2 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 16-22, 2015
DECEMBER 16-22, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 3
4 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 16-22, 2015
THIS WEEK // 12.16-22.15 // VOL. 29 ISSUE 38 COVER STORY
THE COST OF SILENCE [14] REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS are facing their most
serious threats in decades. Is anyone paying attention?
STORY BY CLAIRE GOFORTH
FEATURED ARTICLES
GO FROM ZERO TO 110, REAL QUICK
[10]
BY AG GANCARSKI Why the AMPHITHEATER DEAL was never in doubt.
MEET IN THE PARKING LOT
[12]
YOU DON’T KNOW ME [27] (BUT I’M KRIS KRINGLE) BY DANNY KELLY Doobie Brothers’ main man MICHAEL McDONALD brings his smooth R&B style to the holiday favorites.
BY JOSUE CRUZ Heavyweight GATE and bantamweight BEACH DINER square off over Atlantic Beach property.
COLUMNS + CALENDARS OUR PICKS MAIL BRICKBATS & BOUQUETS FIGHTIN’ WORDS NEWS LM GIFT GUIDE
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FILM/MAGIC LANTERNS ARTS MUSIC LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR THE KNIFE DINING
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FOLIO WEEKLY IS PUBLISHED EVERY WEDNESDAY THROUGHOUT NORTHEAST FLORIDA. It contains opinions of contributing writers that are not necessarily the opinion of this publication. Folio Weekly welcomes editorial and photographic contributions. Calendar information must be received two weeks in advance of event date. Copyright © Folio Publishing, Inc. 2015. All rights reserved. Advertising rates and information are available on request. An advertiser purchases right of publication only. One free issue copy per person. Additional copies and back issues are $1 each at the office or $4 by U.S. mail, based on availability. First Class mail subscriptions are $48 for 13 weeks, $96 for 26 weeks and $189 for 52 weeks. Please recycle Folio Weekly. Folio Weekly is printed on recycled paper using soy-based inks.
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45 West Bay Street, Suite 103 Jacksonville, Florida 32202 PHONE 904.260.9770 FAX 904.260.9773 DECEMBER 16-22, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5
OH, YOU LITTLE DICKENS! A CHRISTMAS CAROL
TUE
22
Imagine a tale about a hateful curmudgeon in dire need of some comeuppance. No, it’s not the Donald Trump Karma Revue – it’s Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol ! Set in Victorian-era England, this classic story follows Ebenezer Scrooge one magical Christmas Eve as he experiences reckoning after reckoning along with a veritable yuletide paradigm-shift, man!! Charles Jones’ musical stage adaptation of Dickens’ story features 23 actors and musicians performing new arrangements of classic Christmas tunes. 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, Dec. 22, Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, Downtown, $13.10-$48.65, artistseriesjax.org.
OUR PICKS MELODIOUS MAGIC FIRST COAST NUTCRACKER BALLET No, you’re not having a Folio Weekly flashback (though those are way fun, albeit neuron-destroying).
REASONS TO LEAVE THE HOUSE THIS WEEK FRI
18
Yes, we Our Picked a different Nutcracker performance last week. Why? We love the Nutcracker, that’s why! Any time there are rats dancing, count us in. In keeping with its 40-year tradition, Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra presents First Coast Nutcracker Ballet, featuring local dancers joining the symphony in staging Tchaikovsky’s Christmas tale. Tell ’em those zany Nutcracker Addicts at Folio Weekly sent ya! 8 p.m. Friday, Dec. 18; 2 and 8 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 19, and 2 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 20, Times-Union Center’s Moran Theater, Downtown, $18-$50, jaxsymphony.org.
SAT
19
PROG RAP MATISYAHU
Progressive hip-hop artist Matisyahu surely owns the market in combining Orthodox Judaism, reggae, rock, and beatboxing. When he first arrived on the rap scene a decade ago, Matisyahu was known as much for sporting his traditional Hasidic payots as he was for his socially conscious rhymes. But what could have been seen as a show biz gimmick soon fell aside (he has also since cut his traditional locks) on the strength of his kickass dancehall-style concerts and heady wordplay. 8 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 19, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, $37.50-$49.50 (each night), pvconcerthall.com.
ASHES TO ASHES HIGH ON FIRE Pushing pummeling rock to its breaking point, stoner rock behemoths High On Fire first rose out of the subterranean California metal scene in the late ’90s. Led by Matt Pike – who also plays in the stoner doom band Sleep – High On Fire has released seven slabs of topshelf sludge metal, including their latest critically lauded effort, Lumniferous. 6:30 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 19 with openers Crowbar, Appalachian Death Trap, and Yashira, Underbelly, Downtown, $17, foryourfriends.net, underbellylive.com.
FRI
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6 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 16-22, 2015
FREAK FREELY
A FIVE PACK OF INDIES
Looking for a nice way to purge your brain of holiday hysteria? Look no further. This weekend, enjoy an evening of boss underground sounds that run the gamut from the garage-y to Dark Wave, with a line-up featuring Gainesville’s EW and Witch Titz (pictured), Delphic Oracle (Brooklyn), as well as local faves Burnt Hair and Virgin Flower. 9 p.m. Friday, Dec. 18, rain dogs., Riverside, $6, facebook.com/raindogsjax.
SAT
19
DECEMBER 16-22, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7
THE MAIL
ELEVEN22 PART DEUX (THE NEW TESTAMENT) OUR DEC. 2 COVER STORY (“STRAIGHTENED Out at Eleven22,” by Claire Goforth) created such a buzz that not only did patrons of COE22 feel it necessary to snatch up every last copy of our magazine from several locations around Northeast Florida – including Bold Bean at the beach – but our Facebook page, website, and inbox were flooded with commenters. Here’s a second dose of that conversation: WHY WOULD ANY LGBT PERSON WANT TO belong to a religion that has spent the past 2,000 years persecuting their own kind? Ogremagi via folioweekly.com YOUR REPORTING CAN FOOL THOSE BIBLE ignorance [sic] but not people with Biblical knowledge.
Sorry, wicked weekly, your misguided reporting is really an embarrassment to journalism. anonymous via email THE BIBLE CLEARLY CONDEMNS HOMOSEXUALITY as sin. I Corinthians 6:9-10 clearly makes that point — any “church” who claims to follow the Bible but does not hew to that passage is picking and choosing their doctrine, and is in error. jaguarsrule via folioweekly.com THE FACT THAT THIS ARTICLE HAS RUFFLED SO many feathers tells me that there’s some truth to it. After all, where there’s smoke there’s fire. I think it’s funny that the majority of the posters on here are defending the good Pastor. Too many churches these days are full of hypocrites. I’d rather worship God from my barstool. frankiem via folioweekly.com
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CONTRIBUTORS A.G. GANCARSKI A
““From Zero to 100, Real Quick” pg. 10
A Gancarski has been writing for Folio Weekly since A.G. 22003. He has written about a variety of subjects as both a ccolumnist and reporter for FW and his work has appeared in publications such as Washington Times and the Florida Sunp SSentinel. He currently covers Jacksonville city politics for the blog Florida Politics. His “Fightin’ Words” column, which b first appeared nearly 12 years ago, is often a good reflection of Gancarski’s multifarious interests and idiosyncratic take o on the news of the moment. This week’s column discusses o the th pre-conceived inevitability of the deal between the Jaguars and the city of Jacksonville to approve $90 million Ja in upgrades to EverBank Field. A longtime Jacksonville resident, he lives in the Riverside-Avondale historic re district with his wife. d
BRICKBATS + BOUQUETS BOUQUETS TO MELISSA ROSS The host and producer of WJCT (89.9 FM)’s “First Coast Connect” sat in last week for Diane Rehm on the nationally syndicated NPR program, “The Diane Rehm Show,” which draws approximately 2.5 million listeners each week. BOUQUETS TO DERRICK HENRY The Yulee High School grad took home the Heisman Trophy — given to the best player in college football — after a breakout season at the University of Alabama, in which he broke former University of Georgia running back Herschel Walker’s Southeastern Conference rushing record and scored 23 touchdowns for the Crimson Tide. BRICKBATS TO FRED NEWBILL The pastor of First Timothy Baptist Church on Jacksonville’s Northside spoke in opposition to expanding the city’s HRO and joined a group of African-American pastors calling for a public referendum on the matter. A similar referendum, dubbed “the bathroom bill,” struck down an inclusive HRO in Houston, Texas last month. KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? HOW ABOUT A PROVERBIAL BRICKBAT? Send your submissions to mail@folioweekly.com. Submissions should be a maxium of 50 words and directed toward a person, place, or topic of local interest.
8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 16-22, 2015
JOY DIVISION
T
he Jacksonville Jaguars had a historic day on Sunday, Dec. 13, riding a 42-point second half to a 51-16 throttling of the perpetual AFC South champs and current codivision leaders, the Indianapolis Colts. The anomaly, though: It didn’t sound all that much like a press conference after a historic win, neither from Coach Gus Bradley or QB Blake Bortles. “We’re trying to create a standard,” Bradley said, sounding like he would have if the Jags had lost by 35 instead of won by that number. At halftime, surprisingly, Bradley told media that he didn’t say much to the team, just feeling that “we’ll get it together” on offense.
JAGCITY
Can the Jags win the AFC SOUTH? Should they?
The media may not get it consistently. And the fans may not, either. But the team and the coach seem to get it. It’s been a rough century so far for Jaguars’ fans, who haven’t had too much to cheer about since 1999. Some good games, an encouraging season or two, but for the most part? A lot of first-round busts and free agents who don’t want to be here.
No, this team and this coach aren’t perfect. But the deal is that, even though the Jags sit at 5-8, they are but one game out of first. The two 6-7 teams play next week in Indy. Both have major question marks at quarterback; the Texans look to be facing a week of fill-in TJ Yates, and the Colts may have Andrew Luck back on the field. And if Luck isn’t back? Checkdown Charlie Whitehurst may take the field.
Rarely is a division title so attainable. The Jaguars, even if Luck is back, may have the best quarterback in the division. The best wideouts in the division. The best tight end and, maybe, if Yeldon isn’t out, the best running back in the division. This isn’t the window anyone expected. But it’s a window nonetheless. A.G. Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com
Bradley exuded energy, and as he was asked if he’d ever been happier as Jaguars coach, THE POWER SURGED AND THE LIGHTS TURNED OUT. And they did. Bradley exuded energy, and as he was asked if he’d ever been happier as Jaguars coach, the power surged and the lights turned out. It was as if his positive energy, so often derided by the grumbling curmudgeons of the Cowford media, was too much for the fusebox in the room. One hopes that the renovations will address that. Bortles, like Bradley, was upbeat. “It’s good to get a complete game,” he said, speaking of the “touchdowns in all three phases of the game.” Asked about his “chemistry” with receivers, Bortles said it came down to repetitions and the receivers’ “toughness.” Bortles, when asked about being practically booed off the field after the botched snap, then receiving rapturous praise as the game became a blowout, said, “That’s what fans do.” A sign of Bortles’ maturity: his realization that he can tell the truth. And acknowledging that what the fans and the media say means very little, since it comes from a place of incomplete understanding. When asked about Bradley’s comments at halftime, meanwhile, Bortles said that the coach was the same as he ever is … in other words, confirming what the coach said. And that consistency is why, he added, that the team loves Bradley. “I think everybody feeds off of him” and “100 percent believes in him.” He came in, Bortles said, after a rough half and “gave a speech he would have [given]” if the team had played its best half.
DECEMBER 16-22, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9
FIGHTIN’ WORDS
Why the AMPHITHEATER DEAL was never in doubt
GO FROM ZERO TO 110,
By the time there was legislation to “amend” the Jaguars’ lease, there was no daylight between the positions of the executive branch and the Jacksonville Jaguars. But changes happened to the bill. The Council Auditor offered his tweaks. And so did three of the four committees that reviewed it. (Rules, dominated by the entertaining barbs between Chair Matt Schellenberg and his antagonist, Tommy Hazouri, did nothing with the bill). Dozens of amendments. Every caution that could be heard was heard. Council opted to, in the words of Mike Weinstein, “be bold.” There was, of course, one holdout: Danny Becton, who made the administration’s life miserable in committee meetings for two days. Becton made the case of fiscal rectitude, for a pause. He wasn’t thrilled with the terms of the bill. Then came the Council meeting last Tuesday. And the scales fell off Becton’s eyes. Becton told the press that he had been thinking about voting with the rest of the Council directly after the Land Use and Zoning meeting a week before the full Council vote. The question, of course, is what flipped it. Did Sam Mousa use telepathy? Or did Paul Harden talk to Becton and make him see the issue the Jaguars’ way? Harden and Becton agree that they had a conversation, though Becton says it was half an hour and Harden says it was 90 minutes. Beyond that, both men basically agree that the gist of the conversation was along the lines of “how can I flip your vote?” Becton wanted concessions; he didn’t get them; he went along with the team anyway, telling media that he was just trying to negotiate a better deal. Of course, the mayor already has his negotiator. And Becton, in flipping on this vote, did himself no real favors. The Jags and the executive branch know they won. And they marginalized Becton in doing so. We are seeing a mayor, so far, with as much stroke as John Delaney had with Council. That is, in part, because Mousa is running the offense. He is the fixer; the straw that stirs the drink. And Council? The Mousa-kateers. On another issue, the big talk is “perhaps we should have a referendum.” What would have happened if the Jags’ package had gone to referendum, though? Would it have passed with 100 percent of the vote?
REAL QUICK
10 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 16-22, 2015
IT’S EASY FOR THOSE OF US ON THE OUTSIDE of the process and look at the $90 million capital improvement package for EverBank Field and cast aspersions. A narrative that has emerged: that Council didn’t “vet” the deal, that citizens were up in arms, and that the media was complicit in some grand attempt to sell the deal. The first point is debatable; the second point even more so; and the third is untrue, at least as far as Folio Weekly’s and the T-U’s news operations go. Weeks back, a column ran in this space: “Shad Khan Owns You.” It pissed off a lot of people, including people very close to Shad Khan, though not Shad himself, who has heard worse. And, also, because he knows there is some truth in the headline. Jacksonville has looked for a savior for a long time. Shad Khan, rebuffed in his attempts to acquire the Rams a couple of years before buying the Jaguars, was looking for a place where he didn’t have to be defined by the hardball Union busting of FlexN-Gate, a place where he could be branded with novelty fake mustaches, and get a rock star reaction. Shad was going to bring a winner here, the smart set said. The same smart set that thought Del Rio would be an upgrade on Coughlin. And so on. Jacksonville is still waiting on that winning football team, of course, but that’s beside the point. Jacksonville and Shad Khan are yoked. The last thing we want is for the rumors that the Jags could relocate to have credibility. Khan, meanwhile, sees a city with untapped resources and potential, one in which he can have an investment stake at very agreeable terms. With that relationship in mind, even though the mayor’s office’s own estimates say that we have a 25 year obligation ahead of us paying off the last two rounds of stadium upgrades, and even though the bed tax we’ll be using to pay it off is “notoriously volatile,” the upgrade package was a done deal when it was introduced. Part of the reason for that: what is pejoratively called the Good Ol’ Boy network. A lot of the negotiations for the deal first happened long before there was any legislation advanced, between folks like Chief Administrative Officer Sam Mousa and Jags’ lobbyist Paul Harden.
AG Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com twitter/AGGancarski
DECEMBER 16-22, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11
COMMUNITY NEWS Heavyweight GATE and bantam-weight BEACH DINER square off over Atlantic Beach property
MEET PARKING LOT IN THE
Stan Jordan (left), and Barry Adeeb, Beach Diner co-owners.
12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 16-22, 2015
THE PLANNED GATE MEGA-STATION, LOOKING to be champion of the corner at 535 Atlantic Blvd. in Atlantic Beach, has been facing vocal community opposition since the Gate Petroleum Company purchased the land more than a year ago. In particular, Gate’s plans don’t sit well with the owners of Atlantic Beach’s beloved Beach Diner, which happens to occupy the same corner where the proposed 14-pump station is expected to operate 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Area residents, in concert with the owners of Beach Diner, are looking to the city of Atlantic Beach to weigh in and serve as their corner man in this neighborhood rumble, but the city, bound by city code and fear of possible litigation, may well watch this bout from a few rows back. The Atlantic Palms Plaza, an aging, twostory commercial building, currently sits halfempty alongside Beach Diner on the tract of land purchased by Gate in October 2014. The shopping center had, in the last few years, flirted with foreclosure until finally being picked up by a holding company based in Dallas, Texas. Under said ownership, the property was never improved and Gate was able to purchase it for a bargain price of $900,000, the result of an approximate 15 percent discount due to the fact that Gate would have to honor the remaining active leases. One of those leases belongs to Beach Diner owner Barry Adeeb. Adeeb opened the now-popular diner in 1997 and states that the argument with his new landlord centers around the parking lot and the spaces the gas station will take away. “I am all for owner property rights,” says Adeeb. “But we came here 19 years ago to be part of this shopping plaza, not part of a gas station.” According to Adeeb, Gate knows exactly what is at stake and the effect it will have on Beach Diner. “They are planning on giving me 19 parking spaces. My employees alone will take up 12 of those spaces, which means I will have seven spaces for customers,” Adeeb deadpans. For Adeeb, that would be a deathblow.
Stan Jordan, Beach Diner co-owner alongside Mr. Adeeb, shares that the diner still has 12 years remaining on its lease, but with limited parking, the eatery would scarcely survive a quarter of that time. “Someone is trying to steal the livelihood of our employees and negate our presence in this community. Of course we are going to fight that,” Jordan says. He equates the battle to that of David versus Goliath, and states that this is a defining moment for the city of Atlantic Beach. Yet, definition itself may be what is convoluting the issues. The diner states that it is and has always been part of the shopping center, which through lease agreement, provides the diner access to the any of the current 80-plus spaces available in the shopping center parking lot. Adeeb states that Gate wants the diner defined as an outparcel, which would make it subject to the allotted 19 parking spaces. “Gate wants the city of Atlantic Beach to reverse its original decision to allow our business to open as part of the shopping center,” says Adeeb. Planning & Building Director for the city of Atlantic Beach Jeremy Hubsch says that the question of definition is no question at all, because parking spaces are tied to square footage, according to city code. “If the [twostory] building is razed, it negates the need for all of the parking spaces it currently must provide,” states Hubsch. More important, according to Hubsch, the gas station is permitted use without exception. He adds, “The city cannot renege on what is clearly stated in the city code. We must apply the code equitably to all.” The group of dissenting community members — which consists of many residents of the neighborhood that buttresses up to the parcel — want that equity to take them into account as well. Atlantic Beach Cares (ABC) — a group which describes itself on its Facebook page as “citizens trying to help save the Beach Diner and create public awareness
around all the dangers of a proposed 24x7 Gate mega-gas station” — says Gate will have a negative impact on the residential community in the form of excessive noise, light pollution, dangerous traffic and an increase in criminal activity due to the late hours of operation. ABC members, donning highlighter-yellow shirts emblazoned with a struck-through Gate logo on the back, turned out in droves at the last city of Atlantic Beach Commission meeting on Nov. 23. Their major outcry was that this project was not vetted by the Community Development Board (CDB) and that no project of this size and scope should be decided by city staff members, absent the City Commission with or without the input of the CBD. Hubsch states that the CBD reviews and makes recommendations on applications for variances, use-byexemption and rezonings, none of which are applicable to the proposed Gate project. Adeeb, however, says, “The situation demands, at minimum, a public hearing. This is yet another gas station, and a huge one at that, in a residential community.” He adds that the same city code that protects businesses also protects the city with specific language on unnecessary duplication and hazardous materials. For its part, Gate is simply waiting, albeit with the gloves of litigation fastened and ready, sure that any deviance away from the exact letter of the city code will be met with swift, aggressive and justified legal action. Its public position, shared for this article in an email, is that the “… goal has been, and continues to be, to revitalize the property by complying to all zoning and code requirements and designing a facility that is sensitive to the character of the neighborhood.” As the fight enters the later rounds, Beach Diner is standing steady, Gate has yet to deliver the haymaker and the city has yet to wager on who will get knocked out. Josue Cruz mail@folioweekly.com
DECEMBER 16-22, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 13
REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS are facing their most SERIOUS THREATS in decades.
IS ANYONE PAYING ATTENTION?
14 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 16-22, 2015
THE
COST OF
SILENCE story by claire goforth
Two score and nearly three years ago, the highest court in the land ruled that women have the right to terminate their pregnancies. Although abortion is always a polarizing talking point in elections, many believe that its supporters have been lulled into a false sense of security by several decades of reproductive freedom when, in reality, those freedoms are facing some of the most serious threats in decades. CONTINUED NEXT PAGE >>> DECEMBER 16-22, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15
HOW OUR LEADERS CHOSE ON THIS ISSUE K
nowledge is power. Voters for whom reproductive rights are an important issue should pay attention to how their representatives are supporting — or eroding — abortion rights and access.
Florida Unborn Victims of Violence Act (2014)*
24 hour waiting period/“Informed Patient Consent” (2015)
THE
Termination of Pregnancies**
COST OF
SILENCE
AARON
BEAN,
District 4
FLORIDA STATE SENATORS
<<<<<< FROM PPREVIOUS REVIOOUSS RE
CHARLES S.
DEAN, SR., District 5 TRAVIS
HUTSON, District 6 ROB
BRADLEY, District 7 AUDREY
GIBSON, District 9
ELIZABETH W.
PORTER, District 10 JANET H.
ADKINS, District 11
Sponsor
LAKE
RAY,
District 12 REGGIE
FULLWOOD, FLORIDA STATE LEGISLATORS
District 13 MIA L.
JONES,
District 14 JAY
FANT,
District 15 CHARLES
MCBURNEY, District 16 CYNDI
STEVENSON, District 17 TRAVIS W.
CUMMINGS, District 18
Co-introduced
Co-sponsor
Co-introduced
Co-sponsor
CHARLES
VAN ZANT, District 19 PAUL
RENNER, District 24
* Does not provide exception for fetuses unable to survive outside the womb. ** Restricts third trimester abortion to either life-threatening or “substantial and irreversible physical impairment” would result in carrying to term.
16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 16-22, 2015
N/A: Not in office at time of vote.
Gallup reports that four out of five Americans believe that abortion should be legal in at least some circumstances, but public outrage over ongoing efforts to restrict access has been weak at best. “A lot of women, especially, are taking it for granted. They were born in the ’70s; they grew up with it. Birth control has always been available, abortion has always been available,” says Terry Sanders, president of Florida National Organization for Women. It doesn’t help that pro-choice advocates have been less effective than their opponents at mobilizing supporters and framing the conversation. Abortion is quite a common procedure, but it’s still taboo to talk about it publicly — despite the fact that Planned Parenthood reports one in three women will obtain an abortion in their lifetime. A recent campaign on social media, #ShoutYourAbortion, has encouraged women to tell the stories of their abortions in an effort to reduce the perceived social stigma. “We need to start telling our abortion stories, making people understand normal, everyday women that you know have had abortions; they’re not terrible, they’re not mean, they’re not baby-killers, many of them have other children,” says Sanders. “... I’ve had an abortion. I have no regrets. It was early; it was a medical procedure to me.” Here in the Sunshine State, the threat to reproductive freedom is veritable; in recent years, the Republican-controlled legislature has passed several laws that restrict a woman’s access to abortion. Last year, Governor Rick Scott signed legislation that required a 24hour waiting period before a woman could obtain an abortion. The Orlando Sentinel reported that the bill’s sponsor, Rep. Jennifer Sullivan, R-District 31, said the waiting period “would ‘empower’ women by giving them more time to reflect before making such momentous decisions.” Laura Goodhue, Planned Parenthood vice president of public policy for South Florida and the Treasure Coast, disagrees. “Women have a deeply personal decision that is individual to every woman and we feel that once a woman has come to that decision in her life, she doesn’t need politicians telling her she has to wait another 24 hours ... We feel that this is an intrusion of politicians into the doctor/patient relationship,” Goodhue says. At nearly the 11th hour, just a day before the legislation went into effect, it was blocked by the courts for violating Florida’s right to privacy under the state constitution. Undeterred, legislators continue to wage a war of attrition on reproductive freedom; there are already six bills concerning abortion before the Florida legislature for the 2016 session. Nationally — and locally — access to abortion is more limited than it has been in four decades and there is no sign of that trend abating. In May, Gallup reported that “[s]tate lawmakers have passed more than 200 regulations on abortion since 2010, after Republicans gained control of many state legislatures.”
Northeast Florida is represented by some particularly adamant anti-abortionists. Every year since 2010, local Rep. Charles Van Zant, R-District 19, has proposed the Florida for Life Act, which would outlaw abortion in all cases except those in which the mother is at risk of death or serious, permanent bodily injury. And this act does not provide any exception for pregnancies resulting from rape or incest. Van Zant’s effort to magically overturn U.S. Supreme Court jurisprudence through state legislation may be more of an annual symbolic show of opposition than a serious piece of legislation, but he is just one voice in what some feel is a rising tide of politicians committed to diminishing, and possibly eliminating, reproductive freedom. In 2014, Florida passed a bill sponsored by local Rep. Janet Adkins, R-District 11, (co-sponsors include Van Zant and Rep. Travis Cummings, R-District 18) which
Also in 2014, Florida lawmakers passed the Unborn Victims of Violence Act, which created criminal penalties for crimes against a woman that cause the death of her unborn child. The law was opposed by Democrats, likely because it does not differentiate between acts causing the death of a fetus at even the earliest stages of development, and does not include any requirement of intent or knowledge of the pregnancy to trigger criminal penalties. Under the law, it is possible for an individual who intentionally assaults a woman who is in the very earliest stages of pregnancy — even if no one, not the perpetrator nor even the woman herself, is aware of the
pregnancy — causing her to miscarry, to be charged with capital murder, and possibly executed, for causing the fetus’ death, even if the woman herself suffers no physical harm aside from the miscarriage. This is a direct departure from common law principles that required a fetus to draw breath outside the womb to trigger penalties for harming it. (Also under common law, abortion was legal prior to the time of “quickening,” which is characterized by a fetus’ first movements in the womb.) There are two pieces of legislation up for consideration by the Florida Legislature in 2016 that closely mirror the Texas law that has been widely reported to have led to the
shuttering of more than half of that state’s abortion providers. One of these laws, which was cosponsored by Van Zant and local Rep. Jay Fant, R-District 15, would require doctors who perform abortions to have admitting privileges at a hospital within 30 miles of their office; the other would require clinics where abortions are performed to adhere to the same standards as those who perform ambulatory surgical procedures. Planned Parenthood estimates that this legislation would lead to the closing of half
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“It is really disturbing to see the kind of HATEFUL RHETORIC about Planned Parenthood, about the women who come to us, about the doctors who provide health care. It’s very hard to see these kinds of VIOLENT INCIDENTS that I think sometimes this rhetoric fuels.”
— PLANNED PARENTHOOD CEO CECILE RICHARDS outlaws third trimester abortions unless a physician certifies in writing that “the termination of the pregnancy is necessary to save the pregnant woman’s life or avert a serious risk of substantial and irreversible physical impairment of a major bodily function of the pregnant woman other than a psychological condition.” DECEMBER 16-22, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17
THE
COST OF
SILENCE <<< << << FROM PRE PREVIOUS REVIOUS of Florida’s 65 abortion providers. Goodhue says that they believe the intent of the law is to close clinics, not protect women’s health. Last year, the American Medical Association and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists filed an amici curiae brief opposing those Texas laws, stating, “[T]here is simply no medical basis for requiring that abortion facilities meet the standards for ambulatory surgical centers (“ASC requirement”) or for enforcing a local admitting privileges requirement against abortion providers (“privileges requirement”). [This law] does not serve the health of women in Texas but instead jeopardizes women’s health by restricting access to abortion providers.” Goodhue noted that it does not serve any legitimate public safety purpose to require clinics to adhere to ambulatory surgical center standards, and that it is difficult, if not impossible, for abortion providers to get admitting privileges to hospitals, because of the relative rarity of complications as evidenced by extremely low rates of hospital admissions following abortion. “Abortion is a safe and legal procedure and admitting is less than 1 percent,” she says. In the four decades since Roe v. Wade, the controversial Supreme Court case that legalized abortion, opposition to abortion has been characterized by highly charged rhetoric, legislation and legal challenges designed to restrict it, and acts of violence against abortion providers and support personnel. On Nov. 27, a lone gunman took the lives of three people at a Planned Parenthood clinic in Colorado Springs, Colorado. It was the first such killing since physician and abortion provider George Tiller was gunned down in Wichita, Kansas in 2009. For many, the killings in Colorado underscored tensions that have been escalating since last summer’s release of the now-discredited, highly doctored video that purportedly showed Planned Parenthood executives discussing the sale of fetal tissue. The killings were widely condemned by advocates on both sides of the debate, but some believe that abortion’s opponents deserve part of the blame for escalating emotions by making misleading and, in some cases, inaccurate statements about abortion providers, procedures and advocates. As Planned Parenthood CEO Cecile Richards told CNN on AC360 last week, “It is really disturbing to see the kind of hateful rhetoric about Planned Parenthood, about the women who come to us, about the doctors who provide health care. It’s very hard to see 18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 16-22, 2015
“[The 24-HOUR WAITING PERIOD on abortions legislation] would ‘empower’ women by giving them more TIME TO REFLECT before making such momentous decisions.”
— STATE REPRESENTATIVE JENNIFER SULLIVAN R-DISTRICT 31
these kinds of violent incidents that I think sometimes this rhetoric fuels.” Harsh rhetoric, an onslaught of legislation that restricts access and lackluster backlash from reproductive rights supporters have led some to conclude that reproductive freedom is more at risk than it has been in recent history. “From day one, abortion has been a huge battle, a continued battle since Roe v. Wade,” says Sanders. Gallup reported in May that 21 percent of Americans say that they will vote only for candidates who share their personal views on abortion, the highest percentage in the organization’s 19 years of polling this issue. Among registered voters, that percentage is somewhat lower, at 19 percent, but “even among registered voters, the importance of abortion is higher than Gallup has found most years.” Yet advocates and voters have been slow to publicly hold accountable those politicians who restrict reproductive freedom. “The biggest and most important thing that they can do is look at who they’re voting for and make it a higher priority ... in Florida, it’s very difficult to find pro-choice Republicans,” Sanders says. Claire Goforth mail@folioweekly.com
Last minute
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DECEMBER 16-22, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 19
A+E // FILM
WHALE OF A
Ron Howard’s backstory that inspired MOBY-DICK leaves us with a sinking feeling
FAIL
T
here have been great movies made about man’s encounters with the powers of nature while lost at sea. In the Heart of the that inspired Moby Dick, we’re told), so it Sea is not one of them. seems careless not to explore it. The flashback structure is one of its In 1820, a younger Thomas (Tom Holland) many problems. In 1850, young author was a 14-year-old lad on his first seagoing Herman Melville (Ben Whishaw) bribes excursion aboard the Essex whaling ship out Tom Nickerson (Brendan Gleeson), a retired of Nantucket, Massachusetts. With whale oil sailor, to discuss a voyage he’d endured 30 prices at a premium, Captain George Pollard years earlier. This voyage, Melville suspects, (Benjamin Walker) and First Mate Owen included a giant sperm whale attacking men Chase (Chris Hemsworth) lead the crew out at sea, leaving them stranded for months to sea, not to return until they’ve filled 2,000 with little hope of survival. Nothing like that barrels with whale oil, which could take had ever happened — so it’d be great story years. Pollard, who got material if Thomas provides the details. IN THE HEART OF THE SEA this command through nepotism, and Chase, who Director Ron Howard **@@ deserves the command (A Beautiful Mind) and Rated PG-13 and is clearly the more screenwriter Charles competent seaman and Leavitt (Blood Diamond) leader, butt heads as they travel the world, infuriate us by initially having Thomas with little success in their quest. resist telling the story. Why? Because it was Later, after getting word that a pod of whales hard, we surmise from Thomas’ reaction. Of is in the outer reaches of the Atlantic Ocean, course it was hard. Melville wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t hard. Now stop wasting our time Pollard leads the Essex into uncharted waters, and get to the parts the trailers have been not realizing there’s also a 100-foot-long sperm promising for months. This is an adventure whale there, seemingly defending its kin against that can sell millions of books (it’s the story humans, making for some nasty encounters.
ANT HILLS & VIRAL THRILLS Graphic designer Saul Bass created some of the most famous logos of the 20th century, including those for AT&T, Continental Airlines, and Quaker Oats, plus many, many more. He also created some of the most memorable title sequences in the history of American film; five of the more than 50 films that bear his trademark are Psycho, North by Northwest, West Side Story, Spartacus and Vertigo. Though he also directed seven short subjects, even winning an Oscar for his 1968 documentary Why Man Creates, Bass helmed only one feature film, Phase IV (1974), which has just recently made its way to Blu-ray. Noteworthy alone because of Bass, the film is also one of the oddest apocalyptic films of the ’70s, which is saying quite a lot for the decade that birthed John Boorman’s Zardoz, Richard Fleischer’s Soylent Green, L.Q. Jones’s A Boy and His Dog, Louis Malle’s Black Moon, and Robert Altman’s Quintet, among many others. Essentially a three-person film, Phase IV is about the world in danger of being destroyed by ants, which, due to some cosmological phenomenon marking Phase I in the opening sequence, have developed a high intelligence. Fighting the inimical insects in an experimental station in the American desert are two scientists, Dr. Ernest Hubbs (Nigel Davenport) and James Lesko (Michael Murphy), joined by 20 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 16-22, 2015
Kendra, a 16-year-old girl (Lynne Frederick) whose family fell afoul of the tiny creatures. Featuring incredible microphotography by Ken Middleham, who did similar service in the Oscar-winning documentary The Hellstrom Chronicle (’71), Phase IV creates a claustrophobic paranoia despite its absurd premise. Always-reliable English actor Davenport is especially good, Murphy’s fine, and pretty 20-year-old Frederick (the future and last Mrs. Peter Sellers, and Mrs. David Frost) is suitably ornamental. The film’s original ending, a bizarre, indecipherable hallucinogenic sequence meant to define the phase of the title, was trimmed by the producers before the release and, sad to say, doesn’t make it to the Blu-ray, either. Interested viewers and film nuts (like me) can find it on YouTube, though, though its exclusion from the movie itself does little more than reduce head-scratching. As Saul Bass proved with his many masterful title sequences, a little can go a long way. The producers were probably right this time. Seeing Davenport and Frederick together reminded me of an even earlier ’70s apocalyptic film in which they appeared, she at the mere age of 16. No Blade of Grass, based on a novel by British author John Christopher, shows the world wracked by riot and starvation as Earth’s grasslands are systematically destroyed by some kind of virus, apparently engendered by pollution. Together with his wife and daughter (Frederick), John Custance (Davenport, sporting a nifty eyepatch) tries to make it to the north of England where his brother has an enclave.
This would lend itself well to visual effects and action, right? Wrong. The action is rarely impressive and often muddled. It’s also not always necessary, such as early on when Pollard takes the Essex into a storm to “test the men,” which, when translated from a Hollywood screenplay, means “to insert an extended big-budget visual effects sequence for no good reason.” The flashback structure never lends worthwhile perspective to the story and, more appallingly, there’s plenty Thomas does not — and could not have — witnessed that’s included, meaning the entire framework of the narrative is at best disingenuous, a worst a lie. What’s more, director Ron Howard struggles to capture a sense of urgency within the crew, despite the life-or-death stakes. There should be a strong narrative drive that keeps our rapt attention, but it’s all just kind of meh, culminating in one of the flattest endings to an action/historical drama you’ll ever see. Better yet, don’t see it. Dan Hudak mail@folioweekly.com
MAGIC LANTERNS
As civilization goes to hell in a handbasket, the Custance family is forced to resort to any means possible to reach safety. Former leading man Cornel Wilde, who had already proved his directorial skills in Sword of Lancelot (1963) and, particularly, in The Naked Prey (1965), follows in the footsteps of another actor/director, Ray Milland, who’d successfully explored the post-apocalypse scene in his effort, Panic in Year Zero! (1962). Whereas Milland’s film was small in terms of its budget and its ambition but nonetheless effective, Wilde goes all out to disturb and shock us. The violence and sex are more graphic, the editing far more experimental, and the conclusion considerably less hopeful. The contrast between Milland’s and Wilde’s films (otherwise similar in plot) is a textbook illustration of how the movies changed in the crucial decade of the ’60s, as far as permissiveness and subject matter are concerned. Include Phase IV to that, and we see the profound influence of 2001 as well. Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com
DECEMBER 16-22, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 21
FILM LISTINGS FILM RATINGS
DONALD FAGEN **** DONALD BARTHELME ***@ DONALD PLEASANCE **@@ DONALD TRUMP *@@@
IMAX THEATER n the Heart of the Sea, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2, The Polar Express and Rocky Mountain Express screen at World Golf Hall of Fame IMAX Theater, St. Johns, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com. Star Wars The Force Awakens starts Dec. 17.
NOW SHOWING
SUN-RAY CINEMA Krampus and The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2 screen at 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. Die Hard screens Dec. 10. Room starts Dec. 11. White Christmas screens Dec. 13.
BRIDGE OF SPIES **@@ Rated PG-13 The script by Matt Charman and Joel and Ethan Coen is divided like a theatrical production. Beginning in 1957, the first and more interesting segment follows insurance lawyer Jim Donovan (Tom Hanks) as he defends accused Russian spy Rudolf Abel (Mark Rylance) from charges of treason and espionage. Jim is an insurance counselor doing a defense attorney’s job – this is based on a true story. Jim’s legal partners (Alan Alda, John Rue), the CIA, FBI, the presiding judge (Dakin Matthews) and Jim’s wife Mary (Amy Ryan), daughters and son want it all to be for show and for Rudolf to not receive a fair trial. Jim stands by his client’s constitutional rights and does his best for the Russian. — Dan Hudak
THE CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ Fishing Without Nets and Ricki & the Flash, through Dec. 10. Christmas with the Kranks runs noon and 6 p.m. Dec. 10. 3 Tenors Christmas Opera, 7:30 p.m. Dec. 11. Wildlike and A Midwinter’s Tale start Dec. 11. The Polar Express, noon Dec. 12. 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com.
BROOKLYN Rated PG-13 Eilis Lacey (Saoirse Ronan) is a young Irish woman just relocated to 1950s Brooklyn. She meets Tony (Emory Cohen) and falls in love. Then something needs her attention back in Ireland and she has to pick her life – here or there? Costars the awesome Julie Walters, as well as Domhnall Gleeson, Jim Broadbent and Brid Brennan.
SCREENINGS AROUND TOWN
A CHRISTMAS STORY The film that made kids stick their tongues on a frozen surface is screened 7 p.m. Dec. 11 at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340C A1A S., free with donation of at least one canned food item per person, 209-0367, staugamphitheatre.com. The Muppet Christmas Carol screens 6 p.m., Christmas Vacation 7:45 p.m. Dec. 12.
BY THE SEA Rated R This drama costars Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Pitt, who also directed. A writer and his wife are having a tough go of it in the beautiful French countryside, apparently near the sea. Boo-effing-hoo. I just can’t buy a story of woe from these incredibly rich superstars. CHI-RAQ Rated R Director Spike Lee offers an updated take on Aristophanes’ drama Lysistrata, with an amazing cast – Nick Cannon, Teyonah Parris, Wesley Snipes, Angela Bassett, Samuel L. Jackson, John Cusack, Jennifer Hudson, D.B. Sweeney, Dave Chappelle – amid the violence in Chicago, challenging the racism and sexism it foments. CREED Rated PG-13 “Yo, (mumble, mumble) can’t sing or dance.” Apollo Creed’s son Adonis (played by Michael B. Jordan) thinks he wants to be a boxer like his father, whom he never knew. So he goes looking for that lovable palooka Rocky Balboa (do we even have to tell you he’s played by Sylvester Stallone?) in Philly. Costars Phylicia Rashad, Max Kellerman, Jim Lampley, Elvis Grant and Tessa Thompson. THE GOOD DINOSAUR **@@ Rated PG Director Peter Sohn takes a novel premise – that dinosaurs lived long enough to experience the dawn of humankind – and does little with it besides repeatedly rip off The Lion King. The story begins with the birth of an Apatosaurus named Arlo (Jack McGraw as the baby, Raymond Ochoa as the older version). The runt
of the litter, he pales in comparison to his rapscallion brother and smarter sister. His parents (voiced by Jeffrey Wright and Frances McDormand) always believe in him, and help him conquer his fears. To help him man up (or dinosaur up), Poppa takes him on a long walk, gives him sage advice … and then gets killed, leaving the dino-baby on his own and unable to get home to Momma. Arlo befriends a human boy, whom he calls Spot, and some T-Rexes (voiced by Sam Elliott, Anna Paquin, and A.J. Buckley). Pterodactyls (one is voiced by Steve Zahn) and Velociraptors (one of which is voiced by Pixar stalwart John Ratzenberger) try to eat them. Obstacles are overcome, lessons are learned the hard way. — Dan Hudak THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY - PART 2 ***G Rated PG-13 The series has given us a look at a world in which women are presumed to be as capable and as authoritative as men, and has delved deeply into the potent influence of propaganda. world-changing heroine more human than most of them: more conflicted, more unsure, more afraid yet also more brave in overcoming all that … while simultaneously more principled and more selfish. Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) has never been about some romantic, idealistic notion of heroism. KRAMPUS Rated PG-13 Didn’t get the present you wanted for the holidays? No matter; just conjure a yuletide demon to your happy home, sit back and enjoy the consequences. The comedy/horror film costars Adam Scott, Toni Collette, Emjay Anthony, David Koechner and Conchata Ferrell. THE LETTERS Rated PG The compelling drama about the dedicated nun Mother Teresa, who strived to help the poor and oppressed worldwide, is based on her lifelong correspondence with her friend and guide, Father Celeste van Exem. It costars Juliet Stevenson, Rutger Hauer and Max Von Sydow. LOVE THE COOPERS Rated PG-13 The holidays are stressful enough as it is, what with trying to find the perfect gift for someone you don’t give a rat’s ass about … here the idyllic celebration the Cooper family strives for is a chaotic charade, until surprising things begin to happen. Costars Olivia Wilde, Amanda Seyfried, Marisa Tomei, Diane I’m-always-in-myAnnie-Hall-mode Keaton, John Goodman, Ed Helms, and the incomparable Alan Arkin, who was so great opposite John Cusack in High Fidelity. THE NIGHT BEFORE Rated R Nothing like the lovely wistful Beatles song. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Anthony Mackie and the ubiquitous Seth Rogen ferret out top-shelf Christmas Eve parties every year as they prowl NYC. THE PEANUTS MOVIE ***@ Rated G Two of the three credited screenwriters are Craig Schulz and Bryan Schulz, the son and grandson of Peanuts cartoonist Charles Schulz. It’s clear from the outset that director Steve Martino isn’t interested in shaking up the Peanuts universe too radically. Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Lucy, and Linus still occupy an adultfree world, one where Snoopy still writes his novels on a manual typewriter. Charlie Brown (voiced by Noah Schnapp) is still hapless and anxiety-ridden, and it’s from that foundation that the story emerges. The Little Red-Haired Girl has just moved to town, and Charlie Brown is desperate to impress her, and terrified of interacting with her. — Scott Renshaw A SECOND CHANCE Not Rated The Danish import questions morality and boundaries – and at what point we cross them. Costars Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Thomas Bo Larsen, Ulrich Thomsen and Maria Bonnevie; in Danish and Swedish. SECRET IN THEIR EYES **@@ Rated PG-13 In this dull thriller, three friends, played by Nicole Kidman, Julia Roberts and Chiwetel Ejiofor, are investigating the murder of Carolyn Cobb (Zoe Graham), who was district attorney investigator Jess’ (Roberts) teenage daughter. It’s now a cold case and the lead investigator, Ray (Ejiofor), is so convinced the killer is a guy named Marzan (Joe Cole), there’s no room for mystery. SPECTRE **@@ Rated PG-13 The action movie – fourth in a reinvigorated-for-the-21st-century Bond franchise – begins with the secret agent and a woman amid the crowds of Day of the Dead revelers in Mexico City. But the thin plot never catches fire. Bond (Daniel Craig) went rogue, chasing a bad guy around the globe, while back in London, the new M (Ralph Fiennes) fights with C (Andrew Scott), who’s about to launch a new electronic surveillance scheme to replace the Double Zed program: something about drone warfare being more efficient than spies with a licence to kill. Costars Christoph Waltz, Léa Seydoux and Monica Bellucci. — MaryAnn Johanson SPOTLIGHT **** Rated R Inspired by a January 2002 report in The Boston Globe, about the sex abuse scandal that rocked the Catholic Church in 2002, the film follows the Globe’s investigative Spotlight team as it researches sexual abuse by priests in the Boston area and the widespread knowledge and cover-up by people in power, including Cardinal Bernard Law (Len Cariou). The Spotlight team includes editor Walter “Robby” Robinson (Michael Keaton) and reporters Mike Rezendes (Mark Ruffalo), Sacha Pfeiffer (Rachel McAdams) and Matt Carroll (Brian d’Arcy James). Costars Liev Schreiber and John Slattery. — D.H. TRUMBO ***G Rated R Reviewed in this issue. VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN Rated PG-13 This newest drama/ horror film version is told from the viewpoint of the doctor’s assistant Igor (Daniel Radcliffe), who is waaay better looking but not as funny as Marty Feldman. This is the “backstory” – a word that simply means the history of or, actually, the story – of how Igor and Dr. Frankenstein (James McAvoy) became partners in human re-creation.
22 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 16-22, 2015
A+E // FILM
SISTERS puts the perfect FEY/POEHLER pairing in an imperfect set-up
ROLE REVERSAL I
conflicts and disappointments of adolescence, f modern film history introduced the notion and sometimes find it hard to break free from of the “high-concept” movie — one where them. Sisters occasionally pokes its nose into you can sell it to an audience based on that territory, partly through supporting a one-sentence plot summary — we might characters like a classmate (Maya Rudolph) also need a name for a concept that’s actually who can’t shake her high-school rivalry with higher than high-concept. That’s when a Kate, and another (Bobby Moynihan) who movie is effectively defined by its title and still tries way too hard to be the comedian. the casting of the lead actors — like “Chris Even the performances by Poehler and Fey Rock is Head of State,” or “Dwayne Johnson are at their strongest when Maura and Kate is the Tooth Fairy,” or perhaps the non plus are exploring the roles they never took on as ultra of this notion, “Arnold Schwarzenegger teenagers — the popular party girl, and the and Danny DeVito are Twins.” It’s marketing one who has to clean up after the popular distilled to its purest form, understanding party girl, respectively. that moviegoers want to see the performers But Pell was also a longtime writer for they like, and they want to know what they’re Saturday Night Live, and Sisters does often going to see those performers do. feel, in the way of so many contemporary On one level, Sisters feels like a broad comedies, like a series of sketches continuation of that tradition, since “Tina rather than a cohesive movie. Plenty of those Fey and Amy Poehler are Sisters” has been sketches are aces, as Pell and director Jason enough to make fans of the ex-Saturday Moore (Pitch Perfect) make use of their stars’ Night Live castmates giddy at the prospect skills for goofy bits, like Maura’s repeated of seeing them work together, and work inability to pronounce the name of a Korean through a dramatized sibling rivalry. You beauty salon employee. And might even have a sense for the John Cena gets yet another kind of character each will play, SISTERS scene-stealing showcase, hot perhaps based on their on**G@ on the heels of Trainwreck, screen dynamic in Baby Mama. Rated R that proves his comedic chops. It should be to the credit of With few exceptions, however everyone involved that Sisters — like a particularly awkward moment goes another way — and maybe it would have between Maura and the guy she’s trying to been, if that other way had worked for both woo (Ike Barinholtz) — the scenes generally stars in the same way. feel like punch lines in search of something to Because instead of casting Fey as the hold them all together. together-if-high-strung sibling and Poehler There’s also that little matter of the as the inveterate screw-up, screenwriter Paula characters Poehler and Fey are playing, Pell flips the script. Poehler plays Maura Ellis, which seems like a clever notion on the recently divorced but still the one who checks surface. The problem is that Poehler is in regularly with her parents (Dianne Wiest a far more versatile actor than Fey, able and James Brolin) and tries to take care of to be thoroughly convincing as both the everyone; Fey is Kate Ellis, a single mom who control freak and the just-plain-freak. Fey is can’t hold down a job. When their parents announce that they’re selling the Orlando incredibly funny and talented, but it’s hard house where the sisters grew up, they head to buy her as a slacker; it feels at times as home to clear out their things. But instead though she’s playing a smart person’s parody of saying goodbye to their past, they opt to of the girl who peaked at 17. While the re-live it in the form of a huge party with chemistry between Poehler and Fey is too their former high school friends, only with a delicious not to provide some fun moments, they’re not interchangeable parts in their personality exchange: Maura will get to be the comedic partnership. When the concept is wild thing, and Kate will have to stay sober high, sometimes the expectations are, too. and responsible. Scott Renshaw It’s a terrific premise, rich with possibilities mail@folioweekly.com at exploring how people mythologize the joys, DECEMBER 16-22, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23
+ EVENTS ARTS ARTS + EVENTS PERFORMANCE
ART VENTURES RECIPIENTS The Community Foundation showcases fi ve 2015 Art Ventures grant recipients presenting short films, performances and presentations about their current work, 6:30-8 p.m. Dec. 17 at Museum of Contemporary Art (MOCA) Jacksonville, 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911, mocajacksonville.com. Presenters include filmmaker Ana Paula Habib, screening Indian River Lagoon: A Vanishing Estuary; Tony Walsh, performing a theater piece from Southern Stories; mosaic artist Kate Garcia Rouh, screening a video and discussing her work; filmmaker Patrick Barry discussing his process; and Daryl Reuben Hall presenting songs from his play Drawn from the Water. Artist Jim Draper emcees; 356-4483, jaxcf.org. AN IRISH CHRISTMAS This musical stage production, which features a journey of Christmas in Ireland through song and dance, and storytelling that touches on traditions of Irish mythology, is staged 7:30 p.m. Dec. 21 at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 Water St., Downtown, 442-2929, $15.50-$73.50, artistseriesjax.org. CONEY ISLAND CHRISTMAS Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre presents the comedic musical, about an older woman who tells her great-granddaughter what it means to be an American during the holidays, 8 p.m. Dec. 18 and 19; 2 p.m. Dec. 20 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, $20, 249-7177, abettheatre.com. A CHRISTMAS CAROL The acclaimed Charles Jones’ musical adaptation of Charles Dickens’ holiday classic, featuring dance and renditions of favorite holiday tunes, is staged 7:30 p.m. Dec. 22 at Times-Union Center’s Moran Theater, Downtown, 442-2929, $13.10-$48.65, artistseriesjax.org. KIDZ BOP LIVE Ashlynn, Bredia, Grant, and Matt, aka the kid-geared music sensation Kids Bop, bring their head-bangin’ tunes to town, 7 p.m. Dec. 18 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $25, floridatheatre.com. MIRACLE ON 34th STREET Santa Claus goes on trial when Amelia Community Theatre stages the holiday classic, about Kris Kringle’s believers and naysayers, 8 p.m. Dec. 17, 18 and 19 at 207/209 Cedar St., Fernandina Beach, 261-6749, $20; $10 students, ameliacommunitytheatre.org. CHARLOTTE’S WEB Amelia Musical Playhouse presents its stage adaptation of E.B. White’s beloved story, about Wilbur the pig, his friendship with Charlotte the spider, Templeton the rat and Fern, the little girl who loved them all, 7:30 p.m. Dec. 17-19 and 2:30 p.m. Dec. 20 at Amelia Musical Playhouse, 1955 Island Walkway, Fernandina Beach, 277-3455, $20; $10 students, ameliamusicalplayhouse.com. GODSPELL The groundbreaking musical, based on the Gospels parables, is staged 8 p.m. Dec. 17, 18, and 19 and 2 p.m. Dec. 20 at Players by the Sea, 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach, 249-0289, $28, playersbythesea.org. CHRISTMAS CAROLE Alhambra Theatre & Dining presents Bruce Allen Scudder’s musical adaptation of the tale of Ebenezer Scrooge’s yuletide redemption, through Dec. 24. Dinner 6 p.m.; brunch at noon, with Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menu; 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $35$55 plus tax, 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER The comedy, about holiday havoc that ensues when two unruly kids are cast in a Christmas play, is staged 7:30 p.m. Dec. 17, 18 and 19 and 2 p.m. Dec. 20 at Limelight Theatre, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, 825-1164, $15-$26; through Jan. 3, limelight-theatre.org.
of workshops with local and visiting improv musicianinstructors, held at Karpeles Manuscript Library Museum, 101 W. First St., Downtown; sessions begin Jan. 30; neusonics.org. ONE SPARK ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS One Spark 2016 is accepting Creator applications; onespark.com. ARTS IN THE PARK ENTRIES The annual limited, juried April event held at Atlantic Beach’s Johansen Park seeks applications; coab.us.
ART WALKS & MARKETS
WEDNESDAY MARKET Produce, arts, crafts, food, live music, 8 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Dec. 16, St. Johns Pier Park, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 347-8007, thecivicassociation.org. COMMUNITY FARMERS & ART MARKET Art, crafts, jewelry, 4-7 p.m. Dec. 16, 4300 St. Johns Ave., Riverside, 607-9935. DOWNTOWN FRIDAY MARKET Arts/crafts, local produce, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Dec. 18, Jacksonville Landing, 353-1188. RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET The last RAM of the year, with local/regional art, food, farmers’ row, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Dec. 19, featuring John Carver Band, Sweet Scarlett, and Roy Peak, under Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com.
through Jan. 24. Allegory of Fortune: Photographs by Amanda Rosenblatt, is on display through March 27. THE RITZ THEATRE & MUSEUM 829 N. Davis St., 807-2010, ritzjacksonville.com. Black Wings: American Dreams of Flight is on display through Jan. 17.
GALLERIES
ARCHWAY GALLERY & FRAMING 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-2222, archwaygalleryandframing.com. The opening reception for the exhibit Christmas in Florida, featuring live music by Jarrell Harris, is held 5-9 p.m. Dec. 18. The exhibit is on display through mid-January. THE ART CENTER COOPERATIVE Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 139, 2 Independent Dr., 233-9252, tacjacksonville.org. The Wildlife Jury Show, through Dec. 28. BREW FIVE POINTS 1024 Park St., Riverside, 374-5789, brewfivepoints.com. Humans: Sculptures & Drawings by Chip Southworth, is on display through December. FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928. The 15th annual Christmas Open House is open through Dec. 24. FLORIDA MINING GALLERY 5300 Shad Rd., Southside, 535-7252, floridamininggallery.com. Joe Segal – Permutations is on display. HASKELL GALLERY, JIA 741-3546, jiaarts.org. Face Forward, self-portraits by 30 local artists, through Dec. 28. HAWTHORN SALON 1011 Park St., Riverside, 619-3092, hawthornsalon.com. Subtle Alchemy: Eric Gillyard and Crystal Floyd is on display through December.
Comedian and self-professed biker/trucker JULIE SCOGGINS performs at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville Dec. 17-19 on the Southside.
CLASSICAL, CHOIR & JAZZ
CLASSICAL IN ST. AUGUSTINE Southwest Florida Symphony Orchestra and vocalist Laura Woyasz perform Holiday Pops Concert at 7:30 p.m. Dec. 16 and 17 at Flagler College’s Lewis Auditorium, 14 Granada St., St. Augustine, 797-2800, $35, emmaconcerts.com. FIRST COAST NUTCRACKER A 40-year tradition, the Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra and local dancers present Tchaikovsky’s magical Christmas tale, 8 p.m. Dec. 18, 2 and 8 p.m. Dec. 19, and 2 p.m. Dec. 20 at Times-Union Center’s Moran Theater, Downtown, 354-5547, $18-50, jaxsymphony.org. HANDEL’S MESSIAH Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra performs Handel’s inspiring masterwork, 8 p.m. Dec. 19 at Times-Union Center’s Moran Theater, Downtown, 354-5547, $25-$74, jaxsymphony.org. THE TEN TENORS This vocal group, which has sold a staggering 90 million albums, performs at 8 p.m. Dec. 20 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $35-$65, floridatheatre.com. JAZZ IN ATLANTIC BEACH Guitarist Taylor Roberts plays 7-10 p.m. every Tue. and Wed. at Ocean 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060, ocean60.com.
COMEDY
JULIE SCOGGINS Scoggins, who’s been on Last Comic Standing and Blue Collar Comedy, performs a Christmasthemed show, 8 p.m. Dec. 17 and 18; 8 and 10:30 p.m. Dec. 19 at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-4277, jacksonvillecomedy.com. MICHAEL MACK The comic, who uses music, a lightshow, and puppets in his show, is on 8 p.m. Dec. 17; 8:30 and 10:30 p.m. Dec. 18; 8 and 10:15 p.m. Dec. 19 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, 292-4242, $10-$18, comedyzone.com.
CALLS & WORKSHOPS
(NEU) SONICS MUSIC INITIATIVE Experimental saxophonistcomposer Jamison Williams offers a six-week course
24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 16-22, 2015
NORTH BEACHES ART WALK Galleries of Atlantic and Neptune beaches are open 5-9 p.m. Dec. 17 and every third Thur. from Sailfish Drive in Atlantic Beach to Neptune Beach and Town Center, 753-9594, nbaw.org.
MUSEUMS
BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY PARK 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657, beachesmuseum.org. Naval Station Mayport: Guardian of the Southern Frontier Exhibit runs through Feb. 12. CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummermuseum.org. Conservation, Beautification, and a City Plan: Ninah Cummer and the Establishment of Jacksonville Parks is on display Dec. 19-Nov. 27. Julien De Casablanca: The Outings Project is on display through May 1. Rockwell Kent: The Shakespeare Portfolio is on display through May 15. David Hayes: The Sentinel Series, sculptures of geometrically abstract, organic forms, displays through Oct. 2. Women, Art & Social Change: The Newcomb Pottery Enterprise, 20th-century ceramics, through Jan. 2. KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992. New works by Mac Truque, through Jan. 2. Baseball: Origins & Early History, through December. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911, mocajacksonville.com. Project Atrium: Ian Johnston, Johnston’s Fish Tales, themes of consumption and material waste, through Feb. 28. Smoke and Mirrors: Sculpture & The Imaginary, 3D and installation works by sculptors Chul Hyun Ahn, James Clar, Patrick Jacobs, Ken Matsubara, Daniel Rozin, and Kathleen Vance,
J. JOHNSON GALLERY 177 Fourth Ave. N., Jax Beach, 435-3200, jjohnsongallery.com. Christina Hope’s underwater photography, Water Angels, through Jan. 21. MONYA ROWE GALLERY 4 Rohde Ave., St. Augustine, 217-0637, monyarowegallery.com. Out of Place, by Larissa Bates, Natasha Bowdoin, Vera Iliatova, Giordanne Salley, Dasha Shiskin, through Dec. 20. STELLERS GALLERY AT PONTE VEDRA BEACH 240 A1A N., Ste. 13, 273-6065, stellersgallery.com. Landscape: Realism to Abstraction, by Henry Von Genk III, Ellen Diamond, John Schuyler, exhibits through December.
EVENTS
STERLING’S BIRTHDAY BASH Beaches-area fixture Sterling Joyce hosts his annual birthday party and BEAM fundraiser in a salute to New York-themed gala, 6 p.m. Dec. 16 at Historic Casa Marina Hotel, 691 N. First St., Jax Beach. Live music by Be Easy and Pierre & Company and a fashion show are featured. Admission is an unwrapped toy or book valued at $10 or more for ages 4-14, and canned goods. 270-0025, sterlingjoycecharityfundraising.com. JAGS VS. FALCONS The Jacksonville Jaguars take on the Atlanta Falcons, 1 p.m. Dec. 20 at EverBank Field, Downtown, 633-6100, $42-$470, ticketmaster.com. RIVERSIDE AVONDALE LUMINARIA The 31st annual luminaria begins at dusk on Dec. 20 throughout the Riverside Avondale neighborhoods, riversideavondale.org. HOLIDAY TRAIN DISPLAY Museum of Science & History presents the display on its third floor, Dec. 17-Jan. 2, at 1025 Museum Cir., Southbank, 396-6674, themosh.org.
A+E // ARTS
The JAX OUTINGS project turns the entire city into an open-air museum
ART COMES OUT
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p to her elbow in wheat paste, Hope McMath, director of the Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, led a street-team over a four-day period in mid-November to plaster 40 reproductions of the museum’s collection on walls across Jacksonville. The Jax Outings project was inspired by the larger, global Outings project created by French artist and filmmaker, Julien de Casabianca who, inspired by initial “outings” in Jacksonville this past summer, decided to come spend a week in the Bold City to facilitate the frenzied undertaking. Described by McMath as “a guerrilla way to raise awareness surrounding street art and public art,” a street team, comprising 25 volunteers, spent a Wednesday night privately touring the Cummer collection. They were encouraged to use their smartphones to capture details and nuances in the paintings. Some minor background figures, barely an inch tall in a painting, became life-size protagonists. “All of this [was done] to make the Cummer’s collection into the city’s collection,” McMath beams. “We wanted to connect people, buildings, and the natural environment to the art.” That same evening, Jacksonville artist and photographer Doug Eng received a slew of text messages and emails from the street team and set about to print the attached photos. He continued to print nonstop for four days. The ink was the most expensive component of the process, according to McMath, but all of the materials used are commonplace in any home or office. “We deliberately wanted to keep this from being expensive and convoluted,” McMath explains.
The printed figures were then cut out of the white paper and the following Thursday, Friday, and Saturday saw a whirlwind enterprise of searching for walls to marry with the images. In the midst of it all, Julien de Casabianca managed to squeeze in a sold-out lecture at the Cummer, the proceeds from which served to offset the costs of the project. He also did seven of the outings in Jacksonville himself, two of which are the largest he has ever accomplished. By Saturday evening, an exhausted team had completed what it had set out to do: Set the art free in the community. McMath muses that she still has a few stashed in her car — works that are just waiting to find a home. The project will continue through the efforts of anyone who wants to spend the approximate $60 in materials for a life-sized outing. As for the location of the outings, McMath says, “Folks will have to keep an eye out. They will have to get out of their cars and walk around to find some of the most intriguing ones.” Josué Cruz mail@folioweekly.com _____________________________________ To view a listing of more than 50 current Jax Outings displays, visit The Cummer online at cummermuseum.org/jax-outings. DECEMBER 16-22, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25
A+E // MUSIC The third annual GIRLS ROCK JAX fundraiser is about to crank it up to 11
FOR THOSE ABOUT TO
ROCK! T
to help fill out the afternoon and add to the he CoRK Arts District will be the scene event experience. One such artist, Juanita of some serious rocking this weekend as Parkerurban, a member of the well-known, the third annual Girls Rock Jax Volunteer well-loved Parker Urban Band, will share Showcase and Silent Auction kick out the her sultry voice; she credits her involvement jams to raise funds that will directly benefit in the fundraiser directly to her experience Girls Rock Jax 2016 summer camp. The local volunteering last summer at the Girls Rock nonprofit organization will showcase a string Jax camps. of performances by previous campers, a “I did it all there this past summer and it number of volunteers who work the summer was awesome,” says Parkerurban. “I prepped camp, and a few professional ringers like food, set up equipment, and talked to girls Geexella, Ebony Payne, Honeycomb, and about picking up guitars and singing. But Juanita Parkerurban. Performances begin at the most fulfilling part was talking with the 1 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 20, and are sure to fill any girls about developing into what they should heart with warmth and compassion … and become, as opposed to what someone else melt your face with tasty licks. wants them to be.” The Girls Rock Jacksonville organization A musician since the age of two and a runs week-long camps during July, where professional since 2012, Parkerurban hopes girls ages 9-17 learn to play musical that the girls will discover the freedom of instruments, collaborate on songwriting, expression and the healing comfort that she form a band and perform at a culminating herself discovered in music. showcase. The local chapter “Truth be told, I only is an extension of the global GIRLS ROCK recently starting doing more Girls Rock Alliance, which JACKSONVILLE solo stuff and the girls at has chapters all of the U.S. and VOLUNTEER the camp this past summer Europe, and recently accepted SHOWCASE & SILENT encouraged me and gave a new chapter down in Brazil. AUCTION: GRJ me my first audience,” says Begun as the Rock ’n’ Roll VOLUNTEER AND Parkerurban. She hopes that Camp for Girls in Portland, CAMPER BANDS, GEEXELLA, EBONY her story can become part of Oregon in 2007, the alliance PAYNE, HONEYCOMB, the Girls Rock Jax story as the facilitates the model for JUANITA organization continues to grow. communities to embrace. PARKERURBAN Now in its third year, Here in Jacksonville, Girls 1-5 p.m. Dec. 20, CoRK Girls Rock Jax is hoping Rock Jax is run by a pair of Arts District, Riverside, to continue to activate and volunteers, Summer Wood sliding scale admission $0-$15 at the door, motivate young girls to pick and Sarah Humphreys, both of girlsrockjacksonville.org up an instrument and get to whom will be taking the stage rocking. Their mission — to during Sunday’s fundraiser. cultivate self-empowerment and positive “I became involved because of my interest identity development in girls, trans, and in social justice and Girls Rock Jacksonville has gender non-conforming youth through empowered me to actually play music alongside music experimentation, DIY media, and peer the girls in the camp,” says Humphreys. “A lot of collaboration — resonates soundly with the the volunteers have started playing music right young girls and parents in the community along with our campers.” who saw the organization launch at the 2013 The Volunteer Showcase was born from that One Spark Festival. shared interest in music. While some of the The fundraising event and performances campers will be playing at the fundraiser, it’s are open to the public and are family-friendly, sometimes difficult to schedule practice times with a sliding scale admission of $0 to $15 at and performances so far removed from their the door. “We are hoping to raise $3,000 to summer experience. That is why the showcase help 45 girls this summer,” says Humphreys, will feature the volunteer performances. The “so, Jacksonville, you now have plans for event accounts for most of the funding needed to run the summer camps. Sunday, Dec. 20 at 1 p.m.” For this reason, the team at Girls Rock Jax Josué Cruz has also tapped into some local professionals mail@folioweekly.com 26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 16-22, 2015
A+E // MUSIC
YOU DON’T KNOW ME (BUT I’M KRIS KRINGLE)
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here is just something about Michael McDonald’s voice that makes people happy. I know I break out my impression of it at least a couple times a week, and I bet I’m not alone. It’s soulful and full of emotion, and as instantly recognizable as Freddie Mercury’s, Roy Orbison’s, or Jackie Wilson’s. The fact that he’s not on Rolling Stone’s Top 100 Greatest Singers is, in fact, a travesty. McDonald took his timbre-mine of a voice from St. Louis to Los Angeles in the early ’70s, working mainly as a session musician and singer, until his big break, joining Steely Dan. From there, he jumped to The Doobie Brothers (also a travesty that they’re not in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame). Chances are — if you’re a GenXer or Millennial — you know him from this period; “Takin’ It to the Streets,” “What a Fool Believes,” and “It Keeps You Runnin’” are the standouts. His later solo works (“Sweet Freedom” and, of course, “I Keep Forgettin’”) weren’t too shabby, either, with millions of albums sold, particularly his Motown releases. McDonald is a five-time Grammy winner and has platinum albums on his wall (I don’t know if they’re actually on his wall; I didn’t ask him — but he has sold that many records). He’s worked with the likes of Ray Charles, Elton John, Aretha Franklin, and indie rockers Grizzly Bear. If he passed you on the street, you may not notice him, but if you heard even a few seconds of one of his songs, you would know that voice. Recently, McDonald spoke with Folio Weekly about the holidays, playing “I Keep Forgettin’” 10,000 times, and his alter-ego Camp Counselor. Folio Weekly: Holiday concerts have worked their way into your touring schedule the past few years. What is it about holiday music that speaks to you? Michael McDonald: First and foremost, we get to kind of break away from our normal routine. Growing up, I used to enjoy the holidays, and then for a little while there, as I became an adult, the holidays started to depress me, and I really didn’t understand why. Doing the two Christmas albums, and rearranging some Christmas songs, all of that sort of served to help me enjoy it again. Approaching them as a musician brought a certain level of enjoyment of the holidays back. The next step was to go out and perform. The idea that people will come out and watch and you’re celebrating the holidays with a bunch of people that you don’t know or wouldn’t necessarily celebrate with makes it fun. It’s just a different time of year where we get to play songs with subject matters that, I think, we don’t feel like we are hitting people over the head with the subject of peace and looking at life a little differently. The holidays are our excuse to get out there and play songs that reevaluate “what am I doing for peace in the world?” [and] “what am I doing for someone else?” and “how do I make my life worthwhile?” The holidays are the times to think about those things. We think about the people that aren’t here anymore, and when you get to be my age, you start to build quite a collection of those people. You realize that these people were such a gift to you, the fact that they were in your life, that they had the affect that they did, you know, when you’re growing up, these people you see at the holidays, sometimes you don’t appreciate it, because you think they’re going to be around forever, parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends. It’s a time to realize what a gift they
Doobie Brothers’ main man MICHAEL McDONALD brings his smooth R&B style to the holiday favorites
When you were starting out, playing in your first band, is that a world you ever saw yourself inhabiting? Um, I think the honest answer would be Did you have a favorite holiday song growing up, or is there one you play now yes, that was always a great desire of mine. that really resonates? I think I inherited my love of songs and I think one of the songs I enjoy playing during songwriters colloquially from my family. the Christmas season is “Have Yourself a They were all passionate about music, a Merry Little Christmas.” I remember that bunch of Irish-Catholics who loved to sing, song from being a kid, and it’s become a whether they could sing or not. It didn’t standard during holidays, but it’s one that, matter — they loved to do it. My dad had a beautiful voice. I grew up following him I think, speaks to the heart of the matter around, watching him sing in St. Louis bars, of what the holidays mean. We put a lot and I inherited his love of a great song and of religious emphasis on the holidays, but artists. Some of my fondest memories are we have to remember that everyone has a of driving around listening to his car radio. different view of that … What I think is the Whenever Nat King Cole or Ray Charles real commonality that we all share during came on, he would the holidays is that it crank it up; those seems to represent a time of reaching out MICHAEL McDONALD: This Christmas, were the songs he loved and that was the and getting together An Evening of Holiday & Hits 8 p.m. Dec. 19, Thrasher-Horne Center for the era. So I developed and making a point of Arts, Orange Park, $43-$297, thcenter.org a great love for that letting each other know music as a kid. I how we feel about actually remember each other, and we walking through the hallways of my aunt’s; try to share with those people, and just that she lived in an old apartment building that celebration of love and the human connection. had marble floors. I was kind of shuffling And I just play it on ukulele with my keyboard my feet in rhythm and singing a melody, I player, and it’s a point in the show where we must’ve been 11 years old or something like get to talk about the people we miss and those that. I remember stopping in the middle of who are no longer with us. doing that and thinking, “I can do this, I Your career has spanned decades, with could write a song.” In my classically Irishmultiple hit records and great songs and Catholic family, it was something I could do accomplishments. Do you find any challenges that would please everybody. Either that or a getting back out in front of crowds and priest or a gangster. playing “Taking It to the Streets” or “I Keep Forgetting,” or is it fresh for you still? Are the I don’t know if you know this, but you’re holiday shows a chance to take a break from one of the most impersonated musicians those sorts of things? on YouTube, with Jimmy Fallon and Justin No. If I was only playing those songs for Timberlake among the notables paying myself, I probably would’ve stopped playing homage. Have you seen any of these, and if them years ago. But, being a musician, so, what are your thoughts? Also, have you what makes the moment work for me is the seen the one about “Michael McDonald/ audience. It’s never the same experience. You Camp Counselor”? If not, I suggest you are in front of different groups of people, and check it out. their reaction to it is what the song becomes Ha, yes, I have seen that one. Nothing gets all about in that moment. When they react past my kids; they send me texts and make to a song in a way where you can feel their me watch everyone they see. I’ve been delight; that’s where all the power lies for me, dragged into some of those experiences in that moment. It isn’t like last night or the (youtube.com/watch?v=JeCD4bIkQwg) and 10,000 nights before, it’s about tonight, right it’s flattering at some level. At some point, here with these people. The songs take on when people stop listening to your albums, that life, that moment … that never gets old. you can always make it this way. You were recently nominated for induction Danny Kelly into the Songwriters Hall of Fame. Congrats. mail@folioweekly.com are, and so it’s a chance for us to get out and play music and send that message.
DECEMBER 16-22, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27
Oh, the seasonal merriment! Yuletide punk rock derelicts (we mean that as our highest holiday accolade) SANTA YOUTH (pictured) perform with THE COMA KIDS, CUTTING TEETH, and SMILE 4 at Shantytown Pub on Dec. 17 in Springfield.
LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK
SPADE McQUADE 6 p.m. Dec. 16 at Fionn MacCool’s Irish Pub, Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 176, Downtown, 374-1247. DENNY BLUE 6 p.m. Dec. 16 & 23 at Paula’s Beachside Grill, 6896 A1A S., St. Augustine, 471-3463. RYAN CRARY 6 p.m. Dec. 16 at Pusser’s Bar & Grille, 816 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach, 280-7766. J-LIVE, WILLIE EVANS JR., ND20/20, GEEXELLA, FOREIGN 8 p.m. Dec. 16, rain dogs., 1045 Park St., Riverside, 379-4969, $7. RICHARD SMITH 6 p.m. Dec. 17, Pusser’s Bar & Grille. THE CURRYS 7:30 p.m. Dec. 17 at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., San Marco, 352-7008, $10. BOWZER’S Rock ’N’ Roll Holiday Party: THE TOKENS, FREDDY BOOM BOOM CANNON 7:30 p.m. Dec. 17, Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $35-$65. THE BAND BE EASY 8 p.m. Dec. 17 at Latitude 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., Southside, 365-5555. LEON RUSSELL, SEAN CLARK 8 p.m. Dec. 17 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., 209-0399, $39-$49. GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE, JACKSONVEGAS, DARYL HANCE POWERMUSE 8 p.m. Dec. 17 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $8 advance; $10 day of. SANTA YOUTH, The COMA KIDS, CUTTING TEETH, SMILE 4 9 p.m. Dec. 17, Shantytown Pub, 22 W. Sixth St., 798-8222. JOHNNY KING & the SOL ROCKERS 8 p.m. Dec. 17, Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 246-2473, $10 advance; $13 day of. “3” THE BAND 9 p.m. Dec. 17 at Flying Iguana, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680. Freebird Funding Firefighters “In Memory of Captain Mark Stewart”: SALIVA, FALL to JUNE, JFRD PIPES & DRUMS
ENSEMBLE, TRIED BY TWELVE 5 p.m. Dec. 18, Freebird Live, $15 advance; $20 day of.
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DENNY BLUE 5 p.m. Dec. 18 at Milltop Tavern & Listening Room, 19 1/2 St. George St., St. Augustine, 829-2329. GITLO LEE 6:30 p.m. Dec. 18, Alley Cat Seafood, Beer House & Wine Boutique, 316 Centre St., Fernandina Beach, 491-1001. MIKE SHACKELFORD, STEVE SHANHOLTZER, JAMIE DeFRATES, LARRY MANGUM 7:30 p.m. Dec. 18, Mudville Music Room, $10. GEORGIO “THE DOVE” VALENTINO 8 p.m. Dec. 18 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown. KING EDDIE & PILI PILI 8 p.m. Dec. 18, Pusser’s Bar & Grille. BLUE SHADOWS, WEEKEND ATLAS, EDENFIELD, FERNWAY 8 p.m. Dec. 18, Jack Rabbits, $5 advance; $10 day of. EW, WITCH TITZ, DELPHIC ORACLE, BURNT HAIR, VIRGIN FLOWER 9 p.m. Dec. 18 at rain dogs., 379-4969, $6. TAKE COVER 9:30 p.m. Dec. 18 at Whiskey Jax, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Southside, 634-7208. CHILLY RHINO 10 p.m. Dec. 18 & 19 at The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 264-0611. KIM RETEGUIZ & the BLACK CAT BONES 10 p.m. Dec. 18 & 19 at Flying Iguana, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680. Riverside Arts Market: JOHN CARVER BAND, SWEET SCARLETT, ROY PEAK 10:30 a.m. Dec. 19, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449. DAVIS TURNER 6 p.m. Dec. 19 at Sliders Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., Fernandina Beach, 277-6652. HIGH ON FIRE, CROWBAR, APPALACHIAN DEATH TRAP, YASHIRA 6:30 p.m. Dec. 19 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, 353-6067, $17. MY FIRST CIRCUS, A NEW DECREE, EMMA MOSELEY BAND, AUTOMATIK FIT, ANCESTROS CORD 8 p.m. Dec. 19, Jack Rabbits, $5 advance; $10 day of. MICHAEL McDONALD 8 p.m. Dec. 19 at Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts, 283 College Dr., Orange Park, 276-6750, $43-$297.
MATISYAHU 8 p.m. Dec. 19, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, $37.50-$49.50. DON’T CALL ME SHIRLEY 9:30 p.m. Dec. 19, Whiskey Jax. Girls Rock Jacksonville Volunteer Showcase & Silent Auction: GRJ volunteer and camper bands, GEEXELLA,
EBONY PAYNE, HONEYCOMB, JUANITA PARKERURBAN 1-5 p.m. Dec. 20 at CoRK Arts District, 2689 Rosselle St., Riverside, sliding scale admission $5-$15 at the door, girlsrockjacksonville.org. FLAGSHIP ROMANCE, THIS FRONTIER NEEDS HEROES, OSCAR MIKE, SHANNON OGDEN 7 p.m. Dec. 20, Jack Rabbits, $8 advance; $10 day of. GOOD BOYS, The DOG APOLLO, CHIBOLO, SUNSPOTS, COUGAR BARREL, PARADIGM RIFT 7 p.m. Dec. 21, Jack Rabbits, $5 advance; $10 day of. NOCTOMB, SHADOW HUNTER, ALMITRA 8 p.m. Dec. 21, Shantytown Pub. SWIMM 7:30 p.m. Dec. 22 at 1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St., Downtown, $8. CHRIS DUARTE GROUP 7:30 p.m. Dec. 22, Mudville Music Room, $10. BJ BARNHAM (American Aquarium), BRYCE ALASTAIR, BEAU CRUM 8 p.m. Dec. 22, Jack Rabbits, $10. CORBITT CLAMPITT, CANARY IN THE COAL MINE, TOM BENNETT BAND, THE WILLOWWACKS, JENNI REID 7 p.m. Dec. 23, Jack Rabbits, $8 advance; $10 day of.
UPCOMING CONCERTS Fistmas: THEE HARMONIOUS FISTS, GOLDEN PELICANS,
PARTY FLAG, The MOLD, DUVAL SPIT Dec. 26, rain dogs. BUTCH TRUCKS & the FREIGHT TRAIN BAND, BONNIE BLUE Dec. 27, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall DONNA the BUFFALO Dec. 30, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SOJA Jan. 1, The Florida Theatre JOHN SEBASTIAN Jan. 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall FRED EAGLESMITH Jan. 8, The Original Café Eleven STEVE FORBERT TRIO Jan. 9, Mudville Music Room SILVERSUN PICKUPS, The DOG APOLLO Jan. 10, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall The OLATE DOGS Jan. 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall YO YO MA Jan. 14, Amelia Island Chamber Music Festival OBNOX, X__X, THE MOLD, NOTEL Jan. 14, rain dogs. TROMBONE SHORTY & ORLEANS AVENUE, NEW BREED BRASS BAND Jan. 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall Winter Jam: FOR KING & COUNTRY, MATTHEW WEST, CROWDER, LAUREN DAIGLE, RED, NEWSONG, SIDEWALK PROPHETS, TEDASHIL, KB, STARS GO DIM, TONY NOLAN, WE ARE MESSENGERS Jan. 15, Veterans Memorial Arena KELLEY HUNT Jan. 15, The Original Café Eleven STEVE POLTZ, GRANT-LEE PHILLIPS Jan. 20, Café Eleven The TEMPTATIONS, The FOUR TOPS Jan. 21, Florida Theatre The COLLEEN & JOSH SHOW Jan. 21, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SHANNON & the CLAMS, GOLDEN PELICANS, The MOLD Jan. 22, Burro Bar JESCO WHITE, SNAKE BLOOD REMEDY, GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE Jan. 23, Jack Rabbits GRAHAM NASH Jan. 27, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CREEDENCE CLEARWATER REVISITED Jan. 23, ThrasherHorne Center ANA POPOVIC Jan. 28, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall
LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC PATTI LaBELLE Jan. 28, T-U Center for the Performing Arts CARRIE UNDERWOOD Jan. 30, Veterans Memorial Arena GAELIC STORM Jan. 30, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PAPADASIO Jan. 30, Mavericks Live JOHNNY MATHIS Jan. 31, The Florida Theatre COLIN HAY, HEATHER MALONEY Jan. 31, P.V. Concert Hall 2CELLOS Feb. 2, The Florida Theatre MOON TAXI Feb. 2, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall YANNI Feb. 3, T-U Center Southern Soul Assembly: JJ GREY, ANDERS OSBORNE, MARC BROUSSARD, LUTHER DICKINSON Feb. 4, Florida Theatre UNDER the STREETLAMP Feb. 5 & 6, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall YONDER MOUNTAIN STRING BAND, TROUT STEAK REVIVAL Feb. 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ALAN PARSONS PROJECT Greatest Hits Tour, Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra Feb. 10, The Florida Theatre ROBERT RANDOLPH & the FAMILY BAND Feb. 11, P.V.C. Hall MARTY STUART & the FABULOUS SUPERLATIVES Feb. 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PATTY GRIFFIN, SARA WATKINS, ANAIS MITCHELL Feb. 13, The Florida Theatre The JAMES HUNTER SIX Feb. 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MELISSA ETHERIDGE Feb. 17, Thrasher-Horne Center DON WILLIAMS Feb. 17, The Florida Theatre ST. PAUL & the BROKEN BONES Feb. 19, P.V. Concert Hall PROTOMARTYR, SPRAY PAINT, UVTV Feb. 19, St. Augustine Amphitheatre FOREIGNER Feb. 20, The Florida Theatre SUN RA ARKESTRA Feb. 20, The Ritz Theatre ADAM TRENT Feb. 21, The Florida Theatre GARY CLARK JR. Feb. 21, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CHARLES BRADLEY & HIS EXTRAORDINAIRES Feb. 24, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall VINCE GILL, LYLE LOVETT Feb. 25, The Florida Theatre Experience Hendrix: BILLY COX, BUDDY GUY, ZAKK WYLDE, KENNY WAYNE SHEPHERD, JONNY LANG, DWEEZIL ZAPPA, KEB MO, ERIC JOHNSON, CHRIS LAYTON, MATO NANJI, NOAH HUNT, HENRI BROWN Feb. 26, Florida Theatre RICHARD MARX Feb. 27, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall The ZOMBIES March 3, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall IL VOLO March 3, The Florida Theatre BLACK VIOLIN March 3, The Ritz Theatre ROGER McGUINN March 4, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall STEVE MILLER BAND March 4, St. Augustine Amphitheatre HERB ALPERT & LANI HALL March 4, The Florida Theatre JASON ISBELL, SHOVELS & ROPE March 5, St. Aug Amph. JANET JACKSON March 8, Veterans Memorial Arena MERLE HAGGARD March 11, The Florida Theatre MOODY BLUES March 11, St. Augustine Amphitheatre RIHANNA March 12, Veterans Memorial Arena BLUE MAN GROUP March 12 & 13, T-U Center GET the LED OUT March 17, The Florida Theatre Festival of Laughs: MIKE EPPS, SOMMORE, EARTHQUAKE, GARY OWEN March 18, Veterans Memorial Arena JOHNNY CLEGG & HIS BAND March 18, P. Vedra Concert Hall JOE SATRIANI March 19, The Florida Theatre The FAB FOUR: The ULTIMATE TRIBUTE March 19, PVC Hall ALAN DOYLE & BAND March 20, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CHICAGO, EARTH, WIND & FIRE March 23, Vets Mem Arena DURAN DURAN March 30, St. Augustine Amphitheatre CECILE McLORIN SALVANT March 31, The Ritz Theatre NAJEE April 9, The Ritz Theatre LET IT BE: Celebration of The Beatles April 10, Florida Theatre AMY HELM April 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall WANEE MUSIC FESTIVAL April 14, 15 & 16 RITA WILSON April 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall The BRONX WANDERERS April 16, The Florida Theatre One Night of Queen: GARY MULLEN & the WORKS April 20, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall A NIGHT with JANIS JOPLIN April 21, The Florida Theatre Welcome to Rockville: ROB ZOMBIE, ZZ TOP, FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH, A DAY to REMEMBER, MEGADETH, LAMB of GOD, CYPRESS HILL, SEVENDUST, GHOST, ANTHRAX, CLUTCH, YELAWOLF, P.O.D., WE CAME as ROMANS, MEMPHIS MAY FIRE, ISSUES, CROWN the EMPIRE, SICK PUPPIES, BEARTOOTH, TEXAS HIPPIE COALITION, AVATAR, FROM ASHES to NEW, The GLORIOUS SONS, WILD THRONE, DISTURBED, SHINEDOWN, 3 DOORS DOWN, BRING ME the HORIZON, SIXX:A.M., COLLECTIVE SOUL, PENNYWISE, POP EVIL, BULLET for MY VALENTINE, HELLYEAH, ASKING ALEXANDRIA, CANDLEBOX, FILTER, ESCAPE the FATE, PARKWAY DRIVE, ENTER SHIKARI, MISS MAY I, WILSON, RED SUN RISING, LACEY STURM, MONSTER TRUCK, CANE HILL April 30 & May 1, Metropolitan Park The 1975, The JAPANESE HOUSE May 10, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ELLIS PAUL May 13, The Original Café Eleven HERE COME the MUMMIES, NOAH GUTHRIE May 26, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall JUSTIN BIEBER June 29, Veterans Memorial Arena TWENTY ONE PILOTS July 3, St. Augustine Amphitheatre 5 SECONDS OF SUMMER July 20, Veterans Memorial Arena
Music legend LEON RUSSELL (pictured) performs with opener SEAN CLARK at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall on Dec. 17.
SLIDERS, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652 Davis Turner 6 p.m. Dec. 19 SURF RESTAURANT, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Yancy Clegg every Tue. & Thur. Black Jack Band every Fri.
AVONDALE, ORTEGA
CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free 9 p.m. Tue. & Thur. Indie dance 9 p.m. every Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance every Fri. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns, 388-0200 Radio Love 9 p.m. Dec. 18. Live music every weekend
THE BEACHES
(All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted)
CULHANE’S, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 Kissass Karaoke every Fri. DJ Hal every Sat. Irish music Sun. FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680 “3” 9 p.m. Dec. 17. Kim Reteguiz & Black Cat Bones Dec. 18 & 19 FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 Johnny King & the Sol Rockers, Kim Reteguiz & the Black Cat Bones 8 p.m. Dec. 17. Freebird Funding Firefighters “In Memory of Captain Mark Stewart”: Saliva, Fall to June, JFRD Pipes & Drums Ensemble, Tried by Twelve 5 p.m. Dec. 18. Digitour Slay Bells: Fire, Sam Pottorff, Alex Lee, Kenny Holland, Grant Landis, Maddie Wellborn, Diegosaurs, Andrew Fontenot, Sammy Wilk 3 p.m. Dec. 19
HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815 Live music every Fri. & Sat. Dan Evans, Spade McQuade every Sun. Back From the Brink every Mon. LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Roger That 10 p.m. Dec. 18 & 19. Live music every night MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 Third St. N., 241-5600 Brady Clampitt Dec. 17. Anton LaPlume Dec. 18. Live music weekends MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573 Chilly Rhino Dec. 22. Gypsies Ginger every Wed. Mike Shackelford & Steve Shanholtzer every Thur. MONKEY’S UNCLE, 1850 S. Third St., 246-1070 Joe Oliff & Jaxx or Better 7 p.m. Dec. 16 NIPPERS BEACH GRILLE, 2309 Beach Blvd., 247-3300 DiCarlo Thompson Dec. 17. Bonnie Blue Dec. 20 RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877 Billy Bowers Dec. 16. Take Cover Dec. 17. Boogie Freaks Dec. 18 & 19. Live music every weekend ROYAL PALM VILLAGE WINE & TAPAS, 296 Royal Palms Dr., AB, 372-0052 Billy Bowers 7 p.m. Dec. 17 SLIDERS SEAFOOD GRILLE, 218 First St., NB, 246-0881 Billy Bowers 6 p.m. Dec. 18 WIPEOUTS GRILL, 1589 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 247-4508 Live music 7 p.m. Dec. 17, 9:30 p.m. Dec. 18
DOWNTOWN
1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N. Mdezzy the King 8 p.m. Dec. 16. Florida Hate Fest Dec. 18 & 19. Losing Teeth Dec. 20
LIVE MUSIC CLUBS
AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA
ALLEY CAT SEAFOOD & BEER HOUSE, 316 Centre St., 491-1001 Dan Voll Dec. 16. Gitlo Lee 6:30 p.m. Dec. 18 GREEN TURTLE TAVERN, 14 S. Third St., 321-2324 Buck Smith Thur. Yancy Clegg Sun. Vinyl Record Nite every Tue.
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LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC BURRO BAR, 100 E. Adams St. Georgio “The Dove” Valentino 8 p.m. Dec. 18. Dark Sermon Dec. 19 DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 BlackJack every Wed. DJ Brandon every Thur. DJs spin dance music every Fri. DJ NickFresh every Sat. DJ Randall 9 p.m. every Mon. DJ Hollywood every Tue. FIONN MacCOOL’S, The Landing, 374-1247 Spade McQuade 6 p.m. Dec. 16 & 23. Chuck Nash Dec. 18. Ace Winn Dec. 19 JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 Bread & Butter 9 p.m. Dec. 18. 418 Band 4 p.m. Dec. 20. George Aspinall 7 p.m. Dec. 26 MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Dr. Doom 10 p.m.-2 a.m. every Fri. DJ Shotgun 10 p.m.-2 a.m. every Sat. MAVERICKS LIVE, Jax Landing, 356-1110 Mancandy Holiday Male Revue 6 p.m. Dec. 19. Joe Buck, DJ Justin every Thur.-Sat. UNDERBELLY, 113 E. Bay St., 699-8186 High on Fire, Crowbar, Appalachian Death Trap, Yashira 6:30 p.m. Dec. 19. Bad Year, Bad Luck Dec. 20. Live music most weekends
FLEMING ISLAND
WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Mark Parisi, Take Cover 9 p.m. Dec. 19. Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. DJ Throwback every Thur. Deck music every Fri., Sat. & Sun.
INTRACOASTAL WEST
CLIFF’S BAR & GRILL, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 Live music most weekends JERRY’S Sports Grille, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766 Don’t Call Me Shirley 7:30 p.m. Dec. 18. The Party Cartel Dec. 19
MANDARIN, JULINGTON
DAVE’S MUSIC BAR & GRILL, 9965 San Jose, 575-4935 Jon Farmer, North of 40 Dec. 19 HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., 8803040 Live music most weekends. Open jam 7 p.m. every Mon.
ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG
CLUB RETRO, 1241 Blanding Blvd., 579-4731 ’70s & ’80s dance 8 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. DJ Capone every Wed. THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael every Tue.-Sat. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Chilly Rhino 10 p.m. Dec. 18 & 19. Live music 10 p.m. every Wed. DJ Big Mike every Thur.
PONTE VEDRA
PUSSER’S Grill, 816 A1A, 280-7766 Ryan Crary Dec. 16 & 19. Richard Smith 6 p.m. Dec. 17. King Eddie & Pili Pili Dec. 18
TABLE 1, 330 A1A, 280-5515 Robbie Lit Dec. 16. Gary Starling Dec. 17. Dan Coady Dec. 18. Latin All Stars Dec. 19 & 23
RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE
ACROSS THE STREET, 948 Edgewood Ave. S., 683-4182 Bill Ricci 6 p.m. Dec. 18. Live music most weekends MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood S., 388-7807 Family Force 5, KB 8 p.m. Dec. 18 RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 3794969 J-Live, Willie Evans Jr., ND 20/20, Geexella & Foreign 8 p.m. Dec. 16. EW, Witch Titz, Delphic Oracle, Burnt Hair, Virgin Flower Dec. 18 RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449 John Carver Band, Sweet Scarlett, Roy Peak Dec. 19
Texas blues guitar-slinger CHRIS DUARTE performs with his group at Mudville Music Room on Dec. 22 in San Marco.
ST. AUGUSTINE
CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 Chillula Dec. 18. Ain’t Too Proud to Beg Dec. 19. Vinny Jacobs Dec. 20 MILL TOP TAVERN, 19 St. George St., 829-2329 Denny Blue Dec. 18. Live music every night PAULA’S GRILL, 6896 A1A S., Crescent Beach, 471-3463 Denny Blue open mic jam 6-9 p.m. Dec. 16 & 23 TRADEWINDS, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Spanky 9 p.m. Dec. 18 & 19
SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK
JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Grandpa’s Cough Medicine, Jacksonvegas, Daryl Hance Powermuse 8 p.m. Dec. 17. Blue Shadows, Weekend Atlas, Edenfield, Fernway Dec. 18. My First Circus, A New Decree, Emma Moseley Band, Automatik Fit, Ancestros Cord Dec. 19. Flagship Romance, This Frontier Needs Heroes, Oscar Mike, Shannon Ogden Dec. 20. Good Boys, The Dog Apollo, Chibolo, Sunspots, Cougar Barrel, Paradigm Rift Dec. 21. BJ Barnham (American Aquarium), Bryce Alastair, Beau Crum Dec. 22 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 The Currys 7:30 p.m. Dec. 17. Chris Duarte Group Dec. 22. Larry Mangum, Mike Shackelford, Steve Shanholtzer, Jamie Defrates Dec. 18
SADDEST MUSIC IN THE WORLD MOVIES ABOUT MUSIC, ABOUT ROCK-ANDroll specifically, are more often than not a huge letdown, especially if you’re a musician. Too frequently, the films get it wrong, hyperbolizing the myths of the biz that appeal to the salacious desires of the viewers. Of course, clichés and stereotypes are typically grounded in reality and, yes, those hyperboles are all too familiar. Rarely, though, do films get to the heart of what it’s like to be a musician, the eternal struggle of an artist who, against all odds, works his or her ass off for little thanks, little compensation and little recognition. In that regard, I thought it might be nice to hip you to a few movies that touch on the humanity of musicians who have grappled with their desire to “make it,” their drive to stay true to their art and battled mental illness.
20 FEET FROM STARDOM (streaming on Netflix) Everyone wants to be a star, but few come this close. This award-winning 2014 documentary covers the rise of popular music’s most sonically recognizable but least visibly known singers. We follow a handful of background vocalists as they talk about their history working with the biggest names in the business. Merry Clayton (most well-known for her legendary performance on the Rolling Stones’ “Gimme Shelter”), Darlene Love (Elvis, Tom Jones, countless Phil Spector hits), Claudia Lennear (Joe Cocker’s Mad Dogs & Englishmen, George Harrison), Lisa Fischer (Sting), The Waters Family (Neil Diamond, Patti LaBelle, The Lion King soundtrack) and Judith Hill (Stevie Wonder, Elton John) tell stories of crooning behind the icons, some of whom can’t hold a candle to their support staff. Of course, there’s Luther Vandross (David Bowie) and Sheryl Crow (Michael Jackson), among those rare few who make the next step from chorus to the lead mic. But, like the players in the magical documentary Standing in the Shadows of 30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 16-22, 2015
Overs SOUTHSIDE, BAYMEADOWS, ARLINGTON
LATITUDE 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 Be Easy Dec. 17. Blonde Ambition Dec. 18 & 19. Boogie Freaks Dec. 20 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999 Charlie Walker Dec. 17. Lance Neely Dec. 18. Milltown Road Dec. 19. Live music most weekends WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows, 634-7208 Take Cover 9:30 p.m. Dec. 18. Don’t Call Me Shirley 9:30 p.m. Dec. 19. Country Jam every Wed. Melissa Smith every Thur. Mojo Roux Blues every Sun. WORLD OF BEER, 9700 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 551-5929 Oceanstone 9 p.m. Dec. 18. Live music most weekends
SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE
SHANTYTOWN PUB, 22 W. Sixth St., 798-8222 Santa Youth, The Coma Kids, Cutting Teeth, Smile 4 9 p.m. Dec. 17. Noctomb, Shadow Hunter, Almitra 8 p.m. Dec. 21 THREE LAYERS COFFEEHOUSE, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 Live music most weekends
THE KNIFE
Motown, these ultra-talented musicians dwell in a netherworld of obscurity, knowing full well that they, in most cases, blow away the people they’re backing, but because of the politics of the biz – of simple poor timing – are never given the chance they deserve. It’s wrenching to watch, made all the more palpable as stars like Mick Jagger, Wonder, and others sing their praises, so to speak.
FRANK (streaming on Netflix) I must admit, what initially attracted me to this film was the notion of a person donning an enlarged, comic-book-like fake head 24/7. But the novel aspect of Frank (2014) soon fades into an engaging narrative about the fragile dynamics of a working band and its mentally ill lead singer. Played brilliantly by Michael Fassbender, the titular Frank is the frontman and creative force behind a too-artsyfor-its-own-good indie band that loses its keyboard player to a botched suicide attempt. They invite aboard Jon (Domhnall Gleeson), a naïve, aspiring songwriter who pours his personal nest egg into the band. The result is a lengthy sabbatical in the frozen Irish woods, where the band experiences another suicide attempt (this one successful), and Jon begins to realize the mess he’s gotten himself into. Though Maggie Gyllenhaal and Fassbender lend star power, Gleeson counterbalances the film’s emotional seesaw, vacillating between his deep commitment to Frank’s vision and depression over his own creative failings. Truly touching are the closing moments, when Fassbender’s Frank, sans papier-mâché head, confronts his demons, and Jon tries to patch together his own broken life. Anyone who’s had differences with a band member or been trapped in a relationship from which they can’t seem to extract themselves will relate to this fractured but very funny film.
THE KNIFE
JACO (available on DVD, Blu-ray; download at Amazon or iTunes) Drilling deeper into mental illness and its
effects on a musical genius, the recently released documentary Jaco follows the meteoric rise and tragic descent of Jaco Pastorius, the self-proclaimed (and by all reasonable accounts, certifiably) “greatest bass player in the world.” From humble beginnings playing in cover and variety bands in South Florida, Jaco quickly established himself in the world of fusion and multi-culti jazz. A selftaught innovator, this quirky, colorful madman of the bass blew the minds of contemporaries with his unorthodox approach and wide-open musical mind. Working with acts as diverse as fusion giants Weather Report, songwriter Joni Mitchell and ’70s glitterboy rocker Ian Hunter, as well as his own shape-shifting ensembles, Jaco created his own voice, one that bassists (and other musicians as well) have tried to emulate ever since. Produced by Metallica’s bassist Robert Trujillo, Jaco pieces together interviews with former band members, friends and family with live footage and home videos. The intimacy of the home video footage can be jarring at times, knowing that, by the end, Jaco will have abandoned his children, become a homeless drug addict and die from a brutal beating by a bouncer at a South Florida nightclub. Not enough time is spent on that horrible evening and its aftermath – yes, his mental illness is addressed and the circumstances of the homicide are touched on – but many details are left out. Still, Jaco’s life and music are celebrated in full here, and this doc is a gem for both the Jaco aficionado and those new to his legacy. John E. Citrone theknife@folioweekly.com
At Hawker’s Asian Street Fare in 5 Points, there’s always something exotic, fresh and original to offer. Photo by Dennis Ho
DINING DIRECTORY AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH
29 SOUTH EATS, 29 S. Third St., 277-7919, 29southrest aurant.com. F Chef Scotty Schwartz’s traditional regional cuisine has modern twist. $$ L Tue.-Sat.; D Mon.-Sat.; R Sun. BARBERITOS, 1519 Sadler Rd., 277-2505. 463867 S.R. 200, Ste. 5, Yulee, 321-2240, barberitos.com. F Southwestern fare; burritos, tacos, quesadillas, salsa. $$ BW K TO L D Daily BEACH DINER, 2006 S. Eighth St., 310-3750, beachdiner. com. Innovative breakfast: Eggs on the Bayou, fish-n-grits; French toast, riders, omelets. Lunch fare: salads, burgers, sandwiches, shrimp & crabmeat salad. $$ BW K TO L D Daily BEECH STREET Bar & Grill, 801 Beech St., 572-1390, beech streetbarandgrill.com. In a restored 1889 home, Chef Charles creates with fresh, local ingredients. Local seafood, handcut Florida steaks, housemade pasta, daily specials, small plates, street food. $$$-$$$$ FB D Tue.-Sat.; Brunch, D Sun. BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F Southern hospitality, upscale waterfront spot; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB K L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo.com. F Family-owned; historic building. Veggie burgers, seafood, made-from-scratch desserts. Dine in or on oak-shaded patio. Karibrew Pub next door. $$ FB K TO R, Sun.; L D Daily CHEZ LEZAN BAKERY CO., 1014 Atlantic Ave., 491-4663, chezlezanbakery.com. Fresh European-style breads, pastries: croissants, muffins, cakes, pies. $ TO B R L Daily DAVID’S Restaurant & Lounge, 802 Ash St., 310-6049, ameliaislanddavids.com. Fine dining, historic district. Fresh seafood, prime aged meats, rack of lamb. $$$$ FB D Wed.-Mon. DICK’S Wings & Grill, 474313 E. S.R. 200, 491-3469. 450077 S.R. 200, Callahan, 879-0993. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE O. PARK. ELIZABETH POINTE Lodge, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabethpointelodge.com. F Award-winning B&B. Seaside dining, inside or out. Hot buffet breakfast daily. Homestyle soups, sandwiches, desserts. $$$ BW B L D Daily JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddianes cafe.com. F 1887 shotgun house. Jambalaya, French toast, mac-n-cheese, vegan/vegetarian. Porch. $$ FB K B L D Daily LULU’S at Thompson House, 11 S. 7th St., 432-8394, lulusamelia.com. F Po’boys, salads, local seafood, local shrimp. Reservations. $$$ BW K TO R Sun.; L D Tue.-Sat. MOON RIVER Pizza, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moonriver pizza.net. F 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic Northern-style pizzas, 20+ toppings, pie or the slice. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE MUSTARD SEED CAFÉ, 833 TJ Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Casual organic eatery, juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juice, herbal tea. $$ TO B L Mon.-Sat. PABLO’S Mexican Restaurant Grill & Cantina, 12 N. Second St., 261-0049. Chicken, carnes, fajitas, burritos, tacos, daily specials. Margaritas. $$$ FB K TO L D Daily
THE PECAN ROLL BAKERY, 122 S. Eighth St., 491-9815, thepecanrollbakery.com. F Near historic district. Sweet and savory pastries, cookies, cakes, bagels, breads, made from scratch. $ K TO B L Wed.-Sun. PI INFINITE COMBINATIONS, 19 S. Third St., 432-8535, pi32034.wix.com/piinfinite. All bar service; NYC-style. Specialty pizzas, pie/slice, toppings: truffle mushrooms, little neck clams, eggs, shrimp. Courtyard. $$ BW TO L D Wed.-Sun. PLAE, 80 Amelia Village Cir., 277-2132, plaefl.net. Bite Club. Bistro-style venue serves whole fried fish, duck breast. Outside. $$$ FB L Tue.-Sat.; D Nightly SALTY PELICAN Bar & Grill, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F BOJ winner. Second-story outdoor bar. Owners T.J. and Al offer local seafood, Mayport shrimp, fish tacos, po’boys, cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F Oceanfront. Crabcakes, fresh seafood, fried pickles. Open-air 2nd floor, balcony. $$ FB K L D Daily T-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. Eighth St., 261-6310. F 2015 BOJ winner. In an old gas station; blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L Mon.-Sat.
ARLINGTON, REGENCY
DICK’S Wings & Grill, 9119 Merrill Rd., 745-9300. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. LARRY’S Subs, 1301 Monument Rd., 724-5802. F SEE O.PARK. The STEAKHOUSE @ Gold Club, 320 Gen. Doolittle Dr., 645-5500, jacksonvillegoldclub.com. Lunch and dinner specials, free happy hour buffets Thur. & Fri. $$$ FB L D Daily
AVONDALE, ORTEGA
FLORIDA CREAMERY, 3566 St. Johns Ave., 619-5386. Ice cream, waffle cones, milkshakes, sundaes, Nathan’s grilled hot dogs. Low-fat and sugar-free choices. $ K TO L D Daily HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, harpoonlouies.net. F Locally owned & operated 20+ years. American pub. 1/2-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta. Local beers. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.
To get your restaurant listed here, just call your account manager or Sam Taylor at 904.260.9770 ext. 111 or staylor@folioweekly.com.
DINING DIRECTORY KEY
Average Entrée Cost $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer/Wine FB = Full Bar K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch L = Lunch D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted free FW Bite Club tasting. fwbiteclub.com. 2015 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot
MOJO NO. 4 Urban BBQ & Whiskey Bar, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. PINEGROVE Market & Deli, 1511 PineGrove Ave., 389-8655, pinegrovemarket.com. F BOJ winner. 40+ years. Burgers, Cuban sandwiches, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher cuts USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. $ BW TO B L D Mon.-Sat. RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaurant orsay.com. 2015 BOJ winner. French/Southern bistro; locally grown organic ingredients. Steak frites, mussels, pork chops. Snail of Approval. $$$ FB K R, Sun.; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simply saras.net. F Down-home fare, from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Mon.-Sat., B Sat.
BAYMEADOWS
AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. INDIA’S Restaurant, 9802 Baymeadows, Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajax.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetable dishes, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L Mon.-Sat.; D Nightly LARRY’S Giant Subs, 3928 Baymeadows, 737-7740. 8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 9802 Baymeadows, 425-9142. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 11030 Baymeadows, 260-2791. SEE MANDARIN. PATTAYA THAI Grille, 9551 Baymeadows, Ste. 1, 646-9506, ptgrille.com. Family-owned Thai place serves traditional fare, vegetarian, new Thai; curries, seafood, noodles, soups. Lowsodium, gluten-free, too. $$$ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun. TEQUILA’S Mexican Restaurant, 10915 Baymeadows, Ste. 101, 363-1365, tequilasjacksonville.com. F Authentic fare, made daily with fresh ingredients. Vegetarian dishes; daily drink specials. Nonstop happy hour. $$ FB L D Daily The WELL Watering Hole, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9, 737-7740, thewellwateringhole.com. Local craft beers, wines by glass/bottle, champagne cocktails. Meatloaf sandwich, pulled Peruvian chicken, homestyle vegan black bean burgers. $$ BW K TO D Tue.-Sat. WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows, Ste. 135, 634-7208, whiskeyjax.com. New gastropub has craft beers, burgers, handhelds, tacos, whiskey. $$ FB L D Sat. & Sun.; D Daily.
BEACHES
(Locations are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)
AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0002, alspizza.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. New York-style, gourmet pizzas, baked dishes. All-day happy hour Mon.-Thur. $ FB K TO L D Daily ANGIE’S SUBS, 1436 Beach Blvd., 246-2519. ANGIE’S
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DINING DIRECTORY GROM, 204 Third Ave. S., 246-7823. F 2015 BOJ winner. Subs made with fresh ingredients for more than 25 years. One word: Peruvian. Huge salads, blue-ribbon iced tea. $ BW TO L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 2400 S. Third St., Ste. 201. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. ESPETO Brazilian Steakhouse, 1396 Beach Blvd., 3884884, espetosteakhouse.com. Just relocated, serving beef, pork, lamb, chicken, sausage; full menu, bar fare, craft cocktails, Brazilian beers. $$ FB D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. FLYING IGUANA Taqueria & Tequila Bar, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680 F 2015 BOJ winner. Latin American, tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana fare. 100+ tequilas. $ FB L D Daily LARRY’S Subs, 657 Third St. N., 247-9620. F SEE O.PARK. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 Third St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600, mellowmushroom.com. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. Hoagies, gourmet pizzas: Mighty Meaty, vegetarian, Kosmic Karma. 35 tap beers. Nonstop happy hour. $ FB K TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 1534 Third St. N., 853-6817. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573, mezzarestaurantandbar.com. F Near-the-ocean spot, 20+ years. Casual bistro fare: gourmet wood-fired pizzas, nightly specials. Dine in, or patio. $$$ FB K D Mon.-Sat. MOJO KITCHEN BBQ Pit, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636, mojobbq.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Pulled pork, beef, chicken, Carolina-style, Delta fried catfish, sides. $$ FB K TO L D Daily NIPPERS Beach Grille, 2309 Beach Blvd., 247-3300, nippers beachgrille.com. Chef-driven Southern coastal cuisine, dishes with Caribbean flavor. Island atmosphere on the ICW. Dine in or on Tiki deck. $$ FB K L D Wed.-Sun.; D Mon. & Tue. POE’S Tavern, 363 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7637. Gastropub, 50+ beers, gourmet burgers, hand-cut fries, fish tacos, Edgar’s Drunken Chili, daily fish sandwich special. $$ FB K L D Daily RAGTIME TAVERN & Seafood Grill, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F For 30+ years, iconic seafood place. Blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily happy hour. $$ FB L D Daily SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 1018 Third St. N., 372-4456, saltlifefoodshack.com. Specialties: signature tuna poke bowl, fresh sushi, Ensenada tacos, local fried shrimp, in modern open-air space. $$ FB K TO L D Daily SLIDERS Seafood Grille & Oyster Bar, 218 First St., NB, 246-0881, slidersseafoodgrille.com. Beach-casual spot. Faves: Fresh fish tacos, gumbo. Key lime pie, ice cream sandwiches. $$ FB K L Sat. & Sun.; D Nightly SNEAKERS Sports Grille, 111 Beach Blvd., 482-1000, sneakerssportsgrille.com. 2015 BOJ winner. 20+ tap beers, TVs. Happy hour Mon.-Fri. $ FB K L D Daily SURFING SOMBRERO, 222 First St. N., 834-9377. New oceanfront place serves authentic fare – like paella. Drink specials. Dine in or outside. $$ FB L D Daily SURFWICHES Sandwich Shop, 1537 Penman Rd., 241-6996, surfwiches.com. New craft sandwich shop has Yankee-style steaks and hoagies, all made to order. $ BW TO K L D Daily
GRILL ME!
541-0009. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MOJO SMOKEHOUSE, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteys fishcamp.com. F Real fish camp. Gator tail, freshwater catfish, daily specials, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar. Come by boat, bike or car. $ FB K TO L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly
INTRACOASTAL WEST
AL’S Pizza, 14286 Beach, Ste. 31, 223-0991. F ’15 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. DICK’S, 14286 Beach, 223-0115. F ’15 BOJ. SEE O.PARK. LARRY’S, 10750 Atlantic, Ste. 14, 642-6980. F SEE O.PARK. TIME OUT Sports Grill, 13799 Beach, Ste. 5, 223-6999, timeoutsportsgrill.com. F Locally-owned-and-operated. Hand-tossed pizzas, wings, wraps. Daily drink specials, HDTVs. Late-nite menu. $$ FB L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly
MANDARIN, NW ST. JOHNS
AKEL’S Deli, 12926 Granbay Pkwy. W., 880-2008. F SEE DOWNTOWN.
AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. ATHENS Café, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199. F Dolmades (stuffed grape leaves), baby shoes (stuffed eggplant). Greek beers. $$ BW L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. DICK’S Wings, 10391 Old St. Augustine Rd., 880-7087. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. FIRST COAST Deli & Grill, 6082 St. Augustine Rd., 733-7477. Diner: pancakes, bacon, sandwiches, burgers. $ K TO B L Daily LARRY’S Subs, 11365 San Jose, 674-2945. F SEE O.PARK. METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. F Organic soups, sandwiches, wraps, baked goods, prepared foods. Juice, smoothie and coffee bar. All-natural, organic beers, wines. Indoor, outdoor dining. $ BW TO K B L D Daily THE RED ELEPHANT Pizza & Grill, 10131 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 12, 683-3773, redelephantpizza.com. Casual, familyfriendly eatery. Pizzas, sandwiches, grill specials, burgers, pasta, plus gluten-free-friendly items. $ FB K L D Daily
ORANGE PARK
DICK’S Wings & Grill, 6055 Youngerman Cir., 778-1101, dickswingsandgrill.com. 1803 East West Pkwy., 375-2559. 2015 BOJ winner. NASCAR theme. 365 varieties of wings, half-pound burgers, ribs. $ FB K TO L D Daily THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959, hilltop-club.com. Southern-style fine dining. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. Extensive bourbon selection. $$$ FB D Tue.-Sat. LARRY’S Giant Subs, 1330 Blanding, 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding, Ste. 15, 272-3553. 5733
BETH BAXTER
Black Sheep Restaurant, 1534 Oak St., Riverside BIRTHPLACE: St. Louis, Missouri
YEARS IN THE BIZ: 18
FAVORITE RESTAURANT (other than mine): Balthazar, New York City FAVORITE CUISINE STYLE: French GO-TO INGREDIENT: Savory herbs IDEAL MEAL: Steak tartare, oysters and a cheese plate. WON’T CROSS MY LIPS: I’ll eat just about anything. INSIDER’S SECRET: Never stop learning. CELEBRITY SIGHTING AT MY RESTAURANT: William Shatner CULINARY TREAT: Cheese
DOWNTOWN
AKEL’S Deli, 21 W. Church St., 665-7324, akelsdeli.com. F New York-style deli has freshly made subs (3 Wise Guys, Champ), burgers, gyros, breakfast bowls, ranchero wrap, vegetarian items. $ K TO B L Mon.-Fri. THE CANDY APPLE Café & Cocktails, 400 N. Hogan St., 353-9717, thecandyapplecafe.com. Sandwiches, entrées, salads. $$ FB K L, Mon.; L D Tue.-Sun. CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth St., 356-8282. F Chef Sam Hamidi has served genuine Italian fare 35+ years: veal, seafood, gourmet pizza. Homemade salad dressing. $ BW K L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. OLIO Market, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com. F From-scratch soups, sandwiches. Duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L Mon.-Fri. SWEET PETE’S, 400 N. Hogan St., 376-7161. F All-natural sweet shop has candy made of all natural flavors, no artificial anything. Several kinds of honey. $ TO Daily ZODIAC Bar & Grill, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283, thezodiacbarandgrill.com. Mediterranean cuisine, American fare, paninis, vegetarian dishes. Daily lunch buffet. Espressos, hookahs. Happy hour Wed.-Sat. $ FB L Mon.-Fri.
FLEMING ISLAND
GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 1915 East-West Parkway,
32 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 16-22, 2015
Roosevelt, 446-9500. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove, 284-7789, larryssubs.com. F All over the area, Larry’s piles ’em high, serves ’em fast; 33+ years. Hot & cold subs, soups, salads. Some Larry’s serve breakfast. $ K TO B L D Daily METRO DINER, 2034 Kingsley Ave., 375-8548. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. SNACSHACK, 179 College Dr., Ste. 19, 682-7622, snac shack.menu. F Bakery and café has bagels, muffins, breads, cookies, brownies, snack treats. $$ K BW TO B, L & D Daily
PONTE VEDRA BEACH
AL’S Pizza, 635 A1A, 543-1494. F ’15 BOJ. SEE BEACHES. DICK’S Wings, 100 Marketside Ave., 829-8134, dickswings andgrill.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. LARRY’S SUBS, 830 A1A N., 273-3993. F SEE ORANGE PARK.
RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE
13 GYPSIES, 887 Stockton St., 389-0330, 13gypsies.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic Mediterranean peasant cuisine updated for Americans; tapas, blackened octopus, risotto of the day, coconut mango curry chicken. $$ BW L D Tue.-Sat. AKEL’S Deli, 245 Riverside Ave., 791-3336. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S Pizza, 1620 Margaret, 388-8384. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. BLACK SHEEP Restaurant, 1534 Oak, 355-3793, blackshe ep5points.com. New American, Southern twist; locally sourced ingredients. Rooftop bar. $$$ FB R Sat. & Sun.; L D Daily
DINING DIRECTORY BOLD BEAN Coffee Roasters, 869 Stockton St., Stes. 1 & 2, 855-1181. F 2015 BOJ winner. Small-batch, artisanal coffee roasting. Organic, fair trade. $ BW TO B L Daily BREW FIVE POINTS, 1024 Park St., 714-3402, brewfive points.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Local craft beer, espresso, coffee, wine. Rotating drafts, 75+ can craft beers; sodas, tea. Rotating seasonal menu: waffles, pastries, toasts, desserts, specialty coffees, craft beers. $$ BW K B L Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412, cornertaco.com. Made-from-scratch “Mexclectic street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free, vegetarian options. $ BW L D Daily. DERBY ON PARK, 1068 Park St., 379-3343. New American cuisine, upscale retro atmosphere in historic landmark building. Shrimp & grits, lobster bites, 10-oz. gourmet burger. Dine inside or out. $$ FB TO Wknd brunch. B, L D Tue.-Sun. EDGEWOOD Bakery, 1012 S. Edgewood Ave., 389-8054, edgewoodbakery.com. 68+ years, full-service. From-scratch pastries, petit fours, pies, custom cakes. Espresso/pastry café: sandwiches, smoothies, soups. $$ K TO B L Tue.-Sat. EUROPEAN STREET Café, 2753 Park St., 384-9999. 2015 BOJ winner. 130+ import beers, 20 on tap. Sandwiches. Outside dining at some EStreets. $ BW K L D Daily GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. F BOJ winner. Juice bar; organic fruits, veggies. 300+ craft/imports, 50 wines, meats, deli, raw, vitamins. Wraps, sandwiches. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS ASIAN Street Fare, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic dishes from mobile stalls. $ BW TO L D Daily IL DESCO, 2665 Park St., 290-6711, ildescojax.com. Modern Italian cuisine served in the heart of Riverside. Handcrafted cocktails. $$-$$$ FB TO K L D Daily JOHNNY’S Deli & Grille, 474 Riverside Ave., 356-8055. F Casual; sandwiches, classic salads, homefries. $ TO B L Daily KNEAD Bakeshop, 1173 Edgewood S., 634-7617 Locallyowned, family-run; made-from-scratch pastries, artisan breads, pies, sandwiches. $ TO B L Tue.-Sun. LARRY’S Subs, 1509 Margaret, 674-2794. 7895 Normandy, 781-7600. 8102 Blanding, 779-1933. F SEE O.PARK. METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., 999-4600. F 2015
BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MONROE’S Smokehouse BAR-B-Q, 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551, monroessmokehousebbq.com. Wings, pulled pork, brisket, turkey, chicken, ribs. Sides: beans, baked beans, mac-n-cheese, collards. $$ K TO L Mon.-Sat.; D Fri. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. MOSSFIRE GRILL, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434, mossfire. com. F Southwestern fish tacos, enchiladas. HH Mon.-Sat. upstairs lounge, all day Sun. $$ FB K L D Daily O’BROTHERS Irish Pub, 1521 Margaret, 854-9300, obroth ersirishpub.com. F Shepherd’s pie w/Stilton crust, Guinness mac-n-cheese, fish-n-chips. Patio. $$ FB K TO L D Daily PATTAYA Thai Grille, 1526 King, 503-4060. SEE BAYMEADOWS. rain dogs, 1045 Park, 379-4969. BOJ winner. Bar food. $ D SBRAGA & COMPANY, 220 Riverside Ave., Ste. 114, 746-0909, sbragadining.com. Chef Kevin Sbraga’s newest place offers a contemporary approach to local cultural influences. Go-to dishes: hog & hominy, fish fry, carrot ceviche. $$-$$$ FB TO L D Daily SOUTHERN ROOTS Filling Station, 1275 King St., 513-4726, southernrootsjax.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Healthy, light vegan fare; local, organic ingredients. Specials, on bread, local greens or rice, change daily. Coffees, teas. $ Tue.-Sun. SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside, Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushicafe jacksonville.com. F Monster, Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll. Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. $$ BW L D Daily
ST. AUGUSTINE
AL’S Pizza, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. CARMELO’S Marketplace & Pizzeria, 146 King St., 4946658, carmelosmarketplace.com. New York-style brick-ovenbaked pizza, fresh sub rolls, Boar’s Head meats & cheeses, garlic herb wings. Outdoor seating, Wi-Fi. $$ BW TO L D Daily DICK’S Wings & Grill, 965 S.R. 16, 825-4540. 4010 U.S. 1 S., 547-2669. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. THE FLORIDIAN, 39 Cordova St., 829-0655, thefloridian staug.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Updated Southern fare. Vegetarian, gluten-free. Fried green tomato bruschetta, grits
pphoto byy Rebecca Gibson
University Boulevard “SHACK” is worth a visit
GIVE ME THE LUP, GIVE MEBITE THE SIZED LUP
BITE-SIZED
Eggs teamed with salsa is now my new favorite I ADMIT I’VE DRIVEN BY LUPITA’S DOZENS OF meal, thanks to Lupita’s. Eggs cooked over-easy, times without actually seeing it. When my eyes spilled into beans and rice, which I enjoy mixing finally registered the silver shack with the red into one delicious mound to be transferred into awning, I struggled to find a parking spot in the tiny warm, corn tortillas, then … consumed. The lot outside. These minor obstacles were well worth tortillas soaked up the runny yolk and the salsa, but my herculean efforts (see: First World problems), not so much that the tortillas split. because once I went in, I met some of the warmest My friend tried the Burrito California, aptly restaurant owners I’ve ever encountered. Lesson named, because it’s about the size of the nation’s learned: Never judge a shack by its exterior. third-largest state by area and is more highly The interior is much more welcoming than the populated – though with beans, not people (that ramshackle exterior suggests; the walls are a analogy reached its logical end rather quickly). calming blue, with some landscapes and an image To my point, Lupita’s Burrito California ($8.25) is that may be the Dames Point Bridge above the without a doubt the largest burrito I’ve ever seen: St. Johns River. Comfy. 12 inches of chicken, veggies, rice, beans, and Yet the coziest part of Lupita’s may be Lupita guacamole, served with or herself. While her husband cooks without cheese and covered meal after meal, Lupita scurries from booth to table, always with LUPITA’S MEXICAN FOOD in a single layer of red sauce or generous puddle of queso. a smile and an attitude that is 1024 University Blvd. N., I’ve eaten at Lupita’s tantamount to saintly. I know I’d Arlington, 762-9278 plenty of times now, and I be spewing flames if I were the still crane my neck along sole person taking orders and University when trying to find the place. Lupita’s refilling chip baskets, but I’ve yet to see her frown. Authentic Mexican Food & Seafood (as the sign Her charming personality lights up the whole place. outside says) might be hard to spot, but it’s Now, to the food. excellent at turning doubtful newcomers into Like many Mexican restaurants, Lupita’s satisfi ed fans. has a menu that’s expansive, with plenty of Rebecca Gibson combination dinners – yet I didn’t fi nd my exact mail@folioweekly.com taco/burrito/enchilada dream choice. I’ve learned –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– to skip the combos, and instead focus on the Read about more of Rebecca’s local dining specials. I decided on the Huevos Rancheros adventures at somewhereinthecityjax.com. lunch special ($5.50).
with shrimp, fish or tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D Wed.-Mon. GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F Local mainstay 25+ years. Varied menu changes twice daily. Signature dish: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. Sun. brunch. $$ FB R Sun.; L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. METRO DINER, 1000 S. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 758-3323. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO OLD CITY BBQ, 5 Cordova St., 342-5264. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. ONE TWENTY THREE BURGER HOUSE, 123 King St., 687-2790. Spot from Carmelo’s owners. Premium burgers, made with beef from NYC butcher Schweid & Sons. Wood-fired pizzas, ice cream bar, Old World milkshakes. $$ BW K TO L D Daily SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 321 A1A Beach Blvd., 217-3256, saltlifefoodshack.com. SEE BEACHES.
SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK
BASIL Thai & Sushi, 1004 Hendricks Ave., 674-0190, basil thaijax.com. F Authentic Pad Thai, curry, tempura, vegetarian, seafood, stir-fry, specials. $$ FB L D Mon.-Sat. BISTRO AIX, 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox. com. F Mediterranean/French inspired; steak frites, oakfired pizza, raw bar seasonal selections. $$$ FB TO L D Daily DICK’S Wings, 1610 University Blvd. W., 448-2110. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. EUROPEAN STREET Café, 1704 San Marco, 398-9500. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. $ BW K L D Daily FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University W., 636-8688, fusion sushijax.com. F Upscale sushi spot serves a variety of fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu. $$ K L D Daily The GROTTO Wine & Tapas Bar, 2012 San Marco, 398-0726. F Artisanal cheese plate, empanada, bruschetta, cheesecake. 60+ wines by the glass. $$$ BW Tue.-Sun. HAMBURGER MARY’S Bar & Grille, 3333 Beach, 551-2048, hamburgermarys.com. F BOJ winner. Wings, sammies, nachos, entrées, drinks, burgers. $$ K TO FB L D Daily KITCHEN on San Marco, 1402 San Marco, 396-2344, kitchenonsanmarco.com. BOJ winner. Local, national craft beers, specialty cocktails, seasonal menu, fresh, locally sourced ingredients. Sunday brunch. $$ FB L D Daily MEZZE Bar & Grill, 2016 Hendricks, 683-0693, mezzejax. com. Classic drinks, basil martinis, 35 drafts, local/craft brews, Mediterranean cuisine. Hookah. Happy hour. $$ FB D Daily METRO Diner, 3302 Hendricks, 398-3701, metrodiner.com. F BOJ winner. Original upscale diner. Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, soups. $$ B R L Daily MOJO BAR-B-QUE, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. PIZZA PALACE, 1959 San Marco Ave., 399-8815, pizzapala cejax.com. F Family-owned; spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, lasagna. Outside dining. $$ BW K TO L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco Ave., 398-3005, tavernasan marco.com. Chef Sam Efron’s authentic Italian; local produce, meats. Craft beers, craft cocktails. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily
SOUTHSIDE, TINSELTOWN
ALHAMBRA Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. USA’s longest-running dinner theater; Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus. Reservations. $$ FB D Tue.-Sun. BARBERITOS, 4320 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., Ste. 106, 807-9060. F SEE AMELIA ISLAND. DICK’S, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., 619-0954. BOJ. SEE O.PARK. DIM SUM Room, 9041 Southside, 363-9888, thedimsum room.com. Shrimp dumplings, sesame ball. Traditional Hong Kong noodles, barbecue. $ FB K L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET Café, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F SEE ORANGE PARK.
MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MONROE’S Smokehouse BAR B-Q, 10771 Beach Blvd., 996-7900, monroessmokehousebbq.com. SEE RIVERSIDE. OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Brnch Dr., 900-7730, ovinte. com. 2015 BOJ winner. European-style dining influenced by Italy, Spain, Mediterranean. Small plates, entrée-size portions, selections from charcuterie menu. $$$ BW TO R D Daily TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Ct., 854-0426, tavernayamas.com. F Bite Club. Char-broiled kabobs, seafood, wines, desserts. Belly dancing. $$ FB K L D Daily
SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE
DICK’S WINGS, 12400 Yellow Bluff Rd., Ste. 101, 6199828. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. HOLA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1001 N. Main St., 356-3100, holamexicanrestaurant.com. F Fajitas, burritos, enchiladas, daily specials. Happy hour; sangria. $ BW K TO L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 12001 Lem Turner Rd., 764-9999. SEE ORANGE PARK.
To get your restaurant listed in our Dining Directory, call your account manager or Sam Taylor at 904.260.9770 ext. 111 or staylor@folioweekly.com.
DINING DIRECTORY KEY
Average Entrée Cost $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW=Beer/Wine FB=Full Bar K=Kids’ Menu TO=Take Out B=Breakfast R=Brunch L=Lunch D=Dinner Bite Club = Hosted free FW Bite Club tasting. To join, go to fwbiteclub.com. 2014 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot
DECEMBER 16-22, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 33
LOOKIN’ FOR LOVE FOLIO
W E E K LY
FOLIO LIVING
PET
LOVERS’
GUIDE
DEAR DAVI
FURRIES NAVIDAD. OR HAPPY HOWLIDAYS. OR HOUNDAKA.
OR WHATEVER YOU WANNA SAY. JUST GIVE ME A PRESENT!
’TIS THE SEASON TO SHOWER THE ONES YOU LOVE WITH GIFTS. Even pets dream of special treats under the tree, but our lack of words sometimes get us snowman sweaters, reindeer antlers, and other gifts that may not exactly get our tails wagging. Don’t be a Scrooge. Explore my gift guide for some surefire ideas that will have your pets jumping for joy. TRAINING: Take a training class – it’s a great gift for any dog. They’ll enjoy spending time with you and building their confidence. Plus, training involves treats – another one of my favorite things. Already excel in obedience? Try a trick training lesson. Contact Menoka Bernardo at menokadogmanners.com. MASSAGE: Many pets would pay good money for a full body massage – if they had access to cash. (We count on our humans to handle that part.) Massage relaxes our bodies, relieves stress, and makes us feel more connected with our humans. Go to the Jade Paws Canine Massage website, jadepaws.com. GROOMING: A day of pampering makes a soothing surprise. Treat your dog to a bath package, nail service, teeth brushing, or nifty fur trim. APPAREL: Give your pet a stylish look this year with a new outfit. From sweaters to bow ties, there’s a wide selection of wearables to fit your pet’s wants and needs. NEW BED: Most dogs can fall asleep anywhere, but that doesn’t mean we wouldn’t enjoy a peaceful slumber on feather pillows or memory
foam. Splurge this year and get your dog a new place to dream doggie dreams (or take cat naps). PLUSH TOYS: Pet plush toys are always a hit. They’re great to fetch, snuggle, or chew. Plus, they hold our scent to keep us interested. Most dogs like the ones with squeakers, but crinklepaper is fun, too – the sound excites with crunchy fun. NEW COLLAR: A fashionable collar with a matching leash will smartly accessorize even the most posh pooch. Bling it with a personalized tag for a nice touch. FOOD PUZZLE: Turn mealtime into a stimulating game with a food puzzle. Food is hidden in secret spaces, making him work to get his tasty treat. Is it frustrating? Sure. But the reward keeps us engaged, excited, and entertained. CHEW TOYS: Satisfy your pup’s need to gnaw with a chew toy. He’s not only exercising his jaws and cleaning his teeth, he’s getting a mental workout, too. Chew toys also help relieve anxiety, stress or boredom. Some of you humans might need one, too. You could get ones that match for you and your dog! Davi mail@folioweekly.com ____________________________________ Davi is a brown dachshund with an appetite for adventure. He loves sweet potato treats, playing at the park with friends, and exploring the unknown.
BEASTS OF BURDEN: PET TIP OF THE WEEK COLD-BLOODED It’s not often that it gets too cold in Northeast Florida. However, we are approaching those few months where the temps can drop to considerably un-Florida-like lows. And if it feels too cold for you, it’s too cold for your pet. The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals encourages you to not leave your dog or cat outdoors, or in cars when the temperature is below freezing – they can become disoriented, injured or even freeze to death.
U P C O M I N G PIZZA HUT CHARITY NIGHT Order a pizza from area Pizza Huts on Thursday, Dec. 17 and help Clay Humane Society. A portion of the proceeds go directly to benefit the Humane Society. Certain restrictions and procedures apply; go to clayhumane.org for details. CLAY HUMANE holds a roadside donation event from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Dec. 19 and 20 at the intersection of Blanding Boulevard and Wells Road, rain or shine. Drive by and donate to help your furry friends. FIRST COAST NO MORE HOMELESS PETS No pet should go without medical care. Through its free, low-cost and discounted veterinary services, FCNMHP can help you keep your beloved pet. From routine wellness exams to life-saving treatments, a wide range of veterinary services are offered, including vaccinations, parasite control, flea and heartworm
34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 16-22, 2015
P E T
E V E N T S
prevention and treatment, microchipping, dental cleanings and diagnostic testing. Free spay/neuter surgeries for pet or feral cats of Duval County residents are available for a limited time. A city license ($20 at FCNMHP) is required for pet cats. Feral cats are free, but the ear will be clipped and the person(s) who drops them off must also pick them up. This special is for current Duval County residents only, so please bring proof of residence to the appointment. Feral cats can take up to 72 hours to process due to large intake and volume. Clients are limited to six free spay/neuters under this program. Call to schedule an appointment. From now through Dec. 31, existing FCNMHP customers can refer someone and both will receive $10 at First Coast No More Homeless Pets. If you’ve had at least one prior
appointment, you’re eligible to “refur” someone who’s never visited. The new customer must print a certificate posted on the website, (fcnmhp.org) (“I’ve Been Refurred!”) and follow the instructions to redeem. The existing customer must first wait until the “refurred” customer visits First Coast No More Homeless Pets before redeeming their own printed certificate (“I Refurred a Friend”). Either way, it’s a good deal for a good cause! NEW YEAR’S EVE BENEFIT A gala event to benefit Nassau Humane Society with the band Crescendo Amelia is held at 8 p.m. Dec. 31 at Atlantic Recreation Center Ballroom, 2500 Atlantic Ave., Fernandina Beach, 302-6086, details at crescendoamelia.com. The Society also needs volunteers for its dog park and other programs, nassauhumanesociety.com. BARK & BOWL IV It’s never too early to make plans with your best friend. The North Florida Chapter of the National Canine Cancer Foundation hosts a fun event that benefits dogs everywhere while striking out canine cancer, 6-9 p.m. Jan. 23 at Bowl America Mandarin, 10333 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville, 571-5829. Bowling, drink specials, and raffle prizes are featured. Teams of four or more must raise $500 to
ADOPTABLES
NORMAN Holiday Spirit Seeks Cheerleader I love smiling. Smiling’s my favorite! If you’re looking for a big, goofy elf for your shelf, I’m the one for you! I’m a very good boy and I know not to lift my leg near the tree. How about you bake some cookies and I’ll be the official taste-tester? Let’s make it a Happy Pawlidays with me under the tree! For adoption information, visit jaxhumane.org secure a lane to bowl for a great cause. All donations are 100 percent tax-deductible, 877-411-3436. PAWS PARK, WINGATE PARK This convenient park is open 5 a.m.-10 p.m. daily (closed Thursdays for maintenance) at 199 Penman Rd. S., Jax Beach, 247-6236. The membership park costs $50 to join — and here’s what you and your pup can enjoy: large dog area, small dog area, handicapped parking, restrooms, automatic watering bowls, benches, trees, poop bag dispensers and waste bins. JACKSONVILLE HUMANE SOCIETY The Society is offering $25 adoptions throughout the month of December, for dogs more than 30 pounds and cats more than one year old. JHS will be open for adoptions on Christmas Eve until 2 p.m., and on New Year’s Eve until 4 p.m. There’s a microchip special this month, too, $10 at JHS’s Community Animal Hospital,
ADOPTABLES
TED
Santa’s Helper Wants to Retire After years at the frozen North Pole, I’m finally ready to settle down in sunny Florida. And like all good retirees, I’m looking to live a life of leisure. If you like napping, cuddling, and admiring your own good looks, we’ll be a purrfect fit. I know it’s a wonderful life with you by my side! For adoption information, visit jaxhumane.org 8464 Beach Blvd., Southside, 493-4611, jaxhumane.org. Don’t forget to support the Thrift Store at 8328 Beach Blvd., 724-9242, open 11 a.m.-6 p.m. Monday-Friday, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Saturday and noon-4 p.m. Sunday. HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS The city of Jacksonville offers this program during December. All adoptions are $40; there’s a form at coj.net; certain restrictions apply. 630-2489. To see your pet event here, send event name, time, date, location with complete street address and city, admission price, contact number/website to print, to mdryden@ folioweekly.com – at least two weeks before the event.
DECEMBER 16-22, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35
36 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 16-22, 2015
FREEWILL ASTROLOGY
JONESINâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; THE FOLIO WEEKLY CROSSWORD by MATT JONES. Presented by
SAN MARCO 2044 SAN MARCO BLVD. 398-9741
PONTE VEDRA
THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA
330 A1A NORTH 280-1202
FRENCH WINE, PLATO, GARNETS & ANIMAL SKINS
SOUTHSIDE
AVONDALE 3617 ST. JOHNS AVE. 10300 SOUTHSIDE BLVD. 388-5406 394-1390 AVENUES MALL
â&#x20AC;&#x153;Two-Way Streetsâ&#x20AC;? (Hey, look where youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re going!) ACROSS
1 Widescreen medium 5 DJ Kool ___ (hip-hop pioneer born Clive Campbell) 9 College football coach Amos Alonzo ___ 14 Blarney Stone land 15 Like much family history 16 Spanish citrus fruit 17 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Author unknownâ&#x20AC;? byline 18 City south of Tel Aviv 19 Adult insect stage 20 Tribal carving depicting the audience for a kidsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; show street? 23 Part of TMZ 24 More than just clean 25 Storm warnings 28 Macy Gray hit from the album â&#x20AC;&#x153;On How Life Isâ&#x20AC;? 29 Cold Mountain star Zellweger 30 Amos with the album â&#x20AC;&#x153;Little Earthquakesâ&#x20AC;? 31 Beach bucket 35 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Look out, bad generic street, my showâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s on the air!â&#x20AC;? 38 Lindsay Lohanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mom 39 Hose problem 40 Chair designer Charles 41 Incandescent light bulb depiction (because I have yet to see a CFL bulb depict one)
42 Philadelphia hockey team 43 Follow-up to â&#x20AC;&#x153;That guyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s escaping!â&#x20AC;? 47 Buena Vista Social Club setting 48 Financial street represents a smellrelated statute? 53 Came to a close 54 Nick Folesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; NFL team 55 Hawaii Five-O setting 56 Bothered constantly 57 Bendable joint 58 JAG spinoff with Mark Harmon 59 Mozartâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;___ Alla Turcaâ&#x20AC;? 60 Lawn sign 61 Acquires 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13
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Solution to â&#x20AC;&#x153;V: The Invasionâ&#x20AC;? (Sounds weird, but it works) (12/9/15)
DOWN
____ index The Flintstones pet Harness race pace Home to the worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s tallest waterfall Hulk and family Take out Completely destroy School excursion with a bus ride, perhaps Oscar the Grouchâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s worm friend Kitchen noisemaker Big name in violins Diary of a Madman writer Nikolai $1,000 bill, slangily
21 Device needed for Wi-Fi 22 Heart chambers 25 Street ___ 26 Jeans manufacturer Strauss 27 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Come ___!â&#x20AC;? 28 Ancient Greek region 30 Signs of a quick peel-out 31 Just go with it 32 Paris, Je Tâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;___ (2006 film) 33 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Skinny Loveâ&#x20AC;? band Bon ___ 34 Word in an express checkout lane which annoys grammarians
ARIES (March 21-April 19): The Neanderthals were a human species that co-existed with our ancestors, homo sapiens, for at least 5,000 years. They eventually died out and our people thrived. One reason why, says science writer Marcus Chown, is that we alone invented sewing needles. Our newborn babies had well-made clothes to keep them warm and healthy through frigid winters. Neanderthal infants, covered with ill-fitting animal skins, had a lower survival rate. Chown suggests that although this provided us with a mere one percent survival advantage, it was significant. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re ready to find and use a small yet crucial edge like that over your competitors.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Artist Robert Barry created â&#x20AC;&#x153;30 Pieces,â&#x20AC;? an installation consisting of pieces of paper on which heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d typed this: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Something which is very near in place and time, but not yet known to me.â&#x20AC;? According to my astrological omen-reading, this theme captures the spirit of the phase youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re entering. It will evolve in the weeks ahead. First itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be â&#x20AC;&#x153;Something which is very near in place and time, and is becoming known to me.â&#x20AC;? By mid-January, it could be â&#x20AC;&#x153;Something which is very near and dear, and has become known to me.â&#x20AC;? GEMINI (May 21-June 20): â&#x20AC;&#x153;There is in every one of us, even those who seem to be most moderate, a type of desire that is uncanny, wild, and lawless.â&#x20AC;? Greek philosopher Plato wrote that in The Republic. I mention this in time for your Season of Awakening and Deepening Desire. The days ahead are a time when you can, if you choose, fully tune in to the uncanny, wild, and lawless aspects of primal yearnings. Not saying you should act to gratify them; just feel and observe. Find out what they have to teach you. Wait until the new year before you consider expressing them. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Congratulations! Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve broken all your previous records for doing boring tasks that are good for you. On behalf of the other 11 signs, thank you for your heroic, if unexciting, campaign of self-improvement. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve not only purified emotional resources and cleared breathing room, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve made it easier for folks to help. Your duty isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t completed, though. There are a few more details to tend to before the gods of healthy tedium are finished. Start looking for a chance to make a break for freedom. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The English word â&#x20AC;&#x153;flukeâ&#x20AC;? means â&#x20AC;&#x153;lucky stroke.â&#x20AC;? It was first used in the game of billiards when a player made a good shot he or she wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t trying to make. Later its definition expanded to include any fortuitous event that happened from chance rather than skill: good fortune generated accidentally. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re about to be the beneficiary of what may seem to be a series of flukes. In at least one case, though, your lucky break is earned by steady work youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve done without any fanfare. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You may not have to use a literal crowbar in the weeks ahead, but this rough tool will serve well as a metaphor. Wherever you go, imagine youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got one with you. Why? Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time to jimmy open glued-shut portals â&#x20AC;Ś to pry loose mental blocks â&#x20AC;Ś to coax unyielding influences to budge â&#x20AC;Ś to nudge intransigent ones free of fixations. Anything stuck or jammed needs to get unstuck or unjammed through the power of your willful intervention. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The weeks ahead are a good time to consort with hidden depths and unknown riches. In
every way imaginable, go deeper and further. Cultivate a more conscious connection with core resources you sometimes take for granted. This is one time when delving into darkness can lead to pleasure and treasure. As you explore, remember this by author T. Harv Eker: â&#x20AC;&#x153;In every forest, on every farm, in every orchard on earth, whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s under the ground creates whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s above the ground. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s why placing your attention on the fruits you have already grown is futile. You canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t change the fruits that are already hanging on the tree. But you can change tomorrowâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fruits. To do so, you will have to dig below the ground and strengthen the roots.â&#x20AC;? SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In future weeks, pleasure pursuit could drain your creative powers, diminish collaborative possibilities, and wear you out. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s possible pleasure pursuit will enhance creative powers, synergize alliances, and lead to new opportunities. Which way to go? Depends on what pleasures you pursue. The dumb, numbing, mediocre type will shrink your soul. The smart, intriguing, invigorating variety will expand your mind. Say â&#x20AC;&#x153;hell, noâ&#x20AC;? to trivializing decadence so you can say â&#x20AC;&#x153;wow, yesâ&#x20AC;? to uplifting bliss.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Garnets are considered less valuable than diamonds. But in the wild, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an intimate connection between the gemstones. Wherever you find garnets near the surface of the earth, you can be reasonably sure diamonds are buried deeper down in the same location. Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s use this relationship as a metaphor for your life. I suspect youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve recently chanced upon a metaphorical kind of garnet, or will soon. They point the way to the bigger treasure â&#x20AC;&#x201C; make plans to search. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Ready for the Cool Anger Contest? You get maximum points when you express dissatisfaction in ways to generate the most constructive transformations. Bonus points are awarded for your ability to tactfully articulate complicated feelings, as well as for your emotionally intelligent analyses that inspire folks to respond empathetically rather than defensively. What are the prizes? First prize: A breakthrough in your relationship with an ally who may be crucial to your expansion in 2016. Second prize: Liberation from limiting beliefs. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Fourthcentury monk Martin was a pioneer winemaker in France. He founded Marmoutier Abbey and planted vineyards on the surrounding land. Legend says that Martinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s donkey had a crucial role in lifting viticulture out of its primitive state. Midway through one growing season, the beast escaped its tether and nibbled on a lot of the grapevines. All the monks freaked out, fearing the crop was wrecked. But the grapes grew better than ever, and the wine they produced was fabulous. Thus was born the practice of pruning, which became de rigueur for all grapegrowers. Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s your equivalent of Martinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s donkey? Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll exert its influence soon. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): â&#x20AC;&#x153;The deepest urge in human nature is the desire to be important,â&#x20AC;? said educator John Dewey. If thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s true, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re on the verge of having your deepest urge fulfilled more than it has in a long time. The astrological alignments suggest youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re reaching your peak of value to others. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re unusually likely to be seen, appreciated and acknowledged for who you really are. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been underestimating your worth, I doubt youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be able to still do so. Take realistic inventory of the ways your life has had a positive impact on the lives of others. Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com
DECEMBER 16-22, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37
NEWS OF THE WEIRD A LEGAL MATTER, BABY In November,
lawyer Michael Petersen of Appleton, Wisconsin, was ordered by county judge Philip Kirk (in a sentence for contempt of court) to inform every client he acquires in the next 12 months that Petersen is a “crook,” “cheat,” “thief ” and “liar.” Kirk concluded Peterson had lied about a plea deal with the prosecutor and created phony documents for backup, leading a client to plead guilty to armed robbery when the prosecutor said there was never such a deal. According to the Appleton Post Crescent, Kirk (after dressing down Petersen in colorful language) told him, “I want you to have as much business as a pimp in a nursing home.”
LAST ONE IN IS A DIRTY TURTLE
Scientists at Australia’s University of Queensland have developed “swimsuits” to act as diapers for six giant loggerhead turtles as they study their diets by examining their feces. “To our great surprise,” said one researcher, they “worked perfectly.” The suits were easy to put on, comfortable for the sea turtles to wear (according to the researchers, not the turtles), looked great (ditto), and we were “able to collect the entire fecal sample,” he bragged to a London Daily Telegraph reporter in Sydney.
I’D KNOW YOU ANYWHERE Damon Matthews, 19, surrendered to the police in Bay City, Michigan, in November and confessed to robbing a 7-Eleven. His sister convinced him that police would soon come to nab him because, even though he wore a ski-mask “disguise,” Matthews is 7-feet, 4-inches tall and was in high school with the clerk. It wasn’t noted why Matthews thought the mask would work.
CAN’T POSSIBLY BE TRUE Pastor Thom Miller, 60 (of United Christian Ministries International, Mansfield, Ohio), told an international news crew recently he’d “married” his 19-year-old pregnant girlfriend (Reba Kerfoot), but some in his congregation disapprove — because Miller’s already married (though his wife, Belinda, 44, apparently does approve). Said Belinda, “Thom is the love of my life and Reba is the blessing of my life, so it all works.” Said Miller, “Sexually I have no preference and look forward to my time alone with both wives.” Miller was an enforcer for organized crime in Cleveland until he “found God” in prison. He’s annoyed Ohio recognizes same-sex marriage but not polygamy.
OOPSIE On Dec. 2, a 48-year-old woman in Alicante, Spain, who according to neighbors had suffered from depression and was likely trying to commit suicide, leaped from her seventh-floor balcony — but did not die. She was hospitalized in stable condition after landing on an elderly gentleman sitting on a bench. He did not survive the collision.
VERY TRICKSY Dr. Bilgin Ciftci was fired
IT’S GOOD TO BE KING Once again,
in October from Turkey’s Public Health Institution and was later charged with violating one of President Recep Tayyip Erdogan’s favorite laws — against “insulting” the president (which gets a maximum four-year prison term) — because Ciftci had joined a Turkish Facebook thread denouncing Erdogan with facial images comparing him to the Lord of the Rings character Gollum. The judge, admitting his unfamiliarity, appointed a five-person group of experts to tell him if the comparison was “insulting.” (Rings director Peter Jackson immediately protested the images depict not Gollum but his benign alter ego Smeagol, making the comparison uninsulting.)
someone minding his own business in his own home has become royalty elsewhere. This time, it was a 32-year-old Vancouver, British Columbia, man with a wife and baby, working as a gardener — until he learned that a 6,000-member tribe in Ghana wanted him to be their new king. Thus, Eric Manu, a nephew of the last king who died in 2013, was asked in July 2015 to take over (part-time, at least), and by tradition, Manu’s Canadian wife will join him as queen (“mother of all mothers”). Eric said the couple will do whatever they can to improve lives in their village. Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net
PUT MY FIRE OUT You: Cute fireman, glasses, looking at stuffed dinosaurs. Wish you’d put my burning desire for you out with your big fire hose. Me: Brunette, yoga pants, hoodie. Too shy to introduce myself. Wish I’d said hello. When: Dec. 9. Where: Publix off Kernan & Atlantic. #1579-1216 ALRIGHT NOW! You: Tall, handsome, sweet leaf. Me: Just a duck. Let’s play Jenga @ Across The Street! When: Dec. 1. Where: Post & Edgewood. #1578-1216 GOOD LUCK CHARM TEACHER You: Blonde, glasses, long red skirt and shirt, wrist tattoo, near where I studied for final, grading papers. We talked, you said good luck, get sleep. Me: Gray sweater, white collared shirt. Coffee, talk again? When: Dec. 3. Where: Bold Bean Coffe Roasters Riverside. #1577-1209 GIFT WRAP MY HEART You: Beautiful, tall, brunette, green eyes, longest eyelashes ever. Me: Secret admirer. We chatted; fell for little freckle by your left eye, infectious smile. Could listen to you talk gift-wrapping all day. Burger and fries? When: Last week. Where: MOSH. #1576-1209 PLUMBA A penguin sighting that can only compare to Anton Ego’s flashback in Ratatouille; you bring me back to a happier place. Sweaty palms for this lucky bear clearly indicate that we miss each other’s face. One434Evr. When: Anytime. Where: Anywhere. #1575-1209 GREEN SUNGLASSES I see you everywhere. Can I take your sunglasses and smack you with them? You’re too cute for your own good. You’ll never notice me though... When: Every day. Where: FSCJ. #1574-1209 FOUND UR GIFT CARD, DONATED Target gift card, “To: J_ From: W_” Used card and my $30, bought and donated socks to Salvation Army. Sorry didn’t find you; hope you understand & appreciate doing good for others. When: Nov. 22. Where: Southside Loop parking lot. #1573-1202 CELTIC CUTIE @ CELTIC FEST You hugged me. I gave you band picture. You left with your friends too soon. Been thinking about that meeting ever since. Would like to continue where we left off. When: Nov. 14. Where: Jax Beach Celtic Fest. #1572-1125 LAVENDERISH HAIR You: Cute, blondish lavender hair, print dress; dropped phone outside library reopening. Me: Riverside guy, glasses, blue shirt; picked up phone, chatted. Met again; you left. Wanted to talk more. Like to get acquainted further. When: Nov. 14. Where: Willowbranch Library. #1571-1125 LITTLE RIVER BAND CONCERT You: Tall, long-haired dude, very handsome. Chatted in box office @ Florida Theatre. Me: Too shy to introduce myself. I’ll be @ Art Walk Nov. 19. If feeling’s mutual, bring me a flower. When: Nov. 5. Where: Florida Theatre. #1570-1111 FIRST WATCH HOT BREAKFAST You: Hot guy, adorable dog; sexy smile, gorgeous blue eyes, captured my heart. Me: In love with you. Hoping you’ll give me chance someday to be your Queen. Let’s run away to the islands together. When: Oct. 31. Where: First Watch Ponte Vedra. #1569-1104 IT MATTERS To me ... in my dreams. Remember still, our time. Your lips, your intoxicating scent. US, together. One night of bliss maybe? Mexican magic? When: Oct. 7. Where: Los Portalas. #1568-1104
38 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 16-22, 2015
MOM WANTS YOU Daughter and I outside Lynch’s. You: LEO on bicycle, handsome, great calves! Later, dealt with Walgreens drunk. Little shy … my daughter said to get your attention. Drinks, Super Troopers, Training Day … what’s your speed? When: Oct. 13. Where: Lynch’s Jax Beach. #1567-1028 YOU WAVED BACK GRINNING You: Bad-ass-looking guy, big black truck. Me: Soccer-mom-looking girl, silver minivan. Waved at you driving on 295-N, played a little cat-and-mouse, you got off on I-95-S. Let me prove looks can be deceiving. When: Oct. 3, 7-ish. Where: 295 North. #1566-1021 NOTHING MATTERS Self-hypnosis can’t stop me thinking from of you. No matter where I go and what I do, I still remember those beautiful eyes and the way my heart jumps when I see you. When: Oct. 6. Where: Luigi’s Pizza. #1565-1014 HOT MINI DRIVER You: Getting in red Mini near SunRay, hot white-rimmed glasses. Drake blasting from car as you almost hit in crosswalk; gave me a thumbs-up. Me: Tall skater nerd, Donuts For Jesus shirt. You Let’s hang out. When: Sept. 29. Where: Five Points. #1564-1014 TALL, DARK, HANDSOME, PATRIOTS FAN Jags/ Pats game. You: Pats shirt, jeans; with friends by bus watching game. Me: Short wavy auburn hair, Jags tank, cut-offs. Locked eyes as I went to sit. Heart skipped a beat at your handsomeness. Drinks on me, celebrate your win? :) When: Sept. 27. Where: Mellow Mushroom Jax Beach. #1563-0930 BOWL ME OVER Me: In the mood to be pinned. You: Lakers jersey. Bowling but said you’d rather play video games. Said you’re about to take a trip into Asia. Can we bowl balls together in Asia? When: Sept. 25. Where: Jax Lanes. #1564-0930 HUNGER GAMES Hungry; got hungrier you entered. Told me you were going east to eat genuine Asian. Wanted to talk more but you had to go because your cousin, Jimmy, owed you a quarter. Let’s eat out together? When: Sept. 14. Where: China Wok. #1562-0923 NICE SMILE You: Brown hair, thin bearded guy, nice smile, bright eyes, blue “Good” sneaker T-shirt, with friends. Me: Short, thin brunette, blue/white tank, table across yours. Caught your eye, smiled. Like to know you better. Grab a drink? When: Sept. 11. Where: World of Beer Southside. #1561-0916 ECLIPSE RIVERSIDE 9/11 Super-cute brunette, ’80s night, black romper, white sandals. With group. Me: Solo; noticed matching outfi t friend telling you to ask me to dance. Wanted to approach. Group left. Second chance? I’d dance the night away with you. When: Sept. 11. Where: Eclipse Riverside. #1560-0916 FIRE BUG I saw you, late night on a Friday. You were on fire, so hot. Couldn’t tell if it was your flaming personality or that fl aming staff. Night dives, long chats, but why you didn’t you ever text me? When: Sept. 4. Where: Beach. #1559-0916 YOU WALKED IN TATTOO SHOWIN’ ISU: Black leggings, open shirt, chest tat, soft voice, boots, hopeful eyes, smooth skin. You said black don’t crack. Love to have good time with you; you said futile; keep trying. Sorry about bad night. When: Sept. 4. Where: Parental Home Road. #1558-0916 BLUE ORBS You: Jean shorts, blonde hair, biggest blue eyes I’ve ever seen. I swear they glowed; when I fi rst saw you, lights in the place went dim. Can’t remember shirt color; just passing through, mesmerized by your eyes. When: Sept. 2. Where: Bold Bean Riverside. #1557-0909
CLASSIFIEDS HELP WANTED
HIRING ALL KITCHEN STAFF Gators Dockside is now hiring for experienced full time and part time kitchen staff! We are a brand new restaurant coming into Murabella Shopping Center near World Golf Village and looking for a team to grow. Gators Dockside is a family-friendly sports bar with fresh wings, fresh hand-patted burgers and homemade ribs. Come and fill out an application Monday-Friday, 10am-5pm. On-spot interviews and hiring will be done. 105 Murabella Parkway, St. Augustine 32092. (12/30/15) BE PART OF A MIRACLE- Become a Surrogate Mother and help a loving, infertile couple become parents! Earn $32,000 & up plus expenses paid. Call 888-363-9457 or contact ReproductivePossibilities.com. Reproductive Possibilities, an established Surrogacy Agency, seeks loving women to carry couples biological babies. Requirements: Between ages 21-43, nonsmoker and have previously given birth. (1-27-16) PHONE ACTRESSES FROM HOME Must have dedicated land line and great voice. 21+. Up to $18 per hour. Flex Hrs./most Wknds. 800-403-7772. Lipservice.net. (AAN CAN) (2-3-16) PAID IN ADVANCE! Make $1000 A Week Mailing Brochures From Home! No Experience Required. Helping home workers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity. Start Immediately! www. TheIncomeHub.com. (AAN CAN) (1/27/16)
MISCELLANEOUS
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HEALTH
FREE BIRTH CONTROL Looking for a new option? Get it free! Must be 18-35 years of age. Up to $840 compensation for your time. CNS Healthcare, 904-281-5757 or cnshealthcare. com. (12-16-15) ELIMINATE CELLULITE and Inches in weeks! All natural. Odor free. Works for men or women. Free month supply on select packages. Order now! 844-244-7149. (M-F 9am-8pm central) (AAN CAN) (12-23-15) STRUGGLING WITH DRUGS OR ALCOHOL? Addicted to PILLS? Talk to someone who cares. Call The Addiction Hope & Help Line for a free assessment. 800-978-6674. (12/16/15) VIAGRA!! 52 PILLS FOR ONLY $99.00. Your #1 trusted provider for 10 years. Insured and Guaranteed Delivery. Call today 1-888-403-9028. (AANCAN) (12/23/15)
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ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Lonely? Bored? Broke? Find the perfect roommate to complement your personality and lifestyle at Roommates.com! (2-3-16)
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ADULT
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VEHICLES WANTED
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DECEMBER 16-22, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 39