F R A Z E R S O C I A L M E D I A PA C K A G E S
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ISSUE 11
Table of Contents
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The Importance of a Balanced Work and Home Life Maintaining a healthy balance between work and home life is much easier if you follow this advice!
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Ways Funeral Directors Can Reduce Their Stress Avoid the stress that comes with working at a funeral home by following these easy steps.
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7 Top StressRelieving Apps for Funeral Directors These stress-relieving apps will leave you feeling calm, cool, and collected.
The Importance of Finding a Counselor After a Loss Talking to a counselor after a loss has many benefits — the main one is improvement of your overall wellbeing.
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F E AT U R E A R T I C L E
Self-Care for the Funeral Director: How to Avoid Compassion Fatigue and Burnout Self-care has gained more attention recently. By taking care of yourself first, you can continue to serve others.
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Tips for Preventing Occupational Burnout Every job comes with stressors, but for funeral directors, they’re more intense. Learn how to beat occupational burnout.
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7 Simple Steps to Staying Organized and Successful By staying organized, you can better serve your client families and feel at ease.
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Death Cleaning — Tips for Tidying and Decluttering Your Home
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Did you know you can stay active even when you’re stuck at your desk all day? These “deskercises” will get you started!
Tidying up is all the rage and for good reason. Learn why death cleaning is good for your family.
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F E AT U R E A R T I C L E
Self-Care Starter Guide These fill-in-theblank charts will help you assess the selfcare you’re currently practicing and what you need to improve on.
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Employee Features Meet two members of our Frazer Family — Heather and Renée — and see what they have to say about how your funeral home can save time.
Juggling Family and a Funeral Home: Tips for Family-Owned Funeral Homes Working alongside your family members is rewarding but requires a bit of work-life balance and compromise.
Staying Active: Deskercises for Funeral Directors
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Funeral Home Fitness: How to Stay Active Balancing a nutritious diet and a regular workout regimen will leave you happier and healthier!
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Nutrition for Funeral Directors: A Guide to Healthy Eating Maintaining a healthy diet doesn’t have to be a chore. Learn how your diet can lower stress and give you a burst of energy.
Letter from the Editor Dear readers, Welcome to The Meaningful Funeral magazine, an exclusive publication by Frazer Consultants. Our goal with this magazine is to be a resource for your funeral home and to help you learn new skills, keep up with funeral trends, and serve your current client families in more meaningful ways. This issue is all about self-care and ways funeral directors can practice it every day. Inside you’ll learn ways to cope with stress, beat occupational burnout, and live a happier and healthier life. Funeral directors have one of the most difficult jobs out there. Since most of your job revolves around helping others, it can be easy to forget about your own wellbeing. This can become physically and emotionally draining, which is why we thought it was important to focus on self-care in this issue. We want to share techniques that you can use when you’re reaching your limit. Want to read The Meaningful Funeral on the go? Every issue is available for free on our website, all you have to do is visit frazerconsultants.com/meaningful and click “Resources” at the top of the page. I hope you enjoy reading this issue of The Meaningful Funeral, and I look forward to hearing your feedback. If you have any suggestions for future magazine content, we would love to hear them — just email us at marketing@frazerconsultants.com. And if you really love our content, visit frazerconsultants.com/meaningful and sign up for our newsletter to have fresh content and funeral news delivered to your inbox every week!
M AT T F R A Z E R P R E S I D E N T, F R A Z E R C O N S U LTA N T S
M I N D F U L B R E AT H I N G
Take a Moment If things get a little hectic at your funeral home, whether it be planning multiple funerals or organizing your next event, funeral directors can use this four-step exercise to relieve some stress during their day. By taking the time for this oneminute exercise, you’ll feel more at ease and more easily tackle your daily tasks. Step One: Slowly breathe in and out, taking about three seconds each time you inhale and exhale. Step Two: Inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Step Three: Focus on your breathing, and let all other thoughts leave your mind. Step Four: Visualize your breath entering and exiting your body. Repeat this quick and simple exercise as many times as needed to decompress during your day.
The Importance of a Balanced Work and Home Life Though many people have the misconception that funeral directors are cold, unfeeling people who find joy in and profit from grief, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Funeral directors are some of the most selfless people that exist. Funeral directors choose to go into one of the most demanding professions out there because they have a desire to help people remember their loved ones and bring healing to unimaginable loss. Funeral directors sometimes dedicate their nights, weekends, and holidays to be there for a family in their time of need. Death doesn’t choose the most convenient time, so funeral directors must be ready to help at 3 a.m., on Christmas day, or on Sunday morning. That’s just how things are. Unfortunately, though, this constant selflessness can catch up to funeral directors, which can lead to strained relationships and occupational burnout. So, what can you do to make sure you are taking enough personal time? S E T A S I D E T I M E O F F F O R P E R S O N A L LY I M P O R TA N T D AT E S
Birthdays, anniversaries, and other milestones in your life are specific to you, which means it’s unlikely that your coworkers will need the same days off. Take this opportunity to spend time with the people you love or just to relax and enjoy a day alone to recharge.
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C O O R D I N AT E H O L I D AY S W I T H Y O U R F E L L O W FUNERAL DIRECTORS
If you’re lucky enough to work with other talented professionals, sit down with them to discuss a plan for holidays. Perhaps this year you take Christmas Day and they take Christmas Eve. Maybe next year you alternate those dates. If one person enjoys one particular holiday while you enjoy another, try giving them that day off in exchange for the holiday you want. Communication here is key. S U R RO U N D YO U R S E L F W I T H P E O P L E W H O S U P P O RT YO U
There is a very good chance that, despite your best efforts, you will still miss birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and other special occasions. That is just the nature of working in the funeral profession. In fact, some in the profession even encourage newcomers to fully understand the sacrifices funeral directors make before they commit to it, because the reality is very different from what many believe. It’s because of this that it’s important that those close to you understand the demands you will face, and the reasons why you’ve chosen this path in life.
Having people around you who support your passion and are understanding when you miss a dinner or party here and there can make all the difference. The last thing you need is to feel guilty for doing what you love. U S E M O D E R N S O F T WA R E T O S AV E T I M E
You know more than anyone else that a vast majority of what a funeral director does is paperwork and event planning. Some have even
referred to the profession as being kind of like a wedding planner with a very short time frame. By using modern software to help you organize and get your work done, you can save yourself a lot of time that you can instead spend pampering yourself or spending time with loved ones.  T O R E A D M O R E , V I S I T:
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Ways Funeral Directors Can Reduce Their Stress Being a funeral director is a stressful job. You’re on call 24/7 and help families during the most emotional times in their lives. Although it’s all rewarding in the end, it can take a toll on your mental health. Since we’re all about self-care this issue, we want to share some ways funeral directors can reduce their stress, which will improve their overall wellbeing.
Whatever activity you choose, laughing with those you love is sure to help you feel less stressed out. TRY SOMETHING NEW
TA K E T I M E T O U N P L U G
Everyone needs some time to unplug from the world for a bit, whether that’s by taking a short walk on your favorite path or spending time with loved ones. This means that you take in your surroundings and avoid checking your phone, social media accounts, and other notifications. You can still have your phone’s sound on in case an emergency arises, but avoid actively checking it, because this is a time for you to just enjoy where you’re at. D O W H AT M A K E S Y O U H A P P Y
Take time to do what brings you joy. It could be reading, listening to music, watching a movie, or another hobby. Taking time for these things that make us happy helps us feel less stressed and remember to appreciate the little things in life. D O W H AT M A K E S Y O U L A U G H
Laughter is one of the best medicines! Gather your funeral home’s staff for a team bonding night at a comedy show. Or, have a movie night watching everyone’s favorite comedy movies.
Do you have a bucket list? Pick something to cross off your list! Whether it’s trying a new food or taking a local art class, have fun trying something new. Working toward and accomplishing these goals can help lower your stress levels. TA K E C A R E O F Y O U R S E L F
Most importantly, taking care of yourself should always come first. You can’t accomplish any of your other goals without doing this. So, give yourself the time you deserve to stay mentally and physically healthy. You can join a local gym or take a run around your town. Or, join a yoga class or practice meditation. TRY STRESS-RELIEVING APPS
It seems like there’s an app for everything now, even for relieving stress! Having an app on your phone makes it convenient for you to set aside some time for it each day. Our next article shares some stress-relieving apps you can download. T O R E A D M O R E , V I S I T:
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7 Top Stress-Relieving Apps for Funeral Directors Everyone is susceptible to stress. However, some people may be more prone to it depending on their day-to-day schedule — like funeral directors. Funeral directors are constantly putting the needs of their families first. Whether it’s funeral planning, comforting a grieving family, or organizing a community event, you’re constantly busy. And as you know, death calls don’t come during the standard 9-to-5 workday. So, your unpredictable schedule also can add to the stress of the day. Even though your schedule is busy and unpredictable, it’s still important to schedule some time for self-care. Remember, you can’t take care of your families unless you take care of yourself. Practicing self-care can relieve stress and prevent burnout, compassion fatigue, and even vicarious trauma. One easy and convenient way to do this is by downloading a stressrelieving app. There are apps for tracking your stress levels, doing breathing exercises, practicing yoga, and many other activities. You can find the best fit for you. Here are some of the top de-stressing apps that you can download on your smartphone or tablet. B R E AT H E 2 R E L A X
Through various breathing exercises, this free app helps you relieve stress, relax, reduce anxiety, boost energy, and improve your overall mood and health. It includes step-by-step guides for breathing techniques, videos to help you through breathing exercises, and an adjustable stress level scale.
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HAPPIFY
This free app helps you create new habits to improve your overall happiness. Through simple activities and games, you can learn ways to relieve stress and anxiety and track your overall happiness. H E A D S PA C E
Learn how to meditate and relieve stress with this free, easy-to-use app. Through hundreds of themed sessions — including short sessions for those who are busy — meditation can become a regular part of your routine and help you relax. PA C I F I C A
Relieve stress and relax through the various features available within this free app. Through relaxation techniques, a mood and health tracker, goal setting, and other activities, you can find ways to de-stress and relax after a long day. P O C K E T YO G A
With this app (that costs $2.99), you can learn how to de-stress through yoga. There are 27 different sessions to choose from that vary in difficulty and time length so you can start at your comfort level and work your way up. SMILING MIND
Through meditation activities, this free app helps improve mindfulness and relieve stress. The guided mindfulness meditation programs are designed to help people cope with their daily pressures, stressors, and challenges. THE MINDFULNESS APP
This free app improves your overall mental health and wellbeing through meditation. With guided meditation activities for different skill levels and time lengths, you can learn meditation techniques at your own pace and track your progress. T O R E A D M O R E , V I S I T:
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RESPONSIVE OBITUARIES
Honoring lives on every device. Making our social Tribute Walls more mobile-focused allows families to honor their loved ones no matter where they are — with photos, messages, virtual candles, flower orders, crowdfunding donations, and so much more. C A L L T O D AY F O R M O R E I N F O R M AT I O N !
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Self-Care for the Funeral Director: How to Avoid Compassion Fatigue and Burnout Practicing self-care is important for today’s funeral directors, yet it’s something that isn’t talked about much.
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Funeral directors face an enormous amount of stress on a day-to-day basis. And if they ignore their own mental health, it may lead to developing compassion fatigue, burnout, or even vicarious trauma. TA K I N G C A R E O F O T H E R S S TA R T S B Y TA K I N G C A R E O F YO U R S E L F
Funeral service professionals give so much of themselves to their calling. They’re basically at work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, offering crisis and grief counseling services, business management, financial advising, funeral service planning, and so much more.
Eventually, operating on such a high level of intensity can take its toll — especially if you’re not careful. That’s why self-care is so critical, especially for today’s funeral directors, who are busier than ever. According to the University of Buffalo, selfcare can be defined as “activities and practices that we can engage in on a regular basis to reduce stress and maintain and enhance our short- and longer-term health and well-being. Self-care is necessary for your effectiveness and success in honoring your professional and personal commitments.”
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By practicing self-care, funeral directors are better equipped to: • Identify and manage challenges and stress that they’ll face throughout their career. • Recognize the stress and challenges their colleagues or staff are facing. • Identify when they are close to their breaking point and what they need to do personally to step back and reset. • Achieve more balance in their life. Practicing self-care allows them to step back and focus on certain areas and relationships in their life that may need more attention. • Foster and enrich their relationships with family, friends, and coworkers. • Take care of their personal health across a full spectrum. That means physical, mental, and spiritual health. Overall, self-care isn’t about simply managing stress. It’s about providing yourself with the tools and techniques for a more meaningful and fulfilling life — both professionally and personally. W H O I S AT R I S K ?
Compassion fatigue and occupational burnout affect some people more than others. First, it’s important to note that all funeral directors — and anyone else who performs a caregiving role at a high level of intensity — is at risk for burnout and compassion fatigue. On top of that, there are several factors that come into play that make some people more susceptible than others.
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Let’s talk about a few of these factors: • People with less experience (and those who are younger) tend to be more at risk. They simply don’t have the strategies or experience needed to cope with the stress of their job in healthy ways. • Funeral directors who have more intimate relationships with those they serve puts them more at risk. Having to plan the funeral services for close friends and families isn’t an easy task and it certainly takes a toll on a funeral director’s emotional wellbeing. • Funeral directors who work at a funeral home in a rural community. This ties in with the bullet point above. Because small communities tend to be close-knit, where everybody knows everybody, chances are higher that funeral directors will have to work with clients who are close to them. • Smaller funeral homes with less access to resources or staff to help with counseling and share the burden. • If you’ve suffered a recent loss of your own, it also puts you at risk. • Having an introverted personality makes it harder to express yourself to others. And without a healthy outlet, your risk for burnout and compassion fatigue increases. Of course, these are just a few of the common factors. There are many reasons for why a person might be more prone to or at risk of developing compassion fatigue or burnout. Let’s dive into what each of these conditions mean so we can better understand them.
B U R N O U T, C O M PA S S I O N FAT I G U E , A N D V I C A R I O U S T R A U M A : W H AT A R E T H E Y ?
Burnout Burnout happens to the best of us. It is the result of prolonged job stress. The Mayo Clinic defines it as “a state of physical, emotional or mental exhaustion…” Burnout can happen to anyone, in any type of job environment. It’s typically caused by the following factors: • Lack of control in your job environment, like with scheduling and workload. • Unclear job expectations. • Extremes in daily activity and workload. • Work-life imbalance. • Lack of social support outside of work.
And though burnout can happen to anyone, you’re more at risk when your profession involves taking care of others. Compassion Fatigue Compassion fatigue is all too common in the funeral profession. Compassion fatigue consists of the profound emotional and physical exhaustion that caregivers, such as funeral directors, experience. Charles Figley is a professor in the fields of psychology, family therapy, family studies, social work, and mental health. In his studies, he summed up compassion fatigue perfectly. He said, “We have not been directly exposed to the trauma scene, but we hear the story told with such intensity, or we hear similar stories so often, or we have the gift and curse of extreme empathy and we suffer. We feel the feelings of our clients. We experience their fears.
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We dream their dreams. Eventually, we lose a certain spark of optimism, humor, and hope. We tire. We aren’t sick, but we aren’t ourselves.” So how does it differ from burnout? It’s hard to tell, as both burnout and compassion fatigue share similar symptoms. But one clear difference, according to the American Institute of Stress, is that “compassion fatigue has a more rapid onset while burnout emerges over time.” What are the causes of compassion fatigue? We’ve mentioned the stress of being in a caregiver role, but other factors include: • Continually placing the needs of others before your own. • Lack of healthy coping skills. • Unresolved trauma. • Belief that self-care is optional or unimportant. Vicarious Trauma Vicarious trauma is a profound shift in one’s world view. Vicarious trauma can be a more serious type of compassion fatigue. As the famous compassion fatigue specialist Françoise Mathieu puts it, vicarious trauma is when funeral directors “notice that their fundamental beliefs about the world are altered and possibly damaged by being repeatedly exposed to traumatic material.” It essentially alters your personality and permanently changes how you view the world. These changes in our personality and worldview then have a profound impact in our daily relationships with friends, families, and coworkers — often straining the very relationships we hold most dear. Like compassion fatigue and burnout, vicarious trauma affects us on multiple levels. Let’s explore the signs and symptoms of all three.
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SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS
Vicarious trauma, compassion fatigue, and burnout share similar symptoms. Let’s look at the ways they affect our physical, behavioral, and psychological health. Physical • Constant exhaustion or fatigue • Insomnia or trouble sleeping • Stress headaches or migraines • Somatization (when your stress and emotions cause physical symptoms and illness) • Rapid heartbeat or chest pains • High blood pressure • Digestive issues • Constant bodily tension, aches, and pain Behavioral • Increase in absenteeism from work • Distancing yourself from loved ones • Loss of passion/interest in hobbies • Low motivation • Increase in alcohol or drug use • Avoidance of certain client families, like not answering their calls or passing them off to your colleagues • Trouble focusing • Increase in risk of compromised care for your client families • Trouble with decision making
Psychological • Depression • Anxiety • Guilt • Loss of hope • Constant sadness
Note: These are general symptoms and are not meant as a substitute for professional medical advice or counseling. As you can see, there are a lot of ways in which a funeral professional can be affected. It’s important to listen to what your body is telling you. By recognizing the signs and symptoms, you’ll be in a better position to help yourself and others.
• Dread of going to work • Cynicism • Problems with intimacy • Suicidal thoughts • Reduced empathy • Low patience • Irritability • Hypochondria • Self-doubt
WA N T T O R E A D M O R E ?
Download the rest of our free guide about how your funeral home’s staff can practice selfcare to avoid compassion fatigue and burnout.
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• Feeling helpless regarding being able to care for families • Hypersensitivity • Loss or altered sense of reality
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The Importance of Finding a Counselor After a Loss Counselors can help us through all the tough situations we face in our lives — whether they have to do with our home life, work life, or relationships. They also can help us through the process of grieving the death of a loved one. To help you and the families you serve, we’re highlighting the importance of talking to a grief counselor after a loss.
they are feeling without hurting feelings or feeling judged. T H E Y S H A R E C O P I N G S T R AT E G I E S
T H E Y H E L P Y O U N AV I G AT E Y O U R F E E L I N G S
When someone loses a loved one, they feel a wide range of complicated emotions. A grief counselor is trained in helping you explore and process all of those different feelings. Keeping heavy feelings on the inside makes it difficult to overcome them, which is why talking to a professional is so helpful. THEY PROVIDE AN OUTSIDE VIEW
It’s very unlikely that when someone loses a loved one, they are the only person grieving the death. They often have friends and family members who are also in emotional pain. This can make it difficult to openly grieve since they are also managing the emotions of others. With a grief counselor, they can openly express what
Oftentimes, grief can put the mind in a fog and make it difficult to perform everyday activities. Counselors are there to guide their clients and help them identify individualized coping strategies. What works for one person will not necessarily work for another. THEY OFFER A NEW PERSPECTIVE
Grief tends to make people ruminate on the same thoughts over and over without a solution. This can become distressing and exhausting. Counselors can provide new insights or other ways to view a situation. This can lead to healing and peace of mind. T O R E A D M O R E , V I S I T:
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Tips for Preventing Occupational Burnout The role of a funeral director isn’t an easy one. When most of your job revolves around helping others, it can be easy to forget to help yourself. Don’t let the stress of the job burn you out.
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CNBC listed event coordinator as the sixth most stressful job this year, and funeral directors often draw comparisons to event coordinators. Funeral directors essentially are event coordinators with a handful of other tasks and half the time to plan. On top of everything else, a funeral director is a pillar of support to grieving families. To say the job is stressful would be an understatement. Stress can take a real toll over time. Not only does it affect your productivity, it will eventually cause physical ailments. The Atlantic reported that job stress can lead to hypertension and cardiovascular problems. The American Psychological Association found that “burnout — defined as persistent emotional exhaustion, physical fatigue and cognitive weariness — may negatively affect workers’ physical health more than previously believed.” Let’s look at some tips you can use to counter the stress of work. P H Y S I C A L H E A LT H
This is probably the first area to shows signs of stress. The good news: it’s also the easiest to remedy. Questions to ask yourself: How are you sleeping at night? Are you always feeling sluggish or tired? Do you have any tension in your body? Do you feel achy? Make sure to devote time to physical activities whenever possible. A little physical activity can boost your mood. Joining a gym, signing up for a fitness class, finding a partner to exercise with, going for a run or walk each day, and taking the stairs are all ways to improve your physical health. Anything that gets you up and moving for 30 minutes a day can help reduce the effects of stress on your body. Getting a massage, maintaining a healthy diet, making homecooked meals, starting a personal garden, or joining a community garden are even more ways to live a healthier lifestyle. Try to get a daily routine of healthy activities going. Incorporate new activities into your life.
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M E N TA L H E A LT H
It’s a little easier to focus on physical health. Keeping an eye on your own mental wellbeing is trickier, but just as important. Job stress can lead to depression, anxiety, and poor decision making. Questions to ask yourself: Are you constantly forgetting things? Do you feel like your thoughts aren’t clear? How are your relationships with your friends and family? How do you process and deal with your emotions? How often are you taking time off? How many hours do you work a week? Try keeping a journal of your thoughts. Studies have shown that writing improves your emotional health. It can help you identify and express your emotions in a healthy way. Here are a few ways you can improve your mental health: Take a “me” day to reset yourself. Get outside and into the sun. Get a pet or a plant. Make room for leisure time. Set time aside to meet with friends and family. Volunteer. Write a weekly list of what you are thankful for. Try learning a new activity. At the end of the day, you’re the one that knows you best. Make sure to stop and treat yourself. T O R E A D M O R E , V I S I T:
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TRIBUTE VIDEOS
Easy-to-create cinematic-quality memorial videos for familes. With nearly 200 intros and endings, almost 400 licensed songs, 850 high-quality stock video clips, and 500 themes for DVD packaging, you can create a meaningful, completely personalized video for families in minutes. C O N TA C T U S F O R M O R E I N F O , O R V I S I T O U R W E B S I T E TO D O W N LOA D T R I B U T E C E N T E R F O R F R E E !
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7 Simple Steps to Staying Organized and Successful The life of a funeral director is a busy one. Each day looks different than the other, and there’s always something on their to-do list. That’s why they need to stay organized to be successful every day. For a funeral director, it would probably be hard to describe what they do on a day-to-day basis. Some days are spent meeting with families and conducting arrangements, others are spent heading out to answer call after call. Even on so-called “slow” days, there are clerical tasks, cleaning, and other miscellaneous tasks to stay on top of. It’s easy to get lost in the chaos, so here are some tips on how to stay focused.
smartphone or the timeless yellow legal pad; either way, good note-taking habits are a great way to make sure nothing gets missed. 03 — ASK FOR HELP
It’s important to recognize we are human, and it’s okay to ask for help. Investing in and training the right people can take away a lot of the small clerical tasks that eat up your time. It also will help open up time for you to focus on the bigger things.
0 1 — C R E AT E C H E C K L I S T S
Creating a checklist is a great way to stay organized throughout the week, especially when there is a high degree of variability in day-to-day tasks. If something pressing comes up, a checklist will always be something you can come back to and get right back on track.
04 — THINK ABOUT THE BIG PICTURE
0 2 — TA K E N O T E S
05 — PRIORITIZE
Much like keeping a checklist, taking notes is a great way to make sure every little detail is accounted for. It’s especially helpful when talking with families about planning funeral arrangements. You can easily take them on your
Sort your work by what can be done later and what needs to get done right now. Sorting tasks by priority is a great way to ensure you are optimizing your work. And make sure you keep in mind the big picture when you prioritize —
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The week is probably hard to plot out on paper because plans always change. But it is a good idea to have a general sense of direction. Set your long-term goals and think about how each task works toward them.
is what you’re prioritizing really making an impact on your long-term goals, or can it be reconsidered as low priority? 06 — BE FLEXIBLE
As important as it is to have a plan laid out, it’s equally important to stay flexible. Things come up — perhaps you have more funeral services than usual or a last-minute request from a family you serve. That’s what checklists are for. Don’t be afraid to rearrange what needs to be done!
0 7 — TA K E A D VA N TA G E O F T E C H N O L O G Y
We live in a wonderful time for technology. Technology is rapidly evolving around us and has made many aspects of life easier. Don’t be afraid of new technology; instead, embrace the ways it can keep you organized. T O R E A D M O R E , V I S I T:
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Self-Care Starter Guide There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to self-care. Everyone has different physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual needs. This starter guide is a tool to help you identify areas where you can start practicing self-care in your life. We’ve broken it down to a simple step-by-step process to help you build your own custom self-care plan. STEP ONE: IDENTIFY CURRENT COPING SKILLS
Start by examining how you currently cope with stress. We all have our own way of dealing with life’s daily demands. However, there are healthy and unhealthy ways of coping. Be honest with yourself when identifying your coping mechanisms. If you find yourself leaning toward unhealthy habits, you’ll need to rethink how you currently handle stress. Below are some examples of healthy and unhealthy coping habits: Healthy
Unhealthy
• Getting some fresh air/going for a walk
• Yelling
• Deep breathing techniques • Meditation • Exercise • Listening to relaxing music • Practicing home cooking • Taking a warm bath • Starting a stress journal • Engaging in a favorite hobby, such as knitting, reading, or crafts • Engaging and socializing with close friends and family
• Smoking cigarettes • Drinking excessively • Overeating or binging on junk food • Skipping meals • Avoiding friends and family • Using pills or drugs to relax • Procrastinating/avoiding problems • Sleeping too much • Taking stress or anger out on others • Engaging in other dangerous or risky behavior
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S T E P T W O : I D E N T I F Y Y O U R S E L F - C A R E N E E D S A N D H O W Y O U C U R R E N T LY C A R E F O R T H E M
Now let’s look at what you’re currently doing to cope with your wellbeing. We’ve created a simple table to help identify the areas you’re currently practicing self-care and the areas you may need to work on.
A R E A O F H E A LT H
Physical Examples: Eating regularly, exercising regularly, getting regular medical checkups, getting enough sleep
Emotional Examples: Spending time with loved ones, finding things that make you laugh, allowing yourself to cry
Professional Examples: Taking vacations, balancing your workload, arranging a comfortable workspace, creating a peer support group
Psychological Examples: Setting aside time for yourself each day, practicing meditation, keeping a journal, getting counseling if needed
Social Examples: Scheduling regular social activities, spending time with loved ones, making new friends, asking for support
Spiritual Examples: Praying, meditating, reading books, attending church or synagogue
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YO U R C U R R E N T P R AC T I C E S
P R AC T I C E S YO U ’ D L I K E TO T R Y
S T E P T H R E E : P R A C T I C I N G D A I LY M A I N T E N A N C E S E L F - C A R E
Maintenance self-care refers to the little things you do to de-stress on a daily or weekly basis. Some examples include: • Going for a walk each day
• Listening to relaxing music
• Taking a relaxing bath before going to bed
• Having a game or movie night
• Taking a nap
• Working in a garden
• Practicing yoga
• Getting 8 hours of sleep
What are your maintenance self-care practices? If you don’t have any, start thinking of little activities that you can use to help make the week a little less stressful. Fill out this chart and start planning your weekly routines.
M Y W E E K LY M A I N T E N A N C E S E L F - C A R E P L A N
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
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STEP FOUR: PRACTICING EMERGENCY SELF-CARE
STEP FIVE: MAKE A COMMITMENT TO SELF-CARE
Emergency self-care refers to strategies you use to cope during high-stress situations or when facing a crisis. While these types of highstress situations may be rare, it’s better to have coping mechanisms in place beforehand. That way, you’ll be better able to cope with the stress.
Your self-care plan only works if you stay committed to it. Remember, by making a commitment to taking care of yourself, you also are making a commitment to those who depend on you — because at the end of the day, self-care is necessary for you to maintain healthy and positive relationships with those around you.
When picking out emergency self-care coping techniques, here are three things to consider: Staying Calm What activities can you do to immediately help you relax? For example, deep breathing exercises or getting fresh air. It’s also important to identify what activities will leave you more agitated and stressed and learn to avoid them. For example, consuming too much caffeine can leave you more agitated during an emergency.
One of the best ways to follow your self-care plan is to write it down. Feel free to use the charts in this guide or create your own. Having a physical copy helps you remember your selfcare regimen and makes it easier to follow. You also should keep track of your progress. Check in every other month to see how well you’ve done at following your weekly self-care plan and look for ways to constantly improve.
Positive Self-Talk Learn to give yourself positive affirmations. Be kind to yourself, believe in yourself, and recognize your hard work. Social Support Identify family or friends that can offer their support and guidance. Alternatively, it’s sometimes helpful to identify a list of people who might cause more stress during a highstress situation and make a note to avoid them for the time being.
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WA N T T O G E T S TA R T E D ?
Download a printer-friendly copy of this guide for you to fill out so you can get started on your own self-care journey.
frazerconsultants.com/ tmf-self-care-guide
T R I B U T E LOA N S
Offer the flexibility your families need with Tribute Loans. With financing, families can afford to give their loved ones the send-off they deserve. Offering financing directly on your website means one more service you offer families, and it also means your funeral home gets paid up front. C A L L T O R E Q U E S T A F R E E D E M O N S T R AT I O N O F T R I B U T E L O A N S T O D AY !
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Death Cleaning — Tips for Tidying and Decluttering Your Home Death cleaning can be defined as “the process of cleaning house before you die, rather than leaving it up to your loved ones to do after you’re gone.” It’s a time for you to decide what is truly necessary to keep and what is just taking up space. It’s sad to say but one day we are all going to die, which means we are all going to leave our things behind. This includes clothing, old receipts, sentimental belongings, photographs — the list goes on. While your loved one is mourning your death, they are going to have a lot on their mind. Sorting through your piles of belongings should be the least of their concerns. That’s why “death cleaning” is becoming a popular trend. We’re sharing some tips to help you get started on this process! TA K E A D E E P B R E AT H
Tidying expert Marie Kondo suggests that when organizing and going through belongings becomes too overwhelming, it’s important to step back and take a deep breath. This whole death cleaning thing may seem overwhelming but imagine if your loved ones had to do it while they were grieving. Not that this should be done out of guilt; rather, it should be the perfect excuse to get your home in order.
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S TA R T S M A L L
You’re not going to get this all done in one day unless you’re already a minimalist. Choose one area to focus on each organizing session. For instance, Marie Kondo suggests that you start with your clothing. Go through each item and decide if you’re actually going to wear it again. Your children will appreciate not having to sift through a stack of old sweaters! O R G A N I Z E Y O U R VA L U A B L E S A N D D O C U M E N T S
If you have items you plan to pass onto family members, make sure they’re noted. Write down where the item is and who it will go to. This is also something to keep in mind when writing your will. This takes a great burden off your loved ones. No one has to decide who gets your precious jewelry or fine china. They can just focus on being there for each other. Even better, if you’re no longer using these items, give them to your loved ones before you pass. Then, you get to see them being enjoyed!
Also, another way to really help your family out is to have your important documents properly filed. Make sure it is easy for your family to locate your account information, contacts, and important paperwork. LET GO
You don’t need to keep every single birthday card you’ve ever received. When going through items like these ask yourself: Will I really ever take the time to look at these? It’s likely that the only time you will is when you’re deciding if you should get rid of it — that means it’s time to toss it. Only keep things that truly mean a lot to you.
SLIM DOWN
Is your pajama drawer overflowing? Do you have more dishtowels than any person would ever need? It’s time to donate these items you have multiples of to people who will actually use them. Less stuff means less clutter and less stress for everyone involved. T O R E A D M O R E , V I S I T:
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Getting to Know Frazer Consultants Meet two members of our Frazer Family — Heather and Renée — and see what they have to say about how your funeral home can save time.
W H AT W E O F F E R NAME
Heather YEARS
Three ROLE
Production Manager
W H AT I D O AT F R A Z E R
As the production manager here at Frazer Consultants, it is my job to provide support and guidance to the production team throughout the entire website build process and beyond. We are a dynamic group that includes project managers, site designers, and launch specialists all focused on assisting busy funeral directors who want to have an internet presence that is both beautiful and highly functional. H O W W E S AV E Y O U T I M E
We are constantly striving to come up with ways to make building and maintaining your website as manageable as possible without compromising the original style you have worked so hard with us to create. We know you can be pulled in a thousand different directions as you serve people experiencing one of the most difficult times in their lives. That is why I want to share the various editable tool pages we offer on the Frazer website platform that you can be taking advantage of in order to save time without overlooking design.
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There are several editable pages that can save your funeral home time. One is our online planning tool that gives your busy families a chance to explore, select, and purchase the various services and offerings you have available to them at any given time without having to leave the comfort of their home. There also is a merchandise tool that allows you to easily display a selection of the products available to the families you assist. There is an upcoming events tool that organizes all of the community events you host or participate in by date, and there is a blog tool that provides you with a place to connect with your families on a whole new level while providing insight into the funeral profession as well as support in difficult times of loss. To help your families get to know you, there is a staff tool that can give potential families a little bit of insight into the kind of people that work at your facilities and could be assisting them after the death of a loved one. There also is a testimonial tool that serves as a place to share the feedback you are receiving. Overall, these pages provide you with another opportunity to relate to your families on an even deeper level while giving them the muchneeded information they are looking for online. And though this may seem like one more laborious thing to add to your already lengthy to-do list, we want you to know that entering the information into your Frazer admin panel is nothing more than inputting your content into preset fields that will stylize the data according to the preset design of your website.
NAME
Renée YEARS
Five ROLE
Senior Sales Consultant
W H AT I D O AT F R A Z E R
As a senior sales consultant here at Frazer, I help you find time-saving solutions, so you can focus on what matters most — serving your client families. It is my passion to understand what matters most to you. By understanding your business and how you manage your dayto-day operations, we can develop a solution that is right for you. H O W W E S AV E Y O U T I M E
From the beginning, it’s been our mission as an organization to save our funeral directors time and money. We know that time is your most valuable asset. That is why Frazer offers an allin-one business solution to help our customers save time and drive efficiencies within their day-to-day business operations. W H AT W E O F F E R
With the Frazer website platform, we strive to integrate openly with your funeral management company and allow their platforms to push that
data into both the website and our print-ondemand stationery solution, Tribute Center. This eliminates the need to enter the same information into multiple platforms, so with one click of a button, your obituary is posted to your website and your memorial products are ready to print. Now let’s talk about what I mean by an “all-inone business solution.” Frazer has made many advancements to not only save you time, but also provide options to offer families different payment solutions to meet each of their unique needs. With Tribute Pay, you’re able to collect payments for your services. In Tribute Pay’s simplest form, we offer the capability to collect credit card payments and eChecks right on your website with no monthly fees. The platform offers financing options through many of our loan providers, life insurance assignments, and the ability to set up crowdfunding campaigns. Too good to be true? No ma’am or sir! It’s all built directly into your website admin panel and pushes all payments right into your chosen bank accounts. In short, you should never have to turn away business based on the financial situation your client families find themselves in. With everything we spoke about above, we are just scratching the surface. Please give us a call to discuss all of the other ways we can help to get you back to doing what matters most, spending more time with your family or hopefully taking a little time off. We know you deserve it and it certainly doesn’t happen enough.
From the beginning, it’s been our mission as an organization to save our funeral directors time.
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Juggling Family and a Funeral Home: Tips for Family-Owned Funeral Homes Family-owned funeral homes are a reward on their own. You get to work side by side with your family members doing something that you’re passionate about. When working with your own family, teamwork comes naturally, as you know each other well and how you best work and think. However, with all the benefits, there also are some challenges that you’ll need to work through. But if you have a plan and work together as a team, you can have a successful business. Let’s discuss some tips for family-owned funeral homes to have both a successful business and home life. E S TA B L I S H A W O R K - L I F E B A L A N C E
Establishing a work-life balance is crucial for family-owned funeral homes. For this reason, it’s best to keep work-related discussions at work and separate from your home life. However, this doesn’t mean you can’t talk about your workday around the dinner table. It just suggests you save more important work-related discussions for your funeral home rather than your home. Your home should be a place for relaxing and spending time with your family. Of course, this isn’t always easy, as funeral directors are on call 24/7. But whenever it’s possible, save work-related conversations for your funeral home to create a healthy worklife balance.
C R E AT E A S U C C E S S I O N P L A N
Especially for family-owned businesses, you should have a detailed succession plan. Who is going to run the business once the current owner retires? For funeral home owners with multiple family employees, this could end up being a more difficult discussion. It’s important to have an open and honest discussion with your family to decide who is the most qualified candidate. By having a plan in place, you can avoid conflicts down the road when the time comes for a new owner to step up. H AV E R U L E S F O R H A N D L I N G C O N F L I C T S
In a perfect world, everything would always run smoothly. But, unfortunately, conflicts arise, and you should prepare for how to address them. They also can serve as learning moments for everyone and improve your funeral home for the better. For example, oftentimes, conflicts can arise between the different generations. Each generation has its own way of doing things, but it’s important to consider everyone’s point of view. Change is scary but being stagnant is even worse for a business. Embrace ideas for
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innovation, so your funeral home can continue to grow and better serve your client families. Going back to the work-life balance, don’t let family conflicts get brought into the workplace. This not only creates a tense and awkward situation for your staff but also for your client families. Resolve these conflicts at your home so they aren’t brought into your funeral home. DON’T BE AFRAID TO RECRUIT OUTSIDE HELP
It’s more than okay to hire people outside of your family. You’re still a family-owned funeral home at your core, even if some of your employees aren’t family members. Hire employees that feel like family that you forget aren’t blood-related.
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Whether you’re hiring another funeral director or a marketing manager, you can welcome them to your funeral home family with open arms. D O N ’ T P L AY FAV O R I T E S
Treat family and non-family employees equally, as no one should receive special treatment just because they’re family. Evaluate everyone based on their skills and work ethic and have annual reviews to make sure everyone’s living up to their potential. T O R E A D M O R E , V I S I T:
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TRIBUTE CROWDFUNDING
Crowdfunding options without the risk. With Frazer-powered websites, your families can host crowdfunding campaigns for memorial funds, medical expenses, charity donations, funeral expenses, and more. The best part? Your funeral home is in charge, traffic stays on your website, and you get paid up front. C A L L T O D AY F O R M O R E I N F O R M AT I O N ABOUT TRIBUTE CROWDFUNDING!
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Staying Active: Deskercises for Funeral Directors Even though funeral directors are constantly on-the-go planning funerals, there’s still a good portion of the day that you spend sitting at a desk. When a lot of your workday involves sitting, it can be hard to get enough daily exercise. Whether you are entering in data, filling out paperwork, or posting to your funeral home’s social media accounts, you are most likely sitting at your desk. That’s why many workers who spend a lot of time sitting are doing desk
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exercises — also known as deskercises. These are exercises that can be done at your desk — some even while you’re still sitting! Many of these exercises are simple and discrete, so you can stay productive while also staying active.
Here are some examples of exercises that funeral directors can do at their desk or around their funeral home’s facility. A R M , W R I S T, A N D H A N D S T R E T C H E S
Stretch your arms above your head for about 10 seconds. Then, stretch your wrists by stretching one arm in front of you and using the other hand to pull your hand straight down at the wrist. Hold for 20 seconds and repeat three times for each hand. Shaking your hands for a few seconds also helps provide some relief, especially after typing for a long time. CHAIR SWIVELS
While holding your desk with your feet off the floor, swivel your chair by using your core to twist it back and forth. DIY BIKE
Sit on the edge of your desk chair while holding onto the armrests and bring your knees up like you’re riding a bike. LEG LIFTS
While sitting, lift one or both of your legs, hold for several seconds, and repeat. You also can put something on your legs or wrap something around them, like a bag, to add weight. This is great for being discrete. SHOULDER SHRUGS
Simply alternate shrugging your shoulders 20 to 30 times to work the trapezius muscle in your back. Also, making sure that you’re not slouching at your desk can help relieve back pain related to prolonged sitting.
S T R E T C H I N G Y O U R J AW
When working at your desk, remember to move your jaw from side to side a few times a day to relieve jaw pain related to stress. S TA N D U P
Another popular trend that we’re seeing in the workforce is standing desks. Many of these desks are adjustable so you can switch between sitting and standing throughout your work day. There are many different styles, such as an adjustable tabletop stand or an entire desk that’s adjustable. EXERCISES AROUND THE FUNERAL HOME
By getting away from your desk for a little bit, you also can squeeze in some exercise — even when you’re doing your daily routine tasks. If you’re waiting for something to print or download or for the coffee to brew, you can do some wall push-ups or wall sits. When it’s an option, take the stairs or take a longer route to get in a few more steps — it all adds up at the end of the day. You also can use this as an opportunity to check in on coworkers to see how they’re doing and if they need help with anything. Another idea at your next staff meeting is for everyone to stand instead of sitting. Or even just have everyone stand for part of the meeting if possible. T O R E A D M O R E , V I S I T:
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Funeral Home Fitness: How to Stay Active Unfortunately for a funeral director on a busy, often irregular schedule, it can be hard to maintain a healthy exercise routine. But don’t let an unpredictable schedule stop you — it’s still possible to stay fit in the funeral home.
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C H A O T I C H O U R S C A N B E B A D F O R H E A LT H
As an always-on employee, there are health reasons why you’d want to start working on that fitness routine. A recent study found that irregular work hours can lead to a depressed mood, anxiety, and general fatigue. It also messes with the stress hormone cortisol. The flux in our cortisol levels — as studies have shown — leads to a weaker immune system, poor memory, weight gain, high blood pressure, and heart disease. That’s not good. But don’t worry, there’s a bright side. Exercise can help reverse the negative health effects of an unpredictable work schedule. T I P S F O R F I N D I N G T I M E T O S TAY F I T
Watch what you eat. Ok, it’s cliché, but it’s cliché for a reason. And it’s the best place to start a fitness routine. A healthy snack means more energy and an overall mood boost. Try mixing almonds, fresh fruit, lean meats like chicken and fish, and even fresh popped popcorn (avoid the microwave kind) into your diet. Also, drink a lot of water. Throughout the week you’ll feel the benefits. Set weekly goals to track and measure. Whether it’s calories burned, steps taken, water consumed, or time spent exercising, you can’t reach your fitness goals if you’re not measuring your progress. Weekly goals work better with irregular hours. You don’t have to exercise each day. But when you have a free moment in the week, use it to reach your exercise goals. There are plenty of apps to help you track your goals. Or use an old-fashioned pen and paper.
level of efficiency, stating “an hour ten years ago is worth less than an hour today.” Technology allows us to get more done, which leaves more time for fitness. Use inspiration. Some days, motivation will slip. It’s normal. Use something to keep you going like a special treat or other incentive. An article in Men’s Health also suggests using your rivals as motivation to keep exercising. So, go ahead, picture your rival funeral home across town to make it that extra mile. Work out efficiently. Pick an exercise that plays to your strength. Is your funeral home within walking distance? Try walking or jogging to work a few times each week. Or, if your funeral home is near a park, take a walk on lunch. Any time you have downtime can be a time to exercise. Make fitness fun. Sign up for fitness classes, or work with families and businesses to organize your own weekly runs/walks. Take it a step further and organize a fundraiser or a charity run. The commitment you made to serve your families shouldn’t mean sacrificing your health and fitness. Make sure to spend a little time each week exercising. T O R E A D M O R E , V I S I T:
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Use more technology. We live in the age of automation — use it to your advantage. An article in Business Insider explains how technology has created a high
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Nutrition for Funeral Directors: A Guide to Healthy Eating Do you want to practice more self-care? Start off right by eating foods for both a healthy body and mind. After all, you can’t take care of your families unless you take care of yourself.
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Healthy eating helps you feel good both physically and mentally. Besides the obvious reason for preventing health problems, it gives you energy for the day and helps to de-stress. Below are some healthy eating tips to help funeral directors in their professional and personal life. M Y P L AT E H E A LT H Y E AT I N G
MyPlate is all about eating balanced and healthy meals. It breaks up your meal into five categories: fruits, vegetables, grains, protein, and dairy. By eating nutritious foods and less sodium, saturated fats, and added sugars, you can have a healthier body and mind. This lessens your chances of developing health problems, such as heart disease and diabetes. It’s one thing to want to eat healthily and another to find time to make healthy meals. The day in the life of a funeral director can be unpredictable; some days you may have very little free time. But eating healthy doesn’t have to be a huge time commitment. MyPlate’s website helps you build simple yet delicious meals that are good for you too! DE-STRESSING FOODS
According to the National Institutes of Health, superfoods not only contain nutrients, but they help with detoxification and reducing stress. So, after a long day of work in the funeral profession, resist the temptation of junk food and try superfoods such as broccoli, celery, kale, and nuts. For example, a cashew chicken stir-fry includes all the de-stressing foods mentioned above. It’s as simple as choosing a few destressing foods and finding a recipe to make them into a delicious, healthy meal. ENERGIZING FOODS
Many foods contain natural ingredients that provide us energy for our busy day. To stay energized to help your families with funeral planning and grieving, try eating fresh berries, dark chocolate, and nuts. All these ingredients can be toppings on a yogurt fruit parfait. It’s a healthy breakfast to start your day, or a delicious dessert to end it. T O R E A D M O R E , V I S I T:
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FRAZER WEBSITES
Our websites work hard so you don’t have to. Frazer-powered websites are more than just beautifully designed — we put thought into every aspect of your site so that your families get the features they need, and we’re constantly adding features at no additional cost to your funeral home. C A L L T O R E Q U E S T A F R E E D E M O N S T R AT I O N T O D AY !
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2 5 0 1 PA R M E N T E R S T R E E T SUITE 300A M I D D L E TO N , W I 5 3 5 6 2
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T R I B U T E PAY
Make it easier to get paid up front. Tribute Pay puts your funeral home back in control of your accounts receivable. Offer credit card payments, financing, crowdfunding, life insurance assignments, and electronic checks all in one place — and get paid up front no matter what option families choose. CALL TO REQUEST A FREE D E M O N S T R AT I O N T O D AY !
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