FREED MAGAZINE ISSUE VI: BEAUTY FOR ASHES by FREED Magazine

FREED ISSUE V|

Beaut y for Ashes V. Rose

Credits

EDITOR IN CHIEF Briana Ariel Green SR. WRITER Diamond Jones

COMMUNITY & BUSINESS R E L AT I O N S Carolina Aragon GRAPHIC DESIGNER Stephen Green JR. WRITER Kendra Anderson FA S H I O N D I R E C TO R Carlinn Esquilin COVER IMAGARY Jess Colossus of Haus of Londyn COVER STORY V. Rose

Created in prayer

CAROLINA ARAGON

IG: @carrrolllinaa

Diamond Jones

IG: @ adiamondadozen

Kendra Anderson

IG: @ ken _ nicole .0

When you pick up an issue of FREED Magazine or scroll through our Online Journal, we want you to feel as if you’re sitting down with a close friend. We hope the authenticity of our stories stirs your heart. Our desire is that our vulnerability allows you to be open with those you trust to expose what is broken, seek healing, and have the courage to one day tell your story. Our scars are reminders of the battles we faced and our stories testify to the healing that comes in surrendering to Christ. -T h e F R E E D F A M I LY

Briana Ariel GREEN

IG: @ByBrianaAriel

sTEPHEN gREEN

IG: @ForeverGreenBranding

Carlinn Esquilin

IG: @carlinnmarie

/ Ä R T/

+ /ˈTESTƏˌMŌNĒ/ ART

TESTIMONIES

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FREED MAGAZINE E D I TO R ' S L E T T E R This issue hits pretty close to home for me. I’ve seen various aspects of my life appear to be burned, demolished, and desolate. Those aren’t the things that I would highlight on my latest Instagram post or publicly share without reason. However, if we were to sit down at a local coffee shop and have a heart, to heart I would share a few instances where I felt all hope was lost. Then I would go on to share how much beauty came from those ashes. This magazine is a result of God creating beauty from the ashes of surviving an abusive relationship. In the midst of that pain, the presence of God gave me true freedom! That freedom came internally, before I ever saw my outside situation change. You are holding a piece of that beauty for my ashes in your hand right now. So many lives have been positively impacted by God’s creative way of bringing hope to hopeless situations. Beauty for ashes is inked in my heart because I truly believe God has continuously created beauty through my life. This issue is filled with redemptive, transparent and powerful testimonies of how God created beauty out of ashes. Our contributors poured out their heart and creativity into sharing specifically with you! The FREED Family and I hope you are inspired, encouraged, and empowered as your read through this publication.

-Briana Ariel Green & The FREED Family briana@freedmagazine.com

B riana A riel . com | IG: @B y B riana A riel

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// C h a r i t y B u rr i s

// V . R o s e

Issue VI \

/ / Tessa Hopman

24 38 // R a s h i d a W e e k e s FREED MAGAZINE 6

ISSUE VI

//E l l i e F e r n a n d e z

beauty for ashes

// S h a k e r a B r a tt e n

/ / Monica Theophilus

All contributors confirmed that the content submitted and published in FREED Magazine is owned by each contributor respectively.

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K e l ly B a i ley The Illustrator IG: @kelly_bailey_illustration

W here

do you find inspiration ?

My work often blends fashion illustration with pattern and contemporary art influences to visualise and create dynamic pieces of work. I have also had a fascination with figurative painters such as the Pre-Raphaelites, Degas, Egon Schiele, and Hockney, among others. I have spent many an afternoon at the Tate Britain and National Portrait Museum, completely in awe of these artworks.

W hat

projects are you currently working on ?

I am always working on new mixed-media approaches to fulfill design briefs and showcasing my work through competitions and exhibitions.

W hat

does being

FREED

or freedom look like to you ?

Freedom of self-expression and freedom of time, but most of all, I would say my creative practice as a means of escapism. In a world that feels considerably small right now, creativity, drawing, and painting have given me a sense of freedom necessary for my mental wellbeing and creative urges. This is the case for so many people, and I am privileged to be able to do what I do freely.

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Kelly Bailey | IG: @kelly_bailey_illustration

ISSUE VI

W hat

would you like our community to know about you ?

I, Kelly Bailey, am a UK-based designer and illustrator and have worked in the fashion industry for 20 years. I trained as a textile print designer. I have spent a number of years in New York working with a variety of brands, from Anne Klein, Lulu Guinness, Cynthia Rowley, Vera, Vince Camuto, and Macy's, to name a few. I have also been represented by London agents and acted as a freelance contributor to the global trend agency WGSN. Fashion illustration has always formed part of the design process to communicate brand vision and application to the body. This natural flair is something I have enjoyed and been commended for over the course of my career, igniting a passion for taking forward and developing a renewed focus on creative expression. I bring expertise as a fashion print designer and specialist skills of drawing and painting to the fore, exploring ink effects, layered transparent colour, shadow, and composition, together with the knowledge and flexibility to respond to a brand’s aesthetic. FREED MAGAZINE 9

Photographer: Katharina Medcher F R E E D M A G|| A Z I NIG: E 1 0@ inagram__

ISSUE VI Kelly Bailey | IG: @kelly_bailey_illustration

Artist: Ariadna Sala Soler || IG: @ ariadnasala.art https://colourtalks.ariadnasala.com FREED MAGAZINE 11

Charity Burris IG: @Mrs_Burris

God' S

promise

“For this child, I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to Him.” – 1 Samuel 1:27

My journey to have a child has been nothing short of a miracle from God, and I am eternally grateful. My husband and I have been married for seven years, and after traveling all over the world, we decided instead of waiting like we originally planned, we were ready to start a family. I remember the day clearly; we were touring Rome for our anniversary, and my husband randomly says, “I think I want to have a baby now! Do you?” I responded, “Absolutely!” We started trying, and three months later, nothing. Six months, nothing. A year passed, and nothing. We sought out a fertility specialist who told us this was “normal,” and she proceeded to prescribe medication. After trying medication in the first round,

still nothing. In 2018, I was diagnosed with unexplained infertility. We began praying and asking God for a miracle, and after much prayer, in June of 2018, we found out we were pregnant! I cannot describe how I was feeling but elated would be the closest description. As the weeks passed, I had no idea what to expect from pregnancy, so I ignored the fact that my symptoms slowly faded as my pregnancy progressed. In late August of 2019, we went for my 12-week appointment for an ultrasound, and as the nurse examined me, she fell silent for a moment and proceeded to say, “I shouldn’t tell you this yet but, your baby is measuring eight weeks along and has no heartbeat.” I remember feeling as if the floor was snatched from underneath me, and I cried a cry that I had never heard from myself right there in the exam room.

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ISSUE VI

The doctor came in to explain to me, but I can barely remember the conversation and sent me home to allow the baby to “pass” since I was so early on. I remember walking out of the hospital with my husband comforting me, and although I was saddened, I kept repeating to myself, “The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away; blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21). Through much prayer from those around us, we were able to move forward. I was officially given the go-ahead to try again after one month, so we started trying again. Once again, we struggled, and I was prescribed medication to enhance my chances. Miraculously the medication worked this time, and we found ourselves pregnant in 2019 to God be the glory! We found out at 10 weeks through blood testing that we were going to have a beautiful baby boy. I remember praying and thanking God daily for our rainbow baby I was carrying and decided to wait until I was five months pregnant to announce. I was in Cancun, Mexico, with my husband and his family when I decided to announce. When I returned home, I noticed a huge change in my body while at work, which prompted me to rush to the ER with my husband. Once I arrived, an ultrasound was performed, and I was told our baby was still alive, but my cervix had completely opened. I was told to abort my baby, or I would be at risk for infection and, in turn, could die. I decided against abortion and was sent home, but three days later, I found myself back in the hospital because I went into labor at home. I was only five months along and gave birth that day. Unfortunately, our second child, Titus Eugune-Lee Burris, passed on to eternity. After giving birth, I hemorrhaged and was almost given a blood transfusion after losing tons of blood, but I survived, to God be the glory.

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G od ' s P romise

continued

ISSUE VI

Before we left the hospital, I was diagnosed with an incompetent cervix and was told for any future pregnancies; I would be considered high-risk, put on bed rest, and would have to receive surgery each pregnancy for a stitch on my cervix to keep the baby in. I remember having a positive mindset after losing our first child, but this time was different. I grew up in church believing that questioning God was wrong, but my mother reminded me that Jesus questioned God on the cross, saying, “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46). My husband and I questioned God on several occasions because we didn’t understand. Once again, through prayer, each other, and encouragement from others, we were able to move forward but kept our son in memory. We were given the go-ahead to try again after three months. In March of 2020, we found out we were pregnant again for the third time! I was scared, nervous, excited, and cautious. My pregnancy went well, and my surgery for my stitch went smoothly. Our baby was healthy, and we discovered we were having a boy again. At 16 weeks of gestation, my husband and I both tested positive for COVID-19, but our son remained perfectly healthy throughout the duration of my sickness. On January 7, 2021, I gave birth to a full-term healthy baby boy. I continually thank God daily for His goodness. There have been many times in this journey when I did not understand why this was happening to us, but God showed me that my testimony would help women and couples in our situation. I sometimes know infertility, and pregnancy struggles can feel embarrassing, or it’s easy to feel ashamed, but so many women experience these problems, and I am grateful to be an example for others. Although this was not an easy journey, I thank God for the road that led us here. One thing I learned from my journey was that God has and always will be faithful no matter what happens in our lives. I am grateful for His word, His comfort, and His grace. To God be the glory.

What does being FREED mean to you? Being freed means being released or no longer bound by whatever is preventing you from reaching or doing something. What are you FREED from? I am freed from unrealistic exceptions, negative environments, social normalities, and more.

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OUR MISSION Empowering people

through authenticity to live a life in the

FREEDOM t h e y h av e b e e n g i f t e d

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HENGELH'S H ONEY www.hengelhshoney.com IG : @ h e n g e l h s h o n e y

Hengelh's Honey n u rt u r e h e a lt h y ,

is using honey to

selfless communities.

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REAL PEOPLE. REAL H O N E Y. FREED MAGAZINE 19

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"Freedom

is that

beautiful moment when y o u" F a r e a v u l n e r a b l e

r e e d o m i s t h at b e a u t i f u l

moment when you are a

a n d r e a. lW, h u m ,a n .

vulnerable and real,

human

When

hen you can feel

a n d l o v e d e e p ly

with no

one to stop you."

you can feel and love -Ellie Fernandez IG: @ellie__gracie

deeply, with no one to stop you."

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Ellie Photography by IG @ isaacvolegoff

Fernandez

Grief

IG: @ellie__gracie

Like wide, firm hands being pressed deep into the skin on my chest, the pressure remains. My heart tender, my eyes wide, tears welling up from the depths of my being, forming and falling, forming and falling. Each tear rolling down my cheek, each telling a story of pain, sorrow, and each tear being captured by my father’s kind warm hands. Grief, the word that sends shivers down spines or puts knots in others’ throats. There are those kinds of people that meet grief with ‘at least’s,’ the silver lining of such pain, who haven’t learned the art of getting lowly, falling to your knees, and being messy as our Jesus so honestly does. Jesus wept, knowing he would bring life back to Lazarus. We can hold grief and faith in a beautiful tension as we connect with deep compassion and are moved by injustices whilst holding tight to faith and hope for more. We allow ourselves to enter true wholeness. We can grieve loss without it being a comment on our faith. Give space to let the agape love penetrate our being and heal our hearts.

What does being FREED mean to you? To choose vulnerability in all areas of life. To express life honestly and truthfully. To know yourself, God, and others. To choose freedom every day. What are you FREED from? Every day I become a little more freed from the expectations and judgment of others and learn to express my truth despite the consequences.

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Rashida Weekes I G : @ r o o t d v e ga n r o o t d v e ga n . c o m

Purpose Redeemed S ix years ago, I was in therapy, fighting for my life. My purpose versus my desires. Picture yourself playing tugof-war with the enemy for your soul. The deal is, if you win, you’ll be free, but if you lose, you will have to live as a slave to your desires for the rest of your life. This was my life for nine years; it was like being on a rollercoaster with peaks and valleys of fire.

“How did you get here?” one might ask. The desire to be intimate with the same sex was a seed planted as a child and watered with a series of events throughout my adolescence and teenage years. Being touched inappropriately in school, along with exposure to sexual activity, led to promiscuity and the losing of my virginity at 14. Surely now, the seed began to take root, and I held onto the feeling that was growing on the inside of me for many years. The seed of promiscuity toward women began to blossom at the age of 17, with a young woman who was supposed to be my best friend. Strangely, my feelings and attraction toward her felt like the feeling I

would feel toward a man I was interested in. I thought it was a good idea to tell my mom, and hopefully, she would be able to give me some kind of explanation as to why I was feeling those emotions toward another female. I told my mom, who was a God-fearing woman, and she told me she does not agree with that and it goes against what we believe. The tone in which my mom replied, screaming nothing but pure disappointment and disbelief, left me in emotional confusion where my only response was, “This is how I feel! Help me understand!” Clearly, no one around me could help me understand or navigate my feelings. Growing up in Barbados, no one dealt with the behaviors of same-sex attraction in a healthy way. The response was usually negative, whether it came from family, friends, or the church community. All they knew was that it was wrong, but no one ever explained why. Therefore, I took matters into my own hands to find answers about same-sex attraction by searching the Bible and asking God a series of questions.

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“Lord, you are love, and I am in love, so how is this wrong?” “Lord, it feels wrong, but it feels right.” “Lord Jesus, you died for our sins, so as long as I ask for forgiveness, I’m good, right?” I was so confused. I thought if I had sex with a female, it would kill my curiosity, and I would recommit my life to Christ and live out my God-given purpose. Boy, was I wrong! By the age of 24, I had already experienced numerous relationships with women, one I was willing to go to hell for, literally, but one day I had a dream of God yelling, “You need to stop this!” I knew at that point it was time to run for my life. I started going to church, praying, and worshiping consistently, but that wasn’t enough because I was backsliding and repenting a lot. During this time, I began to pray for deliverance for my girlfriend. I would tell her how guilty I felt after our sexual encounters, and eventually, I began to see a change in our behavior toward each other. I suggested that we need therapy for help, so we stop living this non-fulfilling rollercoaster of a life. This life hindered me from pursuing my purpose. This young lady finally told me we should go to counseling, but this time we had broken up, and she started dating a man. It was the hardest soul-tie and deliverance I ever asked God to be freed from. It took us not talking for a long time while going

to therapy, staying consistent and with my relationship with God, having wise counsel and accountability to help me when temptation showed up. My therapist was a woman of God, and that was a gift from God; she never threw the Bible at me, but the way God orchestrated her gift to help me, I knew it was God, and this time I was going do the work to be finally free to passionately pursue the purpose God had planned for my life. This year makes five years of freedom, five years of consistently pursuing my purpose. It has not been easy, but I was determined to be all that God has called me to be. From being in the military to joining a nursing program to successfully finishing hair school. Today, I am a successful master stylist and an online vegan nutritionist helping men and women create generational health by providing courses, training, and meal guides so they can fulfill their destiny. Here’s a bonus blessing, my ex-girlfriend, who I was willing to go to hell for, is happily married to a man and is about to celebrate her three-year anniversary. I had the pleasure of being the stylist for her and her matron of honor and celebrating with her at the wedding. We have been good friends for three years only by the grace of God.

REDEEMED AND FREED

What does being FREED mean to you? Breaking every barrier I face to fully live out my purpose. What are you FREED from? I am FREED from homosexuality and promiscuity.

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F R E E D M E R C H . C O M

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Michelle L. Early I G : @ G o d H a p p e n e d T o ME G o d H a p p e n e d T o ME . c o m

A FREED Testimony

I did not know at the time that God was writing my testimony.

As I laid on that bed, confessing to my mother everything that my brother had done, I did not know that God was still writing the words to His story in my life and that these words would set me free. What is a testimony? A testimony is simply our personal story of God. Whether it is God’s deliverance, salvation, mercy, grace, etc., a testimony is our story of God showing up and working wonders in our lives. It does not have to be elaborate or similar to that of others; it just has to be ours. Also, we do not just get one testimony, and then that is it for the rest of our lives. As we live, God continues to write the words to various testimonies that we must share. Lastly, our testimonies are not for us; they are for others. Like the stories of the Bible, our stories of God are meant to be shared with others for encouragement and perpetual proof that our God is real and ever-present. My first testimony- my first story of God- began long before I was born. It began long before I can even quantify, and it did not begin with me. God knew long before my ancestors were born that He would use my life in this specific way. No shade to God, but I wish He would have let me in on how difficult my story of Him would be. Maybe I could have prepared, maybe I could have braced myself, or maybe I could have run far away. I guess it is best that He did not tell me. FREED MAGAZINE 28

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I am a survivor of childhood rape and molestation. I apologize for just blurting that out, but there is no right way or time to say that someone stole my innocence and voice in my youth. There is no appropriate way to say that the sibling who was tasked to care for me chose to violate the trust that was placed in him. There is no politically correct way to say that my first story of God came from surviving something where I wanted to take my life. All I can say is that every part of me thought my first story was going to be my last story, but God… I remember going to the church houses when I was a child and watching all the people shout and cry and praise this Jesus. I had heard His name in my home a couple of times, but I did not really know Him for myself. I remember after confessing to my mom, she sent me to church heavily, believing that simply being in the building would free me. She was right, but she was also wrong; bless her heart. As I sit here today, teacup in one hand and fingers hovered over the keyboard, I reflect on the goodness of our God. The things that happened to me in my youth were despicable, and I often prayed for God to take my life. Oftentimes, I tried to help Him with that request when I thought He was too busy to hear me. I did not want to feel the pains of this Earth, and each time He spoke to my heart, “My child, you are FREED from that, too.” I can recall countless testimonies of God’s impact on my life, far more than I can state here. The truth is, as I live, God continues to write the words of my testimonies. One thing that I know, and two things are certain; God is intentional. Every tear that we shed, every battle that we overcome, all has a purpose in His kingdom. He is divine, and everything works together for His good (Romans 8:28). The greatest testimony of my life is that though sin, death, and despair wanted me, God saved me. I would never encourage you to just “grin and bear” what you are facing. Depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues are real, and we must never dismiss their existence and effect on our lives. Help is readily available, and I wholeheartedly urge you to seek it if needed. However, today I pray with you and lovingly encourage you to sit with our Abba. The beauty of our continued time with Him is that He hears our words/cries and responds by sending His Holy Spirit to comfort us in our time of need. As we face trials, we can hold His hand tighter and allow Him to carry us through whatever we may be facing. Beloved, whatever the specific words of your testimony may be, know this- it is a story of God, and He has set us free (John 8:36). And because of that, it is a FREED testimony. What does being FREED mean to you? It means that I am no longer bound to the things/ways/ideals that once held me. In Christ, I have life and liberty. What are you FREED from? I am FREED from depression and anxiety. I am FREED from the pressure of conformity. I am FREED from my own limitations.

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d e e F rF ISSUE VI

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Tamara South I G : @ s i m p ly _ t _ n i c o l e Twitter: TamaraSouth1 s i m p ly t n i c o l e . c o m

God

Saved me From Myself

Suicide in the United States is ranked third for young people aged 15 to 19. There is one suicide every 15.2 seconds. I am a suicide survivor. I have decided to tell my testimony to encourage someone who may not be feeling like there is hope in life. I want to let you know that God has you here for a purpose. I pray that you are inspired by my testimony, and that you choose to live and not die! I am 39 years old, and I was raised in the Bronx. I received my bachelor’s degree from Binghamton University and my master’s degree from New York University. Growing up, I lived with my mom, who died when I was six years old. After my mom died, I lived with my grandmother, but I had a hard time adjusting to life. I believed I was the reason my mother died, and if I was never born, she would have lived. I got baptized, for I loved God, and I understood his power, but I was still struggling with suicide. I made many attempts, my last attempt was in graduate school. My boyfriend – now husband – had no way of being able to reach out to help me. All he knew was that he loved me and wanted to see me overcome this. I started to feel a disconnection in church; I felt that no one was going through anything close to what I was going through, so I felt even more alienated and lost.

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One night my boyfriend and I were walking to my college dorm, and something told me to run into oncoming traffic, and I started to run into the street. My boyfriend pulled me back and said, “What is wrong with you? I love you, but you have to stop behaving like this.” I was embarrassed and ashamed as I walked back to my dorm alone. I went upstairs to my room on the 13th floor. I looked out of the window, and as I looked down, it seemed as though if I jumped, I would not get hurt. As I stepped onto the ledge, I heard a voice say, “STOP!” I cried out to God to help me because I couldn’t take it anymore. From that moment, I never wanted to commit suicide again. Satan used many tricks and devices to get me to that place of anger, depression, suicide, and low self-esteem. Satan will take a negative situation and make it more negative, but God will take a negative situation and turn it around for good. God has called all of us to be saved; He loves his children. The issue that is holding you back is also stopping your relationship with Christ. God wants you to be happy, prosperous, joyful, contentious, and most importantly, he wants you to feel loved. I thank God for restoration. I learned that God does not make mistakes. His promises are true and just. Our flesh cannot see past the pain, but if we remember God’s word, we will live victoriously.

What does being FREED mean to you?

Being FREED means you are no longer bound to the enemy's lies, but you are free to be who God calls you to be. What are you FREED from?

I am FREED from suicide and low self-esteem.

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Photographer: Polina Tankilevitch

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WHAT DOES BEING FREED MEAN TO YOU? FREED means being the real you. The authentic you that you become after all the life experiences that lead you to the version of yourself that makes you happy and comfortable in your own skin. The freed version of you that doesn’t need permission to just be who you want to be. -Maria Montalvo (IG: @Somethin_aboutmari)

Being FREED to me means being saturated in God’s grace. To the point that I am no longer drowning in an ocean of doubt feeling as if God is so far above me, and instead allowing my insecurities to drown. So I will continue to trust God and remember that no matter how loud doubt may try to become, and although sometimes it feels as if I am drowning in the deepest ocean, I will open my mouth with God’s word so I can breathe again. -Areva Neely (IG: @Areva_denise)

To me FREED means that the chains are broken. That I can chose joy and believe that God has good plans for me. It means that I’m living at peace and being obedient. –Evonne Heredia (IG: @hey_evonne)

FREED to me means "living a purpose driven life." -Marian Adejokun (IG: @ mariana1991)

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Being freed to me means finally breaking free from society's hold on my consciousness by being myself, expressing myself, and loving myself. -Patrice Brown (IG: @modernlyethnic)

FREED means I'm no longer a slave to sin. My Savior came to earth and suffered the humiliation and pain of the cross to bear my iniquities. The past is gone, I no longer cater to the flesh. I am a child of God. I'm free to love all people, I'm free to be thankful, live a life of joy, and I have access to my father through my Savior anytime. I'm free from worry, anxiety, and fear when my mind is stayed on Him. -Sharon Simms

Being FREED, to me, means that I now have the CHOICE to move forward, to truly live, to have peace like never before and to be who God wants me to be. -Abeo Gervais-Alexander (IG: @abeo_isoke)

FREED is a place I can freely express myself. That being said I would love to be a part of such a community, that helps each of us from different walks of life showcase our creative side. –Aarti Tewari (IG: @_curses_in_cursive_)

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Tessa Hopman IG: @Thevinedressernz thevinedresser.com

Looking for Love Until it Found me Have you ever felt condemned or judged before? Let me tell you, my friend… That's not how Jesus sees you! When I moved to America for my last year of high school, I was broken. I grew up in a household where I was made to feel too much and not enough at the same time. The sad thing is my parents didn't even do it on purpose! My dad was a workaholic, choosing work over his family, and my mom left when I was six, not realizing that she wasn't just leaving my workaholic dad; she was leaving me too. As a result, I went looking for love in all the wrong places. I started going out a lot, drinking, getting into bed with everyone who showed me any sort of attention, which I mistakenly took for love. When I started my senior year in Mobile, Alabama, I was dragging all the past mistakes and unresolved hurt with me. When I gave my life to Jesus, I did so because He loved me unconditionally and did not even see my sins. He saw me as pure and righteous – a child of God.

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However, when humans come in, mistakes are made. So, this unconditional, nonjudgemental love I received from my saviour was not the attitude I received from the church. I was met with silent judgment because of my still prevalent and obvious worldly behaviour and felt condemned for my sins, even though the Bible tells me they have been forgiven and forgotten by God. Just like my parents, they didn't even do it on purpose! They had every good intention; they were just going at it the wrong way. And maybe, like me, you have been hurt, lost faith, or even moved away from God altogether because of this. I pray my story today will encourage you, that's not God! He showed me over the next 14 years how much He loves me, that He has good plans for me, that He is always with me, and that He is not angry with me, nor does He condemn me. It is in that knowledge I started changing from the inside out because of my Father's love for me, and the chains of sin and bondage started to break off. When I changed my focus from my imperfect self and from my sin to Jesus and His perfect acceptance, love, and plan for me, everything changed.

What does being FREED mean to you? Knowing that I am not perfect and don't have to be. Despite not being perfect, I am still loved unconditionally. What are you FREED from? Guilt and shame, holding me back from who I was created to be and the purpose set before me. Free from trying to carry the weight of the world on my own. For God says, “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.”

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Y as m i n E l N ag gar The artist Instagram: @asmen.hassan69 Twitter: @yasmin_naggar

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Where do you find inspiration? I find my inspiration on Instagram. What projects are you currently working on? I am currently working on a new oil painting.

Yasmin ElNaggar | Instagram: @asmen.hassan69

What does being FREED or freedom look like to you? I believe freedom is ridding off all the stress.

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IG: @vrosemusic Twitter: vrosemusic fa c e b o o k . c o m / v r o s e m u s i c Photography by Jessy Colossus | Haus of Londyn | IG: @haus.of.londyn | FB: Haus.of.Londyn FREED MAGAZINE 42

V Rose tHE EVolution of an artists ISSUE VI

Born and bred in Northern California, V. Rose is best known for her soulful R&B vocal chops, along with her Bay Area writing style, much like artists H.E.R and Kehlani. V. Rose has been a driving force in the Christian music scene for the past decade, with four studio albums under her belt and three record deals. The Sacramento native has earned her performance stripes at festivals, camps, and conferences in over 12 countries across the globe. Now, after 10 years of collaborations alongside artists like KB, Derek Minor, Bizzle, Wande, and Flame, V. Rose has carved out a niche all on her own, planting her flag where few female artists have dared to go.   With 4.5 million plays on Apple Music and over 45,000 monthly listeners on Spotify – as well as over 50,000 followers on Instagram (@ vrosemusic) – V. Rose has proven to be a fan favorite artist. Previous albums have charted as high as number 15 on Billboard’s HeatSeekers chart and No. 28 on Billboard Christian, granting V. Rose notoriety and space to grow. With her fan base now being roughly 65 percent millennial women, according to Spotify insights, V. Rose sets out to pull back the curtain on her love life in hopes to empower her audience to grow in areas of self-love and emotional intelligence. She has released her new single, “Better Things To Do,” on May 14, 2021, and plans to back it up with a full EP titled “BABE” by mid-summer.

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Photography by Jessy Colossus | Haus of Londyn | IG: @haus.of.londyn | FB: Haus.of.Londyn

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V. Where do you find creative inspiration, and who inspires you the most?

Most of the time, I search for music that gives me the feeling I'm looking for. A track that gives a vibe that matches the words I want to write or the story I want to tell. I would say that right now; I am inspired by the producer within me that I aspire to become. I can hear someone say, "Spoken like a true artist!" but that's the best way to explain my current creative headspace. I'm constantly pushing myself to try things, and I realize that I want to write more songs that give room to sing beautiful melodies. I love R&B right now, and part of me always had while I was coming up on Gospel music. I am very inspired by the sound that is current, and I feel right at home with it. My hope is to be part of a bigger conversation being held by so many amazing female vocalists and songwriters in R&B. That inspires me to want to be my most authentic self, share the real conversations I have, and make music that gives my account of the life and walking with Christ through it. I hope that it makes people curious about the God I serve. What prompted you to get into the music industry?

I started singing in the church choir when I was little, and I knew pretty early on that music was going to be my life. God spoke to me when I was six and told me I was going to make an album and travel the world telling people about Jesus. I love to tell this to young kids because I began believing God when He spoke to me at six years old, and everything He said to me has happened, and I never gave up believing in what God showed me. I broke into the industry side when I was 21 years old, and I was featured on a huge single titled 'Surrender' by FLAME. That song was the best song I had ever written at the time, and it changed my life and ended up landing me my first industry record deal with Clear Sight Music in 2011. That is where I released my first two industry albums, 'V. Rose’ (2011, Freshmen, (self-titled)), and 'Forever After' (2014, Sophomore).

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Where do you find creative inspiration, and who inspires you the most? Most of the time, I search for music that gives me the feeling I'm looking for. A track that gives a vibe that matches the words I want to write or the story I want to tell. I would say that right now; I am inspired by the producer within me that I aspire to become. I can hear someone say, "Spoken like a true artist!" but that's the best way to explain my current creative headspace. I'm constantly pushing myself to try things, and I realize that I want to write more songs that give room to sing beautiful melodies. I love R&B right now, and part of me always had while I was coming up on Gospel music. I am very inspired by the sound that is current, and I feel right at home with it. My hope is to be part of a bigger conversation being held by so many amazing female vocalists and songwriters in R&B. That inspires me to want to be my most authentic self, share the real conversations I have, and make music that gives my account of the life and walking with Christ through it. I hope that it makes people curious about the God I serve.

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What prompted you to get into the music industry? I started singing in the church choir when I was little, and I knew pretty early on that music was going to be my life. God spoke to me when I was six and told me I was going to make an album and travel the world telling people about Jesus. I love to tell this to young kids because I began believing God when He spoke to me at six years old, and everything He said to me has happened, and I never gave up believing in what God showed me. I broke into the industry side when I was 21 years old, and I was featured on a huge single titled 'Surrender' by FLAME. That song was the best song I had ever written at the time, and it changed my life and ended up landing me my first industry record deal with Clear Sight Music in 2011. That is where I released my first two industry albums, 'V. Rose’ (2011, Freshmen, (self-titled)), and 'Forever After'

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Photography by Jessy Colossus Haus of Londyn | IG: @haus.of.londyn | FB: Haus.of.Londyn

ISSUE VI

What's your

favorite

project to date and why? M

y favorite project I ever made is my last full album titled, 'Forth.' That was the first album I worked on by myself in over 15 years. I promised myself before I started it that I would let the album happen naturally. If I began to write a verse and I heard rap, then I gave it a try, and if it was dope, then I kept it. I messed around a lot with the post-production and vocal arranging, and the content came so effortlessly. I had a lot to say and felt free to just express myself for once and give the listeners a peek into my heart and mind. ‘Forth’ was like an audio journal for me. I made the songs my heart wanted to make, and I love every single one of those songs. I can't say the same for all my albums, to be honest.

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t s e g g i b e v i t a e cr ? e r u l i fa Photography by Jessy Colossus | Haus of Londyn | IG: @haus.of.londyn | FB: Haus.of.Londyn FREED MAGAZINE 50

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Can you share a testimony of how God came through in any area of your life? God has shown me that He is always here. Scripture tells us in James 1:2 that we are to "count it all joy" when we "meet trials of various kinds." I love this question! Even THAT is for our own good because when we rejoice, we are telling My biggest creative failure is any time I don't our physical body to celebrate what it cannot otherwise comprehend. follow my gut. We are sending a signal that says, "I know this is painful, but we need to Sometimes you canthat invest much time into a song, you get believe and have faith this so pain means God, Himself is or making us a feature you think is going to take the song up, and it doesn't stronger at this moment by the very testing of our faith in Him.” I have worktoout, like moments it changesorthe song. Theown biggest failure learned restorinyou the feel craziest trials of my life because has realize been ignoring decisions the ‘yes’ I now that Godmaking is goingthe toobvious come through. Hebecause is here with me crowdthe is testing, so loud.and I hope stopped making this mistake, and I through that I've changed everything.

think ultimately that is why I made my last album alone. To be able to get back to what made me fall in love with music in the first place, I had to make music by myself again. Just me and the Holy Spirit, making songs in my room like when I was 15 years old, working on my first unofficial album, 'As Herself.' The coolest difference now is that I did a small tour and invested everything. I walked away into all new gear, and I set up a home studio for the first time in my life, and that's when I made the best music I ever had. God is faithful no matter the creative failures, and He really will work it out for your good anyway.

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I would say make a whole project; at least 11 songs. Try different styles that you like and pull from your musical influences, but never do something that doesn't feel natural to you. Be yourself, down to the tone of your voice and the way you form your words. After this project,you will have a way better idea of the direction you want to head in musically.

Photography by Jessy Colossus | Haus of Londyn | IG: @haus.of.londyn | FB: Haus.of.Londyn FREED MAGAZINE 53

R G

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E S

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I own a record label by the name of Indie West Music Group [@indiewestmg], where we have signed an insanely talented R&B duo named Lundi. You will LOVE their sound, and when you look them up, you will love their heart even more. [IG: @wearelundi].

I just released a new song called "Better Things To Do," plus a new visual I edited myself to go along with it. You can find the link to that on my Instagram bio @vrosemusic or search it on YouTube at #ARoseLensProduction.

I have an art page on Instagram called @pennedbyv, where you can check out some of the artwork I have made as a graphic designer and a digital illustrator. This includes the artwork to my latest album titled, 'Forth' and my latest singlecover-art for 'Better Things To Do.'

I'm getting ready to travel to South Africa for the first time ever in a few weeks to share the Gospel at high schools and colleges from Cape Town to Johannesburg.

My song, iSurrender, went viral on TikTok and inspired me to want to shoot a video for it. I plan to drop it once the song reaches a million streams on Spotify alone. Its current stream count is 988,452 streams. Whenever people love a song so much, it makes me want to do more with it.

6 7

I am moving to Atlanta, Georgia, in a few weeks, and I am so excited to live in a big city, having been mostly a country girl my whole life.

I hope to teach songwriting and vocal arranging in the next decade. I want to help develop musical artists by assessing their strengths and helping them attain resources to strengthen their weaknesses. This is also why I started Indie West MG; to educate new, talented artists on the music industry and how to navigate it on their own.

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I love to read the Bible by character or author, and I have found that doing so made me a curious reader. I find myself naturally looking for external resources to aid in my understanding, and I find it easier to get an understanding when you can take your time consistently reading each story allowing time to go by. You can meditate on the word, take questions to God in prayer, and allow the Holy Spirit to respond to your questions, all while continuing to come back to the same stories day after day until you get an understanding from the Lord.

Some of my favorite Christian books I have ever read are The Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan, Understanding The Purpose and Power Of Women by Myles Munroe, The Grand Weaver by Ravi Zacharias, and The Screw-tape Letters by C.S. Lewis. My friends FLAME and D.A. TRUTH have an amazing podcast I listen to faithfully called "Complicated-Ish." A must podcast to check out; you will thank me later. (IG: @flame314 @datruthonduty)

The last random thing that I hope anyone reading this far will know is that right now, at this moment, I am praying for you. Jesus is so in love with you; His spirit is here on Earth to help us, and you are not alone. Jesus spoke the following passage in Matthew Chapter 11, and I want to conclude by encouraging you with His words. Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." "Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." "For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

IG: @vrosemusic Twitter: vrosemusic fa c e b o o k . c o m / v r o s e m u s i c

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B Photography by Jessy Colossus | Haus of Londyn | IG: @haus.of.londyn | FB: Haus.of.Londyn

eing FREED means trusting in the Lord with all my heart so that everything I desire is filtered through the approval of my heavenly father. By trusting in Him with all my heart, I am FREED from worry or fear. Being FREED is a lifelong decision that you make every time you choose to put on the mind of Christ, the mind that is not like our own and the mind that informs the body we are fellow citizens as believers in Christ Jesus. Lastly, being FREED means surrendering your existence to God, acknowledging Him for everything that you do, and understanding that those are the exact same thing.

-V. Rose

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K at i a S. T ay lor The artist IG: @kcatiacreoleart Twitter: kcatiacreoleart kcatiacreoleart.com

y style is quite eclectic, just like Creole. I started with illustration as a child. Today I favor oil painting. People who have purchased my work have this to say about my style: "A French Creole Gauguin with a blend of realism, expressionism, illustration, painterly approach, and Naive Art." My art must be positive, beautiful, and magical. There is no need to spread more negativity in this world. We get our daily dose. I aim to touch people's hearts with a hint of fantasy to lift their spirits.

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Where do you find inspiration? I find inspiration through the ocean, Creole traditions, Jazz, Blues, Gospel, and African American traditions, but mostly through faith.

What projects are you currently working on? At this time, I have started working on a floral series. It will be all about hope. My mother is currently ill, and the situation is quite complicated. My paintings are prayers.

What does being FREED or freedom look like to you? "Freed," "Freedom,” my response would require a full essay. Freedom is having inner peace. I will be glad to develop my answer. Just send me an email, or we can set up a virtual conference to meet in person. Thank you for this opportunity from the bottom of my heart. Have a blessed day. Mille étoiles... (Thousands of stars) KCatia.

What would you like our community to know about you? I was born French and grew up in Paris, France. I'm a woman of colour with a richly diverse background. My name is Katia S. Taylor, but I go by KCatia. For me, art is fantasy, a parade of colours, love... It transforms ugliness, extracting its beauty! The artist is a Grand Maestro, a medium of emotions!

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Models: @Alannofficial @kweenklarke @tee_chosee Photographer: @sothrowedvisuals Makeup/unreleased brand: @opulencebeauté

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"COSIGNEDBYGOD IS SIMPLISTIC STREETWEAR FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD." CosignedByGod is a Premium Christian Lifestyle Brand centered around God and God's people. CosignedByGod is a way of living in your truth without secular point of views. CosignedByGod is Kingdom approval and Kingdom credentials only. God is everything we need in order to live this life intentionally for him. We no longer have to rely on our own standards, because the standard of God is far beyond any lifestyle we could ever imagine. The world will never validate your existence, because God has already paved the way for some of your greatest blessings to find you. God's approval is nobody’s denial. When God says yes, nobody can reject your plans. Your existence is a reflection of God, and God has already Cosigned your future. Your whole life is CosignedByGod®!

IG: @COSIGNEDXGOD

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Shakera Bratten IG: @shakera0503 IG: @livingoutforjesus livingoutforjesus.com

I am Taking it Back

Where did you meet Jesus? Where did you come face to face with Him? When did you hit rock bottom and realize that the only way up from here was to call on Jesus? My rock bottom was my separation that led to my divorce. A separation happened during my second pregnancy. A separation that truly made me come face to face with a reality that I never wanted.

going on isn’t your fault just as much as it is his?”

I knew then that I needed God in a new way. I needed Him to fix me and my marriage. I needed Him to make everything okay. I wanted Him to give me a second chance at being a wife that He would be proud of. So, from that point on, I threw myself into God. I read my Bible all the time, read Christian I never expected to be a single mother. I never books regarding marriage, joined marriage expected to have to move in with my mother ministries that talked about marriage as a married woman with children. I never restoration. If church was open, I was there. expected to see my then-husband on social In the presence of God was the only time I media with another woman, saying that he felt like I was going to be okay and that my loved her and wanted to marry her while husband would come back to me. he was married to me. “How did I get here, Lord? I thought you loved me? How could When I decided to stand for my marriage you let this happen? I grew up in church my and the salvation of my husband, the enemy whole life.” became my worst nightmare, literally. Every time that I thought we were making progress That opened the door to a response that I in our marriage, I received news that would wasn’t ready for. He said to me, “You didn’t take us three steps back – one of those ask Me about this man before you married instances being my husband expecting a him, now you want me to fix it? Better yet, child. There were a few others as well. what makes you think that some of what is FREED MAGAZINE 66

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was so depressed and heartbroken. One day in my prayer time, God told me there would be restoration. That changed everything for me. I was so sure of what God was doing in my marriage, regardless of how it looked on the outside. I was so firm in this that people thought I was crazy for wanting my husband back after all that had transpired. I didn’t care. I had God on my side, and that is all that mattered. In this time, I learned how to seek God in a new way. I learned how to pray and seek God for His direction. I learned how to have peace in His instruction and tune out the world. I learned that He was with me no matter what. I learned that He was my provider. I learned that He was who He says He is. When my divorce became final, I was so confused. “God, You said You were going to restore my marriage. What happened? This wasn’t the way this was supposed to go.” God said to me, “When I said restoration, I was talking about you, not your marriage.” I thought God was going to restore my marriage, and that’s what I focused on. This was my Romans 8:28 moment. Everything that happened to me in those previous years started happening for me instead. I gained so much from that time that no other experience could have given me. I would not have the relationship with God that I have at this moment if it wasn’t for that time in my life. Now, don’t get me wrong, this time in my life led to rejection and abandonment issues that I am still working through today. It led to me going after all the wrong men. It left me heartbroken more times than I can count. I so desperately wanted that time of restoration that God promised me. I wondered if I would ever be fulfilled. I felt like God had forgotten about me. I knew I had to surrender my plans and my timeline to God if I wanted a different outcome than the one I had before. I knew I had to focus on God more than my desires. Once I did this, I met the start of my restoration, my God-ordained husband. That ordained part makes all the difference. God has used this marriage to show me His heart for me. He has given me the blessing of a man who loves me as Christ loves the church. That kind of love draws me closer to Christ every day. God has shown me that my separation, my divorce, and being a single mother prepared me for my right now.

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T aking

B ack

continued

Now, I am a wife, a mother to four boys, a blogger, a writer, and a podcaster. I am a vessel that God has chosen to use to encourage other women to live in their God-given potential – giving up fears and insecurities in exchange for the blood of Christ – showing them that God didn’t create them to live a mediocre life but a life of abundance. That a woman is worth far more than rubies, meaning her worth is in God and not any relationship or circumstance. It is my heart’s desire for women to be set free from the prison that the enemy has placed them in. Jesus’ death has already set us free, and we need to live in that freedom. We need to root ourselves in His truth. He will never let the enemy have the last say over our lives. He makes all things new in His time. Trust in His restoration power. Trust in the power that sets you free.

What does being FREED mean to you? Being FREED to me means operating in the fullness and power of the blood of Jesus Christ. It means that, as believers, we are free from anything the enemy tries to use to keep us stuck. It means that we take the things that have power over us, and we submit them to the power of God. What are you FREED from? I am FREED from fear and rejection. I am freed from the tactics of the enemy to keep me silent. I am freed from thinking that I am not enough and that I am not qualified to empower other women to live in their God-given freedom.

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S o i f th e s o n (J es u s ) s et s yo u f r e e , y o u ar e t r u ly f r e e . John 8:36

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Valerie Swakamisa

A New Name

IG: @valerieswaks

The old me was bound and broken. Confused and fearful. The old me couldn't care less. Until Christ met me in my mess. Made me see beyond myself and see the power of his cross. He crossed out the old me and gave me a new name. Gave me a new name from SINNER to SAINT. Now I'm not trying to paint a perfect picture with this new name. Instead, I hope you would see a perfect saviour who sees past my imperfection and redeems me with his perfection. Through affliction, he stood in my place, and by grace, He's transforming me. Constantly changing the way I think, so I think the way He thinks. Becoming more like him, It's a process. A journey of constantly leaving the old behind. So, I don't rewind. The old has passed away, behold all things are made new. The power of sin has been broken. Nailed on the cross where Jesus crossed out, its hold on me. Made me a new creation. Gave me a fresh foundation. I'm so glad you are my vindication.

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E li sa Torr es R

IG: @el i s a . m . torre s el isa mtorre s . c o m

E T N PAI

Seeing Myself Through the Gaze of God “You are precious in my eyes and honored, and I love you.” – Isaiah 43:4

Throughout my first few months as a missionary, a dear friend of mine would often share that she had asked God for the grace to see herself the way He sees her: Full of beauty, radiant with joy, wonderfully made and rooted in humility with the eyes to see her own gifts and talents. Oftentimes, this struck me. It invited me to address the reality that I do not view myself with the loving gaze of God but with the harshness and criticism of the world. As my prayer life has continued, I have entered a deep season of healing in my heart. The Holy Spirit has invited me to think about a few questions very intentionally with the Lord: “How does the Lord see me?” “How has my view of myself been distorted over time?” “What gifts have God-given me that I have not fully embraced?” With the grace of God, I have begun to see my life with a newness anchored in reality. As an artist, it was only natural for me to bring this new sight into my work. It began with the process of continuous line sketching wherever the Spirit moved. As I became more comfortable with using myself as a subject in my work, I felt the Lord asking for more: More intentionality, more time, more of myself.

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Elisa Torres | IG: @elisa.m.torres | www.elisamtorres.com

Beginning to use me as the subject in my art has been uncomfortable and challenging – imagine staring at photos of yourself or looking into a mirror for hours at a time! But each time I would doubt if my work was “pretty enough” or “good enough,” I would be reminded of what the Lord tells us in scripture: “You are precious in my eyes and honored, and I love you.” – Isaiah 43:4 Regardless of how odd or challenging painting myself has been, it has also been incredibly rewarding. It has spiritually represented growth and healing within my heart. It has reminded me to challenge myself – not to fall into my own comfort zone or settle out of fear. Because no matter what the result is, I am precious in God’s eyes, and honored, and loved (Isaiah 43:4).

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Elisa Torres | IG: @elisa.m.torres | www.elisamtorres.com

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Theresa Emanuel IG: @p31virtues p31virtues.com

How God Used Loss for my Evolution I

believe in everlasting life and that my dad, who is absent from the body, is present with the Lord. Yet my dad’s absence from this earthly realm set me off-kilter for some time. I felt as though I was in a fog. Even though I was checking the to-do boxes, I wasn’t efficient or as effective as I wanted to be. I used food as a crutch and failed to treat my body in the way of befitting the house of the Lord. As the New Year approached, I was determined to get myself together. I created a vision board with the theme of giving thanks and praise and enjoying my blessings. I started the year with an elimination diet. I lost weight and got the sense of control I was seeking. I was successful in my work, my finances, and my personal life. It was an excellent year. It was so wonderful that it was hard for me to recognize and appreciate the many ways that I evolved in the years that followed. It wasn’t until five years later when a Facebook post prompted me to look back and evaluate the progress I had made. It was astonishing. How could the year after my dad’s passing have been my best year when I had come so far since then? In truth, it wasn’t my best year; instead, it was a great year up to that time. I had continued to evolve but failed to recognize and celebrate the changes.

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Significant contrast made it easy to see and appreciate the evolution between the year of my dad's death and the year after. It was a contrast that I helped create by the change in my focus and mindset. I shifted my thinking from the empty space left by my dad’s departure to the grander picture of all that God has provided for me to enjoy. Yet, when life slowed down or became a bit less dramatic, I failed to give fair due to my continued advancement from glory to glory. God did not intend our path to be a straight line. Sometimes the ups and downs can make it appear that the process isn't happening. We need to take time out for selfassessment. If we’re not happy with our direction, we can heed the course correction of the Holy Spirit and pivot. We should take time to give thanks to God for the progress we’ve made. Thanks to Him, there are seasons we go through in life, and we evolve.

What does being FREED mean to you? Being FREED means everything to me. I'm not alone or forgotten. I'm safe and cared for no matter the circumstance. What are you FREED from? Fear. Lack. Death. Disease.

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Photography by @rayjonestv

Camille Jones IG: @blackmustardseed b m s c l o t h i n gb r a n d . c o m

L eaving

Mustard Seed Faith

the

C omforts

C orporate L ife D uring COVID

In Matthew 17:20, Jesus spoke of the mighty mustard seed: “…If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove, and nothing shall be impossible unto you.” Faith is the seed. When planted, it produces a cycle of kingdom building and expansion through ministering to others and uniting faith. My husband and I are on a mission to plant seeds of faith and move mountains, all for the glory and kingdom of God. Guided by God and the wisdom of the mustard seed analogies, my husband and I quit our jobs in the middle of the pandemic. It wasn’t easy, but our faith in His greater plan led us to persevere as we work to help others and spread his teachings through our businesses. We both came from humble beginnings. I was born and raised in Gary, Indiana, which is right next to Chicago. Most people consider it the hood. It’s a desolate place – no Walmart, no movie theater, very few grocery stores. But that's just the story of every hood in America. My husband spent half his childhood in Guyana, South America, and moved to the D.C. area around age 10. He was a skater, and I was a hooper, but at our cores, we were both nerds and loved God. Our faith brought us together at Howard University as engineering students. After graduation, I got what I thought was my dream job at Boeing. I was working with robots – who doesn’t love robots? – and, on top of that, my husband worked at the same company. I thought surely this is what God wanted for us.

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But four years into the career I still enjoyed, and where we both prospered, my perception changed. During this time, I felt a calling. God was pushing me to explore a deeper relationship with Him by reading His word more and completing cycles of fasting. This was when I experienced two very vivid dreams that opened my eyes; dreams sent straight from God. The first dream happened in late 2018. I had a dream about starting a technology business. Together, we created Seed Technologies LLC; a company focused on mobile app development and smart gadgets. My husband is passionate about building a suite of Christian apps, such as a spiritual fasting app and angelology app, to help those in their Christian walk go deeper in understanding. Currently, these apps are available for Android download under the developer’s name AppsBySeed. But we will be expanding to iPhone in the future. Some months later, I dreamed about a black t-shirt. BLACK, BLACK, BLACK was scrawled on the front of the shirt. Following the dream, I awakened with the words to a Christian rap song repeatedly playing in my mind. The words to the melody were, “Black on black on black on black,” by Lecrae. Instantly, I knew that the combination of my dream and the song lyrics were an indication that I should create Christian apparel. Even though this was completely left field, I felt this was God’s calling for me. From there, Black Mustard Seed (BMS) apparel was born. To serve God’s will, BMS provides unique styles with bold patterns and

imagery with the same power and message of faith. BMS is a reflection of my faith but also reflects the Midwestern Street style and my husband’s skater background. My vision is to make Black Mustard Seed a signature look for streetwear without diluting God’s message. BMS apparel illustrates truth through visuals, connecting believers and nonbelievers by sparking conversations about faith. The mustard seed is important to us because Jesus uses the mustard seed to describe faith and the Kingdom of Heaven. In Matthew 13:31-32, Jesus told a parable: “…The kingdom of heaven is like to a grain of mustard seed, which a man took, and sowed in his field: Which indeed is the least of all seeds: but when it is grown, it is the greatest among herbs, and becometh a tree, so that the birds of the air come and lodge in the branches thereof.” Many theologians believe that the black mustard seed is the seed Jesus preached about. The black mustard plant, or Brassica Nigra, is described as an invasive plant that takes over the area where it’s planted. One seed can cause an overwhelming outbreak and change the landscape into a sea of mustard plants. These plants then intertwine and form strong thickets. Each plant can grow as high as 10 to 15 feet and are home to many birds. When planted in a field, the mustard seed creates a chain reaction of rapid contagious growth and unity. When you hear “super bloom,” that’s what mustard plants do, and it serves as great symbology for believers spreading God’s word.

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M ustard S eed

F aith

continued

Faith is the seed for the Kingdom of Heaven. When planted, faith grows and produces more seeds of faith that change the landscape. More plants grow and grab hold of each other, strengthening the group and forming a strong, rapidly growing ecosystem. The Kingdom of Heaven plants faith, grows faith, shares faith, and unites faith. BMS and Seed Technologies are ways for us to plant seeds into the world so God’s message can bloom – change the environment. With our companies, we have a goal of giving $100 million to help those in need and spread the glory of God. We aim for the stars and give God the glory every step of the way, even if we only hit the moon. Though our path hasn’t always been clear, we trust in God to guide us. We are kingdom builders for Christ, people with the gift of giving and the talent and skill to build businesses that fund Christian organizations and missions. Once I opened myself up to God and let Him lead me, it became clear that fulfilling our mission would not be possible working at corporate jobs. God was leading us in a different direction. By faith, my husband and I quit our jobs in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic because this is a season of change and freedom. We now devote our time and skills solely to serving God.

What does being FREED mean to you? To be FREED is to be supported and lead by God. Knowing my needs are taken care of. I have the pleasure of living in and for Christ by the instruction of the Holy Spirit. It's not on me. All I must do is follow. What are you FREED from? I am freed from my own mind and destructive ways. I am freed from seeing the world through my limited eyes so I may see the world through the love and power of God.

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Photography by @rayjonestv

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Android

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Diamond Jones S enior W riter FREED MAGAZINE

FREED MAGAZINE ONLINE JOURNAL

Cancelled

Imagine a world in which everything you’ve ever done or ever said can be weaponized against you at any moment. An environment where just one thing from your past can destroy your reputation, your relationships, and your opportunities. Not much has to be imagined here because that’s the current climate we live in. It’s amazing what several million tweets and media coverage can accomplish. Jobs have been lost, deals revoked, advertisements pulled, and ties broken over words and actions (past and present). Now there’s something to be said for holding people accountable for inappropriate behavior and there are consequences that go along with that. But we’ve seen a major shift over the last few years from calling for accountability from others to calling for the complete cancellation of those we deem unworthy and unredeemable. But who are we as a society to make such a call?

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I’m reminded of a biblical example of cancel culture found in John 8. A woman found in the act of committing adultery was brought before Jesus. Her act was deemed so sinful that her cancellation would have called for her life, as the threat of being stoned to death was dangling before her. Yet, Jesus responded with the familiar words, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” (John 8:7, ESV). The mob who stood ready to pummel her to death dissipated with Jesus’ remark. Though it was the law that she should have been cancelled (stoned), literally to death, Jesus intercedes on her behalf. He deemed her worthy of grace and mercy. He saw her fit for forgiveness and redemption. Has Jesus not done the same for us? And if He can extend this grace and mercy to us, shouldn’t we as an extension of Him grant this same grace and mercy unto others? Again, that’s not to say that the principle of sowing and reaping is extinct. There is a need for accountability and at times that comes with consequences that may lead to people being cancelled. But our hearts in dealing with others should never be total annihilation. In John 8:10-11, Jesus said to this woman after the crowd dispersed, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” To which she responds in verse 11, “She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”” We should aim to operate like Christ who calls us out in love, shows us the right way, and offers us a path to redemption and restoration. Let us lovingly demonstrate to the world the right way through the example of our lives, and let us offer them grace and forgiveness so that they can go and sin no more.

J o i n t h e c o n v e r s at i o n o n o ur o n li ne j o ur n a l freedmagazine.com/journal

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Yolanda Lugo IG: @Stillsbyjojophotography

I was not Born to die

At 14 years old, life is just starting. High School, friends, and no “adult responsibilities.” I was dating a pretty popular kid in school, so I felt like I had made it! But why were thoughts of suicide such a reality? Why was walking into a street when cars were coming an invitation to “freedom?” With my arms raised high, hair flowing, how will this car hitting my body feel? Depression is real; it chased me and haunted me because it was my friend. I witnessed a family member try to commit suicide right in front of me, so I was in good company. This depression stood with me all through my teenage years and adulthood. No one knew but the mirror I looked at every night in silence. Adulthood came, and as my relationships failed, I turned to heavy pornography. One saved video turned into hundreds. How and at what point did it get so bad? How can it be? I grew up in church. I was doing well! I was happy. Those were the best 10 years of my life until I walked away. With a life of partying, drinking, and pornography, I figured, “This is life!” That was until I had a real encounter with Jesus Christ. I had never felt so loved in all my life. It was an encounter so strong that years later, I still cry at the very thought of worship. My gratitude and offering to Jesus are me! It's my entire heart. It’s the very thought of Him when I wake up; I smile because when I figured depression was my friend, Jesus revealed to me that it was a lie. God was my friend. He sustained me; He chose me! I wasn’t born to die! I was born to live! Live in freedom! Be in freedom and walk in the freedom and authority He gives us to set others free! Did you catch that? Through Jesus’ name, we get to set people free!

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My life was filled with broken places, terrible choices, and ugly truths. It’s also filled with a major comeback, peace in my soul, and grace that saved my life.

What does being FREED mean to you? Freely I have received, so freely I will give. What are you FREED from? Depression, suicide, mental abuse, shame, anger, lust, pornography, and self-pity.

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Photography by Pierre Charles

Monica Theophilus IG: @amomentwithmonica Twitter: @amoment_monica amomentwithmonicallc.com

Where I am now

Friday, May 20th, 2016, was the day life as I knew it came crashing down before me. That day I was given a chance at living a life of salvation, freedom, peace, joy, and abundance. I recall the pain of rejection when my then-boyfriend of three years explained he wanted to break up. We were having problems in our relationship because I wanted to make things right with God and quit fornicating, but he did not share the same convictions. I had accepted the responsibility for changing a man when that was not my job, but I still wanted to make things work. However, God had a different plan for me. When I came home from closing that chapter with my then-boyfriend, all I could do was share my broken prayers with God. I repented for fornicating, knowing I should do better and not doing so, for living double-minded and being lukewarm. Hours passed by, and I was still locked up in my bedroom, crying my heart out. Finally, after a while, I prayed the sinner's prayer and decided I would no longer be a puppet for the enemy. I would live for God even if it cost me everything. The following Sunday, I went to church to begin my journey of healing and deliverance. The Pastor prayed for me, and the presence of God was so rich that once again, all I could do was weep. That day God reminded me that He had cast all my sins to the sea of forgetfulness. When I looked in the mirror, I saw rejection, shame, guilt, and condemnation. He responded with love, and cherished, forgave, and accepted into the beloved. I was holding on to regret when God was showing me that He had better plans for me. Often all we can reflect on is our past and the mistakes we made, but God wants to make us whole and point us in a new direction of purpose. God is not looking for perfection; He is looking for our willingness to live for Him. He does not expect us to have it all together as soon as we say ‘yes’ to salvation. He needs us to make room for Him in our hearts so that He can take us through the process of healing, pruning, and refining. FREED MAGAZINE 86

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It was a challenging journey for me, but with God, I overcame. There were times I was tempted to give my ex-boyfriend another chance. To run from the pain of the process. To quit on the woman I was becoming with Christ. But I remained, even when I faced the trials of this world. In my process, God healed me from the wounds of rejection and grief I carried from the time I was a child. My father was not around for most of my life. He was in and out of prison, but when I turned 15, he changed his life around, and I was only given three years to grow a relationship with him. A month after I turned 18, he died of an enlarged heart. Although I wished for more time with him, I accepted he did the best he could and that my heavenly father had adopted me. Also, God renewed the mindset I had about myself. I had suffered from selfrejection until God’s unconditional love helped me see myself through His eyes. While building my relationship with Him, I studied scriptures on what He had to say about me. Each time I recited the words to myself, my heart transformed. God even dealt with my fear and turned it into faith. I always wanted to have control of my life because I feared the future. However, God reassured me He had perfect plans for me. Plans to give me hope and a future. Now, almost five years later, my life is

marked with the glory of God. He used me to create a blog and YouTube channel called Amomentwithmonica to equip, encourage and empower others through the word of God. I have written and published two books on healing and deliverance, and they are on major platforms such as Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Good Reads, and Google Play. I get to share my story with others on how choosing God delivered me from the hands of the enemy. I am no longer bound by fornication, rejection, selfhatred, fear, heartbreak, guilt, and shame. I am born again, a new creation in Christ. “Therefore, if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” – 2 Corinthians 5:17 KJV. My encouragement to those who read this is to choose God because He makes all things beautiful again. He can turn your sorrow and mourning into gladness. He can give you the garment of praise instead of the spirit of heaviness. He can uplift your soul and give you a life of meaning and purpose. No, it will not always be easy, but it is worth it. Even when you fall, He won’t turn you away. He will uphold you with His righteous right hand and deliver you from what tries to keep you down. Allow God to break the chains off your life so that you can walk in freedom. “If the Son, therefore, shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.” – John 8:36 KJV.

What does being FREED mean to you? It means being able to live a life of peace and purpose. What are you FREED from? I am freed from fornication, rejection, shame, guilt, and condemnation.

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HAUS OF LONDYN Natural light photographer who strives to document your legacy through photographs.

Instagram: @haus.of.londyn www.facebook.com/Haus.of.Londyn FREED MAGAZINE 88

T O V E D L A N O I T O V E D L A N O I T O V E D L A N O I T O V E D L A N O I T O V E D by

Kendra

anderson

IG: @ken_nicole.0 FREED MAGAZINE 90

THE QUARANTINE V

D E VO T I O NA L

Breathe in Life

INTRODUCTION

The book of Ezekiel contains a ton of hidden treasures and gems. It reveals many prophesies of destruction and promises of restoration that will occur in the land of Israel. However, as I read Ezekiel 37: 1-7 over and over again, I saw something unique within this passage. Instead, I see myself. I see God’s hand upon me as He guides me through the valleys that I find myself in time and time again. I see myself deep within the valley of bones, wondering if I have strayed too far from His hand that life can no longer reach me. “Son of man, can these bones live?” “Lord God, only you know.” That answer…only you know. If only my responses held that level of trust and assurance in our Creator. But, because our God is so merciful and gracious, we can be confident that even as we walk through the valley of death, God promises restoration for His children, even when our doubts have overshadowed His voice. For the next three days, we will explore how even though we identify ourselves with being in the trenches and valleys of death, God restores and redeems us even through the midst of resentment, anger and sorrow.

“I WILL GIVE YOU A NEW HEART AND PUT A NEW SPIRIT WITHIN YOU; I WILL REMOVE YOUR HEART OF STONE AND GIVE YOU A HEART OF FLESH.”

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EZEKIEL 36:26

DAY ONE The hand of the Lord was on me, and he brought me out by his Spirit and set me down in the middle of the valley; it was full of bones. He led me all around them. There were a great many of them on the surface of the valley, and they were very dry. Then he said to me, “Son of man, can these bones live?” I replied, “Lord God, only you know.” He said to me. “Prophesy concerning these bones and say to them: Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! This is what the Lord God says to these bones: I will cause breath to enter you and you will live. I will put tendons on you, make flesh grow on you, and cover you with skin. I will put breath in you so that you come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord. -Ezekiel 37: 1-6 It is so easy to have tunnel vision when in the valley of life. Whether you are experiencing defeat, heartache, pain, sorrow, confusion or even anger, our minds and hearts can be conditioned on focusing on the trenches that we seem to be constantly in. Spiritually, we become dry. We feel abandoned, forgotten or even unreachable as we sit in the trenches of what we call the hard times of life without spending time with our Heavenly Father. What we usually miss is that even in those seasons, God is with us. Not only is He with us, He can continue to lead us.

“The hand of the Lord was on me, and he brought me out by his Spirit and set me down in the middle of the valley; it was full of bones. He led me all around them.” Ezekiel 37:1-2 If we are being honest, we can forget that God could be allowing us to experience hard seasons in order to teach and mold us. Could it be that God brought you out of your comfort zone and into the valley of a spiritual warzone because He needed you, a prayer warrior to pray over dry bones? Could it be that God removed that person whom you trusted because He heard conversations and thoughts that you did not? Could it be that God took you out of the job because He knew it was going to go bankrupt and He was protecting you from being involved when it went down, all of this creating a valley that you are now in?

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When you walk in the Spirit, there is no valley deep enough that Gods hand cannot reach you. His hand will always be upon you, guiding you through the canyons of life and it is in those moments where God is closest to you. We are surrounded by a protection barrier when we walk with Christ.

“The hand of the Lord was on me” No matter what kind of valley you are in, or how dry your bones are, or how weary your soul is, the Lords hand will always be upon you if you continue to acknowledge that He is Lord. Rest in knowing that you can never be plucked from the Father’s hand. He is able to continue to be with you even during your darkest hour.

P R AY E R Lord. You are Worthy of all of my praise and adoration. You are a constant companion and help that will never turn your back on me. Lord, I thank you for being the same God yesterday, today and tomorrow. I thank you for your generosity and compassion. Heavenly Father, though I walk through the valleys of the shadows of death, I shall fear no evil, for You are with me. Remind me that Your presence can illuminate any darkness that would loom over me. Remind me that You have carried any and every burden that has been brought upon me. Remind me that You have won ALL the victories for me Lord and that through my battles, You are my shield. Thank you for your goodness Lord.

DAY 1 READINGS • PSALMS 107: 20 • EZEKIEL 36:26 • JOHN 10: 27-30

In Your precious name I pray, Amen.

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DAY TWO The hand of the Lord was on me, and he brought me out by his Spirit and set me down in the middle of the valley; it was full of bones. He led me all around them. There were a great many of them on the surface of the valley, and they were very dry. Then he said to me, “Son of man, can these bones live?” I replied, “Lord God, only you know.” He said to me. “Prophesy concerning these bones and say to them: Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! This is what the Lord Gods says to these bones: I will cause breath to enter you and you will live. I will put tendons on you, make flesh grow on you, and cover you with skin. I will put breath in you so that you come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord. -Ezekiel 37: 1-6 It is so often that we hear we are made new in Christ when we decide to surrender our lives completely to Jesus, and it is indeed true. Paul says in 2 Corinthians 5:17 that if anyone is in Christ, they are a new creation, the old self passing away and a new life beginning. We are reconciled with Christ, and we then become His children, His ambassadors. However, until we surrender our lives to Him, our bones are dry and we walk among the valley of bones. How great is it that we can still experience the breathe of God. When we read His word, we are filled with the Holy Spirit, entering our lungs. This passage is not only referring to those who have not yet given their lives over to Jesus, but I firmly believe this passage is a reminder to believers that we can still experience that breathe of life from God, over and over and over again. The excitement never stops with Jesus. We will never reach our limit of education when it comes to the Word of God. Reading His Word will always be applicable to our lives and will always breathe life onto whatever situation we are going through. Surrendering your life to Jesus is not a one and done experience, but instead, a life transforming, constantly encountering gift, given to us by our Heavenly Father. Though our life is but a vapor, there will be days when we will walk with dry bones. We will carry those dry bones with us, shouldering the burdens that we have yet to give over to Jesus. But, when we open the Word of God and read this letter that He has entrusted to us, called the Bible, we will live. We can rest in knowing that our dry bones can constantly be revived in Christ, holding onto the assurance that God can bring to life all dry bones no matter how long they have been withered with the weight of life.

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“I will put breath in you so that you come to life.” Ezekiel 37:6

P R AY E R Oh God. How precious I must be to You that You would allow me to experience Your glory over and over and over again. That You would want to share Your unconditional love with me through grace, compassion, and blessings upon blessings. Thank you for your goodness and faithfulness. Thank you for giving me this gift of life that You have entrusted to me. Thank you for your Word, that I am able to read it and meditate on it. Thank you that it is life changing and that it can breathe Life onto my situations, addictions, and struggles. I repent of my ways that do not glorify You. I ask for forgiveness of the times that I do not acknowledge who You are because of fear. Help me to fall in love with Your Word and not the things of this world, so that I may walk in step with You Heavenly Father.

DAY 2 READINGS • 2 CORINTHIANS 5:17 • PSALM 27:4 • 2 CORINTHIANS 3:17

In your Precious name I pray, Amen.

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DAY THREE The hand of the Lord was on me, and he brought me out by his Spirit and set me down in the middle of the valley; it was full of bones. He led me all around them. There were a great many of them on the surface of the valley, and they were very dry. Then he said to me, “Son of man, can these bones live?” I replied, “Lord God, only you know.” He said to me. “Prophesy concerning these bones and say to them: Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! This is what the Lord Gods says to these bones: I will cause breath to enter you and you will live. I will put tendons on you, make flesh grow on you, and cover you with skin. I will put breath in you so that you come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord. -Ezekiel 37: 1-6 Living in society today is not easy. We constantly have people, music, TV shows, friends, social media etc. who are influencing us and shaping our thoughts, most times without us even knowing we are being influenced. Though I know that reading the Bible and spending time with our Heavenly Father will keep us from being distracted, it can still be hard to stay consistent. Sometimes, it can even feel like reading His word will not change your circumstances, thoughts, or emotions, causing us to forget who God is…at least, that is how it can feel for me. However, aren’t we blessed that this gift God gave to us never grows old? That no matter how long before we come back to His word, it remains the same and holds the same power?

“Then you will know that I am the Lord.” Ezekiel 37:6 So often I forget who God is and the mighty power that He holds. I forget how He is literally the Creator of all things and how He has already overcome all my circumstances. When I go for too long without reading the Word, the world begins to dictate my thoughts. They begin to consume me with what the world says is right and wrong. I slowly begin to forget who He is and become too familiar with my old ways.

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That is why reading the Bible is so essential, even when you do not feel like it. Reading His word will remind you of God’s character. You will be reminded that you were buried with your sins and raised with Christ the moment you surrendered your life to Jesus! Reading His word will give you a reason to rejoice in the midst of pain and suffering! You will find the strength to push on when you are physically weak! Reading His word will give life to those dry bones, filling your lungs and soul with the Holy Spirit again. Isn’t it sweet? Picture your dry bones, brittle and withered, coming to life, strong and nourished. That is God. That is His word feeding your soul. My dear sisters and brothers, cling to His word. Pray to Him. Cry out to Him. Know that He is Lord so that your dry bones may come to life.

P R AY E R Jesus, This world can have a hold on me Lord. This world can influence me and mold my thoughts that are not of you. This world can cause me to become so tired Lord, so overwhelmed and so burdened by standards that are not from You. Teach me to rely on You Lord. Teach me to become dependent upon Your words as guidance. I want my bones to be brought back to life Lord. I want to feel renewed and at peace. For you tell us in your Word that you will provide peace for those who follow and seek after You. Give me peace Lord. Renew my spirit and breathe fresh life into me. Forgive me for being swept away in the ways of this world Lord. Forgive me for listening to the world and not to You. Forgive me for making idols out of the things that this world provides. Thank you Lord for Your goodness and kindness. How I long to be in Your presence and experience Your Glory. Consume my thoughts Lord so that I may meditate on Your word day and night. In your Precious name I pray, Amen.

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DAY 3 READINGS • PSALM 51:17 • PSALM 1: 1-3 • ROMANS 12:2

P hotographer I van B ertolazzi FREED MAGAZINE 98

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