Eastern Standard issue 1

Page 1

EASTERN STANDARD TIME

Illustration by Jeremiah Colonna-Romano

Winter 2002 Volume 1, Number 1 $3.00

Berserk

Jin-Roh

Wire-Fu Reviews ...and more!


Eastern Standard Time Publisher Eric Chon Derek Guder Editors Eric Chon Derek Guder

Blood & Gatts

An Examination of Kentaro Miura’s Aggressive, Dark Fantasty

Art Director Eric Chon Graphic Design Eric Chon Front Cover Art Jeremiah Colonna-Romano Back Cover Art Kyle Hoyt Screen Captures Jana Colonna-Romano Contributors Eric Chon Andrew Cunningham Joseph Iglesias Derek Guder Timothy Den Preferred Beverages Mountain Dew Code Red Sobe Sport (I miss you!) Pepsi Twist Soy Milk Contributions and Submissions kabael@softhome.net For Advertising, please write echon@softhome.net Donations We will accept your unwanted computers, money, fan art, and toys

by Andrew Cunningham Who is Gatts? Why is Berserk so popular even though nothing has been ofcially released outside of Japan other than a Dreamcast game? We dissect Kentaro Miura’s dark creation to reveal all - from the manga to the anime. See what’s so hot about this up-andcoming title. Page 9

Special Thanks

Miriam, Bruce, Sean, Our Parents, AnimeBoston 2003, Tokyo Kid, Diablo 2: Lord of Destruction, the Boston anime scene, Invader Zim, Kyle Hoyt, and laziness!

Eastern Standard Time is published quarterly. No articles may be reproduced without prior consent. Not enough people recognize the power of pie. That’s a damn shame. Volume 1, Number 1.

This magazine is funded and published by all those who’ve helped make this a reality. All articles are copyright their respect authors and all images and characters are copyright their respective owners. Please don’t sue us, we can’t pay out anything as we’re all poor and destitute. If anything in this magazine is similar to any person who is dead, living, partially dead, not really living, or undead...this is pure coincidence and I promise it won’t happen again. Unless it does. ©2002


I Know Wire-Fu! The Chinese Ability to Fly

by Eric Chon As kung-fu and martial arts become more and more popular, where does wire-fu t in Hollywood’s world of glitzy special effects? Where did it all come from? And what place will wirework hold in the action lms of tomorrow? Page 16

Columns and Departments

Mindless Gibberish

Hear the editors bitch and complain about anything and everything. Both of our editors tag-team your fragile sensibilites with virtriol and crankiness. It’s a good read! No really, it is. I can’t contain my excitement. Pg. 4

Upcoming Releases

What’s on the horizon? What’s been overlooked? Check out the latest and greatest and nd your next favorite thing. We wouldn’t lie - honest! Pg. 5

Looking Ahead

A quick look at what’s in our future and how you can help our cause and make it your own. Submission and advertising information - it’s all here! Pg. 34

Berserk

Jin-Roh: The Big Bad Wolf A critical analysis of Mamoru Oshii’s latest opus. Dive into the hidden meanings and double-crosses strewn throughout Jin-Roh’s bleak landscape. And since we really can’t critique and take apart anything without giving away details, spoilers exist. Page 22

Jin Roh

Is Mamoru Oshii’s latest project the bee’s knees? Or simply the cat’s pajamas? Find out! Pg. 20

Gundress

Evil lurks here. Find out exactly how Shirow sold his soul to the devil. We lost three reviewers to this... Pg. 28

Vampire Hunter D

Vampire hunting - old school! Your favorite laconic vampire dukes it out with my memory. Pg. 30

Shaolin Soccer

What very well may be the greatest soccer epic of all time. p.32

Other Reviews

by Derek Guder

An alternate look at this violent and bloody anime from start to nish. Warning: Spoilers! Pg. 14


There are many things that lead to the creation of a magazine-esque publication (such as Eastern Standard Time). Those include motivation, dedication, and deadlines. And friends. And pie. I found myself to be wanting in all these respects (except for the last two), hence why I published AnimeXtra back in 2000 (just in time for Otakon) and you’re reading what is essentially the second issue in 2002. Through my many pitfalls and diversions, I have amazingly enough made it to where I can actually type my goddamn column. Why is that signicant? Because normally I only type this thing when every other aspect is nished. However, I am going to make an exception here because I still need to receive some revisions and a column from my esteemed friend and evil antagonist Derek (see right column). So, I can continue to bitch and moan about that and point this out to everyone reading this - but I’m a nicer guy than that. So, to prove how nice I am, let’s get to the list of thank you’s and damn you’s: Thank You: - Jana Colonna-Romano (for kicking my lazy ass) - Jeremiah Colonna-Romano (for a kick-ass cover) - Derek Guder (for kicking my ass while working on this) - Tokyo Kid (for being kick-ass people and buying an ad) - Kyle Hoyt (ass-kickin’ back cover!) - Anime Boston 2003 (see above - enough ass kicking) - My friends and family for supporting me through this - Soy Milk (because it tastes good and terries Derek AT THE SAME TIME) Damn You: - Losing my job (obvious reasons) - Diablo 2: Lord of Destruction (I had to beat you!) - Broadband Internet (work? what’s that? Oooh...IRC!) - My scanner/printer (only one ever works) - Laziness (because it sucks) So, there’s my column. Nice and neat and all the way to the bottom. Hope you enjoy our crazy thing! Eric Chon Editor-in-Chief echon@softhome.net

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Derek Guder - Editor / Publisher

Eric Chon, Editor-in-Chief / Publisher Pwokwateenashun-nyo! You know, there’s a funny thing about deadlines - they’re all lies. Every last one of ‘em is a little spiteful ball of scornful laughter. They’re laughing at you, not with you, by the way. What, you don’t believe me? Think about it: “We’ll get the magazine done by November.” “Hey, Eric, we’ll be done by the end of December, and have it ready for the New Year!” “All right, nal plan - everything’s done by the end of January…” So now it’s nearing midnight on the day before we’re going with the manuscript to the printers (and more than a bit into February, in case you’re wondering) and I’m still typing away on this and that. I just nished a nal edit and now I’m jibber-jabberin’ about stupid deadlines and how they never get kept. Funny, that. We could almost dedicate this whole issue to deadlines, you know that? I was working on three other major writing projects while this was going on and all of their deadlines crept back ever so “slightly” as well. “Crept.” What an appropriate word, as those deceitful little deadlines try to crawl away from our watchful eyes until it’s too late and they’ve come up and bitten you in the rear. And it’s not like they don’t have any help either. Hell, every damn cool thing on the planet is apparently scheming to help spread those little lies otherwise known as “projected completion dates.” So yeah, deadlines are lies wearing the white suits of “plans” until you get close enough and they make a heel turn. Bastards! Either that or they’re three-legged midgets who dance backwards through time. Take your pick Derek Guder Editor / Publisher kabael@softhome.net


New New and and Upcoming Upcoming Releases Releases by Derek Guder

Love Hina Had enough of the one-dorksurrounded-by-a-dozen-beautiful-girls anime? Well too bad, ‘cause here’s another one. Keitaro rst fails to pass the entrance exams to Tokyo University (where he promised to meet the preschool sweetheart he’s been fantasizing about ever since) and then stumbles into a position as manager at an allgirls dormitory/hot springs resort (after stealing a bunch of panties and running across the roof naked - he claims it was all a misunderstanding, of course). So he’s forced into relatively conned quarters with a number of stunning women who all (okay, almost all of them, but you get the point) either love him or love him and pretend they hate him. Pretty standard fair so far, but Love Hina isn’t all cliché. First, our male lead doesn’t suffer from the Tenchi-syndrome of being spineless, indecisive and completely lacking in character traits. He is, of course, very kind and shy, but actually does have a mind of his own and the backbone the apply it. On top of that, there is eventually one woman he falls in love with, and he doesn’t lead the others on. It’s almost like he combines the best traits of Tenchi and Makoto, avoiding their blandness to become a much more interesting character than most of the leads for these romantic comedies. Second, Love Hina has great fun with wacky and crazy humor, from main characters prone to mild hallucinations (to be kind we’ll call them “daydreams” or “symbolism”) to skipping around through a few different genres (Old-school samurai icks! Video game adventuring!) to the more traditional “Eeek! You saw my bare skin!” *kaPOW!*. After I had rst nished the series and then watched a sneak preview of the rst DVD at an ‘Anime on DVD’ screening, I was surprised to nd out how re-watchable it was. Love Hina isn’t as much about romance, exploring strange worlds or saving the universe like some other popular titles and its strong comedy elements manages to carry it pretty well. Hell, I could watch some episodes just for the living bundle of chaos that is the little techno-freak Kaolla Suu. You get to laugh and chuckle while sighing every now and then at our mildly star-crossed lovers. And, of course, there are the chicks, of which Love Hina has plenty. No matter your tastes, you’ll nd something here to watch as it moves across the screen. Don’t worry girls, nothing too risqué or naughty happens, but those girls sure are pretty, and nicely animated too. Love Hina doesn’t skimp on any of the visuals. Love Hina has 24 episodes in the TV series as well as a handful of specials and a new (and more ecchi) OVA series being released in Japan now. The rst DVD (available with a box to hold the other discs) is slated to be available on 2/19/2002. 5


Soul Taker Watching Soul Taker, you really have no idea what’s going on. There’s something about our lead’s mother trying to kill him, his sister being a bunch of “ickers” scattered across the world and his sudden discovery that he has nigh-ultimate whoop-ass power. You don’t really care, however, because everything looks so neat. The show isn’t the bestanimated thing to ever hit the screen (for that, look to FLCL), but it is one of the most stylish. Odd camera angels, distinctive character designs strongly reminiscent of Mike Mignola’s work at times (of Hellboy and Atantis fame - ed) and solid, simple colors dominating the entire screen at times makes for an experience when watching Soul Taker. It’s almost like an entire show animated in the style of Cowboy Bebop’s opening credits. On top of that, the entire show is set against moody gothic cathedrals and stained glass windows or futuristic apartments and secret bases. See what I meant about distinctive? I’d watch this show no matter what they stuffed in there for a plot. Speaking of that plot, Soul Taker isn’t really innovative in that realm. We have a reluctant hero (Kyosuke Date) who discovers that he has the ability to transform into an almost indestructible and super-powerful Soul Taker! Just about every episode some new and deranged-looking villain (Giant samurai robots? Got ‘em. Crazy doctors with giant hypodermic needles? Got ‘em. Luxury cars - of DEATH!? Got ‘em.) shows up and Kyosuke has to beat the crap out of them. Apparently they are all minions from the uberevil organization Hospital (gasp!), which is out to capture him, study him and generally make his life miserable. To this end, Hospital has been kidnapping and experimenting upon “ickers” of his long-lost sister (including the rst girl that nursed him back to health), and Kyosuke decides to rescue them and put a stop to these nefarious schemes, and maybe nd his real sister along the way. Just what a icker is remains unclear, at least in the translation of the episodes I was able to watch. The term “clone” is used, but none of the ickers encountered look the same, so perhaps there is some sort of metaphysical connection between all the cute women Kyosuke must save. I must admit I nd the ickers deeply intriguing, and their mystery keeps me engaged in the plot while I sit back and enjoy the incredible visual presentation of the show. The rst Soul Taker DVD should be released 2/26/2002, and there are 13 total episodes in the series.

Adventures of Mini Goddess Ah, it’s Ah! My Goddess they way it should have been, with none of that gagging love-love stuff and Belldandy as the tard she is. Okay, that is harsh and maybe even unfair, but this show really is a distillation of all the cute and funny aspects of the series without the sweet romance pervading everything. I enjoy Ah! My Goddess as much as the next guy, but sometimes it’s just too much to take, and that’s where Adventures of Mini Goddess comes in.

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Apparently the goddesses have many powers, because one day Urd decides to shrink herself down to the size of an action-gure. Why? Because she’s bored, that’s why! Of course Skuld follows suit and wacky adventures ensue with their good friend Gan-chan the rat! Every now and then Belldandy will make an appearance to be sweet, compliant and indecisive, though Keiichi remains only a voice or a shadow at most.


Readers of the Ah! My Goddess manga may already be familiar with this, as Dark Horse loved us to release a short little collection of the short comic strips. A lot of the same events happen in both, but I found the anime funnier and cuter on the whole. The entire show is chibi and super-deformed and lled with completely silly humor (though not to the level of Di Gi Charat, which is to say it’s safer for most people - it won’t give them a toothache or hurt their brains too much). C’mon, you know you wanted to see the goddesses take on the giant Ratzilla or face the evil Air Conditioner of Doom! What about undertaking an epic quest to nd out what’s really going on inside a vending machine? How about nding the perfect wife for Gan-chan? Forming a band - even goddesses have to rock out sometimes! And then there’s the Berserk parody that every fan has to see… Each short episode is only about six minutes long (with another minute long credit sequence that is just soooo cute), so they’re also the perfect thing to pop in for a quick little laugh when you want a break. Thankfully, the DVDs are being released with 12 of episodes on each. The rst volume of the 48 episode series should be available on the 12th of February.

FLCL

Chances are you’ve had at least ten different raving otaku come up and rant at you about how FLCL is the best show ever and how you have to see it. Sure, like you haven’t heard that from a million different fan-boys a million times already. The thing is, this time they might actually be right. FLCL (that’s pronounced “furi-kuri”, although the ofcial word is also “fooly-cooly”) is the story of… well… it’s pretty much impossible to say what it’s actually about without giving too much away, so I’ll stick with the story of “a boy and his robot.” Or at least that’s what happens in the show, it’s also about growing up and maturing into an adult. Or maybe it’s a thinly veiled overview of the history of the animation studio that produce it (and other shows like Evangelion and KareKano), Gainax. Or maybe it’s just an amazingly and mind-blowing show with stunning music and jaw-dropping visuals. Hell, it could even be called a three hour long music video. Either way, FLCL is an experience and proves that Gainax is incapable of producing anything but gold. From the rst episode, you’ll be hooked - and you won’t get the chance to blink before your pulled in, gutted, fried up and served for dinner. Then you’ll cry ‘cause you want more! There’s something here for everyone. Each episode features an exciting edgeof-your-seat kind of robot ght, but there are also a number of surprisingly subtle (and maturely handled) romances throughout the series. The insane and hyper-kinetic humor (similar to KareKano or Kodomo no Omocha) made me cry laughing even on my fourth viewing in as many weeks. The entire show is lovingly drawn and the direction of the show is top-notch, allowing FLCL to unfold like a ower. Easily one of the best animated shows ever (if not the best), FLCL operates on a number of levels, and always makes you feel like there’s more to discover. The rst DVD (containing episodes 1 and 2 of 6) was due out at the end of January, but has apparently been pushed back until March 20th to allow the inclusion of the director’s commentary. That’s something worth waiting for, it’ll show you that you only understood half of what you thought you did.

Keep Keep Your Your Eye Eye Out Out For... For... Cowboy Bebop movie: Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door The movie doesn’t happen after the television series, so those who have nished it and know what I’m talking about can stop their worrying or hoping or whatever it is you’re doing and simply enjoy this long and luxurious episode of Cowboy Bebop on the big screen. “Wait a minute, what do you mean by episode?” you ask. “Isn’t this a movie?” Well, yeah, it is, but it’s more like an extra-long episode with a movie-sized budget than anything else, if you know what I mean. We get all the great stuff from the series (great characters, bits of humor and irony, jaw-dropping ght scenes and, of course, everyone’s favorite, Ed), just bigger, ashier and maybe even better. The bounty this time is Vincent, an ex-military man who has apparently snapped and begun releasing some unknown and apparently unstoppable biological agent upon a major metropolis. The crew of the Bebop tracks down clues leading to the target with their usual volatile combination of competence and cooperation, despite the repeated intrusion of the feisty Elektra. This all leads to a series knock-down, drag-out ghts animated so


well your mouth will water, of course. The ght in the elevated train, my favorite of the movie, will just leave you speechless. Or at least it did to me, even thinking back on it now. The plot conveniences and scientic gimmicks were also rst-class, warming my overly read little heart with their treatment of subjects like nanotechnology and advanced biological medicine. It was obvious that the writers had done at least some research, which is apparently beyond many of the creators of supposed blockbusters or smash-hits. On top of that, the plot itself gives rise to a number of scenes and images that are just short of brilliant. The movie will kick your ass all over the theater and look damn good doing it the whole time. Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door does have a few aws, however. The very ending left me slightly unsatised, I must admit. Without giving anything away, it’s difcult to explain, but it didn’t quite sit right. It just wasn’t as good as the rest of the movie, unfortunately. The other problem is that we just didn’t get enough Ed! I demand more! More! Well, maybe that’s not really a aw, per se, but Ed always deserves more attention. This is almost the Platonic ideal of an action movie, what every other such lm should aspire to being. Jaw-dropping action, exciting ghts, superb visuals and scenes and maybe even bits of wisdom scattered here and there if you squint a little.

Hellsing This is what a lot of people will likely be calling the “next Trigun” and it might very well ll that label. Hellsing shares a lot with the futuristic western, the character designs are strongly reminiscent of the popular release, as is much of the music. It even shares the noticeable drop and recovery in the animation quality. The greatest difference lies in its mood, Hellsing does not start out a comedy and then become a much more serious drama. It is instead very conscious of trying to maintain a dark and moody atmosphere from the beginning. There is a lot of blood in Hellsing. People die, and do so quite frequently. Beginning with the transformation of a young female police ofcer into a vampire at the fangs of Alucard, the Helsing Society’s “pet vampire,” the show largely followers her training, both in ghting vampires and how to come to terms with her existence as one of them. I almost laughed out loud as she discovered her newfound strength and durability. Through her education, we are introduced to the aforementioned Helsing Society, which operates at the behest of the English government to combat the rising plague of vampires, as well as keeping it secret from the public. The powerful vampire Alucard, with his perpetually amused demeanor, hides secrets and frightening powers of his own as well. The character designs are great (particularly on Alucard himself), budget is conserved for the centerpiece ght scenes and the show has those kinds of memorable characters that fans just can’t wait to see get it on. If you don’t believe me, wait until the Vatican sends out its own trained hitman to “deal” with Alucard… Amusingly enough, those familiar with the Vampire: the Masquerade role-playing game will nd it more than a little amusing to realize that Hellsing almost ts perfectly into the setting of the game. Apparently the manga creator was into the gaming scene in Japan, which makes it likely that he would have encountered a translation of the popular game at some point. Judging from the rst half of the series, Hellsing shows a lot of promise, but has yet to fulll it. On the one hand we are provided with intriguing characters, fun ghts, strange powers and hints of mystery and conspiracy. The show does, however, suffer from some animation dips, as I mentioned. Nothing as drastic as some other shows (like, say, Trigun), but it is noticeable for a few episodes. The pacing is somewhat troubled as well. Hellsing has a very relaxed pace at times, even slipping into languid every now and then, which can be very damaging to a 13 episode series. It remains to be seen whether this show will use its second half to fulll its potential with air and become a great show or simply round out a pretty good release. Certainly something to keep an eye on and more than worth a rental, if nothing else.


by Andrew ‘Eirias’ Cunningham

T

here’s a growing whisper round the corners of fandom. It rose up from the Japanese speaking contingent, those of us who watch stuff on the air in Japan and read manga. As fansubs started appearing, the fansub type joined their voices to the rising chord. Then Eidos released Sword of the Berserk: Guts Revenge and the video game enthusiasts added their roar, which can only grow louder from here. The roar says one thing. “Berserk is cool.” Why? Looking at it in passing, it really shouldn’t be. Berserk is rmly in the sub-genre of fantasy that is easily the nastiest sub-genre around (at least, ruling out illegal lolicon stuff.) A demon strewn bleak landscape, where lack of hope has destroyed the humanity of those humans still trying to eke out an existence. Where demons go, rape and gore is common. But there is a ray of hope. One man has shown himself capable of standing before them. And he has a really big sword.

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Done with a modicum of taste, this can actually be fairly entertaining, and I saw the rst episode at Katsucon ‘99, was amused, and put it on my list of things to see eventually. I dug the sheer macho nihilism of the thing; Gatts pumping arrows into Serpentor’s face amused me in much the same way as early Beat Takeshi, before he began adding all that redeeming stuff.

Of course, this goes along with what makes Berserk so compelling: the sheer depth of character. Letting us into the heads of characters who don’t speak much is very difcult. Occasionally, they may open up and talk about their past or their hopes for the future, but for the most part, Miura is forced to rely on facial expressions and subtle shifts in relationships to tell his story. We learn about them by their reactions to events, and the characters change drastically over time. Indeed, in the manga, the character designs continuously shift, from youth to growing maturity.

But just as Fireworks is a far, far better lm that Violent Cop, I wasn’t in any great rush to nd more of BerThe main body of Berserk in both the anime and the manga is an serk. Now I own all 19 volumes of the manga, talked extended ashback, chronicling the entire life of the main character, my roommate into buying a Dreamcast and the game, Gatts. While the anime told of his childhood in a later ashback, the and have seen the entire anime series. I will instantly manga, late in volume three, picks up with his birth, falling from the buy them when Media Blasters gets around to releaswomb of a dead woman hung in a tree. His life gets more depressing ing the DVDs (hopefully using the same voice actor for from there, and it’s easy to see why the anime chose Gatts as the game.) That’s quite a switch. Why this switch? Why does the anime attract standing room only crowds at cons? to show him joining the Band of the Hawks, a rising Why does the manga consistently sell millions upon millions of copies? mercenary company, rst. This is the rst time in Why, and this is most important, does it sell nearly as well to females as his life he’s felt appreciated. The plot from this it does to males? point, until the end of the ash“...Miura is forced to Because Berserk is really, really good. It is subverting and reinventing back (and end of the genre. It destroys the conventions of the genre, but makes use of the anime) folrely on facial expresthem. It gains its power by going beyond cliché and into archetype. lows the rise and sions and subtle shifts Gatts is not just another overpowered swordsman -- he is the overfall of the Hawks. in relationships to tell powered swordsman he radiates an aura that the other characters, As we involve and the audience, instinctively feel. And yet Kentaro Miura has ourselves in this, his story.” gured out how to tap into the archetype while still having Gatts Miura gradually do things not typically done by hulking swordsmen. He worries works in hints of about the damage he causes, and is unusually tender to people the supernatural once more, nally tearing the world who manage to get close to him. apart and leaving us where we started. Because we understand how the world became the depressing


place it has become, we care more about his efforts to save it. We understand the sort of motivation that you need to take on the forces of hell. Miura consistently manages to justify every excess by making it all a vitally important plot point in the characters’ arcs. The manga originally ran for three volumes with the basic concept - Gatts in his guise as the Black Swordsman stomping around hacking things to bits and being healed by Pakk, his elf comic relief companion. The art in these early volumes barely resembles the later heights; Miura had not quite managed to distinguish himself from every other ‘80s violent manga. The addition of the elf was certainly different. He already had a well-developed sense of horror, and drops hints that more is going on than meets the eye. For the most part, though, this material can be discounted; unlike the later stages of the series, every single event does not in some way play a role in the larger story. At the end of volume three, he starts on the ashback, and his own artistic style begins to emerge. The art is some of the most detailed work available in manga (unless Pakk is super-deformed). Miura obsessively draws background in every panel, and denes individual teeth in the characters’ mouths. The designs, while still manga style, do conform more to real people than is typical. The proportions are those found on real humans, though the chin and ears are a little pointy, and the eyes somewhat larger. More impressive to me is the range of his designs; it’s rare for a character to look at all similar to another - the faces are as varied as the faces you see around you in the real world. One of my favorite designs is Jill, a young girl he befriends early in volume fourteen; normally, character designs are either beautiful or ugly, but Jill is simply normal, even a little plain. She looks like a farmer’s daughter. Equally impressive, as I mentioned before, is his tendency to gradually shift the character designs over time. In a recent volume, Gatts paid a visit to Rickert, who’d been a child back in the days of the Hawks. Now, though, he’s been working in a smithy for two or three years, and the effect of the hard work and adolescence has signicantly altered his facial structure and body type. He’s recognizable as Rickert, and yet shockingly different. While the occasional spurt of super-deformed humor from Pakk does keep the tone from being too dark, I nd that the background are an even bigger help. Gatts’ travels are occasionally interrupted by a glorious view of a beautiful sunset, or of a moss-covered tree covered in elves. These moments of beauty remind you that all is not hopeless in this world, and that there is beauty worth saving beneath the pallor of evil’s inuence. Miura’s use of zip-a-tone has been growing steadily more ambitious, and a really impressive level of detail and beauty lls the series. His layouts and framing is equally ambitious; my favorite panel being one in which the characters are seen from beneath the surface of a stream. While characters have had a tendency to pose stify, this has gradually faded as his eye for body language has grown more discriminating. His action is dynamic, exciting, and aston-

Gatts Gatts is the main character of Berserk. His strong, silent, powerful exterior hides the scars of his childhood, but he stubbornly refuses to become an Anno hero. Though reticent, and something of a loner, he is capable of relating to others on a quiet, relaxed fashion. He doesn’t expect anything of anyone else, and is somewhat frustrated by the way other people won’t accept him as he is. Much smarter than he should be, he has a tendency to watch and analyze in the corner. He shows his love in much the same quiet fashion, communicating it in a tender look, a gentle touch, or a kiss. His reactions to the world are very lowkey, until things start to happen to those he cares about, at which point his eyes white out and he enters an unstoppable berserker rage.


Caska Caska is the female lead, and, of course, the love interest. She is still quite young when we meet her, and comes across as quite bitchy; she’s trying very hard to keep her head high and be the equal of all the men. Her snappishness is a by-product of her own insecurities. As she ages, she mellows out, becoming more secure. Gatts brings out her tender side, and her ercely passionate one. She survives the events at the end of the anime, but, waking, recovered from her wounds, she wanderes out into the night, her mind still reeling from the horror that I shall not spoil. In this weakened state, her mind is no match for the spirits she encounteres, and she remembers nothing, acting as a small child.

ishingly easy to follow, and he can convey peace and tension equally well. He uses a huge variety of sound effects, most of which would be impossible to retouch, and there’s often a large amount of dialogue in tiny bubbles - for a series with so many silent characters, it’s very dialogue heavy, without ever being dialogue driven. There’s no end in sight for the manga; Miura’s plotting is so dense and complicated, and his vision stretches so far ahead, that events and characters introduced in the current volume may well have a deep seated impact on events three or four volumes away. The anime naturally had to discard a great deal of the art’s detail, being fairly low budget. Little of the dynamic feel of the story is lost, though the number of changes in the character designs is greatly reduced. The rst episode is an amalgam of several events from the rst few volumes, but omits Pakk entirely. For the most part, the ashback that follows is faithful, though it makes the mistake of leaving out several sections of material. While most of these (Gatts being raped as a child) are understandable, the entirety of volume eleven is discarded. Since volume eleven is a massive chase, and a extended ght with Wild, who gradually becomes more and more monstrous as the volume progresses, the series still makes sense. The omission, however, makes the descent into horror all the more sudden in the nal episodes. The TV series also, to my complete confusion, does not nish; it ends on a cliffhanger. Had they done one more episode, rounding out to the standard twenty-six episodes, they would have nished the ashback and brought the show to an ending. The manga was only in early volume 14 at the point where the anime ended. Rumor has it that a second series is planned; while this can easily explain the absence of Pakk and the Skull Knight, an earlier omission may create some serious problems. Somewhere in volumes eight and nine of the manga, Gatts and company run afoul of a Arabian assassin who later shows up with friends in volume nineteen. The character was left out of the anime entirely, in favor of simpler to animate mooks. Meanwhile, the Dreamcast game, which is set in the post ashback world, doesn’t really seem to t into continuity…yet. The manga is still ongoing, and may simply not yet have caught up to the game yet. Gatts has only recently found Caska but they are traveling with several other friends, rather than on their own. The game amounts to a pretty decent movie


with some entertaining ghting in between; it’s well worth the minimum of effort required. The English dub ranges from excellent (Gatts himself), decent (new character Rita), to awful (Pakk.) The game also refers to the characters as Guts and Puck, which are certainly correct interpretations of the Japanese names. I “...I feel use Gatts and Pakk because I feel that Guts that Guts is is a damn silly name, and that Puck is too a damn silly blatant a reference, one that carries a lot of unwanted baggage. The aural pun is still name...” there, of course, but it doesn’t need to be spelled out. It isn’t that Pakk’s voice actor really does a bad job with the role, although he’s more annoying than funny, I just think he’s way to old for the role. Pakk is generally portrayed as about eight years old. He’s young enough to be utterly naïve about everything, and yet old enough to have conceived of a certain moral system. His outraged, foot-stamping tantrums when Gatts is being particularly dark and grim effectively keep him from being too disconnected from the events around him, and help endear him to readers. He doesn’t get to make one of these in the game, unfortunately. With rumors of sequels to both game and anime, and with the manga still ying to the top of the charts every time a new volume is released, it seems the Berserk phenomenon will continue long into the future. With the game in English, and the anime soon to be, all that remains is the manga. Due to the nature of the artwork and the rather extreme content of late, I don’t believe its chances are good…but I’d love to see it, and they’d make a fortune if they can gure out a way to do it well.

Pakk I’ve blabbed about Pakk before. Pakk is more than just the comic relief here; he’s the moral compass that keeps Gatts from crossing the line. At rst he comes across as jarringly out of tone, but it’s more that he’s the only character who isn’t hiding his real emotions. Every emotion that hits him is reected so strongly on his features that it frequently results in superdeformed behavior; just because it’s funny doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter deeply.

Grifth Grifth is the commander of the Hawks, an ambitious, condent, ambiguous man. His interest and trust in Gatts build Gatts’ own condence, and his enigmatic nature stimulates Gatts’ intellect. While a talented, charismatic leader, he does not seem to care for anything in the immediate, his eyes always trained toward the future. Or at least, that’s what he wants other people to think… like most bishounen, there’s much going on beneath the surface, and not all of it pretty. Recent issues of the manga have been playing some neat tricks with reversal; Grifth is now playing hero, the savior of the world sent by heaven.


An Alternate Look at ‘Berserk’ by Derek ‘Kabael’ Guder

W

atching Berserk is a very bittersweet experience. From the very beginning you’re left hungering for answers, completely aware that the Truth is out there somewhere - you just haven’t seen it on the screen yet. Gatts obviously has as much backstory as he has muscle (which is to say a lot) and you can see, even almost feel the passion burning out of his one eye as he swings his helicopter blade of death… er… sword in the dark and bloody world of Berserk. And then the anime becomes an extended ashback… that you expect to resolve itself and return to the “present” at any time, but it never does. Instead, during our oddly numbered twenty-four episode series, we begin in media res only to jump back for nearly the entire show, and then get a nal after credit sequence that maybe brings us back to where we started. Even with all that, however, you never are let in on the Big Secret. The Truth remains Out There, and you were obviously not cleared to see it. It’s not the story structure that leaves you wondering, however. It begins superbly (although that monster will never look anything other than goofy) and after a while the feeling of being in “ashback mode” fades away as you’re instead sucked into the lives and passions of the cast of characters. The problem is that the show simply up and stops at episode twenty-four. It doesn’t end, because that implies some sort of closure where there is none. The closest comparison I can think of is with Key the Metal Idol, with its “ending” at episode thirteen. That at least had the follow-up “movies” to actually let you know what was going on, however. Imagine Neon Genesis Evangelion just stopping after Kaoru shows up. It doesn’t make for very satisfying viewing. It should be noted, however, that such does not equate to worthless viewing - Berserk is still a damned ne show, ending or not. A cast of endearing characters, clearly dened by their burning desires, ensures that you’ll really want to forgive any shortcomings in this fantasy tale of indomitable passion and will, and the high cost of dreams.


Spoilers ho! Divided up into three nearly equal arcs, Berserk does suffer somewhat from being a tad too slow in the beginning and too fast at the end. The middle batch, however, is just right. The rst arc is focused on getting to know the characters - and them getting to know each other as well. The relationship between Grifth and Gatts is slowly brought into clearer focus as is, somewhat more importantly, the one between Caska and Gatts. Events haven’t even begun to unfold at this point, and everyone is somewhat stiff and reserved, but not entirely without reason. However, this all adds up to a somewhat more leisurely beginning than might be ideal. Gatts’ descent into shadow, as a willing pawn in the machinations of Grifth, marks the second phase of the story. Grifth’s truly ruthless nature is laid bare, as we suspected from the beginning. Gatts becomes little more than a vessel for Grifth’s desires, dispensing death whenever his master beckons - and he knows it. It burns him, but for a while he can see no course open to him other than that of to moth to Grifth’s ame. Caska also changes, at rst more subtly than the two main men, but her transformation (dare I say, blossoming) soon overshadows theirs. Filled with such raw emotion and characterization that you can’t help but be completely absorbed as the hours pass, this stage abruptly ends with realizations on all fronts. Gatts realizes he must live for a dream of his own, as not as a passive vessel for another. Caska realizes her metamorphosis, and can no longer deny how she has changed. Grifth is forced to realize that he cannot control everything any longer. As Gatts (perhaps the only person he may have truly cared for in a real, personal way) slips from his formerly undefeated grasp, the White Hawk crumbles like a castle of sand. It’s the spiral into insanity, and ultimately god-hood, that lls the third and nal arc of the manga. His dreams naught but ash and dust now, Grifth’s fragile grasp on reality is completely eroded by the malicious forces of hell as he is pushed to assume a mantle of dark divinity. His descent is marked by the escalation of supernatural horror let loose across the land. Unfortunately, there is precious little foreshadowing or build-up to these monstrous goings-on, and you’re left thinking “Uh… yeah…. It looked cool at least.” Gatts, on the other hand, manages to nd his own dream with Caska just in time for it to be ripped from him and deled before his very eyes. And just when you get the feeling that some serious payback is in order (the amount of ass-kicking just waiting to go down would be immeasurable) and everything will nally fall into place and make sense, Berserk just stops. Poof! Bamf! Zoop! Makes ya wanna scream, don’t it?


by Eric Chon

I

magine for a moment that you are ying through the air. As the blustering wind ows through your hair, you propel yourself forward with amazing grace and agility, leaping from rooftop to rooftop. At the end of the last building stands your hated enemy - his powerful stance and mocking smile stirring your soul into a brutal rage. With one nal dive, you both engage in the eternal struggle between righteousness and evil. An aerial battle ensues of such ferocity that even before you both hit the ground, hundreds of strikes and parries are exchanged and blood is drawn. Your battleground is not the at earth, it is all around you. It is the wall that supports your master’s courtyard, it is the roof that shelter’s your family, it is the very air you breathe. Gravity has no meaning, human limitations do not exist - only the bloodlust of vengeance remains and the cries of the sacriced. Not just a few years ago, most moviegoers couldn’t understand - much less imagine - the scene portrayed above. Fight choreography was usually limited to: 1. 2. 3. 4.

Hero punches Bad Guy Bad Buy punches Hero They fall down Repeat

Sometimes they would try and spice things up with a kick or a throw, but anything beyond that was unheard of. Despite having big budgets, big stars and big special effects, American movies have had concede that their physical confrontations zzled at best. Although there have been sporadic bursts of supreme ght choreography (Bruce Lee’s movies for example) - they never caught on to spread beyond their lm of origin. It stayed like that for a long time. What and/or who nally broke down the barriers to hyperkinetic violence is debatable, but a few names and movies

always pop up. John Woo, despite being mired in Van Damme-nation, was able to show people what a real showstopper of a gunght should be (and then promptly parodied himself in MI:2). With the arrival of Chow-Yun Fat in the States (and his subsequent rise to stardom thanks to Crouching Tiger), many are waiting with baited breath to hear the announcement that this ‘dynamic duo’ will start another project together. Another unlikely warrior in this pitched battle came from, of all places, a ghting game - and one made in America no less. Mortal Kombat combined many of the fantastic sensibilities of Hong Kong cinema with a bigger budget and greater fanfare. Although his previous work was of somewhat questionable quality (all three Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies and Buffy), Pat Johnson did an admirable job combining limited wirework, special effects, and martial arts into an entertaining package. Jackie Chan zzled a few times before the movie-going public


could accept an Asian action star after Bruce Lee. Battlecreek Brawl and The Protector are Chan-vehicles that end in spectacular failure, but when Hollywood was ready, he exploded on the screen. Rumble in the Bronx, despite being obviously dubbed and certainly not actually shot in the Bronx, was a smash hit. No one had ever seen ght choreography like this before. Chairs, tables, bottles, pinball machines - every conceivable object was used to smash, whack and attack opponents (and Chan himself). It was an awakening and opened the door just a crack for what was to be a ood of actors, choreographers and directors. This catapulted Chan’s career in the States (with huge successes like Rush Hour, it’s sequel and Shanghai Noon) but couldn’t convince America that there were more charismatic heroes from across the ocean. With Hong Kong’s foot set rmly in the door, it was only a matter of time before they proved us wrong. Another action star was about to make his debut, but not as the hero. Jet Li became the new denition of evil badass in the rather tepid Lethal Weapon 4. Since then he has made the forgettable Romeo Must Die (with the late Aaliyah), the not-so-hot Kiss of the Dragon (Corey Yuen and Jet were both wasted) and the critical op, The One. However, one movie made a bigger splash than all of these lms combined. And it would have a highly unlikely origin. Their previous movie was the sexy, stylistic thriller Bound starring Gina Gershon and Jennifer Tilly. Although the lm showed the same high style they would use later on, no one could have guessed that Andy and Larry Wachowski would go on to create one of the most important and beloved science-ction movies in recent memory. The Matrix was a hard-kicking, super-sleek and superbly choreographed powerhouse and forced opened everyone’s eyes to the glory that was wire-fu. Though a virtual unknown in America when he rst stepped on onto the Hollywood scene, Yuen Woo-Ping’s name would soon become synonymous with mid-air acrobatics and super-kinetic martial arts.

The Rebirth of the Hong Kong Fantasy Movie During the 70’s, you couldn’t go 5 feet without running into a kung-fu movie in Hong Kong. And if you were making kung-fu movies, you were making period pieces. They dominated the market for a very long stretch and their popularity seemed to be unstoppable. However, thanks to America’s rst Jackie Chan op, Hollywood gave Chan the idea to do a modern actioner and decided to give Hong Kong a taste. His Police Story was a huge success and since then, period pieces and fantasy movies took a step down from the lime-light. As time progressed, their numbers dwindled (although the quality usually was very high) as the ashier presentday pictures picked up steam. Recently things have changed. With the addition of affordable computer effects, Hong Kong brought a popular comic to life in the smash movie The Stormriders. The combination of a deep story, superb acting, and amazing effects drove the fantasy market through the roof and Hong Kong is now enjoying a Renaissance of sorts for fantasy movies. With other titles such as A Man Called Hero, The Duel, and Legend of Zu commanding the attention of movie-goers (and for Zu, movie execs in Hollywood), it looks as if the combination of massive wirework and computer effects will continue to wow audiences for some time to come.

But where did all this originate? Why was this intense use of wire-work limited to the cinema of one tiny island? The answer lies in the roots of mythical China. It seems fantastic and unbelievable that any human being could y - much less wield a sword or two and attack fteen enemies at the same time. But this was accepted as the mythology of martial arts. Legends told of people who devoted themselves to the study of the martial arts and gained access to powers far beyond those of mortal men. Whether through years of study or extreme aptitude one could gain the ability to run faster than a horse, have skin hard as steel and defy gravity with a simple jump. These were very similar to the Western myths of sorcery, dragons, and sword-distributing women who lived underwater, in fact. And when movie studios tried to come up with ideas for lms, it was second nature to draw on the thousands of stories of kung-fu heroes and powerful villains. Adapting

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their ancient counterparts’ abilities into modern-day required the creative ingenuity that eventually led to today’s wireharness. It was a cheap and “easy” way of duplicating Wong Fei-Hung’s gravity-defying aerial combats and enemies ying back from Fong Sai-Yuk’s astounding kicks. Every kung-fu movie used some wires - whether to speed up a fall (by pulling the stuntman’s legs from underneath him) or to have people jumping from rooftop to rooftop. As martial arts movies began to mature and modernize, so did the wire mature with it. More elaborate set-ups and equipment allowed for “open air” ghts to take place seemingly without borders or limitations. More modern action movies used them to speed up the action or to give the hero one or two extra seconds in the air for a spectacular kick. They were as accepted and widely used as the blue-screen was in America. But who gured that we would see anything like it here? It’s been said by some directors that the American audience did not want watch more than 3 minutes of a ght-scene at a time (I believe the Rush Hour 2 DVD has a producer that repeats that phrase in its ‘extras’ section). After watching what domestic lms had to offer, I didn’t blame them! But it looks as if this is slowly being disproved. The demand for elaborate ght-choreography only seems to grow - and so has a deepening interest in its roots. Where there were only a few scant selections before, many video and rental stores have entire sections devoted to martial arts lms - and not just occupied by Van Damme or The American Ninja anymore. But will this bubble burst or become part of the American lm tradition? Will martial arts choreography just end up like another special effect or gimmick? Already other moviemakers have started to catch the wave - often to startling effects. The most prominent of these recent lms has to be The Brotherhood of the Wolf (Le Pact Des Loups), a French movie set in 18th century France about a “beast” that stalks and kills off countryside denizens. Featuring Marc Decascos as Mani, a Iroquios Mohawk from North America, many of the ghts and action sequences borrow directly from the book of Hong Kong Action. With Philip Kwok as actionchoreographer (veteran kung-fu actor and John Woo choreographer) the action remains intense and stylistic -drawing on the stylistic choices of French director Cristophe Gans (who also directed Decascos in the live-action version of the Japanese manga Crying Freeman) while retaining Hong Kong’s kinetic and chaotic structure. I believe at some point, martial arts will attain an equilibrium here in the States and abroad- much more balanced than in Asia only because of the size of the market. If used intelligently, we can only gain from this recent explosion. There won’t be another They Live - or at least something of that caliber (i.e. -very, very low) will hopefully be a rarity. Eventually, the “newness” will wear out and it will become a standard. Until then, here are a few wire-fu “must sees” that should keep you busy.


Once Upon A Time in China If you’re going to watch any wire-fu movies, then make sure this is on the top of your list. Directed by Tsui Hark and starring Jet Li, OUATIC (as it’s commonly referred to) proved so popular that it spawned 5 sequels (only 3 of which starred Jet Li). The rst movie not only had a great story (though a bit heavy on the “foreign devils” theme) but great characters (even Yuen Biao makes an appearance) and amazing kung-fu and wirework. Recently, the rst 3 OUATIC’s have been released on DVD in the U.S. These 3 (and the 6th) are the ones starring Jet Li and are not to be missed. Start your library with these! Fong Sai-Yuk Another Jet Li vehicle and another classic. Flawless action choreography care of Corey Yuen, excellent story, and wonderful characters easily assures this movie a place at the top. Popular enough to have a sequel (not quite as good, but with searing ght scenes), the original took whimsical kung-fu to heights that have rarely been matched. And it also has the most kick-ass kung-fu mom ever to hit the scene! Yes, even beating out Jackie Chan’s mom in Drunken Master 2. Iron Monkey Amazingly enough released in theaters awhile back, this has got to be my favorite of the bunch. Yuen Woo-Ping in top form as director and choreographer, Iron Monkey has it all. Every ght is amazing beyond belief. The story is substantial enough to stand on its own and not as ller in between ghts. Superb acting throughout, with special attention to the two main characters Wong-Kei Ying (Donnie Yen) and the Iron Monkey (Yu-Rong Guang). Fights atop aming poles, King-Kong Palms, funny jokes about government corruption; this is the real deal. Find the Hong Kong DVD for great video quality and an uncut movie. Find the American release for 100% understandable subtitles and even better visuals (although there is a little snipping here and there). The Stormriders An effects tour-de-force when it was released, Stormriders still stands up a few years later as one of the most visually impressive Hong Kong movies released. It combines a superb story with fantastic acting for a real treat. Based on an 87-volume Chinese comic book it can get a bit heavy and confusing at times - but never gets dull nor too chaotic. The ghts are pretty good since the actors actually need to ght rather than relying on effects to do all the work. I call this the start of the ‘Ekin Cheng’ era because once I rst saw this movie he’s starred in every fantasy movie I’ve seen since. Watch out for the “special edition” DVD - that’s the only one with the original Cantonese voice-track.

Dragon Inn Bridget Linn steals the show in this remake of an old King Hu movie, Dragon Gate Inn. The ghts are over the top, the Deadly Evil Eunich Villain of Doom (played by Donnie Yen) is as good as I’ve just described, and the rather dark story works well with all these ingredients. There are moments in the movie that will have you gasping as aerial acrobatics dazzle and amaze even the most jaded of kung-fu fanatics. Recently rereleased on DVD by Tai Seng it’d be a shame to miss it. Wing Chun Another Yuen-Woo Ping masterpiece. This time starring the beautiful and stunning Michelle Yeoh in her best role to date (in my opinion). A magnicent combination of drama and humor, Wing Chun has some of the most memorable wire-fu ghts lmed - and Michelle shows she can outshine and out-kick any and all of her male compatriots (including Donnie Yen who plays a small, but important, role). Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon This lm really needs no introduction. Featuring some of nest choreography, CTHD is quite possibly the best serious kung-fu movie of all time. I think it even transcends the “kung-fu movie” title and is, quite simply, one of the best lms made. Now that Hong Kong movies are being given a real budget, perhaps we can see more movies of this caliber (both technically and stylistically) coming over the seas. We can only hope.

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Social implications. Political awareness. A storm of bullets. Jin Roh. by Tim ‘T-Dog’ Den

Post-atomic Mission: Impossible? A military version of Miller’s Crossing? Or simply an amazing Anime take on counter-counter intelligence from the view of a new, reective generation of Japanese artists? However you may want to categorize Jin Roh, just don’t try to sum it up: its labyrinth of plots is beyond casual party conversation. A lm that relies more on crafted storytelling than the conventional “eye candy” style of Anime, Jin Roh is a thinker: one that will have you going back for clues time and time again. With its intricate twists-n-turns, who’s-who-and-who-didwhats, keep your eyes and ears sharp and get ready for some serious emotional and mental rollercoasters. Set in the present time (but presumably in an alternate universe), Japan is nearing the end of its post-WWII reconstruction era. However, economic instability and social reconstruction are giving birth to waves of urban uprisings. To help local authorities control these inner city guerillas, the federal government has set up CATO: a heavily armed force outside of local policy authorities’ powers that’s supposed to provide the extra ummph need to maintain peace. But things aren’t as easy as that: there are power struggles between CATO and the police, conspiracies to overthrow certain authorities, betrayals from inside each unit… and somehow everything seems to be centered around one CATO member named Fuse. How and why? Just wait till you see it. And see it again. And again, and again… because you ain’t walking away with all the answers after just one screening. What unfolds in Jin Roh is a hailstorm of double-crosses, layered on top of symbolism and subtle clues. Better get a notepad.

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Without giving away the whole thing (which is impossible anyway, considering how intricate the story is), let’s just say that there’s more to the story than just politics. Fuse, it seems, is an emotionally distraught member of the elite professional law keeping team. Like Mark Walhberg’s character in The Big Hit… ya know: the guy who kills for a living but still loses sleep over if people like him or not? Aaaaaaanyway, Fuse keeps having nightmares / hallucinations about this one redhooded girl who blew herself up. He tries to make amends by befriending the dead girl’s sister,


but then starts having hallucinations about her, too. And, oh boy, if it was only that easy. As the story progresses, you start to nd out that these hallucinations are actually Fuse’s subsconscious secrets revealed as clues…clues that ultimately place him center stage in the whirlwind political landscape that is the setting of the lm. Ya following still? The lm explores Fuse’s personality through subtle uses of social situations. When does a man not belong with the rest of his species? How does a man deal with the fact that he will never t in with the regular working, marrying, children-raising population? How does a man accept the fact that his nature will never allow him to stray from what he’s only good at… being a non-cerebral animal? Again and again, parallels are drawn between wolves and Fuse in beautiful, silent shots… as we witness Fuse’s personal attempt at guring out if he can live a normal person’s life. I know, I know… this all sounds artsy-fartsy and overtly “meaingful” and shit, but trust me: I’m only giving the lm credit for saying so much with simple pictures. See, that’s the main strong point of Jin Roh: none of this is ever spelled out for you through dialog or some “hook-line-and-sinker” set up; but rather these details are embedded in the characters’ movements, their facial expressions, their thoughts that you can’t read but can feel. Which, of course, says a lot about the animators who brought this tale to life. Jin Roh proves that you don’t need constant bloodshed and fancy armor suits in good ol’ storytellin’. But for the carnage lovers, be not afraid: there’s also enough scenes of spines being ripped out by machine gun re to satisfy ya. They’re used sparingly and effectively, of course, but when the bullets start going… oh man! Lots of Saving Private Ryan style, “this shit’s so real I can’t believe I’m not throwing up from watching this,” faces being sliced open like Thanksgiving turkey goodness. Watch for the animator’s obsession with people getting shot in the face… priceless. In the end, though, it’s the insane, multi-layered story of Jin Roh that make it an unbelievable masterpiece. Under-cutting violence with humanity like Beat Takeshi’s works, this lm takes on not only a maze of intentions, it carries all of ‘em out with grace and style. It has been a long time since an Anime has combined psycho-analysis with politics, social observation with nature symbolism, and romance with broken hearts. Never once does it spoon feed you with Disney-ed optimism. A real gem, this one.


by Derek Guder Jin-roh: the Wolf Brigade is a dark movie. We are not treated to a pleasant tale of heroism or comedy when we sit down to watch this drama unfold of men being beasts against a backdrop of alternate history. With a screenplay written by Mamoru Oshii (Ghost in the Shell, Urusei Yatsura: Beautiful Dreamer), veteran anime fans should expect a pointed look at the nature of man and society. In a Japan wracked with recession after a post-war occupation not by America but by Nazi Germany (even though this isn’t actually directly mentioned in the lm), Oshii shows us one man’s easy descent from humanity to beast. Hiroyuki Okiura’s (who has worked with Oshii extensively in the past, most notably on Ghost in the Shell) direction brings a broader focus on the story as a young girl dressed in red takes on an important role. The story of the internal struggle with the beast became a tragic story of love and loss of humanity. During riots spurned by political unrest, the elite soldier Kazuki Fuse watches as a young girl blows herself up in front of him - because he didn’t shoot her in time. Unable to shake the trauma, and unable to gure out why the girl chose suicide over surrender, Fuse is haunted as he seeks out her identity and becomes emotionally entangled with her sister, Kei Amemiya. Theirs is an odd and almost perverse love tightly bound to tragedy as it becomes clear that neither are what they seem and both are pawns in games of cloak-and-dagger politics over which they have no control. There is no room for a happy ending with betrayal and counter-betrayal hiding in disguises of love, duty and necessity. Oshii, in his interviews about the project, has stated that he wanted to show that the wolves of the past have been replaced by the sheep of today. Men like Fuse who have the “spirit of the wolf” are a dead breed, and the modern Japan is populated by people who do what they are told, acting out their lives according to the scripts they have been given. He has managed, however, to instead chronicle why those wolves have put aside their fangs and fur for the woolly lamb’s coat. Many have taken the lm to be about the wolves that lurk within our society, or how a wolf remains a wolf, no matter the image it wears. However, Jin-roh

Spoiler Alert! This article is not a simple overview of the movie Jin-roh: the Wolf Brigade, it is an attempt to dissect the movie and lay it’s “point” bare. As such, spoilers y fast and furious throughout the text, and it will very likely not make much sense to people who have not seen the movie yet. If you have not seen this lm and are concerned about spoiling it for yourself, I recommend that you don’t read further yet, and I strongly urge to see the movie and come back later. If you are unconcerned about nding out what’s going to happen, however, feel free to read further to give yourself some idea of what to keep an eye out for in the movie.


is truly about the death of the wolves, and how that which seems to be a wolf is still only an animal and not a man. Fuse starts as a man, but he retreats into the simplicity of being a beast when faced with trauma and further tragedy. That wolf-spirit has died because the animal - the sheep - is such an easy and comforting refuge for the soul.

Apathy Killed the Wolf Fuse certainly looks like a wolf, he is the beast that doesn’t bother to hide its claws. Despite his appearance, however, it is clear that he cannot be that. After the death of the rst “little red riding hood” in front of him, he becomes emotionless, cold and withdrawn. He oats along his life, following the desires and commands of those around him. He has become like a robot - or like a sheep. He does not act like a wolf because that is his nature, he does it because that is what he has been told to be. When he and Amemiya read the Rotkäppchen (“Little Red Riding Hood”) story together, Fuse takes on the part of the wolf and he fullls that role in his life because that is what has been scripted for him. Fuse seems impossible to jar from this path. He makes what may be a brief glance towards freedom when the couple hides in the rooftop amusement park, but abandons it almost immediately as impossible. Even when faced with the death of the woman he has come to love, at the very end of the lm, Fuse cannot bring himself to break free. Instead he desperately looks for guidance. He is told to kill “this animal, while you are still an animal yourself.” Though he pulls the trigger, Fuse let Amemiya die - he remained a sheep in the end. He knew it too, almost from the very beginning of their relationship he has nightmares about leading the wolves to her and standing by impotently as they devour her. Kei Amemiya, the Red Riding Hood of the story, was no different herself. If anything, she shows her nature even more clearly. Seemingly much more human that Fuse, her slide into passivity is much more noticeable. When her betrayal is revealed, she simply follows him around quietly, barely even speaking. She doesn’t even stop betraying him. After all, she was never told to. “I was indifferent to what was going on around me. I didn’t care what happened to me, so I accepted everything. I was tired of thinking. I forced myself not to think about anything.” It was apathy that led her to betray the man she desperately wanted to love her, because that was so much easier than having to think for herself. It was so much more comforting to simply be told what to do, so much safer when you give up control. You never have to worry then, you never have to fear or feel pain. Amemiya wants to ee, she wants to win a place in Fuse’s heart, but she never had the courage to break free and try to do so, she had convinced herself it was impossible. Fuse’s commander, Hachiro Toube, seems to have realized what has happened to the people

Further Reading For those who would like to hear what the creators themselves said about their work, there are a number of interviews available. The movie’s ofcial website at http://www2.productionig.co.jp/eng2/jinro.htm has interviews with several members of the staff for the production, not only Mamoru Oshii. The site also has other material, such as very amusing artwork from Tetsuya Nishio, the character designer. Pulp, a superb manga magazine, interviewed Mamoru Oshii and provided some information on Jin-roh in their September 2001 issue (vol. 5 no. 9). The interview is available online at http://www.pulp-mag.com/archives/ 5.09/feature_mamoruoshii_01.shtml. The overview and blurb for the lm are also available on their web site. The anime web site Akadot also published a lengthy interview available at http://www.akadot.com/article/ article-oshii1.html. Finally, the English release site at http://www.jinroh.net/index.html has general information about the lm, including the story, brief creator bios and images. The theatrical release schedule for the United States is also available there.


around him. When looking over Fuse and his fellow soldiers, he comments that “no matter how much we hurt them, they still nd comfort in reacting like animals.” It seems that he is desperately trying to make men - or wolves - out of those who serve beneath him. His melancholic and resigned attitude, however, suggest that he is not immune to the lure that has captured everyone else. It may very well be his own passivity that leads him to search for wolves within others.

Self-delusion All of these tragic players in this fairy tale of bestial apathy seem keenly aware of the trap they have fallen into, yet none of them seem to make even a token attempt to free themselves. They have all managed to convince themselves that freedom is unreachable, that self-determination is an impossibility. This fatalistic resignation is apparent in the lm’s circular use of location. This is not simply a circle of repetition or a cycle, however, it is the circle of a wheel rolling through tragedy like gravel, pressing ever onward to its nal destination. Things end where they began, conspiracies are ended where they were spawned. The museum display where Fuse rst learned of the name of the girl who died in front of him is also where Amemiya’s pretense is discarded. Fuse returns to the sewers where the whole story began to kill his old friend Atsushi Henmi and end his manipulations. Amemiya is killed in the same junkyard where Henmi and other politicians met to conceive of the plan to destroy the Panzer Corps that Fuse was a part of. This resigned acceptance is perhaps the most poignant, however, in Fuse’s nightmares and actions. From the moment he meets Amemiya, he fears that he will lead her killers to her. In fact, he knows it. Even before he was forced to choose the unthinkable, he dreaded it. His fear convinced him that he could do nothing about it and he never even tried to save her. He pleads for her life, but almost half-heartedly. By the time Amemiya calls him to beg him to “rescue” her from the strange men who are following her, Fuse knows what will happen in the end. Before he sneaks out of the training compound to nd her, he very nearly takes his own gun with him - but he puts it back in its case. Kept in a false book made to look like a copy of Tristan and Iseult (the tragic love story that inspired Romeo and Juliet), that gun was, in a sense, Fuse’s own fangs and claws, his own wolf-spirit. But he doesn’t take it. He puts it neatly back on the shelf and instead dons the visage of a wolf as commander Toube dictates. If he had taken that gun, it is likely that both he and Amemiya would have died, but they would have died as lovers, just like she had dreamed of. They would have lived out a tale of star-crossed lovers, just like what happened in the story that Fuse kept that gun in. He had, however, convinced himself that could not be - and so it wasn’t. Instead it is a tale where the wolf eats little red riding hood, because that is all he thinks he can do.


Little Red Riding Hood The story of little red riding hood that the movie treats us to, Das Rotkäppchen, is far different from what we are used to hearing as children. Instead of a pseudo-comical story about a pure girl being eaten by a wolf and then rescued by a woodsman, we hear about cannibalism, impurity, passivity and deception. Little red riding hood wears out the protection that her mother had given her, and when she fears that she has eaten her mother’s esh or drank her mother’s blood, she turns to the wolf that she believes to be her mother in an attempt assuage her fears. She has given authority over herself, blindly accepting what those she has given it to tell her. Little red riding hood is led off to be devoured, alive and screaming, by a hungry wolf. The message here is clear: the passive will be consumed by the aggressive. If you do not act, you will be devoured by those who do. That is why the story was used as a symbolic framework for Jin-roh, Amemiya (and Fuse as well) looked to the people around her for all her answers, desperately trying to quiet her fears and justify her sins. Just like little red riding hood, she turned to the ones stalking her to make her feel at ease. Just like little red riding hood, she was devoured.

I was just following orders. The presence of Nazi Germany as the occupying power after World War II was not a coincidence or chosen simply because Oshii wanted to borrow visual elements from German uniforms and soldiers. Fuse and Amemiya’s actions and the rationalizations they construct bear a striking resemblance to those of Nazi soldiers. It wasn’t their fault because they were just following orders. What choice did they have? They were told to. It’s their superior’s fault. There was nothing they could have done to change things, so why bother trying? It would have only gotten them killed.

It wasn’t Amemiya’s fault she betrayed Fuse, she was told to. It wasn’t Fuse’s fault he betrayed Amemiya, he was told to. It wasn’t Henmi’s fault he betrayed Fuse, he was told to. It wasn’t little red riding hood’s fault that she ate the esh and drank the blood of her mother - she was told to. A sheep is not dened simply by its actions, even a lamb can bite. A sheep is born when man abandons personal determination and responsibility for the safe comfort of being told what to do, of external authority. Jin-roh is not a movie about the wolves among us, it is the story of sheep slaughtering each other because they have convinced themselves that they are wolves, that they are supposed to be wolves. The atrocities a man can commit when he has convinced himself that he has no choice, and that it isn’t his fault anyway, are limitless. What’s worse is how enticing that trap can be. Convincing yourself that you are aggressive, that you are a wolf, simply because you take action when told it is necessary is such an easy pit to fall into that it is nearly impossible to escape. Just look around you at all the people with their leg caught in a bear trap, pretending they’re free.


Das Rotkäppchen The version of Little Red Riding Hood that was featured in Jin-roh was hard to nd. No one I knew had ever heard of anything like it before, and I bought both artbooks partly in search of a full translation of it. Internet searches provided similar stories, but it wasn’t until I found a copy that someone had actually transcribed from Jin-roh itself that I found what I was looking for. Broadly, the versions I found followed a similar progression. Little red riding hood goes to visit her grandmother or mother and encounters the wolf, who asks here if she will take the Path of Pins or the Path of Needles. Whatever her answer, the wolf takes the other path and arrives rst, devouring whoever red riding hood was going to visit. When the young girl arrives, hungry and thirsty, the wolf (posing as the mother or grandmother) instructs her to eat the meet and wine in the cupboard. This is actually the esh and blood of her mother, as another animal (usually a cat) reveals to her. Turning the wolf for reassurance, however, she is convinced that is a lie and so she indulged in cannibalism. Then she strips (sometimes burning her clothes) and climbs into bed with the wolf. Slowly beginning to realize his true nature but to afraid to admit it to herself, she desperately accepts the explanations the wolf gives her until he nally just eats her. Interpretations of this tale vary. It is a lurid gothic love story to some and a distillation of fears regarding prostitution and witchcraft to others. Three versions that I found particularly useful were: Memory and Story: Little Red Riding Hood http://www.swan.ac.uk/history/teaching/teaching%20resources/Telling%20Tales/Tales/hood.html Red Riding Hood – A Gothic Love Tale http://macpooky.tripod.com/red_riding_hood.htm Little Red Riding Hood: Werewolf and Prostitute (this one provides the most interesting and lengthy examination) http://www.davidson.edu/personal/nidonowitz/Werewolf_Prostitute.asp The version of the tale as it appeared in the movie, as typed by one Totenkopf on Anime Genesis Fanction (at http://www.animegenesis.com/fanc/fanc/misc/01.shtml), is thus: Once there was a little girl, called little red riding hood, for she wore always that red riding hood. Now her mother had made her a suit of clothing for her to wear, and this suit of clothing had been made completely out of metal. Her mother then went away to stay alone in a little cottage in the woods, and told the girl, “only when you have worn out this suit of clothing shall you come and visit me.” So the girl, nodding solemnly, bade her mother goodbye and set to work to wearing out her suit of metal clothing.

“Who is it?” the girl’s mother asked.

Everyday she rubbed herself against the walls of her home, so that the clothing would be worn out sooner. Everyday, day-by-day, without fail she would rub herself against the walls, till her clothes became thinner, and thinner till she completely wore it out. Elated, she made some bread with butter and wheat cakes for her mother, intending them as gifts, and left her house for her mother’s cottage in the woods.

“It is I, your daughter, come to bring you bread and cakes, for I have worn out my clothing of metal and now come to visit you.”

Along the way, just as she was about to enter the woods, she encountered a wolf, which asked for some of her cakes and bread. She refused, for it was to be a gift to her mother. Unfazed, the wolf asked if she would be traveling via the road of pins or the road of needles. The young girl replied that she would be using the road of pins. Thus, the wolf ran quickly down the road of needles and knocked upon the door to the girl’s mother’s cottage.

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“It is I, your daughter, come to bring you cakes and bread.” And when the mother opened the door, the wolf killed her, eating most of her. Sometime later, the young girl nally arrived at her mother’s cottage. Knocking upon the door, she heard her mother call out in a strange voice, “who’s at the door?”

“Come in my daughter, the door is not locked!” But the door was locked, and the little girl had to climb in through the little hole at the bottom of the door. Once inside, she noticed that her mother was in bed. After the long walk through the woods the girl was hungry, and said thus to her mother. “Mother, I’m hungry, for I have traveled far and deep to this place.” And so the reply was, “there is meat in the cupboard, that you may consume to sate your hunger.” And as the little girl was about to eat the meat from the cupboard, suddenly a cat jumped onto the cupboard and told the girl, “do


not eat this meat, for this is the meat of your mother, whom has been murdered most foul by the wolf that now sleeps in her bed!” Thus the little girl told her mother, “Mother, this cat says that it is your meat that I am about to eat!” And her mother told her, “Surely this cat is lying, for am I not alive and well, talking to you even now? So throw your stick at the cat and eat the meat to sate your hunger.” So the girl obediently threw her stick at the cat, thus scaring it off before consuming the meat. When she had eaten her ll, she felt thirsty, and told her mother so. “There is a bottle of wine above the replace child, drink it, and sate your thirst.” And as the girl went to the replace and picked up the bottle, a bird ew onto the replace and chirped, “little girl, do not drink this wine, for it is the blood of your mother that has been killed by the wolf whom now lies upon the bed.” And when the little girl said to her mother, “mother, there is a bird that says that this bottle of red wine that I am about to drink is your blood, and that you were killed by a wolf, whom now lies in your place!” And thus came the reply, “child, am I not alive and well? So is the bird lying. Throw your cloak at it, that you may then drink of the wine in peace, and vanquish your thirst.” Thus the girl did as she was told, and drank of the wine, till not a drop was left. Now when she had eaten and drank her ll, till hungry and thirsty she was not, suddenly the girl felt sleepy. Thus her mother said to her, “come child, and rest by my side. I would have you by me once more.” And the girl walked to her mother’s side and undressed. Putting her clothes of cotton and wool neatly by the side, she climbed into the sheets with mother, so as to rest. There she saw her mother, looking very strange. “Why mother,” She exclaimed, “what big ears you have!” “The better to hear you with, my child.” Came the reply. “Why mother,” the girl continued, “what big eyes you have!” “All the better to see you with, my child.” Came the reply. “But mother, what big paws you have!” The girl exclaimed. “The better to hug you with.” Came the reply. “Oh mother, what big, sharp teeth and terrible mouth you have!” The girl cried out. “The better to eat you with!” The wolf said. And at that, the wolf pounced upon the girl and devoured her, rending apart her esh and bone, eating her alive, ignoring her screams. And thus, the wolf ate the girl, sating its hunger.


Animated Brain Hemorrhage -or-

Gundress Killed My Baby! by Joe Iglesias

I

f you’re not a raving soulless anime end like the rest of the Eastern Standard Time staff, you may not have even heard of this gem. There’s an excellent reason for this: Gundress was such a sloppy production that it was actually released to theaters unnished. The version I saw is revision 3.2, a stunning example of what is called “throwing good money after bad”. If this is their fourth or fth try at it, then I shudder to think what the theatrical version must have looked like. This animated tumor’s primary claim to your money is character design and “story consulting” from Masamune “Ghost in The Shell (GiTS), Appleseed” Shirow. Stay pure. He did not actually direct or write this, despite the presence of many things reminiscent of his writing. Still, he accepted their money and therefore deserves blame for helping to excrete this thing into existence. Rather than have you seek out this lm to see if it really is “that bad”, I’ll summarize it for you in as painful as a manner possible, so as to approximate the soul-wrenching torment I went through seeing this. Never say we don’t do anything for you. Any confusion experienced while reading this is a result of my evocation of the fever dream that is Gundress. And what is Gundress? As far as I can tell, an attempt to cash in on Shirow’s legions of fans, with the small complication that Shirow hasn’t made any new manga in at least ve years. The solution? Combine ALL his manga! Let’s see here... we start, appropriately enough, with a scene that could have been cribbed from GiTS or Appleseed, with our team of armor suited cuties storming an arms deal run by a villain who looks like he was swiped from The Real Adventures of Johnny Quest. This turns out to be somewhat prophetic. An inaction scene ensues, as people and robots just stand there in the middle of hails of bullets and grenades, occasionally falling over with looks of dull surprise on their faces. Just watching this part is enough to make me burst into tears already. This was denitely a theatrical release (Tyler Durden says, look for the cigarette burns), but it looks worse than

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just about any TV series I’ve seen lately. Where did the money go? Was Shirow lighting stogies with 10,000 yen bills? A related question is why we didn’t hear any reports of mass rioting at Japanese theaters. The astonishing lack of care taken to animate this and corresponding level of contempt for its audience is palpable. This isn’t actually the movie’s fault, but my viewing experience was rendered even more painful by the Japanese-to-Chinese-to-sort-ofEnglish subbing. If you laughed at Zero Wing’s “all your base”, this will hilariate you straight into a cerebral hemorrhage. I suspect this is the only sub of Gundress the world is likely to see, as any decent fan-subber would also be sane enough to tear out their eyes rather than spend enough time to translate and time Gundress. Oh God, do I have to talk about the movie again? Ok, they seem to be an all-female bounty hunter team or something or other, all wearing “Landmates” (™ Shirow). Their mechanic is also cribbed more or less directly from Appleseed. Clearly Shirow took a whole ve minutes out from designing posters and resin statues to recycle some old character models. To make this all the more jarring, Shirow didn’t do ALL the character designs, as shown by the refugee from a comical Go Nagai show posing as the, um, police chief or something. Did I mention just how appalling these mecha designs are? They look like something the Sakura Wars team decided were too silly to use. One has a clam on its head, for no particular reason. Another has a coffeepot for a head. I’m amazed he didn’t design one consisting of a giant upraised middle nger.

their choice of equipment we discover they are in fact Baby Spice, Sporty Spice, Hick Spice, and I Like Kittens Spice. Oh, and Angsty Cyber Spice. The impact this scene has can be judged by my lack of interest in remembering their actual names. Savor this moment of bonding, because it’s all you’re getting. This carefree attitude towards pacing is probably the most prominent gem in Gundress’ crown of shame; the “we don’t trust you because of your mysterious past” scene kind of loses its drama when it’s resolved in three minutes. Likewise, the revelation of the traitor in the, um, city paramilitary forces means nothing, since it’s only the second time we’ve seen the guy onscreen. Don’t even get me started on the decision to punctuate the maudlin death scene of the beatied weapons peddler with shots of the police chief comically gobbling candy bars. I can’t even bear to write about this appalling movie any further, so I’ll just count the remaining rip-offs: they hotwire a Fuchikoma from the GiTS manga, storm an offshore arcology from the rst Patlabor movie, which then spawns a “racing through the Death Star trenches” scene from Star Wars, capped off by cribbing from The Real Adventures of Johnny Quest again in a really terrible VR sequence. End with an indecipherable joke about sexual harassment and there you go. So there’s Gundress. As refreshing as a full-body beating and only half as good for you. Oh, the title? God only knows. At a guess, a reference to the cast of futuristically fetishistic hotties. Gun+Dress. Voila. God help us.

God, back to summarizing this abortion of a lm... so now they have the arms dealer in custody and have to defend him so he can testify against the people he was supplying, or something. I was distracted from the “plot” by the single buggiest production error in the lm: in his holding cell, we get a nice big close-up of the board the dealer is playing chess on... and very clearly see him take a white pawn USING ANOTHER WHITE PIECE. It was at this point I nally gave up and wept; the sheer level of wrongheadedness it takes to get to revision 3.2 and STILL miss something that basic can be nothing but deliberate. It was clear that Gundress would miss no opportunity to break my soul, no matter how minor. This single error encapsulates all that is wrong with Gundress, and hence, humanity. The Holding Cell Incident is only one, albeit soul-crushingly awful, example of the production crew’s problem with continuity. They can’t even make up their minds on what the city looks like. Is it a wasted pile of urban rubble, a shiny futuristic MegaTokyo, or something built out of termite mounds and snot a la Dominion? Depends on what shot this is. You’ve noticed I’m trying quite hard to avoid talking about the plot. Ah well. Soldier on. The gunrunner’s clients send assassins to smoke him, and I seem to have missed the exact point where he crossed from “criminal sleaze” to “comic relief”, but by God we’re past it now. In the meantime we have the scene I like to call This Is My Character Trait: the girls relax in their rec room and by

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A Look at the Classic Vampire Hunter D by Eric Chon D. That one letter carries with it a thousand pounds of force. Images of nightmarish creatures, strange powers, and a talking hand dance across our synapses like twisted, evil sugarplums. It envisions a world where darkness engulfs our very lives and humankind is nothing but cattle to those in power. It resonates within our soul; it drives us to the very brink of sanity. Of course I am referring to the trailer for the new Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust movie. It truly seems a tour de force in the making - after all, with Yoshiaki Kawajiri (of Wicked City and Ninja Scroll fame) at the helm it seems as if the ‘D’ name is in good hands. My original opinion of Vampire Hunter D was quite poor. I remembered it as being boring, trite, and horribly acted. To be honest, only the dub was available back then. However, even looking past this I was unconvinced. Vampire Hunter D was still something that only the goths and White Wolf players within my group of friends appreciated. But time has a funny way with memory. Upon showing said trailer to my girlfriend (over two years ago!), she became convinced that the original ‘D’ must’ve been worth seeing as well. This caused me quite a bit of dismay as my previous impression was that Vampire Hunter D resembled stinky ass more than anything of quality. This became a running argument and at every opportunity, I actively refused to even rent Vampire Hunter D lest I be subject to perceived brain death of M.D. Geist proportions. Well, time passed and after much resistance, my girlfriend convinced me to purchase Urban Vision’s (then) recently released Vampire Hunter D DVD and watch it with her. I was oored.

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Sure it was cheesy, unnecessarily violent, and overly melodramatic. But damn if it wasn’t fun. I mean really fun. In all honesty, I believe the version I saw back in high school (mind you, this was probably 9 or 10 years ago) must have been edited because I really don’t remember the content being this ‘extreme.’ I mean, body parts blowing up, people getting chopped in half (contents clearly visible)…I haven’t had such a good time since Fist of the North Star! Maybe that’s where the problem lies. The original is, by and large, a product of camp and zany-minded animators. Let’s look at the ingredients here: A talking hand. A 10,000 year old Vampire Lord who is, literally, bored off his ass. A female ‘protagonist’ - I use the term loosely - who basically wears a long shirt and panties (and that’s it). Gas clouds that eat the esh off of animals (but that can be shot at and sliced into). A man whose (one) eyebrow continues, and disappears, into the rest of his hair. Exploding golems. Add 50 gallons of blood and mix well. Any way you slice it, there just isn’t any room for serious drama or character development. At times I tend to think of Vampire Hunter D as an animated version of George Romero’s Dawn of the Dead or Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead movies. Despite being a movie about vampires, I believe that American zombie icks share the same spiritual link. And if that isn’t an endorsement, I don’t know what is. Perhaps I took my fandom of anime too seriously at the tender age of 14. Or maybe I was expecting real horror. Regardless, it doesn’t matter anymore. Vampire Hunter D has only aged well, and I like it better with each viewing. The character has so much potential that I’d really love to see someone else’s take on him. Whether the original creators intended hilarity or not doesn’t really matter; Vampire Hunter D entertains like nothing else.



Action! Adventure! Kung-fu! Soccer! by Eric Chon You know chocolate and milk? They are two great tastes that go great together. In this world, there are many duos that work well: Peanut butter and jelly. Beer and pizza. Penn and Teller. Even Bonnie and Clyde. Leave it to Hong Kong comedian Stephen Chow Sing-Chi to bring together kung-fu and soccer. And if you come away from this review with nothing else, you’ll know why Shaolin Soccer’s pairing of the martial with a footy game decimates those previous examples into smoking rubble. “Golden Leg” Fung (Ng Man Tat) is a super-star soccer player with an ego to match his nickname. After accepting a “dishonor” check to miss a goal, his career quickly takes a nose-dive as the upset crowd rushes the eld and cripples him forever. Twenty years after, Fung nds himself cleaning up after evil soccer mogul Hung (Patrick Tse), the same man who not only gave him the check, but planned Fung’s own leg-breaking downfall. After being thrown out into the street, Fung runs into Mighty Steel Leg Sing (Stephen Chow), an ex-Shaolin student walking the world, trying to teach kung-fu. After Sing gives a quick demonstration of how kung-fu can enrich your lives and make parallel parking easier, Fung, upset by Sing’s “over zealousness” to teach him, ings his empty beer can at him. It’s at this point we realize why they call him Steel Leg. Sing kicks the can into orbit (not quite, but almost literally) and a dazed and confused Fung (apparently more so than previous) stumbles away, muttering insults indirectly at everyone passing by. What follows is the standard “gathering of strength” as Sing and Fung try and collect all the other Shaolin brothers to form their own soccer team (aptly named the “Shaolin Team”) in hopes to enter the all-Asia Soccer Tournament run by Hung and championed by his (also aptly named) “Evil Team.” Of course, the usual training antics ensue and like any good Hong Kong comedy, a fair share of wacky slapstick and strange sexual jokes lls in any cracks in the plot. Throw in a “hideous” Tai-Chi master (who also happens to be Sing’s love interest and steamed-bread maker) and shake well. To be fair, Shaolin Soccer isn’t what I’d call “revolutionary” cinema. It’s quite formulaic in its plot and there really aren’t any surprises. But then again, what comedies are? It’s the execution that should matter, and Shaolin Soccer is nearly awless here. A major dif-


ference between this and many other comedies is that it successfully combines heart and emotion with aming soccer-balls and whirlwind kicks without becoming maudlin and excessively stupid. What’ll really grab you, however, is the action on screen. Featuring some of the best CG in a Hong Kong movie to date (and quite possibly some of the best I’ve seen in general), the actual Shaolin abilities come to life like never before. People y, kick, ip, and kung-fu their way into and out of every situation. From Sing’s Steel Leg abilities to launch a soccer-ball so fast it creates a sonic boom, to the “Evil Team’s” black-aura of soccer-power that envelopes their players, it’s all good. Even the insane handling of the ball on the eld looks believable! Hong Kong has come a long way. Combined with the legendary (am I being a bit much here?) talents from Chow’s regular troop of actors, the scenes sear themselves in the “mirthy” part of your brain. You’ll forever be comparing scenes in other movies to Shaolin Soccer and discover that they are lacking. In all honesty I can assure you that even Titanic could’ve been decent if a few of those soccer-playing Shaolin monks were onboard. Comparisons to Chow’s earlier work, most notably The God of Cookery are inevitable. Both are fairly similar to each other and, at times, I can see TGoC as being better. But this is like comparing gin to vodka (two great tastes that do not go well together). People will always prefer one or the other, but both’ll get you blotto in due time (and comparing HK Comedy to being rip-roaring drunk is a very small leap). I believe they must’ve tried that combo prior to writing in the amazingly incoherent and unforgettable “Shaolin Kung-Fu Is Great” musical number starring Mighty Steel Leg and Iron Head (Yut Fei Wong) respectively. In the end, you’ll need at least one pair of clean underwear in reserve prior to watching Shaolin Soccer. It’s one of Stephen Chow’s best movies to date (and that says a lot) and quite possibly has the most universal appeal. At times Hong Kong comedy can be a pretty bitter pill to swallow for the unitiated - it’s akin to being trapped in a rubber room with crazy, kung-fu lunatics - but if ever there was a movie that could help bring universal understanding and worldwide peace for this under-appreciated genre, it would be this one. So nd a friend, strap him or her into a chair (not too tightly however) and go A Clockwork Orange on their ass - they’ll be in for one hell of a ride.

Arriving to a Screen Near You! Coming to theaters April 5th, Shaolin Soccer will actually be released in the US under the stupid title Kung-Fu Soccer. There have been rumors oating around the Internet like unushables that Miramax may decide to regard the US audience as cheap-trash and edit this wonderful movie into the ground. According to Kung Fu Cult Cinema (www.kfccinema.com), Miramax may chop 20 minutes of footage (bringing it down to about 1hour, 30minutes), replace the excellent score with rap, and dub the entire thing into English. Remember, these are only rumors and a region-less Hong Kong DVD of this movie can be found quite easily on-line (and pretty cheap too). And if they prove to be true, I say we collectively burn Miramax to the ground.


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