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THIS WEEK // 12.30.15-1.5.16 // VOL. 29 ISSUE 40 FROM THE EDITOR PERSON of the YEAR
URBAN PIONEER
[12]
TONY ALLEGRETTI – longtime urban core advocate and current Executive Director of the Cultural Council of Greater Jacksonville – is Folio Weekly Magazine’s Person of the Year
BY MATTHEW B. SHAW
ACTING UP
[17]
In 2015, activists and organizations across varied sectors championed IMPORTANT CAUSES in Northeast Florida
BY JOSUÉ CRUZ
FRAMING 2015
[18]
A look back at the FACES who impacted the local ARTS SCENE this year
BY CHAZ BÄCK
FEATURED ARTICLES
THE SMARTEST MAN [10] IN JACKSONVILLE POLITICS BY AG GANCARSKI 2015 was LENNY CURRY’S year
DRINK 2.0
[19]
101* DRINKS TO TRY IN NORTHEAST FLORIDA BEFORE YOU DIE *(Okay, 101 Drinks OR SO, probably more…we took the research for this issue VERY seriously.)
BEST ON THE BIG SCREEN IN 2015
[32]
5 5 6 8 10 30
MAGIC LANTERNS ARTS MUSIC LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR THE KNIFE DINING
30 33 35 36 38 39
BITE-SIZED LOOKIN’ FOR LOVE CROSSWORD/ASTRO NEWS OF THE WEIRD I SAW U CLASSIFIEDS
SUPER: Used as an adjective, as in “super smart” or “super rad”
PUBLISHER • Sam Taylor staylor@folioweekly.com / 904.260.9770 ext. 111
EDITORIAL
From the company that launched the careers of Tina Fey, Stephen Colbert, Steve Carell, Gilda Radner, Bill Murray and more, comes the next generation of the comedy world’s best and brightest in an evening of hilarious sketch e comedy and Second City’s trademark improvisation.
January 23 • 5 & 8:30 p.m. Jacksonville’s Times-Union Center
EDITOR • Matthew B. Shaw mshaw@folioweekly.com / ext. 115 SENIOR EDITOR • Marlene Dryden mdryden@folioweekly.com / ext. 131 A&E EDITOR • Daniel A. Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com / ext. 128 WRITERS-AT-LARGE Susan Cooper Eastman sceastman@folioweekly.com CARTOONIST • Tom Tomorrow CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Rob Brezsny, John E. Citrone, Brenton Crozier, Josue Cruz, Julie Delegal, Jordan Ferrell, AG Gancarski, Claire Goforth, Dan Hudak, Shelton Hull, MaryAnn Johanson, Keith Marks, Pat McLeod, Nick McGregor, Jeff Meyers, Greg Parlier, Kara Pound, Chuck Shepherd VIDEOGRAPHERS • Doug Lewis, Ron Perry
DESIGN
ART DIRECTOR • Chaz Bäck cback@folioweekly.com / ext. 116 SENIOR GRAPHIC DESIGNER • Dana Fasano dfasano@folioweekly.com / ext. 117 PHOTO EDITOR/GRAPHIC DESIGNER • Dennis Ho dho@folioweekly.com / ext. 122 DESIGN INTERN • Madison Gross design@folioweekly.com WEB CONTENT INTERN • Hudson Bäck
BUSINESS & ADMINISTRATION
BUSINESS MANAGER • Amanda Engebretsen fpiadmin@folioweekly.com / ext. 119 VICE PRESIDENT • T. Farrar Martin fmartin@folioweekly.com / ext.112
fscjartistseries.org • (904) 442-2929
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ICONIC: Just because something existed before the time of Adele does not make said person, place, or thing “iconic” JOURNEY: As used to describe rather mundane achievements, like the completion of a six-week yoga certification course AMERICANA: Plenty of legit (hey, there’s an overused word) new artists are squeezed into this genre (Milk Carton Kids, Shovels and Rope, Gillian Welch), but it’s the insufferably contrived ones (Mumford & Sons and their extraneous use of the banjo, the Lumineers/Of Monsters and Men and their extraneous uses of “heys”) who have made the word a pejorative CRAFT: From cocktails to beer to pickles to macaroni and cheese, apparently everything is now craft
@folioweekly
ARTISANAL: See above
@folioweekly
LITERALLY: There have been literally dozens of think pieces about this word’s mis/overuse and how it figuratively makes editors crazy #downtownisonfire: Suggested/more literal alternative: #downtownisonwater
FOLIO WEEKLY MAGAZINE IS PUBLISHED EVERY WEDNESDAY THROUGHOUT NORTHEAST FLORIDA. It contains opinions of contributing writers that are not necessarily the opinion of this publication. Folio Weekly Magazine welcomes editorial and photographic contributions. Calendar information must be received two weeks in advance of event date. Copyright © Folio Publishing, Inc. 2015. All rights reserved. Advertising rates and information are available on request. An advertiser purchases right of publication only. One free issue copy per person. Additional copies and back issues are $1 each at the office or $4 by U.S. mail, based on availability. First Class mail subscriptions are $48 for 13 weeks, $96 for 26 weeks and $189 for 52 weeks. Please recycle Folio Weekly. Folio Weekly Magazine is printed on recycled paper using soy-based inks.
UPON ENTERING HIS NEW OFFICE IN THE late ’90s, incoming editor of New York Times Magazine Hugo Lindgren discovered a list tacked to the wall by his recently fired predecessor, carrying the header, “Words We Don’t Say.” In 2011, Lindgren shared Kurt Anderson’s list — which included celeb, boast (meaning “have”), and don (meaning “put on”), among other cringe-inducing terms — on NYT’s website, saying, “14 years later, it’s still a pretty useful list of phony-baloney vocabulary that editors are well-advised to excise from stories.” Lindgren’s post elicited a substantial reaction. As a writer, I remember reading it with a mix of delight for the shared exasperation and mortification for my culpability in usage. Though I have yet to consecrate my own list by taping it to the wall of my office, with the help of our editorial staff, I’ve begun cataloging words (and phrases) that irk. And in the spirit of reflection and self-improvement — which seems to reverberate through everything we do during the transition from one calendar year to the next — I offer that list now: MONIKER: It’s just a name, fancy-pants
BY DAN HUDAK Folio Weekly Magazine’s TOP 10 cinematic offerings for 2015
COLUMNS + CALENDARS MAIL BRICKBATS & BOUQUETS OUR PICKS GUEST EDITORIAL FIGHTIN’ WORDS FILM
PLEASE DON’T SAY THESE THINGS IN 2016
Mobile App
For the best in Live Music, Arts, Sports, Food and Nightlife, download our DOJAX Mobile App by texting “Folio” to 77948
45 West Bay Street, Suite 103 Jacksonville, Florida 32202 PHONE 904.260.9770 FAX 904.260.9773
#: Aren’t we done with these yet? HIPSTER: Until someone can define this term, in its modern use, succinctly (dozens of articles have failed to do so), it should be banished PULL SOME ’SPRO (to mean “make an espresso”): Don’t say it, even if you’re joking That’s our list. What would you add? Matthew_B_Shaw mshaw@folioweekly.com twitter/matthew_b_shaw
THE MAIL UNDER-REPORTED ROSIE
RE: “THE COST OF SILENCE,” BY CLAIRE GOFORTH, DEC. 16 What about Rosie O’Donnell saying “I’d like to take my period blood I no longer have and write, ‘you’re all assh***s.’ I’d like to smear it all over some people’s [pro-lifers’] faces,” or it is hateful to point that out? I abhor violence and rhetoric can certainly fuel it, but there has been enough on both sides. Don’t recall the incident at Umpqua Community College, or has it gone down a memory hole as it seems to have with all the media? But the victims were Christian, so maybe it doesn’t count. Planned Parenthood hardly has a clean history when it comes to hate. Founder Margaret Sanger was a racist! She believed that only 13 percent of Americans should be permitted to
have children, with the others segregated from the rest of the population. She congratulated Adolf Hitler for his infanticide program for defective infants. Her Birth Control Review was used by his National Socialist hierarchy to justify the extermination program for Jews, Gypsies, homosexuals and other “undesirables.” Her eugenics, to my knowledge, have never been renounced by PP. Despite all this, Peter Drucker named her as one of the 20th century’s most influential progressives. Claire Goforth should ask Laura Goodhue or Cecile Richards about all this. Folio Weekly could do a great public service and publish an article about PP’s sordid past, but I won’t hold my breath. R.T. Beaman via email
LEND YOUR VOICE If you’d like to respond to something you read in the pages of Folio Weekly Magazine, please send an email (with your name, address, and phone number for verification purposes only) to mail@folioweekly. com, visit us at folioweekly.com, or follow us on Twitter or Facebook (@folioweekly) and join the conversation.
LOCAL COLOR
JEFF WHIPPLE
FOLIO WEEKLY MAGAZINE COVER ARTIST DECEMBER 2015 When we sat down to plan our “Person of the Year” cover portrait, Jeff Whipple was the first name on our list. Not only is Whipple one of the 904’s true arts gems, he comes with a pedigree that’s as impressive as his work. Backed by an MFA from University of South Florida, Whipple’s contribution as a multidisciplined visual artist, playwright, and arts educator grows constantly. His work has been featured in more than 82 solo exhibitions in galleries, colleges and museums, and he has received 48 top awards in juried competitions. Since he and his partner Liz “Deformance Art” Gibson founded MetaCusp Studios in Jacksonville, the two have been a powerful presence as artists and as adjunct professors at the Univeristy of North Florida. Recent
highlights of Whipple’s arts career include his receiving the 2014 Florida Arts Council Individual Artist Fellowship and being given a commission to create a 75-foot mural for Ballou High School in Washington, D.C., which he completed with stunning results.
BRICKBATS + BOUQUETS BOUQUETS TO JOHNSON & LUFRANO, P.A. As a result of a donation from the criminal defense law fi rm, Hemming Park in the city’s urban core will offer can and bottle recycling, beginning in January 2016. BOUQUETS TO LEAH WOLCHOK The documentary film producer/ director and Wolfson High School graduate’s film, Very Semi-Serious, about the cartoonists lucky enough to be published in the New Yorker magazine, premiered Dec. 14 on HBO and is still available on the channel’s streaming services. BOUQUETS TO THE FAMILY OF THE LATE ROBERT B. HAYLING The father of St. Augustine’s Civil Rights movement, Dr. Hayling opened the first medical dental office without racially segregated waiting rooms, led demonstrations and endured violence in the Ancient City during the 1960s. Dr. Hayling died Sunday, Dec. 20. KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? HOW ABOUT A PROVERBIAL BRICKBAT? Send your submissions to mail@folioweekly.com. Submissions should be a maxium of 50 words and directed toward a person, place, or topic of local interest.
CORRECTIONS Tom Francis, spokesperson for Jacksonville Fire & Rescue Department, notified Folio Weekly Magazine of several mistakes in the Dec. 15 news story “Islama-phobicshop,” by Susan Cooper Eastman. Firstly, Abboud says he is of Hispanic descent and not Middle Eastern, as Folio Weekly Magazine presumed from his surname. Additionally, a sign reading, “Welcome to the Plantation,” was posted inside a door at the fire rescue offices, not at a fi re station, and it was posted by a black firefighter. FWM didn’t mention race in the account, but a reader might assume it was a white firefighter who posted it. Finally, Ivan Mote, who spoke as the vice president of the black professional association Jacksonville Brotherhood of Firefighters, is one of several district chiefs. Folio Weekly Magazine identified him as Division Chief of Rescue, a title he formerly held. Folio Weekly Magazine regrets the errors. DECEMBER 30, 2015-JANUARY 5, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5
STRONG ’GRASS GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE
THU
31
The local barons of bone-crushing bluegrass, Grandpa’s Cough Medicine, sure had a good year. The band – Brett Bass on guitar/dobro/vocals, Mike “Banjo Boy” Coker on … um … banjo, and vocalist Jon Murphy on standup bass – released their well-received third album 180 Proof, 15 songs in their signature style of outlaw bluegrass, full of honky-tonk themes and flat-out virtuoso playing. The trio spent a good chunk of 2015 on the road, gigging at clubs and notable music fests around the nation. You say you want a raucous way to shut down 2015? Take a dose with GCM! 8 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 31, with Bryce Alastair Band, Dirty Pete at Freebird Live, Jax Beach, $10 advance; $15 day of, freebirdlive.com.
OUR PICKS FRI
1
FEELING OF DREADS SOJA Start off that New Year’s
resolution to quit smoking weed the right way – go to a reggae concert! Grammy-nominated reggae band SOJA are veritable Jah juggernauts. Natives of that hotbed of sweet, sticky-icky reggae music called Arlington, Virginia, the band has cracked the Billboard charts with three separate albums and toured with the likes of Dave Matthews Band, Incubus, and 311. 7 p.m. Friday, Jan. 1 with opener Collie Buddz, The Florida Theatre, Downtown, $29.50-$35, floridatheatre.com.
SAT
CRAFTY TYPES
2
OLD TOWN ART SHOW
Shake off that lingering hangover and go see works of artistry and craftsmanship by dozens of regional and national artists at the annual Old Town Art Show. Artisans and craftspeople offer original works in a variety of media including jewelry, pottery, paintings, photography, fiber art, woodwork, and glass. 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Saturday, Jan. 2; 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Sunday, Jan. 3 at Francis Field, W. Castillo Dr., St. Augustine, holidayartshows.com.
BIG BASH
NEW YEAR’S EVE
Time to kick 2015 to the curb with a serious throwdown. And whether your fête calls for champagne and confetti under the moonlight or cheap beer and bean dip under a bare swinging light bulb at Cousin Chank’s place, Folio Weekly Magazine has you covered. GO TO PAGE 33 to see the celebratory options available to shed the despair of last year and wrap your sorry self in the hope of 2016! Can’t decide? Hit The Jacksonville Landing for live music – 7th Street Band and Briteside – a tree light show and fireworks over the river. The free fun starts at 4 p.m. until the last spark goes out over the water; jacksonvillelanding. Happy New Year!
THU
31 SAT
2
KICK IT OFF!
TAXSLAYER BOWL
Every year, from August through January, there’s a stretch when many otherwise regular folks go completely out of their minds. That special time of year? College football season. At the end of the mania, there are Bowl games, and we’ve got a doozy! The Taxslayer Bowl lets locals and fans from afar root, holler, and swoon as the Penn State Nittany Lions (smeh) take on the University of Georgia Bulldogs (yay, brah!). Also, beer is available. Noon Saturday, Jan. 2 at EverBank Field, Downtown, $60-$180, ticket master.com. (sic ’em, woof, woof) 6 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 30, 2015-JANUARY 5, 2016
REASONS TO LEAVE THE HOUSE THIS WEEK
DECEMBER 30, 2015-JANUARY 5, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7
GUEST EDITORIAL
AFTER
THE CLIMATE DEAL DESCRIBED BY 195 WORLD LEADERS AND climate scientists as humanity’s last, best hope of averting the most devastating effects of global warming and climate change, the landmark climate deal approved in Paris on Dec. 12 reached consensus: Modern culture must move away from fossil fuels and a carbon-based economy. And while participants in the agreement recognize the new deal will not, by itself, save the planet from the devastation of rising seas, melting glaciers, and a new climate reality defined by weather in the extreme, parties to the UN COP21 agreed that we can no longer wait to begin a swift transition toward a clean energy future. How to actually meet the goal of keeping warming well below 2 degrees Celsius while also aspiring to achieve the more planetfriendly limit of 1.5 C. will depend on what a clean energy future actually looks like — and how quickly we can get there. The concept of the Age of Carbon coming to an end, and soon, is hard for some to visualize. World leaders, on their own, would never have been ambitious enough to commit nearly every country to lowering planet-warming greenhouse gasses. That momentum came from indigenous communities, scientists, environmental organizations, NGOs and groups all over the world now feeling the effects of increasingly unstable weather, pushing, insisting, demanding our leaders take bold action. Flooding, droughts, super-storms, unstable weather on a Biblical scale are strong wake-up calls, strong motivation. A galvanizing moment in community organizing history that crystallized what is at stake for the future of the planet happened when Dr. James Hansen, director of NASA’s Goddard Space Institute, declared “Game Over for the Climate” if the Keystone XL Pipeline were to be approved. Dumping dirty, carbon-rich tar sands from Canada onto the world market through a pipeline down the middle of the American Heartland would put us over the tipping point into an unsurvivable climate crisis. He made clear our shared fate, our shared humanity, and our shared responsibility to change our behavior. On Feb. 13, 2013, Dr. Hansen, along with 47 other community leaders including Julian Bond, Robert Kennedy Jr., Bill McKibben and Sierra Club Executive Director Michael Rune, were arrested in front of the White House in an act of climate civil disobedience. Their bravery and conviction made real for many the possibility of actual climate collapse in our lifetime. For those of us of the Environmental Youth Council in St. Augustine, Dr. Hansen’s warning created a sinking, sick feeling. We committed then and there, for better or worse, to engage in climate activism. A series of demonstrations demanding climate justice followed. EYC marched in Washington, D.C. and St. Augustine. We were there for The People’s Climate March in New York City on Sept. 21, 2014. More than 8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 30, 2015-JANUARY 5, 2016
400,000 people from all walks of life showed up to tell world leaders to take climate change seriously, and to show real leadership: Take Bold Action. And now they have, at least partially. They are waiting for the rest of us to tell them what’s next, what we’re willing to do to move the world toward climate stability. We at the Environmental Youth Council have some ideas: 1. Make sure Florida becomes solar-friendly. Push for, vote for the state constitutional ballot amendment that will allow individual energy users to produce and share their own solar power: Floridians For Solar Choice, flsolarchoice.org. Not to be confused by the competing private utility-baked ballot initiative that will continue to restrict that right: Consumers for Smart Solar, smartsolarfl. org. Florida is one of only four states that does not allow solar power sharing. The intent of the private utility initiative is to confuse voters, pure and simple. 2. Sign the Credo Pledge of Resistance. Willingness to risk arrest and participate in climate civil disobedience, in all likelihood, is part of what will be required to make our political leadership move forward on climate. This strategy worked to help defeat the Keystone Pipeline, pass the Civil Rights Bill, and kick the English out of India. Bill McKibben said it best: “No one wants to get arrested and spend a couple of days in jail. But it is not the end of the world. The End of the World is The End of the World.” 3. Call out elected officials who refuse to take seriously the immediate threat of an out-ofcontrol climate. No more hiding behind “not enough evidence,” or “natural cycles,” or “I am not a scientist.” Political leaders who discount the risks associated with continued burning of fossil fuels forfeit their legitimacy to govern. They defraud those who elected them to protect the best interest of the region and the country; they betray the public trust doctrine. They jeopardize our shared futures for the short-term profits of carbon companies. They deny our responsibility for creating the climate crisis in the first place, in spite of the most extensively, thoroughly documented issue of modern times. Call out climate deniers and hold them accountable. 4. Divest from fossil fuels. Profiting from the industry that’s causing so much damage and misery is indefensible. Financially, the oil industry is the most powerful in the history of the world. Morally, it is bankrupt. We as responsible citizens must insist that more than 80 percent of the known fossil fuel reserves stay in the ground to meet the goal identified by the Paris agreement, i.e., limit warming to significantly less than two degrees Celsius. Contact your church, mosque or
To reach a CLEAN ENERGY FUTURE, an Environmental Youth Council organizer says there is much work to be done synagogue. Contact the University of North Florida and Flagler College, Flagler Hospital, The Rotary Foundation. Ask why they are still supporting the industries that are threatening the viability of the world. Look at your own investment portfolio. As of today, 3.4 trillion U.S. dollars have been divested from various forms of fossil fuels. 5. Contact President Obama and The Bureau of Ocean Energy Management, and our local, state and national political leaders. Tell them in no uncertain terms that we are not going to allow seismic testing and offshore drilling in the Atlantic Basin. Period. To date, 31 U.S. House members, including Ron DeSantis (R, Florida Sixth District), and 85 counties and cities have signed resolutions in opposition to oil development in the Atlantic. We know the climate crisis poses a much more broad threat to the health of the world than any unsavory political group. Do not invest one more penny or another second in looking for or developing new sources of carbon fuels. 6. Contact President Obama and our elected officials again. Tell them there must be no more leasing or selling publicly owned lands to fossil fuel companies. These properties belong to our children; they are their future. We do not agree with turning them into open-pit coal mines, despoiled oceans, and ruined waterways as a result of fracking and mining. What does a clean energy future look like? That’s up to us to discover and define, together. A carbon tax would be a good place to start, which would incentivize new energy innovations while chilling carbon consumption and production. Time is short and the stakes are high. Time to go all in. So what’s next? According to 350.org, “All the momentum we build through workshops, marches, trainings and meetings will be put to use as we take bold action targeted at fossil fuel projects that must be kept in the ground and lifting up the solutions we need to take their place. We have waited far too long for serious action and in May, people are going to come together to show that they are serious.” Environmental Youth Council will be there. We will continue to raise awareness about the climate crisis and other environmental and social justice issues. We invite you to participate. As Pope Francis told world leaders in September, “We have a moral imperative to act on climate.” Bill Hamilton Environmental Youth Council mail@folioweekly.com _____________________________________ EYC meets 7 p.m. on the last Tuesday of each month at Juniper Market in Coastal Traders, 56 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine. DECEMBER 30, 2015-JANUARY 5, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9
FIGHTIN’ WORDS 2015 was LENNY CURRY’s year
THE SMARTEST
MAN IN JACKSONVILLE POLITICS
THE BIG POLITICAL STORY OF 2015: LENNY Curry beat Alvin Brown for mayor. Six months into Curry’s administration, that seems like much more of an inevitability than it did for most, even for Curry supporters, up until the beginning of May. In January, the only people openly predicting Curry’s victory were Curry himself and his spokesman Brian Hughes. Now? Curry is, as far as we can tell, a popular mayor. He’s kept his plays to the right wing minimal (a red meat speech at the Sunshine Summit and glomming on to Rick Scott’s calculated xenophobia on the Syrian refugees issue), and he’s by and large pivoted to the center time after time. From his appearance with Tallahassee Mayor Andrew Gillum during a panel at the Operation Reform Summit in November to his renewal of the Jacksonville Journey, Curry hasn’t governed like the Party Boss that nearly half of Jacksonville feared before the May election. Yes, he gave former Duval GOP Head Robin Lumb a gig as his policy director. But he also gave gigs to two other former Council Dems: Denise Lee and Johnny Gaffney. There are some who, during the campaign, presumed that the tacit support of Curry by Lee and the open support by Gaffney were transactional moves. Those same people, who lauded Brown for working with “Democrats, Republicans, and Independents,” didn’t give Curry credit for the same willingness to reach across party lines. In fact, there was someone from the Brown campaign (one of those outof-state imported types) who claimed Lee had gotten paid off to come out against Brown’s race baiting “Lenny Curry will turn back the clock” radio ads. Such loose talk has fallen down the memory hole now. And part of the reason why is that Curry has been careful not to govern in a partisan manner. He’s every bit as likely to appear at press events with Council Democrats as he is with Council Republicans. Curry, way back when he first started running for office, told me that he never makes a move without thinking it through first. And that included running for mayor. He ensured his support was right; especially the money end that eluded Bill Bishop. And in covering him through that campaign, it was instructive to watch him give the hard right just enough to keep them hopeful, while simultaneously sending the important, meaningful, policy signals to the Chamber folks: the ones who have the biggest capital stake in Jacksonville, the ones whose vision 10 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 30, 2015-JANUARY 5, 2016
ultimately is the vision that transcends ephemeral political arguments. We can see Curry’s deliberative nature on issue after issue. The slow build to formulating solutions to solve the UF Health funding crisis, to finding a way forward on funding port dredging, and, of course, the deliberative process on the HRO: All of that has some measure of political calculation, but the main takeaway is finding a way toward a sustainable solution. A good NFL quarterback has the ability to see the whole field. Curry demonstrated that, long before he ran for mayor. Someone with firsthand knowledge of Curry’s thought process as the 2011 race was shaping up told me this month that Curry saw Alvin Brown coming before anyone else did. Curry’s rationale: The other Democrat in the race, Warren Lee, was not a serious candidate; the Republicans, Audrey Moran and Rick Mullaney, would destroy each other; and Brown could stake out the center and beat Mike Hogan. And verily, it came to pass. In retrospect, Curry’s whole strategy in the 2015 election was simple. Consolidate the base and knock Bill Bishop out in the March election. Then push Alvin Brown to the left and stake out the center in May. He pulled that off even as, during debates, he managed to exploit Brown’s debate inadequacies, by mentioning the LGBT community and saying Brown had done nothing on the HRO in four years and, when Brown went negative, asking the mayor if he thought Curry was a racist, effectively invalidating the requisite rhetorical appeal to traditional African-American Democrats. Curry, framed as an outsider and an interloper a little more than a year ago, has cloaked himself in the raiments of Jacksonville’s political establishment. Sam Mousa, Mike Weinstein, Kerri Stewart; former mayors Peyton and Delaney: all of these important hold cards. Way more important than the wingnuts of the hard right, who fell in behind Curry, but who Curry doesn’t need anymore. Curry’s One City, One Jacksonville motif, roundly derided by many, has become the governing philosophy: one of consensus, even if it has to be manufactured at times. The smartest politician in Jacksonville? Outside of Corrine Brown, no one will take that crown from the mayor anytime soon. A.G. Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com twitter/AGGancarski
DECEMBER 30, 2015-JANUARY 5, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11
TONY ALLEGRETTI – longtime urban core advocate and current Executive Director of the Cultural Council of Greater Jacksonville – is Folio Weekly Magazine’s PERSON OF THE YEAR
URBAN PIONEER
story by matthew b. shaw 12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 30, 2015-JANUARY 5, 2016
photos by dennis ho
I
t’s a quarter to five in the afternoon and Hemming Park — the main point of convergence for almost all things related to the urban core’s current resurgence — is already buzzing. Vendors began setting up their booths hours ago. Downtown commuters, ditching work early, joined them shortly after, followed by many of the city’s socialites (self-appointed and otherwise). There’s live music on the park’s stage. And just moments ago, Mayor Lenny Curry ceremoniously lit a rather slight Christmas tree, befitting of his fiscally conservative principles. Art Walk Wednesday in Downtown Jacksonville is officially underway.
Over the course of the next several hours, thousands of residents of Duval and its adjacent counties will descend upon the city’s center to grab a bite to eat, listen to music from both local and touring bands, and, more generally, see and be seen. Some of them may buy art. Most won’t. Many of the urban core’s business owners will earn enough tonight to pay their monthly rent. And a few lucky artists will be able to keep the lights on at their places of residences, as well. For a neighborhood with fewer than 4,000 inhabitants — a virtual ghost town, save for a few bars, on any other evening — Art Walk is quite a triumph. Meanwhile, Antonio Allegretti, or Tony as he’s called, the man principally responsible for what has become the city’s most consistently successful cultural and economic event — First Wednesday Art Walk — is making his way through security at the entrance to City Hall on Duval Street. Dressed in suit pants and a jacket (no tie), Allegretti smiles through his grey beard as he greets the security staff members by their first names before collecting his orange-andwhite-striped Cultural Council umbrella from the conveyer of the X-ray machine. He looks and behaves very much like most people entering the building for the holiday party this evening: He’s here to shake hands, make eye contact, earn or sustain some political capital, and then kick rocks. But, unlike most others, he’s here to see some art, too. As the Executive Director of the Cultural Council of Greater Jacksonville — a quasigovernmental agency — he’s a steward of public funds set aside for 23 arts and culture organizations, including one of the Southeast’s largest contemporary art institutions (Museum of Contemporary Art Jacksonville), the city’s most historic concert venue (The Florida Theatre), and the oldest continually running community theater in the U.S. (Theatre Jax), among others.
Just a few months ago, second-term City Councilman — and the newly elected Council President — Greg Anderson contacted Allegretti. He wanted some local art to spruce up the fourth floor of City Hall. Allegretti got to work. “We want to make sure our art and artists are everywhere,” he says in a convivial, almost dude-esque manner of speaking that juxtaposes his worldly vocabulary. We’re sitting down for coffee in Hemming Park just a few days after Art Walk. This day, Allegretti’s dressed in a grey tweed blazer with turquoise accents that match his teal-framed, plastic aviators adorned with Jacksonville Jaguars logos on each side. His ensemble is a balance between eccentric and business-casual (with some local flavor) that is certain to endear him to the diverse range of folks he works with on a daily basis. He says when Council President Anderson came calling, he was more than happy to grant his wish. “Basically, when the council president requests something, you always try and find a way to do it,” he says. This request, made by a sitting City Council president in late 2015, is wholly different from the now-infamous demands made by the previous Council president, Clay Yarborough, around the same time in 2014 — fewer than six months into Allegretti’s stint at the Cultural Council. The “controversy” over MOCA’s Project Atrium Exhibit, which featured Angela Strassheim’s photograph depicting an expectant mother, bare breast exposed, was widely reported in this magazine and elsewhere. By all accounts, Allegretti artfully navigated this minefield and, on the surface, it may not appear relevant to the narrative of the great year Tony Allegretti had in 2015 (being that it occurred in the year prior). Although, as the dust settled and the
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PERSON of the YEAR
Allegretti at MOCA, engaging several artists, including Jim Draper (left), in conversation. As Executive Director of the Cultural Council, Allegretti instituted a policy that artists must be paid for any work done for the city.
URBAN PIONEER TONY ALLEGRETTI
<<< FROM PREVIOUS photograph remained on display, there was a palpable momentum and excitement around the arts that Allegretti — as executive director of the Cultural Council — was able to tap into. The result was a huge year for arts and culture in Jacksonville. “Immediately, the silver lining that everyone could see was publicity for MOCA and I think membership jumped,” Allegretti says of Yarborough’s demands that the photograph be taken down and MOCA’s funding be cut. “Certainly the turnstile jumped.” “For arts and culture, it was great because we could talk about the grant process and how it worked with city government,” he says. “It was a good microphone for how that works.” Each year, the Cultural Council assesses the economic impact of its Cultural Service Grantees (CSGs), which receive funds as part of the city budget. Of that city budget, which was approximately $1 billion for fiscal year 2015, CSGs received .24 of 1 percent, or approximately $2.4 million dollars. It’s not a lot of money, relatively speaking, but under Allegretti’s leadership, the impact of that investment grew from $58 million (already an understatedly solid ROI) to $70 million. An astonishing figure. In the spring of 2014, the Council used contributions from Florida Blue to award between $5,000 and $15,000 to five projects, ranging from performance art by Liz Gibson to mosaics by Kate Garcia Rouh and Kenny Rouh — all of which were completed or performed in 2015. In addition, the Council hosted workshops throughout the year designed to help artists learn skills crucial to maintaining a livelihood, from marketing themselves through social media to acquiring the proper insurances. In March, Allegretti, through a partnership with Vystar Credit Union, launched a lecture series which brought in internationally renowned artists like neo-futurist Vito Di Bari and environmental artist Christo, who Allegretti says “now has a bond with Jacksonville.” In June, the Cultural Council expanded the city’s growing collection of public art by facilitating Roux Art’s “Mirrored River” mosaic, adding local color to the newly renovated Southbank Riverwalk. But perhaps most impressive, later in June it was announced that according to city ordinance, $866,000 was to be allocated for public art at the Duval County Courthouse, the largest public art project in the history of the city. And another round of Spark Grants was announced just last month, assuring another $70,000 for arts and culture projects for 2016. On top of all this progress, opportunities in the city’s creative sector grew — making it more than 889 jobs added since 2014 alone. Those are the kinds of numbers that gain the attention of politicians. And now, a year and eight months into his current role with the Cultural Council, Allegretti — primarily through a rather successful hot chocolate sale at the St. Johns Town Center — has just adorned the walls of City Hall’s fourth floor with several prints and one original of Kathy Stark’s series of Florida-State-Parks-inspired paintings, as well
as parochially recognizable photographs by Will Dickey. Council President Anderson says the art installed around the City Council offices has brought “an energy and excitement to the space.” “Every councilperson has an assistant and we host so many people from out of town,” he says. “It’s exciting that we’ve found a way to share our local artists with a broader audience.” As a longtime supporter of the arts prior to being elected to City Council — including a stint as president of Riverside Fine Arts Association — Anderson sees art as vital to the revival of the city’s Downtown, referring to it as the “secret weapon.” Anderson calls Allegretti “a visionary.” “Tony has really elevated our standards,” he says. “He’s always looking outside the box for innovative ways to support local art. And the fact that he raised money through donations for hot chocolate is a good example.” So, why hot chocolate, anyway? First of all, the City Hall hanging was just outside the Cultural Council’s purview, which consists of three main responsibilities: grant-making to the 23 CSGs, selecting and installing the city’s permanent collection (Art in Public Places), and raising money through partnerships for direct grants to artists, workshops, or special events. The second reason has to do with a policy Allegretti instituted when he assumed the role of executive director: The artists must be paid. “What we want to be careful about is not signing artists up for exposure,” he says. “We try to push that out so that the community knows, if you’re gonna ask artists to be involved, you need to pay ’em.” It takes a unique personality to navigate relationships with artists, nonprofits, private individuals and corporations, and city leaders from the legislative and executive branches. By all accounts, Allegretti does so deftly and tactfully. He’s often described as sincere, passionate, charismatic, positive, genuine, enthusiastic, and genuinely enthusiastic — that last two-word adjective is distinctive not only because of the work he does, but where he does it.
14 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 30, 2015-JANUARY 5, 2016
“The absolute best thing about living in Jacksonville is meeting new, cool people,” he says. Allegretti’s a positive force and his advocacy for the city of Jacksonville predates his current role. “I’m always upbeat because there is no end to the love,” he says. Anyone who has spent any time around artists in Jacksonville knows this kind of eternal optimism can be met with skepticism. But tell Allegretti that the city doesn’t export any culture and he’ll tell you about Bill Yates’ photography exhibit at the Ogden Museum of Southern Art in New Orleans, or the ornament Sarah Crooks Flaire created for the White House Christmas tree, or the mural that Neptune Beach artist Sean Mahan painted on a 25-story building in Philadelphia. Tell him that the city is devoid of a creative entrepreneurial spirit and he’ll begin rattling off a long list of diverse projects, businesses and business people, before you have to cut him off (he could go on for days). Tony says his favorite people are “doers,” people who share his drive and positive outlook. “It’s very easy to come up with ideas, throw your idea out there and complain that the town is too simple for it to catch on or that it will hit a wall,” he says. “In Jacksonville, I think we’ve seen that if you work hard and build a coalition and your idea, product, event, etc. is good, you’ll find joy.” In the years after the economic downturn, Jacksonville, like many other cities across the country, has made efforts to revitalize the neighborhood that contains its urban center. Economically, many cities see this as a crucial step in ensuring they attract a young, creative workforce for the foreseeable future. Any city that has witnessed a revitalization of one of its urban neighborhoods (from New York’s Williamsburg, to Miami’s Wynwood, to San Francisco’s Mission District) has seen arts and culture play a prominent role in that transition. Jacksonville, much to the credit of the Cultural Council, is trying to chart similar ground. In her current role as a program director with the Community Foundation for Northeast Florida — a nonprofit connecting donors to charitable causes — Amy Crane has worked closely with Allegretti on several projects (including a big one they’re keeping
under wraps until after the New Year). Previously, Crane spent more than two decades with the Cultural Council. She was a big supporter of Allegretti’s when he came on as executive director. “I think Tony has the passion and enthusiasm to do this job the way it needs to be done,” she says. “He’s so plugged-in, so positive and so kind. With everything that is happening, all the momentum around Downtown, he’s just the right guy for this time, in this city.” In his ceaseless graciousness, Allegretti is the first to say that his success is the product of many relationships and plenty of trialand-error. “A lot of what I’ve tried in the past didn’t really work out, but really, all of it worked out,” he laughs. Allegretti first came to Jacksonville riding the wave of the late ’90s tech boom. After spending some years at Florida State University in Tallahassee, he moved home to his native Pensacola to finish a degree in criminal justice, while working as a probation officer for kids. He says he studied criminal justice because, “at the end of four years of college, I’d already done the work and I wanted to get out.” While finishing his degree at University of West Florida, though, he did dedicate some time to art classes, where he found he had an interest in marketing and advertising. A string of sales jobs led to a call from a headhunter and an interview with a software company in Orange Park (called Recruitmax at the time). “I came for an interview and I liked the company,” Allegretti says, his eyes beginning to light up a bit. “But I really liked Riverside,” he says of the traditionally artsy, Downtownadjacent neighborhood. He took the job, moved around the company a bit, flirted with creating his own tech startup (before that was A Thing), but eventually exited the industry. He procured some freelance writing gigs and says he “swindled” his way into a job as marketing director of Theatre Jacksonville. He says this was where he found his “muse,” as it applies to working in the arts. “Sarah Boone [current Theatre Jax executive director] gave me paternity leave,”
says Allegretti. “And when my kid was born, I could take her to work with me,” he says with great joy in his voice. “It was a magic time. You know, it wasn’t a ton of money, but it was a good perspective of what was important.” Allegretti describes his family life with his wife and two children as being “very artsbased.” His teenaged daughter sings at LaVilla School of the Arts and he says his wife is very supportive of his “project-based lifestyle.” Allegretti says as a family, they curate their own environment with a lot of art, much of it by local artists. “I don’t want to pretend like I buy enough,” he says about the most recent additions to his collection. “I could do better and need to.” While working with Theatre Jax in the early Aughts, Allegretti, who’d by this time befriended many of the city’s most prominent artists, was organizing shows held in blighted buildings around Springfield and Downtown.
“My earliest memory of Tony is seeing him skateboard to an art show, where he struck me immediately as a multifaceted anomaly,” says Truque. “It was easy to see his youthful spirit and enthusiasm, but also to sense when his speech became focused and clear. Anyone who hears this tone from Tony knows that his efforts are in motion, and it’s not idle talk.” Truque says he got a sense at this time that Allegretti was a natural leader. “His percentage accuracy for shaping things to come is deadly accurate, and I think that has made Tony a great fit for the timing of this city,” he says. And it took a lot of vision in those days, according to Truque, to see past a lack of local support.
“Most everything I did with Tony was highly under-attended,” he says. “But I notice that the generation that was present in those days is critical to the character of the city now.” Around 2002, Allegretti — who’d been creating pieces he describes as assemblage — and the artist Max Michaels were invited to participate in a show at Seattle’s First Thursday Art Walk. It was a turning point for him. “There was art in the park, there was art in trees, every person that lived in [the neighborhood of] Pioneer Square had their doors open and you could go into their homes, a stranger’s home. It was awesome and it felt really Jacksonville.”
It would be a turning point for the city as well. Shortly after returning to Northeast Florida, Allegretti pitched the idea of a Downtown art walk to Downtown Vision Inc. The organization gave him a small budget for printing promotional material. The inaugural First Wednesday Art Walk was held throughout eight venues. That was 2003. There have been more than 145 First Wednesday Art Walks since then, and Allegretti says he has missed fewer than five. Over that same period of time, the number
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“I think TONY HAS THE PASSION and enthusiasm to do this job the way it needs to be done … He’s so plugged-in, so positive and so kind. With everything that is happening, all the momentum around Downtown, he’s just THE RIGHT GUY FOR THIS TIME, in this city.” — COMMUNITY FOUNDATION FOR NORTHEAST FLORIDA PROGRAM DIRECTOR AMY CRANE
One of the most successful shows he did, he says, was called “Art and Bills.” On display were works from more than 75 artists. The tag on each piece had the price, the name of the piece, and a short description of the bill for which a sale of the piece would pay. The show raised more than $10,000. Mac Truque, artist and longtime friend of Allegretti’s, participated in many of the shows at that time, including Art and Bills. DECEMBER 30, 2015-JANUARY 5, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15
PERSON of the YEAR
URBAN PIONEER TONY ALLEGRETTI
<<< FROM PREVIOUS of restaurants and bars Downtown has more than doubled. Fifty-plus venues participate each month. The Burrito Gallery — a restaurant in which Allegretti has a small stake — has become a destination during the festivities. This year, after witnessing the potential on display every first Wednesday of the month, the Downtown Investment authority kicked off almost a half-million dollars in retail enhancement loans for entrepreneurs willing to renovate blighted spaces and open businesses in the urban core. The neighborhood is changing and Art Walk continues to grow. Allegretti — who, between starting Art Walk and joining the Cultural Council,
continued to advocate for Downtown with the Jax Chamber and as a board member with DVI as well as the DIA — says it can still be better. “In the early days, buying art was an important part of it. And now, not to discredit anyone, it’s just become a massive, kind of social and music thing,” he says. “Which is cool, but I think we can get back to the collectors spirit.” Art Walk has also become the de facto photo op for city leaders. In October, Mayor Curry offered a “prost” to kick off Art Walk’s annual Oktoberfest celebration. Then, in early December, it was the lighting of Hemming Plaza’s Christmas tree. “I’ve always believed that art is the key to imagination, and imagination is the key to innovation,” said Mayor Curry through a spokesperson via email. “As people are drawn Downtown to attend events such as Art Walk, concerts and other events, they’re also visiting restaurants, staying in hotels, and patronizing other Downtown businesses.” Allegretti was a supporter of Mayor Alvin Brown, whom he considered “a buddy.” However, he says he found it difficult to gain any traction with the Brown administration in the short time each man’s executive gigs overlapped.
“I don’t want to say there was a disconnect,” Allegretti continues cautiously. “But I will say that once Mayor Curry was in office, we immediately were well-received and asked where we needed help.” Allegretti says at the time of Curry’s transition, the Cultural Council had a great need in regard to Art in Public Places, where, during the latest economic downturn, much of the money mandated through city ordinance was, for all intents and purposes, unavailable. “Mayor Curry’s team dedicated people to truing it [the funding for Art in Public Places] up in coordination with [councilmembers] John Crescimbeni and Lori Boyer.” According to Allegretti says the Cultural Council now has the funding it needs, not only to move forward with the $850,000 in projects at the Duval County Courthouse, but also to pay for much-needed maintenance on past Art in Public Places projects. Back at the holiday party, Allegretti is sure to pay a visit to the mayor’s office. Both men appear to be on the same page. After more than a half-hour of gladhanding, though, Allegretti’s evening is really just beginning. Immediately after his visit with the mayor, he is crossing Hemming Plaza, heading to MOCA. He stops to hug and exchange pleasantries with a few vendors in the park, he calls them “old friends,” and he can barely get through the doors of the museum before running into more friends. First it’s mosaic artist Kate Garcia Rouh, then it’s actor and WJCT personality Daniel Austin, followed by visual artist Jim Draper. We decide it’s best to finish the interview later, since he’ll be surrounded by more and more friends for the majority of the evening. It is, after all, First Wednesday Art Walk in Downtown Jacksonville. Matthew B. Shaw mshaw@folioweekly.com twitter/matthew_b_shaw LEFT: “It’s easy to come up with ideas, throw your ideas out there and complain that the town is too simple for the idea to catch on,” says Allegretti. BELOW: Allegretti at Cultural Council offices inside the Times-Union Center for Performing Arts.
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PERSON of the YEAR In 2015, activists and organizations across varied sectors championed IMPORTANT CAUSES in Northeast Florida
ACTING T
hroughout Northeast Florida this year, there were many causes worth championing. And the region certainly had its share of champions. Some took up the torch of inclusion, justice and human rights. Others stood tall in the face of juggernauts, like the U.S. Army Corp of Engineers, keeping the best case scenario for our region’s natural resources in mind. And there were others who worked to bring groups together who had previously been at odds. The area is replete with active and engaged citizens doing the right thing simply because it is the right thing to do. While not enough time, paper and ink exists to adequately recognize all that stood for vital causes, we endeavor to highlight a few who made 2015 such a year of inspiration, with enough impetus to carry us all into 2016.
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JACKSONVILLE COALITION FOR EQUALITY
While the resolution surrounding a modernization of Jacksonville’s Human Rights Ordinance (HRO) lies in the near future for the city, the groundwork efforts that have brought the issue to the forefront have been ongoing for a few years. The Jacksonville Coalition for Equity (JCE) spent much of 2015 educating businesses and faith leaders, and the community as a whole, on the crucial need for expanding the HRO to end discrimination against LGBT people. Dan Merkan, chair of the steering team that coordinates and directs JCE activities, says that in 2015, a group of concerned citizens — committed to securing passage of an updated HRO — developed a clarity of mission and a focus. Their efforts helped JCE hold dozens of community trainings. Ultimately, these trainings and conversations helped build consensus and gather support of more than 315 businesses and more than 100 faith leaders in Jacksonville.
HOPE McMATH, THE CUMMER MUSEUM, JACKSONVILLE
The Cummer Museum director is set to receive the President’s Citation Award from the OneJax Humanitarian Awards. In 2015, the Cummer, under McMath’s leadership, educated and empowered the city with thought-provoking exhibits. From the Whitfield Lovell exhibit, which examined African-American life from the Civil War to the Civil Rights era, to the Newcomb Pottery Enterprise, which focuses on women, art and social change, McMath used the tools at hand to engage the community in much-needed conversation about equality and justice. For McMath, it is intuitive to use art to help break down barriers. She states that with every exhibit and community forum, “we are forced to learn and be vulnerable and humble about what we do not know.” It was this spirit of selfreflection that led her and her team to open the
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Cummer with no admission fee in the wake of the tragic events in Charleston, South Carolina. McMath says that it was vital to create a safe haven for conversation at that time.
LISA RINAMAN, THE ST. JOHNS RIVERKEEPER, JACKSONVILLE
Known by many as the voice of the St. Johns River, Lisa Rinaman spent 2015 deep inside all things which protect the waterway that has always been a part of the city’s identity. The former senior staff member for Jacksonville Mayor John Peyton pushed back on the U.S. Army Corp of Engineers (ACE) on the dredging at the mouth of the St. Johns River. Strictly concerned with protecting the river and the ecosystems that it serves, Rinaman wants to ensure that any work the ACE does in the river is coupled with mitigation to replace and enhance natural resources that will be damaged during dredging. Rinaman’s aim is not only to preserve, but to replenish and revitalize the river, which is why she continues to champion the removal the dam that obstructs the flow of the Ocklawaha tributary, which feeds the St. Johns’ water and wildlife.
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CAREN GOLDMAN, COMPASSIONATE ST. AUGUSTINE
“Being named a Compassionate City does not automatically make a city compassionate,” says Caren Goldman, executive director of Compassionate St. Augustine. Referencing both the recognition of St. Augustine becoming the 30th Compassionate City in the world, designated by the global Charter for Compassion, and the recognition that even designated cities have work to do, Goldman states that “compassion” must be a verb. It was so in 2015 for Compassionate St. Augustine, as the group set about to create a legacy of compassion by making sure that the 450th commemoration of the city was alive with cooperation, collaboration and communication surrounding the four tenets of its mission: Freedom, Democracy, Human Rights and Compassion. Compassionate St. Augustine played a key role in brokering a peaceful discourse between members of the Islamic Center in St. Augustine and a group of armed protesters, consisting of St. Johns County residents who were compelled to portray the Islamic faith as a great evil. Members of the Compassionate St. Augustine team were present to simply pass out cake and lemonade to people on both sides; in doing so, they facilitated a simple conversation that de-escalated the tension.
CHEVARA ORRIN, EQ3 MEDIA, JACKSONVILLE
From the very instant Chevara Orrin set foot in Jacksonville three years ago, she was involved in the activism that has charged her whole life. In 2015, she helped bring the film <From Swastika to Jim Crow> to Jacksonville, to explore what she refers to as intersectional
McMath
justice, where two seemingly unrelated struggles actually share common resolutions for justice. She also was integral in the Soul Food Shabaat, in which nationally renowned chefs explored the culinary, religious, and cultural intersections of the black Christian and Jewish faith traditions. She closed the year by reviving local study circles, which occur in several locations around Jacksonville. These are curriculum-based five-week conversations are led by trained professionals. Each topic covered relates to race and culture and the important role they play in Jacksonville’s past and future. Orrin believes, wholeheartedly, that the best way to work toward justice is in solidarity with one another. Josué Cruz mail@folioweekly.com DECEMBER 30, 2015-JANUARY 5, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17
PERSON of the YEAR A look back at the faces who impacted the local ARTS SCENE this year
FRAMING I t was a year that started with titties; specifically, the unclothed titties in a photograph of a pregnant woman reclining in the sunlight. Little did we know then that, as a community, a year later, the photograph on display at MOCA would expose the fact that there were more boobs on the City Council than in the museum, and energize the upcoming civic elections. From those somewhat inauspicious beginnings, 2015 turned out to be a mostly quiet year of slow-to-boil growth. Unlike the year before, characterized by mercurial spikes of brilliance and zeitgeist, the sum of 2015, in retrospect, added up to much more than the sum of its respectable and notable parts. Public art explosions like The Cummer’s Jax Outings project, Jenny Hager-Vickery’s Downtown sculpture walk, and the “Mirrored River” mosaic mural on the Southbank brought capital “A” art to the people. More esoteric palates found great nourishment from more than one mind-blowing Project Atrium exhibit at MOCA, the Airport Art Commission’s Face Forward collaboration at CoRK and JIA, and a visit from legendary environmental artist Christo masterminded by CCGJ. And that’s just the tip of the fine art iceberg floating down the St. Johns in this Year of the River. The local theater experience also took a turn from the previous season’s high profile, drama-driven attitude that brought us historic local productions of “Les Mis,” “Angels in America,” “Rent” and “Hedwig and the Angry Inch.” 2015’s theater persona owed more to musical offerings than ever before; in fact, it might be remembered as the Year of the Revue, as it seemed like every time you turned around, from Amelia Island to St. Augustine, the standard musical fare was augmented by freshly imagined revues of “Hair,” “Grease,” and a host of others. And PBTS trotted out “Mr. Burns,” easily the edgiest musical this town has seen since “Bayboy” (which also featured local jewel Josh Waller). It may not have been a year of living dangerously, but it certainly has strengthened our community, honed our sensibilities, and sharpened our discipline. That being said, there were a few notable faces that stood out, even in this Year of Plenty.
CONDUCTOR COURTNEY LEWIS
The Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra has seemed like a stranger in its own hometown in recent times, and has been in desperate need of a shot in the arm. What better way to breathe life into arguably our most valuable cultural asset than a reboot? Exciting new branding, a new, more 21st-century attitude, and yes, euro-hottie Courtney Lewis waving the baton look to be the right moves already.
MUSICIAN CHARLOTTE MABREY
For more years than we care to count, Mabrey’s 21st century percussion performances have carved out a niche in the 904. In the process, she and her frequent partner in crime, Robert Arleigh White, brought avant garde music where 18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 30, 2015-JANUARY 5, 2016
2015 none had gone before and grew into a beloved community resource. The announcement that Mabrey is retiring from the “21st Century Music” game marks (in an intricate, mixedsignature tempo) the end of an era.
PAINTER OVERSTREET DUCASSE
If you’re a visual artist, Northeast Florida is a great place from which to emerge, and it’s always great to watch the development of a local creative come into their own. Such was 2015 for longtime stalwart of the 904 Overstreet Ducasse, a talented young painter whose work this year seemed to finally grab hold of its unique voice and exert its own authority. By finding the common ground between the Caribbean influences of his work and the modern American struggle, Ducasse’s recent pieces combine to express a narrative that is as compelling as it is exciting.
EDUCATOR JEFF SMITH
Art begins with perception, and nowhere in our lives are our perceptions more shaped, nurtured and strengthened than during our school days. As the newly installed director of arts at DCPS, Smith wasted no time at all reaching out to the community to improve the potential of his freshly minted program.
ACTOR DAVID GIRARD
Quite possibly the hardest working man in local theater this year, Girard’s presence is a palpable force on the stages in our community. His string of seemingly nonstop character development began last year, and his work with virtually every homegrown company, including PBTS, Stage Aurora, and 5 & Dime, culminated this year at MOSH with his performance as Legba in Al Letson’s original play “John Coffey Refuses to Save the World.”
PROMOTER ELTON RIVAS
When One Spark imploded amid layoffs and grand financial woes earlier this year, Rivas was left holding both the bag and the keys to the future of the festival. With a new (more realistic) plan, an improved (more altruistic) attitude, and quieter (less bombastic) direction — plus a heavier influence from the event’s Daddy Warbucks, Peter Rummell — Rivas has the opportunity to turn the ship around. Whether or not the community is ready to salute what many consider to be a pirate flag remains to be seen. Chaz. Bäck cback@folioweekly.com
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quotation from famed literary drunk Ernest Hemingway had a kind of special resonance with our staff as we prepared the feature to wrap up the year. “Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk,” the king of compositional machismo once slurred. So, after tasting more than 100* drinks and taking copious notes at watering holes and restaurants in all six Northeast Florida counties that make up Folio Weekly’s distribution footprint, we had no other choice but to heed the words of Papa Hemmingway. So we sat in front of our typewriters (laptops) and bled. OK, it was less dramatic than that. In actuality, we’re happy to report that preparing this feature was one of the most enjoyable experiences we’ve had in quite some time. We got to sample many delicious adult beverages, experience the great variety that each sub-area of the region has to offer, and interact with some radical and friendly bartenders and bar lies. The list we now offer is based on recommendations from patrons, bar managers, bartenders — and in the cases of a few dives, the establishments’ salty dog regulars. These are the drinks to try in Northeast Florida before you die. Get to work! Matthew B. Shaw mshaw@folioweekly.com
AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH, YULEE
PROSECO NATALE AT CIAO ITALIAN BISTRO Fans of wine-based cocktails are in for a treat: The Proseco Natale, found only at Italian eatery Ciao in Fernandina Beach, is made with Proseco, elderflower essence, a dash of pear juice and a splash of citrus. Top it with a sprinkle of basil and you end up with something distinctively herbaceous. BLACK & STORMY AT KARIBREW When Café Karibo, the popular Fernandina lunch spot, opened its own brewery called Karibrew, they didn’t forget the cocktail drinkers, treating them instead to a bevy of high-end potables. Enter the Black & Stormy, a concoction of black rum and ginger beer, with just a bit of lemon and sage to up the palate game a little. Enjoy it with lunch. PETE’S CABLE CAR AT THE SALTY PELICAN Of the many drinks on The Salty Pelican’s menu, none may be more signature than Pete’s Cable Car, their sweet-and-sour iteration of the Sidecar. Like any good drink found on the island, this one is spiked with rum and Grand Marnier and sports a sugar rim.
AVONDALE/ORTEGA
ANYTHING COLD AT HARPOON LOUIE’S A great deal of Northeast Florida’s charm is in its natural beauty. Sipping a cold beer on a hot day, gazing at one of the area’s lovely waterways from Harpoon Louie’s dock, is easily one of the most scenic beers you’ll ever drink. Sip and chill at your leisure. CRUCIAL TAUNT AT RESTAURANT ORSAY Named after the fictional band fronted by Tia Carrere’s character in Wayne’s World, Cassandra (schwing!), the Crucial Taunt – Flor de cana rum, housemade Thai chili-infused Aperol, pineapple-ginger shrub (a drinking vinegar), and lime juice – is garnished with a lime wedge and Thai-chili pepper, making for a spicy kick on the back end of a drink that’s perfectly sweet – much like when Wayne Campbell learns Cantonese to impress his Babe-raham Lincoln.
BEACHES
SMOKE ON THE RYE AT AZUREA ONE OCEAN RESORT ATLANTIC BEACH • Danny Welsh, Azurea One Ocean
contributing writers Josué Cruz, Rebecca Gibson, Claire Goforth, Dennis Ho, Keith Marks, Greg Parlier, and Matthew B. Shaw bartender and creator of the Smoke in the Rye, captured the taste of glamping. Rugged and refined at once, this mixture of Redemption rye whiskey, cardamom bitters and a bourbon-apple reduction is topped off with a toasted lemon twist. The key to this smoky sensation is the scotch rinse given to the glass prior introducing the cocktail. THE HOT JORGE AT BO’S CLUB (AKA BO’S CORAL REEF) • JAX BEACH • After 52 years, this beaches’ institution has got cocktails on lock. This in-house creation by one of their own combines muddled jalapeno and mint with watermelon vodka and a sugar rim. It’s at once hot, sweet and delicious. Just like that tall drink of water across the bar. CULHANE’S SIGNATURE IRISH COFFEE AT CULHANE’S IRISH PUB • ATLANTIC BEACH • The perfect drink for a nice, cool winter day, this drink, which originated in Shannon, Ireland, is carried year-round at the famed Culhane’s Irish Pub. The cream topper, whipped up fresh for every drink, shows just how much the team at Culhane’s cares that you are warm and happy. It’s the peak of the fresh coffee, 2 Gingers Irish Whiskey and a tad of brown sugar. A FLIGHT AT ENGINE 15 • JAX BEACH • Some microbreweries are just too damn good to choose only one delectable brew … so make your life easier and have a flight (or two). We love this graduation of J-ville to Route 90 Rye Pale Ale to Woody Sack with a solid Straight Thirty Weight Extra Stout finish. Copy it or create your own. WHAT THE DICKENS? AT FLASK & CANNON • JAX BEACH • This ingenious cocktail serves as a perfect companion for watching that extremely popular period piece on PBS. The What the Dickens? is a well-balanced combination of cognac, pineapple-infused rum, Velvet Falernum, bitters and fresh passionfruit syrup. The initial taste acquiesces to the sugar cane in the rum, but it remains well in place, as it should. This is Victorian decorum in a glass. CUCUMBER DILL LIME AIDE AT FLY’S TIE IRISH PUB ATLANTIC BEACH • Served only during Sunday brunch (or if you know who to ask), this refreshing cocktail is a perfect candidate for a hair of the dog remedy. Cucumber vodka, fresh cucumber and lime juice and chopped dill go down quite easily when the eyes are still a tad blurry from a long night. The key to this beauty is the addition of watermelon ice cubes. Yep. Watermelon ice cubes.
Southside is the perfect spot to begin your relationship with bourbon when you enjoy the heavenly smoothness of the Bourbon Divinity, Whiskey Jax’s unique “gateway to bourbon.” THE ROCKET BOMB AT GINGER’S PLACE JAX BEACH • It’s like this: Cruising on your bike around the beach on the Fourth of July, it suddenly occurs to you. What better way to say “I Love You, ’Merica” than with a beer-mug-size shot at Ginger’s Place? Smirnoff Ice with a shot glass full of Blue Curaçao and raspberry vodka dropped inside. Top it off with a touch of grenadine and the Rocket Bomb is a mug of red, white and blue with a “F*ck yeah” salute. QUETZALCOATL AT GREEN ROOM BREWING JAX BEACH • When someone says, “It’s our end-ofthe-world beer,” you are essentially obligated to drink one (or several, as long as the limited release lasts — or as long as the Earth continues to spin). Named for a Mesoamerican deity, this imperial red with notes of cassava root, chocolate, poblano and serrano peppers, is high-octane yet shockingly easy to drink.
martini. Keep cool and stay out of the sun with a few of these at Mezza. THE BUTTERFINGER MARTINI AT OCEAN 60 ATLANTIC BEACH • When the waiter brings the postdinner dessert menu at Ocean 60, look past the cakes and custards and get your fix from the Butterfinger Martini. This visually appealing drink mixes vanilla vodka, white Godiva chocolate, Frangelico, Half & Half and crushed Butterfinger – a must-try masterpiece. TALL BUDWEISER AT PETE’S BAR • NEPTUNE BEACH • With all the fun activities at Pete’s – table tennis, bumper pool, Big Buck Hunter, and pool for a single quarter (take that, inflation) – it’s ever so important to stay hydrated. A tall boy will quench your undying thirst for American-style lager while at the same time, the unrelenting smoke will give your lungs the workout of a lifetime. Hey … it’s a dive … get over it.
HOPSLINGER AT HOPTINGER BIER GARDEN & SAUSAGE HOUSE • JAX BEACH • With 62 taps, beer is a safe bet at this Jax Beach bar, curiously referred to as a “bier-garden” though it’s not outdoors and lacks much in the way of flora. That being said, the Hopslinger – St. Augustine Gin, Citrus, maple, cherry bitters, Grand Marnier, and a splash of soda – is a treat for any adventurous fauna looking to venture just outside their Bavarian boundaries.
JAX BEACH CRUSH AT THE PIER CANTINA JAX BEACH • Fresh-squeezed orange juice, Triple Sec, flavored rum and Sprite make for a good way to start at a day at the beach and also keep the party going. This drink, refreshing from the first sip, even comes in its own signature reusable cup, which means you have an excuse to order another. You know, because of nature and stuff.
THE MACALLAN RARE CASK AT ISLAND GIRL CIGAR BAR • NEPTUNE BEACH • You might not always drink the finest single malt, but when you do, it should be The Macallan Rare Cask at Island Girl. Drink it neat or on the rock – true connoisseurs know luxury Highland Scotch is best served over a single ice ball.
MOSCOW MULE AT POE’S TAVERN • ATLANTIC BEACH • Reyka Vodka, fresh limes and Gosling’s Ginger Beer are stirred in copper for Poe’s fresh and cool version of this cocktail-of-the-moment. Here is a drink that belongs in a derby, with big hats and clean suits winning big on the trifecta.
IRISH TRASH CAN AT LYNCH’S IRISH PUB • JAX BEACH • When even the menu proclaims, “Be warned, it’s lethal!” you know you’ve got to try it before you die. With a flavor and a punch that are reminiscent of a Long Island Iced Tea, plus a Red Bull BANG, this a drink that cannot be missed.
ATLANTIC BEACH LEMONADE AT RAGTIME TAVERN • ATLANTIC BEACH • resh-squeezed lemonade and vodka, along with a few extra ingredients, let this beachy drink blend well with a Sunday afternoon. The fresh lemon taste reminds you of Grandma, but the slight kick from the vodka lets you know that Grandma’s been up to something.
BASIL GRAPEFRUIT MARTINI AT MEZZA RESTAURANT • NEPTUNE BEACH • Here is a welldressed Southerner who knows how to keep cool on a humid afternoon. No, not the bartender. The actual drink itself. Fresh basil, simple syrup, Square basil vodka and grapefruit juice join together in this rich
THE PISCO SOUR AT SHIM SHAM ROOM JAX BEACH • You likely didn’t know you could get a
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<<< FROM PREVIOUS little taste of Peru and Chile at the beaches. Well, you can, in the form of Shim Sham Room’s Pisco Sour – the South American classic that’s made from Pisco Porton, lemon juice for sour, a little syrup for sweet, and velvety egg whites to coat the palate. THE BEACH CRUISER AT SLIDERS SEAFOOD GRILLE NEPTUNE BEACH • Here is a drink that is a true reflection of an establishment. Delicious, fun and laidback, The Beach Cruiser is rum, pineapple, orange juice, grenadine and ginger ale. Long-time Slider’s manager Mike Johns says everyone makes it a bit differently, so it’s only logical to come in often and try it a few times. PINCHO AT THE WINE BAR • JAX BEACH • The Wine Bar proudly uses Argentina’s best-selling white wine to create a refreshing, beachy cocktail. Savor a glass of New Age White wine on the rocks, with just enough soda water to make it fizzly-licious, and you’ll be feeling like a Jimmy Buffett song: amazingly mellow. ZANGRIA AT ZETA BREWING COMPANY JAX BEACH • Zeta’s unique Zangria uses three kinds of liquors. Banana liqueur, peach schnapps, agave nectar, a splash of Sprite, and Pinot Noir gives the drink its robust, ruby color. The Zangria looks like punch and tastes like candy.
DOWNTOWN, SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE
TULLY ON THE ROCKS AT BAY STREET BAR & GRILL Some moments are meant for Irish whiskey. The recently opened Bay Street Bar & Grill on … um … Bay Street is the spot to indulge in Tully on the Rocks (for the uninitiated, that’s code for Tullamore Dew over ice) and a couple of friendly-ish rounds of old-school games like Mario Kart and Street Fighter. Hadouken! MARGARITA AT BURRITO GALLERY Everybody knows that there ain’t no party like a tequila party! Camarena Silver 100 percent agave tequila, organic orange liqueur and margarita mix make the drink’s hue deceptively pale. But don’t be fooled: Burrito Gallery’s house margarita is no light-handed pour. They’re so delicious, BG mixes them up by the kegful to meet the demand. GREAT DIVIDE OAK-AGED YETI IMPERIAL STOUT AT BURRO BAR Chin up to this statuesque bar and tuck into Great Divide Oak Aged Yeti while you ponder life’s secrets beneath taps from years gone by at Burro Bar, which recently shocked Jacksonvillians by going smoke-free. Smoke or not, at between 9.5 percent and 10.5 percent ABV, you’ll be high in no time. CHOCOLATE PEANUT BUTTER COOKIE AT THE CANDY APPLE CAFÉ Not an oven-baked item, this dreamy, creamy concoction from the brilliant confectioners at Sweet Pete’s is a velvety treat. Just one sip of Don Q rum with peanut butter almond milk, a delectable drizzle of housemade sea-salt caramel, Godiva chocolate liqueur and a tasty chocolate coin will transport you to a faraway, magical place. THE EDINBURGH AT DOS GATOS It can be expected that the team over at Dos Gatos is going to keep it original. From the creative mind of Bar Manager Casey Shelton, The Edinburgh was crafted for folks who think they don’t like Scotch. Muddled lemon, lime, orange and basil marry well with Glenlivet 12 and elderflower liqueur, creating a true house classic.
a tall glass. Mix it up or drink it in flavorful layers. Mmmm-mmmm. SIDECAR NAMED DESIRE AT MARK’S DOWNTOWN NIGHTCLUB A new addition at the Urban Core’s most popular weekend watering hole, this take on the traditional Sidecar – freshly squeezed lemon, Courvoisier, Tuaca (honey vanilla citrus liqueur), shaken with ice – has an earthy, homey taste. The martini glass, with half-sugar rim and a lemon twist, makes it a classy winter drink that’s bound to catch on as temperatures drop. AUCDD AT MAVERICKS LIVE This isn’t a drink, it’s an experience! Most kickass drink specials stay a few seasons before going the way of the wind, but Maverick’s $10 AUCDD (All You Can Drink Drafts, that is) keeps going strong year after year. It’s the perfect accompaniment to smokin’ tunes courtesy of whatever amazing live act is on stage. BAKED APPLE SAZERAC AT THE VOLSTEAD #Downtownisonfire is more than a marketing ploy with Volstead’s version of the Sazerac, a classic cocktail straight outta The Big Easy. Flames and sparks engulf the combination of apple, absinth and cinnamon, making the Volstead’s variant of Baked Apple Sazerac a true sensation for the eyes, nose and palate. ZODIAC PUNCH AT ZODIAC BAR & GRILL Grab a seat at this Downtown institution and order a Zodiac Punch. It blends four fruity flavors of Cîroc Vodka – peach, pineapple, coconut and berry – with orange, pineapple and cranberry juice in a tall glass. After a few of these, you’ll be feeling like P. Diddy, the $735-milliondollar man.
MANDARIN, JULINGTON
JOHNNY VEGAS BOMB AT CHEERS Are you ready to go buck wild Vegas style? Then try the Patron Silver, Watermelon Schnapps and Red Bull concoction that is the Johnny Vegas Bomb — essentially a shot in a full glass. For a milder, darker-tasting iteration, try the plain Vegas Bomb, which substitutes Crown Royal and butterscotch for the tequila and watermelon.
BLACK WIDOW AT HOURGLASS PUB Hourglass Pub is where you drink Black Widows – MacKenzie’s black cherry hard cider mixed with Green Room Brewing’s Count Shak-u-la Stout – that taste just like cherry cola (see-oh-el-aye, cola), while brushing up on your old-school Nintendo and/or Sega Genesis skills.
SWAMP WATER AT CLARK’S FISH CAMP Twenty years ago, the bar team at Clark’s Fish Camp needed a signature drink, so they decided to stroll right down to the creek itself and scoop up a cup of swamp water. Seriously though, the tasty, green concoction is a mix of vodka, rum, triple sec and Blue Curaçao that will definitely bite back if you’re not careful.
DARK ’N’ STORMY AT INDOCHINE This isn’t a drink; it’s an experiment in a glass! The bottom layer of ginger beer with lime patiently waits to be combined with Kraken Black Spiced Rum in
AGAVE NECTAR MARGARITA AT DON JUAN’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT Few things in life are as satisfying as chips, salsa, and margaritas. Don Juan’s hits the mark on all three. Their
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Make it easy on yourself and choose a flight (or two) of the cool, tasty signature microbrews hand-crafted at Engine 15 in Jacksonville Beach. Agave Nectar Margarita keeps it simple, with organic agave nectar and fresh lime juice splashed on the rocks with Partida Blanco, a tequila so legit that its origins are in Tequila Valley. TOLLOY PINOT GRIGIO AT ENZA’S ITALIAN RESTAURANT Pears and flowery magnolia sing in Enza’s Pinot Grigio. The Grigio is neither sweet nor overly dry, with a crispness that makes the wine easy to sip. This white wine shines with Enza’s Grouper Françese, or anything that’s light and lemony. NAKED PEAR AT HARMONIOUS MONKS The obvious joke to make when discussing Harmonious Monks’ Naked Pear – melon liqueur, pear vodka, sweetand-sour mix, Sprite, and a splash of pineapple – would be some sort of reference to how alcohol lowers one’s inhibitions and affinity for the wearing of garments. But we’ll just say the drink is delicious and avoid exposing ourselves as unimaginative. THE HURRICANE (CAT 5) AT HURRICANE GRILL & WINGS Put up the shutters and order an Uber, because this sweet and tangy combination of two shots of rum, orange and pineapple juice, grenadine and a 151-proof floater will definitely bust the Saffir-Simpson scale. Like a hurricane, you can see it coming — you prepare as best you can and still get leveled. WILDEWOOD PINOT NOIR AT PICASSO’S Oscar Wilde once said, “Drink Pinot daily.” Not really, but he did inspire Wildewood Wine Company, an Oregon-based winery that honors Wilde’s sophistication in the ruby Pinot Noir. It’s a slightly sweet and dry wine, but without the tannins that leave your mouth chalky. Pair this with Picasso’s chicken Parmesan and call it a day. HOUSE-INFUSED SPICY MARGARITA AT UPTOWN KITCHEN & BAR This newly minted margarita is the creation of Bartender John O’Grady. Get a whiff of his tequila, though don’t cough on the intense fumes of datil peppers and Carolina Reaper grown right in Springfield. As if houseinfused tequila isn’t enough, O’Grady throws in some rum-soaked strawberries. Drink carefully with this one.
ORANGE PARK, FLEMING ISLAND
VEGAS BOMB AT CHEERS These Vegas Bombs — Patron Silver and Watermelon schnapps mixed with some neon-hued energy liquid — are liable to get you moving and could be just the boost
you need to land a gig as a stunt double in the new Point Break reboot. Vaya con Dios! BOURBON ON THE ROCKS AT HILLTOP RESTAURANT With a collection of more than 80 bourbons, The Hilltop has just the right one for any connoisseur of firewater. If straight liquor isn’t your thing, the Orange Park restaurant specializes in any bourbon mixed drink, from Old-Fashioneds to Manhattans. TOOTY FRUITY CINDY SHOOTY AT THE ROADHOUSE A secret concoction of grape vodka and fruit juice, this giant shooter – truly a tooty fruity potable – is emblematic of the many shots that are popular at this long-standing Orange Park watering hole. Created by bartender Cindy, this one tastes like juice, feels like a potential hangover, and is perfect as the hair of the dog. THE BLUE GATOR AT WHITEY’S FISH CAMP Bringing a little cocktail class to Fleming Island’s Whitey’s Fish Camp is one easy with the Blue Gator, a deliciously fruity mix of vodka, Blue Curaçao, and pineapple. But why is it called the Blue Gator? Because the orange slice garnish gives the drink a distinctively UF appearance. It’s great … to be … !
RIVERSIDE, FIVE POINTS, MURRAY HILL
FLIGHTS AT ALEWIFE CRAFT BEER BOTTLESHOP & TASTING ROOM Alewife’s carefully selected flights are highly recommended for all beer drinkers – whether you’re an aficionado or first-time sipper. Can’t decide on what to have? Aim for their flight and get a taste of their favorites, like Smoked Peach Short Weisse, Lagunitas Born Yesterday, Avery’s Old Jubilation, and Founders Breakfast Stout. A GOLDEN GIRL AT BIRDIES FIVE POINTS The Birdies crew came up with a whole new cocktail that captures the most fawned-over group of gals in all of ’80s television culture — The Golden Girls. Patrons can order one of four women: Rose, Blanche, Sophia, or Dorothy. The base of each drink is Stiegl’s Grapefruit Radler paired with a liqueur with a splash of soda water. DUSTY BOOT AT BLACK SHEEP Black Sheep is known for changing the menu to keep things seasonally fresh, but one of the constants at this Five Points restaurant has been the Dusty Boot, a tangy combination of Buffalo Trace bourbon, Jerry Thomas bitters and the juices of lemon and lime. You’ll know it
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creation designed to keep you refreshed between games of table tennis on Dahlia’s highly competitive Ping-Pong tables, will fill the bill.
<<< FROM PREVIOUS when you see it: The drink’s signature feature is the rim of smoked sea salt and cracked black pepper. BARREL-AGED ROXY (ON NITRO) AT BOLD CITY BREWERY’S TAPROOM Though Bold City’s Killer Whale Ale opened the door for cream ales in the region, this Imperial Cream Ale – aged in barrels that once lovingly held Woodford Reserve bourbon – kicks the door off its proverbial hinges. The Roxy is exceptionally smooth, and exceptionally … well … creamy, and tastes exceptionally more so when poured from the nitro tap in the brewery’s adjacent taproom. HIPSTER SPEEDBALL AT BREW FIVE POINTS The ever-popular and perfectly named Hipster Speedball — four ounces of cold brew made from PT’s coffee (Topeka, Kansas), plus 12 ounces of Intuition’s King Street Stout in a pint glass (that’s 16 ounces for those counting on their fingers) – packs a caffeine pick-me-up, making it quite utilitarian, unlike most things adopted, fancied, repurposed (see: coöpted) by today’s hipster culture (yeah, that’s a reference to your cassette collection). LAVENDER SPARKLER AT DAHLIA’S POUR HOUSE If you can’t find anything to your liking from their vast selection of beer and wine, this sparkly drink made from Proseco and lavender and vanilla syrup, a new A few bucks is all it takes to experience the skills of the trained mixologists at San Marco’s Sidecar when you say, “Let me have a $6 Classic!”
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DERBY CUP AT DERBY ON PARK Derby on Park’s drink to try before you die slides cooly under the banner of hip and refreshing. The Derby Cup combines St. Germaine with muddled cucumber, Hendricks Gin, peach nectar, ginger beer, and finishes with a garnish of cucumber sliver. Cool as a cucumber. THE DAIQUIRI AT IL DESCO Adding a little cocktail culture to a major corner of the beer-hamlet that is Riverside’s King Street district, new spot Il Desco has a well-crafted menu of classic cocktails. The Daiquiri – made with Zaya Gran Reserva 12-year-old rum, fresh-squeezed lime juice, and housemade pineapple syrup (sweetened with Sugar in the Raw) – is a refreshing, rum-forward example of what the bar has to offer. Namely, drinks accessible to even the staunchest King Street beer snob. EASY ON THE EYES IPA AT INTUITION ALE WORKS’ TAPROOM This crisp, low-ABV session IPA bucks the trend of highly alcoholic IPAs – which don’t always sit well in the Florida heat – while maintaining the hoppy, floral flavor that is the hallmark of a well-made India Pale Ale. It’s a Florida beer made in a Florida brewery to be enjoyed in Florida by Floridians. Florida. CLOSE YOUR EYES & POINT AT KICKBACKS GASTROPUB When making a decision on what to try from one of the “biggest and best” beer selections in these here Younited States at Kickbacks or the adjacent Goozlepipe & Guttyworks, it’s best to find the page of the draft list (with more than 200 selections) corresponding to styles of beers you might enjoy (be they pale ales, reds, sours, or “fruit/vegetable beers”), close your eyes, and point. It’s just easier than trying to decide.
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DOWNTOWN
GREAT DIVIDE OAK-AGED YETI IMPERIAL STOUT AT BURRO BAR
Chin up to this statuesque bar and tuck into Great Divide Oak Aged Yeti while you ponder life’s secrets beneath taps from years gone by at Burro Bar, which recently shocked Jacksonvillians by going smoke-free. Smoke or not, at between 9.5 percent and 10.5 percent ABV, you’ll be high in no time.
RIVERSIDE
OLD-FASHIONED AT THE BLIND RABBIT WHISKEY BAR
This Old-Fashioned’s got a twist that brings it a little more up to date. The secret is grapefruit bitters to go with the Luxardo cherries, Turbinado simple syrup, and Barrel Knob Creek single barrel whiskey that the knowledgeable folks at Blind Rabbit hand-select. It’s strong, so stick around for a burger and those signature gorgonzola chips.
AMELIA ISLAND
BRETT’S RUM PUNCH AT BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ
Containing no fewer than five distinct rums, this fruity cocktail is a punch in more ways than one. The Fernandina Beach mainstay’s signature drink is everything you’d expect from an island destination: bright, tropical and intoxicating.
RIVERSIDE
ROCK SAKE CLOUD AT HAWKERS ASIAN STREET FARE Sake Bombs go down easy with Hawkers’ sake straight from Oregon, where the water is so pure, Japanese sake crafters actually source it from there. And the name fits – the sake is cloudy, with a little burn and a smooth finish, evoking images of flowers and monks bottling in secret (or maybe I’m just buzzed).
NEPTUNE BEACH
WATERMELON BLISS AT FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & TEQUILA BAR
The team over at Flying Iguana start with Maestro Dobel reposado tequila, infuse it in-house with jalapeños, then add muddled watermelon, cucumber and agave, making the Watermelon Bliss delightfully light and easy to imbibe. This drink appeals to both the avid tequila drinker and those still recovering from some decade-old tequila experience.
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<<< FROM PREVIOUS LOLA’S PALOMA AT LOLA’S BURRITO & BURGER JOINT Lola’s twist on Mexico’s favorite cocktail (sorry, margarita), keeps the tequila (Giro) as well as the salt rim and the lime, but substitutes grapefruit beer for soda. It’s best enjoyed while doing some King Street people-watching on Lola’s outdoor patio – if you can find a space to sit. METRO SHAKE AT THE METRO When asking for the Metro Shake – Fireball cinnamon whiskey, Rumchata, and cream over ice – it may be necessary to clarify that you’re, in fact, ordering the cinnamony milkshake-like drink. Otherwise, you run the risk of soliciting a seductive shimmy from your bartender at any of the Metro’s eight (count ’em, eight) distinctive bars and clubs. MUERTE CALIENTE MARGARITA AT MOSSFIRE GRILL Mossfire Grill’s Muerte Caliente Margarita is not for the faint of heart. It all starts with the homemade habaneroinfused tequila, followed by agave nectar, fresh-squeezed lime juice, a splash of orange juice, and a salt/sugar mixture along the rim. Bring a napkin to wipe the beads of sweat from your forehead. On second thought, don’t be the weirdo who brings their own napkin to a bar. TULLY TEA AT O’BROTHERS IRISH PUB The Tully Tea – made from Tullamore Dew Irish Whiskey, peach liqueur, sour mix, and a splash of Sprite – is a peachy, refreshing, summer drink that’s more Jacksonville than Dublin. But never fear, that’s where those shots of Jameson come in. PICKLE BACK AT PARK PLACE Park Place keeps it simple and a little south of classy. The bar and package store is known for its “Mexican Hooker:” a shot of Cuervo Silver followed immediately by a shot of pickle juice. For those in the know, you can add an STD: a dash of hot sauce into the pickle juice. The bartender gave me an STD and said, “A little clap for you.” Keepin’ it classy at Park Place. $2 BEER AT RAIN DOGS. The variety (from hip-hop to punk to jazz to Afro-Cuban) and accessibility (usually five bucks gets you in the music venue) of shows at rain dogs. make it easy to forget that Riverside’s Five Points district is often lacking where live music is concerned. And though they’ve got an excellent selection of wines and rotating draft beers, washing down a $5 punk show with one (or several) of rain dogs.’ revolving selection of $2 cans – Old Milwaukee, Miller High Life, Genesee Cream Ale, you know, the classy bevs – is one of Five Points’ most pleasant experiences. THE BEAST AT SILVER COW This cozy beer-and-wine watering hole often goes beast-mode when curating highly alcoholic brews. Avery Brewing’s The Beast – a Grand Cru Belgian ale served in a 6-ounce glass, topping out somewhere between 16 and 19 percent ABV (a range that’s necessary because the beer continues to ferment in the keg) – is just one example of Silver Cow’s very interesting offerings, albeit one that is sure to F you up.
ST. AUGUSTINE
WICKED ELF AT A1A ALE WORKS There’s no full-fledged local brewery within the city limits, so corporately owned A1A Ale Works is as close as you’ll get, and it ain’t a bad substitute. There are three rotating seasonal taps and the winter rotation features Wicked Elf, a truly wicked full-body, sweetly malty Christmas ale with a nice punch. A TASTING FLIGHT AT ANCIENT CITY BREWING St. Augustine’s only local brewery makes sure you know the city’s story at the admittedly far-from-town brewery, with its beer names and soon-to-be canon taps. The flagship hop-forward Ponce’s Pale Ale uses equinox hops and faint notes of citrus and pine to distinguish itself from the profusion of pales in the area. And the Matanzas River Red and Castillo Coconut Porter add to the varied lineup of nine in-house beers, making a flight
At Karibrew (above) on Amelia Island, their signature Black & Stormy is sure to change the forecast of your emotional weather report; Jax Beach’s Flask & Cannon provides Victorian decorum in a glass with their What the Dickens?, a craft cocktail that’ll bring out the Oliver Twist in you.
well worth your effort to get to the cozy taproom on S.R. 16 and I-95. LABATT BLUE ON DRAFT AT ANN O’MALLEY’S You know the saying: When drinking in an Irish pub, order the Canadian beer on draft. Never heard that one? Then you’ve never been to St. Augustine’s-by-way-ofBuffalo’s hockey-obsessed Ann O’Malley’s Irish Pub (the oldest Irish pub in the Ancient City). The “blue” – available on draft in only a few lucky establishments in NEFL, including Ann O’Malley’s – tastes even better during the Stanley Cup playoffs. NAUGHTY AUSSIE AT BARLEY REPUBLIC IRISH GASTROPUB If you’re doing your St. Augustine drinking tour in as few nights as possible, like one writer of this fine publication who will remain unnamed, you’ll be about ready for a pick-me-up midway through. Nothing tastier than the Naughty Aussie, St. Augustine’s own Kookaburra coffee with Irish crème and Cruzan vanilla rum over ice. Deliciously invigorating! FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH MARTINI AT CELLAR 6 The Fountain of Youth specialty cocktail from this upscale wine bar off the historic district’s quaintbut-still-commercial Aviles Street is aptly named if only because putting its glasses’ blue agave-coated rim to your lips and guzzling down the St. Augustine Distillery’s Florida cane vodka, sweet blue liqueur, and a champagne floater masked by lemon and lime, will help you look like you’re ready to let loose. Furthermore, two of these and you’re liable to be as uninhibited as a collegiate at a Flagler College kegger. $3 MARGARITA AT GYPSY CAB/CORNER BAR Celebrate Cinco 52 days a year at St. Augustine’s cheapest fiesta: Taco Tuesday. If it’s Tuesday and you already spent your paycheck for the week, Corner Bar’s dollar tacos and three-dollar Margaritas will get you through. And if you gulp down enough tequila (at these prices, your wallet won’t notice until drink No. 6 or 7), a server will slap down a trivia card in front of your
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SAN MARCO
BARREL-AGED TEMPLETON RYE WHISKEY OLD-FASHIONED AT KITCHEN ON SAN MARCO
A classic Old-Fashioned can be enjoyed almost any place, but almost any place won’t be barrelaging their rye whiskey right in-house. Kitchen on San Marco uses a small barrel of 80-proof whiskey, aging the rye in plain view at the bar, to be used with classic ingredients to make a classic cocktail.
ORANGE PARK
ORIGINAL MARGARITA ON THE ROCKS AT TEXAS ROADHOUSE
Perhaps it’s not out of the ordinary to find margaritas at a steakhouse with Texas in the name, but it’s probably unexpected that it’s this damn good. Served in a robust glass with a man-sized layer of salt on the rim, the cocktail even includes an extra shot of tequila for good measure. Extraordinary!
DOWNTOWN
GUINNESS WITH A JAMESON SIDECAR AT FIONN MACCOOL’S IRISH PUB
You don’t need to be an Irishman to feel like one when you’ve got an ice-cold Guinness with a Sidecar of Jameson Irish whiskey in front of you at Fionn’s. After a couple of sips at this homey spot on the St. Johns River, you’ll be feeling seriously lucky.
ST. AUGUSTINE
CLOCKWORK ORANGE AT ICE PLANT BAR
Some drinks just taste better in Mason jars. And they taste even better when they’re a confluence of classic flavors, like carrot, ginger, lime, and pineapple. Swirl in gin and apple brandy, add some sprigs of fennel frond, and you’ve got a Clockwork Orange, one of the most popular drinks at a newish, very popular drinking establishment.
SOUTHSIDE
BOURBON DIVINITY AT WHISKEY JAX
The Southside’s newest, most fabulous spot has created a gateway cocktail for bourbon. Give it a stir and sip Bourbon Divinity; it thrills on the palate with a rich whiskey goodness that will tickle aficionados and indoctrinate firsttimers to a lifelong love affair with the sweet burn of bourbon.
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Looking for a spicy pick-me-up? Give the Dusty Boot a try at Black Sheep in 5 Points; by combining the classic allure of fine bourbon with smoked sea salt and cracked black pepper, they’ve created a drink with a swift kick.
bartender shakes up with triple sec, sour mix and Sierra Mist to create a quaff far beyond what that neighbor’s annoying kid sold at his lemonade stand last summer.
<<< FROM PREVIOUS face, because there’s nothing better than proving your useless pop culture knowledge after (has it really been nine already?!) salty Margarita delights. CATEGORY 5 HURRICANE AT HURRICANE PATTY’S Once you learn to curse the tourist traffic like a local, it’s time to kill some time, and brain cells, with the sailors at Hurricane Patty’s on Oyster Creek. While at least one bartender decries the bar’s namesake mixed beverage as any old fruity drink, you’ll want to try a Category 5 Hurricane anyway. Light and dark rum, Grenadine, passionfruit, orange juice, a cherry and an orange slice get you started, but the more Pusser’s Rum floaters you add, the more stormy you’ll be, and the more respect you’ll earn at this local seafood spot known for its salty characters. THE ASCOT AT JP HENLEY’S The best art is stolen. The Ascot is a Eugene, Oregoninspired “Old-World-style” drink with a healthy dose of Maker’s Mark bourbon, Disaronno Amaretto liqueur and peach bitters. Instead of Eugene’s “fancy stuff” licorice-y star anise seeds, Henley’s opts for Tuscany’s sweet herbal liqueur Galliano L’Autentico. TALL BUD LIGHT AT MILL TOP TAVERN Come to The Mill Top for the live music, an iconic waterwheel T-shirt, or a view of the fort from a deck wrapped around an impressive oak tree that surely has some stories to tell. You want to drink something? Isn’t that Tavern shot still powering your buzz? Fine, but make the Bud Light tall, because you’re going to want to sing along with the next tune the guy plays – even if it’s a crappy Gordon Lightfoot cover. CANARIO AT ODD BIRDS As the only cocktail that has weathered three months of rotation on Odd Birds’ creativity-inclined menu, the Canario – which features Old Forrester bourbon, Falernum (a syrupy almond liqueur), housemade ginger-turmeric syrup, and Angostura bitters – is a kind of delicious, spicy lemonade, served shaken with crushed ice and a lemon peel clothes-pinned to the rim of the glass. ITALIAN LEMONADE AT PIZZALLEY’S You can get Pizzalley’s housemade Italian lemonade any time of year and, with this weather, you’ll want it tomorrow. Waitstaff zests 80 lemons for each batch of premade vodka-infused limoncello, which your 26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 30, 2015-JANUARY 5, 2016
KASTEEL ROUGE AT RENDEZVOUS RESTAURANT If you can dodge the sweaty tourists desperate for A/C and hawkers of magic and jerky, Rendezvous, at the end of St. George’s Row, is worth a visit. Among a healthy selection of imports, Belgium’s Kasteel Rouge — an 8-percent, tastefully sweet blend of the sophisticated quadruple Kasteel Donker and black cherry liqueur – is the mainstay on rotating taps replete with beers of which the snobbiest American has never heard. JAMESON (STRAIGHT) AT ST. GEORGE’S TAVERN From Cape Cod to Ft. Myers, dive bar enthusiasts know about St. George’s Tavern. A dose of genuine in the middle of St. Augustine’s “history” show, it’s where you can escape the kids and the fakes for a shot and a beer. Or just Jameson. Straight. Do you want to get drunk or what? Great classics on the juke, too. WIPEOUT PAIN KILLER AT SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK Salt Life’s signature Wipeout Pain Killer is a take on the official cocktail of the Virgin islands, and delivers the needed punch of Pusser’s Rum with the recovery vitamins of pineapple and orange juice and creamy crème de coconut. The healthy finish of nutmeg adds the perfect dose of warmth to this beachy beverage. THE MATANZAS AT SANGRIAS This wine and tapas bar attracts its own mix of locals and tourists, with rooftop music that echoes through St. George Street on most weekend nights. The most popular sangria, The Matanzas, is a mix of two other house sangrias, garnished with a berry-interesting mix of blackberries, raspberries, blueberries and strawberries (get it? berryinteresting?), with some cinnamon apples thrown in to balance this drink that is, otherwise, fairly heavy on the saccharine. SPANISH OAK AT SCARLETT O’HARA’S Honoring the Ancient City’s oldest resident – a 600-year-old oak tree locals call the Senator – this bourbon-forward cocktail featuring with Buffalo Trace, Carpano Antica, and orange Curaçao liqueur is made with flare – literally: An orange peel is set on fire before being rubbed around the rim of the glass. VESPER MARTINI AT TINI MARTINI BAR Perch yourself on Tini Martini’s bayside porch; it’s perfect for espying the most ridiculous of pirates, tourists and pirate tourists – it’s the perfect opportunity to embrace your inner Bond. Order a Vesper martini – shaken, not stirred – and the vodka and gin cocktail, plus dry vermouth and bleu cheese olives, will make you more handsome, the pirates lovable, and your liver more black.
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martinis, a Mary’s exclusive, at this spot where Beach Boulevard meets San Marco meets fabulous. This 44-ounce – really! – concoction will have you flying high in no time.
<<< FROM PREVIOUS RUM PUNCH AT TRADEWINDS LOUNGE And there’s no drink more appropriate (not even a margarita, Mr. Buffett) to waste away with in St. Augustine than Tradewinds’ house recipe Rum Punch. At $4 a glass, it’s a good bet you’ll have plenty of cash left over to replace all the things you’ve lost after an afternoon under the lounge’s tiki-hut-inspired ceilings, listening (or singing along to) to rock ’n’ roll and/or Gulf ’n’ Western crooners – stuff like your keys, your phone, or your lost shaker of salt.
SAN MARCO, ST. NICHOLAS, SOUTHBANK
DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION COCKTAIL AT BISTRO AIX Bourbon, Branca Menta, in-house clove syrup, freshly muddled rosemary and lime, ginger beer, and black walnut bitters give the Double Secret a lemony zing and a gingery burn that’s perfect for winter. It’s a secret you certainly won’t have trouble keeping to yourself. EBOP & ROCKSTEADY AT GRAPE & GRAIN EXCHANGE Don’t worry if you don’t get the name reference — all that matters is that you get the drink: muddled lemon and mint, in-house burnt cherry syrup, bourbon, and allspice dram. This play on a Whiskey Smash won’t leave you smashed, just uninhibited enough to take on a Ninja Turtle villain. 44-OUNCE MARTINI AT HAMBURGER MARY’S Average days call for average bars. Exceptional days call for Hamburger Mary’s. Make an average day exceptional by ordering one of Jacksonville’s biggest Sweet dreams abound when you order the Chocolate Peanut Butter Cookie from Downtown’s Candy Apple Café (left); Fresh orange slices and Blue Curaçao combine to make Whitey’s Fish Camp’s Blue Gator the pride of Orange Park’s loyal Northeast Florida football fans.
CLISBY AT THE PARLOUR This slightly sweet yet subtle cocktail greets you like an old friend and invites you to sit for a while and share a story or two. Riverboat rye, Carpano Antica, Campari, dry Curaçao and two types of bitters, stirred and served with a twist of lemon, making this a perfect pre- or post-dinner drink. As ice melts and time passes, the drink continues open up and share, the way an old friend should. BUSCH LIGHT AT SHERWOOD’S You don’t need the bartender to tell you, the eyecatching vintage, catawampus signage and striped awnings, if not the Reno truck stop chic interior, should be all the stimuli you need to determine that this, friends, is a dive bar and you should behave as such: Order a cheap beer and indulge in the most sexually suggestive Skee-ball machine this side of First Baptist (a score of 400 or more means the beer is on the house). A $6 CLASSIC AT SIDECAR Combine some of Jax’s most skilled mixologists with one of the city’s best happy hours and you get an excellent value-proposition with any of the classic cocktails at San Marco’s Sidecar. Try a Vesper, a Manhattan, a Negroni, an Old-Fashioned, or a Jagerbomb (just kidding about that last one), created by one of Sidecar’s talented bartenders, and you’ll be well on your way to dismissing any swill that’s not up to snuff. TAVERNA YAMAS’ ICED TEA AT TAVERNA YAMAS There are a lot of ways to get turnt on the Southside, but none will get you there faster than Taverna Yamas’ take on the Long Island. Crown Royal and Captain Morgan duke it out against a backdrop of Coca-Cola and apples. Stay for a hookah, as it’s certainly not a good idea to drive after a few of these.
SOUTHSIDE, BAYMEADOWS
TIRAMISU MARTINI AT BELLA VITA Get cocoa-wasted with Bella Vita’s Tiramisu Martini – Absolut vanilla vodka, Kahlua and crème de cocoa. It’s a creamy Italian dessert in cocktail form. DRAGON FIRE MIST AT DANCING DRAGON Behold, a drink so new that Folio Weekly got input in its christening. The 70-proof Dragon Fire is infused with dragon fruit, lychee, and hot chilis. Mix this with fresh lemon, lime, sweet and sour, and grenadine, and the result is a drink with enough heat to make flames. THE RHUMBUIE AT MOXIE The well-balanced Rhumbuie is a true vacation from the ordinary. This combination of añejo rum, Drambuie, Turbinado sugar, aromatic bitters and fresh pineapple/lime juice is the latest creative creation of a young all-star, Moxie Bar Manager Johnny Schaefer. The fresh pineapple and full caramel color recall Jacksonville’s proximity to the Caribbean and, as the drink ends, a light sadness sets in, signaling the end of the vacay … until they bring the next round. CIGAR CITY HARD CIDER & FIREBALL AT MY PLACE BAR & GRILL Spicy cinnamon goodness and sweet apply cider give this amalgamation a sugary fire. Sidle up next to that hottie at the bar and order a round or two. Whether you shoot and chase it or mix them up in a glass, you’re gonna be burning for more. GARDEN MULE AT TIME OUT SPORTS GRILL Screw farm-to-table — Time Out goes garden-toglass with its citrusy take on the drink of the moment. Time Out’s Garden Mule — muddled cucumber, citrus vodka, ginger beer, and a lime garnish — is much more Jacksonville than Moscow. SCOUT DOG 44 AMBER ALE AT VETERANS UNITED BREWERY Upon arrival, you’ll feel like Jennifer Connelly in Labyrinth, but Veterans United is worth the quest into Southside’s warehouse district. Scout Dog 44 Amber Ale – coming soon to a six-pack near you – is a smooth amber oasis of caramel malt with a perfect pinch of noble hot bitterness.
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SOUTHSIDE
PINEFIN MARTINI AT MITCHELL’S FISH MARKET
Something magical happens when you infuse Finlandia vodka with pineapple, shake it over ice with a dash of fruity sweetness and strain it into a martini glass: You create the taste of summer. Don’t be fooled by the light, fresh flavor – it’s the strongest that they make. Ooohh, yeah!
DOWNTOWN
TEQUILA SHRUB AT SBRAGA & CO. DINING
At Sbraga, it’s possible to drink autumn in a glass. Satsuma oranges give this shrub its bright flavor that complements cinnamon, raw sugar, white balsamic vinegar, and Espolón tequila that’s oh, so, smooth. And vinegar lowers body temperature, making this a drink for all seasons.
SOUTHSIDE
WEEDED IN PARADISE AT OVINTÉ
This is one of the most unique drinks in Jacksonville – heck, maybe even the world. Whichever genius thought to combine Yellow Chartreuse, Mezcal, Bacardi Ocho and a twist of orange with aromatic cloves should be given the Medal of Valor, or at least a congratulatory high five.
SAN MARCO
MARTINEZ AT TAVERNA
Attention James Bond: Taverna’s Martinez is stirred, not shaken. And it packs a punch, with Ransom Old Tom Gin, Maraschino Liqueur, sweet vermouth, and orange bitters. The drink wouldn’t be complete without a rub of orange peel along the rim to boost the citrusy aroma.
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A+E // FILM
ICE COLD REVENGE Leonardo DiCaprio stars in a brutal REVENGE TALE g even the that challenges heartiest viewers
A
glimpse of anything like happiness. The entire s long as you can still grab a breath, you picture is a glum exercise in survival that only fight,” Hugh Glass (Leonardo DiCaprio) gets worse, never better. tells his ailing son Hawk (Forrest Goodluck) Based on a true story, DiCaprio plays Hugh, in the opening moments of The Revenant, a fur trapper on a hunting expedition that’s the latest from Birdman director Alejandro under constant threat of attack from the natives González Iñárritu. These are words Hugh and French hunters. It’s the 1820s in a lawless himself will soon live by, and an apt message for land, and fur pelts are the common currency; anyone struggling through a hardship. the more you bring home to sell, the better. Pelts Such words also describe the troubled are also easily, are often, stolen. While separated production of the film: It was shot in from his group, Hugh is mauled by a grizzly chronological order over a span of nine bear in one of the most frightening, brutal and months in (mostly) Northern Canada, using horrifying scenes I’ve viewed only natural light, meaning onscreen; three weeks of rehearsal they could shoot for only small THE REVENANT and a computer-generated portions of each day. DiCaprio **G@ bear made this a haunting, got the flu multiple times, and Rated R unforgettable sequence. some crewmembers quit due to the harsh conditions — one even Hugh is cared for by his called it “a living hell.” The budget fellow hunters, but slowing soared to $135 million and the frigid weather them down. Believing Hugh’s death is near, was a constant headache — a makeup bag the captain (Domhnall Gleeson) asks two even froze to the floor. men – Chip (Will Poulter) and Fitzgerald (an None of this, of course, should matter to us excellent Tom Hardy) – to stay behind with the in the end, because the movie is either good or teenage Hawk and Hugh to make sure the man it isn’t. While the acting and cinematography gets a proper burial. Fearing attack, Fitzgerald are tremendous, watching The Revenant is an panics, kills Hawk and buries Hugh alive altogether unpleasant experience. When it’s before leaving to catch up with the other men. over, you’ll feel dirty, like you need a shower. What proceeds is nearly two hours of Hugh There’s not one scene, moment, or even a struggling to find those who wronged him and
PAY-TO-SLAY
LOOKING FORWARD TO QUENTIN TARANTINO’S
The Hateful Eight over the holidays, I was forcefully reminded of his influence on contemporary film by a terrific new Australian movie which just had a DVD release after its a negligible impact at the box-offi ce. It’s hard to understand why it did so poorly since Kill Me Three Times has so much in common with Pulp Fiction, especially the structure, style, violence, and humor. I suspect the major reason for its quick demise at the theater, other than marketing failure (a factor which should never be overlooked in terms of a film’s success or otherwise), is the movie’s lack of familiar starpower — most cast members were relative unknowns. The big exception is British funnyman Simon Pegg, who rarely misses in whatever role he plays — from Mission: Impossible and Star Trek to Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. He’s definitely on target again in Kill Me Three Times. Sporting a nifty variation of a Fu Manchu mustache, Pegg plays absolutely ruthless hitman Charlie Wolfe, who’s involved in three separate but linked murders-for-hire. Charlie is also the film’s narrator who, in the opening sequence, is in the process of dying. Never without a wry comment when he kills someone else, about his own demise Charlie observes that this isn’t the way it was supposed to happen. 30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 30, 2015-JANUARY 5, 2016
The rest of Kill Me Three Times reveals how Charlie has gotten himself in his unenviable position. What attention the film managed to attract from reviewers in its limited appearance on U.S. screens was often dismissive in terms of the obvious parallels to other Pulp-inspired ’90s movies. Kill Me Three Times, though, is more than just a retro-trip to the Land of Pulp. Like Tarantino and his co-writer Roger Avary, director Kriv Stenders and scripter James McFarland are also riffing on similarly familiar but still classic elements of film noir in general, just like the Coen Brothers in Blood Simple a full decade before Pulp Fiction. Like the Coens and Tarantino, all of whom consciously draw from prior film models in many of their movies, Stenders and McFarland are imitative, too, but without sacrificing quality. Since so much of the film’s pleasure derives from its plot, I’ll be scanty on the details. Into the complicated brew are mixed an unfaithful wife (x2), a jealous husband, a vengeful lover, a crooked cop, and a luckless dentist. And, of course, the hitman who is trying to make heads and tails of everyone and everything else involved. Apart from the unconventional chronology of events, some of which are revisited from more than one viewpoint, Kill Me Three Times also profits from the Australian scenery and good performances from its eclectic cast. The two female leads are played by blonde Australian Teresa Palmer (I Am Number Four, Bedtime Stories) and brunette Brazilian Alice Braga
enact his revenge, all while terribly injured and battling the elements. Smaller moments, such as Hugh trying to drink water only to have it come out through the gash the bear left in his neck, may be more notable, but consider DiCaprio’s performance as a whole: He goes about an hour with no dialog at all, relying on his bearded, marred face and heavy breathing to relay all that Hugh is thinking and feeling. His character also endures freezing rapids, starvation, frigid temperatures, constant danger and falling off a cliff. Most of the time, all we hear is groaning and struggling, and in a way that says it all. Iñárritu and Mark L. Smith’s screenplay (based in part on the novel by Michael Punke) doesn’t need to give him more dialog, because his motivations are obvious: Survive and avenge. One reason Hugh’s desperation feels so palpably real is two-time Oscar-winning cinematographer Emmanuel Lubezki (Gravity), who creates a bold and daring visual experience. His camera moves swiftly and fluidly among the men and the landscape, with frequent closeups of characters showing the anguish felt by all due to the elements. Note the low angle shots that look up to faces, often with trees high above their heads, and shots of mountains and other natural elements, all of which suggest how insignificant humans are to their larger surroundings. They may be fighting one another, but the common enemy of nature is their biggest foe of all. At 156 minutes, The Revenant is an endurance test to sit through. Hugh’s arduous trek takes him from one near-escape to the next, and after a while the awfulness of his situation becomes overwhelming. This is an audacious, brave movie, an original tale told with real guts and conviction, but it’s not enjoyable to watch. And yet, there’s so much to admire about it, you cannot deny its substance and all that it does well. You may not like The Revenant, but you will respect it. Dan Hudak mail@folioweekly.com
MAGIC LANTERNS
(Elysium, I Am Legend). Palmer plays the bitch, Braga the harried heroine — both convincingly. Luke Hemsworth, older brother of Chris and Liam, is a chunkier and shorter hunk than his younger siblings, but his acting skills are equal to the family genes. It’s no surprise he plays a tough romantic. Another face of particular interest in the film is Bryan Brown, former leading man and star of movies as diverse as Breaker Morant, Cocktail, F/X, and Gorillas in the Mist, all of them major hits in the ’80s, as well as the ’83 TV miniseries The Thorn Birds. For the last few decades, however, Brown has restricted himself to extensive work both in television and film in his native Australia. In Kill Me Three Times, he’s appropriately menacing and still plenty physical as the dirty cop. Character, however, is secondary to plot this time, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing, as no less a critic than Aristotle would agree. For now, however, put aside the Poetics and grab the popcorn. Kill Me Three Times is that kind of movie. Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com
FILM LISTINGS FILM RATINGS NEW YEAR ****
NEW CAR ***@
NEW CHALLENGE **@@ NEW WARRANT *@@@
SCREENINGS AROUND TOWN SUN-RAY CINEMA Star Wars The Force Awakens and The Big Short screen at 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. A Very Rocky New Year’s Eve runs Dec. 31 and Jan. 1. THE CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ The Man from U.N.C.L.E and Learning to Drive are running. Winters Bones runs noon and 6 p.m. Dec. 31. New Year’s Eve: Date Night, a beverage and a small popcorn, 7:30 p.m. Dec. 31; $15. 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com. IMAX THEATER Star Wars The Force Awakens screens at World Golf Hall of Fame IMAX Theater, St. Johns, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com. Secret Ocean starts Jan. 4.
NOW SHOWING ALVIN & THE CHIPMUNKS: THE ROAD CHIP Rated PG Those zany little fellas are back and seem to be mistaken in their belief that their human buddy/manager Dave (Jason Lee … you know, the devil in Dogma) is going to leave them high and dry when he gets married. Hilarity and mass confusion ensue. Costars voices of Kaley Cuoco, Anna Faris, Christina Applegate, Matthew Gray Gubler (that brainy guy on Criminal Minds), Justin Long (voicing Alvin himself), and Kimberly Williams Paisley (Brad’s wife). THE BIG SHORT **** Rated R This takes the mortgage crisis that precipitated the fallout and breaks it into small, digestible pieces that are easy to comprehend. Add some strong performances by A-list actors, creative flourishes and a few squirmy laughs and you have one of the best movies of 2015. Based on Michael Lewis’ nonfiction bestseller, the story focuses on three groups of individuals who see the meltdown looming, even though the mortgage industry was flourishing in the early-to-mid-2000s. In 2005, San Jose money manager Michael Burry (Christian Bale) looked where others weren’t looking and saw that adjustable rate mortgages were going to price regular folks out of their homes in a few years. Wall Street banker Jared Vennett (Ryan Gosling), enlists hot-headed hedge fund manager Mark Baum (Steve Carell) and his team so they can all make millions. Upstart money managers Jamie Shipley (Finn Wittrock) and Charlie Geller (John Magaro) bring in former banker Ben Rickert (Brad Pitt) for financial assistance and guidance. These three separate packs converge and rake it in. — Dan Hudak BROOKLYN Rated PG-13 Eilis Lacey (Saoirse Ronan) is a young Irish woman just relocated to 1950s Brooklyn. She meets Tony (Emory Cohen) and falls in love. Then something needs her attention back in Ireland and she has to pick her life – here or there? Costars the awesome Julie Walters, as well as Domhnall Gleeson, Jim Broadbent and Brid Brennan. CHI-RAQ Rated R Director Spike Lee offers an updated take on Aristophanes’ drama Lysistrata, with an amazing cast – Nick Cannon, Teyonah Parris, Wesley Snipes, Angela Bassett, Samuel L. Jackson, John Cusack, Jennifer Hudson, D.B. Sweeney, Dave Chappelle – amid the violence in Chicago, challenging the racism and sexism it foments. CONCUSSION Rated PG-13 Will Smith will always be a lil bit Fresh Prince to us, but here he plays forensic neuropathologist Dr. Bennett Omalu, who discovers an anomaly in the brain of a pro football player during an autopsy. He encounters many seemingly insurmountable obstacles when he tries to get the truth about the violence and deadly damage associated with the concussions suffered by playing contact sports. Costars Alec Baldwin, Albert Brooks, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Paul Reiser and Arliss Howard. CREED Rated PG-13 “Yo, (mumble, mumble) can’t sing or dance.” Apollo Creed’s son Adonis (played by Michael B. Jordan) thinks he wants to be a boxer like his father, whom he never knew. So he goes looking for that lovable palooka Rocky Balboa (do we even have to tell you he’s played by Sylvester Stallone?) in Philly. Costars Phylicia Rashad, Max Kellerman, Jim Lampley, Elvis Grant and Tessa Thompson. DADDY’S HOME Rated PG-13 The comedy pits Will Ferrell against Mark Wahlberg with borderline amusing results. Ferrell is regular guy Brad, new stepdad to Dylan and Megan (Owen Vaccaro, Scarlett Estevez), the kids of his new wife Sara (Linda Cardellini). Wahlberg plays the kids’ biological dad Dusty, a muscle-bound, motorcycle-riding, black-T-shirt-wearing hunk who’s competing with Brad for the kids’ affections. Or is he? Costars Thomas Haden Church, Bobby Cannavale and Hannibal Buress. Kobe Bryant and John Cena pop up, too. THE HATEFUL EIGHT Rated R Quentin Tarantino has made a movie about some
really bad guys with no moral boundaries. What a switch for him, huh? This one is way out West, in the effing dead of winter, snow piled two miles high, in a cabin where desperate folks take refuge. Among these stellar individuals are ruthless bounty hunters, criminals and killers, steeped in typical Tarantino violence – so much so that it’s almost hohum to watch. Except Samuel L. Jackson is in this and he’s awesome. Along with SLJ are Kurt Russell, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Walton Goggins. Michael Masden, Bruce I’m-still-crazy Dern, Belinda Owino and Channing EEEE! Tatum. IN THE HEART OF THE SEA **@@ Rated PG-13 In 1850, author Herman Melville (Ben Whishaw) bribes Tom Nickerson (Brendan Gleeson), a retired sailor, to discuss a voyage he’d taken 30 years before. This voyage, Melville suspects, includes a giant sperm whale attacking people, leaving them stranded with little hope of survival. Nothing like this had ever happened, so it’d be great material for a story if Thomas can give details. Costars Tom Holland, Benjamin Walker, Chris Hemsworth and Cillian Murphy. — DH JOY Rated PG-13 Director David O. Russell offers a feel-good movie about a real-life young woman, Joy Mangano (Jennifer Lawrence), who invented the Miracle Mop and some other household stuff no one can apparently live without and consequently cleans up, as her product begats a very successful corporation, where she’s able to employ several family members. Costars Robert De Niro, Bradley Cooper, Edgar Ramirez, Diane Ladd, Virginia Madsen, Isabella Rossellini, Susan Lucci and Ken Howard. POINT BREAK Rated PG-13 Yes, my God, this is a remake of that eye-candy brain-pudding crap from 1991 where the only reason anyone went was to ogle Keanu and Patrick and that blue-eyed chick. Anyway, tyro FBI agent Utah (Luke Bracey) goes undercover blah, blah against extreme-sports-dude-professional-thief Bodhi (Edgar Ramirez) and blah-blah. There are some nice waves, and snowboarding, rock climbing and some lunatics doing that wingsuit flying – which is just a death wish as far as we can tell – and lots of things blowing up. THE REVENANT **G@ Rated R Reviewed in this issue. SECRET IN THEIR EYES **@@ Rated PG-13 In this dull thriller, three friends, played by Nicole Kidman, Julia Roberts and Chiwetel Ejiofor, are investigating the murder of Carolyn Cobb (Zoe Graham), who was district attorney investigator Jess’ (Roberts) teenage daughter. It’s now a cold case and the lead investigator, Ray (Ejiofor), is so convinced the killer is a guy named Marzan (Joe Cole), there’s no room for mystery. SISTERS **G@ Rated R Their parents are selling the family home, so two sisters (Amy Poehler, Tina Fey) decide to throw a final bash there. Is it just us, or do Poehler’s smirk and Fey’s condescending manner seem a little too snarky these days? Costars Maya Rudolph, James Brolin, Dianne Weist, John Cena, Bobby Moynihan and Rachel Dracht. SPOTLIGHT **** Rated R Inspired by a January 2002 report in The Boston Globe, about the sex abuse scandal that rocked the Catholic Church in 2002, the film follows the investigative Spotlight team as it researches sexual abuse by priests in the Boston area and the widespread knowledge and cover-up by people in power, including Cardinal Bernard Law (Len Cariou). The Spotlight team includes editor Walter “Robby” Robinson (Michael Keaton) and reporters Mike Rezendes (Mark Ruffalo), Sacha Pfeiffer (Rachel McAdams) and Matt Carroll (Brian d’Arcy James). — DH STAR WARS THE FORCE AWAKENS **G@ Rated PG-13 You know director J.J. Abrams’ Star Wars: The Force Awakens is in trouble from the opening action scene, a standard compound shootout that lacks the originality that so infused the saga begun in 1983. In fact, all of the action and visual effects are surprisingly mediocre – there’s nothing here that makes us say “wow.” It’s a letdown, considering how creative the movies have been. There are some notable surprises and good laughs (including genuinely funny moments from Han and the BB8), and some familiar faces pop up – it’s like seeing forgotten pals from high school at your 30th reunion. There is far too much left unexplained – information is deliberately not revealed that absolutely, positively should have been. Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill), the last living Jedi, has vanished. The villainous First Order wants Luke dead so it can reclaim the Galaxy from the Republic. General Leia Organa (Carrie Fisher), leader of the Resistance for the Republic, sends a pilot (Oscar Isaac) to the planet Jakku to find a clue to Luke’s hideout. The shootout begins soon thereafter. The heroes are Rey (Daisy Ridley), who is a local on Jakku, with an adorable droid called the BB8, and former stormtrooper Finn (John Boyega). Later, Han Solo (Harrison Ford) and Chewbacca (Peter Mayhew) join the fight. The villains are the unimposing Kylo Ren (Adam Driver), General Hux (Domhnall Gleeson), and Supreme Leader Snoke (Andy Serkis). Anthony Daniels and Kenny Baker return as C-3PO and R2-D2, respectively, and Gwendoline Christie and Lupita Nyong’o are under-utilized in small roles. — DH
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BEST BIG SCREEN ON THE
IN 2015
Folio Weekly Magazine’s TOP 10 cinematic offerings for 2015
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o studio in the history of the film industry has enjoyed a better year than Universal Pictures’ 2015 — and it accomplished it in only seven months. Ample critical acclaim for its films is one thing, but the box office numbers — which are what really matters in Hollywood — are mind-blowing. The studio commanded a nearly 24 percent market share of all box office grosses, which totaled nearly $2.4 billion domestically, and seven of its 22 films grossed more than $100 million. What’s more, having Jurassic World ($652 million), Furious Seven ($353 million), Minions ($336 million) and Pitch Perfect 2 ($184 million) be such runaway hits makes up for the disappointments of Crimson Peak (only $31 million) and Steve Jobs (a paltry $17 million). But enough about numbers and studio bragging rights. This wasn’t a great year for movies, but the films that stand out seem more a reflection of our times than the products of any other year in recent memory. Here are our 10 best movies of 2015:
10) MAD MAX: FURY ROAD At a time when action movies readily objectify women but rarely let them be heroes, this film — for all its nonstop action, crazy stunts, memorable characters, morbid storyline and bold visual choices — made Charlize Theron’s Furiosa arguably the strongest, most butt-kicking character of all. The entire movie is a stylish two-hour action scene that’s pure adrenaline. Available on Blu-ray and DVD. 9) BEST OF ENEMIES The best documentary of 2015 chronicles the war of words in televised debates between the liberal Gore Vidal and the conservative William F. Buckley during the 1968 presidential election year’s political conventions. Cordial political discourse this is not; it’s a treat to watch these heavyweight windbags sadistically go at it, and scary when we realize this is par for the course for TV pundits today. Available on Blu-ray and DVD. 8) THE WALK I’m still sweating from the finale of Frenchman Philippe Petit on a high wire strung between the World Trade Towers in the summer of 1974. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is captivating as Petit, and when the visual effects put you on that wire 110 stories above the New York City pavement, hold on tight. What an experience. On Blu-ray and DVD Jan. 5. 7) CAROL A beautiful love story, beautifully told. Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara are superb as women in 1952 who fall in love and yearn to be together in a society that doesn’t know how to accept homosexuality. The production design, costumes and musical score are also sublime. In theaters now. 32 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 30, 2015-JANUARY 5, 2016
A+E // FILM 6) STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON Musical biopics have a way of hitting the same beats (pun intended), but this story, about pioneer hip-hop group N.W.A., resonated at a higher level. It clicks with a racial tension still felt in some parts of America today, then hits you with an emotional ending you didn’t see coming (unless you already knew the story). If only all musical biopics were this good. Available on Blu-ray and DVD Jan. 19.
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5) BROOKLYN Saoirse Ronan is outstanding as an Irish émigré in 1950s Brooklyn, New York, in this beautifully shot drama from director John Crowley (Intermission). It’s about the immigrant experience, the heart being torn between homes new and old, and the invigoration and conflicts that come with falling in love. Ronan gives the performance of the year as she takes us through the heroine’s journey — a Best Actress nomination is surely forthcoming. In theaters now.
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4) INFINITELY POLAR BEAR From the best female lead performance to the best male lead performance — this movie came and went criminally quick over the summer, which was a shame, given Mark Ruffalo’s standout turn as a bipolar father of two daughters who’s left to care for the girls when his wife moves to New York City. It’s funny, sweet and poignant, a genuinely inspiring heart-warmer that deserves to be seen. Available on Blu-ray and DVD.
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3) THE BIG SHORT Great star power (Brad Pitt, Steve Carell, Ryan Gosling, Christian Bale, Marisa Tomei), surprising humor and masterful direction headline this superb work by director Adam McKay, heretofore best known for Will Ferrell comedies. At the beginning of the film, you may not be familiar with the housing market crisis of 2008 or understand why the economy crashed shortly thereafter, but you can be darn sure it’ll all make sense by the time you leave. Explaining it all so clearly is a masterstroke by McKay. In theaters now. 2) SPOTLIGHT No-frills storytelling at its absolute best. What’s great about co-writer and director Tom McCarthy’s film is how it so rarely resorts to histrionics for effect. This is about The Boston Globe’s investigation into sexual abuse by Catholic priests, and the pursuit for the truth provides all the tension and suspense we can handle. The more we learn, the more eager we are for the reporters to “nail these scumbags,” as Mark Ruffalo’s
1 intrepid reporter passionately emotes. In theaters now. 1) THE MARTIAN In a year full of crazy extravaganzas, this was the most extravagant of all. Matt Damon gives the performance of his career as astronaut Mark Watney, a botanist who’s left behind on Mars after a storm forces his crew to evacuate. Director Ridley Scott deftly balances Mark’s survival, NASA’s rescue attempts and Mark’s crew as they travel back to Earth in a way that logically builds tension and looks absolutely fabulous. It’s an exciting, invigorating, and altogether spectacular movie that in a just world will get a Best Picture Oscar nod. Available on home video Jan. 12. Dan Hudak mail@folioweekly.com
+ EVENTS ARTS ARTS + EVENTS
The exhibit Black Wings: American Dreams of Flight, which chronicles the history of AfricanAmericans in aviation, is on display at The Ritz Theatre & Museum through Jan. 17, Downtown.
NEW YEAR’S EVE EVENTS (All events are on Dec. 31 unless otherwise noted)
A STARRY NIGHT New Year’s Eve at the Alhambra features live music by Colleen Orender & the Chris Thomas Band, champagne reception and hors d’oeuvres, dinner, midnight champagne toast and balloon drop, and a midnight breakfast buffet at Alhambra Theatre, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 6411212; $125; formal wear requested; reservations required, alhambrajax.com. BLACK & WHITE MASQUERADE GALA Food, open bar, live music by Papa Sol, dancing and fireworks, starting 9 p.m. at The Ritz-Carlton, Amelia Island, 4750 Amelia Island Parkway; black and white dress encouraged; masks provided; $225, 277-1100, ritzcarlton.com. FREEBIRD LIVE NEW YEAR Grandpa’s Cough Medicine, Bryce Alastair Band and Dirty Pete perform at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 246-2473, freebirdlive.com. Check it: last NYE at Freebird. MAVERICKS LIVE CELEBRATION The eighth annual Smokin Aces Party features party favors, a midnight champagne toast and balloon drop, starting 8 p.m. at Mavericks Live, Jax Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, $10-$15; tables $50 per seat; reservations 6608511, mavericksatthelanding.com NEW YEAR’S EVE PARTY A champagne toast at midnight, free buffet, drink specials and bottle specials are featured at Gold Club, 320 Gen. Doolittle Dr., Regency, 645-5500, jacksonvillegoldclub.com. NEW YEAR’S EVE BASH An à la carte menu and DJ Vito are featured at Culhane’s Irish Pub, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595. NEW YEAR’S EVE WITH SWAMP RADIO Host Ian Mairs presents stories, conversations, Parker Urban Band and Complicated Animals, The Retreads comedy team, 8 p.m. at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $30, floridatheatre.com, swampradiojax.com. KITCHEN ON SAN MARCO Award-winning gastropub (FW readers voted it Best New Restaurant) offers a special menu 11 a.m.-10 p.m. at 1402 San Marco Blvd.; reservations 396-2344, kitchenonsanmarco.com. LYNCH’S IRISH PUB Live music, party favors and a champagne toast at Lynch’s, 514 N. First St., Jax Beach, 249-5181, lynchsirishpub.com. FOXY LADY CRUISES A DJ spins for dancing, and fireworks and champagne are featured 9 p.m.-1 a.m. aboard the river cruise ship, docking at River City Marina, Southbank, $7; reservations at 3989533, foxyladycruises.com. NEW YEAR’S EVE at THE COMEDY ZONE The celebration, featuring Shaun Jones and Sid Davis, prime rib and crab leg dinner, dancing, party favors, and champagne toast at midnight, is offered at 6:30 p.m. (with dinner; comedy show at 7:45, $69); 8:30 p.m. (with dinner; comedy show at 9:45, $69), and the Blast-Off at 9 p.m. (without dinner; comedy show with champagne toast and party favors, $39) at 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, 292-4242, comedyzone.com. NEW YEAR’S EVE BASH A champagne toast, giveaways, balloon drop, breakfast at midnight and live music by South Prong are featured at Whitey’s Fish Camp, 2032 C.R. 220, Fleming Island; $10, $20 table for four; reservations 269-4198, whiteysfishcamp.com. TAVERNA YAMAS Greek cuisine, party favors, a DJ, a midnight champagne toast, and a belly dancer are featured 8 p.m.-2 a.m. at Taverna Yamas, 9753 Deer Lake Court, St. Johns Town Center; $40; reservations at 854-0426, tavernayamas.com.
333NYE: CHROMA COLOR This fête has a DJ, hors d’oeuvres, open bar, live entertainment, gambling tables and midnight ball drop countdown. Black tie, cocktail or costume attire. Starts 9:30 p.m. VIP entry; 10 p.m.-2 a.m. at MOCA Jacksonville, 333 N. Laura St., Downtown; $90 + tax, VIP $250 + tax, reservations at 366-6911, mocajacksonville.org/ event/333nye. MONKEY’S UNCLE TAVERN DJ Austin Williams spins Karaoke and dance music Dec. 31; no cover charge. Dirty Pete plays New Year’s Day, and DJ Austin is back for the last two nights at Monkey’s as they close; at 1850 S. Third St., Jax Beach, 246-1070, monkeysuncletavern.com. FIONN MACCOOL’S IRISH PUB Live music by Captain Obvious is featured 9 p.m.-2 a.m. at Fionn MacCool’s, Jax Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 374-1547, fionnmacs.com. NEW YEAR’S EVE BASH A champagne toast at midnight, free buffet, drink specials and bottle specials are featured at Scores, 4923 University Blvd. W., Southside, 739-6966, jacksonvillescores.com. NYE PARTY The Gootch entertains at 10 p.m. at Flying Iguana Taqueria & Tequila Bar, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680, flyingiguana.com. NEW YEAR’S EVE with TOM McTIERNAN The celebration features comedian McTiernan, dinner, dancing, party favors, and midnight champagne toast, 8 p.m. at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-4277, $53+tax, jacksonvillecomedy.com. NEW YEAR’S EVE AT SIDECAR Party favors, a champagne toast, live DJ and an ice luge are featured starting at 10 p.m. at Sidecar, 1406 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, no cover charge, 527-8990, drinksidecar.com. DOS GATOS MASQUERADE DANCE PARTY DJ Nick Fresh spins, there’s free champagne and tequila at midnight, masks are provided while supplies last; $5 before 10 p.m., $10 until midnight (free after); 123 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 354-0666, dosgatosjax.com. FLASK & CANNON Party favors, champagne toast, live music and an ice luge are featured starting 10 p.m. at Flask & Cannon, 524 N. First St., Jax Beach; no cover, 553-2723, flaskandcannon.com. TOAST! TO THE NEW YEAR! The Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra rings in the new year with desserts, champagne, live music by the Marc Dickman Jazz Quintet, dancing, fireworks and champagne toast at midnight, starting at 9 p.m. at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 Water St., Downtown, 354-5547, $45-$125, jaxsymphony.org. UNITY PLAZA Live music by Mondo Mike & the Po Boys and DJ Gatty, and cuisine by Sbraga & Co., 7 p.m.-midnight at Unity Plaza, 220 Riverside Ave., Jacksonville; call for details 220-5380, unityplaza.org. BEACH BLAST OFF 2016 This annual celebration features a kids zone, mechanical bull, photo booth, ice sculptures, fireworks, a chili cook-off and live music by Old Enough to Know Better and Papercutt; food, champagne, beer and wine available for purchase; 5-10 p.m. at St. Johns County Fishing Pier & Pavilion, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, sabevents.com. NOON YEAR’S EVE This kid-centric celebration is held 10 a.m.-1 p.m. at Jacksonville Zoo & Gardens, 370 Zoo Parkway, Jacksonville. Entertainment, party favors, games, live music by Dalton Cyr, prizes and an apple juice toast at noon are featured. Free with zoo admission. 757-4463, jacksonvillezoo.org.
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+ EVENTS ARTS ARTS + EVENTS PERFORMANCE
HONKY TONK ANGELS This country-flavored musical, about a young girl who follows her dream of being a singer and heads to Nashville, is staged Jan. 5-Feb. 7. Dinner 6 p.m.; brunch at noon, with Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menu; 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $35-$59 plus tax, 6411212, alhambrajax.com. THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER The comedy, about holiday havoc that ensues when two unruly kids are cast in a Christmas play, is staged 7:30 p.m. Dec. 31 and Jan. 1; 2 and 7:30 p.m. Jan. 2 and 2 p.m. Jan. 3 at Limelight Theatre, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, 825-1164, $15-$26, limelight-theatre.org.
CLASSICAL, CHOIR & JAZZ
TOAST! TO THE NEW YEAR! The Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra rings in the new year with desserts, champagne, live music by Marc Dickman Jazz Quintet, dancing, fireworks and champagne toast at midnight, 9 p.m. Dec. 31 at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 Water St., Downtown, 354-5547, $45-$125, jaxsymphony.org. JAZZ IN ATLANTIC BEACH Guitarist Taylor Roberts, 7-10 p.m. Tue. and Wed. at Ocean 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060, ocean60.com.
COMEDY
NEW YEAR’S EVE at THE COMEDY ZONE Shaun Jones and Sid Davis, prime rib and crab leg dinner, dancing, party favors, and champagne toast at midnight, at 6:30 p.m. (with dinner; comedy show at 7:45, $69); 8:30 p.m. (with dinner; comedy show at 9:45, $69), and 9 p.m. (without dinner; comedy show with champagne toast, $39) at 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, 292-4242, comedyzone.com. NEW YEAR’S EVE with TOM McTIERNAN Comedian Tom McTiernan, dinner, dancing, party favors, and midnight champagne toast, 8 p.m. at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-4277, $53 + tax, jacksonvillecomedy.com. SID DAVIS Comic Davis, repeat winner of the San Luis Obispo Comedy Festival, is on 7:30 and 9:45 p.m. Jan. 2 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, 292-4242, $15-$18, comedyzone.com.
CALLS & WORKSHOPS
(NEU) SONICS MUSIC INITIATIVE Experimental saxophonist-composer Jamison Williams offers a six-week course of workshops with local and visiting improv musician-instructors, at Karpeles Manuscript Library Museum, 101 W. First St., Downtown; sessions begin Jan. 30; neusonics.org. ONE SPARK APPLICATIONS One Spark 2016 accepts Creator applications; onespark.com. ARTS IN THE PARK ENTRIES The annual limited, juried April event held at Atlantic Beach’s Johansen Park seeks applications; coab.us.
ART WALKS & MARKETS
WEDNESDAY MARKET Produce, arts, crafts, food, live music, 8 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Dec. 30, St. Johns Pier Park, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 347-8007, thecivicassociation.org. COMMUNITY FARMERS & ART MARKET Art, crafts, jewelry, 4-7 p.m. Dec. 30, 4300 St. Johns Ave., Riverside, 607-9935.
FIRST FRIDAY ART WALK The tour of Art Galleries of St. Augustine is held 5-9 p.m. every first Friday, with more than 15 galleries participating, 829-0065.
MUSEUMS
BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY PARK 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657, beachesmuseum. org. Naval Station Mayport: Guardian of the Southern Frontier Exhibit runs through Feb. 12. CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummermuseum.org. The exhibit Conservation, Beautification, and a City Plan: Ninah Cummer and the Establishment of Jacksonville Parks is on display through Nov. 27, 2016. Julien De Casablanca: The Outings Project is on display through May 1. Rockwell Kent: The Shakespeare Portfolio is on display through May 15. David Hayes: The Sentinel Series, sculptures of geometrically abstract, organic forms, displays through Oct. 2. The exhibit Women, Art & Social Change: The Newcomb Pottery Enterprise, 20th-century ceramics, displays through Jan. 2. KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992. New works by Mac Truque are on display through Jan. 2. Baseball: Origins & Early History, through December. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911, mocajacksonville.com. Project Atrium: Ian Johnston, Johnston’s Fish Tales, themes of consumption and material waste, through Feb. 28. Smoke and Mirrors: Sculpture & The Imaginary, 3D and installation works by sculptors Chul Hyun Ahn, James Clar, Patrick Jacobs, Ken Matsubara, Daniel Rozin, and Kathleen Vance, through Jan. 24. Allegory of Fortune: Photographs by Amanda Rosenblatt, is on display through March 27. THE RITZ THEATRE & MUSEUM 829 N. Davis St., 807-2010, ritzjacksonville.com. The exhibit Black Wings: American Dreams of Flight is on display through Jan. 17.
GALLERIES
ARCHWAY GALLERY & FRAMING 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-2222, archway galleryandframing.com. Christmas in Florida is on display through mid-January. FLORIDA MINING GALLERY 5300 Shad Rd., Southside, 535-7252, floridamininggallery. com. Joe Segal – Permutations is currently on display. J. JOHNSON GALLERY 177 Fourth Ave. N., Jax Beach, 435-3200, jjohnsongallery. com. Christina Hope’s underwater photography, Water Angels, is on display through Jan. 21.
EVENTS
5K RUN Before the festivities begin, there’s the VyStar 5K run at 3 p.m. and the 1-Mile Fun Run at 4 p.m. Dec. 31 at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown. Entry is $20 for the Fun Run; $35 for the 5K until Dec. 30, $40 day of race; 1stplacesports.com. CHRISTMAS DISPLAY The annual holiday window display – replete with Santas, Nutcrackers of all shapes and sizes, and holiday figures – is a must-see at Hooshang Oriental Rug Gallery, 3571 St. Johns Ave., The Shoppes of Avondale, 384-7111, through Jan. 1. CHRIS BOHJALIAN Bestselling author Bohjalian discusses and signs copies of his new novel, “The Guest Room,” 7 p.m. Jan. 6 at The BookMark, 220 First St., Neptune Beach, 241-9026, bookmarkbeach.com.
Celebrate the new year with dinner, dancing, party favors, midnight toast, and the comedy stylings of Tom McTiernan at 8 p.m. on Thursday, Dec. 31, at Comedy Club of Jacksonville on the Southside.
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A+E // MUSIC
BIRDS OF A FEATHER
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here’s been a hankerin’ for Country & Western music lately. I’m not sure it can be validated in record sales; however, concert (especially festival) lineups have been liberally peppered with some form or another of Americana-minded C&W bands. Without doing a dissertation on it, I’d bet a fistful of Kris Kristofferson hand-signed 8x10s that there’s something Tampa’s THE HUMMINGBIRDS fly high with a about the nostalgia and contemporary take on honky tonk narration of vintage C&W that draws musicians in. Old-school C&W has is where we really fell hard for the raw, real working-man-culture and tradition behind it, sound of classic country. and the storytelling is usually darned good as well. However, the danger, as always, is how How (other than the sweltering heat) has genuine it comes across when replicated. Can moving to Florida affected your music? it be presented well enough to make me believe Moving to the South has definitely put some the 20-something kid with a three-foot beard swamp into our sound. It’s hot and sultry singing about some events that happened on down here and there are things like gators, the Delta or in the Hills or Homestead? It takes big snakes, and bugs like you’ve never seen. a lot of conviction to be a steward of this truly Our song, “Listen to the River,” was heavily American music in the way Johnny Cash was, influenced by our new environment. and that makes it a tricky undertaking. Enter Tampa’s (by way of Detroit) The With two voices and tight harmonies, you Hummingbirds. The husband/wife duo (already really have a lot of options to fill your music quite C&W) of S.G. and Rachel Wood earned with your vocals. I hear everything from their degrees in C&W studies with their George Jones and Tammy Wynette to the Civil 2015 release, 13 Days. The spirit of the tunes Wars to Conway Twitty and Loretta Lynn. falls right in line with the traditional C&W Did you start out looking for that sound playbook: Shitty weather, various animals specifically, or did it just work out that way? (horses, dogs, rattlesnakes), and, of course, We travel and perform primarily as a duo, as well love gone very wrong. The Hummingbirds as co-write the majority of our stuff. Sharing the don’t earn their stripes by acknowledging the vocals and the storytelling in our songs seemed canon of C&W song themes, they do it with like a natural presentation of our sound. the music they play. The harmonies are great (“Forever’s Not a Lifetime”), the melodies sound like they came out of a garage in the As a duo on and off stage, do you write songs ’50s (“Waste My Time”) and together in bed, or work on the honky-tonk sounds like harmonies while doing the THE HUMMINGBIRDS, a real place (“Richer With KATIE GRACE HELOW, JESSE dishes? Nothing”) where they’ve Ha! We actually do a lot of MONTOYA, MERE WOODARD logged some heavy time. singing around the house and 8 p.m. Jan. 2, Jack Rabbits, San Marco, $8 advance; 13 Days is an album full of while driving on the road. $10 day of, jaxlive.com expressive harmonies, solid Our song, “Borrow Me,” musicianship, and some damn was actually written while good riffs. I believe every word these two sing. Rachel was in the shower and I was on the bed, fiddling around on the banjo. She’d start singing Recently the band took time out of their some lines and we’d holler back and forth, busy days to shoot emails back and forth with working out the arrangement. We also do a lot Folio Weekly Magazine. of singing to our cats, so there’s that, too. Folio Weekly: 13 Days is full of rockabilly There are some real “done-me-wrong” guitar, country & Western themes, and numbers on this album, like the title track. Americana backbone. Being from Detroit, Do you have to be careful, as a couple, that where did you find your influences to play both of you know you aren’t writing about this style of music? each other? Do those conversations ever come The Hummingbirds: When we first got up? Is it tough to be in a relationship and in a together, about 10 years ago, we frequented band at the same time? an old freight house in Ypsilanti, Michigan. We’re real fortunate to have a strong relationship There was a small café inside where musicians and songwriting partnership. We both believe gathered to play the good ol’ country classics. that songwriters have a job to tell a story, inspire, The players were mostly retired car factory and connect with others. All relationships have workers who had come up to Michigan from their ups and downs, but I would say we’ve had Kentucky and Tennessee to find work in the a lot more ups. A big part of that comes from auto industry. And let me tell you, these folks getting to spend so much time together. For me, knew country music and they played it right being in The Hummingbirds is like hitting the simple and twangy: from Merle Haggard to jackpot — I get to do what I love and be with the Ernest Tubb, and everywhere in between. one I love while I’m doing it — how many folks They probably wondered who these young can say that? punks were, coming to listen every weekend Danny Kelly at the freight house, but we made fast friends mail@folioweekly.com through our mutual love of the music and this DECEMBER 30, 2015-JANUARY 5, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35
Jam band scene faves THE HEAVY PETS (pictured) perform with THE FRITZ and LUCKY COSTELLO at 1904 Music Hall on Dec. 31, Downtown.
LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK SPADE McQUADE 6 p.m. Dec. 30 at Fionn MacCool’s Irish Pub, Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 176, Downtown, 374-1247. DENNY BLUE 6 p.m. Dec. 30 at Paula’s Beachside Grill, 6896 A1A S., St. Augustine, 471-3463. RYAN CRARY 6 p.m. Dec. 30 at Pusser’s Bar & Grille, 816 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach, 280-7766. DONNA THE BUFFALO 8 p.m. Dec. 30 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., 209-0399, $22 (SRO). THE BASTARD SUNS, BIGFOOT BAREFOOT 8 p.m. Dec. 30 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $8 advance; $10 day of. CASON & FRIENDS 6 p.m. Dec. 31 at Sliders Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., Fernandina Beach, 277-6652. JOHN SPRINGER 6:30 p.m. Dec. 31 at Alley Cat Seafood, Beer House & Wine Boutique, 316 Centre St., Fernandina Beach, 491-1001. MELISSA SMITH 7:30 p.m. Dec. 31 at Whiskey Jax, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Southside, 634-7208. THE HEAVY PETS (Beatles Tribute), THE FRITZ, LUCKY COSTELLO 8 p.m. Dec. 31 at 1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St., Downtown, $20 advance; $25 day of. ASTRONAUTILUS, BLUEBIRD, DENVER HALL, FAZE WAVE 8 p.m. Dec. 31, Jack Rabbits, $15 advance; $20 day of. GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE, BRYCE ALASTAIR BAND, DIRTY PETE 8 p.m. Dec. 31 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 246-2473, $10 advance; $15 day of. THE GOOTCH 10 p.m. Dec. 31 at Flying Iguana, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680. SOJA, COLLIE BUDDZ 7 p.m. Jan. 1 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $29.50-$35. MARCUS KANE 8 p.m. Jan. 1, Jack Rabbits, $8 advance; $10 day of.
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MANNA ZEN, NEAR EMPTY, EMMA MOSELEY BAND, A NEW DECREE, DARK SUMMER 8 p.m. Jan. 1, Freebird Live, $8 advance; $10 day of. EVAN MICHAEL BAND 10 p.m. Jan 1 & 2, Flying Iguana. OZONE BABY 10 p.m. Jan. 1 & 2 at The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 264-0611. BREAKING THROUGH, GENERATOR, MINDSLIP, FOREVER OUR RIVALS, GHOSTWITCH 7 p.m. Jan. 2, Freebird Live, $8 advance; $10 day of. LARRY MANGUM, LUCKY MUD 7:30 p.m. Jan. 2 at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., San Marco, 352-7008, $10. THE HUMMINGBIRDS, KATIE GRACE HELOW, JESSE MONTOYA, MERE WOODARD 8 p.m. Jan. 2, Jack Rabbits, $8 advance; $10 day of. VACANT RESIDENT, EASTDEAR PARK, SILENT ON FIFTH STREET, AXIOM 6 p.m. Jan. 5, Jack Rabbits, $10 advance; $13 day of. SONGWRITER SHOWCASE 7:30 p.m. Jan. 5, Mudville Music Room, $10. BROADENING THE DAYLIGHT, SEARCHING SERENITY, NEVERENDER, JANE EYRE, TRAVERSE 7 p.m. Jan. 6, Jack Rabbits, $8 advance; $10 day of.
UPCOMING CONCERTS
JOHN SEBASTIAN Jan. 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall FRED EAGLESMITH Jan. 8, The Original Café Eleven FULL OF HELL Jan. 8, Burro Bar PRIMITIVE HARD DRIVE, INNER DEMONS, LOWERCASE G, OUTEREDGE Jan. 8, Freebird Live STEVE FORBERT TRIO Jan. 9, Mudville Music Room MDFL, APOCALYPTIC NOISE SYNDICATE, CUTE & CUDDLY KITTENS Jan. 9, Shantytown Pub
NATE HOLLEY, CHARLIE WALKER Jan. 9, Freebird Live SILVERSUN PICKUPS, THE DOG APOLLO Jan. 10, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall The OLATE DOGS Jan. 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE ISLAND OF MISFIT TOYS, RATBOYS, BOYSIN, X88B88 Jan. 11, Burro Bar MOTHERS, THE LITTLE BOOKS Jan. 13, 1904 Music Hall YO YO MA Jan. 14, Amelia Island Chamber Music Festival OBNOX, X__X, THE MOLD, NOTEL Jan. 14, rain dogs. TROMBONE SHORTY & ORLEANS AVENUE, NEW BREED BRASS BAND Jan. 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall KARL DENSON’S TINY UNIVERSE Jan. 15, Freebird Live Winter Jam: FOR KING & COUNTRY, MATTHEW WEST, CROWDER, LAUREN DAIGLE, RED, NEWSONG, SIDEWALK PROPHETS, TEDASHIL, KB, STARS GO DIM, TONY NOLAN, WE ARE MESSENGERS Jan. 15, Veterans Memorial Arena KELLEY HUNT Jan. 15, The Original Café Eleven WINTER WAVE Jan. 16, Burro Bar PINK FLOYD LASER SPECTACULAR SHOW Jan. 20, The Florida Theatre STEVE POLTZ, GRANT-LEE PHILLIPS Jan. 20, The Original Café Eleven GALACTIC, THE RECORD COMPANY Jan. 20, Freebird Live THE TEMPTATIONS, THE FOUR TOPS Jan. 21, Florida Theatre GONZALO BEGARA QUARTET Jan 21, Original Café Eleven THE COLLEEN & JOSH SHOW Jan. 21, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SHANNON & the CLAMS, GOLDEN PELICANS, THE MOLD Jan. 22, Burro Bar THE LONELY HEARTSTRING BAND Jan. 22, The Original Café Eleven JESCO WHITE, SNAKE BLOOD REMEDY, GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE Jan. 23, Jack Rabbits CREEDENCE CLEARWATER REVISITED Jan. 23, ThrasherHorne Center GRAHAM NASH Jan. 27, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall DESTROYER OF LIGHT, LA-A, BROTHERR Jan. 27, Burro Bar ANA POPOVIC Jan. 28, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PATTI LaBELLE Jan. 28, T-U Center for the Performing Arts SOUTHSIDE JOHNNY & THE ASBURY JUKES Jan. 28, The Florida Theatre CHERYL WHEELER Jan. 29, The Original Café Eleven CARRIE UNDERWOOD Jan. 30, Veterans Memorial Arena GAELIC STORM Jan. 30, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PAPADASIO Jan. 30, Mavericks Live JOHNNY MATHIS Jan. 31, The Florida Theatre COLIN HAY, HEATHER MALONEY Jan. 31, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall 2CELLOS Feb. 2, The Florida Theatre MOON TAXI Feb. 2, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall YANNI Feb. 3, Times-Union Center Southern Soul Assembly: JJ GREY, ANDERS OSBORNE, MARC BROUSSARD, LUTHER DICKINSON Feb. 4, The Florida Theatre UNDER THE STREETLAMP Feb. 5 & 6, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall YONDER MOUNTAIN STRING BAND, TROUT STEAK REVIVAL Feb. 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ALAN PARSONS PROJECT Greatest Hits Tour, Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra Feb. 10, Florida Theatre
LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC ROBERT RANDOLPH & the FAMILY BAND Feb. 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BLACKBERRY SMOKE Feb. 12, The Florida Theatre MARTY STUART & the FABULOUS SUPERLATIVES Feb. 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PATTY GRIFFIN, SARA WATKINS, ANAIS MITCHELL Feb. 13, The Florida Theatre The JAMES HUNTER SIX Feb. 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall DAVE MASON’S TRAFFIC JAM Feb. 14, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SURVIVORMAN LES STROUD Feb. 14, The Florida Theatre MELISSA ETHERIDGE Feb. 17, Thrasher-Horne Center DON WILLIAMS Feb. 17, The Florida Theatre ST. PAUL & THE BROKEN BONES Feb. 19, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PROTOMARTYR, SPRAY PAINT, UVTV Feb. 19, St. Augustine Amphitheatre FOREIGNER Feb. 20, The Florida Theatre SUN RA ARKESTRA Feb. 20, The Ritz Theatre ADAM TRENT Feb. 21, The Florida Theatre GARY CLARK JR. Feb. 21, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CHARLES BRADLEY & HIS EXTRAORDINAIRES Feb. 24, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall VINCE GILL, LYLE LOVETT Feb. 25, The Florida Theatre Experience Hendrix: BILLY COX, BUDDY GUY, ZAKK WYLDE, KENNY WAYNE SHEPHERD, JONNY LANG, DWEEZIL ZAPPA, KEB MO, ERIC JOHNSON, CHRIS LAYTON, MATO NANJI, NOAH HUNT, HENRI BROWN Feb. 26, The Florida Theatre RICHARD MARX Feb. 27, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ALABAMA Feb. 28, St. Augustine Amphitheatre The ZOMBIES March 3, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SOUTHERN CULTURE ON THE SKIDS March 3, Colonial Quarter IL VOLO March 3, The Florida Theatre BLACK VIOLIN March 3, The Ritz Theatre ROGER McGUINN March 4, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall STEVE MILLER BAND March 4, St. Augustine Amphitheatre HERB ALPERT & LANI HALL March 4, The Florida Theatre JASON ISBELL, SHOVELS & ROPE March 5, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JANET JACKSON March 8, Veterans Memorial Arena GEORGE WINSTON March 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MERLE HAGGARD March 11, The Florida Theatre MOODY BLUES March 11, St. Augustine Amphitheatre RIHANNA March 12, Veterans Memorial Arena BLUE MAN GROUP March 12 & 13, Times-Union Center GORDON LIGHTFOOT March 16, The Florida Theatre THE REVEREND PEYTON’S BIG DAMN BAND March 16, The Original Café Eleven Suwannee Springfest: JOHN PRINE, DEL McCOURY, JIM LAUDERDALE, DONNA THE BUFFALO March 17-20, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park GET THE LED OUT March 17, The Florida Theatre Festival of Laughs: MIKE EPPS, SOMMORE, EARTHQUAKE, GARY OWEN March 18, Vets Memorial Arena JOHNNY CLEGG & HIS BAND March 18, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall JOE SATRIANI March 19, The Florida Theatre THE FAB FOUR: THE ULTIMATE TRIBUTE March 19, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ALAN DOYLE & BAND March 20, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall GAITHER VOCAL BAND March 20, Times-Union Center CHICAGO, EARTH, WIND & FIRE March 23, Veterans Memorial Arena SETH GLIER March 24, The Original Café Eleven DURAN DURAN March 30, St. Augustine Amphitheatre CECILE McLORIN SALVANT March 31, The Ritz Theatre BARRAGE 8 April 17, The Florida Theatre LET IT BE: CELEBRATION OF THE BEATLES April 10, The Florida Theatre AMY HELM April 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall Wanee Music Festival: WIDESPREAD PANIC, GREGG ALLMAN, GOV’T MULE, LES BRERS, UMPHREY’S MCGEE, BRUCE HORNSBY, STANLEY CLARKE April 14, 15 & 16 RITA WILSON April 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall The BRONX WANDERERS April 16, The Florida Theatre One Night of Queen: GARY MULLEN & the WORKS April 20, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall A NIGHT with JANIS JOPLIN April 21, The Florida Theatre Welcome to Rockville: ROB ZOMBIE, ZZ TOP, FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH, A DAY to REMEMBER, MEGADETH, LAMB of GOD, CYPRESS HILL, SEVENDUST, GHOST, ANTHRAX, CLUTCH, YELAWOLF, P.O.D., WE CAME as ROMANS, MEMPHIS MAY FIRE, ISSUES, CROWN the EMPIRE, SICK PUPPIES, BEARTOOTH, TEXAS HIPPIE COALITION, AVATAR, FROM ASHES to NEW, The GLORIOUS SONS, WILD THRONE, DISTURBED, SHINEDOWN, 3 DOORS DOWN, BRING ME the HORIZON, SIXX:A.M., COLLECTIVE SOUL, PENNYWISE, POP EVIL, BULLET for MY VALENTINE, HELLYEAH, ASKING ALEXANDRIA, CANDLEBOX, FILTER, ESCAPE the FATE, PARKWAY DRIVE, ENTER SHIKARI, MISS MAY I, WILSON, RED SUN RISING, LACEY STURM, MONSTER TRUCK, CANE HILL April 30 & May 1, Metropolitan Park THE 1975, THE JAPANESE HOUSE May 10, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ELLIS PAUL May 13, The Original Café Eleven SALT-N-PEPA, KID ’N PLAY, ROB BASE, COOLIO, TONE LOC, COLOR ME BADD May 21, St. Augustine Amphitheatre HERE COME the MUMMIES, NOAH GUTHRIE May 26, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall JUSTIN BIEBER June 29, Veterans Memorial Arena TWENTY ONE PILOTS July 3, St. Augustine Amphitheatre 5 SECONDS OF SUMMER July 20, Veterans Memorial Arena
Longtime Northeast Florida folk scene veteran LARRY MANGUM (pictured) performs with LUCKY MUD at Mudville Music Room on Jan. 2 in San Marco.
LIVE MUSIC CLUBS AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA
ALLEY CAT SEAFOOD & BEER HOUSE, 316 Centre St., 491-1001 Dan Voll Dec. 30. John Springer 6:30 p.m. Dec. 31 GREEN TURTLE TAVERN, 14 S. Third St., 321-2324 Buck Smith Thur. Yancy Clegg Sun. Vinyl Record Nite every Tue. SLIDERS, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652 Cason & Friends 6 p.m. Dec. 31 SURF RESTAURANT, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Yancy Clegg every Tue. & Thur. Black Jack Band every Fri.
AVONDALE, ORTEGA
CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free 9 p.m. Tue. & Thur. Indie dance 9 p.m. every Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance every Fri. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns, 388-0200 Live music every weekend
THE BEACHES
(All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted)
BRASS ANCHOR PUB, 2292 Mayport Rd., Ste. 35, Atlantic Beach, 249-0301 Joe Oliff 8 p.m. Dec. 31
DECEMBER 30, 2015-JANUARY 5, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37
LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CULHANE’S, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 Kissass Karaoke every Fri. DJ Hal every Sat. Irish music Sun. FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680 The Gootch 10 p.m. Dec. 31. Evan Michael & the Well Wishers 10 p.m. Jan. 1 & 2. Darren Corlew Jan. 3 FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 Grandpa’s Cough Medicine, Bryce Alastair & the Booze-N-Blues, Dirty Pete 8 p.m. Dec. 31. Manna Zen, Near Empty, Emma Moseley Band, A New Decree, Dark Summer Jan. 1. Breaking Through, Generator, Mindslip, Ghostwitch, Forever Our Rivals Jan. 2. Primitive Hard Drive, Inner Demons, Lowercase G, Outeredge Jan. 8. Nate Holley, Charlie Walker Jan. 9 HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815 Live music every Fri. & Sat. Dan Evans, Spade McQuade every Sun. Back From the Brink every Mon. LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Live music Dec. 31. Tyler Denning Band Jan. 1. Love the Sin Jan. 2. Live music every night MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 Third St. N., 241-5600 Jazz Night Dec. 30. NW Izzard Dec. 31. Live music weekends MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573 Gypsies Ginger every Wed. Mike Shackelford & Steve Shanholtzer every Thur. MONKEY’S UNCLE, 1850 S. Third St., 246-1070 DJ Austin Williams Dec. 31, Jan. 2 & 3 NIPPERS BEACH GRILLE, 2309 Beach Blvd., 247-3300 Live music most weekends RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877 Jimmy Parrish Dec. 30. Bay Street Dec. 31. Paul Lundgren Band Jan. 1 & 2. Live music every weekend SLIDERS SEAFOOD GRILLE, 218 First St., NB, 246-0881 Jimmi Mitchell Jan. 2. Live music most weekends WIPEOUTS GRILL, 1589 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 247-4508 Live music 7 p.m. Dec. 31, 9:30 p.m. Jan. 1
DOWNTOWN
1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N. The Heavy Pets, The Fritz, Lucky Costello 8 p.m. Dec. 31. Mothers, The Little Books Jan. 13 BURRO BAR, 100 E. Adams St. Full of Hell Jan. 8. Live music most weekends DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 BlackJack every Wed. DJ Brandon every Thur. DJs spin dance music every Fri. DJ NickFresh every Sat. DJ Randall 9 p.m. every Mon. DJ Hollywood every Tue. FIONN MacCOOL’S, The Landing, 374-1247 Spade McQuade 6 p.m. Dec. 30, Jan. 6. Captain Obvious 9 p.m.-2 a.m. Dec. 31. Austin Park 9 p.m. Jan. 1. Ace Winn 8 p.m.-mid. Jan. 2
JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 New Year’s Eve Celebration: 7th Street Band 4 p.m., Briteside 9 p.m., Fireworks midnight Dec. 31. Bread & Butter 5-9 p.m., Cupid’s Alley 10 p.m.-2 a.m. Jan. 1. The Gootch 4-8 p.m., Holliday Fingers 9 p.m.-2 a.m. Jan. 2. Red Beard & Stinky E 6-10 p.m. Jan. 6 MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Dr. Doom 10 p.m.-2 a.m. every Fri. DJ Shotgun 10 p.m.-2 a.m. every Sat. MAVERICKS LIVE, Jax Landing, 356-1110 Joe Buck, DJ Justin every Thur.-Sat.
FLEMING ISLAND
WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Robert Brown Jr. & the Confluent 9 p.m. Jan. 2. Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. DJ Throwback every Thur. Deck music every Fri., Sat. & Sun.
INTRACOASTAL WEST
CLIFF’S BAR & GRILL, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 The Remains 9 p.m. Dec. 31. Live music most weekends JERRY’S Sports Grille, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766 Midlife Crisis 7:30 p.m. Jan. 2
MANDARIN, JULINGTON
DAVE’S MUSIC BAR & GRILL, 9965 San Jose, 575-4935 Johnny King Jan. 2 HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., 880-3040 Live music most weekends. Open jam 7 p.m. Mon.
ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG
CLUB RETRO, 1241 Blanding Blvd., 579-4731 ’70s & ’80s dance 8 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. DJ Capone every Wed. THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael Tue.-Sat. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Cupid’s Alley Dec. 30. Ozone Baby 10 p.m. Jan. 1 & 2. Live music 10 p.m. every Wed. DJ Big Mike every Thur.
PONTE VEDRA
PUSSER’S Grill, 816 A1A, 280-7766 Ryan Crary Dec. 30 & Jan. 6. Billy Buchanan Dec. 31. Live music 9 p.m.-1 a.m. Dec. 31 TABLE 1, 330 A1A, 280-5515 Barrett Jockers 6 p.m. Dec. 30. Latin All Stars Jan. 2. Deron Baker Jan. 6. Gary Starling Jan. 7
RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE
ACROSS THE STREET, 948 Edgewood Ave. S., 683-4182 Live music most weekends MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood S., 388-7807 Wrekless Abandon CD release 7:30 p.m. Jan. 2. New Years Throwdown 4: Neverender, Drowning Above Water, Searching
THAT’S PREDICULOUS AS 2015 DRAWS TO A CLOSE, I FIND MYSELF a little nostalgic for the past year and hopeful for aught16. Even as the world spirals into chaos, and we face an election cycle tantamount to backyard wrestling, I can see light. It’s a dim light, no bigger than the tip of a pin way off in the distance, but a light nonetheless. I mean, there’s a greater chance that Ozzy Osbourne will attend your next birthday party than your being killed by a terrorist. So there’s that. And most of us, though times can be tough, are doing pretty damn well, and have much to be thankful for and look forward to in the coming annum. It is in this spirit that I present my predictions for 2016. (My record as a sayer of sooth is nearly flawless, and you can trust that much of this list will come true in the within the next 365 days, give or take a few.)
AS FREEBIRD LIVE CLOSES ITS DOORS, THE community will recognize the gaping hole left in the beaches original music scene and will mount a massive online crowdsourcing “Save the Bird” campaign, in hopes of buying out the current investors and breathing new life into the venue. Perks for donors will include a personalized Confederate flag emblazoned with the Lynyrd Skynyrd logo and the “stars” in the star-andbars replaced with your Photoshopped likeness ($100 level); five minutes in a locked room with a bound-and-gagged Jax Beach surfer and your choice of various-weight truncheons while “Gimme Three Steps” plays on constant loop ($500 level); lunch with Ronnie Van Zant’s hat ($1,000 level). HAVING UPSET THE FREESTYLE HANDDRUMMING community to such a degree with my column last fall, in which I listed a number of reasons why drum circles suck, I will be 38 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 30, 2015-JANUARY 5, 2016
embraced by said community when it comes to terms with its loosey-goosey gatherings and commits to structured, wellrehearsed performances. A NORTHEAST FLORIDA ENTREPRENEUR WILL invent a local music app that notifies you when your favorite local band has broken up. Attendant to the notification will be a series of texts about why the band had to call it quits. A random sample of these messages might read: “You never attended their shows, even though your cousin is the bass player;” “Mitch’s mom won’t let us rehearse in her garage anymore, but we’ll let you know if that changes;” “The drummer quit to immerse himself into craft brewing;” and “Dave’s a dick.”
Serenity, The Winter, Landfill, Beware the Neverending, Jane Eyre, Chris Weimer, Eli the Poet 4 p.m. Jan. 3
ST. AUGUSTINE
CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 TJ Brown 2 p.m. Dec. 30. Gary Douglas Campbell 2 p.m., Oh No 7 p.m. Jan. 2. Vinny Jacobs 2 p.m. Jan. 3 MILL TOP TAVERN, 19 St. George St., 829-2329 Denny Blue Jan. 1. Live music every night THE ORIGINAL CAFÉ ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311 Fred Eaglesmith 8 p.m. Jan. 8 PAULA’S GRILL, 6896 A1A S., Crescent Beach, 471-3463 Denny Blue open mic jam 6-9 p.m. Dec. 30 TRADEWINDS, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Live music 9 p.m. Jan. 1 & 2. Elizabeth Roth every Sat. Keith Godwin & the Rio Grande Band every Sun.
SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK
JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 The Bastard Suns, Bigfoot Barefoot 8 p.m. Dec. 30. Astronautilus, Bluebird, Denver Hall, Faze Wave 8 p.m. Dec. 31. Marcus Kane Jan. 1. The Hummingbirds, Katie Grace Helow, Jesse Montoya, Mere Woodard Jan. 2. Vacant Resident, Eastdear Park, Silent On Fifth Street, Axiom Jan. 5. Broadening The Daylight, Searching Serenity, Neverender, Jane Eyre, Traverse Jan. 6 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Larry Mangum, Lucky Mud 7:30 p.m. Jan. 2. Songwriter Showcase Jan. 5. Steve Forbert Trio Jan. 9
SOUTHSIDE, BAYMEADOWS, ARLINGTON
Overs
LATITUDE 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 DJ Fellin Dec. 30, Jan. 1 & 2. DJ Dohan Dec. 31 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999 Barrett Jockers Jan. 1. Ryan Crary Jan. 2. Live music most weekends WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows, 634-7208 Jordyn Stoddard Dec. 30. Melissa Smith Dec. 31. Country Jam every Wed. Melissa Smith every Thur. Mojo Roux Blues every Sun.
SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE
SHANTYTOWN PUB, 22 W. Sixth St., 798-8222 Once a Week 4 p.m. Jan. 1. Live music most weekends THREE LAYERS COFFEEHOUSE, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 Live music most weekends
THE KNIFE
THE KNIFE
SHAD KAHN BACKPEDALS ON HIS STADIUM revamp proposal and instead sinks huge money into the local music community, sprucing up the sound systems at local live music clubs, starting an original-music grant program for hardworking bands, and bringing in nationally known songwriters and composers for lucrative residencies at our esteemed universities and high schools. He also demands that music education be put at the top of the school board’s list of improvements for the 2016-’17 school year. He also shaves off his moustache. (Yep, this prediction is that ridiculous.)
I GET A RAISE ... AND SHAD KAHN SHAVES OFF his moustache. (Ahem ...) THE CURRENT VINYL-AND-CASSETTE movement takes it to the next level with a fervent pledge not to listen to any music – ever again – unless it’s released on wax cylinders and played on authentic gramophones. Hipsters nationwide will drive a movement that pushes the price of vintage equipment beyond affordability, and they will be forced to get jobs and stuff to pay for it all. SHAD KAHN ... OH, NEVER MIND. John E. Citrone theknife@folioweekly.com
Homestyle cuisine is served with an oceanfront vista at Amelia Island’s award-winning B&B, Elizabeth Pointe Lodge. Photo by Dennis Ho
DINING DIRECTORY AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH
29 SOUTH EATS, 29 S. Third St., 277-7919, 29southrest aurant.com. F Chef Scotty Schwartz’s traditional regional cuisine has modern twist. $$ L Tue.-Sat.; D Mon.-Sat.; R Sun. BARBERITOS, 1519 Sadler Rd., 277-2505. 463867 S.R. 200, Ste. 5, Yulee, 321-2240, barberitos.com. F Southwestern fare; burritos, tacos, quesadillas, salsa. $$ BW K TO L D Daily BEACH DINER, 2006 S. Eighth St., 310-3750, beachdiner. com. Innovative breakfast: Eggs on the Bayou, fish-n-grits; French toast, riders, omelets. Lunch fare: salads, burgers, sandwiches, shrimp & crabmeat salad. $$ BW K TO L D Daily BEECH STREET Bar & Grill, 801 Beech St., 572-1390, beech streetbarandgrill.com. In a restored 1889 home, Chef Charles creates with fresh, local ingredients. Local seafood, handcut Florida steaks, housemade pasta, daily specials, small plates, street food. $$$-$$$$ FB D Tue.-Sat.; Brunch, D Sun. BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F Southern hospitality, upscale waterfront spot; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB K L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo.com. F Family-owned; historic building. Veggie burgers, seafood, made-from-scratch desserts. Dine in or on oak-shaded patio. Karibrew Pub next door. $$ FB K TO R, Sun.; L D Daily CHEZ LEZAN BAKERY CO., 1014 Atlantic Ave., 491-4663, chezlezanbakery.com. Fresh European-style breads, pastries: croissants, muffins, cakes, pies. $ TO B R L Daily DAVID’S Restaurant & Lounge, 802 Ash St., 310-6049, ameliaislanddavids.com. Fine dining, historic district. Fresh seafood, prime aged meats, rack of lamb. $$$$ FB D Wed.-Mon. DICK’S Wings & Grill, 474313 E. S.R. 200, 491-3469. 450077 S.R. 200, Callahan, 879-0993. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE O. PARK. ELIZABETH POINTE Lodge, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabethpointelodge.com. F Award-winning B&B. Seaside dining, inside or out. Hot buffet breakfast daily. Homestyle soups, sandwiches, desserts. $$$ BW B L D Daily JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddianes cafe.com. F 1887 shotgun house. Jambalaya, French toast, mac-n-cheese, vegan/vegetarian. Porch. $$ FB K B L D Daily LULU’S at Thompson House, 11 S. 7th St., 432-8394, lulusamelia.com. F Po’boys, salads, local seafood, local shrimp. Reservations. $$$ BW K TO R Sun.; L D Tue.-Sat. MOON RIVER Pizza, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moonriver pizza.net. F 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic Northern-style pizzas, 20+ toppings, pie or the slice. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE MUSTARD SEED CAFÉ, 833 TJ Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Casual organic eatery, juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juice, herbal tea. $$ TO B L Mon.-Sat. PABLO’S Mexican Restaurant Grill & Cantina, 12 N. Second St., 261-0049. Chicken, carnes, fajitas, burritos, tacos, daily specials. Margaritas. $$$ FB K TO L D Daily
THE PECAN ROLL BAKERY, 122 S. Eighth St., 491-9815, thepecanrollbakery.com. F Near historic district. Sweet and savory pastries, cookies, cakes, bagels, breads, made from scratch. $ K TO B L Wed.-Sun. PI INFINITE COMBINATIONS, 19 S. Third St., 432-8535, pi32034.wix.com/piinfinite. All bar service; NYC-style. Specialty pizzas, pie/slice, toppings: truffle mushrooms, little neck clams, eggs, shrimp. Courtyard. $$ BW TO L D Wed.-Sun. PLAE, 80 Amelia Village Cir., 277-2132, plaefl.net. Bite Club. Bistro-style venue serves whole fried fish, duck breast. Outside. $$$ FB L Tue.-Sat.; D Nightly SALTY PELICAN Bar & Grill, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F BOJ winner. Second-story outdoor bar. Owners T.J. and Al offer local seafood, Mayport shrimp, fish tacos, po’boys, cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F Oceanfront. Crabcakes, fresh seafood, fried pickles. Open-air 2nd floor, balcony. $$ FB K L D Daily T-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. Eighth St., 261-6310. F 2015 BOJ winner. In an old gas station; blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L Mon.-Sat.
ARLINGTON, REGENCY
DICK’S Wings & Grill, 9119 Merrill Rd., 745-9300. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. LARRY’S Subs, 1301 Monument Rd., 724-5802. F SEE O.PARK. The STEAKHOUSE @ Gold Club, 320 Gen. Doolittle Dr., 645-5500, jacksonvillegoldclub.com. Lunch and dinner specials, free happy hour buffets Thur. & Fri. $$$ FB L D Daily
AVONDALE, ORTEGA
FLORIDA CREAMERY, 3566 St. Johns Ave., 619-5386. Ice cream, waffle cones, milkshakes, sundaes, Nathan’s grilled hot dogs. Low-fat and sugar-free choices. $ K TO L D Daily HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, harpoonlouies.net. F Locally owned & operated 20+ years. American pub. 1/2-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta. Local beers. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MOJO NO. 4 Urban BBQ & Whiskey Bar, 3572 St. Johns
To get your restaurant listed here, just call your account manager or Sam Taylor at 904.260.9770 ext. 111 or staylor@folioweekly.com.
DINING DIRECTORY KEY
Average Entrée Cost $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer/Wine FB = Full Bar K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch L = Lunch D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted free FW Bite Club tasting. fwbiteclub.com. 2015 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot
Ave., 381-6670. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. PINEGROVE Market & Deli, 1511 PineGrove Ave., 389-8655, pinegrovemarket.com. F BOJ winner. 40+ years. Burgers, Cuban sandwiches, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher cuts USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. $ BW TO B L D Mon.-Sat. RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaurant orsay.com. 2015 BOJ winner. French/Southern bistro; locally grown organic ingredients. Steak frites, mussels, pork chops. Snail of Approval. $$$ FB K R, Sun.; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simply saras.net. F Down-home fare, from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Mon.-Sat., B Sat.
BAYMEADOWS
AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. INDIA’S Restaurant, 9802 Baymeadows, Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajax.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetable dishes, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L Mon.-Sat.; D Nightly LARRY’S Giant Subs, 3928 Baymeadows, 737-7740. 8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 9802 Baymeadows, 425-9142. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 11030 Baymeadows, 260-2791. SEE MANDARIN. PATTAYA THAI Grille, 9551 Baymeadows, Ste. 1, 646-9506, ptgrille.com. Family-owned Thai place serves traditional fare, vegetarian, new Thai; curries, seafood, noodles, soups. Lowsodium, gluten-free, too. $$$ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun. TEQUILA’S Mexican Restaurant, 10915 Baymeadows, Ste. 101, 363-1365, tequilasjacksonville.com. F Authentic fare, made daily with fresh ingredients. Vegetarian dishes; daily drink specials. Nonstop happy hour. $$ FB L D Daily The WELL Watering Hole, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9, 737-7740, thewellwateringhole.com. Local craft beers, wines by glass/bottle, champagne cocktails. Meatloaf sandwich, pulled Peruvian chicken, homestyle vegan black bean burgers. $$ BW K TO D Tue.-Sat. WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows, Ste. 135, 634-7208, whiskeyjax.com. New gastropub has craft beers, burgers, handhelds, tacos, whiskey. $$ FB L D Sat. & Sun.; D Daily.
BEACHES
(Locations are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)
AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0002, alspizza.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. New York-style, gourmet pizzas, baked dishes. All-day happy hour Mon.-Thur. $ FB K TO L D Daily ANGIE’S SUBS, 1436 Beach Blvd., 246-2519. ANGIE’S GROM, 204 Third Ave. S., 246-7823. F 2015 BOJ winner.
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DINING DIRECTORY Subs made with fresh ingredients for more than 25 years. One word: Peruvian. Huge salads, blue-ribbon iced tea. $ BW TO L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 2400 S. Third St., Ste. 201. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. ESPETO Brazilian Steakhouse, 1396 Beach Blvd., 3884884, espetosteakhouse.com. Just relocated, serving beef, pork, lamb, chicken, sausage; full menu, bar fare, craft cocktails, Brazilian beers. $$ FB D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. FLYING IGUANA Taqueria & Tequila Bar, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680 F 2015 BOJ winner. Latin American, tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana fare. 100+ tequilas. $ FB L D Daily LARRY’S Subs, 657 Third St. N., 247-9620. F SEE O.PARK. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 Third St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600, mellowmushroom.com. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. Hoagies, gourmet pizzas: Mighty Meaty, vegetarian, Kosmic Karma. 35 tap beers. Nonstop happy hour. $ FB K TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 1534 Third St. N., 853-6817. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573, mezzarestaurantandbar.com. F Near-the-ocean spot, 20+ years. Casual bistro fare: gourmet wood-fired pizzas, nightly specials. Dine in, or patio. $$$ FB K D Mon.-Sat. MOJO KITCHEN BBQ Pit, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636, mojobbq.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Pulled pork, beef, chicken, Carolina-style, Delta fried catfish, sides. $$ FB K TO L D Daily NIPPERS Beach Grille, 2309 Beach Blvd., 247-3300, nippers beachgrille.com. Chef-driven Southern coastal cuisine, dishes with Caribbean flavor. Island atmosphere on the ICW. Dine in or on Tiki deck. $$ FB K L D Wed.-Sun.; D Mon. & Tue. POE’S Tavern, 363 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7637. Gastropub, 50+ beers, gourmet burgers, hand-cut fries, fish tacos, Edgar’s Drunken Chili, daily fish sandwich special. $$ FB K L D Daily RAGTIME TAVERN & Seafood Grill, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F For 30+ years, iconic seafood place. Blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily happy hour. $$ FB L D Daily SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 1018 Third St. N., 372-4456, saltlifefoodshack.com. Specialties: signature tuna poke bowl, fresh sushi, Ensenada tacos, local fried shrimp, in modern open-air space. $$ FB K TO L D Daily SLIDERS Seafood Grille & Oyster Bar, 218 First St., NB, 246-0881, slidersseafoodgrille.com. Beach-casual spot. Faves: Fresh fish tacos, gumbo. Key lime pie, ice cream sandwiches. $$ FB K L Sat. & Sun.; D Nightly SNEAKERS Sports Grille, 111 Beach Blvd., 482-1000, sneakerssportsgrille.com. 2015 BOJ winner. 20+ tap beers, TVs. Happy hour Mon.-Fri. $ FB K L D Daily SURFING SOMBRERO, 222 First St. N., 834-9377. New oceanfront place serves authentic fare – like paella. Drink specials. Dine in or outside. $$ FB L D Daily SURFWICHES Sandwich Shop, 1537 Penman Rd., 241-6996, surfwiches.com. New craft sandwich shop has Yankee-style steaks and hoagies, all made to order. $ BW TO K L D Daily
MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MOJO SMOKEHOUSE, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteys fishcamp.com. F Real fish camp. Gator tail, freshwater catfish, daily specials, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar. Come by boat, bike or car. $ FB K TO L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly
INTRACOASTAL WEST
AL’S Pizza, 14286 Beach, Ste. 31, 223-0991. F ’15 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. DICK’S, 14286 Beach, 223-0115. F ’15 BOJ. SEE O.PARK. LARRY’S, 10750 Atlantic, Ste. 14, 642-6980. F SEE O.PARK. TIME OUT Sports Grill, 13799 Beach, Ste. 5, 223-6999, timeoutsportsgrill.com. F Locally-owned-and-operated. Hand-tossed pizzas, wings, wraps. Daily drink specials, HDTVs. Late-nite menu. $$ FB L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly
MANDARIN, NW ST. JOHNS
AKEL’S Deli, 12926 Granbay Pkwy. W., 880-2008. F SEE DOWNTOWN.
AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. ATHENS Café, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199. F Dolmades (stuffed grape leaves), baby shoes (stuffed eggplant). Greek beers. $$ BW L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. DICK’S Wings, 10391 Old St. Augustine Rd., 880-7087. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. FIRST COAST Deli & Grill, 6082 St. Augustine Rd., 733-7477. Diner: pancakes, bacon, sandwiches, burgers. $ K TO B L Daily LARRY’S Subs, 11365 San Jose, 674-2945. F SEE O.PARK. METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. F Organic soups, sandwiches, wraps, baked goods, prepared foods. Juice, smoothie and coffee bar. All-natural, organic beers, wines. Indoor, outdoor dining. $ BW TO K B L D Daily THE RED ELEPHANT Pizza & Grill, 10131 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 12, 683-3773, redelephantpizza.com. Casual, familyfriendly eatery. Pizzas, sandwiches, grill specials, burgers, pasta, plus gluten-free-friendly items. $ FB K L D Daily
ORANGE PARK
DICK’S Wings & Grill, 6055 Youngerman Cir., 778-1101, dickswingsandgrill.com. 1803 East West Pkwy., 375-2559. 2015 BOJ winner. NASCAR theme. 365 varieties of wings, half-pound burgers, ribs. $ FB K TO L D Daily THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959, hilltop-club.com. Southern-style fine dining. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. Extensive bourbon selection. $$$ FB D Tue.-Sat. LARRY’S Giant Subs, 1330 Blanding, 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding, Ste. 15, 272-3553. 5733 Roosevelt, 446-9500. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove,
GRILL ME!
KANISHA SINGLETON One Twenty Three Burger House 123 King St., St. Augustine BIRTHPLACE: St. Augustine YEARS IN THE BIZ: Less than 1 FAVE RESTAURANT (other than mine): Mikato’s Japanese Steakhouse FAVE CUISINE STYLE: Soul Food FAVE INGREDIENTS: Garlic, herbs, white pepper, Old Bay, pepper vinegar IDEAL MEAL: Macaroni & cheese, smothered sweet peas, mashed potatoes and steak. WON’T CROSS MY LIPS: Chitterlings INSIDER’S SECRET: I love food! CELEBRITY SIGHTING AT MY RESTAURANT: Elvis! CULINARY TREAT: Chocolate cake
DOWNTOWN
AKEL’S Deli, 21 W. Church St., 665-7324, akelsdeli.com. F New York-style deli has freshly made subs (3 Wise Guys, Champ), burgers, gyros, breakfast bowls, ranchero wrap, vegetarian items. $ K TO B L Mon.-Fri. THE CANDY APPLE Café & Cocktails, 400 N. Hogan St., 353-9717, thecandyapplecafe.com. Sandwiches, entrées, salads. $$ FB K L, Mon.; L D Tue.-Sun. CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth St., 356-8282. F Chef Sam Hamidi has served genuine Italian fare 35+ years: veal, seafood, gourmet pizza. Homemade salad dressing. $ BW K L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. OLIO Market, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com. F From-scratch soups, sandwiches. Duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L Mon.-Fri. SWEET PETE’S, 400 N. Hogan St., 376-7161. F All-natural sweet shop has candy made of all natural flavors, no artificial anything. Several kinds of honey. $ TO Daily ZODIAC Bar & Grill, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283, thezodiacbarandgrill.com. Mediterranean cuisine, American fare, paninis, vegetarian dishes. Daily lunch buffet. Espressos, hookahs. Happy hour Wed.-Sat. $ FB L Mon.-Fri.
FLEMING ISLAND
GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 1915 East-West Parkway, 541-0009. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE.
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284-7789, larryssubs.com. F All over the area, Larry’s piles ’em high, serves ’em fast; 33+ years. Hot & cold subs, soups, salads. Some Larry’s serve breakfast. $ K TO B L D Daily METRO DINER, 2034 Kingsley Ave., 375-8548. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. SNACSHACK, 179 College Dr., Ste. 19, 682-7622, snac shack.menu. F Bakery and café has bagels, muffins, breads, cookies, brownies, snack treats. $$ K BW TO B, L & D Daily
PONTE VEDRA BEACH
AL’S Pizza, 635 A1A, 543-1494. F ’15 BOJ. SEE BEACHES. DICK’S Wings, 100 Marketside Ave., 829-8134, dickswings andgrill.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. LARRY’S SUBS, 830 A1A N., 273-3993. F SEE ORANGE PARK.
RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE
13 GYPSIES, 887 Stockton St., 389-0330, 13gypsies.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic Mediterranean peasant cuisine updated for Americans; tapas, blackened octopus, risotto of the day, coconut mango curry chicken. $$ BW L D Tue.-Sat. AKEL’S Deli, 245 Riverside Ave., 791-3336. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S Pizza, 1620 Margaret, 388-8384. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. BLACK SHEEP Restaurant, 1534 Oak, 355-3793, blackshe ep5points.com. New American, Southern twist; locally sourced ingredients. Rooftop bar. $$$ FB R Sat. & Sun.; L D Daily BOLD BEAN Coffee Roasters, 869 Stockton St., Stes. 1 &
DINING DIRECTORY 2, 855-1181. F 2015 BOJ winner. Small-batch, artisanal coffee roasting. Organic, fair trade. $ BW TO B L Daily BREW FIVE POINTS, 1024 Park St., 714-3402, brewfive points.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Local craft beer, espresso, coffee, wine. Rotating drafts, 75+ can craft beers; sodas, tea. Rotating seasonal menu: waffles, pastries, toasts, desserts, specialty coffees, craft beers. $$ BW K B L Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412, cornertaco.com. Made-from-scratch “Mexclectic street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free, vegetarian options. $ BW L D Daily. DERBY ON PARK, 1068 Park St., 379-3343. New American cuisine, upscale retro atmosphere in historic landmark building. Shrimp & grits, lobster bites, 10-oz. gourmet burger. Dine inside or out. $$ FB TO Wknd brunch. B, L D Tue.-Sun. EDGEWOOD Bakery, 1012 S. Edgewood Ave., 389-8054, edgewoodbakery.com. 68+ years, full-service. From-scratch pastries, petit fours, pies, custom cakes. Espresso/pastry café: sandwiches, smoothies, soups. $$ K TO B L Tue.-Sat. EUROPEAN STREET Café, 2753 Park St., 384-9999. 2015 BOJ winner. 130+ import beers, 20 on tap. Sandwiches. Outside dining at some EStreets. $ BW K L D Daily GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. F BOJ winner. Juice bar; organic fruits, veggies. 300+ craft/imports, 50 wines, meats, deli, raw, vitamins. Wraps, sandwiches. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS ASIAN Street Fare, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic dishes from mobile stalls. $ BW TO L D Daily IL DESCO, 2665 Park St., 290-6711, ildescojax.com. Modern Italian cuisine served in the heart of Riverside. Handcrafted cocktails. $$-$$$ FB TO K L D Daily JOHNNY’S Deli & Grille, 474 Riverside Ave., 356-8055. F Casual; sandwiches, classic salads, homefries. $ TO B L Daily KNEAD Bakeshop, 1173 Edgewood Ave. S., 634-7617 Locally-owned, family-run; made-from-scratch pastries, artisan breads, pies, sandwiches. $ TO B L Tue.-Sun. LARRY’S Subs, 1509 Margaret St., 674-2794. 7895 Normandy Blvd., 781-7600. 8102 Blanding Blvd.,
779-1933. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., 999-4600. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MONROE’S Smokehouse BAR-B-Q, 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551, monroessmokehousebbq.com. Wings, pulled pork, brisket, turkey, chicken, ribs. Sides: beans, baked beans, mac-n-cheese, collards. $$ K TO L Mon.-Sat.; D Fri. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. MOSSFIRE GRILL, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434, mossfire. com. F Southwestern fish tacos, enchiladas. HH Mon.-Sat. upstairs lounge, all day Sun. $$ FB K L D Daily O’BROTHERS Irish Pub, 1521 Margaret, 854-9300, obroth ersirishpub.com. F Shepherd’s pie w/Stilton crust, Guinness mac-n-cheese, fish-n-chips. Patio. $$ FB K TO L D Daily PATTAYA Thai Grille, 1526 King, 503-4060. SEE BAYMEADOWS. rain dogs, 1045 Park, 379-4969. BOJ winner. Bar food. $ D SBRAGA & COMPANY, 220 Riverside Ave., Ste. 114, 746-0909, sbragadining.com. Chef Kevin Sbraga’s newest place offers a contemporary approach to local cultural influences. Go-to dishes: hog & hominy, fish fry, carrot ceviche. $$-$$$ FB TO L D Daily SOUTHERN ROOTS Filling Station, 1275 King St., 513-4726, southernrootsjax.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Healthy, light vegan fare; local, organic ingredients. Specials, on bread, local greens or rice, change daily. Coffees, teas. $ Tue.-Sun. SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside, Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushicafe jacksonville.com. F Monster, Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll. Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. $$ BW L D Daily
ST. AUGUSTINE
AL’S Pizza, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. CARMELO’S Marketplace & Pizzeria, 146 King St., 494-6658, carmelosmarketplace.com. New York-style brick-oven-baked pizza, fresh sub rolls, Boar’s Head meats & cheeses, garlic herb wings. Outdoor seating, Wi-Fi. $$ BW TO L D Daily
photo by Rebecca Gibson
BITE-SIZED
The food at this ppopular opular LOCAL BREWERY iiss actually actually qquite uite ggood ood
BAR FOOD
RAISING THE BITE SIZED
flavors of the chili and, again, that wonderful beer WITH MORE THAN SEVEN LOCAL BREWERIES, dip. All this is finished with onions, sour cream, Northeast Florida has plenty to offer in the way of and more cheese. Work your way through this excellent beer. ENGINE 15 adds a second level of nacho/chili combo with a Nut Sack Brown Ale to tastiness, offering food that’s good whether you balance out the rich, savory flavors. love beer or not. I also tried the Little Piggy Flatbread. The If the humidity of late December isn’t too crunchy bacon goes well with a rye beer to cut overwhelming, take a seat on the benches outside through the sweetness of the barbecue sauce the Jax Beach eatery/drinkery. Too misty? Step drizzled all over pulled pork and bacon. The jack inside for a seat at the bar, or snag one of the oldcheese and scallions give this flatbread a TexMex fashioned salon chairs. hint that I love. Engine 15 offers a nearly unbeatable lunch I was glad to see Engine 15 also offers deal. From 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. every Tuesday desserts (though it’s spelled deserts on the menu). through Friday, select entrées are $9 and include I ordered Snicker Dumplings a free draft beer, a deal that ($4), which is a must-have ensures you’ll have enough ENGINE 15 if only for the name alone. cash to order an app or two. 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217, As if Snickers aren’t temping Personally, I love the salty Jax Beach, 249-2337, enough, Engine 15 kicks things warmth of a soft pretzel, and engine15.com up a notch by deep-frying beer cheese dip only makes pieces of the candy bar and it better. Engine 15’s pretzel covering that in chocolate ($3.50) is from Cinotti’s Bakery sauce and powdered sugar. It’s a warm, gooey on Penman Road; all of Engine 15’s breads are puff that disappears much too quickly. Still can’t from this Jax Beach institution. The pretzel was figure out where it all went. Hang on a sec while I airy, fluffy, and hit the salty spot. You’ll want to change into my sweat pants. Aah, better! bottle up the beer dip, or, at the very least, order Engine 15 packs a double whammy with an entrée that’s smothered in the sauce. excellent drinks and eats, serving bar food that Cue Engine 15’s Frito Pie. raises the bar on flavor and fun. I’ve heard a whole legion of people rave about Rebecca Gibson the Frito Pie and so I was curious if my dislike of mail@folioweekly.com Fritos could be subdued by my love of pie. _______________________________________ Once again, love heals all wounds. The onceRead about more of Rebecca’s local dining detested chips, beneath generous mounds of adventures at somewhereinthecityjax.com. homemade chili and beer queso, absorb the zesty
DICK’S Wings & Grill, 965 S.R. 16, 825-4540. 4010 U.S. 1 S., 547-2669. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. THE FLORIDIAN, 39 Cordova St., 829-0655, thefloridian staug.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Updated Southern fare. Vegetarian, gluten-free. Fried green tomato bruschetta, grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D Wed.-Mon. GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F Local mainstay 25+ years. Varied menu changes twice daily. Signature dish: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. Sun. brunch. $$ FB R Sun.; L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. METRO DINER, 1000 S. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 758-3323. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO OLD CITY BBQ, 5 Cordova St., 342-5264. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. ONE TWENTY THREE BURGER HOUSE, 123 King St., 687-2790. From Carmelo’s owners. Premium burgers, made with beef from NYC butcher Schweid & Sons. Wood-fired pizzas, ice cream bar, Old World milkshakes. $$ BW K TO L D Daily SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 321 A1A Beach Blvd., 217-3256, saltlifefoodshack.com. SEE BEACHES.
SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK
BASIL Thai & Sushi, 1004 Hendricks Ave., 674-0190, basilthaijax.com. F Authentic Pad Thai, curry, tempura, vegetarian, seafood, stir-fry, specials. $$ FB L D Mon.-Sat. BISTRO AIX, 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox. com. F Mediterranean/French inspired; steak frites, oak-fired pizza, raw bar seasonal selections. $$$ FB TO L D Daily DICK’S Wings, 1610 University Blvd. W., 448-2110. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. EUROPEAN STREET Café, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 398-9500. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. $ BW K L D Daily FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusionsushijax.com. F Upscale sushi spot serves a variety of fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu. $$ K L D Daily The GROTTO WINE & TAPAS BAR, 2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726. F Artisanal cheese plate, empanada, bruschetta, cheesecake. 60+ wines by the glass. $$$ BW Tue.-Sun. HAMBURGER MARY’S Bar & Grille, 3333 Beach Blvd., 551-2048, hamburgermarys.com. F BOJ winner. Wings, sammies, nachos, entrées, drinks, burgers. $$ K TO FB L D Daily KITCHEN ON SAN MARCO, 1402 San Marco Blvd., 396-2344, kitchenonsanmarco.com. BOJ winner. Local, national craft beers, specialty cocktails, seasonal menu, fresh, locally sourced ingredients. Sunday brunch. $$ FB L D Daily MEZZE Bar & Grill, 2016 Hendricks Ave., 683-0693, mezzejax.com. Classic drinks, basil martinis, 35 drafts, local/craft brews, Mediterranean cuisine. Hookah. Happy hour. $$ FB D Daily METRO Diner, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metro diner.com. F BOJ winner. Original upscale diner. Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, soups. $$ B R L Daily MOJO BAR-B-QUE, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. PIZZA PALACE, 1959 San Marco Ave., 399-8815, pizza palacejax.com. F Family-owned-and-operated; spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, lasagna. Outside dining. $$ BW K TO L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco Ave., 398-3005, tavernasan marco.com. Chef Sam Efron’s authentic Italian; local produce, meats. Craft beers, craft cocktails. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily
SOUTHSIDE, TINSELTOWN
ALHAMBRA Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. USA’s longest-running dinner theater; Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus. Reservations. $$ FB D Tue.-Sun. BARBERITOS, 4320 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., Ste. 106, 807-9060. F SEE AMELIA ISLAND. DICK’S Wings & Grill, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., 619-0954. BOJ. SEE ORANGE PARK. DIM SUM Room, 9041 Southside, 363-9888, thedimsum room.com. Shrimp dumplings, sesame ball. Traditional Hong Kong noodles, barbecue. $ FB K L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET Café, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F SEE ORANGE PARK.
MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MONROE’S Smokehouse BAR B-Q, 10771 Beach Blvd., 996-7900, monroessmokehousebbq.com. SEE RIVERSIDE. OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr., 900-7730, ovinte. com. 2015 BOJ winner. European-style dining influenced by Italy, Spain, Mediterranean. Small plates, entrée-size portions, selections from charcuterie menu. $$$ BW TO R D Daily TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Ct., 854-0426, tavernayamas.com. F Bite Club. Char-broiled kabobs, seafood, wines, desserts. Belly dancing. $$ FB K L D Daily
SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE
DICK’S WINGS, 12400 Yellow Bluff Rd., Ste. 101, 619-9828. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. HOLA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1001 N. Main St., 356-3100, holamexicanrestaurant.com. F Fajitas, burritos, enchiladas, daily specials. Happy hour; sangria. $ BW K TO L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 12001 Lem Turner Rd., 764-9999. SEE ORANGE PARK.
DECEMBER 30, 2015-JANUARY 5, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 41
LOOKIN’ FOR LOVE FOLIO
W E E K LY
FOLIO LIVING
PET
DEAR DAVI
UNLEASHED AT THE TOWN CENTER
Dear Davi, After the holidays, my human has quite a few returns and exchanges to make (those Lululemon pants weren’t made for everyone, ya know). Are there any stores at the St. Johns Town Center that allow me to shop alongside my companion? Sincerely, Toby Hi Toby, I disagree with your assessment of universality of comfortable, if tight-fitting pants, but if you or your human have any legitimate post-holiday returns/exchanges to make, there are, in fact, a growing number of shops tweaking their policies to let pups to shop with their humans. While these stores mostly cater to those seeking clothes and gifts, many stash treats and fill water bowls for canine customers. Here’s a few I visited recently. NATURAL LIFE: Sticking to her free-spirit vibe, Natural Life founder Patti Hughes let me roam freely in the bohemian clothing store – that goes for all dogs. “Our mission is to make the world a better place by inspiring people to give and live happy, and dogs make people happy,” she says. LUSH COSMETICS: Earthy scents from the open door lured me into LUSH. Sales expert Kendall Wilson tells me dogs are regular customers. “They usually drink from the water bowl before browsing the product line with their people.” On top of being dog-friendly, LUSH offers a line of body products that show a true love for animals. “LUSH has a cruelty-free, noanimal-testing policy for their products, and that admiration for animals extends to your four-legged friends.” FREE PEOPLE: This store is a dog-friendly destination that features trendy women’s fashions and friendly folks, like store
LOVERS’
GUIDE
assistant Hannah Chadwick, who always smiles when dogs visit. “Dogs make everybody happier. People tend to open up more and talk about their own dogs when they see dogs in the store,” Chadwick says. LULULEMON ATHLETICA: Being an active dog, it was cool to discover a water bowl filled to the brim – an unspoken sign of a dog-friendly shop. Even cooler is store manager KCJ Szwedzinski, who is also the executive director of Project Chance, an organization that trains service dogs for kids with autism. She brings her service dog Maka with her on most days. ANTHROPOLOGIE: I’m no fashion expert, but I do like sniffing around the latest styles. “We love to inspire by providing an unimagined experience, and dogs are a part of that experience,” says manager Yasmin Evans. The store also supports the pet community by partnering with local shelters for Sit, Stay, Love, an adoption drive. BARNES & NOBLE: Though dogs are not allowed in the café, we are welcome to wander the aisles of books (and vinyl!) with our humans. Where’s Spot? In the section where they stock true stories of animal heroes! WILLIAMS-SONOMA KITCHEN ESSENTIALS: No more scratching at the door. We’re finally allowed in, but there is one exception – we must be held. Dogs with strong wagging tails might knock over plates and glasses, so Great Danes, Chesapeake Bay Retrievers and Mastiffs should probably make other plans. Cooking classes are held often – the aromas could also be distracting. Remember that many stores still leave it up to the manager to decide if they will allow dogs. It’s a very good idea to call ahead and find out the policy before you hit the mall. Happy return shopping! Davi mail@folioweekly.com ___________________ Davi is a brown dachshund with an appetite for adventure. He loves sweet potato treats, playing at the park with friends, and exploring the unknown.
BEASTS OF BURDEN: PET TIP OF THE WEEK NOT A BUNCH OF PUSSIES Cats are territorial creatures and can be aggressive when introduced to a new feline that could be a potential friend (no matter how cute). The Humane Society offers helpful tips to keep your cats playing nicely (the fi rst and most obvious of which is to make sure they are all spayed or neutered): • Provide enough resources (food and water dishes, resting places, litter boxes) for each cat • Give each cat individual attention • Reward each cat when they get along Just keep in mind that many – OK, most – cats seem to take a little longer to accept not being the sole focus of your attention.
U P C O M I N G FIRST COAST NO MORE HOMELESS PETS No pet should go without medical care. Through its free, low-cost and discounted veterinary services, FCNMHP can help you keep your beloved pet. From routine wellness exams to life-saving treatments, a wide range of veterinary services are offered, including vaccinations, parasite control, flea and heartworm prevention and treatment, microchipping, dental cleanings and diagnostic testing. Free spay/neuter surgeries for pet or feral cats of Duval County residents are available for a limited time. A city license ($20 at FCNMHP) is required for pet cats. Feral cats are free, but the ear will be clipped and the person(s) who drops them off must also pick them up. 42 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 30, 2015-JANUARY 5, 2016
P E T
E V E N T S
This special is for current Duval County residents only, so please bring proof of residence to the appointment. Feral cats can take up to 72 hours to process due to large intake and volume. Clients are limited to six free spay/neuters under this program. Call to schedule an appointment. From now through Dec. 31, existing FCNMHP customers can refer someone and both will receive $10 at First Coast No More Homeless Pets. If you’ve had at least one prior appointment, you’re eligible to “refur” someone who’s never visited. The new customer must print a certificate posted on the website, (fcnmhp.org) (“I’ve Been Refurred!”) and follow the instructions to redeem. The existing customer must first wait until the “refurred” customer
visits First Coast No More Homeless Pets before redeeming their own printed certificate (“I Refurred a Friend”). Either way, it’s a good deal for a good cause! NEW YEAR’S EVE BENEFIT A gala benefit for Nassau Humane Society with the band Crescendo Amelia is held at 8 p.m. Dec. 31 at Atlantic Recreation Center Ballroom, 2500 Atlantic Ave., Fernandina Beach, 302-6086; for tickets and details, go to crescendoamelia.com. The Society also needs volunteers for its dog park and other programs, nassauhumanesociety.com. BARK & BOWL IV It’s never too early to make plans with your best friend. The North Florida Chapter of the National Canine Cancer Foundation hosts a fun event that benefi ts dogs everywhere while striking out canine cancer, 6-9 p.m. Jan. 23 at Bowl America Mandarin, 10333 San Jose Blvd., 571-5829. Bowling, drink specials, and raffle prizes are featured. Teams of four or more must raise $500 to secure a lane to bowl for a great cause. All donations are 100 percent tax-deductible, 877-411-3436.
ADOPTABLES
PATTI MAYONNAISE Where is my Doug? I’m a two-year-old cutie looking for the perfect companion. I like long naps on the windowsill, quality catnip, and I’ll have absolutely nothing to do with the rain. If you’re into affection and cuddling, we’ll make a purrfect pair. Let the cat out of the bag – you know you want to adopt me! For adoption information, visit jaxhumane.org PAWS PARK, WINGATE PARK This park is open 5 a.m.-10 p.m. daily (closed Thur. for maintenance) at 199 Penman Rd. S., Jax Beach, 247-6236. The membership park costs $50 to join – and here’s what you and your pup can enjoy: large dog area, small dog area, handicapped parking, restrooms, automatic watering bowls, benches, trees, poop bag dispensers and waste bins. JACKSONVILLE HUMANE SOCIETY The Society offers $25 adoptions through December, for dogs more than 30 pounds and cats more than one year old. The facility is open for adoptions on New Year’s Eve until 4 p.m. There’s a microchip special this month, too, $10 at JHS’s Community Animal Hospital, 8464 Beach Blvd., Southside, 493-4611, jaxhumane.org. Don’t forget to support the Thrift Store at 8328 Beach Blvd.,
ADOPTABLES
HOMER Where is my Marge? D’oh! OK, so I may not be the brightest dog in the building but I am definitely the sweetest. That could be a direct result of my donut habit – every time I “sit,” they give me treats. Who’s the smarty-pants now? I’m a quiet, happy guy who’d love nothing more than to sit on the couch and drink some fresh, er, water from the toilet with you! For adoption information, visit jaxhumane.org 724-9242, open 11 a.m.-6 p.m. Monday-Friday, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Saturday and noon-4 p.m. Sunday. HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS The city of Jacksonville offers this program during December. All adoptions are $40; there’s a form at coj.net; certain restrictions apply. 630-2489. To see your pet event here, send event name, time, date, location with complete street address and city, admission price, contact number/website to print, to mdryden@ folioweekly.com – at least two weeks before the event.
DECEMBER 30, 2015-JANUARY 5, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 43
FREEWILL ASTROLOGY
JONESINâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; THE FOLIO WEEKLYMAGAZINE CROSSWORD by MATT JONES. Presented by
SAN MARCO 2044 SAN MARCO BLVD. 398-9741
PONTE VEDRA
SUPERNOVA, SILKWORMS, HORSE MANURE, NILE RIVER & CHAMPAGNE
SOUTHSIDE
AVONDALE THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA AVENUES MALL 3617 ST. JOHNS AVE. 330 A1A NORTH 10300 SOUTHSIDE BLVD. 388-5406 280-1202 394-1390
â&#x20AC;&#x153;No Whey!â&#x20AC;? (Somehow you gotta take your lumps.) ACROSS
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44 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 30, 2015-JANUARY 5, 2016
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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Artist John Koenig invents new words. Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one applicable to your 2016 journey: â&#x20AC;&#x153;keyframe.â&#x20AC;? Koenig defines it as being a seemingly mundane phase of your life that is in fact a turning point. Major plot twists in your big story arrive half-hidden amid a stream of innocuous events. They donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t exist through â&#x20AC;&#x153;a series of jolting epiphanies,â&#x20AC;? Koenig says, but â&#x20AC;&#x153;by tiny imperceptible differences between one ordinary day and the next.â&#x20AC;? Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s important to act with maximum integrity and excellence in your everyday routine. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The months ahead look like one of the best times ever for your love life. Old romantic wounds are finally ready to be healed. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll know what to do to shed tired traditions and bad habits that limited your ability to get the spicy sweetness you deserve. Are you up to the fun challenge? Be desirous of deep feelings. Be exuberantly aggressive in honoring primal yearnings. Imagine new approaches to get what you want. The innovations in intimacy you initiate in the new few months will bring gifts and teachings for years. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In ancient times, observers of the sky knew the difference between stars and planets. The stars remained fixed in their places. The planets wandered around, always shifting positions in relationship to the stars. But now and then, at irregular intervals, a very bright star would suddenly materialize out of nowhere, stay in the same spot for a while, then disappear. Chinese astronomers called these â&#x20AC;&#x153;guest stars.â&#x20AC;? We call them as supernovae. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re previously dim or invisible stars that explode, releasing tremendous energy for a short time. In 2016, you may experience a metaphorical equivalent of a guest star. Learn all you can from it. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll provide teachings and blessings for years.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In the 19th century, horses were a primary mode of personal transportation. Some rode them, and others sat in carriages and wagons horses pulled. As cities grew larger, a problem emerged: the mounting manure left behind on the roads. It became an ever-increasing challenge to clear away the equine â&#x20AC;&#x153;pollution.â&#x20AC;? In 1894, a British newspaper predicted the streets of London would be covered with nine feet of the stuff by 1950. Then something unexpected happened: cars. Gradually, the threat of an excremental apocalypse waned. This is an example of what I expect for you in 2016: a pressing dilemma will gradually dissolve because of the arrival of a factor you canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t imagine. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s longest river flows in eastern Africa: the Nile. It originates below the equator and empties in the Mediterranean Sea. Its current flows north, its prevailing winds blow south. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s why sailors have found it easily navigable for thousands of years. They can either go with the flow of the water or use sails to harness the power of the breeze. Make the Nile your official metaphor in 2016. You need versatile resources to enable you to come and go as you please, ones that are flexible in supporting your efforts to go where and when you want. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In many cases, steel isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t fully useful if itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s too hard. Manufacturers often have to soften it a bit. This process, called tempering, makes the steel springier and more malleable. Car parts, for example, canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be too rigid. If they were, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d break too easily. Use â&#x20AC;&#x153;temperingâ&#x20AC;? as a main metaphor in 2016. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be strong and vigorous, qualities that serve best if you keep them flexible. Do you know the word â&#x20AC;&#x153;ductileâ&#x20AC;?? If not, look it up. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be your word of power.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Be alert for an abundance of interesting lessons in 2016. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be offered teachings on a variety of practical subjects, including how to take care of yourself well, how to live the life you want, and how to build connections to serve your dreams. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re even moderately responsive to prompts and nudges, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll become smarter than you thought possible. So just imagine how savvy youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be if you ardently embrace educational opportunities. Some of these opportunities may be partially in disguise.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In his essay â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Etiquette of Freedom,â&#x20AC;? poet Gary Snyder says wildness â&#x20AC;&#x153;is perennially within us, dormant as a hard-shelled seed, awaiting the fire or flood that awakes it again.â&#x20AC;? The â&#x20AC;&#x153;hard-shelledâ&#x20AC;? seed is crucial. Vital stuff under the stiff outer coating may not break out and start growing without help. Fire or flood? They might do the job. I propose in 2016 you find an equally vigorous but less disruptive prod to liberate your dormant wildness. You could embark on a brave pilgrimage or quest. Dare yourself to escape your comfort zone. Any undomesticated fantasies youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been suppressing? Unsuppress!
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The silkworm grows fast. Once it hatches, it eats constantly for three weeks. By the time it spins its cocoon, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 10,000 times heavier than it was in the beginning. On the other hand, a mature, 60-foottall saguaro cactus may take 30 years to fully grow a new side arm. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in no hurry. From what I can tell, 2015 was more like a silkworm year for you, whereas 2016 will be more like a saguaro year. Keep in mind: though the saguaro phase is different from silkworm time, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just as important.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Frederick the Great was King of Prussia, 1740-â&#x20AC;&#x2122;86. He was also an Aquarius who experimented with eccentric ideas. When he brewed coffee, he used champagne instead of water. Once the hot elixir was ready to drink, he mixed in a dash of powdered mustard. In light of astrological omens, I suspect Frederickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s exotic blend might be an apt symbol for your life in 2016: a vigorous, rich, complex synthesis of champagne, coffee, and mustard. (Frederick testified â&#x20AC;&#x153;champagne carries happiness to the brain.â&#x20AC;?)
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): â&#x20AC;&#x153;The sky calls me,â&#x20AC;? wrote Virgo teacher-poet Sri Chinmoy. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The wind calls me. The moon and stars call me. The dense groves call me. The dance of the fountain calls me. Smiles call me, tears call me. A faint melody calls me. The morn, noon and eve call me. Everyone is searching for a playmate. Everyone is calling me, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Come, come!â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;? In 2016, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll have a lot of experience with feelings like these. Sometimes lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s seductiveness may overwhelm, activating confused desires to go everywhere and do everything. Other times, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be enchanted by lush invitations, and will know exactly how to respond and reciprocate.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): My Piscean friend Arturo is a very good piano player. He says he can produce 150 different sounds from any single key. Using the foot pedals accounts for some of the variation. How he touches a key is an even more important factor. It can be percussive, fluidic, staccato, relaxed, lively, and many other moods. Cultivate a similar approach to your unique skills in 2016. Expand and deepen your ability to draw out the best in them. Learn how to be even more expressive with powers you already have. Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com
DECEMBER 30, 2015-JANUARY 5, 2016 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 45
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hepherd link.net
NEWS OF THE WEIRD I TOTALLY PAUSED AT THAT SIGN
According to the flabbergasted sheriff of rural Chesterfield County, South Carolina, “This has completely changed our definition of [what constitutes] an ‘ass-load’ of guns.” Brent Nicholson, 51, stored more than 7,000 firearms (most of them likely stolen) in his home and a storage building on his property. Every room of the house was stacked with weapons; it took four tractor-trailer trips to haul it all away, with help of 100 lawenforcement officers. Nicholson also had 500 chainsaws, at least 250 taxidermied deer, elk, alligator heads, and more. No motive was obvious to deputies. Nicholson would still be collecting ass-loads now if he hadn’t run a stop sign on Oct. 21, with bogus license plates on his truck.
LOADED APPLE
Following the release of Apple’s yearly financials in October (and based on sales of its iPhone 6), the company announced that, apart from other assets, it was sitting on $206 billion in cash — about like owning the entire gross domestic product of Venezuela, but all in cash. Another way of expressing it: Using only its cash, Apple could buy every single NFL, NBA, MLB, and NHL team, plus the 20 most valuable international soccer teams — and still have major bucks left over. Or, as the BGR.com blog also pointed out, it could instead simply give every man, woman and child in America $646 (coincidentally, about what a new iPhone 6 sells for).
AND 2,500 TIN FOIL HATS
Even if Armageddon doesn’t happen, the CEO of the massive online retailer Overstock.com believes there is a “10 to 20 percent” chance of a world financial meltdown in the next few years, and he is arranging to be back in business in its aftermath. Patrick Byrnes told the <New York Post> in November he’s stashed enough food in a well-fortified facility in Utah’s Granite Mountain to serve his 2,000 employees for “30 to 60 days,” along with several thousand other emergency preparations and $10 million in gold. But, he insisted, he’s not a gun-toting “prepper”;
the plan is only about tiding employees over until the Internet and banking systems are back up and running.
IT’S GREAT TO BE A FLORIDA GATOR!
Matthew Riggins had told his girlfriend earlier that he and a pal were planning to burglarize some homes around Barefoot Bay in Brevard County, and was apparently on that mission Nov. 23 when an alert resident called 911, and the men scrambled. The accomplice was caught several days later, but Riggins did not survive the night — having taken refuge in nearby woods and drowning trying to outswim an apparently hungry 11-foot alligator.
JACK LONDON WOULD BE PROUD
Russian artist Pyotr Pavlensky, 31, who’s devoted his career to getting on the government’s nerves, did so again in November. He set fire to the front door of Russia’s security service headquarters (the FSB, formerly KGB) and has been detained — though from his cell, he demanded his charge of “vandalism” be changed to “terrorism.” A member of the Russian band Pussy Riot called the door fire “the most important work of contemporary art of recent years.” Pavlensky once sewed his lips together protesting arrests of Pussy Riot.
WHAT NOT TO NAME THE BABY
Arrested for burglary, in Porthcawl, Wales, November: Christopher Badman. Charged in two shootings in Medina County, Texas, November: Shane Outlaw. Arrested for trespassing at Budweiser brewery in St. Louis, Missouri, December: Mr. Bud Weisser, 19. Credited with rescuing two women from a man who was terrifying strangers on the street in Toronto on Nov. 22: the local professional clown Doo Doo (Shane Faberman). Doo Doo was in costume when he made the rescue. Also, a “Vietnamese man” supposedly named Phuc Dat Bich, who had trouble getting Facebook to register his name. Despite having several mainstream-media outlets gullibly cover his complaint in mid-November, he admitted a week later the name was bogus. Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net
LET’S RIDE TOPLESS TOGETHER You: Sexy, dark, handsome, sideways ballcap-wearer, BMW convertible. Me: Hot pink, caramel-covered sweetness, MB convertible. Pressed my horn, blew a kiss. Like a real one in the woods? You know where to find me. When: Dec. 26. Where: Leaving UNF Nature Trails. #1582-1230 JAX BEACH EARLY MORNING PHOTOS Enjoying sunrise near 34th Ave.; struck up conversation. Asked to take photos of you. You: White shorts; got a little wet as waves caught you. Never gave you my card to send the pix. When: Sept. 28. Where: Jax Beach 34th Ave. S. #1581-1230
FIRST WATCH HOT BREAKFAST You: Hot guy, adorable dog; sexy smile, gorgeous blue eyes, captured my heart. Me: In love with you. Hoping you’ll give me chance someday to be your Queen. Let’s run away to the islands together. When: Oct. 31. Where: First Watch Ponte Vedra. #1569-1104 IT MATTERS To me ... in my dreams. Remember still, our time. Your lips, your intoxicating scent. US, together. One night of bliss maybe? Mexican magic? When: Oct. 7. Where: Los Portalas. #1568-1104
TATTOOED REDHEAD HOLDING ARCHAEOLOGY BOOKS After clarifying sweater was indeed women’s, you laughed at my remark about you fitting into clothes. Our interaction made my day. Judging from book cover, know carbon dating’s your thing. Coffee dating sometime? When: Dec. 11. Where: UNF Bookstore. #1580-1230
MOM WANTS YOU Daughter and I outside Lynch’s. You: LEO on bicycle, handsome, great calves! Later, dealt with Walgreens drunk. Little shy … my daughter said to get your attention. Drinks, Super Troopers, Training Day … what’s your speed? When: Oct. 13. Where: Lynch’s Jax Beach. #1567-1028
PUT MY FIRE OUT You: Cute fireman, glasses, looking at stuffed dinosaurs. Wish you’d put my burning desire for you out with your big fire hose. Me: Brunette, yoga pants, hoodie. Too shy to introduce myself. Wish I’d said hello. When: Dec. 9. Where: Publix off Kernan & Atlantic. #1579-1216
YOU WAVED BACK GRINNING You: Bad-ass-looking guy, big black truck. Me: Soccer-mom-looking girl, silver minivan. Waved at you driving on 295-N, played a little cat-and-mouse, you got off on I-95-S. Let me prove looks can be deceiving. When: Oct. 3, 7-ish. Where: 295 North. #1566-1021
ALRIGHT NOW! You: Tall, handsome, sweet leaf. Me: Just a duck. Let’s play Jenga @ Across The Street! When: Dec. 1. Where: Post & Edgewood. #1578-1216
NOTHING MATTERS Self-hypnosis can’t stop me thinking from of you. No matter where I go and what I do, I still remember those beautiful eyes and the way my heart jumps when I see you. When: Oct. 6. Where: Luigi’s Pizza. #1565-1014
GOOD LUCK CHARM TEACHER You: Blonde, glasses, long red skirt and shirt, wrist tattoo, near where I studied for final, grading papers. We talked, you said good luck, get sleep. Me: Gray sweater, white collared shirt. Coffee, talk again? When: Dec. 3. Where: Bold Bean Coffee Roasters Riverside. #1577-1209 GIFT WRAP MY HEART You: Beautiful, tall, brunette, green eyes, longest eyelashes ever. Me: Secret admirer. We chatted; fell for little freckle by your left eye, infectious smile. Could listen to you talk gift-wrapping all day. Burger and fries? When: Last week. Where: MOSH. #1576-1209 PLUMBA A penguin sighting that can only compare to Anton Ego’s flashback in Ratatouille; you bring me back to a happier place. Sweaty palms for this lucky bear clearly indicate that we miss each other’s face. One434Evr. When: Anytime. Where: Anywhere. #1575-1209 GREEN SUNGLASSES I see you everywhere. Can I take your sunglasses and smack you with them? You’re too cute for your own good. You’ll never notice me though... When: Every day. Where: FSCJ. #1574-1209 FOUND UR GIFT CARD, DONATED Target gift card, “To: J_ From: W_” Used card and my $30, bought and donated socks to Salvation Army. Sorry didn’t find you; hope you understand & appreciate doing good for others. When: Nov. 22. Where: Southside Loop parking lot. #1573-1202 CELTIC CUTIE @ CELTIC FEST You hugged me. I gave you band picture. You left with your friends too soon. Been thinking about that meeting ever since. Would like to continue where we left off. When: Nov. 14. Where: Jax Beach Celtic Fest. #1572-1125 LAVENDERISH HAIR You: Cute, blondish lavender hair, print dress; dropped phone outside library reopening. Me: Riverside guy, glasses, blue shirt; picked up phone, chatted. Met again; you left. Wanted to talk more. Like to get acquainted further. When: Nov. 14. Where: Willowbranch Library. #1571-1125 LITTLE RIVER BAND CONCERT You: Tall, long-haired dude, very handsome. Chatted in box offi ce @ Florida Theatre. Me: Too shy to introduce myself. I’ll be @ Art
46 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 30, 2015-JANUARY 5, 2016
Walk Nov. 19. If feeling’s mutual, bring me a flower. When: Nov. 5. Where: Florida Theatre. #1570-1111
HOT MINI DRIVER You: Getting in red Mini near SunRay, hot white-rimmed glasses. Drake blasting from car as you almost hit in crosswalk; gave me a thumbs-up. Me: Tall skater nerd, Donuts For Jesus shirt. You Let’s hang out. When: Sept. 29. Where: Five Points. #1564-1014 TALL, DARK, HANDSOME, PATRIOTS FAN Jags/ Pats game. You: Pats shirt, jeans; with friends by bus watching game. Me: Short wavy auburn hair, Jags tank, cut-offs. Locked eyes as I went to sit. Heart skipped a beat at your handsomeness. Drinks on me, celebrate your win? :) When: Sept. 27. Where: Mellow Mushroom Jax Beach. #1563-0930 BOWL ME OVER Me: In the mood to be pinned. You: Lakers jersey. Bowling but said you’d rather play video games. Said you’re about to take a trip into Asia. Can we bowl balls together in Asia? When: Sept. 25. Where: Jax Lanes. #1564-0930 HUNGER GAMES Hungry; got hungrier you entered. Told me you were going east to eat genuine Asian. Wanted to talk more but you had to go because your cousin, Jimmy, owed you a quarter. Let’s eat out together? When: Sept. 14. Where: China Wok. #1562-0923 NICE SMILE You: Brown hair, thin bearded guy, nice smile, bright eyes, blue “Good” sneaker T-shirt, with friends. Me: Short, thin brunette, blue/white tank, table across yours. Caught your eye, smiled. Like to know you better. Grab a drink? When: Sept. 11. Where: World of Beer Southside. #1561-0916 ECLIPSE RIVERSIDE 9/11 Super-cute brunette, ’80s night, black romper, white sandals. With group. Me: Solo; noticed matching outfi t friend telling you to ask me to dance. Wanted to approach. Group left. Second chance? I’d dance the night away with you. When: Sept. 11. Where: Eclipse Riverside. #1560-0916 FIRE BUG I saw you, late night on a Friday. You were on fire, so hot. Couldn’t tell if it was your flaming personality or that fl aming staff. Night dives, long chats, but why you didn’t you ever text me? When: Sept. 4. Where: Beach. #1559-0916
CLASSIFIEDS HELP WANTED
HIRING ALL KITCHEN STAFF Gators Dockside is now hiring for experienced full time and part time kitchen staff! We are a brand new restaurant coming to Murabella Shopping Center near World Golf Village, looking for a team to grow. Gators Dockside is a family-friendly sports bar with fresh wings, fresh hand-patted burgers and homemade ribs. Come and fill out an application Monday-Friday, 10am5pm. On-spot interviews and hiring will be done. 105 Murabella Parkway, St. Augustine 32092. (12/30/15) BE PART OF A MIRACLE Become a Surrogate Mother and help a loving, infertile couple become parents! Earn $32,000 & up plus expenses paid. Call 888-363-9457 or contact ReproductivePossibilities.com. Reproductive Possibilities, an established Surrogacy Agency, seeks loving women to carry couples’ biological babies. Requirements: Between ages 2143, nonsmoker and have previously given birth. (1/27/16)
HEALTH
VIAGRA!! 52 PILLS FOR ONLY $99. Your #1 trusted provider for 10 years. Insured and Guaranteed Delivery. Call today 1-888-403-9028. (AAN CAN)(1/6/16)
YOUR PORTAL TO REACHING 85,000+ READERS WEEKLY ADULT
VIAGRA!! 52 PILLS FOR ONLY $99. Your #1 trusted provider for 10 years. Insured and Guaranteed Delivery. Call today 1-877-621-7013. (AAN CAN)(1/6/16)
HOUSING WANTED
ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Lonely? Bored? Broke? Find the perfect roommate to complement your personality and lifestyle at Roommates.com! (2/3/16)
ADOPTION
PREGNANT? THINKING OF ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families Nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. 866-413-6293. (AAN CAN) (12/30/15)
PHONE ACTRESSES FROM HOME Must have dedicated landline, great voice. 21+. Up to $18 per hour. Flex Hrs./most Wknds. 800-403-7772. Lipservice.net. (AAN CAN) (2/3/16) PAID IN ADVANCE! Make $1,000 A Week Mailing Brochures From Home! No Experience Required. Helping home workers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity. Start Immediately! TheIncomeHub.com. (AAN CAN) (1/27/16)
CAREER TRAINING
NEW YEAR, NEW AIRLINE CAREERS Get training as FAA certified Aviation Technician. Financial aid for qualified students. Career placement assistance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance, 800-725-1563. (AAN CAN) (1/20/16)
VEHICLES WANTED
CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 888-420-3808. cash4car.com. (AAN CAN) (1/5/16)
MISCELLANEOUS
DISH TV STARTING AT $19.99/MONTH (for 12 mos.) SAVE! Regular Price $34.99 Ask About FREE SAME DAY Installation! CALL Now! 888-992-1957. (AAN CAN) (12/30/15)
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