Their Light Lives On

The following are death notices received from friends and family from February 2020 to March 2021. To report a death notice, email communications@friendsseminary.org.

Richard Cooley ’42

Written by Karen Boysen, Richard’s daughter

Richard Strother Cooley ’42, passed on Dec. 4, 2020 at the age of 96. Prior to Friends, “Dick” had attended a private school in Cleveland and one in NYC. His educational experiences were less than fulfilling, and he truly did not enjoy school. He often told his family that from his first day at Friends, everything changed. He engaged and thrived, both academically and socially, and for the rest of his life he characterized those years as some of the best in his life. He made lifelong friendships with fellow classmates Richard Scully, Jack Milici and Rene Mastrovito. The four got together annually, and their spouses and children became close through the decades that followed. His dear friend Marion Cleveland Cohen ’43 remained a lifelong friend as well and was godmother to Dick’s son.

After serving as a radio operator in WWII, Dick went on to receive his BA from Washington & Lee University and his Masters in Education from Rutgers. He was head of the math departments at both Far Hills Country Day School (Far Hills, NJ) and The Buckley School (NYC), before retiring in 1990.

Jean Taylor Kroeber ’47

Written by her son, Arthur Kroeber

Jean Taylor Kroeber ’47, sculptor, died on Sept. 7, 2020, while residing at her summer home in Hampton, NY where she had spent several months each year since 1975. Jean was born in New York City on January 7, 1929 and grew up in Greenwich Village. After Friends she attended Radcliffe where she graduated with a BA in History. She then moved back to New York where she worked as an editor, studied sculpture at the Art Students League, and married Karl Kroeber, who became an English professor at the University of Wisconsin and at Columbia University.

Her commitment to sculpture was reignited in 1967 on a visit to Greece, and from then on she carved in stone (mainly marble) and wood. Her figurative style was influenced by Greek and Romanesque carvings and the strong figures of Aristide Maillol and William Zorach. She worked without drawings or maquettes and aimed for a concentrated expression of inner life. Jean’s work was displayed at many galleries in New York and Vermont, and she was a longtime member and president of the Catharine Lorillard Wolfe Art Club in New York City.

She served faithfully for many years as the Class of 1947 Secretary and was a donor to many progressive causes. She did not quite fulfill the prophecy of her Friends yearbook, which foresaw “Jean ‘Hot Fingers’ Taylor, of the Spike Jones band, clutching the ‘sweet’ washboard with which she has risen to fame.” She kept a keen interest in music as an amateur pianist (and a player of a clavichord she built herself), and a habituée of Carnegie Hall, where her determined attendance was cut short only by the cancelation of concerts due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Her wit and generosity of spirit will be badly missed. Her husband Karl died in 2009; she is survived by children Paul Kroeber, Arthur Kroeber and Katharine Kroeber Wiley, and four grandchildren.

Barbara Franzman Keely ’50

Barbara Anne Franzman Keely was born on July 2, 1932. Raised in Brooklyn, Atherton and Lafayette, California, she finally moved to Manhattan where she graduated from Friends Seminary in 1950. She met her husband, Edmund Mark Keely III while working for Cities Service in New York City. They moved to Pittsburgh and began their family. Their son Edmund Mark Keely IV and daughter Cynthia Ann Keely both were born in Sewickley, Penn. After moving to Oklahoma, Barbara started a wholesale and retail giftware company called “Caravan East” in 1977. According to her family, Barbara loved to read and continued to do so throughout her life. Her collection of books numbered in the thousands. She passed on September 1, 2020.

William Engler ’55

Written by Ed Carroll ’55

Billy Engler was equal parts laughter, lankiness, clown and unboastful competence. He pet-named me booby, I forget why, though he memorialized it in his note in my ninth grade yearbook. We had an adhesive relationship from the moment I entered Friends. He invited me to his apartment in Stuyvesant Town, where I was warmly welcomed by his sweet mother. From there we would go to Mac Jones’s apartment and devilishly enjoy the antics of Mac’s Siamese cat whose milk Mac had adulterated with some wine. On the outside, Billy was unfazed and undeterred by what some might consider adversity: during a basketball practice he took a blow to the face that sent him from the court holding his nose, gushing blood. He was laughing it off even as he was rushed to the hospital with a broken nose. In 2015 I discovered that William wintered in Tucson, 60 miles from where I was living in Rio Rico, AZ. We made a luncheon date at a favorite place, where I got to see the steely structure that had been overlain with the lightheartedness I had found so endearing at Friends.

He reminded me of an incident I had long forgotten. We were in the smelly old locker room getting dressed after some gym workout. We overheard Major Bella make an anti-Semitic comment, using an impolite word for a person of the Jewish faith. William claimed he still held me in admiration for telling him to go to Maj to register his displeasure at what he had heard. He also told me about going to Mr. Merrick for help in preparing for the Math SAT. Merrick suggested that he would be better off not taking the Math SAT—in other words “I don’t think you have what it takes for me to bother;” whereupon William studied on his own and did very well. At my probing, William filled me in on his family and career without boast, but obvious love and satisfaction. The MS with which he had been dealing for decades came up only as an aside to the accommodations forced on him to maintain as much ambulatory independence as possible on the inevitable serial dependence on one cane to two to wheelchair, the latter of which he did his best to forestall.

What a treasure! What a pleasure to recall! What a decent soul to gratefully and joyfully memorialize!

Stephen Mittenthal ’55

By Gail Tirana ’55

The Class of 1955 sends its condolences to Patricia, Steve’s wife, to Laurie and her husband and their three children.

By Art Goldschmidt ’55 Steve was kind, generous, and clever. He never said or did anything mean. He used to tell me that the one thing in life that he valued most was comfort, his own to be sure, but everyone else’s comfort, too. His favorite way of saying “Goodbye” was “Take it easy.” When Major ordered Steve to lead the senior boys in calisthenics, he proceeded to lead us all in finger exercises.

Like most of us, Steve liked to argue with Dr. Hunter about his multiplechoice American history questions. There was one where we were supposed to choose the answer that the development of the West benefited from the extension of the railroads. Having chosen a different answer, Steve argued that stagecoaches could have developed the West. “Steve and his stagecoach” made its way into our class song. And, having seen his resemblance to Prince Metternich in a history book photo, we called him “Mitternich;” and that’s how Steve signed my yearbook.

Adolescent friendships often do not survive, but Steve and I remained close for more than 60 years. When I was a first-year graduate student at Harvard, I remember feeling stuck in my dorm room on a lovely Saturday afternoon, probably struggling to read Islamic history books or master classical Arabic. Steve showed up on an unannounced visit—what a happy surprise! When Louise and I got married in 1961, Steve was an usher. When he and Patricia were married in 1965, we could not be there; but later his parents hosted a New York reception, and Louise and I showed up with our newborn son. Then when Laurie was a newborn and our boys were three and one, we met the three Mittenthals for a picnic near Hartford, where Steve worked briefly, for a very informal (and very childfriendly) lunch.

Steve, with a BA from Yale, MPA from Princeton, MA and PhD from Columbia, and with passions for American history, opera and travel, found his life’s work in philanthropy. Because Steve ran the Arizona Community Foundation, and I taught at Penn State, we were far apart, but occasionally his work or family responsibilities brought him back east, and we could meet. I also saw him once in Phoenix. Retired, we could and did meet more often.

When we learned that Steve had Parkinson’s disease, we wondered whether we would ever meet again. His daughter Laurie flew with Steve to New York so that he could revisit his old home, Friends Seminary and his friends. It was a wonderful reunion evening for us at Gail’s with class members and their spouses to honor the man whom so many of us loved.

Using Facetime, I talked to Steve some five times while he was hospitalized. He always asked after his classmates. He cared for us right up to the end. Requiescat in pace.

Mary Jaffray Cuyler ’60

Mary Jaffray Cuyler was born in Cambridge, MA and died in Cambridge on May 8, 2020. A lifelong Quaker, she was a wonderful friend to many. Choosing to never marry, she pursued a varied career and earned an MA in social work in 1989. Her passion for music began on 16th Street after an interaction with Friends Seminary teacher Jessie B. Winterbottom in the third grade who pulled her aside and praised her musical pitch. This moment sparked a lifelong relationship with music. She is survived by her sister, Susanna Cuyler ’63, brother-inlaw Neil Sloane, step-siblings Joseph Stillman and Madeline Iswalt. A note found in her desk read, “Never pregnant, self-supporting whole adult life, MA Social Work, swimmer across ponds with friends.”

Lawrence Pratt ’60

By Neil Mitchell ’60

All his Friends 1960 classmates mourn the passing of Larry Pratt, who had been bravely fighting a host of ailments over the last few years. We remember Larry for his omnipresent good nature and especially his sense of humor. He would show up at school with a copy of the Yale Record or the New Yorker and could be seen chortling over a humorous story or cartoon. Most fittingly, he attended then all-male Yale University (with five or six of his Friends classmates) and became a major contributor to the Record, eventually succeeding to the title of Editor-in-Chief—undoubtedly his childhood dream-come-true.

Larry lived in the Village, which may help explain his literary bent. His father,

otherwise a buttoned-down Wall Street real estate lawyer, was an amateur musician who moonlighted as a member of the Grove Street Stompers jazz ensemble. Larry and his friends would often watch the Stompers play in one of the Village watering holes on Monday night (when the “real” paid band had the night off). Larry and his wife migrated to New England and had a house in rural Massachusetts. Larry travelled to New York City quite frequently and was a regular at his monthly Yale class luncheons at the Yale Club, where he entertained the rest of us with humorous anecdotes, occasionally interspersed with bulletins on his declining health. Despite a growing list of ailments, he remained upbeat about his family and life in general. Larry, those who knew you will sorely miss your eternal optimism and positive outlook on life. You will be remembered with great fondness by all who knew you—especially your Friends classmates. Lawrence Pratt

Jonathan Small ’60

It is reported with great sadness the death of Jon Small on July 25, 2020 from brain cancer. Jon entered the Class of 1960 in the ninth grade and quickly became known for his wry sense of humor, sharp mind and genuine kindness. In response to the news of his death, many classmates reported him to be “one of my favorite classmates.” He had a great way with the written and spoken word and left the class a marvelous gift in the “Epitaph” he wrote for the 1960 yearbook.

Jon never realized his stated dream to be a long haul driver, but instead graduated from Brown University, Harvard Law School and the Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy. After a long and happy career as a partner in the law firm of Debevoise and Plimpton, he served for a number of years as Executive Director of the nonprofit Coordinating Committee of New York. His concern for those around him and for those less fortunate was always evident, and even in the most casual encounter he exuded kindness. Even as his health declined in the last few years, Jon remained upbeat, witty and full of fun.

Jon and his wife Cornelia (Nealie) have two daughters, Anne Small (son-in-law Matthew Colangelo), Katherine Small (son-in-law Daniel Sims), and four grandchildren, all currently in New York City. Jon and Nealie traveled widely and especially enjoyed visiting with friends they made in New Zealand.

The Class of 1960 has lost a good friend—a guy who gave so many of us fond memories and good laughs, a guy who led with his heart.

Joseph Porrino ’62

By Randall K. Nichols ’62

My friend Joe died on February 17, 2021. He was only two months older than I. Joe will be remembered by a huge network of friends, family, colleagues, acquaintances and few, if any, enemies. I knew Joe well at Friends Seminary during our formative years as adults. He had a wonderful effect on people around him and on me. His wide smile was both super infectious and disarming. You couldn’t help but like him. He was convivial and immediately you knew he was a sincere and genuine individual. He was like ice cream: you couldn’t get enough. It didn’t matter what crowd you ran in or your popularity “Q” score, Joe would make you feel comfortable and have you generally laughing in the first few moments of conversation. However, Joe turned into something different on the basketball court. I know. I broke my ankle just before graduation trying to catch him during a jump shot. Mr. Ice Cream turned into Mr. Asparagus.

In 1991, Joe married his wife of 40 years, Patricia Kerrigan. Marriages that long don’t last unless there is a very special bond in place. I suspect that Joe’s smile acted as part of the glue. I had a chance to catch up with Joe at our 40th reunion. At the table were two grey-haired guys acting like 18. It was as if nothing had ever changed. His smile was just as potent. I will miss him. May the Lord walk with him and laugh along the way.

Harlan Hurwitz ’65

Dr. Harlan Arthur Hurwitz died on November 11, 2020. Born in New York, Harlan attended Friends Seminary and went on to receive a BA and MA in Physics from Brown University, an MA in Astrophysics from Columbia University, and a Doctorate in Theoretical and Mathematical Physics from Wesleyan University. He went on to pursue a career in dosimetry and software for cash handling systems. He was married to alumna Susan Strauss ’71 for almost 45 years. Susan and Harlan met at Friends Seminary, but only began dating after Susan’s sister, Kathie Strauss ’65 invited Harlan to Susan’s surprise 18th birthday party.

Harlan was a devoted father to Leigh, Annie (Peter), the late Emma Hurwitz, honorary daughter Melissa, and a loving grandfather to Graham. He was a passionate man, with a wide variety of interests and talents. From his knowledge of cars, pens, language, far-flung travel, sci-fi novels and films to his wit and sense of humor, he was a force to be reckoned with. He was best known for his generosity of spirit, his sense of humor, his intelligence and his kindness. Harlan will be missed.

Nate Ranger ’76

By Bill Webb ’76

Nate arrived at Friends in seventh grade and immediately started introducing our class, which had been somewhat protected, to more of the 1970s downtown New York that surrounded us. That year, in Mr. Supton’s English class, he wrote a poem about a dream of a purple cow floating in the air.

Over the years, I would run unexpectedly into Nate on the street, usually near Second Avenue below 14th, and we’d find a place to sit and share what we’d learned since the last time. His sharing, in hindsight, was based on his incredible caring for people, it wasn’t about him.

By Jon Fabricant ’76

The things about Nate that stand out in my mind are easy to list. His warmth, and the fact that he expressed it effusively, physically and without reservation. Nate always wanted you to know he cared about you with a big bear hug and a kiss! His loyalty as a friend and his efforts to nourish and support his friendships. His humor, sometimes sweet, sometimes dark, sometimes mischievous and sometimes cutting and sarcastic—we shared many good laughs even in the difficult last months of his life. His stories, especially the ones about his parents, whom he loved and missed every day. His generosity and the sense of welcome you always felt around him.

The story I’m going to tell goes way back to the late 1970’s. I think it was the summer of my junior year of college. I was working at a restaurant in Wellfleet, MA on Cape Cod, and I accidentally ran into Nate and his parents who were on vacation. We made a plan to meet later or the next day. In the time before we were to meet, I got the tragic and traumatizing news that our classmate and my very close friend Harvey Bumgardner was killed in a plane crash. When Nate and his parents arrived, I was collapsed and feeling intense grief and shock. Nate’s warmth and support and the weird chance that he—someone who also knew Harvey from the same place I did—bonded us in the indescribable intensity and sadness of that moment.

Nate and I shared many more sad moments and tears in the last years of his life; I will miss you Brother!

By Phil Oetiker (a neighbor of Jon’s who worked with Nate)

Nate Ranger turned a lifelong love of movies into a successful career behind the camera. Show business ran in the family. In Nate’s case, he started out working for a top NYC camera equipment rental company in the early 1980s. There he met many of the working cinematographers in New York. He joined their ranks in 1986, passing the union test to become an assistant cameraman. He worked on commercials for a few years, and then branched out to movies and TV series. Moving up to the classification of first assistant cameraman, Nate would master the difficult skill of keeping the camera in focus as the camera and/or the actors moved. His credits include many feature films, working with directors Spike Lee, Noah Baumbach, Ron Howard and Ernest Dickerson, to name a few. A favorite of his was Billy Bob Thornton, for whom he “pulled focus” on the 1996 Oscar-winning feature, Sling Blade. In television, Nate is best remembered for being one of the original camera assistants on the first seasons of Law & Order. Later in his career, Nate served as a guest instructor to cinematography students at New York University and The New York Film Academy. Off of the set Nate enjoyed giving back, in the form of mentoring dozens of young, aspiring cinematographers. He helped them with their training, their networking and their confidence.

Mary Ford ’84

Mary Tamara Joelle Ford passed on November 18, 2020 in Bay Shore, New York. When she died she was surrounded by her sisters and brother. The youngest of 10, she was born in Port-au-Prince, Haiti to Reverend Guillaume Ford and Jeanne JeanLouis Ford. She suffered from lupus, a chronic auto-immune disease. Despite her chronic illness, Mary went on to be a writer and editor, entrepreneur and pastry chef. Those close to her describe her as positive, witty and intelligent. Her obituary reads, “Her life served as a testament to the power of faith, a reminder to give thanks for the privileges we have, and irrefutable proof that miracles are real.”

Irving Santana ’90

by Heather Lindquist ’90

Poem for Irv

Your truth

Acceptance

Your healing started years later

Trials and tribulations

Hard work accomplished even if for a short time

Breaking free from a cycle that no longer served you

Appreciation for you your light in a world of darkness

May your soul be at peace my friend

Miss your voice and laughter Your insight

I feel blessed to have known you

Proud to have been your friend

Until we meet again

Irving Santana

Hollis Salzman (P ’21, ’18)

Hollis Salzman, mother to Willa ’21 and son Finneas ’18, passed away on October 3, 2020.

One of the nation’s leading antitrust attorneys, Hollis spent more than 25 years litigating some of the world’s largest cases. She was a champion of gender equality and diversity in her profession. She embraced her role as a mentor and role model to other female attorneys, helping to inspire them to shine on their own merit: “Women can succeed and lead blockbuster investigations, even in a male-dominated field, without losing their identity or acting in a way that is not true to themselves,” she said. Her tireless dedication to advocating on behalf of women included an extensive pro bono practice representing indigent women and victims of domestic violence.

At Friends, Hollis served as a steadfast Parent Association volunteer in almost every role. She served on the PA Executive committee, in charge of communication. She was also a class representative and an Upper School Vice President. She was a Fund for Friends volunteer for many years and a volunteer on the Light the Future Campaign.

She is survived by her children. She is predeceased by her husband of 25 years, David Barry.

After the production deadline for this issue, we received notification of the passing of the following community members. We will endeavor to include them in the next edition of Meetinghouse.

Charmian Campbell Trundle ’34, January 2, 2021

Rachel Ross Parmenter ’43, December 2, 2019

Martha Kiser Wayt ’46, April 27, 2021

Sabrina (Andrea) Loomis ’60, December 6, 2020

Arthur Fink ’64, April 24, 2021

Steve Nellissen ’71, March 5, 2021

Eric Jelin ’96, May 13, 2021

Rajesh Malladi Shastry (P ’22, ’26) October 5, 2020