Circle of Confusion. (A Life In Words)
Poems By Frank Colley.
CIRCLE OF CONFUSION by Frank Colley Introduction. Frank was born with a hole in the heart, this open heart surgery to repair it when he was 9 years old. He joined the Army as a junior soldier on leaving school aged 15 ½. He then joined an infantry regiment at 17 ½ serving in Northern Ireland, Cyprus and Germany. After a total of 5 years and 33 days he returned to civilian life. He found this very difficult until he met his future wife. They have been together for over 30 years and have two grown up children and several grandchildren. Frank has worked for over 25 years in children's services. He stated writing poetry on joining the army and has written on and off ever since. This is his first publication, it's about Army life, Love life and other Life.
Dedicated to Fan Fairs. (Who gave me courage)
Fan Fairs You went long ago But you stayed in our harts You came then you left again But stayed in our hearts We`ll meet again Our hearts will entwine Then we will part But remain together at heart Fan Fairs we love you.
(This is a poem about my sister who emigrated to Australia. She came over for a visit. I always said I would visit her. Fan Fairs was her pen name. I visited her for my 50 birthday.)
Transition (From Boy, Too Man)
From your mother, meek and mild, To the army, rough and wild. From the comfort of your bed. To the trenches, lined with dead. From the freedom of your school, To the army, rule on rule. From the loving in my nest, To streets of Belfast, to kill the rest. From the smiling faces of my friends. To go and fight until the end. Although it sounds a little absurd, I will kill, if you give the word. 1972.
Blindness. 1 An empty combat jacket upon the door, An empty boot by the bed upon the floor, An empty rifle and an empty magazine, An empty soldier lies almost in a dream, Is he alive or is he dead The fact is he`s both. 2 An empty street in an empty town, An empty man lies On the blood stained ground his empty mind is now at peace his empty gun is out or reach 3 Nobody witnesses this scene They all believe their hands are clean. They have run away from reality Raped by a political ideology. Death is death on both sides No one see`s for they are the blind
Patrick & Johnny
Patrick aged three at upon grandmother’s knee goes to mass on Sunday (three times) confession on Saturday (With Dad) schooled by nuns moralised by priests Blinded by belief. Johnny aged three sat upon Mothers knee goes to church on Sunday (Once) taught by the state, manor’s by prenatal guidance Blinded by disbelief.
Each growing up in separate streets with separate meets and separate eats separate haunts and separate taunts. Two little boys growing up not knowing what it is like, To live in peace
Ireland 76
Have you been to Ireland? Well I have mate And I`ll tell you No wait. You read in your papers Of bombs that destroy But not that they are thrown By SIX YEAR OLD BOYS! 1976.
“Fighting for piece is like Fucking for virginity� Anonymous Belfast
From Genesis too Revelation (and god said “I am the Alpha Omega, the beginning and the end�)
A tree stands proud, erect Piercing the evening sky A dark, damp, diminishing cave Covered with dense, dark, undergrowth. The lightning strikes!
The tree falls Jamming forcefully into The half covered entrance Piercing the dark, dank, cave For the first time Lightning strikes twice.
Revelation The soldier stand proud erect Silhouetted in the evening sky Beside an overgrown trench The failing light turns the Dense, dark undergrowth eerie.
The battle begins The soldier falls, shot Into the trench Transformed into a grave For the second time Lightning strikes (and the lord said “ I am the way the truth and the light, no man cometh to the father BUT BY ME�)
Every day common or garden love
Sue I Your name is Sue And I love you And you love me We both agree If I love you And you love me O how happy We should be. 1974
Sue II I`m over the hills and far away But the more I love you every day You love me and tenderly obey All the things I might say. In my letters and at home You are the one upon my throne I love you with all my heart I will die if we do part.
Sue III
The love I lost I found today Then she went and ran away I`ll find my love Another day So that she can run away. 1974
Sue IV
Where are you my angle My dream of you still strong How I wish that I could see you And hold you for so long We could be together Like we were before We are much Older, Wiser. Realistic, Embittered Lost!
Sue V (Manic Depression.)
The sunlight flickers as it is reflected From the clear surface of the stream Chasing over lichen covered stones So clear to see the ever washed Pebbles on the bottom Then: A dirty great farmer puts his Shit covered boot in it!
Utopia
A room filled with mementoes A story to unfold Of moments in a bygone age Of whist full care free days.
A place you alone can get too A secret store of thought Locked away from the gaze of others It dissent exist It`s all in your head.
Three Men
The man on the trapeze, With his hands to his knees Holds the bar, up so far Swinging away night and day All the time to earn his pay
In the subway under the street Is a man who wants to eat He claps his hands and stamps his feet Plays guitar to get some meet Who can see this lonely man Have a look see if you can.
Crossed swards stands for marksman Which means, he shoots to kill At least that`s what he ought to do But who knows if he will.
1984 1984 and all`s well Orwell turns in his grave Winston hasn`t been born yet Or hasn’t realised.
East and west are ill at ease Zero options abound Trident and cruse Against SS20`s Ragan against the world.
Ragan thinks he rules the world Thatcher thinks she is his allie She is just his marionette.
She has managed what Hitler could not Conquered Britain and seeded it To the US of A Turned us in to yet another Aircraft carrier for a Jingoistic, has been, Hollywood actor.
So many lines so little time.
Miners in the strike line, families on the bread line, some on the picket line, others in the work line.
Media take the government line 3 million on the dole line others on the poverty line then there is the broad blue line
The in between line those in and those out I line there`s red on the picket line The solid and the fluid line this poem has reached its last line So many lines, so little time 1984
Seven Year Itch.
Alone in bed I lie next to your empty carcass I Love You. You are there but not for me for me there is no life just your emptiness I Love You. The pitter patter of tiny feet hopefully a bridge but no incarceration I Love You. How is six inches so far that it needs a bridge I Love You. Was your promise that empty or is this emptiness your promise I Love You I Love I.
Return to Study
I must go back to the woods of knowledge wild Azalea and Rhododendron bloom Ancient trees and an Ancient house But a new way Forward. 1984
Don`t talk to me.
Don`t talk to me about Byron or Coleridge or Wordsworth. Talk to me about life as it is, not how it was in poetic justification of an antiquated regime. Talk to me about people, downtrodden by those with power. Not about those who stood on the backs of the masses. Talk to me about the masses revenge. Talk to me about an impossible ideology. Talk to me about utopia. 1984
You and Me
Me: Forming relationships Regrettably hard I find Anonymity, invisibility comes my way Nobody realises the effect that it has on me Kindness is all I desire.
Conscious collective just doesn’t work for me Opprobrium is all I find. Location of I is quite hard Likeable loveable liar I am Easily pacified, easily mystified Yearning for you to understand
You: Love of my life You mean so much you me Nobody else I want Nobody else I require
Company with you I need Over and above all else Life without you is death Love me like I love you Ever be with me You are all I desire.
4 O’clock in the morning 4 O’clock in the morning Listening to my lover snoring She is not Lilly Allen More like Lilli Savage! The rain outside is pouring In rhythm with the snoring I don’t mean to sound so boring But I am sick of this bloody snoring You can’t rhyme anything with orange But I know a man called Goringe I’m not telling untruths He was a sergeant in the Paratroops Did a roman candle was squashed to a pulp Left a bad taste in the mouth. Don’t know where that came from But the snoring goes on and on and on!
Circle of Confusion
You’ll never get in. You’re too wayward. You`ll never get in. You’re unfit. You`ll never get in. When they hear about You’re operation. You`ll never get in. Give up don’t go! x Well seven years later. I`ve been in and got out. Passed with flying colours All the tests. x You`ll never settle down. You’ve done too much travelling. You`ll never settle down. You`ve seen too much action. You`ll never settle down. With a wife and kids. You`ll never settle down. Give it up go back in. They said: 1984
Butterfly and Me Butterfly flutter by, can’t stop Flutter by butterfly, flitter then flee I am the rock you linger upon But very rarely see Never stopping long enough To note the love in me.
Butterfly flutter by, pay no heed Flutter by butterfly, for there is no need To reciprocate, appreciate or pay a fee The love that I have for you Is completely free.
Butterfly flutter by, take to the air Flutter by butterfly, landing here and there Flutter by butterfly, but beware The catchers net is close at hand For you to ensnare.
Beautiful and delicate, spontaneous and free Solid and reliable, but taken, not free The main difference betwixt you and me So flutter by butterfly just let me see The beauty of your fluttering Don’t stop, be free!
Feeling Questioned
Kisses with lips that lightly touch, Needed to be full blown snogs, Teeth chinking, Tongs entwining, Slaver exchanging.
Friendly hugs, lightly done, That needed a full on clinch, With wandering hands, Writhing hips, Chest pressed against chest.
Glances across a room, Almost come to me smiles Sort of sweep me off my feet, Causing me questions, Should I / shouldn’t I? Dose she mean it? Dose she mean? Dose she? Will She? Will I? We?
Photographic Memories This is my favourite Mum and Dad Suited and booted in 1940`s garb Black and white but hand coloured There together holding hands Showing off the ring.
This is my older sister Mini skirt and winkle pickers Monochrome with a white boarder In Psychedelic sixties London I think it was summer It was a rush job.
This is sister number two The first in colour But still in normal clothes Taken in my aunts flat She looks drunk But says she was just tired
Sister number three The first in a wedding dress Flowing over the church steps All the family around Confetti and bouquets thrown A celebration
Sister number four A decade apart glam rock 70`s She made her own dress He wore his military uniform Very traditional We all got drunk.
Lastly its mine Green suit and corkscrew hair Ivory dress, bridesmaids in green Her sister my niece The curls have gone But the pictures remain.
THE MACARENA
I remember The Macarena In a line By the pool Late at night Fuelled on spirit Notably Raki And beer. I don’t remember The morning After the Macarena For the numbness And the drums In my head We had fun It was great I think!
Ten Thousand Demons: The demons on the hillside. The sky red with blood. The earth scorched black. The aftermath in my head. Ten thousand drummers drumming. Ten disco balls spinning. Ten thousand demons on the hillside. Ten to the power of ten Demons with pitchforks. Demons breathing fire. Demons on the hillside. Demons in my head.
Remembrance
I remember you I see your face Every time I close my eyes I don’t know your name Or anything about you All I know is your face I saw it down my barrel Then you fell It was you or me If it was the other way around Would you remember me Remember my face Whenever you close your eyes Is it tattooed inside your eyelids?