The Good News

THE GOOD NEWS

BY DAVID LOWE

I wish I could say that I was one of the lucky few who never struggled with their faith or wrestled with God. I also wish I could say that my struggles were brief or trivial, but that would not be true. The truth is, I struggled for a long time over my relationship with God, my understanding of my faith, and the importance of both of those things in my life.

My struggles began a week before my eighth birthday when my father passed away. He had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a few months earlier. By the time of his diagnosis, there were no treatment options available so he came home, tried his best to hide his pain and deteriorating health, and gave our family one last Christmas together. He passed away less than three weeks later.

I had already begun my journey of faith before he passed away. My family had laid a solid foundation, teaching me about God and his Son, and some of my best memories of my Dad were attending church together as a family. After church, we would pick up donuts, have breakfast together, and then have a big family meal for lunch. I saw in my Dad what it means to be a Christian through the way he lived and the love that he showed to us.

The loss of my father at such a young age forever changed my family and devastated me personally. My mother stillinsisted that we attend church every week. She also attempted to keep God in our lives on a daily basis, but the seeds she sought to sow in me fell on the rocky path for a long time.

We still attended church every week and I had religion class at school, but it lost the meaning and importance that it had previously held for me. I went through the motions during worship and in my studies. I also struggled to understand how God could let this happen, felt sorry for myself, and wondered why this had to happen to me. The worst part was that I was constantly reminded of my Dad every time we went to church since he and my mom had made it such a big part of our lives before he died. Because of this reminder, I made no effort to deepen my understanding of God or strengthen my faith.

High school and college were not much better. I went to church regularly and still had religion classes through high school, but I did not feel like I had a relationship with God. He continued to be a presence in my life, but I was not capable of explaining how I felt or trying to develop a relationship with him. Instead, the sadness I felt when I was younger was largely replaced by anger. I went from trying–and failing– to understand why I lost my Dad to just being angry that he was gone.

The good news for me throughout this time was that I still believed in God. I didn’t doubt his existence. I just could not understand or see how God was working in my life. Thankfully God never gave up on me. But more than that, I now see that God was actively working in my life in multiple ways and sent people to guide me, support me, and push me back to Him.

First, my family and I stayed close. Too often, the loss of a family member causes a family to fall apart. We did not do so. My mother tried to fill the role of both parents and tried to guide the hardheaded and strong-minded son I was becoming. My sisters filled in when I was in high school. No matter how busy any one of us became, we were there for each other through thick and thin.

God also sent a teacher to me in high school when I was at an especially low point.

This teacher took a chance on me and let me take his journalism class, even after it was full and he had turned away other students. That began a relationship that continues to this day and he has become like a father to me.

Most importantly, God sent me my wife and our children. I recognized not long after we started dating that Amy had a strong faith and was filled with the Spirit. She read the Bible often, encouraged me to do so, and we talked about God often. She made it a priority for us to find a church that we could attend in which we could raise our future children. I see now that God’s spirit led us to First United Methodist Church. In FUMC, we have found a church in which we can hear God’s word. We have also found countless church members who are willing to give up their time to help us deepen our faith. We also found a church that has developed in our daughters a knowledge of the Bible and an understanding of God, his love, and the importance of leading a Christian life.

Most importantly, through my family’s growth, I wrestle less with God and have begun developing the relationship with Him that we all need, but which was missing from my life for so many years.