12/14/16 2017 Political Predictions

2 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 14-20, 2016

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THIS WEEK //12.14-12.20.16// VOL. 29 ISSUE 37 COVER STORY

2017:

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A POLITICAL PRIMER A preview of HEADLINES that will DOMINATE in the coming year STORY BY A.G. GANCARSKI

FEATURED ARTICLES FEATURED

THAT DAMN DAM

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BY CLAIRE GOFORTH Petition filed to remove RODMAN DAM, the subject of controversy for decades

MOWING DOWN AGRIBUSINESS

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BY J. SCOTT GAILLARD Local woman receives grant designed to BRING FARMING much, much CLOSER TO HOME

CROSSWORDS

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BY JOHNNY MASIULEWICZ A CONTROVERSIAL ENDORSEMENT alters the course of one man’s life

COLUMNS + CALENDARS MAIL OUR PICKS NEWS JAG CITY NEWS MUSIC

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FILM ARTS LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR DINING DIRECTORY BITE-SIZED PINT-SIZED

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CHEFFED-UP PETS CROSSWORD/ASTR0 WEIRD/I SAW U CLASSIFIEDS BACKPAGE

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THE MAIL THE BLAME GAME

RE.: “Murder Was the Case,” by A.G. Gancarski, Nov. 23 I AM ALL FOR THE LEGALIZATION OF marijuana. I can see how this may stop someone from running from the cops in a stop-and-frisk situation. What I don’t understand is how you can correlate that to [the] murder rate. I also see how the Trump comment was a joke, but was in poor taste, and probably immediately stopped people from reading. Much like it would have stopped the left from reading if you had said these people must have had some juice on Clinton.

If you’re serious about solving the problem, then write a real piece of journalism.

Try not to blame it on the sheriff’s office, either. I am a native, but I have lived in other cities, including D.C. JSO [sic] is the only city I have lived where the sheriff’s office has a positive role in the community. Mike Williams is doing a great job.

I think if you were really looking for a solution to the problem, you might want to address why great teachers are leaving the urban classroom, after their frustrations from administration and the state have become higher than their love of these children. Leaving behind these ancient trolls who couldn’t care less about these children. Why not address why we have so many community outreach programs, but there are still students at Susie Tolbert who wash their clothes in the faucets behind gas stations? (True stories) Get off your fucking bitter high horse, and write a journalism piece that has a nutsack, instead of this passive aggressive birdcage liner.

Jennifer Anderson via Facebook

WAR PARTIES OF DEMOCRATS EVERYWHERE

I’D JUST LIKE TO REMIND YOU DEMOCRATS at FW, while you are busy hatemongering The Donald, that it was the Democrats that got us into World War I, and thanks to a poorly brokered peace, that got us into World War II. Democrat Truman’s failure to include Korea in his defense agenda was the direct cause of the

Korean War. And Democrat Truman’s reneging on Roosevelt’s agreements with Ho Chi Min and Democrat Kennedy’s incompetence in world politics got the U.S. embroiled in the Vietnam War. Democratic Clinton, the impeached Clinton that is, had the U.S. bombing Serbia, for what reason? The same Serbians were eventually found not guilty of all crimes, so why did we bomb them in the first place?

And, let’s not forget, when a Republican was first elected president, Democrats hated that enough to attempt to dissolve the Union, thereby initiating the United States Civil War. True, it was Republican Bush who took action against terrorism in the Mideast, but it took incompetent Democrat “Oreo” Obama to totally f**k up the situation and then have to scramble to put more troops into a situation that was at one time managed.

The only war the nation be concerned about is the war that the Democratic Party will carry on against America’s best interests. I predict Democrats and their cronies in the media will continue the hate and divisionary backbiting they’re known for, and so much for their bullshit about “unity,” LOL. Stan Radzewicz via email

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BRICKBATS + BOUQUETS BOUQUETS TO SOUTHSIDE BUSINESS MEN’S CLUB On the morning of Dec. 10, the Southside Business Men’s Club took 30 local children from the City Rescue Mission Christmas shopping at Target. Thanks to the generosity of SBMC, these children and their families will be able to celebrate the holiday in fitting fashion. Every child deserves to feel the magic of the season.

BRICKBATS TO RACIALLY BIASED JUDGES After spending a year investigating sentencing in Florida, the Sarasota Herald-Tribune found that racial bias is alive and well in our criminal justice system. Statewide, blacks spend far more time behind bars than whites convicted of the same crimes. In some Northeast Florida counties, the disparity is particularly pronounced. For example, statewide, blacks convicted of felony drug charges spend 338 days in jail, whites spend 202; in Nassau County, blacks spend 594 days in jail for these crimes, whites 262; in Duval County, blacks spend 469 days in jail for these same crimes, and whites spend 276. We can – and must – do better.

BOUQUETS TO INTERLINE BRANDS Interline Brands, a locally based national wholesale distributor of maintenance, repair and operations products, along with Duval County Public Schools, recently announced a $100,000 donation from the company that will benefi t construction students at A. Philip Randolph Career Academies. The funds, which are coupled with an expanded partnership between the entities, will provide books, equipment and learning experiences, DCPS Superintendent Nikolai Vitti told the T-U. DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? HOW ABOUT A BRICKBAT? Send submissions to mail@folioweekly.com; 50 word maximum, concerning a person, place, or topic of local interest.

DECEMBER 14-20, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5

CLASSIC BALLET FIRST COAST NUTCRACKER Since its debut in 1892, The Nutcracker ballet has become a holiday season

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staple that is as ubiquitous as candy canes, gingerbread houses and Folio Weekly staffers spiking their egg nog with Ibogaine in the hopes of making Santa Claus their “spirit guide.” While there are many worthy productions of this classic ballet, The First Coast Nutcracker is an annual fave for more than 40 years, featuring the Jacksonville Symphony along with the area’s finest young dancers. 8 p.m. Friday, Dec. 16; 2 and 8 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 17, and 2 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 18, Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, Downtown, $18-$50, jaxsymphony.com.

OUR PICKS

TAKE A BREATHER THE PAUSES

ROCK THE HALLS

TRAN-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA Since 1996, the progressive rock juggernaut Trans-Siberian Orchestra has been wowing crowds with their rockin’ onslaught of shredding metal guitar, electric violins, soaring vocals and over-the-top, synchronized multimedia production. Heavy on the orchestral tip, TSO are known for their holiday-themed productions. Their current tour, “The Ghosts of Christmas Eve,” is a veritable “best of” featuring fan faves from the group’s 20-year career. 7:30 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 15, Veterans Memorial Arena, Downtown, $29.25-$63.25, ticketmaster.com.

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TAKE US TO THE BRIDGE RIVERSIDE

REASONS TO LEAVE THE HOUSE THIS WEEK

The Pauses describe their music as “Indierocktronica,” an apt appellation for the cool blend of electronic gurgle, cutting electric and acoustic guitars, and butt-shaking beats, topped off by soaring vocals. The Orlando three-piece just dropped a fulllength release, along with a split EP with the Great Deceivers, as well as a tasty, Portisheadstyle take on the Charlie Brown classic, “Christmas Time is Here.” 8 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 15, with Deadaires and Flower City Conspiracy, Jack Rabbits, San Marco, $8 advance; $10 day of, jaxlive.com.

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ARTS MARKET

The weekly arts, music and food hoedown known as the Riverside Arts Market shuts down shop this weekend (until spring), with a stellar send-off featuring music by Folk Is People (pictured), Jackie Stranger and the Rip Currents, along with vendors selling arts and crafts and food and produce galore.

10 a.m.-4 p.m. (music starts at 10:30 a.m.)

Saturday, Dec. 17, under the Fuller Warren Bridge, riversideartsmarket.com.

6 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 14-20, 2016

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SANTA CLAUS COSPLAY

GAAM SECRET TOY PARTY Games Art And Music (GAAM) present another cool event with its Secret Toyland Party, featuring a fun night of video games, photo spots, food trucks, dancing, Cosplay and adult beverages. Bring a toy to donate to Toys for Tots and get a discount on your ticket. Adding to the secret party vibe, the location is revealed after you buy the ticket. Be warned: Tickets sell out fast! 7 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 17; ages 18 and older, $13-$30; eventbrite.com.

DECEMBER 14-20, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7

FOLIO COMMUNITY : NEWS

THAT DAMN

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JANE WEST LAW, AN ENVIRONMENTAL, REAL estate and land-use litigation law firm in St. Augustine, has filed a petition that seeks to restore the flow of the Ocklawaha River by breaching the Kirkpatrick Dam, more commonly known as the Rodman Dam. The Rodman Dam was built on the Ocklawaha River, historically the largest tributary of the St. Johns River, as part of the Cross-Florida Barge Canal project, which was abruptly halted in 1971 prior to completion.

The National Audubon Society refers to the canal as “the biggest unfinished public works project in history.”

For years, environmental groups like the Audubon Society, Florida Defenders of the Environment, the Florida Wildlife Fund and the St. Johns Riverkeeper have fought to restore the Ocklawaha by breaching the dam, which they believe will improve the health of the river, other waterways it feeds into and surrounding land. Their efforts have been passionately resisted by advocates for the dam and the reservoir it creates.

That reservoir, sometimes called Rodman Pool, is the site of a popular annual bass fishing tournament that attracts visitors from all over the world to the otherwise sleepy communities surrounding it in rural Putnam and Marion counties.

The Petition for Rulemaking that West’s firm filed with the U.S. Department of Agriculture and the Chief of the U.S. Forest Service specifically requests enforcement of the terms of the Rodman Dam’s Special Use Permit that expired in 1998 and “alleges that the agencies have failed to manage their lands, specifically the Ocala National Forest, in a manner that furthers the conditions, goals and objectives listed in the Florida Plan for National Forests in Florida by allowing the continued, unpermitted use of the Rodman Dam.” Attorney Joseph Little, vice president of the Florida Defenders of the Environment, is one of the named petitioners. He told Folio Weekly that after waiting many years for restoration, they decided it was time to try to force the Forest Service to act.

“We’re asking the Forest Service to lead … to have the dam removed.” He says that the Forest Service has the power and authority to remove the dam and he believes it wants to do so.

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According to a Dec. 5 press release from Jane West Law, the permit that authorizes the dam was issued in 1994 and subsequently extended twice to give the state of Florida time to apply for a new occupancy permit “that would properly describe their management intentions and provide environmental analysis to support the permit.” As stated in the release, in 2010, the Forest Service directed the Florida Department of Environmental Protection to renew the permit to “allow for coordinated maintenance of the federal lands … being occupied by the state.” Per the release, the FDEP did not heed that order and today there is no permit in place that authorizes continued occupation of the federal lands on which the Rodman Dam is located.

One of the groups that advocates for keeping the dam, Save Rodman Reservoir, has been particularly vocal. That group’s website, which refers to the reservoir as a “fisherman’s paradise,” states that it is “dedicated to preventing the destruction of Rodman Reservoir by educating the public in just how great an aquatic wildlife area Rodman is.”

Referring to the petition, Steve Miller, president of Save Rodman, tells FW, “The whole thing is kind of disheartening.” He says that while he and other advocates for the dam generally agree that it never should have been built, those who want to remove the dam cherry-pick facts to make the case for restoration and discard others that contradict their position, particularly regarding water quality in the reservoir, which he says has seen 35 percent reductions of pollutants such as nitrogen and phosphorous over a 15-year period, and the effect a free-flowing Ocklawaha would have on the St. Johns River.

Miller says that aquatic vegetation in the reservoir consumes pollutants. “The nutrient load reduction in Rodman is proven.”

Upon request, Miller sent FW a copy of a St. Johns River Water Management District report. That 2016 report, “Effects on Lower St. Johns River Nutrient Supply and TMDL Target Compliance from the Restoration of a Free-Flowing Ocklawaha River,” states that the original assessment conducted in 1994 found that restoring the river would “significantly increase nutrients, in particular, nitrate-nitrogen, delivered to the lower St. Johns River Estuary.”

photo by Kelly Thomas

Petition filed to REMOVE RODMAN DAM, the subject of controversy for decades

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While the report does state that in 1994, it determined that restoring the Ocklawaha would lead to increased nutrient load downstream; however, it was determined that restoration would have a positive environmental impact.

“Despite the predicted increase in downstream nutrient load, the positive aspects related to the restoration of floodplain functions, increased unique habitat and migratory fish passage appeared to provide overall net environmental gain,” the report states.

Nevertheless, the SJRWMD subsequently refused to recommend approving restoration of the Ocklawaha on the basis of concerns about increased nutrient load to the lower St. Johns.

The 2016 report says that new information about nitrogen’s role in worsening eutrophication (water pollution) in the lower St. Johns that was not known at the time of the 1994 report have led it to now conclude that “nitrogen alone (i.e. without the addition of phosphorous) does not encourage algal bloom growth in the freshwater reach of the St. Johns River and thus does not constitute an adverse

“All work suggests the environment will be IMPROVED DRAMATICALLY … by restoring the Ocklawaha River to its natural state.”

— ATTORNEY JOSEPH LITTLE, VICE PRESIDENT OF THE FLORIDA DEFENDERS OF THE ENVIRONMENT

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On its website, the St. Johns Riverkeeper, which has long advocated for restoring the Ocklawaha, points to studies that have shown that wetlands below and above the Ocklawaha, including 8,000 acres in the lower Ocklawaha River and 7,500 acres of forested wetlands that are submerged in the Rodman Pool, have been severely negatively impacted by the dam, as have species, such as eel and other migratory fish, that historically migrated up the river. Further, the Riverkeeper’s website points to studies that state that other waterways, such as the St. Johns River and Silver Springs — which has suffered greatly from nutrient pollution in recent years — would benefit from restoring the Ocklawaha River.

A broad cross-section of public agencies have also publicly supported breaching the dam, including the Environmental Protection Agency, U.S. Department of Agriculture, the National Marine Fisheries Service and FDEP. Environmentalists believe that those who advocate for keeping the dam — on the reasoning that the fishing and local wildlife

environmental impact from restoration.”

Additionally, the report states, “this analysis suggests that on average just eight additional tons of phosphorous would be added annually from restoration efforts.” It acknowledges that “phosphorous reduction elsewhere would presumably be necessary to mitigate the effects of that increase,” but states that current technology used in nearby waterbodies should be capable of sufficiently offsetting “a load of this magnitude.”

Miller also says that the land the reservoir is on may not even be under the Forest Service’s purview — that it may actually be the FDEP’s property.

“We’ve been working for several years to turn it into a state park,” he says.

Little and other advocates for removal hotly dispute the environmental impact of the dam.

“All work suggests the environment will be improved dramatically … by restoring the Ocklawaha River to its natural state,” Little says.

are positively impacted by the reservoir — are wrong. Little says that the fishing in the river will actually be improved by restoring the Ocklawaha; others have pointed out that in recent years, the largest fish have been caught below the dam in the river. Miller counters that it’s impossible to know exactly where the fish came from.

Both sides are gearing up for what will likely be another bitter battle in an ongoing war over the Ocklawaha River and the Rodman Dam. According to the release, Jane West says, “What has developed over the decades with Rodman is a culture of inaction. Enough is enough. The permit expired. The terms are clear — when the permit expires, the State was required to remove the structures and improvements authorized by the permit to allow for partial restoration of the Ocklawaha River.”

Claire Goforth claire@folioweekly.com DECEMBER 14-20, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9

JAG CITY Can ownership grow fan base after a FAILED REBUILD?

LOSSES CONTINUE TO

DEFINE SEASON

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Fleet farming in Orlando (at left); local activist Melissa Beaudry (inset).

Local woman receives grant designed to bring farming MUCH, MUCH closer to home

photo courtesy Fleet Farming

HOME-FIELD ADVANTAGE IS NONEXISTENT AT EverBank Field for the Jacksonville Jaguars. With Sunday’s loss to the Minnesota Vikings, the team hasn’t won a home game in a full year.

Perhaps even worse, the stadium was filled with opposing fans. More than a half-dozen sections in the north end zone were occupied by purple-clad Vikings fans. This is the second week in a row visiting fans attended as heavily as Jaguars fans.

And once again, those opposing fans left with smiles on their faces. For the Jaguars, it’s the eighth loss in a row.

The losing streak ties the franchise record for a single season, set by head coach Gus Bradley’s regime in 2013.

Between game tickets, parking and concessions for a team they haven’t celebrated victory with since December 2015, season ticket-holders spend hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars each year. For a team that now draws near-equal numbers of opposing fans to its home stadium.

Most of the reasons for hordes of visiting fans are out of the Jaguars’ hands. Jacksonville is a cheap destination for Northerners looking to escape the cold for a week, the team is still one of the newest in the league and many Jacksonvillians are transplants from other areas, perhaps with other loyalties.

However, a poor product on the field has potentially hindered the team from establishing a major fan base, especially outside the Jacksonville area, despite recent boosts in season ticket sales.

The franchise, in its 21st season, has scraped together only seven winning seasons and six playoff appearances. And the biggest rebuild in the franchise’s history has resulted in a 14-47 record over four years and zero postseason appearances.

Maybe this is why team ownership has focused heavily on building a unique, captivating fan experience throughout the stadium … because it’s sure not happening on the field.

Arguably, the biggest takeaway from Sunday was the induction of former wide-receiver Jimmy Smith into the Pride — the team’s hall of fame.

Highlight reels shown during the game of Smith and other former teammates from the late 1990s reminded fans of the Jaguars that used to be.

During the team’s first five seasons, it achieved four winning years and four playoff berths. The 1999 Jaguars was the last squad to bring home a divisional championship.

Since then, fans have had little to smile about. Instead, they have become one of the league’s laughingstocks. When attendance numbers were low years ago, there were jokes about it. Other fans spent years mocking the idea that the team might move to London, despite the unlikeliness of that. Now opponents jeer at the Jaguars’ sloppy play.

Yet season ticket numbers continue climbing as the fan base slowly expands locally.

One has to wonder if the team has reached its fan cap for the time being. After nearly a decade since the last winning record or playoff appearance, how can ownership continue to keep fans engaged and spending money?

This year, we were sold on the completion of the rebuild, on this being the year to steal a first-place spot in a weak division.

Here we sit, at 2-11, eliminated from the postseason once again, another rebuild looming.

Mark Judson mail@folioweekly.com ____________________________________ Connect with Judson at the Folio Weekly Jag City Facebook page.

FOLIO COMMUNITY : NEWS

MOWING DOWN

AGRIBUSINESS THE U.S. PRODUCES ENOUGH FOOD TO FEED every American — and wastes 30 to 40 percent of what it produces, according to the United Nations Environmental Programme.

The process of growing, tending to and harvesting food uses a lot of energy, chemicals and other materials that can be harmful to the environment and the consumer. Taking into account deforestation and land-use change, in addition to equipment emissions, transport, packaging, processing, soil management, cow farts, etc., across the planet, agriculture may be responsible for as much as 43 to 57 percent of greenhouse gas emissions, according to the 2013 Trade & Environment Review of the United Nations Conference on Trade & Development. (The Environmental Protection Agency estimates that domestic agriculture is responsible for 14 percent of global GHG emissions.)

Jacksonville resident Melissa Beaudry thinks moving the process closer to home — to our yards — can be part of the answer. Her proposal to convert lawns to micro-farms won a grant from the Public Trust Environmental Legal Institute of Florida. She believes the leadership provided by the program can lead to better health for consumers and less damage to the environment.

The ability to produce a surplus of food launched the upward mobility of mankind.

Once food surplus was achieved, individuals could begin to work outside the farm in jobs like teaching, metal working or running a country store. Over time, people became even more efficient at producing food until present day, when a fraction of the workforce is needed to provided food for the populous.

Though the move to mass-produce food has led to some important advances, like mechanization of planting and harvesting tools and equipment and the hybridization of seeds, it has also involved the use of unhealthy chemicals to preserve and flavor food.

Traditionally, sugar and salt were used to preserve the edibles we grew and consumed.

Today, high fructose corn syrup and sodium additives are the go-to materials to ensure a longer shelf-life for foodstuffs. These materials are among a group of main causes of highblood pressure and high cholesterol. The No. 1 killer today — heart disease — is often the result of exposure to high levels of sodium, sweeteners and cholesterol-producing products.

Moreover, the use of fossil fuels to power harvesting combines, processing machinery and transporting vehicles for food production to the masses has damaged the environment.

IF WE BELIEVE THAT MODERN FARMING AND transportation are degrading our health and debasing the environment, can we come up with a solution to the problem? This question was raised at an “IDEAS For US” workshop Beaudry attended. IDEAS For US is an Orlando-based nonprofit that works to “develop, incubate and fund local solutions that drive long-term social and environmental change for good,” according to its website.

(Another of its programs is 10,000 Trees Jax.) One of the proposals was the expanded use of fleet farming, in which lawns are used for organic gardens, called farmlettes, with the goal of creating outcomes that were healthier for the consumer and the environment. The first fleet farming program began in Orlando.

Fleet farming takes a community of volunteers to make it work. Homeowners volunteer their lawns for producing organically grown produce, which supplies 5 to 10 percent of their food consumption. Volunteers participate in collaborative biweekly events where they weed, plant, till and harvest the produce. The finished products are sold at local markets or restaurants. The volunteers use only bicycles and wagons, to minimize their carbon footprint, and pay half what the general public pays for their produce.

In Orlando, the program has been wildly successful. Currently, 15 farmlettes have engaged more than 600 people and generated enough

revenue to hire two part-time urban farmers.

More than 300 homeowners have applied to have their lawns turned into farmlettes.

Upon learning of fleet farming, Beaudry thought the idea should be shared with Northeast Florida. She applied for a “Torch Spark” grant from the Public Trust Environmental Legal Institute of Florida, a nonprofit that provides for the “zealous protection of the City of Jacksonville’s Preservation Project” and other publicly preserved areas.

On Nov. 4, the Public Trust announced Beaudry’s proposal had been awarded the $5,000 Torch Spark grant. In a press release announcing the grant, Executive Director John November stated the grant would advance the trust’s mission by “ensuring the next generation will continue to be advocates for the environment.”

Beaudry’s proposal is called “Grow Food. Not Lawns.” It emphasizes “building community and protecting the environment by enhancing our local food system.”

BEAUDRY BELIEVES HER PROPOSAL PREVAILED because it involved bringing in more people to address the issue.

She says the program will raise awareness about the importance of protecting our natural ecosystems. “We have been far too removed from the system. With the community getting involved, I hope we encourage people to think about food choices, nutritional value and where it comes from. If we can change consumer preferences, that can drive the change.”

The emphasis is on hyper-locality. As the product will be grown, sold and consumed within about a five-mile radius, the carbon footprint associated with burning fossil fuels for transport and longer storage will be greatly reduced.

The program will begin with four farmlettes that may be located in Riverside, San Marco, Murray Hill and the Beaches.

Beaudry estimates that each farmlette will cost about $500. Sales of the food produced will be plowed back into the program, to create more farmlettes.

“My goal is to help the areas of Jacksonville that want to start a neighborhood-centric fleet farming branch get the tools and guidance necessary to do so,” she said.

In addition, fleet farming will reduce the environmental impact of maintaining lawns.

Yale University has estimated that more than 600 million gallons of gasoline are used every year to mow American lawns. In addition, Columbia University estimates that 30 to 60 percent of fresh water from cities is used to irrigate lawns, which also exacerbates pollution in waterways, due to runoff from fertilizer and other chemicals. Thus, every organic farmlette that replaces a lawn has the potential to reduce water waste and pollution.

Fleet farming does not promise to replace large-scale agricultural production. However, if more people give up green grass in favor of growing vegetables, fleet farming may make a dent in the problems that large-scale farms have created while raising awareness about the harmful impacts of modern agricultural processes — and lawns.

J. Scott Gaillard mail@folioweekly.com

DECEMBER 14-20, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11

2017: A POLITICAL

PRIMER A preview of headlines that will dominate in the coming year

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olitics in Jacksonville is like a car crash on the Interstate. It holds you up. It frustrates you from a distance. But when you get to the accident scene, you can’t quite look away from the wreckage, the first responders, the stretchers. One of the paradoxes of local politics: The inside baseball, which drives the narratives and ineluctably affects policy and the lives of most everyone locally, is not primary to the narrative. Another paradox: Too often, the story reaches the masses almost by osmosis, with after-the-fact Facebook fulminations ending up being reactive, rather than proactive. With that in mind, a primer: the stories to watch in 2017, which include fractious city of Jacksonville collective bargaining with unions, how new legislators will fare in D.C. and Tallahassee, and — lest we forget — the never-ending story of the Human Rights Ordinance.

STORY BY A.G. GANCARSKI 12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 14-20, 2016

PENSION TENSION

A year ago, Jacksonville Mayor Lenny Curry and his team were gearing up to sell “County Referendum 1,” the so-called pension tax referendum that allowed the half-cent infrastructural sales tax to be appropriated to the current $2.85 billion unfunded liability, if and only if new terms were negotiated on at least one of the current pension plans.

Back in January, there was some variance in the plan compared to what ended up passing in August.

The original proposal to the Jacksonville City Council involved a strict adherence to 401K plans replacing defined benefit pensions for new hires.

There was a point in the proposal stage where this theoretically could have been greenlighted by a council vote. However, after going through the threshing floor in Tallahassee, the shift was made to a referendum.

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DECEMBER 14-20, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 13

2017:

A POLITICAL PRIMER <<<< FR << FROM ROM PPREVIOUS REVIVIVIOU RE OUSS OU The August referendum date was chosen, which made the matter decided by the supervoter types motivated by legislative primaries and the state attorney’s race, rather than the folks who see voting as something to be done in November, once every four years.

Throughout the entire period leading up to the referendum, Lenny Curry, Fraternal Order of Police head Steve Zona, and Jacksonville Association of Fire Fighters prez Randy Wyse were so in sync you could almost hear them singing “Bye Bye Bye.” Yet, in the classic tradition of boy bands, the breakup came after the big summer tour.

The defined contribution plan, advanced as one of a group of potential new plan options ahead of the referendum, took center stage for the mayor’s office. No real surprise there to many observers.

However, for the police and fire unions, not to mention the bargaining units for general employees, the reaction boiled down to WTF. Back in 2010, when John Peyton was mayor, all parties took 2 percent pay cuts, and had been waiting for restoration for six long years.

Curry’s proposals to police, fire and other units offered a 2 percent bump in the current fiscal year, compounded with pay raises for the other bargaining units. Those raises did not align with what labor thought it deserved. And, argued the police and fire unions, those raises still didn’t make their workers whole. Nor did they compensate justly for ever-increasing risk on the job. Nor would they put Jacksonville on a par with other major Florida cities.

And, of course, the police and fire unions want their people in the Florida Retirement System. That is a stable option, but those familiar with the pension talks of years gone by note that it’s an expensive one for the city.

That’s not Curry’s objection, though.

The mayor says that FRS divests the city of the option to control costs. Some will find that ironic, given that the biggest impediment to the city moving beyond third-world infrastructure in many parts of town is the unfunded liability and the city’s ever-increasing yearly hit on pension costs, incurred in part because the politicians of the past couldn’t win at the bargaining table.

In other words, the city has failed to control costs until now.

Expect a lot of twists and turns in the various collective bargaining sessions from the time you read this until, perhaps, the end of next year. And expect increased interest from outside parties.

Advocating for 401K-styled plans are groups like the Koch Brothers’ Americans for Prosperity. Advocating for the FRS option are state and national unions, who rightly see Curry’s unprecedented solution for the pension predicament as one that leaves them at the whim of market fluctuations relative to 401K plans.

It’s going to get ugly. And it may not get pretty any time soon.

NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK

For a long time in both Tallahassee and Washington, Jacksonville was “hangin’ tough” and had “the right stuff.”

For one thing, we had two Congressional seats. Ander Crenshaw and Corrine Brown represented the admissible political spectrum 14 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 14-20, 2016

Jacksonville quite well, converging when in Ja ac mattered on local earmarks, support for it ma a dredging the river, and bringing as much d red military money into town as possible. m ilitt Itt was a beautiful symbiosis. And now dead. iit’s t’ss d John Jo o Rutherford will do his level best to fill Crenshaw’s shoes, and likely will be fine.

C ren n House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy H off ered support to Rutherford during the general offere election campaign, and odds are good that the former sheriff (who discovered the virtues of conservative red meat after the primaries, including a stopover at a November Trump rally in Jacksonville) will more or less seamlessly fit into the Florida House delegation.

Tallahassee’s Al Lawson, who beat Corrine Brown in the August primary then knocked over a tomato can in November, is going to be more problematic. Lawson has yet to fully grasp how politics work in Northeast Florida, despite having a lot of help.

Susie Wiles was showing Lawson around over the summer, introducing the Democrat to local media and stakeholders before she took a more prominent role with the Trump campaign. Denise Lee, one of two former Democratic members of the City Council who work in the mayor’s office, has also been helping Lawson on the Jacksonville side.

Does it really matter, though? Lawson could help himself greatly by hiring Jacksonville people for his operation — specifically, Jacksonville people who have a sense of legislative priorities and what they mean for the locals — but there is no real indication he’s going to do that.

Lawson ran his campaign with Tallahassee as his main squeeze and Jacksonville as his side piece. He’d roll in here periodically, trying to say all the right things, and faking it so hard they should have given him Milli Vanilli’s old Grammy plaque.

Over the course of months, he did learn a few things. He finally learned, for example, that the name of “the apartment complex Marco Rubio visited” was Eureka Garden.

And he also learned some of the names of the members of the donor class. But, to quote Ministry, “So What?”

Corrine Brown — leaving the alleged fraud and misappropriation and malfeasance aside — actually understood Jacksonville’s priorities and had the rank to get things done.

John Delaney said as much, and it’s nearly 20 years now since he needed her to deliver.

Al Lawson’s never going to be that good.

At least not for this part of the district. Watch Mia Jones, Audrey Gibson, Tony Hill and Alvin Brown. You may see them filing to run against him in 2017.

TROUBLE IN TALLY?

Moving on to the Duval Delegation in Tallahassee, you’re going to want to curb your enthusiasm there, too.

While we are well-positioned in the State Senate, with locals Aaron Bean and Audrey Gibson on the all-powerful Appropriations Committee, we are facing some real deep doodoo in the lower house. Reps. Cord Byrd, Clay Yarborough, Tracie Davis, Kim Daniels and Jason Fischer are all new to the legislature. Jay Fant has been there for a couple of years, and he’s the veteran presence for dirty Duval.

Spoiler alert: The state house is full of safe seats, due to creative cartography, and so that means almost anyone elected has an eightyear plan.

What does that mean for us? None of these folks would be able to push through appropriations asks under normal

CONTINUED NEXT PAGE >>>

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Moon River Pizza Moon River Pizza treats customers like family.

Cooked in a brick oven, the pizza is custom-made by the slice (or, of course, by the pie). Set up like an Atlanta-style pizza joint, Moon River also offers an eclectic selection of wine and beer. Open for lunch and dinner Mon.-Sat. Dine in or take it with you.

925 S. 14th Street 904-321-3400

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Beach Diner This local diner chain has been serving great food with top-notch service in Jacksonville for 18 years.

The new Amelia Island location is sure to be your new favorite! Our menu includes breakfast, salads, and sandwiches. We are open Monday through Sunday from 6 a.m.-2:30 p.m. Find us on Facebook!

2006 S. Eighth Street 904-310-3750

Cafe Karibo Homemade sandwiches, salads and soups are served in a relaxed atmosphere in this charming building in the historic district. Delicious fresh fish specials and theme nights (Pad Thai and curry), plus vegetarian dishes, are also featured.

Karibrew Brew Pub & Grub – the only one on the island – offers onsite beers and great burgers and sandwiches.

27 N. Third Street 904-277-5269

29 South Eats This chic, neighborhood bistro has it all – great ambience, fantastic food, an extensive wine list and reasonable prices. The eclectic menu offers regional cuisine with a modern whimsical twist and Chef Scotty Schwartz won Best Chef in Folio Weekly’s 2007 Best of Jax readers poll.

Open for lunch Tue.-Sat., 11:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m., for dinner 5:30-9:30 p.m. Mon.-Thu., till 10 p.m. Fri. & Sat. Brunch is 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Sun. 29southrestaurant.com.

29 S. Third Street 904-277-7919

Brett’s Waterway Café Overlooking Fernandina Harbor Marina, Brett’s offers an upscale atmosphere with outstanding food. The extensive luncheon and dinner menus feature daily specials, fresh Florida seafood, chicken and aged beef. Cocktails, beer and wine. Casual resort wear.

Open at 11:30 a.m. daily.

Fernandina Harbor Marina at the foot of Centre Street 904-261-2660

T-Ray’s Burger Station T-Ray’s offers a variety of breakfast and lunch items. In addition to an outstanding breakfast menu, you’ll find some of the best burgers you’ve ever put in your mouth. The Burger Station offers a grilled portabello mushroom burger, grilled or fried chicken salad and much more. The spot where locals grab a bite and go!

Now serving beer & wine. Open Mon.-Fri. 7 a.m.2:30 p.m., Sat. 8 a.m.-1 p.m. Closed Sundays.

202 S. Eighth Street 904-261-6310

Jack & Diane’s The locals’ favorite hangout! Dine inside or on the patio of this cozy, renovated 1887 shotgun home in historic downtown Fernandina Beach.

From the crab & shrimp omelet to the steak & tomato pie, “The tastiest spot on Centre” offers food with attitude and unexpected flair.

Live music elevates your dining experience to a new level. Come for breakfast, stay for dinner!

You’ll love every bite!

708 Centre Street 904-321-1444

Amelia Island is 13 miles of unspoiled beaches, quaint shops, antique treasures and superb dining in a 50-block historic district less than one hour north of Jacksonville DECEMBER 14-20, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15

2017:

A POLITICAL PRIMER <<<< FR << FROM OM PPREVIOUS REVIVIVIOU RE OUSS OU circumstances. And the upcoming session will not be normal.

For one thing, the state budget situation is starting to look uglier. The economy, bolstered

by Obama-era quantitative easing that expanded the money supply in ways we’ll notice once he’s safely out of office, is starting to slow down.

Near-term budget projections are for tightening revenue, which is going to impact, among other things, raises for state workers.

Just as important, however, House Speaker Richard Corcoran is a small-government guy trying to tighten the purse strings, making asks difficult in the session ahead.

As much as people locally like to complain about Rick Scott, the reality is that he has served as an ameliorating force against some of the more parsimonious instincts of the legislature. And yeah, if you piss him off, he will veto your pet projects (see: Aaron Bean and the St. Johns River Ferry).

But Scott — a lame duck already, with one eye on a run for the Senate — is not the problem.

The problem is going to be Richard Corcoran.

WORTH WATCHING IS HOW THIS PARTICULAR delegation advances city priorities, such as the $50M it wants to tear down the Hart Bridge off-ramps at the Sports Complex (routing traffic on to Bay Street).

There was some disconnect at the Duval Delegation meeting at the end of November.

Mayor Curry made a two-minute pitch of the proposal, which he believes is a state obligation because the Hart Expressway is a state road. The delegation didn’t seem like they knew a thing about it before the meeting.

Delegation chair Jay Fant expressed provisional confidence when I asked him about it, saying that even though the folks in the delegation didn’t have a lot of tenure, they knew how to get things done.

Maybe so. But they’re going to have to get this through committees, get it onto the floor of the House, and get it through in a tight budget year where a lot of uncertainty already exists … and where a lot more uncertainty, vis-à-vis what Trump policies will actually look like, is certain to manifest.

HRO OR HELL TO THE NO?

Everyone’s favorite perennial bill looks poised to return in 2017, though it’s difficult to imagine enthusiasm manifesting for it that didn’t surface last time around.

It looks like Councilman Tommy Hazouri, who has been involved in city government in one form or another since consolidation, will be carrying the water again.

Hazouri needs help, of course. And the open question is where it will come from. A lifelong Democrat, the former mayor had key support on the HRO last time around from two moderate Republicans on council — Aaron Bowman and Jim Love.

The problem is that you need 10 votes to get it done.

JAXBIZ, the political arm of the Chamber, got 10 commitments of support for the HRO expansion during the 2015 campaign when many of the councilmembers were running for office.

There are seven Dems on council also.

One would think there would be 10 votes.

However, the reality is that many of the Democrats are too beholden to the church 16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 14-20, 2016

communities in their neighborhood to take a cco omm leading leaadii role on this issue, especially when it’s le on on the th h council floor.

Activists believe that things will be A diff diff fferent er this time. Some on council who quibbled quibb about the language of the bill may be swayed swayy by proposed changes, such as making it it illegal illee for people who aren’t actually LGBT to u use s opposite gender accommodations. In other words, “man, I feel like a woman” isn’t going to fly for heterosexual male wouldbe sexual predators hiding behind these protections.

However, the real question is whether any change in language will be enough.

Last time around, Bill Gulliford, who cheekily filed a bill proposing a referendum on the matter, one which likely would not have passed, brought in people from as far away as Washington state to warn against the “unintended consequences” of the legislation.

In the end of the last chapter on HRO, Gulliford, a master of theater and process in chambers, got what he wanted. Hazouri withdrew his bill, conveniently according with a desire of the mayor’s office to have the issue on the backburner at least through the August referendum on pension reform.

Now, we are past all of that. And the question becomes one of how the Chamber and the Jacksonville Coalition for Equality sell the bill this time around.

Last time around, a lot of capital went into the emotional appeal and the appearance of manufactured consensus. People who suffer discrimination — for being gay or bi, for being transgender or intersex — hazarded personal risk by going to council to tell their stories. And for each one of them, there seemed to be a Roy Bay or a Ken Adkins (Google them if you don’t remember), telling them that their experiences and cries for civil rights were invalid.

This time, the approach could go one of two ways.

The way that won’t work: having people like former mayoral candidate Audrey Moran issuing a warning in the Florida Times-Union, telling councilmembers that the people who “wrote the checks” would be sitting in the front row of City Council to ensure they vote the right way.

The way that will work: funneling the entire bloated lobbying budget and apparatus to Paul Harden, the best lobbyist in city history, one who has relationships with everyone on council and knows how to exploit them for his clients and causes.

Last time around, the lobbying was almost a joke, a bunch of single-issue advocates showing up at the St. James Building to have Productive Conversations with councilmembers … conversations that didn’t translate into tangible support. This time around, they need to let Harden — the embodiment of the good-ol’-boy system — make the sale to the good ol’ boys (and gals) on the Fourth Floor.

The sticking point right now is the ‘T’ in LGBT. Without it, they could get 13 votes, perhaps. They got nine in 2012, and society — even here in Cowford — has evolved beyond the sexually binary.

However, it is really an open question if this group is going to accept the transgender condition. Pro-HRO forces may be faced again with the unappetizing quandary between accepting the “half a loaf ” compromise bill, or failing for a third time in a try for the whole enchilada.

It’s entirely possible that 2017 will be just as fluid and unpredictable as 2016 was. However, going into the year, these stories are the best bet for what will drive the most news cycles.

A.G. Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com @AGGancarski

DECEMBER 14-20, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17

LIVE LOCAL. SHOP LOCAL. THESE ARE MORE THAN WORDS, THEY’RE THE GUIDING PRINCIPLE BEHIND EVERYTHING WE DO AT FOLIO WEEKLY. WE’RE SO LOCAL, WE’RE HYPER-LOCAL. CHECK OUT OUR 2016 GIFT GUIDE AND FIND OUT ABOUT THE VERY BEST THAT YOUR — AND OUR — COMMUNITY HAS TO OFFER.

18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 14-20, 2016

FOLIO A + E

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veryone knows someone in St. Johns County who was severely affected by Hurricane Matthew.

Ryan Murphy, Jeremy Rogers and Andrew Seward, who play together in local post-punk band Deadaires and work together at the St. Augustine Amphitheatre, escaped the storm’s wrath, but its impact cut close to the bone when good friend Jason Holloway saw his Davis Shores home inundated by floodwaters.

Since October, Jason, his wife Leah, and their seven-year-old son Kellen have bounced between short-term rental properties while their house is gutted and rebuilt. Witnessing the family’s struggles inspired Rogers and Murphy, who recently joined Holloway’s hardcore punk band Dredger, to organize a benefit show. “We wanted to do the most good with the money we raised, so we decided to be specific by helping this one family that is still displaced because of the storm,” Rogers tells Folio Weekly. “It might take them a year to rebuild. And let’s be honest: Jason plays 20 shows a year without seeing a dime, just to better the artistic community in the area. As a musician, it feels awesome to raise money for a member of our community when he honestly, truly needs it.”

The gentlemen of Deadaires recruited another friend to perform at the Dec. 16 benefit show for the Holloway family: Alkaline Trio bassist and celebrated solo singer/songwriter Dan Andriano, who’s lived in St. Augustine for nearly a decade.

“I know how terrible that hurricane was for a lot of people around here,” he tells Folio Weekly. “I evacuated with my family but then went out of town, so I couldn’t help the way I wanted to right after the storm. And even though I don’t know

the Holloways that well, any friend of Andrew’s and Ryan’s is a friend of mine.

So when they asked me to help out by playing this benefit, I said of course.”

Locals accustomed to seeing shows in one of a small handful of venues will also be excited: the Friday night concert marks the debut of DOS Coffee & Wine’s new event space, The Parlor Room, off San Marco Avenue.

Rogers, Murphy and Seward were actively trying to bypass obvious places in favor of alternate venues. So Rogers asked DOS owners Johnny and Julie Stoppelli if he could expand his regular solo gig into a onetime-only full-band rock show. “When I approached her, she just happened to have the new space done,” Rogers says.

“It’s got two beautiful large bay garage doors that were blown out and refinished, and even though it will focus on weddings and parties in the future, she said we could use it. Johnny and Julie have been so supportive — this is an awesome way for them to give back to the community and for us to spread the word for them.”

FILM Films of John Huston ARTS Clark Lunberry MUSIC Brother Cephus LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CALENDAR

Another awesome side product of the benefit show? Music fans will get to see fresh takes from both Deadaires and Andriano. Dan describes his solo performances as “nerve-racking” but says he ends up having more fun with them: “It allows for a different connection. You can get more personal — do a little bit more storytelling.”

After releasing their hard-charging debut album this fall and playing a few strategically situated shows, Deadaires are already hard at work on new boundary-pushing material. “We’re going to continue to write the way we did on the first record,” Rogers says, “so it will all be done in bits and pieces. But we’ll be more focused on what the band sounds like and where it’s going — a year ago, we had no idea.”

Since Hurricane Matthew struck, Jason and Leah Holloway’s focus has rested squarely on rebuilding their lives while trying to provide some semblance of a normal holiday season for their son. Rogers

ALL FOR ONE, ONE

FOR ALL

Deadaires and Dan Andriano team up to host BENEFIT SHOW for fellow St. Augustine musician Jason Holloway and his family

PG. 22 PG. 24 PG. 26 PG. 27

adds that Dredger has its own finished album slated for release in 2017. When asked about Holloway getting on the mic to perform one of the new songs with Murphy and him, Rogers laughs.

“Jason is the mastermind of that band, and Ryan and I are the newest members.

But Dredger is important to us, too.

That means Jason is more than just a bandmate — he’s a close personal friend.”

Most folks in St. Johns County will immediately recognize the sense of brotherhood that ties so many local musicians together. “I’ve been playing between St. Augustine, Jacksonville and Gainesville for 25 years,” Rogers says, “and there are a lot of people who’ve been doing it even longer who are still fueled by that camaraderie. We’re not drawing hundreds of people at our shows — we’re doing this for each other. We’re creating what we want to share with other people who happen to be creative.”

So although this week’s benefit show is all about raising money for the Holloway family, we’re guessing even they would deflect that praise and say it’s all about the spirit of St. Augustine’s thriving music community. “It’s a different animal, even from 10 years ago,” Rogers says with pride. “Coming from that DIY community, we know our music doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to have that passion. As long as you’re getting your ideas out there, there is no wrong.”

Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly.com __________________________________ If you can’t attend the show but want to contribute to the Holloway family, visit gofundme.com/theholloways.

A Benefit Show for the Holloway Family: DAN ANDRIANO & DEADAIRES 7 p.m. Dec. 16, DOS Coffee & Wine, St. Augustine, donations appreciated, dosbar.com

DECEMBER 14-20, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 19

20 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 14-20, 2016

DECEMBER 14-20, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 21

FOLIO A+E : MAGIC LANTERNS

A RINGSIDE

SEAT DEC

14

DEC

15

DEC

16

DEC

17

DEC

18

DEC

20

LIMES LIVE

Girls Night Out The Show

SUNDAY BIKE DAY

Ancient City Brewing • Harley Davidson

SOCAL TACO NIGHT Brewz

BREAKFAST WITH SANTA Seven Bridges Grille & Brewery

PUGS ‘N CHRISTMAS Riverside Pug Club

HOLIDAY NIGHT RIDE

Springfield Preservation & Revitalization

22 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 14-20, 2016

O

ne of Hollywood’s genuine mavericks, director John Huston had hits and misses during his long career, though the hits (The Maltese Falcon, The Asphalt Jungle, The Treasure of the Sierra Madre) certainly outnumber the misses (Annie, Sinful Davey).

Two of Huston’s lesser-known films are in Bluray in limited editions — Huston fans rejoice.

The Roots of Heaven (1958) is a real curiosity, a good film that might have (should have) been even better, while Fat City (1972) is an unqualified gem. Wildly different in subject and approach, each demonstrates Huston’s predilection for frustrated dreamers and idealistic losers — from Ahab in Moby Dick to Jake Gittes in Chinatown, from from Humphrey Bogart’s character in The Treasure of the Sierra Madre to Gable’s, Monroe’s and Clift’s in the aptly titled The Misfits.

Scripted by Romain Gary from his novel, The Roots of Heaven is an early environmentalist film about doomed efforts to save elephants from ivory hunters. Trevor Howard plays Morel, a WWII ex-POW who has dedicated his life to stop the decimation of the magnificent beasts. Flaunting civil authorities, he assembles a motley group, including an ex-hooker (Juliette Greco), a popular newscaster (Orson Welles), an opportunistic photographer (Eddie Albert) and a cynical drunk (Errol Flynn).

Initially successful after allying himself with a rebel leader, Morel’s idealism is ultimately no match for the concerted efforts of political bosses and moneyed interests. Eventually he’s betrayed by native leaders, who’d sided with him for publicity and notoriety rather than concern for the elephants. Morel loses, but the film’s bittersweet conclusion makes him a winner in spite of it all.

Beautifully shot on location in Africa, Heaven was problematic at the onset. Howard, a good actor but not a romantic leading man, was cast to replace William Holden, drastically changing essential dynamics between Morel and Greco’s character. In an effort to bolster box-office recognition, Flynn (who died at age 50 a year later) got top billing, though his role is decidedly secondary. In retrospect, his performance as the washed-up drunk is quite good … and, given Flynn’s obvious physical decline, quite sad.

The film’s major flaw is an unfocused script, something Huston lamented in his autobiography. Despite the producers’ financial investment and a physical toll on the actors, Heaven was too rushed for its own good. Yet it’s more than a worthy failure for lovers of film history today.

In contrast to the spectacular location scenery of that film, Fat City (scripted by Leonard Gardner from his novel), focuses on the squalid underbelly of small-time

We celebrate two lesser-known films by the inimitable JOHN HUSTON

boxing, migrant farmers and assorted losers in Stockton, California, whose ironic nickname gives the film its title. In one of his earliest and best roles, Stacy Keach plays Tully, a 30-yearold ex-boxer on the skids. His wife has left, he’s staying in a fleabag motel and working odd jobs with migrant field hands.

Briefly considering getting into shape and back in the ring, he crosses paths with Ernie (Jeff Bridges), a young guy with pugilistic aspirations. The movie follows Tully and Ernie separately as they pursue their ambitions before succumbing to realities outside the ropes.

Tully gets involved with a pathetic lush (Susan Tyrell, in a knockout Oscar-nod performance) and Ernie opts for marriage when his teenage girlfriend (Candy Clark) gets pregnant. In a terrific conclusion — understated (like the rest of the film) but deeply affecting — both men sip coffee at a lunch counter, measuring their lives with coffee spoons and faded dreams.

The movie opens and closes to Kris Kristofferson’s “Help Me Make It Through the Night.” Everyone here needs all the help they can get, but Huston still manages to celebrate the basic humanity and dignity of his lonely losers.

Fat City is revelatory rather than depressing.

In one scene near the end, a fighter brought up from Mexico to fight Tully in a comeback bout walks a dim-lit corridor alone after defeat, elegantly attired in the same clothes he wore when he arrived. He doesn’t say a word but when he and Tully embrace after the bell, we experience their mutual respect.

Both are defeated and yet they’re both winners, making it through the night on their own as best they can.

In terms of winning performances and Huston’s perceptive attention to ordinary details of our lives, Fat City is a real winner, too.

Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com

NOWSHOWING SUN-RAY CINEMA Manchester by the Sea, Moonlight and The Handmaiden screen, 1028 Park St., 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story starts Dec. 15.

CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ Anthropoid is running.

Scrooge (1935) runs 2 and 6:45 p.m. Dec. 14. It’s a Wonderful Life shows 2 and 6:45 p.m. Dec. 15-17.

TBT shows Elf, noon Dec. 15. “M” runs 8 p.m. Dec. 15 for Cult Thursday. 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com.

IMAX THEATER Rogue One: A Star Wars Story IMAX 3D starts Dec. 15. The Polar Express, America Wild: National Parks Adventure, A Beautiful Planet, Extreme Weather and Secret Ocean run at World Golf Village IMAX Theater, St. Augustine, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com.

ARTS + EVENTS PERFORMANCE

FIRST COAST NUTCRACKER An annual tradition for 40-plus years, the Jacksonville Symphony and the area’s finest young dancers perform the holiday ballet at 8 p.m. Dec. 16, 2 and 8 p.m. Dec. 17 and 2 p.m. Dec. 18 at Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 Water St., Downtown, 354-5547, $18-$50, jaxsymphony.com.

JASON WOODS: A CHRISTMAS CAROL Woods’ one-man show brings more than 25 characters from the Dickens classic to life, 8 p.m. Dec. 17 at Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts’ Studio Theater, 283 College Dr., Orange Park, 276-6750, $23 (show is 90 minutes without intermission), thcenter.org.

RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER THE MUSICAL The heartwarming tale about a reindeer with a bafflingly illuminated proboscis hits the stage at 7 p.m. Dec. 20 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $25-$49.50, floridatheatre.com.

A CHRISTMAS CAROL The Dickens classic is presented at 7:30 p.m. Dec. 15, 16 and 17 and 2 p.m. Dec. 18 at Douglas Anderson School of the Arts’ DuBow Theatre, 2445 San Diego Rd., San Marco, $20; $10 students, 346-5620; duvalschools.org.

LET’S KILL GREG The 5 & Dime stages a reading of Franklin Ritch’s play about an attempted assassination of a political leader, 8 p.m. Dec. 16 and 17 at 700 E. Union St., Ste. 1-J, Downtown, $5, the5anddime.org.

THE NUTCRACKER The Saint Augustine Ballet presents the holiday ballet 1:30 and 7 p.m. Dec. 17 and 18 at Flagler College’s Lewis Auditorium, 14 Granada St., St. Augustine, 806-2729, $25-$30, saintaugustineballet.com.

MRS. BOB CRATCHIT’S WILD CHRISTMAS BINGE Players by the Sea presents the seasonal parody, about Gladys Cratchit (Bob’s wife) and her booze-soaked ways, at 8 p.m.

Dec. 15, 16 and 17 at 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach, 249-0289, $23, playersbythesea.org.

A CHRISTMAS CAROL Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre stages its version of the Dickens’ classic, about a geriatric misanthrope who receives some serious spiritual payback (and redeems himself!), at 8 p.m. Dec. 16 and 17 and 2 p.m. Dec. 18 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-7177, $20; $10 ages 18 and under, abettheatre.com.

A CHRISTMAS STORY Alhambra Theatre & Dining presents a wacky tale of Ralphie and a genuine Red Ryder BB gun, through Dec. 24. Dinner 6 p.m.; brunch at noon, featuring a themed menu by Executive Chef DeJuan Roy; at 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $49.95-$62 plus tax, 641-1212, alhambrajax.com.

EBENEZER: A CHRISTMAS CAROL Amelia Community Theatre presents its song-filled production of Dickens’ much-loved tale, of an old man who is consistent in his hatred for humanity – until three ghosts deliver some much-needed, guilt-driven whoop-ass! – at 8 p.m. Dec. 15, 16 and 17 and 2 p.m. Dec. 18 at 207/209 Cedar St., Fernandina Beach, 261-6749, $25; $15 for students through high school, ameliacommunitytheatre.org.

COTTON PATCH GOSPEL This religious-based musical, with music by Harry Chapin that places the Gospel of Matthew square in the heart of modern-day, rural Georgia, is staged at 7:30 p.m. Dec. 15, 16 and 17 and 2 p.m. Dec. 18 at Limelight Theatre, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, 825-1164, $15; through Dec. 31, limelight-theatre.org.

A CHRISTMAS CAROL Dickens’ beloved classic, which gave us the delightful phrase uttered every year, “Bah, humbug!,” is presented at 7:30 p.m. Dec. 19 at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 442-2929, $14.25$49.25, artistseriesjax.org.

CLASSICAL & JAZZ

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA SYMPHONY The acclaimed Fort Myers symphony performs at 7:30 p.m. Dec. 15 at Flagler College’s Lewis Auditorium, 14 Granada St., St. Augustine, 797-2800, $40, emmaconcerts.com.

OH, CAROL! Northeast Florida theater fans can check six different spins on A Christmas Carol this week. For more info, check out the Performance listings.

DECEMBER 14-20, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23

FOLIO A+E : ARTS

O

f the many themes explored throughout Dr. Clark Lunberry’s Writing on Water and Writing on Air poetry installations, temporality — the fluidity with which we engage language and the ephemeral way in which words are presented to us today — is, often explicitly, a central thrust. With each installation, letters of words plastered to transparent surfaces or floating on top of water were constantly rearranged, sometimes with entire words disappearing. These were subtle, silent changes with disruptive and noisy implications.

Even so, the University of North Florida’s Thomas G. Carpenter Library — which, while providing the best vantage for viewing the installations, became something of an adoptive home for Lunberry’s increasingly ambitious projects — has brought all of the UNF English professor’s installations together in a new book, Writing on Air Writing on Water: Poetry Installations by Clark Lunberry, creating a static moment for art that is transitory by design.

“These installations were intended to self-destruct,” Lunberry tells Folio Weekly.

“So this book is a recollection or a memory of this thing that occurred … It consolidates.

It unifies events, or gives the illusion of unification. So, in some ways, yes, the book is incongruous with what has always motivated my projects.”

Lunberry teaches English in UNF’s College of Arts & Sciences, where aside from instruction in modern and contemporary poetry, his courses often delve into dramatic literature, performance studies, and the interrelations of the arts in literature with a sharp focus on the history of the avant-garde.

The connection between the literary and visual arts is inherent for Lunberry, who did his undergraduate work in art history and worked at the Whitney Museum of American Art in New York before earning his PhD from the University of Wisconsin — Milwaukee.

It was in 2007, during a class discussion on visual and concrete poetry, that Lunberry crystallized the idea for the first installation, Water on Water, chronicled in the book.

“One day, speaking of alternative sites and surfaces for a poem, I asked the students, hypothetically and half-jokingly, ‘What if a poem were written on water?’” Lunberry writes in the introduction of the book, wondering what difference would it make if a poem’s words were floating on a pond, rather than being printed on paper. It was a question of semantics, questioning if language would be affected by how it was seen or read — as well as the logistics of tackling this undertaking.

It was with these questions in mind that Lunberry paddled a kayak to the center of a nearly-football-field-sized pond in front of the heavily trafficked library at UNF, leaving a grouping of large white letters (each one seven-by-seven-feet, spelling out the phrase “Water on Water”) to float atop the water.

In the windows of the library’s stairwell, which offer stadium-like views of the pond, Lunberry arranged still more words, creating multiple opportunities for viewers to interact and interpret the words in different ways.

In the nearly 10 years since Water on Water, Lunberry’s installations have grown in scope to include sculptural and auditory components. He’s also been invited to undertake similar projects internationally in Japan, the United Kingdom and France, among other places.

In a conversation with Folio Weekly just a few days after the release of the book — which was commissioned by the UNF library’s Dean Elizabeth Curry and designed 24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 14-20, 2016

WORDS ON WORDS

New book chronicles the evolution of Clark Lunberry’s transformative POETRY INSTALLATIONS

by Michael Boyles — Lunberry admitted that the installations have been a transformative experience for him.

“This whole thing emerged out of this accidental development,” he says. “It’s funny to look back and think how none of this could have happened. It took on a life of its own.

It’s changed what I do, what I write, and even where I go.”

In a far-reaching conversation, Lunberry discussed the project. What follows is an edited version of that conversation.

Folio Weekly Magazine: After the initial inspiration for the first installation [Water on Water], did you have to present a long-term plan for the project? Were there bureaucratic hoops that you had to jump through?

Clark Lunberry: I just did it. [Laughs.] I have a real love for guerilla art and I often tell my students that in asking permission there is a real risk that you’ll be told No. Or that you’ll be given a pile of forms that have to be filled out. So for the first installation, we had the idea and we just did it, unannounced. There was a strong sense, though, when we went out to put those letters in the water, that this wasn’t going to work, anyway, so who cares.

Then we put a few out and it was like ‘whoa.

OK. This looks pretty cool.’ Moving forward, the library at UNF has just been fantastic to work with. They didn’t know about the first one, but they immediately liked it. They were very supportive and encouraging. In the future I did let them know.

The Writing on Water Writing on Air installations share some of the disruptive qualities, as it relates to language, with Marcel Duchamp’s Fountain especially in the way they play with assumptions of how naming something makes it what it is. Also Tristan Tzara’s To Make a Dadaist Poem.

How do you see your work carrying on the traditions of some of your biggest influences?

I’m definitely aware of the influences of visual

arts in my work. Everything you just said about uses of language that Dada inspired, no doubt influenced me. Beyond that, there was an emphasis in Dada on moving outside of the gallery — or moving outside of the traditional art spaces. So Dada emerged out of a bar in Zurich [Cabaret Voltaire]. That idea became almost second nature in modern contemporary art. But in 1916 that was just bizarre. So moving out into the world — out of the gallery — is central to my work.

Certainly water is not a traditional space for art. A more obvious influence in my opinion is the Earthworks and Land Art of the 1960s and ’70s. Robert Smithson — he was the land artist who did the spiral rock jetty into the Great Salt Lake in Utah — is somebody who has really interested me for a long time. His work with water I think is more than a subtle influence on my work. So, those movements and then also works in conceptual art where language was really central. Artists like Joseph Kosuth, Lawrence Weiner, whose artwork was explicitly using language.

In what significant ways did your approach to the project change over the years? Were you emboldened by people’s reaction or lack of reaction? Did you ever feel an urge to become more dramatic/literal?

I was pleased because there was a lot of really positive feedback and virtually no resistance to me doing them. These installations, when they’re up, they’re pretty hard to ignore. It’s not the kind of artwork that just fades into the background.

There was real enthusiasm and interest. People would ask me after the first and second one, “When are you going to do another one?”

Did you consider the ways in which students or faculty might be engaging with the environment (in passing, or in deep thought, in conversation) when you were choosing the words, or the way in which they’re displayed?

Yes, very much so. The stairway in the library is really central to this developing because of the view that you have going up the stairs and

looking out across the water and because you have so many people going up and down the stairs between the first and second floor. Even standing on the fourth floor looking down, you are almost on top of the water. The stairway is very heavily used and if you put something up there, you know it’s going to be responded to. After these things have gone up, I’ve made it a point to stand in the stairway and listen to people as they moved up the stairs. I’ve heard students reading the words aloud. My second piece, at first it said “Murmur of Words.” I went out on the pond and changed the word “words” to “wounds.” I still remember a time where I followed some students up the stairs and one of them was saying “What does that say?” And the other responded, “Oh, it says ‘murmur of words.’” Like she’d already seen it.

As they got up higher he said, “No, it doesn’t.

It says ‘murmur of wounds.’” And the other person just went, “Ew!” [Laughs.] It was just wonderful that she had this moment of shock and I’m sure she had to wonder, “Well, has it always said that? Was I misreading it all along?” And then the last one I did, I used a line from an Emily Dickinson poem and it read “I am nobody. Who are you?” I heard one woman, when she finally read it, say, “God, that’s depressing.” [Laughs.]

I read that you talk about the places we encounter written words have transformed.

Whereas books are still popular, in the grand scheme of things, they are blips on the radar.

Did the fact that the UNF library was so central to the projects influence you?

Because the installations at UNF were so closely linked to the library, I was often asking myself “Well, what is a library?” Libraries are becoming more media oriented and far less book oriented. Books have essentially been removed from the first floor of the library at UNF. It’s harder and harder to even get students to go up and look through the stacks of books up there. If it’s not available online there is a huge resistance to it. I’m well aware of that.

I’m guilty of it myself. The fact that this project has emerged adjacent to and within a library is not an accident. A library is an archive of language, of writing. You’re right. [The library] is in a process of amazing rethinking. In one of the installations, we basically submerged books in water and over a period of three or four weeks, those books disintegrated into a puddle of rotten mush. But they also became little Dada collages. Certain bits of paper would detach and float off. You can see in the book where just the word enlighten was floating by itself in the water — a wonderful little accident.

There’s another one I did where I essentially drilled a stack of books together and affixed them to the wall. All these books are encased in, like, 10 coats of shellac. It’s almost like the mosquito trapped in amber — the book as a dying artifact. I’ve joked that eventually the only books left in that library will be the ones in my sculpture.

Matthew B. Shaw mail@folioweekly.com _____________________________________ An online version of Writing on Air Writing on Water: Poetry Installations by Clark Lunberry, can be seen at tinyurl.com/z2vjcxl.

A longer version of this story can be seen at folioweekly.com.

ARTS + EVENTS TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA Multimedia, music-andlaser, seasonal overload is staged at 7:30 p.m. Dec. 15 at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 A. Philip Randolph Blvd., Downtown, 630-3900, $29.25-$63.25, ticketmaster.com.

A SOULFUL CHRISTMAS Local musicians and the Ritz Voices offer gospel-driven holiday music at 7 p.m. Dec. 16 at The Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 807-2010, $9, ritzjacksonville.com.

JACKSONVILLE CHILDREN’S CHORUS The chorus performs its “Cool Side of Yuletide Holiday Concert” at 3 p.m. Dec. 17 at Hendricks Avenue Baptist Church , 4001 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, jaxchildrenschorus.org.

CHORUSES FROM HANDELThe Cathedral Choir performs choruses from Handel’s Messiah at 11 a.m. Dec. 18 at St. John’s Cathedral, 256 E. Church St., Downtown, 356-5507, jaxcathedral.org.

FRIDAY MUSICALE SCHOLARSHIP LAUREATES The Laureates perform at 3 p.m. Dec. 18 at Friday Musicale, 645 Oak St., Riverside, 355-7584, fridaymusicale.com.

COMEDY

MUTZIE Funnyman Mutzie, rocking for nearly 30 years, is on at 7:30 p.m. Dec. 14, 8:30 p.m. Dec. 15, and 8 p.m. Dec. 16 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, 292-4242, $12-$18, comedyzone.com.

D.C. BENNY Comedian Benny, who’s appeared on Last Comic Standing, presents his Christmas-tinged humor at 8:30 p.m.

Dec. 15 and 8 p.m. Dec. 16 and 17 at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-4277, $17-$30, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

FRED’S ALL-STAR COMEDIANS Local comedians Spence, Ozrick Cooley, and others are on at 7:30 p.m. Dec. 20, The Comedy Zone, $10, comedyzone.com.

MIKE ARMSTRONG Funnyman Armstrong (HBO, Comedy Central) is on at 7:30 p.m. Dec. 21 and 22 and 8:30 p.m.

Dec. 23, The Comedy Zone, $12-$15, comedyzone.com.

CALLS & WORKSHOPS

JACKSONVILLE CHILDREN’S CHROUS Spring semester auditions are held by appointment only at 4:30 p.m. Jan. 5, 5 p.m. Jan.9 and 4 p.m. Jan. 10 at 225 E. Duval St., Downtown, 353-1636 ext. 1; jaxchildrenschrous.org/audition.

AMERICA’S GOT TALENT! Auditions are held on Jan. 7 at Prime Osborn Convention Center, 1000 Water St., Downtown, americsgottalentauditions.com.

NEW TOWN URBAN FARM Urban Geoponics and New Town are developing a large community garden at Pearce and West Third streets, in the New Town/Edward Waters area, Northside. It will provide fresh produce and a hands-on, open-air center of learning for the community and area students. Urban Farm meets 10 a.m.-1 p.m. every Sun. Details, call Diallo-Sekou at 706-284-9808.

ART WALKS & MARKETS

WHITE HARVEST FARMS & FARMER’S MARKET Local organic, fresh produce, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. every Sat. at 5348 Moncrief Rd., Northside, 354-4162; proceeds benefit Clara White Mission, clarawhitemission.org.

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Local, regional art, music – Folk Is People, Jackie Stranger, The Rip Currents 10:30 a.m. Dec. 17 – under the Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com.

MUSEUMS

AMELIA ISLAND MUSEUM OF HISTORY 233 S. Third St., Fernandina, 261-7378, ameliamuseum.org. It Came from the Attic: The Lesesne House is currently on display.

CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 29 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummermuseum.org. David Ponsler: Chasing Shadows, is on display through Oct. 4. Folk Couture: Fashion & Folk Art, works by 13 artists inspired by Folk Art Museum, displays through Jan. 1. Lift: Contemporary Expressions of the African American Experience, works of local artists Thony Aiuppy, Glendia Cooper, Ingrid Damiani, Overstreet Ducasse, Dustin Harewood, Marsha Hatcher, Hiromi Moneyhun, Princess Rashid, Chip Southworth, Roosevelt Watson III, displays through Feb. 12.

KARPELES MANUSCRIPT LIBRARY MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992, rain.org/~karpeles/jax.html. An exhibit of photographic works by Will Dickey, staff photographer for The Florida Times-Union, is on display through Dec. 30.

MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911, mocajacksonville.unf.edu. The MOCA Student Residency Exhibition, featuring works by MOCA’s inaugural student-in-residence Mary Ratcliff, is on display through April 2. An artist walkthrough with Ratcliff is held 7-8 p.m. Dec. 15. The Project Atrium: Nicola Lopez installation, A Gentle Defiance of Gravity & Form, a skyscraper-like construction that combines steel and printed imagery, is on display through Feb. 26. Leaves: Recent Prints & Sculpture by Donald Martin is on display through Jan. 22. Retro-Spective: Analog Photography in a Digital World, featuring contemporary photographers exploring 19th-century photographic processes, displays through Jan. 8.

WORLD GOLF HALL OF FAME & MUSEUM 1 World Golf Pl., St. Augustine, 940-4133, worldgolfhalloffame.org. Grace & Grit – Women Champions Through the Years is on display.

GALLERIES

THE ART CENTER GALLERY Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 139, 233-9252, tacjacksonville.org. Figure drawing classes are held 7 p.m. every Tue.

BOLD BEAN COFFEE 1903 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, boldbeancoffee.com. Recent works by Shaun Thurston are currently on display.

BREW FIVE POINTS 1024 Park St., Riverside, 374-5789, brewfivepoints.com. The exhibit Signs of Life, featuring new works by Chip Southworth, is on display.

BUTTERFIELD GARAGE ART GALLERY 137 King St., St. Augustine, 825-4577, butterfieldgarage.com. The festive group show White Christmas is on display through Dec. 27.

THE CULTURAL CENTER AT PONTE VEDRA BEACH 50 Executive Way, 280-0614, ccpvb.org. Visions: Ancient & Modern, featuring works by Mary Lou Gibson and Worley Faver, displays through Jan. 5.

DOUGLAS ANDERSON SCHOOL OF THE ARTS’ CAMPUS GALLERY 2445 San Diego Rd., San Marco, 346-5620, duvalschools.org. Works by DASOTA students are featured.

FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928, firststreetgalleryart.com. The 17th Annual Christmas Ornament Show is on display through Dec. 24.

Watercolorist Sandra Baker Hinton’s Coastal Colors displays through Jan. 4.

FLORIDA MINING GALLERY 5300 Shad Rd., Southside, 5357252, floridamininggallery.com. Identity and Abstraction, works by Michael Hunter, Christina West and Alex Jackson, is on display.

GALLERY 1037 Reddi-Arts, 1037 Hendricks Ave., Southbank, 398-3161, jacksonvilleartistsguild.org. The Jacksonville Artists Guild presents Les Quatre Amis, works by Princess Simpson Rashid, Annelies Dykgraaf, Cookie Davis and Marsha Hatcher, through December.

HUBLEY GALLERY 804 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 429-9769. Mary Hubley’s Toescape is on display.

MONROE GALLERIES 40 W. Monroe St., Downtown, 881-0209, monroegalleries.com. Works by Jami Childers, Barbie Workman, Amber Angeloni, Zara Harriz, Amber Bailey and First Coast Plein Air Painters are displayed.

MONYA ROWE GALLERY 4 Rohde Ave., St. Augustine, monyarowegallery.com. Tropic Apparition, new works by painter Amy Lincoln, is on display through Dec. 18.

NASSAU COUNTY LIBRARY 25 N. Fourth St., Fernandina Beach, 277-7365, nassaureads.com. The Art of the Japanese Print, from the Christine and Paul Meehan Collection, runs through Dec. 30.

PLUM GALLERY 10 Aviles St., St. Augustine, 825-0069, plumartgallery.com. New works by painter Sara Pedigo and assemblage artist Barbara J. Cornett are on display through February.

ROTUNDA GALLERY St. Johns County Admin. Bldg., 500 San Sebastian View, St. Augustine, 471-9980. The Betty Griffin Center: A Day Without Violence exhibit runs through Jan. 26.

SUBLIME ORIGINAL GALLERY The DeLO, 420 Broad St., Downtown, 901-5515, sublimeoriginal.com. Life is Beautiful: An Exhibition of Works by Linda Broadfoot, Jim Draper, Thomas Hager, Chris Leidy and Steven Lyon, displays through Jan. 9.

SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY Bank of America Tower, 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 150, 438-4358, southlightgallery.com. Tom Schifanella’s Primal Light: Landscape Photography of Iceland and Peace On Earth, with the works of 18 collaborative members, display in December.

ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., 824-2310, staaa.org. Florida Forever! is on display through December.

EVENTS

HOLIDAY NUTCRACKER DISPLAY All kinds of Nutcrackers – like from the much-loved ballet – are on display for holiday viewing, in the windows of Hooshang Oriental Rugs, 3571 St. Johns Ave., Avondale, 384-7111, hooshang-rugs.com.

GAAM SECRET TOY PARTY Games Art And Music (GAAM) holds its Secret Toyland Party, with video games, photo spots, food trucks, dancing, Cosplay and adult beverages.

Bring a toy for Toys for Tots, get a ticket discount. The location is revealed after you buy a ticket. 7 p.m. Dec. 17; ages 18 and up, $13-$30; eventbrite.com.

ST. AUGUSTINE ECO TOURS One-hour excursions in six or 12-passenger vessels daily, 6-7 p.m. and 7:30-8:30 p.m., along Matanzas River, leaving from Municipal Marina, 111 Avenida Menendez, St. Augustine, $35; call for details 3777245, staugustineecotours.com.

JAX BEACH DECK THE CHAIRS A multimedia-holiday show with more than 40 lifeguard chairs decorated and an enhanced 30-foot-tall Christmas tree, programmed music, dancing lights and light projections, is held at 6, 7, 8 and 9 p.m. every Fri., Sat. and Sun. in December (except Christmas); deckthechairs.org.

ENCHANTED CHRISTMAS VILLAGE The family-friendly compound includes Santa’s workshop, letter-writing station, haymaze, hayrides, carousel rides, craft barn marketplace, food trucks, performances, one-millionplus lights, 5-10 p.m. Tue.-Fri.; 10 a.m.-10 p.m. Sat. and Sun., through December at 17255 Normandy Blvd., Northside, $22; $12 ages 3-13, kids 3 and younger free, jacksonvillechristmas.com.

JAX ILLUMINATIONS HOLIDAY LIGHT SHOW The fourth annual drive-thru show is a mile-long drive through a millionplus lights, 6-9:30 p.m. nightly through Jan. 1, Morocco Shrine Center, 3800 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Southside, $20; 7-passenger max, $2.50 each additional, jaxilluminations.com. ____________________________________________ To list an event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price, contact number to print to Daniel A. Brown – email dbrown@folioweekly.com or mail, 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Items run as space is available. Deadline noon Wed. for next Wed. printing.

DECEMBER 14-20, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25

FOLIO A+E : MUSIC

Folksy post-rockers Brother Cephus puts its SIBLING SYNERGY to good use

W

INDIE DEPENDENTS

hen it comes to melding minds in service of a song, certainly familial collaborators must have a leg up on the competition. While the non-blood-related partnerships Lennon-McCartney and the “Glimmer Twins” (Jagger-Richards) remain inarguably the most notable of all time, sibling teams like Motown royalty Brian and Eddie Holland, falsetto disco trio Barry, Robin and Maurice Gibb, and cheeky-alt rockers Noel and Liam Gallagher each left an indelible mark on the decade in which they wrote tunes. Today, there are songwriting teams featuring members with similar DNA sequences enjoying success in nearly every genre, from pop-punks P.S. Eliot to banjo-brigadiers The Avett Brothers.

Thus, anyone looking for a magical musical partnership should remember this credo to nepotism: Keep it in the family!

As the name suggests, Tampa-based indie band Brother Cephus was born of literal kinship. Though Seth and Gabriel Davis have a long way to go to be added to the pantheon of famous sibling pen-pals, at 23 and 24 years old, respectively, the brothers’ partnership has already yielded a trio of regionally well-regarded EPs since 2014 — the latest, a five-song collection called Noise, being the best of the bunch.

Brother Cephus’ moody, layered sound fits neatly among atmosphere-heavy contemporary acts like Ducktails, The War on Drugs, Real Estate, and others often categorized using the confounding, contradictory, yet somehow appropriate label of “Indie.” The brothers’ share duties of singing, songwriting and guitar playing, applying a brooding, emotive vocal style to topical (if not First World-centric) lyrics, while interweaving chime-y, intricate guitar parts over mellow rock grooves.

Just because they’re splitting the obligations of crafting the songs doesn’t mean one brother treats the other’s tunes with indifference, says older brother Gabriel.

“It’s interesting that one of us will introduce a song with a certain intent and then the other will naturally attach his own meaning,” Davis says. “It may not end up changing the original meaning, but it helps us improve on the idea. And at the end of the day, we both have to play and perform these songs with feeling, so we better connect to it.”

The progeny of a pastor, the Davis boys cut their teeth playing music in a nondenominational church.

26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 14-20, 2016

“It was honestly a great experience because we were able to play and perform music a couple times a week, every week,” says Davis.

Musically, however, the brothers’ rearing strayed from the ecclesiastical.

“Our dad was a teenager in the ’70s and had a soft spot for folk-influenced rock,” says Davis. “We grew up listening to a lot of James Taylor, Jackson Browne, Neil Young, other kinds of singer-songwriter stuff.”

As teenagers, the brothers dived into Tampa’s vibrant punk and hardcore scene, which led them down a well-traversed rabbit-hole where they discovered highly cited modern punk and indie influencers like Fugazi, Joy Division, The Smiths … the list goes on.

Mixing in a little new wave, some grunge and emo, their eclectic musical tutelage resulted in a sound that, while easily (if not lazily) categorized as “indie,” does have a recognizable and refreshing depth.

Lyrically, Seth and Gabriel wrestle with (and articulate quite well) many of the same issues indie-peers tend to bring to light — the implications of an over-stimulated youth culture, the false or fabricated narratives people present through the Internet and social media, a decaying trust in traditional institutions. But, unlike songwriters critical of the pop cultural hangover from Generation X (Father John Misty, St. Vincent, Kurt Vile or Cass McCombs come to mind) — who tend to employ sharp-tongued sarcasm, cynicism or irreverence as weapons of choice, shaming those who aren’t quite as introspective — the Davis brothers tend to look inward, penning lyrics that are critical, yet earnest and sincere in their optimism.

“A lot of times, I think our own selfcriticisms cloud our interactions or the way we view others,” says Davis. “[Seth and I] are interested in addressing those things, but also moving past them.”

“I’m not happy that I personally spend an inordinate amount of my day on Facebook instead of writing music,” Davis continues.

“But I’m not going to criticize someone who struggles to get away from that. I think it’s better to say, ‘OK, this is happening, let’s fix it.’”

“At the same time, we’d like to say, ‘Fuck it.

Let’s have some fun.’”

With Noise, that sanguine outlook is front and center.

On the album’s title track, the elder Davis brother sings, “My mind screams like an

ocean of sound/ Forget what you’ve learned, forget what you know/ All these things I’m hearing they’re taking me further and further away.” As Gabriel delivers the lyric, he draws out each line, leaving ample space for reflection, before belting the chorus: “What’s all that noise?/ What’s all this shit in my head?/ Stop all that noise.”

“My dad always said the fear of something can be worse than the reality,” Davis says of the track’s technology-focused broodings.

“There are obvious negative by-products of the technology we are using. There is a lot of stimulation, white noise, stuff that can cloud your vision. At the same time, if you really look at things and you can confront your fears and doubts, you can make progress. I’m trying to confront that throughout the album.”

The EP’s second track, “The Disconnect,” traverses similar terrain. With his vocals drenched in reverb, over similarly reverbheavy, punchy guitar strums, Gabriel sings, “We pack this house like sardines./ Try to keep the bills low./ The rising cost of electricity./ I can’t pay it on my own.” Then, in another drawn-out chorus, sings, “The disconnect, the Internet./ The gap between who I am and who I want to be.”

“That song in particular, a lot of those lyrics are pretty literal to the situation of where we were living at the time I wrote it,” Davis says of “The Disconnect.” “Part of what I was thinking about was how little silence I actually experienced on a day-to-day basis. We were living with five dudes in the same house. We were living on top of each other, kind of suffocating one another. And whenever I had space to myself, I’d put on Netflix, or a podcast, or listen to music.”

“I started thinking that part of me was a little afraid to sit in silence.”

Even on a song like the fifth track “Matrimony,” in which younger brother Seth casts a critical eye on the inclination of the young, Southern Christians the brothers grew up with to rush into early marriage (“I’m tired of matrimony. Tied now to a crooked home”), the song’s up-tempo backbone, shimmery guitars and refrain (“I know this life is hard./ I know this life is good”) all point the song directly toward reconciliation.

BROTHER CEPHUS, CIVILIAN and THE YOUNG STEP 7:30 p.m. Dec. 20, Mockshop Music Exchange, Murray Hill, mockshopmusicexchange.com

It’s the kind of self-aware, self-betterment focused outlook that would sound at home if it were woven into a Sunday sermon. And the Davis brothers don’t shy away from the fact that their upbringing – both in the church and in the modern American Worship music scene (as teens, they played in older brother Ben’s Christian Rock band Ascend The Hill) – continues to shape the way they see the world.

“It’s influenced Seth and me in different ways, both positive and negative,” Davis says.

Far from stepping on the fumie, Davis says he now relates to his faith as more of an ongoing search. That current search includes heading back in the studio to work on new Brother Cephus material this month, and plotting a more extensive U.S. tour for spring 2017.

“The existential thought process is something that’s hard to ignore,” he says.

“I still align with a lot of what we grew up to believe. But I’ll never stop searching, that’s for sure.”

Matthew B. Shaw mail@folioweekly.com

One Soulful Holiday: MAMA BLUE’S HOLIDAY HOOPLA is held Dec. 15 at 1904 Music Hall, Downtown.

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK

SPADE McQUADE 6 p.m. Dec. 14, Fionn MacCool’s Irish Pub, Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247.

CONTINENTAL, DIGDOG, GOV CLUB 8 p.m. Dec. 14, Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $7 advance; $10 day of.

EDWIN McCAIN, DANNY BURNS 8 p.m. Dec. 14, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., 209-0399, $31.50-$45.50.

VESTA COLLIDE, VILLAIN OF THE STORY, GAFFER PROJECT 8 p.m. Dec. 14, Planet Sarbez, 115 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 342-0632, $5.

MAMA BLUE’S HOLIDAY HOOPLA 6:30 p.m. Dec. 15, 1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St., Downtown, $12 advance; $15 day of.

THE PAUSES, DEADAIRES, FLOWER CITY CONSPIRACY 8 p.m. Dec. 15, Jack Rabbits, $8 advance; $10 day of.

3 THE BAND 9 p.m. Dec. 15, Flying Iguana, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680.

Holloway Family Benefit Show: DAN ANDRIANO, DEADAIRES 7 p.m. Dec. 16, DOS Coffee & Wine, 300 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine, 342-2421, all donations accepted.

John Parkerurban’s Joyful Noise Jam & Toy Drive: PARKER URBAN BAND, BONNIE BLUE, KIM RETEGUIZ & THE BLACK CAT BONES, WILD ROOT MUSIC 8 p.m. Dec. 16, 1904 Music Hall, $8 advance; $10 day of.

TOOTS LORRAINE & THE TRAFFIC 8 p.m. Dec. 16, Mojo Kitchen, 1500 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 247-6636.

PRIMITIVE HARD DRIVE, EMMA MOSELEY BAND, JOHNNY GREENLIGHT 8 p.m. Dec. 16, Mavericks Live, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 356-1110, $8.

A Not So Silent Night I: IN WHISPERS, NEW DAY, F.I.L.T.H., MINDSLIP 8 p.m. Dec. 16, Jack Rabbits, $10 advance; $15 day of.

CHUCK NASH BAND 10 p.m. Dec. 16 & 17, Flying Iguana.

DOC AL BAND 9:30 p.m. Dec. 16, Whiskey Jax, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Southside, 634-7208.

DIRTY PETE 10 p.m. Dec. 16, The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 264-0611, $2.

Riverside Arts Market: FOLK IS PEOPLE, STRANGERWOLF, THE RIP CURRENTS 10:30 am. Dec. 17, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449.

THE SUS-TONES 7 p.m. Dec. 17, Planet Sarbez, $10.

TRAIL DRIVER CD Release Party 8 p.m. Dec. 17, 1904 Music Hall, $8 advance; $10 day of.

A Not So Silent Night I: BLEEDING IN STEREO, NONE LIKE US, SOULSWITCH, MARION CRANE 8 p.m. Dec. 17, Jack Rabbits, $10 advance; $15 day of.

DON’T CALL ME SHIRLEY 9:30 p.m. Dec. 17, Whiskey Jax. PASSAFIRE, CLOUDING VIBES, FIVE 40 10 p.m. Dec. 17, The Roadhouse, $5 advance; $10 day of.

CANDOR 7 p.m. Dec. 18, Jack Rabbits, $8 advance; $10 day of.

THE SPILL CANVAS 7:30 p.m. Dec. 18, 1904 Music Hall, $13 advance; $15 day of.

GRIFFIN HOUSE 8:30 p.m. Dec. 18, The Original Café Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311, $20 advance; $24 day of.

DARREN CORLEW 8:30 p.m. Dec. 18, Flying Iguana.

VILE BODY, NO FACE, TOTALLY KAROL, 86 HOPE 9 p.m. Dec. 18, Shanghai Nobby’s, 10 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 547-2188, suggested donation $3-$5.

SALIVA, THE YEAR OF THE LOCUST, THE EVERYDAY LOSERS 8 p.m. Dec. 19, Jack Rabbits, $15.

FELLY, GYYPS, TUT, HEALY, DENVER HALL 7 p.m. Dec. 20, Jack Rabbits, $15; $50 VIP. BROTHER CEPHUS, CIVILIAN, THE YOUNG STEP 7:30 p.m.

Dec. 20, Mockshop Music Exchange, 933 Edgewood Ave. S., Murray Hill, 647-4415.

SUNGHOSTS, FUTURE THIEVES 7 p.m. Dec. 21, Jack Rabbits, $8.

JACKIE EVANCHO 7:30 p.m. Dec. 21, The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $35-$65.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

INSPECTION 12 Dec. 23, Jack Rabbits CARDINAL SLINKY, MR. NEVER AND THE SCARS, BEBE DELUXE Dec. 23, Hourglass Pub TOMBOI Dec. 25, Jack Rabbits RICKOLUS, COMPLICATED ANIMALS Dec. 29, Jack Rabbits DONNA THE BUFFALO, BUTCH TRUCKS & THE FREIGHT TRAIN BAND Dec. 29, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE NTH POWER Dec. 30, Ritz Theatre SHEN YUN 2017 Jan. 3 & 4, Times-Union Center THE MOTHER GOOSES Jan. 6, Jack Rabbits MICHAEL BOLTON Jan. 11, The Florida Theatre DAMIEN ESCOBAR Jan. 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall WIMPY RUTHERFORD & THE CRYPTICS Jan. 13, Nobby’s Winter Jam: CROWDER, BRITT NICOLE, TENTH AVENUE NORTH, ANDY MINEO, COLTON DIXON, THOUSAND FOOT KRUTCH, NEWSONG, OBB, SARAH REEVES, STEVEN MALCOLM Jan. 13, Veterans Memorial Arena LEWIS BLACK Jan. 13, The Florida Theatre DWEEZIL ZAPPA Jan. 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall HENRY ROLLINS Jan. 14, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall LOS LOBOS Jan. 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PINK MARTINI Jan. 17, The Florida Theatre DOYLE BRAMHALL II Jan. 17, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MIKE DOUGHTY, WHEATUS Jan. 18, Jack Rabbits DR. JOHN & the NITE TRIPPERS Jan. 18, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall UPRIGHT CITIZENS BRIGADE Jan. 20, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ORDINARY BOYS: A tribute to the music of The Smiths & Morrisey Jan. 21, 1904 Music Hall PETER BRADLEY ADAMS Jan. 22, Café Eleven Spend the Night with BILLY CRYSTAL Jan. 25, TimesUnion Center’s Moran Theater JEANNE ROBERTSON Jan. 21, The Florida Theatre ELVIS LIVES Jan. 24, Times-Union Center GLADYS KNIGHT Jan. 25, The Florida Theatre LEE BRICE, JUSTIN MOORE, WILLIAM MICHAEL MORGAN Jan. 26, Veterans Memorial Arena KATHLEEN MADIGAN Jan. 27, The Florida Theatre J BOOG, JEMERE MORGAN Jan. 27, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall KENNY ROGERS, LINDA DAVIS Jan. 28, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Performing Arts

THE BEACH BOYS Jan. 28, The Florida Theatre KURT VILE & THE VIOLATORS, LUKE ROBERTS Jan. 30, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall VOCALOSITY Feb. 1, The Florida Theatre CHRISTIE DASHIELL Feb. 2, Ritz Theatre ARLO GUTHRIE Feb. 2, The Florida Theatre TOM RUSH Feb. 3, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PAT METHENY, ANTONIO SANCHEZ, LINDA OH, GWILYM SIMCOCK Feb. 3, The Florida Theatre SARA WATKINS Feb. 4, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BOSTON POPS ESPLANDE ORCHESTRA Feb. 4, TimesUnion Center for the Performing Arts GAELIC STORM Feb. 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall G. LOVE & SPECIAL SAUCE Feb. 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall HISS GOLDEN MESSENGER Feb. 9, Jack Rabbits THE BABES Feb. 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ANDERS OSBORNE, THE GHOST OF PAUL REVERE Feb. 11, Mavericks Live Lincolnville Porch Fest: CHELSEA SADDLER, TELEPATHIC LINES, RIVERNECKS, THE WOBBLY TOMS, GHOST TROPIC, AMY HENDRICKSON, SAND FLEAS, ROBBIE DAMMIT & THE BROKEN STRINGS, NESTA, RAMONA QUIMBY, KYLE WAGONER, EARLY DISCLAIMERS, LONESOME BERT & THE SKINNY LIZARDS, KENSLEY STEWART, THE WILLOWWACKS, ASLYN & THE NAYSAYERS Feb. 12, St. Augustine UNDER THE STREETLAMP Feb. 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall AL DI MEOLA Feb. 14, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall YES Feb. 15, The Florida Theatre ANDY McKEE Feb. 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THREE DOG NIGHT, AMERICA Feb. 16, The Florida Theatre RICHARD THOMPSON Feb. 16, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE PAUL THORN BAND Feb. 17, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE PIANO GUYS Feb. 17, The Florida Theatre TOBYMAC, MATT MAHER, MANDISA, MAC POWELL, CAPITAL KINGS, RYAN STEVENSON, HOLLYN Feb. 17, Veterans Memorial Arena TRAE CROWDER, COREY RYAN FORESTER, DREW MORGAN Feb. 18, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SOUTHSIDE JOHNNY & THE ASBURY JUKES Feb. 19, The Florida Theatre COLIN HAY Feb. 22, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall JOE BONAMASSA Feb. 22, The Florida Theatre MINDI ABAIR Feb. 23, Ritz Theatre MANHATTAN TRANSFER, TAKE 6 Feb. 23, Florida Theatre FOREIGNER, KANSAS Feb. 24, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ELIZABETH COOK, DALE WATSON Feb. 24, P.V.C. Hall LUKE BRYAN, BRETT ELDREDGE Feb. 25, Veterans Memorial Arena OLD 97’s, BOTTLE ROCKETS Feb. 25, P. Vedra Concert Hall PEPPER, LESS THAN JAKE Feb. 25, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DENNIS DeYOUNG, JACKSONVILLE ROCK SYMPHONY Feb. 26, The Florida Theatre AGENT ORANGE, GUTTERMOUTH, THE QUEERS, THE ATOM AGE Feb. 26, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Backyard Party TAJ EXPRESS Feb. 28, Times-Union Center AMOS LEE Feb. 28, The Florida Theatre MARC COHN March 1, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall

DECEMBER 14-20, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC

The holiday gift of a night of local rock is all yours when PRIMITIVE HARD DRIVE, EMMA MOSELEY BAND (pictured), and JOHNNY GREENLIGHT perform Dec. 16 at Mavericks Live, Downtown.

THE WEIGHT, members of THE BAND March 3, P.V.C. Hall LUCINDA WILLIAMS March 4, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE GROWLERS March 4, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Backyard Party SPYRO GYRA March 5, The Florida Theatre WILLIE NELSON & FAMILY, DWIGHT YOAKAM March 7, St. Augustine Amphitheatre TAJ MAHAL March 10, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall KODO March 11, The Florida Theatre CLINT BLACK March 12, The Florida Theatre NEWSBOYS March 12, Times-Union Center AUDRA McDONALD, JACKSONVILLE CHILDREN’S CHORUS March 12, Times-Union Center’s Jacoby Symphony Hall THE CHARLIE DANIELS BAND March 16, Florida Theatre IGOR & THE RED ELVISES March 16, Café Eleven GET THE LED OUT March 17, The Florida Theatre ADAM SAVAGE, PILOBOLUS SHADOWLAND March 21, The Florida Theatre

THE HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS March 21, Veterans Memorial Arena 24 Karat Gold Show: STEVIE NICKS, PRETENDERS March 23, Veterans Memorial Arena I Love The ’90s Tour: VANILLA ICE, NAUGHTY by NATURE, SUGAR RAY’S MARK McGRATH, BIZ MARKIE, ALL-4-ONE, YOUNG MC March 24, St. Augustine Amphitheatre CHEYENNE JACKSON March 24, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall 1964: THE TRIBUTE March 25, St. Augustine Amphitheatre AIR SUPPLY March 26, The Florida Theatre RICKY SKAGGS & KENTUCKY THUNDER March 26, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall DINOSAUR JR. March 31, Mavericks Live JIM BRICKMAN March 31, The Florida Theatre RICK THOMAS April 1, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall XIU XIU April 1, The Sleeping Giant Film Festival STEVE MILLER BAND, LOS LONELY BOYS April 2, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ANA POPOVIC April 5, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall

LEO KOTTKE, KELLER WILLIAMS April 6, Florida Theatre LITTLE RIVER BAND, JACKSONVILLE ROCK SYMPHONY April 7, The Florida Theatre ALAN JACKSON, LEE ANN WOMACK April 8, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Legends of Southern Hip Hop: SCARFACE, MYSTIKAL, 8 BALL & MJG, TRICK DADDY, BUN B, JUVENILE, PASTOR TROY, ANDRAE MURCHINSON April 8, Ritz Theatre SHOVELS & ROPE April 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall NuSoul Revival Tour: MUSIQ SOUsLCHILD, LYFE JENNINGS, AVERY SUNSHINE, KINDRED THE FAMILY SOUL April 8, Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts BUDDY GUY, THE RIDES (Stephen Stills, Kenny Wayne Shepherd, Barry Goldberg) April 9, St. Augustine Amphitheatre CHRIS BOTTI April 18, The Florida Theatre Wanee Music Festival: BOB WEIRD & THE CAMPFIRE BAND, TREY ANASTASIO BAND, WIDESPREAD PANIC, GOV’T MULE, DARK STAR ORCHESTRA, DR. JOHN & THE NITE TRIPPERS, JJ GREY & MOFRO, LES BRERS (BUTCH TRUCKS, JAIMOE, OTEIL BURBRIDGE, MARC QUINONES, JACK PEARSON, PATE BERGERON, BRUCE KATZ, LAMAR WILLIAMS JR.), JAIMOE’S JASSSZ BAND, BLACKBERRY SMOKE, LEFTOVER SALMON (MUSIC OF NEIL YOUNG), MATISYAHU, THE GREYBOY ALLSTARS, KELLER WILLIAMS’ GRATEFUL GRASS, PAPADOSIO, TURKUAZ, PINK TALKING FU (MUSIC OF DAVID BOWIE & PRINCE), PINK TALKING FISH, KUNG FU, DJ LOGIC, BOBBY LEE ROGERS TRIO, DEVON ALLMAN BAND, THE MARCUS KING BAND, YETI TRIO, BROTHERS AND SISTERS, BUTCH TRUCKS & THE FREIGHT TRAIN BAND April 20, 21 & 22, Suwannee Music Park MJ LIVE! April 20-23, Times-Union Center TOWER OF POWER April 22, The Florida Theatre RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS April 23, Veterans Memorial Arena NATHANIEL RATELIFF & THE NIGHT SWEATS April 26, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Welcome to Rockville: SOUNDGARDEN, DEF LEPPARD, A PERFECT CIRCLE, THE OFFSPRING, MASTODON, CHEVELLE, SEETHER, PAPA ROACH, THREE DAYS GRACE, PIERCE THE VEIL, COHEED AND CAMBRIA, ALTER BRIDGE, THE PRETTY RECKLESS, AMON AMARTH, EAGLES OF DEATH METAL, HIGHLY SUSPECT, DILLINGER ESCAPE PLAN, IN FLAMES, GOJIRA, IN THIS MOMENT, MOTIONLESS IN WHITE, ALL THAT REMAINS, NOTHING MORE, RIVAL SONS, BEARTOOTH, EVERY TIME I DIE, ATTILA, STARSET, DINOSAUR PILE-UP, I PREVAIL, KYNG, CROBOT, VOLUMES, SYLAR, FIRE FROM THE GODS, AS LIONS, BADFLOWER, GOODBYE JUNE, FRANK CARTER & THE RATTLESNAKES, COVER YOUR TRACKS, THE CHARM THE FURY April 29 & 30, Metropolitan Park STEVE WINWOOD May 5, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ERIC CHURCH May 5, Veterans Memorial Arena BASTILLE May 7, St. Augustine Amphitheatre CIRQUE DU SOLEIL’S OVO Aug. 2-6, Veterans Memorial Arena TIM McGRAW & FAITH HILL Sept. 16, Veterans Memorial Arena DELFEAYO MARSALIS Sept. 29, Riverside Fine Arts Series

LIVE MUSIC CLUBS

AMELIA ISLAND + FERNANDINA ALLEY CAT BEER HOUSE, 316 Centre St., 491-1001 Dan Voll every Wed. John Springer every Thur. Brian Ernst every Fri. LA MANCHA, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646 Miguel Paley 5:30-9 p.m. every Fri.-Sun. Javier Parez every Sun. SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652 King Eddie & Pili Pili 6 p.m. Dec. 14. Tad Jennings Dec. 15.

Josh McGowan Dec. 16. Tad Jennings, Melissa Smith, Davis Turner Dec. 17. South Mouth, JC & Mike 6 p.m. Dec. 18.

Cassidy Leigh Dec. 19. Mark O’Quinn Dec. 20 SURF RESTAURANT, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Katfish Lee 3 p.m. Dec. 15. Bush Doctors 4 p.m. Dec. 20

AVONDALE + ORTEGA

CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music 9 p.m. Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free 9 p.m. every Tue. & Thur. Indie dance 9 p.m. every Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance every Fri. MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200 Live music every Thur.-Sat.

THE BEACHES (All venues are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted)

BLUE TYPHOON, 2309 Beach Blvd., 379-3789 Billy Bowers 5:30 p.m. Dec. 14. Live music most weekends BLUE WATER ISLAND GRILL, 205 First St. N., 249-0083 Live music every weekend BRASS ANCHOR PUB, 2292 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0301 Joe Oliff 8 p.m. Dec. 14. Live music on weekends CASA MARINA HOTEL, 691 First St. N., 270-0025 The Chris Thomas Band Dec. 14 THE COURTYARD, 200 First St., Neptune Beach, 241-1026 Live music 7 p.m. Dec. 14 & 16 CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 Blistur 9:30 p.m. Dec. 16. DJ Hal every Sat. FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & TEQUILA BAR, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 3 the Band 9 p.m. Dec. 15.

Chuck Nash Band 10 p.m. Dec. 16 & 17. Darren Corlew 8:30 p.m. Dec. 18 GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925 Groov 7:30 p.m. every Wed. Murray Goff Fri. Under the Bus every Sat. Gene Nordan 6 p.m. every Sun. HARBOR TAVERN, 160 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, 246-2555 Live music weekends

28 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 14-20, 2016

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815 Ozone Baby 9 p.m. Dec. 17 LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 First St. N., 249-5181 Let’s Ride 10 p.m. Dec. 16. Yamadeo 10 p.m. Dec. 17. Dirty Pete 10 p.m. every Wed. Split Tone every Thur. Chillula every Sun. Be Easy every Mon. Krakajax every Tue. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 Third St. N., 241-5600 Lyons 9 p.m. Dec. 15 MEZZA RESTAURANT & BAR, 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573 Gypsies Ginger every Wed. Mike Shackelford, Steve Shanholtzer every Thur. Mezza Shuffle every Mon. Trevor Tanner Tue. MOJO KITCHEN, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636 Toots Lorraine & The Traffic 10 p.m. Dec. 16 RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877 Billy Bowers 7 p.m. Dec. 21. Live music every Wed.-Sun. SEACHASERS, 831 First St. N., 372-0444 Cowboy Rolex 8 p.m. every Thur.

SOUTHERN GROUNDS & CO., 200 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-2922 Jazz Corner 6 p.m. every Tue. WHISKEY JAX, 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy., 853-5973 Murray Goff 6 p.m. every Wed. ZETA BREWING, 131 First Ave. N., 372-0727 Live music every Thur.-Sat.

Jump-Blues faves TOOTS LORRAINE & THE TRAFFIC play Dec. 16 at Mojo Kitchen, Jax Beach.

CAMDEN COUNTY, GA.

CAPTAIN STAN’S SMOKEHOUSE, 700 Bedell Dr., Woodbine, 912-729-9552 Acoustic music 6:30 p.m. every Sat.

DOWNTOWN

1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N. Mama Blue’s Holiday Hoopla 6:30 p.m. Dec. 15. John Parkerurban’s Joyful Noise Jam & Toy Drive: Parker Urban Band, Bonnie Blue, Kim Reteguiz & The Black Cat Bones, Wild Root Music 8 p.m. Dec. 16. Trail Driver CD Release Party 8 p.m. Dec. 17.

The Spill Canvas 7:30 p.m. Dec. 18 DE REAL TING, 128 W. Adams St., 633-9738 De Lions of Jah 7 p.m. Dec. 16. Live music most weekends DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 DJ Brandon every Thur. DJ NickFresh every Sat. DJ Randall every Mon. DJ Hollywood every Tue. FIONN MacCOOL’S, Jacksonville Landing, 374-1247 Spade McQuade 6 p.m. Dec. 14 & 16. Jimmy Solari Dec. 16. Mikey Clams Dec. 17. Live music every Fri. & Sat. JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 Brent Byrd & the Suitcase Gypsies 9 p.m. Dec. 16 MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Shotgun 10 p.m. every Sat. MAVERICKS LIVE, Jax Landing, 356-1110 Primitive Hard Drive, Emma Moseley Band, Johnny Greenlight 8 p.m. Dec. 16. Joe Buck, DJ Justin every Thur.-Sat. MYTH NIGHTCLUB, 333 E. Bay St., 707-0474 DJs Lady Miaou, Booty Boo, Cry Havoc, Some Dude 9 p.m. Glitz Wed. Q45, live music Wed. EDM every Thur. Eric Rush every Fri. DJ IBay Sat. Bangarang & Crunchay Sun. THE VOLSTEAD, 115 W. Adams St., 414-3171 Swing Dance Sundays 7 p.m.

FLEMING ISLAND

MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999 Felix Chang 9:30 p.m. Dec. 15. Al Torch 9 p.m.

Dec. 16. Scott Elley 9 p.m. Dec. 17. Live music most weekends WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Live music 9 p.m. Dec. 9 & 10. Live music every Thur.-Sun.

INTRACOASTAL

CLIFF’S BAR & GRILL, 3033 Monument Rd., Ste. 2, 645-5162 Bandontherun 8 p.m. Dec. 14. Open mic every Tue. Live music every weekend JERRY’S SPORTS BAR & GRILLE, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766 Don’t Call Me Shirley 7:30 p.m. Dec. 16

MANDARIN

ENZA’S ITALIAN RESTAURANT, 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 109, 268-4458 Brian Iannucci Dec. 14 & 18 IGGY’S SEAFOOD SHACK, 104 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 101, 209-5209 Live music every Fri. & Sat. DJ Greg Wed.

ORANGE PARK + MIDDLEBURG DEE’S MUSIC BAR, 2141 Loch Rane Blvd., Ste. 140, 375-2240 DJ Daddy-O every Tue. THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael on the piano every Tue.-Sat. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Anton LaPlume Dec. 14. DJ Big Mike Dec. 15. Dirty Pete 10 p.m. Dec. 16. Passafire, Clouding Vibes, Five 40 10 p.m.

Dec. 17. Live music every weekend SHARK CLUB, 714 Park Ave., 215-1557 Digital Skyline 9 p.m. Dec. 14. Live music most weekends

PONTE VEDRA

PUSSER’S GRILLE, 816 A1A, 280-7766 Live music Fri. & Sat. TABLE 1, 330 A1A, 280-5515 Gary Starling Jazz Band 7:30 p.m. Dec. 15

RIVERSIDE + WESTSIDE

ACROSS THE STREET, 948 Edgewood Ave. S., 683-4182 Live music weekends BRIXX, 220 Riverside Ave., 300-3928 Live music every Thur. & Fri. THE GARAGE, 2692 Post St., 374-2581 DiCarlo Thompson 5 p.m. Dec. 16

HOBNOB, 220 Riverside Ave., Ste. 10, 513-4272 Live music every Fri. LIMES LIVE, 1265 S. Lane Ave., gobigentertainment.net Flaw, Stayne Thee Angel, Hereafter 8 p.m. Dec. 18 MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave., 388-7807 Marilyn Wright, Sam Tichenor, Amanda Tichenor, Lydia Seale, Chris Plant 7 p.m. Dec. 17 NIGHTHAWKS, 2952 Roosevelt Blvd. Heart Shaped Box 8 p.m. Dec. 17. Live music most weekends RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969 The Devil’s Got a Hold on Me 9 p.m. Dec. 15 RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449 Folk Is People, Strangerwolf, The Rip Currents Dec. 17 UNITY PLAZA, 220 Riverside Ave. Live music every weekend

ST. AUGUSTINE

CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 T.J. Brown 2 p.m., Oh No 7 p.m. Dec. 16. Evan D 2 p.m., Ancient City Keepers 7 p.m. Dec. 17. Vinny Jacobs 2 p.m. Dec. 18 DOS COFFEE & WINE, 300 San Marco Ave., 342-2421 Holloway Family Benefit Show: Dan Andriano, Deadaires 7 p.m. Dec. 16 MARDI GRAS, 123 San Marco Ave., 823-8806 Uncle Eddie & Robin, Beach Grass 9 p.m. Dec. 16. Funk Shui 9 p.m. Dec. 17. Fre Gordon, acoustic open mic 7 p.m. every Sun. Justin Gurnsey, Musicians Exchange 8 p.m. Mon. ORIGINAL CAFE ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311 Griffen House 8:30 p.m. Dec. 18 PLANET SARBEZ, 115 Anastasia Blvd., 342-0632 Vesta Collide, Villain of the Story, Gaffer Project 8 p.m. Dec. 14.

The Sus-Tones 7 p.m. Dec. 17 SHANGHAI NOBBY’S, 10 Anastasia Blvd., 547-2188 Vile Body, No Face, Totally Karol, 86 Hope 9 p.m. Dec. 18. Live music most weekends TEMPO, 16 Cathedral Pl., 342-0286 Douglas Arrington 8 p.m.

Dec. 15. Jax English Salsa Band 6 p.m. Dec. 16 & 18. Jazzy Blue, Bluez Dudez Dec. 17. Open mic 7:30 p.m. every Wed. TRADEWINDS LOUNGE, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Spanky 9 p.m. Dec. 16 & 17. Carrick, Wilson Hunter Band every Wed. JP Driver every Thur. Elizabeth Roth every Sat. Keith Godwin & the Rio Grande Band every Sun. Mark Hart, DVB every Mon. Mark Hart, Those Guys every Tue. Live music every night

SAN MARCO

JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Digdog, Continental, Gov Club 8 p.m. Dec. 14. The Pauses, Deadaires, Flower City Conspiracy Dec. 15. A Not So Silent Night I: In Whispers, New Day, F.I.L.T.H., Mindslip 8 p.m.

Dec. 16. A Not So Silent Night I: Bleeding In Stereo, None Like Us, Soulswitch, Marion Crane 8 p.m. Dec. 17. Candor 7 p.m. Dec. 18. Saliva, The Year of the Locust, The Everyday Losers 8 p.m. Dec. 19. Felly, Gyyps, Tut, Healy, Denver Hall 7 p.m. Dec. 20. Sunghosts, Future Thieves 7 p.m. Dec. 21 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Lisa Kelly, JB Scott Septet 7 p.m. Dec. 16

SOUTHSIDE + BAYMEADOWS

CORNER BISTRO & WINE BAR, 9823 Tapestry Park Circle, 619-1931 Matthew Hall 8 p.m. every Thur.-Sat. GREEK STREET CAFÉ, 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 503-0620 Tavernalive 6 p.m. every Mon. MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955 Live music every Thur.-Sun. WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., 634-7208 Bill Ricci 7 p.m. Dec. 15. Doc Al Band, Lucky Stiff 9:30 p.m. Dec. 16.

Don’t Call Me Shirley 9:30 p.m. Dec. 17. Melissa Smith open mic every Thur. Blues jam every Sun. Country jam every Wed.

SPRINGFIELD + NORTHSIDE

BOSTON’S, 13070 City Station Dr., 751-7499 Shayne Rammler 9 p.m. Dec. 15 MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 15170 Max Leggett Pkwy., 757-8843 Charlie Walker Dec. 15. Anton LaPlume Dec. 16. DiCarlo Thompson Dec. 17. Live music most every weekend SANDOLLAR, 9716 Heckscher Dr., 251-2449 Live music every Fri.-Sun. SHANTYTOWN PUB, 22 W. Sixth St., 798-8222 Live music every weekend

_________________________________________ To list your band’s gig, please send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price, and a contact number to print to Daniel A. Brown, email dbrown@folioweekly.com or by the U.S. Postal Service, 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Events run on a space-available basis. Deadline is at noon every Wednesday for the next Wednesday’s publication.

DECEMBER 14-20, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 29

FOLIO DINING Derby on Park, in the heart of historic 5 Points, conbines the fun of traditional diner fare with an epicurean sense of dining to create meals everyone can enjoy. photo by Dennis Ho

AMELIA ISLAND + FERNANDINA BEACH

29 SOUTH EATS, 29 S. Third St., 277-7919, 29southrestaurant.com. Historic downtown bistro’s Chef Scotty Schwartz serves traditional regional cuisine with a modern twist. $$ L Tu-Sa; D M.-Sa; R Sa THE AMELIA TAVERN, 318 Centre St., 310-6088, theameliatavern.com. Contemporary hand-crafted, locally sourced comfort fare: local shrimp, small/big plates, organic greens, sandwiches. $$ FB TO D M; L & D Tu-Sa; Brunch Su. BEACH DINER, 2006 S. Eighth St., 310-3750, beachdiner. com. Innovative breakfast: Eggs on the Bayou, fish-n-grits; French toast, riders, omelets. Lunch fare: salads, burgers, sandwiches, shrimp & crabmeat salad. $ K TO B R L Daily BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F On the water at Centre Street’s end, it’s Southern hospitality in an upscale atmosphere; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo.com.

F In historic building, family-owned café has worldly fare, made-from-scratch dressings, sauces, desserts, sourcing fresh greens, veggies, seafood. Dine in or al fresco under oak-shaded patio. Microbrew Karibrew Pub has beer brewed onsite, imports. $$ FB K TO R, Su; L Daily, D Tu-Su in season CHEZ LEZAN BAKERY CO., 1014 Atlantic Ave., 491-4663, chezlezanbakery.com. Fresh European-style breads, pastries: croissants, muffins, cakes, pies. $ TO B R L Daily THE CRAB TRAP, 31 N. Second St., 261-4749, ameliacrab trap.com. F Nearly 40 years, family-owned-and-operated.

Fresh local seafood, steaks, specials. HH. $$ FB L D Daily DAVID’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE, 802 Ash St., 310-6049, ameliaislanddavids.com. Steaks, fresh seafood, rack of lamb

DINING DIRECTORY KEY AVERAGE ENTRÉE COST $ $$

$

< $10

$$$

10- 20

$$$$

$

$

20-$35 > $35

ABBREVIATIONS & SPECIAL NOTES BW = Beer/Wine

L = Lunch

FB = Full Bar

D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted Free Folio Weekly Bite Club Event F = Folio Weekly Distribution Spot

K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch

To list your restaurant, call your account manager or call or text SAM TAYLOR, GO Folio Weekly publisher, at 904-860-2465 (email: staylor@folioweekly.com).

30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 14-20, 2016

and ribeye, Chilean sea bass, in an upscale atmosphere. Chef Wesley Cox has a new lounge menu. $$$$ FB D Nightly DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 474313 E. S.R. 200, 310-6945. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. GREEN TURTLE TAVERN, 14 S. Third St., 321-2324, greenturtletavern.com. Legendary hangout in a historic shotgun shack; Chicago-style Vienna beef hot dogs, pub fare, cold beer, bourbon selection, chill vibe. $ FB L D Daily JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddianescafe.com. F Renovated 1887 shotgun house.

Faves: jambalaya, French toast, pancakes, mac & cheese, crêpes. Vegan items. Inside or porch overlooking historic area. $$ BW K TO B L D Daily LA MANCHA, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646. Spanish, Portuguese fare, Brazilian flair. Tapas, seafood, steaks, sangria. Drink specials. AYCE paella Sun. $$$ FB K TO D Nightly LARRY’S SUBS, 474272 S.R. 200, 844-2225. F SEE ORANGE PARK. LECHONERA EL COQUÍ, 232 N. Second St., 432-7545. New Puerto Rican place. Chulleta kan kan (pork chops), Tripletta churosco sandwich, more. $ FB TO L D Tu-Su MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moonriverpizza.net. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Authentic Northern-style pizzas, 20+ toppings, pie/slice. Calzones, salads. $ BW TO L D M-Sa THE MUSTARD SEED CAFÉ, 833 Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Casual organic eatery, juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juices, herbal teas, coffees, daily specials. $$ K TO B L M-Sa NANA TERESA’S BAKE SHOP, 31 S. Fifth St., 277-7977, nanateresa.com. Everything’s made with organic ingredients when possible. Cupcakes, cakes, pies, cheesecakes, cookies, pastries, specialties. $ TO Tu-Su PABLO’S MEXICAN CUISINE, 12 N. Second St., 261-0049, pablosmg1.com. In historic district; authentic Mexican fare: chimichangas, fajitas, burritos, tacos, daily specials, vegetarian. $$ FB K TO D M-Thu; L & D F-Sa THE PATIO PLACE, 416 Ash St., 410-3717, patioplacebistro. com. Bistro/wine bar/crêperie’s menu of global fare uses crêpes: starters, entrées, shareables, desserts. $$ BW TO B L D Tu-Su POINTE RESTAURANT, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabethpointelodge.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. In award-winning inn Elizabeth Pointe Lodge. Seaside dining, open to public. Dine in or out. Hot buffet breakfast daily, full lunch menu. Homestyle soups, specialty sandwiches, salads, desserts. $$$ BW K B L D Daily THE SALTY PELICAN BAR & GRILL, 12 N. Front St., 2773811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F ’16 Boj Winner.

2nd-story outdoor bar. Owners T.J. & Al offer local seafood, fish tacos, Mayport shrimp, po’boys, cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F 2016 BOJ Winner. Oceanfront.

Award-winning handmade crabcakes, fried pickles, fresh seafood. Open-air 2nd floor balcony, playground. $$ FB K L D Daily TASTY’S BURGERS & FRIES, 710 Centre St., 321-0409, tastysamelia.com. In historic district, fresh fast-food alternative. Fresh meats, handcut fries, homemade sauces/ soups, handspun shakes. $ BW K L D Daily T-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. Eighth St., 261-6310. F Family-owned-and-operated 18+ years. Blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L M-Sa TROPICAL SMOOTHIE CAFÉ, 463909 S.R. 200, Ste. 6, Yulee, 468-7099, tropicalsmoothie.com. Flatbreads, sandwiches, wraps. Smoothies: classic, superfoods, supercharged, indulgent. $ TO B L D Daily

DINING DIRECTORY ARLINGTON + REGENCY

DICK’S WINGS, 9119 Merrill Rd., Ste. 19, 745-9300. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1301 Monument Rd., Ste. 5, 724-5802. F SEE ORANGE PARK. SID & LINDA’S SEAFOOD MARKET & RESTAURANT, 12220 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 109, 503-8276. Pick a whole fresh fish, have it cleaned, filleted, cooked to order. Dine in, take out.

Housemade sauces. $$ K TO L D Daily

AVONDALE + ORTEGA

CHOMP CHOMP, 4162 Herschel St., 329-1679. Relocated.

Chef-inspired: The Philadelphia Experiment (sweet pork over arugula), panko-crusted chicken, burgers, Waldorf salad, bahn mi, Southern fried chicken, The Come Up (portabella mushroom, green tomato salsa, almonds). Curry Chomp chips, pasta salad.

HH. $ BW L D Mon.-Sat. THE FOX RESTAURANT, 3580 St. Johns Ave., 387-2669.

Owners Ian and Mary Chase offer fresh fare, homemade desserts. Breakfast all day; signature items: burgers, meatloaf, fried green tomatoes. $$ BW K L D Daily HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, harpoonlouies.net. F Locally owned & operated 20+ years.

American pub. 1/2-lb. burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta. Local beers, HH. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200. F Bite Club. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES. PINEGROVE MARKET & DELI, 1511 PineGrove Ave., 389-8655, pinegrovemarket.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. 40+ years. Burgers, Cubans, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher, USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. Fri. & Sat. fish fry. $ BW TO B L D M-Sa RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaurant orsay.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. French/Southern bistro; local organic ingredients. Steak frites, mussels, pork chops. $$$ FB R, Su; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simplysaras.net. F Down-home fare from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Tu-Sa, B Sa

BAYMEADOWS

AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES. INDIA’S, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajax. com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Authentic cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetables, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L M-Sa; D Nightly LARRY’S SUBS, 8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001, europeanstreet.com. F SEE RIVERSIDE. FAMOUS TOASTERY, 311 N. Third St., 372-0712, famous toastery.com. Corned beef hash, gluten-free pancakes, bacon, omelets, eggs, toast. Wraps, Bloody Marys, mimosas, peach Bellini. $$ FB K TO B L Daily THE FISH COMPANY RESTAURANT, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 12, AB, 246-0123, thefishcojax.com. Bite Club.

Oyster raw bar, fresh local seafood, Mayport shrimp, crab, lobster. Homestyle desserts. Patio; all-day HH Sun. $$ FB K TO L D Daily FLAMING SEAFOOD & SHAO KAO BBQ, 1289 Penman Rd., 853-6398. New place (is it Chinese? Barbecue? Seafood?) serves meats and vegetables, spiced, skewered on bamboo sticks – like Chinese street food. $ BW TO L D Daily FLYING IGUANA Taqueria & Tequila Bar, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680, flyingiguana.com. F Latin American: tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana fare. 100+ tequilas. $ FB TO L D Daily GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925, gustojax.com. Classic Old World Roman cuisine, large Italian menu: homestyle pasta, beef, chicken, fish delicacies; open pizza-tossing kitchen.

Reservations encouraged. $$ FB TO L R D Tu-Su The HASH HOUSE, 610 Third St. S., 422-0644, thelovingcuphashhouse.com. Locally sourced, locally roasted coffees, gluten-free, vegan, vegetarian; no GMOs/ hormones. $ K TO B R L Daily LARRY’S Subs, 657 Third St. N., 247-9620. F SEE O. PARK. MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 1018 Third St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600, mellowmushroom.com. F Bite Club. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Hoagies, gourmet pizzas: Mighty Meaty, vegetarian, Kosmic Karma. 35 tap beers. Nonstop HH. $ FB K TO L D Daily METRO Diner, 1534 3rd St. N., 853-6817. F ’16 BOJ. SEE SAN MARCO. M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-2599, shackburgers.com.

Burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes. Dine in/out. $$ BW L D Daily NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 1585 Third St. N., 458-1390. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE MANDARIN. PARSONS SEAFOOD RESTAURANT, 1451 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 595-5789, parsonsseafoodrestaurant.com. The landmark place moved; still serving local seafood dishes, sides, specialty fare. $$ FB K TO L D Tu-Su POE’S TAVERN, 363 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7637, poestavern.com. Gastropub, 50+ beers, burgers, fish tacos, Edgar’s Drunken Chili, daily fish sandwich special. $$ FB K L D Daily RAGTIME TAVERN SEAFOOD & GRILL, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F 30+ years, iconic seafood place. Blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily HH, brunch Sun. $$ FB L D Daily

CHAD RATTANACHOMPHOO

GRILL ME!

Lanna Thai Sushi

2 Independent Dr., Downtown (The Landing) Born in: Thailand Years in the Biz: 31 Fave Restaurant: Mom's cooking Fave Cuisine Style: Thai Fave Ingredients: Fresh tuna Ideal Meal: "Love."

Will Not Cross My Lips: Will try anything once.

Insider's Secret: Heart and good feelings Celeb Sighting (at my place): Happy people!

METRO DINER, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., 425-9142. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE SAN MARCO. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 11030 Baymeadows Rd., 260-2791. 2016 Best of Jax Winner.

SEE MANDARIN. THE WELL WATERING HOLE, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9, 737-7740, thewellwateringhole.com. Local craft beers, glass/ bottle wines. Meatloaf sandwich, pulled Peruvian chicken, vegan black bean burgers. $$ BW K TO L M-F; D Tu-Sa TEQUILAS, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 101, 363-1365, tequilasjacksonville.com. New Mexican place has casa-style dishes made with fresh, spicy hot ingredients. Vegetarian option. Top-shelf tequilas, drink specials. $$ FB K TO L D Daily WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 135, 634-7208, whiskeyjax.com. Gastropub. Craft beers, gourmet burgers, handhelds, street fare tacos, signature plates, whiskey. HH. $$ FB L D F-Su; D Nightly

BEACHES

(Venues are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0002, alspizza.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. NY-style gourmet pizzas, baked dishes. 28+ years. All day HH M-Thu. $ FB K TO L D Daily ANGIE’S SUBS, 1436 Beach Blvd., 246-2519. ANGIE’S Grom Subs, 204 Third Ave. S., 241-3663. Fresh ingredients, 25+ years. Huge salads, blue-ribbon iced tea. Grom has Sun. brunch, no alcohol. $ K BW TO L D Daily BEACH DINER, 501 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 249-6500. SEE AMELIA. BEACH HUT CAFÉ, 1281 Third St. S., 249-3516. 28+ years.

Full breakfast menu all day (darn good grits); hot plate specials Mon.-Fri. $ K TO B R L Daily CRUISERS GRILL, 319 23rd Ave. S., 270-0356, cruisersgrill. com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Locally owned & operated 20+ years. Half-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, big salads, award-winning cheddar fries, sangria. $ BW K TO L D Daily

SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 1018 Third St. N., 372-4456, saltlifefoodshack.com. Specialty items, tuna poke bowl, fresh sushi, Ensenada tacos, local fried shrimp. $$ FB K TO L D Daily SEACHASERS, 831 First St. N., 372-0444, seachasers.com.

Four areas: First Street Bar, Music Room, Beach Bar, Dining Room. Daily HH. In or on patio. $$ FB L D Daily SLIDERS SEAFOOD GRILLE & OYSTER BAR, 218 First St., NB, 246-0881, slidersseafoodgrille.com. Beach-casual spot. Faves: Fresh fish tacos, gumbo. Key lime pie, ice cream sandwiches. Brunch Sun. $$ FB K L Sa/Su; D Nightly SURFWICHES Sandwich Shop, 1537 Penman Rd., 241-6996, surfwiches.com. Craft sandwich shop. Yankee-style steak sandwiches, hoagies, all made to order. $ BW TO K L D Daily THIS CHICK’S KITCHEN, 353 Sixth Ave. S., 778-5404, thischickskitchen.com. Farm-to-table restaurant serving healthful, locally sourced clean meals. Gluten-free, vegan, vegetarian options. $$ TO L D W-Sa V PIZZA, 528 First St. N., 853-6633, vpizza.com. Traditional Neapolitana artisan pizza from Naples – Italy, not Florida, made with fresh ingredients. $$ FB TO L D Daily

CAMDEN COUNTY, GEORGIA

CAPTAIN STAN’S SMOKEHOUSE, 700 Bedell Dr., Woodbine, 912-729-9552 All kinds of barbecue, sides, hot dogs, burgers, desserts. Dine in or out on picnic tables. $$ FB K TO L & D Tu-Sa MALSONS BBQ, 1330 Boone Ave., Kingsland, 912-882-4355.

This is real barbecue – smokers onsite. Burgers, wings, plates, ribs, sausages, beans. Dine in or out. $ K TO L & D Daily SALT.PEPPER.THYME, 105 N. Lee St., Kingsland, 912-5100444, saltpepperthyme.net. Varied American Southern fare.

Dine in or out. $$ BW K TO L W; L & D Th-S STEFFENS RESTAURANT, 550 S. Lee St., Kingsland, 912-729-5355, steffensrestaurant.com. Southern scratchmade menu. $-$$ K TO B, L & D M-Sa; B & L Su

BITE-SIZED

BARBECUE IS ON

LOCK AT THE BANK

Ne Do New Downtown nto n joint bbrings its BEST GAME to charred meat, sweets and more THE BANK BAR-B-Q & BAKERY DOWNTOWN will catch your eye with its big windows, shiny chrome and bright blue awning. As I walked in, I was reminded of an old-fashioned diner barbecue joint though, as a millennial, I’m too young for malt-shop memories.

Grab a menu and pick your poison. When you approach the counter, think Chipotle style: Order from the right side and walk left toward the register.

Delicious items beckon through the glass; give your order to the barbecue man behind the counter.

Like any good barbecue joint, the menu sports the usual, like pulled pork ($8.99) and half-chicken ($8.99), along with sides and salads.

They also do breakfast entrées like the Long Term Breakfast ($5.25) that has three pancakes, one egg, and bacon or sausage patties. Breakfast ends at 10:30 a.m., so make sure you’re the early bird who gets the worm, ahem, I mean, the pancakes.

There are some interesting items on the menu at The Bank. The two that got our attention? The Burnt Ends ($10.49) and the Pig Wings ($8.99) — interesting enough that we had to ask what they were — spoiler alert — turns out that what they both are is delicious.

BITE-SIZED THE BANK BAR-B-Q & BAKERY

331 W. Forsyth St., Downtown, 388-1600, thebankbbq.com.

The Burnt Ends are the best part of a wellseasoned, well-cooked brisket. Apparently, only the best barbecue restaurants serve this particular delicacy, and I’ve been missing out. But no more!

While at $10.99, Burnt Ends is the most expensive thing on the menu, it might just be the best thing.

I haven’t tried everything, though, so I can’t be sure, but we definitely wanted a second order.

Each burnt end bite is like sneaking a piece right off the grill, getting the good bite, waaay before everyone else!

The Pig Wings are delicious, and strange, because it’s like you’re eating a giant chicken wing made of pork. I’ll be honest, I’m not sure how they do it. It’s like pork tenderloin in chicken wing format that’s just as tasty as a juicy tenderloin. They lightly fry it, too, so it has a nice golden crispy coating.

Throw your choice of sweet or spicy barbecue sauce on top and — ta-da! — couldn’t taste better.

Two sides are included with each entrée and there’s a lot to choose from here. We went with our top four: mac and cheese, bar b-q skins, collard greens and sweet potato soufflé. I didn’t know what to expect of the bar b-q skins. If you’re also in the dark: They’re actually pork rinds, and dang decent ones, too. The collard greens were tasty — add a dash of spicy vinegar and we’re in business. Of course, sweet potato soufflé was the favorite: a cup of creamy sweet potato with marshmallows on top.

True to its name, The Bank has a bakery, too.

At dessert time, a decadent piece of chocolate cake called my name. The icing was on an almost-ganache level, and for that they have my undying support. They also have beautiful cakes (some you can see in the window) and pastries.

This is definitely a lunch spot, because they close at 2:30 p.m. — but there’s take out available until 5:30, so dinner is done, dude. You may think it’s just another barbecue joint, but they’ve managed to make pigs fly, so I recommend stopping by for a bite.

Brentley Stead biteclub@folioweekly.com DECEMBER 14-20, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 31

DINING DIRECTORY PINT-SIZED

An overview i off winter’s i t ’ BEST BUBBLIES

SUDS FOR THE SEASONS WHILE WINTER WARMERS, PORTERS AND stouts tend to dominate the winter beer market, brewers around the world have created several styles specifically for the chilly season. From Belgian dark strong ales and winter lagers to English old ales and the American “anything goes” approach to seasonal brews, there’s plenty to choose from in winter’s blustery days.

In Belgium, dark strong ales have been around for centuries, gaining popularity in the early 1800s when the country seceded from the Netherlands.

Trappist monasteries began brewing the highalcohol, rich and fruity beers sometimes called quadruples. This style features aromas of dark fruits and dark candy sugars and often alcohol content in excess of 9 percent. The flavors echo the bouquet and include low hop bitterness and a healthy dose of clove essence.

One of the most sought-after beers globally is a dark strong ale brewed by Trappist monks at Abbey of Saint Sixtus in Westvleteren, Belgium. It’s made mostly for the monks’ consumption, but a small quantity of the heady brew is released to the public — but you gotta go to the Abbey to get it.

This policy has made Westvleteren 12 a rare beer indeed — it’s rated the best beer in the world by users of RateBeer.com.

English old ales, also known as stock ales, were usually mixed with younger, sweeter ales in the pubs of London and other British cities.

Because ales required aging, breweries often transferred the beer from fermentation tanks to oak barrels. This practice gave the beer wine-like characteristics, such as woodiness and sometimes a bit of funkiness. Generally, old ales are malty with a balanced hops bitterness and exhibit caramel and dark fruit flavors. Some examples of the style may also take on a tart tang from bacteria in the wood barrels.

American winter beers run the gamut from dark strong ales to hops-forward IPAs. One of the earliest domestic holiday ales is Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale. First brewed in 1981, this juicy IPA has herbaceous citrus and pine flavors emanating from fresh hops used in lieu of the dry hops used in most beers. Another example of a winter IPA is Accumulation White IPA from New Belgium Brewing. The addition of wheat to this hop bomb gives the beer a hazy, white appearance and smooths out its otherwise bitter character.

Try some of these winter brews available locally:

PINT-SIZED

SAMUEL ADAMS WINTER LAGER From one of the oldest craft breweries in the United States comes this amber lager, with the warming aromas of cinnamon and ginger. Expect sweet malts and a hint of citrus when you toast mankind with this holiday winner.

ST. BERNARDUS ABT 12 Brewed just down the road from St. Sixtus, this Trappist ale is very similar to the famed Westvleteren 12. Indeed, at one time St. Bernardus brewed the “Westy.” After its contract expired in 1992, St. Bernardus began brewing a similar beer slightly more carbonated — with a hint of a bubblegum flavor.

NORTH COAST OLD STOCK ALE Highly alcoholic at more than 11 percent ABV, this old ale is a well-hopped, American version of English old ale.

Particularly suited to aging, NCOSA mellows and increases in complexity after a few years.

Marc Wisdom marc@folioweekly.com 32 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 14-20, 2016

DOWNTOWN

AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 21 W. Church St., 665-7324. 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 125, 446-3119, akelsdeli.com. F NYC-style deli. Fresh subs, sandwiches, burgers, gyros, wraps, vegetarian, breakfast, signature dressings. $ K TO B L M-F THE BANK BAR B Q & BAKERY, 331 W. Forsyth St., 388-1600, thebankbbq.com. 28 years’ experience means barbecue done right. Onsite bakery has specialty cakes. $ TO L & D M-F CANDY APPLE CAFÉ & COCKTAILS, 400 N. Hogan, 353-9717, thecandyapplecafeandcocktails.com. Chef-driven Southern/ French cuisine, sandwiches, entrées. $$ FB K L Daily; D Tu-Sa CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth St., 356-8282, casadoraitalian. com. F Chef Sam Hamidi serves Italian fare, 40+ years: veal, seafood, pizza. Homemade salad dressing. $ BW K L M-F; D M-Sa FIONN MACCOOL’S IRISH PUB & RESTAURANT, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1547, fionnmacs.com. Casual dining, uptown Irish atmosphere; fish & chips, Guinness lamb stew, black-andtan brownies. $$ FB K L D Daily INDOCHINE, 21 E. Adams St., Ste. 200, 598-5303, indochine jax.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Thai, Southeast Asian cuisine. Signature dishes: chicken Satay, soft shell crab; mango, sticky rice dessert. $$ FB TO L D M-F; D Tu-Sa LANNA THAI SUSHI, Jax Landing, Ste. 222, 425-2702, lannathaijax.com. Fresh herbs, spices, sushi, shrimp, specials.

HH. $$ FB K TO L M-F; D Nightly OLIO MARKET, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com.

F Scratch soups, sandwiches. Duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L M-F; D F & Sa URBAN GRIND COFFEE COMPANY, 45 W. Bay, Ste. 102, 866-395-3954, 516-7799, urbangrind.coffee. Locally roasted whole bean brewed coffees, espressos, pastries, smoothies, bagels. Chicken/tuna salad, sandwiches. WiFi. $ B L M-F. URBAN GRIND EXPRESS, 50 W. Laura, 516-7799. SEE ABOVE. ZODIAC BAR & GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283, thezodiacbarandgrill.com. 16+ years. Mediterranean cuisine, American fare, paninis, vegetarian dishes. Daily lunch buffet.

Espressos, hookahs. HH M-F $ FB L M-F; D W-Sa

FLEMING ISLAND

DICK’S WINGS, 1803 East-West Parkway, 375-2559. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 1915 East-West Parkway, 541-0009. F SEE RIVERSIDE. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999. F Bite Club. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES. TAPS Bar & Grill, 1605 C.R. 220, Ste. 145, 278-9421, taps publichouse.com. 2016 BOJ Winner. 50+ premium domestic, import tap beer. Burgers, sandwiches, entrées. $$ FB K L D Daily WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteys fishcamp.com. F Real fish camp. Gator tail, freshwater catfish, daily specials, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar. Come by boat, bike or car. $ FB K TO L Tu-Su; D Nightly

INTRACOASTAL WEST

AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES. DICK’S WINGS, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 32, 223-0115. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. GERMAN SCHNITZEL HAUS, 13475 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 40, 221-9700, germanjax.com. Authentic German/fusion fare: schnitzels, plus bratwurst, stroganoff, käsesspätzle. 13 German beers in bottles, on tap. Bar bites, cocktails. Outdoor BierGarten.

HH Tu-Thur. $$ FB L & D Tu-Su LARRY’S, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980. F SEE ORANGE PARK SURFWICHES SANDWICH SHOP, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 29, 559-5301. SEE BEACHES.

MANDARIN + NW ST. JOHNS

AKEL’S DELI, 12926 Granbay Pkwy. W., 880-2008. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES. BARKING SPIDER PUB, 10092 San Jose Blvd., 260-3102.

Casual laid-back hang. Bar fare: hot dogs, chicken fingers, Philly cheesesteaks, burgers, cheese sticks. HH. $ FB D Nightly BEACH DINER, 11362 San Jose Blvd., 683-0079. SEE AMELIA. CRUISERS, 5613 San Jose Blvd., 737-2874. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES. DICK’S WINGS, 100 Marketside Ave., 829-8134. 965 S.R. 16, 825-4540. 1610 University Blvd. W., 448-2110. 10391 Old St. Augustine, 880-7087. 2016 Best of Jax Winner.

SEE ORANGE PARK. ENZA’S ITALIAN RESTAURANT, 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 109, 268-4458, enzas.net. Family-owned; Italian cuisine, veal, seafood, specials. $$$ FB K TO D Tu-Su FIRST COAST Deli & Grill, 6082 St. Augustine Rd., 733-7477.

Pancakes, bacon, sandwiches, burgers, wings. $ K TO B L Daily JAX DINER, 5065 St. Augustine Rd.,739-7070. New spot serves local produce, meats, breads, seafood. $ TO B L Daily METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. F 2016 BOJ Winner. Organic soups, baked items, sandwiches, prepared foods. Juice, smoothie, coffee bar. All-natural beer/wine. $ BW TO K B L D Daily TAPS BAR & GRILL, 2220 C.R. 210 W., Ste. 314, 819-1554.

2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE FLEMING ISLAND. V PIZZA, 12601 San Jose Blvd., 647-9424. SEE SAN MARCO. WHOLE FOODS MARKET, 10601 San Jose, Ste. 22, 288-1100, wholefoodsmarket.com. Prepared-food dept. 80+ items, full & self-service bars: hot, salad, soup, dessert. Pizza, sushi, sandwich stations. Grapes, Hops & Grinds bar. $$ BW K TO B L D Daily

ORANGE PARK

DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 6055 Youngerman Cir., 778-1101, dickswingsandgrill.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner.

NASCAR-themed restaurant serves 365 varieties of wings, plus half-pound burgers, ribs, salads. $ FB K TO L D Daily

THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959, hilltop-club.com.

Southern fine dining. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. Extensive bourbon selection. $$$ FB D Tu-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 165, 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 15, 272-3553. 5733 Roosevelt, 446-9500. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove, 284-7789, larryssubs.com. F Larry’s piles ’em high, serves ’em fast; 36+ years. Hot & cold subs, soups. Some Larry’s serve breakfast. $ K TO B L D Daily METRO DINER, 2034 Kingsley Ave., 375-8548. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611, road houseonline.net. Sandwiches, wings, burgers, quesadillas for 35+ years. 75+ imported beers. $ FB L D Daily THE URBAN BEAN COFFEEHOUSE CAFÉ, 2023 Park Ave., 541-4938, theurbanbeancoffeehouse.com. Locally-owned&-operated. Coffee, espresso, smoothies, teas. Omelets, bagels, paninis, flatbread, hummus, desserts. $$ K TO B L D Daily

PONTE VEDRA BEACH

AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A, 543-1494. F 2016 BOJ Winner.

SEE BEACHES. BEACH DINER, 880 A1A N., Ste. 2, 273-6545. SEE AMELIA. LARRY’S SUBS, 830 A1A N., Ste. 6, 273-3993. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 340 Front St., Ste. 700, 513-8422. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE SAN MARCO. TRASCA & CO. EATERY, 155 Tourside Dr., Ste. 1500, 395-3989, trascaandco.com. Handcrafted Italian-inspired sandwiches, craft beers (many locals), craft coffees. $$ BW TO L R D Daily

RIVERSIDE, 5 PTS + WESTSIDE

13 GYPSIES, 887 Stockton St., 389-0330, 13gypsies.com.

2016 Best of Jax Winner. Authentic Mediterranean cuisine: chorizo, tapas, blackened cod, pork skewers, coconut mango curry chicken. Breads from scratch. $$ BW L D Tu-Sa, R Sa AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., Ste. 201, 388-8384. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES. BLACK SHEEP, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, blacksheep5points.com.

2016 BOJ. New American, Southern; local source ingredients.

Specials, rooftop bar. HH. $$$ FB R Sa & Su; L M-F; D Nightly BREW FIVE POINTS, 1024 Park St., 714-3402, brewfive points.com. F Local craft beers, espresso, coffees, wine.

Rotating drafts, 75+ can craft beers, tea. Waffles, toasts, desserts, coffees. $$ BW K B L Daily; late nite Tu-Sa BRIXX WOOD FIRED PIZZA, 220 Riverside Ave., 300-3928, brixxpizza.com. Pizzas, pastas, soups. Gluten-free options.

Daily specials, buy-one-get-one pizzas 10 p.m.-close. $$ FB K TO L D Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412, cornertaco.com.

Made-from-scratch “Mexclectic street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free, vegetarian options. $ BW L D Tu-Su CUMMER CAFÉ, Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummer.org. 2016 BOJ Winner.

Light lunch, quick bites, locally roasted coffee, espresso-based beverages, homemade soups, sandwiches, gourmet desserts, daily specials. Dine in or in gardens. $ BW K L D Tu; L W-Su DERBY ON PARK, 1068 Park St., 379-3343, derbyonpark. net. New American cuisine, upscale retro, historic building.

Oak Street Toast, shrimp & grits, lobster bites, 10-oz. gourmet burger. Dine inside or out. $$ FB TO Brunch Sa/Su; B, L D Tu-Su EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 2753 Park St., 384-9999. 130+ import beers, 20 on tap. Sandwiches. Outside dining at some EStreets. $ BW K L D Daily FIVE POINTS TAVERN, 1521 Margaret St., 549-5063, fivepointstavern.com. New American cosmopolitan place serves chef-curated dishes in a relaxed environment. $$ FB TO L & D Tu-Su GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. F Juice bar uses certified organic fruits, veggies. Artisanal cheeses, 300 craft, import beers, 50 organic wines, produce, meats, vitamins, herbs, wraps, sides, sandwiches. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS ASIAN Street Fare, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. 2016 BOJ Winner. Authentic dishes from mobile stalls: BBQ pork char sui, beef haw fun, Hawkers baos, chow faan, grilled Hawker skewers. $ BW TO L D Daily HOBNOB, 220 Riverside Ave., Ste. 110, 513-4272, hobnob withus.com. Unity Plaza. Global inspiration, local intention – ahi poke tuna, jumbo lump crab tacos. $$ FB TO R L D Daily IL DESCO, 2665 Park St., 290-6711, ildescojax.com.

Authentic Italian cuisine; wood-fired pizzas, pasta, baked Italian dishes, raw bar, spaghetti tacos. Daily HH. $$-$$$ FB K TO L D Daily JOHNNY’S Deli & Grille, 474 Riverside Ave., 356-8055. F Casual; made-to-order sandwiches, wraps, breakfast. $ TO B L M-Sa KNEAD BAKESHOP, 1173 Edgewood Ave. S., 634-7617. Locally owned, family-run. Made-from-scratch creations: pastries, artisan breads, savory pies, specialty sandwiches, soups. $ TO B L Tu-Su LARRY’S SUBS, 1509 Margaret, 674-2794. 7895 Normandy, 781-7600. 8102 Blanding, 779-1933. F SEE ORANGE PARK. LITTLE JOE’S Café, 245 Riverside Ave., Ste. 195, 791-3336.

Riverview café. Soups, signature salad dressings. $ TO B L M-F METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., 999-4600. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. M SHACK, 1012 Margaret St., 423-1283. SEE BEACHES. RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Local-centric bar food: boiled peanuts, hummus, chili, cheese plate, pork sliders, nachos, herbivore items. $ D Nightly SOUTHERN ROOTS Filling Station, 1275 King St., 513-4726, southernrootsjax.com. 2016 BOJ Winner. Fresh vegan fare; local, organic ingredients. Specials, on bread, local greens/rice, change daily. Sandwiches, coffees, teas. $ Tu-Su SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside Ave., Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushicafejax.com. F 2016 BOJ. Monster, Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll. Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. Inside/patio. $$ BW L D Daily

TAMARIND THAI, 1661 Riverside Ave., Ste. 123, 329-3180.

SEE DOWNTOWN.

ST. AUGUSTINE

AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F 2016 BOJ. SEE BEACHES. CRUISERS GRILL, 3 St. George St., 824-6993. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES. DICK’S WINGS, 4010 U.S. 1 S., 547-2669. 2016 BOJ. SEE ORANGE PARK. THE FLORIDIAN, 72 Spanish St., 829-0655, thefloridian staug.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Updated Southern fare; fresh, local ingredients from area farms. Vegetarian, gluten-free option. Signature fried green tomato bruschetta, blackened fish cornbread stack; grits w/shrimp/fish/tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D W-M GAS FULL SERVICE Restaurant, 9 Anastasia, Ste. C, 217-0326. Changing menu; fresh, local, homemade. Meatloaf, veggie/traditional burgers, seafood, steaks; seasonal, daily specials, made-from-scratch desserts. $$ BW K TO L D Tu-Sa GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F 33+ years. Varied urban cuisine menu changes twice daily. Signature: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. $$ FB R Su; L D Daily MARDI GRAS SPORTS BAR, 123 San Marco Ave., 347-3288, mardibar.com. Wings, nachos, shrimp, chicken, Phillys, sliders, soft pretzels. $$ FB TO L D Daily MBQUE, 604 Anastasia Blvd., 484-7472. Southern-style.

Milkshakes, kale salad. Housemade rubs, sauces. Platters, ribs, brisket, pork, chicken, sausage. $$ BW K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040. F Bite Club. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES. O’LOUGHLIN PUB, 6975 A1A S., 429-9715. Family-owned-andoperated. Authentic fish & chips, shepherd’s pie, corned beef & cabbage, bangers & mash, duck wings. $$ FB K TO L D Daily SALT LIFE Food Shack, 321 A1A Beach, 217-3256. SEE BEACHES. METRO DINER, 1000 S. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 758-3323. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Serving dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. SHANGHAI NOBBY’S, 10 Anastasia Blvd., 547-2188. Cubanstyle, Philly cheesesteak sandwiches. $$ FB

SAN MARCO + SOUTHBANK

BEACH DINER, 1965 San Marco Blvd., 399-1306. SEE AMELIA. THE BEARDED PIG SOUTHERN BBQ & BEER GARDEN, 1224 Kings Ave., 619-2247, thebeardedpigbbq.com. 2016 BOJ. Barbecue joint Southern style: brisket, pork, chicken, sausage, beef; veggie platters. $$ BW K TO Daily BISTRO AIX, 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox.com.

F Mediterranean/French inspired menu changes seasonally.

250+ wines. Wood-fired oven baked, grilled specialties: pizza, pasta, risotto, steaks, seafood. Hand-crafted cocktails, specialty drinks. Dine outside. HH M-F. $$$ FB L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 398-9500.

SEE RIVERSIDE. FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusionsushijax.com. F Upscale; fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu, seafood. $$ K L D Daily INDOCHINE, 1974 San Marco Blvd., 503-7013. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE DOWNTOWN. KITCHEN ON SAN MARCO, 1402 San Marco Blvd., 396-2344, kitchenonsanmarco.com. Gastropub serves local, national craft beers, specialty cocktails. Seasonal menu, with fresh, locally sourced ingredients. $$ FB R Su; L D Daily METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metrodiner. com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Original upscale diner in a historic 1930s-era building. Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, soups.

This one serves dinner nightly. $$ B R L D Daily PIZZA PALACE Restaurant & Pizzeria, 1959 San Marco Blvd., 399-8815, pizzapalacejax.com. F Family-owned-&-operated; spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, ravioli, lasagna, parmigiana. Dine outside. HH. $$ BW K TO L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco Blvd., 398-3005, tavernasan marco.com. Chef Sam Efron’s authentic Italian; tapas, woodfired pizza. Seasonal local produce, meats. Craft beer (some local), cocktails, award-winning wine. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily V PIZZA, 1406 Hendricks Ave., 527-1511, vpizza.com. True artisan Neapolitana pizzas, fresh ingredients. $$ FB to L D Daily

SOUTHSIDE + TINSELTOWN

ALHAMBRA Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. Open 50 years. Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus. Reservations. $$ FB D Tu-Su The CHATTY CRAB, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138C, 888-0639, chattycrab.com. Chef Dana Pollard’s raw oysters, Nawlins low country boil, po’ boys, 50¢ wing specials. $$ FB K TO L D Daily DICK’S Wings, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., 619-0954. 2016 BOJ. SEE ORANGE PARK EUROPEAN Street Café, 5500 Beach, 398-1717. SEE RIVERSIDE. GREEK STREET CAFÉ, 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Ste. 106, 503-0620, greekstreetcafe.com. Fresh, authentic, modern; Greek owners. Gyros, spanakopita, dolmades, falafel, nachos.

Award-winning wines. $$ BW K TO L D M-Sa LARRY’S Subs, 3611 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F SEE ORANGE PARK. MARIANAS GRINDS, 11380 Beach Blvd., Ste. 10, 206-612-6596. Pacific Islander fare, chamorro culture. Soups, stews, fitada, beef oxtail, katden pika; empanadas, lumpia, chicken relaguen, BBQ-style ribs, chicken. $$ TO B L D Tu-Su MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955. F Bite Club. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES. M SHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000. SEE BEACHES. OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr., 900-7730, ovinte.com.

Italy, Spain, Mediterranean. Small plates, tapas, charcuterie: ceviche fresco, pappardelle bolognese, lobster ravioli.

240-bottle/wines, 75/glass; craft spirits. $$ FB R, Su; D Nightly TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Ct., 854-0426, tavernayamas.com. F Bite Club. Charbroiled kabobs, seafood, desserts. Greek wines, daily HH. Bellydancing. $$ FB K TO L D Daily TOSSGREEN, 4375 Southside, Ste. 12, 619-4356. 4668 Town Crossing Dr., Ste. 105, 686-0234. Salads, burritos, bowls; fruit, veggies, chicken, sirloin, shrimp, tofu. $$ K TO L D Daily

DINING DIRECTORY SPRINGFIELD + NORTHSIDE

ANDY’S GRILL, 1810 W. Beaver St., 354-2821, jaxfarmers market.com. Jax Farmers Market. Local, regional, international produce. Breakfast, sandwiches, snacks, drinks. $ B L D Mon.-Sat. BARZ LIQUORS & FISH CAMP, 9560 Heckscher Dr., 251-3330. Authentic fish camp, biker-friendly, American-owned.

Package store. $ FB L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 12400 Yellow Bluff Rd., 619-9828.

450077 S.R. 200, 879-0993. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. HOLA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1001 N. Main St., 356-3100, holamexicanrestaurant.com. F Authentic fajitas, burritos, specials, enchiladas, more. HH; sangria. BW K TO L D M-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 12001 Lem Turner Rd., 764-9999. SEE ORANGE PARK. MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 15170 Max Leggett Pkwy., 757-8843. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES.

CHEFFED-UP

CONFIT,

OUI, OUI! Add SOPHISTICATION to home cooking with this simple technique GREAT COOKING IS 100 PERCENT ABOUT technique. Over the past few months, I’ve explained several basic cooking techniques, emphasizing that the proper execution of these techniques results in ridiculously delicious eats.

In addition to the basics, there are many specialty techniques that professional cooks employ. Most are not really practical for the home cook, at least not on a regular basis.

However, with a little streamlining, they can make for a fun project.

The ones that come immediately to mind have to do with charcuterie. Yeah, I’m talking sausages, pâtés, terrines, confits, etc. The main objectives of charcuterie are to preserve and transform lesser quality meats into sublime treasures. Most involve a large investment of time, specialty equipment, skill and passion, but some are quite easy and can be performed at home with just a little attention to detail.

The confit technique is one of those esoteric-sounding French terms that’s widely misunderstood by most foodies. Confit at its most basic is simply a way to preserve a product. Most of y’all likely associate it with duck. Yes, DUCK CONFIT! Even writing the name makes me drool. Definitely on my Top 10 list of the most incredibly sumptuous dishes ever created.

The confit technique utilizes preservation techniques and low and slow cooking to tenderize products by gradually breaking down the cell structure. The process for duck legs begins with a quick cure; our friend “salt” is the star of this sequence.

Other seasonings and aromatics can also be used. This cure can take anywhere from a couple hours to a couple days.

Next, brush off any whole spices and excess cure and submerge the duck in melted fat. This is like a hot tub for the duck, a duck sauna, a duck spa day, just hold the facial. Gosh, the lucky ducky, I’m jealous.

Anyway, the cooking temperature should be around 250°-300°F and the cooking should last about six to eight hours. The result, well — let’s just say it beats getting my two front teeth for Christmas. But, once again, it’s a big pain for the home cook. Just finding duck legs is a project and what do

you do with all the extra duck fat (besides eating it with a spoon)? Fortunately, other proteins can benefit from this technique, as well as vegetables.

So here’s a streamlined version that uses very little fat. We’re going to Chef-up pork butt and make the best carnitas ever!

CHEFFED-UP

CHEF BILL’S PORK CARNITAS Ingredients • 3 pound pork butt, cut into • 2-inch pieces • 2 onions, cut into sixths • 6 garlic cloves, lightly smashed • 1/2 orange, quartered • 1 lime, quartered • 1 lemon, quartered • 1 tbsp. chipotle powder • 1 tsp. cinnamon • 2 tsp. coriander • 3 bay leaves • 2 tbsp. salt • Vegetable oil to cover

Directions 1. Mix the chipotle, cinnamon, coriander ••and salt. Toss the pork pieces with the ••seasoning and allow to cure for ••several hours.

2. Place the cured pork in a baking dish just ••big enough for the pork to fit snugly, with ••sides high enough to avoid overspill.

3. Snuggle in the onions and garlic.

4. Squeeze the juice from the fruits and ••snuggle them in as well.

5. Add the vegetable oil, just enough to ••cover the pork. Wrap with foil and bake ••at 275°F ••for three to four hours, or until very tender.

6. Cool, strain and shred mixing in some of ••the drained fat.

7. Spread out and broil until crispy on the top.

Until we cook again,

Chef Bill Thompson cheffedup@folioweekly.com ____________________________________ Contact Chef Bill Thompson, the owner of the Amelia Island Culinary Academy in Fernandina Beach, at cheffedup@folioweekly. com to find inspiration and get you Cheffed Up! DECEMBER 14-20, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 33

PETS LOOKIN’ FOR LOVE FOLIO

FOLIO LIVING

W E E K LY

PET

LOVERS’

GUIDE

Holiday shopping ideas from local spots that GIVE as good as they GET

DEAR DAVI

GIVE A LITTLE, GIVE A

LOT

Dear Davi, Santa made his list and he’s coming to town! Any gift ideas for bringing joy to pets, naughty or nice?

Evergreen the Elf Evergreen, Every pet deserves some holiday cheer — even the ones that leave puddles in the hall. Tell Santa to shop local for unique gifts. These homegrown storefronts carry a variety of quality goods from companies who give back, too.

BARK ON PARK 1021 PARK ST., RIVERSIDE, 356-4530, THEBARKBOUTIQUE.COM Orbee Ball by Planet Dog • Cute as a planet, tough as an asteroid. This ball’s soft enough to chew, but durable. Another plus: It’s mint-flavored!

Giving Back: The Planet Dog Foundation supports dog organizations that embrace and save people’s lives.

Toppl Treat Toy by West Paw Design • This puzzle toy traps treats and tips over to keep dogs, like me, entertained and challenged.

Giving Back: This company donates pet products to humane societies and shelters around the country and helps raise awareness for animal health studies.

Jax & Bones Rope Toys by Dog & Company These eco-friendly toys are designed to unravel and become dental floss, so dogs have fun while getting a good teeth cleaning.

Giving Back: A portion of each sale is donated to help homeless animals find their forever home.

EARTH PETS NATURAL PET MARKET 11740 SAN JOSE BLVD., MANDARIN, 677-4429 Lupine Collars • The super-strong nylon collars are stylish and guaranteed to last — even if chewed. Featuring snazzy, colorful designs, there’s a collar for every canine or cat.

Giving Back: Lupine supports efforts that better the lives of canine companions.

Pawfections Bakery Treats • These baked treats are made locally with quality ingredients — all natural, no preservatives and no chemicals.

RETHREADED 820 BARNETT ST., DOWNTOWN, 438-8109, RETHREADED.COM This nonprofit was founded to provide jobs for women escaping addiction, violence and human trafficking.

Dog Chew Toy • Toys are made from upcycled cotton T-shirts by an employed survivor at Rethreaded.

Organic Catnip Toy • Adorable fish, stuffed with cotton and fresh homegrown catnip, in a variety of patterns and colors, from upcycled upholstery fabric. Perfect for the perfect cat.

Dog Biscuits • Crafted by Women’s Bean Project, all-natural biscuits are made from six simple ingredients.

SALTY PAWS HEALTHY PET MARKET 677 ATLANTIC BLVD., ATLANTIC BEACH, 372-9433, SALTYPAWSMARKET.COM Give the gift of pampering. Salty Paws offers quality cage-free services with all-natural products and personalized attention.

Cucumber Facial Scrub • Blended with organic cucumber and aloe extracts.

Treatment cleans food from facial fur and removes odors from facial folds.

Organic Ear Wash Tea Tree • Essential Oil is applied to help keep ears free of dirt and waxy build-up.

Paws & Nose Conditioning Treatment • The conditioning treatment nourishes the snout and pads with a rich, soothing blend of shea and aloe butters, pure and natural sweet almond, grapeseed and golden jojoba oils.

Davi mail@folioweekly.com ____________________________________ Davi the dachshund isn’t a professional shopper, but he is a semi-professional hopper.

PET TIP: FASHION-FORWARD FIDO THERE’S NOTHING CUTER THAN A DOG ALL dressed up and ready to roll … probably in manure or roadkill, but never mind that. Much to our twinsies-loving chagrin, some dogs just aren’t down with haut couture. But before you toss those matching ugly sweaters, there are ways to get Mrs. Barkersworth used to wearing clothes before you go full tu-tu, tiara and slippers. Start with something simple, like a bandana around her neck, then gradually work your way up to the formal wear. And always, always keep the weather in mind; dogs can’t sweat, so they overheat relatively easily.

34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 14-20, 2016

PET EVENTS MEGA PET ADOPTION • First Coast No More Homeless Pets offers more than 1,000 pets for adoption, 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Dec. 16, 17 and 18 at Jacksonville Fairgrounds, 510 Fairground Place, Downtown. The $20 fee includes spay/neuter, microchip, vaccines and city license, fcnmhp.org.

ADOPTABLES

CARLOTTA

A LOTTA LOVE • Dear Santa, Meowy Catmas!

I’ve been a really good girl this year. I’ve shared catnip with the other kitties here at the Humane Society and I’ve made sure to be extra sweet to every human I meet! This year, more than anything, I’m hoping you’ll give me a new home in time for Christmas.

Pretty please with a candy cane on top! I’ll be waiting at the Jacksonville Humane Society, 8464 Beach Blvd., Southside!

SANTA PAWS • Pet photos with Santa are on offer from 2-6 p.m. Dec. 18 at St. Francis Animal Hospital, 2727 Atlantic Blvd., St. Nicholas, 674-7223, saintfrancisanimalhospital. org. Proceeds go to St. Francis Animal Hospital Helping Paws Fund to help family pets in need of medical care.

KATZ 4 KEEPS ADOPTION DAYS • Adoption days are held 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Dec. 17, 18 and 24, at 935B A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach, 834-3223, katz4keeps.org.

ADOPTABLES

NELLIE

WHOA ME • Dear Santa, Happy Pawlidays!

I hope you’re having a tail-waggin’ good time up there in the North Pole. Down here in Jacksonville, I’ve been waiting at the Humane Society for a nice family to adopt me. I made sure to be extra nice this year so I hope you can grant my Christmas wish!

There’s not a chimney here, but JHS is open 7 days a week. See you soon!

CBC4Kids • Celebrate birds while engaging youth and their families in real Citizen Science, 9 a.m.-noon Jan. 7 at Camp Chowenwaw Park, 1517 Ball Rd., Green Cove Springs, eventbrite. com. A binocular boot camp, intro to birding and 90 minutes on the trail with experienced birders/ naturalists and a follow-up program are featured.

Bring a water bottle, closed-toe shoes, bug spray, hat and sunscreen; binoculars and field guide if you have them. Sponsored by Duval Audubon Sociey and Camp Chowenwaw. Free and open to the public. ___________________________________ To list a pet event, send the event name, time, date, location (complete street address and city), admission price, contact number/website to print, to mdryden@folioweekly.com – at least two weeks before the event.

DECEMBER 14-20, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35

FREEWILL ASTROLOGY

DALE RATERMANN’s Crossword presented by

CARSON McCULLERS, GRIEF BACON, EDGAR ALLAN POE, STEPHEN HAWKING & TOM WAITS

Serving Excellence Since 1928 Member American Gem Society

San Marco

Ponte Vedra

The Shoppes of Ponte Vedra

Avondale

2044 San Marco Blvd.

398-9741

330 A1A North

3617 St. Johns Ave.

280-1202

388-5406

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how,” said dancer Agnes De Mille.

“We guess. We may be wrong, but we take leap after leap in the dark.” As true as her words may be for most of us much of the time, they don’t apply to you now. It’s one of those rare moments when feeling total certainty is justified. Your vision is extra clear and farseeing. Your good humor and expansive spirit will keep you humble.

As you take leap after leap, you’ll be surrounded by light.

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Word for Yorick Web info pages Test choice Reggae relative Canine coat A Ford Like a JU cheerleader Cubby hole Common Norse name Angry one’s place Blow one’s lid Job site?

Howled at the moon Dolls’ sounds “ ain’t broke...”

36 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 14-20, 2016

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “If you don’t use your own imagination, somebody else is going to use it for you,” said writer Ronald Sukenick. That’s true, and it’ll be especially important to keep in mind in 2017. Geminis will have an unparalleled power to enlarge, refine and tap into your imagination. You’ll be blessed with the motivation and ingenuity to make it work in new ways, which could help you accomplish marvelous feats of creativity and self-transformation. Warning: If you DON’T use willpower to take advantage of these potentials, your imagination will be subject to atrophy and colonization.

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10 Sweetwater by Del 14 Merry adventure 15 Israeli desert 16 Diva’s number 17 A gem 19 A gem 20 Compass pt.

21 Mrs. George Clooney 22 Baby bottle top 24 Brunch item 26 Ill(doomed) 27 A gem 30 Some 32 Trades jobs 33 A gem 37 Coggin coupe 38 Land of Luxor 40 Be a little shy?

41 A gem 44 egg (flop) 46 Kid’s comeback 47 A gem 49 Former Shell rival 52 In a kind way 54 “Easy to clean” in ads 56 Palm variety 57 Green shade

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TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “We are torn between nostalgia for the familiar and an urge for the foreign and strange,” wrote author Carson McCullers. Ready to give that a twist?

In the coming weeks, search for foreign and strange qualities in your familiar world. Such a quest may first feel odd, but will ultimately be healthy and interesting.

It’ll also be good preparation for your life’s next chapter, when you’ll saunter out into unknown territory and find ways to feel at home there.

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44 TV show that had its Dey in court 45 Singer Grant 47 Most arid 48 Off-the-cuff stuff 49 “There was woman ... ” 50 Gloomy one 51 Muscat native 53 My Dinner with 55 Navigator and Explorer 57 Fishing gear 58 Barely beat 59 Memo abbr.

62 UNF alumna news word 63 Mature acorn

Solution to 12.7.16 Puzzle R I F T S

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CANCER (June 21-July 22): Australian sand wasps are skilled at finding their way back home after being out all day – how?

Here’s the trick: When they leave the nest each morning, they fly backwards, imprinting on their memory banks the sights they’ll look for when they return. Their exiting flight path is a slow, systematic zigzag pattern that orients them from multiple directions. Draw inspiration from sand wasps in 2017. One important task will be to keep finding the way back to your spiritual home, over and over.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Vault 21, a restaurant in Dunedin, New Zealand, serves sautéed locusts. For $5, diners get a plate of five. The menu refers to the dish not as “Oily Sizzling Grasshoppers,” but rather as “Sky Prawns.” Satisfied customers know exactly what they’re eating, and some say the taste does indeed resemble prawns. It illustrates a talent you’ll have in abundance during 2017: re-branding. You’ll know how to maximize the attractiveness and desirability of things by showing them in the best possible light.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The literal translation of the German word Kummerspeck is “grief bacon.” It refers to the weight gained by people who, wallowing in self-pity, eat too much comfort food. I know more than a few Virgos who’ve been flirting with this development lately, though the trigger seems to be self-doubt as much as self-pity. The good news: The trend’s about to flip. A flow of agreeable adventures is due to begin soon. You’ll be prodded by fun challenges and provocative stimuli to boost o confidence and discourage Kummerspeck.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “Since you are like no other being ever created since the beginning of time, you are incomparable,” wrote journalist Brenda Ueland. Pause … and fully take that in. It’s breathtaking and daunting. What a huge responsibility it is to be absolutely one of a kind. In fact, it’s so monumental, you may be shy about living up to

it. But how about if you make 2017 the year you finally come into your own as the awesomely unprecedented creature you are? Dare you to more fully acknowledge and express your singular destiny. Start now!

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “To dream … to dream has been the business of my life,” wrote author Edgar Allan Poe. You may not match his devotion to dreams in 2017, but you’ll be more deeply engaged with your waking fantasies and stories that unfold as you sleep. Why? Because your usual approaches to gathering useful information won’t be sufficient. To be successful, both spiritually and worldly, you’ll need extra access to perspectives from beyond your rational mind. A good motto for 2017: “I am a lavish and practical dreamer.”

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Physicist Stephen Hawking is skeptical of the hypothesis that humans may someday be able to travel through time. To jokingly dramatize his belief, he threw a party for time travelers from the future. Sadly, not a single chrononaut showed up to enjoy the champagne and hors d’oeuvres Hawking prepared. Despite this discouraging evidence, I guarantee you’ll have the potential to meet with Future Versions of You on a regular basis in the next nine months. These encounters are likely to be metaphorical or dreamlike rather than literal, but they’ll provide valuable information as you make decisions affecting your destiny for years. The first of these heart-to-hearts should be very soon.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In these last few weeks, you may have sometimes felt like smashing holes in the wall with your head, dragging precious keepsakes to the middle of the street and setting them on fire, or delivering boxes full of garbage to those who don’t appreciate you as they should. Here are some activities to help you move from unproductive impulses: Make or find a symbol of one of your mental blocks, and bash it to pieces with a hammer; clean and polish precious keepsakes, and reinvigorate your love for them; take as many trips to the dump as needed to remove congestion, dross and rot from your environment.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Singersongwriter Tom Waits has a distinctive voice.

One fan described it as “like how you’d sound if you drank a quart of bourbon, smoked a pack of cigarettes and swallowed a pack of razor blades. Late at night. After not sleeping for three days.” Waits doesn’t do any of those self-destructive things to achieve his unique tone. In fact, he’s wealthy from selling his music, and has three kids with his wife of 36 years. I foresee a similar potential for you in the coming weeks and months. You may be able to capitalize on harmless weirdness, earn rewards by expressing your charming eccentricities and be strange and popular.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Was punk rock born on June 4, 1976? A fledgling band called the Sex Pistols played that night for about 40 people at a small venue in Manchester, England. In the audience was Morrissey, who got so inspired he started his own band, The Smiths. Also there was a rowdy guy who would soon launch the band Joy Division, despite the fact that he had never played an instrument. The men who later formed the Buzzcocks also saw the performance by Johnny Rotten and his crew. According to music critic David Nolan, these future pioneers came away from the 1976 show with the thought, “You don’t have to be a virtuoso or a musical genius to be in a band; anyone can do it.” Parallels between this seminal event and your life are in the future.

Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

NEWS OF THE WEIRD ECRET-SAY ODE-CAY

American gangsters traditionally use euphemisms and nicknames (“Chin,” “The Nose”) to disguise criminal activities, but among details revealed at a November murder trial in Sydney, Australia, was that members of the “Brothers 4 Life” gang might’ve used “pig latin.” In a phone-tapped conversation played in court, one of the men on trial was overheard cunningly telling a henchman that a colleague had been “caught with the un-gay in the ar-cay.” A helpful witness then took the stand to explain to the jury that the defendant thus knew there was “a gun in the car.” At press time, the trial was still in rogress-pay.

IT’S ALL GREEK TO US

An “academic” paper composed entirely of gibberish was accepted for a lecture at the International Conference on Atomic & Nuclear Physics in Atlanta last month.

Prof. Christoph Bartneck of New Zealand’s University of Canterbury said he began writing (using Apple iOS) by entering “atomic” and “nuclear” into his tablet and “randomly” following whatever “autocomplete” suggestions emerged. Sample sentence: “The atoms of a better universe will have the right for the same as you are the way we shall have to be a great place...” Conclusion: “Power is not a great place for a good time.”

ONE FOR HIM, ONE FOR HER

Divorcing couples who cannot decide who gets to keep a treasured family home leave the decision to a judge, and in October, a court in Moscow ordered a couple to build a brick wall to divide their expensive house in an elite neighborhood. Apparently contractors’ measurements have been taken, and the couple has assumed dominion over their respective areas, even to the extent that a friend of the wife had become “trapped” on the husband’s side and kept from leaving until she called emergency services. Furthermore, the wife must have a second stairway built — the existing one is on the husband’s side.

FAMOUS LAST WORDS: “WATCH THIS …”

A 23-year-old man in Tampa, Florida, was hanging out with his cousin in September, and nearby were a gun and a bulletproof vest

— and the result was predictable. According to police, the first man donned the vest and said he wondered whether it “still worked”; the cousin picked up the gun and said, “Let’s see.” The cousin, Alexandro Garibaldi, 24, was charged with manslaughter.

Folio Weekly Magazine can help you connect with that surfer hunk you almost talked to at the Young Vegan Professionals meet-up, or that gum-crackin’ goddess at Target who “accidentally” dropped a jasmine-scented kazoo in your cart. Just go to folioweekly.com/i-saw-u.html, fill out the FREE form correctly (40 words or fewer, dammit) by 5 p.m. Friday (for the next Wednesday’s FWM) – next stop: Bliss!

SEE YOU IN COURT

Judges can issue “material witness” warrants to lock up innocent people to ensure their trial testimony, but rarely do so to actual crime victims. In December 2015, the Houston district attorney obtained such a warrant jailing a rape victim (“Jenny”) to secure her testimony against a serial rapist she could identify, because Jenny, exceptionally fragile, was hesitant. She finally took the stand, and the rapist is now serving multiple life terms, but Jenny’s added trauma (especially since police mistakenly placed her into the jail’s general population instead of a separate wing) provoked her to file a (now in progress) lawsuit against the DA. In November, likely to Jenny’s satisfaction, the DA, Devon Anderson, failed re-election.

TASTES LIKE FISH

Another animal survives with mouth-tomouth: In November, an 18-year-old man who allegedly tried to steal koi carp fish from a holding tank (pending their return to a pond at Castle Park in Colchester, England) screwed up, resulting in the deaths of most of them, including some of the oldest and most visitor-friendly of the species. Park rangers managed to rescue several, and one ranger even gave mouthto-mouth resuscitation to three carp. (A biologist told BBC News that carp are noted for surviving on low oxygen and might not have needed the mouth-to-mouth.)

DEER ME

On Nov. 17, in Clarksville, Tennessee, an unassuming pedestrian along Dover Road was smacked by a deer that sailed into him after it collided with a minivan. The pedestrian was taken to the hospital with broken bones.

Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net

No left or right swipe here – you can actually use REAL WORDS to find REAL LOVE!

One: Write a ive-word headline so they’ll recognize you, or them, or the place.

Two: Describe the person, like, “You: Blonde, hot, skanky, tall.”

Three: Describe yourself, like, “Me: Redhead, boring, clean, virgin.”

Four: Describe the encounter, like, “ISU with your posse at Dos Gatos.”

Five: Hook up, fall in love, reserve a church*. No names, emails, websites, etc. And fer chrissake, it’s forty (40) words or fewer.

Holidays are here … lingering under mistletoe again, all on your lonesome?

Pathetic. Reach out through the seasonal magic of Folio Weekly ISUs! ENGLISH MUFFIN HELLO, COOL MOOSE U: Carmine’s shirt, prettiest art admirer ever. Me: Tattooed brow, food maker. Made your hello with a smiley-face flag. Art is an experience we can enjoy together. When: Dec. 7. Where: Cool Moose Café Riverside. #1636-1214 DAYCARE DAD ISU when I drop off my daughter. You drop off your little one. Coffee? You: Tallish, tattoos, work boots you take off before entering baby room, absolutely adorable; single? Me: Red hair, always hoping I see you. When: Almost every day. Where: Kids World Academy. #1635-1214 CROSSWORD QT You had orange socks and an orange Element.

You got a cappuccino (or two) and started with a crossword. Your laptop had an Equality sticker on it … either you really like math, or we should meet. Maybe both. When: Nov. 29. Where: Bold Bean, Riverside. #1634-1207 CARMELO’S SILVER FOX You: Tall, handsome, older gentleman with an exceptional British accent! Me: Tall brunette who visits frequently. You’re flirty, but let’s make it official! Tea time? When: Nov. 11. Where: Carmelo’s Pizzeria, St. Augustine. #1633-1207 MY HOT, SEXY NEIGHBOR You: Tall, white sports jersey (No. 12, I think), flag tattoo. Me: Brunette, sunglasses, busty. While checking mail ISU on balcony playing darts, smoking cigar. Welcome to the neighborhood.

Throw your dart at me anytime. When: Oct. 25.

Where: Coquina Bay Apartments. #1632-1026 A YEAR AGO, OCEANWAY PUBLIX Wednesday afternoon before Thanksgiving. Talked in checkout line. Me: Kinda muscular, blue Never Quit shirt. Please forgive my walking away. You: So smokin’ hot I couldn’t believe it; black vehicle.

Let me be your somebody! When: Nov. 25, ’15.

Where: Oceanway Publix. #1631-1026

MY BUD LIGHT/MARLBORO MAN You: Handsome man working the grill, drinking Bud Light and cooking some good-looking meat on Saturday. Me: Drinking Captain and Coke and fighting the desire to take advantage of you.

Hoping you “grill” again soon! When: Aug. 27.

Where: Downtown. #1627-0928 NEED HELP MOVING? First time ISU, you were moving from your apartment; we caught eyes. Met again, exchanged names. Wanted your number but it’s been so long since someone made me speechless. Come by sometime? You: Pretty. Me: Intrigued. When: Sept.

14. Where: Off JTB. #1626-0921 FIRST WATCH EARTHQUAKE You: Stunningly beautiful lady, long brown hair, shorts, athletic top, waiting for second party Sunday morning. Me: Tall, dark, handsome guy, kinda cop-looking. Tried to buy your breakfast; you hadn’t ordered. Really wanted to say hello.

When: Aug. 28. Where: First Watch Beach Boulevard. #1625-0907 TRADE PORSCHE FOR BEACH CRUISER? Drawn to your physique, adored biceps as you chilled with friend! You complimented my Porsche. Offered trade for your cruiser. Didn’t ask for number. WOD together on next bring-a-friend day?! When: 4 p.m. June 5. Where: Zeta Brewing bicycle stand. #1616-0622 DANCING TO THE BONES You are L. from Ponte Vedra. I’m R, leading band at Conch House on Friday, Aug. 12. We said quick hello as you left. Really want to connect with you. Hopefully cosmos will agree. When: Aug. 12.

Where: Conch House, St. Augustine. #1624-0817 FLOWERS IN MY HAND Very surprised to see you. Positive memories flooded back, so let’s have lunch and catch up. S. When: July 6. Where: Publix Pharmacy. #1623-0810

CUTE BARTRAM PARK RUNNER We’ve seen each other. You: Dark hair, blueeyed hottie, running. Me: Dark blonde, ponytail, walking. Today you said, “Sorry about that.” I smiled, not sure of meaning – sorry about crude car guys. Points – you’re a gentleman. Single?

When: Oct. 17. Where: Bartram Park. #1630-1026

DO YOU SEEK UNIQUE? You: Beautiful brunette, Walmart sugar aisle, beautiful arm ink work; said you got it in Riverside. Me: Dark chocolate gentleman, captivated by smile, breathless looking into beautiful eyes. Too shy to get number. Meet for lunch? When: July 16. Where: Walmart Avenues. #1622-0720

SALMON POLO, RIVERSIDE PUBLIX Going to check-out – bam! ISU. Handsome man. Facial hair. Fit. Smiled, made eye contact.

Thought, “I’ll never see him again.” I pull from lot; you walk in front; noticed your right arm tattoo.

No bags? When: Oct. 3. Where: Riverside Publix. #1629-1012

HANDSOME, KIND GENTLEMAN ISU Saturday 1 a.m. You: Extremely handsome, cool hat, T-shirt, jeans; forgot wallet; complimented my white dress. Me: Long blond hair, green eyes, too shy to ask name or if unattached. Love to meet formally! When: July 17.

Where: Walmart San Jose. #1621-0720

BRUNETTE BEAUTY WALKING TO BEACH Tall brunette walking her most white with mixed colored medium-sized dog. Snake-design comfortable pants, gorgeous body. Me: Waking up, starting day. You were first thing I saw from inside my house. Let’s walk together! When: Sept. 30.

Where: Davis St., Neptune Beach. #1628-1005

WE ARE READY FOR U You: Handsome man following, watching me, saying hi, calling, hanging up before u speak.

Me: Want to hear your heart. My dog and condo await. Don’t be afraid. Everything will be OK. We love you. When: 2012. Where: Neighborhood. #1620-0720

*or any other appropriate site at which folks can engage in a civil union or marriage or whatever …

DECEMBER 14-20, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37

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38 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 14-20, 2016

FOLIO VOICES : BACKPAGE EDITORIAL

THE MAIN CROSSWORD PUZZLE IS ALWAYS ON the first comics page in the upper left corner.

The secondary or “commuter” puzzle is usually on a classified ad page, so it moves around to different sections of the paper. Finding the commuter puzzle on Saturdays is always frustrating because it floated around in either the Homes section or the multi-quartered Auto section. But that’s a moot point now; the presidential election changed everything.

I won’t be getting my two daily local newspaper crossword puzzles anymore because, after nearly 20 years of continuous service, I cancelled my subscription to the Florida Times-Union.

I first heard about the paper’s plans to endorse the Republican candidate on the Friday before the election.

The next day I called their customer service line. The woman handling my call asked for the reason for cancellation and, when I told her it was because of the paper’s endorsement for president, she mentioned she had been hearing that all day.

I am going to miss the crossword puzzles. Doing crosswords is not only one of my favorite thinking hobbies, it’s also an extremely effective brain exercise. I wouldn’t do the puzzles at home but would take them to work to do during downtime to keep my mind awake and alert. After stretches of heavy business, I’d end up with a tall stack of puzzles.

Now I’ll have to come up with something else to do. It’s my fault, but I just couldn’t justify supporting a paper that would back a creature as vile as they did. It’s not a matter of political differences, but even the hardcore right will admit that this election cycle was not politics as usual. The Republican nominee was more than a candidate, he was an ideology, one based on the vilest hatred and fears of a scared little man. I in no way supported Republican candidates in past elections, but the thought of cancelling my subscription when the T-U endorsed Romney four years ago, or McCain in 2008, or Dubya before him in 2004 and 2000, never crossed my mind.

Without the daily paper coming, it’s going to take so much longer to fill my recycling bin.

As much as I do follow politics, I am aware of the extent to which politics doesn’t necessarily follow me. I mean this in the sense that whoever is in the White House normally has very little direct effect on my life. Sure, as part of the American collective I am resultant of the workings of the American government, but most of the stuff that goes on in Washington doesn’t really trickle down

to my level. Even on my level, I am quite the Joe Ordinary, even more so now because, as a straight white middle-class male, I am “safe” from most of the unhinged social projects proposed by the president-elect. But just like every other aspect of this election, this time around is different. This time around, the election has had a direct effect not only on

the driveway no matter how hot or cold or rainy the morning. There’s the retiring to the “Throne Room” in stereotypic manfashion for a leisurely read, the extraction and folding of my puzzles, the tearing out of the occasional coupon or event notice, the setting aside some story or report that I wanted to look into.

My crossword puzzle routine at work consists of kicking back at my desk and working through my puzzle stack in order. As I finish each one, I tear the newspaper leaf in half four times, leaving me with a little stack of 1 1/2 x 3 inch pieces that were ceremoniously tossed into the trashcan. As I worked through them, I‘d watch my puzzle stack get shorter and shorter, knowing that with each day’s delivery, the puzzle stack would get replenished. But not anymore.

I’ve still got about five days’ worth. Since I cancelled the subscription, I’ve been finding other ways to pass the downtime. I wouldn’t doubt that this is some unconscious effort to prolong at least the at-work part of my decades-old routine for as long as possible.

Of course ceasing my newspaper routine pales in comparison to those people facing possible deportation or financial ruin or the horrid resurgence of racism and misogyny. In the context of my life, though, it’s a routine that has remained steadfast for almost my entire life. For my breaking of that routine, I am sad and I am resentful. I’ll do the writer thing and channel that resentment into my craft, into an editorial like this, maybe write something about it for the next issue of my zine, hoping my opinions might strike a chord with some people who might be stirred into action.

I do see cancelling the paper as my minute contribution to a growing progressive movement that will carry us to the next election. That and a good reason to shake up my morning reading habits. Maybe I’ll renew a couple of magazine subscriptions that I let lapse. Or maybe I’ll start attacking “that stack” of books that all bibliophiles have sitting in the corner of the room. I do know that on the day I finish the last puzzle in my stack, I’ll have to make a stop at the newsstand for a good crossword book; I’m not letting the entire routine go without a fight.

Johnny Masiulewicz mail@folioweekly.com _____________________________________

CROSSWORDS A CONTROVERSIAL ENDORSEMENT alters the course of one man’s life my day-to-day life, but on my whole history, because for the very first time in my life I am living in a household that doesn’t get a daily local newspaper.

I was born into a Chicago Sun-Times house. There were three choices back then.

My grandma’s house got the Chicago Tribune.

Uncle Jack and Auntie Bunny had the Chicago Daily News delivered. As an adult, I switched to the Tribune. With that newspaper I discovered the joy of having a fresh crossword puzzle delivered right to the front door. One of the first things I did after moving to Jacksonville was to set up my T-U subscription.

This affinity for print news undoubtedly spurred my desire to be a writer and journalist.

I began fledgling work in college, followed by an internship at NewCity News in Chicago, which opened the doors to a career that has seen my byline in scores of papers and periodicals, including the Florida Times-Union.

But the T-U won’t see any work from me anymore. Why would I want my name to be seen in a newspaper that I wouldn’t want to be seen buying? That’s not to say I won’t miss having my work there, just as there are other things in the paper that I’ll miss.

I liked the daily sports TV listings and the Monday Morning Quarterback the day after a Jags loss. The Op-Ed pages are always an adventure, whether enraging or elative. There’s the practicality of the arts and entertainment listings, and of course the comic strips I follow. But in lieu of all that, the thing I will miss the most isn’t something inside the daily paper but rather the routine I’ve built around it, a routine that’s lasted a half-century.

In its latest manifestation, that routine includes the half-asleep walk to the end of

Masiulewicz is a writer and salesman in Jacksonville.

DECEMBER 14-20, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 39