2 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 7-13, 2017
THIS WEEK // 6.7-6.13.17 // VOL. 30 ISSUE 10 COVER STORY
THE CLONE
[10]
WARS BEGIN To save his business, DOn
Myers picks a fight with one of AMERICA’S RICHEST MEN
STORY BY CLAIRE GOFORTH COVER ART BY DON MYERS
FEATURED ARTICLES
99 PROBLEMS
[4]
BY CLAIRE GOFORTH And SEA LEVEL RISE ain’t one?
CENTURY OF FAKERS
[8]
BY A.G. GANCARSKI The True Importance of ‘COVFEFE’
UP BY HIS BOOTSTRAPS [26] BY NICK McGREGOR Tracking the journey of ATLANTA RAPPER T.I., from street-hustler to one of America’s most outspoken artists
COLUMNS + CALENDARS FROM THE EDITOR MAIL/B&B OUR PICKS FIGHTIN’ WORDS E PLURIBUS JAX MUSIC
4 5 6 8 9 21
FILM ARTS LISTING LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR DINING DIRECTORY BITE-SIZED PINT-SIZED
22 24 27 30 31 32
CHEFFED-UP PETS CROSSWORD/ASTRO WEIRD/I SAW U CLASSIFIEDS BACKPAGE
33 34 36 37 38 39
GET SOCIAL visit us online at
FOLIOWEEKLY.COM PUBLISHER • Sam Taylor sam@folioweekly.com / 904.860.2465
DISTRIBUTION
EDITORIAL
ADVERTISING
EDITOR • Claire Goforth claire@folioweekly.com / ext. 115 SENIOR EDITOR • Marlene Dryden mdryden@folioweekly.com / ext. 131 A&E EDITOR • Daniel A. Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com / ext. 128 EDITORIAL INTERN • Caroline Trussell CARTOONIST • Tom Tomorrow CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Rob Brezsny, John E. Citrone, Josue Cruz, Julie Delegal, Susan Cooper Eastman, Marvin Edwards, A.G. Gancarski, Dan Hudak, Shelton Hull, MaryAnn Johanson, Mary Maguire, Keith Marks, Pat McLeod, Nick McGregor, Greg Parlier, Kara Pound, Dale Ratermann, Nikki Sanders, Matthew B. Shaw, Chuck Shepherd, Brentley Stead, Chef Bill Thompson, Marc Wisdom VIDEOGRAPHERS • Doug Lewis, Ron Perry, Carl Rosen
DESIGN ART DIRECTOR • Chaz Bäck cback@folioweekly.com / ext. 116 SENIOR GRAPHIC DESIGNER • Madison Gross madisong@folioweekly.com
BUSINESS & ADMINISTRATION BUSINESS MANAGER • Nancy Zarling fpiadmin@folioweekly.com / ext. 119
Bobby Pendexter / cosmicdistributions@gmail.com
PUBLISHER Sam Taylor staylor@folioweekly.com / (904) 860-2465 SENIOR ACCOUNT MANAGER Kathrin Lancelle klancelle@folioweekly.com / ext. 124 MULTIMEDIA ACCOUNT MANAGERS CJ Allen callen@folioweekly.com / ext. 140 Tony Fuesler tony@folioweekly.com Pat Ladd pat@folioweekly.com / ext. 151 Teri Suter teri@folioweekly.com / ext. 146 FOLIO WEEKLY MAGAZINE IS PUBLISHED EVERY WEDNESDAY THROUGHOUT NORTHEAST FLORIDA. It contains opinions of contributing writers that are not necessarily the opinion of this publication. Folio Weekly Magazine welcomes editorial and photographic contributions. Calendar information must be received two weeks in advance of event date. Copyright © Folio Publishing, Inc. 2017. All rights reserved. Advertising rates and information are available on request. An advertiser purchases right of publication only. One free issue copy per person. Additional copies and back issues are $1 each at the office or $4 by U.S. mail, based on availability. First Class mail subscriptions are $48 for 13 weeks, $96 for 26 weeks and $189 for 52 weeks. Please recycle Folio Weekly. Folio Weekly Magazine is printed on 100% recycled paper using soy-based inks.
thefolioweekly
@folioweekly
@folioweekly
Mobile App
For the best in Live Music, Arts, Sports, Food and Nightlife, download our DOJAX Mobile App by texting “Folio” to 77948
45 West Bay Street, Suite 103 Jacksonville, Florida 32202 PHONE 904.260.9770 FAX 904.260.9773 JUNE 7-13, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 3
FROM ROM T ROM THE HE E EDITO E EDITOR DITO
99 PROBLEMS And SEA LEVEL RISE ain’t one?
A SIGNPOST ON THE ENTRANCE TO Jacksonville City Hall should read, “You’ve just crossed over into the Twilight Zone.” For what else could explain the bizarre decision of our dearly beloved mayor (if you believe most media coverage and the assslapping bro-haha they’ve got going down on Twitter on the daily) to side with President “global warming is a hoax perpetuated by the Chinese” Trump on his criminally dense decision to withdraw from the Paris climate accord? More evidence we’ve entered the fifth dimension: Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, the former CEO of Exxon-freaking-Mobil, was one of the few West Wingers brave or delusional enough to reportedly try to convince the toddler at the helm of the most powerful military in world history not to withdraw from the deal. We know what happened. Seems that in the Twilight Zone, Steve Bannon’s reams of Breitbart stories are more persuasive than NASA’s actual science. Subsequently, ol’ Layaway Lenny Tweeted this gem: @realDonaldTrump @POTUS campaigned on American jobs, cutting regs that killed those jobs & he won. He’s doing what he said he would do. #jobs
4 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 7-13, 2017
Apparently you can say anything, no matter how stupid, if it ends with #jobs. After he was called on it by local media, including former Folio Weekly editor Anne Schindler, who long ago moved on to greenscreen pastures as an executive producer for First Coast News, everyone’s favorite Tax-and-Spend Republican went elbows-out, warning that editorial boards and columnists to “beware-Producers and Journalists now opine.” Seems he didn’t like Schindler responding to his Tweets with these quips: “3 feet high and rising” and “Tough to be on the wrong side of history AND science.” (You can take the gal out of the alt weekly, but you can’t take the alt weekly out of the gal.) The mayor later told A.G. Gancarski reporting for Florida Politics that he “didn’t take a specific position,” his Tweet was just a “general statement of support” for the nonsense oozing from that smarmy real estate guy who splits time between 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. NW and 1100 S. Ocean Blvd. After Trump provided the rest of the world with fresh evidence that America is no longer the beacon of tolerance, liberty, reason and justice, mayors across the nation struck back by signing a commitment to adopt, honor and uphold the accord’s goals. Signatories include mayors of 17 Florida cities, such as Orlando’s Buddy Dyer, Tampa’s Bob Buckhorn, Tallahassee’s Andrew Gillum, Miami’s Tomás Regalado and St. Petersburg’s Rick Kriseman.
Yep, mayors of every major city in Florida. Except ours truly. Hell, even Kissimmee’s Jose Alvarez signed the damn thing. Kissimmee: where reason reigns. So yet again Jacksonville gets to be the joke of the state. On the bright side, we’ll all be underwater soon enough, so maybe we won’t hear the peals of laughter rising up from Apalachicola, whose Mayor Van W. Johnson also signed. Speaking of the executive branch’s problems with facts, on Monday, Councilman Danny Becton took a small step for man, giant leap for councilman, by proposing to *gasp!* pay down the pension debt some time before your kindergartner is wishing they could declare bankruptcy on those student loans. His plan is fairly straightforward: Pay 15 percent of revenue increases in the city budget in coming years toward the pension. Each year there’s growth, we’d take 15 percent of that and add it to the total paid in the previous year; hence the payment would increase over time. Becton is concerned that we’ll be leaving billions of dollars of debt for our children and grandchildren, and that the city’s credit rating isn’t on the mend, anyway, as evidenced by Moody’s Investor Service’s most recent report which left Jacksonville at the Aa2 rating it was downgraded to in 2014, a report in which Moody’s scolded that Layaway Lenny’s plan called “to pay less now, pay more later.” According to materials presented by Councilman Becton, assuming an annual growth rate of 3.38 percent, which the city averaged over the previous 17 years, if council passes his measure, by 2031 when the pension tax begins, Jacksonville would have paid off a half-billion dollars of the $2.86 billion pension debt set to balloon into $5.9 billion under the current plan, otherwise known as Doing Nothing Until Everyone In Local Politics Is Term Limited Out Of Office. Some councilpersons present were skeptical, including Jim Love, who said his key issue is that Becton’s plan requires increasing the payment by 15 percent each year, which could eventually eat a sizable chunk into the city’s budget. But Becton wasn’t dissuaded, asking his colleagues to think on it a spell, and saying that he’s open to their suggestions. Meanwhile, the executive branch shook the scepter at Danny boy from the fourth floor, growling across the interwebs via Florida Politics, one of Curry’s favorite communication channels, that he wasn’t exactly keen on Becton’s plan to start stroking extra checks for that debt any time soon. Who cares about science, or math, or leading from the front, not the backroom, though? #Jobs. Claire Goforth claire@folioweekly.com @ClaireNJax
THE MAIL RE.: “Spring Fervor,” by Claire Goforth, May 24
BLACK PRIVILEGE?
“ … (PSST: BELITTLING AN AFRICAN-AMERICAN person’s accent and syntax is not OK)” psst: Ms. Goforth. Yes, it is very much OK. For a moment imagine those who don’t subscribe to progressive racism. Who don’t accept that skin color automatically confers attributes, good or bad, on the subject. Who don’t believe in Black Privilege, which casts a protective cloak around a person, protecting them from the normal vicissitudes of life the rest of us must face. So, in this spirit, lampooning the likes of Corrine Brown, Al Sharpton or indeed George Bush for their inability to command a grammatically, syntactically or properly spoken English sentence is indeed great good fun. And now, if you will excuse me, I need to rewatch ‘Al Sharpton vs. The Teleprompter’ on YouTube. Martin Abernathy via email
WATER, WATER EVERYWHERE …
IT BAFFLES ME WHY NO ONE IN THE STATE OF Florida will talk about desalination plants for water. If water is at such a critical stage, why can’t desalinated water be used for irrigation? Will animals drink desalinated water? California has desalination plants, why doesn’t Florida? It seems such a simple thing with an ocean all around the state. When I suggest water desalination plants to anyone complaining about Florida’s fresh water shortage, the response is always “it is expensive.” How much is it worth to reduce water usage out of the beautiful Florida springs and the aquifer? How much is it worth to the Florida livestock industry to fill dried-up lakes? How much is it worth to Florida agriculture to have all of the irrigation it needs? How much is it worth to Florida tourism to preserve pure water? It should certainly be a better use of funds to build desalination plants than to deepen the St. Johns River to receive more cheap Chinese goods. Bruce Mize via email RE.: “Filling the Gaps,” by Chloe Emory, May 24
GET THE F#*K OUT(SIDE)
THANK YOU FOR BRINGING TO LIGHT something so important today. With gas prices
soaring thanks to distributor collusion, like OPEC, it’s more important now than ever that families be given a way to spend time together that doesn’t require a tank of gas and a park pass. When I was young, my father took us out hiking all the time. Mostly short hikes to pick blackberries or apples, but by doing this, he taught us the real value of the land we live in and all that it has to offer. Hopefully, the article will inspire a 20something to take up the reins. Bob Mitchell via email
OVERSET
RE: “Artistic Repression,” by Carter Delegal, May 24
MATRICULATING INTO CYNICISM
AS A GRADUATING HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR, Carter Delegal is at a perfect age to appreciate government funding for the arts. Later, he can find out that government control follows government financing. As a physician of 45 years, amateur songwriter and published poet, I take a much more jaundiced view. I’ve witnessed government’s relentless drive to control health care and its progressive assault on the dignity of its practice. He should look at the controversies, nationally, surrounding Andres Serrano’s Piss Christ and locally over exhibits of nudes in a museum that receives city funds. They’d have been moot if government funds weren’t involved. Carter Delegal invokes the great Harlem Renaissance but doesn’t mention what role government funding had in it. There was likely little. Our ‘cultural prosperity’ did fine throughout our history without government support. Stephen Foster, Grant Wood, Frederic Remington, Edward Hopper, the Gershwins, Louis Armstrong, Mahalia Jackson and Elvis Presley all left great legacies long before the National Endowment for the Arts existed. I prefer that the arts remain beyond the corruptive reach of intrusive government. Finally, I suggest Mr. Delegal seek an agency other than ACLU as an arbiter of our constitution. ACLU was founded to protect communists as they tried to replace the American government, which leaves its interpretation suspect and one which is at variance with that of most Americans. Roderick T. Beaman via email
LEND YOUR VOICE If you’d like to respond to something you read in the pages of Folio Weekly Magazine, please send an email (with your name, address, and phone number for verification purposes only) to mail@folioweekly.com, visit us at folioweekly.com, or follow us on Twitter or Facebook (@folioweekly) and join the conversation.
BRICKBATS + BOUQUETS BOUQUETS TO KOSTAS’ PIZZA ITALIAN After 41 years in business, on June 2, the beloved Five Points institution announced on Facebook that it will close its doors forever on June 10. For four decades, owner Gus “Kostas” Margaridis has been a neighborhood fixture, serving delicious pizza and authentic, affordable Italian fare. The restaurant, the oldest in the neighborhood, is closing the day after Margaridis’ 74th birthday. Folio Weekly salutes you! BRICKBATS TO THE FERNANDINA FUN POLICE Since a local restaurant was cited on Feb. 18 for a noise complaint after neighbors called the fuzz three times in a single night, NCFL Independent reports, local noise ordinance complaints have skyrocketed. The complaints have gotten so out of hand, the outlet reported that someone called the cops about the noise from an 8-year-old’s birthday party. That must’ve been one wild and wacky game of pin the tail on the ass. (Hint: It’s the one holding the phone.) BOUQUETS TO PRUDENCE WILLIAMS In March, Williams received the prestigious honor of being named Social Worker of the Year by the Florida chapter of the National Association of Social Workers. According to NASW’s website, recipients must be excellent leaders who make a demonstrable difference in areas such as advocating for clients, social work practice, program development, etc. Our community is lucky to have amazing social workers like Williams standing on the front lines to protect the most vulnerable among us. DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? HOW ABOUT A BRICKBAT? Send submissions to mail@folioweekly.com; 50 word maximum, concerning a person, place, or topic of local interest. JUNE 7-13, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5
SAT
10
LACES & SLICES RUN FOR THE PIES 5K
The 39th annual Run for the Pies continues a great local tradition of combining athleticism with the chance to win a pie. This yearly fave features an Open 5K, a Championship (for those who’ve hit certain 5K run times in the last year), live music, free beer, prize money, free shirts, finisher medal, raffle, a pie-eating contest and 200 folks will take home, that’s right, a pie. 7 p.m. (Championship 5K) & 7:30 p.m. (Open 5K) Saturday, June 10, The Jacksonville Landing, Downtown, $30 through June 9; $35 day of, register at 1stplacesports.com/races/pies.
OUR PICKS LET’S BE NATURAL WORLD PADDLE FOR THE PLANET DAY
Cool off in this spring heat and check out the World Paddle for the Planet Day, featuring paddle trips, kayaks and paddleboards, informative eco-talks by Matanzas Riverkeeper Neil Armingeon and live music by Sugar Beats and Crucial Eddy Cotton, held at the longtime local landmark Genung’s! 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Saturday, June 10, Genung’s Fish Camp & Marina, St. Augustine; suggested donation $10 ($5 kids) includes lunch from Urban Asado; water shoes required (sneakers are fine, but no flip-flops), genungsfishcamp.com. SAT
10
CINDERELLA BELLE OF THE BALL Composer Richard Rodgers and lyricist-dramatist
REASONS TO LEAVE THE HOUSE THIS WEEK
13
Oscar Hammerstein II, better known as simply Rodgers & Hammerstein, created some of the most memorable musicals of the 20th century, including The Sound of Music, South Pacific and Oklahoma! Their take on Cinderella was the only production the pair originally wrote in 1957 for TV. Cinderella hit the stage in 1958; since then, it’s been produced around the globe, proving that the classic “rags-to-riches” tale of a young woman’s journey from servitude to a new life as a princess, is truly timeless. 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, June 13, Wednesday, June 14 & Thursday, June 15; 8 p.m. Friday, June 16; 2 & 8 p.m. Saturday, June 17; 1:30 & 7 p.m. Sunday, June 18, Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, Downtown, $38.50-$99.50, fscjartistseries.org.
BREEZIN’ ON THE BEACH ANNUAL SUMMER JAZZ SERIES
THE SONG REMAINS ESSENTIALLY THE SAME
THU
8
Not unlike the music of The Grateful Dead, chocolate mint and wearing electric flip-flops, smooth jazz can be an acquired taste. But devotees of this laid-back style maintain their loyalty, one sultry sax solo at a time. Lucky for them (and us!), the 13th annual Summer Jazz Series returns with another year of free concerts featuring more cool cats on the coast, like this week’s lineup: The Sax Pack (pictured), Bob Baldwin and Clay Benjamin. Bring blankets/chairs; billowy white, smooth jazz slacks optional. 5-9 p.m. Thursday, June 8, SeaWalk Pavilion, Jax Beach, jacksonvillebeach.org.
ZOSO Billing themselves as “The Ultimate Led Zeppelin Experience,” ZOSO gets the Led out in a serious way. Since 1995, the band has performed more than 2,400 shows worldwide, winning over crowds with spot-on renditions of tunes from Led Zep’s decade-plus song catalog, along with savvy visual imagery. 8 p.m. Thursday, June 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, $28 advance (SRO); $30 day of show, pvconcerthall.com.
6 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 7-13, 2017
TUE
THU
8
JUNE 7-13, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7
FOLIO VOICES : FIGHTIN’ WORDS
CENTURY OF
SOME YEARS BACK, Richard Nixon’s ex-speechwriter William Safire penned a profoundly useful column, “On Language,” in which he would offer deep-dive analysis on one contemporary linguistic tic or another. Safire didn’t live to write about the Trump era; however, if there were ever a need for a column devoted to the dark art of etymology, it’s probably now. Why? Language—news cycle after news cycle—is piled up with Trumpian inventions of language, which offer convenient distraction from actual policy moves. For a vivid example, look no further than last Wednesday morning, when President Donald Trump invented the word “covfefe” in a Tweet about how the media keeps hammering him for minor things, like having an administration full of folks who met with Russian functionaries but didn’t see that action worth a mention to anyone. Covfefe stormed the Internet. Every pundit, would-be pundit, quasi-humorist, and so on, had a take. And why not? For all people knew, Trump actually had a stroke before he hit 140 characters. Trump, for reasons only he and those inside the White House know, let the Tweet marinate for a few hours, as the term trended overnight, before pushing out a follow-up Tweet mocking the situation, urging people to guess the true meaning of covfefe. And so they did. It dominated the news cycle, taking pride of place next to policy ephemera like, oh, I don’t know, leaving the Paris Accord, seeing German leader Angela Merkel pivot away from the U.S. (signaling the end of a seven-decades-old relationship that helped keep the peace, relatively speaking, in what had been a continually war-torn continent), and other related issues. So covfefe. Why the hell not? If your administration had just wrapped a disastrous trip to Europe, if you as the president were reduced to touting the Saudi royal family and Philippines President Rodrigo Duterte as friends, you’d want to discuss fake words, too. After all, in the words of recent indiepop darlings Belle & Sebastian, it’s been a century of fakers. Let’s start in the early 2000s. After the attacks on 9/11, the war machine got fired up and ready to go—and go it did, in two theaters unrelated to Saudi Arabia, the country of origin of most of the 19 attackers. There was Iraq, a controversial theater of action, which many said was invaded for oil, and others said was invaded because W wanted to avenge his daddy and finish the job. And then Afghanistan, lauded by what passed for the center-left as “the good war.” We were going to liberate them from tyranny, et al.
Sorry for the spoilers if you’ve been in a coma for 15 years, but Iraq somehow turned out to be a quagmire, a situation in which a government was set up that was as shaky as South Vietnam’s ever was. And Afghanistan? Our puppet controlled a couple square miles in Kabul, his brother ran the poppy fields that flooded the world with opium that apparently was immune to abatement strategies, and now our soldiers—15 years in—are fighting the Taliban, which apparently is being supplied by the Russians. Tee hee. Whoops. So we sold these unproductive wars, while the destruction of the middle class continued apace. The economy heated up by easy credit and quantitative easing (a hallmark of 21st-century monetary policy). All went well enough through Hurricane Katrina, and then the financial crisis of 2008, a shit show without recent precedent, spotlighted the flimsy architecture of the Bush economy. Then Obama was elected president. And we all have the commemorative plates to prove it. A lot of great speeches happened. The foreign adventurism continued, with our portfolio of bombed countries expanding. The monetary supply was inflated further, with the benefit going to the top 1 percent, as those in the bottom few quintiles discovered their hard work wasn’t quite getting it done in terms of paying the bills. There was minor nibbling around the edges of the pernicious Drug War, but no substantive strategy revision; after all, it wasn’t as if cannabis could be moved off Schedule 1, and wasn’t as if the DEA were an Executive Branch agency. And Obamacare? It worked great in theory, though program refinements didn’t come in time to ward off the skyrocketing premiums Republicans exploited during the 2016 campaign. Whatever the faults of the Obama Administration, it has to be said: the man could deliver a great speech. For half the country, his soaring presidential rhetoric spackled over myriad holes in policy execution. With President Covfefe, we have the opposite situation: Jabberwockian words, empty provocations and the embrace of police-state thugs home and abroad. The common thread? We all get poorer. We all get a little more screwed over, as the gauzy rhetoric of high school government civics classes collapses under the acid test of life in a dystopian post-democratic state. A.G. Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com @AGGancarski
FAKERS The True Importance of ‘COVFEFE’
8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 7-13, 2017
FOLIO VOICES : E PLURIBUS JAX
photo courtesy Epic Images
The RAINBOW COALITION at Sable Palms
COMPLEX DIVERSITY ISRAEL STALLINGS LOVES THE INDIAN, IRAQI, Indonesian, Vietnamese, Burmese, Bosnian, Ethiopian and Haitian children who call this most diverse community in Jacksonville home. As program director at Sable Palms Apartments on Emerson Street, he sees children of different religions, clothing styles, holiday rituals and ethnic backgrounds growing up together on the complex’s sidewalks and playgrounds. He’s been surprised at times by Indian attire or dramatic African face-paint, but the children of Sable Palms don’t bat an eye. “It’s just like they’re brothers and sisters,” Stallings says. “They play together every day. It’s their norm. I mean, it’s amazing. There’s almost never any turmoil.” Sable Palms consists of 300 apartment units built in 1969, providing Section 8 lowincome rental assistance for a community of around 1,000 residents. The apartment complex has worked with Lutheran Social Services of Northeast Florida to help settle international refugees since the early 1990s. Stallings is tall, broad-shouldered and affable. His voice is big and kind and his laugh may be the heartiest you’ll ever hear. “A lot of the younger kids don’t really understand the situations their parents have saved them from,” Stallings says, “but the older kids will tell you how happy they are to be here.” On a field trip to Kingsley Plantation, a 10-year-old Iraqi girl told Stallings the plantation barn reminded her of where she’d gone to school back home, listening daily to the sound of bombs falling. I cringe to think those bombs well might have been American. Some Sable Palms newcomers with full family units find work quickly and move to a house of their own within a year or two, though in the seven years he’s worked here, Stallings has seen other kids grow to maturity. Sable Palms is a kind of home for him, too, and he believes Jacksonville could learn a lot from this community. “These are just people who want to be free to live their lives,” he says. “Who could be against that?” He has no time for the Samuel P. Huntingtons of the world who believe in the inevitable “Clash of Civilizations” or those who assume that different means conflict. In fact, Sable Palms could teach Jacksonville a lesson in community the same way the United States at large could learn from Toronto. The Economist recently ranked Toronto the safest big city in North America and
the eighth-safest major city in the world. Meanwhile, in 2016, the British Broadcasting Corporation named Toronto the most ethnically diverse city in the world. While populist American politicians ratcheted up their xenophobia, Canadians responded to achieving their goal of resettling 25,000 Syrian refugees between November 2015 and February 2016 by doubling the goal to 50,000 for the rest of the year. That’s right. The safest big city in North America is also the most ethnically diverse. Still, Stallings says, the kids growing up in Sable Palms deal with a fear that previous kids here didn’t. “They’re afraid,” he says, “that Donald Trump is going to send them back where they came from.” He even hears it in their play. Kids tell each other, “You better watch out or Donald Trump’s gonna come get you and send you back to Africa!” It’s awful to hear, but kids incorporate their anxieties into play, and the 45th president is their bogeyman. Stallings tries to reassure them and tells them the president can’t do everything he wants to do by himself. “I tell these kids, ‘Just keep getting your education. I’m gonna see you graduate high school and go to college.’” Stallings loves the sight of parents in traditional garb from around the world who queue up for the buses when their six-year-olds and 10-year-olds come home from school, and he loves the smell of the wide assortment of foods cooking in the early evening. “Oh, man!” he says. “You smell all these spices riding the air from every direction, and there’s curry and there’s Asian seafood and rice that’s not what you get at take-out Chinese restaurants, I mean it’s the real stuff, and there’s fish laid out to dry on African blankets in the sun, and it’s like the World’s Fair’s goin’ on in here.” Clearly, Stallings is surprised by how his life’s turned out. He never expected to become a father figure to kids from dozens of nations. He never planned to become an impromptu cultural ambassador. “But you know, my life and their lives is part of each other,” he says. “And I just love getting up in the morning. I love the work I do.” Timothy Gilmore EPluribus@folioweekly.com _____________________________________
E Pluribus Jax profiles unique individuals and groups that comprise and define our community. Share your local subculture/ethnicity/religious minority/disability/hairstyle or other otherness with us at epluribus@folioweekly.com. JUNE 7-13, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9
t’s going to be a long, grizzly, grizzly battle.” With that, Don Myers launches into the story he’s told many times. In 2006, the self-described geek took his gifts of a vivid imagination, artistic flare and business savvy to launch T-Shirt Bordello in his hometown. Fueled by Myers’ intense energy and subversive creativity, within a few years, the Jacksonville-based company was selling enough shirts on its website and at conventions that Myers was able to quit his job as head of IT with Firehouse Subs. In 2012, T-Shirt Bordello entered the Amazon marketplace. It soon seemed like a brilliant business decision. By 2014, Myers, 51, says they were selling 60 to 80 shirts on Amazon.com every day. With a staff of six, he was earning annual revenue in the mid-six figures doing something he loved. Don Myers: American Dream-catcher. But now, he says, the very company that helped catapult him into a higher echelon of success is driving T-Shirt Bordello out of business. “[Joining Amazon] was the worst thing I ever could have 10 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 7-13, 2017
Last month, Amazon became one of five American companies with shares trading in the $1,000 per share realm.
done for my business,” he said. Today his company is a shadow of its former self and Myers places the blame squarely on Amazon and its founder, Jeff Bezos. On a recent Wednesday morning, a spring storm raged outside Myers’ office within a large warehouse space in an old industrial building on East Union Street in Downtown Jacksonville. He explained why he believes the counterfeiter-friendly environment Amazon has created has brought T-Shirt Bordello crashing down. The office is littered with signs of a once-thriving business; modern computer terminals sit silently on unoccupied desks, a vacant photography area stands in one corner, its expensive studio lights turned off. Other than the storm, the only sounds were Myers’ and a reporter’s voices as he revealed that, in just a year-and-a-half, his company has withered away, forcing him to sell personal assets to pay employees, and eventually forcing him to let the last one go. Now it’s just him. In the adjacent warehouse area, T-Shirt Bordello’s inventory gathers dust, shelf after shelf after shelf of neatly folded shirts organized by size and style, ready to be packed and shipped as orders come in, which doesn’t happen too often anymore. Some days he sells a single shirt. Myers says the trouble began in early 2016. As a designer, he expects a certain amount of intellectual property theft, particularly on the Internet, but this was different, he says. That’s when he experienced a steep drop in sales on Amazon, which by then had become his primary revenue stream. Myers soon discovered that counterfeiters were stealing his designs and selling them on his page on the site. Thus began the grueling, frustrating and, thus far, fruitless quest to stop them. Amazon has a system in place for trademark, patent and copyright disputes between sellers. First, send the seller a ceaseand-desist order; if that doesn’t work, do a “test purchase” of the infringing material to prove that it’s not legally licensed, then send a Digital Millennium Copyright Act infringement notice, commonly known as DMCAs, to Amazon, at which point the company decides whether to remove the item. Some choose to simply send DMCAs, as it’s cheaper and faster, if potentially less effective. (Myers refuses to do test purchases of counterfeits, likening it to “petting a dog that’s barking at you to see if it will bite.”) But no matter which process a seller chooses to defend their intellectual property, many are dissatisfied. Online forums about the issue, including on Amazon’s own site, are rife with words like arbitrary, difficult, timeconsuming, expensive, ineffective, frustrating. But there’s another word that dominates the talk of the problem with counterfeiters: Chinese. Myers believes that after Amazon quietly changed to an open market policy sometime in late 2015 or early 2016 to compete with Alibaba.com, its chief competitor in the Asian market, Chinese sellers flooded the site with counterfeit goods, driving merchants like him out of business. Here’s how it works: A buyer goes to the T-Shirt Bordello storefront on Amazon.com, clicks on a shirt and selects a size, at which point, the site typically automatically offers them the lowest-priced matching item, which is more likely to be phony than a higherpriced item. Myers sells most shirts for about $20, $13 of which he says are fixed costs. On June 2, the medium men’s “That’s No Moon” shirt, one of T-Shirt Bordello’s top sellers, was being sold for $8.78 by one seller, $12 by another and $13.35 by another, not including shipping, on Amazon.com. (The design is copyrighted.) Each of the sellers was marked
“Just Launched,” meaning they hadn’t made a single sale. One of these sellers had 15,650 items on their storefront, another 31,350 and the third an unbelievable 235,325 items on their storefront. The odds of brand-new sellers maintaining so much inventory are slim. Unless a buyer is extremely savvy, they probably wouldn’t even be aware that they’d purchased a counterfeit until it arrived, if then, as they may reasonably believe that they’d bought it from a legitimate seller. After all, the item was being sold on that company’s storefront. As the fakes are often of inferior quality, sellers like Myers find they’re not only losing sales, they’re also being unfairly reviewed for the knockoff merchandise. T-Shirt Bordello’s Amazon storefront is rife with one- and two-star reviews, many of which concede that the
item they received was counterfeit. That’s why Myers has taken the additional measure of adding a watermark to his shirts on Amazon—in violation of the company’s policies—which says, in part, “PLEASE READ THIS—only buy this design if it is ‘sold by and ships by T-Shirt Bordello,’” and changed the description of his shirts—again in violation of Amazon’s policies—to say, in part, “If your order DOES NOT read ‘Ships from and sold by T-Shirt Bordello’ it is a scam and you are getting Chinese garbage.” Amazon has, as recently as last week, taken down the warning in an item’s description and removed the watermark after other sellers, likely counterfeiters, complained. Even listings with the watermark and warning haven’t been entirely effective to discourage buyers and forgers. Myers recently
corresponded with a buyer who, upon receiving a shirt on which a forger had actually printed the watermark warning, realized that he’d been duped. According to the postmark, the shirt was shipped from China. In a lengthy emailed statement from a spokesperson, Amazon told Folio Weekly, “Amazon is working closely with rights owners to strengthen protections for their brands on Amazon. We remove suspected counterfeit items as soon as we become aware of them, and we suspend or block bad actors suspected of engaging in illegal behavior or infringing others’ intellectual property rights.” The spokesperson also noted that the company is “building powerful tools”
CONTINUED NEXT PAGE >>>
JUNE 7-13, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11
THE CLONE WAR
BEGINS <<< FROM PREVIOUS to protect rights owners, “employ[s] dedicated teams of software engineers, research scientists, program managers, and investigators to operate and continually refine our anti-counterfeiting program,” utilizes systems that scan activity for signs of counterfeits, and “is also investing in innovative machine learning [artificial intelligence] to improve our automated systems in order to anticipate and stay ahead of bad actors.” “We take this fight very seriously and we look forward to partnering with even more stakeholders to eliminate counterfeits from our marketplace.” Nevertheless, the complaints continue.
RELENTLESS DOT COM
T
his is not the first time Amazon has been accused of creating an environment that allows sales of stolen intellectual property to proliferate on its site. In 2013, Seattle-based Milo & Gabby sued Amazon for allowing third-party sellers to sell knockoffs of its pillowcases on the site. (Milo & Gabby lost at trial and on appeal.) Hip-hop icons Run-DMC are currently suing Amazon and Walmart for $50 million for trademark infringement. Daimler AG, the German parent company of Mercedes-Benz, is currently suing Amazon
over third parties selling rip-offs of its wheels, and further alleges that Amazon itself not only distributed, but also sold, this stolen intellectual property. Last fall, Apple said that fully 90 percent of the official chargers sold on Amazon were fakes. (Amazon is not a party to Apple’s suit against a third-party seller.) Beloved international shoe company Birkenstock hasn’t sued, but last summer its American branch announced that it was pulling out of Amazon as of Jan. 1, 2017 due to counterfeiters and unauthorized sellers. Birkenstock USA CEO David Kahan warned that, while its products would likely still be sold on Amazon, buyers should beware. “It may be counterfeit. It may be stolen. It may be manufactured under questionable labor and environmental conditions,” Kahan said, according to Mashable. These are just those companies willing to come forward. Most aren’t. Amazon is a monolith, twice as large as its rival Walmart, with a stock that just last week became one of five U.S.-listed companies trading in the $1,000 per share realm. And it’s well-known for being relentless. In fact, typing Relentless.com into your browser will automatically redirect you—to Amazon. com. This isn’t a hoax; Relentless.com was an early name Bezos registered for the site. In 2013’s The Everything Store: Jeff Bezos and the Age of Amazon, Bloomberg Business journalist Brad Stone writes that friends told Bezos it sounded “too sinister.” Mark Lopreiato is a rare merchant unafraid to out one of the nation’s largest companies. In October, Lopreiato, the inventor and founder of California-based Forearm Forklift, a popular strap for lifting and carrying heavy items that’s sold by Lowe’s and other major
A buyer who’d been duped by a counterfeiter sent Don Myers this picture of a shirt on which the forger had actually printed his watermark warning buyers to only buy from T-Shirt Bordello.
12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 7-13, 2017
Senator Bill Nelson, the ranking member of the Senate Committee on Commerce, Science and Transportation, said that he is “familiar with” the problem of Chinese counterfeiters and would have his office explore the issue further.
retailers, was featured in a CNBC segment about his struggles with counterfeiters on Amazon. On June 1, he told FW over the phone that the problems first began in 2010. In 2015, the situation escalated. Prior to the CNBC segment, he’d spent years going back and forth with Amazon’s vendor managers, filing cease-and-desists, buying counterfeits, sending DMCAs, trying to stop the onslaught. “They would steal our images, hijack our detail page … it was just out of hand,” Lopreiato said. All the while, he was begging Amazon to intervene. “They kept saying, ‘We’ll help you. We have the best in the world building these algorithms, I’m sure they’ll help you out,’” he said. Nevertheless, over time, his business, which once employed 52 people, gradually shrank. Today Forearm Forklift has fewer than 20 employees. By last fall, Lopreiato’s patience had worn thin. Feeling he had nothing to lose, he told Amazon that unless they fixed the problem, he was going to the media. Amazon, he says, blew him off. After the CNBC segment aired, the company finally did mobilize, filing suit against a counterfeiter of Forearm Forklifts and more consistently removing counterfeiters at his behest. But it hasn’t been enough, he says, not even with him having one full-time employee doing nothing but identifying potential counterfeits and filing DMCAs, himself spending 30 to 40 hours a week on the same and two others pitching in. The day he spoke to FW, Lopreiato, a family man who grew up hard-scrabble, put his Rolex— the fulfillment of a lifelong dream when he purchased it—up for sale. Lopreiato estimates that, all told, counterfeiters on Amazon have cost him six, possibly seven, figures. “I’m on my way to being broke. I have nothing else to lose,” Lopreiato said, his voice breaking. Policing your brand is no new concept to sellers in the online marketplace. But on Amazon, some sellers say it’s a constant, and expensive, process exacerbated by the company’s policy requiring merchants to buy the product to prove it isn’t theirs. Once it’s proved to be counterfeit, they can return it for a full refund, thanks to the “A to Z Guarantee” that Amazon proudly touts. But there’s a catch, Lopreiato says. Too many returns, and Amazon labels you an “abusive shopper,” and suspends your account, even if you’re returning counterfeits of your own products. “We bought hundreds of fake Forearm Forklifts, [but] we can’t return them all, ’cause
they’ll think you’re an ‘abusive shopper’,” Lopreiato said. He says they have a “closetful” of fakes at the warehouse.
“GATED” FROM INNOVATION
I
f every design, artwork, patent, trademark and copyright is routinely ripped off in what could be likened to a virtual Canal Street, the area in New York City known for counterfeiters, some wonder whether there will be any incentive for people to create and innovate, knowing they have little to no chance of profiting from what is often the laborious, and costly, process of bringing new products to market. For this, many merchants blame China, specifically that country’s lack of laws or enforcement of intellectual property rights, which enables thieves to profit handily on others’ patents, trademarks, marketing and copyrights with impunity. “I guess the Chinese sellers are trying to take us over,” said Robert Luckie, owner of College Station, Texas-based Shirt Invaders, in a telephone conversation with FW last week. Luckie said that his struggles with counterfeiters on Amazon began early in 2016, the same time as Myers’ problems surfaced. At one point on a single item’s listing, he said they found 92 counterfeiters; after going through the process to get them all removed, two days later, there were 90 more. Using a spreadsheet to track all the thieves, he ascertained that although it appeared to be 92 different sellers, it was actually just two or three operating 92 different seller profiles. All were in China. After spending thousands of dollars on test purchases, sending scores of cease-anddesists and DMCAs, Luckie says that one day, the counterfeiters just vanished from Shirt Invaders’ Amazon page without a word from the company. “I think we did end up with our brand gated,” Luckie explained. He says they recovered about 90 percent of what they spent on test purchases. Brand-gating is Amazon-ese for closing a storefront to third-party sellers. Goods in the marketplace are sorted by Amazon Seller Identification Numbers, or ASINs. It’s a simple system like Uniform Product Codes, or UPCs (ASINs often correspond to UPCs), that enables the company to group listings of the same item on the same page, which makes shopping on the site a more user-friendly experience than, say, on eBay, where items are sorted by category and description and other
JUNE 7-13, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 13
Don Myers is the last man standing at T-Shirt Bordello, which two years ago was selling 60-80 shirts daily. Now rows upon rows of shirts sit on shelves gathering dust in the company’s Downtown Jacksonville warehouse space.
THE CLONE WAR
BEGINS <<< FROM PREVIOUS sellers of the same items appear below the listing, making it crystal-clear that the buyer isn’t dealing with the same company. Another key difference between Amazon and eBay, which has certainly had its own struggles with counterfeiters, but Myers says is “a saint compared to Amazon,” is that the latter requires sellers to upload items individually. If a seller gets booted from Amazon for complaints, getting all its items back on the site is as simple as creating a new seller profile and uploading everything at once in a single electronic file. Myers estimates it takes “less than three minutes to upload the inventory file and create a new store.” “We’re branching out to several markets and Amazon is the only one we’ve had problems with,” Luckie said. The company’s seeming inability (some might call it unwillingness) thus far to stop the proliferation of counterfeiters has led some to opine that Amazon’s popularity will be its downfall. On a website he launched on May 26, AmazonCopyrightAbuse.com, Myers explains how Amazon’s open market policy is running sellers out of business. In a post called “Amazon’s Open Market is a Gold Rush for Chinese Counterfeiters,” he writes that the company’s “support says they are not responsible for nor do they have the technology or resources to prevent counterfeit items from getting into the hands of the buyers.” The post includes an excerpt 14 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 7-13, 2017
Myers believes that after Amazon quietly changed to an open market policy sometime in late 2015 or early 2016 to compete with Alibaba.com, its chief competitor in the Asian market, Chinese sellers flooded the site with counterfeit goods, DRIVING MERCHANTS LIKE HIM OUT OF BUSINESS. from a letter he says he received from Amazon in response to numerous complaints he filed with the company trying to get it to remove counterfeiters from his page. The letter reads, in part: I understand that you would like to restrict the Brand: T-Shirt Bordello on behalf of the brand owner as there are no re-sellers for the brand. Please note that with regard to brand gating, as per the new policy introduced, sellers will not be able gate their brand as Amazon is a free market place [sic] and we do not restrict sellers from selling the same product with different offers in order to provide our customers with a wide catalog of options. However, you might see other Brands Gated on Amazon, the reason being we would have received complaints from the Seller/ Buyer, hence in order to protect and ensure buyer satisfaction the Brands will be gated. Even if a seller is successful at getting all the counterfeiters removed, it’s often only a
matter of time before more show up—Myers says that “before your coffee cools,” there are more. Within 45 minutes of FW finding the “That’s No Moon” medium-sized men’s shirt being sold by three likely counterfeiters on Amazon, a fourth, also just launched, had been added to the listing, this one selling the shirt for $10.99, plus shipping. The seller’s storefront had 48,430 items. Within seconds, that “just launched” badge had been replaced with a “100 percent positive lifetime rating,” thanks to a single review.
WHAT’S AN OFFER, ANYWAY?
F
or a litigant to prevail in a contract dispute, such as between a buyer and seller or two merchants, one party must have made an offer. It’s a fairly straightforward concept defined by centuries of seriously complex case law. In the case of Amazon, the issue is rather murky. Excepting items it stocks and ships from its warehouses, which is not without problems, Amazon never has physical control
over the items sold on its platform. It doesn’t set the price or description or ship the items, either, so how could it possibly be in the position of offeree for items it doesn’t make, describe or ship? It was this fact that in part led the court to find in favor of Amazon in Milo & Gabby’s lawsuit. But the judge wasn’t particularly pleased with the outcome. “[The court] is troubled by its conclusion and the impact it may have on the many small retail sellers in circumstances similar to the Plaintiffs,” wrote U.S. District Court Judge Ricardo Martinez. “There is no doubt that we now live in a time where the law lags behind technology. This case illustrates that point.” Excepting goods it actually sells, to Myers, who is not a lawyer, the idea that Amazon isn’t offering most items for sale is as ludicrous as saying Walmart isn’t offering to sell the goods in its stores. Amazon would likely take the position that it is essentially in the role of Craigslist, on which sellers and buyers are responsible for their own conduct. But the very scope of Amazon and of the problems with sales of stolen intellectual property on its site has some troubled by this conclusion, particularly as it leaves merchants without a practical means of recourse. U.S. courts have littleto-no jurisdiction or enforcement rights over businesses and individuals located in foreign nations. And successfully suing for intellectual property rights violations in Chinese courts is not only often prohibitively expensive, it’s also essentially unheard of. In his opinion, Judge Martinez called on Congress to act. On May 29, FW caught up with Senator Bill Nelson, the ranking member of the Senate Committee on Commerce, Science
JUNE 7-13, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15
THE CLONE WAR
BEGINS <<< FROM PREVIOUS and Transportation, at a press event at UF Health Shands. Following a brief explanation of the issues affecting Myers and other American businesses, Sen. Nelson said that he was “familiar with” the problem of Chinese counterfeiters and would look into it further. A follow-up call from his Washington, D.C. office days later seems to indicate the senator is following through. There’s another wrinkle to Amazon’s claim that it’s merely a passive platform, which the Daimler AG suit illustrates. Daimler AG alleges that Amazon itself was selling fake Mercedes-Benz wheels. On May 25, searching for “tshirt bordello” items sold by Amazon. com, FW found and took screenshots of two shirts Amazon.com was selling on Myers’ storefront. Myers says he did not design those shirts, nor did he authorize Amazon to use his brand name to sell them. The shirts have since disappeared from the storefront. Irrespective of some complaints, thus far Amazon has enjoyed a very positive reputation. “When people go to Amazon, they expect that they’re going to be treated correctly,” said Myers. Indeed, even as some sellers feel violated, Amazon rakes it in. With a market value of $478 billion and annual revenue generation of more than $75 billion, it could seem that the company has no incentive to stop the flood of counterfeits. Last September, Consumerist reported that sales from Chinese sellers had more than doubled on Amazon the previous year, possibly due to it adopting an open-market policy and registering with the Federal Maritime Commission to provide freight directly from China to Amazon’s fulfillment centers, such as the four centers to open in Jacksonville in the next few years, for which the city has ponied up millions of dollars in corporate incentives. But lawsuits, complaints, media coverage and shuttering American businesses can generate a rising tide of public opinion against a company which, in turn, can hurt its bottom line. Last year, Forbes reported that Rolex ousted Amazon from its top spot as America’s most reputable company, a position it had held for three years. (It placed second.) Certainly a few stories about counterfeiters aren’t entirely to blame; indeed, some of the more shocking reports about Amazon concern the working environment, especially inside fulfillment centers. (See “Primed for Amazon’s Satanic Warehouse,” Nov. 30) But Amazon could have a looming public relations problem. Like all things that are earned, consumer faith can be lost. “I kinda see this as the downfall of Amazon,” said Luckie, referring to its business practices. Some say that if Amazon were as relentless fighting the counterfeiters as it has been pursuing expansion, people like Don Myers would have no beef with the site. There are some signs that Amazon is taking this seriously. Last November, for the first time, the company filed suit against sellers for intellectual property theft, including one allegedly counterfeiting Forearm Forklifts. After Lopreiato went to the press, he says he found a far more helpful Amazon at his disposal. And while the company ignored requests for comment in some early stories about this issue, it responded to an email inquiry from FW just 35 minutes later. Subsequently, Myers also heard from the company, which he says had ignored his many 16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 7-13, 2017
pleas—and well over a hundred DMCAs—to talk about his complaints. But, he says, his conversation with two representatives from Amazon was laughably fruitless. He said one representative accused him of not effectively policing counterfeiters.
TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
I
n the last 16 months, Myers has reasoned, cajoled, calculated, begged, raged and wept trying to find some resolution to this issue. With T-Shirt Bordello sales at an all-time low, now he says that no matter what Amazon does, whether it gates his brand or gets rid of all the counterfeiters stealing his designs, he’s done playing nice. He’s retained the counsel of Rogers Towers, one of Florida’s oldest and most respected law firms, with the intention of filing a class action suit against Amazon. “We are exploring Amazon’s unauthorized use of trademark or copyright,” confirmed Myers’ patent attorney Joseph P. Kincart. On AmazonCopyrightAbuse.com, Myers spells out the issues he’s had with the company and his contempt for it in no uncertain terms. The postscript on the homepage reads, “If you are an attorney for Amazon reading this, tell Jeff [Bezos] I said he’s a douchebag.” Myers has also worked with a developer to design software that automatically sends DMCAs to Amazon. A recent trial run sent multiple DMCAs on a single item in a matter of seconds. Myers says Amazon informed him that the item was cleared of counterfeiters at 6:32 a.m. that day; he sent FW a screenshot showing that, by 8:30 a.m. that, there were already two counterfeits on the item. He hopes the software will help him and other sellers police their brands without the timeconsuming process of identifying counterfeits, creating and sending DMCAs piecemeal. Some wonder why, if Amazon is so bad, sellers don’t simply leave. Myers explained that leaving the marketplace doesn’t make counterfeiters go away nor does it close your storefront. It just makes it easier for forgers to sell their wares without being hindered, even temporarily, by complaints. (Though it pulled out on Jan. 1, on June 4, a search on Amazon for “Birkenstocks” turned up nearly 1,800 items—any number of which could be fake.) Myers said he tried closing his storefront but it did not have any impact on the counterfeiters. Lopreiato said the same, adding that it also cut him off from communicating with them to send cease-and-desists. Though some consumers don’t care if a purchase is counterfeited, others do. Not only are counterfeits often of inferior quality, there are safety concerns associated with buying knock-off food, health and beauty products, children’s toys, etc. For some vigilant consumers, that “fulfilled by Amazon” badge lures them into believing that an item couldn’t possibly be counterfeit. Not so, say Myers and others. Sellers have long complained that Amazon stocks and ships fakes from its own warehouses, where they are commingled with legitimate items. Most merchants would give up, or quietly fight and hope something changes before they lose everything. Myers isn’t most merchants. It helps that he coincidentally started a business selling reclaimed wood right around the time this all came to a head—he wryly notes that reclaimed wood luckily can’t be counterfeited. But he’s not giving up on T-Shirt Bordello or on recouping the hundreds of thousands of dollars of his estimated losses. “If I have to, I will get arrested for chaining myself to the front gates of Amazon,” he said. “… I am young, I am bitter and I am smart.” Claire Goforth claire@folioweekly.com
JUNE 7-13, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17
18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 7-13, 2017
JUNE 7-13, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 19
Brett’s Waterway Café
Overlooking Fernandina Harbor Marina, Brett’s offers an upscale atmosphere with outstanding food. The extensive luncheon and dinner menus feature daily specials, fresh Florida seafood, chicken and aged beef. Cocktails, beer and wine. Casual resort wear. Open at 11:30 a.m. daily. Fernandina Harbor Marina at the foot of Centre Street 904-261-2660
T-Ray’s Burger Station
T-Ray’s offers a variety of breakfast and lunch items. In addition to an outstanding breakfast menu, you’ll find some of the best burgers you’ve ever put in your mouth. The Burger Station offers a grilled portabello mushroom burger, grilled or fried chicken salad and much more. The spot where locals grab a bite and go! Now serving beer & wine. Open Mon.-Fri. 7 a.m.-2:30 p.m., Sat. 8 a.m.-1 p.m. Closed Sundays. 202 S. Eighth Street 904-261-6310
Jack & Diane’s
The locals’ favorite hangout! Dine inside or on the patio of this cozy, renovated 1887 shotgun home in historic downtown Fernandina Beach. From the crab & shrimp omelet to the steak & tomato pie, “The tastiest spot on Centre” offers food with attitude and unexpected flair. Live music elevates your dining experience to a new level. Come for breakfast, stay for dinner! You’ll love every bite! 708 Centre Street 904-321-1444
The Mustard Seed Cafe
Inside Nassau Health Foods, The Mustard Seed is Amelia Island’s only organic eatery and juice bar, with an extensive, eclectic menu featuring vegetarian and vegan items. Daily specials include local seafood, free-range chicken and fresh organic produce. Salads, wraps, sandwiches and soups are available – all prepared with our staff’s impeccable style. Popular items are chicken or veggie quesadillas, grilled mahi, or salmon over mixed greens and tuna melt with Swiss cheese and tomato. Open for breakfast and lunch, 8 a.m.-3 p.m. Mon.-Sat. nassauhealthfoods.net 833 T.J. Courson Road 904-277-3141
Moon River Pizza
Moon River Pizza treats customers like family. Cooked in a brick oven, the pizza is custommade by the slice (or, of course, by the pie). Set up like an Atlanta-style pizza joint, Moon River also offers an eclectic selection of wine and beer. Open for lunch and dinner Mon.-Sat. Dine in or take it with you. 925 S. 14th Street 904-321-3400
Cafe Karibo
Homemade sandwiches, salads and soups are served in a relaxed atmosphere in this charming building in the historic district. Delicious fresh fish specials and theme nights (Pad Thai and curry), plus vegetarian dishes, are also featured. Karibrew Brew Pub & Grub – the only one on the island – offers onsite beers and great burgers and sandwiches. 27 N. Third Street 904-277-5269
Amelia Island is 13 miles of unspoiled beaches, quaint shops, antique treasures and superb dining in a 50-block historic district less than one hour north of Jacksonville 20 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 7-13, 2017
FOLIO A + E A
voluminous book could be written about Tears For Fears, the British band that started as a mod revival act in 1981 (see early single “Elvis Should Play Ska”) but within four years perfected the hallmark ’80s combination of jaunty New Wave, haunting synth-pop and brooding melodic rock. Named for a form of primal scream therapy pioneered by American psychologist Arthur Janov, whose most famous client was John Lennon, core Tears For Fears members Roland Orzabal and Curt Smith struck the multiplatinum mother lode with three albums: ’83’s The Hurting, ’85’s Songs From The Big Chair and ’89’s Sowing the Seeds Of Love. All used emotional pain as a jumping-off point, juxtaposing personal distress with the existential threats (think the Cold War, Reagan and Thatcher’s arch-conservatism, and the high-watermark of totalitarian Communism) that looked to tear the world asunder. And listening again to songs like “Shout,” “Woman in Chains” and “God’s Mistake,” it’s easy to draw close parallels with our current sociopolitical upheaval. In honor of Tears For Fears reuniting recently after Orzabal and Smith spent 15 years apart, we revisit six of their most famous songs to see how they apply today. “Mad World” (’82) Tears For Fears’ first big hit came from humble beginnings— Orzabal wrote it as a 19-year-old living above a pizza parlor in Bath—and was nearly destined for B-side dubiousness, until Phonogram records insisted a version sung by Curt Smith could stand alone. Inspired heavily by therapeutic practices now mostly discredited, it set the tone for Tears For Fears and the way they would master mixing the personal and the political (sample lyric: “The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had.”)
FILM Hannie Caulder FILM Megan Leavey MUSIC T.I. LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CALENDAR
“Shout” (’84) The most recognizable song in Tears For Fears’ oeuvre, it also might be their most direct (and the most applicable to today’s foment). Every music fan worth his or her salt knows that chorus—“Shout! Shout! Let it all out/These are the things we can do without/Come on/I’m talking to you/Come on.” As Orzabal and Smith have both said, “Shout” moved from the therapeutic angle into patently political territory: “In 1984, a lot of people were still worried about the aftermath of the Cold War,” Orzabal has said. “‘[Shout]’ was basically an encouragement to protest.” And Smith’s words ring particularly true
now: “It concerns protest inasmuch as it encourages people not to do things without actually questioning them. People act without thinking because that’s just the way things go in society.” “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” (’85) Tears For Fears seemed to rule the world in 1984-’85, capitalizing on “Shout’s” success with another No. 1 hit. Though initially an afterthought while recording Songs from the Big Chair, this one took on power of its own once Orzabal honed the Orwellian lyrics: “Even while we sleep/We will find you acting on your best behavior/
TEARS FALL ANEW ’80S ICONS Tears For Fears bring timely (and timeless) hits back to life
“The Way You Are” (’83) The only song written by all four golden-era Tears For Fears members (Orzabal, Smith, drummer Manny Elias, keyboardist Ian Stanley,) this tune was one of the first pop songs to feature sampled vocals and programmed rhythms. Smith may call it “the worst thing we’ve done,” but who among us hasn’t thought over the last few months that we’re all “Going far, getting nowhere, the way you are”?
PG. 22 PG. 23 PG. 26 PG. 27
Turn your back on Mother Nature/Everybody wants to rule the world.” We wouldn’t be surprised if Donald Trump considers this one of his ultimate guilty pleasures. “Head Over Heels” (’85) The tender ballad follow-up to the previous two political hits, Orzabal once called “Head Over Heels” one of the simplest tracks Tears For Fears had recorded. But consider the second verse, which adds a perverse twist and makes for great listening in our post-Paris Accord environment: “I made a fire and watching it burn/Thought of your future/With one foot in the past, now, just how long will it last?/No, no, no, have you no ambition?/My mother and my brothers used to breathe in clean air.” Head over heels, indeed, as we tumble headlong toward climate collapse. “Sowing the Seeds of Love” (’89) The lead single from ’89’s Seeds of Love, which cost a then-astronomical sum of a million pounds to make, “Sowing the Seeds of Love” might be easy to brush off as a hippie throwaway. The Beatles-like production gave it a retro vibe, and the sunflower-adorned cover art would go on to be shamelessly ripped off by the apolitical early ’90s alt-rock movement. But Orzabal actually wrote this one immediately after Margaret Thatcher and the Conservative Party won its third consecutive term. No doubt The Iron Lady took it personally: “Politician granny with your high ideals, have you no idea how the majority feels?” In 1990, Orzabal and Smith split up, with Orzabal still releasing music under the Tears For Fears name for five more years. But it wasn’t until 2005 that the core duo came back together, setting the stage for an ’80s revival with “Closest Thing to Heaven,” which sounds just like a John Hughes comeback movie. The two toured sporadically in the early 2010s and are nearing completion on their first new album in 13 years. (Orzabal recently described one song as “a combination of Portishead and Queen. It’s just crazy.”) Though they didn’t play a show in their home country until 2016, Tears For Fears are going strong in 2017, steaming across the U.S. on a co-headlining tour with fellow ’80s legends Hall & Oates (who, very sadly, aren’t part of the Jacksonville bill). “Our music has stood the test of time, so to speak,” Curt Smith told Parade earlier this year. “It’s the melody that we’re known for.” Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly.com
TEARS FOR FEARS
8 p.m. June 10, Daily’s Place, Downtown, $35-$340, dailysplace.com
JUNE 7-13, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 21
FOLIO A+E : MAGIC LANTERNS An off-the-radar Western hits the genre’s BULL’S-EYE 40 years on
RAQUEL’S
REVENGE O
22 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 7-13, 2017
ne of the major winners at this year’s Cannes Festival was British writer/ director Lynne Ramsay, whose fi lm You Were Never Really Here won her Best Screenplay and Joaquin Phoenix Best Actor. Several commentators remarked on her significant rebound from the disappointment of Jane Got Her Gun (2015)—she’d quit the director job on the first day of shooting, which led to all kinds of accusations and recriminations from all sides. Regardless, as I read the articles, what struck me was the comment that Jane Got Her Gun was a loose remake of Hannie Caulder (1971). That movie, as I recalled it, was nothing more than a western with long-haired, sexy Raquel Welch trying to prove (unsuccessfully) she could act in a serape rather than her caveman bikini from One Million Years B.C. five years earlier. Newly restored on Bluray by Olive Films as part of its Signature Series, Hannie Caulder now makes me reevaluate my earlier dismissal. It’s still true that Welch wasn’t a good actress in 1971, but the film is one of the oddest, most unusual westerns of its time, curious and quite watchable for all its faults, not unlike Ms. Welch. Attributed to three writers but actually rewritten by director Burt Kennedy as Z.X. Jones, the story is one of the first girl-with-agun revenge fables. Its spawn included Abel Ferrara’s seminal Ms. 45, Meir Zarchi’s I Spit on Your Grave and Chan-Wook Park’s Lady Vengeance. After her husband is killed and she is raped by the Clemens brothers (Ernest Borgnine, Strother Martin, Jack Elam, three of the most unattractive yet stellar character actors of the day), Hannie asks bounty hunter Thomas Luther Price (Robert Culp) to teach her how to shoot. They set off in pursuit. Straightforward enough in basic plot (if somewhat original in featuring a lady as avenger), what sets Hannie Caulder apart from other westerns of the period is its truly unusual supporting characters. First, there are the villains. Borgnine, Martin and Elam were born to play memorable bad guys, and each did so over long careers. Only two years before in ’69, Borgnine and Martin were in Sam Peckinpah’s The Wild Bunch, wearing similar grungy duds. Just before Hannie Caulder, Elam traded shots with ‘Broadway’ Joe Namath and Willy Strode in The Last Rebel, an unintentionally laughable piece of trash. Despicable though their characters are in Hannie Caulder, the three were literally encouraged to play the parts like the Three Stooges, which they do to perfection. The Clemens brothers are nasty, but they’re also funny—deliberately so. In the thankless role of the male hero supporting Hannie, Culp is simply terrific as bearded Thomas Luther
Price (with John Lennon spectacles). Quentin Tarantino acknowledged Hannie Caulder was one of his inspirations for Kill Bill, with Culp’s performance its major appeal. Making his only appearance in a Western and in one of his few roles outside the horror genre (at the time), Christopher Lee plays gunsmith Bailey, hired by Thomas to fashion a gun for Hannie. Living in a remote home with a Mexican wife and an enormous brood of children miles from civilization, Bailey serves little purpose in the film except to provide screen-time for Hannie to practice her draw and to set up a nifty shootout, Lee getting practice for his role three years later when he took aim at the late Roger Moore as James Bond in The Man with the Golden Gun. Like so much of Hannie Caulder, Christopher Lee’s acting is a lot of fun to watch. The last—and oddest— noteworthy role is Stephen Boyd’s (Charlton Heston’s BenHur nemesis) Preacher, a man of the cloth who might really be a rival bounty hunter. Then again, he just might be Death or the Spirit of Vengeance. He never says a word, popping up at crucial times, and riding off into the distance (with Hannie) at the end. Raquel Welch sporting a serape (like Clint Eastwood did in his spaghetti westerns) with nothing underneath (unlike Eastwood), and only later in the film with pants is totally unbelievable. She’s also eminently watchable, particularly amid such talented pros. Great photography and a pulsing score by Ken Thorne round out the guilty pleasure that is Hannie Caulder. Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com
NOWSHOWING SUN-RAY CINEMA Wonder Woman, David Lynch: The Art of Life, Buster’s Mal Heart and The Lovers screen at 1028 Park St., 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. Kids Series starts with Moana, 10 a.m. June 7 & 10. It Comes at Night starts June 9. Black Butler: Book of the Atlantic starts June 12. The 48-Hour Film Fest continues. CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ Their Finest and Toni Erdmann screen. Throwback Thursday screens Royal Wedding, noon June 8, 6 p.m. June 11. Christopher Lee Week starts June 9 with Horror Express. Local authors Robert Pohle and Rita Pohle Baldwin discuss their book, The Christopher Lee Film Encyclopedia, 6 p.m. June 9. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring and Like Crazy start June 9. The Accompanist runs June 10. 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com. IMAX THEATER Wonder Woman, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, Prehistoric Planet, Dream Big and Extreme Weather screen at World Golf Village IMAX Theater, St. Augustine, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com. The Mummy starts June 8.
FOLIO A+E : FILM
I WANNA BE YOUR
(BOMB-SNIFFING) DOG True-life story of a Marine and her canine sidekick gives animal lovers’ SURE-FIRE DRAMA
T
he first thing dog lovers will want to know about Megan Leavey, the story of a Marine and her bomb-sniffing dog, is whether the dog makes it through the movie OK. Spoiler warning: Skip to the next paragraph if you don’t want/need to know. Here it is: The dog makes it through just fine. If you love dogs or animals and absolutely hate seeing anything bad happen to them, you’ll be OK. This movie champions animals, and rightfully doesn’t use them for pathos. Based on a true story, the film is set in 2001, and 20-year-old Megan (Kate Mara) is a lost soul. She lives at home with her mother Jackie (Edie Falco), whom she can’t stand, and her mother’s deadbeat boyfriend Jim (Will Patton), whom she despises. Her father Bob (Bradley Whitford) is loving, but not around much. Her best friend is dead, and she has no job. Life sucks. Megan’s solution is to join the Marines. It’s good for her in terms of structure, discipline and respect for authority. After a rowdy night out, she’s assigned to clean the dog kennels, and the idea of working with dogs piques her interest. Her commanding officer Gunny
Martin (Common) eventually warms to her and allows her to work with bomb-sniffing dogs, which leads her to Rex, a German Shepherd. At first, Rex is an aggressive jerk, but soon the two bond and they’re off to Iraq. There, they complete more than 100 missions and save countless lives. Remember: They’re not just on the frontlines—they’re in front of the frontlines, ensuring clear passage.
MEGAN LEAVEY ***@
Rated PG-13
There are many things to like about director Gabriela Cowperthwaite’s movie, including the love interest (Ramon Rodriguez) angle not being overplayed, and the fact that we’re spared gender discrimination within the Marines. Cowperthwaite (Blackfish) avoids emphasizing either element; that would’ve trivialized the drama with conventional plot
points we’ve seen so many times. Remaining focused on Megan and Rex, in contrast, highlights the connection between a Marine and her dog as they grow close and face grave danger. It’s a better story. There is action, and it’s fine, though it’s largely void of the visual effects in so many summer blockbusters these days. The importance of the action scenes, really, is to feel the tension as Megan and Rex are in life-or-death situations. Some moments are quite perilous. Others are downright nerve-racking and touching. The fact that any action scene connects on an emotional level is a win. In the simplest of terms, Megan Leavey is the story of a woman and her dog who save lives in Iraq. But as dog lovers will attest, Rex in many ways also saves Megan’s life by giving her purpose. In full disclosure, I do not count myself among dog lovers, but did once have a German Shepherd, so I related to Megan on a personal level. This movie is for anyone who’s ever bonded with an animal. Dan Hudak mail@folioweekly.com JUNE 7-13, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23
ARTS + EVENTS This musical comedy, THE NANCE, which chronicles burlesque’s raucous heyday, is staged June 8-25 at the Limelight Theatre in St. Augustine.
Rel rest hot in D RIV mo Mik ma Brid rive ART Bea p.m CON p.m Rd. drie ben WH Loc eve 354 clar
M
PERFORMANCE
CINDERELLA Rodgers & Hammerstein’s take on Cinderella, a classic “rags-to-riches” tale of a young woman’s journey from servitude to a new royal life is staged 7:30 p.m. June 13, 14 & 15; 8 p.m. June 16; 2 & 8 p.m. June 17; 1:30 & 7 p.m. June 18 at TimesUnion Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 Water St., Downtown, 442-2929, $38.50-$99.50, fscjartistseries.org. THE EXPLORERS CLUB Set in the late 19th century, this comedy about a club’s controversial decision to elect (gasp!) a female president, is staged 8 p.m. June 8, 9 & 10 at Amelia Community Theatre, 207/209 Cedar St., Fernandina, 261-6749, $22; $10 students; through June 24, ameliacommunitytheatre.org. THE NANCE The musical comedy, about the raucous Chauncey Miles and burlesque’s heyday, runs 7:30 p.m. June 8, 9 & 10; 2 p.m. June 11 at Limelight Theatre, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, 825-1164, $15; through June 25, limelight-theatre.org. STEEL MAGNOLIAS Alhambra Theatre & Dining presents its production of the tale about ladies who form close-knit bonds at a Louisiana hair salon, starring Dawn Wells (Mary Ann, Gilligan’s Island!), through June 25, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $38-$57 + tax, 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. SENTENCES As part of its New Voices series, Players By The Sea stages Drew L. Brown’s play, based on fact, about a Southern woman engulfed by the American penal system, 8 p.m. June 9-11; 15-17 at 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach, 249-0289, $23; $20 seniors/students/ military, playersbythesea.org.
CLASSICAL + JAZZ
ANNUAL SUMMER JAZZ SERIES The 13th annual series features The Sax Pack, Bob Baldwin and Clay Benjamin, 5-9 p.m. June 8, SeaWalk Pavilion, Jax Beach; bring blankets/chairs, jacksonvillebeach.org. ORGANISTS CONVENTION American Guild of Organists Jacksonville chapter holds its Southeast Regional Convention June 11-14 at St. John’s Cathedral, Jacoby Symphony Hall, St. Augustine’s Memorial Presbyterian Church and Cathedral-Basilica of St. Augustine. Featured organists: Jan Kraybill, Chelsea Chen, Raúl Prieto Ramírez, Jacksonville Children’s Choir, Christopher Houlihan, Andrew Clarke, Hymn Festival: “Lift Every Voice & Sing,” Laura Ellis, Timothy Tuller, Boyd Jones and Iain Quinn. $20/concert at the door; some are free, 706-766-5068, jaxago.org/2017regional-convention.html. TAYLOR ROBERTS The jazz guitarist plays 7-10 p.m. every Wed., Ocean 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060, ocean60.com. Roberts plays 4-9 p.m. Thur. at lobby bar; 6-10 p.m. Fri. & Sat., Salt Restaurant, both at Ritz-Carlton, 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., 277-1100, ritzcarlton.com.
COMEDY
FRED’S ALL-STAR COMEDIANS KWebb, Scott, others, 7:30 p.m. June 7; Patrick, Tommy, others, 7:30 p.m. June 14;, The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., 24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 7-13, 2017
Mandarin, 292-4242, $10, comedyzone.com. JOSH WOLF Comedian Wolf (Chelsea Lately, After Lately) appears 7:30 p.m. June 8; 7:30 & 9:45 p.m. June 9 & 10 at The Comedy Zone, Mandarin, 292-4242, $20, comedyzone.com. SHAUN JONES Comedian Jones (ComicView, Off the Chain) appears 8 p.m. June 8 at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-4277, $15-$35, jacksonvillecomedy.com. MARIO TROY Comic Troy (Steve Harvey Morning Show, 50 Comics Deep) appears 7:30 p.m. June 9 & 10 at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 646-4277, $15-$30, jacksonvillecomedy.com. A-Train Live: PETE LEE Local comedian A-Train hosts comic Lee (Premium Blend, Last Comic Standing) 8 p.m. June 9 at The Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 807-2010, $24, ritzjacksonville.com. DOMINIQUE Comic Dominique, (Black Jesus, Chappelle’s Show) is on 8 p.m. June 2 & 3; 7 p.m. June 4 at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 646-4277, $20-$50, jacksonvillecomedy.com. HOT POTATO COMEDY HOUR Chris Buck MCs local comics 9 p.m. every Mon., Rain Dogs., 1045 Park St., Riverside, free, 379-4969. SPLIFF’S OPEN MIC COMEDY The gastropub has open mic 9 p.m. every Tue., 15 Ocean St., Downtown, 844-5000. COMEDY UNCORKED Patrick Dalton MCs local, regional comics 7 p.m. every Wed., The Wine Bar, 320 N. First St., Jax Beach, 442-0755, thewinebaruncorked.com.
CALLS + WORKSHOPS
NEW TOWN URBAN FARM Urban Geoponics and New Town are developing a community garden at Pearce and West Third streets, in New Town/Edward Waters area, Northside, to provide fresh produce and a handson, open-air center of learning. Urban Farm meets 10 a.m.-1 p.m. every Sun. Details, call Diallo-Sekou, 706-284-9808. LIMELIGHT AUDITIONS The theater auditions (ages 18 and older) for The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, 2 p.m. June 3 (show dates July 21-Aug. 20), 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, 825-1164; details at limelight-theatre.org. VOLUNTEERS NEEDED A Classic Act Theatre needs volunteers for ushers, stage manager, concession workers, technical aides and more–any age, male or female. Details, email aclassictheatre@hotmail.com. FORT MOSE HISTORIC STATE PARK The state park seeks volunteers with skill sets and interests ranging from historical re-enactors, event coordinators and museum guides to gardeners–and someone with computer skills to work with the Historical Society administrative team. Details, 823-2232 or email vicki.tiseth@dep.state.fl.us.
ART WALKS + MARKETS
FIRST WEDNESDAY ART WALK The Downtown Art Walk, 5-9 p.m. June 7–themed 150 Bold - Bold City Brewery’s fourth annual Big John’s Apricot Wheat
BEA Blvd Atla Com CUM Ave eve Lou Am Leg Sha KAR Firs jaxf by R Ste MU Cir. Mot of r MU 333 edu sou Pro Iter
G
ARC Atla com Exh THE Lan tac An Prin disp BRE bre Will CoR cor Artw CRI Aug Col FIR Bea Ann JAC for Mar Jun LUF 620 exh Inca thro MA Lau org Abe Kra run RIT Dow The SOU Lau UNF sho SUB St., Bol Bla
S
h y, t .
ately)
0,
e of 277,
ow,
30,
77,
t.,
n,
ew e s ds-
,
18 ing 1 t
r .
g
S
Release Party–has more than 60 venues, live music, restaurants, galleries, museums, businesses and hotspots (some open after 9 p.m.), spanning 15 blocks in Downtown Jacksonville. iloveartwalk.com. RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Local, regional art, morning yoga 9 a.m., live music–Jesse Montoya, Mike Shackelford Band, Terrain–food and farmers market, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. June 10 under Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com. ARTRAGEOUS ART WALK Downtown Fernandina Beach galleries open for self-guided tours, 5:30-8:30 p.m. every second Sat., 277-0717, ameliaisland.com. CONSCIOUS MARKET Tastes and sips mingle, 7-11 p.m. every Sat. at Conscious Eats, 5913 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 5, Mandarin, 612-3934. Bring a donation of dried beans, rices, quinoas, other grains. Proceeds benefit Conscious Market/Character Counts programs. WHITE HARVEST FARMS & FARMER’S MARKET Local organic, fresh produce, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. every Sat., 5348 Moncrief Rd., Northside, 354-4162; proceeds benefit Clara White Mission, clarawhitemission.org.
MUSEUMS
BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY PARK 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657, beachesmuseum.org. Atlantic Beach: From the Continental to a Coastal Community through June 11. CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 29 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummermuseum.org. Free admission every first Sat. Poetry of Landscape: The Art of Eugène Louis Charvot (1847-1924), through Sept. 10; An American in Venice: James McNeill Whistler & His Legacy, through July 20. David Ponsler: Chasing Shadows, through Oct. 4. KARPELES MANUSCRIPT LIBRARY MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992, rain.org/~karpeles/ jaxfrm.html. Change & Permanence/Oils & Mixed Media by Robyn Andrews, through June 29. Robert Fulton: Steamboats & Submarines, through Aug. 29. MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY 1025 Museum Cir., Southbank, 396-6674, themosh.org. Dinosaurs in Motion, 14 magnificent, life-sized dinosaur sculptures of recycled metal, is on display. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911, mocajacksonville.unf. edu. Synthesize: Art + Music, works by contemporary sound-based artists, is on display through Sept. 24. Project Atrium: Lauren Fensterstock, through June 18. Iterations: Lorrie Fredette, through Sept. 10.
GALLERIES
ARCHWAY GALLERY & FRAMING 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-2222, archwaygalleryandframing. com. Jacksonville Coalition for Visual Arts Spring Exhibition through June 10. THE ART CENTER COOPERATIVE Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., 233-9252, tacjacksonville.org. An opening reception for An Artistic Reflection of the JASMYN Guiding Principles is 5:30-7 p.m. June 9; the exhibit displays through Aug. 4. BREW FIVE POINTS 1024 Park St., Riverside, 374-5789, brewfivepoints.com. An opening reception for Edison William’s exhibit Space is held 7-10 p.m. June 9. CoRK ARTS DISTRICT 2689 Rosselle St., Riverside, corkartsdistrict.com. Jeff Luque’s Girl with Flowers–the Artwork of Luque displays in East Gallery. CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530, flagler.edu/crispellert. Flagler College alumni display works through June 16. FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928, firststreetgalleryart.com. The 15th Annual Sea Turtle Show displays through July 4. JACK MITCHELL GALLERY Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts, 283 College Dr., Orange Park, 276-6750. Margaret Schnebly Hodge’s paintings display through June 20. LUFRANO INTERCULTURAL GALLERY 1 UNF Dr., 620-2475, unf.edu/gallery. Cathedral Arts Project exhibit, County Missives: Expressive Works by Incarcerated Juveniles Adjudicated as Adults, through June 30. MAKERSPACE GALLERY Main Library, 303 N. Laura St., Downtown, 630-2665, jaxpubliclibrary. org/jax-makerspace. Altered Objects, by Matthew Abercrombie, Mark Creegan, Crystal Floyd, Mark Krancer, Roosevelt Watson III and Elaine Wheeler, runs through July 23. RITZ THEATRE & MUSEUM 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 632-5555, ritzjacksonville.com. Dance Theatre of Harlem: 40 Years of Firsts, through July. SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY Bank of America Tower, 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 150, 438-4358, southlightgallery.com. UNF Summer Show displays through August. The co-op shows 20 local artists’ works. SUBLIME ORIGINAL GALLERY The DeLO, 420 Broad St., Downtown, 901-5515, sublimeoriginal.com. Bold and Brand New, works by John Beard and Holly Blanton, is on display.
STELLERS GALLERY AT PONTE VEDRA 240 A1A N., Ste. 13, 273-6065, stellersgallery.com. New works by Erin Gregory and Laura Lacambra Shubert display. UNION ART STUDIOS & GALLERY 700 E. Union St., Ste. 3B, Downtown, 334-324-1818, unionartstudios.com. The group show Resistance is on display. WILSON CENTER FOR THE ARTS FSCJ’s South Campus, 11901 Beach Blvd., Southside, tacjacksonville.org. TAC’s exhibit Going Beyond opens June 8.
EVENTS
SCOTT DELANEY BOOK SIGNING Delaney discusses and signs copies of his latest book, Tower Dog: Life Inside the Deadliest Job in America, 7 p.m. June 10 at The BookMark, 220 First St., Neptune Beach, 2419026, bookmarkbeach.com. RUN FOR THE PIES 5K The 39th annual Run for the Pies includes an open 5K, a championship (if you’ve hit certain 5K run times in the last year), live music, free beer, prize money, free shirts, finisher medal, raffle, a pie-eating contest and 200 peeps take home a pie! 7 p.m. (championship 5K) and 7:30 p.m. (Open 5K) June 10 at The Jacksonville Landing, $30 through June 9; $35 day of, register at 1stplacesports.com/races/pies. SISTER SWAP This public clothing swap for women in Duval County is 4 p.m. June 11 at Rain Dogs, 1045 Park St., Riverside, 379-4969; all leftovers donated to Clara White Mission, facebook/raindogsjax/events. ANN KIDD TAYLOR BOOK SIGNING Taylor discusses and signs copies of her latest book, Traveling with Pomegranates, 7 p.m. June 12 at The BookMark, Neptune Beach, 241-9026, bookmarkbeach.com. JUMBO SHRIMP VS. MONTGOMERY BISCUITS At press time, the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp are at 22-29–go to the stadium to support ’em! Our baseball badasses wrap up a homestand against the Montgomery Biscuits (27-24), (Mmmm–shrimp & biscuits!) 7:05 p.m. June 7 (Date Night) and June 8 (Teacher Appreciation, Mavericks Live Thirsty Thursday), Bragan Field, Baseball Grounds, Downtown, single game tix start at $9 (check website), 358-2846, jaxshrimp.com. Next up: Pensacola Blue Wahoos! __________________________________________ To list an event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price, contact number to print to Daniel A. Brown; email dbrown@folioweekly.com or mail 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Items run as space is available. Deadline noon Wed. for next Wed. printing.
FOR PETE’S SAKE
Local comedian A-Train presents an appearance by comedian PETE LEE (Premium Blend, Last Comic Standing), with a Q&A after Lee’s performance, June 9 at The Ritz Theatre & Museum in LaVilla.
JUNE 7-13, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25
FOLIO A+E : MUSIC
UP
BY HIS
BOOTSTRAPS Tracking the journey of Atlanta rapper T.I., from STREET-HUSTLER to one of America’s most OUTSPOKEN ARTISTS
T
hough OutKast is primarily responsible for catapulting Atlanta to the front of the hip-hop line in the ’90s, nobody’s done more since to tweak Dirty South form and structure than Clifford Joseph Harris Jr. More popularly known as T.I., this CEO of Grand Hustle Records and frontman of Pimp Squad Click injected mainstream rap with the ominous overtones of trap music, defined by its grimy 808 beats, double- and triple-time hi-hats, guttural kick drums and cinematic strings. Oh, and bleak, hyper-real lyrical content rooted in the violence, drug dealing and poverty that many African-Americans in today’s South could directly relate. Harris grew up in Atlanta’s hard-nosed Bankhead neighborhood, peddling candy in elementary school and crack cocaine in junior high. After several close calls with the law, however, he committed himself to the rap game. A major-label deal with Arista Records had him poised to become the next big thing in 2001, when his first song, “I’m Serious,” and its big-budget video debuted. The single sold poorly, and Arista quickly pulled its support. T.I. and his crew doubled down, though, selling mixtapes out of the proverbial trunk while focusing on the Southeastern market: “Our video wasn’t playing, and we only had radio in the Southeast market, so you work those five cities to death,” he told The New York Times in 2005. “We went everywhere in the South, from Atlanta to Macon to Augusta to Columbia to Jacksonville.” Next, T.I. shrewdly talked Atlantic Records into giving him a joint venture deal—complete creative control for the artist, his own label imprint, and all revenue split 50-50. With his defining single “Rubber Band Man” pumping through speakers across the nation, T.I. rode the new trap craze to stardom alongside other Southern artists like Lil Wayne, Young Jeezy and Gucci Mane. T.I. quickly put all his profit back into a diversification of business interests—by 2005, when his fourth album King had the best-selling first week of the year and his film ATL opened at No. 3 at the box office, T.I. had also invested in a construction business, an 26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 7-13, 2017
automotive shop and a nightclub in Atlanta. As the self-dubbed “King of the South” was fond of saying at the time, he wanted “to get a piece of everything that’s making money.” After that, not even the sky seemed to be the limit. Over the next decade, T.I. racked up five Billboard-charting albums, three Grammy awards, platinum-selling collaborations with Robin Thicke, Rihanna, Justin Timberlake and Iggy Azalea. And 2007’s T.I. vs. T.I.P. and ’08’s Paper Trail both debuted at the top of the Billboard charts, while ’10’s No Mercy hit No. 4. All three albums were overshadowed, however, by numerous legal troubles: Four hours before the 2007 BET Hip-Hop Awards, T.I. was arrested on federal weapons charges, and he spent most of ’09 in federal prison. In 2010, he and his fiancée were arrested on drug charges, and on that Nov. 1 he reported back to the same correctional facility in Arkansas for another 11-month sentence. After that, it seemed T.I. had finally gone completely straight. He inked a deal with VH1 to produce a reality show about his readjustment to regular life, and he penned the novel Power & Beauty: A Love Story of Life on the Streets. In 2012, he introduced Australian rapper Iggy Azalea to the world via a deal with his Grand Hustle Records label, and his ’12 album Trouble Man, named
T.I. PRESENTS: THE HUSTLE GANG TOUR
9 p.m. June 11, Mavericks Live, Downtown, $50-$299, mavericksatthelanding.com
after a classic Marvin Gaye lyric, featured collaborations with a who’s-who of rap superstars like Andre 3000, Cee-Lo Green, Lil Wayne and Kendrick Lamar. In ’13, he did cameos on songs by Brittany Spears and Lady Gaga, and in ’14, his single “New National Anthem” served as a flashpoint in the wake of racial unrest in Ferguson, Missouri. After dropping one album with Columbia Records, he signed on with Jay-Z’s Roc Nation behemoth, joining Jay, Beyoncé
and other megastars as one of the owners of streaming service TIDAL. The ’16 EP Us or Else and complementary full-length Letter to the System represented T.I.’s most vociferous claims to being a true American icon, speaking up for the Black Lives Matter movement and directly addressing racism and social injustice for the first time in his long, illustrious career. T.I. felt he had gained enough fame to reassert his claim to his original nickname, Tip, which Arista Records executives convinced him to change back in 2000 to avoid confusion with legendary MC Q-Tip of A Tribe Called Quest. “As a rogue artist busting creativity and blessed to control my destiny, this is a perfect time to be able to call myself what I’ve always been known as,” he told MTV News in October 2015. “Being called T.I. is very weird. It’s kinda awkward to be famous for a name that you’ve never been called before in your life. If you want me to know that you don’t know me, call me T.I. It’s the weirdest, most awkward thing.” Last year, the murder of T.I.’s personal bodyguard just before the rapper took the stage in New York City dominated the headlines—especially once it was revealed that the incident occurred because of a very public feud between podcast host Taxstone and the rapper Troy Ave. That dredged up memories of T.I.’s famous beefs with rappers like Ludacris, Lil Flip and Shawty Lo, and threatened to overshadow his evolution into one of the hip-hop world’s most thoughtful artists and outspoken advocates. In January, he released an open letter to President Barack Obama, thanking him for “galvanizing a generation” and “resonating from the barbershops to the airwaves to the streets of every hood across America.” As T.I. told The New York Times, “Obama opened the door to show it can happen, it can be done, your efforts can be paid off in a very, very large capacity as long as you continue to work and educate yourself and take the necessary steps. That’s immeasurable.” Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly.com
San Francisco-based DJ-Musician MARK FARINA, renowned for mixing jazz, downtempo, house music and his self-created style called Mushroom Jazz, spins out June 10 at Myth Nightclub, Downtown.
LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK
Music by the Sea: THE COMMITTEE 6 p.m. June 7, St. Johns County Pier Park, St. Augustine, free, thecivicassociation.org. SPADE McQUADE 6 p.m. June 7, Fionn MacCool’s Irish Pub, Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247. WATER SEED, SOULO LYON, BE EASY, RESONATOR 7 p.m. June 7, 1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St., Downtown. CAPSTAN 8 p.m. June 7, Nighthawks, 2952 Roosevelt Blvd., Riverside. MATT STILL 9 p.m. June 7, Surfer the Bar, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 372-9756. BLACKWATER GREASE, BONNIE BLUE, BIGFOOT BAREFOOT, BEAR TOE 8 p.m. June 8, 1904 Music Hall, $8 advance; $10 day of. ZOSO (Led Zeppelin tribute) 8 p.m. June 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., 209-0399, $28 advanced (SRO); $30 day of. KILLING GRACE, HANGMAN’S CROWN, SILENT SERMON 8 p.m. June 8, Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $8. FLOSSIE & the FOX, ZIGTEBRA, HONEY CHAMBER, DORIAN NINS 8 p.m. June 8, Shantytown Pub, 22 W. Sixth St., Springfield, 798-8222. The MURDER JUNKIES, POWERBALL, DEATH WATCH ’97, GROSS EVOLUTION 8 p.m. June 8, Nighthawks, 2952 Roosevelt Blvd., Riverside, 384-9929, $10 advance; $12 door. 3 the BAND 9 p.m. June 8, Flying Iguana Taqueria & Tequila Bar, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680. LOVECHUNK 9 p.m. June 8, Surfer the Bar. LONESOME RIDE 7:30 p.m. June 9, Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., St. Nicholas, 352-7008, $10. PRO BONO 8 p.m. June 9, Whiskey Jax, 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy., Jax Beach, 853-5973. FOUR BARREL BAND 8 p.m. June 9, Jack Rabbits, $8. MIKE SICK 8 p.m. June 9, Rain Dogs. LE ORCHID, A VIBRANT LYE, JESSE MONTOYA 8 p.m. June 9, 1904 Music Hall, $8 advance; $10 day of. EDENFIELD, FERNWAY, FALL UPON FATE, FAT SUN 8 p.m. June 9, Nighthawks. LEISURE CHIEF 9:30 p.m. June 9, Surfer the Bar. FAT CACTUS 9:30 p.m. June 9, Whiskey Jax, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Southside, 634-7208. RUNNING RAMPANT, FRIENDLY FIRE 10 p.m. June 9, The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 264-0611, $3 advance; $5 day of. GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE 10 p.m. June 9, Mojo Kitchen, 1500 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 247-6636, $10. THE YOUNG STEP, THE WILLOWWACKS 10 p.m. June 9, Prohibition Kitchen, 119 St. George St., St. Augustine, 209-5704. Riverside Arts Market: Morning Yoga 9 a.m., JESSE MONTOYA, MIKE SHACKELFORD BAND, TERRAIN 10:30 a.m. June 10, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449. DIRTY HEADS, SOJA, The GREEN 6:30 p.m. June 10, St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., 209-0367, $34-$54. HAYLEY KIYOKO, SWEATER BEATS 8 p.m. June 10, Jack Rabbits, $15. HUNSON ABADEER, CHROME FANGS, CRACKED DAGGER 8 p.m. June 10, Nighthawks. TEARS for FEARS 8 p.m. June 10, Daily’s Place, Downtown, 633-2000, $30-$295.
BISHOP 8 p.m. June 10, Rain Dogs. TRAVERS BROTHERSHIP 9:30 p.m. June 10, Surfer the Bar. 7th ENTRY 9:30 p.m. June 10, Whiskey Jax, Southside. BREAK EVN BAND 9:30 p.m. June 9, Whiskey Jax, Jax Beach. ELITE 10 p.m. June 10, The Roadhouse, $3 advance; $5 day of. RADIOLOVE 10 p.m. June 10, Prohibition Kitchen. SPLIT TONE 4 p.m. June 11, Surfer the Bar. Happy Together Tour: FLO & EDDIE (The Turtles), CHUCK NEGRON, The ASSOCIATION, The BOX TOPS, The COWSILLS, RON DANTE 7:30 p.m. June 11, The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $35-$75. THIRD EYE BLIND, SILVERSUN PICKUPS 8 p.m. June 11, Daily’s Place, $26-$71.95. T.I. 9 p.m. June 11, Mavericks Live, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 356-1111, $50-$299. REEL BIG FISH, The EXPENDABLES, The QUEERS, TUNNEL VISION 6 p.m. June 12, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Backyard Stage, $34.50 advance (SRO); $35 day of. KEVIN GARRETT 7 p.m. June 13, Jack Rabbits, $15. AARON LEBOS REALITY 7 p.m. June 13, Surfer the Bar. ENFOLD the DARKNESS, INVOKING the ABSTRACT, AUTOMATIK FIT 7 p.m. June 14, Jack Rabbits, $8. OMARI BANKS 9 p.m. June 14, Surfer the Bar. ELVIS-BRAD ROUSE, WEST KING STRING BAND 10:30 p.m. June 14, Shanghai Nobby’s, 10 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 547-2188.
UPCOMING CONCERTS
The GIPSY KINGS June 15, St. Augustine Amphitheatre EVAN TAYLOR JONES June 15, Surfer the Bar TIG NOTARO June 15, P.V. Concert Hall NONEED June 16, The Roadhouse SEAN CHAMBERS June 16, Mojo Kitchen DAVE MASON June 16, P.V. Concert Hall THE GEORGIA FLOOD June 16, Surfer the Bar SHOTGUN SHANE, AROUND the BONFIRE, BIG MURPH June 17, Jack Rabbits SAVANNA LEIGH BASSETT, The WILLOWWACKS, MOON STALKER June 17, Riverside Arts Market Great Atlantic Country Music Fest: JONATHAN LEE, ADAM CRAIG, LUKE COMBS, BILLY GLISSON, BRETT MYERS, TOBACCO ROAD BAND June 17, Sea Walk Pavilion SPLIT TONE June 18, Surfer the Bar TOM BENNETT BAND June 20, Surfer the Bar SOULO June 21, Surfer the Bar SLIGHTLY STOOPID, IRATION, J BOOG, The MOVEMENT June 22, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ANTON LaPLUME BAND June 22, Surfer the Bar MORNING FATTY June 23, Surfer the Bar AL POINDEXTER, DECOY, THREE HEARTS DANCE June 24, Riverside Arts Market BREATHING THEORY, ASKMEIFICARE, NOSELF June 24, The Roadhouse Sad Clowns & Hillbillies: JOHN MELLENCAMP, EMMYLOU HARRIS, CARLENE CARTER, LILY & MADELEINE June 24, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DEFTONES, RISE AGAINST June 24, Daily’s Place ROW JOMAH June 24, Surfer the Bar ALLIE KELLY, ELLA ROMAINE June 25, Music in the Box, Limelight Theatre PAUL BYROM June 25, Culhane’s
SPLIT TONE June 25, Surfer the Bar VESPERTEEN, DBMK, FAZE WAVE June 26, Jack Rabbits ALEJANDRO ESCOVEDO & the BURN SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL BAND June 27, P.V. Concert Hall BARRY GREENE BAND June 27, Surfer the Bar DIANA ROSS June 28, Daily’s Place TAD JENNINGS June 28, Surfer the Bar TRAIL DRIVER June 29, Surfer the Bar SUMMER SURVIVOR June 30, Surfer the Bar DAN TDM June 30, Daily’s Place CHICAGO, The BAND, The DOOBIE BROTHERS July 1, Daily’s Place COREY SMITH July 1, Mavericks Live PROPAGANJAH July 1, The Roadhouse BECOMING HUMAN July 2, Jack Rabbits DIGDOG, HIVEHEAD, TEEN DIVORCE July 4, Nighthawks DWARVES, RICHIE RAMONE July 5, 1904 Music Hall RICK ROSS, K. MICHELLE July 8, T-U Center INCUBUS, JIMMY EAT WORLD, JUDAH & The LION July 10, Daily’s Place TED NUGENT July 13, Florida Theatre DIERKS BENTLEY, COLE SWINDELL, JON PARDI July 13, Daily’s Place PURE PRAIRIE LEAGUE, FIREFALL, ORLEANS July 14, Florida Theatre PUDDLES PITY PARTY LIVE July 14, P.V. Concert Hall STYX, REO SPEEDWAGON, DON FELDER July 20, Daily’s Place SLAYER, LAMB of GOD, BEHEMOTH July 21, St. Augustine Amphitheatre TAKING BACK SUNDAY, MODERN CHEMISTRY July 22, Jack Rabbits MEEK MILL, YO GOTTI July 22, Daily’s Place JASON ISBELL & The 400 UNIT, STRAND of OAKS July 22, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JOURNEY, ASIA July 26, Daily’s Place LADY ANTEBELLUM, KELSEA BALLERINI, BRETT YOUNG July 27, Daily’s Place REBELUTION, NAKHO, MEDICINE for the PEOPLE, COLLIE BUDZ, HIRIE, DJ MACKLE July 30, St. Augustine Amphitheatre BRITTANI MUELLER July 30, Music in the Box, Limelight Theatre 311, NEW POLITICS, PASSAFIRE Aug. 2, St. Augustine Amphitheatre POSTMODERN JUKEBOX, STRAIGHT NO CHASER Aug. 2, Daily’s Place SABRINA CARPENTER, ALEX AONO, NEW HOPE CLUB Aug. 2, Florida Theatre FOREIGNER, CHEAP TRICK, JASON BONHAM’S LED ZEPPELIN EXPERIENCE Aug. 3, Daily’s Place NEW MANTRA, THETWOTAKES Aug. 8, Jack Rabbits The AUSTRALIAN PINK FLOYD SHOW Aug. 9, Florida Theatre DONALD FAGEN & the NIGHTFLYERS Aug. 12, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MORRIS DAY & the TIME, RUDE BOYS, LAKESIDE, READY for the WORLD, TROOP, ADINA HOWARD Aug. 12, Morocco Shrine Auditorium JASON ALDEAN, CHRIS YOUNG, KANE BROWN, DEEJAY SILVER Aug. 17, Veterans Memorial Arena MATCHBOX TWENTY, COUNTING CROWS Aug. 19, Daily’s Place MARY J. BLIGE Aug. 23, Daily’s Place
JUNE 7-13, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27
LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC PETER WHITE, EUGE GROOVE Aug. 23, P.V. Concert Hall LEE HUNTER, JOEY KERR Aug. 27, Music in the Box, Limelight Theatre LIFEHOUSE, SWITCHFOOT Aug. 27, Daily’s Place GOO GOO DOLLS, PHILLIP PHILLIPS Sept. 2, Daily’s Place PARAMORE Sept. 6, T-U Center BLACKBERRY SMOKE, The CHRIS ROBINSON BROTHERHOOD Sept. 8, St. Augustine Amphitheatre BRYAN ADAMS Sept. 9, Daily’s Place ADAM ANT Sept. 10, Florida Theatre MARSHALL TUCKER BAND Sept. 14, Florida Theatre WIDESPREAD PANIC Sept. 15-17, St. Augustine Amphitheatre TIM McGRAW & FAITH HILL Sept. 16, Veterans Memorial Arena RAUL MIDON Sept. 16, Ritz Theatre SAMMY HAGAR & the CIRCLE (Michael Anthony, Jason Bonham, Vic Johnson), COLLECTIVE SOUL Sept. 20, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ZAC BROWN BAND Sept. 21, Daily’s Place UB40 LEGENDS ALI, ASTRO & MICKEY Sept. 21, St. Augustine Amphitheatre YOUNG the GIANT, COLD WAR KIDS, JOYWAVE Sept. 22, Daily’s Place BROADWAY BOYS Sept. 22, Ritz Theatre LAURYN HILL, NAS, CHRONIXX Sept. 23, Daily’s Place ANCIENT CITY SLICKERS Sept. 24, Music in the Box, Limelight Theatre BRIAN REGAN Sept. 24, Florida Theatre KATIE THIROUIX Sept. 24, Ritz Theatre TERRI CLARK Sept. 27, P.V. Concert Hall TROMBONE SHORTY & ORLEANS AVENUE Oct. 1, P.V. Concert Hall JUDAH & The LION Oct. 10, Mavericks Live The Smooth Tour: FLORIDA GEORGIA LINE, NELLY, CHRIS LANE Oct. 12, Veterans Memorial Arena DAVINA SOWERS & the VEGABONDS Oct. 12, Ritz Theatre Once a Month Punk: SCATTER BRAINS, LOOSE BEARINGS Oct. 19, Blue Water Daiquiri & Oyster Bar TEMPTATIONS, FOUR TOPS Oct. 20, Florida Theatre SPOON Oct. 21, Mavericks Live KINGS of LEON, DAWES Oct. 25, Daily’s Place BROADWAY’S NEXT HIT MUSICAL Oct. 25, Ritz Theatre MICHAEL LAGASSE & FRIENDS Oct. 29, Music in the Box, Limelight Theatre JOHNNYSWIM Nov. 1, P.V. Concert Hall JOHN CLEESE (screens Monty Python & the Holy Grail) Nov. 4, Florida Theatre SISTER HAZEL Nov. 4, P.V. Concert Hall JETHRO TULL Nov. 7, Daily’s Place NOBUTU Nov. 7, Ritz Theatre
SoCal ska punks REEL BIG FISH (pictured) perform with The EXPENDABLES, The QUEERS and TUNNEL VISION June 12 at St. Augustine Amphitheatre’s Backyard Stage. CHRIS STAPLETON’S All American Road Show: MARTY STUART, BRENT COBB Nov. 11, Veterans Memorial Arena JOHN McLAUGHLIN, JIMMY HERRING (play Mahavisnu Orchestra) Nov. 24, Florida Theatre KANSAS Dec. 2, Florida Theatre JANET JACKSON Dec. 12, Veterans Memorial Arena JOHN PRINE Dec. 13, Florida Theatre GABRIEL IGLESIAS Dec. 21, Florida Theatre A TEMPTATIONS REVUE, BO HENDERSON Jan. 13, Ritz Theatre MARY WILSON (The Supremes) Feb. 3, Ritz Theatre The LANGSTON HUGHES PROJECT Feb. 10, Ritz Theatre The HOT SARDINES Feb. 13, Florida Theatre PAULA POUNDSTONE Feb. 16, Florida Theatre GEORGE WINSTON Feb. 23, P.V. Concert Hall TIERNEY SUTTON BAND March 4, Ritz Theatre BRUCE COCKBURN April 19, P.V. Concert Hall BLACK JACKET SYMPHONY: Sgt. Pepper’s 50th Anniversary Tour April 27, P.V. Concert Hall
LIVE MUSIC CLUBS
AMELIA ISLAND + FERNANDINA ALLEY CAT BEER HOUSE, 316 Centre St., 491-1001 Amy Basse every Fri. Dan Voll 6:30 p.m. every Wed. John Springer every Thur. & Sat.
LA MANCHA, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646 Miguel Paley 5:30-9 p.m. every Fri.-Sun. Javier Parez every Sun. SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652 Pili Pili 6 p.m. June 7. Tad Jennings 6 p.m. June 8. The Firewater Tent Revival 7 p.m. June 9. Chase Foraker, Michael & the Ambiguous, Davis Turner June 10. Mark O’Quinn, JC & Mike June 11. Savannah Bassett June 12. Mark O’Quinn June 13 SURF RESTAURANT, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Katfish Lee 1 p.m. June 7. Katfish Lee 1 p.m., Bush Doctors 6 p.m. June 8. Dust to Dust 3 p.m. June 9. Whiskey Heart June 10. Jimmy Beats 4:30 p.m. June 12
AVONDALE + ORTEGA
CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. Jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free 9 p.m. Tue. & Thur. Indie dance 9 p.m. Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance Fri. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200 Live music every Thur.-Sat.
THE BEACHES (All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted)
BLUE WATER DAIQUIRI & OYSTER BAR, 205 First St. N., 249-0083 Live music most weekends BRASS ANCHOR PUB, 2292 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0301 Joe Oliff 8 p.m. June 7. Ocean Disco June 9. Live music on weekends CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 249-9595 DJ Heather every Wed. DJ Jerry every Thur. DJ Hal every Fri. & Sat. Michael Funge 6:30 p.m. every Sun. FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & TEQUILA BAR, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680 3 the Band 9 p.m. June 8. Live music 10 p.m. June 9 & 10. Darren Corlew June 11 FLY’S TIE IRISH PUB, 177 Sailfish Dr., Atlantic Beach, 246-4293 Uproot Hootenanny 10 p.m. June 9 GREEN ROOM BREWING, 228 Third St. N., 201-9283 DiCarlo Thompson June 10. Chris Turner June 11 GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925 Groov 7:30 p.m. every Wed. Michael Smith every Thur. Milton Clapp every Fri. Under the Bus every Sat. Robert Eccles 6 p.m. every Sun. LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 First St. N., 249-5181 Shoeless Girl 10 p.m. June 9. Roshamneaux 10 p.m. June 10 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 Third St. N., 241-5600 Lunar Coast 9 p.m. June 8 MEZZA RESTAURANT & BAR, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573 Gypsies Ginger every Wed. Mike Shackelford, Steve Shanholtzer every Thur. Mezza Shuffle every Mon. Trevor Tanner every Tue. MOJO KITCHEN, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636 Grandpa’s Cough Medicine 10 p.m. June 9. Sean Chambers 10 p.m. June 16 OCEAN 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., AB, 247-0060 Taylor Roberts 7 p.m. June 7. RadioLove June 10 RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877 Live music every Wed.-Sun. SOUTHERN GROUNDS & CO., 200 First St., NB, 249-2922 Lauren Finchman 7 p.m. June 9. Jimmy Mitchell 7 p.m. June 10. Jazz Corner 6 p.m. every Tue. SURFER THE BAR, 200 First St. N., 372-9756 Matt Still 9 p.m. June 7. Lovechunk 9 p.m. June 8. Leisure Chief 9:30 p.m. June 9. Travers Brothership 9:30 p.m. June 10. Split Tone June 11. Aaron Lebos Reality 7 p.m. June 13. Omari Banks 9 p.m. June 14 WHISKEY JAX, 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy., 853-5973 Perry Phillips Collective June 8. Pro Bono 8 p.m. June 9. Break Evn Band 9:30 p.m. June 10. Jerry Maniscalco, Soulshine, Reggae SWAT Team 9:30 p.m. June 11. Blues Club every Tue.
CAMDEN COUNTY, GA.
CAPTAIN STAN’S Smokehouse, 700 Bedell Dr., Woodbine, 912-729-9552 Eddie Pickett June 7 & 14. Jamie Rene & the Walkers June 9. Sole Travelers June 10. Live music every weekend J’S TAVERN, 711 Osborne St., St. Marys, 912-882-5280 Live music most weekends
DOWNTOWN 28 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 7-13, 2017
1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N., 345-5760 Water Seed, Soulo Lyon, The Band Be Easy, Resonator 7 p.m. June 7.
LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC Blackwater Grease, Bonnie Blue, Bigfootbarefoot, Bear Toe 8 p.m. June 8. Le Orchid, A Vibrant Lye, Jesse Montoya 8 p.m. June 9. Second Subject, Kidd Steeze 8 p.m. June 10 DE REAL TING, 128 W. Adams St., 633-9738 Ras AJ, De Lions of Jah 7 p.m. June 9 DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 DJ Brandon every Thur. DJ NickFresh every Sat. DJ Randall every Mon. DJ Hollywood every Tue. FIONN MacCOOL’S, Jacksonville Landing, 374-1247 Spade McQuade 6 p.m. June 7. Ace Winn 8 p.m. June 10. Live music most weekends HOURGLASS PUB, 345 E. Bay St., 469-1719 Man Darino, Lurk City June 7. Open mic every Sun. JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 Makin Sum Noise June 7. Cindy Davenport, Highway Jones June 8. Jay Garrett Band, Rick Arcusa Band June 9. Austin Park June 10. 418 Band June 11 MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Shotgun 10 p.m. every Sat. MAVERICKS LIVE, Jax Landing, 356-1110 Jacob Bryant & JB Crockett 9 p.m. June 9. Blake Mincey June 10. T.I. 9 p.m. June 11. Craig Campbell June 15. Joe Buck, DJ Justin every Thur.-Sat. MYTH NIGHTCLUB, 333 E. Bay St., 707-0474 Mark Farina 8 p.m. June 10. The Katz Downstairz June 15. DJ Law, Artik, Killoala, D2tay every Wed. DJs for Latin Nite every Sat.
FLEMING ISLAND
BOONDOCKS GRILL & BAR, 2808 Henley Rd., Green Cove, 406-9497 Marty Farmer June 7. Alex Affronti 6 p.m. June 8. Mark Johns, 13th Step Band June 9. Lee Blake, Jonathan Lee June 10. Jim Lamb June 11. Dwayne McGregor June 13. Ivan Smith 6 p.m. June 14. Mark Evans June 15 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999 Kurt Lanham 8:30 p.m. June 8. Neverland 8:30 p.m. June 10 WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Smooth McFlea 9 p.m. June 10. Conch Fritters June 11
INTRACOASTAL
CLIFF’S Bar & Grill, 3033 Monument Rd., Ste. 2, 645-5162 Side Hustle June 7. No Saints June 9. Party Cartel June 10. Live music every weekend. Open mic every Tue. JERRY’S Sports Bar & Grille, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766 Party Cartel 7:30 p.m. June 9. Mr. Natural June 10
MANDARIN
ENZA’S, 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 109, 268-4458 Brian Iannucci June 7 & June 11 TAPS BAR & GRILL, 2220 C.R. 210, St. Johns, 819-1554 Live music every weekend
ORANGE PARK + MIDDLEBURG
BIG DAWGS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 135, 272-4204 Billy Bowers 5 p.m. June 7 DEE’S MUSIC BAR, 2141 Loch Rane Blvd., Ste. 140, 375-2240 DJ Tammy June 7. Big Engine June 9. Uncle Mojo’s Padded Room 9 p.m. June 10 THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael on the piano every Tue.-Sat. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999 Live music every Fri. & Sat. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 DJ Big Mike June 8. Running Rampant, Friendly Fire 10 p.m. June 9. Elite 10 p.m. June 10. Noneed June 16. Live music every weekend SHARK CLUB, 714 Park Ave., 215-1557 Digital Skyline 9 p.m. June 7. Tom Bennett Band 9 p.m. June 8
PONTE VEDRA
PUSSER’S GRILLE, 816 A1A, 280-7766 Tad Jennings June 7. Ramona Quimby June 8. Ryan Campbell June 9. Danka June 10. Sam McDonald 7 p.m. June 11. Live music every Fri. & Sat. TABLE 1, 330 A1A N., 280-5515 Billy Bowers 6 p.m. June 14
RIVERSIDE + WESTSIDE
ACROSS THE STREET, 948 Edgewood Ave. S., 683-4182 Live music most weekends HOBNOB, 220 Riverside Ave., Ste. 10, 513-4272 Live music every Fri.
HOPTINGER BIER GARDEN & SAUSAGE HOUSE, 1037 Park St., 903-4112 NW Izzard 10 p.m. June 9 NIGHTHAWKS, 2952 Roosevelt Blvd. Capstan 8 p.m. June 7. Murder Junkies, Mighty Powerball June 8. Maiden Name, Fernway, Edenfield, Fall Upon, Fat Sun 8 p.m. June 9. Hunson Abadeer, Chrome Fangs, Cracked Dagger June 10. Enfold Darkness, Invoking the Abstract June 14 RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969 Murder Junkies, Powerball, Death Watch ’97, Gross Evolution 8 p.m. June 8. Mike Sick June 9. Bishop 8 p.m. June 10 RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449 Jesse Montoya, Mike Shackelford Band, Terrain 10:30 a.m. June 10. Savanna Leigh Bassett, The WillowWacks, Moon Stalker 10:30 a.m. June 17 SOUTH KITCHEN & SPIRITS, 3638 Park St., 475-2362 Live music most weekends
ST. AUGUSTINE
CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 Tony Scozzaro June 8. TJ Brown, Chillula June 9. Evan D, Billy Buchanan & Free Avenue June 10. Vinny Jacobs 2 p.m. June 11 DOS COFFEE & WINE, 300 San Marco Ave., 342-2421 Live music every weekend MARDI GRAS, 123 San Marco Ave., 823-8806 Fre Gordon, acoustic open mic 7 p.m. Sun. Justin Gurnsey, Musicians Exchange 8 p.m. Mon. PLANET SARBEZ, 115 Anastasia Blvd., 342-0632 Live music every weekend PROHIBITION KITCHEN, 119 St. George St., 209-5704 The Young Step, The WillowWacks 10 p.m. June 9. RadioLove 10 p.m. June 10 SHANGHAI NOBBY’S, 10 Anastasia Blvd., 547-2188 ElvisBrad Rouse, West King String Band 10:30 p.m. June 14 TEMPO, 16 Cathedral Pl., 342-0286 Kenyon Dye 7 p.m. June 8. Michael Jordan June 9. Jazzy Blue, Howard Post June 10. Jax English Salsa Band 6 p.m. June 11. Bluez Dudez 7:30 p.m. June 12 TRADEWINDS LOUNGE, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Those Guys 9 p.m. June 9 & 10. The Down Low every Wed.
SAN MARCO
JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Killing Grace, Hangman’s Crown, Silent Sermon 8 p.m. June 8. Four Barrel Band 8 p.m. June 9. Hayley Kiyoko, Sweater Beats 8 p.m. June 10. Kevin Garrett 7 p.m. June 13. Enfold The Darkness, Invoking The Abstract, Automatik Fit 7 p.m. June 14. Shotgun Shane, Around The Bonfire, Big Murph 8 p.m. June 17 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Lonesome Ride 7:30 p.m. June 9
SOUTHSIDE, ARLINGTON & BAYMEADOWS
CORNER BISTRO & WINE BAR, 9823 Tapestry Park Cir., 619-1931 Matthew Hall 8 p.m. every Thur.-Sat. GREEK STREET Café, 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 503-0620 Tavernalive 6 p.m. every Mon. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 997-1955 Barrett Jockers June 8. Anton LaPlume June 9. Kristen Lee June 10 WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., 634-7208 Fat Cactus 9:30 p.m. June 9. 7th Street 9:30 p.m. June 10. Live acoustic every Wed. Melissa Smith every Thur.
SPRINGFIELD + NORTHSIDE
CROOKED ROOSTER BREWERY, 148 S. Sixth St., Macclenny, 653-2337 East Tower Band 8 p.m. June 10. Open mic 7 p.m. every Wed. FLIGHT 747 LOUNGE, 1500 Airport Rd., 741-4331 Live music every weekend MELLOW MUSHROOM, 15170 Max Leggett Pkwy., 757-8843 Live music most every weekend SHANTYTOWN PUB, 22 W. Sixth, 798-8222 Flossie & The Fox, Zigtebra, Honey Chamber, Dorian Nins 8 p.m. June 8
_________________________________________ To list your band’s gig, please send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price, and a contact number to print to Daniel A. Brown, email dbrown@folioweekly.com or by the U.S. Postal Service, 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Events run on a space-available basis. Deadline is at noon every Wednesday for the next Wednesday’s publication.
Taking a rare break from their shared passion of rebinding bibles, sleazoid punks The MURDER JUNKIES (pictured) perform with fellow faith-based derelicts POWERBALL, DEATH WATCH ’97 and GROSS EVOLUTION June 8 at Nighthawks, Riverside. JUNE 7-13, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 29
FOLIO DINING At TEQUILAS MEXICAN RESTAURANT on Baymeadows Road, you’ll find a full bar and full menu ranging from appetizers to desserts.
photo by Dennis Ho
AMELIA ISLAND + FERNANDINA BEACH
THE AMELIA TAVERN, 318 Centre St., 310-6088, theameliatavern.com. Contemporary hand-crafted, locally sourced comfort fare: local shrimp, small/big plates, organic greens, sandwiches. $$ FB TO D M; L & D Tu-Sa; Brunch Su. BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F On the water at Centre Street’s end. Southern hospitality, upscale atmosphere; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo.com. F In historic building, family-owned café has worldly fare, made-from-scratch dressings, sauces, desserts, sourcing fresh greens, veggies, seafood. Dine in or al fresco under oak-shaded patio. Microbrew Karibrew Pub has beer brewed onsite, imports. $$ FB K TO R, Su; L Daily, D Tu-Su in season THE CRAB TRAP, 31 N. Second St., 261-4749, ameliacrabtrap.com. F Nearly 40 years, family-ownedand-operated. Fresh local seafood, steaks, specials. HH. $$ FB L D Daily JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddianescafe.com. F Renovated 1887 shotgun house. Faves: jambalaya, French toast, pancakes, mac & cheese, crêpes. Vegan items. Inside or porch overlooking historic area. $$ BW K TO B L D Daily LA MANCHA, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646. Spanish, Portuguese fare, Brazilian flair. Tapas, seafood, steaks, sangria. Drink specials. AYCE paella Sun. $$$ FB K TO D Nightly LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 474272 S.R. 200, 844-2225. F SEE ORANGE PARK. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moonriverpizza.net. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Authentic Northern-style pizzas, 20+ toppings, pie/slice. Calzones. $ BW TO L D M-Sa THE MUSTARD SEED CAFÉ, 833 Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Casual organic eatery, juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juices, herbal teas, coffees, daily specials. $$ K TO B L M-Sa
DINING DIRECTORY KEY AVERAGE ENTRÉE COST $ $$
$
< $10
$$$
10- $20
$$$$
$
20-$35 > $35
ABBREVIATIONS & SPECIAL NOTES BW = Beer/Wine
L = Lunch
FB = Full Bar
D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted Free Folio Weekly Bite Club Event F = Folio Weekly Distribution Spot
K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch
To list your restaurant, call your account manager or call or text SAM TAYLOR, Folio Weekly publisher, at 904-860-2465 (email: staylor@folioweekly.com). 30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 7-13, 2017
THE PATIO PLACE, 416 Ash St., 410-3717, patioplacebistro.com. Bistro/wine bar/crêperie’s global menu uses crêpes: starters, entrées, shareables, desserts. $$ BW TO B L D Tu-Su POINTE RESTAURANT, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabethpointelodge.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. In award-winning inn Elizabeth Pointe Lodge. Seaside dining; in or out. Hot buffet breakfast daily, full lunch menu. Homestyle soups, specialty sandwiches, desserts. $$$ BW K B L D Daily THE SALTY PELICAN BAR & GRILL, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. 2nd-story outdoor bar. T.J. & Al offer local seafood, fish tacos, Mayport shrimp, po’boys, cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Oceanfront. Award-winning handmade crabcakes, fried pickles, fresh seafood. Open-air 2nd floor balcony, playground. $$ FB K L D Daily THE SURF RESTAURANT & BAR, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711, thesurfonline.com. Oceanview dining since 1957, inside or on the deck. Steaks, seafood, burgers, daily food and drink specials; Wing It Wednesdays. $$ FB K TO L D Daily T-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. Eighth St., 261-6310. F Family-owned-and-operated 18+ years. Blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L M-Sa
ARLINGTON + REGENCY
LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1301 Monument Rd., Ste. 5, 724-5802. F SEE ORANGE PARK.
AVONDALE + ORTEGA
HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, harpoonlouies.net. F Locally owned & operated 20+ years. American pub. 1/2-lb. burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta. Local beers, HH. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MOJO NO. 4 URBAN BBQ & WHISKEY BAR, 3572 St. Johns Ave., Ste. 1, 381-6670. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Pulled pork and Carolina-style barbecue. Delta fried catfish. Avondale’s Mojo has shrimp & grits, specialty cocktails. Local musicians on weekends. $$ FB K TO L D Daily PINEGROVE MARKET & DELI, 1511 PineGrove Ave., 389-8655, pinegrovemarket.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. 40+ years. Burgers, Cubans, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher, USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. Fri. & Sat. fish fry. $ BW TO B L D M-Sa RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaurantorsay.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. French/ Southern bistro; local organic ingredients. Steak frites, mussels, pork chops. $$$ FB R, Su; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simplysaras.net. F Down-home fare from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Tu-Sa, B Sa SOUTH KITCHEN & SPIRITS, 3638 Park St., 475-2362, south.kitchen. Southern classics: crispy catfish w/ smoked gouda grits, family-style fried chicken, burgers, vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free options. $$ FB K TO L D Daily
BAYMEADOWS
AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES. INDIA’S, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajaxcom. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Authentic cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetables, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L M-Sa; D Nightly LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., 425-9142. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE SAN MARCO.
DINING DIRECTORY
BEACHES
(Venues are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.) AL’S CRAFT PIZZA CO., 240 Third St. N., Neptune Beach, 249-0002, alspizza.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. NY-style-gourmet pizzas, baked dishes. 28+ years. All day HH M-Th. $ FB K TO L D Daily ANGIE’S SUBS, 1436 Beach Blvd., 246-2519. ANGIE’S GROM SUBS, 204 Third Ave. S., 241-3663. F Fresh ingredients, 25+ years. Huge salads, blue-ribbon iced tea. Grom has Sun. brunch, no alcohol. $ K BW TO L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 2400 S. Third St., Ste. 201, 374-5735. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. BURRITO GALLERY, 300 Beach Blvd., Ste. 1, 246-6521, burritogallery.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Relocated, all grown up. Same great quality burritos, tacos, enchiladas; fast service. Craft cocktails. HH M-F. $ K FB TO L D Daily CRUISERS GRILL, 319 23rd Ave. S., 270-0356, cruisersgrill. com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Locally owned & operated 20+ years. Half-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, big salads, award-winning cheddar fries, sangria. $ BW K TO L D Daily DELICOMB DELICATESSEN & ESPRESSO BAR, 102 Sixth Ave. N., 372-4192, delicomb.com. Family-owned-andoperated. Everything’s made with natural and organic ingredients—no hydrogenated oilsor HFCS. Granola, tuna salad, kimchi, wraps, spicy panini melts. $ TO B L Tu-Su EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001, europeanstreet.com. F SEE RIVERSIDE. FAMOUS TOASTERY, 311 N. Third St., 372-0712, famoustoastery.com. Corned beef hash, gluten-free pancakes, omelets, toast. Wraps, Bloody Marys, mimosas, peach Bellini. $$ FB K TO B L Daily
BIG SHOTS!
FLEMING ISLAND
GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 1915 East-West Pkwy., 541-0009. F SEE RIVERSIDE. MOJO SMOKEHOUSE, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. SEE AVONDALE. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteysfishcamp.com. F Real fish camp. Gator tail, freshwater catfish, daily specials, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar. Come by boat, bike or car. $ FB K TO L Tu-Su; D Nightly
INTRACOASTAL WEST
AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980. F SEE ORANGE PARK.
BRENDAN DAVIS
228 3rd St. N. • Jacksonville Beach Born in: Columbus, Ohio Years in Biz: 15 Favorite Bar: Ragtime Fave Cocktail Style: Beer Go-To Ingredients: Water, barley, hops Hangover Cure: Hair of the dog Insider's Secret: Always be polite, and when in doubt, blame the bar-back. Celeb Sighting at Your Bar: Matt Willhoite (If you don’t know who that is, you’re missing out) When You Say, “The Usual”: Head High IPA
CAMDEN COUNTY, GEORGIA
CAPTAIN STAN’S SMOKEHOUSE, 700 Bedell Dr., Woodbine, 912-729-9552. Barbecue, sides, hot dogs, burgers, desserts.
Food and fun collide in Folio Weekly’s Bite-Sized SUMMER SERIES
DOWNTOWN
THE BANK BAR B Q & BAKERY, 331 W. Forsyth St., 388-1600, thebankbbq.com. 28 years’ experience means barbecue done right. Onsite bakery has specialty cakes. $ TO L & D M-F BURRITO GALLERY & BAR, 21 E. Adams St., 598-2922. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Innovative Southwestern fare; ginger teriyaki tofu, beef barbacoa, wraps, tacos. $ BW TO L D M-Sa CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth, 356-8282, casadoraitalian. com. F Serving Italian fare, 40+ years: veal, seafood, pizza. Homemade salad dressing. $ BW K L M-F; D M-Sa OLIO MARKET, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com. F Scratch soups, sandwiches. Duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L M-F; D F & Sa SPLIFF’S GASTROPUB, 15 N. Ocean St., 844-5000. Music venue has munchie apps, mac & cheese dishes, pockets, gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches. HH M-F. $ BW L D M-Sa URBAN GRIND COFFEE COMPANY, 45 W. Bay, Ste. 102, 516-7799, urbangrind.coffee. Locally roasted whole bean brewed coffees, espressos, pastries, smoothies, bagels. Chicken/tuna salad, sandwiches. WiFi. $ B L M-F. URBAN GRIND EXPRESS, 50 W. Laura, 516-7799. SEE ABOVE. ZODIAC BAR & GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283, thezodiacbarandgrill.com. 16+ years. Mediterranean cuisine, American fare, paninis, vegetarian dishes. Daily lunch buffet. Espressos, hookahs. HH M-F $ FB L M-F; D W-Sa
Green Room Brewing
FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & TEQUILA BAR, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680, flyingiguana.com. F Latin American: tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana fare. 100+ tequilas. $ FB TO L D Daily GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925, gustojax.com. Classic Old World Roman cuisine, large Italian menu: homestyle pasta, beef, chicken, fish delicacies; open pizza-tossing kitchen. Reservations encouraged. $$ FB TO L R D Tu-Su HAWKERS ASIAN STREET FARE, 241 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 425-1025. SEE RIVERSIDE. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 657 Third St. N., 247-9620. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 1534 3rd St. N., 853-6817. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT & BLUES BAR, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636. SEE AVONDALE. MSHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-2599, shackburgers.com. Burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes. Dine indoors or out. $$ BW L D Daily NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 1585 Third St. N., 458-1390. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE MANDARIN. RAGTIME TAVERN SEAFOOD & GRILL, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F 30+ years, iconic seafood place. Blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily HH, brunch Sun. $$ FB L D Daily SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 1018 Third St. N., 372-4456, saltlifefoodshack.com. Specialty items, tuna poke bowl, fresh sushi, Ensenada tacos, local fried shrimp. $$ FB K TO L D Daily V PIZZA, 528 First St. N., 853-6633, vpizza.com. Traditional Neapolitana artisan pizza from Naples – Italy, not Florida, made with fresh ingredients. $$ FB TO L D Daily WHISKEY JAX, 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy., 853-5973. SEE BAYMEADOWS.
BITE-SIZED
Dine in or out on picnic tables. $$ FB K TO L & D Tu-Sa OUTERBANKS SPORTS BAR & GRILLE, 140 The Lakes Blvd., Ste. H, Kingsland, 912-729-5499. Fresh seafood, burgers, steaks, wings. $$ FB TO D Nightly
MANDARIN + NW ST. JOHNS
AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES. ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199, athenscafejax.com. 20+ years of Greek fare, serving dolmades (stuffed grape leaves), baby shoes (stuffed eggplant), Greek beers. Vegetarian-friendly. Full bar. Early bird menu Mon.-Fri. $$ FB L M-F; D M-Sa CRUISERS GRILL, 5613 San Jose Blvd., 737-2874. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES. FIRST COAST DELI & GRILL, 6082 St. Augustine Rd., 733-7477. Pancakes, bacon, sandwiches, burgers, wings. $ K TO B L Daily JAX DINER, 5065 St. Augustine Rd., 739-7070. New spot serves local produce, meats, breads, seafood. $ TO B L Daily METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO BAR-B-QUE, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200, mojobbq.com. SEE AVONDALE. NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Organic soups, baked items, sandwiches, prepared foods. Juice, smoothie, coffee bar. All-natural beer/wine. $ BW TO K B L D Daily V PIZZA, 12601 San Jose Blvd., 647-9424. SEE SAN MARCO.
ORANGE PARK
THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959, hilltop-club. com. Southern fine dining. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. Extensive bourbon selection. $$$ FB D Tu-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 165, 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 15, 272-3553. 5733 Roosevelt, 446-9500. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove, 284-7789, larryssubs.com. F Larry’s piles ’em high, serves ’em fast; 36+ years. Hot & cold subs, soups. Some Larry’s serve breakfast. $ K TO B L D Daily
GOOD FOOD
pphoto by Brentley Stead ph
NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 11030 Baymeadows Rd., 260-2791. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE MANDARIN. PATTAYA THAI GRILLE, 9551 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1, 646-9506, ptgrille.com. Since 1989, the family-owned place has offered an extensive menu of traditional Thai, vegetarian, new-Thai; curries, seafood, noodles, soups. Low-sodium & gluten-free. $$$ BW TO L D Tu-Sa THE WELL WATERING HOLE, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9, 737-7740, thewellwateringhole.com. Local craft beers, glass/bottle wines. Meatloaf sandwich, pulled Peruvian chicken, vegan black bean burgers. $$ BW K TO L M-F; D Tu-Sa WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 135, 634-7208, whiskeyjax.com. Gastropub. Craft beers, gourmet burgers, handhelds, signature plates. HH. $$ FB L D F-Su; D Nightly
& GOLF
OVERSET
PENCILS
FUN FACT: GOLF IS BORING. IT’S QUIET, there’s no official food, and you can barely see what’s happening. Watching a small, white ball go from one hole to another, or arc against the clouds, invisible, is not my idea of fun. So when everyone raved about sport multiplex TOPGOLF, I was more than skeptical. Spoiler alert: I actually enjoyed it. The hulking building at St. Johns Town Center can be seen from the highway. If it’s your first time there, check in at the front and pay a one-time $5 registration fee. In your assigned bay, test the driver and work on putting more oomph in your backswing (I have it on good authority these are real golf terms). While you wait your term, check out the full food and drink menu. There are options beyond the usual bar menu, but Topgolf shines in its comfort zone– burgers and cold ones. For something more creative, try flatbreads like the Prosciutto, Artichoke & Olive ($10) or Mushi ($10), a take on Mexican sushi. It’s a burrito wrapped neatly and sliced into circles, giving the feel of sushi. It’s listed as an app, but it’s got everything you want in a full burrito: rice, beans, chicken, cheese, all topped with sriracha. All the dishes and drinks are served on proper china, which makes you feel a little special. Like I said, though, the burger ($10.50) is where it’s at. It includes a choice of fries or tots. (You’re insane if you don’t order the tots.) The tots are served in an adorable mini fryer basket. The real star on this plate is the well-seasoned patty atop its bun throne. If I could give the burger an emoji with heart eyes, I would. This perfectly cooked burger (medium, always) with its crown of tomato, lettuce and onion makes a flawless bite. There are others, like Sunrise Burger ($12.50) (with an egg) or Mac Daddy ($13), loaded with mac and cheese, but I’m a classic kinda gal.
BITE-SIZED
TOPGOLF
10531 Brightman Blvd., Southside, 328-2002, topgolf.com Now: S’mores. Topgolf doesn’t disappoint here. Not saying they were Sandlot-worthy, but they were perfect for the time and place. A plate includes four decent-sized s’mores, with the marshmallow fluff nicely caramelized by a blowtorch. Then the whole situation is drizzled with chocolate sauce. The cocktail menu includes favorites like Moscow Mules and fruit drinks with umbrellas. The Moscow Mule had a nice, subtle ginger flavor, but it tasted a little too watered-down to earn five stars. Since you’ll be swinging a club when it’s your turn to step up to the plate (oops, is that baseball? More on that next week.), choose dishes that are easy to take a bite of then set down for a swing. Topgolf is definitely kid- and adult-friendly. Try it this summer, so when fall weather comes around, you won’t be embarrassed on the links again. Brentley Stead biteclub@folioweekly.com JUNE 7-13, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 31
DINING DIRECTORY PINT-SIZED Fear not, SCIENCE is to the rescue!
THE WARM
IT NEVER FAILS; YOU’RE RUNNING LATE TO your buddy’s backyard cookout when you realize you forgot to pick up a six-pack of delicious craft beer. In a last-ditch effort to save face, you dash into the nearest store and grab the first decent IPA you see. Unfortunately, instead of in the cooler with the tasteless, mass-produced fizzy, yellow water, your sixer is on the shelf chillin’, but not chilling. If only there was a fast way to cool those hoppy bottles of summertime salvation and simultaneously impress your friends with your MacGyver-like prowess. Never fear, I have just the science you need to turn tepid bottles into icy liquid bliss. And the best part? You need only a few things already lying around the house. First, find a container large enough to hold all the beer and allow plenty of room between each. Then grab some ice. You’ll need enough to reach about halfway up the bottles. Next, get a box of salt from the spice cabinet. It doesn’t really matter what kind–kosher, pickling, table or rock–and pour a healthy amount into a pitcher of tap water. The idea is to get the water very salty, like the ocean. Finally, pour the saltwater into the container until it reaches the bottlenecks. In five to 10 minutes, your beer will be icy cold, your hero status will be assured. Why does this work? That, my friends, is some serious science called freezing-point depression. Adding salt to ice causes the ice crystals to pull apart or melt. This process uses energy and, since energy is the same as heat, the water gets colder as the salt melts the ice. Salt also lowers the freezing point of water, thus it does not refreeze. This is why salt is used to de-ice roads during winter storms. If you put as much salt in water as the solution can hold, the freezing point can be depressed to as low as six degrees below zero. So, the more salt in the water, the lower the temperature can go without freezing. Typically, you can expect to cool the water to about 20° to 24°F. Cooling beer in a solution also works faster than ice alone because more of the surface is in contact with the cooling substance. Think about it: When you put beer in a cooler full of ice, only the portions of the container that are actually touching the ice are getting any cooling benefit. But when you submerge the container in water, the entire surface is touching the cooling agent, achieving maximum cooling effect. Just be sure to rinse the bottles off before drinking so you don’t get salt in your beer. There’s more science to the thermodynamics of this, but for now, it’s enough to make you look really smart when your friends ask you what, in the name of all that is holy, you are doing. All that’s left to do is to put your shades on, find a lawn chair and slip your frosty beverage into a coozy to sip at your leisure. Science, hell yeah! Marc Wisdom marc@folioweekly.com
PINT-SIZED
32 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 7-13, 2017
Neptune Beach is the newest location of HAWKERS ASIAN STREET FARE offering the same menu and atmosphere that made it an icon in 5 Points.
METRO DINER, 2034 Kingsley Ave., 375-8548. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. MILL BASIN, 1754 Wells Rd., Orange Park, 644-8172, mill-basin.com. Serving modern interpretations of classic Italian fare and upscale craft cocktails. Late night menu available. Daily HH, brunch Sun. $$ FB L D Daily THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611, roadhouseonline.net. Sandwiches, wings, burgers, quesadillas for 35+ years. 75+ imported beers. $ FB L D Daily SNACSHACK BAKERY, 179 College Dr., Ste. 19, 322-1414, snacshack.menu. Bakery and café; sandwiches, coffees, bagels, muffins, breads, cookies, brownies, snack treats. $$ TO B BR L M-F SPRING PARK COFFEE, 328 Ferris St., Green Cove Springs, 531-9391, springparkcoffee.com. Cozy shop; fresh-roasted Brass Tacks coffee, handcrafted hot & cold drinks, specialty lattes, cappuccino, macchiato, teas, pastries, sandwiches, breakfast. $ B L D Daily
PONTE VEDRA BEACH
AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A, 543-1494. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 830 A1A N., Ste. 6, 273-3993. F SEE ORANGE PARK. MSHACK NOCATEE, 641 Crosswater Pkwy., 395-3575. SEE BEACHES. METRO DINER, 340 Front St., Ste. 700, 513-8422. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE SAN MARCO.
RIVERSIDE, 5 PTS + WESTSIDE
13 GYPSIES, 887 Stockton St., 389-0330, 13gypsies.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Authentic Mediterranean cuisine: chorizo, tapas, blackened cod, pork skewers, coconut mango curry chicken. Breads from scratch. $$ BW L D Tu-Sa, R Sa AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., Ste. 201, 388-8384. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES. BLACK SHEEP, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, blacksheep5points.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. New American, Southern; local source ingredients. Specials, rooftop bar. HH. $$$ FB R Sa & Su; L M-F; D Nightly BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 869 Stockton St., Ste. 1, 855-1181, boldbeancoffee.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Small-batch, artisanal approach to sourcing and roasting single-origin, direct-trade coffees. Signature blends, handcrafted syrups, espressos, craft beers. $ BW TO B L Daily BRIXX WOOD FIRED PIZZA, 220 Riverside Ave., 300-3928, brixxpizza.com. Pizzas, pastas, soups. Glutenfree options. Daily specials, BOGO pizzas 10 p.m.-close. $$ FB K TO L D Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412, cornertaco.com. Made-from-scratch “Mexclectic street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free, vegetarian options. $ BW L D Tu-Su CUMMER CAFÉ, Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummer.org. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Light lunch, quick bites, locally roasted coffee, espresso-based beverages, sandwiches, gourmet desserts, daily specials. Dine in or in gardens. $ BW K L D Tu; L W-Su EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 2753 Park St., 384-9999. 130+ import beers, 20 on tap. Sandwiches. Dine outside at some EStreets. $ BW K L D Daily FIVE POINTS TAVERN, 1521 Margaret St., 549-5063, fivepointstavern.com. New American cosmopolitan place serves chef-curated dishes in a relaxed environment. $$ FB TO L & D Tu-Su GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. F Juice bar uses certified organic fruits, veggies. Artisanal cheeses, 300 craft,
photo by Madison Gross
BEER BLUES
import beers, 50 organic wines, produce, meats, vitamins, herbs, wraps, sides, sandwiches. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS ASIAN STREET FARE, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Authentic dishes from mobile stalls: BBQ pork char sui, beef haw fun, Hawkers baos, chow faan, grilled Hawker skewers. $ BW TO L D Daily IL DESCO, 2665 Park St., 290-6711, ildescojax.com. Authentic Italian cuisine; wood-fired pizzas, pasta, baked Italian dishes, raw bar, spaghetti tacos. Daily HH. $$-$$$ FB K TO L D Daily JOHNNY’S DELI & GRILLE, 474 Riverside Ave., 356-8055. F Casual; made-to-order sandwiches, wraps. $ TO B L M-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1509 Margaret St., 674-2794. 7895 Normandy Blvd., 781-7600. 8102 Blanding Blvd., 779-1933. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., 999-4600. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. THE MOSSFIRE GRILL, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434, mossfire.com. 2016 Best of Jax finalist. Near 5 Points intersection. Southwestern dishes: fish tacos, chicken enchiladas. HH M-Sa in upstairs lounge; HH all day Su. $$ FB K L D Daily MSHACK, 1012 Margaret St., 423-1283. SEE BEACHES. SOUTHERN ROOTS FILLING STATION, 1275 King St., 513-4726, southernrootsjax.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Fresh vegan fare; local, organic ingredients. Specials, on bread, local greens/rice, change daily. Sandwiches, coffees, teas. $ Tu-Su SUN-RAY CINEMA, 1028 Park St., 359-0047, sunraycinema.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Firstrun, indie and art films screened. Beer, local drafts, wine, pizza–Godbold, Black Lagoon Supreme–hot dogs, hummus, sandwiches, popcorn, nachos, brownies. $$ BW Daily SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside Ave., Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushicafejax.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Monster, Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll. Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. Inside/patio. $$ BW L D Daily
ST. AUGUSTINE
AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES. CRUISERS GRILL, 3 St. George St., 824-6993. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES. THE FLORIDIAN, 72 Spanish St., 829-0655, thefloridianstaug.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Updated Southern fare; fresh, local ingredients. Vegetarian, gluten-free option. Signature fried green tomato bruschetta, blackened fish cornbread stack; grits w/shrimp/fish/tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D W-M GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F 33+ years. Varied urban cuisine menu changes twice daily. Signature: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. $$ FB R Su; L D Daily MARDI GRAS SPORTS BAR, 123 San Marco Ave., 347-3288, mardibar.com. Wings, nachos, shrimp, chicken, Phillys, sliders, soft pretzels. $$ FB TO L D Daily MOJO OLD CITY BBQ, 5 Cordova St., 342-5264, mojobbq.com. SEE AVONDALE. O’LOUGHLIN PUB, 6975 A1A S., 429-9715. Familyowned-and-operated. Authentic fish & chips, shepherd’s pie, corned beef & cabbage, bangers & mash, duck wings. $$ FB K TO L D Daily
SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 321 A1A, 217-3256. SEE BEACHES. METRO DINER, 1000 S. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 758-3323. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. SHANGHAI NOBBY’S, 10 Anastasia Blvd., 547-2188. Cuban-style, Philly cheesesteak sandwiches. $$ FB
SAN MARCO + SOUTHBANK
THE BEARDED PIG SOUTHERN BBQ & BEER GARDEN, 1224 Kings Ave., 619-2247, thebeardedpigbbq.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Barbecue joint Southern style: brisket, pork, chicken, sausage, beef; veggie platters. $$ BW K TO Daily BISTRO AIX, 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox.com. F Mediterranean/French inspired menu changes seasonally. 250+ wines. Wood-fired oven baked, grilled specialties: pizza, pasta, risotto, steaks, seafood. Hand-crafted cocktails, specialty drinks. Dine outside. HH M-F. $$$ FB L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 1905 Hendricks Ave. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 398-9500. SEE RIVERSIDE. FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusionsushijax.com. F Upscale; fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, katsu, seafood. $$ K L D Daily KITCHEN ON SAN MARCO, 1402 San Marco Blvd., 396-2344, kitchenonsanmarco.com. Gastropub serves local, national craft beers, specialty cocktails. Seasonal menu, with fresh, locally sourced ingredients. $$ FB R Su; L D Daily METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metrodinercom. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Original upscale diner in a historic 1930s-era building. Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, soups. This one serves dinner nightly. $$ B R L D Daily PIZZA PALACE RESTAURANT & PIZZERIA, 1959 San Marco Blvd., 399-8815, pizzapalacejax.com. F Family-owned&-operated; spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, ravioli, lasagna, parmigiana. Dine outside. HH. $$ BW K TO L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco Blvd., 398-3005, tavernasanmarco.com. Chef Sam Efron’s authentic Italian; tapas, wood-fired pizza. Seasonal local produce, meats. Craft beer (some local), award-winning wine. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily V PIZZA, 1406 Hendricks Ave., 527-1511, vpizza.com. Serving true artisan Neapolitana pizzas, hand-tossed, thin or thick crust. Baked dishes, subs, stromboli, wings, wraps. $$ FB to L D Daily
SOUTHSIDE + TINSELTOWN
ALHAMBRA THEATRE & DINING, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. Open 50 years. Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus. Reservations. $$ FB D Tu-Su EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717. SEE RIVERSIDE. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F SEE ORANGE PARK. MARIANAS GRINDS, 11380 Beach Blvd., Ste. 10, 206-612-6596. Pacific Islander fare, chamorro culture. Soups, stews, fitada, beef oxtail, katden pika; empanadas, lumpia, chicken relaguen, BBQ-style ribs, chicken. $$ TO B L D Tu-Su MOXIE KITCHEN + COCKTAILS, 4972 Big Island Dr., 998-9744. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Chef Tom Gray’s locally sourced contemporary American menu has starters—deviled farm eggs, chicken livers; favorites— chicken & waffles, Dr Pepper-glazed beef short ribs. Seared scallops, handmade gnocchi. Inventive cocktails, patio dining. HH daily. $$ FB K Su Br, L M-Sa; D Nightly
DINING DIRECTORY MSHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000. SEE BEACHES. OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr., 900-7730, ovintecom. Italy, Spain, Mediterranean. Small plates, tapas, charcuterie: ceviche fresco, pappardelle bolognese, lobster ravioli. 240-bottle/wines, 75/glass; craft spirits. $$ FB R, Su; D Nightly
regional, international produce. Breakfast, sandwiches. $ B L D M-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 12001 Lem Turner Rd., 764-9999. SEE ORANGE PARK. UPTOWN KITCHEN & BAR, 1303 Main St. N., 355-0734, uptownmarketjax.com. Bite Club certified. Fresh fare, innovative menus, farm-to-table selections, daily specials. $$ BW TO B L Daily
SPRINGFIELD + NORTHSIDE
ANDY’S GRILL, 1810 W. Beaver St., 354-2821, jaxfarmersmarket.com. Inside Jax Farmers Market. Local,
CHEFFED-UP
Get your daily FRUIT intake with a BUZZ
CHEFFED-UP
MOMMA
JUICE
IT’S TIME TO EMBRACE SUMMER IN ALL its hot, sultry glory. For the poor souls in northern climes, summer is time to actually enjoy the outdoors without fear of hypothermia. Though all the exposed pale northern flesh can be quite blinding, a nice pair of shades will give ample protection for these unfortunates’ delicate retinas. Summertime is also the official grilling season for the whole United States of America. Americans all over the nation begin firing up backyard grills or bite the bullet and buy new ones from their favorite big-box store. Ever walked through a mega-store’s garden section and counted the different kinds of grills available? To put it mildly, it’s absolutely overwhelming. All I can say to the prospective grill buyer is good luck and gas grills suck! For people like me who live in the 904 and are obsessed with grilled foods, grilling season is year ’round. You could say I’m spoiled by the weather. I never need an excuse, a season or a special occasion to fire up my little Webber. Now y’all probably expect me to wax poetic on the ethereal pleasures of my Memorial Day cookout. Sorry to disappoint, but that ain’t happening today! After a beautiful, long spring of dreamy mild temperatures, the sudden onslaught of high humidity and mid-to-upper 90° heat caught me off-guard. I was so totally unprepared, I actually skipped grilling the entire holiday weekend. Shocking, I know; what can I say? Instead of fighting the evening heat (I did spend most of the day outside) on Memorial Day, I was inspired by the allure of sangria. Cool, citrusy, slightly sweet, totally refreshing and kinda hipster, too, sangria is the perfect summer beverage. Why? Because you can make summer’s fruitful bounty into something alcoholic! At its heart, sangria is merely a clever way to turn cheap red wine into an epicurean delight. First choose the most beautiful, ripe,
juicy, sweet and delicious fruit you can find. I definitely recommend the local farmers market for this. Then purchase a reliable, yet cheap, wine for the base. I usually choose lighter reds such as a rioja, pinot noir or even malbec. Then you get to go to the liquor store. Brandy is what you’re after, and maybe even a nice fruity liqueur. Last question: What delightful meal should accompany all that delectable sangria? I chose several Spanish cheeses followed by a beautiful arroz con pollo. It was brilliant. Try this simple sangria recipe to get started.
CHEF BILL’S BASIC SANGRIA Ingredients • 1 bottle red wine (rioja, pinot • noir, malbec) • 3 oz. inexpensive brandy • 1 oz. limoncello or other fruit liqueur • 1 orange, honeybell, etc. • 1 apple • 6 strawberries, hulled • 1/2 lemon • 1 Tbsp. sugar • Soda water to taste (optional) Directions 1. Pour red wine in a pitcher; mix in the 1. sugar until dissolved. 2. Add the other booze and juice from 1. the lemon to the wine mixture. 3. Slice the fruit into thin wedges. 1. Add to the wine mixture. 4. Stir and refrigerate for a couple 1. of hours. 5. Add soda water and ice and enjoy. Until we cook again,
Chef Bill Thompson cheffedup@folioweekly.com ____________________________________ Contact Chef Bill Thompson, owner of The Amelia Island Culinary Academy, at cheffedup@folioweekly.com to find inspiration and get you Cheffed Up! JUNE 7-13, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 33
PETS LOOKIN’ FOR LOVE FOLIO
W E E K LY
FOLIO LIVING DEAR
PET
LOVERS’
GUIDE
DAVI
Davi’s tips for HURRICANE PREPAREDNESS for pets
BLOWN AWAY Dear Davi, My humans think hurricanes are just big storms; meanwhile, I’m freaking out. Can you please post tips on preparing for the next storm? Duncan the Dane Duncan, Here in Florida, hurricanes can seem commonplace. It’s tempting to take them lightly. But it’s worth remembering they’re unpredictable forces of nature that command respect. Hurricane season runs June 1-Nov. 30. This can be a frightening time for pets and humans. Having an emergency plan is key to survival. Your human should take measures to prepare now to dodge the devastating effects from these storms.
MAKE A PLAN DON’T WAIT UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE TO prepare for a hurricane. It’s important to plan ahead to avoid last-minute surprises and confusion when the storm hits. If you have to evacuate, find a safe place ahead of time. If you plan to stay at a local shelter, find out which locations allow pets and know all the requirements—be aware shelters require up-to-date vaccinations and certain supplies for pets. If you plan to stay at a hotel, know which ones accept pets. Once a storm is approaching, hotels fill up quickly, so be sure to call ahead and make a reservation. If you ride out the storm at home, be prepared for what could be a rough 12-24 hours. Identify a safe room to hunker down and store emergency supplies. Be sure all windows and doors are closed and stay tuned to local news reports.
you’re wearing a collar with identification tags. Better yet, get microchipped. Have your human store your ID number and chip records in her phone and share with a friend or family member. That way, if her phone is lost, you can still be found. Take pictures. Lots of pets look alike, so having a current photo showing your unique features will help eliminate mistaken identity.
CREATE A PET EMERGENCY KIT IT’S NOT MUCH DIFFERENT FROM A HUMAN one. Pack enough food and water for five days and sturdy bowls to store and serve meals. Include lots of poop bags and a litter scoop to clean up waste. Keep medication and health records handy, stored in a waterproof pouch. A pet first-aid kit is needed, and toys to keep busy. Ready a comfy crate in case you need to evacuate.
AFTER THE STORM
ALWAYS WEAR YOUR ID
WHILE ASSESSING DAMAGE WITH YOUR human, stay leashed. Unfamiliar scents stirred up by the storm may excite or alarm pets; animals are easily disoriented. Hazards, like downed powerlines and trees, are also dangers that could harm pets. When Hurricane Matthew battered the southeast coast, my mom and I were ready to evacuate, but even with preparation, things can go wrong. Our plan hit a snag when we learned our hotel was overbooked; we were stranded. The manager was able to make arrangements with another nearby hotel, a pet-free hotel. They made an exception and we waited out the storm safely, thank goodness. Rule of Paw: Expect the unexpected. Davi mail@folioweekly.com ____________________________________
IF YOU GO MISSING DURING OR AFTER THE storm, you’re more likely to be found if
Surviving Hurricane Matthew made Davi feel like a regular storm trooper.
PET TIP: KIT & KABOODLE BE PREPARED FOR FIRST AID EMERGENCIES What goes in a pet first aid kit? The Humane Society of the United States suggests a pet first-aid guide book, phone numbers of vet, emergency vet clinic, poison control center/hotline (ASPCA, 800-426-4435); rabies-vaccine papers, medical records, current photo; nylon leash; self-cling bandage–sticks to itself, not fur; muzzle or cloth strips to prevent biting (not if pet is vomiting). Supplies like in human kits: gauze, wipes, thermometer, hydrogen peroxide, etc. For details, go to humanesociety.org. 34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 7-13, 2017
PET EVENTS NATIONAL BEST FRIENDS DAY • At Jax Humane Society, pick a new pet and name your adoption price, June 8-11, noon-7 p.m. Mon.-Fri., 10 a.m.-5 p.m. weekends, 8464 Beach Blvd., Southside, 765-8766, jaxhumane.org. WORLD OCEANS DAY • Celebrate this international event at the Jacksonville Zoo on June 8 with $3 off general admission when you bring a plastic grocery bag full of other plastic grocery bags to recycle. Penguin and stingray keepers are on hand; learn about the manatee critical care center. 370 Zoo Pkwy., Northside, 757-4463, jacksonvillezoo.org.
ADOPTABLES
SMASH
HEY, NOW, YOU’RE A ROCK STAR • Just like the hit band Smashmouth said, I’m a rock star! I think they wrote that song about me. I’m 2 years old, white and grey; I’d love to make you smile. I’d be a smash with any family! Find me at 8464 Beach Blvd., Southside. Our new hours are noon-7 p.m., Mon.-Fri. and 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Sat. & Sun. JASPER THE READ DOG • Kids ages 5-12 practice, reading to real, live dog Jasper, 3-4 p.m. June 10, Pablo Creek Regional Library, 13295 Beach Blvd., Intracoastal, 992-7101. Jasper’s back, 2:30-3 p.m. June 21, Regency Square Branch Library, 9900 Regency Sq. Blvd., 726-5142, jaxpubliclibrary.org. WILD WONDERS • The hands-on nature program, with creatures educator Mike Rossi brings for his “Warm Fuzzies & Prehistoric Pets,” is 11 a.m. June 10, Dutton Island Preserve, Dutton Island Drive West, Atlantic Beach, coab.us. MEET THE GUINEA PIGS • Meet the lil fellas and learn about them, 1-1:30 p.m. June 10 at Petco, 11111 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 254-5715, petco.com. CAMPGROUND CRITTERS • The rescue animal show features cats, dogs, ducks, macaws, and a few surprise animals. Showtimes are 11 a.m., 1 p.m. and 3 p.m. Mon.-Fri., 11 a.m., 1 p.m., 3 & 4:30 p.m. weekends at Jacksonville Zoo, 370 Zoo Pkwy., Northside, 757-4463, jacksonvillezoo.org; $3 members; $4 nonmembers.
ADOPTABLES
LUCY
IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS • Hello, all! My name is Lucy and, just like a diamond, I’m a precious gem. I’m a 2-year-old shorthaired feline who’d love to be your one of a kind! New to the adoption process? No problem! Visit jaxhumane.org/adopt to learn all about how adoptions work. See you soon! PET SOLUTIONS • Find out stuff you should know about your pet, noon-4:30 p.m. June 10 at Petco, 1514 C.R. 220, Fleming Island, 215-7498; 11111 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 254-5715; 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy., Jax Beach, 273-0964; 11900 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 213, Intracoastal West, 997-8441; 430 CBL Dr., St. Augustine, 824-8520; 463713 S.R. 200, Yulee, 225-0014, petco.com. Check website for times, which are subject to change. READ WITH ROVER • Children read to dogs Diva and Tenor, 2-3 p.m. June 10, Mandarin Library, 3330 Kori Rd., 262-5201, jaxpubliclibrary.org. ADOPT AN ANIMAL • You can adopt a gorilla, a lemur, okapi or an Asian otter! Be an Honorary Zookeeper when you donate to the zoo, providing support for the care, housing and feeding of zoo animals. For $5, you get a certificate of adoption, a mini plush animal, a photo and interesting facts about your adopted animal. Order online at jacksonvillezoo.org, download order form (mail/fax it in), call 757-4463 ext. 114 or email members@jacksonvillezoo.org. PET ADOPTION • 60+ cats and kittens, 40+ dogs and puppies need homes; Wags & Whiskers Pet Rescue, 1967 Old Moultrie Rd., St. Augustine, 797-1913, 797-6039, petrescue.org. All are spayed/neutered and up-to-date on shots. JUNE 7-13, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35
FREEWILL ASTROLOGY
DALE RATERMANN’s Folio Weekly Crossword presented by
MAGIC COOKIES, MILKY WAY GALAXY, KALE, NIELS BOHR & CHEESE GRATERS
Serving Excellence Since 1928 Member American Gem Society
San Marco 2044 San Marco Blvd. 398-9741
Ponte Vedra
THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA
330 A1A North 280-1202
Avondale 3617 St. Johns Ave. 388-5406
FOLIO WEEKLY CROSSWORD 1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
14
15
16
17
18
19
21
20 25
36
37
22
26
27
30
31 39
38
46 50
32
33
67
52
64 69
68
53
56
57
65
66
70
74
75
76
77
31 35 39 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22 24 25 28 30 31 36 39 41 42 43 45 46 48 49 50 52 54
Cool, in slang The ___ Trap “Petty” crime Mulligan, say *Arrested Development actor from Tallahassee The bucking starts here Partner of one Swedish retailer FPL, e.g. Sex lead-in Nautical dir. Shopping lines UF profs’ aides Dilettantes MLK’s title MOCA work, maybe British coin Goes out to sea Pretty pitcher Open contempt Take-out order Person making waves Dirt ball TAPS Bar & ___ Rajah’s wife Gees’ opposites Job provider F/X animation Hard water
72 73 74 75 76 77
JIA starts Old man Loneliest numero Trip producer Aladdin prince Clickable images Land of Zion “Come Sail Away” band Like Gatsby *Miami founder of a chain restaurant “___ She Lovely?” Balkan natives Put below deck Broadway awards show and a hint to the starred clues
DOWN 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 10 11 12
Like a peacock Shade to dye for Play it by ear Happy Meal extra Shady sculptor Clam gatherer Fionn MacCool’s suds Lady’s man Arm muscle “Sugar” substitute Exchange words Athens Cafe salad topper
36 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 7-13, 2017
58
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “When I grow up, I’m not sure what I want to be.” Ever had that bouncing around your mind? Or this: “Since I can’t decide what I want to be, I’ll just be everything.” If you’ve been tempted to swear allegiance to either, it’s time to update. A certain amount of ambivalence about commitment and receptivity to myriad possibilities will always be appropriate for you. But if you hope to fully claim your birthright, if you long to ripen into your authentic self, you’ll have to be ever-more definitive and specific about what you want to be and do.
59
71
73
55 60 63 65 66 67 69 71
35
45
72
ACROSS
34
49
55 63
62
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The Milky Way Galaxy has more than 100 billion stars. If shared equally, every person on Earth could have dominion over at least 14. You’re in a phase when it makes sense to claim your 14. According to my analysis of the weeks ahead, you’ll benefit from envisaging big, imaginative dreams about future riches. How much money do you want? How much love can you express? How much at home in the world can you feel? How many warm rains would you dance beneath? How much creativity do you need to keep reinventing your life? Be extravagant.
41
51
61
13
29
44
54 60
28
40
12
24
48
47
11
23
43
42
10
13 21 23 26 27 29 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 40
Have a fling Druggist Lilly ___ bono *Jags All-Pro tackle *Daytona 500 driver *Jax Zoo executive director Small warbler The Big Easy acronym Cawer Means justifiers Trim a lawn A1A shoulder Navy radar dot Eroded
44 47 51 53 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 64 68 70 71
Oriental transport Plague swarm Dough for ramen HS equivalency test Dollar rival DeLuise film Mandarin park name US 1 speed limit, at times Grooves on A lot, for many Active one Partially mine Catch Real babe Use a stool
SOLUTION TO 5.31.17 PUZZLE N A C L
A C H E
G R I M
S E N O R T A X I I G E T B A N A B T O S E N S O O M E N F E R N F R I E S E C T
B L A B F O U R A F A R E D A T N I F E H A D A R K E I T N A D I N S L O T G A P E T T O L I O T A A N D I N E V E D R O S S
U S H E S E I K B A N N E E A D D E F T L E A S M O P T E R C H E L A R I A E O D D E G O A N N A A B E A C N R I T Y S L I
ARIES (March 21-April 19): If you choose me as a relationship guide, I’ll counsel you and your closest ally to be generous with each other; seek the best, praise each other’s beauty and strength. If you ask me to help foster your collaborative zeal, I’ll urge you to build a shrine to honor your bond–an altar to invoke blessings of deities, nature spirits and the ancestors. If you hire me to advise how to keep fires burning and juices flowing between you, I’ll say never compare your relationship to any other–celebrate that it’s unlike any other in the history of Earth.
R O D S H A F T S S H A M
CANCER (June 21-July 22): As a Cancerian, I’ve had days when I’ve stayed in bed from morning to nightfall, confessing fears to imaginary friends and eating a whole cheesecake. As an astrologer, I’ve noticed these blue patches are likely to occur during the weeks before my birthday each year. If you go through a similar blip soon, I recommend: Don’t feel guilty. Don’t resist. Embrace it fully. If you feel lazy and depressed, be REALLY lazy and depressed. Literally hide under the covers, headphones on, and feel sorry for yourself as long as it takes to exhaust the gloom. Emerge renewed. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In the Internet’s early days, “sticky” was a term applied to websites good at drawing folks back again and again. To get this quality, a content provider had to offer text and images web surfers felt an instinctive yearning to bond with. I’m reanimating this term to use it to describe you. Even if you don’t have a website, you now have a soulful adhesiveness that arouses an urge folks have to merge. Be discerning–you may be stickier than you know! VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Ancient Mayans used chili, magnolia and vanilla to prepare exotic chocolate drinks from cacao beans. The beverage was sacred and prestigious to them, a centerpiece of cultural identity and an accessory in religious rituals. In some locales, people were rewarded for producing delectable chocolate with just the right kind and amount of froth. You’ll soon be asked to do the equivalent, demonstrating your personal power by whipping up the best possible chocolate froth. According to my astrological omenreading, chances are good you’ll succeed. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Do you have your visa for the wild side? Packed a bag of tricks? Bring gifts to give, in case you
need to procure favors in the outlying areas where the rules are a bit loose. It might also be a good idea to take along a skeleton key and a snakebite kit. You won’t necessarily need them, but I suspect you’ll be offered magic cookies and secret shortcuts, and it would be a shame to have to turn them down just because you’re unprepared. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You’re like a prince or princess who’s been turned into a frog by the spell of a fairy tale villain. This situation has gone on for a while. Early on, you retained a vivid awareness that you’d been transformed. But the memory of your origins has faded, and you’re no longer working diligently to find a way to change back into your royal form. Frankly, I’m concerned. This horoscope is to remind you of your mission. Don’t give up! Don’t lose hope! And take extra good care of your frog-self. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): People might have ideas about you that are at odds with how you understand yourself. For example, someone might imagine you’ve been talking trash about them–even though you haven’t. Someone else may describe a memory they have about you, and you know it’s a distorted version of what really happened. Don’t be surprised to hear even more crazy tales, too, like how you’re stalking Taylor Swift or conspiring with One World Government to force all citizens to eat kale every day. Firmly reject all these skewed projections. For the immediate future, it’s crucial to stand up for your right to define yourself–be the final authority on what’s true about you. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “God doesn’t play dice with the universe,” said Albert Einstein. In response, another Nobel Prize-winning physicist, Niels Bohr, said to Einstein, “Stop giving instructions to God.” Be more like Bohr than Einstein in the weeks ahead. As much as possible, avoid giving instructions to anyone, including God, and resist the temptation to offer advice. Abstain from passing judgment, demanding perfection and trying to compel the world to adapt itself to your definitions. Love and accept everything and everyone just as they are right now.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Lysistrata is a satire by ancient Greek playwright Aristophanes. It takes place during the war between Athens and Sparta. The heroine convinces a contingent of women to withhold sexual privileges from the soldiers until they stop fighting. “I will wear my most seductive dresses to inflame my husband’s ardor,” says one. “But I will never yield to his desires. I won’t raise my legs toward the ceiling. I will not take up the position of the Lioness on a Cheese Grater.” Regardless of your gender, your next assignment is twofold: 1. Don’t be like the women in the play. Give favors with discerning generosity. 2. Experiment with colorful approaches, like a Lioness with a Cheese Grater, a Butterfly Riding the Lizard, a Fox Romancing the River–anything you can dream up. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Take seasick pills. Waves will sometimes be higher than your boat. Though I don’t think you’ll capsize, the ride may be wobbly. Unless you have waterproof clothes, it may be best to just get naked. You WILL get drenched. Don’t fantasize about heading back to shore too soon. You have good reasons to be sailing rough waters. There’s a special “fish” out there you need to catch. If you snag it, it’ll feed you for months, maybe longer. Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com
NEWS OF THE WEIRD SO CAN DUDES WEAR PICTURES OF …
The inexplicable ease with which foreign hackers attack U.S. computers and security systems is getting the attention of officials. In a March Washington Post report, a technology expert from Britain’s King’s College London told a reporter how astonished he was to realize the “security chips” on Congressional staff members’ ID badges are fake: The badge “doesn’t actually have a proper chip,” he said. “It has a picture of a chip.” Apparently, he added, “It’s [there] only to prevent chip envy.”
BURNING FOR YOU
Suzette Welton has been in prison in Alaska for 17 years based almost solely on now-debunked forensic evidence, but the state’s lack of a clemency process means she can’t challenge her life sentence unless she proves “complete” innocence. Evidence that the fire that killed her son was “arson” was based on widely believed (but wrong) folklore on how intentional fires burn differently than accidental ones. The bogus arson “trademarks” are similar to those used to convict Texan Cameron Todd Willingham, who was executed for his “arson” in 2004.
AGE OF ASPARAGUS
Reverence for the lineage of asparagus continues in epic yearly Anglican church festivities in Worcester, England. In April, local priests gave a special blessing for the vegetable, as a costumed asparagus pranced around praising the stalks as representing “the generosity of God.” Critics (including other parishes’ clergy) likened the parades to a Monty Python sketch, and “an infantile pantomime,” with one pleading, “Really, for [God’s] sake,” can’t the Church of England offer “more dignified” worship?
PUT ME IN, COACH!
Andrew Bogut, signed as a free agent by the Cleveland Cavaliers in March and expected to be a key player in the team’s quest to defend its league championship, checked into his first game and played 58 seconds, then crashed into a bench and broke his leg. For those 58 seconds, the Cavs owe Bogut $383,000.
PUT ME IN, COACH! PT. II
Jose Calderon signed as a free agent with the Golden State Warriors in March, but the NBA-leading Warriors changed their
mind (for unforeseen reasons) two hours after the deal and released Calderon. For his 119 minutes as a Warrior (6:06-8:05 p.m.), Calderon was paid $415,000.
Folio Weekly helps you connect with the paramour of your dreams. Go to folioweekly.com/i-saw-u.html, fill out the FREE form correctly (40 words or fewer, dammit) by 5 p.m. Friday (for the next Wednesday’s FW) – next stop: Bliss!
YOU SLAY ME, AMY!
In May, as Taunton, Massachusetts, police were about to arrest Amy Rebello-McCarthy, 39, for DUI after she left the road and crashed through several mailboxes (causing all her tires to deflate), she, laughing, told officers she had a bearded dragon in her bra (where it was riding while she drove). The lizard was turned over to animal control.
EXPLOSIVE FUTURE PROGENY
In May, Felicia Nevins complained to reporters that the Pasco County Sheriff ’s Office had improperly drawn attention to her on a matter of a personal nature—that she’d called for help, concerned that the sperm she was storing for in-vitro fertilization (kept under liquid nitrogen in a thermos) might explode. Deputies put the details (but not her name) on the office’s Facebook page, but the Tampa Bay Times figured it out using public sources.
DON’T AGREE TO A DAMN THING AND STAY OUT OF NORTH CAROLINA
In a legislative battle waged since a 1979 state court decision, some North Carolinians tried once again this year to change a state law that explicitly states that once a person (almost always a “female”) has “consented” to an act of sexual intercourse, that consent cannot be withdrawn—even if the encounter turns violent. The violence might be prosecuted as an “assault,” but never the more serious crime of “rape.” Said state Sen. Jeff Jackson, whose bill to change the law failed in April to get a legislative hearing, “We’re the only state in the country where ‘no’ doesn’t mean ‘no.’”
JUST LIKE 007!
In May, the British tribunal dealing with student cheating rejected the appeal of a law student who was caught taking an in-class exam with her textbook open (permitted) but containing handwritten notes in the margins— not permitted. The notes were written in invisible ink, legible with her pen’s UV light. Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net
Aloha! Kamehameha Day is next week! And you’re still not hangin’ 10 in tandem, hûpô. Mai u¯e – FW’s manakâ editorial staff can help you make your own waves! (Get it?) Read these messages or submit your own! Go to folioweekly.com/i-saw-u. html and do this:
E
One: Write a five-word headline so the person recognizes the moment y’all shared. Two: Describe the person, like, “You: hip-shakin’ in a grass hula skirt.” Three: Describe yourself, like, “Me: hideous haole shirt, SPF 200+, safari hat.” Four: Describe the moment, like, “ISU cliff-diving for pearls, soaking wet. I got your oyster shell right here.” Five: Meet, fall in love, reserve a tiki hut.* No names, emails, websites, etc. And fer chrissake, it’s forty (40) words or fewer. Get a love life with Folio Weekly ISUs! I SAW U READING I SAW U! I asked you if the guy you were with was your boyfriend. You said, “No. Just a friend.” Let us go grab some craft brew! When: April 26. Where: Aardwolf San Marco. #1651-0510 HUGGED TWICE One year ago; never forget. Best decision ever. Always love everything about you; hot body by mine. Let’s take it to the tube top the rest of our lives. Weally sewious. You ask, I’d say yes. Always a pleasure Mr. ... When: May 2016. Where: 5 Points. #1650-0503 BARTENDER WANNABE TEACHER You wanted to impact young minds as a teacher. I suggested fixing shattered wrists as a doctor. On second thought, how about making a huge impact as my date? I was the only guy at brunch bar. When: March 25. Where: Best Brunch, I-295 & 9A. #1649-0405 “IRISH LASS” USHER You: blonde, blue-eyed, Kelly green dress. Me: tall, shy, warm-up band member. On rehearsal break, we SU two in balcony, raced up. We shared a bottle of fake Crown (I lied). I’ll find you, love you forever. When: Unsure. Where: Florida Theatre. #1648-0322 ENC-1102 LOVE You: German nose; matched mine. Brown eyes entranced me. Me: Awkward, yellow-haired female. Someone took your seat; you sat beside me. We watched “The Room.” Best time I ever had. May I hold your hand forever? When: March 2015. Where: FSCJ. #1647-0315 I HELD THE DOOR You: Beautiful blonde , sundress, exiting as I entered. Me: Beard, tie; stopped, stared. We locked eyes; you were going out to your Charger. I’d like to hold the door for you again in the future. When: Feb. 27. Where: Firehouse. #1646-0315 SEXY ITALIAN IN PRIMELENDING SHIRT You were funny (sarcastic), had sexy voice, and you were wearing all black. Hands down the most amazing man I’ve ever met. I love you always. When: Feb. 25. Where: Downtown. #1645-0301 BROWN HAIR, SITTING BEHIND ME You: Curly brown hair. Shared some laughs and a DUI. Me: Floral dress, great jokes. Thought we shared a moment; you were called back too soon. Hope to see you March 7th, same spot, 4:15 p.m. When: Feb. 2. Where: Ocean Street. #1644-0208 HANDSOME DOG LOVER, CLEVER SMILE ISU at bar, your eyes said hello. At store, U smiled at me. Walked your dog, I drove by, thought, “Is this déjà
vu … ?” U waved, same handsome smile. Who are U; meet again? When: Jan. 27. Where: Alexandria Oaks Park, Winn-Dixie, Grape & Grain. #1643-0201 COOKBOOK CUTIE You: Sexy AF chef’s coat; warmed my kolache before you put it in BREW oven; asked my name, I spilled my beer. Me: Dark, mysterious, torn “sex me up” shirt. Hope you’ll get me breakfast in bed. When: Jan. 12. Where: BREW. #1642-0201 CHOCOLATE THUNDER You: New hire at my old job; immediately caught my eye; tall, dark, handsome BUT rotund sealed deal; innocent until first movie date; rest is history. Me: Strategic approach–12-step hot sausage program, gifs transfer. Happy V-day CT! When: Sept. 26, 2016. Where: West Jax. #1641-0201 M SHACK RIVERSIDE COOK ISU every day at work; you’re a cook, I’m a waitress. You’re so hot but I don’t have the courage to tell you. Single? If so, please reply. Love to chat sometime. Signed, Too Nervous. When: Every day. Where: Riverside. #1640-0111 I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU You: I knew you before you were born. Me: God I am here for you always, just call on me. I died for you, so live for me and find the peace you seek. When: Jan. 1, 2017. Where: Everywhere. #1639-0111 WE SAVED A TURTLE Day after Christmas. We were trying to save a turtle on Baymeadows in front of SunTrust. My dad and I drove you and turtle to pond. Wished I got more than just your name. When: Dec. 26. Where: By SunTrust Bank, Baymeadows Rd. #1638-0104 ZOO CAROUSEL DADDY On carousel with my son. ISU behind me with your son. You: Male, tall, blondish, beautiful blue eyes. Me: Female, busty brunette. Should’ve talked on the ride; my kid was screaming. Wanna play date? When: Dec. 21. Where: Jax Zoo Carousel. #1637-0104 ENGLISH MUFFIN HELLO, COOL MOOSE U: Carmine’s shirt, prettiest art admirer ever. Me: Tattooed brow, food maker. Made your hello with a smiley-face flag. Art is an experience we can enjoy together. When: Dec. 7. Where: Cool Moose Café Riverside. #1636-1214 DAYCARE DAD ISU when I drop off my daughter. You drop off your little one. Coffee? You: Tallish, tattoos, work boots you take off before entering baby room, absolutely adorable; single? Me: Red hair, always hoping I see you. When: Almost every day. Where: Kids World Academy. #1635-1214
*or any other appropriate site at which folks can engage in a civil union or marriage or whatever … JUNE 7-13, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37
CLASSIFIEDS ROOMMATE SERVICES ALL AREAS Free Roommate Service @ RentMates.com. Find the perfect roommate to complement your personality and lifestyle at RentMates.com! (AAN CAN)(8/23/17)
HELP WANTED PAID IN ADVANCE! Make $1,000 a Week Mailing Brochures from Home! No Experience Required. Helping homeworkers since 2001!
YOUR PORTAL TO REACHING 95,000+ READERS WEEKLY
Genuine Opportunity. Start Immediately! IncomeStation.net (AAN CAN)(7/5/17)
service and…fun. Apply with cover letter and résumé to: apply@delicomb.com
OPERATIONS MANAGER Delicomb, Jacksonville Beach’s most popular coffee and sandwich shop, seeks an experienced food-service operations manager to train, encourage and supervise our staff. Successful candidate will appreciate the care we have invested in our staffi ng choices and add to our spirit of support, customer
FOLIO MEDIA HOUSE WANTS YOU! Immediate Opening! Folio Media House, established 1987, is expanding its reach in Northeast Florida with comprehensive media products. We’re seeking an experienced salesperson to add to our current team. Significant commission potential and mentorship with an industry leader. Main Job Tasks and Responsibilities: Make sales calls to new and existing clients, generate and qualify leads, prepare sales action plans and strategies. Experience in sales required, proven ability to achieve sales targets; Salesforce software knowledge a plus. Key Competencies: money-driven, persuasive, planning and strategizing. If you have a track record of sales success, send a cover letter and résumé for consideration to staylor@folioweekly.com or call Sam at 904-860-2465. JADE SOFTWARE CORPORATION USA is seeking a Terminal Operations Manager in Jacksonville, Florida to manage imports/ exports transportation and logistics systems. Requires 20 years of experience within the Terminal/Port industry as a Business Operations Analyst, Logistics Consultant, Import Operations
Specialist, Vessel Operations and Ship Planning using Terminal Operations Software, Customs clearance software, terminal reports and training teams of operators and terminal operations. Please submit résumé to hr@jadeworld.com HAWKERS is offering award-winning Asian street cuisine to residents and visitors alike in our new Neptune Beach location. Line cooks with two or more years’ experience are advised to fire up a cover letter, attach a recent résumé and shoot to: Brian Chapnick, Brian@EatHawkers.Com. A career in good taste awaits.
FICTITIOUS NAMES NOTICE is hereby given that Thomas F. Hughes, PhD desires to engage in business under the fictitious name of EZERO at PO Box 330693, Jacksonville, FL 32233 and register said name with the Florida Department of State. EZERO is a scientific research and software development company specializing in physical modeling and applications in the chemistry of materials. For more information or general discussion email ezero.technology@gmail.com.
HEALTH MALE ENLARGEMENT PUMP. Get Stronger & Harder Erections Immediately. Gain 1-3 Inches Permanently & Safely. Guaranteed Results. FDA Licensed. Free Brochure: 1-800-354-3944 www.DrJoelKaplan.com (AAN CAN)(6/7/17) 48 PILLS + 4 FREE! VIAGRA 100MG/ CIALIS 20mg Free Pills! No hassle, Discreet Shipping. Save Now. Call Today 1-877-621-7013 (AAN CAN)(6/14/17) MAKE THE CALL TO START GETTING CLEAN TODAY. Free 24/7 Helpline for alcohol & drug addiction treatment. Get help! It is time to take your life back! Call Now: 855-732-4139. (AAN CAN)(6/21/17) A PLACE FOR MOM. The nation’s largest senior living referral service. Contact our trusted, local experts today! Our service is FREE/no obligation. CALL 1-800-295-0938.
ADOPTION PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Call us first. Living expenses, housing, medical, and continued support afterwards. Choose adoptive family of your choice. Call 24/7. 877-362-2401. (AAN CAN)(6/21/17)
DATING LIVELINKS - Chat Lines. Flirt, chat and date! Talk to sexy real singles in your area. Call now! (877) 609-2935. (AAN CAN)(6/14/17)
SERVICES
38 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 7-13, 2017
DISH TV - BEST DEAL EVER! Only $39.99/mo. Plus $14.99/mo. Internet (where avail.) FREE Streaming. FREE Install (up to 6 rooms.) FREE HD-DVR. Call 1-855-654-6616.
FOLIO VOICES : BACKPAGE EDITORIAL “You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.” — ABRAHAM LINCOLN LINCOLN MIGHT BE SURPRISED AT HOW many people are now being fooled by fake news and satire. Wikipedia defines satire as a genre of literature, and sometimes graphic and performing arts, in which vices, follies, abuses and shortcomings are held up to ridicule, ideally with the intent of shaming individuals, corporations, government or society itself into improvement. Ben Franklin, Mark Twain and Will Rogers are some of the United States’ most esteemed satirists. P.J. O’Rourke and Dave Barry are two more recent satirists. From Lenny Bruce, George Carlin and Richard Pryor to America’s current crop of comedians, comics have been using satire to promote their ideologies for decades. Television shows like Saturday Night Live, The Daily Show and many others use satire as well. Like good jokes, satire begins with a premise, an underlying idea. For example, during the 2016 presidential campaign, two frequently used premises were that Donald Trump didn’t have the temperament to be president and Hillary Clinton was a liar. The candidates provided a seemingly endless supply of material. Comedians from sea to shining sea rejoiced! Satire is one of the most prevalent forms of fake news on the Internet. Many of the popular memes that circulate there are satirical. The Onion, The Daily Currant and dozens of other websites specialize in satire. Consumers of news love good satire because it’s usually more interesting to read or view than straight news. However, people don’t always see satirical works the same way. That’s why some folks can get a great laugh out of watching Alec Baldwin and Melissa McCarthy on Saturday Night Live while other viewers, like Sean Spicer and Donald Trump, can barely stomach it. Fortunately, there’s more than enough satire available to ensure that any American can find something to suit his or her tastes. People sometimes take satire at face value. A few years ago, I wrote a piece for The American Thinker titled “Wit Privilege and America’s War on the Witless.” With writing that appeared to be straightforward and even academic, I made the case that funny people have unfair advantages in America. Furthermore, I suggested that if things weren’t made more equitable for the witless, the laughter would have to stop. One commenter asked, “Is this writer serious?” Another asserted that I was a complete idiot. It was a bit of a surprise to me that some readers didn’t understand that the article was a joke. The number of Americans who don’t understand what satire is and how it works seems to be on the rise. PolitiFact recently cranked out an article about President Trump lying 68 percent of the time, according to their data. On their Facebook page, I commented, “There they go again showing their negative perspective on Trump. PolitiFact could have written ‘32 percent on the green side of the meter.’ But, no! They had to put ‘68 percent on the red side.’ It’s all in how you look at it.” Other commenters took my comment very seriously. In a later comment, I added, “I’m not a statistician but I think 32 percent is pretty damned good. I mean, anyone who bats over .300 in the major leagues is having a
WHEN
SATIRE
GOES
WRONG! very good year. Right?” Still, many of the other commenters didn’t get the joke. When you read a piece of satire, there are usually clues to indicate that it is satire. Preposterous headlines and names that sound phony may be indicators of a satirical work. For example, I sometimes write fake news about fake news. One such article was titled “Fake News International to Develop Code of Ethics.” It’s ludicrous to think that producers of fake news have an organization or that they care much about ethics. That article included quotations from Jack O’Lanterni, an unlikely name if ever there was one. Here are other signs that a piece of writing may be satire.
OVERSET
• If an article is from The Onion, The Daily • Currant, The Valley Report or some of • the other well-known satire websites, it’s • fake and potentially very funny, • depending on your taste. • If an article is from somewhere other • than a known satire website, click • through to the About page. If there’s any • mention of satire, entertainment, etc., the • entire website is probably satire. • If you don’t see any clear identifier in • the About page, look over the headlines • of other stories on the website. If some • seem too stupid to be true, all of the • stories on the website may be fake. Occasionally, when a person uses satire, he or she goes too far. Crossing the line has become so routine that there hardly seems to be a line anymore. Kathy Griffin has acknowledged that she went “way over the line” when she was photographed holding a likeness of President Trump’s severed head. Americans from both sides of the political spectrum agreed. It’s refreshing to see that there is indeed a line that should not be crossed. Fake decapitations of President Trump are officially off-limits. In my opinion, chatter about killing people with whom one disagrees, or wishing death upon them, should be mostly off-limits as well. For people who feel like they’re missing some of the jokes coming their way, I’m excited to announce that I will be teaching a course on Remedial Satire in the fall. It’s being offered through the University of Macedonia. The time has come to Make America Laugh Again—with kinder, gentler jokes and citizens who are comedically literate enough to understand them. Danny Murphy mail@folioweekly.com _____________________________________ Murphy, author of Fake News 101: How to Recognize Fake News and Avoid Being Fooled by It, blogs at DannyMurphyAuthor.com and FakeNews101.info.
JUNE 7-13, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 39