08/16/17 Wake Up. RACE. Repeat.

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2 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 16-22, 2017


THIS WEEK // 8.16-8.22.17 // VOL. 30 ISSUE 20 COVER STORY

WAKE UP. RACE. [ 12 ]

REPEAT. Nineteen-year-old MAKAYLA TYRRELL tears up the track.

STORY BY Gabrielle Garay PHOTOS BY Madison Gross

FEATURED FE EATURED ARTICLES

SACRIFICES NOT WASTED [9] BY TIM GILMORE Lyse Medina and HAITIAN JACKSONVILLE

THE COUNCIL STRIKES BACK

[8]

BY A.G. GANCARSKI Will THE FORCE be with them?

COLUMNS + CALENDARS MAIL/B&B FROM THE EDITOR OUR PICKS FIGHTIN’ WORDS NEWS MUSIC

4 5 6 8 10 16

FILM 20 ARTS / ARTS LISTING 24 / 25 LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR 27 DINING 30 BITE-SIZED 31 PINT-SIZED 32

EMPEROR DONATELLO [39] TRUMPOLINI’S 1456 SPEECH ... BY JOHNNY MASIULEWICZ “I’m proud to be a SCROLL WRITER’S DAUGHTER”–Lucretia Lynnetti

CHEFFED-UP PETS X-WORD / ASTROLOGY WEIRD / I SAW U CLASSIFIEDS BACKPAGE

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THE MAIL CAN YOU HEAR THE PIRATES SCREAM?

RE: “Amelia Island Marina Soars,” Dave Scott, Aug. 2 EVEN THOUGH I NO LONGER LIVE ON THE island, I still frequent it at least once a month. The airport has always been a topic of financial conversation much as the City Golf Course, which also got a facelift at the expense of a lot of trees. The marina is what our town is known for and was obviously built as the port of entry in Old Towne for many founding businessmen and of course pirates! Hopefully, somebody listens to the screams of the boating community. The marina has been an eyesore for way too long and is most definitely seen by many more travelers than the airport. Bill Hughes via web

WHO LOVES THE BLUE COLLAR MORE?

RE: Roderick T. Beaman’s Letter to the Editor, Aug. 2 YOU SAY LIBERALS HAVE CONTEMPT FOR THE working person. Nonsense. Think now. Who was it that provided the working person with relief in his/her old age in terms of social security? Who provided a fair wage and the right to unionize (Wagner Act 1935)? Who respected the working person with financial help for medical insurance as they reached senior years (Medicare)? We liberals are the ones who demonstrated our care and concern for the average working person while the well-tailored conservatives created the tax basis for the one percent. Bernard Mazie via email

THE NATURAL LAW OF MOVIES

RE: “The Cradle Will Rock,” Pat McLeod, June 14 GROWING UP IN THE ’30S, I ALWAYS LIKED fairytales and read them in books, so I guess it was a natural progression to motion pictures and I became a big fan of movies. However, about the article, I just know that the good Cardinal was right; movies influence behavior. There must be other people who believe this to be true. I can remember a time when there was no such thing as LGBTQ. Maybe the deviants were already there, maybe they were always there, but I don’t think so. As the Cardinal pointed out, there are natural laws and of course there are society’s manmade laws. To me, natural laws (on the origin of species) come first and always will. There is no

conflict here between evolution and creationism. Getting back to the movie Baby Doll and wondering “What the hell was all the fuss about?” AND YES, I did see the movie all the way through. On the very next page of that issue, there’s another article, “Voices Carry,” about the LGBTQ community. I personally know and appreciate a person whom I know to be gay, or is he bisexual? I don’t know. He didn’t deserve what happened to him in childhood, nobody does, but it happens. It almost happened to me. Little children are naturally curious (another natural law, if you will). Blaming society won’t work. The evolution of human beings is going to pull in the opposite direction. LGBTQ behavior really is a deviance of the natural law. That movie was so crass because it was about children. S. Jackson via U.S.P.S.

BEDFELLAS (BUT JUST ON WEEKENDS)

RE: “Local Paper: Mayor Doing Everything Right,” Claire Goforth, July 26 I, MYSELF, CONSUME MUCH NEWS FROM AROUND the country and state; hell, I still check out the Village Voice, but mostly mainstream like New York Times, Chicago Tribune, Wall Street Journal, Miami Herald and the T-U. They all show some kind of bias, just like Folio Weekly, which leans left but not all the time. I try to fact-check many headlines, and it is the headline that captures my attention, like many readers. Does the media capture our imagination and impose its beliefs on the readers with these headlines, yes, with big bold letters, extreme pictures, comedy and, of course, sex–just to sell newspapers. I don’t consider the FW a liberal rag, as I used to tell Jeffrey Billman, it’s a free print paper with a different local point of view. Now for the mayor. Lenny Curry and the T-U are in bed together, maybe just for the weekends for now, but time will tell. That pension plan deal for fire and police was a real good ol’ boy scam; how can a fireman or policeman or woman retire a millionaire? What’s up with that? I call it the shoebox effect–shoeboxes full of cash. Mike Bodin via email

LEND YOUR VOICE If you’d like to respond to something you read in the pages of Folio Weekly, please send an email (with your name, address, and phone number for verification purposes only) to mail@folioweekly.com, visit us at folioweekly.com, or follow us on Twitter or Facebook (@folioweekly) and join the conversation.

BRICKBATS + BOUQUETS BOUQUETS TO FAITH IN PUBLIC LIFE In these tense times, it may be more important than ever to seek peaceful resolutions to conflicts. On Aug. 15, Faith in Public Life hosted “Building Bridges to Protect Religious Minorities Convening” at Jacksonville Jewish Center in partnership with Atlantic Institute of Jacksonville and other groups. The free event featured a series of speakers of various religious backgrounds offering guidance on how to counter speech that incites violence, and how to promote understanding and acceptance and dispel intolerance. We need more of this! BRICKBATS TO FLDOE AND DCPS On Friday, Aug. 4, 35 Duval County teachers got an unexpected surprise: They would not begin work on Monday as expected. Some were reassigned to other schools; others were put on a waiting list. The district blames the Florida Department of Education for informing them late in the game that the low-scoring teachers had to be removed from the low-performing schools, or risk losing funding, according to the Florida Times-Union. The teachers, some still in limbo, are left to wonder why the heck it took so lonog for Duval County Public Schools to let them know. BOUQUETS TO ST. JOHNS SOLAR CO-OP Proving that St. Augustine isn’t your momma’s Ancient City, residents, businesses and organizations have created Northeast Florida’s first solar co-op with the goal of reducing reliance on fossil fuels. The co-op plans to leverage its numbers for a discount on solar panels, thus making it cheaper and easier for members to install solar panels. (Learn more at flsun.org/ st-johns.) That’s community at its finest. DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? HOW ABOUT A BRICKBAT? Send submissions to mail@folioweekly.com; 50 word maximum, concerning a person, place, or topic of local interest. 4 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 16-22, 2017


FROM THE EDITOR shows of unity and love that were nothing “THERE IS NO ROOM FOR VIOLENCE IN A if not sublime. In our own Memorial Park civilized society.” in Riverside, a candlelit vigil brought tears; Such statements make a nice quote after in Amelia Island’s Main Beach Park, people a tragedy. Slap it on a photo of a pacifist similarly gathered to mourn and show martyr—doesn’t really matter who—and support. As twisted as it may be, reprehensible you’re in the social media sweet spot. acts often inspire our greatest moments. But it’s not something people actually believe without exception. ON MONDAY, JACKSONVILLE Although we preach City Council President nonviolence and exalt Anna Lopez-Brosche peaceful resistance, we don’t declared her intent to completely buy in, for ours is propose legislation to a violent species and we are a remove all the Confederate violent society. Consider that memorials, markers and we authorize soldiers, the Sometimes terrible acts monuments from public state, police officers, prison guards and civilians to kill in INSPIRE GREATNESS property in Duval County. In a statement, she said certain circumstances—or that the Aug. 12 tragedy in that the same are privileged Charlottesville was in part her inspiration. to use nonlethal violence when it is It was a bold, courageous move, “justified”—or the continued popularity long overdue, that has the potential to of violent past times such as contact symbolically unite us as one people. It sports, game hunting and corporal could also lead to violence, even death, punishment. just as happened in Charlottesville. That Based on such evidence, the civilized doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do it. society to which we strive seems All over the country and unattainable. And that may be true; right here at home, there are utopia may never come. Viciousness people who, angered by being and brutality may just be integral to marginalized by the wealthy and the human condition. watching the American Dream On the other hand, considering wither even as they tried to grasp the thousands of years of recorded it in their hands, are embracing history, it really was quite recent that bigotry and hate as an outlet for public executions were fun for the their simmering malcontent. It whole family, when we tortured is this cauldron from which spills people to death to adjudicate guilt a 20-year-old behind the wheel of or innocence, when quartering was a a weaponized Dodge, a 21-year-old thing … and it had nothing to do with murdering churchgoers in a hail of making change, at least not the shiny bullets, a closeted gay man killing 49 metal kind. Today we consider such acts innocents on a Saturday night, a Navyso appalling that one could say there is veteran-turned-KKK-Grand-Dragon no room for them in civilized society. If to toss hateful fliers in front of homes, that’s not progress, what is? synagogues and parks. Thing is, progress is not the It’s unlikely, but at least possible, straight line we’d prefer; in the best that removing Confederate memorials circumstances, it’s a perversion of a from Duval County and relocating Paula Abdul song: one step forward, them to museums or other educational two steps back, three steps forward, facilities, as is Brosche’s intent, will one step back. In the worst instance, incite such individuals to commit a nation backslides into civil war, terrible acts. It would be easier to just anarchy, chaos, a brutal dictatorship. ignore the statues and go on with our In which direction is America lives. But symbols matter, and these headed? You don’t need to read the studies or follow the news 24/7 to symbols are constantly reminding know intuitively that violence, that us of a bitter, shameful part of our hallmark of the uncivilized society, history. They also exalt that which is on the rise. There’s an escalation should never be celebrated: slavery. of anger, a sense of rage twitching Not so long ago, just last week beneath the surface, itching to in fact, there was little, if any, breach the thin veneer and momentum to finally scrub burst out into the world. our city of these That’s precisely what monuments. Perhaps happened again on Aug. in an ideal world, it 12 in Charlottesville, wouldn’t take the death of Virginia, when a car an innocent young woman smashed into a crowd for our city to finally pull counter-protesting white down the vestiges of a hateful legacy. But ours is supremacists rallying not a utopic society—it’s against removing a statue of just barely civilized. Confederate General Robert That doesn’t mean we E. Lee. A woman, 32-yearcan’t try. old Heather Heyer, was Claire Goforth killed; 19 others were claire@folioweekly.com injured. @ClaireNJax As terrible as the events in Virginia were, the aftermath has seen people come together in

JUSTIFYING THE

MEANS

AUGUST 16-22, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5


MOONWALK WITH ME

SAT

19

WHO’S BAD? THE ULTIMATE MICHAEL JACKSON EXPERIENCE

Who’s Bad is indeed the question. Now we know from court records and Dr. Conrad Murray’s own busy hands that MJ was really bad. But salacious snark aside, the King of Pop left a musical legacy that’s near-impossible to surpass. (They don’t build child-superstars like they used to.) So if you long to put your own dancin’ shoes on (penny loafers, if you please), you’ll be in rich company with this kingly tribute band. 8 p.m. Saturday, Aug. 19, The Florida Theatre, Downtown, $39-$50, floridatheatre.com.

OUR PICKS WED

16

DREAM OF THIS MARCUS PRINTUP QUINTET AT THE PARLOUR If you’ve ever lamented the passing of the Jazz Age, then get thee with all haste to The Parlour, where renowned jazz trumpet player Printup (pictured; a member of Jazz at Lincoln Center Orchestra) and his quintet– featuring local drummer Ben Adkins–swing hard and sometimes get a little funky, too. He and his wife, acclaimed harpist Riza Printup, are here in partnership with Riverside Fine Arts Association’s Project Listen, presenting Riza’s educational program I Have a Song Inside My Heart to several area elementary schools. 8-11:59 p.m. Saturday, Aug. 19, The Parlour (adjacent to Grape & Grain), San Marco, free, 396-4456.

TWO OF A KIND HOLLY AND HEATHER BLANTON

These twin sisters rarely display their work together; this time, though, in addition to showing together, they’ve collaborated on several pieces. Their paintings depict a world of water, activity and dreamy abstracts conjuring the sky. Their works display through September at Hobnob Gallery Space, Brooklyn, 699-7879, hobnobwithus.com.

WED

16

FALCONDIXIEAMAZING SWIM CLUB

STARRING MORGAN FAIRCHILD

Though Fairchild might be best known for her portrayals of pisselegant ’80s mega-b*tches, in this dialogue-driven tale, she serves up more humor than drama. Dixie Swim Club is about the friendship of four former swim team members as they navigate the sometimesglassy, sometimes-choppy waters of life. Wednesday, Aug. 16-Sunday, Sept. 24, Alhambra Theatre & Dining, Southside, 641-1212, $35-$57, alhambrajax.com.

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REASONS TO LEAVE THE HOUSE THIS WEEK

SAT

19

MON

21

TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE (YOU’RE SMART, YOU GET IT) ECLIPSE PARTY AT UNF

Sure, there will be lots of vantage points from which to view this rare solar event (gotta wait seven years for the next one) … but will those other spots have physicists on hand to answer questions and dispel end-of-the-world rumors? We’re guessing not! Wherever you check out the eclipse, don’t forget to wear safe viewing glasses (literally do not stare at the sun). 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Aug. 21, University of North Florida’s Coxwell Amphitheatre, Southside, free; parking $2.


AUGUST 16-22, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7


FOLIO VOICES : FIGHTIN’ WORDS Will THE FORCE be with them?

THE COUNCIL STRIKES

BACK FOR A MATTER OF WEEKS, THE NARRATIVE HAS been quite straightforward in Jacksonville’s City Hall. City Council Finance Chair Garrett Dennis would attempt to get something done. And somewhere along the way, that effort would be undermined by the Curry Administration. We saw it first with Dennis’ bill earlier this summer to move $200,000 to the parks budget for emergency swim lessons. Dennis didn’t have a firm plan for deploying the money and Parks said they didn’t have plans to use it immediately, as there are only so many lifeguards in the city, and so that bill got scuttled. Bringing up that bill, Dennis said it was exactly the same type of spending that was going for Councilman Bill Gulliford’s opioid treatment pilot program—except a fraction of that $1.5M. However, Gulliford’s program got the appropriation, and Dennis’ got spiked— with Mayor Lenny Curry able to take credit for a bigger program in his new budget. Cynics say that Gulliford’s program got through, in part, because Team Curry wasn’t squawking about it. Curry, of course, has a “hip hop nickname” for Gulliford (“Billy G”), bestowed on the beaches councilman at a recent coffee meeting with council (“because he’s got it going on,” per the mayor.) Meanwhile, the dynamic between Curry and Dennis is more fractious—think Jay-Z and Nas around the time of “Ether,” or Meek Mill and Drake for those of you living in 2017. Mayor Curry has no hip hop nicknames for Councilman Dennis, in part, perhaps, because Dennis keeps stepping to Curry with challenges to battle rap. We saw that frayed dynamic on display last week in council, when Dennis pushed floor amendments to a Curry-backed bill to add more after-school program seats. Curry’s bill, which got through council as it was, added another million dollars. Dennis’ most ambitious floor amendment wanted to add almost $3M, with money coming from, among other places, the city’s $97M operating reserve account. For Curry, that kind of spending is a deal-breaker. On Tuesday in council, after a round of behind-the-scenes lobbying from the administration to kill the amendments, Jacksonville CFO Mike Weinstein told of Dennis talking to Curry about a smaller add. “He said he didn’t support it, but he’d stay out of the debate,” Weinstein noted, before reading a statement from Curry that the proposed Dennis amendments wouldn’t be “prudent” and would send the wrong message to bond ratings agencies; if the bill passed as 8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 16-22, 2017

amended, “the mayor would evaluate it when it lands on his desk.” “The mayor supports the bill as originally filed ... anything more than that he will review when it [hits] his desk,” Weinstein emphasized. And the amendments died like childhood dreams. Curry kept on winning until Thursday, when the Finance Committee took up the proposed budget, and the power dynamic changed. Curry’s proposal to put 100 new police officers on the streets did not sail through. Councilmembers Katrina Brown and Reggie Gaffney were among those who wanted to know why Tyler Landreville, the cop who killed Vernell Bing Jr. to end a chase last year, was back on patrol. And Lori Boyer—generally a Curry ally—had questions about what was to be done with the new hires. Those questions didn’t get great answers from Sheriff Mike Williams, so the decision to add new cops is up in the air. A second point of friction occurred Friday, when the administration’s proposal to fortify the emergency reserve with money from the operating reserve (with an eye to bringing this budget’s emergency reserve number up to 6 percent of the total general fund budget) was rebuffed. Council members, again including Boyer, balked at saving money just to be saving it, even as Weinstein noted bond ratings agencies prefer more robust savings than Jacksonville had proved capable of until now. Lenny Curry hasn’t faced a real political challenge in a while, if ever. The Alvin Brown re-election campaign was more inept than an elephant changing a light bulb. For the last two years, council essentially rubber-stamped Curry proposals, giving little pushback on the budget, board changes or stadium spending. Things have changed now—so much so, apparently, that a third party is running polls in Dennis’ own district to see how the incumbent would do against Warren Jones. The mayor’s office has advantages over a council committee chair. Unlimited opportunity to lobby councilors outside the sunshine being one. Threats in future budgets and political campaigns being another. And, of course, opposition research. Time will tell if Dennis’ rebellion becomes a full-scale insurrection. The Finance Committee reviews the budget again on Thursday and Friday. Get your popcorn ready. And your flak jacket. A.G. Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com @AGGancarski


FOLIO VOICES : E PLURIBUS JAX

SACRIFICES NOT

WASTED Lyse Medina and HAITIAN JACKSONVILLE

BY THE TIME LYSE MEDINA TOLD HER AUDIENCE she’d told herself not to cry, hundreds of listeners had tears in their own eyes. “Like many immigrants in this country,” she said, “my parents made many sacrifices for me to be here and I do not want to waste them.” Many longtime Florida State College at Jacksonville faculty members said it was the best commencement address they’d heard, but Medina wasn’t the keynote speaker. She spoke as a student, graduating with her associate’s degree and Kent Campus Student Government Association president. “I don’t want anyone feeling bad for me,” she told the crowd of several thousand at Veterans Memorial Arena, “because I consider myself lucky. There are a lot of other immigrants out there who either died trying to get to the States in search of a better life, or got deported.” Medina, who plans to attend medical school, moved to Jacksonville from Port-auPrince a decade ago, when she was nine. A citizen for the past four years, she’s deeply involved in Northeast Florida’s Haitian community, which Radio Puissance Inter, 1530 AM, the only local Haitian radio station, estimates at around 40,000 strong. Despite political turmoil and food shortages, Medina remembers Port-au-Prince as “a happy place. There were so many animals around. I played with the chickens and the goats.” She recalls chasing baby goats and then being chased the other way by their mother. At San Jose Elementary on Jacksonville’s Southside, Medina spoke no English, only French, and kids bullied her. It didn’t help that she was tall and that her mother tied big bows and beads in her hair and dressed her in big plaid dresses. All her life, the most common question asked by strangers when they discover she is Haitian is whether she practices voodoo. As her English improved and she shied away from other kids her age, a social worker from Lutheran Social Services, which aids immigrants and refugees, took Medina under her wing. “I never knew her last name,” Medina says. “She was just Miss Diane. She made such a big difference in my life. I wish I could thank her.” By the time Medina turned 14, she’d started having seizures and blacking out, but she and her family weren’t eligible for Medicaid until they attained citizenship a year or so later. In the meantime, her seizures led to the Emergency Room and a growing stack of medical bills. Once the Medinas achieved citizenship, she saw a neurologist, and with the help of medication, the seizures are no more. Trips to the ER are a thing of the past. She revisited Haiti after the devastating 2010 earthquake and again after her grandmother died, and she’s remained starkly aware of the differences in the quality of life between her original home and her new home. So perhaps it was inevitable she’d become involved in student government and speak out on civic and social concerns.

“I don’t like politics,” she says, “but I don’t like staying quiet. There are so many people who’ve had their voices taken away and here I am with all this privilege. I can at least say something.” Medina has traveled to Tallahassee with FSCJ’s Student Government Association to lobby against academic changes that would hurt low-income and community college students and against legislative measures aimed at allowing guns on college campuses. In her role as FSCJ Kent Campus SGA president, she’s led on-campus diversity events and fundraisers for the Jacksonville Women’s Center’s rape recovery program. Still, Medina was surprised to find herself speaking to Vice President Mike Pence in March in a side room with 50 other people at the AIPAC (American Israel Public Affairs Committee) Conference in Washington, D.C. Noting Medina’s record of activism, Florida College System Student Government Association or FCSSGA (pronounced Fuhsee-guh), the umbrella organization for every SGA in the state, funded her trip to D.C. Responding to the Trump Administration’s attempted Muslim travel bans, Medina told Pence that today’s immigrants are coming to America for the same reasons earlier immigrants came—to escape hardship and make better lives for themselves. “Immigrants don’t come here to waste time,” she told him. “Most of us don’t come here to leech off others and most of us have great pride.” Pence made no attempt to appear politic, she says. He told her there are plenty of other countries for immigrants to choose. But Lyse Medina is the face of young America. What she brings this country, this community, and this city she will bring as an American. And as a Haitian immigrant. Meanwhile, she attends Prince of Peace Catholic Church off University Boulevard, which offers, in addition to regular mass, Haitian Creole Mass and a Nigerian Mass. She helps produce a summer show for children on Radio Puissance Inter. She loves Beignet’s Caribbean Café’s banan, griot and pikliz, traditional Haitian rice, plaintain and pork, but no restaurant can compete with the massive feast her mother cooks for the community at mass each week. Timothy Gilmore EPluribus@folioweekly.com _____________________________________ E Pluribus Jax profiles unique individuals and groups that comprise and define our community. Share your local subculture/ethnicity/religious minority/disability/hairstyle or other otherness with us at epluribus@folioweekly.com.

AUGUST 16-22, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9


FOLIO COMMUNITY : NEWS

A HOME

WITHIN

Homelessness helped one man find his PASSION & PURPOSE

10 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 16-22, 2017

ON A WARM, STICKY AFTERNOON IN Downtown Jacksonville, Christopher Goetz entered Chamblin’s Uptown bookstore and café. He wore a mint-green top and sandals and carried a bag. He’s a Navy veteran and a University of North Florida student, so you may never have guessed he was once without a home, out on the streets. And because he was once homeless, Goetz has taken a keen interest in studying how homelessness works and why it’s a recurring phenomenon for some individuals. Due to knowledge gained while in pursuit of a degree in psychology, Goetz has been able to look at the homeless community and the issue of homelessness itself through a psychological lens. He claims that, among other things, it comes down to social psychology. Goetz, who declined to be photographed for this story, told Folio Weekly that after losing his job a decade ago, he couch-hopped from place to place for a while until, with nowhere left to go, he found himself on the streets of Jacksonville. For three long years, he roamed the alleys and avenues, getting tips from other homeless people on places where it was safe to set up a tent and how to avoid getting in trouble with the police. Goetz tried to not cross paths with those members of the homeless community who relied on drugs to selfmedicate and to make a living. “[I] lived under the wooden bridge on Riverwalk,” he said. Currently, Goetz lives at Liberty Center, where he dedicates himself to learning everything he can about the psychology behind homelessness. He says the cycle of homelessness for some individuals is caused by “prolonged adolescent syndrome,” a term he uses to describe “the desire to express personal independence while hoping that someone will make the bigger decisions.” Goetz believes that a portion of the homeless population being served at shelters and receiving goods and services are being enabled by these actions, in essence, an unbroken circle of need/receive, with no effort required by the person receiving the services. “It becomes really bad because everything is coming to you,” he continued. As described by Goetz, this repetitive behavior of acceptance and stagnancy rewards individuals who are continuing to take advantage of the cycle of homelessness. “[People say] I’m going to justify what got me here,” he said. He is overflowing with ideas on how to make the condition of homelessness less devastating and how we can tailor efforts to the low-income community of Jacksonville. Specifically, he believes that the idea and perception of homelessness has to change first, before anything else can happen. “The wording of everything that has to do with

homelessness is negative … We have to change the language,” he said. By way of example, Goetz says, volunteers often come to missions with good intentions, but it seems to him that volunteers incorrectly see themselves as above and opposite to the people they serve. “It shouldn’t be two groups; it should be one group [whose members are] looking … at each other,” he said. “Sometimes two groups together can hinder instead of help. [These two] groups have to meet as equals … The groups that come to help must understand how their actions are perceived and play into the current and future attitudes of the clients. Although neither side will traditionally trust each other, the change in attitude is necessary,” he added.

“I lived

UNDER THE BRIDGE on Riverwalk.”

Goetz mentions the cliques and subgroups that exist within the homeless community, such as addicts who sell prescriptions to buy other drugs, or those who are “coming into [the homeless community] as a ‘normal’ person and are being introduced to abnormal people.” He explains the subculture as a sort of hierarchy in which some form alliances with others to share food stamps, drugs, money or living space on the street, in shelters, or shacking up together in motels. Just as in any culture, some want a better life and some are content to stay where they are. Goetz said, “In my 10 years within the homeless, low-income community, I have found that many [who] deeply wish to change their circumstances tend to stay away from many of the opportunities that are presented and with no good reason.” Another pertinent issue that Goetz says is a part of the homeless subculture is that individuals see homelessness as a never-ending cycle. “[We] have to look at homelessness as a life event.” In order to see homelessness as something less daunting, Goetz suggests, “[We should] take the idea of the five stages of grief therapy and use them [in the study of] homelessness.” As a psychology major, Goetz believes mental health is at the center of most, if not all, events, relationships and issues and

believes implementing counseling services and psychologists for homeless individuals could only be beneficial. Not only does Goetz have a few ideas about improving the quality of life for the homeless, he has some thoughts on how to improve local infrastructure for those in the low-income community. His suggestions include building a bike path across the Mathews Bridge, adding a pedestrian bridge from Riverside to San Marco, extending the Skyway, upgrading and repairing sewer and water systems, constructing microapartments and creating housing for those with major psychological illnesses. Additionally, he has an idea for the Laura Street Trio buildings. “We should convert them into a homeless [and] low-income welcome center. This would include facilities for the Duval County Health Department to assess [needs]. It would also provide a facility to [see to the] basic psychological needs of clients … and create appointments as necessary. “My own experience shows that every homeless client should have access to mental health [services] in order to understand themselves within the current situation and work toward the desire to quit any addictions.” In addition to his ideas about providing counseling and renovating infrastructure, Goetz believes simple logistics changes could greatly benefit the homeless community. “[We should] make one program responsible for the feeding of homeless living on the streets.” He said that the schedules for meals provided by multiple Jacksonville missions are confusing and jumbled, especially for people who are newly homeless. During his time on the streets, Christopher Goetz became something of a student of homelessness, learning and absorbing much about his environment and circumstances. This, along with his natural intellect and curiosity, led to one of the workers he’d befriended at the Clara White Mission to urge him to better himself. He relates how the worker, Rhonda Henry, said to him, “You need to go to school.” And so, helped by grants and student loans, Goetz has been able to attend UNF, where he has discovered his calling. He hopes to someday find a benefactor to help him pursue a PhD in psychology and economics so he can work to find a way to halt the cycle of homelessness. Many who have experienced homelessness may want to just forget, or view that time of their lives in a purely negatively light. Not Goetz. “It is a learning opportunity. It is the opportunity to stand on one’s own and know an individual’s true worth. I can walk down North Laura Street and know who I am … I don’t need material goods.” Caroline Trussell mail@folioweekly.com


AUGUST 16-22, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11


Nineteen-year-old MAKAYLA TYRRELL tears up the track

WAKE UP.

RACE.

S T O R Y B Y G A B R I E L L E G A R AY

MAKAYLA TYRRELL’s life is a study of the routine. Wake up, time for work. After that, class. Homework, then straight to the track.

12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 16-22, 2017

REPEAT.

PHOTOS BY MADISON GROSS

Makayla’s head buzzes throughout the day as she weaves through a packed schedule. She balances her responsibilities of working full-time as a manager at Firehouse Subs and being a full-time student in order to make time for one all-important activity: racing. “I don’t think anything will ever stop me,” she said.

Makayla was behind the wheel of a car even before she had her license. At the tender age of 13, she started driving around a dirt track, but her interest in racing had been percolating long before; at two, she was a “mini pitman” for her father. By 16, she had 10 feature wins under her belt. In 2014, CONTINUED NEXT PAGE >>>


AUGUST 16-22, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 13


photo courtesy the Tyrrell family

WAKE UP.

RACE. REPEAT. <<< FROM PREVIOUS the Jacksonville Stock Car Racing Hall of Fame recognized her achievements by naming her that year’s “Up and Coming Star of Tomorrow.” You’ll often see her roaring around tracks in Georgia and Florida in a brightred 2011 Larry Shaw open wheel modified racecar with 3D splashed across the roof and sides. Never afraid of machine power, 14 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 16-22, 2017

Locals Makayla and her father David Tyrrell (at top and left) have been recognized by the Jacksonville Stock Car Hall of Fame. Above, the 19-year-old flashes a huge grin from behind the wheel of her 2011 Larry Shaw open wheel modified racecar.

off the track she rolls around in a Ford F250—bright red, of course. At the track, Makayla trades her blouse for a racing suit, her glittery nails shimmering when she wipes the mud from her car. When she pulls that long blonde hair up into a bun, it’s time to get to work. Other racers may overlook the teen with a country accent and big green eyes who seems every bit the quintessential Southern sweetheart … until they’re staring at the words “Daddy’s money,” emblazoned in bright yellow letters across her car’s trunk as she whizzes past them, always with a smile.

Makayla can be found on the track most weekends, practicing or competing. The 19-year-old estimates she’s been in 80 races. She’s already made a name for herself, snagging up 13 trophies, including 11 first-place wins. She treasures the memory of driving into the pit with tears in her eyes after that first win. “I got out my car and my dad gave me the biggest hug ever. You couldn’t wipe that smile off my face for two days.” Makayla’s success shouldn’t be much of a surprise; after all, racing is in her blood. The self-proclaimed daddy’s girl says she’s learned everything she knows from her father, David. “I’ve always told

him I want to be just like him,” she said. “He’s my role model.” David Tyrrell has more than 60 feature wins and three track championships; in 2015, he was inducted in the Jacksonville Stock Car Racing Hall of Fame. Because of him, Makayla grew up on racetracks, among the tires and pit crews, eager to help any way she could. “My mom was so persistent; she didn’t let me do anything. She had me sit on top of a race trailer and be his little cheerleader,” she laughed. The first official task she was allowed to do at the track was to hand her father his gloves and helmet and help him put them on after


he strapped himself in. As time went on, she took on more responsibilities, such as helping change tires. “She would stand there by the car until I went out onto the track,” David said. Though her father fully supports her racing career, he insists it comes in second, behind her education. Changing tires, lapping opponents, and earning points are the easy parts; finding the proper balance can be more difficult. After she got her first car at age 13, a fixer-upper street stock ’76 Camaro, Makayla says she would speed through homework to help her father work on it. That year, she and her father were outside working on the Camaro when a tow truck rolled up with the red 3D. “I had no idea it was mine,” she said. Like many teens, Makayla began her first job in high school. But she didn’t let that hinder her training, dedicating as many night and weekend hours to racing as she could. David assisted with some vehicular maintenance. Nevertheless, inevitably, something had to give. “I didn’t have any friends and I still don’t have many friends, ’cause this is what I do,” she admitted. “The majority of them did play with dolls and makeup and all that stuff but I wasn’t into that, so I kind of stuck to myself with the older people at my pits.” Now that Makayla’s racing career has taken off, David has put his own racing on the back burner, focusing now on helping his daughter succeed. “I really like teaching and watching her, you know. But if I’m racing at the same time, then that can’t happen,” David said. Makayla has come a long way since that first race, when David says she drove like a granny. “I thought I going so fast, but really I was going so slow … . I was so embarrassed,” she laughed. Other drivers lapped her three times. She came in last place. Other than achieving such a high level of success at such a young age, being a woman sets her apart from most of the competition. Makayla says she’s proud to be a rare female in the maledominated racing world. But it hasn’t all been without conflict. Often the only woman in a race, she’s also usually among the youngest of the drivers. Most drivers are a great deal older, some twice her age, or more. “The best feeling is when you come back and you outrun them, and you show them that just because I’m a girl doesn’t mean you can run me over,” Makayla said. She says some older male competitors have tried writing her off, and some have even tried driving through her. Overcoming the barrier created by their assumptions, and proving she is just as capable as

they are, has been one the toughest challenges she’s faced on the track. “I had to learn to put on my tough-girl pants and show the guys that just ’cause I’m a teenage girl doesn’t mean you can run me over all the time,” she said. “You should have gotten out of the way” and “Girls shouldn’t be out here anyway” are among some of the comments she says she’s heard around the track. At one race, she recalls, she was being nudged so hard she began spinning toward the retention wall, but before she crashed, she managed to save herself from colliding face-first. David says that, at times, he’s confronted other racers

about their aggression, or “rough driving” his daughter. Though she faces a cloud of adversity, Makayla chooses to perceive it as having a silver lining. She strives to be a role model for other young girls on and around the track. “I take time with my fans at the track. I have a bunch of little girls that run around with my shirts on and I care about them, you know,” she said. Makayla hasn’t made up her mind, but says she’s been toying with the idea of pursuing professional racing as a career. She doesn’t want to set her heart on it, though; she’s afraid of having it

broken. In the meantime, she is a fulltime student studying to be a respiratory therapist. She plans to continue working and going to school full-time, and keep racing to beat the odds. Makayla says that her father’s tutelage has been crucial to her success on the track. That, and experience. “Racing isn’t the type of activity you can learn from reading a book,” she said. Gabrielle Garay mail@folioweekly.com _________________________________ Makayla Tyrrell’s next race is on Saturday, Aug. 19 at Bubba Raceway Park, 9050 NW Gainesville Rd., Ocala.

AUGUST 16-22, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15


FOLIO A + E

S

ometimes, the best-kept secrets in music are more than ready to be revealed. Concurrent in every genre, there are musicians and songwriters who, through no fault of their own, travel on a semi-clandestine, albeit admired, orbit. Hosannas don’t always pay the bills, but they sure as hell can make you feel less alone. Even the phrase “doomed to obscurity” could be turned around as “blessed with autonomy”; no expectations are made on your career and you gain an audience of like-minded people who want you to evolve artistically. Randall Bramblett has prospered in just this environment for decades, making career choices based on savvy intuition and creative combat wisdom, rather than sales spreadsheets and trend-hopping. A native of Jesup, Georgia, in the mid-’70s, Bramblett released two folk-rock-leaning albums that critics deemed “rich, funky, hip and raw.” It was during this era when Bramblett cofounded Sea Level with three members of The Allman Brothers Band–Jaimoe Johnson, Chuck Leavell and Lamar Williams–an offshoot that went even further into jazz-rock and fusion than their better-known predecessor. Bramblett also became a key player on the Capricorn Records label, appearing as a guest artist on several releases. In the decades since, multi-instrumentalist (keyboards, sax, guitar, vocals) Bramblett has been an on-demand side player. Over the course of a career of more than 40 years, the now-69-year-old Bramblett worked with likes of Gregg Allman, Bonnie Bramlett, Widespread Panic, Steve Winwood and Traffic. That last gig lead to a 16-year run with the innovative supergroup. Bramblett is routinely labeled as a “Southern rock singer-songwriter,” a categorization that’s as off the mark as calling Duane Allman a “Southern rock guitarist.” Bramblett is known primarily as a lyricist, albeit one with a helluva bluesy, soulful voice that can deliver. He’s released more than a dozen albums, both solo and with other artists. While Bramblett’s heady topics–the complexities of love, spirituality, addiction, etc.–might go over the heads of pop audiences, they certainly go straight to the hearts of music fans able to tune in on his wavelength. This year, the veteran musician releases his new album, Juke Joint at the Edge of the World (New West Records), on which he and band–Nick Johnson and Davis Causey (guitars), Michael Steele (bass) and Seth Hendershot (drums)–do a serious reboot of rootsy music.

16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 16-22, 2017

FILM Films About Authors FILM Wind River Review ARTS Laurence Walden MUSIC The Goddamn Gallows LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CALENDAR

Randall Bramblett’s latest release reaffirms his status as the HIGH POET of authenticity, heartache and honky tonk

THE GENUINE

ARTICLE

Never one to step back from testdriving new ideas, Bramblett uses this 10-song collection to propel his forays into sonic textures even deeper, with electronic sounds and unique production ideas that most of his peers wouldn’t dream of exploring. Lyrically, Bramblett is true to form. From the end-of-the-world shuffle of “Plan B,” whose narrator has a serious case of the “fuck-its,” the socially conscious “Pot Hole on Main Street” and the syrupy funk/romantic send-off of “I Just Don’t Have the Time,” to the paean to everyday mysticism of “Mali Katra,” Bramblett maintains his top-level skills as an incisive songsmith. Bramblett’s story is a survivor’s tale. He’s witnessed cultural and music trends, from psychedelia to the record biz crash, and outlived many of his peers, surely due in no small part to his getting clean

and sober decades ago. It’s a lifestyle choice he acknowledges helped ramp up his game, and his subsequent, critically acclaimed discography bears that out. Folio Weekly rang up Bramblett at his longtime home in Athens, Georgia. Here are some highlights from our talk. Folio Weekly: Your latest release is called Juke Joint at the Edge of the World. Does that title allude to the current, apocalyptic bounce house we’re living in? Randall Bramblett: [Laughs.] That’s pretty good: “apocalyptic bounce house.” I could’ve called it that. But yeah, I guess it’s kind of tied together with all of the craziness that’s going on. But a lot of it’s about the feel of the music–which kind of has some of that low-down stuff going … fun dance music, but it’s also kind of weird. It fits with the title for me. I’m just trying something different, keeping it fresh. The music came out of playing places where people dance and then we can have fun just kind of improvising–and most of the recording is pretty much live.

RANDALL BRAMBLETT

8 p.m. Aug. 18, Grand Opening of Blue Jay Listening Room, 2457B S. Third St., Jax Beach, $35, bluejayjax.com

PG. 20 PG. 21 PG. 24 PG. 26 PG. 27

I wouldn’t say the album is a departure from your previous work but, sonically, you’re really stepping out. What inspired you to go that deep with this vibe? Well, the first song [“Plan B”] has some serious weirdness to it. [Laughs.] But I’ve always been into that kind of sonic ambience and I don’t want to play straight-ahead stuff all of the time; I want to take you to another place, sonically. I’ve always had some of that [experimentation] but this one probably has a little more of it in there. Like on “Plan B,” there’s a keyboard, ring modulator solo that’s really out. [Laughs.] And I was really thinking of things like Miles and Bitches Brew–just pulling from that stuff, you know? The lyrics go equally “out.” “Mali Katra” seems based on an almostmystical consciousness, or at least realization, of reality. That song is like an Eastern, Indian thing. I kind of dreamed that song; especially the chorus. I don’t know what the chorus means–they’re just words that I used; but again, I didn’t try to think about it too much. I just left it as is: “Mali Katra / Mali Sutra.” I had this experience of seeing a bunch of buzzards on a cell tower, and thinking about death a lot, the end of my life, and getting older … all of that stuff. I thought it was good if I could integrate technology with buzzards and cell phones ringing, with death on the other end. [Laughs.] Over the years, have you created any deliberate method to kind of “go within” and hit a deeper level of emotionality, if not vulnerability, when you’re writing? You know, I’m always trying to be authentic. What’s my authenticity? It’s just my experience, especially after getting sober. But also my experience before being sober–it was rough. I thought I was going for something, like when you think you’re making progress or trying to be “spiritual” or whatever. And you’re fuckin’ up bad and just the pain from that experience. I’m trying to draw from that because I don’t have the pain of childhood as much as a lot of people do. But I can draw on what I’ve learned and the people I’ve met, the stories that I hear. So what do you draw on to be authentic? I’m trying to draw on what I’ve learned and what I feel now, in sobriety. Writing sober is one of the hardest things that I’ve ever had to learn how to do. It’s worse than learning how to dance. [Laughs.] Daniel A. Brown mail@folioweekly.com


AUGUST 16-22, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17


NEWS & MEDIA

◾ Best Local Volunteer Effort

◾ Best Gentlemen’s Club

◾ Best Local Writer

◾ Best Local Religious/ Spiritual Leader

◾ Best Local Athlete

◾ Best Local Scandal

◾ Best Local Trend

◾ Best Local Nonprofit

Reader Nominated Category ◾ Best Local Gone Bad

◾ Best Local Columnist

◾ Best Local Righteous Crusader ◾ Best Local Investigative Reporter ◾ Best Local TV Anchor ◾ Best Local TV Newscast ◾ Hottest Local Celebrity ◾ Best Local TV Weather Forecaster ◾ Best Local TV Sports Anchor ◾ Best Local TV Morning Show ◾ Best Local Radio Personality ◾ Best Local Sports Radio Personality ◾ Best Local Radio Station ◾ Best Local Radio Show ◾ Best Thing to Happen in Northeast Florida in 2017 ◾ Worst Thing to Happen in Northeast Florida in 2017

Reader Nominated Category ◾ Local Who Needs To Lay Low Indefinitely Reader Nominated Category ◾ Best Local Podcast Reader Nominated Category ◾ Best Hair Reader Nominated Category ◾ Best Mustache/Facial Hair Reader Nominated Category ◾ Best Local Character Reader Nominated Category ◾ Best Local Social Justice Warrior Reader Nominated Category ◾ Best Environmental Justice Organization

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT/ SPORTS & OUTDOORS ◾ Best Local Community Theater

◾ Best Trivia Night ◾ Best Local College ◾ Best Local Teacher ◾ Best Farmers Market ◾ Best Place to Bike ◾ Best Surf Spot ◾ Best Place for People Watching ◾ Best Fishing Spot ◾ Best Festival ◾ Best Local Cosplayer ◾ Best Local Cosplay Event Reader Nominated Category ◾ Best Public Artwork Reader Nominated Category ◾ Best Local Attraction Reader Nominated Category ◾ Best Coach Reader Nominated Category ◾ Best Golfer Reader Nominated Category ◾ Best Mascot

◾ Best Local Actor/Actress

Reader Nominated Category ◾ Best Dressed

◾ Local Zero

◾ Best Local Theater Production

Reader Nominated Category ◾ Best Celebrity Look-Alike

◾ Best Local Weirdo

◾ Best Movie Theater

◾ Best Reason to Love Northeast Florida

◾ Best Dance Studio

Reader Nominated Category ◾ Best Bathrooms

◾ Local Hero

◾ Best Reason to Hate Northeast Florida ◾ Best Folio Weekly Cover Story of 2017 ◾ Best Local Blog ◾ Best Local News Website ◾ Best Local Twitter Account ◾ Best Local Facebook Page ◾ Best Local Instagram Account ◾ Best Use of Local Public Money ◾ Best Waste of Local Public Money ◾ Best Local Environmental Abomination ◾ Best Local Environmental Activist 18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 16-22, 2017

Reader Nominated Category ◾ Best Chutzpah

◾ Best Open Mic Night

◾ Best Museum ◾ Best Gallery ◾ Best Art Exhibit of 2017

SHOPPING/ HEALTH & BEAUTY/ EDUCATION ◾ Best Bike Shop

◾ Best Local Visual Artist

◾ Best Dive Shop

◾ Best Place to Attend a Concert

◾ Best Surf Shop

◾ Best Concert of 2017 ◾ Best Local Musician/Band ◾ Best Local Dance Club

◾ Best Skate Shop

E

◾ Best Day Spa

◾ Best Wine Shop

◾ Best Gay/Lesbian Club

◾ Best Vintage Clothing Store

◾ Best Local Drag Star

◾ Best Consignment Shop

◾ Best Club DJ

◾ Best Liquor Store

◾ Best Live Music Club

◾ Best Health Club/Gym

◾ Best Nightclub

◾ Best Tattoo Studio

◾ Best Comedy Club

◾ Best Yoga Studio

◾ Best Local Comedian

◾ Best Local Bookstore


THE RULES • VOTE ONLINE ONLY AT FOLIOWEEKLY.COM • ONE ballot per person • Ballots MUST contain AT LEAST 30 legitimate responses in order to count • Survey will TIME OUT if unattended for longer than 40 minutes • Please keep your answers LOCAL • Poll closes at MIDNIGHT FRI., SEPT. 1 ◾ Best Comic Book Store

WINNERS PUBLISHED OCT. 4 & 11 Encourage your friends and customers to VOTE by sharing the poll on Facebook™ and Twitter® or by using the email prompt on the final page of the online ballot. Thanks for reading FOLIO WEEKLY, where YOU are always the BEST!

◾ Best Health Food Store

◾ Best Restaurant in OP/Fleming Island/ Green Cove Springs

◾ Best Clothing Store

◾ Best Seafood

◾ Best Place to Buy a Car

◾ Best Chicken Wings

◾ Best Jewelry Store

◾ Best Hot Dog

◾ Best Florist

◾ Best Sub Sandwich

◾ Best Hospital

◾ Best Dessert

◾ Best Lawyer

◾ Best Steak

◾ Best Plastic Surgeon

◾ Best Restaurant to Impress a Date

B

◾ Best Veterinarian

◾ Best Caribbean Restaurant ◾ Best Mediterranean Restaurant ◾ Best Italian Restaurant ◾ Best Chinese Restaurant ◾ Best Thai Restaurant ◾ Best Mexican Restaurant ◾ Best Pizza in Jax ◾ Best Pizza in St. Augustine ◾ Best Pizza on Amelia Island

◾ Best Dentist

◾ Best Restaurant When Someone Else is Paying

◾ Best Doctor

◾ Best Coffeehouse

◾ Best Pizza in OP/Fleming Island/ Green Cove Springs

◾ Best Massage Therapist

◾ Best Deli

◾ Best Bar Food

◾ Best Sports Bar

◾ Best Late Night Spot

◾ Best Burrito

◾ Best Happy Hour

◾ Best Bagel

◾ Best Wine List

◾ Best Barbecue

◾ Best Beer Selection

◾ Best Comfort Food

◾ Best Cocktail Selection

◾ Best Vegan/ Vegetarian Restaurant

◾ Best Margarita

◾ Best Hairstylist ◾ Best Hair Salon Reader Nominated Category ◾ Best Tattoo Artist Reader Nominated Category ◾ Best Family Lawyer Reader Nominated Category ◾ Best DUI Lawyer Reader Nominated Category ◾ Best Salvage/Reuse/ Repurpose Company Reader Nominated Category ◾ Best Vape Shop Reader Nominated Category ◾ Best Flea Market Reader Nominated Category ◾ Best Travel Agent Reader Nominated Category ◾ Best Mattress Store Reader Nominated Category ◾ Best Sex Shop Reader Nominated Category ◾ Best Real Estate Agent

S

DINING & DRINKING ◾ Best Server

◾ Best Restaurant Serving Locally-Sourced Food ◾ Best All-You-Can-Eat Special/Buffet ◾ Best Meal for Under $10 ◾ Best Tapas ◾ Best Smoothie ◾ Best Frozen Yogurt Shop ◾ Best Breakfast ◾ Best Brunch

◾ Best Martini ◾ Best Hookah Lounge ◾ Best Pub ◾ Best Microbrewery ◾ Best Wine Bar ◾ Best Neighborhood Bar in Jax ◾ Best Neighborhood Bar in St. Augustine ◾ Best Neighborhood Bar on Amelia Island

◾ Best Sushi

◾ Best Neighborhood Bar in OP/Fleming Island/ Green Cove Springs

◾ Best Fish Camp

◾ Best Inn/B&B in Jax

◾ Best Food Truck

◾ Best Inn/B&B in St. Augustine

◾ Best Bakery

◾ Best Indian ◾ Best Burger in Jax

◾ Best Inn/B&B on Amelia Island

◾ Best Burger in St. Augustine

Reader Nominated Category ◾ Best Doughnuts

◾ Best Burger on Amelia Island

Reader Nominated Category ◾ Best Cuban Restaurant

◾ Best Restaurant in Jax

◾ Best Burger in OP/Fleming Island/ Green Cove Springs

Reader Nominated Category ◾ Best Macaroni and Cheese

◾ Best Restaurant in St. Augustine

◾ Best Japanese Restaurant

Reader Nominated Category ◾ Best Pet-Friendly Restaurant/Bar

◾ Best Restaurant on Amelia Island

◾ Best Middle Eastern Restaurant

Reader Nominated Category ◾ Best Soup

◾ Best Bartender/ Mixologist ◾ Best Chef ◾ Best Barista

◾ Best New Restaurant

AUGUST 16-22, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 19


FOLIO A+E : MAGIC LANTERNS

MOVIES FOR

READERS D’Onofrio in The Whole Wide World

I

20 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 16-22, 2017

n most ways, Thomas Wolfe and Robert E. Howard couldn’t have been more dissimilar. Born in North Carolina, youngest of eight, Wolfe earned University of North Carolina and Harvard degrees. Texas-born Howard finished his formal education with high school. Wolfe’s greatest family influence was his father; with Howard, his mother. Wolfe wrote long, autobiographical novels, becoming a literary darling with Look Homeward, Angel and its sequel five years on, Of Time and the River. Howard focused on short tales which he sold to various pulp mags, making him wildly popular with fans of those “low-brow” publications. There are, however, striking similarities. Both men were obsessed with their art and their legacy, both reached the pinnacle of success in the 1930s, and both died young— Wolfe in 1938 at 37 of a brain tumor; Howard in 1936 at age 30, a suicide. Each is the subject of a very good film; both films flew under the box-office radar. The Whole Wide World (’96), an independent feature costarring Renée Zellweger as Robert E. Howard’s girlfriend, opened a week after Jerry Maguire (with Tom Cruise) made Zellweger a star, utterly eclipsing the smaller film. Genius (’16), despite leads Jude Law and Oscar-winner Colin Firth, and Nicole Kidman in a strong supporting role, simply disappeared from the big screen. Yet both films are real winners. The Whole Wide World was based on Novalyne Price’s ’86 memoir, One Who Walked Alone, about her relationship with Howard 50 years before. Starring Vincent D’Onofrio as Howard and Zellweger as Price, the movie beautifully captures the landscape and smalltown look of 1930s Texas, as well as Howard’s tortured psyche, which drove him toward fantastic worlds of creations (the most famous is Conan the Barbarian) and away from fulfilling human relationships. By most accounts, young schoolteacher Price was his only girlfriend. His life’s main female influence, though, was definitely his invalid mother. When she slipped into an irreversible coma, Howard walked to his car and shot himself, leaving a typewritten poem as a farewell note.

Beautiful tragedies from the WRITER’S ROOM

Directed by Dan Ireland and coproduced by D’Onofrio, the movie is a labor of love, with a low-key approach, and muted yet powerful performances. On receiving her Oscar for Cold Mountain seven years on, Zellweger thanked D’Onofrio for “Teaching me how to work.” They make an good team. So do Law (as Wolfe) and Firth (as editor Maxwell Perkins) in Genius. Based on A. Scott Berg’s ’78 National Book Award Perkins biography, the movie’s title, like its focus, relates to both men. Perkins was an esteemed Scribner’s editor whose clients and friends included F. Scott Fitzgerald and Ernest Hemingway. Perkins gave Wolfe his big chance after the aspiring novelist’s 1,100-page O Lost manuscript was rejected by most every other U.S. publisher. Under Perkins’ astute eye and red pencil, the unmanageable work was substantially slimmed down and retitled Look Homeward, Angel. The stock market crashed 11 days after its publication, but the novel made Wolfe’s reputation, further bolstered by “Of Time and the River” (’35), again diligently whittled into shape by Perkins, to whom Wolfe dedicated the books. After that apex, though, the bond faded. As volatile, self-absorbed Wolfe, Law gives a flamboyant but utterly convincing performance. Firth, as the more reserved Perkins, is magnificent. So is Kidman as older, married Aline Bernstein, Wolfe’s mistress, to whom his first novel was dedicated. Soon after it printed, he left her. Rich in allusion, the film includes brief segments about Perkins’ ties with Fitzgerald (Guy Pearce) and Hemingway (Dominic West) and their takes on him. Laura Linney plays Perkins’ wife, and mother of five daughters. Their solid union is in the background of Genius, a tonal counterpart to Wolfe’s tumultuous, whirlwind existence. A dual delight for book-lovers, The Whole Wide World and Genius bring a cinematic eye to the joys and travails of those who put the words to paper. Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com

NOW SHOWING CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ Marie Curie and Maudie run. Throwback Thursday runs Serendipity, noon Aug. 17 and 6 p.m. Aug. 20. Kedi starts Aug. 18. Food Choices runs 7 p.m. Aug. 18. 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com. IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT Summer Movie Classics screens Sidney Poitier’s stunning portrayal of a detective battling crime and bigotry, (50th anniversary), 2 p.m. Aug. 20, The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $7.50/film; floridatheatre.com. The multiple Oscar-winner costars Rod Steiger and Warren Oates. SUN-RAY CINEMA Robert Mitchum is celebrated with Friends of Eddie Coyle 7 p.m. Aug. 30, noon Sept. 2. Landline, The Big Sick, The Little Hours, Detroit and Endless Poetry screen, 1028 Park St., 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. Logan Lucky starts Aug. 18. IMAX THEATER Dunkirk, Prehistoric Planet 3D, Amazon Adventure, Dream Big and Extreme Weather run, World Golf Village, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com. Inhumans starts Aug. 31.


FOLIO A+E : FILM

OVERSET

MOODY YET

LACKLUSTER

Wind River Almost Lives Up to Its Snow-Covered Promise

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he Wind River Indian Reservation is a Until it doesn’t. If the first two-thirds terrible place to call home. In Wind River, of Sheridan’s film provide a good story and all the locals hate it. It’s cold, isolated, drama, the last third falls apart. The villains are unforgiving and horribly dull. It’s also, through introduced late, the resolution is unsatisfying the eyes of writer/director Taylor Sheridan, a and the ending is overall anti-climactic. At pretty effective setting for a murder mystery. one point Corey refers to a character as dying Jeremy Renner stars as Corey Lambert, “with a whimper”; the same could be said of a hunter/tracker in this remote and frigid the movie. Wyoming territory. When working in the vast Still, there are enough positives to make mountainside he discovers the body of Natalie it marginally worth watching, including (Kelsey Asbille), a local teen impressive cinematography by Ben Richardson (Beasts whose father (Gil Birmingham) WIND RIVER of the Southern Wild) and a is an old friend of Corey’s. ***N musical score by Nick Cave With the well-meaning tribal Rated PG-13 and Warren Ellis that is police, led by its chief (Graham appropriately ominous without Greene), of little help, F.B.I. being overbearing. There are also some nicely Agent Jane Banner (Elizabeth Olsen) enlists acted individual scenes, including a law Corey’s assistance to find out who raped and enforcement standoff and the flashback to the murdered Natalie. night of the rape. Jane isn’t fresh out of the academy the Crime-driven, snow-covered movies way Clarice Starling was in The Silence of the like this are inherently fascinating. Fargo Lambs, but she may as well be. She’s from is the best of its kind, but there’s also the Fort Lauderdale, was stationed in Vegas, underappreciated Snow Angels and A Simple and shows up in Wind River wearing a thin Plan, to name two more. There’s something jacket and heels. Later she gets maced while about the harshness of the elements reflecting confronting a suspect, and after that has a rude the bitter cruelty of the story that often allows surprise happen while knocking on a door. the films to really click. Wind River may not She’s competent, but this is all new for her, and click as much as it should, but it uses this one of the appeals of the film is watching her appeal in the best ways possible. navigate this unfamiliar territory. Really, though, it’s Renner’s movie. His DID YOU KNOW? Corey is an emotionally broken man who’s The film was shot on location in Park City, excellent at what he does, and uses this Utah, which is home to the Sundance Film expertise to maneuver as needed to find Festival. It made its world premiere at the answers. At some points it may come a bit too festival in January 2017. easily for Corey, but because he’s a sympathetic Dan Hudak figure and we like the chemistry he shares with mail@folioweekly.com Jane, the story keeps us engaged. AUGUST 16-22, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 21


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JOEL BAGNAL GOLDSMITH

LAHERENCIA CAFE

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for one of her brothers, who was also a singer; don’t like drama. Blackstone Rangers was two other uncles were professional artists. His enough drama for a lifetime!” Laurence grandfather was a master carpenter who did Walden, aka “Blinky” (it’s his actual contract janitorial work on the side. middle name), chuckles between bites of his “So, growing up, I kept a pocketful of Greek salad while holding court at Mellow money” from doing light custodial work in Mushroom in Avondale. We met there to catch the mornings and on weekends. “I got about up on the latest development in what’s been $75 to $100 a week [equivalent to $800+ in an unusually busy year for a man who never today’s money], and that was the ’50s. We slows down. At 71, he moves at the speed of a shopped at Brooks Brothers. We were sharp. man half his age—and I would know, because We was TOO clean!” He still dresses much the I’m half his age, and I’m exhausted just from same way today, a tall man wearing zoot suits, talking to him. spats and porkpie hats with As the summer heat fades zero irony. He later applied into the shades of autumn, that eye to designing his pace only accelerates. He’s clothes for artists like The currently preparing a revue Bar-Kays, Isaac Hayes and for St. Johns Cathedral, built Gil Scott-Heron. around the music of jazz It was a very different singers Doris Day, Dinah time, to say the least. Shore, Peggy Lee and (my all“These kids today, they time personal favorite) Anita wouldn’t last five minutes,” O’Day. He’s also planning to From Hyde Park to Boone he says in regard to go on the road again with that city’s current crime “Me and Mr. B,” which pays Park, LAURENCE WALDEN wave, driven by failed tribute to Billy Eckstine. has stories to tell social policy and fueled Walden himself has been by cheap guns imported singing since he was in short from neighboring states. The gang scene pants (but now he makes the pants himself, of Walden’s youth was more refined; it was sometimes). less about random killing and more about And then there’s his art, which is the avenue streamlined, tightly organized violence that through which most people know him. He just was a means to an end, rather than the end finished a portrait of Councilman Jim Love, itself. He was a light-skinned black man in an who helped him produce “In Jacksonville,” a era when skin tone mattered far more than rah-rah tourist anthem that can be seen on the color of your clothes, a characteristic that YouTube. The Pan-African masks he made could be problematic, sometimes lethally so. using old silverware have given way to a It helped that his girlfriend’s brother ran the steampunk aesthetic, augmenting straw hats Egyptian Cobras gang; it also helped that he and fedoras with old clock gears and, most was a football star—first a tight end, then later recently, wooden ties and pocket squares. his school’s first black quarterback. He was Seriously—wooden ties. a natural athlete, leading the Blue Devils of Though his name is synonymous with the Tilden Technical High School’s class of 1964. old-school jazz he’s sung since childhood, When the Army called his number for Walden’s roots are more pedestrian. The Vietnam, he bolted; the MPs finally found first record he ever bought was Gene Autry’s version of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” him already in the Air Force, in basic training but it was Jimmy Smith’s 1964 studio album, in Laredo, Texas. He eventually became a “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?”, that really technical illustrator and started on a string caught his fancy. He would later design the of chance occurrences around which his cover for his hero’s Jimmy Smith ’75 album, subsequent career was built. He was living in having bonded with the jazz instrumentalist Jacksonville then—Jacksonville, Arkansas, that after a chance meeting when Walden was is. He didn’t land in our Jacksonville until 1999. teaching in Riverside, California. The Ritz Theatre hired him to design posters Born on Aug. 18, 1946, Walden spent his for its reopening; he drove the printed posters down from Chicago and never went back. His childhood on Wabash Avenue, on Chicago’s mother became ill while visiting him, and spent historic Southside. He makes his Florida home her final years here. Like the lion in winter that today in Riverside, because it reminds him of he is, Walden is staying cool; it doesn’t take the Hyde Park area in which he grew up. His much effort, at least it seems that way. mother Harriet was a secretary for the Social Shelton Hull Security Administration, and wrote poetry in mail@folioweekly.com her spare time. An only child, he was named

SOUTH SIDE

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Walden’s work is currently on display at Miles Jaye’s Manhattan Jazz Café & Lounge, 2111 University Blvd. N., milesjayemanhattanjazz.com as well as at the Breezy Jazz Club, 119 W. Adams St., breezyjazzclub.com. 24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 16-22, 2017


ARTS + EVENTS PERFORMANCE RENUNCIANT Babs’ Lab and aJENNda productions present this original solo piece by Jennifer Chase telling the stories of the refugees Chase has taught for 14 years. 7:30 p.m. Aug. 15 & 16 at CoRK Arts District North, 603 W. King St., Riverside, $15 advance, $20 door; proceeds buy bus passes for refugees. OSCARIN & DANY LIVE! The popular Mexican entertainers perform juggling, acrobatics, breakdancing, more; plus games, contests, gifts, 11 a.m. Aug. 19 at Beach Blvd. Flea Market, 11041 Beach Blvd., Southside, 930-4149, free, jaxfleamarket.com. THE CALL A socially charged tale of identity, cultural divides and international adoptions, through Aug. 27 at The 5 & Dime A Theatre Company, 112 E. Adams St., Downtown, $17, the5anddime.org. DIXIE SWIM CLUB Starring Morgan Fairchild, this tale of friendship spans decades; it runs Aug. 16-Sept. 24 at Alhambra Dinner Theatre, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $38-$57, alhambrajax.com. AVENUE Q The puppet invasion is here! A group of 20somethings try to make their mark in New York in the Tony-winning musical; it runs through Aug. 20 at Amelia Community Theatre, 209 Cedar St., Fernandina Beach, $15-$25, ameliacommunitytheatre.org. THE 25th ANNUAL PUTNAM COUNTY SPELLING BEE The Limelight Theatre stages this nail-biter of an academic horserace; through Aug. 20 at 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, $15, 825-1164, limelight-theatre.org.

CLASSICAL + JAZZ MARCUS PRINTUP QUINTET This world-class group performs a free concert, followed by a jam session, 8-11:59 p.m. at The Parlour, 2000 San Marco Blvd., 396-4455. TAYLOR ROBERTS The jazz guitarist is on 7-10 p.m. every Wed. at Ocean 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060, ocean60.com. Also 4 p.m. Thur. at lobby bar; 6 p.m. Fri. & Sat., Salt Restaurant, Ritz-Carlton, 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., 277-1100, ritzcarlton.com. THREE GENERATIONS OF MUSICIANS Adult and child performers play important works of Pachel, Purcell, MacDowell, more. Adult performers include pianist Rosalind Elson and composer John Stribling; 3 p.m. Aug. 19 at Sam R. Marks Chapel, Jacksonville University, 2800 N. University Blvd., Arlington, 256-7370, free.

COMEDY MARK CURRY Curry, best-known for his zany series, Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper, has done much more, including a stint as Drew Carey’s boss on The Drew Carey Show and a lead in One Love, a Bounce TV production. He brings his effervescent energy to town, 7:30 p.m. Aug. 17; 7:30 & 9:45 p.m. Aug. 18 & 19 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, 292-4242, $20-$114.50, comedyzone.com. GUY TORRY On the Tom Joyner Morning Show, Torry mentioned OJ’s recent parole and then told of the time he left a knife at the Juice’s hotel room door–cringe-inducingly funny. Torry performs R-rated material 8 p.m. Aug. 17; 7:30 & 10 p.m. Aug. 12 & 19 at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-4277, $23-$50, jacksonvillecomedy.com. ANDREW DICE CLAY Banned by MTV, invisible for more than a decade, The Diceman’s recent, slow climb back into something like a career hit a high point with his performances in Woody Allen’s Blue Jasmine (2013) and the ill-fated Jagger/Scorsese/HBO series Vinyl. He returns to his standup roots 7:30 p.m. Aug. 20, Florida Theatre, $39.50-$75.

CALLS + WORKSHOPS ABET SEEKS ACTORS Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre holds auditions for its October drama The Effect of Gamma Rays on Man-in-the-Moon Marigolds, 11 a.m. Aug. 26 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., 249-7177, abettheatre.com. Call backs 11 a.m. Aug. 27. GROUP PIANO MUSIC INSTRUCTOR Jacksonville Children’s Chorus seeks an instructor for K5-third graders, to explain and demonstrate proper piano techniques and communicate effectively with students and parents. Apply at 225 E. Duval St., Jacksonville, jaxchildrenschorus.org. PRESCHOOL MUSIC INSTRUCTOR Jacksonville Children’s Chorus seeks an instructor for kids 18 months-four years, using age-appropriate songs, movement, and instruments

to teach Orff, Kodaly, and Dalcroze methods. Apply at 225 E. Duval St., jaxchildrenschorus.org. JPL MAKER CON Jacksonville Public Library’s Makerspace allows makers, artists, and writers to display their wares at this celebration of sci-fi, fantasy, cosplay and games, held Oct. 14; apply at jplfoundation.org/makercon; $35. ST. AUGUSTINE YOUTH CHORUS AUDITIONS The chorus, 30 singers ages 8-18 from St. Augustine and St. Johns County, seeks new members. Prior musical training not needed, but an audition–by appointment only–is required. To request one, go to staugustineyouthchorus.org/audition and complete the form. ONE SPARK CALL FOR CREATORS Creator applications are being accepted for this year’s fest, held Oct. 6 & 7 at EverBank Field. Deadline Sept. 8; details at onespark.com. CALL FOR TACTILE ART St. Augustine Art Association and The Florida School for the Deaf & the Blind hold the 16th annual touchable art event. No sharp edges please! Submissions for members, $15/piece; nonmembers, $35/ piece; students call for discount; limit 3 pieces. Receiving noon-6 p.m. Aug. 29; noon-4 p.m. Aug. 30 at 22 Marine St., 824-2310, staaa.org. FAMILY & CONSUMER SCIENCES The University of Florida/IFAS, Duval County Extension Service’s Family & Consumer Sciences Volunteer program needs volunteers to help with educational programs in nutrition, health and family financial management. Training is 10 a.m.-2 p.m. every Tue., Sept. 5-26 at Duval County Extension Office, 1010 N. McDuff Ave., Westside, 255-7450, $45. Apply online before Aug. 18 at duval.ifas.ufl.edu/cs_volunteer_programs.shtml.

ART WALKS + MARKETS RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Local, regional art; 9 a.m. yoga, live music–Madison Carr, Underhill Rose, Jerry Maniscalco–farmers market, 8:30 a.m.-4 p.m. Aug. 19 under Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com. CONSCIOUS MARKET Tastes and sips mingle, 7-11 p.m. every Sat. at Conscious Eats, 5913 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 5, Mandarin, 612-3934. Proceeds benefit Conscious Market/ Character Counts programs. WHITE HARVEST FARMS & FARMER’S MARKET Local organic, fresh produce, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. every Sat., 5348 Moncrief Rd., Northside, 354-4162; accepting cash, EBT, WIC, credit cards; proceeds benefit Clara White Mission, clarawhitemission.org.clarawhitemission.org.

MUSEUMS CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 29 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummermuseum.org. Ink, Silk & Gold: Islamic Treasures from the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston. displays through Sept. 3. Poetry of Landscape: The Art of Eugène Louis Charvot, through Sept. 10; David Ponsler: Chasing Shadows, through Oct. 4. A Collector’s Eye: Celebrating Joseph Jeffers Dodge, through Feb. 4. KARPELES MANUSCRIPT LIBRARY MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992, rain.org/~karpeles/ jaxfrm.html. Robert Fulton & the U.S. Navy: Steamboats & Submarines, and Leilani Leo’s All the Way Up paintings of gods and goddesses, both on display through August. MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY 1025 Museum Cir., Southbank, 396-6674, themosh.org; Vision Into Muslim Culture & Inventions: Ibn al-Haytham Professor Charles Falco, discusses inventor, philosopher and thinker al-Haytham’s contributions to modern science, 7-9 p.m. Aug. 14, free. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911, mocajacksonville.unf.edu. Project: Atrium installation, Plexus No. 38 by Gabriel Dawe, is on display through Oct. 29. Synthesize: Art + Music, works by contemporary sound-based artists, displays through Sept. 24. Iterations: Lorrie Fredette displays through Sept. 10.

GALLERIES ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., staaa. org. The eighth annual Nature & Wildlife Exhibit runs through Aug. 27. PHOTOGRAPHY EXHIBIT Adele Grage Cultural Center Gallery, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach. Eclecticism–the Photography of Jim Brady is shown 8 a.m.-4 p.m. daily through August.

BOLD BEAN 869 Stockton St., 374-5735, boldbeancoffee. com. Landscapes and Mix Tapes, new works by John O’Brian, displays through August. HOBNOB GALLERY & EVENT SPACE 220 Riverside Ave., hobnobjax.com. Sisters Holly and Heather Blanton show together in an ongoing display of individual and collaborative art. MAKERSPACE GALLERY Main Library, 303 N. Laura St., Downtown, 630-2665, jaxpubliclibrary.org/jax-makerspace. Survive to Thrive: Life Beyond Sexual Violence, runs through Oct. 22. RITZ THEATRE & MUSEUM 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 632-5555, ritzjacksonville.com. African Village Bazaar is noon-6 p.m. Aug. 27. MONYA ROWE GALLERY 4 Rohde Ave., St. Augustine, 217-0637, monyarowegallery.com. Louis Fratino solo show runs through Sept. 23. ROTUNDA GALLERY St. Johns County Admin. Bldg., 500 San Sebastian View, St. Augustine. The Art of Susanne Schuenke exhibit tours 3-4 p.m. Aug. 16 & 30; susanneschuenke.com. SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY Bank of America Tower, 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 150, 438-4358, southlightgallery.com. 2017 Summer Wall, works by Jerry Uelsmann, Robert Leedy, Tony Wood, Thomas Hager, Doug Eng, Paul Ladnier, Paul Karabinis and Jim Draper, runs through Sept. 6. UNF Summer Show runs through August.

EVENTS RON WHITTINGTON BOOK SIGNINGS Local author Whittington reads from and signs copies of the third Parker Glynn thriller, Free Surface Effect, 5-7 p.m. Aug. 18 at Monkey’s Uncle Tavern, 1728 N. Third St., Jax Beach, 246-1070 and 4-6 p.m. Aug. 25 at American Legion Post 129, 1151 S. Fourth St.; proceeds benefit the legion’s building fund. He’s also on hand 5-8 p.m. Sept. 6 at Chamblin’s Uptown Café, 215 N. Laura St., Downtown, for First Wednesday Art Walk. WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO BEVERLY JUNE? Writer Tim Gilmore discusses the story of Beverly June Cochran, who disappeared from her home in 1960, 7 p.m. Aug. 16 at Chamblin’s Uptown, 215 N. Laura St., Downtown, free, jaxpsychogeo.com. TEDX JACKSONVILLE SALON DISCUSSION Hidden No More, a discussion of immigrants’ contributions to the Jacksonville community, is 2-4 p.m. Aug. 19 at Hendricks Avenue Baptist Church, 4001 Hendricks Ave., $12, eventbrite.com. FIRST COAST FREETHOUGHT SOCIETY Gary A. Stilwell, PhD, discusses Storms of My Grandchildren, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Aug. 21 at Buckman Bridge Unitarian Church, 8447 Manresa Ave., Orange Park, 268-8826, firstcoastfreethoughtsociety.org. UNF SOLAR ECLIPSE PARTY The UNF Physics Department, Student Union and Campus Life host an eclipse viewing party, 1:30-3:30 p.m. Aug. 21 at Coxwell Amphitheater, Bldg. 58, Southside, free; parking $2. SOLAR ECLIPSE VIEWING CELEBRATION St. Johns County and NASA @ My Library host a free viewing celebration 1-4 p.m. Aug. 21 at Collier-Blocker-Puryear Park, 10 N. Holmes Blvd., West St. Augustine. Bring something to sit on and view the first coast-to-coast eclipse in more than 100 years. Safety glasses, solar-filtered telescopes and binoculars provided. Details at 827-6944, co.st-johns.fl.us/Recreation/CC/CBPpark.aspx. FLORIDA HERITAGE BOOK FESTIVAL Showcasing Florida’s literary legacy, the festival is 8:30 a.m.-5 p.m. Aug. 23 at Flagler College’s Ringhaver Student Center, 50 Sevilla St., St. Augustine; free, fhbookfest.com. BODY POSITIVITY Let’s talk about sex–the kind that encourages radical acceptance, body positivity, and inclusivity–with Professor Sex, 2-4 p.m. Aug. 20 at Coniferous Café, 42 W. Monroe St., Downtown, $5-$10 donation. CLAY COUNTY SENIOR EXPO Health screenings, entertainment and information stage, 60-plus vendors at the free event, 9 a.m. Aug. 16 at Thrasher-Horne Center, 283 College Dr., Orange Park, thcenter.org. JUMBO SHRIMP VS. BIRMINGHAM BARONS Our hometown heroes bravely begin another homestand, this time against the Birmingham Barons at 7:05 p.m. Aug. 21 (Charity Begins at Home,) Aug. 22 (Irish Heritage Night), Aug. 23 (Date Night, Military Appreciation Night), Aug. 24 (Mavericks Live Thirsty Thursday, Clay County Night), Aug. 25 (Red Shirt, Fireworks), all at Bragan Field, Baseball Grounds, Downtown, single game tix start at $5 (check website), 358-2846, jaxshrimp.com. Next up: Pensacola Blue Wahoos.

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To list an event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price, contact number to print to Madeleine Peck Wagner; email madeleine@folioweekly.com or mail 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Items run as space is available. Deadline noon Wed. for next Wed. printing.

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connections cultivated over a decade on tour n a world teetering increasingly closer to and somehow found another van, making the edge, music that cuts close to the bone it that night to Sacramento without having feels a little more necessary each day. And to miss a single show. “We didn’t have to though you won’t find any heartfelt emotion cancel anything,” Classic laughed, “so we got or incisive political commentary in the selfthat going for us at least. It did take a lot of described gutterbilly/gypsy punk/hobocore extra driving and extra money to get back on mashup perfected by The Goddamn Gallows, track, though.” you will discover an outpouring of manic That track right now leads through the energy perfectly suited for counteracting the studio for the first time in three years, since dark days in which we live. 2014’s The Maker came out on Farmageddon This tattooed take-no-prisoners fiveRecords. Classic says the band just finished piece originally coalesced in Michigan recording sessions and should have another as a straight-up psychobilly band—that’s album finished before a horror-obsessed, 2017 slams shut. “We amped-up version of made a conscious effort rockabilly, for you new to play some of the new initiates. But soon they songs live just to tighten started drifting west to the nuts and bolts and the dive bars, squatters’ see how the crowd camps, railroad yards reacted,” he said. “Once and dingy warehouses we got ’em tight and in and around Portland, got the energy where it Oregon and Los Angeles, needed to be, then we where the current lineup were ready to go and of Joe Perreze, Mikey record a new album.” Classic, Fishgutzzz, Baby Classic says The Genius and TV’s Avery Goddamn Gallows’ most coalesced and came into recent material updates its own. The Goddamn the usual old-timey Gallows have recorded bluegrass-spiked-withand released four fullpsychobilly formula by length albums in the last mixing in elements of 10 years, but it’s on stage THE GODDAMN GALLOWS, stoner metal, a potent where they thrive, defiling MUDTOWN, CAIN’T NEVER COULD 8 p.m. Aug. 20, Nighthawks, concoction that will their unique banjo, 2952 Roosevelt Blvd., Riverside, $10-$12 certainly go down upright bass, guitar, drum, well here in Northeast accordion and washboard Florida. And while the band’s fervent fanbase instrumental setup to produce some of the continues to grow, finding a commercial most unholy punk-meets-country sounds home for such frenetic music hasn’t gotten ever performed. any easier. “We’re actually looking into a few “We let it loose on the good people and different labels right now, so who knows what the bad people in the crowd, too,” Mikey will happen?” Classic said. “All I know is, ain’t Classic told Folio Weekly as he drove nobody gonna tell us what to do.” California’s Imperial Valley. “We’ve been Asked if The Goddamn Gallows fit any playing together for ages, and the sound of specific scene or subculture, Classic cites the band itself has changed drastically over The Reverend Horton Heat as an influence the years. But we’re still grown-ass men doing and big-ups the many smaller folk-punk what we want and, luckily, people appreciate bands that have sprouted up around them that. The crowds are slowly growing in recent years. As for the opinions of everywhere we go, which might mean that bluegrass traditionalists or cranky old-timey we’re doing something right—or that we’re aficionados, Classic lets out a knowing doing something wrong and people are chuckle. “We just do what we want,” he said. starting to like it.” “I amplify my banjo with a dual pancake Demonstrating their intense work ethic and love for the road, The Goddamn Gallows pickup system, but I also stuff it with T-shirts suffered a van breakdown at the start of to reduce feedback. Then I turn it up fucking their recent run that would’ve made lesser loud so we can thrash. That’s what The Goddamn Gallows do best: Play loud as hell.” bands give up and crawl home. But not these Nick McGregor hell-raising gentlemen—hard up in Yuma, mail@folioweekly.com they called upon their nationwide network of

TURN

IT UP Gutterbilly, gypsy punk, hobocore? The Goddamn Gallows give it their loud, HELL-RAISING ALL

26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 16-22, 2017


Experience the smooth sounds of singer Rob Thomas and MATCHBOX 20 (pictured) as they join COUNTING CROWS for a megawatt show Saturday, Aug. 19 at Daily’s Place Downtown.

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK LIL YACHTY 7 p.m. Aug. 16, Mavericks Live, The Landing, Downtown, 356-1110, $29.50-$131. VATICAN, BREAKING WHEEL, MOMENTUM 6 p.m. Aug. 16, Nighthawks, 2952 Roosevelt Blvd., Riverside, $8 advance, $10 door. THE FUTURE HNDRXX TOUR 7:30 p.m. Aug. 16, Daily’s Place, Downtown, $55-$361. FRATELLO 9:30 p.m. Aug. 16, Cheers Park Avenue, 1138 Park Ave., Orange Park, 269-4855, $3. PANS PERMIA, RISHAVAH, DOWN 8 p.m. Aug. 16, 1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St., Downtown, $8 advance, $10 day of. JOHNNY DIAZ, UNSPOKEN, WILLY RAMOS 7 p.m. Aug. 17, Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $15-$29. RAMIREZ, GERM, SHAKEWELL, MIKEY the MAGICIAN 7 p.m. Aug. 17, 1904 Music Hall, $25-$50. JASON ALDEAN, CHRIS YOUNG, KANE BROWN, DEEJAY SILVER 7:30 p.m. Aug. 17, Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., Downtown, $30-$251. GOODNIGHT IRENE, DEFY the TIDE 7 p.m. Aug. 17, Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $8. The FIREWATER TENT REVIVAL 9:30 p.m. Aug. 17, Cheers Park Avenue, $3. ANTONE LaPLUME BAND, CUSTARD PIE 10 p.m. Aug. 18, The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 264-0611, $3. ALBERT CASTIGLIA 10 p.m. Aug. 18, Mojo Kitchen, 1500 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 247-6636, $15. DOG APOLLO, WINTER WAVE, SKY VIEW, OUTEREDGE 8 p.m. Aug. 18, Jack Rabbits, $5. JIMI MEETS FUNK—ROOSEVELT COLLIER TRIO (Jimi Hendrix Tribute), STOOP KIDS 9 p.m. Aug. 18, 1904 Music Hall, $15. The WOBBLY TOMS 8 p.m. Aug. 18, Sarbez, 115 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 342-0632, $5. OZONE BABY 10 p.m. Aug. 18 & 19, Cheers Park Avenue, $2. THOMAS WYNN & the BELIEVERS, CHAD JASMINE’S BATH PARTY 8 p.m. Aug. 19, Jack Rabbits, $10. UNDERHILL ROSE 7:30 p.m. Aug. 19, Mudville Music Room. MATCHBOX TWENTY, COUNTING CROWS 6:45 p.m. Aug. 19, Daily’s Place, dailysplace.com, $79-$346. WHO’S BAD: The Ultimate Michael Jackson Tribute 8 p.m. Aug. 19, Florida Theatre, $39-$50. The BLACK CREEK BASTARDS Album Release: The FIREWATER TENT REVIVAL, N.W. IZZARD, ZEB PADGETT 7 p.m. Aug. 19, 1904 Music Hall, $12 advance, $15 day of. MADI CARR, UNDERHILL ROSE, JERRY MANISCALCO 10:30 a.m. Aug. 19, Riverside Arts Market, 715 Riverside Ave., free, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com.

ANDREW DICE CLAY 7:30 p.m. Aug. 20, Florida Theatre, $39.50-$75. The GODDAMN GALLOWS, MUDTOWN, CAIN’T NEVER COULD 8 p.m. Aug. 20, Nighthawks, $10 advance, $12 day of. AUTHORITY ZERO & the SUPERVILLIANS, BIGFOOT BAREFOOT, The ATTACK 7 p.m. Aug. 20, Jack Rabbits, $20. PIECE OF MIND, UPRIGHT, VITALITY TRIAL 6 p.m. Aug. 21, Rain Dogs, 1045 Park Ave., Riverside, $10. MARY J. BLIGE 8 p.m. Aug. 23, Daily’s Place, $44-$320. Superjefe Tour: KAP G & J.R. DONATO 8 p.m. Aug. 23, 1904 Music Hall, $15. PETER WHITE, EUGE GROOVE 6:30 p.m. Aug. 23, Ponte Vedra Music Hall, 1050 A1A N., 209-0399, $53-$73. BLISTUR 9:30 p.m. Aug. 23, Cheers Park Avenue, $3. PUNK ROCK KARAOKE 9 p.m. Aug. 23, Nighthawks. Blues, Brews & BBQ Benefit: SMOKESTACK, THE SNACKS BLUES BAND 5:30 p.m. Aug. 24, Florida Theatre, $50-$100. SECOND SHOT BAND 9:30 p.m. Aug. 24, Cheers Park Avenue. DEAN FORD & the BEAUTIFUL ONES, NICKFRESH 8 p.m. Aug. 24, 1904 Music Hall, $10-$15.

UPCOMING CONCERTS VEIN, SANCTION, BURIED DREAMS Aug. 25, Rain Dogs MIKE SHACKELFORD BAND Aug. 25, Mudville Music Room LONELY HIGHWAY Aug. 25, Jax Landing MONSTERS of MOCK Aug. 25, Mavericks Live JO KOY Aug. 25, Florida Theatre COMMUNITY CENTER, RUFFIANS, GOV CLUB Aug. 25, Nighthawks FALLEN EMPIRE Aug. 25 & 26, Cheers Park Avenue St. Johns Riverkeeper River Ruckus: MERE WOODARD, EDDIE COTTON & the UNCANNY VALLEY BOYS, POPP OVER AMERICA Aug. 26, Riverside Arts Market MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM ANNIVERSARY Aug. 25, Mudville Music Room BLAIR HANKS Aug. 26, Jack Rabbits AUSTIN PARK Aug. 26, Jax Landing WEST KING STRING BAND, FAT POSSUM OVERDRIVE Aug. 27, 1904 Music Hall LEE HUNTER, JOEY KERR Aug. 27, Music in the Box, Limelight Theatre LIFEHOUSE, SWITCHFOOT Aug. 27, Daily’s Place MORTALITY RATE, PROWL, JUSTICE TACKLE Aug. 27, Rain Dogs THE YOUNG STEP, COMMUNITY CENTER, CALCIVER Aug. 27, SARBEZ 418 BAND Aug. 27, Jax Landing DONAVON FRANKENREITER, MATT GRUNDY & BRENT BYRD Aug. 29, Jack Rabbits JULIA GULIA Aug. 30, Cheers Park Avenue FORTUNATE YOUTH, JAHMEN Aug. 30, Jack Rabbits

TOWN MOUNTAIN, REMEDY TREE Aug. 31, Jack Rabbits GOO GOO DOLLS, PHILLIP PHILLIPS Sept. 2, Daily’s Place STRANGERWOLF, GABE DARLING, ALLIE & the KATS Sept. 2, Riverside Arts Market CATFISH & the BOTTLEMEN Sept. 4, Mavericks Live PARAMORE Sept. 6, T-U Center MODEST MOUSE Sept. 7, St. Augustine Amphitheatre APOCALYPTICA Plays Metallica by Four Cellos Sept. 7, Florida Theatre BLACKBERRY SMOKE, The CHRIS ROBINSON BROTHERHOOD Sept. 8, St. Augustine Amphitheatre THE FRITZ: NATURAL MIND Album Release Party Sept. 8, 1904 Music Hall Sing Out Loud Festival: DOUG CARN, WILLIE GREEN, DAVE DONDERO, BEARS & LIONS, JOEY HARKUM, STEVE EARLE, LAKE STREET DIVE, WOLF PARADE, DIRTY DOZEN BRASS BAND, LOS LOBOS, LUCERO, DEER TICK, LANGHORNE SLIM, LYDIA LOVELESS, COLTON MCKENNA, tons of others Sept. 8-10, 15-17 & 22-24, St. Augustine venues BRYAN ADAMS Sept. 9, Daily’s Place DARK TRANQUILITY, WARBRINGER, STRIKER Sept. 9, 1904 Music Hall A NICE PAIR, CYRUS QARANTA, ARVID SMITH, LINDA GRENVILLE Sept. 9, Riverside Arts Market ADAM ANT Sept. 10, Florida Theatre MARSHALL TUCKER BAND Sept. 14, Florida Theatre WIDESPREAD PANIC Sept. 15-17, St. Augustine Amphitheatre TIM McGRAW & FAITH HILL Sept. 16, Veterans Memorial Arena JESSE MONTOYA, MARK WILLIAMS & BLUE HORSE, DONNA FROST Sept. 16, Riverside Arts Market MISS MAY I, ICE NINE KILLS, CAPSIZE, LORNA SHORE Sept. 15, 1904 Music Hall RAUL MIDON Sept. 16, Ritz Theatre ZOOGMA Sept. 16, 1904 Music Hall SAMMY HAGAR & the CIRCLE (Michael Anthony, Jason Bonham, Vic Johnson), COLLECTIVE SOUL Sept. 20, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ZAC BROWN BAND Sept. 21, Daily’s Place UB40 LEGENDS ALI, ASTRO & MICKEY Sept. 21, St. Augustine Amphitheatre YOUNG the GIANT, COLD WAR KIDS, JOYWAVE Sept. 22, Daily’s Place SELWYN BIRCHWOOD Sept. 22, Mojo Kitchen BROADWAY BOYS Sept. 22, Ritz Theatre LAURYN HILL, NAS, CHRONIXX Sept. 23, Daily’s Place Festival of Flight Angels for Allison: KIM RETEGUIZ, COURTNIE FRAZIER Sept. 23, Riverside Arts Market The PSYCHEDELIC FURS, BASH & POP, TOMMY STINSON Sept. 23, P.V.C. Hall

AUGUST 16-22, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27


LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC Nationally-recognized, up-and-coming blues singer-songwriter ALBERT CASTIGLIA stops by Mojo Kitchen in Jax Beach on Friday, Aug. 18.

28 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 16-22, 2017

JARROD LAWSON Sept. 23, Ritz Theatre THE GRASS IS DEAD Sept. 23, 1904 Music Hall ANCIENT CITY SLICKERS Sept. 24, Music in the Box, Limelight Theatre BRIAN REGAN Sept. 24, Florida Theatre KATIE THIROUIX Sept. 24, Ritz Theatre APPALACHIAN DEATH TRAP, GHOSTWITCH Sept. 25, The Roadhouse FLAG ON FIRE, HUNTING WITH DICK CHENEY, NOT YOUR HERO Sept. 26, The Roadhouse MORGAN JAMES Sept. 26, P.V.C. Hall TERRI CLARK Sept. 27, P.V.C. Hall DARYL HALL & JOHN OATES, ST. PAUL & the BROKEN BONES Sept. 28, Veterans Memorial Arena ALISON KRAUSS, DAVID GRAY Sept. 28, St. Augustine Amphitheatre GHOST MICE & LYCKA TILL Sept. 28, Rain Dogs STEVE FORBERT Sept. 30, Mudville Music Room BILLY & BELLA, MIKE SHACKELFORD BAND, SCOTT JONES DANCERS Sept. 30, Riverside Arts Market TROMBONE SHORTY & ORLEANS AVENUE Oct. 1, P.V.C. Hall JOSEPH, LIZA ANNE Oct. 2, P.V.C. Hall JACK JOHNSON, BAHAMAS Oct. 2 & 3, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JESSE COOK Oct. 3, Florida Theatre HARD WORKING AMERICANS, LOS COLOGNES Oct. 4, P.V.C. Hall SEU JORGE presents The Life Aquatic: A Tribute to David Bowie Oct. 5, Florida Theatre ELEPHANT REVIVAL Oct. 5, P.V.C. Hall DELBERT McCLINTON & SELFMADE MEN Oct. 6, P.V.C. Hall FLORIDA OKTOBERFEST & MUSIC FESTIVAL Oct. 6, 7 and 8, Metro Park SOUND TRIBE SECTOR (STS9), JADE CICADA, SUNSQUABI Oct. 7, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JUDAH & the LION Oct. 10, Mavericks Live CHRIS ISAAK Oct. 10, Florida Theatre The Smooth Tour: FLORIDA GEORGIA LINE, NELLY, CHRIS LANE Oct. 12, Veterans Memorial Arena Suwannee Roots Revival: BÉLA FLECK, ABIGAIL WASHBURN, STEEP CANYON RANGERS, The WOOD BROTHERS, DONNA the BUFFALO Oct. 12-15, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park DAVINA SOWERS & the VEGABONDS Oct. 12, Ritz Theatre LYNYRD SKYNYRD, The OUTLAWS Oct. 13, St. Augustine Amphitheatre The JAMES HUNTER SIX Oct. 16, P.V.C. Hall CONOR OBERST, The FELICE BROTHERS Oct. 17, P.V.C. Hall Once a Month Punk: SCATTER BRAINS, LOOSE BEARINGS Oct. 19, Blue Water Daiquiri & Oyster Bar The CALIFORNIA HONEYDROPS Oct. 19, P.V.C. Hall TEMPTATIONS, FOUR TOPS Oct. 20, Florida Theatre Broken Crows Tour: MATISYAHU, COMMON KINGS, ORPHAN Oct. 20, P.V.C. Hall SPOON Oct. 21, Mavericks Live The AVETT BROTHERS Oct. 21, St. Augustine Amphitheatre LORDS of ACID Oct. 22, Mavericks Live SANTANA Oct. 24, Daily’s Place KINGS of LEON, DAWES Oct. 25, Daily’s Place BROADWAY’S NEXT HIT MUSICAL Oct. 25, Ritz Theatre ANDY MINEO Oct. 26, Mavericks Live MERCYME Oct. 26, T-U Center TOAD the WET SPROCKET Oct. 27, P.V.C. Hall

The MAGPIE SALUTE Oct. 29, Florida Theatre MICHAEL LAGASSE & FRIENDS Oct. 29, Music in the Box, Limelight Theatre JOHNNYSWIM Nov. 1, P.V.C. Hall GARY OWEN Nov. 3, Florida Theatre JOHN CLEESE (screens Monty Python & the Holy Grail) Nov. 4, Florida Theatre SISTER HAZEL Nov. 4, P.V.C. Hall JETHRO TULL Nov. 7, Daily’s Place NOBUTU Nov. 7, Ritz Theatre CHRIS SMITHER Nov. 10, Mudville Music Room BEN FOLDS Nov. 10, Florida Theatre CHRIS STAPLETON’S All American Road Show: MARTY STUART, BRENT COBB Nov. 11, Veterans Memorial Arena OTTMAR LIEBERT, LUNA NEGRA Nov. 12, P.V.C. Hall SON VOLT Nov. 17, St. Aug. Amp’s Backyard Stage MIKE EPPS Nov. 17, Florida Theatre MILES ELECTRIC BAND Nov. 18, P.V.C. Hall CELTIC THUNDER SYMPHONY 2017 Nov. 18, Florida Theatre JOHN McLAUGHLIN, JIMMY HERRING (play Mahavisnu Orchestra) Nov. 24, Florida Theatre DAVE KOZ, PETER WHITE, RICK BRAUN, DAVID BENOIT, SELINA ALBRIGHT Nov. 25, Florida Theatre LINDA COLE & JAZZ MUSICIANS Nov. 26, Music in the Box, Limelight Theatre The BRIAN SETZER ORCHESTRA Nov. 29, Florida Theatre KANSAS LEFTOVERTURE 40TH Anniversary Dec. 2, Florida Theatre D.R.I., KAUTSIK Dec. 6, Nighthawks GRANGER SMITH, LAUREN ALAINA, MIDLAND, DYLAN SCOTT Dec. 7, T-U Center Moran Theater JANET JACKSON Dec. 12, Veterans Memorial Arena JOHN PRINE Dec. 13, Florida Theatre BEN HAGGARD Dec. 13, P.V.C. Hall HARLEY FLANAGAN (Cro-Mags) Dec. 17, Nighthawks GABRIEL IGLESIAS Dec. 21, Florida Theatre DONNA the BUFFALO Dec. 29, P.V.C. Hall JIM GAFFIGAN Dec. 30, Veterans Memorial Arena The ZOMBIES: Odessey and Oracle 50th Anniversary Jan. 12, P.V.C. Hall A TEMPTATIONS REVUE, BO HENDERSON Jan. 13, Ritz Theatre Take Me to the River: WILLIAM BELL, BOBBY RUSH, DON BRYANT Jan. 30, Florida Theatre MARY WILSON (The Supremes) Feb. 3, Ritz Theatre JOHN McCUTCHEON Feb. 8, P.V.C. Hall The LANGSTON HUGHES PROJECT Feb. 10, Ritz Theatre The HOT SARDINES Feb. 13, Florida Theatre PAULA POUNDSTONE Feb. 16, Florida Theatre BOTTLE ROCKETS, CHUCK PROPHET & the MISSION EXPRESS Feb. 16, P.V.C. Hall SIERRA HULL Feb. 17, P.V.C. Hall GEORGE WINSTON Feb. 23, P.V.C. Hall MICHAEL McDONALD Feb. 27, Florida Theatre JOHN HAMMOND March 3, P.V.C. Hall TIERNEY SUTTON BAND March 4, Ritz Theatre GET the LED OUT March 16, Florida Theatre MIKE + the MECHANICS March 21, P.V.C. Hall STEEP CANYON RANGERS March 22, Florida Theatre LOUDON WAINWRIGHT III March 30, P.V.C. Hall CHRIS BOTTI April 13, Florida Theatre BRUCE COCKBURN April 19, P.V.C. Hall BLACK JACKET SYMPHONY: Sgt. Pepper’s 50th Anniversary Tour April 27, Florida Theatre ROCK the ’70s GALA BENEFIT May 19, Florida Theatre

LIVE MUSIC CLUBS

AMELIA ISLAND + FERNANDINA

ALLEY CAT BEER HOUSE, 316 Centre St., 491-1001 Amy Bassett every Fri. Dan Voll 6:30 p.m. every Wed. John Springer every Thur. & Sat. EMERALD GOAT IRISH PUB, 96110 Lofton Sq., 441-2444 Chuck Nash 9 p.m. Aug. 19 LA MANCHA, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646 Miguel Paley 5:30-9 p.m. every Fri.-Sun. Javier Parez every Sun. THE SALTY PELICAN, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811 Dan Voll & Michelle 4:30 p.m. Aug. 20 SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., \277-6652 Pili Pili Aug. 16. Tad Jennings Aug. 17. Melissa Smith 7 Street band Aug. 18. Jamie Renae, Davis Turner Aug. 19. JC & Miki, Jamie Renae Aug. 20. Savannah Bassett Aug. 21. Mark O’Quinn Aug. 22 SURF RESTAURANT, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Katfish Lee Aug. 16. Whiskey Heart 6 p.m. Aug. 19. Jimmy Beats 6 p.m. Aug. 20. Dan Voll Aug. 21

AVONDALE + ORTEGA

CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. Jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free 9 p.m. Tue. & Thur. Indie dance 9 p.m. Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance Fri. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200 Live music every Thur.-Sat.

THE BEACHES (All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted)

BLUE WATER DAIQUIRI & OYSTER BAR, 205 First St. N., 249-0083 Live music most weekends BRASS ANCHOR PUB, 2292 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0301 Joe Oliff 8 p.m. Aug. 16. Live music on weekends BRIX TAPHOUSE, 300 N. Second St., 241-4668 Clay Brewer Aug. 18 CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 249-9595 DJ Heather every Wed. DJ Jerry every Thur. DJ Hal every Fri. & Sat. Michael Funge 6:30 p.m. every Sun. FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & TEQUILA BAR, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680 3 the Band 9 p.m. Aug. 17. Evan Michael & the Well Wishers 10 p.m. Aug. 18 & 19. Darren Corlew 8:30 p.m. Aug. 20. Live music every weekend FLY’S TIE IRISH PUB, 177 Sailfish Dr., AB, 246-4293 Live music on weekends GREEN ROOM BREWING, 228 Third St. N., 201-9283 DiCarlo Thompson 9 p.m. Aug. 19 GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925 Groov 7:30 p.m. every Wed. Michael Smith every Thur. Milton Clapp every Fri. Under the Bus every Sat. Robert Eccles 6 p.m. every Sun. HARBOR TAVERN, 160 Mayport Rd., AB, 246-2555 Live music every weekend LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 First St. N., 249-5181 Yamadeo 10 p.m. Aug. 18. Roger That 10 p.m. Aug. 19. Split Tone every Thur. Chillula every Sun. K-Sick every Mon. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 Third St. N., 241-5600 Root of All 9 p.m. Aug. 17 MEZZA RESTAURANT & BAR, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573 Gypsies Ginger every Wed. Mike Shackelford, Steve Shanholtzer every Thur. Mezza Shuffle Mon. Trevor Tanner Tue. MOJO KITCHEN, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636 Albert Castiglia 10 p.m. Aug. 18 MONKEY’S UNCLE, 1728 N. Third St., 246-1070 Live music every weekend OCEAN 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., AB, 247-0060 Taylor Roberts 7 p.m. Aug. 16


LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877 Billy Bowers 7 p.m. Aug. 16. Live music every Wed.-Sun. SLIDERS SEAFOOD GRILLE, 218 First St., NB, 246-0881 Jerry Maniscalco 8 p.m. Aug. 18 SOUTHERN GROUNDS & CO., 200 First St., NB, 249-2922 Eric Alabiso Aug. 16. Brenna Erickson 7 p.m. Aug. 18. Ernie Lombardi 7 p.m. Aug. 19. Jazz Corner 6 p.m. every Tue. SURFER The BAR, 200 First St. N., 372-9756 Ryan Campbell 9 p.m. Aug. 16. Just Chameleons 9 p.m. Aug. 17. Signal Fire 9:30 p.m. Aug. 18. Pili Pili 9:30 p.m. Aug. 19. Rachael Warfield 9 p.m. Aug. 22. Tad Jennings Aug. 23. Live music every weekend WHISKEY JAX, 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy., 853-5973 Go Get Gone Aug. 18. Fat Cactus Aug. 19. Live music every weekend. Blues Club every Tue. ZETA BREWING, 131 First Ave. N., 372-0727 Live music every weekend

CAMDEN COUNTY, GA.

CAPTAIN STAN’S SMOKEHOUSE, 700 Bedell Dr., Woodbine, 912-729-9552 Eddie Pickett every Wed. Live music Wed.-Sat. J’S TAVERN, 711 Osborne St., St. Marys, 912-882-5280 Live music most weekends

DOWNTOWN

1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N., 345-5760 Pans Permia, Rishavah, Down 8 p.m. Aug. 16. Ramirez, Germ, Shakewell, Mikey The Magician 7 p.m. Aug. 17. Jimi Meets Funk—Roosevelt Collier Trio (Jimi Hendrix Tribute), Stoop Kids 9 p.m. Aug. 18. The Black Creek Bastards Album Release: The Firewater Tent Revival, N.W. Izzard, Zeb Padgett 7 p.m. Aug. 19. William LaVant, Da Gift, The Fortune House Aug. 20. Superjefe Tour: Kap G & J.R. Donato 8 p.m. Aug. 23. Dean Ford & The Beautiful Ones, Nickfresh 8 p.m. Aug. 24 DE REAL TING, 128 W. Adams St., 633-9738 Ras AJ, De Lions of Jah 7 p.m. Aug. 18 DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 DJ Brandon every Thur. DJ NickFresh every Sat. DJ Randall every Mon. DJ Hollywood every Tue. FIONN MacCOOL’S, Jacksonville Landing, 374-1247 Spade McQuade 6 p.m. Aug. 16. Chuck Nash 8 p.m. Aug. 18. Live music most weekends HOURGLASS PUB, 345 E. Bay St., 469-1719 Singer/ songwriter open mic 7 p.m. every Sun. Live music 9:30 p.m. every Fri. JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 X-Hale 8 p.m. Aug. 18. Smooth McFlea 8 p.m. Aug. 19. Scholars Word 8 p.m. Aug. 20 MAVERICKS LIVE, Jax Landing, 356-1110 Lil Yatchy 7 p.m. Aug. 16. VillianFest, Erode, lowercase g, Inner Demons, F.I.L.T.H. Aug. 19. Spoon Aug. 20. Joe Buck, DJ Justin every Thur.-Sat. MYTH NIGHTCLUB, 333 E. Bay St., 707-0474 Brainrek, Johnny Oz, Xander, Eric Rush, Romeo, The Conductor Aug. 18. DJ Law, Artik, Killoala, D2tay every Wed. DJs for Latin Nite every Sat.

FLEMING ISLAND

BOONDOCKS GRILL & BAR, 2808 Henley Rd., Green Cove, 406-9497 Mark Johns Aug. 16. Walt Kulwicki Aug. 17. Jim Lamb, Lee Blake Aug. 18. Ivan Smith, Marty & Alex Aug. 19. Redfish Rich 4:30 p.m. Aug. 20. Mark Evans 6 p.m. Aug. 22 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999 Scott Elley 8:30 p.m. Aug. 17. Felix Chang 8:30 p.m. Aug. 19 WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Cindy davenport, Highway Jones 9 p.m. Aug. 18. The Remains 9 p.m. Aug. 19. Live music every weekend

INTRACOASTAL

CLIFF’S Bar & Grill, 3033 Monument Rd., Ste. 2, 645-5162 Julia Gulia Aug. 16. Big Engine 10 p.m. Aug. 18. Vox 10 p.m. Aug. 19. Open mic every Tue. Live music every weekend JERRY’S Sports Bar & Grille, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766 Boogie Freaks 7:30 p.m. Aug. 18. Spectra 8:30 p.m. Aug. 19

MANDARIN

ENZA’S, 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 109, 268-4458 Brian Iannucci Aug. 16 & 20 MONKEY’S UNCLE, 10503 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 15, 260-1349 Smooth McFlea 10 p.m. Aug. 18. TAPS BAR & GRILL, 2220 C.R. 210, St. Johns, 819-1554 Shayne Rammler 9 p.m. Aug. 19. Live music every weekend

ORANGE PARK + MIDDLEBURG

BIG DAWGS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 135, 272-4204 Live music every weekend CHEERS PARK AVENUE, 1138 Park Ave., 269-4855 Fratello 9:30 p.m. Aug. 16. The Firewater Tent Revival Aug. 17. Ozone Baby Aug. 18 & 19. Blistur 9:30 p.m. Aug. 23. Second Shot 9:30 p.m. Aug. 24 DEE’S MUSIC BAR, 2141 Loch Rane Blvd., Ste. 140, 375-2240 Vegas Gray Aug. 19. DJ Toy every Wed. Live music every weekend The HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael on the piano every Tue.-Sat. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999 Live music every Fri. & Sat. The ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 DJ Big Mike Aug. 17. Antone LaPlume Band, Custard Pie 10 p.m. Aug. 18. Appalachian Death Trap, Ghostwitch 10 p.m. Aug. 25

SHARK CLUB, 714 Park Ave., 215-1557 Digital Skyline 9 p.m. Aug. 16. Tom Bennett Band 9 p.m. Aug. 17

OVERSET

PONTE VEDRA

PUSSER’S GRILLE, 816 A1A, 280-7766 Stephen Pigman Aug. 16. Savannah Leigh Bassett Aug. 17. Ryan Campbell 10 p.m. Aug. 18. Live music every Fri. & Sat. TABLE 1, 330 A1A N., 280-5515 Live music every Wed., Thur. & Sat.

RIVERSIDE + WESTSIDE

ACROSS the STREET, 948 Edgewood Ave. S., 683-4182 River City Kats, East Tower, Higher Ground, Snore Aug. 16. Live music most weekends HOBNOB, 220 Riverside Ave., Ste. 10, 513-4272 Live music every Fri. MURRAY HILL Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave., 388-7807 The Remnant, Calvary Chapel West Jax Worship Band Aug. 18 NIGHTHAWKS, 2952 Roosevelt Blvd. Vatican, Breaking Wheel, Momentum 6 p.m. Aug. 16. The Goddamn Gallows, Mudtown, Cain’t Never Could 8 p.m. Aug. 20. Punk Rock Karaoke 9 p.m. Aug. 23 RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969 Piece Of Mind, Upright, Vitality Trial 6 p.m. Aug. 21. RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449 Madi Carr, Underhill Rose, Jerry Maniscalco Aug. 19 SOUTH KITCHEN & SPIRITS, 3638 Park St., 475-2362 Live music most weekends UNITY PLAZA, 220 Riverside Ave., Ste. 10, 513-4272 Live music 7:30 p.m. every Fri.

ST. AUGUSTINE

CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 Vinny Jacobs 2 p.m. Aug. 17 & 20. Caleb Joye, Chillula Aug. 18. T.J. Brown, Ain’t Too Proud to Beg Aug. 19 DOS COFFEE & WINE, 300 San Marco Ave., 342-2421 Live music every weekend MARDI GRAS, 123 San Marco Ave., 823-8806 The Pemberwicks 9 p.m. Aug. 18. Ron Norris Aug. 19. Fre Gordon, acoustic open mic 7 p.m. Sun. Justin Gurnsey, Musicians Exchange 8 p.m. Mon. PROHIBITION KITCHEN, 119 St. George St., 209-5704 Leelyn Osborn, Danielle & The Cookin’ in the Kitchen Band Aug. 16 & 23. Danielle Eva Aug. 17. Those Guys, Funk Butter Aug. 18. Raisin Cake Orchestra, Groove Coalition Aug. 19. The WillowWacks Aug. 20. Ramona Quimby Aug. 21. The Backdoor Stompers Aug. 22. Live music nightly SARBEZ, 115 Anastasia Blvd., 342-0632 The Wobbly Toms 9 p.m. Aug. 18. Live music every weekend TEMPO, 16 Cathedral Pl., 342-0286 Jay Bird 7 p.m. Aug. 17. Integral Latin band 8:30 p.m. Aug. 18. Jazzy Blue, Bluez Dudez Aug. 19. Jax English Salsa Band 6 p.m. Aug. 20 TRADEWINDS LOUNGE, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Spanky Aug. 18 & 19. The Down Low every Wed.

SAN MARCO

JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Goodnight Irene, Defy the Tide 7 p.m. Aug. 17. Dog Apollo, Winter Wave, Sky View, Outeredge 8 p.m. Aug. 18. Thomas Wynn & The Believers, Chad Jasmine’s Bath Party 8 p.m. Aug. 19. Authority Zero & The Supervillians, Bigfoot Barefoot, The Attack 7 p.m. Aug. 20 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 James Hogan, Barry Greene Aug. 17. Underhill Rose 7:30 p.m. Aug. 19

SOUTHSIDE, ARLINGTON & BAYMEADOWS

CORNER BISTRO & WINE BAR, 9823 Tapestry Park Cir., 619-1931 Matthew Hall 8 p.m. every Thur.-Sat. GREEK STREET Café, 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 503-0620 Tavernalive 6 p.m. every Mon. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 997-1955 DiCarlo Thompson 9 p.m. Aug. 17. Kristen Lee Aug. 18. Anton LaPlume Aug. 19 WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., 634-7208 Area 51 9 p.m. Aug. 18. Resonator 9 p.m. Aug. 19. Live music every weekend WILD WING CAFÉ, 4555 Southside Blvd., 619-3670 Live music every weekend

SPRINGFIELD + NORTHSIDE

CROOKED ROOSTER BREWERY, 1478 S. Sixth St., Macclenny, 653-2337 Open mic 7 p.m. every Wed. FLIGHT 747 LOUNGE, 1500 Airport Rd., 741-4331 Live music every weekend KNUCKLEHEADS Bar, 850532 U.S. 17, 222-2380 Live music every weekend MELLOW MUSHROOM, 15170 Max Leggett Pkwy., 757-8843 Live music most every weekend OCEANWAY BAR, 12905 Main St. N., 647-9127 Live music most every weekend SHANTYTOWN PUB, 22 W. Sixth, 798-8222 Live music every weekend

_________________________________________ To list your band’s gig, please send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price, and a contact number to print to Madeleine Peck Wagner, email madeleine@folioweekly.com or by the U.S. Postal Service, 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Events run on a space-available basis. Deadline is at noon every Wednesday for the next Wednesday’s publication.

AUGUST 16-22, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 29


FOLIO DINING Perched beneath the historic St. Augustine lighthouse on Anastasia Island, GYPSY CAB CO. offers legendary eclectic cuisine in a unique setting. photo by Carl Miller

AMELIA ISLAND + FERNANDINA BEACH

BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F On the water at Centre Street’s end. Southern hospitality, upscale atmosphere; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo.com. F In historic building, family-owned café has worldly fare, made-from-scratch dressings, sauces, desserts, sourcing fresh greens, veggies, seafood. Dine in or al fresco under oak-shaded patio. Microbrew Karibrew Pub has beer brewed onsite, imports. $$ FB K TO R, Su; L Daily, D Tu-Su in season THE CRAB TRAP, 31 N. Second St., 261-4749, amelia crabtrap.com. F For nearly 40 years, family-owned-andoperated. Fresh local seafood, steaks, specials. HH. $$ FB L Sa-M; D Nightly JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddianescafe.com. F Renovated 1887 shotgun house. Faves: jambalaya, French toast, pancakes, mac & cheese, crêpes. Vegan items. Inside or porch overlooking historic area. $$ BW K TO B L D M, W, F, Sa; B L Su LA MANCHA, 2709 Sadler Rd., 261-4646, lamancharestaurante.com. Spanish, Portuguese fare, Brazilian flair. Tapas, seafood, steaks, sangria. Drink specials. AYCE paella Sun. $$$ FB K TO D Nightly LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 474272 S.R. 200, 844-2225. F SEE ORANGE PARK. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moon riverpizza.net. F 2016 Best of Jax winner/finalist. Authentic Northern-style pizzas, 20+ toppings, pie/slice. Calzones. $ BW TO L D M-Sa THE MUSTARD SEED CAFÉ, 833 Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Casual organic eatery, juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juices, herbal teas, coffees, daily specials. $$ K TO B L M-Sa THE PATIO PLACE, 416 Ash St., 410-3717, patioplacebistro.com. Bistro/wine bar/crêperie’s global menu uses crêpes: starters, entrées, shareables, desserts. $$ BW TO B L D Tu-Su

DINING DIRECTORY KEY AVERAGE ENTRÉE COST $ $$

$

< $10

$$$

10- $20

$$$$

$

20-$35 > $35

ABBREVIATIONS & SPECIAL NOTES BW = Beer/Wine

L = Lunch

FB = Full Bar

D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted Free Folio Weekly Bite Club Event F = Folio Weekly Distribution Spot

K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch

To list your restaurant, call your account manager or call or text SAM TAYLOR, Folio Weekly publisher, at 904-860-2465 (email: staylor@folioweekly.com). 30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 16-22, 2017

POINTE RESTAURANT, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabethpointelodge.com. 2016 Best of Jax winner. In award-winning inn Elizabeth Pointe Lodge. Seaside dining; in or out. Hot buffet breakfast daily, full lunch menu. Homestyle soups, specialty sandwiches, desserts. $$$ BW K B L D Daily THE SALTY PELICAN BAR & GRILL, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F 2016 Best of Jax winner/finalist. 2nd-story outdoor bar. T.J. & Al offer local seafood, fish tacos, Mayport shrimp, po’boys, cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F 2016 Best of Jax winner/finalist. Oceanfront. Award-winning handmade crabcakes, fried pickles, fresh seafood. Open-air 2nd floor balcony, playground. $$ FB K L D Daily THE SURF RESTAURANT & BAR, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711, thesurfonline.com. Oceanview dining since 1957, inside or on the deck. Steaks, seafood, burgers, daily food and drink specials; Wing It Wednesdays. $$ FB K TO L D Daily T-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. Eighth St., 261-6310, traysburgerstation.com. F 2016 Best of Jax finalist. Family-owned-and-operated 18+ years. Blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L M-Sa

ARLINGTON + REGENCY

LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1301 Monument Rd., Ste. 5, 724-5802. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

AVONDALE + ORTEGA

FOOD ADDICTZ GRILL, 1044 Edgewood Ave. S., 240-1987. The family-and-veteran-owned restaurant is all about home cooking. Customer favorites include barbecued pulled pork, blackened chicken, Caesar wrap and the Portobello mushroom burger. $ K TO B L D Tu-Su HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, harpoonlouies.net. F 2016 Best of Jax finalist. Locally owned & operated 20+ years. American pub. 1/2-lb. burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta. Local beers, HH. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MOJO NO. 4 URBAN BBQ & WHISKEY BAR, 3572 St. Johns Ave., Ste. 1, 381-6670, mojobbq.com. 2016 Best of Jax winner. Pulled pork and Carolina-style barbecue. Delta fried catfish. Avondale’s Mojo has shrimp & grits, specialty cocktails. Local musicians on weekends. $$ FB K TO L D Daily PINEGROVE MARKET & DELI, 1511 PineGrove Ave., 389-8655, pinegrovemarket.com. F 2016 Best of Jax winner. 40+ years. Burgers, Cubans, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher, USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. Fri. & Sat. fish fry. $ BW TO B L D M-Sa RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaurantorsay.com. 2016 Best of Jax winner/finalist. French/Southern bistro; local organic ingredients. Steak frites, mussels, pork chops. $$$ FB R, Su; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simplysaras.net. F Down-home fare from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Tu-Sa, B Sa SOUTH KITCHEN & SPIRITS, 3638 Park St., 475-2362, south.kitchen. Southern classics: crispy catfish with smoked gouda grits, family-style fried chicken, burgers, vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free options. $$ FB K TO L D Daily

BAYMEADOWS

AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F 2016 Best of Jax winner/finalist. SEE INTRACOASTAL. INDIA’S, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajaxcom. F 2016 Best of Jax winner. Authentic cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetables, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L M-Sa; D Nightly LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F SEE ORANGE PARK.


DINING DIRECTORY

BEACHES

(Venues are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.) 1st STREET LOFT, 502 N. First St., 241-7848, 1ststreetloft. com. This new beach spot serves breakfast and lunch all day. Local artists’ works are displayed. It’s a coffeehouse and live music venue, too. $ TO B L D W-Sa; B L Su & M ANGIE’S SUBS, 1436 Beach Blvd., 246-2519. ANGIE’S GROM SUBS, 204 Third Ave. S., 241-3663. F 2016 Best of Jax finalist. Fresh ingredients, 25+ years. Huge salads, blue-ribbon iced tea. Grom has Sun. brunch, no alcohol. $ K BW TO L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 2400 S. Third St., Ste. 201, 374-5735. 2016 Best of Jax winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. The CRAFT PIZZA CO., 240 Third St. N., Neptune Beach, 853-6773, thecraftpizzaco.com. F Al Mansur’s new place has innovative pies made with locally sourced ingredients. Dine inside or out. $$ BW L D Daily CRUISERS GRILL, 319 23rd Ave. S., 270-0356, cruisersgrill.com. 2016 Best of Jax winner. Locally owned & operated 20+ years. Half-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, big salads, award-winning cheddar fries, sangria. $ BW K TO L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001, europeanstreet.com. F 2016 Best of Jax finalist. SEE RIVERSIDE.

GRILL ME!

FLEMING ISLAND

GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 1915 East-West Pkwy., 541-0009. F SEE RIVERSIDE. MOJO SMOKEHOUSE, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. 2016 Best of Jax winner. SEE AVONDALE. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteysfishcamp.com. F 2016 Best of Jax finalist. Real fish camp. Gator tail, freshwater catfish, daily specials, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar. Come by boat, bike or car. $ FB K TO L Tu-Su; D Nightly

Pointe Restaurant

98 S. Fletcher Ave. • Fernandina Beach Born in: Fernandina Beach Years in Biz: 30 Favorite Restaurant: Ruth's Chris Steak House (Jax) Favorite Cuisine Style: Anything homemade–steak, ribs, etc. Go-To Ingredients: Thyme, seasonal salt & pepper, tabasco Ideal Meal: Smoked chicken & ribs, my brother Vic's low country boil (The best!) Will Not Cross My Lips: Octopus salad Insider's Secret: Cannot tell … it's a secret! Culinary Treat: Big, fat, juicy ribeye from Ruth's Chris

CAMDEN COUNTY, GEORGIA

CAPTAIN STAN’S SMOKEHOUSE, 700 Bedell Dr., Woodbine, 912-729-9552. Barbecue, sides, hot dogs, burgers, desserts. Dine in or out on picnic tables. $$ FB K TO L & D Tu-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 6586 GA. Hwy. 40 B6, St. Marys, 912-576-7006. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

The Earl of Sandwich has CROWNED a successor

DOWNTOWN

BELLWETHER, 100 N. Laura St., 802-7745, bellwetherjax. com. Elevated Southern classics in an understated setting, with chef/owner Jon Insetta’s focus on flavors, and chef Kerri Rogers’ culinary creativity. The Northeast Florida menu changes seasonally. Rotating local craft beers, regional spirits, cold brew coffee program. $$ FB TO L M-F CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth, 356-8282, casadoraitalian. com. F Serving Italian fare, 40+ years: veal, seafood, pizza. Homemade salad dressing. $ BW K L M-F; D M-Sa OLIO MARKET, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com. F Scratch soups, sandwiches. Duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L M-F; D F & Sa SPLIFF’S GASTROPUB, 15 N. Ocean St., 844-5000, spliffsgastropub.com. 2016 Best of Jax winner. Music venue has munchie apps, mac & cheese dishes, pockets, gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches. HH M-F. $ BW L D M-Sa URBAN GRIND COFFEE COMPANY, 45 W. Bay, Ste. 102, 516-7799, urbangrind.coffee. Locally roasted whole bean brewed coffees, espressos, pastries, smoothies, bagels. Chicken/tuna salad, sandwiches. WiFi. $ B L M-F URBAN GRIND Express, 50 W. Laura, 516-7799. SEE ABOVE. ZODIAC BAR & GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283, thezodiacbarandgrill.com. 16+ years. Mediterranean cuisine, American fare, paninis, vegetarian dishes. Lunch buffet. Espressos, hookahs. HH M-F. $ FB L M-F; D W-Sa

RUDOLPH SMITH

FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & TEQUILA BAR, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680, flyingiguana.com. F 2016 Best of Jax finalist. Latin American: tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana fare. 100+ tequilas. $ FB TO L D Daily GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925, gustojax.com. 2016 Best of Jax finalist. Classic Old World Roman fare, big Italian menu: homestyle pasta, beef, chicken, fish delicacies; open pizza-tossing kitchen. Reservations encouraged. $$ FB TO L R D Tu-Su HAWKERS ASIAN STREET FARE, 241 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 425-1025. 2016 Best of Jax winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 657 Third St. N., 247-9620. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 1534 3rd St. N., 853-6817. F 2016 Best of Jax winner/finalist. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT & BLUES BAR, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636. SEE AVONDALE. M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-2599, shackburgers.com. 2016 Best of Jax finalist. Burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes. Dine indoors or out. $$ BW L D Daily NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 1585 N. Third St., 458-1390. 2016 Best of Jax winner. SEE MANDARIN. RAGTIME TAVERN SEAFOOD & GRILL, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F 34 years and counting, the iconic seafood place serves blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily HH, brunch Sun. $$ FB L D Daily WHISKEY JAX, 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy., 853-5973. SEE BAYMEADOWS.

BITE-SIZED

OUTERBANKS SPORTS BAR & GRILLE, 140 The Lakes Blvd., Ste. H, Kingsland, 912-729-5499. Fresh seafood, burgers, steaks, wings. $$ FB TO D Nightly SALT.PEPPER.THYME, 105 N. Lee St., Kingsland, 912-510-0444, saltpepperthyme.net. Varied American Southern fare in an elegant setting. Dine in or out. $$ BW K TO L W; L & D Th-Sa

INTRACOASTAL WEST

AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F 2016 Best of Jax winner/finalist. 30 years of awesome gourmet pizza, baked dishes. All day HH M-Th. $ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

MANDARIN + NW ST. JOHNS

AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F 2016 Best of Jax winner/finalist. SEE INTRACOASTAL. ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199, athenscafejax.com. 20+ years of Greek fare, serving dolmades (stuffed grape leaves), baby shoes (stuffed eggplant), Greek beers. Vegetarian-friendly. Full bar. Early bird menu Mon.-Fri. $$ FB L M-F; D M-Sa CRUISERS GRILL, 5613 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 1, 737-2874. 2016 Best of Jax winner. SEE BEACHES. FIRST COAST DELI & GRILL, 6082 St. Augustine Rd., 733-7477. Pancakes, bacon, sandwiches, burgers, wings. $ K TO B L Daily JAX DINER, 5065 St. Augustine Rd., 739-7070, jaxdiner. com. Simple name, simple concept: Local. Chef Roderick “Pete” Smith, a local culinary expert with nearly 20 years under his apron, uses locally sourced ingredients from area farmers, vendors and the community for American and Southern dishes. Seasonal brunch. $ K TO B L M-F, D F METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F 2016 Best of Jax winner/finalist. Dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO BAR-B-QUE, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200, mojobbq.com. 2016 Best of Jax winner. SEE AVONDALE. NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. F 2016 Best of Jax winner. Organic soups, baked items, sandwiches, prepared foods. Juice, smoothie, coffee bar. All-natural beer/ wine. $ BW TO K B L D Daily

pphoto pho too byy Mad M Madison iso sonn G Gross rosss ros

METRO DINER, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., 425-9142. F 2016 Best of Jax winner/finalist. SEE SAN MARCO. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 11030 Baymeadows Rd., 260-2791. 2016 Best of Jax winner. SEE MANDARIN. PATTAYA THAI GRILLE, 9551 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1, 646-9506, ptgrille.com. Since 1989, the family-owned place has offered an extensive menu of traditional Thai, vegetarian, new-Thai; curries, seafood, noodles, soups. Lowsodium & gluten-free. $$$ BW TO L D Tu-Sa THE WELL WATERING HOLE, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9, 737-7740, thewellwateringhole.com. Local craft beers, glass/bottle wines. Meatloaf sandwich, pulled Peruvian chicken, vegan black bean burgers. Gluten-free pizzas, desserts. HH specials. $$ BW K TO L M-F; D Tu-Sa WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 135, 634-7208, whiskeyjax.com. Popular gastropub has craft beers, gourmet burgers, handhelds, signature plates, tacos and–sure–whiskey. HH M-F. $$ FB B Sa & Su; L F; D Nightly

BUN

VOYAGE!

OVERSET

LIKE THE NAME SUGGESTS, THE LOCAL HAS locally sourced ingredients in many dishes, with new ones being added on the regular. The newly opened San Marco spot makes eating fresh easy. With fine coffees, sandwiches, interesting salads, build-your-own protein plates and fresh juices, The Local strikes a balance between healthy fuel you want to eat and slightly more indulgent options. Cheese fries ($8), anyone?! (Read: everyone!) Local drafts on tap and an extensive selection of bottled beers are planned. For now, try the fresh juices and hand-squeezed lemonade and limeade ($3). Along with a regular menu, The Local offers a tapas-style menu perfect for an extended evening with friends. The Mushroom Crostini ($9.50) includes six baguette rounds topped with chunks of marinated Portobello, creamy goat cheese, a thin slice of marinated red pepper, all drizzled with Green Goddess dressing. It’s the only menu offered from 5-10 p.m., so plan ahead.

BITE-SIZED THE LOCAL

4578 San Jose Blvd., San Marco, 683-8063, thelocaljax.com

The sandwich selection is on point. The Italiano ($10.90), a traditional stack of Italian meats on soft ciabatta, lets you sink your teeth into the salty goodness of prosciutto, salami and ham. Really, what more could you want? It’s topped with tomato, spring mix, oil and vinegar and sprinkled with shaved parmesan. The Bistro Burger ($12) is a meal in itself: a thick beef burger with all the fixin’s: lettuce, tomato and onion on a ciabatta bun (add cheese for $1), served with fries. If you’re not feeling a basic burger, try one of The Local’s sandwich specials—The Enzo with prosciutto, mozzarella and fig aioli ($11.80)—or a complex salad like Goatacado Bowl with arugula, chickpeas, quinoa, tomatoes, cucumbers and goat cheese ($10). If you’re feeling more like a lean, mean, fighting machine, hit the Build Your Own Plate section. Choose your protein–fried or grilled chicken ($10.50), shrimp ($12.40), salmon ($12.80) or steak ($13.30). Pick some sides– fries, side salad, sweet potatoes or quinoa. The variety makes healthy eating a snap. I ordered the salmon with side salad and quinoa. TBH, my taste buds were happy about how clean they felt. There’s a wide variety of dressings; the house favorite is lemon thyme vinaigrette. About the sweet potato fries: More like homefries than French fries, they’re simple, slightly crisp, a little chewy on the inside and super-delicious. They taste like your mom made them, with a definite “This tastes too good to be good for me, right?” style. So yeah, that’s a must-try nudge. If you’re feeling too picky to let someone else design your ’wich, take the build-your-own sandwich option. Start with bread (multigrain baguette, ciabatta, sourdough), add meat (turkey, ham, roast beef, salami, prosciutto, grilled or fried chicken, hanger steak) and keep going with veggies, cheese and dressing. A sandwich made just how you want and you didn’t slice one tomato. Brentley Stead biteclub@folioweekly.com AUGUST 16-22, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 31


DINING DIRECTORY PINT-SIZED Craft conference features camaraderie, authenticity and the EVIL EMPIRE

Chefs Robert Goens (left, Beaches) and Eric Gaynons (right, Baymeadows) work together to maintain high quality and consistency for both WHISKEY JAX locations.

VIVA LA CRAFT

RESISTANCE AT A CONFERENCE WITH SEVERAL HUNDRE HUNDRED brewers, it’s obvious there’s solidarity within the craft world. And passion–lots of passion. These men and women live and breathe craft beer and are fiercely loyal to the processes that make it special. There’s pride in the final product, but there’s an equal–if not greater–pride in being a part of a movement that’s shaken the very foundations of giant corporations so much, the behemoths are fighting back. Jim Koch, outspoken owner of Boston Beer Company–better known as Samuel Adams–spoke about authenticity. When the ability to pay the mortgage depends on the fruits of your labors, things get real. Brewers relying on the success of their beers are more incented to brew quality, authentic product. “Big brewers,” Koch said, “have trouble starting craft breweries because they do not have authenticity.” That means big brewers like AnheuserBusch InBev and MillerCoors have few choices other than absorbing craft breweries into their portfolios. For AB/InBev, it takes the form of The High End division, which includes breweries such as Chicago’s Goose Island Beer Company, Elysian Brewing out of Seattle and, most recently and perhaps most controversially, Asheville, North Carolina’s Wicked Weed Brewing. But if a multinational beer conglomerate purchases a brewery, does that mean it’s no longer craft? It depends who’s doing the talking–the purchaser or the purchased. The Brewers Association (BA) says a craft brewery must be small, independent and traditional. The exact parameters? A brewery cannot produce more than six million barrels a year or be more than 25 percent owned by an alcohol industry member that’s not a craft brewer. To help consumers differentiate, the BA has launched the Certified Independent Craft Brewer Seal. It allows craft brewers to license the Independent Craft Seal and put it on packaging and in taprooms. Brewers who don’t meet the guidelines reply that their brews are still handcrafted labors of love regardless of who owns the brewery. “I mean, at the end of the day, we’re all making beer,” said Wicked Weed’s Walt Dickinson, in Beer Street Journal. “We are all brewers, whether you want to call us craft or not craft or whatever.” To a degree, he’s right. In most cases, the new monolithic owners have a hands-off attitude when it comes to brewer creativity. What they’ve done, though, is bring scale of economy, enhanced safety compliance and increased benefits to employees. Still, to several hundred brewers at the Florida Brewers Guild Conference and beer drinkers worldwide, selling to the Evil Empire marks those brewers with the beer-industry version of the Scarlet Letter–this time, though, the “A” is for Apostatize. Though some hardcore aficionados may shun these brews, others still gleefully line up on Bourbon County Brand Stout release day or make hegiras to a Wicked Weed site in Asheville. No matter where you stand on the subject, one thing’s certain: Big beer will continue to pursue craft beer and the lines will continue to blur. May as well pour a cold one, sit back and enjoy the show. Marc Wisdom marc@folioweekly.com

PINT-SIZED

32 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 16-22, 2017

ORANGE PARK

THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959, hilltop-club.com. Southern fine dining. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. Extensive bourbon selection. $$$ FB D Tu-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 165, 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 15, 272-3553. 5733 Roosevelt Blvd., 446-9500. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove, 284-7789, larryssubs.com. F Larry’s piles ’em high, serves ’em fast; 36+ years. Hot & cold subs, soups. Some Larry’s serve breakfast. $ K TO B L D Daily METRO DINER, 2034 Kingsley Ave., 375-8548. F 2016 Best of Jax winner/finalist. Dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. MILL BASIN, 1754 Wells Rd., 644-8172, mill-basin.com. Serving modern interpretations of classic Italian fare and upscale craft cocktails. Late night menu. Daily HH, brunch Sun. $$ FB L D Daily THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611, roadhouseonline.net. Sandwiches, wings, burgers, quesadillas for 35+ years. 75+ imported beers. $ FB L D Daily SPRING PARK COFFEE, 328 Ferris St., Green Cove Springs, 531-9391, springparkcoffee.com. Cozy shop; fresh-roasted Brass Tacks coffee, handcrafted hot & cold drinks, specialty lattes, cappuccino, macchiato, teas, pastries, sandwiches, breakfast. $ B L D Daily

PONTE VEDRA BEACH

AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A, 543-1494. F 2016 Best of Jax winner/finalist. SEE INTRACOASTAL. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 830 A1A N., Ste. 6, 273-3993. F SEE ORANGE PARK. M SHACK NOCATEE, 641 Crosswater Pkwy., 395-3575. 2016 Best of Jax finalist. SEE BEACHES. METRO DINER, 340 Front St., Ste. 700, 513-8422. F 2016 Best of Jax winner/finalist. SEE SAN MARCO.

RIVERSIDE, 5 PTS + WESTSIDE

13 GYPSIES, 887 Stockton St., 389-0330, 13gypsies.com. 2016 Best of Jax winner. Authentic Mediterranean cuisine: chorizo, tapas, blackened cod, pork skewers, coconut mango curry chicken. Breads from scratch. $$ BW L D Tu-Sa, R Sa AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., Ste. 201, 388-8384. F 2016 Best of Jax winner/finalist. SEE INTRACOASTAL. BIG OAK BBQ & CATERING, 1948 Henley Rd., Middleburg, 214-3041. 1440 Dunn Ave., 757-2225, bigoakbbqfl.com. Family-owned-and-operated barbecue joints have smoked chicken, pulled pork, ribs, sides and stumps, which sounds damn good. $$ K TO L D M-Sa BLACK SHEEP, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, blacksheep 5points.com. 2016 Best of Jax winner/finalist. New American, Southern; local source ingredients. Specials, rooftop bar. HH. $$$ FB R Sa & Su; L M-F; D Nightly BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 869 Stockton St., Ste. 1, 855-1181, boldbeancoffee.com. 2016 Best of Jax winner. Small-batch, artisanal approach to sourcing and roasting single-origin, direct-trade coffees. Signature blends, handcrafted syrups, espressos, craft beers. $ BW TO B L Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412, cornertaco.com. Made-from-scratch “Mexclectic street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free, vegetarian options. $ BW L D Tu-Su CUMMER CAFÉ, Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummer.org. 2016 Best of Jax winner. Light lunch, quick bites, locally roasted coffee, espresso-based drinks, sandwiches, desserts, daily specials. Dine in or in gardens. $ BW K L D Tu; L W-Su

EUROPEAN STREET Café, 2753 Park St., 384-9999. 2016 Best of Jax finalist. 130+ import beers, 20 on tap. Sandwiches. Dine outside at some ESts. $ BW K L D Daily GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. F 2016 Best of Jax finalist. Juice bar uses certified organic fruits, veggies. Artisanal cheeses, 300 craft, import beers, 50 organic wines, produce, meats, vitamins, herbs, wraps, sides, sandwiches. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS ASIAN STREET FARE, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. 2016 Best of Jax winner. Authentic dishes from mobile stalls: BBQ pork char sui, beef haw fun, Hawkers baos, chow faan, grilled Hawker skewers. $ BW TO L D Daily IL DESCO, 2665 Park St., 290-6711, ildescojax.com. 2016 Best of Jax finalist. Authentic Italian cuisine; wood-fired pizzas, pasta, baked Italian dishes, raw bar, spaghetti tacos. Daily HH. $$-$$$ FB K TO L D Daily JOHNNY’S DELI & GRILLE, 474 Riverside Ave., 356-8055. F Casual spot offers made-to-order sandwiches, wraps. $ TO B L M-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1509 Margaret St., 674-2794. 7895 Normandy Blvd., 781-7600. 8102 Blanding Blvd., 779-1933. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., 999-4600. F 2016 Best of Jax winner/finalist. SEE SAN MARCO. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442. F 2016 Best of Jax winner/finalist. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. M SHACK, 1012 Margaret St., 423-1283. 2016 Best of Jax finalist. SEE BEACHES. SOUTHERN ROOTS FILLING STATION, 1275 King St., 513-4726, southernrootsjax.com. 2016 Best of Jax winner/finalist. Fresh vegan fare; local, organic ingredients. Specials, on bread, local greens/rice, change daily. Sandwiches, coffees, teas. $ Tu-Su SUN-RAY CINEMA, 1028 Park St., 359-0047, sunraycinema.com. 2016 Best of Jax winner. First-run, indie and art films screened. Beer, local drafts, wine, pizza–Godbold, Black Lagoon Supreme–hot dogs, hummus, sandwiches, popcorn, nachos, brownies. $$ BW Daily SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside Ave., Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushicafejax.com. F 2016 Best of Jax winner. Monster, Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll. Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. Inside/patio. $$ BW L D Daily

ST. AUGUSTINE

AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F 2016 Best of Jax winner/finalist. SEE INTRACOASTAL. The CORAZON CINEMA & CAFE, 36 Granada St., 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com. Sandwiches, combos, salads and pizza are served at the cinema house, showing indie and first-run movies. $$ Daily CRUISERS GRILL, 3 St. George St., 824-6993. 2016 Best of Jax winner. SEE BEACHES. THE FLORIDIAN, 72 Spanish St., 829-0655, thefloridianstaug.com. 2016 Best of Jax winner. Updated Southern fare; fresh, local ingredients. Vegetarian, glutenfree options. Signature fried green tomato bruschetta, blackened fish cornbread stack; grits w/shrimp/fish/tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D W-M GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F 34+ years. Varied urban cuisine menu changes twice daily. Signature: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. $$ FB R Su; L D Daily MARDI GRAS SPORTS BAR, 123 San Marco Ave., 347-3288, mardibar.com. The lively sports bar has wings, nachos, shrimp, chicken, Phillys, sliders, soft pretzels. $$ FB TO L D Daily

METRO DINER, 1000 S. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 758-3323. F 2016 Best of Jax winner/finalist. Dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO OLD CITY BBQ, 5 Cordova St., 342-5264, mojobbq.com. 2016 Best of Jax winner. SEE AVONDALE. SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 321 A1A, 217-3256. SEE BEACHES. WOODPECKER’S BACKYARD BBQ, 4930 S.R. 13, 531-5670, woodpeckersbbq.weebly.com. Barbecue smoked fresh daily. Brisket, ribs, pork, sausage, turkey: in sandwiches, plates by the pound. 8 sauces, 10 sides. $$ TO L D Tu-Su

SAN MARCO + SOUTHBANK

THE BEARDED PIG SOUTHERN BBQ & BEER GARDEN, 1224 Kings Ave., 619-2247, thebeardedpigbbq.com. 2016 Best of Jax winner/finalist. Barbecue joint Southern style: brisket, pork, chicken, sausage, beef; veggie platters. $$ BW K TO Daily BISTRO AIX, 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox.com. F Mediterranean/French inspired menu changes seasonally. 250+ wines. Wood-fired oven baked, grilled specialties: pizza, pasta, risotto, steaks, seafood. Hand-crafted cocktails, specialty drinks. Dine outside. HH M-F. $$$ FB L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 1905 Hendricks Ave. 2016 Best of Jax winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 398-9500. 2016 Best of Jax finalist. SEE RIVERSIDE. FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusionsushijax.com. F Upscale; fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, katsu, seafood. $$ K L D Daily HAVANA-JAX CAFÉ/CUBA LIBRE BAR, 2578 Atlantic Blvd., 399-0609, havanajax.com. Bite Club certified. Cuban sandwiches are the real thing: big, thick, flattened. Traditional fare: black beans & rice, plantains, steaks, seafood, chicken & rice, roast pork. Spanish wine, drink specials, mojitos, Cuba libres. Nonstop HH. $ FB K L D Daily KITCHEN ON SAN MARCO, 1402 San Marco Blvd., 396-2344, kitchenonsanmarco.com. 2016 Best of Jax finalist. Gastropub serves local, national craft beers, specialty cocktails. Seasonal menu, with fresh, locally sourced ingredients. $$ FB R Su; L D Daily METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metrodinercom. F 2016 Best of Jax winner/finalist. Original upscale diner in a historic 1930s-era building. Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, soups. This one serves dinner nightly. $$ B R L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco Blvd., 398-3005, tavernasanmarco.com. Chef Sam Efron’s authentic Italian; tapas, wood-fired pizza. Seasonal local produce, meats. Craft beer (some local), award-winning wine. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily

SOUTHSIDE + TINSELTOWN

ALHAMBRA THEATRE & DINING, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. Open 50 years. Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus. Reservations. $$ FB D Tu-Su EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717. 2016 Best of Jax finalist. SEE RIVERSIDE. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F SEE ORANGE PARK. MARIANAS GRINDS, 11380 Beach Blvd., Ste. 10, 206-612-6596. Pacific Islander fare, chamorro culture.


DINING DIRECTORY Soups, stews, fitada, beef oxtail, katden pika; empanadas, lumpia, chicken relaguen, BBQ-style ribs, chicken. $$ TO B L D Tu-Su M SHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000. 2016 Best of Jax finalist. SEE BEACHES.

SPRINGFIELD + NORTHSIDE

ANDY’S GRILL, 1810 W. Beaver St., 354-2821, jaxfarmersmarket.com. Inside Jax Farmers Market. Local,

regional, international produce. Breakfast, sandwiches. $ B L D M-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 12001 Lem Turner Rd., 764-9999. SEE ORANGE PARK. UPTOWN KITCHEN & BAR, 1303 Main St. N., 355-0734, uptownmarketjax.com. Bite Club certified. Fresh fare, innovative menus, farm-to-table selections, daily specials. $$ BW TO B L Daily

CHEFFED-UP

CHEFFED-UP

BLURRED

LINES

IF YOU’VE BEEN AWAKE FOR THE LAST five years, you’ve probably noticed counter service and the fast-casual restaurant concept have taken the restaurant industry by storm, with a depressing aftermath of destruction. What destruction? Genuine hospitality! There are three general restaurant designs: counter service, fast-casual and traditional table service. The basic difference among these is the level of service. Obviously, a traditional venue features full table service; in fast-casual, the guest gives the order to a person behind a counter and the food’s delivered to their table; counter service is the usual practice for take-out. Unfortunately, the lines dividing the three have blurred. The rapid move from table service to fast-casual to counter service is occurring without clear direction. The horrifying result: a hybrid beast in which the restaurateur’s only motivation is costcutting—guests be damned! Yes, you could say I’m kinda disgusted by this trend. Here’s why. 1) Food service is not solely about selling food. It’s about offering hospitality to fellow humans. 2) An untrained or poorly trained employee detracts from the offered product, and will never develop pride in or loyalty to your business. He will alienate the guests and quickly hop to another restaurant, leaving you in the lurch, training yet another new hire. 3) Great food does not make up for rude treatment (not even for a food-obsessed chef). 4) When employees at Mickey D’s drive-thru are better-trained and more pleasant than your staff, you’ve failed— get off my planet! By sheer coincidence, I recently received an invitation to a new Latin Americaninspired, fast-casual concept in Murray Hill (being a celebrity VIP is sweeeet). Here comes the shameless plug: It’s B Street Eats. This isn’t a restaurant review column, so I won’t go into their operations. But I will say they appear to “get it” as a fast-casual concept. First, the employees were extremely polite and pleasant. Second, the dining room is designed so that drinks and condiments are easily accessible from every table.

Restaurants FAVORING SPEED over hospitality leave Chef Bill wanting more service ood oo d was wa on point, poi oint nt, and nt and ar rive ri ived d Third, thee ffood arrived in a timely manner. What’s one of the big keys many fast-casuals miss? Being FAST! It seems these guys know a little sumpin’ sumpin’ ’bout hospitality. And did I mention one of the cooks is a former culinary student of mine? Major bonus. If you’re in the mood for Latin and want to make it at home, here’s a Cheffed Up recipe for adobo pork satay. It won’t be fast, but I’m sure your hospitality will make up for any delay.

CHEF BILL’S ADOBO PORK SATAY

Ingredients: • 3 oranges, juiced • 1 lime, juiced • 3 chipotle chili, seeded and minced • 3 garlic cloves, paste • 2 tsp. dried oregano • 1/2 tsp. ground cumin • 1/2 oz. red wine vinegar • 1 tbsp. pure vanilla extract • 2 center-cut pork loins, cleaned of all • fat and sinew Directions: 1. Mix all ingredients except pork in 1. a large bowl. 2. Slice pork loin into 4”x1-1/2” slices. 1. Keep the slices very thin, 1/8” to 1. 1/4” thick. 3. Mix the pork with marinade and 1. store in a Ziploc bag. Marinate for 1. 18-24 hours. 4. Thread pork on presoaked 1. 6” bamboo skewers. 5. Sprinkle with salt and grill. 6. Serve with chimichurri sauce. Until we cook again,

Chef Bill Thompson cheffedup@folioweekly.com ____________________________________ Contact Chef Bill Thompson, owner of The Amelia Island Culinary Academy, at cheffedup@folioweekly.com to find inspiration and get you Cheffed Up! AUGUST 16-22, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 33


PETS LOOKIN’ FOR LOVE FOLIO

W E E K LY

FOLIO LIVING DEAR

PET

DAVI

PETS LIKE ME: MEET BABALOU:

LOVERS’

GUIDE

BABALOU

The life of Babalou plays out like a rags-toriches story.

ACT ONE: A teeny black kitten is rescued

from the woods by a kind woman, who takes him into her home and prepares him for his next audition. ACT TWO: His sass and sparkle receive a standing ovation at a fall festival from two passersby searching for a furry friend to play the part of spoiled cat in their playhouse. ACT THREE: He rests easy in his humble abode, which he shares with his human twins. I had the pleasure of meeting this leading character, and can honestly say he’s the cat’s meow.

IN HIS WORDS:

Davi: On average, how many hours a day do you sleep? Babalou: I sleep only when my humans are at work—and during thunderstorms. How many treats can you devour on any given day? I think it’s purrfectly fine to indulge in an occasional treat … or 20. That’s probably why I’m on weight-control chow. How many days have you gone without taking a bath? Not many. I hate water, so I take waterless baths using Bed Head for Cool Cats. What do you do when strangers stare at you? Run! I don’t like strangers invading my space. What was the last present you gave your human? I gave them the privilege of petting me. I also gift them with a carcass every now and then. Pretend you’re a bird. What three concerns about cats keep you up at night? Fangs. Claws. Speed. What’s your trademark move? I have this slo-mo stalking stance—it may not be as distinctive as the moonwalk, but it’s just as memorable. What’s the most interesting thing about you that we wouldn’t learn by simply meeting you? I wear bow ties for all occasions.

Behind every good human is an AWESOME PET waiting to share its story What would your human say are your best features? My beautiful black fur and my smirky smile. If you could text your human, what would you write? Come home. Now. I want treats. What’s the weirdest thing that’s happened to you recently? Being interviewed by a dog. If you’re a feline fanatic, or you have a pal who volunteers at an animal shelter, you may have heard that black cats are less likely to be adopted, and there’s no real reason why that is. Black cats were once the animal world’s rock stars, but that perception has changed. Some may believe black cats are bad luck, a silly superstition that’s led to neglect or abuse. It’s also possible black cats stand out less than their brightly colored counterparts, like tabbies or calicos. Whatever the reason, people should know that black cats are just as fantastic as other felines and shouldn’t be ignored simply because of their color. (Just like humans!) Black Cat Appreciation Day, celebrated each year on Aug. 17, was launched to help raise awareness about black cats and show that black does go with everything—just ask any fashionista. Black is the new black! Davi mail@folioweekly.com ____________________________________ Davi is quite sure that black brings out the mischievous sparkle in his eyes.

PET TIP: CAT VACS OK, SO IT’S SUPER-DUPER SWEET, not to mention environmentally responsible, that you keep Catsy Cline inside where she can’t enact a kitty holocaust on local wildlife. It’s also likely to keep her alive longer, as indoor cats have fewer risk factors for rabies and other diseases. But keeping a feline within four walls doesn’t mean it’s OK to forego all vaccinations and meds. Whether to give her preventive treatment for fleas, heartworm, feline leukemia and rabies (depending on jurisdictional requirements) is technically up to you–as is whether or not to get her ahem fixed–but is it worth the risk? 34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 16-22, 2017


PET EVENTS THERAPY ANIMALS: RISKS & REWARDS • The panel discussion speaker series event, addressing the issues of having therapy animals, is held 6:30 p.m. Aug. 17 at Nemours Children’s Specialty Care, 807 Children’s Way, Southbank, 567-6863, therapyanimalcoalition.org. PET LIFE SAVER CLASSES • The class ($149) for dogs and cats is 10 a.m.-1 p.m. Aug. 19 at 205 Waler Way, Ste. 2, St. Augustine, 635-3665, petlifesaverjax.com. The next class is 9 a.m.-noon Aug. 26 at Nease Animal Hospital, 10440 U.S. 1 S., Ste. 101, St. Augustine.

ADOPTABLES

PENELOPE

OVERSET

LET’S GET TOGETHER SOON • Hi there! I’m a total lap dog, looking for a lap to claim as my own. If you’re the kind of human who likes beach running and pizza crust sharing, I’m your girl. JHS is open seven days a week, so no excuses not to stop by and say hello. Let’s get together and pick out a new leash on life! TRICK TRAINING EVENT • Bring your pet and see what tricks instructors offer; 1-3 p.m. Aug. 20 at PetSmart, 356 Monument Rd., Regency, 724-4600, petsmart.com. MEET THE CRITTERS • Discover scales, tails and a whole lot of fun during this free event dedicated to exploring the wonderful world of small pets. 1-3 p.m. Aug. 19 at Petco, 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy., Ste. 145, Jax Beach. KATZ 4 KEEPS ADOPTION DAYS • Adoption days are 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Aug. 19 & 20, and every Sat. and Sun., at 935B A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach, 834-3223, katz4keeps.org.

ADOPTABLES

PRECIOUS

MORE PRECIOUS THAN PRECIOUS • Sugar and spice and everything nice, that’s what this kitty is made of! It’s true, I was named for being a total sucker for love. Snuggles? I’m down for that. Cuddles? Bring it on! And belly rubs? WHY NOT? Cats can be just as affectionate as dogs–I’m living proof. Come meet me at Jacksonville Humane Society at 8464 Beach Blvd., Southside today! ADOPTABLE PETS MEET & GREET • Find the pet you’ve always wanted noon-4 p.m. Aug. 19 at Petco, 430 CBL Dr., St. Augustine, 824-8520, petco.com. GUIDED BEACH WALK • GTMRR holds this walk 8:3010:30 a.m. Aug. 19; meet at 1798 Ponte Vedra Blvd. Wear closed-toe shoes. You never know what creatures you’ll meet. $3 parking fee, details at gtmnerr.org, 823-4500. FEEDINGS & TOURS • Catty Shack’s night feedings are open to the public most Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays, daytime tours most Thursdays at 1860 Starratt Rd., Northside, 757-3603, cattyshack.org. For details, check the website. PET ADOPTION • 60+ cats and kittens, 40+ dogs and puppies need homes; Wags & Whiskers Pet Rescue, 1967 Old Moultrie Rd., St. Augustine, 797-1913, 797-6039, petrescue.org. All are spayed/neutered and up-to-date on shots. _________________________________________ To list an event, send the name, time, date, location (complete street address, city), admission price, contact number/website to print, to mdryden@folioweekly.com AUGUST 16-22, 2017 | folioweekly.com | 35


FREEWILL ASTROLOGY

DALE RATERMANN’s Folio Weekly Crossword presented by

PEGASUS, RICHARD BACH, GOTHIC REVIVAL ARCHITECTURE & WILE E. COYOTE

Serving Excellence Since 1928 Member American Gem Society

San Marco 2044 San Marco Blvd. 398-9741

Ponte Vedra

THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA

330 A1A North 280-1202

Avondale 3617 St. Johns Ave. 388-5406

FOLIO WEEKLY CROSSWORD 1

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U2 frontman Oil vessel Panache Was contrite Starsky’s partner Sleek, at Daytona Speedway Heart problem State that’s a 2,186-mile drive from Jax Peninsula penthouse perk WJCT show Tissue layer Angela’s ___ “Who’s there?” reply Hold on 34th Prez WJCT show Pilot, e.g. St. Johns River wrigglers Box at the gym WAOC ad Ovine line WJCT show Fire preceder Blood type, briefly Apt to snap Fairy tale bro

51 53 61 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71

FSCJ fig. WJCT show Tiki Barber, e.g. Swisher Gym, for one ___-ran Humdrum Underwood’s gem Little demons Match, informally Oregon’s capital Gaffney and Davis

DOWN 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 10 11 12 13 21 22 25 26

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Uncouth youth “That hurt!” Classic pop Lyrical works Hang loose Kind of complexion 2002 Olympics locale Return to sender Biblical pronoun Hangover sites Island chain “Chances ___” Diva’s demand German auto Fill to the gills Zoo behemoths Scrape by

36 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 16-22, 2017

27 Halter 28 Jags sprain relief 29 Phil Collins: “In ___ Tonight” 30 Mocha Rita’s meat 31 Old Miss 32 Twisted dry 33 Top-notch 34 Middle of Caesar’s boast 37 Novel ID 38 Lighten up 42 Her relative 44 Apple or pear 45 Jumbo Shrimp fig. 50 Morning Joe net.

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51 Chamblin shelf label 52 Holy hymn 54 Drains 55 Common code 56 Derby on Park buy 57 Fridge invasion 58 53-Across regular 59 Gators game channel, often 60 Mix a salad 61 QB Bortles’ goals 62 Like some wit 63 2016 Tropical Storm

SOLUTION TO 8.9.17 PUZZLE

C L A Y A T M S

S K I P O L E

O N A R O L L

B E A T E R S

C A D A V E R

R T E E M S U T S E T A H L O W C O O P R S L A M E R E E N B D O O Y

I D C A R D K I T

O N O

B I S A R N H A L O B R F I E A L G R E W I C A N M S B E W A N H L A I R I L T O C E A U R R

S Q U I N T

A U S S I E S

C O Y O T E S

N E S T

T A R R O R E A S P I T A N A Y A S T R I A E N T

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “To disobey in order to take action is the byword of all creative spirits,” said philosopher Gaston Bachelard. This mischievous advice is perfect now. You’ll thrive through the practice of ingenious rebellion–never in service to pride, but to feed your soul’s lust for deeper, wilder life. More of Bachelard: “Autonomy comes through many small disobediences, at once clever, well thought-out, and patiently pursued, so subtle at times as to avoid punishment entirely.”

To celebrate, ask for and dole out forgiveness. Purge and flush away your festering nonessential guilt and remorse. If there truly are hurtful sins you haven’t atoned for, make a grand effort to do so–with gifts and heartfelt messages. At the same time, identify accusations others wrongly projected onto you which you’ve carried even though they’re inaccurate. Expunge them.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Congratulations! In the next three weeks, you’ll be immune to what psychoanalyst Joan Chodorow calls “the void of sadness, the abyss of fear, the chaos of anger and the alienation of contempt and shame.” All of us are subject to regular encounters with those states. I stand by my prediction, and go further. In that time, you’ll be ready for an inordinate amount of what Chodorow calls “the light of focused insight” and “the playful, blissful, all-embracing experience of joy.”

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): How many countries do you estimate that the United States has bombed since the end of World War II? The actual number is 25. But if America’s intention has been to prod these nations into forming more free, egalitarian governments, it’s been mostly fruitless. Few of the attacked nations have become more democratic. This is a valuable lesson to apply to your life in the weeks ahead. Metaphorical bombing campaigns wouldn’t accomplish even 10 percent of your goals, and would be expensive in more ways than one. Use the “killing with kindness” plan. Be wily and generous. Cloak coaxing in compassion.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The days ahead may be time to celebrate (even brag on) amusing idiosyncrasies and endearing quirks that make you lovable. For inspiration, read what my triple Gemini friend Alyssa says: “I have beauty marks that form the constellation Pegasus on my belly. I own an ant farm. I’m a champion laugher. I teach sign language to squirrels. Late at night, I channel the lion goddess spirit Sekhmet. I can whistle the national anthems of eight countries. I collect spoons from the future. I play the piano with my nose and toes. I’ve forever banished the green-eyed monster away.”

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You know of the Ten Commandments, a code of ethics and behavior central to Christianity and Judaism. You may not know my Ten Suggestions, starting with “Thou Shall Not Bore God” and “Thou Shall Not Bore Thyself.” The Ten Indian Commandments proposed by East Central Alabama’s Bird Clan include “Give assistance and kindness whenever needed” and “Look after the well-being of your mind and body.” Now’s an ideal time to formally formulate and declare a covenant with life. What are the essential principles taking you to the highest good?

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Your education may take unusual forms in the next few weeks. You could receive crunchy lessons from velvety sources, or tender instructions from exacting challenges. Your curiosity may grow to huge proportions from a noble, elegant tease. You may find a new teacher in an unlikely setting, or be prodded and tricked into asking crucial questions. Even if you’re not too street smart, your ability to learn from uncategorizable experiences will blossom.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Here’s a definition of “fantasizing” as articulated by writer Jon Carroll. It’s “a sort of ‘in-brain’ television, where individuals create their own ‘shows’–imaginary narratives that may or may not include real people.” As Capricorns enter the High Fantasy Season, you may like this amusing way to describe activity you should cultivate and intensify. Would you consider cutting back on consumption of movies and TV shows? It may inspire you to devote more time and energy to watching tales generated in your mind’s eye.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “If you love someone, set them free,” said New Age author Richard Bach. “If they come back, they’re yours; if they don’t, they never were.” My well-educated intellect transmutes this hippiedippy idea into practical advice. Here’s my wise strategy to use as you rethink relationships with allies. Temporarily suspend compulsions to change or fix them; do your best to like them, even love them as they are. Ironically, granting them freedom to be themselves may motivate them to modify, or at least tone down, the behavior that irks you. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In 1892, workers began building the Cathedral of St. John the Divine in New York. As of August 2017, it’s still under construction. Renovation has been and continues to be extensive. At one point, designers even changed its architectural style from Neo-Byzantine and Neo-Romanesque to Gothic Revival. This is a pep talk for the weeks ahead; a great time to evaluate your progress. As you toil away in behalf of your dreams, there’s no rush. You’re proceeding at precisely the right rate. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In accordance with astrological omens, I declare the next two weeks your personal Amnesty Holiday.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In 43 cartoon stories, the critter Wile E. Coyote has tried to kill and devour the swiftrunning flightless bird, the Road Runner. Every single time, Wile E. has failed to achieve his goal. It’s apparent to astute observers that his lack of success is partly because he doesn’t rely on his natural predatory instincts. He concocts elaborate, overly complicated schemes. In one episode, he camouflages himself as a cactus, buys artificial lightning bolts, and tries to shoot himself from a bow as if he were an arrow. All those plans end badly. The moral of the story? To reach the next goal, trust your instincts. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Just temporarily, you now have cosmic permission to loiter, goof off and shirk your duties; to be a lazy bum and avoid tough decisions. To sing off-key, draw stick figures and write bad poems. To run slowly, flirt awkwardly and dress like a slob. Take advantage of this chance; it’s available only for a limited time. It’s like pushing the reset button, meant to reestablish your default settings. Don’t worry about that; simply enjoy the break in the action. Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com


NEWS OF THE WEIRD DADDY WALL-BUCKS

Odessa, Texas, resident Ernesto Baeza Acosta, 34, has legally changed his name to Ernesto Trump and declared himself the son of President Donald Trump. His NSFW Facebook page features photos of Ernesto wearing a Trump-like wig; he asks folks to “Please share this so that my Dad your president can see this and spend time with me.” Ernesto is a fan of Trump, but his immigrant mother is unamused about his name change.

MOM OF THE YEAR AWARD

Alana Nicole Donahue, 27, of Springfield, Oregon, wanted to entertain her kids and nephew with a joy ride around the neighborhood. But on July 12, as she pulled the kids (ages 2, 4 and 8) behind her Ford Taurus in a plastic red wagon, she was arrested for reckless endangerment. Donahue told cops she was just “showing the kids a good time.” Horrified witnesses saw the car going about 30 mph as the wagon went up on two wheels careening around a busy traffic circle at rush hour.

NOTHING BETTER THAN A WHITE LINE

David Blackmon identified himself as a drug dealer when he called the Okaloosa County Sheriff ’s Office on July 16 to report $50 in cash and a quarter-ounce of cocaine had been stolen from his car. When officers investigated, they found a baggie with “suspected cocaine,” a crack pipe and a crack rock in the car. Blackmon was charged with possession of cocaine and drug paraphernalia.

NORTH CAROLINA CRIMINALS RULE!

The Pink Panther, he ain’t. Police in Wayne County are looking for a careless cat burglar who wakes people up as he robs them. At least one victim awakened by the slender white man in early July saw him wearing a pink polka-dot beach towel around his head. Police aren’t sure if he’s actually gotten away with any loot. Three heads are not better than one, as three China Grove masterminds demonstrated on July 12. Rex Allen Farmer, his son, Rex Carlo Farmer, and the younger man’s girlfriend, Kayla Nicole Price, cooked

up a scheme to rob the Mooresville gas station where the elder Farmer worked. Surveillance video showed Carlo, in a woman’s dress and wig, emptying the cash register as his father, the clerk on duty, stood there. Carlo ran outside, took off the dress and wig, and set them on fire beside the building. The fire spread to a meter on the building and a privacy fence, thus summoning authorities. Police soon caught up to all three and arrested them.

TECHNOLOGY RUN AMOK

A security robot named Steve suffered a soggy fatal error on July 17 when it tumbled down several steps and into a fountain in Washington, D.C. New to the job, the robot had been patrolling the Washington Harbour area of Georgetown, mapping out its features in an effort to prevent just such an accident. “He looked so happy and healthy,” an area mourner tweeted after the incident. Another observer was less sympathetic. “Robots: 0; humans: 1,” he tweeted.

I’LL TAKE THAT CRACKER NOW

An African grey parrot named Bud may have been the key witness in convicting 49-year-old Glenna Duram of White Cloud, Michigan, in the shooting death of her husband, Martin, 46. The investigation of the 2015 shooting dragged on for a year before Martin’s first wife, who inherited the parrot, shared with a local TV station a videotape of Bud imitating two people having an argument, including the words “Don’t [expletive] shoot.” Three weeks later, Glenna was arrested and charged with first-degree murder, and on July 19, she was found guilty.

I WANT MY LANDLINE BACK!

Two AT&T utility workers didn’t work fast enough on lines outside the home of Jorge Jove, 64, of Hialeah, on July 19. After confronting the workers, Jove went back into his house, came out with a gun and began shooting at the AT&T trucks, deflating the tires. Jove reloaded twice and shot at the trucks’ engines before aiming at Gilberto Ramos, a service worker up on a utility pole. Jove was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. weirdnewstips@amuniversal.com

Folio Weekly helps you connect with the paramour of your dreams. Go to folioweekly.com/i-saw-u.html, fill out the FREE form correctly (40 words or fewer, dammit) by 5 p.m. Friday (for the next Wednesday’s FW) – next stop: Bliss!

This Friday is Hawaii’s Statehood Day! How to celebrate? Folio

Weekly’s hip-shakin’ editorial staff is getting lei’ed and you’re not. You can read these messages or send one of your own! You know the drill: Go to folioweekly.com/i-saw-u.html and do this:

One: Write a five-word headline so the person recognizes the moment y’all shared. Two: Describe the person, like, “You: In a fake grass skirt, awkwardly hulaing and looking adorably foolish.” Three: Describe yourself, like, “Me: Walking on hot coals, just to get next to you and introduce myself.” Four: Describe the moment, like, “ISU running toward the lava flowing down the side of the volcano; I tripped you to keep you from the magma, saving your life.” Five: Meet, fall in love, reserve a grass hut.* No names, emails, websites, etc. And hey, it’s 40 words or fewer. Get a love life with Folio Weekly ISUs! GLORIOUS ICE-BLUE EYES You: Short brown hair, geeky (JAWS T-shirt), with friends. Wanted to talk; in Red Robin’s bottomless decadent gluttony pit. Too shy to roll over. Me: Tall, dark, mildly handsome, gray shirt, with purplehaired man; knew your friend. When: July 30. Where: Red Robin, Town Center. #1664-0809 HOLY BUT STUBBORN You are holy, but too stubborn to see that I loved you even when you thought you weren’t. Always. When: August 2016. Where: Carlton. #1663-0802 ARE YOU MY AGENT MULDER? You: Young white guy, later model gray Camry; drove by, X-Files song full blast. Me: Adorable black gentleman smoking cigarette on porch. Think I’m in love. Let’s be Mulder & Mulder; no Scully. When: July 19. Where: Riverside. #1662-0726 LONG DISTANCE LOVE You: Squirrel, picked me up at airport with flowers. Me: Rooster, bursting with joy inside. We hugged; our love story began. Will you hold my hand until the end of our days? When: July 12, 2016. Where: JIA. #1661-0712 SELF CHECKOUT WALMART FRUIT COVE You: Wearing cute little sundress, picking up a few things for the family and dog. Me: Trying to make small talk but not so much you’d think I’m flirting in the grocery store. When: June 23. Where: Fruit Cove Walmart. #1660-0712 SPACE GALLERY ARTIST ISU at Dos Gatos on a Monday night. Bought you drinks; you showed me your studio. You wore a little black printed dress; I wore a blank shirt. We went on the roof. Let’s hang again? When: June 26. Where: Dos Gatos. #1659-0705 YOU PAINT MY WORLD BEAUTIFUL You: Tall, handsome, stark blue eyes, witty sense of humor. Me: Smiling green-eyed brunette whose heart skips a beat every time you look my way. ISU at hardware store; been crazy for you ever since. When: February 2014. Where: Neptune Beach. #1658-0628 CAR WASH SUPER-CUTIE You: Sweet, polite girl cleaning grey Honda Civic. Sharing vacuum not romantic; can’t get u off my mind. Me: Average sweaty guy, blue Infinity g37. Too sweaty, shy to flirt; we felt something. Meet for coffee, dinner? When: June 10. Where: Mayport Rd. Car Wash. #1656-0621 HAKUBA21, BRENNA, MARROW SHEWOLF Five years since we saw each other. Had your own style. Loved feathers in your hair. We were close once; you slipped away. Love to see your

face, hold your hand once more. Pretty please. When: 2011. Where: Menendez High School, St. Augustine. #1655-0621 THE COMMODORES GREAT CLOSING ACT You: There with daughter; live in PVB, go to town occasionally. We chatted, danced, laughed; didn’t exchange info. I’m named after a state; live in historic district. The ditch isn’t an issue. Your turn. When: May 28. Where: Jax Jazz Fest. #1654-0614 DOOR GUY CALLED YOU UGLY!? Murder Junkies: 2nd most interesting on Thursday. First: Vivacious artist of hair and canvas; enthralling beauty a precursor to her intriguing character. Blessed with two hugs, but no name. Trying to earn that. When: June 8. Where: Nighthawks. #1653-0614 STROLLING, HUMMING BLONDE U: Very-well-dressed blonde, glasses, long white skirt, garland in hair; went favorite place, Kookaburra, late Wed. afternoon. Me: Tall, dark eyes & hair, green fishing shirt, left T-Mobile, got in blue Altima. Let’s grab coffee! When: June 7. Where: Kookaburra, U.S. 1 S., St. Augustine. #1652-0614 I SAW U READING I SAW U! I asked you if the guy you were with was your boyfriend. You said, “No. Just a friend.” Let’s go grab some craft brew! When: April 26. Where: Aardwolf San Marco. #1651-0510 HUGGED TWICE One year ago; never forget. Best decision ever. Always love everything about you; hot body by mine. Let’s take it to the tube top the rest of our lives. Weally sewious. You ask, I’d say yes. Always a pleasure Mr. ... When: May 2016. Where: 5 Points. #1650-0503 BARTENDER WANNABE TEACHER You wanted to impact young minds as a teacher. I suggested fixing shattered wrists as a doctor. On second thought, how about making a huge impact as my date? I was the only guy at brunch bar. When: March 25. Where: Best Brunch, I-295 & 9A. #1649-0405 “IRISH LASS” USHER You: blonde, blue-eyed, Kelly green dress. Me: tall, shy, warm-up band member. On rehearsal break, we SU two in balcony, raced up. We shared a bottle of fake Crown (I lied). I’ll find you, love you forever. When: Unsure. Where: Florida Theatre. #1648-0322 ENC-1102 LOVE You: German nose; matched mine. Brown eyes entranced me. Me: Awkward, yellow-haired female. Someone took your seat; you sat beside me. We watched “The Room.” Best time I ever had. May I hold your hand forever? When: March 2015. Where: FSCJ. #1647-0315

*or any other appropriate site at which folks can engage in a civil union or marriage or whatever … AUGUST 16-22, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37


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38 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 16-22, 2017

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FOLIO VOICES : BACKPAGE EDITORIAL

EMPEROR DONATELLO TRUMPOLINI’S 1456 SPEECH TO THE SCROLL WRITERS OF MAINZ TRANSLATED and TRANSCRIBED by Johnny Masiulewicz

“I’m proud to be a scroll writer’s daughter” — Lucretia Lynnetti [ MAINZ, HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE ] In an electoral victory stunning even by 1456 standards, Donatello Trumpolini defeated Hilaria Clintonocci for the Holy Roman Empireship. Having run on a platform puzzlingly focused on the Empire’s struggling scroll industry, Trumpolinni returns to the electorate of Mainz for a post-election rally. Once the epicenter of a robust scroll-producing culture, Mainz has been heavily affected by the demise of scroll. Pundits attribute this to an overall downturn in the industry, but are also quick to point out that Mainz is the home base of Johannes Gutenberg’s burgeoning printing press business. THE EMPEROR: Thank you. [Applause.] They love me. Listen to that. You love me. They know I won the Electoral Diet. Huge victory. Period. I could stand in the middle of the Filzengraben and shoot someone with a crossbow and they’d still love me. These hard-working Holy Roman Empirites. The proud vassals and serfs of Mainz. How about Mainz, right? Intellectual center of the HRE. That stands for Holy Roman Empire. Most people don’t know that. I do. I have the best intellect. Intellect spreads from Mainz like the Black Death, right? For generations, Mainz has been the center of intellectual spreading because of the scroll industry. Built on the backs of the scroll writers. I should be a scroll writer. Could I? How hard could it be if I could do it? But now, folks, I’m telling you, we’ve got what can only be called a war on scroll. A war, who wants a war? The lamestream media outlets, the leftist town criers, they know who they are, say that printing press jobs have eclipsed scroll jobs, that there are only about 40,000 scroll jobs left in the entire empire. My predecessor did everything he could to intensify the war on scroll. He signed executive orders creating regulations that shut down hundreds of scroll plants and blocked the construction of new ones. He prohibited scroll writing on federal lands. And then there’s all that cheap scroll from China and Pakistan. And now this court jester Johannes Gutenberg, who is this guy?, says that because of the printing press, scrolls will be replaced by books and pamphlets and broadsides. They’re calling scroll writing a dying industry. They’re saying that printing books is more important than the scroll writers being able to feed their children. Can you believe it? That’s what people are saying, but I say it’s all FAKE EDICTS. And what about Greedy Gutenberg? Greedy Gutenberg. Should I say it? I’m not gonna say it … no, I can’t say it. Gutenberg, I’m sure he’s really good at making deals. No, I can’t say it. But these are deals that take the scroll writing jobs from the hardworking vassals of Mainz. We’re going to get those scroll writers back to work, not only here in Mainz but in every feudal estate of the empire. Those scroll writers in Regensburg and

Magdeburg, and the scroll writers of Prun and Turckhein, which was so great to me last week, and Worms, funny name Worms, and all over are going to start to work again, believe me. They are going to be proud again to be scroll writers. Hey, look, there’s my Moor. Can you get a good look at my Moor? The Moors love me. Have you seen the inner cities? They’re absolute war zones. Wave hi to my Moor. He’s a good Moor. We are kicking off a new crusade that will bring scroll back—I have the best crusades— back as the main media, the main vehicle for information for the people. And, believe me, it’s going to be very clean scroll. Don’t let the FAKE TOWN CRIERS tell you there is no such thing as clean scroll. People are saying, I promise you, people tell me all the time about clean scroll. Nobody’s ever called a printing press clean. Oh my God, have you seen these things? Nothing clean about them. And have you heard about this first major project Greedy Gutenberg wants to do? The Bible. He wants to print the Bible on his printing press. He wants to make the Bible accessible to everyone. To the common man. I know, believe me, there is nobody more common than me. I don’t want to read the whole Bible. Who has time for that? It’s a whole book. We don’t need to read a whole book to learn about dining with harlots and nails in the hands and blessed cheesemakers. We’ve got the priests to tell us all we need to know about the Bible. I’ve got the best priests. They said to me, “Our Liege, we want to tell the common man all he needs to know about the Bible, and you are such a common man.” They said that. They say a lot of things in the war on scroll like the scroll industry is in a death spiral. They say the scroll jobs aren’t coming back, that I’m selling a fantasy to a depressed economic region of a scroll-based revival that is never going to come. FAKE PAPAL BULLS. I, Donatello J. Trumpolini, say it will come. And only I can make it come. Only I can rescue the scroll industry. Believe me, I am the guy who is going to bring back the scroll jobs. Because this is it. Donatello J. Trumpolini is that man, I’m telling you. When I’m not here with you people, I am sitting in my office in the White Castle, it’s a dump, but you knew that, quill in hand, waiting to sign into law anything that does away with the government’s scroll-killing regulations. Who wants regulations? I am ready to open new and better scroll plants, the best in the world, nobody knows how to build plants like I do, and open more public lands to scroll writing. I am ready to fight, to joust if you will, not only for the scroll writers of Mainz, but for the scroll writers from every single corner of the empire. We’re gonna joust in ÖselWiek. We’re gonna joust in Dorpat and Kriechingen. We’re gonna joust in Lower Saxony, hot wenches there,

until the glorious scroll industry returns to its glorious days when scroll ran the glorious engine of the entire world. I just wanna thank everyone in the room. You’re all beautiful people, we talked about that, I called you that. Especially all my scroll writers, beautiful hardworking scroll writers. You’re all gonna be back to work, feeding your families, making more pfennigs per hour than ever before. I promised you that and I’m keeping my promises, I always do, ask anybody. People are talking all the time, they say that Donatello Trumpolinni always keeps all his promises. I’m the most honest liege I know. So thank you, thank me, believe me. God bless the scroll writers, and God bless the Holy, and God bless the Roman, and the Empire, because it’s three things in the name but it’s actually one thing with three names, likeKentucky Fried Chicken, most people don’t know that, I know that. #MHREGA Johnny Masiulewicz mail@folioweekly.com _____________________________________ Masiulewicz is a writer and journalist in presentday St. Johns.

AUGUST 16-22, 2017 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 39



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