07/12/17 A Wing and a Prayer by Folio Weekly

2 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 12-18, 2017

THIS WEEK // 7.12-7.18.17 // VOL. 30 ISSUE 15 COVER STORY

A WING AND

A PRAYER

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White Oak Conservation Foundation joins coalition fighting to save North America’s MOST ENDANGERED BIRD STORY BY CLAIRE GOFORTH

FEATURED D ARTICLES

MARRIAGE OF CONVENIENCE

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BY A.G. GANCARSKI All smiles from Jax Mayor, City Council … FOR NOW

AGED ARRANGEMENTS [10] BY KEITH MARKS LOCAL NONPROFIT brightens days for the elderly

LEADING-EDGE FAKERS [31] BY DARBY NICKLESS Jacksonville’s new ROCK ALTERNATIVE station forgets its roots

COLUMNS + CALENDARS MAIL/B&B FROM THE EDITOR OUR PICKS FIGHTIN’ WORDS NEWSENSE NEWS MUSIC

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FILM ARTS LISTING LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR DINING DIRECTORY BITE-SIZED PINT-SIZED CHEFFED-UP

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PETS CROSSWORD ASTROLOGY NEWS OF THE WEIRD I SAW U CLASSIFIEDS BACKPAGE

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EDITOR • Claire Goforth claire@folioweekly.com / ext. 115 SENIOR EDITOR • Marlene Dryden mdryden@folioweekly.com / ext. 131 A&E EDITOR • Daniel A. Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com / ext. 128 EDITORIAL INTERN • Caroline Trussell CARTOONIST • Tom Tomorrow CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Rob Brezsny, John E. Citrone, Josue Cruz, Julie Delegal, Susan Cooper Eastman, Marvin Edwards, A.G. Gancarski, Dan Hudak, Shelton Hull, MaryAnn Johanson, Mary Maguire, Keith Marks, Pat McLeod, Nick McGregor, Greg Parlier, Kara Pound, Dale Ratermann, Nikki Sanders, Matthew B. Shaw, Chuck Shepherd, Brentley Stead, Chef Bill Thompson, Marc Wisdom VIDEOGRAPHERS • Doug Lewis, Ron Perry, Carl Rosen

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THE MAIL CREATING JOBS OUT OF THIN WATER

RE.: “The Deep Water War,” by Claire Goforth, June 28 THE ASIAN SHIPPING COMPANIES WORKING with JaxPort to get hundreds of millions of dollars in public money to pay for a seemingly routine private business expense have inspired me. If they can get all that money for digging a hole in the river, what if I got a measly $5 million to build a house on the ocean (to “create jobs,” of course, not for my own personal enrichment, wink, wink)? So here is my proposal to Mayor Lenny Curry and the Jacksonville City Council: If subsidizing private companies is an essential municipal government function, well, so is subsidizing private citizens. Give me the moolah to build an oceanfront mansion, and I’ll create 37 Direct Jobs in Jacksonville by hiring construction firms to build my palace–jobs for roofers, framers, architects and home inspectors. But wait, there’s more. I’ll create another 19 “Indirect Jobs,” when the firms I hire spend money locally (I didn’t make it up, it’s a real thing) even though they probably would have done that anyway and it seems pretty unrelated to the employment I’m “creating” and, frankly, a little absurd. But them’s the rules (that highly favor my project). Yay, I get to count jobs I had nothing to do with creating. Even better, I’ll create 37 more “Induced Jobs” when the people who worked at the firms I hired spend their paychecks at grocery stores and healthcare providers. You might say, hey, isn’t that double counting? Oh, no, I get credit for this as well. (Also a real thing.) And frankly, I’m probably undercounting. What if one of the employees at the grocery store or healthcare provider also spends money and creates a job? And then that person spends money and creates a job? Create, create, create. Really, before you know it, my project has created every single job in Jacksonville (kind

of like a game of Six Degrees of Government Bacon...er, Pork). Now, you might find my numbers ridiculous or absurd. But don’t worry, I didn’t come up with them. I’m going to hire a consultant to come up with them (looky there, I just “created” another “job” without even trying). And you know the consultant’s numbers are extremely trustworthy because they’re professionals–they get paid by organizations like me to say they’re creating lots of jobs for things. And why on Earth would I pay them if they didn’t create the numbers I want to see … uh, I mean, create accurate forecasts? So what do you say, City Council and other government entities? With this Letter to the Editor (oh, just created a job for an editor and I wasn’t even trying; add another one to the list), I make my official request. But you have to do it quickly. Before you know it, everyone will have government-funded mansions on the ocean, and then my job numbers will be useless. Daniel Burstein via email

HIP HOP HOORAY

RE.: “The Bard and the Breakbeat,” by Daniel A. Brown, June 28 A WELL-DESERVED HONOR FOR SUCH A brilliant brother! Thank you for the shout in the article and being there for so many years! We’re at the precipice of greater endeavors and I’m honored to be included, brother! Ulysses Prince via Facebook

OINK, OINK

RE.: “Mere Morsels,” by Dave Scott, June 21 THANK YOU FOR PUTTING IT OUT THERE. YOU were spot-on about restaurant trends, snooty folks, etc. Come see us sometime, and get your belly full! P.S. No small plates allowed! Gary Park, G’s Slow Smoked BBQ via email

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BRICKBATS + BOUQUETS BRICKBATS TO PAMELA LEWIS Legalization of medical marijuana, such as it exists under a legislature so afraid of cancer patients with the munchies it can’t pass legislation to allow them to smoke it, has provided endless opportunities for local politicians to sound, well, stupid. Case in point: Green Cove Springs Councilmember Pamela Lewis, who, according to a Clay Today report, said of medical marijuana dispensaries, “I don’t want it in our community.” Psst: Weed is the least of the drug problems in Clay County, where more than 70 percent of the voters elected to legalize medical marijuana ’cause, you know, cancer sucks. BOUQUETS TO CONNOR DOLBY Connor Dolby, a University of North Florida junior studying fine art, recently won Best Sound and Best Drama for his short film, Luminous, at the national Campus Moviefest Conference in Atlanta. For the fiveminute film, which shows a mysterious man trying to rid the world of criminals, Dolby also got noms for Best Picture, Best Directing and Best Cinematography. Kudos to this talented up-and-comer! BRICKBATS TO MV TRANSPORTATION As reported by the Florida TimesUnion, MV Transportation, which has a contract with Jacksonville Transportation Authority, recently caught drivers changing pickup times for disabled passengers to make it look like late pickups had been on time. The accused employees were immediately fired and JTA says, according to the T-U, that it’s fixed the feature that allowed drivers to surreptitiously alter travel data. DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? HOW ABOUT A BRICKBAT? Send submissions to mail@folioweekly.com; 50 word maximum, concerning a person, place, or topic of local interest. 4 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 12-18, 2017

FROM THE EDITOR THERE’S A DEADLY PREDATOR LURKING IN your yard. A sneaky, bloodthirsty menace who kills for sport, often without cause. I am, of course, referring to you. People who love the great outdoors develop a fondness for all its creatures, even the creepy, crawly, biting ones. Except yellow flies. #Die4Eva But many people encounter wildlife only in the little green squares of domesticated bliss surrounding their homes: the lawn. Within these spaces some are welcome, but not all. Butterflies? The more, the merrier. Birds? Yes, provided they don’t shit on the car, commit suicide flying into windows, try to make a meal of the family lapdog, or nest in the attic. Frogs? Hey, why not? (Just not Pepe.) If it bites us or destroys our stuff, freaking forget it. Whatever it is, it dies. Spiders, snakes, rats, the dread mosquitoes? Dead. Dead. DEAD. You’d kill ’em twice if you could. Poison, a newspaper, a garden spade, whatever it takes, even your bare hands, right? Lord knows, there are plenty of reasons to stop bombing your block to holy hell to “control” mosquitoes, but for the moment, let’s focus on vertebrates, namely snakes and rats. (Full disclosure: I’m gonna keep slapping mosquitoes when they bite me. It’s an innate response as automatic as flushing Saturday night’s toxins. Thanks, liver. Sorry/not sorry.) Let’s cover slitherin’ first. I get it. You don’t like snakes. They’re scary, some of ’em are poisonous, and they’re often depicted as the devil himself. They’re also innocent creatures vital to the food chain, the vast majority are not poisonous, and 99.9 percent of the time, you can send them fleeing for their lives with these masterful tactics: speaking loudly, stamping your foot, doing nothing, vaguely tossing a wood chip or tiny stick in their general direction without hitting the poor thing. You can also walk, or, if you prefer, run away. Hand to god, I’ve never been chased by a snake. Yes, snakes do sometimes bite people, usually idiots, which should be maybe considered a public service—the Florida man who tried to “kiss” a rattlesnake comes to mind. And some of the poisonous ones should not be allowed to nest in and around one’s home for safety’s sake. If you encounter a snake in your home or garden, first try to identify it. Buy an Audubon Society Field Guide to Florida—it’ll be handier than you think. Failing that, Google it, or ask a friend; social media does have more uses than wasting your life creating Gifs, hate-reading

Ann Coulter and indulging in a human centipede ego feed. If it’s a garden, rat, corn, black, or other nonvenomous snake, leave it be. If it’s inside the house, purchase a simple box trap—Walmart sells them—and relocate it. If it’s poisonous, you can trap it yourself, or call a humane wildlife removal service, like Critter Control of Jacksonville or First Coast Wildlife Services; for a fee they’ll come and take away the legless stuff of your nightmares. As to the rats, bats, sparrows, squirrels, moles and more, the feathered and furry things you’re OK with, maybe even fond of, until they build a nest in your box of New Kids on the Block tees, forever staining Joey’s face with animal afterbirth. Stop Poisoning Them. Not only is it a horrible way to die, it’s also killing a whole host of things that aren’t responsible for the high crime of ruining your retro-cool ’80s outfit. Here’s what often happens when you use poison: The subject of your reign of death crawls off somewhere to die. Carnivores, such as birds of prey, or creatures that eat carrion, make it into a tasty meal, blithely unaware that they may as well be eating glass. Not only are you murdering hawks, bald eagles, bobcats, and all the other carnivores unlucky enough to eat that mouse, rat or squirrel, you could also be poisoning people’s pets. A few months ago, some yahoo in Arlington decided they’d had enough of the raccoons who—the horror!—walked from the woods to the river at night. They weren’t rabid; nobody with the sense to shut their trashcans was waking up to the aftermath of a raccoon food orgy. They just didn’t like them. So they sprinkled poison about. Soon raccoon corpses were washing up in low-lying yards every time it rained. A fragrant cologne if there ever was one. An aging, beloved dog from the down the street also turned up dead. Seems the yahoo didn’t clearly label the poison “raccoons only.” That, or the dog couldn’t read. I strongly urge you to stop killing the creatures who just want to live in harmony among your hedges and discarded sporting gear. If you must purge them from the castle grounds, trap them or hire somebody else to do it. Our shared birth mother, Mother Nature, will thank you. And your friends and neighbors might stop calling you a yahoo. Claire Goforth claire@folioweekly.com @ClaireNJax

SNAKE IN THE GRASS Exposing a MURDERER

JULY 12-18, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5

RAUCOUS ’N’ ROLL SUPERSUCKERS SUPERSUCKERS

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FRI

OUR PICKS CAVERNOUS SOUNDS

THE CAVE SINGERS These indie rockers evolved (see what we did there?) out of the post-Y2K-punk scene and, in the past decade, have released five winning records. The Cave Singers’ signature sound can zip through styles and genres, like plucking out rootsy tunes in proggy time signatures, while throwing some flute, melodica and other “non-rock” sounds into the musical action. 8:30 p.m. Saturday, July 15 with openers The Best of Synthia; The Original Café Eleven, St. Augustine Beach, $12 advance; $15 door, originalcafe11.com. SAT

REASONS TO LEAVE THE HOUSE THIS WEEK FRI

CLOWNING AROUND PUDDLES PITY PARTY LIVE

THU

COUNTRY TIME DIERKS BENTLEY

In the past 15 years, country fave Bentley has racked up 25 hit singles, including 15 No. 1s, ranging from “Come a Little Closer” to (our favorite) “Drunk on a Plane.” The Arizona-born Bentley was still in his teens when he first rose to prominence in the country scene and has consistently impressed fans and critics alike, earning a Grammy nomination and big CMA and CMT wins. Bentley’s latest, his 10th release, is 2016’s Black. 7 p.m. Thursday, July 13; openers Cole Swindell and Jon Pardi; Daily’s Place, Downtown, $75-$225, dailysplace.com. 6 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 12-18, 2017

Are you in the mood to witness a sevenfoot-tall clown sing in a distinct, melodious baritone? You’re in luck! Viral video fave Puddles Pity Party (aka Mike Geier), known for his collaboration with Scott Bradlee’s Postmodern Jukebox and their version of “Royals,” appearances at Edinburgh Fringe Festival, and performances on Aqua Teen Hunger Force Live Tour, brings his humorous, uniquely bizarre and somewhat unsettling show to town this week. 8 p.m. Friday, July 14, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, $33-$43, pvconcerthall.com.

WED

REEL FRIGHTS CREEPSHOW

Written by Stephen King and directed by George A. Romero, 1982’s Creepshow is one of the funnier and, well, creepier offerings in the horror genre. Featuring an ensemble cast, including Hal Holbrook, Adrienne Barbeau, and a bugged-out E.G. Marshall, the five-part, dark-comedic cult classic ranges from a Father’s Day celebration to an odd new pet–that kills! A filmic tribute to the EC comics that King and Romero grew up reading, the film gets big points for being framed with a comic-book-like feel and the always killer makeup FX of fellow EC fan Tom Savini. 7 p.m. Wednesday, July 19, Sun-Ray Cinema, Riverside, $9.50; $8 military, teachers, students; $7 seniors; $5.50 kids 12 and under, sunraycinema.com.

JULY 12-18, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7

FOLIO VOICES : FIGHTIN’ WORDS All smiles from Jax Mayor, City Council … FOR NOW

MARRIAGE OF

CONVENIENCE ONE OF THE LIMITATIONS OF POLITICAL rhetoric is the idea that every disagreement is a zero-sum game. That may be true in the posturing of initial positions, but history teaches us that each party learns sooner or later that they have to find a way forward after a disagreement. As readers of this space know, this year’s race for Jacksonville City Council President was a contentious one. Some who backed the eventual winner, Anna Lopez Brosche, thought the Mayor’s Office waded in on behalf of the defeated John R. Crescimbeni. Others acutely familiar with the thinking of the Mayor’s Office assert that if the Mayor’s Office had waded in, everyone involved would’ve noted it—in other words, NBD that JRC took the KO loss. Whatever happened, it’s all over now—and everyone is going to learn to work together again, for what Lenny Curry calls a third year in a row of “winning.” Even before the official budget drops Monday morning, we have a good indication of how the Curry Administration intends to offer positive and negative reinforcement, all of it designed to ensure that One City, One Jacksonville doesn’t end up in the slogan graveyard (See: ‘Where Florida Begins’) before Curry files for re-election. Councilors—specifically, new Finance Committee Chair Garrett Dennis—got a special tutorial last month. Dennis wanted $200,000 of unencumbered general fund money for swimming lessons for underprivileged youth, even though there was no plan to deploy this money, no staff to teach the lessons, among other issues. Against the dismal backdrop of kids drowning in backyard pools every other news cycle, Dennis’ pitch had emotional appeal. However, there was also a competing reality: the Mayor’s Office didn’t support the bill on the grounds that such allocations should be made during the August/September budget process and not shoehorned in at the end of a fiscal year. Dennis carried his bill through committees, saying that it should pass for the same reason that Bill Gulliford’s opioid treatment pilot program bill (“Guilt Trip,” July 5) passed. “If they don’t support my bill, they don’t support Bill Gulliford’s bill … They are both crises … opioid epidemic and the drowning epidemic,” said Dennis, with funds from the “same pot of money.” And Dennis labored to make that point— he and his allies tore down the Gulliford 8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 12-18, 2017

legislation, with one (Danny Becton) labeling entreaties to vote for opioid treatment a “guilt trip,” and another (Katrina Brown) saying that “death is death.” A recurring theme throughout committees that week: Just maybe, the overdose crisis is the fault of those pumping the needles in their own arms. That’s how pitched it got. Of course, Gulliford’s bill was approved. Dennis ended up withdrawing his, though he was able to save face because Mayor Curry has a much bigger swimming lessons program planned for Monday’s budget. So win/win. Sort of. But Dennis learned a lesson. The Mayor’s Office could’ve endorsed the play; what’s $200K, after all? But, as one person familiar with the office’s thinking put it, they destroyed the bill. It wasn’t about the money. It was about the principle of the thing. And the principle was that Dennis and Brosche’s allies who got her elected were getting a bit too breezy … and, goes the narrative, the Mayor’s Office worked behind the scenes to sink Dennis’ play for headlines and heroism. Glub, glub, glub. No matter how it went down, the swimming lessons bill was dead. But hope springs eternal, and Dennis was given a re-election talking point last week when Curry announced plans to spend $8.4M on Edward Waters College. Money would go to dorm rehab, including $4.4M for mold abatement, a persistent problem in many EWC structures. And $4M more would go for a community field. On hand at EWC for the photo op/presser: Garrett Dennis and the three other Finance Committee African-American Democrats … the swing votes in Brosche’s win. Councilwoman Katrina Brown flipped the script on the mayor by conducting an interview with him and the aforementioned committee members at the event. Curry looked less than thrilled as he soldiered through talking points in the early part of the segment, but he pushed through anyway, giving Brown what she wanted. “The mayor’s committed to working with everybody to make sure it’s One City, One Jacksonville,” Brown said during her energetic spiel. That was a celebration—and a warning shot. And all Curry could say at the end? “One City, One Jax.” A.G. Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com @AGGancarski

FOLIO VOICES : NEWSENSE

ADVERTISING TODAY

A FULL-PAGE AD IN A RECENT WEEKEND edition of the Wall Street Journal caught my eye, but not because I was interested in the product or because it was so clever it made me pause to read it. Nope, there was nothing to read. The color ad, which took up the entire back page of the paper’s “Off Duty” section, featured a confused-looking young woman, about 18 to 21, who appeared to have cut her own hair with her dad’s pruning shears, wearing a pair of googley-eyed party sunglasses, looking like she got dressed in a windstorm in clothing several sizes too large. At the bottom of the ad was the word “Chanel.” That’s it, nothing else. I checked the WSJ’s rate card and the ad on that page cost a whopping $398,147.58. I used to be in the public relations and advertising business. I don’t think I’d cut it today. Half the time, I’m not even sure what the products are or what the message is. The few TV ads that I vaguely understand involve car insurance, beer and a middle-aged woman explaining how she finally found relief after being constipated since the Reagan Administration. The car insurance ones feature a lizard, a gal who looks like a waitress in a cheap diner, and a guy who blows himself up. They want me to buy their insurance, but I’m not clear what the benefits are, as nowhere are the benefits mentioned. Here’s my take on the WSJ Chanel ad. (My editor says the ad is for the sunglasses. I say if you can’t tell what they’re advertising, let your imagination guide you. This ad stinks, so it must be for perfume.) Perfume ads should appeal to basic instincts. Ancient Greeks and Romans used scents in the public baths because those places reeked like a fraternity house bathroom on a Sunday morning … think the elephant barn in the circus on a hot summer day. Somewhere during the 14th through 16th centuries, Europeans—who believed regular bathing was an unnecessary nuisance and a health hazard—started using perfumes to mask their neighbors’, families’ and the king’s and queen’s knock-you-over BO. When my wife and I were touring castles in England, a tour guide told us that in “olden times” the king and his entourage changed castles frequently because they had no indoor plumbing, so the royals and their pals pooped behind the draperies. (Honest, they really told us that.) So King What’s-His-Name—who clearly didn’t marry the queen for her exceptional

housekeeping skills—and his groupies moved from poopy palace to non-poopy palace, followed by a 15th-century hazmat crew. With the introduction of soap, indoor plumbing, bathtubs and crowded rock venues, perfumes transformed. They became a symbol of an evolved and refined society, much like the crowds found at a Pitbull or Young Thug concert. They emit scents that evoke memories, trigger senses, boost confidence, make folks happy and result in unwanted pregnancies. So how does the $400,000 Chanel ad picturing a disheveled, bespectacled young gal with hair that looks like she combed it with a egg beater convey that message? I’d be interested in hearing from anybody who bought a Chanel product based on that ad; I have some stuff in my garage that would interest you. I’m convinced the ad was produced by a group of experts who studied advertising by watching Mad Men and received their degrees from the “Close Cover Before Striking School of Advertising and Septic Tank Cleaning.” Here’s how I envision the conception of the Chanel ad taking place: A Don Draper wannabe and several advertising agency staff members are seated around a large conference room table. DD wannabe: “Does everybody have a full glass of whiskey and lots of cigarettes, as this meeting could last 15 minutes?” Account Executive: “Our client, Chanel, has a boatload of money and they want us to develop an ad campaign that will sell its stuff. Does anybody want a hit from this doobie?” DD wannabe (smoking a blunt): “Help yourself to the brownies. Hey, here’s a picture of a funky chick I picked up at a club last night who looks like she got dressed in a windstorm and combed her hair with an egg-beater. What can I say, it was closing time.” AE (smoking the doobie): “Hey, man, why don’t we use that photo in a $400,000 Wall Street Journal Chanel ad?” DD wannabe (pouring a glass of whiskey and lighting a cigarette): “Great idea. Now let’s go have a three-hour lunch and drink martinis before we hit happy hour.” I think I got out of that business just in time. Dave Scott davidnscott@bellsouth.net _____________________________________

… I Just Don’t GET IT

Scott is a former newspaper reporter and retired corporate and agency public relations professional. He blogs at davescottblog.com.

JULY 12-18, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9

FOLIO O O COMMUNITY COMMUNITY : NEWS WS

AGED

Local nonprofit BRIGHTENS DAYS for the elderly

ARRANGEMENTS

Bouquets of Kindness repurposes flowers once destined for the trash heap. “Bouquets of Kindness has given my dad a creative outlet. When my father first moved to assisted living, he had come out of two months of intense physical therapy,” says Rebecca McNeill, daughter of a resident of one of the facilities Bouquets of Kindness serves. “He could not walk long distances without his walker … stand[ing] for long periods of time [would wipe] him out. With the help of many caregivers and physical therapists, he has mobility back, but was still challenged. “One afternoon, when flower arranging, he stood for one hour and a half before taking a break. By the flower donations being delivered to his home at assisted living, we can just walk down the hall and he can create. I can’t thank them enough.” As the nonprofit grows through donations from the community and corporate sponsorships, the organization hopes to run things from a processing facility where Boy and Girl Scout Troops, homeschool groups, and other local community organizations could become part of the volunteer network. Kirkwood imagines a time when each organization could adopt a particular facility and build relationships through flowers. At the moment, it continues as a momand-pop organization fronted by Kirkwood and her husband Clark. (The two also own and manage Clark’s Music on the Westside.) Kirkwood delivers flowers in her 2013 Ford Fusion, pooling donations for gas for her volunteers, buying supplies for facilities, and building her network as a one-woman show looking to build bridges between young and old, one floral arrangement at a time. “This work is critical to show that those folks are still important and people are still thinking of them—some of them have no visitors at all,” says Kirkwood. “Just that spark of brightness for their room makes a big change for them and us. It matters … they matter.” Keith Marks mail@folioweekly.com _____________________________________ More information at bouquetsofkindness.org.

photo courtesy Bouquets of Kindness

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SOPHISTICATION USED TO CARRY STATUS. Jazz used to be hip. Having life experience meant you were someone with answers. In short, the older you got, the more value you had to society. Somewhere along the way, the script got flipped. Youth is the order of the day; we have collectively swallowed the idolization of youth culture. The elderly are relegated to nursing homes, eldercare facilities, assisted living, retirement homes, etc. to pass their remaining days, often forgotten and ignored by collective society. A new 501(c)3 nonprofit launched last year with a mission to bring life, connection and color to Northeast Florida’s older population is Bouquets of Kindness. Founded by Lisa Kirkwood, the organization works with florists, wedding planners, floral designers, and local merchants to repurpose flowers once destined for the trash. The flowers make their way, by way of Bouquets of Kindness’ volunteers, to assisted living and other senior facilities where seniors gather to assemble bouquets for their rooms, their facilities and for loved ones. “The impact is felt each and every time a delivery of fresh flowers arrives from Bouquets of Kindness—there are ooh’s and ah’s received as they see her bring them in. The camaraderie, excitement and joy it brings as they gather together to arrange is precious,” says Kathy Rhoden, service coordinator for Riverside Presbyterian House, a public housing facility in 5 Points. “One of the ladies owned a flower shop for years, so she teaches as she arranges. Some residents cut stems, one will hand the vases to her, ones who can’t cut will fill vases with water, some deliver to a resident recently home from rehab or the hospital, or one just having a bad day, a hospice resident, or maybe pinning a broken flower on the lapel of a staff person always puts smiles on their faces.” Currently every week more than 100 bouquets are made and placed in facilities in the Riverside, Avondale and Ortega areas, at an estimated weekly value of around $5,000 in flowers. Since its inception, Bouquets of Kindness has delivered approximately 5,000 bouquets. Kirkwood’s home serves as a makeshift office and floral studio, receiving three to four deliveries a week. Her core team of volunteers, currently numbering around a half-dozen, diligently unloads, cuts and processes the flowers, getting them ready for senior hands. In addition to the flowers, volunteers bring containers for making bouquets, scissors and other supplies that many of these facilities lack. Bouquets of Kindness will deliver fresh bouquets to facilities or work with those facilities to provide “flower therapy” for residents, allowing the seniors to partake in making their own arrangements.

White Oak Conservation Foundation joins the coalition fighting to

SAVE NORTH AMERICA’S MOST ENDANGERED BIRD

A WING AND A

PRAYER

HE CLOCK IS TICKING. ANY MINUTE, HE could get called away for a momentous occasion—the birth of his brother’s first child. But at present, Andrew Schumann has other firstborns on his mind: 18 Florida grasshopper sparrows. A lot is riding on the survival of these tiny chicks no larger than a fingertip upon hatching; with 50 to 60 remaining in the wild, if captive breeding fails, their kind may disappear from the planet. As animal collection manager at White Oak Conservation Foundation, Schumann, along with his team of two keepers and two interns, manages bird programs on the 13,000-acre White Oak Plantation miles down a dirt road in rural Yulee. Driving around the property feels something like taking a worldwide safari in an afternoon: You’ll see three of the five remaining rhinoceros species (Indian, white and southern black) cavorting in open fields, feed bay leaves to a crèche of reticulated giraffes, admire the magnificently curving horns of the lesser kudu and the striking stripes of the okapi, get a good look at one of few remaining Père David’s deer, a species that is extinct in the wild. There is no place quite like it. White Oak is not merely a showpiece, however; it is a state-of-theart research facility working to save some of the world’s most critically endangered species. The flock Schumann oversees comes from the Earth’s far corners—the Amazon rain forest, sub-Saharan Africa, subtropical U.S., New Guinea. The avian assembly has hues so vibrant, they could blend into a Leonid Afremov painting— double-wattled cassowaries, Mississippi sandhill cranes, southern ground hornbills; creatures so exotic they may well be the stuff dreams are made on—statuesque wattled cranes, palm cockatoos with smoky-grey mohawks, blue-billed curassows with kinky, inky-black crowns. And now Florida grasshopper sparrows. Tipping the scales at barely an ounce, with black and grey plumage streaked in brown and yellowish-brown, these secretive ground-dwellers from South Central Florida have not the size, the distant homeland, nor the dramatic appearance of many of their neighbors at White Oak. Schumann’s fondness for them is obvious, nevertheless. He describes the “delicate” way they disassemble grasshoppers before eating them, noting with a chuckle that “they like green ones.” The few who are familiar with this diminutive songbird seem to have a soft spot for them, understandably so; they’re just so darn cute, hopping about with a plucky tenacity that calls to mind the sweet precociousness of children. Researchers’ fondness for the Florida grasshopper sparrow certainly can’t hurt, for the birds need all the help they can get. Their numbers have plummeted so rapidly in the last several years that scholars estimate the likelihood of the Florida grasshopper sparrow’s extinction in coming years at approximately 20 percent. Many believe the odds are even higher. “It seems pretty grim,” Schumann said. No one is giving up, though—far from it. A herculean effort is currently underway to pull the sparrow back from the brink of extinction. With its breeding program, for which it receives some federal funds, White Oak is the most recent addition to a large coalition that includes U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service (USFWS), Florida Fish & Wildlife Conservation Commission, the Florida Grasshopper Sparrow Working Group, the National Audubon Society, Rare Species Conservatory Foundation, Archbold Biological Station and Florida Park Service, among others, racing against the clock to save the Florida grasshopper sparrow.

IRST IDENTIFIED IN 1901 IN SOUTHERN OSCEOLA County, the Florida grasshopper sparrow was recognized as a distinct subspecies of the Eastern grasshopper sparrow in 1910. The two so closely resemble one another that only in the hand can a trained eye differentiate them. The Florida grasshopper sparrow has a thicker bill, darker coloring with more grey plumage and, most important, unlike its Eastern cousin, the Floridian subspecies is nonmigratory, remaining within miles of its birth throughout its lifetime. It’s one of few species that is truly, and only, Floridian. The sparrow resides exclusively on the dry prairie of the state’s southern interior, a harsh, unforgiving ecosystem prone

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STORY BY CLAIRE GOFORTH JULY 12-18, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11

A WING & A

PRAYER <<< FROM PREVIOUS

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photo courtesy Rare Species Conservatory Foundation

to frequent fires and occasional floods, where the sun beats mercilessly from a wideopen sky. Vegetation in its habitat primarily consists of clumps of native grasses, dwarf oaks and saw palmetto. It nests on the ground of this grassland, consuming bugs and a sizable minority of seeds. Though it does eat the insect, the sparrows are named for one of its calls, a buzzing, grasshopperlike sound. The decline of the Florida grasshopper sparrow began, by most counts, in the earlyto-mid-20th Century, when most of its habitat was lost to citrus, sod and pine farms and pasture lands. Today between 5 and 15 percent of the Florida dry prairie remains. The remaining 45,000 hectares is in mostly isolated pockets scattered throughout its original territory. In 1978, the state listed the Florida grasshopper sparrow as endangered; in 1986, it was added to the federal endangered species list. That year, official counts estimated there were 1,000 in the wild. Despite the fragmentary nature of its remaining habitat, the population remained relatively stable for many years. In 2004, Florida Fish & Wildlife Conservation Commission (FWC) reported that there were 1,000 Florida grasshopper sparrows in the wild. Sometime between the midaughts and 2012, first one, then another subpopulation went into freefall until there were steep losses across all populations. Nesting success plummeted, as did the over-winter survival rates for males. In just over a decade, the Florida grasshopper sparrow population has declined by nearly 95 percent. In the initial scramble, everyone knew they were disappearing, but no one knew why. Similar factors affect subgroups, but no one has been able to identify a unifying cause for its rapid decline. Today, researchers and land managers say that there may be no single smoking gun. “This is 10 problems, maybe 20,” said Schumann. Paul Reillo, president of the Rare Species Conservatory Foundation (RSCF), the first facility to launch a Florida grasshopper sparrow captive breeding program, agrees. “[It is] most likely a combination of factors: habitat conversion, climate change, fire ants.” This list is by no means comprehensive. Invasive hogs are another factor. Predation by other native and nonnative species is another. More extreme weather patterns also have a part in this. Competition for food from nonnative species may also contribute; so too may the effect of pest-control methods on insect populations. Nevertheless, the speed with which the tiny birds have vanished from the landscape mystifies those who have worked for decades to save the Florida grasshopper sparrow. Land managers have done an exceptional job restoring and improving existing habitat; researchers have generated much-needed data on behavior, diet, life cycle, etc.; USFWS has also contributed significantly with both funding and public outreach. With more problems than solutions, it has become a sprint to preserve what remains of the wild population, and rescue and breed as many as possible and simultaneously identify the cause for the sudden drop in population.

Captive-born Florida grasshopper sparrows at Rare Species Conservatory Foundation (pictued) and White Oak may be the future of the species.

HERE HAD BEEN TALK OF STARTING a breeding program, but the necessity was seen as relatively low until unprecedented numbers of Florida grasshopper sparrows started disappearing from the wild. In 2015, wildlife officials rescued eggs from flooded nests and transported them to RSCF; of the 23 eggs, incredibly, 21 hatched. They were the first to hatch from incubation. “That’s kind of a major feat technologically because those eggs are so, so small,” said Reillo. Today, some of those same sparrows are in RSCF’s breeding program, a huge, and crucial, feat for any such endeavor. As “naïve” birds who have never bred before, the sparrows’ first nesting attempts this year were a bit hit-or-miss, with females sometimes laying eggs outside the nest, then not sitting them. (Researchers remove these eggs and incubate them. On July 1, RSCF hatched the first egg to be incubated from day one—another major coup.) As the breeding season, which runs roughly from April to July, has continued, the birds’ performance has improved. In yet another positive sign, genetic testing has found that the birds are not suffering from inbreeding depression, which often affects endangered species. These successes have researchers feeling cautiously optimistic. Still, captive breeding is essentially a Hail Mary attempt to save a species. Sometimes it works; sometimes it doesn’t. Both White Oak and RSCF have incorporated lessons learned from other programs, such as the dusky seaside sparrow breeding program, which failed to save that species from dying out in 1987. In the case of the dusky seaside sparrow, which lived in the salt marshes of Merritt Island and the St. Johns River west of Titusville, the breeding program began too late. Others, such as the California condor program, have successfully thwarted extinction. A lot depends on how a creature responds to captive breeding. Happily, perhaps miraculously, not only can Florida grasshopper sparrows be successfully handreared, an intense undertaking that requires feedings every 30 minutes to an hour for 18 to 24 hours a day for the first week and a half or so; they can breed very well in captivity.

“We learned a lot of stuff with Eastern [grasshopper sparrows]; we’re applying that to Florida grasshopper sparrows,” said Andrew Schumann, animal collection manager at White Oak.

White Oak started with three wild-caught pairs and five offspring. By mid-June, they had 18 chicks. Researchers have observed sparrows attempting five nestings in a single season, and Schumann said that by the time the breeding season ends, their sparrows could rear as many as 24 more. Wild-caught pairs always breed better than birds raised in captivity, but RSCF has found that even captive-raised sparrows will successfully breed. White Oak’s management style differs from most breeding programs, where birds are kept in a more traditional, controlled environment. Its sparrow enclosures are built atop a grassy area, each measuring 30 feet long, 8 feet wide and 8 feet high, creating as close to a natural habitat as possible. “I found a spot that, if I was a grasshopper sparrow, I would live there,” Schumann said of how the site was selected. White Oak also has two “flight” enclosures measuring 60 feet long, 16 feet wide and 7 feet high, which Schumann says is approximately 50 times the normal size. Though it’s more than 200 miles north of the sparrow’s habitat, the open field containing the 14 enclosures, six of which

house Eastern grasshopper sparrows, which White Oak bred as it designed the program for the Floridian subspecies, does remind one of a miniature prairie. Schumann said they were encouraged when, during migration, some Eastern sparrows stopped over for a while before continuing northward. Breeding in a more natural environment does present some challenges, though. Before they could safely breed sparrows, the team had to contend with more than 90 invasive fire ant nests nearby. Controlling these voracious eaters with poison is not only relatively ineffective, it could harm the sparrows—a non-option. They brought in entomologist Joshua King, a University of Central Florida associate professor who has developed a diesel-powered machine that heats a large quantity of water to 150°F, which is then pumped into ant mounds with a probe, killing all within minutes. First used to great success in 2015 to control fire ants near sea turtle nests at Fort de Soto, King’s provisionally patented, eco-friendly breakthrough in ant control is a lifeline for the Florida grasshopper sparrow.

photo courtesy Rare Species Conservatory Foundation

Hand-rearing Florida grasshopper sparrows hatched from incubation (above left, at RSCF) is an arduous undertaking requiring ’round the clock care. The enclosures at White Oak (above, right) are exceptionally large and similar to its native habitat. King said that though it’s long been known that hot water kills fire ants, before his invention, there was no practical way to do it in the field, a source of great consternation for researchers. “What we’ve seen with the grasshopper sparrow, [ants] kill all the hatchlings that emerge,” King said. Now when wildlife officials locate a nest, they place fencing around it to keep out other predators, such as snakes or even cattle on private land, then King follows, driving in with the machine on a trailer to treat all ant mounds within 10 meters of the nest. “The combined effort has resulted in not losing any chicks … this is making everybody happy,” King said.

IRE ANT PREDATION DOESN’T explain the sudden drop in all populations, however. Erin Ragheb, an FWC assistant research scientist, studies Florida grasshopper sparrows at Three Lakes Wildlife Management Area, which, along with Avon Park Bombing Range and Kissimmee Prairie Preserve State Park, is one of three public lands where the sparrows are found. (There are a handful on private lands as well.) Unlike the other two, Ragheb said, Three Lakes, where the largest wild population resides, had identified only one possible case of ant predation. This year, nest cams revealed that snakes and Eastern spotted skunks, all native species, were helping themselves to the tasty babies Reillo referred to as “the potato chip of the bird world.” Three Lakes is currently exploring solutions. Improving lower-than-usual rates of nesting success is critical, but that alone will probably not save the Florida grasshopper sparrow. “There is no subpopulation that is doing well. There’s no subpopulation that is doing less badly than the others,” said Reillo. “They’re all crashing very badly.” Most of the dry prairie was converted decades ago and land managers have developed precise techniques that today offer more and better habitat than had existed for many years. Yet before their population collapsed, the sparrows weren’t utilizing all the existing habitat and nest predation, though serious, doesn’t alone explain the freefall. “We’ve recorded low rates of adult animal survival but we have not pinpointed the cause,” said Ragheb. Recently, scientists may have come a crucial step closer to solving the mystery. Birds that perished in captivity, including juvenile offspring born in captivity, have provided researchers tissue samples that may help them understand what is killing the sparrows. “A suite of potential diseases

are affecting these birds in the wild and in captivity and a suppressed immune system could very well be part of that puzzle,” said Reillo. “… The suppressed immune system could make those diseases far more serious.” They are working with the University of Georgia College of Veterinary Medicine Infectious Disease Laboratory and the University of Florida to identify the cause. It’s still in the early phases, but, if successful, they may figure out a common denominator that could possibly reveal how to save the Florida grasshopper sparrow. “The key to this, in terms of the little bit of the science, is if we can isolate these pathogens, then we can culture them, which means we have them growing somewhere, then we can sequence them,” said Reillo. “… Hopefully, we can engineer a solution. Maybe it’s already there; some birds could be already resistant.” This breakthrough, along with the early successes with captive breeding, have breathed fresh hope into what until very recently seemed an utterly desperate situation. But there is still much ground to cover. Outreach programs have been helpful to increase public awareness, which improves the chances of saving any endangered creature, but with the federal government considering drastic cuts to Endangered Species Act funding, private support may be the only way to save the Florida grasshopper sparrow. Time is running out; a few years’ delay could be the difference between extinction and recovery. “We have to do this through partnerships,” said Reillo. “… Sometimes conservation heroes come from the private sector, individuals who can make a huge difference with their philanthropy.” Captive breeding programs are crucial to keeping the subspecies viable long enough to solve the mystery of its collapse—and may also help deliver the solution as to why the tenacious little sparrow is disappearing from the wild. Even as they celebrate recent triumphs, everyone fighting for the Florida grasshopper sparrow acknowledges that it is an uphill battle. “There’s a huge amount of challenges. We all know it. But we’ve got to try.” Schumann smiled. “I’m optimistic.” Claire Goforth claire@folioweekly.com _____________________________________ Sign up for the White Oak e-newsletter by texting WHITEOAK to 22828. To donate to the efforts to save the Florida grasshopper sparrow, go to FishWildlifeFlorida.org/florida-grasshoppersparrow-fund.

JULY 12-18, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 13

FOLIO A + E

FILM Patriotic Films FILM War for the Planet of the Apes MUSIC Washed Out LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CALENDAR

PG. 15 PG. 17 PG. 18 PG. 19

Des Moines’ Karen Meat returns in duo form with SURPRISINGLY DARK indie ditties

owa bedroom-pop band Karen Meat made gentle waves with their 2015 full-length Karen Meat & The Computer and 2016 EP On the Couch. Both juxtapose the hearton-sleeve lyrical duality of Arin Eaton and Brad Turk with omnichord-driven ditties that explore the highs and lows of a twenty-something life: the odes to “Pizza and Beer.” The crushing thoughts of “Who Cares?” And the playfulness of a song like “On the Couch,” which mixes loving references to Turk’s basketball-playing little sister with Eaton’s lament that her man “ain’t no good at hanging out.” But Karen Meat’s most recent material–the six-song EP She’s Drunk Like the Rest of Us and the holiday single “Part of the Party,” both released at the end of 2016–veers in two different directions. There’s the full band version of the band, with Eaton, Turk, Phil Young and John Huffman, and the duo version containing Eaton and Dana Telsrow, who are currently out on tour. “The two versions aren’t much different but are also very different,” Eaton laughs during a phone interview with Folio Weekly conducted while the band was on the road to Omaha, Nebraska. “With the full band, I do most of the writing, then bring the song in. Brad fills out the words or melodies I don’t have, or he’ll rewrite it completely if he doesn’t like it. With the duo, I write all the words and arrangements and Dana writes the music.” Eaton says she’s always embraced the “power of rejection and depression” in her music, injecting uptempo songs with underlying layers of sharp sarcasm, devastating anxiety and hard-earned wisdom. In that sense, She’s Drunk Like the Rest of Us, which Eaton and Telsrow will focus on when they visit Northeast Florida next week, is the strongest Karen Meat release to date, with ruminations on near-constant intoxication, debilitating unhappiness and mental instability backed by bubblegum girl-group chants, suave sax solos and skittering, loopy beats. “It’s way more personal,” Eaton says of the duo material, performed by Arin and Dana, resplendent in

14 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 12-18, 2017

matching sequined outfits. “I’ve always written about life experiences and things that I’ve dwelled on for too long. Karen Meat started as me venting, but Brad lived upstairs so I asked him to write some omnichord lines for some songs. The full band kind of formed itself. Nothing I’ve ever done has ever been as fun as what I do with Brad and John. With Dana, it’s more serious and not as playful.” When asked whether she prefers one end of the songwriting spectrum or the other, Eaton laughs: “I guess I’d rather have fun than be serious all the time.

There are a lot of people out there doing the whole serious thing. When Brad and I bring a song to each other, my take will be a life story that Brad will then make into a really funny joke.” Karen Meat currently operates in such a dichotomous way for one simple reason: Arin decided that 2017 would be her year to travel and focus on music, while Dana Telsrow’s job with the University of Iowa allows him to work remotely. Back in Des Moines, Brad Turk works at 3E, an electrical engineering and equipment company, and John Huffman delivers

BEDROOM POP THAT CUTS

DEEP KAREN MEAT with RV, BIKE WEAK, UNCLE MARTY 8 p.m. July 19, Sarbez, St. Augustine, $5, facebook.com/theplanetsarbez

beer for Confluence Brewing Company. “They have full-time jobs and lives,” Eaton laughs, “where I told myself last winter, ‘Oh, well–I’m just going to do this and see the world.” Eaton says she’s excited to get back to Northeast Florida, where she and Karen Meat last played in January. “We went down for a little winter vacation tour to visit our good friend Rob Horn, who runs Hornski’s Vinyl Lounge in St. Augustine,” Eaton remembers. “I’d say it was probably our best show of the tour.” After this run of summer duo dates, Eaton says she hopes to finish two full-lengths–one with the Karen Meat full band and one with Dana. “We’re trying to release more music but in a smarter way,” she says. “In the past, we’d do it quickly just to keep putting stuff out; Red Nude Tapes helped us release our first album, while Sump Pump Records helped with the On the Couch 7-inch. I self-released She’s Drunk Like the Rest of Us, and we keep doing EPs like that, hoping somebody will grab on to it. But we’re happy doing what we do, just to get our music out in the world.” Coming from Des Moines, she has a legitimate concern. Eaton says the local music scene there is thriving, with new and established venues, up-and-coming bands, the popular 80/35 Music Festival, and plenty of local support. And though Karen Meat might seem like the perfect blend of quirky, eccentric DIYers emerging from an unlikely source of forward-thinking artistic progression, she says her desire to write music is rooted in tradition. “I love listening to country music and always have, since I was a kid,” she laughs. “And then I’m really inspired by the really cheesy stuff in pop music. I love Taylor Swift–I think her music is so ridiculous. The background vocals or the rappers doing the ‘Yeah!’ part in the chorus? When I hear that, I tell Dana or Brad, ‘Put that in the next song!’ And they say, ‘Don’t you think you’re going a little over the top with that?’” Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly.com

FOLIO A+E : MAGIC LANTERNS A trio of patriotic 1940s flicks highlights the Greatest Generation’s HOPES AND IDEALS

IT TAKES A GREAT

NATION I

recently read two very different, in most ways unrelated, nonfiction books that led to my discovery of three older movies (a trilogy of sorts) that are gems of their own peculiar type as well as historical documents of their time. The books are The Things Our Fathers Saw: The Untold Stories of the World War II Generation from Hometown, USA (2015) and Bette & Joan: The Divine Feud (1989). The subject of the first is obvious from the title; the second was the basis for the recent TV miniseries about Bette Davis and Joan Crawford. According to the book, it was Davis who “prevailed upon [her boss Jack] Warner to contribute his profits from three patriotic all-star films” to the war effort. The first of the trio was This Is the Army (’43) with Lt. Ronald Reagan and heavyweight champ Sgt. Joe Louis among its stars. Thank Your Lucky Stars (also ’43) had cameos by everyone from Humphrey Bogart to Errol Flynn; Hollywood Canteen (’44) topped its predecessors by casting 62 stars among its retinue. Each an Oscar nominee in one category or another (including music), the three films are still enormously entertaining and unabashedly patriotic. Available individually in various forms, they’re also in an inexpensive box set, Warner Bros. & the Homefront Collection. The opening credits for the first film (a Technicolor production) are actually Irving Berlin’s This Is the Army, based on a musical called Yip Yip Yaphank, which Berlin originally wrote during WWI and This Is the Army, his successful stage revue at the onset of WWII with a cast entirely of enlisted men. The film (directed by the great Michael Curtiz, who’d helmed Yankee Doodle Dandy and Casablanca a year before) combines Berlin’s two song-anddance showpieces as well as the two world wars with a sentimental story. George Murphy plays Jerry, a hoofer-turned-soldier during WWI; his son Johnny (Lt. Reagan) carries on the family tradition in WWII. Several Hollywood performers (mostly character actors) figure prominently in the connecting story segments, but most of the movie cast real-life soldiers for the big stage numbers. The music is fabulous, punctuated by show-stoppers, including Kate Smith belting out “God Bless America,” a song Berlin pulled from Yip Yip Yaphank, over the radio. By today’s standards, the film is occasionally embarrassing, with unintentional racism (particularly in a blackface number) and the fact that whites and blacks do not occupy the stage together. Still, This Is the Army is a testament to the talent and spirit of the American soldier (regardless of race and, yes, even gender)

during the greatest conflagration the world had ever known. It’s also terrifically entertaining. Thank Your Lucky Stars (available on Bluray) has more of a plot, but just barely. Dennis Morgan plays hopeful crooner Tommy, Joan Leslie plays hopeful songwriter Pat; they’re both trying to get a shot at stardom on comic/ singer Eddie Cantor’s popular radio show. The plot’s focus is a charity benefit featuring noted stars (most not known for dancing or singing skills) strutting their stuff. Playing themselves, tough guy John Garfield and Errol Flynn (in real life having just survived a statutory rape charge) have funny musical numbers. Bette Davis almost steals the show with her only song on film— the Oscar-nominated “They’re Either Too Young or Too Old”—followed by a jitterbug number that nearly does her in. Oscar-winner Hattie McDaniel (Mammy, Gone with the Wind) belts out a rousing number featuring African-Americans in a rendition of “Ice Cold Katy,” one of the movie’s real showstoppers. Other stars doing musical bits are Dinah Shore (in her film debut), Spike Jones, Ann Sheridan and many more. One of the film’s more luminous delights is 18-year-old Joan Leslie who, in 1941, had played Gary Cooper’s girlfriend in Sergeant York. In 1942, she moved up, playing James Cagney’s wife in Yankee Doodle Dandy before moving on to play Reagan’s intended in This Is the Army. Winsome, beautiful and charming, she’s the only major star to appear in all three of Warner’s patriotic musicals. In Hollywood Canteen (’44), Leslie plays herself; Robert Hutton (a Jimmy Stewart lookalike) is Cpl. Slim Green, a lucky G.I. who wins a date with her at the Hollywood Canteen. It was a nightclub and lounge of sorts, started by Bette Davis and John Garfield as a haven of R&R for soldiers and sailors on leave. Entertainment, food, table service and dish-washing were provided by some of Tinseltown’s finest, many of whom appear in the film—including Dame Bette’s nemesis, Joan Crawford. The love story is hokey but sweet, and the comedy (mostly by way of Sgt. Nowland, Slim’s pal, played by Dane Clark) is rather cornball. Still, the numerous musical numbers (of all types, including Jack Benny on the violin and Roy Rogers on Trigger—riding, not bowing) are an absolute delight. We know how the Greatest Generation endured and fought. The Homefront Collection shows us another side, more gentle and fanciful but still united in their patriotism. Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com

ARTS + EVENTS ARTS + EVENTS PERFORMANCE

A TEA WITH ZORA & MARJORIE A Classic Theatre stages Dr. Barbara Speisman’s imagined conversation between Zora Neale Hurston and Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings, 7:30 p.m. July 15; 2 p.m. July 16 at The Lincolnville Museum & Cultural Center, 102 MLK Ave., St. Augustine, 501-5093, $20 adults; $10 students (check or cash only at the door), aclassictheatre.org. BENT The 5 & Dime presents Amy Canning’s drama, which chronicles the lives of Berlin’s community under Nazi rule, 8 p.m. July 14 & 15; 2 p.m. July 16, 112 E. Adams St., Downtown, $10, the5anddime.org. PUDDLES PITY PARTY LIVE The “Sad Clown with the Golden Voice,” known for collaborating with Scott Bradlee’s Postmodern Jukebox and their version of “Royals,” appearances at Edinburgh Fringe Festival, and performances on Aqua Teen Hunger Force Live Tour, stages his humorous, bizarre show at 8 p.m. July 14, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, $33-$43, pvconcerthall.com. ANNIE Alhambra Theatre & Dining stages the tale of a young orphan’s adventures in 1930s Manhattan, through Aug. 13, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $35-$57 plus tax, 641-1212, alhambrajax.com.

FORT MOSE HISTORIC STATE PARK The park needs volunteers to be re-enactors, event coordinators, museum guides and gardeners–and someone with computer skills to work with the Historical Society administrative team. Details, 823-2232 or email vicki.tiseth@dep.state.fl.us.

OVERSET

CLASSICAL + JAZZ

JAZZ ORGAN TRIO Local jazzers hit the stage, 7:30 p.m. July 13, Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., St. Nicholas, 352-7008, $10, raylewispresents.com. RIVER CITY RHYTHM KINGS These local jazzy folks play, 7:30 p.m. July 17, Mudville Music Room, 352-7008, $10, raylewispresents.com. TAYLOR ROBERTS The renowned local jazz guitarist appears 7-10 p.m. every Wed., Ocean 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060, ocean60.com. Roberts is also on 4 p.m. every Thur. at lobby bar; 6 p.m. every Fri. & Sat., both at Salt Restaurant, Ritz-Carlton, 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., 277-1100, ritzcarlton.com.

COMEDY

FRED’S ALL-STAR COMEDIANS A variety of local comedians perform 7:30 p.m. each Wed.–July 12, 19 & 26– at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, 292-4242, $10, comedyzone.com.

ART WALKS + MARKETS

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Local, regional art; yoga (9 a.m.), live music–Savanna Leigh Bassett, Blue Veronica, Elvis Kabong!–food and farmers market, 8:30 a.m.-4 p.m. July 15 under Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com. CONSCIOUS MARKET Tastes and sips mingle, 7-11 p.m. every Sat. at Conscious Eats, 5913 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 5, Mandarin, 612-3934. Bring a donation of dried beans, rices, quinoas, grains. Proceeds benefit Conscious Market/ Character Counts programs. WHITE HARVEST FARMS & FARMER’S MARKET Local organic, fresh produce, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. every Sat., 5348 Moncrief Rd., Northside, 354-4162; proceeds benefit Clara White Mission, clarawhitemission.org.

MUSEUMS

CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 29 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummermuseum.org. Poetry of Landscape: The Art of Eugène Louis Charvot (1847-1924), through Sept. 10; An American in Venice: James McNeill Whistler & His Legacy, through July 20. David Ponsler: Chasing Shadows, through Oct. 4. Ink, Silk & Gold: Islamic Treasures from the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston displays through Sept. 3. KARPELES MANUSCRIPT LIBRARY MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992, rain.org/~karpeles/jaxfrm.html. Robert Fulton & the U.S. Navy: Steamboats & Submarines, through August. MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY 1025 Museum Cir., Southbank, 396-6674, themosh.org. Dinosaurs in Motion, 14 life-sized sculptures of recycled metal, is displayed. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911, mocajacksonville.unf.edu. Project: Atrium installation, Plexus No. 38 by Gabriel Dawe, displays July 15-Oct. 29. Synthesize: Art + Music, works by contemporary sound-based artists, through Sept. 24. Iterations: Lorrie Fredette, through Sept. 10.

GALLERIES

Comedian CHRIS ROACH (The Michael J. Fox Show, Limitless) appears July 13, 14 and 15 at The Comedy Zone, Mandarin. CHRIS ROACH The comic (The Michael J. Fox Show, Limitless) is on 7:30 p.m. July 13; 7:30 & 9:45 p.m. July 14 & 15, The Comedy Zone, 292-4242, $20, comedyzone.com. BIG E The comedian (Comic View, The Parkers) appears 8 p.m. July 13 at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-4277, $10-$30, jacksonvillecomedy.com. NY KINGS OF COMEDY This comedic quintet–Capone, Talent Harris, Rob Stapleton, Mark Viera, Drew Fraser– appears 7:30 p.m. July 14 & 15 at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 646-4277, $10-$30, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

CALLS + WORKSHOPS

LES DeMERLE DRUM WORKSHOPS The renowned drummer and artistic director of Amelia Island Jazz Festival offers workshops for all skill levels, covering techniques and styles, 1-5 p.m. July 12, 19 & 26 at Peck Center, 516 S. 10th St., Fernandina Beach, 277-7942, $25/class; hand percussion, drum set supplied during lessons, ldmm@bellsouth.net.

THE ART CENTER COOPERATIVE Jacksonville Landing, 233-9252, tacjacksonville.org. An Artistic Reflection of the JASMYN Guiding Principles, through Aug. 4. Sinisa Saratlic is July’s featured artist. MAKERSPACE GALLERY Main Library, 303 N. Laura St., 630-2665, jaxpubliclibrary.org/jax-makerspace. Altered Objects, by Matthew Abercrombie, Mark Creegan, Crystal Floyd, Mark Krancer, Roosevelt Watson III and Elaine Wheeler, runs through July 23. RITZ THEATRE & MUSEUM 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 632-5555, ritzjacksonville.com. Dance Theatre of Harlem: 40 Years of Firsts, through July. MONYA ROWE GALLERY 4 Rohde Ave., St. Augustine, 217-0637, monyarowegallery.com. Home, by Polina Barskaya, Ridley Howard, Sophie Larrimore, Caris Reid and Ann Toebbe, displays through July 30. SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY Bank of America Tower, 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 150, 438-4358, southlightgallery.com. 2017 Summer Wall, works by Jerry Uelsmann, Robert Leedy, Tony Wood, Thomas Hager, Doug Eng, Paul Ladnier, Paul Karabinis and Jim Draper, runs through Sept. 6. UNF Summer Show displays through August.

EVENTS

TAI CHI FOR HEALTH & WELLNESS Chi Time, hosted by Sheri Holbrook Nicholson, is held 5:30 p.m. July 18 at 200 First St. Courtyard, Neptune Beach, 241-1026. NIGHT AT THE ZOO Big hair and um … colorful fashions are the theme at ’80s Night at the Zoo, featuring live music by Bread & Butter and totally rad stuff around the zoo after dark, 6:30 p.m. July 14, Jacksonville Zoo & Gardens, 370 Zoo Pkwy., Northside, 757-4463; members $5 adults, $3 kids 3-12; nonmembers $10 adult, $5 kids; free for kids 2 and under; online only, jacksonvillezoo.org. SILENT SURFERS Deaf athletes, ages 8-15 who are able to swim, get instruction from a pro and a signer, 9 a.m.-noon July 19 at Sixth Avenue North, Jax Beach, 626-9090, floridasurfing.org. JUMBO SHRIMP VS. BILOXI SHUCKERS The team wraps up a homestand against the Biloxi Shuckers (mmm shrimp n oysters) at 12:05 p.m. July 12 (Big Splash Day!), at Bragan Field, Baseball Grounds, Downtown, single game tix start at $9 (check website), 358-2846, jaxshrimp.com. Next up: Tennessee Smokies (mmm shrimp n sausages!).

_________________________________________ To list an event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price, contact number to print to Daniel A. Brown; email dbrown@folioweekly.com or mail 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Items run as space is available. Deadline noon Wed. for next Wed. printing.

JULY 12-18, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15

Brett’s Waterway Café

Fernandina Harbor Marina at the foot of Centre Street 904-261-2660 Overlooking Fernandina Harbor Marina, Brett’s offers an upscale atmosphere with outstanding food. The extensive luncheon and dinner menus feature daily specials, fresh Florida seafood, chicken and aged beef. Cocktails, beer and wine. Casual resort wear. Open at 11:30 a.m. daily.

T-Ray’s Burger Station

202 S. Eighth Street 904-261-6310 T-Ray’s offers a variety of breakfast and lunch items. In addition to an outstanding breakfast menu, you’ll find some of the best burgers you’ve ever put in your mouth. The Burger Station offers a grilled portabello mushroom burger, grilled or fried chicken salad and much more. The spot where locals grab a bite and go! Now serving beer & wine. Open Mon.-Fri. 7 a.m.-2:30 p.m., Sat. 8 a.m.-1 p.m. Closed Sundays.

Jack & Diane’s

708 Centre Street 904-321-1444 The locals’ favorite hangout! Dine inside or on the patio of this cozy, renovated 1887 shotgun home in historic downtown Fernandina Beach. From the crab & shrimp omelet to the steak & tomato pie, “The tastiest spot on Centre” offers food with attitude and unexpected flair. Live music elevates your dining experience to a new level. Come for breakfast, stay for dinner! You’ll love every bite!

Moon River Pizza

925 S. 14th Street 904-321-3400 Moon River Pizza treats customers like family. Cooked in a brick oven, the pizza is custom-made by the slice (or, of course, by the pie). Set up like an Atlanta-style pizza joint, Moon River also offers an eclectic selection of wine and beer. Open for lunch and dinner Mon.-Sat. Dine in or take it with you.

The Mustard Seed Cafe

833 T.J. Courson Road 904-277-3141 Inside Nassau Health Foods, The Mustard Seed is Amelia Island’s only organic eatery and juice bar, with an extensive, eclectic menu featuring vegetarian and vegan items. Daily specials include local seafood, freerange chicken and fresh organic produce. Salads, wraps, sandwiches and soups are available – all prepared with our staff’s impeccable style. Popular items are chicken or veggie quesadillas, grilled mahi, or salmon over mixed greens and tuna melt with Swiss cheese and tomato. Open for breakfast and lunch, 8 a.m.-3 p.m. Mon.-Sat. nassauhealthfoods.net

Cafe Karibo

27 N. Third Street 904-277-5269 Homemade sandwiches, salads and soups are served in a relaxed atmosphere in this charming building in the historic district. Delicious fresh fish specials and theme nights (Pad Thai and curry), plus vegetarian dishes, are also featured. Karibrew Brew Pub & Grub – the only one on the island – offers onsite beers and great burgers and sandwiches.

Amelia Island is 13 miles of unspoiled beaches, quaint shops, antique treasures and superb dining in a 50-block historic district less than one hour north of Jacksonville 16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 12-18, 2017

FOLIO A+E : FILM

ARTS + EVENTS ARTS + EVENTS PERFORMANCE

TOO MUCH

MONKEY BUSINESS

Blockbuster franchise’s latest CLASSICAL + JAZZ JUST APES anp.m. JAZZ ORGAN TRIO Local jazzers hit the stage, 7:30 July 13, Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., enjoyable sci-fi film St. Nicholas, 352-7008, $10, raylewispresents.com.

RIVER CITY RHYTHM KINGS These local jazzy folks play, 7:30 p.m. July 17, Mudville Music Room, 352-7008, $10, raylewispresents.com. to be inROBERTS a zoo and that’s what TAYLOR The(presumably) renowned local jazz guitarist humans always said Wed., to him. We’re supposed to appears 7-10 p.m. every Ocean 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic 247-0060, ocean60.com. Roberts is also on feel badBeach, for him. I didn’t. 4 p.m. Thur. atevolves lobby bar;(at 6 p.m. every Fri.now & Sat., both Asevery the chase least four at Salt Restaurant, Ritz-Carlton, 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., against one), nonsensical plot conveniences 277-1100, ritzcarlton.com.

here’s not much war in War for the Planet of the Apes, which is a problem, since it’s called War for the Planet of the Apes. A better, more accurate title would’ve been Failed Diplomacy on the Planet of the Apes, though of emerge. The apes find the perfect people to course that wouldn’t get anyone excited. “War,” join them on their journey, even in the most though, YEAH! An apes-fighting-humans COMEDY FRED’S ALL-STAR COMEDIANS variety straight of local into remote places. Later, NovaAwalks summer blockbuster—gimme some of that! perform p.m. each undetected Wed.–July 12, and 19 & 26– acomedians restricted area 7:30 completely It opens well: An army battalion closes at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, assists incarcerated apes, apparently because in on an ape stronghold. The humans think 292-4242, $10, comedyzone.com. the guards had gone to bed for the night. they’re at war, the apes just want to be left All that implausibility aside, my goodness, alone. Humans attack. Apes defend. It’s a nicely does director Matt Reeves’ film feature staged, edited and performed sequence, and tremendous visual effects! Because they seem gives us hope for positive things to come. so real, it’s easy to forget the apes are created And then … nothing. using performance capture The apes talk about their animation, in which the actors’ feelings, and soon we’re about WAR FOR THE movements are placed into a to doze off. The dialog isn’t wellwritten. In fact, this one may PLANET OF THE APES computer that subsequently renders them as apes. Everything set the record for most subtitles **@@ about the apes is created in a in a big budget blockbuster. It’s Rated PG-13 computer: the details of the a given that people spending hair, facial expressions, light money to see a movie with this reflecting in the eyes and even tears. Absolutely title don’t want to read from the screen. This stunning. If you do see this, be sure to make an isn’t a foreign film, after all. effort to marvel at the technology on display. We do need to know what the apes are In the opening credits, War for the communicating to each other, so why not let Planet of the Apes gives a quick summary of them all speak? Not just the leader, Caesar predecessors Rise (’11) and Dawn of the Planet (Andy Serkis), all of them. Because here’s the of the Apes (’14), which is good, because the logical, obvious flaw in having only Caesar only thing I remembered about those two was speak: How do the other apes understand how forgettable they were. Now having seen English? Furthermore, when he’s not facing Comedian CHRIS theROACH third, (The I hope the fourth will extend the other apes and they sign (language) something Michael same courtesy. to him, he shouldn’t be responding as if they’re J. Fox Show, Dan Hudak in conversation when he can’t see them. Limitless) appears mail@folioweekly.com Apparently the other apes understand English July 13, 14 and 15 perfectly, they just can’t speak it. The few who at The Comedy try a word here and there, though, do just fine. Zone, Mandarin. I know, I know. I’m writing about logic in a movie about a talking ape and the humans MOVIES BY THE BAY Ripley’s shows The Jungle Book, CHRIS ROACH The comic (The Michael J. Fox Show, trying to kill him. Perhaps my frustration 8:30 p.m. July 12, Colonial Oak Music Park, 27 St. George Limitless) is on 7:30 p.m. July 13; 7:30 & 9:45 p.m.Bring July 14 St., St. Augustine, free; 824-1606, augustine.com. is misguided. Let’s instead put all the blame &something 15, The Comedy Zone, 292-4242, $20, comedyzone.com. to sit on. for the film’s failings on the misshapen story. BIG E TheNO comedian View, TheSummer Parkers)Movie appears THERE’S CRYING(Comic IN BASEBALL! After big bad Colonel McCullogh (Woody 8Classics p.m. July 13 at AThe Comedy Club Own, of Jacksonville, screens League of Their (25th anniversary), 11000 Southside, 646-4277, Harrelson) kills Caesar’s wife Cornelia (Judy 2 p.m. Beach July 16,Blvd., The Florida Theatre, 128 E. $10-$30, Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $7.50/film; $45 season pass, jacksonvillecomedy.com. Greer) and son Blue Eyes (Max Lloyd-Jones), floridatheatre.com. NY KINGS OF COMEDY This comedic quintet–Capone, Caesar vows to kill him. Important: Caesar SUN-RAY CINEMA Spider-Man: Baby Driver Talent Harris, Rob Stapleton, MarkHomecoming, Viera, Drew Fraser– vows to kill McCullogh—no one else. It’s not and The 7:30 Big Sick screen, 1028Club ParkofSt., appears p.m.(starting July 14 July & 1514) at The Comedy 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. much of a war when the protagonist is after Jacksonville, 646-4277, $10-$30, jacksonvillecomedy.com. CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ The Hero and Moka run. one person. Throwback Thursday runs And Then There Were None, CALLS + WORKSHOPS On Caesar goes, picking up help in the noon July 13. Wakefi eld starts July 14. All Men Are the LES DeMERLE DRUMrun WORKSHOPS renowned Same and Magicians July 15. 36The Granada St., drummer form of fellow apes Maurice (Karin Konoval), and artistic director of Amelia Island Jazz Festival offers St. Augustine, 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com. Luca (Michael Adamthwaite) and Rocket workshops for all Prehistoric skill levels, covering techniques and styles, IMAX THEATER Planet 3D, Spider-Man: (Terry Notary). They also take pity on a human 1-5 p.m. July 12, 19 & 26 at Peck Center, 10th St., Homecoming, Amazon Adventure, Dream516 BigS.and girl, Nova (Amiah Miller), and the kooky “Bad Extreme Weather World Golf Village,hand 940-4133, Fernandina Beach, run, 277-7942, $25/class; percussion, worldgolfimax.com. drum set supplied during lessons, ldmm@bellsouth.net. Ape” (Steve Zahn), so named because he used

NOW SHOWING

OVERSET

ART WALKS + MARKETS

MUSEUMS

GALLERIES

EVENTS

JULY 12-18, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17

FOLIO A+E : MUSIC Washed Out returns with supremely relaxed new album, Mister Mellow, a visually striking, sonically laid-back RUMINATION ON ADULTHOOD

THIS IS

GROWING

UP B

18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 12-18, 2017

I spent a year going really hard on the music, so ack in the late 2000s, Georgia native Ernest by the time I finished it, I was a bit burnt out. Greene was one of the main chilled-out That made it really refreshing to shift to the men responsible for giving birth to the visuals for each song. They were all challenging chillwave sub-genre. But after his swaying in their own way—a lot of stuff was actually electro-psychedelia blew up and the Washed done by hand, which takes a ton of time and can Out project signed to seminal rock label Sub be problematic. In the digital realm, there are Pop for 2013’s Paracosm, Greene decided to opportunities to change things after the fact. So take a step back and reassess his career. The I had to accept that once things ended, you had auditory result, last month’s Mister Mellow, to be OK with it. My favorite clip is by Harvey injects a bit more zonked-out soul, jazz and Benschoter for “Get Lost”—he’s done similar disco into Washed Out’s sound while cruising videos with images cut out from magazines, but down a similar lane. It arrives courtesy of a new he took it a step further and printed his own patron, zonked-out hip-hop specialists Stones collages on fabric. So what you’re seeing is an Throw Records, and with a far more fleshed-out actual fabric moving around aesthetic accompaniment: trippy on screen. It’s wild the time and visuals for each song, a yellow WASHED OUT with energy that he put into it. color palette sonically imbuing DEGA and TOMBOI every second of the album’s 8 p.m. July 14, Mavericks Do you think the marriage 29-minute run time, and a fresh Live, Downtown, $20, between music and visuals will perspective on the malaise that mavericksatthelanding.com translate well to the live stage? accompanies the long, winding I feel like this is the best journey from childhood to representation of the Washed Out aesthetic. adulthood. “It’s a shared experience of accepting The problem in the past is that it felt like we your fate as an adult,” Greene tells Folio Weekly. were the best Washed Out cover band out “And it’s quite funny the way we overdramatize there. We were playing the songs, but they our lives. A lot of the stress comes from a place didn’t sound as close to the album as I would that isn’t even warranted.” have liked. Folio Weekly: Tell us more about Mister Mellow, Ernest. Let’s talk more about the album’s philosophy. Ernest Greene: This record is the first that Were you going through feelings of “Oh, shit, I’ve had time to see all the way through—I’m I’m an adult now” while you were writing? excited about every little piece of the puzzle, Definitely. I’m really envious of songwriters from the artwork to the visuals to the music to who can step outside themselves and write from the live show. I live in Atlanta, so these first few other perspectives. For me, what I’m feeling Southeast tour dates in Georgia and Florida naturally seeps into the music. Which is quite will allow me to fine-tune everything without a bit of pressure to put on myself. Getting older venturing too far from home. There are quite and having more responsibilities is the struggle a few moving pieces with motion sensors that I’ve been going through, and that fed into the take the movements of the real-time performers material. But I also wanted to play with the and project them using crazy wild effects. idea—there’s humor in the fact that everyone at some point in their lives goes through this, yet What motivated you to put that kind of time we stress ourselves out about it so much. That’s where the title Mister Mellow comes from. I and effort into the album? wanted it to be Mister Mellow, but my lawyer said I haven’t put out a record or played many that was probably not a good idea. [Laughs.] shows for three or four years, which I didn’t intend to happen. Taking a step back, I Why Stones Throw Records, especially after realized that I could put my … I wouldn’t call working with Sub Pop for the last record? them mistakes, but my past experiences into Stones Throw is probably my favorite label of doing the best I could and seeing everything all time, so it’s a dream come true. They have through to the end. I’m a bit of a perfectionist impeccable taste. It’s a great home for the and compulsive about wanting to connect the album from a purely aesthetic perspective, too. dots. It was really important that everything make sense together for once. It’s easy to fall Finally, Florida. Have you played a lot down the rabbit hole, though, so I’m not sure down here? if I’ll have the time and energy to ever do Most often in Miami. I went to the University something quite this complicated again. of Georgia, so I probably spent more time in Jacksonville going to football games than The visual accompaniments by collaborators doing shows. like Winston Hacking, RuffMercy, Jonathan Nick McGregor Hodgson and Jason Miller add a lot to the mail@folioweekly.com feeling of the music.

Metal supergroup ADRENALINE MOB (pictured), featuring members of Dream Theater and Symphony X, perform with BURDEN AFFINITY and INNER DEMONS July 16 at 1904 Music Hall, Downtown.

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK

Music by the Sea: BILLY BUCHANAN & HIS ROCK N’ SOUL REVUE 6 p.m. July 12, St. Johns County Pier Park, St. Augustine, free, thecivicassociation.org. SPADE McQUADE 6 p.m. July 12, Fionn MacCool’s Irish Pub, Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247. BORN OF OSIRIS, VOLUMES, BETRAYING the MARTYRS, WIDOWMAKER 6 p.m. July 12, 1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St., Downtown, $18 advance; $20 day of. THE TWINS & CORTEZ GARZA, JACOB HUDSON 8 p.m. July 12, Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-749, $8. BUSDRIVER, ZEROH, STONO ECHO, THE DUVAL SPIT 8 p.m. July 12, Nighthawks, 2952 Roosevelt Blvd., Riverside, $10 advance; $12 at the door. LAST STAND 9:30 p.m. July 12, Cheers Park Avenue, 1138 Park Ave., Orange Park, 269-4855, $3. DIERKS BENTLEY, COLE SWINDELL, JON PARDI 7 p.m. July 13, Daily’s Place, 1 Daily’s Place, Downtown, 633-2000, $75-$225. STITCHES, MIKE BUSEY, TRACE CYRUS 7:30 p.m. July 13, Jack Rabbits, $15. RESINATED, RIES BROTHERS 8 p.m. July 13, 1904 Music Hall, $8 advance; $10 day of. TED NUGENT, EMMA MOSELEY BAND 8 p.m. July 13, The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $32.50-$49.50. 3 The BAND 9 p.m. July 13, Flying Iguana Taqueria & Tequila Bar, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680. BONNIE BLUE 9 p.m. July 13, Surfer the Bar, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 372-9756. LONELY HIGHWAY 9:30 p.m. July 13, Cheers Park Avenue, $3. CULTURE KILLER, THROAT CHOP, RIOT STARES, DISDAIN, MINDFIELD, OUT of BODY, JUSTICE AGAINST BRUTALITY 6 p.m. July 14, Nighthawks, $10 advance; $12 at the door. SKYVIEW, THE DOG APOLLO, KELLY WHITE 7:30 p.m. July 14, 1904 Music Hall, $10 advance; $12 day of. Acoustic Sessions: TOM LEON, AMY BASSE, DENTON ELKINS, BRYAN SPRADLIN 7:30 p.m. July 17, Amelia Community Theatre, 207/209 Cedar St., Fernandina Beach, 261-6749, $10. PURE PRAIRIE LEAGUE, FIREFALL, ORLEANS 8 p.m. July 14, Florida Theatre, $39-$69.50. SUPERSUCKERS, GORILLA CANDY, THE CHROME FANGS 8 p.m. July 14, Jack Rabbits, $15. WASHED OUT 8 p.m. July 14, Mavericks Live, Jacksonville Landing, Downtown, 356-1110, $20. SIDEWALK 65 8:30 p.m. July 14, Whiskey Jax, 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy., Jax Beach, 853-5973. SMOKESTACK 9 p.m. July 14, Whiskey Jax, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Southside, 634-7208. CRANE 9:30 p.m. July 14, Surfer the Bar. NO SAINTS 9:30 p.m. July 14 & 15, Cheers Park Avenue, $2. MISHKA, SAILOR JANE 10 p.m. July 14, The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 264-0611, $7 advance; $10 at the door. Riverside Arts Market: Morning yoga (9 a.m.), SAVANNA LEIGH BASSETT, BLUE VERONICA, ELVIS KABONG! 8:30 a.m. July 15, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449. LARRY MANGUM, ELLEN BUKSTELL, NEIL DIXON 7:30 p.m. July 15, Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., St. Nicholas, 352-7008, $10. LESA SILVERMORE, SAM ROBERTSON, JACKIE STRANGER, SHANNON CRABTREE 8 p.m. July 15, Nighthawks, $7. IN BUSINESS 8 p.m. July 15, 1904 Music Hall, $10 advance; $12 day of. BROKEN SILENCE, ANGRY PLANET 8 p.m. July 15, Jack Rabbits, $8.

HOLY HUMAN, THE NED, WOUNDED SHADOW, NEAR EMPTY 8 p.m. July 15, Shanghai Nobby’s, 10 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 547-2188, $5; $10 ages 18-21. THE CAVE SINGERS, THE BEST OF SYNTHIA 8:30 p.m. July 15, The Original Café Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311, $12 advance; $15 door. SOWFLO, JUST CHAMELEONS 9:30 p.m. July 15, Surfer the Bar. TOM BENNETT BAND, MELT BEHIND the WHEEL 10 p.m. July 15, The Roadhouse, $3 advance; $5 at the door. ADRENALINE MOB, BURDEN AFFINITY, INNER DEMONS 6 p.m. July 16, 1904 Music Hall, $12 advance; $15 day of. ACCELERATOR, UNEARTHLY CHILD 7 p.m. July 16, Jack Rabbits, $8. MEYHEM LAUREN, STEAM MECHANICS, DJ DIALECTABLE BEATS, SWORDZ 7 p.m. July 16, Nighthawks, $17 advance; $22 day of. PUBLIC 7 p.m. July 18, Jack Rabbits, $10. STONE, BROKEN TEETH, BLAME GOD, JUSTICE TACKLE, DAMAGE DONE, RELAPSE A.D. 6:30 p.m. July 19, Nighthawks. VESPERTEEN, DBMK, FAZE WAVE 7 p.m. July 19, Jack Rabbits, $10. ARISE ROOTS, JAHMEN, DUBBEST 7 p.m. July 19, Surfer the Bar.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

STYX, REO SPEEDWAGON, DON FELDER July 20, Daily’s Place SLAYER, LAMB of GOD, BEHEMOTH July 21, St. Augustine Amphitheatre SINBAD July 21, Florida Theatre PARKER URBAN BAND, BOBBY LEE RODGERS TRIO July 21, Mojo Kitchen LARY OVER AND DARELL July 21, Mavericks Live THE RIDE July 21 & 22, Cheers Park Avenue LUKE PEACOCK, ARVID SMITH, MARK SHINE July 22, Riverside Arts Market TAKING BACK SUNDAY, MODERN CHEMISTRY July 22, Mavericks Live MEEK MILL, YO GOTTI July 22, Daily’s Place JASON ISBELL & The 400 UNIT, STRAND of OAKS July 22, St. Augustine Amphitheatre LA-A, ETHER, MINDFIELD July 23, Nighthawks JOURNEY, ASIA July 26, Daily’s Place IDA PEARL July 26, Cheers Park Avenue LADY ANTEBELLUM, KELSEA BALLERINI, BRETT YOUNG July 27, Daily’s Place JASON EVANS BAND July 27, Cheers Park Avenue LORRIE MORGAN July 28, Ritz Theatre IVY LEAGUE July 28 & 29, Cheers Park Avenue CAMP EXCELLENCE PERFORMING ARTS, GYPSY STAR, COURTNIE FRAZIER July 29, Riverside Arts Market REBELUTION, NAKHO, MEDICINE for the PEOPLE, COLLIE BUDZ, HIRIE, DJ MACKLE July 30, St. Augustine Amphitheatre BRITTANI MUELLER July 30, Music in the Box, Limelight Theatre 311, NEW POLITICS, PASSAFIRE Aug. 2, St. Augustine Amphitheatre POSTMODERN JUKEBOX, STRAIGHT NO CHASER Aug. 2, Daily’s Place KRACKAJAXX Aug. 2, Cheers Park Avenue SABRINA CARPENTER, ALEX AONO, NEW HOPE CLUB Aug. 2, Florida Theatre BERES HAMMOND Aug. 2, Mavericks Live FOREIGNER, CHEAP TRICK, JASON BONHAM’S LED ZEPPELIN EXPERIENCE Aug. 3, Daily’s Place BLACK CREEK RIZ’IN Aug. 3, Cheers Park Avenue XHALE Aug. 4 & 5, Cheers Park Avenue [neu] Sonics Improvised Music Fest: JAMISON WILLIAMS,

AG DAVIS, JASON DEAN ARNOLD, TIM ALBRO, ARVID SMITH, KOZAK/CARTWRIGHT/CARTWRIGHT, VERGE BLISS, DYLAN HOUSER, others Aug. 5 & 6, Space Gallery FOLK IS PEOPLE, COLLAPSIBLE B, DONNA FROST Aug. 5, Riverside Arts Market NEW MANTRA, THETWOTAKES Aug. 8, Jack Rabbits The AUSTRALIAN PINK FLOYD SHOW Aug. 9, Florida Theatre LOVE MONKEY Aug. 11 & 12, Cheers Park Avenue DONALD FAGEN & the NIGHTFLYERS Aug. 12, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MORRIS DAY & the TIME, RUDE BOYS, LAKESIDE, READY for the WORLD, TROOP, ADINA HOWARD Aug. 12, Morocco Shrine Auditorium RONAN SCHOOL of MUSIC, JULIE DURDEN, KATHERINE ARCHER, MODERN MONSTERS Aug. 12, Riverside Arts Market LIL YACHTY Aug. 16, Mavericks Live FUTURE Aug. 16, Daily’s Place FRATELLO Aug. 16, Cheers Park Avenue THE FIREWATER TENT REVIVAL Aug. 17, Cheers Park Avenue JASON ALDEAN, CHRIS YOUNG, KANE BROWN, DEEJAY SILVER Aug. 17, Veterans Memorial Arena ALBERT CASTIGLIA Aug. 18, Mojo Kitchen OZONE BABY Aug. 18 & 19, Cheers Park Avenue MATCHBOX TWENTY, COUNTING CROWS Aug. 19, Daily’s Place MADI CARR, UNDERHILL ROSE, JERRY MANISCALCO Aug. 19, Riverside Arts Market MARY J. BLIGE Aug. 23, Daily’s Place PETER WHITE, EUGE GROOVE Aug. 23, P.V.C. Hall BLISTUR Aug. 23, Cheers Park Avenue SECOND SHOT BAND Aug. 24, Cheers Park Avenue MONSTERS of MOCK Aug. 25, Mavericks Live JO KOY Aug. 25, Florida Theatre FALLEN EMPIRE Aug. 25 & 26, Cheers Park Avenue St. Johns Riverkeeper River Ruckus: MERE WOODARD, EDDIE COTTON & the UNCANNY VALLEY BOYS, POPP OVER AMERICA Aug. 26, Riverside Arts Market LEE HUNTER, JOEY KERR Aug. 27, Music in the Box, Limelight Theatre LIFEHOUSE, SWITCHFOOT Aug. 27, Daily’s Place JULIA GULIA Aug. 30, Cheers Park Avenue GOO GOO DOLLS, PHILLIP PHILLIPS Sept. 2, Daily’s Place STRANGERWOLF, GABE DARLING, ALLIE & the KATS Sept. 2, Riverside Arts Market CATFISH & the BOTTLEMEN Sept. 4, Mavericks Live PARAMORE Sept. 6, T-U Center BLACKBERRY SMOKE, The CHRIS ROBINSON BROTHERHOOD Sept. 8, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Sing Out Loud Festival: STEVE EARLE, LAKE STREET DIVE, WOLF PARADE, DIRTY DOZEN BRASS BAND, LOS LOBOS, LUCERO, DEER TICK, LANGHORNE SLIM, LYDIA LOVELESS, others Sept. 8-10, 15-17 & 22-24, St. Augustine BRYAN ADAMS Sept. 9, Daily’s Place A NICE PAIR, CYRUS QARANTA, ARVID SMITH, LINDA GRENVILLE Sept. 9, Riverside Arts Market ADAM ANT Sept. 10, Florida Theatre MARSHALL TUCKER BAND Sept. 14, Florida Theatre WIDESPREAD PANIC Sept. 15-17, St. Augustine Amphitheatre TIM McGRAW & FAITH HILL Sept. 16, Veterans Memorial Arena JESSE MONTOYA, MARK WILLIAMS & BLUE HORSE, DONNA FROST Sept. 16, Riverside Arts Market RAUL MIDON Sept. 16, Ritz Theatre SAMMY HAGAR & the CIRCLE (Michael Anthony, Jason Bonham, Vic Johnson), COLLECTIVE SOUL Sept. 20, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ZAC BROWN BAND Sept. 21, Daily’s Place UB40 LEGENDS ALI, ASTRO & MICKEY Sept. 21, St. Augustine Amphitheatre

JULY 12-18, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 19

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC YOUNG the GIANT, COLD WAR KIDS, JOYWAVE Sept. 22, Daily’s Place SELWYN BIRCHWOOD Sept. 22, Mojo Kitchen BROADWAY BOYS Sept. 22, Ritz Theatre LAURYN HILL, NAS, CHRONIXX Sept. 23, Daily’s Place Festival of Flight: Angels for Allison: KIM RETEGUIZ, CORTNIE FRAZIER Sept. 23, Riverside Arts Market THE PSYCHEDELIC FURS, BASH & POP, TOMMY STINSON Sept. 23, P.V.C. Hall ANCIENT CITY SLICKERS Sept. 24, Music in the Box, Limelight Theatre BRIAN REGAN Sept. 24, Florida Theatre KATIE THIROUIX Sept. 24, Ritz Theatre TERRI CLARK Sept. 27, P.V.C. Hall DARYL HALL & JOHN OATES, ST. PAUL & the BROKEN BONES Sept. 28, Veterans Memorial Arena ALISON KRAUSS, DAVID GRAY Sept. 28, St. Augustine Amphitheatre GHOST MICE & LYCKA TILL Sept. 28, Rain Dogs STEVE FORBERT Sept. 30, Mudville Music Room BILLY & BELLA, MIKE SHACKELFORD BAND, SCOTT JONES DANCERS Sept. 30, Riverside Arts Market TROMBONE SHORTY & ORLEANS AVENUE Oct. 1, P.V. C. Hall JOSEPH Oct. 2, P.V.C. Hall JESSE COOK Oct. 3, Florida Theatre HARD WORKING AMERICANS Oct. 4, P.V.C. Hall JUDAH & The LION Oct. 10, Mavericks Live The Smooth Tour: FLORIDA GEORGIA LINE, NELLY, CHRIS LANE Oct. 12, Veterans Memorial Arena Suwannee Roots Revival: BÉLA FLECK, ABIGAIL WASHBURN, STEEP CANYON RANGERS, The WOOD BROTHERS, DONNA the BUFFALO Oct. 12-15, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park LYNYRD SKYNYRD, The OUTLAWS Oct. 13, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DAVINA SOWERS & the VEGABONDS Oct. 12, Ritz Theatre The JAMES HUNTER SIX Oct. 16, P.V.C. Hall CONOR OBERST, The FELICE BROTHERS Oct. 17, P.V.C. Hall Once a Month Punk: SCATTER BRAINS, LOOSE BEARINGS Oct. 19, Blue Water Daiquiri & Oyster Bar TEMPTATIONS, FOUR TOPS Oct. 20, Florida Theatre SPOON Oct. 21, Mavericks Live The CALIFORNIA HONEYDROPS Oct. 21, P.V.C. Hall The AVETT BROTHERS Oct. 21, St. Augustine Amphitheatre LORDS of ACID Oct. 22, Mavericks Live SANTANA Oct. 24, Daily’s Place KINGS of LEON, DAWES Oct. 25, Daily’s Place BROADWAY’S NEXT HIT MUSICAL Oct. 25, Ritz Theatre ANDY MINEO Oct. 26, Mavericks Live

Local jam band heavyweights BONNIE BLUE perform July 13 at Surfer the Bar, Jax Beach.

MERCYME Oct. 26, T-U Center for the Performing Arts TOAD the WET SPROCKET Oct. 27, P.V.C. Hall THE MAGPIE SALUTE Oct. 29, Florida Theatre MICHAEL LAGASSE & FRIENDS Oct. 29, Music in the Box, Limelight Theatre JOHNNYSWIM Nov. 1, P.V.C. Hall GARY OWEN Nov. 3, Florida Theatre JOHN CLEESE (screens Monty Python & the Holy Grail) Nov. 4, Florida Theatre SISTER HAZEL Nov. 4, P.V.C. Hall JETHRO TULL Nov. 7, Daily’s Place NOBUTU Nov. 7, Ritz Theatre CHRIS SMITHER Nov. 10, Mudville Music Room CHRIS STAPLETON’S All American Road Show: MARTY STUART, BRENT COBB Nov. 11, Veterans Memorial Arena OTTMAR LIEBERT, LUNA NEGRA Nov. 12, P.V.C. Hall SON VOLT Nov. 17, St. Augustine Amphitheatre’s Backyard Stage BEN FOLDS Nov. 10, Florida Theatre JOHN McLAUGHLIN, JIMMY HERRING (play Mahavisnu Orchestra) Nov. 24, Florida Theatre DAVE KOZ, PETER WHITE, RICK BRAUN, DAVID BENOIT, SELINA ALBRIGHT Nov. 25, Florida Theatre KANSAS Dec. 2, Florida Theatre D.R.I., KAUTSIK Dec. 6, Nighthawks GRANGER SMITH, LAUREN ALAINA, MIDLAND, DYLAN SCOTT Dec. 7, Times-Union Center Moran Theater

JANET JACKSON Dec. 12, Veterans Memorial Arena JOHN PRINE Dec. 13, Florida Theatre BEN HAGGARD Dec. 13, P.V.C. Hall HARLEY FLANAGAN (Cro-Mags) Dec. 17, Nighthawks GABRIEL IGLESIAS Dec. 21, Florida Theatre DONNA the BUFFALO Dec. 29, P.V.C. Hall A TEMPTATIONS REVUE, BO HENDERSON Jan. 13, Ritz Theatre MARY WILSON (The Supremes) Feb. 3, Ritz Theatre JOHN McCUTCHEON Feb. 8, P.V.C. Hall The LANGSTON HUGHES PROJECT Feb. 10, Ritz Theatre The HOT SARDINES Feb. 13, Florida Theatre PAULA POUNDSTONE Feb. 16, Florida Theatre GEORGE WINSTON Feb. 23, P.V.C. Hall MICHAEL McDONALD Feb. 27, Florida Theatre JOHN HAMMOND March 3, P.V.C. Hall TIERNEY SUTTON BAND March 4, Ritz Theatre MIKE + The MECHANICS March 21, P.V.C. Hall STEEP CANYON RANGERS March 22, Florida Theatre BRUCE COCKBURN April 19, P.V.C. Hall BLACK JACKET SYMPHONY: Sgt. Pepper’s 50th Anniversary Tour April 27, P.V.C. Hall

LIVE MUSIC CLUBS

AMELIA ISLAND + FERNANDINA

ALLEY CAT BEER HOUSE, 316 Centre St., 491-1001 Amy Basse every Fri. Dan Voll 6:30 p.m. every Wed. John Springer every Thur. & Sat. LA MANCHA, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646 Miguel Paley 5:30-9 p.m. every Fri.-Sun. Javier Parez every Sun. SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652 Pili Pili July 12. Tad Jennings July 13. Jamie Renae Duo, Tiki Music July 14. Michael & the Ambiguous Duo, Honeybadgers, Davis Turner 8 p.m. July 15. Cassidy & Nick, JC & Mike July 16. Mark O’Quinn July 18. The Brown Goose 6 p.m. July 20 SURF RESTAURANT, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Katfish Lee July 12. Petty Hearts Band 6 p.m. July 13. Jimmy Beats 4:30 p.m. July 16. Dan Voll 6 p.m. July 17. J.C. Band 6 p.m. July 18

AVONDALE + ORTEGA

CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. Jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free 9 p.m. Tue. & Thur. Indie dance 9 p.m. Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance Fri. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200 Live music every Thur.-Sat.

THE BEACHES (All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted)

20 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 12-18, 2017

BLUE WATER DAIQUIRI & OYSTER BAR, 205 First St. N., 249-0083 Live music most weekends BRASS ANCHOR PUB, 2292 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0301 Joe Oliff 8 p.m. July 12. Black Water Swamp Band 9 p.m. July 14. Live music on weekends BRIX TAPHOUSE, 300 Second St. N., 241-4668 Clay Brewer July 14 CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 249-9595 DJ Heather every Wed. DJ Jerry every Thur. DJ Hal every Fri. & Sat. Michael Funge 6:30 p.m. every Sun. FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & TEQUILA BAR, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680 3 the Band 9 p.m. July 13. Savanna Leigh Bassett July 16 FLY’S TIE IRISH PUB, 177 Sailfish Dr., AB, 246-4293 Live music on weekends GREEN ROOM BREWING, 228 Third St. N., 201-9283 Chris Turner July 16 GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925 Groov 7:30 p.m. every Wed. Michael Smith every Thur. Milton Clapp every Fri. Under the Bus every Sat. Robert Eccles 6 p.m. every Sun. LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 First St. N., 249-5181 Swim in the Wild 8 p.m. July 14. Ginger Beard Man every Wed. Split Tone every Thur. Chillula every Sun. K-Sick every Mon. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 Third St. N., 241-5600 Custard Pie 9 p.m. July 13. Bonnie Blue July 14 MEZZA RESTAURANT & BAR, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573 Gypsies Ginger every Wed. Mike Shackelford, Steve Shanholtzer every Thur. Mezza Shuffle Mon. Trevor Tanner Tue. MOJO KITCHEN, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636 Parker Urban Band, Bobby Lee Rodgers Trio 10 p.m. July 21 OCEAN 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., AB, 247-0060 Taylor Roberts 7 p.m. July 12

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877 Paul Lundgren Band 9 p.m. July 14 & 15. Billy Bowers 6 p.m. July 19. Live music every Wed.-Sun. SLIDERS SEAFOOD GRILLE, 218 First St., NB, 246-0881 Live music every weekend SOUTHERN GROUNDS & CO., 200 First St., NB, 249-2922 Jazz Corner 6 p.m. every Tue. SURFER The BAR, 200 First St. N., 372-9756 Soulo 9 p.m. July 12. Bonnie Blue 9 p.m. July 13. Crane 9:30 p.m. July 14. Sowflo, Just Chameleons 9:30 p.m. July 15. Arise Roots, Jahmen, Dubbest 7 p.m. July 19. Live music every weekend WHISKEY JAX, 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy., 853-5973 Chris Thomas Band 8 p.m. July 13. Sidewalk 65 8:30 p.m. July 14. Ginger Beard Man July 15. Jerry Maniscalco July 16. Blues Club every Tue.

CAMDEN COUNTY, GA.

CAPTAIN STAN’S Smokehouse, 700 Bedell Dr., Woodbine, 912-729-9552 Eddie Pickett every Wed. Live music Wed.-Sat. J’S TAVERN, 711 Osborne St., St. Marys, 912-882-5280 Live music most weekends

DOWNTOWN

1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N., 345-5760 Born of Osiris, Volumes, Betraying The Martyrs, Widowmaker 6 p.m. July 12. Resinated, Ries Brothers 8 p.m. July 13. Skyview, The Dog Apollo, Kelly White 7:30 p.m. July 14. In Business 8 p.m. July 15. Adrenaline Mob, Burden Affinity, Inner Demons 6 p.m. July 16. Teen Divorce, Stay Here, Two Story Motel, Divorce Culture 7 p.m. July 17 DE REAL TING, 128 W. Adams St., 633-9738 Ras AJ, De Lions of Jah 7 p.m. July 14 DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 DJ Brandon every Thur. DJ NickFresh every Sat. DJ Randall every Mon. DJ Hollywood every Tue. FIONN MacCOOL’S, Jacksonville Landing, 374-1247 Spade McQuade 6 p.m. July 12. Ace Winn 8 p.m. July 15. Live music most weekends HOURGLASS PUB, 345 E. Bay St., 469-1719 Singer/songwriter open mic 7 p.m. every Sun. Live music 9:30 p.m. every Fri. INTUITION ALE WORKS, 929 E. Bay St., 683-7720 Cain’t Never Could July 20 JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 Live music for Adamec Bike Night July 13. Boogie Freaks 8 p.m. July 14. Hard 2 Handle 8 p.m. July 15. 418 Band July 16 MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Shotgun 10 p.m. every Sat. MAVERICKS LIVE, Jax Landing, 356-1110 Washed Out, Dega, Tomboi 8 p.m. July 14. Lary Over and Darell July 21. Taking Back Sunday, Modern Chemistry July 22. Joe Buck, DJ Justin every Thur.-Sat. MYTH NIGHTCLUB, 333 E. Bay St., 707-0474 XXCess Wednesdays July 12. Girl Power July 15. DJ Law, Artik, Killoala, D2tay every Wed. DJs for Latin Nite every Sat.

FLEMING ISLAND

BOONDOCKS GRILL & BAR, 2808 Henley Rd., Green Cove, 406-9497 Ivan Smith 6 p.m. July 12. Walt Kulwicki July 13. Mark Johns, Marty Farmer July 14. Lee Blake, Dakota July 15. Redfish Rich July 16. Mark Evans July 18. Mark Johns July 19. Marty Farmer July 20 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999 Kurt Lanham 8:30 p.m. July 13. Felix Chang 8:30 p.m. July 15 WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Live music every weekend

INTRACOASTAL

CLIFF’S Bar & Grill, 3033 Monument Rd., Ste. 2, 645-5162 Hard to Handle July 12. Fratello July 14. Krush July 15. Circus July 19. Live music every weekend. Open mic every Tue. JERRY’S Sports Bar & Grille, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766 Yowsah 7:30 p.m. July 14. Boogie Freaks 8:30 p.m. July 15

MANDARIN

ENZA’S, 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 109, 268-4458 Brian Iannucci July 12 & 16 TAPS BAR & GRILL, 2220 C.R. 210, St. Johns, 819-1554 Chuck Nash 9 p.m. July 15. Live music every weekend

ORANGE PARK + MIDDLEBURG

CHEERS PARK AVENUE, 1138 Park Ave., 269-4855 Last Stand 9:30 p.m. July 12. Lonely Highway 9:30 p.m. July 13. No Saints 9:30 p.m. July 14 & 15. DEE’S MUSIC BAR, 2141 Loch Rane Blvd., Ste. 140, 375-2240 Eviction 6 p.m. July 13. DJ Toy every Wed. Live music every weekend The HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael on the piano every Tue.-Sat. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999 Live music every Fri. & Sat. The ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Mishka, Sailor Jane 10 p.m. July 14. Tom Bennett Band, Melt Behind The Wheel 10 p.m. July 15. DJ Big Mike July 13. SHARK CLUB, 714 Park Ave., 215-1557 Digital Skyline 9 p.m. July 12. Tom Bennett Band 9 p.m. July 13

PONTE VEDRA

PUSSER’S GRILLE, 816 A1A, 280-7766 Jay Peele 9 p.m. July 12. Ramona Quimby July 13 & 15. Ryan Campbell July 14. Sam McDonald July 16. Stephen Pigman 6 p.m. July 19. Live music every Fri. & Sat. TABLE 1, 330 A1A N., 280-5515 Billy Bowers 6 p.m. July 12. Live music most weekends

RIVERSIDE + WESTSIDE

OVERSET

ACROSS the STREET, 948 Edgewood Ave. S., 683-4182 Days to Come 9 p.m. July 15. Live music most weekends HOBNOB, 220 Riverside Ave., Ste. 10, 513-4272 Live music every Fri. MURRAY HILL Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave., 388-7807 Richard James, Inner Light, Amy Lord, Rod & Fran, Big H3LP, Paula Keeton, G.L. Hodges, Demo, Vell P, Soul MacKenzi Band, The Prophet Thomas Webster, The Inner City Worship Experience, Johnny Andrews 7 p.m. July 15 NIGHTHAWKS, 2952 Roosevelt Blvd. Bus Driver, Zeroh, Stono Echo, The Duval Spit July 12. Culture Killer, Throat Chop, Riot Stares, Disdain, Mindfield, Out of Body, Justice Against Brutality July 14. Lesa Silvermore, Sam Robertson, Jackie Stranger, Shannon Crabtree 8 p.m. July 15. Meyhem Lauren, Steam Mechanics, DJ Dialectable Beats, Swordz July 16. Stone, Broken Teeth, Blame God, Justice Tackle, Damage Done, Relapse A.D. July 19 RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969 Soapbox Soliloquy 8 p.m. July 14. Von Strantz July 19 RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449 Savanna Leigh Bassett, Blue Veronica, Elvis Kabong! July 15 SOUTH KITCHEN & SPIRITS, 3638 Park St., 475-2362 Live music most weekends UNITY PLAZA, 220 Riverside Ave., Ste. 10, 513-4272 J Collins, American Young July 13

ST. AUGUSTINE

CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 Tony Scozzaro July 13. Deron Baker, Chillula July 14. Evan D, Billy Buchanan & Free Avenue July 15. Vinny Jacobs 2 p.m. July 16 DOS COFFEE & WINE, 300 San Marco Ave., 342-2421 Live music every weekend MARDI GRAS, 123 San Marco Ave., 823-8806 Danger Mouse 9 p.m. July 14. Funk Shui 9 p.m. July 15. Fre Gordon, acoustic open mic 7 p.m. Sun. Justin Gurnsey, Musicians Exchange 8 p.m. Mon. THE ORIGINAL CAFÉ ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311 The Cave Singers, The Best of Synthia 8:30 p.m. July 15 PROHIBITION KITCHEN, 119 St. George St., 209-5704 Leelynn Osborn 8 p.m. July 12. Danielle Eva Jazz Duo, Barrett Thomas July 13. Raisin Cake Orchestra, Luvu July 14. Junco Royals, Let’s Ride Brass July 15. The WillowWacks, Colton McKenna July 16. Rachael Warfield, Ramona Quimby July 17 SARBEZ, 115 Anastasia Blvd., 342-0632 The Cosmic Groove, Timothy Eerie, Soapbox Soliloquy 9 p.m. July 12. Live music every weekend SHANGHAI NOBBY’S, 10 Anastasia Blvd., 547-2188 Holy Human, The Ned, Wounded Shadow, Near Empty 8 p.m. July 15 TEMPO, 16 Cathedral Pl., 342-0286 Kenyon Dye 7 p.m. July 13. Ricardo Perez 8:30 p.m. July 14. Jazzy Blue, Integral Latin Band July 15. Jax English Salsa Band 6 p.m. July 16 TRADEWINDS LOUNGE, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Those Guys July 14 & 15. The Down Low every Wed.

SAN MARCO

CUBA LIBRE Bar, 2578 Atlantic Blvd., 399-0609 Tee Grizzley 10 p.m. July 12 JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 The Twins & Cortez Garza, Jacob Hudson 8 p.m. July 12. Stitches, Mike Busey, Trace Cyrus 7:30 p.m. July 13. Supersuckers, Gorilla Candy, The Chrome Fangs 8 p.m. July 14. Broken Silence, Angry Planet 8 p.m. July 15. Accelerator, Unearthly Child 7 p.m. July 16. Public 7 p.m. July 18. Vesperteen, DBMK, Faze Wave 7 p.m. July 19 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Larry Mangum, Ellen Bukstell, Neil Dixon 7:30 p.m. July 15 VETERANS UNITED Craft Brewery, 8999 Western Way, Ste. 104, 253-3326 Bear & Robert 5 p.m. July 15

SOUTHSIDE, ARLINGTON & BAYMEADOWS

CORNER BISTRO & WINE BAR, 9823 Tapestry Park Cir., 619-1931 Matthew Hall 8 p.m. every Thur.-Sat. GREEK STREET Café, 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 503-0620 Tavernalive 6 p.m. every Mon. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 997-1955 Courtnie Frazier July 14. Barrett Jockers July 15 WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., 634-7208 Acoustic July 12. Melissa Smith July 13. Smokestack 9 p.m. July 14. Go Get Gone 9 p.m. July 15

SPRINGFIELD + NORTHSIDE

CROOKED ROOSTER BREWERY, 148 S. Sixth St., Macclenny, 653-2337 Wade Barlow Pickers 8 p.m. July 15. Open mic 7 p.m. every Wed. FLIGHT 747 LOUNGE, 1500 Airport Rd., 741-4331 Live music every weekend MELLOW MUSHROOM, 15170 Max Leggett Pkwy., 757-8843 Live music most every weekend OCEANWAY BAR, 12905 Main St. N., 647-9127 Skytrain 8 p.m. July 15 SHANTYTOWN PUB, 22 W. Sixth, 798-8222 Live music every weekend

_________________________________________ To list your band’s gig, please send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price, and a contact number to print to Daniel A. Brown, email dbrown@folioweekly.com or by the U.S. Postal Service, 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Events run on a space-available basis. Deadline is at noon every Wednesday for the next Wednesday’s publication.

JULY 12-18, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 21

FOLIO DINING Avondale's SOUTH KITCHEN & SPIRITS serves gussied-up Southern cuisine and hand-crafted cocktails.

photo by Madison Gross

AMELIA ISLAND + FERNANDINA BEACH

THE AMELIA TAVERN, 318 Centre St., 310-6088, theameliatavern.com. Contemporary hand-crafted, locally sourced comfort fare: local shrimp, small/big plates, organic greens, sandwiches. $$ FB TO D M; L & D Tu-Sa; Brunch Su. BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F On the water at Centre Street’s end. Southern hospitality, upscale atmosphere; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo.com. F In historic building, family-owned café has worldly fare, made-from-scratch dressings, sauces, desserts, sourcing fresh greens, veggies, seafood. Dine in or al fresco under oak-shaded patio. Microbrew Karibrew Pub has beer brewed onsite, imports. $$ FB K TO R, Su; L Daily, D Tu-Su in season THE CRAB TRAP, 31 N. Second St., 261-4749, ameliacrabtrap.com. F Nearly 40 years, family-ownedand-operated. Fresh local seafood, steaks, specials. HH. $$ FB L D Daily JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddianescafe.com. F Renovated 1887 shotgun house. Faves: jambalaya, French toast, pancakes, mac & cheese, crêpes. Vegan items. Inside or porch overlooking historic area. $$ BW K TO B L D Daily LA MANCHA, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646. Spanish, Portuguese fare, Brazilian flair. Tapas, seafood, steaks, sangria. Drink specials. AYCE paella Sun. $$$ FB K TO D Nightly LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 474272 S.R. 200, 844-2225. F SEE ORANGE PARK. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moonriverpizza.net. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Authentic Northern-style pizzas, 20+ toppings, pie/slice. Calzones. $ BW TO L D M-Sa THE MUSTARD SEED CAFÉ, 833 Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Casual organic eatery, juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juices, herbal teas, coffees, daily specials. $$ K TO B L M-Sa

DINING DIRECTORY KEY AVERAGE ENTRÉE COST $ $$

< $10

$$$

10- $20

$$$$

20-$35 > $35

ABBREVIATIONS & SPECIAL NOTES BW = Beer/Wine

L = Lunch

FB = Full Bar

D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted Free Folio Weekly Bite Club Event F = Folio Weekly Distribution Spot

K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch

To list your restaurant, call your account manager or call or text SAM TAYLOR, Folio Weekly publisher, at 904-860-2465 (email: staylor@folioweekly.com). 22 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 12-18, 2017

THE PATIO PLACE, 416 Ash St., 410-3717, patioplacebistro.com. Bistro/wine bar/crêperie’s global menu uses crêpes: starters, entrées, shareables, desserts. $$ BW TO B L D Tu-Su POINTE RESTAURANT, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabethpointelodge.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. In award-winning inn Elizabeth Pointe Lodge. Seaside dining; in or out. Hot buffet breakfast daily, full lunch menu. Homestyle soups, specialty sandwiches, desserts. $$$ BW K B L D Daily THE SALTY PELICAN BAR & GRILL, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. 2nd-story outdoor bar. T.J. & Al offer local seafood, fish tacos, Mayport shrimp, po’boys, cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Oceanfront. Award-winning handmade crabcakes, fried pickles, fresh seafood. Open-air 2nd floor balcony, playground. $$ FB K L D Daily THE SURF RESTAURANT & BAR, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711, thesurfonline.com. Oceanview dining since 1957, inside or on the deck. Steaks, seafood, burgers, daily food and drink specials; Wing It Wednesdays. $$ FB K TO L D Daily T-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. Eighth St., 261-6310. F Family-owned-and-operated 18+ years. Blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L M-Sa

ARLINGTON + REGENCY

LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1301 Monument Rd., Ste. 5, 724-5802. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

AVONDALE + ORTEGA

HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, harpoonlouies.net. F Locally owned & operated 20+ years. American pub. 1/2-lb. burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta. Local beers, HH. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MOJO NO. 4 URBAN BBQ & WHISKEY BAR, 3572 St. Johns Ave., Ste. 1, 381-6670. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Pulled pork and Carolina-style barbecue. Delta fried catfish. Avondale’s Mojo has shrimp & grits, specialty cocktails. Local musicians on weekends. $$ FB K TO L D Daily PINEGROVE MARKET & DELI, 1511 PineGrove Ave., 389-8655, pinegrovemarket.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. 40+ years. Burgers, Cubans, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher, USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. Fri. & Sat. fish fry. $ BW TO B L D M-Sa RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaurantorsay.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. French/ Southern bistro; local organic ingredients. Steak frites, mussels, pork chops. $$$ FB R, Su; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simplysaras.net. F Down-home fare from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Tu-Sa, B Sa SOUTH KITCHEN & SPIRITS, 3638 Park St., 475-2362, south.kitchen. Southern classics: crispy catfish w/ smoked gouda grits, family-style fried chicken, burgers, vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free options. $$ FB K TO L D Daily

BAYMEADOWS

AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE INTRACOASTAL. INDIA’S, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajaxcom. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Authentic cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetables, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L M-Sa; D Nightly LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., 425-9142. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE SAN MARCO.

DINING DIRECTORY

BEACHES

(Venues are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.) THE CRAFT PIZZA CO., 240 Third St. N., Neptune Beach, 853-6773, thecraftpizzaco.com. F Innovative pies made with the finest ingredients, many locally sourced. Dine inside or out. $$ BW L D Daily ANGIE’S SUBS, 1436 Beach Blvd., 246-2519. ANGIE’S GROM SUBS, 204 Third Ave. S., 241-3663. F Fresh ingredients, 25+ years. Huge salads, blue-ribbon iced tea. Grom has Sun. brunch, no alcohol. $ K BW TO L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 2400 S. Third St., Ste. 201, 374-5735. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. BURRITO GALLERY, 300 Beach Blvd., Ste. 1, 246-6521, burritogallery.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Relocated, all grown up. Same great quality burritos, tacos, enchiladas; fast service. Craft cocktails. HH M-F. $ K FB TO L D Daily CRUISERS GRILL, 319 23rd Ave. S., 270-0356, cruisersgrill. com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Locally owned & operated 20+ years. Half-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, big salads, award-winning cheddar fries, sangria. $ BW K TO L D Daily DELICOMB DELICATESSEN & ESPRESSO BAR, 102 Sixth Ave. N., 372-4192, delicomb.com. Family-owned-andoperated. Everything’s made with natural and organic ingredients—no hydrogenated oilsor HFCS. Granola, tuna salad, kimchi, wraps, spicy panini melts. $ TO B L Tu-Su EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001, europeanstreet.com. F SEE RIVERSIDE. FAMOUS TOASTERY, 311 N. Third St., 372-0712, famoustoastery.com. Corned beef hash, gluten-free pancakes, omelets, toast. Wraps, Bloody Marys, mimosas, peach Bellini. $$ FB K TO B L Daily

GRILL ME!

BITE-SIZED

OUTERBANKS SPORTS BAR & GRILLE, 140 The Lakes Blvd., Ste. H, Kingsland, 912-729-5499. Fresh seafood, burgers, steaks, wings. $$ FB TO D Nightly

A taste of THE ISLANDS right here in River City

DOWNTOWN

THE BANK BAR B Q & BAKERY, 331 W. Forsyth St., 388-1600, thebankbbq.com. 28 years’ experience means barbecue done right. Onsite bakery has specialty cakes. $ TO L & D M-F BURRITO GALLERY & BAR, 21 E. Adams St., 598-2922. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Innovative Southwestern fare; ginger teriyaki tofu, beef barbacoa, wraps, tacos. $ BW TO L D M-Sa CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth, 356-8282, casadoraitalian. com. F Serving Italian fare, 40+ years: veal, seafood, pizza. Homemade salad dressing. $ BW K L M-F; D M-Sa OLIO MARKET, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com. F Scratch soups, sandwiches. Duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L M-F; D F & Sa SPLIFF’S GASTROPUB, 15 N. Ocean St., 844-5000. Music venue has munchie apps, mac & cheese dishes, pockets, gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches. HH M-F. $ BW L D M-Sa URBAN GRIND COFFEE COMPANY, 45 W. Bay, Ste. 102, 516-7799, urbangrind.coffee. Locally roasted whole bean brewed coffees, espressos, pastries, smoothies, bagels. Chicken/tuna salad, sandwiches. WiFi. $ B L M-F. URBAN GRIND EXPRESS, 50 W. Laura, 516-7799. SEE ABOVE. ZODIAC BAR & GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283, thezodiacbarandgrill.com. 16+ years. Mediterranean cuisine, American fare, paninis, vegetarian dishes. Daily lunch buffet. Espressos, hookahs. HH M-F $ FB L M-F; D W-Sa

photo pph pho hoto by Brentley Stead

NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 11030 Baymeadows Rd., 260-2791. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE MANDARIN. PATTAYA THAI GRILLE, 9551 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1, 646-9506, ptgrille.com. Since 1989, the family-owned place has offered an extensive menu of traditional Thai, vegetarian, new-Thai; curries, seafood, noodles, soups. Low-sodium & gluten-free. $$$ BW TO L D Tu-Sa THE WELL WATERING HOLE, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9, 737-7740, thewellwateringhole.com. Local craft beers, glass/bottle wines. Meatloaf sandwich, pulled Peruvian chicken, vegan black bean burgers. $$ BW K TO L M-F; D Tu-Sa WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 135, 634-7208, whiskeyjax.com. Gastropub. Craft beers, gourmet burgers, handhelds, signature plates. HH. $$ FB L D F-Su; D Nightly

FLEMING ISLAND

GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 1915 East-West Pkwy., 541-0009. F SEE RIVERSIDE. MOJO SMOKEHOUSE, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. SEE AVONDALE. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteysfishcamp.com. F Real fish camp. Gator tail, freshwater catfish, daily specials, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar. Come by boat, bike or car. $ FB K TO L Tu-Su; D Nightly

INTRACOASTAL WEST

AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. 30 years of awesome gourmet pizza, baked dishes. All day HH M-Th. $ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

CHAS NEMECEK

Bottlenose Brewing

9700 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1 • Southside Born in: Jacksonville, FL Years in Biz: 8 Favorite Restaurant: Jalapeño Express Favorite Cuisine Style: Indian Go-To Ingredients: Can never have enough onions or beer Ideal Meal: Burgers on a grill Will Not Cross My Lips: Eggs Insider's Secret: Apple cider vinegar is culinary windex. Culinary Treat: Home-cooked meal FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & TEQUILA BAR, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680, flyingiguana.com. F Latin American: tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana fare. 100+ tequilas. $ FB TO L D Daily GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925, gustojax.com. Classic Old World Roman cuisine, large Italian menu: homestyle pasta, beef, chicken, fish delicacies; open pizza-tossing kitchen. Reservations encouraged. $$ FB TO L R D Tu-Su HAWKERS ASIAN STREET FARE, 241 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 425-1025. SEE RIVERSIDE. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 657 Third St. N., 247-9620. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 1534 3rd St. N., 853-6817. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT & BLUES BAR, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636. SEE AVONDALE. MSHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-2599, shackburgers.com. Burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes. Dine indoors or out. $$ BW L D Daily NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 1585 Third St. N., 458-1390. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE MANDARIN. RAGTIME TAVERN SEAFOOD & GRILL, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F 30+ years, iconic seafood place. Blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily HH, brunch Sun. $$ FB L D Daily SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 1018 Third St. N., 372-4456, saltlifefoodshack.com. Specialty items, tuna poke bowl, fresh sushi, Ensenada tacos, local fried shrimp. $$ FB K TO L D Daily V PIZZA, 528 First St. N., 853-6633, vpizza.com. Traditional Neapolitana artisan pizza from Naples – Italy, not Florida, made with fresh ingredients. $$ FB TO L D Daily WHISKEY JAX, 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy., 853-5973. SEE BAYMEADOWS.

CAMDEN COUNTY, GEORGIA

CAPTAIN STAN’S SMOKEHOUSE, 700 Bedell Dr., Woodbine, 912-729-9552. Barbecue, sides, hot dogs, burgers, desserts. Dine in or out on picnic tables. $$ FB K TO L & D Tu-Sa

MANDARIN + NW ST. JOHNS

AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE INTRACOASTAL. ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199, athenscafejax.com. 20+ years of Greek fare, serving dolmades (stuffed grape leaves), baby shoes (stuffed eggplant), Greek beers. Vegetarian-friendly. Full bar. Early bird menu Mon.-Fri. $$ FB L M-F; D M-Sa CRUISERS GRILL, 5613 San Jose Blvd., 737-2874. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES. FIRST COAST DELI & GRILL, 6082 St. Augustine Rd., 733-7477. Pancakes, bacon, sandwiches, burgers, wings. $ K TO B L Daily JAX DINER, 5065 St. Augustine Rd., 739-7070. New spot serves local produce, meats, breads, seafood. $ TO B L Daily METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO BAR-B-QUE, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200, mojobbq.com. SEE AVONDALE. NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Organic soups, baked items, sandwiches, prepared foods. Juice, smoothie, coffee bar. All-natural beer/wine. $ BW TO K B L D Daily V PIZZA, 12601 San Jose Blvd., 647-9424. SEE SAN MARCO.

ORANGE PARK

THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959, hilltop-club. com. Southern fine dining. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. Extensive bourbon selection. $$$ FB D Tu-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 165, 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 15, 272-3553. 5733 Roosevelt, 446-9500. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove, 284-7789, larryssubs.com. F Larry’s piles ’em high, serves ’em fast; 36+ years. Hot & cold subs, soups. Some Larry’s serve breakfast. $ K TO B L D Daily

TERRIFIC

PACIFIC

OVERSET

MARIANAS GRINDS OFFERS TRADITIONAL Pacific Islander fare of the Chamorro culture. What’s Chamorro? Picture palm fronds waving softly at sunset, the tidal pools ebbing and flowing as beautiful people stroll the shore. I mean, seriously good-looking, mingling Southeast Asians, Spanish colonials and Americans, who landed during WWII. The culture is rich with mystery, history, modern influences and a strong adherence to the ancient ways as well. This is all evident in the décor, the dishes, the staff (most are family) and the ambience at Marianas Grinds, a hidden gem on the Southside. Menu items are familiar–apps like lumpia ($1 each), beef or veg empanadas ($1.50 each) and Spam musubi ($2.75), my favorite. With a base of white rice, grilled Spam sliced on top, tied up neatly with a strip of seaweed, it’s like Spam sushi. It includes a side of fina’denne’(pronounced feenadenay), rather than the usual soy sauce. The delicious combo of vinegar, white or green onions, peppers and soy sauce is not a too-spicy mélange, but it is a too-delicious one. Don’t be shy–ask for several of the little cups of the stuff to douse on the rest of your meal.

BITE-SIZED MARIANAS GRINDS

11380 Beach Blvd., Ste. 10, Southside, 206-612-6596, facebook.com/marianasgrinds

Moving on: Loco Moco ($8.25) caught my eye. This dish is legit loco, and it works: A heaping pile of white rice with a burger patty, nicely seasoned, atop a fried egg, smothered in brown gravy. Check your taste buds with the pickled papaya. The paper-thin slices of tropical fruit are really nice tart accompaniments to all the fatty, starchy dishes. There’s a board listing the specials; it boggled my mind–what more can I order? Sometimes I see things like full snapper (market price) and go weak at the knees. We skipped that in favor of a more traditional oxtail stew and Chamorro Ramen. Of the two, the Ramen was the more impressive. A heady, savory broth and lots of noodles, it’s served in a huge bowl. What makes it Chamorro are the crisp, thinly sliced katsu chicken pieces, dressed in Japanese panko breading. Several breakfast meal options with a $6.75 price tag are actually served all day. Each includes a fried egg and fiesta rice (which just sounds like a party, doesn’t it?!), your choice of Portuguese sausage, fried Spam or chorizo. The chorizo sausage is sliced rather than ground. We didn’t even think twice: chorizo! The slices were thin, crispy and delightfully fatty. Mix with the rice and yolk from the cooked egg and ta-da! A new way to start each day (or finish it). After digging through all this tasty (and appealing–the visual presentation adds to the experience), we somehow still had room for dessert. We were lured by the brown sugarcovered, banana style, fried eggroll with scoops of vanilla ice cream. I could eat those little sugar bombs for dessert any day … every day! For the most authentic, homemade-style Chamorro food this side of Songsong, Marianas Grinds is the place. As they say, “Eat local, stay local.” Check it out! Brentley Stead biteclub@folioweekly.com JULY 12-18, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23

DINING DIRECTORY PINT-SIZED P INT-S SIZED Celebrate Belgian independence? WHY NOT?!

At CAFÉ KARIBO in Fernandina Beach, you can dine inside their historic building or in the al fresco atmosphere of an oak-shaded patio.

MEDIEVAL

TIMES BELGIUM IS HOME TO SOME OF THE WORLD’S best and most awarded beers. This year, for the first time, Belgian Beer Week is officially celebrated in the United States July 14-21, culminating on Belgium National Day, known as Feestdag, or party day. It commemorates the date that Belgium’s first king, Leopold I, took an oath of allegiance to the Belgian constitution in 1831. During the week, which is a joint effort among Belgian beer importers including Artisanal Imports, D&V International, Global Beer, Merchant du Vin, and the breweries they represent, beer aficionados are encouraged to try Belgian beers and discover the pleasurable results from hundreds of years of beer brewing. Though wine was the beverage of choice for the Romans who controlled much of Europe, beer was still popular with commoners. Because grape cultivation was difficult in the northern territory where modern-day Belgium is, beer made from grains that grew readily in the colder climes took hold as early as the third century. After the fall of the Roman Empire, the Catholic church took control of the continent and, as monks were already making beer for themselves, monasteries became hubs of brewing knowledge, known for the superior beers. Outside monasteries, village brewers flavored quaffs with a mixture of herbs and spices known as gruit, which lacked hops’ preservative qualities. As monasteries were exempt from the rule requiring brewers to purchase gruit from “gruithuis” (gruit house), they began adding hops to beers, to extend its shelf life. The flower of the hops vine became so popular as an ingredient in beer, in 1364 Emperor Charles IV decreed all beer brewed in the Holy Roman Empire and the German Nation must contain hops. The Flanders region of Belgium appealed and was permitted to continue using gruit. Consequently, there is a marked difference in the beer styles that developed in the relatively small region. Flanders brewers acidified beers, making them sour, while in Walloon, the other region of Belgium, hopped beers developed. Within Belgium there are many styles, but the ones that stand out the most include saisons or farmhouse ales, Trappist ales and sours. Saisons were originally brewed by Walloon farmers during the colder months for field and farm workers to drink in the summer. Because drinkable water was scarce, workers essentially survived on low-alcohol farmhouse ales during growing and harvesting. Though each farm had its own recipe, most saisons contained a healthy dose of hops and a handful of spices for flavoring. Trappist ales are produced by monks and are often stronger and sweeter than other Belgian beers. Some of the country’s most famous beer brands, such as Duvel, Chimay and the elusive Westvleteren XII, are brewed exclusively in monasteries. Sours are often produced using a process called spontaneous inoculation. Brewers like Cantillon don’t add yeast during the process, instead allowing wild yeast to infiltrate the wort to start fermentation. Other sour beers, including those by Rodenbach, are made by barrel-aging the wort, then allowing yeasts within the wooden barrels to start fermentation–or by adding fruit after a primary fermentation. This weekend, raise a glass of your favorite Belgian and toast some of the best brews on the planet. Marc Wisdom marc@folioweekly.com

PINT-SIZED

24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 12-18, 2017

METRO DINER, 2034 Kingsley Ave., 375-8548. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. MILL BASIN, 1754 Wells Rd., Orange Park, 644-8172, mill-basin.com. Serving modern interpretations of classic Italian fare and upscale craft cocktails. Late night menu available. Daily HH, brunch Sun. $$ FB L D Daily THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611, roadhouseonline.net. Sandwiches, wings, burgers, quesadillas for 35+ years. 75+ imported beers. $ FB L D Daily SNACSHACK BAKERY, 179 College Dr., Ste. 19, 322-1414, snacshack.menu. Bakery and café; sandwiches, coffees, bagels, muffins, breads, cookies, brownies, snack treats. $$ TO B BR L M-F SPRING PARK COFFEE, 328 Ferris St., Green Cove Springs, 531-9391, springparkcoffee.com. Cozy shop; fresh-roasted Brass Tacks coffee, handcrafted hot & cold drinks, specialty lattes, cappuccino, macchiato, teas, pastries, sandwiches, breakfast. $ B L D Daily

PONTE VEDRA BEACH

AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A, 543-1494. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE INTRACOASTAL. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 830 A1A N., Ste. 6, 273-3993. F SEE ORANGE PARK. MSHACK NOCATEE, 641 Crosswater Pkwy., 395-3575. SEE BEACHES. METRO DINER, 340 Front St., Ste. 700, 513-8422. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE SAN MARCO.

RIVERSIDE, 5 PTS + WESTSIDE

13 GYPSIES, 887 Stockton St., 389-0330, 13gypsies.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Authentic Mediterranean cuisine: chorizo, tapas, blackened cod, pork skewers, coconut mango curry chicken. Breads from scratch. $$ BW L D Tu-Sa, R Sa AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., Ste. 201, 388-8384. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE INTRACOASTAL. BLACK SHEEP, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, blacksheep5points.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. New American, Southern; local source ingredients. Specials, rooftop bar. HH. $$$ FB R Sa & Su; L M-F; D Nightly BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 869 Stockton St., Ste. 1, 855-1181, boldbeancoffee.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Small-batch, artisanal approach to sourcing and roasting single-origin, direct-trade coffees. Signature blends, handcrafted syrups, espressos, craft beers. $ BW TO B L Daily BRIXX WOOD FIRED PIZZA, 220 Riverside Ave., 300-3928, brixxpizza.com. Pizzas, pastas, soups. Glutenfree options. Daily specials, BOGO pizzas 10 p.m.-close. $$ FB K TO L D Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412, cornertaco.com. Made-from-scratch “Mexclectic street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free, vegetarian options. $ BW L D Tu-Su CUMMER CAFÉ, Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummer.org. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Light lunch, quick bites, locally roasted coffee, espresso-based beverages, sandwiches, gourmet desserts, daily specials. Dine in or in gardens. $ BW K L D Tu; L W-Su EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 2753 Park St., 384-9999. 130+ import beers, 20 on tap. Sandwiches. Dine outside at some EStreets. $ BW K L D Daily FIVE POINTS TAVERN, 1521 Margaret St., 549-5063, fivepointstavern.com. New American cosmopolitan place serves chef-curated dishes in a relaxed environment. $$ FB TO L & D Tu-Su GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. F Juice bar uses certified organic fruits, veggies. Artisanal cheeses, 300 craft,

import beers, 50 organic wines, produce, meats, vitamins, herbs, wraps, sides, sandwiches. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS ASIAN STREET FARE, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Authentic dishes from mobile stalls: BBQ pork char sui, beef haw fun, Hawkers baos, chow faan, grilled Hawker skewers. $ BW TO L D Daily IL DESCO, 2665 Park St., 290-6711, ildescojax.com. Authentic Italian cuisine; wood-fired pizzas, pasta, baked Italian dishes, raw bar, spaghetti tacos. Daily HH. $$-$$$ FB K TO L D Daily JOHNNY’S DELI & GRILLE, 474 Riverside Ave., 356-8055. F Casual; made-to-order sandwiches, wraps. $ TO B L M-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1509 Margaret St., 674-2794. 7895 Normandy Blvd., 781-7600. 8102 Blanding Blvd., 779-1933. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., 999-4600. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. THE MOSSFIRE GRILL, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434, mossfire.com. 2016 Best of Jax finalist. Near 5 Points intersection. Southwestern dishes: fish tacos, chicken enchiladas. HH M-Sa in upstairs lounge; HH all day Su. $$ FB K L D Daily MSHACK, 1012 Margaret St., 423-1283. SEE BEACHES. SOUTHERN ROOTS FILLING STATION, 1275 King St., 513-4726, southernrootsjax.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Fresh vegan fare; local, organic ingredients. Specials, on bread, local greens/rice, change daily. Sandwiches, coffees, teas. $ Tu-Su SUN-RAY CINEMA, 1028 Park St., 359-0047, sunraycinema.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Firstrun, indie and art films screened. Beer, local drafts, wine, pizza–Godbold, Black Lagoon Supreme–hot dogs, hummus, sandwiches, popcorn, nachos, brownies. $$ BW Daily SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside Ave., Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushicafejax.com. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Monster, Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll. Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. Inside/patio. $$ BW L D Daily

ST. AUGUSTINE

AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE INTRACOASTAL. CRUISERS GRILL, 3 St. George St., 824-6993. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE BEACHES. THE FLORIDIAN, 72 Spanish St., 829-0655, thefloridianstaug.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Updated Southern fare; fresh, local ingredients. Vegetarian, gluten-free option. Signature fried green tomato bruschetta, blackened fish cornbread stack; grits w/shrimp/fish/tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D W-M GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F 33+ years. Varied urban cuisine menu changes twice daily. Signature: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. $$ FB R Su; L D Daily MARDI GRAS SPORTS BAR, 123 San Marco Ave., 347-3288, mardibar.com. Wings, nachos, shrimp, chicken, Phillys, sliders, soft pretzels. $$ FB TO L D Daily MOJO OLD CITY BBQ, 5 Cordova St., 342-5264, mojobbq.com. SEE AVONDALE. O’LOUGHLIN PUB, 6975 A1A S., 429-9715. Familyowned-and-operated. Authentic fish & chips, shepherd’s pie, corned beef & cabbage, bangers & mash, duck wings. $$ FB K TO L D Daily

SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 321 A1A, 217-3256. SEE BEACHES. METRO DINER, 1000 S. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 758-3323. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. SHANGHAI NOBBY’S, 10 Anastasia Blvd., 547-2188. Cuban-style, Philly cheesesteak sandwiches. $$ FB

SAN MARCO + SOUTHBANK

THE BEARDED PIG SOUTHERN BBQ & BEER GARDEN, 1224 Kings Ave., 619-2247, thebeardedpigbbq.com. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Barbecue joint Southern style: brisket, pork, chicken, sausage, beef; veggie platters. $$ BW K TO Daily BISTRO AIX, 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox.com. F Mediterranean/French inspired menu changes seasonally. 250+ wines. Wood-fired oven baked, grilled specialties: pizza, pasta, risotto, steaks, seafood. Hand-crafted cocktails, specialty drinks. Dine outside. HH M-F. $$$ FB L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 1905 Hendricks Ave. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 398-9500. SEE RIVERSIDE. FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusionsushijax.com. F Upscale; fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, katsu, seafood. $$ K L D Daily KITCHEN ON SAN MARCO, 1402 San Marco Blvd., 396-2344, kitchenonsanmarco.com. Gastropub serves local, national craft beers, specialty cocktails. Seasonal menu, with fresh, locally sourced ingredients. $$ FB R Su; L D Daily METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metrodinercom. F 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Original upscale diner in a historic 1930s-era building. Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, soups. This one serves dinner nightly. $$ B R L D Daily PIZZA PALACE RESTAURANT & PIZZERIA, 1959 San Marco Blvd., 399-8815, pizzapalacejax.com. F Family-owned&-operated; spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, ravioli, lasagna, parmigiana. Dine outside. HH. $$ BW K TO L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco Blvd., 398-3005, tavernasanmarco.com. Chef Sam Efron’s authentic Italian; tapas, wood-fired pizza. Seasonal local produce, meats. Craft beer (some local), award-winning wine. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily V PIZZA, 1406 Hendricks Ave., 527-1511, vpizza.com. Serving true artisan Neapolitana pizzas, hand-tossed, thin or thick crust. Baked dishes, subs, stromboli, wings, wraps. $$ FB to L D Daily

SOUTHSIDE + TINSELTOWN

ALHAMBRA THEATRE & DINING, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. Open 50 years. Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus. Reservations. $$ FB D Tu-Su EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717. SEE RIVERSIDE. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F SEE ORANGE PARK. MARIANAS GRINDS, 11380 Beach Blvd., Ste. 10, 206-612-6596. Pacific Islander fare, chamorro culture. Soups, stews, fitada, beef oxtail, katden pika; empanadas, lumpia, chicken relaguen, BBQ-style ribs, chicken. $$ TO B L D Tu-Su MOXIE KITCHEN + COCKTAILS, 4972 Big Island Dr., 998-9744. 2016 Best of Jax Winner. Chef Tom Gray’s locally sourced contemporary American menu has starters—deviled farm eggs, chicken livers; favorites— chicken & waffles, Dr Pepper-glazed beef short ribs. Seared scallops, handmade gnocchi. Inventive cocktails, patio dining. HH daily. $$ FB K Su Br, L M-Sa; D Nightly

DINING DIRECTORY MSHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000. SEE BEACHES. OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr., 900-7730, ovintecom. Italy, Spain, Mediterranean. Small plates, tapas, charcuterie: ceviche fresco, pappardelle bolognese, lobster ravioli. 240-bottle/wines, 75/glass; craft spirits. $$ FB R, Su; D Nightly

SPRINGFIELD + NORTHSIDE

ANDY’S GRILL, 1810 W. Beaver St., 354-2821, jaxfarmersmarket.com. Inside Jax Farmers Market. Local,

regional, international produce. Breakfast, sandwiches. $ B L D M-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 12001 Lem Turner Rd., 764-9999. SEE ORANGE PARK. UPTOWN KITCHEN & BAR, 1303 Main St. N., 355-0734, uptownmarketjax.com. Bite Club certified. Fresh fare, innovative menus, farm-to-table selections, daily specials. $$ BW TO B L Daily

CHEFFED-UP

Appreciating the FINE ART displayed at farmers markets

CHEFFED-UP

MASTERS

OF THEIR CRAFT A CHEF IS NOT AN ARTIST, BUT A craftsman. This of course applies to both male and female chefs. Do not call us craftspeople—this PC expression implies we are mindlessly weaving baskets in some socialist utopia. We as craftsmen are always hyper-focused on the project at hand. You could even call us artisans. An artisan is by definition a person who is skilled at a trade or craft, one usually done by hand in a traditional manner. Sounds like a chef to me. A true artisan not only takes an immense amount of pride in what he produces, but can often wax eloquently on the process itself. This is one of the reasons why farmers markets are so enjoyable. Though not all farmers are artisans, I have found that the more specialized a farmer is, the more passionate he is about his product, making them the artisans of their industry. Our Fernandina Beach Market Place displays many proofs of this theory. Many stands sell produce and offer a large variety of items year ’round. The downside? They’re co-ops and thus are not necessarily selling what they grow themselves. That doesn’t stop me from buying these items, of course, but it’s the stuff they grow themselves that really keeps things exciting. Take the eggs I buy from one farm. The farmer raises the chickens herself and, boy, is she proud of the eggs. When I asked her one Saturday why there weren’t any green eggs that day, she told me a story of how the chickens who laid those green eggs must have gone on strike. No one could doubt that these chickens and their eggs are her pride and joy. I think she would have talked of these birds for hours if we’d had time. At another produce stand, the farmers personally grow all the offerings. This makes them the only truly seasonal farm at the market. One of their many unique offerings is fresh garlic. In the early spring, they offer the scapes. As explained to me by the beaming farmer, these are the flowering part of the garlic plant. He explained that you

can slice the stems and use them as if they were scallions, but with a much pronounced garlic flavor. A couple of weeks ago, he was selling the actual garlic bulbs without the scapes. So I bought some and confited them in olive oil. They were the perfect accouterments to Chef Up killer baba ganoush, which I proudly share, one artisan to another.

CHEF BILL’S ROASTED GARLIC BABA GANOUSH Ingredients • 2 medium eggplant, cut in half • length-wise • 1 head roasted garlic • 1/2 cup tahini paste • 2 tbsp. citrus confit (preserved • lemon), diced • 2 tbsp. lemon juice • 1 tsp. Za’atar spice • 1/8 tsp. chipotle powder • 1 oz. olive oil • 1/2 cup chopped herbs • S&P to taste Directions 1. Grill the eggplant flesh side down on • medium low until nearly tender, turn • and finish on the skin side. 2. Scrape the eggplant into a food • processer, squeeze in the garlic, add • tahini and pulse a few times. 3. Add the remaining ingredients and • pulse until nearly smooth. 4. Adjust the seasoning, place in a bowl • and drizzle olive oil over the top, then • sprinkle with additional Za’atar spice. Until we cook again,

Chef Bill Thompson cheffedup@folioweekly.com ____________________________________ Contact Chef Bill Thompson, owner of The Amelia Island Culinary Academy, at cheffedup@folioweekly.com to find inspiration and get you Cheffed Up! JULY 12-18, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25

PETS LOOKIN’ FOR LOVE FOLIO

W E E K LY

FOLIO LIVING DEAR

PET

LOVERS’

GUIDE

DAVI

SIZZLIN’

SCHNAUZERS Davi’s summer GROOMING advice

Dear Davi, The summer heat is totally cramping my style. Can you give the low-down on how to prep dogs for beach season? Maribel the Mountain Dog Maribel, Maintaining a regular grooming routine is not all about looking good, though that’s certainly a motivation. It’s also about keeping a close eye on the condition of your skin, ears and nails, and solving small problems before they become big ones. I have compiled a few tips to help keep you cool, clean and comfortable during the dog days of summer. CLEAN YOUR EARS • Good ear care is especially important in warmer months. Humidity and heat can make your ears a breeding ground for yeast and bacteria. And if you, like me, like to take to dip in the water, you could be at even greater risk for ear infections. Have your human clean your ears and gently swipe the inside with a cotton ball after each swim. TRIM THOSE TOES • Since you will be spending more time romping outside, make sure your nails are properly trimmed. If your nails grow too long, they can force your foot out of position, and the nails can crack or break if they catch on something—that can be painful. Rule of paw: If you hear clicketyclack when you walk, it’s time for a trim. PROTECT YOUR PAWS • Walking on hot, hard surfaces, including sand, can dry your paws, which may lead to cracking. Have your human moisturize your pads daily, especially in hot weather, to help prevent injuries and burns. If you’re unsure if it’s too hot to walk, here’s a quickie test for your human to try

before putting paw to pavement. It’s called the five-second rule: Have your human place her hand against the pavement for five seconds. If it’s too hot for her, it’s too hot for you. The best times in summer for long walks and exercise are in the early morning and just before sunset, when it’s still light outside. That’s also when more mosquitoes are active—ask your vet about protection from those little suckers. DON’T SHAVE • It may be tempting to shave all that thick hair in the summer, but don’t do it. Dogs use their coats as protection from sunburn and insulation against the heat. Eliminating this natural cooling system can lead to discomfort and overheating—not to mention the indignity of a bad haircut. And don’t forget to bathe—a dirty dog is a stinky dog. Washing regularly will ensure coat and skin are clean and free of dirt, grime and allergens. KEEP BRUSHING • Brushing a dog’s hair is the best way to keep skin and coat healthy, and help prevent skin or pest problems from becoming worse. It’s also a good time to check for fleas and ticks, cuts and lumps, and excessively dry skin. Not only does brushing keep your coat beautiful, it’s important for your overall health. Word to Humans: Grooming is not just a vanity thing. Besides keeping your dog healthy and comfortable, the time you spend combing and cleaning your dog will strengthen his or her coat, and surely strengthen the bond you share. Davi mail@folioweekly.com ____________________________________ Davi still feels robbed for not winning Best Groomed at his obedience school.

PET TIP: PET TIP CORRECTION IN THE JUNE 28 PET TIP, WE OFFERED SOME TONGUE-IN-CHEEK information about websites that certify service dogs. After an alert reader pointed out that many such websites are scams, we realized that it wasn’t entirely clear that the tip was meant to be satirical. Our bad. To be clear, websites do not offer legitimate certification for service animals. And business owners are only required to allow service dogs to accompany people into their business who have a legitimate disability that qualifi es under the Americans with Disabilities Act, subject to some common-sense restrictions. People who qualify must also carry written proof of their disability. 26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 12-18, 2017

PET EVENTS KATZ 4 KEEPS ADOPTION DAYS • Adoption days are held 11 a.m.-3 p.m. July 15 and 16, and every Sat. and Sun. at 935B A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach, 834-3223, katz4keeps.org. GREETING PEOPLE POLITELY WORKSHOP • This workshop, 7:30-8:30 p.m. July 13 at Petco, 11111 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 254-5715, petco.com, provides a basic introduction to manage jumping up issues. Learn the first steps to the methodology and how to apply them to teach your dog preferred behaviors. PET STYLISTS • Meet the folks who keep calm and clip on, 11 a.m.-1 p.m. July 15 at PetSmart, 356 Monument Rd., Regency, 724-4600, petsmart.com.

ADOPTABLES

NUGGET

OVERSET

____________________________________________ To list an event, send the name, time, date, location (complete street address, city), admission price, contact number/website to print, to mdryden@folioweekly.com

VALUABLE FELINE FRIEND • I am Nugget, as in pure gold. I’m a 4-year-old dapper gentleman ready to escort you home. I have radiant emerald eyes and a bright pink nose. Just like your favorite precious metal, I’m guaranteed to be your favorite kitty. Check me out at jaxhumane.org/adopt and see what it’s like to come home to a sweet kitty … priceless! ZOOFARI OUTREACH • Young scientists will get a close-up view of a selection of live animals and animal artifacts from the Jacksonville Zoo, 10:30 a.m. July 12 at Eastside Branch Library, 1390 Harrison St., 630-5466, jaxpubliclibrary.org. Kids and adults will have a blast learning about the animal’s biology and habitats. Space is limited. Admission tickets will be available for the children an hour before the program. For children ages 5-12. Zoofari Outreach is also held 3-4 p.m. July 13 at South Mandarin Branch Library, 12125 San Jose Blvd., 288-6385. SMALL DOG, BIG LOVE • Here’s a chance to win a $50 shopping spree. Enter from noon-1 p.m. July 15; the winner is drawn at 1 p.m. at PetSmart, 356 Monument Rd., Regency, 724-4600; 8801 Southside Blvd., Ste. 3, 5198878. For official rules, visit ptsmrt.co/smalldogspree. Plus, take home samples, giveaways and more.

ADOPTABLES

ALFRED

YOU RANG? • Hello, friends! My name is Alfred and I love to smile. Do you need an escort to a fancy event? I’m always wearing my tux! I’d love to make your day and give my smile to you. Come see me at 8464 Beach Blvd. on the Southside, open seven days a week for adoptions! READ WITH SUNSHINE • Children practice their reading skills, reading to a real, live Golden Retriever, 2:30-3:30 p.m. July 12 at Beaches Branch Library, 600 Third St., Neptune Beach, 241-1141, jaxpubliclibrary.org. MEET THE CRITTERS • Bring the family and meet critters with scales, tails and other traits during the free event to explore the world of pets. 1-3 p.m. July 15 at Petco, 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy., Jax Beach, 273-0964, petco.com. EPIC ANIMAL CAMP • The half-day camp for kids 7-12 years old is held 9 a.m.-1 p.m. July 24-28 at Southside Baptist Church, 1435 Atlantic Blvd., San Marco, 274-1177, epicanimals.org. Camp fee is $35. Arts & crafts, painting pet portraits, games and visits from real EPIC animals teach how to understand, interact with, and care for pets and other animals. A daily snack is provided. Sponsored by Friends of Jacksonville Animals and EPIC Outreach. SUMMER NIGHTS AT JDC! • Jacksonville Dog Café offers free coffee, adoptable dogs, $5 dinner and live music 5-8 p.m. every Sat. at 5535 Roosevelt Blvd., Westside, 610-0746, jaxdogcafe.com. Proceeds benefit the nonprofit’s programs. CRATE TRAINING WORKSHOP • A 60-minute workshop provides a basic lesson on how to introduce your dog to a crate, 4-5 p.m. July 15 at Petco, 11111 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 254-5715, petco.com. PET ADOPTION • 60+ cats and kittens, 40+ dogs and puppies need homes; Wags & Whiskers Pet Rescue, 1967 Old Moultrie Rd., St. Augustine, 797-1913, 797-6039, petrescue. org. All are spayed/neutered and up-to-date on shots.

JULY 12-18, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27

FREEWILL ASTROLOGY

DALE RATERMANN’s Folio Weekly Crossword presented by

RALPH WALDO EMERSON, PRESS 2, CACTUS FLOWERS & THE BIG MUDDY

Serving Excellence Since 1928 Member American Gem Society

San Marco 2044 San Marco Blvd. 398-9741

Ponte Vedra

THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA

330 A1A North 280-1202

Avondale 3617 St. Johns Ave. 388-5406

FOLIO WEEKLY CROSSWORD 1

18 20

ACROSS

51 Putnam County sheriff 55 EverBank offering 58 Oft-smelled rodent 59 ___ Lingus 60 St. Johns County sheriff 64 Sparrow player 68 Ano opener 69 Vogue rival 70 Bone, in Bologna 71 WJXT, for example 72 Marsh grass 73 WJAX’s maritime drama

DOWN 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 10 11 12 13 19

Personal ad abbr. Classic card game “Big Blue” co. Has a bite Etz Chaim Synagogue leader Well-known jabber Disney souvenir Bakery buy Crest rival Commit perjury in Duval County Court Woofer brand Norma and Charlotte Nude cousin NY destination from JAX

28 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JULY 12-18, 2017

21 Spinning 24 Little Women woman 25 Slick, in a way 26 Dojo activity 27 Use a hammock 28 Daytona 500 polesitter 29 Web page 33 Early J-Lo role 34 Sans contract 37 WJCT’s Science Guy 38 Fab Four’s fifth? 39 Show stopper 41 TV’s Mrs. Peel 42 Betwixt 46 Joint production

48 Barbara, to Jeb 50 First NASCAR driver to host Saturday Night Live 52 Hotness 53 UF profs’ aides 54 Dog-___ 55 Brain wave 56 Hindu royal 57 Declare 61 Wrath 62 Spanish “rah” 63 Fionn MacCool’s quaff 65 Corner key 66 Chi follower 67 Neg. antonym

SOLUTION TO 7.5.17 PUZZLE B R A W Y U L E E E R I I R M U G A S H A R E T R M C U R E O N E D D D T D R A M L A K E E P E E R E S T

L E E K S A R P O E L I G E N U A W O A F

V A P O R

O B A M A

I L L E R

A C N B O U A M S A G R E E

N O T R E

C O H O S

D E M C I A T G Y E R N T W H E D G U M S

I C O N

S O A N D P S L O E B I E N D U Y N C I A T R

beginning, I’d seize your attention with an evocative image my marketing department was sure would give you a visceral thrill. (Like a Photoshopped image of you wearing a crown and holding a scepter.) In the next part, I’d describe wonderful, beautiful things about you. Then I’d tactfully describe an aspect of yours that’s underdeveloped and needs work. I’d say, “Be more strategic in promoting your good ideas. Have a well-crafted master plan to attract the contacts and resources needed to lift your dream to the next level.”

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Other astrologers and fortune-tellers may like scaring the hell out of you, but I don’t. My job is to keep you apprised of how life aims to help, educate and lead you out of suffering. Truth is, if you look hard enough, there are always legitimate reasons to be afraid of most everything. But that’s a stupid way to live, especially since there are always legitimate reasons to be excited about most everything. The weeks ahead are a great time to retrain yourself to make the second approach your default tendency. I’ve rarely seen a better phase to replace chronic anxiety with shrewd hope.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): I advise against snorting cocaine, MDMA, heroin or bath salts. But if you do, don’t lay out lines of powder on a kitchen table or a baby’s diaperchanging counter in a public restroom. Places like those are not exactly sparkly clean, and you could end up propelling contaminants close to your brain. Observe similar care with any activity that involves altering consciousness or changing the way you see the world. Do it in a nurturing location to ensure healthy results. The coming weeks are a great time to expand your mind if you do it in all-natural ways—through talks with interesting people, travels to new places and provocative teachings.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): At least for the short-range future, benign neglect can be an effective game plan. Allow inaction to do the job that can’t be done through strenuous action. Stay put. Be patient, cagey and observant. Seek strength in silence and restraint. Let problems heal through the passage of time. Give yourself permission to watch and wait, to reserve judgment and withhold criticism. Here’s a secret: Forces currently working in the dark and behind the scenes generate the best possible outcome.

31 Quarter-deck 35 Gate River Run, e.g. 39 I-10 hazard on a sunny day 14 Orlando Miracle org. 15 A Waugh 16 Purple shade 17 Apple pie pros 18 Nassau County sheriff 20 TAPS bar bill 22 Beauty preceder 23 Urban Meyer’s sch. 24 Jacksonville sheriff 30 Bitcoin, say 31 Anthem contraction 32 Kind of metrics 35 BMW’s home 36 To Live and Die ___ 38 Lots of times 40 Clay County sheriff 43 Useful 44 “Shake a leg!” 45 Clean air org. 47 Guitar part 48 ___ tai 49 Dancer de Mille

31 36

19 22

ARIES (March 21-April 19): It’s not your birthday, but you need to get presents. The astrological omens agree. In fact, they suggest you should show people this to motivate them to do the right thing and shower you with practical blessings. Why do you need these rewards? One reason: Now’s a pivotal moment in the development of your ability to give what you have to give. If you receive tangible proof your contributions are appreciated, you’ll be able to rise to the next level of your generosity.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): “Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions,” wrote Ralph Waldo Emerson. “All life is an experiment.” Make that your operative strategy in the weeks ahead. According to my astrological analysis, now’s a good time to overthrow habits, rebel against certainties, and cruise through a series of freewheeling escapades to change your mind in 100 ways. Do you love life enough to ask more questions than ever? LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Thank you for contacting the Center for Epicurean Education. If you need advice on how to help your imagination lose its inhibitions, press 1. If you need guidance on how to run wild in the woods or in the streets without losing friends or job, press 2. If you want to learn more about spiritual sex or sensual wisdom, press 3. If you need help initiating a rowdy yet focused search for fresh inspiration, press 4. For details about dancing, flying or dancing-while-flying lessons, press 5. For tips on how to stop making sense, press 6.

R D C E A N

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Cereus cactus grows in the southwestern U.S. deserts. Most of the time it’s scraggly and brittlelooking. But one night of the year, in June or July, it blooms with a fragrant, trumpet-shaped flower. By dawn, the creamy white petals close and start to wither. During that brief celebration, the plant’s main pollinator, the sphinx moth, has to discover the marvelous event and gather the cactus flower’s pollen. This has metaphorical resemblances to a task that will benefit you if done in the days ahead. Be alert for a sudden, spectacular and rare eruption of beauty.

A P M I A P

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): If I had more room here, I’d offer an inspirational Powerpoint presentation just for you. In the

E A S E D U P

E X T R E M E

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In late 1811 and early 1812, parts of the mighty Mississippi River flowed backwards several times. Earthquakes were the cause. Now, more than two centuries later, Sagittarians have a chance— maybe even a mandate—to accomplish a more modest rendition of what nature did back then. Do you dare shift the course of a great, flowing, vital force? Consider it. In my opinion, that great, flowing, vital force could benefit from an adjustment—you have the wisdom and luck to understand and accomplish it. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You’re entering the Uncanny Zone. During a brief journey through this alternate reality, the wind and the dew are your teachers. Animals provide special favors. You may experience true fantasies, like being able to sense people’s thoughts and hear the sound of leaves converting sunlight into nourishment. It’s possible you’ll feel the moon tugging at the waters of your body and glimpse visions of the best possible future. Is any of this of any use? Yes! More than you can imagine. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): This is one of those rare grace periods when you can slip into a smooth groove without worrying that it will degenerate into a repetitive rut. You’ll feel natural and comfortable as you attend to duties, not blank or numb. You’ll be entertained and educated by exacting details, not bored. This will be a great time to lay the gritty foundation for expansive, productive adventures later this year. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “There is a direct correlation between playfulness and intelligence, since the most intelligent animals engage in the greatest amount of playful activities.” So reports the National Geographic. “The reason is simple: Intelligence is the capacity for learning, and to play is to learn.” Make these thoughts the centerpiece of your life in the weeks ahead. You’re in a phase when you have an enhanced capacity to master new tricks. That’s good, because you’re also in a phase when it’s crucial to learn new tricks. The best way to be sure it happens? Play as much as possible. Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

NEWS OF THE WEIRD NEW WORLD ORDER

A leading Chinese orthopedic surgeon continues to believe that “full-body” transplants are the next big thing in medicine, despite worldwide skepticism about both the science and the ethics. The plan for Dr. Ren Xiaoping of Harbin Medical University calls for removing both heads (the deceased donor’s and the live recipient’s), connecting the blood vessels, stabilizing the new neck, and “bath[ing]” spinal-cord nerve endings chemically so they will connect. Critics say it is impossible to “connect” spinal-cord nerves. According to a recent New York Times dispatch, doctors regularly denounce China’s ethical laxities, though Chinese officials term such denunciations “envy” at China’s achievements.

OUR LITIGIOUS WAYS

The ex-boyfriend of Nina Zgurskaya filed a lawsuit in Siberia after she broke up with him for his reluctance to “pop the question” after a two-year courtship. The man, not named in a recent story sent from Moscow, demanded compensation for his dating expenses. The trial court ruled against him, but he is appealing.

THE PASSING PARADE

Quixotic Malaysian designer Moto Guo made a splash at Milan’s fashion week last June when he sent model after model to slink along the runway, their faces marked with blotches that suggested they had acne or other skin conditions. One reporter was apparently convinced, concluding, “Each man and woman on the runway looked miserable.”

OUT OF CONTROL

Nelson Hidalgo, 47, was arrested in New York City recently, charged with criminal negligence and other crimes for parking his van near Citi Field during a Mets game and drawing players’ complaints when he ramped up the van’s 80-speaker sound system. “I know it’s illegal, but it’s the weekend,” said Hidalgo. “I usually [just] get a ticket.”

I’LL MISS THE HISSING AT NIGHT

Trina Hibberd of Mission Beach, Australia, finally showed concern about the python

living inside her walls, about which she has known for 15 years but (perhaps “Australian-ly”) had chosen to ignore. It wandered out—a 15-foot-long, 90pound Scrub Python she calls “Monty.” “All hell broke loose,” a neighbor said later, as snake-handlers took Monty to a more appropriate habitat.

Folio Weekly helps you connect with the paramour of your dreams. Go to folioweekly.com/i-saw-u.html, fill out the FREE form correctly (40 words or fewer, dammit) by 5 p.m. Friday (for the next Wednesday’s FW) – next stop: Bliss!

WEIRD SCIENCE

Medical Daily, in a review of recent cases, noted progress in dealing with Cotard’s syndrome—a disorder that leads patients to believe they have no blood or vital body parts—or feeling as if they are dead (or may as well be). Studies show one in about 200 psychiatric patients exhibit the symptoms, and one doctor, describing a brain scan of his patient, said brain activity resembled that of a person in a coma or under anesthesia. Cotard’s, also known as walking corpse syndrome, leads patients to thus avoid eating or bathing (asking themselves, why bother?).

A NOTW CLASSIC (AUGUST 2012)

When the assistant manager arrived early on June 26, 2012, to open the Rent-A-Center in Brockton, Massachusetts, he encountered a man on the ground whose head was stuck underneath the heavy metal loading-bay door (obviously as the result of a failed burglary attempt during the night). “Hang tight!” the manager consoled the trapped man. “The police are on their way.” Manuel Fernandes, 53, was arrested.

THE THANKLESS JOB OF THE CAT RESEARCHER

A team of researchers is following about 30 tabbies, calicos and others, recording their moves and sounds, to somehow learn whether housecats have dialects in their meows and alter other patterns of stress and intonation when they “speak” to other cats or to humans. In explaining the project, linguist Robert Eklund, of Sweden’s Linkoping University, personally sounded out “a pretty wide range of meows to illustrate his points,” wrote a New York magazine interviewer recently. Eklund is already an expert on feline purring (Purring.org)—although, from a distance, as he confesses to being allergic to cats. WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com

Parents’ Day is July 23! And you don’t know a single solitary soul with whom you can become a parent. Folio Weekly’s editorial staff is getting mighty weary of trying to hook you up with a true love – you’re on your own this week. So, again, read these messages or send yours in! You know the drill: Go to folioweekly.com/i-saw-u.html and do this: One: Write a five-word headline so the person recognizes the moment y’all shared. Two: Describe the person, like, “You: Solo, with two ice cream cones, one dripping all over your hand clear down to your elbow.” Three: Describe yourself, like, “Me: Obviously in need of rocky road ice cream.” Four: Describe the moment, like, “ISU unable to see that I could take your pain away and capture your heart.” Five: Meet, fall in love, reserve a malt shop.* No names, emails, websites, etc. And fer chrissake, it’s 40 words or fewer. Get a love life with Folio Weekly ISUs! LONG DISTANCE LOVE You: Squirrel, picked me up at airport with flowers. Me: Rooster, bursting with joy inside. We hugged; our love story began. Will you hold my hand until the end of our days? When: July 12, 2016. Where: JIA. #1661-0712 SELF CHECKOUT WALMART FRUIT COVE You: Wearing cute little sundress, picking up a few things for the family and dog. Me: Trying to make small talk but not so much you’d think I’m flirting in the grocery store. When: June 23. Where: Fruit Cove Walmart. #1660-0712

STROLLING, HUMMING BLONDE U: Very-welldressed blonde, glasses, long white skirt, hair in garland; went a favorite place, Kookaburra, late Wed. afternoon. Me: Tall, dark eyes & hair, green fishing shirt, left T-Mobile, got in blue Altima. Let’s grab coffee! When: June 7. Where: Kookaburra, U.S. 1 S., St. Augustine. #1652-0614 I SAW U READING I SAW U! I asked you if the guy you were with was your boyfriend. You said, “No. Just a friend.” Let’s go grab some craft brew! When: April 26. Where: Aardwolf San Marco. #1651-0510

SPACE GALLERY ARTIST ISU at Dos Gatos on a Monday night. Bought you drinks; you showed me your studio. You wore a little black printed dress; I wore a blank shirt. We went on the roof. Let’s hang again? When: June 26. Where: Dos Gatos. #1659-0705

HUGGED TWICE One year ago; never forget. Best decision ever. Always love everything about you; hot body by mine. Let’s take it to the tube top the rest of our lives. Weally sewious. You ask, I’d say yes. Always a pleasure Mr. ... When: May 2016. Where: 5 Points. #1650-0503

YOU PAINT MY WORLD BEAUTIFUL You: Tall, handsome, stark blue eyes, witty sense of humor. Me: Smiling green-eyed brunette whose heart skips a beat every time you look my way. ISU at hardware store; been crazy for you ever since. When: February 2014. Where: Neptune Beach. #1658-0628

BARTENDER WANNABE TEACHER You wanted to impact young minds as a teacher. I suggested fixing shattered wrists as a doctor. On second thought, how about making a huge impact as my date? I was the only guy at brunch bar. When: March 25. Where: Best Brunch, I-295 & 9A. #1649-0405

CAR WASH SUPER-CUTIE You: Sweet, polite girl cleaning grey Honda Civic. Sharing vacuum not romantic; can’t get u off my mind. Me: Average sweaty guy, blue Infinity g37. Too sweaty, shy to flirt; we felt something. Meet for coffee, dinner? When: June 10. Where: Mayport Rd. Car Wash. #1656-0621 HAKUBA21, BRENNA, MARROW SHEWOLF Five years since we saw each other. You had your own style. Loved feathers in your hair. We were close once; you slipped away. Love to see your face, hold your hand once more. Pretty please. When: 2011. Where: Menendez High School, St. Augustine. #1655-0621 THE COMMODORES GREAT CLOSING ACT You: There with daughter; live in PVB, go to town occasionally. We chatted, danced, laughed; didn’t exchange info. I’m named after a state; live in historic district. The ditch isn’t an issue. Your turn. When: May 28. Where: Jax Jazz Fest. #1654-0614 DOOR GUY CALLED YOU UGLY!? Murder Junkies: second most interesting on Thursday. First: Vivacious artist of hair and canvas; enthralling beauty a precursor to her intriguing character. Blessed with two hugs, but no name. Trying to earn that. When: June 8. Where: Nighthawks. #1653-0614

“IRISH LASS” USHER You: blonde, blue-eyed, Kelly green dress. Me: tall, shy, warm-up band member. On rehearsal break, we SU two in balcony, raced up. We shared a bottle of fake Crown (I lied). I’ll find you, love you forever. When: Unsure. Where: Florida Theatre. #1648-0322 ENC-1102 LOVE You: German nose; matched mine. Brown eyes entranced me. Me: Awkward, yellow-haired female. Someone took your seat; you sat beside me. We watched “The Room.” Best time I ever had. May I hold your hand forever? When: March 2015. Where: FSCJ. #1647-0315 I HELD THE DOOR You: Beautiful blonde , sundress, exiting as I entered. Me: Beard, tie; stopped, stared. We locked eyes; you were going out to your Charger. I’d like to hold the door for you again in the future. When: Feb. 27. Where: Firehouse. #1646-0315 SEXY ITALIAN IN PRIMELENDING SHIRT You were funny (sarcastic), had sexy voice, and you were wearing all black. Hands down the most amazing man I’ve ever met. I love you always. When: Feb. 25. Where: Downtown. #1645-0301 BROWN HAIR, SITTING BEHIND ME You: Curly brown hair. Shared some laughs and a DUI. Me: Floral dress, great jokes. Thought we shared a moment; you were called back too soon. Hope to see you March 7th, same spot, 4:15 p.m. When: Feb. 2. Where: Ocean Street. #1644-0208

*or any other appropriate site at which folks can engage in a civil union or marriage or whatever … JULY 12-18, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 29

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FOLIO VOICES : BACKPAGE EDITORIAL

ON FEB. 29, 2009, THE “BEST OF THE ’80S” station 102.9 The Point changed its format to X1029, Jacksonville’s New Rock Alternative. With the celebrated new format, the station began an assault on then-popular station WPLA, Planet Radio 107.3 FM. Between songs, X1029 would play adverts boasting comparisons between the stations, mainly how many commercials each played. (“Last hour Planet Radio played 20 commercials. The new X1029 played three,” for example.) The differences were hard to miss, even without pointing them out so bluntly. X1029 would also poke at Planet Radio’s use of older bands and songs, such as Nirvana, while X1029 brought all new music to the airwaves of Jacksonville. It was a beautiful time because we were finally getting the kind of music we deserved. It didn’t take long for Planet Radio to give up the fight and switch formats to classic rock. X1029 emerged as the victor and all was well. We were introduced to a variety of new songs and bands. Even with the little time that’s passed since then, the way we listen to music has evolved dramatically. We barely need radio stations with the incorporation of Bluetooth in new-model cars, and the fact everyone has a smartphone with access to music apps like Spotify and Pandora where listeners can, more or less, choose the music they want to hear. With such options, you’d think a radio station like X1029 would be fighting with the same vigor they brought to the table when they were determined to bring down Planet Radio. Despite this, they’ve become what they sought to replace. Not only do they now play commercials much more frequently than they did back when they could boast two to five spots an hour, they’ve regressed into playing fewer new and emerging songs and lowered themselves into the routine of playing yesterday’s favorites. For the sake of specifics, I’ll use the 5 o’clock hour on Friday, June 30 as an example. Not everyone in the workforce gets to listen to music, much less the radio, during the workday. During the 5 o’clock hour, people head home after a day of presumably musicless despair. They turn to the radio because— who knows?—maybe they want someone else to decide what they should listen to rather than selecting something for themselves on their smartphone. Sometimes listeners use this opportunity to discover music they may not have found otherwise. Part of what allows music stations to survive likely stems from this effort. I’ll use their website’s Last Song Played list as a reference to X1029’s music selection for the time of day you’re most likely going to hear what they’ve got to offer.

LEADING-EDGE

FAKERS Jacksonville’s NEW ROCK ALTERNATIVE station forgets its roots

At 5 o’clock on the dot, they played Sublime’s “Doin’ Time” from their 1997 selftitled album. Then they followed it with: Bleachers, “Don’t Take the Money” (2017) Fall Out Boy, “Light ’Em Up” (2013) Portugal, The Man, “Feel It Still” (2017) Switchfoot, “Meant to Live” (2003) Blink 182, “Bored to Death” (2017) Blind Melon, “No Rain” (1992!) Paramore, “Hard Times” (2017) Imagine Dragons, “Demons” (2012) Judah and the Lion, “Take It All Back” (2017) Awolnation, “Sail” (2013) Walk the Moon, “Shut Up and Dance” (2014) The Offspring, “The Kids Aren’t Alright” (1998) Weezer, “Island in the Sun” (2001) Vance Joy, “Riptide” (2013) Five out of 15 songs are from the last two years. Five of the songs are more than 10 years old. This is one of the better examples. On June 28, for example, in the 7 o’clock hour, we heard Red Hot Chili Pepper’s “Californication” (’99) at 7:21 according to the website and “Under the Bridge” (’92) just 23 minutes later. I recently asked the station via its Facebook page why it was still playing songs from Gorillaz’s 2001 debut album (Clint Eastwood, a song you’ll hear played a few times throughout the day) when the band has just released a new album, Humanz. The answer? The new album hasn’t been as big a hit as Clint Eastwood. Never mind that their self-titled debut has a Metascore of 71 and Humanz has a 77 (metacritic.com/music/gorillaz), isn’t it up to the radio stations to choose hits? If Humanz has been moderately well reviewed and hasn’t been played enough, it’s fair to suggest the stations in charge of bringing new music to light haven’t been doing their job.

Back to Friday’s 5 o’clock playlist. You have 15 songs. The average radio song is three minutes. I won’t get into every song and add up how long each one is. Nobody has time for that. So we’ll say three minutes. That’s 45 minutes of music, leaving 15 minutes for commercials and adverts like “jobs you shouldn’t do stoned” and “dead celebrity tweets,” short excerpts of comedy (for lack of a better word) that serve no purpose other than to remind us what kinds of children are running this operation. The average radio station commercial is 30 seconds, which means, on average, X1029 is playing 30 commercials every hour. Quite a long way to fall from no more than five. X1029 doesn’t keep a backlog of songs played over the years, at least not ones available to the public, so there’s no way to compare what exactly they were playing back in 2009 when they won our hearts with a definitive anti-Planet Radio standard. I do recall always hearing new songs, and rarely any of them came on more than twice a day. Meanwhile, as of this writing, Harvey Danger’s “Flagpole Sitta” (1997) was played 25 times in the last 48 hours, according to the Last Songs Played search engine. The question you may be asking is, “Why does it matter? Let ’em play whatever they want.” It’s true they can play whatever they want, but it’s important to remember they earned their place as the modern rock station under the guise they’d be different. And now that there’s no competition, they’ve lost the fury and passion for exciting new music that got them here in the first place. X1029 does have a special hour-long slot every weeknight at 9 p.m. dedicated specifically to new music. That’s a great step in the right direction, and opens our ears to some actual new music. Thanks for the one-hour out of your day, guys. But there are occasional problems with that timeslot, too; last Friday night, they couldn’t even make it to 10 o’clock before playing 311’s “Long Song” from 2004. One of the more hilarious offenses that adds to this is when they beg you to download their app so you can listen from anywhere, as though someone with access to music apps would choose to listen to 30 commercials and a couple of songs every hour. Get Pandora—at least you’ll have the option to skip a song you don’t like. You’ll never go back to your X again. Darby Nickless mail@folioweekly.com _____________________________________ Nickless is a freelance copywriter based on Amelia Island. Having heard enough “new rock,” he now has a Spotify Premium Membership.

JULY 12-18, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 31