Stroking Midnight by Folio Weekly

2 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 26, 2018-JANUARY 1, 2019

THIS WEEK // 12.26.18-1.1.19 // VOL. 32 ISSUE 39 14

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STROKING MIDNIGHT

Our picks for New Year’s Eve STORY BY SHELTON HULL

COLUMNS + CALENDARS 4

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THE MAIL SWEET, SWEET HEART

RE.: “Country Rock,” by Jason Mellard, Dec. 12 BEST REVIEW/ESSAY ON SWEETHEART OF THE RODEO tour with Roger McGuinn, Chris Hillman and Marty Stuart in Folio Weekly. Paul Jones via Twitter

CORCORAN IS NOT ACCEPTABLE

IN A RECENT MIAMI HERALD EDITORIAL, GOVERNORelect Ron DeSantis was criticized for the choice of former House speaker, Richard Corcoran, to head the Florida Department of Education. The editorial analogized Corcoran’s appointment as “putting a charter school fox in charge of the Florida Department of Education hen house.” While in the Florida house, Corcoran championed HB 7069. A recent lawsuit to block the implementation of the legislation described it as “the single largest attack to dismantle public schools.” Corcoran favored legislation providing charters with easier access to public education construction money. What a coincidence that Corcoran’s wife founded a charter school that wanted to expand. HB 7069 made funding available. Even though 90 percent of Florida students are educated in public schools, DeSantis makes clear that his administration intends to challenge the funding and support of traditional public schools. The Orlando Sun Sentinel predicts that Corcoran would be Florida’s “most disruptive” education commissioner in our state history. At a time in which many states are moving to boost public schools, DeSantis and Corcoran appear to be embracing charter schools. “A real reformer would try to improve the system without tearing it down.” Karen Adler via email

BORDER OUTRAGE

I AM EXPECTING A DEFINITIVE AND COLOSSAL ACTION plan from our legislators Senator Marco Rubio, Senator Bill Nelson and Senator-elect Rick Scott to accomplish correction and punishment of the individuals at the Border Patrol who are responsible for the death of the 7-year-old Guatemalan girl Jakelin Caal Maquin. After neglecting the child for several hours and then hiding the incident/SNAFU for a week, Border Patrol is now suddenly and energetically throwing up chaff to deflect any responsibility. Excuses: “She died–but we got her to revive [so we are cool and now blameless]. But then she died [but our hands are clean].” Or, “But the Border Patrol is overwhelmed.” Since July, we have watched children locked up in cages with aluminum foil blankets and terrifying

guards as their environment. Elected officials approaching the gates of these gulags are being told to, effectively, “Go away,” by a tinny voice on a squawk box when they demand access. This savaged Guatemalan family, only seeking asylum, deserves a gargantuan settlement for the inhumane handling of their child’s life. And that settlement would come from our taxes. The perpetrators must be held accountable and punished. I expect a definitive game plan from our elected representatives as to how they will fix this and impose punishment. Indifferently allowing children to die because they are immigrants or not the right color or unimportant or illegal or underprivileged or too much to handle at the moment–this is the kind of repugnant behavior that any politician should be eager to excoriate. Jeffrey Sickles via email

OIL & POLICY

PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP’S SYRIAN PULLOUT IS prompted by Kurdistan’s control of oil. The oil reserves under Kurdistan’s control are in Iran, Iraq, Syria and Turkey, and the fight for ownership explains our interest there as well as Russia’s. Why did America leave Afghanistan and resume war in Iraq? Oil! Why was Exxon CEO Rex Tillerson made Secretary of State? Oil! Why did we intervene in Iraq under George H.W. Bush’s administration? Oil! Why are we denying climate change and eviscerating EPA clean-air-and-water regulations? Oil! The money and influence generated by oil refining is enormous and tragic. The industries affected are legion. Automobiles, plastics, airlines all rely on energy. While there are alternatives, oil interests continue to stand in the way of developing safe energy systems (and they manage to avoid accountability in the bargain). The health effects are global, and the planet’s overheating can be explained by a series of self-serving policy decisions. As long as cash is king, as long as navel-gazing and plausible deniability are used as shields, we will move toward extinction. Yes, extinction sounds injudicious, but the global growth and prosperity we export through TV, movies, social media and our military involvements are at odds with clean water and air, adequate food and disease control. Oil remains at the center, even though solar, geothermal, wave, wind, nuclear and other sources would alleviate this climate calamity and end the entrenched energy oligarchy. Gilbert Mayers via email

LEND YOUR VOICE If you’d like to respond to something you read in the pages of Folio Weekly, please send an email (with your name, address, and phone number for verification purposes only) to mail@folioweekly.com, visit us at folioweekly.com or follow us on Twitter or Facebook (@folioweekly) and join the conversation.

BRICKBATS + BOUQUETS BOUQUETS TO THE DOWNTOWN INVESTMENT AUTHORITY At its Dec. 12 meeting, the august body rejected the proposal to build a new–and entirely unnecessary– convention center on the site of the old Duval County Courthouse. This is, however, a provisional plaudit, pending further developments. The DIA still has plenty of time to turn this bouquet into a brickbat. BRICKBATS TO ST. AUGUSTINE BEACH CITY COMMISSION Commissioners in the seaside village are moving forward with plans to charge visitors $2.50 an hour for parking via a smartphone app. City residents and their neighbors from St. Augustine will receive discounts, but locals are still decrying the cash grab. Some predict that, when implemented in April, the system will clog residential streets with tourists seeking free parking. BOUQUETS TO BETSY LOVETT On Dec. 11, the energetic 88-year-old Jacksonville philanthropist hosted a Hightower Emerging Leaders Fellowship reception at her Ortega home. The program allows young professionals to partner with business leaders and gain experience and exposure in the process. DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? HOW ABOUT A BRICKBAT? Send submissions to mail@folioweekly.com; 50 word maximum, concerning a person, place, or topic of local interest. 4 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 26, 2018-JANUARY 1, 2019

FOLIO VOICES : POLITICS New Ag Commish CHANGED THE GAME

FRIED

COUNTRY SINCE THIS IS THE LAST FOLIO WEEKLY ‘POLITICS’ column of 2018, it’s worthwhile to look back on the year that was. It was a year when many things we “knew” going in didn’t exactly come to pass. At the start of the year, for example, the smart money was on Gwen Graham hugging her way to the Democratic nomination for governor and Adam Putnam glad-handing the base to get the GOP nod. That would lead, according to the pundits, to a classic Florida nailbiter election. Those pundits got the last part right, at least. A funny thing happened to Graham: She was the only Dem to get hit with real oppo from inside the tent. The Collective PAC went after her on behalf of eventual nominee Andrew Gillum. Then Jeff Greene, who seemed to enter the race solely to drive up the unfavorables of both Graham and former Miami Beach mayor Philip Levine, dropped some more on her. All the while, Gillum’s polling numbers were a footnote, as he expanded the universe of voters without dealing with reportage on more than a fraction of the oppo that could have been out there, had he been taken seriously. Gillum came through, came very close to winning the whole thing, and now he looks likely to be on the national stage for the next two years, as the Dems decide what their future looks like. Meanwhile, Putnam got pole-axed by Ron DeSantis. Putnam had in-state connections from Withlacoochee to Nunyabizness; DeSantis had Donald Trump and a Fox News green room. Turns out the person who Knew Florida Best was a casino hustler from Queens. DeSantis’ campaign was a ragged operation until local lobbyist Susie Wiles saved him (just as we predicted when she took over soon after the primary). The candidate avoided mistakes, and Gillum drowned in a sea of innuendo regarding municipal corruption in Tallahassee. Though others were indicted last week, Gillum ultimately paid the biggest price. He would’ve been governor if the FBI hadn’t shivved him. Then again, he would’ve been governor if he’d figured out a better way to message what was actually happening. But he had to walk a very thin line as far as presentation. He needed, in baseball terms, to throw a perfect game. He was good through eight innings, but he couldn’t close. And it seems he might have known that all along. Gillum, in defeat, and DeSantis, in victory, both ran transformational campaigns, but not for the reasons they might want to think. Both were heavily nationalized, both delivering red meat to

OVERSET the base with a wink and a nod, always conscious of the gap between the theater of the stump and the tedium of the policy slog. The mind-numbing minutiae that so often defines a given legislative session was utterly lost in a discussion of monkey-thisup and Hamilton and all the other minidramas that characterized this sh*tshow of a campaign season. Ultimately, however, the most transformational candidate—and the biggest potential breakout star of the 2018 season—is the only Democrat who won statewide: Agriculture Commissioner Nikki Fried. Fried is uniquely positioned to be a voice for Florida’s most underutilized crop: in-state, homegrown cannabis. The vertical integration model upon which the current industry is predicated ensures that leaders in this market, such as Surterra and Trulieve, have the technical chops and the capital to compete globally. As we move beyond reefer-madness paradigms and look at the industry’s capital opportunities, especially in a state with an aging population and in a regulatory market clearly keening toward rescheduling on a federal level, Fried’s understanding of the product and the industry means Florida businesses can compete with those in states that enjoy more entrenched industries. Florida agriculture faces real threats. Mexican produce floods stores in our state, and our citrus industry continues to face declines in market share. Fried is going to have to find a way, somehow, to protect shelf space for what we raise here. And for now, she’s stuck with concealed weapons permits in her office, and the “consumer services” side of the job: two things that Putnam had issues regulating, especially as he moved closer toward running for governor. Fried will figure in many discussions on what’s next. Does she run for governor in 2022? Or for the U.S. Senate against Marco Rubio? In four years, the cannabis issue should be solved here in the Sunshine State, whether by the legislature or a constitutional amendment (and the inevitable attempt to neuter it with implementing legislation). She’s the one to watch right now, in terms of where the party is going and should go. For my money, Nikki Fried was the politician of the year. It would not be at all surprising to see a few other young, smart pragmatists emerge to run statewide using her model, taking the lead and building a rep on an issue that sorely needed a champion, as cannabis did. A.G. Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com @aggancarski DECEMBER 26, 2018-JANUARY 1, 2019 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5

ARTS & LETTERS

FRANK STELLA UNBOUND: LITERATURE & PRINTMAKING

This major exhibition showcases almost 40 prints created by the pioneering contemporary painter Stella. The works are selected from four separate series, each one inspired by a different work of world literature, from Italian folk tales to Hebrew Passover WED tunes. Until Jan. 13, MOCA Jacksonville, Downtown, mocajacksonville.unf.edu.

© FRANK STELLA, The Monkey Rope, 1993. Lithograph, etching, aquatint, relief, engraving and screen print on white TGL handmade paper, 23 3/4 x 68 1/4 inches. Collection of Preston H. Haskell. © 2018 Frank Stella / Artists Rights Society (ARS), New York

OUR PICKS

THIS WEEK’S BIGGEST & BEST HAPPENINGS

TAKE THE PLUNGE WAVEMASTERS

FRI

POLAR PLUNGE

REGGAE & MORE PASSAFIRE Talk about fusion! This Savannah-based reggae quartet

celebrates more than 15 years of music-making with an eclectic set of prog rock, jam band, indie pop and island-inspired tunes, all drawn from their six studio albums. One-man-band Lee “El Dub” Walsh opens. 7 p.m. Friday, Dec. 28, Surfer the Bar, Jax Beach, surferthebar.com, $15.

What better way to ring in the New Year than by immersing yourself in the frigid waters of the Atlantic Ocean? Hosted by Jax Beach surf club The WaveMasters Society, this event has been a beach tradition since 1990. 9 a.m. Tuesday, Jan. 1, in front of SeaWalk stage, Jax Beach, wavemasters.org, free.

TUE

FRI

YEAR-END SLAM ANCIENT CITY POETS Every month,

St. Augustine’s poetry community gathers for a reading that bridges the divide between literary professional and weekend wordsmith. This final reading of 2018 is, as always, open to all and sundry. Most poets don’t need a prompt, but if you do, it’s “gifts of the season.” 3 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 30, Corazon Cinema & Café, St. Augustine, corazoncinemaandcafe.com, free.

THROWING VOICES

SUN

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TERRY FATOR The Texan ventriloquist became a household name in 2007, after winning a million-

dollar prize on America’s Got Talent. Fator went on to dominate Las Vegas with a comedy show featuring more than a dozen puppets and several musical numbers. His signature character is the singing turtle Winston. 8 p.m. Dec. 28, The Florida Theatre, Downtown, floridatheatre.com, $39.50-$79.50.

DECEMBER 26, 2018-JANUARY 1, 2019 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7

NEWS BITES TOP HEADLINES FROM NE FLORIDA NEWSMEDIA

ST. AUGUSTINE RECORD ANTI-VAX & TIN FOIL HATS

Conspiracy theories are all the rage these days. The most successful ones play to both the public’s fear (especially if children are involved) and our god-given right to do whatever the hell we want—and damn the torpedoes! One unfortunate result has been the rise of the antivaccination movement. At best, anti-vaxxers say, vaccines produce unwanted side effects; at worst, they’re part of a global conspiracy to control the world’s population. Duh! The St. Augustine Record’s Colleen Jones recently revealed that (surprise!) St. Johns County children are among Florida’s most under-vaccinated. “Though there have been no cases of the infectious disease reported at St. Johns County schools,” Jones wrote, “the district does have a fair number of schoolchildren who have not been immunized. St. Johns County ranks eighth of 67 counties in Florida for the highest number of exemptions, with just less than 4 percent of the student population not vaccinated, according to the Department of Health.”

The average for the state of Florida is 2.4 percent, and it goes up from there. At the top of the list, with a whopping 7 percent unvaccinated, is Sarasota County. Unsurprisingly, that school system is now facing a measles outbreak, prompting concerns for other anti-vax hotspots. Why vaccinate? Well, if the answer weren’t obvious, Jones cited Kyle Dresback, associate superintendent for student support services, who said, “The reason you want vaccinations in schools is because you have a large group of

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students in proximity to each other and immunization is the best chance you have to protect them. However, as a parent, I do understand the concern about what you’re putting into kids’ bodies.” The school official ultimately concluded that “ ‘all the research we’ve seen’ appears to debunk any lingering concerns about a correlation between vaccinations and autism.” But, then again, that’s exactly what the satanic junta of shape-shifting lizard men who dominate the world order behind the scenes want you to think!

FLORIDA TIMES-UNION A SPECIAL PLACE IN HELL

We don’t like people who mistreat animals. Period. But some cases are so outrageous that Dante should have added another circle in his Inferno just for these perpetrators. Some criminals are so callous that John Walsh needs to create a new real-crime television series to call them out. Until that day, we have The Florida Times-Union. In a Dec. 20 story, Dan Scanlan reported that, “[n]ine people, including a married couple from Callahan, have been arrested after a year-long investigation into the illegal baiting, taking and molestation of black bears for commercial purposes, according to the Attorney General’s Office and Florida Fish & Wildlife Conservation Commission.” That’s right, a year-long investigation. This wasn’t a one-and-done act of animal abuse. These nine individuals— including Nassau County residents Charles Luther Scarbrough III and Hannah Weiner Scarbrough—engaged in a pattern of (unl)awful behavior. They “went to sites in Baker, Flagler, Marion and Union counties and lured bears with drums of dog food, doughnuts, pastries and peanut butter, then used large packs of dogs to chase and maul the animals.” They also posted videos of their crimes on social media. Now it’s time for them to face the consequences. All suspects “face charges including animal cruelty, animal baiting, conspiracy to commit racketeering and unlawful taking of black bears,” according to the Florida Attorney General. In the interest of naming and shaming, Scanlan’s story ends with a handy list of the Scarbroughs’ coconspirators. “ Also arrested were: Lake Butler residents William Tyler Wood, 29, Troy Travis Starling, 45, Haley Reddish, 25, and Dustin Reddish, 25; Mark Lindsey, 27, of Moultrie, Ga.; Christopher Elliot Haun, 42, of Ormond Beach; and William Edward Landrum, 39, of Millboro, Va.” Georgio Valentino mail@folioweekly.com

MAGIC & WONDERMENT Contemporary C ontemporary c circus ircus k keeps eeps the BEST OF TRADITION and drops the baggage

ircus is a loaded word. It makes some folks nostalgic as they reminisce about lovely ladies riding atop elephants, daring lion tamers tempting fate with the king of beasts and high-flying acrobats defying gravity. For others, the word conjures dark images of animal abuse. In 2017, general public unease and the directed action of animal advocacy groups contributed to the end of the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus’ 146-year-run.

Yet old ideas can become new again through artful re-imagination. Enter Kevin Venardos. The former Ringling Bros. ringmaster imagined a new form of circus, somewhere between Cirque de Soleil and a Broadway musical. With his larger-than-life personality and a whole lot of determination, he launched Venardos Circus in 2014. His next-generation spectacle challenges tradition while capturing the retro charm of the classic circus. It’s a revitalized concept for the modern audience. The formula is fairly simple, really: keep the old-fashioned big top tent and traveling revue of talented performers, but ditch the animals. Make it intimately personal and classy, too. Venardos threw caution to the wind and—despite his mother’s insistence that he get a “real job”—he made good on his prediction that audiences around the country would show up. “The Venardos Circus is a Broadway show inside a magic circus tent,” the ringmaster explains in an interview with Folio Weekly. “We have incredible, world-class circus artists and production numbers that tell our story of following our dreams.” A modern combination of musical theater and acrobatics, the show unfolds so close that guests can’t help but feel like they are part of the action. There are aerialists and acrobats, trapeze artists and silk and lyra-hoop performers. Sideshows include a teeterboard act, a flea circus and a cross-bow act to keep things interesting. “There’s plentiful comedy, hula hoops, magical production numbers, marvels, wonderment, unicorns and glitter,” Venardos laughs. But building a circus from the ground up—and making it both ethical and successful—is serious business.

story by JENNIFER MELVILLE DECEMBER 26, 2018-JANUARY 1, 2019 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9

“I’m certainly following my heart and I’m making the thing I believe in, although I’m not trying to make a political statement,” he continues. “Above all, I’m trying to find a way to let magic and wonder live in 2018, because the audience is really the most important part of the equation. I want to give them a wonderful time. I want to take them away from their troubles. And if I get stuck in a way of thinking that tradition is a way things need to be done simply because it’s the way things have always been done, then I would be a very foolish circus producer indeed.” Venardos insists he had no design to run away and join the circus when he was a boy. In fact, it happened quite by chance. He was just a New Jersey kid with a passion for musical theater. The fledgling actor hoped to make it big on Broadway, but instead, at 22, he became the youngest ringmaster in Barnum & Bailey’s history. “I was in New York auditioning for everything people would pay me money to do,” he recalls. “I happened upon this really incredible adventure by just chance or fate.” He spent the following years crisscrossing the United States on the world’s largest circus train and having the time of his life. In one of his most powerful memories, he rides across New York City astride an elephant. That was when the circus came to Madison Square Garden in 2002. Venardos recalls that he and his entourage had a New York Police Department escort due to heightened security following 9/11. “I remember having this whole incredible brigade of NYPD in front of us, behind us, and on either side … and I rode the lead elephant across the island. For that time and

in that moment, I was just so proud. I saw there were thousands of people on either side of 34th Street as we crossed the island. There were families with kids on their shoulders and office buildings on either side with flashbulbs going off and me, with this top hat and tails, this little singing and dancing kid from New Jersey. It was an incredible sight.” Venardos’ experiences as a ringmaster provided him with more than great memories— they taught him that he could be an advocate for performers. Indeed, his position gave him a platform to do so. By 2012, he was ready for a change. While he didn’t know what it would look like, Venardos wanted more control over his future. “Those experiences at Ringling put something in my belly and are a big reason why we are doing something today,” Venardos says. “I don’t like bullies, and one of the bullies of life are those voices and forces that press on you, making you feel like you have to get that kind of safe job, do that thing that everyone might expect. I don’t like being told what to do. When life starts having too much control over that, I’m like a bull scraping the ground. I’ve got to move on. I know that these qualities probably make

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for a temperamental person, but I’ve found along the way that if everyone was happy with everything I did, I’m probably not doing anything. I’m not accomplishing anything. I wouldn’t be standing for anything. You’re going to encounter people who disagree with you no matter what road you take.” With rented equipment and big dreams, Venardos and a few friends put on a tiny outdoor performance at the Los Angeles County Fair in 2014. The audience loved it. He then pitched the idea to other fairs and festivals, and the concept of the Venardos Circus began to take shape. Over the next year-and-a-half, the circus visited 20 cities. They had no money. Venardos had to hire new performers and produce a new show in each place. It was risky and should never have succeeded. Yet, somehow, it did. In 2019, the Venardos Circus will perform eight shows a week for 40 weeks in 20 to 25 cities. Venardos has a regular cast of performers and fans across the nation. Yet he hasn’t finished dreaming yet. “Dreams are made of the stuff that you actually do and the world you really are born into, more than just what you concoct in your brain,” Venardos says. “There are many forces that make dreams come to be.” These days, the big top impresario is dreaming of an audience of millions. And he thinks the dream can become reality. “That’s going to be something that will take me years to do, although with the power of technology and the way that people are following our story online, and especially the ones who see it live, I don’t think we’re too far away from that lofty goal. Everything is possible.” The Venardos Circus kicks off the 2019 season here in Northeast Florida, at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, with new acts and production numbers. They’ve been here before, and the connection was so immediate that Venardos is considering making St. Augustine his home base. “Florida’s been a home for the circus in many ways for different companies,” he says.

“There’s a lot of reasons why you’d want to winter here. It’s very possible that we’re going to have roots here at some point.” The circus experience starts from the moment that spectators spot the red-andwhite, 300-person capacity big top. For an hour before show time, performers interact with the crowd, invite kids onstage to learn circus tricks, and happily pose for selfies with guests. “When people arrive at the tent, they’re actually meeting the performers,” Venardos explains. “They’re the ones taking the tickets, they’re working in the front of the house, they’re working concessions, they perform, and they’re the ones who put up the tent and take it down. You really get to meet these people and see who they are. And then when you see the show, there’s this kind of emotional context.” Once the performance begins, Venardos says, the audience is transported: “I believe [guests will] be taken away on an adventure that’s going to both bring them back to a simpler time where anything was possible and also remind them that that time still exists today. When they leave that tent, they’ll be reminded of just how powerful they are.” At the end of the day, Venardos counts on the human connection to gratify his guests. “It’s awesome and it’s real,” he continues, “Apart from the magic that they’ll experience, I think that they should take pride in knowing that their heart and their support has caused something like this to live against all odds.” The intimacy, warmth and candor of this underdog success story are what make Venardos Circus so potent. Performers are gainfully paid and well-treated. There are no animals. In our special-effects world, there’s something truly refreshing about the simplicity of it all. Venardos promises folks who visit a show to remember and hopes to make his circus an annual tradition for a new generation of Northeast Floridians. Jennifer Melville mail@folioweekly.com

DECEMBER 26, 2018-JANUARY 1, 2019 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11

OPPORTUNITY

BLOCKED Low-income youth face barriers to UPWARD MOBILITY

little more than 200,000 minors live in Duval County today. Of those, roughly 50,000 grapple with penury, an affliction that many of them will never be able to escape. Fewer than 5,000 of these low-income children will reach the top quintuple of wealth. Only a few dozen—if that—could conceivably ascend to the very zenith of society’s economic ladder. “If you are born in the lowest 20 percent [of income distribution], you only have a 5 percent chance of making it to the highest 20 percent,” said Elizabeth Lufrano, community impact manager with United Way of Northeast Florida. “When we talk about a 5 percent chance, that is just saying some crazy, cataclysmic thing happened and you managed to get out.” The recently published U.S. Census Bureau Opportunity Atlas bears this out in a dramatic way. The interactive data tool, developed in part by Harvard and Brown, tracks youth economic mobility, or the probability that children born in a particular income bracket will climb to those above. Turns out Duval County is strikingly rigid, a fact that comes as no

surprise to local nonprofits and community grassroots organizations. “What we found in Jacksonville is that upward mobility is very low,” said Alex Rudnick, who leads Generation Jacksonville, a local offshoot of a global organization dedicated to launching youth into careers. Upward mobility is complex, the result of an intricate algorithm of seemingly mundane determinants such a ZIP code. As the Opportunity Atlas indicates, the neighborhood where a child grows up is a potent indicator for success later in life. Take, for instance, Jacksonville’s Urban Core. An average of 30 percent of the area’s poor youth will remain in the vicinity as adults, according to the Atlas, earning less than $20,000 a year. Only five miles or so to the south, in Avondale, some 15 percent of lowincome children will stay, bringing home $27,000 annually. The reasons for and repercussions of such differences often overlap, perpetuating local racial and socioeconomic rifts. Certain neighborhoods lack access to quality education, affordable housing and reliable transportation, making upward mobility unattainable. “Economic mobility touches everything, whether it is education, health outcomes, the whole gamut,” said Lufrano.

IT STARTS WITH A-B-C In many ways, education lies at the heart of the matter. Across the county, the high-school graduation rate of low-income students stands at 73 percent, the Opportunity Atlas shows, but slumps by 9 points for poor African-American male students. And it’s not only the diploma that matters; literacy is just as important. “You have a large population of individuals, even if graduation rates have increased, who never learned how to read,” said George Maxey, executive director of New Town Success Zone, a coalition of residents, businesses and nonprofits dedicated to uplifting the community. Maxey, a former school principal, said that over the last 20 years in Duval County Public Schools, an average of 33 percent of AfricanAmerican students have passed a benchmark third-grade reading test. To correct the trend among current school-age children, the New Town Success Zone is teaching parents, too. “We sit down with males, training them to read bedtime stories to their daughters and sons, making literacy be part of the household,” said Maxey.

story by DIMA VITANOVA WILLIAMS 12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 26, 2018-JANUARY 1, 2019

CHILDCARE-TOPRISON PIPELINE Schools are hardly to blame for such failures. In separate interviews, both Maxey and Lufrano stated that the root of the problem stretches to an earlier period in a child’s life. Quality childcare facilitates social skills, school performance and, ultimately, economic advancement. But in Jacksonville, its cost is prohibitive, even for many middleclass families. For parents with two children, childcare saps 32 percent of their average income, nearly four times more than tuition at Florida State College at Jacksonville. To be affordable, it needs to account for only a tenth of household earnings, according to a report by CLIMB, a youth-focused initiative by Generation. Fewer than a quarter of Jacksonville’s families—only those making above $83,000 a year—can pay the current price tag of childcare. As a result, many parents rely on relatives to look after their children, or they forego employment and stay home themselves.

Such arrangements, however, disadvantage youths who step into school with less basic knowledge than peers who receive professional childcare. “You have quite a few African-American youths who don’t know words, don’t know their letters, because we don’t have quality childcare in our community,” said Maxey. “So it’s not school-to-prison pipeline, it’s readingto-prison pipeline.”

served only kids; today, it helps both youth and adults begin careers, receive healthy nutrition and enhance their properties, among other services. For Lufrano, of United Way of Northeast Florida, the advancement of economic mobility doesn’t end there. Employers, too, need to become more aware of the precarious conditions of some of their employees. A poor, working parent might decline a promotion, she said, for reasons that well-off managers or colleagues couldn’t even fathom. “If they are making more money on a monthly basis,” she said, “they may lose their [low-income] benefits and so they can actually be in a worse financial position and their kids could be—all of a sudden—not able to get food every day.”

HOME, UNAFFORDABLE HOME Save for some prosperous blocks, job growth in the Urban Core and Westside during the 2004-2013 decade stalled in the low single digits. In some places, it even turned negative. Long-entrenched blight in these neighborhoods has continued to grow on the feebleness of economic opportunities, made even worse by intermittent public transportation. Abandoned or rundown buildings account for the majority of homes in New Town, said Maxey, adding that the New Town Success Zone is working to flip this. And yet, even if most homes are hidden behind boarded windows, with no water and electricity, New Town residents still find it hard to afford housing here. Only 40 percent of them can pay for their homes, a considerable portion of which are rentals. That number is consistent with statistics in neighboring Springfield and Arlington. Across the city, those earning $30,000 a year spend more than 60 percent of that income on rent, according to the CLIMB report.

FROM CHILDREN TO PARENTS Such predicaments sharpen the focus on not only on the needs of the children but their families as well. “Whatever you do for a child, you have to make sure you are doing it for the parents, too,” said Maxey. “Whatever you are doing for the parents, you have to make sure you are doing it for the child. You cannot do one without the other.” This assertion shapes the two-generational model that New Town Success Zone and a slate of partners, including United Way and Generation, have developed and implemented. At first, the Success Zone

IT TAKES A VILLAGE For disadvantaged children and parents alike, the economic ladder is more slippery than it seems. Scaling it necessitates the concerted and coordinated efforts of those affected, of public agencies and of private institutions. Thea Little knows this well. The 23-year-old Duval resident credits her accomplishments—IT certification through Generation, two small businesses, a separate job and a civil-engineering degree in progress—to the many role models who have urged her forward. “A lot of young people [today] do not have mentors,” Little said. “I had people who wanted me to do well and kept me going, people that were willing to help. This is definitely what got me where I am today.” Throughout the years, Little has lived in Arlington, New Town, Springfield and Southside—all locales with significant impediments to youth economic mobility. Regardless of economic background, African-American women who grew up in these areas secure jobs at a rate of 75 percent, according to the Opportunity Atlas. In some pockets, such as the tract along San Jose Boulevard, south of University Boulevard, their employment dips to 50 percent. Just east of it, however, it rises to nearly 90 percent. Little might have miraculously broken what seems like a curse that some neighborhoods carry. Perhaps it was grit or perhaps mentors and nonprofits helped her leap over the obstacles that burden thousands of children upon their birth. But maybe if her family had resided on a different street, or even in an adjacent city, her victories would have been greater ... or smaller. Today, real work is finally underway to give everyone an equal chance to succeed. Dima Vitanova Williams mail@folioweekly.com

DECEMBER 26, 2018-JANUARY 1, 2019 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 13

STROKING

MIDNIGHT Our picks for NEW YEAR’S EVE

ew Year’s Eve in NEFla is always a great time, and it’s going to be especially so this year. Folks in the region are eager to move past a tense, tragic, stressful 12 months, and put 2018 firmly in the rearview mirror. (Then snap that mirror off, curse its existence in multiple languages and throw it out the window while driving away as fast as possible.) The good news is that no matter where you make your residence, or where you want to be when the ball drops, you have no shortage of options. There are NYE events as far as the eye can see, miles and miles in every direction. And they’re diverse, too, consistent with the clientele. It’s a bona fide cornucopia of carousal. The bad news: There are so many choices, you may do exactly what we did while researching myriad websites, word-of-mouth reports and voice mails from Auntie Marian—freeze up. It’s overwhelming. You might feel your brain shortcircuiting in real-time. Or perhaps that longsuffering organ has already gone into sleep mode; such was the strain of this annus horribilis. Fortunately, New Year’s Eve falls on a Monday night, which means the average reader will be counting down on the fourth night of an extended—possibly even lost—weekend. (Sorry if you have to work. Not sorry if you play for the Jaguars. Come on, that’s not real work). Before the night’s debauchery begins, you can start your day the wholesome way by attending Noon Year’s Eve at the Jacksonville Zoo & Gardens (10 a.m.-1 p.m.). It’s one of those rare all-ages, family-friendly New Year’s events. Instead of rye and champagne at midnight, daylight revelers enjoy a (complimentary) apple juice toast at the stroke of high noon. Here you can party with actual animals before becoming an animal yourself later on in the night. Many of the evening events listed here are free (though there are some big-ticket exceptions where noted). Free doesn’t mean you don’t have to pay for drinks, though—it’s usually free admission. And you will be paying with a hangover as then next day dawns. The requisite champagne toasts are in effect almost everywhere. Depending on location, you may even get to have a stranger spray bubbly down your throat while riding by on a bicycle. (Most likely Five Points or Jax Beach.) The Urban Core itself is shaping up as essentially one giant party, with Downtown central to all the fun. It’s important to start the year off right, and your setting and the company you keep will have a lot to do with how much you enjoy yourself. It’s hard to beat the aesthetics of the Downtown skyline. Nor can you go wrong having all your friends rendezvous there for a quasi high-end pub crawl. Any such endeavor must begin at the “creative glam” party at MOCA Jacksonville. The contemporary art museum’s NYE extravaganza features veteran DJ Catharsis and a seven-piece

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band led by Mama Blue. In terms of pure peoplewatching at the stroke of midnight, this one will be hard to beat. If you’re the networking type, the $175 ticket practically pays for itself. The Bay Street bars will be busy. Neighborhood newcomer The Justice Pub ends its first year of operation with a homeboy hootenanny hosted by owner Ian Ranne, aka DJ Triclops I. Special guests include Jackie Stranger and Luke Peacock. From Justice, you can step outside and catch the Downtown fireworks before swinging up to Adams Street, where The Volstead’s “Roaring New Year’s Eve” is nicely timed for the bar’s fifth birthday, with music by The Groove Coalition, vittles for days and an old-school speakeasy vibe that fits the occasion as snugly as the bartenders’ vests. It’s right around the corner from MOCA, which is on Laura Street, so expect to see a fair degree of overlap among the beautiful people. Just a couple doors over, Breezy Jazz Club is doing it big with a $100 cover to see jazz trombonist Delfeayo Marsalis, who hails from New Orleans and represents the first family of American jazz. (We’re getting all three of the main Marsalis brothers in quick succession; Branford appeared with the Jax Symphony in September, and Wynton is bringing the entire Jazz at Lincoln Center Orchestra to Amelia Island on Jan. 25.) The Breezy bash is just one of three cool jazz events on NYE. Crescendo Amelia Big Band is holding court at the venerable Alhambra ($129), and The Raisin Cake Orchestra returns to Prohibition Kitchen in St. Augustine (albeit earlier in the day: 4:30 p.m.). The retro quartet is once again augmenting its utterly singular small-group-swing sound with vocals by the great Linda Cole. The Raisin Cake concert is free, but the venue is hosting another event later that night (admission to that one will set you back $20). Prohibition Kitchen famously doesn’t take reservations, so it’ll probably be almost impossible to get in unless you’re invisible (even then, it’s standing room only). Riverside is another hub of NYE activity. The neighborhood’s marquee event is a masquerade ball at River & Post ($100). DJ Vic Micolucci presides over the rooftop party. Yes, the emcee is a noted local news reporter and, yes, his beats are almost as fresh as his story leads. River & Post is within easy stumbling distance from Five Points, where the whole strip will be in full effect for the millionth year in a row. If you wish to eschew the hoity-toity and do the kind of drinking that you will absolutely regret the next day, just bounce between there and King Street. But remember to drink responsibly and conduct yourself accordingly, or you might find yourself in the last place anyone ever wants to be when they usher in the New Year: the John E. Goode Pretrial Detention Facility. Shelton Hull mail@folioweekly.com

DECEMBER 26, 2018-JANUARY 1, 2019 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15

FOLIO A+E : MUSIC

hat do you get when you mix the talents of one of hip hop’s most legendary producers and an entertainment law professor-turnedcomposer and arranger? Quite possibly one of the most sophisticated, opulent releases in recent years. Added bonus: a celebration of the pioneering AfricanAmerican spirit that sculpted jazz, soul and hip hop into three of the 20th century’s most endearing art forms. Of course, when Ali Shaheed Muhammad, longtime producer for landmark hip hop group A Tribe Called Quest, flew to Los Angeles to break bread and make music with Adrian Younge, such a vision wasn’t yet on their minds. But once the duo started crafting analog beats for the likes of Souls of Mischief and Kendrick Lamar, they knew they were on to something. Then, they were tasked with composing the score for Marvel’s Netflix series Luke Cage. They worked with a 30-piece orchestra to soundtrack the stylized, cinematic Harlem the celebrated black superhero inhabited. With that landmark project in the books, the duo shifted gears back to their own music, releasing a self-titled debut album as The Midnight Hour in June. With vocal features from CeeLo Green, instrumental appearances from Raphael Saadiq, and even a reworking of Luther Vandross’ 1986 classic “So Amazing,” Younge and Muhammad describe The Midnight Hour as “Black excellence: an ode to the cultural sophistication that the Harlem Renaissance established for its people.”

Folio Weekly: First things first: Is the 30-piece orchestra on this current tour with you? Ali Shaheed Muhammad: We’ll have a full band—and a very small piece of that orchestra accompanying us. As for specifics, I believe in the mystique of the presentation. I think it’s best when people come to the show to see how we present the album. The album took a long time to come to fruition; some songs were written as early as 2013. Did you have a creative vision for The Midnight Hour back then? We didn’t. Our relationship began thanks to a mutual friend, Chauncey Sherod. When I met Adrian, he was working on the Souls of Mischief album and invited me to be a part of that. We liked writing

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TIME-TESTED EXCELLENCE The Midnight Hour blends OLD-SCHOOL ELEGANCE and FORWARD-THINKING ARTISTRY THE MIDNIGHT HOUR FEATURING ALI SHAHEED MUHAMMAD & ADRIAN YOUNGE 8 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 27, 1904 Music Hall, Downtown, 1904musichall.com, $20-$25

together and kept linking up. After that, we got hired to do the first season of Luke Cage, and that experience helped us when we came back to the drawing board for The Midnight Hour. One of the biggest things was the orchestra. Prior to Luke Cage, we thought maybe we’d bring in a couple of string players to do basic overdubs. But our composing and scoring process with the 30-piece orchestra changed the scope of our writing and our vision. Did writing with a pre-existing audience in mind affect your process as well? We didn’t focus so much on Luke Cage’s audience as the fact that it was the type of story Marvel had not told before—a story told through the eyes of black people in black culture, from a black experience. Luke was created in the ’70s during the Blaxploitation time period, so we wanted to have a hint of that throwback while also making it more modern. So there’s a tie-in to the ’90s era of hip hop, where you’re talking about a lot of sampled material. It was important that we tapped into that Golden Era and what made it so special: sampling from certain jazz, soul and funk records, along with breaks from psychedelic rock. We had a lot of elements to draw from, and they weren’t all hip hop. Through that process of revisiting the Golden Era, were the differences that

separated West Coast and East Coast hip hop in the ’90s still present? I don’t think it was an intentional, conscious effort of division. Instead, it came out of the natural order of the environment where people came from. Every human being is a unique individual; we may have similar experiences, but as creative beings we place our own fingerprint on our music. That still exists today. Different regions have different sounds. That’s the beauty of being an artist. But I don’t think The Midnight Hour is an East Coast or West Coastsounding group. Also, remember that we’re all cousins. When you think about the migration of blacks from the Deep South to environments that were open-minded and not oppressive, that happened on the East Coast and the West Coast. People went where blacks could find work. So I think our music is a culmination of all those things: Duke Ellington, Barry White, Lou Rawls, David Axelrod, Ennio Morricone, Curtis Mayfield, A Tribe Called Quest. Do you think any modern rap group has the ability to be as culturally influential as A Tribe Called Quest? I ask that question a lot. Using Tribe as a reference, the only two big media platforms that helped us gain popularity were radio and video. As the internet came to life, those two platforms lost their dominance, and that diluted the possibilities of stardom and greatness. In this era, it’s hard for a group of artists to establish a movement. Everyone’s jockeying to have that sort of influence and cultural impact. I think Drake, Kanye and Kendrick Lamar have done it. Maybe Adele, Taylor Swift and Lady Gaga as well. But this is a strange time period for artists, so I don’t have a definitive answer. Everything is so spread out. All I know is that, with A Tribe Called Quest, we felt the love and vibration no matter where we went. What I’m hoping with The Midnight Hour is that the music touches people in a similar way. Adrian and I want to express the love and adoration we feel for this music while we’re on stage. There are a lot of intelligent music fans out there who don’t just want the humdrum stuff that pop culture says is cool, and we know there are a lot of people in Florida who know what that cool sh*t is. So we’re looking forward to seeing whether we all speak the same lingo. Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly.com

FOLIO A+E : FILM Musical production numbers SAVE TEPID REMAKE

ALL THIS & MIRANDA, TOO! Y

ou won’tt need d a spoonf spoonful nful ul of of su suga sugar garr ga enjoy Mary Poppins Return Returns, to enjo ns as the stellar production values, big musical numbers and Emily Blunt are all an absolute treat. Where it falters, though, is in its story, which noticeably labors and is a clear afterthought to the singing and dancing. This is forgivable, given the quality of the musical sequences, but it’s an obvious weakness that should have been handled better. In the 1964 original, Mary (played by Julie Andrews, in an Oscar-winning turn) is a magical nanny who helps the struggling Banks family in pre-World War I London. This new film is set during the Great Depression, and follows a grown-up Michael (Ben Whishaw) and his sister Jane (Emily Mortimer) as they try to save Michael’s home when he defaults on a loan. Though he works at a bank, Michael can’t convince his boss Mr. Wilkins (Colin Firth) to forgive the loan. In fact, Michael is so destitute, he can’t afford food for his housekeeper Ellen (Julie Walters) to cook for his kids Georgie (Joel Dawson), Anabel (Pixie Davies) and John (Nathanael Saleh). Clearly, they need help. Enter a brisk wind, stormy weather and, through the skies, Mary Poppins (Blunt). She’s eager to assist the family once again by taking care of the kids while Michael and Jane handle adult matters. Blunt makes an immediate impression, and shines. Her Mary is firm but caring, and can sing and dance with the best of ’em. This is especially important because she’s working opposite arguably the best there is on Broadway today: Hamilton creator Lin-Manuel Miranda, who plays lamppost

operator Each succeeds wonderfully in oper op erat ator or JJack. ackk. Eac ach h suc solos (“Underneath the Lovely London Sky” for Miranda, “The Place Where Lost Things Go” for Blunt) and duets (“A Cover Is Not the Book”), and they’re briefly joined by Angela Lansbury, Meryl Streep and Dick Van Dyke (!). The energy and imagination, coupled with a clear commitment to excellence, make the film a lush piece of eye and ear candy for all ages. What’s more, director and co-writer Rob Marshall (Chicago) pays homage to the original Mary Poppins a number of times. The bottomless bag resurfaces in “Can You Imagine That?” and there’s an extended animated sequence with penguins and colorful costumes. And the “Step in Time” chimney sweepers’ routine is superbly reimagined in “Trip a Little Light Fantastic.” It’s a bit sad, though, that Marshall, along with writers David Magee and John DeLuca, didn’t tell the story in a way that would adequately complement the high-energy musical numbers. The narrative is stilted at best. Plot details are largely irrelevant and/or lost, with the exception of the main storyline. What is there barely holds together. Better connective tissue would’ve made this not just a more coherent movie; it could have been a triumphant success. Only time will tell if the songs in Mary Poppins Returns endure to be as memorable as those from the original. What is fair to say, however, is that it’s good enough to be a worthy sequel to its much-beloved predecessor. That’s already high praise, indeed. Dan Hudak mail@folioweekly.com DECEMBER 26, 2018-JANUARY 1, 2019 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17

FOLIO A+E : ARTS

FLASH,

t was the era of boom bap, of Metro Pictures, The Tunnel and a CIA-floated sea of white rocks. It was glamorous and dangerous, striving and subversive: The ’80s were excessive in a way that perhaps most closely paralleled the Gilded Age (and prognosticated our own moment). These days, those Drakkar Noir-scented nights are as much fodder for nostalgia as the 1920s are. But instead of beads and bobs, the ’80s were marked by saturated colors, aspirational dressing and lots of flash. In a 2016 New York Times article, writer Jon Carmanica described the Brooklynbased shoplifting crew Lo Lifes’ obsession with fashion in terms that anticipated the current lexicon around lifestyle branding: “the laserlike focus on brand, the lifestyle aspiration, the subversion.” The Lo Lifes were fixated on Ralph Lauren’s Polo brand and would descend on department stores

like Bloomingdale’s en masse to, ahem, acquire additions to their collections. That aesthetic, of oversized knit sweaters emblazoned with teddy bears and crests that meant nothing, of private schools, rugby shirts and polo ponies defined the ’80s, a decade that rolled in on scavenged bicycles and rolled out on Audi 100s. But everything is cyclical. Thus, perhaps the sanest response to our current avaricious, lying-endorsed cultural moment is to cast an eye backward to another shadowy yet undeniably exciting time. Photographers Anh Pham, Tenny Rudolph and Khalil Osborne are planning an end-of-year throwback, Happy Endings, New Beginnings, Prom + Art Show, celebrating their art and the ’80/’90s aesthetic. It’s a nostalgia trip for folks who weren’t born during the first iteration of trickle-down economics. (Donald Trump was on the scene then, and he was as slimy and unconcerned with the law

GLITTER & EXTRA Anh Pham excavates the ’80s to EXCORIATE THE TEENS

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then as he is today.) Pham explains that she’s interested in the fashion and styles of that much-mythologized era because she’s seeking a kind of “authenticity” she feels is lacking in our current hypercommodified culture. It’s a culture that extends to universities—she’s currently a senior in communications at University of North Florida. “I didn’t fit into the college system,” she said. Of her fascination with the Me Decade and its trappings, Pham reflected, “They’re nostalgic, different and unique … things that are almost tacky but get to fashion. These items are so authentic and unique [that] all these fast fashion clothing brands try to mimic the style. It also brings back a nostalgia for my childhood, even though I wasn’t born in the ’80s. And in the media, the ’70s, ’80s and ’90s are portrayed as so flashy, so funky with a lot of hair and glitter; people were very extra. I really like that. It breaks away from this mold of how we are supposed to feel and look. It was a very expressive time.” Like Pham, Rudolph and Osborne also adopt the language of fashion: Rudolph’s photos channel a vibe that’s equal parts snapshot and Oliviero Toscani (the creator of the iconic United Colors of Benetton campaign), while Osborne’s images take cues from a pared-down aesthetic that recalls Prada’s early palette, with nods to street photography. Pham came to photography through an elective course, and about that same

time she stumbled into a small vintage clothing booth at the flea market and slowly developed a company she calls Anharchy Official. She thrifts and remixes clothing as her attempt to “push back against big box fashion.” That idea of “big box fashion” is itself a vehicle for what seems to really be at the core of her work, a resistance to commodity and capitalism. Her most recent suite of works (on view during Prom), tackle the idea of instant gratification via the

HAPPY ENDINGS, NEW BEGINNINGS, PROM + ART SHOW Anh Pham, Tenny Rudolph & Khalil Osborne, 7-10 p.m. Dec. 28, 1037 Park St. (upstairs), Riverside, khalilosborne.co, $5 vehicle of elaborately staged portraits. In terms of reference, the pieces in How to Be a Butterfly in a Day, take cues from photographers like David LaChapelle and Tyler Shields—though, unlike LaChapelle, Pham does not build elaborate sets, nor does she take refuge from the world in a nudist colony. One of the most arresting images in the Butterfly series is a photograph of a pink-haired model seemingly consuming and crying little tiny people. Pham does all of the hair, makeup and styling in her images, exercising almost total creative control. In her artist’s statement, the photographer addresses

this as an illustration of the idea that as a consumerist society, we are ingesting one another and therefore ourselves. (Soylent Green is people, after all.) As a concept, it’s one that has seen purchase in the works of artists like Duane Hanson; ideologically, it leans toward Oswald Spengler’s ideas on America—specifically, our lack of emotional depth. Yet, even as she identifies the hollow mediocrity of materialism, Pham doesn’t have a huge grasp of the history of photography or art. Hers is a more intuitive approach. She cites ’80s icons David Bowie, Andy Warhol and Prince as inspirations, but it seems safe to say that her understanding and interest in the much ballyhoo’d decade comes from popular culture itself. In that, it is an object lesson in how influential and lasting the ethos of the 1980s, its taste and culture-makers have been. In 2018 (soon to be ’19), we have things like influencers and personal brands, a culture sprung from the spectacle society of the Reagan years. But there is nostalgia, too, for a time when, though greed was good, it was also acknowledged as (somewhat) camp, and (seemingly) easier to subvert. Maybe it’s because 40 years ago—as a culture— we had a little more humor about ourselves and weren’t so hungry to turn quirks into brands. Madeleine Peck Wagner mail@folioweekly.com

DECEMBER 26, 2018-JANUARY 1, 2019 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 19

BE A READER O

PREVIEW BALLOT AT FOLIOWE

VOTING Starts Wednesday, December 26, 201 WINNERS Announced in the Wednesday, AUTOMOTIVE

Best Comedian Best Community Theater Best Concert Venue Best Dance School Best Female Vocalist Best Food Festival Best Karaoke Night Best Large Band / Orchestra Best Male Vocalist Best Movie Theater Best Museum Best Music Festival Best Musician Best Nightclub Best Open Mic Night Best Parade Best Performing Dance Group Best Pirate Group Best Place to Hear Local Musicians Best Reenactor Group Best Visual Artist

Best Auto Body Shop Best Auto Detailer Best Auto Service / Repair Shop Best Car Wash Best New Car Dealership / Asian Import Best New Car Dealership / Domestic Best New Car Dealership / European Import Best Tire Store Best Used Car Dealership

BEAUTY Best Barber Best Day Spa Best Hair Salon Best Hair Stylist Best Laser Hair Removal Best Lash Extensions Best Nail Salon Best Tanning Salon Best Waxing Studio

GROCERY Best Farmers Market Best Grocery Store Best Health Food Store

EDUCATION Best Charter Elementary School Best Charter High School Best Elementrary School Best Middle School Best High School Best Kindergarten Best Private School

ENTERTAINMENT Best Actor Best Actress Best Art Festival Best Art Gallery Best Band - Cover Band Best Band - Original Music Best Club DJ

HEALTH & FITNESS Best 5K Best Gym Best Massage Studio Best Pilates Studio Best Yoga Studio

HOME IMPROVEMENT

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Best Bathroom Remodeler Best Carpet Cleaning Service Best Flooring / Carpet Store Best Garden Store / Nursery Best Heating & Air Conditioning Company

Best Home Improvement Contractor Best Kitchen Remodeler Best Pest Control Best Pool Maintenance Best Roofing Contractor

HOUSING Best Apartment Community Best Condo Community Best Home Decor Store Best Moving Company Best New Community Best Real Estate Agency Best Real Estate Agent Best Residential Builder

ISSUES Best Environmental Activist Best Reason to Love St. Augustine Best Nonprofit Organization Best Thing to Happen to St. Augustine Best Use of Local Public Money Best Volunteer Effort Best Cause Worst Environmental Abomination Worst Thing to Happen in the Last Year Worst Waste of Local Public Money

KIDS & FAMILY Best Local Attraction for Kids Best Child Care Best Family Entertainment Best Kid-Friendly Restaurant Best Kids Clothing Store

LAWYERS Best Criminal Lawyer Best Divorce Lawyer

Best DUI Lawyer Best Family Lawyer Best Law Firm / Lawyer Best Marijuana Lawyer Best Personal Injury Lawyer

MEDICAL Best Acupuncturist Best Assisted Living Facility Best Chiropractor Best Cosmetic Surgeon Best Dentist Best Dermatologist Best Eye Clinic Best Hearing Aid Store Best Medical Marijuana Clinic Best Orthodontist Best Urgent Care Clinic

MONEY Best Bank Best Credit Union Best Insurance Agent Best Mortgage / Home Loan Provider

PEOPLE Best County Commissioner Best Community Activist Best Personality Best School Board Member Best Social Justice Crusader Best Weirdo Worst Local Zero

PET PARENTING Best Animal Hospital Best Dog Park Best Pet Accessories Store Best Pet Day Care / Overnight Boarding Best Pet Groomer

BE A READER OF INFLUENCE PREVIEW BALLOT AT FOLIOWEEKLY.COM/SAINTAUGUSTINE VOTING Starts Wednesday, December 26, 2018 | Ends Midnight, Friday, January 11, 2019 WINNERS Announced in the Wednesday, January 30, 2019 Issue of Folio Weekly AUTOMOTIVE

BEAUTY Best Barber Best Day Spa Best Hair Salon Best Hair Stylist Best Laser Hair Removal Best Lash Extensions Best Nail Salon Best Tanning Salon Best Waxing Studio

GROCERY Best Farmers Market Best Grocery Store Best Health Food Store

EDUCATION Best Charter Elementary School Best Charter High School Best Elementrary School Best Middle School Best High School Best Kindergarten Best Private School

ENTERTAINMENT Best Actor Best Actress Best Art Festival Best Art Gallery Best Band - Cover Band Best Band - Original Music Best Club DJ

HEALTH & FITNESS Best 5K Best Gym Best Massage Studio Best Pilates Studio Best Yoga Studio

HOME IMPROVEMENT

20 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 26-JANUARY 1, 2018

Best Bathroom Remodeler Best Carpet Cleaning Service Best Flooring / Carpet Store Best Garden Store / Nursery Best Heating & Air Conditioning Company

Best Home Improvement Contractor Best Kitchen Remodeler Best Pest Control Best Pool Maintenance Best Roofing Contractor

HOUSING Best Apartment Community Best Condo Community Best Home Decor Store Best Moving Company Best New Community Best Real Estate Agency Best Real Estate Agent Best Residential Builder

KIDS & FAMILY Best Local Attraction for Kids Best Child Care Best Family Entertainment Best Kid-Friendly Restaurant Best Kids Clothing Store

LAWYERS Best Criminal Lawyer Best Divorce Lawyer

Best DUI Lawyer Best Family Lawyer Best Law Firm / Lawyer Best Marijuana Lawyer Best Personal Injury Lawyer

MONEY Best Bank Best Credit Union Best Insurance Agent Best Mortgage / Home Loan Provider

PEOPLE Best County Commissioner Best Community Activist Best Personality Best School Board Member Best Social Justice Crusader Best Weirdo Worst Local Zero

PET PARENTING Best Animal Hospital Best Dog Park Best Pet Accessories Store Best Pet Day Care / Overnight Boarding Best Pet Groomer

RETAIL Best Antique Store Best Bookstore Best Boutique Best Consignment Store Best Cupcake Store Best Florist Best Frozen Yogurt / Ice Cream Best Furniture Store Best Gift Shop Best Jeweler Best Liquor Store Best Mattress Store Best Outlet Mall Best Record Store Best Smoke Shop Best Thrift Store Best Vape Shop Best Wine Shop Best Women’s Clothing Store

SPIRITUAL Best Church Best Synagogue

SPORTS & RECREATION Best Bait & Tackle Shop Best Bicycle Shop Best Dive Shop Best Fishing Tournament Best Golf Course Best Karate Studio Best Kayak Shop Best Public Park Best RV Sales & Service

TOURISM Best Attraction Best Beach Best Bed & Breakfast / Inn

Best Carriage Ride Best Historic Architectural Structure Best Hotel / Motel Best Place to Take Out-of-Town Guest Best Train / Trolley Tour Best Walking Tour Best “Historic” Street Best Graveyard Best On The Water Tour

WEDDINGS Best Bridal Registry Best Place to Get Married Best Reception Entertainment Best Rehearsal Dinner Restaurant Best Wedding Cakes Best Wedding Florist Best Wedding Photographer Best Wedding Photo Spot Best Wedding Planner

WINE & DINE Best American Restaurant Best Bagels Best Bakery Best Barbecue Restaurant Best Barista (Name & Workplace) Best Bartender (Name & Workplace) Best Beach Bar Best Breakfast Best Brewery Best Brunch Best Burger Best Burrito Best Catering Best Chef (Name & Workplace) Best Chicken Wings Best Cocktail Selection

Best Coffeehouse Best Desserts Best Diner Best Dive Bar Best Doughnuts Best Family Restaurant Best Fine Dining Restaurant Best Fish Camp Best French Fries Best Fried Chicken Best Gastropub Best Gluten-Free Menu (Name Restaurant) Best Happy Hour Best Hot Dog Best Italian Restaurant Best Japanese Restaurant Best Late Night Menu Best Locally Owned Restaurant Best Margarita Best Martini Best Meal Under $10 Best Mexican Restaurant Best New Bar Best New Restaurant Best Organic Restaurant

Best Oysters Best Pastries Best Pizza Best Pub Best Restaurant Server (Name & Workplace) Best Ribs Best Seafood Restaurant Best Shrimp Best Smoothie Best Sports Bar Best Steak Place Best Sub Sandwich Best Sushi Restaurant Best Vegan / Vegetarian Restaurant Best Waterfront Dining Best Wine Bar Best Wine List

CAMPAIGN TO WIN With 27 years of voting for the Best of Jax, our readers are eager to now exercise their inﬂuence in Folio Weekly’s VERY FIRST BEST OF SAINT AUGUSTINE. From People and Local Makers, from Wine & Dine to Attractions, the 250 CATEGORIES of the 2019 Best of Saint Augustine are in THREE PHASES: NOMINATING, VOTING and HALL OF FAME. Download your free campaign kit at FOLIOWEEKLY.COM/CAMPAIGNKIT.HTML For more information contact your account manager or SAM TAYLOR at (904) 860-2465 or Sam@folioweekly.com DECEMBER 26-JANUARY 1, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 21

OF INFLUENCE

EEKLY.COM/SAINTAUGUSTINE

18 | Ends Midnight, Friday, January 11, 2019 January 30, 2019 Issue of Folio Weekly RETAIL Best Antique Store Best Bookstore Best Boutique Best Consignment Store Best Cupcake Store Best Florist Best Frozen Yogurt / Ice Cream Best Furniture Store Best Gift Shop Best Jeweler Best Liquor Store Best Mattress Store Best Outlet Mall Best Record Store Best Smoke Shop Best Thrift Store Best Vape Shop Best Wine Shop Best Women’s Clothing Store

SPIRITUAL Best Church Best Synagogue

SPORTS & RECREATION Best Bait & Tackle Shop Best Bicycle Shop Best Dive Shop Best Fishing Tournament Best Golf Course Best Karate Studio Best Kayak Shop Best Public Park Best RV Sales & Service

TOURISM Best Attraction Best Beach Best Bed & Breakfast / Inn

PICKS BY DALE RATERMANN | MAIL@FOLIOWEEKLY.COM

SUN

THU

ON THE EIGHTH DAY, GOD CREATED BASKETBALL JACKSONVILLE UNIVERSITY VS. PRESBYTERIAN COLLEGE

The Dolphins beat the Blue Hose, 94-88, in an inter-conference match-up in Clinton, S.C., earlier this month. Jace Hogan (22 pts.) and Tyreese Davis (13 pts., 10 rebs.) led the way for JU. 2 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 30; Swisher Gymnasium, 2800 University Blvd. N., judolphins.com, $10-$20.

HEY, WANNA MEET BEHIND THE ZAMBONI?

JACKSONVILLE ICEMEN There are back-to-back games on the home ice against

the Orlando Solar Bears. 7 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 27 and 7:30 p.m. Friday, Dec. 28, Veterans Memorial Arena, Randolph Blvd., jacksonvilleicemen.com, $10-$48.

MON

FRI

28 SUPERHEROES IN TRAINING

NORTHWEST CLASSIC BASKETBALL TOURNAMENT

NO PUNT INTENDED

TAXSLAYER GATOR BOWL

Texas A&M vs. North Carolina State. Go to the football game and stay for a postgame New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve concert featuring Cole Swindell and midnight fireworks to ring in 2019. 7:30 p.m. Monday, Dec. 31; TIAA Bank Field, taxslayergatorbowl.com, $30 and up.

Four Jax high school boys basketball teams face off in the annual holiday classic. Boys: Friday, Dec. 28, 6 p.m. Raines vs. Jackson; 7:30 p.m. Ribault vs. First Coast. Saturday, Dec. 29, 6 p.m. Consolation Game; 7:30 p.m. Championship Game. Jean Ribault High School, 3701 Winton Dr., dcps.duvalschools.org/rhs, $10/game.

SUN

DRIVE, BREAK, FIX, REPEAT

X-MAXX BASHFESTIVAL

Radio-controlled mini-monster trucks compete in a variety of events, including bashing, jumping and racing. 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 30, Jacksonville Equestrian Center, 13611 Normandy Blvd., free for spectators. 22 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 26, 2018-JANUARY 1, 2019

ARTS + EVENTS

It’s quite possibly the only official New Year’s Eve-Eve dance party: Jax hip-hop emcee Al Pete hosts MISTER PETERSON’S NEIGHBORHOOD, 8 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 30, 1904 Music Hall, Downtown, 1904musichall.com, $10.

PERFORMANCE

HOLIDAY JAM The Change Foundation presents its inaugural R&B and soulful music production, with Russell Thompkins & the New Stylistics, The Manhattans, Gerald Alston, Dennis Edwards’ Temptation Revue, Harold Melvin’s Blue Notes and Carl Carlton, 8 p.m. Dec. 28, Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 W. Water St., Downtown, 800-745-3000, ticketmaster.com. DOWNTOWN DAZZLE Jacksonville Children’s Chorus presents its fourth annual holiday celebration, illuminating its office with lights synchronized to the chorus’ recorded songs, 225 E. Duval St., free. The celebration runs through New Year’s Eve.

CLASSICAL, CHORALE

APPALACHIAN CAROLS North Florida Women’s Chorale and Gainesville Brass Quintet perform, 7 p.m. Dec. 28, Cathedral Basilica, 38 Cathedral Place, St. Augustine, free, womenschorale.org.

BOOKS & POETRY

JANE R. WOOD BOOK SIGNING Wood signs copies of her book, Adventures on Amelia Island: A Pirate, A Princess & Buried Treasure, 1-4 p.m. Dec. 26, The Book Loft, 214 Centre St., Fernandina, 261-8991, thebookloft.com. JAMES H.K. BRUNER BOOK SIGNING Bruner signs copies of his book, The Greater Weight of Evidence, 1-4 p.m. Dec. 27, The Book Loft, thebookloft.com. JR SHARP BOOK SIGNING Sharp signs copies of his book, Breaking from the Enemy, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. Dec. 28, The Book Loft, thebookloft.com. BRUCE THOMASON & JD HUNTER BOOK SIGNING The co-authors sign copies of their new Clay Randall book, The Domino Event, 1-4 p.m. Dec. 29, The Book Loft, thebookloft.com. CORAZON POETRY OPEN MIC Themed ‘Gifts of the Season,’ 3-5 p.m. Dec. 30, Corazon Cinema & Café, 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 679-5736, free with food/drink purchase, corazoncinemaandcafe.com.

COMEDY

TERRY FATOR America’s Got Talent winner and ventriloquist extraordinaire, Fator appears 8 p.m. Dec. 28, The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2782, floridatheatre.com, $39.50-$79.50. KAREN MILLS This is one determined, funny lady. She appears 7:30 & 9:45 p.m. Dec. 28 & 29, The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, 292-4242, comedyzone.com, $15-$18. SEBASTIAN MANISCALCO The ‘Stay Hungry Tour’ is staged 7:30 p.m. Dec. 30, T-U Center’s Moran Theater, Downtown, $39.75-$59.75, ticketmaster.com. THE COMEDY ZONE NYE 2019 CELEBRATION Three different packages to bring in 2019; check website for details. A buffet dinner, dancing, party favors,

champagne toast and comedy, starts 6:30 p.m. Dec. 31 in GiGi’s Restaurant, Ramada Inn, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, 292-4242; comedy show 7:45 p.m. in The Comedy Zone, $49-$89, comedyzone.com.

ART WALKS, MARKETS

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Local and regional art, produce and crafts, Dec. 29, under the Fuller Warren Bridge, free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com. FIRST WEDNESDAY ART WALK Themed ‘Dress the pART’ for 2019’s first Art Walk, held 5-9 p.m. Jan. 2, with more than 36 venues, live music, restaurants, galleries, museums, businesses and hotspots (some open after 9 p.m.) spanning 15 blocks Downtown Jacksonville. iloveartwalk.com. FIRST FRIDAY ART WALK The tour of Art Galleries of St. Augustine is 5-9 p.m. Jan. 4 and every first Fri., with more than 26 member galleries participating, 829-0065.

MUSEUMS

BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY PARK 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657, beachesmuseum.org. Jeffrey Luque’s Vibrancy & Illumination, through February. CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM Flagler College, 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530. Sky Hopinka’s exhibit, Around the Edge of Encircling Lake, is up through December. CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummermuseum.org. Augusta Savage: Renaissance Woman, through April. KARPELES MANUSCRIPT LIBRARY & MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield. #Mylove, Jeffrey Luque’s solo show through January, jeffreyluqueart.com. LIGHTNER MUSEUM 75 King St., St. Augustine, 808-7330, lightnermuseum.org. The Amazing Miniature World of Thomas Rahner, through Jan. 1. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911, mocajacksonville.unf.edu. Gideon Mendel: Drowning World exhibits. Frank Stella Unbound: Literature & Printmaking displays until Jan. 13.

GALLERIES

BOLD BEAN SAN MARCO 1905 Hendricks Ave., 853-6545. Brook Ramsey’s figurative oil paintings are on display. BREW 5 POINTS 1026 Park St., Riverside. Chip Southworth exhibits his bridge-based works in Connections. BUTTERFIELD GARAGE ART GALLERY 137 King St., St. Augustine, 825-4577. The artist for December is Sam Kates. His works exhibit through the month. Small Treasures, Good Things Come in Small Packages, through December. CATHEDRAL ARTS PROJECT 207 N. Laura St., Ste. 300, Downtown, capkids.org. Andrew Kozlowski’s 10,000 Years exhibits through December. CULTURAL CENTER at PONTE VEDRA BEACH 50 Executive Way, 280-0614, ccpvb.org. Jacksonville Coalition DECEMBER 26, 2018-JANUARY 1, 2019 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23

ARTS + EVENTS for Visual Arts winter show is on exhibit. Artisan Market, with pottery, jewelry, photography and paintings, is open. FLORIDA MINING GALLERY 5300 Shad Rd., Mandarin, 268-4681, floridamininggallery.com. Slamdance Cosmopolis, a collaborative exhibit of works by Matt Allison and Matthew Usinowicz, is on display. JENNA ALEXANDER STUDIO 73 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine, 850-384-3084, jenna-alexander.com. Alexander’s new works, Stripes and Buns, display. MAIN LIBRARY’S MAKERSPACE 303 N. Laura St., Downtown. Ties and Knots, an exhibit of contemporary textile works, is up through Jan. 21. PAStA FINE ART GALLERY 214 Charlotte St., St. Augustine, 824-0251, pastagalleryart.com. Stained glass and jewelry artist Marlene Zullig is December’s featured artist. RAIN DOGS 1045 Park St., 5 Points, 379-4969. Pleas To Meat You, new works by Stephen “Cryface” Bunnell, Tyler Lewis-Goshen, Brittany Raja, Matt Jaffe and Randall Royal, is up through December. SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 1 Independent Dr., Downtown, southlight.com. New works by Kevin Arther, Maiya Elaine, Justin Drosten and J Adam McGalliard exhibit starting Jan. 2. Nick McNally’s 8 Visions is on exhibit. THE YELLOW HOUSE 577 King St., Riverside, 419-9180, yellowhouseart.org. Piercing the Veil, Thony Aiuppy’s experimental works, are on display. STUDIO ZSA ZSA LAPREE 233 E. Bay St., Downtown. Creative Kids Show, through December. THE VAULT@1930 1930 San Marco Ave., thevaultat1930. com. Local abstract painter Princess Simpson Rashid displays her works in Odyssey of Abstraction.

EVENTS

KWANZAA CELEBRATION The African Village International’s fifth annual celebration is held 4-8 p.m. Dec. 26, The Ritz Theatre, 829 Davis St., Downtown, 807-2010, ritzjacksonville.com. GINGERBREAD HOUSE EXTRAVAGANZA The 15th annual Gingerbread House Extravaganza is on display 11 a.m.5 p.m. through Dec. 28, Mon.-Fri., at Jacksonville Historical Society, Old St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church, 317 Randolph Blvd., Downtown, 665-0064, jaxhistory.org. The many houses are created by local chefs, architects, culinary students, engineers and civic organizations as well as locals who just love to create. Proceeds benefit the Society. Admission is $10 for adults, $3 for kids ages 3-16; free for kids under 2. The Victorian Merrill Museum House is open 1-3 p.m. for tours.

NEW YEAR’S EVE EVENTS

(All events are Dec. 31 unless otherwise noted.) MR. PETERSON’S NEIGHBORHOOD Local hip-hop musician, actor and DJ Mr. Al Pete appears for New Years Eve-Eve, 8 p.m., Dec. 30, 1904 Music Hall, 19. N. Ocean St., Downtown, 345-5760, 1904musichall.com, $10. JACKSONVILLE SYMPHONY Conductor Courtney Lewis and the Symphony offer a celebration featuring a Viennese concert, a party with The Chris Thomas Band and midnight fireworks, 9 p.m., Times-Union Center’s Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 W. Water St., Downtown. Concert and after-party tickets must be purchased separately. $48-$81, ticketmaster.com. PROHIBITION KITCHEN NEW YEAR’S EVE This celebration features a dinner set with Linda Cole with The Raisin Cake Orchestra, 4:30-7:30 p.m., Prohibition Kitchen, 119 St. George St., St. Augustine, 209-5704, pkstaug. com. Then, the Saved by the Ball New Year’s Eve Bash, featuring Kapowski, starts 10 p.m.; $20. WICKED BARLEY BREWING COMPANY Live local music, including Robby & Felix, beer releases and a beer garden are featured, 7 p.m., 4100 Baymeadows Rd., 379-7077, wickedbarley.com. For admission fees and details, hit the website. DELFEAYO MARSALIS Jazz trombonist Marsalis helps ring in the new year, featuring dinner and champagne, 9 p.m.1 a.m., and Mama Yo & the Bad Boys of Soul are on for the afterparty, 1-4 a.m., Breezy Jazz Club, 119 W. Adams St., Downtown, 666-7562, $100, eventbrite.com. NYE RIVER BASH The fourth annual bash features champagne, hors d’oeuvres, desserts, swag, DJ and fireworks, 9 p.m. Jacksonville Landing, Deep Blue Event Space, Ste. 276, Downtown, $100. Formal attire is encouraged. eventbrite.com. NEW YEAR’S EVE CELEBRATION Fireworks, live music, open bar, appetizers, midnight champagne are featured 9 p.m. Cowford Chophouse, 101 E. Bay St., Downtown, 862-6464, cowfordchophouse.com, $125. MOCA NYE PARTY Live music by Mama Blue, DJ Cartharsis, live art performances, food, and open bar featuring libations of Manifest Distilling and Intuition Ale Works, black tie optional, MOCA Jacksonville, 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, 366-6911, mocajacksonville.org, $150 members, $175 nonmembers. ________________________________________ To list your event, send time, date, location (street address, city/neighborhood), admission price and a contact phone number to print to Marlene Dryden, mdryden@folioweekly. com or 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Space available policy. Deadline noon Wed. for next Wed. printing.

This face might look familiar. Former Folio Weekly editor CLAIRE GOFORTH steps into the spotlight at the HOLIDAY WRITER SHOWCASE, featuring readings by Goforth and fellow scribblers Tim Gilmore, Johnny Masiulewicz and Lewis Wholman. 6 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 27, The Justice Pub, Downtown, facebook.com/TheJusticePub, free.

24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 26, 2018-JANUARY 1, 2019

FOLIO FOLIO OA A+E +E : FILM FIL LM

GOD BLESS ’EM, EVERY ONE

A glut of remakes can’t daunt the joy of ‘A CHRISTMAS CAROL’

t a conservative count, there have been nearly 50 films (theatrical and television) based on Charles Dickens’ 1843 yuletide classic, A Christmas Carol. Most film and TV versions put A Christmas Carol somewhere in the title; another option is to use Scrooge or a variation thereof. In the silent era, at least three versions were cranked out. Since then, the floodgates opened to include several animated forms, musical renditions—even a gay-themed revision in 2012 called Scrooge & Marley. Obviously, Dickens’ timeless tale of parsimony and redemption still speaks to all ages and tastes, with results ranging from cloying and syrupy to imaginative and original. Too often, the struggle to be “original” can birth the ridiculous. Rather than sort through treasures and trash, I’d like to present for your consideration four of the best live-action, non-animated perspectives for holiday viewing. I hope none inspires a “Humbug!” Three of my favorite takes on A Christmas Carol demonstrate “different” approaches. Albert Finney (a former Tom Jones and only 34 years old) essayed the role of skinflint Ebenezer in director Ronald Neame’s 1970 Scrooge. One of British film’s greats, Neame was also a cinematographer and screenwriter. As director, his notable films included The Horse’s Mouth (’58) and Tunes of Glory (’60), both with Alec Guinness at his best. Guinness appears in Scrooge as Marley’s ghost, easily stealing the scene, but the best thing about Scrooge is Finney, an even better actor than Neame was a director. Unfortunately, it was 1970, and there may have been something in the water. That’s one way of accounting for the decision to make a musical with a great actor who was not a great singer. The prolific Leslie Bricusse (Doctor Doolittle, Goodbye, Mr. Chips) wrote the screenplay as well as the songs, which get in the way of Dickens’ tale and Finney’s spirited performance. It’s a matter of taste, but I could’ve done without Scrooge & Company singing and dancing. Directing the 1984 TV version of A Christmas Carol was another British director, Clive Donner, with an allEnglish cast except for Scrooge. Playing that crosspatch miser was George C. Scott, whose portrayal may be the most formidable of the various interpretations. No big surprise, considering it’s ‘Old Blood & Guts’ in the title role. Scott, like Finney, was such a superb actor, and his ultimate redemption with Tiny Tim et al is even more heartfelt, affirming the sentiment and the depth of Dickens’ masterwork. (Film buffs may note the irony of Susannah York, Finney’s love interest in the stellar Tom Jones, here

as Mrs. Bob Cratchit.) American Richard Donner, erstwhile director of Superman: The Movie and Lethal Weapon flicks, took quite a different route in 1988’s Scrooged, a hip, glossy contemporary update with Bill Murray as ruthless TV exec Frank Cross, who gets a surprise visit from the three spirits of Christmas. Supported by a great cast— including Alfre Woodard, Carol Kane, Robert Mitchum, Karen Allen and Bobcat Goldthwait—Murray is at his cynical best. Who doesn’t love it when David Johansen, as Christmas Past, says, “That’s exactly what Attila the Hun said. But when he saw his mother ... Niagara Falls!” Scrooged could’ve gone wrong in so many ways, and at first critics were split. Tinkering with a beloved story is risky, and the film’s uneven at times. In the end, though, when Murray’s wiseass Cross is redeemed by the treacly sentiment and affirmation of Dickens’ original, we forgive. In each of those, the movie’s strength is less the script or direction than the main character’s performance and charisma. It’s also true for the best of the bunch, 1951’s Scrooge in the UK; over here as A Christmas Carol. The always irrepressible Alistair Sim is the definitive Ebenezer Scrooge, and tis script and tone may be the most true to the novel. The cast includes such future luminaries as Michael Hordern (Barry Lyndon), Peter Bull (Dr. Strangelove), and Patrick Macnee (John Steed, The Avengers), A Christmas Carol is obscure director Brian Desmond Hurst’s supreme achievement. No humbug here. Just Dickens and Scrooge at their best. Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com

NOW SHOWING HOLIDAY MOVIES AT MAIN ‘It’s our time, down here!’ Steven Spielberg’s comedy/life lesson, The Goonies, screens 2 p.m. Dec. 30, Main Library, 303 N. Laura St., Downtown, 630-2665, jaxpubliclibrary.org, free. Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle runs 4:30 p.m. Jan. 2. CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ Can You Ever Forgive Me?, Science Fair, First Man and The Dawn Wall currently screen. Throwback Thursday is Burnt, Dec. 27. TBT’s Jan. 3 film is The Imitation Game, with Benedict yum Cumberbatch. Distant Drums starts Jan. 4. 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com. WGHF IMAX Aquaman, Mortal Engines 3D, Great Barrier Reef 3D, Pandas 3D, America’s Musical Journey 3D and Polar Express currently screen. World Golf Hall of Fame, St. Augustine, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com. SUN-RAY CINEMA Anna & the Apocalypse, Aquaman and Mary Poppins Returns currently screen. 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. DECEMBER 26, 2018-JANUARY 1, 2019 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25

Photo by Madison Mitchell

FOLIO A+E : MUSIC

GILT-Y

PLEASURES

he kids are all h tour souvenirs St. Augustine’s GILT areOther right. For all the less tangible but more LOOKS FORWARD casual talk of rewarding. Among their “entitled” and “lazy” favorite experiences: in the New Year millennials, young folk Band members have are actually working literally climbed overtime to clean up the mountains together. world they’ll soon be They also recently inheriting. But they’re launched Snipfest, a doing it their way (deal statewide weekend with it), and they’re festival fundraiser having fun in the process. benefitting low-income transgender youth. St. Augustine emo collective GILT Not only did they organize the thing, carries on a utopian tradition of musical but GILT themselves performed in each expression rooted in values of respect participating city (St. Augustine, Orlando and compassion. What’s more, they and Miami) over the course of the threeinterview collectively. day event. “[GILT] definitely takes DIY punk Making St. Augustine their home ethics to heart in terms of seriousness,” base has been nurturing. The Ancient the entity says. “Our themes tackle City has its safe creative havens, places mental health issues, trauma, dysphoria like Nobby’s and Sarbez. And, if there’s and LGBT+ struggles, and we are very a only small audience for alternative actively involved in community support music, that dearth has only encouraged and charity work for people experiencing like-minded musicians to find and those issues, as well as the normal support each other regardless of genre: promotion of shows. We definitely are “The DIY scene has become a wide-open just as much of a grassroots advocacy playing field where you’re going to see group as we are entertainment.” punk bands, noise acts and rappers on The band itself is a big tent, welcoming the same bill.” new members fairly regularly. Since So GILT has found community here, forming in early 2017, there have been no but there remains a whole lot to be emo fewer than 10 rotating players. about in Northeast Florida. “GILT has “While New Jersey really been a big, emo has a lot of ‘grey experimental process,” skies and lonely in explains the band. suburbia’ imagery,” FOREVER HORROR, MENTAL BOY, “It’s been more about GILT explains, “we GILT, THUNDERHOOF finding people we like find ourselves with, 9 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 29, and want to support ‘it’s nice weather but versus the closest I came out to my Shanghai Nobby’s, St. Augustine, available musicians.” parents and they told nobbysfl.weebly.com, $5 GILT’s current me I couldn’t live here iteration is anchored anymore.’ There’s by guitarist Tilley, plenty to be upset drummer Ash, bassist about no matter where Nico and vocalist Tyler, who is, in fact, you’re from, but we do find an additional the only St. Augustinian in the ranks. sense of purpose trying to reach kids in The bulk of the band hail from—and towns where the overwhelming elderly even sometimes reside—elsewhere, in population has set the noise ordinance at Connecticut and South Florida. 8:30 p.m., there are no basements to house Though most members have relocated shows, and certain venues openly allow at least semi-permanently to St. Augustine, the meeting of white supremacists.” the geographic spread is part of GILT’s GILT are already making the world DNA—and it’s also as good a pretext as they want to live in, one show at a time. any to take the show on the road: “The Their plans for the New Year include more decentralization of the band is a big part of of the same, only bigger and better. They why we focused on touring so hard from plan to tour more. (They logged only three the get-go.” months on the road in 2018.) They hope They’ve been around, too. In fewer to break Canada and find a record label than two years, GILT has performed “that shares our values.” They’re going dozens of shows across the nation. They to expand Snipfest to more cities and even have the haunted relics to prove it. increase community involvement. “So far,” GILT laughs, “we have a And, Tyler adds, in the interview’s only skull ring given to us at a club in Austin, rogue answer, “We’re also going to try to a skull knife found in the San Francisco learn how to skate.” Bay and an ancient chalice found in the Georgio Valentino Colorado River.” mail@folioweekly.com

26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 26, 2018-JANUARY 1, 2019

CONCERTS The “Piana from Savannah” is headed south. VICTOR WAINWRIGHT & THE TRAIN perform a brand of boogie rock that’s heavy on the keyboard shenanigans. 8 p.m. Friday, Dec. 28, Café Eleven, St. Augustine, originalcafe11.com, $25/$30.

LIVE MUSIC VENUES

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA

The SALTY PELICAN, 12 N. Front St. Greg Lyons Dec. 26. Travis Harden Dec. 28. Sam McDonald Dec. 29. Robert Barlow Dec. 30 S J BREWING, 463646 S.R. 200 Hupp & Ray Dec. 29 SLIDERS Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave. Pili Pili Dec. 26. Tad Jennings Dec. 27. Hupp, Woodward Johnson, Radio Love Dec. 28. Charlotte P. Band, The Firewater Tent Revival Dec. 29. JCnMike Dec. 30. 2 Dudes from Texas Dec. 31. Mark O’Quinn Jan. 1 The SURF, 3199 S. Fletcher Larry & the Backtracks Dec. 27. King Eddie & Pili Pili Dec. 28. Davis Turner Dec. 29

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

CASBAH Café, 3628 St. Johns Ave. Goliath Flores every Wed. Jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE Nightclub, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free Tue. & Thur. Indie dance Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance music Fri.

THE BEACHES

(All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted) ATLANTIC BEACH Brewing, 725 Atlantic Blvd. Particles Collide Jan. 4 BLUE JAY Listening Room, 412 N. Second St. Song Stories: Dixie Rodeo, The Willow Sisters Dec. 27. Trella, Corey Kilgannon Dec. 28. Tom Waits, Kaleigh Baker & her Enablers Dec. 29. Hymn for Her Dec. 30. Bonnie Blue Dec. 31. The Howlin’ Brothers Jan. 3. Caitlin Mahoney Jan. 5 COOP 303, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach Adam Latiff Dec. 28 & 29. The City Hop Dec. 30 CULHANE’S Irish Pub, 967 Atlantic Blvd., AB Michael Funge, The Dames Trio Dec. 31 FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach Lunar Coast Dec. 28 & 29 GREEN ROOM Brewing, 228 Third St. N. Mike Cook Dec. 28. Michael C Dec. 29 GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd. Groov every Wed. Michael Smith every Thur. Milton Clapp every Fri. LYNCH’S Irish Pub, 514 N. First St. The Well Wishers Dec. 28. Solar Tide, Ja Terra Dec. 29. Austin Park Dec. 31 MEZZA, 110 First St., NB Gypsies Ginger Wed. Mike Shackelford, Steve Shanholtzer Thur. House Band Mon. Trevor Tanner Tue. MUSIC in the Courtyard, 200 First St., NB Darren Ronan Dec. 28. Neil Dixon Dec. 29 RAGTIME Tavern, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB Mark Dennison Dec. 26. Little Mike & the Tornadoes Dec. 27. Bread & Butter Dec. 28. 7th Street Band Dec. 29. 7 Street Band Dec. 31 SAFE HARBOR, 2510 Second Ave. N. Ace Winn Dec. 28 SURFER the Bar, 200 First St. N. Passafire, El Dub Dec. 28. New Year’s Eve Bash Dec. 31. Whiskey Beach Jan. 2 WHISKEY JAX, 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy. Beach City Dec. 28. Str8Up Band Dec. 29. Top Shelf Dec. 30. Boogie Freaks Dec. 31

DOWNTOWN

1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St. N. The Midnight Hour (Ali Shaheed Muhammad, Adrian Younge) Dec. 27. LPT Dec. 28. The Grass is Dead, West King Street Band Dec. 29. Mr. Peterson’s Neighborhood Dec. 30. The Main Squeeze, Khris Royal, Trail Diver Dec. 31

DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St. DJ Brandon Thur. DJ NickFresh Sat. DJ Randall every Mon. DJ Hollywood Tue. The JAX LANDING Austin Park Dec. 28. Spanky Dec. 29. Christmas Jazzy: The Katz Downstairz Dec. 30. G-Vibe Trio, Party in a Box Dec. 31 MAVERICKS Live, Jax Landing Wade B, Allen Higgs Dec. 28 MYTH Nightclub, 333 E. Bay St. Riot Ten, Throwdown, Drewlface, DJ Q45, Sorce Dec. 28. Ralph & Louie Dec. 29. Black & Gold Affair: DJ Q45, Rocks & Blunts, Jon Kinesis, Mike Shea, Xander, Darren Parks Dec. 31. Johnny Oz, Kelvin Hayes, Jon Kinesis, Artik, Romeo Jan. 2 TIMES-UNION Center, 300 Water St. Russell Thompkins Jr. & the New Stylistics, The Manhattans, Gerald Alston, Temptations, Dennis Edwards, Harold Melvin’s Blue Notes, Carl Carlton Dec. 28, Moran. Sebastian Maniscalco Dec. 30 VETERANS MEMORIAL Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., 630-3900 Cole Swindell Dec. 31 VOLSTEAD, 115 W. Adams Snacks Blues Band Dec. 28. Swing Bone Dixie Dec. 29. Roaring NYE Party Dec. 31

FLEMING ISLAND, GREEN COVE BOONDOCKS, 2808 Henley Rd., Green Cove Brandon Leino Dec. 26. Ashton Taylor Dec. 27. Paul Wane, BDW Band Dec. 28. Zeb Padgett, Dixie Highway Dec. 29. Joel Moody, Dakota Dec. 31. Mark Johns Jan. 2. Random Tandem Jan. 3 WHITEY’S Fish Camp, 2032 C.R. 220 Lisa & the Mad Hatters Dec. 28. Boogie Freaks Dec. 29. DJ BG Dec. 31

INTRACOASTAL

CLIFF’S, 3033 Monument Rd. DJ Sharon Dec. 26. Comfort Zone Dec. 28 & 29. The Remains Dec. 31 JERRY’S, 13170 Atlantic Blvd. Party Cartel Dec. 28

MANDARIN

ENZA’S, 10601 San Jose Blvd. Brian Iannucci Dec. 26 & 30 & Jan. 1 IGGY’S, 104 Bartram Oaks Walk Neon Whiskey Dec. 28. Fat Cactus Dec. 29. Ivan Pulley Dec. 30

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

CHEERS, 1138 Park Ave. DJ Capone Dec. 26. Wildfire Rising Dec. 28 & 29 DALTON’S, 2620 Blanding Zeb Padgett Dec. 27. Southern Rukus Dec. 28. Jonathan Lee Dec. 29 The HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd. John Michael Tue.-Sat.

PONTE VEDRA

PONTE VEDRA Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N. Donna the Buffalo, Western Centuries Dec. 29. Rita Coolidge Jan. 9 Restaurant MEDURE, 818 A1A N. The Groov Dec. 28 & 29. Chris Thomas Jan. 5 TAPS Bar & Grill, 2220 C.R. 210 Dennis Miller Dec. 26. Red Level Dec. 28

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

NIGHTHAWKS, 2952 Roosevelt Blvd. Blood Bath & Beyond Dec. 28. Open mic Dec. 31 RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St. Some Kind of Nightmare, Wastedist, Forsaken Profits, SCUM Jan. 4

RIVER & POST, 1000 Riverside Ave. DJ Vic M. Dec. 28. NYE Masquerade, DJ Vic M. Dec. 31

ST. AUGUSTINE

ARNOLD’S, 3912 N. Ponce de Leon Southern Rukus Dec. 29. Blistur Dec. 30. Jason Evans Band Dec. 31 CAFÉ ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd. Victor Wainwright & the Train Dec. 28 PLANET SARBEZ, 115 Anastasia Blvd. When Particles Collide Jan. 3 PROHIBITION Kitchen, 119 St. George St. Catch in the Groove, Billy Monarch Band Dec. 26. Ramona Dec. 27. Kiya Cash, Honey Hounds Dec. 28. MJBaker, Pressure Dec. 29. Linda Cole, Raisin Cake Orchestra, Kapowski Dec. 31. Str8Up Jan. 1. Skip & the King Jan. 2. Smokestack Jan. 3 TRADEWINDS, 124 Charlotte Cottonmouth Dec. 28 & 29

SAN MARCO, NORTHBANK

GRAPE & GRAIN Exchange, 2000 San Marco Be Easy Dec. 29 & 31. Bold City Improv Jam Jan. 1. The Snacks Blues Band Jan. 5 JACK RABBITS, 15280 Hendricks Ave. Brendan Morrison, Asphalt Kiss, Runner’s High Dec. 26. Hensley, Revel in Romance, Jacob Hudson, Swingers Dec. 27. Astronautilus, Hurricane Party, Denver Hall, Rob Roy Dec. 28. Freekbass, Invisible Friends Dec. 29. Beau & The Burners, Matchstick Johnny, The Firewater Tent Revival, Chelsey Michelle Dec. 30. Cracker, Camper Van Beethoven Jan. 6 MUDVILLE Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd. True Stories CD release, Tom & Natalie Dec. 27. Mike Shackelford, Steve Shanholtzer, Craig Spirko, Dean Spry Dec. 28. NFFN Artist Showcase: Dixie Rodeo, Tom Edwards, Dr. Paul Jan. 9

SOUTHSIDE, BAYMEADOWS

ALHAMBRA THEATRE, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212 The Donna Summer & Barry White Experience Dec. 28 & 29 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct. Cortnie Frazier Jan. 4 VETERANS UNITED, 8999 Western Way Jessica Pounds Dec. 28 WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd. Pistol Hill Dec. 26. The Chris Thomas Band Dec. 28. Van Go Dec. 29. Oversized Load Dec. 31

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

COPPER TOP Bar, 12405 Main St. Second Shot Dec. 31 PALMS Fish Camp, 6359 Heckscher Dr. Billy Bowers Dec. 28. Lisa & the Mad Hatters Dec. 29

UPCOMING CONCERTS

ROCK of AGES Jan. 10, T-U Center, Moran The VEGABONDS Jan. 10, Prohibition Kitchen JON STICKLEY TRIO Jan. 10, Beaches Museum CRUNK WITCH Jan. 10, Shantytown Pub Winter Jam: NEWSBOYS UNITED, LEDGER, DANNY GOKEY, MANDISA, REND COLLECTIVE, NEWSONG, HOLLYN, TY BRASEL, MANIC DRIVE, DAN BREMNES, ADAM AGEE Jan. 11, Veterans Memorial Arena COREY SMITH Jan. 11, Mavericks Live KARL DENSON & his TINY UNIVERSE BAND Jan. 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall DECEMBER 26, 2018-JANUARY 1, 2019 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27

CONCERTS MINESWEEPA Jan. 11, Myth Nightclub MARCIA BALL & her BAND Jan. 12, PV Concert Hall PAVLO, GUITAR GIVEAWAY Jan. 12, Thrasher-Horne Center METAL for MUTTS Jan. 12, 1904 Music Hall FLIPTURN, TEEN DIVORCE, The CITRUS TREES Jan. 12, Murray Hill Theatre Progressive Comedy Tour: GRAHAM ELWOOD, RON PLACONE Jan. 12, Nighthawks EUROPA Jan. 12, Shanghai Nobby’s ELAINE & SAM MAHON Jan. 13, Beluthahatchee Park FRANKIE VALLI & the FOUR SEASONS Jan. 13, Florida Theatre PICKWICK COMMONS Jan. 13, Jack Rabbits MR. PROTEGE Jan. 13, Myth Nightclub LISA KELLY/JB SCOTT Quintet Jan. 15, Ponte Vedra Library LAKE STREET DIVE, MIKAELA DAVIS Jan. 15, PVC Hall The BIG TROUBLE Jan. 15, UNF Fine Arts Center ENGELBERT HUMPERDINCK Jan. 16, Thrasher-Horne Ctr. SOUTHERN CULTURE on the SKIDS Jan. 17, 1904 Music Hall The KENNEDYS, ROUGH & TUMBLE Jan. 17, Mudville NORTH by NORTH Jan. 17, Rain Dogs; Jan. 19, Sarbez BRADD MARQUIS Jan. 17, Ritz Theatre MIKE EPPS, SOMMORE, EARTHQUAKE, MARK CURRY, GEORGE WALLACE Jan. 18, Veterans Memorial Arena The LISA KELLY JAZZ 4TET: Lisa Kelly, Jeff Phillips, Mike Perez, Jeremy Smith Jan. 18, Casa Monica Cobalt Lounge LINCOLN DURHAM Jan. 18, Jack Rabbits RANDY STONEHILL, SUMMER FROST, TIM SERDYNSKI Jan. 18, Murray Hill Theatre LANDSCAPE of GUITAR Jan. 18, Thrasher-Horne Center BIG ENGINE Jan. 18, Cliff’s Bar The VEGABONDS Jan. 18, 1904 Music Hall DREW CAREY, GREG PROOPS, JEFF B. DAVIS, JOEL MURRAY Jan. 19, The Florida Theatre MUTTS GONE NUTS Jan. 19, FSCJ Wilson Center SPACE JESUS Jan. 20, Myth Nightclub DAVID WILCOX Jan. 20, Café Eleven You & Me Solo Acoustic: PETE YORN Jan. 22, Jack Rabbits CURT CASTLE Jan. 22, Nighthawks ARLO GUTHRIE Jan. 23, Florida Theatre CHER, NILE RODGERS, CHIC Jan. 23, Vets Memorial Arena MILE TWELVE Jan. 23, Mudville Music Room

Relative newcomers to the NEFla music scene, THE FALLEN SONS serve their metalcore with a side of theatrics. They support local headliners BLOOD BATH AND BEYOND and Hialeah math-rock maestros FALSETA, 8 p.m. Friday, Dec. 28, Nighthawks, Riverside, facebook.com/ nighthawksjax, $8/$10.

28 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 26, 2018-JANUARY 1, 2019

EL TEN ELEVEN, JOAN of ARC Jan. 23, Jack Rabbits JOHN FULBRIGHT Jan. 23, Café Eleven MAIN FOCUS, ARTIFAKTS Jan. 24, 1904 Music Hall RECKLESS KELLY, NIKKI LANE Jan. 24, PV Concert Hall MONTANA of 300 Jan. 24, Nighthawks JANET GARDNER Jan. 25, 1904 Music Hall DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS, LUCINDA WILLIAMS Jan. 25, The Florida Theatre VOODOO VISIONARY Jan. 25, Jack Rabbits The OUTLAWS Jan. 25, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MARK LAVENGOOD, The COPPER TONES Jan. 25, Café Eleven SULTANS of STRING Jan. 25, Mudville Music Room OLD 97s, SHOOTER JENNINGS Jan. 26, PV Concert Hall WINDHAND, GENOCIDE PACT Jan. 26, 1904 Music Hall SETH GLIER Jan. 26, Café Eleven SARA EVANS Jan. 27, The Florida Theatre JB Scott’s SWINGIN’ ALLSTARS Jan. 27, Riverside Concert ANDY FRASCO & the U.N. Jan. 27, Jack Rabbits CRASH TEST DUMMIES Jan. 28, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PINK MARTINI Jan. 28, The Florida Theatre DAVID CURLEY & ANDREW FINN MAGILL Jan. 29, Mudville MARCO BENEVENTO Jan. 30, Jack Rabbits EMERY, OH, SLEEPER Jan. 30, Murray Hill Theatre NEKO CASE, KIMYA DAWSON Jan. 31, PVedra Concert Hall JOYCE MANOR, JEFF ROSENSTOCK, REMEMBER SPORTS Jan. 31, 1904 Music Hall THAT 1 GUY Feb. 1, Café Eleven BLACK JACKET SYMPHONY Queen’s ‘A Night at the Opera’ Feb. 1, Thrasher-Horne Center UNDER the STREETLAMP Feb. 2, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall RHETT WALKER, SIDECREEK Feb. 2, Murray Hill Theatre SATSANG Feb. 2, Surfer the Bar BETHEL MUSIC Feb. 5, T-U Center, Moran Theater GAELIC STORM Feb. 5, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PIGEONS PLAYING PING PONG Feb. 6, 1904 Music Hall DAVID BROMBERG QUINTET Feb. 6, PV Concert Hall STEVE POLTZ Feb. 6, Café Eleven BJ BARHAM Feb. 6, Jack Rabbits The MAGPIE SALUTE Feb. 7, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall G. LOVE & SPECIAL SAUCE Feb. 8, PVedra Concert Hall ANDREW McMAHON in the WILDERNESS, FLOR, GRIZFOLK Feb. 8, Mavericks NOEL FRIEDLINE Feb. 8, Ritz Theatre PATTI LaBELLE Feb. 9, Times-Union Center AARON LEWIS Feb. 9, The Florida Theatre LISA KELLY JAZZ 4TET Feb. 9, Casa Monica Cobalt Lounge RAYLAND BAXTER Feb. 10, Murray Hill Theatre ALAN DOYLE & GREAT BIG SEA Feb. 10, PV Concert Hall MICHAEL BOLTON Feb. 10, The Florida Theatre SEAN K. PRESTON & the LOADED PISTOLS Feb. 10, Prohibition Kitchen G JONES, TSURUDA, CHEE Feb. 10, 1904 Music Hall SPAMALOT Feb. 11, Times-Union Center AL DI MEOLA Feb. 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CREEPING DEATH, HOMEWRECKER Feb. 12, Nighthawks TAJ MAHAL & his TRIO Feb. 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall YONDER MOUNTAIN STRING BAND, HANDMADE MOMENTS Feb. 13, 1904 Music Hall KEIKO MATSUI Feb. 14, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall JO KOY Feb. 14, The Florida Theatre TOM RUSH, MATT NAKOA Feb. 15, PVedra Concert Hall MATT & KIM, YUMO Feb. 15, St. Aug. Amp. Backyard Stage FRED EAGLESMITH, TIG GINN Feb. 16, Mudville DAVE MASON, STEVE CROPPER, GRETCHEN RHODES Feb. 17, PVedra Concert Hall LEE ‘SCRATCH’ PERRY, SUBATOMIC SOUND SYSTEM Feb. 17, Jack Rabbits

COTTER HILL Feb. 17, Blue Jay Listening Room The FLOOZIES, TOO MANY ZOOZ, DREAMERS DELIGHT, The TERMINUS HORNS Feb. 18, 1904 Music Hall LOS LOBOS Feb. 19, PVedra Concert Hall JAKE SHIMABUKURO Feb. 19, Florida Theatre An Evening with DAWES Feb. 19, St. Aug. Amp. Backyard Stage The ZOMBIES Feb. 20, PVedra Concert Hall T.S.O.L. Feb. 20, Surfer the Bar MURDER by DEATH, J RODDY WALSTON & the BUSINESS Feb. 20, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Backyard Stage TOBYMAC, JEREMY CAMP, RYAN STEVENSON, AARON CORE, WE ARE MESSENGERS Feb. 21, Vets Memorial Arena KASEY CHAMBERS & the FIREFLY DISCIPLES, CASEY BURRUSS Feb. 21, PVedra Concert Hall HAVANA CUBA ALL STARS Feb. 21, Thrasher-Horne Center TYLER HILTON Feb. 21, Café Eleven SEVEN NATIONS Feb. 22, Jack Rabbits TONY MacALPINE, MONTE PITTMAN Feb. 22, Nighthawks CAN’T SWIM, HOMESAFE, SAVE FACE, SMALL TALKS Feb. 23, Nighthawks SARAH McLACHLAN Feb. 24, The Florida Theatre CHRISTOPHER CROSS Feb. 27, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall The EXPENDABLES, BALLYHOO! Feb. 28, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Backyard Stage ALABAMA March 1, St. Augustine Amphitheatre PAM TILLIS, TERRI CLARK, SUZY BOGGUSS March 1, The Florida Theatre OUIJA BROTHERS March 1, River City Brewing PUDDLES PITY PARTY March 1, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall STEEL PANTHER, WILSON March 1, Mavericks Live BEACH BOYS March 1, Thrasher-Horne Center BROTHERS OSBORNE, RUSHTON KELLY March 2, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MORGAN JAMES March 3, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall LANDT March 3, Planet Sarbez GIN BLOSSOMS March 4, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall STEVEN CURTIS CHAPMAN March 7, T-U Ctr. Terry Theater BLAKE SHELTON, TRACE ADKINS, The BELLAMY BROTHERS, JOHN ANDERSON, LAUREN ALAINA March 7, Veterans Memorial Arena The AVETT BROTHERS March 7, St. Augustine Amphitheatre The INFAMOUS STRINGDUSTERS, ROOSEVELT COLLIER March 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall TRAVIS TRITT, The CHARLIE DANIELS BAND, CADILLAC THREE March 8, St. Augustine Amphitheatre 10,000 MANIACS March 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall JUICE March 9, Jack Rabbits MILES JAYE, TONY TERRY, The SYSTEM March 9, T-U Ctr. HIGH TIME March 9, Mudville Music Room TANK & the BANGAS, ALFRED BANKS, MAGGIE KOERNER March 10, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JEFF TWEEDY, JAMES ELKINGTON March 11, PVC Hall SHWAYZE March 14, Surfer the Bar David Bowie Alumni Tour: MIKE GARSON, EARL SLICK, GERRY LEONARD, CARMINE ROJAS, BERNARD FOWLER, COREY GLOVER, LEE JOHN March 15, PV Concert Hall ELTON JOHN March 15, Veterans Memorial Arena DAN + SHAY, MORGAN EVANS March 15, St. Aug. Amp. BLUNTS & BLONDES March 15, River City Brewing CLARK BECKHAM March 16, Jack Rabbits TREVOR NOAH March 16, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ROGER McGUINN March 16, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall LITTLE FEAT March 20, The Florida Theatre JOAN OSBORNE March 21, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall The DUKE ROBILLARD BAND March 21, Café Eleven ANGELA INGERSOLL March 22, FSCJ’s Wilson Center ANVIL March 24, 1904 Music Hall The MESSTHETICS, BRENDAN CANTY, JOE LALLY, ANTHONY PIROG March 26, St. Aug. Amp. Front Porch KELLER WILLIAMS’ PETTYGRASS, The HILLBENDERS March 28, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Backyard Stage PUNCH BROTHERS March 28, The Florida Theatre DARK STAR ORCHESTRA March 29, St. Aug. Amphitheatre CASTING CROWNS March 30, Daily’s Place The TRIBUTE April 6, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ANITRA JAY April 6, Riverside Arts Market BOZ SCAGGS April 10, The Florida Theatre KISS April 12, Veterans Memorial Arena MIDLAND April 12, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DAVE ALVIN, JIMMIE DALE GILMORE, The GUILTY ONES April 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall KANE BROWN April 13, St. Augustine Amphitheatre KENNY CHESNEY April 13, Daily’s Place TAB BENOIT April 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall EDWIN McCAIN April 17, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall LEON BRIDGES, JESS GLYNNE April 17, St. Aug. Amp. SAM RIGGS April 18, Jack Rabbits TINSLEY ELLIS April 19, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SANTANA April 20, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ________________________________________ To list your band’s gig, send time, date, location (street, city or neighborhood), admission and a contact number to Marlene Dryden, email mdryden@folioweekly.com or 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Space-available basis. Deadline noon Wed. for next Wed. publication.

FOLIO FOOD St. Augustine gets a permanent FOOD TRUCK PARK

IT TAKES A

VILLAGE

L to R: Brendan and Kelly Schneck (Big Island Bowls/New York Beach Bagel), Matt Lennon (The Loving Cup), Matt Tierney (Pele’s Wood Fire), Jerry Asker (Funkadelic)

Photos by Christine Cousart

THE VILLAGE GARDEN FOOD TRUCK PARK 1480 Old A1A S., St. Augustine, facebook.com/TheVillageGardenFTP

BRENDAN AND KELL KELLY LLYY SC SCHN SCHNECK ECK CK HA HATC HATCHED TCHED the plot in Hawaii. The couple had met while attending Flagler College and moved to the Central Pacific after graduation. They spent those first few professional years working for a wilderness therapy program for atrisk youth. “So much self-care starts with the food you put in your body,” said Kelly, as she showed Folio Weekly around their just-opened St. Augustine food truck park, The Village Garden. “That’s when we got the idea for Big Island Bowls. Now we’re known as the healthy food truck.” They returned to Kelly’s native Northeast Florida five years ago, and Big Island Bowls was born. First it was a local food truck, then it became a Gainesville restaurant. Most recently, the business that Brendan and Kelly built became the anchor of The Village Garden. The Garden, which opened Dec. 15, features four permanent food trucks and a coffee window, as well as space for two rotating food trucks. A central court provides seating in the form of roughly a dozen bistro-style tables and chairs. The open-air space will eventually host live music and other events. Joining Big Island Bowls on the half-acre plot is another Schneck truck, New York Beach Bagel (Brendan celebrates his NY roots by importing fresh bagels from the Empire State), and a hand-picked selection of friends: Pele’s Wood Fire, Funkadelic and The Loving Cup. “We were already super-familiar with all of them,” Brendan explained. “We wanted to bring in the best food trucks we could. Everyone who’s

h is i super-talented l d and d excellent lll here at their crafts. And it’s not stuff you can get everywhere. I mean, there are something like 328 food trucks registered in Jacksonville alone. We’ve been in this long enough that we know which truck owners we wanted to work with.” The Schnecks originally had their eye on St. Augustine Beach real estate, but that city’s council rebuffed their overtures. The current site is a compromise, situated over the Bridge of Lions and beyond the St. Augustine Lighthouse, but just shy of the Beach border. The St. Johns County land was previously blighted by the derelict hulk of Big Joe’s Restaurant. The Village Garden team had to rezone and redevelop the property. The entire process took some two years from start to finish, but Kelly reckons it’s well worth it. “We saw a need for this,” she said. “It’s hard being a food truck owner. There’s literally nowhere you’re legally allowed to set up and conduct business.” And, although the concept of a permanent locale seems to defeat the purpose of wheels, the Schnecks’ fellow food-truckers are enjoying their slice of terra firma. “You’ve got pros and cons with food trucks,” says Matt Tierney, owner of Pele’s Wood Fire. On one hand, you’re mobile so you can go where the action is. “But that leads to immense wear and tear. [The food truck park] is a beautiful thing, because you have the resources here. That lets you focus on capturing an audience.” The Village Garden’s resident barista Matt Lennon knows all about the trials and tribulations of life on

h road. d The owner off The Loving L i the Cup, which occupies the Garden’s sole ‘storefront’ (a 70-square-foot coffee kiosk), is happy to be sedentary. “I’ve had two coffee trucks,” Lennon confided. “Sold my first; second bit the dust in Michigan. Highways up there aren’t friendly! I had outfitted an Airstream just in time to hit a huge pothole ... We got all twisted up. It was a mess, so I just let it go.” Like his Village Garden partners, however, Lennon’s ramblin’ and rovin’ days aren’t entirely finished. He intends to continue working music festivals around the country. (“That’s my bread-and-butter,” he said.) The Schnecks are also ready to venture out when opportunities present themselves. They have a second Big Island Bowls food truck dedicated to catering and events. Tierney finds Brendan and Kelly’s concept as rejuvenating for visitors as it is for vendors. “Their vision with this fixed location is a fresh idea,” he said. “It offers a variety of food at a set location. You’ve got your variety plus your staples. People like that kind of consistency.” The Schnecks are also betting the location and atmosphere will appeal to locals and tourists alike. “It’s being able to enjoy a fresh, local meal outdoors in a community space,” Kelly said. “It’s really cool how many people are biking and skateboarding here, bringing their families and pets, showing up in their swimsuits. Everyone appreciates the beachy outdoor vibe: family, friends and a bunch of great food.” Georgio Valentino mail@folioweekly.com

DECEMBER 26, 2018-JANUARY 1, 2019 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 29

FOLIO COOKING

Chef Bill loves college football … FOOD!

BOWL ’EM OVER

STILL STUFFED FROM CHRISTMAS MEGAfeasting? If so, you best hit up the gym, go for a run, do some yoga or something physical to burn off a few of those excess calories, because the holiday eating season ain’t over yet. The galas and parties just keep chugging along, and the week ahead holds many more outstanding excuses to celebrate a wonderful life through the joys of gorging oneself. I’m not a big New Year’s Eve partier or a New Year’s Day brunch kinda guy. The simple reason: I’ve spent most celebration days working. While others anticipate traditional party days and eves with great relish, to me they’re a way to make extra cash before the restaurant industry’s “slow season.” That being said, I’m still in a great mood this week. Ya wanna know why? ’Cause college football bowl season is here! You know, it seems like the span of time between the conclusion of the regular college football season until bowl play begins drags on for months. ESPN bores me for the first time since September. Where are the scores? The upsets? The injury reports? Where’s the drama!? Yeah, yeah, I get it—there’s still the NFL, but the Jags have definitely ruined professional football for me this year. I really don’t care if other teams are having great years—at this point, I despise them all. Yet that’s OK, because the college bowls satisfy my football needs and make me famished. The way I see it, one good bowl leads to another. So while others may enjoy extravagant end-of-the-year meals, I’ll be binging on vittles designed to be served in a bowl. Let’s call these “bowl eligible” eats. The possibilities are boundless. Chili springs to mind. A big steaming “bowl of red,” topped with mounds of sour cream, stacks of avocado slices and citrusy pickled red onions. Or maybe a palate-searing bowl of green curry mussels, emitting funky earthy aromas of fish sauce and lemongrass? So good! How about a superrich, bubbling caldron of Madeira and truffle-oil-spiked chicken pot-pie? Are you on the bowl train with me? How can you resist, especially with my green chili mac &

cheese recipe? It does require a little skill, though. Step 1: Make a basic béchamel or white sauce. Once the cheese is added, it becomes mornay or cheese sauce. Heat a large sauce pan on medium heat and melt 5 tablespoons of butter. Next, whisk 1/2 cup of flour into the butter; whisk for about 2 minutes. Then slowly pour in 4 cups of warm milk. The sauce will slowly thicken. Keep whisking to avoid lumps. Season with 1/2 teaspoon salt, a pinch of white pepper and a pinch of nutmeg. Whisk until smooth and voilà! Now you can transform the béchamel into mornay.

CHEF BILL’S GREEN CHILI MAC & CHEESE Ingredients • 4 poblano chilis, roasted, stemmed, seeded, peeled and small diced • 1 garlic clove, minced • 3 shallots, brunoise • 1 to 2 cups of each: béchamel, compté, white cheddar, parmesan and gruyere • 2 tsp. chipotle powder • 1 tsp. cumin, ground • Panko, ground as needed • About half a box of elbows or any appropriate pasta, cooked • Salt & pepper to taste Directions 1. Sweat the shallots; add garlic, poblano, chipotle and cumin. 2. Make the mornay sauce; taste for proper cheese amounts. 3. Stir pepper mixture into cheese sauce. Adjust seasonings. 4. Mix with elbow pasta. 5. Spoon into a large bowl, top with panko, gratinée under the broiler. Until we cook again,

Chef Bill Thompson cheffedup@folioweekly.com ___________________________________ You can email Chef Bill Thompson, owner/chef of Fernandina Beach’s Amelia Island Culinary Academy, at cheffedup@ folioweekly.com, to get inspired and get your menus Cheffed-Up!

FOLIO COOKING’S GROCERY COMMUNITY EARTH FARE 11901 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 250, Arlington GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET 2007 Park St., Riverside

30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 26, 2018-JANUARY 1, 2019

NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKETS 11030 Baymeadows Rd. 10000 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin 1585 N. Third St., Jax Beach

JACKSONVILLE FARMERS MARKET 1810 W. Beaver St., Westside

PUBLIX MARKETS 1033 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine 2033 Riverside Ave. 4413 Town Ctr. Pkwy., Ste. 100

NASSAU HEALTH FOODS 833 T.J. Courson Rd., Fernandina

THE SAVORY MARKET 474380 S.R. 200, Fernandina

ROWE’S 1670 Wells Rd., Orange Park 8595 Beach Blvd., Southside TERRY’S PRODUCE Buccaneer Trail, Fernandina WHOLE FOODS 10601 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin

FOLIO BEER FOLIO BEER’S BREWERY COMMUNITY

HOME FOR THE

HOLIDAYS

AARDWOLF BREWING COMPANY 1461 Hendricks Ave., San Marco AMELIA TAVERN RESTAURANT & BREWPUB 318 Centre St., Fernandina Beach ANCIENT CITY BREWING 3420 Agricultural Ctr. Dr., St. Augustine

Our Christmas beer series ENDS IN AMERICA

ANHEUSER-BUSCH 1100 Ellis Rd. N., Northside ATLANTIC BEACH BREWING COMPANY 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 3, Atlantic Beach BEARDED BUFFALO BREWING COMPANY 1012 King St., Downtown BOG BREWING COMPANY 218 W. King St., St. Augustine BOLD CITY BREWERY 2670 Rosselle St., Ste. 7, Riverside BOLD CITY DOWNTOWN 109 E. Bay St., Jacksonville BOTTLENOSE BREWING 9700 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, Southside DOG ROSE BREWING CO. 77 Bridge St., St. Augustine ENGINE 15 BREWING CO. DOWNTOWN 633 Myrtle Ave. N., Jacksonville

WELL, CHRISTMAS HAS COME AND GONE AGAIN. You’re probably already munching those Christmas dinner leftovers and looking for a cold beer to wash them down. If you’ve been reading our holiday beer series, you have a good idea of some awesome Belgian, German, Austrian or British brews. If you’re more interested in wholesome, home-brewed goodness, there are literally dozens of holiday beers available from breweries right here in the good ol’ U.S. of A. And, like holiday beers around the world, American brews have (almost) as much history as the holiday that inspired them. Anchor Brewing Company of San Francisco is often credited with brewing one of the first Christmas beers in the U.S. The brewery, whose roots go back to 1871, introduced its iconic Christmas Ale in 1975. The highly hopped ale was conceived as a modified version of its alreadypopular Liberty Ale—but the recipe is subtly changed each year. (Indeed, it’s a fiercely guarded company secret.) So, while today’s Christmas Ale may share a name with its nearly 45-year-old predecessor, it certainly tastes much different. Still, if you’re looking for an authentic American holiday brew, you can’t go wrong with this dark, thick, malt-forward ale redolent with piney hop flavor. Though many may argue that Anchor was the first American brewery to make a Christmas beer, old advertisements seem to tell a different story. An ad for Dubuque Malting’s “Extra Pale” Xmas Brew graces page four of the Dubuque Daily Herald’s Dec. 24, 1895 issue. In 1915, an ad in an unknown publication extols the Peter Barmann

Brewery of Kingston, New York for producing a beer called Salvator. The name means “savior” in Latin and is usually associated with Lent or other Christian fasts. Another brewery said to have brewed a holiday beer before Anchor was Miller Brewing Company out of Milwaukee. A few years after Prohibition ended, many states banned any reference to Christmas or Santa Claus on the labels of beer. While many holiday brews have a decidedly gentile slant, New York’s Shmaltz Brewing Company has created something for the Jewish holiday partiers to celebrate with. It’s Chanukah, Hanukkah: Pass the Beer! Jeremy Cowan launched Shmaltz in 1996 by with line of certified kosher beers dubbed He’Brew. Pass the Beer is a dark, sweet ale full of flavors: chocolate, vanilla and even a touch of coconut. Anderson Valley Brewing Company was founded in Boonville, California in 1987. The brewery is known for being the first to revive and can the nearly extinct style of beer known as gose (gozuh). Its winter warmer, dubbed Winter Solstice, is another widely applauded brew. Drinkers can expect to taste vanilla, caramel, toffee and nutty malts, with just a touch of hops. America hasn’t always had a warm relationship with Christmas—it was actually illegal to celebrate the holiday in some settlements during the late 1600s—yet Americans have always enjoyed a healthy relationship with beer. And for that we can all be thankful. From my family to yours, have a very happy holiday season. Marc Wisdom marc@folioweekly.com

ENGINE 15 BREWING CO. 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217, Jax Beach FISHWEIR BREWING CO. 1183 Edgewood Ave. S., Jacksonville GREEN ROOM BREWING, LLC 228 Third St. N., Jax Beach HYPERION BREWING COMPANY 1740 Main St. N., Springfield INTUITION ALE WORKS 929 E. Bay St., Downtown MAIN & SIX BREWING COMPANY 1636 Main St. N., Northside OLD COAST ALES 300 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine PINGLEHEAD BREWING COMPANY 12 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park RAGTIME TAVERN SEAFOOD & GRILL 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach REVE BREWING 1229 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach RUBY BEACH BREWING 131 First Ave N., Jax Beach RIVER CITY BREWING COMPANY 835 Museum Cir., Southbank SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY 9735 Gate Pkwy., Southside S J BREWING CO. 463646 S.R. 200, Ste. 13, Yulee SOUTHERN SWELLS BREWING CO. 1312 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach TABULA RASA BREWING 2385 Corbett St., Northside VETERANS UNITED CRAFT BREWERY 8999 Western Way, Ste. 104, Southside WICKED BARLEY BREWING COMPANY 4100 Baymeadows Rd. DECEMBER 26, 2018-JANUARY 1, 2019 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 31

PETS FOLIO LIVING

LOCAL PET EVENTS & ADOPTABLES PETCO ADOPTIONS • Cats and dogs are available for adoption from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. on Saturday, Dec. 29 at Petco, 463713 S.R. 200, Yulee, 225-0014. LOVE ME TRUE RESCUE • The facility provides a home for kittens and cats before they find a forever home. Adoptions are held every Saturday, 11 a.m.3 p.m. at 5150 Palm Valley Rd., Ste. 403, Ponte Vedra, lovemetruerescue.com. They’re looking for adult volunteers, too, so do a mitzvah and sign up. Email lovemetruerescue@gmail.com.

DAVI

Behind every good human is an AWESOME PET waiting to share its story

PETS LIKE ME:

GIZMO GIZMO WAS A FOSTER CAT WHEN HE WAS adopted. He went to a new home, a bit nervous and shy at first. Now, the distinguished tabby reacts to life as though he’s pleasantly buzzed on good catnip. Turns out, chatting with his humans is much more interesting than hiding under the dining room table. GRANDMASTER Davi: What advantages do older cats have over kittens? Gizmo: For starters, we’re litter boxtrained. We have intelligent talks with humans. We also enjoy the finer things in life, like nap time, heating pads and water fountains. Sum up your life in one sentence. Sleep, snuggle, snack, strut. What food do you crave most often? Rotisserie chicken—fresh—not day-old. What’s the best part about being a senior? Being comfortable in my own fur. I’ve mellowed as I aged, I know what I like. I’m easy-going. I’m the ideal companion. What question would you ask your human? I’d ask my papa why he shaves his face. I’ve never understood that. What’s best about being a family member? Knowing I belong, that my presence brings joy.

OVERSET

Around more than a decade—about 60 cat years—Gizmo’s at the top of his game. He’s a quirky fella, and that’s a good thing. Senior cats are very much like senior humans. They’ve learned to enjoy life’s pleasures, looking for affection and warmth, regular meals and a comfy place to live.

THEY’RE AGED TO PERFECTION Senior cats are mature, not mischievous. Beyond the rambunctious kitten stage, they tend to lead a peaceful existence, they nap longer, and don’t get into much trouble. THEY’RE FULL OF LOVE Senior cats have loved and know how to love. They find joy in a clean bed, fresh food and water, and their favorite people to nuzzle. THEY KNOW WHO THEY ARE With senior cats, what you see is what you get. They’ve already grown into their personalities and most likely know and abide by the rules, like not attacking folks’ feet as they walk by. THEY’RE CHILL Senior cats aren’t into sliding across kitchen countertops or leaping on draperies. They’ve learned mellow is more satisfying than silly.

IRIS

EVER WONDERED WHO INSPIRED THE GOO GOO DOLLS’ HIT SONG? • Me! I just want you to know who I am. I love cuddling (some might even call me a lap cat) and napping. I also like playing with wand toys and jamming with my roommates in Group Room 5. I play guitar and drums AND sing. Want a serenade? Stop by Jacksonville Humane Society, 8464 Beach Blvd., Southside and follow the music! Go to jaxhumane.org. NASSAU COUNTY ANIMAL SERVICES ADOPT A PET • There are oodles of dogs and cats waiting for a nice, warm, clean, happy home. Viewing hours are every Tuesday through Friday, 11 a.m.-4 p.m.; every Saturday, 11 a.m.-3 p.m., at 86078 License Rd., Fernandina Beach, 530-6150, nassaucountyfl.com. Downloadable application.

ADOPTABLE ADOPTABLES

TYSON

THEY’RE WISE Seniors have been there, done that. They don’t destroy furniture and chew cables anymore—who has time for that? THEY NEED YOU & YOU NEED THEM Senior cats know how to be part of a family because they’ve already been part of one. So if you’re of a mind to adopt a cat, make sure to spend some time with some of the older cats in the shelter. You might just realize what you really want is companionship, something older cats are experts at giving. Davi mail@folioweekly.com _________________________________ Davi the Dachshund quotes the wise Eleanor Roosevelt: “Today is the oldest you’ve ever been and the youngest you’ll ever be again.” Wise words.

PET TIP: I RESOLVE … SOME FOLKS MAKE NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS AND BREAK ’EM BY JANUARY 5TH … But that soulful-eyed, tail-wagging or purring pet of yours is too noble and true to trash a solemn vow. Pets’ resolutions can be long-lasting and good for them–and for you! To wit: EXERCISE MORE • Your feline/canine pals want to get out of the house and let loose, too. Go with them. Throw a stick, chase something, climb something. Breathe the air. BE MORE CHILL • Once in a while, leave a thought unspoken. Help your pet learn to not bark at every thing she sees. Silence can be golden. RESPECT MY SURROUNDINGS • A sofa leg or new Jimmy Choo are fun to gnaw on, sure, but it’s not worth the tears and recriminations when the humans find your paw-work. Chaw approved items, like certain bones and toys. And people can do the same–don’t ingest harmful stuff. PRACTICE THE GOLDEN RULE • It’s simple. Treat others as you would be treated. Fewer bites, scratches, gun battles, hurt kids, hurt parents … you know this. Please keep the peace. 32 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 26, 2018-JANUARY 1, 2019

ADOPTABLES

HEY THERE! • Like my genius namesake, Neil deGrasse, I’m a science whiz. I can calculate the velocity of a tennis ball AND fetch it. Want to know the chemical makeup of that Milk-Bone? No prob. In my downtime, I love snoozing with soft blankets and working on chew toys. I like it when kids in the Jax Humane Society Pawsitive Reading program read to me. See how to adopt me at jaxhumane. org! Or stop in at 8464 Beach Blvd., Southside.

NEWS OF THE WEIRD NICE HONOR

Former Toronto Blue Jays star Jose Bautista has an honor for his résumé, thanks to entomologist Bob Anderson, Canadian Museum of Nature. On Nov. 22, reported AP, Anderson named a newly discovered beetle species after the third baseman and right fielder. Sicoderus bautistai is a small black weevil found in the Dominican Republic, where Bautista is from. “I thought what a great way to kind of recognize [Bautista’s] contributions to Blue Jays baseball and to Canadian baseball, really, as a whole,” said Anderson, who’s named about 120 weevils over his career.

NOT IN THE JOB DESCRIPTION

Katherine Leigh Mehta, 26, of Arlington, Texas, accepted a gig to photograph a wedding at The Springs Event Venue in Weatherford on Nov. 24. But she was the star of the show when some folks found her having sex with guest at the venue, according to WSRZ Radio. A security guard called Parker County Sheriff ’s deputies, who found Mehta yelling by a fountain, according to their report. She then walked to a tree and urinated. While she sat in the back of a patrol car, Mehta screamed: “Y’all families will be dead by Christmas. Y’alls daughters are dead. My dad is going to find out about this, and y’all are ... dead. D-E-A-D.” At the jail, officers found a bottle of anxiety pills, which they believe she mixed with alcohol, causing her erratic behavior. She faces charges of public intoxication and obstruction/retaliation.

WORKED FOR A WHILE

All good things end, and so it seems for Robert Craig Davis, 70, of Key Largo. South Florida drivers reported a Chrysler Pacifica minivan rigged with a clever device that lowered a black cloth over its license plate when it went through an automated toll plaza. On Nov. 17, according to FLKeysNews.com, an offduty Florida highway patrolman saw the vehicle passing through Bird Road toll plaza; he alerted fellow troopers. Sgt. Carlos Vanegas stopped Davis, and found a remote control to operate the license plate cover. “The actions of the defendant

showed an ongoing course of conduct with intent to defraud the SunPass toll system,” trooper Dennis Gallo reported. Davis was charged with organized fraud and petit theft.

NO BIG FIVE-OH

In The Hague, Netherlands, motivational speaker Emile Ratelband, 69, will not turn 50 on his next birthday, as he’d hoped. Ratelband petitioned the court in November for an age change, saying he’s discriminated against in the career realm and on Tinder. But the AP reported on Dec. 3, a Dutch court rejected his plea to become 49, saying he didn’t convince judges he’d been discriminated against and that “Mr. Ratelband is at liberty to feel 20 years younger than his real age and to act accordingly,” but noting changing his age would nullify any number of records from public registers. Ratelband hopes to appeal.

BUT, CHEESECAKE!

Things got “a little hectic” in Clarendon, Virginia, on Dec. 5 when a lot of delivery drivers convened at Cheesecake Factory in response to a 40th anniversary promo offering free cheesecake slices, available only to those who ordered on DoorDash, ARLnow.com reported. Drivers doubleparked and crammed in the restaurant to pick up orders. Arlington County police and medics responded to reports of fights and disorderly conduct, resulting in one arrest.

CRAZY AS A GOON

Animal rights group PETA launched a campaign Dec. 4 designed to remove common animal-related idioms from the English language. CBS News reports the group tweeted alterations to phrases that are verbal vestiges of “speciesism,” perpetuating harmful messages. PETA’s alternatives: “Bring home the bacon”— “bring home the bagels.” “Take the bull by the horns”—“take the flower by the thorns.” “Kill two birds with one stone”— “feed two birds with one scone.” Reaction on social media was swift. Maybe PETA should have let sleeping bags lie. weirdnewstips@amuniversal.com

DECEMBER 26, 2018-JANUARY 1, 2019 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 33

DALE RATERMANN’s Folio Weekly Crossword presented by

Serving Excellence Since 1928 Member American Gem Society

San Marco 2044 San Marco Blvd. 398-9741

Ponte Vedra

THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA

330 A1A North 280-1202

Avondale 3617 St. Johns Ave. 388-5406

FOLIO WEEKLY CROSSWORD 1

20 24

43 49

66 69

56 Actress Tyler 57 Duval County Court rapper 59 UF major, briefly 61 Hero-worship 63 URL lead-in 64 St. Johns Town Center tech store 66 Mideast region 67 Fionn MacCool’s offerings 68 Sacred hymn 69 Loads 70 Local punk band: The ____ 71 Last name in ice cream 72 Feminine suffix

DOWN

39 10 11 12 13

31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38

ACROSS

31 Party memento 36 Its 2020 convention will be in Charlotte 39 DC TV 14 Hidden supply 15 Jumbo Shrimp stat 16 Bread spreads 17 Yuletide tune 18 Walnut Inn, e.g. 19 Muslim woman’s wear 20 Pueblo people 22 Short of shut 24 Homeland airer 27 JIA listing 29 ’60s war zone 32 Attila follower 33 Diminish 34 Texter’s qualifier 35 Nautical position 37 Part of TGIF 38 Uppity sort 39 7 on the Mohs scale 41 Hair-raising 43 Beaches Green Market ear 47 ACC tiebreakers 50 “Hands off!” 51 Breaking Bad channel 54 Cut of beef

34 37

34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 26, 2018-JANUARY 1, 2019

WJCT watchdog Bond rating TiVo forerunner “Yikes!” Browser button Second coming Packing PAC Group of travelers Blue hue Bad-mouth ____ diem Fine, to NASA Secretive org.

21 TIAA Bank Field snack 23 Andrew or Malik 24 Ex-Magic star, familiarly 25 Video streaming site 26 Draft status 28 NPR’s Glass 29 El ____ (warm ocean current) 30 Frenzied 31 Fictional Dick 36 EMT destinations 38 Male delivery 40 Jerks 42 Ragu rival

44 Elongated O 45 “OMG, that’s enough!” 46 Politely 47 Annie, notably 48 Play a fife 49 Like many nuts 51 Take flight 52 Some First Coast Opera singers 53 Tidies up 55 Tests the water 58 Pond growth 60 Baseball Grounds souvenir 62 Rep. Lawson, e.g. 65 Piece of Jags gear

SOLUTION TO 12.19.18 PUZZLE S I N G

I R A N

P S Y C H

O H A R A

D A T E

I A M S

R E B A R E N D O O W I S N O A S K H I P

T E S L A T A P I R O L D

E D T A H I H S U S Y M A M O P A R P E Y R C A R O W O M E S P R E E S L

I N T R O S

D O Z E N

S V U

E M L O R A J A T I S H H E A N I E Y S S O L S U E

B A I A T Y E A S E T O N D A D S L A N E

T A R O

W A S P

N I S A N

S T A L K

E M I T

T A L C

Folio Weekly helps you connect with that dreamboat you saw in the produce aisle or the hot hunk by the lifeguard stand. Go to folioweekly.com/i-saw-u.html, fill out the FREE form correctly (40 words or fewer, dammit) by 5 p.m. THURSDAY for the next Wednesday’s FW. And who knows? Even the losers get lucky sometimes!

Hi, boys and girls! Here goes: Wednesday, Dec. 26 is BOXING DAY! (We still can’t explain that.) Thursday, Dec. 27 is NATIONAL FRUITCAKE DAY! Sunday, Dec. 30 is … brace yourselves … BACON DAY! Use Folio Weekly’s handy ISUs to find love!

Words fail us. It’s the fact that someone, somewhere, saw fit to set aside an entire 24 hours to praise bacon. We’re speechless. Go to folioweekly.com/i-saw-u.html and do these steps:

One: Write a brief headline so the person recalls the moment you met, like: “ISU wandering the chutes.” Two: Describe the person, like, “You: Holding lettuce, tomato, white bread and mayo.” Three: Describe yourself, like, “Me: Recognizing you were on a bacon quest. I quietly crept away.” Four: Describe the moment, like, “I supposed that we might have lived a blissful life together were it not for your predilection for pork products.” Five: Send a 40-WORD message to that special unknown quantity. No names, emails, websites, etc. Find love with our ISUs at folioweekly.com/i-saw-u.html! GARROD’S MOM, GREAT SMILE You: Long coat, boots, walking Garrod (white Maltese) outside Flying Iguana; stopped, said hello. Me: Red long-sleeved shirt. I petted Garrod, we talked, you smiled–something clicked. Let’s meet again. Maybe a “rare thing” happening. When: Dec. 12. Where Beaches Town Center, outside Flying Iguana. #1714-1219 AFC EAST HAIL MARY You: Pretty ponytail through Bills hat; passionate about your team. Me: Mind racing under Jets hat when you appeared. We talked for a minute before you left with friends. Our teams suck. We wouldn’t. When: Oct. 14. Where: Hoptinger, Jax Beach. #1713-1107 RED HAIR MONSTER HOOTS You: Dancing; one of the twins fell out your top -) Me: Accordion player, tripped on mic cord, hit my head! Awoke from coma, thought of you! I’ll be at the Pot Sunday, boogie-ready. Be there. When: July 4, 1998. Where: Crab Pot. #1712-1024 I WONDER U Saturday thrift-store shopping. U said u liked my shirt and showed me your ankle tattoo. Very symbolic meeting. Wish we’d talked a little more. Let’s trade bootlegs. Acknowledge me. When: Sept. 22. Where: Betty Griffin Center Thrift Shoppe, St. Augustine. #1711-1003 HARVARD AVE. UBER RIDER You: Tall, attractive student advisor. Me: Drove you from friend’s house. Thanks for $10 tip. I liked our conversations along the way; key things in common. Talk again? If you feel same, respond. When: Sept. 8. Where: Riverside. #1710-0919 GOLDEN CORRAL SAN JOSE You: Dining solo, booth behind us, blonde hair/beard, gorgeous blue eyes, blue shirt, jeans, white van. Me: With mom, son; brunette, Jags shirt, black shorts, black car. Let’s meet. Single? Coffee? When: Aug. 18. Where: Golden Corral. #1709-0829 PETITE BRUNETTE ON BICYCLE You: Bicycling. Me: Driving. I stopped, asked for directions. You seemed shy but friendly. Coffee at Bold Bean? When: Aug. 7. Where: Avondale. #1708-0822

SOUTHERN GROUNDS BLEND You: Pretty lady, khaki shorts, print top, recommended dark roast coffee. Me: Blue shirt, jean shorts. Single? Would’ve liked to chat, but with yoga friends. Namaste! When: July 29. Where: San Marco Southern Grounds. #1707-0808 HAWAIIAN SHIRT, GIN & TONIC Outside bar. You said my drink looked good. Me: “Only drink worth bootlegging.” You: Sharp, white slacks, heels, blue blouse; late friends. Wish they’d stood you up; we would’ve had fun. Try again? When: July 18. Where: PV Pussers. #1706-0725 SUN-RAY FRONT LINE You: Cool couple. Man, button-up. Woman, hip glasses, platforms. Us: Tall brunette, floral dress. Man, average height, white button-up. In chaotic Hearts Beat Loud crowd. Bonded over Sun-Ray’s beauty. Dig your vibe; meet again? When: July 8. Where: SunRay Cinema. #1705-0711 FIREHOUSE “O” You: Silver shorts, black hat, orange nails. Me: Camo hat, brown T-shirt. Wanted to talk; you left. Thought of you rest of day. Make it every day? When: 12:30 p.m. June 21. Where: 5 Points Firehouse Subs. #1704-0627 BLACK 4-DOOR CADILLAC You watched me putting a shot back in the back of my car. You stopped and had your flashers on and I was too shy to stop. I wish I had. When: June 13. Where: Home Depot Lane Ave. #1703-0620

ISU

Connex Made SANDY TOES & A ROSE You: Mocked my princess-wedding dreams, then strode over sand, rose in hand. Young men admired your moxie. Me: Sure you’re a romantic. Hard to surf the pier’s 1-2’ without longboard. Hang yours in my garage? When: May 21. Where: Jax Beach Pier. #1702-0620 EASTER SUNDAY: THIS IS SILLY You: Serving, tall, tattoos, beautiful eyes; sweeping close by on purpose? Me: Dirty blonde, striped dress, dark lipstick, lunch, parents. Eyes met. Should’ve left my number. Can I sit in your section next time? When: April 1. Where: Black Sheep. #1701-0606 DECEMBER 26, 2018-JANUARY 1, 2019 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35

FREEWILL ASTROLOGY

EDWIN HUBBLE, WYOMING, SIA, VOLTAIRE & SHAKIRA ARIES (March 21-April 19): In 2019, you’ll be able to blend your knack for creating more stability with an urge to explore and seek greater freedom. How might this unusual confluence be expressed in practical ways? Maybe you’ll travel in an effort to reconnect with ancestral roots. Or a faraway ally or influence will help you feel more at home in the world. It’s possible you’ll establish a stronger foundation, which will bolster your courage and inspire you to be free of a limitation. What do you think? TAURUS (April 20-May 20): On average, a total eclipse of the sun happens every 18 months. How often is a total solar eclipse visible from a specific location on Earth? Typically, once every 375 years. In 2019, the magic moment will be July 2 for people in Chile and Argentina. Throughout the coming year, Tauruses all over the world will experience other kinds of rare and wonderful events at a higher rate than usual: divine interventions, mysterious miracles, catalytic epiphanies, unexpected breakthroughs and amazing graces. Expect more marvelous. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “The world’s full of people who have stopped listening to themselves,” wrote mythologist Joseph Campbell. It’s imperative that you NOT be one of those folks. 2019 should be the Year of Listening Deeply to Yourself. Be on high alert for inner inklings, unconscious longings and the still, small voice at your destiny’s heart. If you do that, you’ll find I’m right when I say you’re smarter than you realize. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Jackson Pollock is considered to be a pioneer in drip painting technique, which involves drizzling and splashing paint on canvases that are laid flat on the floor. It made him famous. Truth is, Pollock got inspired to pursue what became his signature style after he saw an exhibit by artist Janet Sobel, who was the real pioneer. I see 2019 as a year when the Janet Sobel-like aspects of your life get their due. Overdue appreciation will arrive. Credit you deserve but haven’t fully realized will finally be received. You’ll be acknowledged and recognized in surprising ways. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): As the crow flies, Wyoming is almost 1,000 miles from the Pacific Ocean and 1,00-plus miles from the Gulf of Mexico, part of the Atlantic Ocean. A surprise: In Wyoming’s northwest corner, the North Two Ocean Creek halves into tributaries–one flows to the Pacific and one reaches the Gulf. So an enterprising fish could swim from one ocean to the other through this waterway. Make North Two Ocean Creek your official metaphor for 2019, to symbolize your life’s turning point. It will remind you that you’ll have the power to launch an epic journey in one of two directions. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Softening your current relationship with perfectionism will be a key assignment for you in 2019. Here are some observations from wise folks who’ve studied this. Voltaire: “The perfect is the enemy of the good.” Rebecca Solnit: “Perfection is a stick with which to beat the possible.” Elizabeth Gilbert: Perfectionism is “the high-end version of fear.” “Nothing is less efficient than perfectionism.” “It’s better to live your own life imperfectly than to imitate someone else’s perfectly.” LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In 1682, Peter Alexeyevich became co-Tsar of Russia. He was 10 years old. His 36 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 26, 2018-JANUARY 1, 2019

24-year-old half-sister Sophia had a hole cut in the back of his side of the dual throne. That way she could sit behind him, out of sight, and whisper guidance as he discussed political matters with allies. Could wangle a comparable arrangement in 2019? Are there wise confidants, mentors or helpers from whom you could draw continuous counsel? Seek them. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The body of the violin has an f-shaped hole on either side of the strings. They enable the sound that resonates inside to project out. A thousand years ago, the earliest ancestor of the modern violin had round holes. Later, they were half-moons, then c-shaped, and finally the f-shape. Why the change? Scientific analysis reveals the modern form lets more air out from inside, producing a more powerful sound. My analysis of your life in 2019 suggests it’ll be time to upgrade from your metaphorical equivalent of the c-shaped holes to the f-shaped holes. A small shift lets you generate more power and resonance. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Sagittarian singer-songwriter Sia has had great success, earning nine Grammy nods and amassing a $20 million fortune. Among the superstars for whom she composed hit tunes are Beyoncé, Rihanna and Flo Rida. She’s also had failures. Top recording artists like Adele and Shakira have commissioned songs only to turn down what she created. In 2016, Sia got some sweet revenge. She released an album on which she sang many of those rejected songs of hers. It’s sold more than two million copies. Do you know what it’s like to have your gifts and skills ignored, unused or rebuffed? The months ahead are a good time to express them for your own benefit. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): A typical fluffy white cumulus cloud weighs 216,000 pounds. A dark cumulonimbus storm cloud is 106 million pounds, almost 490 times heavier. It’s filled with more water. Which is better, a fluffy cumulus or a stormy cumulonimbus? Neither. Truth is, the cumulonimbus is a blessing, a substantial source of moisture, a gift to growing things. For you, 2019 will have more metaphorical resemblances to stormy than fluffy. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Just 100 ago, most astronomers thought there was only one galaxy in the vast universe: our Milky Way. Other models for the universe were virtually heretical. In the 1920s, astronomer Edwin Hubble produced research proving the existence of many more galaxies. Today, it’s estimated that there are at least 400 billion. I wonder what currently unimaginable possibilities will be obvious to our ancestors 100 years from now. What currently unforeseen truths will be fully available to you by 2019’s end? My guess: more than ever before. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Author Elizabeth Gilbert has advice for those who want a closer relationship with the Supreme Being. “Look for God like a man with his head on fire looks for water.” I’ll expand that to apply to you when you seek any crucial lifeenhancing experience. If you genuinely believe a certain adventure, relationship or transformation is key to a central purpose, it’s not enough to be mildly into it. You need to seek your heart’s desire the way people with their heads on fire seek for water. Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

WEED

YEARS IN THE

YOUNGER READERS OF Jax Beach while the cops this column might have shut down a HempFest the wrong idea about event some 15 years this whole situation, ago. These repressed and that’s quite memories are dredged understandable. It’s up only to make clear all rather confusing, that none of this was and that’s probably supposed to happen, and by design. Some of that may help explain you may think Florida the shoddy, sporadic, took up the mantle of slapdash state of its medical marijuana present incarnation. only recently, and that Medical marijuana last year’s referendum referenda was the flavor sailed through in of the month for several solidarity with states dozen months during the Legalizing medical like Washington, Clinton Years. Most of California and the states where they’ve marijuana is A TALE Colorado, all of which passed recently did so AS OLD AS TIME made similar moves back when Biggie and during the Obama Era. Tupac were both still You may think its wide alive, and those efforts margin of victory represented a rare case of were nullified in 2001 by the Supreme Court, consensus among lawmakers who noted the which sided with the Bush Administration stark salubrious effect it had on those other in ruling that the federal prerogative states and chose to follow suit, and that transcended the will of the voters. So much 71-29 percent tally was greeted with cheers, for states’ rights, right? Sure. Hundreds of tears and the occasional fist-bump. thousands of lives were subsequently Nope. NOPE. Quite the ruined, sometimes to lethal opposite. Everyone loves effect. The most notable democracy, until they see martyr of that movement it in action. In fact, was the writer Peter the results were McWilliams (1949viewed by many 2000), author of the lawmakers with the seminal book Ain’t same kind of vague, Nobody’s Business If indescribable terror You Do: The Absurdity that the average of Consensual Crimes Jaguars fans felt in Our Free Society, when their season which remains tickets arrived in essential reading a the mail–a feeling quarter-century later. of “Well, now it’s here; His book was a God help us all.” And let’s major factor in launching be clear at the outset, for any me on the road to a career readers looking to get the medical in journalism, and I regret having marijuana card: You cannot claim PTSD simply never met him. He choked to death on his own for being a Jaguars fan. I know, it’s not fair, vomit in the bathtub after a four-year fight but the law is the law, except when it isn’t, but with lymphoma, because the AIDS medication we’ll get to that later. he was taking made him nauseated. The only The reality is, politicians throughout our thing that helped him keep food down was fine state assiduously blocked all efforts to marijuana and, well, the law is the law. Had get medical marijuana on the ballot for two he lived, however, he would’ve been sent to solid decades, using every means at their prison for pot possession anyway, so maybe he disposal, short of physical force. Oh, wait, my got off lucky. This is what I tell myself to keep bad: They used that, too. I watched activists from crying when I think of him. Repressed for the old Cannabis Action Network (which memories, etc. should really be the name of someone’s Shelton Hull YouTube channel) get rousted and roughed mail@folioweekly.com ________________________________ up at least once way back in the ’90s, while trying to get signatures for their petition at Do you have questions about medical a spot near the stadium Downtown. I was on marijuana? Let us answer them for you. Send stage, speaking at the SeaWalk Pavilion in your inquiries to mail@folioweekly.com.

MAKING

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FOLIO VOICES : BACKPAGE EDITORIAL THE SELF-PROCLAIMED BOLD NEW CITY OF THE South is neither bold nor new when it comes to criminal justice. Racism and civil rights violations pervade Jacksonville, as they have in the past. I focus now on several abuses that are systemic and continuing. Elected officials bear the blame for doing nothing about racist arrest policies and abuses of the rights of defendants and the public. Sheriff Mike Williams oversees a sheriff’s office that, for at least the past decade, made 30,000 or more arrests a year (that’s about 82 arrests on an average day). State Attorney Melissa Nelson is not only tasked with prosecuting crimes, she has another duty per her office’s website: to “ensure the pursuit of justice is done in a transparent, fair and thoughtful way.” Public defender Charlie Cofer, a retired judge, is responsible for defending arrested persons who are indigent, and accept such representation. Chief Judge of the Fourth Judicial Circuit Mark Mahon has a lower profile than the others, but all abuses concerning how courts handle defendants can principally be laid at his feet. These four individuals are aware of the problems, abuses and violations of the law I discuss here, but none of them has announced any concrete steps to address them.

MOCKERY OF

black persons tend to have lower incomes, they are unduly harmed. New York City recently concluded that its taxpayers incurred $116 million/year in extra costs because so many defendants, who were eligible for release on bail, languished in jail due to poverty. Jacksonville has never computed such costs, but they surely total millions every year.

JUSTICE

OTHER VIOLATIONS OF LAW AT TIME OF FIRST APPEARANCE

Criminal justice in Jacksonville is tainted by RACISM and CIVIL RIGHTS VIOLATIONS

THE CRIMINAL JUSTICE SYSTEM IN JACKSONVILLE IS, AND HAS BEEN, RACIST

The JSO arrests 3 to 4 percent of Jacksonville’s population each year. The percentages are higher when one excludes children, and still higher in respect to adult black males. In 2017, despite the fact that black residents of Jacksonville represent about 31 percent of the total population, 58 percent of those arrested by the JSO on felony charges (or felony plus misdemeanor charges) were black, 50 percent of persons arrested on misdemeanor charges only were black, 56 percent of persons charged with traffic crimes were black, and 78 percent of juveniles arrested by the JSO were black. The 2017 statistics were not flukes. For more than 10 years, the JSO’s own annual reports consistently show that more than half of all arrestees were black. Thus, black people in Jacksonville are at least twice as likely as others to be arrested. There are many explanations, and racism plays a major part. No Jacksonville sheriff has tried to wholly strip out the pervasive racism. All recent sheriffs were insiders—JSO employees prior to being elected. They generally do what always has been done. Proportionally, JSO has far fewer black employees than the 31 percent that would reflect the makeup of Jacksonville’s population. Plus, JSO leadership is white. JSO also enforces heavily in black neighborhoods and lightly in white ones. More than 10 ZIP codes had fewer than 100 felony arrests each in 2017, while four ZIP codes—with heavy black populations—had more than 500 felony arrests each in 2017. Past years were similar. If you over-patrol black neighborhoods and under-patrol white

ones, you will end up with racially biased arrest statistics. Since Sheriff Williams does not prioritize finding solutions to such problems, the heavy hand of the past continues to govern. In reviewing JSO information posted online, I am unable to find anything indicating that Williams is pushing to cure these racist impacts.

JACKSONVILLE’S BAIL PROCESS IS UNLAWFUL AND UNFAIR

I attended several first appearances this year and reviewed Florida law and other documents, and these are the problems I see when it comes to bail. Judge Mark Mahon, and earlier chief judges, issued written bail guidelines, intending that local judges should follow them in setting bail. These guidelines set bail amounts higher than elsewhere in Florida, which means that more local residents end up incarcerated because they cannot afford bail. No law empowered Mahon

to do this. Chief judges have simply made this their prerogative. As a result, bail policy reflects the opinions of one man, with no public input sought or allowed. Other judges need not follow these guidelines. Result: If you’re arrested, your bail depends on your judge. Judges should document all bailrelated reasoning, conclusions and acts. Florida law requires judges to consider 13 factors and make careful, individualized bail determinations. They don’t. My observations, court transcripts and the absence of any other explanatory documents suggest that local judges do not comply with Florida law concerning setting bail. Bail is set in a matter of seconds, for undisclosed reasons. If any judge does follow Florida law, it happens in secret. However, I doubt this occurs, given the absence of probative documents. Jacksonville’s current bail system is biased against the indigent. And, because

Because JSO arrests so many people (about 82 on an average day), and because Judge Mahon assigns too few judges to handle first appearances, justice ends up being slapdash. And judges end up violating the law. This is how first appearances typically unfold. An average of 41 recent arrestees are processed each morning, with an average of 41 more processed each afternoon. These sessions average one hour in length. That means each defendant gets, on average, less than two minutes of the judge’s time. During that time, the judge states the charges and determines that the arrest had probable cause—amazingly, all arrests seem to have probable cause, which suggests that judges rubberstamp the JSO. Sometimes the judge also illegally requires defendants to accept or reject plea bargains and make other decisions in the absence of attorneys. During that brief period, the judge sets bail for the defendant and announces later hearing dates. When judges appoint the public defender as counsel, it is often at the end of their dealing with defendants. For a judge to do all that in a minute or two, corners are inevitably cut. One simple solution: All judges should immediately offer to appoint the public defender as counsel. And Judge Mahon should double the number of judges assigned to first appearances. I have advocated these solutions, without success or response. Criminal justice in Jacksonville is racist. It discriminates against the indigent. It is slapdash and capricious and random. It causes excessive pretrial incarceration. It harms taxpayers. With everything taken into account, it is unjust and unlawful. All the major players need to start listening and administering justice in a lawful and careful manner. Sheriff Williams and Judge Mahon are silent on these matters, while Nelson and Cofer seem more concerned. Still, nothing has changed. Jacksonville residents—who don’t like wasting taxpayer funds while needlessly harming defendants and depriving individuals of their statutory and constitutional rights—should complain loudly, and should refuse to re-elect public officials who turn a blind eye to injustice. Curtis Lee mail@folioweekly.com __________________________________ Lee is a retired attorney who lives in Jacksonville. For several years, he has watched while local elected officials have failed to administer criminal justice fairly and in accordance with the law.

FOLIO WEEKLY welcomes Backpage submissions. They should be 1,200 words or fewer and on a topic of local interest and/or concern. Send submissions to mail@folioweekly.com. Opinions expressed on the Backpage are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Folio Weekly. DECEMBER 26, 2018-JANUARY 1, 2019 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 39