The Meaningful Funeral - Issue 5 | Summer 2018 by Frazer Consultants

THE MEANINGFUL

FUNER AL A N E X C L U S I V E P U B L I C A T I O N by F R A Z E R C O N S U L T A N T S

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ISSUE 5

Table of Contents

NFDA: Funeral Planning Not a Priority for Most Families

Families feel that it’s important to discuss funeral wishes, yet few actually do.

Preplanning a funeral is the responsible thing to do, yet many families still put it off. Understandably, talking about funerals and death can be a difficult topic. If you’re looking for an easy solution to help families start discussing preplanning arrangements, help them create their own ICE book.

How Have the Talk of a Lifetime Can Help with Funeral Preplanning Many families understand the importance of preplanning, but there’s still a disconnect between understanding and acting.

How to Facilitate Conversations About Funeral Preplanning To engage someone on the topic of preplanning their funeral, the conversation should center around two important points: lessening the burden on families, and making sure your final wishes are fulfilled.

An Easy Way to Help Families Preplan Funeral Arrangements

Even the Queen of England Preplans Her Funeral As it turns out, even the Queen of England has preplanned for a funeral. An article from The Guardian, titled ‘London Bridge is Down’: The Secret Plan for the Days After the Queen’s Death, outlines these preplanning arrangements.

F E AT U R E A R T I C L E

A Resource Guide for Making End-Of-Life Arrangements Most Americans agree that memorialization is an important part of the healing process following the loss of a loved one. Yet very few Americans actually go about making end-of-life arrangements for themselves or talking about it with their friends and family. If we all recognize the true importance of memorialization, why do so many put if off?

Pinterest is an excellent tool for planning weddings, parties, and other events, so why not funerals? We’re now entering a death-positive era — people are more open to discussing death, and families recognize the importance of having these conversations.

Is Death Losing Its Taboo? Every culture throughout history has had their own unique way of dealing with death. For many Americans, we’ve had a complicated relationship with it — often treating it as taboo. But is that all coming to an end?

How to Use Pinterest to Help with Funeral Planning

A New Movement That Discusses Death at the Dinner Table A nonprofit is hoping to spur conversation about our own mortality, end-of-life care, and funeral planning. And it’s all taking place at the dinner table.

Despite some recent strides, death is still a difficult topic for Americans to talk about. While 89% of people believe that “a discussion about their end-of-life wishes would be meaningful,” only 17% have done so.

F E AT U R E A R T I C L E

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Discussing Death: How This Event is Breaking the Taboo

How to Bring Up Payments During the Arrangement Conference Though delicacy is important, there’s certain information you need from each family that may not be easy to ask for, like their method of funeral payment.

Four Ideas for Starting the Preplanning Conversation with Families Preplanning is a financially sound decision that saves families the stress of making decisions in a difficult time, and it ensures a person’s final wishes are met — leading to a more meaningful funeral experience.

Letter from the Editor Dear readers, Welcome to The Meaningful Funeral magazine. Our goal with this magazine and its articles is to help your funeral home learn new skills, build your funeral home’s reputation, and serve your current client families in more meaningful ways. Our mission at Frazer Consultants is to help funeral homes reimagine the funeral experience for their families, and this magazine is one more way for us to do that. One of the main focuses of this issue is preplanning. We don’t have to tell you that it’s difficult to get people to plan ahead for their funerals — you know that better than anyone. And that’s exactly the reason why we’ve put together a number of suggestions for helping families start those conversations long before they step through the doors to your funeral home. Together, we can start to change the taboo that surrounds the topic of death and get people to see preplanning as a positive thing. Want to read this issue or others on the go? We’ve got you covered. We’ve made every issue of The Meaningful Funeral available for free on our website, all you have to do is visit frazerconsultants.com/meaningful and click “Resources” at the top of the page. I hope that you enjoy reading this issue of The Meaningful Funeral, and I look forward to hearing your feedback as we continue to improve our magazine. If you have any suggestions for future magazine content, we would love to hear them — just email us at marketing@frazerconsultants.com. And if you really love our content, visit frazerconsultants.com/meaningful and sign up for our newsletter to have fresh content and funeral news delivered to your inbox every week!

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NFDA: Funeral Planning Not a Priority for Most Families The NFDA recently released their findings from their annual Consumer Awareness and Preferences Study. One of their key findings? Families feel that it’s important to discuss funeral wishes, yet few actually do. But, there are ways your funeral home can help families preplan their funerals. P R E P L A N N I N G I S I M P O R TA N T, B U T N O T A PRIORITY

The NFDA found that 62.5% of families “felt it was very important to communicate their funeral plans and wishes to family members prior to their own death.” Yet, when asked how many actually did, only 21.4% responded that they had made funeral arrangements for themselves. When the respondents were asked why they hadn’t made any arrangements or shared funeral plans, they responded either that preplanning wasn’t a priority, that they hadn’t thought much about their funeral wishes, or that prepaying was too expensive. There’s a silver lining to this. While so many families have yet to preplan their funeral, the

desire is definitely there. So, what can your funeral home do about it? One creative way to get families talking is to create an informative video for social media that goes over the benefits of preplanning. You also can encourage families to create an In Case of Emergency (ICE) book for their household. It’s an indirect way to bring up the topic of funeral planning and can help ease families into the conversation. Or host a lighthearted event where families discuss their bucket lists as another indirect way to talk about funeral preplanning. There are many creative ways to help families start the preplanning conversation.

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FA M I L I E S WA N T P E R S O N A L S E R V I C E S , B U T WON’T SHOP

Another big finding from the NFDA was that families value personal funeral services. They want new and one-of-a-kind ways to celebrate and honor their loved ones. But most families won’t shop around to compare services or prices. The NFDA found that only 18.9% of families contacted more than one funeral home. This means that most families will simply choose the first funeral home they contact. And that’s that. For some families, it might be a funeral home they’ve used in the past. But what about families who have never had to plan a funeral before? That’s where an effective marketing strategy becomes important. By raising awareness of your services in your community, you’re going to increase your chances of being called first. To increase awareness and engagement, establish thought leadership in your community to set yourself apart and find and identify your funeral home’s unique selling point or competitive advantage. Once you determine these, apply modern marketing principles to help create a positive presence in your community and grow your social media audience to engage more local families online. FUNERALS OUTSIDE THE FUNERAL HOME

The NFDA also found families want a ceremony at a non-traditional location. They are choosing outdoor settings, homes, or other meaningful locations that capture the personality of their loved one. Your funeral home can update your facility and suggest unique locations to accommodate these funeral wishes. R E L I G I O U S R I T U A L S WA N I N G

Another finding was that the importance of religious rituals is at an all-time low. When asked about the importance of having religion incorporated into the funeral, the families that

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responded with “very important” declined from 49.5% in 2012 to just 39.5% in 2017. According to the NFDA, it’s the lowest it’s ever been, as families are “turning to non-clergy celebrants, a specially trained officiant of an end-of-life service, to conduct ceremonies.” Your funeral home can cater to the rising non-religious trend by learning about the “humanist” funeral — a trend of celebrating human ceremonies that don’t adhere to one particular religion — and creating new rituals that are personal for the family. GREEN FUNERALS GROWING

Another important finding was that the green funeral movement continues to make an impact. The NFDA survey found that more than half of respondents, 53.8%, would be interested in green funeral options. The NFDA listed green services as “use of biodegradable caskets, formaldehyde-free embalming process, recycled paper products” and other eco-friendly funeral practices. M A N ’ S B E S T F R I E N D C O M F O R T S FA M I L I E S

Therapy dogs are making headlines each day as funeral homes continue to adopt their own caring canines. And families are open to the idea. In addition to other findings, the study reported that 34.5% of families said they would be “extremely” or “very interested” in having a therapy dog present at a funeral. C R E AT I N G R I T U A L S W I T H C R E M AT I O N

Here’s another interesting — and important — finding. According to the study, the number of families choosing to have a memorial service after choosing cremation rose to 40.4% in 2017. As more families choose cremation, it’s important to keep in mind that many families still want a unique service to honor their loved one. T O R E A D M O R E , V I S I T:

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How Have the Talk of a Lifetime Can Help with Funeral Preplanning Many families understand the importance of preplanning, but there’s still a disconnect between understanding and acting. Your funeral home can help by participating in the Funeral and Memorial Information Council (FAMIC)’s Have the Talk of a Lifetime campaign. By educating families and providing resources, you can help them start the preplanning conversation. W H O S H O U L D H AV E T H E TA L K ?

Most of the time, people wait to have funeral discussions until they’re older or near the end of life due to illness. But your funeral home can encourage everyone, no matter their age or health, to have the talk. You can help families realize that the conversation is important at any age. It can be with their spouse, parents, children, siblings, relatives, close friends, or other trusted loved ones. W H E R E S H O U L D FA M I L I E S H AV E T H E TA L K ?

Your funeral home can suggest some places for families to have the talk. You also can ease

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their minds by reminding them it doesn’t have to be an intimidating event. It can just be a simple conversation over dinner. For example, your funeral home can suggest having the conversation at the dinner table, in the family room, or in another familiar and comfortable setting that works to help people relax. Or “the talk” can be a fun family outing at their favorite restaurant with good food and conversation. You also can let your families know that your funeral home’s facility is another option. Some people may feel more comfortable having the talk at your funeral home.

H O W C A N Y O U R F U N E R A L H O M E H E L P S TA R T T H E P R E P L A N N I N G C O N V E R S AT I O N ?

The National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) and FAMIC’s Have the Talk of a Lifetime conversation cards are one way to get people talking. The cards have questions about life events, values, and other topics to get them thinking about how they want to be remembered. It’s a fun way for everyone to learn more about each other and how to honor their life. They also are available in both English and Spanish. Another way to help start the conversation is with ICE (In Case of Emergency) books. Your funeral home can provide a list of items to include in ICE books or host an ICE book creation event at your funeral home. Pinterest also is a creative way that families can start the conversation. You can suggest that they create Pinterest boards filled with

funeral themes, poems, and other funeralrelated pins. Or, have an event to help families create the boards and share them with their loved ones. Once families talk about their values and funeral wishes, they can put these ideas into action. An online preplanning form is a great tool for them to start planning — like the online funeral planner that comes with Frazer-powered websites. Your families can start the preplanning process directly on your funeral home’s website, submit their funeral arrangement wishes, and then you can reach out to them to schedule a preplanning appointment to finalize everything.  T O R E A D M O R E , V I S I T:

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How to Facilitate Conversations About Funeral Preplanning The campaign titled “Have the Talk of a Lifetime” is getting some serious attention. The project, created by the Funeral and Memorial Information Council (FAMIC), encourages people — no matter their age, religious convictions, or economic status — to begin discussing something that is an understandably sensitive subject: their impending death, and the services and/or arrangements that will follow.

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At first glance, funeral preplanning seems like an activity that should be reserved exclusively for people who are either very old or very ill. But most of us understand that life doesn’t typically work out the way we anticipate; unexpected tragedies are dealt out indiscriminately and can happen to anyone. Still, mere acceptance of the unpredictable — and unavoidable — nature of mortality doesn’t seem to motivate very many people to begin discussing the particulars. To engage someone on the topic of preplanning their funeral, the conversation should instead center around two important points. Would you like to lessen the burden your loved ones will face after you pass? Death is, of course, hardest on those left behind. When a person dies, their loved ones face a tumultuous and exhaustive journey through grief and the search for acceptance. Planning funeral services is stressful in the best of times; shouldn’t our loved ones be spared from additional suffering? If you’re in a good position to facilitate the conversation about preplanning, begin on this note: instead of some morbid affair, funeral preplanning should be viewed as the last act of kindness we can offer those we love. Do you have any strong thoughts/opinions/ ideas about the way you would like your funeral services to be carried out? The perspective offered by “Have the Talk of a Lifetime” is refreshing: discussing the end of our lives and planning our own funerals is an opportunity. It gives someone the chance to provide their own narrative, and to specify things such as their greatest achievements, memories, and most treasured pieces of advice. Of course, preplanning also allows a person to make their funeral and burial preferences

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clear — something that might forever be a mystery otherwise. It’s important to remember, however, that this portion of the funeral preplanning conversation is likely to make people uncomfortable. A D D I T I O N A L TA L K I N G P O I N T S

Begin the conversation by asking the individuals how they feel about funeral preplanning. Are they generally at peace with the idea, or is there some reluctance? Be respectful of the complex feelings involved. If you’re able to offer some guidance that might provide relief, certainly do so. If not, do your best to simply be present, receptive, and responsive. If the ability to prepay exists, this is another important point to bring up. Funerals are expensive, and families often struggle to secure life insurance payouts or other important benefits in time unless they’re using a tool like Tribute Insurance Assignments. There actually are several different options available for funeral prepayment, and each option will likely come with its own set of questions or concerns. If prepayment is not an option at the time of discussion, remind the individual that the ability to prepay is not a requirement, but rather a suggestion. NEXT STEPS

If the discussion is productive, encourage the person or people you are speaking with to put their wishes into writing, and to share their plans with family members. This allows for any potential conflicts or disagreements to be discussed when a resolution is still a possibility and gives each involved person the opportunity to begin preparing themselves — even when death seems to be a very long way off.  T O R E A D M O R E , V I S I T:

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An Easy Way to Help Families Preplan Funeral Arrangements Preplanning a funeral is the responsible thing to do, yet many families still put it off. Understandably, talking about funerals and death can be a difficult topic. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re looking for an easy solution to help families start discussing preplanning arrangements, help them create their own ICE book.

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PREPLAN WITH ICE: IN CASE OF EMERGENCY

W H AT T O I N C L U D E I N A N I C E B O O K

An ICE book or binder is a great resource for families. It has important documents, contact information, and other vital info needed in the event of an emergency (such as a death, natural disaster, or house fire). It keeps families prepared for the worst, but also gets them to think about what they want for a funeral.

As far as what to include in an ICE book, it will differ depending on each family’s unique situation. Some general important things to include in an ICE book are tax and financing information; such as copies of old tax returns at least five years back, proof of income like pay stubs, a list of bank accounts and bank contact information, a list of investments and debts, and copies of monthly bills and other utilities. Families also should include medical and dental records, as well as information on insurance policies.

By encouraging them to create an ICE book, a family will have quick access to important legal forms and documents, as well as a better idea of the type of funeral or memorial service for their loved ones. H O W T O G E T S TA R T E D

To get families in your community into your funeral home and creating their own ICE books, try holding a how-to seminar at your funeral home or other venue and instruct families on putting together their own ICE book. Or host an open house at your funeral home where you can talk to families one-on-one about creating an ICE book. You can send an invitation in the mail asking families to stop in and talk about an ICE book and preplanning. You also can create different informational preplanning resources, such as your own howto videos for YouTube explaining how and why families should create an ICE book. You can use a social media marketing campaign to market your videos and resources to reach even more families. As you can see, there are several ways to reach out. Use whichever works best for your funeral home and the families in your area. The important thing is to get these families thinking about their future and help make sure they’re prepared.

For personal and legal information, they’ll want to include copies of birth certificates, social security cards, state IDs such as driver’s licenses, marriage certificates, and titles to vehicles. It’s also important that they include a list of passwords for online accounts and subscription services, any important family member contact information, and contact information for churches or religious groups that they belong to. Of course, they also should list their final wishes and funeral arrangements, such as cremation or burial, open or closed casket, type of memorial service, how they want to be memorialized, how they want to pay for the funeral, and other important information. It’s also a good idea that they update their ICE books every year or when a major life event occurs.  T O R E A D M O R E , V I S I T:

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MILLENNIUM BRIDGE

London, United Kingdom

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Even the Queen of England Preplans Her Funeral England has a Dying Matters Awareness Week that promotes the healthy discussion of death and awareness for different funeral options. It’s also a week that encourages preplanning funeral arrangements.

As it turns out, even the Queen of England has preplanned for a funeral. An article from The Guardian, titled ‘London Bridge is Down’: The Secret Plan for the Days After the Queen’s Death, outlines these preplanning arrangements. LO N D O N B R I D G E I S D O W N

Because the Queen has been a symbolic entity for so many countries and for so long, her passing will be felt around the world. That’s why the palace has a plan in place. It’s called London Bridge is Down. And it dates back to the 1960s. The article outlines the massive undertaking and plan in place. It will start with a newsflash announcement that goes out to the world. The article also notes that a “footman in mourning clothes will emerge from a door at Buckingham Palace, cross the dull pink gravel and pin a black-edged notice to the gates. While he does this, the palace website will be transformed into a [somber], single page, showing the same text on a dark background.”

The BBC also will use their emergency Cold War-era alarm system called “RATS” (which is short for radio alert transmission system) to alert people. According to The Guardian, radio stations already have “prepared music lists made up of ‘Mood 2’ (sad) or ‘Mood 1’ (saddest) songs to reach for in times of sudden mourning.” England even has plans in place no matter where in the world Queen Elizabeth might be. The Royal Air Force has a jet ready, equipped with the official royal undertaker’s coffin. According to the article, “in every scenario, the Queen’s body returns to the throne room in Buckingham Palace.” LACK OF PREPLANNING IN AMERICA

In contrast, America lacks a national “Dying Matters Awareness” campaign. And preplanning funeral arrangements and talking about death is still something of a taboo. There are a lot of reasons cited for this. For one, death is a hard topic to discuss, especially

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with those we are closest with. Others have never planned a funeral before, and simply don’t realize the amount of work involved. While there is an interest in preplanning, it doesn’t always equate to actually making arrangements with the funeral home. When the Funeral and Memorial Information Council (FAMIC) conducted a 2015 study, 69% of people would prefer to pre-arrange their own funeral, but only around 17% of people have actually made those arrangements. R E S O U R C E S F O R S TA R T I N G T H E PREPLANNING DISCUSSION

An easy way your funeral home can help start the preplanning discussion is by encouraging families to create bucket lists and In Case of Emergency books. FAMIC’s Have the Talk of a

TAT E M O D E R N M U S E U M

London, United Kingdom

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Lifetime program is another excellent resource. Or you can create your own informational guides about the importance of preplanning a funeral, how to prepay for a funeral, and other important funeral planning topics. Then, you can run a social media campaign to share them with your followers. Another way to reach out to your community is to connect with hospice caregivers to create a consistent connection with families during end-of-life care. That way, you’ve already gotten to know the family and their needs before it comes time for the funeral.  T O R E A D M O R E , V I S I T:

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FRAZER WEBSITES

Websitesthat that Websites arebeautiful beautiful on on are everyscreen. screen. every Frazer offers responsive website design, which means your funeral home’s website responds to every screen it’s viewed on. Whether it’s a mobile phone, tablet, or desktop, you can be sure your site will be both functional and beautiful. C A L L T O R E Q U E S T A F R E E D E M O N S T R AT I O N T O D AY !

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If we all recognize the true importance of memorialization, why do so many put if off? When we avoid talking about our end-of-life wishes, we lose something very important. We lose the ability to capture a life story and to write that final chapter.

By taking the time to have the conversation with loved ones, families can ensure they and their loved ones will be honored and remembered in a way they want. And the family also gets the opportunity to learn more about their loved ones.

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S TAT I S T I C S S H O W P R E P L A N N I N G N O T A PRIORITY

FAMIC, the Funeral and Memorial Information Council, found in their 2015 study that 89% of people surveyed said a discussion about their own end-of-life arrangements would be meaningful to them. 69% said they would prefer to make their own funeral arrangements. But the study also found that only 17% of people have had the discussion about their end-of-life arrangements. The National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) found similar results. Funeral planning and end-of-life arrangements simply aren’t a priority among most Americans. In a 2017 study, they found that 62.5% of families “felt it was very important to communicate their funeral plans and wishes to family members prior to their own death.” But when asked how many did so, only 21.4% said they had made future funeral arrangements. What was the reasoning? Their objections usually follow along the lines of something like: “It’s too depressing to talk about.” “I’m too young to think about death.” “Just cremate me.” But when these conversations get put off — or worse, never occur — a family loses out on the important benefits these conversations bring. BENEFITS OF DISCUSSING FINAL WISHES

Death is — understandably — a hard topic to discuss. But we lose out on some truly amazing benefits when we put off our discussions about the end of our life. Here are ways in which having a conversation about one’s final wishes benefits us.

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U N D E R S TA N D O P T I O N S

We become aware of our options. When families approach end-of-life discussions early, they have more time to consider all the options. Funeral service continues to evolve, and there are so many different options to consider beyond just the traditional funeral. By having these conversations early, families have more time to make well-informed decisions without feeling pressured or rushed. By picking the personal details of how they want a life to be celebrated and remembered, families create a more meaningful experience for those involved. And a meaningful funeral is key to healthy healing and mourning after a loss. L E S S S T R E S S F O R LOV E D O N E S

Another benefit to talking about end-of-life arrangements is that it eases the stress on loved ones. Advanced planning means a family won’t be left with difficult funeral decisions, which is the last thing they need when facing grief and stress. It also can give a family peace of mind knowing the final arrangements are something that was meaningful and important for their loved one. F I N A N C I A L LY S M A R T

Planning early also is financially smart. Some choose to prepay, which alleviates the financial burden from their loved ones. But even if families don’t prepay, having the talk about end-of-life arrangements still helps them to better understand all the costs involved. Once they’ve decided on the type of funeral they or their loved one wants, the family can start saving toward it, or plan for alternative payment options such as using a financing program or paying through life insurance. Planning in advance also prevents loved ones from emotional overspending at the time of the funeral.

C R E AT E M E A N I N G F U L M E M O R I E S

Having the discussion about our end-of-life arrangements offers the opportunity for families to deepen their relationship with their loved ones while they still have the time. It gives these families the chance to share stories and pass them down to future generations.

discussions around a person’s life story and experiences, families get the opportunity to connect on a deeper level with each other. At the end of the day, sharing our story with those we love brings us closer together.  WA N T T O R E A D M O R E ?

Asking questions like “What was it like when you graduated from high school?” or “What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned in life?” helps families to connect and build these important memories. And by framing these

Download the rest of our free guide to share with your families. frazerconsultants.com/tmf-preplanning

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How to Use Pinterest to Help with Funeral Planning Pinterest is an excellent tool for planning weddings, parties, and other events, so why not funerals? Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re now entering a death-positive era â&#x20AC;&#x201D; people are more open to discussing death, and families recognize the importance of having these conversations. But the conversations are still not happening. Pinterest can help jumpstart the conversations, as well as help with grief and preplanning.

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PINTEREST AND GRIEF

Before we jump into funeral planning, let’s go over how Pinterest and grief can go together. Pinterest already has a ton of grief-related pins, from quotes and poems to memorial tattoo ideas. So why not take it a step further by creating a grief board? This way, all your grieving resources are in one organized place that’s easy to find. There even is the option to create secret boards only visible to you if you’d rather keep it private. You can pin grief quotes and poems, tips for coping with grief, grief books, and other grief resources. You also can pin memorialization ideas such as DIY crafts and other memorial ideas. This is a meaningful way to grieve the loss of a loved one while honoring their memory. PINTEREST AND FUNERAL PLANNING

Along with finding grief resources, you can find inspiration for a loved one’s funeral service. Like we mentioned above, you can make this board secret if you don’t want it to be public. You also can create group boards where multiple people can add pins and share ideas to a board. There’s also the option to “like” and comment on pins and send pins as private messages. This all could be extremely helpful if several family members are planning a funeral. To find funeral inspiration, you can explore different profiles, boards, pins, and topics. You also can follow Pinterest users’ profiles, such as Frazer Consultants’ profile, which has a variety of funeral personalization ideas such as funeral themes, stationery themes, quotes and poems, floral arrangements, stylized text for funeral stationery, keepsake ideas, and more. P R E P L A N N I N G : S TA R T T H E C O N V E R S AT I O N

In addition to planning a loved one’s funeral, Pinterest also is a unique way to preplan a funeral. It’s a fun and engaging way that families can start the preplanning conversation. Families can create a funeral board or multiple boards dedicated to their funeral wishes. They can even pin other things beyond the funeral, such as possible ash scattering locations or memorial bench locations. Then, they can share the ideas with their loved ones and have their thoughts organized in one spot. It’s another unique preplanning method that your funeral home can suggest to families who want to — but are struggling to — start the preplanning conversation.  T O R E A D M O R E , V I S I T:

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A Q U I C K H I S T O R Y O F D E AT H I N T H E W E S T

Our ancestors in 1800s America had a closer relationship with death, as it was much more common. Funerals were held at home and loved ones were buried in the family’s backyard. Somewhere along the way, death became a taboo topic — something we no longer like to talk about. We treat death as a challenge or as a form of defeat, as if we’re playing a video game and our death represents a failure. But death is something that’s natural and inevitable. Lawrence Samuel, the author and founder of Boomers 3.0, wrote in Psychology Today that the reason we tend to avoid talking about death is because it conflicts with our American values of youth, strength, and overcoming challenges. He also cites factors such as the World Wars, the advent of modern medicine, and the decline of religion as reasons we no longer talk about death openly. Samuel stated that “The notion of one day disappearing is contrary to many of our defining cultural values, with death and dying viewed as profoundly “un-American” experiences… Death and dying became almost unmentionable words

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over the course of the last century, topics not to be brought up in polite conversation.” It’s no secret many of us avoid discussing death. It’s an uncomfortable topic. But experts believe avoiding talking about death causes more harm than good. By not talking about death, many are unprepared when it comes time to dealing with death. Up to 80% of people don’t have their affairs in order when they die, per the Huffington Post. This puts extra stress on family and friends to sort everything out. We often are left with unresolved emotions of grief. By avoiding talking about death with a loved one, we deny the chance to talk about our thoughts, feelings, and even fears with each other. Our rituals leave us feeling incomplete and unsatisfied. One study on Baby Boomers found that 48% of families left feeling unsatisfied with their funeral service. Perhaps it has to do with waiting until the last minute to talk about death. If families took the time to talk about what they wanted in a memorial service while their loved ones are still here, they could share ideas on how to create a more meaningful service.

H O W I T ’ S S L O W LY C H A N G I N G

The good news is that many experts believe the days of death as a taboo topic are behind us. We are now entering a “death positive” era. Discussions about death are no longer avoided or discouraged. We’re starting to see more ways in which people are willing to open up and challenge our old traditions. D E AT H C A F É S

The idea of a death café is a simple idea. People get together to eat, drink, and talk about dying. The death café movement helps organize more than 4,000 death cafés across the world “to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives.” T H E D I N N E R PA R T Y A N D D E AT H OVER DINNER

Like a death café, the Dinner Party movement is designed to bring young people together to talk about death. The official Dinner Party focuses on those who are grieving and helps them create new traditions after a loss. The group’s

official statement is “To transform life after loss from an isolating experience into one marked by community support, candid conversation, and forward movement.” Death Over Dinner is another initiative with similar goals, though it focuses more on preplanning than the Dinner Party, which focuses more on grief recovery. SOCIAL MEDIA

Social media has made it easier than ever for people to connect and grieve with one another. People can access online support groups, find valuable grief resources, and use social media as a place to share a loved one’s story and memories with others. Even our obituaries have gone online and have become a social place for mourning. The Atlantic, in an article titled How Social Media is Changing the Way We Approach Death, wrote that social media has helped us become more comfortable with talking about death in our everyday life and also helps those with terminal illness share their experience and find support.

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D E AT H P O S I T I V E G R O U P S

AT T E N D I N G O U R O W N F U N E R A L S

The recent surge in death positivity can be linked to the growing influences of groups like The Order of the Good Death and the Death Salon. These groups are advocates for making death a bigger — and more accepted — aspect of life.

There are other organizations — such as the Hereafter Institute — that want to make us think about our mortality by attending our own “staged funerals.” These faux funerals are designed to inspire reflection and conversation about how we’d like to be remembered after we die.

The groups believe that we shouldn’t fear death and that we should embrace things like natural burials and families playing a more involved role in the funeral process. VIDEO GAMES

Video game artists like Gabby DaRienzo want to use video games to help us better understand and cope with our mortality. Her latest project, A Mortician’s Tale, puts the player in the role of the funeral director where players have to complete the everyday tasks of a funeral director as well as memorialize the life stories of the deceased characters in the game.

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It’s clear that we are on the verge of a shift in how death is viewed in America, and funeral directors can play a big role in facilitating that shift by encouraging conversations within the families in their own communities.  T O R E A D M O R E , V I S I T:

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T R I B U T E LOA N S

Offer the flexibility your families need with Tribute Loans. With financing, families can afford to give their loved ones the send-off they deserve. Offering financing directly on your website means one more service you offer families, and it also means your funeral home gets paid up front. C A L L T O R E Q U E S T A F R E E D E M O N S T R AT I O N O F T R I B U T E L O A N S T O D AY !

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A New Movement That Discusses Death at the Dinner Table A nonprofit is hoping to spur conversation about our own mortality, end-oflife care, and funeral planning. And itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all taking place at the dinner table.

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Death Over Dinner began in 2013. Since then, it’s encouraged more than 70,000 people to dine and discuss death and how they want to be remembered. As studies show, it’s a conversation worth having. According to the latest results of the Funeral and Memorial Information Council (FAMIC), a majority of Americans (89%) “feel a discussion about their end-of-life wishes would be meaningful.” Yet, the study also found that only 17% of people have actually made any endof-life arrangements. Death Over Dinner plans to change all that. According to their website, “How we want to die — represents the most important and costly conversation America isn’t having. We have gathered dozens of medical and wellness leaders to cast an unflinching eye at end of life, and we have created an uplifting interactive adventure that transforms this seemingly difficult conversation into one of deep engagement, insight and empowerment.” D E AT H O V E R D I N N E R : H O W I T B E G A N

Let’s go back to the very beginning. Death Over Dinner began with founder Michael Hebb during a train trip from Portland to Seattle. During the commute, he struck up a conversation with those next to him. Those strangers happened to be two doctors. Their conversation quickly turned toward the topic of end-of-life care. As Michael put it, it’s an important conversation that no one is having. Their discussion on the train inspired Michael to create a new movement that encourages meaningful discussions about the end of our lives. Within a few months, the Death Over Dinner campaign officially began. And shortly after, more than 30 countries signed up with the team’s campaign.

But why over dinner? The dinner table is a place we come together in comfort and to connect, making it a perfect place for those difficult conversations. H O W D E AT H O V E R D I N N E R W O R K S

The Death Over Dinner program is an easy-touse resource for anyone looking to have endof-life conversations with their loved ones. Just head over to the Death Over Dinner website and click “Get Started.” The website then takes you through a series of questions, such as “Who’s Coming to Dinner?” Then, it asks what goals you want to accomplish during the conversation, offers helpful resources to read or watch, and gives you steps to start planning your dinner and end-of-life conversation. SHARING STORIES

After the conversation, families can share their stories about the dinner. So far, hundreds of people from around the world have shared their insightful experiences about discussing death over dinner. For example, one experience included four generations of a family who gathered on a beach near the Pacific to share pizza, salad, and their views on end-of-life care. Another experience was in New York where hundreds of people gathered together at the John Ash Community Center in Olean, New York to share their bucket lists and some good food. Through this program, families, friends, and strangers are all coming together to discuss end-of-life wishes.  T O R E A D M O R E , V I S I T:

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Introducing Tribute Insurance Assignments Every familyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s situation is different. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s why we are dedicated to providing payment options that work best for each family, no matter what their financial situation is.

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Tribute Insurance Assignments is the newest part of our Tribute Pay platform — an all-in-one payment center for your funeral home that’s managed directly through the admin panel of your website. In addition to insurance assignment funding, Tribute Pay offers credit card processing, mobile payments, crowdfunding, and financing options for your families. Now that Tribute Insurance Assignments has gone live, we’re excited to show you why funeral homes love our latest Tribute Pay feature. HOW TRIBUTE INSURANCE ASSIGNMENTS WORKS

We wanted to make the process as easy as possible for you. The Tribute Insurance Assignment program is faster than working with a typical funding company. We are able verify a claim for funding typically within 24-48 hours. Once verified, we fund your funeral home immediately. No more waiting weeks or months to receive payments. Our program ensures your funeral home has the funds you need within days. Our Tribute Insurance agents take care of the paperwork, too, so you can focus on doing what matters — helping families. THE PROCESS

Completing a funding request is simple and done directly on your website. Here’s how it works. Within our Tribute Pay platform, you’ll see an Assignment Funding tab. Once you click on that, you’ll see our intuitively-designed Tribute Insurance Assignment dashboard. From this dashboard, you’ll have access to everything you need to manage your life insurance assignments. From here, you can submit new claims, search for past claims, and keep track of the progress of recently submitted claims. Submitting a new claim only takes a few minutes. All you have to do is fill out an online funding request. You can include as much or as little information as you have available regarding the deceased, the insurance policy, and the beneficiary. Next, all you have to do is have any beneficiaries complete an Assignment of Policy Proceeds to Tribute Insurance Assignments. Both the beneficiary and a staff member of your funeral home should sign this reassignment form. You then simply upload that form to the Tribute Insurance Assignment dashboard on your website, or fax it to us.

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This is where our experienced team of Tribute Insurance Assignment agents come in. Our staff has more than 63 years of combined experience working with life insurance policies. They know the rules and requirements of more than 300 insurance companies, which is why weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re able to process your familiesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; claims so accurately and efficiently.

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Typically, after you have sent out the initial information to us, our agents will verify a policy in as little as 24 hours. We then follow up with a confirmation through fax or email, whichever you prefer. This confirmation notice will inform you how much we were able to fund, along with any follow-up documents we need for the insurance company.

After that, all you have to do is mail us the original insurance assignment (or assignments, if there was more than one life insurance policy), and a death certificate. That’s it. Like we said, we’ll handle it from here, so you can get back to helping families honor their loved ones. Our agents will finish any remaining paperwork, claim forms, affidavits, and anything else the

insurance company needs. No more sacrificing your much-needed time filling out insurancerelated paperwork! And because of our agents’ comprehensive knowledge of the insurance companies out there and the requirements for each one, we’re able to verify and process claims nearly twice as fast as other insurance assignment companies.

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TRACKING A CLAIM

ADDITIONAL BENEFITS

Our Tribute Insurance Assignment dashboard was designed to keep you in the loop at all times. The dashboard lets you see the status of all the claims your funeral home has submitted.

Not only is our Tribute Insurance Assignment program fast and accurate, it also provides several other important benefits.

You’ll be able to see which claims are currently processing, which claims are incomplete or waiting on a document, claims that are waiting on the insurance company to process, and claims that have been funded or withdrawn. For the claims that fall under the incomplete or missing document status, the dashboard panel informs you of the exact reason why a claim is incomplete or the specific document that is missing. Simply upload the missing information into the dashboard panel under the forms section — or fax it in — and our agents will take it from there. Our claim tracker ensures you’re informed of each claim’s progress every step of the way. And our experienced agents also are available to answer any questions you may have during any stage of the process.

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For instance, there is no limit on the amount families can request for immediate funding. This gives them greater peace of mind, and more options for paying funeral costs, medical bills, and any other expenses that arise after a loss. And by using the Tribute Pay platform, accounting for your funeral home gets so much easier. By having all your payment options in one place, you’ll get payment information on Tribute Insurance Assignments, Tribute Loans, Tribute Crowdfunding, and other Tribute Pay features in one easy-to-read statement, directly on your Tribute Pay dashboard.  WA N T T O L E A R N M O R E ?

Call us at 1-844-993-3440 or download our first-time user guide at the link below. frazerconsultants.com/tmf-tia

TRIBUTE INSURANCE ASSIGNMENTS

Frequently Asked Questions Questions? We’re here to help. Here are common questions we’ve been asked regarding Tribute Insurance Assignments. If you don’t see the answer you need, give our Tribute Insurance Assignment agents a call at 1-844-993-3440.

How much does this service cost my funeral home? Tribute Insurance Assignments doesn’t cost anything for your funeral home to use. The beneficiary pays the processing fee for the convenience of expediting a portion of their life insurance payout.

What do you need from our firm to verify a policy? To verify a policy, we typically only need the deceased’s name, date of birth, date of death, social security number, the insurance company name, policy number, and an assignment signed by the beneficiary. But in many cases, we can verify a policy with as little as the deceased’s name, insurance company name, and policy number.

Do you need a death certificate? Though we don’t need a death certificate to verify a policy, we will need you to mail us a death certificate for each insurance company that we fund a policy for so that we can continue processing the rest of the claim for the family.

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How much paperwork is required? We complete ALL claim forms and affidavits required by the insurance company on behalf of the beneficiary and your funeral home. What kinds of assignable claims do you accept? We accept any type of assignable claim; even pending, coroner, homicide, and suicide cases.

What happens to the rest of the money owed to the family from the insurance policy? After we fund the assignment to your funeral home, we continue to work with the insurance company on behalf of the beneficiary to finish their claim.

After the assignment, how long does it take before a beneficiary receives the remaining funds from a policy? The insurance company will issue a check to the beneficiary after the claim is fully processed, which typically takes 30-90 days but can take longer.

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Discussing Death: How This Event is Breaking the Taboo Despite some recent strides, death is still a difficult topic for Americans to talk about. A study conducted by the Funeral and Memorial Information Council (FAMIC) found that while 89% of people believe that “a discussion about their end-of-life wishes would be meaningful,” only 17% have done so. The study reflects what the NFDA recently found, too. They found that around 62% of families thought that “it was very important to communicate their funeral plans and wishes to family members prior to their own death.” But only 21.4% have done so. One of the reasons the NFDA listed was that people simply haven’t thought much about their funeral wishes. These studies seemingly reflect our public opinion on death that, despite its inevitability, it’s something we avoid talking about. But there are some movements trying to change that. One such event is the Before I Die Festival, which holds annual events that encourage an open discussion about death. B E F O R E I D I E — A F E S T I VA L F O R T H E L I V I N G A B O U T DY I N G

The Before I Die Festival is a six-day festival that’s held in cities across the U.S. and the U.K. The original festival began back in 2013 in Wales. It has since spread to American cities like Indianapolis, Louisville, and Albuquerque. According to a press release from the Before I Die Albuquerque festival, the events are “part of a growing social movement to foster reflection about how we as individuals and as a society manage death and dying… Even though

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humans have a 100% mortality rate, less than 30% of us make any end-of-life plans. What will get adults to discuss and plan for their eventual demise? Put some “fun” in funeral planning to get people to discuss this serious topic.” These festivals include a variety of activities that are designed for promoting positive discussions on something we will all have to face at some point. For example, some events include tours of cemeteries, death café discussions, Q&A with local funeral directors, and panel discussions on medical and end-oflife issues. The festival coordinator for the Albuquerque festival and award-winning author Gail Rubin said that “By providing space and opportunities to openly discuss end-of-life issues, we can improve the percentage of those who plan ahead and take actions to address our mortality.” B R I N G T H E D I S C U S S I O N TO YO U R C O M M U N I T Y

If your funeral home is looking for inspiration to start the conversation, you can host an event where families create and share their bucket lists; encourage families to create an In Case of Emergency (ICE) book; and share Have the Talk of a Lifetime conversation cards with families.

When families are ready to start preplanning, make sure your funeral homeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s arrangement options are all laid out on the table. From your burial or cremation arrangements to memorialization options, provide your families with this information so they can make the best decision for themselves.

Tribute Pay, families can choose from several alternative payment methods, such as Tribute Insurance Assignments. Within 24 to 48 hours, we verify the claim for funding and your funeral home gets paid. Talk about a win-win for your families and your funeral home. ď&#x20AC;ź T O R E A D M O R E , V I S I T:

Preplanning and prepaying often go hand in hand, so make sure your families know their payment options as well. For example, with

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How to Bring Up Payments During the Arrangement Conference Being a funeral director isn’t an easy job. While planning a celebration of life in honor of a family’s loved one, you also are trying to console the family. Many people may still be in a state of shock and denial about their loved one’s death. Or, perhaps, they’re preplanning their own funeral and still haven’t fully accepted their own eventual death. Whatever the circumstance, you need to go about funeral planning in a delicate manner. Though delicacy is important, there’s certain information you need from them that may not be easy to ask for, like their method of funeral payment. This can be an awkward topic to bring up, as you don’t want to offend the family or sound too demanding. But there are ways to naturally bring up funeral payments during the funeral planning meeting, so families stay informed about all the options available to them.

L AY E V E R Y T H I N G O U T O N T H E TA B L E

You should tell your families everything that you have to offer. Don’t wait for them to ask about funeral payment options, as they may be unaware there are other options available or too embarrassed to ask. Instead of just asking how they want to pay for the funeral, try bringing it up in an informative and natural way during the arrangement conference, before they ever ask.

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For example, you can say something along the lines of “We do provide several funeral payment options, including financing, life insurance assignments, crowdfunding, and credit card payments. I can help you find one that best suits your family’s needs.” This would also be a good time to literally lay everything out on the table — any brochures, informational packets, or other useful items you have regarding payments. If there is still enough time, let the family know that they can take these materials home and decide what’s best for them on their own time. C R E AT E A N I N F O R M AT I O N A L G U I D E

For your guide, you can include the information in your General Price List or create a separate brochure or pamphlet specifically for funeral payment options. It helps your funeral home keep the information organized, while also giving your families a valuable resource. Then, they may recommend your funeral home to their family and friends and show them the guide. You can discuss the basics of each payment method in your guide, and then tell them more details about the ones that they’re most interested in. You also can provide some estimated monthly payments for the financing

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options. They’ll appreciate your helpfulness and honesty, which helps you build trusting relationships with your client families. F U N E R A L PAY M E N T O P T I O N S

Make sure your funeral home’s staff is trained on the ins and outs of your funeral payment options as well. That way, you’re sure families are being told accurate information about your payment options. You also should have an easy application process for your payment options, like with Tribute Pay — an all-in-one payment platform by Frazer Consultants. With Tribute Pay, families can use credit cards, mobile payments, crowdfunding campaigns, financing programs, and insurance assignments to pay for funerals. Tribute Insurance Assignments is the latest addition to Tribute Pay. The claim approval process is fast and easy, as the claim is verified and funded within 24 to 48 hours. This way, families can plan the funeral that their loved one deserves without having to worry about the funeral payments.  T O R E A D M O R E , V I S I T:

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A F R A Z E R C O N S U LTA N T S T E S T I M O N I A L

Tribute Insurance Assignments is an overall simpler process. It’s a lot less work for our funeral home and our families. There is less paperwork for our staff and quicker claim processing and funding for families. We’re very appreciative of the Frazer insurance team’s hard work. They stay on top of everything and do everything they can to make the life insurance claims process easier for everyone.

KEVIN MARSH MADISON CHAPEL FUNERAL HOME MADISON, ALABAMA

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Despite the benefits, many people don’t preplan their funeral. For some, it’s because of a lack of knowledge of the costs or decisions involved in planning. For others, it’s an uncomfortable topic and they just don’t want to think that far ahead. That’s why funeral homes should find unique ways to start the conversation and bring attention to the benefits of preplanning. S O C I A L M E D I A O R M A R K E T I N G C A M PA I G N

Start with a specific marketing campaign to raise awareness. Whether it’s a social media or traditional marketing campaign (or both) is up to you. We recommend a “persuade, don’t pitch” approach. Show your expertise, establish an emotional connection, and show concrete evidence about the benefits of preplanning. HOST A LUNCHEON

Offering a free luncheon along with a seminar is another option to get people to stop by and

hear your message. You can create a short PowerPoint or video about the benefits of preplanning and play it during the lunch. When the lunch is over, ask anyone interested to leave a name, number, and email or to stop by your funeral home to learn more. TA L K O F A L I F E T I M E

The Funeral and Memorial Information Council (FAMIC) has done great work advocating for funeral preplanning. FAMIC’s Have the Talk of a Lifetime campaign has been a successful way to get families to open up about a normally difficult topic. The Have the Talk of a Lifetime campaign offers great resources for funeral directors to help ease into the conversation with families. One of our favorites is the Have the Talk of a Lifetime conversation cards. It’s a deck of cards that helps spark conversation about funeral plans and encourage conversation about memories,

events, people, and other important details of a person’s life. The cards make a great gift after meeting with your families about preneed arrangements, or a great community giveaway. MAKE PREPLANNING SIMPLE

The final piece of advice is to make it simple for families. Keep resources available in your lobby and on your website so families can find the information they need. Make sure they also have the tools they need to start planning, such as an online planning form that can jumpstart the preplanning process. All Frazer-powered websites come with an online funeral planner to help families start the preplanning process directly from your funeral home’s website.  T O R E A D M O R E , V I S I T:

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