MENTAL HEALTH Understanding caregiver fatigue

400health Understanding caregiver fatigue

“There are only four kinds of people in the world: those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers, and those who will need caregivers.”

– Rosalynn Carter

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Tips for keeping yourself healthy, so you can help your loved one

By Sudie Crouch | Health & wellness columnist

My grandmother had often talked about how she wished she had went to school to be a nurse, saying that she felt like being a caregiver was a part of her nature.

When my grandfather was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, she insisted on trying to keep her in the home as much as possible, as she felt like it was not only part of her vows to be with him in sickness and health, but that she was well able to take care of him.

While her heart was in a place of love and compassion, she didn’t realize the physical and emotional toll that comes with being a caregiver.

At one point or another, many of us will find ourselves in the role of caregiver.

Whether it’s for a brief stint, or long-term, it can be challenging. Caregivers often are so busy putting others first that it can cause them to feel increased stress and burnout.

Some of the reasons for caregiver fatigue are not always the most obvious either.

Oftentimes, the caregiver may be worried someone else won’t be able to do the things needed for the person they are taking care of.

Changes in routine can be hard sometimes, and there may be complicated steps involved, especially in regards to medication, wound care, etc. It’s also very difficult to ask for help if you’re used to being the one everyone else counts on. There may not be someone to ask, too. Family may not live in close proximity and people may worry it will be a burden to ask a friend to help.

Feeling overwhelmed

Caregivers typically feel the pressure of having to do their regular routine in addition to being a caregiver. And, when asking for help is difficult, this can make being overwhelmed quite easy.

This can manifest in many different ways — being irritable, lack of attention span, unable to make decisions, and even depressed — and even though the caregiver may know they have too much on their plate, it may be hard to express this is what they’re feeling.

Changes in sleep

Even though they are exhausted, it can be hard for caregivers to rest. They may worry they will be needed, or they feel like there is so much to get done, that they will decrease their sleep time to accommodate it.

If you’ve ever been a new mother, those feelings of sleep deprivation are very similar in these situations. Since sleep is so important, this can further exacerbate the feelings of overwhelm and lead to other issues.

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On the flip side of this situation, you may be a friend or family member who wants to help, but you aren’t sure what to do. Sometimes, just asking if you can run an errand can be so helpful and take a task off the caregiver’s plate.

Better still, ask if you can sit with the person they are taking care of so the caregiver can get out of the house for a break — caregivers often neglect their own self-care so being able to schedule a hair appointment or even get a massage can feel like an amazing reprieve.

Often caregivers are so busy they may not have time to do household chores like dusting, laundry, etc. so offering to come by to do one of those can be a tremendous help.

You may feel guilty for taking time to do things for yourself, but it is absolutely necessary. Just like we’re told to put our oxygen mask on first before helping those around us on an airplane, the same can be said for caregiving.

It is not selfish to take time for yourself; if anything, it can help you feel energized and restored.

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It can be hard to know where to get support. Always reach out to your physician as well, to see if they know of any support groups or any other agencies that may have resources specific to your needs.

Please know that while there may be some community resources available to help, they often have certain requirements for eligibility and many have a waiting list for services.

If you foresee that you may be in need of these services in the future, it may be helpful to do some pre-planning ahead of time.

Online resources

Legacy Link: legacylink.org Senior Services: visit forsythco.com, click Departments, then scroll down and click Senior Services Forsyth County senior resource guide: bit.ly/3uPaDLk

Sudie Crouch is a health & wellness coach, helping clients create healthy, attainable changes using positive psychology and cognitive behavior approaches.