SOCIAL ETIQUETTE

The Etiquette of Eating and Drinking

God Almighty decrees that His servants consume the bounties He has conferred upon them, but that they not waste these. The following matters warrant utmost attention in regard to eating and drinking:

1. Hands must be washed before and after eating.

2. One must eat with their right hand, invoke the Name of God, reciting the basmala, at the beginning, eat from what is in front of them, and praise God at the end. Umar ibn Abi Salama narrates: I was yet a boy under the care of God’s Messenger and I used to eat from all sides of the dish. So God’s Messenger said to me, ‘Dear child! Mention the Name of God, eat with your right hand, and eat from what is in front of you.’ This is how I have eaten since.”

3. If the basmala is forgotten at the start and remembered during the meal, one says, “In the Name of Allah at its start and end (Bismillahi awwalahu wa akhirahu).”

4. The meal must not been rushed, the food must be chewed thoroughly, the morsels must not be swallowed one after the other.

5. It is proper that one older in age or higher in position begin eating first.

6. Food must not be breathed upon in order to cool it. Actions and manner causing repulsion in others must be avoided. One must not speak or laugh when their mouth is full.

7. One must not look at what others are eating.

8. The person who prepared the meal must be thanked and acknowledged and one must help in setting and clearing the table.

Cleanliness

The first requirement for deserving God’s love, entering His Presence, and being His servant is cleanliness. It is the first thing we must do to put ourselves in the correct state for performing obligatory daily prayers, which are the “ascension of the believer.” In the following verse God decrees performing ablution or taking a bath for this purpose: “O you who believe! When you rise up for the Prayer, (if you have no ablution) wash your faces and your hands up to (and including) the elbows, and lightly rub your heads (with water) and (wash) your feet up to (and including) the ankles. And if you are in the state of major ritual impurity (requiring total ablution), purify yourselves (by taking a bath)” (Al-Maeda 5:6).

With this verse the ablutions before ritual prayers became obligatory and all Muslims wash their hands, faces, mouths, noses, ears, necks, and feet before each of the five daily prayers.

Just as we should keep our body and the clothes we wear clean, we also need to keep our living quarters and the places where we worship clean. The Qur’an says, “O children of Adam! Dress cleanly and beautifully for every act of worship” (Al-A’raf 7:31).

God’s Messenger made it an obligatory practice to bathe at least once a week (this was at a time when frequent bathing was uncommon). He also instructed people to “keep your environment clean” and urged them to maintain the shared community spaces as well. A hadith recounts his words on this subject: “Avoid two cursed things,” he said, and when the Companions asked “What two things?” he replied, “Relieving oneself on the road where people pass by, or in a shady place (where people take a rest).”

The noble Messenger, who was “the Living Qur’an” and who embodied Qur’anic morality, as with everything, was the best of examples in cleanliness. He was very careful about his own cleanliness and whenever he lay down or got up, day or night, he washed his mouth and nose, brushed his teeth and made ablutions. In particular he emphasized that cleaning the teeth is crucial not only for the health of our mouth, but also to please God; moreover, he taught that the first thing a person should do on waking from sleep is to wash their hands. He was also careful to dry his limbs on a towel after washing. God’s Messenger paid close attention to cleanliness throughout his life; he would wear clean, nice clothes whenever he out went in public, particularly to the mosque or to visit someone. He used pleasant scents and avoided eating onions, garlic or smelly foods before going out. The following issues concerning bathroom etiquette must be especially observed:

1. Prior to entering the bathroom, men must first roll up their trouser legs and remove their socks.

2. One is advised to say, “Allahumma inni a’udhu bika minal khubthi wal khaba’ith” (‘O Allah! Verily, I seek refuge in You from the filthy and impure’) before entry.

3. One must enter with their left foot first and exit with the right foot first.

4. Men must not urinate in a standing position, but while sitting. (Urinating while standing damages the kidneys, adversely affects the soundness of the Prayer, and this constitutes the cause for the greater part of punishment in the grave.)

5. One must not speak, consume anything, idle around or think of matters pertaining to the Hereafter while in the bathroom.

6. Cleaning must be performed with the left hand. (The vessel containing the water, as well as the tap and the door must be held with the right hand and any items for cleaning such as brushes with the left hand.)

7. The bathroom must be left neat and clean. (Washing the hands and leaving the toilet clean.)

8. Males must ensure that istibra is performed after urinating (waiting for a certain period to ensure that no urine has remained in the urethra).

Friendship and Fellowship in the Hadith

An examination of the Prophetic Traditions reveals that the Messenger of Allah attached great importance to friendship and fellowship. A believer’s friendship with their fellow believer must be oriented toward Divine pleasure and approval. That is to say, the believer loves their fellow believer for the sake of God and establishes their friendship and fellowship with them on this basis. In one of his hadith, God’s Messenger articulates this truth as follows: “The strongest bond of belief is friendship for the sake of God and opposition for His sake, love for the sake of God and disfavor for His sake.”

Whilst sincere friendships established for the sake of God continue for all eternity, those based on self-interest can end even while in the world. Love and friendship for God’s sake can never be dependent on self-interest. The Qur’anic verse, “Those who are intimate friends (in the world) will be enemies one to another on that Day, except the God-revering, pious” (Az-Zukhruf 43:67), vividly expresses the fact that friendships other than those formed for the sake of God can turn into enmity in the Hereafter.

Moreover, a hadith describing one of those people to be given protection on the Day of Reckoning wherein there is no shade save the shade of God as, “those who love one another for the sake of God,” reveals the reward of those people who love each other for His sake. Indeed, the believer must form friendships for the sake of God and their friend must take them to Him. A friend who takes one to God is most certainly an auspicious friend. God’s Messenger relates the good friend in one Prophetic Tradition by means of the following excellent similitude: “The similitude of good company and that of bad company is that of the owner of musk and of the one blowing the bellows. The owner of musk would either offer you some free of charge, or you would buy it from him, or you smell its pleasant fragrance; and as for the one who blows the bellows (i.e., the blacksmith), he either burns your clothes or you get from it a repugnant smell.”

Saying, “A person is upon the religion of their friend,” God’s Messenger demands from us to be careful in our choice of friends, as the good friend takes one to Paradise, while a bad one takes one to the pits of the Fire.

Fellowship resembles a single spirit in two bodies. Our friends are our capital in both this world and the Hereafter. They are treasures enabling us to attain happiness in both this world and in the Hereafter. The Messenger of God expresses this reality in the following hadith:

Umar ibn al-Khattab reported the Prophet as saying: “There are people from the servants of Allah who are neither Prophets nor martyrs; the Prophets and martyrs will envy them on the Day of Resurrection for their rank from Allah, the Most High.”

They (the people) asked: ‘Tell us, O Messenger of Allah, who are they?’ He replied: ‘They are people who love one another for the spirit of Allah (i.e. the Qur’an), without having any mutual kinship and giving property to one. I swear by Allah, their faces will glow and they will be (sitting) in (pulpits of) light. They will have no fear (on the Day) when the people will have fear, and they will not grieve when the people will grieve.’

He then recited the following Qur’anic verse: ‘Know well that the friends (saintly servants) of God—they will have no fear (both in this world and the next, for they will always find My help and support with them), nor will they grieve.’” (Sunan Abu Dawud, Book 24, Hadith 112).

Respect for the Elderly

Stating, “Those who do not have mercy on our young and do not respect our elders are not of us,” the Messenger of God highlights reverence for one’s elders and compassion towards those who are younger as an important principle in the religion of Islam.

Using expressions of respect towards the elderly, making room for them on public transport, giving them the first hearing in an assembly, refraining from raising one’s voice and from irreverence in their presence and allowing them preferential right are aspects of such propriety. One day, everyone will get old. A person who shows respect to the elderly will receive respect when they, too, age. As God’s Messenger states: “If any young person shows respect to an elderly person because of their old age, God will appoint those to show them the same respect when they themselves grow old.”

Let us not forget that the elderly among us serve as spiritual lightning rods, so to speak, and by means of them, our sustenance increases and we are protected from calamities and misfortunes: “Were it not for the elderly bent double, suckling infants and grazing animals among you, calamities would have descended upon you in floods.”

The Etiquette of Greeting

Greetings are a mark of fellowship enabling the strengthening of social bonds and increasing affection between human beings. It is also a Prophetic practice.

Offering a greeting is a recommended practice taken from the life of God’s Messenger, while responding to such a greeting is religiously mandatory (fard). A hadith states: “You will not enter the Garden until you believe and you will not believe until you love one another. Shall I inform you of something the doing of which will enable you to love one another? Make the greeting common practice among you.”

The etiquette of greeting can be enumerated as follows:

1. Saying “As-salamu alaykum” (‘Peace be upon you’) when entering a gathering and before beginning to speak.

2. Saying “As-Salamu alayna wa ala ibadillahi’s-salihin” (‘Peace be upon us and upon the righteous servants of Allah’) when entering an unoccupied house.

3. Greetings can be extended when leaving an assembly or parting from one’s companions as when meeting them, for God’s Messenger says, “When one of you comes to an assembly, they should offer the greeting (of peace) and when they intend to leave, they should leave with greetings (of peace).”

4. The initiator of greetings should be the younger person (when two people meet, or in general), the smaller party rather than the larger one, those riding over those on foot, and those who on foot rather than those who are seated.

5. If someone in an assembly responds with the words, “Wa alaykum as-salam” (‘And upon you be peace’) when the assembly is greeted, others are relieved of the obligation to respond; however, if no one replies, everyone in the assembly is equally responsible.

6. The word marhaba has also been used in way of greeting. God’s Messenger also used the term when welcoming his guests. Derived from the verb rahaba, it comes to mean, “Make yourself at home, you are among friends.”

7. The response to the greeting should be given immediately and loud enough for the greeter to hear.

8. One should not pretend that they have not heard greeting of another.

He Always Remained True to His Word

Truthfulness is one of the matters painstakingly emphasized in the Qur’an. Truthfulness in one’s inner self and outer being, or conformity between their true self and their speech and actions... The Qur’an exhorts truthfulness not merely as a necessary character trait of the individual, but simultaneously stresses the importance of being in the company of truthful individuals: “O you who believe! Keep from disobedience to God in reverence for Him and piety, and keep the company of the truthful (those who are also faithful to their covenant with God)” (At-Tawbah 9:119).

The Qur’an praises Prophet Abraham with his truthfulness: “And make mention of Abraham in the Book. He was surely a sincere man of truth, a Prophet” (Maryam 19:41).

Truthfulness is agonizing not to lie, not just when everything is proceeding normally, but also under the most trying of conditions, even when one has the chance of breaking free with a ‘little lie’. It is standing firm in trueness and faithfulness before, within and behind every undertaking. “And say: ‘My Lord! Cause me to enter in a manner sincere and faithful to the truth, and cause me to exit in a manner sincere and faithful to the truth, and grant me from Your Presence a sustaining authority!’” (Al-Isra 17:80).

God’s Messenger once waited for three days in a place where he had promised to meet with someone. When the man remembered his appointment and arrived, God’s Messenger merely said, without any sign or expression of anger, “I have been waiting here for you for the past three days.” The Messenger of God defined the person who fails to keep their word as a hypocrite, or a person who is two-faced. He said: “When the hypocrite speaks, he lies, when he makes a promise, he breaks it, and whenever he is trusted, he betrays his trust.” Perhaps all these characteristics may perhaps not be found in an individual at once, but even if one of these are present in a person, this means that they possess traces of hypocrisy within them and they must be purged of these immediately.

Truthfulness should not function merely as the product of the individual but as the product of social life also. Truth and faithfulness must be taken as a basis everywhere from our personal life and social life, to our commercial and even familial life also. The preservation of these institutions is contingent upon individuals living in faithfulness and fidelity.

The Ethics of Speech

Thinking and speaking are two important qualities setting human beings apart from other creatures. By virtue of the connection between them, speaking resembles a clear, polished mirror reflecting the intellectual level and mental attitude of one who possesses it. As the old saying goes, “A person’s manner of speaking is the very person themselves.” The way in which a person speaks and their choice of words are indicators of their own self. The religion of Islam has introduced a set of principles governing speech and has maintained that those observing them would receive the reward of worship.

A believer must, before all else, begin by reciting the basmala and praising God. Every undertaking beginning with God’s Name will find blessing and Divine favor. God’s Messenger states: “Any important deed initiated without the Basmala is devoid of blessing.” Excessive talk without mention and remembrance of God hardens the heart. And the person furthest from Allah is the hardhearted.”

Human beings more often than not express their thoughts and feelings through speech. The language and manner a person uses in speaking can cause them harm, just as it can bring them success. A person’s guarding their tongue has even been mentioned as one of the means of attaining Paradise. God’s Messenger states: “Whoever can guarantee for me what is between their legs (their chastity and honor) and what is between their jaws (their tongue), I will guarantee the Paradise for them.”

In another Prophetic Tradition, to the question, “Whose Islam is best?” God’s Messenger replied, “The one from whose tongue and hands the Muslims are safe.” The practices concerning manner of speech that we have drawn from the life of God’s Messenger are the following:

One must speak clearly and intelligibly while conversing and take their particular audience into account. Expressions deemed important must also be repeated when necessary. The Companions describe the Prophet’s speech as follows:

The words of God’s Messenger were as clear as to be easily understood by everyone who heard them. He used to speak so that if someone had wanted to count his number of words, they could have done so. When God’s Messenger used to say something, he would repeat it three times so that it would be understood.

It may sometimes be necessary for something to be repeated in order for it to be understood properly by the individual(s) to whom it is intended.

This is the Divine wisdom behind the frequent repetitions in the Qur’an. Speaking in a manner wherein one seeks to present themselves as superior to others, or speaking to project the image that one is unintelligible, through the use of jargon, has been prohibited. God’s Messenger states: “Verily, Allah dislikes an eloquent person who rolls his tongue as a cow rolls its tongue (while eating).” (Sunan Abu Dawud, Book 18, Hadith 227).

One must also not shout or speak loudly, in a grating voice. In the words of the Qur’an, Luqman counsels his son in the particular method in question as follows: “Be modest in your bearing, and subdue your voice. For certain the most repugnant of voices is braying of donkeys” (Luqman 31:19). Another verse declares: “And say to My servants that they should always speak (even when disputing with others) that which is the best” (Al-Isra 17:53). Moreover, when sending Moses and his brother Aaron to speak to the Pharaoh, God Almighty commanded them to speak with gentle words

(Al-Anbiya 21:43–44), decreeing that a pleasant manner of speaking be employed even if the one spoken to is an unbeliever. The possibility of deliverance from the punishment of the Fire by means of a good word is indicated in another hadith: “Protect yourselves from the Fire, even if only with half a date. And if you cannot find even that, then with a good word.” Two people conversing privately to the exclusion of the third has also been prohibited. God’s Messenger indicates that such behavior can hurt the excluded person.

There is a well-known Turkish adage: “Water is for children, speech for adults.” Those who are older must always be given priority to speak. First right of speech belongs to the senior member of an assembly. That said, others can voice their views when appropriate, in a fitting manner. When Abdurrahman ibn Sahl once began speaking to relate an event, God’s Messenger said, “The elder first, the elder first,” and as a result, those who were older explained how the event unfolded.

Abdullah ibn Umar relates a personal experience as follows: “God’s Messenger said, ‘Tell me which tree is like the Muslim? It gives fruits at all times by the permission of its Lord and its leaves do not fall.’

The people began naming the trees of the desert. It occurred to me that it was the palm tree, but I did not want to speak as Abu Bakr and Umar, may Allah be pleased with them, were both present. When they did not speak, the Prophet said, ‘It is the palm tree.’“

One’s words must be short, but to the point, and one must refrain from excessive speech. Vulgarisms must never be used. In other words, the habit of refraining from talking too much and ensuring that one’s speech is relevant and measured must be developed. In enumerating the estimable character traits of the believ- ers, God declares: “They always turn away from and avoid whatever is vain and frivolous” (Al-Mu’minun 23:3), describing preoccupation with trivial talk as transgression and misguidance (Luqman 31:6). God’s Messenger states, “Part of the excellence of a person’s Islam is that they leave what does not concern them.”

Vain and fruitless chatter and damaging speech must be avoided. The Qur’anic verse which states, “Not a word does he utter but there is a watcher by him, ever-present” (Qaf 50:18), draws attention to the fact that human beings will account for the life with which they have been favored, word for word. As stated by the Messenger of God, “Anyone who believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak well or keep silent.”

In another Prophetic Tradition it is stated, “A slave of Allah might say something, without realizing its seriousness (or implications), which causes him to slip into the Fire by a greater margin than the distance between the east and the west.” The believer must speak the truth under any circumstances and must shun false speech and fabricated accounts with a vengeance.

They must thoroughly ascertain the truth of any given piece of information. God’s Messenger states: “When the son of Adam starts the day, all his limbs supplicate his tongue, saying, ‘Fear Allah in respect of us. We are (dependent) upon you. If you are upright then we will be upright and if you are corrupt then we will be corrupt.’“

Not being on talking terms with others is a situation that Islam disapproves of. One’s speech should not lead people to ill blood. God’s Messenger said, “Do not hate one another nor envy one another nor shun one another. Servants of God, be brothers (and sisters)! It is not lawful for a Muslim to refuse to speak to his brother (Muslim) for more than three nights so that when they meet, one of them turns his face away in avoidance and the other one turns his face away as well. The better of them is the one who initiates the greeting.”

God’s Messenger demands that such unfriendliness ends in the shortest time possible. He even says that if there is indeed such a situation, then the person who reconciles these individuals will receive great reward. Addressing his Companions, God’s Messenger said, “Shall I tell you a degree better than Prayer, fasting and alms?”

“Yes,” they replied.

God’s Messenger said, “Improving a state of friendship. Causing discord in a state of friendship is what shaves things away (i.e. destroys them).”

Another point that can be considered in a discussion on the ethics of speech is to guard the tongue against backbiting in particular. The Qur’an illustrates just how repugnant an act backbiting is, in the following manner: “…and do not spy (on one another), nor backbite (against one another). Would any of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would abhor it! Keep from disobedience to God in reverence for Him and piety. Surely God is One Who truly returns repentance with liberal forgiveness and additional reward, AllCompassionate (particularly towards His believing servants)” (Al-Hujurat 49:12).

Speaking ill of others, in a way with which they will be displeased, is an act reproached by the Qur’an. The Messenger of God too reproaches this reprehensible behavior: “Hold your tongue, keep to your house and weep for your sins.” “When I ascended through the heavens, I passed by some people holding copper nails with which they were gouging their faces and chests. I said, ‘Who are these, Gabriel?’

He said, ‘Those are the people who consumed people’s flesh and attacked their honor.’”

That is to say, those who fail to guard their tongue and use it in the correct way will face precisely such a punishment.

Translation of the Qur’anic Chapter Al-Hujurat

This Qur’anic chapter instructs believers in certain rules of etiquette and the way in which they are to treat God’s Messenger and one another. It was revealed in Medina. The chapter is comprised of eighteen verses and takes its name from the word hujurat, meaning ‘private apartments’ or ‘chambers’, which occurs in the fourth verse.

In the Name of God, the All-Merciful, the All-Compassionate.

1. O you who believe! Do not be forward in the Presence of God and His Messenger. Keep from disobedience to God in piety and reverence for Him, so that you may deserve His protection. Surely God is All-Hearing, All-Knowing.

2. O you who believe! Do not raise your voices above the voice of the Prophet, nor speak loudly when addressing him, as you would speak loudly to one another, lest your good deeds go in vain without your perceiving it.

3. Those who lower their voices in the presence of God’s Messenger, those are they whose hearts God has tested and proven for piety and reverence for Him. For them there is forgiveness (to bring unforeseen rewards) and a tremendous reward.

4. Those who call out to you from behind the private apartments (which you share with your wives), most of them do not reason and understand (and are therefore lacking in good manners).

5. If (instead of shouting to you to come out to them) they had been patient until you came out to them, it would certainly have been better for them (in respect of the manners due to you from them). However, God is All-Forgiving, All-Compassionate (especially toward His believing servants, and may forgive ill-manners arising from ignorance).

6. O you who believe! If some transgressor brings you news (that requires taking action), verify it carefully (before you believe and act upon it), lest you harm a people in ignorance and then become regretful for what you have done.

7. Always bear in mind that God’s Messenger is among you (so that you have a duty to refer decisions to him). If he were to follow you in many affairs of public concern, you would surely be in trouble (and suffer loss). But God has endeared the faith to you (O believers) and made it appealing to your hearts, and He has made unbelief, transgression, and rebellion hateful to you. Those are they who are rightly guided (in belief, thought, and action),

8. As a grace from God and a favor. God is All-Knowing, All-Wise.

9. If two parties of believers fall to fighting, make peace between them (and act promptly). But if one of them aggressively encroaches the rights of the other, then fight you all against the aggressive side until they comply with God’s decree (concerning the matter). If they comply, then make peace between them with justice and be scrupulously equitable. Surely God loves the scrupulously equitable.

10. The believers are but brothers, so make peace between your brothers and keep from disobedience to God in reverence for Him and piety (particularly in your duties toward one another as brothers), so that you may be shown mercy (granted a good, virtuous life in the world as individuals and as a community, and eternal happiness in the Hereafter).

11. O you who believe! Let not some people among you deride another people, it may be that the latter are better than the former; nor let some women deride other women, it may be that the latter are better than the former. Nor defame one another (and provoke the same for yourselves in retaliation), nor insult one another with nicknames (that your brothers and sisters dislike). Evil is using names with vile meaning after (those so addressed have accepted) the faith (doing so is like replacing a mark of faith with a mark of transgression). Whoever (does that and then) does not turn to God in repentance, (giving up doing so), those are indeed wrongdoers.

12. O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, for some suspicion is a grave sin (liable to God’s punishment); and do not spy (on one another), nor backbite (against one another). Would any of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would abhor it! Keep from disobedience to God in reverence for Him and piety. Surely God is One Who truly returns repentance with liberal forgiveness and additional reward, All-Compassionate (particularly towards His believing servants).

13. O humankind! Surely We have created you from a single (pair of) male and female, and made you into tribes and families so that you may know one another (and so build mutuality and co-operative relationships, not so that you may take pride in your differences of race or social rank, and breed enmities). Surely the noblest, most honorable of you in God’s sight is the one best in piety, righteousness, and reverence for God. Surely God is All-Knowing, All-Aware.

14. (Some of) the dwellers of the desert say: “We believe.” Say (to them): “You have not believed. Rather, (you should) say, ‘We have submitted (to the rule of Islam),’ for faith has not yet entered into your hearts.” But, if you obey God and His Messenger, He will not hold back anything of the reward of your (good) deeds. Surely God is All-Forgiving, All-Compassionate.

15. Only those are the believers who have truly believed in God (as the Unique Deity, Lord, and Sovereign), and (believed in) His Messenger (including all that he has brought from God), then have never since doubted (the truth of what they have testified to), and who strive hard with their wealth and persons in God’s cause. Those are they who are truthful and honest (in their profession of faith).

16. (If those desert dwellers still insist on thinking themselves true believers,) say: “What? Would you teach God (how truly you are devoted to) your Religion, while God knows all that is in the heavens and all that is on the earth?” God has full knowledge of everything.

17. They impress it on you as their favor to you that they have submitted (to the rule of Islam and thereby put you under an obligation to them). Say: “Do not count your being Muslims as a favor to me (nor seek to put me under an obligation. The Religion does not belong to me, but to God only.) It is indeed God Who has conferred a favor upon you inasmuch as He has shown you the way to faith—if you are truthful (in your profession of being Muslims, those who have submitted to God).”

18. Surely God knows the unseen of the heavens and the earth (all that is beyond human perception and knowledge in them). And God sees well all that you do.

Visiting the Ill

Both illness and cure are the will of God. God Almighty has created a cure for every illness. The human being is required to seek the remedy for a particular ailment with the intellect conferred upon them. Visiting the ill, downtrodden and outcast, inquiring after them, seeing to their material needs, consoling them in their times of difficulty and hardship, and not leaving them to their own devices is also a part of the ethics of Islam. It would even not be incorrect to say that visiting the ill is incumbent on every Muslim, on the basis of the Prophet’s words.

In a Prophetic Tradition related by Abu Musa al-Ash’ari, God’s Messenger said, “Visit the sick, feed the hungry and set captives free.”

Again in another narrations in this regard, God’s Messenger says, “When a Muslim visits his brother Muslim, he will remain engaged in picking the fresh fruits from the Garden until he returns.” “No Muslim visits a Muslim in the morning without seventy thousand angels praying blessing on them until evening, or visits them in the evening without seventy thousand angels praying blessing on them until morning and they will have fruits in the Garden.”

One of the etiquettes of visiting the sick is to reassure them that they will get better. One must boost the morale of the person who is sick and provide support and encouragement. As the Prophet said, “When you visit a sick person, give them hope for a long life. This will not avert anything, but will please the patient and give them comfort.”

Taking something that the patient feels like when calling upon them is also recommended and this is important with respect to recovery also. God’s Messenger says, “If any sick person among you longs for something, then allow them to eat of that.”

God’s Messenger has called for visiting the sick, whatever their faith, language, or ethnicity, and himself visited the ill without differentiation.

A Jewish boy living in Medina used to serve the Prophet. The boy became ill and the Prophet went to visit him. He sat by his head and said, “Become a Muslim.”

The boy looked at his father who was also sitting beside him. His father said to him, “Obey Abu’l-Qasim (the father of Qasim: the Messenger of God).”

So the boy became a Muslim. The Prophet left saying, “Praise be to God who has saved him from the Fire!”

Gratitude

People need to respond with thanks to the kindness they show one another in community life. One needs to thank the person offering a tray of tea to them, the person passing over the change in the minibus, and even the person working for us. If this gratitude is shown towards God, this is referred to as “thankfulness.” Thankfulness is to recognize the worth and value of goodness and to express what one feels in response to this goodness to the one doing good. As stated by God’s Messenger, “One who does not thank people cannot thank God.”

On the Rights of Others

Islam attaches great importance to human rights. It has granted certain rights to all human beings, established the best standards in this regard, and has enjoined all people to respect and observe the rights of one another. The rights of others should be evaluated within this framework. The rights of other people cover a very broad sphere. Let us mention a few examples by way of providing some idea:

• Using the property of others without their permission and approval;

• Delaying or avoiding the repayment of an item or money borrowed from another;

• Deceiving the consumer when selling something;

• Disrespect to one’s parents;

• Backbiting, slander, derision, insult;

• Wrongly offending, hurting or killing another;

• Preventing a person from learning or practicing their religion.

These are the first things that spring to mind in relation to the rights of others. These are by no means limited to this list. Violating, obstructing or seizing any material or spiritual rights of a human being are all included under the rights of others.

The Sensitivity of God’s Messenger in Relation to the Rights of Others

God’s Messenger, the finest example and guide before us, was exceedingly sensitive concerning the rights of others. He exerted extraordinary endeavor to in the matter of offending no one and giving all people what is their due. He was also the head of state. He thus had, from time to time, considerable wealth and riches at his disposal, whether in the form of spoils or alms and charity. Outside the share allocated to him, he took not even half a date, nor allowed any of the members of his household to do so. He trembled, so to speak, at the prospect of violating the rights of someone else even if by mistake, from the goods given in charity or consigned for distribution.

As such, he was once unable to sleep and suffered agony the entire night. When morning came, his wife Aisha asked, “O God’s Messenger, were you troubled during the night, that you could not sleep?” God’s Messenger replied, “I found a date in the room and ate it, lest it should be wasted. It later occurred to me that it could be from among the dates given in alms. This was what troubled me.”

Whereas, that date was in all likelihood from his personal dates, as he used to keep those given in charity in a separate place. Careful to the utmost, in the matter of the rights of others, God’s Messenger advises us as follows: “Whoever has done an injustice to his brother with regard to his honor or anything else should seek to be absolved by him before the day when there will be neither dinar nor dirham. If he has right actions (good deeds), they will be taken from him to counterbalance the injustice he did, and if he does not have any good actions, some of the bad actions of his friend will be taken and he will be made to shoulder them.”

Being Saved from Injustice to Others

What is of primacy here is holding God’s Messenger up as an example and avoiding violations of the rights of others in the first instance, or at the very least, to exert utmost effort in this regard. If we have, however, infringed the rights of others in one way or another, there is one way of being freed from this: making restitution in such cases of injustice. Seeking absolution from transgressing the rights of another is not possible merely by asking forgiveness from the person wronged. If such spiritual rights as backbiting, slander, or insult are in question, then one must first say, “I said such-and-such about you, backbit against you in such- and-such way, upset you when I did or said such-and-such,” make up to them, and later seek to be absolved by them. If a material right has been violated, one must first give the wronged person their due and then seek released from such an obligation. If the person wronged has died or if they cannot be reached, one must do a great many good works and give in charity and alms with the intention of having the reward bestowed upon that person and must also seek Divine forgiveness.

The Situation of Those with the Rights of Others upon Them

If a servant feels remorse prior to their death and sincerely repents for their wrongdoing, God can forgive all their sins, including even the gravest of sins—unbelief and association of partners with God. There is, however, one exception to this and this is any violation of the rights of others. Even martyrs who sacrifice their lives in the path of God will be called to account on the Day of Reckoning regarding the rights that others have upon them. For God’s Messenger says, “God forgives the martyr every wrong action except debt (the rights that others have upon them).”

Will Those with the Rights of Others upon Them Enter Paradise?

Some Muslim scholars have made the following ruling based upon some of the abovementioned Qur’anic verses and Prophetic Traditions: “If a person has so much as one seventh of a grain of barley the rights of others upon them, they cannot enter Paradise without the wronged person absolving them first.” However, when it comes to the martyrs or righteous servants, God forgives the sins of those with rights over them to the degree of or greater than their debt, grants them rewards in the event of their having no sins, equal to or exceeding what they are entitled to, and the person disclaims their right. That martyr or righteous servant can only enter Paradise after this.

If we are to summarize, violating the rights of others is an extremely grave liability. One needs to be very careful in this regard. If we have infringed upon the rights of others deliberately or unwittingly we must look to freeing ourselves of such a burden while we are still in this world and must, on no account, leave its reckoning to the Hereafter. May God protect us all from being the bankrupt servants mentioned in a Prophetic Tradition on the Day of Judgment.

The Language of Order

A person’s tidiness and order in their surroundings and outer world projects their inner world. A person who does not display sensitivity to external disorder may not at all be troubled when wrongdoing envelops their spirit and inner world and may not shed tears as a result. Order does not imply a luxurious and comfortable living; on the contrary, it means using existing means in the best, most productive and pleasant way.

Days of Forgiveness and Reward

The believers did not just refrain from eating and drinking for an entire month and did not content themselves with merely making their stomach fast; they kept their hands, feet, tongue, eyes, and ears from every word and manner prohibited in Islam. All our other organs, in addition to our stomach, also observed the fast. Feet did not walk towards bad action, hands did not become a means for oppression, eyes did not see evil, ears did not hear words of immorality, and tongues avoided gossip and backbiting. Thus, it is through these earnest efforts that the believers will reach the day of the Festival; on this day they will attain Divine forgiveness. On this day all faces will smile, hearts will be full of joy, and houses will become places of celebration.

Days of Brotherhood, Unity and Solidarity

Eid days are days when the feelings of brother and sisterhood are most apparent. Those who have fallen out make up and friends are reunited, while everyone, adult and child, does what is required of them. Relatives and neighbors visit one another, respect is paid to elders, everybody’s health and general situation are enquired about, elders are visited and efforts are made to bring together those who have fallen out in the neighborhood—as everyone supports such efforts. On this day, the children put on their best clothes; and orphans, the poor and those without homes are not forgotten. We should never forget, when the thorn was pulled from the foot of the orphan that Almighty God let roses blossom in its place and blessed the charitable soul who performed the action with happiness in his grave.

In a word, any act of charity, goodness or help will never go unanswered.

On This Day Nobody Should Be Forgotten

Today, our task is to expand the circle of fellowship envisaged by the ‘Eid, to breathe the air of the Day of Festival, and to internalize and interiorize its felicity. Today, no one should be left out. Today, weeping eyes should beam with joy, patients writhing in pain should be consoled, sorrowful hearts should be enlivened, the elderly should be visited, those younger should be gladdened, friends enquired after, greetings sent to distant friends and relatives, and the joy of our children undertaking their military service in particular shared by means of letters, messages and telephones.

Modest Dress

God’s Messenger instructed his Companions to dress as humbly and modestly as possible. Mu’adh ibn Anas reported that the Messenger of God said, “If anyone gives up fine clothing, which they have the means to wear, out of humility before God, God will summon them on the Day of Rising in front of all other creatures to give them the choice of whatever robes of the people belief they wish to wear.”

If a person refrains from wearing extravagant clothing before the people, despite having the financial means to do so, purely out of humility, God will assuredly confer upon this servant of His a tremendous reward. This is indeed a great reward for a faithful servant who lived their life in accordance with their belief.

Avoiding Extravagance in Clothing and Dress

The Messenger of God did not wish for people to wear expensive, extravagant clothing which draws the envy of others. Through the verse, “Who is there to make unlawful the beautiful things (obtained from plants, animals and minerals) that God has brought forth for His servants, and the pure, wholesome things from among the means of sustenance? Say: ‘They are for (the enjoyment of) the believers in the life of the world (without excluding others), and will be exclusively theirs on the Day of Resurrection.’ Thus, We set out in detail Our signs (showing Our way) and Revelations for a people seeking knowledge,” (7:32) God reveals that He has created all bounties for the benefit of His servants, and that it is possible to make use of every permissible thing by giving due thanks. Thus, God’s Messenger too states, “Eat and drink, dress and give alms without extravagance and without arrogance.”

Starting with the Right Side

The Messenger of God instructed believers to start all undertakings from the right. Aisha said, “The Prophet liked to start with the right in purification, combing his hair and putting on his shoes.”

We learn that the right side constantly took precedence, from the following hadith narrated by Abu Hurayra: The Messenger of God said, “When one of you puts on his sandals, he should begin with the right and when you remove them, remove the left first. It is better to put on the right first and that it be the last you remove.”

The correct order to be observed when putting on and removing one’s shoes is indicated in the hadith. Through this means, the believers are encouraged to get into the habit of beginning with the right side and preferring the limbs on the right side. In the event of person wearing their right shoe first and removing it last, the shoe would have remained on that person’s foot for a longer period of time. Observing such an order demonstrates the value given to the limbs on the right side of the body.

In another hadith on the question of which side to begin with when dressing, again related by Abu Hurayra, God’s Messenger said, “When you dress and when you take the ablution, begin with your right.” This hadith also indicates the proper etiquette in relation to dress. Using the right arm first in wearing such things like a singlet, shirt, jacket, and overcoat and using the right foot first when wearing trousers, tracksuits, and the like, is recommended.

Advising His Companions to Dress Well

God’s Messenger wished for his Companions to dress well, in a clean and pleasant manner. In a related hadith reported by Abdullah ibn Mas’ud, God’s Messenger said, “No one who has an atom’s weight of pride in their will enter the Garden.”

A man said, “And if a person likes their clothes to be good and their sandals to be good?” He said, “God is Beautiful and loves beauty. Pride means to renounce the truth and abase people.”

The financial means of every human being varies. People attend to their dress and attire in line with their monetary means. What is of import here is that one must strive to dress in moderation, in accordance with the time and place, without tending to waste and tawdriness. Every person of course wishes to present themselves to the people in a well-dressed manner. What matters is that one does not go to excess, dressing in a way that is entirely unlike that of people with a low income. The clothing of one who is well to do is of course going to be of high quality; however, plain dress over that which is showy is what is preferred.

Recommendations Regarding the Length of Clothing

Just as the Companions, who described and transmitted every state of God’s Messenger, have informed us about the Prophet’s dress, they have also advised us about how long one’s garment has to be. While this issue might come as an extreme detail for some people, it both establishes a lifestyle with respect to an Islamic way of life, as well as constituting an important criterion in revealing the standards of that lifestyle.

Famous people are imitated to the extent of their looks, laughter, and even mimics. The clothing of a popular actor or singer is imitated to its color and cut and the dress they wear can even become the fashion of that particular season. This being the case, those who take God’s Messenger as a guide will of course pay particular attention to the fabric, color, and length of the clothing he wore, and hold his manner of dress up as an example. Asma bint Yazid al-Ansari narrated the following concerning the length of the Prophet’s shirt: “The sleeve of the shirt of the Messenger of God reached the wrist.”

The dimensions of particular items of clothing have been determined by Muslim scholars on the basis of their evaluations of narrations concerning the Prophet’s clothing. Accordingly, it is stated that the length of the sleeve of one’s shirt can be extended to the wrist, while that of outer garments such as overcoats and similar items of clothing can be lengthened to the fingertips.

Jundub ibn Makith narrated: “Whenever a delegation came to meet the Messenger of Allah, he would wear his best clothes and order his leading Companions to do likewise. I saw the Prophet on the day that the delegation of Kindah came to meet him; he was wearing a Yemeni garment, and Abu Bakr and Umar were dressed similarly.” (Ibn Sa’d, At-Tabaqat, 4/346).

Jabir ibn Abdullah narrated: “We were sat with the Messenger of Allah. Umar ibn Al-Khattab came wearing a white long shirt. The Messenger of Allah said to him, ‘O Umar is your long shirt new or it washed?’ He replied, ‘Washed.’ He said, ‘New clothes, praised abode, died martyred; may Allah give him the apple of his eye in the world and the afterlife.’” (Ahmad ibn Hanbal, Musnad, 2/89).