A Guide to being A Student Parent Written By Kelly Ruff
Contents
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Introduction..........................................................................................................................................5 Why I went back to education? Student parents who are we?.............................................................................................................6-7 Breaking down the stereotypes Money money money........................................................................................................................8-9 What are you entitled to? Childcare issues.............................................................................................................................10-13 The many childcare options available the pros and cons of each one. Student life....................................................................................................................................14-15 How to have a social life at university Juggling studying with parenting..................................................................................................16-17 When to study and when to rest Coping skills..................................................................................................................................18-19 When it all becomes too much The experiances of other student parents.......................................................................................20-21 How other parents have coped in the same situation USEFUL LINKS...........................................................................................................................22-23 REFERENCES..............................................................................................................................24-25 How can universities help student parents..........................................................................................26
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‘Despite being one of the fastest rising student groups, many student parents feel that they are not supported and have difficulty in accessing information, such as finance and housing that could help them. Despite this, NUS research found that student parents were amongst the most determined to succeed. Simply put, student parents have a lot of responsibilities and fierce ambition to improve their lives, and that of their families.’ Student parents the essential guide (Camilla Chafer 2011)
Introduction
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I became a full time student five years ago; I wasn’t sure at first if it was the right thing to do as. I was worried about financing the degree and finding suitable child care for my son. It wasn’t easy but looking back now it was defiantly the right decision. I have a lot more confidence, met some great people, have more job opportunities and most importantly I have built a better future for myself and my son. Hopefully I have inspired him to take up higher education when he leaves school and to have higher expectations of himself. So I know how daunting it is to take that first step back into education. There is a lot of information and help out there it can make your head spin!
Insert picture of me at graduation!
My graduation July 2011
I wanted to put this guide together to give you all the basic information you need to become a student. In this guide I have shared my own experiences plus the experiences of other student parents. I have answered the common questions I have been asked over the years by other parents such as ‘How do you afford it?’ ‘Who looks after your son while you study?’ ‘How do you juggle studying with parenting?’ As I said its not easy but as long as you belive in yourself you can do it and think how proud you children will be when they see you graduate!
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‘There are some strong ideas of what a typical student is. A typical student image is of late teens in university;partying late, lying in bed, racing to lectures, propping up the bar in the student union and rationing out their loans from one term to the next. Yet statistics show that this is not the reality for many students (Smith and Wayman, 2009)
Important info *************** Things to consider before becoming a student * Explore your financial options extensively before hand. * Parenthood does not mean you are at a disadvantage but it does mean you will have a lot more on your plate than the average student. * Its not forever study is only for a few years and it will be worth it at the end. * If study seems too much at the moment wait another year than see how you feel then. *Education not only improves your life but also that of your family.
Student parents - who are we? *******************************************************************************************************************************************
Breaking down the stereotypes ‘They are a hard working group of people, from young parents still at school or college to university students from 18 to any age above. They are parents who are taking there first qualifications and parents who are taking graduate level courses. Student parents can be part time, full time or long distance learners. They can be paying for courses and living expenses from their own money
Callum and I on one of our days out together!
or maybe entitled to government funded loans and grants. In some cases they may be receiving benefits. The NUS found that the majority of student parents are more likely to be woman, mature students and part time learners. However, the NUS also found student parents to be a very diverse group with a wide range of backgrounds qualifications and commitments’(Student parents the essential guide, 2010)
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‘I’d had a very difficult time at secondary school and hadn’t wanted to study anymore. Shortly after having my son I realised that I wanted to study, and better myself, for his sake and mine’Hayley, 20 , access to social sciences
Important info *************** What you could be entitled to while studying Remember to contact the university before you start to talk to student finance as they may have grants or bursaries you can also apply for there. *Income support (in holidays only) *Housing benefit *Council tax benefit (students don’t pay Council tax) *child tax credit *working tax credit *Student loan up to £6500 *Parents learning allowance *Bursaries *Child care (up to 80% off fees) Plus DSAs if you have a disability LINKS http://www.direct.gov.uk http://www.turn2us.org.uk/benefits_s earch.aspx
Money money money *******************************************************************************************************************************************
I found one of the most difficult problems I faced was sorting out finance for when I was studying. Once I found out exactly what I was entitled to I worked out my exact incoming and outgoing expenses. Which meant I could budget for the months between loan instalments. I found that by setting up direct debits for all bills and paying my rent four months in advance I didn’t need to worry each month if I had enough to live on, Using any money left over to save or use for days out with my son. When you have finished your studies you wont have to pay back the student loan until you are earning over £15,000 Student parents can apply for loans in the same way a typical student can. Extra funding is available to help top up student loans for full time students, including maintenance and child care grants to help with the cost of child care.
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‘Child care is a crucial issue for both recruiting and retaining Student parents. The discission to begin or return to study is one that no student takes lighlty - at least of all a student with children’ Allison Garham, Chief executive Daycare Trust
Important info **********************************
Tips *Just because the nursery is the most Expensive it doesn’t mean it is the best, Follow your instincts and find out as much as you can about the daily routine they have with the children, the discipline procedure and the daily menu and most importantly talk to the staff and ask lots of questions before signing up. Some day care centres will allow you to put your child in for an hour or so to see if they like it there. *Try to find out your timetable as soon as possible as child care places get filled up quickly your university should be understanding about this if not question whether it is the right university for you? *Don’t be put off filling in forms they are essential to get funding. If you are unsure about anything on the forms ask student finance to check over the forms for you. *Consider the journey time carefully a long journey means less time to study.
Which childcare? *******************************************************************************************************************************************
Finding affordable and suitable child care is one of the most important factors for you to consider. There are a variety of child care options available there are pros and cons to consider with each of them. The nursery I sent my son to was recommended to me by another parent my son was really happy there and it was only across the road from my university, which was handy if ever I had to collect him due to sickness.
Nursery care pro- Your child will be able to socialise with other children his own age con- Can be expensive and you will still have to pay for holidays when he is not there. Child minder pro- Your child will get more one to one attention con- If your child minder is ill you will need to find alternative child care at short notice.
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‘We have no child care. Neither my husband nor I, despite asking, received our timetables until the first day of the course, by which time it was impossible to find four places in child care or after school clubs. If there are days when no one is at home for them, we take turns at missing classes’ Penny, 37, BA (hons) Applied Graphics Technology with multimedia
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School nurseries
pro- Your child will be able to stay to go into reception without the worries of going into another environment. con-School nurseries generally follow traditional school hours so can be awkward for early starts and late finishes.
School clubs
Many schools offer breakfast clubs or after school clubs to provide wrap around care for parents who need to be at work early or work till 5.30. pro- There will be no extra travel as the clubs are often within the School grounds. con- The times for pick up are not flexible so you will need to ensure you arrive on time.
Holiday schemes
If your children are nursery or school age you might find your work holidays are not the same as your children. Many colleges and universitys do offer holiday play schemes for students and staff but places do get filled very quickly so apply early. Most schools do a play scheme in the holidays most at a reasonable price.
Funding childcare *******************************************************************************************************************************************
Child care costs will be one of the biggest expenses while you are studying. There are many types of funding you may be entitled to do lots of research first before applying so you get the best one for you and your circumstance. When I first starting putting my son in to day care he was only 2 yrs old, I felt really guilty leaving him there all day 3 times a week. But I had to just tell myself that I was doing it for our future. As time went on it got easier and looking back now it meant I appreciated the time we spent together on my days off. I feel the time he spent there made him more confident and ready to go to school, he still talks about the nursery now telling me how much he enjoyed it there.
Important info *************** Available funding *Employer voucher scheme *Child care tax credits *Hardship funds *University welfare funds and subsided child care places *State nursery care of 15 hours a week for the over threes. *Privately paid
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‘As an undergraduate, most of the socialising revolved around the pub and I was only able to go along occasionally. To overcome this I joined the mature students Association, which was an absolute life saver!’ Clare, 25, BA (Hons) Philosophy
Tips ****************************
* It can be as simple as having a coffee before class with your classmates. * Go to the cinema once a month many have student discounts and going during the day is a lot cheaper. * Lunch out with classmates, a lot of pubs and restaurants do special offers on food during the day. * Try to find out if there are any other student parents at your university or join one of the many websites aimed at parents to find other parents who are studying. * Organise an evening in around yours and ask people to bring something to eat or drink or if the weather is nice Organise a picnic.
Student life
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As a student parent I found my experience of university to be different to that of my peers. I wasn’t able to attend the many social events that were organised in the evenings. When I explained I couldn’t get a baby sitter my peers were very understanding so we would arrange things to do during the day so I never felt left out.
My work so he never felt left out and understood why I was so busy around hand in time. I would explain to him that although I was very busy at the moment when its holiday time we would spend lots of time together. (Bribing with toys also works!)
Involving your child Children and study do mix quite well it just takes a lot of patience. Studying Graphic Design I was able to involve my son in my studies. Whatever I was doing I would give him some paper and pens so he could have a go too, we would also talk about
Being honest I was always very honest with my peers about my personal situation. The reaction I got from others was always a positive one. Although it is up to you how much you give away. Don’t tell anyone anything about your family circumstance or your finances if you don’t want to.
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‘ Plan your time and stick to it. But don’t just plan for study, plan time for family activities, or time for yourself to have something to look forward to. The quality of the time you spend is more important than how much.’ Penny, 37,BA (Hons) Applied Graphics Technology with Multimedia
Tips ****************************
* Only study when you are fully alert and awake , don’t try to do everything at once Housework is not a priority studying is. * Choose a quiet time when you know you wont be interrupted by the children. * Study elsewhere so you don’t get distracted by housework or anything else that needs your attention . * Rewards- Work towards an incentive , watch a film , have a chocolate bar, go to the gym, do whatever it is that you enjoy. * Try to study in small chunks that you can fit in through the day rather then a marathon session which can seem unachievable when you are busy with other things. * Try to get your work done as soon as possible so if anything unexpected happens you wont be to far behind. * If something happens which has made you fall behind don’t be afraid to ask your tutor for an extension.
Juggling studying with parenting *******************************************************************************************************************************************
Juggling parenting with your studies Unlike non student parents you will have to deal with childhood illnesses, sleepless toddlers, school events and other unexpected things popping up. At the same time you will have to deal with studying, classes and exams. But with good time management and organisational skills the two roles can be managed successfully. When to study Try to study when you are calm, will be uninterrupted and most importantly free. I know that might seem impossible but 15-30 minutes of study in a day is better than nothing. I would try to do small chunks of study rather than a whole day. I would do a to do list everyday in priority order then treat myself to something nice if I got it all done!
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‘Apart from the stress of end of year reports, presentations and course work submissions, it is satisfying to do this, it’s the first time in my life i’ve done something for myself. Its an ackknowledgement i’m a person and not just here for other people’. Penny, 37,BA (Hons) Applied Graphics Technology with Multimedia
Tips ****************************
Tips to tackle study stress * Make a list - prioritise in order of Importance and when work is due in. *Take some time out - Now you have a list of things to do put it away and ignore it for an hour. Go and do something that will help you to relax. When you are feeling more relaxed go back to the list and make a start on it but don’t try to do everything at once. * Get off facebook- when I was busy at uni I used to take myself off facebook as I used to waste so much time on it procrastinating when I should have been studying. * Organise all your course work into binders and get everything you need for the next day ready the night before that also includes school uniforms, school bags, books and packed lunches.
Coping skills *******************************************************************************************************************************************
At times when you may feel like you are floundering or only just covering the basics. What you need to remember that its not forever. Your children will not be dependent on you forever and you will not be studying forever. When it all used to become too much for me I used to take a step back and think about what it was that was actually stressing me out normally it
Value your achievements
Never write off your achievements ‘oh its only a short course’ or its just a degree in such and such’ Be proud of what you have achieved your education is important and the process you go through to get to the end and the energy you will put into it is important. Even feeling proud you have
was a combination of things, so I used to make a list to stop everything swimming around in my head then slowly make my way through the list to reduce the stress on myself. Normally the thing I was stressing about really wasn’t worth being stressed about. Whether you stress or don’t stress you will still achieve the same grade. So remember to take some time out to recharge your batteries now and then.
made it too an early lecture or completing all your terms work helps with the feeling that you are getting there. knowing that your children are being brought up well and you are working towards a brighter future that will benefit them is no small thing. So when you walk down the road hold your head high and be proud of yourself!
The experiances of other student parents
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Racheal, 27, full time PhD research student ‘I was a few weeks into my phd programme when I realised I was pregnant. Having children made me even more motivated and determined to get that PhD, because I now feel I have something to prove. Many people asked me, ‘ Can you have a baby and do a PhD at the same time?’ when I told them about the pregnancy. Having children has influenced my outlook, my academic interests and made me a fighter. Being a pregnant student raised a few eyebrows and being a working from home student has left me very detached and isolated from the university experience as a whole - something I previously really Embraced. I took six months maternity leave from my studies , and although I felt very guilty when I returned to the books, putting such a young baby in a nursery twice a week so I could have two full days of reading , I felt l like part of me had returned. I was lucky to receive a full stipend for he period of five years, which pays my study fees and gives me a maintenance allowance to live from. I am classed as a student, so don’t pay tax. This sounds ideal but no, it means I’m not entitled to any help towards my child care costs. My baby often comes with me when im interviewing people for my research and I regularly study in the evenings and when I’m pushing the baby round the park in the afternoons I think about ideas and concepts. My supervisors think my work is better thought through than previously. Having children is not an obstacle to studying, as they can really enrich your work, just like they enrich your life.’
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Heidi, 28, MA, Public Communication and PR ‘ I fell pregnant during my course and was five months pregnant by the end. I told my tutors after my three - month scan and they were very supportive. I’d planned the pregnancy so as to ensure i’d have finished the course long before the baby arrived so it never seemed like that much of a big deal in terms of any impact on my studying. I was tired during those first three months - but the prospect of having a baby was hugely motivating for keeping me focused on getting my dissertation done. One reason for doing the course was because we were ready to have a family and I knew, all being well, that I’d be having some time off from my career so I saw the course as an investment in my longer term future. That’s probably why I was so at ease with being a pregnant student but other people definitely seemed to see it as a bit of an anomaly. I never really thought of it as a big deal that I was pregnant and studying then graduating. I was about five months pregnant when my course finished. My friends were out toasting their freedom and looking forward to the summer off after an intensive year of studying, meanwhile I was sipping soft drinks and unwrapping tiny baby grows! My graduation ceremony was three weeks before my due date and my tutor offered me a job as a part time visiting Lecturer after I graduated.’
Help list *****************************
Access to HE www.accesstohe.ac.uk Help for people who left school with no qualifications Banardos www.barnardos.org.uk Support and training for young people Brightside UNIAID www.unlaid.org.uk Support for students 14-25 everything fromfinance to study skills British mummy bloggers www.britishmummybloggers Online support group for parents in education Childcare link www.childcarelink.gov.uk Government - run website with a postcodefinder for childcare providers in that area Student parents the essential guide www.student parentsguide.com Website with case studies and information on being a student parent. Citizens advice bureau www.citizensadvice.org.uk UK wide service offering free and impartial advice on a variety of matters such as housing, employment benefits and education Student parents the essential guide www.student parentsguide.com Website with case studies and information on being a student parent
Help list *****************************
Department for education www.delni.gov.uk Information for northern ireland residents on further and higher education Direct gov www.direct.gov.uk Government - run site with lots of informationabout going to university, student finance and parenting. Gingerbread www.gingerbread.org.uk Charity focusing on single parent rights with aims to improve the lives of single parent families and to give them a voice without labels. HM Revenue and customs www.hmrc.gov.uk Government advice and application forms for child benefit and tax credits Connexions Direct www.connextions-direct.com Information and advice for 13-19 year olds Netmums www.netmums.com A family of local sites that cover the uk, each site offering information to mothers on everything from where to find playgroups andhow to eat healthly, to where to meet other mothers. Student finance www.studentfinace.direct.gov.uk Information and application forms for applying for student loans, grants and bursuries.
Help list *****************************
Straight talking www.straighttalking.org National teenage pregnancy charity with peer to peer support for young parents to move into education, employment. Student parents network http:/studentparentsnetwork.blogspot.com For student parents by student parents the website offers information and support. Sure start maternity grant www.direct.gov.uk One off payment of ÂŁ500 from the goverment to help cover the costs of a new baby. The school run www.theschoolrun A good place to look for socialising and networking with other mums. Turn to us www.turntous.org.uk Independent charity helping people find and access welfare benefits and grants. UCAS www.ucas.ac.uk Everything you need to apply to university search for courses make applications and find out if you have been successful. YWCA www.ywca.org.uk Charity working with disadvantaged young woman and girls aged from 11-30. Includes employment , education and skills.
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References ************************* *****************************
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Department for children schools and familie/departmentof education, teenage pregnancy: statistics, www.dcsf.gov.uk/everychildmatters/ healthandwellbeing/teenagepregnancy/statistics/statistics. Duncan,Set al., TeenagerParenthood:Whats the problem?,Tufnell Press,London,2010. Smith, Gand wyman, S, Meet the parents, NUS, London, 2009. Chafer Camilla ,Student parents the essential guide,need to know London, 2010.
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How can universitys help student parents
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*Remember that student parents may be simultaneously raising children, working and meeting study commitments. *Be prepared to help students with accessing support, such as finance , appropriate housing, child care and dealing with issues of isolation. *Be prepared to be flexible with on deadlines if a plausible reason is offered (example childhood illnesses). *Don’t schedule exams or deadline hand ins around 3pm when schools close or after 6 when child care is unavailable. *Encouragement- A few kind words can go a long way when students are feeling pressured and under strain. *Provide tips or support for effective time management and organisational skills so students are not tempted to leave course work until the last minute. *Do not judge- You don’t know why they are student parents, just that they are, so try not to make presumptions that may not be true. *Remember that support from those around the student parent is important so they can continue to study, achieve and go on to successful employment.
Being a student parent the reality *******************************************************************************************************************************************
I hope this book will inspire potential student parents to gain the qualifications they need to improve their own lives and that of their children. I have gathered all the information I used while I was at university which includes child care , finance, support networks and lots more to answer any questions you may have about life at university while being a parent.