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THIS WEEK //11.09-11.15.16 // VOL. 29 ISSUE 32 COVER STORY
HARDCORE
[12]
PRAWN
Jacksonville Suns’ new oxymoronic team name — THE JUMBO SHRIMP – is so crazily fitting that it just might work STORY BY RICHARD DAVID SMITH III PHOTOS BY CLAIRE GOFORTH
FEATURED F EATURED ARTICLES
LAUGHTER WAS THE BEST MEDICINE
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EMOTIONAL RESCUE
PINK SLIPS READY TO GO
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BY DAN HUDAK The latest from DIRECTOR JEFF NICHOLS’ is the sweet and subdued story of a 1950’s interracial couple
BY A.G. GANCARSKI Thank God IT’S OVER
[39]
BY GREGORY SAMPSON Teacher laments ELIMINATION of KEY POSITION at magnet school
COLUMNS + CALENDARS FROM THE EDITOR MAIL OUR PICKS FIGHTIN’ WORDS JAG CITY MUSIC
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FOLIO WEEKLY MAGAZINE IS PUBLISHED EVERY WEDNESDAY THROUGHOUT NORTHEAST FLORIDA. It contains opinions of contributing writers that are not necessarily the opinion of this publication. Folio Weekly Magazine welcomes editorial and photographic contributions. Calendar information must be received two weeks in advance of event date. Copyright © Folio Publishing, Inc. 2016. All rights reserved. Advertising rates and information are available on request. An advertiser purchases right of publication only. One free issue copy per person. Additional copies and back issues are $1 each at the office or $4 by U.S. mail, based on availability. First Class mail subscriptions are $48 for 13 weeks, $96 for 26 weeks and $189 for 52 weeks. Please recycle Folio Weekly. Folio Weekly Magazine is printed on 100% recycled paper using soy-based inks.
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FROM THE EDITOR
MEDIA
boy, did the indignation rage. Personally, I’d be lying if I said my first reaction was something other than uncontrollable laughter. Outrage at Goliath = opportunity for David. And, as I’m typing this hours before Election Day without the benefit of knowing the outcome, I still sympathize with those who would like nothing better than to run the T-U’s and The St. Augustine Record’s owners out of town on a rail on the outside possibility that the endorsement will sway the electorate. I’m also pissed at the owners for impugning the integrity of the media. Overruling editors and forcing them to sign their names to words they don’t agree with is practically a how-to on destroying the perception of editorial independence that takes years to build and seconds to demolish. It’s acts like these that are at the core of the public’s mistrust of us. People don’t like
MATTERS “The only security of all is in a free press.” —Thomas Jefferson
BEING IN THE MEDIA IS LESS A CAREER THAN a calling. The hours are long, the pay usually stinks, the work is often thankless and some days it feels like everyone hates you and blames you for everything that’s wrong in the world. And, as an added bonus, every time we mess up at work, the whole world gets to read all about it in the corrections section. If you want to get up close and personal with the utmost limits of your ability to process stress, pursue a career in journalism. People in the media are insulted, harassed, assaulted, kidnapped, sued and murdered in the line of duty. Sometimes it feels like we should qualify for hazard pay. Other times, like when we give a voice to the voiceless, expose a wrong or champion a right, it feels like we would do the job for free. (Note to the boss: The feeling passes quickly.) There certainly are fame-addicted shills in the media who care less about right and wrong than recognition and advancement. And there certainly are some in the media who are so biased that their objectivity is nonexistent. But most of us are good, some of us are noble, and a few of us will change the world. In the past several years and particularly in recent months, complaints about the media have steadily increased until it has become a roar that dominates much of the national conversation about the press. A 2013 Gallup poll even found that a paltry 20 percent of the public ranked reporters as “high” or “very high” for honesty and ethical standards – the poll found that people actually trust local politicians more than reporters. Anyone who’s covered local politics longer than five seconds knows exactly how hilarious that is. Considering the foregoing, the sheer numbers of statements being made of late that include the phrase “the media isn’t covering” or “the press isn’t paying attention” or “the media doesn’t want you to know” is less than surprising. It’s also 100 percent, completely, totally, utterly wrong. Take it from someone in the media, we want you to know everything; seriously, we’d like nothing more than for each and every man, woman and child to soak up our every word like a sponge, for “TLDR” to disappear from the national vernacular. Who wants to read 8,000 words about pensions?! Nobody. Except Curtis Lee. (Praise be, Curtis Lee.) But we’d settle for being less hated. Last weekend The Florida Times-Union’s owners astonished everyone, except those of us who have labored in the trenches of local news shoulder-to-shoulder with that big hairy animal and its archconservative owners, when they unilaterally decided against the wishes of the editorial board to endorse OJ Adolf. Appalled and angry at being embarrassed on the national stage (again), locals took to the mean streets of social media and, boy oh 4 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 9-15, 2016
photo courtesy Reuters Politics/Jonathan Ernst
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subterfuge and sleight-of-hand from the ones that are expected to be honest to a fault, ethical beyond compare and stand behind their words 110 percent. And they especially don’t like it from those people’s bosses. A lot of the anger that is being directed towards the paper is understandable, and I do believe in putting your dollars where your values are. Chick-fil-A’s nuggets and waffle fries (!) are delicious but I ain’t funding opposition to same sex marriage. #Nope But, as much as it pains a competitor to admit, that endorsement is not reflective of the journalists who work at the T-U. Just like the reporters whose bylines appear on these hallowed pages, each does their damnedest to get the story straight and right and tell people truths that move and inform. Sure, there may be a trickle-down effect of the ownership’s conservatism that sneaks into a line here, a headline there; but a fact is a fact is a fact. As a frenemy to the journalists who work for the T-U, I can’t help but feel sympathy for their integrity being questioned because of the unilateral decision of the out-of-touch and out-of-state rich old white dude who signs their checks feels justified in substituting his judgment for the very people he employs. This isn’t something William S. Morris IV can make all better with a front-page explanation about traditional conservative values. Those reporters deserve better than that. Northeast Florida does, too. Claire Goforth claire@folioweekly.com
THE MAIL NALED IT
RE.: “Northeast Florida Gets Nailed,” by Claire Goforth, Oct. 26 THANK YOU FOR YOUR ARTICLE ABOUT NALED. I have been trying to tell people that this is going on right over their head, but at the same time, I also don’t understand how they can be doing this without the general knowledge of the public. I am fairly new to NEFL, coming from Buffalo ... needless to say it’s been quite the culture shock. I wasn’t aware of just how “right” people could actually be (pun intended). I want you to know I will be contacting our local representative and asking why such a decision was made. Folio is one of the only places I can get some decent news thank you. Evan Carey via email
GRAND OLE PARTY POOPERS
RE.: “The Medical Marijuana Movement,” by A.G. Gancarski, Nov. 2 YOU’RE KIDDING RIGHT? THIS IS THE STATE that elected [Rick] Scott twice. Ric Milstead via Facebook
LET US ONLY ENTERTAIN YOU
RE.: “What Wikileaks Taught Us,” by A.G. Gancarski, Oct. 26 PLEASE KEEP TO ENTERTAINMENT NEWS, AS options on how great Hillary is and that you voted for Obama twice does not make you a pundit. The incorrect use of information in that article about Wikileaks was appalling. Clinton uses her foundation to accept funding from entities that want favors and in return the Clintons enjoy personal gain ($66M to Bill on speaking engagements tied directly back to the donor). Selling the political influence to let Russia buy up 20 percent of the uranium from a U.S. company or U.S. companies to sell arms and technology to the Middle East that the Secretary of State approved and then gained personally they Bill Clinton Inc. is what you missed. When she is caught one day and the damage the Clintons have caused us all is realized by you and others, you will regret writing that article because it’s wrong, misleading, and opinionated. Please stick to entertainment news for Folio Weekly. Larry Longhi via email
IT’S LIKE YOU WERE THERE
RE.: “The Monster Next Door,” by Claire Goforth, Oct. 26 FUNNY, THIS IS HOW I PICTURE YOU WRITING ONE of your screeds about the Human Rights Ordinance: “...one gets the sense of a darkened, musty room in which a hunched figure pecks at a keyboard in fervent spurts, wild-eyed, mumbling and rocking back and forth between typing jags. It’s stream-of-consciousness propaganda dressed up with religion, love, peace and brotherhood.” Gary E. Eckstine via email LEND YOUR VOICE If you’d like to respond to something you read in the pages of Folio Weekly Magazine, please send an email (with your name, address, and phone number for verification purposes only) to mail@folioweekly.com, visit us at folioweekly.com, or follow us on Twitter or Facebook (@folioweekly) and join the conversation.
BRICKBATS + BOUQUETS BRICKBATS TO NASSAU COUNTY SCHOOL DISTRICT Nassau County School District is one of 10 districts being investigated by the Florida Department of Education for artificially inflating graduation rates by strongly encouraging, possibly pressuring, low performing students to drop out and complete their studies at private, out of state online schools, First Coast News reports. The investigation has not yet concluded, but, if these allegations are true, the school system is depriving the very students who may need live, in-person instruction the most of the same education and opportunity their peers. That’s wrong on so many levels. BOUQUETS TO THE PLAYERS CHAMPIONSHIP In what has become a beloved tradition, every spring, golf junkies amass for The Players Championship at TPC Sawgrass. But beyond those impeccable greens and delightful midafternoon sun showers, there hides a heartwarming open secret: the tournament donates serious bucks to local charities, most benefiting children. In fact, last year the The Players donated a whopping $8.5 million to local charities, smashing the previous record of $8.1 million set in 2015. BRICKBATS TO WILLIAM S. MORRIS IV On the weekend before the election, The Florida Times-Union, owned the local news cycle in the worst way: Morris, CEO of Morris Communications, the company that owns the paper, forced its editorial to endorse Donald Trump over their unanimous objection. Psst, Morris IV, “editorial independence” means you don’t get to tell the editors what to write. But in all fairness, we’re less than surprised – recall the kerfuffle last fall over that xenophobic, anti-Syrian refugee screed y’all reportedly made the editorial board publish under its byline? We do. (“Your Morris Compass,” folioweekly.com/YOUR-MORRIS-COMPASS,13858) DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? HOW ABOUT A BRICKBAT? Send submissions to mail@folioweekly.com; 50 word maximum, concerning a person, place, or topic of local interest. NOVEMBER 9-15, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5
PAGE BREAK JAX BY JAX What’s turning out to be the definitive lit-fest of Jacksonville, the third annual Jax by Jax is back with readings by 25 local authors, including (clockwise from top left) Tim Gilmore, Sohrab Fracis, Tricia Booker, Jeff Whipple, RaeJeana Brooks, Katherine Espano, Jim Alabiso, and Heather Peters, as well as Fred Dale, Frances Driscoll, Bill Ectric, Joe Flowers, Liz Gibson, Nan Kavanaugh, Grant Kittrell, Matthew Lany, Johnny Masiulewicz, Emily K. Michael, Marcus Pactor, Ebony PayneEnglish, Andres Rojas, Caleb Sarvis, Sean T. Smith, Mark Stewart, and Marisella Veiga, along with a student showcase and after-party and booksigning. 3-6 p.m. Saturday, Nov. 12, at various Park and King Streets locations, Riverside; details at jaxbyjax.com.
SAT
12
OUR PICKS FOCUS ON HERITAGE JACKSONVILLE JEWISH FILM FESTIVAL
The third biennial JCA Jacksonville Jewish Film Festival features documentaries and featurelength, award-winning films including Very Semi Serious, Wedding Doll, In Search of Israeli Cuisine, Partner with the Enemy, Once in a Lifetime, Rabin in His Own Words, and Adam Nimoy’s loving biopic about his dad Leonard For the Love of Spock (pictured). Sunday, Nov. 13- Thursday, Nov. 17, Jewish Community Alliance, Mandarin; $10 advance per screening; $12 at the door; $30 opening night. Full schedule and tickets at jcajax.org/filmfest.
SUN
13
THE COSMOLOGICAL EYE AN EVENING WITH NEIL DeGRASSE TYSON
REASONS TO LEAVE THE HOUSE THIS WEEK MON
14
As an astrophysicist, cosmologist, author and all-around brainiac, Neil deGrasse Tyson is a visionary in science and humanities, equally at ease pontificating about the universe as he is about social justice as he is about his open-minded, secular beliefs. While Tyson has dismissed the idea of philosophy, he’s actually as synced with ancient philosophers like Heraclitus as he is with Stephen Hawking. Tyson’s insightful views on “big questions,” delivered in a laid-back, humorous approach we morons can comprehend, the multiple-award-winning scientist (who has 18 honorary doctorates!) continues to spark our interest in a true universe of ideas and thought. 7:30 p.m. Monday, Nov. 14, The Florida Theatre, Downtown, $69.50-$89.50, floridatheatre.com.
POUNDING FLESH
CARCASS Formed in 1985 in Liverpool (like the Beatles), thrash demigods Carcass serve a sonic, sinewy feast of gruesome lyrics and blast-beat-driven music that’s been called (depending on your morals and sense of pulchritude) splatter metal, hardgore and goregrind. When the band added melody to the mix in the ’90s, some fans cried foul, while others saw it as an inevitable progression of a group that had redefined metal and were now redefining themselves. Carcass has experienced a few line-up changes and even called it quits in ’06. The re-formed band is here in support of their latest, Surgical Steel. 7 p.m. Thursday, Nov. 10 with Deafheaven and Inter Arma, 1904 Music Hall, Downtown, $25, 1904musichall.com.
FRI
11
FUTURE NOW ALICIA OLATUJA THU
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Brooklyn-based singer-songwriter Alicia Olatuja is ascending through the 21st-century music scene on the strengths of her soulful vocals and tunes that merge jazz and soul into a truly unique atmospheric blend. She first came to prominence in 2013, as the featured soloist with the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir at President Obama’s second inauguration. Media outlets including Downbeat Magazine and The New York Times have praised her work, and collaborations with heavy-hitters like Dr. Lonnie Smith, Christian McBride and Chaka Khan (Chaka Khan) are revealing that Olatuja might be a millennial with an old soul. 8 p.m. Friday, Nov. 11, The Ritz Theatre & Museum, LaVilla, $25-$30, ritzjacksonville.com.
NOVEMBER 9-15, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7
FOLIO VOICES : FIGHTIN’ WORDS THE 80S HAIR METAL BAND CINDERELLA HAD a hit back in the day, entitled “Don’t know what you’ve got (till it’s gone).” That song was not about the sorry spectacle that was the 2016 election. If they’d been that clairvoyant, Cinderella would have invented grunge. However, the titular sentiment applies to this election – what a godforsaken freak show it was. Consider the top of the ticket – the presidential race, i.e. the only thing half the people reading this even cared about. One side saw the effective coronation of a legacy candidate, helped along by the dummy challenge of Martin O’Malley, whose reasons for running were always obscure at best, and of Bernie Sanders, who went from complaining about crony capitalism and the candidate of Wall Street to capitulating to the Clinton machine, which absorbed him into the Borg with no more or less ceremony than it did the mainstream media, which was so in the tank for her that it should have been counted as an in kind contribution. The other side saw Trump, aided and abetted by the “winner takes all” primary system the GOP establishment set up to grease the skids for Jeb Bush or Marco Rubio. Turned out that demagoguery carried the day in winner takes all primaries. It’s as if Trump’s MAGA set responded to personal insults more than it did to policy prescriptions. Moving down from there, it was an atrocity exhibition the likes of which no one really predicted a year before. In the senate race, you saw the implosion of “Congressman With Guts” Alan Grayson, who talked a good socialist-lite game but proved to be personally reprehensible and an easy target for Patrick Murphy, the Democratic nominee who may or may not have been a cardboard cutout (because the only time he made it to NE Florida was to fundraise, we will never know). In the house race in CD 5, we saw the end of the Corrine Brown experience, her longrunning act undermined by her (or her inner circle’s) inability to keep its hands out of the One Door for Education till. Brown’s gone. Glo Smith, the Republican sacrificial lamb, raised barely enough money in her bid for school board, much less congress. And Al Lawson? He had a victory party Tuesday night … in Tallahassee. (Notable: you can’t spell Tallahassee without “al.”) Everyone wanted to kvetch about how corrupt Corrine was, but at least she was here. State house races? We had issues there, too. Reggie Fullwood ran for and won his nomination for reelection while under
indictment. After he realized that he couldn’t wriggle out of his campaign fraud counts by saying his contributors didn’t care that he spent their money on jewelry and liquor, he pleaded out. Quintessential Duval hubris there. But it’s not as bad as Jay Fant, the esteemed representative from the Westside, who raised $90K for a campaign against a write-in, then pissed $70K down his leg at the intersection of Park and Edgewood. Wait, I mean that he spent $70K on an ad buy that ran every five minutes on Fox News for weeks on end. Congrats to the consultants who got him to sign on to that utter waste of money. And even in the Duval Clerk of Courts race, where the entire media turned apoplectic at the beginning of 2015 about the end to the 140-year-old tradition of courthouse weddings, the media didn’t hold it against Ronnie Fussell. The T-U endorsed him, as did Corrine Brown in her quick picks. Amidst this dispiriting backdrop, there was one candidate who defined the cycle for me: Daniel Murphy, a write-in running for congress against John Rutherford. Murphy’s campaign budget: $100. I caught Murphy’s act at a debate in October against Gary Koniz (a guy prone to writing 5,000 word screeds to local politicians, characterized by conspiracy theories and weird capitalizations) and Democrat Dave Bruderly, who wanted to be taken seriously as a real threat to Rutherford, but didn’t bother with campaign infrastructure. Murphy’s closing remarks were of interest, as they essentially were an 80s-style standup routine, explaining how his plan to “make America laugh again” would “bring our country together again.” “Give me laughter, or give me death. Preferably laughter,” Murphy said. We know we don’t control our elections. The prison industry, big pharma, hundreds of lobbying groups – they own some of us, rent others, and have earmarked the rest for demolition and redevelopment. Murphy’s approach, financed on less money than it costs to have dinner at Ruth’s Chris, was the best commentary this year on the corrupt, remote and depressing system by which our country is run, our currency is debased, and our prospects rendered bleaker with each passing year. Make America Laugh Again? Hell yes. Because it’s easier than crying. It’s also less dehydrating – an important consideration in the water wars to come. A.G. Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com Twitter/AGGancarski
LAUGHTER WAS
THE
BEST
MEDICINE Thank God IT’S OVER
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HACKETT TO PIECES &
END IT BLAKE’S PASSES only thing shakier than season
improved, although some questionable decisions were made on short-yardage situations. The Jags also ran for over 200-yards for the first time this season. Penalties were also sharply decreased. Ultimately, they lost the turnover battle... horribly. And not only did that potentially cost the game, but it further raises questions about Bortles’ ability. Bortles’ pair of interceptions were laughable, literally, the Jags fans next to me were laughing. He seems unable to read coverage and misses defenders who are positioned to make a break on the ball for a turnover. Thanks to a subpar offensive line, he often has to scramble before a throw; which is fine
because he is a mobile quarterback. However, after he scrambles, he doesn’t reposition his feet properly, which leads to inaccurate or weak passes. Finally...that wobble. Watch a side-by-side of a pass from Tom Brady and a pass from Bortles and it’s tough to miss. Rather than a nice spiral, Bortles’ passes wobble as though he’s throwing with the wrong arm. This results in balls that are underthrown, outside the route and slow enough for the defense to make a swat at it. I want Bortles to be the guy; I’m sure a lot of people did before this year. But halfway through the year, based on what we’ve seen, it might be time to look at who else is available.
Barring the most unlikely turnaround in NFL history, the Jaguars will be facing the offseason on the hunt for a new coach, a new quarterback and a general manager perhaps moving into his final year. Hopefully, in the second half of the season Hackett can continue to build on the strong rush game we saw in Kansas City and the defense can remain as dominant as possible. But at day’s end, the offseason needs to move through the air, score points and keep the defense rested. The worst fears might be true...the rebuild is failing. Mark Judson mail@folioweekly.com @MarkfromJax
THE JAGUARS WON EVERY MAJOR CATEGORY against the Kansas City Chiefs Sunday, but flew home with a big, fat “L” in the winloss column. Under new offensive coordinator, Nathaniel Hackett, the Jaguars found a run game; a focus of Hackett’s when he held the same role with the Bills. Ultimately, the same problems plagued the AFC South’s last-place franchise — poor passing, turnovers and the inability to convert in important situations.
Bortles was CRINGE-WORTHY at best. I’m not sure if his mechanics have digressed dramatically this year, or if this is the first year I PAID ATTENTION. Quarterback Blake Bortles was cringe-worthy at best. I’m not sure if his mechanics have digressed dramatically this year, or if this is the first year I paid attention to the ball wobbling through the air to a defensive back’s hands like it’s a game of backyard pick-up. The argument can be made that a possible touchdown run by Chris Ivory was (wrongfully) negated in instant replay, but the Jaguars shouldn’t have been in such a situation to begin with. Playing against a mostly second-string Chiefs squad, the Jaguars defense provided endless opportunities for the offense to win the game. Huge stops on third down and in the redzone, coupled with low yardage and few first downs, should make any game winnable. But the Jaguars proved once again they are incapable of grinding away to victory. Improvements were evident, however. Playcall under Hackett was mostly NOVEMBER 9-15, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11
HARDCORE
PRAWN Jacksonville Suns’ new OXYMORONIC TEAM NAME — The Jumbo Shrimp – is so crazily fitting that it just might work STORY BY RICHARD DAVID SMITH III PHOTOS BY CLAIRE GOFORTH 12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 9-15, 2016
Y
ou may remember me. I used to write for this very periodical regularly under the Anne Schindler/ John Citrone regime and then returned for a brief time during the Jeffrey Billman era. Among other things, I covered the stand-up comedy scene, wrote political / social editorials, and myriad other #DuvalThings. Those in Duval who don’t remember my writing will almost certainly remember me as “The Dunn Trial Jury Reject.” Anyway, the first thing I ever had published in Folio Weekly was a Backpage Editorial I wrote in my mid-twenties about my disregard for the overblown reaction to steroids in baseball – and now here I am again, coming full on-deck circle, writing about the grand old game for FW a little over a decade after my first appearance. See, after living on the First Coast for about 30 years and writing on and off while working various day jobs for the latter 10 years of it, about a year ago to the day, I left the Sunshine State and have since relocated to Seattle. I love it here, so, no, you can’t have me back, but I still keep Jacksonville local news cascading through my timeline. Why, you ask? Well, first of all, when you live in a city for the better part of three decades, for better or for worse, it always remains a part of you – it just does – but also because, in The Emerald City, you really just don’t get to experience local gems like the following story. At 10 a.m. on Nov. 2, the minor league baseball team now formerly known as the Jacksonville Suns, under new owner Ken Babby, unveiled a new team name and logo and will now be called the “Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp.” While I was still living in Jacksonville, I covered a few of the more notable Jacksonville Suns games, events and topics and, dammit, by rights I should have been there to cover this glorious, pivotal, possibly defining moment in Cowford history. Instead, as I rolled out of bed at 7:15 a.m. PST and took a groggy glance at my Blackberry (I know, I know), my Twitter feed was already blowing up with activity about this Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp name change. Reactions ranged from
hatred to disbelief to reports of a few people jumping off of the Mathews Bridge (okay, I made that last part up). Stanton High School and University of Florida grad Ravin Mahesh (@rawveen) tweeted: “Just when we thought Jax couldn’t take another L, we name our baseball team the ‘Jumbo Shrimp’ smh” Kelsie from St. John’s County (@KForeeee) tweeted: “Worst team in the NFL and our minor league baseball team is now named the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp..... Wow! Jax is officially a joke :’(“ Alyssa Lang, sports anchor at First Coast News (@AlyssaLang), tweeted: “Between the Jags and the Jumbo Shrimp, Jax may be the angriest sports city in America right now” Andy Godwin of Duval County (@AndyGodwin904) tweeted: “The most troubling thing I’ve heard in a while is the Jacksonville Suns are changing their name to the Jumbo Shrimp....idk what is life [crying emoticon]” Responses came from beyond Jacksonville as well. Graham Marsh of Gainesville (@graham_ marsh1) tweeted: “The Suns changing their name to the Jumbo Shrimp is the most Jacksonville thing I’ve ever heard in my life” Rachel Williams from “Tally” (@Rachel_ dw8) tweeted: “Please tell me this is not true please tell me the Suns are not changing their name to the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp GOODBYE” Like seemingly everyone else, my first thought was also, “WTF!?” (because that’s how we think now, with social media abbreviations even in our own dumb brains). Why Jumbo Shrimp, of all names? For starters, Jacksonville isn’t on the Gulf Coast. I mean, yes, you can technically get jumbo shrimp there (I used to pick it up fresh off the boat in Mayport in my fish delivery days right after high school), but you can get Philly cheese steaks on Baymeadows Road, too; that doesn’t mean Jacksonville is renowned for it. If you were going for the cinematic angle, Forrest Gump shot some scenes a couple hours north in Savannah, a city that wants nothing to do with being confused with Jacksonville, as chronicled in the pages of the antebellum city’s bible: John Berendt’s Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. As for the attempt at
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On Nov. 2, Jacksonville’s minor league baseball team held a press conference at the TimesUnion Center for the Performing Arts to formally announce it was changing its name from the Jacksonville Suns to the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp.
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HARDCORE
<<< FROM PREVIOUS
The Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp baseball club, formerly known as the Jacksonville Suns (Miami Marlins Double-A affiliate), unveiled its new identity at a media event Wednesday at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts.
alliteration, that’s ruined by the “shrimp” part. If you were going for that, it would be better to call the team the “Jumbos” and just imply the shrimp part with the gaudy shrimp logo/ mascot. While shrimp may flow delectably down the gullet, Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp does not flow easily off the tongue. (What, was “Jacksonville Decapod Crustaceans” already taken?) In summation, the new name seems kinda ... Babby. All right, so after I and everyone else made our dumb jokes, I decided to give the new name a fair chance and take a look at the official press release, issued via MILB.com, the official site of Minor League Baseball. The opening statement says:
The new Jumbo Shrimp name celebrates Jacksonville as a big small town - Florida’s largest city, yet in many ways a richly connected and close-knit community. Embodying the city’s determination and resilience, the centerpiece of the new identity is a tenacious Jumbo Shrimp in the shape of a “J” amid the water that is the natural geography of the River City on the First Coast. A Jumbo Shrimp holding the state of Florida is a secondary mark. A third logo is the Shrimp Boil mark celebrating affordable family fun with the resilient Jumbo Shrimp fighting his way out of a caldron. St. Johns Navy, Patriotic Blue, American Red and Shrimp make up the team’s new official colors, paying tribute to Jacksonville’s rich military heritage.
PRAWN
Former Jaxson de Ville and First Coast Living co-host, Curtis Dvorak (left), and attornet John M. Phillips (right) model two versions of the new Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp uniforms. 14 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 9-15, 2016
Let’s examine this statement sentence by sentence: The new Jumbo Shrimp name celebrates Jacksonville as a big small town - Florida’s largest city, yet in many ways a richly connected and close-knit community. Yes, this is absolutely, 100 percent, without a doubt a true statement. So put the “this name is an oxymoron” jokes aside because everyone who has ever lived in Jacksonville knows that it is somehow, literally, the world’s biggest small town. Jacksonville is the largest city by area in the contiguous United States, and it even deceptively looks like a major metropolis, but make no mistake, it’s a small town. “On a psycho-spiritual level, Jacksonville IS the jumbo shrimp,” stalwart Riverside musician Shawn Lightfoot wrote to Folio Weekly, “Think about all the conversations we might have engaged in regarding Jacksonville and its potential. How many people do you remember calling Jacksonville a big-little city, or a little-big city? The Jumbo Shrimp is Jacksonville’s spirit animal!”
A third logo is the Shrimp Boil mark celebrating affordable family fun with the resilient Jumbo Shrimp fighting his way out of a caldron. While I will concede that shrimp are probably in search of “affordable family fun,” what with female shrimp laying 50,000 to one million eggs at a time, the “Jumbo Shrimp fighting his way out of a caldron” is getting a little carried away with the bullshit shrimp symbolism. St. Johns Navy, Patriotic Blue, American Red and Shrimp make up the team’s new official colors, paying tribute to Jacksonville’s rich military heritage.
This last sentence may be the dumbest sentence I’ve ever read. My deconstruction aside, there are obviously a lot of fans that are really, really not happy about this moniker modification, spurring the biggest name change protest in the region since the renaming of Nathan Bedford Forrest High School to Westside High School in the form of a “Save the Jacksonville Suns from being called The Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp” online petition started by Brad Lundblom of “Duuuuuuvalllll, FL.” As of this writing, 10,720 people have signed that petition to Ken Babby. WJXT reporter and Jacksonville Sports Godfather Sam Kouvaris wrote to Folio
Weekly, “‘Jumbo Shrimp’ screams ‘minor league.’ Rightly or wrongly, people in Jacksonville don’t consider themselves minor league.” Kouvaris is certainly right about the first part. The name does scream minor league. Awkward, clunky team names such as Bowling Green Hot Rods, Clinton Lumber Kings, Charlotte Stone Crabs, Hartford Yard Goats, Inland Empire 66ers, Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs, and Tri-City Valley Cats litter (pun intended) minor league Double- and Triple-A divisions throughout the country.
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While shrimp may flow delectably down the gullet, Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp DOES NOT FLOW EASILY off the tongue. (What, was “Jacksonville Decapod Crustaceans” already taken?) In summation, the new name seems kinda ... BABBY.
Now this line from the opening statement: Embodying the city’s determination and resilience, the centerpiece of the new identity is a tenacious Jumbo Shrimp in the shape of a “J” amid the water that is the natural geography of the River City on the First Coast. I don’t know, shrimp are pretty much the shit heels of the ocean, swallowed up by large creatures of the sea as they languidly drift across the sea floor, not once looking “tenacious” or “determined” about anything. However, being the cockroaches of the deep blue, they are pretty damn resilient, as pointed out by a recent article on ScienceAlert.com about a hellish “lake under the sea” where “only bacterial life, tube worms, and shrimp can survive,” probably alongside residual crude from the BP oil spill fiasco. Okay, I’ll give them partial credit for that one. A Jumbo Shrimp holding the state of Florida is a secondary mark. I disagree here. That shrimp is not “holding the state of Florida.” He’s hatef*cking it. NOVEMBER 9-15, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15
HARDCORE
PRAWN <<< FROM PREVIOUS But they should be absurd, right? If you want decorum, go to an Armada game. Truth be told, a minor league baseball game is a more akin to a carnival than a sporting competition. It’s about chugging dollar beer and bobble head doll giveaways and goofy, clumsy mascots and trashy promos like “Tanya Harding Bat Night” and “Toilet Seat Cushion Night” and “Mike Tyson Ear
Night” (all of which are real) and pretty much everything – except baseball. It’s supposed to be ridiculous. In the second part of his statement, Kouvaris suggests that perhaps this name change has opened up the old wound of civic inadequacy often felt by those native to Jacksonville, a city often panned on a national level by sportswriters. That very well could be, but perhaps the real problem is not the Suns’ new name, but that Jacksonville is taking their minor league baseball too seriously (which is rich for a city that doesn’t even take its Human Rights Ordinances seriously). The Suns’ name is not exactly historically cemented –
remember the Jacksonville Expos (Jaxpos) from 85 to 90? – and maybe the Jumbo Shrimp represents a hard turn in the fork in the road where Jacksonville finally gives up on its delusions of grandeur and fully embraces what it really is and for Christ’s sake puts their existential angst aside and tries to have a little fun with their reputation at beautiful Bragan Field. Think about it, from a business point-ofview, this could be a brilliant idea. The logo looks like an 80s video game cover, so the never-get-enough-of-nostalgia Gen X crowd will, naturally, love it. Millenials will think it’s a new Pokémon. It’s by far the kitschiest thing to happen to Jacksonville since Ash
from Ash vs. the Evil Dead TV series called the city his personal utopia. Add in a little Springfield hipster-driven ironic pentameter and, who knows, maybe this new owner is suddenly seen as a marketing genius. After all, this announcement did have Jumbo Shrimp trending nationally alongside Hillary email quips and Trump bombast for a spell. So, is it so crazy it just might work? The name change may even bring in new spectators who weren’t previously interested in lower league hardball at all. “I never went to a game but I do know it’s supposed to be fun and family oriented so I am assuming that is what the new owner is trying to accomplish ... sounds absolutely idiotic but creating a buzz nonetheless. He did this in Ohio as well ... renamed the team the Rubber Ducks ... when something is so dumb and silly you just have to go and see it to believe it I think,” Renee Carter of Mandarin, who described herself as “not at all a sports fan at all,” wrote to FW. Jacksonville based stand-up comedian Chris Buck, host of Hot Potato Comedy Hour at Rain dogs. in Five Points welcomes the name change. “Who doesn’t like big delicious shrimp? Better than named after some KKK leader or a Civil War general,” Buck wrote FW. Still, not all are convinced, traditional minor league zaniness be damned. “The Jacksonville Suns owner argues that lots of minor league baseball teams have ridiculous names. That’s not an excuse,” Argyle’s Matt Flowers said in a series of tweets shortly following the announcement, adding, “It’s awkward when you root for a sports team with a mascot you would also eat. As a #Gators fan I understand this well.” The ultimate decision, of course, will be left to owner Babby, as tweeted eloquently by former Suns owner, Peter Bragan Jr. “When I saw the announcement today I was shocked. But Mr. Babby bought the team & he can name it whatever he wants. Good luck to the Shrimps!” As for Babby himself, as part of the press release he says: Today marks a new chapter for baseball here in Northeast Florida. Jacksonville’s incredible history as a baseball city dates back more than a century. That history carries on and is now matched with an identity epitomizing family entertainment that our fans have come to learn Minor League Baseball is all about. As someone who is now an outsider and merely entertained by the crazy ass shit that happens in Florida with no real skin in the game, I hope that Babby sticks to his guns (Florida loves guns, btw). But there is a deeper element at issue here. If you learn anything living in Seattle, it is the virtue and power of tolerance. Here we would welcome with open arms a Sun who now wants to identify as a Shrimp. So, if I could impart a bit of wisdom from my new home in the Pacific Northwest to my many friends back in Jacksonville, it would be to learn to accept your city for what it is and practice tolerance towards your new team: The Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp. Go Shrimp. Oh, and can someone down there Fed Ex me an official team hat? Richard David Smith III mail@folioweekly.com _____________________________________
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Follow RDS3’s Seattle adventures and his usual witticisms, criticisms, & twitticisms on Twitter: @rdS3attle
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FOLIO A + E
PRIMAL
Ascending from m experimental weirdos to mainstream EL LECTRO TASTEMAKERS, ELECTRO Animal Collecti ive still knows how to unite a room Collective
ELEMENTS
I
got quite lucky the first time I saw Animal Collective perform live. It was November 21, 2005, one day after my birthday, at the Great American Music Hall in San Francisco, where I lived for six confusing, intoxicating months after graduating from Flagler College earlier in the year. The music of the Baltimore-born foursome, consisting of childhood friends Noah “Panda Bear” Lennox, Dave “Avey Tare” Portner, Josh “Deakin” Dibb, and Brian “Geologist” Weitz, made little sense given the wider world of white-guy indie rock that was so popular then. Five albums of densely packed electroexperimentalism — 2000 debut Spirit They’ve Gone, Spirit They’ve Vanished, followed by Danse Manatee, Campfire Songs, Here Comes the Indian, and Sung Tongs — mixed confrontational walls of dissonant sound with ecstasy-inducing, Beach Boys-inspired melodies. Some songs (like early blogosphere favorite “Slippi”) still hurt to listen to all these years later, while others (like the ten-minute “Queen in My Pictures”) were early indicators that Animal Collective could one day translate meandering sonic squiggles into festivalheadlining, arena-packing transcendence. Back to November 21, 2005, the tail end of Animal Collective’s early period, when they still donned animal masks and face paint to maintain onstage anonymity. Only weeks before the show, their sixth full-length, Feels, had been released (as usual, on the band’s own Paw Tracks
FILM Loving ARTS Tracy Morgan MUSIC Mitski LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CALENDAR
label), and in that pre-social media age, it felt revelatory to be overwhelmed by the propulsive whelps of “Grass” and the exotic textures of “Bees” for the first time. I danced with abandon, probably for the first time in my life, at that show. And since I fled San Francisco for the comforts of my Florida home just a few weeks later, the moment — intimate venue, unfamiliar city, epic clouds of marijuana smoke, facepainted weirdos losing their shit on various psychedelics, Panda Bear and Avey Tare’s frantic call-and-response vocal cubism — still seems revelatory. But enough about me. Feels was the album that catapulted Animal Collective to mainstream stardom in the eyes of thousands of awestruck music fans. Their ascendance matched up with the mid2000s explosion of outdoor festivals, and every fan, critic, and promoter that saw the band live fell all over themselves to buy the 2007 album Strawberry Jam, AC’s first for legendary indie label Domino. “Peacebone” rocketed out of the gates with cleaner production and slicker vocals, but its highpitched warbles and neck-snapping breaks transmitted one message loud and clear: Animal Collective might be growing up, but they weren’t going soft. Such a successful marriage of unhinged sonic experimentation with gleeful pop structures ran through their next few seminal albums and the hits spawned from each of them: “My Girls” and “Summertime Clothes” from 2009’s
Merriweather Post Pavilion drip with humidity and thrum with good vibrations, transporting Animal Collective from their idyllic summers back home in Maryland, when they would convene in between semesters of high school and college to make music, forward to their current lives as adults supporting families, thanks to an untiring commitment to their art. Imagine your cool uncle reliving his eye-opening first experience with LSD and subsequent journey down psych, drone, and Krautrock rabbit holes over beers in the backyard. Strawberry Jam and Merriweather Post Pavilion were both universally hailed as masterpieces, earning countless Album of the Year (and even Album of the Decade and Century) accolades. So it made sense that Panda Bear, Avey Tare, Geologist, and Deakin would reconvene and write an album together in the same space for the first time in years on 2012’s Centipede HZ. And it makes even more sense that the album would explore fresh territory, piling high the guitar riffs, piano loops, layered vocals, trance-inducing drums, and countless overdubs in the spirit of their earlier work. And unsurprisingly, it had no effect on their popularity, eliciting praise even from purists who were unhappy about the band’s foray into poppier territory. Before and after Centipede HZ, Animal Collective finally figured out how to slow down, balancing long tours with extended steps back from the limelight — to enjoy the fruits of their accomplishments by curating film and music festivals, to spend time with their young families, and also to indulge in their own individual interests. Avey Tare and Panda Bear both recorded solo albums that wrestled with death, horror, and despair. Individually and as a group, they recorded visual records,
PG. 20 PG. 24 PG. 26 PG. 27
assisted on performance art installations at the Guggenheim, worked on new songs in the same studio where Brian Wilson pored over Pet Sounds and Smile, and backed John Cale for a one-time-only Paris performance of the seminal 1966 album Velvet Underground & Nico. Which kinda says it all about Animal Collective’s most recent album, 2016’s Painting With. The band had Cale contribute a drone-drenched viola part to “Hocus Pocus” and sax impresario Colin Stetson belt out some squelches. But they also worked to eliminate reverb and drawnout ethereal passages nearly everywhere else. Portner, Weitz, and Lennox all told Pitchfork in January that they wanted to make their “Ramones record,” with short songs, a focus on elemental energy and a “homogenous energy.” Said Lennox, “we wanted to do something that blasted away the whole time.” It works, right from the opening bars of the galloping, neon-drenched “FloriDada,” which will surely be a staple of Animal Collective’s upcoming Sunshine State dates. Surprisingly, many critics panned the album’s sing-along nature, its more straightforward use of modular synthesizers, its silly, Golden Girls-sampling “Golden Gal,” and the fact that the album was purposely leaked by looping it through the speakers of Baltimore-Washington International Airport. But catch them live and the rush still remains, hitting all your senses with trippy stained-glass visuals, spine-tingling vocals, and crowd-pleasing beats that rise and fall rhythmically and instill a truly collective feeling for two hours or so each night. “I like the idea of taking over a room with sound and visuals,” Lennox told Consequence of Sound in February. “I like any performance space where the divide between performer and audience is blurred. It isn’t ‘them’ or ‘us,’ it’s just everybody involved in this experience.” Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly.com
ANIMAL COLLECTIVE with ACTRESS
7 p.m. Nov. 12, Mavericks Live, Downtown, $25, mavericksatthelanding.com.
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FOLIO A+E : FILM The latest from director Jeff Nichols’ is the SWEET & SUBDUED story of a 1950’s interracial couple
EMOTIONAL
RESCUE I
aspect (the couple) rather than the more t’s easy to critique overwrought emotions dramatic aspect (civil rights legal battle). in movies about racial tension because In doing so, Nichols makes us privy to the they – both the movies and emotions – are social dynamic of Richard and Mildred’s plentiful. Loving, however, has the opposite family, almost all of whom are readily problem: It’s so subtle and quiet that it’s accepting of his unabashed love for Mildred. underwhelming. Thankfully, strong lead It also leads to an interesting conversation performances from Joel Edgerton and Ruth late in the film in which it’s pointed out that Negga, as well as a still-timely social message, Richard ironically wants to be black, while make this a civil rights lesson worth seeing. (to paraphrase) many blacks at this time Director Jeff Nichols (Mud), who also wish they were white. wrote the screenplay, tells the true story Edgerton is superb as Richard, a hardof Richard and Mildred Loving, who were working, dedicated and loving man who married in Washington D.C. in 1958. They are a loving couple who want to live does whatever he can to make his wife peacefully on the acre of happy, even when it endangers land he just bought for them both. He doesn’t say LOVING them. The problem is they much, but Edgerton effectively ***@ live in Virginia, where it is conveys an inner strength that Rated PG-13 illegal for the white Richard never allows us to doubt the (Edgerton) to be married to solidarity of the marriage. As the black Mildred (Negga). Mildred, Negga is similarly They are arrested, and told it is “God’s Law” quiet, but Mildred is also smarter than that they remain separate. Richard, and realizes the press can be A decade-long legal battle that ends at an asset in helping them live freely in the Supreme Court ensues, and through it Virginia, so she makes use of it when all the Lovings want nothing to do with it. it’s advantageous to them. She also pulls They want to be married and live in their the strings in the house; he may be the home in Virginia, sure, but they have no breadwinner, but Negga’s calm and assured interest in the press, public interest, or even demeanor give us no doubt that Mildred’s the other civil rights issues (at least none the one making the big decisions. are shown). They are simple folks who want Nichols specializes in suburban dramas to be left alone with their three children, (Take Shelter, Shotgun Stories) that allow the and it’s striking that this right is denied to acting and screenplay to carry the load. To be them for so long. sure that is the case in Loving as well, and it A different movie – one obsessed with is a solid drama, but you can’t help but wish the aforementioned histrionic emotions at least some of it was depicted in a more – would’ve made this as much of a legal dynamic and interesting way. drama as it is a love story, so it’s a curious Dan Hudak decision for Nichols to focus on the duller mail@folioweekly.com
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FOLIO A+E : MAGIC LANTERNS
THE WEIRDNESS
FLOWS BETWEEN US Slip inside the truly bizarre The Happiness of the Katakuris
T
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o date, Japanese filmmaker Takashi Miike (age 56) has directed 97 feature films and video productions. With three features already in post-production, his output so far rounds out to 100. That’s impressive by anyone’s standards, especially since Miike is now considered one of the outstanding directors of his generation. The Hateful Eight, by contrast, was proudly touted as the eighth film by Quentin Tarantino, his first (Reservoir Dogs) coming in 1992. Tarantino is three years younger than Miike. My first exposure to Takashi Miike, like many Westerners, was Audition (2001), one of the most effective, chilling, and shocking horror films you might ever want to see. That same year the director carved out seven other films, at least three of which rank right up there with Audition as among his best - Ichi the Killer, Visitor Q, and The Happiness of the Katakuris. The latter was my own second Miike film. Like Audition, the first two films of that trio are extremely graphic and unsettling: typical Miike, you might say. The Happiness of the Katakuris, however, is altogether different — a musical that combines elements of The Sound of Music with black humor, claymation, and dancing zombies. Typical Miike in other words: wildly original and incredibly inventive. Just released on a region-free Blu-ray/DVD from Arrow Video, a UK distributor of cult, classic, and horror films, The Happiness of the Katakuris features a stunning presentation, supplemented by extensive special features and numerous liner notes from film specialists on Miike and Japanese films in general. A re-make of sorts of The Quiet Family, a South Korean film made three years earlier, Miike’s film retains the general plot of the original though liberally infused with the director’s own delightfully unhinged imagination. The Katakuris are a family consisting of the patriarch (Tetsuro Tanba), his son Masao and daughter-in-law Terue (Kenji Sawada & Keiko Matsuzaka), their own son Masayuki and daughter Shizue (Shinji Takeda & Naomi Nishida), and the latter’s five-year-old daughter Yurie (the film’s occasional narrator). And we can’t forget the family pooch, named Pochi. Seeking to bring their troubled family closer both emotionally and financially, Masao buys a house near the foot of Mt. Fuji, transforming it into a bed & breakfast that will hopefully lure plentiful guests once the projected highway is built. Unfortunately, the curiously named “White Lover’s Inn” is located on the site of a toxic dump, the highway plans have been revised, and Mt. Fuji is beginning to rumble ominously. The film’s opening sequence sets the tone, mood, and style. To the tune of operatic music, finely-wrought doors open into an elegant restaurant, the camera following four blind women making their way to a table. The camera stops on a young woman, eagerly dipping into a bowl of soup only to extract
a winged homunculus. As she screams in terror, the visuals switch to claymation, the homunculus eyeing her heart-shaped uvula which appeals to its own hungers, romantic & otherwise. Ripping it out, he flies away, the sequence moving rapidly from one voracious meal ticket to another (a less romantic vision than The Lion King’s “circle of life”) before switching back to live-action as the latest predator is nailed with a well-thrown stick by Grandpa Katakuri, bringing us in contact for the first time with the film’s titular family and their dubious enterprise. When their first guest inexplicably kills himself, the desperate Katakuris decide to bury him rather than risk the notoriety which would surely ruin their enterprise. Their second guests — a sumo wrestler and his underage groupie — suffer a similar fate after he collapses upon her in the “throes of passion.” The third guest, a con-man (Kiyoshiro Imawano) who has convinced the gullible lovelorn Terue that he is actually Queen Elizabeth’s nephew as well as a British secret agent, soon joins the group. The burials end up leading to reburials (in the vein of Hitchcock’s The Trouble with Harry) and finally a dream sequence with the risen zombies in a song and dance routine with the perplexed Katakuris. Indeed, the plot is peppered throughout with spontaneous musical sequences that are as incongruous as they are delightful. Truly one-of-a-kind, The Happiness of the Katakuris is Takashi Miike’s most unusual, and definitely most quirky, film so far, confirming his status as contemporary film’s wild man and maverick. Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com
NOW SHOWING 2016 JCA JEWISH FILM FESTIVAL A carefully curated bill of seven films that carry a special significance and tie to Jewish culture are screened Nov. 13-17, including For the Love of Spock, directed by Adam Nimoy, son of the famous Star Trek actor. Jewish Community Alliance, 8505 San Jose Blvd., 730-2100, jcajax.org. SUN-RAY CINEMA Doctor Strange, Gimme Danger, Do Not Resist and Little Sister are currently running. Arrival starts Nov. 11; 101 Years of Orson Welles: A Touch of Evil plays Nov. 10 & 13. 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ Indignation shows through Nov. 10. Lawrence of Arabia runs for Throwback Thursday at noon Nov. 10. Vita Activa runs Nov. 4-17. Veterans Day Film Festival Nov. 11-13, featuring movies about multiple conflicts and areas of service. 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com. IMAX THEATER Doctor Strange, Inferno IMAX 2D, Deepwater Horizon, Robots 3D, America Wild: National Parks Adventure, A Beautiful Planet and Secret Ocean screen, World Golf Village, St. Augustine, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com. Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them starts Nov. 17.
ARTS + EVENTS PERFORMANCE
NEVER THE SINNER The 5 & Dime, A Theatre Company, stages this retelling of the 1920’s trial of Loeb and Leopold, at 8 p.m. Nov. 11-14 and 17-19 at the Karpeles Manuscript Library Museum, 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992, $20, eventbrite.com. THE MAIDS Flagler College’s Department of Theatre Arts presents their production of Jean Genet’s dark tale, of two sister housemaids who create a bizarre, role-playing ritual, at 7:30 p.m. Nov. 10, 11 and 12 at the school’s Lewis Auditorium, 14 Granada St., St. Augustine, 826-8600, $10, flagler.universitytickets.com. SILENT SKY Amelia Community Theatre stages this comedy, about a female astronomer dealing with early 20th-century prejudices, at 8 p.m. Nov. 10, 11, and 12 at 207/209 Cedar St., Fernandina Beach, 261-6749, $20; $10 for students, ameliacommunitytheatre.org. HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL The First Coast Theatre Company presents Disney’s High School Musical, the song-filled production about some wacky kids, at 7 p.m. Nov. 10, 11, and 12 and 2 p.m. Nov. 12 at First Coast High School, 590 Duval Station Rd., Oceanway, 757-0080, $10, duvalschools.org/fch. MORE PERSPECTIVES Sophomore student dance solos are staged at 6 p.m. Nov. 15 in Douglas Anderson School of the Arts’ dance studios, 2445 San Diego Rd., San Marco, 346-5620, duvalschools.org. ODD SQUAD LIVE! These kids’ faves the hit the tage at 2 and 5 p.m. Nov. 12 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $25-$59, floridatheatre.com. DREAMGIRLS The R&B, soul musical smash is presented at 7:30 p.m. Nov. 11 and 12 and 2:30 p.m. Nov. 13 at Amelia Musical Playhouse, 1955 Island Walkway, Fernandina Beach, 277-3455, $20; $15 for students, through Nov. 20 ameliamusicalplayhouse.com. NOT IN THIS HOUSE Writer-director Troy Nealey’s faithbased play, about a family in turmoil, is staged at 7 p.m. Nov. 12 at The Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 807-2010, $25, ritzjacksonville.com. HAND TO GOD Players by the Sea stages Robert Askins’ darkly comic play, about the forces of good and evil battling in Texas, with sock puppets in the cast, 8 p.m. Nov. 10-12, 17-19 and 2 p.m. Nov. 13, 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach, 249-0289, $23, playersbythesea.org. UNNECESSARY FARCE Orange Park Community Theatre stages this slapstick comedy, about the ins and outs of cops and crooks, 8 p.m. Nov. 11 and 12 and 3 p.m. Nov. 13 at 2900 Moody Ave., 276-2599, $18; $10 students; through Nov. 20, opct.info. THE GAME’S AFOOT (or HOLMES FOR THE HOLIDAYS) The current popularity Sherlock Holmes is enjoying is further elevated with this holiday-tinged whodunit at 7:30 p.m. Nov. 10, 8 p.m. Nov. 11 and 12 and 2 p.m. Nov. 13 at Theatre Jacksonville, 2032 San Marco Blvd., 396-4425, $25; $20 seniors, military, students; staged through Nov. 20, theatrejax.com. ANNIE GET YOUR GUN Alhambra Theatre & Dining presents the raucous musical about a young woman who never misses her target; through Nov. 20. Dinner 6 p.m.; brunch noon; themed menu by Executive Chef DeJuan Roy; Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $35-$62 plus tax, 641-1212, alhambrajax.com.
CLASSICAL & JAZZ
RICK KIRKLAND and FRIENDS Drummer Kirkland and music friends perform at 7:30 p.m. Nov. 10 at Jacksonville University’s Phillips Fine Arts Black Box Theater, 2800 University Blvd. N., Arlington, 256-7386, $10; $5 for seniors, military and students, arts.ju.edu. CHAMBER MUSIC RECITAL The Douglas Anderson School of the Arts’ recital is held 7:30 p.m. Nov. 10 at the campus recital hall, 2445 San Diego Rd., San Marco, 346-5620, duvalschools.org. ALICIA OLATUJA Jazz vocalist Olatuja performs at 8 p.m. Nov. 11 at The Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 807-2010, $35-$40, ritzjacksonville.com. THE DREAM OF GERONTINUS The Jacksonville Symphony presents, Elgar’s classic tale of life, death, and the meaning of it all (woah!) at 8 p.m. Nov. 11 and 12 at the Times-Union Center’s Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 Water St., Downtown, 354-5547, $27-$77, jaxsymphony.org. CLEVELAND INTERNATIONAL PIANO COMPETITION The 2016 Cleveland International Piano Competition is held at 2 p.m. Nov. 13 at Flagler College’s Lewis Auditorium, 14 Granada St., St. Augustine, 797-2800, $30, emmaconcerts.com. GARY SMART Pianist Gary Smart performs at 3 p.m. Nov. 13 at Main Library’s Hicks Auditorium, 303 N. Laura St., Downtown, 630-2353, jplmusic.blogspot.com. MIDORI KUGOTA Violinist Midori Kugota performs at 7:30 p.m. Nov. 14 at University of North Florida’s Recital Hall, 1 UNF Dr., Southside, 620-2878, unf.edu/coas/music/ calendar.aspx. RIVER CITY RHYTHM KINGS This New Orleans and Chicago-style jazz combo performs at 7 p.m. Nov. 14 at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., St. Nicholas, 352-7008, $5; free for students, raylewispresents.com. JU FACULTY PIANO TRIO The JU Faculty Piano Trio performs at 7:30 p.m. Nov. 15 at Jacksonville University’s Terry Concert Hall, 2800 University Blvd. N., Arlington, 256-7386, $10; $5 for seniors, military and students, arts.ju.edu. WIND SYMPHONY and CONCERT BAND CONCERT This symphonic concert is featured at 7:30 p.m. Nov. 15 at University of North Florida’s Lazzara Performance Hall, 1 UNF Dr., Southside, 620-2878, $10, unf.edu/coas/music/ calendar.aspx. SAX IN THE LIBRARY Saxophonist Melvin Smith performs a wide-ranging repertoire at 6:30 p.m. Nov. 16 at the Headquarters Library 1895 Town Center Blvd., Fleming Island, 278-3722, claycountygov.com. JU JAZZ COMBOS and JAZZ ORCHESTRA Student jazz students perform at 7:30 p.m. Nov. 16 at Jacksonville University’s Phillips Fine Arts Black Box Theater, 2800 University Blvd. N., Arlington, 256-7386, arts.ju.edu.
COMEDY
RICH GUZZI Comedian-hypnotist Guzzi, who blends adult humor and, uh, hypnosis, appears 7:30 p.m. Nov. 9 and 10, and 7:30 and 9:45 p.m. Nov. 11 and 12 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, 292-4242, $12-$15, comedyzone.com. RON FEINGOLD Funnyman Feingold appears at 8 p.m. Nov. 11 and 8 and 10:30 p.m. Nov. 12 at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-4277, $15-$27, jacksonvillecomedy.com. TRACY MORGAN SNL alum and star of 30 Rock Tracy Morgan appears at 7:30 p.m. Nov. 12 at Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts, 283 College Dr., Orange Park, 276-6750, $43-$73, thcenter.org. FRED’S ALL-STAR COMEDIANS Spike, Ozrick Cooley, and others are on at 7:30 p.m. Nov. 16 at The Comedy Zone, $10, comedyzone.com.
CALLS & WORKSHOPS
APEX THEATRE STUDIO ONE-DAY WORKSHOPS Alexis Black teaches a stage combat course, 10:30 a.m.-1 p.m. Nov. 11; $35; limited to 12 students/class. Proceeds benefit the studio’s Grab The Mic fundraiser for stage production sound equipment at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall. Details/ register at apextheatrejax.com. NEW TOWN URBAN FARM Urban Geoponics and New Town are developing a large community garden at Pearce and West Third streets, in the New Town/Edward Waters area, Northside. It will provide fresh produce and a hands-on, open-air center of learning for the community and area students. Urban Farm meets 10 a.m.-1 p.m. every Sun. Details, call Diallo-Sekou at 706-284-9808.
ART WALKS & MARKETS
JAX BEACH ART WALK More than 30 local artists display works, 5-9 p.m. every second Tue., along First Street between Beach Boulevard and Fifth Avenue North, Jax Beach, betterjaxbeach.com/jax-beach-art-walk.html. ART REPUBLIC The Art Republic mural expo features the work of 12 international muralists as well as two local artists. At press time, the collected muralists include James Reka, INO, Felipe Pantone, Waone Interesni Kazki, Case Maclaim, Cycle, Guido Van Helten, Rene Romero Schuler, Astrograff, Jeremy Penn, Kenor, Nico Holderbaum, Phlegm, and Mobarick. Events for the expo include a haute couture fashion show, artist lecture series, a pilot season dinner, and family geared events in Hemming Park, from Nov. 11-13 in downtown Jacksonville. For a full schedule of events and a map of the murals, go to artrepublicjax.org. ST. AUGUSTINE BEACH ARTS & CRAFTS FESTIVAL This arts festival, featuring arts and crafts vendors, as well as food, takes place from 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Nov. 12 and 10 a.m.4 p.m. Nov. 13 at the St. Johns County Pier Park, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., (352) 344-0657, tnteventsinc.com. RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Local, regional art, music — Mark Shine, Navy Band Southeast VIP Combo, Old Souls 10:30 a.m. Nov. 12 — under the Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com. ARTRAGEOUS ART WALK Downtown Fernandina Beach galleries are open for self-guided tours, 5:30-8:30 p.m. every second Sat., 277-0717, ameliaisland.com.
MUSEUMS
AMELIA ISLAND MUSEUM OF HISTORY 233 S. Third St., Fernandina, 261-7378, ameliamuseum.org. It Came from the Attic: The Lesesne House is currently on display. CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 29 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummermuseum.org. Fabio Costa, a featured designer of Folk Couture: Fashion and Folk Art and star of Project Runway: Season 10, discusses his own practice of creative innovation, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Nov. 10. $40 for nonmembers; $30 for members. David Ponsler: Chasing Shadows, is on display through Oct. 4. Folk Couture: Fashion & Folk Art, works by 13 artists inspired by Folk Art Museum, displays through Jan. 1. Lift: Contemporary Expressions of the African American Experience, works of local artists Thony Aiuppy, Glendia Cooper, Ingrid Damiani, Overstreet Ducasse, Dustin Harewood, Marsha Hatcher, Hiromi Moneyhun, Princess Rashid, Chip Southworth, Roosevelt Watson III, through Feb. 12. KARPELES MANUSCRIPT LIBRARY MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992, rain.org/~karpeles/jax.html. An exhibit of photographic works by Will Dickey, staff photographer for The Florida Times-Union, is on display through Dec. 30. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911, mocajacksonville.unf. edu. The opening reception for Leaves: Recent Prints & Sculpture by Donald Martin is held from 6-8 p.m. Nov. 10. The exhibit is on display through Jan. 22. Retro-Spective: Analog Photography in a Digital World, contemporary photographers exploring 19th-century photographic processes, displays through Jan. 8. WORLD GOLF HALL OF FAME & MUSEUM 1 World Golf Pl., St. Augustine, 940-4133, worldgolfhalloffame.org. Grace & Grit – Women Champions Through the Years is on display.
GALLERIES
THE ART CENTER GALLERY Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 139, 233-9252, tacjacksonville.org. The Little Rembrandts Show, artwork by kids in grades K-8, is on display through Dec. 2. Princess Simpson Rashid is the featured artist for Nov. BUTTERFIELD GARAGE ART GALLERY 137 King St., St. Augustine, 825-4577, butterfieldgarage.com. The exhibit Fusion, featuring a contemporary collaborative of art glass and photography, is on display through Nov. 29. CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530, flagler.edu/news-events/crispellert-art-museum. Auditory-themed exhibit Sound, displays through Nov. 22. THE CULTURAL CENTER AT PONTE VEDRA BEACH 50 Executive Way, 280-0614, ccpvb.org. Splashes of a Colorful Life, abstract works by Dottie Dorion, and Shadows, turned wood works by Ed Malesky, are on display through Nov. 11.
NOVEMBER 9-15, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23
FOLIO A+E : ARTS
TRACY
MORGAN,
SERIOUSLY
The much-loved comedian brings the RAW AND REAL on his life and career
D
on’t call it a comeback. Because judging by the way that Tracy Morgan is moving, he never really left. From his first stage on the streets of his native Bronx, where he began riffing comedy, to his days as a cast member on SNL, and his Emmy Award-nominated role as Tracy Jordan on 30 Rock, Morgan has been bringing his endearing and idiosyncratic approach to comedy. Morgan, who turns 48 on Nov. 10, is both a show biz veteran and straight-up survivor. On June 7, 2014, Morgan and seven others were passengers in a minibus traveling from the comedian’s gig in Delaware. A driver in a Walmart tractor-trailer dozed off and slammed into the minibus, killing Morgan’s 62-year-old friend and comedian, James McNair. Morgan suffered serious injuries, including a brain injury, and was in a coma for weeks. Morgan successfully sued Walmart and won an undisclosed settlement amount. Now Morgan is returning to the road with his “Tracy Morgan: Picking Up the Pieces” tour, including a Nov. 12 appearance at the Thrasher-Horne Center for the Performing Arts in Orange Park. Folio Weekly penned a few dozen questions for the much-loved comedian, expecting a slice of his stage persona, a phone-in “performance,” perhaps. Instead Morgan was terse, semi-gloomy, blunt and, above all, real, a rare thing in the saccharine-sweet world of show biz. Folio Weekly: So you kick off your tour tomorrow night in San Diego. Do you psych yourself up for a tour or just kind of let it go and let it all happen? Tracy Morgan: Most of the time I let it happen. I psych myself up but I make sure I don’t psych myself out. Psyched up is one thing but being psyched out is another. When you’ve been doing it so long, 23 to 24
24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 9-15, 2016
years, you’ve got to prepare. When you’re prepared, fine. So the tour is called, “Picking Up the Pieces.” I imagine that you’re going to talk about the accident and your recovery. I talk about the experiences I’ve had in my life for 47 years. Not just the accident. That’s not my career; that’s just something that happened. I’ve had a bunch of things happen since then.
understand that. The truth is gonna be the truth all around the world. Lies hurt. We don’t laugh at lies; we cringe at them. You do a lot of things; you’re an actor, you do standup, and you do sketch comedy. Is there one of these places where you feel most creative? No. I just think they’re all different muscles that stretch. I try to be in every aspect of show business and entertainment.
So you feel like you’re exercising all of those equally in your life right now? How has it been working the accident into I feel I do. I exorcise my demons in all of your comedy? those things. It’s been like any other thing. It’s still Tracy Morgan Standup: I’ll take the bad things and I saw that you have a new comedy on TBS turn ’em good in my life. It’s like any other thing that sounds cool. What’s that all about? that I’ve done in my life. Any door that’s ever Aw man, it’s gonna be great. slammed, any tragic accident? It’s going to be like nothing I’ll just turn it funny. Because you’ve ever seen on TV. Me if you don’t laugh about it, TRACY MORGAN you’re gonna cry about it. I’m and Jordan Peele [of Key & 7:30 p.m. Nov. 12, ThrasherHorne Center for the Arts, Orange through crying. Peele], I came to him with an Park, $43-$73, thcenter.org. idea, and he got on board, and What are some of the it’s going to be our vision… funniest things that you’ve we’re gonna have a good time. taken from such a serious ordeal? It’s going to be really funny and really good. You’d have to come to the show. I won’t reveal my material on the phone! What’s the point of You left a really strong sitcom legacy in your coming to see my standup? role as Tracy Jordan on 30 Rock. Were there any sitcom characters from when you were [Laughing] Okay, I understand. It seems growing up that inspired your approach? like a lot of your comedy is total stream of Well…I don’t know about that. Listen; when I consciousness. It’s almost beyond improv left show business for a while, what people felt since it can seem almost disconnected but it was a void. There’s only one Tracy Morgan in totally works. How do you work with that this world. And when he was gone for that little style of humor? bit of time, there was a void. Nobody could fill Well, the thing about it is that it’s the truth. that void. And now I’m back. The void is filled. That’s what I’m up there doing is the truth. And people feel completed in comedy. I learned that from Richard [Pryor.] It’s the open wound technique. Most people in the Okay. You sure are a bulletproof dude — audience can identify and relate with it. That’s you’ve survived a kidney transplant, booze, why they laugh - because it’s the truth. We all the wreck…
Well, as long as I do it in the spirit of God, I’m protected. As long as I do comedy in the spirit of Jackie Gleason, Lucille Ball, Richard Pryor, George Carlin…all of those comedy gods that came before me? I’m protected. Has your comedy changed greatly due to what’s happened in the last few years? Everything evolves. The reason that the dinosaurs ain’t here no more? They didn’t evolve quick enough. I’m evolving. I’m not the same person I was two seconds ago. I’m all that and a bag of chips. I’m all that and then some. You weren’t the same as when you picked up the phone with me. Because now you have insight into Tracy Morgan. You know how you got that? No. How? You spoke to me. And we rapped. We rapped on it. You rapped on it. That’s what’s missing. Back in the day, artists used to rap on it. Let’s rap a taste, man! Human beings used to talk. They’d connect. Now it’s technology. You’re a pretty unfiltered person, and especially raw onstage. What are your feelings about today, working in the world that now is more politically correct? I don’t deal with that. I do me. I learned from Richard Pryor and real is real. I do it the way I see the messiah do it: Richard Pryor. Charlie Chaplin would’ve done it the same way if they had noise back then. I don’t get with none of that. I’m a 47-year-old man and nobody’s gonna tell me how to do me. Profanity is just another language but we’re in the age of dumbing down. And I ain’t dumbing down for nobody. That politically correct is just another control mechanism. If you don’t like it, don’t come to my fuckin’ show. Daniel A. Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com
OVERSET
OFF THE WALL
The inaugural Art Republic expo features the work of 12 international and two local street artists (including German artist Case Maclaim, pictured, whose mural is featured at 25 W. Forsyth St.) and is held Nov. 11-13 in downtown Jacksonville. For a full schedule of events and a map of the murals, go to artrepublicjax.org.
ARTS + EVENTS DEERWOOD CENTER CAMPUS FSCJ, 9911 Old Baymeadows Rd., 997-2500, fscj.edu. Donald Martin: Leaves of Grass, inspired by Whitman’s poem, displays through Dec. 1. FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928, firststreetgalleryart.com. The 17th Annual Christmas Ornament Show is on display Nov. 11-Dec. 24. Watercolorist Sandra Baker Hinton’s Coastal Colors is on display through Jan. 4. FLORIDA MINING GALLERY 5300 Shad Rd., Southside, 535-7252, floridamininggallery.com. The opening reception for Identity and Abstraction, featuring works by Michael Hunter, Christina West, and Alex Jackson, is held at 7 p.m. Nov. 11. GALLERY 1037 Reddi-Arts, 1037 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville, 398-3161, jacksonvilleartistsguild.org. The Jacksonville Artists Guild (JAG) presents the exhibit Les Quatre Amis, featuring works by Princess Rashid, Annelies Dykgraaf, Cookie Davis and Marsha Hatcher, through December. HUBLEY GALLERY 804 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 429-9769. Mary Hubley’s Toescape displays. KENT CAMPUS GALLERY FSCJ, 3939 Roosevelt Blvd., 646-2300, fscj.edu. An exhibit of abstract paintings by Virginia Cantore and furniture by Peter Blunt displays through Nov. 14. MAGNOLIA’S PUB 1190 Edgewood Ave. S., Murray Hill, 240-1574, magnoliaspub.com. Portrait art by Kevin Arthur is featured during November. MONROE GALLERIES 40 W. Monroe St., Downtown, 881-0209, monroegalleries.com. Works by Jami Childers, Barbie Workman, Amber Angeloni, Zara Harriz, Amber Bailey and First Coast Plein Air Painters are displayed. MONYA ROWE GALLERY 4 Rohde Ave., St. Augustine, monyarowegallery.com. Tropic Apparition, new works by painter Amy Lincoln, are on display through Dec. 18. NASSAU COUNTY LIBRARY 25 N. Fourth St., Fernandina, 277-7365, nassaureads.com. The Art of the Japanese Print, from the Christine and Paul Meehan Collection, is on display through Dec. 30. PLUM GALLERY 10 Aviles St., St. Augustine, 825-0069, plumartgallery.com. New works by painter Sara Pedigo and assemblage artist Barbara J. Cornett display through February. ROTUNDA GALLERY St. Johns County Admin. Bldg., 500 San Sebastian View, St. Augustine, 471-9980. The Betty Griffin Center: A Day Without Violence exhibit is featured through Jan. 26. SO GALLERY The DeLO, 420 Broad St., Downtown, 901-5515, sublimeoriginal.com. The exhibit Life is Beautiful: An Exhibition of Works by Linda Broadfoot, Jim Draper, Thomas Hager, Chris Leidy and Steven Lyon, displays through Jan. 9. SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY Bank of America Tower, 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 150, 438-4358, southlightgallery.com. Anna Reynolds-Patterson and S.J. Lane are the featured artists; the works of 18 collaborative members are also also featured.
ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., 824-2310, staaa.org. The exhibit Florida Forever! is on display through Dec. 31. THRASHER-HORNE CENTER FOR THE ARTS 283 College Dr., Orange Park, 276-6750, thcenter.org. New works by David Ouellette and Jennifer Tallerico are on display through Dec. 14. UNF NORTH GALLERY OF ART Founders Hall, Bldg. 2, Room 1001, 1 UNF Dr., Southside, 620-2534, unf.edu/gallery. A Sound Installation by Eric Deluca is featured 7:30-10:30 p.m. Nov. 14. The Pre[Serve] Juried Exhibition is on display through Nov. 18. THE VAULT @ 1930 1930 San Marco Blvd. The gallery grand opening is held from 4-9 p.m. Nov. 11.
EVENTS
JCA JEWISH BOOK FESTIVALThe annual festival, featuring discussions and book-signings with Jonathan Rabb, Ina Pinkney, Jennifer S. Brown, Claudia Kalb and Josh Aronson, continues through Nov. 10 at 8505 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin. For complete schedule, go to jcajax.org/bookfest. JAX BY JAX Jax by Jax returns this year with readings by 25 local authors, including Jim Alabiso, Tricia Booker, RaeJeana Brooks, Fred Dale, Frances Driscoll, Bill Ectric, Katherine Espano, Joe Flowers, Sohrab Fracis, Liz Gibson, Tim Gilmore, Nan Kavanaugh, Grant Kittrell, Matthew Lany, Johnny Masiulewicz, Emily K. Michael, Marcus Pactor, Ebony PayneEnglish, Heather Peters, Andres Rojas, Caleb Sarvis, Sean T. Smith, Mark Stewart, Marisella Veiga, and Jeff Whipple, along with a student showcase and after-party and book-signing, from 2-9 p.m. Nov. 12, at various locations in Riverside, for a full list of readings and venues, go to jaxbyjax.com. LARRY STEELE BOOK SIGNING Author Larry Steele, author of As I Recall…Jacksonville’s Place in American Rock History, signs copies of his book from 4-6 p.m. Nov. 12 at Clark’s Music Center, 5539 Roosevelt Blvd., Westside, 738-7111, clarksmusiccenter.com. AUTHORS STEPHANIE DRAY AND LAURA KAMOIE Authors Stephanie Dray and Laura Kamoie talk about and sign copies of their novel, America’s First Daughter, at 7 p.m. Nv. 12 at The BookMark, 220 First St., Neptune Beach, 241-9026, bookmarkbeach.com. AN EVENING with NEIL DeGRASSE TYSON Astrophysicist, cosmologist, author, and all-around brainiac, Neil deGrasse Tyson speaks about what will most likely be some “heavy stuff” at 7 p.m. Nov. 14, The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $69.50-$89.50, floridatheatre.com. AWARD-WINNING AUTHOR SPEAKS IN ST. AUGUSTINE Marcia Fine speaks about her latest book, Sephardic Journey, at 7 p.m. Nov. 14 at the Flagler Room of the Old Ponce de Leon Hotel, 74 King Street at Cordova Street, Flagler College, St. Augustine, 829-6481, flagler.edu. _____________________________________________
To list an event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price, contact number to print to Daniel A. Brown – email dbrown@folioweekly.com or mail, 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Items run as space is available. Deadline noon Wed. for next Wed. printing.
NOVEMBER 9-15, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25
FOLIO A+E : MUSIC
U
nderstanding the divergent perspectives of those around us can be difficult — never more so than in this great polarized year of 2016. But with this year’s Puberty 2, Japanese-American indie rocker Mitski Miyawaki has given the world perhaps the most impactful sonic statement yet on what it’s like to be, well, Mitski: a confident if sometimes confused 20-something woman navigating the 21st-century pitfalls of romance, gender, and loneliness, along with the social constructs that surround them. Mitski’s take on such topics is informed by an unusual kind of experience: She spent her childhood bouncing between 13 different countries (including Japan, Malaysia, China, Turkey, the Democratic Republic of Congo) before setting in New York City, where she started playing music. Studying studio composition at SUNYPurchase, she experimented with electronica, orchestral arrangements, and acerbic lyricism (see second album Retired from Sad, New Career in Business). But 2014’s Bury Me at Makeout Creek and Puberty 2 honed her swirling, hypnotic attack to a sharp point that cuts immediately through the fog, particularly on recent singles “Happy” and “Your Best American Girl.” “I just felt like, by this fourth record, I knew how recording an album worked and I knew what outcome I wanted going into the process,” Mitski tells Folio Weekly. “I think I was just more decisive and confident from having had more experience.” And that extra confidence has resulted in gushing press for Puberty 2: features in outlets as diverse as Elle and NPR, along with a recent appearance on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, where she performed her own music and sat in with Jon Batiste and his band for the duration of the show. “It was so different from anything I’d experienced,” Mitski says. “I went in, met the house band day of, had one hour to go over five of my songs that they’d never played before, and then went live right after. The adrenaline rush was crazy!”
Yet Mitski insists that all the glitz and glamour exist only on the surface, and that she remains a hard-working musician today, just as she has been since college. “It probably looks from the outside like my life has changed, but it really hasn’t,” she says. “All that
Desire, chaos, sex, power, control — if these are the most common emotions that define the human condition, Mitski seems preternaturally in command of all of them, even as she accepts the fact that it’s OK for life to get messy sometimes. As she told NPR earlier this year, “I don’t think I’m alone in this: I’m obsessed with trying to not only be happy but maintain happiness, but my definition of happiness is skewed more towards ecstasy rather than contentment. Ecstasy can’t last forever, so there’s the inevitable comedown from that.” Another inevitable comedown? Critical interpretations of Mitski’s music that entirely miss the mark. After she released the video for “Your Best American Girl,” in which Mitski and a dreamy guy make eyes at each other until a Coachella-ready hipster girl invades the scene, hundreds of outlets gleefully held it up as a statement on the homogeneity of white indie culture. Mitski cautioned against such a broad reading, but also admitted that people saw the discussions of race and gender embedded in the video: “I have been pleasantly surprised by how so many strangers have seemed to understand what I meant.” But still, there’s only so much we can assume we know about someone who retains such control over her career. She tells FW that she has yet to find a higher state of being than performing: “[That] human sensation has been similar for all humans as long as humans have performed, so I doubt it would change for me.” And when asked about whether her current marathon tour makes her homesick, she says, “I don’t get homesick because I have no home.” Whatever it is that Mitski is looking for, hopefully she keeps exploring it in song and on stage — here’s a situation where the old adage “the journey is more important than the destination” is devastatingly true. “I hope I find a place I’ll belong,” she finishes. “But we’ll see. No one on earth is free from social constructs as long as they live in society.” Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly.com
NATURAL
WOMAN Japanese-American INDIE ROCKER Mitski blazes a confident, confrontational, confessional trail
26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 9-15, 2016
MITSKI with FEAR OF MEN and WEAVES 7 p.m. Nov. 13, Jack Rabbits, San Marco, $10, jaxlive.com
buzz happens online, but my day to day is still the same. I don’t enjoy any particular luxuries — I’m just busier and there are now more people at my shows.” But clearly those people are connecting with something raw — in Mitski’s voice, which retains a haunting quality even as it rises and falls. In her howling instrumentation, which mashes up the best of ‘90s grunge, ‘00s rock, and ‘10s intersectionality. And in her words, which cut straight to the quick (take the song “A Loving Feeling”: “What do you do with a loving feeling / If the loving feeling makes you all alone?”)
Austin, Texas guitar maestro ERIC JOHNSON performs Nov. 16 at the Ponte Vedra Concert Hall.
LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK SPADE McQUADE 6 p.m. Nov. 9, Fionn MacCool’s Irish Pub, Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247. TOOTS & the MAYTALS 7 p.m. Nov. 9, Mavericks Live, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 356-1110, $22. THE INTERRUPTERS, BAD COP BAD COP, CHIEFORIA 7 p.m. Nov. 9, Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $12. RUSHMOREFL, KID YOU NOT, THE MOCK TOXINS, CHUCK DOUGHTY 8 p.m. Nov. 9, Shanghai Nobby’s, 10 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 547-2188. DOOMSTRESS, BLACK MASS, LA-A 8 p.m. Nov. 9, Shantytown Pub, 22 W. Sixth St., Springfield, 798-8222, $5. CRAIG CAMPBELL 8 p.m. Nov. 9, Greater Jacksonville Agricultural Fair, free with fair admission. CARCASS, DEAFHEAVEN, INTER ARMA 7 p.m. Nov. 10, 1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St., Downtown, $25. EVANESCENCE, SICK PUPPIES 7 p.m. Nov. 10, St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., 209-0367, $39.50-$74. Larry Mangum’s Songwriters’ Circle: HEIDI HOLTON, TOM EDWARDS 7:30 p.m. Nov. 10, Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., St. Nicholas, 352-7008, $10. REEVE CARNEY, COMPLICATED ANIMALS 8 p.m. Nov. 10, Jack Rabbits, $10. RAELYNN 8 p.m. Nov. 10, Greater Jacksonville Agricultural Fair, 510 Fairgrounds Place, Downtown, free with fair admission, jacksonvillefair.com. 3 THE BAND 9 p.m. Nov. 10, Flying Iguana, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680. UNIVERSAL SIGH, THE OBSERVATORY, MICHAEL JORDAN 10 p.m. Nov. 10, Planet Sarbez, 115 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 342-0632. The DOOBIE BROTHERS, The FABULOUS THUNDERBIRDS 7 p.m. Nov. 11, St. Augustine Amphitheatre, $54-$94. BLEAK, MINDFIELD, CONSEQUENCE 8 p.m. Nov. 11, Rain Dogs, 1045 Park St., Riverside, 379-4969. GREAT GOOD FINE OK, DREAMERS 8 p.m. Nov. 11, Jack Rabbits, $10. FOGHAT 8 p.m. Nov. 11, Greater Jacksonville Fair. THE DARRELL WEBB BAND 8:30 p.m. Nov. 11, The Original Café Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311, $12 advance; $15 at the door. DANGER MOUSE 9 p.m. Nov. 11, Mardi Gras Sports Bar, 123 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine, 823-8806. LOVE MONKEY 9:30 p.m. Nov. 11 & 12, Whiskey Jax, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Southside, 634-7208. Riverside Arts Market: MARK SHINE, NAVY BAND SOUTHEAST VIP COMBO, OLD SOULS 10:30 a.m. Nov. 12, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449. CHRIS YOUNG, DUSTIN LYNCH, CASSADEE POPE 7 p.m. Nov. 12, St. Augustine Amphitheatre, $49.50-$59.50. ANIMAL COLLECTIVE 7 p.m. Nov. 12, Mavericks Live, $25.
LIQUID STRANGER, BLEEP BLOOP, PERKULATOR, SHLUMP 8 p.m. Nov. 12, Jack Rabbits, $17. A Benefit for Veterans: LEE GREENWOOD, INSIPIENT 3 p.m. Nov. 13, St. Augustine Amphitheatre, $25-$55. STEPH GEREMIA, ALAN KELLY 7 p.m. Nov. 13, Mudville Music Room, $15. MITSKI, FEAR OF MEN, WEAVES 8 p.m. Nov. 13, Jack Rabbits, $17. WAR 8 p.m. Nov. 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., 209-0399, $43.50 (SRO). THE BASTARD SUNS 8 p.m. Nov. 14, Jack Rabbits, $10 advance; $15 day of. THIEVERY CORPORATION, TAUK 7 p.m. Nov. 15, Mavericks Live, $40. JIMKATA, A VIBRANT LYE 8 p.m. Nov. 15, 1904 Music Hall, $8 advance; $10 day of. COAST 2 COAST INTERACTIVE SHOWCASE 8 p.m. Nov. 15, Jack Rabbits, $10. BRONCHO, PLASTIC PINKS, FAZE WAVE 8 p.m. Nov. 16, Jack Rabbits, $10. FUNK YOU 8 p.m. Nov. 16, 1904 Music Hall, $8 advance; $10 day of. ERIC JOHNSON 8 p.m. Nov. 16, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, $43-$53. ETANA 8 p.m. Nov. 16, Mavericks Live, $15.
UPCOMING CONCERTS The Elbow Jam: WHOLE WHEAT BREAD, TOMBOI, WISE RIVER, BIGFOOT BAREFOOT, DR. SCIENCE, AARON LEBOS REALITY, BROOKLYN MIKE and others Nov. 17, at various venues in Downtown Jacksonville DAVISSON BROTHERS BAND Nov. 17, Café Eleven GALACTIC, THE HIP ABDUCTION Nov. 17, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BOB DYLAN & HIS BAND Nov. 18, Times-Union Center SAVION GLOVER Nov. 18, The Florida Theatre YELLOWCARD, DRYJACKET Nov. 18, Mavericks Live WVRM Fest 4: YOUNG AND IN THE WAY, CULTURE KILLER, SHROUD EATER, HEXXUS, SPACE CADAVER, 25 more Nov. 18 & 19, 1904 Music Hall Swamp Radio: KATHERINE ARCHER, DUFFY BISHOP, UNNAMED TRIO Nov. 19, St. Augustine Amphitheatre WONDER YEARS, REAL FRIENDS Nov. 19, Mavericks Live NELLIE McCAY Nov. 19, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ENTER THE HAGGIS Nov. 20, Café Eleven MANNHEIM STEAMROLLER Nov. 21, Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts An Evening with DAVID CROSBY Nov. 21, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall STEVE VAI Nov. 23, The Florida Theatre FANTASIA, GUORDAN BANKS, LA’PORSHA RENAE Nov. 25, Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts
AARON TILL Nov. 26, Mudville Music Room OWEL, THE SOIL & THE SUN Nov. 27, 1904 Music Hall KENNY G Nov. 28, The Florida Theatre QUEENSRYCHE, ARMORED SAINT Nov. 29, Mavericks Live DREAM THEATER Nov. 29, The Florida Theatre JIMMIE VAUGHAN Nov. 30, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PERPETUAL GROOVE Nov. 30, Mavericks Live CALIFORNIA GUITAR TRIO Dec. 1, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BOYZ TO MEN Dec. 1, Thrasher-Horne Center PATRICK BARTLEY Dec. 1, Ritz Theatre DAVE KOZ & FRIENDS CHRISTMAS, VALERIE SIMPSON, KENNY LATIMORE, JONATHAN BUTLER Dec. 1, The Florida Theatre Winter Formal: THE 1975, PHANTOGRAM, SILVERSUN PICKUPS, GLASS ANIMALS, COIN Dec. 2, St. Augustine Amphitheatre THE STANLEY CLARKE BAND Dec. 2, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SARA EVANS Dec. 2, The Florida Theatre SAM PACETTI Dec. 2, Mudville Music Room TONY JOE WHITE, MERE WOODARD Dec. 3, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ROCK ’N’ ROLL HOLIDAY SHOW Dec. 3, The Florida Theatre TRAVIS TRITT Dec. 4, The Florida Theatre NIYKEE HEATON Dec. 4, Mavericks Live TAYLOR HICKS Dec. 7, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PIERCE PETTIS Dec. 8, Mudville Music Room Elio’s Quartet: ELIO PIEDRA, LIVAN MESA, YUNIOR ARRONTE, YORGIS GOIRICELAYA Dec. 10, Ritz Theatre CHRIS LANE Dec. 10, Mavericks Live A Peter White Christmas: RICK BRAUN, EUGE GROOVE Dec. 11, The Florida Theatre THE OAK RIDGE BOYS Dec. 13, The Florida Theatre EDWIN McCAIN Dec. 14, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA Dec. 15, Veterans Memorial Arena GRIFFIN HOUSE Dec. 18, Café Eleven JACKIE EVANCHO Dec. 21, The Florida Theatre DONNA THE BUFFALO, BUTCH TRUCKS & THE FREIGHT TRAIN BAND Dec. 29, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SHEN YUN 2017 Jan. 3 & 4, Times-Union Center MICHAEL BOLTON Jan. 11, The Florida Theatre DAMIEN ESCOBAR Jan. 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall WIMPY RUTHERFORD & THE CRYPTICS Jan. 13, Shanghai Nobby’s HENRY ROLLINS Jan. 14, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall LOS LOBOS Jan. 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PINK MARTINI Jan. 17, The Florida Theatre Winter Jam: CROWDER, BRITT NICOLE, TENTH AVENUE NORTH, ANDY MINEO, COLTON DIXON, THOUSAND FOOT KRUTCH, NEWSONG, OBB, SARAH REEVES, STEVEN MALCOLM Jan. 17, Veterans Memorial Arena MIKE DOUGHTY Jan. 18, Jack Rabbits JEANNE ROBERTSON Jan. 21, The Florida Theatre
NOVEMBER 9-15, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27
LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC
“Guess what? We forgot how to play ‘Slow Ride’!” Classic rock kings FOGHAT perform Nov. 11 at the Greater Jacksonville Fair, Downtown.
ELVIS LIVES Jan. 24, Times-Union Center GLADYS KNIGHT Jan. 25, The Florida Theatre KATHLEEN MADIGAN Jan. 27, The Florida Theatre J BOOG, JEMERE MORGAN Jan. 27, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall LEON RUSSELL Jan. 28, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall KENNY ROGERS, LINDA DAVIS Jan. 28, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Performing Arts THE BEACH BOYS Jan. 28, The Florida Theatre VOCALOSITY Feb. 1, The Florida Theatre CHRISTIE DASHIELL Feb. 2, Ritz Theatre ARLO GUTHRIE Feb. 2, The Florida Theatre TOM RUSH Feb. 3, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PAT METHENY, ANTONIO SANCHEZ, LINDA OH, GWILYM
SIMCOCK Feb. 3, The Florida Theatre SARA WATKINS Feb. 4, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BOSTON POPS ESPLANDE ORCHESTRA Feb. 4, TimesUnion Center for the Performing Arts GAELIC STORM Feb. 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall G. LOVE & SPECIAL SAUCE Feb. 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall TAJ MAHAL Feb. 10, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall The BABES Feb. 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall Lincolnville Porch Fest: CHELSEA SADDLER, TELEPATHIC LINES, RIVERNECKS, THE WOBBLY TOMS, GHOST TROPIC, AMY HENDRICKSON, SAND FLEAS, ROBBIE DAMMIT & THE BROKEN STRINGS, NESTA, RAMONA QUIMBY, KYLE WAGONER, EARLY DISCLAIMERS,
LONESOME BERT & THE SKINNY LIZARDS, KENSLEY STEWART, THE WILLOWWACKS, ASLYN & THE NAYSAYERS Feb. 12, St. Augustine UNDER THE STREETLAMP Feb. 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall AL DI MEOLA Feb. 14, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ANDY McKEE Feb. 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THREE DOG NIGHT, AMERICA Feb. 16, The Florida Theatre THE PAUL THORN BAND Feb. 17, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE PIANO GUYS Feb. 17, The Florida Theatre TOBYMAC, MATT MAHER, MANDISA, MAC POWELL, CAPITAL KINGS, RYAN STEVENSON, HOLLYN Feb. 17, Veterans Memorial Arena TRAE CROWDER, COREY RYAN FORESTER, DREW MORGAN Feb. 18, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SOUTHSIDE JOHNNY & THE ASBURY JUKES Feb. 19, The Florida Theatre COLIN HAY Feb. 22, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall JOE BONAMASSA Feb. 22, The Florida Theatre MINDI ABAIR Feb. 23, Ritz Theatre MANHATTAN TRANSFER, TAKE 6 Feb. 23, Florida Theatre FOREIGNER, KANSAS Feb. 24, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ELIZABETH COOK, DALE WATSON Feb. 24, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall OLD 97’s, BOTTLE ROCKETS Feb. 25, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall DENNIS DeYOUNG, Jacksonville Rock Symphony Orchestra Feb. 26, The Florida Theatre AGENT ORANGE, GUTTERMOUTH, THE QUEERS, THE ATOM AGE Feb. 26, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Backyard Party TAJ EXPRESS Feb. 28, Times-Union Center MARC COHN March 1, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE WEIGHT, members of The Band March 3, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall LUCINDA WILLIAMS March 4, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SPYRO GYRA March 5, The Florida Theatre KODO March 11, The Florida Theatre CLINT BLACK March 12, The Florida Theatre THE CHARLIE DANIELS BAND March 16, The Florida Theatre GET THE LED OUT March 17, The Florida Theatre ADAM SAVAGE, PILOBOLUS SHADOWLAND March 21, The Florida Theatre I Love The ’90s Tour: VANILLA ICE, NAUGHTY by NATURE, SUGAR RAY’S MARK McGRATH, BIZ MARKIE, ALL-4-ONE, YOUNG MC March 24, St. Augustine Amphitheatre CHEYENNE JACKSON March 24, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall 1964: The TRIBUTE March 25, St. Augustine Amphitheatre AIR SUPPLY March 26, The Florida Theatre JIM BRICKMAN March 31, The Florida Theatre RICK THOMAS April 1, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ANA POPOVIC April 5, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall LITTLE RIVER BAND, Jacksonville Rock Symphony Orchestra April 7, The Florida Theatre ANDRAE MURCHINSON April 8, Ritz Theatre BUDDY GUY, THE RIDES (Stephen Stills, Kenny Wayne Shepherd, Barry Goldberg) April 9, St. Augustine Amphitheatre CHRIS BOTTI April 18, The Florida Theatre MJ LIVE! April 20-23, Times-Union Center TOWER OF POWER April 22, The Florida Theatre ERIC CHURCH May 5, Veterans Memorial Arena BASTILLE May 7, St. Augustine Amphitheatre TIM McGRAW & FAITH HILL Sept. 16, Veterans Memorial Arena DELFEAYO MARSALIS Sept. 29, Riverside Fine Arts Series
LIVE MUSIC CLUBS
AMELIA ISLAND + FERNANDINA ALLEY CAT Beer House, 316 Centre St., 491-1001 John Springer every Thur. Brian Ernst every Fri. LA MANCHA, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646 Miguel Paley 5:30-9 p.m. every Fri.-Sun. Javier Parez every Sun. SLIDERS Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652 King Eddie & Pili Pili 6 p.m. Nov. 9. Tad Jennings Nov. 10. Milltown Road Nov. 11. Melissa Smith Band, Davis Turner Nov. 12. Arvid Smith Nov. 13. Live music Nov. 14. Mark O’ Quinn Nov 15. SURF Restaurant, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711. Black Jack Band every Fri.
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LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC
AVONDALE + ORTEGA CASBAH Café, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores 8 p.m. every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music 9 p.m. every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free 9 p.m. every Tue. & Thur. Indie dance 9 p.m. every Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance every Fri. MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200 Live music every Thur.-Sat.
THE BEACHES (All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted)
BLUE TYPHOON, 2309 Beach Blvd., 379-3789 Live music most weekends. BLUE WATER Island Grill, 205 First St. N., 249-0083 Live music every weekend. BRASS ANCHOR Pub, 2292 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0301 Live music most weekends. FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 3 the Band 9 p.m. Nov. 3. Live music 10 p.m. Nov. 11 & 12. Darren Corlew 8:30 p.m. Nov. 13. Live music every weekend. GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925 Groov 7:30 p.m. every Wed. Murray Goff every Fri. Under the Bus every Sat. Gene Nordan 6 p.m. every Sun. HARBOR TAVERN, 160 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, 246-2555 Live music most weekends. LYNCH’S Irish Pub, 514 First St. N., 249-5181 The Firewater Tent Revival 10 p.m. Nov. 11. Austin Park 10 p.m. Nov. 12. Split Tone every Thur. Chillula every Fri. Be Easy every Mon. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 Third St. N., 241-5600 Oklahoma Stackhouse 9 p.m. Nov. 10. Live music every weekend. MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573 Gypsies Ginger every Wed. Mike Shackelford, Steve Shanholtzer every Thur. Mezza Shuffle every Mon. Trevor Tanner every Tue. RAGTIME Tavern, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877 Live music every Wed.-Sun. SOUTHERN GROUNDS & CO., 200 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-2922 Live music most weekends ZETA BREWING, 131 First Ave. N., 372-0727 Live music every Thur.-Sat.
ENZA’S Italian Restaurant, 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 109, 268-4458 Brian Iannucci Nov. 9. IGGY’S SEAFOOD SHACK, 104 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 101, 209-5209 DJ Greg every Wed.
CAMDEN COUNTY, GA.
ORANGE PARK + MIDDLEBURG
CAPTAIN STAN’S SMOKEHOUSE, 700 Bedell Dr., Woodbine, 912-729-9552 Acoustic music 6:30 p.m. every Sat.
DEE’S Music Bar, 2141 Loch Rane Blvd., Ste. 140, 375-2240 Live music most weekends. DJ Daddy-O every Tue. The HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael on the piano every Tue.-Sat. The ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Live music every weekend. SHARK Club, 714 Park Ave., 215-1557 Live music most weekends.
DOWNTOWN
Larry Mangum’s Songwriters’ Circle features performances by North Carolina blues artist HEIDI HOLTON (pictured) and TOM EDWARDS Nov. 10 at Mudville Music Room, St. Nicholas.
JERRY’S, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766 Boogie Freaks 7:30 p.m. Nov. 11.
MANDARIN
1904 MUSIC Hall, 19 Ocean St. N. Carcass, Deafheaven, Inter Arma 7 p.m. Nov. 10. Jimkata, A Vibrant Lye 8 p.m. Nov. 15. FUNK YOU 8 p.m. Nov. 16. DE REAL TING, 128 W. Adams St., 633-9738 Live music most weekends. DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 DJ Brandon every Thur. DJ NickFresh every Sat. DJ Randall every Mon. DJ Hollywood every Tue. FIONN MacCOOL’S IRISH PUB, Jax Landing, 374-1247 Spade McQuade 6 p.m. Nov. 9. Live music every Fri. & Sat. HOURGLASS Pub, 345 E. Bay St., 469-1719 Catcher in the Rye, No Self, Denied Til Death Nov. 5. Cardinal Slinky, Mr. Never & the Scars Nov. 8. JACKSONVILLE Landing, 353-1188 Radio Love 8 p.m. Nov. 11. Boogie Freaks 8 p.m. Nov. 12 418 Band 4 p.m. Nov. 13 MARK’S Downtown, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Dr. Doom 10 p.m. every Fri. DJ Shotgun 10 p.m. every Sat. MAVERICKS LIVE, Jax Landing, 356-1110 Toots & the Maytals 7 p.m. Nov. 9. Animal Collective 7 p.m. Nov. 12. Thievery Corporation, Tauk 7 p.m. Nov. 15. Etana 8 p.m. Nov. 16. Joe Buck, DJ Justin every Thur.-Sat. MYTH Nightclub, 333 E. Bay St., 707-0474 DJs Lady Miaou, Booty Boo, Cry Havoc, Some Dude 9 p.m. Glitz Wed. Q45, live music Wed. EDM every Thur. Eric Rush every Fri. DJ IBay Sat. Bangarang & Crunchay Sun. THE VOLSTEAD, 115 W. Adams St., 414-3171 Swing Dance Sundays 7 p.m. every Sun.
ACROSS THE STREET, 948 Edgewood Ave. S., 683-4182 Live music most weekends. BRIXX, 220 Riverside Ave., 300-3928 Live music Thur. & Fri. HOBNOB, 220 Riverside Ave., Ste. 10, 513-4272 Live music every Fri. MURRAY HILL Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave., 388-7807 Lybecker, About the Author, With Every Wind, Bekah Wilson 7:30 p.m. Nov. 12. NIGHTHAWKS, 2952 Roosevelt Blvd. Live music most weekends. RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969 Bleak, Mindfield, Consequence 8 p.m. Nov. 11. UNITY PLAZA, 220 Riverside Ave., 220-5830 Live music most every weekend.
FLEMING ISLAND
ST. AUGUSTINE
MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999 Live music most weekends. WHITEY’S Fish Camp, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Live music every Thur.-Sun.
CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 T.J. Brown, OH NO! Nov. 11. Billy Buchanan, “Beautiful Bobby” Blackmon & the B3 Blues Band Nov. 12, Vinny Jacobs Nov. 13. MARDI GRAS, 123 San Marco Ave., 823-8806 Danger Mouse 9 p.m. Nov. 11. DJ Rob St. John every Wed. The ORIGINAL CAFE ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311 The Darrell Webb Band 8:30 p.m. Nov. 11.
INTRACOASTAL CLIFF’S Bar & Grill, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162. Open mic every Tue. Live music most weekends.
PONTE VEDRA BEACH PUSSER’S GRILLE, 816 A1A, 280-7766 Live music most weekends. TABLE 1, 330 A1A, 280-5515 White Hot Champagne Nov. 9. Gary Starling Jazz Band Nov. 10. Tier 2 7:30 p.m. Nov. 11. Robbie Litt Nov. 12.
RIVERSIDE + WESTSIDE
SHANGHAI NOBBY’S, 10 Anastasia Blvd., 547-2188 Rushmorefl, Kid You Not, The Mock Toxins, Chuck Doughty 8 p.m. Nov. 9. TRADEWINDS LOUNGE, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Carrick, Wilson Hunter Band every Wed. JP Driver every Thur. Elizabeth Roth every Sat. Keith Godwin & the Rio Grande Band every Sun. Mark Hart, DVB every Mon. Mark Hart, Those Guys every Tue. Live music every night.
SAN MARCO JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Reeve Carney, Complicated Animals Nov. 10. Great Good Fine Ok, Dreamers Nov. 11. Liquid Stranger, Bleep Bloop, Perkulator, Shlump Nov. 12. Mitski, Fear Of Men, Weaves Nov. 13. The Bastard Suns Nov. 14. Coast 2 Coast Interactive Showcase Nov. 15. Broncho, Plastic Pinks, Faze Wave 8 p.m. Nov. 16 MUDVILLE Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Larry Mangum’s Songwriters’ Circle: Heidi Holton, Tom Edwards Nov. 10. Steph Geremia, Alan Kelly Nov. 13
SOUTHSIDE + BAYMEADOWS GREEK STREET CAFÉ, 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 503-0620 Tavernalive 6 p.m. every Mon. MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955 Barret Jockers 8 p.m. Nov. 10. Ryan Crary 8 p.m. Nov. 11. Darren Corlew 8 p.m. Nov. 12 WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., 634-7208 Love Monkey 9:30 p.m. Nov. 11 & 12. Smith open mic every Thur. Blues jam every Sun. Country jam every Wed.
SPRINGFIELD + NORTHSIDE The BIRDHOUSE, 1827 N. Pearl St., 634-7523 Live music most weekends. The HEADLAMP, 818 Clay St. Live music every Fri. & Sat. MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 15170 Max Leggett Parkway, 757-8843 Live music most every weekend. SANDOLLAR, 9716 Heckscher Dr., 251-2449 Live music every Fri.-Sun. SHANTYTOWN PUB, 22 W. Sixth St., 798-8222 Doomstress, LA-A 8 p.m. Nov. 9.
_________________________________ To list your band’s gig, please send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price, and a contact number to print to Daniel A. Brown, email dbrown@folioweekly.com or by the U.S. Postal Service, 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Events run on a space-available basis. Deadline is at noon every Wednesday for the next Wednesday’s publication.
NOVEMBER 9-15, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 29
FOLIO DINING Fresh, delicious seafood and friendly, personal service keep the locals coming back to Ragtime Tavern Seafood & Grill in Atlantic Beach. photo by Dennis Ho
AMELIA ISLAND FERNANDINA BEACH
29 SOUTH EATS, 29 S. Third St., 277-7919, 29southrestaurant.com. Historic downtown bistro’s Chef Scotty Schwartz serves traditional regional cuisine with a modern twist. $$ L Tu-Sa; D M.-Sa; R Sa BEACH DINER, 2006 S. Eighth St., 310-3750, beachdiner. com. Innovative breakfast: Eggs on the Bayou, fish-n-grits; French toast, riders, omelets. Lunch fare: salads, burgers, sandwiches, shrimp & crabmeat salad. $ K TO B R L Da ily BRETT’S Waterway Café, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F On the water at Centre Street’s end, it’s Southern hospitality in an upscale atmosphere; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo.com. F In historic building, family-owned café has worldly fare, made-from-scratch dressings, sauces, desserts, sourcing fresh greens, veggies, seafood. Dine inside or al fresco under oak-shaded patio. Microbrew Karibrew Pub next door has beer brewed onsite, imports. $$ FB K TO R, Su; L Daily, D Tu-Su in season CHEZ LEZAN Bakery Co., 1014 Atlantic Ave., 491-4663, chezlezanbakery.com. Fresh European-style breads, pastries: croissants, muffins, cakes, pies. $ TO B R L Daily The CRAB TRAP, 31 N. Second St., 261-4749, ameliacrabtrap .com. F Nearly 40 years, family-owned-and-operated. Fresh local seafood, steaks, specials. HH. $$ FB L D Daily DAVID’S Restaurant & Lounge, 802 Ash St., 310-6049, amelia islanddavids.com. Steaks, fresh seafood, rack of lamb and ribeye, Chilean sea bass, in an upscale atmosphere. Chef Wesley Cox has a new lounge menu. $$$$ FB D Nightly DICK’S Wings & Grill, 474313 E. S.R. 200, 310-6945. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK.
JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddianes cafe.com. F Renovated 1887 shotgun house. Faves: jambalaya, French toast, pancakes, mac & cheese, crêpes. Vegan items. Inside or porch overlooking historic area. $$ BW K TO B L D Daily La MANCHA, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646. Spanish, Portuguese fare, Brazilian flair. Tapas, seafood, steaks, sangria. Drink specials. AYCE paella Sun. $$$ FB K TO D Nightly LARRY’S Subs, 474272 S.R. 200, 844-2225. F SEE ORANGE PARK. LECHONERA EL COQUÍ, 232 N. Second St., 432-7545. New Puerto Rican place. Chulleta kan kan (pork chops), Tripletta churosco sandwich, more. $ FB TO L D Tu-Su MOON RIVER Pizza, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moonriverpizza.net. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Authentic Northern-style pizzas, 20+ toppings, pie/slice. Calzones, salads. $ BW TO L D M-Sa The MUSTARD SEED Café, 833 Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Casual organic eatery, juice bar,
DINING DIRECTORY KEY AVERAGE ENTRÉE COST $ $$
< $10 $ 10-$20
$$$ $$$$
$
20-$35 > $35
ABBREVIATIONS & SPECIAL NOTES BW = Beer/Wine FB = Full Bar K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch
L = Lunch D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted Free Folio Weekly Bite Club Event F = Folio Weekly Distribution Spot
To list your restaurant, call your account manager or call or text SAM TAYLOR, Folio Weekly publisher, at 904-860-2465 (email: staylor@folioweekly.com). 30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 9-15, 2016
in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juices, herbal teas, coffees, daily specials. $$ K TO B L M-Sa The PATIO PLACE, 416 Ash St., 410-3717, patioplacebistro. com. Bistro/wine bar/crêperie’s menu of global fare uses crêpes: starters, entrées, shareables, desserts. $$ BW TO B L D Tu-Su The PECAN ROLL Bakery, 122 S. Eighth St., 491-9815, thepecanrollbakery.com. F By historic district. Sweet/ savory pastries, cookies, cakes, bagels, breads; from scratch. $ K TO B L W-Su POINTE Restaurant, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabeth pointelodge.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. In award-winning inn Elizabeth Pointe Lodge. Seaside dining, open to public. Dine in or out. Hot buffet breakfast daily, full lunch menu. Homestyle soups, specialty sandwiches, salads, desserts. $$$ BW K B L D Daily The SALTY PELICAN Bar & Grill, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. 2nd-story outdoor bar. Owners T.J. & Al offer local seafood, fish tacos, Mayport shrimp, po’boys, cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Oceanfront. Award-winning handmade crabcakes, fried pickles, fresh seafood. Open-air 2nd floor, balcony, playground. $$ FB K L D Daily T-RAY’S Burger Station, 202 S. Eighth St., 261-6310. F Family-owned-and-operated 18+ years. Blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L M-Sa
ARLINGTON + REGENCY
DICK’S Wings, 9119 Merrill Rd., Ste. 19, 745-9300. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK.
LARRY’S GIANT Subs, 1301 Monument Rd., Ste. 5, 724-5802. F SEE ORANGE PARK. SID & LINDA’S Seafood Market & Restaurant, 12220 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 109, 503-8276. Pick a whole fresh fish, have it cleaned, filleted, cooked to order. Dine in, take out. Housemade sauces. $$ K TO L D Daily
AVONDALE + ORTEGA
CHOMP CHOMP, 4162 Herschel St., 329-1679. Just relocated. Chef-inspired: The Philadelphia Experiment (sweet pork over arugula), panko-crusted chicken, burgers, Waldorf salad, bahn mi, Southern fried chicken, The Come Up (portabella mushroom, green tomato salsa, almonds). Curry Chomp chips, pasta salad. HH. $ BW L D Mon.-Sat. The FOX Restaurant, 3580 St. Johns Ave., 387-2669. Owners Ian and Mary Chase offer fresh fare, homemade desserts. Breakfast all day; signature items: burgers, meatloaf, fried green tomatoes. $$ BW K L D Daily HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, harpoonlouies.net. F Locally owned & operated 20+ years. American pub. 1/2-lb. burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta. Local beers, HH. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200. F Bite Club. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.
PINEGROVE Market & Deli, 1511 PineGrove Ave., 389-8655, pinegrovemarket.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. 40+ years. Burgers, Cubans, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher, USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. Fri. & Sat. fish fry. $ BW TO B L D M-Sa Restaurant ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaurant orsay.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. French/Southern bistro; local organic ingredients. Steak frites, mussels, pork chops. $$$ FB R, Su; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simplysaras.net. F Down-home fare from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Tu-Sa, B Sa
BAYMEADOWS
AL’S Pizza, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.
INDIA’S Restaurant, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajax.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Authentic cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetables, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L M-Sa; D Nightly LARRY’S Giant Subs, 8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F SEE ORANGE PARK.
METRO Diner, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., 425-9142. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE SAN MARCO.
NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 11030 Baymeadows Rd., 260-2791. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE MANDARIN. The WELL Watering Hole, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9, 737-7740, thewellwateringhole.com. Local craft beers, glass/
DINING DIRECTORY
BEACHES (Venues are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)
AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0002, als pizza.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. NY-style gourmet pizzas, baked dishes. 28+ years. All day HH M-Thu. $ FB K TO L D Daily ANGIE’S Subs, 1436 Beach Blvd., 246-2519. ANGIE’S Grom Subs, 204 Third Ave. S., 241-3663. Subs made with fresh ingredients, 25+ years. Huge salads, blue-ribbon iced tea. Grom has Sun. brunch, no alcohol. $ K BW TO L D Daily BEACH DINER, 501 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 249-6500. SEE AMELIA. BEACH HUT Café, 1281 Third St. S., 249-3516. 28+ years. Full breakfast menu served all day (darn good grits); hot plate specials Mon.-Fri. $ K TO B R L Daily CRUISERS Grill, 319 23rd Ave. S., 270-0356, cruisersgrill. com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Locally owned & operated 20+ years. Half-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, big salads, awardwinning cheddar fries, sangria. $ BW K TO L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001, europeanstreet.com. F SEE RIVERSIDE. FAMOUS TOASTERY, 311 N. Third St., 372-0712, famous toastery.com. New place has breakfast and lunch: corned beef hash, gluten-free pancakes, bacon, omelets, eggs, toast. Wraps, Bloody Marys, mimosas, peach Bellini. $$ FB K TO B L Daily The FISH COMPANY Restaurant, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 12, AB, 246-0123, thefishcojax.com. Bite Club. Casual. Oyster raw bar, fresh local seafood, Mayport shrimp, crab, lobster. Homestyle desserts. Patio; all-day HH Sun. $$ FB K TO L D Daily FLAMING SEAFOOD & SHAO KAO BBQ, 1289 Penman Rd., 853-6398. New place (is it Chinese? Barbecue? Seafood?) serves meats and vegetables, spiced, skewered on bamboo sticks – like Chinese street food. $ BW TO L D Daily FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & TEQUILA BAR, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680, flyingiguana.com. F Latin American: tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana fare. 100+ tequilas. $ FB TO L D Daily GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925, gustojax.com. Classic Old World Roman cuisine, large Italian menu: homestyle pasta, beef, chicken, fish delicacies; open pizza-tossing kitchen. Reservations encouraged. $$ FB TO L R D Tu-Su The HASH HOUSE, 610 Third St. S., 422-0644, thelovingcup hashhouse.com. New place offers locally sourced fare, locally roasted coffees, gluten-free, vegan, vegetarian dishes – no GMOs or hormones. $ K TO B R L Daily LARRY’S SUBS, 657 Third St. N., 247-9620. F SEE ORANGE PARK. MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 1018 Third St. N., Ste.
GRILL ME!
healthful, locally sourced clean meals. Gluten-free, vegan, vegetarian options. $$ TO L D W-Sa V PIZZA, 528 First St. N., 853-6633, vpizza.com. Traditional Neapolitana artisan pizza from Naples – Italy, not Florida, made with fresh ingredients. $$ FB TO L D Daily
FLEMING ISLAND
DICK’S WINGS, 1803 East-West Parkway, 375-2559. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK.
GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 1915 East-West Parkway, 541-0009. F SEE RIVERSIDE. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999. F Bite Club. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.
TAPS Bar & Grill, 1605 C.R. 220, Ste. 145, 278-9421, tapspub lichouse.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. 50+ premium domestic, import tap beers. Burgers, sandwiches, entrées. $$ FB K L D Daily WHITEY’S Fish Camp, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteysfish camp.com. F Real fish camp. Gator tail, freshwater catfish, daily specials, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar. Come by boat, bike or car. $ FB K TO L Tu-Su; D Nightly
Moon River Pizza
1176 Edgewood Ave., Murray Hill Born in: Offenbach, Germany Years in the Biz: 12 Fave Restaurant: Meatball Factory NYC Fave Cuisine Style: Sushi Fave Ingredients: Adobo, garlic, pepper, virgin olive oil Ideal Meal: Rice and beans with tuna steak or chicken Will Not Cross My Lips: Crabs Insider's Secret: Work hard, play harder! Celeb Sighting (at my place): First Coast News' Ken Amaro Taste Treat: Pecan pralines
Winner. SEE SAN MARCO.
M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-2599, mshackburgers. com. David and Matthew Medure flip burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes. Dine in or out. $$ BW L D Daily NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 1585 Third St. N., 458-1390. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE MANDARIN. POE’S Tavern, 363 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7637, poestavern. com. Gastropub, 50+ beers, burgers, fries, fish tacos, Edgar’s Drunken Chili, daily fish sandwich special. $$ FB K L D Daily RAGTIME TAVERN SEAFOOD & GRILL, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F 30+ years, iconic seafood place. Blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily HH, brunch Sun. $$ FB L D Daily SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 1018 Third St. N., 372-4456, saltlifefoodshack.com. Specialty items, tuna poke bowl, fresh sushi, Ensenada tacos, local fried shrimp. $$ FB K TO L D Daily SEACHASERS, 831 First St. N., 372-0444, seachasers.com. New place; four areas: First Street Bar, Music Room, Beach Bar, Dining Room. Daily HH. In or on patio. $$ FB L D Daily SLIDERS SEAFOOD GRILLE & OYSTER BAR, 218 First St., NB, 246-0881, slidersseafoodgrille.com. Beach-casual spot. Faves: Fresh fish tacos, gumbo. Key lime pie, ice cream sandwiches. Brunch Sun. $$ FB K L Sa/Su; D Nightly SURFWICHES Sandwich Shop, 1537 Penman Rd., 241-6996, surfwiches.com. Craft sandwich shop. Yankee-style steak sandwiches, hoagies, all made to order. $ BW TO K L D Daily THIS CHICK’S KITCHEN, 353 Sixth Ave. S., 778-5404, thischickskitchen.com. Farm-to-table restaurant serving
WETTER
DOWNTOWN
AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 21 W. Church St., 665-7324. 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 125, 446-3119, akelsdeli.com. F NYC-style deli. Fresh subs, sandwiches, burgers, gyros, wraps, vegetarian, breakfast, signature dressings. $ K TO B L M-F CANDY APPLE CAFÉ & COCKTAILS, 400 N. Hogan, 353-9717, thecandyapplecafeandcocktails.com. Chef-driven Southern/ French cuisine, sandwiches, entrées, salads. $$ FB K L Daily; D Tu-Sa CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth St., 356-8282, casadoraitalian. com. F Chef Sam Hamidi serves Italian fare, 40+ years: veal, seafood, pizza. Homemade salad dressing. $ BW K L M-F; D M-Sa FIONN MACCOOL’S IRISH PUB & RESTAURANT, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1547, fionnmacs.com. Casual dining, uptown Irish atmosphere; fish & chips, Guinness lamb stew, black-andtan brownies. $$ FB K L D Daily INDOCHINE, 21 E. Adams St., Ste. 200, 598-5303, indochine jax.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Thai, Southeast Asian cuisine. Signature dishes: chicken Satay, soft shell crab; mango, sticky rice dessert. $$ FB TO L D M-F; D Tu-Sa OLIO Market, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com. F From-scratch soups, sandwiches. Duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L M-F; D F & Sa URBAN GRIND COFFEE COMPANY, 45 W. Bay, Ste. 102, 866-395-3954, 516-7799, urbangrind.coffee. Locally roasted whole bean brewed coffees, espressos, pastries, smoothies, bagels, cream cheeses. Chicken/tuna salad, sandwiches. WiFi. $ B L M-F. URBAN Grind Express, 50 W. Laura, 516-7799. SEE ABOVE. ZODIAC BAR & GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283, thezodiacbarandgrill.com. 16+ years. Mediterranean cuisine, American fare, paninis, vegetarian dishes. Daily lunch buffet. Espressos, hookahs. HH M-F $ FB L M-F; D W-Sa
MIGUEL SIMMONSVALENZUELA
2, 241-5600, mellowmushroom.com. F Bite Club. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Hoagies, gourmet pizzas: Mighty Meaty, vegetarian, Kosmic Karma. 35 tap beers. Nonstop HH. $ FB K TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 1534 3rd St. N., 853-6817. F 2016 Best of Jax
BITE-SIZED DOWN WHERE IT’S
INTRACOASTAL WEST
AL’S Pizza, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.
DICK’S Wings, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 32, 223-0115. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK.
GERMAN SCHNITZEL HAUS, 13475 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 40, 221-9700, germanjax.com. Authentic German/fusion fare: schnitzels, plus bratwurst, stroganoff, käsesspätzle. 13 German beers in bottles, on tap. Bar bites, cocktails. Outdoor BierGarten. HH Tu-Thur. $$ FB L & D Tu-Su LARRY’S, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980. F SEE O.PARK. SURFWICHES Sandwich Shop, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 29, 559-5301. SEE BEACHES.
MANDARIN, NW ST. JOHNS
AKEL’S DELI, 12926 Gr +nbay Pkwy. W., 880-2008. F SEE DOWNTOWN.
AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.
BEACH Diner, 11362 San Jose Blvd., 683-0079. SEE AMELIA. CRUISERS, 5613 San Jose Blvd., 737-2874. 2016 Best of Jax
Winner. SEE BEACHES.
DICK’S WINGS, 100 Marketside Ave., 829-8134. 965 S.R. 16, 825-4540. 1610 University Blvd. W., 448-2110. 10391 Old St. Augustine, 880-7087. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. ENZA’S ITALIAN RESTAURANT, 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 109, 268-4458, enzas.net. Family-owned place serves Italian cuisine, veal, seafood, specials. $$$ FB K TO D Tu-Su FIRST COAST Deli & Grill, 6082 St. Augustine Rd., 733-7477. Pancakes, bacon, sandwiches, burgers, wings. $ K TO B L Daily JAX DINER, 5065 St. Augustine Rd.,739-7070. New spot serves local produce, meats, breads, seafood. $ TO B L Daily
photo by Brentley Stead
bottle wines. Meatloaf sandwich, pulled Peruvian chicken, vegan black bean burgers. $$ BW K TO L M-F; D Tu-Sa TEQUILAS, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 101, 363-1365, tequilasjacksonville.com. New Mexican place has casa-style dishes made with fresh, spicy hot ingredients. Vegetarian option. Top-shelf tequilas, drink specials. $$ FB K TO L D Daily WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 135, 634-7208, whiskeyjax.com. Gastropub. Craft beers, gourmet burgers, handhelds, street fare tacos, signature plates, whiskey. HH. $$ FB L D F-Su; D Nightly
‘Life is THE BUBBLES’ at Ocean Bar & Grille SO, YOU’VE SPENT THE DAY AT THE BEACH (because winter’s coming, right!?) and now you’re ready for some grub and some drinks, but you don’t feel like leaving the beach to get them. You want a spot that’s on the water, but you’re not packing any Pub subs, so where to go? There are several great options, but in Jax Beach, close to the pier, Ocean Bar & Grille off First Street North and Third Avenue North has the market cornered. Ocean B&G has a great view, seafood aplenty, and inexpensive margaritas. Which, in my mind, is all you can ask of a beach spot. Pull up a table from the ample outdoor seating, grab a menu and order yourself a margarita. If you’re really feeling a marg, choose the OG Margarita ($10.99), which has top-shelf tequila like Don Questo Añejo, or OB&G’s signature three-dollar margarita — which, yes, costs three dollars. If you’re not in the mood for salt, lime and tequila, there’s a plethora of other quaffs. The upscale but relaxed lounge has a large drink menu, with delights like OG Painkiller ($9) and OG Starburst ($8). Ocean Bar & Grille has standard fare that may look familiar, but its beachside atmosphere can’t be beat. The full menu baits us with Florida beach cuisine — think steamed buckets of seafood, a variety of oysters, fried bites, and fish tacos. A featured appetizer is gator tail bites ($11.99), so it’s a great place to take out-oftown relatives who might squeal with joy (and a little bit of trepidation) at the prospect of eating some local reptilian fare. Each plate has about 10 pieces of gator tail, fried in a peppery coating, which readily prompts that “tastes likes chicken” comparison. The order includes a side of dipping sauce — “swamp sauce”
BITE-SIZED
OCEAN BAR & GRILLE
333 First St. N., Jax Beach, 701-3765, oceangrille.net/jaxbeach — to complete the true Florida experience. Garnish with a squeeze of lemon for a more sophisticated feel, or save the lemon to really get that “Sun-In” feel. Remember how you were just lounging on the beach, all hungry? The lovely view doesn’t change, but now you can actually be scarfing down those seafood tacos that were hitherto just a dream. Taco options are fish ($6.99), shrimp ($6.99) or scallop ($8.99), blackened. It’s two tacos to an order; each of the scallop tacos had two decentsized marine bivalve mollusks (aka scallops — see, learning can be delicious). The mahi sandwich ($13.99) is the perfect companion for any beachside outing. The mahi is served blackened, with a choice of fries, sweet fries or tater tots. That’s right, tater tots! I may sound like a starving adolescent, but there’s something about tater tots that just brings happiness to any palate. I’m quite sure I’ll always be impressed when a restaurant offers The Tots. Relax at your almost-beachside table and score another margarita, or mix it up and go for the OG Starburst; there’s no rush on a beach day. Take in the sea breeze, then head home to bundle up for a wicked winter … well, sorta. Brentley Stead biteclub@folioweekly.com NOVEMBER 9-15, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 31
DINING DIRECTORY PINT-SIZED
A toast to bubbly blly WEDDING TRADITIONS
METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Organic soups, baked items, sandwiches, prepared foods. Juice, smoothie, coffee bar. All-natural organic beer/wine. $ BW TO K B L D Daily TAPS BAR & GRILL, 2220 C.R. 210 W., Ste. 314, 819-1554. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE FLEMING ISLAND.
HERE COMES THE
BEER
FOR MORE THAN 4,000 YEARS, BEER HAS played a major role in wedding celebrations. While November may seem a bit out of season to talk about nuptial traditions, I have a very good reason to have matrimony on my mind: My only daughter is marrying her fiancé this weekend. So, for that reason — and the fact that some of the traditions are interesting — a wedding theme is perfect for this week’s column. Let’s put one bit of misinformation to bed. There are many articles about the origins of the word “bridal.” Many believe it’s a combination of two Anglo-Saxon words: brýd and ealo. The words do translate to “bride-ale,” but in this case, “ale” doesn’t mean beer, according to British beer historian and journalist Martyn Cornell. It means “a festival or merry-meeting at which much ale was drunk.” Now let’s look at some truly interesting wedding beer traditions. About 400 miles east of Moscow lies the Chuvash Republic, or Chuvashia, a federal subject of Russia. In the 18th century, the Chuvash people practiced a wedding tradition in which the bride, covered in a veil, hid behind a screen. After a short period of time, the bride would solemnly emerge into view as young girls brought her beer, bread and honey. After she’d circled the room three times, the groom would enter, snatch the bride’s veil, kiss her and exchange rings. From that moment, the bride would be called schourasnegher, or betrothed girl, and be expected to distribute beer, bread and honey to the wedding guests. In Germany, there’s a tradition of the Nuernberg Wedding Cup. Legend has it that the daughter of a wealthy nobleman fell in love with a lowly goldsmith. The father had the young man thrown in the dungeon to keep him from marrying his daughter. Still in love with the goldsmith, the young fräulein began to waste away. The nobleman set forth a challenge to the dashing metalworker: Craft a chalice from which two people could drink beer without spilling a drop. The prize? Miss Thing in matrimony. The goldsmith sculpted a smiling girl with upraised arms holding a bucket set on a swivel. As the primary vessel, the skirt she wore was hollowed out. Held with the skirt opening up, both the skirt and the bucket were filled. As the first drinker sipped from the skirt, the second could drink from the small bucket on the swivel, with nary a splash. The challenge met, the lovers were married. Today, many German weddings feature a Nuernberg Wedding Cup as a romantic nod to the power of true love, and love of beer. In medieval times, Irish custom was for the newlyweds to drink mead for an entire month after their wedding. Mead, brewed from fermented honey, was thought to endow powers of virility and fertility. The word “honeymoon” comes from this practice; obviously, honey for the mead and moon for the month-long — or one lunar cycle — celebration. These are only two of the many global wedding traditions that feature beer. This weekend, there’ll be beer at my daughter’s wedding, but the only tradition I expect to follow is to raise a cold glass of it to toast her and and my new son-in-law. Marc Wisdom marc@folioweekly.com
PINT-SIZED
V PIZZA, 12601 San Jose Blvd., 647-9424. SEE SAN MARCO. WHOLE FOODS MARKET, 10601 San Jose, Ste. 22, 288-1100, wholefoodsmarket.com. Prepared-food department, 80+ items, full-service/self-service bars: hot, salad, soup, dessert. Pizza, sushi, sandwich stations. Grapes, Hops & Grinds bar serves wines, beers (craft/tap), coffees. $$ BW K TO B L D Daily
ORANGE PARK
DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 6055 Youngerman Cir., 778-1101, dickswingsandgrill.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. NASCARthemed restaurant serves 365 varieties of wings, plus halfpound burgers, ribs, salads. $ FB K TO L D Daily THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959, hilltop-club.com. Southern fine dining. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. Extensive bourbon selection. $$$ FB D Tu-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 165, 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 15, 272-3553. 5733 Roosevelt, 446-9500. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove, 284-7789, larryssubs.com. F All over the area, Larry’s piles ’em high, serves ’em fast; 36+ years. Hot & cold subs, soups. Some Larry’s serve breakfast. $ K TO B L D Daily METRO DINER, 2034 Kingsley Ave., 375-8548. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611, roadhouseonline.net. Sandwiches, wings, burgers and quesadillas for 35+ years. 75+ imported beers. $ FB L D Daily THE URBAN BEAN COFFEEHOUSE CAFÉ, 2023 Park Ave., 541-4938, theurbanbeancoffeehouse.com. Locally-owned-&operated. Coffee, espresso, smoothies, teas. Omelets, bagels, paninis, flatbread, hummus, salads, desserts. $$ K TO B L D Daily
PONTE VEDRA BEACH
AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A, 543-1494. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.
BEACH DINER, 880 A1A N., Ste. 2, 273-6545. SEE AMELIA. LARRY’S SUBS, 830 A1A N., Ste. 6, 273-3993. F SEE O.PARK. METRO DINER, 340 Front St., Ste. 700, 513-8422. F 2016
photo by Dennis Ho
Best of Jax Winner. SEE SAN MARCO.
TRASCA & CO. EATERY, 155 Tourside Dr., Ste. 1500, 395-3989, trascaandco.com. Handcrafted Italian-inspired sandwiches, craft beers (many locals), craft coffees. $$ BW TO L R D Daily
RIVERSIDE, 5 PTS + WESTSIDE
13 GYPSIES, 887 Stockton St., 389-0330, 13gypsies.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Authentic Mediterranean cuisine: chorizo, tapas, blackened cod, pork skewers, coconut mango curry chicken. Breads from scratch onsite. $$ BW L D Tu-Sa, R Sa AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., Ste. 201, 388-8384. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.
BLACK SHEEP, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, blacksheep5points. com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. New American, Southern; local source ingredients. Daily specials, rooftop bar. HH. $$$ FB R Sa & Su; L M-F; D Nightly BREW FIVE POINTS, 1024 Park St., 714-3402, brewfive points.com. F Local craft beers, espresso, coffees, wine. Rotating drafts, 75+ can craft beers, tea. Waffles, toasts, desserts, coffees. $$ BW K B L Daily; late nite Tu-Sa BRIXX WOOD FIRED PIZZA, 220 Riverside Ave., 300-3928, brixxpizza.com. New place offers pizzas, pastas, soups. Glutenfree options. Daily specials, buy-one-get-one pizzas 10 p.m.-close. $$ FB K TO L D Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412, cornertaco.com. Made-from-scratch “Mexclectic street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free, vegetarian options. $ BW L D Tu-Su CUMMER CAFÉ, Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummer.org. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Light lunch, quick bites, locally roasted coffee, espresso-based beverages, homemade soups, sandwiches, gourmet desserts, daily specials. Dine in or in gardens. $ BW K L D Tu; L W-Su DERBY ON PARK, 1068 Park St., 379-3343, derbyonpark.net. New American cuisine, upscale retro in historic building. Oak Street Toast, shrimp & grits, lobster bites, 10-oz. gourmet burger. Dine inside or out. $$ FB TO Brunch Sa/Su; B, L D Tu-Su EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 2753 Park St., 384-9999. 130+ import beers, 20 on tap. Sandwiches. Outside dining at some EStreets. $ BW K L D Daily GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. F Juice bar uses certified organic fruits, veggies. Artisanal cheeses, 300 craft, import beers, 50 organic wines, produce, meats, vitamins, herbs, wraps, sides, sandwiches. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS ASIAN Street Fare, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Authentic dishes from mobile stalls: BBQ pork char sui, beef haw fun, Hawkers baos, chow faan, grilled Hawker skewers. $ BW TO L D Daily HOBNOB, 220 Riverside Ave., Ste. 110, 513-4272, hobnob withus.com. Unity Plaza. Global inspiration, local intention – ahi poke tuna, jumbo lump crab tacos. $$ FB TO R L D Daily IL DESCO, 2665 Park St., 290-6711, ildescojax.com. Authentic Italian cuisine, like wood-fired pizzas, pasta made daily onsite, baked Italian dishes, raw bar, spaghetti tacos. Daily HH. $$-$$$ FB K TO L D Daily JOHNNY’S Deli & Grille, 474 Riverside Ave., 356-8055. F Casual spot; made-to-order sandwiches, wraps, breakfast. $ TO B L M-Sa KNEAD BAKESHOP, 1173 Edgewood Ave. S., 634-7617. Locally owned, family-run shop specializing in made-from-scratch creations – classic pastries, artisan breads, savory pies, specialty sandwiches, soups. $ TO B L Tu-Su LARRY’S SUBS, 1509 Margaret, 674-2794. 7895 Normandy, 781-7600. 8102 Blanding, 779-1933. F SEE ORANGE PARK. LITTLE JOE’S Café, 245 Riverside Ave., Ste. 195, 791-3336. Riverview café. Soups, signature salad dressings. $ TO B L M-F METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., 999-4600. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE SAN MARCO.
32 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 9-15, 2016
The authentic Mexican cuisinie and craft cocktails are something special at Taco Libre in Jacksonville's ICW neighborhood.
MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE AMELIA ISLAND.
M SHACK, 1012 Margaret St., 423-1283. SEE BEACHES. RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Local-centric bar food: boiled peanuts, hummus, chili, cheese plate, pork sliders, nachos, herbivore items. $ D Nightly SOUTHERN ROOTS Filling Station, 1275 King St., 513-4726, southernrootsjax.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Fresh, light vegan fare; local, organic ingredients. Specials, on bread, local greens/rice, change daily. Sandwiches, coffees, teas. $ Tu-Su SUSHI Café, 2025 Riverside Ave., Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushi cafejax.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Monster, Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll. Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. Indoors or patio dining. $$ BW L D Daily
ST. AUGUSTINE
AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.
CRUISERS GRILL, 3 St. George St., 824-6993. 2016 Best of Jax
Winner. SEE BEACHES.
DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 4010 U.S. 1 S., 547-2669. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK.
THE FLORIDIAN, 72 Spanish St., 829-0655, thefloridianstaug. com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Updated Southern fare; fresh, local ingredients sourced from area farms. Vegetarian, gluten-free option. Signature fried green tomato bruschetta, blackened fish cornbread stack; grits w/shrimp/fish/tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D W-M GAS FULL SERVICE RESTAURANT, 9 Anastasia Blvd., Ste. C, 217-0326. Changing menu items are fresh, local, homemade. Casual fare: meatloaf, veggie/traditional burgers, seafood, steaks; seasonal, daily specials, made-from-scratch desserts. $$ BW K TO L D Tu-Sa GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F Local mainstay 33+ years. Varied urban cuisine menu changes twice daily. Signature dish: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. $$ FB R Su; L D Daily MARDI GRAS Sports Bar, 123 San Marco Ave., 347-3288, mardibar.com. Wings, nachos, shrimp, chicken, Phillys, sliders, soft pretzels. $$ FB TO L D Daily MBQUE, 604 Anastasia Blvd., 484-7472. New Southern-style, fresh-casual. Handspun milkshakes, super kale salad. Housemade rubs, sauces. Platters, ribs, brisket, sweet/spicy pulled/ chopped pork, chicken, sausage. $$ BW K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040. F Bite Club. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.
O’LOUGHLIN PUB, 6975 A1A S., 429-9715. New familyowned-and-operated. Authentic fish & chips, shepherd’s pie, corned beef & cabbage, bangers & mash, duck wings. $$ FB K TO L D Daily SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 321 A1A Beach Blvd., 217-3256. SEE BEACHES.
METRO DINER, 1000 S. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 758-3323. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Serving dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. SHANGHAI NOBBY’S, 10 Anastasia Blvd., 547-2188. Cubanstyle, Philly cheesesteak sandwiches. $$ FB
SAN MARCO + SOUTHBANK
BEACH Diner, 1965 San Marco Blvd., 399-1306. SEE AMELIA. The BEARDED PIG Southern BBQ & Beer Garden, 1224 Kings Ave., 619-2247, thebeardedpigbbq.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Barbecue joint offers Southern style BBQ, like brisket, pork, chicken, sausage, beef; veggie platters. $$ BW K TO Daily BISTRO AIX, 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox.com. F Mediterranean/French inspired menu changes seasonally.
250+ wine list. Wood-fired oven baked, grilled specialties: pizza, pasta, risotto, steaks, seafood. Hand-crafted cocktails, specialty drinks. Dine outside. HH M-F. $$$ FB L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 1704 San Marco, 398-9500. SEE RIVERSIDE.
FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusionsush ijax.com. F Upscale sushi spot serves fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu, seafood. $$ K L D Daily INDOCHINE, 1974 San Marco Blvd., 503-7013. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE DOWNTOWN.
KITCHEN ON SAN MARCO, 1402 San Marco Blvd., 396-2344, kitchenonsanmarco.com. Gastropub serves local, national craft beers, specialty cocktails. Seasonal menu, with fresh, locally sourced ingredients. $$ FB R Su; L D Daily METRO Diner, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metrodiner. com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Original upscale diner in a historic 1930s-era building. Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, soups. This one serves dinner nightly. $$ B R L D Daily PIZZA PALACE Restaurant & Pizzeria, 1959 San Marco Blvd., 399-8815, pizzapalacejax.com. F Family-owned-&-operated; spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, ravioli, lasagna, parmigiana. Dine outside. HH. $$ BW K TO L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco Blvd., 398-3005, tavernasanmarco.com. Chef Sam Efron’s authentic Italian; tapas, wood-fired pizza. Seasonal local produce, meats. Craft beer (some local), handcrafted cocktails, award-winning wine. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily V PIZZA, 1406 Hendricks Ave., 527-1511, vpizza.com. True Neapolitana pizzas with the freshest ingredients – a rare class of artisan pizza from Naples. $$ FB to L D Daily
SOUTHSIDE, TINSELTOWN
ALHAMBRA THEATRE & DINING, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. USA’s longest-running, 50 years. Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus. Reservations. $$ FB D Tu-Su THE CHATTY CRAB, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138C, 888-0639, chattycrab.com. Chef Dana Pollard’s raw oysters, Nawlins low country boil, po’ boys, 50¢ wing specials. $$ FB K TO L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., 619-0954. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK.
EUROPEAN Street Café, 5500 Beach, 398-1717. SEE RIVERSIDE. GREEK STREET CAFÉ, 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Ste. 106, 503-0620, greekstreetcafe.com. Fresh, authentic, modern; Greek owners. Gyros, spanakopita, dolmades, falafel, salads, nachos. Award-winning wines. $$ BW K TO L D M-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F SEE ORANGE PARK. MARIANAS GRINDS, 11380 Beach Blvd., Ste. 10, 206-612-6596. Pacific Islander fare, chamorro culture. Soups, stews, fitada, beef oxtail, katden pika; empanadas, lumpia, chicken relaguen, BBQstyle ribs, chicken. $$ TO B L D Tu-Su MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955. F Bite Club. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES. M SHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000. SEE BEACHES. OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr., 900-7730, ovinte.com. Italy, Spain, Mediterranean flavor. Small plates, tapas, charcuterie: ceviche fresco, pappardelle bolognese, lobster ravioli. 240-bottle/ wines, 75/glass; craft spirits. $$ FB R, Su; D Nightly TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Ct., 854-0426, taverna yamas.com. F Bite Club. Charbroiled kabobs, seafood, desserts. Greek wines, daily HH. Bellydancing. $$ FB K TO L D Daily
DINING DIRECTORY
TOSSGREEN, 4375 Southside, Ste. 12, 619-4356. 4668 Town Crossing Dr., Ste. 105, 686-0234. Custom salads, burritos, burrito bowls; fruit, veggies, 100% natural chicken, sirloin, shrimp, tofu, cheese, dressing, salsa, frozen yogurt. $$ K TO L D Daily
SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE
ANDY’S GRILL, 1810 W. Beaver St., 354-2821, jaxfarmers market.com. Jax Farmers Market. Local, regional, international produce. Breakfast, sandwiches, snacks, drinks. $ B L D Mon.-Sat. BARZ Liquors & Fish Camp, 9560 Heckscher Dr., 251-3330.
CLASSY CANDY
Authentic fish camp, biker-friendly, American-owned. Package store. $ FB L D Daily DICK’S Wings, 12400 Yellow Bluff Rd., 619-9828. 450077 S.R. 200, 879-0993. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. HOLA Mexican Restaurant, 1001 N. Main St., 356-3100, holamexicanrestaurant.com. F Authentic fresh fajitas, burritos, specials, enchiladas, more. HH; sangria. BW K TO L D M-Sa LARRY’S Subs, 12001 Lem Turner Rd., 764-9999. SEE O. PARK. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 15170 Max Leggett Pkwy., 757-8843. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.
CHEFFED-UP
DETOX Purge Halloween’s PROCESSED SUGAR with French cuisine HOW MANY OF Y’ALL HAVE FINISHED ALL of your Halloween candy? Not me. My children are not allowed home until they have a minimum of one full pillow case each, and it’s not because THEY like candy that much. Once the goods are delivered, I’m like the TSA: Exam the baggage then confiscate. Ah, power is intoxicating, or is that the high fructose corn syrup? Eventually, however, even I need to detox from processed sugars and low-end chocolates. And what better way than with a braise from Alsace-Loraine? The region of France that has traded hands like the SEC football trophy; whoever is the strongest power at the time (either France or Germany) wins. As of late France has been like the Crimson Tide. This region’s cuisine is an all-star mash-up of the best German and French food. The style is rich and luxurious and can be sophisticated or very homey. Braises play a big role. A few weeks ago, I wrote about using the different parts of chicken to take advantage of textures and moisture. Can you guess which parts we’re using this week? Here’s a hint: They contain myoglobin, and we used the breasts already. Correct, Sherlock, the dark meat of the legs and thighs. These are awesome to braise because their moisture and texture hold up to the long, slow and moist cooking of this technique. A proper braise requires a modicum of culinary skill and knowledge, so if you have a bit of patience, a bit of passion, and a strong desire to eat fabulously, you can create a terrific meal. A few rules to remember: High heat when searing is the devil - avoid it. When browning the meat, medium-to-medium high is the optimum temperature range. If you burn the pan, even in the slightest, the fond will be ruined. Don’t be a shoemaker! Properly reducing the wine and broth are paramount for building complex flavor. The final reduction of the sauce once the chicken is cooked will allow you to adjust seasonings, add garniture, and attain a perfect nappe (consistency). Try this Coq au Riesling recipe, it’s quite simple, and will make you forget all about that candy.
CHEF BILL’S COQ AU RIESLING
Ingredients: • 1 Tbsp. vegetable oil • 1 Tbsp. butter • 1/4 cup thick cut bacon, lardons • 1 tbs. shallot, brunoise • 2 chicken thighs • 2 chicken legs • 2 chicken wings • 8 oz. button mushrooms, quartered • 1/2 bag pearl onions, blanched • and peeled • 1 tsp. caraway seeds • 1 Tbsp. tarragon, chopped • 2 tsp. parsley, chopped • 1 1/2 cup semi-dry Riesling • 2 oz. chicken broth • 1/2 cup heavy cream • Salt and pepper to taste
CHEFFED-UP
Directions: 1. Season the chicken parts with salt 1. and pepper. 2. Sear the chicken in the oil and butter 1. over medium heat. Remove and 1. keep warm. 3. Add bacon, brown and remove. 1. Add shallots and caraway seeds and 1.parsley. Sweat. Add mushrooms, 1. sauté briefly. Deglaze with the wine 1. and reduce au sec. Add the chicken 1. broth and reduce by half. 4. Return chicken to the pan with 1. the pearl onions. Bring to a simmer, 1. cover and place in a 350°F oven for 1. 20 minutes. 5. Remove chicken from pan, keep 1. warm. Add heavy cream, and reduce 1. to sauce consistency. Adjust 1. seasoning and add tarragon. Return 1. chicken and coat with sauce. Garnish 1. with the bacon. Until we cook again,
Chef Bill cheffedup@folioweekly.com ____________________________________ Contact Chef Bill Thompson, owner of Amelia Island Culinary Academy in Historic Fernandina Beach, at cheffedup@folioweekly.com with your recipes or questions, to find inspiration and get you Cheffed Up! NOVEMBER 9-15, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 33
PETS LOOKIN’ FOR LOVE FOLIO
FOLIO LIVING
W E E K LY
PET
DEAR DAVI
LOVERS’
GUIDE
RESCUE MISSION
Davi interviews an officer’s dog who was SHOT AND LOST in a burglary MEET HEMINGWAY. Like Ernest Hemingway, who was struck by a mortar shell during WWI, Hemingway the Pit Bull was wounded when the home he shares with his dog dad, who is a police officer, was burglarized. I fetched a few facts about this dog who almost dodged a bullet: Hemingway, how does it feel to be named after a famous writer? It feels mighty fine. Hemingway was all man, and just like him, I’m all Pit Bull. Plus, I hear he was smooth with the ladies, so there’s that. Do you have a favorite toy? I don’t really have a favorite toy, but I do love grabbing toys from my pal Lucky and running with them. He runs after me, trying to get it back, but I run faster – it’s silly fun and drives him crazy! But yea, I shred my toys pretty quickly, so playing with friends is better. Cats – friend or foe? Cats don’t want to play with me. Whenever I approach one, it hisses and swipes with its claws. What about treats - bacon or peanut butter? I prefer bacon treats, but wouldn’t turn away peanut butter treats. Only a fool would turn down a treat. Do you have a hidden talent? If I told you my hidden talent it wouldn’t be hidden anymore. Next question? What THREE words would best describe you? Well, if this was a doggie dating app, I’d say handsome and lovable, for sure - but leave out stubborn. What do you like to do for fun? I love to play tug-of-war with my dog dad. He’s pretty strong, but I’ve won a few times.
Do you have a best friend? Yup. His name is Lucky and he’s a Bichon – one of those frou frou dogs. He’s my DBF. If you could make one rule that every dog at the park had to follow, what rule would you make? No fighting. We might be different colors and come from different homes, but we are all here to play. We should just accept one another and have fun together. How did you find your way home? After getting shot, I panicked, ran out of the house, and got lost. I tried to find my way home, but it was dark and I didn’t know my way around. I searched for three days, but no luck. I’m an indoor dog, so the great outdoors is unfamiliar territory. The community formed a search team and walked the streets looking for me. Two nice ladies saw me wandering and brought me home. I had no idea everyone was sniffing around for me. Are you receiving medical care? The staff at Affiliated Veterinary Specialists has been taking good care of me. Dr. Benjamino and Dr. Aragon performed my operation and treated my gunshot wound. They say I’ll have a scar, but chicks dig scars, so I’m cool with that. My dad is donating the reward money to AVS because they saved my life. Hemingway the Pit Bull is home safe with his dad, Paul Shaw – and eating ice cream. Davi mail@folioweekly.com ____________________________________ Davi the dachshund has never been wounded in battle – but he would fight tooth and claw to protect his mom!
PET TIP: DIRTY DOG IT’S NO SECRET THAT DOGS ARE SOME OF THE NASTIEST creatures we ever allow to share our beds (not counting college). While Cesar’s Way reports that there is no real need to bathe Brussels Gryffindor, the occasional bath will help keep your sheets from smelling like eau de dog stink. Cesar’s Way recommends bathing dogs with normal skin no more than once per month; if your dog is inclined to get ripe faster than that, use a soap-free or moisturizing shampoo. And unless your vet recommends it, don’t bathe Terrier Potter more often than once a week. 34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 9-15, 2016
PET EVENTS RUN FUR FUN 5K • The Friends of Jacksonville Animals holds its inaugural benefit run at 8 a.m. Nov. 12 at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown. Registration is $30 for adults. The registration fee for a one-mile fun run, starting at 9 a.m., is $10. T-shirts, awards and a photo booth are featured. All proceeds benefit FOJA. friendsofjaxanimals.com. KATZ 4 KEEPS ADOPTION DAYS • Planned adoption days through December are held from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. every Sat. and Sun., Nov. 19 and 20, Dec. 3 and 4 and Dec. 17 and 18, at Katz 4 Keeps, 935B A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach, 834-3223, katz4keeps.org.
ADOPTABLES
RANGER
COUNTRY BOY • Howdy! I like living the relaxed lifestyle. I enjoy free roaming of open lands while playing fetch, of course. All my exes live in Texas, so no need to worry about them. I am looking for my own Dolly Parton to complete my lifestyle. If you like country music, then we will get along just fine! Come meet me at the Jacksonville Humane Society at 8464 Beach Blvd. PETS & VETS • Jacksonville Humane Society and Petco Foundation offer free adoptions to salute the troops – adoptions free to veterans on Fri., free to all on Sat. and Sun. Fri., Nov. 11, 11 a.m.-6p.m. at JHS, 8464 Beach Blvd., Southside, 725-8766; Sat., Nov. 12, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sun., Nov. 13, 10 a.m.-4 p.m., at JHS and Animal Care & Protective Services, 2020 Forest St., Riverside, 630-2489.
ADOP AD ADOPTABLES OPTA OP TABL TA BLES BL ES
MYSTERIOUS
TRAVELER • I like to explore everywhere around me. I am intrigued by new things every day. I like my human to always wonder what I am up to. Windows are my favorite spot to relax; I just love looking out and seeing what all is on the other side of the wall. If you like lounging and reading books then I am your girl! Come see me at the Jacksonville Humane Society, they are open 7 days a week! VACCINATION CLINICS • VetCo offers lowercost pet vaccinations at area PetCo stores. Sun., Nov. 13: 4:30-5:30 p.m., 1514 C.R. 220, Fleming Island, 278-1980; 2-3 p.m., 11111 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 260-3225; and 10 a.m.-noon, 430 CBL Dr., St. Augustine, 824-8520. Sun., Nov. 27: 10:30 a.m.-noon, 463713 S.R. 200, Yulee, 225-0014; 2-3 p.m. 11900 Atlantic Blvd., Southside, 997-8441; vetcoclinics.com. _____________________________________ To list a pet event, send the event name, time, date, location (complete street address and city), admission price, contact number/website to print, to mdryden@ folioweekly.com – at least two weeks before the event. NOVEMBER 9-15, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35
FREEWILL ASTROLOGY
DALE RATERMANN’s Crossword presented by
BUCKMINSTER FULLER, TOILET PAPER, BRIAN ENO & OLD SHARKS
Serving Excellence Since 1928 Member American Gem Society
San Marco
Ponte Vedra
The Shoppes of Ponte Vedra
Avondale
2044 San Marco Blvd.
398-9741
330 A1A North
3617 St. Johns Ave.
280-1202
388-5406
FOLIO WEEKLY CROSSWORD 1
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JIA carrier Bloke Pigs’ digs Perch for 59-Down Kind of crime Certain code Trash talk Genesis son Fishing problem *On a deadend path Brewski Barb, to Marco Cummer Museum support Card game Mayo Clinic ICU worker Golfer Trevino Go for it UNF Orchestra string Caterpillar, e.g. *Sunshine State pageant Spock’s specialty Punch server EMT skill AAA suggestion Jax Beach’s ___ Club WJAX sportscaster Hicken
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Out front Thou, now Man, for one *2005 DC Comics flick Well offshore Witty Bombeck Limp Bizkit drummer’s family Tree house EverBank Field level Joint stub Italian bubbly Outlook folder What the combined ends of the answers to the starred clues is for Jax.
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A Hemingway Not so far In a wise way DSL co. Boll eaters Tucson or Tahoe, e.g. Bi- halved Gloom mate The Artful Dodger memoirist Thai neighbor Be human Wee wee? Inc. kin Nabokov novel JSO rank Fee, ___, foe, fum!
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40 Folds in 43 Lakers on a scoreboard 44 Gainesville-to-St. Augustine dir. 45 Beach shelter 46 Moon stages 47 Assay anew 49 Key Largo star 50 Non alternative 53 Fine fiddle 54 Mocha setting 55 Kid’s comeback 57 Shrimp boat gear 58 Choice cheese 59 Cheers regular 63 Body art, for short 64 WasabiCon mo. 65 HBO rival
Solution to 11.02.16 Puzzle DOWN 1 Neptune Beach summer hrs. 2 FSU frat letter 3 Ex-mayor Ritter 4 Pick-me-ups 5 Chorus line 6 ___ Blanc (wine) 7 Gets suspended 8 Oodles 9 Mexican bread 10 Turkish title
36 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 9-15, 2016
M A D C I N D O L A T I L A C M E C A R D T B S D S A H A A T O M S T O P H I D A L L A A U D M A
A O N E S T I R S T W I N
P A R R A G N S K N O O F U R F S T R A O M A H A D O R S O N T O R A N A
S E L E C T I K O N S
S P O R K V C R T U B A S
E R T A I R S S M I T H E P R O P O O R T A L L S I R I L E T 5 A A D E N I G H T N O L A R F I L G E S L U M N I E X T E T
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Now and then, you display an excessive egotism that pushes people away. In the next six weeks, you’ll have a great chance to shed some of that tendency, and build more healthy pride, attracting help and support. Be alert for a steady flow of intuitions to tell you on how to elude overconfidence and cultivate more warm, radiant charisma. You came to Earth not just to show off your bright beauty, but to wield it as a source of inspiration and motivation for those whose lives you touch.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Modern toilet paper appeared in 1901, when a company in Green Bay, Wisconsin began to market “sanitary tissue” to the public. There was a small problem, though. Since the manufacturing process wasn’t perfect, wood chips sometimes remained embedded in the paper. It wasn’t until 1934 that the product was offered as officially “splinter-free.” You are not yet in the splinter-free phase of the promising possibility you’re working on. Keep at it. Eventually it’ll be smooth … uh … sailing.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “How often I found where I should be going only by setting out for somewhere else,” said inventor Buckminster Fuller. I don’t fully endorse that. Like, when I said goodbye to North Carolina, intending to make Northern California my new home, Northern California is exactly where I ended up and stayed. Having said that, though, I suspect the months ahead could be a span of time when Fuller’s formula applies. Your final destination may be different from the original plan, but here’s the tricky part: If you do want to be led to the situation that’s right for you, be specific about setting a goal that’s right for now.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “Don’t be someone that searches, finds and then runs away,” advises novelist Paulo Coelho. I’m adding this caveat: “Don’t be someone that searches, finds and then runs away — unless you really do need to run away for a while to get better prepared for the reward you’ve summoned … and then return to fully embrace it.” After studying the astrological omens, I see you can benefit from this information.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): If you were an obscenely rich plutocrat, you may have a billiards table on your super yacht. To ensure you and your pals could play pool even in a storm that rocked your boat, you’d have a special gyroscopic instrument installed to keep the table steady and stable. But you’re not that wealthy or decadent. You could have something even better, though: metaphorical gyroscopes to keep you steady and stable as you navigate through unusual weather. What does this mean? Meditate on three people or influences which would help you stay grounded. Snuggle up close to those during the next two weeks. CANCER (June 21-July 22): The weeks ahead will be a good time to fill your bed with rose petals and sleep with the scent wafting in dreams. Consider these acts of intimate revolution: listen to spiritual flute music while having scintillating conversations with interesting allies … dance nude in semi-darkness as you imagine your happiest possible future. You’re due for a series of appointments with savvy bliss and wild splendor. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “I have always wanted … my mouth full of strange sunlight,” writes Leo poet Michael Dickman in “My Honeybee.” In another piece, describing an outdoor scene from childhood, he innocently asks, “What kind of light is that?” Elsewhere he confesses, “What I want more than anything is to get down on paper what the shining looks like.” In accordance with astrological omens, follow Dickman’s lead in the weeks ahead. You’ll receive soulful teachings if you pay attention to the qualities of the light you see with your eyes and the inner light that wells up in your heart. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The Passage du Gois is a 2.8-mile causeway between the western French town of Beauvoir-sur-Mer and the island of Noirmoutier in the Atlantic Ocean. It’s usable only twice a day when the tide goes out, and even then for just an hour or two. Otherwise it’s underwater. If you want to walk, bike or drive across, accommodate to nature’s rhythms. There’s a metaphorically similar phenomenon in your life. To get where you want to go next, you can’t necessarily travel when you feel like it. The path will be open and available for brief periods — but it will be open and available.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Go and howl a celebratory “goodbye!” to any triviality that’s distracted you from worthy goals, to any mean little ghost that’s shadowed good intentions, and to any faded fantasy that’s clogged the psychic energy flow. Whisper “welcome!” to open secrets that have remained hidden, simple lessons you haven’t been simple enough to learn and breathtaking escapes you’ve only recently earned. You may refer to the next few weeks as a watershed. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Musician and visual artist Brian Eno loves to dream up innovative products. In 2006, he published a DVD 77 Million Paintings, which uses technological trickery to generate 77 million series of images. To watch the whole thing would take 9,000 years. It’s an interesting but gimmicky novelty — not particularly deep or meaningful. During the next nine months, attempt a far more impressive feat: make a richly complex creation to provide growth-inducing value for years. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Do you know about the Lords of Shouting? According to Christian and Jewish mythology, they’re a gang of 15.5 million angels who greet each day with vigorous songs of praise and blessing. Most people are too preoccupied with their own mind chatter to pay attention to them, let alone hear their melodious offerings. You may be an exception to that in the weeks ahead. According to my astrological omen-reading, you’ll be exceptionally alert for and receptive to glad tidings. You may spot opportunities others can’t see, including the chants of the Lords of Shouting and many potential blessings. Take advantage of that aptitude! PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Greenland sharks live a long time — up to 400 years, according to University of Copenhagen researchers. The females of the species don’t reach sexual maturity until they’re 150. I wouldn’t usually compare you to these creatures, but my astrological omen-reading suggests the months ahead will be time when, at long last, you reach full sexual ripeness. You’ve been able to generate new human beings for quite some time, but your erotic wisdom has lagged. That’s going to change. Your ability to harness your reproductive power will soon start to increase. As it does, you gain new access to primal creativity. Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com
NEWS OF THE WEIRD FOLLOW EVERY RAINBOW …
Kids as young as 6 who live on a cliff top in China’s Atule’er village in Sichuan province will no longer have to use flexible vine-based ladders to climb the 2,600-foot descent from their homes to school. Beijing News disclosed in October, in a report carried by CNN, that a sturdy steel ladder was being built to aid 400 villagers after breathtaking photos of them making the treacherous commute were seen on the Internet earlier this year.
MARCHING ONE BY ONE … HURRAH!
Researchers in Poland reported in August the “survival” of a colony of ants that wandered into an old nuclear weapons bunker and were trapped. When researchers first noticed, in 2013, they assumed the ants would soon die, either freezing or starving to death but, returning in 2015 and ’16, they found the colony stable. The researchers figured new ants were falling into the bunker, “replacing” dead ones. Thus, ants trapped in the bunker slowly starve, freezing, in total darkness, until new ants stroll, fall, freeze and starve in total darkness — and on and on.
DON’T TASE ME, YER HONOR!
Jackson County, Michigan, judge John McBain briefly gained notoriety in October when a Michigan news site released courtroom video of a December 2015 hearing in which McBain felt the need to throw off his robe, leap from the bench and tackle defendant Jacob Larson, who was resisting the one court officer on hand to restrain him. Yelling “Tase his ass right now,” McBain is shown holding on until help arrives — with Larson undermining his earlier courtroom statements claiming it was his girlfriend, and not he, who was the aggressor in alleged stalking incidents.
WHOZAT ON THE DOCKET?
Arrested in October and charged with kidnapping a 4-year-old girl in Lakeland: a truck driver, Mr. Wild West Hogs. Arrested in West Palm Beach in August and charged with trespassing at a Publix supermarket (and screaming at employees), Mr. Vladimir Putin. Also in August, at the dedication of a new unit at Tampa General Hospital’s pediatric center, longtime satisfied patients attended, including
Maria Luva, who told guests her son, now 8 years old, was born there: Ywlyox Luva.
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THE MIGHTY PUDDY TAT
In a 1921 journal, California Department of Fish & Wildlife researchers stated categorically that “the one predatory animal” inspiring practically nothing “good” is the mountain lion, but recent research in the journal Conservation Letters credits the same animal for saving the lives of many motorists by killing deer, thus tempering the current annual number (20,000) of driver/deer collisions. Even killing deer, mountain lions still trail pussycats as predators; in 2013, researchers in Nature Communications estimated “free-ranging [U.S.] domestic cats” kill at least 1.4 billion birds and 6.9 billion small mammals annually.
GIMME BACK MY BULLETS
On the way to the police station in Youngstown, Ohio, on Oct. 19, after being arrested for, among other things, being a felon in possession of a gun, Raymond Brooks, 25, asked an officer (apparently in all seriousness) whether, after he got booked at the station, he could have his gun back. The police report did not specify if the officer said yes or no.
PARK MINI-ME
The recent 100th anniversary of America’s National Park Service drew attention to the park in Guthrie, Oklahoma — 10 feet by 10 feet, behind the post office, dating from the original Land Office on the spot in 1889. According to legend, the city clerk, instead of asking the government for land “100 foot square [100 feet by 100 feet],” mistakenly asked for “100 square feet.”
THAT’S WHERE SUPERMAN CHANGED CLOTHES!
The town of Warley, England, announced it has applied to the Guinness people for the honor of having the world’s smallest museum. The Warley Community Association’s museum, with photos and mementoes of its past, is housed in an old phone booth. So far, there are no hours of operation — visitors just show up and walk right in. Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net
No left or right swipe here – you can actually use REAL WORDS to find REAL LOVE!
To start: Write a ive-word headline so they’ll recognize you, or them, or the place. Next: Describe the person, like, “You: Blonde, hot, skanky, tall.” Then: Describe yourself, like, “Me: Redhead, boring, clean, virgin.” Next: Describe the encounter, like, “ISU with your posse at Dos Gatos.” No names, email addresses, websites, etc. And for chrissake keep it at forty (40) words or fewer. Don’t they teach basic counting in kindergarten? Did all y’all miss that lesson because you were out trolling for strange? MY HOT, SEXY NEIGHBOR You: Tall, white sports jersey (No. 12, I think), flag tattoo. Me: Brunette, sunglasses, busty. While checking mail ISU on balcony playing darts, smoking cigar. Welcome to the neighborhood. Throw your dart at me anytime. When: Oct. 25. Where: Coquina Bay Apartments. #1632-1026 A YEAR AGO, OCEANWAY PUBLIX Wednesday afternoon before Thanksgiving. Talked in checkout line. Me: Kinda muscular, blue Never Quit shirt. Please forgive my walking away. You: So smokin’ hot I couldn’t believe it; black vehicle. Let me be your somebody! When: Nov. 25, ’15. Where: Oceanway Publix. #1631-1026 CUTE BARTRAM PARK RUNNER We’ve seen each other. You: Dark hair, blue-eyed hottie, running. Me: Dark blonde, ponytail, walking. Today you said, “Sorry about that.” I smiled, not sure of meaning – sorry about crude car guys. Points – you’re a gentleman. Single? When: Oct. 17. Where: Bartram Park. #1630-1026 SALMON POLO, RIVERSIDE PUBLIX Going to check-out – bam! ISU. Handsome man. Facial hair. Fit. Smiled, made eye contact. Thought, “I’ll never see him again.” I pull from lot; you walk in front; noticed your right arm tattoo. No bags? When: Oct. 3. Where: Riverside Publix. #1629-1012 BRUNETTE BEAUTY WALKING TO BEACH Tall brunette walking her most white with mixed colored medium-sized dog. Snake-design comfortable pants, gorgeous body. Me: Waking up, starting day. You were first thing I saw from inside my house. Let’s walk together! When: Sept. 30. Where: Davis St., Neptune Beach. #1628-1005 MY BUD LIGHT/MARLBORO MAN You: Handsome man working the grill, drinking Bud Light and cooking some good-looking meat on Saturday. Me: Drinking Captain and Coke and fighting the desire to take advantage of you. Hoping you “grill” again soon! When: Aug. 27. Where: Downtown. #1627-0928 NEED HELP MOVING? First time ISU, you were moving from your apartment; we caught eyes. Met again, exchanged names. I wanted your number but it’s been so long since someone made me speechless. Come by sometime? You: Pretty. Me: Intrigued. When: Sept. 14. Where: Off JTB. #1626-0921 FIRST WATCH EARTHQUAKE You: Stunningly beautiful lady, long brown hair, shorts, athletic top, waiting for second party Sunday morning. Me: Tall, dark, handsome guy, kinda cop-looking. Tried to buy your breakfast; you hadn’t ordered. Really wanted to say hello. When: Aug. 28. Where: First Watch Beach Boulevard. #1625-0907 TRADE PORSCHE FOR BEACH CRUISER? Drawn to your physique, adored biceps as you chilled with friend! You complimented my Porsche. Offered trade for your cruiser. Didn’t ask for number. WOD together on next bring-a-friend day?! When: 4 p.m. June 5. Where: Zeta Brewing bicycle stand. #1616-0622
DANCING TO THE BONES You are L. from Ponte Vedra. I’m R, leading band at Conch House on Friday, Aug. 12. We said quick hello as you left. Really want to connect with you. Hopefully cosmos will agree. When: Aug. 12. Where: Conch House, St. Augustine. #1624-0817 FLOWERS IN MY HAND Very surprised to see you. Positive memories flooded back, so let’s have lunch and catch up. S. When: July 6. Where: Publix Pharmacy. #1623-0810 DO YOU SEEK UNIQUE? You: Beautiful brunette, Walmart sugar aisle, beautiful arm ink work; said you got it in Riverside. Me: Dark chocolate gentleman, captivated by smile, breathless looking into beautiful eyes. Too shy to get number. Meet for lunch? When: July 16. Where: Walmart Avenues. #1622-0720 HANDSOME, KIND GENTLEMAN ISU Saturday 1 a.m. You: Extremely handsome, cool hat, T-shirt, jeans; forgot wallet; complimented my white dress. Me: Long blond hair, green eyes, too shy to ask name or if unattached. Love to meet formally! When: July 17. Where: Walmart San Jose. #1621-0720 WE ARE READY FOR U You: Handsome man following, watching me, saying hi, calling, hanging up before u speak. Me: Want to hear your heart. My dog and condo await. Don’t be afraid. Everything will be OK. We love you. When: 2012. Where: Neighborhood. #1620-0720 AVONDALE ANGEL Me: Down on my luck, no place to go. You: Beautiful person who kept me from sleeping on the street. Thank you for your generosity for someone you didn’t even know! You’ll never ever be forgotten! When: June 16. Where: Avondale shops. #1619-0706 COOPER’S HAWK NICE SMILE WAITER You weren’t our waiter last Thursday 6/16; served us before. Name starts with G. Cute, dark blond hair, warm personality. Me: Brunette, curly hair, navy blue dress. You noticed us in booth. A drink, conversation? Contact. When: June 16. Where: Cooper’s Hawk Winery Town Center. #1618-0622 CORGI GIRL Your smile’s radiant. How you synchronize those long legs in immense contrast with your pups is marvelous. I’m grateful, mostly handsome, longing to please. Love to join you and poochie for evening stroll along the river. XOXO. When: June 10. Where: Riverside. #1617-0622 COMEDY ZONE Goldberg lookalike, Comedy Zone May 27, admiring each other while waiting with friends. Me: Hot brunette in black tank top and jeans. When: May 27. Where: Comedy Zone. #1608-0525 VYSTAR LOAN OFFICER You: Beautiful blue-eyed, curly blond hair, rockin’ all black outfit, accent colored shirt. Me: Trying to get a loan. Made conversation to keep process going. Second Wednesday in June. Didn’t get loan; might’ve found so much more! When: June 8. Where: Vystar. #1615-0622 NOVEMBER 9-15, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37
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FOLIO VOICES : BACKPAGE EDITORIAL
I WORK AT PAXON HIGH SCHOOL, A DEDICATED magnet school for accelerated academics. Students are in one of two programs: International Baccalaureate (IB), in which they take the prescribed curriculum and undergo IB tests in order to earn an IB diploma recognized around the world as prestigious and as an entry ticket into any college/university; AP Honors, in which students take numerous AP courses and undergo AP tests to earn college credits during their high school years. It is a high school that routinely is ranked in the Top 25 High Schools in America. We lost our media specialist a few weeks ago, you know, the person with an encyclopedic knowledge of books, journals, and media to direct students in their research, who teaches students how to research and evaluate sources, as well as how to properly cite their sources, besides teaching kids how to use multimedia equipment. The district insisted that the position be eliminated despite alternate suggestions put forth by the school. Another one bites the dust. You would think that a dedicated magnet would be allowed to devise its program in order to attract students; after all, that is the point of a magnet school. You would think that a dedicated magnet would be allowed discretion to make the decisions necessary to maintain its program. You would think that a dedicated magnet such as Paxon would need an effective, operating media center to maintain its program. Apparently, you would be wrong. Another one bites the dust. And if a school like Paxon is not allowed to maintain and operate its media center, what hope do you have for our
neighborhood schools, where the need for literacy is even greater? Oh yeah, we have Achieve3000 for that. No need for a library. If you believe that, then you believe that the purpose of school is to prepare students to pass tests, specifically one test given once a year in April. If you believe that, then you believe that children are not human beings with lives of their own, developing according to their age-driven agenda, and worthy of our best efforts. You believe they are test-taking widgets with a job to do and they had better get on with it — like the old Victorians, who believed and treated children as if they were tiny adults. But know this: Google will never replace a media specialist. If we have to have the budget people make the academic decisions, then my district needs to stop half-going about it. Close our media centers. Sell the books, remove the shelves, and, my, what a big space you have. Large enough to move in a hundred chairs and deliver instruction like the big colleges: large lecture halls where teachers’ aids (aka minimum wage paraprofessionals) or, even better, upper classmen – who don’t need to be paid but can fulfill graduationrequired community service hours – supporting the teachers. That way you could still claim to be meeting constitutionally required class size requirements. Why stop with media specialists? Think of all the high-wage teachers you could dump. Another one bites the dust and our students lose out, too. Gregory Sampson mail@folioweekly.com
®
PINK SLIPS
READY
TO GO
Teacher LAMENTS ELIMINATION of key position at magnet school
____________________________________ Sampson is a teacher, writer, and long-time resident of Jacksonville.
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