, Bejar has ditched those layers of complexity in favor of a more straightforward, guitarbased approach, both for his fall tour and Destroyer’s as-yet-unannounced 11th album. “These songs seem different to me,” he tells Folio Weekly over the phone. “I can’t really say why. But they have more a casual vibe to them.”

Folio Weekly: Last year, after Poison Season, you toured with strings, horns and other accouterments. This year, you’re touring solo.

How exciting is the contrast?

Dan Bejar: I like it. It’s a pattern I’ve established that gives me something to look forward to. It also gives me a chance to pull from some older songs that I maybe wouldn’t play with a group, or try a bunch of songs that I’ve just written. I’ve actually never done that before, and that’s my intention with my tour since I’m hoping to go into the studio right after I get home. I started writing on the guitar again after taking a pretty long break of seven or eight years, so I figure if I’m going to play

it, I should see how that goes playing guitar in front of people.

It’s shocking that someone as prolific as you has never road-tested new material before.

I’m shocked every time I write a song.

[Laughs.] It’s like, “Really? You got another one in you?”

Has the writing process changed significantly for you over the years, particularly after the success of Kaputt?

Kaputt was when my process changed, continuing with the songs on Poison Season, which were mostly written on piano. That was new for me. And maybe every single person says this, but these new ones seem different.

You’ve always been known as a wordy songwriter. Is that still an essential part of your identity?

There was a style of Destroyer song that ran all through the 2000s, which was a tumble or attack of words that assaulted the listener. At some point, I said I would never resort to that kind of focused density again. As I get older, I’ve settled into my voice — become more of a straight-up singer. And I’m willing to sacrifice some words to get the song across. The ones I’m writing these days almost strike me as ditties.

That’s common, though, right?

As a writer, you’re constantly finding new ways to cut through your own bullshit.

Yeah! I’m less and less dazzled with myself with every day that goes by. I like those old Destroyer songs a lot, but I scratch my head wondering where I got that stuff and how I managed to pack it all in. I’m not impressed by that shit.

I mean, I like it. But it’s not what’s inside of me right now.

DESTROYER with ZACHARY CALE

8 p.m. Sept. 30, Jack Rabbits, San Marco, $12, jaxlive.com

46 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 4, 2016

PG. 47 PG. 48 PG. 50 PG. 51

You’ve talked a lot in the past about being anti-careerist — you even described the activities of social-climbing New York or LA transplants as “scumbag move[s]” in a 2015 Spin interview. Does that still represent your belief system?

I would like to say I don’t give it too much thought. But any time I have to do a bunch of interviews after a record comes out, that’s when I feel most disgruntled. At this point, I don’t feel that my career needs advancing. I just want to go into the studio and make songs, then go out and play them in front of people. And maybe someone will be in the audience. As far as being a 44-year-old with his fingers crossed, saying, “This is my moment”? I can safely say that’s not what gets me out of bed. I don’t know what I would do with that moment. Or if I would even recognize it.

The press release for your tour says you’ll be performing with some “vintage Japanese pedals.” Tell us more.

[Laughs.] I just needed to have fun buying some gadget to springboard myself into playing guitar on a regular basis. Or at least cloak my ham-fisted rhythm guitar style with some kind of over-the-top effects. I don’t know if I’ll actually have the guts to use them on the tour.

You haven’t performed much in Florida before, correct?

I played a show once 11 years ago in Tallahassee on a rough tour, and it was one of the better shows. All I remember were a lot of wild college kids. And then five or six years ago, I played an outside show at a liberal arts college near Orlando in the middle of a lightning storm. It was kind of dramatic.

Other than that, Florida is a blank slate. I can’t wait to get down there.

Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly.com

FOLIO A+E : MAGIC LANTERNS This week, we look at the GOOD AND BAD of Nazi cinema

HEROES &

VILLAINS

T

he recent split of Brangelina has certainly been fueling lots of juicy gossip for media sources who, despite choruses of surprise and disappointment, just can’t wait to file and analyze the latest titillating tidbit. Movie fans, though, can find a silver lining to all the tabloid trash regarding Pitt’s supposed relationship with French actress Marion Cotillard, his co-star in the upcoming Allied.

Scheduled for release this Thanksgiving, the movie will once again have Brad kill Nazis, which he did so well in Inglourious Basterds and Fury. Anyone who kills that many bad guys (are there any worse bad guys than Nazis?) needs our forgiveness. Hitler’s minions are worse than the Walking Dead Brad dispatched in World War Z. Zombies are nasty, but Nazis are just plain vile.

Which is why they’ve always made such great movie villains.

The kingpin of the group is, of course, Adolf Hitler, whose name and face alone are enough to make Satan look like an Eagle Scout.

Knowing a good opportunity when they see one (villains often have the most memorable roles), some of filmdom’s greatest actors have lined up to play Der Fuhrer, among them Alec Guinness in Hitler: The Last Ten Days (1973), Anthony Hopkins in The Bunker (’81), and Bruno Ganz in Downfall (’04).

And let’s not forget Charlie Chaplin as Adenoid Hynkel, a thinly disguised Adolf rendered a buffoon in The Great Dictator (’40).

The rank and file of the Nazi machine — Gestapo, SS and common soldier — have similarly found their due misfortunes at the hands of Hollywood’s heroes in fantasy thrillers and actual war films. One of the most ingenious ideas behind Raiders of the Lost Ark, for instance, was making the Nazis enemies of Indiana Jones and of God Himself, in the form of the vengeful angels from the Ark. Though vastly under-appreciated at the time of its release (and now facing a reboot), The Rocketeer (’91) put our hero in 1930s Hollywood battling Timothy Dalton as a thinly disguised Errol Flynn with Nazi sympathies.

The former 007 star is not the only major actor to play a dirty Nazi. Orson Welles was one of the earliest screen giants to assume such a role as diabolical Charles Rankin in The Stranger, marrying and then trying to kill poor Loretta Young before being sent to his just deserts by Edward G. Robinson as a United Nations War Crimes Commission agent.

In 1976’s Marathon Man, Laurence Olivier memorably gave dentists a bad name as Dr. Christian Szell, another fugitive Nazi war criminal terrorizing Dustin Hoffman (and making us cringe) with a whirring dental drill. Two years later, Olivier changed sides in The Boys from Brazil, playing an indomitable Nazi hunter who comes head-to-head with Gregory Peck as the infamous Josef Mengele.

The two films gave Olivier a chance to show

off his ability with different accents, but it was Peck, going against type, who chewed up the scenery as the detestable real-life Nazi butcher.

Fictional Nazi sadists were played to the hilt by Dirk Bogarde in The Night Porter (’74), Peter O’Toole in Night of the General (’67), and perhaps most infamously by Dyanne Thorne in Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS (’75) and its sequels.

Her physical opposite was the intimidating Shirley Stoler in Lina Wertmuller’s stunning classic, Seven Beauties (also ’75).

I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out films have also given us at least three examples of the noble Nazi, two of them historical figures who dared to defy Hitler — Tom Cruise as Col. Claus von Stauffenberg in Vanguard (’08) and James Mason as Field Marshal Erwin Rommel in The Desert Fox (’51). In The Young Lions (’58), it was Marlon Brando as a blonde Aryan officer who grows a conscience.

And, of course, Nazis have found a comfy home in the horror genre. The title says it all in the cheesy low-budget flick They Saved Hilter’s Brain (’68) while French horror/ sleaze auteur Jean Rollin resurrected rotting Swastika-bearers in Zombie Lake (’81).

Most recently, in 2012, Hitler’s successors have attacked Earth from a hidden moonbase in Iron Sky (’12), a German-Finnish-Australian production — preposterous but fun.

Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for Nazis at the Center of the Earth (same year) with Jake Busey, clone of dad Gary, and Dominique Swain (Lolita in the excellent ’97 film version).

In Dead Snow (’09), Nazi zombies haunt Norway; in British-made Outpost (’08), they’re in Eastern Europe. They’re everywhere!

That’s why, despite the Brangelina fracas, we need Brad Pitt. He’s a pro at killing Nat-zees and zombies.

Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com

NOW SHOWING SUN-RAY CINEMA The Beatles: Eight Days a Week The Touring Years, The Magnificent Seven, Morris From America, In Order of Appearance and Antibirth are currently screening, 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. Full Metal Jacket runs 7 p.m. Sept. 29 and Oct. 2. Barry Lyndon runs Oct. 1. Idiocracy: 10 Year Anniversary runs 9:45 p.m.

Oct. 4. Eyes Wide Shut runs Oct. 4 and 8. The Girl on the Train starts Oct. 7. Sun-Ray Cinema won our 2016 readers’ poll for Best Movie Theater and Best Hot Dog! CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ Aferim! and Weiner-Dog are running at 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com. Dr. Strangelove runs noon Sept. 29. The Shooter: Gun Violence in America premieres 7 p.m. Sept. 29, $20, 687-8779. Nosferatu screens 8 p.m. Oct. 2. Indignation starts Oct. 7. The Little Shop of Horrors screens Oct. 7, 8 and 9.

IMAX THEATER The Magnifi cent Seven, Robots 3D, America Wild: National Parks Adventure, A Beautiful Planet and Secret Ocean screen at World Golf Village IMAX Theater, St. Augustine, 940-4133, worldgolfimax. com. Deepwater Horizon starts Sept. 29.

SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 4, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 47

FOLIO A+E : ARTS DIY group show What The What?!?! explores the INDESCRIBABLE MOMENT of experiencing visual art

MY FLASH ON YOU

LEFT: Sarah K Flora, Martha, mixed media on canvas, 24˝ x 24,˝ 2016. RIGHT: Joseph Provenza, Untitled, mixed media on canvas, 8˝ x 10,˝ 2016.

T

he experience of looking at visual art can run the gamut from a fleeting instant to life-altering. The ultimate interrogative moment, mindful art appreciation can conjure a barrage of questions, yet still leave the viewer satisfied, even if they walk away with no real answers. Art can draw you in or run you out, but you will surely be affected. Or, to paraphrase ’90s psych-rock band Magic Hour, does it “turn you on or turn on you?”

The upcoming pop-up show What The What?!?! is a group exhibit that attempts to penetrate that very experience. The show counts both emerging and established artists, featuring original works by Deborah Adams, Alex Barnes, Matthew Dolby, Van Eggers, Sarah Flora, Makeda Joseph, Andrea Lukic, Kevin Mahoney, Russell Maycumber, Matt Meinhardt, Loren Myhre, Erick Wayne Patterson, Heather Pellecer, Joseph Provenza and Douglas Stearns. The Facebook invitation says the participating artists “are a strange breed; intensely dedicated to crafting thrills for the eye.” Co-curated by Myhre and Eggers, the one-night-only event also features live music by The Dewars and the promise of free beer.

Both Myhre and Eggers bring different albeit equally potent experience and taste to the table.

Myhre is a painter and sculptor who, for the past eight years, has been teaching sculpture and drawing at Flagler College. Conversely, Eggers is currently earning his BFA at Flagler; last year he was awarded the school’s distinguished student award for the fine arts major. And it was their connection to Flagler that lit the fuse for What The What?!?! — the title takes its name from a Tracy Morgan catchphrase on 30 Rock.

“Van and I met through the metal sculpture course I was teaching last spring. We had a lot in common and he invited me to participate in a ’zine that he and his friends were publishing,” explains Myhre. “It’s called Anxiety, and features the exceptional artists and citizens who make up the underground North Coast Florida

48 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 4, 2016

art scene.” Myhre acknowledges that the show was really about “intersections” between him and Eggers’ friends’ work. “So really, the impetus was out of a desire to bring both of our friends’ art together and to show them love and respect for what they do.”

Eggers is a product of the crucial blend of skateboard culture and art. “The show was created in response to a lack of do-ityourself art shows in St. Augustine,” explains Eggers of the attempt to widen the creatives’ paradigm of creating, while following through with broadcasting the very thing created. “When living in a community like St. Augustine, that generates such a dynamic range of creative people, be it musicians, visual artists, or skate and surf enthusiasts,” says Eggers, “it seemed peculiar that the extent of most creative platforms stops at music, played at a few local bars.”

Anxiety Presents: WHAT THE WHAT?!?!

7-10 p.m. Oct. 7, Spacecamp Co./M.C. Pressure, 201 W. King St., St. Augustine

The only real suggestions for the show, says Myhre, were that the art “contained a strange hybrid of fine art technique merging into graphic-commercial stylizations.”

And while there is a theme for the show, it actually developed after the wheel was set in motion in July.

“The artists did not know anything about the title or statement for the show,” explains Myhre. “That materialized really after we had our committed artists and sat down to brainstorm.” Any group show immediately expresses a statement of harmony, if not clearing away some of the aggravating, yet certainly needed, egos of artists. “The aim of this show is to, hopefully, encourage students, as well as other artistically minded members

of the community, to create the types of shows they want to see happen,” says Eggers.

The work ranges from the arcane photogravure-like work of Joseph Provenza to the entheogenic-illustrative wash of Sarah Flora to the continuing sardonic grotesqueries of Russell Maycumber.

Contemporary, cutting-edge and crucial, the artists of What The What?!?! rose to the challenge, and, in the process, created the show’s theme in a weirdly poetic hindsight.

In the end, both Myhre and Eggers believe that art is an ineffable experience, inherently beyond the tongue, and ideally beyond any expected explanations. “Visual art and written language are commonly synonymous, but it can be dangerous to utilize too much dialogue when it comes to art that is meant to create an emotion larger than the work itself,” says Eggers. Parallel to that, Myhre believes that any verbalization is ultimately unnecessary. “I don’t think artists need to be in the business of explaining everything to death,” says Myhre.

“Inspiration should be the seed to all artistic pursuits, and inspiration is not something that can be articulated or explained, really.”

Regardless of our response to that visceral reaction to visual art, our reactions are personal and, at times, sacrosanct. Yet for all of the inevitable questions the works of the artists of What The What?!?! may pose, they share the same goal: unity and creative action.

“The title in some senses pokes at St. Augustine’s complete obliviousness to the prodigious amount of unrecognized and undisplayed talent oriented around visual art in our community,” offers Eggers, believing that a sizable number of people will be shocked by the incredible and, at times, unnoticed talent that calls the Oldest City home. “What The What?!?! will, hopefully, be the town’s response when viewing its own potential.”

Daniel A. Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com

ARTS + EVENTS PERFORMANCE

THEATER OF THE MIND: STORYTELLING Tale Tellers of St. Augustine present A Dark and Stormy Night, VI, 7:30 p.m. Oct. 4 at Limelight Theatre, 11 Old Mission Ave., 471-0179, $10.

CIRQUE DU SOLEIL – OVO The acrobat troupe perform 7:30 p.m. Oct. 5-8 and 4 p.m. Oct. 8 at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., 630-3900, $25-$150, ticketmaster.com.

ON GOLDEN POND Don Maley and Christina Johns, 8 p.m.

Sept. 29, & 30 and Oct. 1 at Amelia Community Theatre’s Studio 209, 207/209 Cedar St., Fernandina, 261-6749, $22; $10 students; through Oct. 9, ameliacommunitytheatre.org.

PASSAGES SENIOR DANCE SOLOS 6 p.m. Sept. 29 in Douglas Anderson School of the Arts’ studios, 2445 San Diego Rd., 346-5620, duvalschools.org.

MARY POPPINS Orange Park Community Theatre stages the musical, 8 p.m. Sept. 30 and Oct. 1 and 2 p.m. Oct. 2 at 2900 Moody Ave., 276-2599, $25, opct.info.

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE 8 p.m. Sept. 30 and Oct. 1, and 2 p.m.

Oct. 2 at Theatre Jacksonville, 2032 San Marco Blvd., 3964425, $25; $20 seniors, military, students, theatrejax.com.

INTO THE WOODS Sondheim’s musical comedy, 8 p.m.

Sept. 29 & 30 & Oct. 1; 2 p.m. Oct. 2 at Players by the Sea, 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach, 249-0289, $25; through Oct. 8, playersbythesea.org.

OKLAHOMA! Limelight Theatre stages the Western-tinged musical 7:30 p.m. Sept. 29 & 30 & Oct. 1; 2 p.m. Oct. 2 at 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, 825-1164, $15-$26; through Oct. 23, limelight-theatre.org.

JUNIE B. JONES KidzfActory presents the kid-geared musical, about first-grader Junie, 2 p.m. Oct. 1 at Limelight Theatre, $15; $10 ages 12 and under, limelight-theatre.org.

SISTER ACT Alhambra Theatre & Dining presents the musical comedy through Oct. 9. 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 641-1212, $38-$57, alhambrajax.com.

CLASSICAL & JAZZ

RIVER CITY PRIDE CONCERT Jacksonville Gay Chorus, Vocal Theory Project, Jacksonville Men’s Chorus and One AcChord perform 7:30 p.m. Sept. 29, Riverside Avenue Christian Church, 2841 Riverside Ave., 389-1751, $20, jaxgay.com.

RACHMANINOFF and THE RITE The (newly renamed) Jacksonville Symphony kicks off the season with Rachmaninoff’s “Piano Concerto No. 2” and Stravinsky’s “The Rite of Spring,” 8 p.m. Sept. 30, Oct. 1 & 2 at Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 Water St., Downtown, 354-5547, $27-$77, jaxsymphony.org.

The PEACHERINE RAGTIME SOCIETY ORCHESTRA 7:30 p.m. Oct. 1 at Flagler College’s Lewis Auditorium, 14 Granada St., St. Augustine, 797-2800, $40, emmaconcerts.com.

AMELIA ISLAND JAZZ FESTIVAL Music by University of North Florida Jazz Ensemble directed by Dennis Marks, The Dynamic Les DeMerle Little Big Band with Bonnie Eisele, Trio Caliente, saxophonist Houston Person, and Bria Skonberg, jam sessions, jazz brunch, Oct. 2-9, at various venues in Fernandina. ameliaislandjazzfestival.com.

ORGANIST DAVID BRIGGS Beaches Fine Arts Series presents organist Briggs performing a live score to the classic 1925 horror flick The Phantom of the Opera, 4 p.m.

Oct. 2 at St. John’s Cathedral, 256 E. Church St., Downtown, beachesfinearts.org.

BAND FALL CONCERT The annual student concert is 7:30 p.m. Oct. 4 on Douglas Anderson School of the Arts’ Mainstage, 2445 San Diego Rd., 346-5620, duvalschools.org.

JU PERCUSSION ENSEMBLE – NOSFERATU Jacksonville University percussion professor Tony Steve and the JU Percussion Ensemble perform a live soundtrack to the classic horror film Nosferatu, 6 & 7:30 p.m. Oct. 5 at Museum of Contemporary Art Jacksonville, Downtown, 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911, mocajacksonville.unf.edu.

FACULTY RECITAL CONCERT The annual concert, with the music of Fats Waller and Spencer Williams, is 7:30 p.m.

Oct. 5 at University of North Florida’s Recital Hall, 1 UNF Dr., 620-2878, unf.edu/coas/music/calendar.aspx.

DASOTA MUSIC COLLEGE NIGHT Students perform 6:30 p.m. Oct. 5 at the school, 346-5620, duvalschools.org.

COMEDY

FRED’S FUNNIEST COMEDIANS Christina Schriver, Spike, 7:30 p.m. Sept. 28 The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, 292-4242, $10, comedyzone.com.

CARL STRONG 7:30 p.m. Sept. 29; 7:30 & 9:45 p.m. Sept.

30 & Oct. 1 at The Comedy Zone, 292-4242, $12-$15, comedyzone.com.

SHAY CLEMONS Comic Clemons, appears 8 p.m. Sept. 29 at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-4277, $7-$15, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

KOUNTRY WAYNE The bona fide social media star is on 8 & 10:30 p.m. Sept. 30 & Oct. 1 at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, $20-$35, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

RON WHITE Wise-crackin’ White (aka “Tater Salad”) performs at 7 p.m. Oct. 1 at Times-Union Center’s Moran Theater, 6336110, $47.75-$57.75, ticketmaster.com.

ART WALKS & MARKETS

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Local, regional art, music – morning yoga (9 a.m.), Buddy Sherwood So Dance, Jesse Montoya, Jumping Fish ‘Up The River Swim’, Robert Lester Folsom, Joey Kerr, Scott Jones Dancers – food, farmers market, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Oct. 1 under the Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com.

OKTOBERFEST FIRST WEDNESDAY ART WALK The fourth annual Oktoberfest at First Wednesday Art Walk is held 5-10 p.m. Oct. 5, with a tapping of the keg, German oom-pah polka bands, kids zone, carnival zone and contests, and biergartens, plus more than 20 hotspots open after 9 p.m. and more than 60 total participating venues, spanning

15 blocks in Downtown Jacksonville. VIP tickets at downtownjacksonville.org. iloveartwalk.com.

MUSEUMS

CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 29 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummermuseum.org. Lift: Contemporary Expressions of the African American Experience, works of local artists Thony Aiuppy, Glendia Cooper, Ingrid Damiani, Overstreet Ducasse, Dustin Harewood, Marsha Hatcher, Hiromi Moneyhun, Princess Rashid, Chip Southworth and Roosevelt Watson III, displays through Feb. 12. David Hayes: The Sentinel Series displays through Oct. 2.

MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911, mocajacksonville.unf.edu.

Retro-Spective: Analog Photography In A Digital World, contemporary photographers exploring anachronistic, 19thcentury photographic processes, through Jan. 8. Sustain: Clay to Table, which pairs handcrafted ceramic tableware

by North American artists with the concept of sustainable, community-based food production, through Oct. 30. Project Atrium: Ethan Murrow displays through Oct. 30.

GALLERIES

THE ART CENTER GALLERY Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 139, 233-9252, tacjacksonville.org. Beth Haizlip is the featured artist. Lift Every Voice, is on display through Oct. 10.

BUTTERFIELD GARAGE ART GALLERY 137 King St., St. Augustine, 825-4577, butterfieldgarage.com. Works by illustrator Sherrie Pettigrew are on display through Oct. 4.

CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530, flagler.edu/. The auditory-themed exhibit Sound displays through Nov. 22.

THE CULTURAL CENTER AT PONTE VEDRA BEACH 50 Executive Way, 280-0614, ccpvb.org. Arboreal, works by Linda Richichi and Seth Satterfield, and Freedom, works by Ali Miruku, are on display through Oct. 14.

DASOTA NEW BEGINNINGS GALLERY Douglas Anderson School of the Arts, 2445 San Diego Rd., 346-5620, duvalschools.org. The opening reception for the gallery is 5:30 p.m. Sept. 29.

DEERWOOD CENTER CAMPUS FSCJ, 997-2500, fscj.edu.

Don Martin: Leaves of Grass, featuring prints inspired by Walt Whitman’s famous poem, is on display Sept. 29-Dec. 1.

FLORIDA MINING GALLERY 5300 Shad Rd., Southside, 535-7252, floridamininggallery.com. The opening reception for Jason John: Crossing the Threshold is 6 p.m. Sept. 30.

KENT CAMPUS GALLERY FSCJ, 646-2300, fscj.edu. An exhibit of works by Micoel Fuentes and Russell Maycumber displays through Oct. 20.

JACKSONVILLE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT 14201 Pecan Park Rd., Northside, 741-3546, jiaarts.org. Crystal Floyd’s multimedia works display through September.

KARPELES MANUSCRIPT LIBRARY MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992, rain.org/~karpeles/jax.html. The Wright Brothers, displays through Dec. 30. Vinnie Ream Exhibit, art, poetry, prose and music chosen by National League of American Pen Women, through Oct. 30.

LUFRANO INTERCULTURAL GALLERY University of North Florida, 1 UNF Dr., Student Union Bldg. 58 E., Ste. 2401, 620-2475, unf.edu/gallery. The UNF Wood Fire Ceramics Invitational exhibit displays through Oct. 14.

SPACECAMP CO./M.C. PRESSURE 201 W. King St., St. Augustine. Anxiety presents the opening reception for What the What?!?!, original works by Deborah Adams, Alex Barnes, Matthew Dolby, Van Eggers, Sarah Flora, Makeda Joseph, Andrea Lukic, Kevin Mahoney, Russell Maycumber, Matt Meinhardt, Loren Myhre, Erick Wayne Patterson, Heather Pellecer, Joseph Provenza and Douglas Stearns, live music by The Dewars, free beer, 7-10 p.m. Oct. 7.

SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 150, Downtown, 438-4358, southlightgallery.com. Oktoberfest, celebrating ZPARTY for Pam Zambetti is 5-9 p.m. Oct. 5.

Cuba, painter Paul Ladnier’s recent works, through Oct. 2.

YIELD DESIGN 25 Palmer St., St. Augustine, yielddesign.co.

A pop-up art show of Andrew Scott Wilson’s works is held 6-9 p.m. Sept. 30.

EVENTS

READING ON CULTURAL RACISM Flagler College’s Dr. Michael Butler reads from his book Beyond Integration: The Black Freedom Struggle in Escambia County, Florida, 1960-1980, 7 p.m. Sept. 29 at Ponce Hall, 74 King St., 819-6205, flagler.edu.

MEGA PET ADOPTION First Coast No More Homeless Pets, Jacksonville Animal Care and Protective Services and Jacksonville Humane Society offer more than 1,000 pets 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Sept. 30 at Jacksonville Fairgrounds, 510 Fairground Place, Downtown. The $20 fee includes spay/ neuter, microchip, vaccines and city license, fcnmhp.org.

DATIL PEPPER FESTIVAL & HOME AND GARDEN SHOW The Datil Pepper Fall Show has a cook-off, vendors, rain barrels for sale, garden and arboretum tours, and plant sale, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Oct. 1 and 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Oct. 2 at UF/ IFAS Extension St. Johns County Agricultural Center, St. Augustine. The cook-off is 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m. Oct. 1, taste tickets $1. For more info, go to stjohns.ifas.ufl.edu.

FESTA ITALIANA The 26th annual Festa Italiana, with authentic Italian foods, live music, a kids’ bounce house, and souvenirs, is held 11 a.m.-8 p.m. Oct. 1 and noon-6 p.m. Oct. 2 at Italian American Club of Jacksonville, 2838 Westberry Rd., Mandarin, 586-2616, iacofjacksonville.com.

CHARLES MARTIN BOOK SIGNING Bestselling author Martin reads and signs copies of his new novel, Long Way Gone, 7 p.m. Oct. 4 at The BookMark, 220 First St. N., Neptune Beach, 241-9026, bookmarkbeach.com. ____________________________________________ To list an event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price, contact number to print to Daniel A. Brown – email dbrown@folioweekly.com or mail, 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Items run as space is available. Deadline noon Wed. for next Wed. printing.

SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 4, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 49

FOLIO A+E : MUSIC Firebrand supergroup Prophets of Rage won’t let these crazy times GO GENTLY into that good night

I

SHOUT IT

LOUD

f you were an American historian trying to pinpoint the best time to start a politically radical, sonically ferocious, no-holds-barred band, you’d pick 2016. Folio Weekly readers know full well the disgusting depths to which this year’s political campaigns have sunk. Twothirds of voters love one candidate and loathe the other; the other third figures that, no matter who wins, America will plunge into chaos.

Yet most musicians, many of whom (newsflash!) have liberal tendencies, are either too hesitant to wade into the political fray clusterfuck or too confident in the but how could these five men get together prevailing spirit of America’s humanity to and not deliver some of the loudest, fastest, entertain the possibility of Trump being most-hard-hitting music on the planet? elected. But for Tom Morello, Brad Wilk, Creatively transformed and imbued with Tim Commerford, Chuck D, DJ Lord and B extra vigor, these exhortations against racial Real — that’s three of four Rage Against The injustice, structural inequality, and humanity’s Machine members, two dudes from agit-rap darker ills somehow seem more pertinent and icons Public Enemy, and one ferocious in 2016 than when quiet yet supremely talented written in the ’80s and ’90s.

MC from Cypress Hill — At first, the band didn’t PROPHETS OF RAGE with AWOLNATION, WAKRAT sitting back and waiting this plan on playing more 7 p.m. Sept. 30, St. Augustine one out was not an option. than a handful of siteAmphitheatre, $24-$64, In May, the five disparate specific shows, including staugustineamphitheatre.com artists followed up a guerrilla a much-celebrated protest marketing campaign performance outside (discreet fliers posted around the Republican National LA, an apocalyptic countdown clock on Convention in Cleveland. But in August, the Rage’s Twitter account) by announcing Prophets’ avalanche started — and it hasn’t the formation of Prophets of Rage. And a stopped. The group released a thoughtband member nailed the brief bio perfectly: provoking, eardrum-pummeling five-song Describing the Prophets to Rolling Stone, EP, The Party’s Over. They didn’t let a guitar wizard Morello said they were “an canceled gig inside a Northern California elite task force of revolutionary musicians prison stop them; they set up a guerrilla determined to confront this mountain of show outside the fence. They melted the election year bullshit and confront it headfaces off late-night TV, then announced a on with Marshall stacks blazing.” nationwide Make America Rage Again tour, Progressive activists and rap-metal fans raising money and awareness at every stop rejoined when livewire frontman Zack de la for a local social justice nonprofit.

Rocha announced his retirement. But Morello If you know Rage Against the Machine, couldn’t get the impact of Rage’s songs out Public Enemy or Cypress Hill, you know of his head, so he organically built the new what to expect from Prophets of Rage when supergroup one by one. After everyone signed they storm St. Augustine Amphitheatre Sept.

30. But if you’re unsure about going to the up, Tim and Brad got de la Rocha’s blessing, then scheduled one star-studded LA show show, consider this: Every band member after a week of rehearsal. “I’ve been doing seems personally invested in this little-known Pilates the past two years,” 55-year-old Chuck Martin Luther King Jr. quotation: “The hottest D told Rolling Stone, “[and] I don’t know if the place in hell is reserved for those who remain Pilates prepared me for [those] rehearsals. It neutral in times of great moral conflict.” was five hours of relentless speed and energy.

As Morello told RS, “We can no longer Four hours of yelling and loud and bringing stand on the sidelines of history. Dangerous the noise for five, six days a week. I don’t think times demand dangerous songs. Both Donald normal people could do this shit.”

Trump and Bernie Sanders are constantly Live, it was a jaw-dropping display of referred to in the media as raging against righteous aggression and sonic fury: Rage the machine. We’ve come back to remind anthems like “Killing in the Name” and “Take everyone what raging against the machine the Power Back,” classic Public Enemy cuts really means. It’s a voice that’s been missing like “Prophets of Rage” (hence the band too long in the national/international name) and “Fight the Power,” subtler social dialogue, and it’s back. What better place than commentaries from Cypress Hill like “How here? What better time than now?”

Could I Just Kill a Man,” and a few choice Nick McGregor originals. Some pretended to be shocked, mail@folioweekly.com

50 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 4, 2016

Much-loved Miami rockers JACUZZI BOYS (pictured) rock the house with THE COSMIC GROOVE, STEVEN MARSHEK GROUP, GOV CLUB, and THE DEWARS Sept. 30 at Shanghai Nobby’s, St. Augustine.

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK

SPADE McQUADE 6 p.m. Sept. 28, Fionn MacCool’s Irish Pub, Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247.

The ANN WILSON THING 8 p.m. Sept. 28, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., 209-0399, $73-$119.

Music by the Sea: MBTS ALL STAR BAND 7 p.m. Sept. 28, St. Augustine Beach Pier & Pavilion, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., thecivicassociation.org. Bring something to sit on.

BLACK UHURU 8 p.m. Sept. 28, Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $15 advance; $20 day of.

NEW KINGSTON, SENSAMOTION 7:30 p.m. Sept. 29, 1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St., Downtown, $12-$15.

The SESSION 7:30 p.m. Sept. 29, Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., St. Nicholas, 352-7008, $10.

“3” the BAND 9 p.m. Sept. 29, Flying Iguana, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680.

I The MIGHTY, DAYSHELL, ARTIFEX PEREO, PICTURESQUE 6 p.m. Sept. 30, 1904 Music Hall, $13-$15.

Fourth Annual Friday Night Live! Music Festival 7 p.m. Sept.

30, Hemming Park, 117 W. Duval St., Downtown, 255-7900.

PROPHETS of RAGE, AWOLNATION, WAKRAT 7 p.m. Sept.

30, St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., 209-0367, $24-$64.

COMPLICATED ANIMALS 7 p.m. Sept. 30, Unity Plaza Amphitheater, 220 Riverside Ave., 220-5830.

MIKE SHACKELFORD, STEVE SHANHOLTZER, JOEY KERR 7:30 p.m. Sept. 30, Mudville Music Room, $10.

ERIC ROBERSON 7:30 p.m. Sept. 30, Mavericks Live, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 356-1110, $50.

JONNY LANG, GUTHRIE BROWN 8 p.m. Sept. 30, Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $37.50-$50.

JACUZZI BOYS, The COSMIC GROOVE, STEVEN MARSHEK GROUP, GOV CLUB, The DEWARS 8 p.m. Sept. 30, Shanghai Nobby’s, 10 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 547-2188.

DESTROYER, ZACHARY COLE 8 p.m. Sept. 30, Jack Rabbits, $12.

SARAH JAROSZ, PARKER MILLSAP 8 p.m. Sept. 30, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, $19-$41.50.

NO NEED 8 p.m. Sept. 30, The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 264-0611.

LOVE MONKEY 9:30 p.m. Sept. 30 & Oct. 1, Whiskey Jax, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., 634-7208.

Riverside Arts Market: Morning yoga, JESSE MONTOYA, ROBERT LESTER FOLSOM, JOEY KERR 11:30 a.m. Oct. 1, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449.

Adult BYOB Cruise: DAN VOLL 5:30 p.m. Oct. 1, 1 N. Front St., Fernandina, 261-9972, ameliarivercruises.com.

TIGER ARMY, CREEPER 7 p.m. Oct. 1, 1904 Music Hall, $20-$25.

DAVIS TURNER 8 p.m. Oct. 1, Slider’s Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., Fernandina, 277-6652.

DEADAIRES, LIQUID LIMBS, BIRTHDAY PONY, BITEMARKS 8 p.m. Oct. 1, Jack Rabbits, $5.

STRYPER 8 p.m. Oct. 1, Murray Hill Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., 388-7807, $30-$35.

REGGAE SWAT TEAM 10 p.m. Oct. 1, Flying Iguana.

Folio Weekly 2016 Best of Jax Party: The 77Ds 5-7 p.m. Oct. 2, Bold City Brewery, 2670 Rosselle St., Ste. 7, Riverside, 379-6551, $5 admission includes dinner and a beer, folioweekly.com.

AFTON SHOWCASE 6 p.m. Oct. 2, 1904 Music Hall, $11.

DEADAIRES, EARLY DISCLAIMERS, COSMIC GROOVE, BITEMARKS 8 p.m. Oct. 2, Planet Sarbez, 115 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 342-0632.

LIL YACHTY & FRIENDS 6 p.m. Oct. 3, Mavericks Live, $20-$30.

JODY SEABODY & the WHIRLS, STRANGE FRIEND 7 p.m.

Oct. 4, Jack Rabbits, $8 advance; $10 day of.

The DANDY WARHOLS, SAVOY MOTEL 8 p.m. Oct. 4, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, $25 (SRO).

VEINY HANDS, TWISTY CATS 8 p.m. Oct. 4, Rain Dogs, 1045 Park St., Riverside, 379-4969.

DOPAPOD, PIGEONS PLAYING PING PONG 7 p.m. Oct. 5, 1904 Music Hall, $20-$25.

LO KEY, SUNZ of SAMM, BDT, AUTOMATIK FIT, LIGGET the DEMON, ORIAS 7 p.m. Oct. 5, Jack Rabbits, $10.

BIRDS in a ROW, FRAMEWORKS, YASHIRA, CAVE MOTH, ARMS 8 p.m. Oct. 5, Nighthawks, 2952 Roosevelt Blvd., Riverside.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

GEORGE THOROGOOD & the DESTROYERS Oct. 6, The Florida Theatre DAVID WILCOX Oct. 6, Café Eleven EDWIN McCAIN Oct. 6, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CROWBAR, AXIOM, COUGHIN, IMMUNE Oct. 6, Nighthawks YG Oct. 7, Mavericks Live INSANE CLOWN POSSE Oct. 7, Limes Live ARTISTREE, TWAN Oct. 7, Nighthawks SET IT OFF Oct. 7, Jack Rabbits DJ LAMARS, PRIMITIVE HARDDRIVE, SILENT SERMON, LOWERCASE G Oct. 7, Rain Dogs BILLY BUCHANAN (Prince Tribute) Oct. 7, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall DJ 3 CLOPS I, ONRY OSSBOURNE, ROB SONIS, ELLA & FORREIGN, TWAN, MR. AL PETE, DARYL Oct. 8, Rain Dogs The VIBRATORS Oct. 9, Harmonious Monks KORN, BREAKING BENJAMIN Oct. 12, Vets Memorial Arena DJ J MIX Oct. 12, Nighthawks The GOOCH PALMS, The COSMIC GROOVE, MENTAL BOY Oct. 12, Shanghai Nobby’s HAWTHORNE HEIGHTS, CONVICTIONS, IN HER OWN WORDS Oct. 13, Limes Live MILK SPOT, The MOLD, DIGDOG Oct. 13, Nighthawks The CURRYS Oct. 13, Mudville Music Room DONNA the BUFFALO, PETER ROWAN BLUEGRASS BAND, BLUEGROUND UNDERGRASS Oct. 13-16, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park The RAGING NATHANS, WONK UNIT Oct. 13, Nobby’s NEEDTOBREATHE, MAT KEARNY, PARACHUTE, WELSHLY ARMS Oct. 13, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ASTRONAUTALIS, CESCHI & FACTOR CHANDELIER, TRANSIT Oct. 13, Jack Rabbits Jacksonville Music Fest: MAZE, FRANKIE BEVERLY, JAHEIM, JOE Oct. 14, Veterans Memorial Arena LARRY MANGUM’S SONGWRITERS’ CIRCLE Oct. 14, Mudville Music Room RUE SNIDER Oct. 14, Nighthawks Beaches Oktoberfest: BLUES TRAVELER, COLLIE BUDDZ, The MOVEMENT Oct. 14-16, SeaWalk Pavilion, Jax Beach WellRED Comedy Tour: TRAE CROWDER, COREY RYAN FORRESTER, DREW MORGAN Oct. 14, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall Live Original Tour: SADIE ROBERTSON Oct. 14, The Florida Theatre 20th annual Magnolia Fest: JJ GREY & MOFRO, KELLER WILLIAMS, The INFAMOUS STRINGDUSTERS, ZACH DEPUTY,

BILLY BRAGG, SARAH LEE GUTHRIE, THIS FRONTIER NEEDS HEROES Oct. 15, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JOHN MAYALL Oct. 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BEACH SLANG, BLEACHED, HUNNY Oct. 15, Jack Rabbits The CRYPTICS, MOCK TOXINS, KID YOU NOT, CHUCK MENTAL Oct. 15, Planet Sarbez Jax Drum N Bass 11th Anniversary: DJ CHEF ROCC, ILL TERROR, The CRYPTICS Oct. 15, Rain Dogs SCOTT BRADLEE’S POSTMODERN JUKEBOX Oct. 16, The Florida Theatre KIM RICHEY Oct. 16, Café Eleven The SHABOOMS Oct. 16, Nighthawks STEVEN CURTIS CHAPMAN, MAC POWELL, BRANDON HEATH Oct. 16, Times-Union Center TONEVENDOR RECORD FAIR Oct. 16, St. Augustine Amphitheatre PHISH Oct. 16, Veterans Memorial Arena EDEN, XX Oct. 17, Jack Rabbits The PSYCHEDELIC FURS Oct. 18, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall The LAST TEN SECONDS of LIFE, TRAITERS, SPITE, LANDFILL Oct. 18, Nighthawks TURNPIKE TROUBADOURS Oct. 18, St. Augustine Amphitheatre KEB’ MO’ BAND Oct. 18, The Florida Theatre J E DOUBLE F, DJ J MIX Oct. 19, Nighthawks JOSH RITTER Oct. 20, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CHASE BRYANT Oct. 20, Mavericks Live MARTIN LAWRENCE Oct. 21, Times-Union Center CONRAD OBERG BAND Oct. 21, Mudville Music Room ARTISTREE Oct. 21, Nighthawks DJ 3 CLOPS I, LA-A, DARKHORSE SALOON, EARNEST ST. MAFIA Oct. 21, Rain Dogs NEW MASTERSOUNDS, TURKUAZ Oct. 21, Mavericks Live FFN PUNK, FLAG on FIRE, SWILL, GROSS EVOLUTION Oct. 22, Nighthawks DJ CHEF ROCC, GLITTERBOMB! Oct. 22, Rain Dogs RUSTED ROOT, DEVON ALLMAN BAND Oct. 22, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall TOMBOI Oct. 22, TEDX Jacksonville, The Florida Theatre MDC, WARLORD, SADLY MISTAKEN Oct. 23, Jack Rabbits KEISHA & the CREEPERS Oct. 23, Mavericks Live FROSTFANG, UNEARTHLY CHILD Oct. 24, Shantytown Pub MARY CHAPIN CARPENTER Oct. 25, The Florida Theatre HATEBREED Oct. 25, Mavericks Live The AUDACITY, ELECTRIC WATER, GOV CLUB, The STEVEN MARSHEK GROUP, DJ J MIX Oct. 26, Nighthawks Pre-Fest Invasion: I CAME FROM EARTH, $2 CHEECH, KID YOU NOT, POTATO ROCKET, DAN WEBB & the SPIDERS, IRISH HANDCUFFS, AERIAL SALAD, The CAULFIELD CULT, BLACK DRUM, MENTAL BOY, NOSTRADOGMUS/ GREG HUGHES, NO FUN, NATO COLES & the BLUE DIAMOND BAND, The SCUTCHES, The RAGING NATHANS, WONK UNIT, FAULTS, SLEEPTALKER, LA PECHE, ROBES, TWELVE HOUR TURN, DREDGER Oct. 26 & 27, Planet Sarbez, Nobby’s LINDSEY STIRLING Oct. 27, The Florida Theatre SECRET STUFF, HODERA Oct. 27, The Gator Pit ERNIE EVANS Oct. 27, Mudville Music Room DJ ZANE 3 Oct. 27, Nighthawks JON LANGSTON Oct. 27, Mavericks Live The AVETT BROTHERS Oct. 28, Veterans Memorial Arena JUST the TIPS Oct. 28, Nighthawks ANTHONY HAMILTON, LALAH HATHAWAY, ERIC BENET Oct. 28, Times-Union Center

SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 4, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 51

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC DJ SHOTGUN, 12 HOUR TURN Oct. 28, Rain Dogs MIKE SHACKELFORD, STEVE SHANHOLTZER Oct. 28, Mudville Music Room ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW Oct. 29, The Florida Theatre BONNIE RAITT, The CALIFORNIA HONEYDROPS Oct. 29, St. Augustine Amphitheatre GOLDEN PELICANS, TENEMENT, DFMK, The MOLD Oct. 29, Shanghai Nobby’s MEAN JEANS, MELTED, DAGGER BEACH, DEEP THOUGHTS Oct. 29, Nighthawks DEPARTMENT of CORRECTION, DIE CHOKING, SHADOW HUNTER, LA-A, TOILER Oct. 29, Rain Dogs TODD SNIDER, ROREY CARROLL Oct. 29, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ELI YOUNG BAND Oct. 30, Mavericks Live Post Fest Invasion: The UNLOVABLES, MIKEY ERG, EMILYN BRODSKY, CHUCK MENTAL, LUCIFER SAM, I CAME FROM EARTH Nov. 2-3, Shanghai Nobby’s CASTING CROWNS, MATT MAHER, HANNAH KERR Nov. 3, Veterans Memorial Arena SURFER BLOOD Nov. 3, Café Eleven WHETHERMAN Nov. 3, Mudville Music Room LORD ALMIGHTY, MO’YNOQ, QUEEF HUFFER, SATURNINE Nov. 3, Shantytown Pub MAC SABBATH, COUGHIN Nov. 3, Jack Rabbits NF, FLEURIE Nov. 3, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall LO CASH Nov. 3, Mavericks Live GHOST, POPESTAR Nov. 4, The Florida Theatre RADOSLAV LORKOVIK, ANDREW HARDIN Nov. 4, Mudville Music Room BLAIR CRIMMINS & the HOOKERS Nov. 5, Café Eleven ZZ TOP Nov. 5, St. Augustine Amphitheatre The RED JUMPSUIT APPARATUS, CASSIDY LEE, IVAN PULLEY Nov. 6, Jack Rabbits DARYL HALL & JOHN OATES, TROMBONE SHORTY & ORLEANS AVENUE Nov. 9, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DOOMSTRESS, LA-A Nov. 9, Shantytown Pub TOOTS & the MAYTALS Nov. 9, Mavericks Live RUSHMOREFL, KID YOU NOT Nov. 9, Shanghai Nobby’s EVANESCENCE, SICK PUPPIES Nov. 10, St. Augustine Amphitheatre The DOOBIE BROTHERS, The FABULOUS THUNDERBIRDS Nov. 11, St. Augustine Amphitheatre BLEAK, MINDFIELD, CONSEQUENCE Nov. 11, Rain Dogs ODD SQUAD LIVE! Nov. 12, The Florida Theatre ANIMAL COLLECTIVE Nov. 12, Mavericks Live CHRIS YOUNG, DUSTIN LYNCH, CASSADEE POPE Nov. 12, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Lincolnville Porch Fest: CHELSEA SADDLER, TELEPATHIC LINES, RIVERNECKS, The WOBBLY TOMS, GHOST TROPIC,

52 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 4, 2016

L.A. Alt-rock heroes The DANDY WARHOLS (pictured) perform with SAVOY MOTEL Oct. 4 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall.

AMY HENDRICKSON, SAND FLEAS, ROBBIE DAMMIT & the BROKEN STRINGS, NESTA, RAMONA QUIMBY, KYLE WAGONER, EARLY DISCLAIMERS, LONESOME BERT & the SKINNY LIZARDS, KENSLEY STEWART, The WILLOWWACKS, ASLYN & the NAYSAYERS Nov. 12, St. Augustine TRACY MORGAN Nov. 12, Thrasher-Horne Center LEE GREENWOOD Nov. 13, St. Augustine Amphitheatre WAR Nov. 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MITSKI Nov. 13, Jack Rabbits THIEVERY CORPORATION, TAUK Nov. 15, Mavericks Live ERIC JOHNSON Nov. 16, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ETANA Nov. 16, Mavericks Live DAVISSON BROTHERS BAND Nov. 17, Café Eleven GALACTIC, The HIP ABDUCTION Nov. 17, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BOB DYLAN & HIS BAND Nov. 18, Times-Union Center SAVION GLOVER Nov. 18, The Florida Theatre

YELLOWCARD Nov. 18, Mavericks Live WVRM Fest 4: YOUNG and in the WAY, CULTURE KILLER, SHROUD EATER, HEXXUS, SPACE CADAVER, 25 more Nov. 18 & 19, 1904 Music Hall Swamp Radio: KATHERINE ARCHER, DUFFY BISHOP, UNNAMED TRIO Nov. 19, St. Augustine Amphitheatre WONDER YEARS, REAL FRIENDS Nov. 19, Mavericks Live NELLIE McCAY Nov. 19, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ENTER the HAGGIS Nov. 20, Café Eleven MANNHEIM STEAMROLLER Nov. 21, Times-Union Center DAVID CROSBY & FRIENDS Nov. 21, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall STEVE VAI Nov. 23, The Florida Theatre AARON TILL Nov. 26, Mudville Music Room KENNY G Nov. 28, The Florida Theatre QUEENSRYCHE, ARMORED SAINT Nov. 29, Mavericks Live DREAM THEATER Nov. 29, The Florida Theatre PERPETUAL GROOVE Nov. 30, Mavericks Live CALIFORNIA GUITAR TRIO Dec. 1, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BOYZ TO MEN Dec. 1, Thrasher-Horne Center PATRICK BARTLEY Dec. 1, Ritz Theatre DAVE KOZ & FRIENDS CHRISTMAS, VALERIE SIMPSON, KENNY LATIMORE, JONATHAN BUTLER Dec. 1, The Florida Theatre Winter Formal: The 1975, PHANTOGRAM, SILVERSUN PICKUPS, GLASS ANIMALS, COIN Dec. 2, St. Augustine Amphitheatre The STANLEY CLARKE BAND Dec. 2, P.Vedra Concert Hall SARA EVANS Dec. 2, The Florida Theatre SAM PACETTI Dec. 2, Mudville Music Room ROCK ’N’ ROLL HOLIDAY SHOW Dec. 3, The Florida Theatre TRAVIS TRITT Dec. 4, The Florida Theatre NIYKEE HEATON Dec. 4, Mavericks Live TAYLOR HICKS Dec. 7, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PIERCE PETTIS Dec. 8, Mudville Music Room CHRIS LANE Dec. 10, Mavericks Live A Peter White Christmas: RICK BRAUN, EUGE GROOVE Dec. 11, The Florida Theatre The OAK RIDGE BOYS Dec. 13, The Florida Theatre TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA Dec. 15, Vets Memorial Arena GRIFFIN HOUSE Dec. 18, Café Eleven JACKIE EVANCHO Dec. 21, The Florida Theatre DONNA the BUFFALO, BUTCH TRUCKS & the FREIGHT TRAIN BAND Dec. 29, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MICHAEL BOLTON Jan. 11, The Florida Theatre WIMPY RUTHERFORD & the CRYPTICS Jan. 13, Nobby’s LOS LOBOS Jan. 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PINK MARTINI Jan. 17, The Florida Theatre JEANNE ROBERTSON Jan. 21, The Florida Theatre ELVIS LIVES Jan. 24, Times-Union Center GLADYS KNIGHT Jan. 25, The Florida Theatre KATHLEEN MADIGAN Jan. 27, The Florida Theatre KENNY ROGERS, LINDA DAVIS Jan. 28, Thrasher-Horne Center The BEACH BOYS Jan. 28, The Florida Theatre VOCALOSITY Feb. 1, The Florida Theatre CHRISTIE DASHIELL Feb. 2, Ritz Theatre ARLO GUTHRIE Feb. 2, The Florida Theatre PAT METHENY, ANTONIO SANCHEZ, LINDA OH, GWILYM SIMCOCK Feb. 3, The Florida Theatre BOSTON POPS ESPLANDE ORCHESTRA Feb. 4, Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts GAELIC STORM Feb. 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall TAJ MAHAL Feb. 10, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall The BABES Feb. 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall UNDER the STREETLAMP Feb. 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ANDY McKEE Feb. 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THREE DOG NIGHT, AMERICA Feb. 16, The Florida Theatre The PIANO GUYS Feb. 17, The Florida Theatre TOBYMAC, MATT MAHER, MANDISA, MAC POWELL, CAPITAL KINGS, RYAN STEVENSON, HOLLYN Feb. 17, Veterans Memorial Arena SOUTHSIDE JOHNNY & the ASBURY JUKES Feb. 19, The Florida Theatre

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC COLIN HAY Feb. 22, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall JOE BONAMASSA Feb. 22, The Florida Theatre MINDI ABAIR Feb. 23, Ritz Theatre MANHATTAN TRANSFER, TAKE 6 Feb. 23, Florida Theatre ELIZABETH COOK, DALE WATSON Feb. 24, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall OLD 97’s, BOTTLE ROCKETS Feb. 25, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall DENNIS DeYOUNG, Jacksonville Rock Symphony Orchestra Feb. 26, The Florida Theatre AGENT ORANGE, GUTTERMOUTH, The QUEERS, The ATOM AGE Feb. 26, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Backyard Party TAJ EXPRESS Feb. 28, TimesUnion Center MARC COHN March 1, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall The WEIGHT, members of The Band March 3, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall Duval metal dudes YASHIRA SPYRO GYRA March 5, The (pictured) perform with BIRDS Florida Theatre IN A ROW, FRAMEWORKS, CAVE KODO March 11, The Florida Theatre MOTH, and ARMS Oct. 5 at CLINT BLACK March 12, The Nighthawks, Riverside.

Florida Theatre The CHARLIE DANIELS BAND March 16, The Florida Theatre GET the LED OUT March 17, The Florida Theatre CAMDEN COUNTY, GA. PILOBOLUS SHADOWLAND March 21, The Florida Theatre CAPTAIN STAN’S Smokehouse, 700 Bedell Dr., Woodbine, JIM BRICKMAN March 31, The Florida Theatre 912-729-9552 Acoustic music 6:30 p.m. every Sat. RICK THOMAS April 1, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall LITTLE RIVER BAND, Jacksonville Rock Symphony DOWNTOWN Orchestra April 7, The Florida Theatre 1904 MUSIC Hall, 19 Ocean St. N. New Kingston, BUDDY GUY, The RIDES (Stephen Stills, Kenny Wayne Sensamotion 7:30 p.m. Sept. 29. I The Mighty, Dayshell, Shepherd, Barry Goldberg) April 9, St. Augustine Artifex Pereo, Picturesque Sept. 30. Tiger Army, Creeper, Amphitheatre Tijuana Panthers 7 p.m. Oct. 1. Afton Showcase, Tantric, CHRIS BOTTI April 18, The Florida Theatre Alien Ant Farm, Trapt, Saliva, Vicious Green Monster 6 p.m.

MJ LIVE! April 20-23, Times-Union Center Oct. 2. Dopapod, Pigeons Playing Ping Pong 7 p.m. Oct. 5 TOWER of POWER April 22, The Florida Theatre DE REAL TING, 128 W. Adams St., 633-9738 De Lions of ERIC CHURCH May 5, Veterans Memorial Arena Jah 7 p.m. Sept. 30 DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 DJ Brandon every Thur. DJ NickFresh every Sat. DJ Randall every Mon. DJ Hollywood every Tue. AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA FIONN MacCOOL’S, Jax Landing, 374-1247 Spade ALLEY CAT BEER HOUSE, 316 Centre St., 491-1001 Dan McQuade 6 p.m. Sept. 28 & Oct. 5. Jimmy Solari Sept. 30 & Voll 6:30 p.m. Sept. 28. John Springer every Thur. & Sat. Oct. 2. Chuck Nash Oct. 1 Gitlo Lee Blues every Fri. JACKSONVILLE Landing, 353-1188 Chillula Band 8 p.m.

LA MANCHA, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646 Miguel Paley Sept. 30. SunJammer Oct. 1. 418 Band Oct. 2 5:30-9 p.m. every Fri.-Sun. Javier Parez every Sun. MARK’S Downtown, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Dr. SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652 Doom 10 p.m. every Fri. DJ Shotgun 10 p.m. every Sat. King Eddie & Pili Pili 6 p.m. Sept. 28. Tad Jennings Sept. 29.

MAVERICKS LIVE, Jax Landing, 356-1110 Kimberly JC, Tad Jennings, Davis Turner Oct. 1. South Mouth Oct. 2.

Holloway 7 p.m., Eric Roberson 7:30 p.m. Sept. 30. Lil Yachty Mark O’Quinn Oct. 4 & Friends 6 p.m. Oct. 3. Joe Buck, DJ Justin every Thur.-Sat. SURF RESTAURANT, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 MYTH Nightclub, 333 E. Bay St., 707-0474 DJs Lady Yancy Clegg every Tue. & Thur. Black Jack Band every Fri. Miaou, Booty Boo, Cry Havoc, Some Dude 9 p.m. Glitz Wed. Q45, live music Wed. EDM every Thur. Eric Rush every Fri. DJ AVONDALE, ORTEGA IBay Sat. Bangarang & Crunchay Sun. CASBAH Café, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music 9 p.m.

FLEMING ISLAND every Mon. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999 ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free 9 p.m. every Tue. Live music most weekends & Thur. Indie dance 9 p.m. every Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance WHITEY’S Fish Camp, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 X Hale 9 every Fri. p.m. Sept. 30 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200 Live music every Thur.-Sat.

LIVE MUSIC CLUBS

THE BEACHES (All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted)

BLUE TYPHOON, 2309 Beach Blvd., 379-3789 Billy Bowers 5:30 p.m. Sept. 28. Live music most weekends BRASS ANCHOR Pub, 2292 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0301 Joe Oliff Sept. 28 FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680 3 the Band 9 p.m. Sept. 29. Evan Michael & the Well Wishers 10 p.m. Sept. 30. Reggae SWAT Team Oct. 1. Live music on weekends GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925 Groov 7:30 p.m. every Wed. Murray Goff Fri. Under the Bus every Sat. Gene Nordan 6 p.m. every Sun. HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815 Live music weekends LYNCH’S Irish Pub, 514 First St. N., 249-5181 The Mellow Relics 10 p.m. Sept. 30. John Spreier, Swamp Ash Trio 10 p.m. Oct. 1. Live music every night MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 Third St. N., 241-5600 Oklahoma Stackhouse 9 p.m. Sept. 29. MZG Oct. 6. Live music weekends MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573 Gypsies Ginger every Wed. Mike Shackelford, Steve Shanholtzer every Thur. Mezza Shuffle every Mon. Trevor Tanner every Tue. MONKEY’S UNCLE, 1728 Third St. N., 246-1070 DJ every Wed., Sat. & Sun. RAGTIME Tavern, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877 Live music every Wed.-Sun. SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 1018 Third St. N., 372-4456 Billy Buchanan 5 p.m. Oct. 2 SEACHASERS, 831 First St. N., 372-0444 The Chris Thomas Band 8 p.m. Sept. 30

INTRACOASTAL

CLIFF’S Bar & Grill, 3033 Monument Rd., Ste. 2, 645-5162 The Warning 10 p.m. Sept. 30. M.T. Arms Blues Duo 8 p.m.

Oct. 5 GERMAN SCHNITZEL HAUS, 13475 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 40, 221-9700 Oompah Band Sept. 30 & Oct. 1 JERRY’S, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766 Lucky Stiff 10 p.m. Sept. 30

MANDARIN

ENZA’S Italian Restaurant, 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 109, 268-4458 Brian Iannucci Sept. 28 & Oct. 2

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

The HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael on the piano every Tue.-Sat. The ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 DJ Big Mike Sept. 29. No Need 10 p.m. Sept. 30. Live music every weekend SHARK Club, 714 Park Ave., 215-1557 Digital Skyline Sept. 28 VINO JAVA Brew House, 636 Kingsley Ave., 458-4546 The Anton LaPlume Band 7 p.m. Sept. 29

PONTE VEDRA

PUSSER’S GRILLE, 816 A1A, 280-7766 Ryan Crary Sept.

28. Aaron Koerner Sept. 29. Matt Henderson Sept. 30. Billy Buchanan Oct. 1. Live music every weekend TABLE 1, 330 A1A, 280-5515 Deron Baker Sept. 28 & Oct. 5. Robbie Litt Sept. 30. Javier Naranjo Oct. 1. Gary Starling Jazz Band Oct. 6. Tier 2 Oct. 7

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

BOLD CITY Brewery, 2670 Rosselle St., Ste. 7, 379-6551 Folio Weekly 2016 Best of Jax Party: The 77Ds 5-7 p.m. Oct. 2

BRIXX, 220 Riverside Ave., 300-3928 Live music every Thur. & Fri. HOBNOB, 220 Riverside Ave., Ste. 10, 513-4272 Live music every Fri. MURRAY HILL Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave., 388-7807 Stryper 8 p.m. Oct. 1. For Today, Gideon, Wage War, Rival Choir 6:30 p.m. Oct. 2 NIGHTHAWKS, 2952 Roosevelt Blvd. Birds in a Row, Frameworks, Yashira, Cave Moth, Arms 8 p.m. Oct. 5 RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969 Viva le Fox, Mudtown Sept. 30. Veiny Hands, Twisty Cats 8 p.m. Oct. 4 RIVERSIDE Arts Market, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449 Jesse Montoya, Robert Lester Folsom, Joey Kerr 10:30 a.m.

Oct. 1 UNITY PLAZA, 220 Riverside Ave. Complicated Animals 7 p.m. Sept. 30

ST. AUGUSTINE

CAFE ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311 David Wilcox 8:30 p.m. Oct. 6 CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 Brady Reich, Ancient City Keepers Sept. 30. Mid-Life Crisis Oct. 1. Vinny Jacobs Oct. 2 MARDI GRAS, 123 San Marco Ave., 823-8806 Blood Sugar Sex Magik Sept. 30. Peach Life (Allman Bros. tribute) Oct. 1.

The Daygos Oct. 7 & 8. Fre Gordon open mic Oct. 2. DJ Rob St. John every Wed. NOBBY’S, 10 Anastasia Blvd., 547-2188 Jacuzzi Boys, The Cosmic Groove, Steven Marshek Group, Gov Club, The Dewars 8 p.m. Sept. 30 PLANET SARBEZ, 115 Anastasia Blvd., 342-0632 Deadaires, Early Disclaimers, Cosmic Groove, Bitemarks 8 p.m. Oct. 2 TRADEWINDS LOUNGE, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Lisa & the Mad Hatters Sept. 30 & Oct. 1. Live music every Fri. & Sat.

SAN MARCO

JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Black Uhuru 8 p.m. Sept. 28. Destroyer, Zachary Cale 8 p.m. Sept.

30. Deadaires, Liquid Limbs, Birthday Pony, Bitemarks 8 p.m.

Oct. 1. Jody Seabody & The Whirls, Strange Friend 7 p.m.

Oct. 4. Lo Key, Sunz of Samm, BDT, Automatik Fit, Ligget the Demon, Orias 7 p.m. Oct. 5 MUDVILLE Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 The Session 7:30 p.m. Sept. 29. Mike Shackelford, Steve Shanholtzer, Joey Kerr 7:30 p.m. Sept. 30

SOUTHSIDE, BAYMEADOWS

GREEK STREET CAFÉ, 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 503-0620 Tavernalive 6 p.m. every Mon. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955 Paul Ivey Sept. 29. Mark O’Quinn Sept. 30. Barrett Jockers Oct. 1 WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., 634-7208 Love Monkey 9:30 p.m. Sept. 30 & Oct. 1. Melissa Smith open mic every Thur. Blues jam every Sun. Country jam every Wed.

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

The BIRDHOUSE, 1827 N. Pearl St., 634-7523 Frameworks Oct. 5 The HEADLAMP, 818 Clay St. Live music every Fri. & Sat. SANDOLLAR, 9716 Heckscher Dr., 251-2449 Live music every Fri.-Sun.

__________________________________

To list your band’s gig, please send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price, and a contact number to print to Daniel A. Brown, email dbrown@ folioweekly.com or by the U.S. Postal Service, 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Events run on a space-available basis. Deadline is at noon every Wednesday for the next Wednesday’s publication.

SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 4, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 53

FOLIO DINING

As the winner of Best Neighborhood Bar in Orange Park/Fleming Island/ Green Cove Springs, Taps Bar & Grill is the place the locals go for great food, cold drinks and good times. photo by Dennis Ho

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH

29 SOUTH EATS, 29 S. Third St., 277-7919, 29southrestaur ant.com. Historic downtown bistro’s Chef Scotty Schwartz serves traditional regional cuisine with a modern twist. $$ L Tu-Sa; D M.-Sa; R Sa BEACH DINER, 2006 S. Eighth St., 310-3750, beachdiner.com.

Innovative breakfast: Eggs on the Bayou, fish-n-grits; French toast, riders, omelets. Lunch fare: salads, burgers, sandwiches, shrimp & crabmeat salad. $ K TO B R L Da ily BRETT’S Waterway Café, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F On the water at Centre Street’s end, it’s Southern hospitality in an upscale atmosphere; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo.com. F In historic building, family-owned café has worldly fare, madefrom-scratch dressings, sauces, desserts, sourcing fresh greens, veggies, seafood. Dine inside or al fresco under oak-shaded patio. Microbrew Karibrew Pub next door has beer brewed onsite, imports. $$ FB K TO R, Su; L Daily, D Tu-Su in season CHEZ LEZAN Bakery Co., 1014 Atlantic Ave., 491-4663, chez lezanbakery.com. Fresh European-style breads, pastries: croissants, muffins, cakes, pies. $ TO B R L Daily The CRAB TRAP, 31 N. Second St., 261-4749, ameliacrabtrap .com. F Nearly 40 years, family-owned-and-operated. Fresh local seafood, steaks, specials. HH. $$ FB L D Daily DAVID’S Restaurant & Lounge, 802 Ash St., 310-6049, amelia islanddavids.com. Steaks, fresh seafood, rack of lamb and ribeye, Chilean sea bass, in an upscale atmosphere. Chef Wesley Cox has a new lounge menu. $$$$ FB D Nightly DICK’S Wings & Grill, 474313 E. S.R. 200, 310-6945. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK.

JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddianes cafe.com. F Renovated 1887 shotgun house. Faves: jambalaya, French toast, pancakes, mac & cheese, crêpes. Vegan items.

Inside or porch overlooking historic area. $$ BW K TO B L D Daily La MANCHA, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646. Spanish, Portuguese fare, Brazilian flair. Tapas, seafood, steaks, sangria. Drink specials. AYCE paella Sun. $$$ FB K TO D Nightly LARRY’S Subs, 474272 S.R. 200, 844-2225. F SEE ORANGE PARK. LECHONERA EL COQUÍ, 232 N. Second St., 432-7545. New Puerto Rican place. Chulleta kan kan (pork chops), Tripletta churosco sandwich, more. Like the Isle of Enchantment on Amelia Island. $ FB TO L D Tu-Su MOON RIVER Pizza, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moonriver pizza.net. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Authentic Northernstyle pizzas, 20-plus toppings, pie/slice. Calzones, salads. $ BW TO L D M-Sa The MUSTARD SEED Café, 833 Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Casual organic eatery, juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juices, herbal teas, coffees, daily specials. $$ K TO B L M-Sa The PATIO PLACE, 416 Ash St., 410-3717, patioplacebistro. com. Bistro/wine bar/crêperie’s menu of global fare uses crêpes: starters, entrées, shareables, desserts. $$ BW TO B L D Tu-Su The PECAN ROLL Bakery, 122 S. Eighth St., 491-9815, thepec anrollbakery.com. F By historic district. Sweet/savory pastries, cookies, cakes, bagels, breads; from scratch. $ K TO B L W-Su POINTE Restaurant, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabethpointelodge.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. In award-winning inn Elizabeth Pointe Lodge. Seaside dining, open to public. Dine in or out. Hot buffet breakfast daily, full lunch menu. Homestyle soups, specialty sandwiches, salads, desserts. $$$ BW K B L D Daily The SALTY PELICAN Bar & Grill, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner.

To list your restaurant, call your account manager or Sam Taylor, 860-2465 • staylor@folioweekly.com

DINING DIRECTORY KEY

AVERAGE ENTRÉE • COST •

$ = Less than $10 $$ = $10- $20 $$$ = $20- $35 $$$$ = $35 & up BW = Beer/Wine FB = Full Bar K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch L = Lunch D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted free FW Bite Club event. fwbiteclub.com 2015 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot

54 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 4, 2016

2nd-story outdoor bar. Owners T.J. & Al offer local seafood, fish tacos, Mayport shrimp, po’boys, cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Oceanfront.

Award-winning handmade crabcakes, fried pickles, fresh seafood.

Open-air 2nd floor, balcony, playground. $$ FB K L D Daily T-RAY’S Burger Station, 202 S. Eighth St., 261-6310. F Family-owned-and-operated 18-plus years. Blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L M-Sa

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

DICK’S Wings, 9119 Merrill Rd., Ste. 19, 745-9300. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK.

LARRY’S Subs, 1301 Monument Rd., Ste. 5, 724-5802. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

SID & LINDA’S Seafood Market & Restaurant, 12220 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 109, 503-8276. Pick a whole fresh fish, have it cleaned, filleted, cooked to order. Dine in, take out. Housemade sauces. $$ K TO L D Daily

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

CHOMP CHOMP, 4162 Herschel St., 329-1679. Just relocated.

Chef-inspired: The Philadelphia Experiment (sweet pork over arugula), panko-crusted chicken, burgers, Waldorf salad, bahn mi, Southern fried chicken, The Come Up (portabella mushroom, green tomato salsa, almonds). Curry Chomp chips, pasta salad.

HH. $ BW L D Mon.-Sat. The FOX Restaurant, 3580 St. Johns Ave., 387-2669. Owners Ian and Mary Chase offer fresh fare, homemade desserts.

Breakfast all day; signature items: burgers, meatloaf, fried green tomatoes. $$ BW K L D Daily HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, harpoonlouies.net. F Locally owned & operated 20-plus years.

American pub. 1/2-lb. burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta. Local beers, HH. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200. F Bite Club. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.

PINEGROVE Market & Deli, 1511 PineGrove Ave., 389-8655, pinegrovemarket.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. 40+ years.

Burgers, Cubans, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher cuts USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. Fri. & Sat. fish fry. $ BW TO B L D M-Sa Restaurant ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaurantorsay.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. French/ Southern bistro; local organic ingredients. Steak frites, mussels, pork chops. $$$ FB R, Su; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simplysara s.net. F Down-home fare from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Tu-Sa, B Sa

BAYMEADOWS

AL’S Pizza, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.

INDIA’S Restaurant, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajax.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Authentic cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetables, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L M-Sa; D Nightly LARRY’S Giant Subs, 8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

METRO Diner, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., 425-9142. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE SAN MARCO.

NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 11030 Baymeadows Rd., 260-2791. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE MANDARIN. The WELL Watering Hole, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9, 737-7740, thewellwateringhole.com. Local craft beers, glass/ bottle wines. Meatloaf sandwich, pulled Peruvian chicken, vegan black bean burgers. $$ BW K TO L M-F; D Tu-Sa TEQUILAS, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 101, 363-1365, tequilasjacksonville.com. New Mexican place has casastyle dishes made with fresh, spicy hot ingredients.

Vegetarian option. Top-shelf tequilas, drink specials. $$ FB K TO L D Daily WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 135, 634-7208, whiskeyjax.com. Gastropub. Craft beers, gourmet burgers, handhelds, street fare tacos, signature plates, whiskey. HH. $$ FB L D F-Su; D Nightly

DINING DIRECTORY BEACHES

(Venues are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

Winner. SEE SAN MARCO.

M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-2599, mshackburgers. com. David and Matthew Medure flip burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes. Dine in or out. $$ BW L D Daily NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 1585 Third St. N., 458-1390. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE MANDARIN.

Try sushi the MODERN WAY: in a burrito

of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK.

GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 1915 East-West Parkway, 541-0009. F SEE RIVERSIDE. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999. F Bite Club. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.

TAPS Bar & Grill, 1605 C.R. 220, Ste. 145, 278-9421, tapspub lichouse.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. 50+ premium domestic, import tap beers. Burgers, sandwiches, entrées. $$ FB K L D Daily WHITEY’S Fish Camp, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteysfish camp.com. F Real fish camp. Gator tail, freshwater catfish, daily specials, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar. Come by boat, bike or car. $ FB K TO L Tu-Su; D Nightly

INTRACOASTAL WEST

AL’S Pizza, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.

DICK’S Wings, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 32, 223-0115. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK.

GERMAN SCHNITZEL HAUS, 13475 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 40, 221-9700, germanjax.com. Authentic German/fusion fare: schnitzels, plus bratwurst, stroganoff, käsesspätzle. 13 German beers in bottles, on tap. Bar bites, cocktails. Outdoor BierGarten. HH Tu-Thur. $$ FB L & D Tu-Su LARRY’S Subs, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

SURFWICHES Sandwich Shop, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 29, 559-5301. SEE BEACHES.

GRILL ME!

1534 Oak St., Riverside

BORN IN: Jacksonville YEARS IN THE BIZ: 13 FAVE RESTAURANT (besides mine): 13 Gypsies, Riverside FAVE CUISINE STYLE: Too many to pick just one FAVE INGREDIENTS: Fresh herbs, kosher salt and butter IDEAL MEAL: Fried chicken, rice & gravy, buttermilk biscuits and honey, sweet tea WON'T CROSS MY LIPS: I'll try anything at least once.

INSIDER'S TIP: Use fresh ingredients, especially herbs.

CELEBS (@ my place): William Shatner, Shahid Khan TASTE TREAT: Krispy Kreme donuts

DOWNTOWN

WRAP

FLEMING ISLAND

WAYLON RIVERS

AKEL’S Delicatessen, 21 W. Church St., 665-7324. 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 125, 446-3119, akelsdeli.com. F NYC-style deli. Fresh subs, sandwiches, burgers, gyros, wraps, vegetarian, breakfast, signature dressings. $ K TO B L M-F

FISH

DICK’S Wings, 1803 East-West Parkway, 375-2559. 2016 Best

BLACK SHEEP RESTAURANT

POE’S Tavern, 363 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7637, poestavern. com. Gastropub, 50+ beers, burgers, fries, fish tacos, Edgar’s Drunken Chili, daily fish sandwich special. $$ FB K L D Daily RAGTIME Tavern & Seafood Grill, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F 30-plus years, iconic seafood place. Blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily HH, brunch Sun. $$ FB L D Daily SALT LIFE Food Shack, 1018 Third St. N., 372-4456, saltlife foodshack.com. Specialty items, signature tuna poke bowl, fresh sushi, Ensenada tacos, local fried shrimp. $$ FB K TO L D Daily SEACHASERS, 831 First St. N., 372-0444, seachasers.com.

New place; four areas: First Street Bar, Music Room, Beach Bar, Dining Room. Daily HH. In or on patio. $$ FB L D Daily SLIDERS Seafood Grille & Oyster Bar, 218 First St., NB, 246-0881, slidersseafoodgrille.com. Beach-casual spot. Faves: Fresh fish tacos, gumbo. Key lime pie, ice cream sandwiches.

Brunch Sun. $$ FB K L Sa/Su; D Nightly SURFWICHES Sandwich Shop, 1537 Penman Rd., 241-6996, surfwiches.com. Craft sandwich shop. Yankee-style steak sandwiches, hoagies, all made to order. $ BW TO K L D Daily THIS CHICK’S KITCHEN, 353 Sixth Ave. S., 778-5404, thischickskitchen.com. Farm-to-table restaurant serving healthful, locally sourced clean meals. Gluten-free, vegan, vegetarian options. $$ TO L D W-Sa V PIZZA, 528 First St. N., 853-6633, vpizza.com. Traditional Neapolitana artisan pizza from Naples – Italy, not Florida, made with fresh ingredients. $$ FB TO L D Daily

BITE-SIZED

MANDARIN, NW ST. JOHNS

AKEL’s Deli, 12926 Granbay Pkwy. W., 880-2008. F SEE DOWNTOWN.

AL’s Pizza, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F 2016 Best of

Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.

BEACH Diner, 11362 San Jose Blvd., 683-0079. SEE AMELIA. CRUISERS, 5613 San Jose Blvd., 737-2874. 2016 Best of Jax

Winner. SEE BEACHES.

DICK’S Wings & Grill, 100 Marketside Ave., 829-8134.

1610 University Blvd. W., 448-2110. 10391 Old St. Augustine, 880-7087. 965 S.R. 16, 825-4540. 2016 Best of

Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK.

ENZA’S Italian Restaurant, 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 109, 268-4458, enzas.net. Family-owned place serves Italian cuisine, veal, seafood, specials. $$$ FB K TO D Tu-Su FIRST COAST Deli & Grill, 6082 St. Augustine Rd., 733-7477.

Pancakes, bacon, sandwiches, burgers, wings. $ K TO B L Daily JAX DINER, 5065 St. Augustine Rd.,739-7070. New spot serves local produce, meats, breads, seafood. $ TO B L Daily METRO Diner, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Organic soups, baked items, sandwiches, prepared foods. Juice, smoothie, coffee bar. All-natural organic beer/wine. $ BW TO K B L D Daily TAPS Bar & Grill, 2220 C.R. 210 W., Ste. 314, 819-1554. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE FLEMING ISLAND.

V PIZZA, 12601 San Jose Blvd., 647-9424. SEE SAN MARCO. WHOLE FOODS Market, 10601 San Jose, Ste. 22, 288-1100, wholefoodsmarket.com. Prepared-food department, 80-plus items, full-service/self-service bars: hot, salad, soup, dessert.

Pizza, sushi, sandwich stations. Grapes, Hops & Grinds bar serves wines, beers (craft/tap), coffees. $$ BW K TO B L D Daily

TWO WORDS: SUSHI BURRITO. WHEN THE powers that be combine two of my favorite foods, I don’t question it, I rejoice, specifically at KAZU SUSHI BURRITO just off Philips Highway.

The first question you may have might run along the lines of “Is it more sushi? Or more burrito?” My answer: definitely more sushi! Think about your favorite sushi roll, but in gargantuan proportions. Discussion at the table put Kazu’s sushi burrito at about the size of two or three regular rolls. I was slightly concerned about my hunger being sufficiently abated, but that wasn’t a problem. One went down fairly easily, and it was definitely loaded with sushi!

This is a quick lunch or dinner spot, so step right up to the counter and watch the magic happen. The set-up is similar to a Chipotle; you get to watch them put your burrito roll together.

The most satisfying part, besides devouring it, was watching them stuff it to the brim. When I go for burritos and they seem to be having trouble closing it up because it’s so full, I give a cheer — silently, of course, no need to spook the roller.

Each of the rolls we ordered required a “full brim cheer,” they were so packed to the gills.

Interested in building your own poke bowl/ salad or sushirrito? They’ve got you covered with two-protein ($10) and three-protein ($12) options, and more than enough mix-ins to fulfill every sushi burrito fantasy, like edamame, mango and avocado (much like at other burrito experiences, avocado is extra).

We tried three of the signature sushi burritos, Kazu Sushi Burrito, Hawaiian and the Dancing Shrimp. The Dancing Shrimp ($12) has shrimp tempura and steamed shrimp, seaweed salad, avocado, lettuce bacon, spicy mayo and eel sauce.

This roll’s surprises were salty bacon bites, which pair well with oceanic seaweed salad. The two salty flavors, along with the sweetness of the eel sauce and avocado, complement the crunch of the tempura shrimp and the softness of the steamed shrimp.

The Hawaiian ($12) has spicy tuna and spicy krab, seaweed salad, lettuce, sweet corn, mango, tempura crunch, and yuzu sauce. The surprising bonus of corn adds an explosion of sweet, flavorful, crunchy kernels. Another thing of note in the Hawaiian was the snap of the wasabi alongside the spicy tuna and shrimp.

Finally, the signature Kazu ($12) burrito features spicy tuna, salmon and shrimp tempura.

It’s got plenty of mix-ins, too — avocado, cucumber, mango, tobiko (fish eggs), red tempura flakes and shrimp sauce — it really has it all.

Feel confident you’re getting the freshest and best sushi roll you can; owner David Chen has another location, Kazu Japanese Restaurant, that’s renowned for its sashimi.

One last thing. Let’s talk about structure, because unlike a burrito, there is no bottom.

While this would usually be a recipe for a burrito disaster, at the hands of the capable rollers at Kazu, and with the help of some seriously sticky rice, we had very little fallout!

Brentley Stead biteclub@folioweekly.com

photo by Brentley Stead

AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0002, als pizza.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. NY-style gourmet pizzas, baked dishes. 28-plus years. All day HH M-Thu. $ FB K TO L D Daily ANGIE’S Subs, 1436 Beach Blvd., 246-2519. ANGIE’S Grom Subs, 204 Third Ave. S., 241-3663. Subs made with fresh ingredients, 25+ years. Huge salads, blue-ribbon iced tea.

Grom has Sun. brunch, no alcohol. $ K BW TO L D Daily BEACH Diner, 501 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 249-6500. SEE AMELIA. BEACH HUT Café, 1281 Third St. S., 249-3516. 28+ years.

Full breakfast menu served all day (darn good grits); hot plate specials Mon.-Fri. $ K TO B R L Daily CRUISERS Grill, 319 23rd Ave. S., 270-0356, cruisersgrill. com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Locally owned & operated 20+ years. Half-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, big salads, awardwinning cheddar fries, sangria. $ BW K TO L D Daily EUROPEAN Street Café, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001, european street.com. F SEE RIVERSIDE. FAMOUS TOASTERY, 311 N. Third St., 372-0712, famoustoast ery.com. New place has breakfast and lunch: corned beef hash, gluten-free pancakes, bacon, omelets, eggs, toast. Wraps, Bloody Marys, mimosas, peach Bellini. $$ FB K TO B L Daily The FISH COMPANY Restaurant, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 12, AB, 246-0123, thefishcojax.com. Bite Club. Casual. Oyster raw bar, fresh local seafood, Mayport shrimp, crab, lobster. Homestyle desserts. Patio; all-day HH Sun. $$ FB K TO L D Daily FLAMING SEAFOOD & SHAO KAO BBQ, 1289 Penman Rd., 853-6398. New place (is it Chinese? Barbecue? Seafood?) serves meats and vegetables, spiced, skewered on bamboo sticks – like Chinese street food. $ BW TO L D Daily FLYING IGUANA Taqueria & Tequila Bar, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680, flyingiguana.com. F Latin American: tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana fare. 100+ tequilas. $ FB TO L D Daily GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925, gustojax.com. Classic Old World Roman cuisine, large Italian menu: homestyle pasta, beef, chicken, fish delicacies; open pizza-tossing kitchen.

Reservations encouraged. $$ FB TO L R D Tu-Su The HASH HOUSE, 610 Third St. S., 422-0644, thelovingcup hashhouse.com. New place offers locally sourced fare, locally roasted coffees, gluten-free, vegan, vegetarian dishes – no GMOs or hormones. $ K TO B R L Daily LARRY’S Subs, 657 Third St. N., 247-9620. F SEE ORANGE PARK. MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 1018 Third St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600, mellowmushroom.com. F Bite Club. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Hoagies, gourmet pizzas: Mighty Meaty, vegetarian, Kosmic Karma. 35 tap beers. Nonstop HH. $ FB K TO L D Daily METRO Diner, 1534 3rd St. N., 853-6817. F 2016 Best of Jax

CANDY APPLE Café & Cocktails, 400 N. Hogan, 353-9717, thecandyapplecafeandcocktails.com. Chef-driven Southern/French cuisine, sandwiches, entrées, salads. $$ FB K L Daily; D Tu-Sa CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth St., 356-8282, casadoraitalian. com. F Chef Sam Hamidi serves Italian fare, 40+ years: veal, seafood, pizza. Homemade salad dressing. $ BW K L M-F; D M-Sa FIONN MacCOOL’S Irish Pub & Restaurant, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1547, fionnmacs.com. Casual dining, uptown Irish atmosphere; fish & chips, Guinness lamb stew, black-and-tan brownies. $$ FB K L D Daily INDOCHINE, 21 E. Adams St., Ste. 200, 598-5303, indochine jax.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Thai, Southeast Asian cuisine.

Signature dishes: chicken Satay, soft shell crab; mango, sticky rice dessert. $$ FB TO L D M-F; D Tu-Sa OLIO Market, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com. F From-scratch soups, sandwiches. Duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L M-F; D F & Sa URBAN GRIND Coffee Company, 45 W. Bay, Ste. 102, 866-3953954, 516-7799, urbangrind.coffee. Locally roasted whole bean brewed coffees, espressos, pastries, smoothies, bagels, cream cheeses. Chicken/tuna salad, sandwiches. WiFi. $ B L M-F. URBAN Grind Express, 50 W. Laura, 516-7799. SEE ABOVE. ZODIAC Bar & Grill, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283, thezodiac barandgrill.com. 16-plus years. Mediterranean cuisine, American fare, paninis, vegetarian dishes. Daily lunch buffet.

Espressos, hookahs. HH M-F $ FB L M-F; D W-Sa

BITE-SIZED

SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 4, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 55

DINING DIRECTORY Multitask by COMBINING EXERCISING with imbibing

PINT-SIZED

LACED UP &

HALF COCKED

BEER A BEER B AND ND FFITNESS ITTNE NESS SS M MAY AY S SEEM EEM EE M LIKE KE strang strange t ge bedfellows, but the world’s favorite alcoholic beverage is actually a central component of many running group’s activities. All over Jacksonville, runners are mixing exercise with their love for craft beer. What may be the least-known, yet most outrageous, group is known simply as hashers.

Hashers are members of a larger, decentralized organization called Hash House Harriers, or H3 for short. Each chapter of hashers, sometimes called a kennel, is individually mismanaged (part of the hasher lingo) with no uniting organizational hierarchy. There are more than 1,700 chapters spanning all seven continents.

Members describe themselves as a “drinking club with a running problem.” Hashers meet in various locations around the city to drink beer and run what can only be described as cross country through fields, streams, swamps, briar patches, streets, woods, and whatever other terrain they encounter. Before they run, they drink beer. During the run, they drink beer. After the run, they drink beer. In fact, beer plays a major role in why these intrepid souls brave the crazy running courses.

The origins of hashing harks to December 1938 in Kuala Lumpur, which was then the Federated Malay States and is now Malaysia, when a group of British colonial officers and expatriates began meeting on Monday evenings to run, in a fashion patterned after the traditional British Paper Chase or “Hare and Hounds,“ to rid themselves of the excesses of the previous weekend.

After meeting for several months, they were informed by the Registrar of Societies that as a “group,” they would require a constitution and an official name. The name “Hash House Harriers” was suggested, citing the Selangor Club Annex where the men were quartered. The club was known as the “Hash House” for its notoriously monotonous food.

The Hash House Harriers Constitution is recorded on a club registration card dated 1950.

Its objectives are: • To promote physical fitness among • our members, • To get rid of weekend hangovers, • To acquire a good thirst and to satisfy it • in beer, and • To persuade older members that they are • not as old as they feel.

Not all running clubs that incorporate beer in their activities are as wild as Hashers. The Jax Beach group Running For Brews is a collection of more than 300 runners – not all of them attend each event - who meet for a 5K run and then hang out and socialize over craft beer. At Dahlia’s Pour House in Riverside, runners meet on Wednesday nights, run 5K and enjoy discounted beer after.

“I started a running club at Dahlia’s,” said Dahlia’s owner Andrea Dahlia, “because I do enjoy running, but often too easily find excuses to not go running. I felt if I had a group that I enjoyed meeting up with and had the sense that they are relying on me to be there, I would at least be going jogging once a week. I feel others need a similar small push and hope the club is that push they need.”

For information about these running groups, check these websites: JACKSONVILLE HASHERS KENNEL: JaxH3.com RUNNING FOR BREWS: meetup.com/RunningforBrewsJaxBeach DAHLIA’S POUR HOUSE RUNNING CLUB: dahliaspourhouse.com/events Marc Wisdom marc@folioweekly.com

PINT-SIZED

, Whitey s in Fleming Island is an institution, a tradition and a multi-year winner of our Best Fish Camp category. photo by Dennis Ho

ORANGE PARK

DICK’S Wings & Grill, 6055 Youngerman Cir., 778-1101, dickswingsandgrill.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. NASCARthemed restaurant serves 365 varieties of wings, plus halfpound burgers, ribs, salads. $ FB K TO L D Daily The HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959, hilltop-club.com.

Southern style fine dining. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. Extensive bourbon selection. $$$ FB D Tu-Sa LARRY’S Giant Subs, 1330 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 165, 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 15, 272-3553. 5733 Roosevelt Blvd., 446-9500. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove, 284-7789, larryssubs.com.

F All over the area, Larry’s piles ’em high, serves ’em fast; 36-plus years. Hot & cold subs, soups. Some Larry’s serve breakfast. $ K TO B L D Daily METRO Diner, 2034 Kingsley Ave., 375-8548. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. The ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611, roadhouse online.net. Sandwiches, wings, burgers and quesadillas for 35-plus years. 75-plus imported beers. $ FB L D Daily The URBAN BEAN Coffeehouse Café, 2023 Park Ave., 541-4938, theurbanbeancoffeehouse.com. Locally-owned-&operated. Coffee, espresso, smoothies, teas. Omelets, bagels, paninis, flatbread, hummus, salads, desserts. $$ K TO B L D Daily

PONTE VEDRA BEACH

AL’S Pizza, 635 A1A, 543-1494. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner.

SEE BEACHES.

BEACH Diner, 880 A1A N., Ste. 2, 273-6545. SEE AMELIA. LARRY’S Subs, 830 A1A N., Ste. 6, 273-3993. F SEE O.PARK. METRO Diner, 340 Front St., Ste. 700, 513-8422. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE SAN MARCO.

TRASCA & CO. Eatery, 155 Tourside Dr., Ste. 1500, 395-3989, trascaandco.com. New eatery specializes in handcrafted Italian-inspired sandwiches, craft beers – many local choices – and craft coffees. $$ BW TO L R D Daily

RIVERSIDE, 5 PTS, WESTSIDE

13 GYPSIES, 887 Stockton St., 389-0330, 13gypsies.com.

2016 Best of Jax Winner. Authentic Mediterranean cuisine: chorizo, tapas, blackened cod, pork skewers, coconut mango curry chicken. Breads from scratch onsite. $$ BW L D Tu-Sa, R Sa AL’S Pizza, 1620 Margaret St., Ste. 201, 388-8384. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.

BLACK SHEEP, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, blacksheep5points. com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. New American, Southern; local source ingredients. Daily specials, rooftop bar. HH. $$$ FB R Sa & Su; L M-F; D Nightly BREW Five Points, 1024 Park St., 714-3402, brewfivepoints. com. F Local craft beers, espresso, coffees, wine. Rotating drafts, 75-plus can craft beers, tea. Waffles, toasts, desserts, coffees. $$ BW K B L Daily; late nite Tu-Sa BRIXX Wood Fired Pizza, 220 Riverside Ave., 300-3928, brixxpizza.com. New place offers pizzas, pastas, soups.

Gluten-free options. Daily specials, buy-one-get-one pizzas 10 p.m.-close. $$ FB K TO L D Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412, cornertaco.com.

Made-from-scratch “Mexclectic street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free, vegetarian options. $ BW L D Tu-Su CUMMER CAFÉ, Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummer.org. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Light lunch, quick bites, locally roasted coffee, espresso-based beverages, homemade soups, sandwiches, gourmet desserts, daily specials. Dine in or in gardens. $ BW K L D Tu; L W-Su DERBY on PARK, 1068 Park St., 379-3343, derbyonpark.net.

New American cuisine, upscale retro in historic building. Oak Street Toast, shrimp & grits, lobster bites, 10-oz. gourmet burger.

Dine inside or out. $$ FB TO Brunch Sa/Su; B, L D Tu-Su EUROPEAN STREET Café, 2753 Park St., 384-9999. 130+ import beers, 20 on tap. Sandwiches. Outside dining at some EStreets. $ BW K L D Daily

56 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 4, 2016

GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. F Juice bar uses certified organic fruits, veggies. Artisanal cheeses, 300 craft, import beers, 50 organic wines, produce, meats, vitamins, herbs, wraps, sides, sandwiches. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS ASIAN Street Fare, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Authentic dishes from mobile stalls: BBQ pork char sui, beef haw fun, Hawkers baos, chow faan, grilled Hawker skewers. $ BW TO L D Daily HOBNOB, 220 Riverside Ave., Ste. 110, 513-4272, hobnob withus.com. Unity Plaza. Global inspiration, local intention – ahi poke tuna, jumbo lump crab tacos. $$ FB TO R L D Daily IL DESCO, 2665 Park St., 290-6711, ildescojax.com. Authentic Italian cuisine, like wood-fired pizzas, pasta made daily onsite, baked Italian dishes, raw bar, spaghetti tacos. Daily HH. $$-$$$ FB K TO L D Daily JOHNNY’S Deli & Grille, 474 Riverside Ave., 356-8055. F Casual spot serves made-to-order sandwiches, wraps, breakfast. $ TO B L M-Sa KNEAD Bakeshop, 1173 Edgewood Ave. S., 634-7617. Locally owned, family-run shop specializing in made-from-scratch creations – classic pastries, artisan breads, savory pies, specialty sandwiches, soups. $ TO B L Tu-Su LARRY’S Subs, 1509 Margaret, 674-2794. 7895 Normandy, 781-7600. 8102 Blanding, 779-1933. F SEE ORANGE PARK. LITTLE JOE’S Café, 245 Riverside Ave., Ste. 195, 791-3336.

Riverview café. Soups, signature salad dressings. $ TO B L M-F METRO Diner, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., 999-4600. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE SAN MARCO.

MOON RIVER Pizza, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE AMELIA ISLAND.

M SHACK, 1012 Margaret St., 423-1283. SEE BEACHES. RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969. 2016 Best of Jax Winner.

Local-centric bar food: boiled peanuts, hummus, chili, cheese plate, pork sliders, nachos, herbivore items. $ D Nightly SOUTHERN ROOTS Filling Station, 1275 King St., 513-4726, southernrootsjax.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Healthy, fresh, light vegan fare; local, organic ingredients. Specials, on bread, local greens/rice, change daily. Sandwiches, coffees, teas. $ Tu-Su SUSHI Café, 2025 Riverside Ave., Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushi cafejax.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Monster, Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll. Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. Indoors or patio dining. $$ BW L D Daily

ST. AUGUSTINE

AL’S Pizza, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.

CRUISERS Grill, 3 St. George St., 824-6993. 2016 Best of Jax

Winner. SEE BEACHES.

DICK’S Wings & Grill, 4010 U.S. 1 S., 547-2669. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK.

The FLORIDIAN, 72 Spanish St., 829-0655, thefloridianstaug. com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Updated Southern fare; fresh, local ingredients sourced from area farms. Vegetarian, gluten-free option. Signature fried green tomato bruschetta, blackened fish cornbread stack; grits w/shrimp/fish/tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D W-M GYPSY CAB Company, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsy cab.com. F Local mainstay 33+ years. Varied urban cuisine menu changes twice daily. Signature dish: Gypsy chicken.

Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. $$ FB R Su; L D Daily MARDI GRAS Sports Bar, 123 San Marco Ave., 347-3288, mardibar.com. Wings, nachos, shrimp, chicken, Phillys, sliders, soft pretzels. $$ FB TO L D Daily MBQUE, 604 Anastasia Blvd., 484-7472. New Southern-style, fresh-casual. Handspun milkshakes, super kale salad. Housemade rubs, sauces. Platters, ribs, brisket, sweet/spicy pulled/ chopped pork, chicken, sausage. $$ BW K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040. F Bite Club. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.

O’LOUGHLIN Pub, 6975 A1A S., 429-9715. New family-ownedand-operated. Authentic fish & chips, shepherd’s pie, corned beef & cabbage, bangers & mash, duck wings. $$ FB K TO L D Daily

SALT LIFE Food Shack, 321 A1A Beach Blvd., 217-3256. SEE BEACHES. METRO Diner, 1000 S. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 758-3323. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Serving dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. SHANGHAI NOBBY’S, 10 Anastasia Blvd., 547-2188. Cubanstyle, Philly cheesesteak sandwiches. $$ FB

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

BEACH Diner, 1965 San Marco Blvd., 399-1306. SEE AMELIA. The BEARDED PIG Southern BBQ & Beer Garden, 1224 Kings Ave., 619-2247, thebeardedpigbbq.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Barbecue joint offers Southern style BBQ, like brisket, pork, chicken, sausage, beef; veggie platters. $$ BW K TO Daily BISTRO AIX, 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox.com. F Mediterranean/French inspired menu changes seasonally. 250+ wine list. Wood-fired oven baked, grilled specialties: pizza, pasta, risotto, steaks, seafood. Hand-crafted cocktails, specialty drinks.

Dine outside. HH M-F. $$$ FB L D Daily EUROPEAN Street Café, 1704 San Marco, 398-9500. SEE RIVERSIDE. FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusionsush ijax.com. F Upscale sushi spot serves fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu, seafood. $$ K L D Daily INDOCHINE, 1974 San Marco Blvd., 503-7013. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE DOWNTOWN.

KITCHEN on San Marco, 1402 San Marco Blvd., 396-2344, kitchenonsanmarco.com. Gastropub serves local, national craft beers, specialty cocktails. Seasonal menu, with fresh, locally sourced ingredients. $$ FB R Su; L D Daily METRO Diner, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metrodiner. com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Original upscale diner in a historic 1930s-era building. Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, soups.

This one serves dinner nightly. $$ B R L D Daily PIZZA PALACE Restaurant & Pizzeria, 1959 San Marco Blvd., 399-8815, pizzapalacejax.com. F Family-owned-&-operated; spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, ravioli, lasagna, parmigiana. Dine outside. HH. $$ BW K TO L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco Blvd., 398-3005, tavernasanmarco. com. Chef Sam Efron’s authentic Italian; tapas, wood-fired pizza.

Seasonal local produce, meats. Craft beer (some local), handcrafted cocktails, award-winning wine. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily V PIZZA, 1406 Hendricks Ave., 527-1511, vpizza.com. True Neapolitana pizzas with the freshest ingredients – a rare class of artisan pizza from Naples. $$ FB to L D Daily

SOUTHSIDE, TINSELTOWN

ALHAMBRA Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. USA’s longest-running, 50 years. Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus. Reservations. $$ FB D Tu-Su The CHATTY CRAB, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138C, 888-0639, chattycrab.com. Chef Dana Pollard’s raw oysters, Nawlins-style low country boil, po’ boys, 50¢ wing specials. $$ FB K TO L D Daily DICK’S Wings, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., 619-0954. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK.

EUROPEAN Street Café, 5500 Beach, 398-1717. SEE RIVERSIDE. GREEK Street Café, 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Ste. 106, 503-0620, greekstreetcafe.com. Fresh, authentic, modern; Greek owners. Gyros, spanakopita, dolmades, falafel, salads, nachos. Award-winning wines. $$ BW K TO L D M-Sa LARRY’S Subs, 3611 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F SEE ORANGE PARK. MARIANAS GRINDS, 11380 Beach Blvd., Ste. 10, 206-6126596. Pacific Islander fare, chamorro culture. Soups, stews, fitada, beef oxtail, katden pika; empanadas, lumpia, chicken relaguen, BBQ-style ribs, chicken. $$ TO B L D Tu-Su MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955. F Bite Club. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.

M SHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000. SEE BEACHES. OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr., 900-7730, ovinte.com.

Italy, Spain, Mediterranean flavor. Small plates, tapas, charcuterie: ceviche fresco, pappardelle bolognese, lobster ravioli. 240-bottle/ wines, 75/glass; craft spirits. $$ FB R, Su; D Nightly TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Ct., 854-0426, taverna yamas.com. F Bite Club. Charbroiled kabobs, seafood, desserts.

DINING DIRECTORY

Greek wines, daily HH. Bellydancing. $$ FB K TO L D Daily TOSSGREEN, 4375 Southside Blvd., Ste. 12, 619-4356. 4668 Town Crossing Dr., Ste. 105, 686-0234. Custom salads, burritos, burrito bowls; fruit, veggies, 100% natural chicken, sirloin, shrimp, tofu, cheese, dressing, salsa, frozen yogurt. $$ K TO L D Daily

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

ANDY’S Grill, 1810 W. Beaver St., 354-2821, jaxfarmersmark et.com. Jax Farmers Market. Local, regional, international produce.

Breakfast, sandwiches, snacks, beverages. $ B L D Mon.-Sat.

TAPAS

BARZ Liquors & Fish Camp, 9560 Heckscher Dr., 251-3330.

Authentic fish camp, biker-friendly, American-owned. Package store. $ FB L D Daily DICK’S Wings, 12400 Yellow Bluff Rd., 619-9828. 450077 S.R. 200, 879-0993. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. HOLA Mexican Restaurant, 1001 N. Main St., 356-3100, holamexicanrestaurant.com. F Authentic fresh fajitas, burritos, specials, enchiladas, more. HH; sangria. BW K TO L D M-Sa LARRY’S Subs, 12001 Lem Turner Rd., 764-9999. SEE O. PARK. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 15170 Max Leggett Pkwy., 757-8843.

F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.

OVERSET

CHEFFED-UP

TAILGATE

Class up the PARKING LOT with haute cuisine

CHEFFED-UP

WE IN THE GREAT U.S. OF A. DO NOT HOLD a monopoly on crazy sports fans. It’s absolutely undeniable that millions of diehards tailgate in other countries as well.

Sure, old-fashioned pickup trucks aren’t real popular with Europeans, but they can set up a little table behind their toy-sized cars and call it a tailgate party. Have you ever considered tailgate parties before the running of the bulls in Pamplona? They must be epic! The motivation needed to get in front of a bunch of stampeding bulls must come from something more exciting than sangria alone.

As a food-obsessed chef, I’d like to think that the little extra something comes from food. Spanish, Portuguese and Basque cuisines are some of my favorites at the moment and they lend themselves quite well to sporting events.

Who said you have to limit yourself to classic tailgate fare? Why not Chef Up your tailgating with some out-of-the-ordinary fare? Remember, tailgate food shouldn’t be as predictable as the outcome of a Jags game.

Imagine transforming your little piece of the parking lot into a Tapas Bar! Way cool and totally appropriate. The flavor profiles and ingredients for traditional tapas are actually quite similar to what we expect from tailgate food here in the 904.

The logistics are no different than those of a standard tailgate: have some made-ahead tidbits, slow-cooked victuals simmering away and make other goodies à la minute.

Imagine, if you will, making a classic Spanish tortilla with roasted peppers and chorizo the day before. How about using Mayport shrimp for Gambas al Ajillo? Just have a cast-iron pan hot on your grill and you can do small batches as needed. As long as you have that hot olive oil and garlic going, pan-fry some (par-cooked) potatoes for patatas bravas and have a nice roasted garlic aioli for dipping.

For a slow-cooked item, try a Portuguese pork-and-clam stew: Think surf-and-turf

meets chili. Awesome! You can offer a bunch of finger foods, like Spanish chorizo braised in Rioja wine, or little toasted baguette medallions with Serrano, olives and oranges nestled on top. Smoked almonds make for scrumptious grazing along with a bowl of marinated olives. I could go on and on but I’m outta space.

Try this roasted garlic aioli to get you started and don’t forget the sangria. Just add a generous dose of locally distilled booze for a little extra motivation.

CHEF BILL’S ROASTED GARLIC AIOLI

Ingredients • 1 egg yolk • 1 lemon, zested and juiced • 1-1/2 tbsp. roasted garlic • 1 tsp. rice wine vinegar • 1 tsp. Dijon • 4 oz. blended oil • 2 oz. roasted garlic oil • Salt and pepper to taste Directions 1. Place the egg yolk, lemon juice and 1. zest, roasted garlic, Dijon, rice 1. vinegar, and a pinch of salt and pepper 1. in a small bain-marie. Begin to blend 1. with the emersion blender.

2. With the blender running, slowly 1. emulsify in the blended oil. If the mix 1. gets too thick, thin with a little warm 1. water. Continue to blend in both of 1. the oils.

3. Taste and adjust the seasonings.

Until we cook again,

Chef Bill cheffedup@folioweekly.com ____________________________________ Contact Chef Bill Thompson, owner of Amelia Island Culinary Academy in Historic Fernandina Beach, with your recipes or questions at cheffedup@folioweekly.com, for inspiration to get you Cheffed Up! SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 4, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 57

PETS LOOKIN’ FOR LOVE FOLIO

W E E K LY

FOLIO LIVING

PET

DEAR DAVI

LOVERS’

GUIDE

The dealio on dog park RULES & REGS

DOGS BEHAVING

BADLY W

ith so many dog parks popping up around Northeast Florida and Southeast Georgia, my inbox is blowing up with questions about the rules.

Here’s some points to remember as you romp around the local off-leash hangout:

Vaccinations? Who needs ’em?

YOU need ’em. Vaccinations are your best protection against contagious diseases and sickness. Dog parks are crawling with viruses and parasites, so before you set paw on the grass, make sure all your shots are up-to-date.

Can I drop by the dog park when I’m in heat?

Absolutely NOT! Dogs in heat are a disaster in groups. The mere presence of a hot-totrot houndette can send a usually wellmannered male dog into a frenzy, which can lead to aggression, and if you don’t think a girl dog can get knocked up at a dog park, think again.

Can I bring treats?

Packing treats and playing with toys near other dogs can rile up the masses. If your human isn’t ready to referee a fight, leave the treats and toys at home.

The other dogs call me a Dog Dork. Am I OK to play?

It’s really this simple: Not all dogs are cut out for dog park play, and that’s OK. Some are socially clueless, incapable of playing nice. Others may play too aggressively, crashing into each other like canine bumper cars. If your playmates are avoiding play or ignoring your cues, you may want tweak your social skills before returning to the park.

Should my human be texting while I’m zooming around the park?

I see it all the time. Humans hunched over phones while their dogs run amok, stealing toys and breaking rules. People need to be alert — not distracted. Being a watchful pet parent means paying attention to your dog, not staring at your phone. Don’t leave your pet unsupervised, wanting to play. Put down the device and get in on the action.

I took a dump and my human looked the other way. Should I worry?

The dog park is NOT a public pet toilet — it’s a play place. Leaving a stinky mess isn’t just unsightly, it’s unsanitary. If you see a pile, pick it up — that’s common sense and common courtesy. Humans need to bring enough bags and be ready to scoop, bag and dispose. Keeping the park clean, safe and tidy is everyone’s responsibility.

Why can’t 50-pound Fideaux join me on the small side?

Take it from a small dog with a big bark — I’ve been trampled by my more sizable brethren. Big dogs don’t always watch where they’re stepping — nor do we lil ones, but larger dogs can injure or frighten us sizechallenged pets. Plus, our squeaking barks and quick movements may switch on the prey drive in larger dogs — yikes! Small dogs may challenge a big dog, as if to say, “Hey, bro, I might be fun-size, but I’m not bite-size.”

Keep these facts in mind as you enjoy the great outdoors this fall!

Davi mail@folioweekly.com ____________________________________ Davi the dachshund may have been a hall monitor in a former life.

PET TIP: A COLONY OF COMPANIONS SO YOU’RE NOT READY FOR THE responsibility of a dog, cat, lizard, bird, fish or any other noisy, smelly creature that requires regular feeding and – cha-ching – veterinarian visits.

Why not try ants? Really, ants. They’re low-maintenance, quiet and will eat practically anything. Plus their lifespans are about three months, so if you decide that you’re just not that into ants, well, that problem solves itself in 90 days.

58 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 4, 2016

PET EVENTS MEGA PET ADOPTION • First Coast No More Homeless Pets, Jacksonville Animal Care and Protective Services and Jacksonville Humane Society offer more than 1,000 pets from 10 a.m.-6 p.m.

Sept. 30 at Jacksonville Fairgrounds, 510 Fairground Place, Downtown. The $20 fee includes spay/neuter, microchip, vaccines and city license, fcnmhp.org.

PET FAIR, BLESSING OF THE PETS • St. Francis Animal Hospital and St. Philip Neri Animal Ministry hold the fourth annual pet-centric event 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Oct. 1 at Fletcher Park, 1652 Atlantic Blvd.,

ADOPTABLES

.

JOKER

THE COMEDIAN • Knock, knock. Who’s there?

Dozen. Dozen who? Dozen anyone want to take me home? My name is Joker and I’m a silly guy!

I love playing tug-o-war and running around outside. I also love all the Batman movies and want to watch those over and over with you every day.

Won’t you come to Jacksonville Humane Society and see how funny I am? They’re open seven days a week! Find a forever friend at jaxhumane.org.

San Marco. Demos, costume contest, dog wash, $15 microchipping, silent auction and more are featured. Proceeds benefit the hospital and ministry. 674-7223, saintfrancisanimalhospital.org.

KATZ 4 KEEPS ADOPTION DAYS • Planned adoption days through December are held 11 a.m.-3 p.m.

Saturdays and Sundays, Oct. 8 and 9, Oct. 22 and 23, Nov. 5 and 6, Nov. 19 and 20, Dec. 3 and 4 and Dec. 17 and 18, at Katz 4 Keeps, 935B A1A N., Ponte Vedra, 834-3223, katz4keeps.org. Katz 4 Keeps is looking for adults (18 or older) to become members of the Clean & Feed Program. For more information, contact Peggy Hatfield, program coordinator, at peggyhatfield63@comcast.net.

ADOPTABLES

VIVIAN

NETFLIX AND CHILL • Hi, there! I like to think of myself as the queen of Netflix and I’m just looking for my Netflix king! I love to binge-watch shows for days on end. I’m looking for someone to do this with me for the rest of time. Come down to 8464 Beach Blvd. to meet me! If you love Netflix as much as I do, we’ll be a purrfect match.

FREE SPAY & NEUTER SURGERIES • St. Augustine Humane Society offers free spay and neuter surgeries for dogs in September, through a $25,000 grant from Florida Animal Friend Inc. To qualify for the reduced fee or potentially free services, owners must meet specific income guidelines. The program is open to all cats regardless of owner’s financial circumstances. Details, criteria at staughumane.org.

Applications must be in person at 1665 Moultrie Rd., St. Augustine. Spay/neuter/surgery clinic 8 a.m.-4 p.m. every Tuesday; wellness clinic 9 a.m.-4 p.m. every Wednesday and Thursday.

VACCINATION CLINICS • VetCo offers lower-cost vaccinations at area PetCo stores. Scheduled for Sunday, Oct. 2: 2-3 p.m., 11900 Atlantic Blvd., 997-8441; 4-5 p.m., 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy., 273-0964; 10:30 a.m.-noon, 463713 S.R 200, Yulee, 225-0014, vetcoclinics.com. _______________________________________ To list a pet event, send event name, time, date, location (complete street address and city), admission folioweekly.com – at least two weeks before the event.

SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 4, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 59

FREEWILL ASTROLOGY

DALE RATERMANN’s Crossword presented by

PESKY DEMONS, PLANS A & B, EMILY DICKINSON & STRANGE ANGELS

Serving Excellence Since 1928 Member American Gem Society

San Marco

Ponte Vedra

The Shoppes of Ponte Vedra

Avondale

2044 San Marco Blvd.

3617 St. Johns Ave.

398-9741

330 A1A North

280-1202

388-5406

ARIES (March 21-April 19): What’s the difference between a love warrior and a love worrier? Love warriors work diligently to keep enhancing their empathy, compassion and emotional intelligence. Love worriers fret so much about not getting the love they want, they neglect to develop intimacy skills. Love warriors are always vigilant for how their own ignorance may be sabotaging togetherness, while love worriers dwell on how their partner’s ignorance is sabotaging togetherness. Love warriors stay focused on the relationship’s highest goals, while love worriers are preoccupied with every little relationship glitch. The next seven weeks will be a great time to be less of a love worrier and more of a love warrior.

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Ship pole Follow, as advice Order in the court Top-of-the-line Monte Carlo roulette bets New Year’s Eve word JSO instrument Harm Salon stock LxW UF ceramics deg.

Shuffleboard stick Last words Flat sound Rather informal?

Augustine, for one They’re all related Plays God Veg Fest mo.

Pique Fiddles with Raise one’s spirits, perhaps Dundee dude Down-to-earth visitors Late Bit of a joule

49 Mrs. Gorbachev 51 Plumber’s supply 52 “Ta-ta!”

54 Display TLC 56 Handy way of talking (abbr.)

58 Author Anais 59 Nothing doing 63 Doe boy 66 Not fair 68 Barely managed 69 Gaze at Dolphin cheerleaders 70 worse than death 71 Hang-up 72 Fellers in the woods 73 Kind of nerve 74 Hunt and peck

9 One of 60 billion in a min.

10 Weekly earnings 11 Really regret 12 Home sick 13 Football stats 23 GIs 25 North Carolina cape 26 Not very bright 28 Winter Olympics event 29 “Yes , Bob!” 30 Vile smiles 31 Fish cover 32 Truth (party game) 33 Evaluate again 35 What a chemist brings to the table

DOWN 1 Quite a tale 2 Below C level 3 First Coast News reporter Schindler 4 St. Johns River races 5 Tokyo toons 6 Own up 7 Mexico’s westernmost city 8 Ex-Gator lineman Leon

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TAURUS (April 20-May 20): How will you deal with a provocative opportunity to reinvent and reinvigorate your approach to work? My guess? If you ignore this challenge, it’ll devolve into an obstruction. If you embrace it, on the other hand, you’ll be led to unforeseen improvements in the way you earn money and structure your daily routine. Here’s the paradox: Being open to seemingly impractical considerations will ultimately turn out to be quite practical.

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61 Act of faith?

62 Do lawn work 63 Dolphins basketball stats 64 Tower’s letters 65 Internet start-up 67 Bortles org.

Solution to 9.21.16 Puzzle I M A C B A T H M I L E A T R I P R U N U S H E S T E V T I R E S C E N J O S H

O N T O

60 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 4, 2016

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GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Is it possible you’re on the verge of reclaiming some of the innocent wisdom you had as a child?

Judging from current astrological omens, it may be. If all goes well, you’ll soon be gifted with a long glimpse of your true destiny, a close replica of the vision that bloomed in you at a tender age. This will let you see magic unicorns, play with mischievous fairies and eat clouds that dip close to the earth. And having a holy vision of your original self will make you even smarter. You could get insight on how to express once inexpressible parts of you. You may discover secrets about how to attract more of the love you felt you didn’t get.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): I want to know where you feel safe, strong and bold.

Are there sanctuaries that nurture your audacious wisdom? Are there natural sites that bring out your primal willpower and help you clarify goals?

Go to those power spots. Allow them to exalt you with their transformative blessings. Pray, sing and dance there. And maybe find a new oasis to excite and incite you, as well. Your creative savvy will bloom in November if you nurture yourself now with this magic.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): One of your old reliable formulas may for a while be useless or even deceptive. An ally could be withholding an important detail. Your favorite psychological crutch is in disrepair, and your go-to excuse is no longer viable. And yet you’re going to be just fine. Plan B will probably work better than Plan A. Secondary sources and substitutes should provide all the leverage you need. I bet you’ll finally capitalize on an advantage you’ve been neglecting. For best results, be vigilant for unexpected help.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Attention!

Warning! One of your signature fears is losing its chokehold on your imagination. If this continues, its power to scare you may diminish more than 70 percent by Nov. 1. Then what will you do? How can you continue to plug away at goals if you don’t have worry, angst and dread to motivate? You could shop around for a replacement fear, a new prod to keep you on a true and righteous path. Consider an alternative: the possibility of drawing more of the energy you need by feeding your lust for life.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Thank you for all the entertainment you’ve provided in the past 12 months. Since shortly

before your birthday in 2015, you’ve taken lively, gallant actions to rewrite history. You’ve banished a pesky demon and repaired a hole in your soul.

You’ve educated the most immature part of you and nurtured your most neglected part. To my joyful shock, you’ve even worked to transform a dysfunctional romantic habit that earlier had subtly undermined your ability to get the intimacy you seek. What’s next? My guess: an unprecedented exemption from past demands.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Are you able to expand while contracting, and vice versa?

Can you shed mediocre comforts and open your imagination to gifts that await at the frontier?

Is it possible to be skeptical toward ideas that shrink your world and people who waste your time, even as you cultivate optimism and innocence about interesting challenges ahead? Here’s what I think: Yes, you can. At least right now, you’re more flexible and multifaceted than you may think.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You Sagittarians are famous for filling your cups so full they’re in danger of spilling over. Sometimes the rest of us find this kinda cute. On other occasions, we don’t enjoy getting wine splashed on our shoes. In the coming weeks, consequences of your tendency to overflow will be mostly benign, maybe even downright beneficial.

Experiment with the pleasures of surging and gushing. Have fun as you escape niches and transcend containers. Give yourself permission to seek adventures that may be too extravagant for polite company. A helpful reminder from fellow Sagittarian, poet Emily Dickinson: “You cannot fold a flood and put it in a drawer.”

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I believe in the weeks ahead, you’ll have an extra amount of freedom from fate. The daily grind won’t grind you down. The influences that typically tend to sap your joie de vivre will leave you in peace. Are you ready to take full advantage of this special dispensation? Say YES YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES. Be alert for opportunities to rise above the lowest common denominators. Be aggressive about rejecting trivial questions that trap us in low expectations. My predictions: Your willpower will consistently trump your conditioning. You won’t have to play by old rules; instead, you have extra sovereignty to invent the future.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): According to my astrological omen-analysis, you can expect an unlikely coincidence or two in the days ahead. Be alert for helpfully prophetic dreams, clear telepathic messages and pokes from tricky informers. Useful hints and clues will be swirling in extra abundance, sometimes in the form of direct communications from reliable sources, but on occasion as mysterious signals from strange angels.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You know that inner work you’ve been doing with such diligence? Those psycho-spiritual transformations you’ve been attending to in the dark … the challenging but oddly gratifying negotiations you’ve been carrying on with your secret self … the steady, strong future you’ve been struggling to forge out of chaos? I foresee you making a big breakthrough in the next few weeks. The progress you’ve been earning, which up until now has been mostly invisible to others, is finally seen and appreciated. The vows you uttered long ago will, at last, yield some tangible results you’ve pined for.

Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

NEWS OF THE WEIRD INSANITY DEFINED

Police and prosecutors in Dallas, appropriately sensitive at their city having been the site of the 1963 killing of President John F. Kennedy, have apparently taken out their shame on assassination buff Robert Groden. As the Dallas Observer reported in September, Groden has been ticketed by police dozens of times for operating book sales booths near the “grassy knoll” (site of the alleged “second shooter”), and yet he prevails in court every time (82 and counting).

WHY CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?

Stephen Mader, 25, native of Weirton, West Virginia, and former Weirton police officer, is fighting to get his job back after being fired for not being quick enough on the trigger. When Ronald Williams Jr., in May, made a ham-handed attempt at “suicide by cop,” it was Mader who, rather than shooting, tried to talk Williams down (based on his Marine Corps and police academy training), but when Williams pointed his unloaded gun at two of Mader’s colleagues, and one of them quickly shot the man to death, police officials fired Mader for having been insufficiently aggressive.

WHY CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG? PT II

Few U.S. forces in Afghanistan speak the native Pashto or Dari, and the war prospects would be dim were it not for courageous Afghan civilians who aid the U.S. as interpreters under promise of protection and future emigration to the U.S. However, the congressional battle over immigration policy has delayed entry for about 10,000 interpreters, who (along with their families) face imminent death if they remain in Afghanistan. Some in Congress also regard Afghans as riskier immigrants (despite the interpreters’ demonstrated loyalty).

WHEELS GO ROUND & ROUND

Dave Little, 27, vacationing on the Mediterranean island of Ibiza, Spain — and partying hard, apparently — was at press time still haggling with eBay, trying to get out of his “successful” auction bid (blamed on a fingering misadventure on his phone) of 28,500 British pounds (about $37,000) for a Scania Irizar Century bus. eBay, of course, warns that bids are legally binding. Little

believes that his dad had earlier searched bus information on the phone and that alcohol then affected his own navigation between screens.

Folio Weekly Magazine can help you connect with that surfer hunk you almost talked to at the Young Vegan Professionals meet-up, or that gum-crackin’ goddess at Target who “accidentally” dropped a jasmine-scented kazoo in your cart. Go to folioweekly.com/i-saw-u.html, fill out the FREE form correctly (40 words or fewer, dammit) by 5 p.m. Friday (for the next Wednesday’s FWM) – next stop: Bliss!

SO, LIKE, MILEY CYRUS CHO?

News Corporation Australia reported in September the success of a 16-year-old British entrepreneur, Ms. Beau Jessup, who has so far earned about $84,000 with a simple online app to help rich Chinese parents select prosperoussounding English names for their babies.

Users choose among 12 personality traits they hope their baby to have, then receive three suggestions (including a list of famous people with those names). Jessup got the idea when living in China and noticing that some babies of the rich were given lame names, such as “Gandalf ” and “Cinderella.”

CHINESE MANAGEMENT METHODS

About 200 employees at a travel service in Shandong Province were fined $6.50 each recently for failing to comply with orders to “comment” on the general manager’s daily posts to the Twitter-like Internet site Sina Weibo. In June, a motivational trainer working with employees of the Changzhi Zhangze Rural Commercial Bank reportedly told the poor-performing bank personnel (among the 200 at the session) to “prepare to be beaten.” He then walked among the workers, whacking some with a stick, shaving the heads of men and cutting the hair of women.

HOW THEY DO IT IN TEXAS

A water line in Hood County, Texas, broke in August, 5 feet below ground on Andrea Adams’s property, but Acton Municipal District worker Jimmie Cox, 23, came to the rescue — which involved Cox briefly submerging himself in the mud, face down to his waist, to clamp the line. He said later, “In this line of work, [we] do it a lot.” (photo: http://bit.ly/2bPCt0s) On Sept. 9, a man (who said later he somehow couldn’t stop his car) drove off of a nine-story downtown parking garage in Austin. The SUV hung upside down, caught only by the garage guide wire that wrapped around one wheel, until passersby pulled him to safety. (photo: http://bit.ly/2bYnTCc) Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net

No left or right swipe here – you can actually use REAL WORDS to find REAL LOVE!

Start with a nifty five-word headline, something they’ll see and recognize you, or them, or the place. Then describe the person, like, “You: Blonde, hot, skanky, tall.” Then you, like, “Me: Redhead, boring, clean, virgin.” Then some words about the encounter, like, “ISU at MOSH, drawing dinosaurs.” End with a clever flirt, like, “I got your T-Rex right here!” The catch? No names, email addresses, websites, etc. And for chrissake keep it at forty (40) words or fewer or the senior editor will cut your words down to size. Don’t make her do you like that.

MY BUD LIGHT/MARLBORO MAN You: Handsome man working the grill, drinking Bud Light and cooking some good-looking meat on Saturday. Me: Drinking Captain and Coke and fighting the desire to take advantage of you. Hoping you “grill” again soon! When: Aug. 27. Where: Downtown. #1627-0928 NEED HELP MOVING? First time ISU, you were moving from your apartment; we caught eyes. Met again, exchanged names. I wanted your number but it’s been so long since someone made me speechless. Come by sometime? You: Pretty. Me: Intrigued. When: Sept.

14. Where: Off JTB. #1626-0921 FIRST WATCH EARTHQUAKE You: Stunningly beautiful lady, long brown hair, shorts, athletic top, waiting for second party on Sunday morning. Me: Tall, dark, handsome guy, kinda cop-looking. Tried to buy your breakfast; you hadn’t ordered. Really wanted to say hello. When: Aug. 28. Where: First Watch Beach Boulevard. #1625-0907 DANCING TO THE BONES You are L. from Ponte Vedra. I’m R, leading band at Conch House on Friday, Aug. 12. We said quick hello as you left. Really want to connect with you.

Hopefully cosmos will agree. When: Aug. 12. Where: Conch House, St. Augustine. #1624-0817 FLOWERS IN MY HAND Very surprised to see you. Positive memories flooded back, so let’s have lunch and catch up. S. When: July 6. Where: Publix Pharmacy. #1623-0810 DO YOU SEEK UNIQUE? You: Beautiful brunette, Walmart sugar aisle, beautiful arm ink work; said you got it in Riverside.

Me: Dark chocolate gentleman, captivated by smile, breathless looking into beautiful eyes. Too shy to get number. Meet for lunch? When: July 16. Where: Walmart Avenues. #1622-0720 HANDSOME, KIND GENTLEMAN ISU Saturday 1 a.m. You: Extremely handsome, cool hat, T-shirt, jeans; forgot wallet; complimented my white dress. Me: Long blond hair, green eyes, too shy to ask name or if unattached. Love to meet formally! When: July 17. Where: Walmart San Jose. #1621-0720 WE ARE READY FOR U You: Handsome man following, watching me, saying hi, calling, hanging up before u speak. Me: Want to hear your heart. My dog and condo await. Don’t be afraid. Everything will be OK. We love you. When: 2012. Where: Neighborhood. #1620-0720 AVONDALE ANGEL Me: Down on my luck, no place to go. You: Beautiful person who kept me from sleeping on the street. Thank you for your generosity for someone you didn’t even know!

You’ll never ever be forgotten! When: June 16.

Where: Avondale shops. #1619-0706 COOPER’S HAWK NICE SMILE WAITER You weren’t our waiter last Thursday 6/16; served us before. Name starts with G. Cute, dark blond hair, warm personality. Me: Brunette, curly hair,

navy blue dress. You noticed us in booth. A drink, conversation? Contact. When: June 16. Where: Cooper’s Hawk Winery Town Center. #1618-0622 CORGI GIRL Your smile’s radiant. How you synchronize those long legs in immense contrast with your pups is marvelous. I’m grateful, mostly handsome, longing to please. Love to join you and poochie for evening stroll along the river. XOXO. When: June 10. Where: Riverside. #1617-0622 COMEDY ZONE Goldberg lookalike, Comedy Zone May 27, admiring each other while waiting with friends. Me: Hot brunette in black tank top and jeans.

When: May 27. Where: Comedy Zone. #1608-0525 TRADE PORSCHE FOR BEACH CRUISER? Drawn to your physique, adored biceps as you chilled with friend! You complimented my Porsche. Offered trade for your cruiser. Didn’t ask for number. WOD together on next bring-a-friend day?! When: 4 p.m. June 5. Where: Zeta Brewing bicycle stand. #1616-0622 VYSTAR LOAN OFFICER You: Beautiful blue-eyed, curly blond hair, rockin’ all black outfit, accent colored shirt. Me: Trying to get a loan. Made conversation to keep process going. Second Wednesday in June. Didn’t get loan; might’ve found so much more! When: June 8. Where: Vystar. #1615-0622 YOU’RE IN MY THOUGHTS There’s still not a day I don’t think of you. Since the first time ISU while sitting in that car, I can’t shake thoughts of you.

Live long. Love hard. I will. When: Feb. 2, 2016.

Where: Neighborhood. #1614-0622 JOIN YOUR SWIM TEAM Me: Attractive in two-piece bathing suit. You: Swimming; American flag tat on arm, making me hot as you chilled in the pool.

Really want to skinny dip with you. ;) When: June 3.

Where: Greentree Place Apts. Pool. #1613-0622 FRIDAY BIKE-TO-WORK DAY You: Blue jeans, black tank top, red Motobecane bicycle, great smile.

Didn’t get a chance to get your name. Me: Doing the bike thing. Are you up for a ride? When: May 20.

Where: Hemming Plaza. #1612-0608 HANDSOME EDUCATED HARLEY RIDER We instantly hit it off talking. I tried to quickly give you my number. I was on a blind date that was NOT meant to be. I’d like to have a chance to continue our conversation. When: May 22. Where: River City Brewing Co. #1611-0608 DANCIN’ IN THE STREETS CUTIE You: Short, big white hat, gorgeous eyes, with friend outside bookstore. Me: Sunglasses, tan, wanted to flirt. We locked eyes. I got brave, you were gone – kicking myself since. Won’t hesitate again. Share a dance?

When: May 21. Where: Atlantic Beach Dancin’ Festival. #1610-0525 BIRDIES BLUE-EYED BRUNETTE Beautiful day. You: Porch sitting with friends. Me: Walking dog down strip. We caught eyes. Couldn’t tell if you knew me or wanted to; we couldn’t look away. Hope next time it’s more than an awkward stare. When: May 15. Where: Birdies. #1609-0525

SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 4, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 61

CLASSIFIEDS

YOUR PORTAL TO REACHING 95,000+ READERS WEEKLY HELP WANTED

AKEL’S DELI NOW HIRING CASHIER POSITION AND PREP COOK. Located downtown in Bank of America tower at 50 North Laura Street, Jacksonville FL 32202. Please call 904-446-3119 or email akelsdeli@comcast.net FOLIO MEDIA HOUSE WANTS YOU! Immediate Opening! Folio Media House, established in 1987, is expanding our reach in Northeast Florida with comprehensive media products. We are seeking an experienced salesperson to add to our current team.

Significant commission potential and mentorship with an industry leader. Main Job Tasks and Responsibilities: make sales calls to new and existing clients, generate and qualify leads, prepare sales action plans and strategies. Experience: experience in sales required, proven ability to achieve sales targets, knowledge of Salesforce software a plus. Key Competencies: money driven, persuasive, planning and strategizing.

If you have a track record of success in sales, send your cover letter and resume for consideration to staylor@folioweekly.com or call Sam at 904-860-2465.

PAID IN ADVANCE! Make $1,000 A Week mailing brochures from home! No experience required. Helping homeworkers since 2001! Genuine opportunity. Start immediately! WorkingCentral.Net. (AANCAN)(9/28/16) Jade Software Corporation USA is seeking a Terminal Operations Manager in Jacksonville, Florida to Manage imports/exports transportation and logistics systems. Requires 20 years of experience within the Terminal / Port industry as a Business Operations Analyst, Logistics Consultant, Import Operations Specialist, Vessel Operations and Ship Planning using Terminal Operations Software, Customs clearance software, and termianl reports and training teams of operators and terminal operations. Please submit resume to hr@jadeworld.com ADVERTISING SPECIALIST USADWEB. 1498 Reisterstown Rd. #330, Baltimore, MD 21208 410-580-5414 • service@usadweb.com www.usadweb.com • A referral is the best compliment … please don’t keep our services a secret!

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62 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 4, 2016

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Living expenses, housing, medical, and continued support afterwards. Choose adoptive family of your choice. Call 24/7. 877-362-2401 (AAN CAN)(11/2/16)

photo: Walter Coker/Matanzas Riverkeeper

FOLIO VOICES : BACKPAGE EDITORIAL

“The nightmare started around mid-May when the clearing of the land began … In June, the burning of stumps and other debris began.

The thick smoke took our breath away.”

THERE IS A DEVELOPMENT GOING UP DIRECTLY behind my house called Lakewood Pointe PUD on S.R. 206 in St. Johns County. In October 2015, commissioners unanimously approved to change the zoning classification from 34 to 78 homes on these 40 acres, even though there were many opposing the change at the meeting and 120 neighbors signed a petition against it, including South Anastasia Communities Association, Matanzas Riverkeeper and Friends of the Matanzas. The Lakewood Pointe PUD homeowners will be so close together that they will practically be able to shake hands from their rooftops! This PUD is not only inconsistent with the density of existing developments along S.R. 206, it also disregards the land use element of the 2025 Comprehensive Plan.

The nightmare started around mid-May when the clearing of the land began. Sand pines were ripped out of the ground, then dropped in piles, shaking the earth. Th e land was totally clear-cut!

In June, the burning of stumps and other debris began. The thick smoke took our breath away. Even when a fire curtain was used, which is supposed to control the impact of the smoke on the surrounding environment and neighbors, we still suffered from smoke inhalation. We couldn’t tend to our garden or take our dogs to play in our backyard. On June 13, we noticed embers, soot, and fine sand in our back and front yards, driveway, inside and outside of our cars, on our outbuilding, shed, privacy fence and even on the HVAC unit. We immediately called the Florida Forest Service and they sent representative Kevin Micieli from their Bunnell office to witness what we had reported to them.

Unfortunately, according to Micieli, the law allows the developer to burn 12 hours a day, seven days a week, including holidays. Not even Memorial Day was considered special to the developer, Bob Hahnemann. All Micieli was able to do that day was stop the burning when the wind blew toward our neighborhood. But the burning saga continued.

Unable to take it anymore, on June 27, we called the Florida Forest Service again and they sent out wildfire mitigation specialist Julie Allen to see what she could do to address our complaints. She told us the developer would

THE NEIGHBORS

FROM HELL

be burning only another two weeks — as if this would be any consolation to us. She said it was very important to the forest service to keep homeowners safe; Allen mentioned that today, homes built near forests must be built of fire-resistant material, unlike our home which would go up in flames in a flash, she said, snapping her fingers. Meanwhile, embers were everywhere, even right across the street!

Next came the diesel pump that ran 24 hours a day, seven days a week, releasing toxic particulates that hung in the humid, oppressively hot June and July air. Our heads ached, we were light-headed, our eyes and throats irritated.

Particulate matter (PM) or particulates are microscopic solid or liquid matter suspended in the Earth’s atmosphere. The World Health Organization designates outdoor air pollution and the particulate in it as a Group 1 carcinogen.

Particulates are capable of penetrating deep into the lungs and bloodstream, potentially causing permanent DNA mutations, heart attacks, and premature deaths.

This diesel pump was approved by St. Johns River Water Management District; according to professional engineer Jessica Strate Beach, it was used to draw down the pond to enable installation of stormwater infrastructure pipes.

This diesel motor pumped so hard behind our houses that one of our neighbors had to take the pictures off her walls. They called the St. Johns County Sheriff ’s Office and a deputy came out to investigate. Even he couldn’t believe the disturbance it was causing to the neighborhood. Almost every day during the burning and diesel pumping, we called and emailed St. Johns County commissioners and staff, the Water Management District, Florida Forest Service, State Representative Paul Renner, and Congressman Ron Desantis’ office for help because we were suffocating in our own homes. But no one seemed to care.

Then came the dump trucks of fill dirt.

As they emptied the trucks and drove back and forth on the property, black dust covered everything inside and outside our home, even penetrating our no-see-um screened porch!

According to Suzanne Konchan, growth management director with St. Johns County, the workers were supposed to be using water

trucks to keep the dust down. The trucks were not used until we kept complaining to the county. But even with additional trucks, the dust kept flying our way.

Also, we believe there will be drainage and increased flooding concerns from this development even though the Water Management District ensures that we will not flood because of the berms and drain pipes that will be installed at Lakewood Pointe.

We are nevertheless concerned because a drainage swale behind the homes along Sea Place Avenue has never drained properly according to original homeowners. It’s just been a breeding ground for mosquitoes and water moccasins. Water Management claims the local government should have addressed the drainage issue. The county knew about this drainage problem years ago because a homeowner who filled the drainage swale was ordered to remove the fill dirt. This serious issue should have been solved before this development was approved because access to the swale will now be more difficult.

The existing homeowners on Sea Place Avenue adjacent to Lakewood Pointe PUD very seldom get a break from the noise and no one ever considered our property rights or quality of life of homeowners directly affected by this development. In our opinion, a letter from the developer and/ or county official should have notified us in advance of what was going to take place on this property. There was no good neighbor communication from the developer and no word from the county on the negative impact this would have on the neighborhood.

No human or non-human animal should have to live through the toxic particulates, filth and fear of a house going up in flames.

It has turned our lives upside-down and there’s more to come as the development process continues.

We need laws changed to protect existing homeowners and the environment from this development process or this “living hell” will continue to devastate families and neighborhoods across Florida!

Julie Parker mail@folioweekly.com _____________________________________ Parker is a longtime resident of St. Johns County.

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