CHEV Volume 1 Be You:
04
ChevOScopes
06
Dillinger Dolls Speak Out
Be Efficient 07
Woman On The Go: Made Up in Under 10 Minutes
Be Fabulous
Cover Stories 05 17 21
All Hail Michelle Obama’s Fashion Awesomeness Forgiveness: A True Story of Grace Love Thy Neighbor: Is Someone You Know Suicidal?
Lindz From Near Death To Successful & Fabulous
12
08
Doris’ Picks
08
Live From The Red Carpet
Be Trendy 09
Tips & Trends
Be Beautiful 10
The RED Edition
Be Healthy 11
Love Your Heart
Cover Photo Credit Photographer: Soopaman Badger Hair Stylist: De’Von Buie MUA: Carmen Marie
Heard Read on Facebook
Chev Magazine is a refreshing publication with fun, upbeat,
“Relieving myself of all negative aspects of my life, & I won’t wait for 2013 to make it happen. As it comes my way, I immediately combat it…Know who deserves to know you & make no apologies for being choosey” -Lindz Dillinger
encouraging, positive articles and features to help the ordinary woman do/be/look/feel extraordinary.
Credits Editor Editor--In In--Chief Rachelle Chevrin
Final Copy Editor/Proofreader “If your intentions are good NEVER let someone questioning them make you second guess yourself!” -Fab First Lady Niki “I could never be one of those “at least he’s coming home to me” chicks. It will leave you the victim of all kinds of slackness. I am respectful at all times, so I demand the same in return.” -Tacha Trendz “Don’t just pray when things fall apart, pray everyday because everyday is a blessing.” -’Judy Ladiinblue Murcia
This Month’s Poll Did you make any resolutions for 2013?
16%
84%
Iman Ford
Publisher Ladychelle Enterprises
Creative Consultant Michael Forbes
Writers Michael Forbes Doris Torres Rachelle Chevrin
Beauty/Fashion Specialist Doris Torres Torres--Doris T. Artistry
Big thanks to Doris Torres for holding down Chevmag.com and patiently waiting on me while I gathered my vision for this publication. And bigger thanks to my right hand man Michael Forbes. What shall I ever do without you? –Rachelle
ChevOScopes Combining our favorite inspirational quotes with your Zodiac. Disclaimer: Quotes are randomly picked. Chev makes no claim of any psychic powers.
Aquarius-"The Aquarius only limits to the possibilities in your life tomorrow are the buts you use today." —Les Brown Pisces-"Your Pisces vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens." — Carl Jung AriesAries "Every choice before you represents the universe inviting Rachelle Chevrin, Publisher of CHEV Magazine, you to remember who you are and what you want." —Alan Cohen has signed up for The Relay For Life Cancer Taurus -"The pen that writes your life story must be held in your Walk on May 13th, 2013 in Marion Oaks, FL. own hand." —Irene C. Kassorla The money raised through Relay For Life events support the American Cancer Society’s lifesaving work. Hope Lodge facilities for example, which offer cancer patients a free place to stay, comfort, and support when they have to travel far from home for treatment. Too many people, including possibly someone you or I know, will be diagnosed with cancer this year. A Relay For Life event is our opportunity to inspire hope by raising funds and awareness to help those facing the disease.
Gemini -"Out of clutter, find simplicity. From discord, find harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." —Albert Einstein Cancer -"Our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become." —Barbara Geraci LeoLeo "If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. That is the lesson, and that lesson alone will save you a lot of grief." —Oprah Winfrey Virgo -"The gem cannot be polished without friction nor man without trials." —Confucius Libra -"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." —Ralph Waldo Emerson
Donate
Scorpio -”You will recognize your own path when you come upon it, because you will suddenly have all the energy and imagination you will ever need." —Jerry Gillies
http://main.acsevents.org/goto/Chev
Sagittarius - "It's never too late to be what you might have been." —George Elliot Capricorn -"Life has meaning only if you do what is meaningful to you." —Alan Cohen
All Hail Michelle Obama’s Fashion Awesomeness Michelle Obama a.k.a The First Lady of Fashion has struck us again with her awesomeness. Along with her two daughters who follow in her fashion trends. I must say, she is such an amazing, well dressed First Lady and her kids are to follow. Proving to Americans that you can still be fashionable, trendy, sophisticated, sexy, and don’t have to sink in and be washed out by some pant suit or high shoulder pad suit jacket just because you are in a professional field. Wearing a navy-silk, checkered-patterned coat and dress designed by Thom Browne (that were inspired by a menswear necktie) to belt and shoes from none other than J.CREW. Our First Lady has made an impact in fashion and politics. I have to say, the next First Lady needs to bring her A-game because the last well dressed First Lady was Jackie O. Although, many say she has a stylist group that helps her put her looks together, it’s been apparent she has good taste and knows what will make a statement with a sophisticated touch. One thing I enjoy about her is she makes not just a statement with her fashion, but with her makeup and hair. As First Ladies go through the years in office, they age sometimes more than the Presidents themselves. Michelle has kept her youth and vibrant spirit. Here’s to our First Lady who is an example for us all to step up, be fashionable, stay youthful, and always beautiful, no matter what career path we are in. I know she will keep us following her for years to come.
Photo credit: AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster
Speak On It! The Ladies in the Dillinger Dolls Facebook group weigh in on what this drawing by artist Joe Wierenga.
A heartless woman stripped him of everything he had and left his heart open and vulnerable, with no type of protection at all. -Latonia Sanford I see something diff every time I look at it. I think they once were whole but she cut away from him but there always will be ties that bind the two (the ribbons). He'll always have her heart (love) but she walks away strong with her guard (the blade) heartless. He's left vulnerable, hurt, and incomplete because she had the courage to walk away. -Moni TheStarHall
My take is when she walks away, she may make the biggest emotional fuss but she takes out a bigger chunk out of him. As a woman when her heart breaks, that's all that's broken. She remains intact for the most part. -Rachelle Chevrin I believe this is showing a woman that has found the strength to cut herself away from the man, but I think she's making a clean cut. I think the ribbons are representative of the ties he held over her and since the ends are blunt maybe she is cutting those too. Her head is high and like you said...he may have her heart, but she is essentially whole while walking away. Although the man is left vulnerable and exposed. I see utter surprise at how much of himself was actually because of this woman. -Christina Sims
Picture printed with permission from Joe Wierenga http://joewierenga.com/ https://www.facebook.com/byjoewierenga http://joewierenga.tumblr.com/ “I'm of the opinion that once a piece of art enters the world, the viewer's interpretation becomes more valid than the artist's intention. It doesn't matter what that piece meant to me, because who am I to tell
Be you, Be Efficient
WOMEN ON THE GO! MADEUP IN UNDER 10 MINUTES By Doris Torres I have been getting a flood of inboxes asking me if there a method to apply makeup for busy women...the answer is yes. whether you are a busy mom, professional, student, work 2 jobs, juggle a zoo, run a circus, and direct a parade; on top of all the errands and daily chores...yes, there is a 10 minute makeover. To me, being in the beauty industry, it is a must of importance to be at my best even when at my worst because I am a representative of what I do. I am pretty much a walking advertisement for my profession. I also believe though, at times, as a mom we sometimes don't do anything for ourselves and lipstick is the last thing on our minds. We think more like, "when's nap time?" lol but here are a few items you can purchase to apply on daily. First off, please make a purchase of the basic three items. You will thank me later. you will notice I will always talk about a facial cleaning regimen daily. you need to purchase a facial cleaner, a toner, and some moisturizer. *All products can be purchased at Target*
Sonia Kashuk Hidden Agenda Concealer Palette $10 Apply it and buff it with your buffer blending brush. You save time with a blending brush and get a nice finished look. L'Oreal Bare Mineral Foundation $10.99 Apply all over to your face. Quick, easy application *Please remember to always spray brush cleaner and wipe up your brush after usage. Brushes like these are convenient, but can trap bacteria and cause more of an acne problem* E.L.F Studio Blush Tickled Pink $3 Apply after face powder on your cheek bones. My special trick...dab just a bit to your lips to avoid the smear and heavy look of lipstick. Gives your lips a pouty look without being over bearing :)
And don't forget a good blending brush for cream foundations and concealer palettes Sonia Kashuk, $17
Be You, Be Fabulous. E! Collection Live from the Red Carpet Here are some of our fave Park Lane picks from their E! Red Carpet Collection. www.myparklane.com/eplaza
Tribal Beauty Earrings $85
Doris’ Picks -CHEV’s stylist guru picks out her top pieces for this month. From pencil skirts to bold bracelets. Here are her favorite pieces this month: Oceana $125
Apache Earrings $24
Boa Ring $139
Passionate Rose Ring $54
Be You, Be Trendy Collar necklaces are all the rave right now. In order to stand out while wearing this trend, this simply yet fab spike embellished necklace set is the way to go.
$32
Be You, Be Beautiful
THE RED EDITION By Doris Torres When you see red lips on the red carpet, you have those celebs who you say looked washed out, the makeup wore them, or it was a must have. Here are some good tips I found on helping you all find the perfect shade that will make you still stand out and look good. Kim Wellington broke it down very easily for us: Choosing the Right Shade: "A red is not just a red. Different shades compliment different complexions. If you have a pinkish complexion, you should pick a red that has a plum shade. If you have a complexion with yellow tones, you should choose reds that have a brown base." Be Age Appropriate: "Bright and bold reds are more suitable for younger women. Those shades can highlight the signs of aging and make women look older than they are. Older women should choose lighter tones that are more flattering. However there are exceptions." Tone Down Makeup: "Vibrant red lips do not look good with bold and dramatic eye makeup and blush. Instead, you will look overdone. Wear muted eye makeup and subdued blush. Let your lipstick make a statement on its own. Here’s to choosing the right shade of crimson" www.Citygirlinredlipstick.com
Be You, Be Healthy. As we kicked of 2013, a lot of people made the same resolutions they have done to prior years, but how many of us really stick to them? This article I will touch notes on how to have a healthy heart and overall healthy living, because after all, it is important to live a healthy lifestyle to be able to live longer. June 14, 2012 I walked into work as I would normally have. I was baffled and confused as I saw many of my beloved co-workers and friends upset and what seemed frazzled. A friend of mine approached me and said, " G passed out on the ramp, don't know if it was do to the heat. the ambulance and EMT is out there giving him CPR." I raced passed the ticket counter at the airport (where we worked) and took a short cut running down a couple flights of stairs until I made to the ramp area. By then I saw a couple co-workers upset and more frazzled and the ambulance took off to the hospital. I was asking questions, because G2G as we called him, was the very best friend anyone could ask for. The guys filled me in quickly on what happened, I called my sister and husband and it was a race to the hospital. there we were in the lobby awaiting the news. The nurse told us to wait 5 minutes because the doctors wanted to speak to us. Finally, we walked to the back where he was and the doctors and nurses with tears in their eyes and a struck look of sadness said, "I'm sorry for your loss. Your friend Christopher just didn't make it. It was a massive heart attack." I zoned out and all I could think about was him telling me every night, "Sho' Nuff Ms. D, You're my friend 'till the end!" I fell at his side and cried. Couldn't believe he was gone. How could such a happy person so full of life be gone? Why him?...What about Li'l G ( his only son) what's going to happen to him? In my friend Christopher Polston's memory, I want to help spread the word in bringing awareness that your health matters! It affects others around you and with just small changes done daily, you can get there.
1. See your doctor if you have questions do to hereditary heart and stroke conditions in your family. 2. Be conscious of what you put in your body as far as food, alcohol, cigarettes and such. 3. Be more physically active 4. Avoid situations that may cause stress in your life
By Doris Torres
Lindz Dillinger Exclusive Interview From Near Death To Successful & Fabulous
First ever issue of CHEV Magazine. A publication that sets its whole focus on the everyday Wonder woman. Your average, successful, driven, woman who’s only moment of weakness happens when her superwoman cape is at the dry cleaners. With our perfect target audience in mind. The very first person who came to mind, matching all of these descriptions was none other then Lindz Dillinger. Read her exclusive Q&A with CHEV’s publisher Rachelle. At first glance, most think they got you figured out. Tell us 3 words that describes you that most wouldn't think right away. Mother, Multiracial, & Veteran Give us a brief history lesson, you recently separated from the Army, what were you like before Army and who did you come out as, after? I joined the Army at 17 years old. It wasn't my aspiration to be a soldier, but I was a hellion growing up. After getting kicked out of high school my Mom signed me up for the Challenge Program. It was boot camp based, so it gave me that structure. The recruiters from all the branches were constantly there, because we were on Ft. Dix. So I took the ASVAB, and initially was going Air Force. But the Army was way more enticing. I thank God for the Army because it proved to me that I was more than a derelict. I was able to take my rebellious behavior and the structure of being a soldier, and turned them into leadership. What life lessons did the Army teach you? I've learned so much from the Army, but the most important lesson I learned is this: women can do everything the same, if not better than men, when we put our heart and soul into it. How did becoming a civilian all over again feel? It was the best feeling ever. The soldier still lives inside of me, but my freedom of expression is way more visible. I am now able to fulfill my true purpose in life, and just be here more, physically for my children.
Now the world is at your fingertips, name some of the projects you have brewing. I am in school for cosmetology. Hair and beauty is my passion, so making it all come to life is a fabulous feeling. I am also co owner of Dillinger Dolls, along with my "Battle Bish" Tacha Trendz. Can you elaborate a bit more on “Dillinger Dolls”? Before Tacha and I came up with the name Dillinger Dolls for our clothing company, we went through a plethora of names that had already been trademarked. So we just compiled a name that fully represented us a strong confident women. Our motto is "Killin 'Em With Cockiness" & in today's society WOMEN need that boost of confidence because the media makes being a FEMALE such a glamorous lifestyle. And when I use the term female, I'm referring to those who put them selves out there in a negative light. But with Dillinger Dolls we are creating a positive outlet for those who don't feel the need to fall into any other category than being true to themselves. www.DillingerDolls.com
Tell us about being "The Hair Nurse". How did you come up with the term and what does it mean? Well, being as though I'm still in the works of being fully educated on hair, I donned myself the "Hair Nurse�. I've got that healing touch, and I know how to make hair healthy. This is something that I've been able to do without cosmetology school, since childhood. I work with all hair textures, and in the health profession, nurses heal all. One day I will graduate to be "Hair Doctor", but I'm not quite there yet. What's the secret to juggling motherhood, your passions, success, and looking fabulous doing it all. I ask myself this all the time. First and foremost, a support system is key. I could never say that I do this "all alone" cuz that's so not true! When I feel myself slipping I ask for the help I need from my little village. No parent should get to the point where they absolutely have no time for themselves. Cuz at the end of the day, if you can't make yourself happy, you can't make anybody happy. You've been celibate and riding on the singleship for a little while now, how long has it been and what made you choose that option? One bad relationship after another def made me want to give time to myself. I just felt like I needed a full cleanse.
Spiritually, physically, & mentally. For 9 long months of discipline and will power. What advice would you give to women who are unhappy at being single? How can they find joy in being alone? Love yourself 1st... You are not by yourself, you are with yourself. I am an Alpha Female, so whether I'm with a man or a woman, if you allow me to run the show, it's a wrap. And I don't want to be in a partnership where my SO (significant other) can't stand on their own two feet. At least I can admit that. A lot of women cannot. So I just feel that getting to know onesself is the most important step, before really and truly being happy with someone else. Are you ready to switch from single to taken anytime soon? Why or why not? OMG OMG!!!! While in this singleship, I have been able to take time for ME. I must say this year has felt so damn good! People ask me "Don't you get lonely?" I'm not by myself, I'm with myself. A lot of people misconstrue being single with this lonely entity. For a year I haven't had to answer to anybody, be questioned. I didn't get to 31 so that I have to check in with another. In short, if the right one finds me and accepts Lindsay for the free spirit that I am, then I most certainly don't mind being taken hahaha.
Tell us 3 things most don't know about you. I'm pretty open with myself as far as those in my circle. But for those who don't know me... -I almost died at the age of six. But my Father and Hero saved my sister, cousin, and my life, before losing his own. -I'm more than just a "White Girl", I'm multicultural, but predominantly African American. -I am a proud member of the largest fraternal organization O.E.S and Masonic Phamily. Tell us a little bit more about your father saving your life. February 12, 1988 is a date that will remain in my head as the worst lived nightmare ever. At the time, I was 6 years old. Two days before Valentine's Day when I lost the only man that I ever truly loved... My Father. He had to come pick my sister, cousin, and me up from my grandparent's house, cuz we were acting like three damn fools. It was late, and it had been snowing. So the roads were super icy. Before going to his house, we had to make a quick stop a the 7/11. Instead of going the "safe" way, my Dad went the way which would've been quicker. As we were crossing over the bridge, the car slid into the wooden barrier and crashed into the freezing canal. At first we were trapped inside the car. But my Father managed to get a window open. My sister was only 4, so she was absolutely helpless, so my Dad tended to her. My Cousin
who was 10, was able to swim, pulling me and my heavy coat to where we could get out the water. There was a house right there, and I take it they heard the crash. But at first when we were screaming for help, they told us they couldn't, until they realized we were involved in the accident. My cousin and I were taken into the house where our clothes had to be cut off, since they became frozen on our bodies. All the while, my Father and sister are still in the water. I remember asking repeatedly "Where's my Daddy? Where's my Daddy" we all ended up at different hospitals, so everything was confusing and chaotic. All the while I'm thinking everyone is safe and ok though. But the next morning was when I got the heartbreaking news that my Father had drowned, because he was holding my sister up, so that she could be saved. After this went down, I went through therapy after therapy after therapy. At that time, nobody knew about PTSD, but come to find out I've been living with it for all my life. This tragedy has made a huge impact on my life and my character. Some parts good, and some parts very bad. it's made me strong and weak at the same time. But the strong Lindsay will never let the weak Lindsay win. Find Lindz on all your favorite social networks: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram.
Lindz’s Favorite Things: Color: Pink Saying: "Fabulous Dawling" Animal: Flamingo & Fennec Fox Book: Transform Your Life Accessory: My tattoos TV show: Catfish hahahaha
This or That? Cuddling or Move Over Driver or Passenger Chocolate or Candy Club or Restaurant at? Both! Can I say th Guy or Girl Hahaha!!
Facebook or Twitter Bath or Shower Will Farrow or Adam Sandler Lipstick or Lipgloss Love or Money I’m gonna have to say MONEY! Until Love finds me!
LipGlllass! MAC!
FORGIVENESS A True Story Of Grace
I read the news account of a horrendous crime about 18 years before this story. I never even considered at the time that the young infant, who was only 18 months old when her mother was murdered, would somehow be part of my life, but the story impacted me deeply. In today's world, it seems like these stories are in the news every day. When I began working in the prison system, it amazed me how often the many people in the stories about crime I had read in the papers or seen on television I would meet. It probably shouldn't have been a surprise, but I was new to the culture and had so much to learn. I also came to realize that some criminals were not always as frightening as they were portrayed in the media, but others were. Whether they had changed as a result of the incident, or because of the sentencing, was not my call. Nor did I ask about their past unless they chose to reveal it. I relied on spiritual discernment to provide guidance, rather than judging. Their sentence was adequate judgment in most cases, and the reality that life in prison can break you down completely was a consequence, sometimes. I also believe today, that for those who do not accept responsibility for their actions against other human beings, they are most often destined for more of the same. The system may let someone off the hook, but God does not. I have been criticized for that approach, but I believe that "it is appointed unto man, once to die and then comes judgment." For those who ignore standards of law, and moral decency and refuse to acknowledge their wrong it is a surety. I believe that God's grace to forgive extends to the directly offended party(ies). I have also observed that when others take up an offense for them, the anger that results produces extreme bitterness. That bitterness is learned and then compounded when the offense is rehearsed again and again. I also do not judge people for that, since it is not up to me. I have witnessed events that confirm that forgiveness eventually opens all kinds of doors for darkness to
wreak havoc in the mind. We are fed with more violent thoughts of revenge and sometimes retribution. We have seen the results in our society as these thoughts drive minds demanding justice for wrongs done. It is a natural human tendency. I have also watched obstinately unforgiving people go on to take on the characteristics of the people they detest, while doing the same things themselves. This is a true story about a supernatural intervention in a most horrendous situation, in which forgiveness became possible. I experienced apprehension and skepticism at first, having been fairly seasoned in the criminal justice system for some time. I became convinced as it unfolded into a beautiful example of how grace can transcend injustice to mercy. A young woman came to speak to me one afternoon. Her mother was murdered when she was 2 years old. As I said earlier, the case was high profile, it had happened shortly before I left California years ago. The perpetrator literally tied her to her dying mother and left them in a remote place, presumably to die and hide the evidence of his rage-induced crime of passion. The child was discovered by a hiker, rescued by law enforcement, and nursed back to physical health by surviving family members. Unfortunately, but understandably, she was subjected to her grandparent's accounts of the horrendous crime and their corresponding outrage. She related to me that since she had no recollection of either her mother or the unthinkable crime, she did not comprehend much of it until she was in her early teens. This parental grief and anger spilled over onto a child who was unequipped to handle not only the gruesome details of the crime, but the accompanying emotions. These atrocities occur daily all over our world, and sometimes we become indifferent to the impact they have on individuals. We find ourselves fascinated by the depth and origin of this type of evil for some strange reason, when we should be repulsed and repelled by it. She carried this anger deposited by her family, and as she became an adult, came to accept hatred as the only emotion appropriate for interpreting the offense.
As she grew older, the poison in her heart grew deeper still, and began to control her thinking and then her life. Ironically, she eventually acted out on that anger against someone else, and ended up in prison herself. She came to me that day, looking for answers about forgiveness, and received a piece of the puzzle, although I didn't know it at the time. Then came the miracle. The man who committed the crime who had been in prison for 20+ years came to an adjoining facility for a specialized doctor's appointment for cancer that ravaged his body. She did not know any of the details, since prisoners are not generally open about these things. He was held in isolation at the Reception Center where she had a job working in the kitchen. Shocked as she recognized his name on the food preparation list (he was not allowed to the chow hall to eat) she wrote 3 words on the back of the slip that held his name. "I forgive you." and she signed her name. She came to me, shaking, but not from anger, from excitement, commenting "he is here! I don't feel hatred any more!" Then she explained to me what had taken place. Taken back to his facility the next day, He visited his chaplain, someone he only saw in passing through the years because he didn't think himself worthy for God to forgive. His chaplain called me, and we, receiving permission from the Deputy Director, asked the woman if she was interested in receiving a letter from the other offender, a one-time-only permissible exchange. She never hesitated, and gave her consent. The other chaplain provided a space in his office and the offender showed up promptly. Shortly after he arrived, he broke down weeping as he wrote a letter, not explaining or discussing the crime, but acknowledging his sorrow over what he had done and what he had taken from her. He took full responsibility for the crime (stopping midway and confessing every detail to the chaplain, which became his own measure of sincerity). He then continued the letter by asking for her forgiveness and assuring her that her words of grace and compassion were beyond his comprehension. Then he suggested she go on to live a responsible good life in honor of her mother.
He disclosed that had been engaged to her at the time of the crime, and taken drugs, became out of control and committed this horrible act. This from the account given to the chaplain, but not in his words to her in the letter.) He gave her a piece of information she had never known before. He was her father. Her grandparents had never disclosed this to her. Of course the letter was read (but no editing was necessary) by the Chaplain before it was forwarded to me for her. This inter-facility communication had only happened twice in the 14 years I was a chaplain. One was when compassion allowed a phone call from a husband to his wife (he was dying). She was allowed to decide when she was ready to read it and visit with me for that purpose. She cried as she read the letter, clearly both feeling and comprehending the magnitude of his sorrow over all that she had lost. Then she said quietly, "doesn't he know I already forgave him? Didn't you say Jesus already died for all our sins, past, present and future? Please tell his chaplain, I meant it what I wrote him, but Jesus is really the one who can wash him clean of all the guilt and shame. Tell him to lay it down and accept forgiveness, because living with guilt like that is no way to live. Oh and can you tell my Dad I love him?" In 10 minutes a lifetime of heartache was addressed and relationship restored. It was her choice. She made the choice to hear. He made the choice to own it every day for the rest of his life, something he later told me when I visited him in the hospital with the other chaplain. Of course the psychiatrists wanted to counsel with her later, to assure she was able to handle it. That didn't happen, she refused, saying, "Why do I need to analyze this, God did it, and He healed our hearts, so let's just leave it at the cross, ok?" She was at peace, finally. So that's exactly what the chaplain relayed to him. He came back to the chaplain's office often to ask more about spiritual life. He asked for and then learned how to read his own bible and then asked if he could volunteer to work in the Chaplain's Library. He died suddenly of a heart attack 4 months later, before the cancer treatments were over.
She was released just shortly after his death, and I was told by others that she visited his gravesite to bring closure. Then she implored her grandparents to do what she had done, forgive. She went on to college and continued her life helping others to handle grief. Today, she is known for her extraordinary work in helping others affected by crime forgive. She understands that some will never forgive because they hold on to the false belief that punishment is a cure. She offers a solution, that love is the cure, for pretty much everything wrong in this world. She has been there, and she is effective. She chooses to stay anonymous in regard to the crime, because for her, it was buried with her mother and father. Her grandparents choose not to forgive. They suggested she not share this story lest those who have had such horrible things happen to them unwittingly become victims once again. They are cynical, and untrusting of most everyone they meet. It is their right, and they are exercising it fully. I do not judge them, because like my own experience, no one should have to bury their children. Life happens, we choose our response. That is why she can walk this road, offer hope, and help others get free. When I think about this woman, how can I make excuses for not letting go of petty disagreements, and the resulting aftermath?
Yes, for her, and for us, choosing to forgive is a most extravagant gift of “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness grace. is the attribute of the strong.” strong.”-- Mahatma Gandhi
Author: Linda Vecchiarelli
Ways to forgive:
Visit her blog on Hub Pages “Simple Gifts of Love”. Apart from being a poet & writer, she’s also a mother & a wife. In her own words: “My life is an extraordinary adventure. I experienced the loss of children at a very young age. I am a survivor who has chosen to learn to transform my losses into relational touch points to reach out other hurting people going through difficult passages of life. I serve as a Christian Community Chaplain, doing weddings and funerals, visiting hospices, hospitals, prisoners and recovering addicts. I am a student of life as I support and mentor people in recovery and life altering transitions through relationship and spiritual direction. I believe that because life is complex, there are neither quick fixes, nor easy answers.”
Side note: CHEV just to thank Linda for her awesome work and her great stories , as well as being so open to share those stories with us. Look out for more and more features from her and definitely check out her blog for more!! -CHEV Publisher, Rachelle
Remember they are only human. Remind yourself, you’re forgiving not for them. But for yourself. Holding on to anger and resentment will only hurt you more than it will hurt them.
Time is best healer. Allow it to do its job.
Try to not rehash or dwell on the event/memory/person as much as you can. When it comes to mind, take a deep breath and let it go (literally & figuratively)
Realize that it takes less energy to love and forgive then it does to hold a grudge. The reward is peace of mind.
Remember why you love that person. Forgiveness is part of loving someone
Don’t force it. If it’s hard to forgive at that time, then you may just not be ready. Give it a little more time and when you feel ready, open your heart and welcome it.
Remember how liberating it felt the last time you forgave someone. Realize the feeling was “I wish I had forgiven sooner” and not “I wish I had stayed mad longer.”
“Give up on all hope of a better past.” - Matt Child
Love Thy Neighbor: Is Someone You Know Suicidal? Know The Signs And How To Help
Nothing like a snowy winter night and everything like a
words lightly; this in most cases is a cry for help or a
hot summer’s day, there are sometimes situations
ping to see if anyone is listening. People who are
where the feeling is one where you can’t win for losing.
depressed often feel a sense of hopelessness or as if
Within each of us is our own flaws and pressures of life.
they don’t want to be a burden on others. From the
Suicide is never the answer. But how would you know if
outside it may seem unnecessary to think well “why do
someone is contemplating doing it? We’ll go over some
you feel that way”? But the person having the thoughts
of the more noticeable symptoms. A common idea with
would think the guilt is deserved. This makes them pull
suicide that most people have is that it may be some-
away from friends or not want to go out as they lose
thing someone would do just to get attention. You are
interest in doing things that they use to enjoy. This
right and you are wrong, one thing’s for sure is that if
changing behavior, sometimes making extremely
you or someone you know maybe having thoughts or
careless decisions and indulging in self-destruction.
expressing in a way that hints to suicide it shouldn’t be
Noticing the habits of someone going through deep
taken lightly.
depression with suicidal thoughts is just as important.
People who attempt or commit suicide do so in a
Sometimes they pickup or abuse a drug or substance in
wrongful hope that they would no longer suffer
hopes of controlling when and what happens. A very
emotionally, physically or even both. This type of
heavy or bad drinking habit can cause severe mood
behavior can be seen mainly with people who have
swings and could be a for sure sign of suicidal tenden-
mental disorder, deep depression, or from drug and
cies. We can’t prevent another person from acting on
alcohol use. Suicide is not only something people do
their intentions, but if we can see and hear the signs
when feeling depressed, it’s done for many other
early then we can be in a position of prevention of
reasons like religion, creeds or beliefs of life. It’s a good
attempting or committing suicide. We have to keep in
thing to know the signs because you may one day have
mind that people who are experiencing this may not
the chance to do something about it. Not everyone
seek treatment. They won’t go out on their own to get
knows how to ask for help.
the help, there may be some reason for them feeling
No one is born suicidal but there are mental illnesses
like they have given up. Many times they feel like noth-
that can be a cause of suicidal thoughts or actions. A
ing will help, or they just don’t want to tell anyone what
short list would include bipolar disorder, schizophrenia,
they are going through. They may even think that
or even a personality disorder. It’s not to say that these
asking for help is a sign of weakness. Whichever of
things will definitely lead to it, but they have a lot to do
these signs and symptoms it is, do take serious the
with the way we think and our actions. Some mental
nature of something such as Suicide.
illness effect sleep, where a person would not get as
All too often we laugh and make jokes of it but this is
many hours in as usual. Not too long after the feeling of
something that takes place on the daily around us. So
stress would set in.
many people turn to suicide as the answer to their
Sometimes life situations may feel overwhelming or so
problems or ongoing situations in hope of no longer
stressful that they may say things that hint to their
facing it. We must keep in mind that we are not in
intent of self-harm, for example the feeling of “ending it
control of everything around us or even ourselves at
all” or “they won’t notice when I’m gone” “No one
times.
cares”. Someone with suicidal thoughts will eventually express what they are feeling and they usually do so to someone they care about or trust. Don’t take their
There is a greater understanding of the mind that not many of us have. Facing rejection, financial woes or relationship issues are the pressures that come with life and we all have to deal with them. Harming ourselves is
It’s ok to Ask for Help
never the answer because it affects those who are close to us and care about us dearly. Remember that in life one thing we will learn sooner or later is to have our emotions work for us and not against us. And the best prevention
Signs and Symptoms
against suicide is to Love Thy Self.
of Suicidal Thoughts With everyone spreading Love, no one will feel like they are not. Thank You for reading this article, if you or
someone you know is going through any phases or sharing any of these symptoms please don’t hesitate to seek help. No matter what problems you are dealing with, there is
always a reason to keep living. Call the Depression and Suicidal Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will get to speak with a counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7.
Michael J. Forbes, Author
Website: www.iKnowMrForbes.com Twitter: @iKnowMrForbes Facebook: @iKnowMrForbes Instagram: @iKnowMrForbes
Talking about Death Talking about killing themselves Feeling trapped or hopeless Increasing use of alcohol/drugs Withdrawn from others, isolation Going through polar mood swings Acting anxious, changes in behavior Lost of interest in things once enjoyed PTSD / Depression Disorder _________________________________
If someone you know, is threatening to kill themselves -no matter how much you don't believe them to be serious, thinking they are just seeking attention—remember this is too serious a topic to take light. And better be safe then sorry. Sometimes they are just reaching out for a friend, a listener, someone to sit quietly and hear them vent, someone to ask “Are you ok?”, then to simply LISTEN. Keeping their opinions to themselves and passing no judgments. Just silently lending them an ear and a shoulder. -Publisher, Rachelle Chevrin
Reach out and Love Thy Neighbor
Www.ChevMag.com @Chev_Mag FB: Chev Publisher Hi@ChevMag.com IG: Chev_Mag