Bre a k i n g P o i nt :
( a n ot- so-i nd e p t h i nv e stigation )
Contrary to popular belief, my Saturday night was not spent out on the town, but rather wasting away hours trying to come to a decision with my room mate. The conversation went a little like this:
We're now so spoilt for choice with amazing places to eat, that making the decision about where to eat has garnered itself as one of the most important pieces of discussion in society today. You know, aside from things like ISIS and climate change.
Room mate: “I don't know... Pizza?”
It's something that has born many a meme and if it becomes a meme, you know it's important. Most memes however focus on those who are in a relationship, because apparently if you're with a significant other, making decisions is that much harder. So I put it to my colleagues and friends who are loved up to see how they overcome this, not at all, first world problem.
Me: “Nah... At the end of this Friends episode, let's put together a game plan.”
We struggle everyday with this,” says Laura Hayden of Laura Kate events. “We play a game where we take it in turns vetoing everything until there is nothing left... Or I just decide.”
Me: “Ok, I'm hungry now, what do you want to do for dinner?”
20 minutes later... Room mate: “Ok, so what do we want? Indian?” Me: “Nah I don't feel like Indian.” Two hours later, it ended with her going to get McDonald’s and myself scrounging two chicken dippers out of the back of the freezer. Not ideal. But it got me thinking, is this not the conversation of our generation?
Similarly another friend says, “I usually just suggest everything in Geelong. I list off all the different cuisines in a process of elimination until we get to one.” “My friends would have a jar which they would put different places in and then pick it out,” says a colleague. “It would work until one of them would be like 'I DON'T WANT THAT!' Looking at memes, most of them seem to blame the female in the relationship for the indecisiveness but this could just be a case of mansplaining. So, what's a good way to overcome this issue? I personally like the jar idea – or to keep it fair just take it in turns choosing.
Want to get in on our next feature?
All I know is, it's probably not something we'll fix overnight – so Godspeed and stock up on snacks.
contact Caitlin: 0437 937 470 caitlin@Fortémag.com.au
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Great Australian Beer Festival: A massive day of beer tasting, cider and appreciation Written by Talia Rinaldo
Geelong's Great Australian Beer Festival is back this summer at Geelong’s Racecourse for its fifth, and set to be the biggest year yet, according to festival director Michael Ward. “This will be our biggest, it will be our best, it will be the most engaging, and I personally believe there's no better way to kick off a social year in Geelong in summer than over 200 beers and 35-40 ciders to choose from… hey it's brilliant,” he says. “You will just feel compelled to wonder. We have brewers representing every state in Australia, it's really a massive alfresco beer garden in an essence.” With the recent explosion of the Australian craft beer scene, the festival is a celebration of both local and state-wide breweries, showcasing hundreds of different brews with a variety of styles to please everyone. Armed with your festival ticket, festival goers will receive a 200ml tasting glass for copious amounts of beer and cider tastings from the pop up bars in exchange for tokens (where tokens act as cash). The festival currently has 35 brewers involved, including a range of local brewers such as Blackman's Brewery, Little Creatures, and Prickly Moses, as well as Stone & Wood, White Rabbit Brewery and iconic surfer Mick Fanning’s own Balter Brewing Company – just to name a few. “We just want to really foster that understanding and appreciation of our local brewing and give people an opportunity, but always our aim is to have brewers come from all over Australia. We have a waiting list to get in – we are full,” Ward says. “There are so many different recipes and varying tastes of beer. With over 200 beers, no one is going to get through that many beers in a day. Every year we
bringing back new brewers, it's a growing market.” With the aim of fostering an appreciation of craft beer, there will be a series of free seminars over the day giving beer lovers the opportunity to meet and mingle with the brains behind the brands, learn how to taste beer and match beer with cheese and food. Next year’s festival will also see the addition of a fully exclusive VIP area within great viewing of the main stage, unlimited food prepared by Jesse Hughes, unlimited alcohol and private toilets, inspired by a beer festival in NZ’s Hagley Park. With DJ’s playing summer tunes, an international beer hall which aims to represent every continent, and a variety of food trucks and BBQ’s, the festival aims on engaging all the sense. Especially with the inclusion of interactive activities for festival-goers
to participate in, from keg rolling competition on the race track, quirky costume races, beer cabaret with guaranteed quirky acts, and even a beer cocktail corner with George Camorra, former owner of Cloud 9 Lounge Bar who will be creating a variety of beer concoctions using whiskeys and liquors. The musical line-up is another real treat for the festival with The Potbelleez, Richard Clapton, Jon Toogood, Reuben Stone, Mitch King, Luke Morris, Rach Brennan Band, Gerry McKeague and Joss Russell, among others. Ward says putting together this line-up was important to get right, influencing the entire feel of the day. “There's a bit of folk, bit of indie, bit of rock. Sometimes people don't know why they are having a good time, but it's the music. I think it's imperative
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we get that right. We are going to get The Potbellez to close the festival - I think that's a real highlight. People will leave with a real buzz and fond memories.” The Great Australian Beer Festival positions craft beer as a journey, and one which Ward says will be the perfect way to spend a warm summer day in Geelong. “It’s a day of beer tasting, and cider and appreciation. Doesn't get much better.”
When & Where: Geelong Racecourse – February 18 2017 Visit: www.gabfgeelong.com.au for tickets.
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Written by Anthony Morris
Written by Alastair McGibbon
Written by john (dr john) lamp
Written by Paul S. Taylor
By John Foss
Remember when the end of television ratings meant the end of first-run television? Someone must have forgotten to tell the current crop of television programmers that when summer starts, local television stops, because these days the longer the day the greater the chance there’s going to be some new release Australian comedy showing. Over the last few years the ABC has made a habit of stockpiling comedy series to release in a rush towards the end of ratings, presumably so they can finish up the year on a high note in the hope that we’ll all forget those four months when they struggled to show anything past repeats of Q.I. This year the third season of Upper Middle Bogan and new series Rosehaven are currently skidding towards the finish line while Please Like Me’s latest series (final ever? The US network keeping it going shut up shop earlier this year) will run well into December. Depending on your tastes – it seems expecting to laugh at a comedy is a controversial opinion these days – this is either a bumper crop of local comedy or a pile of fairly average stuff, though Upper Middle Bogan is at least a firmly reliable series when it comes to raising a smirk. But that’s hardly the end of the ABC’s run of brand new comedy for 2016, with two new sketch comedy series starting up on iView and ABC2 in December – you know, when ratings have actually finished – spinning out of their earlier Fresh Blood initiative. Wham Bam Thank You Ma’am is an all-girl series, which based on their past efforts means loads of jokes about periods and what life would be like if women sexually harassed men, while Fancy Boy supposedly skews a little more “dark”, which often means sketches that are creepy and go nowhere. But it only takes one good sketch for a show to become a smash hit, so fingers crossed for both of them. And the list still isn’t over: Foxtel’s Comedy Channel has three new local comedy series starting up this weekend (Sunday the 27th), including the return of stand-up showcase Just For Laughs Australia, the long-awaited local version of improv show Whose Line Is It Anyway, and the even longer awaited animated series from Working Dog Pacific Heat. That’s more Australian comedy than we’ve seen for months during the ratings period – way put all these shows on during a period when Australians are traditionally outdoors doing just about anything but watching television? Blame, as always, the Americans: pretty much all these shows (well, Pacific Heat and the two iView sketch shows at least) are co-productions made with American networks, and for them this time of year is prime viewing time. So in a desperate attempt to avoid piracy, they’re being released here roughly in line with their overseas debuts, and if that happens to mean being broadcast to empty rooms here… well, at least they tried. And with overseas money increasingly propping up more and more of our local industry, you can expect to see more of this, especially with more disposable stuff like comedy. Guess it’s time to put that beach cricket game on hold until April.
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Hey everyone! Welcome back to Pulp, your home of all things comic books! Now that I’ve gotten uni out of the way for another year, I’ve actually got a bit of free time to dive back into some of my favourite books; in addition to rereading Preacher – and what a thrill that was! - I was able to re-enter the world of one of my favourites from way back. This week, I’ve picked up Cinderella: Fables Are Forever, a spin-off from Bill Willingham’s classic series Fables. I’ve been a fan of Fables for a while now; I picked up my first volume years ago, which then exploded into a collection of 14 or so (there’s 22 all up!). While my enthusiasm lapsed a little – and I’m yet to actually finish the series – I couldn’t resist the opportunity to dive back in when I spotted the Cindy-centric spin-off sitting on a shelf. While I was initially somewhat sceptical about Fables spin-offs – the Jack of Fables series just never interested me, mostly because I found the character to be annoying – I was pleasantly surprised this time around. Written by iZombie’s Chris Robertson, Fables Are Forever fits perfectly into the excellently crafted Fables world – no small task, as far as I’m concerned. A sequel to From Fabletown With Love, Fables Are Forever follows the adventures of Cinderella – socialite, fashionista and Fabletown’s master spy. Given the black ops and dirty jobs, Cindy roams the word, living the life of a secret agent. As it stands, every secret agent has their nemesis – and Cinderella is no exception. After a powerful magician is found dead bearing the calling card of the Silver Slipper, and another begs her for help, Cindy goes on a worldwide hunt for the woman she thought she’d killed. If it wasn’t already obvious, the Cinderella spin-off is pretty much James Bond with Fables. While it might sound a bit “meh”, it’s still an enjoyable concept. While there aren’t any Martini-soaked Brits running around shooting folks, Cinderella proves to be an interesting protagonist with her own take on espionage. The dark-n-gritty spy life is a nice change of pace compared to the main series; it fills in a gap in the narrative and makes both the main series and this spin-off actually seem like parts of a bigger whole. While the book only briefly touches on Cindy’s time in Fabletown – as well as elements seen in the aforementioned Jack of Fables – it’s a globe-trotting adventure that would make Ian Fleming proud. Robertson and artist Shawn McManus (The Sandman) work remarkably well together, and emulate Willingham and Co with ease. McManus’ artwork wouldn’t look out of place in any Fable-centric book, even if it’s a little more risqué than the usual Fables fare. While it doesn’t have the same kind of scope as Fables, Cinderella’s adventures make for a fascinating look at the more brutal side of a traditionally light-hearted character. While it would certainly help to be versed in the Fables lore/world, it’s not too niche; I have a feeling that first-time readers could pick it up with little to no trouble. The book might be getting on a bit – it was first published in 2012 – and the main series might have finished up, but it’s still a damn good way to get back into a classic series.
proudly presented by the sleepy hollow blues club Bag O’ Nails. I often wonder about the names that bands give themselves. The band Large Number 12 got their name from the pizza they used to get themselves after rehearsal – a large number 12. But Bag O’ Nails, I’ll really have to ask them. If I get an answer, I promise I’ll share it. They’re a Melbourne band, but none the worse for that. Bag O’ Nails have been wowing audiences with their ballsy, riff driven blues/rock since 2004. Their live performances are known for their energy and excitement which they brought to their debut recording “Attitude Blues”. “Little Red Riding Hood” and the original “Get Nailed” are audience favourites - both have become a signature of their unique blues rock offering. Trevor Murray has been playing guitar since his early teens and joined his first band, Dangerous Goods, at 21. At 24, he moved to London and continued to play in various groups before returning to Sydney. Following five years of playing in Sydney with groups such as Black & Blues, he moved back to Melbourne in 2000 and formed Bag O’ Nails, taking up the reins as lead vocalist in 2007. The roll call of the guitars in his life is pretty impressive: 2012 Gibson LP ‘59 VOS, 1974 Gibson LP Custom, 2008 Gibson LP Standard, 1996 USA Fender Stratocaster Plus. No Telecaster? Hmmm… Bass player John ‘Lord’ Hampton hails from London, 1958, and started playing bass in the mid 70’s. He played in various bands throughout England until making a sensible move to Australia in 2004. Soon after he joined Black Sabbath tribute band War Pigs which enjoyed a number of years performing around Australia before disbanding. John came across Bag O’ Nails in 2006 and was a regular at their gigs. When the bass player retired due to health reasons in 2007, John jumped at the opportunity to join the guys. John (Johnny Ouzo ) Veltman started hitting the skins at 13 and began collecting albums from Led Zeppelin, Deep Purple and The Who, to name just a few. He played in various bands in the 80’s and 90’s such as Noisy Neighbours and Scapegoat. In 2009 Bag O’ Nails was in need of a new drummer and John was looking forward to finally playing the blues rock that got him interested in the drums to begin with. Darryl Harrison of the St Andrews Hotel had this to say about the band: “Bag O’ Nails stoked us with their blues rock renditions, performed brilliantly, their way.” If you like your blues doused in downright dirty rock and roll, you won’t want to miss Bag O’ Nails. So Bag O’ Nails will be at Sleepy Hollow on November 27. While you’re at it, check out the new website at www.sleepyhollowblues.club. The other big news is the Bluestone is well on the way yet again to give you an amazing New Year. Hopefully you have seen the ads here in Forte. Should be a great welcome to 2017.
Welcome to THTH, Forte’s premier source of all things heavy, hard, fast and metal. Legendary brothers slash drummers Vinny and Carmine Appice are coming to Australia early next year. The Appice Brothers: Drums Wars will feature the brothers playing some of their greatest hits from previous bands. Both drummers will be on stage and amongst the hits and guest musicians, the brothers will also be holding some massive drum battles, wicked solos and showing off some crazy tricks. Not only will the brothers be performing an amazing live show, together they’ll also hold special drum clinics and for any drummer these clinics are a must and will sell out quickly. Also this fortnight came the announcement that award winning Australian photographer Nic Bezzina will be launching his music photography book Release The Crowd which features black and white photos of music fans at gigs from heaps of places around the world. Considering the time of year, this could make a great present for someone or a great coffee table book for yourself. To sweeten the deal, Nic will be available to sign copies of his book when purchased at the launch. In other news
Ordog’s new album The Grand Wall is out now. Ne Obliviscaris with special guests The Ocean and Jack The Stripper will play 170 Russell Tomorrow night on Friday November 25. Progfest feat. Caligula’s Horse, Cirlces, We Lost The Sea, Chaos Divine, Alithia, Orsome Welles, Transience, Dyssidia, Bear The Mammoth, Figures,Qlaye Face and Enlight will be held at the Corner Hotel on Saturday December 3. Katatonia will play the Corner Hotel on Saturday December 10. Nic Bezzina will launch his photography book Release The Crowd from Sunday December 18 at Melbourne’s BSIDE Gallery. Once Human will release their new album Evolution in January. Daemon Pyre will be at the Tote on Friday January 13. Refused, Sick Of It All and High Tension will play Melbourne’s Prince Of Wales on Tuesday January 24. Soen will release their third album Lykaia on Friday February 3. Periphery will be at Melbourne’s 170 Russell on Sunday February 5. Their new album Periphery III: Select Difficulty is out now. Opeth with special guests Caligula’s Horse will play 170 Russell on Tuesday February 7 (sold out) and Wednesday February 8 (second and final show). The Thrash, Blast and Grind Festival featuring Psycroptic, King Parrot, Whoretopsy, Black Rheno and Revocation will be held at Melbourne’s Max Watts on Friday February 17. The Appice Brothers: Drum Wars full show will be held at Max Watts on Saturday February 18 and the drum clinic will be held at Melbourne’s Croxton Park Hotel the next day on Sunday February 19. Tickets through hardlinemedia.net Nuclear Assault will head to Oz for their first and last time and you can catch them at Melbourne’s Max Watts on Wednesday February 22. Meshuggah and Thy Art Is Murder will play 170 Russell on Tuesday March 14 (sold out) and Wednesday March 15. The Direct Underground Fest featuring Marduk, Gorguts, MGLA, Ulcerate and Departe will be held at the Corner Hotel on Saturday March 18.
If you have any news about local metal bands, shows or albums, let THTH know by emailing to tooheavytohug@ hotmail.com or get in touch via Twitter at @TooHeavyToHug
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Paul Hester… the rescue. There would be very few surfers who had not, at some stage of their lives, rescued someone whilst surfing. Whilst surf live savers get all the credit for patrolling our beaches and pulling people from the water in difficult, and at times treacherous situations, surfers also play an important (and less recognised) role in rescuing people at our beaches. The ocean is no place for people who can’t swim, don’t understand the dynamics of waves and currents, or are just plain drunk. I’ve encountered a couple who were guilty on all three accounts, and it took a member of Crowded House to help save their silly arses. Twenty years ago, I was out surfing crappy low tide Torquay Point. It was late November and the first of the summer Easterlies were blowing on-shore, creating small waves and a strong rip that ran from in front of the clubhouse diagonally out to sea. It was like a liquid conveyor belt heading straight to Tasmania. As the sun started to set, a young, half drunk couple ran down the beach and charged out into the ocean. It didn’t take them long to stumble into the rip and before they knew it, both were heading out to sea. Not far from where I sat waiting for waves, another surfer also saw that the couple were now in trouble, splashing around and looking very nervous. We looked at each other, nodded towards the couple and paddled quickly towards them. Together we rescued the young couple and brought them safely back to dry land using our surfboards. After the rescue, the other surfer and I stood at the waters edge watching the young couple stagger back up the beach. Without saying a word we looked at each other, nodded and went our separate ways. The other surfer who helped with the rescue that day was Paul Hester, former drummer for iconic Australian band Crowded House. We caught up a few times over the years, reminisced about the rescue and had a good chat about surfing and football. Paul passed away tragically eleven years ago. He was one of the nicest blokes I have ever met.
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