Marriage Q&A

By Reed Graff

Standard-Radio Post sports editor

A lot has changed in the world over the past 50 years.

The way we spend our money, the leaders of our country and the way we meet others have all shifted and developed over time. So, keeping those changes in mind, the Fredericksburg Standard-Radio Post thought it would be fun to talk to two couples from two different eras and see the differences in their responses to the same set of questions.

First is Cristol and Carl Schoessow, a Fredericksburg couple approaching 50 years of marriage.

Cristol said they met while attending Texas Lutheran University in 1970.

“I was practicing twirling and Carl came by my dorm after football practice to borrow my Fredericksburg High School band jacket for a fraternity picture,” she said. “I was reluctant to turn over the jacket, but Carl was convincing.”

The two became lab partners in a biology class and started dating in the spring of 1971.

Our second couple is Julia and Tyler Feller, a couple celebrating six months of marriage. The two met in 2015 and were married in late 2020.

“I taught Tyler’s twin sibling during the school year,” Julia said. “At the end of the year, Tyler’s brother told me that I had gone to high school with Tyler. We connected on Facebook and that’s how the ball got rolling.”

We asked both couples the same set of questions. Here are their responses.

Carl and Cristol Schoessow

What is the most important factor of a marriage?

“Having Christ in our home is most important for us,” the Schoessows said. “As a direct benefit comes attributes of love, commitment, respect, communication, forgiveness and compromise.”

For the Fellers, it was communication that was kept at the heart of their relationship.

“Communication is important, but understanding your partner’s perspective is necessary for

communication,” they said. “You both grew up differently, and how you respond or communicate is different, so make sure you are able to understand your partner’s perspective so you can give them what they need.”

When did you know you met your future spouse?

Neither couple pointed to a specific moment or day for when they knew they were in love, rather saying they came to the realization over time.

“We knew we were each other’s forever when we realized we could hear each other’s concerns and move forward together to fix the issues we had,” the Fellers said. “It made us feel safe that our feelings mattered, and the other person wanted to be better for the other.”

The Schoessows shared a similar story, saying they knew they had found each other when they couldn’t live without the other.

“We knew we wanted to spend our lives together after Carl started law school and we were living in different cities and we weren’t able to see or talk with each other daily,” they said. “We became engaged in 1973 on Valentine’s Day after the wedding of Cristol’s best friend.”

Julia and Tyler Feller

What advice would you give to newlyweds or young couples?

Much like the younger couple had stated earlier in the interview, the Schoessows preached on the importance of communicating in a relationship.

“Communicate, communicate, communicate,” they said. “Each needs to share his/her expectations needs, dreams, values, and everything else that is important so the other spouse can recognize what is important and better understand

and be supportive. Take time for each other. Share the child and household responsibilities and joys. Admit when you are wrong and choose to forgive.”

The Fellers stressed the importance of love and forgiveness in a relationship.

“When life gets settled and comfortable, your partner’s faults will come out more, and this is only because you two are in a more comfortable position since you are married,” they said. “Be sure to remember that your partner’s faults were always there, your partner is also having to deal with your faults, so give your partner and yourself grace in those moments.”

(830) 456-2280 • maggiegillespiedesigns.com