Ministers on marriage

A word of advice

Men of faith share best guidance for marriage

When it comes to assuring a long and happy marriage, there’s certainly more

than one school of thought. For ministers of various faiths across Franklin County, the key can be found within the word of God. Even some of the most common sense marriage advice can be found rooted in scripture. Here’s the advice a few local men of faith believe to be most crucial, when it comes to marital bliss:

“I would say to certainly keep God at the center of the covenant relationship, which is what marriage is – a covenant relationship between the man, woman and God. Always have good communication – open and honest communication – and keep things focused on the issue at hand. Don’t go to bed angry – try to talk things out. Always seek the other’s best interest, and remember that love requires sacrifice.”

–TODD OWEN

Pastor, Russellville First United Methodist Church

“It goes back to Genesis 2. My wife and I, we’ve been married for 10 years now, and a lot of that has to do with forsaking all others and cleaving to each other – not leaving room for divorce. There will be days when we have disagreements, but we’re not going to look to someone else. When you have that sincere commitment – putting the Lord first and then your spouse after that – it certainly does make things easier to have a happy marriage and a happy life after that.”

–DANIEL PARRISH

Preacher, Russellville church of Christ

“Communication – open, honest, truthful communication and having a level of trust for one another. Trusting your spouse and talking about anything and everything. It helps you avoid misperceptions and shows there’s nothing to hide, which encourages trust as opposed to mistrust. Today people interpret things through a filter, or doubts are planted by outside sources, so communication allows you to express your thoughts and feelings – to understand and be understood. Also, make time for one another. Don’t be so busy. You find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with – spend some of your life with them, instead of spending so much time on work or other things.”

–STEVE LINDSAY

Paster, Red Bay Free Will Baptist Church

“To someone that’s going into a new marriage, consider the idealization of marriage. Each person has an idea of what marriage is, and what their ideals are versus reality is usually really far apart. That’s why pre-marriage counseling is a good tool. Even if you’ve been married for quite a while, counseling can be helpful because it helps deal with that idealization. Being in a church that can go along beside a couple and help show them what a marriage is to be, biblically, the different roles of the man and the woman – God made us equal, but a man and a woman have different, specific roles they play in that marriage. Find a good church that can help instruct. The Bible says, ‘In a multitude of counselors there is safety.’ When you can have good godly people who have been married for a long time as mentors, it’s going to help you figure out some things that, going in, you just really didn’t have a grasp of.”

–DEREK WASHINGTON

Pastor, Russellville First Free Will Baptist Church

“A happy marriage is when people live by what God’s word, the Bible teaches. Work together and consider each other feelings. That’s what really keeps a marriage together and makes a happy marriage. Live your life according to God’s word, and people can get along.”

–GARY CARTER

Preacher, Washington Avenue church of Christ

“In order to have a happy marriage, first of all, Christ must be first in your life and in your spouse’s life. If you do what Christ wants you to do, you’ll always please your spouse, if they’re a believer. The second thing would be to love each other with an agape love. In English there’s one word for love, but there’s three words in the Greek. One is phileo love, or friendship love. Then you have eros love, or erotic love. Then you have agape love, and that’s self-sacrificing love. When the Bible says, ‘Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church,’ he uses that self-sacrificing love. Marriages can’t survive on friendship love, and marriages can’t survive on sensual love – but on agape love. It’s not what I can get out of it but what I can give my spouse. Some people say marriage is 50/50, but it’s not. It’s 100/100.”

–SAMMY TAYLOR

Pastor, Mountain View Baptist Church

721 South Jackson Avenue • Russellville