GOD SETS THE LONELY IN FAMILIES PSALM 68:6

BY REV NORMAN & ALISON MACKAY

According to recent research one of the most urgent issues confronting our contemporary society is that as a nation W e are experiencing an epidemic of loneliness . This is not a perspective shaped simply by piecemeal anecdotal evidence. Rather, it is an alarming observation grounded in and supported by solid systematic research, statistical analysis and empirical evidence.

Clearly, we must recognise that we all get lonely sometimes, at least this side of glory. What we are speaking of here, though, is a prolonged experience of loneliness that is harmful, and can affect our mental health and wellbeing. As such it is a negative emotional experience and indicates an unmet need for social connection.

Psalm 68 highlights God’s compassion and care for those who are lonely, isolated, or marginalised. God’s action of placing the lonely in families reflects his desire for community and belonging, reminiscent of his creation of Eve for Adam, where he states that it is not good for man to be alone. In biblical times, family was the primary social unit, providing support, protection and identity.

It is against this background that we find the New Testament concept of the Church as a family of believers, who are all equally loved members of God’s household, and as such share in the blessings and responsibilities that come with this privilege.

The word that is inspired by the Holy Spirit to describe the family dimension of our relationships with one another is the Greek word koinonia , which our English translations render fellowship . At the heart of this word is the meaning “to partner” or “to share.”

But what does this imply? How does it manifest itself in the life of the church?

Sometimes we erroneously think of fellowship as a feeling of warmth and security that we experience in each other’s company. Of course this is no bad thing, and we have all at times been in the company of people whose presence seems to bless us in this way.

However, in biblical usage koinonia is set forth as an objective Christian reality that in particular bears witness to three things we hold in common as members of God’s family:

Our Family Inheritance

This refers to all the glorious spiritual realities that we share in together, and which unite us as the family of God. In other words, despite all of our differences, we have the same God as our Heavenly Father, the same Jesus Christ as our Saviour and Lord and the same Holy Spirit as our indwelling Comforter. We have family emblems in the Lord’s Supper and baptism, and indeed, as we grow spiritually, we will progressively share in a family likeness.

Our Common Service

Koinonia not only expresses what we share in together, but what we give out together. For example, in Acts 2:42-47 the church is represented as (a) a learning church (b) a caring church (c) a worshipping church and (d) an evangelising church. As we trace this through the Acts of the Apostles, we witness the church increasingly understanding itself, organising itself, and expressing itself through its life and witness. However, this is not something that just happens. All of this requires a corporate commitment, built upon a willingness to serve.

Our Mutual Responsibility

When we speak in this way, we have in mind a kind of social partnership whereby we encourage, support and uplift one another. Perhaps the best way to understand the outworking of this is to underline in our New Testament all the uses of the phrase  “one another” . There are just under sixty such exhortations in the New Testament. But please note again, these are not actions dependent on how we feel, but resultant on our mutual commitment to support.

Over the years we have met many Christians who in the midst of church life say that they are lonely. There may be very particular circumstantial reasons behind this hurtful reality. Some Christians can be terribly restricted in church involvement, for example, due to the negative impact of their home circumstances, or poor health, or they might be the only family member committed to Jesus and the church, and their time has to be divided. These situations are sensitive, sometimes complex, and must be understood on a caseby-case basis.

However, many of us do not face these obstacles or restrictions yet still experience a sense of loneliness in the midst of the church. We have seen a pattern over the years, whereby those who gradually leave loneliness behind are not the ones who wait passively for others to meet this need in their own life. Rather it is the opposite. When we throw ourselves into the life of the church as described above, and do so to serve the Lord by supporting and encouraging others, our loneliness seems to lessen. It is not that we give ourselves to the life of the church as a means towards this end. It is rather that as God ‘sets the lonely in families’, he does so in the full expectation that we will all thereafter participate fully in family life, to the extent we can. Just as with all relationships in life, such a commitment demands time and patience, but we will surely be blessed ourselves in return. •