Forte #615 by Forte Mag

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Mark Ronson “ I love sitting in a room with people that I dig or I’m inspired by and like coming up with something from scratch!” pg.19

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ALSO FEATURING: Wolf Alice, Genevieve Chadwick, Peace Train, Sex With Strangers, Leikography and heaps more!

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Plus all the latest local entertainment news, music and movie reviews and all your favourite Forte columns!

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ed's note First, I’d like to take some time to acknowledge the incredible Mark Ronson who is our cover star this issue. Abbey King was lucky enough to chat to Mark as he rushed around in a cab in London in the midst of rehearsals. He’s just as excited to come to Australia as we are that he’s coming, only just. You can read up about him on page 19. Aside from Mark, this issue marks our annual Cheap Eats feature. There simply couldn’t be a better time of year to be thinking about warm tasty treats to keep yourself

forte issue #615 thursday 25 JUNE 2015

warm than during winter, and ones that won’t break the bank – even if you pick up two or three. I know I’ll slowly be making my way through the list and you should too. Haven’t you heard? Winter is the time to eat your weight in food. How else do you think bears in Canada survive the freezing months? That and hibernating with Orange is the New Black played on repeat. Further in we had a chat with country schlock rockers Graveyard Train (page 51), Wolf Alice (page 20), Gen Chadwick

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(page 55) and well-known actor and all-round nice guy, Samuel Johnson (page 60). So be sure to take our lovely mag along with you as you eat your way through our Cheap Eats venues, after all, the perfect eating out experience is had with good food, a drink to wash it down and a good read to stimulate the brain (though I can guarantee your stomach will be doing most of the work). I’ll see you out there.

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Barenaked Ladies Get the Ball Rolling It’s been a lot longer than one week since we last heard from the Barenaked Ladies, but we can’t be more appreciative that the band that created so many memories are producing new music. Silverball marks the 14th release from the band and is out now.

Pussy Riot Member Detained Last time we heard, sewing wasn’t illegal, though it certainly got Pussy Riot member Nadezhda Tolokonnikova in trouble. As part of a peaceful protest in Moscow to show the difficulty for female ex-inmates in adapting back into society, Nadezhda began sewing the Russian flag with a fellow protestor. The duo were detained, though no charges were formerly made.

Where’s My Money? Chet Faker Builds Up It’s been a little while since we’ve heard from the musical legend that is Chet Faker, he seemed to take Australia by storm in the past few years and has been quiet for most of this one. Though as of this morning, Chet announced his east coast tour Built on Live, one last celebration of his album Built on Glass and the last shows he’ll be performing in Australia for a while. Chet will hit up the Sidney Myer Music Bowl in Melbourne on October 30. What also came with the tour announcement, was a new track ‘Bend’ premiered on triple j. Chet says of the release: “’Bend’ was on Built on Glass until the last minute. I recorded it in 2013 and kinda wanted to put it out since. It’s always felt like a part of Built on Glass and since this tour is the sort of live “director’s cut” of the album it made sense to release this before it lost context.”

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For those who have been following the shock allegations that Tame Impala’s former label Modular Recordings took millions of dollars in royalties from the band, things just got a little bit more interesting as German publishing giant BMG has taken

legal action. Kevin Parker recently spoke about the issue to The Music, “I knew there was some stuff going on, obviously, and we knew it was going to happen, we knew something was on the horizon… We just didn’t know what was going to happen with it. As far as I was concerned I’d written off that side of things, I’d heard that some money had gone missing, blah blah blah, that’s all I really thought about it.”

Sign With Blood

Farewell to a Legend While we may know him as the white wizard in the Lord of the Rings series, Sir Christopher Lee starred in over 200 movies throughout his career. It’s with sad news that we farewell the talented actor who passed away aged 93. Though he’ll forever live on through our screens.

It seems things can’t get better for Sydney band Bloods as they’ve just become the first Australian band to sign with Seattle-based company Sub Pop. The worldwide publishing deal is surely a sign of much bigger things to come for the band, watch this space.

Palma Rama Ding Dong Maybe you missed out on tickets to see these UK wonders in their Splendour Sideshow tour? Well put down the tissues, as they’ve just announced a headline show at Ding Dong Lounge in Melbourne on July 26. Get in quick, you’d surely rather be buying tickets to this gig than tissues at the supermarket.

Bill Murray Rocks Out In our minds Bill Murray can do no wrong, even as a failed band manager in his new film Rock the Casbah. Starring alongside Kate Hudson, Zoey Deschanel and Bruce Willis, Murray plays Richie Lanz a talented rock manager who’s well, lost his talent somewhat. The trailer for the film is out now, so give it a squiz.

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Laneway Leak As each year goes on, it seems to get harder and harder for those involved in festivals to stop festival leaks. The most recent of which being Hudson Mohawke, who in an interview with Stoney Roads revealed he would be heading to Laneway in 2016. What happened to pinky swears?

Oh Josephine

Alison Wonderland’s Got Milk Those who cringe at the sight of mess, best avert your eyes from Alison Wonderland’s newest clip for her single ‘Run’. Featuring a bunch of beaten up looking dudes who rob an ice cream store, after fighting over the bounty of ice cream (or what we can only assume is ice cream) it ends up tipped all over their bodies. Delicious.

Time for a Winner The time has come for the second instalment of The Hunger Games: Mockingjay and Katniss’ attack on the Capitol. Get your eyes on the trailer; it’s just what you need in your life right now.

Chris Hemsworth Sees a Ghost 2015 seems to be a year of remakes, but none have shaken things up

more than Paul Feig with his new take on the Ghostbusters story. With females as the lead roles, Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones, the film is set to be completely different from what we grew up watching. Factor in Chris Hemsworth as the receptionist and clichéd Hollywood film roles have been flipped on its head.

While Bustamento have been touring around gaining new fans with every show, it’s been a little while since we’ve heard some new music from the seven piece. With the new single and clip ‘Josephine’ – a dedication to the sultry American-born French entertainer Josephine Baker from the ‘20s – the wait is over.

Good Ol’ Blinky Bill Only Australian children will truly understand the joy gained from a koala wearing red overalls. Of course I’m talking about Blinky Bill. If you haven’t heard, the popular cartoon is getting an animated movie remake. Featuring Toni Colette, David Wenham, Deborah Mailman and others, it’s set to be a blast from the past. Though there’s sure to be many fighting the adjustments to their childhood hero.

Giants Stomp Through Australia Following on from a successful 2013 tour of Australia, They Might Be Giants are back for another round this November. With such rave reviews from last time it’s about time you bought tickets for this one! The band will stop off at The Forum in Melbourne, November 7.

Splendour Gets Arty

5 Seconds on Fire Gigantic jet flames seems like a pretty big obstacle to avoid in the midst of a live set, and unfortunately for 5 Seconds of Summer guitarist Michael Clifford, that proved to be true. During the band’s performance at Wembley Arena in London the musician stepped in the line of fire (pardon the pun) and singed half his face and hair. Michael has since posted a selfie of his bandaged face, with the response of many adoring fans and offers of TLC.

Chris Pratt Signs On While Jurassic World has only recently hit our cinemas, in an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Chris Pratt admits he is signed on for more Jurassic World sequels. There hasn’t been an official statement on the sequels, but with how well the first one’s done, we’re sure there’s bound to be at least three, possibly four, more.

Splendour is about so much more than bringing incredible musical acts to the Australian east coast. It’s also about providing the most unexpected, unforgettable and snap-worthy moments of the year. Part of that comes from the art on show at the festival, and they’ve just announced what you can expect (though you can never really prepare yourself ). Pieces from Bennet Miller, Hungry Castle (titled Nicolas Cage in a Cage), Tom Borgas and more will be there. Expect pom poms, glitter, sand and lots of mind altering art.

Back in Your Street It seems the boys of The Smith Street Band can do no wrong. Following on from their mini festivals held in Sydney and Brisbane, the band go on to play Reading and Leeds festival in the UK and – for the cherry on top – will start a national tour in their hometown of Melbourne. The tour starts off at 170 Russell on September 4 (then back in Melbourne again at the Corner Hotel on September 19) with Andrew Jackson Jihad, The Sidekicks and The Sugarcanes coming along for the ride.

Bjork Gets Interactive While we can’t fully appreciate the interactive wonder of the clip via YouTube, Bjork has managed to create an interactive clip for fans through the use of Oculus Rift headwear in her new clip ‘Stonemilker’. With the headwear viewers are able to move around the frame in 360 degrees. They can follow Bjork, peruse the landscape or simply stand and watch. Either way, we all knew Bjork would be the one to make it possible.

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T H E THURSDAY 25TH JUNE

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BABUSHKA BAR (Ballarat): Tim Hudspith & Goldentone, Michael Plater, Dean Richards BARWON CLUB: Alpine, Darts, Olympia BARWON HEADS HOTEL: Trivia Night from 7:30pm BEAVS BAR: Levi Anderson BIRD ROCK: Mexican Night; Mi Casa Su Casa, Taqueria and Tequila EDGE GEELONG: Live Music and DJ ELEPHANT & CASTLE: $20 Asahi Seafood & Chips Night EUREKA HOTEL: Eureka Thursdays with local DJs GPAC: Hannie Rayson: Hello Beautiful LIGHTHOUSE THEATRE (Warrnambool): Sex With Strangers LORD OF THE ISLES: Trivia in the courtyard MARTIANS CAFE: $25 International Night including drink PISTOL PETES: Andrea Robertson & Friends THE SPHINX HOTEL: Schnitzel Night from $13 ST JAMES: Live DJs

Friday Unwind from 5pm. Live with live entertainment and DJ THE EASTERN: SWHAT, Dixon Cider, The Shorts EDGE GEELONG: Live Music and DJ ELEPHANT AND CASTLE: Thank Guinness It’s Friday EUREKA HOTEL: Live DJs THE GROVEDALE HOTEL: Luke Hindson HAMILTON PERFORMING ARTS CENTRE (Hamilton): Sex With Strangers HOME HOUSE: Homehouse Fridays Party with live DJs KAROVA LOUNGE (Ballarat): Alpine THE LOFT (Warrnambool): Max Goes to Hollywood THE LORD NELSON: Happy Hour 5pm-7pm MAX HOTEL: 3 On the Tree ODYSSEYTAVERN AND BREWERY: Live Music PISTOL PETES: Andy Layfield Duo SAINTS & SAILORS (Portarlington): Live Music ST JAMES: Live DJs SUTTONS HOUSE OF MUSIC (Ballarat): Sam Boon Soul Sessions

FRIDAY 26TH JUNE

SATURDAY 27TH JUNE

BABUSHKA BAR (Ballarat): Jessey Jackson BARWON CLUB: Hadal Maw, Nemesium, The Ruiner, Join the Amish, The Hazard Circular BARWON HEADS HOTEL: Happy Hour 5-7pm, Meat Raffle & Members Draw BEAVS BAR: Luke Biscan BELMONT HOTEL: Live Music BIRD ROCK: It’s Friday B!tches BLACK HATT: Cool Change THE CAPITAL THEATRE (Bendigo): Frenchy CITY QUARTER BAR:

BARWON CLUB: Clowns, Poppin Mommas, Summer Blood, Crossed BEAVS BAR: Jack Harman BELMONT HOTEL: Live Music BLACK HATT: Geelong Punk Rock Round Two THE EASTERN: Into Ruin, Stoning, A Greed Science, Feast of Crows EDGE: Live Music and DJ EUREKA: $5 Night, Zac Waters, Pop Up Eats Presents Burgers & Beers GEELONG RSL: Rock & Roll Crooners GPAC: Stripey, the Eggscellent adventures of an emu chick THE GROVEDALE

HOTEL: Joss Russell HOMEHOUSE: TWhite, Best Hip Hop & RnB KAROVA LOUNGE (Ballarat): Eyes Wide Open THE LOFT (Warrnambool): Howqua MAIN BAR (Ballarat): Todd Cook MAX HOTEL: Frequency ODYSSEYTAVERN AND BREWERY: Live Music OLD HEPBURN HOTEL: Matt Gurry PISTOL PETE’S: Wayne Jury & the Rectifiers PORTLAND ARTS CENTRE (Portland): Sex With Strangers SAINTS & SAILORS (Portarlington): Live Music ST JAMES: Live DJs: House, Hip Hop, RnB SUTTONS HOUSE OF MUSIC (Ballarat): Sun On The Moon: James Taylor Tribute Show THE TOTE: Ceres

SUNDAY 28TH JUNE BARWON CLUB: Test Pilot Molly, Spray Paint, The Living Eyes, Cuntz, Orb BIRD ROCK: Sunday Sessions $9 Pizzas CITY QUARTER: Perfect Sunday Sesh Live music and DJ from 4pm EDGE GEELONG: Live Music and DJ ELEPHANT & CASTLE: Live Jazz from 3-6pm and Parmi Night GEELONG RSL: $13 Carvery lunch GROVEDALE HOTEL: Ben Dew HER MAJESTY’S THEATRE (Ballarat): The Ratpack from Vegas ODYSSEYTAVERN AND BREWERY: Live Music OLD HEPBURN HOTEL: Mission Jade SAINTS & SAILORS (Portarlington): Live Music ST JAMES: Live Music & DJs THE SPHINX HOTEL:

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MONDAY 29TH JUNE BENDED: Steak night ELEPHANT & CASTLE: $20 Steak & Drink night GEELONG RSL: Members Draw, over $3000 in prizes to be won! OLD HEPBURN HOTEL (Hepburn Springs): Parmi night THE SPHINX HOTEL: Meals for $11

TUESDAY 30TH JUNE BENDED: Parmi night BLACK HATT: Bachata Dance Classes ELEPHANT & CASTLE: $20 Steak & Drink night GEELONG RSL: Steak Night $13 OLD HEPBURN HOTEL (Hepburn Springs): Parmi night

WEDNESDAY 1ST JULY BABUSHKA BAR (Ballarat): Karaoke THE BARWON HEADS HOTEL: Master of Dartness and Poker from 7pm BEAVS BAR: Open Mic, Karaoke BENDED: Second chance & pub quiz BIRD ROCK: Drinks Specials, Ping Pong Challenge ELEPHANT AND CASTLE: Trivia Night from 8pm. GEELONG (52 Garden St): No Lights No Lycra GEELONG RSL: Pot and Parmi Night $13 GOLD DIGGERS ARMS: Spinning Wheel and a lot of Parmi’s from $14.50 GPAC: Back to Broadway MAX HOTEL: Lukey’s Open Mic Night OLD HEPBURN HOTEL (Hepburn Springs): Roast night PISTOL PETES: Food and Blues

THURSDAY 2ND JULY BABUSHKA BAR (Ballarat): Howqua BEAVS BAR: Andy Forster BIRD ROCK: Mexican Night; Mi Casa Su Casa, Taqueria and Tequila EDGE GEELONG: Live Music and DJ ELEPHANT & CASTLE: $20 Asahi Seafood & Chips Night EUREKA HOTEL: Eureka Thursdays with local DJs GPAC: Back to Broadway KAROVA LOUNGE (Ballarat): Feast of Crows LORD OF THE ISLES: Trivia in the courtyard MARTIANS CAFE: $25 International Night including drink ODYSSEY TAVERN AND BREWERY: Live Music PISTOL PETE’S: LIVE MUSIC THURSDAYS: Memphis Joe THE SPHINX HOTEL: Schnitzel Night from $13 ST JAMES: Live DJs

FRIDAY 3RD JULY 13TH BEACH GOLF LINKS: Tex Perkins & Charlie Owen Dinner & Show BARWON CLUB: Graveyard Train BARWON HEADS HOTEL: Happy Hour 5-7pm, Meat Raffle & Members Draw BEAVS BAR: Luke Biscan BELMONT HOTEL: Live Music BIRD ROCK: It’s Friday B!tches BLACK HATT: JJ and the Blue Dogs THE CAPITAL (Bendigo): Experience Floyd CHERRY BAR: Atomic Riot, Smoke Stack Rhino, Darcee Fox CITY QUARTER BAR: Friday Unwind from 5pm. Live with live entertainment and DJ THE EASTERN: Dumb Punts, Pow Pow Kids,

calen d ar Lime Lagoons EDGE GEELONG: Live Music and DJ ELEPHANT AND CASTLE: Thank Guinness It’s Friday EUREKA HOTEL: Live DJs GPAC: Exit the King THE GROVEDALE HOTEL: Levi & Cody HER MAJESTY’S THEATRE (Ballarat): Arj Barker HOME HOUSE: Homehouse Fridays Party with DJs KAROVA LOUNGE (Ballarat): Gold Fields & KLP THE LOFT (Warrnambool): Tully on Tully THE LORD NELSON: Happy Hour 5pm-7pm MAX HOTEL: Trojan ODYSSEY TAVERN AND BREWERY: Stars & Stripes American Festival; Sidey OLD HEPBURN HOTEL: Twilight Makers Market THE PALMS AT CROWN: Peace Train PISTOL PETES: Trouble Shooters ft Matilda & Jason (Gator Queen) SAINTS & SAILORS (Portarlington): Live Music SUTTONS HOUSE OF MUSIC (Ballarat): Pugsley Buzzard

SATURDAY 4TH JULY BEAVS BAR: Ryan Campbell BELMONT HOTEL: Live Music BLACK HATT: 4 Local Bands THE EASTERN: Blien Vesne, A Miner EDGE: Live Music and DJ EUREKA: $5 Night, Live DJS GPAC: Peace Train, Exit the King THE GROVEDALE HOTEL: Thom HER MAJESTY’S THEATRE (Ballarat): Experience Floyd HOMEHOUSE: Zac Depetro, Best Hip Hop & RNB

KAROVA LOUNGE (Ballarat): Hot Dub Time Machine THE LIGHTHOUSE THEATRE (Warrnambool): Arj Barker THE LOFT (Warrnambool): Ali E, Cochillia MAX HOTEL: Whooshka ODYSSEYTAVERN AND BREWERY: Stars & Stripes American Festival; Luke Pote, Jimmy Graham PISTOL PETE’S: Mick Dogs Bone Yard SAINTS & SAILORS (Portarlington): Live Music ST JAMES: Live DJs: House, Hip Hop, RnB YAH YAHS: Burlyrock presents: The Ugly Kings, Miss Ferri Maya, Miss Bettie Bombshell, Lucy Dip

SUNDAY 5TH JULY BIRD ROCK: Sunday Sessions $9 Pizzas CITY QUARTER: Perfect Sunday Sesh Live music and DJ from 4pm EDGE GEELONG: Live Music and DJ ELEPHANT & CASTLE: Live Jazz from 3-6pm and Parmi Night GEELONG RSL: $13 Carvery lunch GPAC: Exit the King GROVEDALE HOTEL: Jason Hoekstra LORD NELSON: Sunday Funday Live Music ODYSSEYTAVERN AND BREWERY: Stars & Stripes American Festival; Ben Dew SAINTS & SAILORS (Portarlington): Live Music THE SPHINX HOTEL: Carvery from $17 SUTTONS HOUSE OF MUSIC (Ballarat): Phil & Trudy Edgeley

MONDAY 6TH JULY BARWON CLUB: $10 Parmis BENDED: Steak night ELEPHANT & CASTLE: $20 Steak &

Drink night GEELONG RSL: Members Draw, over $3000 in prizes to be won! OLD HEPBURN HOTEL (Hepburn Springs): Parmi night THE SPHINX HOTEL: Meals for $11

TUESDAY 7TH JULY BENDED: Parmi night ELEPHANT & CASTLE: $20 Steak & Drink night GEELONG RSL: Steak Night $13 OLD HEPBURN HOTEL (Hepburn Springs): Parmi night

WEDNESDAY 8TH JULY BABUSHKA BAR (Ballarat): Karaoke THE BARWON HEADS HOTEL: Master of Dartness and Poker from 7pm BEAVS BAR: Open Mic, Karaoke BENDED: Second chance & pub quiz BIRD ROCK: Drink Specials, Ping Pong Challenge ELEPHANT AND CASTLE: Trivia Night from 8pm. Have fun win prizes book a table GEELONG (52 Garden St): No Lights No Lycra GEELONG RSL: Pot and Parmi Night $13 GOLD DIGGERS ARMS: Spinning Wheel and a lot of Parmi’s from $14.50 THE LOFT (Warrnambool): Sealed Our Fate MAX HOTEL: Lukey’s Open Mic Night ODYSSEY TAVERN AND BREWERY: Paddle and Platter Night OLD HEPBURN HOTEL (Hepburn Springs): Roast night PISTOL PETES: Food and Blues

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Mark Ronson FEATURE STORY Written by Abbey King

When people say that Mark Ronson is ‘bringing back the funk’ it’s a somewhat strange concept to him, considering that he has grown up on funk and for him – if you’ve ever caught one of his DJ sets – it has never gone anywhere and has remained the driving force behind his music. His fourth studio album, Uptown Special, has been delighting not only his long time admirers but also attracting a larger mainstream audience – with generations of all ages being able to enjoy his jams. “It’s cool to know that when I was six or seven years old, Duran Duran put out Notorious or David Bowie put out Let’s Dance. You’re just a kid, you listen to pop, you listen to what’s on the radio, so it’s great to think that possibly some young kid out there has been turned on to Rick James or George Clinton or something because they’ve heard Uptown Funk,” Ronson tells me from rehearsals in London. “My friend sent me an email the other day and said his son was like, ‘Daddy I want more music like ‘Uptown Funk’!’

New York raised artist also took out the Brit Award for Best British Single. “It’s pretty crazy, you know that obviously it’s not why you make the music. I make the music because I love it, I love sitting in a room with people that I dig or I’m inspired by and like coming up with something from scratch. That’s like ‘Uptown Funk’, it just came out of a jam at Bruno’s studio one time. To then have it do well or win awards or something it’s amazing, sometimes it’s surreal because it really was – I know this sounds over simplified – but it’s a song that we just made because we love that type of music,” Ronson says. “Don’t get me wrong, I worked on it harder than I’ve ever worked on anything to actually get it to the finish line, so to win something for it is a really lovely thing, but not something you should dwell on too much because it’s not something that I have control over. I can only control us making the best music and put out the stuff that I think is great. That other stuff that comes along with it is amazing but it’s important not to get caught up in it.” Ronson’s album features a string of impressive guests including the likes of Bruno Mars, Andrew Wyatt of Miike Snow, the legendary Stevie Wonder, Australia’s own Kirin J Callinan [guitar solo on ‘Daffodils’] and Kevin Parker of Tame Impala amongst so many others. Ronson retains that he has never had a

he couldn’t really think of anything else new, so started playing him Rick James and now that’s all his boy wants to listen to – so that’s really cool.” Uptown Special has been a world-wide phenomenon breaking records like all-time most streamed track in a single week in the UK for Uptown Funk with a staggering 2.49 million streams. It has reached number one in the UK album chart and number two here in Australia – also achieving gold status in both countries. Earlier in the year the London born,

Fast 5 with MARK RONSON! Worst thing about touring?

I miss my dog, I feel so guilty leaving her behind Best festival food you’ve ever had?

Somebody told me at Splendour you guys have this doughnut, it’s like some famous doughnut that you have to have! Yeah it was Dan and Maz [Fox FM] they were like you HAVE to get these doughnuts, so maybe that will be the best ever, we will see! [Mark is talking about the world famous Byron Bay Organic Doughnuts, drool!] Iggy Azalea or Azealia Banks?

I’m definitely not getting in the middle of that one,

I will say though I have played both ‘Fancy’ and ‘212’ on my DJ set! I’ll just be diplomatic there. Favourite movie soundtrack of all time?

Ah man, I love soundtracks, but what’s my favourite though? Hrmmm, shit! Why am I drawing a blank here, I’m a tiny bit hungover, sorry! Well there’s this great hip hop soundtrack from the ‘90s, this movie called Juice, it’s pretty amazing. If you’re going to pick a song from it, pick a song called ‘Know The Ledge’, by Rakim. Dream collaboration living or dead?

The Notorious B.I.G.

When&Where: Splendour in the Grass, Byron Bay – July 24-26 & & Margaret Court Arena, Melbourne – July 29

singular formula when it comes to his song writing, it is a somewhat organic process whereby a song is brought to life by a twoand-fro of ideas and input. “A lot of my music comes from jams, but like the stuff that I did with Kevin Parker came from us sending demos back and forth – I just had this idea for one song and it grew from there,” he says. Not only does he have a heap of talented friends helping him out on his album, he is bringing a huge guest-list of stars to perform with him at his upcoming Australian shows next month including; Kevin Parker, Daniel Merriweather,

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Andrew Wyatt, Theophilus London and Keyone Starr. “Well, I mean I have to say it takes a bit of hassling on my part. I wish I could say they were all lining up to do it, but I just thought I’ve really got to come out and put on a really good show. I don’t get to come out to Australia very often, it’s always been one of the best places we’ve ever played. You guys have always been supportive of the music and, I think,especially because Kevin Parker is such a huge part of this record – he’s going to be a good part of the show,” he says. “Glastonbury and the Australian shows are the only shows we’re really

doing on this album, with this whole crew of singers and everything. We’ve been rehearing for over four weeks, I’ve never put so much thought into visuals and rehearsing the band and making sure these shows are great. For Glastonbury we have Kevin as well as Daniel Merriweather and a couple of the same people so it’s exciting.” We should certainly count ourselves lucky to not be missing out on such a big act this time, rather we have the exclusive. It’s hard to believe that Ronson has never played a Splendour before now, but that has not been through lack of trying on his behalf.

“Everyone always says, ‘It’s the best festival, you have to play there if you go to Australia’ this is how it’s kind of finally worked out, that we can come out and do it on this album,” he says. The fun does not stop there though, Ronson has also hand-picked a number of premium Aussie acts as his support for the three sideshows who include POND, Tkay Maidza, Yolanda Be Cool and Jones Jr. “Those are all acts that I really like, have done shows with or messed around and made music with like Jay [Watson] from POND – the others I have played on my radio show or just

love. It’s pretty amazing to be in the position to pick your own kind of dream line up. My tastes are kind of eclectic, but I think so are everybodys now. I don’t think anyone wants to go to a show any more and see just one thing, I think everyone likes to spread their music interests across the board,” he says. “I think it was just the fact that these are some of the biggest venues we’ve played and we’ve had the opportunity to put it together. I just wanted to put on a bunch of bands that I really like, but put it into a bit of an experience like how the album is, have an Uptown Special feel to it.”

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Wolf Alice Written by Amanda Sherring

Despite all attempts at trying, pigeon-holing Wolf Alice into a genre is something the media simply won’t be able to do. If anything, the band’s music is a reflection of life in general, there’s no simple formula or pattern – it just is what it is.

“It’s not so much that I find it weird that they try to do it with us, but I find it weird that they do it with any band,” lead singer Ellie Rowsell says. “Quite a few people are like, ‘How come you’ve got such soft songs and then you’ve got such heavy songs?’ Well I don’t go through life always being angry and therefore always writing angry songs. Some days I feel really sad so I write sad songs, sometimes I feel really happy so I write a really happy upbeat songs and other times I feel more introspective so I write something that reflects that. “I guess that’s why you can’t really be pigeon-holed because you’re always influenced by these different things, and I don’t understand why we are pigeon-holed. Wouldn’t it be more interesting to find out why some bands have the same kind of vibe in all of their songs? That would be more interesting to me.” Covering around three years of emotions for Ellie and the band, their debut LP My Love Is Cool fluctuates between in-your-face anger, softly sweet harmonising and thoughtful lyrics of a past life. If there’s one thing that’s constant about the album, it’s that it tells a story of relationships and life in general. One such relationship came from Ellie’s childhood friendship as depicted in

‘Bros’ – the clip also filmed in her hometown where the friendship flourished. “It was especially nice to do it around where I live and where I grew up because now when I watch it I feel, I dunno... like you said, lots of people can relate to it but it’s a lot more personal to me because I recognise that street or that’s the bus I used to take, so it’s really nice,” she says. “I had a friend that lived around the corner from me, but I made it kind of ambiguous – it could be written about anyone. But when I grew up I had this one friend that I walked to school with and we’d go to each others house after school. I guess because she lived around the corner from me I had most of my memories growing up in this place with her.”

When&Where: Corner Hotel, Melbourne – July 23 & Splendour in the Grass, Byron Bay – July 26

In talking with Ellie it soon becomes clear just how important the perception of their band is. How is their music enjoyed live, where does it fall in the industry and, more importantly, what do people think of the band’s overall image? These decisions are deliberated upon by the band, and having accepted an offer to play at Splendour in the Grass, it’s easy to say their reputation is

safe on Australian shores. “These decisions are so important to us because they’re going to reflect on how people see us and not anyone else in the background,” Ellie says. “So we always make sure that we’ve gone through the pros and cons, but I like to think that we seize most of the opportunities that have come our way, because we’re

still a new band and I think that’s the real way that you make mistakes and learn from them. But we don’t take things lightly – we’re serious about what we do.”

Chocolate Starfish Written by Tex Miller

It’s been 12 months since Adam Thompson and Chocolate Starfish came to Geelong to play at the inaugural Motor City Music Festival, and now they’re set to return for a set at the Sphinx Hotel on July 11. This time around however, the band has a new EP out and, like the rest of their discography, it is nothing but sensational. Entitled Primitive, this new release makes the first new material from the band in years and talking about this upcoming run of shows, Thompson is very excited that the band has new material to showcase and to get back out on the road again.

“Straight up mate, I’m going to tell you that it’s fantastic that we finally have some new material we can shop around and show people. It was a long time coming to put it together, because everybody has other things in their lives going on and Starfish isn’t a full time thing anymore. It freshens everything up and it’s a welcome change for us I think,” Thompson said. In 2015, Starfish are getting out and playing gigs to the masses, however, it isn’t like the mid ‘90s when the band were originally together. Throughout the four years that the band were active (‘94-’97), they played around 700 gigs and at one point played 22 shows in a

row. The writing process for piecing together albums, as Adam tells me, is different to 20 years ago. “The writing process between Zoran and I was something that we just did everyday. For Primitive Tim Henwood and I had to fit writing in between our other commitments. Everything from inspiration to finding the right time to write was different. When it was your full time job back in the day, it was easier to set aside time to do it. Everyone now has other jobs and businesses, it’s a little bit of a process to find time to dedicate to Chocolate Starfish.” In 2014 following on from the likes of the Foo Fighters, U2 and Crowded house, the band recorded a wholly acoustic album

When&Where: The Sphinx, North Geelong – July 11

of favourites called Born Again Versions (BAV) with the premise that “If a song can stand the rigours of a rework and still hold up, then hopefully it has the hallmarks of a good song”. If you are headed along to their Sphinx show, you are lucky because you get to experience the Starfish in all their different platforms. “In Geelong we will certainly do a BAV segment and I used to love it when U2 used to do that where they

would bring it down to just acoustic guitars. Crowded House did it as well. I think that this Geelong show is going to be very special for us,” he says. “Most of the members are from Geelong and K-Rock was the first commercial radio station to play our song which was quite a surreal experience let me tell you. It’s been a very gracious city to us and it will be good to get back to play there once again. Come out

Geelong and Rock!” Given that the band aren’t playing six nights a week anymore, take the opportunity to see a legendary Australian outfit, while they’re in town. You won’t regret it.

Tuka Written by Amanda Sherring

Achieving balance in music, let alone in life, is a hard task. But one look at the cover of Tuka’s new album Life Death Time Eternal and, even on first appearance, it seems he’s achieved it. “There’s definitely a natural flow of things on how they balance out but I was definitely aware that I wanted to make it balanced. It was a juggling act right until the very end to get the feelings, messages and emotions that I wanted across – the whole duality thing,” he says. “It was kind of my own measurement – I found balance in different ways. There’s one song called ‘State of Mind’ and the balance in that is where I wanted to make a song where I rapped the chorus’ and sing the versus, because I’d never really heard of a song that did that. Whereas in other songs I listen to the balance comes from irony. I listen to American rappers where they’re objectifying women and I like the sound of that music but I can’t do that myself or represent that myself because I see that women are being objectified.” While at this stage with the album yet to be released, we can only make assumptions on how well measured Tuka’s balance really is. Though ‘Tattoo’, released from the album, is a fine example. Unlike many hip hop songs where women are objectified, this track serves as a thank you. It takes a look at a healthy balanced relationship, and that can only be a good sign for the balance that’s yet to be realised in the remaining tracks. Beyond a balance in his music, Tuka has managed to translate that same balance to his life. Amongst juggling 20 forte

his solo career and place with the Thundamentals, Tuka ensures he maps out time for his other love: skateboarding. “My life pretty much goes in two cycles and it’s either touring or writing. So when I’m writing I skate everyday, but when I’m touring if I roll my ankle skateboarding I can’t jump around like a madman on stage,” he says. “So I get my exercise from that. It’s a sacrifice but I suppose at the end of the day, once it cools down on the touring front, I’m always going to skate. It’s not even about exercise, if I could have been a professional skateboarder I would have been, I would not be rapping.” Even with the breaks taken from writing and skateboarding, Tuka is hardly losing skills. If anything, from writing so

Release: Life Death Time Eternal is out at all good retailers from July 10

much for each project (Tuka and Thundamentals) he’s created a cycle in which he can continuously evolve and develop his music. “A big reason that I like to be writing so much is because I don’t want to be putting my tool down. In song writing – in anything – it’s like riding a bike. You can always write a song or ride a bike but it doesn’t mean you

can use that however you want unless you train it – just like any other muscle,” he says. “So that’s the reason I write so much and when you write that much you can’t help but have leftovers from the last project or things you’ve learnt from the last project to move into the next one, and I don’t see that as a negative at all. Music isn’t this neat thing, it’s this

messy thing that you’re kind of sculpting until the very end and you don’t even know if it’s perfect at the end until maybe years later when people still listen to it.”

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Words & Music by Tully On Tully

A Wonderful Pairing

The lovely indie-pop quintet that makes music by the name of Tully On Tully released their new track, ‘All These Words’, earlier in the year. Teaming up with Tony Buchen, the song is, according to the band, “an exploration of nostalgia; of days past that leave a distinct impression on us. It’s about those times when inhibitions fade and sexuality knows no boundaries, and the realisation that feelings of emptiness will come to shape who you are”. The track is a taste of a new release the band is currently plotting, which unfortunately I have no further information about at this stage. However, if you head down to The Loft in Warrnambool on July 3 you can pester them about it there.

We can’t think of a better pairing than the traditional Indigenous music of Yirrmal with the Irish sound of Aine Tyrrell and you’ll get to experience it thanks to the folk at Ararat Live. It’ll be a night of cultural music education like no other. Head to the Ararat Hotel Red Room on July 8.

One to Rule Them All There was a time when Ja Rule and Ashanti ruled the music world. Ja Rule made his debut with 1999’s Venni Vetti Vecci, an album alluding to the Latin phrase ‘veni, vidi, vici’ meaning ‘I came, I saw, I conquered’. Throughout his golden years, the Hollis, Queens, rapper teamed with the likes of Christina Milian on ‘I’m Real’, Jennifer Lopez on ‘Ain’t it Funny’ and Steven Seagal on Half Past Dead. He also teamed with Ashanti, who will be Ja Rule’s touring buddy. Ashanti released her self-titled debut in 2002, which sold over 500,000 copies in its first week. ‘Foolish’ was a monster track, coming in at #19 in Billboard’s ‘Hot 100 Songs of the Decade’. The Pier, Geelong – July 19.

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Cruel to be Kind There is no slowing down on the music front as we approach the second half of the year with Sydney outfit The Preatures announcing a tour in support of new single, ‘Cruel’. From the band: “We’re super happy to announce our last national tour for 2015. It’s been an incredible year and that’s really down to you for listening and making the shows count.” Theatre Royal, Castlemaine – September 12 & The Karova, Ballarat – September 13. Joining them throughout the 16date run will be Brisbane’s The Creases, while Rolling Blackouts will provide extra support throughout their Vic dates. For now, load up YouTube and get a load of the clip for Cruel.

We All Know One With their swamp-stomp alt-rock, Graveyard Train formed in 2008 as a side project with the aim of sticking to a “horror country” theme. That’s the kind of thing that happens when a few bartenders have a little too much time on their hands. For as good a bartender as they may have been, they made better musicians, and in their first year played over 100 shows. Clocking in at 22 minutes, Takes One to Know One is their latest release. The album was released under their own label, Black Hat Rackets. Although the band launched the label in April 2014, they have been managing their own affairs pretty much since the beginning. The Barwon, Geelong – July 3. It’s not so hard out here for a chain gang.

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have since established themselves as one of the country’s stand-out melodic death metal outfits. Partum Vita Mortem is a concept album which sees the band exploring the human condition through birth, life and death. The Barwon, Geelong – July 30 (with Stormtide and Hollow World); Music Man, Bendigo – August 29 (with Trigger and Requiem); and The Loft, Warrnambool – October 9 (with Hollow World and Spaulding).

A Kiss of Death When the kind of music you want to hear isn’t out there, there is only one thing to do. And so schoolmates Rhys Brennan and Madi O’Shea started playing around with ideas, recruiting Anthony Licciardi and Lucas Veliou along the way. ‘Drowning’ it the debut single from Melbourne outfit The Deadlips, and you can wrap your ears around it at Bendigo’s Music Man on July 16.

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Brendan Welch is the Gleaner The ripping folk at Heart of the Rat have lined up an absolute corker of a show at Ballarat’s Main Bar on July 4, with Mark with the Sea, Brendan Welch, Juan Alban (Epicure) and Freya Hollick set to perform in strippedback mode. The one we are going to focus on is Brendan Welch, who is re-releasing his 2009 Paul Dempseyproduced album The Gleaner. The album followed two EPs and showcased songs written in Northcote, New York and Nashville. The Age’s EG Magazine named it one of the year’s best releases. Brendan: “There was so much careful work put into this thing by myself, Paul Dempsey, and all the great musicians/technicians who were involved, so I’m thrilled that it’s going to be available again after being shelved for so long. I hope people enjoy hearing it again ... or for the first time!” In further good news, Brendan has been working on new material which should see the light of day in 2015. This time he worked with Nick Huggins, who has collaborated with artists and filmmakers including Kid Sam, Hello Satellites, Oscar + Martin, Otouto, Genevieve Bailey and Love Connection. For now, however, it’s time to get reacquainted with his 2009 gem. [Photo by Jamieson Moore]

Nothing Icky About Alpine It takes a brave band to call their album Yuck, but Alpine don’t seem to give a hoot. Co-produced by band guitarist Christian O’Brien and Dann Hume, the newie is the follow-up to 2012’s debut, A is for Alpine. According to the band, Yuck is inspired by Tropicália, which they discovered by listening to the sounds of ’60s and ’70s Latin and South American pop. The Barwon, Geelong – tonight, June 25 & The Karova, Ballarat – June 26.

A Creature & Preacher A dog is a woman’s best friend. Ali Edmonds, the heart and soul of Ali E, may well live and breathe music (she is formerly of bands Little Athletics and Heavy Beach and currently plays bass in Damn Terran), but it is her four-legged companion that seems to inspire her most. This is great news for fans of her music, which has been described as “a ruddy country sound with a post-punk attitude”. Along with her fellow troublemakers Anto Skene and Leigh Ewbank, Ali has come up with Creatures, a six-track release featuring the talents of Anna Gordon (Mangelwurzel), Bez & Guils (Twin Beasts) and Lucy Rash (Tantrums). The Loft, Warrnambool – July 4. She’ll be joined by Cochillia.

Orpheus in the Metalworld In support of album number three, Partum Vita Mortem, heavyhitters Orpheus Omega have announced a lengthy tour. Originally called Orpheus, the band was formed in 2008 as the side project of Chris Themelco and Joao Gancalves. They 24 forte

The Rubens’ Hoop Dreams I hope there is a little room in your life for The Rubens. I know things aren’t always easy. You’ve got to work, take the kids to school, pay bills, do the shopping, and work a little more. And what spare time you do have you use getting angry at comments on forums. Grrr, you can’t say that. That’s a flamin’ outrage that is. I happen to like rainbows, good sir. But it is important that, from time to time, you chillax – yes, that’s right, I am dropping chillax. And here to help you are Menangle’s pride and joy, The Rubens. You probably know about the band’s new single ‘Hallelujah’. And if you do, you probably know about the band’s forthcoming album Hoops (out August 7), too. Frontman Sam Margin: “We put more of a focus on how the songs would work in a live setting for this album. We wanted to write songs that would be fun for us to play live as well as fun for our audience to listen and move to.” The band will take in over 20 dates on their first national tour since 2013. Joining them will be Melbourne alt-soul outfit Saskwatch and Central Coast folkrock duo Winterbourne. Lorne Hotel, Lorne – October 11.

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Anglesea Music Festival At the time of writing, a new day and a new format had been finalised for the return of the Anglesea Music Festival. Unfortunately, that is all the information we have at the moment. However, please hold the line. Your interest is important to us. Someone at Forte will get to you as soon as the information is available. It shouldn’t be too far away. It may even be available now… And to the festival, welcome back. We missed you.

Department of Youths Like a smack in the face from a Smurf, regional Australia was left a little blue when Sydneysiders Gang of Youths announced a national tour that saw them visiting only the bigger cities. But whaddayaknow, the good times have found their way to us now. With their debut full-length album The Positions available for every good boy and girl, the band has every right to be feeling pretty good – especially given they have dedicated a good two years to its recording, not to mention its four-year writing period. Debuting at #5 on the ARIA Chart probably didn’t hurt, either. In this month’s issue of Rolling Stone Australia, Rod Yates ran an interesting story/interview about the crafting of the release. An excerpt reads: “I met these human beings who literally gave their whole lives to satisfy this fucking vision I had,” adds Leaupepe [frontman Dave Leaupepe]. “And very few people in my world can say that. Literally, none of us have any worldly shit because of this album. We lost all our money, we left our homes, we moved to another country, we slept on floors, we were broke.” Tap House, Bendigo – August 27; The Karova, Ballarat – August 28; The Workers Club, Geelong – August 29; and The Loft, Warrnambool – September 1.

And Then He Kissed Me While the likes of Destiny’s Child, TLC and En Vogue were giants of their time, The Crystals were giants of theirs. The first incarnation of the band formed in 1961 and featured Barbara Alston, Mary Thomas, Myrna Giraud, Patricia “Patsy” Wright and Delores “Dee Dee” Kenniebrew. Their first hit was the gospel-influenced ‘There’s No Other (Like My Baby)’, which they soon followed up with ‘Uptown’. 1961 to 1964 were golden years for the girl group, with other hits including ‘He’s Sure the Boy I Love’, ‘He’s a Rebel’, ‘Da Doo Ron Ron (When He Walked Me Home)’ and ‘Then He Kissed Me’. Then He Kissed Me, one of many to involve Phil Spector, is one of the band’s most cherished songs. It was re-worded ‘Then I Kissed Her’ by The Beach Boys, which they released on their 1965 album Summer Days (And Summer Nights!!). In film, the song was used in 1990’s GoodFellas and 1987’s Adventures in Babysitting’. Featuring original member “Dee Dee” Kenniebrew, The Crystals will be performing several Australian shows throughout July and August. The tour will also feature special guest appearances from Dave Somerville (The Diamonds) and Ray Burgess. The Capital, Bendigo – August 5 & The Playhouse @ GPAC, Geelong – August 7.

Regarding Henry and SWHAT With a nod to Bad Brains and Hot Snakes, Ballarat’s SWHAT come bursting through the gate with their aggressive brand of rock-infused punk. Towards the end of November 2013, the band released their debut album, Down in Tango Zulu. For the album, the band took the minimalist approach, restricting themselves to the eight tracks available on the reel-to-reel. It was also recorded and self-produced in their Ballarat home studio. Anyway, because I know you have time on your hands, you should check out the clip for new single ‘Henry (Police Enforcers)’. Along with Melbourne ‘fistcore’ outfit Dixon Cider and local pop-punksters The Shorts, SWHAT storm The Eastern, Ballarat on June 26.

Coupla Days In NSW, around 30 minutes south of Port Macquarie, you will find the town of Bonny Hills. Within its approximate 3000 population lived James and Ciarn Gallagher and schoolyard friend Brent Lockhart. With garage rock in his blood, and Bonny Hills being unable to satiate him, James moved to Melbourne to give the music world a crack. There he met

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some like-minded souls and formed WOD with Drunk Mums’ guitarist Jake Doyle and vocalist Christopher Breeze. Taking up residence in a renovated garage known as the ‘Jungle Den’, sister Gallagher and mate Brent Lockhart soon followed the lead of James. And that is the story of Dumb Punts. Coupla Couplas is their debut. The Eastern, Ballarat – July 3.

Let Off Some Steam, Duckeye They’re a little bit punk. They’re a little bit rock. They’re a little bit metal. And they take it all and add a touch of the funny stuff. However, there is more to I Am Duckeye than music. They are lovers. Last year the band released their second album Commando Too, and right now they’re enjoying spreading new single ‘Hi Viz’. According to an article with the good people at Tone Deaf last year about the album, Hi Viz is the band’s fuzzy pop love song: “It tells the story of two young virgins who are making love in the dark for the first time and really struggling with what they’re meant to do, until one of them puts on a Hi Viz vest and leads the way.” Music Man, Bendigo – July 4.

A Hole in One Tex Perkins and Charlie Owen will do the thing they do best at 2015’s Music to a Tee, the third concert series this year. The popular event raises money for the Karingal Eastern Geelong Community Centre, in particular the Acquired Brain Injury (ABI) Clubhouse that will be located within the Centre. Karingal Foundation Executive Officer Caroline Moore: “Tex and Charlie kicked off the Music to a Tee series in 2014 and are both big supporters of community causes. Karingal is delighted that they are coming

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back for the final concert in the current Music to a Tee series.” Bookings are essential, so hit up 13thbeach. net now. 13th Beach Golf Links – July 3. And remember, swing through the ball.

Drop the Mike Despite working in the corporate world for a good decade, Mike Waters never let the man get him down. You see, he had been toiling away in his bedroom with music – something that, it would seem, remained pretty much unknown to family, friends and work colleagues. When he finally became comfortable with sharing his songs, music industry types were quick to get in his ear. The Melbourne-via-Adelaide working man was soon working new rooms, including a residency at The Espy and supports alongside Jay Brannan and Lewis Watson. His debut EP is Life, which saw the secret songman team with the likes of John Castle, Craig Harnath and Jack Arentz. Babushka Bar, Ballarat – July 2.

You from New Zealand, Mate? Auckland-based singersongwriter Anthonie Tonnon is heading to town in support of his debut solo album, Successor. Tonnon retired Tono and the Finance Company in 2013, a band he formed in the late 2000s in Dunedin. Recorded between and around two full band New Zealand tours, as well as solo tours of the USA and Australia, the majority of the album’s tracks are written as secondperson narratives. One such song, ‘A Friend from Argentina’, is based on Donna Chisholm’s 2012 Metro piece Blow Time, an article about the death of drug mule Sorlinda Vega and how it impacted Auckland’s ‘champagne set’. Give it a read, and give the song and album a spin. The Bridge, Castlemaine – August 8.

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Followed By a Moon Shadow Darren Coggan will reprise his role as Cat Stevens in Peace Train. An award-winning country singer-songwriter who took out the Toyota StarMaker Quest in 1996, the songman’s tribute to the great singersongwriter was a huge hit in 2014. The intimate and acoustic show is as pure as they come, with Coggan performing the songs as they were originally written. Performed songs include ‘Moonshadow’, ‘Morning Has Broken’, ‘Wild World’, ‘Father and Son’, ‘First Cut is The Deepest’, ‘Remember the Days of the Old School Yard’ and ‘Hard Headed Woman’. Drama Theatre @ GPAC, Geelong – July 4. This is a journey back in time, seeking out the man in the music and telling the story behind the songs.

The first lineup for 2015’s Queenscliff Music Festival is in and you’re looking at a whale of a time. And it’s not often I go throwing around the expression whale of a time. Angus & Julia Stone, Hoodoo Gurus, Kate MillerHeidke, Paul Dempsey, John Williamson, Melbourne Ska Orchestra, Robert Forster, Harts, Kingfisha, Oka, Ainslie Wills and Hey Frankie are the first of what are sure to be many wonderful guests. Festival Director Andrew Orvis: “We’re really concentrating on getting the balance right for our punters. It’s all about quality music, great shows, comfy surrounds, yummy food and drinks, in beautiful historic Queenscliff and all right on the shores of Port Phillip Bay.” Queenscliff – November 27-29.

So Fierce Aside from doing shows alongside Pretty City, Twin Haus and Flyying Colours, Fierce Mild are setting off on tour for the fiercest of shows around (pardon the pun). They'll be hitting up Stargazed: In Search of Lost Time in Brunswick on July 4, Music Man Mega Store in Bendigo on August 15, The Bridge in Castlemaine on August 21 and The Eastern in Ballarat on August 22. If you like your music heavy on the rock with a side of shoe-gaze, this is your kind of band.

Riding Free With an album on the way (out July 17) and a few shows coming up, everything seems to be happening the Tex Perkins & Dark Horses world. They’ll be hitting up The MEMO Music Hall in Melbourne on August 1 and Tex Perkins will pair up with Charlie Owen for a special dinner show at the 13th Beach Golf Links on July 3. Giddy up!

The Trivia Saint

The Race is On In late 1983, Hugo Race joined ex-The Birthday Party Nick Cave in his new venture Nick Cave: Man or Myth?, a band that would become known as The Bad Seeds. He would later form The Wreckery with Edward Clayton-Jones. Then there is Hugo Race and The True Spirit, a “freewheeling fraternity of like-minded free spirits with a shared love of psychedelic rock and roots music” since 1989. At the end of last month the band released their first album in seven years, The Spirit. From the band: “We built a studio in a house out on the city’s edge to slowly develop the songs at our own speed with no pressure. We’d never had the luxury before of playing new songs live before recording them. When we felt the time was right, we taped a lot of the final album with Idge at his Soundpark Studio, capturing our sound with ambient mics and vintage processors. But the vibe of that house and the all-night recording sessions with the background buzz of cicadas and the homemade instruments in the tool shed, it’s all still there. We wanted to create a definitive album for The True Spirit and took our sweet time about it. This record is it.” The Eastern, Ballarat – August 14 & The Bridge, Castlemaine – August 15

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Remember that cool trivia thing, that was happening at Strasse bar? Pub Werewolf? Well it’s back, just with a slightly new setting. Now running from Saint Regis Food & Wine Bar, it’s trivia just not how you know it. The next dates are Thursday July 9 and August 13, for more dates and the rules visit pubwerewolf.com. Time to buff on your random facts and general knowledge!

Gentle Ben Salter He is a founding member of Giants of Science, The Gin Club and the two-time ARIA-nominated Wilson Pickers and has written over 200 songs and performed on 30-odd albums, so it’s safe to say Ben Salter has a bit to say. And we’re pretty cool with that. He is no stranger to the solo world, either, having recently released his second fulllength album, The Stars My Destination. The album saw him decamp to Prior Park, the cattle property in central Queensland, the home of the last three Gin

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Club recordings. Taking shape over seven days, Salter was joined by fellow ’Clubbers Adrian Stoyles and Gus Agars, as well as Dan Luscombe (Paul Kelly, The Drones). The Eastern, Ballarat – July 11.

Let’s Get Naked When the colour faded in Little Red, Quang Dinh continued his musical mission in Naked Bodies. With influences including Leonard Cohen and Charles Bukowski, Quang formed the band in 2012, putting a greater focus on lyrics, musical dynamics and development of mood. Regarded as one of the country’s most electrifying acts, the band recently dropped their debut, Piranha. Rolling Stone Australia: “Piranha is an unrestrained genre orgy, serving not only as an abrupt reaction to the formulaic functions of its director’s previous work, but a vigorous argument for the entertainment value earned from a wilful embracement of wild variation.” The Bridge, Castlemaine – July 4.

The Jury is In A simple life can be a good life. Following 30 years in Sydney, journeyed songman Wayne Jury returned to Geelong. It has been a colourful ride so far. He has played thousands of gigs in all corners of Australia, opening for blues greats including Robert Cray, Albert Collins, Canned Heat and Buddy Guy as well as supporting the very best Australia has to offer including AC/DC, Ayres Rock, Little River band, Buffalo, Cold Chisel, Dragon and Hush. There was also that time he joined an ill-fated glam rock band in Melbourne. And the time he was robbed at knifepoint in Melbourne. Lousy Melbourne! He is one of the country’s finest bluesmen. Pistol Pete’s, Geelong – June 27.

Commissioner Mick Thomas In 2012, at Billboard the Venue (now 170 Russell) as part of the Melbourne Age Hall of Fame induction, Mick Thomas made the announcement that the curtain was finally closing on Weddings Parties Anything. It was the close on a journey that began in 1984 when Thomas formed the first incarnation of the band with original drummer Dave Adams. However, more music was to be made. Featuring Mark Wallace, aka Squeezebox Wally, on piano accordion and a rotating roster of first-rate talent, Mick Thomas and The Roving Commission is another round of drinks with an old friend. Alexandra Oval Function Centre, Ararat – August 24. Mick released a solo album in 2012 called Last of the Tourists.

Welcome to the Mane Event The information is starting to flow regarding this year’s Mane Event. For those unfamiliar, the Mane Event is an annual get-together at Geelong’s Barwon

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Club to raise awareness for mental health issues. Proudly supported by the Lions Club, profits go to the fantastic organisation that is headspace Geelong (headspace.org.au). The team is thrilled to announce that The Badloves will be performing at 2015’s gig. Formed by Michael Spiby in 1990, the band won three ARIA awards in 1994 on the back of their debut, Get on Board. Keep a sharp eye on facebook.com/ TheManeEventGeelong for further information. Keep an eye on your mates, too. The Mane Event takes place on October 10.

One Week at a Time He gets around, does funnyman Damian Callinan. In 2009, Damian was commissioned by Regional Arts Victoria and Vic Health to write a show that would tackle racism within regional communities. The show he created was The Merger, a play that revolves around Bodgy Creek Roosters Football Club, the fictional club he created in his award-winning Sportsman’s Night. With Bodgy Creek facing tough times, the local footy club is struggling to field a full side. There is talk of a merger with arch rivals, but coach Troy Carrington wants none of that. What’s a man to do but embark on a program to recruit players from the Asylum Seekers Refugee Centre? Lighthouse Theatre, Warrnambool – July 10 & July 11.

Holy Serpent Are Doomed Raise your hand if you like to drink and get high and listen to music. Just what I thought, you can’t be arsed. That’s cool, just read. Or have someone else read it to you. The guys of Melbourne’s Holy Serpent like to drink and get high and listen to music. That’s why they formed a psychedelic doom outfit. They’ve only been in business since mid-2014 but they have already coughed up their self-titled debut. The band even made it to the pages of Metal Hammer, who wrote: “Melbourne stoner crew channel their inner Kyuss with this resinous sludge fest, oozing with thick riffs, iceberg-paced tempos and fuzzy melodic foraging.” The Newmarket, Bendigo – July 4 & The Eastern, Ballarat – July 18.

Let’s Get Loud In the (sort of ) words of Maria McKee: ‘Oh, show me seven, cover me. Leave me breathless. Oh, show me seven, please’. Just like Maria McKee, you’ll be shakin’ just like the breeze when you get a load of Live N’ Loud at Bendigo’s Music Man early next month. Yep, seven of the best are coming your way in Viper Love, Lazarus Mode, Jurassic Nark, Blind Eye, Mudslide, Lowpoint and Release the Hounds. High energy, hard ’n’ fast, in-yourface rock and roll is how Lazarus Mode go about their business. In February 2014, the band released

The Golden Fields of KLP Touring is more fun when you have good people touring with you, as KLP seems to be discovering. The Sydney DJ, producer and host of triple j’s House Party, who by day goes by the name Kristy Lee Peters, is hitting the road for another co-headlining tour, this time with Ballarat synth-pop wonders Gold Fields. It will be a chance for fans to not only hear Gold Fields’ new track ‘Lakeside’ in a live environment, but also to check out the KLP/Gold Fields collaborative track ‘Make Me Feel’. You may also remember that KLP released a remix of Gold Fields’ single ‘Hold Me’, the original version of which featured in House Party’s ‘Top 10 Tracks for 2014’. The Karova, Ballarat – July 3. their debut EP, Ignite. It has been featured on radio stations throughout Australia, the US, the UK and Canada. Music Man, Bendigo – July 3.

A Pool of Talent Crowdfunding enabled singer-songwriter Melody Pool to record her debut album, The Hurting Scene, in Nashville – a big dream, and a big gamble, which paid off. The daughter of country musician Alby Pool, Melody began singing on stage with her father as a nine-year-old. At 12 she was learning guitar, and by 14 she was playing regular gigs in a band. When it came to the crowdfunding, the songbird set a modest target of $5000. By the end she had more than doubled that. She also co-produced the album and released it on her own label. Melody will wind up a small batch of shows at Babushka Bar, Ballarat on July 17 before using the second half of the year to record her follow-up album.

Spray Paint Your Wagon The stars at night are big and bright, deep in the heart of Texas. The prairie sky is wide and high, deep in the heart of Texas. You know what else is alright in Texas? Music, ya’ll. With their “paranoid art punk”, Spray Paint are delivering their tunes to Australian crowds for the first time. And they’ll have a nice collection of tunes when they do so, with the band, whose members hail from projects including When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth, Expensive Shit and Dikes of Holland, having released album number four,

Punters on a Barge. The Barwon, Geelong – June 28. I reckon there’s a good chance you’ll find some helpful friends performing on the night as well. The sage in bloom is like perfume…

An Ace in the Pack Rockers and rollers in Castlemaine, the Black Aces are coming for you. Driven by the mighty sounds of AC/DC, Rose Tattoo, Billy Thorpe and The Aztecs, The Angels and Cold Chisel, the band captures the sound that put the Australian music scene on the map. With an album set for release before the year is out, the band is warming up with the release of single ‘Soulstealer/ Hard Luck’. The Bridge, Castlemaine – June 26.

Metal from a Land Down Under In 2013, Metal-Roos was founded as a way to promote Australia’s metal scene. On October 10, Bendigo’s home of metal, Music Man, will host the local leg of Metal United Down Under, an event which unites 20 promoters, 17 Australian cities, eight Australian states/territories and 14 media partners on the same night. Bendigo bands include Cement Pig, Evil Intent, Dead Light District, Chase the Ace, Obscure and Necron 99.

Who Let the Gigs Out? Good question, Baha Men. Last month they joked around with Clowns, and now hometown

heartthrobs Max Goes to Hollywood return to The Loft, Warrnambool on June 26 with their partystyle pop punk. GodWolf tackle The Karova in Ballarat on July 11. The Eastern, Ballarat will host Argentina’s Blien Vesne early next month, July 5. The band formed in 2008 out of La Plata, Buenos Aires, with the purpose of sharing the miracle of Christ. Howqua launches his single ‘Her’ at Geelong’s Beav’s Bar on Sunday, June 28. The Riverboats Music Festival announces its 2016 line-up on September 14. Bendigo’s Blues Tram welcomes Alawishus Jones and friends on July 11, with information through bendigotourism.com. Soul Safari and Tank Dilemma have teamed up for a spiritlifting show at The Loft, Warrnambool on July 17.

Off On a Tangent Now even more people will be able to enjoy the sounds of Megan Washington with the songbird announcing a big ol’ national tour throughout August and September. The 26date Tangents tour will take in all corners of Australia, with Washington offering strippedback intimate performances. Before all that, she has a date with Splendour in the Grass. Via her Facebook: “26 intimate shows across every state and territory of Australia. I can’t wait to see and play for you all again.” The Bridge, Castlemaine – August 19; Music Man, Bendigo – August 20; The Karova, Ballarat – August 21; and The Barwon, Geelong – August 26. 2014 saw the release of Washington’s There There album.

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For a long time it was believed that only students, unemployed people and all-round money crunchers were the only ones on the hunt for affordable eating options, but that’s no longer the case - everyone is looking for value when dining out. Sure, fine dining is an unbelievable experience, but when it comes to meals with friends during the week, a quick bite out when the pantry’s empty and just all-round good ol’ fashioned value, everyone is on the lookout for an affordable menu or deals for meals. But lets face it, with cafes and restaurants opening every week in Geelong and surrounds (at least it feels that way) finding the perfect spot can be a lot harder than it seems. Let me introduce to you our Cheap Eats guide, a feature that does all the hard work for you. Over the next 18 pages Forte Magazine will shine a light on some of the best well-priced eateries the region has to offer. And when we say ‘Cheap Eats’ that doesn’t mean a loss of quality, we’re not talking greasy fast food options, we’re talking about delicious snacks you can get on the run, would be happy to eat at a leisurely pace on your lunch break or bring some friends with you to enjoy. We’ve engaged a number of restaurants, cafe and food joints and on our hunt, we’ve realised that there’s much more than just a quick $4 sandwich on offer. Instead, there’s mouth watering burgers, healthy treats and hearty meals that won’t break the budget. So it’s time to close your Google search, throw those 2-minute noodles in the bin and tear up that budget book as the hunt for good quality food at reasonable prices is over. No one likes to live a life of counting money, microwave meals and bland take out – and that’s a fact.

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GROVEDALEHOTEL

GROVEDALEHOTEL.COM.AU PHONE. 1300GROVEDALE (1300 476 833) WEB.

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The Barwon Club 509 Moorabool St, South Geelong 5221 4584 / barwonclub.com.au

The Barwon Club has long been a go to destination for the traditional pub experience in Geelong, since it was first opened in the early ‘90s. While the venue keeps the beer flowing and the good quality vibes, their extensive menu is often overlooked. Much of the venues success can be pinned on owner Greg Dodds, who has been around since the early days ensuring patrons glasses are kept full and all plates are licked clean. Head chef Adrian Tozer also plays a key role in this, and has been serving up top quality pub meals for the past 12 months. The BC prides itself on its menus affordability, and one that doesn’t skimp on quality. Each day locals can grab a lunch from the $12 menu or come dinner time can get a Parmi on Sunday or Monday night for $12 or one of the varying specials options of fish of the day, curries or braised beef cheek. Aside from the regular deals, the menu has many outstanding meal options. For only $15 you can grab the BC burger, which is loaded with beef, bacon, egg, tomato, beetroot, lettuce and relish, then served with golden fries. Though head chef Adrian recommends the American pork spare ribs, which basted in house made smokey BBQ sauce, makes it one of the more flavour packed options on the menu. After around 20 years, the iconic Geelong venue still manages to serve up fresh cheap food, while keeping the bands pumping the tunes on stage at regular gigs and the beer flowing from the taps. On a Saturday night the vibe is unlike any other, and one you have to experience for yourself.

The Belmont Hotel

Blue Door Espresso

77 High Street, Belmont / 03 5243 2802 belmonthotelgeelong.com.au

Shop 2A 105 Skene St facebook.com/bluedoorespresso

Blue Door Espresso is a new cafe located in the nooks and crannies of Newtown. It is well known that the crew behind Blue Door are strong supporters of the local music scene and they wanted to show their true colours. It was decided they wanted to let the musicians of Geelong create their very own band burgers. Local bands have been invited to customise their own sumptuous burger that the café then make and sell it to the masses. The band has its very own burger mascot for the week and can

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sell CD’s from the café. The first offering was the ‘Forte Burger’ which is an ode to Geelong’s Music Mag that you are reading right now. It features double chicken, double cheese, bacon, lettuce, sweet chilli mayo and a hash brown on a born and bread brioche bun. Be sure to pay Blue Door a visit, fill your bellies and support Geelong’s music scene.

The Belmont Hotel have just launched their brand new winter menu in both the bistro and the bar and let me tell you it is it finger lickin’ good featuring all their famous favourites as wells as a number of great value speciality dishes. Options to share include all the regular suspects as well as Tostadas, Croquettes, Nachos and Chilli Prawns and start at just $7 per serve. The Burger menu includes Pork, Beef and Chicken options and start $16 served with chips. Pub Classics are from just $15 including Parmis, Fish and Chips, Porterhouse Steak, Lasagne, Pork Ribs and more. A few exciting new dishes as well as some of the Belmont specialities including Thai Beef Salad, Pumpkin and Goats Cheese Arancinis and wells as some sandwiches, stirfrys and salads. Parmi nights are a must of an Monday night with Parmi’s from around the world. Lunchtime specials are available Monday to Thursday with all meals coming with a free soft drink or $1 pot of Carlton. The kids eat free on a Tuesday and Wednesday in the

bistro with an adult meal. We don’t just love the Belmont for the food, but it also has some of the best atmosphere getting around! With live music of a Friday and Saturday night featuring some of the most talented local musicians as well as the best rooftop terrace in town for those sunny afternoons drinks. Inside features open fires with two function spaces available, the ‘Lounge’ caters for up to 60 people and the ‘Belmont’ for up to 120 people, there is no minimum bar spend and free hire on Sundays.

The Clarendon 378 La Trobe Terrace, Newtown 5221 2526 / clarendongeelong.com.au Wednesday-Sunday from 5pm; Saturday-Sunday from 11.30am

Bird Rock 1 Stuart Ave, Jan Juc / 5261 5590 birdrockcafe.com.au / Weds-Thurs 4pm-12am; Fri 3pm-1am; Sat 8am-1am; Sun 8am-11pm

There are few eateries located as perfectly as Bird Rock in Jan Juc is. Sitting right alongside one of the best surf beaches in the Surf Coast, the venue caters to surfers, families and everyone in between. With new owners this year, the notorious restaurant and beach bar has since been reinvented and has even bigger plans for the future. Aside from the quirky fit out inside, featuring surfing memorabilia, vintage finds and a lamp feature ceiling, the changes have also extended to the menu. Now offering up brunch on weekends (from 8am3pm) visitors can get the breakfast classics with a shot of something stronger on the side if you’re up for it. If you are, be sure to order ‘The Dirty Sanchez’, a full breaky with eggs, saute buttered mushrooms, mexican beans, grilled vine tomatoes, crispy bacon, char-grilled corn and avocado salsa all served with a Bloody Mary on the side. As well as opening up on the weekends for brunch, the venue also offers a Mexican night on Thursday

with a rotating menu to keep things fresh and exciting and to give you the chance to indulge in all that Mexican cuisine has to offer. Of course, if you don’t feel like eating Bird Rock is open late from Wednesday to Sunday, so bring your friends and relax at one of the best venues this side of Geelong.

It’s hard to get better than a delicious feed that’s easy on the wallet, but at the Clarendon getting better is simply in a days work. In 2013 the pub became the first in Australia to set up a drive-through chicken parmi service and, clearly with customers in mind, have introduced a home delivery service on its menu. Beyond getting just a parmi and chips delivered to the comfort of your home (just think of the petrol you’ll save) the delivery service has been extended to the whole menu. That means a meaty lasagne, gourmet steak sandwich or Thai pork and prawn salad could all make its way to your door. From the same door that you can pick up your parmi, the Bean Bandit also offers up drive through coffee and is open 7 days a week. So you can get your coffee and parmi fix at the same time. Aside from the convenience of a new home delivery service, the Claro (as it’s affectionately known by locals) still offers one of the friendliest and comfortable places to eat in Geelong. Conveniently located on La Trobe Terrace, the venue has a big focus on being family friendly, with a kids theatre room and the biggest playground in Geelong located at the restaurant. If you’ve got kids, having a relaxing night out has been made possible thanks to the Clarendon. As for food, there’s no question of quality or variety as the menu boasts several entree options, mains, salads, pizzas and pasta dishes – whatever you’re craving, the Clarendon have it covered.

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The Lord of the Isles Tavern 3 West Fyans Steet, South Geelong 5224 2522 / lordislestavern.com

The Bush Inn 58 Corio St, Geelong / 5229 5194 thebushinnhotel.com.

You could be mistaken to think that you have been transported to some good old country pub, but have the convenience of being in the heart of town, surrounded by all of the local night-life! Luke and Adam Richardson invite you to their quality restaurant, cosy public bar and one of the finest beer gardens in the CBD. The warm atmosphere is ideal for those winter days, a few drinks and a even a bet on their TAB facilities. The pub boasts a large selection of great value quality dishes, you won’t be disappointed with the menu at The Bush Inn! From your traditional pub food, to the more speciality dishes with an array of salads, pastas and risottos and a whopping 6 different steaks to choose from! They have three speciality nights, $13.50 Steak Night on Tuesday, $12 Burger Nights on Wednesday and $12.50 Parmi Night on Thursday as well as a roast of the day available for just $15.00, bookings are encouraged as they fill up fast. Lunch specials are also now available ranging from $9- $13.00 including a number of burgers a pub favourites, you are certainty spoiled for choice! The Bush Inn is located at 58 Corio St, Geelong VIC 3220, just off the bay end of Moorabool Street. Call them on (03) 5229 5194 check out their menu online at www.thebushinnhotel.com.

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Caruggi 66 Little Malop Street, Geelong 03 5229 6426

Geelong’s newest rustic Northern Italian Restaurant, Caruggi has the whole town buzzing. Situated on the thriving Little Malop Street this beautifully renovated space is the perfect place for a delicious lunch, romantic dinner with someone special or atmospheric supper with friends. Owners Amanda and Massimiliano Magnani have created an authentic menu busting with options. The starers are a must, grab one for yourself or share with the table, featuring traditional meats, seafood and salads. Trying to select a main could prove difficult, there is a mouth-watering selection of pastas and risottos including a ‘Papadelle al ragu’, Lemon Seafood Laganelle’ and ‘Chianti Risotto’ to name just a few. Pizzas are made from gourmet ingredients, cooked on stone. Lunch specials are also available and start from just $13. We recommend booking a table to avoid disappointment. Kitchen hours from 11.30 and 8.30 Monday to Saturday.

The Lord of the Isles is situated just down from Geelong’s iconic Simmond’s Stadium and is a must do for any sports fan! They offer a number of diverse dining options, from the finer dining option in Bernie’s Bistro, to the Courtyard and Gaming Room experience, you will be sure to find something for everyone at this legendary Geelong venue. Bernie’s Bistro is open 7 days a week from 11.30am to late with all day dining, whether you wish to indulge in their full menu or dine alfresco. Bernie’s has won over 30 different awards at regional, state and national level, and on three occasions has been been voted best bistro in Australia. Enjoy the elegant yet relaxed atmosphere Bernie’s has to offer whilst you indulge in the extensive menu. The Lord of the Isles Tavern now has an exciting new look and feel in its Courtyard and Bistro Bar area, with a stunning modern style that blends, lighting, furniture, flooring, & décor bringing style and comfort to the space. Oh and we have to mention ‘that screen’, relax in the Courtyard area and watch all the top sporting events LIVE on Fox on quite possibly the largest plasma screen you have ever seen TAB facilities are also available! The menu boasts all of you favourites and portion sizes are more than generous and will set you back no more that $13.00 a pop! They also have a number of sharing options available too! The menu is available in the courtyard Monday to Saturday 11.30am - 4.30pm and Thursday 11.30am – late. The Courtyard also plays host a hilarious pub quiz each Thursday night, get a team together and enjoy the nights festivities with a weekly jackpot prize as well as some other spot prizes!

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Ambrosia On Pako 208A Pakington Street, Geelong 03 5229 2725 ambrosiaonpako.com

Barwon Club 509 Moorabool St, South Geelong 03 5221 4584 barwonclub.com.au

Belmont Hotel 77 High St, Belmont 03 5243 2802 belmonthotelgeelong.com.au

Bird Rock 1 Stuart Ave, Jan Juc 03 5261 5590 www.birdrockcafe.com.au

Blue Door Espresso 2A/105 Skene Street, Newtown 03 5221 7281 www.bluedoorespresso.com.au

The Bush Inn 58 Corio St, Geelong / 03 5229 5194 thebushinnhotel.com

Caruggi 66 Little Malop St, Geelong 03 5229 6426 facebook.com/caruggilittlemalop

The clarendon hotel 378 LaTrobe Tre, Newtown 03 5221 2526 www.clarendongeelong.com.au

Cucina One12 110-112 High St, Belmont 03 5243 0333 www.cucinaone12.com.au

Gateway Hotel 218-230 Princess Hwy, Corio 03 5275 1091 thegatewayhotel.com.au

Geelong RSL 50 Barwon Heads Rd, Belmont 03 5241 1766 geelongrsl.com.au

Gold Diggers Arms 87 Skene St, Newtown 03 5221 5441 www.golddiggersarms.com.au

Grovedale Hotel 236 Surfcoast Hwy, Grovedale 03 5243 2814 www.grovedalehotel.com.au

Lord Of The Isles Tavern 3-7 West Fyans Street 03 5224 2522 www.lordislestavern.com

The Max 2 Gheringhap St, Geelong 03 5229 5504 www.maxhotelgeelong.com.au

Mexican Graffiti 43 Yarra St, Geelong 03 5222 2036 www.mexicangraffiti.com.au

Odyssey Tavern & Brewery 611 Surfcoast Hwy, Mt Duneed 03 5264 1333 odysseytavernandbrewery. com.au

Pistol Pete’s Food ‘n’ Blues 93A Lt Malop St, Geelong 03 5221 0287 facebook.com/ pistolpetesfoodnblues

Three Two One Eight 196 Shannon Ave, Geelong West 0402 756 038 www.threetwooneate.com.au

Zambrero Shop 8, Pakington Strand, 95-103 Pakington St, Geelong West 03 5221 5595 www.zambrero.com forte 35

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Cucina One 12

The Gold Diggers Arms

112 High Street, Belmont / 5243 9561 cucinaone12.com.au

Whether you are looking to have a romantic dinner for two or enjoy a night out with friends and family, Cucina One12 has you covered. Bringing modern Italian cuisine to Geelong, the venue offers a huge range of traditional and gourmet Italian pizzas and pastas as well as a full Al La Carte menu. Conveniently located on Belmont’s busy High street, Cucina One12 caters for all dining experiences with ease - Take away, Delivery, Functions and Family Dining. At the moment, Cucina One12 have a lunch menu running which provides a convenient option for the easy and affordable price of $11.90. They also have an irresistible evening special which consists of a two-course Dinner for $30 and three-course for $35

Gateway Hotel 218-230 Princess Hwy, Corio 52751091 / Daily 8am-4am

What is better than great food? Lots of it! With their all you can eat buffet priced from $22, the Gateway Hotel Feast has to be one of the best value venues in town. But it doesn’t end there. The venue also boasts a family-friendly atmosphere where the

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87 Skene St, Newtown / 5221 5441 golddiggersarms.com.au

running for 6 nights a week from 5.30pm. Cucina One12 and their beautiful Italian cuisine caters for everyone and every occasion. The must try item on the menu? The Seafood Spaghetti. The menu caters for all dietary requirements be it vegetarian or gluten free, they can do.

little ones are always welcome. Our Club 4 Kids is free to join with many great benefits including Kids Eat Free Wednesday and Thursday nights and our monthly theme parties and competitions. From Monday to Friday the Family Deal comes in at the bargain price of $55 for two adults and up to three kids. The venue also regularly hosts first-class entertainment from some of the country’s finest musos. In a nutshell, the Gateway Hotel is high on value. Licensed venue. Function room also available.

The Gold Diggers Arms, affectionately known as ‘Diggers’ has rightfully established itself as one of Geelong’s leading pubs when it comes to service and cuisine. A mini makeover has left the place looking lavish whilst maintaining its friendly and relaxed atmosphere. Whether you’re after a speciality dish in the restaurant, a pub favourite in the public bar or even some afternoon drink in the sun, the Diggers has something to suit all needs. You’re spoiled for choice when it comes to the menu – with all the pub favourites like cheeseburgers, chicken parmi’s, fish and chips and steaks covered. Monday and Tuesday nights are speciality night at the Diggers you can get a rump steak or chicken parmi for just $14! If you’re in the area for lunch, look no further with the Diggers $10 lunch specials in the bar from 12-3pm everyday. Digger’s functions are famous, their newly renovated ‘Atticus Room’ is perfect for a whole range of different occassions and they can tailor the event to suit your every need. Wednesday nights are now Trivia Night, with a number of great prizes and giveaways up for grabs as well as drink specials, get a team together and book ahead. The Gold Diggers Arms is open daily from 11am to 11pm daily.

Odyssey Tavern & Brewery 611 Surfcoast Hwy, Mt Duneed / 5264 1333 odysseytavernandbrewery.com.au

Grovedale Hotel Sports Bar and The Juke Garden Bar 236 Torquay Rd, Grovedale / 03 5243 2814 grovedalehotel.com.au

Located on the Torquey Highway the Spacious Grovedale Hotel is a mainstay on Geelong’s Pub roster . Sometimes dipping out for a bite to eat on a Friday night can be a costly exercise, but at the Grovedale Hotel you needn’t worry. With affordable dishes that don’t skimp on quality, and 85 inch HD TVs to watch the footy, dining at this venue is the best place for a much-needed break from home. While there’s no designated nights to get your steak or Parmi on, there are regular meal specials to give you bang for your buck. As manager Joel Taylor states, each meal is made fresh in the kitchen with nothing coming from a packet. The menu features American style sandwiches and burgers, Asian stirfries and rice dishes, and the pub classics no sports bar would be seen without. Whilst the bistro offers enormous dining space and incredible value, your options for affordable eating areas have recently doubled at the Grovedale – have you heard about The Juke?. The Juke is the new front bar area at the Grovedale Hotel which has a in an open-air garden bar with a retractable roof, a

rustic design and a welcoming atmosphere. The Juke serves up Live music, craft beers and US-influenced bar food – from ribs to southern-style chicken all at bar prices. There are also delicious share plates from $8 that are available all day 7 days a week. Friday and Saturday bar meals til 10pm. As a whole, If there’s anything that Joel can assure us of, it’s the high quality delivered in each dish and without the exclusive price tag. “The sports bar at the Grovey and the Juke offers top quality food at value prices! Our prices are mostly under $20 and some of the best bar meals in town,” Joel says.

There are few venues that can say they dish up quality and affordable meals with a glass of beer or cider from one of many quality craft breweries Australia wide, including their own. Odyssey Tavern and Brewery does this and so much more and has been for over 3 ½ years influencing the local beer and food scene in the process. The Odyssey offers a high quality menu all made fresh in house including lighter sharing options through to more substantial options for those who are feeling particularly hungry including a 20 hour slow cooked spiced lamb shoulder. The Pizza menu is substantial & prepared using only the highest quality ingredients on top of fresh tasty bases from our experienced chefs family recipe! There’s also a variety of snacks including the Odyssey wings, dips, house cut chips and garlic and cheese bread, for the grazers out there. The creations from the kitchen compliment the limited release and seasonal beers and ciders that are on offer at the venue, and the great value is matched with a beer tasting paddle which includes 6x100ml tasters for only $14! The Crafty Burger Menu is offered every Wednesday & Thursday night showcasing an awesome range of house made burger options. Match your favourite burger with a pot of craft beer/ cider or fries for only $20! While The Odyssey has quality and affordable meals on their minds, the venue also caters for allergies and dietary requirements including gluten free and vegetarian options. With free live music also a key feature of the venue, The Odyssey surpasses the tag of being just another food venue and instead becomes its own destination. The Odyssey offers a casual, unique and warm environment for all to enjoy! Make it your meeting place!

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Mexican Graffiti

93A Little Malop Street, Geelong / 5221 0287 pistolpetesfoodnblues.com.au

43 Yarra St, Geelong / 03 5222 2036 mexicangraffiti.com.au

GEELONG RSL 50 Barwon Heads Road, Belmont / 03 5241 1766 Lunch 12noon - 2pm, Dinner 6pm -8pm, 7 days a week

Good, tasty family fare in a relaxed environment is what the Geelong RSL is all about. Sunday the RSL’s $13 Roast is a real winner. Lamb, Pork or Chicken served with roast potato, pumpkin, carrots, seasonal greens and traditional gravy, it’s better than a home cooked meal and the bonus without the clean-up. Tuesday’s special is Steak Night, where a 200g ‘fillet’ steak is only $13, there are also a couple of other great specials including their $9.00 lunch specials for members, $10.00 for non-members. Wednesday the $13 Parma and Pot night is also very popular because everyone loves a Parma.

Non-members are of course very welcome at the RSL and have full access to the venue’s facilities including TAB and keno. Anyone however can become a member of the Geelong RSL. There’s plenty of parking (150 spots) as well which is a massive plus. It doesn’t hurt that they throw in some top-notch entertainment either. Make sure you keep an eye out for their meal and show packages; they’re usually awesome. Looking for a venue to book a function? With a large function room complete with a fully-serviced bar and kitchen, the Geelong RSL has you covered whatever the occasion. In a nutshell, the Geelong RSL is the perfect venue for eating out with family or friends, visit today. We are a nice safe, family environment with a dedicated kid’s area, a manned reception and great meal and show nights once a month. Come and see why the Geelong RSL is better than ever and all are welcome!

THE MAX hotel

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Mexican Graffiti is more than just a restaurant now days. Established in 1982 in the heart of the city, it now offers banquet menus for large functions, cinema dine-out packages and gift vouchers, it also offers the opportunity to try Mexican food at an entry level. Mexican Graffiti still has Californianstyle choices and the full range classic Mexican flavours. Customers can relax in friendly family atmosphere and enjoy a quiet bite to eat or takeaway, every day of the week from 11am until late. Their menu has absolutely everything you could ask for in a Mexican restaurant and more! There’s a heap of additional options to choose from from steaks to parmis, lasagne and even seafood! How to choose just one? Taco Tuesdays are a must, you can get a selection of 3 taco’s for just $10.00 this includes all meat, fish and vegetarian options. Better still they now have available a very special brew labelled ‘Taco’ from Two Birds Brewing in the US, the perfect beverage to complement those golden pockets of deliciousness! Frozen Margaritas are also available, and large range of local and imported beers, as well as a wellestablished ranges of wines.

Pistol Pete’s Food N Blues is the only place in Geelong where you can taste, smell, hear and feel like you’re somewhere in the South of The USA without the costly travel expenses! Drawing from the strong passions for both Blues Music & the cuisine of the Southern States, owner and chef Pete Raimondo travelled Highway 61, taking in the smells, flavours, music and hospitality of the food & people of the South and has brought it back to Geelong. The Menu consists of three sections. ‘In Ya Hand’ a choice of Burgers & Po Boys, from the Southern Chicken BLT to a Shrimp Po Boy & the Mojo Burger. ‘On Ya Plate’ includes a choice of the tender Pulled Pork or Southern Style Chicken and your our choice of 3 sides. The N’Awlins Taster Plate & the Gumbo, take your taste buds to the flavours and smells of the Big Easy. A range of ‘Vittles & Sides’ are great for something to nibble while listening to some great live music and enjoying some of the local craft beers from Southern Bay & Prickly Moses, some local & regional wines will complete your visit. Vegetarian options availabile too including Southern Style Tofu Burger or Jambalaya with Okra and many others, gluten free options available too.

Ambrosia On Pako

2 Gheringhap st, Geelong / 5229 5504 maxhotelgeelong.com.au

There are some delicious new changes to an old Geelong favourite, with The Max Hotel’s delightful pub menu! Featuring all your favourites plus one of the biggest burger menus in town, dinner at The Max will not disappoint. Situated near the Geelong Waterfront and just across the road from Deakin University’s Waterfront Campus, The Max offers a casual and atmospheric vibe. With live music on Friday and Saturday nights featuring the some of the town’s best cover bands you are always going to have a good night at The Max, why not kick it off with some dinner? Classic and modern pub favourites start from just $14 and is fantastic value for money,

Pistol Pete’s Food N Blue

208A Pakington Street, Geelong 5229 2725 / ambrosiaonpako.com

with vegetarian and gluten free options also available. Wednesday night is Burger Night, at just $10 with three to choose from how do you go wrong? Even better, stick around for Lukey Luke’s Open Mic night, kicking off from 7pm. Thursday’s are not only Parmi Night- where you can choose from four parmis for $14 - it is also Trivia Night where there are some great prizes up for grabs, so get a team of your most knowledgeable friends.

Ambrosia is has cemented itself as one of Geelong’s finest dining experiences! Situated just down from the ‘cafehub’ of Pakington St, the design will immediately catch your eye. The restaurant has a vibrant and welcoming feel to match the fantastic, friendly service. The menu is diverse and has something to satisfy everyone’s palettes. Vegos can pick from crumbed pumpkin gyros, vegetarian moussaka, an array of salads, or numerous others. Ambrosia also has a great selection of sharing plates for when you just can’t decide! They have a bunch of specials running throughout the week. Monday

is uni and industry night, you can get a Gyros and beer or wine for just $20. Tuesday night is Gyros of the World matched with beers, where will you go? Wednesday night, is Ladies Night with $10 cocktails, get your girlfriends together for a night of fun and feasting. Sundays mean Sangria, with a tasting plate jug of Sangria for just $35! They even have a $10 Lunch Special with a range ofdifferent options to choose from.

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Zambrero Pakington Strand, Cnr Waratah and Pakington Street 7 days from 11:00am-10:00pm / zambrero.com

Three two one ate 196 Shannon Ave, Geelong West facebook.com.au/threetwooneate

Get excited Geelong, a brand new, exciting and unique dining experience has arrived. Three Two One Ate is Geelong’s very own food truck collective and community garden space in Shannon Ave. Brooke Campbell, the owner of Slider Society Food Truck is launching the park and will be operating 4 days a week along side a delicious line up of ever changing vendors and carts. Guest Food Trucks appearing throughout June and July being; Caliko BBQ, Big Cook Little Cook, Damons Diner, Mamma Van, Nem n Nems, White Guy Cooks Thai, Baskervilles Jaffles, The Brulee Cart and many more offering cuisines such as Sliders, Tacos, Burgers, Pasta, American BBQ, Desserts, Indian Fusion, Vietnamese and an endless list of

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gourmet delights to tantalise your taste buds. The Community Gardens is starting off with a kids garden wall and expanding with veggie patch trailers and green houses as spring arrives. A variety of family friendly activities such as gardening, giant games, jumbo blackboard and painting will be made available in the coming months as well as community art projects involving local artists painting portraits and street art. The site has all all the features you will need for an outdoor setting including heating, blankets, picnic rugs, umbrellas and pergolas for shelter. There is plenty of seating and street parking available in the area. The site will even be available for for group function hire and party bookings, with unconfirmed plans for BYO licence, live music/buskers nights/salsa dance nights and market stalls to come in the warmer months. Three Two One Ate is located at 196 Shannon Ave, Geelong West. For more information contact info@ slidersociety or call 0402 756 038 website- www. facebook.com.au/threetwooneate

Zambrero is Mexican with a mission: a healthy quick service restaurant as well as humanitarian enterprise committed to tackling world hunger. It does this via its Plate 4 Plate charity initiative, which means for every burrito or bowl (all the goodness of a burrito without the tortilla) sold, one meal is donated to someone in need around the world or living in an underprivileged Australian community. Zambrero’s menu features all the Mexican favourites such as tacos, burritos and nachos, but what distinguishes Zambrero’s food from that served by most quick service restaurants is its focus on nutritious meals bursting with true flavour. Selections include slow-cooked meats spiced with herbs, the freshest of accompaniments from lettuce to fiery jalapenos and a range of sides such as homemade guacamole. There is also a selection of six inspired sauces, found only at Zambrero, to complete your meal. Zambrero Mexican restaurants also make a point of catering for dietary requirements, so diners

need only click on the website to check kilojoules, or whether a meal is gluten free, dairy free or more. Since Zambrero was founded by Dr Sam Prince in 2005, Plate 4 Plate has resulted in more than 4.5 million meals being delivered to those who need them the most. The distribution channel overseas is managed by Stop Hunger Now and in Australia via a partnership with the country’s largest food relief agency Foodbank. Zambrero Geelong West is now open on Pakington Strand, Cnr Waratah and Pakington Street from 7 days from 11:00am-10:00pm.

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FAST FIVE WITH Kitty Flanagan! All funnyness aside, we took five with comedian Kitty Flanagan on some very important things in life, mainly, what’s Charlie Pickering like as head honcho? What are three things you couldn’t live without?

Favourite thing about Bendigo:

My dog Henry, my cat Sarge and my sister Penny.

Savoury scones from the Beechworth Bakery. A post show glass of wine at Wine Bank. Oh, and I’m also very excited about the new Ulumburra Theatre!

Vegemite chocolate, love it or hate it? Well, I like both those things separately…but together???

What’s Charlie Pickering like as a “boss”? The best. Seriously. He’s top notch. If any comedian could be successful as a politician who do you think it’d be? Wil Anderson. Smart. Funny. Generous. Listens to other people. Wil for P.M. I’d vote for him any day.

FAST 5 WITH MAGIC BONES! In light of your new track ‘Anywhere, Anytime’, if you could drop everything and take a trip somewhere, where would it be? Anywhere warm with waves. Let’s say Barbados.

What’s the ideal year (or decade) of music to be living in and why? The ‘70s.. the New York rock scene, everyone in the band would be happy there.

They’ll soon be touring Australia with Stonefield, but before they load up any vans, we took five with band member Kiri O’Connor on annoying tour habits and more.

Do you have an annoying on tour habit and what is it? Yes, waking up super early in the morning after a show to go for a walk or swim. I try to be really quiet, but apparently I always wake everyone up.

Where’s your “special place” in Melbourne? Edinburgh Gardens. Should bands wear their own merchandise? Only in emergencies.

When&Where: Shadow Electric Bandroom, Melbourne - June 26

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Café Culture T H E

Farmer’s Place Local fare is always on the menu at The Farmer’s Place. The Surf Coast’s latest eatery on Anglesea Rd, Freshwater Creek is set on a small working farm and proudly serves food made from fresh produce growing in the garden or sourced from the local area. Market shelves are stocked with grains, fresh produce, meats, dairy products and condiments from local suppliers as well as house made specials such as winter warming soups of fresh seasonal ingredients. Outside there is plenty of space and visitors are encouraged to explore and check out the vegetable gardens, orchards and farm animals. Popular with locals and visitors alike, The Farmer’s Place provides a relaxed atmosphere to enjoy the best produce the region has to offer. Accompanied by a great local beer and wine list and with regular live music and open mic nights on offer, there is much to love about this unique setting. The owner of The Farmer’s Place, Robert Pascoe, is a local farmer who is also the owner of Closed Loop, a Melbourne based environmental company focusing on recycling and resource efficiency. The Farmer’s Place combines Robert’s passion for sustainability, love of local food and community and has resulted in the creation of this unique paddock to plate to paddock operation. Sustainable principles are demonstrated everywhere at The Farmer’s Place; the building is a rustic welcoming space made of recycled shipping containers and reclaimed timber and the fit out has been fashioned from recycled materials to demonstrate what can be done with materials that were otherwise going to be thrown away. Solar panels fitted to the cafe’s roof ensure that The Farmer’s Place is generating its own energy and minimising its environmental footprint. Rain water is collected and stored in dams and large onsite tanks and water is also treated and recaptured from the septic tank for use on the orchards. The site also uses the latest Closed Loop technology to compost food waste onsite. Scraps that are not fed to the goats or chickens are placed in the onsite composting unit and the resulting nutrient rich soil conditioner is mixed with soil and used to fertilise the vegetable gardens and grounds. Unlike most other businesses, the composting unit is not hidden out the back in a waste compound but instead takes pride of place on the deck of the restaurant. Owner Robert Pascoe is keen for all who visit to be able to identify sustainability in action; from seeing responsible waste, water and energy practices to being able to engage with the whole food cycle. “We are passionate about sustainability and about how we produce and use food for the future” says Robert Pascoe. “Through The Farmer’s Place we hope to create a sustainable food hub which showcases the best produce of the region, promotes and supports local production and enables people to reconnect with their food and where it comes from”. Where: 675 Anglesea Rd, Freshwater Creek

When: Mon-Wed 7am-4pm;

Website: www.thefarmersplace.com.au

Thu-Sat 7am-10pm;

Contact: 0499 333 093

Sunday 7am-4pm

ADVER YOUR HER

CALL ABBEY O

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RTISE CAFE RE!

ON 0431 898 745

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Fast 5 with GRAVEYARD TRAIN! What’s something that scares you?

Death, because it’s inevitable. What’s a song that should never be covered by a band?

Anything by The Beatles unless you’re Joe Cocker and now that Joe Cocker is dead no one should cover the Beatles. Naked Selfies: yes or no?

I think people should be able to do whatever they want with their bodies as long as it doesn’t harm other people. Do you actually like riding on trains?

I’ve ridden some pretty cool trains in my time, but honestly, I’m a bit of a tram guy myself. I don’t like buses, I’m just going to put that out there. What would be your funeral song?

Probably ‘God Gave Rock and Roll To You’ by KISS – that’s got a great chorus. Though KISS make terrible verses don’t they? But amazing chorus’. Maybe just nothing but KISS chorus’ played at my funeral, just KISS chorus after KISS chorus...

Graveyard TraiN LOCAL FEATURE STORY

Written by Amanda Sherring

While Graveyard Train have taken a step away from their schlokier horror-based tunes they’ve become known for, there’ll be no changes to their live antics, as frontman Nick Finch assures me. “We’re not very good at toning it down, so it’s going to be much the same,” he says laughing. “I think the healthy thing about us this year is we’re playing so few shows that our life expectancy isn’t going to reduce as significantly as it did in past years. But definitely when we’re there and on stage, we’ll be just as action packed and crazy. “Whenever we’re on stage we always put everything into it and we always have heaps of fun on

stage. In the past occasionally the hangovers have got to us after in conversations and in the tour van and such.” Those unhealthy times for Graveyard Train that Nick refers to come from their first tour of Europe and the many sleepless nights, empty bottles and missing band mates that came along with it. “I remember our second gig overseas ever [in Scotland] one of our band members just

went missing. He basically kept drinking from the night before of the first gig and we rocked up to sound check at the second gig and he was gone in Edinburgh,” Nick says. “He never ended up showing up but we found him on like a pile of garbage unconscious after the show. Looking back it’s funny; our second ever international gig and one of our guys was asleep on a pile of garbage. In retrospect that’s funny but in the moment it was like, ‘What the fuck are you doing? It cost a lot of money to come over here we should really be playing these shows and not getting wasted and ending up on garbage’.” Though the crazy moments weren’t limited simply to their trips overseas. Visits to Geelong have been just as crazy, and it’s those crazy moments – and our proximity to their hometown of Melbourne – that warranted their upcoming show at the Barwon Club. “I think maybe the first three or four times we played in Geelong they were at the Nash back when that was open. That was a really great pub, we loved

that place. But I remember one of those gigs we had kids coming on stage and stealing the microphone and singing along,” he adds with a laugh. “It’s always pretty crazy and drunken in Geelong, every time actually I’ve managed to get too drunk, but I’ve stayed through well enough to get through the gig. But afterwards I’ve just seen some weird things and talked to some weird people. It’s good and I really like the Barwon Club too actually, we played there – I think the last time we were in Geelong – and I’d never been there before and I really like that pub, it’s got a great vibe.” This time around the boys will be just as crazy as before, but they’ll also be sharing with us some new topics covered in their songs. Instead of the tales of werewolves and vampires we’ve all sung-a-long to, the band are talking about much deeper issues like death, though masked by their upbeat rock-country stylings. “I think when we started it was just a fun side project for the band and it was just kind of a dumb

idea that was a bit of fun, but when we started there was kind of a point to Graveyard Train. Then as we kept playing I guess we kind of just grew up a bit,” he says. “We always took things seriously, we never wanted the band to be a joke band or anything like that, but I guess just with time some of those schlokier songs just stopped coming out as much. We also just ran out of monsters to write about really, there’s only so many vampires. “People would also come up after the show to talk to us about our songs and ask about the metaphors in our songs. As in, was ‘Bit by a Dog’ about heroin addiction and that sort of stuff. They’re all much more low brow than that, they’re just about werewolves. But it kind of got us thinking and we thought maybe we should be getting a bit more metaphorical with our songs.” Another change for the better has come with the band’s decision to return to doing things for themselves. Graveyard Train are probably best known for making their own instruments, but they’re also responsible for driving

themselves around, managing the band and their record label and, most recently, taking to making clips with their track ‘Takes One to Know One’. “We had another film clip sort of half get made for that song by a mate and it was supposed to be a drunken cookie monster doing a cooking show,” he says. “The cookie monster was drinking real whiskey while they were filming and got too drunk and passed out so they couldn’t finish the film clip, so they had to scrap it. And Josh the banjo player was just like, ‘Stuff it, I’m just going to make it myself ’.” The resultant clip, sans the cookie monster, features various old school cartoon clips timed to perfection with lead singer Beau Skowron singing along. It’s the perfect mix of dark lyrics and cheeky fun, which is exactly what you can expect with their performance in Geelong on July 3. When&Where: Barwon Club, Geelong – July 3 & Melba Spiegeltent, Melbourne – July 4

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FROC K IT T h e

LBD

Written by Katherine Reynolds www.katthewanderer.com | facebook/katthewanderer | @katthewanderer

Written by Jessica Alves | @jessicazalves

The little black dress – also known as an LBD – is without a doubt the most important item in your entire closet. It’s a big claim, I know, but it’s so true. A little black dress – if chosen carefully – has the potential to be the most versatile piece of clothing in your wardrobe. The iconic dress stems from the 1920s when high end designers were looking for an affordable silhouette and colour that was accessible to a wide audience. The intention for the dress was for it to be classic, timeless and longlasting – which is certainly what they achieved. There isn’t a ‘perfect’ or most desirable shape or cut, as this will vary from person to person depending on individual preferences. My ideal little black dress happens to come in the form of a body con, sleeveless, midi. For me, this shape gives me the most versatility. Styling an LBD is super easy, because you’ve essentially got 50% of your outfit sorted. The magic lies purely with accessorising, and I’m going to tell you about three different ways you can style your little black dress for three different occasions. If you’re a young person with any social life at all, it’s likely that you’ll end up at a bar at some point in time, whether it’s for a birthday or

because of your giant HECS loan. For either of those occasions, you’ll need the appropriate attire. Pairing our main attraction with a leather jacket and a pair of black ankle boots really amps up an outfit for night time wear, making it a perfect meeting point between edgy and classy. Add a black clutch to complete the ensemble. On the other end of the spectrum, a LBD is perfectly suited as work attire. Costume jewellery can be a great, cheap way to change up any outfit. Toss on a statement necklace to add interest to the neckline, and add a wristlet to carry your life essentials, such as lipstick, phone, wallet, etc. Add a relaxed blazer and a pair of court shoe pumps, and you’re set for a day of paper pushing at the office. Finally, if you’ve ever been running late for a coffee date, this little outfit combo will save your life. Chuck on your dress of choice, and find a chambray shirt to either put over your shoulders, or tie around your waist. Pop a pair of cat-eye sunnies on your head and a pair of slide on sandals on your feet. A crossbody bag with plenty of room for life’s essentials completes this outfit. Basics are essential to a wardrobe, and there are a million ways to wear an LBD, but these are by far

WINING & BIKING IN FRANCE

my favourite. Three very distinct, complete working outfits that recycle the same main component: to get you the most bang for your buck. Try switching up, adding and removing accessories, and doing your hair and makeup differently to get even more options from the one simple, but very reliable, dress.

When I was in France late last year, I decided to stop off in Burgundy (or Bourgogne) on my way to Paris – which turned out to be a fabulous idea as the area happens to be very famous for its wines. Can anyone give me a hallelujah? During my travels I’ve become a huge enthusiast for a cheeky glass (or bottle) of red, so this was right up my alley. Between Paris and Lyon, Burgundy offers a vast array of towns for you to stay – allowing you to experience different regions of wine and soak up more than just the alcohol by providing lovely views and quaint towns. It’s covered in canals and is also within close distance of Dijon (the capital of Burgundy).

I stayed in Beaune (in Côte d’Or), which was full of glorious vineyards and rich history. It’s a lovely part of France and definitely a go-to kind of place for any fellow winos out there! During my stay I did a half-day bike tour through the vineyards with a wine tasting included. It was a glorious late summers day, the sun was out and I was incredibly excited to get on the bike and explore the area in a different way. Although I was soon regretting the idea as I was struggling to cycle up a small incline and was losing my breath all too quickly. You know that feeling where you’re cycling so hard and so fast but you don’t feel like you’re actually going anywhere? That was me. The tour wasn’t even supposed to be challenging! It was so bad

the poor tour guide had to come back and save me – which was a little embarrassing to say the least. Honestly, the wine tasting couldn’t have come sooner! My tour guide for the day, Guillaume, was a young fellow with very good English who happily translated his knowledge for me, being one of the only four English speaking people on the tour. I learned a copious amount of information about the different regions of wine, how it’s made and the history of the areas. It was great to get some insight into the production and taste a few samples as well! We sampled some Chardonnay and Pinot Noir (my favourite kind of red) from a twoperson vineyard – a mother and her son were the only two people involved in the making of their wine. They did everything from picking the grapes to corking the bottles. It was very impressive and quite a personal experience! I really believe participating in a bike tour (especially one that incorporates wine) is always a good way to break up your trip and experience the culture and sights of a place in a different (and somewhat exhausting) way. It’s definitely a whole lot of fun, and something you’ll most certainly remember when you’re looking back on that trip. Plus, there are options for them all over the world. For example, your own backyard! Australia is one of the best places in the world for wine; we should take advantage of it! Places like South Africa, Spain and even California would be great, too. There are always ways to make a trip more interesting, and a little tasty!

With 13 stores in the Geelong, Bellarine, Ballarat and Surf Coast areas we really are the. EXPERTS IN EVERYWHERE

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(03) 5221 9888

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PowderPak Parks Geelong Q&A

MINI CLASSIFIEDS Send your info to editorial@fortemag.com.au Individual use only, not for commercial purposes Local Bendigo Band Looking for Female singer, cover music, gigs waiting, phone Chris 0403258151 DRUMMER WANTED! Any age is ok, as long as you can play. Call 0430971319 Bass Player Wanted for dynamic (gigging) blues rock three-piece. Contact 0430971319 for more info. Bass Player Wanted Experienced Bass player required for established working covers band: think Blondie, Free, Cream, SRV, CCR, Fleetwood Mac, Garry Moore and popular ‘60s/on wood bands.Own gear and transport a must. rehearsals at Ocean Grove.Call Ray on 0418512975 for more info.

Singer wanted for original band doing a mix of retro styles - soul, funk, latin rock, gospel, R&B, groove based stuff. Over an album's worth of material already written, studio recordings, gigs etc. Looking for the right voice so drop us a line and we'll take it from there! ben@ bellemusique.com.au Experienced 22 y/o singer, songwriter, guitarist looking for a drummer, bassist and lead guitarist to start up an original rock band based in Geelong. Inf luences: QOTSA, Sublime & Dave Grohl. Contact Tom at: 0487067083

ADVERTISE YOUR BUSINESS HERE! CALL LUKE ON 0422 809 042

In Australia, let alone Geelong, we’re not blessed with the year round snow season like in certain winter wonderland countries overseas. But hold that thought for a second, as there is now an option to snowboard and ski year round with the opening of PowderPak Parks in Geelong. We had a chat with Trent Haverkamp about what to expect. Hey Trent, thanks for taking the time to chat with us, how are you and what are you up to at the moment? Ahoy there, I’m doing quite rad thanks. Right now I’m at the ‘snow park’ watching some guys get their gnar on and I’m considering strapping on the boots for a slide and throwing down a few of my own old man hammers. It’s one of the perks of having my own year round facility I can board in!! First off, are you a big snowboarder? How long have you been doing it for? I’m a passionate snowboarder and have been doing it for many many moons now. Sadly those moons haven’t really shined down any magical super pro skill beams onto me, but having access to my own PowderPak park has definitely improved and re-kindled my love for park riding though and I plan on continuing to ride for as long as I’m physically possible. And what made you want to open such

a thing as PowderPak Parks in Geelong? I had visited the other PowderPak Park and thought f@#k it’s such a good idea, I wish there was one closer to Geelong where I could board whenever I wanted. Then it just so happened an opportunity arose to open one here and I thought if I felt that way about the park, I’m sure the other boarders and skiers in the area would too. So I decided to take a punt and quit the desk job to spend the next part of my life constantly in snowboard boots in a warehouse. Obviously the atmosphere of snowboarding/skiing in a warehouse would be different, but how does the actual surface compare to the real deal? Without having to turn the warehouse into a giant freezer, PowderPak is arguably the next best thing to actual snow and it’s mostly dry. You warm up quickly and can board or ski in shorts and T-shirt and because it’s indoor you can do it

Where: 85 Douro St, Geelong When: Wed-Fri 4-9pm; Sat-Sun 10.30am-6pm Site: www.pppgeelong.com.au Number: 03 5277 0320

anytime of the year in any weather. PowderPak is now used under all the lift load points in Australian ski resorts, so if the purveyors of the real thing think it’s good enough to use, then I can’t think of a better thumbs up for the surface. We have a sound system blasting tunes and a big ol’ TV to watch the latest snow vids on for a little extra stoke should one require it. You soon forget you’re in a North Geelong warehouse once you start riding, you’re having so much fun or concentrating on progressing your skill set. And does the layout and surface allow you to do the same kind of tricks you’d do on the slopes? Yes and more!!

Because all the features in the park are moveable, you can change them in seconds and build up combinations of features that you couldn’t/ wouldn’t be allowed to do up on the hill. Plus the quick and repetitive nature of riding a PowderPak Park means you can learn tricks a lot quicker than up at the resorts. Given you’ve been open for a while, what sort of people have been using it and what have they been using it for (training, for fun etc)? I’ve had first timers who have never stood on a snowboard before all the way through to pro riders coming in to use the park. Mostly it has been for fun but I have

had a few riders come in and get in a little sneaky practice before some rail jam competitions. But really whenever you’re strapped in, training or not, you’re having fun!! Would you recommend those wanting to learn how to snowboard to head down to PowderPak Parks? Yes but you need to keep in mind that it’s predominately a park setup and due to size restraints I can’t replicate a whole run on a mountain, so learning to turn is a little more difficult BUT you can definitely get your head and body in the right place for standing and sliding sideways – which is the primary part of

snowboarding. Plus you can get a head start on your park skills in a cheaper, easier, and more repetitive nature with no intimidation that parks on the hills can sometimes sadly come with. What’s your advice for first timers at the venue? Come in with an open mind to learn and be ready for fun!! We have some hire gear should you need it. And remember, unlike the mountains, you can board or ski here any time of the year and any weather!! Thanks again for the chat, any last words of wisdom you’d like to share with our readers? Don’t eat yellow snow, be it the real stuff or PowderPak, EVER!!!

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Geelong Laser Tattoo Removal

Beyondblue fundraiser Q&A

In some way or another we’ve all been affected by depression or anxiety, whether it’s directly to us or through someone we know. Jason Hoekstra is someone who’s taken that experience and turned it into something good. After losing several friends to suicide, he’s decided to create a fundraiser event at the Lord Nelson to raise funds and awareness for beyondblue. Hi Jason, thanks for chatting to Forte magazine, how are you and what are you up to at the moment? Hey really well thanks, I’ve been pretty busy lately. Between work and organising the event – it’s been flat out. You’ll be having a beyondblue fundraiser coming up soon, what made you want to run the event? A few things really. I’ve lost four friends in my life through suicide which has had a pretty big effect on me. I had one mate a few years ago who I hadn’t spoken to or seen for a week or so. One day I had such an overwhelming sense that I needed to message or call him. I felt like I should check in and see how he was doing. I didn’t. I was too “busy” with things in my own life. That night he committed suicide. From then I always wanted to make sure I was there as much as possible for people. Raising awareness for what beyondblue do and money for donation was a great way to help out. With all the work that beyondblue do, helping so many struggling with depression and anxiety was a pretty clear choice

to focus on for that. Have you had much to do with beyondblue before? Honestly not much at all. So the last few months of organising the event has been a real eye opener to how much they do. Why are they such an important charity to support? Beyondblue do such an amazing job raising awareness for depression and anxiety. It’s pretty sad that it’s something we can all relate to – maybe you’ve gone through a rough stage in life or seen a family member or a friend suffer from depression or anxiety. Even with it being so common it’s still so unspoken about, almost like it’s something you should feel ashamed about. It’s really not the case at all though. For the

When&Where: Lord Nelson, Geelong – July 18

people that do feel ashamed, they more than likely feel alone with no one to talk to. A lot of people have the right support network to talk to when things get hard but sadly some don’t. Beyondblue have great resources to figure out what you need to help get life back on track. That’s why I think it’s such an amazing charity because it’s there when someone may feel like no one else is. Do you think there’s enough awareness and help out there for those with depression/anxiety etc? I think it is getting a lot better than it has been. Until people see depression not just as something you should “get over” then there is work to be done. But things are changing which is the main thing. Is depression/anxiety something you’ve had to experience in your life at all?

Yeah I have. Like I said we all have ups and downs in life. I’m just lucky that I have so many amazing and supportive people in my life that if things get hard I can turn to. In terms of the musicians performing at the event, what made you choose the ones you did? All the boys – Andy, Dave, Levi and Zane – are incredibly talented, so it was an easy choice.

Everyone knows them, so not only do people know they’re in for a great night of music but you put those names on a line up and you know you’re going to get people through the doors. It’s often said that music can be a great release for those struggling with depression and anxiety, was that the idea behind having a music gig to support the charity? Well I’ve known for ages that I’ve wanted to organise something but had no idea what. Then I started to play a few gigs around Geelong, met some awesome people along the way and just knew a gig was what I wanted to organise. It was just a simple choice, I had the connections with other musos and venues. So it all fell into place pretty easy. How much are you hoping will be raised on the day? Would love to raise $10,000. So many

people have jumped on board with the event it’s amazing to see. A lot of people have donated time, money or services that without the event wouldn’t be running. So I have no doubt we will reach that figure! Thanks again for the chat, any last words of wisdom you’d like to share with our readers? Just that there is help out there. Places like beyondblue, Lifeline (13 11 14) and headspace are a great place to start if you’re struggling and you need some guidance for what to do if you’re not in the best place mentally. No one really knows what someone else is really going through at any time – what they reflect on the outside may not be what’s really really going on underneath. So some supportive words, a smile or just a, ‘How are you going?’ can really go a long way. Tickets available from: www.stickytickets. com.au/25520

Genevieve Chadwick Written by Tex Miller

Genevieve Chadwick is a blues artist that has often been described as the love child of John Lee Hooker and Janis Joplin and from just one look at her YouTube clips it’s easy to see these comparisons at play. Having released her second full length album as a result of the Playing For Change initiative – which saw her work with Mark Johnson – she is set to play at the Echuca-Moama Winter Blues Festival over the last weekend in July and it’s easy to hear the excitement in her voice in being able to get back down to the river and up on stage again.

“It’s one of the most unique blues festivals in Australia. It’s all in the venues and so you don’t have this caged in vibe and there is such a great atmosphere through the streets,” Chadwick says. “There is music everywhere and Echuca is such a lovely town as well – there are always a couple of fires burning and it has it’s own flavour and vibe. The audience that comes are also fantastic, and they are into the music and there are no dickheads in sight. It’s hard to have a bad time.” Music has always been part of a massive part of Chadwick’s life and while her mum was still pregnant with her, she went to see Dire Straits. Ever since that day, even while in the womb, Gen has been set for the big time. Talking about the influence of the one and only Mark Knopfler, Gen describes it “as an education before

she was even born”. “I think the thing about Dire Straits and Knopfler is that it’s easy on the ears. It’s great song writing and beautiful guitar work. He has a particular style about him that is so tasteful and he is one of the greats that’s for sure,” she says. Her debut album Riding The Wind, Forgetting Time, which was released in 2010, set the seed for the success that has followed – which included international touring and playing alongside the likes of Joan Armatrading, Allen Stone, Beth Hart and Ben Caplan. Yet despite all the success, Chadwick feels that the best aspect to playing music is being able to connect with people through it. “Connecting to an emotion with the audience that is watching is very important to me and while

I also get that recognition and be able to play alongside those big names, it’s not why I play music. I play because I like to feel that connection with people,” Chadwick says. The Playing for Change project – which Chadwick was involved with – aims to inspire, connect and bring peace to the world through music. “When I first met the Playing for Change guys, they asked me whether I knew the Maroon 5 song and so we YouTubed it, then we did some filming in May Lane in

you love most about the musician? As a performer, to have such a deep catalogue of material to present to our audience is a gift. I love how his songs are so accessible and cross generational. Everyone’s experiences and feelings about Cat Stevens songs are individual and different, yet in some strange, even spiritual way, they are the same, because I always feel the audience is unified in its understanding and joy of hearing these songs together once again. The songs say something, ask questions, make statements, they have intelligent, poetic lyrics, and musically, whilst simplistic in presentation, they are very complex and always fun and challenging to perform. The night is about so much more than just the music too, you actually tell

quite a few stories. Was there quite a lot of research involved in finding them out? Yes I have invested an enormous amount of time and energy in presenting an accurate portrait of Cat Stevens. This was enhanced dramatically when I had the privilege of being invited to London to meet with the great man himself. He was every bit as kind and considered as I expected – even more so. I heard first hand some amazing tales; Yusuf, as he is now known, held me spellbound. I knew when I got home that I just had to share my experience and what I had learnt; to do real justice to Cat’s amazing journey. Peace Train is a night of music and storytelling which will strike a chord deep inside the heart of anyone who longs for something more. A journey back in time, re-creating the sights and sounds, seeking out the man in the music and telling the story behind the songs. We try to take our audience on the same journey of discovery that Cat went on and answer the question as to why, at the height of his career, did Cat Stevens leave the music industry? From his early beginnings in swinging London, through some life changing experiences, the triumphs, the loves in his life, and his eternal spiritual search for fulfilment. Woven around this inspiring narrative are 25 of the most incredible songs of our time. Our audiences obviously come expecting to hear these great songs again, but go away with so much more, a real insight into the personality of this complex human being. What do you think it would have been like if Cat Stevens continued on with his career? When Cat Stevens decided to walk away from the music business, at the height of his career in the mid ‘70s, I’m sure

When&Where: Echuca-Moama Winter Blues Festival – July 24-26

Sydney and a few months later, the film clip was in the Top 10 on MTV. It was pretty crazy to see myself in a Maroon 5 clip that’s for sure. Music has an unbelievable power and it always starts with one,” she says. In the writing process for the third album, Chadwick is keen on road-testing new tunes at Echuca. “Although I won’t have a new album by then, it’ll be cool to play some new songs and see the reaction that I get from people. So if you’re headed up there for the weekend, come down and say hello!”

For your chance to see Genevieve Chadwick, plus a handful of others, head to www.winterblues. com.au and get your tickets to the Winter Blues Festival on in the last weekend of July.

Peace Train Q&A

Now in its third year of touring Australia, there’s clearly much to love about the Peace Train show – and more than just Cat Stevens’ music. We had a chat to Darren Coggan, the man recreating the story.

Hi Darren, thanks for taking the time to chat with Forte Magazine, how are you and what are you up to at the moment? I’m great thanks, currently in the middle of our national tour of Peace Train. We’re in Queensland at present, next stop Adelaide and then looking forward to our Victorian shows. It must be quite flattering doing shows again for an encore tour, did you expect it to be as popular as it was the first time around? This is our third national tour of this show, I’m completely overwhelmed at the response from audiences across Australia and to have this kind of longevity out of a project is incredible. I guess it’s a testament to the great songs of Cat Stevens and his inspirational journey of self-discovery. Our show is a very positive one with an underlying theme that we all have the ability to make changes in our lives should we not be content with where we are or who we are, I think Cat Stevens is a great example of that. At the height of his career in the late ‘70s he was very discontent with the excesses of fame and fortune and he did something about it, he turned his back on the trappings of fame and found fulfilment elsewhere. Obviously Cat Stevens was such a legend, what do

When&Where: The Palms at Crown, Melbourne – July 3 & GPAC, Geelong – July 4

many of his fans felt as if they had lost a friend. Cat Stevens not only entertained his audience, he reached out to them and sang about them. However, he reached a point where his heart wasn’t in it anymore. Materialistically he had everything, sold 60 million albums, earned enough money to last several lifetimes and enjoyed all the trappings of fame, yet he still didn’t find fulfilment. He reached the top and thought, ‘Is this all there is to life - surely there must be a deeper purpose?’. So I think if he had of continued his music may have become stale and lifeless, perhaps he would have too. The good news for all of us, as his fans is that Yusuf is

once again writing, recording and indeed performing his great music. After a 30 year absence he has found a way to reconcile his life as Cat Stevens with the Yusuf he is today. I personally don’t think you can simply switch that kind of artistic genius off. All tour dates and further info at www.peacetrain.com.au forte 55

Forte Columns

PULP Written by Alastair McGibbon

too heavy to hug Written by Paul S Taylor

To continue the TOO HUNDRED (AND ONE) To Hug celebrations we here at THTH will now list the best five metal albums (in no particular order) I’ve encountered through the past two hundred columns over the past eight years. These are the albums that are still making an impact, they’re inspiring and will stand the test of time for decades to come Machine Head – The Blackening (2007) This is a no brainer. For a band to be dropped from their label after a pair of horrible releases then begin their climb back to the top with Through The Ashes Of Empires then to follow it up with the even more brilliant The Blackening it’s like a metal fairytale. The Blackening had modern classic written all over it as soon as it was released and it remains so. Dethklok – Dethalbum II (2009) This timeless and humourous release is the perfect party starter that defines modern death metal. Panopticon – Roads to the North (2014) American black metal isn’t known for being the world’s best but over the recent years it has certainly picked up its game. Roads to the North is as icy and blistering as any Norse and wider European offering. Wolves In The Throne Room – Two Hunters (2007) More American black metal makes the list. This album shows that some of the most evil and haunting, blackest and brutal metal music can either be super fast or mid tempo. Even though the guys aren’t the most progressive what they wallow on and drag out emits that sense of dark beauty. Isis – Wavering Radiant (2009) This goes here because Wavering Radiant is always an album to revisit and binge on. Each new listen uncovers something new or reminds you why you were so obsessed with it in the first place. Textured and layered, heavy and intelligent, it seems all of Isis’ previous albums were leading to this masterpiece. In other news Lamb Of God will release their seventh studio album VII: Sturm Und Drang in July. Baptiss will release their new album Biomass on Friday June 26. The band will also play Melbourne’s Howler on Friday July 17 and The Eastern in Ballarat on Saturday August 1. Senses Fail will release their sixth studio album Pull The Thorns From Your Heart on Friday June 30. Cradle Of Filth will release their new studio album Hammer Of The Witches on Friday July 10. Graveyard Rockstars will be at Yah Yah’s on Saturday July 18. Counterparts will release their new album Tragedy Will Find Us on Friday July 24. Orpheus Omega will play The Barwon Club on Thursday July 30, The Corner on Friday July 31 and an all ages show at Musicland on Sunday August 9. Bullet For My Valentine will release their new album Venom on Friday August 14. Ghost will release their third album Meliora on Friday August 21. Nightwish will play only one show per capital city on their Endless Forms Most Beautiful Tour 2016 and the Melbourne show will be at The Forum Theatre on Monday January 11. 56 forte

blues news Written by John (Dr John) Lamp Proudly pesented by The Sleepy Hollow Blues Club

Jules Boult is a young player and a seasoned professional – all in the one package – and he’s just back from a 2015 tour of America, including an appearance at the coveted Chicago Blues Music Festival. Not content with a gruelling schedule of performances, he also hosted a blues enthusiasts’ tour along Highway 61 – New Orleans, Natchez, Greenville, Clarksdale, Memphis, Nashville, Louisville, Chicago and New York. As Jules grew up he was surrounded by live music listening to his father play in their family home. It was really no surprise then that he established a career in the music industry. His music and performances remain true to the blues tradition and his effortless demeanour has been closely linked with that of the genre’s legendary predecessors. His songs are imbued with a good sense of humour and this is reflected in both his lyrics and performance style, consequently revealing his true character. This consummate musician’s sound is unyielding despite the fact that his performances remain graceful and without tension. A dedicated blues musician, Jules Boult’s career has gone from strength to strength since he stepped out as a professional performer. Audiences are constantly captivated by Jules Boult’s intimate and interactive performance style, landing him the title of a must-see live musician for any lover of music. His second album Mark My Words – an independent release – earned him the Best New Talent accolade at the 2011 Australian Blues Music ‘Chain’ Awards. The album itself was an apt demonstration of Jules’ multi-instrumentalism, with him playing guitar, piano, banjo, fiddle and ukulele on the release. The latest offering I Have a Boogie to Play – Live is his fifth release and it is already earning rave reviews. “As a performer and songwriter today, I am always reaching back in order to look forward. Reaching back to what? Well, the blues I guess. Those songs from turbulent times that still resonate with people today. Whether jazz, blues, country or folk – I care little for the distinction – it has always been a case of nuance for me. I also continue to draw upon the seminal experience of hearing real live jazz and blues – played in our childhood home – which has fuelled my hunger to explore, create and develop,” Jules says. This is the first time that Sleepy Hollow Blues Club has hosted Melbourne-based musician Jules Boult, along with his band The Redeemers to the Bellarine. So, what can we expect? One reviewer has said Jules has “a taste for the arcane, Jules Boult delivers a nice line in blues and hokum!” The common themes which come through in the reviews are an unstrained, high quality performance with good humour and humanity. The real issue seems to be, who will be The Redeemers? In the past, The Redeemers have included Jesse Valach, Joel Plymin, Wes Mowson, Dan Dinnen, Travis Woods and James McCaulay (from The Horns of Leroy). Jules Boult is playing SHBC on June 28. Doors at 3pm for a jam, headliner at 6pm.

Hold on to your hats, guys – this week Pulp is going back to its roots. I’m taking a trip into the world of the spooky, undead world of The Goon. If you’ve been reading Pulp for a while, you might remember Cameron writing about this one ages back. Now, it’s my turn to dissect Eric Powell’s tale of the undead and the titular character who spends his days beating them senseless. Well… as senseless as a zombie can be. The Goon: Nothin’ But Misery is the first volume in what is now a long-running series – Powell is up to volume 14, last time I checked – and boy, is it a riot. Combining old-school pulp adventure, noir crime and Lovecraftian horror, it’s essentially the most accessible horror comic I’ve read in ages. There’s something for everyone in there, and, surprisingly, plenty of comedic moments. At first, I thought I was reading some strange, serious, avant-garde horror piece. Then, I realised that it was actually a strange, hilarious horror piece. The Goon and his best mate Frankie seem to relish in making the best of their weird, messy lives, and tear up their hometown with gleeful abandon. Nothin’ But Misery introduces readers to a world stuck in the ‘40s – mob bosses a la Al Capone rule the streets, women are referred to as dames and zombies roam the streets. Wait, what? Yup, there’s zombies. Lots of them, in fact. The nameless man, the Zombie Priest, has come to town, and he’s set his sights on taking over. Despite a legion of the undead at his command, however, he can’t wrest control from the crime boss Labrazio and his unstoppable enforcer, the titular Goon. When the Priest discovers the Goon’s deepest,

PUNK! Written by Christopher Cruz

Against Me! have a new live album on the way, curiously titled Twenty Three Live Sex Acts By Against Me!- do they even know how difficult their name makes things for us music journalist types?! Jeez Louise! Frank Turner just dropped a newie – if you’re into that sort of thing. It’s called Positive Songs For Negative People. If you get in quick, you can score a limited two disc edition featuring a butt-load of acoustic tracks. Thanks, but no thanks. Nothing punk rock about acoustic guitars, no matter HOW emotional or impassioned the songs may be. But to each their own, I guess. It’s our differences that make us interesting. Or uninteresting. I nearly added a LOL to the end of that! Joe Sib – former frontman of the rather excellent bands Wax and 22 Jacks, as well as head of Side One Dummy Records – has also been doing stand up for a while now. You can grab his comedy album, Don’t Call Me Dude, Bro right now! Curious about the new Hopes Abandoned line up? Details will be dropping on their Facebook page in coming weeks. The band also has a new digital EP in the works. Rancid, hey? Anybody hoping for an Australian tour can find something else to hope for now, because it ain’t ever gonna happen. The band as good as said so in a recent interview, but wouldn’t give a reason why. They’re in our neck of the woods all the time,

darkest secret – that Labrazio is long dead and the Goon runs his empire in his stead – the Goon finds himself in a whole heap of trouble. While it initially came across as a dark, serious tale, any pretence of seriousness is quickly thrown out the window, and the Lovecraftian horrors are quickly subdued with quips, fists and a very handy wrench. Frankie and the Goon (who, despite a similar naming convention, are nothing like Pinky and the Brain) tear strips off the various monstrosities standing in their way, and alternate between spouting quips (Knife in your eye!) and cracking skulls. Powell’s art is visceral, dark and foreboding - a rather fitting backdrop to the Goon’s adventures, despite the light-hearted, comic dialogue. This witty form of horror is excellently interspersed with old-style comic book ads, spruiking hilarious junk like Billy’s Lobotomy Kit, and advertising for “Atomic Rage”, a foulmouthed atomic superhero comic. While The Goon’s aesthetic can take some getting used to – Powell’s art can be a bit off-putting at times – all in all, Nothin’ But Misery serves up a story that’s equal parts funny, dark and gory, and is ultimately unique. The Goon blends in a stack of some of the best genres around, and serves up a story that is essentially pulp storytelling at its finest. This one’s some primo content, guys! playing shows in Japan, so what gives?! Soundwave guy AJ Maddah has been trying to secure them for the festival for years now – to no avail. Sebastian Bach, the original voice of Skid Row, is headed back our way for another tour. He’ll be playing plenty of Skid Row songs, so don’t miss out! In a recent interview with UK heavy music bible Kerrang!, solo artist Gerard Way revealed that he had no interest in a My Chemical Romance reunion record or tour. Ever. In case you didn’t know, and haven’t put two and two together, Gerard Way fronted the band throughout its existence. It’s already been FIVE YEARS since their last album, Danger Days. Wowsers. Metalcore kids rejoice! Aussie exports Parkway Drive have just dropped their brand new single, ‘Vice Grip’, via Epitaph Records. It’s the first track to be lifted from their new album, Ire. The mighty Skinpin are heading into Forte territory to launch their new album, So Turn It Back On, on Saturday July 18. Catch the guys at the Bush Inn Hotel in Geelong, with super awesome special guests Strawberry Fist Cake, The Half Pints and In The Esky. Do not miss this! New Jersey pop-punk/emo pioneers (in the best possible sense of the term!) Lifetime are back in action and playing shows again. No word of another Australian tour as of yet, but fingers and toes! Italian sleaze/glam/’80s rock heavy hitters Skull Daze have been in the studio, hard at work on their second album. Expect it later this year. Propagandhi are now minus a guitarist – anybody heading to Canada should hit them up pronto dente. So long as they can play guitar. Women super encouraged. And yes, pronto dente is a THING. Shut up. And that’s about it for another issue, boils and ghouls. Meet you back here same Bat time, same Bat channel for more! You know, if you don’t freeze to death in the meantime...

THE NIGHT VIBE

pop culture

Written by Tex Miller thenightvibe.com.au

Written by Anthony Morris

In 2005, I was 14 years old and my musical world was pretty much surrounded by the likes of John Butler’s brilliant album Sunrise Over Sea and Jet’s debut album. Both of these records are amazing releases however, it was when I heard about the debut studio release by a new guy on the scene, my world – as clichéd as it is to say – kinda changed forever. When I heard this album it changed the way I looked at music. So, what is the album I hear you ask yourself, Autumn Flow by the wonderful Lior. From the moment I heard the opening riff to ‘This Old Love’ I was hooked. There is something very simplistic and beautifully sad throughout the instrumentation and the lyrics of the track. Now it doesn’t take a genius to work this out, but it’s been 10 years since then and that is cause to celebrate. Over the past couple of months, you will have probably seen that commemorative tours around the country and reissues of the original albums have been announced. Recorded at Big Jesus Burger Studios in Sydney, the thing that I really love about this album is that Lior really nailed it with a seamless list of great tracks. Although at the age of 14 I wasn’t really looking into writing my own songs, it was a time when I was getting into music journalism and broadening my musical horizons to have a greater appreciation of music. Since that first time of hearing ‘This Old Love’, it has since become one of my favourite songs of all time. With just electric guitar, vocals, bass and a string section, the track is just simply killer. Although, there was only ‘This Old Love’ and ‘Autumn Flow’ released as singles, the accolades and praise for this release have been many. Recorded and released entirely independently it is one of the most successful releases on an indie label. Certified gold and selling 35,000 copies of the album, it was only a matter of time before Lior became a worldwide name. The thing that I really like and appreciate about 2015, is that I am a lot more involved in music and able to understand and praise what these albums were all about back in the day. While giving me an opportunity to relive my youth, I am able to create a whole new set of memories with these albums that I grew up on. If I’m being completely honest with all of the readers of Forte, the second album that is making a comeback after 10 years is Skeleton Jar by Sydney indie kids Youth Group. The sad fact of the matter, is that it wasn’t until a year later when they released Casino Twilight Dogs that they made their way into the Australian music eye. Yes, they covered the Alphaville song ‘Forever Young’ and yes it is a great cover and pop song, however, Youth Group are much more than that. Their debut album Skeleton Jar has become one of the most played on my iPod. The youthful and playful simplistic nature of the lyrics and easy pop melodies make it an album that you are easily able to fall in love with. Although I was unable to see Youth Group at the prime of their powers due to being underage, in a couple of weeks all that will be forgotten as I mosh to them at the Northcote Social Club. ‘Baby Body’ is a highlight of this album and something that if you’re looking at getting into some mid noughties indie Australian rock then look no further than this. In 2006, Gotye released his Like Drawing Blood album, who knows what next year will hold and whether or not he will go out on a similar tour commemorating such a landmark album for his career. But if you’re looking to reconnect with your younger and former self, just head down to the record store and visit your friends. There are countless Australian summers that these albums were the soundtrack to, so what are you waiting for? Stick these on your iPod, crank them up on the stereo and blast around the streets with happy memories of times that have passed.

With Jurassic World breaking box office records left and right – it’s had the highest earning opening weekend of any US film ever, bringing in US$208M – it’s time once again for a shift in how this year’s parade of blockbusters is seen. Put bluntly, there’s a point of view that says that a film that brings in that much money can’t be bad, despite what pretty much all the critics (including yours truly) have had to say about it. Blockbusters are meant first and foremost to make money, this one’s making money, therefore it’s a good blockbuster: end of story. And if you actually work in Hollywood, or for the movie industry around the world, or have shares in the studio, then that’s fair enough. But considering pretty much all of us don’t see a cent from a blockbuster no matter how much money it makes – in fact, the more it makes at the box office the more likely it is that it’ll cost us money – this obsession with financial return makes no sense. Well, it makes a little sense if you liked a film so much you want them to make more in the series, which is why a lot of fans of Mad Max: Fury Road have been eagerly following its box office returns (which have been good, not great). Even the box office is hardly the only factor in bringing a series back; it’s no secret whatsoever that Jurassic World was largely made to help revive the marketing side of the Jurassic Park franchise – kids sure do love dinosaurs, even in toy form. And while it might seem obvious to say that the amount of money a film brings in has nothing to do with the quality of the film, good luck making that point to people who think box office is the be all and end all of film discussion. These days box office numbers are the big gun in the movie fan’s critical arsenal, the sure-fire argument winner. Conversely, if a film is good but didn’t bring in the big bucks (2012’s Dredd is increasingly seen as a prime example of a film that severely under-performed at the box office) good luck trying to persuade people that it’s worth their time. Of course, films that aren’t meant to make money have their own way around this problem – it’s called awards season – but the end result is basically the same: they’re both ways for people who like a film to justify their opinion by calling on a higher power. And if you’re talking about film – or music, or books, or any kind of art really – online, you need all the support you can get these days. At least with television no-one seems to be seriously arguing that the top ratings shows are also the best shows: home renovations might be the kind of thing that brings in the viewers (and the advertising dollars), but high art it ain’t – no matter how many coats of paint they slap on.

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Refining the Palette

Leikography Written by Amanda Sherring

While many may list their phones or wallets as items they carry with them at all times, for Leiko Manalang it seems her camera takes precedence – even forgetting her wallet when we met. Her camera however, wasn’t forgotten. “There’s a camera in the boot of my car! It doesn’t ever really leave me,” she says with a laugh. Having a camera in close proximity may seem unnecessary, but when you consider that Leiko’s love for photography is based around street photography and it’s unpredictable nature, having one with you becomes a necessity. And for Leiko, street photography is about so much more than capturing someone in their natural habitat, it’s a chance to learn something new about someone unfamiliar. “Your camera is a great invitation to know someone. Whenever I take a photo of someone I always like to know their story as well,” Leiko says. “When people take street photography overseas, sometimes they just take a snap and then walk off. That’s not how you do it. You want to know someone first, and if they have an interesting story you want to know that. That’s the only way you can get some sort of connection to your image. I hate it when people take a photo and just walk out.”

“ I take photos to make people feel something...”

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Much like her inspirations Gregory Crewdson and Diane Arbus, each one of Leiko’s images tell a story of its subject. “I take photos to make people feel something, not just to put out an image that looks good,” she says. Choose any one of Leiko’s images and chances are she can tell you the exact story behind it. One such image is the photo of her friend, who hands spread and covered in paint reveals a large scar along her stomach. “While we were working at the Workers Club and we were removing the paint, she told me this story how she had three surgeries in the same area,” she says. “The first surgery was to figure out what was wrong with her, the second surgery was because they fucked up and she had a serious problem and the third one they opened her up because she had a hernia. “So I was interested and I asked her if she could express how she felt about the situation and she said, ‘What the fuck’ and made the gesture in the photo. I wanted to get a photo of the main thing at fault and her hands showing how she felt.” From initially not knowing what she wanted to do after graduating from high school, Leiko has since found her passion from a chance opportunity. One night while working sound production she was given the opportunity to take photographs of a gig at Bended in Geelong when the

regular photographer was off sick. “I started taking snaps of the night and I fell in with photography through music, and then I got interested in weddings and portraits and all that stuff,” she says. “It was that moment of realisation where I knew I didn’t want to be in that position again and that’s how I felt about my sound production course. It killed me from what I love doing.” After dabbling in various forms of photography, including assisting Stevie van der Chys with lifestyle shoots and taking gig photos every weekend since that first time in 2011, Leiko has found what she wants to do with her career: architecture photography. Studying interior design at the Gordon helped fuel her passion, and as she animatedly dissects one of her architectural images on her phone, her love for architecture is undeniable. From initially not knowing where she sat career wise in the world, Leiko has certainly found her place and is taking over it one photograph at a time. Website: leikography. com Facebook: facebook.com/ leikography Instagram: @leikography

Refining the Palette

Dance Baby If you’ve known anyone in the dance world, a dance showcase is one of the most exciting times of the year for dancers. GPAC will play host to the Geelong Dance Showcase, proudly presented by the Geelong Dance Network. The event will feature over 20 dance studios and schools from the region with around 300 performers taking to the stage. July 5 is the date, take note!

Skate Through Winter You know how during the colder months you’ve wanted nothing more than to step outside your front porch, lace up some ice skates and glide your way to whatever your destination? Maybe that’s just me. But nonetheless for Ballarat locals it just became a little bit more possible. The town will have a pop up ice skating rink in the CBD (between Myer and the Town Hall on Armstrong Street South) from June 27 to July 12.

Power To You All you budding street artists out there, the Powerhouse are having a street art competition on July 4. No longer will you just look at the incredible works on the wall, you can make some of your own! The competition will run from 4pm with 120 artists, 240 works of art, Little Creatures and Coffee Cartel refreshments, food from Sushi 8 and Pizza Bar and live music. There’ll be cash prizes and art suuplies up for grabs and artworks will be auctioned off until July 19. To register message Ian on 0418 526 640.

Sip Tea with Poh

Fresh Boom

Stretch It Out With winter reaching its peak, we often steer away from any form of exercise. Making it that little bit easier for you is Patagonia in Torquay (116 Surfcoast Highway) who are offering free community yoga classes on June 27, July 4 & 11 at 8-9am. Spots are limited so call 5261 4420 to get your stretch on.

We all recognise the smiling face of celebrity chef Poh Ling Yeow but we can’t say we know how she likes her tea or what her table manner is. As part of the Tastes of Central Geelong food festival, you’ll get the chance to learn a bit more about the cook as you enjoy an afternoon tea with her at the Mercure Function Centre. Keep July 17 between 1.30-3.30pm free and get booking asap (www.trybooking.com/138083).

One of the most exciting parts of visiting a gallery is seeing the new artworks that come around in each exhibition. Having just changed up its walls on June 11, Boom Gallery is now showcasing work from printmaker Ellie Malin (pictured), photographer Cricket Saleh and new recent Boom addition, sculptor Basil Papoutsidis. This one’s on until July 11 and worth your time.

It’s Gettin’ Hot in Here How do you like your chicken? Hot? That’s just the way the folks at The Hot Chicken Project in Geelong like it. Adding another bit of life to the CBD the Geelong eatery has officially opened at 84a Little Malop Street specializing in spicy chicken and tasty sides. If you’re not into the hot stuff you can still get your chicken at the ‘Southern’ level, but for those who are game, give the ‘Evil Chicken’ a go.

Red Nose Day We don’t mean the sunburnt kind, we mean the get that foam, round, red nose out of your cupboard and onto your nose because it’s Red Nose Day on June 26! The day helps raise money for SIDS and Kids for vital education and support services for Australian families. Visit www. rednoseday.com.au to see how you can help.

WWW.COURTHOUSE.ORG.AU

What’s on this month at

CHYA

Artist Welcome Artist Amber Daly has recently made Geelong her home and part of the experiences she’s had in relocating will be shared in her upcoming exhibition. Amber says of the exhibition: “This is my first exhibition in Geelong and I felt it was important to show some of the work that I created during the first few months of moving to Geelong, especially the Waterfront-themed paintings”. Amber is currently studying her Masters of Fine Art at RMIT. The show will open on July 17 at Metropolis Gallery between 6-8pm and will run until August 1.

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12th–26th June

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E: reception@courthouse.org.au

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Refining the Palette

Sex With Strangers: Samuel Johnson Written by Amanda Sherring

For some technology can be a scary thing. No longer are there boundaries to who you can contact or things you can learn – the possibilities are endless. It’s an aspect that’s often debated and one that’s brought up in the play Sex With Strangers, but it’s something that actor Samuel Johnson welcomes with open arms.

“I personally don’t have an issue with it, I think the more ways we find to communicate the better,” Sam says. “I’m not threatened by technology at all, and I personally think Instagram is one of the greatest inventions ever. I love spying on people’s lives.” It’s true that Sam is no stranger to technology, having grown up through the social media boom, formed his charity Love Your Sister with a heavy online presence and often partial to the odd Instagram post or two. It’s a trait that he has in common with his character in the play Ethan Strange – a man who rose to fame through sharing his sexual exploits online – and it isn’t the only one.

“I’m a little bit like Ethan in the sense that I don’t have much to hide either. I’m pretty happy to talk about anything in my life and there are no topics that are off limits – that’s certainly the case for this character too,” he says. But aside from his rather questionable means to make money, Ethan is also a writer who is looking for literary legitimacy and is confronted with the lack of his, in meeting fellow writer Olivia Lago – played by Tottie Goldsmith – who is in the process of writing her newest novel. “Having written a book last year and having a dad who was a novelist and a mum who was a poet and having embarked on the whole writing journey myself, [legitimacy] is something that I think Photo: Scott Allan

every artist can relate to,” Sam says. “Legitimacy isn’t tied to success and that’s the most important thing for any artist to understand – you don’t have to be successful to be a good artist” Though in the case of Sex With Strangers, it certainly seems that the play is carried by a team of successful and talented individuals. Written by House of Cards writer Laura Eason, directed by the multi-skilled Lucy Freeman and brought to life by Samuel Johnson and Tottie Goldsmith – each with a wealth of achievements behind them – the play is a success simply on paper alone. “It’s probably been one of the more challenging jobs I’ve had that’s for sure, but really rewarding in the sense that the script is white hot, and we’ve assembled a team of a-list practitioners – it feels a little bit like a dream team,” he says. When&Where: Lighthouse Theatre, Warrnambool – June 25, Hamilton Performing Arts Centre, Hamilton – June 26, Portland Arts Centre, Portland – June 27 & Shirley Burke Theatre, Parkdale – August 3

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Blues For Lost Souls

Dreamboogie

Written by John (Dr John) Lamp

Three years ago Greg and Jan Dodd were discussing the plight of the world and decided that, “domestic violence, addiction, mental health issues and many other reasons all lead to one place, homelessness”. From that discussion Blues for Lost Souls was born, which has become an annual fundraiser for organisations working in this area. On the day there will be some sensational blues acts:

Jimi Hocking’s Blues Machine and Chris Wilson

Jimi has been playing since the 1980s. He’s played with The Screaming Jets, and now has his Blues Machine. Jimi has also written music for film and TV, and recorded and played for many other artists in a career now spanning 25 years. I would call Chris Wilson blues royalty, if I wasn’t antimonarchist! His harp playing is legendary, and the mention of his name is enough to fill a venue.

Lloyd Spiegel

Lloyd has been playing for 25 years and at last count has seven Victorian and Australian blues awards. He has played 19 overseas festivals from Japan to Germany, and many many Australian festivals.

Dreamboogie

Dreamboogie is from the new generation of blues acts, but they have already been to the International Blues Challenge, assisted by the Melbourne Blues Appreciation Society.

Chris Finnen and Jeff Lang

Chris Finnen is another internationally recognised blues performer, whose CV includes playing for the Dalai Lama. He’s also shared the stage with some of the world’s best, including Buddy Guy, Bo Didley, Jimmy Witherspoon, Roy Buchanan, Eric Burdon, Keb Mo, Bob Brozman, John Mayall, and Mavis Staples. Jeff Lang is a Geelong songwriter, singer and slide guitarist. He has developed a system of amplifying his guitars, using a magnetic pickup and an acoustic microphone which allows a clear acoustic sound with effects. Seven of his albums have been nominated for ARIA awards.

Jimi Hocking

The Justin Yap Band

The band plays a potent blend of deep blues, sanctified soul, and downhome funk. They are a young band which is making a mark for themselves, a trip to the IBC should be on the horizon.

The Ruby Rogers Experience

This band find the blues in jazz, the jazz in soul and the soul in blues. It’s a cool six piece band that performs sensational songs from inspirational genres. What’s not to love about tracks by Irma Thomas, Koko Taylor, James Brown, Martha High and Marvin Gaye.

South of the River Choir

This 40 voice choir celebrates diversity and harmony through a shared passion for singing. Under the direction of Annemarie Sharry, the choir explores the music and rhythms of Africa, traditional African American gospel and original Australian compositions..

The Blues Club Revival

The band members all played with the great Dutch Tilders in his bands. They want to re-visit the music and keep playing with deep respect to the Dutchman, thereby create a reunion for friends and fans of the great man.

Gizzfest Barwon Club, Geelong 7 June 2015

To be honest, with a name like Gizzfest I really didn’t know what to expect. But don’t worry kids, I’m here to report that it all turned out fine. Actually ‘fine’ is probably the biggest understatement of the year because Gizzfest was unreal, in particular King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard, those dudes really know how to get a crowd going with their psych rock ways. Held at the Barwon Club, this was just one of the many shows they’d been touring the country with, playing at the likes of Cherry Bar and The Corner but the boys wouldn’t have missed Geelong – being their hometown and all. Gizzfest had it all; great venue, awesome vibe and an epic line up, featuring bands like; The Murlocs, White Bleaches, Facetime, Orb and a new discovery for me personally, The Underhanded – who absolutely kicked arse. The lead singer looked to be having some kind of out-of-this-world experience on stage, swaying, jumping and making friends in the crowd. What can I say, the guy had style. You don’t see a performance like that too often anymore, so I’d be keeping an eye out for those guys. Now to the all important, King Gizzard and The Lizard

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Blues for Lost Souls takes place at Way Out West (Williamstown RSL) on August 8th from 3pm, $40 at the door. Facts: • Each night one in 200 people are homeless. • There are currently just over 100,000 people who are homeless. • Out of those who are homeless approximately 56% are male and 44% are female. • The rate of homelessness in Victoria has risen 20.7% since 2006. • The highest rate of homelessness are those aged between 25-34. • 17% of those who are homeless are aged under 12 years of age. • Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Australians count for 25% of those who are homeless. These figures were obtained from Homelessness Australia from 2012 statistics.

Wizard, I mean is there anything these dudes can’t do? They hit the stage last and the crowd were ready for them, their psychedelic backdrop and lighting set the scene for what was to be one mind-altering set. They got the crowd going, they sounded incredible and their stage presence, for lack of a better term, was intoxicating. ‘Hot Wax’ was a definitely a stand out song and it had the crowd eating out of their hands, jumping and sweating, getting pushed and shoved in tune with the beat. As a fan of the band already and having listened to all of their music, I knew they’d be great live. Did I know they’d be this great? Not a chance. King Gizzard and The Lizard Wizard will be the band you will hear everyone say, ‘You have to see them live’. It was just great band, after great band at Gizzfest, and if you were about to lose your mind because of all the sheer rock awesome-ness going on inside, you could pop outside where the DJs were spinning everything from Biggie to Bob Marley and have yourself a good old boogie. Nice work King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard, the Barwon Club and all the other bands on the bill, from the dodgy sounding name to the very last chord struck, Gizzfest was brilliant and I’m a little sad it’s all over! Reviewed by Montana Agustin

Lloyd Spiegel

WILL MARVEL TV HANDLE THE PUNISHER IN A WAY THAT HE DESERVES? Just last week, Jon Bernthal (best known as Shane in The Walking Dead) was cast as Frank Castle ( AKA The Punisher) slated to appear in Daredevil season two. Now before we begin, I’ll admit I haven’t seen Daredevil yet – none of it. Yeah, yeah, I’ll get around to it. I’ve just been busy. However, this is big news. Since the Punisher rights were reverted back to Marvel, speculation has been rife about what happens to the homicidal vigilante, a popular character and one of my personal favourites. Let’s be quite clear. The Punisher hasn’t really had the best treatment when it come to his live action representation. He’s had three movies now and none of them have been particularly good or have got Castle right. The Punisher. (1989)

Filmed in Sydney, (though you wouldn’t know it) this first film was a key starring role for Dolph Lundgren. While he looks the part, Lundgren carries himself through the film like he’s half asleep. Yes, Frank is a man of few words. Yes, he’s grim, brooding, dark and tormented, but he’s not devoid of personality. Let’s face it, while he has a unique kind of appeal (at least if you grew up with his movies) Lundgren’s just not a strong actor. Also, just because the vigilante is rather monosyllabic, it doesn’t mean you can just slum it and not treat Frank with any kind of respect. Unfortunately the film is rushed, cheap and a bit shoddy. The biggest crime is that Castle wears no body armour and no skull insignia. The one iconic thing that makes him stand out. That awesome symbol is nowhere to be found. Wrong, just SO wrong. It’s not totally without merit though. It’s violent, which is how a Punisher film needs to be. Jeroen Krabbe (The Fugitive) plays an effectively sleazy mob boss. The film’s chief villain is a cold blooded Yakuza woman named Lady Tanaka, who’s actually very scary. Then you have oddly placed, yet amusing comic relief in the form of Shakes, an informer ally of The Punisher who is also an alcoholic theatre actor. Oh, and the always welcome Louis Gossett Jr is in it too. I guess the best way I can say it is this; as a dodgy B-grade movie. It’s OK, but as a Punisher film, it’s a failure. The Punisher. (2004)

The one with Thomas Jane and probably the best known film of the three. I still remember my high expectations for this. Jonathan

Youtube:

Punisher: War Zone. (2008)

Arguably the worst one yet, although the saving grace is that Ray Stevenson was perfectly cast as Castle. He’s huge, tired, melancholy, yet cold, determined, focused and very pissed off. You feel a slight piece of his humanity inside – but only just. The body armour/costume and logo was well done. He finally looks the part. Unfortunately he’s again trapped in a movie where the director just doesn’t get it. We don’t want garish neon colours in a Punisher film. We want blacks, greys, blues and lots and lots of blood red. We don’t want cartoonish overacting from the villains, we want psychopaths that we can’t wait to see die. It’s a disaster. I’ll leave it at that. So, fourth time’s a charm? At least now, The Punisher can be fully integrated into the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and will hopefully be able to interact with the likes of Spider-Man and Captain America in time. For now, he’s restricted to a guest role on a TV series, but that doesn’t mean that he won’t find himself an opportunity to appear in the films, where he could really shine and hopefully even lead his own solo film again. I know I’d dearly love to tackle Frank’s story! Make no mistake, Frank is an anti-hero and obviously slated to butt heads with Daredevil, a character he’s had a dysfunctional relationship with for decades in Marvel comics. For all that Daredevil does beating up criminals, he objects to murder and therefore objects to the Punisher’s brutal methods. They’ve never got along. But Frank respects Daredevil

I won’t lie, Castle’s willingness to eradicate the worst of society can be immensely appealing. We live vicariously through his violence and feel some kind of justice that in the world filled with abuse, pain and horror, evil can get its comeuppance. So I guess the question is, how truthfully will Marvel portray Frank and his journey? The Marvel films have thus far avoided getting too violent and Frank’s darkness is several tones bleaker than that of anyone we’ve seen in the MCU yet. The Daredevil series though, from what I’ve heard, doesn’t take a soft approach to violence. Ultimately we want to see Marvel TV and the MCU collide and interact more and more, but will the tonal shifts be too different? Can you imagine Castle and Ant-Man teaming up? Or The Vision? Captain America would be really interesting as they’re both soldiers and Frank actually idolises him. In fact, in the Civil War comic book storyline, in a fight, Frank refused to hit back. I think taking a guest star approach to Frank’s merging into Marvel’s live action entertainment is the best idea. After three films that all misfired, Marvel has time to test the waters and find a new strategy. I don’t know that a gun toting vigilante with no compunctions towards killing will ever have the widespread appeal, exposure and prioritisation that Marvel gives The Avengers and Spider-Man (I can guarantee he won’t) but that doesn’t matter. While he’s not going to be promoted with Happy Meal tie ins and appear on kid’s lunchboxes in the department stores (as great as that lunchbox sounds) it doesn’t mean he can’t still have a solo film and his own place in comic book cinema, treated faithfully and with loving care and detail. As for the casting, well, I was rooting for Ray Stevenson to return. If he wasn’t already cast as Captain America’s foe Crossbones in that film series, I would have gone along with the other popular nomination, Frank Grillo, however that’s not to be. So we have Benrthal. It should be interesting. Shane started off as a likeable character in The Walking Dead until he became insufferable and irritating. I suppose that is a testament to Bernthal’s acting skill to change the audience’s feelings so strongly. I hope he can offer sympathy to Frank, whilst making us conflicted and uncomfortable about supporting a mass murderer. I can visualise Bernthal in costume, so he’s got that going for him and he is a convincing tough guy. So while he’s not my first choice, I think he’s a good one and I also know we could have done MUCH worse. Can you imagine say…Orlando Bloom playing The Punisher? Yeah, no. Written by Sean Watts. Read NEW feature articles everyday on torrentthis.tv

The Top 10 Animated Movies Of All Time

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8 Useless Facts About Cheez TV 1. J ade and Ryan went to school

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Hensleigh was writing and directing, who’s he? He co-wrote The Rock and wrote Die Hard With A Vengeance, that’s who. Two of my favourite action films ever. This is a man who knows old school, tough men and combat. But what we got was neutered, soft, bland and underwhelming. I like Tom Jane and I admire his enthusiasm for Castle, but he’s just not the right fit. Castle’s a tank, a brick shithouse, full of muscle, height and sheer intimidation. Jane doesn’t scare me. The Punisher skull symbol, while present, is redesigned and lacks impact. John Travolta (usually a great villain) is campy and silly. There’s too much emphasis on humour and there’s very little action. Even when act three finally erupts into violence, it’s all too short and plodding. I want carnage in my vigilante films, I want spectacle and imaginative, high scale gunplay. This felt cartoonish. Another failure.

in a certain way. He also feels the same about Spider-Man (who he also shares a long, similar history with since he was first introduced as an antagonist in 1974). Frank has a soft spot for them but thinks they are delusional with their no killing stance. All three of those also have a long history with Wilson Fisk: the Kingpin, Daredevil’s arch rival. Daredevil’s other big enemy, Bullseye (yet to debut in the MCU) is also a great foe of The Punisher. Frank’s characterisation has slightly changed over the years. Once portrayed as a hardline, out of control villain, he was such a strict vigilante against criminals that he once gunned down some jaywalkers. Thankfully, he’s been retconned to really only go after truly horrific criminals. His body count is no smaller, he still shoots, stabs, bludgeons and blows up bad guys with extreme prejudice in great numbers, but there’s still something sympathetic about Frank. I care about him. I can imagine how torn apart he feels after his wife and two kids were murdered after being caught in the middle of a mafia gunfight. I imagine the rage within and the yearning to meet out justice with an eye for an eye. And I find myself wishing that he can heal a little bit, find some kind of redemption, but I know that can never be. In the comics, Frank has a seriously dark path. He wants to die and be with his family in the afterlife but he’s going to take down as many criminals as he can before he does and he WILL die on the job. His mission, his war on crime is ultimately futile though, since no matter how many people he kills, more bad guys just take their place. He’ll never take them all out. My purpose wasn’t so much to write a love letter to The Punisher. In spite of critics that feel he’s one dimensional and just another everyday vigilante with a cool skull on his body to make him stand out, I think he’s got plenty of potential and awesome stories in him. In fact, I’d kind of call him Marvel’s more morally ambiguous answer to DC’s Batman. Why? Because he’s one of the few powerless humans able to hold his own in a universe filled with metahumans and Gods. He’s very intelligent, able to outsmart people way above his league and implement guerilla warfare to wage war and survive. He’s a highly trained ex-special forces operator that can use hand-tohand combat to come out on top in a prison brawl, he is also skilled with any and every weapon (usually guns of course…my God, the guns!) he can get his hands on. And yes, he has a cool name, with a cool skull on his chest. Oh, and a kick arse battle van outfitted with armour and more guns. People tend to have pretty definitive views on whether they approve of Castle’s methods. While I strive towards pacifism myself,

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Film Reviews

Films reviewed by Anthony Morris

the wrap Aloha A former high-flyer tries to get his life back on track in this superficial attempt by Cameron (Jerry Maguire) Crowe to get people to care about a handsome white guy’s problems. He fails.

Entourage All your favourites are back in this aimless, pointless, dragged out version of a once-halfway decent television series. The weather sure does look nice in LA this time of year.

San Andreas

Jurassic World

Inside Out Riley (Kaitlyn Dias) is an average 11-year-old girl, ruled by her emotions like everyone else: specifically Joy (Amy Poehler), Sadness (Phyllis Smith), Fear (Bill Hader), Anger (Lewis Black) and Disgust (Mindy Kaling), who live and work inside ‘Headquarters’ – the control room inside her head. There’s a lot more going on inside Riley’s head: Memories are glowing spheres that are tinged with colourcoded emotions – most as sent off to long-term storage, while a few (the core memories) are retained and used as touchstones for who she is – there are entire islands of personality (Family, Justice, Hockey, etc) powered by those memories… basically it’s a pretty complex set-up, and Joy is the over-riding emotion that rules Riley life.

When Riley’s family moves across the country, the resulting stress – plus Sadness’ new ability to turn once happy memories blue – puts all that delicate machinery inside her head under serious strain. Then, when an accident strands Joy and Sadness deep in the wilds of Riley’s long term memory, they have to race through the wild landscape of her mind to make it back to Headquarters before Riley does something she’ll regret forever. Pixar’s latest (directed by Pete Docter and Ronaldo Del Carmen) is a massive return to form for the once sure-fire studio. And not just because it contains moments that will make the hardest hearts sob uncontrollably; remember how the big moments that made Pixar what it was were almost always amazingly sad in one way or another (let’s not even talk about the opening of Up)? This is worse. And

yet, by making Sadness an integral part of the story (and Riley’s life) it also makes a very strong case for sadness being a vital part of life – which is exactly what you’d expect from a studio who’s biggest emotional moments have all been tear-jerkers. Fortunately there’s a whole lot more going on here than just sadness: this is extremely playful (Riley’s mind features a movie studio dream factory, “abstract thought” zone where concepts are broken down to basics, and a grim “memory hole” for forgetting) and often hilarious, piling joke on top of joke while still managing to be surprisingly rigorous in its exploration of a pre-teen’s shifting and evolving feelings. It’s a lot smarter than it looks and it looks pretty smart once it gets going: this is easily one of the best films of the year for children or adults.

Far From the Madding Crowd

Love & Mercy One of the big problems biopics face is how to condense an entire life down into a two hour film. Love & Mercy takes a slightly unusual approach to covering the life of Beach Boys’ creative powerhouse Brian Wilson: for the band’s glory days in the ‘60s he’s played by Paul Dano, while for the darker times in the ‘80s John Cusack takes on the role. It’s a good idea, even if it doesn’t always work: they both have the thousand yard-stare of Wilson, but – even with it made clear that the near-total breakdown Wilson went through in the late ‘60s and ‘70s has all but literally made him a new person – the two halves don’t mesh as well as they should. Not that the actors (who both give great performances) should shoulder all the blame there, as this is pretty much two different films held together by the same character. In the ‘60s scenes, Wilson is a creative powerhouse on the up and up, taking full advantage of ditching his touring duties to explore new ways of making music in the studio with the legendary ‘Wrecking Crew’ backing band. The scenes that really dig down into the creative process are the film’s strongest parts. With Wilson’s troubled past (his overbearing, abusive, coldly 68 forte

businesslike father is never far from mind, if only rarely seen) sketched in for colour. Gradually his mental issues – depicted here as part of his creativity (basically, the music he hears turns sour) – start to overwhelm him, and conflicts with the band (especially Mike Love) soon have it all falling apart. In the ‘80s scenes, Wilson meets an ex-model turned car salesman (Elizabeth Banks) and they develop a relationship under the watchful and controlling eye of his shrink, a clearly evil man because he’s played by Paul Giamatti in full wig-mode. Despite a great performance from Banks these scenes don’t work quite as well, largely due to a nagging feeling that we’re not getting the full story (these sections are based on a book by the real-life version of her character) behind Wilson’s near-captivity. Still, Banks and Cusack have great chemistry and her attempts to rescue him from his cartoony evil shrink and his goon squad keep things moving. Splitting Wilson’s life into two halves doesn’t quite succeed in giving us a fully rounded picture of the man (which the film itself seems to realise, suddenly piling on flashbacks and childhood memories as ‘60s Wilson breaks down), but – in those ‘60s composing scenes at least – it does an excellent job of showing us why he’s worth the effort.

Thomas Hardy isn’t exactly known as the master of feel-good 19th century literature. Imagine a grimmer, bleaker Jane Austin: that’s pretty much the starting point. So it’s something of a surprise to find that while this adaptation of his novel Far From the Madding Crowd certainly has its grimmer moments, on the whole it’s more concerned with the struggles of the heart than of avoiding a grim fate. Bathsheba Everdene (Carey Mulligan) is an independent woman at a time and place (Victorian England) when that was a novelty, and while her headstrong ways attract the attention of local sheep farmer Gabriel Oak (Matthias Schoenaerts), she is too much her own woman to submit to any man

This is the kind of reboot – it seems we’re now pretending the second and third films in the Jurassic Park series never happened – that relies so much on nostalgia it actually ends up being about nostalgia. Jurassic Park has been open for years now and while it’s a hit, audiences are getting bored. They want something that gives them the thrill they had back when they first saw real-life dinosaurs. The parks solution? Create a new, genetically engineered super-dino to scare the pants off the crowds. This is obviously a great idea for a film but a very bad idea for the people in the film, as the dino promptly outsmarts it’s keepers then busts out to go on a murder spree – yes, they’ve created a serial killer dinosaur – while everyone else that isn’t hunky park ranger-slash dino trainer Owen (Chris Pratt) panics. There are humans in this film but there’s zero reason to care about any of them: the two kids who are meant to be our focus are respectively a sex-mad teen and an exposition-bot, their aunt (Bryce

Dallas Howard) who is also the boss of the park first largely ignores them then when things go totally wrong focuses totally on them rather than actually running the park (some people have said that her keeping her high heels on throughout the film is some kind of feminist statement; those people are wrong), and everyone else is a one-note joke there solely to die in a never-quitegory-or-crazy-enough fashion. The dinosaur effects are good, not great. The few times the film goes for practical effects over CGI creatures really stand out as seeming a whole lot more real. The problem isn’t that this isn’t silly, it’s that it’s not silly enough: why have hordes of screaming, fleeing tourists on dino island if the dinos aren’t going to devour them by the handful? Owen having trained attack raptors isn’t the worst idea ever; having much of their scenes involving power dynamics within the group isn’t the best. But in the end this is big screen dinos running amok and everybody young or old can get behind that; no wonder it’s had the biggest box office opening of all time.

no matter what he can offer her. Swiftly after her rebuttal, their positions are reversed: she inherits a large farm and becomes its mistress, while he loses his flock and becomes a nomad. Wandering from farm to farm, he comes across a burning barn and helps save it; when it turns out to be Bathsheba’s, she hires him. Meanwhile her wealthy middle-aged neighbour William Boldwood (Michael Sheen) has also taken a fancy to her – but again, while she feels friendship towards him, she makes it clear that if he ever asked for her hand she would refuse. And then in blows handsome wastrel Sergeant Frank Troy (Tom Sturridge), and Bathsheba – who’s never even been so much as kissed – is smitten. There’s not a great deal going on beneath this tale of a woman who gradually comes to moderate her passions and find the right

path in life, but all the pleasures of taking in this kind of 19th century drama – the tortures of love denied, for the most part – are here in full force. While Bathsheba’s suitors are generally tormented types yearning for what they cannot have, both Sheen and Schoenaert manage to give their yearning a stoic edge that makes them all the more desirable, and while Sturridge’s performance is pitched much more broadly it suits his role. Much of his appeal to her is meant to come from the fact that he acts on his passions rather than merely makes a muted declaration of love then smolders away for months when she says no. In the central role, Mulligan effortlessly carries the film, whether firmly making it clear she’ll be treated as any man’s equal or letting her façade slip to reveal someone that, like everyone else in this highly entertaining film, just wants to love and be loved.

over, with Geoffrey Rush’s dulcet tones narrating their journey from dinosaur times through henchmen service for Pharaohs, Dracula and Napoleon, before creating their own hideaway in the snowy wastes (thus avoiding them serving any more recent real-life bad guys). But when boredom takes hold of the tribe, three minions – Stuart, Kevin and Bob – head out into the world to find a new super villain to lead them. Slightly surprisingly it turns out the year is now 1968, and after some adventures in hippie-era

New York they discover all the serious villain action is happening down in Orlando, Florida at a secret bad guy convention where Scarlet Overkill (the voice of Sandra Bullock) is the main attraction. What follows is mostly manic and generally makes sense (at the time), as Overkill takes them to the UK to steal the Crown Jewels while the rest of the Minions tribe decides to follow them out into the world. The one-off jokes are strong, the three lead minions have enough character to hold up the central story, the animation does the job without being overly impressive, and if the whole thing doesn’t quite reach the heights of this year’s other animated sidekick spin-off, the recent Madagascar side project featuring the nutty penguins… well, those guys got to talk. When you’re inexplicably popular, sometimes you don’t have to try quite as hard: this is always entertaining, but there’s not a lot here that sticks.

Minions Minions, for those not in the know, are those inexplicably popular sidekicks from the Despicable Me movies – yellow guys wearing goggles and overalls, kinda shaped like packing peanuts, speaking in a weird, vaguely European-sounding gibberish? And while the “inexplicably popular” part explains why they have their own spin-off movie, the speaking in gibberish part would seem like at least a moderate hurdle to building a big budget kid’s franchise out of them and them alone. The initial, somewhat clunky solution to this is to tell the origin story of the minions – they emerged from the primordial ooze fully formed with their two main characteristics already present: a desire to serve the biggest, baddest guy around, and the ability to make sure they messed up the plans of said bad guy – via voice-

When an earthquake flattens LA, it’s a good thing The Rock is in a helicopter. Especially as the earthquake is heading north to San Francisco – where his daughter is. Rescue time! Well, the effects look ok at least.

Spy Melissa McCarthy’s latest comedy is her strongest and funniest outing yet, as she plays a back office support staffer sent out on a mission to prevent an arms dealer (Rose Byrne) from peddling a nuke to the bad guys. An all star cast provides valuable back-up, but Jason Statham is hilarious as a parody of his usual tough guy roles.

Mad Max: Fury Road If you like brilliant car chases and non-stop action, then this is easily the movie of the year. If you don’t, you should probably stay away as this film knows exactly what it wants to be and isn’t interested in doing anything else. Romance? Comedy? Anything that doesn’t involve a howling pack of nutters racing around the desert? You’ve come to the wrong film.

Tomorrowland Even director Brad Bird (The Incredibles) can’t save Disney’s latest theme park movie from preachiness, but there are just enough moments of brilliance in this tale of an other-dimensional city that once held the hope of all mankind to make this muddled film at least a memorable mess.

Pitch Perfect 2 Everyone’s back, only this time there isn’t really all that much point to their somewhat aimless and meandering adventures, making this a lot less engaging than the first film – unless you just want to hang out with the characters for 100 minutes doing not much.

Poltergeist This remake of the horror classic is, like pretty much all horror remakes, shorter and less subtle, though there’s the occasionally mildly creepy moment to remind you why the first film is still considered worth a look.

Woman in Gold In the days before World War 2, Maria Altmann (Helen Mirren) and her husband fled Austria, leaving behind almost everything – including a painting of her aunt by Klimt. Now living in L.A., she wants it back, and when she teams up with a young lawyer (Ryan Reynolds) the result is… well, at least the actors seems to be having fun.

Music Reviews

Big Winter

Fiona Boyes

Gateway Drugs

I’lls

SMALL THINGS

BOX & DICE

MAGICK SPELLS

Independent

Blue Empress Records

Cooking Vinyl Australia

CAN I GO WITH YOU TO GO BACK TO MY COUNTRY

It’s worth taking a look at the cover as you listen to this one as it captures the feeling entirely. The release gives a sense of coming home and that serene silence of night all rolled into seven tracks. At times it feels very old timely, like in opening number ‘Stars’. If there’s one qualm, it’s that at times the vocals don’t quite match the music. The instruments overpower the lyrics, whether that’s a recording issue or not, it’s hard to determine. Though this is something that surely would come across a lot different in a live setting. Though that’s not to say the vocals aren’t impressive, as in track ‘Firebird’ they hit notes that make you stop whatever you’re doing. This track’s a bit of a slow burner, slowly developing layer upon layer and enveloping you in a beautiful rhythmic dream. By no surprise it’s one of the hits of the release. Beyond vocals, each song covers varying topics of travel, reflection, love and loss. One I found particularly engaging lyrically was ‘Simple Ideas’. To sum it up, this is a great offering for those who love the anthemic, slow build tracks that are heavy on piano/keys. This is the kind of release you’d put on while reading a book, drinking a glass of wine or sitting by the fire with friends. Reviewed by Amanda Sherring

Long acknowledged as one of Australia’s finest blues guitarists, Fiona Boyes has a strong fan base across the globe. A peerless passion for the craft has driven her prolific recording and touring career. The others stars of this show are her instruments. For latest release, Box & Dice, Boyes reached way back to bring us something new. Her Maton Mastersound electric guitar is on hand as always. But the acquisition of some new tools of trade inspired the making of this album. The new babies she’s keen to show off are an old school 6-string ‘Box & Dice’ cigar box guitar and a National Resolectric baritone guitar – the latter one of only two in existence. Yackandandah guitar maker Shayne Soall tempted her with another new love. His 4-string cigar box guitar features the image of an FB Holden, making it one of the most eye-catching pieces you’ll find. Boyes is joined by rhythm masters Dean Addison (double bass) and Mark Grunden (drums, junk and Cajun percussion). Colin Wynne tastefully drove the tech side at Thirty Mill Studios. Electric finger-picking rhythms, swampy slide, classics and originals are rolled out to showcase Boyes’ endless quest to tell – and sing – the story of the blues. There’s Bessie Smith’s ‘Black Mountain Blues’ and Howlin’ Wolf ’s ‘Smokestack Lightning’ among the righteous treasures. More than a cigar box full of fun. Reviewed by Chris Lambie

If gateway drugs lead to making music this great, then hook me up! The moody and brooding album, Magick Spells from L.A. based band, Gateway Drugs, has all the ingredients for an album that’ll stand the test of time. Alternative rock, punk, garage rock – whatever you want to call it – Magick Spells is one mighty fine album. There are definitely instrumentals and vocals that are reminiscent of ‘90s rock, and in some tracks these guys kind of remind me of Magic Dirt, which is always a good thing, right? I’m going to be boring and uncontroversial when I say that there wasn’t one track I didn’t dig, but it’s true, they all brought something a little different to the musical table. Tracks worth a mention though are; ‘Anu’, ‘Friday’s Are For Suckers’ and ‘I’m In Love With A Teenage Heartthrob’, which is probably my favourite track on the album. The last track, ‘Magick Spells’, which also happens to be the title track, is another standout with its doleful melodies and afflicted lyrics like ‘I don’t care anymore, what you do to me.’ From lazy guitar riffs to big rock sounds, there’s something for every mood and emotion. The melancholy lyrics only add to the overall sorrowful vibe going on in Magick Spells, and when I say sorrowful I mean it in the best possible ‘pining-over-love’ kind of way. Here’s to hoping they come to Australia and play a gig! Reviewed by Montana Agustin

Solitaire Recordings

Lenka

Mike Waters

Sean Patrick

The Pretty Littles

THE BRIGHT SIDE

LIFE EP

PARADIGM

GOSPEL

Skipalong/Hickory Records

Independent

It’s been a while since there’s been an upperty pop-folk singer to hit the industry like Fiest with her ‘ 1, 2, 3, 4’ and Lenka is the best replacement if there were any – at least while she’s not releasing anything else. And with an album titled The Bright Side, you’d expect nothing else. ‘The Long Way Home’ starts off with cheery cranked up to 11, but with all the tinny percussion and smiling lyrics, you can’t help but want to skip down the street with a cheesy grin plastered on your face. Though don’t be fooled by the first song, as the rest of the album doesn’t follow on suit, luckily because there’s only so long you can hold a smile for. If anything the deeper you get into the album Lenka delves into more traditional pop tunes. Her vocals suit the genre to a tee, and she can easily flick from spoken lyrics to high notes and back again. ‘Free’ is a highlight for me purely for the beat that it has. It’s a little bit jungle-esque with hand-clapping set in the background and the lyrics are damn simple – which is what you want. I just can’t shake the feeling though that these songs should definitely be on a Disney soundtrack already. Are you listening Disney? ‘Go Deeper’ is a moment of clarity where Lenka touches on a darker pop sound, one that’s not heard much throughout the album. While she touches on topics with a surprising insight and wisdom, there’s a rawness and innocence to her voice. Though it all fits into a nice little package, and as a result Lenka has created a nice happy little release. Reviewed by Amanda Sherring

Mike Waters has been a slave to the corporate world. Putting on a suit and tie and going to work for the man, he has finally released his debut EP entitled Life. Written while Waters was sitting around in his bedroom, nobody was aware of the talent that this guy has. Having played shows with Jay Brannan and Lewis Watson, I highly suggest that you check this guy out. He’s like Passenger and really follows the singer songwriter format, however that said, this is simplistic pop music that is certain to put a smile on your face. Hot summer afternoons with a drink by the pool is the scenario that comes to mind as I listen to the opening track ‘Daisy’. Produced by John Castle, who has worked with the likes of Megan Washington, Vance Joy and just finished working on Josh Pyke’s new record, it’s quite surprising that we haven’t heard from Mike Waters before. ‘Gambling Man’ is another highlight on this EP and something that you should definitely get around. Having played on 774 and Channel 31, it’s only a matter of time before Mike Waters is a household name in the Australian acoustic scene. His songs are blowing up and you want to be one of the first to say you knew him before he was big right? Acoustic pop at it’s best, make Life a space in your record collection because his song ‘Gambling Man’ will be in your head for days. Reviewed by Tex Miller

If you’ve grown up in the Geelong region all your life, you may remember a little metal band called Empire’s Fall, guitarist for that outfit was Sean McDonnell. Now he is a certified blues man with his debut solo EP Paradigm released recently. First up, the boy can play. The guitar work on this EP is simply infectious and at times hypnotic as Sean Patrick trail blazes across the fretboard with a variety of pentatonic scales. In a drop tuning, the songs are melodic and full of brilliant lyrics. Straight up, this EP is tremendous song writing, which is best seen in the song ‘Irish Boy Of Ballinrobe’. Accompanied by Alister Turrill, local blues troubadour, I feel that the instrumental breaks of this song could be used in a suspenseful scene building moment of Game of Thrones, it sounds like if an instrumental take of this track was to be produced then it would fit perfectly on a drama TV show soundtrack. Having launched this disc recently at Beav’s Bar to rave reviews, be sure to get your hands on this disc. Guitar enthusiasts, and music lovers alike, will find something to enjoy on this release. This debut is fantastic and it will be interesting to see where Sean Patrick goes from here, because how will he up the ante on the next release? Only time will tell. Reviewed by Tex Miller

The Pretty Littles get in your head and extract all those thoughts hidden in the dark little crevices of the mind. The new album, Gospel, may only be eight tracks long, but it’s eight tracks of rock perfection. These guys aren’t trying to prove anything, they’re just playing great garage rock that’s honest, laid back and lyrically on the money. Not only are the instrumentals killer but they have such a way with words, nailing every lyric. Life is messy, we all screw up and we often find ourselves thinking strange things – The Pretty Littles sum all of this up really nicely in this album. They’re all standout tracks, so it’s really hard to pick, but personally I loved ‘Sinkin’ Feeling’, it’s full of good old fashioned rock riffs and attitude. ‘Dangerman’, ‘Religion Is My Favourite’ and ‘Local Footy’ are also standout tracks, but like I said, it’s hard to pick as they’re all great. Gospel is full of dark ideas, rage and attitude. To sum up the sentiment in one sentence, I would say; ‘My life is kind of a mess, part of me likes it and shit I’m having a lot of fun in the meantime.’ I’ve found a new favourite in The Pretty Littles and I can’t wait to check them out live! Reviewed by Montana Agustin

Every now and then an album comes along where I’m stuck for words. My musical knowledge seems obsolete and I can’t think of a single thing to piece together in order to describe how the album sounds. I’lls has done this to me, but in the best possible way and so I thank them for it! My main advice is to put this on and close your eyes, there’s really nothing else you need to do. In ‘Aves’ each sound rolls over the other and the tracks just seem to flow seamlessly from the speakers, guided of course by Simon Lam’s vocals. Second track off the bat, ‘A / B / A’ is a bit punchier with more synth than the last, the serenity is a bit less in this track but the fluidity is there. Don’t even bother asking me how they manage to stay so fluid with that much synth and sound effects, I can’t even begin to explain why. Favourite for me is ‘Keep’ which seems to strike the happy medium between the two previous tracks. ‘Substitutions’ also sits pretty high on the list for amping things up a bit. Can I Go With You To Go Back To My Country is a great release for those who are looking for the next big thing in synth, rhythmic music production, because I’lls are it. Reviewed by Amanda Sherring

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Last Words

grog watch Tony “Let’s Get Ready to Rumble” Montana

One of the things the internet is really good for is letting you know just how limited your range of conversational topics are. I mean, we all know that we like to crap on about basically the same old stuff over and over and over again, but thanks to the many and varied forms of online chat it’s never been easier to actually go back over old conversations just to confirm that yes, they really are pretty much just the same handful of topics being covered again and again and again. Sure, this isn’t exactly news to me, what with me having written this column for the last billion years and only ever having covered three topics – booze, idiots on public transport, and being thrown off public transport for being a drunken idiot – but that doesn’t make it any less

depressing when I had to trawl back through months worth of conversation with a mate looking for a link I’d sent him and discovered that literally the only things we talked about were booze prices (ok, that was mostly me) and how annoying this mutual acquaintance of ours is. Don’t get me wrong though, I was depressed for him: he’s got a wife and child and a job and all that other crap, so in theory his life should be all sunshine and lollipops. Whereas I’m exactly the kind of bitter drunk you’d expect to be spewing hate every chance he gets. Basically, I’ve already given up on myself ever becoming a decent member of society, but this guy? Seriously dude, lift your game and kick that loser you’re hanging out with to the curb. And after you’ve ditched me, maybe start avoiding that annoying acquaintance too. The upside about having nothing better to do than spew out drunken hate-filled rants is that, over time, you start to get good at them. For starters,

the thing you should keep in mind when it comes to hatin’ on someone is that you should always assume that at some point they’re going to find out about your hate – c’mon people, we’re talking about the internet here, everything comes to the surface eventually. So every time you unleash a tirade, you should always be specific. You really need to drill down into your hate to figure out exactly what it is that annoys you. That’s because it’s pretty much guaranteed that your hate will eventually be seen by a): the person you hate, and b): a bunch of people who don’t care either way. So your mission should always be to try and win over the people who don’t care, and to provide maximum hurtful insight to the target of your hatred. Which means that crappy basic lame-o hatin’ like “you suck” is out: you’re not persuading anyone with that junk, and if your target actually sees it they’re going to dismiss you as a moron. You don’t want that. You want them to take what you have

GAME OF THRONES QUIZ!

8. W hat was the name of the castle where Arya and Gendry were held prisoner in season two?

So you watch Game of Thrones, but how well do you really know Game of Thrones? Challenge your friends, see who is the bigger fan with our latest quiz! Check your answers below and share your score with us on Facebook or Instagram!! #fortemag

12. What is the name of someone who can enter the minds of animals?

1. What is the Hound’s real name? 2. Before leaving for the wall, Jon Snow gives his sister Arya what as a gift? 3. W hat was the name of the witch burned alive by Daenerys on the funeral pyre of Khal Drogo? 4. There are six direwolf cubs adopted by the Stark children (and Jon Snow); Grey Wind, Lady, Ghost, Shaggydog, Summer and...?

5. When Tyrion Lannister is freed from the dungeons upon his execution, who does he find in his father Tywin’s bed? 6. When Margaery visits Tommen in the middle of the night, what does Tommen say Joffrey wanted to do to his cat Ser Pounce? 7. Why does Daenerys banish Ser Jorah Mormont from Meereen?

to say into account and to consider that maybe – just maybe – you might have a point. Which means you really do have to have a point (duh). Is someone annoying to you? Then figure out why they’re annoying – just saying “man, they’re annoying” is pointless, because you wouldn’t be hating on them if they weren’t annoying. You have to go deeper, my friend – dig right down into why it is that they suck. Say you’re talking about someone who has drifted into your professional sphere and is suddenly acting like they’re an expert on all things. By definition, this is annoying behaviour. But you have to go deeper. If they’re name-dropping (again, annoying), that in itself isn’t enough. Are they namedropping to add to the conversation, or just to bring attention back to themselves? When they drop a name, do they go on to make that name relevant to the conversation? Or is the name irrelevant to the matter at hand? And do they actually know enough

about the name they’re dropping to justify their clanger, or do they just know a quote or two that they deploy to give a thin veneer of knowledge to their burblings? That’s the kind of effort you have to put in if you’re going to be serious about hatin’ – and that’s only the beginning. Once you burrow all the way down into something like name-dropping, you have to remember; you’re still only just talking about name-dropping, and namedropping ain’t shit. If they’re worthy of the industrial-strength hatin’ you’re about to deliver, they can’t just be some annoying name-dropper. They’ve got to be a worthy target. You’ve got to work on your hate game until your hate isn’t just about petty minor things – it’s about utter contempt for every fibre of their being. And when you’re that full of hate, they’ve got to deserve it, otherwise you’re just wasting you time. They’ve got to be name-dropping AND annoyingly random AND have wild mood swings AND be totally self-

absorbed to such an extent that they turn every little thing in their life into a grand drama AND they also symbolise the cruddy state of the world today where being a marginally competent loud-mouth means you move ahead of people with actual ability AND even then if you’re serious about hatin’ that’s not going to be enough of a reason for you to totally dismantle their life. Because that’s what happens when you’re really serious about hatin’: if you can do it right, there’s no-one out there worth doing it to. Good thing I’m just a drunk on the internet, hey.

9. What is the name of the first Game of Thrones episode? 10. What did Littlefinger use to hide the poison to kill Joffrey? 11. What is Tyrion Lannister also known as?

13. Who orders Jon Snow to stop training the other men at Castle Black as he is a steward now? 14. After leaving a dying The Hound, Arya uses a coin to buy passage on a ship bound for Braavos. Who gave her the coin? 15. How many horn blasts from the wall signal White Walkers approaching?

ANSWERS: 1. Sandor Clegane / 2. A sword / 3. Mirri Maz Duur / 4. Nymeria / 5. Tyrion’s past lover Shae / 6. Skin him alive and mix his innards into Tommen’s food so he didn’t know he was eating the cat. 7. He had been spying on her for Robert Baratheon / 8. Harrenhal / 9. Winter is Coming / 10. Sansa’s necklace / 11. The Imp / 12. A warg / 13. Ser Alliser Thorne / 14. Jaqen H’ghar / 15. Three 70 forte

HAVE YOU HAD A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE? Have you escaped death? Had glimpses of hell, or heaven? Did you live to tell your tale of dying? Back to Back Theatre is a Geelong-based theatre company that makes shows and then tours them around the world. Back to Back is led by a group of actors that are perceived to have disabilities.

As part of our research for our next show, we are hoping to speak with people who have had near death experiences.

We can offer you a cup of coffee and a safe and supportive environment to share your story, at a place and time that suits you.

If you have had a near death experience and are willing to volunteer thirty minutes of your time to talk with Back to Back, please contact us:

For more information on Back to Back Theatre please call or email us, or visit www.backtobacktheatre.com

PHONE: 5221 2029

Back to Back Theatre is located at 60 Little Malop Street Geelong VIC 3220.

EMAIL: tamara@backtobacktheatre.com

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