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Covid entrepreneurs
‘I’ll set up on some of that unused roadside land in Glen Eden. Sure I’ll have to move every couple of hours when a cyclist rides by but that’s cool.’
Yeah gidday. How’s y’all going? Man, how cool were those Olympics? Awesome! Gave me an excuse to switch on the telly during the day. Made me a bit body-conscious but. All those athletic types. Like when I pulled on me favourite hoodie the other morning, the one that, get this, instead of saying Jack Daniels, says Dak Granules. Classic Chrissy pressie. It fitted quite well until I had a few over lunch. Then I looked like I could enter the S13 Paralympics 100m dash for men over 60 with a visually impaired S16 woman shoved up my jumper. Moving on ... Chardonella and her bloke Eduardo have moved back into our bubble. We thought our daughter was finally going-it on her own but what’s a dad to do? She was renting a bedsit in Dorothy Place but felt it was too small for her, Eduardo and our grandchild. “Dad, I’m nearly in my 30s and don’t see why you and Mum should have to pay my rent out of your sickness benefit when I’m perfectly able to get my own.” I was actually quite proud of her. She had done quite a lot with her life. Had a child. Finished fifth form. Paid off the Falcon ute and still has points left on her licence. “I love being back with you and Mum, Dad. You have such a great relationship.” It’s true. We have reached a comfortable place with each other. Hell, I’d take a bullet for Shaz, partly because she once took a bullet for me. Well, from me. I was cleaning my rifle and accidentally shot off one of her toes. The one that goes, wee, wee, wee, wee, all the way home. “I’m actually starting up a business Dad, and was hoping to set up a space in the lean-to.” “What sort of business?” I asked. “It’s lingerie. I’ve made a bra and panties out of Covid masks. I’m going to sell them as a three piece set. If I can borrow your trestle table I’ll set up on some of that unused roadside land in Glen Eden. Sure I’ll have
to move every couple of hours when a cyclist rides by, but that’s cool. It’s even seen as an ‘essential business’ because, with every set you buy you get a free matching mask.” “Wow, that sounds like a bloody good idea girl. What would you call them?” “That’s the tricky bit. I was going to say Covid. We’ve got you covered but nah. Then I read about that Victoria Secrets online stuff and thought I’d call mine: Euphoria’s C Cups. Whattaya think? Mum thinks they’ll be essentially really beautiful actually.” Brilliant is what I thought. Really clever. Count me in. Well, moving on a few weeks, and mother and child have the Berninas sewing furiously in the lean-to. They have even taken on a staff member. A lady from Chile who had slipped into the Manukau Harbour on a yacht and kind of never left. She’s had all the shots and tests and the like. It’s nice having a positive buzz about the place. I guess belief essentially comes from longing and we’re longing to believe. On a personal note and a bit off track, I’m struggling to say goodbye to the comic genius Sean Lock. When Jimmy Carr asked what the dictionary would say if you looked him up in the dictionary, Sean said: “If you looked me up in the dictionary you’d get a fourlettered word. It’s got a ‘C’ in it, a ‘U’ in it and a ’T’ in it. That word of course is CUTE. “Really, I don’t think the dictionary has enough words to describe me. I’m so complicated. Like a sensation really. More of an idea. The way to describe me is a fragrance. When you smell it you say, ah, Sean Lock. It’d be like hot tarmac in a vet’s flannel.” Rest in peace Sean Lock and thank you. Later, Lizard.
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