2 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 25-31, 2019
THIS WEEK // 12.25.19-12.31.19 // VOL. 32 ISSUE 39
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MAIN FEATURE
THE MAIL
PERSON OF THE YEAR
Matt Carlucci fights the power Story by Georgio Valentino, cover photo by Josh Wessolowski
COURTESY OF U.S. REP. PETER DEFAZIO ACCORDING TO A NEW REPORT FROM THE U.S. Bureau of Economic Analysis, corporate taxes are on track to be the lowest portion of overall federal tax revenue ever–data that goes back to 1929–and 91 of Fortune 500 companies paid zero income tax in 2018. This windfall for corporations is due to the Trump-GOP tax bill that was enacted in 2017.
Michael Hoffmann via email
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WELLNESS PICKS
9 NEW YEAR’S EVE PICKS 10 ARTS + EVENTS 14 CONCERTS 16 PETS 18
CROSSWORD NEWS OF THE WEIRD ASTROLOGY WEED CLASSIFIEDS
19 20 20 21 22
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EDITORIAL
EDITOR • Georgio Valentino georgio@folioweekly.com / ext. 115 COPY EDITOR • Courtney Stringfellow courtney@folioweekly.com CALENDAR EDITORS • Brianna Bostick, Tristan Komorny CARTOONISTS • Ed Hall, Jen Sorensen CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Susan Clark Armstrong, Nick Blank, Brianna Bostick, Rob Brezsny, Nicole Carroll, Davi, Julie Delegal, Chris Guerrieri, Laura Hampton, Janet Harper, Dan Hudak, Shelton Hull, Jason Irvin, Tristan Komorny, Mary Maguire, Sarah McLaughlin, Jennifer Melville, Lindsey Nolen, Dale Ratermann, Ryan Reno, Stephanie Thompson, Madeleine Peck Wagner, Jessica Leigh Walton
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WHERE ARE COMMUNITY & CITY LEADERS?
RE.: Where Are Community & City Leaders by Garey K. Jefferson, Nov. 13 I WAS MOVED TO WRITE A RESPONSE TO GAREY K. Jefferson’s letter concerning the closing of Publix Supermarket in the Gateway/Norwood area. In his letter, Mr. Jefferson states: “I also knew the mayor of Jacksonville would come to the aid of the community–as he always has for the Jacksonville Jaguars. I was also looking for the very public display of the local Black clergy. How could they let this injustice to the community pass? Of course, the appropriate City Council representatives have taken to the media to express their shock...” Unfortunately, one pervasive stereotype of food insecurity is that it touches only African-American neighborhoods and other communities of color. The truth is that food deserts are an issue in
each of the four quadrants of this city. Of course it is more of a problem in some areas than in others. It is also a fact that the Gateway Publix serves several communities that include those of the Caucasian persuasion as well as those from other backgrounds, but truly, this should be inconsequential. The real question is how could any of us allow something we view as an injustice pass? The thought that only African Americans should respond to something viewed as an injustice is troubling. Why should it just be the ‘Black clergy’ or ‘appropriate City Council representatives’ who respond? If Jacksonville is our house, then the concern about our neighbors having access to affordable food and fresh vegetables is a problem in a house that belongs to all of us. A problem in one community eventually becomes a problem for us all; it manifests itself in one way or another. The response to multilayered problems such as these is to think creatively and outside of the box; this isn’t a black and white issue metaphorically or literally. There are shades of gray. Though, I was initially moved to respond to Mr. Jefferson, it’s necessary to say that we should all be attempting to put forth potential answers, all of us. All of our city leaders and all of us who care about the plight of our fellow humans should respond in an effort to ensure that resources are available no matter where you live in Jacksonville.
Tracie Thornton via email
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BRICKBATS + BOUQUETS BOUQUET TO THE FLASHBACKS, PINE CASTLE BAND
@folioweekly
Led by musical director Abigail Gruber, the 11-member rock group has recently released its first album, Holiday at the Castle. The ensemble comprises participants of the day program at Pine Castle, a Jacksonville organization that serves individuals across the spectrum of ability. The Flashbacks have also begun to perform live, including an appearance at Riverside Arts Market.
BOUQUET TO THE FRIENDS OF THE PONTE VEDRA CONCERT HALL
45 West Bay Street Suite 103 Jacksonville, Florida 32202 PHONE 904.260.9770 FAX 904.260.9773
JOIN THESE MASTHEAD MEMBERS AT FOLIOWEEKLY.COM/SUPPORTLOCALJOURNALISM Betsy McCall • Rose McCall • David Jaffee • Dave Graney • MRE of Jax • Mark S. Rowden • Tammy Lugenia Cherry Dr. Wayne Wood • Billie Bussard • Elizabeth Sams • Georgia R Pribanic
This month, the nonprofit donated $42,000 to the Ponte Vedra Concert Hall. The sum is to be used to purchase a new lighting system. Installation begins next week, and the results will be unveiled on Jan. 15. This is the second major improvement financed by the group. In 2017, it funded the addition of an outdoor deck to the venue.
BOUQUET TO THE ST. AUGUSTINE LIGHTHOUSE & MARITIME MUSEUM On Dec. 11, Tallahassee’s Volunteer Florida announced that the historic site was one of 22 nonprofit and service organizations throughout the state to be awarded grants through its Volunteer Generation Fund (VGF). The lighthouse received $20,000, which will be used to expand civic engagement and educational opportunities. DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? OR MAYBE A BRICKBAT? Submit your choice to mail@folioweekly. com; 50-word maximum, concerning a person, place, or topic of local interest.
DECEMBER 25-31, 2019 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 3
OUR
PICKS
FRI
27 FROM COTTAGE TO CLUBHOUSE POCKET OF LOLLIPOPS
Comprising bassist Maitejosune Urrechaga and drummer Tony Kapel, the Miami indie duo bring their soundscapes to Kona’s clubhouse. Also on the bill: Mercy Mercy, Kim & Kayne Sext Ape and AC Deathstrike. 7 p.m. Friday, Dec. 27, Kona Skatepark, Arlington, konaskatepark.com, $5-$10.
THIS WEEK’S BIGGEST
& BEST HAPPENINGS
THU
26 FREIGHT TRAIN
THE MELODY TRUCKS BAND
Butch’s daughter and her six-piece rock group count down to 2020. Bonnie Blue and The Firewater Tent Revival open. 7 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 26, 1904 Music Hall, Downtown, 1904musichall.com, $15/$20.
SUN
29 TICKLE IVORIES VICTOR WAINWRIGHT
The Grammy Award-nominated boogie and blues pianist performs with his band, The Train. Wainwright is known for his soulful vocals, tremendous stage presence and rollicking compositions. 8 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 29, Cafe Eleven, St. Augustine Beach, originalcafe11.com, $25/$30. 4 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 25-31, 2019
MON
30 ONE HORSE TOWN
BLACKBERRY SMOKE
The Atlanta-based Southern rock group presents its sixth studio album, Find a Light, and perform early hits like “One Horse Town” and “Pretty Little Lie.” Bishop Gunn opens. 8 p.m. Monday, Dec. 30, Florida Theatre, Downtown floridatheatre.com, $25-$45.
MON
30 THE PALE TOURIST
JIM GAFFIGAN
A bona fide and pasty white star of stage and screen, the everyman comedian riffs on fatherhood and everyday life. 7 p.m. Monday, Dec. 30, VyStar Veterans Arena, Sports Complex, vystarveteransarena.com, $33.09-$57.09.
DECEMBER 25-31, 2019 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5
PICKS
BY JENNIFER MELVILLE | KIDS@FOLIOWEEKLY.COM
Thank you for the opportunity to bring you quality family events each week in 2019. This is my final Kids Picks collection. I had a blast making memories with you. It’s a military town, and the Melvilles are on to new adventures. Wishing each and every one of you a happy holiday and an amazing new year! Jennifer Melville
THU
26 DELISH
TEENS COOKING CAMP
Classic Italian and French cuisine take center stage at this two-day teen cooking camp, hosted by Publix Aprons Cooking School. Chefs ages 13 to 17 learn to make Truffled Mushroom Risotto and Ratatouille, all while developing serious life skills. 6-8:30 p.m. Thursday & Friday, Dec. 26 & 27, Publix Aprons Cooking School, 10500 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 36, Southside, publix.com, $90.
WED
25
OLD-FASHIONED FUN VENARDOS CIRCUS
The circus is back in town December 18-January 5th! Their high-flying aerialists, acrobats, and animal-free entertainment is wholesome and totally worth the trip to St. Augustine. Come early for pre-show entertainment and be sure to grab some popcorn and cotton candy. Through Jan. 5, The Amp, 1340C A1A S., St. Augustine, venardoscircus.com, $15-25.
SUN
29
DREIDELS & MENORAHS
HEMMING PARK’S TOTALLY LIT HANUKKAH PARTY
In addition to the Menorah lighting at 6:15 p.m., this free holiday festival boasts live music, crafts, dreidel games, kosher food and wine, and storytelling to celebrate Jewish traditions. 3-7 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 29, Hemming Park, 135 W. Monroe St., Downtown, hemmingpark.org, free. 6 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 25-31, 2019
PICKS
BY DALE RATERMANN | SPORTS@FOLIOWEEKLY.COM
SUN
29 WAIT ‘TIL NEXT YEAR! JAGUARS VS. COLTS
Even if you don’t think the Jags have a chance to win their season finale, it’s still an NFL game. Watch Jaxson de Ville, the ROAR dance and all the replays on the world’s largest outdoor screens. The beer will be cold and the hot dogs will be, well, tepid. Enjoy! 4:25 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 29, TIAA Bank Field, Sports Complex, jaguars.com, $17 and up.
MON
30 GREEN DON’T QUIT
JU DOLPHINS MEN’S BASKETBALL
Jacksonville University battles South Carolina State at historic Swisher Gymnasium. The Dolphins are 7-3 all-time against SCSU, including a 71-69 win last season. 7 p.m. Monday, Dec. 30, Swisher Gym, 2800 University Blvd. N., Arlington, judolphins.com, $10.
TUE
31 RISE TOGETHER
UNF VS. EWC WOMEN’S BASKETBALL
Catch two local women’s college basketball teams in action when the UNF Ospreys play host to the Edward Waters Tigers. It’s a special New Year’s Eve matinee in the comfy UNF Arena with free admission for everyone! 2 p.m. Tuesday, Dec. 31, UNF Arena, 11852 UNF Dr., Southside, unfospreys.com, free. DECEMBER 25-31, 2019 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7
PICKS
BY STEPHANIE THOMPSON | LIBERTY@FOLIOWEEKLY.COM
TUE
31 HOLIDAY 5K
VYSTAR NEW YEARS EVE RUN
This festive run starts in front of the VyStar Veterans Arena, makes its way Downtown via Bay Street, passes by the rubble of the Jacksonville Landing, and wraps up back in the Sports Complex. Post-run celebration and awards ceremony are held at Intuition Ale Works. 2-4 p.m. Tuesday, Dec. 31, VyStar Veterans Arena, 300 A. Philip Randolph Blvd., Sports Complex, 1stplacesports.com, $40/$45.
TUE
31
Must Have Base Access
SPINZ INTO 2020
NEW YEARS EVE BOWLING PARTY
NYE event includes Xtreme bowling and shoes, buffet, champagne toast, party favors, live DJ, photo booth and more. Enter for a chance to win a cruise. 10 p.m. Tuesday, Dec. 31, Pinz Bowling Center, 244 Baltimore St., Mayport, 270-5377, $20/$25. 8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 25-31, 2019
12/4/19
PICKS
SARAH McLAUGHLIN | WELLNESS@FOLIOWEEKLY.COM
THU
26 STRENGTH IN SHARING FAMILY SUPPORT GROUP
The NAMI Jacksonville Family Support Group-Memorial meets the second and fourth Thursdays of every month, providing support for family members, caregivers and loved ones of those living with mental illness. 7-8:30 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 26, Memorial Hospital, 3625 University Blvd., Southside, namijacksonvillefl.org, free.
SUN
29 EXPLORE YOUR MIND MEDITATION WITH LYNN
Lynn Pritchard’s meditation technique combines breathing and visualization and includes guided sessions. 12:30-3:30 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 29, Spiritual Uplifts, 2186 Park Ave., Ste. 102, Orange Park, spritualuplifts.com, $25.
SUN
29 GET CLEAR FOR THE NEW YEAR
CLARIFY PURPOSE, CREATE PATH: A NEW YEAR’S WORKSHOP
Ombrella’s Michel Le Gribble-Dates leads a writing workshop designed to help participants discover where they are, what their intentions are for the New Year and how to achieve them. 2-4 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 29, Cultivate, 2766 Park St., Riverside, cultivatejax.com, $24. DECEMBER 25-31, 2019 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9
EHRON OSTENDORF | MAIL@FOLIOWEEKLY.COM
TUE
31 LET THERE BE LIGHT DOWNTOWN FIREWORKS
What better way to celebrate than with fireworks? The City of Jacksonville illuminates the St. Johns River as we ring in the New Year. Don’t forget to grab a chair and claim your waterfront real estate early to get a good view of the show. Midnight, Tuesday, Dec. 31, Southbank, specialevents.coj.net, free.
TUE
31 PARTY LIKE A GATSBY ROARING ‘20S PARTY
Culhane’s Irish Pub–Southside kicks off the new Roaring 2020s with an Art Deco-themed NYE shindig, complete with 1920s-inspired cocktails and a Great Gatsby costume contest. Best of all, entry is free. 9 p.m. Tuesday, Dec. 31, Culhane’s Irish Pub, 9720 Deer Lake Ct., Southside, culhanesirishpub.com, free.
TUE
31 BOHEMIAN VIBE
NYE AT DOG ROSE BREWING CO.
For a relaxing night with more low-key entertainment, this St. Augustine “it” spot boasts a casual atmosphere and live entertainment by both country-soul-rock ‘n’ roll singer Chelsea Lovitt and Atlanta-based hippie troubadour Reverend Hylton. 8 p.m. Tuesday, Dec. 31, Dog Rose Brewing Co., 77 Bridge St., St. Augustine, dogrosebrewing.com, free. 10 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 25-31, 2019
DECEMBER 25-31, 2019 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11
FOLIO: FEATURE
PERSON OF
THE YEAR Matt Carlucci fights the power
story by GEORGIO VALENTINO photos by JOSH WESSOLOWSKI
12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 25-31, 2019
JACKSONVILLE POLITICS CAN BE AN ENIGMA TO THE OUTSIDER (i.e., me). Census data skews average and, apart from a visible preponderance of pickup trucks, the vibe on the street is generally thoughtful, often even progressive (although that might simply be the company I attract). Yet, for all that, the Republican Party dominates, and one-party rule invariably breeds corruption. Alternatives and accountability have atrophied such that, in 2019, open graft goes unpunished in City Hall. The situation seems to incense the public, but then again, on March 19, that same public stayed at home and allowed a mere 14 percent of Duval’s eligible voters to re-elect Mayor Lenny Curry. You snooze, you lose. If Jacksonville is to grow an institutional conscience, it’ll have to start with the apparatchiks of the ruling party. (I know, I’m skeptical, too!) Luckily there are a few good ones. Folio Weekly’s Person of the Year is one of them, a Jacksonville Republican with a conscience. Meet Matt Carlucci. Of course, many readers already know the 63-year-old Jacksonville City Council member. He’s lately made headlines by opposing the mayor on several high-profile issues: first, Duval County Public Schools’ proposed sales tax referendum and, now, the slow-motion train wreck that is the JEA privatization scheme. On both issues, Curry stands with the money while Carlucci stands with the people. Carlucci has long had a reputation as a watchdog on the city government scene. He first entered the political fray in 1987, and is now six months into his fourth (nonconsecutive) term on the City Council. During those terms, he has served as Council president and finance chair. He also conceived the Jacksonville Ethics Commission in 1992 and has chaired the Florida Commission on Ethics. Carlucci consciously—even reverently—follows in the footsteps of his late father, Joe Carlucci, a Consolidationera crusader against corruption, a Jacksonville City Council member and, later, a state senator.
“My father had no tolerance for anyone who wouldn’t give someone else a fair shake,” Carlucci told Folio Weekly. “He wouldn’t tolerate government that wasn’t honest. He wouldn’t tolerate government that wasn’t in the sunshine—and this was before the Sunshine Law was passed.” For young Matt, Carlucci the Elder was an object lesson in integrity. “He said so much that has stuck with me,” Carlucci said, “but there’s one thing in particular: ‘A politician always looks to the next election; a statesman looks to the next generation.’” Matt Carlucci was 26 when his father died in 1986, while serving his second term as a Florida State Senator. Carlucci the Younger was just about to launch his own political career. (“I was a grown man by then, but I missed him. He never saw me in public office.”) With his role model gone, Carlucci looked to his wife for support and advice. “One of the reasons I am able to serve the public is because of my little Italian pixie and soul mate, Karen Signoretti Carlucci,” he said. “We have been married 42 years. Karen has great instincts and gives me confidence in the things that I do or try to do to make our city better for future generations.” The couple has two sons and three grandchildren “who keep my eye focused on the future.” To return to Carlucci’s early political career, after serving two consecutive terms in City Council, he hoped to follow his father all the way to Tallahassee; instead, he suffered his first political defeat in his bid to become a state senator. “I’ve won and I’ve lost,” he reflected. “And I’ll tell you, every politician ought to lose at least one election. If you’re lucky enough to be elected again, it’ll make you better. Anything that deeply hurts you will—if you allow it—make you a better human being, a better person. It made me more dedicated to my father’s cause when I ran again.” Carlucci rejoined City Council in 1999, then ran for mayor and was again defeated. He handily won back his original council seat—At-Large Group 4—earlier this year. It wasn’t long before he found himself at odds with an emboldened, newly reelected Mayor Curry. Opposition isn’t Carlucci’s natural state, however. In fact, over the years, he has built constructive relationships with several mayors. “Our family has a reputation for locking arms with leaders when we believe they’re right,” he said. “I did a lot of that with John Delaney, John Peyton, Ed Austin and Tommy Hazouri. But we also have a reputation for being independent and doing what we believe is right, even if it means opposing the mayor or other leaders. But it’s never personal; it’s always in a professional way based on the merits of the issue.” Carlucci frames his difference with the city’s executive in philosophical terms: “He and I view public service through a different set of lenses. That’s not meant as
a put down. We’re just different types of people. He has his way; I have my way. I’m a consensus builder. Jacksonville moves best when we move together. Right now a lot of people feel left out. The mayor needs to be more collaborative. He needs to work closer with the council in a can-do way. He hasn’t done that, and it has hurt him.” On the personal level, Carlucci reckons he and the mayor could even be friends. “I think Lenny Curry and I could go on a bass fishing trip and get along very well,” he speculated confidently, “as long as we didn’t talk about politics!” He wasn’t as generous on the subject of the mayor’s chief goon, Brian Hughes, whose truculence Carlucci described as an impediment to cooperation. “I have sat down with Brian Hughes,” Carlucci said in reference to two initiatives he hoped to get off the ground, “and he basically said let’s start with ‘no’ and go from there. That’s no way to build a relationship with a council member.” Hughes did not respond appropriately when asked to comment. The first major issue on which Carlucci opposed the administration was
“
or get into conspiracy theories, but I’ll say this: I have no clue why, when 70 percent of the city wanted a referendum, we couldn’t get it on the ballot.” The next major issue on which Carlucci would align himself with the people against the mayor and the money was the JEA privatization scheme. The idea dates back to Curry’s first term, but it was dropped when it got too hot. Lo! After silver-tongued campaign promises, JEA is once again being jostled to the auction block—and, right or wrong, the consensus is that it’s Lenny Curry’s idea. In any case, it’s the mayor who has the most to gain from a short-term shot of multi-billiondollar liquidity, which could wipe city debt, offset liabilities and generally make his mayoral terms appear profitable as Curry possibly positions himself for higher office. He would also ingratiate himself to the utility’s buyer, who might return the favor in a future campaign season. This is, of course, speculation. Here be some facts. It was the mayor who purged the JEA board and stacked it with unqualified loyalists like disgraced former chief of staff Kerri Stewart and
I think Lenny Curry and I could go on a bass fishing trip and get along very well, as long as we didn’t talk about politics!
Duval County Public Schools’ proposed infrastructure-tax referendum, which the School Board recommended in May and hoped to present to voters in November. DCPS calculated that the halfcent sales tax would generate nearly two billion dollars to ameliorate the physical condition of county schools—among the oldest in Florida. City elites, however, refused to let the proposal come to a public vote. It’s now stalled in court. “Our schools are so important, and we’re so close to being an ‘A’ district,” Carlucci said, “but we have antiquated school buildings. They’re not in the 21st century. That’s why I supported the halfcent sales tax referendum so much. Why can’t we see that investing in schools adds value to our community?” When asked another question—why so many cogs in the city’s political machine, from exalted council members to lowly hack columnists (I knew one, once), were mobilized against the referendum— Carlucci answered, “There were some heavy hitters in the political environment who really wanted newer charter schools to get something out of the deal,” he explained. “I don’t want to second guess
deserves the best CEO. And surround that CEO with highly qualified board members from around the community, then let them do their job. Does JEA have headwinds of change to address? Absolutely. But if you have a CEO who knows how to work through those headwinds, they can make it work without charter and constitutional changes. I called municipal CEOs and asked them all these questions; that’s what they told me. The national trend isn’t privatization, but toward going back to public utilities. Home rule is priceless.” So Carlucci has solutions. Not bad. First, however, someone has to put the brakes on the privatization process—and it won’t be cheap. (Prepare for some rapid-fire mixed metaphors.) You see, caught with his hand in the cookie jar, Curry is now attempting to pass a hot potato to City Council, but the golden goose is a poisoned chalice. Carlucci and his fellow council members will have to navigate a minefield to restore the JEA board to credibility and rescind the invitation to negotiate (ITN). From Zahn’s ridiculously robust severance payment to possible court challenges and penalties if City Council terminates the ITN, the bad actors are determined to get at least some satisfaction at our expense. Even Carlucci’s call for an investigation of conflicts of interest and other ethics violations is fraught. Always diplomatic, he expressed his full confidence in State Attorney Melissa Nelson to pursue such an investigation fairly, but the truth is that Nelson is not without ties to the mayor. (She and Curry shared campaign consultants.) For what it’s worth, I reckon this merits federal attention. This isn’t a simple sweetheart demolition contract or a goodold-boy appointment; with a price tag of around $7 billion, if JEA were to sell under this cloud, it would be a staggering swindle, far above and beyond Jacksonville’s high standing tolerance for corruption. No, it’s not enough for patsies like Zahn to take the fall and ride platinum parachutes to an easy landing. We need to know everything. Thus far, there’s a will—and that’s already something. Now it’s up to officials like Carlucci to find a way. But the devil’s in the details, and the veteran watchdog doesn’t yet know how best to exorcise in this instance. “Everything is fluid right now,” he admitted, only slightly exasperated. JEA will of course be the big drama as we step into 2020. But don’t be surprised if the DCPS referendum eventually extricates itself from its current legal limbo and precipitates a pitched battle between proponents of public education and charter-school lobbyists. (My 2019 New Year’s address anticipated the year’s outburst of sectarian, education-policy violence. Señor Editor knows of what he speaks!) In both cases, all eyes will be on Matt Carlucci, who just might be able to rally a bipartisan consensus around core values like integrity.
”
recently terminated JEA CEO Aaron Zahn. Then it was these hapless appointees who (unsuccessfully) mounted a public disinformation campaign painting one of the city’s prime assets as a liability—of which we taxpaying rubes ought to divest ourselves. You can’t make this stuff up. In any case, everyone saw through it. The dominoes are now falling, and Lenny Curry is scrambling to distance himself from the scheme and save his dreams of higher office. (Good luck.) Carlucci suspects this scheme has been in the works for a long time. “I think there has been the thought of privatizing JEA from the beginning of the mayor’s first term, when he basically cleared out so many well-meaning members of the JEA board,” he observed. “It hurt our community. Now he’s hearing the frustration of the people, and he’s trying to collaborate a bit more with City Council. What I don’t understand is why we’re even doing this in the first place. Here’s the answer to JEA: Appoint the very best actual public utility CEO you can find in a countrywide search, someone steeped in understanding of public utilities and policies. Hire the best CEO. Jacksonville
Subscribe to Folio Weekly’s Newsletter at folioweekly.com/newsletters DECEMBER 25-31, 2019 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 13
ARTS + EVENTS
The Ritz Theatre & Museum kicks off KWANZAA 2019 with a free, non-denominational celebration of Umoja, or unity. It’s a special year, too. The community observes 400 years of resilience and 100 years of cultural bloom in Jacksonville, recognized in the Jazz Age as the “Harlem of the South.” 11 a.m.-8 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 26, Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., LaVilla, ritzjacksonville.com, free.
CLASSICAL & JAZZ
NYE: The Jazz Age Music Director Courtney Lewis leads the Jacksonville Symphony on a journey through Prohibition, The Roarin’ Twenties and more. 9 p.m. Tuesday, Dec. 31, Times-Union Center, 300 Water St., Downtown, jaxsymphony.org, $34-$81. EMANUEL JACKSON The R&B and Jazz artist performs 7:30-10:30 p.m. Friday, Dec. 27, Jazzy’s Restaurant and Lounge, 901 King St., Riverside, facebook.com/Jazzys-Restaurant-andLounge-389937895072526, free.
BOOKS & POETRY
DECEMBER POETRY OPEN MIC Socialize with Ancient City Poets and share your original works with an optional writing prompt: “Poetry Unwrapped.” 3-5 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 29, Corazon Cinema & Café, 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, bodor.org, free. SHOWTIME AT THE CYPHER Cypher Open Mic Poetry and Soul is looking for new talent. Dancers, singers, musicians, magicians and comedians are invited to perform for a chance to win $200 cash and a paid set at an upcoming show. 8-11:30 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 26, Da Real Ting Café, 128 Adams St., Downtown, facebook.com/cypherpoetryduval/, free, 18 and older. STORYTELLER THURSDAYS Sareth Ney hosts this monthly open-mic 5 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 26, Corazon Cinema & Café, 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, corazoncinemaandcafe.com, $5.
COMEDY
COMEDY ZONE Shaun Jones performs at various times Thursday-Saturday, Dec. 26-28, $20 and up; NYE celebration with a dinner & comedy show, 7 p.m.-1 a.m. Tuesday, Dec. 31, $89, The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Southside, comedyzone.com. CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ Zach Bennett hosts 8 p.m. Friday, Dec. 27, Corazon Cinema & Café, 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, corazoncinemaandccafe.com, $5 Flagler students, $10 cash general admission. JIM GAFFIGAN: THE PALE TOURIST Laugh the night away with this three-time nominated comedian, actor, writer and producer. 7 p.m. Monday, Dec. 30, VyStar Veterans Arena, 300 A. Philip Randolph Blvd., Downtown, $33-$57.
FILM
SUNRAY CINEMA Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker continues to show. Uncut Gems plays at various times, Wednesday, Dec. 25, 1028 Park St., Five Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ A Christmas Tale and The Report continue to show. Throwback Thursday showing Waterfront at noon Thursday, Dec. 26, 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com. 14 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 25-31, 2019
ART WALKS, MARKETS
RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET 10 a.m.–3 p.m. Saturdays, 715 Riverside Ave., riversideavondale. org/ram-home, free. ATLANTIC BEACH ARTS MARKET Mixed Media Workshop: Art of Layering 4-6 p.m. Friday, Dec. 27, $65. Cool Mini Masters ages 5-11 9:30 a.m.1:30 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 29, $40 per class, $70 for two classes. Advanced registration required for all classes. 1805 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, atlanticbeachartsmarket.com.
MUSEUMS
BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY PARK The historical exhibition Neptune Beach: A Cool Place to Live runs through March 1, 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, beachesmuseum.org. CUMMER MUSEUM of ARTS & GARDENS Eclectic Ecology: Landscape Perspectives from Ponce de León to Florida Man runs through Tuesday, Dec. 31; Innovation & Imagination: The Global Dialogue in Mid to Late 20th Century Art through Tuesday, Dec. 31; Louis Comfort Tiffany: Treasures from the Driehaus Collection runs through January 5; Edmund Greacen & World War I through February 5, 829 Riverside Ave., Riverside, cummermuseum.org. KARPELES MANUSCRIPT LIBRARY MUSEUM The Bible, an original manuscript exhibit of pages from the Gutenberg Bible and the first edition of the King James Bible, through Saturday, Dec. 28, 101 W. First St., Springfield, karpeles.weebly.com. MANDARIN MUSEUM Open 9 a.m.–4 p.m. Saturdays, 11964 Mandarin Rd., Mandarin, mandarinmuseum.net, free. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE Of Many Ancestors runs through Saturday, Dec. 28; Jay Shoots: Home through January 5; A Moment in Beijing through February 2, 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, mocajacksonville.unf.edu. MUSEUM OF SCIENCE AND HISTORY North Pole Express Day is Friday, Dec. 27. Holiday Trains on display through Tuesday, Dec. 31. Astronaut: Your Journey Begins on Earth runs through January 4, 1025 Museum Cir., Southbank, themosh.org. LIGHTNER MUSEUM Explore the museum after normal business hours as a bonus to the city’s annual Nights of Lights 5-9 p.m. Thursday & Friday, Dec. 26 & 27, 75 King St., St. Augustine, lightnermuseum.org.
GALLERIES
ZORA BORA GALLERY Steve Anderson’s Going Out of Vision displays the artist’s striking, photorealistic paintings of historic St. Augustine through January 5, Zora Bora Gallery, 28 Cuna St., St. Augustine, zora-bora-gallery.business.site, 417-0474. MAIN LIBRARY POP: Perceptions of Poverty
exhibit features seven artists and several modes and mediums, highlighting and focusing on poverty and tackling stereotypes and generalizations. The exhibit runs through January 19, Main Library, 303 Laura St. N., Downtown, jaxpubliclibrary.org, free. THE ART CENTER COOPERATIVE Susan Smith is the featured artist. Works by members on display include oils, acrylics, watercolors, pastels, photography and sculptures. 9501 Arlington Expy., Ste. 430, Regency Square Mall, tacjacksonville.org. THE ART STUDIO & GALLERY All Members Art Show exhibit, featuring affordable art for the holidays, runs through Tuesday, Dec. 31, 370A A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, beachartstudio.org. CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM Open to the public 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Monday-Friday, noon4p.m. Saturday, Flagler College, 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, flagler.edu/crispellert, free. THE CULTURAL CENTER AT PONTE VEDRA BEACH Ellen Diamond’s Chasing Color: A 50 Year Retrospective runs through January 11. 50 Executive Way, Ponte Vedra Beach, ccpvb.org. CUTTER & CUTTER FINE ART GALLERIES Merry Grinchmas on display through January 24, 333 Village Main St., Ponte Vedra Beach, cutterandcutter.com. GRAY 1908 GALLERY Jenna Alexander’s The Flower Map of the United States is on display. 8 a.m.-6 p.m. Monday-Saturday, 73 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine, jenna-alexander.com. THRASHER-HORNE CENTER Off the Beaten Path, an exhibit showcasing five local artists, runs through February 15. 283 College Dr., Orange Park, thcenter.org. BEACHES GO GREEN OCTOPUS GARDEN The massive art structure made from single-use plastic will be lit up and on display through January 1, Seawalk Pavilion, 75 First St. N., Jax Beach, beachesgogreen.org.
EVENTS
LOBSTER NIGHT AT AARDWOLF Indulge at Cousin’s Maine Lobster food truck with lobster rolls and an expanded menu 5-9 p.m. Friday, Dec. 27, Aardwolf Brewery, 1461 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, cousinsmainelobster.com/restaurant/ neptune-beach-fl. VELOUR AT HARRY’S Velour and Flavors of New Orleans perform for a New Year’s Eve celebration 6-10 p.m. Tuesday, Dec. 31, Harry’s Seafood Bar & Grill, 46 Avenida Menendez, St. Augustine, facebook.com/music.velour. YOGA ON THE RIVER Start your morning with yoga on the water 9-10 a.m. Sunday, Dec. 29, River City Brewing Co., 835 Museum Cir., Downtown, facebook.com/Yoga-on-theRiver-103488977710037, $5 donation. THE CLOSET JAX ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY Celebrate the first year of this LGBTQ+ ally with
ARTS + EVENTS live music and performances 8 p.m.-midnight Friday, Dec. 27, The Black Box, 3674 Beach Blvd., Southside, theclosetjax.ticketbud.com, $10-$28. JAGUARS VS. COLTS WATCH PARTY Enjoy the best wings in Jax along with gameday drink specials 1-4 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 29, Culhane’s Irish Pub & Restaurant, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, culhanesirishpub.com, free.
HOLIDAY EVENTS
UMOJA (UNITY) A non-denominational celebration of Kwanzaa 11 a.m.-8 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 26, Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., LaVilla, ritzjacksonville.com, free. A MAGICAL CHANUKAH Celebrate the last night of Chanukah with a menorah lighting, latkes and a magic show. 6 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 29, Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, chabadbeaches.com, free. NYE AT DOGROSE BREWERY Chelsea Lovitt & Boys perform with Reverend Hylton. 8 p.m.-midnight Tuesday, Dec. 31, Dog Rose Brewing Co., 77 Bridge St., St. Augustine, dogrosebrewing.com, free. MOCA NYE FUNDRAISER PARTY Ring in the new year with an open bar, delicious bites, live music, and surprise art performances. Dress is your best creative glam. Must be 21 or older. 9 p.m.-1 a.m. Tuesday, Dec. 31, MOCA Jacksonville, 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, mocajacksonville.unf. edu, $75 members; $90 young professionals, UNF employees & artists; $100 general admission. GREAT GATSBY THEMED NYE PARTY DJ Stephanie leads this ‘20s themed dance party and costume contest. 9:30 p.m.-1:30 a.m. Tuesday, Dec. 31, Culhane’s Irish Pub, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, culhanesirishpub.com, free. A WICKED NYE PARTY Live music from Wild Oaks Band and Robby and Felix and special holiday beer releases to ring in the new year. 6 p.m.-1 a.m. Tuesday, Dec. 31, Wicked Barley
Brewing Co., 4100 Baymeadows Rd., Southside, wickedbarley.com, free. RCBC ROARING ‘20S NYE PARTY Celebrate the turn of the decade with a costume contest, cash prizes and a free champagne toast at midnight. 9 p.m.-1:30 a.m. Tuesday, Dec. 31, River City Brewing Co., 835 Museum Cir., Southbank, eventbrite.com, 398-2299 for VIP, $65-$75, 21 and older. NYE ON THE ROOFTOP Music from DJ Christian Mendez, photo ops, and good eats. Must be 21 or older. 9 p.m.-midnight Tuesday, Dec. 31, Black Sheep, 1534 Oak St., Five Points, 904tix.com, $50-$75. NYE BASH Make your way to King Street for a dance party into the new year with DJ Wes Reed. 8 p.m.-2:30 a.m. Tuesday, Dec. 31, The LOFT & Rogue, 925 & 927 King St., Riverside, eventbrite.com, $15. GEEK-EASY NYE PARTY Dress to impress in ‘20s attire for a chance to win a free bar tab 10 p.m.-2 a.m. Tuesday, Dec. 31, Rec Room, 1049 Park St., Five Points, facebook.com/recroomjax, free. OUR HOUSE NYE: 2020 VISION STRATA Clothing hosts this 21 and older NYE bash with complimentary cocktails, art installations and music. 8 p.m.-2 a.m. Tuesday, Dec. 31, STRATA Clothing, 240 Talleyrand Ave., Urban Core, eventbrite.com, $65 includes open bar, $75 includes open bar & bus. 57 HEAVEN’S NYE PARTY Ring in the new year by rocking through the decades. Dress for the decade you love the most! 7 p.m.-2 a.m. Tuesday, Dec. 31, 57 Heaven, 1975 Wells Rd., Orange Park, facebook. com/57heavenOP, $25-$30. HEMMING PARK’S TOTALLY LIT HANUKKAH PARTY Celebrate Hanukkah with a menorah lighting ceremony, live music, crafts, kosher food and dreidel games. 3-7 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 29, Hemming Park, 135 W. Monroe St., Downtown, hemmingpark.org, free.
Arlington’s Harajuku Tattoo is fast becoming a hub of underground culture. Now the genre-bending ink parlor hosts its first artist reception. The event features the work of CHRISTINA KITTLE, a Jacksonvillebased painter who has been exploring surreal emotional states for a full decade. Sunday, Dec. 29, Harajuku Tattoo, 9951 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 312, Arlington, instagram.com/HarajukuTattoo, free. DECEMBER 25-31, 2019 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15
CONCERTS
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Jacksonville’s MANDALLA fuses salsa and reggaeton with Top 40 pop. This weekend, the caliente quartet presides over Latin Night in San Agustín. 7 p.m. Friday, Dec. 27, Casa Maya, 22 Hypolita St., St. Augustine, free.
LIVE MUSIC VENUES
AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA
SALTY PELICAN, 12 N. Front St. Jimmy Beats Dec. 27. Amy Vickery Dec. 28. Travis Harden Dec. 29. Robert Koerner Dec. 31 SJ BREWING COMPANY 463646 S.R. 200, Yulee. Jimmy Beats Dec. 28 THE SURF, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave. Tad Jennings Dec. 27. Sam McDonald Dec. 28
THE BEACHES (All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted)
BLUE JAY LISTENING ROOM, 2457B 3rd St S. Scott Sharrard Dec. 27. Kyle Keller, Bradford Loomis Dec. 28. Corey Kilgannon Dec. 29 COOP 303, 303 Atlantic Blvd., AB. Cyrus Quaranta Dec. 28 FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd, Neptune Beach 5 O’Clock Shadow Dec. 27-28 GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd. The Pinedas Dec. 27. Mandalla, Caribe Groove, The Pinedas Dec. 28
DOWNTOWN
1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N. Melody Trucks Band, The Firewater Tent Revival, Bonnie Blue Dec. 26. New Years Eve 2019: Custard Pie, Vlad The Inhaler, Charlie Hustle, Dialectable Beats, Booty Boo, KT Slawson, Romeo, Mishin Dec. 31 THE JUSTICE PUB, 315 E. Bay St. Mikie Mayo, Computer Food, Soggy Jordans, Kenji, Joke Puttick Dec. 26 MYTH NIGHTCLUB, 333 E. Bay St. Drewlface, Knockturnal, Sorce, DJ Q45, MFADELZ, Boogie T Dec. 27. Xander, Sorce, Gaspo, Opratr, Viral Dec. 28. Boogie Mane, Rocks N Blunts, Jon Kinesis, Alberto Diaz, Mike Shea Dec. 31 VYSTAR VETERANS MEMORIAL ARENA, 300 A Philip Randolph Blvd. New Years Eve Weekend Jam: Anthony Hamilton K. Michelle, Avant Dec. 28 THE FLORIDA THEATRE, 128 E Forsyth St. Blackberry Smoke, Bishop Gunn Dec. 30. JJ Grey & Mofro, The Commonheart Dec. 31
FLEMING ISLAND, GREEN COVE
BOONDOCKS, 2808 Henley Rd. Scott Elley Dec. 16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 25-31, 2019
26. David Burkhalter, Comfort Zone Dec. 27. Clint Aglin, Tiffany Sweet & Blackwater Dec. 28. Dixie Highway Dec. 31 DEE’S MUSIC BAR & GRILL, 2141 Lach Rane Blvd. Live Music Every Thursday WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220. Blistur Dec. 27-28
INTRACOASTAL, ARLINGTON
JERRY’S SPORTS GRILLE, 13170 Atlantic Blvd. Retro Kats Dec. 27 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3105 Beach Blvd. Mike Shackelford & Dean Spry Dec. 27. Red Afternoon Reunion Dec. 28
MANDARIN
ENZA’S, 10601 San Jose Blvd. Brian Iannucci Every Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Carl Grant Every Thursday, Friday, Saturday IGGY’S, 104 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 101. Litt Family Band, Robbie Litt Dec. 26. Ginger Beard Man Dec. 27. Last 2 Leave Dec. 28. Stephen Quinn Dec. 29
RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE
NIGHTHAWKS, 2952 Roosevelt Blvd. Psykotribe, M99, Higher Ground Dec. 27 RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St. Welcome to Wichita, Field Notes, The Portrait Dec. 27
ST. AUGUSTINE
ARNOLD’S, 3912 N. Ponce de Leon Blvd. The Madd Hatters Dec. 28. Blistur Dec. 29. The Remains Dec. 31 CAFÉ ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd. Medicine Springs, Jordan Tice, Cory & Tyler Walker Dec. 26. Victor Wainwright & The Train Dec. 29 PROHIBITION KITCHEN, 119 St George St. Callie Leigh, Rockin Jake Dec. 26. Miranda Madison Music, Be Easy Dec. 27. Linda Cole & The Raisin Cake Orchestra, Ramona Dec. 28. Willow Wacks Dec. 30. Bitter Sweet Dec. 31 DOG ROSE BREWING, 77 Bridge St. Chelsea Lovitt & The Boys, Reverend Hilton Dec. 31 SARBEZ, 11 Anastasia Blvd. Jivewire Dec. 27
DONNA Hall ELVIS CELINE MALCO Room SELWY THE RI BUCKY GRACE RISING Conce JOE M Mudvil QUEEN The Flo ROBER REMEM ELTON Horne TUSK:
CONCERTS SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK
JACK RABBITS, 15280 Hendricks Ave. A Very Beatles Christmas, RickoLus, Leroy Everitt Copeland Jr. Dec. 25. Tracy Shedd, The Kate Rays Dec. 26. The Summer Obsession Dec. 27. Porcelain Black, Neon Bombshell Dec. 28. Chris DeMakes, JT Turret. Peter Michael, The Triffids Dec. 29. Chad Jasmine, The Life Changing Drugs, Crew Dec. 30
SOUTHSIDE, BAYMEADOWS
WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd. 7 Street Band Dec. 27. Paul Lundgren Dec. 28. Homegrown Dec. 29. Sun Jammer Band Dec. 31
SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE
PALMS FISH CAMP, 6359 Heckscher Dr. Taylor Shami Dec. 26. Billy Bowers Dec. 27. Patrick Rose Dec. 28. Eric Alabiso, Ryan Campbell Dec. 29
UPCOMING CONCERTS
DONNA THE BUFFALO Jan. 4, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ELVIS BIRTHDAY BASH Jan. 8, The Florida Theatre CELINE DION Jan. 8, VyStar Veterans Arena MALCOLM HOLCOMBE Jan. 9, Mudville Music Room SELWYN BIRCHWOOD Jan. 10, Café Eleven THE RIGHTEOUS BROTHERS: BILL MEDLEY & BUCKY HEARD Jan. 16, The Florida Theatre GRACE POTTER Jan. 15, The Florida Theatre RISING APPALACHIA Jan. 16, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall JOE MULLINS & THE RADIO RAMBLERS Jan. 17, Mudville Music Room QUEENSRŸCHE, JOHN 5, EVE TO ADAM Jan. 19, The Florida Theatre ROBERT CRAY Jan. 19, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall REMEMBER WHEN ROCK WAS YOUNG: THE ELTON JOHN TRIBUTE Jan. 19, ThrasherHorne Center TUSK: FLEETWOOD MAC TRIBUTE Jan 20-21, The
Alhambra Theatre & Dining GAELIC STORM Jan. 21, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SOUTHERN CULTURE ON THE SKIDS, THE VALLEY GHOULS Jan. 23, 1904 Music Hall VERLON THOMPSON & JIM LAUDERDALE Jan. 24, Mudville Music Room TODD SNIDER Jan. 25, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall LUCINDA WILLIAMS & HER BAND BUICK 6 Jan. 26, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BLACK FLAG, THE LINECUTTERS Jan. 26, 1904 Music Hall CITIZEN COPE Jan. 27, Vedra Concert Hall THE TAJ MAHAL QUARTET Jan. 29, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall RODNEY CROWELL Jan. 30, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE GLORIOUS SONS, DES ROCS Jan. 31, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SIDELINE Feb. 8, Mudville Music Room JOHN FOGERTY Feb. 23, The Amp NEIL DIAMOND: SWEET CAROLINE TRIBUTE Feb. 24-25, The Alhambra Theatre & Dining RICHARD SMITH March 5, Mudville Music Room THE OUTLAWS March 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE MCCARTNEY YEARS March 9, The Alhambra Theatre & Dining THE FRED EAGLESMITH SHOW STARRING TIF GINN March 12, Mudville Music Room STEVE HACKETT March 20, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall AGAINST ME March 25, The Amp JASON ISBELL & THE 400 UNIT, OLD CROW MEDICINE SHOW March 27, The Amp THE EVERLY BROTHERS EXPERIENCE March 3031, The Alhambra Theatre & Dining VANILLA ICE & SIR MIX A LOT April 7, Clay County Fair ZOSO: THE ULTIMATE LED ZEPPELIN EXPERIENCE April 30, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall LEO KOTTKE April 10, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall REBELUTION, STEEL PULSE June 21, The Amp
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Brie Akins and Jason Wright are WELCOME TO WICHITA, and they’re playing a post-holiday rock show with fellow Jacksonville groups, Field Notes and The Portrait. 10 p.m. Friday, Dec. 27, Rain Dogs, 1045 Park St., Five Points, facebook.com/raindogsjax, $5. DECEMBER 25-31, 2019 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17
FOLIO PETS
LOCAL PET EVENTS & ADOPTABLES FELINE FRENZY The Jax Humane Society’s bi-weekly spayand-neuter drive gets community cats fixed for free. The goal for each session is 100. All cats must be brought in humane traps (one cat per trap), not carriers. 7 a.m. Sunday, Dec. 29, Jacksonville Humane Society, 8464 Beach Blvd., Southside, jaxhumane.org.
ADOPTABLES
CANDY CANE SCARLETT
DENNY
PETS LIKE ME
DENNY & SCARLETT
THESE WEST COAST POODLES HAVE LANDED IN NORTHEAST FLORIDA MOVING SOMEWHERE NEW VIA PLANE IS an exciting adventure. Just ask Denny and Scarlett! These Beverly Hills-born poodles ditched the road and took to the open air to relocate across the country with their family. I caught up with the pair to talk about traveling on a one-way ticket and why it’s important to prepare your pets before embarking on a big move. Davi: How did you and your family travel to your new home? Denny: We’re quite a crew! My sister Scarlett and I have four cat siblings, plus four humans, so Dad decided we would charter a plane to take all of us on our new adventure. How was your flight? I sat in a seat next to the window and enjoyed the view for the majority of the time. Scarlett walked up and down the aisle as if she was training to be a flight attendant. She was very good, and only took a quick sniff at the packed lunches. Did you experience travel sickness? No. We were already well-traveled dogs, so the flight wasn’t too much trouble. Did you get a wellness exam before moving? We had a checkup with our veterinarian, so we had our papers showing we were up to date on all of our shots. Our parents got us new nametags with old and new addresses and their phone numbers. How often did you take potty breaks? We didn’t have potty breaks, but we had lots of pee pads, puppy wipes and plastic bags—just in case! What was your initial reaction when you entered your new home? I was overwhelmed with unfamiliar smells. We had new beds and toys waiting for us, but we brought along some old ones, too. It was nice to have the comfort of a familiar scent.
18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 25-31, 2019
What do you like most about your new home?
We have a dock over a marsh, which I fell into while reaching back to scratch my butt. It was muddy, and the water was cold, but it was really fun. I didn’t realize a marsh isn’t the same as a lawn!
“Take a trip down Candy Cane Lane with me. It’s the cutest thing I swear you’ll ever see!” Would you believe me if I told you Sia actually wrote this song about me? Well, it’s true! And I’m more than just a purr-ty face - I’m just as sweet as my name! Stop by JHS at 8464 Beach Blvd. and bring me home for the holidays.
What do you miss most about your old home?
I miss our nice walks in California with all its good smells, but Mom said we’d find new good smells in Florida.
What was the most stressful part of moving? Watching all the furniture disappear. We didn’t have anything left to sit on! We’re used to sitting on a couch with our parents and, suddenly, no couch! When the suitcases came out, we knew we were in trouble. We knew our parents were leaving, but this time they took us with them, so we were happy about that.
PUPS ON THE PATIO YAPPY HOUR One waterfront bar is rolling out the red carpet for pet parents and their fur babies. Located inside the Guy Harvey Resort, Santiago’s is offering $1 off drinks, $3 doggie “paw’ke” bowls and free dog biscuits during this weekly event. 4-7 p.m. Monday, Dec. 30, Santiago’s Florida Kitchen & Craft Bar, 860 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Aug. Beach, santiagosfloridakitchen.com.
ADOPTABLES
TUCKER
What advice would you give to pets that are preparing for a long-distance move with their family? For anyone relocating to a new place, I’d say stay close to your humans, don’t run off (hopefully you’ve been microchipped), and it’ll be okay. Be on your best behavior, and enjoy the journey! Moving to a new state, especially somewhere thousands of miles away, can be exhilarating. It’s exciting and ripe with opportunity. However, it’s important to remember that what you find exciting can be scary and nervewracking for your pets. But if you plan ahead, take them to the vet, do your research, and bring along comfort items, they can enjoy the trip, the new home and the new surroundings just as much as their humans. Davi the Dachshund mail@folioweekly.com Subscribe to Folio Weekly Magazine’s Pets Newsletter at folioweekly.com/newsletters
Fun fact: if you look up “man’s best friend” in the dictionary, you’ll find a picture of me! I’m a social, mellow dude who loves hanging out with people of all ages and chilling with my dog pals. I also enjoy going on walks, car rides, and other adventures! Come find me in my suite at the JHS Adoption Center - I can’t wait to cuddle with you on the couch this winter.
THE CAFFEINATED CAT The recently opened Jax Beach cat cafe has installed new, feline-oriented artwork created by students at Duncan U. Fletcher High School. Not only can visitors enjoy the paintings and the company, but they can also adopt any furry friends they make over their cup of coffee or glass of wine. 331 First Ave N., Jax Beach, facebook.com/ thecaffeinatedcatjax.
DALE RATERMANN’s Folio Weekly Crossword presented by
Serving Excellence Since 1928 Member American Gem Society
San Marco 2044 San Marco Blvd. 398-9741
Avondale 3617 St. Johns Ave. 388-5406
Ponte Vedra
THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA
330 A1A North 280-1202
Voted Best Jeweler in FW’s Best of Jax readers’ poll!
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NEWS OF THE WEIRD UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT WJAR reported that an unnamed substitute teacher was fired on Dec. 16 for smoking marijuana in a classroom at North Attleborough High School in North Attleborough, Massachusetts. Peter Haviland, principal at the school, said students reported the incident and the teacher was removed from the school premises. Haviland also said the teacher not only used the drug, but led a discussion in class about marijuana. Campuses in the district are drug-free. Well, they were. UPDATE Last year during the holiday season, former NASA engineer Mark Rober of Santa Clarita, California, created an exploding glitter-bomb package in response to having a package stolen from his front porch. This year, Rober has a new and improved version: When it is touched, the BBC reported on Dec. 17, the box explodes in glitter and emits an unpleasant odor along with a soundtrack of police chatter. As a coup de grace, it also takes a video of the thief and uploads it to the cloud. One of the sponsors for Rober’s project is Home Alone actor Macaulay Culkin. Rober calls it a labor of love: “I have literally spent the last 10 months designing, building and testing a new and improved design for 2019,” he said. FAMILY VALUES It may not be the oldest fruitcake still (mostly) uneaten, but it could be the most beloved. The Detroit News reported that the Ford family of Tecumseh, Michigan, has been cherishing Fidelia Ford’s fruitcake since 1878—more than five generations. Julie Ruttinger, great-greatgranddaughter to Fidelia, inherited the confection from her father, Morgan Ford, who kept it in an antique glass compote dish in his china cabinet until his death in 2013. It doesn’t much look, or smell, like a fruitcake anymore (“Smells like old people,” Morgan once said), but Ruttinger is determined to keep Fidelia’s legacy alive. Each year, Fidelia made a cake that was meant to age until the next Christmas season. But in 1878, she died before her cake could be enjoyed. When Morgan was buried, the family tucked a piece of the cake into his jacket pocket. “He took care of it to the day he left the Earth,” Ruttinger said. “We knew it meant a lot to him.” NO GOOD DEED Virginia Saavedra, 37, ran to a home in Sophia, North Carolina, on Dec. 11, telling the resident she
had just escaped being kidnapped by a stranger. When the man let her sit in his truck to warm up while he called 911, Saavedra allegedly stole the truck, according to the Randolph County Sheriff ’s Office. Officers responding to the 911 call spotted the truck and engaged in a 26-mile high-speed chase before trapping the truck. The Associated Press reported Saavedra then rammed a patrol car before trying to flee on foot. She was eventually charged with more than a dozen crimes, including felony assault with a deadly weapon on a government official. BRIGHT IDEA Around 7:30 a.m. on Dec. 18, an unnamed 17-year-old girl jumped a fence at Fresno Yosemite International Airport in Fresno, California, and climbed into the cockpit of a private airplane parked there. She put the pilot’s headset on and was able to start one of the engines of the small plane, but instead of flying away, she steered the plane into a chain-link fence, causing substantial damage to the aircraft, the Fresno Bee reported. Airport officials said she appeared disoriented when officers reached the plane, but no others were endangered in the incident. She was booked into juvenile hall on charges of theft of an aircraft. ONLY THE BEST PEOPLE A sharp-eyed Twitter user spotted an unexpected country on the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s Agricultural Tariff Tracker list: Wakanda. The fictional country from Marvel’s Black Panther film made the list of free trade agreement partners. USDA spokesperson Mike Illenberg told NBC News on Dec. 18 the agency had used Wakanda to test the tracking system and had forgotten to remove it from the list. “The Wakanda information should have been removed after testing and has now been taken down.” OOPS A driver in Halifax, West Yorkshire, England, caused an “enormous bang,” according to witnesses, on Dec. 14 when he lighted a cigarette in his closed car after spraying air freshener. Nearby buildings shook from the impact, and the car’s windshield was blown out, along with windows of nearby businesses, the Manchester Evening News reported. The driver sustained only minor injuries. West Yorkshire Police said the situation could have been worse and implored people to open their windows when using aerosol cans and open flames. weirdnewstips@amuniversal.com
FREEWILL ASTROLOGY
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Nazi Germany invaded and occupied Denmark during World War II. In 1943, Hitler ordered all Danish Jews to be arrested, but the Danish resistance movement leapt into action and smuggled virtually all of them to safety via fishing boats bound for Sweden. As a result, more than 8,000 Danish Jews survived the Holocaust. You may not have the opportunity to do anything quite as heroic in 2020. But I expect you will have chances to express a high order of practical idealism that could be among your noblest and most valiant efforts ever. Draw inspiration from the Danish resistance.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): When she was 31, Charlotte Brontë finished writing her novel Jane Eyre. Guessing it would have a better chance of getting published if its author was thought to be a man, she adopted the masculine pen name of Currer Bell. It quickly became a commercial success. I propose that we make Brontë one of your role models for 2020. May she inspire you to be audacious in expressing yourself and confident in seeking the help you need to reach your goals. May she embolden you, too, to use ingenious stratagems to support your righteous cause. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “There are years that ask questions and years that answer,” wrote Zora Neale Hurston. According to my astrological analysis, 2020 is likely to be one of those years that asks questions, while 2021 will be a time when you’ll get rich and meaningful answers to the queries you’ll pose in 2020. To ensure that this plan works out for your maximum benefit, formulate provocative questions. At first, it’s fine if you generate too many. As the year progresses, you can whittle them down to the most ultimate and important questions. Get started! CANCER (June 21-July 22): “There are years that ask questions and years that answer,” wrote Zora Neale Hurston. According to my astrological analysis, 2020 is likely to be one of those years that asks questions, while 2021 will be a time when you’ll get rich and meaningful answers to the queries you’ll pose in 2020. To ensure that this plan works out for your maximum benefit, formulate provocative questions. At first, it’s fine if you generate too many. As the year progresses, you can whittle them down to the most ultimate and important questions. Get started!
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The Roman Emperor Vespasian supervised the restoration of the Temple of Peace, the Temple of Claudius and the Theater of Marcellus. He also built a huge statue of Apollo and the Colosseum. Vespasian also created a less majestic but quite practical wonder: Rome’s first public urinals. In accordance with astrological omens, I invite you to be stimulated by his example in 2020. Be your usual magnificent self as you generate both inspiring beauty and earthy, pragmatic improvements.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): When Mary Shelley was 18 years old, she had a vision about a mad chemist who created a weird creature out of non-living matter. She set about to write a book based on her mirage. At age 20, she published Frankenstein. Make Shelley one of your role models for 2020. You, too, will have the power to transform a challenging event or influence into an important asset. You’ll be able to generate or attract a new source of energy by responding creatively to experiences that initially provoke anxiety.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Mystic
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poet Rumi (1207–1273) wrote that he searched for holy sustenance and divine inspiration in temples, churches and mosques
but couldn’t find them there. His disappointment led him on an inner quest. He ultimately found holy sustenance and divine inspiration in his own heart. You’ll have similar experiences in 2020. Not on every occasion, but much of the time, you will discover the treasure you need and long for not in the outside world but rather in your own depths.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Among his many accomplishments, rapper Drake is an inventive rhymer. In his song “Diplomatic Immunity,” he rhymes “sacred temple” with “stencil.” Brilliant! Other rhymes: “statistics” with “ballistics”; “Treaty of Versailles” with “no cease and desist in I”; and—my favorite—”Al Jazeera” with “Shakira.” According to my analysis of the astrological omens in 2020, you will have Drakestyle skill at mixing and blending seemingly disparate elements. I bet you’ll also be good at connecting influences that belong together but have never been able to combine before. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Rainer Maria Rilke embodied a trait that many astrology textbooks suggest is common to the Sagittarian tribe: wanderlust. He was born in Prague but traveled widely throughout Europe and Russia. If there were a Guinness World Records’ category for “Time Spent as a Houseguest,” Rilke might hold it. There was a four-year period when he lived at 50 different addresses. I’m going to be bold here and hypothesize that 2020 will not be one of those years when you would benefit from being like Rilke. In fact, I hope you’ll seek out more stability and security than usual.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): 15th-century Italian metalworker Lorenzo Ghiberti worked for 28 years to turn the Doors of the Florence Baptistry into a massive work of art. He used bronze to create numerous scenes from the Bible. His fellow artist Michelangelo was so impressed that he said Ghiberti’s doors could have served as “The Gates of Paradise.” Ghiberti is your inspiration in 2020. You’ll be capable of beginning a masterwork that could take quite some time to complete and serve as your very own “gate to paradise”: an engaging project and delightful accomplishment that will make you feel your life is eminently meaningful and worthwhile.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You’re wise to cultivate a degree of skepticism and even contrariness. Like all of us, your abilities to say “no” to detrimental influences and to criticize bad things are key to your mental health. On the other hand, it’s a smart idea to keep checking yourself for irrelevant, gratuitous skepticism and contrariness. You have a sacred duty to maintain just the amount you need, but no more—even as you foster a vigorous reservoir of receptivity, optimism, and generosity. 2020 will be an excellent time to make this one of your cornerstone habits.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Dante Alighieri finished writing The Divine Comedy in 1320. Today it’s considered one of the supreme literary accomplishments in the Italian language and a classic of world literature. But no one ever read the entire work in the English language until 1802, when it was translated for the first time. Let’s invoke this as a metaphor for your life in the coming months. According to my visions, a resource or influence that has previously been inaccessible to you will finally arrive in a form you can understand and use. Some wisdom that has been untranslatable or unreadable will at last be available.
Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com
FOLIO WEED
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RECENT PRESIDENTS HAVE BEEN ALL TOO TIMID RE: WEED POLICY
BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS, THERE will be just a few days left in this year. Overall, 2019 has been a great year for cannabis advocates throughout the country, including here in Florida, where the buildup continues to (hopefully) get it fully legalized via the November ballot. But that will be, if anything, a mere appetizer. The main course will be the presidential election. Don’t ask me how many candidates there are, or which one I prefer; those are both questions to which I have no answer. Decriminalization issues have not been addressed much in the debates, but the candidates’ positions are a matter of public record. The establishment consensus has shifted dramatically since Bill Clinton’s campaign was nearly derailed by allegations of past pot smoking, leading to the instant classic line, “I didn’t inhale.” Back then, even the most liberal of Democrats toed the line on the Drug War, and both parties were marching forward, in lock step, hand-in-hand down the primrose path of mass incarceration. Clinton’s successor, the now largely forgotten George W. Bush, was a notorious party guy for his first 40 years. Then he embraced the straightedge lifestyle with an evangelical zeal that even Ian MacKaye might appreciate. It was the first time a known pot smoker held the presidency, but the man was repentant, and policy didn’t change. In fact, Dubya’s attorney general, the hilarious John Ashcroft, won a Supreme Court case that voided all the medical marijuana laws passed by states in the 1990s. It would be a decade or so before those states were able to do it again. Next was Barack Obama, whose own exploits as a member of the Choom Gang
were already well known before he ran for office. He said for years that marijuana should be decriminalized, but once in office, it was never mentioned again. Individual states did, however, begin the process of liberalizing their laws under his watch. Donald Trump claims to have never taken a drink or tried any drugs, ever, which is remarkable, given all the time he spent in places like Studio 54. It is ironic that Trump, of all people, would be the president who reigned during this era of widespread advancement of the pro-pot agenda. His first AG, Jeff Sessions, was a hardened drug warrior, but his ineptitude caused him to be jettisoned before any serious damage could be done. In his younger days, Trump was more of a libertarian who had no issue with gay rights, abortion rights or people smoking pot, and while he has flipped considerably on those first two issues, his stance on cannabis seems to remain essentially the same. Under his watch, the feds have mostly left the states alone, and he has said on at least one occasion that he would strongly consider signing a decriminalization bill if it made it to his desk. A cynic would say that he only said that because he knows it will never get that far, unless Democrats can take control of the Senate next year. Still, in an era of bitter historical ironies, one of the biggest is that Trump, who stands to the right of Spanish Grand Inquisitor Tomás de Torquemada on most issues, is actually the most liberal president in American history when it comes to drug policy. Shelton Hull mail@folioweekly.com Subscribe to the Folio Weed Newsletter at folioweekly.com/newsletters
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