2 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 23-29, 2016
THIS WEEK //11.23-11.29.16 // VOL. 29 ISSUE 34 COVER STORY
MINISTER
[12]
OF DEATH ROW Rumble into PRISON with a motorcycling REVEREND STORY BY JAKE GERKEN PHOTOS BY DENNIS HO
FEATURED ARTICLES FEATURED
FORGET ME NOT
[10]
BY JOSUÉ CRUZ Two historically black Catholic SCHOOLS WILL COMBINE in 2017, but will they forsake their individual histories?
CRAZY FOR FOOTBALL [39]
HARDLY A KNOCKOUT [21]
BY SCOTT ZACHER “Over the course of two games this year, we had a second and one three different times and could not convert. We could not get THREE feet on SIX tries!”
BY DAN HUDAK True-life BOXING FLICK goes down in the final round
COLUMNS + CALENDARS FROM THE EDITOR OUR PICKS MAIL FIGHTIN’ WORDS JAG CITY/NEWS MUSIC
5 6 8 9 10 20
FILM ARTS LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR DINING DIRECTORY BITE-SIZED PINT-SIZED
21 23 27 30 31 32
CHEFFED-UP PETS CROSSWORD/ASTR0 WEIRD/I SAW U CLASSIFIEDS BACKPAGE
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FOLIO WEEKLY MAGAZINE IS PUBLISHED EVERY WEDNESDAY THROUGHOUT NORTHEAST FLORIDA. It contains opinions of contributing writers that are not necessarily the opinion of this publication. Folio Weekly Magazine welcomes editorial and photographic contributions. Calendar information must be received two weeks in advance of event date. Copyright © Folio Publishing, Inc. 2016. All rights reserved. Advertising rates and information are available on request. An advertiser purchases right of publication only. One free issue copy per person. Additional copies and back issues are $1 each at the office or $4 by U.S. mail, based on availability. First Class mail subscriptions are $48 for 13 weeks, $96 for 26 weeks and $189 for 52 weeks. Please recycle Folio Weekly. Folio Weekly Magazine is printed on 100% recycled paper using soy-based inks.
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4 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 23-29, 2016
FROM THE EDITOR
IT WAS THE FEAST OF TIMES, IT WAS THE holiday of times, it was the age of shopping, it was the age of layaway, it was the epoch of credit cards, it was the epoch of festivities, it was the season of greetings, it was the season of cookies — in short, the holidays were so far better than the previous (election) season that some of its tackiest authorities insist upon its being received, for gift or for eggnog, in the superlative hallows of major corporations only. We have now upon us the most treasured of all American experiences: the holiday shopping free-forall death match over the last copy of Final Fantasy XV. Yea, how the shelves will rumble as the natives, high on processed sugars, fluorescent lighting and so, so much gluten, clamor for Num Noms Lip Gloss Truck Craft Kits, Shopkins ‘Tall Mall’ Playsets and Learning Resources Pretend & Play School Sets! (OK, not that last one — but if you want to get bumped off the “cool aunt” list, Pretend & Play away. If not, buy the kiddos a game eerily similar to what we in the adult world will forever and ever, amen, refer to as the year of 2016: The Pie Face Game.) As ye fair retail warriors map out your holiday shopping strategy, whether ye be solitary soldiers, warring tribes or a entire battalion of spendthrifts, consider, if ye will, the following (probably true) tale of three twenties: The first 20, whom we shall call Dubya Dubya Dubya Dot, or simply Dubya Dot, was sent to a corporation in China that manufactures, markets and ships petroleum that has been processed and molded until it closely resembles a turd. There Dubya Dot was given whole to the president of the company, who shared enough with the workers so they could survive another day toiling 15 or 16 hours in the factory, cooking, molding and painting fake turds. The leftover scraps of Dubya Dot were given to the shipping company who provided transport for the shiny brown blobs of childish delight. From these scraps, a small portion of Dubya Dot was handed to he who bore the box of plastic poo to the door. The second 20, Big Box Martin, who prefers to be called Marty ever since he got that blue-green-and-peach tattoo on his face, was offered as tribute in exchange for a bright package that contained a sweater spun entirely from twine by Amish women in Pennsylvania (actually atheists in Ohio). Marty was first carved in unequally-sized portions consisting of one piece that was
43 percent of Marty and one that was 57 percent of Marty. The 57-percent-sized piece of Marty was sent far away and apportioned among the atheists, marketers, accountants, printers, suppliers, designers and shippers. The 43-percent-sized piece of Marty remained in town and was divided among employees who stocked, tracked and sold the industrial-strength exfoliating sweater, the city and county government, utilities and charitable organizations. The third and final 20, Roundthecorner McHometownNeighborton, Benson for short, was bartered for Dip’n Tots, a fullbody mud mask made of “primordial soup,” a concoction comprising seagull droppings, sea snake placenta and, mostly, mud. Benson was then divided into two unequal parts: one portion was 68 percent of Benson’s whole, the other 32 percent. The 32-percent-sized portion was sent to sea snake afterbirth suppliers in — where else? — Washington, D.C., the adopted hometown of all that is bizarre and somewhat unsettling; the 68-percent-sized piece remained in town to be divided among employees who mixed, packaged and sold Dip’n Tots, local seagull dropping collection technicians (inmates on work release), the key ingredient specialist (landscaper) who harvested the mud, the city and county government, charities and, of course, the shop owner/marketing genius who convinced people to rub bird poop, afterbirth and mud all over their naked bodies. If ye be confused, the foregoing is intended to communicate that Small Business Saturday, that stroke of genius dreamt up by American Express, the most civilized of all credit card companies, in the year of our overlord 2010, affords us weaponized warriors of commerce the opportunity to put our twenties where our hearts are: right here in our community, at the small businesses that provide us with locally-sourced, locallyinspired goods and goodies to amuse, clothe, feed and delight. And who among the community at the season’s reception in this two-thousand-andsixteenth year of our overlord could possibly doubt that a shopping system rooted in a festive merchant, localized and street-facing, pumped, holiday sweater-peddling, would see the satiated retail warrior out with a smile and a “y’all come on back and see us real soon”! Claire Goforth claire@folioweekly.com
A TALE
OF THREE TWENTIES
An ODE to the season
NOVEMBER 23-29, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5
RED RIBBON DAYS NORTHEAST FLORIDA WORLD AIDS WEEK Locals mark World AIDS Week with events including the opening display of the AIDS Memorial Quilt, a women’s and children’s celebration, a free HIV testing/ education day, condom blitz, spoken word competition, and an awards luncheon. Monday, Nov. 28-Friday, Dec. 2, at various locations in Jacksonville. For a full listing of events, go to neflworldaidsday.org.
MON
28
OUR PICKS LITTLE CINDERELLA RIDING BEANSTALK HOOD INTO THE WOODS Relive your childhood memories with a sardonic twist when Acclaimed Fiasco Theater presents Stephen Sondheim and James Lapine’s Tony Award-winning musical, Into The Woods, which blends popular fairy tales together into a dark, witty story that has received rave reviews by the likes of The New York Times and Playbill. 8 p.m. Saturday, Nov. 26, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts, Orange Park, 276-6750, $43-$73, thcenter.org.
REASONS TO LEAVE THE HOUSE THIS WEEK
SAT
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DEFINITE DECIBEL DEBRIS FLOTSAM & JETSAM
Since 1981, Phoenix, Arizona metal overlords Flotsam and Jetsam have been serving up the molten jams to the underground thrash scene. Over the course of a dozen fulllengths and equal onslaught of singles and EPs, the band has remained a lesser-known but critical element to the American heavyweight music scene. The band has undergone some major lineup changes throughout the years (founding bassist Jason Newsted split the band in ’86 to join Metallica), but vocalist Eric A. ‘A.K.’ Knutson is currently keeping the band on track in carrying on their loud and brutal legacy. 7 p.m. Saturday, Nov. 26 with opener Hatchet, Jack Rabbits, San Marco, $15, jaxlive.com.
RUDOLPH THE REDNOSED SCULPTOR
CHRISTMAS MADE IN THE SOUTH
Looking for that special gift for Granny Snert, the family doyenne who has turned her love for the holidays into an unsettling, Rainer Werner Fassbinder-like fetish? Look no further! The 28th annual Christmas Made in the South features artisans selling holiday-themed delights, including pottery, jewelry, metal sculpture, woodworking, glass, photography, fine art, and gourmet eats. 9 a.m.-6 p.m. Friday, Nov. 25; 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Saturday, Nov. 26, and 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Sunday, Nov. 27, Prime Osborn Convention Center, Downtown, $7; ages 12 and under free, madeinthesouthshows.com. 6 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 23-29, 2016
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CREATIVE SKILLS ST. AUGUSTINE ART & CRAFT FESTIVAL FRI
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Once again, the Oldest City hosts local and national creative types selling their wares at the 51st annual St. Augustine Art & Craft Festival, featuring craftspeople offering up works in a variety of media, including pottery, jewelry, sculpture, painting, photography, and fiber art, along with food trucks. 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Saturday, Nov. 26 and 10 a.m.-4:30 p.m. Sunday, Nov. 27, Francis Field, St. Augustine, staugustineartfestival.com.
NOVEMBER 23-29, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7
THE MAIL BRACE THINESELVES
HERE WE GO AGAIN, A REPUBLICAN PRESIDENT. Good luck with your Social Security, your Medicare, your cheap hospitalization insurance, your cheap gasoline and your cheap interest rates. President Hoover gave us the Great Depression. President Reagan put 241 American service members between two warring factions in Lebanon with unloaded weapons and they got blown up. He left us with the highest national debt up until that time and brought wage stagnation with his actions against unions. President Bush gave us the Great Recession and two wars, one of which, Iraq, was not necessary and killed more than 4,000 U.S. military men and women. Sen. Hillary Clinton’s vote for this war was only one and she apologized for it being wrong, unlike Republicans. Now we have President-elect Trump. He will have the majority of Congress and the Supreme Court and sounds like a dictator. He wants to meet with Russian President Vladimir Putin ASAP, probably to plan World War III and divide up Europe and tear apart NATO. He is the one who said, “I love war” and “I know more than our generals.” The best Republican president was Eisenhower, behind President Lincoln, arguably a Republican because he believed in equal rights for African Americans. Eisenhower gave us the Interstate Highway System. He recognized money is better spent on infrastructure than the military industrial complex. Is World War III Trump’s solution to paying off the U.S. national debt? I don’t see him as an Eisenhower or Lincoln. Bruce Mize via email
THE BIG PHAT TRUTH
RE.: “When I Paint My Masterpiece,” by Daniel A. Brown, Nov. 16 I JUST WANTED TO PASS ALONG MY appreciation of the deep dive you took on the Art Republic piece. It was very fair, and exceedingly well-written. I’ve managed to stay completely
removed from this event/controversy, and it was revealing to read the account as you laid it out. This is why we can’t have nice things. Thanks for your good work. Grant Nielsen via email
TOUCHY-FEELY
RE.: “Media Matters,” by Claire Goforth, Nov. 9 IT APPEARS THAT THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO ARE “out of touch” are the media. Very few of you deserve the respect you are seeking. You lack credibility. Journalism ain’t what it used to be. Guess that “rich old white dude” had it right, huh? Alexis Rotkowitz via email
OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS (AND SHAMPOOS AND WELDS)
RE.: “Media Matters,” by Claire Goforth, Nov. 9 IF YOU WENT TO J-SCHOOL TO “CHANGE THE world,” please, do the rest of us a favor and consider a trade school instead. Jeff Karr via email
LEND YOUR VOICE If you’d like to respond to something you read in the pages of Folio Weekly Magazine, please send an email (with your name, address, and phone number for verification purposes only) to mail@folioweekly.com, visit us at folioweekly.com, or follow us on Twitter or Facebook (@folioweekly) and join the conversation.
BRICKBATS + BOUQUETS BOUQUETS TO GENEVIEVE DELOACH To help the North Florida Land Trust raise funds for its now-successful effort to save the 1898 Spanish-American War Fort, Genevieve DeLoach asked her friends and family to donate to the cause in lieu of buying presents for her 100th birthday. This classy centenarian, who told the T-U ’s Mark Woods in March that her secret to longevity was “a lot of laughter, then good friends, good food and good whiskey,” is an inspiration to us all. BRICKBATS TO THE JACKSONVILLE MAYOR’S OFFICE Citing the mayor’s disappointment with the (homeless) people who congregate in Hemming Park, on Nov. 10, the mayor’s office dropped a bomb: Lenny Curry wants to take control of the park back from the Friends of Hemming Park, the private organization that has held the reins for the past two years. One of his big ideas: cutting down the oak trees that make the park a habitable place. Just a thought, Mr. Mayor: How about you prioritize reopening the Jacksonville Day Resource Center that your budget forced to close so ‘those people’ you find so offensive have somewhere to get out of your sight line? BOUQUETS TO JAX CHAMBER On Nov. 22, JAX Chamber announced the launch of “Project Open Door,” an initiative to stop asking about potential hires’ arrest records on job applications. Although approximately a quarter of adult Americans have arrest records, applicants with criminal histories, no matter how remote or minor, are often categorically excluded from consideration. By waiting until the interview to ask, the roughly 50 local employers who have signed on to the initiative are offering a much-needed second chance to people who have paid their debt to society. DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? HOW ABOUT A BRICKBAT? Send submissions to mail@folioweekly.com; 50 word maximum, concerning a person, place, or topic of local interest. 8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 23-29, 2016
FOLIO VOICES : FIGHTIN’ WORDS A new EPIDEMIC OF VIOLENCE raises old questions
MURDER WAS THE CASE
BLAME IT ON THE ELECTION OF DONALD Trump. Blame it on turf wars among underground distributors of illicit substances. Blame it on people beefing about mythical concepts like respect. Whatever the case, November is becoming another month of murder in Jacksonville, with a half-dozen murders starting the weekend after the election and hopefully stopping by the time you read this. Most of those November murders were in Northwest Jacksonville. The one that was the most heartbreaking was a shooting on Cleveland Road that gunned down an 11-month-old baby (Tedashii Williams), her mother, and another adult. Judging from the surveillance video, the gunman (or gunmen) were using the spray and pray technique. People were running for their lives. But it’s hard to run when you’re a mother caring for an infant. Last week, the politicians and the preachers made their cases at press events. They all made solemn promises to check this tide of violence. Mayor Lenny Curry said he was “mad as hell,” projecting a resolve similar to what he projected in January after the drive-by shooting of toddler Aiden McClendon. The 16-year-old gunman was later apprehended. However, there are plenty of people with time on their hands and guns in their waistbands, who are working as the creators of the next Aiden McClendon/Tedashii Williams situation. Also speaking on this case was Sheriff Mike Williams. Williams noted that times have changed on the streets since he entered law enforcement in 1991. The kinds of beefs that used to be solved with fights in an alley are now solved via bullets from a gun. A group called the Baptist Ministers Alliance made its points last Tuesday across from the Cleveland Arms apartment complex. They offered their churches as “safe spaces” for informants, and intoned against the violence. Left unsaid was that most of the people involved in gunplay in Jacksonville – which has seen 106 homicides and many other nearmisses in 2016 – aren’t in church on Sunday mornings or Wednesday evenings. Also left unsaid was that the pastors, wearing suits and being ferried to the parking lot of the Lil’ Albert convenience store, have about as much to do with the day-to-day reality in NW Jacksonville as I do. Also on Tuesday a phalanx of Jacksonville City Council members showed up in that same parking lot for their own presser. Predictably, they too projected resolve in the face of the street violence. Councilman Tommy Hazouri said, correctly, that gun violence extends far beyond the area around Cleveland Arms.
Councilman Reggie Brown, who represents the district, had his own questions. He wondered, among other things, why illegal guns are so easily accessible on Jacksonville streets. And why they are so cheap – as inexpensive as $100. He also had counsel for those in the area – that they should take more “responsibility” for their actions, and that they need to get beyond the “stop snitching” code of the streets. These are all valid questions. Council members also have some proposals. One is to bring ShotSpotter technology to more high-crime areas; the technology will allow easier identification of where gunshots are coming from. Another proposal – yet to be codified into a bill – the use of “ambassadors” in Council Districts 7, 8, 9, and 10. These ambassadors, paid for out of a fund that has yet to be determined, would provide what Councilman Reggie Gaffney called “door-to-door outreach” to discern the issues that really plague these communities. These are all well-intended, yet topical, treatments to a larger problem; namely, the utter failure of the mass incarceration/zero tolerance approach to law enforcement. While that approach has given jobs and pensions to police and prison staff, it hasn’t abated the conditions that lead to crazed gunmen shooting infants in the street. Mass incarceration, which seemed like a great idea to Bill Clinton and Newt Gingrich in the 1990s, had the real effect of reinforcing Jim Crow disparities and removing men from these communities – the men who would have raised the kids, coached the football teams, worked meaningful jobs, had they not been fed into the profitable prison pipeline that has rendered millions of people into commodities for the carceral state. We look at an issue like cannabis prohibition: Jacksonville, the murder capital of the state, is also locked into Reefer Madness modalities. Daytona, Orlando, Tampa, Miami – all have decriminalized personal possession. Not in Jacksonville, where the pretext to stop, frisk, and search apparently must be preserved. Black men can get searched in this city for little more than walking along a sidewalk. No matter how much enforcement like that happens, the murder rate doesn’t abate. Jacksonville politicians will not take a hard look at the generational pressures that drive violent crime. People aren’t born to become the kind of men who shoot babies. That kind of malformed spirit is a measure of social engineering, a cynical shell game driven by profit, aided and abetted by politicians on both sides of the aisle who don’t want to acknowledge that toxic reality. A.G. Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com Twitter/AGGancarski NOVEMBER 23-29, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9
JAG CITY JAG
ANOTHER
LOSING
FOLIO COMMUNITY : NEWS
Two historically black Catholic schools will combine in 2017, but WILL THEY FORSAKE their individual histories?
SEASON
Draft TALK and season ticket RENEWAL questions
10 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 23-29, 2016
FORGET
ME NOT ENDYA FREEMAN DRIVES A GOOD 20 MILES out of her way every morning and afternoon to make sure that her two children attend St. Pius V Catholic School. The historically black Catholic school is on 13th Street in Jacksonville’s Northside and for Freeman, the detour is a commitment to her children’s education; the school has a 95 percent graduation rate and an exemplary college acceptance record. St. Pius, which opened in 1921, has a rich history intertwined with the community where it’s located. The school will permanently close its doors in 2017. Freeman, whose father attended St. Pius, is concerned the school’s history and legacy will vanish and that the 95-year-history will be no more than a plaque on the new school building’s wall. “Many families make the same sacrifice I do in order to get their children to St. Pius because of the quality of the educational environment,” Freeman says. “Where does the history go? The new school made a major decision without really understanding the history of both schools.” The Guardian Catholic School is scheduled to open just in time for the 2017 academic year and will combine approximately 200 students from St. Pius and approximately 300 students from Holy Rosary Catholic School into one student population. The new school grounds are nearing completion, on the land adjacent to where Holy Rosary currently stands. Mervin Denny, executive director of advancement for The Guardian Schools, explains that both St. Pius V and Holy Rosary were already Guardian Schools at the time the decision was made to unite them in the new building. When asked to clarify the name, Denny elaborates, “The Guardian Catholic Schools is a 501(c)(3) organization, which stepped in 20 years ago to support both St. Pius and Holy Rosary at a time when both were struggling to remain sustainable. The name of the new school, The Guardian Catholic School (not plural), was chosen by the Bishop of St. Augustine.”
Denny says that it was the nonprofit organization that embarked on a fundraising campaign to raise the $10 million necessary for the build-out of the new school and that all plans were approved by the Diocese of St. Augustine, as the Bishop owns all of the land on which both schools sit. “We spoke with both communities [St. Pius and Holy Rosary] and from the very beginning wanted to preserve the history of both schools,” Denny says. Freeman is concerned about precisely that. “All I have heard is that there is going to be one wall with plaques and pictures of both schools,” she laments. She is not convinced that The Guardian Catholic Schools’ organization kept the community completely in the know. She has email threads of exchanges with Paul Kerins, chairman of the board at The Guardian Catholic Schools, in which she requests to attend the board meetings and is informed by Kerins that the board meetings were not open to the public. “I just wanted to attend as a concerned parent,” she says. Kerins did reply to Freeman informing her that her suggestions, which included naming the lower and upper school after St. Pius and Holy Rosary, respectively, were taken into consideration. Freeman also suggested that a liaison be hired to help both schools unite. “These schools compete against each other in academics and sports,” Freeman says, “they are two separate school cultures and we have to be conscious of the rivalry present.” Sister Cynthia Shaffer, a Sister of Notre Dame and current principal at Holy Rosary, says, “Yes, the schools are historically different, but we have been working to unite both schools; we’ve been promoting the new schools for almost four years now.” She adds that students from both schools have been attending combined dances and field trips for some time. Sister Dianne Rumschlag, executive director of education for The Guardian
Endya Freeman Catholic Schools, says that a legacy wall recalling the schools’ histories was the outcome reached by the organization’s heritage committee, a group comprising organization board members, alumni and administrators. “The heritage committee kept a list of significant historical factors and traditions of both schools and decided that the legacy wall was a good start in preserving the histories of the schools,” Sister Rumschlag says. She also points out that there will be pictures and videos around the new building, but that plans for those are not yet solidified. As for the location of the new building being on the land of Holy Rosary, Sister Rumschlag says that it was the Diocese’s decision to build on that site. “Future plans for the St. Pius building are not solidified. The building belongs to the Bishop and the ultimate decision will come from there,” she says. Lauren May, principal of St. Pius, is also unsure what will become of the current building. “The history of the two schools is important and we have been hoping for a new structure for some time, but what makes these schools is the amazing community, and 99 percent of our parents are happy with the new [Guardian Catholic School] building,” May says. “We are working on ways to remember the name ‘St. Pius.’” But Freeman cannot stomach the uncertainty. “I am happy about the new school and the new building, but I feel like I have no one to turn to,” Freeman says. Freeman was frustrated not only by what she calls a “lack of communication,” but also unnerved by the number of parents who would complain to her, but not speak up to The Guardian Catholic Schools’ board and administrators. “It is great to build a big house, but that does not make it a home,” Freeman says. “When it is all said and done, who will ever utter the name ‘St. Pius’ again and remember the history of that name?” Josué Cruz mail@folioweekly.com
photo by Ellyn McDonald
SUNDAY’S DEFEAT SECURES ANOTHER LOSING season for the Jaguars. Another year of being a laughingstock, as the dumpster fire burns bright. “I don’t even want to call it a dumpster fire because it’s cold outside and I could use a fire right now,” said fan Will Weber, who also stated he’s not wearing teal anymore. For anybody keeping track, or if it’s been too long to remember, the Jags haven’t had a winning season since 2007. Year Four of a rebuild that was supposed to bring us a division championship run has resulted in the team standing at 2-8; last place in one of the league’s worst divisions. Years past, fans begrudgingly accepted a poor season, focused on the off-season, put hope in the draft, but what’s the saving grace this year? The Jags have had great draft opportunities year after year, but they haven’t won six games or more since 2010; there’s been plenty of good pick spots. Head coach Gus Bradley coached in the college Senior Bowl for scouting and Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott was on his team. And yet, Bradley is 30 games under .500 in Year Four. Let that sink in. Not under .500 through 30 games, nope. Through 58 games, he’s under .500 by 30 games. What hope is there in a draft anymore? And where do we even start? “I don’t want a rookie QB,” said Weber. He believes quarterback Blake Bortles is a key problem on the team, but he fears drafting a quarterback will regress the offense and send us into another major rebuild. He also doesn’t see it happening because he claimed it would be a major blow to the reputation of general manager David Caldwell. And the quarterback position certainly isn’t the only issue on the team. Coaching staff and players have been saying for weeks they don’t know what the problem is. That’s because there isn’t “a” problem, there’s several problems that can’t be easily corrected. And for that, “It’s time to clean house, I want everyone gone at this point,” said Weber. “Who’s the equipment guy? Let’s get rid of him, too,” he added, half-jokingly. There’s little reason to believe Bradley will keep his job come the off-season. But will a new coaching staff stick with Bortles for one more year at Caldwell’s request? With the realization of a failed rebuild, there are certainly many more questions than answers for the team. This has resulted in fan frustration that’s loud on social media, in bars and on radio broadcasts, but the sentiment won’t be heard on a large scale until season ticket renewal time rolls around. Weber laughed at the idea of buying season tickets. Another lifelong fan, Al Huffman, scoffed and fired back, “Are you?” Fans have been let down before by the Jags, but continued to stand by their side. Will they continue to do the same after a failed rebuild? Talk is talk for now, so it’s tough to correctly say until season’s end. Mark Judson mail@folioweekly.com Facebook/FolioWeeklyJagCity MarkfromJax
NOVEMBER 23-29, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11
Rumble into PRISON with a motorcycling REVEREND
MINISTER
OF DEATH ROW STORY BY JAKE GERKEN 12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 23-29, 2016
PHOTOS BY DENNIS HO
I
always thought of myself as being a bad kid. When I was young, I had to work hard at it.
“I go to death row once a month. This is where I do what God has called me to do,” said the Reverend Al Paquette (left). On Nov. 5, Paquette and members of R.O.O.T. Motorcycle Prison Ministry (below, at top) visited Marion C. I., a medium security prison with a maximum population of just over 1,300.
But with drugs, being bad came natural … . It’s a true miracle that I can function today as a responsible person,” said the Reverend Al Paquette, as he lounged in the serene splendor of his fortified compound in an undisclosed location. As the founder and shepherd of a local prison ministry that provides redemption
and benedictions at more than 50 prisons throughout the country, you can’t be too careful. But, despite his saintly convictions, Paquette has a sordid history involving more
than 30 years of gang violence, larceny, grand theft auto, drug use, and general hooliganism. In his youth, his activities consisted of manic, senseless marauding, fraught with antisocial behavior and gross criminality.
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Paquette’s passion for motorcycles led him to design a custom chopper (above) called the “Doin’ Time Chopper,” which includes many authentic prison artifacts, including bullet shells, handcuffs, razor wire and more. Paquette and members of R.O.O.T. (right, at left) prepare for the day’s ministry.
MINISTER
OF DEATH ROW <<< FROM PREVIOUS
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grew up in South Swansea, Massachusetts,” said Paquette. “At the time, it wasn’t the best place to grow up. Basically, if you didn’t want to be messed with, you had to join a gang. So some friends and I formed a gang called ‘Pure Hell,’ and when I was 16 years old, I became the leader. Mostly because I had all the ‘good’ ideas.” As their leader, Paquette was responsible for organizing the group’s various civic activities, including but not limited to pilfering food, stealing cars, breaking-andentering, looting police cruisers, and, most memorably, buying, selling and consuming wholesale quantities of just about every illicit substance known in the Western Hemisphere. This drug-addled chaos lasted another three years, until, at 19 years old, Paquette joined the National Guard. Though Paquette was able to extricate himself from a life of crime, over the next 11 years, drugs and alcohol remained a formidable fixture of his daily regimen. “I was drinking as much as I could and getting as high as possible every night. For 11 years, my family watched me drown myself in liquor
night after night; I was retching constantly,” Paquette said solemnly. Finally, in September 1985, Paquette’s life took a dramatic turn. “I went out riding that night with a good friend who spoke to me about God. It was also the first time that someone had actually described hell to me. It was terrifying,” said Paquette. “ … But I didn’t get on my knees and ask forgiveness or anything like that. I just smoked another joint and went to bed.” “The next morning, I was brought out of a dead sleep with this deep, intense pain in my chest. I thought I was having a heart attack,” said Paquette. “It took me two days to figure out what had happened.” Paquette believes the pain was God working within him. This powerful and transformative experience gave him the drive to get his GED, and then attend Valencia Community College, where he earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in religious studies. “Going to college was a trip,” said Paquette. “Here I am, 35 years old, going to class with a bunch of kids. I was working 50 hours a week at the time, so I took night classes twice a week. It took me four years to get my associate’s degree, and another 11 years to receive my bachelor’s. I guess you could say I was pretty busy for those 15 years.” In December 1999, Paquette says, he finally divined his true purpose, which led him to launch the humble beginnings of his prison
“Many guys have been [in prison] for over 25 YEARS, just sitting in their 6-foot-by-9-foot cell with a locker, toilet, sink, bunk, a TV and a little fan. THAT’S IT. That’s their life.” — PAQUETTE
ministry. Since then, for the past 16 years, Paquette has been slowly building his ministry, crusading from one cellblock to the next. He has since travelled throughout the contiguous United States, as well as Puerto Rico and the Dominican Republic, doing the Lord’s work at every prison, jail and correctional facility he can. “I go to these prisons because I see myself in a lot of these guys,” said Paquette. “I should be behind those bars, but for whatever reason, God had a different plan for me.” Paquette also makes monthly visits to Death Row at Union Correctional Institution in Starke, which houses some of Northeast Florida’s most notorious convicted killers. “I go to Death Row once a month,” said Paquette. “This is where I do what God has called me to do. It’s about 160 miles from my house and I blast up there on my bike, making sure to take the long way back so I can unwind. There are 14 doors you have to go through to get all the way back to Death Row, 12 of which require you to be buzzed in by armed guards in a control room … The first thing that hits you is the heat and stink of the place.” “ … Many guys have been there for over 25 years, just sitting in their 6-foot-by-9-foot cell with a locker, toilet, sink, bunk, a TV and a little fan. That’s it. That is their life. They will never touch a blade of grass again. They’ll always be surrounded by concrete. “They’ll never see a puppy dog. They’ll never again touch another human being. All their visits are through a glass panel with a phone.” A peculiar facet of Paquette’s ministry is his passion for motorcycles and an almost compulsive desire to share that passion with others. This passion led to Paquette’s foray into building and designing a custom chopper he’s named the “Doin’ Time Chopper,” a chromed-
out, big-wheeling 500-pound salute to all the men and women “doin’ time.” “It has been my dream for over 40 years to build a radical chopper, and it has many authentic prison artifacts,” said Paquette. For example, the bike’s Allen head bolt covers are bullet shells from a prison rifle range, the fender struts are peerless handcuffs and the black back fender is adorned with razor wire. The license plate bracket is a prison door handle, which is in turn bolted to a “bean flap,” which was used to serve food to prisoners. The horn is made from a prison tattoo gun and the front break caliper is actually an artifact from the Ohio State Reformatory where the 1994 Academy Award-winning movie, The Shawshank Redemption, was filmed. For Paquette, this bike doubles as a metaphor for allowing God into your life. “I took raw steel and built this bike into a thing of beauty,” said Paquette. “God can take you, as you are, and rebuild your life into something beautiful, too.”
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art of Paquette’s annual crusade involves accompanying R.O.O.T. — Motorcycle Prison Ministry, another Floridian ministry, on its annual excursion to Marion Correctional Institution in Ocala. R.O.O.T., an acronym for “Runnin’ Out Of Time,” was founded in 2007 by Tom and Debbie Whisenant. On its website, the nonprofit states, “We take the gospel of Jesus Christ on our motorcycles behind the wire of prisons all over the state of Florida.”
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MINISTER
OF DEATH ROW <<< FROM PREVIOUS R.O.O.T. is a 400-strong traveling band of Visigoth-like preachers and ministers who run their iron horses fast and loud across the Florida highways and back roads, from one prison to the next. On Nov. 5, the group visited Marion C.I., a medium-security prison with a maximum population of just over 1,300. “We are soldiers; our battle is in the back yard of the enemy,” says the R.O.O.T. website. It was seven in the morning when the 20 or so motorcycle Huns roared into the Marion C.I. parking lot. The sun had yet to rise, but you could see the prison fences looming ominously in the predawn black. Faint outlines of spiraling razor wire girded the tops and sprawled outward to the surrounding fields like hellborn vines. “That stuff is computer-designed,” explained Paquette. “As you move through it, it only cuts deeper. Before you know it, you’re wrapped in the stuff.” Most of the members had arrived by 7:30 a.m. and were congregating around their bikes. Most have felony or other convictions and transgressions and have since renounced their ne’er-do-well ways and devoted themselves to helping others find forgiveness and salvation through Christ. To name a few, there’s Rockin’ Rob, the bedraggled minstrel of the group, who did seven years and seven months behind bars. There’s Joseph Suggs, or just Suggs, who sat
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in prison for more than 15 years, and then there’s John Teixeira, or Big Tex, a swarthy pillar of flesh and muscle who previously had stacked sentences of 30 years, 60 years, plus a life sentence for a lifetime of crime and debauchery before mysteriously having all charges dropped. “I should never have gotten out,” said Big Tex. “Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d be where I am today. It was only by the grace of God that I got out. You know, I worked with Pablo Escobar and one of the largest drug cartels that ever came out of Colombia. I owned Siberian tigers, penthouses and exotic luxuries that you will likely never know. “But I don’t want any of that. I want to serve God, and help others find salvation through
Him, so that He can give them a second chance like He gave me.” Before entering through the towering electric gate, the marauding ministers have a custom of taking a few laps around the prison’s perimeter, for a proper public wake-up call. The thundering, fuel-injected reveille shook the sleep from the morning air as the 20 dynamos rumbled in unison. The R.O.O.T. volunteers call it “The Jericho,” after the battle of Jericho in which the Israelite army leveled the walls of the city after marching around the perimeter — blowing their trumpets of war.
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Before entering through the towering electric gate (above, left), it is customary for the marauding ministers to take a few laps around the prison’s perimeter, for a proper public wake-up call. Over the course of the day, the ministry shares personal narratives (above), prays with inmates (left), and passes out literature (below.
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MINISTER
OF DEATH ROW <<< FROM PREVIOUS Once inside, we were directed to the recreation field, an impressive open space complete with a basketball court, football field, soccer field, baseball diamond, and even a bocce ball court. The ministry set up on the basketball court, the bikes lined up in a halo, while rock ’n’ roll and hip-hop blared from a makeshift tent as they waited for the influx of prisoners to the field. By 10 a.m., the ministry was well underway, each member giving their own testimony, speaking of their nefarious pasts, as well as their salvation. Here we met Matt Williams, a scrawny, pale-faced man of middle age and average height who has been at Marion C.I. since 2013. Williams has previously served more than 27 years at other prisons throughout the country. He’s now serving a life sentence on a first-degree murder conviction and has little to no chance of parole. “R.O.O.T. offers classes here biweekly that I always try to attend,” said Williams. “There would probably be a lot more chaos here without these guys. Even when they leave,
“The most rewarding experience is finding someone I’ve talked with INSIDE prison, that is now finding success OUTSIDE of prison.” —PAQUETTE Exhausted and hungry after eight hours of preaching (above, left, below, bottom right), the ministry finally left the prison at 3:30 p.m. in a cavalcade of thunder and exhaust (top right).
everybody seems to be a lot calmer and more forgiving. For me, R.O.O.T. just gives me so many opportunities to not only get out of my cell, but also to make a positive impact on my life and others’ [lives]. “They’ve just shown me so much care and compassion. They don’t care what I’ve done, they just accept me and love me for who I am now. It just really touches my heart, and I want to give that back to the others here.” Jack York, one of the older and more laid-back of the inmates, is also serving a life sentence. He looks like a poorly drawn caricature of Ben Stein. York had previously lived in Duval County for a short time, but later moved, due to marital issues. York freely expounded on the positive effect that the ministry has had on him. “I’ll never be forgiven by those I hurt — nor forgive myself — for what I did,” said York. “But what’s done is done. I can’t change that. But what I can do is give myself to God, and try to live through Him and do right. I’ve known Paquette and R.O.O.T. for a while now, and they just really show people that despite what others may say or think about them, that God still loves them, no matter how bad things might seem or get. All you have to do is let Him into your life.” Exhausted and hungry after eight hours of preaching, the ministry finally left the prison at 3:30 p.m. in a cavalcade of thunder and exhaust. 18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 23-29, 2016
As they rolled out, one could see a sincere sense of joy and victory in their faces. Of course, they had reason beyond a good day’s work to rejoice: At the end of the day, they were able to leave the fortress of concrete and steel, say goodbye to the wholly regimented and stagnant existence of shit-food, illtempered guards and no immediate future. The ministers and volunteers like Paquette and the members of R.O.O.T. do what they can, and hope, in the end, that their god will show the same mercy to others as he has shown to them. For Paquette, he must live with the uncertainty of who will be offered that second chance, and who will be condemned to perpetual confinement. “The most rewarding experience is finding someone I’ve talked with inside prison who is now finding success outside of prison. Although it deeply saddens me when I have to see them go back,” said Paquette.
Up till now, Paquette’s life has been one of constant flux and flow. Bad trips and good trips; fast and wild in some moments, slow and dirty in others. If nothing else, Paquette is a living testament to the extremes of the human experience; a visible proof that people can change for the better. “Even if I never get through to some of them [the inmates], I still want to be there for them. They don’t have much else,” said Paquette. Jake Gerken mail@folioweekly.com
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FOLIO A + E
SPIRIT
ROCK MEDITATION On their FINAL ALBUM AND TOUR, the Soil & the Sun still deftly combine melody and mysticism
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rand Rapids, Michigan’s the Soil & the Sun made one hell of an album with 2014’s Meridian. It has flown under the radar for the past two-plus years, but if you’re into well-arranged songs, layered harmonies, and instruments beyond just guitars, bass and drums (they have those, too) you may want to pick up/download a copy. Meridian, the band’s latest, is akin to Fleet Foxes or Sufjan Stevens, both musically — with melodic swells and calm energy (I made that term up) — and lyrically, with lyrics that celebrate the wonders of life and the mysticism/
THE SOIL & THE SUN, OWEL
6:30 p.m. Nov. 27, 1904 Music Hall, Downtown, $10, 1904musichall.com
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spirituality of the world and it’s inhabitants, past and present. The band met in college — a Christian college, no less — so that surely plays a part in the lyrics and themes (“Are you in the sky/ Are you in my mind/Could I look into your A eyes” from “Are You?”). But the songs are not simply theses on celebration. They are rolling, rollicking and reserve judgment, instead asking more questions than providing answers. Folio Weekly recently caught up with ffrontman Alex McGrath to discuss the best description of the band’s music, the state of our country, and the now-quartet’s last tour. Folio Weekly: What’s going on? How are things with the band? Alex McGrath: Right now, we are two shows A into the tour and this is our last tour, so we are just kind of finishing up this trip and, I don’t know, trying to make the most of it. Soil and sunlight are elemental to growth and life, right? Yeah, I think so, definitely. The name came from a book [The Watermelon King by Daniel Wallace] that has resonated with us. That is what we want to be; positive in what goes on into our environment around us. Your music has been described as ethereal, dreamy and spiritual. I guess the word I would use is “full.” How would you describe it? Instead of placing it in some sort of genre, I would describe it in terms of exploration as artists and musicians. We didn’t set out to make a style or genre, or really even have a brand or image. It wasn’t ever calculated. Trying to put our music within a genre has never felt right for us. Even take Meridian: within Meridian, there’s a pretty wide range of influences and the songs can be very different from one song to the next. It was an experiment of spiritual expression.
FILM Bleed for This ARTS David Ponsler MUSIC Queensrÿche LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CALENDAR
A meridian is a constant longitude that passes through a point on the earth’s surface. It’s also the name of your album. What do they have in common? Meridian came first as just a word. I was driving our bus down the highway and was brainstorming different words and I didn’t actually know what it meant at the time — I knew the definition — but there are multiple layers of meaning for the word. The album, like you said, is very full, and has multiple levels of sound and meanings, and so another one of the definitions of the word is “a star at its highest point of the day, passing through the poles.” Those kind of seemed fitting. At the time, we didn’t know it would be our last album. When you think about it in that context, with that meaning, it fits. How much does spirituality play into your music? Some of the song titles on your album [“Samyaza,” “Sundar Singh”] suggest at least a working knowledge of religion. Quite a bit for me personally since I am the lyricist, and so those concepts work their way in lyrically. I grew up going to church and that was my first exposure to music; learning drums and guitar so I could play in the church band. As an adult now, I’m drawn back to it and I want to reexamine all of that and what it used to mean to me. I think about those things a lot, that’s a big part of my life. When I write songs, I tend to lean in that direction. Based on what has recently transpired — and making no assumptions about your
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political leanings — how does the election, and the current state of angst and passion in this country, inspire you and your music? It will definitely influence me as an artist. I’m not sure how yet, it’s still so fresh. It’s hard to imagine being an artist in these times and not be influenced by what is happening in our country and in the world. I don’t know personally how that will look for me as I move forward musically. But songwriting has always been a personal outlet, and I guess it can be introspective for me, and a release of my personal conversations I have with myself. You just can’t ignore what’s going on right now. It will definitely be a part of my creative expression from here on in, I’m sure. So why the break-up? Things seem to be going so well. We have been doing this for seven or eight years now and it’s sort of been the driving factor behind every major life decision my wife and I have made. This isn’t a bad thing, but as we get older, some other things in life we want to pursue, we feel like it would be really difficult to keep giving 100 percent of our energy to the band and also go in the other directions we want to go with our music and in our personal lives. So we decided that it would be good to close things out on good terms while we are all still happy. We are happy with everything we have accomplished and the tours and albums we got to do. But I think within the band, we’re all getting pulled in different directions and so we are going to go our separate ways and not wait for it to happen against our wills. The future for me is always going to involve making new music. Danny Kelly mail@folioweekly.com
FOLIO A+E : FILM
True-life boxing flick GOES DOWN in the final round
HARDLY A
KNOCKOUT F
liberally condensed to tell a more dramatic or its first 45 minutes, Bleed For This is story in under two hours. No shame in that. a typical boxing movie: Talented fighter Vinny’s mental strength is an inspiration, Vinny Pazienza (a game Miles Teller) has and Teller’s performance effectively gets us talent and determination, but a lot to learn. to like Vinny in spite of his vices (gambling, He teams with down-on-his-luck trainer women). Too bad writer/director Ben Kevin Rooney (Aaron Eckhart), works hard, Younger’s third act goes straight back to and finds success. being predictable, which in part is inevitable, What comes next, however, is anything because it’s based on a true story, and in part but typical: Vinny breaks his neck in a horrific is unforgiveable for being handled in such car accident. He opts to wear a “halo” on his a trite way. Genre movies are upper torso that literally successful because they bring screws into his head. The BLEED FOR THIS new takes to old conventions; idea is for the neck to heal **G@ aside from the injury, Bleed For itself as it’s held in place for Rated R This doesn’t bring anything new six months. Everyone tells to the table. him he’ll never fight again. It also falls short in terms of Heck, he’ll be lucky just to standard boxing movie expectations. There walk again. This middle portion is where the film is are no great training montages. The music, at its best, specifically because it strays from both the songs and original score, are not boxing movie basics and allows Teller and dynamic. The fight choreography — meaning Eckhart to put their acting skills to the test how it was shot, not the actual fighting itself (both are superb). Unsurprisingly, Vinny is — is as boring as it gets. There’s trash talk at the only one who believes he’ll get back in the a press conference, but nothing memorable. ring. In a telling moment, he reveals to Kevin Vinny’s adversity may lead to a heck of a that what scares him the most is giving up, in personal triumph, but it doesn’t make for a large part because it would be so easy to do. great boxing movie. This is where his willpower comes into play — This is as moderate a film recommendation all he knows is boxing, and he has no desire to as can be given, for a movie that in its entirety do anything else. You can’t help but root for a is profoundly average. And yet I walked away guy who has a clear goal and goes after it with smiling rather than annoyed, mostly because all he’s got. I liked the characters, who were enough to Perhaps you remember the true events overcome weak storytelling. from the late ’80s/early ’90s on which the Dan Hudak story is based, some of which have been mail@folioweekly.com NOVEMBER 23-29, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 21
FOLIO A+E : MAGIC LANTERNS
WOMAN
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WICKED BARLEY FALL FEST Wicked Barley Brewing Company
DOWNTOWN LIGHTING CEREMONY City Of Fernandina Beach Parks & Recreation
AARON BRASK 27 MUSIC FOR THE HOLIDAYS NOV
South Jacksonville Presbyterian Church
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MOVEMBER WRAP UP RIDE Jax Vintage Moto Night
SCARE THE DICKENS GHOST TOUR
Raven Promotions & Aunt Matilda’s Steampunk Trunk
NIGHT OF THE PIRATE Whitey’s Fish Camp
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F
ilm director Karyn Kusama might not be a household name, having directed only four feature films in the last 15 years. Still, she has been championed as another woman trying to break into the male-dominated control center of the Hollywood scene. Girlfight, starring Michelle Rodriguez as a female boxer, was an auspicious debut for writer/producer/director Kusama, winning the Director’s Prize and Grand Jury Prize at the 2000 Sundance festival. Apart from the art crowd, though, the film failed to connect with mainstream audiences. Yet she got big studio money for her sophomore effort in 2005, the sciencefiction dystopian thriller Aeon Flux, starring Charlize Theron as a leggy assassin. Despite its impressive cast with two Oscar winners (Theron and Frances McDormand) and impressive effects, the movie mostly bombed with viewers and critics. Kusama blamed the studio for extensive unsolicited intervention. Four years later, results and complaints were much the same for Jennifer’s Body, the highly publicized horror comedy written by Oscar-winner Diablo Cody as her follow-up to Juno. With then red-hot Megan Fox as a demon-possessed Mean Girl and Amanda Seyfried as her nerdy good-girl buddy, Jennifer’s Body played like a cross between Heathers and Carrie. Most of the film is terrific black comedy with Cody’s telltale pokes at high school and middle-class conventions, but the last third — going for the jugular instead of the funny bone — doesn’t quite work. Kusama blamed the studio; the big boys blamed her. In retrospect, Jennifer’s Body is better than its reputation, the rewards outweighing the disappointments. Returning to her independent roots after a long absence, Kusama crafted her best film yet last year. Though The Invitation has generally received better critical reception than Girlfight, viewers had little chance to see it on the big screen, thanks to wary pennywise distributors. Just released on DVD, we can hope the film will find the audience it deserves. Co-written by Phil Hay (Kusama’s husband) and Matt Manfredi, The Invitation is more accurately described as a suspense thriller rather than the horror film some would label it. One of the movie’s many pleasures is how Kusama plays on our expectations, seguing from dramatic tension into downright dread before wrapping things up with a conclusion as unexpected as it is chilling and satisfying. On their way to a dinner party in the Hollywood Hills, Will (Logan Marsall-Green) and his girlfriend Kira (Emayatzy Corinealdi) hit a coyote, requiring Will to put the animal out of its misery with a tire iron. An unsettling
Celebrate the empowering, intense films of CINEMATIC BADASS Karyn Kusama beginning to the evening and the movie, the episode establishes a tone of uneasiness that’s gradually ratcheted tighter and tighter. Hosting the party of old friends are Will’s ex-wife Eden (Tammy Blanchard) and her new husband David (Michiel Huisman of Game of Thrones and The Age of Adaline). The Hollywood Hills home was once Will’s and Eden’s, but he left her the house after the divorce, occasioned by the death of their young son. The various friends of all types — including a gay couple and a pretty Asian American — are joined by two late arrivals, an ex-wild child (Lindsay Burdge) and a reformed murderer (John Carroll Lynch, Morgan’s stickwielding guru in The Walking Dead). Personal tensions and general weirdness begin to rise as the evening wears on; most of the tensions are due to the guilt and bitterness Will still has about his son’s death. It doesn’t help his mood that the party is at his former home. Then again, Eden and her new man seem almost too happy, ominously so, to be real. For instance, David insists on showing the guests a film, which he and Eden brought back from their stay with a charismatic cult figure in South America. Depicting the “happy” death of an elderly group member, David and Eden expect their guests to feel the same peace and happiness they got from the experience. Will doesn’t buy any of it, though, and grows increasingly suspicious about everything — for good reason, as it turns out. We expect something like this, but Kusama still manages to surprise and shock us all the way to the end. An eerie blend of The Big Chill and Straw Dogs, Karyn Kusama’s The Invitation deserves a prompt RSVP from those inclined to be thrilled. Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com
NOWSHOWING SUN-RAY CINEMA Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them, The Handmaiden and Arrival are currently screening at 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 3590049, sunraycinema.com. Moonlight starts Nov. 25. Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer runs Nov. 29. CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ Christine is currently screening. Captain Fantastic starts Nov. 24. The General runs 8 p.m. Nov. 24 for Cult Film Thursday at 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com. The Walking Dead is shown 9 p.m. every Sunday. IMAX THEATER Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them, Robots 3D, America Wild: National Parks Adventure, A Beautiful Planet and Secret Ocean are currently screening at World Golf Village IMAX Theater, St. Augustine, 940-4133, worldgolfimax. com. The Polar Express starts Nov. 25.
FOLIO A+E : ARTS
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he works appear somehow both immobile and moving. Offset with the surrounding greenery, their presence demands attention. Densely curved bone-or-toothshaped obelisks forged in steel are surrounded by veils of fabricated steel that appear to move around the centerpiece in a vortex of motion. Recently installed on the Cummer Museum’s J. Wayne & Delores Barr Weaver Community Sculpture Garden & Plaza, David Ponsler’s most recent exhibit is a testament to his life as both fine art sculptor and architectural metalworker. Chasing Shadows comprises four pieces that are all 96 inches tall, with an average width and depth of 30-by-30-inches. “My work is abstract and it’s more emotional, rather than my trying to say a specific thing. Somebody may think it’s figurative but in a very abstract way, but it’s not,” Ponsler tells Folio Weekly from his shop on McDuff Avenue. “It’s basically what I have come up with from being a blacksmith and metalworker for 45 years.” In the way that his visual art diffuses the ideas and perceptions between artist and audience, Ponsler’s vocation has been one of forging together visual art and functional, architectural pieces. “Usually when I’m asked to describe my art,” says Ponsler, “it’s more of a history lesson of how I got there.” The passion for marrying fire with materials like iron and steel, fused with tools like anvils and air hammer, is a tradition as much as vocation. “I got started really early. I started welding when I was eight years old,” says Ponsler, with a laugh. “I think I was getting on one of the employee’s nerves and he handed me a welder and a helmet and said ‘do this,’ probably hoping I’d get burned and run away!” The young Ponsler immediately began creating shapes. “The first thing I did was grab these pieces of castoff scraps and started building these little sculptures.” At the age of 13, Ponsler began exploring the ancient art of blacksmithing. “But at that point I knew no one who was doing it; no one in my family was even doing it,” acknowledges Ponsler. The artist notes that a few pivotal books on the trade were published during that time, which he studied intensely. “I realized that other people were still doing this. It opened up the world.” During the mid-’70s, while still in his early teens, Ponsler made innumerable railings for Baymeadows complexes during what he describes as “the apartment boom.” While a junior in high school, Ponsler went on a 28-day trip to Europe. Prior to this trip, he’d been only as far afield as North Carolina. The overseas travel offered Ponsler the opportunity to visit many of the major museums on the continent, including the National Gallery of London, Museo del Prado and the Louvre. “That was a real eye-opener,” he says. “And it really kicked off my desire to lean toward creating art.” In 1982, Ponsler went to his first conference of Artist-Blacksmith Association of North America, where blacksmiths from around the world gathered. There he met European blacksmiths whom he found “inspirational.” Ponsler eventually began traveling to Europe to attend similar conferences. “It’s a very interesting worldwide community.” While Ponsler describes himself as “totally self-taught,” with the humorous “PhD in Arts Perspective,” his decades-long experience of blacksmithing, metalwork and ongoing study has led to a life of curiosity, true autodidact astute in using ancient trades to make highly contemporary art. His devotion to the work is quasi-religious. Days can go as long as 14 to
16 hours, and working every day of the week is not uncommon, studying these molten metals, forming, hammering and coaxing life from a lifeless material. “Being a blacksmith means that you’re taking a piece of metal and you’re changing its shape by heating and hammering; that’s technically what forging is,” explains Ponsler. “You have the ability to create something graceful and smooth. Whereas someone who doesn’t do forging is typically called a fabricator, who are cutting and arranging straight materials and putting them together. Which is perfectly valid. But you don’t have the ability to make these crazy, monstrous pieces.” Ponsler is adept at both skills; the shroudlike veils that seem to zip around the totems of Chasing Shadows are made of fabricated steel. Yet his ultimate relationship is with the nearprimal of forging and blacksmithing. And after spending most of his life manipulating and guiding raw metal into original shapes, he’s noticed that each piece can bring its own character, if not identity, into play. “I’ve found that in all my work, especially sculpture, that
The scale, time and material costs for what Ponsler does are not cheap, and he’s vocal in his gratitude for the patronage of both the city of Jacksonville and state of Florida, and organizations like the Cultural Council of Greater Jacksonville, the Schulz Family Foundation, and the Robert D. & Isabelle T. Davis Endowment from the Community Foundation. “They were all crucial in making this new exhibit happen.” Like many artists working in Northeast Florida, being invited to display his art at the Cummer Museum is quite an honor and homecoming. “I started going to the Cummer when I was in elementary school, so I have a really long history with that museum,” says Ponsler. “I want people to realize that this is a really big honor for me. Growing up in Jacksonville and being an artist and having an exhibition at the Cummer, for me, it doesn’t get any better than this.” Daniel A. Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com
ELEMENTAL
POWERS David Ponsler transforms seriously HEAVY METAL into engaging, abstract sculpture
if there’s just one little kink, an ungrateful section of a line in the form, it keeps rearing its head, in the other forms.” There’s also a respect at work in having knowledge of the material and a decision to push that very metal to the limit. Set between each piece in Chasing Shadows stands a bronze piece, sculptures that Ponsler made in 2009. “I really asked some outrageous things of those pieces,” says Ponsler, noting that bronze work is usually cast and rarely forged. “I have other metalworkers look at those older pieces and they have no concept of how I came up with them. They usually think it’s more difficult than it actually is. Because it looks fabricated. If you had to take two separate pieces to make those shapes, it would be extremely difficult. But I made those each out of one piece of bronze, exploiting the fact that it’s folded, then forged, and then folded.” Due to “burnout,” Ponsler left the family business 15 years ago and started his own thriving company, Ponsler Metal & Design. Ponsler’s architectural work is seen locally in places like the staircase in Kickbacks Gastropub in Riverside, the gateway he created for Stockton Park in Ortega, and as far afield as the Bahamas. By his own estimation, he’s been featured in roughly two dozen solo and group fine art exhibits.
DAVID PONSLER: CHASING SHADOWS Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, Riverside, cummermuseum.org. The exhibit is on display through Oct. 4, 2017.
Chasing Shadows Series: His Closure, 2016, forged and fabricated steel, 96˝ x 26˝ x 30˝
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ARTS + EVENTS PERFORMANCE
A CHRISTMAS STORY Alhambra Theatre & Dining presents the wacky tale about Ralphie, who wants a genuine Red Ryder BB gun for Christmas; through Dec. 24. Dinner at 6 p.m.; brunch at noon, each featuring a themed menu by Executive Chef DeJuan Roy; at 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $49.95-$62 plus tax, 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. DREAMGIRLS Stage Aurora Theatrical Co. stages the R&B and soul musical smash at 8 p.m. Nov. 26 and 3 p.m. Nov. 27 at The Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 807-2010, $20, ritzjacksonville.com. THE OCTONAUTS LIVE! Captain Barnacles and the Octonauts take the audience on a mission to clean up the Great Barrier Reef at 6 p.m. Nov. 30 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $29.50-$49.50, floridatheatre.com. INTO THE WOODS The Acclaimed Fiasco Theater presents Stephen Sondheim and James Lapine’s Tony Award-winning musical, Into The Woods, blending popular fairy tales into a dark, witty story, at 8 p.m. Nov. 26 at Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts, 283 College Dr., Orange Park, 276-6750, $43-$73, thcenter.org.
CLASSICAL & JAZZ
JAZZ AT DASOTA The annual program is presented at 6 p.m. The Winter Jazz Night is held at 7:30 p.m.; both on Nov. 23 on Douglas Anderson School of the Arts’ Mainstage, 2445 San Diego Rd., San Marco, 346-5620; duvalschools.org. AARON BRASK AND FRIENDS Jacksonville Symphony French horn player Aaron Brask and friends perform music for the holiday season at 7 p.m. Nov. 27 at South Jacksonville Presbyterian Church, 2137 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 396-0567, sjaxpc.org. KENNY G Smooth jazz saxophone assassin Kenny G, the man Folio Weekly calls “the Albert Ayler of velvet, soprano sax tones,” performs at 8 p.m. Nov. 28 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $39.50-$69.50, floridatheatre.com. ORCHESTRA CONCERT: CARNIVAL OF THE ANIMALS This production, featuring live music, dance and narration, is staged at 7:30 p.m. Nov. 29 at University of North Florida’s Lazzara Performance Hall, 1 UNF Dr., Southside, 620-2878, $10, unf.edu/coas/music/calendar.aspx. JAZZ COMBOS UNF jazz groups perform at 7:30 p.m. Nov. 30 at University of North Florida’s Robinson Theater, 620-2878, unf.edu/coas/music/calendar.aspx.
COMEDY
GRANDMA LEE Northeast Florida’s favorite comedic daughter, Grandma Lee, (America’s Got Talent) wows the audience with her geriatric wisdom and vulgar volleys, at 7 and 9 p.m. Nov. 25 and 26 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, 292-4242, $15-$18, comedyzone.com. TALENT HARRIS Funnyman Harris, who wrote such humble films like Brotherly Love and Whiteboyz in the Hood, appears at 8 p.m. Nov. 25 and 26 at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-4277, $15-$25, jacksonvillecomedy.com. FRED’S ALL-STAR COMEDIANS Patrick Carson, David Emanuel, and others are on at 7:30 p.m. Nov. 23; Donna Williams, Bob Lauver, and others are on at 7:30 p.m. Nov. 29; at The Comedy Zone, $10, comedyzone.com.
CALLS & WORKSHOPS
NEW TOWN URBAN FARM Urban Geoponics and New Town are developing a large community garden at Pearce and West Third streets, in the New Town/Edward Waters area, Northside. It will provide fresh produce and a hands-on, open-air center of learning for the community and area students. Urban Farm meets 10 a.m.-1 p.m. every Sun. Details, call Diallo-Sekou at 706-284-9808.
ART WALKS & MARKETS
ST. AUGUSTINE ART & CRAFT FESTIVAL The 51st annual St. Augustine Art & Craft Festival, featuring craftspeople’s works in a variety of media including pottery, jewelry, sculpture, painting, photography and fiber art, is held 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Nov. 26 and 10 a.m.-4:30 p.m. Nov. 27 at Francis Field, West Castillo Drive, St. Augustine, staugustineartfestival.com. RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Local, regional art, music — Super Martin Bros, Mark Williams & Blue Horse and Elvis Kabong at 10:30 a.m. Nov. 26 — under the Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com. UPTOWN SATURDAY NIGHT The self-guided tour features galleries, antique stores and shops open from 5-9 p.m. Nov. 26 and every last Sat. in St. Augustine’s San Marco District, 824-3152.
MUSEUMS
AMELIA ISLAND MUSEUM OF HISTORY 233 S. Third St., Fernandina, 261-7378, ameliamuseum.org. It Came from the Attic: The Lesesne House is currently on display. CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 29 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummermuseum.org. David Ponsler: Chasing Shadows, is on display through Oct. 4, 2017. Folk Couture: Fashion & Folk Art, works by 13 artists inspired by Folk Art Museum, displays through Jan. 1. Lift: Contemporary Expressions of the African American Experience, works of local artists Thony Aiuppy, Glendia Cooper, Ingrid Damiani, Overstreet Ducasse, Dustin Harewood, Marsha Hatcher, Hiromi Moneyhun, Princess Rashid, Chip Southworth, Roosevelt Watson III, through Feb. 12. KARPELES MANUSCRIPT LIBRARY MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992, rain.org/~karpeles/jax. html. An exhibit of photographic works by Will Dickey, staff photographer for The Florida Times-Union, is on display through Dec. 30. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911, mocajacksonville.unf.edu. The Project Atrium: Nicola Lopez installation, A Gentle Defiance of Gravity & Form, a skyscraper-like construction that combines steel and printed imagery, is on display through Feb. 26. Leaves: Recent Prints & Sculpture by Donald Martin is on display through Jan. 22. Retro-Spective: Analog Photography in a Digital World, featuring contemporary photographers exploring 19th-century photographic processes, displays through Jan. 8. WORLD GOLF HALL OF FAME & MUSEUM 1 World Golf Pl., St. Augustine, 940-4133, worldgolfhalloffame.org. Grace & Grit – Women Champions Through the Years is on display.
GALLERIES
THE ART CENTER GALLERY Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 139, 233-9252, tacjacksonville.org. The Little Rembrandts Show, artwork by kids in grades K-8, is on display through Dec. 2. Princess Simpson Rashid is the featured artist for November. BREW FIVE POINTS 1024 Park St., Riverside, 374-5789, brewfivepoints.com. The exhibit Signs of Life, featuring new works by Chip Southworth, is currently on display. BUTTERFIELD GARAGE ART GALLERY 137 King St., St. Augustine, 825-4577, butterfieldgarage.com. The exhibit Fusion, featuring a contemporary collaborative of art glass and photography, is on display through Nov. 29. THE CULTURAL CENTER AT PONTE VEDRA BEACH 50 Executive Way, 280-0614, ccpvb.org. The exhibit Visions: Ancient & Modern, featuring works by Mary Lou Gibson and Worley Faver, displays through Jan. 5. DEERWOOD CENTER CAMPUS FSCJ, 9911 Old Baymeadows Rd., 997-2500, fscj.edu. Donald Martin: Leaves of Grass, inspired by Whitman’s poem, displays through Dec. 1. FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928, firststreetgalleryart.com. The 17th Annual Christmas Ornament Show is on display through Dec. 24. Watercolorist Sandra Baker Hinton’s Coastal Colors is on display through Jan. 4. FLORIDA MINING GALLERY 5300 Shad Rd., Southside, 535-7252, floridamininggallery.com. The exhibit Identity and Abstraction, featuring works by Michael Hunter, Christina West and Alex Jackson, is currently on display. GALLERY 1037 Reddi-Arts, 1037 Hendricks Ave., Southbank, 398-3161, jacksonvilleartistsguild.org. The Jacksonville Artists Guild (JAG) presents the exhibit Les Quatre Amis, featuring works by Princess Simpson Rashid, Annelies Dykgraaf, Cookie Davis and Marsha Hatcher, through December. HUBLEY GALLERY 804 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 429-9769. Mary Hubley’s Toescape exhibit is on display. KENT CAMPUS GALLERY FSCJ, 3939 Roosevelt Blvd., 646-2300, fscj.edu. The Student Holiday Show, featuring paintings, drawings, mixed media and digital media by Kent Campus art students, is on display through Dec. 6. MAGNOLIA’S PUB 1190 Edgewood Ave. S., Murray Hill, 240-1574, magnoliaspub.com. Kevin Arthur’s portrait art is featured during November. MONROE GALLERIES 40 W. Monroe St., Downtown, 881-0209, monroegalleries.com. Works by Jami Childers, Barbie Workman, Amber Angeloni, Zara Harriz, Amber Bailey and First Coast Plein Air Painters are displayed. MONYA ROWE GALLERY 4 Rohde Ave., St. Augustine, monyarowegallery.com. The exhibit Tropic Apparition, new works by painter Amy Lincoln, is on display through Dec. 18. NASSAU COUNTY LIBRARY 25 N. Fourth St., Fernandina Beach, 277-7365, nassaureads.com. The Art of the Japanese Print, from the Christine and Paul Meehan Collection, is on display through Dec. 30. PLUM GALLERY 10 Aviles St., St. Augustine, 825-0069, plumartgallery.com. New works by painter Sara Pedigo and assemblage artist Barbara J. Cornett are on display through February.
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A+E : MUSIC ARTS + EVENTS FOLIO n the pantheon of great American heavy ROTUNDA GALLERY St. Johns County Admin. Bldg., 500 San Sebastian View, St. Augustine, 471-9980. The Betty Griffin Center: A Day Without Violence exhibit is featured through Jan. 26. SO GALLERY The DeLO, 420 Broad St., Downtown, 901-5515, sublimeoriginal.com. The exhibit Life is Beautiful: An Exhibition of Works by Linda Broadfoot, Jim Draper, Thomas Hager, Chris Leidy and Steven Lyon, displays through Jan. 9. SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY Bank of America Tower, 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 150, 438-4358, southlightgallery.com. Jane Shirek and her Guilded Crown American Eagle series is featured during November; the works of 18 collaborative members are also featured. ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., 824-2310, staaa.org. The exhibit Florida Forever! is on display through December. THRASHER-HORNE CENTER FOR THE ARTS 283 College Dr., Orange Park, 276-6750, thcenter.org. New works by David Ouellette and Jennifer Tallerico are on display through Dec. 14.
BRASK IN POCKET
Jacksonville Symphony French horn player AARON BRASK AND FRIENDS perform music for the holiday season Nov. 27 at South Jacksonville Presbyterian Church, San Marco.
I
metal bands, it isn’t easy to figure out where to properly slot Queensrÿche. The Pacific Northwest quintet formed in the late ’70s as a Black Sabbath-inspired outfit called The Mob. In the early ’80s, they shifted their tone to fall in line with the faster Iron Maiden/Judas Priest-led New Wave of British Heavy Metal. In the mid-’80s, they tried glam metal on at the urging of their record label, “failing miserably” in the words of lead singer Geoff Tate. But then Tate, Chris DeGarmo, Michael Wilton, Eddie Jackson and Scott Rockenfield released two weighty concept albums — 1988’s Operation: Mindcrime and 1990’s Empire — that redefined the symphonic, even operatic heights that progressive metal could reach. If you’re wondering what happened next, it’s the stuff that VH1 Behind the Music specials are made of: mental illness, substance abuse, physical assaults, infighting over logos and royalties, record label bankruptcy and a vicious lawsuit resulting in a seismic split that still confuses fans to this day. The Queensrÿche that will play Mavericks Live in Downtown Jacksonville this week is radically different from the Queensrÿche that played basement shows in 1980 or major arenas in 1990 or Madison Square Garden in 2000 or U.S. military bases in Iraq in 2010 — most notably because Tate and his wife, who served as band manager for seven years, were fired by Wilton, Jackson and Rockenfield in 2012. That incident could stand alone as its own gripping melodrama: while on tour in South America in April 2012, Wilton, Jackson, and Rockenfield 86’d Geoff Tate, his wife and his stepdaughter, who ran Queensrÿche’s fan club. Tate protested the move by throwing punches and spitting at his bandmates on stage over the next few shows, which led everyone else to refuse to perform any more shows with him. Wilton, Jackson and Rockenfield quietly recruited Crimson Glory frontman Todd La Torre and performed two shows of Queensrÿche’s classic material at Seattle’s Hard Rock Café under the name Rising West. That prompted Tate to file a lawsuit, but a judge ruled in a preliminary motion that both parties could use the Queensrÿche name until a final settlement was reached. Both acts recorded
Seminal progressive metal band Queensrÿche FLIES HIGH once again after years of discord
BÜLLET
PRÖOF
AND BÄCK
albums, booked shows, and did all they could to try to “own” the Queensrÿche brand. But when the final judgment was reached, no one could quite understand it: Wilton, Jackson, Rockenfield, La Torre, and a fifth band member, Parker Lundgren, now owned exclusive rights to the Queensrÿche name and image, while Tate retained control over any performances of Operation: Mindcrime and its 2006 follow-up, Operation: Mindcrime II. Confused yet? Consider this additional language from the settlement:
“[Geoff Tate] can only refer to himself as the ‘Original Lead Singer of Queensrÿche’ or ‘Formerly of Queensrÿche’ for a period of two years and that text must be at least 50 percent smaller than his name in all materials. After this two-year period passes, he can only refer to himself as Geoff Tate with no mention of Queensrÿche at all.” Now, if you’re thinking: “Why did you just waste three paragraphs of this story talking about that?” I feel your pain. As AnybodyListening.net, the premiere
EVENTS
CHRISTMAS MADE IN THE SOUTH The 28th annual Christmas Made in the South, featuring artisans selling holidaythemed delights, including pottery, jewelry, metal sculpture, woodworking, glass, photography, and fine art, along with gourmet eats, takes place 9 a.m.-6 p.m. Nov. 25; 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Nov. 26, and 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Nov. 27 at Prime Osborn Convention Center, 1000 Water St., Downtown, $7; ages 12 and under free, madeinthesouthshows.com. ENCHANTED CHRISTMAS VILLAGE This family-friendly Christmas compound, which includes Santa’s workshop, letter-writing station to pen missives to Santa and U.S. troops, giant hay maze and hayrides, carousel rides, craft barn marketplace, food trucks, nightly performances, and more than one million lights, is open 5-10 p.m. Tue.-Fri. and 10 a.m.-10 p.m. Sat. and Sun., Nov. 25-Dec. 31 at 17255 Normandy Blvd., Northside, $22; $12 ages 3-13, children three and under free, jacksonvillechristmas.com. NORTHEAST FLORIDA WORLD AIDS WEEK Locals mark World AIDS Week with events including the opening display of the AIDS Memorial Quilt, a women and children celebration, free HIV testing/education day, a condom blitz, spoken word competition, and awards luncheon, Nov. 28-Dec. 2, at various locations in Jacksonville, for a full listing of events, go to neflworldaidsday.org. JAX ILLUMINATIONS HOLIDAY LIGHT SHOW The fourth annual Drive Thru Holiday Light Show, featuring a mile-long drive through more than a million holiday lights, is held nightly from 6-9:30 p.m. through Jan. 1 at Morocco Shrine Center, 3800 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Southside, $20; seven passenger maximum, $2.50 each additional passenger, jaxilluminations.com. _____________________________________________
To list an event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price, contact number to print to Daniel A. Brown – email dbrown@folioweekly.com or mail, 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Items run as space is available. Deadline noon Wed. for next Wed. printing. 26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 23-29, 2016
QUEENSRŸCHE with ARMORED SAINT, MIDNIGHT ETERNAL, RHYTHM OF FEAR
7 p.m. Nov. 29, Mavericks Live, Downtown, $25, mavericksatthelanding.com
Queensrÿche fan repository, states in a prologue to the band history, “With the drama that ensued from the lawsuit and many years of conflict between the members, the history of Queensrÿche’s original lineup has been swept under the carpet.” So how do we reclaim that? For music fans of a certain age who discovered most of their new music in MTV’s heyday, revisiting classic videos like “Eyes of a Stranger” and “Silent Lucidity” will cue up intense strains of ’80s metal nostalgia. But renewed attention to those songs’ elaborate orchestration and dystopian lyrics reveals layers of depth that contemporaries like Def Leppard and Motley Crüe never dreamed of. And is there any more fitting year for a reassessment of Operation: Mindcrime than 2016? That album’s concept — a recovering junkie loses faith in the corrupt society around him, expressing frustration with economic inequality and moralistic hypocrisy by joining a revolutionary organization/cult of personality dedicated to political assassinations — may resonate more today than it did in 1988. And even though most of Queensrÿche’s work in the 1990s and 2000s was pilloried as a blatant attempt to connect with the popular grunge/alt-rock movement, since all the aforementioned drama ended, the La Torre-fronted outfit has produced stunningly resonant work (see 2016 album Condition Hüman, which critics almost universally hailed as an extraordinary return to Queensrÿche’s earliest, most powerful form). If you’re a diehard fan, will you be disappointed to find out that Tate is no longer leading Queensrÿche? According to La Torre’s September interview with WallofSound.org, that depends on which you value more, the music or the men making it: “I knew that I would be criticized, but at the same time I was singing songs in the standard tuning, and they hadn’t played those songs in standard tuning for years,” La Torre said. “I was hitting notes that hadn’t been hit since 1995, and this was an advantage. The last two records we have done are more like Queensrÿche. Not trying to be cocky or rude, but as an outsider I had left the band as a fan, as they lost their touch and they had no balls.” Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly.com
Former American Idol winner and Grammy nominated R&B vocalist FANTASIA (pictured) performs with GUORDAN BANKS and LA’PORSHA RENAE Nov. 25 at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, Downtown.
LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK
UPCOMING CONCERTS
SPADE McQUADE 6 p.m. Nov. 23, Fionn MacCool’s Irish Pub, Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247. STEVE VAI 8 p.m. Nov. 23, The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $25-$49. 3 THE BAND 9 p.m. Nov. 24, Flying Iguana, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680. MIKE SHACKELFORD, STEVE SHANHOLTZER 7:30 p.m. Nov. 25, Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., St. Nicholas, 352-7008, $10. FANTASIA, GUORDAN BANKS, LA’PORSHA RENAE 8 p.m. Nov. 25, Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 Water St., Downtown, 6336110, $48.50-$58.50. APPALACHIAN DEATH TRAP, GHOSTWITCH, BORN IN JUNE 10 p.m. Nov. 25, The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 264-0611, $8. THE PEMBERWICKS 9 p.m. Nov. 25, Mardi Gras Sports Bar, 123 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine, 823-8806. PAUL IVEY & FRIENDS 9:30 p.m. Nov. 25, Whiskey Jax, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Southside, 634-7208. LUNAR COAST 10 p.m. Nov. 25 & 26, Flying Iguana. Riverside Arts Market: SUPER MARTIN BROS, MARK WILLIAMS & BLUE HORSE, ELVIS KABONG 10:30 a.m. Nov. 26, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449. AARON TILL 7:30 p.m. Nov. 26, Mudville Music Room, $10. GIN WIGMORE 8 p.m. Nov. 26, Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $15. MONKEY WRENCH 9 p.m. Nov. 26, Mardi Gras Sports Bar. ROGER THAT 10 p.m. Nov. 26, The Roadhouse. THE SOIL & THE SUN, OWEL 6:30 p.m. Nov. 27, 1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St., Downtown, $10. FLOTSAM & JETSAM, HATCHET 7 p.m. Nov. 27, Jack Rabbits, $15. RING OF FIRE REVIVAL 6 p.m. Nov. 27, Limelight Theatre, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, 825-1164, $5. QUEENSRYCHE, ARMORED SAINT, MIDNIGHT ETERNAL, RHYTHM OF FEAR 7 p.m. Nov. 29, Mavericks Live, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 356-1110, $25. DREAM THEATER (The Astonishing Live) 8 p.m. Nov. 29, The Florida Theatre, 355-2787, $39.50-$69.50. JAX BEAT BATTLE 7 p.m. Nov. 30, 1904 Music Hall, $5 advance; $10 day of. PERPETUAL GROOVE, LUCKY COSTELLO, CLOUD9 VIBES 8 p.m. Nov. 30, Mavericks Live, $17 advance; $20 day of. JIMMIE VAUGHAN & the TILT-A-WHIRL BAND 8 p.m. Nov. 30, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., 209-0399, $38-$42.
CALIFORNIA GUITAR TRIO Dec. 1, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BOYZ TO MEN Dec. 1, Thrasher-Horne Center PATRICK BARTLEY Dec. 1, Ritz Theatre DAVE KOZ & FRIENDS CHRISTMAS, VALERIE SIMPSON, KENNY LATIMORE, JONATHAN BUTLER Dec. 1, Florida Theatre Winter Formal: THE 1975, PHANTOGRAM, SILVERSUN PICKUPS, GLASS ANIMALS, COIN Dec. 2, St. Augustine Amphitheatre THE STANLEY CLARKE BAND Dec. 2, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SARA EVANS Dec. 2, The Florida Theatre ARSENIO HALL Dec. 2 & 3, The Comedy Zone SAM PACETTI Dec. 2, Mudville Music Room TONY JOE WHITE, MERE WOODARD Dec. 3, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ROCK ’N’ ROLL HOLIDAY SHOW Dec. 3, Florida Theatre BLACK VIOLIN Dec. 3, Ritz Theatre TRAVIS TRITT Dec. 4, The Florida Theatre WATERMEDOWN, DAISYHEAD, CAPSTAN Dec. 4, Courtyard Neptune Beach NIYKEE HEATON Dec. 4, Mavericks Live Jingle Jam for St. Jude: DAVID NAIL, GRANGER SMITH, RUNAWAY JUNE Dec. 7, Times-Union Center TAYLOR HICKS Dec. 7, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PIERCE PETTIS Dec. 8, Mudville Music Room PACO LIPPS Dec. 8, Cafe Eleven BARB WIRE DOLLS Dec. 9, Jack Rabbits Elio’s Quartet: ELIO PIEDRA, LIVAN MESA, YUNIOR ARRONTE, YORGIS GOIRICELAYA Dec. 10, Ritz Theatre CHRIS LANE Dec. 10, Mavericks Live GARRISON KEILLOR Dec. 11, The Florida Theatre A Peter White Christmas: RICK BRAUN, EUGE GROOVE Dec. 11, The Ritz Theatre THE OAK RIDGE BOYS Dec. 13, The Florida Theatre EDWIN McCAIN Dec. 14, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA Dec. 15, Veterans Memorial Arena GRIFFIN HOUSE Dec. 18, Café Eleven JACKIE EVANCHO Dec. 21, The Florida Theatre DONNA THE BUFFALO, BUTCH TRUCKS & THE FREIGHT TRAIN BAND Dec. 29, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE NTH POWER Dec. 30, Ritz Theatre SHEN YUN 2017 Jan. 3 & 4, Times-Union Center MICHAEL BOLTON Jan. 11, The Florida Theatre DAMIEN ESCOBAR Jan. 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall WIMPY RUTHERFORD & THE CRYPTICS Jan. 13, Shanghai Nobby’s DWEEZIL ZAPPA Jan. 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall
Winter Jam: CROWDER, BRITT NICOLE, TENTH AVENUE NORTH, ANDY MINEO, COLTON DIXON, THOUSAND FOOT KRUTCH, NEWSONG, OBB, SARAH REEVES, STEVEN MALCOLM Jan. 13, Veterans Memorial Arena LEWIS BLACK Jan. 13, The Florida Theatre HENRY ROLLINS Jan. 14, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall LOS LOBOS Jan. 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PINK MARTINI Jan. 17, The Florida Theatre MIKE DOUGHTY Jan. 18, Jack Rabbits DR. JOHN & THE NITE TRIPPERS Jan. 18, P.V. Concert Hall UPRIGHT CITIZENS BRIGADE Jan. 20, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PETER BRADLEY ADAMS Jan. 22, Cafe Eleven Spend the Night with BILLY CRYSTAL Jan. 25, TimesUnion Center’s Moran Theater JEANNE ROBERTSON Jan. 21, The Florida Theatre ELVIS LIVES Jan. 24, Times-Union Center GLADYS KNIGHT Jan. 25, The Florida Theatre LEE BRICE, JUSTIN MOORE, WILLIAM MICHAEL MORGAN Jan. 26, Veterans Memorial Arena KATHLEEN MADIGAN Jan. 27, The Florida Theatre J BOOG, JEMERE MORGAN Jan. 27, P. Vedra Concert Hall KENNY ROGERS, LINDA DAVIS Jan. 28, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Performing Arts THE BEACH BOYS Jan. 28, The Florida Theatre VOCALOSITY Feb. 1, The Florida Theatre CHRISTIE DASHIELL Feb. 2, Ritz Theatre ARLO GUTHRIE Feb. 2, The Florida Theatre TOM RUSH Feb. 3, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PAT METHENY, ANTONIO SANCHEZ, LINDA OH, GWILYM SIMCOCK Feb. 3, The Florida Theatre SARA WATKINS Feb. 4, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BOSTON POPS ESPLANDE ORCHESTRA Feb. 4, TimesUnion Center for the Performing Arts GAELIC STORM Feb. 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall G. LOVE & SPECIAL SAUCE Feb. 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall TAJ MAHAL Feb. 10, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall The BABES Feb. 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall Lincolnville Porch Fest: CHELSEA SADDLER, TELEPATHIC LINES, RIVERNECKS, THE WOBBLY TOMS, GHOST TROPIC, AMY HENDRICKSON, SAND FLEAS, ROBBIE DAMMIT & THE BROKEN STRINGS, NESTA, RAMONA QUIMBY, KYLE WAGONER, EARLY DISCLAIMERS, LONESOME BERT & THE SKINNY LIZARDS, KENSLEY STEWART, THE WILLOWWACKS, ASLYN & THE NAYSAYERS Feb. 12, St. Augustine UNDER THE STREETLAMP Feb. 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall
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LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC
Local heavy hitters APPALACHIAN DEATH TRAP (pictured) perform with GHOSTWITCH and BORN IN JUNE Nov. 25 at The Roadhouse, Orange Park.
AL DI MEOLA Feb. 14, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ANDY McKEE Feb. 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THREE DOG NIGHT, AMERICA Feb. 16, The Florida Theatre RICHARD THOMPSON Feb. 16, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE PAUL THORN BAND Feb. 17, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE PIANO GUYS Feb. 17, The Florida Theatre TOBYMAC, MATT MAHER, MANDISA, MAC POWELL, CAPITAL KINGS, RYAN STEVENSON, HOLLYN Feb. 17, Veterans Memorial Arena TRAE CROWDER, COREY RYAN FORESTER, DREW MORGAN Feb. 18, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SOUTHSIDE JOHNNY & THE ASBURY JUKES Feb. 19, The Florida Theatre COLIN HAY Feb. 22, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall JOE BONAMASSA Feb. 22, The Florida Theatre
MINDI ABAIR Feb. 23, Ritz Theatre MANHATTAN TRANSFER, TAKE 6 Feb. 23, Florida Theatre FOREIGNER, KANSAS Feb. 24, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ELIZABETH COOK, DALE WATSON Feb. 24, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall LESS THAN JAKE, PEPPER Feb. 25, St. Augustine Amphitheatre OLD 97’s, BOTTLE ROCKETS Feb. 25, P. Vedra Concert Hall DENNIS DeYOUNG, JACKSONVILLE ROCK SYMPHONY Feb. 26, The Florida Theatre AGENT ORANGE, GUTTERMOUTH, THE QUEERS, THE ATOM AGE Feb. 26, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Backyard Party TAJ EXPRESS Feb. 28, Times-Union Center AMOS LEE Feb. 28, The Florida Theatre MARC COHN March 1, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE WEIGHT, MEMBERS OF THE BAND March 3, Ponte
Vedra Concert Hall THE GROWLERS March 4, St. Augustine Amphitheatre LUCINDA WILLIAMS March 4, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SPYRO GYRA March 5, The Florida Theatre KODO March 11, The Florida Theatre CLINT BLACK March 12, The Florida Theatre THE CHARLIE DANIELS BAND March 16, Florida Theatre GET THE LED OUT March 17, The Florida Theatre ADAM SAVAGE, PILOBOLUS SHADOWLAND March 21, The Florida Theatre I Love The ’90s Tour: VANILLA ICE, NAUGHTY by NATURE, SUGAR RAY’S MARK McGRATH, BIZ MARKIE, ALL-4-ONE, YOUNG MC March 24, St. Augustine Amphitheatre CHEYENNE JACKSON March 24, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall 1964: The TRIBUTE March 25, St. Augustine Amphitheatre AIR SUPPLY March 26, The Florida Theatre JIM BRICKMAN March 31, The Florida Theatre RICK THOMAS April 1, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ANA POPOVIC April 5, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall LEO KOTTKE, KELLER WILLIAMS April 6, Florida Theatre LITTLE RIVER BAND, JACKSONVILLE ROCK SYMPHONY April 7, The Florida Theatre ANDRAE MURCHINSON April 8, Ritz Theatre NuSoul Revival Tour: MUSIQ SOULCHILD, LYFE JENNINGS, AVERY SUNSHINE, KINDRED THE FAMILY SOUL April 8, Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts BUDDY GUY, THE RIDES (Stephen Stills, Kenny Wayne Shepherd, Barry Goldberg) April 9, St. Augustine Amphitheatre CHRIS BOTTI April 18, The Florida Theatre MJ LIVE! April 20-23, Times-Union Center TOWER OF POWER April 22, The Florida Theatre RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS April 23, Veterans Memorial Arena WELCOME TO ROCKVILLE April 29 & 30, Metropolitan Park ERIC CHURCH May 5, Veterans Memorial Arena BASTILLE May 7, St. Augustine Amphitheatre TIM McGRAW & FAITH HILL Sept. 16, Veterans Memorial Arena DELFEAYO MARSALIS Sept. 29, Riverside Fine Arts Series
LIVE MUSIC CLUBS
AMELIA ISLAND + FERNANDINA
ALLEY CAT BEER HOUSE, 316 Centre St., 491-1001 John Springer every Thur. Brian Ernst every Fri. LA MANCHA, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646 Miguel Paley 5:30-9 p.m. every Fri.-Sun. Javier Parez every Sun. SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652 King Eddie & Pili Pili 6 p.m. Nov. 23. Tad Jennings Nov. 24. Mark O’Quinn, Michael Hewitt Nov. 25. JC & Mike, south Mouth, Davis Turner Nov. 26. Melissa Smith, JC & Mike Nov. 27. Mark O’Quinn Nov. 29 SURF RESTAURANT, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Black Jack Band every Fri.
AVONDALE + ORTEGA CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores 8 p.m. every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music 9 p.m. every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free 9 p.m. every Tue. & Thur. Indie dance 9 p.m. every Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance every Fri. MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200 Live music every Thur.-Sat.
28 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 23-29, 2016
LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC THE BEACHES (All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted)
BLUE TYPHOON, 2309 Beach Blvd., 379-3789 Billy Bowers 5:30 p.m. Nov. 30. Live music most weekends BLUE WATER ISLAND GRILL, 205 First St. N., 249-0083 Live music every weekend BRASS ANCHOR PUB, 2292 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0301 Joe Oliff 8 p.m. Nov. 23. Live music most weekends CASA MARINA HOTEL, 691 First St. N., 270-0025 The Chris Thomas Band Nov. 30 FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 3 the Band 9 p.m. Nov. 24. Lunar Coast 10 p.m. Nov. 25 & 26. Darren Corlew 8:30 p.m. Nov. 27 GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925 Groov 7:30 p.m. every Wed. Murray Goff every Fri. Under the Bus every Sat. Gene Nordan 6 p.m. every Sun. HARBOR TAVERN, 160 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, 246-2555 Live music most weekends LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 First St. N., 249-5181 Live music 10 p.m. Nov. 25 & 26. Dirty Pete 10 p.m. every Wed. Split Tone every Thur. Chillula every Sun. Be Easy every Mon. Krakajax every Tue. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 Third St. N., 241-5600 El Dub 9 p.m. Dec. 1. Live music every weekend MEZZA RESTAURANT & BAR, 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573 Gypsies Ginger every Wed. Mike Shackelford, Steve Shanholtzer every Thur. Mezza Shuffle every Mon. Trevor Tanner every Tue. RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877 Big John & the Band Nov. 23. Cloud 9 Nov. 25 & 26. Live music every Wed.-Sun. SEACHASERS, 831 First St. N., 372-0444 Cowboy Rolex 8 p.m. every Thur. SOUTHERN GROUNDS & CO., 200 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-2922 Holliday & Duffy 6 p.m. Nov. 23. John Austill 7 p.m. Nov. 25. A Nice Pair 7 p.m. Nov. 26. Wesley Anderson 6 p.m. Nov. 30. Jazz Corner 6 p.m. every Tue. WHISKEY JAX, 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy., 853-5973 Murray Goff 6 p.m. every Wed. ZETA BREWING, 131 First Ave. N., 372-0727 Live music every Thur.-Sat.
CAMDEN COUNTY, GA. CAPTAIN STAN’S SMOKEHOUSE, 700 Bedell Dr., Woodbine, 912-729-9552 Acoustic music 6:30 p.m. every Sat.
DOWNTOWN 1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N. Owel, The Soil & The Sun 6:30 p.m. Nov. 27. Jax Beat Battle 7 p.m. Nov. 30 DE REAL TING, 128 W. Adams St., 633-9738 De Lions of Jah 7 p.m. Nov. 25. Live music most weekends DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 DJ Brandon every Thur. DJ NickFresh every Sat. DJ Randall every Mon. DJ Hollywood every Tue. FIONN MacCOOL’S IRISH PUB, Jax Landing, 374-1247 Spade McQuade 6 p.m. Nov. 23. Mikey Clams Nov. 25. Jimmy Solari Nov. 26. Live music every Fri. & Sat. JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 Jeff Congo, Ryan Crary, Southern Sass, Aaron Thomas, Ashton Taylor, Stephen Quinn, David Medvidofsky, Celia Guerrero and Brittney Lawrence Nov. 25. Austin Park Band Nov. 26. 418 Band Nov. 27 MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Shotgun 10 p.m. every Sat. MAVERICKS LIVE, Jax Landing, 356-1110 Queensrÿche, Armored Saint, Midnight Eternal, Rhythm of Fear 7 p.m. Nov. 29. Perpetual Groove, Lucky Costello, Cloud9 Vibes 8 p.m. Nov. 30. Joe Buck, DJ Justin every Thur.-Sat. MYTH NIGHTCLUB, 333 E. Bay St., 707-0474 DJs Lady Miaou, Booty Boo, Cry Havoc, Some Dude 9 p.m. every Glitz Wed. Q45, live music every Wed. EDM every Thur. Eric Rush every Fri. DJ IBay every Sat. THE VOLSTEAD, 115 W. Adams St., 414-3171 Swing Dance Sundays 7 p.m.
FLEMING ISLAND MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999 Isaac Corbitt & Friends 9:30 p.m. Nov. 25. Live music most weekends WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 BriteSide 9 p.m. Nov. 25 & 26. Johnathan Lee 4 p.m. Nov. 27. Live music every Thur.-Sun.
INTRACOASTAL CLIFF’S BAR & GRILL, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 Good Wood Band 10 p.m. Nov. 23. HomeGrown 10 p.m. Nov. 25 & 26. Open mic every Tue. Live music most every weekend; Sundays on the deck JERRY’S, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766 Mr. Natural 7:30 p.m. Nov. 25
Prog-metal pioneers DREAM THEATER play their double-album The Astonishing in its entirety Nov. 29 at The Florida Theatre, Downtown.
MANDARIN ENZA’S ITALIAN RESTAURANT, 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 109, 268-4458 Brian Iannucci Nov. 23 & 27 IGGY’S SEAFOOD SHACK, 104 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 101, 209-5209 Live music every Fri. & Sat. DJ Greg every Wed.
ORANGE PARK + MIDDLEBURG DEE’S MUSIC BAR, 2141 Loch Rane Blvd., Ste. 140, 375-2240 Live music weekends. DJ Daddy-O every Tue. THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael on the piano every Tue.-Sat. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Appalachian Death Trip, Ghostwitch, Born in June 10 p.m. Nov. 25. Roger That 10 p.m. Nov. 26. Anton LaPlume Nov. 30. DJ Big Mike Dec. 1. Live music every weekend SHARK CLUB, 714 Park Ave., 215-1557 Digital Skyline 9 p.m. Nov. 23. Live music most weekends TAPS BAR & GRILL, 1605 C.R. 220, 278-9421 Smooth McFlea 8 p.m. Nov. 25
PONTE VEDRA BEACH PUSSER’S GRILLE, 816 A1A, 280-7766 Live music every Fri. & Sat. TABLE 1, 330 A1A, 280-5515 Javier Naranjo Nov. 23. Gary Starling Jazz Band Nov. 24. Billy Bowers 7:30 p.m. Nov. 25. Robbie Litt Nov. 26. Deron Baker Nov. 30
RIVERSIDE + WESTSIDE ACROSS THE STREET, 948 Edgewood Ave. S., 683-4182 Live music most weekends BRIXX, 220 Riverside Ave., 300-3928 Live music every Thur. & Fri. HOBNOB, 220 Riverside Ave., Ste. 10, 513-4272 Live music every Fri. MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave., 388-7807 878, Jigsaw, Unmasked, ABrodie 8 p.m. Dec. 9 NIGHTHAWKS, 2952 Roosevelt Blvd. Gold, Frankincense & Myrrh 7 p.m. Nov. 30. Live music most weekends RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET, 715 Riverside Ave. (under the bridge), 389-2449 Super Martin Bros, Roy Peak, Mark Williams & Blue Horse, Elvis Kabong Nov. 26 UNITY PLAZA, 220 Riverside Ave., 220-5830 Live music most every weekend
ST. AUGUSTINE CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 Brady Reich 2 p.m., Oh No 7 p.m. Nov. 25. Billy Buchanan & Free Avenue 7 p.m. Nov. 26. Vinny Jacobs 2 p.m. Nov. 27 MARDI GRAS, 123 San Marco Ave., 823-8806 The Pemberwicks 9 p.m. Nov. 25. Monkey Wrench 9 p.m. Nov. 26. Fre Gordon, acoustic open mic 7 p.m. every Sun. Justin Gurnsey, Musicians Exchange 8 p.m. every Mon. TAPS BAR & GRILL, 2220 C.R. 210, St. Johns, 819-1554 Chuck Nash 8 p.m. Nov. 23
SHANGHAI NOBBY’S, 10 Anastasia Blvd., 547-2188 Live music most weekends TEMPO, 16 Cathedral Place, 342-0286 Douglas Arrington 8 p.m. Nov. 24. Jazzy Blue 5 p.m., Tony Martin & the Troublemakers 8:30 p.m. Nov. 26. Jax English Salsa Band 6 p.m. Nov. 27. Bluez Dudez 7:30 p.m. Nov. 29. Open mic 7:30 p.m. every Wed. TRADEWINDS LOUNGE, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Cottonmouth 9 p.m. Nov. 25 & 26. Carrick, Wilson Hunter Band every Wed. JP Driver every Thur. Elizabeth Roth every Sat. Keith Godwin & the Rio Grande Band every Sun. Mark Hart, DVB every Mon. Mark Hart, Those Guys every Tue. Live music every night
SAN MARCO JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Gin Wigmore 8 p.m. Nov. 26. Flotsam & Jetsam, Hatchet 7 p.m. Nov. 27 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Mike Shackelford, Steve Shanholtzer 7:30 p.m. Nov. 25. Aaron Till 7:30 p.m. Nov. 26
SOUTHSIDE + BAYMEADOWS CORNER BISTRO & WINE BAR, 9823 Tapestry Pk. Cir., 619-1931 Matthew Hall 8 p.m. every Thur.-Sat. GREEK STREET CAFÉ, 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 503-0620 Tavernalive 6 p.m. every Mon. MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955 Courtnie Frazier 8 p.m. Nov. 25 WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., 634-7208 Paul Ivey & Friends 9:30 p.m. Nov. 25. Melissa Smith open mic every Thur. Blues jam every Sun. Country jam every Wed.
SPRINGFIELD + NORTHSIDE BOSTON’S, 13070 City Station Dr., 751-7499 Shayne Rammler 9 p.m. Nov. 24 THE HEADLAMP, 818 Clay St. Live music every Fri. & Sat. MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 15170 Max Leggett Parkway, 757-8843 Live music most every weekend OCEANWAY BAR, 12905 Main St. N., 647-9127 Band ontherun 5 p.m. Nov. 27 SANDOLLAR, 9716 Heckscher Dr., 251-2449 Live music every Fri.-Sun. SHANTYTOWN PUB, 22 W. Sixth St., 798-8222 10 Year Party: DJs 3 Clops I, Kidd Tzer 7 p.m. Nov. 25 ___________________________________________ To list your band’s gig, please send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price, and a contact number to print to Daniel A. Brown, email dbrown@ folioweekly.com or by the U.S. Postal Service, 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Events run on a spaceavailable basis. Deadline is at noon every Wednesday for the next Wednesday’s publication.
NOVEMBER 23-29, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 29
FOLIO DINING
At Moxie Kitchen + Cocktails in Southside, noted chef Tom Gray ensures the cuisine's presentation is as savory as its flavor. photo by Dennis Ho
AMELIA ISLAND + FERNANDINA BEACH
29 SOUTH EATS, 29 S. Third St., 277-7919, 29southrest aurant.com. Historic downtown bistro’s Chef Scotty Schwartz serves traditional regional cuisine with a modern twist. $$ L Tu-Sa; D M.-Sa; R Sa BEACH DINER, 2006 S. Eighth St., 310-3750, beachdiner. com. Innovative breakfast: Eggs on the Bayou, fish-n-grits; French toast, riders, omelets. Lunch fare: salads, burgers, sandwiches, shrimp & crabmeat salad. $ K TO B R L Daily BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F On the water at Centre Street’s end, it’s Southern hospitality in an upscale atmosphere; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo.com. F In historic building, family-owned café has worldly fare, madefrom-scratch dressings, sauces, desserts, sourcing fresh greens, veggies, seafood. Dine inside or al fresco under oak-shaded patio. Microbrew Karibrew Pub next door has beer brewed onsite, imports. $$ FB K TO R, Su; L Daily, D Tu-Su in season CHEZ LEZAN BAKERY CO., 1014 Atlantic Ave., 491-4663, chezlezanbakery.com. Fresh European-style breads, pastries: croissants, muffins, cakes, pies. $ TO B R L Daily THE CRAB TRAP, 31 N. Second St., 261-4749, ameliacrabtrap .com. F Nearly 40 years, family-owned-and-operated. Fresh local seafood, steaks, specials. HH. $$ FB L D Daily DAVID’S Restaurant & Lounge, 802 Ash St., 310-6049, amelia islanddavids.com. Steaks, fresh seafood, rack of lamb and ribeye, Chilean sea bass, in an upscale atmosphere. Chef Wesley Cox has a new lounge menu. $$$$ FB D Nightly DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 474313 E. S.R. 200, 310-6945. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK.
JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddianes cafe.com. F Renovated 1887 shotgun house. Faves: jambalaya, French toast, pancakes, mac & cheese, crêpes. Vegan items. Inside or porch overlooking historic area. $$ BW K TO B L D Daily LA MANCHA, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646. Spanish, Portuguese fare, Brazilian flair. Tapas, seafood, steaks, sangria. Drink specials. AYCE paella Sun. $$$ FB K TO D Nightly LARRY’S Subs, 474272 S.R. 200, 844-2225. F SEE ORANGE PARK. LECHONERA EL COQUÍ, 232 N. Second St., 432-7545. New Puerto Rican place. Chulleta kan kan (pork chops), Tripletta churosco sandwich, more. $ FB TO L D Tu-Su MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moonriver pizza.net. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Authentic Northern-style pizzas, 20+ toppings, pie/slice. Calzones, salads. $ BW TO L D M-Sa THE MUSTARD SEED CAFÉ, 833 Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Casual organic eatery, juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juices, herbal teas, coffees, daily specials. $$ K TO B L M-Sa THE PATIO PLACE, 416 Ash St., 410-3717, patioplacebistro. com. Bistro/wine bar/crêperie’s menu of global fare uses crêpes: starters, entrées, shareables, desserts. $$ BW TO B L D Tu-Su
DINING DIRECTORY KEY AVERAGE ENTRÉE COST $ $$
< $10 $ 10-$20
$$$ $$$$
$
20-$35 > $35
ABBREVIATIONS & SPECIAL NOTES BW = Beer/Wine FB = Full Bar K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch L = Lunch D = Dinner
Bite Club = Hosted Free Folio Weekly Bite Club Event F = Folio Weekly Distribution Spot
To list your restaurant, call your account manager or call or text SAM TAYLOR, Folio Weekly publisher, at 904-860-2465 (email: staylor@folioweekly.com). 30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 23-29, 2016
POINTE Restaurant, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabeth pointelodge.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. In award-winning inn Elizabeth Pointe Lodge. Seaside dining, open to public. Dine in or out. Hot buffet breakfast daily, full lunch menu. Homestyle soups, specialty sandwiches, salads, desserts. $$$ BW K B L D Daily THE SALTY PELICAN BAR & GRILL, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. 2nd-story outdoor bar. Owners T.J. & Al offer local seafood, fish tacos, Mayport shrimp, po’boys, cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Oceanfront. Award-winning handmade crabcakes, fried pickles, fresh seafood. Open-air 2nd floor, balcony, playground. $$ FB K L D Daily T-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. Eighth St., 261-6310. F Family-owned-and-operated 18+ years. Blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L M-Sa
ARLINGTON + REGENCY
DICK’S WINGS, 9119 Merrill Rd., Ste. 19, 745-9300. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK.
LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1301 Monument Rd., Ste. 5, 7245802. F SEE ORANGE PARK. SID & LINDA’S SEAFOOD MARKET & RESTAURANT, 12220 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 109, 503-8276. Pick a whole fresh fish, have it cleaned, filleted, cooked to order. Dine in, take out. Housemade sauces. $$ K TO L D Daily
AVONDALE + ORTEGA
CHOMP CHOMP, 4162 Herschel St., 329-1679. Relocated. Chef-inspired: The Philadelphia Experiment (sweet pork over arugula), panko-crusted chicken, burgers, Waldorf salad, bahn mi, Southern fried chicken, The Come Up (portabella mushroom, green tomato salsa, almonds). Curry Chomp chips, pasta salad. HH. $ BW L D Mon.-Sat. THE FOX RESTAURANT, 3580 St. Johns Ave., 387-2669. Owners Ian and Mary Chase offer fresh fare, homemade desserts. Breakfast all day; signature items: burgers, meatloaf, fried green tomatoes. $$ BW K L D Daily HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, harpoonlouies.net. F Locally owned & operated 20+ years. American pub. 1/2-lb. burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta. Local beers, HH. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200. F Bite Club. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.
PINEGROVE MARKET & DELI, 1511 PineGrove Ave., 389-8655, pinegrovemarket.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. 40+ years. Burgers, Cubans, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher, USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. Fri. & Sat. fish fry. $ BW TO B L D M-Sa RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaurant orsay.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. French/Southern bistro; local organic ingredients. Steak frites, mussels, pork chops. $$$ FB R, Su; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simplysaras.net. F Down-home fare from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Tu-Sa, B Sa
BAYMEADOWS
AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.
INDIA’S RESTAURANT, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajax.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Authentic cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetables, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L M-Sa; D Nightly LARRY’S Subs, 8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F SEE O. PARK. METRO DINER, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., 425-9142. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE SAN MARCO.
NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 11030 Baymeadows Rd., 260-2791. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE MANDARIN. THE WELL WATERING HOLE, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9, 737-7740, thewellwateringhole.com. Local craft beers, glass/ bottle wines. Meatloaf sandwich, pulled Peruvian chicken, vegan black bean burgers. $$ BW K TO L M-F; D Tu-Sa TEQUILAS, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 101, 363-1365, tequilasjacksonville.com. New Mexican place has casa-style dishes made with fresh, spicy hot ingredients. Vegetarian option. Top-shelf tequilas, drink specials. $$ FB K TO L D Daily WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 135, 634-7208, whiskeyjax.com. Gastropub. Craft beers, gourmet burgers, handhelds, street fare tacos, signature plates, whiskey. HH. $$ FB L D F-Su; D Nightly
DINING DIRECTORY AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0002, alspizza.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. NY-style gourmet pizzas, baked dishes. 28+ years. All day HH M-Thu. $ FB K TO L D Daily ANGIE’S SUBS, 1436 Beach Blvd., 246-2519. ANGIE’S Grom Subs, 204 Third Ave. S., 241-3663. Subs made with fresh ingredients, 25+ years. Huge salads, blue-ribbon iced tea. Grom has Sun. brunch, no alcohol. $ K BW TO L D Daily BEACH DINER, 501 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 249-6500. SEE AMELIA. BEACH HUT CAFÉ, 1281 Third St. S., 249-3516. 28+ years. Full breakfast menu served all day (darn good grits); hot plate specials Mon.-Fri. $ K TO B R L Daily CRUISERS GRILL, 319 23rd Ave. S., 270-0356, cruisersgrill. com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Locally owned & operated 20+ years. Half-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, big salads, awardwinning cheddar fries, sangria. $ BW K TO L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001, europeanstreet.com. F SEE RIVERSIDE. FAMOUS TOASTERY, 311 N. Third St., 372-0712, famous toastery.com. New place has breakfast and lunch: corned beef hash, gluten-free pancakes, bacon, omelets, eggs, toast. Wraps, Bloody Marys, mimosas, peach Bellini. $$ FB K TO B L Daily THE FISH COMPANY Restaurant, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 12, AB, 246-0123, thefishcojax.com. Bite Club. Casual. Oyster raw bar, fresh local seafood, Mayport shrimp, crab, lobster. Homestyle desserts. Patio; all-day HH Sun. $$ FB K TO L D Daily FLAMING SEAFOOD & SHAO KAO BBQ, 1289 Penman Rd., 853-6398. New place (is it Chinese? Barbecue? Seafood?) serves meats and vegetables, spiced, skewered on bamboo sticks – like Chinese street food. $ BW TO L D Daily FLYING IGUANA Taqueria & Tequila Bar, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680, flyingiguana.com. F Latin American: tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana fare. 100+ tequilas. $ FB TO L D Daily GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925, gustojax.com. Classic Old World Roman cuisine, large Italian menu: homestyle pasta, beef, chicken, fish delicacies; open pizza-tossing kitchen. Reservations encouraged. $$ FB TO L R D Tu-Su THE HASH HOUSE, 610 Third St. S., 422-0644, thelovingcup hashhouse.com. New place offers locally sourced fare, locally roasted coffees, gluten-free, vegan, vegetarian dishes – no GMOs or hormones. $ K TO B R L Daily LARRY’S Subs, 657 Third St. N., 247-9620. F SEE ORANGE PARK. MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 1018 Third St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600, mellowmushroom.com. F Bite Club. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Hoagies, gourmet pizzas: Mighty Meaty, vegetarian, Kosmic Karma. 35 tap beers. Nonstop HH. $ FB K TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 1534 3rd St. N., 853-6817. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE SAN MARCO.
M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-2599, mshackburgers. com. David and Matthew Medure flip burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes. Dine in or out. $$ BW L D Daily NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 1585 Third St. N., 458-1390. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE MANDARIN.
GRILL ME!
BITE-SIZED
CAMDEN COUNTY, GEORGIA
CAPTAIN STAN’S SMOKEHOUSE, 700 Bedell Dr., Woodbine, 912-729-9552 All manner of barbecue, plus sides, hot dogs, burgers, desserts. Dine inside or out on picnic tables. $$ FB K TO L & D Tu-Sa
DOWNTOWN
AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 21 W. Church St., 665-7324. 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 125, 446-3119, akelsdeli.com. F NYC-style deli. Fresh subs, sandwiches, burgers, gyros, wraps, vegetarian, breakfast, signature dressings. $ K TO B L M-F CANDY APPLE CAFÉ & COCKTAILS, 400 N. Hogan, 353-9717, thecandyapplecafeandcocktails.com. Chef-driven Southern/ French cuisine, sandwiches, entrées. $$ FB K L Daily; D Tu-Sa CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth St., 356-8282, casadoraitalian. com. F Chef Sam Hamidi serves Italian fare, 40+ years: veal, seafood, pizza. Homemade salad dressing. $ BW K L M-F; D M-Sa FIONN MACCOOL’S IRISH PUB & RESTAURANT, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1547, fionnmacs.com. Casual dining, uptown Irish atmosphere; fish & chips, Guinness lamb stew, black-andtan brownies. $$ FB K L D Daily INDOCHINE, 21 E. Adams St., Ste. 200, 598-5303, indochine jax.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Thai, Southeast Asian cuisine. Signature dishes: chicken Satay, soft shell crab; mango, sticky rice dessert. $$ FB TO L D M-F; D Tu-Sa OLIO MARKET, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com. F From-scratch soups, sandwiches. Duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L M-F; D F & Sa URBAN GRIND COFFEE COMPANY, 45 W. Bay, Ste. 102, 866-395-3954, 516-7799, urbangrind.coffee. Locally roasted whole bean brewed coffees, espressos, pastries, smoothies, bagels, cream cheeses. Chicken/tuna salad, sandwiches. WiFi. $ B L M-F. URBAN GRIND EXPRESS, 50 W. Laura, 516-7799. SEE ABOVE. ZODIAC BAR & GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283, thezodiacbarandgrill.com. 16+ years. Mediterranean cuisine, American fare, paninis, vegetarian dishes. Daily lunch buffet. Espressos, hookahs. HH M-F $ FB L M-F; D W-Sa
FLEMING ISLAND
DICK’S WINGS, 1803 East-West Parkway, 375-2559. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK.
GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 1915 East-West Parkway, 541-0009. F SEE RIVERSIDE. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999. F Bite Club. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.
TAPS Bar & Grill, 1605 C.R. 220, Ste. 145, 278-9421, tapspub lichouse.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. 50+ premium domestic, import tap beers. Burgers, sandwiches, entrées. $$ FB K L D Daily WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteysfish camp.com. F Real fish camp. Gator tail, freshwater catfish, daily specials, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar. Come by boat, bike or car. $ FB K TO L Tu-Su; D Nightly
PETE JAMES
Whitey's Fish Camp
2032 C.R. 220, Fleming Island Born in: Pittsfield, Massachusetts Years in the Biz: 15 Fave Restaurant: Texas Roadhouse, Orange Park Fave Cuisine Style: Italian Fave Ingredients: Onion, garlic and wine Ideal Meal: Parmesan Chicken Will Not Cross My Lips: Mussels Insider's Secret: Give respect, get respect Celeb Sighting (at my place): C&W star Justin Moore Taste Treat: Tiramisu
PARSONS SEAFOOD RESTAURANT, 1451 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 595-5789, parsonsseafoodrestaurant. com. The landmark place just moved; still serving local seafood dishes, sides, specialty fare. $$ FB K TO L D Tu-Su POE’S TAVERN, 363 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7637, poestavern. com. Gastropub, 50+ beers, burgers, fries, fish tacos, Edgar’s Drunken Chili, daily fish sandwich special. $$ FB K L D Daily RAGTIME TAVERN SEAFOOD & GRILL, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F 30+ years, iconic seafood place. Blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily HH, brunch Sun. $$ FB L D Daily SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 1018 Third St. N., 372-4456, saltlifefoodshack.com. Specialty items, tuna poke bowl, fresh sushi, Ensenada tacos, local fried shrimp. $$ FB K TO L D Daily SEACHASERS, 831 First St. N., 372-0444, seachasers.com. New place; four areas: First Street Bar, Music Room, Beach Bar, Dining Room. Daily HH. In or on patio. $$ FB L D Daily SLIDERS SEAFOOD GRILLE & OYSTER BAR, 218 First St., NB, 246-0881, slidersseafoodgrille.com. Beach-casual spot. Faves: Fresh fish tacos, gumbo. Key lime pie, ice cream sandwiches. Brunch Sun. $$ FB K L Sa/Su; D Nightly SURFWICHES SANDWICH SHOP, 1537 Penman Rd., 241-6996, surfwiches.com. Craft sandwich shop. Yankeestyle steak sandwiches, hoagies, all made to order. $ BW TO K L D Daily THIS CHICK’S KITCHEN, 353 Sixth Ave. S., 778-5404, thischickskitchen.com. Farm-to-table restaurant serving healthful, locally sourced clean meals. Gluten-free, vegan, vegetarian options. $$ TO L D W-Sa V PIZZA, 528 First St. N., 853-6633, vpizza.com. Traditional Neapolitana artisan pizza from Naples – Italy, not Florida, made with fresh ingredients. $$ FB TO L D Daily
INTRACOASTAL WEST
AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.
DICK’S WINGS, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 32, 223-0115. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK.
GERMAN SCHNITZEL HAUS, 13475 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 40, 221-9700, germanjax.com. Authentic German/fusion fare: schnitzels, plus bratwurst, stroganoff, käsesspätzle. 13 German beers in bottles, on tap. Bar bites, cocktails. Outdoor BierGarten. HH Tu-Thur. $$ FB L & D Tu-Su LARRY’S, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980. F SEE O.PARK. SURFWICHES SANDWICH SHOP, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 29, 559-5301. SEE BEACHES.
MANDARIN + NW ST. JOHNS
AKEL’S DELI, 12926 Gr +nbay Pkwy. W., 880-2008. F SEE DOWNTOWN.
AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.
BEACH Diner, 11362 San Jose Blvd., 683-0079. SEE AMELIA. CRUISERS, 5613 San Jose Blvd., 737-2874. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.
DICK’S WINGS, 100 Marketside Ave., 829-8134. 965 S.R. 16, 825-4540. 1610 University Blvd. W., 448-2110. 10391 Old St. Augustine, 880-7087. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK.
ENZA’S ITALIAN RESTAURANT, 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 109, 268-4458, enzas.net. Family-owned place serves Italian cuisine, veal, seafood, specials. $$$ FB K TO D Tu-Su FIRST COAST DELI & GRILL, 6082 St. Augustine Rd., 733-7477. Pancakes, bacon, sandwiches, burgers, wings. $ K TO B L Daily JAX DINER, 5065 St. Augustine Rd.,739-7070. New spot
photo by Brentley Stead
BEACHES (Venues are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)
THIS HIS SPUD’S FOR YO YOU Get in touch with your ROOT VEGETABLES
MR. POTATO SPREAD HAS BEEN AROUND for a few years now, but they’ve been in the corporate catering shadows. Now with their shiny new food truck, you’ll have access to ridiculously tasty, ridiculously stuffed baked potatoes far more regularly than you have ever had in your life! Living in the 21st Century does have some perks. As we know, potatoes are a magical root vegetable. The versatility of the potato has never been summed up so perfectly and succinctly as the immortal words of the great Samwise Gamgee, “boil ‘em, mash ‘em, stick ‘em in a stew!” While traversing Middle Earth made baked potatoes a bad option for the fellowship, it’s where Mr. Potato shines. You’ll feel good about getting your tater fix at Mr. Potato, too, because it’s a family operation. Chef and owner Aaron Spann and his wife Lakota have 3 kids; his oldest son works at the family business slinging tots.
BITE-SIZED MR. POTATO SPREAD
257-4548, mrpotatospread.com
Step right up and take a gander at the many options Mr. Potato has to offer and you’ll soon be dreaming of items like The Crab Pot Potato ($10). The Crab Pot has everything you would need, or want, in a good low country boil. I’m talking sausage, shrimp, crab, egg, kernels of corn and Old Bay seasoning! The bonus? Garlic butter drizzled over the whole thing. If you weren’t convinced a moment before, I’m sure you are now. If you are wondering how they manage to get everything in the potato, I’ll remind you that the actual potato vessel is huge. They also scoop a little bit of potato filling out, just to give more room for the delicious toppings. The Chicken Bacon Ranch Pot Potato ($8) was up next. This glorious potato version comes with a large helping of shredded chicken marinated in ranch seasoning. Aaron Spann, chef and owner of Mr. Potato, then crumbles bacon on top and adds cheese, tomato, green onions and a ranch dressing. If you’re feeling like you need some more Vitamin B in your life, switch up your order by subbing in a sweet potato for just a dollar. If you are a veg head, you’ll want the Vegetable Pot ($8), which comes with broccoli and cheese and peppers and onions for good measure. If you’re feeling a little more adventurous, like Frodo, and need an outlet, I suggest the “Create Your Own Pot,” which starts at $4. Then you can add any of the many extras that are available, like pulled pork ($3), shrimp ($2), etc. They do specials every month, too, and currently it’s a Shrimp Fajita Potato. They also have some other options like their Shepherd Pie Balls ($8), which you can currently only find on the truck. An order of this delectable majesty comes with four golden balls of rolled mashed potatoes filled with ground beef, corn, carrots and peas. Then it’s battered and fried. It’s pretty much the most perfect St. Patrick’s Day food! I’d say that Mr. Potato team has an “everything is bigger in Texas” philosophy. Each potato come served in a snappable plastic container, almost as if they are daring you to finish the giant in front of you but are willing to let you keep your pride by providing an easy option for plan B. Oh and FYI, they reheat really well, too, because even I wasn’t able to finish it all. To me, that means Mr. Potato has the Samwise Gamgee seal of approval. Brentley Stead biteclub@folioweekly.com NOVEMBER 23-29, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 31
DINING DIRECTORY PINT-SIZED Annual SPECIALL RELEASE bbecomes its own holiday tradition
serves local produce, meats, breads, seafood. $ TO B L Daily METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Organic soups, baked items, sandwiches, prepared foods. Juice, smoothie, coffee bar. All-natural organic beer/wine. $ BW TO K B L D Daily TAPS BAR & GRILL, 2220 C.R. 210 W., Ste. 314, 819-1554.
San Marco's original Metro Diner serves spot-on breakfast, lunch and dinner, as well as delightful desserts. photo by Dennis Ho
2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE FLEMING ISLAND.
V PIZZA, 12601 San Jose Blvd., 647-9424. SEE SAN MARCO. WHOLE FOODS MARKET, 10601 San Jose, Ste. 22, 288-1100, wholefoodsmarket.com. Prepared-food department, 80+ items, full-service/self-service bars: hot, salad, soup, dessert. Pizza, sushi, sandwich stations. Grapes, Hops & Grinds bar serves wines, beers (craft/tap), coffees. $$ BW K TO B L D Daily
THE WAITING GAME HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE WILL START LINING up in the dark, chilly hours before the sun rises on Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving. Some of these intrepid shoppers will not be waiting for the local big-box retailer to open, they will be waiting outside local beer shops for one of the beer world’s most anticipated brews: Bourbon County Brand Stout (BCBS). Since 2010, Goose Island Beer Company has been playing off Black Friday by releasing their coveted Bourbon County brews on the day after Thanksgiving. Inky black beers are much better than chaotic dashes to nab a $99 flat screen television, after all. “Last year, for the Bourbon County release,” explained Jeff Burns, co-owner of Beer:30 in San Marco, “people started lining up behind our store very early in the morning before we had even opened for business.” Several events intersected to create BCBS in 1992. The first was a chance meeting between Goose Island’s then-brewmaster Greg Hall and legendary bourbon man Booker Noe of Jim Beam, who has since passed away. Seated next to one another at a beer and spirits dinner, the two began chatting about Hall’s idea to age beer in bourbon barrels. By the end of the dinner, they’d agreed to try it. The second event was the brewing of Goose Island’s 1,000th batch of beer. Hall, wanting to make something special for the landmark batch, contacted Noe and acquired several used bourbon barrels, which then were filled with rich, thick stout and aged 100 days. The result was the first batch of Bourbon County Brand Stout. In the beginning, the stout was only served at the brewery’s taproom. The beer-drinking public loved it and word quickly spread of the outrageously alcoholic, motor oil-thick brew that was like nothing anyone had ever tasted before. The marriage of the two was magical. The brew was heavy with bourbon flavors like oak and vanilla, but also retained the essences of stout beer, like coffee and chocolate. Hence, one of the first monster special release brews was born. Now, more than 20 years later, the competition to get a yearly allotment of the brews continues unabated. To wile away hours in line, many bring coveted bottles from their own collections to share. This sharing of beer has come to be a tradition of sorts in lines for bottle releases around the country. This year, the lineup from Goose Island will include three brews: the flagship Bourbon County Brand Stout, Bourbon County Brand Coffee Stout and Bourbon County Brand Barleywine Ale. A fourth varietal, Bourbon County Maple Rye Stout, won’t be ready for a while longer and when it is, will only be available in Chicago. You might want to get in line early because this year’s release is smaller due to infected (soured) barrels. The infection is not harmful to humans, but it changes the beer from its intended flavor profile. In response to the infection, Goose Island implemented a controversial pasteurization program. In this process, bottles of the beer are quickly heated to kill off wayward bacteria. You can line up for BCBS at the bottle shops listed below:
PINT-SIZED
BEER:30 – SAN MARCO, 1543 San Marco Blvd. BEER:30 – KING STREET, 1271 King St. REALLY GOOD BEER STOP, 323 10th Ave. N., Jax Beach Marc Wisdom marc@folioweekly.com 32 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 23-29, 2016
ORANGE PARK
DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 6055 Youngerman Cir., 778-1101, dickswingsandgrill.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. NASCARthemed restaurant serves 365 varieties of wings, plus halfpound burgers, ribs, salads. $ FB K TO L D Daily THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959, hilltop-club.com. Southern fine dining. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. Extensive bourbon selection. $$$ FB D Tu-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 165, 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 15, 272-3553. 5733 Roosevelt, 446-9500. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove, 284-7789, larryssubs.com. F All over the area, Larry’s piles ’em high, serves ’em fast; 36+ years. Hot & cold subs, soups. Some Larry’s serve breakfast. $ K TO B L D Daily METRO DINER, 2034 Kingsley Ave., 375-8548. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611, roadhouse online.net. Sandwiches, wings, burgers and quesadillas for 35+ years. 75+ imported beers. $ FB L D Daily THE URBAN BEAN COFFEEHOUSE CAFÉ, 2023 Park Ave., 541-4938, theurbanbeancoffeehouse.com. Locally-owned-&operated. Coffee, espresso, smoothies, teas. Omelets, bagels, paninis, flatbread, hummus, salads, desserts. $$ K TO B L D Daily
PONTE VEDRA BEACH
AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A, 543-1494. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.
BEACH DINER, 880 A1A N., Ste. 2, 273-6545. SEE AMELIA. LARRY’S SUBS, 830 A1A N., Ste. 6, 273-3993. F SEE O.PARK. METRO DINER, 340 Front St., Ste. 700, 513-8422. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE SAN MARCO.
TRASCA & CO. EATERY, 155 Tourside Dr., Ste. 1500, 395-3989, trascaandco.com. Handcrafted Italian-inspired sandwiches, craft beers (many locals), craft coffees. $$ BW TO L R D Daily
RIVERSIDE, 5 PTS + WESTSIDE
13 GYPSIES, 887 Stockton St., 389-0330, 13gypsies.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Authentic Mediterranean cuisine: chorizo, tapas, blackened cod, pork skewers, coconut mango curry chicken. Breads from scratch onsite. $$ BW L D Tu-Sa, R Sa AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., Ste. 201, 388-8384. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.
BLACK SHEEP, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, blacksheep5points. com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. New American, Southern; local source ingredients. Daily specials, rooftop bar. HH. $$$ FB R Sa & Su; L M-F; D Nightly BREW FIVE POINTS, 1024 Park St., 714-3402, brewfive points.com. F Local craft beers, espresso, coffees, wine. Rotating drafts, 75+ can craft beers, tea. Waffles, toasts, desserts, coffees. $$ BW K B L Daily; late nite Tu-Sa BRIXX WOOD FIRED PIZZA, 220 Riverside Ave., 300-3928, brixxpizza.com. New place offers pizzas, pastas, soups. Gluten-free options. Daily specials, buy-one-get-one pizzas 10 p.m.-close. $$ FB K TO L D Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412, cornertaco.com. Made-from-scratch “Mexclectic street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free, vegetarian options. $ BW L D Tu-Su CUMMER CAFÉ, Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummer.org. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Light lunch, quick bites, locally roasted coffee, espresso-based beverages, homemade soups, sandwiches, gourmet desserts, daily specials. Dine in or in gardens. $ BW K L D Tu; L W-Su DERBY ON PARK, 1068 Park St., 379-3343, derbyonpark. net. New American cuisine, upscale retro in historic building. Oak Street Toast, shrimp & grits, lobster bites, 10-oz. gourmet burger. Dine inside or out. $$ FB TO Brunch Sa/Su; B, L D Tu-Su EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 2753 Park St., 384-9999. 130+ import beers, 20 on tap. Sandwiches. Outside dining at some EStreets. $ BW K L D Daily GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. F Juice bar uses certified organic fruits, veggies. Artisanal cheeses, 300 craft, import beers, 50 organic wines, produce, meats, vitamins, herbs, wraps, sides, sandwiches. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS ASIAN Street Fare, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Authentic dishes from mobile stalls: BBQ pork char sui, beef haw fun, Hawkers baos, chow faan, grilled Hawker skewers. $ BW TO L D Daily HOBNOB, 220 Riverside Ave., Ste. 110, 513-4272, hobnob withus.com. Unity Plaza. Global inspiration, local intention – ahi poke tuna, jumbo lump crab tacos. $$ FB TO R L D Daily IL DESCO, 2665 Park St., 290-6711, ildescojax.com. Authentic Italian cuisine, like wood-fired pizzas, pasta made daily onsite, baked Italian dishes, raw bar, spaghetti tacos. Daily HH. $$-$$$ FB K TO L D Daily JOHNNY’S Deli & Grille, 474 Riverside Ave., 356-8055. F Casual spot; made-to-order sandwiches, wraps, breakfast. $ TO B L M-Sa KNEAD BAKESHOP, 1173 Edgewood Ave. S., 634-7617. Locally owned, family-run shop specializing in made-fromscratch creations – classic pastries, artisan breads, savory pies, specialty sandwiches, soups. $ TO B L Tu-Su
LARRY’S SUBS, 1509 Margaret, 674-2794. 7895 Normandy, 781-7600. 8102 Blanding, 779-1933. F SEE ORANGE PARK. LITTLE JOE’S Café, 245 Riverside Ave., Ste. 195, 791-3336. Riverview café. Soups, signature salad dressings. $ TO B L M-F METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., 999-4600. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE SAN MARCO.
MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner.ret St., 423-1283. SEE BEACHES. RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Local-centric bar food: boiled peanuts, hummus, chili, cheese plate, pork sliders, nachos, herbivore items. $ D Nightly SOUTHERN ROOTS Filling Station, 1275 King St., 513-4726, southernrootsjax.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Fresh, light vegan fare; local, organic ingredients. Specials, on bread, local greens/rice, change daily. Sandwiches, coffees, teas. $ Tu-Su SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside Ave., Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushi cafejax.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Monster, Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll. Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. Indoors or patio dining. $$ BW L D Daily
ST. AUGUSTINE
AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.
CRUISERS GRILL, 3 St. George St., 824-6993. 2016 Best of Jax
Winner. SEE BEACHES.
DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 4010 U.S. 1 S., 547-2669. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK.
THE FLORIDIAN, 72 Spanish St., 829-0655, thefloridianstaug. com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Updated Southern fare; fresh, local ingredients sourced from area farms. Vegetarian, gluten-free option. Signature fried green tomato bruschetta, blackened fish cornbread stack; grits w/shrimp/fish/tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D W-M GAS FULL SERVICE Restaurant, 9 Anastasia Blvd., Ste. C, 217-0326. Changing menu; fresh, local, homemade. Meatloaf, veggie/traditional burgers, seafood, steaks; seasonal, daily specials, made-from-scratch desserts. $$ BW K TO L D Tu-Sa GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F Local mainstay 33+ years. Varied urban cuisine menu changes twice daily. Signature dish: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. $$ FB R Su; L D Daily MARDI GRAS Sports Bar, 123 San Marco Ave., 347-3288, mardibar.com. Wings, nachos, shrimp, chicken, Phillys, sliders, soft pretzels. $$ FB TO L D Daily MBQUE, 604 Anastasia Blvd., 484-7472. New Southern-style, fresh-casual. Handspun milkshakes, super kale salad. Housemade rubs, sauces. Platters, ribs, brisket, sweet/spicy pulled/ chopped pork, chicken, sausage. $$ BW K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040. F Bite Club. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.
O’LOUGHLIN PUB, 6975 A1A S., 429-9715. Family-owned-andoperated. Authentic fish & chips, shepherd’s pie, corned beef & cabbage, bangers & mash, duck wings. $$ FB K TO L D Daily SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 321 A1A Beach Blvd., 217-3256. SEE BEACHES.
METRO DINER, 1000 S. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 758-3323. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Serving dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. SHANGHAI NOBBY’S, 10 Anastasia Blvd., 547-2188. Cubanstyle, Philly cheesesteak sandwiches. $$ FB
SAN MARCO + SOUTHBANK
BEACH DINER, 1965 San Marco Blvd., 399-1306. SEE AMELIA. THE BEARDED PIG SOUTHERN BBQ & BEER GARDEN, 1224 Kings Ave., 619-2247, thebeardedpigbbq.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Barbecue joint offers Southern style BBQ, like brisket, pork, chicken, sausage, beef; veggie platters. $$ BW K TO Daily
BISTRO AIX, 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox.com. F Mediterranean/French inspired menu changes seasonally. 250+ wine list. Wood-fired oven baked, grilled specialties: pizza, pasta, risotto, steaks, seafood. Hand-crafted cocktails, specialty drinks. Dine outside. HH M-F. $$$ FB L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 398-9500. SEE RIVERSIDE.
FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusion sushijax.com. F Upscale; fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu, seafood. $$ K L D Daily INDOCHINE, 1974 San Marco Blvd., 503-7013. 2016 Best of
Jax Winner. SEE DOWNTOWN.
KITCHEN ON SAN MARCO, 1402 San Marco Blvd., 396-2344, kitchenonsanmarco.com. Gastropub serves local, national craft beers, specialty cocktails. Seasonal menu, with fresh, locally sourced ingredients. $$ FB R Su; L D Daily METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metrodiner. com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Original upscale diner in a historic 1930s-era building. Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, soups. This one serves dinner nightly. $$ B R L D Daily PIZZA PALACE RESTAURANT & PIZZERIA, 1959 San Marco Blvd., 399-8815, pizzapalacejax.com. F Family-owned&-operated; spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, ravioli, lasagna, parmigiana. Dine outside. HH. $$ BW K TO L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco Blvd., 398-3005, tavernasan marco.com. Chef Sam Efron’s authentic Italian; tapas, woodfired pizza. Seasonal local produce, meats. Craft beer (some local), cocktails, award-winning wine. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily V PIZZA, 1406 Hendricks Ave., 527-1511, vpizza.com. True Neapolitana pizzas with the freshest ingredients – a rare class of artisan pizza from Naples. $$ FB to L D Daily
SOUTHSIDE + TINSELTOWN
ALHAMBRA THEATRE & DINING, 12000 Beach Blvd., 6411212, alhambrajax.com. Open 50 years. Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus. Reservations. $$ FB D Tu-Su THE CHATTY CRAB, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138C, 888-0639, chattycrab.com. Chef Dana Pollard’s raw oysters, Nawlins low country boil, po’ boys, 50¢ wing specials. $$ FB K TO L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., 619-0954. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK.
EUROPEAN Street Café, 5500 Beach, 398-1717. SEE RIVERSIDE. GREEK STREET CAFÉ, 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Ste. 106, 503-0620, greekstreetcafe.com. Fresh, authentic, modern; Greek owners. Gyros, spanakopita, dolmades, falafel, salads, nachos. Award-winning wines. $$ BW K TO L D M-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F SEE ORANGE PARK. MARIANAS GRINDS, 11380 Beach Blvd., Ste. 10, 206-612-6596. Pacific Islander fare, chamorro culture. Soups, stews, fitada, beef oxtail, katden pika; empanadas, lumpia, chicken relaguen, BBQ-style ribs, chicken. $$ TO B L D Tu-Su MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955. F Bite Club. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.
M SHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000. SEE BEACHES. OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr., 900-7730, ovinte.com. Italy, Spain, Mediterranean flavor. Small plates, tapas, charcuterie: ceviche fresco, pappardelle bolognese, lobster ravioli. 240-bottle/ wines, 75/glass; craft spirits. $$ FB R, Su; D Nightly TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Ct., 854-0426, taverna yamas.com. F Bite Club. Charbroiled kabobs, seafood, desserts. Greek wines, daily HH. Bellydancing. $$ FB K TO L D Daily TOSSGREEN, 4375 Southside, Ste. 12, 619-4356. 4668 Town Crossing Dr., Ste. 105, 686-0234. Custom salads, burritos, burrito bowls; fruit, veggies, 100% natural chicken, sirloin, shrimp, tofu, cheese, dressing, salsa, frozen yogurt. $$ K TO L D Daily
DINING DIRECTORY SPRINGFIELD + NORTHSIDE
ANDY’S GRILL, 1810 W. Beaver St., 354-2821, jaxfarmers market.com. Jax Farmers Market. Local, regional, international produce. Breakfast, sandwiches, snacks, drinks. $ B L D Mon.-Sat. BARZ LIQUORS & FISH CAMP, 9560 Heckscher Dr., 251-3330. Authentic fish camp, biker-friendly, Americanowned. Package store. $ FB L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 12400 Yellow Bluff Rd., 619-9828.
CHEFFED-UP
450077 S.R. 200, 879-0993. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK.
HOLA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1001 N. Main St., 356-3100, holamexicanrestaurant.com. F Authentic fresh fajitas, burritos, specials, enchiladas, more. HH; sangria. BW K TO L D M-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 12001 Lem Turner Rd., 764-9999.
SEE O. PARK.
MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 15170 Max Leggett Pkwy., 757-8843. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.
GET
STUFFED Loosen your belt and go for seconds – IT’S THANKSGIVING! I HAVE OFFICIALLY SOLD OUT. Although I swore I wouldn’t, I’m writing the obligatory Thanksgiving column. I feel like I’m giving in to the hype, becoming a lemming, just some number in a demographic survey. But what the heck, ’tis the season. Turkey day, as this holiday is affectionately known, has arrived. For many Americans, Thanksgiving is their favorite holiday. Why? The food, of course. I read many food magazines as well as a few food blogs — in fact, I’m looking at one right now that’s chastising readers for roasting their birds whole. Give me a break, show-off. I’ve now reached the saturation point on Thanksgiving dinner preparation advice. Everyone is an expert — their recipes are the ultimate versions of the dish — they’re sharing old family recipes, with secrets only they can reveal. Really, enough already! Let’s talk turkey. Thanksgiving food is easy. At its very heart, it consists of a roasted bird, basic potatoes, simple gravy, a few other sides (mostly carb-loaded), and very basic pies. That’s it. So what’s the problem? Well, for most people, even good cooks, it’s the volume of dishes. Thanksgiving is not just a meal — it’s a feast. When most Americans are asked about Thanksgiving, they usually say, “I was so stuffed!” That’s a problem. As a chef, my goal is not to stuff people, but to excite, delight, amuse and satisfy. The meal should be a celebration of wellexecuted seasonal specialties, but instead it has turned into a gathering at the trough. But hey, y’all can celebrate any way you want and I’m happy to join; just don’t expect me to do the cooking. The sheer volume of dishes expected at the turkey day feast simply overwhelms not only the skills, but also the kitchen space of the majority of home cooks. As a result, they use a ton of shortcuts and mediocre convenience foods. Sad, but reality is harsh. Refrigerators don’t expand and extra ovens don’t mysteriously appear. There is simply no time or space to prepare delicious, wellcrafted items, and honestly, most of your relatives won’t appreciate the effort. My favorite example of this is the infamous green bean casserole. You know
the one of which I speak: canned green beans, Campbell’s cream of mushroom soup, topped with canned fried onions. It’s a truly incredible example of good intentions gone wrong. If any food could be compared to the Jags, this would be the one. The true crime, though, is that if you prepare the dish using properly cooked fresh haricot vert, create a luscious sherry spiked mushroom sauce, then pan-fry finely julienned shallots, the result is an incredibly memorable side dish. But that’s probably not happening ’cause most people prefer the first version anyway. Try this cranberry chutney, and don’t skimp on the Grand Marnier.
CHEFFED-UP
CHEF BILL’S CRANBERRY CHUTNEY
Ingredients: • 3 shallots, brunoise • 1 oz. butter • 10 oz. cranberries • 2/3 cup brown sugar • 1/4 cup apple cider vinegar • 1/4 cup Grand Marnier, plus shots for • the cook • 1 tsp. garlic, minced • 1 tsp. ginger, minced • 1 cinnamon stick • 2 cloves Directions: 1. Sweat the shallots, add garlic 1. and ginger. 2. Add vinegar, Grand Marnier, sugar, 1. and dissolve. 3. Add cranberries, salt and pepper. 1. Simmer for about 20-30 minutes, until 1. the berries pop. Adjust the seasonings. 4. Take a shot of Grand Marnier (optional), 1. and serve warm. Until we cook again,
Chef Bill cheffedup@folioweekly.com ____________________________________ Contact Chef Bill Thompson, owner of Amelia Island Culinary Academy in Fernandina Beach, at cheffedup@folioweekly.com with your recipes or questions, to find inspiration and get you Cheffed Up! NOVEMBER 23-29, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 33
PETS LOOKIN’ FOR LOVE FOLIO
FOLIO LIVING
W E E K LY
PET
LOVERS’
GUIDE
DEAR DAVI
BEST IN
SNUB Dear Davi, I heard that a dachshund has never won Best in Show at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. You mad? Boaz the Bull Terrier Boaz, Why throw shade when you could shed light? Since 1885, the wiener dog has racked up beaucoup wins in the Hound group with 10 Best of Group placements. That’s not too shabby for a breed that was bred to hunt badgers. Still, our paws have not touched the Steuben Crystal Bowl. Let’s take a look at which other popular breeds have never received the ultimate prize at Westminster. LABRADOR RETRIEVER: The Labrador might be America’s favorite dog, but that hasn’t helped this sporty breed bag the Best in Show award. Since they were recognized in 1917, these friendly companions have placed only 10 times at Westminster. GOLDEN RETRIEVER: Goldens may win hearts, but have won only three times since 1925. Maybe they should spend more time prepping for the crown and less time fetching tennis balls. MINIATURE SCHNAUZER: A standout of the Terrier group, the Mini Schnauzer was recognized in 1916. These ratters have scored one Best of Group win and seven other placements, but are still waiting to take home the top prize. SHIH TZU: The Shih Tzu was added to the Toy group in 1969. These lap dogs have done remarkably well by earning three Best in Group awards and 14 placements, but Best in Show? No. GREAT DANE: The Great Dane is one of the oldest notable breeds. They were first admitted into the Working group in 1887.
Davi spotlights Westminster’s history of WINNERS AND LOSERS Despite never winning Best in Show, these gentle giants have taken home five Best of Group ribbons and 21 placements. CHIHUAHUA: Sassy and spoiled, the Chihuahua entered the Toy group in 1904. They placed four times with one Best of Group win, but still no top dog. SHETLAND SHEEPDOG: Shelties have belonged to the Herding group since 1911. They have also done well, earning five Best of Group wins and 12 other placements, but have never put paw in the Best of Show circle. With nearly 3,000 dog breeds from seven groups chasing this dream, who wins Best in Show most often at Westminster? Terriers. This group has earned 46 titles – 13 for Wire Fox Terriers and 8 for Scottish Terriers. The Sporting group is next with 19 wins – six for English Springer Spaniels alone. Working dogs have 15 crowns – four each for Doberman Pinschers and Boxers. The Toy group has 11 titles, the NonSporting group 10, and the Hound group five. Herding dogs have won only once – a German Shepherd in 1987. So what is it about Terriers that has judges swooning while slighting other breeds? Frankly, I have no idea. I’m a dog, not a judge. If it were up to me, I’d give treats to dogs who wag their tail more than their tongues and ribbons to every owner who thinks their dog is the best – because they’re all right. Davi mail@folioweekly.com ____________________________________ Man’s best friend takes center stage at the National Dog Show at noon on Thanksgiving Day. Prepare the turkey and tune in! Davi the dachshund hasn’t won Best in Show but he’s always best in throw.
PET TIP: SIAMESE FIGHTING FADS SOME YEARS AGO, THE NATION WAS SWEPT UP IN THE BETTA CRAZE. Since then, the brightly colored Siamese Fighting Fish, aka bettas, have been relegated to the back aisle of pet stores. But that doesn’t mean the humble betta doesn’t want to be loved — you betta believe they do! (Har dee har har.) The FW art department even has its very own finned friend – best believe Pica is the coolest fish in the school. For realz, bettas make ideal companions: They’re quiet, tranquil and easy to care for. All they need is clean water, tropical temperatures and a little bit of food. But not one of those betta-in-a-vase “tanks.” Just no. 34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 23-29, 2016
PET EVENTS WICKMINSTER DOG SHOW • This local version of the celebrated National Dog Show is held from 2-4 p.m. Nov. 23 at Wicked Barley Brewing Company,4100 Baymeadows Rd., Southside, 3797077, wickedbarley.com. DAWGZ FOR DOGS • The monthly benefit is held 6-8 p.m. Nov. 30, featuring M.I.A. Beer Co. products, at Brewz N Dawgz, 1974 U.S. 1 S., St. Augustine, 686-1956, brewzndawgz.com. Proceeds help dogs get adopted.
ADOPTABLES
RILEY
WELL-MANNERED GENTLEMAN • Good day! I might be 10 years old, but I sure don’t feel like it! I’m an old soul who’s young at heart. I like to relax on beds and go for walks. I’m very good with commands like, sit, down and shake. I’m a great cook and I’d love to show you how good my turkey is on Thanksgiving! See for yourself at Jacksonville Humane Society; they’re open 7 days a week! PAW-JECT RUNWAY • Adoptable dogs strut their stuff; there’s food, auctions and more, 1-4 p.m. Dec. 4 at Bo’s Club, 201 Fifth Ave. S., Jax Beach; ticket prices vary; 246-9874, pawjectrunway.eventbrite.com. KATZ 4 KEEPS ADOPTION DAYS • Planned adoption days are held 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Dec. 3, 4, 17 and 18, at Katz 4 Keeps, 935B A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach, 8343223, katz4keeps.org. VACCINATION CLINICS • VetCo offers lower-cost pet vaccinations at area PetCo stores. Nov. 27: 10:30 a.m.-noon, 463713 S.R. 200, Yulee, 225-0014; 2-3 p.m. 11900 Atlantic Blvd., Southside, 997-8441; vetcoclinics.com.
ADOP AD ADOPTABLES O TA OP TABL BLES BL ES S
GERMANY
HOLIDAY FANATIC • Hi! I’m Germany and I love all holidays, big and small! I’m the first one to have all of my decorations up and my meals planned! It’s easy to do that – I always have a tuna casserole ready to go! Won’t you take me home for the holidays, so I can have some yummy treats? I’m waiting at Jacksonville Humane Society, located at 8464 Beach Blvd.! MEGA PET ADOPTION • First Coast No More Homeless Pets offers more than 1,000 pets for adoption, 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Dec. 16, 17 and 18 at Jacksonville Fairgrounds, 510 Fairground Place, Downtown. The $20 fee includes spay/neuter, microchip, vaccines and city license, fcnmhp.org. _______________________________________ To list a pet event, send the event name, time, date, location (complete street address and city), admission price, contact number/website to print, to mdryden@folioweekly.com – at least two weeks before the event. NOVEMBER 23-29, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35
FREEWILL ASTROLOGY
DALE RATERMANN’s Crossword presented by
BRIAN ENO, WINTER SOLSTICE, VIRGINIA WOOLF & GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
Serving Excellence Since 1928 Member American Gem Society
San Marco
Ponte Vedra
The Shoppes of Ponte Vedra
Avondale
2044 San Marco Blvd.
3617 St. Johns Ave.
398-9741
330 A1A North
280-1202
388-5406
ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Creative people are at greater risk,” said psychiatrist R.D. Laing, “just as one who climbs a mountain is more at risk than one who walks along a village lane.” I mention this because in the coming weeks, you’ll have the potential to be abundantly creative, as well as extra imaginative, ingenious and innovative. If you want to fulfill this potential, you must be willing to work with the extra tests and challenges life throws your way. Like, you could be asked to drop a pose, renounce lame excuses or reclaim powers you gave away once upon a time.
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Cousin of FYI “That feels great!” Sun spot Benson’s partner choosemyplate.gov org. 6 Must, so to speak 7 “Well, -di-dah!” 8 Rage 9 Took a whirl 10 Yellow-card 11 Type or sort 12 Farah & Farah charge 13 Go for it 18 Amelia Island B&Bs 19 Edible root 22 Giants div. 23 Mayo Clinic VIPs
36 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 23-29, 2016
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You are free! Or almost free! Let me put it this way: You could become significantly freer if you choose, if you exert your willpower to snatch available liberating experiences. For example, you could be free from a slippery obligation that’s driven you to say things you don’t mean. You could be free from the temptation to distort your soul in service to your ego. You may even be free to go after what you really want rather than indulging in lazy lust for a gaggle of mediocre thrills. Be brave. Define your top three emancipating possibilities, and pursue them.
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TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Taurus musician Brian Eno has been successful as a composer, producer, singer and visual artist. Among his many collaborators have been David Byrne, David Bowie, U2, Coldplay, Laurie Anderson, Grace Jones and James Blake. Eno’s biographer David Sheppard said capturing his essence in a book was “like packing a skyscraper into a suitcase.” That description may fit you in the next four weeks. You’re gearing up for high-intensity living. Don’t be nervous. Though you may be led into intimate contact with unfamiliar themes and mysterious passions, the story you actualize should feel natural.
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Solution to 11.16.16 Puzzle A N O R I N D I R E D D G S H O E R O N O P E N E S I T P A S E A Y E L L H E L I I N S T O O O W N
A G E R
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T T I E L T E L A R I N Q U A U S R I K D E W V E D S O I R N G E E N T
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CANCER (June 21-July 22): Have you been feeling twinges of perplexity? Are you immersed in meandering meditations that make you doubt your commitments? Are you entertaining weird fantasies that give odd little shivers and quivers? As an analyzer of cycles, I say now is a great time to question everything. You could have a lot of fun playing with riddles and wrestling with enigmas. Not advising you to abandon what you’ve been working on and run away. It’s time for fertile inquiry, not rash actions. It’s healthy to contemplate adjustments, but not to initiate massive overhauls. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “Everybody is dealing with how much of their own aliveness they can bear and how much they need to anesthetize themselves,” writes psychoanalytic writer Adam Phillips. Where do you fit on this scale? Whatever your usual place, in the coming weeks you approach record-breaking levels in your ability to handle your aliveness. You may even summon and celebrate massive amounts of aliveness previously suppressed. Your need to numb yourself will be closer to zero than it’s been since you were five years old. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Do you periodically turn the volume down on your mind’s endless chatter and tune into the still, small voice within? Have you developed reliable techniques for escaping the daily frenzy to make yourself available for the Wild Silence that restores and revitalizes? If so, now is a good time to make aggressive use of those capacities. If you haven’t attended to these rituals of self-care, fix that. Claim more power to commune with your depths. In the coming weeks, most of your best information will flow from sweet darkness.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): One of your vices could temporarily act as a virtue. In an odd twist, one of your virtues may also briefly function like a vice. There’s more to this mysterious turn of events. A so-called liability could be useful in efforts to solve a dilemma, while a reliable asset might cloud your discernment or cause a miscalculation. I’m hoping to stimulate your imagination as you work through the paradoxical days ahead. Consider an intriguing possibility: An influence you like and value may hold you back, even as something or someone you’ve repelled could be helpful. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Between now and the solstice on Dec. 21, you’ll have extraordinary power to transform into a more practical, well-grounded version of you. It may surprise you how naturally you shed beliefs and habits that no longer serve. try saying these affirmations and see how they feel: “I am an earthy realist. I am a fact-lover and an illusion-buster. I love actions that actually work more than I like theories that I wish would work. I’d rather create constructive change than be renowned for my clever dreams.” SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Despite your sign’s reputation, Sagittarians don’t always require vast expanses to roam. You aren’t ceaselessly restless, on an inexhaustible quest for unexpected experiences and fresh teachings. you’re not forever consumed with the primal roar of raw life, obsessed with the naked truth, and fiercely devoted to exploration for its own sake. You may be flirting with these extreme states in the coming weeks. Your keynote, from Virginia Woolf’s diary: “I need space. I need air. I need the empty fields round me; and my legs pounding along roads; and sleep; and animal existence.” CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “If you can’t get rid of the skeleton in your closet,” said George Bernard Shaw, “you had best teach it to dance.” This advice is worthy of your consideration. You may still be unable to expunge a certain karmic debt, and it may be harder than ever to hide, so dream up a way to play with it — maybe even have some dark fun with it. Your willingness to loosen up might alleviate the angst your skeleton causes, and may ultimately transform it in some unpredictably helpful way. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “No pain, no gain” is a modern take on an old idea. In a second-century Jewish book of ethics, Rabbi Ben Hei Hei wrote, “According to the pain is the gain.” Eighteenth-century English poet Robert Herrick said, “If little labor, little are our gains: Man’s fate is according to his pains.” I don’t think this applies to you in the coming weeks. Your greatest gains will emerge from the absence of pain. You’ll learn and improve through release, relaxation, generosity and expansiveness. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The less egotistical you are, the more likely it is that you’ll attract what you really need. If you do nice things for people without expecting favors in return, your mental and physical health will improve. As you increase your mastery of the art of empathy, your creativity also thrives. All that will be intensely, emphatically true in the next four weeks. Make it a top priority to explore this cosmic riddle: Practicing unselfishness will serve your selfish goals. Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com
NEWS OF THE WEIRD DEMOCRACY IN ACTION
While “democracy” in most of America means electing representatives to run government, on Nov. 8 in San Francisco it also expected voters to decide 43 often vague, densely worded “issues” that, according to critics, could better be handled by the professionals who are elected by those very same voters. Except for hot-button issues like tax increases or hardened legislative gridlock, solutions on these “propositions” (e.g., how certain contractors’ fees should be structured, which obscure official has primary responsibility for which obscure job) would be, in other states, left to elected officials, lessening voter need for a deep dive into civics.
INEXPLICABLE
The police chief of Bath Township, Ohio, acknowledged the overnight break-in on Oct. 10 or 11 at University Hospitals Ghent Family Practice, but said nothing was missing. It appeared an intruder(s) had performed some medical procedure in a clinical office (probably on an ear) because instruments were left in bowls and a surgical glove and medication wrappings tossed into a trash can (and a gown left on a table). A 35-year-old man was detained by police in Vancouver, British Columbia, in October after a home break-in in which the intruder took off his clothes, grabbed some eggs and began preparing a meal. The homeowner, elsewhere in the house, noticed the commotion and the intruder fled (still naked).
HOW TO TELL IF YOU’VE HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK
Ashley Basich, 49, was arrested in Cheyenne, Wyoming, in October and charged with DUI after police found her, late at night, using an industrial forklift to pick up and move a van she explained was blocking her driveway. Problems: She works for the state forestry department and had commandeered a stateowned vehicle, she had a cooler of beer in the forklift and was operating it while wearing flip-flops (OSHA violation!), and the van “blocking” her driveway was her own.
LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINALS
Jacob Roemer, 20, was arrested in Negaunee Township, Michigan, after a brief chase on
Oct. 29 following an attempted home invasion. The resident had confronted him, chasing Roemer into the woods, where a State Police dog eventually found him lying on the ground unconscious and bloody, after, in the darkness, running into a tree and knocking himself out.
Folio Weekly Magazine can help you connect with that surfer hunk you almost talked to at the Young Vegan Professionals meet-up, or that gum-crackin’ goddess at Target who “accidentally” dropped a jasmine-scented kazoo in your cart. Go to folioweekly. com/i-saw-u.html, fill out the FREE form correctly (40 words or fewer, dammit) by 5 p.m. Friday (for the next Wednesday’s FWM) – next stop: Bliss!
ABRACADABRA
Aldeburgh Golf Club in England saw fit in September to issue a special rule allowing a no-stroke ball “drop” for players plagued by neighbor Peter Bryson’s cat Merlin’s habit of snatching about six balls a day from the 14th fairway.
COMPELLING EXPLANATIONS
Two men in rural Coffee County, Georgia, told sheriff ’s deputies in November that they’d planned to soon attack a scienceresearch center in Alaska because peoples’ “souls” were trapped there and needed to be released (or at least that’s what God told Michael Mancil, 30, and James Dryden Jr., 22, causing them to amass a small, but “something out of a movie” arsenal, according to the sheriff ). The High Frequency Active Aural Research Facility, run by the University of Alaska Fairbanks, has long been a target of conspiracists, in that “the study of the Earth’s atmosphere” obviously, they say, facilitates “mind control,” snatching souls.
RECENT HOSPITAL BILLS
Paula D’Amore claimed she deserved a discount from the $7,400 “delivery room” charge for the April birth of her daughter at Boca Raton Regional Hospital because the baby was actually born in the backseat of her car in the hospital’s parking lot. Nurses came out to assist D’Amore’s husband in the final stages, but, said D’Amore, only the placenta was delivered inside. In October, new father Ryan Grassley balked at the $39.95 line-item charge from Utah Valley Hospital for the mother’s holding her new C-section son momentarily to her bare chest, a “bonding” ritual. Doctors countered that C-section mothers are usually drugged and require extra security during that ritual, but that Utah Valley might rethink making that charge a “line item.” Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net
No left or right swipe here – you can actually use REAL WORDS to find REAL LOVE!
To start: Write a ive-word headline so they’ll recognize you, or them, or the place. Next: Describe the person, like, “You: Blonde, hot, skanky, tall.” Then: Describe yourself, like, “Me: Redhead, boring, clean, virgin.” Next: Describe the encounter, like, “ISU with your posse at Dos Gatos.” No names, email addresses, websites, etc. And for chrissake keep it at forty (40) words or fewer. Don’t they teach basic counting in kindergarten? Did all y’all miss that lesson because you were out trolling for strange? MY HOT, SEXY NEIGHBOR You: Tall, white sports jersey (No. 12, I think), flag tattoo. Me: Brunette, sunglasses, busty. While checking mail ISU on balcony playing darts, smoking cigar. Welcome to the neighborhood. Throw your dart at me anytime. When: Oct. 25. Where: Coquina Bay Apartments. #1632-1026 A YEAR AGO, OCEANWAY PUBLIX Wednesday afternoon before Thanksgiving. Talked in checkout line. Me: Kinda muscular, blue Never Quit shirt. Please forgive my walking away. You: So smokin’ hot I couldn’t believe it; black vehicle. Let me be your somebody! When: Nov. 25, ’15. Where: Oceanway Publix. #1631-1026 CUTE BARTRAM PARK RUNNER We’ve seen each other. You: Dark hair, blue-eyed hottie, running. Me: Dark blonde, ponytail, walking. Today you said, “Sorry about that.” I smiled, not sure of meaning – sorry about crude car guys. Points – you’re a gentleman. Single? When: Oct. 17. Where: Bartram Park. #1630-1026 SALMON POLO, RIVERSIDE PUBLIX Going to check-out – bam! ISU. Handsome man. Facial hair. Fit. Smiled, made eye contact. Thought, “I’ll never see him again.” I pull from lot; you walk in front; noticed your right arm tattoo. No bags? When: Oct. 3. Where: Riverside Publix. #1629-1012 BRUNETTE BEAUTY WALKING TO BEACH Tall brunette walking her most white with mixed colored medium-sized dog. Snake-design comfortable pants, gorgeous body. Me: Waking up, starting day. You were first thing I saw from inside my house. Let’s walk together! When: Sept. 30. Where: Davis St., Neptune Beach. #1628-1005 MY BUD LIGHT/MARLBORO MAN You: Handsome man working the grill, drinking Bud Light and cooking some good-looking meat on Saturday. Me: Drinking Captain and Coke and fighting the desire to take advantage of you. Hoping you “grill” again soon! When: Aug. 27. Where: Downtown. #1627-0928 NEED HELP MOVING? First time ISU, you were moving from your apartment; we caught eyes. Met again, exchanged names. I wanted your number but it’s been so long since someone made me speechless. Come by sometime? You: Pretty. Me: Intrigued. When: Sept. 14. Where: Off JTB. #1626-0921 FIRST WATCH EARTHQUAKE You: Stunningly beautiful lady, long brown hair, shorts, athletic top, waiting for second party Sunday morning. Me: Tall, dark, handsome guy, kinda cop-looking. Tried to buy your breakfast; you hadn’t ordered. Really wanted to say hello. When: Aug. 28. Where: First Watch Beach Boulevard. #1625-0907 TRADE PORSCHE FOR BEACH CRUISER? Drawn to your physique, adored biceps as you chilled with friend! You complimented my Porsche. Offered trade for your cruiser. Didn’t ask for number. WOD together on next bring-a-friend day?! When: 4 p.m. June 5. Where: Zeta Brewing bicycle stand. #1616-0622
DANCING TO THE BONES You are L. from Ponte Vedra. I’m R, leading band at Conch House on Friday, Aug. 12. We said quick hello as you left. Really want to connect with you. Hopefully cosmos will agree. When: Aug. 12. Where: Conch House, St. Augustine. #1624-0817 FLOWERS IN MY HAND Very surprised to see you. Positive memories flooded back, so let’s have lunch and catch up. S. When: July 6. Where: Publix Pharmacy. #1623-0810 DO YOU SEEK UNIQUE? You: Beautiful brunette, Walmart sugar aisle, beautiful arm ink work; said you got it in Riverside. Me: Dark chocolate gentleman, captivated by smile, breathless looking into beautiful eyes. Too shy to get number. Meet for lunch? When: July 16. Where: Walmart Avenues. #1622-0720 HANDSOME, KIND GENTLEMAN ISU Saturday 1 a.m. You: Extremely handsome, cool hat, T-shirt, jeans; forgot wallet; complimented my white dress. Me: Long blond hair, green eyes, too shy to ask name or if unattached. Love to meet formally! When: July 17. Where: Walmart San Jose. #1621-0720 WE ARE READY FOR U You: Handsome man following, watching me, saying hi, calling, hanging up before u speak. Me: Want to hear your heart. My dog and condo await. Don’t be afraid. Everything will be OK. We love you. When: 2012. Where: Neighborhood. #1620-0720 AVONDALE ANGEL Me: Down on my luck, no place to go. You: Beautiful person who kept me from sleeping on the street. Thank you for your generosity for someone you didn’t even know! You’ll never ever be forgotten! When: June 16. Where: Avondale shops. #1619-0706 COOPER’S HAWK NICE SMILE WAITER You weren’t our waiter last Thursday 6/16; served us before. Name starts with G. Cute, dark blond hair, warm personality. Me: Brunette, curly hair, navy blue dress. You noticed us in booth. A drink, conversation? Contact. When: June 16. Where: Cooper’s Hawk Winery Town Center. #1618-0622 CORGI GIRL Your smile’s radiant. How you synchronize those long legs in immense contrast with your pups is marvelous. I’m grateful, mostly handsome, longing to please. Love to join you and poochie for evening stroll along the river. XOXO. When: June 10. Where: Riverside. #1617-0622 COMEDY ZONE Goldberg lookalike, Comedy Zone May 27, admiring each other while waiting with friends. Me: Hot brunette in black tank top and jeans. When: May 27. Where: Comedy Zone. #1608-0525 VYSTAR LOAN OFFICER You: Beautiful blue-eyed, curly blond hair, rockin’ all black outfit, accent colored shirt. Me: Trying to get a loan. Made conversation to keep process going. Second Wednesday in June. Didn’t get loan; might’ve found so much more! When: June 8. Where: Vystar. #1615-0622 NOVEMBER 23-29, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37
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38 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 23-29, 2016
FOLIO VOICES : BACKPAGE EDITORIAL
THEY SAY THE DEFINITION OF INSANITY IS doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. For the last five years, I have indeed been insane. I keep subjecting myself to the Jacksonville Jaguars, hoping they will win, only to be disappointed when the fourth quarter mercifully comes to an end. As a season ticketholder for the last five years, I’ve watched this team make questionable draft picks (Joeckel, Blackmon, Fowler, Gabbert). I’ve watched an owner retain the services of, statistically, the worst head coach in the history of the NFL during the Super Bowl Era. I’ve watched the stadium transform itself into some sort of Roman carnival, using anything and everything to distract the masses from the misery. Pools, t-shirt guns, giant scoreboards, cabanas, and a remodeled club have translated into zero improvement on the field and exactly zero wins at the “Bank” this year. I would trade them all for just a few more wins. And this year has been the most frustrating because this was the year we were supposed to win. Hell, we won the draft, right? Instead, we’ve got a club that has been outscored by 81 points in the first half, meaning we are always playing from behind. We’ve got a team which is fourth in the league in penalties committed, 18 of which are on special teams..........EIGHTEEN! Double the league average. That shows a lack of discipline and control. This is the same special teams unit that allowed a punter to convert a fourth and 24 after he muffed the snap. We have not scored an opening drive touchdown since September 2015. Over the course of two games this year, we had a second and one three different times and could not convert. We could not get THREE feet on SIX tries! Only five teams have gone five straight games without forcing a turnover since the NFL-AFL merger in 1966. After the Houston game, the Jaguars are the sixth. The Chicago Bears had not shutout a team in the first half in 18 straight games until the Jaguars came to town. The defense can’t get off the field on third down. Those same Chicago Bears were 29th in the league on third down, but managed to convert seven of nine third downs at one point during the Jaguar game. And, speaking of insanity, the Jags are just as insane as I am. They continue to try to run the ball on first down even though it bears no fruit. Does this series sound familiar? First down, Yeldon up the middle for one yard. Second down, incomplete. Third down, penalty, making it third and 14. Bortles seven yard out to Robinson. The defense continues to rush four, resulting in a tie for 24th in the league with the Browns, the Rams, and the 49ers, whose combined record is 5-23.
The play calling this year has been atrocious. With a chance to win on opening day against the Packers, the play call was to throw it behind the line of scrimmage on fourth down. With a chance to convert a fourth down to keep the drive alive in KC, the play call was to the number four wide receiver on the depth chart, and an undersized white guy at that. Maybe that wasn’t by design, but that’s who Bortles threw it to. Speaking of Bortles, he has committed 55 turnovers in 38 games and is the most sacked quarterback in the league during that time. Rich Gannon, the color man during the Houston game, commented that
stockpiled draft picks after Jackson got ejected against the Raiders. I have been a Gus defender for a long time. I understood that the roster needed a complete makeover, that we had to get faster on defense and that we desperately needed a franchise quarterback on offense. But just like Gus’s time here in Jacksonville, my patience has run out. There is a saying that NFL stands for “Not For Long,” implying that if you don’t win, you’re done. Well, it’s been too long for Gus in Jacksonville, and it is time for change. Unfortunately, for Gus Bradley NFL stands for “Nice Finishes Last.” What is equally troublesome is that Shahid Khan’s patience has not run out. The team is quickly becoming the laughingstock of the league. I mean, the quarterback can’t even intentionally ground the ball without throwing an interception. The team can’t even get a replay call reversed with clear video evidence to the contrary. Blake Bortles has obviously regressed, so what do the Jaguars do? Promote the quarterbacks coach to offensive coordinator. If Khan ran his auto parts business like he runs the Jaguars, we’d be calling him ‘Tommy Boy,’ not NFL owner. I hope he has the gumption and fortitude that Bradley lacks to do the right thing. I feel like I’m watching the NFL version of the movie Major League, in which the owner of the Cleveland Indians purposely puts a team together that is so bad that she appears to have no choice but to move them. London calling??? So, this week, as I stood in the south end zone with my arms folded and a scowl on my face, an all too familiar stance lately, I seriously contemplated not renewing my tickets next year. If this were any other business and I purchased such an abysmal and defective product, I would have been given a refund and an apology. I hope the rest of my Jaguar brethren contemplate renewal because it is really the only way to foment change. Hit ‘em in the wallet, I say. We as fans are expected to show up every Sunday, spend thousands of dollars on tickets and the game day experience and remain loyal and supportive. Well, no more! If I was technologically savvy enough to be on Twitter, my hashtags would be #DontRenew and #UsOrGus. Maybe some millennial fan can look into that for me. Over the last five years of insanity, I have used every adjective and expletive to describe the play of the Jaguars. None have been good and I am down to one: dis-GUS-ted. Scott Zacher mail@folioweekly.com _____________________________________
CRAZY FOR
FOOTBALL
“Over the course of two games this year, we had a second and one THREE DIFFERENT TIMES and could not convert. We could not get THREE feet on SIX tries!” there have been no consequences for Blake’s poor play. He is right. Why hasn’t Bortles been sat down at least once? I’ll tell you why. Gus Bradley does not have the gumption or intestinal fortitude to be a head coach in the NFL. By all accounts Gus Bradley is a nice guy. A players’ coach. An eternally positive force in the locker room. He is someone I would want my children to look up to. What he is not is an A-hole. And that’s what you have to be to succeed in professional sports, especially in the NFL. Bill Parcells would have cut Nick Marshall the day after his disastrous game against the Jets last year. Bill Cowher would have grabbed Dante Fowler by the facemask, covered him in spittle, and chinned him into oblivion for his senseless penalty on Brock Osweiler last week. Then he would have sent him to the locker room. John Gruden would have “Chuckied” Jalen Ramsey to the bench for running his mouth and taking stupid penalties. And on the bench he would have stayed. Belichick would have traded Malik Jackson and
Zacher is a substitute teacher, bartender and avid, but disgruntled, Jaguars fan.
NOVEMBER 23-29, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 39