THE MEANINGFUL
FUNER AL A N E X C L U S I V E P U B L I C A T I O N by F R A Z E R C O N S U L T A N T S
Issue 1 | Fall 2017 H O L I D AY R E M E M B R A N C E P R O G R A M S S U R V I V I N G H O L I D AY S E A S O N S T R E S S H O L I D AY G R I E F G U I D E F O R FA M I L I E S HELPING CHILDREN COPE WITH GRIEF A N E W K I N D O F D I N N E R PA R T Y
LETTER
from the editor Dear readers, Welcome to The Meaningful Funeral magazine. Within these pages, you’ll find educational content to help you market your funeral home to gain new clients and serve your current client families in better and more meaningful ways. Our goal at Frazer Consultants is to help funeral homes reimagine the funeral experience for their families, and this magazine is just one more way for us to do that. This issue is all about the holidays, as many of you are preparing for the busy holiday season and the grief and loss events that you put on each year. Inside, you’ll find tips for dealing with holiday grief, ideas for holiday remembrance programs, how to deal with the stress of the season, and so much more. I hope that you enjoy the content, and look forward to hearing your feedback as we continue to improve. If you have content suggestions for future issues of The Meaningful Funeral, we would love to hear them — just email us at marketing@frazerconsultants.com. And if you really love our content, visit frazerconsultants.com/meaningful and sign up for our newsletter to have fresh content and funeral news delivered to your inbox every week!
M AT T F R A Z E R P R E S I D E N T, F R A Z E R C O N S U LTA N T S
TABLE OF
CONTENTS 02
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S U R V I V I N G T H E H O L I D AY SEASON STRESS
B U I L D YO U R O W N W O R D - O F - M O U T H M A R K E T I N G T H I S H O L I D AY S E A S O N
For funeral directors, the holiday season can quickly become the season of stress.
The key to standing out among competitors is being human.
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A G U I D E T O H O L I D AY G R I E F F O R Y O U R FA M I L I E S
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The holiday season can be one of the most emotional times for the families you serve.
Holiday Remembrance Program
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How to organize & market your event to increase family turnout.
5 I D E A S F O R Y O U R N E X T H O L I D AY REMEMBRANCE PROGRAM
Holiday remembrance programs are a great way to show families you care.
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Every year, thousands of funeral homes organize holiday remembrance programs that enrich the lives of families in their community.
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A N E W K I N D O F H O L I D AY D I N N E R PA R T Y
See how this group of people revamped the traditional dinner party.
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HELPING CHILDREN COPE WITH G R I E F D U R I N G T H E H O L I D AY S
The holidays can be emotional and confusing for grieving children.
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F U N E R A L S TAT I O N E R Y T R E N D S T H AT M AT T E R T O FA M I L I E S
C RO W D F U N D I N G T I P S TO H E L P Y O U R FA M I L I E S
Modern funerals are all about personalization and affordability.
Crowdfunding can be a blessing for some of the families you serve.
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D O M O R E D E AT H S O C C U R A R O U N D T H E H O L I D AY S ?
PRIORITIZING IS HARD, BUT N E C E S S A R Y F O R F U N E R A L D I R E C TO R S
It’s the most wonderful time of the year. But it’s also the deadliest.
Prioritization is such an important skill for a funeral director to have.
Surviving the Holiday Season Stress The holiday season is coming. For many, it’s the season of joy. But for funeral directors, the season of joy can quickly become the season of stress. Beyond the normal unpredictability of a funeral director’s job, the holidays can bring extra stress that can lead to burnout. Funeral director Caleb Wilde notes that “Being that funeral directors are susceptible to compassion fatigue AND have an uncontrolled work environment, we are especially vulnerable to burnout.”
Don’t let stress and burnout take the happy out of your holidays. Here are some tips on beating burnout and surviving the holiday season stress.
If you’re planning to host a holiday event this year, consider partnering with another organization in the community to split the work needed to plan and promote the event. And don’t forget that technology can be your best friend this holiday season. Use it to save yourself time and work.
C O N F R O N T U N R E A L I S T I C E X P E C TAT I O N S
MAKE A DIFFERENCE
Everyone has hopes for what the holidays will be like, but all too often, reality and our expectations don’t line up. You know better than anyone that death doesn’t stop on the holidays. On top of the already never-ending duties a funeral director performs, the holiday season adds extra responsibilities like visiting family and friends, attending holiday parties, and hosting your own parties or remembrance program.
If burnout and compassion fatigue starts to sink in, it can leave a person feeling cynical. To combat these feelings, try taking a moment to make a small difference in someone’s life.
There’s a finite amount of time in the holiday season, and not everything will get done the way you want. This means missing out on some of the fun things the holidays bring.
Giving back gives us a surge of energy and a much-needed jolt of joy — the perfect cure for holiday stress.
Jan Bruce, CEO of meQuilibrium.com — which is an online stress management system — recommends that “Maybe you don’t accept every party invite, but choose one or two that mean the most. Rather than blaze through one cocktail hour before heading to another one, spend quality time there, connect with people you know and some you don’t, and enjoy where you are. When you can do that, the holidays feel different, because you’re always where you’re supposed to be.” D E L E G AT E T H E W O R K
Trying to tackle everything yourself over the holiday season is a noble effort — especially when picking up extra work so other staff can enjoy some time off. But unfortunately, trying to take on too much too fast only leads to burning out quicker.
It could be something as simple as making donations to a food pantry, donating to a clothing drive, sending a small gift to former client families, or volunteering in other ways in the community.
M E N TA L LY E S C A P E O N C E A D AY
It can be difficult to get away from work, but setting aside just 15 minutes a day to escape from the holiday stress has enormous benefits. Take those 15 minutes to get away — turn off the TV, put down the phone, and just breathe. A daily meditation or moment of reflection not only improves mental health but also improves your overall physical health. E N J OY T H E L I T T L E T H I N G S
The holidays can be tough, but you’re a funeral director. You’re tougher. As the holiday season approaches, just remember to enjoy the little things, like the first snowfall, a warm cup of hot cocoa on a cold day, or a holiday dinner with the family. It can make all the difference. T O R E A D M O R E , V I S I T:
frazerconsultants.com/meaningful
Delegate the work so that it’s split evenly.
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ORNAMENTS
A timeless gift to remember their loved one. Our easy-to-personalize glass and crystal ornaments are perfect for families during the holiday season. Available in angel, snowflake, dove, and butterfly shapes, and completely customizable by your funeral home in-house.
free sample C O N TA C T U S F O R A
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A Guide to Holiday Grief for Your Families The holiday season can be a busy time for a funeral director, and one of the most emotional times for the families they serve. That’s why we’ve put together this guide on grief during the holidays for you to share with your families.
members of the family are grieving too. Coming together can be an opportunity to reminisce, share stories, and enjoy each other’s company while you grieve together. Your funeral home can help by putting on a holiday remembrance program for families. F I N D A WAY T O H O N O R M E M O R I E S
Families can benefit by finding a special way to honor a loved one over the holidays. A simple gesture can go a long way — whether it’s lighting a memorial candle, cooking their favorite meal for a holiday dinner, or hanging a special ornament on the tree each year — a simple gesture is a way to keep their memory around each holiday. C R E AT E N E W H O L I D AY T R A D I T I O N S
Many families will feel the full effects of their loss for the first time during the holidays. They are having their first Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, etc. without a loved one — their mom or dad, husband or wife, brother or sister, friend, etc. When the holiday season — traditionally a time of togetherness and family — comes this year, the grief they already feel can become unimaginably more difficult. Grief can’t easily be defined or categorized, and with holiday grief, no one person will react the same. Some might try to run away from the holiday celebrations completely while others will pretend like nothing’s changed. Those are not healthy ways to cope with holiday grief, so here are some suggestions: T R U S T T H AT G R I E F I S PA R T O F H E A L I N G
It’s important for families to understand that their grief is normal and that it can surge during the holidays — even years after a loss. And that’s okay. Grief just shows that a loved one may be gone, but they are never forgotten. It’s important to accept the emotions, not avoid them. D O N ’ T C A N C E L T H E H O L I D AY S
“What’s the point?” That’s the question many ask as the holiday celebrations approach. The smell of a certain candle or the sound of a certain song can trigger reminders and emotions of loss, and they think that by avoiding the holidays altogether they can avoid grief. While certain events or parties are okay to skip out on, those grieving shouldn’t isolate themselves from friends and family completely. Being together brings about a sense of community and comfort, and it’s likely that other
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Grief isn’t moving on or getting over a loss, it’s about adjusting to a new phase of life. And that means finding new traditions or building on old ones. That could mean spending the holidays at someone else’s home this year, leaving an extra chair out at dinner, or giving a special holiday toast. GIVE BACK
The holidays also are a time for giving back. For a grieving family, doing so can help ease their pain and help lift their spirit. It’s also another way to honor their loved one. Volunteering at a soup kitchen, donating gifts to families in need, or donating to a charity are great ways to offer something good this holiday season. ACTIVITIES FOR CHILDREN
For children, the holidays are not only a difficult time — but a confusing time as well. Children’s grief might not be easily recognizable, but it’s still important that they get the support they need. Encourage them to express themselves through activities like making a holiday card for the deceased, going through old photo albums of past holidays, or creating a memorial ornament for their loved one. No matter what your families do to deal with their grief, it’s important for them to remember that each person is different, and they should find a way to cope that works for them. T O R E A D M O R E , V I S I T:
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5 Ideas for Your Next Holiday Remembrance Program Holiday remembrance programs are a great way to help families through a holiday season without their loved one. Each year, funeral homes, hospice centers, nursing homes, hospitals, and other community organizations put on holiday remembrance programs. Some have been putting them on for years. So how do you keep the families coming back, year after year? Here are a few ideas you can try at your holiday remembrance program this year — whether you’re hosting one for the first time or you’re a seasoned veteran.
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LUMINARIAS
Candles have been used throughout history to honor the dead. Luminarias are a beautiful way to use candles to recognize a life, and very easy to make if you don’t want to order premade ones. For your remembrance program, consider creating or ordering a luminaria for each person lost in the last year. You can put their name on the luminaria along with a simple design. For safety, consider using flameless votive candles rather than traditional ones. If you do choose real candles, be sure to weigh down the luminarias with sand so they don’t easily tip over, place them off to the side where people won’t be walking, and keep emergency supplies nearby in case of an accident.
TRIBUTE CENTER
Ditch the pre-printed stationery and get personal. With more than 500 different themes for print-ondemand memorial folders, prayer cards, thank-you cards, bookmarks, candles, and DVD packaging, our easy-to-use Tribute Center software makes personalization possible. C O N TA C T U S F O R M O R E I N F O , O R V I S I T O U R W E B S I T E TO D O W N LOA D T R I B U T E C E N T E R F O R F R E E !
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LANTERN RELEASES
Lantern releases are a great way to figuratively let go of the grief. Consider having a bunch of lanterns and lighters on hand for families to release. You can give a lantern to every person in attendance, or just release a small group of them. If you do decide to do a lantern release, be sure to keep the environment in mind. Buying biodegradable and paper-based lanterns will help reduce litter and negative effects on nearby wildlife and ecosystems. DOVE RELEASES
White doves have traditionally been seen as a symbol of love and peace. Many companies will perform dove releases for you with trained doves, but you will have to check well ahead of time to ensure it is a possibility for your event. Sometimes doves cannot be released because there are hazards nearby, the weather is bad, it’s too far away for them to safely fly home, it’s too late in the day, or various other reasons. If you do plan a dove release, it’s a good idea to have a backup idea in case it has to be canceled last minute. M E M O R I A L WA L L S
Ask the families who are attending to send pictures of their loved ones, or use photos from their online obituaries to arrange on a wall together. Many families will want to show each other who they lost, and share stories about them with one another. This is a great way to encourage your families to interact with one another while remembering those who were lost. REMEMBRANCE TREES
Decorate some remembrance trees with the Frazer Consultants collection of tribute ornaments that can be personalized with the deceased’s name and life span. These ornaments also can double as a gift to the families who attend your program. You can get ornaments in a variety of shapes, such as angels, butterflies, doves, and snowflakes. Consider what kind of ornament your families might want, and also consider purchasing ornament stands for families as well. While ornaments can hang on your remembrance tree at the event, not every family has a tree they can use, and some might want to have their ornament on display year-round. T O R E A D M O R E , V I S I T:
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TRIBUTE VIDEOS
Easy-to-create cinematic quality memorial videos for families. With more than 65 cinematic intros and endings, 200 songs, 600 scenic video clips, and 500 themes for DVD packaging, you can create a personalized video in minutes.
STATIONERY ADVERTISEMENT
C O N TA C T U S F O R M O R E I N F O , O R V I S I T O U R
W E B S I T E TO D O W N LOA D T R I B U T E C E N T E R F O R F R E E !
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Funeral Stationery Trends that Matter to Families Today’s families are less attracted to the more traditional funeral services and rituals than ever before. To them, the most important components of modern funeral services are personalization and affordability.
Baby Boomers have really helped to usher in this new era of personalization, and that progression is reflected in the way that they plan funerals for themselves or their loved ones. A growing number of Baby Boomers favor personalized celebrations over conventional funeral services. Fittingly, this trend is beginning to impact all aspects of today’s funerals, and has led to an uptick in demand for custom urns, coffins, and services. Of course, the appeal of personalized products and services isn’t limited to Baby Boomers; personalization is fast becoming a priority for families across all demographics. Families want to plan a service or memorial that serves as a reminder of their loved one’s unique life and passions. To remain connected to the desires and interests of the families you serve, your funeral home should offer a host of personalization options. Of course, to remain appealing to your families, these options need to be affordable as well. Personalization shouldn’t necessarily translate to higher costs. Basically, your funeral home should be able to provide high-quality customization without high costs for you or your families. Easier said than done, right? So what’s a simple way to achieve the best of both worlds?
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A L L- I N - O N E S O L U T I O N
Funeral stationery is an expected component of most services, and it conveniently allows for nearly unlimited personalization options. With the right stationery, families can honor and remember their loved ones in a completely unique and beautiful way. An all-in-one creative suite is a powerful way to introduce both affordability and customization to your funeral home’s stationery. Upscale creative suites save you both money and time without sacrificing the quality that your families have come to expect from your funeral home. S AV I N G M O N E Y
Creative suites allow families to choose the type of stationery they like and offer input and feedback, and allow for your funeral home to print in-house. No more minimum orders, and no more unused inventory sitting in your funeral home collecting dust. By only printing what you need, you can save a great deal of money — and when you save, you can pass the savings on to your families as well.
home is burdened with more work than they can handle. All-in-one creative suites often come with custom themes and designs, and are easily and quickly utilized by all staff members. You can create complete sets of cards, register books, bookmarks, and programs with just a few clicks of a mouse. T R I B U T E C E N T E R ’ S F U N E R A L S TAT I O N E R Y
Frazer Consultants’ Tribute Center has more than 500 themes, layout options, and stylized poems and quotes for your funeral stationery needs. The level of customization is designed to tell the unique life story of a loved one. Start creating holiday tribute stationery today by downloading the Tribute Center suite for free! T O R E A D M O R E , V I S I T:
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S AV I N G T I M E
Personalized products shouldn’t mean that your funeral
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Do More Deaths Occur Around the Holidays? It’s the most wonderful time of the year. But according to the Center for Disease Control, it’s also the deadliest. During Christmas, New Year’s, and the surrounding holiday season, there is an unusual spike in the number of deaths. A CDC study found that people have a greater chance of dying on Christmas or New Year’s Eve than on any other day of the year. S T U DY I N G T H E S P I K E
University of California, San Diego Professor David Phillips is leading the research on holidays and the increase in deaths. His recent study “Christmas and New Year as risk factors for death” published in the Social Science & Medicine journal analyzed death certificates over a 25-year period that started in 1979 and ended in 2004 and focused on the days between December 25th and January 7th. Phillips and his researchers found that out of all five of the most common diseases that can cause death — circulatory problems, respiratory diseases, endocrine/nutritional/ metabolic problems, digestive diseases, and cancer — all of them peaked on or around Christmas. As reported by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, the study found that “42,325 more people died of natural causes — which make up about 93 percent of all deaths — during the two-week Christmas/New Year holiday period than would normally be expected, given the typical winter increase in 14 | The Meaningful Funeral
deaths. There also were increases in every major disease group of 1 percent to 10 percent and in every demographic group of 3 percent to 9 percent.” To add to the odd phenomenon, there have been other studies that have found that unnatural causes of death — like homicide or car accidents — also surge around the holiday season. And, contrary to popular belief, suicide is one cause of death that doesn’t rise during the holiday season. In fact, the CDC found suicide rates are lowest in the month of December. REASONS BEHIND THE SPIKE
So, what’s causing the spike of holiday deaths — specifically in natural deaths? The cold weather? Seasonal illnesses like the flu? Excessive holiday eating and drinking leading to cardiac problems? All that was disproven by the study. What about stress and sadness? According to CNBC, the holidays are ranked high as one of the most stressful times
of the year. Could holiday stress be the culprit? The study doesn’t rule it out, but Phillips and his team aren’t ready to accept it as the sole reason. Also, according to a 2013 CNN Health Report, “Phillips and his team looked at the number of deaths among the Alzheimer’s population, theorizing they may be less aware of the holidays and the stress it can trigger.” But they found that deaths in Alzheimer patients spiked too. There’s also a lack of evidence to verify stress as a cause, per the study’s findings. The answer could be a simple one. The researchers think that it comes down to access to health care. The study concludes with two main theories:
Some patients may prefer to stay at home with family and friends to celebrate the holidays. These patients might ignore potentially serious symptoms and avoid treatment altogether. Phillips hopes his study can shed light on the “holiday effect” and help families and hospitals work to bring down the surge in deaths that occur during the season. Then, hopefully, it can finally get back to being the most wonderful time of the year. T O R E A D M O R E , V I S I T:
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As medical professionals take time off for the holidays, hospitals and emergency departments get crowded. The overcrowding can cause stress on the facility and increase the response time needed for urgent care.
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holiday REMEMBR ANCE PROGR AM
How to organize & market your event to increase family turnout. Every year, funeral homes across the country organize holiday remembrance programs that enrich the lives of families in their community. As the holiday season approaches, it’s time to start thinking about your funeral home’s holiday remembrance program. It’s a great way to connect with families as you help them through the first holiday season without their loved one. It’s also a positive way to establish your community presence and set yourself apart from your competitors. The earlier you start planning your program, the better. In this guide, we offer a step-by-step plan to perfecting your program; ensuring you maximize family turnout and satisfaction. First, let’s not forget the importance of a holiday remembrance program for families. H E L P FA M I L I E S C R E AT E N E W R I T U A L S T H I S S E A S O N
Typically, the holiday season is about togetherness. It’s a time for families, friends, and community. Unfortunately, for many families the holiday season highlights what — or who — is missing. Whether it’s the first year of loss or several years down the line, grief surges during the holidays. Psychologists say one of the most effective ways to deal with grief around the holidays is to create new rituals. Rituals that incorporate the memory of a loved one into the holidays themselves. These rituals can range from a traditional candle lighting ceremony, to decorating a tree with memorial ornaments, to something as simple as watching classic holiday movies and baking holiday treats. These new rituals can go on to become part of a family’s holiday tradition for years to come. This is where your funeral home can offer help. A holiday remembrance program is a chance for your funeral home to reach out to families who need help healing and bring a little light into their life. And it will leave them with a lasting impression of your funeral home. C O N N E C T W I T H YO U R C O M M U N I T Y
A holiday remembrance program also helps your funeral home establish a positive community presence. You’ll be able to build deep relationships with community members. And these relationships will likely lead to you serving these families again in the future. The Meaningful Funeral | 17
More than anything, people want a funeral home they can trust — a funeral home that cares for them and their family. By showing you’re committed to serving families for more than just funerals, you’re building trust. Hosting a holiday remembrance program demonstrates that, and more. It also puts your funeral home a few steps ahead of your competition. A Harvard Business Review study — Strategy and Society: the link between competitive advantage and corporate social responsibility — has found that a business that remains active in their communities will greatly outperform competitors over a long-term period. And like we said, it’s best to start planning your holiday program early. Let’s go over how to get started, including information about choosing a location, finding guest speakers, picking out a perfect gift to give families, and so much more. B U I L D I N G YO U R D R E A M T E A M
The first step is to start putting together a team. Assigning certain tasks to team members ensures a smooth planning process and makes sure that nothing gets forgotten. Below are some ideas for tasks you can assign to certain staff members. Project & Communication Manager: This person will oversee the other team members as well as the overall event. They will step in to assist other team members when needed. They also manage the communication aspect and make sure everyone on the team is on the same page. Decorator: This team member oversees the decorations. After a venue is booked, they are in charge of getting a holiday tree, decorations, lighting and sound equipment, and anything else needed to get the holiday spirit flowing. Catering/Holiday Treats: If you plan on feeding your guests or even offering some small holiday treats, it’s a good idea to put someone in charge. This team member will work out the details with a caterer or organize community help to bake up some holiday treats. Promotions/Marketing: This individual is the person responsible for getting the word out. They will organize the social media campaign to promote awareness of your funeral home’s holiday remembrance program. They also will reach out to local media outlets to help spread the message to the community. Photographer: During the event, you may want to have a team member or two in charge of capturing some photos or videos. These can be shared with families after the event and can help encourage even more attendance at next year’s event.
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C O N S I D E R I N G A PA R T N E R
If planning your own holiday remembrance program sounds daunting, or if you might be too busy around the holidays this year, consider partnering with another local organization. Adding a partner isn’t a bad idea. Just look at some of the benefits: Reduced costs and shared resources: If you’re going at it alone, your funeral home is going to be footing the whole bill. That could include things like catering, the venue, all decorations, invites, holiday gifts, and any other expenses. But if you’re able to partner with another local organization
or business, you could cut your expenses in half. You’ll also be able to share resources.
know a guest speaker willing to participate in the program or they can offer their own insight and experiences.
Bigger guest list: While your expenses get halved, your audience doubles. You can reach out to all the families you serve, and your partner can reach out to those they serve. A bigger event means more opportunities to network and reach new client families.
Listed here are a few examples of organizations that your funeral home can possibly consider partnering with: hospice caregivers, nursing homes/senior living facilities, area churches or religious organizations, EMS professionals, hospitals/clinics, schools and community colleges, or other service organizations, such as the Knights of Columbus, Kiwanis, Salvation Army, or the VFW.
Split workload: The holidays are a busy time for everybody. By partnering up, you can save your staff and yourself some time from having to set up and plan the whole event. Fresh perspectives: If you’re looking to bring in guest speakers for the program, a partner can help. They might
WA N T T O R E A D M O R E ?
Download the rest of our free guide on planning a holiday remembrance program (as well as a free holiday event planning checklist!) at:
frazerconsultants.com/hrp2017
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Build Your Word-of-Mouth Marketing This Holiday Season TV and radio commercials, ads in the paper, and big billboard advertisements are all great ways to market your funeral home. But if you want to make your mark in the community and distinguish yourself from competitors, the key to standing out is simple — be human.
When dealing with any business, but especially funeral homes, people crave connection. They want to have a personalized, human experience. And it pays off in the long run. By building personal connections with the families you serve, you increase your word-of-mouth marketing. That leads to an overall trust in your funeral home. A 2015 Nielsen report on the global trust in advertising found that 83% of the people surveyed trust “Recommendations from people I know” much more than any other type of advertising format. To put that in perspective, trust in ads on TV and in the newspaper are only 63% and 60%, respectively. So how can you take a more personal approach in your branding to build person-to-person recommendations within your community? You can start by focusing on
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the upcoming holiday season. For many, the holidays are about being together with family. But for a few others, the holidays can be especially tough. Take this holiday season as an opportunity to establish personal connections with the families in your community. These are a few ideas to get you started. HOLD A FUNDRAISER
One way to help build connections in the community is to host a fundraiser. It’s a great way to give back as well as establish a positive community presence. There are a lot of good causes you can focus your fundraiser on, such as hosting a gift or toy drive for underprivileged families with children, collecting winter jackets or clothes, or running a food drive to assist community food pantries or a local church.
WEBSITES
websites ad
CROWDFUNDING Our websites VERTISEMENT work hard A soDyou don’t have to. Frazer-powered websites are more than just beautifully designed — we put thought into every aspect of your site so that your families get the features they need, and we’re constantly adding features at no additional cost to your funeral home. C A L L T O R E Q U E S T A F R E E D E M O N S T R AT I O N T O D AY !
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H AV E A H O L I D AY P O T L U C K D I N N E R
Most families come together to share a family meal during the holidays. But a lot of people aren’t that lucky. Your funeral home can help build a sense of community by inviting families who’ve lost a loved one in the past year to attend a potluck dinner. You also could extend the invitation to a local church or a nursing home. A holiday dinner is a great way to connect with each other and cure loneliness this holiday season. H O L D A H O L I D AY R E M E M B R A N C E P R O G R A M
There are many funeral homes that already put on annual holiday remembrance programs. They are another great way to bring families together to honor deceased loved ones over the holiday season. A holiday program is a very simple gesture that can help families dealing with loss, and it’s a great way for you to stay connected with your community. For an even bigger turnout — and to help cut back on expenses — consider partnering with another organization in your community. O F F E R A S M A L L K E E P S A K E F O R FA M I L I E S
For families dealing with the first year of a loss, a small keepsake gift can mean a lot. Frazer Consultants’ memorial stationery, Life Journey Candles, and personalized Tribute Ornaments all are great gifts to consider. It’s a simple gesture to show families that they’re in your thoughts this holiday season. D O N AT E I N H O N O R O F FA M I L I E S
If you’re able to afford it, you could make a small donation to a charity in honor of all the families you’ve served over the past year. You can notify families of your donation by sending them a personalized letter. T O R E A D M O R E , V I S I T:
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T R I B U T E LOA N S
Offer the flexibility your families need with Tribute Loans. With financing, families can afford to give their loved ones the send-off they deserve. Offering financing directly on your website means one more service you offer families, and it also means your funeral home gets paid up front. C A L L T O R E Q U E S T A F R E E D E M O N S T R AT I O N O F T R I B U T E L O A N S T O D AY !
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A New Kind of Holiday Dinner Party
room anymore. That hot cup of cocoa as you warm up with your siblings by the fire is a thing of the past. Holiday traditions — big and small — are different after a loss. But some grieving folks are using the one thing they have in common — a recent significant loss — and creating new traditions from it. T H E D I N N E R PA R T Y
For those facing a recent loss, the holidays sure don’t feel like the most wonderful time of the year. As a funeral director, you know that when a family’s loved one dies, their world is transformed forever. And one of the most evident times of loss is during the holiday season — a time typically marked with togetherness and tradition.
Comfort food can help heal the grieving, so it's no surprise that a group of 20- and 30-year-olds are putting that mantra in action. They formed the Dinner Party, a gathering for people who feel alone in their loss but want community. The group’s official mission statement reads: “To transform life after loss from an isolating experience into one marked by community support, candid conversation, and forward movement.” And it all takes place at a potluck dinner table. H O W I T S TA R T E D
The little moments that made up each holiday celebration now have a noticeable absence. The annual family trip to grandma and grandpa’s house for Christmas isn’t taken this year, or the sweet smell of mom’s famous sugar cookies doesn’t waft around the
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The first official "Dinner Party" started in 2010 when five friends were brought together by the grief of their recently deceased parents. The five of them gathered together — cooking their parents' favorite dishes — and shared stories of how they were changed by their losses.
Lennon Flowers, one of the co-founders of the Dinner Party, told CNN that soon “Friends heard about it and more friends heard about it. We heard from people who'd lost siblings and friends and partners, and realized we were less alone than we thought. Slowly, one table became two tables and five tables.” By 2013, the Dinner Party became official. The five friends registered as a nonprofit and opened their tables up to those who wanted to break bread and discuss their grief. And those tables quickly filled up. According to CNN, the group now has around 140 official hosts who have helped connect more than 1,000 strangers in around 50 different cities — from Alaska to Australia. HOW IT WORKS
The concept behind the Dinner Party remains pretty much the same as when it first started in 2010. Interested guests who want to discuss their grief simply fill out a form to reserve a seat at a table for an upcoming dinner party. While the group currently operates in major metro areas with their official hosts, they encourage anyone anywhere to start their own dinner party — and even offer an official guidebook on how to host a perfect dinner party. The party can take place anywhere, too. It could be a picnic at a park, someone’s house, or at an official venue.
Everyone is encouraged to bring a dish, especially something that the deceased would have enjoyed. From there, guests can share whatever’s on their mind. As Flowers said in her interview with CNN, “We've found that an experience that's normally isolating is actually an extraordinary tool for connection: a way to go beneath the surface, and to find meaning and commonality with someone you might not meet otherwise.” H O W T O G E T I N V O LV E D
A small dinner party hosted by your funeral home is a perfect way to help grieving families start new traditions this holiday season. The time of year is typically filled with family reunions, holiday gatherings, and other holiday parties. But for the people in your community facing a recent loss, this time of year can get lonely. You can help by filling out a form to become an official Dinner Party host in your area (which grants you access to their network and resources). You also can organize and throw your own potluck dinner. Invite guests in the community who might otherwise spend the holidays alone and make a new tradition out of it! T O R E A D M O R E , V I S I T:
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Helping Children Cope with Grief During the Holidays The holidays can be especially difficult for those who have lost a loved one. Holidays are filled with family gatherings, activities, traditions, and memories; everything is supposed to be merry and bright.
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But the absence of a loved one during this time of togetherness may only serve to magnify one’s loss, leading to deeper sadness and feelings of loneliness. For children, the holiday season can be not only emotional, but confusing following the loss of their loved one. In addition to dealing with their own grief, they may not know how to navigate the grief they witness and sense from adults. They also are still likely to feel some of the excitement of the holidays despite their grief, which could cause additional feelings of guilt or shame. Adults sometimes struggle with how to help grieving children, and doing so during the holiday season might seem particularly daunting. How do grieving adults trying to manage the holidays help children cope too? The good news is that there are some very simple ways one can support a grieving child. These six tips adapted from Kidlutions: Solutions for Kids can help children cope with grief during the holidays.
ASK FOR THEIR INPUT
Ask children how they want to celebrate the holiday now that things have changed. Old family traditions may be too difficult to manage after the loss of a loved one so ask about what traditions children think should be “kept” and what should be “put on hold.” BE FLEXIBLE
Children’s expectations regarding the holiday and feelings about what they want or don’t want to do may change from one day to the next. Be patient and go with the flow. While on one particular day a holiday activity might seem too difficult for the child to cope with, the next day the child may feel differently. That’s okay. C R E AT E N E W T R A D I T I O N S
Ask the child if he or she would like to come up with a new way to celebrate or honor the memory of the lost loved one. Perhaps lighting a candle in their memory through the holidays, creating a special “memory” tree with ornaments that reflect the loved one’s life, or donating in their memory to a favorite charity.
LISTEN
It’s simple, it’s effective, and it’s important. Allow the grieving children to talk about whatever it is they want to. Tell them they can talk to you at any time about anything. Keeping the lines of communication open is crucial for grieving children. They need to know they have someone to talk to who cares about what they are going through. A L LO W A L L F E E L I N G S
Children may feel a wide array of emotions while grieving. Let them know there is no one way or right way to grieve. Validate their feelings and try to help them explore what they are feeling and why.
H AV E S O M E F U N
Grief is a heavy burden to bear, especially for children. It can take a toll on them, impacting their everyday “normal” in profound ways. It is important that through the grief children can continue to be children and to have fun. Find ways to lighten the mood, encourage some laughter and playfulness. Remind children that it is okay to find joy in the holidays — even after a loved one has departed. T O R E A D M O R E , V I S I T:
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Crowdfunding Tips to Help Your Families
D E L E G AT E A F A M I LY M E M B E R
When a family chooses to crowdfund the funeral, ask them to delegate a family member or two to be in charge of spreading the word and following up with thank-you cards. That way the rest of the family can focus on other arrangements for the funeral service. G E T T H E I N F O R M AT I O N U P E A R LY
When families are faced with an unexpected death or financial hardship, crowdfunding from their community can be a blessing. And communities often are more than happy to help with a family’s funeral expenses. In recent years, Americans have been more charitable than ever before. 2015 was America’s most generous year ever, with more than $370 billion donated.
C R O W D F U N D I N G I S A N I N C R E A S I N G LY P O P U L A R O P T I O N
Donations are not just coming from large organizations or rich philanthropists — according to the Boston Globe, only about 14% of that $370 billion came from private foundations and 5% came from corporations. The rest came from the pockets of individuals. The Globe article found that “Nearly seven out of 10 American households donate to at least one charitable cause each year, at an average annual rate of about $2,600.” And we’ve also found that with crowdfunding in particular, most Americans are extremely comfortable with donating to a campaign. And not just any crowdfunding campaign. According to the Pew Research Center, the most common crowdfunding donation made was to help a family or friend in need. So, neighbors and friends have proven that they are willing to help those in need. But because crowdfunding a funeral is still a first for many families, it can be hard for a family to effectively spread the word about their campaign when they have so many other funeral arrangements to account for. That’s why we’ve put together a list to help your funeral home and families reach their goals for a crowdfunding campaign through Frazer Consultants’ Tribute Pay.
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Have the family get you all the necessary information about the deceased as soon as possible. The earlier the campaign is started, the more time it has to pick up steam and visibility within the community. USE SOCIAL MEDIA
Encourage the family to share the campaign on all their social media accounts. According to Nonprofit Hub, a campaign that’s shared on Facebook can see donations increase by up to 350%. You also can share crowdfunding campaigns via your funeral home’s social media pages. B E C L E A R A B O U T W H AT I T ’ S F O R
Tell your families to keep their campaign straightforward. Families might choose to crowdfund for a variety of reasons — funeral expenses, medical expenses, support for a spouse and children, a memorial or tribute fund — whatever the reason, make sure the campaign states the objective. That way there’s no confusion when people donate. O N LY U S E O N E S O U R C E T O R A I S E M O N E Y
A campaign won’t do as well if it’s scattered all over different websites. Make sure families only have one campaign running to streamline the donation process and avoid confusion. Tribute Pay’s crowdfunding feature is found right on the obituary page, making it easier for friends and family to donate. L O O K F O R H E L P L O C A L LY
The most successful campaigns start locally. One of the best places for a family in need is at their church. A church can make an announcement about the crowdfunding campaign at a Sunday service or mention it in their newsletter. If the family is part of any clubs or community organizations, they also can seek help spreading the word through those groups. The local media also can be another resource for making crowdfunded campaigns more visible. T O R E A D M O R E , V I S I T:
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T R I B U T E PAY
Crowdfunding options without the risk. With Frazer-powered websites, your families can host crowdfunding campaigns for memorial funds, medical expenses, charity donations, funeral expenses and more. The best part? Your funeral home is in charge, traffic stays on your website, and you get paid up front. C A L L T O R E Q U E S T A F R E E D E M O N S T R AT I O N O F T R I B U T E C R O W D F U N D I N G T O D AY !
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Prioritizing is Hard, but Necessary for Funeral Directors Funeral directors have one of the most difficult jobs there are, and not always for the reasons that people outside the profession believe. It’s not just difficult because we deal with death every day, though that is never easy and can wear on us emotionally at times. Our jobs are difficult because this career is so multifaceted — the demands on funeral directors are numerous, and no day is ever the same as the next. Funeral directors are a little bit of everything — event planners, secretaries, grief counselors, administrators, community members, healthcare workers, businesspeople, mothers, fathers, sons, daughters — the list goes on. That’s why prioritization is such an important skill for a funeral director to have. To be successful, a funeral director must be able to balance giving families what they need while also serving the best interests of themselves and their funeral home. These tips will help you stay organized and keep your priorities in line. Take care of yourself. Don’t forget that your physical and
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emotional well-being is an important priority, too. If you aren’t taking care of yourself first, it’s very difficult to take care of others and run a business at the same time. Take care of your families. Aside from yourself and your family, your client families should be highest on your list of priorities. Their needs should go above everything else, and if you can’t prioritize them yourself, you should ensure that someone else at your funeral home does. Set goals. Set aside time each week to look at the tasks you have at hand and set goals for completing them. Stay organized. When you are prioritizing tasks, look at these factors and organize accordingly: How urgent are they? Do they have a very specific deadline? How important are they? Even if something isn’t urgent, it should be prioritized higher than other tasks if it’s something that’s important for your success. What amount of effort needs to go into this task? Can it be split
F R A Z E R C U S T O M E R S S AV E T I M E B Y H AV I N G EVERYTHING THEY NEED IN ONE PLACE.
Our websites are easy to manage, and you can even manage them from your mobile device through the Frazer Web Manager iOS and Android apps.
into smaller tasks? How valuable is this task to you? To your client families? Your funeral home? Is this something you need to do yourself, or is it something that can or should be delegated? Do an audit. Set aside time annually, semiannually, or even quarterly to take a look at some of the big things involving you and your funeral home, such as: Is your funeral home currently compliant with all laws and necessary permits, certificates, etc.? Is the technology you use up-to-date and effective? Are there ways that you can improve your skills or the skills of the rest of your staff to better serve your families? Are your facilities upto-date? Do they need any maintenance or upgrades? Are you proactively looking at your funeral home’s future and taking into account new trends? Communicate. Discuss all of your short-term and longterm goals with the entire staff and make sure everyone is on the same page and understands what their roles are.
Notifications, sympathy store orders, website stats, pre-plans, contact forms, authorizations, upcoming services, and so much more — right at your fingertips, everywhere you go.
Make a plan or two. What’s most important when it comes to prioritizing is taking the time to set up a plan for both the short- and long-term. Even though your priorities will need to shift at times, having a strong plan in place will help you stay organized and on top of everything that needs done. If you find that you don’t have enough time in the day to complete everything you need, perhaps it’s time to invest in technology that helps you stay organized and saves you time. T O R E A D M O R E , V I S I T:
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CANDLES
A light in the darkness of grief. Our Life Journey Candles are a great way for families to honor and remember their loved ones. Order your starter kit with 3 candles and gift boxes for just $39 and start creating personalized candles in-house with Tribute Center today!
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2 5 0 1 PA R M E N T E R S T R E E T SUITE 300A M I D D L E TO N , W I 5 3 5 6 2
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ORNAMENTS
A timeless gift to remember their loved one. Our easy-to-personalize glass and crystal ornaments are perfect for families during the holiday season. Available in angel, snowflake, dove, and butterfly shapes, and completely customizable by your funeral home in-house.
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