Lesson Ten: The Fruit of Self-Control

SUMMARY: In this lesson we will be talking about the connection self-control has with the power of our witness in the world. We will also talk about the fact that even though self-control is a Fruit of the Spirit, we are expected to do our part in utilizing it to manage our spiritual lives.

LEAD-IN QUESTIONS:

1. Can you recall the last time you felt out of control as a Christian? 2. How is self-control related to our public witness for Christ? 3. Have you ever witnessed or experienced damage done by a Christian who has lost their self-control? 4. Is it possible to teach myself to have self-control, or is this something that the Holy Spirit must give it to me? Explain your answer. Self-control should not be confused with self-hatred or self-rejection. The “self” is not something evil that must be controlled because it is bad. Rather, the human self is complex, consisting of spiritual, emotional, and physical drives and desires all mixed together. Paul refers to this in 1 Thessalonians 5:23, “May the God of peace himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be kept sound and blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.” To function properly, there must be a proper order where the Spirit controls the mind and the mind controls the body. Thus, we can best show ourselves self-love by learning how to properly control ourselves.

Defining Self-Control

As we’ve done throughout the series, let’s look at the words the New Testament writers used to define self-control. Several different words are used in the Scriptures to express this idea. They include being of sound mind, temperate, or exhibiting self-governing principles in one’s life. The Greek word translated as self-control in Galatians 5:23 (egkrateia), is defined as “self-control, or the virtue of one who masters his desires and passions, especially his sensual appetites.”27 Paul uses this word to describe the kind of self-control exhibited by athletes in training to win athletic contests. “Athletes exercise self-control in all things; they do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable one.” (I Corinthians 9:25) Another word (sophronos), often translated as self-control, is more related to being sober (serious and thoughtful), having a sound mind, and being temperate (moderate). This concept of gaining control over one’s senses, desires, or emotions is a consistent theme throughout the Scriptures. For example, while warning Timothy about the kinds of people who will be around at the end time (prior to Christ’s return), Paul gives a laundry list of the kinds of wickedness that people will exhibit. He says that they will be “People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.” (2 Timothy 3:2-5 NIV) The word used here for “without self-control” is akratais. Thus, lacking self-control is one of the characteristics of the people that we are told to avoid as the end time draws near.

Lack of Self-Control

DISCUSS

Arguably one of the greatest hindrances to evangelism is the lack of self-control among Christians. Anyone who is been in ministry, or has been associated with the church for any length of time, has likely had that cringe moment when they saw a Christian “act out” because something didn’t go their way; or they got mad about something or someone in the church; or because they had a strong opinion that they wanted to voice regardless of the damage it would do; or they mistreated someone who irritated them. In that moment, all the Christian love, all the sweet spirit of unity, and all the attractiveness of Christianity went out the door. Truthfully, more damage has been done to the cause of Christ by out-of-control Christians than any other area of interaction with secular culture. The problem is that Christians seem no different than non-believers. They have the same level of morality, they react with the same anger, the same intolerance, and the same lack of patience as everyone else in society, undermining their claim to possess the transforming power of the Holy Spirit. Unfortunately, sometimes non-believers offer a better model of behavior than some Christians. In contrast, faithful Christians throughout the centuries have been known for their Counter-Cultural perspective – an alternative view from Secular Culture on life, morals, and ultimate things. This was one source of the first persecutions of Christians in the Early Church period. Their unwillingness to participate in pagan customs, and their decisions to boycott immoral pagan events made them the target of reprisals by the non-Christian public. Similarly, their refusal to acknowledge other gods as real caused them to be called atheists and threats to Roman culture. It is little wonder that they

American culture puts a great deal of emphasis on “being yourself” and “expressing yourself.” How would you answer a critic who claimed that self-control is a bad thing because it stifles and restricts our “true self”?

26 | SUSTAIN were rejected by a society dedicated to pagan gods and to the immoral lifestyles associated with them. When Christians chose to be different from the rest of society, their moral integrity made the best argument for becoming Christian. Though persecuted for their faith, they did not strike back at those who rejected or talked bad about them, and their behavior was the model of Christ-like restraint and self-control. The distinct differences between pagan and Christian culture offered clear options to those seeking answers to ultimate questions about the meaning of life. Unfortunately for the church in the modern era, Christians too often take on many of the negative characteristics of secular culture. The result is that more and more people are turned off by Christianity, and culture moves further and further away from the moral standards that Christians desire to see in society. In sum, the Church struggles to differentiate itself from culture, and, to a greater degree than we would like to admit, the church members allow culture DISCUSS dictate to them how they should order their lives. How should Sadly, we see lack of self-control among both laity we respond to and clergy leaders. In the last years, we have had the losses that several great Christian leaders and representatives

Christianity has who have “made shipwreck of their faith,” as Paul puts experienced in re- it in 1 Timothy 1:19. Whether it is the leader of a mega cent years among church, a highly regarded Christian musician, or the some of the most pastor of a local church, when the leadership of the visible leaders of the Church? How do we respond to those who church falls into sin or loses their faith, the witness of the Church is damaged. Although the damage can be offset to some degree by the work of countless faithful question the value Christians, the opportunities for growth and expansion of a religion that are certainly hindered by these failures and losses. seemingly can’t keep its heroes of the faith on the right path? How It is also important to remember that this is not a new problem. The Patriarchs — Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob — all had moments of moral failure. Moses was excluded can we protect from the Promised Land for disobeying God. King David ourselves from committed adultery and murder. King Solomon and experiencing the most of the kings who followed him were unfaithful same failures that to God. One of Jesus’s own disciples betrayed him, we read about in another denied him, and all of them failed him in his both Scripture and most difficult hour. We can learn two things from these the media? past failures of leaders: First, the mission of God can and does continue despite human failures. Second, however, there is a gravity to becoming a leader in the church. James warned us, “Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers and sisters, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.” (James 3:1) We live in a time when the relevance of the Church has come into question in the public sector. Many have come to believe that the moral and cultural influence of the Church is waning. Demographic numbers bear out the fact that the Church is on the decline rather than growing in North America. The Barna organization determined through surveys that only one in four Americans is a practicing Christian28 as of 2020, down from 45% in 2000. Those who claim to be atheists, agnostic, or “none’s” doubled in size from 11% in 2003 to 21% in 2018.

Self-Control and Evangelism

Why are we looking at survey numbers while we are talking about self-control? Because Christianity is a religion that is based on evangelism and recruitment. The mandate to win people to Christ, passed down to the Church by the Apostles, originated in the Great Commission. (Matthew 28:19-20) The Holy Spirit was sent to the Church on behalf of Jesus to impart power to “be my witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the Earth.” (Acts 1:8) The effectiveness of that witness is centered in the life lived on behalf of Christ in front of the world. The language of commissioning is clearly expressed in the writings of Paul to the Church: “So, we are ambassadors for Christ, since God is making his appeal through us; we entreat you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” (2 Corinthians 5:20-21) As God’s representative, His ambassadors, we are to be the righteousness of God. Paul reiterates that our lives represent Christ to the world in his letter to the Galatians: “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” (Galatians 2:20) In the letter to the Romans, Paul expresses the power of that crucifixion when he asks, “How can we who died to sin go on living in it?” (6:2) The premise of Christianity is that Christ died to save us from our sins that kept us out of relationship with God. Having re-established that relationship, it becomes the responsibility of the Christian to be the evidence that the change can occur by living a life that is radically different from the world that is largely made up of non-believers. The way the Christian thinks, speaks, and acts is the evidence of the difference between the Believer and the Non-Believer. The Christian thinks differently. We have a belief in a God who created and has personal interest in his Creation; in a fallen humanity in need of salvation; in the need to have a personal relationship with Christ Jesus to receive that salvation; in forgiveness of sin and guilt through Christ; in the eternal life of the believer; in freedom from the control of sin; and in the power to overcome troubles and difficulties through the Christ. The Christian speaks differently. We speak words of life rather than death; we affirm rather than belittle; we build up rather than tear down; we claim victory in the

28 http://www.barna.com/research/changing-state-of-the-church/. The research for this data was collected among 96,171 surveys over more than 20 years. For survey purposes, Barna defined Practicing Christians as persons who identify themselves as Christian; agree strongly that faith is very important in their lives; and have attended church within the past month. These are pre-pandemic numbers, so they are not skewed by the effects of the pandemic on church attendance.

face of defeat; we use words that honor rather than embarrass their Lord; and we witness aloud to our faith. The Christian acts differently. We care for the lost, the hurting, and the helpless; we behave morally and socially different because of absolute devotion to Christ; we love other believers and find ways to love the community on behalf of Christ; we try to better the community in which we live, and thus stand up for righteousness in that community; and we model our faith in our families and the way we raise our children. When our beliefs, words, and actions are in sync, the Christian church has the greatest growth and the greatest impact on society. On the other hand, when the members of the Church fail to live up to their calling, the non-believing world tends to ignore or reject the Church’s effort at evangelism and recruitment. Although several factors can affect a Christian’s faith and witness, it could be argued that self-control is the largest single factor that affects the ability of a believer to fight through the temptation and struggles that come with living a Christian lifestyle. Likewise, the ability to gain self-control has a direct proportional impact on whether the believer will have an effective and longterm witness for Christ.

Philosophy and Self-Control

To better understand the unique contribution of Christianity to the problem of self-control, it may be helpful to touch on what other Greek philosophers were saying about self-control in the same ancient world in which the New Testament was written. Observing the questions they were asking and the answers the proposed help us to see both what Christianity had in common with them, and how Christian beliefs were uniquely different. One group of philosophers, the Stoics, maintained that a person can only be happy if they take charge of their own thought processes. If how we think controls our state of happiness, thinking correctly becomes the key to our way of life. An example of this type of philosophy can be found in the writings of the Stoic philosopher, Epictetus, who died in 135 AD. His short piece on Stoicism titled, Enchiridion, is a good example of the way the Stoic way of life was to be implemented. Epictetus wrote, “Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our own actions…But if you suppose that only to be your own which is your own, and what belongs to others such as it really is, then no one will ever compel you or restrain you. Further, you will find fault with no one or accuse no one. You will do nothing against your will. No one will hurt you, you will have no enemies, and you will not be harmed.” His point is that if you only concern yourself with the things in your control, then you can never be unhappy. He goes on: “Men are disturbed, not by things, but by the principles and notions which they form concerning things. Death, for instance, is not terrible, else it would have appeared so to Socrates. But the terror consists in our notion of death that it is terrible… Don’t demand that things happen as you wish, but wish that they happen as they do happen, and you will go on well.” To Epictetus, the way that we think about something is the only thing that affects our sense of satisfaction or peace of mind. Nothing can bother us if we simply refuse to allow it to bother us; we may not be in control of the circumstance, but we can be in complete control of our response.29 The philosopher, Epicurus (341-270BC), believed that the answer to life is to seek pleasure and to avoid pain. He believed that the greatest pleasure is in philosophy and the matters of the mind. To live in sensual pleasures is to live the life of a beast, but humans are meant for the greater good of rationality. So, our thought-life should be our primary focus. Epicurus writes: “For this reason we call pleasure the alpha and omega of a happy life. Pleasure is our first and kindred good. It is the starting-point of every choice and of every aversion, and to it we come back, inasmuch as we make feeling the rule by which to judge of every good thing…By pleasure we mean the absence of pain in the body and of trouble in the soul. It is not an unbroken succession of drinking-bouts and of merrymaking, not sexual love, not the enjoyment of the fish and other delicacies of a luxurious table, which produce a pleasant life; it is sober reasoning, searching out the grounds of every choice and avoidance, and banishing those beliefs through which the greatest disturbances take possession of the soul.”30 Although Epicureanism has come to be known as the pursuit of pleasure without consideration of the consequences, this is not the theory of Epicurus at all. He, like the Stoics, felt that the highest good for every human being was to maximize their use of their rationality, and to live a life controlled by our minds. Notice with the philosophers where the responsibility for our self-control is situated: According to Epictetus and Epicurus, we are to use our own reason to determine how we live, and what will make us happy. In other words, they claim that I can always be happy, if I just think the right thoughts. Paul and the other writers of the New Testament would agree that self-control is necessary for happiness, that part of self-control includes taking responsibility for how we respond to situations even when we can’t control the circumstances, and that we must choose to pursue higher goals than mere sensual pleasure. However, in these Greek philosophies, happiness, personal changes, and fulfillment are all dependent upon us. The difference between these systems and

DISCUSS

Can you think of situations in which a Christian thinking, speaking and acting differently led to someone else becoming a Christian?

28 | SUSTAIN Christianity is that they do not include the role of God or a spiritual dynamic in their pursuit of happiness and fulfillment. For the Christian, gaining self-control is not something we do on our own but something we pursue in relationship with Christ through his Spirit.

Self-Control and the Spirit

DISCUSS

How do you react to the thoughts of the philosophers mentioned here? Do you see a reflection of these ancient philosophies in the modern “folk wisdom” we often receive today about how to succeed in life by having a “positive attitude” and “working hard to achieve our goals”? Can we control our own thinking, emotions, and behavior to the extent that the two early philosophers suggest? The great variable that must factor into the conversation about self-control, moral righteousness, and our witness is the degree to which the presence of the Holy Spirit is active in the life of a believer. As we have seen with each of the fruit of the Spirit, the fruit originate in the Holy Spirit. So, the more that the Spirit is free to operate in the believer, the more visible the fruit will become in their life. This is particularly true with the fruit of self-control. And yet, having said this, the Scripture is also very clear that we must be a part of the process as well. We are expected to choose with our will to live a life characterized by self-control. This is best understood as a cooperative process, according to Scripture. We do not replace self-control with “Spirit-control,” but rather we develop self-control through the power of the Spirit. The writers of Scripture clearly believe that we can, in fact, have self-control; it is within our reach. John Wesley explained this belief in terms of an implied promise behind every command. That is, God would never command us to do something that we cannot possibly do; therefore, each command comes with an implicit promise that He will give us the ability to carry it out. This is true even for seemingly hard commands such as “be perfect [in love] even as your Father in Heaven is perfect.” (Matthew 5:48) In Romans 6, Paul explains that we must choose to offer ourselves to either Christ or sin. He says, “present yourselves to God,” as if to say that it is in our hands to make the move. (Romans 6:16) In a similar vein, Paul later says that the way that we live is up to us, and that we must either live by the flesh or the Spirit. “For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.” (Romans 8:5) Notice in the verse that we have a choice about how we “set” our minds. Again, in Romans 12, Paul tells the believers to “present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.” He follows it with the admonition, “do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” The language here puts the responsibility on us as believers. We are to present ourselves wholly to God, and we are not to allow ourselves to be conformed to the world. Paul not only speaks in general terms of our responsibility to participate in our own spiritual growth, but he also writes specifically about self-control. For example, when writing to those who wish to remain single to maximize their freedom to serve the Lord, Paul gives this advice: “But if they are not practicing self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion.” (1 Corinthians 7:9) In other words, if they are having trouble controlling themselves, then marriage is the better alternative rather than falling into sin. Paul writes to the Thessalonians, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from fornication (unmarried sex); that each one of you know how to control your own bodyin holiness and honor, not with lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God.” (4:4) Notice the language here – we are to control our own bodies in “holiness and honor.” In all these cases, the responsibility falls on us as Christian men and women to take charge of our own moral situation. Likewise, when the Apostle Peter is counseling his readers as to what they should do to escape the corruption of the world, he links faith to self-control. “For this very reason, you must make every effort to support your faith with goodness, and goodness with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with endurance, and endurance with godliness, and godliness with mutual affection, and mutual affection with love.” (2 Peter 1:5-7) Peter explains that when we pair knowledge with self-control the product will be endurance. This actually makes perfect sense. Self-awareness is a critical aspect of self-control – we are better able to control ourselves when we understand ourselves well. If I have self-control, I will begin taking charge of areas that are not being lived under the authority of Christ. As I continue to walk into this lifestyle, endurance will be the result because of the strength gained from each new conquest of those areas of weakness. Moving into Paul’s letters to Timothy and Titus, Paul tells Timothy to encourage the women to dress modestly and to use self-control as they choose the way that they should look. (I Timothy 2:9) In speaking about the overseer or bishop of the congregation, he suggests that there must be no question about a bishop’s character, and among several other traits, the bishop must have self-control. (I Timothy 3:2) In talking to Titus about the families under his authority, he tells the young preacher to encourage the young men and women to exhibit self-control in their families and in the community. The main reason that these patterns should be followed is so that the believing community will not be discredited in the eyes of the public. (Titus 2:3-6) This brings us back to the beginning of this lesson. As human beings we are to do the best that we can to have good lives, and to take care of our loved ones. But as Christians, that is not the only purpose we have as we live out our lives on this planet. We have also been called to be a community that recruits people to the Kingdom of God through our words, our moral lives, and our actions in community. We are called to be Agents of Change through the power of the Holy Spirit. The very nature of our calling makes us Counter-Cultural – we are different from the culture around us, and we are calling people out of it. Peter describes us as aliens living in a foreign land (1 Peter 2:11). If our lives are not different from the culture, then we have nowhere to bring the people we call. One of the ways that we will give the clearest evidence of our difference is in

our use of self-control to govern our lives. We are not like the rest of the world because we choose not to be – that choice is implemented by our self-control. That self-control, as Galatians 5:23 tells us, is empowered by the Holy Spirit. When this fruit truly becomes effective in the life of the believer, the power of our witness is taken to a whole new level. The challenge to each of us is whether we will take charge or not. God can accomplish His mission without us, but He has given us the privilege of being part of the process of bringing people into the Kingdom. Each of us is individually unique as a human being, and that uniqueness makes our role in the evangelism process specific to each one of us. As Paul indicated, we are like a body, and each part as a role to play. The hand cannot do the work of the eye, nor can the foot do the work of ear. Each unique part of the body plays a role in strengthening and expanding God’s Kingdom. For that reason, our role as ambassadors of Christ is both a privilege and a responsibility. Let’s all pray that God can use us to be part of the solution, rather than work around us because we are part of the problem.

The Fruit and the Law

As we close out this last lesson on the Fruit of the Spirit, we need to look at the statement at the end of Galatians 5:23, “against such things there is no law.” Paul is explaining to us that when the Fruit are operating to the maximum extent in a person’s life, that person is naturally living out the demands of the Law of God. The Spirit, then, goes far beyond trying to figure out the “dos and don’ts” of the Christian life. I’m sure that all of us have heard someone say that they don’t believe in the Church because it is all about laws and negative commandments. In reality, the laws of the Old Testament are, in many ways, rational responses to spiritual truth. If there is one true God, then rejecting idolatry and the worship of other gods is automatically true. If loving one’s neighbor is the primary truth, then not taking the life of an innocent person, or stealing from them, just makes practical sense. The phrase “against such there is no law,” is expressing a truth found in several other locations in the New Testament. Jesus, for example, when asked to name the one greatest Commandment, named two – to love God with your whole being, and to love your neighbor as yourself. He finished his answer by telling his listeners that “on these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.” (Matthew 22:40) Paul expresses the same mindset when he wrote that “the whole law is summed up in a single commandment, ‘you shall love your neighbor as yourself.’” (Galatians 5:14) So, living out the Fruit of the Spirit is merely living into the Law and Prophets as defined by Jesus and Paul. And the power to do this is found in living the life of the Spirit. This is a process that happens as we apply the Cross to the fleshly (non-spiritual) desires that oppose Christ in our life. Paul makes the point in his letter to the Romans, when he writes, “For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.” (Romans 8:13 NIV) The early part of this chapter says that the flesh (our sinful human tendencies and desires) is opposed to the Spirit of God, and we must utilize his Spirit to go after those fleshly desires to cut them out of our lives. Think of this like pruning your plants – you have to cut out what is not needed to allow what you need to grow out. We can never be the person God intends us to be if we mix the Spirit and flesh together. Just as God told the Israelites to not make treaties with, intermarry with, or follow the gods of the pagan nations around them in the Promised Land (Deuteronomy 6:4-5), so spiritually the Christian must not compromise with the flesh but live entirely by the Spirit. As Christians, we have been called to step out from society and be holy – set apart for God. That begins and ends with the two most basic laws that exist – love God; love neighbor. Each fruit of the Spirit is a building block on those two laws. Without this fruit lived out in the presence of non-Christian culture, the Church has little hope to convert sinners to Christianity. When we lack the Fruit of the Spirit, we diminish our own spiritual quality of life, and we will find that being a Christian is a much greater struggle than it was meant to be. “All in” is the catchphrase of the Christian. To blend flesh and spirit is to be miserable as a Christian. To fulfill the Law and Prophets is to live the life of love, which, to practicing Methodists/Wesleyans, is the sanctified life taught by John Wesley. Though one of the fruits of the Spirit is love, in the greater sense love is the key element behind all the Fruit of the Spirit. When we love God with our whole being, we will exhibit the rest of the Fruit that inform the way that we treat everyone else around us. When we love our God and our neighbor, and the Fruit operate within us, then we align ourselves with the Law and Prophets. There is no better way to live!

DISCUSS

Have you had the experience of being “half way” in your relationship with Christ—trying to keep certain religious rules, but not really giving God your whole heart? How did that work for you? Would you describe yourself as “all in” now?

APPLICATION IDEA: This week pray that the Lord will reveal to you where you have the least self-control in your life. Ask the Lord to reveal those times that your lack of self-control has hindered your witness. Submit them to the Lord and continue giving them to the Lord until you gain victory in them.