Theme 3: Unfulfilled Aspirations for Connection

and guidance to navigate early motherhood. Providers identified the difficulty of introducing structure given mothers’ histories of adversity, stress, and rejection. Providers identified mothers’ struggle between structure and independence and viewed structure as central to successful parenthood.

Theme 3: Unfulfilled Aspirations for Connection

Connections within Maternity Homes

Mothers and providers prioritized connections and opportunities for “motherly love.” Yet, mothers’ past experiences interfered with the ability to form healthy relationships; mothers lacked trust in others including providers and other residents. When asked about her connections with others, one mother expressed a common sentiment:

It's one of those things where it's like everybody that you think you can count on ends up letting you down. So it's easier to just not count on anybody, and you don't have to worry about it. (Mother F, 25-year-old living as sole provider in apartment) Similarly, another mother explained her value on self-reliance for both herself and her children: [Single parenting] is a challenge, but I still get through it. Like it's very depressing. I get stressed out. I feel very alone. But I still do it because I can't let my daughter like feel like, “Oh, my mom needs help to raise us…that means I need somebody when I get older.” No, you don't need nobody. You can do it yourself. (Mother B, 21-year-old living in a group home) As this mother did, many mothers voiced that they distanced themselves from providers. Others who cautiously established trust with providers discussed how staff members betrayed their trust during their stay. One mother, for example, described how she felt the director betrayed her when a staff member accused the mother of having an overnight guest which was strictly forbidden. The mother denied having the guest, but the director kicked her out of the home due to the staff member’s accusations. The mother explained how the staff members “give the appearance that they welcome, but everybody turns out grimy at the end of the day” (Mother H, 21-year-old living in a group home). The incident reinforced the mother’s hesitancy to develop trusting relationships. Other mothers echoed this mother’s feeling that staff members may appear helpful at first, but “anything they help you with, they will throw in your face” (Mother M, 18-year-old living in a group home). Multiple mothers stated that providers are clear in their roles by stating, "[w]e're here temporarily. We're not here forever" (Mother N, 22-year-old living with her partner). The temporary nature of maternity homes was in the forefront of mothers’ and providers’ minds. Mothers often viewed the home as a response to the crisis of an unintended pregnancy. They commonly aimed to leave as soon as possible. For example, one mother who stayed for a total of seven months and prided herself on having moved in with her boyfriend explained, “I was the longest one [at the maternity home]…and I’ve been the only girl at their house, at this maternity home, that’s ever stayed that long” (Mother C, 18-year-old living with her partner). Providers voiced a desire for longer stays to provide mothers greater consistency; yet, they mentioned that the high level of turnover perpetuated short stays among both staff members and mothers. Despite staff and resident turnover and difficulties in developing and maintaining trust, some mothers bonded with their providers and viewed the providers’ commitment to them as turning points in their lives. One mother, for example, described how the maternity home director was the godmother of her baby and one of few people she could turn to in an emergency (Mother L, 20-year-old living in a group home). Providers also expressed connections with mothers, describing their ability to establish trusting relationships as key to mothers’ successes. For example, a provider described the importance of relationships: “[T]he biggest thing is they love us…they know they are loved, and they have a family and that continued support is there. They know that we are just one call away” (Home C, Participant 1). Elaborating on their relationship-focused approach, another provider stated:

I think if nothing else, if the girls didn't get anything out of counseling or anything out of parenting or anything of any of the services we throw at them, just knowing that for however long we had them, if someone cared, truly cared, and listened, and wanted to see them succeed, then that's a benefit in itself. And if that's the only thing I think we can provide, then I'm ok with that too. It's not just a group home; it's not just a place to lay your head; it's a place where hopefully you felt loved and protected and secure and cared for. (Home D, Participant 1) When asked about the difficulties of living in maternity homes, the vast majority of mothers complained about “mama drama” (Mother O, 20-year-old living in a group home). Mothers described their arguments as similar to other adolescents except that they were living with each other without time apart. They argued about boys, including children’s fathers, and house rules, such as curfews, drugs, and visitors. As part of the drama, mothers commonly discussed how shouting and fighting were typical in homes leading mothers to feel unsafe or expedite their departures to other housing arrangements. When explaining her reason for leaving the home after seven months, for example, one mother explained that the noise in the house interfered with her and her infant’s sleep (Mother C, 18-year-old living with her partner). With almost universal “drama” complaints, mothers also recognized that they contributed to the problem. Mothers referred to their younger (or current) selves as having an “anger management problem” or having a “hothead.” Mothers most commonly described situations in which they would be arguing with another resident, other residents would take sides, and then staff members would intervene into the drama siding with some residents and punishing others. One mother justified her outbursts ultimately directed at staff members:

I know I'm not perfect and definitely didn’t always come off right, and sometimes I would get mad and start yelling at the staff and stuff like that, but I feel like I had to get to that point whenever I just felt like I wasn’t being heard, so I started yelling. (Mother K, 18-year-old living with a partner) Similar to this mother, when asked what could have helped her the most, another mother stated, “The staff actually, like, listening or care about what I’m saying” (Mother G, 22-year-old living in a shelter). Indeed, mother-staff interactions were fundamental to maternity home experiences. Outbursts at staff—even if inadvertent or misdirected—resulted in home expulsion for several mothers (n = 7). Providers acknowledged challenging interactions between mothers in the home. Yet, they aspired for mothers to form supportive relationships with staff members and one another. Multiple homes created outings for mothers to bond. The following statement reflects provider emphasis on peer relationships: …we really look for ways for our girls to actually bond together, because if they all get along together then everyone's lives are better. So, all those events that they get to do on the weekends or together as a group, hopefully help to make some relationships. (Home D, Participant 1)

Connections Outside of Maternity Homes

Outside of the maternity home, most mothers perceived weak networks for both emotional and practical supports, often due to