12/27/17 Zine Scene

2 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 27, 2017-JANUARY 2, 2018

THIS WEEK // 12.27.17-1.2.18// VOL. 30 ISSUE 39 COVER STORY

ZINE SCENE

[10]

Local writers and artists REVIVE BINARY FORM to share passions and create community story by HURLEY WINKLER photos by MADISON GROSS

FEATURED ARTICLES FEATURED

IDENTITY CRISIS

BY A.G. GANCARSKI Nothing amazing about Jax AMAZON PITCH

[8]

OH, HENRY!

[15]

BY SHELTON HULL Rollins returns to Northeast Florida, bringing THE WHOLE WORLD along

BEER IN REVIEW

BY MARC WISDOM A look back at how CRAFT BEER changed in 2017

[23]

COLUMNS + CALENDARS MAIL/B&B FROM THE EDITOR OUR PICKS FIGHTIN’ WORDS NEWS AAND NOTES MUSIC FILM

4 5 6 8 9 13 14

ARTS LISTING ARTS LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR NYE PICKS DINING PINT-SIZED BITE-SIZED

14 15 17 20 22 23 24

CHEFFED-UP PET PARENTING CROSSWORD / ASTROLOGY WEIRD / I SAW U CLASSIFIEDS BACKPAGE / M.D. M.J.

25 26 28 29 30 31

GET SOCIAL visit us online at

FOLIOWEEKLY.COM PUBLISHER • Sam Taylor sam@folioweekly.com / 904.860.2465

DISTRIBUTION

EDITORIAL

ADVERTISING

EDITOR • Claire Goforth claire@folioweekly.com / ext. 115 SENIOR EDITOR • Marlene Dryden mdryden@folioweekly.com / ext. 131 A&E EDITOR • Madeleine Peck Wagner madeleine@folioweekly.com / ext. 128 EDITORIAL INTERNS • Tommy Robelot, Josh Hodges CARTOONIST • Tom Tomorrow CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Rob Brezsny, John E. Citrone, Josue Cruz, Julie Delegal, Susan Cooper Eastman, Marvin Edwards, A.G. Gancarski, Dan Hudak, Shelton Hull, MaryAnn Johanson, Mary Maguire, Keith Marks, Pat McLeod, Nick McGregor, Jake Gerken, Kara Pound, Dale Ratermann, Nikki Sanders, Matthew B. Shaw, Chuck Shepherd, Brentley Stead, Chef Bill Thompson, Marc Wisdom VIDEOGRAPHERS • Doug Lewis, Ron Perry

DESIGN ART DIRECTOR • Chaz Bäck cback@folioweekly.com / ext. 116 SENIOR GRAPHIC DESIGNER • Madison Gross madisong@folioweekly.com

BUSINESS & ADMINISTRATION BUSINESS MANAGER • Lorraine Cover fpiadmin@folioweekly.com / ext. 119

Bobby Pendexter / cosmicdistributions@gmail.com

PUBLISHER Sam Taylor sam@folioweekly.com / (904) 860-2465 MULTIMEDIA ACCOUNT MANAGERS CJ Allen CJAllen946@gmail.com / ext. 140 Kathrin Lancelle klancelle@folioweekly.com / ext. 124 Tony Fuesler tony@folioweekly.com Pat Ladd pat@folioweekly.com / ext. 151

FOLIO WEEKLY MAGAZINE IS PUBLISHED EVERY WEDNESDAY THROUGHOUT NORTHEAST FLORIDA AND CAMDEN COUNTY, GEORGIA. It contains opinions of contributing writers that are not necessarily the opinion of this publication.

Folio Weekly Magazine welcomes editorial and photographic contributions. Calendar information must be received two weeks in advance of event date.

Copyright © Folio Publishing, Inc. 2017. All rights reserved. Advertising rates and information are available on request. An advertiser purchases right of publication only. One free issue copy per person.

Additional copies and back issues are $1 each at the office or $4 by U.S. mail, based on availability. First Class mail subscriptions are $48 for 13 weeks, $96 for 26 weeks and $189 for 52 weeks. Please recycle Folio Weekly.

Folio Weekly Magazine is printed on 100% recycled paper using soy-based inks.

thefolioweekly

@folioweekly

@folioweekly

Mobile App

For the best in Live Music, Arts, Sports, Food and Nightlife, download our DOJAX Mobile App by texting “Folio” to 77948

45 West Bay Street, Suite 103 Jacksonville, Florida 32202 PHONE 904.260.9770 FAX 904.260.9773 DECEMBER 27, 2017-JANUARY 2, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 3

THE MAIL and ex-FBI director James Comey writing Hillary’s exoneration before questioning her, you have to ask yourself, “What happened to our justice system?”

If Corrine Brown deserves five years of confinement for her misuse of a fraudulent charity, then Hillary Clinton should be serving 20-years-to-life. What this demonstrates is that a “get out of jail free card” is a function of your political connections that are tools of elite political class (Ms. Brown wasn’t quite high enough up the food chain for that) with which they can escape justice. What does this say about equal justice under the law? That it’s morphing into the concept of “justice” in places like Cuba, Somalia and North Korea. Very sad.

Chris Berman via email

TIPPING THE SCALES OF JUSTICE

THE CONVICTION AND SENTENCING OF CORRINE Brown is a travesty of justice. No, not that I believe her to be innocent; I’m sure they got the charges right.

The travesty is what our American justice system is becoming. Brown’s being caught and sentenced has nothing to do with race, despite what some would allege. They do, however, have everything to do with the level of political power one can exert, how that power is wielded and how much damaging information one keeps on people that can end your political career.

While we have not quite yet reached the point of the kangaroo courts of the old Soviet Union, banana republics or that of the court that convicted Alfred Dreyfus in France in 1894, falsely railroaded the man into prison on politically inspired charges, we are heading in that direction. Case in point: Hillary Clinton.

Compared to the antics of Clinton, communicating top-secret data on an unsecured server, using the state department as her personal money-laundering “bank,” defrauding Bernie Sanders of his right to a legitimate nomination battle and the selling off of 20 percent of America’s uranium to Russia for a $500,000 pay-off to her husband, Corrine Brown’s crimes are the equivalent of jaywalking.

With the lead agent investigating Clinton having been fired, not just for anti-Trump tweets but for doctoring correspondence unfavorable to Clinton

Editor’s note: PolitiFact reports that Clinton’s State Department was one of nine government agencies that approved the sale of Uranium One to the Russian nuclear agency. Both PolitiFact and the Washington Post state that reports of a payoff from Russia to the Clintons are mostly false or misleading.

CSX ON 34TH STREET

RE.: ‘Train in Vain,” by A.G. Gancarski, Dec. 17 I’M SORRY HE PASSED, BUT I WONDER IF CSX WILL go back to how it was before him? Hiring back the more than 1,000 who lost their jobs—now that would be a Christmas Miracle!

Amy Smith via Facebook

UNREASONABLE QUESTIONS

A WHITE COP SHOOTS A FLEEING UNARMED BLACK man in the back, plants “evidence,” then lies on an official report. His first trial with a predominantly white jury is “hung.” A subsequent federal trial convicts him, but he receives only 20 years for a vicious murder! Yet, many Americans question blacks’ justifiable anger, and puzzlingly say their responses, whether peaceful or violent, are equivalent to extant acts of hate and obvious racism people inflict upon them!

Alvin Xex via email

LEND YOUR VOICE If you’d like to respond to something you read in the pages of Folio Weekly, please send an email (with your name, address, and phone number for verification purposes only) to mail@folioweekly.com, visit us at folioweekly.com, or follow us on Twitter or Facebook (@folioweekly) and join the conversation.

BRICKBATS + BOUQUETS BRICKBATS TO JAY FANT Fant, a member of the Florida House and candidate for state Attorney General, has decided to get his name in the press by proposing legislation that would legalize discrimination against LGBTQ people.

On social media, he’s also vowed to continue the fight to allow “religious” folks to discriminate against others if their bigoted god demands it, should he become Florida’s next Attorney General. Taint happening, dude.

BOUQUETS TO MIDDLEBURG FAMILY DENTAL CARE On Nov. 18, which is Free Dentistry Day, the team at Middleburg Family Dental Care provided 80 locals with much-needed dentistry procedures, including extractions. In a release, the company reported that, all told, its staff provided more than $47,700 worth of services.

BRICKBATS TO CLAY YARBOROUGH In more news about a Florida House member who feels the need to legislate his own antiquated puritan views, Yarborough has proposed a resolution that would recognize “the public health crisis” and “hypersexualization of children and teens” caused by pornography.

Most of the resolution is rather idiotic, but it does at least note that “pornography objectifies women.” The resolution would essentially publicly acknowledge the need to educate, prevent, research and change policy “to protect the citizens of this state” from The Year of Getting to Know Butts.

DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? HOW ABOUT A BRICKBAT? Send submissions to mail@folioweekly.com; 50 word maximum, concerning a person, place, or topic of local interest.

4 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 27, 2017-JANUARY 2, 2018

FROM THE EDITOR

ON HIS WAY OUT THE DOOR, JEA BOARD CHAIR Tom Petway dropped a major bomb. The time, he said, had come to reconsider selling the municipal utility.

Petway’s suggestion that Jacksonville consider selling the utility was so shocking, it completely eclipsed the surprising news that he was abruptly departing the board he hadn’t been on long enough to even warm up his chair. Petway’s resignation should have made headlines, but in the mad dash to report and attempt to analyze his proposal, his desertion got at most a couple of paragraphs.

You will recall that in 2015, The Florida Times-Union revealed that among the four months’ worth of JEA board members’ emails it had requested, there was evidence board meetings were being coordinated and essentially scripted with input from the executive staff.

Boy, oh, boy, did City Hall come a-crowing after that, tossing around words like “puppets” and “revamp.” Everyone knew the problem wasn’t so much that the board was being manipulated by executive staff, but that they’d been stupid enough to do so via email. But no matter.

Within weeks, the board had been stocked with Currycrats. Just as Mayor Lenny Curry wished.

A lot of people guessed the move had come from the mayor’s office all along, but at the time, no one could quite figure out his agenda.

Two years later, we have our answer: to privatize, aka sell, JEA. When Petway delivered those twin mic-drop moments, nobody doubted for a second that the suggestion to sell off one of the city’s most important and largest assets had come from the mayor’s office. After all, Petway was Curry’s biggest backer in the 2015 election. No way he was making this move without Curry’s blessing.

So now the board Curry appointed is rushing to do his bidding like any good puppet-on-a-string would do. Only god and Brian Hughes know what he’s got on them and why they’re so willing to kiss the ring.

After all, most of them are successful business people, and presumably as such, know a bad deal when they see one. Probably it’s all about money—theirs, not ours—and they see Curry as a means to an end that makes them richer.

Meanwhile, folks all over town are still wondering why on Earth anyone would think it’s a good idea to sell JEA; after all, it contributes more than $100 million to the city budget every single year. Relinquishing local control of our power, water and sewer is such a terrible idea

POWER MOVES that most don’t even know what to say about it. That, and the fact that most local pols are chickenshit scared of Curry and Brian Hughes.

That chief-of-staff title might make it seem like Hughes has been leashed, but we all know it’s a very, very long leash. And the master holding the other end isn’t any less vicious.

In all honesty, at first it didn’t seem to make much sense. Here you have the largest of the city authorities, which employs thousands of locals, and absolutely churns money into the local economy and city coffers, and Mayor Accountant wants to sell it? What gives?

But if you’ve just sold the public on a pension deal that’s going to cost way, way more than you promised, basically giving them everything John Keane asked for and more in the distant past of a few years ago, and you’ve gone through two hurricanes in two years, given JSO permission to hire 100 more cops to ticket jaywalkers, handed $8.4 million to a private school for football stadiums and dorms, and secretly offered your campaign backer Peter Rummell $18 million of public money for him to buy one of the Southbank’s choicest properties, you might be worried that when all those bills come due, people are going to start questioning your intelligence and motives.

They might also wonder if basic math works the same way on Planet Curry. ’Cause on Planet Earth, when you add millions upon millions of extra expenses without raising revenue, you end up deeply in debt.

Jacksonville’s credit rating is already on shaky ground, and those agencies aren’t as easily swayed as City Council. The city’s credit rating getting downgraded on any mayor’s watch doesn’t play well on the campaign trail.

But all Curry’s problems go away if he somehow convinces us to sell JEA. Then he’d be able to cover pretty much any shortfall he’s created with the one-time cool billion—at least—that JEA would bring in. That kind of money would be plenty to pay off the City Councilmembers who might balk, too. Don’t think it’s a good idea, councilor? Well, how about a fat wad of cash for that pet project to get you reelected? Deal? Deal.

Let’s be clear on something: Selling JEA is not good for the citizens of Jacksonville. It’s good for Lenny Curry, his donors and all the Currycrats panting at his feet like adoring puppies.

Claire Goforth claire@folioweekly.com @ClaireNJax

Lenny Curry’s JEA CASH GRAB

DECEMBER 27, 2017-JANUARY 2, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5

LIGHT UP THE NIGHT

SAT

30

JACKSONVILLE BOAT LIGHT PARADE

Join your friends, family and neighbors, and friendly strangers as the largest boat parade in the area lights the way to 2018!

The parade starts at 7:30 p.m., Boogie Freaks play 9 p.m.-2 a.m. and fireworks at 9:30 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 30, The Jacksonville Landing, jacksonvillelanding.com.

OUR PICKS WED

27

FRI

29

REASONS TO LEAVE THE HOUSE THIS WEEK

LAUGHING FOR JESUS JIM GAFFIGAN

OK, not. But he’s the Catholic King of Clean (and Hot Pockets, too), with an absurd sense of humor, his embarrassingly-close-to-home observations about eating habits (hello, fellow ranchdressing lovers), and what it’s like to be an “out” Christian comic. In 2015, The Jim Gaffigan Show star told NPR’s Terry Gross, “My faith is very personal.

It’s not something I want to project on other people.

But some of my fear and anxieties surrounding it … provide good comedy.” He talks about his own human experience in the Noble Ape Tour, 8 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 30, Veterans Memorial Arena, Downtown, $33-$67, jimgaffigan.com.

BLUES WOMAN HEATHER GILLIS REGAL RAT KINGS The late Butch Trucks was one of the founders of Wanee Fest and Gillis was among his most promising students.

She’s been praised for her stage presence, her energy and obvious talent. By all accounts she is—at age 22— just getting started, performing with her own band and the Freight Train Band, 10 p.m. Friday, Dec. 29, Mojo Kitchen, Jax Beach, $12, mojobbq.com.

GREAT RUSSIAN NUTCRACKER Drawing on G

ce centuries of tradition, complete with lavish costuming, ex exquisite attention to detail, and 10-foot-tall puppets, th this production (marking its 25th anniversary) takes us ba back in time, to the era of Winter Palaces, glittering jewels an and lushly embroidered satins and silks. The Moscow Ba Ballet performs the Great Russian Nutcracker, 3 & 7 p.m.

W Wednesday, Dec. 27, The Florida Theatre, Downtown, $3 $31.50-$178.50, floridatheatre.com.

WED

27

NEW HOLIDAY TRADITIONS DRIVE THRU HOLIDAY LIGHTS

Stuff your wagon full of sugared-up kiddos and tipsy adults (gotta get through the holidays somehow) and you soberly drive through a mile-plus of holiday lights synchronized with holiday music. It’s a magical experience the entire family is sure to love … from the comfort of that Subaru Forester, with candy-cane-sticky young’uns squirming out the windows. 6-9:30 p.m. Dec. 27-31, Morocco Shrine Center, Southside, jaxilluminations.com.

6 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 27, 2017-JANUARY 2, 2018

SAT

30

DECEMBER 27, 2017-JANUARY 2, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7

FOLIO VOICES : FIGHTIN’ WORDS JACKSONVILLE IS MAKING ITS PITCH FOR THE Amazon HQ2, just like every other city of comparable size and ambition.

Unique to the local pitch is what seems to be a dedication to an alternate reality. The unspoken assumption is that the Jacksonville that currently exists can’t make the sale.

The Jacksonville that gave us Ken Adkins and Roy Bay during the HRO debate, the one that gave us weeks of debate in City Council about the provenance of backing one’s car into one’s own driveway, the one where the murder rate continues to spike year after year, even though every single person running for office does so under the aegis of PUBLIC SAFETY—that place is not in the Amazon pitch video Mayor Lenny Curry spotlighted at a Jax Chamber luncheon.

What is there is a city that, if it existed, would be swell.

And maybe it does exist— somewhere else.

The accompanying music in the sales spiel could be from anywhere and nowhere all at once, but bears no resemblance to anything from Dirty Duval. It’s clean drum-machine patter, with a rhythm guitar that sounds like it emerged from the bowels of a synthesizer bank.

Jacksonville itself is “Amazon-centric”— whatever that means—with a “one-of-a-kind urban core campus and transit,” and an “inspired year-round coastal lifestyle.”

The urban core campus, of course, comprises 200 acres of “live, work and play” land at The Shipyards—an assertion that puts a lot of faith in environmental remediation and in Amazon site selectors not having Google Maps with that street view option.

And Jacksonville’s transit system?

Theoretically, one could call it “one of a kind.”

There are buses, yes, and the Skyway, with conceptual plans for expansion or revamp yet to come. But in terms of things like light rail—a concept many other cities have, and that this city should have embraced while expanding— we don’t have it. And we never will.

An inspired, year-round coastal lifestyle?

I live in Avondale, not too far from The Shipyards, and I personally find the traffic to the beach to be too much hassle to bother.

Not to mention the existential vistas of Atlantic Boulevard and, especially, Beach Boulevard—a 45-minute dystopian hellscape of jaywalkers and tacky, half-filled strip malls, with parking lots devoid of patrons but replete with vagrants. And speed traps, of course, assuming there isn’t a shoot-’em-up somewhere.

Jacksonville is also described as an “emerging city, inviting your partnership and social impact,” which is just sad—and false.

The idea of an “emerging city” makes no sense— Jacksonville has been here for decades and decades. The contra is true; the identity has actually been quite fixed for some time.

The city branded itself, five decades ago, as the Bold New City of the South. That was a reference to the consolidated model of government, rather than to anything substantial beyond that. In fact, what consolidation did do was to expand the city’s borders and diffuse political power concentrated in the Urban Core toward exurbs and suburbs—thus preserving the stranglehold the good ol’ boys had a few more decades.

If that hadn’t happened, Jacksonville could’ve been Atlanta! (And definitely would not be an ‘emerging city,’ especially at this late date, with bond ratings agencies like Moody’s noting the city’s choking on “high fixed costs,” money committed to things like pensions and bond issuances.)

And who is inviting Amazon’s “social impact”? Is it Empower Jacksonville, the group formed to overturn the watered-down expansion of the HRO this year? Or council candidates like “Earl Testy,” who claim women wouldn’t be sexually harassed if it weren’t for their “libidos”?

The voiceover is peak millennial, with no trace of a traditional Jacksonville accent, since regionalism has been drowned out by bullshit.

“Just like everyone in Jacksonville … your team members will love living here,” it asserts.

Really?

Tell that to the Northside dudes getting stopped and frisked for crossing the street.

Tell that to the folks in crumbling apartment complexes and to kids in schools so bad, they’re on the verge of becoming charters.

“Everyone” in this case is a certain subset: the kinds of people who can afford Cowford Chophouse and The River Club, the members of the establishment that fêtes itself endlessly.

The video also refers to the city’s “upstart downtown,” which still has occupancy issues, and issues with old buildings that won’t be renovated anytime soon and—let us not forget—a major employer (CSX) that just shed a good chunk of its jobs.

The Amazon pitch video is fiction. An aspirational model that this city will not reach.

A.G. Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com @AGGancarski

IDENTITY

CRISIS Nothing amazing about Jax AMAZON PITCH

8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 27, 2017-JANUARY 2, 2018

NEWS AAND NOTES: METROCHICKS EDITION TOP HEADLINES FROM THE ASSOCIATION OF ALTERNATIVE NEWSMEDIA BYGONE #METOOS

>

Nearly eight years ago, a sex scandal rocked the Marijuana Policy Project, which advocates non-punitive marijuana laws.

City Paper reports that then-executive director Rob Kampia had sex with a female subordinate after an employee happy hour; subsequently, seven employees, including the woman, resigned within two weeks.

All department heads sought Kampia’s resignation until Kampia told chief of staff and unofficial head of HR Alison Green that MPP’s largest funder would pull out if he left. Green switched sides and Kampia stayed on.

Fast-forward to present day. City Paper states Kampia has recently been recast as primarily working in fundraising and will no longer manage staff. Some ex-MPP staffers told City Paper the scandal and the company’s response haunts them still. Green, who left shortly after the scandal, has gone on to an extremely successful career as founder of the Ask a Manager workplace advice blog and national expert on workplace issues. Green told City Paper that standing behind Kampia is “the biggest regret” of her career. “Rob Kampia is a serial sexual harasser who has been allowed to stay in his position of power because he’s good at his work,” she reportedly said.

< FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR A QUEEN

An all-female fantasy football league in Cincinnati has added an interesting twist to league rules: No players who’ve been accused of abusing women are allowed, reports Cincinnati CityBeat. That’s right: If you play on She FF, you get no Ben Roethlisberger (twice accused of sexual assault), Joe Mixon (caught on camera punching a woman in the head), Ezekiel Elliott (accused of domestic violence), Tyreek Hill (pled guilty to domestic abuse charges for punching and choking his eight-weeks-pregnant girlfriend), and seven more players who’ve been banned from the league. The all-female editorial staff of Folio Weekly raises a fist in solidarity with She FF. You got it, Roger Goodell?

< ROOTS WITH WOMBS

The weeks after the November 2016 election were dark times for progressive women. Some wallowed, others vented on social media, and still others closed their eyes and waited for 2020. But the best reaction by far has been to organize and take charge. Pittsburgh City Paper caught up with some fearless gals who have taken the bull by the horns and joined the grassroots resistance. One such woman, Kitty Lagorio, said that after a period of self-blame and depression, she joined the uprising that includes thousands, possibly millions, of women nationwide.

Lagorio reportedly said, “I just knew that I had to do something. … I was just so angry. My mother went to jail in Germany for cursing Hitler, and so I made a sign saying ‘Damn you Trump.’” When a local judge conveniently retired the day before the deadline to file papers to run for the seat as a Democrat, and the only person to file was not only inexperienced, but found to have extensive links to said judge, Lagorio threw in with the independent who switched parties to challenge him. She knocked on doors and sent personal letters to perspective voters. In the end, the independent won. #Resist

< NEW MEANING TO JUNKET

Proving that workplace sexual harassment can come in unexpected packages, North Carolina’s Triad City Beat reports that Greensboro News & Record digital designer Kelly Young was accused of exposing his genitals to female colleagues in 2016 and 2017. Young, a proud Christian known to quote scripture, stands accused of approaching the women to discuss work matters; once he had their attention, he’d give the small (we assume) reveal.

TCB reports Young was fired in March 2017 after the second reported offense. On Dec. 13, he reportedly pled guilty to misdemeanor indecent exposure. “His sentence is court-ordered ‘counseling that involves treatment for sexual deviant behavior,’” TCB writes. Here’s a tip: Don’t EVER EVER show your colleagues your genitals.

DECEMBER 27, 2017-JANUARY 2, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9

I

n the bathroom at the smoky Wall Street in Five Points, Lindsay Anderson scatters copies of River City Raunch.

Her zine is filled with accounts of love and sex, true stories she’s collected from friends and strangers around Jacksonville. “It’s bathroom reading,” she jokes.

In the zine format, nothing is sacred. A type of selfpublished magazine, the zine (pronounced zeen) attracts artists of all trades due to the openness of its form—no rules, no censorship, no copyright. Anderson, however, honors Raunch’s intimate details by asking for permission to print the stories from those who shared them. As an editor with a “genuine respect” for her subjects and their feelings, she omits emotional parts to “get to the kernel” on the page.

Anderson was initially drawn to zines through early fandom of rock-’n’-roll. When she first decided to start editing a zine of her own, a friend told her that “speaking openly about sex in the South is the most punk rock thing you can do.” Anderson printed the first issues of Raunch guerilla-style on her former employer’s copier. Those issues took on the traditional zine format—cut-and-pasted layouts on black-and-white copied pages, assembled and stapled by Anderson herself. Today, she hopes to guide her readers, both on and off the commode, through the confusing terrain of love and sex. “Intimacy has been perverted and used for agendas to sell things,” she says. “I think people are kind of lost.”

The editions were originally called “fanzines,” and some say these independent publications originated in the early punk rock scene. Others claim that zines first cropped up when sciencefiction lovers self-published early fan fiction during the 1930s.

Anderson notes that her fandom contained in Raunch lies in intimacy itself. She hopes future generations will be able to learn more about Jacksonville and what it was like to love in 2017 by reading her work. She cites Howard Zinn’s A People’s History of the United States, Anne Frank’s diary, and similar works representatives of larger sections of history as strong influences.

Through her zine, Anderson feels that she has the capacity to create a record of history to pass on to future generations.

The Jacksonville Public Library is a strong stakeholder in the local scene. The Main Library’s zine collection is the first of its kind to exist in the Southeastern United States. This collection of thousands of zines, located in the Jax Makerspace, is a valuable asset to the city’s zine subculture as a whole. In addition to contributing her zine to the library’s collection, Anderson teaches zine-making workshops in Makerspace and was involved in the library’s inaugural Jax Book Fest in March.

At her workshops, she always reminds students that their ideas matter. “Whatever’s in your head,” she tells them, “put it on the page. Find value in your participation.”

Unlike commercial magazines filled with advertisements, the humble zine invites writers and artists to create for

10 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 27, 2017-JANUARY 2, 2018

the sake of creating. Some feel disconnected from the form and grow quite critical of its underground status. This may be the reason zinesters can’t expect to get rich from their work. “It’s hard to do a zine and be pretentious about it,” says Anderson.

“It’s more of an intrinsic motivator.”

Similar to American Revolution-era political pamphlets distributed for informational purposes, some zines contain strains of propaganda. Before they opened Coniferous Café in the heart of Downtown Jacksonville, founding members Siddie Friar and Avi (who asked to have his last name withheld) produced politically stirred zines. Once their collective located a manual for their 1972 printing press, they produced materials under the name Burnpile Press. These materials included political posters and zines like Stupid Isn’t Cool, Free Ourselves, and a lexicon of medical terminology. Avi wanted to make different perspectives, “specifically political perspectives,” available to the community.

Having distributed zines at protests and events prior to opening the café, both Friar and Avi now strive to bring zines to the public at their collective’s info-shop-turned-coffee shop.

Referring to zines as “literature for the masses,” Friar and the rest of the café team periodically host informal zine readalouds, to fuel conversation among patrons.

Coniferous Café offers an array of zines for purchase, including Johnny Masiulewicz’s The Happy Tapir. Instead of gathering stories from others, Masiulewicz delves into his memories for an autobiographical “per-zine,” or personal zine.

“I believe that everybody else should be as interested in my life as I am,” he says in jest.

In addition to producing a zine, Masiulewicz desires to become known as “the zine mogul of Jacksonville.” He assists fellow artists with zine production and distribution. His biggest influence as a zine maker has been the mere availability of other artists’ zines.

Jordan Hoover, editor of the motocross zine Document says of the extreme sports he is interested in “they’re all feelings,” and that making a zine gives him those same feelings of accomplishment.

At “a robust 52,” Masiulewicz feels encouraged by the revival of zines because they are familiar to him. He first got involved in the culture in ’80s Chicago, where he wrote a zine that reported on mall gossip during his employment at an ice cream parlor. Later, Masiulewicz printed zines, poetry chapbooks and single-page broadsides guerrilla-style. It took him decades and moving to Jacksonville to return to the zine form; he’s currently working on the next issue of Tapir. “It’s, like, ‘Thank God I didn’t throw away those parachute pants back then, because people are wearing parachute pants.’”

During the ’80s, two types of fanzines predominantly circulated in the Jacksonville area—music zines and skateboarding zines. “For reasons that are too complicated to explain,” says former zinester Mic Walker, “punk rock and skateboarding went hand-in-hand.” At age 14, Walker and his friend Todd Johnson started producing Rawhyde, a fanzine covering the local skating scene. The two friends skated together at Kona Skate Park regularly, and felt heavily influenced by big-name skateboarding magazines like Thrasher and TransWorld. Johnson was first attracted to the form as a way to engage with skating when he wasn’t able to skate. “At

CONTINUED NEXT PAGE >>>

DECEMBER 27, 2017-JANUARY 2, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11

One of Jacksonville’s most prolific poets, Johnny Masiulewicz, also publishes the zine, The Happy Tapir, a document dedicated to his life and musings.

zine scene

<<< FROM PREVIOUS

12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 27, 2017-JANUARY 2, 2018

night or if it’s raining or if you’re at work, you always have skating with you,” he says.

Aside from Skateboard, Kona’s own zine, Rawhyde was perhaps the only other skate zine produced in the area at the time. Johnson and Walker would often trade zines with readers through the mail. In 2010, Johnson published an anthology of every issue of Rawhyde in the form of a book. He feels that the material holds up in this digital age. “I don’t look at Rawhyde like a yearbook of when we were 15,” he says. “I look at it as who we are. I still skate, and the zine reminds me that I need to do it more.”

Jordan Hoover, editor of motocross zine Document, also finds a similarity between zine-making and engaging in extreme sports. “Skateboarding, surfing, motocross— they’re all feelings,” he says. “Making a zine gives me the same good, serious feeling of accomplishment.”

Hoover started printing Document in March to share his passion for international motocross. Though he achieved pro status as a motocross rider at age 20, he never competed on that level. “I started to realize that the racing was killing my love for the sport,” he says. Producing his zine quickly revived his adoration for motocross.

Even with three printed issues under his belt, Hoover still feels that he’s an outsider in the local zine scene. The idea of any type of “scene” in Jacksonville is often overshadowed by the spread-out nature of the city. When she first started editing River City Raunch, Anderson found positivity in this challenge.

“Some people come to a place and want something established already,” she says.

She’s found that Jacksonville’s scene, or lack thereof, presented the opportunity for her to start from scratch. In turn, her work is more original. Anderson feels encouraged by the potential to make the subculture whatever she wants it to be.

Mic Walker took a similar approach to the openness of local zines when he started making Rawhyde in 1985. “If you wanted to see a punk rock show, you put it on yourself,” he says. “If you wanted to be part of a skate contest, you organized one yourself. If you wanted to document your scene, you made your own zine.”

Masiulewicz finds that his writing opens up the more he’s around likeminded artists. “The best art feeds upon other artwork,” he says.

According to Kevin Calloway, cofounder of gallery SPACE 42, some early Jacksonville punk-rockers produced zines.

Since most were limited by expensive printing costs, though, zines that weren’t available at Einstein a Go Go’s, The Theory Shop or Kona Skate Park were difficult to track down. “You either had to know the zine writer,” says Calloway, “or know someone who knew them.”

Today, Calloway makes zines available for purchase in the pop-up shop at SPACE 42, in Riverside’s growing arts district. “Zines are the best independent magazines,” says Calloway.

“I hope everybody brings their zines here and puts them up for sale. If we have 40 bookshelves filled with zines, that means a lot of cool shit is happening in Jacksonville.”

But can a zine hold up in the age of the blog? “Anybody can blog,” says Calloway.

“Anybody can turn on a computer and spout off bullshit and post it. But people who make zines are true fans of whatever they’re

WHERE TO FIND ZINES IN JACKSONVILLE:

• CHAMBLIN’S UPTOWN 215 N. Laura St., Downtown • CHAMBLIN BOOKMINE 4551 Roosevelt Blvd., Ortega • CONIFEROUS CAFÉ 42 W. Monroe St., Downtown • JACKSONVILLE MAIN LIBRARY, FIRST FLOOR Jax Makerspace, 303 N. Laura St., Downtown • SPACE 42 2670 Phyllis St., Riverside making a zine about. You get passion and actual research when you read a zine. You get journalism.” He feels that printing and selling physical issues keeps zinesters from “pushing crap on people.”

Even though flimsy paper zines can crumple and wither away, the form remains popular among a wide array of artists.

Masiulewicz finds that the spirit of the zine sticks around longer than any blog. “Even though the blog is eternal,” he says, “people see it for a few days, and it disappears. You can do a deep search for it eventually, but in three weeks, no one’s going to remember it.”

As mortal as they are, zines somehow withstand the test of time. “The one I passed to Joe Blow at Art Walk last week is sitting on his shelf somewhere,” says Masiulewicz. “Five years from now, when he moves, he’s gonna be packing up his books and he’s gonna see it.

This tangible thing is eternal in our lifetime.

It’s concrete.”

Hurley Winkler mail@folioweekly.com @HurleyWink _____________________________________ Winkler co-writes the zine, Nickname, with Aysha Miskin.

FOLIO A + E D

ynamic local duo Flagship Romance can truly do it all.

Over the last four years, Shawn Fisher and Jordyn Jackson have effortlessly traveled among acoustic folk, country, pop and rock, independently recording, producing and releasing three crowdfunded albums (two full-lengths, one EP). The husband-wife team lives together, writes together, sings together, travels together and loves together, sharing a custom-built dual microphone stand and a reliable Subaru Outback they call Winston. Flagship Romance’s scope ranges near and far: while Fisher and Jackson specialize in the intimate living-room show, logging more than 150 of them across North America each year, their Clean Water Music Fest nonprofit has raised $125,000 for life-changing projects in Africa. Folio Weekly spoke with the duo as they crossed the Florida state line after six months on the road supporting sophomore album Tales from the Self-Help Section.

Folio Weekly: Welcome home!

Jordyn Jackson: Thanks! It felt like we never left. We’re excited about the homecoming celebration show. We’ll be performing new material we wrote on the road and a bunch of fan favorites, as well as telling a lot of stories.

FILM Cease Fire!

ARTS Henry Rollins

PG. 15

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CALENDAR

PG. 17

us firsthand the vast differences and underlying similarities we all have as human beings.

existed if we had gone down a different path, but I’m not sure we’d be as happy as we are now.

Are you happier taking that approach as opposed to, say, signing a major-label deal and blowing up overnight?

Jackson: We call it “taking the stairs instead of the elevator.” When the two of us met, we had both individually been spit out of the music industry machine.

Shawn was signed to a major label with his previous band and I was signed to a UK-based indie label for my jazz career.

We had both peeked behind the curtain, saw the gridlock, and experienced the inevitable loss of creative control. When we started making this music together, we asked, “How can we do the things we expected other people to do for ourselves?” Flagship Romance could have

How is 2017’s Tales from the Self-Help Section different from 2014’s Fee Fie Foh Fum? Jackson: Tales is the first album that consisted of songs either written or inspired by our experiences on the road.

Songs like “Garden” or “Big Sur” are deeper, more personal realizations that could’ve only been facilitated in a setting of constant movement. Others, like “Life Is a Song,” are literal retellings of stories that impacted us on tour in the summer of 2015. The Costco Jesus who lyrically appears in the first line of that song is a real dude. On Fee Fie Foh Fum, we created a raw, real record: vocals and guitar captured at the same time in full takes.

Jordyn Jackson and Shawn Fisher keep their FLAGSHIP ROMANCE rolling

THE DUO THAT PLAYS TOGETHER

STAYS TOGETHER

Nearly 70 percent of Flagship Romance’s shows are intimate house concerts. What’s that like as an artist?

Shawn Fisher: We realized we don’t have to be “famous” to have an impact on people. In Phoenix, a man told us that the music video for “Scare Yourself” led him to have a genuine conversation with his 16-year-old son for the first time. In Leesburg, Virginia, a young girl told us that same song was her anthem when she was gaining the courage to come out to her family and friends. Our stories and songs about mental illness have connected with countless individuals dealing with the same fears, anxieties and insecurities. Showing up at a stranger’s home on a daily basis to gather around the hearth of music and find our commonalities in real time has shown

PG. 14

With Tales, we teamed up with Lucio Rubino in St. Augustine to infuse each song with the same energy of our concerts while adding sonic textures.

The songs are emotional, aching, even scathing at times. Did you feel you had to write like that at this point in your career?

Fisher: A lot of them acted as genuine therapy. Tackling these incredibly personal and emotionally heavy topics together also brought Jordyn and me even closer together. I don’t think either of us felt like we had to be so vulnerable—it’s just where we come from. We wear our hearts on our sleeve, sometimes to a fault. We have gotten better at taking hyper-personal subjects and cracking them open slightly to make them more universally understood and relatable. However, music will always be a vehicle for us to find out more about ourselves. There are rarely times I feel more in my own skin than when I’m neck-deep in the sticky mud of piecing together melodies and lyrics.

You’re a married couple who writes, records, travels and performs together.

Do you ever need time apart?

Jackson: Very rarely. We love each other’s company and we’re best friends. We’re thankful that we get to live this life constantly by each other’s side. There are days right after a tour ends when all we want to do is stay in, binge-watch Rick & Morty, and order take-out. We seize those moments when needed.

What’s new for Flagship Romance in 2018?

Fisher: We’ll be performing on Cayamo, a weeklong singersongwriter cruise with 4,000 music lovers and headliners like John Prine, Brandi Carlile, Patty Griffin, Lee Ann Womack and John Paul White, in February. Also, at the end of our last sixmonth tour, we went to the Sonic Ranch studio outside of El Paso and recorded a new full-length album. We’re keeping it close to the chest for now, but it will be released in 2018.

Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly.com

FLAGSHIP ROMANCE with AIX-HUSBAND

8 p.m. Dec. 30, Jack Rabbits, free, 398-7496, jaxlive.com

DECEMBER 27, 2017-JANUARY 2, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 13

FOLIO A+E : MAGIC LANTERNS

WAR IN REAL TIME

PERFORMANCE

THE MARVELOUS WONDERETTES Four girls in 1958 Springfield, with hopes and dreams as big as their crinoline skirts, form a group. See what unfolds at their 10-year reunion! Opens Jan. 3, runs through Feb. 4, Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $49.95-$57, 641-1212, alhambrajax.com.

SPOKEN WORD TRAVEL SLIDESHOW Henry Rollins returns to the First Coast with images he’s taken from his international travels. But it’s not like watching your cousin’s first SCUBA adventure; this will surely highlight Rollins’ concerns from politics to personal confessions, plus reasonably funny jokes, 7 p.m. Jan 1, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., $33-$43, pontevedraconcerthall.com.

MICHAEL CARBONARO LIVE! From hit TV series The Carbonaro Effect, magician Carbonaro brings a signature blend of bizarre antics, audience interaction and mindblowing magic to NEFLa 8 p.m. Dec. 29, The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., $29-$59.50, floridatheatre.com.

MOSCOW BALLET’S GREAT RUSSIAN NUTCRACKER The holiday classic is presented by one of the world’s most beautiful and rigorous ballet troupes. The New York Times calls the production a “knockout” … imagine how glorious those sugar plum fairies will look in Russian-styled tutus. 7 p.m. Dec. 27, Florida Theatre, floridatheatre.com, $31.50-$178.50.

CALLS & WORKSHOPS

AUDITION: MAN OF LA MANCHA Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre auditions for the play-within-a-play 11 a.m. Jan. 6, Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, abettheatre.com.

MONUMENTAL AT THE ART CENTER Art submissions, all mediums, no larger than 3 feet by 5 feet, horizontal or vertical, are received Jan. 2-9, notification of unaccepted work Jan. 10; pickup Jan. 10 & 11; opening reception Jan. 11, at 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, tac.org.

COMMUNITY FOUNDATION FOR NORTHEAST FLORIDA Grant opportunities are available for those serving young children, for individual professional artists to elevate their work and organizations serving at-risk and underserved populations at or near the Jacksonville-area Beaches, applications due Jan. 10-March 5, depending on grant, jaxcf.org.

JURIED ARTIST MEMBERS EXHIBITION 2018 The Cultural Center at Ponte Vedra Beach accepts entries for JAME Jan. 22; works judged and notifications made Jan. 23.

50 Executive Way, 280-0614, ccpvb.org.

SANTA FE COLLEGE The college seeks artists for its annual springtime arts celebration; $25 to apply, Dec. 31 deadline; raul.villarreal@sfcollege.edu, zapplication.org.

JACKSONVILLE MINI-MAKER FAIRE Groups or individuals may present projects, hobbies, experiments for the MOSH-sponsored event. Deadline Feb. 28, jacksonvillemakerfaire.com.

OVERSET

Compelling Cease Fire! is a PROPAGANDISTIC LOOK at the Korean Conflict

W

hen it comes to war movies, and American ones specifically, the Korean War (1950-’53) remains “the forgotten war.”

Just try to name five memorable films about the conflict (never officially declared a war) off the top of your head. I suspect you’ll validate the sad truth. On the other hand, if asked to name five major films about World War I, WWII or the Vietnam War (also a conflict), I suspect true cinephiles wouldn’t hesitate too long.

It’s not really a matter of numbers, in casualties or film productions. Vietnam cost 58,000 American lives; the much-shorter Korean conflict toted up 33,000. American films dealing with Korea add up to about 47; for Vietnam, the number is almost double.

Of those 47 movies, some of the best are two by Samuel Fuller (Fixed Bayonets, The Steel Helmet); Pork Chop Hill directed by the great Lewis Milestone, Oscar-winner for All Quiet on the Western Front; and The Bridges at Toko-Ri, with William Holden and Grace Kelly. John Frankenheimer’s The Manchurian Candidate and Robert Altman’s M*A*S*H (based on Richard Hooker’s novel) aren’t really war movies in the traditional sense, but still classics.

Just the dialog in M*A*S*H (“Goddamn army”) and its blatant depiction of marijuana use among the troops make it a standout.

In a category all by itself, however, is one of the most forgotten films about “the forgotten War.” Just restored to its original 3D aspect and out on DVD and Blu-ray, Cease Fire!

(1953) was filmed entirely in South Korea as the conflict wound down, the interminable peace talks at Panmunjon dragging on as soldiers continued to die.

Most cast members are non-actors, actual G.I.s pulled off the lines to play their fictional counterparts. Rather than special effects and staged explosions, the gunfire and ordnance were the real thing—authenticity was both the goal and the medium.

Owen Crump, who’d written and produced several documentaries for the military during WWII, sold the idea for Cease Fire! to powerhouse producer Hal Wallis who, with movies like Casablanca, The Maltese Falcon, Yankee Doodle Dandy and The Adventures of Robin Hood to his credit, was a venerable starmaker. The U.S. Department of Defense—eager to sell what was a confusing, unpopular conflict to the American public—offered its full support.

Walter Doniger (“Tokyo Joe”) was brought in to fashion a script from Crump’s original concept. The story is of a squad of 14 men selected to hoof it to “Red Top Hill” (based on the infamous Pork Chop Hill, where 104 soldiers died) in order to verify the rumored approach of a Chinese unit. Included prominently in the squad are an African American and a Korean scout, their presence meant to show the “New Army” that President Harry Truman had ordered to end racial discrimination in the U.S. military.

ARTS + EVENTS

The soldiers are listed as cast members; their fictional characters bear their real-life names. One of them, Pfc. Carrasco, is ‘killed’ toward the film’s end. Tragically and ironically, after filming was complete, Ricardo Carrasco (one of the best non-actors in the movie) returned to his unit and was killed in the second battle of Pork Chop Hill, along with 242 other Americans.

The soldiers in the movie were the real thing, but none was a professional actor—and it shows. Their voices were later dubbed in, but the performances are wooden. The efforts of the filmmakers to sound authentic (the film certainly looks authentic) were further impeded by the MPAA Production Code Administration, which stupidly demanded some of the offensive language (three hells and one damn) be amended to receive its Seal of Approval. As a consequence, the real-life soldiers playing movie soldiers use “darn” and “dang,” which must have amused the hell out of audiences, particularly veterans.

The film’s ending focuses on a newborn Korean baby whose father, the squad’s scout, is killed as his wife gives birth. The filmmakers’ intent about the worth and value of the bloody struggle is heartfelt and obvious. Given the tensions in Korea today, those sentiments seem incredibly apt and bitterly ironic.

The merits and ambition of Cease Fire! more than outweigh its deficiencies. Thanks to the folks at 3-D Film Archive, Cease Fire! looks terrific. You can watch it in 2D, but 3D fanatics (like me) should see it the way it was filmed.

No longer relegated to the dustbin, Cease Fire! is a terrific life-lesson film.

Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com

NOW SHOWING THE NUT JOB 2: NUTTY BY NATURE This animated comedy stars the vocal skills of Will Arnett, Maya Rudolph, Bobby Cannavale, Gabriel Iglesias, Jeff Dunham, Jackie Chan and Laraine Newman, screening 6 p.m. Dec. 29 at Mayport Beacon Theater, 245 Baltimore St., MWR Naval Station Mayport, free admission, 270-5145, navymwrmayport.com.

SUN-RAY CINEMA Star Wars: The Last Jedi and Downsizing screen. I, Tonya starts Jan. 5. 1028 Park St., 359-0049, sunraycinema.com.

CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ The Square and Killing of a Sacred Deer screen. Throwback Thursday runs Scent of a Woman (hoorah!), noon Dec. 28 and 4 p.m. Dec. 31. 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 697-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com.

IMAX THEATER Star Wars: The Last Jedi and Amazon Adventure screen. St. Augustine, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com.

14 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 27, 2017-JANUARY 2, 2018

CLASSICAL + JAZZ

LES DEMERLE TRIO The big band leader guides a tight group of jazz-heads 6-9 p.m. Dec. 27-29 & 31, Horizons Restaurant, 5472 First Coast Hwy., Fernandina, $15, horizonsameliaisland.com.

THE INEXTINGUISHABLE SYMPHONY IN 60 A concert preceded by snacks and drinks (included in ticket price), 5:30 p.m.

Jan. 4, Jacoby Symphony Hall, $35, jaxsymphony.org.

TCHAIKOVSKY’S PIANO CONCERTO A dramatic program starts with Robert Schumann’s moving Manfred Overture followed by Chinese pianist Zhang Zuo playing the piano concertos, ending with Carl Nielsen’s spirited Fourth Symphony, 8 p.m. Jan. 5 & 6, Jacoby Symphony Hall, $21-$82, jaxsymphony.org.

MATTHEW HALL The pianist performs every Thur., Fri. & Sat. at Corner Bistro/Glass Hat Piano Bar & Grill, 9823 Tapestry Park Cir., Southside, 619-1931.

COMEDY

JIM GAFFIGAN The comic talks about his life experiences (food, kids, exercise pitfalls and his Catholic faith) in his Noble Ape Tour, 8 p.m. Dec. 30, Veterans Memorial Arena, Downtown, $33-$67, jimgaffigan.com.

ANTWAN MURPHY One of our own funny folks takes the stage, 8 p.m. Dec. 28, The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-4277, $23-$33, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

JAX FINEST PT. 2 Featuring host Antwan Murphy and comics Holly Landrum, TellitlikeitTIZ, Leroy Gordon and Tez Brooks; followed by DJ Bennie Blade for the Ol’ Skool Last Friday After Party, 8 p.m. Dec. 29, The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 646-4277, $28-$48, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

ALYCIA COOPER The Last Comic Standing and America’s Got Talent alum tackles topics from politics to fighting on social media and a crazy uncle, 7:30 p.m. Dec. 30, The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 646-4277, $18-$33, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

FRED’S ALL STAR COMEDIANS The best local comics from NEFLa! Laughs with a local slant, The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 646-4277, $10, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

RUSS NAGEL Nagel, aka America’s Funniest Biker, riffs on family, marriage, travel, current events and motorcycle humor. Really. 7:30 p.m. Dec. 28, 29 & 30, The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, $15-$18, 292-4242, comedyzone.com.

ART WALKS + MARKETS

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Live music plus food, artists, and a farmer’s row, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Dec. 30 under the Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com.

ST. AUGUSTINE AMPHITHEATRE FARMERS MARKET Veggies, flowers, baked goods, handmade arts & crafts, a community booth, live music by the Free Rangers and more, 8:30 a.m.12:30 p.m. Dec. 30, 1340C A1A S., staugamphitheatre.com.

Admission, parking free.

FERNANDINA BEACH FARMERS MARKET Every Sat., 9 a.m.-1 p.m., year round, rain or shine. North Seventh Street, Fernandina, fernandinamarketplace.com.

MUSEUMS

CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 29 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummermuseum.org. A Collector’s Eye: Celebrating Joseph Jeffers Dodge, and Mediterranea: American Art from the Graham D. Williford Collection, through Feb. 4. Bijoux Parisiens: French Jewelry from the Petit Palais, through Jan. 7.

MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911, mocajacksonville.unf.edu. Juan Fontanive Lopez’s Movement 4 is the atrium project. Call & Response, through April 1.

MANDARIN MUSEUM & HISTORICAL SOCIETY 11964 Mandarin Rd., mandarinmuseum.net. Civil War era artifacts recovered from the Union steamship Maple Leaf, items related to Harriet Beecher Stowe, a World War I exhibit, and displays related to the only remaining one-room schoolhouse in Duval County.

MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY 1025 Museum Cir., Southbank, 396-MOSH, themosh.org. Ancient Rome: Epic Innovators & Engineers! shows artifacts and ancient technology through December. African Americans in WWII runs through December.

THE RITZ THEATRE & MUSEUM 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 807-2010. Making Do: The African & Gullah GeeChee Connection exhibits through Jan. 12.

GALLERIES

JEWISH COMMUNITY ALLIANCE 8505 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 730-2100, jcajax.com. New figurative works

by Meghan Welch explore concepts and themes related to childhood in rural Florida. On view until Jan. 3.

MAGICALLY HILARIOUS

Magician MICHAEL CARBONARO brings his wacky weirdness to The Florida Theatre’s stage, 8 p.m.

Dec. 29, Downtown, $29-$59.50, floridatheatre.com.

FOLIO A+E : ARTS Rollins returns to Northeast Florida, bringing THE WHOLE WORLD along

OH,

HENRY! A

uthor, actor, musician, modern-day sage: It’s hard to express in words just how influential Henry Rollins has been to American culture in the almost 40 years since he roared out of Washington, D.C. as the fourth and finest singer for the seminal LA punk band Black Flag. It was in that capacity that he first appeared in Northeast Florida, plowing through the legendary Milk Bar on Jan. 29, 1986. Three decades on, he’s back in one of his periodic visits, escorting 2018 in with a spoken-word show at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall on New Year’s Day. For the last few years, Rollins has hosted the Henry & Heidi podcast, and written a column for LA Weekly—he abruptly ended that activity a few weeks ago in solidarity with staff members (including former Folio Weekly scribe Gwynedd Stuart) who were summarily fired by its new owners. All the while, he’s continued running his 2.13.61 Inc. publishing company, popping up regularly on screens large and small. He’s appeared on 41 albums, published about 40 books and performed in dozens of films, but his artistry finds its truest essence when it’s just the man on stage, alone with a microphone.

Always an ardent traveler (arguably Anthony Bourdain’s predecessor), Rollins has taken his camera everywhere with him, in the process becoming a skilled photographer. In this current tour, he narrates a slideshow of key moments en route to anywhere, in classic Rollins fashion, diverging and digressing into tales of a life spent on the road. As he approaches his 57th birthday, Rollins’ eyes still burn with an intensity that can be intimidating even from the relative safety of cyberspace.

He’s a kinder, gentler, more cuddly Rollins now, a guy who goofs around with kids and eats chicken wings in internet videos, but there’s no reason to believe the man with the “Search and Destroy” tattoo on his back is not fully capable of doing just that, if need be. To say he’s an icon is an understatement; it’s also a cliché, and that doesn’t fly with him.

Rollins gamely exchanged emails with Folio Weekly in a lengthy correspondence, which is presented here, in slightly edited form. (A few readers’ questions were also added, for flavor.)

Folio Weekly: You’ve been writing a column in recent years. Was that process different, mentally, than writing you’ve done in the past? Did you enjoy doing that kind of work?

Henry Rollins: I liked having a deadline and an obligation to send in 1,000 words every week. I think it helped me become a better writer. The process was more disciplined than what I usually do, which has no real deadline and no one I have to prove my material to.

How did you find out about the LA Weekly firings? Does it make any sense to you?

I was told about the firings when I got two emails from my bosses there, telling me they had just been fired. It makes sense that if you’re a new group of owners that seem to have a much different political view than the overall posture of the paper, then you’ll be asking a lot of people to clear out their desks. The new owners asked me to stay on but I left. I miss my job for sure but there was no way I could stay after so many good people had been let go.

Do you plan on taking the column to another publication?

Actually, I have not given it all that much thought. I have been getting some offers, which was surprising, but I started that column years ago only when some people who worked at LA Weekly asked me to. I don’t consider it something that I can do anything with. I wrote 359 columns for LA Weekly.

Then I left. I don’t think it’s anything that anyone’s going to miss.

What was your favorite thing you ate in 2017?

I honestly don’t notice food. I just eat it quickly and get back to what I was doing before.

What do you think of net neutrality? How does it affect independent artists like you?

I’m surprised that the internet has been as open and [accessible] as it has been for this long.

You would figure someone would try to break it into pieces and own it. I don’t think, for as much as America talks about it, that we’re that much into freedom. I can’t think that a change to what’s been the norm will have an effect on me or what I do. My worry is that companies will be able to influence and limit people’s access to information, which is what they’re after. Ultimately, they want to be able to sell to you what they want. The pro-net neutrality people say it’s all about freedom and choice.

When I hear that, I know it’s a scam.

Do you remember a band called Hetchy Hetchy that was on Texas Hotel Records?

(Ian Chase says hello!)

Hetch Hetchy. I remember … Michael Stipe’s sister Lynda was in it. I have a tape of the sessions for the Make Djibouti record Michael sent me when they made it. I haven’t played it in many years, but remembered thinking they were good.

Is there any way to buy any of the old Rollins Band albums on Texas Hotel Records?

I think most of those records are long out of print. It’s not my label, so I don’t know what happened to it.

How often have fans asked you to play The Punisher on TV or in film? Does it bother you?

I’ve been asked that at least five times in my life. That’s not the kind of thing that would ever bother me.

Are there any circumstances under which you would consider a return to music, even temporarily?

Perhaps if there was someone I really wanted to work with, who wanted to work with me but, really, it’s not anything I think about.

For me, music was a thing I did until I didn’t.

At no time have I ever considered myself an artist or a musician. Also, for me, it was about how hard I could hit it. If I can’t hit it harder than I did before, I have no interest in going back to it. The last thing I want to do is play old songs. That would be too sad.

With the current wave of news about sexual harassment/assault by public figures, what are some steps men can take to be better, to correct not just their behavior but their way of thinking in general and, more specifically, in the sphere of music and performing arts?

It’s not a current wave. It’s something that’s been happening without cessation in any place where there is power. There is no wave, to say all of a sudden there’s all this harassment going on. What’s different is more women are speaking out. Women have been suffering appalling treatment in every place you can imagine for centuries.

I think things need to evolve. First, men need to see there are consequences for their actions. That jobs will be lost and reputations will be destroyed. After that, men start learning that harassment/assault is just not something you do. All this will take a long time and there will always be men doing this kind of thing. The “current wave” aspect of all this is brave women standing up. Of course, they’re getting death threats and whatever else, but they’re standing up nonetheless.

You’ve done so much over the years, in so many creative fields. Are there any specific paths and projects you’re interested in pursuing in the future?

Actually, I’ve never really thought about it all that much. I’ve never had a big plan. I’m just an opportunist. That is to say, I look for opportunities to do interesting things. I do make small plans, places I’d like to go, writing projects I’d like to execute and complete, things like that.

I wish I had a better answer but honestly, I’ve kind of been wandering for the last few decades.

For me, it’s all work. Right now, I’m working on a film in Luxembourg. Before that, I was in Vancouver working on a pilot; after the end of December, I’ll be on tour. I’m just doing stuff, trying to stay active. In a few years, I’ll be dead, so it’s a little too late to start a career.

If the Henry Rollins of today were to magically meet the Rollins of, say, 1981, how do you think that interaction would play out?

Are there any burning questions you had about yourself then that you’ve subsequently found answers to? What advice, if any, would you give your younger self?

When I was younger, I didn’t understand how faulty my brain was and how many short circuits dominated my overall thought process. When I was younger, I was continually frustrated by how words would just blurt out of me, seemingly with no control, and how no matter how hard I tried, I was unable to fit in or do what other people did. If I were to advise

CONTINUED NEXT PAGE >>> DECEMBER 27, 2017-JANUARY 2, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15

ARTS + EVENTS THE ART CENTER Jacksonville Landing, tacjacksonville.org.

Art at Anthem Lakes, a selection of TAC artists’ works on display through Feb. 27, at 905 Assisi Lane, Atlantic Beach.

BREW 5 POINTS 1024 Park St., Riverside, chipsouthworth.com.

Hack in the USA-R new work by Chip Southworth, through Jan. 1.

THE CULTURAL CENTER AT PONTE VEDRA BEACH 50 Executive Way, 280-0614, ccpvb.org. Memories in the Making, works by artists with dementia, on display through Jan. 17. A pop-up artisans market runs through Jan. 12, with works by (among others) Amy Dove, Susan Daly, Francesca Tabor-Miolla, Tim Bullard, Bill & Jon Slade, Johan Mejia, Karen Bullard, Claire Kendrick, Cristina Zandomenego and (one of our favorite local ceramicists) Kyiaki Karalos.

HASKELL GALLEY Jacksonville International Airport. Cafcules, Middleton & Walburn shows through January.

RAIN DOGS 1045 Park St., Riverside. Funny, It’s Not Funny, new works by Tony Rodrigues, is up through January.

ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., 824-2310, staaa.org. Fantastic Florida, Selections from the STAAA Permanent Collection and Emmett Fritz: A Centennial Collection, display through December.

SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 1 Independent Dr., Wells Fargo Building, Downtown. December’s guest artist is Stephanie Cafcules.

SPACE 42 2670 Phyllis St., Riverside, 888-421-9222, spacefortytwo.com. Dream/Sueño/Rêve, installation by John Carr and Estée Ochoa, through January; UNF Student Ceramics Show displays through January.

THE VAULT at 1930 1930 San Marco Blvd., 398-2890, thevaultat1930.com. Art from Around the World, Susan Astleford’s new works, is on display.

WOLF & CUB 205 N. Laura St., Downtown, wolfandcubjax. com. For the Love of Munny, an exhibit of vinyl toys named “Munny,” is on display. Each collectable toy is designed, painted, destructed and created by Jax-based artists; through January.

NYE BASHES, PARTIES + SOIRÈES

COWFORD CHOPHOUSE TOAST Fireworks, gorgeous views and a spectacular New Year’s Eve celebration, including Grey Goose cocktails (open bar) and midnight champagne toast are featured, 9:30 p.m. Cowford Chophouse, 101 E. Bay St., Downtown, $152.50, cowfordchophouse.ticketleap.com.

A ROARING NEW YEAR’S EVE It’s The Volstead’s fourth anniversary, celebrated with sounds by The Rub, signature cocktails, and a free champagne toast at the stroke of midnight! 9 p.m. at 115 W. Adams St., Downtown, $80-$300, 414-3171.

GET GILDED New Year’s Eve at the Lightner Museum! If you’re of a shimmering turn of mind, join the band Ramona for light bites, a champagne toast, balloon drop, cash bar and dancing, 9:30 p.m., 75 King St., St. Augustine, $50, 824-2874.

MASQUERADE BASH After the Bomb Baby, and other killer acts, a buffet (black-eyed peas, collard greens, Azar sausage and cornbread), and a backyard, what could be easier fun?

Costumes encouraged; the best mask wins a bar tab. 7 p.m., Nighthawks, 2952 Roosevelt Blvd., Riverside, $10.

TUX N TAILS Black Tie Masquerade at Myth Nightclub: four rooms of sound, multilevel party access, international DJs, dancers, performers, cash, prizes and a breakfast buffet at 1 a.m. Fun starts at 5 p.m., Myth Nightclub, Downtown, $28-$70.68, mythexperience.com.

EASY BREEZY Breezy Jazz Club’s inaugural New Year’s Eve Extravaganza features the incomparable Doug Carn and Gwen Redding (Otis Redding’s distant cousin) bring in 2018 in grand style. Raffles, giveaways and more, plus a champagne toast at midnight! 9:30 p.m., Breezy Jazz Club, 119 W. Adams St., Downtown, 666-7562, $35-$60, breezyjazzclub.com.

CARVE NEW YEAR’S EVE CELEBRATION Jacksonville’s first craft vodka is throwing a big bash at the beach! This is their third annual oceanfront event and the Jaguars’ official DJ, Billy Parry, keeps the party going. 8 p.m., 831 N. First St., Jax Beach, 372-0444, $100-$130, carvevodka.com.

NEW YEAR’S EVE AT THE LOFT & ROGUE Hosted by DJ Wes Reed, the King Street District is a great place to ring in 2018 (and fold 2017 up like the old news it is). Party favors, a balloon drop, a midnight champagne toast, two venues and all the dancing you need! 8 p.m. The Loft & Rogue, 925 King St., Riverside, price TBA. TWO WAYS TO CELEBRATE 2018 You can VIP it up, or Lounge It Out with Hobnob at Unity Plaza this year (end). Decide if you prefer a five-course meal with the option to hang out, hear the Be Easy band afterward or do heavy apps and a premium open bar all night. Both options have a champagne toast at midnight! Options start 6:45 p.m., 220 Riverside Ave., $65-$75, 904tix.com.

BLACK & WHITE MASQUERADE BALL The New Year’s Eve Black & White Masquerade Ball features food, an open bar, live music by Papa Sol, dancing and fireworks at 9 p.m. at The Ritz-Carlton, 4750 Amelia Island Parkway. Admission $250. Black and white attire encouraged. Masks provided.

277-1100, ritzcarlton.com.

NEW YEAR’S EVE SHRIMP DROP Decades Band plays, food, vendors and a shrimp drop at 7 p.m., followed by fireworks. It all starts 5 p.m. Downtown Fernandina Beach, fbfl.us.

FLYING IGUANA NYE Dance it out with The J Crew Band and welcome the New Year with a chilled shot of premium tequila! 10 p.m. at 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, flyingiguana.com.

FIONN MacCOOL’S NYE PARTY Say goodbye to 2017 and fáilte to 2018 with live music, great food and drink and a fireworks display at midnight! 6 p.m., Jacksonville Landing, fionmacs.com.

NEW YEAR’S EVE RIVER BASH Awesome views of the fireworks on the balcony or dance the night away, enjoy light bites and free-flowing champagne. 9 p.m. Jacksonville Landing, $100, jacksonvillelanding.com.

NYE 2018 CELEBRATION Three options for max fun. NYE 2018 Celebration 1: prime rib & crab leg buffet dinner 6:30 p.m., GiGi’s Restaurant next door, Russ Nagel comedy show Mandarin Ballroom, with a DJ, party favors, midnight champagne toast, $79. Celebration 2: Same fun stuff, starts 8:30 p.m., $79. Celebration 3: Blast Off Show & Dancing includes much the same, costs $49, starts 9 p.m., The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., 292-4242, comedyzone.com.

SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL Live music by Hupp, Chase, Savanna & Cassidy 2 p.m., JC, Chase & Mike 3 p.m., Milltown Road 9 p.m., dinner package, midnight champagne toast and party favors, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., Fernandina, 277-6652, slidersseaside.com.

PROHIBITION KITCHEN The Gala features live music by MJ Baker and Chillula, champagne and an aerialist; VIP available; $20 at door. Starts 10 p.m., 119 St. George St., St. Augustine, 209-5704, prohibitionkitchenstaugustine.com.

RAGTIME TAVERN & GRILL 7 Street Band performs for the party, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877.

NEW YEAR’S EVE CELEBRATION The VIP party includes dinner, show, dancing, champagne split, party favors & countdown; general admission has the same, minus dinner.

DC Young Fly, Alycia Cooper, Antwan Murphy, Mojo Roux Band, JR Roberts and Carol Bristow-Zur are featured; DJ Bennie Blade afterparty. Starts 8 p.m., The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., 646-4277, $65-$105, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

WHISKEY JAX Boogie Freaks play for NYE, 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy., Jax Beach, 853-5973; North of 40 plays 8:30 p.m., 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Southside, 634-7208, whiskeyjax.com.

BEACH BLAST OFF 2018 The 11th annual celebration features fireworks, food, champagne, beer and wine, kids’ zone, carnival rides, live music by Slang, Old Enough 2 Know Better, Hit Parade; more, 6-10 p.m. at St. Augustine Beach Pier, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., free, sabevents.com WINTER DISCOVERY CAMPS Kindergartners through fifthNOTORIOUS NYE Don your slammin-est outfit and join DJ Nick graders can discover wonders of science and the natural Fresh (a 2017 winner of FW’s “Best of Jax” readers poll) as world at Museum of Science & History, Southbank, details at he spins the best tunes of the ’90s, Root Down pours craft themosh.org. cocktails, and contests and raffles are featured, 10 p.m. at ANNUAL HOLIDAY TRAINS Model trains of all kinds are on 600 King St., Riverside, $100, eventbright.com. display. Dec. 22 for Polar Express; Dec. 29 for Military Trains, NYE ORCHESTRAL LUNACY Internationally acclaimed Tomáš at MOSH, themosh.org.

Kubínek performs with hilarity and charm in a work of grand ZOOLIGHTS The Jacksonville Zoo is decked out for the holiday music, at the year-ending (and year-beginning) show with the season with millions of twinkling lights! 6-9:30 p.m. through Jacksonville Symphony, 9 p.m. Dec. 31, T-U Center’s Jacoby Jan. 6, $8-$15, jacksonvillezoo.org.

Symphony Hall, 300 Water St., Downtown, $30-$100 (does not NIGHTS OF LIGHTS Millions of twinkling lights cover St. include afterparty), jaxsymphony.org.

Augustine nightly through January. See Old Town by trolley, on NEW YEAR’S EVE AT THE ALHAMBRA Champagne reception foot or in a horse and carriage. floridahistoriccoast.com. _________________________________________ and hors d’oeuvres, three-course table-served surf & turf dinner, midnight champagne toast and balloon drop and the To list an event, send time, date, location (street address, famous midnight breakfast buffet featuring Philip Bauer city), admission price, contact number to print to (he of The Legend of Johnny Cash acclaim) and live music Madeleine Peck Wagner; email madeleine@folioweekly.

by Crescendo Amelia Big Band are featured. Formal attire com or mail 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL requested; 6:30 p.m. Alhambra Theatre & Dining, Southside, 32202. Items run as space is available. Deadline noon 641-1212, $129, albambrajax.com.

Wed. for next Wed. printing.

16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 27, 2017-JANUARY 2, 2018

EVENTS

: ARTS OVERSET FOLIO A+E

OH, HENRY!

<<< FROM PREVIOUS

my younger self, I would tell him that he was in for a very hard and often infuriating and humiliating time and to get ready to work very hard and have little to show for it.

How do you find your voice when you’ve been programmed to believe you don’t have one? (from Christina Boykin) I understand that you can feel that you have no voice. Humans are easy to shut down, especially when you’re young. It happens all the time. I used to be like that when I was young. Punk rock turned all that around for me. When I heard Joe Strummer, I lost a lot of fear. All those years were basically a loaded slingshot being drawn back. When I freed myself, all of those years turned into a propellant, which I’m still in now. It’s easy to say that all you need to do is stop being afraid, stand up, etc. Not easy to do. However, you absolutely can and you must. You’ll be fine.

What is your favorite King Crimson song? (from Jay Stamper) “21st Century Schizoid Man” Is punk dead? (from Robert Miller) I think as long as people keep playing the records and going to shows, it’s alive and well.

Where is your favorite library? (Emily Rose Egersdorf)

HENRY ROLLINS TRAVEL SLIDESHOW SPOKEN WORD TOUR 8 p.m. Jan. 1, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, $33-$43, pvconcerthall.com

My favorite would be the one at Wisconsin and R Street in Washington, D.C. I used to spend hours there. It never ceased to amaze me that I was allowed to be in this big building with all those books. In the summer, before I was working all the time, I would go there a few days a week and read. Besides that library, I have one of my own that I like very much.

What is the next country you plan to visit that you haven’t yet visited? (from Nick Wagner) That’s a good question. I was in Peru, Manila in the Philippines and Taipei in Taiwan this year. As to where to go next, I would like to go back to Mongolia. I’m in Luxembourg at the moment and if I didn’t have a tour to prepare for, I would’ve gone to Iceland from here to check it out.

I would like to get to New Guinea. I would like to go back to Antarctica.

How do you feel about misinformation in today’s media? (from Logan Taylor) I think when you have ratings-based media and a free-for-all blogger media, a lot of nonfacts can get pulled into the mix. If you have to lie to get somewhere, it’s too bad for all the people who fall in with you. The news is now often mere content, sometimes bordering on “for entertainment purposes only.”

Thankfully, there’s a lot of good journalists out there, but you have to be careful with what you consume.

Shelton Hull mail@folioweekly.com

Bluesmen N.W. IZZARD (Nicholas Izzard, Tyler Watts, Nathan Ranew) toss in funk and pop, 9:30 p.m. Dec. 29 at Surfer the Bar, Jax Beach.

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK

LEELYN OSBORNE, COOKIN’ IN DA KITCHEN 6 p.m. Dec. 27, Prohibition Kitchen, 119 St. George St., St. Augustine, 209-5704.

BLURG/GILT 7 p.m. Dec. 27, Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $8.

THE FIREWATER TENT REVIVAL 9 p.m. Dec. 28, Cheers Park Avenue, 1138 Park Ave., Orange Park, 269-4855.

ERIC COLETTE 6 p.m. Dec. 28, Boondocks Grill & Bar, 2808 Henley Rd., Green Cove Springs, 406-9497.

PVRK: TRIBUTE TO CHESTER BENNINGTON 8 p.m. Dec. 28, 1904 Music Hall, 19 N. Ocean St., Downtown, 1904musichall.com, $10.

HINESITE 8 p.m. Dec. 28, Whiskey Jax, 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy., Jax Beach, 853-5973.

DANIELLE EVA JAZZ DUO, LIVE HART 6 p.m. Dec. 28, Prohibition Kitchen.

JERROD ALLEN, HERE COMES THE HERO, KELLY WHITE 8 p.m.

Dec. 29, Jack Rabbits, $8.

LEE BLAKE 7 p.m. Dec. 28, Boondocks Grill & Bar. BRYAN HAYES 8:30 p.m. Dec. 29, Breezy Jazz Club, 119 W. Adams St., 666-7562.

JONATHAN LEE 10 p.m. Dec. 29, Boondocks Grill & Bar. DONNA THE BUFFALO 8 p.m. Dec. 29, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., 209-0399, $25 advance, $28 day of.

MIKE SHACKELFORD BAND 7:30 p.m. Dec. 29, Mudville Music Room, 3105 Beach Blvd., St. Nicholas, 352-7008, $10.

N.W. IZZARD 9:30 p.m. Dec. 29, Surfer the Bar, 200 First St. N., Jax Beach, 372-9756.

COLTON McKENNA, NEW ROCK SOUL 6 p.m. Dec. 29, Prohibition Kitchen.

HARD 2 HANDLE 9 p.m. Dec. 29, Whiskey Jax, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Southside, 634-7208.

CASSIDY LEE 5 p.m. Dec. 29, Cheers Park Avenue.

CALL ME BRONCO, MUDTOWN, BLURG 8 p.m. Dec. 29, Rain Dogs, 1045 Park St., Riverside, 379-4969.

ROGER THAT 9:30 p.m. Dec. 29, Cheers Park Avenue.

HEATHER GILLIS 10 p.m. Dec. 29, Mojo Kitchen, 1500 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 247-6636, $12.

THE SPILL CANVAS 7 p.m. Dec. 29, 1904 Music Hall, $15.

FLAGSHIP ROMANCE, AIX-HUSBAND 8 p.m. Dec. 30, Jack Rabbits, free.

GANG OF SIX 7 p.m. Dec. 30, Mudville Music Room.

SOUTH PAW 7 p.m. Dec. 30, Boondocks Grill & Bar. WES COBB, GROOVE COALITION 6 p.m. Dec. 30, Prohibition Kitchen.

VEGAS GREY 9:30 p.m. Dec. 30, Cheers Park Avenue.

J CREW BAND 10 p.m. Dec. 30 & 31, Flying Iguana, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680.

PROBABLE CAUSE 9 p.m. Dec. 30, Whiskey Jax Southside.

THE NTH POWER, NYE LOVE TRAIN, SNARKY PUPPY, TREY ANASTASIO BAND HORNS, PARKER URBAN, BEDSIDE, RECESS, VLAD THE INHALER, BOOTY BOO, BIG BUCK$ CREW 9 p.m. Dec. 31, 1904 Music Hall, $35-$50.

PAUL IVEY, SOUTHERN RUCKUS 4:30 p.m. Dec. 31, Boondocks Grill & Bar. NEW YEAR’S EVE BASH: LOVE MONKEY 9:30 p.m. Dec. 31, Cheers Park Avenue.

NYE WITH NORTH OF 40 8:30 p.m. Dec. 31, Whiskey Jax Southside.

DOUG CARN 9:30 p.m. Dec. 31, Breezy Jazz Club, 119 W. Adams St., Downtown, 666-7562, $35-$60.

MJ BAKER, CHILLULA 6 p.m. Dec. 31, Prohibition Kitchen.

NYE WITH THE BOOGIE FREAKS 8:30 p.m. Dec. 31, Whiskey Jax, Jax Beach.

HENRY ROLLINS 7 p.m. Jan. 1, PV Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., pvconcerthall.com, $33-$43.

ILL-ESHA 8 p.m. Jan. 1, 1904 Music Hall, $10.

HELLZAPOPPIN CIRCUS SIDESHOW 8 p.m. Jan. 2, 1904 Music Hall, $13.

BETTYE LaVETTE 7 p.m. Jan. 4, PVC Hall, $29-$36.

SOME KIND OF NIGHTMARE 7 p.m. Jan. 4, ShantyTown Pub, 22 W. Sixth St., Springfield.

GINGER BEARD MAN 8 p.m. Jan. 4, Cheers Park Avenue.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

AFTERFUNK, BIG LOGIC & THE TRUTH SERUM, THE PINE BOX DWELLERS Jan. 5, 1904 Music Hall PETER BRADLEY ADAMS Jan. 5, Café Eleven WILD PONIES Jan. 6, Jack Rabbits LARRY MANGUM Jan. 6, Mudville Music Room NEW YEAR’S THROWDOWN: EVERGREEN TERRACE, BOYS NO GOOD, JUST LIKE GENTLEMEN, CLOUD 9 VIBES, MIZZY RAW, PERSONALITIES, YOUNG GHOSTS, HUNGOVER, INTERVENTION, PHANTOMS, PUZZLES TO PIECES, SUCK BRICK KID, BOYSIN, THATGUYTRESHUN, SPEECH PATTERNS, FAIR FIGHT, DROWNING ABOVE WATER, HIPPY BLAINE, SHE BLEEDS MERLOT, METAMAN Jan. 6, Mavericks Live BOCCHERINI, PUCCINI, NINO ROTA, WOLF Jan. 7, PVC Hall RIP JUNIOR, CUTTING TEETH, PSYCHO HILL, ADULT LIFE, R-DENT Jan. 7, 1904 Music Hall JACKSON BROWNE, GREG LEISZ Jan. 7, Florida Theatre BAD IDOLS, SIN Jan. 9, Nighthawks STEVE POLTZ Jan. 10, Café Eleven NFFN ARTIST SHOWCASE Jan. 10, Mudville Music Room JACK WILLIAMS Jan. 11, Mudville Music Room THE ZOMBIES: ODESSEY AND ORACLE 50TH ANNIVERSARY Jan. 12, PVC Hall THE ORCHESTRA (EX-ELO MEMBERS), JACKSONVILLE SYMPHONY ROCK ORCHESTRA Jan. 12, The Florida Theatre BLOOD BATH & BEYOND Jan. 12, Jack Rabbits ZACH DEPUTY, COME BACK ALICE Jan. 12, 1904 Music Hall SOCIAL REPOSE, SEPTEMBER MOURNING, NIGHT ARGENT Jan. 12, Jack Rabbits FRED EAGLESMITH Jan. 12, Café Eleven A TEMPTATIONS REVUE, BO HENDERSON Jan. 13, Ritz Theatre FLAW Jan. 13, 1904 Music Hall AYO & TEO Jan. 14, The Florida Theatre ANDY FRESCO & the U.N. Jan. 14, 1904 Music Hall BLISS & THE BOYS: GAIL BLISS, PAUL KRAMER, RUSS WEVER, BRIAN TAYLOR, DAVE WEBB, RORY HOFFMAN, KENNY DUNCAN Jan. 15, Comedy Club of Jax IAN FITZGERALD Jan. 15, Jack Rabbits BOBBY AMARU Jan. 16, 1904 Music Hall JONNY LANG Jan. 16, Florida Theatre LEE SCRATCH PERRY Jan. 17, Jack Rabbits FINN MAGILL, ALAN MURRAY, OLD DAWGS NEW TRIXX Jan. 17, Mudville Music Room LARRY MANGUM, DAVID MALLETT Jan. 18, Mudville Music Room AFROMAN Jan. 18, Jack Rabbits

DECADES REWIND Jan. 18, Thrasher-Horne Center DEAHPHISH ORCHESTRA Jan. 18, 1904 Music Hall MARY BRAGG Jan. 19, Mudville Music Room JASON FARNAM Jan. 17, Thrasher-Horne Center JAKE OWEN Jan. 19, The Florida Theatre CHICK COREA Jan. 19, Venue TBA, Fernandina Beach FADE TO BLACK METALLICA TRIBUTE Jan. 19, 1904 Music Hall THE TRAVELIN’ MCCOURYS Jan. 20, PVC Hall IN THIS MOMENT, P.O.D., DED Jan. 20, Florida Theatre STEWART TUSSING BAND Jan. 20, Mudville Music Room BIG SOMETHING, BOBBY LEE RODGERS Jan. 20, Jack Rabbits MUSICAL THRONE Jan. 24, The Florida Theatre THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS Jan. 24, PVC Hall JACOB JOHNSON Jan. 25, Mudville Music Room MARTY STUART & HIS FABULOUS SUPERLATIVES Jan. 25, PVC Hall DOROTHY Jan. 25, Jack Rabbits FELLY Jan. 25, 1904 Music Hall MASON JENNINGS Jan. 26, PVC Hall THE STOMPDOWN Jan. 27, Florida Theatre BLACK VIOLIN Jan. 27, PVC Hall CES CRU, THE PALMER SQUARE, GPO Jan. 27, Jack Rabbits TIFFANY HADDISH Jan. 28, The Florida Theatre YONDER MOUNTAIN STRING BAND Jan. 28, PVC Hall KENNY YARBROUGH, SOUTHERN TIDE Jan. 28, Limelight Theatre WORLD INFERNO FRIENDSHIP SOCIETY, COMMUNITY CENTER, TAIL LIGHT REBELLION, MUDTOWN Jan. 28, Nighthawks ROTTEN MANGOS, FERNWAY, BILLY & BELLA Jan. 28, 1904 Music Hall TAKE ME TO THE RIVER: WILLIAM BELL, BOBBY RUSH, DON BRYANT Jan. 30, Florida Theatre GAELIC STORM Jan. 30, PVC Hall VELON THOMPSON Jan. 30, Mudville Music Room HAUNTED SUMMER Jan. 30, Jack Rabbits G3 2018: JOE SATRIANI, PHIL COLLEN, JOHN PETRUCCI Jan. 31, Florida Theatre ZOLOPHT Jan. 31, Jack Rabbits TANYA TUCKER Feb. 1, Florida Theatre HARRIS BROTHERS Feb. 1, Mudville Music Room JOHN 5 & THE CREATURES, JACKIE STRANGER Feb. 2, 1904 Music Hall ANTHEMS TOUR: ADAM ANT Feb. 2, Florida Theatre MARY WILSON (THE SUPREMES) Feb. 3, Ritz Theatre SPAFFORD Feb. 3, Jack Rabbits JOE MULLINS & THE RADIO RAMBLERS Feb. 3, Mudville Music Room The VERVE PIPE Feb. 4, Café Eleven FEEDING FINGERS Feb. 4, Nighthawks JAKE SHIMABUKURO Feb. 6, PVC Hall DIANA KRALL Feb. 7, Florida Theatre TESSA VIOLET, SECRET MIDNIGHT PRESS, GIVE ME MOTION Feb. 7, Jack Rabbits FRONT PORCH SERIES: JOHN MCCUTCHEON, GRANT PEEPLES Feb. 8, PVC Hall CODY JINKS, WARD DAVIS, SUNNY SWEENEY Feb. 8, Florida Theatre L.A. GUNS, BUDDERSIDE Feb. 8, Jack Rabbits THE KENNEDYS Feb. 8, Mudville Music Room TESLA Feb. 9, Florida Theatre JOHN MORELAND Feb. 9, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DECEMBER 27, 2017-JANUARY 2, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC DECLAN McKENNA Feb. 9, 1904 Music Hall ELLAMENO BEAT, OF GOOD NATURE Feb. 9, Jack Rabbits G LOVE & SPECIAL SAUCE Feb. 10, PVC Hall LITTLE RIVER BAND, PABLO CRUISE Feb. 10, Florida Theatre THE LANGSTON HUGHES PROJECT Feb. 10, Ritz Theatre UNDER THE STREETLAMP Feb. 11, PVC Hall JASON EADY Feb. 11, Mudville Music Room SETH GLIER Feb. 11, Cafe Eleven BLUES TRAVELER Feb. 11, Florida Theatre LESS THAN JAKE, FOUR YEAR STRONG, DIRECT HIT, BEARINGS Feb. 12, Mavericks Live THE HOT SARDINES Feb. 13, Florida Theatre PUDDLES PITY PARTY Feb. 15, PVC Hall QUEENS OF THE NIGHT Feb. 14, Nighthawks MISSISSIPPI JOHN HURT FOUNDATION BENEFIT Feb. 14, Mudville Music Room BOTTLE ROCKETS, CHUCK PROPHET & THE MISSION EXPRESS Feb. 16, PVC Hall CHRIS YOUNG Feb. 16, St. Augustine Amphitheatre SIERRA HULL Feb. 17, PVC Hall DANIEL O’DONNELL Feb. 17, Florida Theatre 21 BLUE!, LONGINEU PARSONS, TED SHUMATE Feb. 17, Mudville Music Room WILLIE NELSON & FAMILY, LOS LONELY BOYS Feb. 18, St. Augustine Amphitheatre BARRY MANILOW Feb. 18, Times-Union Center GORDON LIGHTFOOT Feb. 18, Florida Theatre COLIN QUINN Feb. 18, PVC Hall ROOTS OF CREATION Feb. 19, Jack Rabbits GEORGE BENSON Feb. 19, Thrasher-Horne Center ERIC JOHNSON, TOMMY TAYLOR, LYLE BROCK, ARIELLE Feb. 20, PVC Hall ROBERT CRAY & HIS BAND Feb. 21, PVC Hall RODRIGUEZ Feb. 21, Florida Theatre SOUTHERN CULTURE ON THE SKIDS Feb. 22, St. Augustine Amphitheatre’s Front Porch DOYLE BRAMHALL II, BRANDY ZDAN Feb. 22, PV Concert Hall MINDI ABAIR & THE BONESHAKERS, AIR SUPPLY Feb. 23, Florida Theatre JAMIE DeFRATES, MIKE SHACKELFORD, LARRY MANGUM Feb. 23, Mudville Music Room GEORGE WINSTON Feb. 23, PVC Hall THE BLACKWATER SOL REVUE: JJ GREY & MOFRO, LOS LOBOS, NORTH MISSISSIPPI ALLSTARS, MARCUS KING BAND, MORE Feb. 24, St. Augustine Amphitheatre THE EXPENDABLES, THROUGH THE ROOTS, PACIFIC DUB Feb. 24, St. Augustine Amphitheatre’s Backyard Stage LITTLE JAKE & THE SOUL SEARCHERS Feb. 24, Mudville Music Room THE WEEPIES Feb. 24, PVC Hall UNKNOWN HINSON, JD WILKES Feb. 24, Jack Rabbits AN EVENING WITH MAVIS STAPLES Feb. 25, PVC Hall MICHAEL McDONALD Feb. 27, Florida Theatre AN EVENING WITH JORMA KAUKONEN Feb. 27, PVC Hall BLACKBERRY SMOKE March 1, Florida Theatre CAIN’T NEVER COULD, LARA HOPE & THE ARKTONES March 1, Nighthawks NIGHT OF BEE GEES March 1, Thrasher-Horne Center RAGLAND March 1, Jack Rabbits DIXIE DREGS March 1, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall 50TH ANNIVERSARY: TOWER OF POWER March 2, PVC Hall

PHILLIP PHILLIPS March 2, Florida Theatre FLEET FOXES March 2, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JOHN HAMMOND March 3, PVC Hall THE GEORGIA FLOOD March 3, Jack Rabbits JUSTIN MOORE, DYLAN SCOTT March 3, St. Aug. Amphitheatre TIERNEY SUTTON BAND March 4, Ritz Theatre KNOCKED LOOSE, TERROR, JESUS PIECE, STONE March 4, 1904 Music Hall ANA POPOVIC March 7, PVC Hall 25TH ANNUAL GUITAR GATHERING: THE LOS ANGELES GUITAR QUARTET March 8, Florida Theatre; DASotA benefit CELTIC MUSIC & HERITAGE FESTIVAL: EMMET CAHILL, DUBLIN CITY RAMBLERS, SEVEN NATIONS, RATHKELTAIR, EMISH, ALBANNACH, ENTER THE HAGGIS, STEEL CITY ROVERS, HOUSE OF HAMILL March 9-11, Francis Field, St. Augustine SOUTHERN UPRISING TOUR: TRAVIS TRITT, THE CHARLIE DANIELS BAND, THE MARSHALL TUCKER BAND, THE OUTLAWS March 9, St. Augustine Amphitheatre COAST MODERN March 9, Jack Rabbits AN EVENING YOU’LL FORGET FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE: STEVE MARTIN, MARTIN SHORT, THE STEEP CANYON RANGERS, JEFF BABKO March 9, Times-Union Center BIANCA DEL RIO March 10, PVC Hall SIDELINE March 10, Mudville Music Room EARTH, WIND & FIRE March 10, Florida Theatre BRAD PAISLEY, CHASE BRYANT March 10, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ROBIN TROWER March 10, Mudville Music Room THE TENDERLOINS March 11, St. Augustine Amphitheatre THE IRISH ROVERS March 11, Florida Theatre THE MARVIN GAYE EXPERIENCE March 11, Thrasher-Horne Center ROBIN TROWER March 13, PVC Hall ANITA BAKER March 14, Times-Union Center JOE JENCKS March 16, Mudville Music Room DAVE EGGER ORCHESTRA March 16, St. Aug. Amphitheatre STEVE HOFSTETTER March 16, Jack Rabbits NAHKO “MY NAME IS BEAR TOUR”: THE LATE ONES, XIUHTEZCATL March 16, PVC Hall GET THE LED OUT March 16, Florida Theatre FOREIGNER March 16, St. Augustine Amphitheatre 1964 THE TRIBUTE: THE BEST BEATLES BAND ON EARTH March 17, St. Augustine Amphitheatre WALKER BROTHERS, OLD DAWGS NEW TRIXX March 17, Mudville Music Room COREY SMITH, FORTUNATE YOUTH March 17, Jack Rabbits ALICE COOPER March 18, Florida Theater A DAY TO REMEMBER, PAPA ROACH, FALLING IN REVERSE, THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA March 20, St. Aug. Amphitheatre MIKE & the MECHANICS March 21, PVC Hall WALTER SALAS-HUMARA March 23, Mudville Music Room STEEP CANYON RANGERS March 22, Florida Theatre RODNEY CARRINGTON March 23, Florida Theatre MIKE SHACKELFORD March 23, Mudville Music Room THREE DOG NIGHT, THE LORDS OF 52ND STREET March 25, Florida Theatre WATAIN March 25, Mavericks Live FORTUNATE YOUTH, BALLYHOO, TATANKA March 28, Mavericks Live LOUDON WAINWRIGHT III, LUCY WAINWRIGHT ROCHE March 30, PVC Hall

DANGERMUFFIN March 30, Mudville Music Room UDO DIRKSCHNEIDER March 30, Jack Rabbits MAKS & VAL March 31, Florida Theatre BUDDY GUY, JIMMIE VAUGHAN, QUINN SULLIVAN April 5, Florida Theatre TOMMY EMMANUEL, ANTHONY SNAPE April 6 & 7, PVC Hall SETH WALKER April 7, Mudville Music Room THAT 1 GUY April 8, Jack Rabbits CHRIS BOTTI April 13, Florida Theatre ABBA THE CONCERT April 17, Florida Theatre BRIAN CULBERTSON April 18, Florida Theatre BRUCE COCKBURN April 19, PVC Hall WANEE 2018: WIDESPREAD PANIC, PHIL LESH & THE TERRAPIN FAMILY BAND, AS THE CROW FLIES, DARK STAR ORCHESTRA, ST. PAUL & THE BROKEN BONES, JAIMOE’S JASSZ BAND, THE CHRIS ROBINSON BROTHERHOOD, NORTH MISSISSIPPI ALLSTARS, KARL DENSON’S TINY UNIVERSE, EAT A BUNCH OF PEACHES, PIGEONS PLAYING PING PONG, WALTER TROUT, SONNY LANDRETH, THE MARCUS KING BAND, GEORGE PORTER JR. & THE RUNNING PARDNERS, SOUL REBELS, LES BROS, PINK TALKING FISH, BOBBY LEE ROGERS TRIO, BIG SOMETHING, NEW ORLEANS SUSPECTS, BERRY OAKLEY’S INDIGENOUS SUSPECTS, MIDNIGHT NORTH, THE YETI TRIO, CRAZY FINGERS April 19, 20 & 21, Suwannee Music Park, Live Oak THOMAS RHETT, BRETT YOUNG, CARLY PEARCE April 20, Daily’s Place DAVID FOSTER April 24, Florida Theatre 10,000 MANIACS April 25, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE VOICE OF ROMANCE TOUR: JOHNNY MATHIS April 26, Florida Theatre WELCOME TO ROCKVILLE: OZZY OSBOURNE, FOO FIGHTERS, AVENGED SEVENFOLD, QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE, BILLY IDOL, FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH, GODSMACK, STONE SOUR, BLACK VEIL BRIDES, AVATAR, MORE April 27, 28 & 29, Metro Park BLACK JACKET SYMPHONY, JACKSONVILLE ROCK SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA: SGT. PEPPER’S 50TH ANNIVERSARY TOUR April 27, Florida Theatre 25TH ANNIVERSARY LIVE AT THE ACROPOLIS: YANNI April 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ALAN PARSONS PROJECT, CARL PALMER April 28, Florida Theatre

LIVE MUSIC CLUBS AMELIA ISLAND + FERNANDINA

LA MANCHA, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646 Miguel Paley 5:30-9 p.m. every Fri.-Sun. Javier Parez every Sun. THE SALTY PELICAN, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811 Dan Voll & Michelle 4:30 p.m. Dec. 31 SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652 Pili Pili Dec. 27. Tad Jennings Dec. 28. Dan Voll Dec. 29.

Adventures of AnnaBell Lynn Dec. 30. JC, Chase & Uncle Mike 2 p.m., Milltown Road 8:30 p.m. Dec. 31. Cassidy Lee Jan. 1.

Mark O’Quinn 6 p.m. Jan. 2 SURF RESTAURANT, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Katfish Lee 1 p.m. Dec. 27 & 28

AVONDALE + ORTEGA

CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. Jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon.

This lady rules some jazzy blues. MJ BAKER kicks off NYE, 6 p.m. Dec. 31 at Prohibition Kitchen, St. Augustine.

18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 27, 2017-JANUARY 2, 2018

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free 9 p.m. Tue. & Thur.

Indie dance 9 p.m. Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance Fri.

Spectra Dec. 29. Vegas Grey 8:30 p.m. Dec. 31. Live music every Fri.

THE BEACHES

MANDARIN

(ALL VENUES IN JAX BEACH UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED) 1st STREET LOFT, 502 N. First St., 241-7848 Open mic 7 p.m. every Thur.

ATLANTIC BEACH BREWING CO., 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 3 & 15, Atlantic Beach, 372-4116 Adam Latiff 8 p.m. Dec. 30 BLUE WATER DAIQUIRI & OYSTER BAR, 205 N. First St., 249-0083 Live music most weekends BRASS ANCHOR PUB, 2292 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0301 Open mic night 8 p.m. every Wed. CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 249-9595 Michael Funge 6:30 p.m. every Sun. FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & TEQUILA BAR, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680 J Crew Band 10 p.m. Dec. 30 & 31 FLY’S TIE IRISH PUB, 177 Sailfish Dr., AB, 246-4293 Live music on weekends GREEN ROOM BREWING, 228 Third St. N., 201-9283 Mike Cook Dec. 29. Michael C Dec. 30 GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925 Groov 7:30 p.m. every Wed. Michael Smith every Thur. Milton Clapp every Fri. Under the Bus every Sat. Robert Eccles 6 p.m. every Sun. LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 First St. N., 249-5181 K-Sick 10 p.m. Dec. 29. Dirty Pete 10 p.m. Dec. 31. Split Tone every Thur. Chillula every Sun. Kristen Campbell every Mon. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 Third St. N., 241-5600 Felix Chang 9:30 p.m. Dec. 28. Live music most weekends MEZZA RESTAURANT & BAR, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573 Gypsies Ginger every Wed. Mike Shackelford, Steve Shanholtzer every Thur. Mezza Shuffle every Mon. Trevor Tanner every Tue. MOJO KITCHEN, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636 Heather Gillis 10 p.m. Dec. 29 OCEAN 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., AB, 247-0060 Taylor Roberts 7 p.m. Dec. 27 RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877 Big John Dec. 27. Four Play Dec. 28. Party Cartel Dec. 29 & 30. 7th Street Band Dec. 31 SOUTHERN GROUNDS & CO., 200 First St., NB, 249-2922 Billy Bowers 7 p.m. Dec. 30. Jazz Corner 6 p.m. every Tue. SURFER THE BAR, 200 First St. N., 372-9756 Ryan Campbell Dec. 27. N.W. Izzard 9:30 p.m. Dec. 29. Soulo & the Be Easy Band Dec. 30 WHISKEY JAX, 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy., 853-5973 Hinesite 8 p.m. Dec. 28. NYE with Boogie Freaks Dec. 31

CAMDEN COUNTY, GA.

CAPTAIN STAN’S Smokehouse, 700 Bedell Dr., Woodbine, 912-729-9552 Pine Box Dwellers Dec. 29. Michaele & the Ambiguous Dec. 30. Eddie Pickett 6:30 p.m. every Wed. JJ’S TAVERN, 711 Osborne St., St. Marys, 912-882-5280 Live music most weekends

DOWNTOWN

1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N., 345-5760 PVRK: Tribute to Chester Bennington 8 p.m. Dec. 28. The Spill Canvas 7 p.m. Dec. 29. The Nth Power, NYE Love Train, Snarky Puppy, Trey Anastasio Band Horns, Parker Urban, Bedside, Recess, Vlad The Inhaler, Booty Boo, Big Buck$ Crew 9 p.m. Dec. 31.

Ill-Esha 8 p.m. Jan. 1. Hellzapoppin Circus Sideshow Jan. 2 BREEZY JAZZ CLUB, 119 W. Adams St., 666-7562 Bryan Hayes 8:30 p.m. Dec. 29. Doug Carn, Gwen Redding 7 p.m. Dec. 31 DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 DJ Brandon Thur.

DJ NickFresh Sat. DJ Randall Mon. DJ Hollywood Tue. FIONN MacCOOL’S, Jacksonville Landing, 374-1247 Spade McQuade 6-9 p.m. Dec. 27. Live music 8 p.m. Dec. 29 & 30.

Austin Park 9 p.m. Dec. 31 HOURGLASS PUB, 345 E. Bay St., 469-1719 Singersongwriter open mic 9 p.m. Thur. Live music 9:30 p.m. Fri. HYPERION BREWING CO., 1740 N. Main St., 518-5131 Gary Starling Jazz Trio 8 p.m. Dec. 30. “When Harry Met Sally” 7:30ish Dec. 31 INTUITION ALE WORKS, 929 E. Bay St., 683-7720 Live music most weekends JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 Austin Park 8 p.m.-1 a.m. Dec. 29. Boogie Freaks 9 p.m. Dec. 30. 7th Street Band 4 p.m., Briteside Band 9 p.m. Dec. 31 MAVERICKS LIVE, Jax Landing, 356-1110 10th Annual Smokin’ Aces NYE Party 8 p.m. Dec. 31. Joe Buck, DJ Justin every Thur.-Sat. MYTH NIGHTCLUB, 333 E. Bay St., 707-0474 UK, Santan, Tonyt, Twisted T Dec. 27. Aware, Cash Gordo, Jon Kinesis, Tim Jarrell Dec. 30. DJ Ibay NYE Dec. 31 VOLSTEAD, 115 W. Adams, 414-3171 John Lumpkin 9 p.m.

Dec. 29

FLEMING ISLAND

BOONDOCKS GRILL & BAR, 2808 Henley Rd., Green Cove, 406-9497 John Davis Dec. 27. Eric Collette, Lee Blake Dec. 28. Jonathan Lee Dec. 29. South Paw Dec. 30. Paul Ivey, Southern Ruckus Dec. 31 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999 Live music most weekends WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Ivan Pulley 9 p.m. Dec. 29. Zeb Padgett 9 p.m. Dec. 30. Lisa & the Mad Hatters 9 p.m. Dec. 31

INTRACOASTAL

CLIFF’S Bar & Grill, 3033 Monument Rd., Ste. 2, 6455162 Side Hustle Dec. 27. South of Savannah Dec. 29.

Highway Jones Dec. 30. NYE with Fratello Dec. 31. Open mic every Tue. JERRY’S Sports Bar & Grille, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766

OVERSET

ENZA’S, 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 109, 268-4458 Brian Iannucci Dec. 27 & Dec. 31 IGGY’S GRILL & BAR, 104 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 101, 209-5209 DJ Greg 7 p.m. every Wed. TAPS BAR & GRILL, 2220 C.R. 210, St. Johns, 819-1554 Chuck Nash Dec. 27. 7 Street Band Dec. 29

ORANGE PARK + MIDDLEBURG

CHEERS PARK AVENUE, 1138 Park Ave., 269-4855 DJ Capone 9:30 p.m. Dec. 27. Firewater Tent Revival 9:30 p.m. Dec. 28.

Cassidy Lee 5 p.m. Dec. 29. Roger That Dec. 29. Vegas Grey 9:30 p.m. Dec. 30. New Year’s Eve Bash: Love Monkey 9:30 p.m. Dec. 31. Ginger Beard Man Jan. 4 DALTON’S SPORTS GRILL, 2620 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 17, 282-1564 Live music most weekends DEE’S MUSIC BAR, 2141 Loch Rane Blvd., Ste. 140, 375-2240 DJ Troy every Wed. THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael on the piano every Tue.-Sat. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Live music every Fri. & Sat. SHARK CLUB, 714 Park Ave., 215-1557 Digital Skyline 9 p.m.

Dec. 29. Live music most weekends

PONTE VEDRA

PUSSER’S GRILLE, 816 A1A, 280-7766 Stephen Pigman 6 p.m. Dec. 28. Live music every Wed.-Sat. TABLE 1, 330 A1A N., 280-5515 Live music every Wed., Thur. & Sat.

RIVERSIDE + WESTSIDE

ACROSS THE STREET, 948 Edgewood Ave. S., 683-4182 Bill Ricci Dec. 28. Live music most weekends HOBNOB, 220 Riverside Ave., Ste. 10, 513-4272 Live music every Fri. NIGHTHAWKS, 2952 Roosevelt Blvd. HereAfter, Whiskey Throttle Dec. 30 RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969 Call Me Bronco, Mudtown, Blurg 8 p.m. Dec. 29 SOUTH KITCHEN & SPIRITS, 3638 Park St., 475-2362 Live music most weekends

ST. AUGUSTINE

ARNOLD’S LOUNGE, 3912 N. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 824-8738 Southern Ruckus 9 p.m. Dec. 30. The Remains NYE Dec. 31.

Mr. Natural every Thur.

DOS COFFEE & WINE, 300 San Marco Ave., 342-2421 Live music every weekend MARDI GRAS, 123 San Marco Ave., 823-8806 Frazzled 9 p.m. Dec. 29. 5th Century Music open mic night every Sun. Musicians Exchange every Mon. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040 Eddie Pickett 6 p.m. Dec. 29 PROHIBITION KITCHEN, 119 St. George St., 209-5704 Leelyn Osborn, Cookin In Da Kitchen 6 p.m. Dec. 27. Danielle Eva Jazz Duo, Live Hart 6 p.m. Dec. 28. Colton McKenna, New Rock Soul 6 p.m. Dec. 29. Wes Cobb, Groove Coalition 6 p.m.

Dec. 30. MJ Baker, Chillula 6 p.m. Dec. 31 TEMPO, 16 Cathedral Pl., 342-0286 Jax English Salsa Band 6 p.m. Dec. 31 TRADEWINDS LOUNGE, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 JP Driver Dec. 29 & 30

SAN MARCO

DOUBLETREE, 1201 Riverplace Blvd., 398-8800 Live music 4:30 p.m. every Thur.

JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Blurg Gilt 7 p.m. Dec. 27. Jerrod Allen, Here Comes The Hero, Kelly White 8 p.m. Dec. 29. Flagship Romance, Aix-Husband 8 p.m.

Dec. 30.

MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Mike Shackelford Band 7 p.m. Dec. 29. Gang of Six 7 p.m. Dec. 30

SOUTHSIDE, ARLINGTON & BAYMEADOWS

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955 Barrett Jockers Dec. 28. Paul Ivey Dec. 29 WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., 634-7208 Hard 2 Handle 9 p.m. Dec. 29. Probable Cause 9 p.m. Dec. 30. NYE with North of 40 8:30 p.m. Dec. 31. Live music most weekends

SPRINGFIELD + NORTHSIDE

BOSTON’S, 13070 City Station Dr., 751-7499 Savanna Leigh Bassett 9 p.m. Dec. 30 CROOKED ROOSTER BREWERY, 1478 S. Sixth St., Macclenny, 653-2337 Hangman Crown Dec. 31. Open mic 7 p.m. every Wed. KNUCKLEHEADS Bar, 850532 U.S. 17, 222-2380 Live music every weekend MELLOW MUSHROOM, 15170 Max Leggett Pkwy., 757-8843 Live music most every weekend OCEANWAY BAR, 12905 Main St. N., 647-9127 Live music most every weekend

_____________________________________

To list your band’s gig, please send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price, and a contact number to print to Madeleine Peck Wagner, email madeleine@folioweekly.com or by the U.S. Postal Service, 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Events run on a space-available basis. Deadline is at noon every Wednesday for the next Wednesday’s publication.

DECEMBER 27, 2017-JANUARY 2, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 19

ORCHESTRAL LUNACY

SYMPHONIC ABSURDITY ON NEW YEAR’S EVE

JAX SYMPHONY says, ‘Internationally acclaimed performer Tomáš Kubínek brings hilarity and charm to the Symphony stage in a work of grand music, madcap brilliance and old-world panache.’ Zany 21st-century song-and-dance man Dr. Professor Kubínek is a comic genius, virtuoso vaudevillian and all-around charmer who gives audiences an utterly joyous experience to remember for a lifetime. Guest conductor is Timothy Hakenwich. 9 p.m., Times-Union Center’s Jacoby Symphony Hall, $30-$100 (does not include afterparty), jaxsymphony.org.

NYE PICKS

GET OUT OF THE HOUSE ON NEW YEAR’S EVE

GET GILDED

SHAKEN, NOT STIRRED

RED CARPET REVELRY

Really, can there ever be too much gold? The Lightner Museum—toasting the 130th anniversary of its Alcazar Hotel—thinks not, and we agree. There’s a certain je ne sais quoi about welcoming in a new year that calls for opulence, glitter and shine. Get in a shimmery mindset, dance to the band Ramona’s interpretations of the lively tunes of day— the 1880s—nibble light bites, sip a champagne toast, watch balloons drop and sashay to the cash bar, 9:30 p.m., Lightner Museum, 75 King St., St. Augustine, $50, cocktail attire, lightnermuseum.org.

Northeast Florida’s first craft vodka (from Grey Matter Distillery) is throwing one of the biggest bashes at the beach! This is its third annual oceanfront event and the Jaguars official DJ, Billy Parry, spins the party along. If you’re one of those who thinks how you start the year is how you’ll live the year, we know of no better beginning to (and continuing of) 2018 than with a tasty beverage in one hand, a light bite in the other, dance music in the air, and an ocean breeze in your hair! 8 p.m., Seachasers, 831 N. First St., Jax Beach, 372-0444, $100-$130, carvevodka.com.

Four rooms of sound, multilevel party access, international DJs and DJs Kinesis, iBay, Mike Shea, Twisted T, Xander & Wali Sadeq, dancers, pole performers, cash and prizes make this one of the hottest ways to bid adieu to 2017’s long shadow. Plus, there’s a photo booth, midnight $1,000 balloon drop, followed by a light breakfast at 1 a.m. for all the dedicated, hungry partiers (check the website for details). The fun starts at 5 p.m., Myth Nightclub, 333 E. Bay St., Downtown, $25-$350 (plus fees), mythexperience.com.

NEW YEAR’S EVE SOIRÉE AT THE LIGHTNER

CARVE NEW YEAR’S EVE CELEBRATION

MYTH NIGHTCLUB’S BLACK TIE MASQUERADE BALL

EASY BREEZY

MASQUERADE BASH(ISH)

The incomparable Doug Carn and Gwen Redding (Otis Redding’s distant cousin) bring in 2018 in grand style. Breezy has raffles, giveaways and so much more, plus (natch): a champagne toast at midnight to help usher in a brighter year for all! 9:30 p.m., Breezy Jazz Club, 119 W. Adams St., Downtown, 666-7562, $35-$60, breezyjazzclub.com.

Jacksonville’s party posse: After the Bomb Baby and other killer acts take to the stage as you dive into the AUCE buffet (black-eyed peas, collard greens, Azar sausage and cornbread, $7), or perch on the picnic tables out back, imbibe the finest adult beverages, and consign 2017 to the dustbin. Costumes are encouraged and the best mask wins a bar tab. 7 p.m., Nighthawks, 2952 Roosevelt Blvd., Riverside, $10.

BREEZY JAZZ CLUB’S INAUGURAL NEW YEAR’S EVE EXTRAVAGANZA

20 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 27, 2017-JANUARY 2, 2018

NYE PARTY AT NIGHTHAWKS

DECEMBER 27, 2017-JANUARY 2, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 21

FOLIO DINING Traditional fare, plenty of tapped kegs and a never-met-a-stranger kind of service has made LYNCH’S IRISH PUB in Jax Beach a 2017 Best of Jax winner for Best Irish Pub.

MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moonriverpizza. net. F 2017 Best of Jax winner.

Authentic Northern-style pizzas, 20-plus toppings, pie/slice.

Calzones. $ BW TO L D M-Sa THE MUSTARD SEED CAFÉ, 833 Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Casual organic eatery, juice bar, in photo by Madison Gross Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juices, herbal teas, coffees, daily specials. $$ K TO B L M-Sa THE PATIO PLACE, 416 Ash St., 410-3717, patioplacebistro. com. Bistro/wine bar/crêperie’s global menu uses crêpes: starters, entrées, shareables, desserts. $$ BW TO B L D Tu-Su POINTE RESTAURANT, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabethpointelodge.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. In awardwinning inn Elizabeth Pointe Lodge. Seaside dining; in or out.

Hot buffet breakfast daily, full lunch menu. Homestyle soups, specialty sandwiches, desserts. $$$ BW K B L D Daily THE SALTY PELICAN BAR & GRILL, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. 2ndstory outdoor bar. T.J. & Al offer local seafood, fish tacos, Mayport shrimp, po’boys, cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily AMELIA ISLAND + SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, FERNANDINA BEACH slidersseaside.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Oceanfront.

BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F Award-winning handmade crabcakes, fried pickles, fresh On the water at Centre Street’s end. Southern hospitality, seafood. Open-air 2nd floor balcony, playground. $$ FB K L upscale atmosphere; daily specials, fresh local seafood, D Daily aged beef. $$$ FB L D Daily THE SURF RESTAURANT & BAR, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo.com.

261-5711, thesurfonline.com. Oceanview dining since 1957, F Family-owned café in historic building. Worldly fare, inside or on the deck. Steaks, seafood, burgers, daily food and made-from-scratch dressings, sauces, desserts, sourcing drink specials; Wing It Wednesdays. $$ FB K TO L D Daily fresh veggies, seafood. Dine in or al fresco under oakT-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. Eighth St., 261-6310, shaded patio. Microbrew Karibrew Pub brews beer onsite; traysburgerstation.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. imports. $$ FB K TO R, Su; L Daily, D Tu-Su in season Family-owned-and-operated 18+ years. Blue plate specials, THE CRAB TRAP, 31 N. Second St., 261-4749, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L M-Sa ameliacrabtrap.com. F For nearly 40 years, family-ownedARLINGTON + REGENCY and-operated. Fresh local seafood, steaks, specials. HH. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1301 Monument Rd., Ste. 5, $$ FB L Sa-M; D Nightly 724-5802. F SEE ORANGE PARK. JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddianescafe.com. F Renovated 1887 shotgun house.

AVONDALE + ORTEGA Faves: jambalaya, French toast, pancakes, mac & cheese, FOOD ADDICTZ GRILL, 1044 Edgewood Ave. S., 240-1987. crêpes. Vegan items. Inside or porch overlooking historic Family-and-veteran-owned place is all about home cooking. area. $$ BW K TO B L D M, W, F, Sa; B L Su Customer faves: barbecued pulled pork, blackened chicken, LA MANCHA, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646, Caesar wrap and Portobello mushroom burger. $ K TO B L lamancharestaurante.com. Spanish, Portuguese fare, D Tu-Su Brazilian flair. Tapas, seafood, steaks, sangria. Drink HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, specials. AYCE paella Sun. $$$ FB K TO D Nightly harpoonlouies.net. F Locally owned & operated 20+ years.

LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 474272 S.R. 200, 844-2225. F American pub. 1/2-lb. burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta.

SEE ORANGE PARK. Local beers, HH. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MOJO NO. 4 URBAN BBQ & WHISKEY BAR, 3572 St. Johns Ave., Ste. 1, 381-6670, mojobbq.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner.

Pulled pork and Carolina-style barbecue. Delta fried catfish.

Avondale’s Mojo has shrimp & grits, specialty cocktails. Local AVERAGE ENTRÉE COST musicians on weekends. $$ FB K TO L D Daily $ $ $ $ < 10 20- 35 $$$ PINEGROVE MARKET & DELI, 1511 PineGrove Ave., 389-8655, $ pinegrovemarket.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. 40+ years. $$ $$$$ > $35 10- $20 Burgers, Cubans, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher, USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. Fri. & Sat. fish fry. $ BW TO B L D M-Sa ABBREVIATIONS & RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaurantorsay.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. French/ SPECIAL NOTES Southern bistro; local organic ingredients. Steak frites, L = Lunch BW = Beer/Wine mussels, pork chops. $$$ FB R, Su; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, D = Dinner FB = Full Bar simplysaras.net. F Down-home fare from scratch: Bite Club = Hosted eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit K = Kids’ Menu cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L Free Folio Weekly TO = Take Out D Tu-Sa, B Sa Bite Club Event SOUTH KITCHEN & SPIRITS, 3638 Park St., 475-2362, B = Breakfast F = Folio Weekly south.kitchen. Southern classics: crispy catfish with smoked gouda grits, family-style fried chicken, burgers, vegetarian, Distribution Spot R = Brunch vegan, gluten-free options. $$ FB K TO L D Daily

DINING DIRECTORY KEY

To list your restaurant, call your account manager or call or text SAM TAYLOR, Folio Weekly publisher, at 904-860-2465 (email: staylor@folioweekly.com).

BAYMEADOWS

AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE INTRACOASTAL. INDIA’S, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajaxcom. F Authentic cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetables, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L M-Sa; D Nightly LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498.

F SEE ORANGE PARK. 22 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 27, 2017-JANUARY 2, 2018

DINING DIRECTORY METRO DINER, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., 425-9142. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE SAN MARCO. NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 11030 Baymeadows Rd., 260-2791. 2017 Best of Jax finalist.

SEE MANDARIN. PATTAYA THAI GRILLE, 9551 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1, 646-9506, ptgrille.com. 2017 Best of Jax finalist. Since 1989, the family-owned place has offered an extensive menu of traditional Thai, vegetarian, new-Thai; curries, seafood, noodles, soups. Low-sodium & gluten-free. $$$ BW TO L D Tu-Sa THE WELL WATERING HOLE, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9, 737-7740, thewellwateringhole.com. Local craft beers, glass/bottle wines. Meatloaf sandwich, pulled Peruvian chicken, vegan black bean burgers. Gluten-free pizzas, desserts. HH specials. $$ BW K TO L M-F; D Tu-Sa WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 135, 634-7208, whiskeyjax.com. Popular gastropub has craft beers, gourmet burgers, handhelds, signature plates, tacos and–sure– whiskey. HH M-F. $$ FB B Sa & Su; L F; D Nightly

BEACHES

(Venues are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

1st STREET LOFT, 502 N. First St., 241-7848, 1ststreetloft.com.

New beach spot serves breakfast and lunch all day. Local artists’ works are displayed. It’s a coffeehouse and live music venue, too. $ TO B L D W-Sa; B L Su & M ANGIE’S SUBS, 1436 Beach Blvd., 246-2519. ANGIE’S GROM SUBS, 204 Third Ave. S., 241-3663. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Fresh ingredients, 25+ years. Huge salads, blue-ribbon iced tea. Grom has Sun. brunch, no alcohol. $ K BW TO L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 2400 S. Third St., Ste. 201, 374-5735. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. BREEZY COFFEE SHOP WINE BAR, 235 Eighth Ave. S., 241-2211, breezycoffeeshopcafe.com. Local beachy coffee & wine shop by day; wine bar by night. Fresh baked pastries, breakfast sandwiches all day. Grab-n-Go salads, cheeses, hummus. $ BW K TO B L D Daily The CRAFT PIZZA CO., 240 Third St. N., Neptune Beach, 853-6773, thecraftpizzaco.com. F Al Mansur’s new place has innovative pies made with locally sourced ingredients.

Dine inside or out. $$ BW L D Daily CRUISERS GRILL, 319 23rd Ave. S., 270-0356, cruisersgrill. com. Locally owned & operated 20+ years. Half-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, big salads, award-winning cheddar fries, sangria. $ BW K TO L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001, europeanstreet.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner.

SEE RIVERSIDE.

LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 6586 GA. Hwy. 40 B6, St. Marys, 912-576-7006. F SEE ORANGE PARK. OUTERBANKS SPORTS BAR & GRILLE, 140 The Lakes Blvd., Ste. H, Kingsland, 912-729-5499. Fresh seafood, burgers, steaks, wings. $$ FB TO D Nightly SALT.PEPPER.THYME, 105 N. Lee St., Kingsland, 912-510-0444, saltpepperthyme.net. Varied American Southern fare in an elegant setting. Dine in or out. $$ BW K TO L W; L & D Th-Sa

DOWNTOWN

BELLWETHER, 100 N. Laura St., 802-7745, bellwetherjax.com. Elevated Southern classics in an understated setting, with chef/owner Jon Insetta’s focus on flavors, and chef Kerri Rogers’ culinary creativity. The Northeast Florida menu changes seasonally. Rotating local craft beers, regional spirits, cold brew coffee program. $$ FB TO L M-F CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth, 356-8282, casadoraitalian.com.

F Serving Italian fare, 40+ years: veal, seafood, pizza.

Homemade salad dressing. $ BW K L M-F; D M-Sa OLIO MARKET, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com.

F Scratch soups, sandwiches. Duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L M-F; D F & Sa SPLIFF’S GASTROPUB, 15 N. Ocean St., 844-5000, spliffsgastropub.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Music venue has munchie apps, mac & cheese dishes, pockets, gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches. HH M-F. $ BW L D M-Sa URBAN GRIND COFFEE COMPANY, 45 W. Bay, Ste. 102, 516-7799, urbangrind.coffee. Locally roasted whole bean brewed coffees, espressos, pastries, smoothies, bagels.

Chicken/tuna salad, sandwiches. WiFi. $ B L M-F URBAN GRIND EXPRESS, 50 W. Laura St., 516-7799.

SEE ABOVE. ZODIAC BAR & GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283, thezodiacbarandgrill.com. 16+ years. Mediterranean cuisine, American fare, paninis, vegetarian dishes. Lunch buffet. Espressos, hookahs. HH M-F. $ FB L M-F; D W-Sa

FLEMING ISLAND

GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 1915 East-West Pkwy., 541-0009. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. MOJO SMOKEHOUSE, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE AVONDALE. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteysfishcamp.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Real fish camp. Gator tail, freshwater catfish, daily specials, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar. Come by boat, bike or car. $ FB K TO L Tu-Su; D Nightly

BIG SHOTS!

ASHLEY HUNTER

Bearded Buffalo Brewing Co. 1012 King St. • Riverside

Born in: Jacksonville Years in Biz: 5 Favorite Bar: Keg & Coin (Riverside) Favorite Beer Style: Anything local & local ingredients Go-To Ingredients: New Zealand hops & tea Hangover Cure: Brunch yoga Will Not Cross My Lips: Barleywines... all of them Insider’s Secret: Get the garlic knots Celebrity Sighting At Your Bar: Bearded Bison When You Say "The Usual": Bartender’s choice

FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & TEQUILA BAR, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680, flyingiguana.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Latin American: tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana fare. 100+ tequilas. $ FB TO L D Daily GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925, gustojax.com. Classic Old World Roman fare, big Italian menu: homestyle pasta, beef, chicken, fish delicacies; open pizza-tossing kitchen.

Reservations encouraged. $$ FB TO L R D Tu-Su HAWKERS ASIAN STREET FARE, 241 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 425-1025. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 657 Third St. N., 247-9620. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 1534 3rd St. N., 853-6817. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT & BLUES BAR, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE AVONDALE. M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-2599, shackburgers.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes. Dine indoors or out. $$ BW L D Daily NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 1585 N. Third St., 458-1390. 2017 Best of Jax finalist. SEE MANDARIN. RAGTIME TAVERN SEAFOOD & GRILL, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F 34 years and counting, the iconic seafood place serves blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily HH, brunch Sun. $$ FB L D Daily WHISKEY JAX, 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy., 853-5973.

SEE BAYMEADOWS.

CAMDEN COUNTY, GEORGIA

CAPTAIN STAN’S SMOKEHOUSE, 700 Bedell Dr., Woodbine, 912-729-9552. Barbecue, sides, hot dogs, burgers, desserts.

Dine in or out on picnic tables. $$ FB K TO L & D Tu-Sa

INTRACOASTAL WEST

AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. 30 years of awesome gourmet pizza, baked dishes. All day HH M-Th. $ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

MANDARIN + NW ST. JOHNS

AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE INTRACOASTAL. ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199, athenscafejax.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. 20+ years of Greek fare, serving dolmades (stuffed grape leaves), baby shoes (stuffed eggplant), Greek beers. Vegetarian-friendly.

Full bar. Early bird menu Mon.-Fri. $$ FB L M-F; D M-Sa CRUISERS GRILL, 5613 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 1, 737-2874.

SEE BEACHES. FIRST COAST DELI & GRILL, 6082 St. Augustine Rd., 733-7477.

Pancakes, bacon, sandwiches, burgers, wings. $ K TO B L Daily JAX DINER, 5065 St. Augustine Rd., 739-7070, jaxdiner.com.

Simple name, simple concept: Local. Chef Roderick “Pete” Smith, a local culinary expert with nearly 20 years under his apron, uses locally sourced ingredients from area farmers, vendors and the community for American and Southern dishes. Seasonal brunch. $ K TO B L M-F, D F METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO BAR-B-QUE, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200, mojobbq.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE AVONDALE. NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. F 2017 Best of Jax finalist. Organic soups, baked items, sandwiches,

PINT-SIZED

A look back at how CRAFT BEER changed in 2017

BEER IN REVIEW IT’S THE LAST FW ISSUE OF THE YEAR AND therefore the last Pint Sized column in 2017. It was a year of change, for better and for worse. On one hand, the art of craft beer production reached new heights. On the other, several high-profile acquisitions stunned true believers. And so, this 2017 craft beer retrospect.

Craft brewery growth continued, albeit at a somewhat slower pace.

According to Brewers Association, as 2017 fades out, there are more than 6,000 breweries, and 83 percent of adults of drinking age in the U.S. live within 10 miles of one. This growth builds the economy with nearly a half-million jobs and almost $68 billion. In addition, craft breweries donated more than $73 million to charitable causes in 2017.

In April, the owner of The Boston Beer Company–the mother company of Samuel Adams–made a splash with an op-ed in The New York Times. In the article, Jim Koch raised the specter of an imminent collapse of the craft beer bubble. He based his speculation on the recent consolidation of SABMiller and AB InBev that essentially created one mega-brewer controlling the lion’s share of beer production and sales.

He lamented the current trend of craft brewers selling to the duopoly, writing, “Drinkers buying cute-sounding brands like Goose Island or Terrapin or Ten Barrel are often unaware that these brands … are now just subsidiaries of AB InBev or Molson Coors.”

In May, two major players rocked the craft beer world with a story just like that–they’d sold to big beer. Lagunitas Brewing Company, California’s bad boys of craft beer, announced that Heineken had owned a 50 percent stake in the company since September 2015; the other 50 percent was being sold to the

OVERSET seeing what they have and how fast they can engrave.

Marc Wisdom marc@folioweekly.com

Dutch company–the whole shebang was going to the Amsterdam boys. In a stunning, surprising turn of events, Asheville brewer Wicked Weed Brewing announced it had been acquired by AB InBev. The news triggered dozens of reports of sellers pouring the beer out–even WW’s popular Funk Fest was canned as brewers pulled out.

In June, housing news website Curbed published an in-depth article extolling the virtues of craft breweries in piddling towns and neighborhoods. The article went into great detail about how breweries like Cleveland’s Great Lakes Brewing Company brought a downtrodden neighborhood back to life; it’s now a thriving district known as Ohio City. The same resurgence is evident in Jacksonville’s Springfield Historic District, with the opening of Hyperion Brewing Company–the first of two breweries to open in Springfield in 2017—in May. To help differentiate craft beer from crafty beer, the Brewers Association began a campaign in July to certify “Independent Craft Brewers” with a seal and logo depicting an upside-down beer bottle. The art represents how craft beer has turned the brewing industry on its head.

In August, another craft beer favorite, South Florida’s Funky Buddha Brewery, was snapped up by a conglomerate—New York’s Constellation Brands, owners of Corona.

While not all of 2017’s news was good, it was a busy year for beer-lovers. Northeast Florida’s brewery numbers expanded exponentially with the addition of eight beer-making establishments.

So with optimism and thirst, let’s raise our mugs, steins, barrels, whatever–here’s to an interesting and prosperous 2018.

Marc Wisdom marc@folioweekly.com

PINT-SIZED BREWERS’ COMMUNITY

ALE WIFE

1035 Park St. Jacksonville, FL 32204

BUYGO

22 S. Eighth St. Fernandina Beach, FL 32034

TOTAL WINE

4413 Town Center Pkwy. #300 Jacksonville, FL 32246 DECEMBER 27, 2017-JANUARY 2, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23

DINING DIRECTORY BITE-SIZED

And it is AWESOME

THE BEARDED PIG in San Marco serves up fresh barbecue meat dishes as well as offering some vegetarian meals. photo by Madison Gross

OVERSET

CULTURES

COLLIDE

IN RIVERSIDE IF YOU HAVEN’T VISITED URBAN CORNER-ASIAN Fusion, get your chopsticks out and head to 5 Points to try its tasty, inexpensive menu featuring signature Vietnamese and Korean flavors.

Urban Corner is one of few places that serves pho in Riverside. They offer small ($8.50) and large ($9.50) sizes of the flavorful soup, which may be one of the most perfect meals, leaving you satisfied without making you feel too full. The giant bowl has noodles, your choice of protein—ranging from shrimp to tripe (I go with the rare steak)—and a plate of veggies and herbs, such as bean sprouts, sliced onions, jalapenos, basil and culantro (cilantro’s longer, leafier and stronger-tasting cousin). Even if spicy’s not your thing, throw in a slice or two of jalapeno! It adds a little kick to round out the flavorful broth—but not enough heat to make you cry. You’ll also find hoisin, sriracha, fish and/or soy sauce on the table at most places. Use chopsticks or a fork, but don’t leave a drop of broth in that bowl!

URBAN CORNER - ASIAN FUSION 820 Lomax St., Riverside, 683-2882

One of the more fun menu sections is “Vermicelli – Bún.” Bún usually refers to a rice noodle dish that includes a protein and a sliced, fried spring roll. My Pork Bún ($8.95) was delicious.

Don’t be fooled by the wafts of fresh mint; I promise it will not taste like toothpaste. From the bottom up, there’s chopped lettuce and mint leaves covered with warm vermicelli noodles, then fresh veggies, like carrots, thinly sliced pork and egg roll. The noodles are undressed, but the pork’s slightly sweet peanut taste (reminiscent of pad Thai) dresses it up quite well. Kick it up a notch by dipping the noodles into the accompanying bowl of light, fragrant fish sauce with carrots. Don’t let that slightly funky flavor fool you; the combo of noodles, fish sauce, crunchy spring roll or rich pork fat gives you an amazing taste and texture in each bite.

Urban Corner’s Korean offerings include bulgogi ($10.95), a favorite dish in the cuisine. The thinly sliced beef (which is slightly oily) is piled high with equally thinly sliced roasted onions and carrots and served piping hot on a cast-iron plate. You may be super-hungry but, dear reader, I ask on behalf of your taste buds that you wait a moment before digging in. You need to be able to taste the ginger and brown sugar.

For an on-the-go option, commit to a banh mi and a boba tea. For $3.99, you get a vegan banh mi with tofu, and it’s pretty dang delicious. For meateaters, there’s beef ($4.99) or pork ($3.99). Banh mis feature pickled veggies and protein on a French style baguette, one of the culinary influences from the French occupation of Vietnam.

Vietnamese food is the perfect cuisine when you’re sick (or hungover—you know how you do). Keep that in mind as we go through the holiday (sickness/drinking) season. There’s no place like home, and there’s nothing like pho, to help you feel better faster.

Brentley Stead biteclub@folioweekly.com

prepared foods. Juice, smoothie, coffee bar. All-natural beer/ wine. $ BW TO K B L D Daily

ORANGE PARK

THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959, hilltop-club.com.

Southern fine dining. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. Extensive bourbon selection. $$$ FB D Tu-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 165, 276-7370.

1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 15, 272-3553. 5733 Roosevelt Blvd., 446-9500. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove, 284-7789, larryssubs.com. F Larry’s piles ’em high, serves ’em fast; 36+ years. Hot & cold subs, soups.

Some Larry’s serve breakfast. $ K TO B L D Daily METRO DINER, 2034 Kingsley Ave., 375-8548. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. The ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611, roadhouseonline.net. Sandwiches, wings, burgers, quesadillas for 35+ years. 75+ imported beers. Live music. $ FB L D Daily SPRING PARK COFFEE, 328 Ferris St., Green Cove Springs, 531-9391, springparkcoffee.com. Cozy shop; fresh-roasted Brass Tacks coffee, handcrafted hot & cold drinks, specialty lattes, cappuccino, macchiato, teas, pastries, sandwiches, breakfast. $ B L D Daily

PONTE VEDRA BEACH

AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A, 543-1494. F 2017 Best of Jax winner.

SEE INTRACOASTAL. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 830 A1A N., Ste. 6, 273-3993. F SEE ORANGE PARK. M SHACK NOCATEE, 641 Crosswater Pkwy., 395-3575. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE BEACHES. METRO DINER, 340 Front St., Ste. 700, 513-8422. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE SAN MARCO.

RIVERSIDE, 5 PTS + WESTSIDE

13 GYPSIES, 887 Stockton St., 389-0330, 13gypsies.com.

2017 Best of Jax winner. Authentic Mediterranean cuisine: chorizo, tapas, blackened cod, pork skewers, coconut mango curry chicken. Breads from scratch. $$ BW L D Tu-Sa, R Sa AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., Ste. 201, 388-8384. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE INTRACOASTAL. BIG OAK BBQ & CATERING, 1948 Henley Rd., Middleburg, 214-3041. 1440 Dunn Ave., 757-2225, bigoakbbqfl.com.

Family-owned-and-operated barbecue joints have smoked chicken, pulled pork, ribs, sides and stumps, which sounds damn good. $$ K TO L D M-Sa BLACK SHEEP, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, blacksheep5points. com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. New American, Southern; local source ingredients. Specials, rooftop bar. HH. $$$ FB R Sa & Su; L M-F; D Nightly BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 869 Stockton St., Ste. 1, 855-1181, boldbeancoffee.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner.

Small-batch, artisanal approach to sourcing and roasting single-origin, direct-trade coffees. Signature blends, handcrafted syrups, espressos, craft beers. $ BW TO B L Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412, cornertaco.com.

Made-from-scratch “Mexclectic street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free, vegetarian options. $ BW L D Tu-Su CUMMER CAFÉ, Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummer.org. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Light lunch, quick bites, locally roasted coffee, espresso-based drinks, sandwiches, desserts, daily specials.

Dine in or in gardens. $ BW K L D Tu; L W-Su EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 2753 Park St., 384-9999.

2017 Best of Jax winner. 130+ import beers, 20 on tap.

Sandwiches. Dine outside at some E-Sts. $ BW K L D Daily 24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 27, 2017-JANUARY 2, 2018

GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner.

Juice bar uses certified organic fruits, veggies. Artisanal cheeses, 300 craft, import beers, 50 organic wines, produce, meats, vitamins, herbs, wraps, sides, sandwiches. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS ASIAN STREET FARE, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Authentic dishes from mobile stalls: BBQ pork char sui, beef haw fun, Hawkers baos, chow faan, grilled Hawker skewers. $ BW TO L D Daily IL DESCO, 2665 Park St., 290-6711, ildescojax.com. Authentic Italian cuisine; wood-fired pizzas, pasta, baked Italian dishes, raw bar, spaghetti tacos. Daily HH. $$-$$$ FB K TO L D Daily JOHNNY’S DELI & GRILLE, 474 Riverside Ave., 356-8055.

F Casual spot offers made-to-order sandwiches, wraps. $ TO B L M-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1509 Margaret St., 674-2794. 7895 Normandy Blvd., 781-7600. 8102 Blanding Blvd., 779-1933.

F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., 999-4600. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442.

F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. M SHACK, 1012 Margaret St., 423-1283. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE BEACHES. SOUTHERN ROOTS FILLING STATION, 1275 King St., 513-4726, southernrootsjax.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Fresh vegan fare; local, organic ingredients. Specials, on bread, local greens/rice, change daily. Sandwiches, coffees, teas. $ Tu-Su SUN-RAY CINEMA, 1028 Park St., 359-0047, sunraycinema.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. First-run, indie and art films screened. Beer, local drafts, wine, pizza–Godbold, Black Lagoon Supreme–hot dogs, hummus, sandwiches, popcorn, nachos, brownies. $$ BW Daily SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside Ave., Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushicafejax.com. F Monster, Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll.

Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. Inside/patio. $$ BW L D Daily

ST. AUGUSTINE

AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE INTRACOASTAL. The CORAZON CINEMA & CAFE, 36 Granada St., 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com. Sandwiches, combos, salads and pizza are served at the cinema house, showing indie and first-run movies. $$ Daily CRUISERS GRILL, 3 St. George St., 824-6993. SEE BEACHES. THE FLORIDIAN, 72 Spanish St., 829-0655, thefloridianstaug.com. Updated Southern fare; fresh, local ingredients. Vegetarian, gluten-free options. Signature fried green tomato bruschetta, blackened fish cornbread stack; grits w/shrimp/fish/tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D W-M GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F 34+ years. Varied urban cuisine menu changes twice daily. Signature: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. $$ FB R Su; L D Daily MARDI GRAS SPORTS BAR, 123 San Marco Ave., 347-3288, mardibar.com. Lively spot has wings, nachos, shrimp, chicken, Phillys, sliders, soft pretzels. $$ FB TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 1000 S. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 758-3323. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO OLD CITY BBQ, 5 Cordova St., 342-5264, mojobbq. com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE AVONDALE. SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 321 A1A, 217-3256. SEE BEACHES. WOODPECKER’S BACKYARD BBQ, 4930 S.R. 13, 531-5670, woodpeckersbbq.weebly.com. Smoked fresh daily. Brisket, ribs, pork, sausage, turkey: in sandwiches, plates by the pound. 8 sauces, 10 sides. $$ TO L D Tu-Su

SAN MARCO + SOUTHBANK

THE BEARDED PIG SOUTHERN BBQ & BEER GARDEN, 1224 Kings Ave., 619-2247, thebeardedpigbbq.com. 2017 Best of Jax finalist. Barbecue joint Southern style: brisket, pork, chicken, sausage, beef; veggie platters. $$ BW K TO Daily BISTRO AIX, 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox.com. F Mediterranean/French inspired menu changes seasonally. 250+ wines. Wood-fired oven-baked, grilled specialties: pizza, pasta, risotto, steaks, seafood.

Hand-crafted cocktails, specialty drinks. Dine outside.

HH M-F. $$$ FB L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 1905 Hendricks Ave. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 398-9500.

2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusionsushijax.com. F Upscale; fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, katsu, seafood. $$ K L D Daily HAVANA-JAX CAFÉ/CUBA LIBRE BAR, 2578 Atlantic Blvd., 399-0609, havanajax.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner.

Bite Club certified. Cuban sandwiches are the real thing: big, thick, flattened. Traditional fare: black beans & rice, plantains, steaks, seafood, chicken & rice, roast pork.

Spanish wine, drink specials, mojitos, Cuba libres. Nonstop HH. $ FB K L D Daily KITCHEN ON SAN MARCO, 1402 San Marco Blvd., 396-2344, kitchenonsanmarco.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Gastropub serves local, national craft beers, specialty cocktails. Seasonal menu, with fresh, locally sourced ingredients. $$ FB R Su; L D Daily METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metrodinercom. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Original upscale diner in a historic 1930s-era building. Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, soups. This one serves dinner nightly. $$ B R L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco Blvd., 398-3005, tavernasanmarco.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Chef Sam Efron’s authentic Italian; tapas, wood-fired pizza. Seasonal local produce, meats. Craft beer (some local), award-winning wine. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily

SOUTHSIDE + TINSELTOWN

ALHAMBRA THEATRE & DINING, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner.

Open 50 years. Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus.

Reservations. $$ FB D Tu-Su EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717.

2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. LARRY’S SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F SEE ORANGE PARK. MARIANAS GRINDS, 11380 Beach Blvd., Ste. 10, 206-612-6596. Pacific Islander fare, chamorro culture.

Soups, stews, fitada, beef oxtail, katden pika; empanadas, lumpia, chicken relaguen, BBQ-style ribs, chicken. $$ TO B L D Tu-Su M SHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE BEACHES.

SPRINGFIELD + NORTHSIDE

ANDY’S GRILL, 1810 W. Beaver St., 354-2821, jaxfarmersmarket.com. 2017 Best of Jax finalist. Inside Jax Farmers Market. Local, regional, international produce.

Breakfast, sandwiches. $ B L D M-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 12001 Lem Turner Rd., 764-9999.

SEE ORANGE PARK. UPTOWN KITCHEN & BAR, 1303 Main St. N., 355-0734, uptownmarketjax.com. Bite Club certified. Fresh fare, innovative menus, farm-to-table selections, daily specials. $$ BW TO B L Daily

CHEFFED-UP CHEFFED UP Begin the New Year with a FRESH START and a bellyful

BOGGED DOWN WITH

RESOLUTIONS REMEMBER THE SONG LYRIC “another year older and deeper in debt” from “Sixteen Tons” by Tennessee Ernie Ford? I can sort of relate. I’m another year older, but the debt part—I don’t know, it’s kinda hard to say since I still haven’t paid my accountant for last year’s audit.

One thing’s sure, though, the year’s end means it’s time to perform the ritual of listing New Year’s resolutions.

I’ve been thinking about mine for a few weeks; not because my life is a complete downer like the song implies, but rather because of a hysterical article I recently read in some healthy-living rag.

While lounging at Bold Bean sipping cappuccino (I’m so bourgeois), I was particularly entertained by a column on how not to spoil your pathetic, unhappy, unfulfilling Spartan lifestyle at holiday parties. My favorite bit of advice was to always eat a meal beforehand so you won’t be tempted to overeat and ruin your healthful routine.

My immediate thought, which made me snicker, was what if you exchanged booze for food? Yes, before going to holiday parties, it’s a good idea to have a few drinks! That way you won’t be tempted to drink at the party! Yeah, that’ll work—just arrive half-lit, no way you’ll want more! Great advice. I love healthyliving magazines.

My New Year’s resolutions begin with a vow to come clean with y’all on some of my weaknesses. Weakness No. 1: I have a memory like a colander. Weakness No. 2: I can’t think of another flaw (see weakness No. 1), unless you include my unquenchable affection for bacon fat.

My second resolution is to fulfill the promises I do remember making, and a while back I promised y’all a recipe for a chicken bog. This is a perfect dish for the chilly days ahead. Be cautious, though: Most chicken bogs are nothing more than a basic shoemaker stew begging to be Cheffed Up. As I’m sure your New Year’s resolution is to Chef Up all your meals in 2018, begin with this, best served with Congaree and Penn’s middlins.

CHEF BILL’S CHICKEN BOG

Ingredients • 1 knob butter • 2 tbsp. olive oil • 1 whole chicken, the best available, • cut 8 ways • 1/2 pound Andouille, sliced • in half-moons • 2 medium leeks, thoroughly washed, • sliced in half-moons • 1 tbsp. garlic, minced • 1 Serrano pepper, diced • 2-inch piece of ginger, grated • 2 cups pearl onions, blanched • and peeled • 1/2 oz. dried porcini mushrooms, • rehydrated and chopped • 2 cups diced tomatoes • 2 oz. Madeira • 3 oz. white wine • 1 bouquet garni (thyme, parsley, bay leaf) • 24 oz. chicken broth • Salt and pepper to taste

OVERSET

Directions 1. Season chicken with salt and pepper.

1. Brown in butter and olive oil over 1. medium heat. Remove, lower heat 1. slightly, add leeks.

2. Sweat until soft and add garlic, ginger 1. and Serrano. Continue to sweat for 1. 2 to 3 minutes.

3. Deglaze with Madeira and reduce 1. au sec. Add white wine and reduce 1. by half.

4. Add chicken broth, bouquet garni, 1. mushrooms, tomatoes, pearl onions 1. and chicken.

5. Bring to a low simmer, cover and 1. cook for 40 minutes or until the 1. chicken is cooked through and tender.

6. Remove chicken and shred into 1. medium-sized pieces. Return to broth 1. and adjust the seasoning.

Until we cook again,

Chef Bill Thompson cheffedup@folioweekly.com ___________________________________ Contact Chef Bill, owner of The Amelia Island Culinary Academy, at cheffedup@folioweekly. com to find inspiration and get you Cheffed Up!

CHEFFED-UP GROCERS’ COMMUNITY

BUYGO

WHOLE FOODS

ROWE’S

NATIVE SUN

22 S. Eighth St. Fernandina Beach, FL 32034 1670 Wells Rd. Orange Park, FL 32073 8595 Beach Blvd.

Jacksonville, FL 32216

EARTH FARE

11901-250 Atlantic Blvd.

Jacksonville, FL 32225

PUBLIX

1033 A1A Beach Blvd St. Augustine , FL 32080

10601 San Jose Blvd.

Jacksonville, FL 32257 11030 Baymeadows Rd. Jacksonville, FL 32256 10000 San Jose Blvd.

Jacksonville, FL 32257 1585 N. Third St. Jacksonville Beach, FL 32250

THE SAVORY MARKET

474380 S.R.-200 Fernandina Beach, FL 32034

DECEMBER 27, 2017-JANUARY 2, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25

PET PARENTING FOLIO LIVING DEAR

DAVI

SIT, STAY,

ROLL OVER Davi’s ADVICE FOR BIPEDS and canines to thrive in 2018

EVERY NEW YEAR, I MAKE A RESOLUTION or two, and most of the time, I actually keep them.

But this year, I decided to give pointers on how to live life to the fullest each and every day—like a dog. Take a look at some great life lessons a dog can teach you and ramp up your well-being for the New Year.

LIVE LIKE SOMEONE LEFT THE GATE OPEN

Being a dog myself, I know the feeling of running at top speed, tongue hanging out, without a care in the world—that’s freedom!

Strive to find moments of pure freedom in your day. Smell the roses. Close your eyes, breathe the fresh air. Put down your phone and fully experience living in the present.

SIT, STAY AND LISTEN

My ears perk up every time my mom starts talking to me. I listen, paying close attention to what she’s saying, and while I may not understand most of her words, it’s safe to say I’m not going to spill her secrets. The same is not always true for human friends. So prick up those ears when someone’s telling you about a problem. Practice really listening and pay attention to what they say, rather than thinking about what you’ll bark next—or what treats you’ll get later. Listening is key to strong and lasting relationships, something we dogs know well.

outings are chances to meet new dogs and sniff different things. Get out there and embrace the opportunity to go places, meet new people and appreciate the little things in life.

ENJOY EATING

I don’t just eat my food: I enjoy every bite.

Food doesn’t have to be just a source of energy; it can be a source of pleasure. Steal a page from your dog’s playbook and excitedly spin around in circles before feeding time!

Instead of heating up leftovers again, make yourself a meal or snack you’ll truly enjoy.

Having delicious meals can be among the most satisfying ways to celebrate life.

FORGIVE AND FORGET

I’ve had my tail stepped on, my dew claw nipped and even my snout slammed in the door—ouch—but seconds later, it’s over—no grudges, no hard feelings. I went right back to playing as if nothing had happened. Dogs live in the moment and we don’t always recall specific moments when our feelings were hurt. Take a cue from your canine and choose to forgive, forget and move on. Being bitter only holds up your life. Don’t get left behind because you’re holding a grudge. Forgive.

And be thankful for all you have this year. Take time each day to reflect on one thing you have, one thing you’re grateful for.

And celebrate all the wonderful people and pets in your life.

Davi mail@folioweekly.com ____________________________________ May your bowl always be filled, your tail always wagging and your year full of walks in the park and belly rubs. Love, Davi

GREET ENTHUSIASTICALLY

I always give a warm welcome and excited tail-wagging whether my mom has been gone for five hours or five minutes!

Appreciating your loved ones isn’t just something we feel, it’s also something we do and show. And what better way to show them you care than by greeting them with a big hug or a wet smooch when they arrive home?

TAKE A HIKE

Dogs are always up for an adventure and love to be out in the world. Even ordinary

PET TIP: BORN TO BE WILD THOUGH BRED TO BE DOMESTIC, THE BENGAL CAT IS NO COUCH SPUD. Bengals are among the most active and highly intelligent breeds, with the instincts and the looks to fare rather well in the jungle and the family room.

If not consistently entertained by their owners, though, Bengals will turn elsewhere for fun–they’re playas. Don’t be shocked when you find George of the Jungle dangling from the chandelier, reaching for Mr. Bubbles in his tank. Your part in this?

Let him run wild–within reason.

26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 27, 2017-JANUARY 2, 2018

ANASTASIA BOOKS

76A San Marco Ave. | 904-827-0075 Buy, sell or trade collectibles with our Florida and military histories, bios, art, religion, classics, even x-large editions of Harry Potter!

HIGH TIDE GALLERY

76B San Marco Ave. | 904-829-6831 New location for the New Year, at 850 Anastasia Blvd! Local, coastal and happy art and gifts from St. Augustine artists exclusively! Very beachy!

NEFF JEWELERS

7 Rohde Ave. | 904-829-5003 Custom and contemporary designs. Finest, sparkling and colorful jewelry selection around.

COOL & COLLECTED

67 San Marco Ave. | 904-824-6113 See our unique, vintage finds from the 1930s through the 80s. Retro, fun items of every size and shape!

ANCHOR BOUTIQUE

77 San Marco Ave. | 904-808-7078 Unique and stylish jewelry and custom engagement rings plus organic makeup and skincare by owners/designers Laurel and Jennifer!

ANTIQUES & THINGS

62 San Marco Ave. | 904-829-0544 Large variety of eclectic, contemporary antique and vintage treasures for every kind of collecter!

360 BOUTIQUE

50 San Marco Ave. | 904-342-4064 A fresh and affordable selection of unique clothes, shoes, jewelry and gifts!

COASTAL TRADERS

56A San Marco Ave. | 904-460-2248 Artistic, high-quality collection of affordable imports from Indonesia.

RAINTREE RESTAURANT

102 San Marco Ave. | 904-824-7211 Casual Uptown Dining with the freshest southern flair...under twinkling patio lights just across from the giant mission cross!

CARRERA WINE CELLAR

35 San Marco Ave. | 904-217-4751 Shop, sip and learn at our comfy, casual wine cellar store and lounge.

Tastings encouraged!

DECEMBER 27, 2017-JANUARY 2, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27

FREEWILL ASTROLOGY

DALE RATERMANN’s Folio Weekly Crossword presented by

PAISLEY, CORPUSCLES, KUFUNGUA & KICKING YOUR OWN ASS

Serving Excellence Since 1928 Member American Gem Society

San Marco 2044 San Marco Blvd.

398-9741

Ponte Vedra

THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA

330 A1A North 280-1202

Avondale 3617 St. Johns Ave. 388-5406

FOLIO WEEKLY CROSSWORD 1

2

3

4

5

6

13

7

8

9

10

11

12

15

14

17

16 18

19

22

23

25

26

28

29 31

20 24 27

32

33

34

37

41

46

48

50

39

43

45

47

35

38

42

44

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In the Scots language spoken in Lowland Scotland, a watergaw is a fragmented rainbow that appears between clouds. A skafer is a faint rainbow that arises behind a mist, presaging the imminent dissipation of the mist. A silk napkin is a splintered rainbow that heralds the arrival of brisk wind and rain. In accordance with astrological omens, use these mysterious phenomena as symbols of power in 2018. The good fortune coming to you will be partially veiled and seemingly incomplete.

Don’t compare it to a “perfect” ideal. It’ll be more interesting and inspiring.

30

36 40

21

49 52

51

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In 2018, halfburied residues resurface as influences in your life. Old dreams you abandoned prematurely are ripe to be re-evaluated in light of what’s happened since you last took them seriously.

Are these good or bad developments? It will depend on your ability to be charitable and expansive as you deal with them. One thing’s certain: To move into the future, update your relationships with these residues and dreams.

53

55

54

57

56

ACROSS

36 ___ Hatter

38 Asian nurse

34 Disclaim

31 Hesitates

37 Part of MPG

39 Yankee hater

35 Fills to excess

37 Mutilate

38 See 23-Across

10 Luau hellos

37 Jury member

13 Door toppers

40 Sir’s partner

11 With resolute spirit

39 Some are high

15 Response delay

42 Icemen ticket info

12 Site of a pyramid

40 Resolution Run

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Poet Diane Ackerman tells us that human tongues, lips and genitals possess ultra-responsive neural receptors. Anatomists have given unsexy names to these body parts: Krause end bulbs, aka bulboid corpuscles. In any case, these sweet spots enable us to experience surpassing pleasure.

According to my understanding of astrological omens for 2018, your personal complement of bulboid corpuscles will be more sensitive than usual. Good news: Your soul will have a heightened capacity to receive and register delight.

16 Tirana site

43 Aware of

17 Pre-med class

44 Ga. neighbor

14 Mexican shawls

18 Soot

45 Library supporter

15 Hosiery shade

19 Slop container

46 Stir up

20 Folio Weekly column

42 Shave sheep

21 With it, once

47 Tizzy

24 Payment methods

44 The Big Guava

22 Dole (out)

48 LP player

27 See 23-Across

45 JTA handhold

23 With 27-Down and

49 Twofold

30 Financial holdings

48 zencog.com, e.g.

50 Sweet wine

32 Jag foe

51 Helm heading

comment made on

52 Firm, at Casa Dora

33 Bit of Pekoe

53 Cotillion gal

the date depicted

54 ___ fasciitis

by the puzzle’s

55 More intense

yellow squares

56 Slumbering

38-Across,

24 Bold City

57 Fixate

Brewery need 25 Picnic pests

DOWN

26 Foil alternative

31 Blood fluids

27 Like a snoop

32 Sicknesses

28 Put aboard

33 Open, in a way

29 FAU color

34 Clinton or Rice, e.g.

30 Pig’s digs

35 Poet’s dusk

31 Night sounds

36 Moved like a snake

33 Jax skyscrapers

37 Dull and dirty

awards

scheme?

41 Battery-terminal related

SOLUTION TO 12.20.17 PUZZLE M O P U P

S T A R R

R O L L A

V E T O

I M A X

X I I I

M E D S

E R I E

N I C E

28 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 27, 2017-JANUARY 2, 2018

P E E

D O N I N N C E O A R E N C L C O D I Z A N I N E N E C S E S R

U S A I R C A M E L C O W

T C H A G E D I R S E C W I L R O T A U P I D S A S E T S S H S B L I K E E P O L I F T G I S H

D A S H E R

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “I need more smart allies, compassionate supporters, ethical role models and loyal friends, and I need them right now!” writes Joanna K., an Aries reader from Albuquerque. Then there’s Jacques T., an Aries from Montreal. “To my amazement, I actually have much of the support and assistance I need,” he declares. “What I seem to need more of are constructive critics, fair-minded competitors with integrity, colleagues and loved ones who don’t assume every little thing I do is perfect, and adversaries who galvanize me to get better.” In 2018, you benefit more than usual from the influences Joanna and Jacques mention.

O L E O

F I V E

F E E S

I C B O A N H T Z A A P E P S A

A R A T

N O R A

E N T E R

N O S E S

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Mise en place is a French term whose literal translation is “putting in place.” When used by professional chefs in a restaurant kitchen, it refers to gathering and organizing all ingredients and tools before beginning to cook. It’s a great metaphor to emphasize throughout 2018. In every area of your life, thorough preparation is key to success and fulfillment. Make sure you have everything you need before launching any new enterprise or creative effort.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Experimental composer Harry Partch played one-of-akind musical instruments he made from stuff like car hubcaps, gourds, aluminum ketchup bottles, and airplane nose cones. Collage artist Jason Mecier fashions celebrity portraits using noodles, pills, licorice candy, bacon and lipstick tubes. Given 2018’s astrological configurations, you may flourish by adopting a similar strategy in your chosen field. Your most interesting successes could arise by using things as they’re not “supposed” to be used. Further your goals by mixing and matching resources.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I wish I could make it nice and easy for you. I wish I could proclaim the forces of darkness are lined up against the forces of light. I’d like to advise you that the first few months of 2018 bring a showdown between wrong and right, ugliness and beauty. But it just ain’t that simple. It’s more like the forces of plaid queue up against the forces of paisley. The showdown will feature two equally flawed and equally appealing sources of intrigue. What’s the most honorable role to play? Should you lend support to one side or the other?

Create a third side.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In 2018, your tribe will be extra skilled at opening things shut or sealed for a long time: heavy doors, treasure boxes, rich possibilities, buried secrets, shy eyes, mum mouths, guarded hearts and insular minds. You’ll have a knack for initiating new markets, clearing blocked passageways and staging grand openings. You’re more inclined to speak candidly and freely than past Scorpio generations. Getting stuck things unstuck comes naturally. Being available for bighearted fun and games will be your specialty. You should get a new nickname, like Apertura (Italian for “opening”), Ouverture (French for “opening”), šiši (Yoruban), Öffnung (German), or Kufungua (Swahili).

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I predict the coming months won’t bring the kinds of opportunities you imagined and expected, but opportunities you haven’t imagined and didn’t expect.

Will you be alert and receptive to these sly divergences from the master plan? If so, by September 2018 you’ll be as smart a gambler as you’ve ever been. You’ll be more flexible and adaptable, too, which means you’ll be better able to get what you want without breaking stuff. Congratulations in advance, my daring darling.

May your experiments be visionary and practical. May your fiery intentions be steady and fluidic.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Hungarian psychiatrist Thomas Szasz dismissed the idea that a person should be on a quest to “find himself” or “find herself.” “The self is not something that one finds,” he said. Rather, “it is something one creates.” That’s great advice in 2018. There’s little value in wandering around searching for fantastic clues about who you were born to be. Simply be gungho as you shape and craft you into who you want to be.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Is there anything about your attitude or approach that’s a bit immature or unripe? Have you in some way remained an amateur or apprentice when you should or could have become professional by now? Still a dabbler in a field where you could be a connoisseur or master? If you answer any of these “Yes,” the months ahead will be a great time to grow up, climb higher and try harder. Regard 2018 as the Year of Kicking Your Own Ass. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In 2018, one of your themes will be “secret freedom.”

The muse who whispered this to me didn’t explain. Based on astrological aspects, there are several interpretations. 1. You may have to dig deep and be strategic to access resources with the power to emancipate you. 2. You may discover a rewarding escape and provocative deliverance that have been hidden. 3. You shouldn’t brag about liberations you intend to accomplish until you’ve accomplished them.

4. The exact nature of the freedom valuable to you might be useless, irrelevant or incomprehensible to others.

Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

NEWS OF THE WEIRD ANIMAL ANTICS Dovey the Shar Pei, of Edmond, Oklahoma, might be just a bit jealous of the new baby at his owners’ home. In a classic passiveaggressive move, he settled on stealing pacifiers. Scott Rogers and his wife noticed binkies were disappearing, but it wasn’t until Dovey started vomiting and losing weight in early December that they tracked down the lost items. KFOR-TV reports Dr. Chris Rispoli of Gentle Care Animal Hospital took an X-ray of Dovey’s stomach and saw what he thought were seven to nine pacifiers. But when Rispoli opened Dovey up to remove them, he saw 21 binkies. Turns out, Dovey was taking the pacifiers off the kitchen counter. Talk about eating your emotions!

QUESTIONABLE JUDGMENT Popeye’s preferred diet of spinach to pump up his biceps had to be healthier than what a Russian man has been injecting. Kirill Tereshin, 21, from Pyatigorsk in southwestern Russia, concocts a dangerous muscleenhancing solution of olive oil, lidocaine and benzyl alcohol and injects it into his arm muscles, resulting in “bazooka” arms doctors say may become paralyzed or even have to be amputated. Tereshin has so far used six liters of the fluid, and his biceps measure 23 inches; he plans to keep injecting until they reach 27 inches. “I’d like to get more than 1 million subscribers on Instagram and to stop working,” Tereshin told the Daily Mail. He’s considering an offer to be a porn star. “I love to be recognizable.” Who doesn’t want to stop working, but at this price? No, thanks, we’ll keep our Pump Bunny job (pumping gas in a bikini in Ocean City, Maryland circa 1969).

WHAT COULD GO WRONG? It was all fun and games until a drunk, naked man and his (also naked) companion crashed into a tree near La Grande, Washington, on Nov. 22. Washington State Patrol spokeswoman Brooke Bova told The Olympian the couple were engaging in intercourse when the driver missed a curve and left the highway. The woman was

Folio Weekly helps you connect with the paramour of your dreams. Go to folioweekly.com/i-saw-u.html, fill out the FREE form correctly (40 words or fewer, dammit) by 5 p.m. Friday (for the next Wednesday’s FW) – next stop: Bliss!

hospitalized with broken bones, but her 3-month-old child in the backseat was unhurt.

The driver, with three prior DUI convictions, was charged with felony driving under the influence, vehicular assault and endangering a child. Not to mention the scars of seeing a parent “doin’ it.”

THE VOICES IN OUR HEADS In Parkland, Washington, state troopers and Pierce County Sheriffs officers responded to a call on Nov. 25 about a man who’d stopped his SUV in the middle of an intersection, was waving an AK-47 and screaming about “lizard people.” The 54-year-old Eatonville man obeyed when cops ordered him to lie on the ground, but resisted being handcuffed until they tased him. He told them he’d “snorted methamphetamine to lose weight” and that President Donald Trump had called his home to warn him the lizard people were coming and his family members were already being held hostage by the “alpha dragon,” according to The News Tribune. “The lizard people are real,” he told police, explaining he wanted to attract attention so his “story could be documented for history.” Meth or not, it’s not so far-fetched to assume Trumplethinskin might’ve called this dedicated dieter with a bit of VERY TRUE NEWS (hashtag nocollusion).

AWESOME (SAUCE)!

Male residents of Ringaskiddy in Ireland have at least one compelling reason to put down roots there: According to local lore, the nearby Pfi zer plant, where Viagra is produced, emits “love fumes” that give men free erections. “One whiff and you’re stiff,” bartender Debbie O’Grady told The Times of London. Pfizer, however, disputes this; a spokesperson said, “Our manufacturing processes have always been highly sophisticated as well as highly regulated.”

Still, locals speak of a baby boom after the plant opened in 1998, and men apparently regularly gather near the facility to inhale the fumes. A manufacturing process that’s sophisticated and a little sexy, too (wink!). weirdnewstips@amuniversal.com

Dec. 30 is BACON DAY, the one day when no one doubletakes when you order a BLT, extra bacon, hold the lettuce and skip the tomato.

Somewhere out there, your Miss/Mister Piggy awaits! The savory FW editorial staff will make your love life sizzle.

To smoke out your one true love: Go to folioweekly.com/i-saw-u.html and: One:

Write a five-word headline so the person recalls that succulent moment, like: “ISU inhaling pulled pork at The Happy Tomato in the Dirty ’Dina.”

Two: Describe the person, like, “You: Meaty sow with ample loins, rosy cheeks and a pleasant smile.”

Three: Describe yourself, like, “Me: Apple in my mouth, flame in my heart, skin done to a crispy texture.”

Four: Describe the moment, like, “We ate candied bacon and spoke pig latin. I’ve never felt so high on the hog.”

Five: Meet, fall in love, reserve a barbecue pit.* No names, emails, websites, etc. And HEY, it’s 40 words or fewer. Get a love life with Folio Weekly ISUs! HANDSOME ELEVATOR DUDE Rode in elevator with you, leaving. I remember your blue eyes.

We were with friends. I liked you. Let’s have a drink together. Me: tall(er)?, long hair, floral dress, combat boots. Think you wore a suit. When: Dec. 15. Where: River & Post. #1685-1227 BEAUTIFUL DRESS, STOCKINGS You: In cute dress, with bow pattern, black cute-patterned stockings. I sat two tables from you and noticed you walk by me to sit down. We briefly noticed each other as I walked out. When: Dec. 7. Where: JTB Chicken Salad Chick. #1683-1213 AIRPORT CUTIE You: Dark hair, slim, black shirt, gray pants, Nixon backpack. Me: Curvy, curly short hair, leggings, leather backpack. Went to Cali same day; back same day. Wanted convo; didn’t see you. Captivating aura. Who/where are you? Don’t go! When: Nov. 15. Where: Jax Intl.

Airport. #1682-1206 IN PURGATORY WITHOUT YOU You: Working D&B’s counter; took time to find me a cool card. Me: Wearing Purgatory Co. shirt; agreed Purgatory’s a strange name for beautiful place.

I’d love to get lost in your eyes once more. When: Nov. 19. Where: Dave & Buster’s. #1681-1222 HAGAR CONCERT ENCOUNTER We met at Sammy Hagar, talked; you and bro came over. Looked for you again, didn’t find. Tried to find at Jags game; couldn’t. Meet sometime? I’d like that. My name starts with M; yours with T. When: Nov. 11. Where: St. Augustine Amphitheatre. #1680-1122 I THINK WE’RE ALONE NOW Me: Playing guitar, singing at Super Food. You: Entered alone, said you’d stay for one song, asked for my card, last name. I played “I Think We’re Alone Now.” I’m on Facebook. Should’ve asked your number. When: Nov. 1. Where: Super Food & Brew, Downtown. #1679-1108 MAN IN UNIFORM AT TARGET You: In Navy uniform, buying bleach at self-checkout. Me: Laughing at orange makeup with elderly mom.

ISU in parking lot, new black Ram. Severely regret not saying hello. This is worth trying. When: Oct. 31. Where: Target, Beach & Hodges. #1678-1108 SEEKING MY “WOOD” ISU bum a smoke after Florida-Georgia. Noticed your sad eyes, New

Balances, tube socks. We talked. You: Frat boy, pleated shorts; name ends in “wood.” Me: blonde, dirty martini, looking for love in all the wrong places. When: Oct. 29. Where: Mellow Mushroom Avondale. #1677-1108 NURSE ME TO HEALTH You: Misplaced duck living in the inky waters of gator land. Me: Furry, educated, feral. Told me how you left your true love back home. I’d let you hold the leash if we go on walks. When: Oct. 10. Where: Aardwolf Brewery. #1676-1108 HEY WHOOPING COUGH You: Ryan Gosling has nothing on you, esp when it comes to good advice. You said try Robitussin–I’d rather try you.

Me: Getting over a cold, hope I didn’t ruin your movie. Meet for “coughee” sometime? When: Oct. 6. Where: “Blade Runner,” Sun-Ray. #1675-1011 I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU You: Walk your dog near my bush most nights. Thick guy, short legs I’d love to gnaw. Me: Watching you for months.

Tried popping out to say hi last week, but I scared you. Happens sometimes. When: Oct. 3. Where: Ortega. #1673-1011 THINGS I’D LIKE TO DO With you. Take you into the woods. No sleeping bag, no tent. Want to lie under the stars and watch a meteor shower while we talk about nothing and everything.

And wait for the rain. When: Aug. 26. Where: Shantytown. #1672-1004 YOU LOVE ART, MUSIC, NATURE I like slow cooking, good people. Want to stay up all night, play Nintendo, eat junk food, hike outside the city at sunrise; then be too busy to see you for a while.

Or fish. When: Lomax Street. Where: June 11, 2010. #1671-1004 LIGHTNING STRIKE AT MARKET You: Gorgeous brunette, tank top, camo pants, heels, shopping with young son on Saturday. Butcher made you laugh. Me: Serious, cop-looking guy trying to make eye contact. I’d love to shop with you. When: Sept.

16. Where: Earth Fare, Atlantic Blvd. #1670-0920 HURRICANE IRMA COLD BREW In line at Publix stocking up for Irma; you noticed my organic, dark roast cold brew. It piqued your interest, you wanted it, so I gave it to you. But you piqued my interest ...

When: Sept. 5. Where: Riverside Publix. #1669-0920

*or any other appropriate site at which folks can engage in a civil union or marriage or whatever …

DECEMBER 27, 2017-JANUARY 2, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 29

CLASSIFIEDS

YOUR PORTAL TO REACHING 95,000+ READERS WEEKLY HELP WANTED

SERVICES

and Business Logic Development using Web service

data profiling/modeling, create diagrams,

SENIOR BUSINESS INTELLIGENCE ANALYSTS

and WCF, .Net Experience (ASP.Net, C#.NET, WCF.

docum. progress, work w/ dvlpers, liase with

DISH NETWORK-SATELLITE TELEVISION SERVICES.

(Multiple Positions) req’d to design, develop, test &

NET, MVC, LINQ, ADO.Net), JavaScript, IIS App Srvr,

Proj. Mgmt. Req’d: MS in Computer Science,

Now Over 190 channels for ONLY $49.99/mo!

implem. Service Oriented biz. systems architecture

SQL Server, Power Designer, Visio, Ajax. Perf.

Computer Applications, IT/IS/Technology or Engg.

HBO-FREE for one year, FREE Installation, FREE

(ANY), or rltd field plus 2 years of exp. in s/w

Streaming, FREE HD. Add Internet for $14.95 a month.

dvlpmnt, IT proj. mgmt, programming, systems

1-800-373-6508 (AAN CAN)(1/10/17)

analyis or rltd role(s), or alternatively, we will accept a Bachelors degree in one of the above

MISCELLANEOUS

noted fields plus 5 yrs of progressively responsible

DENIED CREDIT?? Work to Repair Your Credit Report

exp. in s/w dvlpmnt, programming, systems analyis

With The Trusted Leader in Credit Repair. Call

or rltd role(s). Mail resumes to Icube Consultancy

Lexington Law for a FREE credit report summary &

Services Inc., Attn: HR, 9838 Baymeadows Rd.

credit repair consultation. 855-620-9426. John C.

#310 Jacksonville, FL 32256.

Heath, Attorney at Law, PLLC, dba Lexington Law Firm.

(AAN CAN)(1/31/18)

DIR, SERVICE LINE DELIVERY: assist w/ Electronic Medical Record Adoption Model (EMRAM) Div;

ADOPTION

provide bus develop’t support to comp manag’t;

PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Call us first.

develop targeted practices aimed at locking in calls/

Living expenses, housing, medical, and ontinued

mtgs for division; assist clients w/ crafting their case

support afterwards. Choose adoptive family of your

studies that demonstrate clinical transformation

choice. Call 24/7. 877-362-2401. (AAN CAN)(1/31/17)

as result of mature EMRAM; provide customers w/

HEALTH

clinical outcomes as result of investing in EMRAM; develop frameworks, methods & tools to support

MAKE THE CALL TO START GETTING CLEAN TODAY.

delivery of serv rel to EMRAM. Min. Req’ts: BS

Free 24/7 Helpline for alcohol & drug addiction

Pharmaceutical Sci, Healthcare Info Tech or rel field or

treatment. Get help! It is time to take your life back!

for equiv plus 2 yrs rel healthcare info tech exp req’d.

Call Now: 855-732-4139. (AAN CAN)(1/31/17)

Send resume & cvr ltr to: Attn: HR, The HCI Group, 6440 Southpoint Parkway, Ste. 300, Jacksonville, FL

PENIS ENLARGEMENT PUMP. Get Stronger & Harder

32216. No emails or tel. EOE.

Erections Immediately. Gain 1-3 Inches Permanently & Safely. Guaranteed Results. FDA Licensed. Free Brochure: 1-800-354-3944 www.DrJoelKaplan.com (AAN CAN)(1/3/18)

DATING LIVELINKS - CHAT LINES. Flirt, chat and date!

Talk to sexy real singles in your area. Call now!

1-844-359-5773. (AAN CAN)(1/3/18)

ADULT HELP WANTED WORK IN ADULT FILMS or on live streaming websites from the convenience of your own home.

No experience, all types, sizes, & races. Call United 30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 27, 2017-JANUARY 2, 2018

Casting NOW! 212-726-2100 (AAN CAN)(12/27/17)

FOLIO F OLIO IO VOICES VOICES : B BACKPAGE EDITORIAL

BLOWING

UP THE BUDGET

TTell ell C Congress ongress ttoo sstop top WASTING OUR MONEY on military spending WHAT’S THE STUPIDEST IDEA YOU can think of? Taking a swing at a cop? Letting Bill Cosby mix you a drink? How about giving $80 billion each year to someone who doesn’t need it and never even requested it? I think we have a winner!

Earlier this fall, Congress passed what was quietly dubbed as a routine defense budget authorization bill. This $700 billion legislation, which included an annual spending increase of $80 billion, was passed by both houses in rare bipartisan fashion and with little fanfare. Despite both Republicans and establishment Democrats telling us that things like free public college tuition and Medicare-for-all are too expensive, we apparently do have the money to spend tens of billions of dollars on weapons that the military, which is already leaps-andbounds more powerful than every other military on Earth combined, says they have absolutely no use for.

It’s easy to go after President Donald Trump for wasting taxpayer money on military spending for which the Pentagon didn’t ask for.

The real culprits in this are those members of Congress who actually passed this bill because they’re more interested in giving our money away to local defense contractors who fund their re-election campaigns than providing healthcare access to their nonwealthy constituents.

We need to stop rewarding politicians who spend money like drunken sailors on a three-day pass on weapons that will

likely never see combat. Republicans and Democrats are both exceedingly tone-deaf to just how insulting it is to voters when they do this as they simultaneously tell us that funding basic social programs like healthcare is too costly.

Let’s pretend I owe you money and haven’t paid you back in several decades.

Every time you ask me to fulfill my responsibility, I tell you that I can afford to only give you a tiny fraction of what you are owed, acting as if you should be grateful to receive even that. Then one day, you find out that I just purchased a new aircraft carrier (in my defense, my neighbor bought a pair of AEGIS cruisers and I wasn’t about to be outdone). Wouldn’t that make you the slightest bit upset? More to the point, if I were your Senator or member of Congress, would you still vote for me?

Now, if you are of the libertarian persuasion and believe that government does not owe its citizens access to basic healthcare (or anything else, for that matter), I respect your conviction even though I disagree with it. But setting that particular debate aside, I suspect we do agree that our elected officials should not be wasting our money. The only way this madness will ever stop is if we start holding our representatives accountable when they vote for idiotic bills like this.

Speaking of which, did Senator Bill Nelson stand up for his constituents and vote against this obscene example of corporate welfare run amok?

No. In fact, the genius voted for it. This effectively proves, quite conclusively, that Nelson answers to lobbyists and corrupt special interests instead of his constituents. Did I mention that he’s up for re-election in 2018?

Of course, the single worstkept secret in our nation’s capital is that most of our elected officials work at the behest of their campaign contributors as opposed to their constituents.

This insanity masquerading as governance needs to end before it bankrupts our country. That’s why I urge you to call Congressman John Rutherford at 202-225-2501, Congressman Al Lawson at 202-225-0123, Congressman Ron DeSantis at 202-2252706, Sen. Marco Rubio at 202-224-3041 and Sen. Nelson at 202-2245274 to tell them that wasting this much money on equipment that nobody asked for, while basic social programs go unfunded, will no longer be tolerated.

Kris Craig mail@folioweekly.com ___________________________ Craig is a self-syndicated columnist and software engineer in Seattle.

M.D. M.J. Is hemp the next battleground in the LEGALIZATION WAR?

FIT TO BE

OVERSET

TIED

WITH THE SEEMINGLY ENDLESS discussion of THC and CBD, oils and edibles and derivatives thereof, we fail to give proper credit to the role played by industrial hemp in helping facilitate America’s growth into a global superpower, or whatever passes for that in 2017. Hemp was a cash crop in Florida until around 1957, and legislation has been proposed to bring it back in each of the last two years, with no success so far. Products made from imported hemp have proved quite lucrative, long before medical marijuana was legalized in Florida last year.

As Americans work to bring hemp back into the marketplace, it’s worth noting that in some businesses, it never went away. Here’s an interesting fact, courtesy the latest jam-packed issue of American Theatre Magazine: Did you know that hemp ropes were long considered the standard for stage rigging during the glory days of the theater? The ropes were attached to sandbags on a pulley system used to open and close the curtains, as well as manipulate the oftenelaborate backdrops for shows in many of the most iconic venues in that industry.

Theaters moved gradually toward synthetic ropes and steel cables after growing hemp was outlawed by the Controlled Substances Act in 1970. (Expect to see at least a middling effort to reverse this aspect of the law between now and 2020, with representatives from pot-friendly states leading the way.)

According to the International Alliance of Theatrical Stage Employees (IATSE, a real union that has significant clout in that business nationwide), only nine of New York City’s 41 existing Broadway theaters are still “hemp houses,” as they’re called.

From an outsider’s perspective, the fact that any at all remain is fascinating. Automated rigs are the industry standard now, and the very specific training one needs to run a hemp house is becoming increasingly hard to find; the old masters are dying off faster than mafia underbosses in the 1970s.

Author Lisa Lacroce Patterson, herself a veteran of the Tri-State region’s theater scene, relates her experience working at the Victory Theatre in New York, which quit on hemp 25 years ago, when hemp-andsandbag systems were still extant on Broadway, as well as community theaters in places like Philadelphia, Norfolk and Washington, D.C. “This is a worldwide habitat loss,” writes Lacroce, in summation.

“This is a piece of theatrical history that may soon go the way of most other industries in America and elsewhere: toward automation. Hemp ropes are literal links stretching back into theater’s past.”

Shelton Hull mail@folioweekly.com ____________________________________ Got questions about medical marijuana? Let us answer them. Email mail@folioweekly.com.

DECEMBER 27, 2017-JANUARY 2, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 31