How to negotiate with resistant aging parents

BY JUDITH GRAHAM KFF HEALTH NEWS

You’ve reached a standstill with your mother and father, who are in their late 80s. You think they need some help in the home, but they vigorously refuse. You’re frustrated because you want to make their lives easier. They’re angry because they think you’re interfering in their affairs.

Can negotiation and dispute resolution techniques used in the business world help defuse these kinds of conflicts?

Yes, say a group of researchers at Northwestern University. And they’re on to something.

These experts have developed a training curriculum on negotiation and dispute resolution for social workers, care managers, and health care professionals who regularly work with resistant older adults. Materials for family caregivers are being developed, too.

Instead of avoiding difficult issues or simply telling people what to do (“You’ll