01/24/18 Water Hogs by Folio Weekly

2 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 24-30, 2018

THIS WEEK //1.24.18-1.30.18//VOL. 30 ISSUE 43 COVER STORY

WATER

HOGS: THE REVIVAL

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IT’S BAAAAAACK! It’s the return of FW’s controversial look at the 904’s biggest users of the state’s most valuable resource story by CLAIRE GOFORTH cover art by MADELEINE PECK WAGNER

FEATURED ARTICLES FEATURED

TECHNICALLY AWESOME

[5]

BY CLAIRE GOFORTH SAVING THE PLANET, one microscopic fiber at a time

DEAFINITE ACTION

[10]

BY TIM GILMORE CONNELL CROOMS launches outreach program to unite the deaf community

PLAYING BLACKJACK WITH CHAPTER 21

[39]

BY JIM MINION JEA is not a stack of chips

COLUMNS + CALENDARS MAIL/B&B FROM THE EDITOR OUR PICKS FIGHTIN’ WORDS NEWS AAND NOTES E PLURIBUS JAX MUSIC

4 5 6 8 9 10 16

FILM ARTS LISTING ARTS LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR DINING BITE-SIZED PINT-SIZED

18 19 21 24 28 30 31

CHEFFED-UP PET PARENTING CROSSWORD / ASTROLOGY WEIRD / I SAW U CLASSIFIEDS M.D. M.J. BACKPAGE

32 34 36 37 38 38 39

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45 West Bay Street Suite 103 Jacksonville, Florida 32202 PHONE 904.260.9770 FAX 904.260.9773 JANUARY 24-30, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 3

THE MAIL PRIVATIZE REWARDS, SOCIALIZE RISK

RE.: “The $45 Million Question,” by Claire Goforth, Jan. 17 WHEN THE DEVELOPERS BEHIND THE SOUTHBANK riverfront development called The District dropped the HealthyTown moniker, they immediately lost all goodwill and faith they’d built among Jacksonville residents. An urban riverfront oasis dedicated to a healthy lifestyle for locals was dropped in the name of profits, which begs the question: How healthy was the development ever intended to be? The recent back-and-forth of the developers asking for Jacksonville citizens to buy the land so the developers can have a better bottom line raises the question of the health of the project altogether. Why would the developers change their purchase strategy to ask for city funds unless a) they don’t have the money or b) they aren’t generating interest from tenants, builders and lenders? The purchase of the land has dragged on for over two years, which is far beyond any local resident’s patience level for something to get done. And now they want our public money to do it? Here’s why that doesn’t make sense for the residents of Jacksonville. Cities should be involved in spurring development of underserved or potentially burgeoning areas. Tax dollars can be prudently spent to help kickstart development of an area like the Northbank, which has been dying for a marquee project to attract local and national interest. Not so for the Southbank, though. All along the Southbank development is taking off—from condos near Baptist Towers, infill of north San Marco, the Kings Avenue corridor and apartments next to the

school board, to name a few. None of these projects requested extensive taxpayer dollars. Why the handout for The District? The play by the developers of The District is just another attempt by those pulling the strings to privatize their financial reward but socialize the risk of the development. The developers intend to leave the city and its residents holding the bag in case something goes wrong, while they keep all the profits if things go well. Let’s either let The District developers close the deal on the original terms, or move on to someone who can get it done. Ethan Gregory via email

LOGIC: A CRUEL MISTRESS

RE.: Sam’s Closing 63 Stores, Two in Florida MORE THAN 1,000 OUT OF WORK—ANOTHER FEATHER in the cap of online shopping. Oh, well; I guess they can all apply for work in an Amazon sweatshop if there’s one in their city. Otherwise, there are Kmarts, Sears and Macy’s—oh, I forgot—they’re closing stores, too. Steve Crandall via email

HONKEY-TONKS DON’T STAMP PASSPORTS

RACIST LIBERAL TOILET PAPER. YOU CAN FREELY USE the word ‘honky’ in a racist sense …. Well, there is no excuse, you just shouldn’t do it. Hipster douchebags that have never left this country. If you only knew... Smitty Smith via Facebook reviews

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BRICKBATS + BOUQUETS BOUQUETS TO ENVIRONMENTAL WARRIORS Whoever doubted that a small, committed group of citizens can make a difference must never have a) heard of Margaret Mead, or b) met the group that includes Jane West Law, George Jacunski, Matanzas Riverkeeper and the South Anastasia Community Association. This coalition resisted the Kings Grant Development, which would’ve jammed 1,000 homes near I-95 and S.R. 206, which the County Commission denied in 2015. But their work continues; KG Development filed two court actions against the county, one of which was recently dismissed. West, who represents co-defendant SACA, told the St. Augustine Record that the civil case remains open. BRICKBATS TO GATEHOUSE MEDIA Proving that the ‘devil you know’ is often better than the one you don’t, since buying The Florida Times-Union and St. Augustine Record, among other publications owned by Morris Publishing, GateHouse has effected two waves of layoffs, first in the printing department and now in the newsroom. (See p. 8) Since taking over, it’s axed at least 60 staffers. It’s no wonder GateHouse has a 1.9/5 Glassdoor rating, with numerous comments about the lack of positive communication, ridiculous quotas and deadlines and an abysmal work environment. BOUQUETS TO THE JAGUARS All right, so the trip to Foxboro didn’t go as we hoped, with the Jags falling to the Patriots, 20-24 at the AFC Championship. But our team has every reason to hold their heads high; even when almost no one thought they could do it, the Jaguars not only made it to the playoffs for the first time since 2007, they bested first the Bills, then the Steelers, the latter in their home stadium (bbbuuurrrnnn), capturing the hearts of folks across the nation and giving us all reason to cheer. Duuuuval, indeed. DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? HOW ABOUT A BRICKBAT? Send submissions to mail@folioweekly.com; 50 word maximum, concerning a person, place, or topic of local interest. 4 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 24-30, 2018

FROM THE EDITOR So the Technical Trojans, with some THE TECHNICAL TROJANS SHOULD GIVE US ALL HOPE guidance from two volunteer coaches, Kim for the future. Alvarez and Judy Andrews, and one very Last week, I was honored to spend a few dedicated teacher, Mikalene “Mikie” Temples, hours with the Technical Trojans’ Black Team, started looking for a solution, speaking with Dr. comprising seventh and eighth graders at McGuire, representatives James Weldon Johnson from JEA and St. College Preparatory Johns County Utilities, School. On Feb. 3, these an outlier among 10 kids will compete in utilities nationwide for the First LEGO League actually endeavoring regional competition, to do something about which has a robotics microfibers on their portion wherein they mi own, and working with program a robot to ow Saving the planet, one Steve perform various tasks,, Stee Cooley, owner of MICROSCOPIC FIBER at a time A-1 and a real-world A- Plumbing Supply Company, who helped problem-solving Co them portion wherein they th build the prototype. Their prototype is relatively simple to research and find a solution to a serious issue ssue T assemble and install and is made of a filter plaguing our planet. sock, piece of PVC pipe, small mesh filter bag This year the theme is hydrodynamics; for and three scouring pads, like for scrubbing their project, the Technical Trojans chose to pots and pans. The wire mesh ‘hooks’ in the take on one of the peskiest scourges affecting scouring pad actually inspired an extremely the world’s water supply: microplastics. catchy name: the Hydro Hooker Filter. Also known as microfibers, these are tiny, (Yes, the kids did giggle a lot about the pernicious bits of plastic that shed from clothes in the wash. Athletic gear with that ohname. Truth be told, so did I.) so-popular wicking feature is particularly to The Hydro Hooker is also extremely blame; worse, as the clothing ages, it releases inexpensive; at Lowe’s, the parts together cost more and more fibers in each wash. them $17.50. Microplastics are so small that they can be Right now you’re probably thinking, ‘That’s seen with only a microscope; through their great, Goforth, but what about the results?’ research, the Technical Trojans found that 95 Patience, Iago, patience. (Confession: I watched percent of the little rascals are smaller than a Aladdin way too many times in middle school.) grain of sand. As such, they pass through most The Hydro Hooker removes 75 percent any commercial or after-market filter, making of the microfibers from the water in a load their way into the water supply, the ocean, of wash. Seventy-five percent! It’s no surprise and all the life that depends on it—even you. that they freaking aced the problem-solving That’s right, at least a portion of your body is portion of the competition’s first round and made of plastic that you didn’t pay a surgeon have focused their attention on improving big money to implant or inject. Not only that, their robotics’ performance. And, of course, but the kids explained to me that microplastics getting the word out about their invention. also behave much like sponges, absorbing Though we only spent two hours together, and retaining all sorts of harmful pollutants this diverse group of kids—which includes and other contaminants that later can be seventh-graders Micah Andrews, Param released into water, soil, plants, fish, livestock, Gattupalli, Prithvi Radhakrishnan, Carlos humans, etc. If that’s not bad enough, they’re Alvarez, Fangze Chen and Sofia Lora; and also known to scratch intestinal and stomach eighth-graders Gokul Murali, Nandhu linings, as well as the esophagus. Ramkumar, Christian Perr and Sean Lang—left Suffice to say, microfibers are awful. me with a warm, hopeful feeling for the future. That a group of middle-schoolers would The kids told me Dr. Maia McGuire of the care enough to try to solve the very real, global University of Florida informed them that problem of microfibers isn’t the only reason microfibers have even been found at the my feet hardly touched the floor as I left the source of Florida’s springs and in our aquifers. classroom. For not only were these kids brilliant In spite of the seriousness of the problem and and funny—they were genuinely kind and the fact that, as the kids explained, 60 percent of compassionate, traits that will well serve them, all clothing is manufactured with polyester and and the planet, no matter what comes our way. other fabrics of that ilk, none of the experts seems to have any realistic solutions to the more than 27 Claire Goforth million, according to Technical Trojans’ research, claire@folioweekly.com being released every time someone does a single @ClaireNJax _____________________________________ load of wash. There are products on the market

TECHNICALLY

AWESOME

that purport to collect or filter microfibers in water. The only problem is that the kids found they don’t exactly work. Like, not at all. The situation is, in a word, grim … unless someone comes up with a solution, or perhaps someones, such as 10 passionate, talented, creative middle-schoolers.

The First LEGO League regional competition will be at Prime Osborn Center on Feb. 3. Donate to the Technical Trojans at gofundme. com/jwj-technical-trojans-robotics.

JANUARY 24-30, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5

LIKE AN EXPLORER MATANZAS 5K

Imagine yourself cast backward in time as you run through the Oldest City. And when you’re finished, treat yourself to one of the many satisfying culinary rewards available (we’re especially partial to the local beer, tacos and popsicles). 8 a.m. for the 5K; 9:15 a.m. for the Fun Run, Saturday, Jan. 27, Francis Field, St. Augustine, matanzas5k.com, $25-$35.

SAT

OUR PICKS TUE

REASONS TO LEAVE THE HOUSE THIS WEEK

THU

SAT

ABSTRACT APPRENTICES

ANDREA BOTTIN, TIFFANY MANNING, STEPHANIE ZIDE

Though abstraction can feel wild and wide open (and was received with sneers in its debut years), more recently it feels like a rite-of-passage for artists to expand their lexicon. Some become masters, and some simply incorporate new ways of making into their repertoire (pictured, Untitled by Stephanie Zide, 2018). Bottin, Manning and Zide show together in Where We Meet at FSCJ’s Kent Campus Gallery, Riverside; an opening reception is 6 p.m. Jan. 30.

FAMILY SECRETS

FIRE & ICE Charlotte is a God-fearing woman struggling to handle lies threatening to upset the whole family, as well as a truth that could possibly shatter Tony—the baby of the family. This is the story of a totally dysfunctional family facing an emotional storm of unimaginable proportions. Written by Joanne Durant, the play is mounted 6 p.m. Saturday, Jan. 27, at The Ritz Theatre & LaVilla Museum, Downtown, $18-$40.

LASSO LOVE

NATIONAL TEAM ROPING FINALS

It takes a lot more than the ability to stay upright in the saddle to rope a quick-moving, doesn’t-wantto-be-caught steer, and it’s fantastically exciting to watch. Head out and see some of the top contenders in the sport of team roping, Jan. 25-28, Jacksonville Equestrian Center, Westside, free admission and parking, jaxequestriancenter.com.

THU

FRICKIN’ FABULOUS! MARTY STUART In 2014, NPR called Stuart “Keeper of Country Music’s Cowboy Couture,” and

indeed, the silver-coiffed musician has a massive collection of country music memorabilia and fashion. But for all his willingness to embrace the past, his award-winning music (roots, rockabilly, with a little blues) still feels remarkably fresh and deeply authentic. He, and the Fabulous Superlatives (Kenny Vaughan, Harry Stinson, Chris Scruggs) perform 8 p.m. Thursday, Jan. 25, at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, $39-$59, pvconcerthall.com. 6 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 24-30, 2018

JANUARY 24-30, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7

FOLIO VOICES : FIGHTIN’ WORDS

GATEHOUSE SLAUGHTER

HOUSE Notes on the latest T-U BLOODLETTING

A FEW WEEKS BACK, THERE WAS FEVER AROUND A hashtag on social media. #LoveMyNewspaper As the print side of the journalism business continues its periodic contractions, it has been necessary to prop up spirits with such devices. Using that hashtag, people celebrated and sang of the intrepid journalists of their local papers: Truth-tellers like none other, who do the dirty work of scouring through public records to find what officials would like to keep quiet, then asking them over and over for Real Answers. It’s that sort of accountability journalism that drives the self-perception of being industry workers at this point: Print reporters, by and large, are a species driven by romanticism for a bygone era. One in which the paper was something that everyone read in the morning, and one in which the paper set the agenda. Does that happen now? It depends on who you ask. We all know now, of course, that The Florida Times-Union, under new ownership at GateHouse, which owns more than 500 papers nationally, dropped the ax on some journalists last week—not too long after canning the 50 people responsible for printing the paper locally. Reporters Roger Bull, Drew Dixon, Terry Dickson and Tiffanie Reynolds, and photographers Bob Mack and Dede Smith, graphic artist Steve Nelson, editor Carole Fader, and office manager Brenda Compton. Every one of them is looking for new gigs now. It will be easier for some than others. It will be a challenge for all of them to make up the income. Not to mention the feeling of playing a central part in one of the more vital roles one can have in any community: explaining what is being done to citizens by their government. Dixon, for example, had been with the paper for 15 years. He and Bull were the business desk. There are some who say, well, NBD, the Jacksonville Business Journal and the Daily Record can pick up the slack. But those papers are smaller, too, with fewer reporters and fewer resources. And is it a wise strategy to handdeliver one of your beats to the competition? 8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 24-30, 2018

While you can task a freelance stringer with an assignment and get some copy out of it, getting context is a different matter. Freelancers are decent factotums in assignments of that ilk, but with no institutional knowledge or protection or investment, how deep are they really going to go on a story? I did a lot of freelance work before the last few years; ever tried writing copy from a cubicle? Interviewing sources from an unused conference room, whispering like Deep Throat so some officious team leader doesn’t pop in and blow things up like some episode of Cops? Cramming a rewrite into a lunch break? It’s an exercise in humility and futility, and conditions aren’t conducive to winning any awards doing it. And freelancers, quite often, have to crawl over glass before even being considered for salary jobs. To think of the quotidian shit I applied for and was told I wasn’t good enough to do … it would have broken some people’s spirits, and didn’t exactly bolster mine, but it spotlighted the decision-making process and hubris of the decision-makers (many of whom have since been shown the door). All of this is to say that there is a lot of churn in the journalism business, a lot of previously canonical thinking that’s now about as relevant to what is happening as chunks of unusable flesh and puddles of blood on an abattoir floor. What is left is a concern—always—for shareholder profits, for quarterly dividends, for bonuses at corporate headquarters. The people doing the jobs now, unless they are killing it, unless they’re young and getting better, might as well appeal to PETA for intervention. Because, in those boardrooms where the big-dollar mandarins negotiate budget cuts and staff trimming, they are assets and liabilities, not people. In this market, the local paper has a strong core of reporters under the age of 35, and those reporters and the product have their fanbases. Nate Monroe and Chris Hong represent that vision on the City Hall beat. Andrew Pantazi and Ben Conarck break their share of stories about criminal justice and the legal system. Tessa Duvall has taken the potentially sleepy beat of children’s services and made it bristle with conflict. Their work, locally, was largely celebrated with that hashtag. And they aren’t going anywhere (though their work will continue to be undercut by an editorial board that sees its function as cheerleading local millionaires and billionaires). God help you if you are on the news side, older, prone to health problems, and seen as replaceable by younger, cheaper talent. People may #LoveMyNewspaper. But corporate loves its profit margin. Advice: Clean the floor before the previous owners sell the building. And next time, put down dropcloths first.

A.G. Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com @AGGancarski

NEWS AAND NOTES: ALPHABET SOUP TOP HEADLINES FROM THE ASSOCIATION OF ALTERNATIVE NEWSMEDIA A GHOST IN THE CROWD

On Feb. 10, 2017, a white Nashville police officer fatally shot 31-year-old Jocques Clemmons, a black man, once in the hip and twice in the back, after he ran a stop sign. The officer was never charged, sparking outrage and protests for months. In December, while compiling its annual In Memoriam issue, Nashville Scene made a chilling discovery in its archives: an unpublished 2009 interview with Clemmons for a now-defunct feature called “Face in the Crowd.” In the interview, which reportedly was never published, the then-23-yearold Clemmons, who was helping his grandparents at a farmers market that day, remarked on how he viewed the recent inauguration of Barack Obama as an example of Martin Luther King Jr.’s dream being fulfilled, talked about the minutiae of his young life, playing high school football, his favorite fast-food spot. He also shared an insight he’d learned: “A fool is as bad as his wisdom, so one thing I would teach,” he said, “use caution and judgment with everybody, and keep your head up and thank the Lord for everything.”

< BUT IT’S JUST GAS

In a move that makes one wonder if New Mexico is trying to mimic Old Mexico, the state’s environmental department is taking heat over its proposed revision to the permit approval process for building oil and gas facilities. Weekly Alibi writes that environmentalists say the proposed regulations would “make the state’s air quality standards some of the worst in the country.” The New Mexico Environmental Department defended the proposal, saying it combines two existing permit processes and removes outdated language. But environmentalists were having nunya, clapping back by reiterating criticisms of the oil and gas air quality standards, noting that it would eliminate any limit on methane gas releases and allowed only four days for public comment. To which the NMED was like, oh, jk, you can comment all month.

< CRAFTING A CO-OP

Well, Worcester, Massachusetts might also be out of the running to give all their tax dollars to a billion—we mean, be the site of Amazon HQ2—but they’ve got something Northeast Florida ain’t got as far as we know: their very first communityowned brewery. Worcester Magazine reports that 3cross Brewing Company, which opened as a private company in 2014, announced on Jan. 9 it was converting to a cooperative ownership structure and becoming the state’s first communityowned brewery. The brewery, which is changing its name to 3cross Fermentation Cooperative, will be owned by workers and consumers, the latter being sold memberships for a one-time fee of $150 starting Jan. 26. Thereafter, the business’s direction will be determined democratically— one vote/member. “From the outset,” said founder Dave Howland, “I really wanted 3cross to be very much a community-focused venture. Opening ownership to anyone in the community really reinforces that, I think.” We think so, too.

< DISASTER EVERYWHERE HE WENT

Arkansas Senator Tom Cotton is one of the targets of activists determined to influence government by sharing their thoughts with their representatives. Well, Cotton prefers his constituents laudatory and docile, not critical and agitated. And he’s cottonpickin’ going to do something about it! The junior senator reportedly sent a letter to numerous citizens warning them to “cease and desist” all communications with his office, according to Arkansas Times. Several members of Ozark Indivisible were reportedly sent such letters, possibly due to their unwillingness to grin and bear Cotton’s tomfoolery, which includes denying anyone in the White House has evah used the word “shithole,” holding up a dying woman’s ambassadorial appointment to “inflict special pain” on then-President Barack Obama, undermining foreign policy by spearheading a letter from 47 senators to the Iranian government during negotiations for a nuclear deal, and screwing his own people by being the ONLY Arkansas House Republican to vote against a farm bill in 2014. He makes Marco Rubio sound like un hombre del pueblo (a man of the people).

JANUARY 24-30, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9

FOLIO O OV VO VOICES OICES C S : E PLUR PLURIBUS U JAX Connell Crooms launches OUTREACH PROGRAM to unite the deaf com mmunityy community

DEAF INITE

ACTION

10 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 24-30, 2018

IT’S IRONIC THAT CONNELL CROOMS, ONE OF THE city’s best-known activists, is less known for the activism with which he most identifies. While he’s known for taking on police violence, labor injustice and the larger community’s willful ignorance of the struggles of minority neighborhoods, it’s his deafness that he calls his “natural environment.” Crooms sits across from me at Chamblin’s Uptown, looking sharp in a suit, chest tat peeking through the unbuttoned top of a white dress shirt. He speaks like a revolutionary, but has the kindest smile. “There’s a new economy coming,” he says, “and young leaders in this city need to take responsibility and be part of this new direction.” Crooms sees that new direction as based on increasing diversity and heightened citizen awareness. For his part, he’s working against what he calls “the invisibility of deaf people.” Our society, he says, still doesn’t take deaf people seriously. For example, according to the National Deaf Center’s report “Deaf People and Employment in the United States: 2016,” 47 percent of deaf people are outside the labor force, versus 23 percent of hearing individuals. That understanding led Crooms to form COOK, Community Organized Outreach Kitchen, in October. COOK presently puts about 20 volunteers to work, preparing weekly neighborhood meals and calling attention to communities in need. The goal is to open a deaf-staffed restaurant in Springfield. One of COOK’s biggest endeavors thus far has been at Ken Knight Drive, where residents, mostly black and impoverished, felt abandoned long after much of the rest of Jacksonville was well on the way to recuperating from Hurricane Irma. The Ribault River had flooded the circular and winding Northside road and residents suffered inadequate sewage service for weeks. Now Crooms and COOK are traveling to Tampa in the wake of the strange case of the police department’s fake signlanguage interpreter. Olga Lavandiera is deaf, so she relied on the American Sign Language interpreter when police announced the arrest of a serial killer suspect in the Seminole Heights neighborhood. Lavandiera’s daughter, Monica Hoffa, was one of the victims. Instead of any coherent communication, what Hoffa’s mother received was a batch of signing gibberish delivered by Derlyn Roberts, a fake interpreter who’d been arrested five times for fraud. “How could this happen?” Crooms asked. “Can you imagine a completely fake interpreter of any other language standing there with the police department on the news?” In Tampa, COOK will serve food in Seminole Heights, hear the grievances of deaf citizens, and subsequently continue to network throughout Florida.

Crooms says one of the obstacles prohibiting deaf empowerment is a sense of unity. The deaf don’t usually live segregated in separate communities as many minorities do, though Crooms’ own experiences at The Florida School for the Deaf and the Blind and Gallaudet University gave him a feeling of camaraderie and showed him social divisions in the deaf community often mirror those of the hearing. Crooms says the goal of COOK is to give deaf people the strength of unity and to bring the deaf community one of its greatest needs—employment. There’s irony in the fact that the deaf lack a unified voice. “We’re unseen because we’re unheard,” Crooms says. Regarding deaf un- and underemployment, Crooms says, “Deaf people can do anything other people can do except hear.” He recently asked a deaf friend with a sharp mathematical mind, “Why the hell are you mowing lawns?” So while COOK focuses on building a volunteer database, producing a neighborhood meal/action a week, networking across Jacksonville and around the state, Crooms hopes the “kitchen” in the organization’s acronym will put roots down in Springfield, maybe as soon as this summer. The restaurant, which would employ an all-deaf staff, would double as COOK’s headquarters. Funding thus far has come from other deaf organizations like the Florida Association of the Deaf. COOK uses crops grown in gardens belonging to Veterans for Peace, UNF’s Food Fighters, and Communications Workers Association, Local 3106. Crooms is perhaps best known for his and Palestinian-American activist Sara Mahmoud’s depictions by muralist Guido Van Helten on the Lafarge Cement Silos downtown and for being beaten unconscious by the police at a Hemming Park anti-Trump rally last April. Crooms is also a co-founder, with Matt Maxey, of DEAFinitely Dope, which brings ASL to hip hop, and has toured with Chance the Rapper. Crooms says he knows it’s much easier to talk about what needs to happen than it is to build the infrastructure for change, but says he’s in a “unique position.” He smiles wide and nods his head. “I didn’t know it, but I’ve been waiting for COOK for a long time.” Timothy Gilmore EPluribus@folioweekly.com _____________________________________ E Pluribus Jax profiles unique individuals and groups that comprise and define our community. Share your local subculture/ethnicity/religious minority/disability/hairstyle or other otherness at epluribus@folioweekly.com. To donate time or resources to COOK, email cookjax@gmail.com or contact COOK via Facebook.

STORY BY

CLAIRE GOFORTH M A D E L E I N E P E C K WA G N E R

COVER ART BY

mong Folio Weekly covers, “Water Hogs” is kinda like the Camaro of muscle cars or the KISS of farewell tours; it might take a few years, but it’s bound to come back sooner or later. “Water Hogs: The Revival” is different from its most recent iteration in a few ways: First, we’re publicly shaming far fewer swine—this year; second, we don’t have the staff or patience (or interest in getting shot) to stake out all the offenders; and third, we’re giving repeat offenders a one-time pass on being called out for their continuous suckage.

It will interest you to know that, in spite of the St. Johns Water Management District’s Water Shortage Warning Order that went into effect in March 2017 and was rescinded in September, these 12, well, 11 (more on that later) porkers consumed a cumulative 18,893,000 gallons from Nov. 1, 2016 through Oct. 31, 2017. That’s enough to fill 28.6 Olympic-sized swimming pools. That’s 151,144,000 pounds of water; if that weight were kilometers, that’s just about the distance from Earth to the sun. No, we are not making this up. As far as we can ascertain, this is the first time in “Water Hogs” history that two of piggies—including the Top Hog—are actually owned by the same real estate company. Yep, last time we did this, there was a rash of bank-owned foreclosures on our list; since then, it appears the real estate market has turned around bigly. Also, bigly is now apparently a word. We’re surprised on both counts. So, without further ado, turn the page, read ’em and weep … for our planet. CONTINUED NEXT PAGE >>> JANUARY 24-30, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11

_______________________________________ C WILLIAM THOMAS • 6324 Morse Ave. _______________________________________ Market value: $123,397 Property size: 1/2 acre (22,140 square feet) House square footage: 1,534 2 bedrooms/2 bathrooms Suckiest month: July 2017 – 285,000 gallons July 2017 precipitation*: 10.91 inches (296,250 gallons/acre)

GALLONS USED: 1,791,000

_______________________________________ This would be enough to flush a WaterSense toilet every hour for 159 years.

_______________________________________ A AV HOMES INC. • 8483 Mabel Dr. _______________________________________ Market value: $350,745 Property size: 1/3 acre (14,275 square feet) House square footage: 2,335 3 bedrooms/2.5 bathrooms Suckiest month: June 2017 – 246,000 gallons June 2017 precipitation*: 11.88 inches (322,589 gallons/acre)

rive just four-and-a-half miles northeast from Water Hog Nombre Deuce and you’ll find the third piggy on our list. This roughly 1,500-square-foot home can at least point to its much larger property as a defense for consuming 1,791,000 gallons in a single year. Based on its 2,130-square-foot floor plan (including garage), that’s a relatively paltry 44 gallons per square foot of yard … but it

bears mention that Florida is located in the subtropics (meaning it rains a lot), and much of this property comprises tall, mature trees, which don’t need watering. William Thomas, who purchased the property in 2008 with his wife Elena Thomas, for $165,900, did not respond to our letter and our call to a Dr. William Thomas, who practices family medicine and is affiliated with St. Vincent’s, was not returned.

GALLONS USED: 2,231,000

If water were beer, this would be enough to fill enough half-gallon growlers to give every resident of Jacksonville—man, woman and child—five.\

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n a Water Hogs first, not only does residential developer AV Homes own the biggest pig of the bunch, it owns TWO (see No. 5). Between the two, AV Homes has sucked away 3,808,000 gallons of our water. It’s important to note, however, that though these are technically classified as residential and associated with a single address by JEA, Robert “Bob” Kanjian, the AV Homes broker who manages the area, told us that the sprinkler systems of these two model homes are hooked up to ALL the homes in each development. “Several homes [are] adjacent to each other, so it’s probably set up so the sprinkler system covers all of

those,” he said, adding via email, “These will be homeowner association accounts in the future.” According to Kanjian, the Mabel Drive water bill in its “Old Still” development is reportedly associated with 124 homes; the Stone Creek Development (in Saint Johns) water bill accounts for landscaping around 44 homes. That’s a shade under 18 thousand gallons per home for Old Still, roughly 35 thousand gallons per home in Stone Creek— just for the grass and flowers. To put this in perspective, according to the U.S. Geological Survey, the average person uses between 29,000 and 36,500 gallons of water in one year. Oink. Oink.

_______________________________________ D JAMES T. MEYER • 683 Queen’s Harbour Blvd. _______________________________________ Market value: $2,111,455 Property size: 1-1/2 acres (67,162 square feet) House square footage: 7,781 4 bedrooms/5.5 bathrooms Suckiest month: June 2017 – 244,000 gallons June 2017 precipitation*: 11.88 inches (322,589 gallons/acre)

GALLONS USED: 1,741,000

_______________________________________ This is enough water for four average Americans to take a shower every day for 69 years.

_______________________________________ B JOHN & SUZANNE KIRKPATRICK 7956 Copperfield Cir. S. _______________________________________ Market value: $123,132 Property size: 1/6 acre (6,869 square feet) House square footage: 1,873 3 bedrooms/2 bathrooms Suckiest month: March 2017 – 221,000 gallons March 2017 precipitation*: 0.98 inches (26,601 gallons/acre)

GALLONS USED: 2,050,000

_______________________________________ If gallons were airplane puke bags, this would be enough to stock 2,361 Airbus a380s.

his modestly sized home off Argyle Forest Boulevard isn’t what one might expect for a water hog; yet here it is, slurping down more than 2 million gallons and sloshing in at No. 2. Originally purchased by John Kirkpatrick in 1991, upon his death, Duval County Property Appraiser records began listing Suzanne Kirkpatrick as the owner of a life estate for the property in 2016. She did not respond to our letter; other attempts to obtain contact information 12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 24-30, 2018

for her were unsuccessful. Including an unheated addition, this unassuming, singlestory house takes up 2,291 square feet of the 6,689 square feet of this property; leaving a maximum of 4,398 square feet of yard. Assuming that, like most, half of their water is dumped on the lawn—which seems unlikely, given its relatively small size and three bedrooms—that’s 233 gallons per square foot of yard, or more than a halfgallon a day, rain, shine or hurricane.

n the bright side, our fourth hog’s property is more than 10 times larger than the smallest property on our list. On the other hand, they still managed to draw down 1.7 million of our gallons. Owned by James T. Meyer, who did not respond to inquiries, the Queen’s Harbour property is pretty much what we expect of those who consume

disproportionate amounts of anything: enormous, expensive and isolated behind a guard gate. It’s so swank that Google street team hasn’t been by with their nosy cameras; the best glimpse we could get was via satellite, which shows a waterfront abode complete with a large circular driveway, pristine yard, dock and, of course, what looks to be a huge backyard pool.

_______________________________________ E AV HOMES INC. • 94 Stone Creek Cir. _______________________________________ Market value: $249,603 Property size: 1/3 acre House square footage: 3,366 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms Suckiest month: June 2017 – 218,000 gallons June 2017 precipitation*: 11.88 inches (322,589 gallons/acre)

GALLONS USED: 1,577,000

If gallons were miles, this would be enough for 82 of Forrest Gump’s 3 years, 2 months, 14 days and 16 hours-long runs from the 1994 movie.

_______________________________________ See our top Water Hog for explanation.

_______________________________________ F DWIGHT L. CARLSON • 1326 Charter Ct. E. _______________________________________ Market value: $965,245 Property size: 2/5 acre (17,761 square feet) House square footage: 4,977 5 bedrooms/6.5 bathrooms Suckiest month: August 2017 – 247,000 gallons August 2017 precipitation*: 9.09 inches (246,829 gallons/acre)

GALLONS USED: 1,473,000

If gallons were Twitter characters, this would be enough for President Trump to send one maximum-character Tweet every day for nearly 14 and 1/2 years … god help us.

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wo spots down and two miles from the fourth little piggy, Dwight Carlson’s $1 million home checks some of the same boxes: waterfront, dock, pool, posh addy. But Carlson has what few Water Hogs can claim: a plausible explanation for his consumption, backed up by JEA records. Upon receiving our letter, he called and emailed to tell us that, after a neighbor who happens to be a JEA employee noticed his above-average consumption, a leak was

discovered and fixed in September and he received a credit. Thereafter, Carlson began consuming so little water, his home is actually kind of a model for conservation. Carlson acknowledged that he probably should have noticed the leak before, but with the bill on autopay, that couple of hundred buckaroos escaped his notice. He was actually very nice about the whole thing and we feel confident that next year, Carlson will not be on this list.

JANUARY 24-30, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 13

_______________________________________ G MARK O. HASSELL • 2828 Lake Shore Blvd. _______________________________________ Market value: $304,522 Property size: just under 1 acre (41,521 square feet) House square footage: 2,270 3 bedrooms/2 bathrooms Suckiest month: October 2017 – 891,000 gallons October 2017 precipitation*: 4.01 inches (108,887 gallons/acre)

GALLONS USED: 1,421,000

If gallons were yards completed by a quarterback, this would be enough for 385 of Blake Bortles’ 2017 seasons.

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hat is it with excessive consumption on waterfront properties? This large parcel on the Cedar River, where the Westside and Riverside meet, looks like the kind of home that bona fide folks live in. Its annual consumption also looks like the kind of whoopsy caused by a leak that was quickly discovered and quickly fixed—unless they spent the month

of October filling all their neighbors’ pools. With the vast majority of their consumption, some 891,000 gallons, in a single month, though the remaining 530,000 gallons is well above average, we’re willing to give the seventh swine the benefit of the doubt. Even if Mark Hassell did ignore our letter and calls to a contractor of the same name and address went unreturned.

_______________________________________ I ERNEST E. HALE III • 5050 Yacht Club Rd. _______________________________________ Market value: $1,231,126 Property size: 3/4 acre (34,269 square feet) House square footage: 4,712 4 bedrooms/5 bathrooms Suckiest month: July 2017 - 242,000 gallons July 2017 precipitation*: 10.91 inches (296,250 gallons/acre)

GALLONS USED: 1,353,000

_______________________________________ If gallons of water were miles of river, this river would be as long as 4,364 St. Johns Rivers.

A _______________________________________ H CHARLES & STACEY HOGAN • 314 Ponte Vedra Blvd. _______________________________________

ccording to Zillow, which gushes about its Pirates Cove address, docks, “lush landscaping” (we bet), a backyard that “is a paradise with a large pool,” this water-sucking property in Ortega could be yours for the low, low price of $1.5 million. Like the sties of some of the other swine, the monstrous home is waterfront so, as an added bonus, much of that nitrogen-rich fertilizer that keeps the grass a killer shade of green would flow directly into Yacht Basin and a few yards around the corner into the St. Johns River. Or you could just turn the sprinklers off. One of those. In other news, our dear friend

Google turned up some interesting results for one Ernest Hale; in 2016, a city Auditor’s Report found that Loblolly Mitigation Bank, of which Hale is reportedly the managing partner, may have unjustly enriched itself to the tune of $3.1 million on—get this— the city’s wetland mitigation program. No, we are not joking. At the time, the auditor who oversaw the report told The Florida Times-Union, “I will not say a crime has been committed. I won’t say one hasn’t been committed.” Hale did not return a message from reporters seeking comment then, and he didn’t respond to our inquiries now.

Market value: $3,203,838 Property size: 1/2 acre House square footage: 7,369 Built in 2015 6 bedrooms, 7.5 bathrooms Suckiest month: January 2017 – 146,000 gallons January 2017 precipitation*: 3.89 inches (105,629 gallons/acre)

GALLONS USED: 1,388,000

If gallons were miles, this would be enough for 82 of Forrest Gump’s 3 years, 2 months, 14 days and 16 hours-long runs from the 1994 movie.

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ell, how do you do, Water Hog No. 8? By the looks of that fancy 2014 HGTV Magazine spread about their “bright, airy Florida home,” the Hogans are doing pretty dern well indeed. They’re also the proud (we assume) owners of the priciest home on our list, purchased in 2012 according to that article, with an unsurprising Ponte

Vedra address and a $3.2 million market value. The Hogans, who ignored our inquiries, are keeping up with the Joneses and siphoning finite resources out of our aquifer in this six-bedroom Cape Cod-style McMansion a few doors down from Ponte Vedra Inn & Club and across the street from Mother Ocean who, we’re guessing, does not approve.

_______________________________________ J TIE! PAMELA B. JACKSON • 1064 Chatford Rd. _______________________________________ Property size: 1/6 acre (6,706 square feet) House square footage: 1,300 2 bedroom/1 bathroom Suckiest month: April 2017 - 151,000 gallons

GALLONS USED: 1,309,000

April 2017 precipitation*: 0.74 inches (20,093 gallons/acre)

GALLONS USED: 1,309,000

If these were gallons of gas, this would be enough gas to drive a 2018 Toyota Prius from EverBank Field to U.S. Bank Stadium in Minneapolis, Minnesota over 47,000 times.

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here are many things we expect of our hogs. This property, tied for 10th, has none of them, except outsized consumption. Located in that whichneighborhood-is-it? area between St. Nicholas and the Southbank (we picked St. Nicholas, but without full confidence), it’s one of the older homes in J-ville, built in 1938 according

14 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 24-30, 2018

to property appraiser records. It’s also smaller, and the only house on our list with just one bathroom. Purchased by Pamela Jackson—who ignored our attempts to contact her—in 1989 for $54,000, its expected sale price on Zillow is a respectable $175,000-and-change. However, like the song, Miss Jackson’s water consumption, whatever its cause may be, is nasty.

_______________________________________ J TIE! JAMES M. MUSSALLEM • 5830 Clifton Ave. _______________________________________ Market value: $1,317,087 Property size: just under 1 acre (39,592 square feet) House square footage: 14,126 4 bedrooms/6 bathrooms Built in 2007 Suckiest month: March 2017 – 149,000 gallons March 2017 precipitation*: 0.98 inches (26,601 gallons/acre)

GALLONS USED: 1,309,000

If gallons were ounces of coffee, this would be enough to give every single resident of Nassau County two cups of coffee … with 3,384 cups left over.

_______________________________________

lso ringing in at No. 10 is James M. Mussallem. As impressed as we are with the fact that two hogs managed to tie, we’re much less keen on the combined 2.6 million that they drained from our water supply. When our letter went unanswered, we called Mussallem Galleries on Philips Highway and were told that

James Mussallem was out of town; we left a detailed message for him, including the nature of our inquiry, our intent to publish this information, contact info and press deadline. Mussallem did not respond. This home on the Arlington River, in the posh part of Arlington, is probably what one would call a villa, with the gate, pool, dock and price tag to match.

_______________________________________ IGOR V. MAKAROV • 8250 Chelsea Lake Pl. _______________________________________ Market value: $516,261 Property size: 3/4 acre (31,294 square feet) House square footage: 3,969 4 bedrooms/3.5 bathrooms Suckiest month: August 2017 – 132,000 gallons August 2017 precipitation*: 9.09 inches (246,829 gallons/acre)

GALLONS USED: 1,250,000

If gallons were calories, this would be enough to feed an average adult male for 500 days, and an average adult female for 625 days.

_______________________________________

f we said we felt good about Igor Makarov making the final spot on our list of Water Hogs, we’d be lying. But, then again, the only people who celebrate when their search for information whips up a Russian billionaire either work for the FBI or have the last name of Trump. Though his home is well below the priciest on our list, we feel quite confident that Makarov is the richest hog; Forbes lists his current net worth at $2.1 billion. Born in Turkmenistan, Makarov has twin claims to fame: as founder of the first independent Russian gas company, Itera Oil & Gas Company, which he sold to Russia-controlled Rosfnet for $2.9 billion in

2013; and as a former member of the USSR Olympic national cycling team. Today, he is the president of Areti Group, which has offices and affiliated companies scattered around the globe, in places like Moscow, Belarus, Geneva and, best of all, Jacksonville. In a telephone conversation, Ernie Ruffell told Folio Weekly that Makarov employs him to care for the property, and said that the water meter services two adjacent properties totaling “a little over an acre.” He also said that watering is done by an automatic irrigation system, and that the home and adjacent guesthouse aren’t continuously in use. “We have guests in the house most of the year,” Ruffell said.

* Measured at Jacksonville International Airport, according to Weather Underground JANUARY 24-30, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15

FOLIO A + E

BRINGING IT

ALL

BACK HOME

Inaugural WINTERLAND D FFE FESTIVAL ESTIV IVAL pputs uts 11 BANDS at The Space Gallery this weekend

or more than 100 years, artists have eased down to Florida to rest, recuperate and recharge their batteries. For Jacksonville native Glenn Van Dyke, however, who recently moved home after a decade-long stint in New York City and touring the globe with bands like BOYTOY, returning to her Florida roots wasn’t about taking it easy. Her first order of business after buying a house in Springfield? Kickstarting Winterland Presents, a booking and promotion company that will host its inaugural festival on Friday, Jan. 26 and Saturday, Jan. 27 at The Space Gallery. “When I sat down to plan this with Matt Shaw [of The Mother Gooses], the initial goal was to do a one-off festival that could evolve,” Van Dyke tells Folio Weekly. “Depending on how things go, the festival could turn into an annual thing, or Winterland could become a small record label. For now, it’s all about bringing more entertainment through Jacksonville.” This weekend’s two-night rock ’n’ roll shindig does just that, attracting The Tropics, a legendary cult act that dominated the Florida club circuit in the 1960s before taking a 40-year hiatus; Miami hell-raisers Jacuzzi Boys, Plastic Pinks and Ben Katzman’s DeGreaser; fresh St. Pete New Wave punks GLOVE; Orlando’s Timothy Eerie; Jacksonville’s own The Mother Gooses; St. Augustine’s DL is OK and The Young Step; Atlanta’s Gringo Star; and of course BOYTOY Friday night’s headliners featuring Van Dyke and her New York-based bandmates. “If you get good bands, people will come,” Van Dyke says. “For this first Winterland, I wanted to bring in some of my favorite Florida bands, in addition to a couple regional acts. I can’t wait to meet The Tropics; I wrote them totally cold after finding out about them from Tom Petty’s biography. The Jacuzzi Boys are sweet guys that rock so hard, and I’m really excited to

16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 24-30, 2018

see GLOVE since I’ve been a sucker for ’80s synth sounds recently. I’m excited for all the bands to come.” Van Dyke says the logistics of planning a new festival weren’t as tough as she expected. She and Shaw started with a bigger idea than they thought they could initially execute, then pared back around the edges to make Winterland fall together seamlessly. “We wanted to hold it in an off-the-beatenpath space, and The Space Gallery is perfect,” Van Dyke says. “Matt Shaw knows the owners, Matt and Laura Bennett, and when we pitched the idea to them, they seemed excited.”

FILM Pilgrimage ARTS The Stompdown MUSIC William Bell MUSIC They Might Be Giants LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CALENDAR

Matt Bennett concurs: “The Space Gallery is a place for people with a desire and drive to push Jacksonville forward culturally through art, action, music and performance. Glenn and Matt are at the forefront of our city’s cultural renaissance.” For Shaw, who’s organized more than a few shows around here, in addition to writing for national outlets like Surfer Magazine and helming Folio Weekly for a spell, planning Winterland was a no-brainer. “Glenn’s really a natural impresario,” he says. “This festival is really a product of her drive and passion for her community. After she moved back to Jax from New York, we were meeting up in the mornings to surf, and she would tell me about how she wanted to start a promotional outfit and maybe do a festival. I tried to curb her ambition on multiple occasions—I didn’t want her to feel let down if such a promotion didn’t receive adequate support. Then she started booking the bands and I realized there was no stopping her. So I linked her up with Matt Bennett and Wyatt Parlette at The Space Gallery, which is just so gritty and beautiful. I can’t think of a better venue for a garage rock festival.” And there’s additional fun to be had: in the form of a Florida craft beer garden; good eats thanks to Misty Lake and Ed Baltzley of The Bullet, an Airstream food truck serving up delicious local Florida eats; and sumo wrestling, Karaoke, fort building, dice games and photo ops. Consider Winterland a homegrown, grassroots antidote to all the big corporatesponsored music festivals crowding the calendar. “I just want to offer something fun for music fans in Jacksonville, which is such a cool

PG. 18 PG. 21 PG. 22 PG. 23 PG. 24

town, and for the bands coming from all over Florida,” Van Dyke says. “People seem thirsty for stuff like this to happen. I go out to bars and sometimes people seem defeated about living in Jacksonville, and I’m like, ‘Guys, this place is beautiful!’ I want to see people encouraged and not dragging their feet about living here.” Van Dyke laughs as she recalls how increasingly difficult it became for her to board a plane and fly back to New York City after her annual visits home. “I’d get legitimately sad about leaving the palm trees and the warmth,” she says. “Don’t get me wrong—when I was growing up, I couldn’t wait to get out of Florida. But there’s nothing else like it. And it’s so nice to come back here after 10 years and see young people taking the initiative to open up businesses in Riverside, Five Points and Springfield. The best part of all is, in Florida, it’s cost-effective. It’s doable. I could have never pulled off a festival like this in New York City—even if I had wanted to.” Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly.com

Jacuzzi Boys

WINTERLAND NO. 1

6 p.m. Jan. 26, 5 p.m. Jan. 27, The Space Gallery, 120 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 770-5146, $15/day; $15/ beer garden, thespacegalleryjax.com, winterlandpresents.com

JANUARY 24-30, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17

FOLIO F OLIO LIO A A+E E: M MAGIC MAG AGIC IC LANTERNS

Pilgrimage tackles FAITH & FURY

WALK

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35 San Marco Ave. | 904-217-4751 Shop, sip and learn at our comfy, casual wine cellar. Tastings encouraged!

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18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 24-30, 2018

360 BOUTIQUE

50 San Marco Ave. | 904-342-4064 A fresh and affordable selection of unique clothes, shoes, jewelry and gifts!

COASTAL TRADERS

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RAINTREE RESTAURANT

102 San Marco Ave. | 904-824-7211 Casual Uptown Dining with the freshest southern flair...under twinkling patio lights just across from the giant mission cross!

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e may have been killed off at the conclusion of the second season of The Walking Dead, but Jon Bernthal is thriving quite well on his own now, thank you. In Marvel’s Netflix universe, he made an impressive debut as The Punisher in the second installment of Daredevil, moving up to The Punisher, his own series, in December. On the big screen, he had strong supporting roles in The Accountant, Wind River and Baby Driver, all good action thrillers in which he played a badass. In the new Irish film Pilgrimage (2017), he again plays a tough guy in what may be his most close-mouthed role. He has only one four-letter word of dialogue. Though Bernthal is the film’s central action hero, he’s not really top-billed. That honor (more surprises) goes to Tom Holland, Marvel Universe’s new Spider-Man. Both he and Bernthal, with a good supporting cast and spectacular cinematography, do well in a landscape very different from that of vengeance-driven superheroes. Written by Jamie Hannigan and directed by Brian Muldowney, Pilgrimage opens with a short wordless prologue set in Cappadocia in 55 A.D. His hands bound with rope, a middleaged man with an early Christian symbol hung around his neck is pulled over a barren landscape and summarily stoned to death. The stoners’ leader, hoisting a large rock above his head to administer the last blow, pauses briefly to look at the threatening heavens above him before casting the final stone. Abruptly leaping more than a millennium forward, the setting moves to Ireland, 1209 A.D., and we get a short history lesson in another prologue. “Christianity now dominates Europe. On faith alone, Crusades are launched to recapture struggle to conquer the island. Deep in native Gaelic territory, a remote monastery shelters an ancient relic.” Holland plays Brother Diarmuid, a young novice attached to a monastery near the Western Irish coast. The monks have been entrusted to preserve a treasured relic of St. Matthias, the martyr and apostle whose death opened the film. Enclosed in an ornate box and treated with the greatest reverence is the same large stone which had crushed the saint’s skull. From the outside world, on a direct mission from the Pope, comes Brother Geraldus (Stanley Weber). His orders are to bring the relic back to Rome and invoke its powers against the Saracens in the Crusaders’ efforts to retake Jerusalem. Legend has it God

struck Matthias’ murderers dead by lightning, and it’s believed that the rock (like the Ark of the Covenant in Raiders of the Lost Ark) holds deep mystical forces for smiting heathens. Submitting reluctantly to the Papal decree, the abbot sends Diarmuid and a couple of other monks, including a formidable outsider known only as “The Mute” (Bernthal), to guard the relic on its pilgrimage. Joined by a contingent of Norman knights led by Sir Raymond de Merville (Richard Armitage), the band of pilgrims is attacked by tribal marauders who, it turns out, are minions of treacherous Sir Raymond, who has his own reasons to keep the stone. The pilgrimage devolves into a race for survival as Diarmuid, The Mute and the near fanatical Geraldus flee Sir Raymond and his evildoers. Along the way, Diarmuid’s faith about the “relic” is severely tested as the toll on human life increases exponentially. The mysterious Mute, though, stays true to his cause, defending the young man and his precious charge at any cost. The movie is striking—cinematographer Tom Comerford shot coastal scenes in Connemara and forest sequences in Belgium’s Ardennes forest. Steven McKeon’s score reinforces the striking visuals. Intelligent and exciting, Pilgrimage includes several action sequences unflinching in realism and savagery. Sir Raymond (a consummate villain) employs an instrument of torture picked up on his time in the Crusades that’s literally gut-wrenching. Think Braveheart on a smaller scale, and Pilgrimage should meet your expectations. It’s one of those rare films where beauty and violence hum in tandem: a work of art and entertainment.

Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com

NOW SHOWING CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ The Breakfast Club and Sixteen Candles screen Jan. 24. Pretty in Pink and Fast Times at Ridgemont High run Jan. 25. Throwback Thursday runs The Philadelphia Story, noon Jan. 25 and 4 p.m. Jan. 28. The Solution, about rising sea levels, is staged 7 p.m. Jan. 25 & 26, $20. Lady Bird and The Divine Order start Jan. 26. An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power runs Jan. 27. 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 697-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com. IMAX THEATER Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Walking with Dinosaurs: Prehistoric Planet and Dream Big screen. St. Augustine, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com. Maze Runner starts Jan. 26. SUN-RAY CINEMA Call Me by Your Name, The Post and I, Tonya screen. The Passion of Joan of Arc starts Feb. 1. 1028 Park St., 359-0049, sunraycinema.com.

ARTS + EVENTS PERFORMANCE

EBONY PAYNE ENGLISH Local luminary English had her play, On Purpose, mounted by Phase Eight Theatre in 2017; she starts 2018 hosting open mic night at De Real Ting Cafe. We’re willing to bet her blazing, brilliant example inspires others to–as she says in her poem, God Complex, “create themselves immortal.” The poet, playwright and teacher reads her work at Cypher Open Mic & Poetry night, 8 p.m. Jan. 25 at 128 W. Adams St., Downtown, $5 before 9 p.m.; $10 after. GLITTERBOMB GOES VIRAL Hide your kids and your wife, as some of the smartest, funniest drag performers in the area take the stage for interpretations of viral moments both past and present. They say: “Basically, we’re doing a live RIP VINE compilation video, but the only thing dead is our dignity!” 10 p.m. & midnight, Jan. 26, Metro Entertainment Complex, 859 Willowbranch Ave., Riverside, $7. MUSICAL THRONES, A PARODY Sing and dance along with Daenerys and her dragons, Tyrion, Joffrey and all the jolly members of the Lannister and Stark families in the musical, 8 p.m. Jan. 25 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-5661, $25-$50, floridatheatre.com. CHARLOTTE’S WEB Theatreworks takes this tale of friendship and a prize-winning pig on the road, 10:20 a.m. and noon Jan. 25 at The Florida School for the Deaf & the Blind, 207 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine, 827-2200, $8.50. The play is staged again at 10 a.m. and noon Jan. 26 at The Florida Theatre, Downtown, 355-5661, $8.50, theatreworksjax.com. THE LION KING One of the most breathtaking, inventive performances ever to grace a Broadway stage, winner of six Tony Awards comes to Jacksonville, Jan. 31-Feb. 11, Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 Water St., Downtown, fscjartistseries.org, $30-$139; prices vary, check website. FIRE & ICE A dysfunctional tale of family secrets, 6 p.m. Jan. 27 at The Ritz Theatre & LaVilla Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 633-6110, $18-$40, ritzjacksonville.com. THE STOMPDOWN A national step competition featuring the nation’s elite step teams! 7 p.m. Jan. 27 at The Florida Theatre, Downtown, $20, floridatheatre.com. THE CLEAN HOUSE Matilde is a housekeeper with aspirations of comedic fame … and this play, presented by Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre, is a funny look into class, love and laughter. Staged through Feb. 4 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., 249-7177, abettheatre.com. LAST NIGHT OF BALLYHOO Gone with the Wind is playing and Hitler is invading Poland, but Atlanta’s German Jews

are more concerned with who’s going to the social event of the season, Ballyhoo. Staged through Jan. 28 at Theatre Jacksonville, 2032 San Marco Blvd., $21-$26, theatrejax.com. THE PRISONER OF SECOND AVENUE It’s hot as hell, you’ve lost your job and family arrives to “help.” Staged by Live Ink Theatre, 7:30 p.m. Jan. 27, 4 p.m. Jan. 28 at Amelia Musical Playhouse, 1955 Island Walkway, $10.60, liveinktheatre.com, ameliamusicalplayhouse.com. SYLVIA This is the playful pooch who comes to join two empty-nesters (Greg and Kate) as they settle into a new way of living. Kate and Greg differ on what their child-free life should be. Through Jan. 27 at Players By the Sea, Jax Beach, $20-$23, playersbythesea.org. HARVEY It’s “guess who’s coming to dinner?” with bunny ears. The Pulitzer Prize-winning classic is staged Feb. 1-17 at Amelia Community Theatre, Studio 209, 209 Cedar St., Fernandina, 261-6749, $10-25, ameliacommunitytheatre.org. CABARET Leave your troubles behind and pop into the Kit Kat Klub for a night of unforgettable entertainment, 7:30 p.m. Feb. 1, Thrasher-Horne Center, 220 College Dr., Orange Park, 276-6815, $43-$83, thcenter.org. DANCE LOVE LIFE: A CONCERT FOR OUR COMMUNITY Jacksonville Dance Theatre and guest artist Jennifer Logan perform visceral and transcendent works 8 p.m. Feb. 3 at WJCT Studios, 100 Festival Park Ave., Downtown, $10-$20, eventbrite.com.

CLASSICAL + JAZZ

BLUE MUSE Jazz with spiritual improvisations is performed, 6 p.m. Jan. 25 at Lightner Museum, 75 King St., St. Augustine, lightnermuseum.org. THE MAGIC OF THE MOVIES Michael Krajewski and the Symphony perform iconic scores and songs from favorite films, with vocalist Lori Wilshire, 11 a.m. and 8 p.m. Jan. 26; 8 p.m. Jan. 27 at T-U Center, Downtown, $19-$79, jaxsymphoney.org. BLACK VIOLIN: CLASSICAL BOOM TOUR Classically trained Wil B. and Kev Marcus combine training with hip-hop influences to create a distinct multigenre sound (it goes boom); 4 & 7 p.m. Jan. 27 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., $40-$50, pontevedraconcerthall.com. MATTHEW HALL The pianist performs every Thur., Fri. & Sat. at Corner Bistro/Glass Hat Piano Bar & Grill, 9823 Tapestry Park Cir., Southside, 619-1931.

VIBRANT TRAILS

ROSEMARIE FIORE paints with smoke; watch her live 2-3 p.m. Jan. 27, at Space 42, Riverside, spacefortytwo.com.

JANUARY 24-30, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 19

COMEDY

TIFFANY HADDISH This funny woman, breakout star of Girls Trip, is starring with Tracy Morgan in the upcoming The Real O.G. She takes the stage here 8 p.m. Jan. 28 at The Florida Theatre, Downtown, $35-$55, floridatheatre.com. PATRICK GARRITY, STEVE MILLER The comics are on 8:30 p.m. Jan. 27 at The Comedy Club with Jackie Knight at Gypsy Cab Company’s Corner Bar, 828 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 461-8843. TEZ BROOKS Jacksonville’s own funnyman, Brooks takes keen aim at some of this fair city’s foibles, 8 p.m. Jan. 25 at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $15-$22, jacksonvillecomedy.com. BRANDON T. JACKSON The rapper, comic and actor performs 7:30 & 10 p.m. Jan. 26 & 27 at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, $23-$43, jacksonvillecomedy.com. JEFF DYE Dye is a nationally touring comedian, actor, host, prankster and Bigfoot enthusiast. He appears 7:30 p.m. Jan. 2527, 9:45 p.m. Jan. 26 & 27 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, 292-4242, $20-$114.50, comedyzone.com. LAUGH LOUNGE A weekly showcase of funny NEFla folks–or so says Creative Veins–is on 8 p.m. Jan. 27 at Dos Gatos, 123 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, creativeveins.com. FRED’S ALL-STAR COMEDIANS The funniest NEFLa comics (or so the website says) are on 7:30 p.m. Jan. 30 & 31 at The Comedy Zone, 292-4242, $10, comedyzone.com.

CALLS & WORKSHOPS

JACKSONVILLE JAZZ FESTIVAL POSTER The JJF, now in its 37th year, seeks portfolio submissions from artists who want to create the official 2018 festival poster. The chosen artist gets $2,000, free booth, two VIP passes; jacksonvillejazzfest.com. RAINBOW AWARDS The Rainbow Awards for Jacksonville are accepting nominations to honor local businesses, individuals, organizations, charities and groups to bring a positive awareness of the role the LGBTQIA community plays in making Jacksonville a better place; rainbowawardsjax.com. COMMUNITY FOUNDATION FOR NORTHEAST FLORIDA Grant opportunities are available for those serving young children, for individual professional artists to elevate their work and organizations serving at-risk and underserved populations at or near the Jacksonville-area Beaches, applications due Jan. 24-March 5, depending on grant, jaxcf.org. JACKSONVILLE MINI-MAKER FAIRE Groups or individuals may present projects, hobbies, and experiments for the MOSHsponsored event. Deadline Feb. 28, jacksonvillemakerfaire.com.

ART WALKS + MARKETS

FIRST FRIDAY ART WALK A self-guided tour of exhibits, live music and refreshments offered by 27 members of local art galleries, 5-9 p.m. Feb. 2 and every first Fri. in St. Augustine and St. Augustine Beach, 377-0198, artgalleriesofstaugustine.org. RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET WINTER SEASON Live music plus food, artists and a farmer’s row, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Feb. 3 under the Fuller Warren Bridge at 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com. ST. AUGUSTINE AMPHITHEATRE FARMERS MARKET Veggies, flowers, baked goods, handmade arts & crafts, a community booth, live music, 8:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Feb. 3 at 1340C A1A S., staugamphitheatre.com. Admission, parking free. FERNANDINA BEACH FARMERS MARKET Every Sat., 9 a.m.-1 p.m., year round, rain or shine. North Seventh Street, Fernandina, fernandinamarketplace.com.

MUSEUMS

CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 29 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummermuseum.org. A Collector’s Eye: Celebrating Joseph Jeffers Dodge and Mediterranea: American Art from the Graham D. Williford Collection, through Feb. 4. KARPELES MANUSCRIPT LIBRARY MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Downtown, 356-2992. 1st Things 1st, 28 First Coast Visual Artists address the First Amendment, through February. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911, mocajacksonville.unf.edu. Juan Fontanive Lopez’s Movement 4 is the atrium project. Call & Response, through April 1. Unverified by collaborative artists Kahn & Selesnick, Robert and Shana ParkeHarrison, Lori Nix, Jojakim Cortis, Adrian Sonderegger, Jennifer B. Thoreson and Thomas Jackson, through March 25. Circumvolve: Narratives and Responses to Life Cycles, new work by UNF student artistin-residence Rachel Huff Smith, displays through March 18. MANDARIN MUSEUM & HISTORICAL SOCIETY 11964 Mandarin Rd., mandarinmuseum.net. Civil War era artifacts recovered from the Union steamship Maple Leaf, items related to Harriet Beecher Stowe, a World War I exhibit, and displays related to the only remaining one-room schoolhouse in Duval County. MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY 1025 Museum Cir., Southbank, 396-MOSH, themosh.org. Ancient Rome: Epic Innovators & Engineers! shows artifacts and ancient technology through Jan. 28. Hands-on exhibit NANO presents basics of nanoscience and engineering, on display through June 17.

GALLERIES

20 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 24-30, 2018

THE 5 & DIME, A THEATRE COMPANY 112 E. Adams St., Downtown, the5anddime.org. This month’s featured artist is Madeleine Peck Wagner, showing a small selection of animalthemed works, through February. THE ART CENTER Jacksonville Landing, tacjacksonville.org. January’s featured artist is Razvan Balotescu. Monumental shows through March; a closing reception is 6-8 p.m. March 2. ADELE GRAGE CENTER 7160 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-5828. Coastal artist Alan Phillips exhibits new works, through February, alanphillipstudio.com. BREW 5 POINTS 1024 Park St., Riverside, 374-5789. Sarah Colado shows new works, through February.

HOBNOB GALLERY & EVENT SPACE 220 Riverside Ave., hobnobjax.com, 559-5677. Lori Taylor exhibits new works. An opening reception is 6 p.m. Jan. 26. HASKELL GALLEY Jacksonville International Airport. Thony Aiuppy shows his works through February. ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., 824-2310, staaa.org. Faces and Figures, interpretations of the human form; Emmett Fritz: A Centennial Collection runs through Jan. 29. SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 1 Independent Dr., Wells Fargo Bldg., Downtown. January’s guest artist is Allison Watson. SPACE 42 2670 Phyllis St., Riverside, 888-421-9222, spacefortytwo.com. Rosemarie Fiore works with handmade and atypical tools, 2-3 p.m. Jan. 27. THE SPACE GALLERY 120 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, longroadprojects.com. Sheida Soleimani’s Oppress(er)(ed) runs through February in conjunction with Paul O. Weiner’s Ol’ Glory, Ol’ Apologies. THE VAULT at 1930 1930 San Marco Blvd., 398-2890, thevaultat1930.com. Art from Around the World, Susan Astleford’s new work, is on display.

EVENTS

SUNSET SAFARI Wildlife sanctuary White Oak Conservation is opening its doors to offer the public a look at the beautiful, rare animals living there. Light bites and drinks follow; 3:30 p.m. Jan. 25 at 591705 White Oak Rd., Yulee, 225-3396, $175, whiteoakwildlife.org. AFRO ARTS CLASSES Explore African drumming and dance, 6:30 p.m. Jan. 25 at Nan Nkama Pan African Drum & Dance Ensemble, 3674 Beach Blvd., Southside, 373-1602, $5-$65. WINTERLAND No. 1 A fest of “not-your-little-brother’s-garagerock” is 6 p.m. Jan. 26, 5 p.m. Jan. 27 at The Space Gallery, 120 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, $15/admission; $15/beer garden, squareup.com/store/winterland-presents. FULL MOON MOUNTAIN BIKE RIDE Ride through Tillie K. Fowler Park under a full moon! Meet up at 6:30 p.m., roll out 6:45 p.m. in the Target parking lot, 6331 Roosevelt Blvd., openroadbicycles.com. FOURTH FRIDAYS at MAIN LIBRARY Women Writing for a Change host a monthly hour-long writing workshop in Maker’s Space, noon Jan. 26 at Main Library, 303 N. Laura St., Downtown, free but registration required, meetup.com/ Women-Writing-for-a-Change-Jacksonville. MAPPING OUR PAST Join Antique Roadshow’s Christopher Lane in Main Library’s Map Room exploring the geographic myths of the American Southeast, 3 p.m. Jan. 27. The entire day of programming includes a free appraisal of two of your antique treasures from B. Langston’s Antiques & Liquidations (limit two per person). 11 a.m.-4 p.m., 303 N. Laura St., Downtown, 630-2409. SOUTHERN SWELLS ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY PARTY Good company and better beer, including can and bottle releases, with live music by N.W. Izzard, noon Jan. 27 & 28 at 1312 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, southernswells.com. WOLFSON CHILDREN’S CHALLENGE MARATHON & FUN RUN At Wolfson Children’s Hospital, no child is turned away due to an inability to pay. This marathon helps raise funds for the organization, and by extension the children, 7 a.m. Jan. 27, Baseball Grounds of Jacksonville, 301 Randolph Blvd., Downtown, wolfsonchildrenschallenge.com. SEED SWAP A plant sale and a seed swap are held 8 a.m.-4 p.m. Jan. 27 at 10400 Indian Walk Rd., Southside, plantswithapurpose.net. THE POWER OF PREVENTION Second annual HIV/AIDS awareness brunch is noon Jan. 27 at Beaver Street Enterprises, 1225 W. Beaver St., Northside, $10, jgc-oesphafl.org. RIVER BLESSING The Stetson Kennedy Foundation and St. Johns County Parks & Recreation Department host a spiritual, non-religious event inspired by Native American teachings. It’s a gathering to give thanks to the river. The Matanzas Riverkeeper and St. Johns Riverkeeper discuss the waterways they serve. Drums are welcome for a simple heartbeat during the blessing, 9-11 a.m. Jan. 27 at Alpine Groves Park, 2060 S.R. 13, Switzerland, friendsofalpinepark@gmail.com. GIANT BOOK SALE Books, books, books! Plus other stuff, noon-7 p.m. Jan. 25, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Jan. 26 and 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Jan. 27 at Clay County Public Library, 2054 Plainfield Ave., Orange Park, 278-4750. HURRICANE RELIEF ZOO CLEAN-UP Severely damaged by Hurricane Irma, the zoo needs our help! Aid in cleaning up the shoreline along the Trout River, 10 a.m.-noon Jan. 27 starting at 370 Zoo Pkwy., Northside, signupgenius.com. KAY DEW SHOSTAK The author reads from and signs copies of her book, Wish You Were Here, 1-4 p.m. Jan. 27 at The Book Loft, 214 Centre St., Amelia Island, thebookloftamelia.com. TAKE ’EM DOWN JAX, RALLY FOR CHANGE A rally to advocate for the removal of Confederate monuments, 2 p.m. Jan. 28, Hemming Park, Downtown. MO’MONEY, ART & CULTURE A discussion with Jessica Santiago, CEO of Wall Street Fine Art. But do fact-check her a bit: Once a representative of her organization reduced Warhol’s iconic soup cans to a “brand collaboration.” She speaks 11:30 a.m. Jan. 30 at Economic Roundtable of Jacksonville, 2800 University Blvd. N., Southside, $30, ertjax.com. M4MM JACKSONVILLE MEETUP Discuss Florida’s current Medical Marijuana program, public policy, education and business opportunities, 6:30 p.m. Jan. 30 at 9191 Skinner Pkwy., Southside, minorities4medicalmarijuana.org. _________________________________________ To list an event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price, contact number to print to Madeleine Peck Wagner; email madeleine@folioweekly. com or mail 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Items run as space is available. Deadline noon Wed. for next Wed. printing.

FOLIO A+E : ARTS Jacksonville native Djuan Ballinger introduces Duval to THE STOMPDOWN

MIND YOUR

STEP H

ow do you combine dance, history, fundraising, fun and educational inspiration into one event? The Stompdown, featuring a high-energy competition between elite step teams from across the nation, accomplishes just that. Local dancer Djuan Ballinger has been immersed in stepping since he was a student at Douglas Anderson School of the Arts, ascending the ranks to step master at Florida A&M University. After he graduated, Ballinger continued organizing shows for the Divine Nine step teams, comprising fraternities and sororities that are part of the historically black National Pan-Hellenic Council. While touring with the Drumline Live Broadway musical and working as an actor and choreographer, Ballinger realized stepping transcended college campuses. Last year, he evolved and expanded his show to include youth, middle school, high school and non-Divine Nine step teams. At the same time, The Stompdown broadened its mission to make a positive impact on youth, raise money for scholarships and book vouchers, and team up with nonprofits like Boys & Girls Club, American Cancer Society, American Diabetes Association and the March of Dimes. Now, Ballinger and his team—Bryan Elliott, Aaron Hayden, Shericka Cunningham, Ojay Timot and Connor Kuba—bring The Stompdown to Jacksonville for the very first time.

teams, though. So I went over to Stanton and asked if I could be a part of their step team. I had to get a letter of approval from my teachers at Douglas Anderson, but I made the team and ended up becoming step master.

Folio Weekly: How did you first become interested in step? Djuan Ballinger: I was introduced to dance as a little boy, but I learned step from a local high schooler one morning while waiting at the bus stop. I mimicked what he did, and he said, “You’re picking it up pretty quick.” I said, “I guess I am—can you teach me another?” I knew right then and there I had a love of stepping.

money, but I also decided to use that platform to educate the youth in a fun way. Stepping motivated me to go to college—now I want to take that concept and motivate middle and high school students. The opportunities are out there, even if sometimes we’re not exposed to them. People will say, “College isn’t for me.” And I’m, like, “Why? Is that something you just heard?” I want to inspire people. With stepping, you’re blessed with a gift. It’s an art and a trade; if you cultivate that gift, you can make money. Maybe even become your own entrepreneur.

But your path to participation wasn’t easy? The next day, I asked my teacher at Douglas Anderson if I could start a step team. Since DA was a performing arts magnet school, we didn’t have step teams, marching bands or football

What happened next? I knew if I wanted to continue stepping, I had to be a part of a fraternity, so I started preparing myself to go to college. I ended up at Florida A&M University, and on the first day, I tried out for my dorm’s step team. A week later, the captain asked me if I’d be interested in becoming a step choreographer, and I said, “Absolutely!” After graduating in 2006, I said, “I want to keep this step thing up!” So I started producing step shows in Tallahassee with local non-Divine Nine teams. How did that evolve into The Stompdown? After touring with Drumline Live all over the country and overseas, I met more and more people who stepped. So last year, I got more teams involved. I wanted to incorporate everybody. The Stompdown provides a platform to compete for awards and prize

THE STOMPDOWN WITH FAMU STRIKERS

7 p.m. Jan. 27, The Florida Theatre, Downtown, $20 advance; $25 door, 355-2787, floridatheatre.com

How widely has The Stompdown toured? We’ve traveled throughout Georgia,

Alabama and Florida, but it means a lot to bring the show to The Florida Theatre— the first step show ever at this historical landmark. My great-grandmother passed a couple of weeks ago at the age of 107, and some of her last words to me were, “Keep going, no matter what. Take The Stompdown as far as you can.” That was truly a blessing. Stepping runs deep for you, on a personal and professional level … Stepping is a full-contact sport—rhythmic movement between hands and feet. As a team member, you become a part of this unit, practicing until 3, 4 or 5 in the morning to perfect your steps. Even outside the fraternities and sororities, stepping is a brotherhood and sisterhood. And when it comes to the performance, the energy is dynamic. Your adrenaline rushes—it’s a high, really. I’m guessing that’s why the popularity of stepping persists, hundreds of years after its creation. It comes from this historical background in Africa. Gumboot dance [came from South African miners] who couldn’t really [freely] speak their minds, so they communicated through stepping. Then it got adopted by fraternities and sororities, and now everyone steps: white, Filipino, Mexican, Asian. It incorporates so many styles of rhythms and beats, from salsa, hip hop, jazz and more. People can use step to express themselves, to cope with stress or to celebrate. It’s such a vibrant art form—when you see stepping done in person, it’s impossible not to feel celebratory. It really can be a movement for positivity. There are enough bad things going on in the world—The Stompdown is one positive thing that can inspire the kids. The way I see it, service is the price you pay for the space you occupy. With step, I want to get inside the heads of our youth so we can transform them to aim for success.

Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly.com JANUARY 24-30, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 21

FOLIO A+E : MUSIC

One day you’ll wake up ou don’t miss your water ’till your well To a world of regret runs dry,” reflected William Bell in All the things you can’t remember the chorus of his Stax Records debut I’m still trying to forget single. But from a career perspective, after some 60 years and 16 albums, the Memphis One memory Bell can’t forget is from soul legend has never let that happen. 50 years ago, when he heard his friend and In recent years, he has performed at labelmate Otis Redding had died in a plane the Obama White House, played London’s crash on a lake near Madison, Wisconsin, Royal Albert Hall, and been inducted into cutting the 26-year-old soul legend’s life short. the Memphis Music Hall of Fame alongside Bell, who’d spent the week before in the studio Justin Timberlake. He was also prominently with Redding (recording his landmark single featured in the documentary Take Me to the “Dock of the Bay”), is still haunted by the loss. River, which inspired his current touring “I got a call from a disc jockey friend of ours show of the same name, featuring an all-star in Milwaukee and he asked me, ‘Have you heard band that includes Bobby Rush and Charlie about Otis?’ And I said, ‘No, did he have a great Musselwhite. Last year, the 78-year-old artist show?’ He said, ‘No, his plane is missing.’ won his first Grammy and shared center stage “I couldn’t take all that in at once,” said Bell. with the 33-year-old Austin bluesman Gary “I told him ‘Don’t kid around,’ but he told me Clark Jr. Together, they performed another he was at the radio station and had come up on Bell classic, “Born Under a Bad Sign.” a tickertape. He said, ‘No, I’m reading it now His 2016 release, This Is Where I and it says that they haven’t found him yet, Live, nominated in Traditional R&B and it crashed in the bay or something.’ And I’m Americana Grammy categories (it won the thinking, ‘Well, Otis is a good swimmer, he’ll latter), is an album of soulful yearning and be able to come out of that.’” hard-earned satisfaction capturing that Bell’s wishful thinking was for naught. indefinable Stax Records magic sound Bell Like most R&B artists of his era, Bell grew helped establish. up singing gospel in church, but the sirens of The fact that Bell was nominated in two secular music soon called. very different Grammy genres proves his new “I would sneak down to Beale Street work is no more easily labeled than work [in Memphis], and hang out and watch done back in the day. Over time, Bell’s songs Rufus Thomas and all those people who have been covered by a remarkably diverse came through town. And range of performers, everybody knew me because including bluesman Albert TAKE ME TO THE RIVER: I was already singing King, classic supergroup WILLIAM BELL, BOBBY RUSH, around town.” Cream, ‘cosmic American DON BRYANT A few years later, he music’ legend Gram Memphis Soul & Rhythm Blues recorded his first single, Parsons, reggae artist Revue, 8 p.m. Jan. 30, The Florida “Alone on a Rainy Night,” as Peter Tosh, ’80s-pop icon Theatre, $29-$39 part of local doo-wop group Billy Idol and, perhaps The Del Rios. He then signed most improbably, ambient with Stax Records, initially as a staff writer. musician Brian Eno. So how different is Memphis now from “I think a lot of artists in every genre of the days when Jerry Wexler had to persuade music relate to my songs because I come from Billboard magazine to change the name of its a viewpoint of truth, and I try to write in such black music chart from Race Records to R&B? a way that there’s nothing ambiguous about it,” said Bell. “I try to make it simple and “Memphis changed quite a bit after Dr. [Martin plain; a lot of artists relate to that.” Luther] King was assassinated,” said Bell, who Such words are typical of Bell’s affable now lives in Atlanta. “And it changed for Stax humility. Music historian Peter Guralnick, by when Otis died. For a while, the music in contrast, describes This Is Where I Live as a Memphis just kind of died. But now I can see where there’s a resurgence. I can see that energy “deeply soulful, deeply introspective album.” in Memphis coming back, and that feels good.” The praise is confirmed by its R&B sound and lyrics—among the songwriter’s best. Bill Forman Here’s a sample: mail@folioweekly.com

William Bell REFLECTS on career highs and personal lows

MEMORIES WITH THE WEIGHT OF

WATER

22 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 24-30, 2018

FOLIO A+E : MUSIC At nearly 40 years on the music scene, indie duo They Might Be Giants is HEAD & SHOULDERS above multiverse tthe he aalt-rock lt rock m ultiverse

STILL

LARGE

AND IN

hen it comes to the longevity and unpredictable turns of They Might Be Giants, autonomy has been the one constant. When John Linnell and John Flansburgh started the band in New York City in 1982, they were deep in the thendeveloping DIY scene. From its inception, self-sufficiency has been as crucial as any set list or major label interest. Earliest tours featured the two Johns decked out in fez-like Dadaist hats, accompanied by a boombox or drum machine. The duo has toured with a backing band for decades, but that initial enthusiasm to create wasn’t based on gimmickry but rather a tacit understanding of the bare essentials any musician needs to create. Honing that sensibility, combined with the aforementioned autonomy, has served Linnell and Flansburgh well many times. The band enjoyed success during the ’80s and ’90s alt-rock gold rush. They’ve been labeled, even dismissed, as a “comedy” act possibly due in part to a tendency to dip into manically upbeat songs and gleefully odd wordplay on idiosyncratic subject matter. The two Johns might amusingly riff on science or arcane American history, but they’re just as ardent addressing inevitable morbidity and death, heartache and mental collapse. You know—funny stuff. For the last two decades, more and more folks have hopped on the TMBG bandwagon, due to film and TV soundtrack work (the Malcolm in the Middle theme song, their tune “Boss of Me,” was that era’s earworm) and their Grammy win. Yet the ongoing refrain for They Might Be Giants returns to a key trait: independence. Despite relentless recording and touring, some TMBG achievements may be lesser known. In 1999, they were the first major-label artists to release an album online. In ‘04, they launched one of the first artistowned online music stores; their own label, Idlewild, soon followed. Whether they’re corrupting or enlightening young minds remains to be seen—the pair has released a series of immensely popular children’s albums. The music will, arguably, hit the refresh button on audiences for decades. On theymightbegiants.com, the band posted this request in the SHOWS section: “Please don’t try bringing kids to bars,” which is a great suggestion in general; Wednesday’s concert at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall is ages 14 and older. Folio Weekly spoke to John Linnell before the band’s gig that night at The Cat’s Cradle in Carrboro, North Carolina. He gave us the skinny on not dying on tour, Duval humidity and TMBG’s latest release.

CHARGE Folio Weekly: Let me age both of us right out of the gate: I saw the band play when I was all of 14, in 1986 at Einstein A Go-Go here in Jax Beach. You and John wore those big hats and had boombox backing tracks as your “band.” John Linnell: Oh, you’re kidding me! I remember that show vividly. I don’t remember there being a huge crowd but I remember the show quite well. I think it was like 100 degrees in the club … this was at night. And outside it was maybe 90. So I had this very provincial … you know, I’d never been that far south and the club was right on the beach. So my memory is, we did this whole show and I’m dripping with sweat. I’d brought along a pair of shorts, so after we finished up I changed and ran out into the ocean, thinking, “Oh, I’ll get to cool off.” Because I grew up in Maine where the ocean never got above 40 degrees even during the summer [laughs] and when I jumped in that night, the water was warm. [Laughs.] It actually felt hotter than the rest of the night. I didn’t get cool; I just wound up kind of salty. You’re just two days into this tour. After decades of this, how do you survive it? We’re trying to maintain a certain level of health. Altogether, we have 11 guys touring in very close confines, so if one of us gets sick, we all get sick; that’s always bad. We get lots of sleep; lots of rest. That’s very important. We try to eat well, we drink a ton of coffee, as some of our fans might know.

THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS

8 p.m. Wednesday, Jan. 24, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, $25 advance; $30 day of; ages 14 & older, pvconcerthall.com

That was not the Johnny Thunders answer I hoped for. I know, I know! It’s disappointing. But you know, John and I are both in our upper 50s, pushing 60 now. I’d like to think that if Johnny was still with us, he’d probably have a similar health plan. [Laughs.] I Like Fun is your 20th studio album. This far in your career, how do you expect the album or certain tracks will be perceived, or is that even on the table? We started when we both in our mid-20s. So we were grown adults when we began this whole journey. At that point, I think we were worldly enough to know you don’t just have these dramatic, “movie-like,” ascendant career moments. At least for us, we knew it was going to involve working and not be

disappointed if it wasn’t some ridiculous, meteoric rollercoaster. And we were really lucky under those terms—within about three albums, we got a lot of success. We started touring internationally and doing all this stuff that we had no guarantee of ever being able to pull off. So by this time, obviously, we know how everything works and we’re very open to any delightful good fortune that might come our way—but we also know how to run our business. What are some of the album’s overall themes? I wouldn’t say there are any new ones. We’ve been promoting this notion, which may not be too hard to figure out, that there’s a lot of death on the new album. The death theme seems to be expanding. There are also musical ideas we’re developing and getting deeper into. I admit listening to an unhealthy amount of Sparks lately, but on “I Left My Body,” I hear a sub-current of Sparks and early Brian Eno. You were a teen in the ’70s—did you get into that proto-electronic/glam scene? You’re not wrong. It’s a little complicated because consciously, with that song, I was sort of, in my mind, ripping off those Iggy Pop albums David Bowie produced. That’s a little bit of the sound in that. But I have to tell you that Flansburgh was a massive Sparks fan when he was a teenager. He’d probably say they were his favorite band when he was 16. I knew him [then] and I heard a ton of Sparks thanks to John. [Laughs.] TMBG has survived over most early ’80s bands. You’ve seen all the fly-by-night genres and trends arc and fall. You talked of a pragmatic, healthy touring method. After nearly 40 years, how have you sustained this band, creatively and emotionally? You know, that’s a great question. We have nothing to really compare our longevity to. We still like doing this and we don’t have a sense of like, “We’ve finally met all of our dreams so we can now curl up and die” or something. I think we felt this was always going to be an ongoing project as long as we were allowed to keep doing it—that it’d be something we could sustain. Obviously, the big challenge is coming up with new material and not repeating ourselves; that’s not gotten easier. It’s a huge challenge. As far as the “job” aspect? It’s still interesting, fulfilling and fun.

Daniel A. Brown mail@folioweekly.com

_____________________________________ Edited for content and clarity. For our full interview with John Linnell, go to folioweekly.com.

JANUARY 24-30, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23

THE ROTTEN MANGOS perform their droning, wonk-i-fied Velvet Undergroundinflected sounds 8 p.m. Jan. 28, 1904 Music Hall, Downtown.

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK

24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 24-30, 2018

MUSICAL THRONES 8 p.m. Jan. 24, The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $25-$50. SOULO LYON 9:30 p.m. Jan. 24, Surfer the Bar, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 372-9756. THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS 7 p.m. Jan. 24, PVC Hall, 1050 A1A N., $20-$25. VENARDOS CIRCUS Jan. 24-Feb. 10, St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., 209-0367, $15-$35. DJ CAPONE 9:30 p.m. Jan. 24, Cheers Park Avenue, 1138 Park Ave., Orange Park, 269-4855, $3. LUKE PEACOCK 7 p.m. Jan. 24, Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., St. Nicholas, 352-7008, $10. JACOB JOHNSON, ARVID SMITH 7 p.m. Jan. 25, Mudville Music Room, $10. MARTY STUART & his FABULOUS SUPERLATIVES 7 p.m. Jan. 25, PVC Hall, $39-$59. DOROTHY, LOVESICK RADIO 8 p.m. Jan. 25, Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-749, $17.50-$67.50. IVAN PULLEY 6 p.m. Jan. 25, Boondocks Grill & Bar, 2808 Henley Rd., Green Cove Springs, 406-9497. FELLY, GYYPS, TRIP CARTER 8 p.m. Jan. 25, 1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St., Downtown, $17-$20. The FIREWATER TENT REVIVAL 9:30 p.m. Jan. 25, Cheers Park Avenue, $2. NEWROCK SOUL 9:30 p.m. Jan. 26, Surfer the Bar. NO MEANS YES, BLURG, DANNY ATTACK 8 p.m. Jan. 26, Jack Rabbits, $8. SALT & PINE ALBUM RELEASE SHOW 8:30 p.m. Jan. 26, Café Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311, $10. The BIRD TRIBE 8 p.m. Jan. 26, Blue Jay Listening Room, 2457B Third St. S., Jax Beach, $25. ZEB PADGETT, JULIA GULIA 9:30 p.m. Jan. 26, Cheers Park Avenue, $2. MASON JENNINGS 8 p.m. Jan. 26, PVC Hall, $36-$39. SOUTH PAW, JONATHAN LEE 7 p.m. Jan. 26, Boondocks Grill & Bar. MIKE’S MIC 7 p.m. Jan. 26, Mudville Music Room, $10. SGT. BEAR, RUNNERS HIGH, The STATES 8 p.m. Jan. 26, 1904 Music Hall, $8-$10. THE STOMPDOWN 7 p.m. Jan. 27, Florida Theatre, $20. BLACK VIOLIN 4 & 7 p.m. Jan. 27, PVC Hall, sold out. CHRISTINA CARTER, ERIC COLLETTE 7 p.m. Jan. 27, Boondocks Grill & Bar CES CRU, The PALMER SQUARE, GPO 8 p.m. Jan. 27, Jack Rabbits, $20. JULIA GULIA 9:30 p.m. Jan. 27, Cheers Park Avenue, $3. CHILLULA 9:30 p.m. Jan. 27, Surfer the Bar. ALLMAN GOLDFLIES BAND 8 p.m. Jan. 27, Blue Jay Listening Room, $25. YONDER MOUNTAIN STRING BAND, OLD SALT UNION 8 p.m. Jan. 28, PVC Hall, $29.50-$34.50. BEN SPARCO & THE NEW EFFECT 8 p.m. Jan. 28, Blue Jay Listening Room, $20. MOJO ROUX 7:30 p.m. Jan. 28, Whiskey Jax, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Southside, 634-7208. KENNY YARBROUGH, SOUTHERN TIDE 7 p.m. Jan. 28, Limelight Theatre, 11 Mission Ave., St. Augustine.

WORLD INFERNO FRIENDSHIP SOCIETY, COMMUNITY CENTER, TAIL LIGHT REBELLION, MUDTOWN 8 p.m. Jan. 28, Nighthawks, 4952 Roosevelt Blvd., $12-$15. ROTTEN MANGOS, FERNWAY, BILLY & BELLA 8 p.m. Jan. 28, 1904 Music Hall, $6-$8. DOLL SKIN, GOLD FRANKINCENSE & MYRRH 8 p.m. Jan. 29, Jack Rabbits, $8. TAKE ME TO THE RIVER: WILLIAM BELL, BOBBY RUSH, DON BRYANT 8 p.m. Jan. 30, Florida Theatre, $29-$39. CIRQUE ZUMA ZUMA 7:30 p.m. Jan. 30, Ritz Theatre, 829 N. Davis St., $29. GAELIC STORM 8 p.m. Jan. 30, PVC Hall, $33-$53. ROBBIE LITT 9:30 p.m. Jan. 30, Surfer the Bar. HAUNTED SUMMER, GOV CLUB 7 p.m. Jan. 30, Jack Rabbits, $8. G3 2018: JOE SATRIANI, PHIL COLLEN, JOHN PETRUCCI 7 p.m. Jan. 31, Florida Theatre, $35-$89.50. DJ CAPONE 9:30 p.m. Jan. 31, Cheers Park Avenue, $3. TAD JENNINGS 9:30 p.m. Jan. 31, Surfer the Bar. ZOLOPHT, FOURBARREL BAND, JOHN PARKER URBAN TRIO 8 p.m. Jan. 31, Jack Rabbits, $8.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

JUNCO ROYALS Feb. 1, Blue Jay Listening Room TANYA TUCKER Feb. 1, Florida Theatre ASHTON TAYLOR Feb. 1, Boondocks Grill & Bar LONELY HIGHWAY Feb. 1, Cheers Park Avenue HARRIS BROTHERS Feb. 1, Mudville Music Room JOHN 5 & THE CREATURES, JACKIE STRANGER Feb. 2, 1904 Music Hall DEAD COUNTRY GENTLEMEN, LORETTO, LAKE DISNEY Feb. 2, Jack Rabbits BRUCE KATZ BAND Feb. 2, Blue Jay Listening Room LIFT Feb. 2, Cheers Park Avenue MATT KNOWLES, JONATHAN LEE Feb. 2, Boondocks Grill & Bar ROOTS OF A REBELLION, KAT HALL Feb. 2, Surfer the Bar ADAM ANT Feb. 2, Florida Theatre MARY WILSON Feb. 3, Ritz Theatre LOYALS, EMERY Feb. 3, Murray Hill Theatre HARD 2 HANDLE Feb. 3, Boondocks Grill & Bar FAT CACTUS Feb. 3, Cheers Park Avenue SIXTIES SPECTACULAR: JAY & THE AMERICANS, THE BROOKLYN BRIDGE, DENNIS TUFANO (BUCKINGHAMS), BOB MIRANDA (THE HAPPENINGS) Feb. 3, Thrasher-Horne Center SPAFFORD, THE GROOVE ORIENT Feb. 3, Jack Rabbits JOE MULLINS & THE RADIO RAMBLERS Feb. 3, Mudville Music Room SUN-DRIED VIBES, SOL RYDAH Feb. 3, Surfer the Bar THE VERVE PIPE Feb. 4, Café Eleven BILLY BUCHANAN Feb. 4, Blue Jay Listening Room FEEDING FINGERS Feb. 4, Nighthawks VIRGIN FLOWER, FEEDING FINGERS, PASS/AGES, SEVERED + SAID Feb. 5, Jack Rabbits JAKE SHIMABUKURO Feb. 6, PVC Hall NFFN ARTIST SHOWCASE Feb. 7, Mudville Music Room DIANA KRALL Feb. 7, Florida Theatre SEAN CLARK, UNCLE DAVE GRIFFIN, WILLIS GORE Feb. 7, Blue Jay Listening Room

TESSA VIOLET, SECRET MIDNIGHT PRESS, GIVE ME MOTION Feb. 7, Jack Rabbits FRONT PORCH SERIES: JOHN Mc wwCUTCHEON, GRANT PEEPLES Feb. 8, PVC Hall MICHAEL FRANCIS McCARTHY Feb. 8, Blue Jay Listening Room CODY JINKS, WARD DAVIS, SUNNY SWEENEY Feb. 8, Florida Theatre MARK JOHNS Feb. 8, Boondocks Grill & Bar ROGER THAT Feb. 8, Cheers Park Avenue L.A. GUNS, BUDDERSIDE Feb. 8, Jack Rabbits THE KENNEDYS Feb. 8, Mudville Music Room BRANDON LEINO Feb. 9, Boondocks Grill & Bar TESLA Feb. 9, Florida Theatre FORT DEFIANCE Feb. 9, Blue Jay Listening Room ERIC COLLETTE Feb. 9, Boondocks Grill & Bar IVAN & BUDDY, IVY LEAGUE Feb. 9, Cheers Park Avenue JOHN MORELAND Feb. 9, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DECLAN McKENNA, CHAPPELL ROAN Feb. 9, 1904 Music Hall ELLAMENO BEAT, OF GOOD NATURE, N.W. IZZARD Feb. 9, Jack Rabbits OOGEE WAWA Feb. 9, Surfer the Bar BARRETT THOMPSON, JONATHAN LEE Feb. 10, Boondocks Grill & Bar G LOVE & SPECIAL SAUCE, KRISTY LEE Feb. 10, PVC Hall LITTLE RIVER BAND, PABLO CRUISE Feb. 10, Florida Theatre SALT & PINE Feb. 10, Blue Jay Listening Room IVY LEAGUE Feb. 10, Cheers Park Avenue The LANGSTON HUGHES PROJECT Feb. 10, Ritz Theatre SETH GLIER Feb. 11, Café Eleven UNDER THE STREETLAMP Feb. 11, PVC Hall JOHN MORELAND, RUSTON KELLY Feb. 11, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JASON EADY Feb. 11, Mudville Music Room BLUES TRAVELER, LOS COLOGNES Feb. 11, Florida Theatre LESS THAN JAKE, FOUR YEAR STRONG, DIRECT HIT, BEARINGS Feb. 12, Mavericks Live ELIZABETH COOK, DARRIN BRADBURY Feb. 12, Jack Rabbits RIVER CITY RHYTHM KINGS Feb. 12, Mudville Music Room FORQ Feb. 13, 1904 Music Hall THE HOT SARDINES Feb. 13, Florida Theatre QUEENS OF THE NIGHT Feb. 14, Nighthawks MISSISSIPPI JOHN HURT FOUNDATION BENEFIT Feb. 14, Mudville Music Room ERIC COLLETTE & COTY Feb. 15, Boondocks Grill & Bar HARDCASTLE, SWIMM Feb. 15, Jack Rabbits PUDDLES PITY PARTY Feb. 15, PVC Hall BOTTLE ROCKETS, CHUCK PROPHET & THE MISSION EXPRESS Feb. 16, PVC Hall MOORS & McCUMBER Feb. 16, Blue Jay Listening Room MATT KNOWLES Feb. 16, Boondocks Grill & Bar THE VALENTINE’S LOVE JAM: TYRESE, JOE, AVANT, DONELL JONES, SILK Feb. 16, Veterans Memorial Arena WOOD CHICKENS, CONCRETE CRIMINALS Feb. 16, Rain Dogs BARRETT THOMPSON Feb. 16, Boondocks Grill & Bar ANDY JONES, LOVE MONKEY Feb. 16, Cheers Park Avenue CHRIS YOUNG Feb. 16, St. Augustine Amphitheatre LOST STARS, FLIPTURN, SOUTHPOINT Feb. 16, 1904 Music Hall MEKLIT Feb. 17, MOSH

JANUARY 24-30, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC THE DOG APOLLO, WINTER WAVE, DENVER HALL Feb. 17, Jack Rabbits HEATHER LEE, JORDAN WYNN Feb. 17, Blue Jay Listening Room MARK JOHNS Feb. 17, Boondocks Grill & Bar RUNNER’S HIGH Feb. 17, Nighthawks SIERRA HULL Feb. 17, PVC Hall WRONG WAY (SUBLIME TRIBUTE), CRANE Feb. 17, Surfer the Bar DANIEL O’DONNELL Feb. 17, Florida Theatre 21 BLUE!, LONGINEU PARSONS, TED SHUMATE Feb. 17, Mudville Music Room THE HEAVY PETS, BIG MEAN SOUND MACHINE, CUSTARD PIE, WHALE FAREL Feb. 17, 1904 Music Hall WILLIE NELSON & FAMILY, LOS LONELY BOYS Feb. 18, St. Augustine Amphitheatre The STOLEN/PATTERNIST Feb. 18, Jack Rabbits BARRY MANILOW Feb. 18, Times-Union Center GORDON LIGHTFOOT Feb. 18, Florida Theatre COLIN QUINN Feb. 18, PVC Hall GEORGE BENSON Feb. 19, Thrasher-Horne Center ERIC JOHNSON, TOMMY TAYLOR, KYLE BROCK, ARIELLE Feb. 20, PVC Hall SUGAR LIME BLUE Feb. 20, Blue Jay Listening Room HEATHER MALONEY Feb. 21, Café Eleven DIRTY CELLO Feb. 21, Blue Jay Listening Room ROBERT CRAY & HIS BAND Feb. 21, PVC Hall RODRIGUEZ Feb. 21, Florida Theatre LUKE PEACOCK Feb. 22, Mudville Music Room MATT KNOWLES Feb. 22, Boondocks Grill & Bar VEGAS GRAY Feb. 22, Cheers Park Avenue SOUTHERN CULTURE on The SKIDS Feb. 22, St. Augustine Amphitheatre’s Front Porch JAMEY JOHNSON Feb. 22, Florida Theatre DOYLE BRAMHALL II, BRANDY ZDAN Feb. 22, PVC Hall MINDI ABAIR & the BONESHAKERS, AIR SUPPLY Feb. 23, Ritz Theatre LIP BONE REDDING Feb. 23, Blue Jay Listening Room MARK JOHNS, BLISTUR Feb. 23, Cheers Park Avenue LYNDIE BURRIS Feb. 23, Boondocks Grill & Bar JAMIE DeFRATES, MIKE SHACKELFORD, LARRY MANGUM Feb. 23, Mudville Music Room EARTHKRY, I-RESOLUTION Feb. 23, Surfer the Bar ZEB PADGETT Feb. 23, Boondocks Grill & Bar CHRIS BARRON Feb. 23, Café Eleven JUSTIN SYMBOL & the GOD BOMBS Feb. 23, Jack Rabbits GEORGE WINSTON Feb. 23, PVC Hall The Blackwater Sol Revue: JJ GREY & MOFRO, LOS LOBOS, NORTH MISSISSIPPI ALLSTARS, MARCUS KING BAND, more Feb. 24, St. Augustine Amphitheatre BRANDON LEINO Feb. 24, Boondocks Grill & Bar The EXPENDABLES, THROUGH the ROOTS, PACIFIC DUB Feb. 24, St. Augustine Amphitheatre’s Backyard Stage DAMON FOWLER Feb. 24, Blue Jay Listening Room BLISTUR Feb. 24, Cheers Park Avenue LITTLE JAKE & the SOUL SEARCHERS Feb. 24, Mudville Music Room THE WEEPIES Feb. 24, PVC Hall ERIC COLLETTE Feb. 24, Boondocks Grill & Bar UNKNOWN HINSON, J.D. WILKES CD RELEASE FIRE DREAM Feb. 24, Jack Rabbits AN EVENING WITH MAVIS STAPLES Feb. 25, PVC Hall THE MOUNTAINTOP Feb. 27, Ritz Theatre MICHAEL McDONALD Feb. 27, Florida Theatre JORMA KAUKONEN Feb. 27, PVC Hall WILD ADRIATIC Feb. 28, Surfer the Bar CANDLEBOX, STATE to STATE Feb. 28, PVC Hall BLACKBERRY SMOKE March 1, Florida Theatre CAIN’T NEVER COULD, LARA HOPE & the ARKTONES March 1, Nighthawks CHAD JASMINE March 1, Blue Jay Listening Room

GINGER BEARD MAN March 1, Cheers Park Avenue NIGHT of BEE GEES March 1, Thrasher-Horne Center MURIEL ANDERSON March 1, Mudville Music Room RAGLAND March 1, Jack Rabbits DIXIE DREGS March 1, PVC Hall TOWER of POWER March 2, PVC Hall PHILLIP PHILLIPS March 2, Florida Theatre BARRETT THOMPSON, LYNDIE BURRIS March 2, Boondocks Grill & Bar BOBBY LEE RODGERS March 2, Blue Jay Listening Room GRANT PEEPLES March 2, Mudville Music Room FLEET FOXES March 2, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JOHN HAMMOND March 3, PVC Hall The GEORGIA FLOOD March 3, Jack Rabbits JUSTIN MOORE, DYLAN SCOTT March 3, St. Augustine Amphitheatre TIERNEY SUTTON BAND March 4, Ritz Theatre KNOCKED LOOSE, TERROR, JESUS PIECE, STONE March 4, 1904 Music Hall ANA POPOVIC March 7, PVC Hall SEAN CLARK, UNCLE DAVE GRIFFIN, WILLIS GORE March 7, Blue Jay Listening Room SONREAL March 8, Jack Rabbits SARAH SHOOK & DISARMERS March 8, Blue Jay Listening Room ANDY McKEE March 8, PVC Hall 25TH ANNUAL GUITAR GATHERING: The LOS ANGELES GUITAR QUARTET March 8, Florida Theatre; DASotA benefit CELTIC MUSIC & HERITAGE FESTIVAL: EMMET CAHILL, DUBLIN CITY RAMBLERS, SEVEN NATIONS, RATHKELTAIR, EMISH, ALBANNACH, ENTER THE HAGGIS, STEEL CITY ROVERS, HOUSE OF HAMILL March 9-11, Francis Field, St. Augustine TRAVIS TRITT, THE CHARLIE DANIELS BAND, THE MARSHALL TUCKER BAND, THE OUTLAWS March 9, St. Augustine Amphitheatre COAST MODERN March 9, Jack Rabbits RESONANT ROGUES March 9, Blue Jay Listening Room AN EVENING YOU’LL FORGET FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE: STEVE MARTIN, MARTIN SHORT, THE STEEP CANYON RANGERS, JEFF BABKO March 9, Times-Union Center BIANCA DEL RIO March 10, PVC Hall VELVET CARAVAN March 10, Ritz Theatre SIDELINE March 10, Mudville Music Room KOLARS, ESCONDIDO March 10, Jack Rabbits BILLY BUCHANAN March 10, Blue Jay Listening Room EARTH, WIND & FIRE March 10, Florida Theatre BRAD PAISLEY, CHASE BRYANT March 10, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MOTOWN THE MUSICAL March 10 & 11, T-U Center RAISING CADENCE March 11, Jack Rabbits INDIGO GIRLS March 11, PVC Hall THE TENDERLOINS March 11, St. Augustine Amphitheatre THE IRISH ROVERS March 11, Florida Theatre THE MARVIN GAYE EXPERIENCE March 11, Thrasher-Horne Center KEITH HARKIN March 11, Blue Jay Listening Room RIVER CITY RHYTHM KINGS March 12, Mudville Music Room BAY KINGS BAND March 12, Blue Jay Listening Room ROBIN TROWER March 13, PVC Hall THE DRUGSTORE GYPSIES March 13, Jack Rabbits ANITA BAKER March 14, Times-Union Center LARRY MANGUM March 15, Mudville Music Room AMPLE ANGST, DAVE EGGAR March 15, Blue Jay Listening Room JOE JENCKS March 16, Mudville Music Room STEVE HOFSTETTER March 16, Jack Rabbits HOTEL EXPERIENCE: A SALUTE TO THE EAGLES March 16, Thrasher-Horne Center NAHKO, THE LATE ONES, XIUHTEZCATL March 16, PVC Hall MIKE LOVE, JUNGLE MAN SAM March 16, 1904 Music Hall GET THE LED OUT March 16, Florida Theatre FOREIGNER, DAVE EGGAR March 16, St. Augustine Amphitheatre

1964 THE TRIBUTE March 17, St. Augustine Amphitheatre WALKER BROTHERS, OLD DAWGS NEW TRIXX March 17, Mudville Music Room RANDALL BRAMBLETT March 17, Blue Jay Listening Room FLIPTURN, GLASS HOUSE POINT, ASTER & IVY, SOUTH POINT March 17, Jack Rabbits TIFFANY March 17, PVC Hall ALICE COOPER March 18, Florida Theatre A DAY TO REMEMBER, PAPA ROACH, FALLING IN REVERSE, THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA March 20, St. Augustine Amphitheatre VINYL THEATRE, VESPERTEEN March 20, Jack Rabbits SANIELLE MOHR March 21, Blue Jay Listening Room MIKE & the MECHANICS March 21, PVC Hall WALTER SALAS-HUMARA March 21, Mudville Music Room LUKE PEACOCK March 22, Mudville Music Room PAUL MILLER, STAN PIPER, STEFAN KLEIN March 22, Blue Jay Listening Room STEEP CANYON RANGERS March 22, Florida Theatre RODNEY CARRINGTON March 23, Florida Theatre ROSE ROYCE, LENNY WILLIAMS, GLENN JONES, SHIRLEY MURDOCK, DENIECE WILLIAMS, REGINA BELLE March 24, T-U Center’s Moran Theater JUVENILE, TOO-SHORT, SCARFACE, TRINA, UNCLE LUKE, 8BALL, MIG March 24, Veterans Memorial Arena DWIGHT & NICOLE March 24, Blue Jay Listening Room THREE DOG NIGHT, THE LORDS OF 52ND STREET March 25, Florida Theatre WATAIN March 25, Mavericks Live FORTUNATE YOUTH, BALLYHOO, TATANKA March 28, Mavericks Live LOUDON WAINWRIGHT III, LUCY WAINWRIGHT ROCHE March 30, PVC Hall DANGERMUFFIN March 30, Mudville Music Room UDO DIRKSCHNEIDER March 30, Jack Rabbits MOON STALKER March 31, Mudville Music Room RYAN DEPALO, PETER MICHAEL, MARK O’QUINN March 31, Jack Rabbits LONELY HEARTSTRING BAND April 4, Café Eleven JUNCO ROYALS April 4, Blue Jay Listening Room BUDDY GUY, JIMMIE VAUGHAN, QUINN SULLIVAN April 5, Florida Theatre THE BAILSMEN April 5, Blue Jay Listening Room PRESSURE BUSS PIPE, BLACK DIAMOND BAND April 6, Mavericks HAWKTAIL April 6, Blue Jay Listening Room TOMMY EMMANUEL, ANTHONY SNAPE April 6 & 7, PVC Hall SETH WALKER April 7, Mudville Music Room THAT 1 GUY April 8, Jack Rabbits ALL TIME LOW, GNASH, DREAMERS April 10, Mavericks COREY KILGANNON, OH JEREMIAH April 12, Blue Jay Listening Room AMANDA SHIRES & HER BAND April 13, PVC Hall CHRIS BOTTI April 13, Florida Theatre PINEBOX DWELLERS April 13, Blue Jay Listening Room THE BLACK ANGELS, BLACK LIPS April 14, Backyard Stage, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JERSEY BOYS April 15, Thrasher-Horne Center DR. DOG, KYLE CRAFT, SON LITTLE, ALEX G April 15, PVC Hall ABBA the CONCERT April 17, Florida Theatre BRIAN CULBERTSON April 18, Florida Theatre BRUCE COCKBURN April 19, PVC Hall SCOTT BRADLEE’S POSTMODERN JUKEBOX April 19, Florida Theatre WANEE 2018: WIDESPREAD PANIC, PHIL LESH & THE TERRAPIN FAMILY BAND, AS THE CROW FLIES, DARK STAR ORCHESTRA, ST. PAUL & THE BROKEN BONES, JAIMOE’S JASSZ BAND, THE CHRIS ROBINSON BROTHERHOOD, NORTH MISSISSIPPI ALLSTARS, KARL DENSON’S TINY UNIVERSE, EAT A BUNCH OF PEACHES, PIGEONS PLAYING PING PONG, UTT, SSONNY SOONNNY LANDRETH, LANDRET LAND RETHH, THE MA MARCU RCUSS KING KING BBA AND ND, WALTER TROUT, MARCUS BAND,

BOOM FOR REAL: Musicians Wil B. and Kev Marcus combine classical training with hip hop influences; the result is a sound they call “classical boom.” Hear it 7 p.m. Jan. 27, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall.

26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 24-30, 2018

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC GEORGE PORTER JR. & THE RUNNING PARDNERS, SOUL REBELS, LES BROS, PINK TALKING FISH, BOBBY LEE ROGERS TRIO, BIG SOMETHING, NEW ORLEANS SUSPECTS, BERRY OAKLEY’S INDIGENOUS SUSPECTS, MIDNIGHT NORTH, THE YETI TRIO, CRAZY FINGERS April 19, 20 & 21, Suwannee Music Park, Live Oak THOMAS RHETT, BRETT YOUNG, CARLY PEARCE April 20, Daily’s Place ABRAHAM PARTRIDGE April 21, Blue Jay Listening Room OLD 97’s April 22, PVC Hall DAVID FOSTER April 24, Florida Theatre 10,000 MANIACS April 25, PVC Hall JOHNNY MATHIS April 26, Florida Theatre WELCOME TO ROCKVILLE: OZZY OSBOURNE, FOO FIGHTERS, AVENGED SEVENFOLD, QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE, BILLY IDOL, FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH, GODSMACK, STONE SOUR, BLACK VEIL BRIDES, AVATAR, MORE April 27, 28 & 29, Metro Park BLACK JACKET SYMPHONY, JACKSONVILLE ROCK SYMPHONY: SGT. PEPPER’S 50TH ANNIVERSARY TOUR April 27, Florida Theatre ALAN PARSONS PROJECT, CARL PALMER April 28, Florida Theatre LITTLE BIG TOWN, KACEY MUSGRAVES, MIDLAND May 4, St. Augustine Amphitheatre HERB ALPERT, LANI HALL May 4, Florida Theatre The NATIONAL, BIG THIEF May 5, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JAMES TAYLOR & HIS ALL-STAR BAND, BONNIE RAITT & HER BAND May 8, Veterans Memorial Arena STEELY DAN, The DOOBIE BROTHERS May 13, Daily’s Place TEDESCHI TRUCKS BAND, DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS, MARCUS

LIVE MUSIC CLUBS AMELIA ISLAND + FERNANDINA

KNUCKLEHEADS Bar, 850532 U.S. 17, 222-2380 Skytrain 9 p.m. Jan. 27 PALACE SALOON, 117 Centre. St., 491-3332 Chilly Rhino 9:30 p.m. Jan. 28 SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652 King Eddie & the Pili Pili Band 6 p.m. Jan. 24. Tad Jennings Jan. 25. Dan Voll 2 p.m. Jan. 26. Mark O’Quinn 6 p.m. Jan. 30 SURF RESTAURANT, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Katfish Lee Jan. 24 & 25

AVONDALE + ORTEGA

CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. Jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free Tue. & Thur. Indie dance Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance Fri. MONTY’S/SHORES LIQUOR, 3644 St. Johns Ave., 389-1131 Custard Pie Feb. 9

THE BEACHES

(ALL VENUES IN JAX BEACH UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED) ATLANTIC BEACH BREWING CO., 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 3 & 15, Atlantic Beach, 372-4116 Adam Latiff 8 p.m. Jan. 27 BLUE JAY LISTENING ROOM, 412 N. Second St., 834-1315 West Brook & Friends Jan. 24 & 31. The Bird Tribe Jan. 26. Allman Goldflies Band Jan. 27. Ben Sparaco & the New Effect 7 p.m. Jan. 28. Chris Undersal & Chelsey Michelle Jan. 30 CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 249-9595 Heather Wed. DJ Seven Thur. & Fri. Michael Funge Sun. FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & TEQUILA BAR, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680 5 O’Clock Shadow 10 p.m. Jan. 26 & 27 GREEN ROOM BREWING, 228 Third St. N., 201-9283 The Firewater Tent Revival 6 p.m. Jan. 28, Friends of Jacksonville Animals fundraiser GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925 Groov 7:30 p.m. Wed. Michael Smith Thur. Milton Clapp Fri. Under the Bus Sat. Robert Eccles Sun. HARBOR TAVERN, 160 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, 246-2555 Joe Buck Yourself 8 p.m. Jan. 25. When Particles Collide Jan. 26 LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 First St. N., 249-5181 Olympus 10 p.m. Jan. 26. Uncommon Legends 10 p.m. Jan. 27. MEZZA RESTAURANT & BAR, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573 Gypsies Ginger Wed. Mike Shackelford, Steve Shanholtzer Thur. Mezza Shuffle Mon. Trevor Tanner Tue. RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877 Rebecca Day Jan. 24. Decoy Jan. 25. Cloud 9 Jan. 26 & 27. William Goin Jan. 31. SURFER The BAR, 200 First St. N., 372-9756 Soulo Lyon 9:30 p.m. Jan. 24. NewRock Soul Jan. 26. Chillula Jan. 27. Robbie Litt Jan. 30. Tad Jennings Jan. 31. WHISKEY JAX, 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy., 853-5973 Party Cartel 8:30 p.m. Jan. 26. Good Time Charlie 8:30 p.m. Jan. 27. Chris Thomas Band Feb. 1

CAMDEN COUNTY, GA.

CAPTAIN STAN’S SMOKEHOUSE, 700 Bedell Dr., Woodbine, 912-729-9552 Touch of Grey 6:30 p.m. Jan. 26.

DOWNTOWN

1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N., 345-5760 Felly, Gyyps, Trip Carter 8 p.m. Jan. 25. Sgt. Bear, Runners High, The States. Jan. 26. Rotten Mangos, Fernway, Billy & Bella Jan. 28. DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 DJ Brandon Thur. DJ NickFresh Sat. DJ Randall Mon. DJ Hollywood Tue. INTUITION ALE WORKS, 929 E. Bay St., 683-7720 Futurebirds, Neighbor Lady Jan. 26 JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 353-1188 Boogie Freaks 7 p.m. Jan. 26. Highway Jones 7 p.m. Jan. 27. Stevie Fingers 4 p.m. Jan. 28 MAVERICKS LIVE, Jax Landing, 356-1110 JB Crockett 8 p.m. Jan. 26. Joe Buck, DJ Justin Thur.-Sat.

MYTH NIGHTCLUB, 333 E. Bay St., 707-0474 DJ Lilyyankee, D. Devill Jan. 24. Benzi, DJ Q45, Artik, Sorce, Sub-Lo, Aurakull Jan. 26 VOLSTEAD, 115 W. Adams, 414-3171 John Lumpkin 9 p.m. Jan. 26

OVERSET

FLEMING ISLAND

BOONDOCKS, 2808 Henley Rd., Green Cove, 406-9497 Ivan Pulley 6 p.m. Jan. 25. Southpaw, Jonathan Lee Jan. 26. Christina Carter, Eric Collette Jan. 27. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Love Monkey 9 p.m. Jan. 26 & 27

INTRACOASTAL

CLIFF’S, 3033 Monument Rd., Ste. 2, 645-5162 Kelly & Ken 4:30 p.m. Jan. 24. Ozone Baby 9 p.m. Jan. 26 & 27 JERRY’S, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766 Retro Kats 8:30 p.m. Jan. 26. Rick Arcusa Jan. 27

MANDARIN

ENZA’S, 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 109, 268-4458 Brian Iannucci Jan. 24 & 28 TAPS BAR & GRILL, 2220 C.R. 210, St. Johns, 819-1554 Stu Weaver 8 p.m. Jan. 24. Red Level Jan. 26. Chuck Nash Jan. 27

ORANGE PARK + MIDDLEBURG

CHEERS PARK AVENUE, 1138 Park Ave., 269-4855 DJ Capone 9:30 p.m. Jan. 24. The Firewater Tent Revival 9:30 p.m. Jan. 25. Zeb Padgett, Julia Gulia Jan. 26. DEE’S MUSIC BAR, 2141 Loch Rane Blvd., Ste. 140, 375-2240 Big Engine 9 p.m. Jan. 26. Fratello 9 p.m. Jan. 27. DJ Troy Wed. The HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael on the piano every Tue.-Sat. The ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 DJs Jamie & Big Mike every Thur.

PONTE VEDRA

PUSSER’S GRILLE, 816 A1A, 280-7766 Savanna Leigh Bassett 6 p.m. Jan. 24. Billy Buchanan 6 p.m. Jan. 25 TABLE 1, 330 A1A, 280-5515 Billy Bowers 6 p.m. Jan. 31

RIVERSIDE + WESTSIDE

ACROSS The STREET, 948 Edgewood Ave. S., 683-4182 Bill Ricci 8 p.m. Jan. 25 MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave., 388-7807 Kaliyl, Burden Affinity, Audiohive Jan. 26. Nineteen Hundred Jan. 28 NIGHTHAWKS, 2952 Roosevelt Blvd. Black Calla Jan. 26. Cardinal Slinky, Ruffians Jan. 27. World Inferno Friendship Society, Community Center, Tail Light Rebellion, Mudtown 8 p.m. Jan. 28 RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969 Natalie Claro Jan. 25

ST. AUGUSTINE

ARNOLD’S LOUNGE, 3912 N. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 824-8738 Lisa’s Mad Hatters 9 p.m. Jan. 27. Blistur Jan. 28. CAFE ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311 Salt & Pine Album Release Show 8:30 p.m. Jan. 26 CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 Stephen Pigman Jan. 25. Hit Parade Jan. 26. Vinny Jacobs 2 p.m. Jan. 28 MARDI GRAS, 123 San Marco Ave., 823-8806 Monkey Wrench 9 p.m. Jan. 26. Vegas Grey Jan. 27 PROHIBITION KITCHEN, 119 St. George St., 209-5704 Blues Dudes, LPIII Jan. 24. Ramona Jan. 25. Radio Love, Chillula Jan. 26. Bryan Hayes, Ramona Jan. 27. Katy Schirad Jan. 29. WillowWacks Jan. 30. Leelyn Osborn, Cookin in da Kitchen 6 p.m. Jan. 31 SHANGHAI NOBBY’S, 10 Anastasia Blvd., 547-2188 Young Ghosts, Personalities, Engraved 7 p.m. Jan. 26 TEMPO, 16 Cathedral Pl., 342-0286 Jay Bird 7 p.m. Jan. 25. Jax English Salsa Band 6 p.m. Jan. 28

SAN MARCO

JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Dorothy, Lovesick Radio 8 p.m. Jan. 25. No Means Yes, Danny Attack Jan. 26. Ces Cru, The Palmer Square, Gpo Jan. 27. Haunted Summer, Gov Club Jan. 30. Zolopht, Fourbarrel Band, John Parker Urban Trio Jan. 31 The LOCAL, 4578 San Jose Blvd., 683-8063 John Lumpkin 8 p.m. Jan. 25 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Luke Peacock Jan. 24. Jacob Johnson, Arvid Smith Jan. 25. Velon Thompson Jan. 30. RIVER CITY BREWING COMPANY, 835 Museum Cir., 398-2299 Billy Buchanan Jan. 26

SOUTHSIDE, ARLINGTON & BAYMEADOWS

BAHAMA BREEZE, 10205 River Coast Dr., 646-1031 King Eddie & the Pili Pili Band 6 p.m. Thur. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955 Anton LaPlume Jan. 25. Ryan Crary Jan. 26 WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., 634-7208 Take Cover 8:30 p.m. Jan. 26. Ain’t Too Proud to Beg 8:30 p.m. Jan. 27.

SPRINGFIELD + NORTHSIDE

HYPERION BREWING CO., 1740 N. Main St., 518-5131 Open mic 6:30 p.m. Jan. 25. Beau Knott & the Burners 6 p.m. Jan. 27. Live music most weekends & 2:30 p.m. every Sun.

______________________________________ To list your band’s gig, please send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price, and a contact number to print to Madeleine Peck Wagner, email madeleine@folioweekly.com or by the U.S. Postal Service, 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Events run on a space-available basis. Deadline is at noon every Wednesday for the next Wednesday’s publication.

JANUARY 24-30, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27

FOLIO DINING Unique pizzas and a lively atmosphere make MELLOW MUSHROOM in Jax Beach a popular place to grab a bite with friends. photo by Madison Gross

AMELIA ISLAND + FERNANDINA BEACH

BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. On the water at Centre Street’s end. Southern hospitality, upscale atmosphere; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo.com. F Family-owned café in historic building. Worldly fare, made-from-scratch dressings, sauces, desserts, sourcing fresh veggies, seafood. Dine in or al fresco under oakshaded patio. Microbrew Karibrew Pub brews beer onsite; imports. $$ FB K TO R, Su; L Daily, D Tu-Su in season THE CRAB TRAP, 31 N. Second St., 261-4749, ameliacrabtrap.com. F For nearly 40 years, family-ownedand-operated. Fresh local seafood, steaks, specials. HH. $$ FB L Sa-M; D Nightly JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddianescafe.com. Renovated 1887 shotgun house. Faves: jambalaya, French toast, pancakes, mac & cheese, crêpes. Vegan items. Inside or porch overlooking historic area. $$ BW K TO B L D M, W, F, Sa; B L Su LA MANCHA, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646, lamancharestaurante.com. Spanish, Portuguese fare, Brazilian flair. Tapas, seafood, steaks, sangria. Drink specials. AYCE paella Sun. $$$ FB K TO D Nightly LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 474272 S.R. 200, 844-2225. F SEE ORANGE PARK. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moonriverpizza.net. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. Authentic Northern-style pizzas, 20-plus toppings, pie/slice. Calzones. $ BW TO L D M-Sa THE MUSTARD SEED CAFÉ, 833 Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassauhealthfoods.net. Casual organic eatery, juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juices, herbal teas, coffees, daily specials. $$ K TO B L M-Sa

DINING DIRECTORY KEY AVERAGE ENTRÉE COST $ $$

< $10

$$$

10- $20

$$$$

20-$35 > $35

ABBREVIATIONS & SPECIAL NOTES BW = Beer/Wine

L = Lunch

FB = Full Bar

D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted Free Folio Weekly Bite Club Event F = Folio Weekly Distribution Spot

K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch

To list your restaurant, call your account manager or call or text SAM TAYLOR, Folio Weekly publisher, at 904-860-2465 (email: staylor@folioweekly.com). 28 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 24-30, 2018

POINTE RESTAURANT, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabethpointelodge.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. In award-winning inn Elizabeth Pointe Lodge. Seaside dining; in or out. Hot buffet breakfast daily, full lunch menu. Homestyle soups, specialty sandwiches, desserts. $$$ BW K B L D Daily THE SALTY PELICAN BAR & GRILL, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. 2nd-story outdoor bar. T.J. & Al offer local seafood, fish tacos, Mayport shrimp, po’boys, cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. Oceanfront. Award-winning handmade crabcakes, fried pickles, fresh seafood. Open-air 2nd floor balcony, playground. $$ FB K L D Daily T-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. Eighth St., 261-6310, traysburgerstation.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/ favorite. Family-owned-and-operated 18+ years. Blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L M-Sa

ARLINGTON + REGENCY

LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1301 Monument Rd., Ste. 5, 724-5802. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE ORANGE PARK.

AVONDALE + ORTEGA

FOOD ADDICTZ GRILL, 1044 Edgewood Ave. S., 240-1987. F Family-and-veteran-owned place is all about home cooking. Customer faves: barbecued pulled pork, blackened chicken, Caesar wrap and Portobello mushroom burger. $ K TO B L D Tu-Su HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, harpoonlouies.net. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. Locally owned & operated 20+ years. American pub. 1/2-lb. burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta. Local beers, HH. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MOJO NO. 4 URBAN BBQ & WHISKEY BAR, 3572 St. Johns Ave., Ste. 1, 381-6670, mojobbq.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/ favorite. Pulled pork and Carolina-style barbecue. Delta fried catfish. Avondale’s Mojo has shrimp & grits, specialty cocktails. Local musicians on weekends. $$ FB K TO L D Daily PINEGROVE MARKET & DELI, 1511 PineGrove Ave., 389-8655, pinegrovemarket.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. 40+ years. Burgers, Cubans, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher, USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. Fri. & Sat. fish fry. $ BW TO B L D M-Sa RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaurantorsay.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. French/Southern bistro; local organic ingredients. Steak frites, mussels, pork chops. $$$ FB R, Su; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simplysaras.net. F Down-home fare from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Tu-Sa, B Sa SOUTH KITCHEN & SPIRITS, 3638 Park St., 475-2362, south.kitchen. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. Southern classics: crispy catfish with smoked gouda grits, family-style fried chicken, burgers, vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free options. $$ FB K TO L D Daily

BAYMEADOWS

AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE INTRACOASTAL. INDIA’S, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajaxcom. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. Authentic cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetables, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L M-Sa; D Nightly

DINING DIRECTORY LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., 425-9142. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE SAN MARCO. NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 11030 Baymeadows Rd., 260-2791. 2017 Best of Jax favorite. SEE MANDARIN. PATTAYA THAI GRILLE, 9551 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1, 646-9506, ptgrille.com. F 2017 Best of Jax favorite. Since 1989, the family-owned place has offered an extensive menu of traditional Thai, vegetarian, new-Thai; curries, seafood, noodles, soups. Low-sodium & gluten-free. $$$ BW TO L D Tu-Sa THE WELL WATERING HOLE, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9, 737-7740, thewellwateringhole.com. Local craft beers, glass/bottle wines. Meatloaf sandwich, pulled Peruvian chicken, vegan black bean burgers. Gluten-free pizzas, desserts. HH specials. $$ BW K TO L M-F; D Tu-Sa WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 135, 634-7208, whiskeyjax.com. F 2017 Best of Jax favorite. Popular gastropub has craft beers, gourmet burgers, handhelds, signature plates, tacos and–sure–whiskey. HH M-F. $$ FB B Sa & Su; L F; D Nightly

BEACHES

(Venues are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

ANGIE’S SUBS, 1436 Beach Blvd., 246-2519. ANGIE’S GROM SUBS, 204 Third Ave. S., 241-3663. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Fresh ingredients, 25+ years. Huge salads, blue-ribbon iced tea. Grom has Sun. brunch, no alcohol. $ K BW TO L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 2400 S. Third St., Ste. 201, 374-5735. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. BREEZY COFFEE SHOP WINE BAR, 235 Eighth Ave. S., 241-2211, breezycoffeeshopcafe.com. Local beachy coffee & wine shop by day; wine bar by night. Fresh baked pastries, breakfast sandwiches all day. Grab-n-Go salads, cheeses, hummus. $ BW K TO B L D Daily The CRAFT PIZZA CO., 240 Third St. N., Neptune Beach, 853-6773, thecraftpizzaco.com. F Al Mansur’s new place has innovative pies made with locally sourced ingredients. Dine inside or out. $$ BW L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001, europeanstreet.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE RIVERSIDE.

OUTERBANKS SPORTS BAR & GRILLE, 140 The Lakes Blvd., Ste. H, Kingsland, 912-729-5499. Fresh seafood, burgers, steaks, wings. $$ FB TO D Nightly

DOWNTOWN

BELLWETHER, 100 N. Laura St., 802-7745, bellwetherjax.com. Elevated Southern classics in an understated setting, with chef/owner Jon Insetta’s focus on flavors, and chef Kerri Rogers’ culinary creativity. The Northeast Florida menu changes seasonally. Rotating local craft beers, regional spirits, cold brew coffee program. $$ FB TO L M-F CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth, 356-8282, casadoraitalian.com. F Serving Italian fare, 40+ years: veal, seafood, pizza. Homemade salad dressing. $ BW K L M-F; D M-Sa OLIO MARKET, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com. F Scratch soups, sandwiches. Duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L M-F; D F & Sa SPLIFF’S GASTROPUB, 15 N. Ocean St., 844-5000, spliffsgastropub.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. Music venue has munchie apps, mac & cheese dishes, pockets, gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches. HH M-F. $ BW L D M-Sa URBAN GRIND COFFEE COMPANY, 45 W. Bay, Ste. 102, 516-7799, urbangrind.coffee. F 2017 Best of Jax favorite. Locally roasted whole bean brewed coffees, espressos, pastries, smoothies, bagels. Chicken/tuna salad, sandwiches. WiFi. $ B L M-F URBAN GRIND EXPRESS, 50 W. Laura St., 516-7799. F 2017 Best of Jax favorite. SEE ABOVE. ZODIAC BAR & GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283, thezodiacbarandgrill.com. 16+ years. Mediterranean cuisine, American fare, paninis, vegetarian dishes. Lunch buffet. Espressos, hookahs. HH M-F. $ FB L M-F; D W-Sa

FLEMING ISLAND

GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 1915 East-West Pkwy., 541-0009. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE RIVERSIDE. MOJO SMOKEHOUSE, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE AVONDALE. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteysfishcamp.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. Real fish camp. Gator tail, freshwater catfish, daily specials, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar. Come by boat, bike or car. $ FB K TO L Tu-Su; D Nightly

CARLTON MADDOX

BIG SHOTS!

Crispy's Springfield Gallery 1735 N. Main St. • Springfield

Born in: Jacksonville Years in Biz: 12 Favorite Bar: Sherwood's Bar (San Marco) Favorite Cocktail Style: Horse and buggy Go-To Ingredients: Light beer, whiskey neat Hangover Cure: Drink water, then crack another beer Will Not Cross My Lips: Fernet Insider’s Secret: Try substituting Vermouth in your martini with Sprite. Celebrity Sighting At Your Bar: Uhh... Does Eddie Farrah count? When You Say "The Usual": A PBR and a shot of Old Forester

FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & TEQUILA BAR, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680, flyingiguana.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Latin American: tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana fare. 100+ tequilas. $ FB TO L D Daily GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925, gustojax.com. F Classic Old World Roman fare, big Italian menu: homestyle pasta, beef, chicken, fish delicacies; open pizza-tossing kitchen. Reservations encouraged. $$ FB TO L R D Tu-Su HAWKERS ASIAN STREET FARE, 241 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 425-1025. 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE RIVERSIDE. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 657 Third St. N., 247-9620. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 1534 3rd St. N., 853-6817. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT & BLUES BAR, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636. 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE AVONDALE. M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-2599, shackburgers.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes. Dine indoors or out. $$ BW L D Daily NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 1585 N. Third St., 458-1390. 2017 Best of Jax favorite. SEE MANDARIN. RAGTIME TAVERN SEAFOOD & GRILL, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F 34 years and counting, the iconic seafood place serves blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily HH, brunch Sun. $$ FB L D Daily WHISKEY JAX, 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy., 853-5973. F 2017 Best of Jax favorite. SEE BAYMEADOWS.

CAMDEN COUNTY, GEORGIA

CAPTAIN STAN’S SMOKEHOUSE, 700 Bedell Dr., Woodbine, 912-729-9552. Barbecue, sides, hot dogs, burgers, desserts. Dine in or out on picnic tables. $$ FB K TO L & D Tu-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 6586 GA. Hwy. 40 B6, St. Marys, 912-576-7006. F 2017 Best of Jax favorite. SEE ORANGE PARK.

INTRACOASTAL WEST

AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. 30 years of awesome gourmet pizza, baked dishes. All day HH M-Th. $ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980. F Best of Jax favorite. SEE ORANGE PARK.

MANDARIN + NW ST. JOHNS

AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE INTRACOASTAL. ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199, athenscafejax.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. 20+ years of Greek fare, serving dolmades (stuffed grape leaves), baby shoes (stuffed eggplant), Greek beers. Vegetarian-friendly. Full bar. Early bird menu Mon.-Fri. $$ FB L M-F; D M-Sa FIRST COAST DELI & GRILL, 6082 St. Augustine Rd., 733-7477. Pancakes, bacon, sandwiches, burgers, wings. $ K TO B L Daily JAX DINER, 5065 St. Augustine Rd., 739-7070, jaxdiner.com. Simple name, simple concept: Local. Chef Roderick “Pete” Smith, a local culinary expert with nearly 20 years under his apron, uses locally sourced ingredients from area farmers, vendors and the community for American and Southern dishes. Seasonal brunch. $ K TO B L M-F, D F METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. Dinner. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO BAR-B-QUE, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200, mojobbq.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE AVONDALE. NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. 2017 Best of Jax favorite. Organic soups, baked items, sandwiches, prepared foods. Juice, smoothie, coffee bar. All-natural beer/wine. $ BW TO K B L D Daily

JANUARY 24-30, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 29

DINING DIRECTORY BITE-SIZED S

From the high energy of the dance floor to the cool down with great craft cocktails, MYTH NIGHTCLUB infuses the Downtown scene with fun.

Japanese ramen and fried chicken make an ODDLY DELECTABLE couple

A LITTLE SLURP,

A LITTLE CRUNCH

AUTHENTICITY CAN BE HARD TO FI FIND IND W WHEN HEN IT HE comes to homestyle favorites. Everyone wants to riff on mac and cheese or deconstruct an apple pie. While you can get some interesting stuff out of those inventive dishes, sometimes you just want the real thing. The Hangar Bay Café & Gallery on Mayport Road feeds your craving for the real deal twice over by giving you two dishes that satisfy: Japanese Ramen and Southern Fried Chicken. Before I lose you to fantasies of that menu one-two punch, let me tell you that the fried chicken is crisp and moist and the ramen includes a fish cake, seasoned halved egg with a perfect yolk and al dente ramen noodles. It’s no secret that a menu trying to do too much usually suffers for it. However, I won’t put anyone down who’s able to do two things at once this well. Multitaskers for the win! You can choose between the two or just go straight for the kill and order the ramen combo. For $13, you get a hearty bowl of Tonkotsu and two pieces of fried chicken. Choose your path, white or dark. You can’t go wrong, but I was dining with my resident fried chicken expert who said that dark meat was a must. Pick up your drumstick and ogle those golden ruffles, sink your teeth into tender flesh with a crisp bite from the fry. There’s no extra oil here, just perfect chicken. On the spectrum of moist to dry, the fried chicken is

THE HANGAR BAY CAFÉ AND GALLERY 2294 Mayport Rd., Ste. 22, Atlantic Beach, 247-3301, hangarbaycafe.com

squarely opposite of the dry humor of the owner of Hangar Bay, Chris Straw. The military man spent time in Japan, giving him a great love for ramen, and I’m glad he’s sharing the romance with Northeast Florida. Tonkotsu (not to be confused with Tonkatsu, Japanese fried pork cutlet) is a traditional style ramen with a hearty pork broth almost milky in color. That color, and slightly thicker broth texture, is from pork bone marrow and provides rich broth. The soup is so slurptastic, you’re going to need lots of napkins, basically the greatest compliment ever. The noodles are nothing like those crinkly 10-cent/pack things from college days, and the al dente texture can’t be beat. If fried chicken or ramen aren’t your thing, try one of their overstuffed sandwiches ($8-$12) or sample appetizers like the Chicken Gyoza (5/$6.50, 10/$12, and 20/$22), which taste more like a Totino’s Pizza Roll than a traditional steamed or fried gyoza. This might be due to the flaky puff pastry that encases the fried package. Each bite features slightly sweet ground chicken that really does somehow manage to give off the flair and flavor of a good old-fashioned pizza roll. There’s a wide menu to choose from at Hangar Bay, so keep an open mind. Assuming the quality at Hangar Bay is the same at its sister restaurant, Simply Tasty Thai, I’m putting both on my growing list of spots to eat.

Brentley Stead biteclub@folioweekly.com

30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 24-30, 2018

photo by Madison Gross

A LITTLE

A LITTLE CRUNCH

CRUNCH

SLURP, SLURP, A LITTLE

ORANGE PARK

THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959, hilltop-club.com. Southern fine dining. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. Extensive bourbon selection. $$$ FB D Tu-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 165, 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 15, 272-3553. 5733 Roosevelt Blvd., 446-9500. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove, 284-7789, larryssubs.com. F 2017 Best of Jax favorite. Larry’s piles ’em high, serves ’em fast; 36+ years. Hot & cold subs, soups. Some Larry’s serve breakfast. $ K TO B L D Daily METRO DINER, 2034 Kingsley Ave., 375-8548. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. Dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. The ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611, roadhouseonline.net. F 2017 Best of Jax favorite. Sandwiches, wings, burgers, quesadillas for 35+ years. 75+ imported beers. Live music. $ FB L D Daily SPRING PARK COFFEE, 328 Ferris St., Green Cove Springs, 531-9391, springparkcoffee.com. F Cozy shop; freshroasted Brass Tacks coffee, handcrafted hot & cold drinks, specialty lattes, cappuccino, macchiato, teas, pastries, sandwiches, breakfast. $ B L D Daily

PONTE VEDRA BEACH

AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A, 543-1494. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE INTRACOASTAL. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 830 A1A N., Ste. 6, 273-3993. F 2017 Best of Jax favorite. SEE ORANGE PARK. M SHACK NOCATEE, 641 Crosswater Pkwy., 395-3575. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE BEACHES. METRO DINER, 340 Front St., Ste. 700, 513-8422. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE SAN MARCO.

RIVERSIDE, 5 PTS + WESTSIDE

13 GYPSIES, 887 Stockton St., 389-0330, 13gypsies.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Authentic Mediterranean cuisine: chorizo, tapas, blackened cod, pork skewers, coconut mango curry chicken. Breads from scratch. $$ BW L D Tu-Sa, R Sa AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., Ste. 201, 388-8384. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE INTRACOASTAL. BIG OAK BBQ & CATERING, 1948 Henley Rd., Middleburg, 214-3041. 1440 Dunn Ave., 757-2225, bigoakbbqfl.com. Family-owned-and-operated barbecue joints have smoked chicken, pulled pork, ribs, sides and stumps, which sounds damn good. $$ K TO L D M-Sa BLACK SHEEP, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, blacksheep5points.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. New American, Southern; local source ingredients. Specials, rooftop bar. HH. $$$ FB R Sa & Su; L M-F; D Nightly BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 869 Stockton St., Ste. 1, 855-1181, boldbeancoffee.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Small-batch, artisanal approach to sourcing and roasting single-origin, direct-trade coffees. Signature blends, handcrafted syrups, espressos, craft beers. $ BW TO B L Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412, cornertaco.com. Made-from-scratch “Mexclectic street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free, vegetarian options. $ BW L D Tu-Su CUMMER CAFÉ, Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummer.org. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Light lunch, quick bites, locally roasted coffee, espresso-based drinks, sandwiches, desserts, daily specials. Dine in or in gardens. $ BW K L D Tu; L W-Su EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 2753 Park St., 384-9999. 2017 Best of Jax winner. 130+ import beers, 20 on tap. Sandwiches. Dine outside at some E-Sts. $ BW K L D Daily

GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Juice bar uses certified organic fruits, veggies. Artisanal cheeses, 300 craft, import beers, 50 organic wines, produce, meats, vitamins, herbs, wraps, sides, sandwiches. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS ASIAN STREET FARE, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Authentic dishes from mobile stalls: BBQ pork char sui, beef haw fun, Hawkers baos, chow faan, grilled Hawker skewers. $ BW TO L D Daily IL DESCO, 2665 Park St., 290-6711, ildescojax.com. Authentic Italian cuisine; wood-fired pizzas, pasta, baked Italian dishes, raw bar, spaghetti tacos. Daily HH. $$-$$$ FB K TO L D Daily JOHNNY’S DELI & GRILLE, 474 Riverside Ave., 356-8055. Casual spot offers made-to-order sandwiches, wraps. $ TO B L M-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1509 Margaret St., 674-2794. 7895 Normandy Blvd., 781-7600. 8102 Blanding Blvd., 779-1933. F 2017 Best of Jax favorite. SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., 999-4600. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE SAN MARCO. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. M SHACK, 1012 Margaret St., 423-1283. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE BEACHES. SOUTHERN ROOTS FILLING STATION, 1275 King St., 513-4726, southernrootsjax.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Fresh vegan fare; local, organic ingredients. Specials, on bread, local greens/rice, change daily. Sandwiches, coffees, teas. $ Tu-Su SUN-RAY CINEMA, 1028 Park St., 359-0047, sunraycinema.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. First-run, indie and art films screened. Beer, local drafts, wine, pizza–Godbold, Black Lagoon Supreme–hot dogs, hummus, sandwiches, popcorn, nachos, brownies. $$ BW Daily SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside Ave., Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushicafejax.com. F Monster, Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll. Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. Inside/patio. $$ BW L D Daily

ST. AUGUSTINE

AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE INTRACOASTAL. The CORAZON CINEMA & CAFE, 36 Granada St., 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com. F Sandwiches, combos, salads and pizza are served at the cinema house, showing indie and first-run movies. $$ Daily CRUISERS GRILL, 3 St. George St., 824-6993. SEE BEACHES. THE FLORIDIAN, 72 Spanish St., 829-0655, thefloridianstaug.com. Updated Southern fare; fresh, local ingredients. Vegetarian, gluten-free options. Signature fried green tomato bruschetta, blackened fish cornbread stack; grits w/shrimp/fish/tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D W-M GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F 34+ years. Varied urban cuisine menu changes twice daily. Signature: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. $$ FB R Su; L D Daily MARDI GRAS SPORTS BAR, 123 San Marco Ave., 347-3288, mardibar.com. F Lively spot has wings, nachos, shrimp, chicken, Phillys, sliders, soft pretzels. $$ FB TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 1000 S. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 758-3323. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. Dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO OLD CITY BBQ, 5 Cordova St., 342-5264, mojobbq. com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE AVONDALE. SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 321 A1A, 217-3256. F SEE BEACHES. WOODPECKER’S BACKYARD BBQ, 4930 S.R. 13, 531-5670, woodpeckersbbq.weebly.com. F Smoked fresh daily.

OVERSET

Brisket, ribs, pork, sausage, turkey: in sandwiches, plates by the pound. 8 sauces, 10 sides. $$ TO L D Tu-Su

SAN MARCO + SOUTHBANK

THE BEARDED PIG SOUTHERN BBQ & BEER GARDEN, 1224 Kings Ave., 619-2247, thebeardedpigbbq.com. F 2017 Best of Jax favorite. Barbecue joint Southern style: brisket, pork, chicken, sausage, beef; veggie platters. $$ BW K TO Daily BISTRO AIX, 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox.com. F Mediterranean/French inspired menu changes seasonally. 250+ wines. Wood-fired oven-baked, grilled specialties: pizza, pasta, risotto, steaks, seafood. Hand-crafted cocktails, specialty drinks. Dine outside. HH M-F. $$$ FB L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 1905 Hendricks Ave. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 398-9500. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusionsushijax.com. Upscale; fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, katsu, seafood. $$ K L D Daily HAVANA-JAX CAFÉ/CUBA LIBRE BAR, 2578 Atlantic Blvd., 399-0609, havanajax.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Bite Club certified. Cuban sandwiches are the real thing: big, thick, flattened. Traditional fare: black beans & rice, plantains, steaks, seafood, chicken & rice, roast pork. Spanish wine, drink specials, mojitos, Cuba libres. Nonstop HH. $ FB K L D Daily METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metrodinercom. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. Original upscale diner in a historic 1930s-era building. Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, soups. This one serves dinner nightly. $$ B R L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco Blvd., 398-3005, tavernasanmarco.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. Chef Sam Efron’s authentic Italian; tapas, wood-fired pizza. Seasonal local produce, meats. Craft beer (some local), award-winning wine. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily

SOUTHSIDE + TINSELTOWN

ALHAMBRA THEATRE & DINING, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Open 50 years. Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus. Reservations. $$ FB D Tu-Su EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. LARRY’S SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F 2017 Best of Jax favorite. SEE ORANGE PARK. MARIANAS GRINDS, 11380 Beach Blvd., Ste. 10, 206-612-6596. F Pacific Islander fare, chamorro culture. Soups, stews, fitada, beef oxtail, katden pika; empanadas, lumpia, chicken relaguen, BBQ-style ribs, chicken. $$ TO B L D Tu-Su M SHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE BEACHES.

SPRINGFIELD + NORTHSIDE

ANDY’S GRILL, 1810 W. Beaver St., 354-2821, jaxfarmersmarket.com. F 2017 Best of Jax favorite. Inside Jax Farmers Market. Local, regional, international produce. Breakfast, sandwiches. $ B L D M-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 12001 Lem Turner Rd., 764-9999. F 2017 Best of Jax favorite. SEE ORANGE PARK. UPTOWN KITCHEN & BAR, 1303 Main St. N., 355-0734, uptownmarketjax.com. F Bite Club certified. Fresh fare, innovative menus, farm-to-table selections, daily specials. $$ BW TO B L Daily

PINT-SIZED

Think pine trees, not BODILY FLUIDS

TASTES

A CAB

SMELLS IN THE ANNALS OF BEER, THERE ARE MANY styles that have been lost to the mysteries of time. One such style could easily be made from the Christmas trees that we discard this time of year. That style is the spruce beer. The style was common among ancient Viking civilizations, 18th-century British sailors and early American colonists. But, as a modern style, piney, resinous bevvies are less common, though the flavor is often associated with IPAs. “Ancient Scandinavians and their Viking descendants brewed beer from young shoots of Norway spruce, drinking the beer for strength in battle, for fertility and to prevent scurvy on long sea voyages,” according to the second edition of the Oxford Encyclopedia of Food and Drink in America. Further evidence of the use of spruce beer to help keep scurvy under control comes from Capt. James Cook’s 1784 A Voyage to the Pacific Ocean, “Two of our men were employed in brewing spruce beer; while others filled the water-casks, collected grass for the cattle and cut wood. … Such a regimen soon removed all seeds of the scurvy from our people. …” The piney, alcoholic beverage is full of vitamin C that cures scurvy, a common disease among poorly nourished sailors. But sailors were not the only imbibers of spruce beer. As early as 1500, during the reign of King Henry VII, the poem “Colyn Blowbolles Testament” mentions the brew among drinks served at the protagonist’s funeral: “Spruce beer, and the beer of Hambur [Hamburg]/Whiche makyth oft tymes men to stambur.” This beer is from Prussia and is an alteration of the German, Sprossen-bier, literally “sprout beer,” for green sprouts used in brewing. It is interesting to note

that Geoffrey Chaucer referred to Prussia as “Sprewse,” making spruce beer’s name to mean beer from Sprewse. Sprossen-bier was also called Danziger bier or Joppenbier in Germany. In 1588’s Neuwe Kreuterbuch (“New Book of Herbs”), German physician Jacob Theodor von Bergzabern, aka Tabernaemontanus, described its beautiful reddish-brown color and as being “thick like a syrup.” Another historic account of spruce beer comes from the Dutch explorer Willem Barentsz, who took a barrel of Danzig beer on his 1596 journey around Norway and Russia in search of the Northwest Passage. Unfortunately, they were stranded 900 miles from the North Pole and the cask froze. In the early 1700s, newspaper records began to appear of spruce beer being imported to England, along with advertisements for drinking establishments where it was served. The beer was often lauded for its healthful benefits and thus commanded a much higher price. In the 19th century, it came to be known as “black beer.” Black beer breweries popped up throughout Northern England, along with claims of the drink being a cure for colds and other ailments. In 1922, W Severn & Co of Derby said its Black Spruce Beer, “will keep indefinitely … fortifies the system against Chills, Colds and Weakness as nothing else can … invaluable for growing children.” Today, spruce beers tend to be associated with flavors found in IPAs. There are a few modern spruce beers, such as Alaskan Brewing Co.’s Winter Ale, Beau’s Brewing Company’s Spruce Moose pale ale, but the style has lost its popularity and soon may exist only in history.

OVERSET

Marc Wisdom marc@folioweekly.com

PINT-SIZED BREWERS’ COMMUNITY A1A ALE WORKS 1 King St., Ste. 101, St. Augustine

BOTTLENOSE BREWING 9700 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, Jacksonville

MAIN AND SIX BREWING COMPANY 1636 Main St. N., Jacksonville

AARDWOLF BREWING COMPANY 1461 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville

DOG ROSE BREWING CO. 77 Bridge St., St. Augustine

OLD COAST ALES 300 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine

ANCIENT CITY BREWING 3420 Agricultural Ctr. Dr., St. Augustine

ENGINE 15 BREWING CO. DOWNTOWN 633 Myrtle Ave. N., Jacksonville.

PINGLEHEAD BREWING COMPANY 12 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park

ANHEUSER-BUSCH 1100 Ellis Rd. N., Jacksonville

ENGINE 15 BREWING CO. 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217, Jax Beach

RAGTIME TAVERN SEAFOOD & GRILL 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach

ATLANTIC BEACH BREWING COMPANY 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 3, Atlantic Beach

GREEN ROOM BREWING, LLC 228 Third St. N., Jax Beach

RIVER CITY BREWING COMPANY 835 Museum Cir., Jacksonville

BOG BREWING COMPANY 218 W. King St., St. Augustine

HYPERION BREWING COMPANY 1740 Main St. N., Jacksonville

SOUTHERN SWELLS BREWING CO. 1312 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach

BOLD CITY BREWERY 2670 Rosselle St., Ste. 7, Jacksonville

INTUITION ALE WORKS 929 E. Bay St., Jacksonville

VETERANS UNITED CRAFT BREWERY 8999 Western Way, Ste. 104, Jacksonville

BOLD CITY DOWNTOWN 109 E. Bay St., Jacksonville

KARIBREW BREW PUB 27 N. Third St., Fernandina Beach

WICKED BARLEY BREWING COMPANY 4100 Baymeadows Rd., Jacksonville

JANUARY 24-30, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 31

CHEFFED-UP

FAJITA

911

A kitchen accident reminds Chef Bill of the FINER THINGS of life on Amelia Island EACH SATURDAY MORNING, AS I LEAD A GROUP of eager students toward the farmer’s market in downtown Fernandina Beach, I brag about the old-fashioned, small-town lifestyle of Amelia Island. As we stroll quiet streets, I describe town and island history and point out some of the many historic landmarks we encounter along the way. One of the most striking of these historic sites is the Nassau County courthouse. With its majestic clock tower, perfectly maintained brickwork and arched entranceway, the exterior of this beautiful structure (built in 1891) looks as if it were plucked from a Hollywood movie set. I tell students of the pristinely maintained woodwork in the main hallway as well as the courtrooms, but the one detail that gets my guests’ attention the most is my account of the DMV. It seems the one thing all Americans can relate to are the long lines, callous, detached clerks and general misery associated with a trip to the DMV. “But not here in Fernandina Beach!” I tell my shocked scholars. I continue, “At the DMV in this courthouse, there are more clerks than patrons, and they are extremely friendly, helpful and generally sympathetic to your needs.” Even bad experiences (like kitchen accidents) bring out the best of folks on our island (like my savior, Inga, who dropped everything to help me). Once I arrived at the island ER, I was thoroughly impressed by the fact that I was taken to a room within five minutes. Yes, inconceivable, I know, but true! I had a very nice nurse check out my wound after about five more minutes and the doctor stopped by after another 10. But even 10 minutes with nothing to do gives the mind time to wander, and since I was already really hungry, I thought of food, for a change. The way I saw it, there was no way my treatment would be complete for another hour or so and I probably wouldn’t be in any shape to cook dinner after the doctor finished stitching me up. How absolutely tragic … especially since I had a couple pounds of gorgeous skirt steak soaking in a

delicious fajita-style marinade in the fridge. Skirt steak is the perfect vehicle for TexMex spices, with its deep meaty flavor and fantastic, slightly chewy texture. When the steak is thinly and carefully sliced against the grain, it becomes just tender enough to be enjoyed in a warm corn tortilla. Yet the most crucial detail to an exceptional Cheffed-Up skirt steak fajita is to grill the luxurious beef over a mesquite fire. Unfortunately, with 11 fresh stitches in my shin, the skirt steak fajitas weren’t on the menu that night. Alas, my ‘New Year— More Food’ motto had to skip a day.

CHEF BILL’S FAJITA MARINADE Ingredients • 1 tsp. ground allspice • 1 tbsp. ground cumin • 2 tsp. ground coriander • 1 tsp. dried oregano • 1 tsp. ancho powder • 1 tbsp. chipotle powder • 1 tsp. coarse salt • 1 oz. Worcestershire sauce • 1/2 oz. red wine vinegar • 2 limes, zested and juiced • 2 oz. soy sauce • 3 oz. canola oil • 3 lbs. inside skirt steaks Directions 1. In a large bowl, mix all the 1. ingredients except the steak. 2. Place the steak in a large ziploc bag 1. and cover with the marinade. 3. Marinate overnight. Until we cook again,

Chef Bill Thompson cheffedup@folioweekly.com

___________________________________

Email Chef Bill Thompson, owner of Fernandina Beach’s Amelia Island Culinary Academy, at cheffedup@folioweekly.com, for inspiration and get Cheffed-Up!

CHEFFED-UP CHE CH EFFEDEFFE D-UP UP G GROCERS’ ROCE RO CERS RS’ S’ COMMUNITY COMM CO MMUN MM UNIT ITY Y

BUYGO

PUBLIX

EARTH FARE

ROWE’S

22 S. Eighth St., Fernandina Beach 11901-250 Atlantic Blvd., Arlington

NATIVE SUN

11030 Baymeadows Rd., Jacksonville 10000 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin 1585 N. Third St., Jacksonville Beach

32 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 24-30, 2018

1033 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine 1670 Wells Rd., Orange Park 8595 Beach Blvd., Southside

THE SAVORY MARKET 474380 S.R.-200, Fernandina Beach

WHOLE FOODS

10601 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin

JANUARY 24-30, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 33

PET PARENTING FOLIO LIVING G DEAR

DAVI

FREEZE PUPS

Even four-legged family members must PREPARE FOR THE COLD EVERY FEW YEARS, FLORIDA GETS A BITEsized taste of what the rest of the country considers winter weather. That means temperatures in the 40s or maybe even the 30s. And though it won’t literally be freezing, it’ll be enough of a weather change to affect most pets and their everyday routines, including walks and exercise. There’s no one right answer for an exact safe outdoor temperature for your dog, here are some factors to keep in mind.

WIND CHILL: A brisk breeze can quickly cut through a dog’s coat and greatly decrease the ability to insulate and protect against cold temperatures. DAMPNESS: Rain, wet snow, heavy fog—any form of dampness that soaks through the fur—can rapidly chill a dog even if the air temperature isn’t too cold. CLOUD COVER: Cloudy days tend to feel colder than sunny days; dogs can’t soak up the sun and warm themselves. It’s a common belief that dogs and cats can tolerate cold better than humans because of their fur, but that’s untrue. Like people, dogs are individuals. An outdoor temperature that feels downright balmy to one might send another running for shelter. In general, cold temperatures shouldn’t be a problem for most dogs until the numbers fall below 45°F. Add wind chill, and it’s not safe for any dog to be outside for an extended period of time. The most important thing to do when the temperature drops? Pay attention! If you think it’s too cold, everyone goes inside.

Old dogs, small dogs and dogs without much fur should be bundled up against the cold with sweaters and jackets. They may look silly, but it’s helpful for many. The extra layer keeps them warm, safe and stylish in winter. Don’t forget—some dogs burn extra energy trying to stay warm in wintertime; others get lazy. Be aware of your dog’s activity level and adjust calories accordingly. And make sure they have plenty of water to drink. It helps keep them hydrated and moisturizes their skin. If you’re looking for a way to avoid the cold on dog walks, consider walking through one of several businesses that allow pets inside. Whether wandering pet stores’ aisles (PetSmart) or doing laps around the perimeter of Lowe’s, your dog can stroll through several shops that allow wellbehaved, leashed pets. Let’s face it. Most of us don’t love freezing cold weather. My snout starts to shiver the minute I step into the frosty air. But no matter what the thermometer reads—and no matter how cold you feel, exercising year ’round is important for dogs. You may have to shorten walks to 10 minutes, but make sure your dog gets outside even for only a short while. True cold weather evidence suggests that dogs tend to have enough sense to do their business quickly in the cold. Remember these cold weather tips and enjoy everything winter has to offer. And don’t forget that cuddles with your canine are a great way for everybody to keep warm! Davi mail@folioweekly.com ____________________________________ Davi the dachshund looks dashing in all weather conditions.

PET TIP: GIVE THE DOG A BONE SUPPLEMENT AS BILLIE HOWLIDAY AGES, SHE MIGHT SLOW DOWN, SEEM STIFF or uncomfortable during her routine of butt-sniffing, flowerbed digging and squirrel-chasing. Her relative lethargy could be caused by joint pain, a natural part of aging. Happily, modern medicine has something that could put a little pep back in her step: glucosamine supplements, many in treat form. You can find them tons of places, like your vet’s office, most grocery stores or pet supply stores. Billie’s known for her discriminating taste, so she may not like your first pick—fret not; there are many varieties. 34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 24-30, 2018

LOCAL PET EVENTS CHILI BOWL FOR CHARITY • This second annual fundraiser for Friends of Jacksonville Animals is held at 6 p.m. on Sunday, Jan. 28 at Green Room Brewing, 228 Third St. N., Jax Beach, 201-9283. The Firewater Tent Revival plays live. KATZ 4 KEEPS ADOPTION DAYS • Adoption hours and days for you to choose a new family member are from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. on Jan. 27 and 28 and every Saturday and Sunday at 935B A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach, 834-3223, katz4keeps.org. Katz 4 Keeps seeks volunteers, ages 18 and older, to help with its cat-centric programs; email peggyhatfield63@comcast.com.

ADOPTABLES

COPPER

OVERSET

HEART OF GOLD • Me: Shy, quiet, loving. You: Same. 10/10 we should meet. Come to Jacksonville Humane Society and ask for Copper. You won’t be disappointed. Details available at jaxhumane.org. PET ADOPTIONS • Cat and dog adoptions are held from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. on Saturday, Jan. 27 at PetSmart, 10261 River Marsh Dr., Ste. 143, St. Johns Town Center, 997-1335, jaxhumane.org. READ TO ROVER • Beginning readers practice their reading skills when they read to real, live dogs from 11 a.m.-noon on Saturday, Jan. 27 at Southeast Library, 6670 U.S. 1 S., St. Augustine, 827-6900, sjcpls.org. AKC CANINE GOOD CITIZEN CLASS • The class prepares a dog for the American Kennel Club Canine Good Citizen test. It’s held from 5-6 p.m. on Sunday, Jan. 28 at Petco, 11111 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 254-5715; and at 430 CBL Dr., St. Augustine, 824-8520, petco.com. YAPPY HOUR • This dog-friendly event, in partnership with Salty Paws Healthy Pet Market and featuring music, food and drink, is held from 5-8 p.m. on Tuesday, Jan. 30 at Atlantic Beach Brewing Company, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Stes. 3 & 15, Atlantic Beach, 372-4116, atlanticbeachbrewingcompany.com. LEASH MANNERS WORKSHOP • You and Fideaux learn how to behave tethered together in public, from 7-8 p.m. on Tuesday, Jan. 30 at Petco, 463713 S.R. 200, Yulee, 225-0014, petco.com.

ADOPTABLES

JANE

ANYTHING BUT PLAIN • Looking for an adorable, happy cat to fill your life with joy? Well, baby, come on over! Jacksonville Humane Society staff has named me the “best in the building,” so please stop by and meet me. We’re open seven days a week at 8464 Beach Blvd., Southside. READ WITH SPIRIT THE DOG • School-age kids can practice their reading skills with Spirit, a real, live therapy dog who loves to listen, from 2:30-3:30 p.m. on Wednesday, Jan. 31 at Beaches Branch Library, 600 Third St., Neptune Beach, 241-1141, jaxpubliclibrary.org. ST. AUGUSTINE HUMANE SOCIETY WELLNESS CLINIC • The community clinic is open from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. every Wednesday and Thursday at 1665 Moultrie Rd., St. Augustine. The aim is to provide preventive care targeting families experiencing financial hardship, serving the medical needs of animals that otherwise would not receive care. MEMORIAL TILES • First Coast No More Homeless Pets offers the opportunity to honor the love and energy your pet shared with you during his lifetime—you can purchase a memorial tile, to be hung on the walls of FCNMHP’s Norwood Avenue clinic. You can personalize your tile with a message and a photo of the beloved family pet that has died. The tiles are $100 each, are tax-deductible and funds go to support the work of FCNMHP. For details and the form to complete, go to fcnmhp.org. _________________________________________ To list an event, send the name, time, date, location (complete street address, city), admission price, contact number/website to print, to mdryden@folioweekly.com JANUARY 24-30, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35

FREEWILL ASTROLOGY

DALE RATERMANN’s Folio Weekly Crossword presented by

CARL JUNG, THE PRICE OF EGGS, PAWPAW, PANDAS & SPUDS MACKENZIE

Serving Excellence Since 1928 Member American Gem Society

San Marco 2044 San Marco Blvd. 398-9741

Ponte Vedra

THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA

330 A1A North 280-1202

Avondale 3617 St. Johns Ave. 388-5406

FOLIO WEEKLY CROSSWORD 1

25 27

38 43

49 53

61 66

ACROSS

10 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 23 25 26 27 30 32 36 37 39 40 42 43 45 46 49 50

Herbert “Auld Lang ___” Group of flamingos Group of turtles Miami team Kinda Coagulate Medical suffix “Enough already!” in texts U.S. troops Ponderously Group of clams Ballet rail Manhattan district Lab eggs Jumbo Shrimp miscues Caspian nation It’s in the mood War stat Group of sandpipers Group of dolphins Group of sea birds Rugrat Scalped, say Arch type Curry and others

52 53 54 56 58 61 62 65 66 68 70 71 72 73 74 75

31 Casa Dora staple 36 Ex-UNF prez

Prefix with -con Skiff movers Mirage, maybe Group of whales Like some beach houses Lip-reading alt. WJAX drama Pablo’s Grill item Dear partner Rumor-starter words Well-informed Group of crabs Group of herons Say it ain’t so Part of BPOE Braided hair

DOWN 31 32 33 34 35 36 37

“Yo!” Proton spot Zesty India wrap Claws airer “Money talks,” e.g. Classroom basics The Cowboys, on scoreboards 38 Kona greeting 39 Type of mail 10 Group of sharks

36 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 24-30, 2018

11 12 13 22 24 25 26 27 28 29 31 33 34 35 38 41

Sasquatch kin Polish place Crafty e-tailer Fan’s fave A1A traffic sign Rhine city Jax Zoo mandrills Prepares flour Ship deck Caribbean country Limo riders Seiko rival Kitchen gadget “Land ___ alive!” Sit in traffic Not just good

44 47 48 51 55 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 67 69

JU dorm unit Main point K-9s Group of gulls 10 out of 10 Top picks Horse for hire Packaging need Pic to click A&E word Give it up Hangs loose Really riles Say “What?” The Zombies: “Tell ___ No”

SOLUTION TO 1.17.18 PUZZLE G E T T O

A V I A N

B U F F

D R E I

S I F T

A H O Y

G B E E L E N M A S R O T E P I E E T C R A Y E U N T A L T N E S I N C H T H M E A R R G O S O N

G A N U D E T E R L O C E H R I C O N U C O B O C S M O E E S T E P O N Y O D

S E E

N E S T E G G S

H E A F D E N I N C E E L

A T A L M E R Y P A I N R A N L S I M E N L I D E N I X S T E T E R A T E U D E S M A R T G R E E A R

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Anders Haugen competed for the U.S. as a ski jumper in the 1924 Winter Olympics. Though he was an accomplished athlete who’d earlier set a world record for distance, he won no medals at the games. Fifty years later, a sports historian discovered there had a been a scoring mistake in 1924. In fact, Haugen had done well enough to win the bronze medal. The mistake was rectified, and he got his long-postponed award. I see a similar event in your life. Recognition or appreciation you deserved to have gotten some time ago finally comes. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In 1899, Sobhuza II became King of Swaziland even though he was less than five months old. He kept the job for the next 82 years. In that time, he played an important role when his nation gained independence from the United Kingdom’s colonial rule. These days, you may feel a bit like Sobhuza did when he was still in diapers: not prepared or mature enough for the greater responsibilities coming to you. He received competent help in his early years from his uncle and grandmother, so may you receive support you need. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In my ideal world, dancing and singing wouldn’t be practiced primarily by professionals. They’d be regular occurrences in our daily routines. We’d dance and sing when we needed a break from the numbing trance. We’d whirl and hum to pass time. We’d greet one another with an interpretative movement and a little lilt. In schools, dance and song would be a standard part of the curriculum, as important as math and history. That’s my utopian dream. What’s yours? In accordance with astrological omens, identify the soul medicine you’d like to have in your everyday regimen. Then put it in there! It’s time to be more aggressive, creating a world where you want to live. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Psychology pioneer Carl Jung believed most of our big problems can never be fully solved. And that’s a good thing. Working on them keeps us lively, in a state of constant transformation. It ensures we don’t stagnate. I mostly agree with Jung’s opinion. We should be grateful for how they impel us to grow. I think it’s irrelevant for you now, though, because you have an unprecedented chance to solve a major long-running problem and leave it behind. Ditch it. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Between now and March 21, you’ll be invited, encouraged and pushed to deepen your understanding of intimate relationships. You’ll have a chance to learn much more about creating the kind of togetherness that comforts and inspires. Will you take advantage of this eight-week opportunity? Hope so. You may think you have more pressing matters, but cultivating relationship skills may transform you in ways to best serve other pressing matters. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In December, mass protests broke out in Mashhad, Iran’s secondlargest city. The economy had been gradually worsening. Inflation was slowly but surely exacting a toll. Unemployment was rising. But one immediate trigger for the uprising was a 40-percent hike in the price of eggs. It focused the Iranian people’s collective angst and galvanized a dramatic response. I predict a similar scene in your future. A specific irritant emerges, motivating you to stop putting up with bothersome trends.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In the late 1980s, Budweiser used a Bull Terrier to promote its Bud Light beer in ads. The dog became megafamous, and was hyped as rich macho party animal Spuds MacKenzie. The ad campaign was successful, boosting sales 20 percent. The actor playing Spuds was a female dog whose owners called her Evie. To earn money, the poor creature, born under the sign of Libra, was forced to assume a false identity. To honor Evie’s memory, and in keeping with astrological omens, strip away layers of false identity you’ve been pressured to acquire. Be your Real Self to the max. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The giant panda is a bear native to China. In the wild, its diet is 99 percent bamboo–not an energy-rich food, which means the animal has to consume 20 to 30 pounds of it daily. Because it’s so busy gathering bamboo, the panda doesn’t do much socializing. I want to offer the panda as your anti-power animal for the weeks ahead. According to my astrological omenreading, you should adopt a diversified approach to having your needs met, not just in food, but every other way, too. Variety isn’t just the spice of life; it’s the essence. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You’re the star of a “movie” that endlessly unfolds in your imagination. There may be several other lead actors, but few if any have your luster and stature. You have a supporting cast, and a full roster of extras. To generate lots of adventure, your story needs a lot of dramatis personae. In the weeks ahead, be alert for certain minor characters primed to start playing a bigger role in your narrative. Consider asking them to say and do more to advance the plot. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Typically, the highest speed attained by the U.S. Navy’s Nimitz-class aircraft carriers is 35mph. Not very fast. On the other hand, each ship’s engine generates 190 megawatts, enough to provide the energy needs of 140,000 houses, and it can go more than 20 years without refueling. I’m going to compare you to one of those aircraft carriers during the next four weeks. You may not be moving fast, but you’ll have max stamina and power. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The pawpaw is a tasty fruit blending flavors of mango, banana and melon. It’s rarely found in grocery stores. Two reasons: The fruit ripens very fast after being picked and the pollination process is complicated. In response to these issues, plant scientist Neal Peterson has been trying to breed the pawpaw to be more commercially viable. Because of his work, cultivated crops have begun showing up at some farmers’ markets. Undertake metaphorically similar labors in 2018. You may be lucky at developing rough potentials into more mature forms of expression. You’ll be skillful turning unruly raw materials into useful resources. Now’s a great time to begin. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): An iceberg is a huge chunk of ice that’s cracked away from a glacier and drifted into the open sea. Only nine percent of it is visible above the waterline. The underwater part, which is most of the iceberg, is nearly invisible. You can’t know much about it just by looking at the top. This is an apt metaphor for life itself. Most everyone and everything we encounter is 91 percent mysterious, hidden or inaccessible to our conscious understanding. That’s the weird news. The good news? In the next three weeks, you’ll have an unprecedented ability to get better acquainted with the other 91 percent of anything or anyone you explore.

Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

NEWS OF THE WEIRD AGAIN: DON’T DO DRUGS

NEXT YEAR: POLK COUNTY!

In Lawrence County, Tennessee, law enforcement officials are confronting fallout from a new drug known as “Wasp” (crystallized wasp repellant mixed with methamphetamine). To wit: On Dec. 18, as the Johnson family baked Christmas cookies in their Lawrenceburg kitchen, Danny Hollis, 35, walked into their home and asked for help. NewsChannel 5 in Nashville reported Hollis poured himself a glass of water from the sink before grabbing a knife and cutting across his throat. Teenage son Canaan Johnson said Hollis then ran up to the second floor, heaved an oak dresser down the stairs, and jumped out a window onto a gazebo below, seriously injuring his neck. The Johnsons, meanwhile, went to their car and called 911. Hollis chased the car down the street, but got hung up on a barbed wire fence. He stripped naked to free himself and climbed a tree, where cops found him, according to police reports. Hollis fought them off by allegedly throwing his own feces at them, as they tased him out of the tree. Hollis was booked into the county jail on numerous charges.

Polk County Sheriff ’s officers responded to an unusual 911 call on New Year’s Eve: Michael Lester, 39, of Winter Haven, started by telling the dispatcher, “Umm, I’m drunk. I don’t know where I’m at. I’m just drunk driving.” The dispatcher urged Lester to pull over and park, but he explained he was driving on the wrong side of the road near a Publix and wondered where the cops were. WTVT reported officers finally caught up with Lester, who helpfully explained he’d had several beers, hadn’t slept much and had taken methamphetamine earlier in the day; he was jailed on a DUI charge. Officers later posted on their Facebook page that “in this particular incident, nobody was hurt, so we couldn’t help but LOTO [that means we Laughed Our Tasers Off].”

OOOH, WISE GUY, EH? Khaled A. Shabani, 46, a hairstylist in Madison, Wisconsin, was arrested on a tentative charge of mayhem and disorderly conduct while armed after an altercation with a customer on Dec. 22. Shabani scolded a 22-year-old customer for fidgeting, then taught him a lesson by using the “shortest possible attachment” to “run down the middle of the customer’s head,” reported the Wisconsin State Journal, and “leaving him looking a bit like Larry from ‘The Three Stooges,’” police spokesman Joel DeSpain said. Shabani also clipped the customer’s ear with scissors. “While it’s not a crime to give someone a bad haircut,” DeSpain noted, “you will get arrested for intentionally snipping their ear with a scissors.” Shabani said the snip was an accident, and his charge was later reduced to a ticket for disorderly conduct.

KEEP CALM AND DON’T TAKE A STAND Disgruntled driver Matthew Middleton, 49, of Peterlee, England, spotted a speed camera near Hartlepool Rugby Club in October and decided to take a stand. He got out of his car and stood in front of the camera, blocking it, until police arrested him. Middleton further antagonized the officer by calling him a “pig” and giving his name as Elvis Presley. “They acted like what I did was the crime of the century,” Middleton told Metro News. “I know I shouldn’t have done it. People have just been laughing about it ... well, apart from my wife.” Middleton was fined about $54 plus court costs for his antics.

LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINAL When Dustin Johnson, 22, of Minot, North Dakota, tried to steal $4,000 worth of merchandise from a local Hobby Lobby, he failed to take into account that shopping carts don’t have snow tires. The Grand Forks Herald reported that over a seven-hour period on Jan. 3, Johnson filled a cart then fled the store. The cart got stuck in snow in the parking lot and flipped over. Johnson fell down, got up to run, dropping his wallet with photo ID matching the shoplifter’s description. Minot police found Johnson at his home.

weirdnewstips@amuniversal.com

Folio Weekly helps you connect with the paramour of your dreams. Go to folioweekly.com/i-saw-u.html, fill out the FREE form correctly (40 words or fewer, dammit) by 5 p.m. Friday (for the next Wednesday’s FW) – next stop: Bliss!

At last! Jan. 24 is MACINTOSH COMPUTER DAY and OPPOSITE DAY and January 26 is SPOUSES DAY. So toast Mr. Steve Jobs, without whom some of us wouldn’t have jobs, then don’t. Next goal: Find a spouse. For that, hop onto your favorite Apple device, snappily scouring the internet for links to love, starting at our site.

For quality assurance and a pleasant virus-free environment, go to folioweekly.com/i-saw-u.html and: One:

Write a five-word headline so the person recalls that perfect moment, like: “BACKSLASH MY ASS! GIMME MY MACBOOK! Two: Describe the person, like, “You: Cursing the below-standard PC your folks gave you at Christmas and gazing lustily at my 15-inch MacBook Pro.” Three: Describe yourself, like, “Me: Easily going from app to app, making great headway on a design project, oblivious, but sensing something was going to happen.” Four: Describe the moment, like, “You slid over on the bench where I sat in Riverside Park. I slowly began to explain how you could open folders with just one click.” Five: Meet, fall in love, get an appointment at SJTC Apple store. No names, emails, websites, etc. And HEY, it’s 40 words or fewer. Get a love life with Folio Weekly ISUs! MISSED YOUR LAST MESSAGES Waxed non-poetic on Sponge Bob, versions of ‘What a Fool Believes’. Easy, sweet conversation; missed messages before you ditched app (saw notifications; didn’t open). Silly to think you left number for me; feel you did. When: Dec. 28. Where: Tinder in the Duval. #1688-0117 PHOTOBOMB LIONS FOUNTAIN SAN MARCO The photographer turned into my path; I was a jerk, raised my hands. I got closer, you turned and faced me. I sat, put my arm around you; she took our picture. Lunch? Dinner? Drinks? When: Jan. 2. Where: San Marco Square. #1687-0110 HOGWARTS EXPRESS You: Stunning smile, blonde highlights, left hand tattoo. Me: Long hair, glasses, buying brother Hedwig mug. Talked about your Universal experience. I’d be honored to wait in butter beer line with you. When: Dec. 24. Where: Ponte Vedra (Jax Beach) Books-A-Million. #1686-0103 HANDSOME ELEVATOR DUDE Rode in elevator with you, leaving. I remember your blue eyes. We were with friends. I liked you. Let’s have a drink together. Me: tall(er)?, long hair, floral dress, combat boots. Think you wore a suit. When: Dec. 15. Where: River & Post. #1685-1227 BEAUTIFUL DRESS, STOCKINGS You: In cute dress, with bow pattern, black cute-patterned stockings. I sat two tables from you and noticed you walk by me to sit down. We briefly noticed each other as I walked out. When: Dec. 7. Where: JTB Chicken Salad Chick. #1683-1213 AIRPORT CUTIE You: Dark hair, slim, black shirt, gray pants, Nixon backpack. Me: Curvy, curly short hair, leggings, leather backpack. Went to Cali same day; back same day. Wanted convo; didn’t see you. Captivating aura. Who/where are you? Don’t go! When: Nov. 15. Where: Jax Intl. Airport. #1682-1206 IN PURGATORY WITHOUT YOU You: Working D&B’s counter; took time to find me a cool card. Me: Wearing Purgatory Co. shirt; agreed Purgatory’s a strange name for beautiful place. I’d love to get lost in your eyes once more. When: Nov. 19. Where: Dave & Buster’s. #1681-1222 HAGAR CONCERT ENCOUNTER We met at Sammy Hagar, talked; you and bro came over. Looked for you again, didn’t find. Tried to find at Jags game; couldn’t. Meet sometime? I’d like that. My name

starts with M; yours with T. When: Nov. 11. Where: St. Augustine Amphitheatre. #1680-1122 I THINK WE’RE ALONE NOW Me: Playing guitar, singing at Super Food. You: Entered alone, said you’d stay for one song, asked for my card, last name. I played “I Think We’re Alone Now.” I’m on Facebook. Should’ve asked your number. When: Nov. 1. Where: Super Food & Brew, Downtown. #1679-1108 MAN IN UNIFORM AT TARGET You: In Navy uniform, buying bleach at self-checkout. Me: Laughing at orange makeup with elderly mom. ISU in parking lot, new black Ram. Severely regret not saying hello. This is worth trying. When: Oct. 31. Where: Target, Beach & Hodges. #1678-1108 SEEKING MY “WOOD” ISU bum a smoke after Florida-Georgia. Noticed your sad eyes, New Balances, tube socks. We talked. You: Frat boy, pleated shorts; name ends in “wood.” Me: blonde, dirty martini, looking for love in all the wrong places. When: Oct. 29. Where: Mellow Mushroom Avondale. #1677-1108 NURSE ME TO HEALTH You: Misplaced duck living in the inky waters of gator land. Me: Furry, educated, feral. Told me how you left your true love back home. I’d let you hold the leash if we go on walks. When: Oct. 10. Where: Aardwolf Brewery. #1676-1108 HEY WHOOPING COUGH You: Ryan Gosling has nothing on you, esp when it comes to good advice. You said try Robitussin–I’d rather try you. Me: Getting over a cold, hope I didn’t ruin your movie. Meet for “coughee” sometime? When: Oct. 6. Where: “Blade Runner,” Sun-Ray. #1675-1011 I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU You: Walk your dog near my bush most nights. Thick guy, short legs I’d love to gnaw. Me: Watching you for months. Tried popping out to say hi last week, but I scared you. Happens sometimes. When: Oct. 3. Where: Ortega. #1673-1011 THINGS I’D LIKE TO DO With you. Take you into the woods. No sleeping bag, no tent. Want to lie under the stars and watch a meteor shower while we talk about nothing and everything. And wait for the rain. When: Aug. 26. Where: Shantytown. #1672-1004 JANUARY 24-30, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37

M.D. M.J. Future of legal marijuana in U.S., Florida HEATS UP

COLD WEATHER,

HOT BUDS

THE AIR IS COLD IN FLORIDA RIGHT NOW, BUT THE action is hot, and sure to get even hotter as this crucial midterm year rolls along. Medical marijuana advocates descended on Tallahassee for the start of the state’s legislative session that began on Jan. 9, bringing with them a wish list almost as long as the one I’m compiling for my epochal 40th birthday next month. Leading the way is the Florida Cannabis Action Network (FL CAN), which has blazed a trail on this issue since the early 1990s. FL CAN had been trying to get medical marijuana on state ballots since at least 1994, but it was some 22 years before its efforts finally bore fruit—or, shall we say, flower. Actually, we shall not say “flower,” because the smokable herb itself remains prohibited under current law, and will remain so for at least another year, though changing that is up near the top of the agenda. It’s unclear at this point whether advocates will try to roll the dice again on another ballot referendum, as apostates will be digging in their heels, resisting what they will rightly perceive as yet another precipitous step toward the end-game of full decriminalization, a goal that even the most optimistic observers concede is still a very long way off. But then again, with so many moving parts this year, truly anything could happen, Republican majority be damned. (Seriously—damn them. They suck. But you already knew that; you know how to read.) Pro-pot proselytizers in Florida are getting a little help from their counterparts on the national level, with a number of heavy-hitters from the Washington, D.C. Beltway joining the fray, led by Cory Booker, author of the Marijuana Justice Act, which seeks to decriminalize pot on the federal level, while also clearing the slate for thousands of Americans who’ve been burdened with nonviolent pot convictions over the years. Booker has already introduced the bill in the Senate, where it faces an uncertain future amid the general political turmoil of our times. The MJA has just taken a big step forward, as Booker held a presser on Wednesday, Jan. 17 to announce that his bill is now being introduced into the U.S. House of Representatives, sponsored by California congress-folk Barbara Lee and Rohit “Ro” Khanna, both Democrats. His legislation has quickly gained traction, as evidenced by a similar bill being reintroduced to the legislature just last week, courtesy of State Rep. Carlos Guillermo Smith, an Orlando Democrat who tweeted, “Proud to lead the charge on statewide cannabis decriminalization w/ this legislation two years in a row!” His bill would see pot re-categorized as a non-criminal civil violation, reducing penalties for possession to up to a $100 fine or 15 hours of community service. Minors could be sentenced to up to 15 hours of community service, a drug treatment program, or both. Ocoee Democrat Randolph Bracy will be filing the same bill in the State Senate very soon. Odds of either bill’s passage on the state or federal level aren’t great, but anything could happen within this midterm season’s chaos. In the meantime, the responsibility remains largely in the hands of cities and counties, and as pro-pot forces continue to coalesce, expect to see them bringing more and more pressure to bear on local lawmakers as the year speeds along.

Shelton Hull mail@folioweekly.com

38 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JANUARY 24-30, 2018

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FOLIO VOICES : BACKPAGE EDITORIAL JEA is not noot a STAC STACK CK O OF CHIPS

PLAYING BLACKJACK

21 WITH CHAPTER

WHAT DO YOU PUT ON THE TABLE WHEN PLAYING blackjack—your money? Sure. Would you put your authority as a person or your ability to earn an income on that table? Hopefully not. If you did, people might think you have a gambling problem, and they’d be right. Well, the JEA board has that itch to bring Chapter 21 of our city charter back to the blackjack table and see what the payoff might be. As this is the third time the city has proposed to turn JEA into chips, they just might have a gambling problem. And we have much more to lose than merely money. (But lots of that, too.) Chapter 21 is the portion of our city charter that establishes JEA with all the plenary authority of city government to “own, manage and operate a utility system within and without the City of Jacksonville.” Within the JEA charter, there are several kinds of power codified for the people of Duval. There is, of course, the authority to own and operate electricity, gas and water/sewer systems and all the properties and infrastructure that goes with that responsibility. Another kind of power is civil authority, your authority. Back in the heady days before term limits, when elected officials needed to apply longterm thinking to enjoy long-term success, JEA was created as an extension of city government. JEA’s civil authority has allowed Jacksonville to manage its own development and expand utilities based on what’s happening here, rather than what’s happening on Wall Street. This arrangement has been good for a city that consolidated with the surrounding county. Jacksonville could not have expanded electricity, water and sewer into the rest of the county so quickly and affordably with tax-free bonds if it had had to negotiate the expansion with a private utility based on market value. We are still reaping the benefits of those savings. Now, some want to sell that off … again. Deal you in? Privatizing JEA would require a transfer of what is now civic authority to a private, investor-owned utility (IOU). We wouldn’t be selling just our electric company; we would be selling our authority. We wouldn’t end up with just a new power company; we would end up with an utterly changed government. The sale of JEA would be like cutting off a limb, selling it to someone, and calling it OK because the buyer is doing the work you were doing with that limb, so you don’t need it. Place your bets. Beyond that, the $110-plus million that currently goes into city coffers each year

would have to be paid by the IOU. According ng to the 2012 council auditor’s report (from the last time the city had this itch), before purchasing JEA, the IOU would have to payy a whopping total of $6.4 billion to the city for or JEA’s share of the pension plan, refunding tax-exempt debt, and ad valorem taxes on the he real property purchased from JEA. That’s in addition to the price of net assets, which thee Daily Record recently reported as being worth rth h $5.5 billion. That outlay all comes before they ey could sell a single watt. Does that sound likee a good bet to you? And who would want to buy JEA? Florida d Power & Light seems to be in the best position to do so. And why not? Even if it costs an arm and a leg, it gets to buy out the competition. JEA is delivering power more efficiently at similar rates and provides better service than private utilities. If council and the JEA board allow FPL to buy JEA’s electric distribution, it would allow it to eliminate the competition. JEA is FPL’s competition right now and the citizens of Jacksonville are the investors instead of Wall Street. If we sell, we allow the benefits of competition to be eliminated. FPL has customers and investors to serve. JEA has a constituency of citizens to serve. A buyout would also eliminate your leverage at the ballot box. You elect those who appoint the JEA board. If you don’t like the politicians who appointed the board, you can vote them out. You have no say in who runs FPL. A private IOU would be hard-pressed to run an electrical grid and a water/sewer system with a sufficient profit to satisfy investors and pay all the legacy costs, corporate income and state taxes, and pay a good wage to its employees without raising rates. JEA does that now and hasn’t raised rates in two years. In 2016, the Public Service Commission approved FPL rate increases each year through 2019. If local unemployment concerns you, a private company supplanting our public entity should also concern you. The council auditors’ 2012 report states that “IOUs would save $72,345,480 per year by laying off an estimated 747 employees whose positions duplicate existing IOU employee positions.” This is what our own assessment says, even before the private green shades get hold of it. Instead of selling JEA, we should double-down and expand into FPL’s market. Chapter 21 explicitly allows us to do so. Since JEA has similar rates, it is competitive. Customers in surrounding counties can

benefit from local service and Duval can benefit from out-of-county revenue flowing through the Jacksonville budget as a hedge against higher taxes. There is a sense this time around that only the electricity service portion of JEA will be offered or sought for sale. In the Daily Record, City Councilman Tommy Hazouri cited concerns about how the city would provide water/sewer service if a company bought only the power side of JEA. I’ll bet that that will involve a tax or rate increase. Still, that might be better than a private company operating our water system. Recall Flint, Michigan? Of course you do. One good argument for private ownership is that the property-based school tax revenues from the newly privatized property would provide revenue to Duval schools. The problem with this position is that the school tax money goes to the state which decides through an algorithm how much each county gets. Duval would likely receive a portion of that money, but a lot of it could go to Orange, Miami-Dade, Hillsborough, etc. The term-limited, short-term thinkers on the council might be looking for a big payday during their term and could make a deal that sends the downsides of JEA’s sale into someone else’s term after they move on to the next office. The question is: Where do we want the money from our power bills to go? Wall Street or Main Street? JEA is not a company. It is an arm of Jacksonville city government. We shouldn’t let a boardroom tantrum create a crisis that doesn’t exist. If our right hand offends, we should not cut it off. We shouldn’t play that hand, either. We should step away from the table.

Jim Minion mail@folioweekly.com

_____________________________________ Minion is a citizen investor in JEA.

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