Farewell From The Depths by Folio Weekly

2 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 19-25, 2018

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THIS WEEK //12.19.18-12.25.18 // VOL. 32 ISSUE 38 12

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FAREWELL FROM THE DEPTHS A mermaid and a city say goodbye to Wolf’s Museum of Mystery STORY BY GEORGIO VALENTINO COVER PHOTO BY STEVE ANTON

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EDITOR • Georgio Valentino georgio@folioweekly.com / ext. 115 SENIOR EDITOR • Marlene Dryden mdryden@folioweekly.com / ext. 131 CARTOONIST • Jen Sorensen, Ed Hall CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Susan Clark Armstrong, Rob Brezsny, Nicole Carroll, Josué Cruz, Julie Delegal, A.G. Gancarski, Jake Gerken, Dan Hudak, Scott Gaillard, Jason Irvin, Josh Hodges, Shelton Hull, Danny Kelly, Mary Maguire, Keith Marks, Pat McLeod, Nick McGregor, Dale Ratermann, Ryan Reno, Alan Scully, Brentley Stead, Chef Bill Thompson, Caroline Trussell, Dima Vitanova Williams, Marc Wisdom, Madeleine Peck Wagner VIDEOGRAPHERS • Doug Lewis, Ron Perry

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FROM THE EDITOR

BITER

EAT WELL, BUT EAT WISELY this holiday season, dear readers, for the food on your plate ain’t what it used to be. Product recalls are becoming a staple on newspaper pages, which only proves that regulation is part of a healthy diet. Last week, Del Monte Foods announced a recall of more than 60,000 cans of seasoned corn, due to “under-processing.” Via its spin doctors at Coyne PR, the industrial food giant emphasized that “there have been no reports of illness associated with these products to date” but also advised that said products may or may not have been contaminated “by spoilage organisms or pathogens, which could lead to life-threatening illness if consumed.” The suspect corn has already been distributed across 25 states, including Florida, as well as 12 international markets. The news comes on the heels of last month’s massive Romaine lettuce recall. That incident did lead to dozens of reported illnesses. And the company responsible for the tainted produce, Adam Bros. Farming Inc., just announced another recall. On Dec. 13, the California company advised—“out of an abundance of caution,” of course—that consumers in 15 states should avoid its red and green leaf lettuce and cauliflower like the plague. (Florida does not seem to be affected this time.) These recalls are a direct result of industrial deregulation. The Trump administration has cut funding to the USDA and FDA, the bodies responsible for holding food producers accountable when it comes to health and safety standards. At the same time, it has given aid and comfort to multinationals like Monsanto, delaying legal regulations and offering loopholes and

incentives. The ongoing dismantling of the EPA not only spells disaster for the environment, it threatens to re-introduce pesticides that could contaminate the food we eat. Most Republicans love to argue that there are “free-market solutions” to this and every other problem. Some really believe it. It’s comforting to think that national and even international economies are as simple, as transactional, as mathematically coherent as balancing your personal checkbook. And the closer you get to the ground level, the more that might hold true. But free-market solutions only work when consumers are given credible and timely information on which to base their purchasing decisions. When we zoom out to the national and multinational level, we find the action infinitely more complex and often entirely opaque to the end consumer. In these cases, “buyer beware” is worse than a useless mantra; it’s downright harmful. It gives consumers a false sense of agency and undermines support for vital regulatory bodies, like the FDA and EPA, which have been left to die on the vine. The full effects of carcinogenic pesticide contamination might not be felt, for example, for decades. By then, it will be too late to get a refund—and too late to vote out the “leaders” under whose watch we were poisoned. These recent food recalls are just the early indicators of a looming food-safety crisis. We need to stop seeing “regulation” as a dirty word and start holding Big Ag accountable through the only mechanism robust enough to do the job: not our meager pocketbooks, but the government that is supposed to represent us. Georgio Valentino georgio@folioweekly.com @thatgeorgioguy

BEWARE? Food recalls reveal DANGERS OF DEREGULATION

DECEMBER 19-25, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5

NEON JUNGLE ZOOLIGHTS

Jacksonville Zoo & Gardens lights up again this season. Every year the grounds get decked out in festive décor and become a giant stage for family-friendly holiday activities. There are even nightly visits from Santa Claus himself. Added bonus: this weekend, guests are invited to show off their tacky holiday sweaters. Through Jan. 5, Jacksonville Zoo, zoolights.jacksonvillezoo.org, $8-$15. WED

OUR PICKS RUN AWAY WITH...

FRI

VENARDOS CIRCUS

Former Ringling Bros. Ringmaster Kevin Venardos brings his big top back to St. Augustine for 50 performances. A blend of vintage charm and contemporary spectacle, this circus boasts aerialists, acrobats, jugglers, comedy, derring-do, magic and music. Best of all, Venardos does not exploit animals. Dec. 19-Jan. 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre, venardoscircus.com, $15-$45.

THIS WEEK’S BIGGEST & BEST HAPPENINGS

PAGAN HOUSE PARTY WINTER SOLSTICE SHOW

The Backroom Series presents experimental musicians in intimate settings–house shows! This sixth installment observes the solstice. (Imagine if Igor Stravinsky wrote a Rite of Winter.) Featured artists include New York-based guitarist and composer Lucas Brode, Atlanta’s Majid Araim, Jax noise project Cats to Whip and more. 7 p.m. Friday, Dec. 21, 10721 Indies Dr. N., Arlington, lucasbrode.com, $5 suggested donation.

A WORLD OF FUSION

YEMEN BLUES

Progressive music promoter Avant’s latest offering is a free concert by Yemen Blues, a Tel Aviv-based fusion project led by Ravid Kahalani. The singer has Yemeni roots and mashes up musical motifs from his ancestral homeland as well as West Africa–a celebration of harmony in diversity. The event is hosted and co-sponsored by the Jacksonville Jewish Center. 7 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 20, Jacksonville Jewish Center, Mandarin, avantcurious.org, free with registration.

THU

BROGUE BROTHERS

CELTIC THUNDER X

WED

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THU

Irish vocal group Celtic Thunder celebrates a decade of harmony with this special anniversary show, starring Damian McGinty, Michael O’Dwyer, Emmet Cahill, Ryan Kelly and Neil Byrne (all good Irish names). The quintet performs tunes new and old with various set and costume changes to enhance the mood. 7:30 p.m. Dec. 20, Times-Union Center, fscjartistseries.org, prices vary.

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BRICKBATS + BOUQUETS BOUQUETS TO MAXWELL VAN HOEIJ This weekend, the 15-year-old violin virtuoso accompanies Moscow Ballet in its performance of The Great Russian Nutcracker at The Florida Theatre. Van Hoeij has already made Northeast Florida proud. Not only is he currently concertmaster of Jacksonville Symphony Youth Orchestra’s (JSYO) Philharmonic, he’s a veteran of Itzhak Perlman’s Perlman Music Program Super Strings. Fiddle on, Maxwell!

BOUQUETS TO LISA RINAMAN The St. Johns Riverkeeper joined forces with the Sierra Club last week to urge the Florida Department of Environmental Protection (FDEP) to curb pollution from JEA’s Northside Generating Station. The facility’s discharge permit has expired and Rinaman has warned that its renewal will mean continued contamination of the Lower St. Johns River, “one of the last unspoiled coastal wetlands on the Atlantic Coast.”

BOUQUETS TO NORTH FLORIDA LAND TRUST On Dec. 14, the nonprofit officially handed over ownership of a Spanish-American War fort to the National Park Service. The artillery battery fortification, which sits atop St. Johns Bluff, dates back to 1898. It was slated for destruction to make way for a private home. It took a village to save the historic structure. NFLT spearheaded the effort, which also included the city of Jacksonville and the Delores Barr Weaver Fund. DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? HOW ABOUT A BRICKBAT? Send submissions to mail@folioweekly.com; 50 word maximum, concerning a person, place, or topic of local interest.

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FOLIO VOICES : POLITICS

SEASON’S BEATINGS Notes ahead of a BRUTAL 2019 AS JACKSONVILLE GEARS UP FOR THE HOLIDAYS, IT’S typical that mayoral campaigns are also gearing up—some more obviously than others. All over television right now: Lenny Curry’s latest re-election spot, narrated by First Lady Molly Curry. Mrs. Curry was an effective exponent of the election argument in 2015, but she just might have outdone herself in this 2019 spot. Witness the Curry family, huddled around a Christmas tree, opening presents, all wide-eyed and happy. With that domestic tableau established, the argument boils down to this: the mayor has done a lot, but there’s a lot more to do, and Jacksonville is still on the rise. Money won’t be a problem for Curry. His campaign banked $3 million, and the mayor himself has said that the effort thus far has been a “light jog.” He hasn’t had to stretch too hard to fundraise. In fact, the buy-in that Mayor Curry has from the city’s capital class is something that couldn’t have been imagined in elections since the 2008 crash. Curry has also said the fundraising isn’t an end unto itself. The goal (and here I paraphrase) is getting things done, building and leveraging relationships and finding ways to work together. As we head into 2019, there is at this writing considerable uncertainty as to who the serious candidate might be to face Curry. No disrespect intended to anyone filed, but a word-of-mouth campaign isn’t going to cut it against Curry’s political machine. If you have any dirt buried, they will bring it to the surface, exfoliating and defining you by your worst moments. And if you’re trying to operate in the policy space, it’s “death by a thousand knives,” with Curry allies ensconced on boards and in commissions and on the legislative dais. The gossip gets more lit every week. From speculation about interpersonal relationships to narratives about deals negotiated then rejected, the consensus is, “If you’re not with us, you’ll get shivved by us.” So if you are stepping into the arena against this group, you better have resources. This isn’t the 2015 Alvin Brown re-election, where hired guns who don’t know the score are pushing oppo one news cycle too late. This is the most serious and hardball political operation of the post-Consolidation era. So, to mount a challenge, some preconditions: there needs to be real money, real profile, and a real reason to run. One would have strongly counseled any aspiring city political candidate to have long

ago set up a friendly political committee and stacked checks in there. Even if that candidate wanted to stay in stealth mode through the summer and fall for some insane, poorly advised reason, said candidate would have been well-advised to leak, or have leaked, evidence that there is a legit operation waiting. As it stands, there are rumors that Councilwoman Anna Brosche is going to launch a campaign. People are saying New Year’s Day would be the launch date. This avoids issues like reporting December fundraising, if true. But it also avoids the money itself, the very thing you’d want to have to make your case that the City Hall machine socializes costs, privatizes profits and buys things today that voters won’t live long enough to pay off. (See pension reform and recent infrastructure spends.) Brosche is keeping all her options open, she says. If she launches, what do Democrats do? There are actual Democrats filed right now. Maybe they don’t qualify. But if they do, how can active Democrats abandon a party registrant to back a rogue Republican? Also, word is that surveys are being done, and they show Brosche closer to single digits than the runoff. Rest assured that once/if Brosche launches, the oppo bombs will start to pop. Everything from policy to the personal realm will be shopped and dropped. Councilman Garrett Dennis, meanwhile, is a Democrat and gives some indications of running. A public records request last week called for documents involving the mayor’s office and JEA, the police and fire unions, SMG, and an accounting of everything Brian Hughes has done for the last year. Dennis is clearly willing to attack Curry. He’s the fiercest critic of the administration, its tone and its perceived hypocrisies. And he occasionally gets some retweets for all his trouble. He’s been kissing up to cops more, which is a traditional prelude to a flash of ambition. (Note to those stuffing pols’ stockings this year: definitely think lip balm—’tis the season). But, well, the St. James Building is a gossipy building. Whether he runs for mayor, for supervisor of elections or for council again, rest assured: those walls will and do talk. A.G. Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com @aggancarski

DECEMBER 19-25, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9

NEWS BITES TOP HEADLINES FROM NE FLORIDA NEWSMEDIA

FLORIDA TIMES-UNION WHITHER DOWNTOWN The old Duval County courthouse is a-comin’ down, but city officials are still unsure how best to use the riverfront real estate opened up by its demolition. The Florida Times-Union’s David Bauerlein reported that, on Dec. 12, the Downtown Investment Authority (DIA) “unanimously rejected proposals from developers for a new convention center at the downtown site,” but “[b] oard members did not discuss what to do next with the city-owned land.” Bauerlein quoted board member Ron Moody, who said, “I don’t think there’s any definite plan in place. I think it’s wide open, and we’ll let the market forces react and see if there’s someone else who would come in to develop the property.” The results of the meeting will not please Jaguars owner Shad Khan, who hoped to use a new convention facility to shift the center of gravity eastward, from Downtown proper toward East Jacksonville, TIAA Bank Field and Khan’s own proposed development in that area. Khan and DIA interim CEO Brian Hughes suggested bringing in his boss, Mayor Lenny Curry (oh, yeah, Hughes is also Curry’s chief of staff ), to help generate ideas about the path forward in January. Hughes also anticipates substantial developer interest now that the convention center is nixed and “anything’s on the table.”

ST. AUGUSTINE RECORD ANOTHER HOTEL

The Ancient City’s tourist boom shows no signs of slowing down. In a Dec. 14 story, Sheldon Gardner of The St. Augustine Record revealed the Solla-Carcaba building was purchased by local hotel developer Kanti Patel for $2.25 million. Erected more than a century ago, the registered historic structure once served as a cigar factory; these days it’s home to offices. It will eventually be converted into a hotel, although the timetable is unclear. “[Patel] said on Thursday that he doesn’t know when he wants to open the hotel,” Gardner wrote, “but the project is under design. He plans to have 50 rooms at the hotel and keep the exterior of the building intact.” In the meantime, it’s business as usual for his new office tenants. Almost. “For now,” Gardner added, “[Patel] plans to keep the office spaces occupied, though he has raised the rent on tenants to help afford the building, he said. Troy Blevins, property manager for Patel, said the office rental rates hadn’t been raised in about 17 years, and Patel raised them to market rate. In some cases, that meant raising the rates about 80 percent. Patel waited a few months before raising the rates, Blevins said.”

DAYTONA BEACH NEWS JOURNAL LOWBRED & LOUTISH

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Although Flagler County doesn’t fall within our remit, this news is so alarming that we couldn’t ignore it. The Daytona Beach News Journal’s Matt Bruce recently documented a Flagler County Sheriff ’s Office investigation into threats made by two Flagler Palm Coast High School students against a teacher. The Dec. 10 incident also included racist language. “According to a Flagler County Sheriff ’s Office report,” Bruce wrote, “two 16-year-old classmates, a girl and a boy, used school-issued computers to message back and forth about their teacher during a second-period class Monday morning. The girl, angry that she wouldn’t be allowed to make up some missed classwork, initiated the online conversation by typing, ‘My (N-word) teacher is pissing me off.’” “Later in the conversation, the boy asks, ‘When are we killing her?’ The girl responds, ‘Tonight. I already know her address.’ They then set a time to meet up at the teacher’s home and one of the teens typed, ‘WERE GONNA GET AWAY WITH MURDUR [sic] TONIGHT.’” A teacher notified the school’s dean, who reached out to law enforcement the same day. The sheriff ’s investigation ultimately “deemed their threats weren’t credible.” No charges will be filed, but “[t]he students will have to face a disciplinary hearing, as well as a psychiatric evaluation, which is standard protocol following the February school shooting in Parkland.” Georgio Valentino mail@folioweekly.com

FOLIO NEWS: COMMUNITY

ON NOV. 23, BLACK FRIDAY, THE UNITED STATES Global Change Research Program (USGCRP) released its fourth quadrennial National Climate Assessment. Former vice president Al Gore accused the Trump Administration of burying the report by releasing it on a consumer holiday. But the tone of the document was, in some ways, fitting for Black Friday. All is not well, according to the agency tasked with studying climate change since 1990. Climate change is real and it’s accelerating. Florida, especially, is already feeling its impacts. Among those impacts are dying coral reefs, high-intensity hurricanes, extreme coastal and inland flooding, mosquito-borne illnesses, invasive species and toxic algae blooms. The state’s recent red tide epidemic is an indication of what’s ahead. The phenomenon came to the attention of the public this year, through news headlines and alarming photos of dead, rotting fish strewn across Gulf of Mexico shorelines. Scientists have been studying toxic algae blooms for a lot longer. What we call red tide is just one variety of Harmful Algal Bloom (HAB). The organism that causes red tide is Karenia Brevis, but there are others— some found here in the waters of Northeast Florida—that can be just as deadly and disruptive to local economies. Algae are, of course, natural and normal under natural and normal circumstances. HABs happen “any time you have an excess growth of algae,” said Dr. Larry Brand, a professor at University of Miami’s Rosenstiel School of Marine & Atmospheric Science. That’s when these algae become toxic to living organisms, including people. According to Brand, about 1,500 species of these toxic algae exist all around the world. The active toxin in red tide is Brevetoxin. It can create respiratory issues for humans and animals. It can also kill organisms living in the water, as we’ve seen this past summer. This year, Southwest Florida experienced the worst red tide outbreak since 2006. There is currently a bloom between Tampa Bay and Naples that first appeared in October 2017. Low to medium concentrations still persist in several counties.

FLOOD

TIDE Was red tide JUST THE BEGINNING?

The outbreak has taken a toll on the health of residents there. Brand referenced studies that document a 50 percent increase in hospital visits for respiratory distress and a 40 percent increase in gastrointestinal disorders. While red tide’s K. Brevis is found exclusively in the Gulf of Mexico, there are other organisms that can cause HABs. The blue-green algae Cyanobacteria that inhabits the St. Johns River is also toxic, though its effects are slightly different. And it hasn’t yet erupted into a HAB. Brand described HAB formation as a perfect storm of natural and manmade factors. “While these things do occur naturally, just like blue-green algae, what we’re doing as humans are triggering these blooms more frequently or making them worse,” he said. “You already have [natural] phosphate. What you need is nitrogen. Algae need both nitrogen and phosphorus. So, if you have phosphorous but no nitrogen, then you can’t get a bloom. But now humans are dumping lots of nutrients [nitrogen] into our waterways and down into the West Florida area where the blooms are occurring.” These nutrients come from fertilizer, agriculture and wastewater. “I looked at 50 years of data,” Brand continued. “What I found is, today, the red

tide blooms are 15 times more abundant on average than they were 50 years ago. So in a time span of 50 years, yes, the red tide has gotten worse. Now, if you get 15 times more red tide, you need 15 times more nutrients and I can’t think of any natural sources that have increased that much. What has increased dramatically is the number of people in South Florida.” In addition to researching red tide, Brand is also one of the scientists currently studying Northeast Florida’s blue-green algae—and the hazards it can pose in a HAB. “There’s a bunch of different toxins produced by the blue-green algae,” he said. “The one that people know the most about is Microcystin. This could lead to things like, well, eventually liver disease and liver cancer.” Blue-green algae is also linked to another type of toxin, BMAA, believed to lead to longterm degenerative disorders like Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s disease and ALS. The St. Johns Riverkeeper is aware of the dangers generated by a potential HAB. The local nonprofit is also sensitive to the causes of such HABs. “You really have to stop the pollution at its source,” said executive director Jimmy Orth. The organization is working to prevent a toxic outbreak by reducing the amount of nutrients coming into the waterways. “The thing about the blue-green algae is that what we’ve seen in the St. Johns and other areas, is that can actually be aerosolized,” said Orth. “This means that the toxins can be released into the air when the water is disturbed, putting boaters and anyone near the water at risk.” Such an outcome would be a disaster for both public health and the economy. This year’s red tide outbreak in Southwest Florida has made the environment a hot topic politically—finally. “Our economy is so intricately tied to tourism and what we’ve seen in South Florida has really been a wake-up call,” said Orth. “Obviously, it’s the first time I’ve ever seen politicians debating on who’s going to do a better job at protecting the environment.” Mallory Hopkins mail@folioweekly.com DECEMBER 19-25, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11

FAREWELL FROM THE D EPTHS

A mermaid a city say goo nd a db WOLF’S MU ye to SEU OF MYSTER M Y

hat a difference a tail makes! Trina Mason is at first anxious, but the 26-year-old mermaid performer waxes serene as soon as she wiggles into her Dragon Skin silicone prosthetic. She’s now ready to talk about Wolf ’s Museum of Mystery and its impending end—or, in keeping with the St. Augustine attraction’s carnival sideshow theme, its thrilling conclusion. After an eventful five-and-a-half-year run, the museum of oddities and outsider art is closing the doors of its historic Ancient City abode for good on Jan. 6. Founders Wolfgang and Ali Von Mertz are currently negotiating to acquire a vacant Victorian-era church in upstate New York. They hope to relocate their collection and reopen in 2019. Their odds for success are solid. Wolf insists that WMOM was a hit with tourists to the Ancient City. Without delving into the books, we can verify that his museum had indeed earned a place in the national (even international) network of underground art enthusiasts. The place was even featured

on Travel Channel’s television series Mysteries at the Museum. Online buzz around WMOM is strong and positive. The museum built a community of returning visitors. So it’s not for lack of business that the museum is closing up shop. Wolf suggests it’s rather because his brash, contemporary attraction fell afoul of the conservative St. Augustine establishment. More about that later. First, back to the mermaid. Mason has been an integral part of the WMOM story almost since the beginning, but she will not be joining the Mertzes on their voyage north.Their relationship began during a trying time in her personal life. The South Florida native drifted to Northeast Florida seven years ago. “I found an autistic friend up here on YouTube,” she explained. “We finally met in person and he hooked me up with a mermaid tail. He helped me see that I was [on the spectrum]. The tail put me in my comfort zone. He got me a job as a mermaid for a summer at The Ritz-Carlton [Amelia Island]. I

was Princess Augustina! I learned how to act. The kids had to believe my character. It was great. Then things went bad.” A serious of personal upheavals took her to Orlando and back to her native Miami before finding her way once again to St. Augustine. “The energy of this city is so strong,” she said, intensely. “I knew I wanted to stay here. I couldn’t stay away. It’s tied to the Bermuda Triangle, you know.” That’s when she met Wolf and Ali Mertz. The couple had already set up shop on Charlotte Street, a downtown byway wedged between the waterfront Avenida Menendez and iconic pedestrian artery St. George Street but lacking the sidewalk appeal of either. “When we got here, Charlotte Street was dead,” said Wolf as he sat in the courtyard and stroked his pet chicken, Irma.

By the time Wolf’s Museum of Mystery shuts its doors on Jan. 6, two floors’ worth of out-there art, artifacts and oddities will be either sold or packed in boxes for the voyage to Wolf’s new digs in New York.

story by GEORGIO VALENTINO 12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 19-25, 2018

photos by CHRISTINE COUSART

Mason also branched out into “There had been a bunch of businesses in the different types of sideshow performances. house, but none of them stuck. We did. And She started reading tarot cards on the we helped bring the street to life.” museum’s front porch. Then, in April 2016, Wolf ’s Museum of Mystery opened July, another experiment nearly ended in disaster. 1 2013, as St. Augustine geared up for its Mason had just begun to dabble in firebig 450th birthday celebration. Downtown breathing. During one courtyard spectacle, was a construction site. A lot of businesses she used the wrong fuel and burned her ran out of oxygen. But by the time Mason face. While she sustained no permanent discovered the museum in 2015, WMOM was damage, the story went viral and caused established as an up-and-coming attraction— an uproar. Video circulated among the despite local skepticism. online fire-breathing community, who “Everyone gave us six months,” he accused Mason of ignorance and Mertz laughed. “Nobody predicted we’d last. of negligence. Nobody predicted we’d be on TV. Nobody Mason suggests that same community predicted celebrities like Korn would come hang out here. By the time we turn in our keys failed in its responsibility: “Wolf received in January, it will have been nearly six years so much drama. Straight up. Mostly because since we moved in, and these past months these ‘experienced’ people had the audacity have been some of our busiest.” to attack a new fire-breather instead of The secret to their success is Wolf ’s teaching us.” passion and Ali’s dedication. The couple Mason and the Mertzes weathered run the museum/shop (yes, everything is the episode together, although their for sale) themselves. Wolf is a Georgetown relationship would deteriorate in later graduate and former Air Force lawyer who years for reasons that remain obscure. settled in Northeast Florida with Ali, his wife By the time Wolf announced that his of more than 20 years, after his discharge. museum would be closing, he and Mason Wolf has amassed a mighty collection of were all but estranged. The mermaid still out-there art and artifacts, including paintings communicates with Ali and makes the by Jack Kevorkian and a bible once owned by occasional WMOM appearance. serial killer John Wayne Gacy. The museum “She’s trouble, man,” he said. occupies the entire house. Even the couple’s The decision to close the museum had living quarters are nothing to with converted every interpersonal drama, morning into an though, nor with exhibit. Each room business woes. The has its own theme, building’s lease was WOLF’S MUSEUM OF from the Bathory up for renewal after MYSTERY’S DARK CHRISTMAS bathroom to the five years, and the 2 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 22, Borden bedroom. Mertzes didn’t like 46 Charlotte St., St. Augustine, The place is the terms. wolfsmuseumofmystery.com, $7 also a sanctuary for “The house undomesticated was dilapidated animals. Wolf to begin with,” he doted in particular explained. “It wasn’t on a crippled possum named Freya, now the right place to plant a million-dollar deceased. His new baby is Irma, rescued as a collection. Now the landlord wants us to pay chick from his erstwhile snake-handler. (Irma, to rehabilitate it, to basically invest in a rental it seems, was on the snake’s menu.) property as if we owned it. The problem is, WMOM soon became a beacon for there’s no room to grow here. We’ve learned like-minded lovers of the weird and creepy. a lot of lessons over the last five years. We’re The Medieval Torture Museum opened on going to take those lessons and start fresh. St. George Street in Wolf ’s wake. Sales Our fans will follow.” associate Arianna Campbell regularly There are other forces at work, too. To put it bluntly, the Mertzes are tired of the refers her guests to WMOM. area’s self-righteous conservatism, an ugly “Everything’s always the same around historical legacy that lurks just beneath the here,” she said, “but Wolf ’s is anything but. placid surface of this tourist mecca. Some Let’s face it: typical gets boring, and a lot of god-fearing local yokels suggest that the place people are interested in that darker stuff. is—gasp!—satanic. Wolf ’s is definitely my favorite thing in “There is a certain climate in St. Augustine,” St. Augustine. Hell, Ali and Wolf are some began Wolf, diplomatically, “and you can take of coolest people I’ve ever met.” it or you can leave it. But, yeah, I got tired of Trina Mason, too, was immediately drawn having bible-thumpers out here all the time.” to the old house and its new owners. Mason put it more bluntly: “I’m so “I was a patron of the museum at first,” she tired of people calling this the town of said. “I had a bond with Ali and the possums. Sometimes I would run away there. The place God and then showing people hate and comforted me. I felt safe there. Once I even shame. I want people to be enlightened, fell asleep in the courtyard.” to know that each piece at the museum And it was Ali Mertz who would intervene has its story. There’s no light without dark. in Mason’s personal life and give the onceCan we show some compassion? Haven’t we and-future mermaid a new start. Mason was had enough hatred?” miserable and sleeping on a friend’s couch at Mason, sans mermaid tail, will make her the time. final WMOM appearance Dec. 22, at the “I found myself in a situation I had to get museum’s all-day Dark Christmas shindig. out of,” she recalled. “One day Ali showed up at “A lot of things brought me and Wolf the door and took me away to the museum.” together,” the mermaid and tarot reader said, With her performance experience and “but now we have our own paths. I’m open to willingness to try anything, Mason quickly receive more than ever. I don’t know what’s became a fixture at WMOM. Her mermaid going to happen. The greatest thing [WMOM] tank was installed in the building’s back served me was security and safety. I knew I’d courtyard, and Trina the Mermaid held court never be homeless. Wolf empowered me. Now there regularly. She even started learning the I’m on my own and I’m trying to take that business ropes. light with me wherever I go.” “They taught me how to run a f*cking Georgio Valentino business,” she said. “It’s a lot of work!” mail@folioweekly.com

DECEMBER 19-25, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 13

FOLIO A + E I CURIOSITY COMMUNITY t’s a sunny-but-cold Wednesday, and Shawana Brooks and I are sipping tea and talking about art–specifically about what it means to support and advocate for art and artists, and specifically how Brooks balances the desire to encourage younger artists while creating the space for dialogue with more established artists. The two aren’t mutually exclusive. In her work as the Arts & Culture Developer at Jacksonville’s Main Library and its in-house atelier and gallery, Jax Makerspace, Brooks tries to put her values into action. She aims to engage Jacksonville residents by organizing art shows that touch on many of the facets of contemporary art, from works that might be considered craft to works that exist in the space between fine and street to conceptual and installation art (and this is by no means an exhaustive list). Brooks is curious about the ways that artists work and hopes that by showing them in unexpected configurations, side-by-side, that she also gives them an opportunity to deepen their understanding of their own work. “I’m still learning and [often] they’re learning … so it’s a good way to build something together,” she said. Ties and Knots: Weaving Narratives of Northeast Florida takes textiles as its point of departure. Ubiquitous yet capable of singularity, textiles are among those archaeological items that–when found–are capable of illuminating entire cultures. An overview of Ties and Knots might suggest that, as a city, Jacksonville values humor, style, conservation and experimentation. There are pieces that more closely adhere to a “traditional” view of ornamental textile work, but the exhibit is really intended to showcase artists who are interested in the ways that fabric can be used to express ideas of identity, narrative and psychology. Sharla Valeski’s Mesh Window recalls Yayoi Kusama and Claus Oldenburg. Ahyanna Nakia’s Mahogany Green uses gathered and swagged material to gesture toward fashion and bunting, and it is easy to imagine that future works could make much more use of this sculptural technique. The all-over patterning of Sarah Crooks’ Decent; Dissent; Descend: Into the Springs of RED Pearl River invites the viewer to look more closely. And Fabricio Farias’ The Gospel of Willis comprises Florida creatures, each individually screened onto a piece of felt, then sewn together into a kind of modern tapestry that tacitly nods to process through the repetition/interruption of the forms. Perhaps most surprising, though, are Stephanie Cafcules’ wire forms, which feel as if they defy gravity. They look like tulle that has been made architectural and then set free. The works climb one pillar in the gallery space and also rest on the ceiling. In the scattered, almost organic presentation, they bring to mind the movement of butterflies, or gowns by Iris Van Herpen.

14 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 19-25, 2018

SHAWANA BROOKS strives for inclusion at MAKERSPACE

TIES & KNOTS: WEAVING NARRATIVES OF NORTHEAST FLORIDA Until Jan. 24, Jax Makerspace Gallery, Main Library, Downtown, free Inherently theatrical, semi-translucent with small passages of tone and form created by the overlapping screens, these works activate the space and, yes, beg to be bigger. Some of the pieces in Ties and Knots are clearly in early development phases. They almost cry out to be expanded, rendered absurd and complex or perhaps jewel-like and deliberate. Several of the works teeter on the edge of transformation, especially Claire DeVoe’s handbags. In addition to the handbags, she has several works that reference classical pitcher and vase shapes; these beg to be taken out of their twodimensional presentation and rendered as soft sculptures (perhaps Greyson Perry by way of bulbous amphorae). So, too, do Laura Mongiovi’s works seem to want expansion. Especially a work like

Empire, which evokes the ornate but stern dresses and aesthetic of the Spanish court during the Inquisition (and their plunder of

the Americas). It’s tempting to imagine 17 iterations of this form. Over the course of our tea, Brooks reflects on how she came to occupy her curatorial role, because at its core it’s a mandate to create space and opportunities. “I’ve been thinking about this a lot,” she said. “It’s hard to explain what my art and process are because I want to think about these things, and what art is.” It’s an important conversation for her, because she too identifies as an artist. “Really, my art is the art of communication, in all of its forms. It’s about pulling these things together.” As a poet in Savannah, Brooks was lauded and recognized for her wordsmithing. Here in Jacksonville, too, she has been keen to order her thoughts via her online Facebook “musings.” But her work keeps her busy. In addition to her position at the library, she is the co-founder (with Lee Hamby) of “Art Attack,” the live WJCT talk show that airs about once a month, and she hosts “Shawana’s Salon” on the Essential Culture Podcast Network. There, she is able to give a platform to other female artists of color and their challenges and goals. Additionally, in May 2018, she was the first black woman to be awarded the Cultural Council of Greater Jacksonville’s Robert Arleigh White Award for Advocacy. Thus in addition to working for artists in our community, Brooks also wants to take part in the conversation around the possibilities of art. Because where others see obstacle, she sees opportunity: “I’m privileged in my blackness to advocate for myself.” She is also quick to explain how eager she is to learn, not just about Jacksonville, but also about the history and context of art. “We keep trying to push the boundaries of what the Makerspace is,” she said, “and how it functions for Jacksonville.” Madeleine Peck Wagner mail@folioweekly.com

FOLIO A+E : FILM Newest Lady Macbeth frets her hour AND THEN SOME

BOLD, BLOODY &

RESOLUTE D

espite the title, this Lady Macbeth isn’t exactly the bloodthirsty queen of Shakespeare’s drama. Think D.H. Lawrence meets the Bard, and you’re closer to the subject matter and theme of the 2016 British film by first-time feature director William Oldroyd. It showcases 19-year-old Florence Pugh’s chilling and astonishing performance as the title character. To set the pedigree straight, the film is based on Nikolai Leskov’s 1865 novel which inspired Shostakovich to create a musical adaptation. In 1962, Polish great Andrzej Wajda did his own film adaptation, Siberian Lady Macbeth. Relocated to a remote farmland in mid-Victorian England by screenwriter Alice Birch, the setting, mood and tone of the new film reflect the glumness and grimness of the Russian original. The resultant Lady Macbeth is fascinating and foreboding. Austerity rather than frippery is a key element of this costume drama. The opening scene is a close-up of young Katherine in a wedding dress, singing a hymn as she furtively glances to her right, apparently at her husband. We don’t see him … yet. We next see her in a spare bedchamber where Anna, the black maid (Naomi Ackie), helps arrange her nightgown. Her husband Alexander (Paul Hilton), an older man, enters the room, asks if she’s warm and instructs her to stay inside during the day. Then he tells her to take off her nightdress— not to fulfill his marital duties, it seems, since he gets in bed, and turns away from her. She stands there looking at him … and her future. Only then do we see the film’s title, yet there’s no mention of crew and cast. In short order, we learn Katherine has been bought by Alexander’s stern, remorseless and intimidating father Boris (Christopher Fairbank), to produce an heir for the family land and fortune. No one else is excited about this. In fact, Alexander promptly absents himself from the household, exiting with his father, on ‘business.’ Left alone, with no other company than the timid, fearful Anna, Katherine begins to expand the limits of her confines, wandering the fields and testing the waters, so to speak. She encounters the groomsman Sebastian (musician-turned-actor Cosmo Jarvis), when she rescues terrified young servant Anna from being brutalized by him and his comrades. To Anna’s later dismay, Katherine is flagrant in her disregard for propriety on the home front until Boris returns—his presence threatens to quash her ardor. Boris denounces her, warning that she should be procreating with his son instead of the hired help.

Katherine resorts to strategies worthy of the Scottish queen herself. So Boris dies; keep count, now—One. Katherine plays up the mournful daughterin-law role convincingly enough for neighbors and the local priest, but her husband is nobody’s fool. He detested his father nearly as much as Katherine did, and avoids the old man’s funeral. He shows up later, unsuspected and unannounced, to confront his wife and her lover. Again Katherine proves herself as damned and bloody as that other Lady M, this time to the surprise of the shocked groomsman. Alexander bites the dust—Two. She then throws herself even more into the illicit liaison, as her heights of passion soar while his ebb. It gets even more sticky when the mother of Alexander’s dead mistress appears, dragging the grandchild and designated ward of the absent—or, more precisely, late—Alexander. Lady Macbeth was a star-making role for Florence Pugh, whose most notable appearance so far had been opposite Maisie Williams in The Falling (’14), a critically acclaimed but rarely seen drama about some mysterious activities at a girls’ school. The talented actress has since appeared in works as diverse as Malevolent (horror), The Commuter (thriller) and BBC’s take on King Lear, as Cordelia to Anthony Hopkins’ flawless Lear. Next year, she’ll be Amy March in Greta Gerwig’s version of Little Women, along with Saoirse Ronan, Timothée Chalamet, Emma Watson and Meryl Streep. Lady Macbeth, an early indicator of this talented actor’s future, is impressive on its own merits as well. Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com

NOW SHOWING CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ Can You Ever Forgive Me?, It’s a Wonderful Life and Science Fair currently screen. Throwback Thursday is Ninotchka; Flagler College film professor Thomas Hischak (1939: Hollywood’s Greatest Year) speaks before the movie. First Man and The Dawn Wall start Dec. 18. Lee Weaver presents “Joseph – The Husband of Mary,” as part of his Christmas Act 2; 2 p.m. Dec. 23, $20, 687-8798. 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com. WGHF IMAX Creed II, Mortal Engine, America’s Musical Journey and Polar Express currently screen. Aquaman starts Dec. 20. World Golf Hall of Fame, St. Augustine, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com. SUN-RAY CINEMA Can You Ever Forgive Me?, Roma, Vox Lux and Burning currently screen. Mary Poppins Returns starts Dec. 19. Anna & the Apocalypse starts Dec. 21. 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. DECEMBER 19-25, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15

ARTS + EVENTS

Moscow Ballet brings THE GREAT RUSSIAN NUTCRACKER to Jax. This epic production of the holiday fave features extravagant hand-painted sets, life-size Russian nesting dolls, dancers galore and a special guest: Jacksonville’s very own violin virtuoso, 15-year-old Maxwell van Hoeij. 3 & 7 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 22, The Florida Theatre, Downtown, floridatheatre.com, $31.50-$178.50.

PERFORMANCE

MOSCOW BALLET The historic Russian ballet company features many local ballet students as party children, mice and snowflakes, in its production of the beautiful Great Russian Nutcracker, staged 3 and 7 p.m. Dec. 22 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, $31.50-$178.50, 355-2787, floridatheatre.com. CELTIC THUNDER X The popular dancers stomp on stage, 7:30 p.m. Dec. 20, Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 Water St., Downtown, 442-2929, artistseriesjax.org. NOISES OFF! This popular farce is staged 8 p.m. Dec. 20, 21 & 22 and 2 p.m. Dec. 23, under the capable direction of Tom Fallon, at Players by the Sea, 106 N. Sixth St., Jax Beach, $25-$28, 249-0289, playersbythesea.org. RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER THE MUSICAL This family production is based on the Christmas classic animated feature and all the familiar favorites appear: Santa & the Mrs., Bumble the Abominable Snow Monster, Clarice, Misfit Toys, elves and the reindeer and, of course, that one with ‘his nose so bright’ Rudolph. Staged 7 p.m. Dec. 20, The Florida Theatre, Downtown, $29.50-$49.50. DOWNTOWN DAZZLE The Jacksonville Children’s Chorus presents its fourth annual holiday celebration lighting up its office with lights synchronized to the chorus’ recorded songs of the season, 5:30 p.m. Dec. 20, 225 E. Duval St., free. The celebration runs through New Year’s Eve. A CHRISTMAS CAROL This popular Charles Jones adaptation of Dickens’ morality tale includes ensemble music and holiday songs; staged 8 p.m. Dec. 21, Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 Water St., Downtown, 633-6110, $23.42-$38.42, fscjartistseries.org. FOXFIRE The production looks at Appalachian culture, 7:30 p.m. Dec. 20, 21 & 22; 2 p.m. Dec. 23, Limelight Theatre, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, limelighttheatre.org, $15. MASS The effects of a mass shooting at an office party are examined in Adam Groff’s play. Runs 7 p.m. Dec. 13 & 25, 1 p.m. Dec. 15 & 22, MOCAJax, 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, phaseeight.com, $20.

CLASSICAL, CHORALE

HOLIDAY POPS The Gainesville Orchestra performs, conducted by Evan Haile, 7:30 p.m. Dec. 19, Flagler

16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 19-25, 2018

College’s Lewis Auditorium, 14 Granada St., St. Augustine, 797-2800, emmaconcerts.com. APPALACHIAN CAROLS North Florida Women’s Chorale and Gainesville Brass Quintet perform, 7 p.m. Dec. 28, Cathedral Basilica, free, womenschorale.org.

BOOKS & POETRY

JANE R. WOOD BOOK SIGNING Wood signs copies of her book, Adventures on Amelia Island: A Pirate, A Princess & Buried Treasure, 1-4 p.m. Dec. 26, The Book Loft, 214 Centre St., Fernandina, 261-8991, thebookloft.com.

COMEDY

CARL STRONG This guy just can’t quit. Strong appears 7:30 p.m. Dec. 19 & 20, 8:30 p.m. Dec. 21, and 8 & 9:45 p.m. Dec. 22, The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, 292-4242, comedyzone.com, $15-$18.

ART WALKS, MARKETS

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Local/regional art, produce, live music–Sketchy Raccoon, Mjbaker, Strangerwolf, Elvis Kabong! Dec. 22–under Fuller Warren Bridge, free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com.

MUSEUMS

BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY PARK 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657, beachesmuseum.org. Jeffrey Luque’s Vibrancy & Illumination, through February. CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM Flagler College, 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530. Sky Hopinka’s exhibit, Around the Edge of Encircling Lake, is up through December. CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummermuseum.org. Augusta Savage: Renaissance Woman, on display through April. KARPELES MANUSCRIPT LIBRARY & MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield. #Mylove, Jeffrey Luque’s solo show, exhibits through January, jeffreyluqueart.com. LIGHTNER MUSEUM 75 King St., St. Augustine, 808-7330, lightnermuseum.org. The Amazing Miniature World of Thomas Rahner, through Jan. 1.

CONTINUES ON PAGE 19 >>>

FOLIO A+E : ARTS

an Mairs is wearing his Apex Theatre Studio sweater. One suspects the Jacksonville-based theater-maker always wears Apex gear—after all, the educational drama laboratory is his baby—but it’s a particularly appropriate morning for the apparel. Mairs was a guest on WJCT’s morning show First Coast Connect with Melissa Ross, then he traveled upstream a mile and a half to Folio Weekly world headquarters to discuss his holiday plans. Those plans include a dramatic doublefeature that boasts something for everyone: two matinee performances of the familyfriendly It’s a Wonderful Life, a Live Radio Play and two evening performances of David Sedaris’ edgy, breakout monologue, The Santaland Diaries. The former is made for Apex’s natural audience. Mairs founded the studio five years ago to provide afterschool programs for aspiring actors in elementary through high school. On average, Apex works with roughly 100 students during the school year and an additional 150 in the summer season, when college students come home and participate in Apex activities. “We only work with young artists who really want to do this professionally,” he says. “It’s not a recreational program. [Acting] is a calling, and we make that very clear. We bring in a lot of professional actors who travel. They come and tell the students the kind of work involved. The demands are very clear.” That discipline pays off in the end. According to Mairs: “We’ve been going long enough that some of the students we had five years ago are now in the top conservatory programs. NYU, Carnegie Mellon, University of Michigan.” Mairs resides with his partner in Springville, and Apex was originally headquartered in Jacksonville, but the studio relocated to Ponte Vedra in January 2016. There Mairs saw a growing demand but precious little supply. “I noticed more and more people from St. Johns County coming in,” he says. ”When we produced the rock musical Spring Awakening, I realized about half the cast was from there.” “If you look at the data,” he continues, “you see a lot of families moving to St. Johns

SHOUT TO THE TOP Apex offers SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE this Christmas THE SANTALAND DIARIES 8 p.m. Friday Dec. 21 & Saturday, Dec. 22, Apex Theatre Studio, Ponte Vedra, apextheatrejax.com, $18 IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE, A LIVE RADIO PLAY 2 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 22 & Sunday, Dec. 23, Apex Theatre Studio, Ponte Vedra, apextheatrejax.com, $18 County from the Tri-state area. They come from communities where arts training and education are valued and expected. That’s not necessarily the case in Duval. And there’s already a strong arts magnet in Jacksonville.” The Apex production of Wonderful Life caters to the family audience. And, while most of the studio’s productions spotlight student talent, this holiday weekender is an ideal moment for Apex staff and alumni to shine. “All of our teaching artists are performers,” he says. “So this is an opportunity for us to show students how we work.” Santaland stars Mairs himself; Wonderful Life features a cast of Apex alumni. “It’s a great piece,” Mairs says. “The four actors who recreate the original radio version, they’re all college-age actors who have graduated from our program.” The production promises to be wholesome and uplifting—as all holiday classics should be. The main event, however, is the evening program. Mairs has been performing Santaland at different area venues for 20 years. It’s something of a tradition. The

play is adapted from now-bestselling author David Sedaris’ 1992 essay Santaland Diaries, comprising the wry observations of a costumed seasonal performer at Macy’s Santaland. Mairs plays Crumpet the Elf. “When I started doing it,” he observes, “people were just starting to hear about David Sedaris. Now he’s huge. Santaland was his big break on NPR. In the canon of classic holiday stories, everything is always sentimental and cute. He was running in the opposite direction. It has a kind of cynicism; it’s very sardonic. And people were ready to hear about the stress of Christmas. It obviously hit a nerve, and he just continued.” Last year, Mairs performed Santaland at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall with musical guest Duffy Bishop. “She does all these kinds of twisted takes on Christmas songs,” he laughs. “We totally got along.” This year, he’s invited Bishop back, but he’s moving the party to the intimate studio space of Apex itself. It’s a bawdy play, complete with adult language and situations. When asked if the performance might be too intimate for his apprentices, Mairs scoffs. “Come on,” he chides. “These are sophisticated young people. They’re not the 13-year-old that I was. Their access to information is different. It’s hard to make them blush. The younger kids won’t come, of course. They’ll go to Wonderful Life.” Even in conservative St. Johns County, Mairs makes no concessions to Victorian—or Falwellian—mores. “We always tell people up front what we’re doing and what we’re about,” he explains. “With Santaland, we tell people there’s mature language and themes. But I’m not going to censor young artists. Part of the reason the studio is open is so they can do plays that they couldn’t do in school. Spring Awakening is all about sexual awakening. Art is supposed to be about exploring life.” He pauses, then adds with a smile, “But we do our fair amount of Disney shows, too, so it’s a nice mix.” Georgio Valentino mail@folioweekly.com DECEMBER 19-25, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17

FOLIO A+E : MUSIC

BACK

BASICS

It’s Jordan, however, who has revolutionized the band dynamic. His piano is the most noticeable new ingredient in the music and it helps the band achieve more of the early rock-androll sound that Heath wants to emphasize going forward. Heath points to the title song as well as “Wonky,” “Perfect” and “Got It In My Pocket” as prime examples of Whole New Life tunes that embody the early rock-and-roll spirit. These songs still feature Heath’s guitar work, but Jordan’s driving piano lines and Contreras’ high-octane tempos are edging into the spotlight. Whole New Life, though, is not a one-note album by any means. “Tchoupitoulas Street” is a rare—for Reverend Horton Heat—foray into New Orleans R&B. There’s a bluesy, barrelhouse feel to “Hog Tyin’ Woman,” a tune that continues Heath’s tradition of writing an occasional off-the-wall yarn. The ballad “Don’t Let Go of Me” is one of the few songs that downshifts the tempo, mixing rock and hints of classic R&B over a measured beat. The song also gives Heath the opportunity to showcase his vocal range, as he croons his way through the song’s strong melody. “I’ve been working really hard on my voice,” Heath says. “I should have done it before. I’m singing a little bit higher on this album and I’m showing a little bit more range.” As a lyricist, Heath also brings different themes to Whole New Life. “It’s by far the most positive album I’ve ever written lyrically,” he says. “Most of my stuff is kind of dark and blue, and this one has some positive ideas going on.” The quality of the Whole New Life album is impressive, especially considering it had to be recorded under less-thanideal circumstances. Churilla unexpectedly vacated the drum stool on the eve of the band’s recording session at Modern Electric studio in Dallas.

everend Horton Heat recently played a private event at which singer Jim Heath had an unusual encounter with one of the attendees. “There were these young people there,” Heath recalled in a recent phone interview, “and this young girl came up—and I say young, she was late teens, early 20s—and she said ‘You guys are going to bring back rockand-roll.’” While this youngster wasn’t old enough to bear witness to the Golden Age of Chuck Berry, Jerry Lee Lewis and Little Richard, Heath said her observation was 100 percent correct. “I said [to her] ‘Well, that is the goal. It’s astute of you to notice that’,” Heath said. “That’s what I’m thinking here.” But there’s rock-and-roll and then there’s rock-and-roll. “What I started thinking about lately is just a particular type of rock-and-roll. See, I have a very tight idea of what rock-androll is,” he said. “What I want to do is bring back rock-and-roll. We can play rockabilly. We can play country. We can play our old stuff and whatever is fine. But just straight rock-and-roll—and we have those songs that are on all of our albums—I’m about to start bringing those back. To me, rock-and-roll is that straight-eight, Chuck Berry [with] Johnnie Johnson pounding straight-eights on a rock-and-roll piano, or Little Richard. I’m influenced a lot in my playing by piano players, Jerry Lee [Lewis], and that straighteight kind of feel.” As Heath suggested, he has been recording songs that fit his strict definition of rockand-roll since he formed Reverend Horton Heat in Dallas in the late 1980s. And with the group’s new album, Whole New Life, he’s focusing more on creating songs in the vein of America’s original rock-and-rollers. That isn’t the only thing that makes Whole New Life stand out in the group’s catalog of 12 albums. This disc marks a new era for the band itself. After being a trio for nearly all of its 30-plus-year history, the group is now a quartet, with the addition of pianist/organist Matt Jordan. There’s also a new drummer, Arjuna “RJ” Contreras, who took over just prior to the recording of Whole New Life. Erstwhile drummer Scott Churilla spent a grand total of 16 years behind Reverend Horton Heat’s drum kit—easily the longest tenure of any of the band’s five drummers. Contreras has a palpable command of a variety of rhythm styles, but most important for our purposes, he’s throwing a bit more swing into the Reverend Horton Heat sound. 18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 19-25, 2018

Reverend Horton Heat LEADS A REVIVAL Heath was able to get Contreras on board just in time to learn the material. “On about 10 days’ notice, he learned all of these songs,” Heath explains, adding that the studio session itself lasted a mere two days. “We went in the studio, rehearsed them for a while and recorded it. That was the only way we could do it. It was crazy because we were out of time. We had that time blocked off to do an album. We had to do it or else no album for, like, two years.” With the basic rhythm tracks recorded, Heath then overdubbed guitar and vocal tracks at his own Dallas studio. Jordan also added piano and backing vocals to create the finished tracks for the album. Heath likes what he hears so far from the new quartet. He said he had long thought of adding a piano to the mix, but could never find a keyboard player who was available for the band’s extensive touring schedule. “I really do love Matt,” Heath said. “He’s very positive, and he practices incredibly hard. One day, we had a day off and it was about 50 degrees outside. We were parked in the Kmart parking lot, and he pulled all of his stuff out of the trailer

and pulled this piano out of the trailer and wheeled it out in the parking lot and practiced for, like, five or six hours. He had to go in and get some gloves in Kmart and cut the fingers off so he could play it. It was so cold, I couldn’t believe he was doing it. That’s been great. And our new drummer, RJ Contreras, he’s so great. That’s been something that, really, he came in and just stabilized the whole thing very well. He’s a very stable drummer, and then he brought in his own style a little bit, some of that, the jazz and Latin stuff in there. It’s really cool, man.” Fans can expect to hear the new material when Reverend Horton Heat hits town for Horton’s Holiday Hayride. The set also includes reworked versions of classic Horton jams like “Psychobilly Freakout” and festive interpretations of holiday tunes like George Jones’ “New Baby for Christmas” and Gene Autry’s “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” Alan Sculley mail@folioweekly.com

HORTON’S HOLIDAY HAYRIDE: REVEREND HORTON HEAT, JUNIOR BROWN, THE BLASTERS, BIG SANDY 7 p.m. Friday, Dec. 21, The Florida Theatre, Downtown, floridatheatre.com, $30-$40

ARTS + EVENTS <<< CONTINUED FROM PAGE 16 MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911, mocajacksonville.unf.edu. Gideon Mendel: Drowning World exhibits. Frank Stella Unbound: Literature & Printmaking displays until Jan. 13.

GALLERIES

BOLD BEAN SAN MARCO 1905 Hendricks Ave., 853-6545. Brook Ramsey’s figurative oil paintings. BREW 5 POINTS 1026 Park St., Riverside. Chip Southworth shows bridge-based works in Connections. BUTTERFIELD GARAGE ART GALLERY 137 King St., St. Augustine, 825-4577. The artist for December is Sam Kates. His works exhibit through the month. Small Treasures, Good Things Come in Small Packages, through December. CATHEDRAL ARTS PROJECT 207 N. Laura St., Ste. 300, Downtown, capkids.org. Andrew Kozlowski’s 10,000 Years exhibits through December. CULTURAL CENTER at PONTE VEDRA BEACH 50 Executive Way, 280-0614, ccpvb.org. Jacksonville Coalition for Visual Arts winter show is on exhibit. Artisan Market, with pottery, jewelry, photography and paintings, is open. FLORIDA MINING GALLERY 5300 Shad Rd., Mandarin, 268-4681, floridamininggallery.com. Slamdance Cosmopolis, a collaborative exhibit of works by Matt Allison and Matthew Usinowicz, is currently on display. JENNA ALEXANDER STUDIO 73 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine, 850-384-3084, jenna-alexander.com. Alexander’s new works, Stripes and Buns, display. MAIN LIBRARY’S MAKERSPACE 303 N. Laura St., Downtown. Ties and Knots, an exhibit of contemporary textile works, is up through Jan. 21. RAIN DOGS 1045 Park St., 5 Points, 379-4969. Pleas To Meat You, new works by Stephen “Cryface” Bunnell, Tyler Lewis-Goshen, Brittany Raja, Matt Jaffe and Randall Royal, is up through December. SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 1 Independent Dr., Downtown, southlight.com. Nick McNally’s 8 Visions is currently on exhibit.

THE YELLOW HOUSE 577 King St., Riverside, 419-9180, yellowhouseart.org. Piercing the Veil, Thony Aiuppy’s new, experimental works, are currently on display. STUDIO ZSA ZSA LAPREE 233 E. Bay St., Downtown. Creative Kids Show, through December. THE VAULT@1930 1930 San Marco Ave., thevaultat1930. com. Local abstract painter Princess Simpson Rashid displays her works in Odyssey of Abstraction.

EVENTS

CHRISTMAS IS FOR QUEERS GeeXella and BeBe Deluxe host this party/drag show/dance featuring Moxie Mopp, Noir Budoir, Izzy A’Mon 9 p.m. Dec. 22, Rain Dogs, 1045 Park St., Riverside, 379-4969, $5. KWANZAA CELEBRATION The African Village International’s fifth annual celebration is held 4-8 p.m. Dec. 26, The Ritz Theatre, 829 Davis St., Downtown, 807-2010, ritzjacksonville.com. GINGERBREAD HOUSE EXTRAVAGANZA The 15th annual Gingerbread House Extravaganza is on display 11 a.m.-5 p.m. through Dec. 28, Mon.-Fri., at Jacksonville Historical Society, Old St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church, 317 Randolph Blvd., Downtown, 665-0064, jaxhistory.org. The many houses are created by local chefs, architects, culinary students, engineers and civic organizations as well as locals who just love to create. Proceeds benefit the Society. Admission is $10 for adults, $3 for kids ages 3-16; free for kids under 2. The Victorian Merrill Museum House is open 1-3 p.m. for tours. HOLIDAY ON THE RIVER The annual free concert series continues through Dec. 22 in the Courtyard at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 353-1188, jacksonvillelanding.com. Live performances by local choirs, school kids and dance groups are performed in front of the 56-foot-tall Christmas tree at midday and in the evening. ________________________________________ To list your event, send time, date, location (street address, city/neighborhood), admission price and a contact phone number to print to Marlene Dryden, mdryden@folioweekly. com or 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Space available policy. Deadline noon Wed. for next Wed. printing.

If your dream holiday doesn’t include long lines at the cash register and arguments with blissfully distant relatives, join BEBE DELUXE and GEEXELLA (pictured) for a dance party. CHRISTMAS IS FOR QUEERS is a festivus for the rest of the rest of us. 9 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 22, Rain Dogs, Riverside, $5.

DECEMBER 19-25, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 19

BE A READER O

PREVIEW BALLOT AT FOLIOWE

VOTING Starts Wednesday, December 26, 201 WINNERS Announced in the Wednesday, AUTOMOTIVE Best Auto Body Shop Best Auto Detailer Best Auto Service / Repair Shop Best Car Wash Best New Car Dealership / Asian Import Best New Car Dealership / Domestic Best New Car Dealership / European Import Best Tire Store Best Used Car Dealership

BEAUTY Best Barber Best Day Spa Best Hair Salon Best Hair Stylist Best Laser Hair Removal Best Lash Extensions Best Nail Salon Best Tanning Salon Best Waxing Studio

EDUCATION Best Charter Elementary School Best Charter High School Best Elementrary School Best Middle School Best High School Best Kindergarten Best Private School

ENTERTAINMENT Best Actor Best Actress Best Art Festival Best Art Gallery Best Band - Cover Band Best Band - Original Music Best Club DJ 20 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 19-25, 2018

Best Comedian Best Community Theater Best Concert Venue Best Dance School Best Female Vocalist Best Food Festival Best Karaoke Night Best Large Band / Orchestra Best Male Vocalist Best Movie Theater Best Museum Best Music Festival Best Musician Best Nightclub Best Open Mic Night Best Parade Best Performing Dance Group Best Pirate Group Best Place to Hear Local Musicians Best Reenactor Group Best Visual Artist

GROCERY Best Farmers Market Best Grocery Store Best Health Food Store

HEALTH & FITNESS Best 5K Best Gym Best Massage Studio Best Pilates Studio Best Yoga Studio

HOME IMPROVEMENT Best Bathroom Remodeler Best Carpet Cleaning Service Best Flooring / Carpet Store Best Garden Store / Nursery Best Heating & Air Conditioning Company

Best Home Improvement Contractor Best Kitchen Remodeler Best Pest Control Best Pool Maintenance Best Roofing Contractor

HOUSING Best Apartment Community Best Condo Community Best Home Decor Store Best Moving Company Best New Community Best Real Estate Agency Best Real Estate Agent Best Residential Builder

ISSUES Best Environmental Activist Best Reason to Love St. Augustine Best Nonprofit Organization Best Thing to Happen to St. Augustine Best Use of Local Public Money Best Volunteer Effort Best Cause Worst Environmental Abomination Worst Thing to Happen in the Last Year Worst Waste of Local Public Money

KIDS & FAMILY Best Local Attraction for Kids Best Child Care Best Family Entertainment Best Kid-Friendly Restaurant Best Kids Clothing Store

LAWYERS Best Criminal Lawyer Best Divorce Lawyer

Best DUI Lawyer Best Family Lawyer Best Law Firm / Lawyer Best Marijuana Lawyer Best Personal Injury Lawyer

MEDICAL Best Acupuncturist Best Assisted Living Facility Best Chiropractor Best Cosmetic Surgeon Best Dentist Best Dermatologist Best Eye Clinic Best Hearing Aid Store Best Medical Marijuana Clinic Best Orthodontist Best Urgent Care Clinic

MONEY Best Bank Best Credit Union Best Insurance Agent Best Mortgage / Home Loan Provider

PEOPLE Best County Commissioner Best Community Activist Best Personality Best School Board Member Best Social Justice Crusader Best Weirdo Worst Local Zero

PET PARENTING Best Animal Hospital Best Dog Park Best Pet Accessories Store Best Pet Day Care / Overnight Boarding Best Pet Groomer

OF INFLUENCE

EEKLY.COM/SAINTAUGUSTINE

18 | Ends Midnight, Friday, January 11, 2019 January 30, 2019 Issue of Folio Weekly RETAIL Best Antique Store Best Bookstore Best Boutique Best Consignment Store Best Cupcake Store Best Florist Best Frozen Yogurt / Ice Cream Best Furniture Store Best Gift Shop Best Jeweler Best Liquor Store Best Mattress Store Best Outlet Mall Best Record Store Best Smoke Shop Best Thrift Store Best Vape Shop Best Wine Shop Best Women’s Clothing Store

SPIRITUAL Best Church Best Synagogue

SPORTS & RECREATION Best Bait & Tackle Shop Best Bicycle Shop Best Dive Shop Best Fishing Tournament Best Golf Course Best Karate Studio Best Kayak Shop Best Public Park Best RV Sales & Service

TOURISM Best Attraction Best Beach Best Bed & Breakfast / Inn

Best Carriage Ride Best Historic Architectural Structure Best Hotel / Motel Best Place to Take Out-of-Town Guest Best Train / Trolley Tour Best Walking Tour Best “Historic” Street Best Graveyard Best On The Water Tour

WEDDINGS Best Bridal Registry Best Place to Get Married Best Reception Entertainment Best Rehearsal Dinner Restaurant Best Wedding Cakes Best Wedding Florist Best Wedding Photographer Best Wedding Photo Spot Best Wedding Planner

WINE & DINE Best American Restaurant Best Bagels Best Bakery Best Barbecue Restaurant Best Barista (Name & Workplace) Best Bartender (Name & Workplace) Best Beach Bar Best Breakfast Best Brewery Best Brunch Best Burger Best Burrito Best Catering Best Chef (Name & Workplace) Best Chicken Wings Best Cocktail Selection

Best Coffeehouse Best Desserts Best Diner Best Dive Bar Best Doughnuts Best Family Restaurant Best Fine Dining Restaurant Best Fish Camp Best French Fries Best Fried Chicken Best Gastropub Best Gluten-Free Menu (Name Restaurant) Best Happy Hour Best Hot Dog Best Italian Restaurant Best Japanese Restaurant Best Late Night Menu Best Locally Owned Restaurant Best Margarita Best Martini Best Meal Under $10 Best Mexican Restaurant Best New Bar Best New Restaurant Best Organic Restaurant

Best Oysters Best Pastries Best Pizza Best Pub Best Restaurant Server (Name & Workplace) Best Ribs Best Seafood Restaurant Best Shrimp Best Smoothie Best Sports Bar Best Steak Place Best Sub Sandwich Best Sushi Restaurant Best Vegan / Vegetarian Restaurant Best Waterfront Dining Best Wine Bar Best Wine List

CAMPAIGN TO WIN With 27 years of voting for the Best of Jax, our readers are eager to now exercise their inﬂuence in Folio Weekly’s very ﬁrst BEST OF SAINT AUGUSTINE. From People and Local Makers, from Wine & Dine to Attractions, the 250 CATEGORIES of the 2019 Best of Saint Augustine will be in THREE PHASES: NOMINATING, VOTING and HALL OF FAME. Download your free campaign kit at FOLIOWEEKLY.COM/CAMPAIGNKIT.HTML For more information contact your account manager or SAM TAYLOR at (904) 860-2465 or Sam@folioweekly.com DECEMBER 19-25, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 21

PICKS

BY DALE RATERMANN

MAIL@FOLIOWEEKLY.COM

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS MY TWO FRONT TEETH

JACKSONVILLE ICEMEN VS. SOUTH CAROLINA STINGRAYS

Every Wednesday night hockey game for the Icemen is “Weekend Wednesday.” Select beer and wine are just $2 a pop. 7 p.m. Wednesday, Dec. 19, Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., jacksonvilleicemen.com, $10-$48.

WED

19 HHOOPS, I DID IT AGAIN

PROVIDENCE CHRISTMAS CLASSIC PR

SAT

The fifth annual Providence Christmas Classic features four boys’ high school basketball teams: Providence, Bishop Kenny, Central Florida Christian sch Academy and Rockledge. Friday, Dec. 21: 5:30 p.m. Bishop Acad FRI Kenny vs. CFCA; 7 p.m. Rockledge vs. Providence; Saturday, Kenn Dec. 222: 5:30 p.m. Consolation Game; 7 p.m. Championship Game, Providence School, 2701 Hodges Blvd., prov.org, $2-$5.

LINE UP ALPHABETICALLY BY HEIGHT ST. AUGUSTINE GLORY VS. 305 BALLERS

Catch some pro basketball action with the local Glory playing host to the Ballers, an ABA Southeast Region foe out of Miami. 7 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 22, Flagler College Gymnasium, 12 Granada St., St. Augustine, saglory.com, $5-$10.

THU

20 MERRY SWISHMAS

UNF OSPREYS WOMEN’S BASKETBALL HOLIDAY CLASSIC

Watch two local women’s basketball teams play doubleheaders on back-to-back days, all in the friendly confines of the UNF Arena. Thursday, Dec. 20, 2 p.m. Jacksonville University vs. Warner University; 2 p.m. University of North Florida vs. Alabama A&M. Friday, Dec. 21, noon JU vs. Alabama A&M; 2 p.m. UNF vs. Warner, UNF Arena, unfospreys.com, free. SUN

23 FREE TICKETS!

JAGUARS VS. MIAMI DOLPHINS

A free Jaguars watch party with a day party vibe. Food, music and football! The host is Jacksonville Urban Trendsetters. Noon-5 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 23, Myth Element Bistro & Craft Bar, 333 E. Bay St., Downtown, facebook.com/ JaxUrbanTrendsetters, free tickets at eventbrite.com.

22 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 19-25, 2018

FOLIO A+E : FILM

WHATEVER A SPIDER CAN T

his new SpiderMan: Into the Spider-Verse is a bold, blissfully fun jolt of imagination. The animation is crisp and colorful, the story is endlessly creative, and the execution is top-notch. This is not only the best animated film of 2018, it’s one of the best movies of 2018, period. It’s not part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s recent Avengers saga, which introduced Spidey relatively late in the game, but the new movie does draw from those films (and the earlier Spider-Man flicks starring Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield). Spider-Verse centers on teenager Miles Morales (Shameik Moore), who idolizes Spider-Man (Chris Pine) like so many other youngsters do. Miles also loves graffiti. He isn’t a great student, and he has a crush on Wanda (Hailee Steinfeld). His policeman dad (Brian Tyree Henry) is a strict disciplinarian, so he spends a lot of time with his “cool” Uncle Aaron (Mahershala Ali). He was with Aaron one night, in fact, when he was bitten by a radioactive spider. This bite of fate gives Miles Spider-Manesque powers. Soon, circumstances propel Miles into trying to help the original Spider-Man stop Kingpin (Liev Schreiber) and Green Goblin (Jorma Taccone) from opening a portal to alternate dimensions. They fail. Spider-Man dies, and the world as Miles knows it becomes … different. He must destroy the portal before the world changes forever. In the nick of time, he gets unexpected help. A new Spider-Man (Jake Johnson), Spider-Man Noir (Nicolas Cage), Peni Parker (Kimiko Glenn), Spider Gwen (Steinfeld again) and Spider-Ham (John

Mulaney) enter Miles’ world through the portal and help him save the day. The catch? They can’t stay in that world for very long or they’ll die. Other villains include Scorpion (Joaquin Cosio), Tombstone (Marvin Jones III) and Doc Ock (Kathryn Hahn). And because no Spider-Man story would be complete without them, Mary Jane (Zoë Kravitz) and Aunt May (the venerable Lily Tomlin) show up, too. What’s really great about this new film, which was written by Phil Lord (21 Jump Street) and directed by Bob Perischetti, Peter Ramsey and Rodney Rothman, is how it ingeniously builds on what is familiar. We know the big-screen Spider-Man story quite well by now, and the way Spider-Verse takes that knowledge and expands it into so much more is creative nirvana. Better, it does so in ways that make narrative sense; there are no loose ends. And, of course, the animation is superb. Throw in a soundtrack of pop hits and some very funny moments, and you have a film that anyone of any age can enjoy. There have been seven Spider-Man films made since 2002. And some of them have been quite good. This one, however, is the very best of the bunch. I’ve never read a comic book (and don’t intend to start) (no harassment, thank you), but at the screening I attended, I sensed that many in the audience had read a comic book or 12—these fans of the comics loved the twists and surprises. Yet, having known only the movies, I loved them, too. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is two hours of unbridled adrenaline that’s full of innovation. It’s an absolute blast to watch. Dan Hudak mail@folioweekly.com

New Spider-Man animated movie SCORES

DECEMBER 19-25, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23

he year is finally winding down, and many of us couldn’t be happier. It was a complete pile of burning garbage for many reasons, but there were plenty of positive developments on the local music scene. Perhaps you enjoy slamdancing to the strains of metal. Maybe you love to get an earful of meditative synth jams. Or you might be looking for that rare group that can turn a live show into a transcendent experience. Whatever your preference, there are many great options out there for someone who needs a little local music in their lives. When it comes to local live performances, no one can beat the hardest-working musicians in the area: DigDog. The group is led by the legendary Brad Metz, who’s been performing throughout Northeast Florida for more than 20 years in a number of groups. Metz is joined by the equally legendary Jack Ringca, a kinetic drummer who’s played with so many people, he has most likely been a member of your band at one point in time. These two wild men take over the stage at each performance, sharing stories about aliens, bees and other ephemera, making every performance lively. The group is rounded out by the lightning-fast bass work of Alexei Dotsenko. He may not say much on stage, but he is most certainly an amazing performer when it comes to the group’s fastpaced “party prog” songs. If you haven’t seen them yet, then you haven’t been to a show at Rain Dogs, Nighthawks, Shantytown or any of the other many clubs around the region. Yes, 2018 was a particularly great year for this group, as they finally released their first full-length album, There’s Bees in There. This CD features such live favorites as “Small Town,” “March of the Crusaders,” “My Baby” and “Mad at the World,” as well as the title track. When you hear this record, it’s hard not to compare DigDog’s music to that of groups like Ween and Pavement. That would be doing the album a disservice. What DigDog really offers with There’s Bees in There is a distinct sound you’ll never hear from other local musicians. Some of the songs are incredibly thoughtful; others showcase the abstract silliness that many of us have come to love from this group. The next time you read about one their shows, make it your solemn

STATE SCENE

OF THE

FOLIO A+E : MUSIC

Local music is ALIVE and WELL and living in Northeast Florida

duty to attend. You won’t regret it. And pick up a copy of this album while you’re there. You can also stream it on Spotify. Another performer you need to see as soon as possible is the sphinx-like solo artist Severed+Said. Go to his live show and you can find Jacksonville stalwart John Touchton behind a bank of synthesizers with a glass a wine, wearing loud buttoned-down shirts, focusing on making each song special. At the end of it all, you get a feeling you just left the altar after some mythical ritual, as the sounds of sequenced patterns and drum machines bounce around your head like neon balls from a Technicolor gashapon. This year, Severed+Said released the fantastic cassette tape, Incorporeality, on LA’s Not Not Fun Records. A mix of synthwave and electronic meditation, it creates a mood that’s perfect for an evening traipsing around Downtown Jacksonville or a chill morning enjoying a hot cup of tea around the house. “Pyretic Dreams” is the standout track from the album. This song could easily be found on the soundtrack of a low-budget 1980s horror movie. It would also make a wonderful addition to a chill-out playlist for those quiet moments at 2 a.m., when you just can’t stand to stare at the TV screen but still have a need for a little sound before falling asleep. A video was also made for this track. Other excellent tracks from this tape

include the near-industrial “Dimensional Drifter,” the darkwave “Crescendo Macabre” and the Berlin School-style drone track “Psychic Incision.” If you haven’t already gotten your hands on this tape, act fast. There remain only three copies in Severed+Said’s Bandcamp inventory. Talent runs in the Touchton family, it seems—John’s brother Josh performs under the name Virgin Flower. He may not have released a hot tape this year, but Virgin Flower has kept plenty busy with live performances. He’s no shrinking violet, either. These shows are infamous for being anarchic and wild, with Touchton displaying the confrontational sensibilities of James Chance & the Contortions on local music stages. Instead of using a saxophone as Chance does, Touchton wields his trusty sampler to spit out abrasive loops and distorted live vocals. Many audience members discretely plug their ears to filter out some of the static sounds washing over them like a tsunami during these proceedings—a reaction that Touchton wears as a badge of honor. Meanwhile, on the metal scene, few performers can match the intensity of Wørsen. This blackened crustgrind group performs throughout Florida, bringing a combination of grindcore, black metal and power metal to the stage. This is another act that has been known to force concertgoers to plug their ears, though even more aggressively. If you like your metal as loud as possible, this is a great act to catch. When performing locally, they share the stage with other metal bands as well as goth and noise acts. Wørsen also put out a great cassette tape this year. In October, their second studio release, Stronghold, dropped on Dead Tank Records. You can always trust label head Josh Jubinsky to have his finger on the pulse of the Northeast Florida metal and punk scene. This tape is relentless in that way only metal can be. As the first track, “Into the Stronghold,” comes in, the listener is greeted with the sound of (approximately) 100 guitars blasting in unison and a legion of drums that might cause cardiac arrhythmia. The second track, “Defensive Isolation,” brings lead singer Tyler Barney’s tortured screams to the forefront. The album continues to abuse until “Flesh

Photo by Devon Sarian

Prog-punk trio DigDog’s 2018 album There’s Bees in There marries slacker rock and dry humor to raw musical virtuosity.

24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 19-25, 2018

Solo synthwave artist Severed+Said, aka John Touchton, continues to release cassette tapes filled with unique, retroelectro sounds.

Photo by boboRose

Paradox” gives momentary respite, then it plunges back into breakneck territory. Is that it? No, dear reader, this is only a glimpse into the amazing local music scene. There have been plenty of other fantastic performances and releases this year which we couldn’t have ever crammed into the column space allotted, such as the return of folk legend Kevin Lee Newberry. Newberry dived back into music by offering custom cassette tapes, each featuring original music written for the person who purchased the tape. There were great shows by Kisses Only, Deathwatch ’97 and Shawn and Anna Lightfoot. Then there was the debut of Zygrot-24, a synth punk ruckus that evokes— duh!—the chemical for which it was named. The new band’s Nov. 4 set at The Island Bar was one of the best punk performances of

Photo courtesy of Wørsen

Jax metalcore outfit Wørsen makes ears bleed with sophomore album Stronghold. Their live show is a barrage of sound that just might cause cardiac arrhythmia.

2018. Lasting a too-short expanse of about 15 minutes, it ended when the synth player had to run outside to puke over the balcony, for all of Roosevelt Boulevard traffic to see. The next time someone tries to tell you there’s no good local music, it’s your solemn duty to correct them. Plenty of amazing Northeast Florida performances are met with indifference by a crowd that would rather be seen by their peers than take time out and actually hear a passionate artist. There are also amazing recordings that must be given a sincere listen. So go see your friends’ bands when they play Rain Dogs, Nighthawks, Prohibition Kitchen, Sarbez, Flying Iguana or any other local venue. You might find yourself having a great time. Jason Irvin mail@folioweekly.com

DECEMBER 19-25, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25

CONCERTS Jax Beach welcomes the legendary Bad Brains singer HR, 8 p.m. Wednesday, Dec. 19. The date marks the end of a fairly comprehensive tour of Florida (seven dates in just as many days). Surfer the Bar, Jax Beach, surferthebar.com, $24.99

LIVE MUSIC VENUES

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA The SALTY PELICAN, 12 N. Front St. Davis Turner Dec. 19. Amy Vickery Dec. 21. Hupp N Ray Dec. 22. Sam McDonald Dec. 23. Greg Lyons Dec. 26 S J BREWING Co., 463646 S.R. 200, Yulee Kevin Ski Dec. 22 SLIDERS Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave. Pili Pili Dec. 19 & 26. Tad Jennings Dec. 20. Hupp, Woodward Johnson Dec. 21. Savannah Leigh Bassett Dec. 22. JCnMike Dec. 23. Mark O’Quinn Dec. 25 The SURF, 3199 S. Fletcher Larry & the Backtracks Dec. 20. Davis Turner Dec. 22

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

CASBAH Café, 3628 St. Johns Ave. Goliath Flores every Wed. Jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE Nightclub, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free every Tue. & Thur. Indie dance Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance music every Fri.

THE BEACHES

(All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted) ATLANTIC BEACH Brewing, 725 Atlantic Blvd. Gypsy & Me Dec. 21 BLUE JAY Listening Room, 412 N. Second St. Hoffman’s Voodoo Dec. 19. Custard Pie Dec. 21. Roosevelt Collier Trio Dec. 23 COOP 303, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach Adam Latiff Dec. 28 & 29. The City Hop Dec. 30 FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach Soul Shine & SWAT Team Dec. 21 & 22 GREEN ROOM Brewing, 228 Third St. N. Lance Neely Dec. 21. Adam Latiff Dec. 22. Mike Cook Dec. 28 GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd. Groov every Wed. Michael Smith every Thur. Milton Clapp every Fri. LYNCH’S Irish Pub, 514 N. First St. 5 O’Clock Shadow Dec. 21. Sidereal, Barnes & the Heart Dec. 22 MEZZA, 110 First St., NB Gypsies Ginger Wed. Mike Shackelford, Steve Shanholtzer Thur. House Band Mon. Trevor Tanner Tue. MUSIC in the Courtyard, 200 First St., NB Brenna Ericson Dec. 21. Pat Rose Dec. 22 RAGTIME Tavern, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB Billy Bowers Dec. 19. Fish Out of Water Dec. 20. Sidewalk 65 Dec. 21. The Paul Lundgren Band Dec. 22. Mark Dennison Dec. 26 SOUTHERN SWELLS Brewing, 1312 Beach Blvd. Swimm Dec. 20 SURFER the Bar, 200 First St. N. H.R. (Bad Brains) Dec. 19. Passafire, El Dub Dec. 28 WHISKEY JAX, 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy. Neon Whiskey Dec. 19. Smokestack Dec. 20. 7 Street Band Dec. 21. Party Cartel Dec. 22

DOWNTOWN

1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St. N. The Heavy Pets, Universal Green, Good Wood Band, Colored Sound Dec. 20. The Spill Canvas Acoustic Show, City in the Clouds, Adversaries Dec. 21. Cultural School EP Release, Jeremy Ryan Dec. 22 DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St. DJ Brandon Thur. DJ NickFresh every Sat. DJ Randall every Mon. DJ Hollywood every Tue. The FLORIDA Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St. Horton’s Holiday Hayride, Junior Brown, The Blasters, Big Sandy Dec. 21 The JAX LANDING, 353-1188 Noche de Parranda, Henry Zayas Dec. 21. 7th Street Band Dec. 22 MAVERICKS Live, Jax Landing Ying Yang Twins, Tayse, $inny K, Toran Crush Dec. 20. City Girls Dec. 22 26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 19-25, 2018

MYTH Nightclub, 333 E. Bay St. Ugly Sweater: Artik, Sub-Lo, DJ Q-45, Inner-G, Romeo, DJ Mfadelz Dec. 21. The Treehouse, Xander, 2 Wolves Dec. 22. DJ Icey, Knightlife Dec. 23 TIMES-UNION Center, 300 Water St. Celtic Thunder X Dec. 20, Moran. Russell Thompkins Jr. & the New Stylistics, The Manhattans, Gerald Alston, Temptations, Dennis Edwards, Harold Melvin’s Blue Notes, Carl Carlton Dec. 28, Moran VOLSTEAD, 115 W. Adams A Die-Hard Christmas Dec. 21. Wasted Talent Dec. 22. Blackjack Dec. 24

FLEMING ISLAND, GREEN COVE BOONDOCKS, 2808 Henley Rd., Green Cove Mark Johns Dec. 19. Redfish Rich Dec. 20. Branden Parrish, Whiskey Heart Dec. 21. Eric Collette & Cody, Souls of Joy, Paul Ivey Dec. 22 WHITEY’S Fish Camp, 2032 C.R. 220 Dixie Highway Dec. 21. Area 51 Dec. 22

INTRACOASTAL

CLIFF’S, 3033 Monument Rd. DJ Sharon Dec. 19. Vegas Gray Dec. 21. Jason Evans Band Dec. 22 JERRY’S Sports Bar, 13170 Atlantic Blvd. Retro Kats Dec. 22

MANDARIN

ENZA’S, 10601 San Jose Blvd. Brian Iannucci Dec. 19, 23 & 25 IGGY’S, 104 Bartram Oaks Walk 7 Street Dec. 19. Second Disciples Dec. 22. Roger That Dec. 23

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

CHEERS, 1138 Park Ave. DJ Capone Dec. 19. City of Bridges Dec. 21 & 22 The HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd. John Michael every Tue.-Sat.

PONTE VEDRA

Restaurant MEDURE, 818 A1A N. Chris Thomas Dec. 21. The Groov Dec. 22 & 28 TAPS Bar & Grill, 2220 C.R. 210 Chuck Nash Dec. 19. Ginger Beard Man Dec. 21

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

NIGHTHAWKS, 2952 Roosevelt Blvd. Hometeam Jax Preparty: Custard Pie, Isaac Corbitt, Tom Bennett Band, Ben Strok Dec. 20. Super Bob, Eve to Adam, The Citrus Tree Dec. 22 RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St. Punk Rock Karaoke Dec. 23 RIVER & POST, 1000 Riverside Ave. HelloCelia Dec. 21. Barrett Thomas Dec. 22 RIVERSIDE Arts Market, 715 Riverside Ave. Sketchy Raccoon, MJBaker, Strangerwolf, Elvis Kabong! Dec. 22

ST. AUGUSTINE

ARNOLD’S, 3912 N. Ponce de Leon Live Stream Dec. 22 CAFÉ ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd. Vance Gilbert Dec. 20. Sam Pacetti, Jordan Tice, Gatorbone Trio Dec. 21 PLANET SARBEZ, 115 Anastasia Blvd. Emperor X Dec. 22 PROHIBITION Kitchen, 119 St. George St. Sailor Jane & the Swell Dec. 20. Jolie Crapo, Be Easy Dec. 21. David Julia, Black Cat Bones Dec. 22. Patrick Campbell Dec. 24 TRADEWINDS, 124 Charlotte St. Spanky Dec. 21 & 22

SAN MARCO, NORTHBANK

GRAPE & GRAIN Exchange, 2000 San Marco The Snacks Blues Band Dec. 22

JACK RABBITS, 15280 Hendricks Ave. Charley Farley, Whiskey Heart Dec. 19. Dive Bar, Dancing with Ghosts, Deadkaren, Borromakat Dec. 20. Shovel the Moon, Prideless, 100 Watts Viper, Audio Hive Dec. 23. Asphalt Kiss, Runner’s High Dec. 26 MUDVILLE Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd. Ronnie Gainey, Pottsburg Creek, Bluesdog 66 Dec. 21. Tom & Natalie Dec. 27

SOUTHSIDE, BAYMEADOWS

VETERANS UNITED, 8999 Western Way Bald Eagles Dec. 21 WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd. Neon Whiskey Dec. 19. Yowsah Dec. 21. Boogie Freaks Dec. 22. Pistol Hill Dec. 26

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

COPPER TOP Bar, 12405 Main St. SRB Acoustic Dec. 21 PALMS Fish Camp, 6359 Heckscher Dr. Billy Bowers Dec. 21. Bush Doctors Dec. 22

UPCOMING CONCERTS

VICTOR WAINWRIGHT & the TRAIN Dec. 28, Cafe Eleven TERRY FATOR Dec. 28, The Florida Theatre The DONNA SUMMER & BARRY WHITE Experience Dec. 28 & 29, Alhambra Theatre The GRASS IS DEAD, WEST KING STREET BAND Dec. 29, 1904 Music Hall FREEKBASS Dec. 29, Jack Rabbits DONNA the BUFFALO, WESTERN CENTURIES Dec. 29, PV Concert Hall MR. PETERSON’S NEIGHBORHOOD Dec. 30, 1904 Music Hall BEAU & the BURNERS, MATCHSTICK JOHNNY, The FIREWATER TENT REVIVAL, INVISIBLE FRIENDS Dec. 30, Jack Rabbits SEBASTIAN MANISCALCO Dec. 30, T-U Center The MAIN SQUEEZE, KHRIS ROYAL, TRAIL DIVER Dec. 31, 1904 Music Hall COLE SWINDELL Dec. 31, Gator Bowl (Vets Memorial Arena) WHEN PARTICLES COLLIDE Jan. 3, Planet Sarbez CAITLIN MAHONEY Jan. 5, Blue Jay Listening Room CRACKER, CAMPER VAN BEETHOVEN Jan. 6, Jack Rabbits NFFN Artist Showcase: DIXIE RODEO, TOM EDWARDS, DR. PAUL Jan. 9, Mudville Music Room RITA COOLIDGE Jan. 9, PV Concert Hall ROCK of AGES Jan. 10, T-U Center, Moran The VEGABONDS Jan. 10, Prohibition Kitchen CRUNK WITCH Jan. 10, Shantytown Pub Winter Jam: NEWSBOYS UNITED, LEDGER, DANNY GOKEY, MANDISA, REND COLLECTIVE, NEWSONG, HOLLYN, TY BRASEL, MANIC DRIVE, DAN BREMNES, ADAM AGEE Jan. 11, Veterans Memorial Arena COREY SMITH Jan. 11, Mavericks Live KARL DENSON & his TINY UNIVERSE BAND Jan. 11, PV Concert Hall MINESWEEPA Jan. 11, Myth Nightclub MARCIA BALL & her BAND Jan. 12, PV Concert Hall METAL for MUTTS Jan. 12, 1904 Music Hall FLIPTURN, TEEN DIVORCE, The CITRUS TREES Jan. 12, Murray Hill Theatre EUROPA Jan. 12, Shanghai Nobby’s ELAINE MAHON, SAM MAHON Jan. 13, Beluthahatchee Park FRANKIE VALLI & the FOUR SEASONS Jan. 13, The Florida Theatre PICKWICK COMMONS Jan. 13, Jack Rabbits MR. PROTEGE Jan. 13, Myth Nightclub

CONCERTS LISA KELLY/JB SCOTT Quintet Jan. 15, Ponte Vedra Library LAKE STREET DIVE, MIKAELA DAVIS Jan. 15, PV Concert Hall The BIG TROUBLE Jan. 15, UNF Fine Arts Center SOUTHERN CULTURE on the SKIDS Jan. 17, 1904 Music Hall The KENNEDYS, ROUGH & TUMBLE Jan. 17, Mudville Music Room SOUTHERN CULTURE on the SKIDS Jan. 17, 1904 Music Hall NORTH by NORTH Jan. 17, Rain Dogs; Jan. 19, Sarbez BRADD MARQUIS Jan. 17, Ritz Theatre MIKE EPPS, SOMMORE, EARTHQUAKE, MARK CURRY, GEORGE WALLACE Jan. 18, Veterans Memorial Arena The LISA KELLY JAZZ 4TET: Lisa Kelly, Jeff Phillips, Mike Perez, Jeremy Smith Jan. 18, Casa Monica Cobalt Lounge LINCOLN DURHAM Jan. 18, Jack Rabbits RANDY STONEHILL, SUMMER FROST, TIM SERDYNSKI Jan. 18, Murray Hill Theatre The VEGABONDS Jan. 18, 1904 Music Hall DREW CAREY, GREG PROOPS, JEFF B. DAVIS, JOEL MURRAY Jan. 19, The Florida Theatre MUTTS GONE NUTS Jan. 19, FSCJ Wilson Center SPACE JESUS Jan. 20, Myth Nightclub DAVID WILCOX Jan. 20, Café Eleven You & Me Solo Acoustic: PETE YORN Jan. 22, Jack Rabbits ARLO GUTHRIE “Alice’s Restaurant” Jan. 23, The Florida Theatre CHER, NILE RODGERS, CHIC Jan. 23, Veterans Memorial Arena MILE TWELVE Jan. 23, Mudville Music Room EL TEN ELEVEN, JOAN of ARC Jan. 23, Jack Rabbits JOHN FULBRIGHT Jan. 23, Café Eleven MAIN FOCUS, ARTIFAKTS Jan. 24, 1904 Music Hall RECKLESS KELLY, NIKKI LANE Jan. 24, PV Concert Hall JANET GARDNER Jan. 25, 1904 Music Hall DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS, LUCINDA WILLIAMS Jan. 25, The Florida Theatre VOODOO VISIONARY Jan. 25, Jack Rabbits The OUTLAWS Jan. 25, PV Concert Hall MARK LAVENGOOD, The COPPER TONES Jan. 25, Café Eleven SULTANS of STRING Jan. 25, Mudville Music Room OLD 97s, SHOOTER JENNINGS Jan. 26, PV Concert Hall WINDHAND, GENOCIDE PACT Jan. 26, 1904 Music Hall SETH GLIER Jan. 26, Café Eleven SARA EVANS Jan. 27, The Florida Theatre JB SCOTT’S SWINGIN’ ALLSTARS Jan. 27, Riverside Concert CRASH TEST DUMMIES Jan. 28, PV Concert Hall PINK MARTINI Jan. 28, The Florida Theatre DAVID CURLEY & ANDREW FINN MAGILL Jan. 29, Mudville MARCO BENEVENTO Jan. 30, Jack Rabbits EMERY, OH, SLEEPER Jan. 30, Murray Hill Theatre NEKO CASE, KIMYA DAWSON Jan. 31, PV Concert Hall JOYCE MANOR, JEFF ROSENSTOCK, REMEMBER SPORTS Jan. 31, 1904 Music Hall THAT 1 GUY Feb. 1, Café Eleven UNDER the STREETLAMP Feb. 2, PV Concert Hall RHETT WALKER BAND, SIDECREEK Feb. 2, Murray Hill Theatre SATSANG Feb. 2, Surfer the Bar BETHEL MUSIC Feb. 5, T-U Center, Moran Theater GAELIC STORM Feb. 5, PV Concert Hall PIGEONS PLAYING PING PONG Feb. 6, 1904 Music Hall DAVID BROMBERG QUINTET Feb. 6, PV Concert Hall STEVE POLTZ Feb. 6, Café Eleven The MAGPIE SALUTE Feb. 7, PV Concert Hall G. LOVE & SPECIAL SAUCE Feb. 8, PV Concert Hall ANDREW McMAHON in the WILDERNESS, FLOR, GRIZFOLK Feb. 8, Mavericks NOEL FRIEDLINE Feb. 8, Ritz Theatre PATTI LaBELLE Feb. 9, Times-Union Center AARON LEWIS Feb. 9, The Florida Theatre LISA KELLY JAZZ 4TET Feb. 9, Casa Monica Cobalt Lounge

RAYLAND BAXTER Feb. 10, Murray Hill Theatre ALAN DOYLE & GREAT BIG SEA Feb. 10, PV Concert Hall MICHAEL BOLTON Feb. 10, The Florida Theatre SEAN K. PRESTON & the LOADED PISTOLS Feb. 10, Prohibition Kitchen G JONES, TSURUDA, CHEE Feb. 10, 1904 Music Hall AL DI MEOLA Feb. 12, PV Concert Hall TAJ MAHAL & his TRIO Feb. 13, PV Concert Hall YONDER MOUNTAIN STRING BAND, HANDMADE MOMENTS Feb. 13, 1904 Music Hall KEIKO MATSUI Feb. 14, PV Concert Hall JO KOY Feb. 14, The Florida Theatre TOM RUSH, MATT NAKOA Feb. 15, PV Concert Hall MATT & KIM, YUMO Feb. 15, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Backyard Stage FRED EAGLESMITH, TIG GINN Feb. 16, Mudville Grille DAVE MASON, STEVE CROPPER, GRETCHEN RHODES Feb. 17, PVConcert Hall LEE ‘SCRATCH’ PERRY, SUBATOMIC SOUND SYSTEM Feb. 17, Jack Rabbits COTTER HILL Feb. 17, Blue Jay Listening Room The FLOOZIES, TOO MANY ZOOZ, DREAMERS DELIGHT, The TERMINUS HORNS Feb. 18, 1904 Music Hall LOS LOBOS Feb. 19, PV Concert Hall JAKE SHIMABUKURO Feb. 19, The Florida Theatre An Evening with DAWES Feb. 19, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Backyard Stage The ZOMBIES Feb. 20, PV Concert Hall SPAFFORD Feb. 20, 1904 Music Hall T.S.O.L. Feb. 20, Surfer the Bar MURDER by DEATH, J RODDY WALSTON & the BUSINESS Feb. 20, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Backyard Stage TOBYMAC, JEREMY CAMP, RYAN STEVENSON, AARON CORE, WE ARE MESSENGERS Feb. 21, Veterans Memorial Arena KASEY CHAMBERS & the FIREFLY DISCIPLES, CASEY BURRUSS Feb. 21, PV Concert Hall TYLER HILTON Feb. 21, Café Eleven TONY MacALPINE, MONTE PITTMAN Feb. 22, Nighthawks CAN’T SWIM, HOMESAFE, SAVE FACE, SMALL TALKS Feb. 23, Nighthawks SARAH McLACHLAN Feb. 24, The Florida Theatre CHRISTOPHER CROSS Feb. 27, PV Concert Hall The EXPENDABLES, BALLYHOO! Feb. 28, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Backyard Stage ALABAMA March 1, St. Augustine Amphitheatre PAM TILLIS, TERRI CLARK, SUZY BOGGUSS March 1, The FloridaTheatre STEEL PANTHER, WILSON March 1, Mavericks Live BROTHERS OSBORNE, RUSHTON KELLY March 2, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MORGAN JAMES March 3, PV Concert Hall LANDT March 3, Planet Sarbez GIN BLOSSOMS March 4, PV Concert Hall STEVEN CURTIS CHAPMAN March 7, T-U Center, Terry Theater BLAKE SHELTON, TRACE ADKINS, The BELLAMY BROTHERS, JOHN ANDERSON, LAUREN ALAINA March 7, Veterans Memorial Arena The AVETT BROTHERS March 7, St. Augustine Amphitheatre The INFAMOUS STRINGDUSTERS, ROOSEVELT COLLIER March 8, PV Concert Hall TRAVIS TRITT, The CHARLIE DANIELS BAND, CADILLAC THREE March 8, St. Augustine Amphitheatre 10,000 MANIACS March 9, PV Concert Hall JUICE March 9, Jack Rabbits MILES JAYE, TONY TERRY, The SYSTEM March 9, T-U Center Terry Theater

HIGH TIME March 9, Mudville Music Room TANK & the BANGAS, ALFRED BANKS, MAGGIE KOERNER March 10, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JEFF TWEEDY, JAMES ELKINGTON March 11, PV Concert Hall David Bowie Alumni Tour: MIKE GARSON, EARL SLICK, GERRY LEONARD, CARMINE ROJAS, BERNARD FOWLER, COREY GLOVER, LEE JOHN March 15, PV Concert Hall ELTON JOHN March 15, Veterans Memorial Arena DAN + SHAY, MORGAN EVANS March 15, St. Augustine Amphitheatre BLUNTS & BLONDES March 15, River City Brewing TREVOR NOAH March 16, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ROGER McGUINN March 16, PV Concert Hall LITTLE FEAT March 20, The Florida Theatre JOAN OSBORNE March 21, PV Concert Hall The DUKE ROBILLARD BAND March 21, Café Eleven ANGELA INGERSOLL March 22, FSCJ’s Wilson Center ANVIL March 24, 1904 Music Hall The MESSTHETICS, BRENDAN CANTY, JOE LALLY, ANTHONY PIROG March 26, St. Augustine Amphitheatre’s Front Porch KELLER WILLIAMS’ PETTYGRASS, The HILLBENDERS March 28, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Backyard Stage PUNCH BROTHERS March 28, The Florida Theatre DARK STAR ORCHESTRA March 29, St. Augustine Amphitheatre CASTING CROWNS March 30, Daily’s Place The TRIBUTE April 6, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ANITRA JAY April 6, Riverside Arts Market BOZ SCAGGS April 10, The Florida Theatre KISS April 12, Veterans Memorial Arena MIDLAND April 12, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DAVE ALVIN, JIMMIE DALE GILMORE, The GUILTY ONES April 12, PV Concert Hall KANE BROWN April 13, St. Augustine Amphitheatre KENNY CHESNEY April 13, Daily’s Place TAB BENOIT April 13, PV Concert Hall EDWIN McCAIN April 17, PV Concert Hall LEON BRIDGES, JESS GLYNNE April 17, St. Augustine Amphitheatre SAM RIGGS April 18, Jack Rabbits TINSLEY ELLIS April 19, PV Concert Hall SANTANA April 20, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ACID MOTHERS TEMPLE April 26, Jack Rabbits KELSEA BALLERINI, BRETT YOUNG, BRANDON RATCLIFF April 26, St. Augustine Amphitheatre The ROLLING STONES April 24, TIAA Bank Field DREAM THEATER April 27, T-U Center, Moran Theater FAYE WEBSTER, LORD HURON May 1, Mavericks Live WELCOME TO ROCKVILLE May 3, Metro Park GRETA VAN FLEET May 9, Daily’s Place The TURTLES, CHUCK NEGRON, GARY PUCKETT & the UNION GAP, The BUCKINGHAMS, CLASSICS IV, The COWSILLS June 2, The Florida Theatre WEIRD AL YANKOVIC June 9, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JON BELLION June 23, St. Augustine Amphitheatre TEDESCHI TRUCKS BAND, BLACKBERRY SMOKE, SHOVELS & ROPE June 28, Daily’s Place TRAIN, GOO GOO DOLLS, ALLEN STORE July 9, Daily’s Place NEW KIDS on the BLOCK, NAUGHTY by NATURE, SALT-N-PEPA, TIFFANY, DEBBIE GIBSON July 12, Veterans Memorial Arena JOJO SIWA July 13, St. Augustine Amphitheatre _________________________________________ To list your band’s gig, send time, date, location (street address, city or neighborhood), admission price and a contact number to Marlene Dryden, email mdryden@folioweekly.com or by mail at 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Events run on space-available basis. Deadline noon Wed. for next Wed. publication.

GYPSY & ME may be based in North Carolina, but the roots-music duo features Jax-born singer Kyzandrha Zarate. She returns to her hometown with partner-in-crime Mike Moore, 8 p.m. Friday, Dec. 21, Atlantic Beach Brewing Company, atlanticbeachbrewingcompany.com, free

DECEMBER 19-25, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27

FOLIO FOOD

is the season for gift-giving! (And, let’s be honest, gift-getting, too!) I’m not a huge fan of “stuff,” but spoiler alert: I do love a good meal and a fun adventure. Check out some of these local gift suggestions that are certain to delight even the pickiest of eaters this holiday season. (And some of these items make great hostess gifts, too!)

MEMBERSHIP TO SLOW FOOD FIRST COAST

for yo

ur FAVOR

IT UP

ANY ITEM IN DUVAL MERCANTILE

WRAP O EF

FROZEN TREAT FROM HYPPO OR MAYDAY ICE CREAM

BLEU CHOCOLÀT CAFÉ Handcrafted chocolate tells the recipient you

The latest pop-up shop is the brainchild

This is an ideal gift for the farm-to-table

The Hyppo Pops, born in St. Augustine,

adore them. Brand-new Bleu Chocolàt Café

of the owners of vintage clothing emporium

activists you know! Slow Food First Coast, the

have a new sibling! Mayday Handcrafted Ice

in Springfield has the goods to help you shout

Wolf and Cub. And the shelves of this

local branch of an international organization,

Cream, with St. Augustine and San Marco

it from the rooftops. The café specializes in

Downtown storefront are replete with

focuses on putting the folks who grow and

stores, offers divine flavors both complex and

handcrafted bonbons and truffles and there’s

terrific products from amazing local

prepare our food and drink in the spotlight. In

layered. Plunge a spoon into a cooling scoop

a chocolate-and-coffee bar, too. Experienced

companies. Check out some of the

this area, Slow Food First Coast holds events

of Mint Chocolate Mash or nibble on tongue-

pastry chef and chocolatier Erika Cline came

area’s culinary favorites, such as the

and workshops with local farmers and artisans

tingling Datil Dark. Give a gift card or pick up

back to Jax from Tortola and teamed with

innovative DIY drink kits from CAMP

sharing their processes and helping us make

a ready-to-go pint! (Share, share.)

cake expert Linda Evans and baker Tanisha

Craft Cocktail, the many varieties of

good choices. These experienced pros have

Guy to turn the former Three Layers shop into

marvelous local, raw honey from Bee

encyclopedic knowledge on how food and

THE HYPPO GOURMET ICE POPS • thehyppo.com

48 Charlotte St., St. Augustine, 217-7853

a confectionary wonderland. The Caribbean

Friends Farm and exotic spice mixes

beverages are made. And when SFFC bestows

70 St. George St., St. Augustine, 547-2980

influence is sprinkled throughout the frankly

90 Riverside Ave., Ste. 605, 551-0361

gorgeous goodies and the décor. These are

THE HYPPO COFFEE BAR

gifts to give to your sweet-toothed pals as well

1765 Tree Blvd., Ste. 5, St. Augustine, 342-7816

as those humbuggers—to sweeten them up!

MAYDAY ICE CREAM

(Don’t forget to treat yourself—grab a cake,

maydayicecream.com

doughnuts, brownies or banana pudding!)

BLEU CHOCOLÀT CAFÉ

from Saturiwa Trading Company.

its highly coveted Snail of Approval upon

And up-and-coming Springfield pastry

a Northeast Florida restaurateur, producer,

pros, 1748 Bakehouse, offer some truly

purveyor or artisan for their contribution to

yummy treats. This one-stop shop is just

the ‘quality, authenticity and sustainability’ of

bursting with locally sourced goodies!

food and drink on the First Coast, be assured

DUVAL MERCANTILE

it’s well-earned and eat guilt-free.

1835 U.S. 1 S., Ste. 127, St. Augustine, 342-2594

SLOW FOOD FIRST COAST

100 St. George St., Ste. J, St. Augustine, 217-0517

facebook.com/duvalmercantile.com 211 N. Laura St., Downtown 28 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 19-25, 2018

slowfoodfirstcoast.org

1432 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 551-7188

facebook.com/bleuchocolatcafe 1602 Walnut St., Springfield, 379-2610

LOCALLY ROASTED COFFEES & SPIRITS The gift of ambrosial libations is always in style!

GIFT CARDS OR CERTIFICATES

For the coffee-lovers in your sphere, check out

Scoff ye not, last-minute shoppers! The small

what’s on offer from Bold Bean, Vagabond and

plastic rectangles inside an enticing little

Spring Park Coffee. If your giftee is all about

envelope fit just right in the toe of a well-hung

the leaves, you can’t miss with the cleverly

stocking and they’re sooo convenient! I know,

named teas at Tea Nation (find them online

gift cards are often considered a cop-out, but

or every Saturday at Riverside Arts Market). If

I disagree. A gift card is a good open-ended

you’re entertaining thoughts of a more spiritual

gesture for someone you don’t know well. Or,

nature, to take your mug o’ joe up a festive

for someone you do know well, it’s a chance

notch or simply acknowledge that it’s always

to fête them with a night out at any number of

five o’clock somewhere, visit the dedicated

Northeast Florida’s fine dining establishments!

folks creating some fine spirits right here in

Plus, with some great deals from places

Northeast Florida at Manifest Distilling, Carve

like Town Hall, Moxie, Orsay, The Pointe

Craft Vodka and St. Augustine Distillery.

Restaurant, Black Sheep 5 Points, Hawkers Asian Street Fare and Prohibition Kitchen, you might be able to get a little gift card bonus for yourself! (I won’t tell if you don’t!)

BLACK SHEEP

blacksheep5points.com 1534 Oak St., Riverside, 355-3793

HAWKERS ASIAN STREET FARE eathawkers.com

1001 Park St., Riverside, 508-0342

BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS boldbeancoffee.com, 853-6545 869 Stockton St., Riverside

241 N. Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 425-1025

MOXIE KITCHEN + COCKTAILS moxiefl.com

2400 S. Third St., Ste. 200, Jax Beach

4972 Big Island Dr., Southside, 998-9744

1905 Hendricks Ave., San Marco

PROHIBITION KITCHEN

VAGABOND COFFEE

prohibitionkitchenstaugustine.com

vagabondcoffee.com

119 St. George St., St. Augustine, 209-5704

934 Edgewood Ave. S., Westside, 479-6848

RESTAURANT ORSAY

SPRING PARK COFFEE

restaurantorsay.com

springparkcoffee.com

3630 Park St., Riverside, 381-0909

328 Ferris St., Green Cove, 531-9391

THE POINTE RESTAURANT

CARVE CRAFT VODKA

elizabethpointelodge.com

carvecraftvodka.com

98 S. Fletcher Ave., Amelia island, 277-4851

7949 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 204, Arlington, 723-1114

TOWN HALL

MANIFEST DISTILLING manifestdistilling.com

960 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 619-1479

MARLIN & BARREL

townhalljax.com 2012 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville, 398-0726 Brentley Stead mail@folioweekly.com

marlinbarrel.com

115 S. Second St., Fernandina, 556-3837

ST. AUGUSTINE DISTILLERY staugustinedistillery.com

112 Riberia St., St. Augustine, 825-4963

TWO TITMICE VODKA

twotitmicevodka.com, 993-3474

DECEMBER 19-25, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 29

FOLIO COOKING Chef Bill’s Yuletide treat? FOIE GRAS!

ALL IT’S

QUACKED UP TO BE

CHRISTMAS IS A-COMIN’, THE GOOSE IS GETTIN’ FAT! Anyone ever have goose? I doubt it. Eating goose is a sacred German Christmas tradition, but not one with which most of us in the good ol’ 904 are familiar. In fact, a Weihnachten dinner of roasted goose in many areas of Germany is nearly as common as turkey on Thanksgiving in America. Most nations have very distinct traditional culinary treats specifically for the Christmas season. While Germans are stuffing themselves with big, fat, juicy, gamey, kinda greasy roasted goose, other cultures enjoy their holiday nomnoms. Believe it or not, I have some favorites I’ve cherry-picked from around the globe. In most Italian homes, Christmas Eve is celebrated in the fishiest of ways. It’s the hungrily anticipated night when The Feast of the Seven Fishes makes its annual appearance. Leave it to the food-obsessed Italians to center a holiday feast around not one, not two, but seven separate fresh seafood courses. There are no specific maritime dishes required for this blowout meal, but I’m sure the proper choices are argued and debated by cooks all over Italy. Opulence is the theme of a French Christmas dinner. By opulence, I’m talking foie gras. Imagine: a rich, silky, glossy, luxurious veloute of chestnuts. A soup so creamy, so buttery, contrasted with a slight earthiness from chestnuts and nutmeg, then topped with the ultimate palate pleaser: foie gras! I struggle to not drool as I write this. This decadent veloute, complimented with a glass of Cristal champagne, are by far the most important contributions the French have given to Western civilization. Across the Channel in jolly olde England, a large animal haunch such as a beef rib roast is common, but for me, Yorkshire pudding is the real gift. I’ll explain: Yorkshire pudding is a kind of popover made from eggs, flour and baking powder, with the delicious addition of simmering beef fat. Hot beef fat is vital for rising batter and it has a delectable meaty tang. Here in the States, there’s really no single dish that defines the Christmas feast. Each region, each family has a special tradition that’s

renewed every year. The most popular Yuletide nibble is the humble Christmas cookie. Don’t let a lack of a national Christmas dish dissuade you—it just means you can create your own. This lemon tart recipe is a great place to start.

CHEF BILL’S LEMON TART

SABAYON Ingredients • 3/4 cup sugar • 2 egg yolks, cold • 1/2 cup fresh lemon juice • 2 eggs, cold • 3 oz. butter, cold, cut into six pieces PINE NUT CRUST Ingredients • 10 oz. pine nuts •1/3 cup sugar • 1 pound all-purpose flour •1 egg • 8 oz. butter, at room temperature • 1 tsp. real vanilla extract PINE NUT CRUST Directions 1. Pulse nuts in robot coup a few times. Add the sugar and flour; pulse until nuts are finely ground. 2. Transfer to a bowl, add butter, egg and vanilla extract. Mix to incorporate. Split in thirds. 3. Butter and flour a false-bottom fluted pan. Spread dough in pan. Bake @ 350°F 10-15 minutes, rotate, bake 10-15 minutes more. SABAYON Directions 1. Whisk eggs, yolks and sugar in a bowl. Put over a bain-marie, whisk two minutes. Add 1/3 of lemon juice. Whisk until it begins to thicken. Add another 1/3 of lemon juice. Whisk until thickened. Add rest of lemon juice. Whisk to ribbon consistency. 2. Turn off heat, add butter one piece at a time. 3. Pour into baked crust. 4. Chill for several hours. Until we cook again,

Chef Bill Thompson cheffedup@folioweekly.com ____________________________________ Email Chef Bill Thompson, the owner of Fernandina Beach’s Amelia Island Culinary Academy, at cheffedup@folioweekly.com, for inspiration and to get your menus Cheffed-Up!

FOLIO COOKING’S GROCERY COMMUNITY EARTH FARE 11901 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 250, Arlington GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET 2007 Park St., Riverside

30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 19-25, 2018

NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKETS 11030 Baymeadows Rd. 10000 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin 1585 N. Third St., Jax Beach

JACKSONVILLE FARMERS MARKET 1810 W. Beaver St., Westside

PUBLIX MARKETS 1033 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine 2033 Riverside Ave. 4413 Town Ctr. Pkwy., Ste. 100

NASSAU HEALTH FOODS 833 T.J. Courson Rd., Fernandina

THE SAVORY MARKET 474380 S.R. 200, Fernandina

ROWE’S 1670 Wells Rd., Orange Park 8595 Beach Blvd., Southside TERRY’S PRODUCE Buccaneer Trail, Fernandina WHOLE FOODS 10601 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin

DECEMBER 19-25, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 31

FOLIO BEER

L I A A W S AY S A W The British sing for their WINTER WARMERS WE’VE ALREADY LOOKED AT BELGIAN, GERMAN and Austrian holiday beers. This week, we take a look at the Christmas beers of Great Britain. The English holiday ale tradition has its roots in time-honored ritual, specifically wassailing. Wassailing, or singing for Christmas treats, is traditionally done on Twelfth Night (Jan. 5). The peasants of old(e) would sing in front of their feudal lord’s home in exchange for figgy pudding and wassail drink, sometimes made of strong hard cider or strong ale. Historically, the actual wassail recipe varied from location to location. One popular variant, known as lambswool,

consisted of hot ale, roasted crab apples, sugar, spices, eggs and cream. Small pieces of toast were floated on the surface of the drink. In the beginning, spices were merely added to the warmed beer. Eventually, the Brits would start brewing with spice. Today, winter warmers and Christmas ales include many flavors, ranging from spicy gingerbread to tart cranberry. Southeast of London, in Kent County, the Shepherd Neame Brewery has counted a whole lotta holiday seasons. The Faversham-based company’s roots reach as far back as 1573, though it didn’t take

on the Shepherd Neame brand until 1698. For centuries, these brewers have taken advantage of stellar local ingredients. We’re talking Kent hops and mineral water from the town’s chalk-filtered aquifer. The result? A range of superior British beverages, including the imaginatively named Christmas Ale. Available only during December, this brew is a fullbodied, warming winter ale, featuring a combination of fruits and spices. It combines pale and crystal malts with Target and Challenger hops for bitterness, with additional Goldings hops for aroma. While not overly strong, checkling in at 7 percent ABV, this thick winter warmer has enticing aromas of raisins, dates and molasses, and all the while displaying flavors of vanilla, leather and apricots. Ridgeway Brewing is located just west of London on an old trade route named— wait for it—the Ridgeway. Husband-andwife team Peter and Vanda Scholey established the brewery in 2002 and immediately made a name for themselves with beers brewed using what they call “cutting-edge tradition.” One of their many brews is the winter warmer called Santa’s Butt, a rich, 6-percent ABV porter. (The name is a play on words. In England, a “butt” is a large cask equal to 108 imperial gallons, or about three kegs.) Now we look to The North. Samuel Smith’s Old Brewery was established in Tadcaster (between Leeds and York) in 1758. It wasn’t always Samuel Smith’s Old Brewery, though. The venerable institution has also been known as John Smith Brewery and, simply, Old Brewery. It’s known for rich beers and its Winter Welcome Ale. The malty, complex winter warmer is no disappointment. It possesses a pleasant aroma of dark fruits and dark toast with flavors of dark-roasted malts and nuts. Hop bitterness: moderate. The British may be known for regal pageantry, afternoon tea and keeping a stiff upper lip, but as the originators of the winter warmer style, they deserve a place at your beer-tasting table this holiday season, too. Marc Wisdom marc@folioweekly.com

FOLIO BEER’S BREWERY COMMUNITY

32 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 19-25, 2018

AARDWOLF BREWING COMPANY 1461 Hendricks Ave., San Marco

DOG ROSE BREWING CO. 77 Bridge St., St. Augustine

RAGTIME TAVERN SEAFOOD & GRILL 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach

AMELIA TAVERN RESTAURANT & BREWPUB 318 Centre St., Fernandina Beach

ENGINE 15 BREWING CO. DOWNTOWN 633 Myrtle Ave. N., Jacksonville

REVE BREWING 1229 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach

ANCIENT CITY BREWING 3420 Agricultural Ctr. Dr., St. Augustine

ENGINE 15 BREWING CO. 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217, Jax Beach

RUBY BEACH BREWING 131 First Ave N., Jax Beach

ANHEUSER-BUSCH 1100 Ellis Rd. N., Northside

FISHWEIR BREWING CO. 1183 Edgewood Ave. S., Jacksonville

RIVER CITY BREWING COMPANY 835 Museum Cir., Southbank

ATLANTIC BEACH BREWING COMPANY 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 3, Atlantic Beach

GREEN ROOM BREWING, LLC 228 Third St. N., Jax Beach

SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY 9735 Gate Pkwy., Southside

BEARDED BUFFALO BREWING COMPANY 1012 King St., Downtown

HYPERION BREWING COMPANY 1740 Main St. N., Springfield

S J BREWING CO. 463646 S.R. 200, Ste. 13, Yulee

BOG BREWING COMPANY 218 W. King St., St. Augustine

INTUITION ALE WORKS 929 E. Bay St., Downtown

SOUTHERN SWELLS BREWING CO. 1312 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach

BOLD CITY BREWERY 2670 Rosselle St., Ste. 7, Riverside

MAIN & SIX BREWING COMPANY 1636 Main St. N., Northside

TABULA RASA BREWING 2385 Corbett St., Northside

BOLD CITY DOWNTOWN 109 E. Bay St., Jacksonville

OLD COAST ALES 300 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine

VETERANS UNITED CRAFT BREWERY 8999 Western Way, Ste. 104, Southside

BOTTLENOSE BREWING 9700 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, Southside

PINGLEHEAD BREWING COMPANY 12 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park

WICKED BARLEY BREWING COMPANY 4100 Baymeadows Rd.

PETS FOLIO LIVING

LOCAL PET EVENTS & ADOPTABLES

DAVI

An Eagle Scout GIVES BACK

EARNING HIS

WINGS

MAKING A DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD BEGINS with the belief that you can do something to benefit more than yourself. Jacob Davis was just 15 years old when he committed to making a difference in his community. For his Eagle Scout project, Davis organized and completed a donation drive of items needed by local animal rescues. Great way to give back, right? Jacob and I talked while he sorted donated goods. He’s full of spirit and I like that a lot. Now I share his story with you. Davi: First things first. Talk about your dog. Jacob: My dog is named Rosie. She is a twoyear-old Brussels Griffon—and she’s a mess! [Davi’s note: Here in the South, calling someone a ‘mess’ is a compliment!] What made you want to organize a donation drive for pets as your project? I wanted to give back to the community. Therapy dogs visited and supported me when I was in the hospital, so I’m paying it forward through good deeds. What’s an Eagle Scout project process? It’s a service project to give leadership to others to help the community. How did you find animal rescues that were in need of help? Carolyn Snowden of the Jacksonville Dog Café helped me identify local rescues that would benefit from my project. How many items did you collect? I collected more than 1,000 items and about $6,500 in donations! What’s been your biggest challenge? I had to pull together gift cards to purchase the more expensive items. I had to figure out how to buy heart and flea medicine and prescription dog food. Turns out, veterinary office gift cards make it easy.

Did you get others involved? Yes, I created an Amazon Wish List for everyone to access. With the help of social media and donation flyers, my list reached lots of people, even some I don’t know. The community, my friends and family, and even Dr. Randy helped spread the word and fulfill the lists. The Ronan School of Music was a drop-off site for collected items. What were you able to accomplish with this project, besides collecting donations? I helped raise awareness for local rescues and strengthened support for St. Francis Animal Hospital, DARE, Pit Sisters, Fur Sisters, the London Sanctuary and Animal Care & Protective Services. How did it feel to be leading the project? It was a lot of responsibility and hard work, but it felt great to accomplish everything I set out to do! I hope I’ve made a difference. What was your favorite part? Collecting the donated items. I can’t wait to deliver everything! What lessons have you learned from this? Writing thank-you notes is exhausting! And it takes time to organize a campaign, solicit donations and inspire others to take action.

HELPING THE HOMELESS FOR THE HOLIDAYS • The nonprofit Pitstop Pit Bull Rescue Transport is helping to feed homelss folks on Christmas morning, 7 a.m.10:30 p.m. Dec. 25, at Main Street Park, Jacksonville. They’re accepting donations of small bags of dog food, treats and toys, because homeless folks love their pets, too. Volunteer to be part of the Christmas miracle. Donations of new socks and T-shirts are also needed. Email contactus@pspbrt.org for details.

ADOPTABLES

ANASTASIA

HEART, DON’T FAIL ME • Courage, don’t desert me. That’s right, ’90s kids–it’s Anastasia! True to my royal blood, I’m a well-mannered, dainty pup who enjoys hanging with folks and dogs as refined as I. I’m a princess, but I don’t need palaces or jewels–all I need is a home and a family to love me. I’m ready for the future with you. Go to jaxhumane.org to learn more about me and find out how to adopt.

PETCO ADOPTIONS • There’s an adoptable cats Meet & Greet, 9 a.m.-8 p.m. Dec. 19, 20, 21, 22 & 23 at Petco, 1514 C.R. 220, Fleming Island, 215-7498, petco.com. Adoptions for cats and dogs are also held 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Dec. 22 & 29 at Petco, 463713 S.R. 200, Yulee, 225-0014. There’s a free puppy playtime, 1-1:30 p.m. Dec. 22 at 430 CBL Dr., St. Augustine, 824-8520.

ADOPTABLES

CORDELIA

What have pets meant to you? They bring me so much joy and comfort. Giving back to the community is on most people’s to-do list, but it takes time and commitment. Through his actions, Jacob Davis has demonstrated how others can create change, and that everyone can contribute to make a better world when we consistently do small acts of kindness. Davi mail@folioweekly.com ____________________________________ Davi the Dachshund hopes we all help others during the holidays and throughout the year.

I’M ROYALTY, TOO! • Did you know I’m named after a character from one of Shakes-purr’s most famous plays, King Lear? Just like Princess Cordelia, I’m sweet, loving and beautiful! I’m quite modest, too. When I’m not busy being cute, I enjoy chin scratches, basking in the sun and exploring the world around me. I’m missing a leg, but it doesn’t slow me down! See for yourself at Jax Humane Society, 8464 Beach Blvd., Southside, open 7 days a week.

PET TIP: NOT JUST FOR THE HOLIDAYS SURE, A PUPPY IS SO CUTE UNDER THE TREE … Pet stores, breeders and folks with common sense caution us every year: Don’t buy a pet just because you want to impress someone–or keep a relationship intact–for the holidays. (This includes those multi-hued Easter chicks). When the tinsel is stripped from the recyclable tree and egg nog cups are packed up, you turn around … and the dog needs walking, training, bathing, consoling, punishment, veterinary attention, rescuing, feeding, loving, attention, attention, attention! Or the kitten needs all of the above but, first, rescue her from where she’s squeezed herself in between the recliner and the mini-fridge. Or parakeets need most of the above but, first, you’ve got to determine if they’re both females or both males. Getting the picture? Get a pet, certainly, but be certain you really want an animal companion, not just a ‘Hey, look at my new status symbol!’

LOVE ME TRUE RESCUE • The new facility provides a home for kittens and cats before they find a forever home. Adoptions are held every Saturday, 11 a.m.3 p.m. at 5150 Palm Valley Rd., Ste. 403, Ponte Vedra, lovemetruerescue.com. They’re looking for adult volunteers, too, so do a mitzvah and sign up. Email lovemetruerescue@gmail.com. NASSAU COUNTY ANIMAL SERVICES ADOPT A PET • There are oodles of dogs and cats waiting for a nice, warm, clean, happy home. Viewing hours are Tue.-Fri., 11 a.m.-4 p.m.; Sat., 11 a.m.-3 p.m., 86078 License Rd., Fernandina, 530-6150, nassaucountyfl.com. Downloadable application. DECEMBER 19-25, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 33

NEWS OF THE WEIRD I COULD SEE RIGHT THROUGH HIM

In January, Amanda Sparrow Large, 46, of Belfast, Ireland, stretched the May-December union to new lengths when she wed a 300-year-old ghost of a Haitian pirate. “I wanted the big traditional wedding with the white dress. It was very important to me,” she told the Irish Mirror. Ms. Large said that “Jack,” who was executed for thievery on the high seas, became known to her one night in 2014, when she felt the energy of a spirit lying next to her in bed. Large has worked as a Jack Sparrow impersonator, and she believes that job opened the door for her spirit-husband to reach out. Alas, the Mirror reported on Dec. 8, it didn’t work out for the odd couple: “I will explain all in due course,” Large wrote on social media, “but for now all I want to say is be VERY careful when dabbling in spirituality. It’s not something to mess with.”

SLOPPY JOES

Rhode Island’s Cranston School District is taking its response to delinquent school lunch accounts up a notch, reported WJAR TV on Dec. 6. District COO Raymond Votto Jr. sent a letter to parents notifying them that a collection agency will be contacting those with lunch overdrafts starting Jan. 2. He also shared the current deficit is almost $46,000. “The district lunch program cannot continue to lose revenue,” Votto wrote. The letter said students will still be fed. Families owing more than $20 will be notified by mail.

BROMANCE

In Washington state, Anthony Akers, 38, and the Richland Police Department embarked on an amusing meet-cute of law and fugitive on Nov. 28 when the department posted a wanted photo of Akers on its Facebook page. Five hours after that, National Public Radio reported, Akers responded: “Calm down, i’m going to turn myself in.” Akers was a no-show, so the cops messaged him the next day: “Hey Anthony! We haven’t seen you yet.” Officers offered him a ride. But Akers couldn’t be bothered: “Thank you, tying up a couple loose ends since i will probably be in there for

34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 19-25, 2018

a month.” He promised to surrender within 48 hours. The weekend passed without Akers, so officers wrote: “Is it us? We waited but you didn’t show.” Akers replied: “Dear RPD, it’s not you, it’s me. I obviously have commitment issues. ... P.S. You’re beautiful.” Finally, on Dec. 4, Akers went to Richland police station, posting a selfie with the caption: “Thank you RPD for letting me do this on my own.” Ain’t love grand?

JUST A TRIM

Science teacher Margaret Gieszinger, 52, at University Preparatory High School in Visalia, California, was caught on video chopping off students’ hair with scissors on Dec. 5, while loudly, and incorrectly, singing “The StarSpangled Banner.” The Visalia Times-Delta wrote the video showed Gieszinger starting with a male student in a chair at the front of the room, cutting hunks of his hair and tossing them behind her. When she moved on to a female student, other kids screamed and ran from the classroom. Lilli Gates, one of Gieszinger’s students, told the Times-Delta the teacher “is a loving and kind lady. She is usually all smiles and laughs. This is not the Miss G. we know and love.” After Gieszinger’s arrest on suspicion of felony child endangerment, the district notified parents she wouldn’t be returning to the school.

WHERE DO I SEE MYSELF IN 5 YEARS?

Dominick Breedlove of Spring Hill, Florida, killed any chance he might have had to land a job at Kohl’s on Dec. 5, reported Fox 13 News, by getting arrested for shoplifting after his interview. Breedlove arrived at Human Resources around 3:20 that afternoon, Hernando County Sheriff’s deputies said, browsing in the shoe department afterward. A loss prevention officer watching Breedlove told police the suspect went out to his car, got a Kohl’s shopping bag and came back in. He then hid two pairs of Nike athletic shoes worth $150 in the bag. Breedlove was charged with shoplifting. The sheriff’s office confirmed he was not hired. weirdnewstips@amuniversal.com

DALE RATERMANN’s Folio Weekly Crossword presented by

Serving Excellence Since 1928 Member American Gem Society

San Marco 2044 San Marco Blvd. 398-9741

Ponte Vedra

THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA

330 A1A North 280-1202

Avondale 3617 St. Johns Ave. 388-5406

FOLIO WEEKLY CROSSWORD 1

16 17 18 20 21 23 24 25 28 31

32 36 38 39 40 41 42 43 45 47 48 49 50

Lady’s mate Rocker Nugent Wallet items FYI relative Intense anger UF frat letter Light Boat Parade mo. Motorist’s grp. Catch in a JSO sting Chinese dog 1040 org. Tree knot “You bet!” Perched on Fast bucks Fishing site Tori ___ : “Welcome to Sunny Florida” Ways go-with Card a 72 at TPC Sawgrass Go nuts Sail off course Jax Zoo beast Indian royal JIA safety org. Bacon request Sensible Vietnam city Kind of cow Cold and damp Seminoles artifact

31 34 37 10 13 14 15

ACROSS

22 25

53 Puck shape 56 Telltale sign 57 Dot on a St. Johns River map 61 Sighed word 62 UNF athletes 64 Mayo doc bloc 65 “Enough already!” 66 Hans Tanzler’s high school 67 Fa follower 68 Armada nada 69 Sixth sense 70 ISP option 71 Take to court 72 “And so on...”

DOWN 31 Perform with First Coast Opera 32 Mideast nation 33 Musical McEntire 34 St. Johns Town Center car dealer 35 Biblical suffix 36 Li’l Abner’s love 37 Prefaces 38 Donut Shoppe quantity, often 39 WTLV’s Law & Order: ___ 10 Angler’s need 11 Luau fare 12 Eaves nester

19 22 24 26 27 28 29 30 33 34 35 37 38 41 44 45 46

Chamblin section Renovate Naval assents Too schmaltzy Modern pictograph FSU major My Friend Flicka author Type of situation Insurance giant Jewish month Piece of celery Piglike creature Wood shaper Impetuosity Washer cycle Less cooked ___ & ends

48 Make do 51 Kuhn’s flowers of love 52 Florida Theatre path 53 Palm fruit 54 Pet store brand 55 Mayport craft 58 I-95 division 59 Reversed time? 60 Bath powder 62 Over the hill 63 Starting at the lower left corner, the letters in the circles reveal a message from Folio Weekly to ___

SOLUTION TO 12.12.18 PUZZLE P L E A S

M A C A U

O V E R

H E M I

M T O O U N E

S P W S I O R P N O C O R A R A X B I T S E U A S O P E R O N S T E O T

H O B N O B O O P S T R I

O N M E H T I T O P W A T A E T R E O S E

S T A I R I M H O N O G S

H E P A N K I D R E N I N A A C Y S H A L E N A A N M A R E R T A A E R I T E M E R P R E E S S I

A N A L

W I L L

L P G A

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L A Z E S DECEMBER 19-25, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35

Folio Weekly helps you connect with that dreamboat you saw in the produce aisle or the hot hunk by the lifeguard stand. Go to folioweekly.com/i-saw-u.html, fill out the FREE form correctly (40 words or fewer, dammit) by 5 p.m. THURSDAY for the next Wednesday’s FW. And who knows? Even the losers get lucky sometimes!

Finally! Friday, Dec. 21 is CROSSWORD PUZZLE DAY! And … eeee! … It’s HUMBUG DAY! And, yeah, we know you know, but it bears repeating: Sunday, Dec. 23 is

FESTIVUS! (Yes, for the *ahem* rest of us. Great honk.)

Use FW’s handy ISUs to find love!

At this poignant time of year, we pause to reflect upon the good things in life. At least, most folks do. There’s always that one screwball who seems to think grumbling and growling and being a first-class Scrooge is somehow ‘cute’ or ‘seasonally appropriate.’ Go to folioweekly.com/i-saw-u.html and do these steps: One: Write a brief headline so the person recalls the moment you met, like: “ISU selecting pieces of coal at Lowe’s.” Two: Describe the person, like, “You: Choosing only crumbling, nasty looking lumps.” Three: Describe yourself, like, “Me: Blissfully unaware Santa has me down to get nuttin’ but coal.” Four: Describe the moment, like, “I realized I ain’t been nuttin’ but bad. Somebody snitched on me. You said, ‘I hear those sleigh bells ringing.’” Five: Send a 40-WORD message to that special unknown quantity. No names, emails, websites, etc. Find love with our ISUs at folioweekly.com/i-saw-u.html! GARROD’S MOM, GREAT SMILE You: Long coat, boots, walking Garrod (white Maltese) outside Flying Iguana; stopped, said hello. Me: Red long-sleeved shirt. I petted Garrod, we talked, you smiled–something clicked. Let’s meet again. Maybe a “rare thing” happening. When: Dec. 12. Where Beaches Town Center, outside Flying Iguana. #1714-1219 AFC EAST HAIL MARY You: Pretty ponytail through Bills hat; passionate about your team. Me: Mind racing under Jets hat when you appeared. We talked for a minute before you left with friends. Our teams suck. We wouldn’t. When: Oct. 14. Where: Hoptinger, Jax Beach. #1713-1107 RED HAIR MONSTER HOOTS You: Dancing; one of the twins fell out your top -) Me: Accordion player, tripped on mic cord, hit my head! Awoke from coma, thought of you! I’ll be at the Pot Sunday, boogie-ready. Be there. When: July 4, 1998. Where: Crab Pot. #1712-1024 I WONDER U Saturday thrift-store shopping. U said u liked my shirt and showed me your ankle tattoo. Very symbolic meeting. Wish we’d talked a little more. Let’s trade bootlegs. Acknowledge me. When: Sept. 22. Where: Betty Griffin Center Thrift Shoppe, St. Augustine. #1711-1003 HARVARD AVE. UBER RIDER You: Tall, attractive student advisor. Me: Drove you from friend’s house. Thanks for $10 tip. I liked our conversations along the way; key things in common. Talk again? If you feel same, respond. When: Sept. 8. Where: Riverside. #1710-0919 GOLDEN CORRAL SAN JOSE You: Dining solo, booth behind us, blonde hair/beard, gorgeous blue eyes, blue shirt, jeans, white van. Me: With mom, son; brunette, Jags shirt, black shorts, black car. Let’s meet. Single? Coffee? When: Aug. 18. Where: Golden Corral. #1709-0829 PETITE BRUNETTE ON BICYCLE You: Bicycling. Me: Driving. I stopped, asked for directions. You seemed shy but friendly. Coffee at Bold Bean? When: Aug. 7. Where: Avondale. #1708-0822 36 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 19-25, 2018

SOUTHERN GROUNDS BLEND You: Pretty lady, khaki shorts, print top, recommended dark roast coffee. Me: Blue shirt, jean shorts. Single? Would’ve liked to chat, but with yoga friends. Namaste! When: July 29. Where: San Marco Southern Grounds. #1707-0808 HAWAIIAN SHIRT, GIN & TONIC Outside bar. You said my drink looked good. Me: “Only drink worth bootlegging.” You: Sharp, white slacks, heels, blue blouse; late friends. Wish they’d stood you up; we would’ve had fun. Try again? When: July 18. Where: PV Pussers. #1706-0725 SUN-RAY FRONT LINE You: Cool couple. Man, button-up. Woman, hip glasses, platforms. Us: Tall brunette, floral dress. Man, average height, white button-up. In chaotic Hearts Beat Loud crowd. Bonded over Sun-Ray’s beauty. Dig your vibe; meet again? When: July 8. Where: SunRay Cinema. #1705-0711 FIREHOUSE “O” You: Silver shorts, black hat, orange nails. Me: Camo hat, brown T-shirt. Wanted to talk; you left. Thought of you rest of day. Make it every day? When: 12:30 p.m. June 21. Where: 5 Points Firehouse Subs. #1704-0627 BLACK 4-DOOR CADILLAC You watched me putting a shot back in the back of my car. You stopped and had your flashers on and I was too shy to stop. I wish I had. When: June 13. Where: Home Depot Lane Ave. #1703-0620

ISU

Connex Made SANDY TOES & A ROSE You: Mocked my princess-wedding dreams, then strode over sand, rose in hand. Young men admired your moxie. Me: Sure you’re a romantic. Hard to surf the pier’s 1-2’ without longboard. Hang yours in my garage? When: May 21. Where: Jax Beach Pier. #1702-0620 EASTER SUNDAY: THIS IS SILLY You: Serving, tall, tattoos, beautiful eyes; sweeping close by on purpose? Me: Dirty blonde, striped dress, dark lipstick, lunch, parents. Eyes met. Should’ve left my number. Can I sit in your section next time? When: April 1. Where: Black Sheep. #1701-0606

FREEWILL ASTROLOGY

JEAN COCTEAU, ISAAC NEWTON, WINNIE-THE-POOH & TOLSTOY ARIES (March 21-April 19): Consumer Reports writes that between 1975 and 2008, the average number of products in a supermarket rose from about 9,000 to nearly 47,000. The glut is holding steady. Years ago, you chose from three or four brands of soup and shampoo. Now, there are about 20 brands of each. I suspect 2019 brings a comparable expansion in some life choices–especially when you’re deciding about your future and who your allies should be. It could be a problem and a blessing. For best results, make choices with these three things: fun, usefulness and meaningfulness. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Folks have tried to turn ordinary metals into gold since at least 300 AD. Back then, Egyptian alchemist Zosimos of Panopolis unsuccessfully mixed sulfur and mercury, hoping to perform magic. Nope; 14 centuries later, seminal scientist Isaac Newton failed to make gold from cheap metal. Fast-forward to 20thcentury chemist Glenn T. Seaborg, a distinguished researcher who won a share of 1951’s Nobel Prize for Chemistry. He and his team experimented with bismuth, an element next to lead on the periodical table. By using a particle accelerator, they literally transmuted a small bit of bismuth into gold. This is your 2019 teaching story, to seek transformations never before possible.

honeysuckle but by everything–marigolds, bog after bog of small sundews, the cold smell of spruce.” LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “Be very, very careful what you put into that head, because you will never, ever get it out.” This advice is sometimes attributed to 16th-century politician and cardinal Thomas Wolsey. It’s one of your important 2019 themes. Here’s how to take it to heart. First, be extremely discerning about what ideas, theories and opinions you let flow into your imagination. Make sure they’re based on objective facts and good for you. Second, aggressively purge old ideas, theories and opinions from your head, especially if they’re outmoded, unfounded or toxic. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Memorize this by author Peter Newton and keep it close to your awareness in the months ahead: “No remorse. No if-onlys. Just the alertness of being.” Another maxim, from author Mignon McLaughlin: “Every day of our lives we are on the verge of making those slight changes that would make all the difference.” Shall we make it three for three for 2019? From author A.A. Milne (Winnie-the-Pooh): “You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): President Donald Trump wants to build a concrete, fenced wall between Mexico and America, to slow the flow of immigrants across the border. Meanwhile, 12 North African nations are collaborating to build a 4,750-mile-long wall of drought-resistant trees at the Saharan border, to keep the desert from destroying farmland. During 2019, I’ll be hoping you draw inspiration from those nations, not that first one. Erecting new boundaries will be healthy–if done out of love and for the sake of your health, not fear and divisiveness.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Until 1920, most American women couldn’t vote. Few ever ran for public office. There were exceptions. In 1866, Elizabeth Cady Stanton was the first to seek a Congressional seat. In 1875, Victoria Woodhull ran for president. Susanna Salter was the first woman mayor in 1887. According to astrological omen-analysis, 2019 is your Stanton-Woodhull-Salter kind of year. You’ll be ahead of your time, primed to innovate. You’ll have courage and resourcefulness to try unlikely, unprecedented feats, and a knack for bringing the future into the present.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Cancerian poet and filmmaker Jean Cocteau advised artists to notice aspects of their work critics didn’t like–then cultivate those precise aspects. He regarded the disparaged or misconstrued elements as key to an artist’s uniqueness and originality, even if immature. I’m expanding his suggestion, applying it to all Crabs for the next 10 months, even if you’re not strictly an artist. Watch carefully what your community seems to misunderstand about new trends you’re pursuing, and work hard to ripen them.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Studies show the best possible solution to the problem of homelessness is to provide cheap or free living spaces for the many homeless people in cities and towns across America. It’s the most effective way to help and it’s the least expensive. Got a similar problem? A chronic difficulty you keep putting Band-Aids on but it won’t heal? Well, 2019 will be a good time to dig down for deeper, more fundamental solutions; to finally fix a troublesome issue.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In 1891, 29-year-old British mother Constance Garnett decided to study Russian and become a translator. She learned fast. For the next 40 years, she produced English translations of 71 Russian literary books, including works by Tolstoy, Dostoyevsky, Turgenev and Chekhov, many never before in English. I see 2019 as a Constance Garnett-type year. A late blooming potential you have could enter a period of rapid maturation. Awash in enthusiasm and ambition, you’ll have power to launch a new development phase to animate and motivate a long time. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I predict 2019 is a nurturing chapter in your story. You’ll feel more loved and supported; you’ll be more at home in your body and more at peace with your fate than you’ve been in a long time. I chose an appropriate blessing to bestow, written by poet Claire Wahmanholm. Speak her words as if they were yours. “On Earth I am held, honeysuckled not just by

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Many Icelanders write poems, but only a few publish them. There’s a word for those who put their creations in a drawer rather than seek an audience: skúffuskáld, literally translated as “drawer-poet.” Do you have a similar phenomenon? Do you produce a good thing but never share it? Is there a part of you you’re proud of but keep secret? If so, 2019 is the year to change your mind. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Scientists at London’s Goldsmiths University did an in-depth study to determine the catchiest pop song ever recorded. After extensive research, evaluating an array of factors, they decided Queen’s “We Are the Champions” is the winner–the song more folks love to sing. This triumphant tune happens to be your 2019 theme song. Learn the lyrics and melody, and sing it once a day. It may help build the natural confidence-building influences streaming into your life. Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

HEMP, HEMP,

REGULAR READERS will recall our April 11 column–or maybe not (short-term memory loss and all). Even I had totally forgotten its content. Why? Because the column was about Mitch McConnell, and I refuse to let him occupy valuable brain real estate. I need that space to remember the names of jazz sidemen from the 1950s, obscure mobsters of the pre-war era and, of course, every single thing that has ever happened in the history of professional wrestling. Much like wrestling, politics is a business in which enemies pretend to be friends, friends pretend to be enemies, and everything you see on TV is a transparent hustle designed to take your money. There are few better examples of this than McConnell (R-KY), the perpetually embattled Senate Majority Leader. He spent his entire career supporting our nation’s draconian drug laws before scheming to eliminate restrictions on industrial hemp–not because it was the right thing to do, but because his state was traditionally a major producer of the stuff. His plans took a big step forward last week, when his lame-duck congressional colleagues passed the 2019 Farm Bill, an $867 billion bucket of slop served as a sop to companies like Conagra, Archer Daniels Midland and the infamous Monsanto (all of which are banking bigly on corporate welfare disguised as relief for the small farmers whose lives have been ruined by these same industrial giants, resulting in a rust-belt suicide epidemic and endemic instability; these days, commodities prices fluctuate more wildly than the president’s heart rate when he Googles himself). The bill sailed through both houses of Congress by margins rarely seen in these hyperpolarized times: 386-47 in the House, 87-13 in the Senate. Typically, such bipartisan consensus is seen only when it’s time to murder children in foreign countries because their leaders stopped

WEED

following orders. In this case, however, it was the judicious application of pork that brought all the factions in line. The president is expected to sign it into law–illegibly, no doubt. For the most part, the provision to legalize hemp costs nothing, but it drew a lot of media hype because subsidies are boring and difficult to explain. Currently, the domestic hemp industry is worth about $800 million, much of which is drawn from Chinese, Canadian and European imports. Some estimates project a future value of more than $20 billion within just five years. Right now, the stuff is used primarily to generate CBD and the odd textile, but the new law will lead to an almost immediate explosion of products across the full spectrum of consumer goods. Acreage allocated for growing hemp increased from 26,000 to almost 80,000 in this past year alone, so expect a quick jump to a quarter-million acres or more. Most of the output will be used for clothes. Besides the hemp stuff, another farm-bill bonus is an end of expanded work requirements for food stamp recipients. Predictably, the White House has signaled its intent to continue its assault on the poor regardless of legislation. After all, they can’t afford to spend money at Trump properties, and that’s how power accrues in D.C. these days. (Ask the Saudis.) There’s also money for farms run by veterans and minorities, organic farmers and local farmers’ markets, all of which appeal to both liberals and small “c” conservatives. It’s a rare occasion for Washington pols to actually come together to do the right thing. But with majorleague gridlock on the horizon starting in January, it’s unlikely to happen again. Shelton Hull mail@folioweekly.com ___________________________________ Do you have questions about medical marijuana? Let us answer them for you. Send your inquiries to mail@folioweekly.com.

HOORAY! New farm bill gives hemp the GREEN LIGHT

DECEMBER 19-25, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37

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FICTITIOUS NAMES NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN that the undersigned, desiring to engage in business under the fictitious name of 904HolidayLights located at 11330 Skimmer Ct, in the County of Duval, in the City of Jacksonville, Florida 32225 intends to register the said name with the Division of Corporations of the Florida Department of State, Tallahassee, Florida. Dated at Jacksonville, Florida, this 12 day of December, 2018. Kevin E Harris Jr

ANNOUNCEMENTS This notice is to inform the community that the Florida Institute for Reproductive Medicine’s office located at 1577 Roberts Drive, Suite 220 in Jacksonville Beach, Florida is closing December 28, 2018. The patient records will still be available at our 836 Prudential Drive, Suite 902, Jacksonville, Florida 32207 location. All our other Jacksonville, Florida sites will still be Open Monday through Friday to assist patients with their Reproductive/ Infertility concerns. Our office phone number is 904-399-5620.

38 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 19-25, 2018

FOLIO VOICES : BACKPAGE EDITORIAL RECENTLY RELEASED ELEASED BY 13 FEDERAL AGENCIES, such as the Department of Defense, NOA NOAA O A and NASA,, the second volume of the F Fourth ourth National Climate hass limate Assessment (NCA) ha h sobering news ews for the future of the U.S. S In particular, impacts to our health from cclimate limate change could Florida uld be especially dire in Flori ida if we don’t act ct now. Climatee change is expected to brin bring ng out the extremes: extreme heat, rain, remes: droughts, wildfires and storms. Not every region will experience climate change ange the same way; one communityy may see excessive rain and flooding ooding that damages infrastructure ure and homes, while another her might see droughts and nd an increase in dangerous wildfires fueled by dry weather. ther. Regardless of what climate mate change looks like in n your region, it’s bound to increase health risks—from m the dangers of raging wildfires and increasingly ly strong hurricanes to more insidious sidious effects like mosquito-borne borne diseases and higher levels els of dangerous mold due to o a warmer and wetter climate. mate. During a recent briefing with Florida scientists, entists, Jacksonville area gastroenterologist enterologist Todd Sack weighed in on the assessment. “This report reminds inds us of what we’ve already known, own, which is that climate change is the he No. 1 public health threat to our planet et and to Florida in the 21st century,” ry,” said Dr. Sack. According ing to the NCA, if we don’t dramatically ly reduce greenhouse gas emissions, climate change could result in tens of thousands of deaths each year from extreme temperatures. Heat-related deaths are of particular concern for the Southeast. In a higher emissions scenario, the report projects the Southeast will face “the largest heat-related impacts on labor productivity in the country, resulting in average annual losses of 570 million labor hours, or $47 billion” by 2090. The assessment also projects less obvious effects. Without meaningful action, poor air quality from climate change could lead to hundreds to thousands of deaths each year. Allergies, asthma and hay fever are expected to become increasingly prevalent and more severe. Warmer air, water and excessive precipitation are likely to increase exposure to waterborne and foodborne diseases. Shifts in the climate also affect the distribution of some disease-transmitting insects, meaning climate change is likely to expose more people to mosquitoes that transmit viruses like West Nile, encephalitis and Zika, not to mention ticks that carry Lyme disease. And let’s not forget the respiratory issues that come along with red tide and other toxic algae blooms, which are fueled by warmer, wetter weather. Of course, the impacts of climate change extend far beyond human health. More

reatens our HEALTH and h t e our g han ECO c te NO a m MY i l C

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SOBERING NEWS broadly, the health of our planet and its many diverse species are also at stake if we fail to address this critical issue. At the recent 24th Conference of the Parties to the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change (COP24) in Poland, naturalist David Attenborough bluntly warned, “If we don’t take action, the collapse of our civilisations and the extinction of much of the natural world is on the horizon.” Besides threats to our environment, our health and our safety, the National Climate Assessment estimates that many counties could see a decline in gross domestic product (GDP) of as much as 10 percent by the end of the century. In nearby Union County, which is projected to be the nation’s worsthit county, economic losses could reach nearly 28 percent in a likely scenario in which greenhouse gas emissions continue to increase. Case in point. In Florida, tourism is our No. 1 industry, generating 23 percent of the state’s sales tax revenue and employing more than one million Floridians. Our tourism-

based economy helps to keep taxes low. In 2017, almost 120 million visitors spent $112 billion, creating almost 1.5 million jobs. Now imagine a Florida where the heat is too extreme to go to Disney World or the beach, where longer mosquito seasons and intensified toxic algae blooms send tourists packing. This year, in the midst of the longest red tide outbreak in more than a decade, tourists canceled their Florida vacations, and some coastal businesses saw revenues decline. All of this does not paint a pretty picture of the Sunshine State for the years to come— especially when the president of the United States chooses to ignore the facts of this more than 1,600-page report. All of that bad news aside, there is still reason to be optimistic if we act now and move quickly to drastically reduce our greenhouse gas emissions. Faced with the lack of federal action from the Trump Administration and state action from Florida’s governor, many of the state’s local government leaders are working to fill the void when it comes to

climate solutions. Cities and counties are cou implementing regional climate and a resiliency collaboratives to work together toward t solutions. The Southeast Florida Regional Climate Change Compact, formed forme in 2010, led the way, and others have followed suit. In follo the Jacksonville area, the Northeast Florida Northe Regional Planning Council brought together brou their community to examine vulnerabilities vul to sea-level rise with the P2R2 Public Pu Private Regional Resiliency effort. effo A more comprehensive effort formed on Florida’s Gulf Coast this October, th the Tampa Bay Regional Resiliency C Coalition, to enable intergovernme intergovernmental Gulf Coast, and collaboration on the Gu Florida Regional the East Central Florid recently passed Planning Council rece develop a regional a resolution to develo collaborative in its resiliency collaborati area. The Florida As Association of Counties also recent recently added the call for a State Resili Resiliency Plan and formal cooperat cooperation among these collaboratives tto its list of legislative priorities. What is perhaps tthe key aspect of resilience is to avoid worse. Only making the problem w dangerous carbon if we reduce the dange pollution that’s driving the problem can we avoid the worst implications of climate change. according to a The good news, accor report by the New Climate Economy, is that if we make the right choices over the next few years, we co could create 65 million new low-carbon jobs and avoid more than 700,000 premature de deaths from air pollution. These solutions ar are available and affordable. The cost of solar panels has dropped, making it feasible for m more home dropped and business owners to reduce their carbon footprint and save money. Solar United Neighbors solar co-ops and financing from the Solar & Energy Loan Fund make it even easier and more cost effective to go solar. The deployment of electric vehicles and the installation of vehicle charging stations make it possible for more drivers to reduce carbon. The solutions are out there, and we must deploy them to ensure a safe and healthy today as well as a future for our children tomorrow. When it comes to leaders who are still on the sidelines, Dr. Sack had this to say: “We know the disease, we know what causes it, and we even know how to treat it, and yet we’re not embarking on that treatment. And that’s something we have to hold our communities responsible for—for treating the disease now before it’s too late.” Wise words. Let’s heed them before it’s too late. Susan Glickman mail@folioweekly.com _____________________________________ Glickman, the Florida Director of the Southern Alliance for Clean Energy, was recently named to Florida Trend’s inaugural list of 500 Most Influential Business Leaders.

FOLIO WEEKLY welcomes Backpage submissions. They should be 1,200 words or fewer and on a topic of local interest and/or concern. Send submissions to mail@folioweekly.com. Opinions expressed on the Backpage are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Folio Weekly. DECEMBER 19-25, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 39