POST TENEBRAS LUX

BY CATRIONA MURRAY

Probably one of the most iconic Christmas scenes in literature is Charles Dickens’s evocation of Fezziwig’s party for his employees. Or is it the March girls, sallying forth to visit their less fortunate neighbours, bringing their own breakfast as a gift? Maybe it’s neither of those. Instead, it might be from ‘Hercule Poirot’s Christmas’, where the eponymous detective spends yet another holiday in a country mansion, filled to the brim with people he barely knows.

In all likelihood, it’ll be a scene involving multitudes and socialising — as though the entire purpose of the season is never to spend a single moment alone, or in silence.

That, to introverts like me, is the stuff of nightmares. But we seem to live in a world that is not built with people like us in mind. If introverts are mentioned at all it’s in terms of what is wrong with us, and how we might be ‘cured’ of the malady that ails us. Recently, I saw a meme on social media that said something like, ‘Just for a change, wouldn’t it be nice to read an article about the trouble with extroverts, and how we can get them to be quiet and calm down’.

Yes. Yes, it would.

Being introverted does not mean that I don’t like people. It simply means that I am drained rather than energised by interacting with others and that, after so much of it, I need to be by myself for a while. Back in the day I’d have been called ‘neònach’ (peculiar). Who knows — perhaps I still am! I love being able to have a real conversation with one or two others; I do not love being in a room filled with extraneous noise. My idea of a good time is certainly not being surrounded by a whole lot of strangers, and I don’t think that is as unusual a position as society likes to suggest.

Introverts currently account for anything between twenty-five and forty per cent of the population, yet introversion remains a widely misunderstood personality trait. It tends to be written off as shyness and something that folk have to ‘get over’. The reality is, however, that we simply lean towards a desire for solitude to survive.

And that is a problem during such a sociable season of the year. More concerning, it can be a problem for the gathered church at any time. Most churches are predicated on a desire for people to be together in large numbers, and to have fellowship as frequently as possible. For many introverts, this is a daunting and even overwhelming prospect.

Before anyone gets the urge to email me, I should explain something: I know that church isn’t about me, or how I feel. I am not looking for everyone else to change to make me feel comfortable. There’s quite enough of that in modern society already. Nor should I use my introversion as an excuse for not serving Christ.

But I would like us, as a church, to consider that introverts are among us. Perhaps they watch online because coming into a big building full of people is scary. It may be that they don’t have a buddy, and are daunted by turning up to things alone in a place filled with friend groups, couples and families. Maybe they ARE serving Christ, but not via any ‘official’ programme of activities. I don’t personally enjoy ladling out soup, or spending my weekend teaching children, but I pray, and I write. These things are not part of congregational activities, but they ARE part of what I think God has given introverted me to do.

It’s possible for Christians to be introverted, but to still play a part. Some of them will remain followers from afar, but followers nonetheless. We have to be careful as a church not to crush such people by telling them they MUST attend, they MUST join, they MUST serve in this particular way. God called them — and he will find a way to use them in the service of his kingdom.

It had been said by Tim Keller, amongst others, that church is not a showroom for saints, but a hospital for sinners. We are all a work in progress — the confident, sociable Christians are loved; but so too are the quiet, introspective ones.

We are, quite literally, a broad church: men, women, children, teenagers, the elderly, couples, single people, widows and widowers, the employed and unemployed, retired people and business owners, the ill and those blessed with good health, the extroverts and the introverts.

All God’s creatures have a place in the heavenly choir. •