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Life in Hi-Fi
2 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 28-NOVEMBER 3, 2015
THIS WEEK // 10.28-11.03.15 // VOL. 29 ISSUE 31 COVER STORY
[11]
NORTHEAST FLORIDA’S
SCARIEST PEOPLE
Four masks, PLUS EVERYTHING YOU NEED to ensure you’re the only one not invited to your apartment complex’s Halloween party next year!. BY MATTHEW B. SHAW ORIGINAL ILLUSTRATIONS BY VIRGINIA MILLS
FEATURED ARTICLES
¿LOS EMPTY POLLS?
[8]
BY JOSUE CRUZ Duval County and the MYTHICAL HISPANIC vote of 2016.
EUREKA MOMENT
[10]
BY AG GANCARSKI What did ALVIN know and when did he know it?
REGIONALLY ORNATE
[22]
BY KARA POUND The latest CEAM exhibit is an engaging COLLABORATIVE CONVERSATION in mixed media.
COLUMNS + CALENDARS MAIL/B&B 5 OUR PICKS 6 NEWS 8 JAGCITY 9 FIGHTIN’ WORDS 10 FILM/MAGICLANTERNS 20
ARTS MUSIC LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR THE KNIFE DINING BITE-SIZED
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LOOKIN’ FOR LOVE ASTROLOGY I SAW U CLASSIFIEDS CROSSWORD NEWS OF THE WEIRD
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FROM THE EDITOR
#DOWNTOWNISYOUREFIRED
4 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 28-NOVEMBER 3, 2015
OF ALL THE WORLD’S LANDINGS — OF WHICH there must be many — the classiest, most luxurious is Jacksonville’s. So when billionaire Donald Trump comes to Northeast Florida, naturally, that’s where he sets down his helicopter. The Landing, after all, is a perfect backdrop for a rally in support of a Donald Trump presidency, marrying the wisdom of someone who straps in with gold-plated seatbelts and a place built with the kind of foresight to anticipate people always wanting and needing a 10,000-square-foot Hooters. Those who didn’t get to hear The Donald speak on Saturday (see: losers) missed the Republican candidate for President of the United States slam CNN, Obamacare, Jeb Bush’s energy, Ben Carson’s energy, stupid politicians, Michael Bloomberg, the financial stability of Jeb Bush’s campaign, Bloomberg media, Caroline Kennedy, 70 percent of the media, Caterpillar construction machinery, Boeing, China, Japan, Mexico, teleprompters, the [stock] market (sometimes it crashes), the Wall Street Journal, Marco Rubio’s unquenchable thirst, Common Core, talking heads (not the band, I assume), Pacs, Super Pacs, Super-duper Pacs, Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl, and The Des Moines Register — which, he said, was a “third-rate newspaper” after a particularly long tangent about why polls show him in second place in Iowa. It wasn’t all shit-talking, though. Trump used the word love quite liberally in his 80-minute speech — as in “I love polls,” “I love Blue Angels,” and “I love Jacksonville,” (where he informed the crowd he used to own a casino boat, which he sold and made “a lot of money”). Among the other people, places, and things that received praise from Trump: his tax plan, his high ratings, winning, his company, his resorts, his golf partner Tom Brady, his message, his confidence, The Great Wall of China, walls in general (“they work”), Carl Icahn, Hispanics in Miami, his memory, his diplomatic skills, women who faint when he speaks, the Trump National Doral, “the owner of this big monster” [Toney Sleiman], and Lenny Curry — who, though he’s been in London all week, Trump said had been wonderful to him. And the place was packed. Though Trump’s estimate of 20,000 might have been a little high, certainly, there were many thousands in attendance. They were there because of the message, Trump said. And what message was that? “It’s an amazing message,” said the man born of exorbitant privilege. “You know what it is? It’s basically saying we’re gonna go out, we’re gonna work, we’re gonna get rid of all of these horrible restrictions. We are gonna take the country, we’re gonna make it dynamic. You’ve seen my tax plan.” This kind of substance-lacking, sloppy speech is nothing new for Trump. Since he joined the race this summer, he’s been speaking in this manner. The Trump faithful, such as the man who stood in front of me at the rally, regard it as The Donald telling it like it is. (The same guy, who brought his teenage son and daughter to the rally, surveyed a crowd made up of an overwhelming majority of middle-aged and old, white people, looked to his left, saw a man with dark skin, and marveled aloud at the diversity, before explaining confirmation bias to his children. I’m kidding, of course, but only about the last part.)
Tough talk is nothing new. Remember John McCain’s “Straight Talk Express”? And Chris Christie? Talking tough makes up for the entirety of that guy’s appeal. So why does Trump’s rhetoric — angry and devoid of substance — draw so many thousands? In virtually every city? Look no further than the many Republicans Trump dedicated a good chunk of his speech laying waste to. This is the group whose political strategy during the last eight years has been the policy of no. They’ve demonized Obama and anyone willing to work with him. They’ve poisoned the democratic process in Congress, and consistently made government out to be the bad guy.
And after getting trounced in 2012, the Republicans were supposed to reach out to Hispanic voters. They were supposed reach out to women. They knew they needed more low-income voters to go their way. Instead, their attempts to vilify immigrants, roll back women’s rights to healthcare, and deny access to affordable healthcare for low-income individuals, while wealth-disparity grew ever wider, served only to push their voter block even further right. Along the way, they never offered alternatives and certainly never said they’d be willing to compromise with Democrats. All this — along with their ties to huge corporations and their lobbies — has put the Republicans squarely in the crosshairs of the irate mob they’ve created. “Take the country back,” it seems, is a zero-sum proposition. Which makes the story Trump told in Jacksonville about negotiations to acquire the property now known as Trump National Doral so amazing. In an attempt to show just how disagreeable he could be, Trump relayed how he challenged the agreed-upon selling price of $170 “meel-yun,” much to the chagrin of the sellers, who balked at Trump’s insistence on a lower price. According to Trump, he walked out on the negotiations, which led to the sellers agreeing to the sale at a lowered rate. Trump (and just about anyone who has ever bought a used car), is comfortable deploying “the walk out” and he wondered why Secretary of State John Kerry didn’t use such tactics when negotiating with Iran. Seriously. If you’re a Republican, you should be frightened. Not only because your party has little chance when the voter turnout is high — as it will be if Trump is the nominee (though not for reasons he might be hoping for). But because of how dangerous such a ridiculous person could be to international relations. Republicans need to fear the beast their party has created. He’s an uncompromising, vacuous bag of hot air. And he may soon be their nominee for President. Matthew_B_Shaw mshaw@folioweekly.com twitter/matthew_b_shaw
THE MAIL NO DEFENSE FOR THE DEFENDERS
RE: “DEAD WRONG” BY SUSAN COOPER EASTMAN, OCT. 21 I have refrained from writing about the negative effects of losing the public defender election in 2008, because it smacks of sour grapes. And they are sour. Reading the article this week about the ineffective representation in cases pre-dating that election, I am reminded of what was really lost. The homicide defense team in place prior to the election was arguably the equal or better of any group of public or private criminal defense lawyers in the state of Florida, and I would have put them up against any in the nation. Ann Finnell, Pat McGuinness, Lewis Buzzell, Alan Chipperfield, Waffa Hanania, Susan Yazgi, Gonzalo Andux, Brian Morrissey and Deb Billard, were the best of the best. Only Morrissey and Billard ultimately survived the purge in January 2009, when the newly elected public defender removed the institutional experience, leadership and mentoring ability from the office. While serving as public defender, I assigned the homicide team lawyers to serve as mentors to our newest attorneys. Mr. Eler’s troubles with prior cases has neutralized him as a capital trial attorney, and it has made it impossible for young assistants in the office to look up to him as they did with our incredible team. The motto I wrote for the office more than 15 years ago is relevant here. “By defending the poor, we uphold the law. By upholding the law, we defend the public.”
The ability to do that well serves us all, and in the case of the public defender for Duval, Clay
and Nassau counties, that ability has been diminished. Much has been lost. Bill White Former Public Defender for Florida’s Fourth Judicial Circuit Court via folioweekly.com
EDITOR’S NOTE
IN OUR ONGOING QUEST TO SERVE AS Northeast Florida’s only independent media voice since 1987, we at Folio Weekly recognize that we can always do better. In more than one instance in our Oct. 7 cover story, “Struck Down in Her Prime,” we used the word “transgender” as a noun, which is not only grammatically incorrect but can be offensive. When used correctly as an adjective, the word describes a noun, i.e., “transgender person” or “transgender women.” We regret the error and will work tirelessly to use the correct language in the future.
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BRICKBATS & BOUQUETS BRICKBATS TO ALVIN BROWN In light of recent news about deplorable living conditions at the Eureka Gardens complex on Jacksonville’s Westside, WJCT reports that former Mayor Alvin Brown fast-tracked no interest loans that would eventually help line the pockets of Global Ministries – the maligned “nonprofit” group that owns the federally subsidized housing complex.
BOUQUETS TO COMMUNITY CONNECTIONS The nonprofit that provides transitional housing and other services for previously homeless individuals was awarded a $25,000 AT&T Aspire Grant to support the group’s after-school program, which focuses on case management services, mentorship, tutoring, computer classes, and individual services in language and reading skills to aid in high school success. BOUQUETS TO CITYWIDE MAINTENANCE OF JACKSONVILLE On Monday, Oct. 19, the company’s window-washers dressed up as superheroes and descended the side of Nemours Specialty Care in Jacksonville, in full view of sick children at the facility. According to The Daily Planet, many of the children rushed to the windows to greet the “Grime Fighters” as they rappelled down the 11-story building. KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? HOW ABOUT A PROVERBIAL BRICKBAT? Send your submissions to mail@folioweekly.com. Submissions should be a maxium of 50 words and directed toward a person, place, or topic of local interest.
OCTOBER 28-NOVEMBER 3, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5
CLASSIC SOUL BOZ SCAGGS
A progenitor of what became known as “blue-eyed soul,” singersongwriter Boz Scaggs first stepped into the spotlight in the late ’60s as lead vocalist for Steve Miller Band. Scaggs’ 1969 eponymously titled second album (which featured some blistering guitar work by Duane Allman) established a winning blueprint of blues, soul, and rock that the Grammy-Award winner followed, with much success. Top 20 singles, including classics like “Lowdown” and “Lido Shuffle,” collaborations with Donald Fagen and Michael McDonald, successful forays into jazz, and an international fan base are but a few of the highlights of a career that’s played out as cool as one of this soul icon’s one-of-a-kind tunes. 7:30 p.m. Wednesday, Nov. 4, ThrasherHorne Center for the Arts, Orange Park, $49-$238, thcenter.org.
OUR PICKS
REASONS TO LEAVE THE HOUSE THIS WEEK
FOOTBALL BACCHANAL FLORIDA VS. GEORGIA FOOTBALL
MEGA FAN FÊTE
Party (a term upon which officials frown). Tickets for the annual pigskin-and-alcohol-driven battle have (unsurprisingly) long since sold out, but there’s still a plethora of party action to quell jonesing for gridiron-related revelry Downtown, including a Tailgate Concert at Metropolitan Park (tickets start at $25) and a pep rally bash at the Jacksonville Landing. Thur.-Sat., Oct. 29-31, Downtown, makeascenedowntown.com, jaxtailgate.com, jacksonvillelanding.com.
The fourth annual WasabiCon offers a weekend of anime, comic books, cosplay, gaming, science-fiction, video games, live music, various other “geek culture” delights, along with appearances by celebs, including voice actors David Sobolov (television series’ The Flash and Guardians of the Galaxy), Amanda C. Miller (pictured, of Sailor Moon) and featured zombie Triston Johnson of The Walking Dead. Sat., Oct. 31-Sun., Nov. 1, Jacksonville Marriott, Southside, $15-$35, wasabicon.com.
CLASSIC Once again, it’s Florida/Georgia Weekend, aka The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail
WASABICON
MOUTHING OFF JAAP BLONK
Experimental Dutch musician Jaap Blonk specializes in sound poetry, using vocalizations to emit an array of phonetics, clicks and hisses to create original works and interpretations of other pieces of the truly left-of-field sonic scene. In his return to Northeast Florida, Blonk performs 20th-century avant garde iconoclast Antonin Artaud’s To Have Done With the Judgement of God, and other Artaud pieces, inside a quadraphonic sound installation. 9 p.m. Monday, Nov. 2, UNF Gallery of Art, Southside, unf.edu/gallery. 6 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 28-NOVEMBER 3, 2015
MOVIE AT HEMMING GHOSTBUSTERS Now that this “Back to the Future Day” madness has moved into the portals of, well, time,
let us now genuflect before that other ’80s genre classic: Ghostbusters! Ivan Reitman’s 1984 comedy fave follows the ectoplasmic-drenched hijinks of a gang of parapsychologists who start a ghost-catching business in NYC; chaos ensues! Co-writers Dan Aykroyd and the late Harold Ramis costar, along with Bill Murray, Ernie Hudson, Sigourney Weaver, Annie Potts and Rick Moranis. Bring chairs; food trucks, popcorn, and beer and wine available onsite. Film screens at dusk Friday, Oct. 30, Hemming Park, Downtown, free, hemmingpark.org.
OCTOBER 28-NOVEMBER 3, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7
NEWS
¿LOS EMPTY POLLS? Duval County and the MYTHICAL HISPANIC VOTE of 2016 At a recent community meeting comprising local Hispanic professionals and activists, Salcedo elaborated on his disdain for voting. When he was challenged by someone at the table about his expectations and his absence from the polls, Salcedo immediately mobilized. He mobilized himself right out the door. His presence, or lack thereof, at the polls is in line with many other Hispanic voters his age. In Florida, voter turnout for the Hispanic 65-and-older age group is 16.9 percent. Across the U.S., it’s more akin to 10 percent turnout of eligible voters. “All they want is my vote,” Salcedo reiterated. The 2015 Duval County Primary and General Election saw a Hispanic voter turnout rate of 14.9 percent and 16.3 percent, respectively, an increase over the 13 percent from the Florida gubernatorial race of 2014. Despite the progress, these rates do not sit well with those in the community trying to activate and empower the Hispanic population of Duval County. “Well, Hispanics are not represented in the candidates,” states Betzy Santiago, former president of the First Coast Hispanic Chamber of Commerce and later special assistant to former mayor Alvin Brown as a Community Outreach Specialist. “This is especially true of Duval County,” she adds, “where are the Hispanics in Duval County? Try to find them.” Estimates of the Hispanic population in Duval County are a bit hard to nail down. The 2012 census places the number close to 65,000. Yet others (perhaps with specific knowledge of areas of concentration) place the number closer to 85,000 or 90,000, including an undocumented population that seems to pride itself on maintaining a low-key, under-the-radar presence. The aforementioned 2015 Duval County General Election report shows a Hispanic vote comprising merely 4.14 percent of the total vote in Duval County. According to Santiago, for a meager 4 percent of the vote, electionwinner and current mayor Lenny Curry did not take the time to court the Hispanic vote in Duval County, nor did he take out a single ad in the city’s Hispanic periodicals. According to Marsha Oliver, director of public affairs for the Office of the Mayor, Curry met with the First Coast Hispanic Chamber of Commerce in April 2015. Earlier on Jan. 22, then-candidate Curry hosted a Hispanic business owners roundtable at a local Latin restaurant; the
Miguel Angel Garcia Salcedo, Jacksonville resident and a U.S. Army veteran
MIGUEL ANGEL GARCIA SALCEDO, A 65-YEARold Jacksonville resident for nearly 30 years, is a U.S. Army veteran with 20 years of active duty under his belt. He’s the kind of citizen over whom potential presidential candidates are salivating. The 65-and-older crowd have the highest voter turnout rates in Florida, to the tune of 24.3 percent, according to a 2014 PEW fact sheet. Yet Salcedo holds a distinction not uncommon among his Hispanic peers in that he has voted only once in his entire life. Salcedo cast a vote for President Obama during his 2012 re-election bid. It was the only time he voted and he has admitted that he’s not planning on doing it (voting) again. “I’ve never needed anything from the government,” he emphatically trumps, “and after they [candidates] get my vote, what do I get? Nothing.” To Salcedo, it is all lip-service. “It’s all talking and no mobilizing,” he adds. The rhetoric regarding the exclusion or mass expulsion of Latin American undocumented immigrants has ignited a very specific population: American-born and/or naturalized Latin American U.S. citizens. They are upset. They are rallying to be heard. They will not stand for this injustice and they will do something about it. They will do anything, it seems, but turn out to vote. After propelling Obama into the White House in 2008, the steam that propelled the Hispanic voter seemed to quickly run cold. The national 2014 mid-term election Hispanic voter turnout rate of 8 percent equaled the 2006 and 2010 turnout rate. That flat rate, in light of increased registered voters, may even suggest a less-engaged Hispanic voter. Closer to home, the number of active registered voters in Florida has increased by almost 400,000 people since the 2008 election. 8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 28-NOVEMBER 3, 2015
restaurant’s owner became one of Mayor Curry’s first city board appointments. Maria Machin, one of the founders of the Northeast Florida League of United Latin American Citizens (LULAC) Council, clarifies that, “Lenny had a checklist that he ticked off regarding Hispanic voters in Duval County. He gave a little bit of facetime. But if a community does not speak out, it will not be acknowledged.” According to Machin, the self-identification conundrum is a detriment to the Hispanic community. “When is it OK to be white or black and when is it OK to be Hispanic? In Jacksonville, it’s better to blend,” she states, “but what about those that cannot blend? United States citizens with Limited English Language Proficiency (LEP) are part of that Hispanic population in Duval County that does not turn out to vote and is not heard.” On July 9, Machin was one of the chief complainants on behalf of Valdes Civil & Human Rights Foundation Inc. and the Florida Language Access Coalition on a discrimination complaint that invoked the Title VI clause of the 1964 Civil Rights Act. Alongside Victor Valdes, president and founder of Valdes Civil & Human Rights Foundation, and Kathy Card, state coordinator of Florida Language Access Coalition, Machin complains that Duval County is “failing to provide qualified interpretation and translation services, free of charge in all programs and activities of the courts.” An agitated Machin quips that on June 29, she “walked in the Duval County Clerk’s Domestic Violence Office and pretended not to speak English, only to be gawked at as if I was an alien with green skin and two heads!” According to the complaint, Duval Courthouse policy set by COC is that anyone coming in who is LEP is to bring his or her own translator. Machin argues that the city is out of compliance because “once funds from the city and the federal government comingle, the city has to follow federal law and the law states that translation services must be provided onsite once the LEP population breaches 8 percent, which Duval County certainly has.” “Other large cities in Florida, namely Miami, Orlando and Tampa, provide translation services,” she continues, “and this is important so that registered Hispanic voters feel they have a reason to vote because they can receive services they understand. It is vital to voter empowerment.” As such, this past April, the same group of Hispanic professionals and activists that challenged Salcedo’s apathy toward voting decided to make it a prerogative to get Hispanics out to the polls in 2016 and beyond. Yet the group is still unsure about how to accomplish the daunting task. Marketing? Events? Door-to-door delivery? The Hispanic vote could very well play the role it is touted to play in 2016, but it may, unfortunately, do so in dearth rather that presence. Whether he admits it or not, Miguel Angel Garcia Salcedo could either help deliver the White House or help build the wall of exclusion. Josue Cruz mail@folioweekly.com
JAGCITY
PULL MY CHAIN
In an awful division, the Jags COULD BE CONTENDERS
T
he Jaguars, even after a four-game losing streak that ended on Sunday, even at 2-5, are lucky. They are one game off the division “lead,” right under the 3-4 Colts, who look to be less than the sum of their parts. Tied with the Texans, who lost their franchise tailback to an Achilles tear. And the Titans? A mere 1-5. A half-game back. One interesting picture that emerged from the mayor’s trip to London with the Jaguars was the shot of him fist-bumping Shad Khan. Curry looked genuinely excited; Khan looked somewhat more blasé.
player be the feature for four straight plays. The Jags lost big to two of the best teams in the NFL, but they have shown enough otherwise to be competitive. They went to London and brought home the win, going into a well-timed Bye. Who will they be when they come out of that Bye Week?
What new wrinkles will be in the offense? Will Julius Thomas finally be in game shape? And so on. Three touchdowns in three minutes is real, and it’s the kind of firepower and opportunism we saw in the Seattle Seahawks the year they went 7-9, won their weak division, and beat the Saints in a playoff game.
Winning a horrible division is just as good as winning a division with three playoff teams. Incredibly, for the Jacksonville Jaguars, it’s still a realistic goal. As long as they keep chopping wood, of course. AG Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com twitter/AGGancarski
Khan knows the Jaguars could have very well lost that game, despite the most dominant few minutes since 62-7 in the second quarter. One suspects he knows it. Even though he rebuked the critics asking for mid-season coaching changes. They had a point, though. The most frustrating series of plays in the whole game was four shots of Toby Gerhart inside the Bills’ 2. Never mind that the Jags had two tight ends who are paid good money to catch fade routes in the corner of the end zone. They ran Gerhart, then again, again, again. Like they needed to BY GOD impose their BY GOD will on Buffalo. That’s that old Del Rio BS, coming to the fore again. Like the time Del Rio took the Jags into New England and, bless his heart, wore a speedo and a tank top on the sidelines as snow flurries whirled about him – the whole scene reminiscent of some odd ’40s musical. Or the time Del Rio put a chainsaw and dried out an old Christmas tree in the middle of the locker room with a sign attached that read, “C’mon – PULL my CHAIN.” Those were good times, times of the empty posture, the preening need to establish “credibility” in symbolism because credibility in action wasn’t quite there. By the end, it had gotten stale. Blake Bortles was drafted to be a franchise quarterback, Yeldon the workhorse running back; yet when the Jags could’ve used their stars to stomp on the Bills’ throats, they went to Gerhart instead. Shad Khan didn’t invest the resources he did in the marquee players to have a sub-complementary OCTOBER 28-NOVEMBER 3, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9
FIGHTIN’ WORDS
What did ALVIN know and when did he know it?
EUREKA MOMENT REGARDING EUREKA GARDENS, THE question is simple. What did Alvin Brown know and when did he know it? If we go back to 2012, a letter from Tripp Gulliford of the Jacksonville Housing Finance Authority claims that Brown, for reasons still left unexplained, went to extraordinary lengths to ensure that Capital Trust Agency, which “financed the acquisition and alleged rehabilitation of Eureka Gardens,” was approved, despite JHFA opposition, by Brown bypassing City Council and approving the deal himself. The JHFA made the case that “CTA will essentially finance anything, with no third-party credit underwriting, lack of ongoing monitoring, and no requirements beyond the minimums in the code … schemes to earn interest on bond proceeds and to pay fees to financing professionals. CTA has also experienced several defaults on multifamily issues that were poorly structured … [and] have suffered from poor management and lack of capital to properly maintain the physical property.” As well, “there is no third-party analysis or ongoing monitoring, and there are no requirements beyond the minimum in the Code … the deals [often] involve acquisition of existing properties with no mechanism in place to ensure that the rehabilitation is adequate.” The financing, Gulliford said, was a mechanism to ensure a property flip. Meanwhile, issues were identified in 2012. The physical needs assessment from JHFA included numerous examples of “significant” repair requirements, including bad roofs, “aluminum branch circuit distribution wiring,” and “lack of GFCI outlets or circuits in wet locations, including the laundry rooms.” As well, “cracks in the sidewalks … require abrading.” Other issues identified in 2012 included needs for asphalt repair, HVAC replacement, and exterior and interior painting. Those issues and more were identified when code inspectors went in this month, providing the impetus for HUD to render its previous fraudulent and fragmentary inspections of the property invalid. A statement from Brown on Oct. 22, which seemed to surface in response to media inquiry into the potential connection between Brown’s inaction and his extraordinary interest in ensuring the deal went down to facilitate Global Ministries’ acquisition of this and other properties, skirted around these issues, instead advancing the narrative that the process was clean and met with no public objection. “When this agreement was created in 2012, it was privy to a formal process, including a public hearing and the advice of city staff and attorneys. No objections regarding this project were ever brought to my attention. I encourage
10 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 28-NOVEMBER 3, 2015
Global Ministries Foundation to finish the job it told this community it would do,” Brown said. Yet, here’s the thing. The Eureka Gardens Tenants Association people claimed (this summer at City Council) to have reached out to the mayor, by letter, way back in 2013 to let the mayor know of these issues. They got no response. At that time, Council was discussing a resolution to remove HUD funds from Eureka. And at that time, a narrative was advanced by some folks that Eureka was “getting better.” And people are still saying that, even as residents last week had to evacuate in the dead of night when gas flooded their units, and as many residents are saying the 400-unit complex needs to be condemned. Eureka Gardens “happened” because the former mayor either didn’t practice due diligence or turned a blind eye. Mayor Lenny Curry amassed a certain amount of political capital by taking action. However, the blight at Eureka is a consequence of institutionalized racism that started on ships from Africa, extended through Jim Crow, and extends to this day. Residents lived that way because they had no recourse and lacked the resources to get out. Shutting down these slums is a start. But the journey is long from here. Success of initiatives like the revived Jax Journey 2.0, which seeks to help at-risk youth and young adults, is necessary. As are improvement of infrastructure, and bus lines, as is currently in the offing with the First Coast Flyer. As well, creative solutions likely are needed. Consider the foreclosure registry, larded with 30,000 homes. How many of those homes could be brokered to Section 8 families? A lesson that we learn from Eureka Gardens is that the federal government does not have a one-size-fits-all solution in these Section 8 complexes. The Curry administration must find a “Jacksonville solution” to the problems created by thousands of people trapped in these housing complexes that are themselves quite arguably human rights violations. AG Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com twitter/AGGancarski
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NS BY
DRESS UP AS SOME ME OF NORTHEAST FLOR FLORIDA’S SCARIEST PEOPLE AND ACCESSORIZE WITH OUR LAST-MINUTE COSTUME TIPS
We’re so busy worshipping Satan here at Folio Weekly, even the holidays with Satan-worshipping undertones seem to sneak up. And, if you’re like us, you probably don’t put much thought into your Halloween getup until Walmart is down to its last Uncle Si costume (and, like most products sold there, it’s three sizes too big). Well, fortunately for you, we’re uncharacteristically prepared this year. Dedicated Folio Weekly staffers have developed some truly frightening costume ideas that are certain to seal your fate as the only person in your apartment complex not invited to next year’s party! (Trust us, it’s for the better). So go forth, Northeast Floridians. Don these costumes on All Hallows’ Evening and do as the people in power here in the 904 have been doing for years: Scare your fellow residents into a new area code. Matthew B. Shaw mshaw@folioweekly.com
our cover mask:
THE CURRYNATOR
There are some subtle differences between this character and the one created for James Cameron’s 1984 science-fiction film. First, unlike the inspiration for this costume — Jacksonville’s current mayor — the actor who played The Terminator was a relatively moderate, relatively well-liked Republican who was willing to work with Democrats. Second, unlike the Terminator, who was sent back in time by robot overlords to annihilate the parentage of a future rival faction, The Currynator has emerged from the past compliments of his wealthy overlords and is bent on eviscerating any competing political ideologies, board by board, commission by commission, thus restoring power to those who were all but vanquished after the great recession. As we said … subtle differences. Other than that, it’s quite straightforward: Just put on an ill-fitting suit and purchase some Terminator gimmicks.
COSTUME TIPS
YOUR DAD’S SUIT: Visually, Curry’s about as vanilla as they come. If there’s one discernible mayoral characteristic about him, though, it’s how un-mayoral he looks. To give yourself that Deer-in-the-Headlights look, we suggest grabbing a suit that’s much too big, and a little dated. (Kinda like David Byrne only not cool.) Goodwill usually has entire racks of ’em, as does your Dad’s closet (Free-$10). ROBOT HAND: Sometimes costumes just have to be on-the-nose. After all, if don’t have a robot hand, every five minutes you’ll be responding to queries with, “I’m a fucking robot, OK?” Spirit Halloween’s website sells a fairly functionallooking one ($14.99).
REQUEST FOR RESIGNATION LETTERS: Online, you can find copies of letters from the mayor’s office requesting resignations. There are many from which to choose. So pick one (or a few), print out a whole stack and, as you meet new people or run into friends throughout the course of the evening, ask her or him to provide an answer to an arbitrary question (maybe ask for his or her favorite number), then inform him or her that the two of you just don’t see eye-to-eye on how to move the city forward, while handing over a copy of the letters you’ve printed. Matthew B. Shaw mshaw@folioweekly.com OCTOBER 28-NOVEMBER 3, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11
VENGEFUL PROSECUTOR
Does your idea of a fun Halloween involve scaring the living shit out of innocent children?! Well, forget about choreographing a well-timed emergence from the hedges surrounding your front porch, as a merciless and Vengeful Prosecutor from Florida’s (let’s just call it) Fourth Circuit Court, all you have to do is remind those little hellions that if he or she isn’t careful, a direct file application and a life sentence is in his or her future. And if they still don’t consider you a menace, show ‘em the death penalty stats: the fourth judicial circuit is home to 6 percent of the population, but hands out a quarter of the state’s death sentences.
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COSTUME TIPS
PANTSUIT: When threatening a 12-year-old with life-withoutparole, it’s best to at least resemble someone of sane mind. (JCrew has several styles, $49.99). WILD-WIG: If a pantsuit says you “mean business,” your hair should make people frightened about the kinds of things you do after the long litigating day is over. Mycostumewigs.com has an assortment of frightening follicles, but for some reason, this 1920s bob really speaks to us. Boop-boop-bee-do! MISCELLANEOUS FILE FOLDER: Just think of as many boys’ names as possible, then write them large enough so each one is visible on the tops the files (the more generic, the better). Then, when approached by trick-or-treaters, ask for his or her name and begin shuffling through your files as you ask about his or her whereabouts on the first arbitrary date that pops into your head. Watch them run. Matthew B. Shaw mshaw@folioweekly.com
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CAPTAIN AMERICANA
Able to leap music festival stages (preferably in Brooklyn or Asheville) in a single bound! Gifted with a coiffured beard and waxed mustache thicker than the facial pelts of the most nefarious follicular-festooned foe! Is he a late-19th-century cobbler who fell into a time warp? No! A crazed D.H. Lawrence cosplayer? No, fool! A member of a barbershop quartet who’s decided to go solo? A thousand times no! It’s … it’s … Captain Americana! Defender of traditional folk music albeit as a member of an Olde Tyme combo that boasts both Bandcamp and Reverbnation pages! Captain Americana, ye righteous picker of tunes that touch on universal themes of love, hope, and loss while also narrating the lives of owls, the wheat harvest, and the transcendent allure of moonlit acorns!
COSTUME TIPS SUPERHERO SHIELD EMBLAZONED WITH A MUSTACHE: Nothing says “Beware, baddies – I roam the lands with a troubled mind and a new album where I perform sea shanties!” like a giant shield featuring a bushy mustache and/or Walt Whitmanesque whiskers. Shields are available here; facial hair not included, some assembly required: officialsuperherocostumes.com/captain-america-costumes/captainamerica-shields A BIG-ASS JUG: “Rock out with your crock out” with a stoneware jug that’ll make you the life of the party – until the other revelers come to their senses and decide to bounce the dude walking around 14 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 28-NOVEMBER 3, 2015
in wool overalls blowing on a goddamned jug. Etsy sells all kinds of malarkey – including jugs! etsy.com/market/ stoneware_jugs JAW HARP: If the bodacious gourds don’t do the trick, plant the “slobber sousaphone” betwixt your gums and jaw and let ’er rip. Guaranteed you get some. (Some what we don’t know, though.) mouthmusic.com/
MEERSCHAUM PIPE: Considered by many to be the “Vape of the 18th century,” a Meerschaum pipe combines originality with mystique and severe snobbery. Show those trick-or-treaters what an Americana Halloween is all about by blowing a thick acrid cloud of apricot-scented pipe smoke right in their adorable faces. And for good measure, drop a handful of salt-pork-flavored pastilles into their candy bags. Available atmeerschaum.com Daniel A. Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com
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COSTUME TIPS WACKY PANTS: Whether lying around the house with your laptop, firing off snarky, selfaggrandizing posts or at your desk in the office, firing off snarky, self-aggrandizing posts, don’t sacrifice your rightful comfort for acceptable attire. Whether in exotic yogi, kitschy ’70s prints, ironic corporate branding design, or the Rabelaisian court jester, and when it comes to colorful trousers, the billowier the better. With every step, let the world know you’re still a defiant firebrand. us.loudmouthgolf.com/ A PEOPLE’S HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES BY HOWARD ZINN: The late-20thcentury polymath Howard Zinn was known as a playwright and historian, but perhaps his greatest influence on the altweekly universe was his 1980 tome A People’s History of the United States, which offered a parallel chronology of the true events that forged this country, epochal instances that the majority would like to keep from you, a harried, deluded underdog. Sprechen de Illuminati?! Perhaps most important, like the entire catalog of Thomas Pynchon, A People’s History offered alt-weekly staffers the literary equivalent of a gunslingers’ standoff, wondering if their opponent actually read Zinn’s book or just had a copy lying around as a kind of eye-grabbing item that ultimately impressed very few. Available at the very un-Zinn-like Amazon.com: amazon.com/A-Peoples-History-UnitedStates/dp/0060838655 TIBETAN PRAYER FLAGS: Admittedly not really a garment per se, but this popular colorful banner can be wrapped around one’s head to make a radical statement circa 1993 that lets your fellow Halloween revelers know, “I’m vaguely a Buddhist or something.” dharmashop.com/categories/Prayer-Flags/?gclid=CIGJ_aKg0cgCFUOQHwodJOYFiQ VARIOUS PSYCHIATRIC MEDS: Your days of doing eight-balls at AAN conventions long since gone, today your life is a colorful cornucopia of mood stabilizers, anti-anxiety meds, and antidepressants. Suck it up, genius! doctor.webmd.com/find-a-doctor/specialty/psychiatry 1998 GRAY SUBARU LEGACY: Stylish, practical, paid-for, this four-door altweekly classic offers you all of the amenities that your lifestyle demands: a broken stereo incapable of playing MP3s, a ride to and from the Thai place for takeout, and safe transportation to take your kids to their life-coping classes. autotrader.com/ Daniel A. Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com 16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 28-NOVEMBER 3, 2015
AGING ALT-WEEKLY AVATAR
“Remember that time we left the David Foster Wallace booksigning, got totally wasted on Pete’s Wicked Ale, and wound up doing gravity bongs in Pavement’s rehearsal space?” No, we don’t, you altweekly dinosaur, you soul-doomed-to-soonbecome-a-relic of global media! This Halloween, celebrate the world of left-field journalism, while delivering chills provided by this outfit born from the brick-and-mortar netherworld of the aging, washed-up altweekly staffer.
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A&E // FILM BILL MURRAY’S new effort is a music-tinged misfire set in the Middle East
REALLY
R
ock the Kasbah is a star-studded missed opportunity. So much could have gone right, yet so much goes wrong. Bill Murray plays never-was music manager Richie Lanz, who claims he discovered Madonna but hasn’t been attached to a star in years. Desperate, he books his receptionist/ singer Ronnie (an underused Zooey Deschanel) on a USO Tour of Afghanistan. Chaos surrounds them after they land in Kabul, and soon a mercenary (Bruce Willis) has helped Ronnie steal Richie’s passport and money to get the first flight home. Alone in Kabul, Richie enlists the help of munitions dealers Jake (Scott Caan) and Nick (Danny McBride), which gets him into more trouble. Richie also meets prostitute Merci (Kate Hudson), who takes advantage of him in more ways than one. All of the above takes about an hour. It’s a boring hour. There’s a laugh here and there, but Richie isn’t really a guy you root for, because he shows few redeeming qualities (a scene with his preteen daughter before he leaves for Afghanistan feels thrown in and barely registers). Don’t get me wrong: We
OFF KEY
always like to see Murray the actor on screen, law, it’s the exact opposite. Thus, Salima is but when his character starts the movie by publicly shamed, but privately people are bilking a young, untalented singer out of voting for her in massive numbers, meaning $1,200, it’s hard to embrace Richie. there’s something about the Afghani community that suggests it’s OK with its The story, written by Mitch Glazer and women singing on television. Frustratingly, directed by Barry Levinson, gets interesting this is never explained. One or two sentences about halfway through, when Richie overhears on who’s voting for Salima and why would’ve Salima (Leem Lubany), a teenaged Muslim gone a long way. girl, as she sings. To him, it’s the Rock the Kasbah, with its voice of an angel, so he wheels ROCK THE KASBAH misplaced humor, also makes and deals and gets her on Afghan *G@@ you wonder who’s going to be Star, Afghanistan’s version of Rated R interested in seeing it. Will American Idol. This doesn’t go American audiences invest in over well with her traditional a scumbag shyster played by Murray, and a father, and it’s quickly noted that if Salima Muslim teenager who faces oppression that dances in her hijab (traditional female Muslim American women have never felt? OK, the attire), she’ll be killed. She has success on soundtrack has notable pop music, but so the show, but the murky social and political does iTunes. The disparate storylines go in waters make it a tough stream to navigate. tangential directions that Levinson hardly How Levinson, who once made great bothers to connect by film’s end. movies like Rain Man (for which he won an Oscar), completely misses the larger point So many reasons not to see Rock the here is mind-boggling. In the United States, Kasbah, and not one single compelling reason girls are told practically from birth that to see it. Dan Hudak they can be anything they want to be when mail@folioweekly.com they grow up. In Afghanistan under Islamic
MURDER … THE INTERNATIONAL LANGUAGE! NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH “GELATO,” THE Italian term “giallo” designates a specific type of cinematic treat – namely, Italian slasher films. Some film historians credit a specific sequence with a knife in Mario Bava’s Black Sabbath (1963) as the origin of the species. Quibbles aside, the sub-genre flourished in the ’60s and ’70s, its most distinguished practitioners including Bava and Dario Argento. Most agree one of the best of the “giallo” films is Massimo Dallamano’s What Have You Done to Solange? (1972), which genre fans will be delighted to hear is getting a full 4K Blu-ray restoration in December, just in time for Christmas. Anticipating the yuletide treat, I decided to revisit the film in its current DVD format, which isn’t bad at all. With a mostly Italian cast, the movie was filmed in London with all the actors speaking English, heavy accents and all, their voices then dubbed with surprisingly good results. The plot is pure “giallo,” with lovely girls (in various degrees of undress) pursued by an unknown killer with sharp instruments. Beautifully photographed in vibrant color, Solange has an added distinction of a musical score by Ennio Morricone. Fabio Testi plays the handsome, married Italian teacher at a Catholic girls’ school who, in the film’s opening sequence, is nuzzling one of his students in a boat. Suddenly, the girl sees a classmate being pursued and stabbed in the nearby woods. In short
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order, the ranks of the other nubile students are quickly being depleted by the same killer. Red herrings accumulate almost as rapidly as the body count, and the chief suspects are a woman (the Lothario’s jealous wife) or maybe one of school’s priests. Never dull, occasionally preposterous, but overall quite surprising in its plot twists, What Have You Done to Solange? is giallo at its best. Solange, by the way, is a central character in the plot, though her name is not spoken until near the end. Playing the title character in her film debut is Camille Keaton who, though she receives prominent billing, has not a single line of dialogue. In 1978, the young actress (a distant relative of Buster Keaton’s) later starred in the original version of I Spit on Your Grave, one of the most notorious examples of yet another genre, the rape/revenge film. She doesn’t do a whole lot of talking in that movie, either. Watching Solange, I was reminded of another foreign thriller, not an example of giallo by any means, but notable in its own way. What’s more, its title (like Solange) also features a question mark. Who Killed Bambi? (2003) is a French film, co-written and directed by Gilles Marchand in his first turn behind the camera, though he made his mark earlier as a screenwriter for the brilliant
MAGIC LANTERNS
Hitchcockian With a Friend Like Harry … (2000). The title character of Bambi is Isabelle (Sophie Quinton), a young doe-eyed nurse nicknamed for the Disney deer by the film’s villain, the handsome but creepy surgeon Dr. Philipp (Laurent Lucas). In the early stages of their “relationship,” Isabelle has trouble keeping on her feet (like Disney’s Bambi) due to an inner ear problem. Dr. Philipp will operate on her. Meanwhile, however, the doctor’s doing something odd with other patients in the hospital, though Isabelle is the only one to suspect him. It’s soon a game of cat-and-mouse or (to be more accurate) hunter-and-deer. Sort of, at least. Little is straightforward in Bambi, which owes as much to David Lynch as to Hitchcock. A curious factoid: Who Killed Bambi? is also the title of a 1977 unproduced screenplay by Roger Ebert which was to have been directed by Russ Meyer and feature the Sex Pistols. Imagine the possibilities – with an exclamation point and a question mark.
Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com
FILM LISTINGS FILM RATINGS
BITE-SIZE SNICKERS **** YORK PEPPERMINT PATTIES ***@ SKITTLES **@@ PENNIES *@@@
SCREENINGS AROUND TOWN
SUN-RAY CINEMA The Martian and Steve Jobs screen at 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com.
THE CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ The Mende Film Festival, with films by veterans and Indies, live performances, storytelling, and demonstrations of ancient arts and crafts like basket making, blacksmithing, quilting, and ring shouting, traditional health remedies and African dance and drumming, to honor the nine victims killed in June at Mother Emanuel AME Church in Charleston, is held 10 a.m.-9 p.m. Oct. 29 at Corazon Cinema; free admission and/or donations accepted; details at gullahgeecheegroup.com. The Thing, The Seven Five screen at 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com. Psycho, noon Oct. 29; The Shining, noon and 8:30 p.m. Oct. 30.
Police Department. Her partner Dane (Michael Shannon) is a womanizer, but cares for Laurel and likes her as a person. Laurel’s secret? She’s a lesbian; after a cute meet with Stacie (Ellen Page), they fall in love, buy a house together, get a dog, etc. They’re as settled as any married couple can be, but it’s 2002 and gay marriage is not yet legal. This becomes a pertinent issue when Laurel is diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, and the local government says her pension cannot be passed on to Stacie. Without the help of the pension, Stacie will lose their home after Laurel dies. Freeheld is based on actual events, and it’s being promoted as a story that was a precursor to gay marriage being approved nationwide. That may be so. It also may just be a marketing tool. Regardless, on its own terms – and not necessarily as a sociopolitical statement – it’s an emotional drama that allows us to invest in its characters and root for the right thing.— D.H. GOOSEBUMPS Rated PG Jack Black returns in this timely spooky-but-not-too-spooky romp based on R.L. Stine’s books. Costars Dylan Minnette, Odeya Rush and Ryan Lee. Stine himself sneaks in for a bit, too. THE INTERN Rated PG-13 Robert De Niro is a great actor, with an intensity that can be terrifying. Here, he’s retiree Ben, who’s paternal, kind, calm. Jules (Anne Hathaway) has started an online fashion site that’s on the fast track. Ben is bored with retirement, so he signs up to intern at Jules’ company.
He’s the voice of wisdom and experience in an otherwise chaotic, millennial-driven company, and all that that implies. JEM & THE HOLOGRAMS Rated PG A global megasuperstar and her sisters take stock of their meteoric rise and try to keep their feet on the ground while apparently reaching for the stars. Costars Aubrey Peeples, Stefanie Scott, Aurora Perrineau, Hayley Kiyoko, Molly Ringwald (I guess to lend it some much-needed authenticity), and Juliette Lewis (to lend it some much-needed sleeze). THE LAST WITCH HUNTER Rated PG-13 Some really evil witches are trying to obliterate mankind and an immortal warrior is all that remains of the forces fighting against them. So … um … he’s The. Last. Witch. Hunter. Talk about obviousities. Costars Vin Diesel, Rose Leslie, Elijah Wood, Sir Michael Caine, and Rena Owen. THE MARTIAN **** Rated PG-13 Matt Damon’s film is great storytelling, great visuals, solid performances. While exploring the surface of Mars, scientists are caught in a violent storm. Melissa (Jessica Chastain), Rick (Michael Pena), Beth (Kata Mara), Chris (Sebastian Stan) and Alex (Aksel Hennie) escape on their shuttle, but Mark (Matt Damon) is hit with debris, presumed dead and left behind. But he’s alive, abandoned, unable to communicate with NASA, and low on oxygen, food, and supplies. It’ll be four years before the next
mission to Mars. Mark doesn’t panic. He uses his background as a botanist to grow food on a planet on which nothing grows naturally, and even creates his own water. His intelligence, ingenuity and inspiration are a joy to watch. — D.H. PAN Rated PG The versatile Hugh Jackman is back, this time as the dread pirate Blackbeard. Garrett Hedlund is Hook, Levi Miller is the stubborn manchild Peter, Rooney Mara is Tiger Lily and Adeel Akhtar is Sam Smiegel, aka Smee. ROCK THE KASBAH *G@@ Rated R Reviewed in this issue. SCOUTS GUIDE TO THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE Rated R Zombies are headed toward a town where three Scouts are camping out. Can the guys save their community from the flesh-eating creatures? Are you kidding? Costars Tye Sheridan, Logan Miller and Joey Morgan. STEVE JOBS Rated R Michael Fassbender stars as the genius visionary who changed the world. Costars Kate Winslet, Seth Rogen and Jeff Daniels. WOODLAWN Rated PG Haven’t we seen this already? An athletically blessed high schooler plays football like a dream, but reality hits as hard as the opposing linebackers when racism gets in the mix. Costars Caleb Castille, Sean Astin, Jon Voight and Harry Alexander.
LATITUDE 360 MOVIES Inside Out and Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension run at CineGrille, 10370 Philips Hwy., Southside, 365-5555. PICTURES IN THE PARK Florida Blue wraps up its series with Ghostbusters at 7 p.m. Oct. 30 in Hemming Park, 135 W. Monroe St., Downtown, 556-7275, hemmingpark.org. IMAX THEATER Crimson Peak, kids’ Halloween movies, Galapagos 3D and Humpback Whales screen at World Golf Village Hall of Fame IMAX Theater, St. Johns, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com. Spectre opens Nov. 5.
NOW SHOWING
BIG STONE GAP Rated PG-13 There’s rom-com in them thar hills. Small-town shenanigans include Ashley Judd, Whoopi Goldberg, Jane Krakowski, Chris Sarandon, Jenna Elfman, Jasmine Guy, Patrick Wilson and Anthony LaPaglia. BLACK MASS ***@ Rated R Johnny Depp is real-life Boston mobster James “Whitey” Bulger, No. 2 on the FBI’s 10 Most Wanted, in a crime drama. It’s a tale of how the FBI let Jimmy traffic drugs, racketeer and murder in exchange for dirt about Boston’s criminal underground. Costars Joel Edgerton, Kevin Bacon, Adam Scott and Dakota Johnson. — Dan Hudak BRIDGE OF SPIES **@@ Rated PG-13 For director Steven Spielberg and leading man Tom Hanks, the problems are pacing and story structure. At 142 minutes, it’s far too long. It’s tedious, meandering and repeating the obvious, seemingly insistent on driving home points we already know. Story structure is the bigger flaw. The script by Matt Charman and Joel and Ethan Coen is divided like a theatrical production. Beginning in 1957, the first and more interesting segment follows insurance lawyer Jim Donovan (Hanks) as he defends accused Russian spy Rudolf Abel (Mark Rylance) from charges of treason and espionage. Jim is an insurance counselor doing a defense attorney’s job – this is based on a true story. Jim’s legal partners (Alan Alda, John Rue), the CIA, FBI, the judge (Dakin Matthews) presiding over the case and even Jim’s own wife Mary (Amy Ryan), daughters and son want it all to be for show and for Rudolf to not receive a fair trial. Jim stands by his client’s constitutional rights and does his best for the Russian. Chalk this up as a misfire and look forward to what the great Hanks and Spielberg do next. — D.H. CRIMSON PEAK **@@ Rated PG-13 In this gothic horror pic from writer/director Guillermo del Toro, a little girl is warned by a ghost to “beware of Crimson Peak.” Ten years on, the same ghost appears to the girl, Edith (Mia Wasikowska), to remind her to “beware of Crimson Peak.” If I were Edith, there’s no way in hell you’d ever get me around anything remotely resembling anything like a peak, or anything even hinting at crimson, ever. She ignores the warning, marrying a man who operates a red clay mining company, and lives with him in a creepy mansion where red clay is mined. Costars Tom Hiddleston, Jessica Chastain and Charlie Hunnam. — D.H. FREEHELD ***@ Rated PG-13 Detective Laurel Hester (Moore) is a valuable member of the Ocean City, New Jersey
The latest (and allegedly the last – sob!) installment of the spooktacular franchise, Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension is currently screening.
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REGIONALLY C
ORNATE
A&E //ARTS The latest CEAM exhibit is an engaging COLLABORATIVE CONVERSATION in mixed media
hilean artist Edgar Endress is influenced by religion and militarism in South America. His work, often created using mixed media and nearly always aiming to communicate, has made its way to Flagler College’s Crisp-Ellert Art Museum (CEAM) in the current exhibition, Edgar Endress, Finding Baroque (terre florida). An interdisciplinary project between the artist and Flagler students Yasmeen Abou El Seoud, Brittany Bertazon, Adrian Gonzalez, Laura Henning, Brenda McClary, Dulce Ros, and Lara Sibson, Finding Baroque features eight works including sculpture, drawing, printmaking, embroidery, painting, and college. Folio Weekly caught up with CEAM director Julie Dickover to learn a bit more about the project in which students were charged with literally finding the Baroque in St. Augustine. Folio Weekly: How did this project get its legs? Julie Dickover: Edgar [Endress] lives between Fairfax, Virginia, where George Mason University is located, and St. Augustine. While he was on sabbatical last spring and living here full-time, he arranged to teach the interdisciplinary course, “Finding Baroque,” to investigate whether there existed forms of the “baroque” in St. Augustine (visual or otherwise), as a residue of the Spanish colonial history here. The term the artist uses is “mestizo baroque,” which is a hybridity of Catholic and indigenous visual or verbal iconographies.
How was the course received by students? The group ended up being a great mix that included fine art, graphic design, public history, and English students.
Maria de la Leche (La Virgen de la Leche), 2015, mixed media sculpture by Marco Moreno Navarro. Shrine built by Bob Bobber. Courtesy of the artist.
his collaborative nature, and therefore tried to be as open and flexible as possible. Edgar and I had many conversations throughout the spring and summer about what research the class had undertaken, and how this would manifest itself as works for the exhibition, so I was quite well The show also features commissioned work by aware of the trajectory. As is often the case, the three artists who regularly work in the legacy installation was a little hectic (stretching and of the mestizo baroque in a religious context. hanging the triptych painting an hour before Tell me more about that. the walkthrough because In the Americas, the EDGAR ENDRESS: FINDING BAROQUE it had been held up in Church used indigenous (TERRE FLORIDA) Peruvian customs) but I labor to create and decorate Crisp-Ellert Art Museum, am really happy with the the Catholic structures. St. Augustine, flagler.edu/newsway everything turned It’s no surprise that visual events/crisp-ellert-art-museum. The exhibit runs through Nov. 25. out. The shrine component elements from their own of La Virgen de la Leche cultures, daily lives and and the painting The Beast and the Sovereign, rituals would seep into the traditional Catholic are particularly striking. I am also very proud imagery. This hybridity is what Endress refers of how collaborative this exhibition was. to when he uses the term “mestizo baroque.” Edgar is very charismatic, and is exceptional at Joel Espinoza Chamorro is a Peruvian painter inspiring criticality and creativity in people. It whose primary subject is Catholic imagery. was exciting to see the students take ownership Marco Moreno Navarro, with whom Endress of their part in all of this. has worked in the past, is a Mexican sculptor who restores and conserves traditional religious art. The embroidery piece was made by one Where will these pieces go once the show of Endress’ former students, Karla Kolb, with wraps up? whom he has also collaborated on other projects. We have always talked about the importance Endress worked with the students in the class to of Finding Baroque having a life beyond come up with designs for the sculpture, painting the limited time the physical objects are on and embroidery, and then worked directly with display at the museum, because the ideas the artists to bring the designs to life. behind the exhibition and the conversation they engender are so relevant. These are all continuing conversations, of course. At the How does the “final product” of this moment, the works will all go back to the exhibition compare to what your artist, but we have a few ideas on how we can expectations were for the show? utilize the shrine in some further capacity. I tried not to have any preconceived notions Kara Pound about what the exhibition would ultimately be. mail@folioweekly.com I was obviously aware of Endress’ work, and
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ARTS + EVENTS PERFORMANCE
ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED FROM BEING A ZOMBIE The family geared-production features zombies musing on life, death, and everything in between, 6 p.m. Oct. 29 and 30 and 1 p.m. Oct. 31 at Players by the Sea, 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach, 249-0289, $10; $5 kids under 10, playersbythesea.org. BLACK PEARL SINGS! Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre presents a musical set in 1935, about a white song collector who meets an African-American woman in a Texas prison, with a soulful voice and steely spirit, 8 p.m. Oct. 30 and 31, Nov. 6, 7, 13 and 14 and 2 p.m. Nov. 8 and 15 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, $20, 249-7177, abettheatre. com. THE LEGEND OF SLEEPY HOLLOW A family-geared staging of Washington Irving’s story of Ichabod Crane and the Headless Horseman, 8 p.m. Oct. 29 and 30; 3 p.m. Oct. 31 at Players by the Sea, 249-0289, $10; $5 kids under 10, playersbythesea.org. THREADS OF SILVER & GOLD: WOMEN OF THE PANAMA CANAL A Classic Theatre stages a story of women who came from West Indies, England and America during canal construction, 7:30 p.m. Oct. 28, 29 and 30 at Pioneer Barn, Ft. Menendez, 259 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine, $21.50, aclassictheatre.org. THE CHRISTIANS Limelight Theatre stages the faith-based drama 7:30 p.m. Oct. 30 and 31 and 2 p.m. Nov. 1 at 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, 825-1164, $26; $24 seniors, $20 military/students; through Nov. 15, limelight-theatre.org. THE ROCKY HORROR SHOW Amelia Musical Playhouse stages a campy musical about a young couple, a mad transvestite scientist, and a Frankenstein-like creation, 7:30 p.m. Oct. 29-31 at 1955 Island Walkway, 277-3455, $20; ameliamusicalplayhouse.com. ANYTHING GOES Alhambra Theatre & Dining presents a musical comedy of antics on an ocean liner, set to Cole Porter’s words and music, through Nov. 22. 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $38$59 plus tax, 641-1212, alhambrajax.com.
CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummermuseum.org. Women, Art and Social Change: The Newcomb Pottery Enterprise, 20th-century ceramics, through Jan. 2. British Watercolors through Nov. 29. KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992. Drew Edward Hunter’s Spectrum II, through October. Baseball: Origins and Early History, through December. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, 366-6911, mocajacksonville.com. Avery Lawrence: Live in Jacksonville, through Nov. 22. Smoke and Mirrors: Sculpture & The Imaginary, 3D and installation works by sculptors Chul Hyun Ahn, James Clar, Patrick Jacobs, Ken Matsubara, Daniel Rozin, and Kathleen Vance, through Jan. 24. Unmasked: Art with a Heart in Healthcare, through Dec. 6.
GALLERIES
ADELE GRAGE CULTURAL CENTER 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-5828, coab.us. The Promise to Kate Foundation
presents works by Randy Rhodes, James O’Brien, Jennifer Graham, Annelies Dykgraaf, Ivan Shaping Stars, Professor Hinson, Lucie Sterbova, Jayda Willis, Liz Bryant, and Karen Wheeler, through October. ALEXANDER BREST GALLERY Jacksonville University, 2800 N. University Blvd., Arlington, 256-7371, ju.edu. Erin Colleen Johnson: Tell Me All About It, Jefferson Rall: No Hope to New Hope, and Margi Weir: Recent Works, through Nov. 4. ARCHWAY GALLERY & FRAMING 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-2222, archwaygalleryandframing.com. Latitude 360 Degrees, by Jax Artist Guild members, through mid-November. ART CENTER COOPERATIVE Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 139, 233-9252, tacjacksonville.org. The Wildlife Jury Show, through Dec. 28. CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 8268530, flagler.edu/news-events/crisp-ellert-art-museum. Edgar Endress: Finding Baroque (terre florida), through Nov. 28. THE CULTURAL CENTER AT PONTE VEDRA BEACH 50 Executive Way, 280-0614, ccpvb.org. Opening receptions for works by Enzo Torcoletti and The Jacksonville Watercolor Society’s Fall Show Exhibit, 6-8 p.m. Oct. 30. The exhibits display through Nov. 20. FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928. Russ Wilson’s recent works display through Jan. 6. FSCJ DEERWOOD CENTER CAMPUS 9911 Old Baymeadows Rd.,
997-2500, fscj.edu. Mind, Body, Soul and Spirit – A Celebration of the Arts, student-made mandalas, through Dec. 4. FSCJ KENT CAMPUS GALLERY 3939 Roosevelt, 646-2300, fscj.edu. Morrison Pierce and Loren Myhre’s works display through Nov. 17. FSCJ NORTH CAMPUS GALLERY 4501 Capper Rd., 632-3310, fscj.edu. Express Your Selfie, by patient artists of Wolfson Children’s Hospital, through Oct. 29. FSCJ SOUTH CAMPUS GALLERY Wilson Center for the Arts, 11901 Beach Blvd., 646-2023, fscj.edu. Printmaking exhibit Blocktoberfest displays through Nov. 12. HASKELL GALLERY JIA, 741-3546, jiaarts.org. Face Forward, self-portraits by Adrian Pickett, Bill Yates, Chip Southworth, Christie Holechek, Daniel Wynn, David Engdahl, Doug Eng, Dustin Harewood, Enzo Torcoletti, Franklin Ratliff, Hiromi Moneyhun, Jason John, Jim Benedict, Jim Draper, John Bunker, Kevin Arthur, Larry Wilson, Laurie Hitzig, Louise Freshman Brown, Mary St. Germain, Mindy Hawkins, Overstreet Ducasse, Paul Ladnier, Robin Shepherd, Sara Pedigo, Shaun Thurston, Steve Williams, Susan Ober, Thony Aiuppy, and Tony Wood, through Dec. 28. HAWTHORN SALON 1011 Park St., Riverside, 619-3092, hawthornsalon.com. Lily Kuonen’s Playntings [Un]Covered through Nov. 21. HUBLEY GALLERY 804 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 429-9769, hubleygallery.com. 3D art by Valerie Pothier-Forrester
CLASSICAL, CHOIR & JAZZ
THE OCTUBAFEST RECITAL Tubaist Joanna Hersey performs 7:30 p.m. Oct. 28 at University of North Florida’s Fine Arts Center, 1 UNF Dr., Southside, 620-2878, unf.edu/coas/music/ calendar.aspx. FACULTY SELECTION HONORS RECITAL The JU faculty perform 7:30 p.m. Oct. 29 at Jacksonville University’s Terry Concert Hall, 2800 University Blvd. N., Arlington, 256-7386, arts.ju.edu. A LEGEND SALUTES THE LEGENDS Trombonist Dave Steinmeyer plays jazz classics, 7:30 p.m. Oct. 29 at UNF’s Robinson Theater, 620-2878, $8-$15, unf.edu/coas/music/ calendar.aspx. PIANO RECITAL Pianist Joel Hastings performs works of Liszt, Scriabin, and Roger-Ducasse, 7:30 p.m. Oct. 30 at UNF’s Recital Hall, 620-2878, unf.edu/coas/music/calendar.aspx. CHAMBER ENSEMBLE AT UNF Hugo Wolf Quartet performs 7:30 p.m. Nov. 2, UNF’s Recital Hall, unf.edu/coas/music/ calendar.aspx. JAAP BLONK Experimental Dutch musician Blonk plays Antonin Artaud’s To Have Done With the Judgement of God, and other Artaud pieces, in a quadraphonic sound installation, 9 p.m. Nov. 2, UNF Gallery of Art, Founders Hall, 620-2534, unf.edu/gallery. STAN PIPER & FRIENDS Renowned jazz bassist Piper and fellow JU jazz faculty play, 7:30 p.m. Nov. 4, JU’s Black Box Theatre, 256-7386, $10; $5 seniors/military/students.
COMEDY
JOHNNY LOQUASTO Loquasto, from Comics Unleashed and Gotham Comedy Live, is on 8 p.m. Oct. 29 and 30 at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-4277, $10-$25, jacksonvillecomedy.com. SARAH TIANA Tiana, of Chelsea Lately, is on 8 p.m. Oct. 29; 8 and 10 p.m. Oct. 30 and 31 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, 292-4242, $15-$18, comedyzone.com. JERSEY Comic Jersey, who’s shared the bill with Tracy Morgan, Robert Schimmel, and Charlie Murphy, performs 7:30 and 10 p.m. Oct. 30 and 31 at Latitude 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., Southside, 365-5555, $15, latitude360.com.
CALLS & WORKSHOPS
MUSICAL THEATER JAZZ CLASS Jocelyn Geronimo teaches classes for musical productions for beginning and experienced dancers, 4-5 p.m. every Wed. through Dec. 9 at Players by the Sea, Jax Beach, 249-0289, $200, gary@playersbythesea.org. ARTS IN THE PARK SUBMISSIONS The 13th annual Arts in the Park festival, a limited, juried event at Atlantic Beach’s Johansen Park, accepts artists’ applications; coab.us. ADULT ACTING & IMPROV CLASSES Gary Baker teaches basics, 5-6:30 p.m. acting; 6:30-8 p.m. improv every Sun. through Nov. 15 at Players by the Sea, $100/class; $150 for both, gary@playersbythesea.org.
ART WALKS & MARKETS
FIRST WEDNESDAY ART WALK 5-9 p.m. Nov. 4, with live music venues, hotspots open after 9 p.m., 50 total participating venues, spans 15 blocks in Downtown Jacksonville. iloveartwalk.com. DOWNTOWN FRIDAY MARKET Arts and crafts, local produce, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Oct. 30, Jacksonville Landing, 353-1188. UPTOWN SATURDAY NIGHT Self-guided tour of galleries, antique stores, shops, 5-9 p.m. Oct. 31 in St. Augustine’s San Marco District, 824-3152. RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Local/regional art, food, farmers’ row, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Sat. – Pam Affronti, Thriller Dancers, Andy King, JacksonVegas, RaniaRokz Oct. 31 – under Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside, free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com.
MUSEUMS
BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY PARK 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657, beachesmuseum.org. Naval Station Mayport: Guardian of the Southern Frontier Exhibit through Feb. 12.
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ARTS + EVENTS and new paintings by Natalia Andreeva, through October. J. JOHNSON GALLERY 177 Fourth Ave. N., Jax Beach, 435-3200, jjohnsongallery.com. Bloom, nature-inspired works by Joan Bankemper, Carolyn Brady, Nathalia Edenmont, Mira Lehr, Joseph Raffael, and Robert Zakanitch, through Nov. 5. LUFRANO INTERCULTURAL GALLERY 1 UNF Drive, Student Union Bldg. 58 E., Ste. 2401, Southside, 620-2475, unf.edu/ gallery. Lida, Paintings by Franklin Matthews, through Dec. 11. MONYA ROWE GALLERY 4 Rohde Ave., St. Augustine, 217-0637, monyarowegallery.com. Out of Place, by Larissa Bates, Natasha Bowdoin, Vera Iliatova, Giordanne Salley, Dasha Shiskin, through Dec. 20. PLUM GALLERY 10 Aviles St., St. Augustine, 825-0069, plumart gallery.com. Works by Sara Pedigo, James Quine, Mary Williamson, and Mary Lou Gibson display through October. SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 201 N. Hogan St., Ste. 100, Downtown, 553-6361, southlightgallery.com. An opening reception for the Sixth Annual Anniversary Members Exhibition is 6-9 p.m. Nov. 4. SPACE:EIGHT 228 W. King St., St. Augustine, 829-2838, space eight.com. Extended Playbook, by artists George Long, Jessica Caldas, Mario Schambon, William Downs, Adrian Barzaga, Mike Stasny, and Erin Michelle Vaiskauckas, through Dec. 3. UNF GALLERY OF ART UNF’s Founders Hall, Southside, 6202534, unf.edu/gallery. An opening reception for UNF Faculty Exhibition is 5-7 p.m. Oct. 29. The exhibit runs through Dec. 11. THE UNION ART STUDIOS & GALLERY 700 E. Union St., Downtown, 334-324-1818, unionartstudios.com. “Veil Removed – Dark Revealed: A Halloween Art Show,” 8 p.m.-mid. Oct. 30. X.NIHILO GALLERY 956 N. Liberty St., Springfield, galleryxnihlo@gmail.com. Other Criteria, works by Kelly Long and Mark Creegan, displays through Oct. 30.
HALLOWE’EN EVENTS
HAUNT NIGHTS HAUNTED HOUSE Three haunted houses – Apocalypse 3D: Clown Takeover, The Backwoods and Pinehurst Asylum – are open 7-10 p.m. Oct. 28 and 29, 7 p.m.-mid. Oct. 30 and 31, Adventure Landing, 1944 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach; $10-$26.99; 246-4386, hauntnights.com. Not for kids younger than 12 or the weak of heart.
HAUNTED TRAILS Take a spooky tour 8-10 p.m. Oct. 29, 8-11 p.m. Oct. 30 and 31, The Old Spanish Trail, 13525 W. Beaver St., Northside; $20, theoldspanishtrail.com. THE TRAIL OF TERROR Jacksonville Jaycees’ contribution to inducing nightmares is open 7-10 p.m. Oct. 29, 7-11 p.m. Oct. 30 and 31, Paintball Adventures, 11850 Camden Rd., Jacksonville, $12-$25, 474-1114, jaxterror.com. WAREHOUSE 31 Scary haunted houses are open on select nights through Halloween, 225 W. Davis Industrial Dr., St. Augustine; prices vary; warehouse31.com. ALL DAY TRICK OR TREAT Costumed kids seek candy 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Oct. 31, Anastasia Island Branch Library, 124 Seagrove Main St., St. Augustine Beach, 209-3730, sjcpls.org. HALLOWEEN COSTUME PARTY Dress up and get a free goodie bag on Oct. 31, Mochi, 4860 Big Island Dr., Ste. 2, St. Johns Town Center, 807-9292, mymochi.biz. ‘HALLOWEED’ INVASIVE PLANT COUNT Help St. Johns River Water Management District staff identify and map invasive plants at scenic public properties. The District is part of the annual “HalloWeed” count, a statewide data collection to enter invasive plant data on the Early Detection & Distribution Mapping System, along with Cooperative Invasive Species Management Areas. Staff leads a guided paddle tour on Pellicer Creek, Princess Place Preserve, 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Oct. 29. To register, call 386-643-1921 or email dstone@sjrwmd.com.
EVENTS
WASABICON The fourth annual WasabiCon offers anime, comic books, cosplay, gaming, science-fiction, video games, live music, various other “geek culture” delights, appearances by celebs including voice actors David Sobolov (TV series The Flash and Guardians of the Galaxy), Amanda C. Miller (Sailor Moon) and Triston Johnson The Walking Dead; Oct. 31-Nov. 1, Jacksonville Marriott, 4670 Salisbury Rd., Southside, $15-$35, wasabicon.com. FLORIDA VS. GEORGIA FOOTBALL CLASSIC It’s Florida Georgia Weekend! EEee! Party action includes a Tailgate Concert at Metropolitan Park (tickets start at $25) and a pep rally bash at The Jacksonville Landing. Oct. 29-Oct. 31, Downtown, for
Comedian SARAH TIANA, who’s appeared on Chelsea Lately and was on the panel for Comedy Central’s Roast of Justin Bieber, appears at The Comedy Zone Oct. 29, 30 and 31, in Mandarin.
GREAT ST. AUGUSTINE SKELETON SCAVENGER HUNT Ripley’s Believe It or Not! Museum hid 11 skeletons in plain sight along its Red Train route; find them, take pix, upload pix to Ripley’s Facebook page. Prizes, gift cards. Winners announced 5 p.m. Oct. 31, Ripley’s Odditorium, 19 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine. GHOST TRAIN, TRICK OR TREAT TRAIN The candy tour starts 5:30 p.m. Oct. 31 at Ripley’s, up to Bayfront Mini Golf for games and prizes; costume contest and screening of Wallace & Gromit: Curse of the Ware Rabbit at City Municipal Marina. Details for candy and ghost train at ripleys.com. CREATURES OF THE NIGHT Young ghosts and goblins wander walkways and meet costumed animal-keepers with creepy creatures and candy, 5:30-7 p.m. Oct. 30, St. Augustine Alligator Farm Zoological Park, 999 Anastasia Blvd., 824-3337, alligatorfarm.com. MOSH AFTER DARK The Woodley Special Effects: Horror Makeup 101, with local makeup expert Jay Woodley, discussing horror effects tricks and tips, 6:30 p.m. Oct. 29, Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Circle, Downtown; $15; $12 MOSH members, 396-6674 ext. 226, 18 and older only; themosh.org. SCREAM PARK A scare house, 3D zombie hunt, zombie paintball, coffin simulator ride (wha??), 5-10 p.m. Oct. 29, 5 p.m.-mid. Oct. 30 and 31, Clay County Fairgrounds, 2497 S.R. 16 W., Green Cove Springs, 503-9598, thescreampark.com.
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details, go to makeascenedowntown.com, jaxtailgate.com, jacksonvillelanding.com. AMELIA RIVER CRUISES Every Fri. and Sat., with live music – Jim Barcaro Oct. 31 – from Amelia River Cruises, 1 N. Front St., Fernandina Beach, 261-9972; ameliarivercruises.com. AL-ANON FAMILY GROUPS/ALATEEN When you don’t know where to turn because someone drinks too much. Al-Anon and Alateen can help. Daily meetings throughout Northeast Florida. Call 904-350-0600 or go to jaxafg.org. NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS If you think you have a drug problem, NA might be able to help. Daily meetings throughout Northeast Florida; go to serenitycoastna.org or firstcoastna.org. NICOTINE ANONYMOUS This support group for smokers wanting to kick the habit and live smoke-free is held at 5:30 p.m. every Mon. at Trout River Club, 9745 Lem Turner Rd., Northside, nicotine-anonymous.org. DEPRESSION/BIPOLAR SUPPORT The local chapter of the nonprofit Depression Bipolar Support Alliance meets 6-7:30 p.m. every Tue. at Baptist Hospital Pavilion, fifth floor, Rm. 3, 800 Prudential Dr., Southbank, dbsalliance.org. DAILY EVENTS AT HEMMING PARK Free yoga, group fitness and live music, across from City Hall, 117 W. Duval St., Downtown; hemmingpark.org/hemming-park-events.
LES BRERS IN MARIONETTES DE VIANDE
A&E // MUSIC
THE MEAT PUPPETS return to Jacksonville Beach with their signature psychrock sound
B
rothers Cris and Curt Kirkwood continue to redirect the roadmap of the proverbial long strange trip of American music. Bassist Cris and guitarist-vocalist Curt, along with drummer Derrick Bostrom, first started crackling music lovers’ neurons with their eponymously titled debut in 1982, a shambling mix of punk rock grunt mixed in with whacked-out LSD-splattered weirdness. Their subsequent releases on SST became signposts in what soon was known as the American underground music scene. Albums like Mirage, Huevos, and Up on the Sun, with their morphing of country, hard rock, and shimmering psychedelia earned the band a diehard following and the respect of peers like Sonic Youth, Butthole Surfers, and R.E.M., while turning on the next wave of musicians to the deepest possibilities of the burgeoning DIY ethic. During the band’s second decade, they experienced some brutally intense highs and lows. A major label deal was inked with London records; their Too High to Die album from ’94 remains a jewel of the “alt rock/ grunge” label feeding frenzy. Kurt Cobain issued his now-famous hosannas of the band, inviting them to participate on Nirvana’s Unplugged album. Sadly, it was also during this era that Cris’ forays into drug addiction intensified, with his eventually leaving the band altogether. While his younger brother drifted off into a crack-and-heroin fog, Curt continued to tour and record as The Meat Puppets. After a stint in prison due to his addiction, Cris eventually cleaned up his act and rejoined the band in the mid-aughts. Since ’07, the brothers Kirkwood have been working with drummer Shandon Sahm (son of Texas music king Doug Sahm). In the last few years, Curt’s son Elmo has joined in as second guitarist, turning what was once one of the truly tripped-out bands of rock into a bona fide family operation. The Meat Puppets return to Northeast Florida when they open for Soul Asylum at Freebird Live on Halloween night, Oct. 31. Cris Kirkwood was kind enough to speak with Folio Weekly from his home in Los Angeles; we talked about the band’s connection to famed local club Einstein-AGo-Go, an unwanted onstage refreshment, and the freedom found within self-indulgence. Folio Weekly: Back in the mid-’80s, you guys played here quite a bit at Einstein-A-GoGo in Jacksonville Beach. Do you have any memories of those gigs? Cris Kirkwood: Oh, yeah, I definitely do. That was always a fun little place to gig down to. I seem to recall having gotten some clothes from that boutique in the back. That’s back from when I was still young enough to look at myself in the mirror. [Laughs.] But Jax Beach was always fun.
Well, seeing you and bands like Sonic Youth and the Butthole Surfers were a real release here in the ’80s, as I know it was for a lot of kids everywhere. And it’s a lot better now, but this area was really pretty repressed 30 years ago. Yeah. But you know, the whole world is still pretty repressed. [Laughs.] That’s what drew me to the arts in the first place. But there was something about those times. And like Einstein-A-Go-Go was definitely one of those little spots. We just made this little track around the country and visited these places repeatedly. And it just kind of built up to the point where … and not like size-wise … but the communication with people and where people would get where we were coming from. There were just a handful of spots around the country were we’d say, “Oh, we’re going there again.” There were a lot of years there were people who were really down with what we were doing. And definitely Einstein’s was one of the ones.
to a point where we didn’t really get the same crowd; we no longer got that hardcore element and, after a while, hardcore became so specific. So those people weren’t really around. Were you kind of pleased about that, since it was no longer “Give the skinheads what they want”? Well, it didn’t bother me, that’s for sure. [Laughs.] And we’d played a lot of hardcore shows, but those people had a tendency to express themselves by, like, spitting on you and shit. One night we were playing the Mabuhay, that old place in San Francisco, and I’m standing there screaming my little noodle off into the microphone and in a split-second, I see this guy bounce up, hawk a loogie, and he watched as it flew and hit me in the back of the throat. And, you know, that’s just fucking gross. But it was interesting. [Laughs.] And definitely a fun time. But that was never really what we wanted to do and we were fortunate enough to find people who were into supporting what we wanted to do. But there were nights when it seemed like everyone was tripping – probably because I was tripping – and people wanted it to go as far as it would go. And it’s always been about letting the music get to where it can get to. It was never purposely “anti” anything.
Yeah. You know, I just recently re-read Joe Carducci’s Enter Naomi and he kind of reinforces how disciplined, if not brutal, that SST ethic was. Being on the SST roster, did you feel a kind of pressure to tour even more than you may have wanted to at the time? Nah, nah. But those Black Flag guys were funny that way, definitely. I can remember You know that brings up a point … I think one time we were ready to go out on the road I’ve seen you guys maybe nine or 10 times with them and they’d bought this milk truck since ’86. You might play kind of thing. And those guys a country rock show, then were very fucking much like: THE MEAT PUPPETS a straight-up hard rock [in high-pitched, elfin-like with SOUL ASYLUM show, then a concert of just voice] “discipline!” [Laughs.] 8 p.m. Oct. 31, Freebird Live, Jax spaced-out feedback … It’s So they’re like, “Here’s the Beach, $20 advance; $25 day of, never been like you’ve been milk truck — climb in.” And freebirdlive.com posing and it didn’t have we’re like “Climb in? Nah, that “anti” vibe you were talking about. And we’re good.” We weren’t down with getting watching clips on YouTube, you’re still, on down on that trajectory like those guys were. some level, doing this kind of thing. How do We were most assuredly buzzed about our you all get into this groove to shift gears like trip but I don’t think we were up against that in concert? the same thing they were up against in a I think it’s one of the things that drew me to way. A certain segment of the punker scene wanting to do this, music specifically, but just demanded a certain something from Flag the arts in general. It’s the realm of the mind, and that made a more high-pressure scene, you know? It’s very self-indulgent on a certain in a way. But they also did that a little bit level. But since that same self-indulgence is themselves as well. Whereas our deal was what the world of the arts is, we just took very focused and intent as far as what we advantage of that. It’s what we wanted to do, were doing, but part of what we were doing, it’s what we found interesting, it’s what we still was having a good fuckin’ time. find interesting. It’s what we’re capable of doing. Back then, you’d see the breadth of our palette. You guys have always kind of moved That’s intentional, at least conceptually. But it’s upstream. I had one of those The Blasting never been like, “let’s do space noodling.” But Concept compilations with all of these if that idea comes up … it’s really a matter of, punked-out bands and you covered a Foghat “this is the feel that’s happening right now, so song. [Laughs.] let’s go in this direction.” This is why I do this. Yeah. [Laughs.] And I guess we’ve always It’s our trip. And sometimes our tripped is been like that. Fairly quickly, once we started totally fucked-up. [Laughs.] touring, people got into it. And it seemed to Daniel A. Brown last for years, but now, looking back, it was only dbrown@folioweekly.com a span of a handful of years, really. But it got
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A&E // MUSIC
WHAT A
FRIGHT W
Halloween-themed show features pop-punk legend KEPI GHOULIE and Mean Jeans performing the GROOVIE GHOULIES’ greatest hits
as his backing band for the tour requests that hat’s wild as hell, dressed to the nines, never slowed down. and ready to creep you out? The “It was hard winding down a project unofficial Duval Halloween Punk Rock of such epic duration,” Kepi says. “But at Party, that’s what. Back for its second year this the same time, it was liberating. The first Thursday, Oct. 29 at rain dogs., courtesy of records I put out after were an acoustic and local promoter Nick Commoditie, this year’s electric album simultaneously so I couldn’t be edition looks to get even ghoulier than 2014. pigeonholed. And it worked!” Jeff “Kepi Ghoulie” Alexander, founder of Kepi says such diversity was always his seminal campy California rockers Groovie goal as an artist, even at the height of Ghoulies Ghoulies, performs a set of Groovie classics mania, when the band famously covered deep backed by Portland party punks Mean Jeans. cuts by huge artists like Neil Diamond, The In addition, local standouts The Lifeforms Monkees, The Partridge Family, Kiss, Chuck reprise last year’s Nirvana cover set, while Berry, Bob Dylan, and Eric Clapton. “I have John Touchton, Rebecca Rose, and Jeremiah always wanted to make ‘timeless’ music,” he Johnson get all dreamy performing Mazzy Star says. “Just cool rock ‘n’ roll like The Rolling covers such as Into Dust. Still not convinced Stones and The Ramones. Since people still this will be a Halloween party to remember? love the Ghoulies, I guess maybe it is working How about some sex-positive riot-grrl raunchthat way a bit. I’m just glad people like it.” rap with Jacksonville’s Cheyla Scantling of In a genre that thrives on self-destruction, Heavy Flow and a heaping dose of punk glam chaos, and drama, such a positive outlook from Athens, Georgia’s, SHEHEHE. is impressive — especially But it’s clear that the main coming from one of its elders. draw here is Kepi Ghoulie and KEPI GHOULIE, Kepi, who describes junk food Mean Jeans playing all the MEAN JEANS, as his only vice, still looks as Groovie Ghoulie hits that punk HEAVY FLOW, THE fresh-faced as he did in the fans cut their teeth on. The band, LIFEFORMS, INTO ’80s. And he still tours, records, which has shifted its lineup DUST, SHEHEHE and works with the energy of a more times than even the most 9 p.m. Oct. 29, rain dogs., man half his age: playing bass hardcore aficionado could count, Riverside, $10 with Chixdiggit, constantly has always been famous for its re-recording and re-releasing epic Halloween shows. For a spell Ghoulies material, writing solo records in the ’90s, they even played a run of Oct. 31, and kids’ albums, painting like a madman, engagements with legendary shock-rockers starting a vinyl subscription series, running The Cramps, which jibed perfectly with the a label, designing a limited-edition line of Ghoulies’ reputation as pop-punkers obsessed guitars with Eastwood … with underground camp and sleazy subculture In short, the man known as Kepi Ghoulie aesthetics (to wit, songs like “Flying Saucer,” never stops (a recent T-shirt released by “Christmas on Mars,” “The Beast with 5 Kicking Records says it all: “Wanted — Kepi Hands,” and “Graveyard Girlfriend”). Ghoulie for having too much fun”). But he “I was really big into B-movies obviously, always keeps his eyes on what’s next, and and that came through in my work,” Kepi told Folio Weekly after returning from a European right now that’s coming to Florida for The solo tour in early October. “I just didn’t want Fest in Gainesville over Halloween weekend, to be categorized into the ‘Bigfoot, zombies, with a few extra shows tacked on before and and monsters’ thing! I love all of that stuff, but after. “I am stoked for the Halloween shows!” I don’t want to HAVE to write those songs, so I Kepi raves. “I love to play with Mean Jeans intentionally cut back on it.” any chance I get. They rule and they play my songs awesome.” Such thematic freedom came even easier When we asked if the Oct. 29 show at rain once the Groovie Ghoulies broke up in 2007, dogs. would serve as a good practice for Fest, after Kepi and his longtime guitarist and wife Kepi was even more adamant about his love Rochelle “Roach” Sparman divorced. The for our fair River City (and the opportunity split was amicable, though (and came just it gives him to see turtles, manatees, and before the release of their ninth studio album, flamingos in the wild). “Jacksonville is not a ironically titled 99 Lives), so the indefatigable warm-up,” he says. “It’s a party!” frontman, songwriter, and artist decided to Nick McGregor keep the spirit alive by inviting good friends mail@folioweekly.com and diehard Ghoulie fans to rotate in and out
26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 28-NOVEMBER 3, 2015
Grammy Award-winning sibling trio THE BAND PERRY (pictured) perform at Tailgate 2015 with COREY SMITH, SISTER HAZEL, and JON LANGSTON at Metropolitan Park Oct. 30.
LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK
SPADE McQUADE 6 p.m. Oct. 28 at Fionn MacCool’s Irish Pub, Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 176, Downtown, 374-1247. DENNY BLUE 6 p.m. Oct. 28 at Paula’s Beachside Grill, 6896 A1A S., Crescent Beach, 471-3463. RYAN CRARY 6 p.m. Oct. 28 & Nov. 4 at Pusser’s Bar & Grille, 816 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach, 280-7766. BUTCHER BABIES 7 p.m. Oct. 28 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $15 advance; $20 day of. LAGWAGON, RUNAWAY KIDS, PEARS, INSPECTION 12 8 p.m. Oct. 28 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 246-2473, $20 advance; $23 day of. AARON KOERNER 6 p.m. Oct. 29, Pusser’s Bar & Grille. The BAND BE EASY 8 p.m. Oct. 29 at Latitude 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., Southside, 365-5555. STUBBILY MUG, KID DEAD, STRIFE, CRY HAVOC, LETHAL SKRIPTUREZ, GEEXELLA 7 p.m. Oct. 29 at The Birdhouse, 1827 N. Pearl St., Springfield, $7. LEE HUNTER & THE GATHERERS 7:30 p.m. Oct. 29 at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., San Marco, 352-7008, $10. TWO COW GARAGE, THE MUTTS, JOEST 8 p.m. Oct. 29, Jack Rabbits, $10 advance; $15 day of. The WINTER PASSING, HAVE HOLD, TEEN DEATH 8 p.m. Oct. 29 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown. KEPI GHOULIE, MEAN JEANS, HEAVY FLOW, LIFEFORMS (as Nirvana), INTO DUST (as Mazzy Star), SHEHEHE 9 p.m. Oct. 29 at rain dogs, 1045 Park St., Riverside, 379-4969. Suwannee Hulaween: STRING CHEESE INCIDENT, PRETTY LIGHTS, PRIMUS, CHANCE the RAPPER, RAILROAD EARTH and others Oct. 30-Nov. 1 at Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park, 3076 95th Dr., 386-364-1683, $65-$555, musicliveshere.com. Tailgate 2015: THE BAND PERRY, COREY SMITH, SISTER HAZEL, JON LANGSTON 5 p.m. Oct. 30, Metropolitan Park, 4110 Gator Bowl Blvd., Downtown, $25-$125, jaxtailgate.com. MIKE SHACKELFORD, STEVE SHANHOLTZER 7:30 p.m. Oct. 30, Mudville Music Room, $10. THE WORLD HAS TURNED (Weezer tribute) 8 p.m. Oct. 30, Jack Rabbits, $8 advance; $10 day of. LA-A, OLD WOUND, RHYTHM OF FEAR 8 p.m. Oct. 30, The Birdhouse. DUSTIN BRADLEY 8 p.m. Oct. 30, Pusser’s Bar & Grille. MEDAL MILITIA (Metallica tribute), A GOOD FRIEND & A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY (Pantera tribute), WITHOUT RESTRAINT (Scorpions tribute) 8 p.m. Oct. 30 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 246-2473, $10 advance; $15 day of. CHUCK NASH BAND 9:30 p.m. Oct. 30 at Whiskey Jax, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Southside, 634-7208. ROGER THAT 10 p.m. Oct. 30 & 31 at The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 264-0611.
CAPTAIN OBVIOUS 10 p.m. Oct. 30 & 31 at Flying Iguana, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680. Riverside Arts Market: PAM AFFRONTI, THRILLER DANCERS, ANDY KING, JACKSON VEGAS, RANIAROKZ 10:30 a.m. Oct. 31 at 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449. JAIME SANTANA DUO 7 p.m. Oct. 31, Pusser’s Bar & Grille. ASKMEIFICARE 8 p.m. Oct. 31 at 1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St., Downtown, $10 advance; $13 day of. LEE BAINES III & the GLORY FIRES, PUJOL, ELECTRIC WATER 8 p.m. Oct. 31, Burro Bar. THE FEATURES, FAZE WAVE, NORTHE 8 p.m. Oct. 31, Jack Rabbits, $10 advance; $15 day of. SOUL ASYLUM, MEAT PUPPETS 8 p.m. Oct. 31, Freebird Live, $20 advance; $25 day of. The UNDERACHIEVERS, POUYA, KIRK KNIGHT, BODEGA BAMZ 8 p.m. Nov. 1 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, 353-6067, $18-$75. THE ROYAL CONCEPT, PARADE OF LIGHTS, TRIBE SOCIETY, THE DOG APOLLO 8 p.m. Nov. 1, Jack Rabbits, $10 advance; $15 day of. STRANGE WILDS 9 p.m. Nov. 1, rain dogs. CARNIFEX, BLACK TONGUE, LORNA SHORE, THE LAST TEN SECONDS OF LIFE 5:30 p.m. Nov. 3, 1904 Music Hall, $14. DENNY BLUE 6 p.m. Nov. 4 at Paula’s Beachside Grill, 6896 A1A S., Crescent Beach, 471-3463. BOZ SCAGGS 7:30 p.m. Nov. 4 at Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts, 283 College Dr., Orange Park, 276-6750, $49-$238.
UPCOMING CONCERTS
LITTLE RIVER BAND Nov. 5, The Florida Theatre LEFTOVER SALMON Nov. 5, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall AMERICA’S GOT TALENT LIVE Nov. 6, The Florida Theatre MARY J. BLIGE Nov. 6, Veterans Memorial Arena TOMBOI, INSEL Nov. 6, Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens PRONG, APPALACHIAN DEATH TRAP Nov. 6, Jack Rabbits The BROTHERS COMATOSE Nov. 7, Jack Rabbits ALL HANDS on DECK Nov. 8, The Florida Theatre REVEREND PEYTON’S BIG DAMN BAND, BRYCE ALASTAIR BAND Nov. 8, Jack Rabbits BEACH CREEPS, NOTEL, The MOLD Nov. 9, Burro Bar SLOW MAGIC Nov. 11, The Original Café Eleven TEXAS in JULY, REFLECTIONS, TO the WIND, INVENT, ANIMATE Nov. 11, Underbelly KNUCKLE PUCK, SEAWAY, SORORITY NOISE, HEAD NORTH Nov. 11, 1904 Music Hall ADRIAN LEGG, DAVID LINDLEY Nov. 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CHASE BRYANT Nov. 12, Mavericks Live at the Landing BLENDED BREW Nov. 12, Jack Rabbits AMERICA Nov. 13, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts Piuspalooza: TELEPATHIC LINES, ALLIGATOR, QUEEN BEEF, The RESONANTS, BROWN PALACE, SCAVUZZOS Nov. 13, Shanghai Nobby’s JAKE SHIMABUKURO Nov. 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall GABRIEL IGLESIAS Nov. 13, The Florida Theatre KRISTIN CHENOWITH Nov. 14, T-U Center Salt Marsh Brewgrass Festival: GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE, THE APPLEBUTTER EXPRESS, THE FIREWATER TENT REVIVAL Nov. 14, North Florida Land Trust Talbot House, Big Talbot Island JAMES McMURTRY Nov. 15, Jack Rabbits CANDLEBOX Nov. 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall
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LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC
Alabama heavy rockers LEE BAINES III & the GLORY FIRES play with PUJOL and ELECTRIC WATER at Burro Bar Oct. 31, Downtown.
STRAIGHT NO CHASER Nov. 17, The Florida Theatre The DIRTY DOZEN BRASS BAND, NEW BREED BRASS BAND Nov. 21, Ritz Theatre & Museum SWAMP RADIO EARLY THANKS Nov. 21, St. Augustine Amphitheatre THE SWORD Nov. 21, Freebird Live This is Not a Test Tour: TOBYMAC, BRITT NICOLE, COLTON DIXON, HOLLYN Nov. 22, Veterans Memorial Arena SO.ILLAQUISTS of SOUND, BLUEPRINT, DUMBTRON, E-TURN, GRAMMAR TREE, GRAYSKUL Nov. 27, 1904 Music Hall SCOTT BRADLEE’S Postmodern Jukebox Nov. 28, The Florida Theatre THE HIP HOP NUTCRACKER Nov. 29, Ritz Theatre & Museum RONNIE MILSAP Nov. 29, The Florida Theatre LA-A, BLEAK Nov 30, Shantytown Pub DAVE KOZ CHRISTMAS TOUR Dec. 1, The Florida Theatre MAC MILLER, EARTHGANG, MICHAEL CHRISTMAS, REMEMBER MUSIC Dec. 2, The Florida Theatre LUCERO Dec. 3, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BRIAN WILSON, AL JARDINE Dec. 5, Florida Theatre NICHOLAS PAYTON Dec. 5, Ritz Theatre & Museum Big Ticket: TWENTY ONE PILOTS, OF MONSTERS & MEN, WALK the MOON, The NEIGHBOURHOOD, GLASS ANIMALS, ANDREW McMAHON, MUTEMATH, PVRIS, ROBERT DeLONG, COLEMAN HELL, BORNS, BOOTS on
BOOTS Dec. 6, Metropolitan Park KANSAS Dec. 6, The Florida Theatre D.R.I. Dec. 9, Harbor Tavern LOUDON WAINWRIGHT III, MELISSA FERRICK Dec. 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA Dec. 11, Veterans Memorial Arena KEVIN GRIFFIN Dec. 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BRIAN REGAN Dec. 13, The Florida Theatre RISING APPALACHIA Dec. 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall LEON RUSSELL Dec. 17,
Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BOWZER’S Rock ’N’ Roll Holiday Party: The TOKENS, FREDDY BOOM BOOM CANNON Dec. 17, Florida Theatre MATISYAHU Dec. 18 & 19, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MICHAEL McDONALD Dec. 19, Thrasher-Horne Center The TEN TENORS Dec. 22, The Florida Theatre CHRIS DUARTE Dec. 22, Mudville Music Room DONNA the BUFFALO Dec. 30, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SOJA Jan. 1, The Florida Theatre JOHN SEBASTIAN Jan. 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall STEVE FORBERT TRIO Jan. 9, Mudville Music Room THE OLATE DOGS Jan. 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall YO YO MA Jan. 14, Amelia Island Chamber Music Festival TROMBONE SHORTY & ORLEANS AVENUE Jan. 15, PVC Hall The TEMPTATIONS, The FOUR TOPS Jan. 21, Florida Theatre JESCO WHITE, SNAKE BLOOD REMEDY, GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE Jan. 23, Jack Rabbits ANA POPOVIC Jan. 28, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall JOHNNY MATHIS Jan. 31, Florida Theatre COLIN HAY Jan. 31, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall 2CELLOS Feb. 2, The Florida Theatre YANNI Feb. 3, T-U Center Southern Soul Assembly: JJ GREY, ANDERS OSBORNE, MARC BROUSSARD, LUTHER DICKINSON Feb. 4, Florida Theatre
ALAN PARSONS PROJECT Greatest Hits Tour, Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra Feb. 10, Florida Theatre ROBERT RANDOLPH & the FAMILY BAND Feb. 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PATTY GRIFFIN, SARA WATKINS, ANAIS MITCHELL Feb. 13, Florida Theatre The JAMES HUNTER SIX Feb. 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SUN RA ARKESTRA Feb. 20, Ritz Theatre ADAM TRENT Feb. 21, Florida Theatre GARY CLARK JR. Feb. 21, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall VINCE GILL, LYLE LOVETT Feb. 25, The Florida Theatre IL VOLO March 3, The Florida Theatre BLACK VIOLIN March 3, Ritz Theatre ROGER McGUINN March 4, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall HERB ALPERT & LANI HALL March 4, The Florida Theatre JASON ISBELL, SHOVELS & ROPE March 5, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JANET JACKSON March 8, Veterans Memorial Arena GET the LED OUT March 17, Florida Theatre JOHNNY CLEGG & HIS BAND March 18, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall JOE SATRIANI March 19, The Florida Theatre THE FAB FOUR: The ULTIMATE TRIBUTE March 19, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CECILE McLORIN SALVANT March 31, Ritz Theatre NAJEE April 9, Ritz Theatre & Museum LET IT BE: Celebration of The Beatles April 10, The Florida Theatre WANEE MUSIC FESTIVAL April 14, 15 & 16 THE BRONX WANDERERS April 16, Florida Theatre One Night of Queen: GARY MULLEN & the WORKS April 20, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall A NIGHT WITH JANIS JOPLIN April 21, The Florida Theatre ELLIS PAUL May 13, The Original Café Eleven 5 SECONDS OF SUMMER July 20, Veterans Memorial Arena
LIVE MUSIC CLUBS
AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA
GREEN TURTLE TAVERN, 14 S. Third St., 321-2324 Buck Smith Thur. Yancy Clegg Sun. Vinyl Record Nite every Tue.
AVONDALE, ORTEGA
CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free 9 p.m. Tue. & Thur. Indie dance 9 p.m. every Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance at 9 p.m. every Fri. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns, 388-0200 Barrett Jockers Oct. 29. Whetherman Oct. 30. Str8 Up Oct. 31. Live music every weekend
THE BEACHES
(All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted)
CULHANE’S, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 DJ Hal every Sat. Irish music every Sun. FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 3 Oct. 29. Captain Obvious 10 p.m. Oct. 30 & 31. Darren Corlew Nov. 1 FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 Lagwagon, Runaway Kids, Pears, Inspection 12 Oct. 28. Medal Militia (Metallica Tribute), A Good Friend & A Bottle Of Whiskey (Pantera Tribute), Without Restraint (Scorpions tribute) 8 p.m. Oct. 30. Soul Asylum, Meat Puppets Oct. 31 HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815 Live music Fri. & Sat. Dan Evans, Spade McQuade Sun. Back From the Brink Mon. LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 The Crazy Carls 10 p.m. Oct. 30. The Wilder Sons 10 p.m. Oct. 31 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 Third St. N., 241-5600 Flatland Oct. 28. Part One Tribe Oct. 29. Blue Muse Oct. 30. Wolly & Doc Oct. 31 MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573 Gypsies Ginger every Wed. Mike Shackelford & Steve Shanholtzer Thur. NIPPERS BEACH GRILLE, 2309 Beach Blvd., 247-3300 Live music most weekends RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877 Billy Bowers 7 p.m. Oct. 28. Live music every weekend SLIDERS SEAFOOD GRILLE, 218 First St., Neptune Beach, 246-0881 Jimmi Mitchell Oct. 30 SURFING SOMBREROS, 221 First St. N., 834-9377 Counterpunch, The Decline, Flag on Fire Oct. 29 WIPEOUTS GRILL, 1589 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 247-4508 Live music 7 p.m. Oct. 29, 9 p.m. Oct. 30
DOWNTOWN
1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N. Askmeificare Oct. 31. Carnifex, Black Tongue, Lorna Shore, The Last Ten Seconds of Life Nov. 3 BURRO BAR, 100 E. Adams St. The Winter Passing, Have Hold, Teen Death 8 p.m. Oct. 29. Lee Baines III & The Glory Fires, Pujol, Electric Water Oct. 31 DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 BlackJack every Wed. DJ Brandon every Thur. DJs spin dance music every Fri. DJ NickFresh Sat. DJ Randall 9 p.m. Mon. DJ Hollywood Tue.
28 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 28-NOVEMBER 3, 2015
LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC FIONN MacCOOL’S, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247 Spade McQuade Oct. 28. The Daygos 9 p.m. Oct. 30. DJ Kevin Tos Noon-3 p.m. Oct. 31. Austin Park 9 p.m. Oct. 31 JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 Wester Joseph’s Stereo Vudu 4 p.m., Austin Park 8 p.m., DJ Kevin Tos 7 p.m. Oct. 30. DJ Kevin Tos 7 p.m., Who Rescued Who 7:30 p.m., DJ Hydro 7 p.m. Oct. 31 MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Dr. Doom 10 p.m.-2 a.m. every Fri. DJ Shotgun 10 p.m.-2 a.m. every Sat. MAVERICKS LIVE, Jax Landing, 356-1110 Locals Bands Show 6 p.m. Oct. 29. Joe Buck, DJ Justin Thur.-Sat. UNDERBELLY, 113 E. Bay St., 699-8186 The Underachievers, Pouya, Kirk Knight, Bodega Bamz 8 p.m. Nov. 1
FLEMING ISLAND
WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 The Conch Fritters 5 p.m. Oct. 30. Live music Fri. & Sat. DJ Throwback Thur. Deck music Fri., Sat. & Sun.
INTRACOASTAL WEST
CLIFF’S BAR & GRILL, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 The Remains Oct. 31. Live music most weekends JERRY’S Sports Grille, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766 Boogie Freaks Oct. 30
MANDARIN, JULINGTON
DAVE’S MUSIC BAR & GRILL, 9965 San Jose, 575-4935 Live music Oct. 31 HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., 880-3040 Open jam 7 p.m. every Mon.
ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG
CLUB RETRO, 1241 Blanding Blvd., 579-4731 ’70s & ’80s dance 8 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. DJ Capone every Wed. THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael every Tue.-Sat. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Roger That 10 p.m. Oct. 30 & 31. Live music 10 p.m. Wed. DJ Big Mike 10 p.m. Thur.
PONTE VEDRA
PUSSER’S Grill, 816 A1A, 280-7766 Ryan Crary Oct. 28.
LET IT REIN
MANY (MANY) YEARS AGO, MY BAND PLAYED A show at The Mill, situated on the ground fl oor of The Jacksonville Landing. Being a progressive rock band, as prog-rock goes, we were paired anomalously with a band called Rein Sanction. I was unaware at the time that the Jacksonville trio – once signed to Sub Pop – was nearly legendary in the post-punk grunge scene of the early ’90s. I was also unaware the band was about to implode under its own weight, shortly after our show together. Several years later, I was on stage at Murray Hill Theater at an early-afternoon jam session with some local punks. One of those punks was Ian Chase, former bass player for Rein Sanction. Hair now shorn, the manic Chase pushed the jams into high-speed whenever he could, and I found myself wondering who the hell this guy was. “Oh, yeah, that Rein Sanction guy … ” Turns out, Chase has a long history in Northeast Florida, as a musician, visual artist, and restaurateur (he owns The Fox in Avondale and co-owns Downtown’s Chomp Chomp). He’s a friend of fellow musicians and artists; hiring them to work in his restaurants, often hanging their art in said establishments. But until recently, he had been noticeably absent from the music scene. That absence is soon to come to an end. Chase has been working in a doomy quartet called LA-A (I’ll let Chase explain the pronunciation in a moment), and they’re gearing up for a series of shows beginning in November. The ever-intense Chase recently spoke to Folio Weekly about his new band and what it means for Northeast Florida. Folio Weekly: LA-A. And that is pronounced … ? Ian Chase: LA-A is pronounced La-dash-a. [The
Aaron Koerner Oct. 29. Dustin Bradley Oct. 30. Jamie Santana Duo Oct. 31 TABLE 1, 330 A1A, 280-5515 Monica DaSilva Oct. 28. Robbie Lit Oct. 29. Paxton & Mike Oct. 31
RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE
Local punk faves ASKMEIFICARE celebrate their three-year anniversary at 1904 Music Hall Oct. 31, Downtown.
ACROSS THE STREET, 948 Edgewood Ave. S., 683-4182 Live music most weekends MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood S., 388-7807 Halloween Party Oct. 30 RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969 Kepi Ghoulie, Mean Jeans, Heavy Flow, Lifeforms (As Nirvana), Into Dust (As Mazzy Star), Shehehe Oct. 29. Strange Wilds Nov. 1 RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449 Pam Affronti, Thriller Dancers, Andy King, Jackson Vegas, Raniarokz 3 Oct. 31
ST. AUGUSTINE
CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 Vinny Jacobs Nov. 1 PAULA’S GRILL, 6896 A1A S., Crescent Beach, 471-3463 Denny Blue open mic jam 6-9 p.m. Oct. 28 SHANGHAI NOBBY’S, 10 Anastasia Blvd., 547-2188 Live music most weekends TRADEWINDS, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Matanzas Oct. 30 & 31
SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK
JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Butcher Babies 7 p.m. Oct. 28. Two Cow Garage, The Mutts, Joest Oct. 29. The World has Turned Oct. 30. The Features, Faze Wave, Northe Oct. 31. The Royal Concept, Parade of Lights, Tribe Society, The Dog Apollo Nov. 1
band] came to be earlier this year, after the band Rites ended, and the lead singer, Colton Lane, became available. I dug his high-intensity stage antics. I have musical history with a friend named Sco [Scotty Bayer]. I knew both had a passion for making heavy music. All coming from different but similar musical backgrounds, we knew we could bring a good band. We enlisted Tyler Manning, who’s played in many local bands, a super-talented drummer. The name LA-A just sounded heavy to us, and having a name that’s a bit confusing is cool to me.
MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 3527008 Lee Hunter & the Gatherers 7:30 p.m. Oct. 29. Mike Shackelford, Steve Shanholtzer Oct. 30
SOUTHSIDE, BAYMEADOWS, ARLINGTON
LATITUDE 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 Be Easy Oct. 29. Katz Downstairs Oct. 31 & Nov. 1 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999 Whetherman 8 p.m.Oct. 29. Milltown Road Oct. 30. Robbie Lit Oct. 31 WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows, 634-7208 Savanna Leigh Bassett Oct. 28. Chuck Nash Band 9:30 p.m. Oct. 30. DiCarlo Thompson Oct. 31. Melissa Smith Thur. Mojo Roux Blues Sun. Kassyli jam Wed.
SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE
THE BIRDHOUSE, 1827 N. Pearl St. Stubbily Mug, Kid Dead, Strife, Cry Havoc, Lethal Skripturez, Geexella 7 p.m. Oct. 29. La-A, Old Wound, Rhythm of Fear Oct. 30 SHANTYTOWN PUB, 22 W. Sixth St., 798-8222 Howleez, Battery Electric, Concrete Criminals Oct. 29. Live music most weekends THREE LAYERS COFFEEHOUSE, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 Ao Mega Nov. 2
THE KNIFE
THE KNIFE
Having been in Rein Sanction, you have quite a rep to uphold with this new project. Rein Sanction was an all-encompassing entity that existed in the late ’80s and early ’90s. We had a small amount of national and international success, signed to Sub Pop records out of Seattle. We had to call it quits at the height of our success, due to health concerns. Definitely book material. After the band, I focused on my career, the whole time practicing my guitar and quietly plotting my return – but don’t call it a comeback. LA-A is kind of doom metal, yes? I’ll leave the genre monikers like “doom” or “stoner” to others. We call it hard rock. I think the sound is not that far a departure from Rein Sanction, both power trios, but this time, the focus is more on the vocals. LA-A might wear its influences a little more on our sleeves. In many ways, LA-A is my homage to RS. A eulogy.
Any plans to take this thing national? I expect this band to last as long as we want. We definitely have plans and some goals we’d like to achieve. Right now, we’re enjoying being a stress-free band. We just finished our first demo recording, and are playing a handful of local and out-of-town shows. We have only been a band for a few months, so in a lot of ways, we’re still getting our feet going. Our sound has already developed so much from the demo with the songs we’re working on now. We are just trying to play some shows. Hopefully, do some weekend touring in the near future. We have big plans for 2016. John E. Citrone theknife@folioweekly.com LA-A, OLD WOUND, RHYTHM OF FEAR 8 p.m. Oct. 30 at The Birdhouse, 1827 N. Pearl St., Springfield
OCTOBER 28-NOVEMBER 3, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 29
Smooth margaritas, tangy tamales, and Mexican favorites abound at Springfield’s HOLA MEXICAN RESTAURANT. Photo by Dennis Ho
DINING DIRECTORY AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH
29 SOUTH EATS, 29 S. Third St., 277-7919, 29south restaurant.com. F In historic downtown, Chef Scotty Schwartz serves traditional regional cuisine with a modern twist. $$ L Tue.-Sat.; D Mon.-Sat.; R Sun. BARBERITOS, 1519 Sadler Rd., 277-2505. 463867 S.R. 200, Ste. 5, Yulee, 321-2240, barberitos.com. F Southwestern fare made-to-order fresh; burritos, tacos, quesadillas, salsa. $$ BW K TO L D Daily BEACH DINER, 2006 S. Eighth St., 310-3750, beachdiner. com. Innovative breakfast items: Eggs on the Bayou, fishn-grits; French toast, riders, omelets. Lunch fare: salads, burgers, sandwiches, shrimp & crabmeat salad. $$ BW K TO L D Daily BEECH STREET BAR & GRILL, 801 Beech St., 572-1390, beechstreetbarandgrill.com. In a restored 1889 home, Chef Charles creates dishes using fresh, local ingredients. Local seafood, handcut Florida steaks, housemade pasta, daily specials, small plates, street food. $$$-$$$$ FB D Tue.-Sat.; Brunch, D Sun. BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F Southern hospitality, upscale waterfront spot; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB K L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo. com. F Family-owned spot in historic building. Veggie burgers, seafood, made-from-scratch desserts. Dine in or on oak-shaded patio. Karibrew Pub next door. $$ FB K TO R, Sun.; L D Daily CHEZ LEZAN BAKERY CO., 1014 Atlantic Ave., 491-4663, chezlezanbakery.com. Fresh European-style breads, pastries: croissants, muffins, cakes, pies. $ TO B R L Daily DAVID’S Restaurant & Lounge, 802 Ash St., 310-6049, ameliaislanddavids.com. Fine dining, historic district. Fresh seafood, prime aged meats, rack of lamb. $$$$ FB D Wed.-Mon. DICK’S Wings & Grill, 474313 E. S.R. 200, 491-3469. 450077 S.R. 200, Callahan, 879-0993. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK.
ELIZABETH POINTE LODGE, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabethpointelodge.com. F Award-winning B&B. Seaside dining, inside or out. Hot buffet breakfast daily. Homestyle soups, sandwiches, desserts. $$$ BW B L D Daily JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackand dianescafe.com. F In renovated 1887 shotgun house. Jambalaya, French toast, mac-n-cheese, vegan/vegetarian items. Dine in or on porch. $$ FB K B L D Daily LULU’S at Thompson House, 11 S. 7th St., 432-8394, lulusamelia.com. F Po’boys, salads, local seafood, local shrimp. Reservations. $$$ BW K TO R Sun.; L D Tue.-Sat. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moon riverpizza.net. F 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic Northernstyle pizzas, 20-plus toppings, by the pie or the slice. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE MUSTARD SEED CAFÉ, 833 TJ Courson Rd., 2773141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Casual organic eatery, juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juice, herbal tea. $$ TO B L Mon.-Sat.
30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 28-NOVEMBER 3, 2015
PABLO’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT GRILL & CANTINA, 12 N. Second St., 261-0049. Authentic Mexican cuisine made fresh and locally. Chicken, carnes, fajitas, burritos, tacos, daily specials. Awesome margaritas. And there’s a real Pablo there. $$$ FB K TO L D Daily THE PECAN ROLL BAKERY, 122 S. Eighth St., 491-9815, thepecanrollbakery.com. F The bakery, near historic district, has sweet and savory pastries, cookies, cakes, bagels, breads, all made from scratch. $ K TO B L Wed.-Sun. PI INFINITE COMBINATIONS, 19 S. Third St., 432-8535, pi32034.wix.com/piinfinite. All bar service at New Yorkstyle pizza joint. Specialty pizzas, by pie or slice, topped with sliced truffle mushrooms, whole little neck clams, eggs or shrimp. Dine in or in courtyard, with fountain. $$ BW TO L D Wed.-Sun. PLAE, 80 Amelia Village Cir., 277-2132, plaefl.net. Bite Club. Bistro-style venue serves whole fried fish, duck breast. Outside. $$$ FB L Tue.-Sat.; D Nightly SALTY PELICAN Bar & Grill, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Second-story outdoor bar. Owners T.J. and Al offer local seafood, Mayport shrimp, fish tacos, po’boys, cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F Oceanfront; handmade crab cakes, fresh seafood, fried pickles. Outdoor dining, open-air second floor, balcony. $$ FB K L D Daily T-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. Eighth St., 261-6310. F 2015 BOJ winner. In an old gas station; blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L Mon.-Sat.
ARLINGTON, REGENCY
DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 9119 Merrill Rd., 745-9300. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1301 Monument Rd., 724-5802. F SEE ORANGE PARK. THE STEAKHOUSE @ Gold Club, 320 Gen. Doolittle Dr., 645-5500, jacksonvillegoldclub.com. Lunch and dinner specials, free happy hour buffets Thur. & Fri. $$$ FB L D Daily
AVONDALE, ORTEGA
FLORIDA CREAMERY, 3566 St. Johns Ave., 619-5386. Premium ice cream, waffle cones, milkshakes, sundaes and Nathan’s grilled hot dogs, served in a Florida-centric décor. Low-fat and sugar-free choices. $ K TO L D Daily
To get your restaurant listed here, just call your account manager or Sam Taylor at 904.260.9770 ext. 111 or staylor@folioweekly.com.
DINING DIRECTORY KEY
Average Entrée Cost $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer/Wine FB = Full Bar K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch L = Lunch D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted free FW Bite Club tasting. fwbiteclub.com. 2015 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot
HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, harpoonlouies.net. F Locally owned and operated for 20-plus years, the American pub serves 1/2-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta. Local beers. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.
MOJO NO. 4 URBAN BBQ & WHISKEY BAR, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. PINEGROVE MARKET & DELI, 1511 PineGrove Ave., 389-8655, pinegrovemarket.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. 40-plus years. Burgers, Cuban sandwiches, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher cuts USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. $ BW TO B L D Mon.-Sat. RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaurantorsay.com. 2015 BOJ winner. French/Southern bistro; locally grown organic ingredients. Steak frites, mussels, pork chops. Snail of Approval. $$$ FB K R, Sun.; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simply saras.net. F Down-home fare, from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Mon.-Sat., B Sat.
BAYMEADOWS
AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. INDIA’S RESTAURANT, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajax.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic cuisine, lunch buffet. A variety of curries, vegetable dishes, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L Mon.-Sat.; D Nightly LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., 737-7740. 8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., 425-9142. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 11030 Baymeadows Rd., 260-2791. SEE MANDARIN. PATTAYA THAI GRILLE, 9551 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1, 646-9506, ptgrille.com. Family-owned Thai place serves traditional fare, vegetarian, new Thai; curries, seafood, noodles, soups. Low-sodium, gluten-free, too. $$$ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun. TEQUILA’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 101, 363-1365, tequilasjacksonville.com. F New place has authentic Mexican fare, made daily with fresh ingredients. Vegetarian dishes; daily drink specials. Nonstop happy hour. $$ FB L D Daily THE WELL WATERING HOLE, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9, 737-7740, thewellwateringhole.com. Local craft beers, wines by the glass or bottle, champagne cocktails. Meatloaf sandwiches, pulled Peruvian chicken, homestyle vegan black bean burgers. $$ BW K TO D Tue.-Sat. WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows, Ste. 135, 634-7208, whiskeyjax.com. New gastropub has craft beers, burgers, handhelds, tacos, whiskey. $$ FB L D Sat. & Sun.; D Daily.
BEACHES
DINING DIRECTORY
(Locations are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)
AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0002, alspizza.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. New York-style, gourmet pizzas, baked dishes. All-day happy hour Mon.Thur. $ FB K TO L D Daily ANGIE’S SUBS, 1436 Beach Blvd., 246-2519. ANGIE’S GROM, 204 Third Ave. S., 246-7823. F 2015 BOJ winner. Subs made with fresh ingredients for more than 25 years. One word: Peruvian. Huge salads, blue-ribbon iced tea. $ BW TO L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 2400 S. Third St., Ste. 201. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. ESPETO BRAZILIAN STEAKHOUSE, 1396 Beach Blvd., 388-4884, espetosteakhouse.com. Just relocated, serving beef, pork, lamb, chicken, sausage; full menu, bar fare, craft cocktails, Brazilian beers. $$ FB D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & TEQUILA BAR, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 F 2015 BOJ winner. Latin American, Southwest tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana sandwiches. 100-plus tequilas. $ FB L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 657 Third St. N., 247-9620. F SEE ORANGE PARK.
MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 1018 Third St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600, mellowmushroom.com. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. Hoagies, gourmet pizzas: Mighty Meaty, vegetarian, Kosmic Karma. 35 tap beers. Nonstop happy hour. $ FB K TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 1534 Third St. N., 853-6817. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MEZZA RESTAURANT & BAR, 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573, mezzarestaurantandbar.com. F Near-theocean spot, 20-plus years. Casual bistro fare: gourmet wood-fired pizzas, nightly specials. Dine inside, on patio. $$$ FB K D Mon.-Sat. MOJO KITCHEN BBQ Pit, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636, mojobbq.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Pulled pork, beef, chicken, Carolina-style barbecue, Delta fried catfish, sides. $$ FB K TO L D Daily NIPPERS BEACH GRILLE, 2309 Beach Blvd., 247-3300, nippersbeachgrille.com. The chef-driven Southern coastal cuisine has local fare and dishes with a Caribbean flavor, served in an island atmosphere on the ICW. Dine inside or on Tiki deck. $$ FB K L D Wed.-Sun.; D Mon. & Tue. POE’S TAVERN, 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7637. Gastropub, 50-plus beers, gourmet hamburgers, ground in-house, hand-cut French fries, fish tacos, Edgar’s
subs (3 Wise Guys, Champ), burgers, gyros, breakfast bowls, ranchero wrap, vegetarian dishes. $ K TO B L Mon.-Fri. THE CANDY APPLE CAFÉ & COCKTAILS, 400 N. Hogan St., 353-9717, thecandyapplecafe.com. Sandwiches, entrées, salads. $$ FB K L, Mon.; L D Tue.-Sun. CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth St., 356-8282. F Chef Sam Hamidi has been serving genuine Italian fare for 35-plus years: veal, seafood, gourmet pizza. The homemade salad dressing is a specialty. $ BW K L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. OLIO MARKET, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket. com. F From-scratch soups, sandwiches. Duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L Mon.-Fri. SWEET PETE’S, 400 N. Hogan St., 376-7161. F All-natural sweet shop has candy made of all natural flavors, no artificial anything. Several kinds of honey. $ TO Daily ZODIAC BAR & GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283, thezodiacbarandgrill.com. Mediterranean cuisine, American fare, paninis, vegetarian dishes. Daily lunch buffet. Espressos, hookahs. Happy hour Wed.-Sat. $ FB L Mon.-Fri.
FLEMING ISLAND
GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 1915 East-West Parkway, 541-0009. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.
MOJO SMOKEHOUSE, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteys fishcamp.com. F Real fish camp. Gator tail, freshwater catfish, daily specials, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar. Come by boat, bike or car. $ FB K TO L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly
INTRACOASTAL WEST
AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. DICK’S WINGS, 14286 Beach Blvd., 223-0115. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. LARRY’S SUBS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980. F SEE ORANGE PARK. TIME OUT SPORTS GRILL, 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5, 223-6999, timeoutsportsgrill.com. F Locally-ownedand-operated. Hand-tossed pizzas, wings, wraps. Daily drink specials, HDTVs, pool tables. Late-nite menu. $$ FB L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly
GRILL ME!
CHRIS PROULX Aviles Restaurant, Hilton Historic Bayfront 32 Avenida Menendez, St. Augustine BIRTHPLACE: Orlando
YEARS IN THE BIZ: 30
FAVORITE RESTAURANT (other than mine): Beach Diner, Atlantic Beach BEST CUISINE STYLE: Floribbean, Creole, Asian GO-TO INGREDIENTS: Ginger, lemongrass, garlic IDEAL MEAL: Anything from Pacific Asian Bistro in Palencia WON’T CROSS MY LIPS: Preserved Filipino duck eggs INSIDER’S SECRET: The real world is not like culinary school. CELEBRITY SIGHTING HERE: Ivan Rodriguez, Stevie Nicks CULINARY TREAT: Carmelos Pizza, St. Augustine
Drunken Chili, daily fish sandwich special. $$ FB K L D Daily RAGTIME TAVERN & SEAFOOD GRILL, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F For 30-plus years, iconic seafood place has served blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily happy hour. $$ FB L D Daily SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 1018 Third St. N., 372-4456, saltlifefoodshack.com. Specialty items: signature tuna poke bowl, fresh sushi, Ensenada tacos, local fried shrimp, in modern open-air space. $$ FB K TO L D Daily SLIDERS SEAFOOD GRILLE & OYSTER BAR, 218 First St., Neptune Beach, 246-0881, slidersseafoodgrille.com. Beach-casual spot. Faves: Fresh fish tacos, gumbo. Key lime pie, ice cream sandwiches. $$ FB K L Sat. & Sun.; D Nightly SNEAKERS SPORTS GRILLE, 111 Beach Blvd., 482-1000, sneakerssportsgrille.com. 2015 BOJ winner. 20-plus tap beers, TVs, sporty waitstaff. Happy hour Mon.-Fri. $ FB K L D Daily SURFING SOMBRERO, 222 First St. N., 834-9377. New oceanfront place serves authentic fare – like paella. Drink specials. Dine in or outside. $$ FB L D Daily SURFWICHES SANDWICH SHOP, 1537 Penman Rd., 241-6996, surfwiches.com. New craft sandwich shop boasts Yankee-style steaks and hoagies, all made to order. $ BW TO K L D Daily
DOWNTOWN
AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 21 W. Church St., 665-7324, akelsdeli.com. F New York-style deli offers freshly made
MANDARIN, NW ST. JOHNS
AKEL’S DELI, 12926 Gran Bay Pkwy. W., 880-2008. F SEE DOWNTOWN.
AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199. F Dolmades (stuffed grape leaves), baby shoes (stuffed eggplant). Greek beers. $$ BW L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 10391 Old St. Augustine Rd., 880-7087. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. FIRST COAST DELI & GRILL, 6082 St. Augustine Rd., 733-7477. Traditional diner fare: oversized pancakes and bacon, sandwiches, salads and burgers. $ K TO B L Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 11365 San Jose Blvd., 674-2945. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. F Organic soups, sandwiches, wraps, baked goods, prepared foods. Juice, smoothie and coffee bar. All-natural, organic beers, wines. Indoor, outdoor dining. $ BW TO K B L D Daily THE RED ELEPHANT PIZZA & GRILL, 10131 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 12, 683-3773, redelephantpizza.com. Casual, family-friendly eatery. Pizzas, sandwiches, grill specials, burgers, pasta, plus gluten-free-friendly items. $ FB K L D Daily
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DINING DIRECTORY ORANGE PARK
DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 6055 Youngerman Cir., 778-1101, dickswingsandgrill.com. 1803 East West Parkway, Fleming Island, 375-2559. 2015 BOJ winner. This NASCAR-themed restaurant serves 365 varieties of wings. The menu also features half-pound burgers, ribs and salads. $ FB K TO L D Daily THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959, hilltop-club. com. Southern-style fine dining. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. Extensive bourbon selection. $$$ FB D Tue.-Sat. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 15, 272-3553. 5733 Roosevelt Blvd., 446-9500. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove, 284-7789, larryssubs.com. F All over Northeast Florida, Larry’s piles ’em high and serves ’em fast; 33+ years. Hot and cold subs, soups, salads. Some Larry’s serve breakfast. $ K TO B L D Daily METRO DINER, 2034 Kingsley Ave., 375-8548. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. SNACSHACK, 179 College Dr., Ste. 19, 682-7622, snac shack.menu. F The new bakery and café offers bagels, muffins, breads, cookies, brownies and snack treats. $$ K BW TO B, L & D Daily
PONTE VEDRA BEACH
MOSSFIRE GRILL, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434, mossfire. com. F Southwestern fish tacos, enchiladas. Happy hour Mon.-Sat. upstairs lounge, all day Sun. $$ FB K L D Daily O’BROTHERS IRISH PUB, 1521 Margaret St., 854-9300, obrothersirishpub.com. F Traditional shepherd’s pie with Stilton crust, Guinness mac-n-cheese, fish-n-chips. Patio dining. $$ FB K TO L D Daily PATTAYA Thai Grille, 1526 King, 503-4060. SEE BAYMEADOWS. rain dogs, 1045 Park St., 379-4969. 2015 BOJ winner. Bar food. $ D SOUTHERN ROOTS FILLING STATION, 1275 King St., 513-4726, southernrootsjax.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Healthy, light vegan fare made fresh daily with local, organic ingredients. Specials, served on bread, local greens or rice, change daily. Coffees, teas. $ Tue.-Sun. SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside Ave., Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushicafejacksonville.com. F Monster Roll, Jimmy Smith Roll; faves Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll. Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. Indoor or patio. $$ BW L D Daily
ST. AUGUSTINE
AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. CARMELO’S MARKETPLACE & PIZZERIA, 146 King St., 494-6658, carmelosmarketplace.com. New York-style
brick-oven-baked pizza, freshly baked sub rolls, Boar’s Head meats and cheeses, stromboli and garlic herb wings. Outdoor seating, Wi-Fi. $$ BW TO L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 965 S.R. 16, 825-4540. 4010 U.S. 1 S., 547-2669. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. THE FLORIDIAN, 39 Cordova St., 829-0655, thefloridian staug.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Updated Southern fare of fresh ingredients. Vegetarian, gluten-free. Fried green tomato bruschetta, grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D Wed.-Mon. GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F Local mainstay 25+ years. Varied menu changes twice daily. Signature dish: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. Sun. brunch. $$ FB R Sun.; L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. METRO DINER, 1000 S. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 758-3323. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO OLD CITY BBQ, 5 Cordova St., 342-5264. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. ONE TWENTY THREE BURGER HOUSE, 123 King St., 687-2790. New spot from owners of Carmelo’s down the street. Premium burgers, made with beef sourced from renowned NYC butcher Schweid & Sons. Wood-fired pizzas, ice cream bar with Old World milkshakes. Outdoor dining. $$ BW K TO L D Daily
AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A N., 543-1494. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.
BITE-SIZED
DICK’S Wings, 100 Marketside Ave., 829-8134, dickswings andgrill.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. LARRY’S SUBS, 830 A1A N., 273-3993. F SEE ORANGE PARK.
RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE
32 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 28-NOVEMBER 3, 2015
ON TAPA THE OLD WORLD
photo by Rebecca Gibson
13 GYPSIES, 887 Stockton St., 389-0330, 13gypsies. com. 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic Mediterranean peasant cuisine updated for American tastes; tapas, blackened octopus, risotto of the day, coconut mango curry chicken. $$ BW L D Tue.-Sat. AKEL’S Deli, 245 Riverside Ave., 791-3336. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., 388-8384. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. BLACK SHEEP RESTAURANT, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, blacksheep5points.com. New American with a Southern twist; locally sourced ingredients. Rooftop bar. $$$ FB R Sat. & Sun.; L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 869 Stockton St., Stes. 1 & 2, 855-1181. F 2015 BOJ winner. Small-batch, artisanal coffee roasting. Organic, fair trade. $ BW TO B L Daily BREW FIVE POINTS, 1024 Park St., 714-3402, brewfive points.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Local craft beer, espresso, coffee and wine bar. Rotating drafts, 75+ canned craft beers; sodas, tea. Rotating seasonal menu of waffles, pastries, toasts, desserts to pair with specialty coffees, craft beers. $$ BW K B L Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412, cornertaco.com. Made-from-scratch “Mexclectic street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free, vegetarian options. $ BW L D Daily. DERBY ON PARK, 1068 Park St., 379-3343. New American cuisine, upscale retro atmosphere in historic landmark building. Shrimp & grits, lobster bites, 10-oz. gourmet burger. Dine inside or out. $$ FB TO Wknd brunch. B, L D Tue.-Sun. EDGEWOOD BAKERY, 1012 S. Edgewood Ave., Murray Hill, 389-8054, edgewoodbakery.com. For 68+ years, full-service bakery has served fresh from-scratch pastries, petit fours, pies, custom cakes. Espresso/pastry café has sandwiches, smoothies, soups. $$ K TO B L Tue.-Sat. EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 2753 Park St., 384-9999. 2015 BOJ winner. 130-plus imported beers, 20 on tap. NYC-style Reuben, sandwiches. Outside dining at some EStreets. $ BW K L D Daily GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 2007 Park St., 3844474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Juice bar; certified organic fruits, vegetables. 300-plus craft/ import beers, 50 wines, produce, humanely raised meats, deli, raw items, vegan, vitamins. Wraps, sandwiches. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS ASIAN STREET FARE, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic dishes from mobile stalls. $ BW TO L D Daily JOHNNY’S DELI & GRILLE, 474 Riverside Ave., 356-8055. F Casual spot; sandwiches, classic salads, homefries. One word: Reuben. $ TO B L Daily KNEAD BAKESHOP, 1173 Edgewood Ave. S., 634-7617 Locally-owned, family-run shop; made-from-scratch pastries, artisan breads, pies, sandwiches, soups. $ TO B L Tue.-Sun. LARRY’S SUBS, 1509 Margaret St., 674-2794. 7895 Normandy Blvd., 781-7600. 8102 Blanding Blvd., 7791933. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., 999-4600. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MONROE’S SMOKEHOUSE BAR-B-Q, 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551, monroessmokehousebbq.com. Wings, pulled pork, brisket, turkey, chicken, ribs. Sides: beans, baked beans, mac-n-cheese, collards. $$ K TO L Mon.-Sat.; D Fri. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE AMELIA ISLAND.
A touch of SPAIN in Springfield
lifetime; needless to say, he’s perfected the art. So, naturally, I didn’t order paella. Just kidding. I ordered the Paella de la Casa, available in portion sizes for two all the way up to eight. All paellas SPRINGFIELD IS BUDDING WITH NEW LIFE, are served with a salad tossed in house balsamic, from the recently remodeled historic homes to the something to munch on while waiting for the ever-expanding dining scene. TAPAS OLD WORLD, paella. Fair warning: The wait was long, though I which opened just this last May, is close to the could see why when our meal arrived. The Paella center of the neighborhood’s historic district. The de la Casa for two ($35) could feed a small army. restaurant’s Main Street spot might not be as old The giant pan of yellow saffron rice includes as Tapas’ recipes, but it’s a nice fit for cuisine chicken, plus half the ocean: calamari, clams, with such historical roots. Tapas’ cinnamon-hued shrimp, mussels, scallops, crab, and octopus. building stands with its door wide open, a friendly Lemons and red peppers garnished the dish. The gesture by an owner equally as welcoming. Nadege rice itself was my favorite part. It’s moist and Nicol, originally from Costa Rica, serves primarily flavorful, and tastes delicious even absent any of European-inspired food, with hints of ancient the paella’s other proteins. Madrid and the Mediterranean. These flavors Tapas’ paella surprised originate, in part, from Miguel, me with each rich bite. After Nadege’s husband and Tapas’ TAPAS OLD WORLD consuming half the pan, my cook. The stone pillars and the WATTS JUICERY friend and I were so stuffed, map of Spain on the wall, to BAR & RESTAURANT 1010-B Third St. N., Jax Beach, we had to box up the rest. which Miguel might gesture as 1417 N. Main St., Springfi eld, 372-0693, wattsjuicery.com Nadege says the paella tastes he talks about his upbringing, are 379-7850 even better the second day. I’m solid clues. Miguel grew up in excited to find out. Spain, and has since developed It’s hard to say no to a chocolate cake whose a relationship with its royal family. When in Madrid, ingredients include hazelnuts and ganache. Old you meet royalty, apparently. World’s chocolate cake ($7) is certainly big enough My friend and I nibbled on Tapas’ fresh bread for two, though it’s rather diffi cult to share. The while listening to the tales spun by the cheerful slab is an excellent choice for chocolate-lovers, Miguel, who moved to America 25 years ago. with drizzles of cream and chocolate, plus Miguel took a few detours before he settled on strawberries on the side so we indulgent types Jacksonville. He jumped around the lower 48 can pretend we’re eating something good for us, states, made Jax his home, then St. Augustine, and gastronomically rather than spiritually. now he’s back up here again. Miguel might make some delicious paella, but Miguel was drawn to the culture of Jacksonville, he gives all the credit to his wife. “Her skill and which he says he finds educated and tasteful. He’s passion in the kitchen make the restaurant a good excited about the growth that’s happened since his experience for all,” he says. Awwww, what a guy! first residency in Jacksonville. “I never would have opened a restaurant in Springfield 20 years ago,” Rebecca Gibson he says. “Now, I live in Springfield.” mail@folioweekly.com _______________________________________ Miguel says his favorite menu item at Tapas
BITE SIZED
Old World is the paella. He is quite certain he’s cooked more than 10,000 paellas over his
Follow all of Rebecca’s dining adventures and more at somewhereinthecityjax.com
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DINING DIRECTORY CHAMBLIN'S UPTOWN is where downtown denizens turn for great coffee, a fresh breakfast and lunch with a vegan flair. Photo by Dennis Ho
SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 321 A1A Beach Blvd., 217-3256, saltlifefoodshack.com. SEE BEACHES.
SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK
BASIL THAI & SUSHI, 1004 Hendricks Ave., 674-0190, basilthaijax.com. F Authentic Thai dishes include Pad Thai, a variety of curries, tempuras, vegetarian dishes, seafood, stir-fry and daily specials. $$ FB L D Mon.-Sat. BISTRO AIX, 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox. com. F Mediterranean/French inspired cuisine; steak frites, oak-fired pizza, new raw bar of seasonal selections. $$$ FB TO L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 1610 University Blvd. W., 448-2110. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. EUROPEAN STREET Café, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 3989500. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. $ BW K L D Daily FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusionsushijax.com. F Upscale sushi spot serves a variety of fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu. $$ K L D Daily THE GROTTO WINE & TAPAS BAR, 2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726. F Artisanal cheese plates, empanadas, bruschetta, cheesecake. 60-plus wines by the glass. $$$ BW Tue.-Sun. HAMBURGER MARY’S Bar & Grille, 3333 Beach Blvd., Ste. 1, 551-2048, hamburgermarys.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Wings, sammies, nachos, entrées, specialty drinks, burgers. $$ K TO FB L D Daily KITCHEN ON SAN MARCO, 1402 San Marco Blvd., 396-2344, kitchenonsanmarco.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Gastropub. Local and national craft beers, specialty cocktails, seasonal menu of fresh, locally sourced ingredients. Sunday brunch. $$ FB L D Daily MEZZE BAR & GRILL, 2016 Hendricks Ave., 683-0693, mezzejax.com. Classic cocktails, fresh basil martinis, 35 draft beers, local/craft brews, Mediterranean cuisine. Hookah patio. Happy hour. $$ FB D Daily METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metro diner.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. The original upscale diner. Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, soups. $$ B R L Daily MOJO BAR-B-QUE, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. PIZZA PALACE, 1959 San Marco Ave., 399-8815, pizza palacejax.com. F Family-owned; spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, lasagna. Outside dining. $$ BW K TO L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco Ave., 398-3005, taverna sanmarco.com. Chef Sam Efron’s authentic Italian; local produce, meats. Craft beers, craft cocktails. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily
SOUTHSIDE, TINSELTOWN
34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 28-NOVEMBER 3, 2015
ALHAMBRA THEATRE & DINING, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. USA’s longest-running dinner
theater; Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus. Reservations. $$ FB D Tue.-Sun. BARBERITOS, 4320 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., Ste. 106, 807-9060. F SEE AMELIA ISLAND. DANCIN DRAGON, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138D, 363-9888. BOGO lunches, Asian fusion menu. $$ FB K L D Daily DICK’S WINGS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., 619-0954. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. THE DIM SUM ROOM, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138D, 363-9888, thedimsumroom.com. Shrimp dumplings, beef tripe, sesame ball. Traditional Hong Kong noodles, barbecue. $ FB K L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F SEE ORANGE PARK.
MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MONROE’S SMOKEHOUSE BAR B-Q, 10771 Beach Blvd., 996-7900, monroessmokehousebbq.com. SEE RIVERSIDE. OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr., 900-7730, ovinte. com. 2015 BOJ winner. European-style dining influenced by Italy, Spain and the Mediterranean. Small plates, entréesize portions, selections from charcuterie menu. $$$ BW TO R D Daily TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Ct., 854-0426, tavernayamas.com. F Bite Club. Char-broiled kabobs, seafood, wines, desserts. Belly dancing. $$ FB K L D Daily
SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE
DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 12400 Yellow Bluff Rd., Ste. 101, 619-9828. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. HOLA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1001 N. Main St., 356-3100, holamexicanrestaurant.com. F Fajitas, burritos, enchiladas, daily specials. Happy hour; sangria. $ BW K TO L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 12001 Lem Turner Rd., 764-9999. SEE ORANGE PARK.
To get your restaurant listed in our Dining Directory, call your account manager or Sam Taylor at 904.260.9770 ext. 111 or staylor@folioweekly.com.
DINING DIRECTORY KEY
Average Entrée Cost $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW=Beer/Wine FB=Full Bar K=Kids’ Menu TO=Take Out B=Breakfast R=Brunch L=Lunch D=Dinner Bite Club = Hosted free FW Bite Club tasting. To join, go to fwbiteclub.com. 2014 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot
LOOKIN’ FOR LOVE FOLIO
W E E K LY
FOLIO LIVING
PET
LOVERS’
GUIDE
DEAR DAVI
HOWL AT THE MOON THIS IS FOR ALL MY DOGS OUT THERE (HUMANS, you should read this, too): Tricky treats and dangerous streets make Halloween a scary night for most pets. Bone up on these safety tips to keep your celebration spook-free. TRICKY TREATS: Ooh, candy! You might be tempted by those human treats in shiny wrappers. Rule of thumb: Candy is harmful, especially chocolate. Stay away. My veterinarian, Dr. Charles Athey, knows best. “Candy should never intentionally be fed to a pet. It often contains toxic substances from artificial sweeteners and packaging that cannot be digested.” If you suspect you’ve eaten something toxic, throw it up – a small dose of hydrogen peroxide will do the trick – or have your human call the vet immediately. KEEP HALLOWEEN HAPPENINGS ON THE DOWNLOW: Ringing doorbells and creepy costumes can send any pooch into a frenzy. If you are skittish, nippy, or overexcited by strangely dressed visitors, step back from the front door and find a quiet place away from the action. My safe place is on a comfy pillow watching “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” and eating sweet potato treats. PREVENT DOOR-DASHING: A cracked door looks like a great escape route for a rattled pup, but it can be dangerous, so keep your distance. And wear your ID in case you get startled and dart out the door. Chances are, a friendly ghost will bring you home. BE BRIGHT TO AVOID A FRIGHT: Ghouls and goblins roam the streets, so make sure you are visible. Dr. Athey agrees. “If you take your dog
on a walk, use a reflective leash and harness or reflective tape that’s visible.” BE CAUTIOUS WITH COSTUMES: You might want to dress up for Halloween. My mom wants to dress me like a candy corn dog, even though I prefer my birthday suit. Be sure to choose a costume that’s comfortable and lets you breathe, bark and see. And beware of small dangling pieces you can chew or swallow. STEER CLEAR OF DANGEROUS DECORATIONS: Take heed. Jack-O-Lanterns with candles can be a nightmare when knocked over by a wagging tail. Glo-sticks look fun to chew, but the liquid inside tastes really bad and makes you act strange. Be wary of wires and cords plugged into walls. One bite could cause a burn or even worse: a lifethreatening shock. If you sniff out these dangers and play it safe, Halloween can be a howling good time for all. Davi mail@folioweekly.com _____________________________________ Davi is a brown dachshund with an appetite for adventure. He loves sweet potato treats, playing at the park with friends, and exploring the unknown.
BEASTS OF BURDEN: PET TIP OF THE WEEK ONCE BITTEN, TWICE SHY In the fall, snakes are typically preparing for hibernation, according to the ASPCA. For those whose front or back yards feature potential living quarters for snakes, it’s recommended that you keep on extra-close watch to prevent your pups from ending up on the wrong end of a particularly onerous ophidian.
U P C O M I N G POOCHIE’S SWIM & PLAY PARK The dog park, spa and day camp holds its annual Halloween costume party 7 a.m.-7 p.m. Oct. 28 at 21 Fountain Dr., Orange Park, 272-4545, poochiespark.com. The staff will dress up the daycamp dogs but feel free to bring your pet’s favorite. Each pup goes home with a treat bag. SIT, STAY AND RELAX The St. Augustine Humane Society holds a fundraiser 5:30-8:30 p.m. Nov. 12 at Creekside Dinery, 160 Nix Boat Yard Rd., St. Augustine. A Low Country buffet dinner and live music by The Falling Bones are featured. Tickets are $25. It’s also the debut of the 2015 Pin Up Paws annual calendar, featuring pets posed where they probably shouldn’t be – on forbidden chair, accessorized according to breed and period of furniture. The calendars are $10 a pop; proceeds
P E T
E V E N T S
SAHS programs. 829-2737, staughumane.org. ANIMAL RESCUE/ADOPTION There are groups organized for the rescue and eventual adoption of all kinds of animals – collies and shelties, corgis, westies, greyhounds, bassets, dachshunds, German Shepherds, Golden retrievers, cats, birds, poodles, akitas, big dogs, small dogs and toy breeds, rabbits, huskies, mastiffs, old dogs, the much-maligned pit bulls, shih tzus, reptiles – the folks involved in these groups are rabid … oops, not rabid rabid … very enthusiastic about the wellbeing of their particular breed or genus of animal, and most all animals in general. One website that’s a starting point is jaxanimals.com. Others to go to include jaxhumanesociety.org, nassauhumanesociety. com, starsofamelia.org, clayhumane.org, petrescue. org, sjcfl.us/animalcontrol/petcenter.aspx and staugustinehumanesociety.org.
To see your pet event here, send event name, time, date, location with complete street address and city, admission price, contact number/website to print, to mdryden@folioweekly.com – at least two weeks before the event.
OCTOBER 28-NOVEMBER 3, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35
FREEWILL ASTROLOGY
SPRINGBOKS, KAMA SUTRA, BEANSTALKS & DR. WHO ARIES (March 21-April 19): On a January morning in 1943, the town of Spearfish, South Dakota had very weird weather. At 7:30 a.m., the temperature was minus 4 degrees Fahrenheit. In the next two minutes, due to an unusual type of wind sweeping down over nearby Lookout Mountain, thermometers shot up 49 degrees. Over the next hour and a half, the air grew even warmer. But by 9:30, the temperature had plummeted back to minus 4 degrees. Will your moods might swing this much in the weeks ahead? As long as you remember no single feeling is likely to last too long, it won’t be a problem. You may even enjoy the breathtaking ebbs and flows. Halloween costume suggestion: roller coaster rider, Jekyll and Hyde, warm clothes on one side, and shorts or bathing suit on the other. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): How dare you be so magnetic and tempting? What were you thinking when you turned up your charm’s intensity so high? Consider exercising more caution about expressing your radiance. People may have other things to do besides daydream about you. If you really can’t be a little less attractive – if you absolutely refuse to tone it down – at least be kind and generous. Share your emotional wealth. Overflow with more than your usual allotments of blessings. Halloween costume suggestion: shamanic Santa Claus; witchy Easter Bunny. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In the last 10 days of November and all of December, there will be wild-card interludes when you can enjoy smart gambles, daring stunts, cute tricks, and mythic escapades. The next three weeks won’t be like that. On the contrary. For the immediate future, be an upstanding citizen, well-behaved helper, and dutiful truth-teller. Can you handle that? If so, you get sneak peaks of fun, productive mischief that may be yours in the last six weeks of 2015. Halloween costume suggestion: the most normal person in the world. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Members of the gazelle species springbok periodically engage in a behavior called pronking. They leap into the air and propel themselves a great distance, with all four feet in the air, bounding with abandon. What evolutionary purpose does this serve? Some scientists are puzzled, but not naturalist David Attenborough. In the documentary Africa, he follows a springbok herd as it wanders through the desert for months, seeking a rare rainstorm. Finally it rains. As if in celebration, the springboks erupt in a pronking frenzy. “They’re dancing for joy,” Attenborough declares. Given lucky breaks and creative breakthroughs heading your way, I see you doing something similar. Halloween costume ideas: pronking gazelle, hippety-hopping bunny, boisterous baby goat. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “A very little key will open a very heavy door,” wrote Charles Dickens in his short story Hunted Down. Make that a guiding meditations in the days ahead. In the back of your mind, visualize a little key opening a heavy door. That will help you be alert when clues about the real key’s location become available. You’ll have a keen intuitive sense of how to respond if you want to procure it. Halloween costume suggestion: proud, protective possessor of a magic key. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The ancient Hindu text, the Kama Sutra, gives extensive advice about many subjects, including love and sex. “Though a man loves a woman ever so much,” reads a passage in chapter four, “he never succeeds in winning her without a great deal of talking.” That’s your cue. In the weeks ahead, stir up the intimacy you want with lots of incisive talking to
beguile and entertain. Use the same approach to round up any other experience you yearn for. The way you play with language will be crucial in the efforts to fulfill wishes. Your persuasive powers to be even greater than usual. Halloween costume idea: ultimate salesperson. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Be super rhythmical and melodious in the next few days. Don’t just sing in the shower and the car. Hum, warble and whistle while shopping for vegetables, washing dishes and walking the dog. Allot yourself more than enough time to shimmy and cavort, not just on the dance floor but anywhere else you can get away with it. For extra credit, experiment with lyrical flourishes when you’re in bed. Halloween costume suggestion: wandering troubadour, street musician, free-styling rapper, operatic diva, medicine woman healing with sound. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): I expect you to be in a state of continual birth for the next four weeks. Awakening and activation come naturally. Your drive to blossom and create may be irresistible, bordering on unruly. Does that sound overwhelming? Shouldn’t be a problem as long as you cultivate a mood of amazed amusement about how strong it feels. To maintain your poise, remember your growth spurt is a natural response to the dissolution that preceded it. Halloween costume ideas: fountain, erupting volcano, growing beanstalk from the “Jack and the Beanstalk” fairy tale. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “Just as a snake sheds its skin, we must shed our past over and over again,” says Buddhist teacher Jack Kornfield. Why am I telling you this? It’s one of those times when you can do yourself a big favor by sloughing off stale, worn-out, decaying parts of your past. You now have an extraordinary talent for that. You will receive unexpected help and surprising grace. Halloween costume suggestion: snake molting its skin. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Speaking on behalf of your wild mind, you’re due for an immersion in revelry and festivity. Plugging away at business as usual could become counterproductive unless you take brief excursions to the frontiers of pleasure. High integrity may become sterile unless you expose it to an unpredictable adventure or two. Halloween costume suggestion: party animal, hell raiser, social butterfly, god or goddess of delight. Every one of us harbors a touch of crazy genius that periodically needs to be unleashed, and now is your time. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I hope you chose a Halloween costume that emboldens you to feel powerful. For the next three weeks, it’s in your long-term interest to invoke a visceral sense of potency, dominion, and sovereignty. What clothes and trappings might stimulate these qualities? Those of a king or queen? A rock star or CEO? A fairy godmother, superhero, or dragon-tamer? Only you know which archetypal persona will help stir your untapped reserves of confidence and command. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Time to stretch boundaries. You have license to expand containers, outgrow expectations and wage rebellion for the fun of it. The frontiers are calling. Your enmeshment in small talk and attachment to trivial wishes are hereby suspended. Your mind yearns to be blown. I dare you to wander outside your overly safe haven and go in quest of provocative curiosities. Halloween costume suggestions: mad scientist, wild-eyed revolutionary, Dr. Who. Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com
36 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 28-NOVEMBER 3, 2015
OK, no more Ms. Nice Copy Editor. The word limit is FORTY (40).
Many of you send ISUs with waaaay more than that, and we cut ’em down. If they lose vital info for you to connect with the target, so be it. It’s your own damn fault. Who’d hook up with a dork who can’t even count? MOM WANTS YOU Daughter and I outside Lynch’s. You: LEO on bicycle, handsome, great calves! Later, dealt with Walgreens drunk. Little shy … my daughter said to get your attention. Drinks, Super Troopers, Training Day … what’s your speed? When: Oct. 13. Where: Lynch’s Jax Beach. #1567-1028 YOU WAVED BACK GRINNING You: Bad-ass-looking guy, big black truck. Me: Soccermom-looking girl, silver minivan. Waved at you driving on 295-N, played a little cat-and-mouse, you got off on I-95-S. Let me prove looks can be deceiving. When: Oct. 3, 7-ish. Where: 295 North. #1566-1021 NOTHING MATTERS Self-hypnosis can’t stop me thinking from of you. No matter where I go and what I do, I still remember those beautiful eyes and the way my heart jumps when I see you. When: Oct. 6. Where: Luigi’s Pizza. #1565-1014 HOT MINI DRIVER You: Getting in red Mini near SunRay, hot white-rimmed glasses. Drake blasting from your car as you almost hit in crosswalk; gave me a thumbs-up. Me: Tall skater nerd, Donuts For Jesus shirt. You Let’s hang out. When: Sept. 29. Where: Five Points. #1564-1014 TALL, DARK, HANDSOME, PATRIOTS FAN Jags/Pats game. You: Pats shirt, jeans; with friends by bus watching game. Me: Short wavy auburn hair, Jags tank, cut-offs. Locked eyes as I went to sit. Heart skipped a beat at your handsomeness. Drinks on me, celebrate your win? :) When: Sept. 27. Where: Mellow Mushroom Jax Beach. #1563-0930 BOWL ME OVER Me: In the mood to be pinned. You: Lakers jersey. Bowling but said you’d rather play video games. Said you’re about to take a trip into Asia. Can we bowl balls together in Asia? When: Sept. 25. Where: Jax Lanes. #1564-0930 HUNGER GAMES Hungry and got hungrier when you entered. Told me you were going east to eat genuine Asian. Wanted to talk more but you had to go because your cousin, Jimmy, owed you a quarter. Let’s eat out together? When: Sept. 14. Where: China Wok. #1562-0923 NICE SMILE You: Brown hair, thin bearded guy, nice smile, bright eyes, blue “Good” sneaker T-shirt, with friends. Me: Short, thin brunette, blue/white tank, table across yours. Caught your eye, smiled. Like to know you better. Grab a drink? When: Sept. 11. Where: World of Beer Southside. #1561-0916 ECLIPSE RIVERSIDE 9/11 Super-cute brunette, ’80s night, black romper, white sandals. With group. Me: Solo; noticed matching outfit friend telling you to ask me to dance. Wanted to approach. Group left. Second chance? I’d dance the night away with you. When: Sept. 11. Where: Eclipse Riverside. #1560-0916 FIRE BUG I saw you, late night on a Friday. You were on fire, so hot. Couldn’t tell if it was your flaming personality or that fl aming staff. Night dives, long chats, but why you didn’t you ever text me? When: Sept. 4. Where: Beach. #1559-0916 YOU WALKED IN TATTOO SHOWIN’ ISU: Black leggings, open shirt, chest tat, soft voice, boots, hopeful eyes, smooth skin. You said black don’t crack. Love to have
good time with you; you said futile; keep trying. Sorry about bad night. When: Sept. 4. Where: Parental Home Road. #1558-0916 BLUE ORBS You: Jean shorts, blonde hair, biggest blue eyes I’ve ever seen. I swear they glowed; when I fi rst saw you, lights in the place went dim. Can’t remember shirt color; just passing through, mesmerized by your eyes. When: Sept. 2. Where: Bold Bean Riverside. #1557-0909 YOU LEFT ME … SPEECHLESS The Prince Party. Your purple face stopped my heart. Wanna see your moves, your lights, every night. Let’s meet again: you, me and Prince. We can be silent together. When: Aug. 28. Where: 1904 Music Hall. #1556-0909 60-YEAR-OLD HIPPIE CHICK You still believe in those 60s values, modern technology, bikinis, no money worries, meditation, humanism, being groovy. Me: Bearded, beyond cool beach bum. Us. Why wait? Let’s fall in love, live at beach. Anything’s possible. When: Aug. 20. Where: Mickler’s Landing. #1555-0909 NATURE’S OWN BY MY OWN! You: Tall, handsome Nature’s Own truck driver delivering bread to Burger King; most beautiful guy I’ve ever seen! Me: Ordering drive-thru breakfast. You smiled at me, our eyes met. Let’s meet 6:15p Sept. 5 @ BK. When: Aug. 29. Where: BK, Blanding/Kingsley. #1554-0902 EVERY SUPERWOMAN NEEDS A SUPERMAN You: Tall, dark, collared shirt buttoned to top, shorts, Jordans, drink, surrounded by ratchets. Me: Average height, slim, slacks, blouse, hair in bun, lured by lightskin man (insider); chose one another instead. 1 year, counting. Love you! When: April 30, 2014. Where: Jim’s Place. #1553-0902 TALL, DRUNK AND HANDSOME You: Hanging out in a sleeveless Budweiser shirt. I like your shitty leg tattoos. Me: Overgrown Mohawk and too many hooker shots. Bake me some bread and get pretty with me. When: June. Where: Your lap, Birdies. #1552-0902 I FOUND YOUR RENTAL CAR CARD ISU sitting with your family; you’re so good-looking I needed to keep something to remember you by. I took your rental car company frequent renter card. I’ll probably add lots of miles to account. When: Aug. 12. Where: Mellow Mushroom. #1551-0902 CAN’T STAND THE HEAT! You made me turkey/cheese sandwich; could listen to Philly accent all night! You loved my dimple; looked as I walked away. Committed to show you how hot a kitchen can get with spicy Latina! When: Aug. 12. Where: Hospital cafeteria. #1549-0902 BLIND DATE MOVIE ROMANCE Approaching slowly; tall, dark, handsome chocolate man! Me: Hello, nice to meet you. You: You, too. What’ll we see? Me: No idea; should be interesting! 10 years later, still together! ILY, baby! Your wife. When: 2005. Where: AMC Regency. #1548-0826 SUNNY & DARK You: The most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen. Me: Yearning for you. When you walked by, it took my breath away and the thought still does. Next lifetime! When: Every day. Where: Riverside. #1547-0826 PEAR-SHAPED MAINTENANCE MAN, EQUIPMENT BELT ISU pushing a cart of light bulbs. Me: Big-boned Russian at hallway end. Your slight limp as you walk is sexy; halfcocked smiled made my knees weaken. Please come over and light up my night! When: Aug. 5. Where: Hospital hallway. #1546-0819
CLASSIFIEDS HELP WANTED
ARE YOU AN ENTERTAINER THAT IS LOOKING FOR A CHANGE OF SCENERY? Have you ever thought about becoming an entertainer and have no experience? Are you fun-loving, hard-working, and do you love to be the life of the party? If you answered yes to any of these questions then we want to meet you!!! We are currently seeking a few ladies to add to our daytime team. We are an Upscale Gentlemen’s Club and Restaurant with a long track record of being the best in Jacksonville. We offer a safe, clean and fun environment where our entertainers can earn up to hundreds of dollars each day. To be considered, please send a current face and body pic along with your résumé to us. Gold Club Jax, goldclubjax@gmail.com. PHONE ACTRESSES FROM HOME Must have dedicated land line and great voice. 21+. Up to $18 per hour. Flex HRS./most Wknds. 800-403-7772. Lipservice.net. (AAN CAN) (12-9-15) MAKE $1,000 WEEKLY!! Mailing Brochures from home. Helping home workers since 2001. Genuine opportunity. No experience required. Start immediately. TheWorkingCorner. com. (AAN CAN) (12-2-15)
ADOPTION
PREGNANT? THINKING OF ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with families nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. 866-413-6293. (AAN CAN) (11-4-15)
HEALTH
STRUGGLING WITH DRUGS OR ALCOHOL? Addicted to PILLS? Talk to someone who cares. Call The Addiction Hope & Help Line for a free assessment. 800-978-6674. (10-28-15)
MISCELLANEOUS
DISH TV STARTING AT $19.99/MONTH (FOR 12 MOS.) SAVE! Regular Price $34.99. Ask About FREE SAME DAY Installation! CALL Now! 1-888-992-1957. (AAN CAN) (11-4-15) PERSONAL ASSISTANT Contact: 904-808-8564. Need help? Why not consider hiring a personal assistant? The Holidays
YOUR PORTAL TO REACHING 97,085 READERS WEEKLY
are around the corner, schedule help now. Contact Linda or check out Folio Weekly online for more info. (10-28-15)
YARD SALES
THE CAPE COMMUNITY YARD SALE Contact: sweetrosie@ bellsouth.net. The Cape Community-wide yard sale will be on Friday & Saturday, Nov. 6 & 7, beginning at 8 a.m. each day. Off Starratt Rd. just east of Yellow Bluff Rd., Jacksonville. (11-4-14)
ADULT
FEEL THE VIBE! HOT BLACK CHAT. Urban women and men ready to MAKE THE CONNECTION. Call singles in your area! Try FREE! Call 1-800-305-9164. (AAN CAN) (10-28-15) VIAGRA!! 52 PILLS FOR ONLY $99.00. Your No. 1 trusted provider for 10 years. Insured and Guaranteed Delivery. Call today, 1-877-621-7013. (11-4-15)
FINANCIAL
ARE YOU IN BIG TROUBLE WITH THE IRS? Stop wage & bank levies, liens & audits, unfiled tax returns, payroll issues, & resolve tax debt FAST. Call 844-753-1317. (AAN CAN) (11/25/15)
VEHICLES WANTED
CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or not! Top dollar paid. We come to you! Call for Instant Offer: 1-888-4203808. cash4car.com. (AAN CAN) (12-2-15) A-1 DONATE YOUR CAR FOR BREAST CANCER! Help United Breast Foundation education, prevention and support programs. FAST FREE PICKUP - 24 HR. RESPONSE - TAX DEDUCTION. 855-403-0215. (AAN CAN) (11-4-15)
HOUSING WANTED
ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Lonely? Bored? Broke? Find the perfect roommate to complement your personality and lifestyle at Roommates.com! (2-3-16)
OCTOBER 28-NOVEMBER 3, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37
NEWS OF THE WEIRD
JONESIN’ THE FOLIO WEEKLY CROSSWORD by MATT JONES. Presented by
Overset for the web A DOCTOR AND A LAWYER! PONTE VEDRA SAN MARCO
SOUTHSIDE
AVONDALE
THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA to theAVENUES â&#x20AC;&#x153;Offi ciallyâ&#x20AC;? declaring not subject laws MALL of 2044 SAN MARCO BLVD.oneself 3617 ST. JOHNS AVE. 330 A1A NORTH SOUTHSIDE 398-9741 (i.e., a â&#x20AC;&#x153;sovereignâ&#x20AC;?) 388-5406 any jurisdiction opens10300 a wide range BLVD. 280-1202 394-1390 of career choices. The FBI and Las Vegas police say, in Rick Van Thielâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s case, once his porn industry career(and ended donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t stop solving) (because someone stole his video equipment), he â&#x20AC;&#x153;decided to go into the medical field,â&#x20AC;? becoming â&#x20AC;&#x153;Dr. Rickâ&#x20AC;? with ACROSS 12 Gear for gigs 44 Vulgar 51 of Free Willy creature expertise performing dozens abortions, circumcisions 1 Longtime American 13 Caustic compound 45 Show irritation 53 2008 hit â&#x20AC;&#x153;Paper and castrations, cancer treatments and root canals. Proudly Top 40 host Casey 21 Firefi ghtersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; tools 49 Don Quixoteâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s devil Planesâ&#x20AC;? rapper avoiding actual licensing, Van Thiel promoted â&#x20AC;&#x153;alternativeâ&#x20AC;? 6 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Electric Avenueâ&#x20AC;? 22 Sans ice, at the bar 52 Charge to appear in 55 Chopping weapon remedies, with an offi ce in a Nevada compound of trailers singer Grant a magazine foras Ares or Mars? out of a25 Blade Runner genre one10hesitant â&#x20AC;&#x153;patientâ&#x20AC;? described something Baby horse 54 Serve a purpose 61 One of Three Bears 26 ___ to go (stoked) horror movie. 14 Fuji, e.g. Van Thiel, arrested in October, staunchly 55 Silent greeting 62 Craft some try towatching27 Follow way too defended his ability â&#x20AC;&#x201D; acquired, he said, by 15 Medieval address reverse-engineer, in be acting closely 56 Sitcom in which YouTube medical videos. Bonus: In court, he will 16 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Yikes!â&#x20AC;? the movies Sherman Hemsley 29 Take down ___ as 17 his Comic own lawyer. ___ C.K. played a deacon 63 Breakfast order with (demote) 18 Stir-fry vegetables a hole in NO it 30 Drug bust amounts 57 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Downton Abbeyâ&#x20AC;? MONEY SAVED! UH â&#x20AC;Ś WAIT â&#x20AC;Ś 19 Sticker word on an countess 65 Walkie-talkie 32drug Schumerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s In June, Tennesseeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s program to kick avocado, maybemuch-publicized message 58 Aspiring D.A.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s exam users off welfare rolls (and only welfareender rolls, among all Trainwreck costar 20 Paid athletes visiting 66 Billion : giga :: 59 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Yikes!â&#x20AC;? peopletwo receiving any type of state subsidy) wound up33 itsFilm director similarly-named trillion : ___ out of 28,559 on Kurosawa 60 Lacoste of tennis first year cutting off fewer than 40 people African countries? 67 Former Weekend and fashion 34 Clingy, in a way public assistance (â&#x20AC;&#x153;temporary assistance to needy familiesâ&#x20AC;?). 23 Prom rental host Hansen 61 â&#x20AC;&#x153;The ___ Squadâ&#x20AC;? 36 Not here to stay The sponsoring legislators saidEdition they were pleased with 24 Cookie with a 68 changes. Refuse to Th believe (â&#x20AC;&#x2122;60s-â&#x20AC;&#x2122;70s TV drama) the program planned no e state paid 38 a Partygoerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s purchase seasonaland Pumpkin 69 Word with rash 64 Funeral in Berlin contractor $11,000 to conduct 468 drug tests, but did not 43 Icy North Atlantic Spice variety or lamp novelist Deighton disclose staff costs of processing applications, deciding who hazard 25 Grads-to-be, briefly to test and managing cases.70 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Here we are as in 28 Mountain top ___ days ...â&#x20AC;? Solution to â&#x20AC;&#x153;Order in the Food Courtâ&#x20AC;? 31 Actor Fillion DONâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T THROW ME IN THAT BRIAR PATCH (all rise, then be seated at a table) (10/21/15) 35 E! News host Sadler At 7:30 a.m. on Oct. 8, according DOWN to Dallas police, 3 $ & . & 2 % % 3 , / 2 7 37 FaucetJones, stealerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 1 Actordecided Penn (Harold Kristopher 18,job? and a buddy theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d rob2Joyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s $ / , , $ 5 ( 1 $ 0 $ 5 39 Dies ___As(Day Kumar) Donut shop. theyofexited the& store (one carrying the ( * * 6 9 , * 2 5 5 2 9 ( 2 Each off-duty officer (whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d shopâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;sWrath) cash register), a uniformed, & 5 , 0 , 1 $ / 4 8 ( 6 2 40 Pharmaceutical Boot janglersaw the whole pulled up to the store â&#x20AC;&#x201D; for 3doughnuts) + ( / ( 1 2 8 5 6 0 ( * purveyor ___ Lilly Cats lyricist thing and arrested Jones (his4 partner wasT.S. able to flee). 41 Brickell with the ' 5 , 9 ( 1 & 2 3 ( 5 Make a mistake New Bohemians - $ 1 ( ' 2 ( * $ 9 ( / 6 SportsCenter channel 42 Them versus 2 ) ) 5 , ( 6 6 , ' ( % $ 5 7 Went out SHOT MORE MEN WHO ACCIDENTALLY Arachnophobia THEMSELVES RECENTLY8 Harry Potterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 2 5 , 2 / ( 6 $ % 2 8 7 showdown? nemesis Malfoytime in three A 16-year-old boy, in the leg for the second . ( 3 7 ' $ 1 & ( 5 46 Anyone able to Tulsa, rattle Sept. months (same leg); A road-ragerkind waving ( a gun 9 Uncomplicated 6 7 / , = $ & 2 ' $ 6 off more than 10 question at a driver, jarring his trigger fiofnger as he crashed; Estero, , 3 / ( $ ' 7 + ( ) , 6 + digits of pi, probably Florida, Sept. Christen Reece, 23, of shot in the head showing 10 Out oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mind? / , 0 2 ) ( 7 $ ) 5 2 < 2 47 Ballpoint relative friends the gunâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;safetyâ&#x20AC;?; Navajo County, Sept. A 11 Its state drinkArizona, is 48 Five-card game ( ( 1 < $ * ( ' : $ 1 / < man celebrating his 21st (and,tomato alas, fijuice, nal) birthday; Dallas, for 50 Bit of sunshine $ 7 7 $ / 2 5 ( ' 2 6 ( ' some the reason July. A 49-year-old man who failed â&#x20AC;&#x153;removing the magazine does not clear the chamberâ&#x20AC;? test; Mims, Florida, June. Martin Hoyer, 51, who failed the â&#x20AC;&#x153;waistband is not a holsterâ&#x20AC;? test; Wenatchee, Washington, Sept. Thomas Javier, urinating in 26, trying to hide his gun (after being caught the street) and fumbling it, accidentally shooting himself in the vicinity of the organ in question; Brooklyn, New York, Sept. Donald Watson, 43, slipping a for-sale gun in his pocket and somehow firing on his penis; Sioux Falls, South Dakota, Sept. Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net
â&#x20AC;&#x153;Go For Itâ&#x20AC;?
38 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 28-NOVEMBER 3, 2015
DOING TIME RIGHT In October, a Harvard University debate team (three-time recent American Parliamentary Debate Association champs) lost a match to a team of prisoners from maximum-security Eastern New York Correctional Facility. Prison debaters â&#x20AC;&#x153;are held to the exact same standardsâ&#x20AC;? as college teams, according to the director of Bard Collegeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Prison Initiative, which coaches the inmates. Prisoners took the â&#x20AC;&#x153;proâ&#x20AC;? side of public schools having the right to turn away students whose parents had entered the U.S. illegally (though team members personally disagreed). The Bard trainers pointed out that the inmates perfected their presentation despite (or perhaps because of) the prison prohibition on Internet access. UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT The Merit
Systems Protection Board is (according to The Washington Post) â&#x20AC;&#x153;a personnel court of last resortâ&#x20AC;? for federal employees unfairly punished by demotion or firing. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s what Timothy Korb needed when his agency suspended him in 2013, allegedly for revealing at a staff meeting that the agencyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s actual case backlog was much worse than it let on. Korbâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s employer, ironically, is the Merit Systems Protection Board, and in September 2015, an administrative law judge upheld his claim of unfairness.
TOOK THE WORDS OUTTA MY MOUTH
Philosophy professor Anna Stubblefield (Rutgers-Newark University) was convicted of aggravated sexual assault on a severely disabled man she was found having sex with on the floor in a locked office. At trial in September, she testified the man â&#x20AC;&#x153;consent[ed]â&#x20AC;? and they were â&#x20AC;&#x153;in love.â&#x20AC;? The victim, 34, has cerebral palsy and other ailments, requires assistance for most activities, is intellectually disabled, and doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t speak, â&#x20AC;&#x153;except for making noises,â&#x20AC;? a brother said. Stubblefield had been working with him on the controversial practice of â&#x20AC;&#x153;facilitated communicationâ&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D; a facilitator reads a patientâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mind via subtleties such as eye movement and articulates the words for him. A jury convicted her, not buying the facilitated â&#x20AC;&#x153;consent.â&#x20AC;?
SHAMELESS In rare bipartisan action, the
United States Senate is preparing a bill to ban taxpayer funds for those military salutes at
sporting events. Teams (the legislators believe) already benefit from the fan-friendly staging of heartwarming patriotic displays. The Pentagon paid $5.4 million to the National Football League over the last four years. An NFL spokesman, playing catch-up, said in September, â&#x20AC;&#x153;[N]o one should be paid to honor our troops.â&#x20AC;?
GONNA CUT YOU DOWN In a recent resolution, Blount County, Tennessee, Commissioner Karen Miller called for fellow commissioners and state officials all the way up to governor to prepare for â&#x20AC;&#x153;Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wrathâ&#x20AC;? for recent national policies (same-sex marriage, etc.) she disagrees with. Though other states might be in for a smiting, Millerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s resolution calls on God to spare Blount County by the â&#x20AC;&#x153;safety of the Passover lamb.â&#x20AC;? In October, the commission tabled the resolution, 10-5; she promised to reintroduce it. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;M DA MAN! John Morgan, 28, and
Ashley Duboe, 24, were charged in September with robbing the Savings Bank in Ashville, Ohio. Their capture was made easier by Morganâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Facebook photos of himself riffling through (and with a mouthful of) his newly acquired stack of bills (a â&#x20AC;&#x153;McStack,â&#x20AC;? he wrote) and describing his elation: â&#x20AC;&#x153;I got six bands bra ... Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m doing rrree=aaaalll good.â&#x20AC;? Police were quick to find the Facebook page because Morgan was on parole from a 2010 bank robbery.
LEGISLATORS IN ACTION By September, Cindy Gamrat and Todd Courser were finally out of the Michigan Legislature â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Gamrat by guard-escorted removal after her formal expulsion and Courser by pre-emptive resignation â&#x20AC;&#x201D; following the pairâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s monthslong â&#x20AC;&#x153;secretâ&#x20AC;? sexual affair and clumsy handling of its revelation. Courserâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s original defense strategy was to plant a bogus story of a gay-sex scandal, hoping to discredit as hysteria any news about his actual affair, but when that failed, he issued a 1,900-word plea, liberally quoting the Bible, acknowledging his hypocrisy and hoping for salvation from his colleagues; they failed to have his back. Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net
OCTOBER 28-NOVEMBER 3, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 39