12/20/17 DRINK 2017 by Folio Weekly

2 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 20-26, 2017

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THIS WEEK // 12.20-12.26.17// VOL. 30 ISSUE 38 COVER STORY

DRINK 2017

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Explore the LOCAL COCKTAILS, BREWS, BREWING AND WINE CULTURE throughout Northeast Florida and Southeast Georgia SAND, SALT & SUDS

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BOTTLED POETRY

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THE SWEETER THE SPIRITS

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SO THICK AND SO SWEET

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BOOCH, PLEASE

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story by MARC WISDOM story by CLAIRE GOFORTH story by CLAIRE GOFORTH story by MARC WISDOM

story by BRENTLEY STEAD

FEATURED ARTICLES FEATURED

TRAIN IN VAIN

BY A.G. GANCARSKI Hunter Harrison’s DESTRUCTIVE, POINTLESS legacy

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AN INVITATION TO UNDERSTAND

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BY TIM GILMORE ANCIENT ETHIOPIA in the Bold New City

TRUMP VS. THE MEDIA BY LOUIS R. FRANZINI Guess who’s WINNING?

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COLUMNS + CALENDARS FROM THE EDITOR OUR PICKS MAIL/B&B FIGHTIN’ WORDS E PLURIBUS JAX NEWS AAND NOTES MUSIC

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FILM ARTS LISTING ARTS LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR DINING BITE-SIZED PINT-SIZED

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CHEFFED-UP PET PARENTING CROSSWORD / ASTROLOGY WEIRD / I SAW U CLASSIFIEDS M.D. M.J. BACKPAGE

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EDITOR • Claire Goforth claire@folioweekly.com / ext. 115 SENIOR EDITOR • Marlene Dryden mdryden@folioweekly.com / ext. 131 A&E EDITOR • Madeleine Peck Wagner madeleine@folioweekly.com / ext. 128 EDITORIAL INTERNS • Tommy Robelot, Josh Hodges CARTOONIST • Tom Tomorrow CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Rob Brezsny, John E. Citrone, Josue Cruz, Julie Delegal, Susan Cooper Eastman, Marvin Edwards, A.G. Gancarski, Dan Hudak, Shelton Hull, MaryAnn Johanson, Mary Maguire, Keith Marks, Pat McLeod, Nick McGregor, Jake Gerken, Kara Pound, Dale Ratermann, Nikki Sanders, Matthew B. Shaw, Chuck Shepherd, Brentley Stead, Chef Bill Thompson, Marc Wisdom VIDEOGRAPHERS • Doug Lewis, Ron Perry

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FOLIO WEEKLY MAGAZINE IS PUBLISHED EVERY WEDNESDAY THROUGHOUT NORTHEAST FLORIDA AND CAMDEN COUNTY, GEORGIA. It contains opinions of contributing writers that are not necessarily the opinion of this publication. Folio Weekly Magazine welcomes editorial and photographic contributions. Calendar information must be received two weeks in advance of event date. Copyright © Folio Publishing, Inc. 2017. All rights reserved. Advertising rates and information are available on request. An advertiser purchases right of publication only. One free issue copy per person. Additional copies and back issues are $1 each at the office or $4 by U.S. mail, based on availability. First Class mail subscriptions are $48 for 13 weeks, $96 for 26 weeks and $189 for 52 weeks. Please recycle Folio Weekly. Folio Weekly Magazine is printed on 100% recycled paper using soy-based inks.

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FROM THE EDITOR

Put your MONEY where their HEART is

THE SECRET TO

OUR SUCCESS SMALL BUSINESSES ARE MORE THAN THE BACKBONE of the national economy; they’re the lifeblood of the local community. Sometimes the goods and services may cost a little more, take a little longer, come in slightly smaller portions, or without the bells and whistles; but often the craft and quality is far superior at the corner donut shop, or toymaker, or jeweler, than at their super-sized rivals. These small businesses offer attention to detail and a personal touch that is rarely, if ever, found at a chain or on Amazon. This isn’t to say chains are evil and people who work at them are unworthy—far from it. But every dollar spent at a chain takes precious cents from the people who live and work in your community. As technology consumes us, converting treasured experiences into points and clicks, and Corporate America gobbles up Main Street with higher tax rates and the seductive promises of convenience and standardization and 90-day risk-free trials, we would do well to recall that something priceless is also often freely distributed by small businesses—a relationship. Of all the gifts we buy in this, the season of over-consumption and gluttony, friendship, one of the greatest gifts of all, cannot be boxed or sold. That’s what’s offered by the local bakers, dressmakers, farmers and, yes, altweekly publishers who every day chase the dream behind their own shingle or booth. They won’t come over and fix the sink for you (unless they happen to be a plumber), but they will be invested in your personal success and happiness in a way that no conglomerate ever will. Every other month or so for nearly five years, I have settled into the same chair for a wash, cut and style. In that time, I’ve come to know Pat and she to know me far beyond the ‘what side do you part on’ chitchat. She knows where all my cowlicks are, and also what matters most in my life. We’ve shared joys and sorrows, struggles and triumphs. True, ours is a business relationship: She cuts, I pay. We live in different parts of town, come from different generations and states and have not a single friend in common, but she’s not just the person who trims my split ends and suggests a new conditioner; through these regular exchanges, she has become my friend. If a tragedy were to befall one of us, the

other would grieve. If she were to move away, I would mourn her skillful scissors, yes, but her kind heart and conversation would be the things I’d miss the most. Just as she is invested in my continued health and happiness, I am invested in her one-woman salon’s success in a way I’ve never been for a Great Clips. I feel the same way about the family-owned pizza place that my husband and I frequent. It’s not just the addictive, translucent sheets of pepperoni that are nearly impossible to find this far south of Brooklyn, or the crispy, crunchy magic they pull out of that brick oven that have kept us coming back for nearly a decade; it’s our fondness for the feisty namesake, his ultra-chill wife, and unassuming parents who give the place its spirit. Elsewise, we might just get delivery or order a pie to go. Instead, more often we grab a table, order a beer or wine and catch up with them over some slices. If we moved away, we’d be sure to tell them well beforehand. Can you say that about your delivery driver? I could go on and on about the coffee shop owners, restaurants, bars, musicians and tailors who make Jacksonville the city that I know and love, how it pains me when we debate selling or giving our assets to multibillion-dollar enterprises or individuals for whom the bottom line is the only line that matters, folks who have zero investment in this town other than their actual investment. Suffice to say: The latter desn’t know the soul of this town, they don’t delight in its quirks, care about its kids and stay up late worrying about its faults. And they never will. If a city’s budget is a reflection of its priorities, then isn’t your personal budget also a statement of your priorities? Do you want to fill Jeff Bezos’ coffee cup this morning, or buy the Walmart heiress a burger for lunch? Wouldn’t you rather feed the family down the street dinner tonight? ’Cause when you shop small, far more of that money stays here, in the neighborhoods where we all work and play. And those pennies and bills are not merely putting bread on tables, gas in cars and kids in shoes; they’re funding something priceless: our community. Claire Goforth claire@folioweekly.com @ClaireNJax DECEMBER 20-26, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5

NIGHTS OF LIGHTS FOURTH ANNUAL KWANZAA CELEBRATION

TUE

If you agree that this time of year embraces much more than just one tradition, then learning about—and celebrating with—ritual and ceremony drawn from the African diaspora will only deepen the spirit of the season. This year’s Kwanzaa celebration is dedicated to the principle of Umoja: to strive for and to maintain unity in the family, community, nation and race. And there’s a drum circle (!!)—if you have one, bring it. It’s the first night of Kwanzaa, which runs through Jan. 1. In observance of Kwanzaa tradition, please bring a fruit or crops to place at the table. 6 p.m. Dec. 26, The Ritz Theatre & Museum, Downtown, free.

OUR PICKS

REASONS TO LEAVE THE HOUSE THIS WEEK

FRI

TUE

WED

BE-BOPPING & HEAD-NODDING

DJ MAKOTO The soaring sounds of soul remixed

and touched with drum-n-bass inflections might be just what your soul needs after an extended holiday weekend spent eating and drinking (aka sublimating) your feelings, lest the familial conversation take a turn toward the terribly awkward, loud and factually based— no matter what your born-again uncle sources from Alex Jones. Makoto offers Salvation (his new LP) from seasonal woes, 9 p.m. Tue., Dec. 26, Myth Nightclub, Downtown, $12-$107, mythexperience.com.

SEASONAL SWING

ON DASHER & COMET

If w we had to guess, we’d posit that Christmas got “st “stole” with sounds so timelessly perfect, they define thee sea rs season. This year, the more than 21 musicians, dancers and actors of Crescendo Amelia swing and laugh and inv invite you to visit with Santa, hit the photo booth and hea hear some of the sweetest sounds around. Singers iinclude nc Marah Lovequist, Reed Meyer, LoriAnn Mooney and Jennifer Burns. 7:30 p.m. Wed. & Thur., Dec. 20 & 221, Fernandina Beach Theatre, $10-$49 + fee, cre crescendoamelia.com. Proceeds benefit Fernandina Bea Beach Middle School.

Atone for bacchanal of eating and drinking (and maybe the added bonus of tired kids) in this Springfield-centric 5K run featuring a candy cane station, a hot chocolate station, a cookie station and our favorite: a Hershey’s kiss station! Santa attire encouraged. A 1-mile fun run ($20) is 5:30 p.m. 5K ($35) at 6 p.m. Fri., Dec. 22, Klutho Park, 1stplacesports.com.

HOW THE BIG BAND STOLE CHRISTMAS! HO S!!

SAT

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COMING IN HOT GLASS STUDIO DEMONSTRATION Watching glass being spun and shaped is an experience one is not likely to quickly forget. And should you be so inspired as to want to try your own hand at it, the glass studio Burnt Glassworks has pop-up make-your-own workshops the same day! 1-3 p.m. Sat., Dec. 23, 5105 Philips Hwy., Ste. 201, Southside, free admission, workshops $30-$35, burntglassworks.net. 6 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 20-26, 2017

RUN SANTA RUN 5K, 1-MILE FUN RUN

DECEMBER 20-26, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7

THE MAIL TAKING LIBERTIES

THE MOST PRESSING ISSUE BEFORE THE Constitutional Revision Committee is Florida’s “clemency” procedure for former felons to regain the right to vote. This subject certainly should be on the ballot in November 2018 for the voters to decide. Florida’s 1.5 million disenfranchised voters are one-quarter of the total disenfranchised former felons in the entire United States, and Florida is one of just four states in which 20 percent or more of African Americans have lost the right to vote due to a felony conviction. Attorney General Pam Bondi has conjured a constitutionally permissible clemency process that permits a miniscule number of former felons to abjectly approach Governor Rick Scott and beg for the right to vote again—some waiting for up to 9 years or more for that boon. There is a higher standard for the right to vote—and who should exercise it—that precedes the Voting Rights Act, the 15th Amendment, and the Constitution. It’s the standard of the American Revolutionaries: No taxation without representation! If you believe this letter to be off base, go to the online Florida Channel and watch the clemency panel at work. It’s an opaque, bureaucratic process contrived to fail—so says former Florida Senate President Don Gaetz. Michael Hoffmann via email

BLAME GUN CULTURE

RE.: “The Dead Bear No Witness,” by Claire Goforth, Dec. 13 I HAVE NO IDEA WHO’S GUILTY OR INNOCENT IN THIS case, but I think you missed the biggest point: If neither one of them had a gun, it probably would have ended up in a fistfight. It ended up with one dead and the other one’s life possibly ruined because so many people need to show how tough they are by brandishing guns. Robert Grossfeld via email

MISPLACED PRIDE

YOU KNOW WHAT’S FUNNY, WHEN I SAW THE MARCH at Charlottesville, the first thing that went through my mind was ‘torch made in China, shirt made in El Salvador, pants made in Malaysia, underwear made in

Honduras, and Doc Martins made in Thailand, unless they spent a bit more and got the ones from England.’ And when Shitler said Aryan blondes, I am pretty sure he did not mean bleach blondes. Pride in oneself is a good thing; I encourage it, but if you are going to claim genetic purity, prove it. I wonder what one of these rallies or marches would look like if I showed up with several bus loads of World War II Vets, armed to the teeth with assault weapons and told them the Nazis were here. That would not be funny. Brion Griffin via email

THE OLE RACE CARD

RE: “Art of Contrition,” by A.G. Gancarski, Nov. 29 I CONTINUE TO BE DUMBFOUNDED BY THE predictable tact A.G. always takes regarding this expolitician and the poor choices she made. I am appalled by the partisan approach to “journalism” he has taken, even if it means defending criminals who betrayed the public trust, and picking the low-hanging fruit by relying on the ole race card, which clearly had nothing to do with Corrine’s prosecution. Who cares if some of the people hanging around outside the courthouse were racists? Who cares whether her “donors” were rich? These are feeble attempts at misdirection, and rationalizing her subterfuge. If this was a Republican politician caught with their hand in the cookie jar, would A.G. be defending them so vehemently? John Hillon via email

SYSTEMATIC OPPRESSION MUST GO

RE.: “From Prisoner to Citizen,” by Julie Delegal, Dec. 6 EXCELLENT ARTICLE BY JULIE DELEGAL. SOMEHOW we need to change the system. Patti Veale via email

PASS THE PEACE PIPE

RE.: “Guns or Smoke, not both,” by Shelton Hull, Dec. 6 IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. YOU CAN TAKE OPIOIDS AND own a gun and a motor vehicle. It’s a freaking flower. If everyone smoked, we would probably have world peace. Brandy Thomas via Facebook

LEND YOUR VOICE If you’d like to respond to something you read in the pages of Folio Weekly, please send an email (with your name, address, and phone number for verification purposes only) to mail@folioweekly.com, visit us at folioweekly.com, or follow us on Twitter or Facebook (@folioweekly) and join the conversation.

BRICKBATS + BOUQUETS BOUQUETS TO LINDA STEIN The Jacksonville Humane Society named longtime board member and Capital Campaign Chair Linda Stein the first Board Member Emeritus in its more than 130-year history. In a release, JHS noted that Stein’s efforts (and donations from her and her husband David) have thus far raised $11 million of the $15 million to build its new facility, which opened in November to widespread acclaim. Like Bill Murray, Folio Weekly is suspicious of anyone who doesn’t like animals; it naturally follows that people who love animals are A-OK in our book. BRICKBATS TO STEDFAST BAPTIST CHURCH While the rest of us were celebrating the Jaguars’ going to the playoffs—the PLAYOFFS!—PinkNews was reporting on a local pastor giving congregants advice on how to avoid being served by a “gay waiter.” In the rare event that you don’t just get up and leave upon leaping to the conclusion that your server prefers romantic congress with same-sex partners, in a YouTube video, a pastor at Stedfast Baptist Church suggests seeking out a “lady that looks like a mom” and asking her to serve you. “You better tip her well, to let that foo-foo know what he missed out on,” he said. Ain’t no tip big enough to make up for bigotry, dude. BOUQUETS TO FIRST COAST NEWS In addition to delivering the news during Hurricane Irma, itself no enviable task for most, the team at First Coast News spent weeks documenting the disaster’s impact on San Marco. In a moving documentary called Five Feet High and Rising, First Coast News’ Anne Schindler (a former Folio Weekly editor) offers a gripping, emotional portrait of the damage and aftermath of the catastrophic flooding in the historic neighborhood. It is as much a cautionary tale as a story of community and survival. DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? HOW ABOUT A BRICKBAT? Send submissions to mail@folioweekly.com; 50 word maximum, concerning a person, place, or topic of local interest. 8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 20-26, 2017

FOLIO VOICES : FIGHTIN’ WORDS

TRAIN IN

VAIN Hunter Harrison’s destructive, POINTLESS LEGACY

TIMING IS EVERYTHING—AS THE death of now-former CSX CEO Hunter Harrison illustrates. Harrison died Saturday, due to “unexpectedly severe complications from a recent illness,” days after taking medical leave. If you’re going to pick a time of year to kick the bucket, this would be it. News publications are pumping out the holiday cheer, everyone’s either on vacation or thinking about it, and your obituaries won’t take a look at the destructive legacy of your last stop—especially since the person pushing the copy live is probably hungover from the holiday party. However, that legacy—specifically regarding the local CSX, which Harrison eviscerated in recent months—deserves a real examination. Early in the year, Harrison entered amid shareholder optimism and employee trepidation. The Wall Street Journal pushed out the news that Harrison was coming in to work his turnaround magic on CSX; shares jumped up 40 percent, per Forbes, which made the case in lauding his hiring that CSX was “stagnating … one of the least efficient railroads in North America.” The pot was sweetened to bring Harrison in; an option to buy nine million shares at market price, and an incredible $84 (EIGHTY F-N FOUR) million dollars. There may have been indications that Harrison wasn’t exactly at the peak of health. Exhibit A: his ever-present oxygen tank, which would have been an accessory to the Hunter Harrison action figure, had such a thing been made. Exhibit B: rambling, long meetings with senior staff, which one person described as “imagine Donald Trump leading a railroad.” Harrison, of course, immediately began implementing what he called “precision railroading ... a model proven to improve safety, create better service for customers, produce a proud and winning culture for employees, and generate exceptional, lasting value for shareholders.” In other words: “Make CSX Great Again!” How did it go? Spoiler alert: Whoops! The layoffs started locally last winter, a bloodletting of the very management positions that would’ve been necessary to implement said precision railroading. More than 1,000 people were dumped in Jacksonville alone as cuts were made throughout the company, including such non-essential workers as dudes in Chicago’s switching yards. Harrison talked about this in July, per the Florida Times-Union, at which point 2,300 people had been cut. “I thought we had a hell of a quarter,” Harrison said. This “hell of a quarter” included taking 900 locomotives and 60,000 freight

cars out of commission. And eliminating all but one dispatching station in a 23-state territory, because, after all, what can possibly go wrong? And shutting down most of the company’s 12 rail yards. By the time summer was all but a wrap, Congress wanted to know more about this amazing turnaround effort. Why? NBD, just “chronic service failures” (as the Rail Customer Coalition put it). “As has been widely reported, there are chronic service failures occurring across the CSX network which are impacting the entire North American rail network,” the August letter said, per the T-U. “Major service changes have been imposed with little advance notice, and CSX’s response to customer complaints has been woefully inadequate.” Harrison’s response? “Since coalitions do not have ser vice issues, we do not intend to continue a discussion with you about the service we provide to our customers.” Translation: GFY. So-called “extensive delays and communications breakdowns” led to CSX having to explain itself to the Surface Transportation Board in the fall. And STB was not happy, as a letter dated Dec. 14 showed. “The Board continues to hear complaints related to CSX service challenges or inadequate service, particularly about unsatisfactory ‘last mile’ service and lack of communication regarding changes of service before they occur,” the letter read. Spotlighted in the letter were problems with “car order fulfillment” and a year-overyear decline in “local service performance … including missed switches and poor on-theground communication and coordination with customers.” That’s precision railroading! Never mind the derailments and accidents that happened last year. We’d need a whole other column for that avoidable carnage. And never mind the way trains just stall out on the tracks—the San Marco Train and Baldwin are frequently criticized, of course, but for some real inaction, you can’t beat the track running parallel to Beaver Street on the Westside. So many citations have been given out in Duval that there is an “arrangement” between CSX and the city’s general counsel, where a few of the citations are paid out, but most are forgotten. After all, federal law allows trains to block tracks, no matter what locals say about it. Hunter Harrison got his payout for wrecking a company and then passed on in such a “sudden” way that the obits didn’t look at his true legacy of destruction of one of Jacksonville’s cornerstone companies. A.G. Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com • @AGGancarski

OVERSET

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FOLIO F OLIO VOICES VO C S : E PLURIBUS JAX ANCIENT ETHIOPIA in the Bold New City

AN INVITATION TO

UNDERSTAND

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FROM THE MATHEWS BRIDGE DOWNTOWN, YOU CAN see the red, yellow and green—the colors of the Ethiopian flag—that stripe the old gothic belltower, bright shades of spirit in the center of a drab post-urban emptiness. The dark-brick church housed the congregation of Fairfield Methodist for 73 years and has been home to Debre Berhan Holy Trinity Ethiopian Orthodox Tewahedo Church since 2005. The cornerstone reads “Livingston Mission Methodist Episcopal Church 1912”; the sign out front bears the current congregation’s name in Amharic. It’s Sunday, before a football game. As men wearing teal jerseys wander around outside the stadium holding “Need Tickets” signs two blocks away, I wander down the back stairs of this old building and find men and women wearing thin white garments, called shammas, children playing and laughing, as their parents sit at long tables, eating beef tibs and lamb in red pepper sauce on traditional injera bread. Solomon Siyoum (above, at left) greets me at the door, offers me a plate. “Please,” he says and gestures for me to take a seat. He’s gentle and patient with the little boy and girl who keep yanking his arm and climbing his leg. He says the church has about 100 members, and those members have about 80 kids. Between 1,000 and 1,200 Ethiopians live in Northeast Florida. Siyoum introduces me to two of the church’s three priests, Birhau Woldegebreal and Hadush Wereth (above, at right). Ethiopian Orthodox churches have from three to five priests, Wereth explains, because of the Transfiguration of Christ. In three of the Four Gospels, Jesus takes Peter, James and John with Him up a mountain to pray. There, Jesus begins to shine with a bright light, as Old Testament prophets Elijah and Moses, long dead, appear beside him. A voice emanates from a white cloud, saying, “This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.” The minimum of three priests at each church represents the disciples, and the maximum of five includes the old prophets. Worshippers wear the light cotton, white shamma over their street clothes, as Jesus is said to have shone brightly in his Transfiguration and, says Siyoum, “because the angels in Heaven are without color.” The shamma shines ethereal. Though the external brick of the church is dark, the floral patterns on the windows fill the sanctuary with light, and carpets and sacred art fill the small yet high-ceilinged space with hues red, blue, green and gold. The Ethiopian Orthodox Tewahedo Church claims a membership of 50 million worldwide. Ethiopian Jews consider themselves directly descended from Moses, the Biblical Queen of

Sheba who came to Jerusalem from Ethiopia. The Ethiopian Orthodox Church purportedly holds the Ark of the Covenant, the stone tablets of the Ten Commandments, at the Church of Our Lady Mary of Zion in the ancient city of Axum in Tigray Province. Amharic is the second-most spoken Semitic language after Arabic; Jesus spoke the Semitic language Aramaic. Doubtless, Ethiopian images of Jesus look more like the original Palestinian Jew he was than that most famous American Jesus profile, Warner Sallman’s 1940 blue-eyed and ultraEuropean Head of Christ. Solomon Siyoum balances his religious and ethnic identity with the concept of diversity. “We are all brothers and sisters,” he says, “regardless of faith. We embrace everyone else’s faith as we maintain our own identity.” He’s well aware that Christianity became the world’s dominant religion by way of European colonialism and trade, and that many mainstream Americans see darkskinned foreigners as other than, if not antithetical to, Christianity. But Siyoum is American as well as Ethiopian. “We want to invite America more and more to understand us,” he says. “Progressive Orthodox in Philadelphia and New York are offering services in our ancient Amharic, but also in English, like the Catholic Church uses English and Latin.” Recently, delegates from Bethel Baptist attended services here at Debre Berhan. Bethel is not only Jacksonville’s oldest and largest historically black church, but the city’s oldest Baptist congregation, since the gargantuan First Baptist Church seceded from Bethel as an all-white church after the Civil War. Hadush Wereth says the Ethiopian priests delivered the service in Amharic, while English translations projected on a screen. Siyoum says the church welcomes all of Jacksonville to the annual Timkat celebrations on Sunday, Jan. 14. As satellites of the central church in Axum, where the Ark of the Covenant is held, every Ethiopian Orthodox Church keeps a replica of the Ark. On Timkat, the Ethiopian Day of the Epiphany, priests carry the Tabot, the model of the Ark, through the streets in an elaborate, colorful procession. “We are proud to be part of Jacksonville,” Siyoum says, “as Ethiopians, and we would like Jacksonville to join us here, to celebrate together.” Timothy Gilmore EPluribus@folioweekly.com _____________________________________ E Pluribus Jax profiles unique individuals and groups that comprise and define our community. Share your local subculture/ethnicity/religious minority/disability/hairstyle or other otherness with us at epluribus@folioweekly.com.

DECEMBER 20-26, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11

NEWS AAND NOTES: COLOR EDITION TOP HEADLINES FROM THE ASSOCIATION OF ALTERNATIVE NEWSMEDIA GREENING IOWA

Little Village reports that last year, Iowa cut greenhouse gas emissions, due in part to increases in wind and solar power production and to a staggering 14 percent reduction in power plant emissions, according to a report from the Iowa Department of Natural Resources (DNR). Though statewide, the emission reduction was just 2 percent and the report said it was caused by various factors, including milder-than-usual weather. The news that consumers are reducing their power consumption, and that the state has decreased the amount of coal it uses to generate electricity, from 78 percent in 2005 to 47 percent in 2016, will be well-received by environmentalists. DNR Senior Environmental Specialist Marnie Stein told Little Village that this is the second year Iowa has reduced emissions, a trend expected to continue. As Margaret Mead famously said, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” Indeed.

< RED + ORANGE + BLUE + YELLOW = L

If you’re not a firefighter, these colors, in that order, probably don’t carry much significance. Well, fair reader, these are the colors of fire. Long believed a scourge of mankind, in decades past, we viewed forest fires as environmental abominations, tragedies wrought upon the landscape. In recent years, we’ve begun understanding the many benefits that fire brings to ecosystems adapted to such. In fact, such ecosystems, like the Florida dry prairie, actually need regular fire to thrive. That’s why today, many park services around the nation include prescribed burns in land management plans, with largely positive results. In October, the Nuns Fire tore through more than 50,000 acres in the Sonoma County area, engulfing most of the Sugarloaf Ridge State Park. The park remains closed for the time being, but James Knight of North Bay Bohemian recently toured it with a ranger, who told him that when the park reopens next year, visitors may find a stunning display of fire-following spring wildflowers, and a gradual return to an even more lush, greener landscape as the land naturally regenerates. “It’s something that people can look forward to, and feel hopeful and optimistic about their parks,” the ranger said.

< ALABAMA GOES PURPLE

Is it possible? Could it be that there is, at long last, an exception to voting the party line? Yes, indeedy, there must be, ’cause deepred Alabama voters have voted for a gosh-darn Democrat (albeit by an exceedingly slim margin). Doug Jones beating Roy Moore signals that voters are willing to tolerate only so much avarice in a candidate, even one who positioned himself as a gun-waving lunatic who has no business riding horses. Mobile’s Lagniappe noted that Jones’ win by more than 20,000 votes was largely due to write-in ballots. It was also due to the solid voting block of black people, particularly black women, who overwhelming voted for Jones in the Dec. 12 special election. Lagniappe reported that state GOP Chairman Terry Latham said Republicans were “deeply disappointed” at not electing the accused sexual predator, who was reportedly banned from the mall in his hometown, and that Republicans would be closely watching Jones until 2020, when he’s up for reelection. Bet you won’t find him preying on teenagers.

< A WHITER SHADE OF EVIL

In a torrential deluge that positively reeks of self-righteous white guilt and self-loathing in equal parts, in LEO Weekly, Shane Peabody Powell let fly on his white brethren for bringing the Earth basically everything that sucks, appropriating culture and idolizing monsters the likes of Woody Allen and Roman Polanski. “We white dudes are robustly and absofuckinlutely terrible,” Powell wrote, adding that: Our lives are absurdity writ large, like a naked barbarian airbrushed on the hood of a Monte Carlo with expired tags. Our noted atrocities are wrapped around the Earth to the point of strangulation. From the White House to your Uncle Terry’s pontoon boat, there isn’t a decent idea floating among us. It’s all sexual assault and the Confederate flag—gut the poor and slip more figures to the rich!

12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 20-26, 2017

His solution to containing the spread of terrible white people involves marching the Charlie Roses of the world “behind the barn” to take one in the temple and one in the chest. (Figuratively, one hopes.) Well said, dude, if a bit … extreme, shall we say? Bet you’re a hit at holiday parties.

“Here’s to alcohol, the rose-colored glasses of life.” —F. Scott Fitzgerald

ith the sun at its furthest point from where we lay our heads, the nights the darkest and longest of the year, we illuminate the sky, our homes and hearths with multicolored lights, fill the air with song, our mouths with the richest flavors and our hearts with joy and good tidings. Much merry-making and feasting awaits! In this, the season of celebration and cheer, renewal and reflection, it is tradition to gather with loved ones from near and far to toast health, happiness and another year gone by. So fill your cups with the best DRINKS around and raise a glass to all those you love and have loved. Salud!

INSIDE DRINK

BEER: SAND, SALT & SUDS

[14]

WINE: BOTTLED POETRY

[16]

story by MARC WISDOM

story by CLAIRE GOFORTH

COCKTAILS: THE SWEETER THE SPIRITS story by CLAIRE GOFORTH

[18]

MEAD: SO THICK AND SO SWEET

[20]

KOMBUCHA: BOOCH, PLEASE

[22]

story by MARC WISDOM

story by BRENTLEY STEAD

Photography by Madison Gross

DECEMBER 20-26, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 13

DRINK: BEER “For a quart of Ale is a dish for a king.” — William Shakespeare, The Winter’s Tale

SAND, SALT & SUDS

h b he brewers rewe re w rss aand we nd o nd owners wnerss of of SSouthern ou o uth herrn Company iin SSwells ll Brewing B i C Jacksonville Beach, Corey Adams and Jason Varney, are young and full of enthusiasm for their profession. Both are fathers to young children and share an insatiable thirst for creating and serving unique, Northeastern-style brews that tantalize and engage drinkers in their neighborhood and beyond. “About five or six years ago, we really got into brewing hardcore,” Varney said. “Jacksonville was sort of getting its legs under itself in the brewing world.” “Yeah, we kept saying to each other we should start a brewery here,” Adams added. “And that sort of pushed us to brewing more frequently. It led us to say, ‘Let’s make a run at this.’ We went from once or twice a month to several times a week.” Adams and Varney went to high school together in Rhode Island. Adams first came to Jacksonville while working for a Massachusetts financial firm, but soon founded his own web development company here. Varney was looking for something different after college and moved to the Sunshine State on Adams’ recommendation. He ended up getting a job at the same financial firm; after nine years, he left to open the brewery. “The city is taking such a cool turn,” Adams said. “When we first got here, it was just chain restaurants and now there’s such an exploding food scene.” Southern Swells’ innovative brews and the taproom’s modern design fit into the city’s rapidly expanding, diverse culinary scene. It evokes the beach as a beach bar should, but also presents a certain sophistication, with the just the right touch of rustic in the reclaimed wood and glass. Adams credits the look in part to his web design experience.

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“Naturally, “N Nat atur atu urally allly,, we’re we’rre New we New England England l d boys boys and demand d there’s h ’ a massive i d d ffor New N England-style IPAs, pale ales and double IPAs,” Adams said. “We wanted to be one of the breweries here in Florida that was producing those beers regularly.” “We’re constantly working on and tweaking our recipes,” Varney chimed in. “It’s definitely not an easy style to do well. So, we spend a lot of time doing pilot batches and switching things around trying to [get it perfect].” Though Southern Swells specializes in quaffs in the styles of the Northeast, it’s well-grounded in the local community, using local ingredients and maintaining collaborations with local businesses. Their Bold Brewed Series coffee porter, which utilizes a different Bold Bean coffee in each batch, is a prime example. “We went down to Bold Bean and did a cupping,” Adams explained. “Which was a cool process for us. We tasted five roasts altogether, from their primary blend to theirr single origins to the Ethiopian we went with h [in this month’s release].” The friends and brewers strongly crafted d beer means it’s created with a great deal of artistry and care. “There is just so much you can do with beer,” said Varney. “People who say they don’t like beer haven’t really had good beer. There are just so many ingredients, from fruit to grain to whatever you want …” “Donuts,” Adams interjected with a laugh, h, referring to an upcoming collaboration. “If you are producing a quality beer with qualityy ingredients, that’s craft.” These two Yankee transplants hope their legacy of a strong work ethic and example of hard work transfer to their children and is evident in their product. From all indications,, these qualities are obvious already. Marc Wisdom m marc@folioweekly.com m

EUROPEAN STREET CAFE Blvd., Jax Beach Beach, 249 249-3001 992 Beach Blvd 3001 2753 Park St., Riverside, 384-9999 5500 Beach Blvd., Southside, 398-1717 1704 San Marco Blvd., 398-9500, europeanstreet.com V PIZZA 1406 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 527-1511 12601 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 647-9424 528 First St. N., Jax Beach, 853-6633, vpizza.com KICKBACKS GASTROPUB/GOOZLEPIPE & GUTTYWORKS 910/914 King St., Riverside, 388-9551, kickbacksgastropub.com SOUTHERN SWELLS BREWING COMPANY 1312 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 372-9289, southernswells.com CAFÉ KARIBO/KARIBREW BREW PUB & GRUB 27 N. Third St., Amelia Island, 277-5269, cafekaribo.com ENGINE 15 BREWING CO. 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217, Jax Beach, 249-2337, engine15.com BOLD CITY BREWERY 2670 Rosselle St., Ste. 7, Riverside, 379-6551 109 E. Bay St., Downtown, 503-7682, boldcitybrewery.com BARLEY REPUBLIC IRISH PUBLIC HOUSE & RESTAURANT 48 Spanish St., St. Augustine, 547-2023, barleyrepublicph.com HYPERION BREWING COMPANY 1740 N. Main St., Downtown, 518-5131, hyperionbrewing.com PINGLEHEAD BREWING COMPANY 14B Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 276-5150, pinglehead.com WICKED BARLEY BREWING COMPANY 4100 Baymeadows Rd., Mandarin, 379-7077, wickedbarley.com

DECEMBER 20-26, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15

DRINK DR RINK: WINE “Wine makes every meal an occasion, every table more elegant, every day more civilized.” — André Simon

BOTTLED POETRY

rink what you enjoy, don’t drink what people tell you to like.” This isn’t the advice one might expect from a sommelier and general manager of one of the hottest new restaurants in town. But Matt Mannick doesn’t come across as the type to be pigeonholed by others’ expectations. A self-made man who’s blazed a trail from rural Pennsylvania to Northeast Florida and beyond, becoming a standout in the culinary industry, Mannick’s story combines equal parts hard work, passion, talent and luck. Growing up in Waymart, Pennsylvania, a small town of 1,300, Mannick spent summers on dirt bikes and four-wheelers and winters on skis and snowboards. “I’m really happy to have grown up there,” he said during the lull between lunch and dinner service on a recent weekday. After graduating from Pennsylvania State University in the mid-aughts, Mannick planned to move to North Carolina until a trip to Jacksonville convinced him otherwise. In June 2005, he settled in the town that has now become his home. Though he didn’t intend to pursue a career in the restaurant industry, he’d waited tables in college, an experience that paired quite nicely with his degree in marketing and management to make him a choice hire for local culinary powerhouses. His résumé reads like a list of must-try Northeast Florida restaurants: Biscottis, bb’s, The Capital Grille, Black Sheep, Bistro AIX, Il Desco and now Cowford Chophouse. “I love busy nights … it’s a high almost that you want to keep chasing,” he said. Mannick credits Allan DeVault of Black Sheep for teaching him “a tremendous amount” about wine. He also did a turn at sales and marketing with PRP Wine International.

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Though he says he “randomly” got involved in the wine business, wine has become much more than a focus of his career—it’s a passion he delights in sharing with his wife, Emily, also a level-one sommelier, whom he says has the superior palate. “We’re dorky; we like to talk about wine … we quiz each other on it,” he said. Mannick’s passion for the grape has also presented opportunities for him to literally expand his horizons. In recent years, he’s traveled to Italy for Ferrari camp, tasting scores of bubblies, and gone to Napa Valley for a “steakhouse summit,” during which he learned about pairing wine with particular cuts of meat. (And you thought schlepping to a business conference in Tampa during Gasparilla was fab.) Prior to his recent promotion to general manager of Cowford, as vicepresident of the Forking Amazing Restaurants group, Mannick created several wine lists, most recently the selection at Cowford. Mannick said that he spent four months creating the 350-bottle wine list; in that time, he estimates, he tasted an incredible 1,500 wines. “Usually after I make a list, I don’t have a glass of wine for a month,” he laughed. Creating a wine list is far more nuanced than merely choosing some tasty vintages; Mannick said that one of the challenges is to select wines for the customer, rather than the taster. “I usually create categories within the list … [that] fit the price range, fit the concept.” As to wine ratings, though Mannick admits that he would be compelled to seek a bottle that was rated the rare 100, he thinks that ratings are often, well, overrated. “I don’t find them that important,” he said. “To me, it’s all about what you like, not what somebody should tell you to like.” Claire Goforth claire@folioweekly.com

LOCAL WINE HOT SPOTS

BIN 39 St. George Inn, 4 St. George St., Ste. 4, St. Augustine, 827-5740, stgeorge-inn.com BLACK SHEEP 1534 Oak St., Riverside, 380-3091, blacksheep5points.com CARRERA WINE CELLAR 35 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine, 217-4751 CELLAR 6 6 Aviles St., St. Augustine, 827-9055, cellar6staugustine.com COWFORD CHOPHOUSE 101 E. Bay St., Downtown, 862-6464, cowfordchophouse.com ESPAÑA RESTAURANT & TAPAS 22 S. Fourth St., Fernandina, 261-7700, espanadowntown.com IL DESCO 2665 Park St., Riverside, 290-6711, ildescojax.com J.J.’s BISTRO 330 A1A N., Ste. 209, Ponte Vedra Beach 7643 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 105, Southside, jjbistro.com LE CLOS 20 S. Second St., Fernandina, 261-8100, leclos.com RESTAURANT ORSAY 3630 Park St., Riverside, 381-0909, restaurantorsay.com SALT The Ritz-Carlton, 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., 277-1100, ritzcarlton.com TAVERNA SAN MARCO 1986 San Marco Blvd., 398-3005, taverna.restaurant TOWN HALL RESTAURANT JACKSONVILLE 2912 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726, townhalljax.com THE WINE BAR 320 N. First St., Ste. 102, Jax Beach, 372-0211 WINE CELLAR 1314 Prudential Dr., Southbank, 398-8989, winecellarjax.com

Visiting Best of Jax winner for best wine list THE WINE BAR in Jax Beach can spark the wine lover in you as well as provide you with ample opportunity to fan the flame. DECEMBER 20-26, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17

DRINK: COCKTAILS

“Don’t bother with churches, government buildings or city squares; if you want to know about a culture, spend a night in its bars.” — Ernest Hemingway

THE SWEETER THE SPIRITS

ortheast Florida is unquestionably in the midst of a craft cocktail renaissance. Where once discriminating imbibers seeking something unique could find at best a mojito, margarita or old-fashioned, today there are nearly limitless exotic options that include such fanciful additions as housemade jalapeno simple syrup, angostura bitters, ginger liqueur and egg whites. Candy Apple Café & Cocktails’ Bar Manager Shaun Gillespie agrees that it’s a good time to quaff. The 35-year-old native of Cape Town, South Africa, is himself a more simple man when it comes to drinking, however, telling Folio Weekly that Southern Comfort on the rocks is his pleasure. But don’t let that fool you into thinking his drinks are plain: Gillespie is a genius mixologist who delights in using all the tools at his disposal which, in his case, include the many confectionary delights of Sweet Pete’s. “I love it,” he said, “being that we’re in a candy store, it gives us a chance to play around with candy and cocktails.” Accordingly, the craft candy cocktail menu at Candy Apple includes such delightful embellishments as swizzle sticks, sea salt caramels, sour watermelon gummies and, for ’80s kids, pop rocks. If sweets aren’t your thing and you can’t find anything that suits your palate or mood on the menu, don’t be afraid to ask for an off-menu recommendation— depending on how busy the bar is, of course. “If you don’t like my drink menu, let me see if I can create something for you,” Gillespie said. After 18 years in the restaurant business, eight behind the bar, including three at

18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 20-26, 2017

Candy Apple—“since Day One,” he said with pride—some might expect that Gillespie would have grown weary of talkingg to strangers. Not so. Gillespie didn’t hesitate when a reporter asked what he likes about the job. “Honestly, just the interaction with the guests … just being able to connect through cocktails,” he said, grinning. The husband and father who relocated to the area five years ago has witnessed firsthand the evolution of the cocktail in Northeast Florida. Asked what he thinks of the creative cocktail revolution presently gripping the region, Gillespie grew contemplative. “It opens up the world to know alcohol on a different level,” he said thoughtfully, after a moment. “It’s mind-blowing; the possibilities are endless.” For our interview, Gillespie whipped up a spectacular holiday special, the White Chocolate Peppermint Martini. Watching him as he carefully dipped the rim of the glass in marshmallow fluff—yes, marshmallow fluff—then followed that with h crushed candy cane, one might fantasize off a day spent in a Willy Wonka theme park for adults. One imagines that picnicking alongside a chocolatini river, perhaps snacking on rum-soaked, chocolatecovered cherries or sipping on a warheadinfused Moscow Mule with a strawberry Twizzler straw would be a delightful way to o pass the afternoon. Disney probably won’t be adding Willy Wonkaland or Cocktail Kingdom to its theme park offerings any time soon, though. Luckily, we have we have the next best thing: Candy Apple Café. Ask for Shaun. Claire Goforthh claire@folioweekly.com m

LOCAL LO OCAL COCKTAIL CURATORS CANDY APPLE CAFÉ & COCKTAILS 400 N. Hogan St., Downtown, 353-9717, candyapplecafeandcocktails.com

THE VOLSTEAD 115 W. Adams St., Downtown, 414-3171, thevolsteadjax.com DOS GATOS 123 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 354-0666, dosgatosjax.com HOBNOB 220 Riverside Ave., Ste. 110, 513-4272, hobnobwithus.com LOCALS’ COCKTAIL LOUNGE 869 Sadler Rd., Fernandina, 775-5943 SIDECAR 1406 Hendricks Ave., Southbank, 527-8990, drinksidecar.com THE GRAPE & GRAIN EXCHANGE 2000 San Marco Blvd., San Marco, 396-4455, grapeandgrainexchange.com GREEN TURTLE TAVERN 14 S. Third St., Fernandina, 321-2324, greenturtletavern.com THE ICE PLANT BAR 110 Riberia St., St. Augustine, 829-6553, iceplantbar.com ODD BIRDS BAR 33 Charlotte St., St. Augustine, 679-4933, oddbirdsbar.com MOXIE KITCHEN + COCKTAILS 4972 Big Island Dr., Southside, 998-9744, moxiefl.com

DECEMBER 20-26, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 19

DRINK: MEAD “The years have passed like swift draughts of sweet mead in lofty halls beyond the West.” — J.R.R. Tolkien

SO THICK AND SO SWEET

t doesn’t take a genius to see that John Harris of Harris Meadery in Orange Park is passionate about mead. In fact, Harris is more than happy to share his voluminous knowledge on the subject at the drop of a hat. And, one Sunday afternoon that’s exactly what he did as we sat down and talked all things mead. “If your culture came in contact with bees,” he said. “You probably have your own [mead] origin story. The oldest known record is more than 8,000 years old from ancient China on pottery shards. That is the oldest known written recipe of mead.” Harris started as a homebrewer in 1991 while a college student, double-majoring in psychology and biology, because he wasn’t a fan of the tasteless “foam water” produced by major breweries. He and his roommate brewed in their dorm room and fermented in the closet. Unfortunately, while he was away on spring break with his then-girlfriend, Harris’ roommate drank the entire batch. “So I never even got to taste my own first beer,” he said. “Mead was just a natural offshoot of homebrewing. I started messing around with it in 2001. My first mead tasted like rocket fuel and I thought I had screwed it up. Little did I know, before I poured it all down the drain, that that was how it was supposed to taste, because a traditional mead has to age nine months to a year before it starts to taste like it should.” Harris stepped away from brewing meads until he met his wife Melissa and again began experimenting. He entered a few in competitions, regularly earning Best of Show honors. His signature Key Lime Pie Mead was a standout that led to his getting distribution for the brew and starting Harris Meadery (slogan: “Get Your Buzz On!”).

20 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 20-26, 2017

“We talked to the director of economic development in Town of Orange Park and just decided to go for it,” Harris said. “They said, ‘As long as you’re not selling it on premises, we don’t have a problem with it.’” So Harris, with his wife’s blessing, built a 900-square-foot workshop in the backyard of their home and began tinkering with recipes, while starting several beehives to supply some of the honey. Russian bees are his preference, because they’re highly productive and havee a natural tendency toward cleanliness. Mead is experiencing somewhat of an upswing in popularity as younger drinkers discover its complex flavors. Many drinkerss have the misconception that because mead is made from honey, it must be cloyingly sweet. Nothing could be further from the truth. Just like wine, there are sweet, semisweet and dry varietals. And mead, like beer, is very much a craft-made product. “Craft to me–and really any artisan movement–is based on doing things by hand,” Harris said. “We like to make all of our meads by hand and to use local products in them. Our focus is on doing things by hand rather than pushing a button. We want to bring the artistry back.” Given the craft craze that has been raging across the nation in recent years, it’s only natural that more drinkers will turn to the ancient brew. Harris concluded, “We really want people to get into meads like they get into craft beers, by trying the different ones we have out there. We are hopeful it will represent the next evolution in the craft beer movement.” Marc Wisdom marc@folioweekly.com

FIND MEAD LOCALLY

BROUDY’S LIQUORS 35 N. Ponce de Leon Blvd., St. Augustine, 829-6909, broudys.com 516 W. Geoffrey St., St. Augustine, 417-2090 138 S.R. 13, Julington Creek, 482-0955 353 Marsh Landing Pkwy., Jax Beach, 273-6119 5000 U.S. 17, Ste. 1, Orange Park, 269-7029 DAHLIA’S POUR HOUSE 2695 Post St., Riverside, 738-7132, dahliaspourhouse.com HARRIS MEADERY johnh@harrismeadery.com, Orange Park HOURGLASS PUB & COFFEE SHOP 345 E. Bay St., Downtown, 469-1719, hourglasspub. com RIVERSIDE LIQUORS 1251 King St., Riverside, 356-4517, riversideliquors.biz SILVER COW 931 Edgewood Ave. S., Murray Hill, 513-8621, silvercowjax.com TOTAL WINE & MORE 4413 Town Center Pkwy., Ste. 300, St. Johns Town Center, 998-1740, totalwine.com

DECEMBER 20-26, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 21

DRINK: KOMBUCHA “Let nothing which can be treated by diet be treated by other means.” — Maimonides

BOOCH, PLEASE

ermented er rme men ntted d ffoods ood oo ods ds aare re aall re ll the the he rage ragge and an nd kkombucha om mb buccha ha iiss at tthe he fforefront, oreffro ron nt nt a gateway drug to the fermented kingdom. The fizzy, slightly sweet drink with a sharp bite and fruity flavors is rather addicting. Hive Alive’s jun, pronounced june, made with honey instead of sugar, is the newest player in town. Hive Alive was started a year ago in Ponte Vedra by Mary “Queen Bee” and James “Worker Bee” Sneed. They’re on a mission to build a company that holds community and health to the highest standards. The (mostly) retired CPAs were inspired to start their own journey in the beverage industry by the nephew of a close family friend, Wiley. Wiley was chronically ill and suffered from ulcerative colitis. He found that drinking jun provided great health benefits for him and his friends. If you’re a lover of traditional kombucha, a black tea made with sugar fermented with the help of a SCOBY (the acronym stands for Symbiotic Culture Of Bacteria and Yeast), then you’ll probably enjoy jun, a more mellow, slightly sweeter version made with green tea and honey. As far as tea goes, green tea is traditionally less processed than black tea, which is roasted for part of its color and flavor (due to the expense and delicate nature, white tea is often left out of the mix). To make jun, a different type of SCOBY is required, so its taste is unlike that of its more typical, mass-produced cousin. This kind of kombucha is not often found in stores. According to Mary, at the time they registered Hive Alive, they were one of “only four companies in the U.S. selling jun kombucha.”

22 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 20-26, 2017

Hive describe Hiivvee Alive H Alive livvee llikes li ikkeess tto o de d essccrib riibe be jjun un n aass the the th fun ffu un sister sisstterr of sist si of the th he kombucha komb ko buc uch ha ffamily ha am miilly off mostly moost stly stl ly non-alcoholic drinks—kombucha sold in retail establishments has less than 0.5 percent ABV. (In 2015, CNN quoted Ed Rothbauer, owner of Colorado-based High Country Kombucha, as saying it would takee eight bottles of kombucha to get a buzz equal to that of a single beer.) The Sneeds say jun is a version that “has the same great benefits of kombucha, but holds a lighter, softer and generally more palatable flavor, and isn’t nearly as sour.” That palatable sweetness is due to the local honey they usee to ferment the tea. It’s a good intro to wary kombucha tasters, and if you’ve been put off by the sometimes-strong, sour taste of kombucha, try Hive Alive. Mary said they get lots of positive feedback from customers. s. Jun has all the same benefits you’ve come to know and love from kombucha: good-for-your-belly probiotics, nutrients, antioxidants and flavonoids. The down-toearth Mary jokingly says, “I swear, I still don’t know what a flavonoid is … I don’t have a chemistry background.” However, a chemistry background wasn’t needed for her to create some amazing flavors. It took the passionate home chef a year-and-a-half of experimentation to create a product line that’s as different, diverse and delicious as any kombucha you’ve ever tried. Pop a bottle of Pineapple Turmeric, Lemon Ginger, Simple Jun, Tangerine Cream, Groovy Grape or the recently added Cherry Limeade and Blueberry Hibiscus. “It’s exhausting, but I love it. I’ve met the most interesting people,” said Mary. “ … That was a bonus that I hadn’t counted on.” Brentley Stead biteclub@folioweekly.com

FFIND IND KKOMBUCHA OMBUCHA LLOCALLY: OCALLY: GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET 2007 Park St., Riverside, 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com 1915 East-West Parkway, Fleming Island, 541-0009, grassrootsnaturalfoods.com

EARTH FARE 11901 Atlantic Blvd., Intracoastal, 645-9244, earthfare.com 11700 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 262-5423 LUCKY’S MARKET 580 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 595-1916, luckysmarket.com NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI 1585 Third St. N., Jax Beach, 458-1390 10000 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 260-6950 11030 Baymeadows Rd., 260-2791, nativesunjax.com THE MANATEE CAFÉ 525 S.R. 16, Ste. 106, St. Augustine, 826-0210, manateecafe.com LOCAL BOOCH KOMBUCHA BREWING 687-4800, localbooch.com GNARBUCHA, CRAFT BREWED KOMBUCHA 1257 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, 508-3330, gnarbucha.com

DECEMBER 20-26, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23

FOLIO A + E

elly Green’s debut recording, Life Rearranged, released just a few weeks ago, has cemented her place as one of the most-talked-about new jazz artists in America, a rapid rise which makes her the quintessential local girl made good. The Jacksonville-based pianist has plied her trade within the ruthless confines of New York City for the past couple of years, and she’s certainly made the most of every waking moment. Seven of the album’s 13 tracks are her own compositions; four feature the great Christian McBride, arguably the No. 1 jazz bassist working anywhere in the world today. She’s a big, big fan of his work, and the admiration is reciprocal, as he wrote on the inside cover of the CD: “Kelly Green is one of the most talented and spirited people I know. Everything about her is joyous and swingin’!” Those who’ve followed her relentless path to success—and I count myself among them—readily agree. Green was born into a musical family in Deland, and grew up in Orlando, where her father is a bassist. She began playing the piano at age 5, but she’s been singing since she was a baby. “I fell in love with Thelonious Monk’s music when I was 11 years old,” she says, “and I’ve been studying jazz ever since. I specifically started with his album Brilliant Corners [released in 1957] and the album Thelonious Monk with John Coltrane,” recorded in 1957, arguably the greatest year in history for that genre. Her initial training was under Jamey Aebersold and Debbie Clifton, before polishing her skills under Lynne Arriale

24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 20-26, 2017

FILM Two Very Different Horror Flicks FILM Downsizing Review MUSIC Stono Echo CD Release ARTS Tabi P LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CALENDAR

GREEN’S

ENERGY IIt’s t’s eeasy asy bbeing eing K Kelly elly G Green. reen At least it LOOKS THAT WAY

en at UUNF. NF “The rea aso sonn I and Bunky Gree Green reason am here today, however, is because of the great Mulgrew Miller,” she says. “He was an incredible human being and created his own language on the instrument and with his compositions. I would not be here today without him.” The pianist was a visiting artist at UNF and helped smooth her passage to William Paterson University in Wayne, New Jersey. While there, she furthered her training under James Weidman and Harold Mabern. After completing her studies, she moved to New York in 2014. “I’d dreamed of moving to NYC since I was about 15 years old when I was starting to really fall in love with jazz,” she says. “So when I was already in New Jersey, I figured it just made sense to hop over the bridge and hope for the best.” Her instincts were correct: It wasn’t long before she was getting bookings in the city’s resurgent jazz scene, which is suffused with talent from this area. In the subsequent three

ye year arss sshe’s he’ss pperformed he erfo er form rmed ed iinn ssuch uch hip, years, happening, historic spots as The Blue Note, B.B. King Blues Club & Grill, Dizzy’s Club Coca-Cola (in Lincoln Center, no less), Minton’s Playhouse (where bebop was born in the early ’40s), Mezzrow, Smalls Jazz Club, The Django NYC, Zinc Bar New York, Fat Cat, The Bitter End, Bowery Electric, Rockwood Music Hall, The Flatiron Room, Fine & Rare and the venerable Apollo Theater, as well as gigs in places as diverse as Orlando, San Rafael, Hartford and Medellin, Colombia. That’s an impressive CV for an artist of any age, but it’s downright stunning for someone so young. Green’s eponymous trio is currently working at Cleopatra’s Needle on the Upper West Side every Sunday, running a jam session for the second half of the night, which lets her give back to the business that’s given her so much. Playing piano while singing is not as easy as it looks (consider: Little Richard, Jerry Lee Lewis, etc.). “It’s extremely hard to do

PG. 26 PG. 28 PG. 31 PG. 32 PG. 33

both and be completely free with both at the same time,” she says. “To have good vocal technique and phrase freely while accompanying on piano and playing with the rhythm section is very challenging, but I like to challenge myself.” In the grand tradition of great jazz records, Life Rearranged was recorded over the course of two days in late 2016, live, in-studio with no overdubs. She brought a band comprising the crème de la crème of New York’s session musicians, including McBride, whom she met while working for his nonprofit, Jazz House Kids, up in Montclair. His nickname for her is “Wynton Kelly Green,” a nod to Wynton Kelly, pianist on Miles Davis’ classic Kind of Blue. She pulled from an archive of roughly 50 songs she’s written so far, filling out the set with tunes by Frank Loesser, Paulette Girard, Sammy Cahn and Cole Porter. “My favorite song is always one that I just recently learned,” she says. “Right now, it’s probably ‘Tongue Twister’ by Mulgrew Miller, for which we have a special trio arrangement. I also love ‘Conception’ by George Shearing.” With one foot firmly planted in the music’s vast history, and the other striding boldly into the future, Kelly Green is keeping ahead of the beat, with no ceiling on her potential. Her success further illustrates the level of talent Northeast Florida has been producing, for years now, with much more to come. Shelton Hull mail@folioweekly.com _____________________________ Find out more about Kelly Green's music onlilne at kellygreenpiano.com.

DECEMBER 20-26, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25

FOLIO OA A+E E : MAGIC LAN LANTERNS

MISTAKES &

MAYHEM Two utterly opposite horror flicks MEEKLY TWEAK their own tropes

26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 20-26, 2017

eta-fiction is a highbrow literary term to define the kind of literature that’s self-reflexive about the whole process of narrative and fiction, like Luigi Pirandello’s Six Characters in Search of an Author. The technique is well-known in films, too, even that “low brow” favorite—the horror genre. Two recent independent films are worthy of reflection in this self-aware genre: YellowBrickRoad (2010) and The Final Girls (’15). Both are extraordinary in quite different ways, a difficult accomplishment for a horror film. Written and directed by Jess Holland and Andy Mitton, YellowBrickRoad has an intriguing premise. In 1940, every single person in Friar, a rural New Hampshire town, walked into the wilderness, leaving everything behind. A few were found, frozen to death, others gruesomely butchered, but the majority were never located. Decades later, a research team tries to solve the mystery. Big mistake, natch. Teddy Barnes and wife Melissa (Michael Laurino, Anessa Ramsey) start an investigation with their friend, psychologist Walter Myrick (Alex Draper). Five more recruits, each in a specific area of expertise, round out the team. After getting previously withheld information and background on the fatal exodus, Teddy is told by a mysterious official to “Enjoy your picture show.” Unable to find the starting point of the townspeople’s trail to nowhere, he learns from a local theater employee that the path’s entry is marked by a boulder inscribed YellowBrickRoad. Curiously, the projection room in the same theater had an exhausted print of The Wizard of Oz. Shortly into the woodland odyssey, things get weird. Compasses go haywire, GPS settings indicate the travellers are at random places around the globe. Most maddeningly, ’40s Big Band music begins to alternate between odd humming and blaring throughout the woods. Hopelessly lost, the researchers begin to entertain dangerous fantasies that soon escalate into the real thing. The plot is obviously inspired, at least in part, by The Blair Witch Project, but YellowBrickRoad wisely abandons the technique of found-footage, enabling a far wider range of narrative possibilities. And no one leaves the multiplex thinking, “It could happen.” Concluding with a nod to Kubrick’s The Shining and an atypical movie-within-amovie, YellowBrickRoad offers no rational explanations for its mind trip. A brief summary in Variety, one of the few national reviews to even notice the film, absolutely nails its appeal: “Underwhelming finish explains zilch, but good performances, atmospherics and use of backwoods locations make YellowBrickRoad an intriguing cipher.” In a radically divergent vein, The Final Girls (2015) wreaks comic mayhem with the tropes of the horror genre without resorting to broad

parody, like the Scary Movie franchise. When a fire breaks out at a special anniversary showing of the ’80s classic Camp Bloodbath (a thinly disguised Friday the 13th), five teen friends slash their way through the screen to escape … only to find themselves trapped in the movie itself, with all the usual horror gimmicks. They quickly cross paths with the film’s goofy, horny camp counselors, knowing that all of them—except “the final girl,” the only virgin in the group—are doomed to die at the hands of Billy Murphy (Daniel Norris), a machete-wielding hulk who haunts the woods. Now part of the action, the kids must convince their movie counterparts what to do if they hope to survive Billy and the horror plot. That definitely means no stripping and no sex, the least suggestion of which triggers the ominous music warning them the killer’s coming, as in Friday the 13th, Halloween and just about every horror movie since the ’70s. Things are even more complicated since Max (Taissa Farmiga) is the only virgin of the five filmgoers; her dead real-life mother Amanda (Malin Akerman) plays Nancy in the movie, the good girl who loses her virginity to the dumb horny jock. Thus Max is forced to best friends with the actress who’ll become her real-life mother, if they can both survive (of course they must; otherwise, Max wouldn’t exist, right?). Remember, kids, there can be only one “final girl.” The writers—M.A. Fortin, Joshua John Miller—and director Todd Strauss-Schulson deserve props for the movie’s comic energy and imagination. Struggling for their very lives, the teen moviegoers trapped in the-movie-withinthe-movie cope with flashbacks, slo-mo and the ever-present offscreen musical cues, like theme music. And just like Jason Voorhees, monstrous Billy Murphy keeps movin’ and machete-ing. One’s haunting, one’s funny—but YellowBrickRoad and The Final Girls both credibly tweak their genre. Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com

NOW SHOWING ELF This sweet but wacky comedy stars Will Ferrell, James Caan, Bob Newhart, Ed Asner, Mary Steenburgen, Zooey Deschanel, Peter Dinklage—and a narwahl!—screening 6 p.m. Dec. 22 at Mayport Beacon Theater, 245 Baltimore St., MWR Naval Station Mayport, free admission, 270-5145, navymwrmayport.com. SUN-RAY CINEMA Star Wars: The Last Jedi and The Disaster Artist screen. Downsizing starts Dec. 22. Christmas Vacation runs Dec. 20. 1028 Park St., 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ Only the Brave and The Florida Project screen. Throwback Thursday runs It’s a Wonderful Life, noon Dec. 21 and 4 p.m. Dec. 24. The Square and Killing of a Sacred Deer start Dec. 22. 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 697-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com. IMAX THEATER Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Amazing Mighty Micro Monsters and Amazon Adventure screen. St. Augustine, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com.

ARTS + EVENTS PERFORMANCE

JOSEPH & THE AMAZING TECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT A tale of wardrobe magic and family tricks. 8 p.m. Dec. 20-22; 2 & 8 p.m. Dec. 23 at Players by The Sea, 106 N. Sixth St., Jax Beach, $25-$28, 249-0289, playerbythesea.org. CHRISTMAS CAROL Bruce Allen Scudder’s holiday show adds humor and music to the bleak tale of Ebenezer Scrooge. And Tod Booth is Scrooge! 7:50 p.m. Dec. 2024, 1:15 p.m. Dec. 20 & 23; 1:50 p.m. Dec. 20 & 24 at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $49.95-$57, 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. THE ULTIMATE CHRISTMAS SHOW The Annual Holiday Variety Show & Christmas Pageant at St. Everybody’s NonDenominational Universalist Church is here! A heartwarming tale staged 8 p.m. Dec. 22 & 23 at 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach; 249-7177, abettheatre.com. IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE: A LIVE RADIO PLAY Apex Theatre presents the American holiday classic as a 1940s radio broadcast. Suicidal George Bailey see what life would’ve been like had he never been born, 7:30 p.m. Dec. 21-23; 1:30 p.m. Dec. 23 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A, $25, pontevedraconcerthall.com. A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS LIVE! Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Lucy, Linus and the rest of the Peanuts gang ponder the meaning of life, humanity’s role in the universe and the endurance of pagan traditions. They also save a forlorn little tree. 7 p.m. Dec. 22, The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., $25-$49.50, floridatheatre.com. A CHRISTMAS CAROL Crippled children, browbeaten employees, ghosts and man with a heart of coal and fists full of dollars … is this a recap of 2017? Oh, no, it’s the holiday life-lesson where ghosts and geese save the day. 7:30 p.m. Dec. 21 at T-U Center’s Moran Theater, 300 Water St., Downtown, $16-$54, fscjartistseries.org. THE ALIEN WHO STOLE CHRISTMAS Jolly ol’ Santa is joined by an alien, Mr. Freep, and they explore the solar system. 11 a.m. Dec. 23 at Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Cir., Southbank, themosh.org. MOSCOW BALLET’S GREAT RUSSIAN NUTCRACKER The holiday classic is presented by one of the world’s most beautiful and rigorous ballet troupes. The New York Times calls the production a “knock out” … sigh … just imagine how glorious all those sugar plum fairies will look in Russian-styled tutus. 7 p.m. Dec. 27 at Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, floridatheatre.com, $31.50-$178.50.

CLASSICAL + JAZZ

THE TEN TENORS During the holidays, more is always merrier. This decuplet performs holiday favorites, 8 p.m. Dec. 20 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, $35-$65, 355-2787, floridatheatre.com.

HOW THE BIG BAND STOLE CHRISTMAS! More than 21 musicians, dancers and actors of Crescendo Amelia perform, including Marah Lovequist, Reed Meyer, LoriAnn Mooney and Jennifer Burns, 7:30 p.m. Dec. 20 & 21 at Fernandina Beach Theatre, $10-$49 + fee, crescendoamelia.com. Proceeds benefit Fernandina Beach Middle School. LES DEMERLE TRIO The big band leader guides a tight group of jazz-heads to make the season merry and bright! 6-9 p.m. Dec. 22-29 & 31, Horizons Restaurant, 5472 First Coast Hwy., Fernandina, $15, horizonsameliaisland.com. IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE See Frank Capra’s and Jimmy Stewart’s favorite film as its score is played live by Jacksonville Symphony, 7 p.m. Dec. 22 at Jacoby Symphony Hall, $26-$82, jaxsymphony.org. NYE ORCHESTRAL LUNACY Internationally acclaimed performer Tomáš Kubínek shows hilarity and charm in a work of grand music, madcap brilliance and old-world panache, at the year-ending (and year-beginning) show with the Jacksonville Symphony, 9 p.m. Dec. 31 at Jacoby Symphony Hall, $30-$100 (does not include afterparty), jaxsymphony.org. MATTHEW HALL The pianist performs every Thur., Fri. & Sat. at Corner Bistro/Glass Hat Piano Bar & Grill, 9823 Tapestry Park Cir., Southside, 619-1931.

COMEDY

GABRIEL IGLESIAS The comic stars in Fluffy’s Food Adventures a non-scripted series with Martin Moreno and Rick Gutierrez. In each episode, Iglesias tells of culinary travels, adding calories, burning ’em off to break even, Florida Theatre, $38.50, floridatheatre.com. SUNSHINE ANDERSON, NICK LEWIS R&B singer Anderson and comic Lewis headline with Vince Taylor, Niche Caldwell and Antwan Murphy, 7:30 p.m. Dec. 22, $20-$50. Lewis returns with friends to screen his short film Slanging Birds, 7:30 p.m. Dec. 23; $18-$45. DJ Bennie Blade’s in on Phatt Jax Tuesday, 6 p.m. Tue., check website for details. All at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-4277, jacksonvillecomedy.com. SPANKY BROWN The ubiquitous Mr. Brown is on 7:30 p.m. Dec. 20 & 21; 8:30 p.m. Dec. 22; 8 & 9:45 p.m. Dec. 23 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, $15-$18, 292-4242, comedyzone.com. According to the CZ calendar, Brown’s on most December nights; Russ Nagel shows up Dec. 28, 29 & 30. CORAZON CINEMA & CAFE Casey Crawford hosts Comedy Night, with four comics, 8 p.m. Dec. 22 and every second Fri., $5, 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com.

THE FLORIDA PROJECT

MEGHAN WELCH explores concepts and themes related to childhood in rural Florida, displayed at Jewish Community Alliance, 8505 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin; an opening reception is 6-8 p.m. Dec. 21.

DECEMBER 20-26, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27

FOLIO A+E : FILM

Got to PICK US UP just to say hello

HONEY, I … UH … SHRUNK

OUR LIVES I

28 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 20-26, 2017

for a better life. The before, during and after t’s a brilliant idea for a movie: Science scenes depicting the shrinking process are evolves and advances so far, people can fascinating, as they showcase Payne’s bold be shrunk to four inches tall with little imagination letting loose in a way that’s both risk of side effects. Humans who choose to be practical and creative. “downsized” leave their lives, friends and loved After Paul downsizes, though, the film ones behind to live in micro communities. falters. Once shrunken, Paul is a lost soul Everything is cheaper because they consume when things don’t go as expected. The and require less, which is good for the shrinking is irreversible, and he struggles environment but bad for the economy. to let loose and enjoy life. His bohemian A conceit such as this is ripe for social upstairs neighbor (Christoph Waltz) is able satire, and knowing the storytelling is in the hands of writer/director to help a little, but only the Alexander Payne (Sideways) Vietnamese dissident Ngoc DOWNSIZING is ample cause for excitement. Lan Tran (Hong Chau) really **GN In his films, Payne has a way gets through to him. Where Rated R of exposing ugly truths about the story goes, and how it gets humanity by finding, with the there, can best be described help of A-list casts, emotional as a lame disappointment, the clarity in his characters (About Schmidt, The ingenuity demonstrated in the first third of Descendants, Nebraska). the film evaporated. You can’t help but wonder, then, how It’s a pointless effort (except for Damon’s Payne and co-writer Jim Taylor let Downsizing winning smile and Neal Patrick Harris’, well, to go so awry. The movie is largely void of anything). Many things happen to Paul, but humor, depth or commentary. It’s incredibly Payne’s message, whatever it is, gets lost in frustrating, and sad, when filmmakers already all the meandering. Are we to make the most proved to be immensely talented make a film of our lives because we don’t know when below their own standards. it’ll end? Is the grass not always greener on Matt Damon stars as Paul, an occupational the other side? Is the only purpose in life to therapist at Omaha Steaks in Nebraska. He’s help others? Many ideas fly by, but none is married to Audrey (Kristen Wiig); their lives expanded upon in a compelling way. It’s as are listless. They can’t afford the new house she if Payne is taking from Darren Aronofsky’s desperately wants, and they feel trapped by the (“mother!”) bad habit approach to audiences endless cycle of paycheck-to-paycheck middleof “make of this what you will.” He should class modernity. Life’s hard, and it isn’t getting know better. any easier. If you’re strong enough to do it—and you An opportunity appears: Downsizing won’t be, but if—leave the theater after Paul is to .0634 percent of their current mass and completely shrunken. By that time, you’ll have volume will allow their $152,000 in net seen all the good in Downsizing. wealth to be worth $12.5 million as miniature Dan Hudak people, so getting small becomes a no-brainer mail@folioweekly.com

ARTS + EVENTS CALLS & WORKSHOPS

COMMUNITY FOUNDATION FOR NORTHEAST FLORIDA Grant opportunities are available for those serving young children, for individual professional artists to elevate their work and organizations serving at-risk and underserved populations at or near the Jacksonville-area Beaches, applications due Jan. 10-March 5, depending on grant, jaxcf.org. JURIED ARTIST MEMBERS EXHIBITION 2018 The Cultural Center at Ponte Vedra Beach is accepting entries for JAME to its artist members Jan. 22; works judged and notifications made Jan. 23. 50 Executive Way, 280-0614, ccpvb.org. SANTA FE COLLEGE The college seeks artists for its annual springtime arts celebration; $25 to apply, Dec. 31 deadline; raul.villarreal@sfcollege.edu, zapplication.org. JACKSONVILLE MINI-MAKER FAIRE Groups or individuals may present projects, hobbies, experiments for the MOSH-sponsored event. Deadline Feb. 28, jacksonvillemakerfaire.com.

ART WALKS + MARKETS

NORTH BEACHES TOWN CENTER ART WALK More than 20 locations in Atlantic and Neptune beaches are open 5-9 p.m. Dec. 21 and every third Thur. around Atlantic Boulevard and First Street, and Ocean Boulevard and Seventh Street. Artists display their works, there’s live music, and many venues offer refreshment. Photographer Jack Zievis exhibits his Engaging Images. A reception is 5-8 p.m. Dec. 21 at Adele Grage, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-5828, free. 753-9594, nbaw.org. RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Music by Courtnie Frazier, Blue Muse and Donna Frost, plus food, artists, and a farmer’s row, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Dec. 23 under the Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com ST. AUGUSTINE AMPHITHEATRE FARMERS MARKET Veggies, flowers, baked goods, handmade arts & crafts, a community booth, live music by the Free Rangers and more, 8:30 a.m.12:30 p.m. Sat., 1340C A1A S., staugamphitheatre.com. Admission, parking free. FERNANDINA BEACH FARMERS MARKET Every Sat., 9 a.m.1 p.m., year round, rain or shine. North Seventh Street, Fernandina, fernandinamarketplace.com.

MUSEUMS

CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 29 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummermuseum.org. A Collector’s Eye: Celebrating Joseph Jeffers Dodge, and Mediterranea: American Art from the Graham D. Williford Collection, through Feb. 4. Bijoux Parisiens: French Jewelry from the Petit Palais, through Jan. 7. KARPELES MANUSCRIPT LIBRARY MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield. Artist Drew Edward Hunter presents Drewlusions through December. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911, mocajacksonville.unf.edu. Juan Fontanive Lopez’s Movement 4 is the atrium project. Margaret Ross Tolbert: Lost Springs exhibits through December. Call & Response, through April 1. MANDARIN MUSEUM & HISTORICAL SOCIETY 11964 Mandarin Rd., mandarinmuseum.net. Civil War era artifacts recovered from the Union steamship Maple Leaf, items related to Harriet Beecher Stowe, a World War I exhibit, and displays related to the only remaining one-room schoolhouse in Duval County. MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY 1025 Museum Cir., Southbank, 396-MOSH, themosh.org. Ancient Rome: Epic Innovators & Engineers! shows artifacts and ancient technology reconstructed with designs of the Roman Empire; through December. African Americans in WWII runs through December. THE RITZ THEATRE & MUSEUM 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 807-2010. Making Do: The African & Gullah GeeChee Connection exhibits through Jan. 12.

GALLERIES

JEWISH COMMUNITY ALLIANCE 8505 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 730-2100, jcajax.com. New figurative works by artist Meghan Welch explore concepts and themes related to childhood in rural Florida. An opening reception is 6-8 p.m. Dec. 21. On view until Jan. 3. THE ART CENTER In Jacksonville Landing, tacjacksonville.org. A closing reception for Michael Cenci’s show of photographs and woodwork is 4 p.m. Dec. 23. ADELE GRAGE CULTURAL CENTER 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach. The Art of Investing Part Trois-Blanton Twins Art Show displays through December. BREW 5 POINTS 1024 Park St., Riverside, chipsouthworth. com. Hack in the USA- R new work by Chip Southworth, through Jan. 1. THE CULTURAL CENTER AT PONTE VEDRA BEACH 50 Executive Way, 280-0614, ccpvb.org. Memories in the Making, works by artists with dementia, is on display through Jan. 17. The center hosts a pop-up artisans market

OVERSET

through Jan. 12, featuring works by (among others) Amy Dove, Susan Daly, Francesca Tabor-Miolla, Tim Bullard, Bill & Jon Slade, Johan Mejia, Karen Bullard, Claire Kendrick, Cristina Zandomenego and (one of our favorite local ceramicists) Kyiaki Karalos. HASKELL GALLEY Jacksonville International Airport. Cafcules, Middleton & Walburn shows through January. MONYA ROWE GALLERY 4 Rohde Ave., St. Augustine, 217-0637, monyarowegallery.com. Mount of Venus, by Elise Ferguson and Caris Reid, runs through Dec. 22. RAIN DOGS 1045 Park St., Riverside. Funny, It’s Not Funny, new works by Tony Rodrigues, is up through January. ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., 824-2310, staaa.org. Fantastic Florida, Selections from the STAAA Permanent Collection and Emmett Fritz: A Centennial Collection, display through December. SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 1 Independent Dr., Wells Fargo Building, Downtown. December’s guest artist is Stephanie Cafcules. SPACE 42 2670 Phyllis St., Riverside, 888-421-9222, spacefortytwo.com. Dream/Sueño/Rêve, installation by John Carr and Estée Ochoa, through January; UNF Student Ceramics Show on display through January. THE VAULT at 1904 1930 San Marco Ave., 398-2890, thevaultat1930.com. Art from Around the World, new works by Susan Astleford, is on display. WOLF & CUB 205 N. Laura St., Downtown, wolfandcubjax. com. For the Love of Munny, an exhibit of vinyl toys named “Munny,” is on display. Each collectable toy is designed, painted, destructed and created by Jax-based artists, through January.

EVENTS

ENCHANTED CHRISTMAS VILLAGE The family-friendly event includes Santa’s Workshop, a letter-writing station, hayrides, carousel rides, food, shopping, photo ops and more than one million lights. 5-10 p.m. Dec. 21, 22 & 23; $10-$45, 899 Palm Valley Rd., Ponte Vedra, jacksonvillechristmas.com. Proceeds benefit the Bairfind Foundation. SEASON OF LIGHT The Bryan-Gooding Planetarium’s show traces the development of many of the world’s endearing, familiar holiday customs, and how they involve lighting up the winter season. 1 p.m. through Dec. 23, $2.50-$5, Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Cir., Southbank, themosh.org. WINTER DISCOVERY CAMPS Kindergartners through fifthgraders can discover wonders of science and the natural world; details at themosh.org. ANNUAL HOLIDAY TRAINS Reflect upon Freud as kids of all ages thrill to the charm and intricacy of model trains on display. Dates are Dec. 22 for the Polar Express; Dec. 29 for Military Trains, at MOSH, themosh.org. ZOOLIGHTS The Jacksonville Zoo is decked out for the holiday season with millions of twinkling lights! 6-9:30 p.m. through Jan. 6, $8-$15, jacksonvillezoo.org. GLASS STUDIO DEMONSTRATION Want a hands-on holiday experience? Take a make-your-own-ornament workshop, 1-3 p.m. Dec. 23, Burnt Glassworks, 5105 Philips Hwy., Ste. 201, Southside, 631-6596, $30-$35, burntglassworks.net. KWANZAA CELEBRATION The fourth annual Kwanzaa celebration is dedicated to the principle of Umoja: to strive for and maintain unity in the family, community, nation and race. There’s a drum circle—if you have one, bring it. In observance of tradition, bring a fruit or crops; 6 p.m. Dec. 26, The Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 807-2010, free. RUN SANTA RUN 5K, 1-MILE FUN RUN A Springfield-centric 5K run with a candy cane station, a hot chocolate station, a cookie station and a Hershey’s kiss station! Santa attire encouraged. 1-mile fun run ($20), 5:30 p.m.; 5K ($35), 6 p.m. Dec. 22, Klutho Park, 1stplacesports.com. SANTA CLAUS IN THE COURTYARD The merry ol’ elf exchanges the reindeer for a team of leaping dolphins as he touches down 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Dec. 23 at Beaches Town Center, 200 First St., Neptune Beach, for a quick pic and a last-minute chance to articulate your heart’s desire before he chooses a more practical option (new flip-flops). HOLIDAY DESSERT PARTY Join PFLAG for its annual holiday party; Justin Bell discusses the AIDS Quilt, 7 p.m. Dec. 21 at Christ Church of Peace, 1240 McDuff Ave. S., Riverside; bring a dessert to share, pflagjax.org. NIGHTS OF LIGHTS Millions of twinkling lights cover St. Augustine nightly through January. See Old Town by trolley, on foot or in a horse and carriage. floridahistoriccoast.com. _________________________________________ To list an event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price, contact number to print to Madeleine Peck Wagner; email madeleine@folioweekly. com or mail 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Items run as space is available. Deadline noon Wed. for next Wed. printing. DECEMBER 20-26, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 29

FOLIO A+E : ARTS

Two 5 Points shows peek into CONTEMPORARY CONVERSATIONS held in national/ international art circles

HACKED, BECAUSE IT’S FUNNY

30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 20-26, 2017

ony Rodrigues’ funny it’s not funny -\_( )_/- is a pointed look at contemporary painting that bleeds into political commentary by way of proximity and wit, now on view at Rain Dogs. Rodrigues’ paintings bear an ideological and aesthetic kinship with Georg Baselitz and Martin Kippenberger, but they also reflect the AT TOP: Tony Rodrigues’ “Hypochondria artist’s interest in absurdity and subversion (You’ll Miss me when I am Gone)”; ABOVE: through the appropriation of the language Chip Southworth’s “Trumped” and techniques of painting. These ideas—like “painterly paint” and “muddy palette”—are fused to cartoonish imagery, including a Sylvester the A suite of six text-based paintings is cat experiencing an existential meltdown. mounted across the longest wall in the space. There’s also a seeming disregard for ideas With these works, Southworth doesn’t break of composition and a hierarchy of visual any new ideological or political ground—in importance, especially in the smaller pieces, fact, they might be more closely read as a mea where the artist seems to be pushing the culpa on the part of the artist (he is white, boundaries of banality and disintegration male and American)—a stance from which within the confines of a rectangular picture he calls out his own privilege. However, the plane. Hypochondria (You’ll Miss Me When I arranged words (perhaps) are meant to mirror am Gone), resonates with humor and disquiet: the reaction of a nation that finds itself in a skeletal Bugs Bunny rests upon the ground the landscape of revocalized racist grandpas with legs akimbo. It is somehow lewd and and ravenous despoilers of equity and hope; pathetic: an apt metaphor for these times the words/paintings seem to follow a theme: artists are trying to parse and comment upon. Stolen, Trumped, Hacked, Wake, Woke, Fucked. The result is a show that teeters on the edge In considering language-based works that of a kind of ugly wackiness steeped in insider tackle themes of inequity and systemic racism, art historical jokes and a 1980s ethos informed it’s informative to look to the works of Dread (at least a little bit) by David Wojnarowicz. Scott, Carrie Mae Weems and Hank Willis These works also bring to mind the question Thomas. Weems’ series, Barry Schwabsky posed “object or project?” in FUNNY IT’S NOT FUNNY -\_( )_/- From Here I Saw What Rain Dogs, 1046 Park St., through December Happened and I Cried an essay that tackled the (1995-’96) took historical ontology of painting. But HACKED IN THE USA-R Brew 5 Points, 1024 Park St., photographs of Africans there are enough points chipsouthworth.com, through December and African Americans of access to pull the show sourced from university back at the just right and museum archives and added text to the moment to a lighthearted (if fraught) wink not images in a strategy to return humanity and just to painting, but to those who traffic in the dignity to the subjects. Scott’s flag-work, A language around it. Perhaps that moment is Man Was Lynched by Police Yesterday (2015) the one just before ol’ Sylvester shoves a sixth was created in response to the 2015 murder cigarette into his maw. of Walter Scott, shot in the back by a police Chip Southworth’s Hacked in the USA-R at Brew 5 Points is a continuation of his recent officer. And Thomas’ I Am a Man, (’09) 20 text-based paintings. The 3-foot-by-3-foot small text paintings based on photographs by Ernest Withers of the 1968 Memphis pieces on board make declarative statements Sanitation Workers’ Strike, when workers wore about race, politics and police brutality. In so placards to reinforce their humanity to the doing, Southworth treads the line between white population. meme/poster and art, constructing of-theThomas, with Glenn Kaino and Favianna moment sloganeer’d statements. Rodriguez, is curating a huge group show Painted in juicy pop colors of pinks, blues in Los Angeles, Into Action, to mark the and reds, they’re linked to street art (Baron one-year anniversary of the Women’s March Von Fancy in particular leaps to mind) with a on Washington. He’s invited Southworth patriotic-by-way-of-Hamilton tone. In these to participate. It opens Jan. 13 in an as-yetworks, it’s clear Southworth is concerned with undetermined space. drawing distinct lines of demarcation—a “woke” Madeleine Peck Wagner (his word) stance as illustrated by paintings that madeleine@folioweekly.com glibly call out specific American problems.

FOLIO A+E : MUSIC

he last two weeks of the year may not have much in the way of touring acts for Northeast Florida music fans. But that’s actually a good thing—it allows us the rare chance to enjoy local heroes in intimate, celebratory year-end sets. Take soul-infused hip-hop duo Stono Echo’s Dec. 23 performance at Nighthawks. Jay Myztroh and Paten Locke are celebrating the vinyl release of their stunning new full-length Black Diamonds, with a buildyour-own vegan feast courtesy of Full Plate Fam and jerk chicken from local promoter Ian Ranne to boot. Does free sound good, too? “It’s for the fanbase,” Myztroh tells Folio Weekly. “It’s for the people who’s supported Stono Echo’s sound, message, vibe and energy. We’ve felt a lot of love from the people here in Jacksonville, so we wanted to put Black Diamonds on showcase and bring a community energy into it with the food as well.” Myztroh, well-known in NEFla for his live band Elevated Hip-Hop Experience teamed with Locke and Full Plate Fam founder Dillon on 2016’s excellent Food Chain. But after Myztroh laid down the instrumental tracks, he hinted to Locke that he was an accomplished vocalist who’d been honing his chops in private. “Black Diamonds is a synthesis of all the skills I’ve been refining for the last 15 years,” Myztroh says. “For the first time, I’ve found exactly what my voice is— exactly what I wanted to scream to the world. It’s a representation of exactly where I am right now, how I feel about my art form, and how I feel about society.” Black Diamonds connects the personal and the political in a dazzling, often devastating way. Myztroh’s yearning lyrics dissect the dissipation of a relationship on “Holdin’,” while “Workin’” celebrates the joy of doing what you truly love. On the flip side, the hard-hitting trio of “Politrickin’,” “SoapBox” and “Yesterday (Another Day)” address a litany of societal ills: police brutality, our skewed justice system and the electoral upheaval wrenching the nation. Which lends itself to the surprising

THE MOST IMPORTANT

WORK

OF THEIR

LIVES STONO ECHO (PATEN LOCKE, JAY MYZTROH)

Black Diamonds Vinyl Release Party, 8 p.m. Dec. 23, Nighthawks, Riverside, free, 619-9978

sentiment that Locke delivers: “This Stono Echo album might be the most important thing I’ve ever done.” “I grew up politically informed—very hands on,” Locke says. “But in my own music, I’ve only spoken on certain things. So to hear these ideas fleshed out in song with Jay’s lyrics … he’s speaking on things I’ve always felt but maybe never expressed as plainly. The sentiments we’ve touched on with this record have always driven me as a person. I’m very happy that Jay is saying the things he’s saying—and saying them now. It’s powerful music. There’s something very important about this record.” Myztroh seconds that—and says that the reciprocal relationship in Stono Echo, with Locke laying down beats, has empowered him like never before. “The fact that Black Diamonds is resonating on a deeper level is the most interesting thing,” he says. “It’s really about me finally being personal. Saying what’s

all the way inside and not running from the way my voice sounds. As a musician on the bar scene, I emulated Stevie Wonder, Otis Redding, Prince and Marvin Gaye. And like those artists, I had to just be completely and brutally honest with myself. That seemed to be the trick: Be truthful, no matter what that turned into. You gotta let the music be a mirror for yourself.” Such sincerity follows only when two artists feel genuinely comfortable with each other. Locke says he feels a real kinship with Myztroh, one that transcends collaborator status and carries into the realm of friendship and fandom. “Things have always been very natural between us,” Locke says. “Whenever we speak, we see the same things. Everything about Stono Echo, every discussion we have, we find we’re entirely on the same page. That leaves us room to appreciate each other’s expression.” And that expression culminates in the vinyl release of Black Diamonds, something Myztroh describes as a dream he’s had since he was a 5-year-old kid putting the needle down on the colorful platters of his first Fisher-Price record player. “I’ll be proud of this for the remainder of time here,” he says with pride. “The fact that it’s this project, where I finally did find my voice, is just the cherry on top.” Even though the focus is on the new release for the moment, Myztroh says he and Locke have plenty of new material on deck for 2018. Ever the studio genius, Myztroh says he still has to remaster some tracks, laying down background vocals here, inserting new saxophone solos there, and adding a few fresh verses on certain tracks. “We’re constantly working,” Locke laughs. “We could put out a couple records right now, and there will soon be even more new stuff. There’s gonna be more music coming in 2018. But right now, we’re gonna appreciate Black Diamonds and all the hard work that went into it. We’re proud of this one—and very happy to mark its release publicly with the people who’ve been supporting us all along.” Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly.com

Jay Myztroh and Paten Locke BIG UP their debut Stono Echo full-length, Black Diamonds

DECEMBER 20-26, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 31

FOLIO A+E : ARTS Tabi P quickly gains fluency in the LANGUAGE OF MUSIC

ROOKIE

OF THE YEAR T

32 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 20-26, 2017

he freshmen of 2017 made an impression in the local music territory that won’t soon be forgotten, not if they have anything to say about it. Leading the way has been singer/songwriter Tabi P, born Tabetha Pecina in Toledo, Ohio on the 4th of July, 1992. Independence has been a recurring theme in her life and career from Day One, and that fierceness of spirit is reflected in her music. “My music touches on sensitive topics that relate to unstable or blunt emotions,” she writes in an email. “We have classified it as pop rock because, while they’re easy to dance to and relate to the pop genre, our electric guitars are dominant in each of our songs.” She moved to Jacksonville at age 10, coming and going several times in the subsequent 15 years. She started playing the piano when she was 12, but while she’s dabbled in singing from childhood, she’s been doing so professionally for only the past year—and what a rookie year she’s had. It all began with the single “Memories” by Classick, which she counts as her formal introduction to the scene. In 2017, she performed at a number of local spots including Rain Dogs, Nighthawks, Jack Rabbits, 1904 Music Hall, Edward Waters College, GoJo’s Coffee House and Hoptinger, in addition to gigs in Miami and Tallahassee. She appeared on The Grizzly Vets’ single “The Summer Ain’t Over,” which also featured Mal Jones, Jason Plus One and Higher Learning. “DJ Shotgun has been a brother from the beginning,” she says, “and you can definitely be on the lookout for future collabs.” She also landed a prime spot, opening for Kitty [Pryde] back in October, as well as being part of the epic “Queens of the Night” collective. Her first single, “Crazy,” made a strong impression on local audiences, with a hilarious video (shot in San Marco in just one day) depicting Tabi as a bridesmaid, going nuts on a would-be competitor for the affections of her man. “‘Crazy’ touches on the subject of jealousy,” she says. “So many people deal with jealousy on an everyday basis and in this song, the girl

goes crazy just at the sight of any other girl approaching her guy. It’s been nicknamed ‘The Girlfriend Song’.” The other guitarist in her group is Antionio “AyeVii” Zimmerman, also a veteran of the local scene, and the two musicians have quickly achieved a sort of telepathic rapport with each other, onstage and off. “We have known each other for almost two-and-a-half years,” she writes, “and it’s been a #RockstarLyfeStyle journey lol, but our love for our music and community has us on this mission to grow a musical empire and introduce the world to the language of music.” It’s a language in which she has fluency, fusing influence and crossing genres with ease. “The highlight in my music career so far was me releasing ‘Crazy’ at our Roof Top Party in June,” she says. “It was a dream come true and it motivated me to keep going higher and higher.” Another key source of motivation is her son, Aaron, who just turned three. “He gave me courage to do things I thought were impossible of me, like sing professionally, go back to school, leave an abusive relationship, and find out who I was and what I wanted out of life. He is my angel.” Ever the forward-thinker, she’s actively planning his future, having already started his college fund, even though he doesn’t yet know what college is. The weeks and months ahead are looking to be a time of explosive personal and professional growth. “We have a vault full of songs ready to be recorded,” she says, 10 of which will be featured on her debut EP, Heart On My Sleeve, which is slated for release on her 26th birthday in 2018. Before all that, though, she’s planning a New Year’s Eve blowout party (at an asyet undisclosed location), and a Once in a Lifetime Fairy Tale Ball in February; the details for both can be had by hitting her up on social media, where so much work gets done these days. It’s been a busy year for Tabi P, but she’s just getting started. Shelton Hull mail@folioweekly.com

If you need a little fun time spent with the friends you wish were family, head to Cheers Park Avenue and watch DJ CAPONE spin the most danceable tunes! 9 p.m. Wed., Dec. 20, Orange Park, free.

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK

DJ CAPONE 9 p.m. Dec. 20, Cheers Park Avenue, 1138 Park Ave., Orange Park, 269-4855. ROSEDALE, PARKRIDGE, BRICKS GRENADE, CITY IN THE CLOUDS 8 p.m. Dec. 20, Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $8. TRADED YOUTH, RIP JUNIOR, DISCORDANT GENERATION, BLURG, COSMIC HIGHWAY 7 p.m. Dec. 20, 1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St., Downtown, 1904musichall.com, $8. LEELYNN OSBORNE, COOKIN’ IN DA KITCHEN 6 p.m. Dec. 20, Prohibition Kitchen, 119 St. George St., St. Augustine, 209-5704. Christmas Show: CAROL BRISTOW-ZUR 8 p.m. Dec. 20, Whiskey Jax Southside, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 135, 634-7208. TO SATCHMO WITH LOVE, SAILOR JANE & THE HURRICANES 6 p.m. Dec. 21, Prohibition Kitchen. SOUTH of SAVANNAH 9:30 p.m. Dec. 21, Cheers Park Avenue. LUKE PEACOCK, OTHER PEOPLE’S SONGS 8 p.m. Dec. 21, Mudville Music Room, 3105 Beach Blvd., St. Nicholas, 352-7008, $10. BILLY BUCHANAN 8 p.m. Dec. 21, Whiskey Jax, 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy., Jax Beach, 853-5973. The LITTLE BOOKS, MERCY MERCY 8 p.m. Dec. 21, Jack Rabbits, $5. IVAN PULLEY, BUDDY CRUMP 9:30 p.m. Dec. 22, Cheers Park Avenue. Larry’s B Day: THE PARTY CARTEL 9 p.m. Dec. 22, Whiskey Jax Southside. Ugly Christmas Sweater Party: UNIVERSAL GREEN, TOP SHELF PEOPLE 9 p.m. Dec. 22, 1904 Music Hall, $10. BE EASY TRIO, LET’S RIDE JAZZ 6 p.m. Dec. 22, Prohibition Kitchen. MEDAL MILITIA, YEAR ZERO, ELITE 8 p.m. Dec. 22, Jack Rabbits, $10. YOWSAH 8:30 p.m. Dec. 22, Whiskey Jax, Jax Beach. SOULSHINE & the SWAT TEAM 10 p.m. Dec. 22 & 23, Flying Iguana, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680. THE DOG APOLLO, RIP JUNIOR, PUBLIC 8 p.m. Dec. 23, Jack Rabbits, $10. CATCH THE GROOVE 8:30 p.m. Dec. 23, Whiskey Jax, Jax Beach. Professor Whiskey Productions: TITS, TASSELS & TENSIL 9 p.m. Dec. 23, 1904 Music Hall, $12-$20. GEORGE ASPINALL BAND 8:30 p.m. Dec. 23, Whiskey Jax Southside. ASLYN & THE NAYSAYERS, SWING THEORY 6 p.m. Dec. 23, Prohibition Kitchen. CORBITT BROTHERS 10 p.m. Dec. 23, Cheers Park Avenue. RAMONA 10 p.m. Dec. 24, Prohibition Kitchen. 10th Annual JAXMAS: RICKOLUS, DJ CHRIS G. 8 p.m. Dec. 25, Jack Rabbits, $5. ASLYN & THE NAYSAYERS, ALLEY KATZ 6 p.m. Dec. 26, Prohibition Kitchen. A1NUSIC904 8 p.m. Dec. 26, Jack Rabbits, $8. LEELYN OSBORNE, COOKIN’ IN DA KITCHEN 6 p.m. Dec. 27, Prohibition Kitchen. JULIA GULIA Dec. 27, Cheers Park Avenue. KICKING NAMES BAND Dec. 27, Whiskey Jax, Jax Beach.

BLURG/GILT 7 p.m. Dec. 27, Jack Rabbits, $8. THE FIREWATER TENT REVIVAL 9 p.m. Dec. 28, Cheers Park Avenue. PVRK 8 p.m. Dec. 28, 1904 Music Hall, $10. HINESITE 8 p.m. Dec. 28, Whiskey Jax, Jax Beach. DANIELLE EVA JAZZ DUO, LIVE HART 6 p.m. Dec. 28, Prohibition Kitchen.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

JERROD ALLEN, HERE COMES the HERO, KELLY WHITE Dec. 29, Jack Rabbits BRYAN HAYES Dec. 29, Breezy Jazz Club DONNA the BUFFALO Dec. 29, PVC Hall MIKE SHACKELFORD BAND Dec. 29, Mudville Music Room AERIAL TRIBE REUNION Dec. 29, Surfer the Bar COLTON McKENNA, NEW ROCK SOUL Dec. 29, Prohibition Kitchen HARD 2 HANDLE Dec. 29, Whiskey Jax Southside CASSIDY LEE Dec. 29, Cheers Park Avenue CALL ME BRONCO, MUDTOWN, BLURG Dec. 29, Rain Dogs ROGER THAT Dec. 29, Cheers Park Avenue HEATHER GILLIS Dec. 29, Mojo Kitchen THE SPILL CANVAS Dec. 29, 1904 Music Hall FLAGSHIP ROMANCE, EX-HUSBAND Dec. 30, Jack Rabbits GANG of SIX Dec. 30, Mudville Music Room WES COBB, GROOVE COALITION Dec. 30, Prohibition Kitchen J CREW BAND Dec. 30 & 31, Flying Iguana PROBABLE CAUSE Dec. 30, Whiskey Jax Southside THE NTH POWER, NYE LOVE TRAIN, SNARKY PUPPY, TREY ANASTASIO BAND HORNS, PARKER URBAN, BEDSIDE, RECESS, VLAD the INHALER, BOOTY BOO, BIG BUCK$ CREW Dec. 31, 1904 Music Hall New Year’s Eve Bash: LOVE MONKEY Dec. 31, Cheers Park Avenue NYE with NORTH of 40 Dec. 31, Whiskey Jax Southside MJ BAKER, CHILLULA Dec. 31, Prohibition Kitchen SOUTHERN RUCKUS Dec. 31, Boondocks Grill & Bar NYE with THE BOOGIE FREAKS Dec. 31, Whiskey Jax, Jax Beach HENRY ROLLINS Jan. 1, PVC Hall ILL-ESHA Jan. 1, 1904 Music hall HELLZAPOPPIN CIRCUS SIDESHOW Jan. 2, 1904 Music Hall BETTYE LaVETTE Jan. 4, PVC Hall SOME KIND of NIGHTMARE Jan. 4, ShantyTown Pub AFTERFUNK, NIG LOGIC & the Truth Serum, THE PINE BOX SWELLERS Jan. 5, 1904 Music Hall PETER BRADLEY ADAMS Jan. 5, Café Eleven WILD PONIES Jan. 6, Jack Rabbits LARRY MANGUM Jan. 6, Mudville Music Room New Years Throwdown: EVERGREEN TERRACE, BOYS NO GOOD, JUST LIKE GENTLEMEN, CLOUD 9 VIBES, MIZZY RAW, PERSONALITIES, YOUNG GHOSTS, HUNGOVER, INTERVENTION, PHANTOMS, PUZZLES TO PIECES, SUCK BRICK KID, BOYSIN, THATGUYTRESHUN, SPEECH PATTERNS, FAIR FIGHT, DROWNING ABOVE WATER, HIPPY BLAINE, SHE BLEEDS MERLOT, METAMAN Jan. 6, Mavericks Live BOCCHERINI, PUCCINI, NINO ROTA, WOLF Jan. 7, PVC Hall RIP JUNIOR, CUTTING TEETH, PSYCHO HILL, ADULT LIFE, R-DENT Jan. 7, 1904 Music Hall JACKSON BROWNE, GREG LEISZ Jan. 7, Florida Theatre

BAD IDOLS, SIN Jan. 9, Nighthawks STEVE POLTZ Jan. 10, Café Eleven NFFN ARTIST SHOWCASE Jan. 10, Mudville Music Room JACK WILLIAMS Jan. 11, Mudville Music Room The ZOMBIES: Odessey and Oracle 50th Anniversary Jan. 12, PVC Hall THE ORCHESTRA (ex-ELO members), JACKSONVILLE SYMPHONY ROCK ORCHESTRA Jan. 12, The Florida Theatre BLOOD BATH & BEYOND Jan. 12, Jack Rabbits ZACH DEPUTY, COME BACK ALICE Jan. 12, 1904 Music Hall SOCIAL REPOSE, SEPTEMBER MOURNING, NIGHT ARGENT Jan. 12, Jack Rabbits FRED EAGLESMITH Jan. 12, Café Eleven A TEMPTATIONS REVUE, BO HENDERSON Jan. 13, Ritz Theatre FLAW Jan. 13, 1904 Music Hall ANDY FRESCO & THE U.N. Jan. 14, 1904 Music Hall Bliss & the Boys: GAIL BLISS, PAUL KRAMER, RUSS WEVER, BRIAN TAYLOR, DAVE WEBB, RORY HOFFMAN, KENNY DUNCAN Jan. 15, Comedy Club of Jax IAN FITZGERALD Jan. 15, Jack Rabbits BOBBY AMARU Jan. 16, 1904 Music Hall JONNY LANG Jan. 16, Florida Theatre LEE SCRATCH PERRY Jan. 17, Jack Rabbits FINN MAGILL, ALAN MURRAY, OLD DAWGS NEW TRIXX Jan. 17, Mudville Music Room LARRY MANGUM, DAVID MALLETT Jan. 18, Mudville Music Room AFROMAN Jan. 18, Jack Rabbits DECADES REWIND Jan. 18, Thrasher-Horne Center DEAHPHISH ORCHESTRA Jan. 18, 1904 Music Hall MARY BRAGG Jan. 19, Mudville Music Room JASON FARNAM Jan. 19, Thrasher-Horne Center JAKE OWEN Jan. 19, The Florida Theatre CHICK COREA Jan. 19, First Baptist Church, Fernandina FADE TO BLACK Metallica Tribute Jan. 19, 1904 Music Hall THE TRAVELIN’ McCOURYS Jan. 20, PVC Hall IN THIS MOMENT, P.O.D., DED Jan. 20, Florida Theatre STEWART TUSSING BAND Jan. 20, Mudville Music Room BIG SOMETHING, BOBBY LEE RODGERS Jan. 20, Jack Rabbits THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS Jan. 24, PVC Hall JACOB JOHNSON Jan. 25, Mudville Music Room MARTY STUART & his FABULOUS SUPERLATIVES Jan. 25, PVC Hall DOROTHY Jan. 25, Jack Rabbits FELLY Jan. 25, 1904 Music Hall MASON JENNINGS Jan. 26, PVC Hall The STOMPDOWN Jan. 27, Florida Theatre BLACK VIOLIN Jan. 27, PVC Hall CES CRU, The PALMER SQUARE, GPO Jan. 27, Jack Rabbits YONDER MOUNTAIN STRING BAND Jan. 28, PVC Hall WORLD INFERNO FRIENDSHIP SOCIETY, COMMUNITY CENTER, TAIL LIGHT REBELLION, MUDTOWN Jan. 28, Nighthawks ROTTEN MANGOS, FERNWAY, BILLY & BELLA Jan. 28, 1904 Music Hall Take Me to the River: WILLIAM BELL, BOBBY RUSH, DON BRYANT Jan. 30, Florida Theatre GAELIC STORM Jan. 30, PVC Hall VELON THOMPSON Jan. 30, Mudville Music Room HAUNTED SUMMER Jan. 30, Jack Rabbits

DECEMBER 20-26, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 33

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC

34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 20-26, 2017

G3 2018: JOE SATRIANI, PHIL COLLEN, JOHN PETRUCCI Jan. 31, Florida Theatre ZOLOPHT Jan. 31, Jack Rabbits TANYA TUCKER Feb. 1, Florida Theatre HARRIS BROTHERS Feb. 1, Mudville Music Room JOHN 5 & the CREATURES, JACKIE STRANGER Feb. 2, 1904 Music Hall Anthems Tour: ADAM ANT Feb. 2, Florida Theatre JOHN 5 and THE CREATURES, JACKIE STRANGER Feb. 2, 1904 Music Hall MARY WILSON (The Supremes) Feb. 3, Ritz Theatre SPAFFORD Feb. 3, Jack Rabbits JOE MULLINS & the RADIO RAMBLERS Feb. 3, Mudville Music Room The VERVE PIPE Feb. 4, Café Eleven FEEDING FINGERS Feb. 4, Nighthawks JAKE SHIMABUKURO Feb. 6, PVC Hall DIANA KRALL Feb. 7, Florida Theatre TESSA VIOLET, SECRET MIDNIGHT PRESS, GIVE ME MOTION Feb. 7, Jack Rabbits Front Porch Series: JOHN McCUTCHEON, GRANT PEEPLES Feb. 8, PVC Hall CODY JINKS, WARD DAVIS, SUNNY SWEENEY Feb. 8, Florida Theatre L.A. GUNS, BUDDERSIDE Feb. 8, Jack Rabbits THE KENNEDYS Feb. 8, Mudville Music Room TESLA Feb. 9, Florida Theatre JOHN MORELAND Feb. 9, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DECLAN McKENNA Feb. 9, 1904 Music Hall ELLAMENO BEAT, OF GOOD NATURE Feb. 9, Jack Rabbits G LOVE & SPECIAL SAUCE Feb. 10, PVC Hall LITTLE RIVER BAND, PABLO CRUISE Feb. 10, Florida Theatre The LANGSTON HUGHES PROJECT Feb. 10, Ritz Theatre UNDER THE STREETLAMP Feb. 11, PVC Hall JASON EADY Feb. 11, Mudville Music Room SETH GLIER Feb. 11, Cafe Eleven BLUES TRAVELER Feb. 11, Florida Theatre LESS THAN JAKE, FOUR YEAR STRONG, DIRECT HIT, BEARINGS Feb. 12, Mavericks Live The HOT SARDINES Feb. 13, Florida Theatre PUDDLES PITY PARTY Feb. 15, PVC Hall QUEENS of the NIGHT Feb. 14, Nighthawks MISSISSIPPI JOHN JURT FOUNDATION BENEFIT Feb. 14, Mudville Music Room BOTTLE ROCKETS, CHUCK PROPHET & the MISSION EXPRESS Feb. 16, PVC Hall CHRIS YOUNG Feb. 16, St. Augustine Amphitheatre SIERRA HULL Feb. 17, PVC Hall DANIEL O’DONNELL Feb. 17, Florida Theatre BLUE! Feb. 17-21, Mudville Music Room WILLIE NELSON & FAMILY, LOS LONELY BOYS Feb. 18, St. Augustine Amphitheatre BARRY MANILOW Feb. 18, Times-Union Center GORDON LIGHTFOOT Feb. 18, Florida Theatre COLIN QUINN Feb. 18, PVC Hall ROOTS OF CREATION Feb. 19, Jack Rabbits GEORGE BENSON Feb. 19, Thrasher-Horne Center ERIC JOHNSON, TOMMY TAYLOR, LYLE BROCK, ARIELLE Feb. 20, PVC Hall ROBERT CRAY & HIS BAND Feb. 21, PVC Hall RODRIGUEZ Feb. 21, Florida Theatre SOUTHERN CULTURE ON THE SKIDS Feb. 22, St. Augustine Amphitheatre’s Front Porch DOYLE BRAMHALL II Feb. 22, PVC Hall MINDI ABAIR & the BONESHAKERS, AIR SUPPLY Feb. 23, Florida Theatre JAMIE DeFRATES, MIKE SHACKELFORD, LARRY MANGUM Feb. 23, Mudville Music Room GEORGE WINSTON Feb. 23, PVC Hall The Blackwater Sol Revue: JJ GREY & MOFRO, LOS LOBOS, NORTH MISSISSIPPI ALLSTARS, MARCUS KING BAND, more Feb. 24, St. Augustine Amphitheatre The EXPENDABLES, THROUGH the ROOTS, PACIFIC DUB Feb. 24, St. Augustine Amphitheatre’s Backyard Stage LITTLE JAKE & THE SOUL SEARCHERS Feb. 24, Mudville Music Room THE WEEPIES Feb. 24, PVC Hall UNKNOWN HINSON, JD WILKES Feb. 24, Jack Rabbits An Evening with MAVIS STAPLES Feb. 25, PVC Hall MICHAEL McDONALD Feb. 27, Florida Theatre An Evening with JORMA KAUKONEN Feb. 27, PVC Hall BLACKBERRY SMOKE March 1, Florida Theatre CAIN’T NEVER COULD, LARA HOPE & the ARKTONES March 1, Nighthawks NIGHT OF BEE GEES March 1, Thrasher-Horne Center RAGLAND March 1, Jack Rabbits DIXIE DREGS March 1, PVC Hall TOWER OF POWER March 2, PVC Hall PHILLIP PHILLIPS March 2, Florida Theatre FLEET FOXES March 2, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JOHN HAMMOND March 3, PVC Hall THE GEORGIA FLOOD March 3, Jack Rabbits JUSTIN MOORE, DYLAN SCOTT March 3, St. Augustine Amphitheatre TIERNEY SUTTON BAND March 4, Ritz Theatre KNOCKED LOOSE, TERROR, JESUS PIECE, STONE March 4, 1904 Music Hall ANA POPOVIC March 7, PVC Hall 25th Annual Guitar Gathering: THE LOS ANGELES GUITAR QUARTET March 8, Florida Theatre; DASotA benefit Celtic Music & Heritage Festival: EMMET CAHILL, DUBLIN CITY RAMBLERS, SEVEN NATIONS, RATHKELTAIR, EMISH, ALBANNACH, ENTER the HAGGIS, STEEL CITY

ROVERS, HOUSE of HAMILL March 9-11, Francis Field, St. Augustine Southern Uprising Tour: TRAVIS TRITT, THE CHARLIE DANIELS BAND, THE MARSHALL TUCKER BAND, THE OUTLAWS March 9, St. Augustine Amphitheatre COAST MODERN March 9, Jack Rabbits An Evening You’ll Forget for the Rest of Your Life: STEVE MARTIN, MARTIN SHORT, THE STEEP CANYON RANGERS, JEFF BABKO March 9, Times-Union Center. BIANCA DEL RIO March 10, PVC Hall SIDELINE March 10, Mudville Music Room BRAD PAISLEY, CHASE BRYANT March 10, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ROBIN TROWER March 10, Mudville Music Room The TENDERLOINS March 11, St. Augustine Amphitheatre THE IRISH ROVERS March 11, Florida Theatre The MARVIN GAYE EXPERIENCE March 11, ThrasherHorne Center ROBIN TROWER March 13, PVC Hall ANITA BAKER March 14, Times-Union Center JOE JENCKS March 16, Mudville Music Room DAVE EGGER ORCHESTRA March 16, St. Augustine Amphitheatre STEVE HOFSTETTER March 16, Jack Rabbits NAHKO “MY NAME IS BEAR TOUR”: The LATE ONES, XIUHTEZCATL March 16, PVC Hall GET the LED OUT March 16, Florida Theatre FOREIGNER March 16, St. Augustine Amphitheatre 1964 The TRIBUTE: The Best Beatles Band on Earth March 17, St. Augustine Amphitheatre WALKER BROTHERS, OLD DAWGS NEW TRIXX March 17, Mudville Music Room COREY SMITH March 17, Jack Rabbits ALICE COOPER March 18, Florida Theater A DAY TO REMEMBER, PAPA ROACH, FALLING IN REVERSE, THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA March 20, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MIKE & the MECHANICS March 21, PVC Hall WALTER SALAS-HUMARA March 23, Mudville Music Room STEEP CANYON RANGERS March 22, Florida Theatre RODNEY CARRINGTON March 23, Florida Theatre MIKE SHACKELFORD March 23, Mudville Music Room THREE DOG NIGHT, The LORDS of 52nd STREET March 25, Florida Theatre WATAIN March 25, Mavericks Live FORTUNATE YOUTH, BALLYHOO, TATANKA March 28, Mavericks Live LOUDON WAINWRIGHT III, LUCY WAINWRIGHT ROCHE March 30, PVC Hall DANGERMUFFIN March 30, Mudville Music Room UDO DIRKSCHNEIDER March 30, Jack Rabbits MAKS & VAL March 31, Florida Theatre BUDDY GUY, JIMMIE VAUGHAN, QUINN SULLIVAN April 5, Florida Theatre TOMMY EMMANUEL, ANTHONY SNAPE April 6 & 7, PVC Hall SETH WALKER April 7, Mudville Music Room THAT 1 GUY April 8, Jack Rabbits CHRIS BOTTI April 13, Florida Theatre ABBA the CONCERT April 17, Florida Theatre BRIAN CULBERTSON April 18, Florida Theatre BRUCE COCKBURN April 19, PVC Hall Wanee 2018: WIDESPREAD PANIC, PHIL LESH & the TERRAPIN FAMILY BAND, As The CROW FLIES, DARK STAR ORCHESTRA, ST. PAUL & the BROKEN BONES, JAIMOE’S JASSZ BAND, The CHRIS ROBINSON BROTHERHOOD, NORTH MISSISSIPPI ALLSTARS, KARL DENSON’S TINY UNIVERSE,

SOULSHINE & the SWAT TEAM perform their infectious, groovy set at Flying Iguana, Fri. & Sat., Dec. 22 & 23, Neptune Beach, free.

EAT a BUNCH of PEACHES, PIGEONS PLAYING PING PONG, WALTER TROUT, SONNY LANDRETH, The MARCUS KING BAND, GEORGE PORTER JR. & the RUNNING PARDNERS, SOUL REBELS, LES BROS, PINK TALKING FISH, BOBBY LEE ROGERS TRIO, BIG SOMETHING, NEW ORLEANS SUSPECTS, BERRY OAKLEY’S INDIGENOUS SUSPECTS, MIDNIGHT NORTH, The YETI TRIO, CRAZY FINGERS April 19, 29 & 21, Suwannee Music Park, Live Oak THOMAS RHETT, BRETT YOUNG, CARLY PEARCE April 20, Daily’s Place DAVID FOSTER April 24, Florida Theatre 10,000 MANIACS April 25, PVC Hall The Voice of Romance Tour: JOHNNY MATHIS April 26, Florida Theatre Welcome to Rockville: OZZY OSBOURNE, FOO FIGHTERS, AVENGED SEVENFOLD, QUEENS of the STONE AGE, BILLY IDOL, FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH, GODSMACK, STONE SOUR, BLACK VEIL BRIDES, AVATAR, MORE April 27, 28 & 29, Metro Park BLACK JACKET SYMPHONY, JACKSONVILLE ROCK SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA: Sgt. Pepper’s 50th Anniversary Tour April 27, Florida Theatre 25th Anniversary Live at the Acropolis: YANNI April 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ALLEN PARSONS PROJECT, CARL PALMER April 28, Florida Theatre LITTLE BIG TOWN, KACEY MUSGRAVES, MIDLAND May 4, St. Augustine Amphitheatre TODRICK HALL May 4, PVC Hall GYPSY STAR May 4, Mudville Music Room DOUGLAS ANDERSON GUITAR STUDENT BENEFIT May 5, Mudville Music Room JOE BONAMASSA May 10, St. Augustine Amphitheatre REBECCA LONG BAND May 11, Mudville Music Room STEVE FORBERT May 12, Mudville Music Room BAHAMAS May 14, PVC Hall MARC COHN & HIS TRIO May 15, PVC Hall ODESZA May 16, Daily’s Place ROD MacDONALD June 15, Mudville Music Room Last Summer on Earth 2018 Tour: BARENAKED LADIES, BETTER THAN EZRA, KT TUNSTALL July 6, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DON McLEAN July 27, PVC Hall

LIVE MUSIC CLUBS

AMELIA ISLAND + FERNANDINA

LA MANCHA, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646 Miguel Paley 5:30-9 p.m. every Fri.-Sun. Javier Parez every Sun. THE SALTY PELICAN, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811 Jimmy Beats 6 p.m. Dec. 20. Dan Voll & Michelle 4:30 p.m. Dec. 24 SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652 Pili Pili Dec. 20. Tad Jennings Dec. 21. Hupp & the Honeybadgers, Charlie Mayne Band Dec. 22. Chase Foraker 2 p.m., Cyrus 7 p.m. Dec. 23. JC & Mike 1 p.m. Dec. 24. Mark O’Quinn 6 p.m. Dec. 26 SURF RESTAURANT, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Katfish Lee 1 p.m. Dec. 20, 21 & 26

AVONDALE + ORTEGA

CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. Jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free 9 p.m. Tue. & Thur. Indie dance 9 p.m. Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance Fri.

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC THE BEACHES

(All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted) 1st STREET LOFT, 502 N. First St., 241-7848 Open mic 7 p.m. every Thur. ATLANTIC BEACH BREWING CO., 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 3 & 15, Atlantic Beach, 372-4116 Sol Rydah 8 p.m. Dec. 23 BLUE WATER DAIQUIRI & OYSTER BAR, 205 N. First St., 249-0083 Live music most weekends BRASS ANCHOR PUB, 2292 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0301 Open mic night 8 p.m. every Wed. CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 249-9595 DJ Seven Steve Dec. 21. Michael Funge 6:30 p.m. every Sun. FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & TEQUILA BAR, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680 Soulshine & the SWAT Team 10 p.m. Dec. 22 & 23 FLY’S TIE IRISH PUB, 177 Sailfish Dr., AB, 246-4293 Live music on weekends GREEN ROOM BREWING, 228 Third St. N., 201-9283 Robbie Litt Dec. 22. Adam Latiff Dec. 23 GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925 Groov 7:30 p.m. every Wed. Michael Smith every Thur. Milton Clapp every Fri. Under the Bus every Sat. Robert Eccles 6 p.m. every Sun. LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 First St. N., 249-5181 Firewater Tent Revival 10 p.m. Dec. 22. Yamadeo 10 p.m. Dec. 23. The Implications Dec. 25. K-Sick Dec. 29. Split Tone every Thur. Chillula every Sun. Kristen Campbell every Mon. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 Third St. N., 241-5600 Felix Chang 9:30 p.m. Dec. 28. Live music most weekends MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573 Gypsies Ginger every Wed. Mike Shackelford, Steve Shanholtzer every Thur. Mezza Shuffle every Mon. Trevor Tanner every Tue. OCEAN 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., AB, 247-0060 Taylor Roberts 7 p.m. Dec. 20 RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877 Cody Johnson Dec. 20. Live music Dec. 21. Sidewalk 65 Dec. 22 & 23. Big John Dec. 27. Four Play Dec. 28. Party Cartel Dec. 29 & 30. 7th Street Band Dec. 31 SOUTHERN GROUNDS & CO., 200 First St., NB, 249-2922 Jazz Corner 6 p.m. every Tue. SURFER THE BAR, 200 First St. N., 372-9756 Aaron Thomas Dec. 20. The Intracoastals Dec. 22. NewRock Soul Dec. 23. Trevor Barnes Dec. 26. Ryan Campbell Dec. 27 WHISKEY JAX, 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy., 853-5973 Billy Buchanan 8 p.m. Dec. 21. Yowsah 8 p.m. Dec. 22. Catch the Groove 8:30 p.m. Dec. 23

CAMDEN COUNTY, GA.

CAPTAIN STAN’S Smokehouse, 700 Bedell Dr., Woodbine, 912-729-9552 Touch of Grey 6:30 p.m. Dec. 22. Matt Walsh Band Dec. 23. Pine Box Dwellers Dec. 29. Michaele & the Ambiguous Dec. 30. Eddie Pickett 6:30 p.m. every Wed. JJ’S TAVERN, 711 Osborne St., St. Marys, 912-882-5280 Live music most weekends

DOWNTOWN

1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N., 345-5760 Traded Youth, RIP Jr., Discordant Generation, Blurg, Cosmic Highway 9 p.m. Dec. 20. Ugly Christmas Sweater Party: Universal Green, Top Shelf People 9 p.m. Dec. 22. Prof. Whiskey Productions: Tits, Tassels & Tensil 8 p.m. Dec. 23 BREEZY JAZZ CLUB, 119 W. Adams St., 666-7562 Bryan Hayes 8 p.m. Dec. 29. Doug Carn, Gwen Redding 7 p.m. Dec. 31 DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 DJ Brandon Thur. DJ NickFresh Sat. DJ Randall Mon. DJ Hollywood Tue. FIONN MacCOOL’S, Jacksonville Landing, 374-1247 Spade McQuade 6-9 p.m. Dec. 20 & 27. Ace Winn 8 p.m. Dec. 22. Live music 8 p.m. Dec. 29 & 30. Austin Park 9 p.m. Dec. 31 HOURGLASS PUB, 345 E. Bay St., 469-1719 Singersongwriter open mic 9 p.m. Thur. Live music 9:30 p.m. Fri. HYPERION BREWING CO., 1740 N. Main St., 518-5131 Open Mic 6:30 p.m.; sign-up 5:30 p.m. Dec. 21. Ouija Bros. 6-10 p.m. Dec. 22. Beau & the Burners 6-10 p.m. Dec. 23 INTUITION ALE WORKS, 929 E. Bay St., 683-7720 Live music most weekends JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 Smooth McFlea 9 p.m. Dec. 22. Austin Park 8 p.m.-1 a.m. Dec. 29. Boogie Freaks 9 p.m. Dec. 30. 7th Street Band 4 p.m., Briteside Band 9 p.m. Dec. 31 MAVERICKS LIVE, Jax Landing, 356-1110 Lil Baby 10 p.m. Dec. 23. 10th Annual Smokin’ Aces NYE Party 8 p.m. Dec. 31. Joe Buck, DJ Justin every Thur.-Sat. MYTH NIGHTCLUB, 333 E. Bay St., 707-0474 DJ Alekz Vibration, Lil Yankee Dec. 20. Sub-Lo, SkyHye, Johnny Oz, Twisted T Dec. 22. DJ Icey, Micro Dec. 23. Makoto Dec. 26

MANDARIN

ENZA’S, 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 109, 268-4458 Brian Iannucci Dec. 20 & Dec. 24 IGGY’S GRILL & BAR, 104 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 101, 209-5209 DJ Greg 7 p.m. every Wed. TAPS BAR & GRILL, 2220 C.R. 210, St. Johns, 819-1554 Jay Garrett 8 p.m. Dec. 20. Boogie Freaks 9:30 p.m. Dec. 22

ORANGE PARK + MIDDLEBURG

CHEERS PARK AVENUE, 1138 Park Ave., 269-4855 DJ Capone 9:30 p.m. Dec. 20. South of Savannah 9:30 p.m. Dec. 21. Ivan Pulley, Buddy Crump 5 p.m. Dec. 22 DALTON’S SPORTS GRILL, 2620 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 17, 282-1564 Live music Dec. 23 DEE’S MUSIC BAR, 2141 Loch Rane Blvd., Ste. 140, 375-2240 DJ Troy every Wed. The HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael on the piano every Tue.-Sat. The ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Anton LaPlume 9 p.m. Dec. 22. Live music every Fri. & Sat. SHARK CLUB, 714 Park Ave., 215-1557 Digital Skyline 9 p.m. Dec. 22. Live music most weekends

PONTE VEDRA

PUSSER’S GRILLE, 816 A1A, 280-7766 Savanna Leigh Bassett 6 p.m. Dec. 21. Live music every Wed.-Sat. TABLE 1, 330 A1A N., 280-5515 Live music every Wed., Thur. & Sat.

RIVERSIDE + WESTSIDE

ACROSS the STREET, 948 Edgewood Ave. S., 683-4182 Live music most weekends HOBNOB, 220 Riverside Ave., Ste. 10, 513-4272 Live music every Fri. NIGHTHAWKS, 2952 Roosevelt Blvd. HereAfter, Whiskey Throttle Dec. 30 RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449 Cortnie Frazier, Blue Muse, Donna Frost Dec. 23 SOUTH KITCHEN & SPIRITS, 3638 Park St., 475-2362 Live music most weekends

ST. AUGUSTINE

ARNOLD’S LOUNGE, 3912 N. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 824-8738 Jason Evans Band 9 p.m. Dec. 23. Mr. Natural every Thur. CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 Vinny Jacobs 2 p.m. Dec. 24 DOS COFFEE & WINE, 300 San Marco Ave., 342-2421 Live music every weekend MARDI GRAS, 123 San Marco Ave., 823-8806 Vegas Grey 9 p.m. Dec. 22. Not Quite Dead 9 p.m. Dec. 23. Frazzled 9 p.m. Dec. 29. 5th Century Music open mic night every Sun. Musicians Exchange every Mon. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040 Eddie Pickett 6 p.m. Dec. 22 & 29 PROHIBITION KITCHEN, 119 St. George St., 209-5704 Leelyn Osborn, Cookin In Da Kitchen 6 p.m. Dec. 20. To Satchmo with Love, Sailor Jane & the Hurricanes Dec. 21. Be Easy, Let’s Ride Dec. 22. Aslyn & the Naysayers, Swing Theory Dec. 23. Ramona Dec. 24. Aslyn & the Naysayers, Alley Katz Dec. 26 TEMPO, 16 Cathedral Pl., 342-0286 Open mic night 7:30 p.m. Dec. 20. Jay Bird 7 p.m. Dec. 21. Alex Richman Dec. 22. Original Blues Dudes 8:30 p.m. Dec. 23 TRADEWINDS LOUNGE, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Cottonmouth Dec. 22 & 23

SAN MARCO

DOUBLETREE, 1201 Riverplace Blvd., 398-8800 Live music 4:30 p.m. every Thur. GRAPE & GRAIN EXCHANGE, 2000 San Marco Blvd., 396-4455 John Lumpkin Dec. 22 JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Rosedale, Parkridge, Bricks Grenade, City in the Clouds 7 p.m. Dec. 20. The Little Books, Mercy Mercy 9 p.m. Jan. 21. Metal Militia, Year Zero, Elite 8 p.m. Dec. 22. RIP Jr., Public 8 p.m. Dec. 23. 10th annual JaxMas, Rickolus, DJ Chris G. Dec. 25. MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Other People’s Songs, Luke Peacock 7 p.m. Dec. 21

SOUTHSIDE, ARLINGTON & BAYMEADOWS

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955 Robby & Felix Dec. 21 WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., 634-7208 Carol Bristow-Zur 9 p.m. Dec. 20. Melissa Smith 8 p.m. Dec. 21. Larry’s B-Day: The Party Cartel 9 p.m. Dec. 22. George Aspinall Band 9 p.m. Dec. 23. Live music most weekends

FLEMING ISLAND

SPRINGFIELD + NORTHSIDE

INTRACOASTAL

_____________________________________

BOONDOCKS GRILL & BAR, 2808 Henley Rd., Green Cove, 406-9497 John Davis Dec. 20 & 27. Paul Ivey Dec. 21. Brandon Leino, Jake Cox Dec. 22. Christian Carter, Paul Ivey’s Souls of Joy Dec. 23 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999 Scott Elley 8:30 p.m. Dec. 21. Al Torchia 8:30 p.m. Dec. 22. Wes Cobb Dec. 23 WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Southern Ruckus 9 p.m. Dec. 22. DJ Big 9 p.m. Dec. 23 CLIFF’S Bar & Grill, 3033 Monument Rd., Ste. 2, 645-5162 Julia Gulia Dec. 20. Fratello 10 p.m. Dec. 22. No Saints 10 p.m. Dec. 23. Open mic every Tue. JERRY’S Sports Bar & Grille, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766 Retro Kats Dec. 21. Mr. Natural 8:30 p.m. Dec. 22. Live music every Fri.

OVERSET

BOSTON’S, 13070 City Station Dr., 751-7499 Savanna Leigh Bassett 9 p.m. Dec. 23 CROOKED ROOSTER BREWERY, 1478 S. Sixth St., Macclenny, 653-2337 Hangman Crown Dec. 31. Open mic 7 p.m. every Wed. KNUCKLEHEADS Bar, 850532 U.S. 17, 222-2380 Live music every weekend MELLOW MUSHROOM, 15170 Max Leggett Pkwy., 757-8843 Live music most every weekend OCEANWAY BAR, 12905 Main St. N., 647-9127 Live music most every weekend To list your band’s gig, please send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price, and a contact number to print to Madeleine Peck Wagner, email madeleine@folioweekly.com or by the U.S. Postal Service, 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Events run on a space-available basis. Deadline is at noon every Wednesday for the next Wednesday’s publication.

DECEMBER 20-26, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35

FOLIO DINING TOWN HALL is fast building a reputation as another must-visit dining destination in San Marco. photo by Madison Gross

AMELIA ISLAND + FERNANDINA BEACH

BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F On the water at Centre Street’s end. Southern hospitality, upscale atmosphere; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo.com. F Family-owned café in historic building. Worldly fare, made-from-scratch dressings, sauces, desserts, sourcing fresh veggies, seafood. Dine in or al fresco under oakshaded patio. Microbrew Karibrew Pub brews beer onsite; imports. $$ FB K TO R, Su; L Daily, D Tu-Su in season THE CRAB TRAP, 31 N. Second St., 261-4749, ameliacrabtrap.com. F For nearly 40 years, family-ownedand-operated. Fresh local seafood, steaks, specials. HH. $$ FB L Sa-M; D Nightly JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddianescafe.com. F Renovated 1887 shotgun house. Faves: jambalaya, French toast, pancakes, mac & cheese, crêpes. Vegan items. Inside or porch overlooking historic area. $$ BW K TO B L D M, W, F, Sa; B L Su LA MANCHA, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646, lamancharestaurante.com. Spanish, Portuguese fare, Brazilian flair. Tapas, seafood, steaks, sangria. Drink specials. AYCE paella Sun. $$$ FB K TO D Nightly LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 474272 S.R. 200, 844-2225. F SEE ORANGE PARK. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moonriverpizza.net. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Authentic Northern-style pizzas, 20-plus toppings, pie/slice. Calzones. $ BW TO L D M-Sa THE MUSTARD SEED CAFÉ, 833 Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Casual organic eatery, juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juices, herbal teas, coffees, daily specials. $$ K TO B L M-Sa THE PATIO PLACE, 416 Ash St., 410-3717, patioplacebistro. com. Bistro/wine bar/crêperie’s global menu uses crêpes: starters, entrées, shareables, desserts. $$ BW TO B L D Tu-Su

DINING DIRECTORY KEY AVERAGE ENTRÉE COST $ $$

< $10

$$$

10- $20

$$$$

20-$35 > $35

ABBREVIATIONS & SPECIAL NOTES BW = Beer/Wine

L = Lunch

FB = Full Bar

D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted Free Folio Weekly Bite Club Event F = Folio Weekly Distribution Spot

K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch

To list your restaurant, call your account manager or call or text SAM TAYLOR, Folio Weekly publisher, at 904-860-2465 (email: staylor@folioweekly.com). 36 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 20-26, 2017

POINTE RESTAURANT, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabethpointelodge.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. In award-winning inn Elizabeth Pointe Lodge. Seaside dining; in or out. Hot buffet breakfast daily, full lunch menu. Homestyle soups, specialty sandwiches, desserts. $$$ BW K B L D Daily THE SALTY PELICAN BAR & GRILL, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. 2nd-story outdoor bar. T.J. & Al offer local seafood, fish tacos, Mayport shrimp, po’boys, cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Oceanfront. Award-winning handmade crabcakes, fried pickles, fresh seafood. Open-air 2nd floor balcony, playground. $$ FB K L D Daily THE SURF RESTAURANT & BAR, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711, thesurfonline.com. Oceanview dining since 1957, inside or on the deck. Steaks, seafood, burgers, daily food and drink specials; Wing It Wednesdays. $$ FB K TO L D Daily T-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. Eighth St., 261-6310, traysburgerstation.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Family-owned-and-operated 18+ years. Blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L M-Sa

ARLINGTON + REGENCY

LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1301 Monument Rd., Ste. 5, 724-5802. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

AVONDALE + ORTEGA

FOOD ADDICTZ GRILL, 1044 Edgewood Ave. S., 240-1987. Family-and-veteran-owned place is all about home cooking. Customer faves: barbecued pulled pork, blackened chicken, Caesar wrap and Portobello mushroom burger. $ K TO B L D Tu-Su HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, harpoonlouies.net. F Locally owned & operated 20+ years. American pub. 1/2-lb. burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta. Local beers, HH. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MOJO NO. 4 URBAN BBQ & WHISKEY BAR, 3572 St. Johns Ave., Ste. 1, 381-6670, mojobbq.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Pulled pork and Carolina-style barbecue. Delta fried catfish. Avondale’s Mojo has shrimp & grits, specialty cocktails. Local musicians on weekends. $$ FB K TO L D Daily PINEGROVE MARKET & DELI, 1511 PineGrove Ave., 389-8655, pinegrovemarket.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. 40+ years. Burgers, Cubans, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher, USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. Fri. & Sat. fish fry. $ BW TO B L D M-Sa RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaurantorsay.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. French/ Southern bistro; local organic ingredients. Steak frites, mussels, pork chops. $$$ FB R, Su; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simplysaras.net. F Down-home fare from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Tu-Sa, B Sa SOUTH KITCHEN & SPIRITS, 3638 Park St., 475-2362, south.kitchen. Southern classics: crispy catfish with smoked gouda grits, family-style fried chicken, burgers, vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free options. $$ FB K TO L D Daily

BAYMEADOWS

AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE INTRACOASTAL. INDIA’S, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajaxcom. F Authentic cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetables, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L M-Sa; D Nightly LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

DINING DIRECTORY METRO DINER, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., 425-9142. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE SAN MARCO. NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 11030 Baymeadows Rd., 260-2791. 2017 Best of Jax finalist. SEE MANDARIN. PATTAYA THAI GRILLE, 9551 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1, 646-9506, ptgrille.com. 2017 Best of Jax finalist. Since 1989, the family-owned place has offered an extensive menu of traditional Thai, vegetarian, new-Thai; curries, seafood, noodles, soups. Low-sodium & gluten-free. $$$ BW TO L D Tu-Sa THE WELL WATERING HOLE, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9, 737-7740, thewellwateringhole.com. Local craft beers, glass/bottle wines. Meatloaf sandwich, pulled Peruvian chicken, vegan black bean burgers. Gluten-free pizzas, desserts. HH specials. $$ BW K TO L M-F; D Tu-Sa WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 135, 634-7208, whiskeyjax.com. Popular gastropub has craft beers, gourmet burgers, handhelds, signature plates, tacos and–sure– whiskey. HH M-F. $$ FB B Sa & Su; L F; D Nightly

BEACHES

(Venues are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

1st STREET LOFT, 502 N. First St., 241-7848, 1ststreetloft.com. New beach spot serves breakfast and lunch all day. Local artists’ works are displayed. It’s a coffeehouse and live music venue, too. $ TO B L D W-Sa; B L Su & M ANGIE’S SUBS, 1436 Beach Blvd., 246-2519. ANGIE’S GROM SUBS, 204 Third Ave. S., 241-3663. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Fresh ingredients, 25+ years. Huge salads, blue-ribbon iced tea. Grom has Sun. brunch, no alcohol. $ K BW TO L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 2400 S. Third St., Ste. 201, 374-5735. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. BREEZY COFFEE SHOP WINE BAR, 235 Eighth Ave. S., 241-2211, breezycoffeeshopcafe.com. Local beachy coffee & wine shop by day; wine bar by night. Fresh baked pastries, breakfast sandwiches all day. Grab-n-Go salads, cheeses, hummus. $ BW K TO B L D Daily The CRAFT PIZZA CO., 240 Third St. N., Neptune Beach, 853-6773, thecraftpizzaco.com. F Al Mansur’s new place has innovative pies made with locally sourced ingredients. Dine inside or out. $$ BW L D Daily CRUISERS GRILL, 319 23rd Ave. S., 270-0356, cruisersgrill. com. Locally owned & operated 20+ years. Half-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, big salads, award-winning cheddar fries, sangria. $ BW K TO L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001, europeanstreet.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE RIVERSIDE.

GRILL ME!

LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 6586 GA. Hwy. 40 B6, St. Marys, 912-576-7006. F SEE ORANGE PARK. OUTERBANKS SPORTS BAR & GRILLE, 140 The Lakes Blvd., Ste. H, Kingsland, 912-729-5499. Fresh seafood, burgers, steaks, wings. $$ FB TO D Nightly SALT.PEPPER.THYME, 105 N. Lee St., Kingsland, 912-510-0444, saltpepperthyme.net. Varied American Southern fare in an elegant setting. Dine in or out. $$ BW K TO L W; L & D Th-Sa

DOWNTOWN

BELLWETHER, 100 N. Laura St., 802-7745, bellwetherjax.com. Elevated Southern classics in an understated setting, with chef/owner Jon Insetta’s focus on flavors, and chef Kerri Rogers’ culinary creativity. The Northeast Florida menu changes seasonally. Rotating local craft beers, regional spirits, cold brew coffee program. $$ FB TO L M-F CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth, 356-8282, casadoraitalian.com. F Serving Italian fare, 40+ years: veal, seafood, pizza. Homemade salad dressing. $ BW K L M-F; D M-Sa OLIO MARKET, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com. F Scratch soups, sandwiches. Duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L M-F; D F & Sa SPLIFF’S GASTROPUB, 15 N. Ocean St., 844-5000, spliffsgastropub.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Music venue has munchie apps, mac & cheese dishes, pockets, gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches. HH M-F. $ BW L D M-Sa URBAN GRIND COFFEE COMPANY, 45 W. Bay, Ste. 102, 516-7799, urbangrind.coffee. Locally roasted whole bean brewed coffees, espressos, pastries, smoothies, bagels. Chicken/tuna salad, sandwiches. WiFi. $ B L M-F URBAN GRIND EXPRESS, 50 W. Laura St., 516-7799. SEE ABOVE. ZODIAC BAR & GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283, thezodiacbarandgrill.com. 16+ years. Mediterranean cuisine, American fare, paninis, vegetarian dishes. Lunch buffet. Espressos, hookahs. HH M-F. $ FB L M-F; D W-Sa

FLEMING ISLAND

GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 1915 East-West Pkwy., 541-0009. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. MOJO SMOKEHOUSE, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE AVONDALE. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteysfishcamp.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Real fish camp. Gator tail, freshwater catfish, daily specials, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar. Come by boat, bike or car. $ FB K TO L Tu-Su; D Nightly

SEAN CHENOT

Burrito Gallery

90 Riverside Ave. • Riverside

Born in: Fort Myers Years in Biz: 7 Favorite Restaurant: Columbia House (St. Augustine) Favorite Cuisine Style: Asian Go-To Ingredients: Garlic, all proteins & eggs Ideal Meal: Med-rare steak, garlic mash, green beans & a nice hoppy IPA Will Not Cross My Lips: Anchovies Insider’s Secret: If you get tofu, coat it in oil first so it doesn't stick to anything Celebrity Sighting At Your Bar: The entire Jaguars team Culinary Treat: Krispy Kreme Donuts FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & TEQUILA BAR, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680, flyingiguana.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Latin American: tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana fare. 100+ tequilas. $ FB TO L D Daily GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925, gustojax.com. Classic Old World Roman fare, big Italian menu: homestyle pasta, beef, chicken, fish delicacies; open pizza-tossing kitchen. Reservations encouraged. $$ FB TO L R D Tu-Su HAWKERS ASIAN STREET FARE, 241 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 425-1025. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 657 Third St. N., 247-9620. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 1534 3rd St. N., 853-6817. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT & BLUES BAR, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE AVONDALE. M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-2599, shackburgers.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes. Dine indoors or out. $$ BW L D Daily NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 1585 N. Third St., 458-1390. 2017 Best of Jax finalist. SEE MANDARIN. RAGTIME TAVERN SEAFOOD & GRILL, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F 34 years and counting, the iconic seafood place serves blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily HH, brunch Sun. $$ FB L D Daily WHISKEY JAX, 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy., 853-5973. SEE BAYMEADOWS.

CAMDEN COUNTY, GEORGIA

CAPTAIN STAN’S SMOKEHOUSE, 700 Bedell Dr., Woodbine, 912-729-9552. Barbecue, sides, hot dogs, burgers, desserts. Dine in or out on picnic tables. $$ FB K TO L & D Tu-Sa

INTRACOASTAL WEST

AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. 30 years of awesome gourmet pizza, baked dishes. All day HH M-Th. $ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

MANDARIN + NW ST. JOHNS

AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE INTRACOASTAL. ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199, athenscafejax.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. 20+ years of Greek fare, serving dolmades (stuffed grape leaves), baby shoes (stuffed eggplant), Greek beers. Vegetarian-friendly. Full bar. Early bird menu Mon.-Fri. $$ FB L M-F; D M-Sa CRUISERS GRILL, 5613 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 1, 737-2874. SEE BEACHES. FIRST COAST DELI & GRILL, 6082 St. Augustine Rd., 733-7477. Pancakes, bacon, sandwiches, burgers, wings. $ K TO B L Daily JAX DINER, 5065 St. Augustine Rd., 739-7070, jaxdiner.com. Simple name, simple concept: Local. Chef Roderick “Pete” Smith, a local culinary expert with nearly 20 years under his apron, uses locally sourced ingredients from area farmers, vendors and the community for American and Southern dishes. Seasonal brunch. $ K TO B L M-F, D F METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO BAR-B-QUE, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200, mojobbq.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE AVONDALE. NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. F 2017 Best of Jax finalist. Organic soups, baked items, sandwiches,

BITE-SIZED

Amelia Island bakery TAKES THE CAKE

HIGH ON

SUGAR

MACARONS, MILE-HIGH CAKES, COOKIES, GIANT cinnamon buns and more await at NANA TERESA’S BAKE SHOP on Amelia Island. It’s the ideal shop for holiday sweets, with all the goodies you (and that right jolly old elf) want and more. The enormous cinnamon buns ($4.25) are sliced in half and stuffed with a filling of nuts and sugary cream cheese that perks up the slightly dry dough. The treat, which is as big as your face, really can be entirely consumed, but it’s not a Nassau County ordinance … yet. Let the masterminds behind the many delights; i.e., Teresa and Mark Markarian, warm it up for maximum tastiness. I shriek with sheer joy every time I find a spot with Italian rainbow cookies displayed in a shiny glass case ($14.95/pound). The tricolored treats are more like little cakes than cookies, but it’s all semantics after that first bite. Each layer–green, red and white–is an almondy tidbit, coated with a fruity jam like raspberry or, my favorite, orange marmalade, then covered with chocolate. They’re sliced to show off those lovely layers. The artists at the ovens don’t make these in-house, but they were so delicious I let it slide. Nana Teresa carries a full line of macarons ($2.50) as well; not coconut-based macaroons, but the French delicacy that’s meringue-based. Mexican Chocolate, lavender, pumpkin and fruity pebbles are a few of the flavors available. Of those I picked, it was the luck of the draw. Some were a little on

NANA TERESA’S BAKE SHOP

13 N. Third St., Fernandina Beach, 277-7977, nanateresa.com

the stale side, their shells crumbly rather than the signature creamy and crunchy outer shell of macs; others were absolutely flawless. As they say, ya pays yer money and ya takes yer chances. To reel you totally in, I’ve saved the best for last. Cakes, cakes, cakes! Giant stacks of happiness, they’re as high as you’ll feel after you devour a slab or twelve. New cake flavors pop up in the display often. The day we went, the Chocolate Marble Cake caught our fancy. The generous piece ($4.95) was moist with thick, homemade buttercream frosting covering the whole shebang. The icing on the cake (figuratively, that is, lol) was a pudding-like chocolate filling between the layers. Attack zestfully with a fork. The Markarians offer a variety of coffees and teas, so you can linger over a cup of chai or a latte with your pastry. And a first-rate rarity also awaits you at Nana Teresa’s: eg creams. C’mon– you’ve been to Brooklyn. Mark scored a grand old soda fountain (think Jeff Daniels’ soda shop in Pleasantville) where, using his own handmade syrups, he concocts some of the best egg creams this side of Brighton Beach. The full-service bakery has wedding cakes, cheesecakes, smash cakes, pies and more. Worried about gluten? Have no fear–Nana Teresa’s offer items just for you. Simply tell them of your restrictions and they’ll be happy to make substitutions. Noshing at Nana Teresa’s is an excellent way to cap off a meal–or go crazy and their sweets into a meal. After all, ’tis the season. (Psst–I suggest the cake.) Brentley Stead biteclub@folioweekly.com DECEMBER 20-26, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37

DINING DIRECTORY PINT-SIZED ED

Get ’em something they’ll ACTUALLY USE

The guys at GREEN ROOM BREWING in Jax Beach take personal care with every vat they brew. photo by Madison Gross

SKIP SWEATERS

OVERSET

’N’ SOCKS

CHRISTMAS IS ONLY A FEW DAYS AWAY AND THERE are still a couple of people on your “Nice” list that you need to buy gifts for. If said people are beer lovers, something beer-related is a shoe-in. Since we already discussed beer gifts a few weeks ago, this column focuses on other gifts in the beer realm. Each is sure to please even the most discriminating connoisseur. What could be better than a new beer every day of the year? Well, nothing. If that strains your budget, the “A Year of Good Beer” page-a-day calendar is just the ticket to tantalize your recipient with facts, descriptions and even beer cocktail recipes. Pick one up at your local bookstore. While there may not be a beer of the day club, there is a beer of the month club. Choose from several membership types, like craft beer or rare beer. Each club offers shipment of the chosen type each month, along with expert descriptions and pairing advice. There’s nothing tacky about tackers. These metal beer signs look great in any man-cave or she-shed and would make a very welcome gift. Available in a variety of sizes, tackers range from small, license plate-size to huge 20-inch or more wall covers. Pick these up at taprooms and stores that specialize in old signage. Making one’s own beer is many beer-lovers’ dream. At Just Brew It in Riverside and Jacksonville Beach, find everything needed to put together the ultimate beer-brewing system. You can go big with set-ups that can cost hundreds or go with a kit that runs only about $100. Either way, the recipient will be well on their way to making beer from scratch. A third option is a Mr. Beer kit. This small, counter-top beer-making system includes ingredients for one 2.5-gallon batch of beautiful, sudsy beer. Beer-lovers are a proud bunch. Just go to any beercentric bar or taproom and you are sure to see patrons in various beer T-shirts sipping delicious craft brew. That’s why the Beer T-shirt Club (beertshirtclub.com) is genius. For just $19.99/month, the club will ship a premium T-shirt from a rare, out-of-the-way brewery. These are exactly the kinds of conversation-starter shirts beer-fiends love to wear. If a monthly commitment isn’t your style, try perusing the T-shirts at Old Navy, Walmart and any number of other stores, including secondhand shops; you’ll definitely find at least one that fits the bill. Just stay away from one that says, “This Guy Needs a Beer.” It’s a bit played out. Beer-nuts also love to collect unique beer glasses. My cabinet is stuffed with glasses from the many breweries, pubs and taverns I have visited. But my prized possession is the beer stein my wife had custom engraved for our wedding day. You too can get a custom beer mug, stein or glass made at a number of vendors, anything from ceramic mugs to glasses with pewter plates attached. If you are really in a hurry, I suggest swinging by Things Remembered at the local mall and seeing what they have and how fast they can engrave. Marc Wisdom marc@folioweekly.com 38 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 20-26, 2017

prepared foods. Juice, smoothie, coffee bar. All-natural beer/ wine. $ BW TO K B L D Daily

ORANGE PARK

THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959, hilltop-club.com. Southern fine dining. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. Extensive bourbon selection. $$$ FB D Tu-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 165, 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 15, 272-3553. 5733 Roosevelt Blvd., 446-9500. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove, 284-7789, larryssubs.com. F Larry’s piles ’em high, serves ’em fast; 36+ years. Hot & cold subs, soups. Some Larry’s serve breakfast. $ K TO B L D Daily METRO DINER, 2034 Kingsley Ave., 375-8548. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. The ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611, roadhouseonline.net. Sandwiches, wings, burgers, quesadillas for 35+ years. 75+ imported beers. Live music. $ FB L D Daily SPRING PARK COFFEE, 328 Ferris St., Green Cove Springs, 531-9391, springparkcoffee.com. Cozy shop; fresh-roasted Brass Tacks coffee, handcrafted hot & cold drinks, specialty lattes, cappuccino, macchiato, teas, pastries, sandwiches, breakfast. $ B L D Daily

PONTE VEDRA BEACH

AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A, 543-1494. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE INTRACOASTAL. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 830 A1A N., Ste. 6, 273-3993. F SEE ORANGE PARK. M SHACK NOCATEE, 641 Crosswater Pkwy., 395-3575. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE BEACHES. METRO DINER, 340 Front St., Ste. 700, 513-8422. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE SAN MARCO.

RIVERSIDE, 5 PTS + WESTSIDE

13 GYPSIES, 887 Stockton St., 389-0330, 13gypsies.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Authentic Mediterranean cuisine: chorizo, tapas, blackened cod, pork skewers, coconut mango curry chicken. Breads from scratch. $$ BW L D Tu-Sa, R Sa AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., Ste. 201, 388-8384. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE INTRACOASTAL. BIG OAK BBQ & CATERING, 1948 Henley Rd., Middleburg, 214-3041. 1440 Dunn Ave., 757-2225, bigoakbbqfl.com. Family-owned-and-operated barbecue joints have smoked chicken, pulled pork, ribs, sides and stumps, which sounds damn good. $$ K TO L D M-Sa BLACK SHEEP, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, blacksheep5points. com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. New American, Southern; local source ingredients. Specials, rooftop bar. HH. $$$ FB R Sa & Su; L M-F; D Nightly BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 869 Stockton St., Ste. 1, 855-1181, boldbeancoffee.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Small-batch, artisanal approach to sourcing and roasting single-origin, direct-trade coffees. Signature blends, handcrafted syrups, espressos, craft beers. $ BW TO B L Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412, cornertaco.com. Made-from-scratch “Mexclectic street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free, vegetarian options. $ BW L D Tu-Su CUMMER CAFÉ, Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummer.org. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Light lunch, quick bites, locally roasted coffee, espresso-based drinks, sandwiches, desserts, daily specials. Dine in or in gardens. $ BW K L D Tu; L W-Su EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 2753 Park St., 384-9999. 2017 Best of Jax winner. 130+ import beers, 20 on tap. Sandwiches. Dine outside at some E-Sts. $ BW K L D Daily

GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Juice bar uses certified organic fruits, veggies. Artisanal cheeses, 300 craft, import beers, 50 organic wines, produce, meats, vitamins, herbs, wraps, sides, sandwiches. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS ASIAN STREET FARE, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Authentic dishes from mobile stalls: BBQ pork char sui, beef haw fun, Hawkers baos, chow faan, grilled Hawker skewers. $ BW TO L D Daily IL DESCO, 2665 Park St., 290-6711, ildescojax.com. Authentic Italian cuisine; wood-fired pizzas, pasta, baked Italian dishes, raw bar, spaghetti tacos. Daily HH. $$-$$$ FB K TO L D Daily JOHNNY’S DELI & GRILLE, 474 Riverside Ave., 356-8055. F Casual spot offers made-to-order sandwiches, wraps. $ TO B L M-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1509 Margaret St., 674-2794. 7895 Normandy Blvd., 781-7600. 8102 Blanding Blvd., 779-1933. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., 999-4600. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. M SHACK, 1012 Margaret St., 423-1283. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE BEACHES. SOUTHERN ROOTS FILLING STATION, 1275 King St., 513-4726, southernrootsjax.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Fresh vegan fare; local, organic ingredients. Specials, on bread, local greens/rice, change daily. Sandwiches, coffees, teas. $ Tu-Su SUN-RAY CINEMA, 1028 Park St., 359-0047, sunraycinema.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. First-run, indie and art films screened. Beer, local drafts, wine, pizza–Godbold, Black Lagoon Supreme–hot dogs, hummus, sandwiches, popcorn, nachos, brownies. $$ BW Daily SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside Ave., Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushicafejax.com. F Monster, Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll. Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. Inside/patio. $$ BW L D Daily

ST. AUGUSTINE

AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE INTRACOASTAL. The CORAZON CINEMA & CAFE, 36 Granada St., 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com. Sandwiches, combos, salads and pizza are served at the cinema house, showing indie and first-run movies. $$ Daily CRUISERS GRILL, 3 St. George St., 824-6993. SEE BEACHES. THE FLORIDIAN, 72 Spanish St., 829-0655, thefloridianstaug.com. Updated Southern fare; fresh, local ingredients. Vegetarian, gluten-free options. Signature fried green tomato bruschetta, blackened fish cornbread stack; grits w/shrimp/fish/tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D W-M GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F 34+ years. Varied urban cuisine menu changes twice daily. Signature: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. $$ FB R Su; L D Daily MARDI GRAS SPORTS BAR, 123 San Marco Ave., 347-3288, mardibar.com. Lively spot has wings, nachos, shrimp, chicken, Phillys, sliders, soft pretzels. $$ FB TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 1000 S. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 758-3323. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO OLD CITY BBQ, 5 Cordova St., 342-5264, mojobbq. com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE AVONDALE. SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 321 A1A, 217-3256. SEE BEACHES. WOODPECKER’S BACKYARD BBQ, 4930 S.R. 13, 531-5670, woodpeckersbbq.weebly.com. Smoked fresh daily. Brisket, ribs, pork, sausage, turkey: in sandwiches, plates by the pound. 8 sauces, 10 sides. $$ TO L D Tu-Su

SAN MARCO + SOUTHBANK

THE BEARDED PIG SOUTHERN BBQ & BEER GARDEN, 1224 Kings Ave., 619-2247, thebeardedpigbbq.com. 2017 Best of Jax finalist. Barbecue joint Southern style: brisket, pork, chicken, sausage, beef; veggie platters. $$ BW K TO Daily BISTRO AIX, 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox.com. F Mediterranean/French inspired menu changes seasonally. 250+ wines. Wood-fired oven-baked, grilled specialties: pizza, pasta, risotto, steaks, seafood. Hand-crafted cocktails, specialty drinks. Dine outside. HH M-F. $$$ FB L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 1905 Hendricks Ave. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 398-9500. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusionsushijax.com. F Upscale; fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, katsu, seafood. $$ K L D Daily HAVANA-JAX CAFÉ/CUBA LIBRE BAR, 2578 Atlantic Blvd., 399-0609, havanajax.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Bite Club certified. Cuban sandwiches are the real thing: big, thick, flattened. Traditional fare: black beans & rice, plantains, steaks, seafood, chicken & rice, roast pork. Spanish wine, drink specials, mojitos, Cuba libres. Nonstop HH. $ FB K L D Daily KITCHEN ON SAN MARCO, 1402 San Marco Blvd., 396-2344, kitchenonsanmarco.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Gastropub serves local, national craft beers, specialty cocktails. Seasonal menu, with fresh, locally sourced ingredients. $$ FB R Su; L D Daily METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metrodinercom. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Original upscale diner in a historic 1930s-era building. Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, soups. This one serves dinner nightly. $$ B R L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco Blvd., 398-3005, tavernasanmarco.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Chef Sam Efron’s authentic Italian; tapas, wood-fired pizza. Seasonal local produce, meats. Craft beer (some local), award-winning wine. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily

SOUTHSIDE + TINSELTOWN

ALHAMBRA THEATRE & DINING, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Open 50 years. Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus. Reservations. $$ FB D Tu-Su EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. LARRY’S SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F SEE ORANGE PARK. MARIANAS GRINDS, 11380 Beach Blvd., Ste. 10, 206-612-6596. Pacific Islander fare, chamorro culture. Soups, stews, fitada, beef oxtail, katden pika; empanadas, lumpia, chicken relaguen, BBQ-style ribs, chicken. $$ TO B L D Tu-Su M SHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE BEACHES.

SPRINGFIELD + NORTHSIDE

ANDY’S GRILL, 1810 W. Beaver St., 354-2821, jaxfarmersmarket.com. 2017 Best of Jax finalist. Inside Jax Farmers Market. Local, regional, international produce. Breakfast, sandwiches. $ B L D M-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 12001 Lem Turner Rd., 764-9999. SEE ORANGE PARK. UPTOWN KITCHEN & BAR, 1303 Main St. N., 355-0734, uptownmarketjax.com. Bite Club certified. Fresh fare, innovative menus, farm-to-table selections, daily specials. $$ BW TO B L Daily

CHEFFED-UP

Chef Bill finds CULINARY INSPIRATION on a tropical vacation

R&D AND

SOME R&R

LAST MONTH, I TOOK A SHORT CULINARY RESEARCH & development trip to the Caribbean. And I’d like to thank Folio Weekly for sponsoring the expedition …. Wait, that’s just a fantasy: to be sent all over the world on culinary-inspired trips and then recon to my publisher with numerous columns describing my epicurean adventures. All-expense-paid food-tasting, business-tripping: That’s the life for me! Maybe Santa Clause can help? The trip began with a brief stop in Tampa for I took a cooking class. Checking out the competition is extremely beneficial to stay at the top of your game. The class was fun, but my classes are way more fun— and more informative, obviously! Next stop was the Miami airport. Unfortunately, our gate was in the long-forgotten wastelands where food options were zero. Luckily, there was beer to entertain me while I anticipated exotic island dishes. My destination was Grand Cayman Island, smack-dab in the middle of the Caribbean Sea, aka the Sea of Deliciousness. Boy, was I ready to dig into fantastic foodstuffs that had evolved over hundreds of years of world trade. What I found was somewhat disappointing. Grand Cayman had none of the homegrown melting-pot cuisine the Caribbean is known for … no national dish, no local culinary traditions. In fact, no native edibles at all. The island was uninhabited when the British claimed it in the 1600s, with very little value beyond its sublime tropic breezes and its now-worldrenowned Seven Mile Beach. Centuries on, resort hotels were built to cater to international tourists. With no discernable local victuals, a kind of greatest hits list of popular cuisines from across the globe emerged. Though every single meal I had was absolutely delicious, utilizing fantastically fresh ingredients, and prepared by very skilled hands, the viands were vapid. Fortunately, I did find a few Cheffed Up Caribbean dishes, like Jamaican chicken curry and perfectly prepared plantains. And the local brewery was top-notch. I’m now all about White Tip Lager, not to

mention swimming with stingrays. Here’s my Jamaican Curry rendition.

OVERSET

CHEF BILL’S JAMAICAN CHICKEN CURRY Ingredients: • 2 tbsp. bacon fat, lard or vegetable oil • 1 large yellow onion • 2 tbsp. garlic, minced • 3 tbsp. ginger, grated • 2 habanero chili, minced (wear gloves) • 4 tbsp. Jamaican curry powder • 2 oz. white wine • 6 chicken thighs, with skin and bones, • trimmed of excess skin • 6 small new potatoes, cut in wedges • 2 cups chicken broth • 2 cups coconut milk • 2 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce • Salt and pepper to taste

Directions: 1. Season the chicken with salt and pepper. 2. Brown the thighs in bacon fat in a 1. large Dutch oven. Remove and pour 1. out excess fat. 3. Sweat the onion until translucent; 1. add garlic, ginger, chili and curry 1. powder. Toast for one minute, 1. constantly stirring. Deglaze with wine 1. and reduce to almost dry. 4. Add the chicken broth and coconut 1. milk. Bring to a simmer and reduce 1. by one-quarter. 5. Add chicken, cover and place in a 1. 325°F oven for about 20 minutes. 1. Add the potatoes and Worcestershire. 1. Return all to oven and cook until 1. chicken is tender and cooked 1. through, about 20 more minutes. 6. Remove chicken to a warm platter, 1. place pan back on burner, and reduce 1. sauce until slightly thickened. Pour 1. over chicken. Until we cook again,

Chef Bill Thompson cheffedup@folioweekly.com ___________________________________ Contact Chef Bill, owner of The Amelia Island Culinary Academy, at cheffedup@folioweekly. com to find inspiration and get you Cheffed Up!

CHEFFED-UP GROCER’S COMMUNITY

BUYGO

WHOLE FOODS

ROWE’S

NATIVE SUN

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EARTH FAIR

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THE SAVORY MARKET

474380 FL-200 Fernandina Beach, FL 32034 DECEMBER 20-26, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 39

PET PARENTING FOLIO LIVING DEAR

DAVI

FORGET DOGGIE BAGS Skip the middleman and try DOG-FRIENDLY DINING

ANYONE WHO KNOWS me knows I love food, especially eggs. So when I heard that South Kitchen + Spirits is offering a specialty menu just for dogs, my tail wagged so enthusiastically it created a tailwind … get it? The Avondale eatery serves Southern standards—a savory Do not miss The Yappy Hour—food and selection that hounds will drink specials for humans from 3-6 p.m. love to sink their canines into. These dishes daily, along with complimentary treats for were named for—and approved by—Chef canines–as it should be. Brian Siebenschuh’s own pack. South Kitchen’s outdoor patio is one While it might seem a bit much to of the loveliest in Northeast Florida; it’s a serve a sirloin strip to a schnauzer, I was great spot for dining whether you’re a dog particularly pleased to find a restaurant willing to throw dogs more than just the or not. There’s plenty of space to gather proverbial bone. ’round the fire pit or sprawl at a table with The standout entrée for me was the your pals. Annie Bowl ($1.50), scrambled eggs Dining with dogs is a growing trend, flavored with truffle oil. Every bit of so there’s no reason to feel awkward about deliciousness was devoured in three bites, breaking bread with your furry friend in and I admit to licking the public. And fortunately for bowl clean–there’s no shame those of who like to enjoy a SOUTH KITCHEN in that! The friendly staff nice day with their pets and a + SPIRITS kept my water bowl and my delicious meal, there are more 3638 Park St., Riverside, belly filled with fresh water to great local eateries like South 475-2362, south.kitchen wash it all down. Kitchen + Spirits endeavoring My ears perked up at the to make sure canine word ‘bologna,’ and though the bologna companions can share a little something and pulled roast chicken are listed as small with their owners while dining. bites ($1), they can easily be fashioned into Best part about dining with your dog? a meal. No cell phones–or leftovers-on the table. On the heartier side, the raw bowls are Keep in mind that dogs, just like barking amazing! The Riot Bowl ($4) is a humans, can be allergic to certain foods. healthy helping of diced raw steak paired So always make sure you know your pooch with a raw egg. The same is true of the most can handle what you order so there’s no popular dish, the Tank Bowl ($2). It’s a raw unexpected, um, gifts on the backseat on the beef patty topped with a raw egg. ride home. Humans need not be envious, though. Bone appetite! South Kitchen serves tasty fare for twoDavi legged diners, with starters, salads, mail@folioweekly.com ____________________________________ sandwiches, burgers, entrées (with a seafood focus) and more family-style grub. Davi the dachshund is still licking his chops.

PET TIP: ARE WE BEST FRIENDS NOW? YEP! SOME MAY AWW AND SOME MAY EWW, BUT FACT IS, RATS ARE QUITE HONORABLE COMPANIONS DESPITE outward looks and years of defamation at the hands of pesky animators (looking at you, Watership Down). They’re much more intelligent than they’re given credit for and quite sociable little critters, meaning they don’t like being alone. Even if you’re around to give them attention, it’s still a good idea to at least keep them in pairs. Everybody needs somebody and nobody wants to be alone during the holidays, even rats. 40 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 20-26, 2017

LOCAL PET EVENTS JAX HUMANE SOCIETY SILENT NIGHT • Give a pet a temporary home. Go to the shelter (starting at noon) on Dec. 21 through 2 p.m. Dec. 24, pick out a pet for a sleepover, keep your guest until Dec. 26, when you’ll return the pet—unless, of course, you’ve fallen in love, in which case you’ll adopt! There’s no cost to temporarily take home a Silent Night pet to foster. All the details are at jaxhumane.org. 8464 Beach Blvd., Southside, 725-8766, adoptions@jaxhumane.org. NASSAU COUNTY HUMANE SOCIETY SECOND CHANCE CLOSET • The thrift shop has gently used items: furniture, household items, collectibles, books, and much more. Shop or bring your donations. All proceeds benefit the homeless animals at Nassau Humane Society to offer them a Second Chance at life. 1002 S. 14th St., Eight Flags Shopping Center, Fernandina Beach, 321-0022, nassauhumanesociety.com/secondchance.html.

ADOPTABLES

LISA

SLEEPY KITTY • I know I look a little grouchy in my photo, but that’s what happens when you wake me up from a nap! I’m the total tabby package, and I’d love to find a cuddle buddy who enjoys sleeping in as much as I do. Sound like you? Check out my profile at jaxhumane.org and swipe right! ST. AUGUSTINE HUMANE SOCIETY WELLNESS CLINIC • The community clinic is open 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Dec. 20 (and every Wednesday and Thursday, after Jan. 3) at 1665 Moultrie Rd., St. Augustine. The aim is to provide preventive care targeting families experiencing financial hardship, serving the medical needs of animals that otherwise would not receive care. MEMORIAL TILES • First Coast No More Homeless Pets offers the opportunity to honor the love and energy your pet gave you by purchasing a memorial tile, to be hung on the walls of FCNMHP’s Norwood Avenue clinic. You can personalize your tile with a message and a photo of the beloved pet that has died. Tiles are $100 each, are tax-deductible and funds go to support the work of FCNMHP. For details and the form to complete, go to fcnmhp.org. ADOPT AN ANIMAL • You can adopt a gorilla, a lemur, okapi or an Asian otter! Be an Honorary Zookeeper when you donate to the zoo, providing support for the care, housing and feeding of zoo animals. You get a certificate

ADOPTABLES

REGINA

A ROYAL POOCH • Did you know that Regina means ‘queen’ in Latin? Well, it does, and I’m ready to be the queen of your heart! I can be a little shy with strangers, but once I get to know you, my regal paw-sonality will shine through. You can meet me today at the Jacksonville Humane Society, located at 8464 Beach Blvd. of adoption, a mini plush animal, a photo and interesting facts about your adopted animal, depending on the level you choose. Order online at jacksonvillezoo.org, download order form (mail/fax it in), call 757-4463 ext. 114 or email members@jacksonvillezoo.org. And when you go all out, you get animal art created by … you guessed it! … a zoo animal! How awesome is that? KATZ 4 KEEPS ADOPTION DAYS • Adoption days for you to choose a new family member are 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Friday and Saturday, Dec. 22 and 23 and every Saturday and Sunday at 935B A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach, 834-3223, katz4keeps.org. Katz 4 Keeps seeks volunteers, ages 18 and older, to help with its cat-centric programs; email peggyhatfield63@comcast.com. _________________________________________ To list an event, send the name, time, date, location (complete street address, city), admission price, contact number/website to print, to mdryden@folioweekly.com

DECEMBER 20-26, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 41

FREEWILL ASTROLOGY

DALE RATERMANN’s Folio Weekly Crossword presented by

YUL BRYNNER, RING FINGERS, THE BIG THREE & GRAMMAR

Serving Excellence Since 1928 Member American Gem Society

San Marco 2044 San Marco Blvd. 398-9741

Ponte Vedra

THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA

330 A1A North 280-1202

Avondale 3617 St. Johns Ave. 388-5406

FOLIO WEEKLY CROSSWORD 1

20 24

54 57

ad letters 10 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 24 26 27 28 32 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 45

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DOWN 31 Clean a spill 32 A Beatle 33 Missouri campus town No. 1 Holiday flier Ex-holiday flier? Small amounts Movie SFX Discovery cry 10 Holiday flier 11 Bread spread 12 ___ Points

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42 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 20-26, 2017

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): It’s not unusual to see male celebrities shave their heads, like Bruce Willis, Dwayne Johnson, Seal, Tyrese Gibson and Vin Diesel. In the 20th century, being bareheaded was rare. One famous naked pate was actor Yul Brynner’s. By 30, he’d begun to go bald. In 1951, for his role as the King of Siam in the Broadway play The King and I, he decided to shave all his hair. From then on, the naked-headed look was his trademark in his successful acting career. So he capitalized on what many in his profession consider a liability. He built power and success embracing an apparent disadvantage. Practice your version of this strategy in 2018. The weeks ahead are a great time to begin.

35 Kind of oven

31 Tom Bush

ACROSS

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You’ll soon get a chance to glide into the frontier. Pack your bag of tricks. Bring gifts, too, in case you need to curry favor where rules are a bit loose. How sharp are your improvisational instincts? Be sure they’re in top shape. Are you willing to be spontaneous, deal with unpredictability and try impromptu experiments? It may sound like hard work, but it’s for a good cause. If you’re well-prepared wandering borderlands, you’ll score sweet secrets and magic cookies. Good news: The explorations will position you to take advantage of chances throughout 2018.

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Meninak Club dues Confident reply Attired Holiday tune Tom of The Dukes of Hazzard Deceptive ploys Tim Tebow, e.g. “I smell ___!” Writer Roberts Rick Scott’s no Big-screen name Unlucky Roman numeral Smoke City brand Snug state Thai money

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Art-film theater Mayport vessel Holiday flier Holiday fliers’ vehicle Sun and Bible Rocker Frank Keyboard key Sniffers Rx supply Creepy lake? Naughty’s opposite Ex-UN chief Annan Whale mom DDE foe

CANCER (June 21-July 22): In the Northern Hemisphere, where 88 percent of the world’s population lives, now’s a quiescent time for the natural world. There’s less sunlight and plants’ metabolisms slow as photosynthesis diminishes. Deciduous trees lose leaves, and even many evergreens approach dormancy. And yet amid this stasis, you’re beginning to flourish. Gradually at first, but with increasing urgency, you’re embarking on an unprecedented phase of growth. I see 2018 as your Year of Blossoming.

SOLUTION TO 12.13.17 PUZZLE S A C S

T R I O

R U S E

O R A L S

C R U D

H U G O

R A W D O U B A G A R E T R E S B I G D Y A L S U A L S A L M L E E I E E M I I N P T S I L L S D O L P H C A L Y T H E S

A R T S P E A K S O G R E

D A I E S L E H O L T V E B U G R E M A A T L N A C H E O L U B D U M B D A I U L I T E L Y A L

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Your life in the first half of 2018 will be like a psychological boot camp, to beef up your emotional intelligence. Here’s how to visualize future adventures: They’ll have a friendly nudge from the cosmos, pushing you to be energetic and ingenious, creating partnerships you want forever. As you do the interesting tests and riddles, look for glimpses of what daily experiences could be like in five years, if you start now deepening a commitment to love and collaboration.

F E D S

S E E P

O K R A

C O R A L

Y O U V E

K E Y S

B A I L

I N T O

V I E W

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): If you’ve had an unfulfilled curiosity about genealogy, ancestors or riddles of your past, 2018 will be a favorable time to investigate. Out-of-touch relatives will be easier to locate. Lost heirlooms, too. You may be able to track and use a neglected legacy. Even family secrets could leak into view, both the awkward and the charming kinds. If you think you have everything figured out about those you grew up with and the history of where you came from, you’re in for surprises. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Most of us see our ring fingers as the least important of digits. What are they good for? Our ancestors had a stronger relationship with the fourth finger. Folklore said a special vein connected that digit on the left hand directly to the heart. That’s why, traditionally, wedding rings are worn there. It may have been why pharmacists regarded fourth fingers as being better able to discern useful blends of herbs. It’s an apt metaphor for an important 2018 theme: A resource you’ve underestimated or neglected will be valuable, maybe even redefine your understanding of what’s truly valuable.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Fairy tale characters are often rewarded for acts of kindness. They may be given magical objects for protection, like invisibility cloaks or shoes that let them to flee trouble. Or blessings they receive may be life-enhancing, like enchanted cauldrons with a never-ending supply of delicious food, or musical instruments with the power to summon delightful playmates. A similar principle will be very active in your life in 2018. It’ll be easier and more natural to express kindness, sympathy and compassion. If you consistently capitalize on this predilection, life will readily provide resources. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Like all of us, you go through mediocre phases when you’re not functioning at peak efficiency. In 2018, you’ll experience fewer blah times. We’ll see a lot of you at your best. Even more than usual, you’ll be an interesting catalyst energizing and ripening collaborative projects. You’ll show why sweet bracing brightness needs deep dark depths, and vice-versa. You’ll help allies open doors they can’t open alone. We all thank you in advance! SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The blunt fact: You can’t be delivered from the old demoralizing pattern that’s repeated itself until you forgive yourself completely. You probably can’t move on to your life story’s next chapter until you compensate yourself for at least some of the unnecessary torment you’ve done to yourself. The good news: 2018 will be a great time to do these healings. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In 2018, one of your primary missions will be to practice what you preach, walk your talk, be ambitious and masterful in all ways a soulful human can and should be ambitious and masterful. Live up to your hype! Do what you’ve promised! Stop postponing your dreams! Fulfill your noble expectations! Don’t be shy about using exclamation points to express visions of what’s right and good and just! AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Years ago, when I started my horoscope writing career, my editor advised, “Always give priority to the Big Three. Romance, money and power are what people care about most.” After a few months, he was disgruntled to realize I wrote about how to cultivate psychological health and nourish spiritual aspirations as much as his Big Three. He would’ve replaced me if he’d been able to find another astrology writer whose spelling and grammar were as good as mine. But his edict traumatized me. Even today, I worry I’m not giving you enough help with the Big Three. Fortunately, it’s not relevant now, since I can sincerely say 2018 will bring you chances to be more powerful by working hard on psychological health, grow wealthier cultivating spiritual aspirations and generate more love being wise and ethical in that money and power quest. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): What binds you? What keeps you closed down, locked up? Ponder those questions. Once you get useful answers, the next step is to meditate how to undo the binds. Fantasize and brainstorm about specific actions to take to unlock and unclose yourself. This project will be excellent preparation for opportunities ahead. I’m happy to announce 2018 will be your personal Year of Liberation.

Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

NEWS OF THE WEIRD LET’S DO THIS ON BLANDING BOULEVARD!

Cai, a 28-year-old man in Lianyungang, Jiangsu Province, China, had time to consider traffic patterns waiting for lights to change on his daily commute. Too much time—he decided to take matters into his own hands on Sept. 27 and paint new traffic arrows on the roadway. A traffic camera caught it as Cai added a straight arrow to the existing leftturn and U-turn arrows. “I saw the straight lane was always packed with cars, while the turning left lane has a lot of space,” Cai told police. “So I thought changing the signs would make my commute smoother.” The BBC reports cops fined Cai about $151, and crews removed the new straight arrow from the road.

ALWAYS IN MOTION IS THE FUTURE

An 18th-century statue of the crucified Jesus removed for restoration from the church of St. Agueda in Burgo de Osma, Spain, held a surprise in a most unusual spot. As historians removed from Jesus’ back a section carved to look like cloth, they discovered two handwritten letters dated 1777 and signed by Joaquin Minguez, then-chaplain of the cathedral. Minguez details life in the community, including harvest reports and diseases, and tells about the sculpture’s artist, Manuel Bal. Historian Efren Arroyo told Spanish newspaper El Mundo it appears Minguez intended his letters to be a sort of time capsule. The original letters were sent to the Archbishop of Burgos for archiving, but copies were put in the statue to honor Minguez’s intent.

BAD BOYS GO TO JAIL

Timothy Colton, 28, is cooling off in Nevada’s Clark County Detention Center, charged with arson and the attempted murder of his 66-year-old mother. The Nov. 27 fight apparently started over a laundry dispute; North Las Vegas police said Colton got aggressive and threatened to kill Mom and burn the house down. Fox News reports Colton set fire to the front door and then ran to hide under a car in a nearby parking lot, where cops found him. Police said he was “kicking the back seat door and hitting his

Folio Weekly helps you connect with the paramour of your dreams. Go to folioweekly.com/i-saw-u.html, fill out the FREE form correctly (40 words or fewer, dammit) by 5 p.m. Friday (for the next Wednesday’s FW) – next stop: Bliss!

head on the plastic partition between the front and rear seats” in the patrol car. He’s held on $100,000 bail.

SHE’S GETTING COAL

A mall Santa working the weekend shift in late November got more than his job description called for at Dufferin Mall in Toronto, when an unnamed woman unloaded a sleigh-full of obscenities on him, saying, “Do you have a sleigh? No? ... You’re not magic! You’re not even real! I heard about it when I was a young kid!” A bystander got the tirade on cellphone video, reported the New York Post; true to his spirit, Santa tried to not engage with the elf-hater. A mall spokesperson said the woman left without further incident. St. Nick kept calm and hoho-ho’ed on.

WHEN YA GOTTA GO ...

Nemy Bautista of Sacramento won’t be posting a five-star review to Amazon this holiday season after two alarming experiences. On Nov. 28, Bautista came home to find a pile of what he thought was dog poo at the end of his driveway. After reviewing his security camera footage, he saw the poop perp was in fact a contract delivery driver for Amazon, driving a U-Haul truck. Bautista watched as the female driver squatted by the side of the truck, partly concealed by the open door, and left her mark. Bautista called Amazon to complain; a supervisor came hours later to bag the evidence.

GET A ROOM OR, BETTER YET, A CAR

Faye Preston of Hull, Yorkshire, England, loves her neighborhood, even the homeless who ask for change or, in Preston’s case, make love in her driveway. She went outisde one November night to smoke a cigarette and saw a couple under a blanket on the ground, and let them be. But when she went out the next morning, “They were having actual sex on my driveway. The movement going on under the cover was unmistakable,” Preston wrote in the Hull Daily Mail. She worried about running over them, so she called police, who removed them. weirdnewstips@amuniversal.com

DEC. 21 is NATIONAL FLASHLIGHT DAY and NATIONAL LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE DAY! So, put those together, break out the halogen, channel your inner Stuart Smalley and start walkin’ on sunshine. The person guaranteed to light up your life is somewhere waiting in the dark! The dreary FW editorial staff will illuminate your paramour.

So seek that spark: Go to folioweekly.com/i-saw-u.html and: One:

Write a five-word headline so the person recalls that starstruck moment, like: “ISU looking adorbs at Nights of Lights.” Two: Describe the person, like, “You: Green glasses, glow sticks, perpetual grin.” Three: Describe yourself, like, “Me: Blue glasses, keychain flashlight, huge torch for you.” Four: Describe the moment, like, “We held hands by Flagler College, but got separated by a runaway horsedrawn carriage. I’ll keep the flame alive until you come my way again.” Five: Meet, fall in love, reserve a campground at Lake Cherful.* No names, emails, websites, etc. And HEY, it’s 40 words or fewer. Get a love life with Folio Weekly ISUs! CROOKED BOW-TIE You: Dark hair, green-eyed beauty, bow-tie; gave a shot, stood there, got my eye; asked to sit by me. Me: Clean-cut, flannel shirt, skinny jeans; fixed bow-tie. You had my heart then; still have it now; miss you daily. When: Jan. 1, 2015. Where: King Street PP. #1684-1220 BEAUTIFUL DRESS, STOCKINGS You: In cute dress, with bow pattern, black cute-patterned stockings. I sat two tables from you and noticed you walk by me to sit down. We briefly noticed each other as I walked out. When: Dec. 7. Where: JTB Chicken Salad Chick. #1683-1213 AIRPORT CUTIE You: Dark hair, slim, black shirt, gray pants, Nixon backpack. Me: Curvy, curly short hair, leggings, leather backpack. Went to Cali same day; back same day. Wanted convo; didn’t see you. Captivating aura. Who/where are you? Don’t go! When: Nov. 15. Where: Jax Intl. Airport. #1682-1206 IN PURGATORY WITHOUT YOU You: Working D&B’s counter; took time to find me a cool card. Me: Wearing Purgatory Co. shirt; agreed Purgatory’s a strange name for beautiful place. I’d love to get lost in your eyes once more. When: Nov. 19. Where: Dave & Buster’s. #1681-1222 HAGAR CONCERT ENCOUNTER We met at Sammy Hagar, talked; you and bro came over. Looked for you again, didn’t find. Tried to find at Jags game; couldn’t. Meet sometime? I’d like that. My name starts with M; yours with T. When: Nov. 11. Where: St. Augustine Amphitheatre. #1680-1122 I THINK WE’RE ALONE NOW Me: Playing guitar, singing at Super Food. You: Entered alone, said you’d stay for one song, asked for my card, last name. I played “I Think We’re Alone Now.” I’m on Facebook. Should’ve asked your number. When: Nov. 1. Where: Super Food & Brew, Downtown. #1679-1108 MAN IN UNIFORM AT TARGET You: In Navy uniform, buying bleach at self-checkout. Me: Laughing at orange makeup with elderly mom. ISU in parking lot, new black Ram. Severely regret not saying hello. This is worth trying. When: Oct. 31. Where: Target, Beach & Hodges. #1678-1108 SEEKING MY “WOOD” ISU bum a smoke after Florida-Georgia. Noticed your sad eyes, New Balances, tube socks. We talked. You: Frat boy, pleated shorts; name ends in “wood.” Me: blonde, dirty martini, looking for love in all the

wrong places. When: Oct. 29. Where: Mellow Mushroom Avondale. #1677-1108 NURSE ME TO HEALTH You: Misplaced duck living in the inky waters of gator land. Me: Furry, educated, feral. Told me how you left your true love back home. I’d let you hold the leash if we go on walks. When: Oct. 10. Where: Aardwolf Brewery. #1676-1108 HEY WHOOPING COUGH You: Ryan Gosling has nothing on you, esp when it comes to good advice. You said try Robitussin–I’d rather try you. Me: Getting over a cold, hope I didn’t ruin your movie. Meet for “coughee” sometime? When: Oct. 6. Where: “Blade Runner,” Sun-Ray. #1675-1011 I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU You: Walk your dog near my bush most nights. Thick guy, short legs I’d love to gnaw. Me: Watching you for months. Tried popping out to say hi last week, but I scared you. Happens sometimes. When: Oct. 3. Where: Ortega. #1673-1011 THINGS I’D LIKE TO DO With you. Take you into the woods. No sleeping bag, no tent. Want to lie under the stars and watch a meteor shower while we talk about nothing and everything. And wait for the rain. When: Aug. 26. Where: Shantytown. #1672-1004 YOU LOVE ART, MUSIC, NATURE I like slow cooking, good people. Want to stay up all night, play Nintendo, eat junk food, hike outside the city at sunrise; then be too busy to see you for a while. Or fish. When: Lomax Street. Where: June 11, 2010. #1671-1004 LIGHTNING STRIKE AT MARKET You: Gorgeous brunette, tank top, camo pants, heels, shopping with young son on Saturday. Butcher made you laugh. Me: Serious, cop-looking guy trying to make eye contact. I’d love to shop with you. When: Sept. 16. Where: Earth Fare, Atlantic Blvd. #1670-0920 HURRICANE IRMA COLD BREW In line at Publix stocking up for Irma; you noticed my organic, dark roast cold brew. It piqued your interest, you wanted it, so I gave it to you. But you piqued my interest ... When: Sept. 5. Where: Riverside Publix. #1669-0920 HOME DEPOT RETURN LINE CUTIE You: Dark hair, great smile. Me: Blonde, special order counter with friend. A gentleman, you let us go first. We made eye contact, you smiled at me as I left. Meet for drinks? When: Aug. 31. Where: Southside Home Depot. #1668-0906

*or any other appropriate site at which folks can engage in a civil union or marriage or whatever … DECEMBER 20-26, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 43

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FRANKINCENSE & MYRRH THE HOLIDAY SEASON IS UPON US, AND folks all around the world are noting final additions to their wish lists and making gift selections for special people in their lives. Some of these will be even more interesting than usual for Florida residents, as 2017 marks the first Christmas since medical marijuana was enshrined in the law. (The amendment was passed in November 2016, but implementation didn’t begin until last January.) This means that a lot of boys and girls (well, men and women) will be getting marijuana-themed gifts this holiday season. A few suggestions: The medical marijuana laws don’t currently cover the cannabis flower itself, but that’s no reason to limit your options. For the record, giving actual weed for Christmas is a terrible idea, though surely anyone who’d complain to police has probably already been allocated their very own shiny lump of coal. Consider instead my favorite gift idea: a grinder, specifically the sweet line of Star Wars-themed grinders available all over the internet. Varieties include Darth Vader and the Millennium Falcon, but let’s keep it real: The only acceptable option is the Death Star or, if you insist on being a smartass, BB-8. These are not officially licensed products, but I don’t think you care, and neither will the stoner geeks who find one in their stockings. A friend sent me a GroupOn last week offering

the $60 grinders at the low, low price of $9.99; that deal has since expired, but you can still find more. Best part? Whoever you give it to will probably cover your ticket for a Christmas Day screening of The Last Jedi, and you know that pre-game session is guaranteed to be epic. While you’re thinking about what else to put under the tree, consider the tree itself. Walmart.com was selling trees made of pot leaves for $249. Unfortunately, it’s artificial, or else your shopping would be over in one fell swoop. Turns out that the flood of weirdos trying to order them led to a backlash, and Walmart pulled the item from stock. What do you do with a surplus of fake pot-leaf Christmas trees? Quite a surprise is awaiting someone at the landfill, methinks. Of course, if you want to go whole-hog gift-wise, consider taking that special someone out for an appointment to get their own medical marijuana card—the gift that keeps on giving, at least as long as the federal government permits it. The evergrowing number of dispensaries and retail outlets in the region offers a vast, diverse array of products and accessories for any patients or would-be patients in your life. And if you can’t decide, don’t fret: They all offer gift certificates! Shelton Hull mail@folioweekly.com

DECEMBER 20-26, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 45

46 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 20-26, 2017

FOLIO VOICES : BACKPAGE EDITORIAL

TRUMP VS

★ THE ★

MEDIA Guess who’s WINNING?

FAMED LIBERAL PUNDIT MICHAEL MOORE STARS IN a solo show on Broadway, The Terms of My Surrender. Though Moore was one of the few who had predicted Donald Trump’s election, he asks his audience to repeat the mantra “Donald Trump outsmarted us all.” Trump certainly fooled most of us and managed to get elected with fewer popular votes than his opponent had garnered. He did not really win the presidency, to his great dismay, but was able to get elected due to the antiquated rules of the Electoral College and perhaps the influence of Russian computer hackers. Almost every day, Trump bashes the media as “fake” and “hostile” in his tweets and public appearances. It energizes his most rabid followers, his base. Objective observers, of course, do not agree with his condemnations, but in his battles with print and electronic media, Trump clearly wins. He continues to be a master manipulator of the media. In this area, he is either truly brilliant or simply extraordinarily lucky. During the presidential primary debates and the campaign, Trump would say something outrageous or patently untrue and the media would always duly report it. The standard 22 minutes of evening news on the ABC, CBS and NBC networks dutifully would spend about half of their broadcasts reporting Trump’s comments of the day. Thus, he received extraordinarily massive amounts of valuable TV time and publicity for free. This left most of his ample campaign funds available for advertising elsewhere and to pay for scripted rallies in key states. It took a very long time for network anchors to be brave enough to use the word “lie” when referring to Trump’s prevarications. They continually expressed every clichéd euphemism known to linguists and then invented new softening phrases to hide the harsh reality of his plain, clear lies. For example, they referred to Trump’s lying as “mistaken statements,” “played loose with the facts,” “not supported by the evidence,” “no data to support that,” “misstated the truth,” “does not square with reality,” and on and on. Adding to the smokescreen, the White House press secretaries and his administration spokespersons continue the charade. Trump’s first impulse is to lie. He often lies in consecutive sentences or within the same sentence. Saying two opposites makes one of

them a lie. In contrast, Trump’s greatest truth was stated during the campaign, when he said he could shoot someone in the middle of Fifth Avenue in Manhattan and he would not lose any votes. From his base supporters, that statement is certainly believable and likely true. A recent Backpage Editorial in these pages labeled President Trump as an “oddity” who stomps around angrily “like a petulant toddler.” These descriptions, while accurate, understate his psychopathology in extremis. Psychiatrists and psychologists have diagnosed Donald Trump from afar. The most common diagnostic label they have applied has been “narcissistic personality disorder.” His uncontrolled lying, his unquenchable thirst for admiration, his demand of unwavering loyalty from government officials he has appointed to his family, friends and voters, his over-the-top self-aggrandizing remarks, his lack of empathy or sympathy, his humorlessness, his shifting of attitudes and political positions, his begrudging the successes and achievements of others, his disparagement of weaknesses in others, thus inflating his own fragile self-esteem (for example, his public humiliation of Attorney General Jeff Sessions), his own sense of entitlement (augmented by his holding the most powerful office in the world), snobbishness and patronizing attitudes, and many more similar personality characteristics. Donald Trump is not psychotic. Despite his ongoing outlandish comments and being totally unaware of world affairs, denial of scientific findings, and lack of much knowledge of how government works or even the job requirements of a U.S. President, he is not mentally ill in the legal sense of the term. His social and vocational functioning are obviously very much impaired as a result of his narcissistic, near-total focus on his own image and status. I contend that most Trump voters were unaware of these personal deficiencies when they made their election choice at the time. His masterful manipulation of the media gave him an enormous advantage over his many primary opponents and his one general election foe. Louis R. Franzini mail@folioweekly.com _____________________________________ Dr. Franzini is a clinical psychologist, speaker and writer. His new book is Just Kidding: Using Humor Effectively. DECEMBER 20-26, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 47